#lmfaoooo too true

[dragonanon]

I feel like Satan, if his and his S/O were to get married, would not so subtly hold that over Lucifer's head

Like yeah sure, Lucifer rules hell, but at least Satan's marriage isn't on the rocks. Lucifer can rule hell all he wants, Satan can at least hold his own marriage together

Lucifer: “I am the king of Hell! Not you! YOU obey ME!”

Satan: “Lol at least MY wife didn’t divorce me and go MIA.”

Lucifer:

[idontmindifuforgetme]

OH NO DID MCAT BOY FAIL YOU??

Girl it was so bad I was literally like ohhh I feel so bad for cancelling on him let’s give him a chance. So today we spontaneously met up and studied together and we just ended up yapping the whole time . And at first it was fun bc he gives off this funny party guy who’s also ambitious impression (my favorite type). He says some questionable white man things I let slide. But then towards the end he goes on this whole rant ab his ex and how he’s pissed oft she didn’t wanna have kids (he’s 24) and how we should be thinking about having kids seriously and how women’s clocks start ticking (this man wants to be a doctor one day) so I should be thinking about it at my old age of 22 (yeah). This whole time I’m listening and smiling but on the inside his autopsy is already monogrammed in my mind’s eye bruh it’s so over

[moe-broey]

THE PROTOTYPE MOE............... 👁️👁️

[wewontbesleeping]

type of "content" that probably drives me the craziest is when women, just regular, every day, non influencer women who haven't had plastic surgery or fillers/botox mention their age and all the weirdos have to file into their comments to be like "you're 35??? I'M 35 and i look soooo much younger than you!!! you look OLD and UGLY!!!!!" like. first of all, what makes you think that's ever an acceptable thing to say to anyone? but second of all, you do not look 18. i don't know who told you that, but they were lying. you look 35. she looks 35. there's nothing wrong with that. walk outside and look at what actual human beings look like without filters. you have lines on your face, too.

[deus-ex-mona]

#swag

[lewisvinga]

an old friend | charles leclerc x fem! reader

summary; y/n and charles used to be best friends and even had crushes on each other until she had to move away to england at 13. but thanks to her job as an influencer, she’s invited to the miami gp where there she reunited with a childhood friend.

fc; merveyano

warnings; ? idk maybe a suggestive comment

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1

notes; requested !

masterlist !

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

yourusername uploaded to their story !

[caption 1; guess where i’m goingggg] [caption 2; monacoooo!! hoping to meet some old friends here 😁]

yourbestfriend replied to your story !

yourbestfriend just say ur still in love w charles

yourusername i’m not in love 😭😭 besides i was just a 13 yr old girl w a crush🤒🤒🤒

yourbestfriend yeah and he got rid of that bieber cut and he’s a cutie now

yourbestfriend and ferrari invited you, there’s your chance! 😁

yourusername i just wanna be friends w him again, i don’t necessarily need to date him😐

yourbestfriend yeah but like i said, he’s a cutie

yourusername i mean…. true🫢

yourusername i’m sure he has tons of models wanting him though, i just miss my old best friend!

yourbestfriend OUCH wow🤕🤕

yourusername c’mon y/b/f😕😕

yourbestfriend set me up w lando norris and i’ll forgive you ( and kiss charles )

yourusername ????? Y/B/F??

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liked by yourbestfriend, charles_leclerc, and others !

yourusername: monaco u were amazing as always n that ferrari dining hall is fire 🔥

tagged; scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc

yourbestfriend: and that d is fireeeee🔥🔥 ( was it tho ??? )

yourusername: y/b/f ur on a timeout.

username: help the second picture ??

username: my role model😍😍

username: base is always flawlessssss

username: the 🫶 around charles she’s just like me lmfaoooo

charles_leclerc: glad to show you where the best food on the paddock is😎😎 your love for pasta never went away, huh?

yourusername: cha i have a bowl of pasta at least once a day since i was 10 🥸🥸🍝🍝

username: omg charles and y/n????

username:gorgeous gorgeous girls are f1 fans 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️

scuderiaferrari: we loved having you in our garage 😎❤️

yourusername: tysm for inviting me🥹🥹

charles_leclerc: YES thank you thank you😁

username: y/n and charles knew each other from before?

yourusername: he’s an old friend !😁

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

yourusername uploaded to their story !

[caption 1; the photographer] [caption 2; the outcome 😸]

yourbestfriend replied to your story !

yourbestfriend so did y’all kiss?

yourusername noooooo

yourbestfriend LIAR

yourusername he took me out for lunch then we maybe shared a kiss or two 🥸🥸

yourbestfriend LIARRE

yourusername okay definitely more than 2 kisses😁

yourusername so maybe i still did have a crush on him and maybe he had a crush on me this whole 🤓

yourbestfriend TOLD UUU

yourbestfriend now wyd talking to me go kiss mr. cutie

yourusername u don’t gotta tell me twice 🫡

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbestfriend and others !

yourusername: i forza’d his ferrari

tagged; charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc: i’d let you forza my ferrari anyday 😊

landonorris: i have a feeling this has a different meaning,..

yourbestfriend: you’re definitely right (heyyyyyy)

yourusername: 🤫

username: the caption???? i’m???

username: WOW she’s so pretty i can’t

username: charles 🤤

username: girls who drive ferraris>>>

username: she sprinkle sprinkled too hard n is now a wag

yourusername: the best type of sprinkle sprinkle 😇😇😇

username: QUEEEEN

username: she’s a ferrari gyal now

username: ugh she is the moment 😍

francisca.cgomes: miss u sm!!!🥹

yourusername: miss u too😢 next time we hang out just us girls so we don’t third wheel our bfs💆‍♀️

pierregasly: hey now, it wasn’t like that!

francisca.cgomes: ….. i’m not even saying anything 😁

charles_leclerc: ??????? what

yourusername: so true bae so true

[sweeterlovers]

HIS LOSS / LANDO NORRIS + JACOB ELORDI

lando norris x piastri reader + reader x jacob elordi / SMAU

FACE CLAIM / hadar lavy

WARNINGS / cheating!

-

INSTAGRAM

liked by gossipf1, f1lover, and 36,751 others

f1gossip F1 GOSSIP: Lando Norris caught cheating on Y/N Piastri??? Lando Norris has been spotted with a mysterious blonde woman!

view all comments

user6 WHAT WHAT

user78 holy shit bro

user0 no more papaya rules….

user2 LMFAOOOO

user613 mclaren garage bout to be real awkward

user8 the DRAMAAA

user03 SINCE WHEN WAS LANDO DATING SOMEONE???

user836 where have u been????????

user5 bro i don’t know.. i didn’t even know oscar had a sister 😭😭

user6782 you’ve been living under a rock

user111 what the actual hell

user3 his loss i guess

user521 i don’t even know anymore

user778 landoscar 😭💔

user89 well that’s over with

user2000 anyways Y/N deserves better

user58 welp!

-

INSTAGRAM

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 135,726 others

y/n.piastri well it’s just me and my stuffed animals against the world 🙂

view all comments

user2 girl you deserve better

user57 wait the stuffed animals are so cute

user05 i know 🥹 what are their names???

y/n.piastri well the octopus is named mimi and the kitty is named princess mellow!

user267 awww

yourbsf anyways your so hot wtf

y/n.piastri 😘😘😘😘 ilyyyyyyyyy

user9 stop she looks so sad :(((

user2 i wonder why….

user88 i wish i looked that good after getting cheated on

user892 the fact that he’s still liking her posts….

user0 ugh he’s so icky

user83 i hope she can still come to the paddock and support oscar!!!

user543 me too!!! we may have to wait a bit for that tho

user452 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁

user362 your so pretty!!!

oscarpiastri why are mimi and princess mellow so far apart?

y/n.piastri idk they need space

-

MESSAGES

yourbsf

ok y/n you’ve been sitting in your room for the past week, you need to get out and go party!!!

y/n

i’m not in the mood

yourbsf

ok well i don’t really care!

y/n

?????

yourbsf

go get ready! i’m picking you up and we are going to the club!!!!!!!

-

INSTAGRAM

liked by oscarpiastri and 265,727 others

y/n.piastri 🍾🪩⚡️

view all comments

yourbsf HOTTIE

y/n.piastri LOVE U CUTIE

user3 okkkk i see youu

user0 you look soooo good

user67 revenge outfit 🔥🔥🔥

user1 party girl era?????

user56 imagine she goes to a party and sees lando as the dj

user9 i would die

user267 this post is chaotic and put together at the same time

user78 you look amazing!!!!!!

user566 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻

user6 i want to party with y/n piastri

-

MESSAGES

my dear brother 🤧🤧

how was the club?

y/n

it was alright

my dear brother 🤧🤧

did you meet anyone?

y/n

nope!

my dear brother 🤧🤧

i’m sorry, if it makes you feel better i can run him over!

y/n

it’s whatever, but i wouldn’t be made if you “accidentally” crashed into him

my dear brother 🤧🤧

noted

-

INSTAGRAM

liked by oscarpiastri, jacobelordi, and 73,624 others

y/n.piastri i was going to wear this to the club but i changed 👍

comments on this post have been limited!

user9 jacob elordi in the likes????

user0 oooooo!!!!

oscarpiastri 👌👌👌

yourbsf you look good either way!!!!!

-

INSTAGRAM

jacobelordi

hey! i know this might seem weird but i’m in australia visiting my family and i’m free and i was wondering if i could take you out on a date?

y/n.piastri

are you being for real?

jacobelordi

yes?

y/n.piastri

sorry this was just unexpected! but i would love to go out with you!

jacobelordi

great! i’ll dm you the details

-

INSTAGRAM

liked by jacobelordi, oscarpiastri, and 164,263 others

y/n.piastri date night 🤍

view all comments

user6 WHAT

user78 ok girl!!!!

user10 looking gorgeous!

user2 i’m glad your moving on from lando <33

user9 yeah he’s a 🚩🚩🚩

user34 most of the drivers are 😭

user16 true

user57 gorg!!!

yourbsf i see you!!!!! 👀

y/n.piastri LMFAO

yourbsf well text me the details…

y/n.piastri yes ma’am 🫡

-

INSTAGRAM (PRIVATE)

liked by yourbsf, jacobelordi, and 12 others

y/n.private lately with me 😘😘

view all comments

yourbsf cuties!!!!

jacobelordi what is that second picture?

y/n.private it’s a picture of you with a bow edited on you! 🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀

jacobelordi did you do that?

y/n.private yes!!!!

-

INSTAGRAM

liked by jacobelordi, oscarpiastri, and 167,282 others

y/n.piastri 🤍🤍

view all comments

user3 SOFT LAUNCH??

user88 i know!!!

user00 anyone know who the guy is?

user2 i think it’s jacob elordi cause he’s been liking her posts

user7 idk but @oscarpiastri & @yourbsf may!

oscarpiastri maybe 🤷

yourbsf i can’t disclose such information

user675 😻😻😻😻

user013 the last photo 👀👀👀

user4 and the first one! they seem so cute together 😊

user37 ok but she looks sooo pretty in the second pic

-

INSTAGRAM

liked by y/n.piastri, oscarpiastri, and 568,926 others

jacobelordi me and my girl @y/n.piastri

view all comments

user56 my husband 😖😖😖😖

user78 i can’t have anything 🪦

user0034 😍😍😍😍😍

user4 she kinda reminds me of rapunzel in the second photo!

user00 ok but they’re kinda cute together

user3 i guess…. i’m kinda salty about it

user6 like you had a chance??? side eye 😒

user002 who even is she?

user23 she’s the sister of a Australian f1 driver (oscar piastr)

user22 ok i see him!

user46 love to see a fellow aussie

user378 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

user402 and the kangaroos 🦘 🦘

y/n.piastri you beat me to the hard launch ☹️☹️

jacobelordi i’ll make it up to you :)

user4002 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

oscarpiastri i swear if you hurt her…

jacobelordi you’ll run me over with your race car

oscarpiastri bingo!

-

INSTAGRAM

liked by jacobelordi, yourbsf, and 306,372 others

y/n.piastri me and my mans 🤍💙

view all comments

user3 cute!!!

jacobelordi love you baby

y/n.piastri yeah yeah i love u too

user03 🤗🤗🤗

user77 an upgrade!!!!

user49 damn…..

user00 🇦🇺 🦘

user622 the flowers 😻😊

user08 i know!!! so cute!

oscarpiastri cute.

yourbsf CUTIES I LOVE LOVE 💗💗

y/n.piastri THANK YEWWW

-

SWEETERLOVERS - sorry that took my so long to write 😭

[p1utofairy]

PAC: “cause every little thing that we do, should be between me & you.” 🕯️💭✨

• what are your person’s dirty thoughts about you?

disclaimer ✩: 18+ mature themes. thank y'all for 1K omg <3 y’all really fw with lil ol’ me?! ily ily ily. 🥹 here’s a lil sumn sumn to celebrate. 🥂 p.s. take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. enjoy!

pile 1 ⭐️ —

“you don't need me, please believe me. this ain't easy, you know i've been feindin'. let me unleash my demons on you.”

“innocent” is what i’m hearing pile 1. your person will underestimate just how much of a hold you have on them lol initially they’ll think that you’re more of the submissive type, but oh are they in for a treat! you hold your cards close to your chest, so it’ll surprise them when this other side of you comes to the surface. i’m hearing “classy in the streets but a freak in the sheets” LOLLL. oh i’m also picking up that some of you may be inexperienced (or may not have as much sexual experience as them) but it won’t come off that way to them...they’ll just think that you’re playing coy and teasing them. your person will be eye-fucking you a lot, i can see them sitting across from you just looking you up and down…locking in on your legs — they’ll really love your legs. “you’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you. you’d be like heaven to touch.” just started playing in my mind. awww your person is very sensual 😩 and as much as they want to have you…they’ll be patient. they want to make sure you feel comfortable. all i need by lloyd just came to mind, “get up on it. i’m so horny and i want it. so get up on this, get up on the dick.” LMFAOOOO ik i said they'll be patient but i’m ngl they'll be internally tussling with themselves because they’re used to just getting what they want and people falling for them at the drop of a dime, but you make them work hard for it. i can see you two having a heavy make-out session before they drop you off home and then you pull away and you're like BYE 😘👋☺️ and they'll just be sitting there with their mind racing a mile per minute like FUCK?????? lmfaooooooooooo my gosh you will rile them up so bad pile 1. i feel like there will be a height difference between you two or an age gap. they could be older than you! you give them butterflies <3 they think they’re making you soo nervous/giddy inside (and they are) but you hide it a little better than they do. after every interaction with them you’ll feel all mushy inside hehe and you’ll be able to tell that you make them nervous. they’re just blown away by how beautiful, hot and how well-put together you are. i can see you talking and they’re just watching your mouth move like 👁️👁️ LMFAOOO bye pile 1. they’re feenin’ for you.

pile 2 🪡 —

“i just wanna live in a fantasy. i think we deserve it, right? top all the memories. i’ve ever made in my life.”

oouu this is my pile that doesn't take shit from nobody, okayyyy! hi pile 2 welcome to your reading <3 i can already tell that your person loves how you carry yourself. you do not allow many people to have access to you, and when you do, people can’t help but feel special inside because you have such a ✨big✨ presence. you may not take your person very serious at first. they have youthful/playful energy while you have a very disciplined and mature demeanor. that’s what will make them so attracted to you; how you're always on your shit…there's no cutting corners with you, you do not have time for the games and they will respect that. there's something about your lips that they love. you might have a defined cupid’s bow like rihanna or maybe they just like how cute and soft they are; especially after they just got done kissing you. i see them teasing you and slightly biting your bottom lip after they pull away from the kiss 🥵 ugh don’t count them out pile 2. they might have youthful energy but they're a pro when it comes to seduction lol you both are similar in a sense — you both want something serious and passionate with a hint of playfulness. they'll loveeeee watching you get ready! like i can see you standing in front of a mirror, in a rush to make yourself look presentable and they're just laying back on the bed…giving you the look. just ready to POUNCE. whew pile 2! this person’s love language might also be physical touch, cause they’ll be fighting the urge to squeeze your ass or constantly have their hand on your lower back. you’ll secretly love all their physical affection though hehe.

pile 3 🔪 —

“out of breath, take it slow. i wanna feel it in my soul. yeah, i know you love it when i’m on top. gotta keep it going, baby. don’t stop.”

heyyyy pile 3 🤗 i’m immediately hearing that you have a way with words. you know exactly what buttons to push to get your person aroused mhm! your person knows your worth just as much as you do, they’ll put you on a pedestal and treat you with so much care and devotion. they may have a worship kink? i see a bedroom setting — lightly-dimmed, candles lit, red rose petals on the floor and they’re slowly taking your shoes off for you…their hands trailing up your bare legs slowly 🥵 OKAYYYY pile 3! the sexual attraction is strong in this one wow. that scene from the wolf of wall street where naomi (margot robbie) and jordan (leo dicaprio) are on a date and naomi is giving him the fuck me eyes while saying “aren’t you married?” is coming to mind. now i don’t feel like there’s any third parties/cheating involved…you two just might be into role-playing. like i can see them booking a spontaneous getaway trip for the two of you & y’all just slut each other out and explore each other’s wildest fantasies the whole time 🤭 you both know how and what will make the other person tick; i can see them teasing you a lot in public. a lot of dirty talk in your ear, hand on the back of your neck gently squeezing and kisses. they were never really like this in their previous relationship(s) but you bring out a whole different side of them. agora hills by doja cat just started playing, “kissing and hope they caught us, whether they like or not. i wanna show you off. i wanna show you off.” THEY REALLY DO, PILE 3. they can't believe they bagged you…every-time they look at you they’re in awe.

[moe-broey]

I HAVE. SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS. I am STRUGGLING. To find The Words. But you capture it all so brilliantly, Same Divine Visions.... just more aptly put. But I am thinking about this all of the time!!!!

I think about the stark contrast, between the way the Summoner speaks vs how any given Hero speaks. More often than not, you can tell who came from what background -- the royals carry themselves a certain way, those who have close connections to royalty (retainers, knights, ect) carry themselves a certain way, and you can spot someone from a common background pretty easily. But even then, Kiran stands out as an anomaly. Because they don't come from Fantasy Medieval Class System, they come from a modern world. Which still has a class system but WE GOTTA STAY ON TOPIC. MAIN POINT! Kiran is fucking weird because they come from a system that's completely alien to what any given Hero is familiar with, that Seems universal across any world the Order stumbles into or pulls Heroes from (nearly all of them set in the fantasy medieval world, with some exceptions!)

ANOTHER POINT. I am always thinking about. You captured it really well, saying it's almost like a dialect! And also, all the Heroes lacking the cultural context as to why Kiran talks like that, and ALSO. This is the biggest thing I wanted to talk about!!!! The differences, in speech patterns, and phrases/idioms that don't translate very well. Something you could say to anyone here, and most likely they'd recognize immediately what you're talking about and what you mean when you say it. Like saying, "I lost my train of thought", or "Some wires must have got crossed", or maybe you compare a physically unpleasant groggy feeling to feeling "jetlagged". What's a "train"? "Wires"? What do you even make of the word "jetlagged". HERE'S the thing... I don't think whoever Kiran is talking to, (Alfonse, as an example here?) would ask for clarification Every Single Time they say something like that. He might! But in the moment, he might choose to try and pick up on context clues, instead. What is the core of what my friend seems to be communicating to me, here? He can put it together, even if there's blank spots. Just like you could, if you heard a phrase or word, you've never heard before.

But in the event that Alfonse DOES ask, "What is a train?" I think it hits Kiran. Like a truck. Or perhaps a train. Very suddenly, Kiran is EXTREMELY reminded of the fact that they are so far from home. The profound sense of isolation that comes with that. Literally, worlds apart. THAT'S WHAT I'M ALWAYS THINKING OF.... the unique form of isolation, Kiran must feel. The only other characters who may know exactly what they mean are the Tokyo Mirage Session guys. And there's like four of them. One of them is a baby.

Now add some Weirdness in there. Add some referential humor. Add a dash of being chronically online. Add possibly having a wealth of knowledge about something so specific and niche that's completely and utterly inapplicable to anything in Askr. Add some Oddities that may be unique to That Specific Summoner themselves, shit that would get them flagged as a fucking weirdo even in their OWN world. This is just SUCH a funny concept to me... as anyone who Isn't The Summoner, you just have to play the guessing game of Is This Just A Cultural Gap Or At Least Common Knowledge In Your World, OR Is The Summoner Just A Fucking Weirdo. Because, in my Summoner's case anyway, it is. It very much is.

I am ALSO always thinking about the insane amount of power dropped into the Summoner's lap, how in the WORLD are they meant to use this ethically, ect ect ect. I have no notes/additions there, you've absolutely captured the core of what I'm always thinking! Can somebody like, get this guy a coffee or something. Maybe some tea or hot cocoa, if the jitters are gonna kill them. Badly.

What do u think Kiran is

How do u think the order sees kiran

*slowly sits up in my chair*

I think Kiran is a very normal person. This is someone you and I have met before. Be that from the other side of grocery store cashier, waiting in the same elevator, or walking by on a crosswalk. Kiran is a civilian from our world trying to roll with the punches of being warped somewhere completely alien. And you can see it in how they conduct themselves.

I always have a lot of fun writing Kiran’s dialogue because their casual modern speech almost feels like a dialect in comparison to the more formal fantasy tone everyone else speaks with. An “ain’t” will never exit Alfonse’s mouth, you know? And there’s a difference in “Do you have gold?” vs “You got gold?” To me, this gives Kiran an air of unfamiliarity to anyone they interact with. Let’s use Grima as an example, because it doesn’t sound like this grammatical change would make much of difference until Kiran has the audacity to hit Grima with a bro mid sentence. But that’s just how they talk. And as sweet and friendly as they are, there’s always moments like that to remind that no one has the cultural context to fully understand Kiran. Except for the audience, who can realize that Kiran let the customer service voice drop to talk to Grima like he’s an actual person.

And that’s just about how they talk! This view is only emphasized by every other thing about them! They’re a lovable goof, which is normal chill person behavior in the audience’s eyes but feels REALLY ODD to the characters of FE’s medieval fantasy war setting. There is this air of unknown about them that the more socially perceptive will pick up on and will try to come to a conclusion about. Example, I imagine Soren would interpret a lot of this as a dangerous and deeply annoying lack of intelligence from someone he has the displeasure of sharing a tactics table with. Or looping back to the Grima example, he would totally think Kiran has greedy ulterior motives behind that pleasant facade. It takes a lot of work for those types to realize that the discrepancy present isn’t really any of those things. But I also wouldn’t be too surprised if Kiran doesn’t try to directly prove any of those assumptions wrong unless they have to.

Why? Well now it’s time for the implications! Oh how we love the implications.

Because the Summoner is a different story. No one has any fucking clue what that is.

I can tell you what Kiran has pieced together so far. Summoning people from across time and space is apparently not easy. It’s not some school of magical study that some mage could pull off with enough time and research. Trust, Eitri tried. It’s a lot of complex moving parts. For example, the contracts. The contracts Kiran automatically binds their summoned to don’t even compare to the ones Veronica used in book 1. They are far more intense and infinitely harder to break. The only way out of them is if Kiran wills it so. Not even death is an option, because Kiran can come in for the revive. If they had to guess, it’s an older, more completed version of the art. Something lost to time. But no matter the case, Kiran has the ability to take full control of whoever they manage to summon. From a lowly farmer to the divine. And their power only grows.

In a similar vein, if there was any character to canonically see the hud, I think it would be Kiran. It’s genuinely part of their power set. I have previously described Kiran as the party mage until Veronica shows up to be the actual mage, but it would be way more accurate to call them a mystic/seer. They see the map, everyone’s stats, and is doing a fast amount of math to give the combat forecast. Then, upon processing all this information their enemies couldn’t dream of having at their disposal, Kiran can telepathically communicate any change in plans to anyone under contract. Kiran is not inherently some great tactician the moment they touch ground in Askr; they simply can do things no one else can. They’re learning the actual tactics part on the fly. This makes them simultaneously the largest ace up the Order’s sleeve and potentially its biggest liability. If they fall, it could cause a whole system cascade. By that same token, some of the biggest threats the Order has faced are the ones who do their research and rightfully target Kiran.

Now. Thinking critically about all that. That’s downright terrifying. A ridiculous amount of power has been dropped callously into Kiran’s lap and they have to work extremely hard to be moral with it. It’s terrifyingly easy not to be. It would actively take less effort to ‘take the reins’ as it were. But in order to be able to sleep at night ever again, they go the extra mile to not invalidate the will of their summoned. To take over like that. To make a colony of worker bees out of people. Because oh dear god they just summoned a child and the fact that they could easily force them to fight and die for them, only to be revived and do it all over again, is HAUNTING. No. No the Order has an in house orphanage now. This kid is getting adopted and cared for god damnit or Kiran might just pop a blood vessel. And sure that child is going to be a child and there will never be a world where they get along with everyone else, but that’s just going to need be a problem they address when they get there and not an excuse to use Hubris; the power set. Now replace the word child with everyone they ever summoned and you have the wider philosophy they apply to the entire Order.

They’re hyper aware of the power imbalance. They hate it with every bone in their body. They work really hard to correct it in whatever way they can.

So Kiran might not jump on the opportunity to correct those who think lesser of them. It’s… oddly comforting to know someone is keeping a critical eye on them. Holding them accountable. Especially since so much of the order just thinks of them as this quirky yet well meaning host. And, really, what can they even do about that? They have gone over the contract with every hero they summon and despite that they still choose to stay. So, what, do they try to inspire more mistrust? The problem with that they would have to actually do acts that intentionally inspire mistrust. And even if that was successful they can’t just waste the extra man power because every other month there’s some new divine asshole who wants them all dead. And if they fail that means they have to start their life from square one and god they can’t do that again so—

Just breathe Kiran.

It’s fine. You’re fine. Just breathe.

You have work to do.

[star-suh]

Straight as A Line

Park Jinyoung x Male Reader

cw: homophobic top jinyoung, rough sex, dubious consent, hickeys, college au, swearing at each other, cheating, feminization, porn with a little of plot, a redemption arc for jinyoung lol… 

an: lmfaoooo that redemption arc happened when my music suddenly changed to lana del rey's songs changing the whole mood, i'm so sorry if this isn't what you wanted anon 😭🙏

this was a request.

—

the university where y/n was studying was planning a trip to go camping in the mountains. it was a dream trip for y/n, he could be close to nature and breathe that pure fresh air but all that sounded too nice to be true. 

"i don't know if i want to go on the trip, fuckass jinyoung is going and i don't feel like arguing with that son of a bitch" y/n tells his friend. 

jinyoung is one of those rich guys who have a lot of ass-lickers behind them, they do whatever he asks just for the money, also the guy is a fucking homophobe, when he found out that y/n is gay he started to make his life miserable. throwing slurs and swearing almost everyday towards the guy…

every student had an assigned seat “are we in school or something?” mocked jinyoung, his smile slowly fading seeing that he has to sit besides y/n “what the fuck? who put this pillow muncher beside me?” he yelled, “can you just shut the fuck up? you're not that important dude no one cares where you sit stop being a manchild” responded y/n making jinyoung's blood boil in anger.

“listen here, cocksucker. i don't want people like you near me you disgust me” he spat while signaling towards y/n with one finger. “stop signaling me you weirdo. you know that usually men who make fun of someone who is gay do it to cover up their homosexuality .. like why are you mad about me sucking a dick that's not so straight from you, jinyoung..” a grimace of laughter finding its way onto y/n's face while jinyoung's was red for the anger, y/n swear he can see the steam coming out of his ears.

jinyoung quietly accepted he lost this time and sat beside y/n ‘this is not going to stay like this’ he thought, crafting his revenge towards the guy.

it was night already, all the tents are ready and everyone is going inside them, y/n was getting ready to sleep in his sleeping bag when suddenly the zipper of his tent opens “what the fu-” a big hand covering his mouth to prevent him from making any noises. “hello motherfucker” jinyoung smiled “you thought i forgot what you said on the bus dirty whore? i think someone should teach you manners and how to be a nice obedient bitch, what do you think?”.

managing to get away from the strong grip of jinyoung's hand on his mouth y/n says “what the fuck are you talking about you fucking psycho, get out of my fucking tent before i start to scream”.

jinyoung's big veiny hand found its way towards y/n neck squeezing it hard “do it and what i'm gonna do next it's gonna be worse, you hear me?” scared by how menacing the words came out of his mouth y/n just nodded, “what do you want then, a public apology?. fucking asshole”.

“you see.. i was talking with my girlfriend and i got so horny-”, “and? do i look like some type of… friend to you? i don't wanna know shit about it” interrupted y/n. “anyways as i said” jinyoung continued “i'm so bricked that my dick is poking his way out of my shorts, so i was looking for a way to calm it but the rest of the bitches are sleeping and apparently you're the only one bitch awake so… i thought why not use this opportunity to help you be my obedient slut. after all you like cocks” he slapped gently y/n's cheeks. “fuck you” are the only words coming out of y/n's mouth…

“shh be quiet” whispered jinyoung while forcing his cock down y/n's throat, the gagging sounds making him more horny “you're so talented at cocksucking, truly a whore. you do it better than my girlfriend” he snickered while thrusting his thick cock. 

“never thought i would see you this fucked up” jinyoung was stroking his cock while y/n was laying down panting, trying to catch his breath, with spit and cum covering his face “talking about dirty whores when you can't keep that thing inside your pants. coming here like a needy bitch looking for a hole to fuck”.

jinyoung just stared at y/n with a smirk on his face “i'm not done with you slut, look at this” he pokes his rock hard cock making it bounce a little “i'm gonna wreck your boypussy. come here” his hand snaking around y/n's shorts and discarding them quickly, along with the underwear. “leave me alone whore” y/n tried to push jinyoung with his feet but the bastard was so strong… and sexy.

jinyoung spat on his fingers and rub it on y/n's rim the cold fluid sending shivers up his spine “hngh.. stop it manwhore…” the pleasure clouding his thinking. jinyoung slap his fuckmeat on the rim and slowly introduce it, drawing a loud moan grom y/n due to the stretching “shush be quiet. you don't want someone to find us right? or is that what you want? woah what a pervert” y/n just ignored the comment and sucked on jinyoung's fingers.

“is that all you got, fragile masculinity slut?. not gonna be surprised if your girlfriend kicks you, you suck at fucki-” a slap landed on y/n's cheek. “stop being a loud motherfucker and let me fuck your pussy” his anger being canalized into fucking y/n “i don't give a fuck if you like it or not” he growls “i’m only here to use you like you let other men do”.

“fuck i love the sight of your gaping pussy. after being passed around the whole university is still so tight… even more than my girlfriend's”. “can you stop mentioning her you asshole?. she deserves a better man than you” y/n says, accommodating himself to ride jinyoung “let's get this over with, i want you gone”.

everytime he goes down y/n makes sure to do it hard causing jinyoung to moan very loudly, “look who's the loud bitch now. you call yourself a man and can't even handle me”. jinyoung laughed quickly grabbing y/n by his ankles pulling them towards him folding y/n in the process, his dick going in and out. y/n squirmed, his eyes rolled back and mouth agape, feeling that cock reaching so deep inside him, no other cock has made him feel like that.

“what happened pillow muncher.. too much to handle?” he starts sucking hickeys in the back of y/n's neck. “i'm gonna breed this pussy and after this you're gonna be mine you hear me?” he whispered while flipping y/n a fuck him while he leans on his back “no… i don't belong to.. to anyone not even to a loser like you” the older just ignored it and continued looking for his pleasure.

“guess you're not that straight macho after all” y/n murmured drawing jinyoung's attention, “just because i'm stretching your boypussy and about to cream it right now doesn't make me a homo… i'm straight as a line..”. y/n with his hooded eyes make eye contact with the top, smiled and caressed his cheek “even the straightest line can be curved dumbass” he then kisses his forehead “c'mon cream this fucking pussy… isn't this what you want hurry up before someone wakes up” fucking himself in jinyoung's dick y/n also searched for his pleasure his cock splurting with cum minutes later landing on jinyoung's chest and abs, while that happened he squeezed so hard that jinyoung came without realizing it, emptying his balls in the insatiable hole of y/n. 

jinyoung tried to catch his breath resting his head on y/n's chest falling asleep, followed by y/n minutes later.

the ride back to university was surprisingly quiet, jinyoung didn't say a word about sitting next to y/n, everyone was surprised. one by one they got off the bus with jinyoung and y/n being the last, the tall one grabbed the shorter one by the hand so that he wouldn't come down yet. "i'm going to break up with my girlfriend... what i’m doing with her is not right." "wow, at least there's some empathy inside that empty skull" y/n responded. jinyoung just laughed looking at y/n with a fond smile "sigh... i'm so sorry for what i’ve put you through all these years... i know that's not going to change the damage i've already done but i want to start being a good person… wanna go eat lunch? it's on me".

surprised by the sudden change y/n wondered what happened with him last night “are you okay? did you eat something strange this morning?”. “no fucking asshole i just… i just wanted to change my behaviour… you know if the straightest line can be curved that means that we can change and it's never too late to do it” y/n just stared at him dumbfounded “are you being serious right now? are you philosophizing over a silly phrase i just made up…ugh fucking corny anyways is free food and i can't say no to that so text me where is it and see you there. i guess..” y/n was about to get off but turned around, stood up and pet jinyoung's head, a slight blush covering his cheeks. jinyoung just stood there watching y/n get off the bus with a smile slowly forming in his face.

[etheries1015]

I was thinking- what if Vil does one of those celebrity documentaries when he's older? He's settled down with you, you have kids, his career is still going good. He'll talk about when you guys decided to settle down and have kids (the home video clips of him loving his kids 🥲). They'll sit you down and you just radiate loving housewife energy and someone will sneakily catch on camera Vil looking at you so softly while you're recording your part. Him admitting his problems with Neige (and the team interviewed him too but he still has no idea about Vil's true feelings), how he always wanted a role outside of being a villain. Rook having his own interviews being his usual self but also suddenly showing up in your home during filming. Epel wanting to get in on it to kinda reveal the bs Vil made him put up with (and Vil just chuckles cause he still knows he was right) and to promote the farm. And then Vil mentions how he owes Malleus favors (does he reveal he overblotted?). Cue the screen suddenly showing Malleus sitting comfortably in a chair and smiling smugly. And then you notice he's in your home. And he's just like, "Oh, yes. I did Schonheit some favors back then." And it shows some backstage footage of the film crew wondering if they should even try and contact THE Malleus Dragonia to get an interview, and if they do if they actually have the guts to. But before they can decide you pull up, "Oh? You wanna talk to Mal? Let me ask him!" And you just speed dial him and ask and once you hang up he's magically poofed into your home for the interview. He doesn't mind talking about Vil and you but also sneaks in some gargoyle stuff. There's also extra footage of your still young kids hearing Mal is here and running up to him, "Uncle Mal~!!" And you, Vil, Mal, and the kids having a small tea break.

Oh man, what're you doing dropping this beautiful piece in my inbox when you should post it on your page and get the attention it deserves?? Because this is ADORABLE and AMAZING! All the ideas you threw out in here were so cute, Vil finally having the confidence to talk about you and his family, his carreer as a total...plus that Malleus blurb LMFAOOOO, When you're asked what person in your school years affected you most other than Vil or what friends you had that were most prominent, you say "Oh, Malleus Draconia! I think he's king of brair valley right now, though."

Everyone just stares at you in shock, but Vil kinda like "You have his number, right? Call him over." (He did it for the drama...he thought it would be funny for the documentary, and he was right. It became the most replayed part of the entire section.)

AND YOUR KIDS WITH VIL TALKING AND HANGING OUT WITH MALLEUS LIKE OL' CHUMS IS SO ADORABLE. When Malleus comes over, he always has some sort of riches or treasures for your children. He's constantly playing with them. He's your go-to baby sitter and he LOVES it. You being best friends with Malleus while married with Vil HAS to be my favorite thing about ALL OF THIS. It's so adorable i'm sobbing crying shaking throwing up.

The home clips...oh my gosh i'm so soft. YES!! Imagine when the documentary gets released, so many people point out places that they noticed Rook was in the background in the videos when you didn't see them before. It was insane, an entire conspiracy theory trend came out of it.

I like to think you have home videos of VIL being the housewife, cooking in his "Kiss the queen" Apron while holding one of your children on his side and using a spatula to flip the pancakes with the other. He had no idea you released this to the director, it came a shock to him when there was a section of the documentary dedicated to how you felt being married and having kids with one of the worlds biggest stars. He probably cried a little about it, ngl.

PLEASE I IMPLORE YOU reveal yourself!! Or post this!! Because it's such a cute idea and I think you truly deserve the rightful attention! But thank you for sharing, this was such a fun read and I enjoyed exploring / expanding more on it heuheuheu.

[valverii]

your switch chuuya looks like if i licked him i'd taste pumpkin spice

TOO TRUE LMFAOOOO and bc that spurned me into associating drinks switch!skk, dazai is dark hot cocoa :))

[chaosology]

bunny

—sam kerr x reader | social media!au

based off this request, i hope it's okkkk - Sam and reader cekebrate CNY together.

sam masterlist

liked by samanthakerr20, maryfowlerr and 17,834 others

y/n_kerr nobody told me having a kid meant them getting all the good stuff… what have we done?

samanthakerr20 complaining like she wasn’t swimming in red envelopes earlier! 🙄

y/n_kerr did i ask? 🤨 shhhhh

y/nismommy so true but at least ur a milf

samkerrupdates Happy CNY you guys! 🫶

caitlinfoord 😭😭😭

liked by macca.thegoat, deuxmoi and 392 others

samkerrupdates Sam in Y/N’s younger sister’s story! Celebrating with her family for the upcoming new year, I wonder if we’ll get some baby content 👀

y/nfloral omggg the first one i’m crying it's so cute

iheartchelseagirls tell me how i know for a fact her ass can’t properly fold the dumplings

tilliesmylove the zoom on sam lmfaoooo

y/narchives is this in perth?

samkerrupdates pretty sure, yes! both their families live there

liked by y/n_kerr, maryfowlerr and 13,599 others

samanthakerr20 when you chuck a fit every time mum puts you in red so now you just have to go as the rabbit instead 😍

charli_grant Omgggggg

kerrkerrkerr everytime i am reminded she has a kid i fall further in love

y/nfloral that's MOTHER fr

stephcatley Where's my invite?

y/n_kerr stop exploiting our child and get in the car samantha 🙄

samanthakerr20 brave words from the girl who just asked for another 😩

liked by samanthakerr20, roxannekerr20 and 19,028 others

y/n_kerr cny dump 🐇 🧧 🌃

samanthakerr20 ❤️❤️

kerrkerrkerr u guys r too cute !!

maryfowlermarryme that should be me wtf guys

roxannekerr20 Love you three!

y/n_kerr ❤️

[prettypinkporkchop]

Hello, can you do Embry x Reader. Where they are hanging out with the pack and Emily cousin. Claire sat on Reader’s lap and hugging her and Reader hugged her back. Emily smiled and in awe including Sam. When it was late night, Reader started to notice that Claire is tired so she asked Emily can she take her to bed upstairs. Emily says yes. After that, Reader took Claire to her room and put her bed but Claire was still awake. So Reader started to sing like harmony and hitting notes but soft. When she started to sing the pack heard her because of super hearing and then they went to upstairs then Sam, Paul and Embry with the pack opened the door and saw Reader singing amazing. Embry was shocked and impressed. Sam was impressed into especially Paul. When he said damn. Emily saw it too. After that Reader walked out the door and the. Embry told her that was amazing and she got embarrassed.

"Wow! She really likes you." Emily smiles at you. Claire is on your lap with her arms wrapped around your neck. You have your arms wrapped around her and making funny faces with her, causing her to giggle.

Embry is staring at you. Now, he needs to marry you asap. He's been thinking about it for a long time now, but he's been so scared! Paul keeps urging him and making fun of his nervousness.

You look up and see Emily, Sam, Embry, and Kim staring at you in awe. Sam places a hand on Emily's thigh and looks at her with a sweet smile. "Guys." You laugh awkwardly.

After a few hours, you guys play a movie for her. Everyone is hanging out and roaming around while Claire is up your ass. You don't mind. This has you melting. You adore kids and want one of your own! She starts yawning. You rub your head. "You want to go to bed?" You ask her. She nods and then clings onto you. You lift her up, her head in your neck. You carry her toward Emily. "Hey, can I take her to bed?" You softly ask. Emily smiles and looks at Embry, who is just daydreaming. "Yes." She looks back at you.

You carry her to the spare bedroom and lay her in the bed. "Alright, baby. There you go." You whisper. You turn on the little nightlight in the wall and turn off the big light. You sit on the chair next to the bed to make sure she falls asleep before you leave.

A few minutes pass, and she's still playing with the stuffed animal that was in bed. You think of what to do and then catch an idea!

"Constant as the stars above

Always know that you are loved

And my love shining in you

Will help you make your dreams come true

Will help your dreams come true"

(LMFAOOOO BARBIE!)

You sing quietly and softly. She's out by now, but you continue to sing just to be sure. But, you hear the door behind you slightly open, causing you to jump and look at the door. There Emily and Sam stand with their mouths agape. You blush and sigh, standing up and stepping out of the room. "Really?!" You giggle. "That was so beautiful! You have an amazing voice!" Emily gushes. "Thank you, Emily." You smile and then walk down the hall. You see Embry standing there with this face:

He steps closer to you and wraps his arms around your waist, looking down at you. "Your voice is just as beautiful as your face, my girl. I am so marrying you." He smiles. You blush deep red and cover your face. "Nuh uh." He takes your hands, pulling them away and smashing his lips on yours. You kiss him back and hold the back of his head.

"Stop, you gross bitches." You pull away and see Jared with a face of disgust. "By the way, nice voice!" He points and then walks into the bathroom. "Oh god." You laugh and look at Embry, your beautiful and perfect imprint.

[gloriousburden]

i found ur blog like yesterday night while i was half asleep searching for idk what tag or user and one of ur takes came up, abt how u find fanfics where he's called daddy ooc and i just really agreed and i found it rare and refreshing that ur like a younger fan/gen z, like me. i was 19 not too long ago and i feel like all the younger loki fans tend to see him as some random dudebro, especially the way they get rid of his archaic manner of speaking, suddenly hes all "gonna" "wanna" lol, i get the ick especially when he says "babe" or "baby"...anyways my point is i rlly like ur acc and ur takes, and im not often on tumblr and kind timid tbh so im now a new anon on here! -nonie (idk what emoji to use for myself ahaaa)

Hi Nonie I love you 💜

Yeah, I’m 18, but I find myself completely disagreeing with a lot of the takes that Loki fans my age make. I find myself agreeing more with older/OG fans, which is why I stick to Tumblr.

That is so fucking true LMFAOOOO. I really can’t stand the way younger Loki fans see him as if he is modern human/a dudebro and not an ancient god based off of Norse Mythology. His ass would NOTTTTTT want to be called daddy. His ass would not call you “baby”/“babe.”

like I really fell in love with Loki because he was so different and was so unique from other characters. What made him stand out? Obviously how well he was written, but.. also how he was played. The way he spoke. The Shakespearean manner… AHHHHHH 😭❤️ he is really the love of my life omg 😞❤️

Younger fans tend to have the worst takes on him ever because I guess he’s one of the first fictional characters they’re getting into, and he’s pretty complex when compared to other characters so you get “Erm. He’s so innocent and never wanted to hurt anyone ever 😞” and “Also guys… he’s 17 and speaks like an anime character..” 😀

Which honestly, I actually don’t get why. I was quite young when I became a Loki fan, and I understood his character even then. Hmm, maybe some of us are just blessed with that ability idk…

I’ve always hated the fanon impression of Loki. Like did we watch the same movies? Please leave Loki alone and find another character if you’re going to mischaracterize him that much. That’s not even Loki anymore. We’ve been blessed with such an interesting and complex character, and people try and make him into something he never was.

Like why is he an Avenger who speaks like an anime character and is a daddy dom WE ARE LOSING THE PLOT! WE HAVE LOST EVERY ASPECT OF THE PLOT!

Whenever I watch any of the movies Loki is in and he speaks in such an archaic manner… AHHH *bursts into tears* he’s just everything to me. I love how he speaks and I understand that it’s hard to write it when compared to a character who speaks in a more modern manner (which tbh is why I don’t really post fics LOL), but you can at least try to keep it a little accurate 😞 AT LEAST HAVE HIM SPEAK LIKE A POSH BRIT RATHER THAN AN AMERICAN!!!

MY SHAKESPEAREAN MELODRAMATIC LOVE OF MY LIFE 😭😭😭😭😭

TikTok is hell. I don’t know if it’s because they’re not as serious about Loki as I and others are, or if it’s because they’re younger, but… the takes that they have on him are horrendous. The headcanons… the ignorance… the taking fanon as canon… the misinformation… confusing OG Loki with TVA Loki…

Loki kind of has the worst fanbase ever, I’m not going to lie.

Also his ass would not listen to Taylor Swift. JUST PUTTING THAT OUT THERE!

[t-surewhynot]

I have a group chat and we had a discussion about my recent gender identity crisis. For some context, these are all supportive people I've known for years.

Me: yea idk what my gender is atp bro

Winks: dude u a dude or not?

Me: lol ive always been a dude

Kay: T idc who you are you know this as long as your mine

Winks: corny ass

Kyle: Cringe lmfao

Me: imma kill you winks

Me: you too ky

Kay: :P

Winks: oh no the shortest person's going to attack me whatever will i do

Me: see this is why i need to be a dude i need to take your balls

Winks: lmfaoooo

Rachel: tf did i walk into lmfao

Kyle: rach you gotta go t's having a crisis

Kay: T's having a panic attack

Me: ye that

Rachel: no balls?

Winks: me and kyle are bullying T

Rachel: T you a he or she

Me: idfk

Rachel: nb maybe?

Me: idk i'm a butch that's all i know

Kyle: Boy ❌ girl ❌ bro ✅

Me: Literally yes

Kay: my bae ✅

Rachel: nothin wrong with just not labeling yourself

Me: ah thanks pooks lyt

Me: yeah i've been told that but like idk about what pronouns i'm doing

Winks: bro we need a different gay expert we cant have the gayest person be having a fucking gay panic

Me: i'm not the gayest person rachel is

Kyle: nah winks gayest he kissed me while high

Winks: WTF

Rachel: LMFAOOO

Me: BRO WTF

Winks: I'M A FUCKIN KILL YOU BRO

Kay: kyle whaaaaat lol

Kyle: true story

Winks: I don remember that dude

Me: You were high lol

That's where I'm ending that conversation but it helped to have some friends to talk with. I talked with Rachel and Kay a bit later and we came to the same conclusion. I'm definetly lesbian and as for my gender, i'm just a butch. not trans, not cis, just there. As for pronouns, idgaf. she/her is prob what i'm going to go with irl since that's still what most people still call me but i really don't care what you call me online.

also Rachel wanted me to specify this, Winks and Kyle both go by he/him, Kay is she/her, and Rachel is she/they