#lobotomies really aren't funny

[6th-for-truth]

I don't know whether to be delighted or ashamed at how much this makes me giggle. Available here in a variety of *girly* colors!

[spiribia]

apparitor getting on baru's case for being a heartless monster is really funny in retrospect because he's not actually that kind either. i think if they were going to lobotomize apparitor and baru found him unlobotomized after the fact she wouldn't be able to help herself from being like Oh thank the gods! but apparitor sees baru no lobotomy and is like WHY AREN'T YOU LOBOTOMIZED? so cold out there. what about the lovely memories the two of you shared, like the time she physically hunted you like a tiger in the library for no discernible reason

[spaceorphan18]

The Rogue and Gambit Project: Previously On X-Men... Gambit

It's time to talk about Gambit! The nice thing about Gambit is that he was, at the time, a relatively new character, having only been around in the comics for about a year. Which means there is way less to cover! Boy, are we going to have to deal with some questionable art, though.

The Basics:

Name: Remy Etienne* LeBeau

*Okay, so, this is the funny thing about the name Etienne. Apparently, it started out as fanlore, and - as so many things that happen in fandom - gained popularity as fanon from a particularly well known piece of fanfiction from way back when. I believe it's actually been used in canon at this point. It is on Marvel.com - which is the official site. I'll keep a look out for it to show up.

Also, in case you didn't know (and I'm sure you did), Le Beau is French for The Beautiful.

Backstory: Just like Rogue, Gambit's backstory is shrouded in mystery. He's a thief. He's from New Orleans. He's Cajun. That's all your getting for now. Don't worry, we'll peel back the layers. ;)

Power Set (via uncannyxmen.net):  interkinetic power allows him to produce bio-kinetic energy within his body and use it to convert any inorganic object's potential energy into kinetic energy on contact, making the object highly volatile and explosive on contact, internal energy also grants him heightened agility and creates static interference that shields his mind from detection

I should also give the obligatory comment of - these powers are toned down from his full abilities because of /reasons/ which we'll get to eventually. He had Mr. Sinister give him a lobotomy and, we've all been suffering the consequences sense.

Alright, let's dig into Gambit's pre-Rogue run...

Uncanny X-Men 266-267

Uncanny X-Men #266

I have to start by appreciating the fact that Gambit is a thief who wears bright pink and metal boots. It's a bold look.

Anyway, the funny thing about Gambit is that the character he turned out to be ended up being a lot different from creator Chris Claremont's initial ideas. Apparently, he was supposed to be, ultimately, a villain and, while he was supposed to be a love interest for one of our characters, it wasn't Rogue, it was... Kitty Pryde. He was also supposed to be a Mr. Sinister creation and a third summers brother. Yeah, I'm kind of glad Claremont left before any of this stuff really came to fruition.

Also, I once read that Claremont claim that original artist Mike Collins made Gambit too pretty. Which is funny, because ngl, I really am not a fan of the look in his debut, and it will be a while before he really earns his name.

Uncanny X-Men #266

I also want to note that Gambit's powers were a little different back then. He didn't have playing cards yet, and instead used metal spikes as throwing devices. The powers were designated in green. And were charged from his eyes. Also, interesting to note - his eyes aren't red on black yet, either.

There's also 'hypnotic charm' thing that was kinda used in the early appearances. He does use it in his first appearance to tame some of the Shadow King's Hounds.

Uncanny X-Men #266

He's gonna be calling her 'Stormy' for years. She's gonna love it. ;) (Btw - he calls her Stormy 4 times in this issue alone.)

Okay, so... Gambit shows up, crossing paths with Storm at a mansion of some rich person. Storm is de-aged (for... reasons) and is running from the Shadow King and his minions. He's busy stealing art from the rich dude (who apparently is not home and has no security, lol).

And thus, one of my favorite comic book friendships is born. And really, this first appearance is a lot of fun as Gambit and Storm play off each other's strengths to get away from the Shadow King.

Uncanny X-Men 267

Jim Lee is going to add some of Gambit's more iconic features -- such as throwing playing cards (Gambit's Ace of Spades shows up in this next issue) and using some kind of staff (hilariously, it's a broom in this issue).

Storm and Gambit's adventures continue. He takes her to New Orleans for a while so she can recover from the Shadow King. They go thieving -- playing Robin Hood -- stealing from rich people because they can. And then the Orphan Maker comes along, who makes Storm a teenager? (Idk - the whole thing is weird - she'll become her real age again in the next story arc.)

Uncanny X-Men #267

And then Storm is like, hey, I have a crazy idea....

Uncanny X-Men Annual #14

Fun fact: Because of release dates and such, Uncanny X-Men #266 wasn't the first comic released to have Gambit in it. The Annual technically came out first, though it clearly takes place after Uncanny 266-267. But this is the first time we see Gambit among the X-Men team. Not that he does anything remotely interesting during this whole thing. He doesn't even speak, kind of hides awkwardly in the background.

X-Tinction Agenda (Uncanny X-Men #270-272; X-Factor & New Mutants)

Uncanny X-Men #270

Welcome to the X-Men, Gambit! Hope you survive the experience!

He's in the credit roll now, must be official. ;)

Gambit joins the team just as the mega X-tinction Agenda crossover starts. (Uncanny X-Men joins New Mutants and X-Factor for this one) And, I'll be honest, this isn't one of my favorite crossovers. The whole thing revolves around the nation of Genosha, how they're using mutants for slaves, and how all the teams come together to change the status quo. And of course, mutants get capture and tortured and a few killed. Fwiw X-Men: The Animated Series did do this storyline.

Uncanny X-Men #270

Gambit and Cable don't (won't) get to cross paths very often, so I found this an interesting panel. Anyway... Gambit really has very little to do during this crossover. When Storm gets captured, he is really concerned for her (as he considers her his partner at the moment) but he's not really vibe-ing the whole team dynamic yet.

Uncanny X-Men #272

This is arguably the coolest thing Gambit's done as of yet. Dude pulls a spike out of his leg to use as a lockpick and gets himself rescued. I'm glad they give him this, because, again, for the most part he's just kinda hanging around in the background not doing much.

I will say - he and Jubilee get to cross paths, which is going to be a source of fun in the next arc.

Space Shenanigans (Uncanny X-Men 273-277)

Uncanny X-Men 273

Some of my favorite issues are when the team is regrouping. Post- X-Tinction Agenda, it's clear that things in the X-Office were changing. Claremont is at this point sort of being pushed out, while Jim Lee and Co are becoming more the driving force behind the books. On panel, the teams are kind of merging. X-Factor's first era is drawing to a close, and the X-Men are resolidifying after being in flux for so long.

We're about to get a Space Soap Opera, as Claremont so dearly loves, but this issue is a bit of a breather between the arcs. And we get this bit of tension between Storm and Gambit - where Gambit is ready to move on, but Storm is back on solid footing again. They don't explicitly state why Gambit sticks around, but he definitely does...

Uncanny X-Men 273

I swear, this is Chris Claremont's favorite joke. He's used it before this moment, and he'll do it again. It's impactful the first time, but it does get old the more Claremont does it. However, we get the first highlight of the dynamic between Gambit and Wolverine -- which will be antagonistic for a while, but is fascinating.

Uncanny X-Men #274

Doesn't Gambit look sexy in his yellow team uniform?? ;)

Btw - as I mentioned earlier, this is the first issue Gambit and Rogue appear in together. Though they be miles and miles and miles apart.

Uncanny X-Men #275

The whole crux of this arc, that I've been kind of ignoring, involves Xavier being brainwashed in space (or something) and of course the X-Men get involved in space politics (again). Honestly, space stories are Claremont's favorite trope, so it doesn't surprise me that the end of his run are filled with a couple of them.

Anyway -- if there's one person impervious to Gambit's charms - it's Jubilee. They get to hang out a lot during this arc, and it's really delightful since they team up to kind of figure out what is going on with Xavier acting weird and all the odd space kool-aide people are drinking.

Uncanny X-Men #277

I actually really like this cover. Gambit's got a sword and a spear! Plus, he looks like his 90s cool self now. The blue and yellow uniform doesn't suit him AT. ALL. But we don't have to deal with it too much longer...

Uncanny X-Men #277

See... I told you Claremont was gonna do this again, lol.

Uncanny X-Men #277

The nice thing about this whole space arc is that Gambit really gets to come into his own. He now looks cool (note the red eyes are here!). He's doing fun stuff. He's taking on Wolverine and holding his own. He's being smart and tactical and an asset. They've paired him with some great X-Men to start off with, and it's paying off.

Meanwhile, we don't really know much about him. As many of the other characters state, his background is shrouded in mystery... (whether you like what it actually is can be debated as we get to it). But for now, he's intriguing as a new comer.

And this is where we're at as two story lines come crashing together and our two romantic leads get to meet for the first time.... off panel.

But I'll get more into that next time when I discuss... The Muir Island Saga!

[amostimprobabledream]

Thoughts on Season 4 so far...

I know, I know, I should probably wait til it's finished, but I finally caught up with everyone else after being weirdly nervous about it.

Just what the hell was going on with the first couple of episodes? Like, episode one felt like it was written by someone with only a passing knowledge of the show. The dialogue felt clunky and it all seemed so rushed. It was a really boring episode. The second one was a bit dull too.

I felt so bad for Hughie when he heard his dad was in hospital and getting choked up over not talking to him and wishing he'd wake up so they could talk about the book his dad was excited about.

Fuck Hughie's mother! (If it really is her...) What a bitch. "Uwu, don't yell at me, son I abandoned for 20 years!"

I'm glad Kimiko seems to have been given more of her own story this season. Karen Fukuhara does such a good job with a character who doesn't talk.

On the flipside, I could not give a flying fuck about Frenchie and some guy he likes. I never care when the show tries to introduce non-Supe love interests. It's like Maeve and her dull girlfriend all over again, except I actually like Frenchie.

Wooow, Butcher has been so neutered this season. It's a real fall from his unchallenged rule In S1 & 2, but I can't say he doesn't deserve it after how horribly he treated his team.

Fuck off, Becca, fuck off Becca, Fuck OFF, Becca. God. Every time I see her I have to press the skip button. (Also it's really funny how she's inexplicably more blonde in Billy's hallucinations. What, did she get highlights in the afterlife?)

I don't care if he's a kid, I'm gonna say it: Ryan is SO boring to watch. He's saved by being important to Homelander and Butcher but god, every scene he's in I'm desperate for it to be over.

Has anybody noticed Homelander was talking to Ryan the exact same way Soldier Boy spoke to him when he called him "ungrateful?" He really is his father's son.

I didn't know what to make of Sage. The fandom was hyping her up to all hell so I was prepared to not be very impressed by her because of how much people were raving about her before she'd even done anything. I'm still confused about what exactly her motives are but her scenes with The Deep are pretty funny. I wonder why she told him about the lobotomy? Because she thinks he's too stupid for it to backfire on her? Hmm.

I know Firecracker is awful but she's so pretty and I love listening to her accent. I can't wait for her and Homelander to interact more.

I...am not loving Starlight's subplot? I get what they're going for, they want her to be this activist who's like a figurehead of La Resistance against Vought, but watching her campaigning and complaining about how she's not Starlight, she's Annie, is not fun to watch. I'm also not a fan of her hair or outfits this season, I think the shorter look suited her face more. (Also, the whole abortion thing came a bit out of nowhere. I feel like that might have been something that deserved a bit more exploration for Starlight, Hughie and their relationship?)

THAT BEING SAID - I do like her dynamic with Firecracker, because I think the writers wrote themselves into a corner with her in Season 3 because she's Starlight! She always has to be morally correct and good in every scenario! I'm glad they're making it clear she isn't this perfect angel - even the scene where Firecracker confronts her, Starlight kind of ducks responsibility by saying she's changed and "my mom taught me to be ruthless". Those aren't really apologies and Starlight only apologising because Firecracker is a threat to her reputation is really interesting - and not dissimilar to the scientists only asking for forgiveness when their monster came back to kill them.

Victoria's relationship with Zoe is confusing. I forgot Zoe existed, actually. I'm not even clear if Zoe is her bio kid or adopted one, because if the former, who's Zoe's dad?

A-Train's redemption wasn't something I was looking forward to, but it's being handled fairly decently, way better than how Maeve did like, one good deed per season and got handed hers on a silver platter. I'm still a bit upset that he's basically been absolved of Robyn's death though.

Homelander. Oh my GOD. He's so unhinged this season and we haven't even gotten to the big finale yet. His facial twitches, the little micro-expressions, his pissy little "ShutthefuckUP!" at The Deep, wow. Antony Starr continues to carry the show on his shoulders.

THE LAB SCEEEENE. Jesus. That was like something out of a horror-thriller, yet I was cheering for him the whole time. Antony Starr deserves ALL the Emmys.

[worlds-least-responsible]

// holy fuck I'm glad you mentioned that it's not fucking funny it's just ableist and weird. Seriously has been bothering me for a fucking while. Also like. I hate saying it but people are 99 percent of the time using it for weird gross shit and it's really. Arughhh. I need everyone who thought this was a good idea to blow up. I've been here since this demo so I feel like I've been watching the Fandom get slowly worse help.

- 🐈‍⬛

// yeahhh i've heard. it's actually so disappointing considering mouthwashing in itself is a wonderful game- really just proves that people are NOT ready for stories that deal with darker themes and don't try hiding or sugarcoating it,, god forbid having characters who aren't entirely good or bad or that suffer with serious mental issues !!

everyone is done so dirty by the community. anya is not just a rape victim who's constantly sad and crying and afraid (because that's what her entire character is about apparently???) and i could make an entire separate post about that and how it's disgusting. daisuke is NOT just a happy go lucky silly little guy. swansea also didn't do shit to help anya. none of them did. i highly doubt they've could've, anyway

i won't even bring curly up because again,, that could be an entire separate post on itself

and jimmy. jimmy is by far the worst case of this. the takes on him are one worse than the other .

seriously though who the fuck thought that a "lobotomy au" would be a good idea.

[rabbiteclair]

after I mentioned it last night multiple people expressed interest in my thoughts on Lobotomy Corp so here we go.

(cut for various minor spoilers)

This is the kind of game where my friends who've already beaten it are gathered around me like a pack of hyenas watching a wounded gazelle, asking me questions like "so, what do you think of this character?" and then huddling up to whisper amongst themselves, presumably eagerly waiting for me to hit the scene where, I dunno, Hod vivisects and eats a baby while looking directly into the camera or whatever.

People really looked at what happened to the word Sephirot(h) and went 'listen, we're just getting started' huh.

If Hod wants to eat a baby though, I think that's her right. I wanna hug Hod.

Netzach can have one too. A hug, I mean. Eating a baby would probably just make him more depressed.

Yesod is in the 'fucked up, but I can see how he got there' tier. If the game gave me true managerial oversight, I'd make Netzach share half his drugs with Yesod. I think it'd be good for both of them.

Malkuth is kinda scary, but I like her anyway.

Angela is just scary and at this point I'm 90% sure that there's some 'the PC is [important thing here] and she is fucking with your memory/perception to hide it' stuff going on. If I had to guess, that blank is 'actually B' or 'actually A', but I'm going on pretty scant and indirect clues so far.

This game is going to be forever warring with Arknights in my mind for the rights to define the word 'Enkephalin.'

Judging by my friends, I've had pretty horrible luck so far, including the game skipping me directly from Teth to Waw and then giving me some of the roughest Waws to boot. I only got He ones later.

As of last night I'm currently around day 20 and getting ready to make my first rewind back to day 1, because hoo boy am I not prepared for Alephs.

I was dreading rewinding, because I am very attached to my pro super agents Max and Yum-Yum, and then I realized. I also have the fucking... iron maiden thing. The one that you can only use/research by letting it murder people. The one that I haven't researched at all, because I don't have people to feed to it. But if I'm rewinding anyway... Thanks for your hard work, everyone, I'm just gonna need you to leave your gear at home today, form a queue, and step through this door one at a time. Don't mind the screams.

I might still spare Max and Yum-Yum though. Go free, my friends. I have no quarrel with you. Try not to get blood on your shoes, there's gonna be a lot of it.

One Sin, Fragment of the Universe, and Scorched Girl are my friends.

The first time Meat Lantern escaped I went 'okay, I don't know what this guy is capable of, so let's round up everyone I have and send them in to pummel it with their best weapons.' It killed literally every agent except like two who had guns, in one gigantic bloodsplosion. I've discovered some ways for Meat Lantern to kill people that my friends didn't know was possible.

Old Lady, Child of the Galaxy, and Naked Nest aren't friends exactly, but they're generally well-behaved energy-printing machines. My friends insist that Naked Nest isn't, but my kid Max has that thing locked down. (Sorry again if I do torture you to death in an electronic iron maiden, Max.) Every Zayin I haven't mentioned basically falls in this category, except they don't actually make meaningful levels of energy at this point.

FUCK Alriune, all my homies hate Alriune.

CENSORED is pointedly not my friend, but it's so funny that I can't dislike it. To a lesser extent this also includes Grave of Cherry Blossoms, because every time it's gone off, it's killed some clerk while I watch and go 'eh, this is fine.'

[zrllosyn]

WIP Favorite Lines

OUGHGHGH BUDDY IM SORRY I DO NOT CHECK MY MENTIONS ENOUGH BUT!! @hideyseek THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME!! These are from literally all my documents so. God knows when they will see the light of day. (never)

Rules: a line you think you've struck gold with in your WIP(s)

Most of these aren't necessarily 'gold' but i do like them very much. Also i do obscenely short sentences a lot, so uh. Some of these are two.

Also there is a lot of them so i am putting them under the cut (i write too much random stuff)

COFFEE SHOP - Lobotomy Corporation AU

Its A and Garion character shenanigans, where they hate each other's guts but they've been isekaied and now only know each-other. I think its SO funny. Its a fic for me.

It also brought him curses. Like the one that had walked in through his store's front door.

CORVO LOOPS - Mlp loops but dishonored

Its, for me. Corvo is an anchor and is looping, he goes THROUGH it. This one is where samuel wakes up but this line is so out of context.

"Your halls are a mess corvo, how many damn swords do you intend on collecting--"

UNTITLED - BNHA oc fic

I have this bastard oc I call Thrones bcs he's angel themed, and he's originally and Iruma-kun OC? But i put him into BNHA and it surprisingly works lmao.

The mental blocks he had placed in the way of his quirk vanishes like tissues in water, melting away and he feels his light burn.

TRAVEL - Blind Griffin AU fic

Look, the visual novel is really fun, and I like time travel. This one is parallel universes though, and its about grief.

She stares at the empty lot that was her lab and home, and represses a long, long sigh. 

DARE - Nobunagun Fic

Sio and Adam have gender shenanigans. Aka cross-dressing, but it comes with gender revelations and I love that for them.

"I bet I'd make a better lady than you, at least." Adam scoffs, smiling with all teeth. "Im prettier than you even as a guy."

TOMMOROW, TODAY - Houseki No Kuni Time Travel Fic

this one is on AO3, but the recent chapters i just havent been feeling, sadly. I liked this bit i wrote though.

 Phos tries to argue, the hollow ache in their chest filling their form in a tingling vibration that makes their very form feel like its about to start ringing— and the sky shatters.

UHHH I TAG. FRIENDS. FEEL FREE TO NOT DO THIS. TBH, SORRY IF THIS IS LIKE. SOMETHING YOU'VE BEEN TAGGED IN BEFORE

i am mainly tagging yall from the discord soz

@ajitated @13threbagel @filly-serenity @ravenatural @bubblegumbeech @princessfanonanona

[rad-claid-plaid]

at first, all of the lobotomy jokes were pretty funny to me. I think in part because it's unexpected. lobotomies aren't done today, so it's just haha funny thing from the past. but honestly, after some thought about how lobotomies were primarily done to women, especially mentally ill or "rebellious" women (whatever that may mean), I don't really find them that funny. an article i was reading said they've largely been replaced by antipsychotics. i have to come back to this. i have things i have to do right now

[vertigoambrosia]

looking at some jujutsu kaisen again

nanami is hilarious; my man fucking hates work just like everyone else

i know spoilers about him but for now we stan one (1) guy who wishes he didn't have to have a job

it's really hard to skip the intro/ending themes on free crunchyroll (at least on the roku app) before the ads come in so i'm lucky the ending theme is really catchy

(i know i could just stream on my computer where i have adblock, but i like being able to watch shit on the tv)

i know about the hidden inventory arc so it's intereting seeing geto here

poor ichiji he's just a little normal guy

noooo leave junpei's mom alone!

that finger had extra crust on it

btw i can't believe in that ending bit gojo basically sent nanamin dickbutt

someone has to have made that edit, right?

what the fuck man! i was not expecting that to happen to junpei

poor guy

...why am i watching curses play popup pirate

nanamiiiiiii

oh no we're getting nanami flashbacks he's done for :(

oh no he's even prettier with the glasses off

i can see why people go feral for him on twitter

YUJIIIIIII

he said FUCK YOUR DOMAIN

uhhh thanks for the meatball recipe i guess?

oh it's tournament time now?

oh jogo has his body again

man i hate mahito so much

those stictches on geto's head are freaking me out; makes me think of lobotomy :(

oh new opening???

i love that nanami and gojo hang out

a robot??????????

man this show's tone is really all over the place

feels weird to have wacky tournament time right after that mahito fight

gojo is loveable but it must be a nightmare actually having to deal with him

new ending is quite skippable i miss the old one

ok now it's tournament time

maybe

ohhh todo is gonna get wrecked, isn't he? (like he deserves)

or wait he thinks he's found his soulmate or something because they both like the same type of girl

seriously what is this

LMAO at the inoki quote

ok for real though why is there a robot

i don't remember the third first year's name and i feel bad about it

tbh i don't remember a lot of student's names rn but it's different since she's a main character (or at least on the same level of character as megumi)

i'm tired of todo honestly

man todo really thinks he and itadori are a Fated Battle i guess

...what's a pepper-kun?

oh what the fuck is this creepy ass mechamaru shit?

omggg baby panda!!!

damn mechamaru probably isn't even that poor guy's real name

i hope...

'humans are creepy' that's such a funny way to put it

eat shit witch girl

oh that nail technique is siiiick

fuck yeah nobara!!

ok but if mai and maki are both rejected by the clan why is mai such a jerk about it?

like obviously mai's life in the clan sucks too, but i'm just not gaining the sympathy for her i feel like i'm suppossed to

ok i didnt' see her not even wanting to be a sorceror coming

maybe i'm being too harsh

another recipe?

ok can the chuunin exams finish already?

i love that this is supposed to be a curse felling contest but everyone's just doing pvp

man the eyes always closed character design really annoys the shit out of me so i'm glad at least kumo has a reason for it

ooo voice guy!

i love miwa and hate the kyoto principal

damn these clans aren't just dysfunctional, they're antiquated sexism dysfunctional

oh mahito's here to end the chuunin exams early

lmaooo wtf the old man's weapon is rock?

these post-episode skits are so weird

i should be asleep but i'm not :)

noo nue :(

and inumaki i guess :(

main boy is back!

hah i guess i'm getting invested enough to not have a lot to say

todo wtf

'imma let u die if you don't hit that move, bestie' (but also give you important advice)

finally after a lot of talking and exposition todo actually starts helping

man i really want to see what his technique is but it is also almost five in the morning and i've watched like six episodes in a row so i guess i'll stop here for now

[mentally-retired]

hot take:

lobotomy jokes aren't funny and were an unfortunate reality for a lot of people, mostly women and queer people and in particular black women

"haha i need a lobotomy" no you fucking don't. these were half the time not egen trained medical professional sticking fucking needles through peoples eyes and not really knowung what theyre doing yet they did it to so many people

its not funny

[postsforposting]

This may be a difference of terminology, but no. No matter how you're raised, what you're taught, you can recognize that what's happening is wrong and unfair. Claiming that people raised by cults can't have empathy is no different from those same cults claiming that everyone else is incapable of love--it's literally the same statement, rephrased to sound secularly scientific and indisputable from your own political point of view, you know, just like theirs is phrased from their POV. It's not different when you do the same thing they do.

What happens IRL when you're trapped in a cult like that? When you know something you're taught is wrong, but doing anything against that cult will earn you a beating? Death? Things worse than death? What are your options? Do you do the "right thing" and risk your life, or do you follow what you're taught because it's not worth your life?

>who may have had the purest heart but would say and do the cruelest things because they had been said and done to them for so long

No. It's because this is what they've been taught is good and right, and they've been taught that doing anything else, even questioning, earns you a beating. You cannot ask anyone for help, you can't go somewhere else for something better, for different ways to do things. You have nothing and no one to tell you anything different. People literally do not know any better, and they have been conditioned to fear questioning, to fear anything but tradition, to fear the new, to fear change, because all of those things earn you consequences worse than death. People cannot change unless change is allowed, unless being wrong is allowed, unless you are allowed to ask questions and be wrong and change things and experiment. In cults, none of that is possible, and all those things carry consequences worse than death, because all those things mean anyone can be right and improve things, the authority can be wrong, equality has to be accepted over hierarchy, and strict control can't be maintained.

On top of that, again, people do not have room to do anything but what they were taught, regardless of their own internal beliefs. It does not matter what they feel is right, they literally can't do anything except what they're allowed to. Crowley could not save someone from suicide and abject poverty without being punished for it. That's not a metaphor, that's literally what happens irl too. Gabriel couldn't stop armageddon without a lobotomy either, being stripped of his self. That's what cults do: who you are is overwritten with their demands, and god help you if you try to assert yourself--do I need to remind everyone whose side god's always on?

You perform to specifications, as it is written, or you suffer. It is not an accident of framing that the show brings up "it is written" so often: this is how it's meant to be, your defiance carries divine consequences, no one will help you. Angels don't have friends, it'd be a funny world if demons went around trusting each other.

And here everyone is.....affirming that people who had the misfortune to be born in cults, or even just to abusers, are dirty people, less than.

>There's nothing in GO that indicates Crowley feels bad about himself or anything he's done

Did we watch the same show? "I didn't mean to fall, I didn't want to be a demon, all I did was ask questions". That whole scene in his flat from S1 is angst over his status and fall. He doesn't regret his actions, but that is not the same as saying he doesn't feel bad about himself or doesn't feel like he's accepted. He was violently ejected from heaven and all of hell treats him as an outcast too: we never see him having friendships with the other demons, with humans, anyone really until S2, but even Nina, Maggie and Muriel aren't really "friends" so much as friendly acquaintances. He does not think he did anything wrong, but that is not the same as being unaffected by the abuse he received for his actions. He is absolutely affected, we see it in how he acts. He is not lying when he says he did nothing wrong; he's affected by what happened and how he was treated. Those things have consequences on how he sees the world and how he acts.

He feels like he has to hide his eyes, his face, from people in order to be accepted. Either he can't change his eyes or he chooses not to; either way, it's something he explicitly hides from everyone because it would get him rejected, people would treat him differently, because it is a mark of his fall, his otherness, his rejection. He even hides it from Aziraphale, even in the shop, until fairly recently.

It's not that Crowley wants to be forgiven, it's that he did nothing wrong and falling was an injustice to everyone. Those are different things. Undoing the fall doesn't undo the harm done because that would not acknowledge that it was an injustice in the first place, nor would it prevent anything similar from happening again, nor does it fix the same system of control heaven still runs in itself. Abusers saying they're sorry for kicking you out on the street as a child doesn't change that they did that, and it doesn't change that they haven't changed; all it really is, is them wanting another go at you. That's what the offer to be an angel reads as. It's not safety, even if it is safety from one half of the system, because you're going right back to the other half. If mom and dad don't live together and both are cunts, neither is an option.

That's how it reads when Az offers forgiveness to Crowley, even though Az doesn't mean it that way. Az actually means that he recognizes what just happened would require consequences, either from him or from someone else, like we see with forgiving Maggie's rent: he rightfully could demand she leave and pay up, because those are the consequences of nonpayment, but he instead waives the consequences, ie forgives. When he offers forgiveness as an angel of god, he's saying that he does not want consequences to happen, he does not wish for god's wrath--either because he knows that wrath is unjust or disproportionate, or whatever other reason. His language for that is forgiveness.

We are shown over and over again that Az learns heaven judges for inconsequential things, and judges harshly, without trying to find out why people do what they do, without understanding anything, and without caring about....anything. Heaven set up Job to fail; they set up Elspeth and Morag; they set up all of hell. How is that fair? We see Az learn over and over that things aren't so simple as heaven claims, and by the end he flat out doesn't want to go with Metatron after breaking with heaven in s1.

Unfortunately, Az uses the same language for personal stuff when he thinks he's been wronged, because humans do that too, instead of saying something like "I'm not going to hold this against you" or just plainly "I'm going to overlook what you just did" the same way Crowley did with most of what Az said in S1 at the bandstand. What he meant after the kiss depends on how that scene is read; I think Az is performing for Metatron and speaking in code, while Crowley isn't. Crowley wants to be romantically together; Metatron just threatened Crowley in order to get to Az because Az is involved with him, and so that relationship has to cool down if not end on all levels but the professional in order to keep Crowley safe. Thus, the only response to the kiss while Metatron watches has to be "I forgive you", regardless of what else Az feels, or what other layers are going on. That forgiveness functions to protect Crowley in two ways, by rejecting the relationship in front of the Metatron, and also--if forgiveness works the way it ought--by protecting Crowley from anyone else's holy consequences for "sullying" an angel, for tempting an angel, however you want to interpret that. Did Az mean to hurt Crowley with that line, did he wholeheartedly want to cause pain? That's a different layer, and he could have, but I don't think that's the main reason he said it. He did not want Crowley to leave; if his aim was to hurt him, if he was acting in anger, he wouldn't have been upset Crowley walked out, unlike the fight at the bandstand.

There's also the fact that we were shown in all the flashbacks that their coded tip-offs that something is afoot are all them saying wacky, completely wrong things like "Gabriel is an expert in human births, he saw Eve get born", and other flat out wrong things. Az opened his speech to Crowley with a lot of other flat out wrong things, but this time it was all wrong things about themselves, and those are harder to follow when it's your own business on the line rather than someone else's. Like how it was hard for Sitis and Job to follow the wacky cues about their kids, because it was their own kids, even though Crowley and Az could read each other just fine through the bullshit. It's different when it's someone you know, instead of random bodies.

You know one reason people do feel compelled to stay in cults or go back? When they have siblings or pets they can't get out. You know, hostages. Like the earth and humans are hostages to god in GO. How demons and angels are hostages to the system too, even if they don't know it, or can't do anything about it themselves, like all the demons resenting the freedom Crowley has, and Muriel having no one to talk to her entire existence. The funny thing about Az going back is that he has the same idea that he can change the system that Crowley as an angel thought was possible. Everyone always thinks "why don't you just" and "why can't you just" because they haven't lived it, because it doesn't make sense. There isn't sense to be had, is the problem. Even people who want to change, can't, because they can't trust the system. You can't put trust where there isn't any. It's a catch-22: you need your end result in order to make the change, but you can't make the change without having finished your overhaul and gotten the result. IRL it's possible to create change like this, but it's extremely slow. It's like getting rid of corruption and bribes as a way of doing business. That's why S3 is probably going to have a complete revolution/rebellion.

Ok wait wait…

In season 1 Crowley says

“I’m a demon, I’m unforgivable, that’s what I am.”

And i just realised that Aziraphales ‘I forgive you’s’ arnt what I thought they were. To Crowley, and any religious traumatised person, they sound like a condemnation or pointing out of wrongdoing.

But what Aziraphales ACTUALLY trying to do is speak to the deepest part of Crowley that Aziraphale knows feels unloveable and unforgivable.

Crowley pretends to be evil, going around asserting how deplorable he is at every opportunity. But the flashbacks have been all about Aziraphale getting to see past that.

Aziraphale says ‘I forgive you’ because that’s just the language he knows. But he’s really trying to say:

‘I see you, I see what you believe you are and what you pretend to be. And I disagree. I believe you are worthy of grace, acceptance and unconditional love regardless of what you’ve done.’

And that’s why he was so EXCITED by the Metatrons offer. He thought that finally Heaven is seeing what he sees. Finally Crowley will see his own worth, he will see himself the way Aziraphale sees in him.

His last ‘I forgive you’ wasn’t intended a condemnation or a stab at Crowley. Aziraphale was also angry, he was also hurt. He believed Crowley was making the wrong choice out of bitterness and was running away like he’s done before. But he sees Crowley, he knows his heart. And he was trying to tell him that regardless of what you do or say, I will always forgive you. Even as you stand here crushing me into a thousand pieces, I will forgive you.

And that’s so Aziraphale. Of course he gets his heart broken and the first thing he does is say ‘I forgive you’.

[ein-liebloser-wanderer]

Can you write general headcanons for Der Freischütz? Would love to see your take on him~

You mean the devilishly attractive marksman that nearly everyone is head-over-heels for? I'm glad you asked.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

⸸ F-01-69 (Der Freischütz) -- Base Headcanons ⸸

(He's hot. He's powerful. He also has a long stick that will shoot you down, and not in the good way.)

"Just as the Devil said, the bullets will puncture anything he pleased...forever."

Everyone knows the Sharpshooter, but I wonder just how many know of his legend beyond the data entries?

Not that there is anything you need to know beyond the fact that he made a deal with the devil in exchange for absurdly accurate bullets, but depending on which variation you heard, there are many ways to interpret his character. Isn't that the fun about folklore?

But of course, since this character is Project Moon's retelling of the character, I would still stick with what they have written.

That is, a man who killed everyone he loved.

"The last bullet would puncture the head of his beloved. The moment he heard that, he sought and shot all the people he loved. Then he told the Devil, 'This magical bullet can truly hit anyone just like you say.'"

⸸ Because of the quote above, I interpret him as being...afraid of attachments. It would certainly explain why his Attachment work has been replaced with Request.

⸸ Perhaps that isn't the case now that he is a Devil, but certainly when he was a human, and his incapacity to bond is just a bonus to his supernaturally accurate rifle.

⸸ Another theory I have is that the Marksman had always been incapable of it, even before the contract. A psychopath, essentially.

⸸ All we know from his entries was that he killed all of his loved ones, but even then, it is up to debate if he truly ever loved them, if he had a differing definition of 'love' is, or if he was hesitant to kill them.

⸸ That, and we can surmise from his flavour text that his seventh is the one currently still lodged in his heart.

⸸ And now that he is a Devil, there is really nothing stopping him from doing whatever. At least when he was a human, he would have been inhibited by human laws. Not anymore.

⸸ F-01-69 (hahahahaha funny internet number. I'm an adult, I swear) came to Lobotomy Corporation because he was bored...or feeling lazy. Why do I think so? Because I really doubt the facility captured him.

As one could see from his ability, he could shoot from anywhere in the facility through a portal that he can summon at will. For all we know, he could just walk right out of that place.

⸸ I don't think he is completely devoid of emotion. He can still feel them, but it is very weak and fleeting. At most, he would feel irritation, contentment, disappointment, and contempt...but never the strong ones that most of us value--and loathe. Happiness, love, hatred, grief, and hopelessness are all alien to him.

⸸ I like to imagine him having a sort of professional rivalry with Little Red Riding Hooded Mercenary. Both are mercenaries with a lust for blood and violence, but are polar opposites in everything way.

⸸ Both are masters in their art, the difference is their style. ⸸ Little Red is reckless and explosive, and her attacks are always a barrage of different weapons. One moment, she is using her sickle swords. The next, she is shooting large holes on the walls with her dual shotguns. ⸸ Der Freischütz is controlled, and only ever uses his rifle. Because of it, he never misses his target. He isn't responsible for any of the casualties, that is their fault for being in the way.

⸸ Rivalry doesn't mean he dislikes her, though. Yes, he finds her methods ineffective (because surely, there are better ways than shooting bullets allover the place like a blitzkrieg). But out of everyone else here in the facility, she is the most competent, and similar to him.

⸸ If he ever finds an Agent similar in mindset to him, consider that person his new friend rival, because honestly, there aren't a lot of people who can keep him entertained for long, and likewise, there aren't that many he's willing to spend his time with.

~ ~ ~ End ~ ~ ~

Credit to managerialtips for the portal headcanon.

[jessielefey]

Youtube "funny men" who think they're Matt and Trey, and aren't even Seth MacFarlane.

I forgot the video thirty seconds after I watched it, two years ago, so I can't show you the specific one that set me off, but I found a variation of the specific joke that did it every quarter or so (at least until covid made those kinds of jokes political enough I can avoid the people who would make them by username alone), just often enough to really annoy me (and just long enough after I posted this to vindicate me when posts like this start to make me doubt my memories, like, fuck, did I make it up? ... nope, there it is again) in that way that deserves a 2am tumblr rant and absolutely no more important followup because it wasn't that important just a pet peeve.

The joke is some approximation of "haha look at those stupid superstitious primitive morons in their edgy outfits, what were they even wearing that mask for, did they think they could scare the plague away? they thought air freshener would save them? lol" (You can see how that joke has aged especially poorly under the circumstances, unless you're the type to say the same thing about wearing masks now.)

Usually being held up in comparison to "real" doctors, like those guys weren't hiding in the homes of the nobility like cowards and leeching people to balance their humours (not entirely fair either, but point made for comparison and contrast; why are the plague doctors scorned for a lack of education or its conmen, when the "real" doctors at the time didn't even know what organs we had and were literally just guessing and mostly only serviced people of means which is honestly just another kind of con).

Both sides have their history of conmen and snakeoil, up to and including now (fuck the essential oil antivax crowd, but fuck bmi and anti-fat dietary consensus and the ravage that antibiotic overuse caused and the prescription opioid epidemic and "babies and black people can't feel pain" and lobotomies and migraines aren't real it's just women being hysterical and...) and both sides have discovered miracles. And if Star Trek 4 taught me anything it's that in four hundred years we're going to seem just as stupid, so give the bird boys the respect they're due because it's what we're gonna receive. Only the respect they're due, there were totally people making it worse and people scamming and people just using it as an excuse to loot the dead. No doubt. Same as now. People are always people. But people are always people, and ignorant isn't the same thing as stupid, and if there's one thing that really gets on my nerve, it's this paternalistic impulse to look back at the past, and to other cultures in the present even, and go "look how stupid they are, next to me a wise rational educated modern thinker whose Science(TM) is always correct." (Not to be mistaken for real science, which is always assuming its wrong until reasonably proven undebunkable, and is actively eternally trying to be less wrong instead of proving itself right which any asshole can do. //gestures at everything//)

It's the weird enlightenment arrogance that nobody understood anything until the western world invented science in the 18th century.(heavy sarcasm)

Apparently I badly want to go on my “stop making fun of plague doctors, they were ahead of their time and doing the best they could with the primitive equipment they had available” rant.