#lmao the way she turned around and stuck her chest out

[st4rbwrry]

━━━ ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑠 & 𝑤𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑠 ♱ t.f

warnings 𑄽𑄺 4.6k. fem reader, lowercase intended, she/her pronouns, black coded, university setting, violence i.e fighting, readers obsessed & it's lowkey giving omega/alpha trope lmao, public sex at a skate park, running from police, oral [ m.], riding, titty sucking, praise, minors aren't allowed!

━━━ ꒰ 𝑚𝑜𝑐ℎ𝑎’𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑠 .ᐟ ꒱ ; this is a repost of one of my old fics so enjoy!

blood. it's seeped into the pearl white t-shirt of the man walking down the hall past you, dripping from his mouth, the look in his eyes careless as he held onto the strap of his backpack on his shoulder. to this day it felt like you were seeing him in slow motion. you could still hear how fast your heart paced, the intense eye contact between you two, your sneakers squeaking against the university's floors, hallway empty other than you, and the professor beside him.

his other hand was buried into his jean pockets, strolling with his chin up as if he wasn't phased by his injury, like he barely felt it. the dark-haired man burned his eyes into you, side-eyeing you and your skimpy cheer uniform, wanting to smirk at how entranced you were by him but couldn't given the pain on his face. for some reason you wanted so badly to ask if he was okay. clearly, he wasn't. the man had just been in a brutal fight where a student cut the side of his mouth with a switchblade. this you found out later in the day at lunch. people wouldn't stop talking about it. fushiguro, they called him. it was only his last name, simply because that's all people would refer to him as.

there was no explanation for your sudden infatuation for him. it was nonsensical. you never felt anything like that before, and you've only looked at him for literally no more than ten seconds. it was even more intense the moment you walked past each other, both of you looked back to catch another gaze for a few seconds, only you were too stunned, eyes widening and quickly whirling your head back around. he was suspended. why? he wasn't even the one to start the fight. since he had a reputation, it was easy for the school to see him as the bad apple. you actually despised the fact that the culprit who started the brawl was back in school only a week after while fushiguro remained absent.

i want to see him again. he's all you could think about. this town wasn't too big, so it's odd that you haven't gotten even a glimpse of him the entire two weeks he's been gone. not while walking the streets, not the mall where every person in town visited—then again he didn't seem like the type to do that. not the tattoo shop you worked at part time . . . nothing. friday comes around and you're stuck at work, the usual. since the shop you worked at didn't close until 2AM, your manager decided to let you out an hour early just to rest up for the weekend, thankfully off.

for some odd reason, you weren't tired, even after working a full week on top of dealing with courses and mastering cheer routines. balling the plaid black and white flannel your hands created sweater paws with tighter in your fist, you stroll peacefully down the sidewalks looking at the pretty city lights, blasting rock music until coming into view with an overnight bodega, wanting a few snacks for the night since you knew you were going to be up reading on your phone until possibly five in the morning.

you're greeted by the owner, smiling and waving, making sure to turn down your music to listen in on your surroundings. grabbing mostly chips and beef sticks, you hold all of your junk to your chest while making your way over to the refrigerators, needing a real drink since you haven't had one since jesus invented the calendar. trailing your fingers across the cool cans, you scrunch your face up at any budweiser, yards, or bud light. beer? hell no. wine sounded more like it. as you go to reach for a bottle, you catch a glimpse at a buff man at the front counter; midnight hair, all black clothing, knu skool vans, and a skateboard clutched between his right underarm hand. his items are being rung up, but you can't stop staring, squinting your eyes knowingly towards the stranger. why does he look so familiar?

"see you around, fushiguro," the man waves off, your eyes widening at the name, nearly tripping over a rack full of peanuts as you watch him nod once and exit the store, seeing the side of his face where his recent scar laid.

he's already out the store, and you rush to the counter, checking out after having to show your i.d. for the wine, saying goodnight as you snatch the clear plastic bag with a 'thanks!' and rush towards the mysterious man halfway down the block. he has his airpods in, so he doesn't hear how loud you're breathing or the thuds of your sneakers hitting the gravel. you practically bunny hop beside him making the insanely huge man jump a little, thick brows scrunching with annoyance at the inconvenience beside him. he pauses his music, never stopping his tracks as he continues to walk with you beside him.

"hey, stranger," you cheekily grin.

"hey," his voice is gruff, slightly scratchy. you clear your throat, ignoring the whiplash you were just given. "what are you doing out this late? pretty girls should be home around this time. it's not safe."

wow, protective already. you raise your brows at his sentence, slightly shocked he didn't tell you to fuck off—at least with that wording. wait, he called me pretty?!

"pretty girls have adult responsibilities. i just got off of work. besides, shouldn't reckless students be on house arrest around this time?"

he ignores you, so you come up with something else. "how's your scar?"

"it's a scar," he sighs.

"when will you be back in school?"

"not sure."

"in my opinion, i think that jackass dick sucker should get his shit kicked in. what fucktard cuts someone in the face?"

the man stops abruptly, causing you to let out an 'oof' as you bump into his side, the man giving you zero attention as he drops his skateboard on the ground to use, stepping onto it and begins to stroll away.

you drop your mouth open. "rude!"

"why are you talking to me?" he doesn't even have to yell, his voice is deep enough for you to still hear him. huffing, you jog towards him, trying your best to keep up with him.

"i like you!" you groan, irritated that he was being so ignorant, and that he was making you run in a goddamn skirt.

fushiguro laughs, and the reaction stuns you, as if he wasn't capable of such an action. "you don't know me. we go to the same uni, that doesn't make us friends."

"i'd like to be your friend, though, asshole."

"i don't need any friends."

"a girlfr—"

"no," he shuts down sternly, stopping at a walkway, looking both ways before crossing the street. you roll your eyes, chewing your inner cheek when you notice he's heading to a skate park just across the road, dark and empty, a few street lights illuminating just enough light for him to see the cemented ramps.

like he's getting away from talking to me that easily. you let a car pass by before rushing behind the muscular man, fushiguro seeing your presence once more and releasing an exasperated sigh. he just wanted to be alone. "guessing 'no' isn't in your vocabulary," he scowls, taking a seat at the edge of a ramp.

"no," you say, a cocky smile following.

he scoffs, digging into his grocery bag for a pack of skittles and a green apple flavored vape pen, laying on his back on the gravel to stare up at the moon, blowing out the vapor he sucked into his mouth. you pout your lips, taking a seat next to him, reaching into your bag for your wine, knocking a few sips down in silence.

"what's your deal?"

"i just find you interesting."

"no one talks to me. so why are you?"

"not even pretty girls like me?" biting your lip, you scan over his face, and it remains the same; stagnant. "i know there's women bowing at your feet to fuck you."

   toji rolls his eyes, a habit. "whoever i fuck is none of your concern."

   "so he's not a virgin, duly noted," you whisper to yourself.

   "name."

   "[♡]."

   "cute," is all he says before standing to his feet, taking one more puff out of his pen before grabbing his skateboard and positioning it on the ledge of the ramp, steadily dropping his foot and falling down. you watch him with fascination as he skates, laying your chin in your palms with your elbows on your knees, leaning in like an attentive child. he looked so pretty under the moonlight.

   this daydream ends when you notice a group of four men far behind bushes, titling your head to see them clearly. one of them, lanky with shoulder-length blonde hair, is seen handing the person before him a clear bag with tablets in them, and in return, gets cash. they're dealing drugs. minding your business, you turn your attention back to fushiguro whom notices this, and easily you can see the anger flash in his eyes as he jumps off his skateboard and lands on his feet beside you. it's not until the group of three approaches the two of you that you see why he's mad.

   the guy dealing drugs just so happened to be river, aka the asshole who slashed his face. he stalks closer with a nasty laugh, clicking his tongue as he keeps mainly his attention on the big man beside you. "fushiguro!"

   "toji," he corrects, not fond of people using his last name. toji, you repeat in your head. hot.

   "good to see you all healed."

   "healed is an understatement."

   awe shit, you just know some shit is going down. you gather yourself, standing nearby but not too far behind him.

   "the fuck do you want?" toji snarls, and you swallow your own lips, barricading an inappropriate sound.

   river holds up a few clear zip lock bags stashed with drugs from his hoodie pocket, jangling them with a grin. "selling the goods. do you want some? ohh, wait. that's rude of me, i forgot you lived in a household full of mentally unstable people who feen for drugs."

you couldn't help but fix your posture and stand in front of toji before he beat the asshole to a pulp. by all means, don't hesitate. but, you wanted your turn first. toji doesn't allow it to phase him, since he's heard similar things a million times. what's funny is that this kid barely knows him, yet he seemed to acquire so much intel on his life.

"watch your fucking mouth," you seethe, face close to his and fists balled up. "before i cut your tongue out, then what will you have to talk shit?"

"out the way, bitch," river snarls, his hand wrapping tightly around your arm to yanking you to the side. "none of this has to do with you."

murder could sum up the stone cold stare in toji's eyes, the man inhaling before kicking his skateboard away, emerging forward with his head slightly cocked to the side. until you make this direct back to you by standing back in between again, scowling up at river who's ready to strike you this time, but, doesn't have the chance as you ball your fist and punch him hard across his jaw, not once either. the second hit is an uppercut. then comes the finale; kneeing him in the dick where he stumbles to the ground with a strained grunt.

toji stares down at the back of your head with an impressed raise of his brow, an ounce of his anger sufficing.

"last thing i am is a bitch. i'll fuck you up if you say some stupid shit like that to me again. the fuck," you're not even half done, marching forward until toji grabs your forearm and stops you, whipping your head around to catch his gaze, telling you to chill out without saying it. really, he's amused. but this isn't your fight.

he crosses around you, crouching down to river's level, latching his hand around his collar and dragging him to his feet without any emotion implanted on his face. it's all in his eyes. he's pissed that he insulted you. furious that he scarred his perfectly imperfect face. the nerve.

"the only reason you're alive is because i couldn't kill you on school grounds. don't think you're getting away so easily after what you did to my fucking face."

punch. the hit is so hard it makes you jump, practically hearing the bones in river's nose crack as toji hits him again, and again, again. all in his face to make a point. he's bleeding excessively, his so called 'friends' waiting until he's half beaten to try in step in.

"step back unless you wanna get fucked up next," he points, voice ravenous, making the two men freeze nervously. you shift in your spot, pushing back the acknowledgment of dampness between your legs.

"like i was saying," toji sniffs, ducking when river makes a lousy attempt at throwing a punch, toji grabbing his wrist, balling it in his palm as if it were a piece of paper, twisting his arm as river screams. toji pins it behind his back, shoving him down on the ground where he then presses his right shoe on the side of his bruised face. "don't look so tough without your knife now, huh? you're stupid to even try that on someone you just met. you don't know me. you don't know where the fuck i'm from."

   "fuck. you," he spits out blood over toji's vans. you hold a hand over your heart dramatically, upset about him ruining his shoe. not so much about the fact that he's brutally assaulting a freshman, a kid. a kid whose also old enough to know right from wrong. he stepped into the wrong territory like an adult, so now, he'll get his ass whopped like one. he's lucky toji didn't press charges.

should i kill him? he wanted too, badly. the kid ruined his face, a scar impossible of fading into nothingness. it's there for life. he's an idiot kid. besides, he couldn't traumatize you like that. actually, he's scared you've seen worse. sighing, he picks the boy up once again and shoves him in the arms of his friends who weakly support him. river's sight is barely there, heaving over the gravel.

"i advise you not to cross my path, since i'm back tomorrow."

you gasp, catching everyone's attention. "you are?! oh my god."

toji's eyes widen the moment you squeal happily and jump into his arms, wrapping your legs around him. he's stuck, hands instinctively going to your waist, watching one of the guys before him turn beet red and quickly divert his attention to a tree. toji now realizes your skirt is riding up your ass, rolling his eyes and turning the other way, setting you down and tugging it back in its position with a clench of his jaw.

river stands from his feet, shoving away his friends and holding his gushing nose while staring dead at his partner who was beginning to grow a boner. he scoffs, disgusted. "tomato, quit acting like you don't jerk off to porn every week. it's just an ass."

"a nice one," the other says, boldly.

toji folds his arms across his chest, you mocking him by doing the same, waiting for the group to disperse. river, their wonderful leader, steps up to toji who ups his chin, ready to clock him, as if what he had gotten wasn't enough.

"this isn't over."

"yeah, they all say that. just make sure you take that advice seriously if you'd like to see another day," toji grits his teeth, river holding back his tongue, letting out a small 'tsk' before stumbling off with his posse.

"bitch ass," you mumble.

"enough," he snaps his finger in your face. you swallow, his hard stare and sudden closeness makes your stomach do backflips. fuck, he's so hot. "you're stupid for attacking him. he could've hurt you."

"stupid for standing up for myself? nah. as for him hurting me? you wouldn't have let that happen."

"says?" he sassed.

"i can see it in your eyes," toji's eyes divert to your plush lips, watching you move closer until you're chest to chest, feeling your hardened nipples graze him through your lace crop top. "you want me, therefore, you gotta keep your prize clean."

the sound of a switchblade catches him off guard, seeing you pull the weapon from your back, grabbing the bottom of your skirt and shredding off a long piece straight across.

"what are you doing?"

"your knuckles are bleeding," you say, tucking the blade away before grabbing his hand which he's stubborn on releasing strength before finally relaxing his hand, letting you bandage it. when you lower your lips to his palm, he feels his chest warm up, your teeth locking onto a piece of the fabric to pull the knot you made tighter. "all done."

you stroll away from him, taking a seat in your original position, wine and his skittles in your hand.

"hey, didn't you but your own shit?" he growls, stomping near you, the barbaric man so intriguing to toy with. he snatches them from you, sitting down and popping some into his mouth.

"share atleast." you pout.

he sighs. "hold out your palm."

giddy, you do as he says, toji pouring the contents into your hand, swinging your legs as you happily enjoy them.

"prize."

"huh?"

"it's what you said earlier. that i have to keep my prize clean. is that your way of saying you're rewarding me?"

"i think you're a cool ass person underneath that cold," you poke his chest. "quiet exterior. i salute you for not taking shit from so many people that look at you like a threat instead of a person. maybe i'm exaggerating, maybe i'm delusional, but . . . i feel like i see myself in you. or at-least the person i'm trying to become."

"vacant?" he jokes.

"admirable," you correct with a tiny smile, toji blinking. finishing your drink and tossing your head back, you hum contently from the feel of nighttime breeze. "from what i've heard, you deal with a lot, so i admire you for still being you aside from, you know, bullshit."

"that was sweet, i'm disgusted."

you hit his shoulder, sucking your teeth as he laughs wholeheartedly. he sits up, dark eyes hunting you like prey as you run your fingers through his straight hair, leaning closer to press a gentle kiss to his healing scar.

"i'll kill him for this," you fume silently, highly upset that a human being could do this to another. you knew it hurt like hell that day, he just didn't want to show it.

"it's nice to have someone care, i've never had that."

"me neither," those single pecks of kisses turn into multiple, the alcohol in your system giving you the balls to direct the situation, holding his face still in both your hands before gently kissing him. "let's care for each other."

toji grabs the back of your neck and pulls you in, opening his mouth to slip his tongue over yours, moaning through the pain on his face and deepening the kiss, free hand groping your ass over the thin black skirt you wore, thighs covered in fishnet stockings. you exhale, disconnecting your lips, licking them to relinquish the taste of him, desire fueling you completely. you sit on your knees, ignoring the pain of the concrete, deciding to shrug off your flannel and bundle it up beneath you; substitute for a pillow.

he's gawking at you like a hawk, groaning as you trail your lips over his neck, kissing, sucking, all while unzipping his jeans and pulling his heavy cock out, brick hard for a good minute now. it rose when you told him you'd kill river just for cutting his face. couldn't help it.

"been thinkin' about you all week," your head lowers, and his skin prickles with heat the moment those full lips encase his cock. you whimper with satisfaction before wrapping your dainty fingers around, barely fitting.

"me fuckin' too," his jaw drops, tossing his head back while leading his hand to your head to gently guide you, hissing once he easily hits the back of your throat that compresses around him salaciously. he hasn't gotten head in a while, almost forgot how good it felt. so much better than his hand. you moan from the approval, gyrating your hips in the air after feeling how soaked you were. your head bobs and your lips glide to his exact desire.

his thigh twitches the more you gag or swallow him down, a lewd pop sounding the empty park as you kiss along the underside where a prominent vein pulsates, sensually kissing at his tip, slicking the point of your tongue between his slit which makes him gasp, the sensation ticklish. you took pleasure in giving men head, making you drunk off it every time.

"ooh, fuck," toji throws his head back, slowly thrusting up into your mouth, hearing him hit into your throat, pupils flipping white. you moan when he whispers 'baby' or whimpers out a 'stay here' before holding your head down for a second or two, keeping that warmth around his cock a little longer, letting you go and to his surprise, not coughing.

you leave your tongue to drool over his tip, licking your swollen lips before hiking up your skirt, toji holding the back of your thighs as you arch above him, chest in his face, gasping as he latches his mouth over your nipple through your shirt. tearing open your stockings, imbedding his fingers into your skin, so fucking soft it makes his dick jump. you smelt nice, you looked pretty, you made him feel good . . . a prize indeed.

  arching your back, you keep your left knee to the ground while your right foot remains flat, leg bent as you lift your ass and slick your entrance over his timid head, biting hard on your lower lip as you sink yourself down, clenching tight. the burn is pleasurable, so fucking thick you weren't sure if he'd even fit.

"you can do it, be gracious. aren't you rewarding me?" toji drags his teeth over your neck, behind your ear, clasping your hair once again. he's right, you totally can. it's just been a while since you've had anything remotely close to his size. you slowly work your hips to accommodate him, shuttering the lower you reach, taking a minute until he's somewhat in.

"feel that? how deep i am?" he taunts, hands gripping your hips to sink you down entirely, closing his eyes in bliss. you cry out.

toji finds it amusing that you're so fussy and talkative while engaging in conversation, but when he's smacking your ass and grunting by your ear each time you drop your ass down onto his jean covered thighs, grinding on his cock pruriently, you're not much of a shit talker. instead, you're sensitive, extremely. he rushes his fingers over your clit; you're crying. he pulls your hair; you're whimpering. he tongues your nipples over your top; you're screaming. he couldn't think properly. he's done this plenty of times, many women. with you, it's different. is it because there's an actual connection? he's fond of you. how the fuck was that possible after being in your presence for only two hours?

"yes, yes, yes," the deluge of whines makes the black haired man spellbound. your nails are forming crescents into his shoulders the faster you bounce, the two of your breaths mingling in the air, panting quicker.

"fu—fuck," toji's brows curl, paying close attention to the lecherous noise of your pussy taking him, dripping down his lower half like a faucet. "i'm getting fucking close."

"fuck me back," you plead, shifting forward as a way of telling him to lay down. he sighs shakily, your voice so goddamn venereal it's killing him. he tells you not to stop, laying on the gravel and bending one of his legs he uses to push up into you, getting rougher, bruising your flesh as he fucks you hard until you salivate, tongue sticking out and pupils scrolling back into your skull.

"good girl, cum for me," he hovers his hand inches away from your ass before hitting you over and over, your small hands compared to his balling up the black shirt on his chest, hips buckling and downright filthy moans leaving your throat as you cum to his command.

"the hell are you kids doing?!" a flashlight shines over the two of your faces, and you swear your heart falls to your ass. it's a cop. shit. gasping, you hide and hop off of him without hurting him, toji laughing as the two of you scramble to gather yourselves.

"go, go!" you yell, yanking his arm as you both run out of the park, toji being sure to snatch up his skateboard, leaving everything else behind. sprinting, the two of you rush past bushes, cars, and streets until you come in contact with a dark alleyway.

"fuck, we got caught," you laugh as you check the corner of the graffitied passageway in search for the cop you're almost sure didn't have the patience to chase either one of you.

a rough hand grabs onto your cheek, turning your gaze back to him, eyes sparkling under the dimly lit street lights. a solemn looks paints his features, fingers digging into your cheeks to make your lips pout. he traces his thumb over them, and you can tell what he wanted, reading him so well. he pushes you down to crouch before him, snagging your hair to lock you still while pulling his aching cock back out. by docility, you spread your lips apart, welcoming him with pride. he wastes no time, sliding his dick as deep as he desired and pounding until he's satiated. keeping that hand in your hair, the other resides below your chin, cupping it gently while fucking your mouth savagely.

"baby, fuck," he's spent, knees bending as he cums with a breathy moan, head resting on the wall behind your body. it's a lot since he's still sailing through his orgasm, slowly rolling his hips. you fall back, gulping before sucking him clean, making sure to hollow your cheeks, giggling when he whines. he's glaring down at you, always, dark hair dismantled over his forehead. you kiss his tip, licking your lips before tucking him back into his jeans and zipping him up.

toji helps you to your feet, wrapping his hand around your neck before kissing you tenderly, melting in his hold.

"good girl," he slips his tongue in your mouth, squeezing any part of you he liked. everywhere, basically.

good girl. it has you throbbing all over again. his praises felt warm. made you feel submissive, small, obedient. "wanna come to my house?"

toji nods, smiling shyly. "sure."

"can i tony hawk my way there?!" you ask excitedly.

toji raises his brow, shrugging with a chuckle. "okay?"

[kirqro]

ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི’ Streamer!Ellie

warnings || none !!

lower case intended

{ I LOVE streamer els :’( }

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✮ streamer!ellie ' who's set up is either a really shitty web cam or top tier. Either way she def takes pride in it !

જ⁀➴

✮ streamer!ellie ' who watches shitty reality tv shows on stream and her reactions to the scenes def had a part of her blowing up.

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✮ streamer!ellie ' was really insecure when she was just starting out streaming , like poor baby would tape up her camera up in fear it would randomly turn on ;((

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✮ streamer!ellie ' who after hitting a milestone finally did a face reveal and was shaking in her boots.

She was just yapping to yap lwky.. because of how nervous she is

"So chat are we perhaps rocking with my outfit !"

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✮ streamer!ellie ' who fucks around with her soundboard way to much ..

like baby be pushing buttons at the wrong time

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✮ streamer!ellie ' who be fighting with her viewers sometimes..

'@elliesbigfatlefttoe - Ellie why can I SEE your armpit hair peaking out bae..'

SHE SNAPS BACK SOO QUICK

"BIG FAT WHAT? .. The fuck come bite it off for me then weirdo"

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✮ streamer!ellie ' who plays a variety of games from Minecraft , Valorant , Roblox , Fortnite [ she gets called dog water by random 10 year olds.. (╥﹏╥) ] a bunch of random horror games and some rpg games.

She also does chill talking streams & random reaction videos.

LMAO SHE DEF READS FANFICS ABT HERSELFF

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✮ streamer!ellie ' who EATS on fashion famous

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✮ streamer!ellie ' gets herself into random ass twitter beef and just takes all the roast she gets by 10 year old arianators..

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✮ streamer!ellie ' is really just a big loser

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✮ streamer gf!ellie ' who after she blew up needed to introduce you to her stream , or at least make it known shes MARRIED.

ellie randomly drops the gf bomb on everyone on a random thursday stream outta no where..

୨♡୧

It was a pretty chill just chatting stream

when ellie started to give her viewers a ring tour. the pads of her fingers brushed against a certain ring on her left hand . a smirk could be seen adoring ellie's face while she slipped it off and tried to be a lil beauty guru showing the ring off.

up close in action shots as she called it..

"It's a promise ring with the wifey you know !" she said with pride forming inside her chest and a smile falling on her face.

Tik tok and wlw twitter sighed that day..

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✮ streamer gf!ellie ' who soft launches you and your identity.

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✮ streamer gf!ellie ' who loves when you sit in her streaming room with her ! although she tends to get a bit shy knowing your presence is there

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✮ streamer gf!ellie ' who talks the most shit with you about petty drama in her community ..

"babe you'll never guess who got cancelled .."

before you could even open up your lips to ask her what happened she cut you off in an instant

"bro that dyke abigail , her ex came forward saying she gave her fucking chlamydia.. goodness dirty ass bitch"

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✮ streamer gf!ellie ' who loves the way you love her. she can't ever seem to really wrap her mind around the fact that you've really stuck around with her for this long!

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✮ streamer gf!ellie ' who is wife !!

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Hii bbys I acc had sm fun writing this ! soo again maybe part two ?

Again requests are wide open so pls send some !!

ILYSMM and TYSM for reading !! (∩˃o˂∩)♡

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daily click for Palestine !!

from the river to the sea Palestine WILL be free!! 🍉

[prodagustd]

the road not taken 03 | myg

part three: four seconds

Summary: If you wanted to stop thinking about Yoongi, the first step was as easy as stop seeing him, but why it seemed like he was following everywhere you went?

<part two | part four>

—pairing: lawyer!yoongi x actress oc

—rating: +18

—genre: brother's best friend, one sided pinning (or both?)

—warnings/tags: slow burn,angst, fluff, eventual smut, angst, sexual tension!!!!! flashbacks, ANGST!! Btw english is not my first language !!

—words: 11k

—a/note: HERE IT ISSSSSSSS!!! I'm sosososos sorry for taking so long, but it is finally here!! I swear I will try and update monthly from now on, but enjoy this for now!! It has a lot of backstory so I hope you enjoy it. btw these last months I've been going to a poetry workshop so I was on fire writing this (ok maybe not since I took so long to finish it lmao). As always feedback is always welcomed, and if you want to discuss this part in the asks you're welcomed as well!! ilyyyy

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Present 

When Yoongi turned thirteen, your mother promised to bake a Batman cake as a gift for his birthday party. You had a clear memory of sitting at the counter the day before the party as she decorated the cake with yellow icing that tasted like just like bananas, and the next day when Yoongi gave you the first piece of cake you remembered thinking it was the best thing you’ve ever tasted. A few years ago, when Yoongi turned twenty three, you asked him if he remembered the taste of that cake, and, as he smoked what he swore it would be the last cigarette of his life, he said that he did not. At that time you asked him how it was possible that he didn’t remember the taste of some cake your mom made ten years ago, how was it possible that information of such importance had gone unnoticed? Looking back, you could say that it was not Yoongi’s fault, maybe you were the only one holding onto memories and he was as forgetful as everyone else. After all, Yoongi forgot he promised he would quit smoking that very same night, he would smoke his last cigarette only a year later, but even to this day you couldn’t forget the taste of that cake. 

You were just beginning to realize you were condemned to be one of those people who just remembered. Like your aunt, who knew all the birthdays and all the deathdays, all your cousins’ first words, including yours, and was often caught reminiscing every detail of the day she met her husband thirty springs ago. Maybe it was in the family, and it was only a matter of time until you started speaking memories instead of words, so you tried to stop it, but they lived in your mind regardless if you decided to stop mentioning them out loud or not. 

Like the perfume of your granddad that he only wore on Christmas, or the way blood and tears tasted the day you broke your teeth when you were eight and tried to play basketball with Yoongi and Simon but tripped. You sobbed like a baby, but Yoongi hugged you so tight that you forgot you were going to be toothless for the following month. 

You collected the memories, the words, the smell and the taste, you held them close to your heart, stuck in your chest with a stake, forced to remember everything while everyone around you just forgot. And you didn’t complain, you couldn’t,  why would you? Life was like that, happening in front of you as you stood in front of the body length mirror in your mother’s room, as you closed your eyes and tried to remember the yellow icing in Yoongi’s birthday cake, it happened in front of you as you tried to avoid it. You knew you had to stop lingering in the past when all those details, all those colors, and all those memories began to turn against you. Like every January, when your mind reminded you that your body was still stuck in the freezing cold of the morning you decided to leave home four years ago. 

That morning, when you decided to go see Yoongi five days into the new year because he had barely texted you since the last day you saw him, January 2nd, when he received the news from his aunt that his mother had an accident during their trip. You walked to his apartment instead of driving because you didn’t think it was that cold, but you were immediately proven wrong when your hands started to get frozen and your feet began to hurt as you walked in the snow, but that didn’t stop you. He said he was going to be home for a second to grab some stuff and then come back to the hospital, where his mom was, so you were expecting the look of surprise on his face when he saw you at the door, what you weren’t expecting was the way he was hesitating to let you in. You remembered the things he did and the things he said that day like they were engraved in your memory, but mostly the way he was looking at you, like he wanted to run away, from you? from his life? You still didn’t know, all you knew is that after that you had no other option than to turn around and walk away. 

When you thought about it for too long you could still feel the way the snow lingered all the way home in your clothes and hair, how it stayed on the sole of your shoes for the following years, how your tears froze in your cheeks because you refused to wipe them away. Sometimes you woke up in the middle of the night and could still feel the snow running down your back, making you wonder if winter was still chasing you. 

Inside your body it had been winter for so long that your heart seemed to be completely frozen ever since you left home, only now that you were back you realized that perhaps autumn was not warm enough to heal your heart. 

That was not the last time you saw Yoongi, but you believed it was the last time you decided to talk to him, the last time you allowed yourself to even lay eyes on him. 

You wished you could find peace for at least a moment, but it seemed that you had to work hard for it, it was getting tiring to remember that you were the one who caused the chaos that was your life, and now you were the one who had to fix it: your mother, your brother, Ian and Sally, and even your public image. Doing the last button of your white shirt you asked the universe: why couldn’t those be all your problems? You swore to the man in the sky that if he sent you all your problems in the form of a giant monster you were willing to fight it, only if he could stop you from seeing Yoongi tonight.  

Perhaps you should stay in your mom’s room tonight, not attending dinner was okay, your mom made that clear, but at the same time you were twenty five years old now, you couldn’t keep acting like an angry teenager who decided to skip dinner. You knew that it wasn’t going to make things better, but at least seeing your brother was going to make you feel normal, and that was the only reason you decided to set foot outside the room when you heard the bell ring. 

Four years ago. 

Two weeks before New Year’s Eve.

You should’ve known that it would be useless to stop thinking about what happened a week ago the minute you woke up in the same bed as Yoongi, but you still tried. You tried, and tried, and tried in countless ways, like for example, when you tried to watch a whole season of The Office in one sitting, or when you listened your mom rant about some turkish drama she was watching, or when Minnie texted a few days ago and you let her talk about that job she mentioned that night until you fell asleep. And then, you agreed to meet her for a coffee and she talked non stop about the same open audition four hours away in the city.

You were not sure if she was beginning to convince you or you were just desperately trying to stop thinking about Yoongi, you thought the only logical explanation for both theories was that you were about to go crazy. 

But if you were being honest to yourself, you couldn’t help but be interested in it. Minnie pitched the job like a gothic dramatic love story, which sounded just like something you would love. She also said it wasn’t a super big play, but it wasn’t small either, and it was pretty well paid. Minnie mentioned she knew the producers and the director and could put on a good word for you. 

“Why don’t you do it, then?” You had asked her, not being sure if you would do the same thing for someone who didn’t talk to you in years. “And why me?”

“Oh, well, I don’t know if it’s my style and… I’m not sure if I’m ready to leave home yet.” She replied with a nostalgic tone in her voice. “And why not you? I don’t know anyone who can pull it off, and you appeared in front of my eyes. Must be a sign.”

You couldn’t understand the first thing, how adamant she was to stay here, as much as you tried to see the world through her eyes, you couldn’t, a few years ago you took the first chance to get out of here and didn’t look back. But sitting there, at the small table next to the window, it wasn’t difficult to tell which one of you two looked more happy (hint: it wasn’t you). Minnie was different, she was still working at The Alley, she loved it there and wasn’t willing to let it go yet. 

The second thing, you couldn’t understand either, but it made sense for her to do it. Being kind was natural for Minnie, she didn’t hold grudges, and you weren’t sure if you deserved that kindness. She waved away all your concerns, your whens and whys and hows, she kept repeating the same words; “it must be a sign”, “it’s clearly meant to be”, and you just laughed and tried to not to think about Yoongi. And it worked for a while, because on the way home you allowed yourself to fantasize about it for at least ten minutes. Moving to the city and working there for weeks and weeks and maybe months or years, and not having to pretend you were someone else. But the minute you entered your house you were reminded of what you were trying to forget. 

The memory kept sneaking in your mind, just like Yoongi sneaked in your bed that night. The image of his hooded eyes, his pink lips and the reminder that nothing really happened kept wandering inside your head.

That night you entered the house giggling like babies and when both of you were changed and ready to sleep you got under the covers, not thinking whether it was right or wrong. And yes, your bed was big enough for you and him, but your arms and legs still slightly touched during the whole night, and when you woke up your feet where tangled with each other, leaving you wondering if you were stupid for thinking something had changed between the two of you, or maybe the way he looked at you when he opened his eyes was just your twisted imagination.

Yes, you were probably crazy when you thought he was looking at you differently when you made him breakfast, like you promised. You were crazy for thinking it felt like you were in a different universe when you sat in the kitchen island the whole morning and then found Nightmare Before Christmas on tv and discussed if it was a Christmas or a Hallowen movie on the couch. 

And then, of course, he left, bringing you back to reality. But then during the week he came back, and then left again, and came back again. You knew you had to kick him out, you knew it was for the best to make up an excuse and say you were busy, but this time he promised to get your car repaired, so you let him take you to his uncle’s garage. 

Yoongi’s uncle was nowhere to be found today, but Namjoon, Yoongi’s friend, was in charge, although he wasn’t very happy with people being loud while he was working. By the time Namjoon established he didn’t want any of you there at the garage, you had already decided you were staying.

You knew Namjoon ever since he started working with Yoongi’s uncle, he was a tall and big guy with a shy smile, he wore glasses and read books, he was funny and smart and you knew that he had more more than one girl waiting for him to text them back, and for some reason, despite being really handsome, and really cute, and really tall… he was still single. Not that you cared, of course, you were interested in… other people…You still allowed yourself to admire him, like when you watched that Turkish drama with your mom because you were trying not to think of Yoongi and the lead actor helped a lot with it. 

Now you were there, sitting on top of some dirty table next to a bunch of tools you couldn’t name, trying to keep silent when Namjoon scolded you again. 

Yoongi was very good at ignoring him, he pretended he didn’t listen to his friend as he leaned towards you, talking really close to your ear. “Should I give your grandma a Christmas present?” He asked, half joking, half serious. “You know, so she’s in a good mood.”

You turned to him, raising an eyebrow. “A bottle of klonopin, maybe.” You said, making Namjoon scoff loudly. 

He turned around, now interested in the conversation, looking at you both. “Why do you want to give her grandma a Christmas present?” He asked, confused. One of the reasons why Namjoon didn’t like people talking while he was working was because he was easily distracted, when he was interested in the topic he didn’t seem too annoyed.

Yoongi turned around to face him, deciding his friend was there all of a sudden. “I’m spending Christmas with her family next week.” He explained, being kind enough to forget that Namjoon explicitly told him to shut the fuck up about twenty minutes ago. “But she’s a bit moody.” 

That was one way to describe your grandmother, the other one was to say she was a complete witch.

“Yeah, Yoongi invited himself.” You teased him, instantly feeling one of his fingers digging into your rib, making you jump. 

Namjoon quietly observed the scene like something he wasn’t supposed to watch, with his mouth hung open ready to say something, but his mind was still searching for words. You suspected that Yoongi’s answer left him with more doubts that he had to begin with.  

“Really?” He managed to say, curious. “I didn’t know you two were… like that.” Namjoon cautiously started the sentence, but didn’t dare to finish it in case he was wrong, although the scene you were making was clearly making him believe he was right.

You jumped in your seat, opening your eyes widely as you understood what he was implying. “Oh, no.” You rushed to say, waving your hands in the air. 

“No, not like that.” Yoongi talked at the same time as you, crossing looks as if you were reassuring each other of it. His eyes were as open as yours, shaking his head trying to deny the accusation. “My mom is not here until the first week of January.” He explained, making Namjoon nod, still confused at your nervous reactions. “So I’m alone at Christmas.” 

Yoongi looked at you, giving a look that meant “it makes sense, right?” and yes, of course it made sense. You and Yoongi had spent Christmas together before, he knew your whole family since he was a kid, he grew up with Simon, he was family too, it made sense, but Namjoon’s implication made both of you jump in your seats, talking over each other as you laughed nervously. 

“So all of you three are spending Christmas together?” Namjoon continued to ask, trying to understand the conversation again. “You two and Simon?”

There was a beat of silence in the room, but you were quick to answer. “Simon is spending Christmas with his girlfriend, so we're on our own.” 

Namjoon nodded again, trying not to think too much about it. “So Simon is okay with you keeping all his gifts?” He tried to joke, but the answer only sounded worse. 

You looked at Yoongi, but he was looking at his shoes, avoiding Namjoon’s eyes. Neither of you bothered to mention to Simon that you were spending Christmas together, was it really necessary? Why was Namjoon making it sound like it was necessary for him to know? Why did you feel the need to explain to him that it wasn’t weird at all that you were spending Christmas together alone? You weren’t alone after all, there was your mom, and your grandmother, your aunt and some of your cousins too, I mean, you’ll have to share the room, of course, but- wait… You had to share the room. You forgot about that.

Oh my God… Simon couldn’t find out about that. 

You were quick to suppress the thought, agreeing with yourself to handle that matter later, but right now Namjoon was looking at you like he expected an answer. You quickly realized that Namjoon was just as noisy as you. 

“Oh, he doesn’t need to know.” You said, brushing it off, but your mind was already in chaos.

Present 

You were never really interested in astrology, you tried to get into it a few years ago only to understand what Minnie was saying since she talked about it most of the time, but you ended up being too skeptical to believe in anything. You didn’t believe in God, or in astrology and you weren’t even sure if you could call yourself an atheist completely, but you were still curious. Early in life you realized you were agnostic, (you were aware that you sounded like a pretentious man on a first date when you said it out loud), but you still asked every person you met their star signs in case they matched with their personalities, as if you were still trying to prove yourself wrong. 

You didn’t know if the universe was right or wrong, but if you were sure about something, it was that Simon was a Leo. Not only because he was born on the first of August, but because he fitted in every category of a Leo. He was charming and confident, outgoing, he was a natural leader and people always felt drawn to him, making him a little bit… self centered. 

Like every other Leo, Simon loved his birthday, that was the only reason why you were thinking about it. Two months ago, the first of August, you called him on his birthday like every sister calls her brother on his birthday. You could’ve just sent a message like the past year, but your life was already beginning to feel suffocating. Talking to Simon seemed to ease your heart for a while. He wanted to talk to you about his job at the firm and his girlfriend, the cat they adopted, how they were planning to move to a bigger apartment the following year and asked when you thought it was a great time to propose. You needed to feel like something was in place, like your relationship with Simon was normal, like he could tell you anything and you could listen and just laugh. It worked for the first ten minutes, until he inevitably brought up the topic of his birthday party, and he inevitably invited you, and you inevitably had to say no. 

You missed Simon, you missed your mom, you missed your bed and your home, but you weren’t ready to come back, you weren’t ready to see the thousand faces you left behind, you were still hesitant to come back. Now you were there, tense at the end of the stairs because the disappointed tone on his voice lingered in your mind to this day. 

Some voice in your head was telling you that it was what adults do, take responsibility for their actions, seeing people even if you preferred not to see them because that was what grown ups do. You were supposed to be an adult of twenty five years old, even if you felt like you never grew out of that bitter phase only teenagers go through, you were still an adult, so why did you feel like a kid at the end of the stairs, waiting for Simon to lay eyes on you?

Your mom hugged him tightly like she hadn’t seen him in months, and when he pulled away from her grip he noticed you, coming down the stairs as you realized that he, like your mom, wasn’t expecting to see you today.

Simon frowned, surprised, but just a second later a smile took over his face  “Hey, you.” He said, opening his wide arms, offering you a hug. “What are you doing here?”

You took a deep breath, almost turning around to check if he was talking to another person behind you, but no, he was talking to you. He grabbed your wrists, pulling you closer to hug you the same way your mom was hugging him a moment ago. “Is this not my house?” You murmured against the fabric of his blue sweater, feeling your heart hammering against your ribcage as you tried to make a joke.

“Of course it is.” He just said, leaving a kiss on your hair.

Four years ago. 

Two weeks before New Year’s Eve. 

If you wanted to stop thinking about Yoongi, the first step was as easy as stop seeing him, because your mind was not helping at all. 

After leaving his uncle’s garage you should’ve gone home to start thinking a way of telling Yoongi that he couldn’t sleep in the same bedroom as you on Christmas, you needed to think of an excuse for why he should sleep in your grandma’s one thousand year old couch instead of Simon’s empty bed, which was casually right next to yours.

The following step should be to watch some romcom with Heath Ledger and try to forget the way Yoongi rolled up his sleeves when he was pretending to help Namjoon with your car, or at least the way you stared like an idiot for a good moment before snapping out of it. 

He should’ve gone home too, he had no business walking in the same direction as you if his apartment was towards the other end of the street. It didn’t take you long to realize he was following you “for some coffee, since we’re cold”, as he said, already assuming that you didn’t have any plans (he wasn’t wrong).

You didn’t want to chase him away, you were still working on that thing of not being a bitch, and while there was a rational part of you that knew that you were better off not seeing Yoongi, there also was a part of you who couldn’t get enough of him. A better explanation was that you might be a masochist. 

The garage wasn’t far from home, but you were walking fast as if you were trying to lose him in the way.

“Is Namjoon still single?” You wondered out loud, trying to redirect your thoughts somewhere far away from him. At least for now it didn’t seem that difficult, you remembered the sweet smile of Yoongi’s friend and the way he lifted his glasses with his finger up to the bridge of his nose. Was he really shy or was he just faking it so girls thought he was cute? Either way, it was working.

“What?” Yoongi raised his voice, frowning at you. 

You frowned back at him “I asked if Namjoon is still single.” You repeated, but you were sure he heard it right. “How come he’s still single?”

The wind hit your face, so you made yourself small in your jacket, scanning the street for any cars before crossing in the middle of the street. Yoongi followed you without hesitation, running to the other side of the street before you left him behind. 

“Why…?” He yelled, trying to catch up with you, but when he was next to you he lowered his voice “Why do you care?”

The question sounded strange coming out of his lips, but you ignored his tone, turning your head. “I’m curious.” You just said, but he still couldn't shake the strange look on his face. “What?” You pushed his shoulder “Don’t look at me that way.” 

“I’m not looking at you in any way.” He defended himself. 

He was clearly looking at you in some way, you just didn’t know which. You winced, trying to brush it off “I’m just asking…” You murmured “He’s really cute, don’t you think? He works at the garage, he wears glasses, he’s got cute dimples. How is he still single?” 

“It seems like you gave him a good look.” He mumbled under his breath, taking his eyes off you. 

“I’m just a very observant girl.” You argued. “C’mon, you didn’t think about it? I’ve never seen Namjoon with a girl…” You kept wondering, staying silent as Yoongi, for some reason, refused to keep this conversation going. You still didn’t know how Simon and Yoongi were such good friends, Simon always knew everything about everyone, how was it possible that Yoongi refused to even discuss the reason for Namjoon's long singleness? Or maybe Yoongi was keeping the reason as a secret, maybe it was something no one was supposed to know. Suddenly, you connected two and two together, interpreting Yoongi’s reluctance in the most logical way. You gasped “Oh! Or is he…?”

Yoongi rolled his eyes, making a sound of annoyance when he realized you were still talking about the same thing. “No, he’s not gay, Pinky.” He sighed “He’s just not into dating.”

You turned the corner of the street, making Yoongi follow you. “Like my brother?” You asked, remember how everyone said the same thing about Simon. 

He snorted “No, not like your brother.” He said  “Simon was a mess… Namjoon is just a shy guy.”

You arched an eyebrow. That was the lamest excuse ever, it wasn’t enough explanation for you. Maybe Yoongi was right and Namjoon was just-a-shy-guy, or maybe Yoongi didn’t know the real reason why he has been single for years because men never communicate their feelings with each other, maybe Namjoon was dating his first love for years until she broke her heart, making him never want to date again, or maybe… 

“Stop.” He said, interrupting your train of thought. Now it was his turn to push your shoulder “Don’t even think about it.” 

He gave you a warning look, which made you confused for a moment… Wait, what was he thinking? Did Yoongi confuse your nosiness for something else? Did something that you said made him think your intentions were different? … Was he really thinking you were interested in Namjoon? 

You pursed your lips, trying to contain your laugh. You could explain to Yoongi that he misunderstood you and deny every accusation, but something inside you told you that the current scenario was more fun.

“I’m not thinking about anything.” You said, faking innocence, and even if you really weren't he looked at you like he didn’t believe you. 

“Yeah, right.” He huffed “Didn’t sound like that.”

“Really? How did it sound, then?” You teased him “Enlighten me.” 

Yoongi did not say another word after that, refusing to follow your game. You've known him for longer than you could remember —literally, he said he remembered meeting you when he was four and Simon invited him into the house so he could meet his new baby sister, but you had no recall of it—, even so, you had no memory of him ever being mad at you, not even slightly annoyed, so you were a bit confused when his expression remained serious for the rest of the walk home. Was it so bad to show interest in Namjoon?

“Don’t even think about it.” What did that even mean?

Present

You were trying to avoid the memory of Ian’s proposal for weeks now. It was painted in your mind, the excited look on his face, his mom’s ring on his hand, the flowers, the cool white lights, the ringing in your ears that warned you something was wrong. You remembered wondering if he knew that you read all those texts he sent to other women, if he knew how ridiculous everything looked. It still made you cringe when you accidently thought about it. Did he really think you were the same as him?… Weren’t you different? 

Despite being the most embarrassing moment of your life to date, you weren’t trying to hide it, you were planning to tell your family about it when the time was right. Like tonight, for example. You thought you could talk to them about it, that you could have time to explain everything, to apologize for not saying anything, maybe for a couple other things too… But your plan was ruined the moment your mom told you she had planned a dinner in your absence on the same day you arrived.

Now Simon was looking at you like you were thirteen and you got your heart broken for the first time. He rested his elbows on the table you and him just set, sighing. You were aware that the rest of the guests were on their way, but you tried to ignore it. It wasn’t that difficult since Simon’s thoughts were echoing in the room, making you shift in your seat. Of course Simon already knew about it, you were sure he already read it in some tabloid before you got the chance to tell him first. 

“Stop doing that.” You said, breaking the silence. He didn’t seem surprised, but still narrowed his eyes, trying to play dumb.

“Doing what?” 

You weren’t sure what he was doing exactly, maybe you were just imagining the way he was looking at you: with pity, but it was annoying you, and he knew that, perhaps it was the reaction he was expecting from you. He was laughing five minutes ago, making fun of you when he saw you trip on the step of the entrance to the kitchen like nothing changed between the two of you, but now he was sitting in silence as if he was preparing you to ask you the question. 

You wished Florence, Simon’s girlfriend, were here. She would fill the uncomfortable silences with gossip about the neighbors and ignore the elephant in the room. She was away visiting her family, so instead you were there with him as he tried to play the big brother role, but failed terribly. 

“Are you going to ask me about it?” You asked, not hesitating.

Simon let your question linger in the air, pretending you didn’t just read his mind. There were only a few people you could say you knew like the palm of your hand, one of them was your brother. Even if you spent years separated, you’ve always been as thick as thieves, you still saw right through Simon, and the only problem with that was that he saw right through you as well.

“Are you going to tell the truth?” He calmly asked, enjoying the look on your face when he heard you gasp, offended.

It hurt to know how implicit it was that you hadn’t been honest these past years, it was easy to catch you off guard. While you were out in the world, away from your family, Simon stayed here and visited your mom every sunday and tried to ignore the fact that you didn’t answer any of their messages that week, saying that you were busy working when you really were trying to avoid invitations for the next weekend. It was obvious that Simon was the one that spent more time with your mom, you thought about that the second he used the same tone as her when she was scolding you. 

You crossed your arms over your chest, frowning “Maybe, I can think about it.” You said in the same tone as him. Simon just scoffed, shaking his head. 

“Fine. That was too much to ask for, I guess.” He snarked, mocking you “I have a simpler question… are you okay?” 

Despite his attempt to appear casual and keep bickering, his concern was evident. That question could have felt like a caress to the soul, a sigh of relief, the feeling of home, but instead it felt like Simon had punched you in the stomach, leaving you without air. How easy it was to fight with Simon, how easy would’ve been for you if he didn’t hug you when he saw you thirty minutes ago. It would’ve been less difficult than witnessing his blue eyes showing you mercy. It was clear that he cared for you, but you weren't sure if you deserved it, not from him of all people. 

“Simon…” You murmured, shaking your head. It was an easy question, but difficult to answer knowing this wasn’t the right moment, this wasn’t how you planned things.  

“What?” He questioned, reading your mind “I’m not asking you just because I have to, I’m not waiting for you to lie to me and tell me that you’re alright so I can forget about it, I care.” 

“I know you care.” You breathed out “It’s just…” You sighed, vacillating “Listen… I haven’t- I’m not okay, really… But I can manage. I just feel like this is not the right moment to talk about it.” You looked at the entrance of the door and his sorry eyes followed, understanding what you meant. Simon nodded, but he didn’t stop looking at you like you were a wounded animal.

“That’s fine, I understand.” He murmured “That’s what I wanted to know. I was just wondering if you were going to be okay tonight.” 

“I’ll be fine, as long as I don’t have to talk about myself. We’ll have time for that” You assured him.

“Are you sure?” He continued to question, doubting you. 

You squinted your eyes “Yes, I'm sure, Simon.” You said, annoyed, even if you couldn’t blame him for not trusting your word. “I’m not planning to run away.”

“Not again?” He tried to joke, but you didn’t dare to laugh. 

“I assure you, not again.” You rolled your eyes, hating that that was the image your brother had of you, hating to know that he was right. “You can stop looking at me like I’m a lost puppy now, I’m not a lost puppy.”

He scoffed “Are you not a lost puppy?” He asked “Where are you sleeping tonight?” 

You frowned, offended “Here, of course… I mean, on the couch probably, but here.” You  tried to defend yourself, but you immediately realized that your room was still a mess, and instead of cleaning a bit before dinner, you spent the whole afternoon sleeping. 

His lips curved into a mocking smile, knowing that there wasn’t much difference between you and a lost puppy. “You can sleep at mine.” He offered. 

“I wasn’t asking” You resisted, too proud to say yes right away.

“I know.” He said, and he shushed you to stop you from talking, pretending that it was the end of the discussion.

You shook your head, trying to reject those kind gestures you didn’t deserve. You opened your mouth, willing to keep arguing with your brother until you heard the bell ringing for the second time this evening, making you almost jump in your seat. 

Your mom yelled from the kitchen, announcing that she was getting the door followed by the sound of her noisy shoes making their way to the door. It happened in a matter of seconds, you heard your mom rushing to the hall and opening the door, you heard muffled sounds, mixed voices, your mom greeting the guests while you waited on your chair as Simon turned his head over his shoulder, expectantly observing the entrance of the dining room. 

Then, you heard steps approaching, laughter and chatter, but something else was happening in your head, something that was restricting you from hearing clearly —from thinking clearly—.

You fixed your eyes on the door, wishing no one appeared for as long as they could delay the arrival, but soon your field of vision was occupied by a short woman with curly hair and pearls in her ears. Nari, Yoongi’s mom, watched her step while she supported herself with a cane as she entered the room. Nari was just a few years older than your mom, but since the accident four years ago it has been difficult for her to walk without help, that’s why you and your brother both stood up at the same time to help her get to a seat faster. 

The sound of both of your chairs being pushed back and your brother’s rushed steps filled the room. Simon was quicker than you, he approached Nari, smiling and saying hello as he grabbed one of her hands to help her find a seat. 

You were not hearing anything clearly, but you were sure that Nari was complaining and telling Simon that she did not need any help, but he ignored her as he asked for her coat so he could hang it on the coat rack next to the door. 

You felt clumsy, awkwardly standing in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do with yourself for the next four seconds. Four seconds that could’ve been four years, because when you lifted your gaze you realized you were standing face to face with Yoongi. An older Yoongi, a Yoongi you haven’t seen before, even if you didn’t remember when was the last time you dared to look him in the eyes, you were sure that back then he looked very different than tonight. His hair was longer, it was pushed back like he ran his finger through it, he was dressed like he just got home from work, a white dress shirt, slacks and a long black winter coat. He was dressed like an adult, a version of him that you never met and maybe never will. His gaze met yours the same way everything met you: by accident. He was not expecting to see you tonight, you knew that, now he was looking at you the same way you were looking at him, like he saw a ghost, maybe you were, maybe he was. 

Yoongi opened his mouth to say something, and you had exactly one second to prepare for what he was about to say next, but you didn’t. 

“Oh, Pinky.” Two words escaped his lips, tripping over each other as surprise and regret took over his features. He immediately realized he said something he wasn’t supposed to, but you still couldn’t hear clearly, you weren’t sure if you heard that right. 

The nickname sent a chill down your spine, you couldn’t answer to it, and he knew it. It was like he said some forbidden word to make you freeze in your place. You couldn’t help but feel like the dumbest person on earth. 

You had been thinking the whole afternoon about it, trying to think of ways of looking unbothered when Yoongi showed up tonight, but it took one stupid word for you to stop functioning normally. You wanted to say something, say hi to him and forget that he even dared to call you like that, but you refused to do it. 

“Sweetheart! What are you doing here?” Suddenly, your ears were working again. Nari’s high pitched voice snapped you out of your trance, making you look away from her son’s face. It was like she didn’t notice your presence until Yoongi called you by that stupid nickname “I didn’t know you were coming!”

She attempted to stand up again, but you rushed to meet her so she wouldn’t move from her chair to let her pull you into a tight embrace. You took advantage of it, there were no more places to hide in this house, not your mom’s room or behind your brother, so you closed your eyes, hugging her back.

It was only then when you realized how much you missed being hugged like that, you remembered how much you missed such affection. Especially from her, who was always so loving to you, it was a shame that you couldn’t look her son in the eyes. 

You shook those thoughts away, acting like his presence didn’t affect you. “I told my mom!” You explained “But she forgot, can you believe it?”

“She should've told me.” She said, pulling away to cup your face in her hands “I haven’t seen you in so long, angel, you look beautiful!”

“Not as much as you do, Nari, are you wearing makeup?” You tried to joke, making her giggle. 

“No, darling, I don’t need that stuff.” She shook her head. “C’mon, sit next to me, we have to catch up!”

Four years ago 

Seven days before New Year’s Eve. 

There definitely was a logical reason why you and Yoongi were locked in the tiniest closet of your Grandma's enormous house.

The answer was somewhere in your mind, somewhere deep where your brain functioned just fine, somewhere where you weren’t trapped between Yoongi’s body and some shelf that was digging on your shoulder blade. 

You were looking at each other in silence while you heard your name being called from downstairs. The palm of your hand was covering his mouth, preventing him from saying another word and his fist was clenched around your shirt to maintain his balance. You were trying to ignore how his knuckles were digging on the skin of your stomach, or how his chest was pressed against yours or the way his knee was digging in your inner thigh to keep you from crashing against the shelves full of cleaning products. 

You looked at him through your eyelashes, quietly observing how his hair fell on his eyes like a curtain. You took a deep breath, thinking of the reason why you were there in the first place, which was… uhm… uh…

Oh yes! You were hiding. Yes, you were hiding from your grandmother, that was why.

This morning Yoongi showed up at your house to pick you and your mother up in his car.  He was wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap with the name of his college on it. He smiled cheekily as he helped you put your bags in the trunk and you rolled your eyes when he opened the door of the passenger seat for you. Your mother was delighted, not only because she didn’t have to drive for two hours to your grandmother’s house, but also because Yoongi had that effect on everyone… including you. 

Of course your grandmother loved Yoongi as well. Through her eyes, he was like another version of Simon; he was studying the same thing, he was about to graduate just like him, of course she was delighted to welcome Yoongi with open arms. You weren’t saying that you were not welcomed, or that your grandmother didn’t love you, but you were never received the same way. Yes, she hugged you and kissed you and told you she missed you, but that didn’t mean that later on she would not make comments on the way you dressed, or the way you laughed, or whether you should eat another gingerbread cookie or not. 

You could endure all those things, you always did, it was nothing new to you. What you could not endure, howerever, was another second in the presence of your grandmother talking about her neighbor’s daughter. You hardly knew Aria, —the tall and blonde girl with gorgeous blue eyes that was sitting in the living room next to your grandmother— but you knew pretty much everything about her since your grandmother insisted on comparing you to her. 

Ever since you were a kid your grandmother liked to compare you to every other girl of your age. You were sure Aria was a nice girl, it wasn’t her fault your grandmother was such a bitch, but you weren’t in the mood to face her today, especially when Simon wasn’t around. You knew she was coming with her family, since your grandma loved to invite the whole neighborhood when the holidays arrived, so when you heard your name being called from downstairs so you would come down and greet the guests, you hid in the nearest room of the house, the cleaning closet towards the end of the hall on the second floor. 

After a few seconds you stopped hearing your mother calling for you, but then you started hearing Yoongi, approaching in the hallway as he was looking for you in the room you were staying in. You quickly opened the door, grabbed him by his arms and dragged him into the room with you. 

You resolved that problem, the next step was figuring out how you would get out of the current situation. 

Yoongi gently grabbed your wrist, removing the hand you were using to cover his mouth. “Aren’t you a little dramatic?” He whispered, completely ignoring the short distance that separated your face from his.

Yoongi’s breath smelled like the red wine he was drinking during lunch, and that should send some alert to your mind to warn you that he shouldn't be this close to you, but your brain seemed to be functioning on a different astral plane, and it was pretty much only focused on Yoongi’s lips.

You felt his hand opening to let go of your crumpled shirt, but then he slowly slid it back to your waist, grabbing you gently.

You gulped. 

That seemed completely normal.

“Of course I am.” You whispered back, and you congratulated yourself for being able to speak. “That’s why I am hiding in a closet.”

“And you dragged me with you.” He remarked.

“You were screaming my name, you were going to give me away.” You accused him, digging a finger on his chest.

He nodded, pretending that what you just said made sense “Right, I get it. So… why are you hiding here instead of your room?” He said, emphasizing his words. 

You took a quick look around the tiny dark room that wasn’t made to have two people in it. It smelled like bleach and it was full of brooms and dust. It wasn’t the most comfortable place to hide but it seemed like no one opened this room for the last four weeks, so it was safe. You returned your eyes to his face, biting your bottom lip. “My room wasn’t safe.” You explained, dead serious. “Do you think they stopped looking for me already?”

Yoongi rolled his eyes “You sound like someone is trying to kill you.”

Well, no. No one was trying to kill you, but why did you feel the need to run away as if someone was? 

“No, it’s worse. If they find me I would have to tell everybody that I dropped out of college.” You effused, making him shake his head in disbelief “You are supposed to be here to support me, aren’t you?” You tried to remind him. 

“I am here to support you.” He emphasized. “I am hiding in a closet with you, aren’t I?” You kept silent, knowing he was right. “But you can’t run away from everything, especially if it’s not worth the run, we’ll leave eventually and you’ll forget about your grandma for the rest of the year.”

You sighed, defeated. “I still don’t want to see fucking Aria.”

He scoffed, biting his lip to contain a laugh. “We don’t have to talk to her, we can just say hello and leave.” He said “I mean, but first we have to get out of here.” 

He looked around, signaling the room you were squeezed in. He was right, again, he always was. You knew that it was absurd that you were hiding here in the first place, but something inside you urged you to stay there for a few seconds longer. Now you didn’t know if you wanted to stay there to avoid the guests or because you were getting too comfortable in his arms (you already knew the answer).

You had no idea what was happening in Yoongi’s mind, but you were too busy swimming in the warm brown of his eyes to even care, you were too busy dreaming to be interested in what this meant. 

You must’ve been long gone for a few seconds, because you were only made aware that you’ve been silent for a while when you heard his soft voice.  

“Pinky,” He called for you, pulling you out of the haze of your mind, but the thing that finally snapped you out of it was when you were suddenly caught off guard when you, out of nowhere, felt his hand touching your face, squeezing your cheeks between his fingers “are we going to stop hiding or not?” He calmly asked, making your heart skip a beat. 

You blinked, feeling your knees getting weak. If you were speechless before, now you have become completely mute. 

What. Was. He. Doing. 

And what was he playing?

You couldn’t miss the way his eyes shined in the dark and how your heart swirled in your chest, becoming small the second you watched a flash of a smirk tugging at the corner of his pink lips. Was he fucking laughing at you?

And why were you standing there with your mouth hung open, racking your brain for something to say? Your mind couldn’t process if he was just playing with you, not right now, not ever. You didn’t know what game he was playing, but you decided you were not letting him win regardless. You grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand away from your face. 

“Don’t treat me like a baby…” You said in a low voice, but you didn’t know what you were talking about anymore. Everything stopped making sense the moment you dragged him into this room.

He squeezed your waist, digging his fingers on your skin over your cotton shirt. “But you sound like a baby.” He murmured, leaning over you just enough to make your noses brush with each other. 

Your heart dropped to your stomach, leaving you without air. God, you felt sick. This wasn’t real, this was a product of your imagination, like every single second you spent with Yoongi these last weeks. “Yoongi…” You whispered, trying to warn him, but instead it sounded like you were pleading. You might as well have done both; warning him because if he didn’t stop you would start believing whatever he was doing, and pleading because you were not sure if you could take it. 

He freed himself from your grasp, grazing his thumb along your jaw bone. You couldn’t recall a time, not even in your darkest dreams, where he touched you like that. 

“What?” He whispered back, his voice hoarse. “What are you going to do?”

The room laid in profound silence for a moment, the weight of your heart suffocated you and the urge to answer him, to smack him in the face, to run away, increased in your chest. You held your breath, watching him open his mouth about to say something, but then the room shook when someone knocked on the door like they were about to knock it down, being followed by the strong sound of your mom’s voice, making you jump away from him. 

“Dear, don’t tell me you’re there again.” She yelled loud enough for the whole block to hear, knocking again for good measure. 

Yoongi’s arms fell on each side of his body, and you couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He lifted an eyebrow, ignoring what just happened. “Again, huh?”

You rolled your eyes, pushing his chest to keep a proper distance between your body and his “Shut up.” You gritted your teeth, refusing to acknowledge the warm temperature of your face. You hated to see that there was no trace of embarrassment on his features, just pure amusement. Meanwhile, you didn’t need a mirror to know how red your cheeks were. 

Three more knocks. “C’mon, get out there already!” Your mother kept yelling. 

When you finally turned around and opened the door, your mother’s gaze fell upon you, looking at you with everything but surprise. It wasn’t the first time you hid there, you did it a couple times when you were a kid and fought with Simon. Your mother was well aware of your hiding place, you just expected her to think you were too old to be found here again.

The surprise came after, when her eyes caught a sigh of another face in the dark. She knew you were going to be hidden here, what she didn’t expect was to find Yoongi right next to you, maybe way too close to each other. 

Her eyes widened, out of words “Oh, dear,... Yoongi… Uh, I didn’t- I didn’t know you were both here...” The sentence died in your mother’s lips, but you ignored her reaction, you stepped out of the room, fanning yourself with your hand to cool down and storming out of the situation. 

“Sorry, I was dragged into this, Lila.” Yoongi explained, sounding way more composed than you, but the situation didn’t look good for either of you. 

“Well, I can only imagine…”  She said, but you did not miss her undertone. 

You walked back to what was supposed to be your room (and Yoongi’s), leaving both of them behind. 

“Your daughter can be very persuasive.” He continued to explain, his voice following you. 

A low hum of your mom finished the conversation, she left trying to put together what she just saw, and you hurried your pace so you could lock yourself in the room and leave him outside. 

“Pinky!” He exclaimed, stopping you at the door frame. 

You needed a second alone, but he was not willing to give it to you. 

You turned around, exasperated “What!?” You snapped, but he didn’t care one bit. 

“Didn’t you want to get out of here?”

Present

The day Ian came to your apartment to pick up the last box with his things, you finally called your mother to tell her you and him had broken up. You had only told Minnie by then, but it got stuck in your throat for two weeks, ready to be vomited at any moment. 

Your mother always said that it was important to grieve things, to be mad about them, to be sad, to cry about them, otherwise you were going to carry that weight while pretending to be okay until, someday, it would explode in your face in the worst possible way. When you broke up with Ian you patiently waited for the tears, for the pain in your chest, for the sad memories of three years with him to arrive one night at three am. You waited for the grief in your car when some sappy love song started playing, or when you went for the groceries and came face to face with the huge advertisement with his face on it, but it never came. 

You had an affection for Ian that was not easy to understand, but you liked his company, you liked his unconventional jokes, that he was politically incorrect, that he laughed in the worst moments, but you were never sure you loved him, were you a horrible person for that? For not feeling bad, for not crying for him? 

When your mom picked up the phone and you told her why you called, you broke down crying before finishing the sentence, you felt all the emotions stacking up your throat as you sobbed uncontrollably. You soon realized you weren’t crying for Ian, you weren’t crying because you missed him, not even for the proposal, you were crying because you needed a hug from your mom and she was four hours away. 

“Women grieve during the relationship.” Minnie theorized when you told her that you didn’t feel bad for Ian “It’s normal if you don’t miss him.”

Maybe she was right, but maybe you were not grieving your relationship with Ian, but the person you were before leaving home. 

Now that you were there, sitting at the table with the people that have always been your family, you knew that you were supposed to feel at ease, but the anxiety you felt at the thought of someone mentioning the big break up, as Minnie called it, was stronger. You knew everyone knew, and you knew everyone was thinking about it. Everyone but you, because you were a bit too distracted with a certain someone sitting across the table, just in front of you. A certain someone who couldn’t stop crossing looks with you. 

“Aren’t they planning to make a movie about that?” You heard Simon ask, shaking off your thoughts. 

As much as you wished not to be the center of attention, you should’ve known that none of your wishes would come true tonight, because every topic, every question, every comment was being redirected at you and your life in the city. 

You weren’t paying much attention to the conversation, but you were sure they were talking about a play you starred in two years ago, which contained one of your most acclaimed performances. You remembered those days with pure contentment and pride, but you had numerous reasons for not wanting to talk about it.

“So I’ve heard.” You just said, looking at the half eaten portion of lasagna on your plate.

“Shouldn’t you be in it?” Nari asked this time “You were wonderful in that.”

You smiled, shrugging. “Thanks, but if they don’t offer it to me beforehand I would have to audition again. It’s a different process of casting I suppose.” 

You heard almost everyone humming in response, and felt a pair of eyes fixed on the side of your face that you were still trying to ignore. In that moment you decided you would not concede said eyes another single glance tonight, as if you could ever keep your promises. 

“But wouldn’t you like to be in it?” Your mom nonchalantly asked “If it were the same casting, I mean.”

You looked at her for a moment, expecting her to realize what she was asking, but she didn’t. You knew she had no business remembering every play you’ve been in, or every casting, or every detail of the life you decided to never share, but you still waited for a moment, expecting her to remember that in that very same play you ended up killing Ian’s character by stabbing him in the heart. 

Nothing like reality, you thought. 

“Not really.” You chuckled, bitterly “Some things are made to be done just once, it might wear off.” 

You breathed out, thinking that you successfully avoided the topic without having to give any explanations. 

But of course, once again, you were wrong. 

“Oh, sorry, baby.” Your mother backtracked “I forgot you were there with…”

The name died on her throat, immediately knowing that the comment was unnecessary. 

You pursed your lips, shaking your head “It’s fine…” 

The conversation could have followed its course then, you could have changed the topic yourself, you could have perfectly saved the conversation by making something up, but Nari was quicker. 

“Oh, darling, I’m sorry about that, I just heard about it this morning.” She followed your mom, giving you the condolences as if someone just died. “I had no idea.”

“Mom…” You heard Yoongi’s voice echoing in the room as a warning, and without noticing, your gaze landed on him again for a brief moment, immediately breaking your promise. You mentally cursed yourself, taking your eyes off him when he offered an apologetic smile.

Nari looked at him, annoyed at him for scolding her, “I’m just saying, I hope you’re okay, I know it’s not easy.”

“Mom.” Yoongi spoke again, this time more insistent, but his mother paid it no mind. 

“It’s okay.” You said without looking at him “I’m okay, things like this happen.”

You didn’t know what things you were referring to, if the break up, the proposal, the leaked pictures, the fact that your ex boyfriend stabbed you in the back. Things like that did not happened everyday, you weren’t supposed to get used to them, but you acted like you already were. 

She nodded, looking at you with eyes full of concern. “I was so surprised, honestly. Didn’t you want to get married?”

The directness of the question caught you off guard, so you couldn’t help but chuckle nervously. Everyone could sense how invasive and personal was the question, but the fact that she wasn’t trying to tip-toe around you made you smile softly. You loved Nari, and you knew she meant no harm, so, only for now, you decided to answer with the truth. 

“Well, yes, someday.” You quietly professed, the words leaving your mouth like a sigh “But with the right person.”

That was enough to end the conversation, she smiled at you the same way you smiled at her and you could swear she could sense the pain in your heart, not because of Ian, but because of everything else. 

Then, Phil began talking about something else and everyone joined the conversation, too scared of saying something wrong and making you cry, but you were still stuck in the moment. After some minutes, when you felt the ache in your chest increasing, you excused yourself and left the table to exit the house through the back door in the kitchen. 

You took a deep breath, letting the cold air fill your lungs as you closed the door behind you. You sat at the bench next to Phil’s plants, trying to catch your breath. You were sure you were about to find a home somewhere, you found yourself surrounded by everything that used to feel like it, but you still felt like a foreign person, you still felt like a stranger, a traitor. You couldn’t find the person you were, or the fragments that you didn’t make disappear. 

You weren’t strong enough yet, you understood that now. The wind in your hair reminded you that you still tried, but the lack of air in your lungs just told you how immature you still were. Still, you were mindful none of this would be easy, but you just needed a few seconds to compose yourself and then you could come back to the dining room to finish your lasagna. That sounded just fine. 

When you were about to get up from your seat, you heard it. The creaking sound of the back door opening, you observed the trace of warm light that came from inside, and then, you heard that voice again. 

Inevitably, your eyes met him again, whose head was peeking to verify if you were outside, and when he saw that you were, in fact, there, he closed the door behind him, leaving the two of you alone in the cold darkness of the night. What was he doing? 

“You’re here.” Yoongi’s words were accompanied by some misty breath, lingering in the air before disappearing. You lowered your gaze, nervously looking at your feet. ‘You’re here’, he said, and for some reason he sounded relieved. 

You were confused, you didn’t understand why he chose to follow you to the backyard, but he invited himself to stay there, leaning on the wall far enough from you.

“It’s cold here.” He announced, trying to dissipate the tension you were creating by staying silent. 

You nodded your head, agreeing, but you believed you shouldn’t even grant him that. 

Yoongi sighed, “I’m sorry about my mom,” He finally said “I’m sure it wasn’t her intention to put you in an uncomfortable situation.” You tried not to roll your eyes. Was that was he doing? Playing the role of an advocate? “She didn’t mean to sound rude or anything, she just has no filter.”

“It’s okay, I know.” You murmured under your breath. “It wasn’t her fault, it’s just me.” 

He kept quiet, he didn’t seem too content with that answer but what could he do about it? You both knew it was the only thing you were going to tell him. 

“Fine, but… you shouldn’t be out here… without a coat.” He awkwardly said, making you frown “It’s cold.”

You suppress the urge to punch him in the face, instead, you put your hands between your thighs because he was right, it was cold and you didn’t have a coat on, if you stayed too long outside you were going to get sick. 

“I know it’s cold.” You acknowledged “I’m going inside in a second.” 

You waited patiently for him to leave, expecting those words to be enough for him to leave you alone for a few more seconds, but he didn’t. He stood there, in the other corner of the porch looking at you like he had something else to say. You didn’t care, you wanted to not care, it was meaningless. 

“Are you… I just, uhm… Are you okay?” He stumbled over his words, but you dismissed the way your heart clenched in response. 

“Yoongi…” You groaned, intending to sound annoyed at him, but the name came out of your voice like something intimate, something like a secret, it echoed in the air, resonating with the same tenderness that he pronounced your nickname upon seeing you tonight.

“What? I mean-”

“I’m okay, I’ll be there in an instant.” You interrupted him. He didn’t have another option but to agree. 

He made his way to the door, but lingered in there for a moment. With one hand on the doorknob, he glanced longingly at you as if he was expecting you to stop him. “You can go now.” You rushed him. 

“I know, I know, sorry.” He said, knowing he was caught. “I’m just glad to see you, that's all.” 

Before you even got the chance to curse him, he disappeared through the door like nothing happened, once again. 

taglist: @kingofbodyrolls @overtherainbow35 @namin13 @p34rluv @moonchild1 @yoongisoftface @namgihours @honsoolgloss @idkjustlovingbts @yoongisducky @bangtansmauyeondan @tarahardcore @wobblewobble822 @secfir @ot72025 @baechugff @heroinanne @mortal-body-timelesssoul @hiii-priestess @wii-wii @jungkookies1002 @busanbby-jjk @acquiescence804

[hippopotamusdreamer]

SKZ Code: Behind the Scenes

genre. A (heavy), F (eventually at the end)

warnings. Cheating, gaslighting, arguing, grabbing, cursing, swearing

additional notes. Female! Reader | You/Your pronouns, reader is aged between Hyunjin and Han, includes all members of Stray Kids

pairing. Yoon Jeonghan x Reader, Platonic!Felix x Reader, ot8 x 9th member reader

w.c. 7.6K

synopsis. Things get heated as emotional problems follow Y/N on set after an overdue encounter with her boyfriend. So what happens when something happens to triggers that fresh memory?

a/n. This is my first ever "published" kpop fic...be nice to me LMAO After having watched SKZ CODE ep. 40, that scene between Hyunjin and Han really stuck with me and just would not get out of my head, thus, this is the result. Constructive criticism would be nice, I feel like I added a lot of detail and it could get muddled and just become a wall of text, let me know what you think.

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This in no way reflects the actual persons involved/based in this fic, nor their actual character. This is purely fiction.

Friday, 11:53 PM, unknown club in Hongdae

There were people all around you. Many of which were bumping and grinding on each other as they enjoyed themselves in all corners of the darkened building. The bass that reverberated throughout the entire club you were currently in was thumping so loud that you couldn’t differentiate it from the wild beating of your heart. The thrumming in your body kept you grounded as you walked through the dense crowd. LEDs were blinking with multicolored filters and there were even a few fog machines that made the place more hip than cliché. Unfortunately, the constant flashing of said lights made the oncoming headache you had, worse.

God, you wanted to leave.

You weren’t even supposed to be there in the first place. But you had gotten a text from Nayeon an hour earlier that just had “???” and then immediately after a photo of what looked like your boyfriend looking really fucking cozy with some girl for someone who had supposedly stayed late for practice at his company that night.

So there you were, in some random club in Hongdae, trying to keep yourself from turning into a mess. Dating ban be damned, you weren’t the only idol that had tried to date in secret, and you certainly wouldn’t be the last. Yet in this instance, as you made your way to the second floor VIP area, maybe you should have just followed the rules instead…

Was sneaking out of your dorm at the risk of your reputation and that of your group to get some answers a good idea? Absolutely not. And having had left yours and Hyunjin’s nightly skin care routine; claiming a, now very real, headache to go there didn’t make it any better. You’d be in for the scolding of a lifetime if any of the guys were to find out you where you were.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Saturday, 12:45 AM, VIP lounge, unknown club in Hongdae

Moving past the bouncer of the VIP section, Nayeon walked up, having waited for you to come. One look at your distressed state and she quickly pulled you into a hug. Letting go and without another word she turned you to the left and you finally came face to face with what you had been hoping was misunderstanding until this very moment.

Just like it had been in the photo Nayeon had sent earlier, there he was. An overly relaxed looking Jeonghan manspreading in his seat as an unknown pretty girl, who looked far too comfortable for it to be their first time together like this, sat perched on his lap. You both watched as she leaned down to whisper in his ear, placing her hand none too subtly on his chest in the process. The grin he gave her as he wrapped his arm around her waist was what snapped you out of your stupor.

“Y/N, wait!” Nayeon yelled after you as you finally found the will to move forward. Certain now that the thrumming you felt earlier was your heart and not the music.

You were practically in front of them and yet they paid you no mind. In their own little bubble, ignorant to the storm inside you. “Yah… Yoon Jeonghan, are you fucking kidding me?”

Jeonghan glanced at you slowly, like he hadn’t a care in the world for whoever was interrupting him, only to sit up from his slouched position, eyes wide in shock. Instantly pulling away from the girl that had basically plastered herself onto him. “Y-Y/N! What are you doing here?” He managed to stutter out, frantically looking around, unsure of how you got there.

“I should be asking you the same thing. The PLEDIS building sure got a damn upgrade since the last time I was there,” the venom in your voice apparent even over the loud music.

“Baby, please, it’s not what it looks like!” He gets up from his seat to get into your personal bubble to be heard. You see from your peripheral that the girl he was with slink off to somewhere else. The booming of the music made it hard to hear him but it’s easy to tell that he was trying to make excuses. Jeonghan probably felt the same way because in the next instance he was grabbing you by the arm and all but dragged you to the outside smoking balcony. You try to jerk free but he’s stronger than you, though he is struggling.

“Let me go!”

The balcony is empty of other people surprisingly and the music is still loud out there but at least you’re able to hear each other better as he whorls around to face you.

“Not until you hear me out!”

“There’s nothing for me to hear! It looks like my boyfriend was about to get Real. Fucking. Personal. With. Someone. Else.” You punctuate each word with a jab to his chest.

He grabs on to the appendage only to then forcefully let go as he steps away from you. The tick in his jaw letting you know he was already annoyed.

Good. So were you.

“Look would you just chill the fuck out! We weren’t even doing anything.”

“…She was sitting on your lap and you weren’t doing shit about it…”

“So she was sitting on my lap, who the fuck cares?”

“I do! And as my “boyfriend”, you should have had some respect for your partner and not do shit like that! How do you think that makes me feel Jeong?”

“Oh my god babe, it’s not that serious,” he says as he rolls his eyes, as if exasperated. He raked a hand through his hair, frustration evident in his body language.

“Ok, so if you were to see me with some random guy in the position you were in just now, it’d be fine? Is what you’re telling me?” You question hypothetically while aggressively gesturing to the building behind you.

“Babe…”

“No, I want to understand. Cause you’re saying it wasn’t that bad right? So I can just go inside and find some guy to get with and you’ll be ok with it, right?”

“…You’re starting to piss me off.”

“News flash, I’m already pissed off. If Nayeon hadn’t—”

“Nayeon? Oh yeah,” he spat out as he rolled his neck, “now it makes so much fucking sense. You know she fucking hates me babe, hasn’t liked me since you introduced us eight months ago. I told you she’s not a good friend if she keeps trying to break us up.”

“Oh my god, not this again...,” Now it’s your turn to roll your eyes.

“She’s always putting shit inside your head about us! She’ll say anything—"

“That’s not the fucking point right now! The point is that if you’re willing to do this in front of people, what kind of things are you doing when no one’s a-fucking-round! I know what I saw Jeonghan!”

“Jesus fuck! I made out with someone one time at a party and now you hold it over my head!”

“Because if DK and I hadn’t’ve caught you you probably would have slept with her! You practically had your hand up her dress that time!”

“She literally means nothing to me!”

“So, you’re willing to risk our relationship for nothing?”

“You’re being so dramatic right now for no reason!”

“No reason?” You were stunned.

“It’s not that big a deal! God, if I had known that you were going to be this insecure about our relationship, I wouldn’t have even asked you out!”

“I’m only like this because of what you did!”

The both of you were far too into your heated argument to notice that the door to the balcony open and close.

Only a split second passed as Jeonghan latched onto your arm tightly again and got in your face. You whimper out at the sudden contact knowing full well you’d most likely have a hand shaped bruise to cover up later.

You wince as pain radiates up your arm.

“Let’s get one thing fucking straight—”

But he never got the chance to finish his sentence as he was forcefully yanked away from you. The familiar multicolored hair of you bandmember stands in front of you as Jeonghan nurses his now bruising cheek.

“Felix…?” You whisper in wonder. What was he doing there? How did he know where to find you? Your heart picks up from the adrenaline of this night.

“Don’t you ever put your hands on her again, do you hear me?” Felix said evenly, glaring daggers at Jeonghan. Felix may have been shorter than him but in that moment, he was the most intimidating of the two.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Saturday, 2:19 AM, Felix’s bedroom – VOCALRACHA dorm

You sat in the back of the blacked-out car that Felix has pulled up in. The driver giving the two of you a moment as Felix comforts your hunched over crying form.

You had learned that when you had first confronted Jeonghan, Nayeon had a feeling something would go wrong and immediately went to call Felix. He had been in the middle of playing one of his games when he got the call and proceeded to also sneak out if his dorm to meet her at the front of the club. From there, he got the gist of the information and made his way upstairs with the thought of being a mediator. Only with what he witnessed, it quickly put an end to that idea.

It was Felix who had opened the door to the balcony in the middle of your argument and lost it when Jeonghan put his hands on you.

After that was a bit of a blur for you as Nayeon and Felix maneuvered you through the club discreetly in case someone saw and the media get a hold of that information. All you knew is that Jeonghan tried to come at the two of you but the 63 taekwondo medal holder put him in his place. Felix eventually managed to get you out of there safely but not before letting you confirm out loud that it was officially over between you and Jeonghan.

Jeonghan was too busy writhing in pain to argue back.

So here you were, finally allowing yourself to feel all the emotions of the night, crying into Felix as he pats your hair soothingly, protective arm wrapped around you.

“I’m sorry you had to come out h-here,” you hiccup.

“It’s alright Jellybean, I’m just glad I got there in time to stop him from doing anything more to you. How’s your arm?”

Sniffling, you pull back from him and shift your arm forward. He turns on the flashlight from his phone to see and the both of you come face to face with the repercussions of angry actions. As you thought, an outline of bruised digits were beginning to form like a bad tattoo on your bicep.

He sucks a breath between his teeth as he ghosts his fingers over the bruise. He’s silent as he tries to reel in his anger as he fights himself on going back inside and beating the shit out of the other idol.

But one look at your tear-stained face stops him.

“I’ll tell Chan and Lee Know-hyung that I called you over to our dorm later so they won’t go looking for you. That way you can just stay in my room.”

“Oh Lix, you don’t have—”

“No it’s ok, I don’t think you should be alone right now and I’m pretty sure you don’t want anyone to know about what happened.”

You stay quiet because you know he’s right. Reluctantly, you nod at his offer, grateful for the angel of your group.

He gives you a small sad smile as he brings you back into his arms, placing a comforting kiss on your head. Doesn’t say a word when you quietly start to cry again; just continues to pat your hair as the driver comes back into the car and takes the both of you back to Felix’s dorm.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

You spent a total of 5 days in Felix’s room, crying. You finally managed to explain to Felix that you and Jeonghan had been secretly dating for about 10 months until then but that he had already cheated one you at least once, that you know of, before at an after party of one of the award shows. One of Jeonghan’s members had been with you when you caught him in the act and had gotten you out of there before a scene was caused.

You’d forgiven him after some heavy persuasion on his part but that left you feeling insecure about the relationship since it happened just about a month ago. He’d always had anger issues, but the night at the club was the first time he ever tried to grab you like that. When Nayeon eunnie messaged you that Friday night about seeing him with a different girl this time; you had to confront him before he had a chance to deny it.

You felt bad but Felix kept reassuring you that it was ok that you stayed there and that made you want to cry more. As he promised, he messaged the oldest members of your whereabouts. And with good timing too since according to Chan, Hyunjin had went into your room Saturday morning to wake you for the morning skin routine, but you were gone and he was about ready to freak out.

After that first night, Felix came up with the plan to say that you got hit with a weird bug and that it’d be too much of a hassle to move you back to your room in the 3RACHA dorm (plus  you and Hyunjin) so you might as well just stay in his room for the time being. Minho came to check on you that night, but Felix managed to convince him that it wasn’t bad enough to go to the hospital; you just needed to rest and eat something not too heavy. It wasn’t that far off from the truth honestly, and it was a good excuse to stop anyone else from checking up on you.

So Felix’s room was now a designated “quarantine zone” and no one was allowed to go in and bother you. Felix being the only one able to go in and out since it was his room after all. Your phone had been bombarded with texts from all your members trying to check up on you, pinging every few minutes with memes and well wishes. It wasn’t until you kept getting back-to-back calls and texts from your now ex-boyfriend that you turned off your phone, not wanting to deal with him now or ever again.

Just like you thought, the bruise on your arm had gotten darker and it was easy to tell what had caused it. With just one glance at your arm, you knew that with how protective the guys were over you, that the entirety of Stray Kids would go looking for a fight with your ex and your group absolutely did not need any heat in the media right now. It was hard enough keeping Lix from going out there once he looked at your arm again and taking matters into his own hands. Let alone all eight of them if word got out.

No, you had just wanted to wallow in self-pity for now.

Currently, Felix sat next to you in bed as you lay curled up by his side. He was letting you know that Chan had stopped by again to check on you when you were asleep earlier and had left you your designated SKZOO, a bear cub named Gom-N/N-ie, to “help you feel bettah.” You felt guilty for lying to him, all of them really, after that while accepting your SKZOO from the sunshine man. Bringing it to your chest, you bury your face in the familiar feeling of your plushie.

“You know you don’t have to go tomorrow, right? We can tell the managers that you’re sick, too,” Felix’s deep voice broke through the quiet of the room from his spot next to you as he gently combed his fingers through your hair. Tomorrow all of you were to begin shooting for a special new episode of SKZ Code for Chuseok. You’d completely forgot about it until you overheard Minho and Innie talking about it outside of the door earlier.

You were quiet for a moment, contemplating on what you should say and do. You know you can’t keep hiding out in Felix’s room like this, it’s not fair to him. He doesn’t like lying to the other members either yet is doing it just for your sake. He’s been working hard to deflect any and all questions, comments and concerns about your wellbeing while also placating everyone else. You’ve definitely put your younger member in a difficult position.

You owe him a lot, your little sunshine.

“…I’ll go.”

His hand stills in your hair, waiting to see if you’ll say anything else.

“I’ll go with everyone tomorrow. You’re probably sick of me being in here anyways,” you quietly laugh out.

“Naur, what?” His Aussie accent coming out as he switches from Korean to English and back again. “I’m not sick of you, I could never be. If anything, the others are jealous cause I’m the only one that’s gotten to see you!”

“That’s such a lie, Lee Yongbok!” you finally laugh out loud for the first time since Friday night while swatting him in the leg playfully.

“It’s true, noona! Binnie Hyung was about ready to tackle me to get inside the room yesterday!”

The image alone of your buff bun trying to tackle your sunshine lad had you in stitches. What you didn’t see was the loving gaze of said sunshine, glad to see you at least somewhat happy again after everything that’s happened.

For this moment in time, that’s all he could ask for.

Felix gently grazes his fingers over your bruised arm, his smile slightly faltering at what he sees. Moving his hand back to your hair, he gently pulls a few strands just to get your attention.

“It’s gonna be ok, you know. I’ll be there to help you if you need it, alright? You’re not gonna be alone.”

“I know Lix…thank you. For everything.,” you respond quietly.

His only action is to bend down and give you another comforting forehead kiss. The two of you remain quiet for the rest of the night until it was time for bed.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Thursday, 8:15 AM, VOCALRACHA dorm

As soon as you followed Felix out of the bedroom, you were accosted by the one and only  maknae on top.

“Noona!” Jeongin yelled out, too loud for what time it was. “Are you feeling better? Do you need more medicine, a doctor?”

“Yah! Let her breathe.” The three of you jump in the middle of the hallway as the admonishing tone of Minho could be distinguished from the kitchen. He’d probably heard Innie from all the way over there.

Chuckling, you give him a small smile and a pat to his head to calm him down.

“I’m ok right now Innie, thank you for checking up on me.”

“You really had us worried noona, Lee Know-hyung was about to burst in there and take you to the hospital himself as soon as he found out you weren’t feeling good if it weren’t for Felix hyung.”

You’d figured something like that was bound to happen. You were even more grateful to Felix for all his efforts. You giggle at his comment and the three of you continue to the kitchen where Seungmin was also waiting.

“Morning everyone,” you greeted, sitting down next to the second youngest of you all.

“Are you sure you’re feeling ok enough to shoot today?” Seungmin asks quietly while placing a cup of juice in front of you which you gratefully take. You nod in agreeance as a bowl of porridge is placed in front of you. Minho pats your head before walking away to get the other dishes for breakfast.

“We’ll let the director-nim know that you should take it easier today at least,” he says while serving the rest of the guys at the table. Before you can protest, he sends you a heated look that leaves no room for argument.

With a twitch to your lips, you can’t help but to agree with him too. “I understand, thank you for breakfast.”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Thursday, 11:15 AM – SKZ Code shoot location, dressing room 1

Meeting the other half of your group went just about the same. Except more scolding from Hyunjin for skipping out on your daily routine. Although that was mostly an excuse because he was just so worried when he didn’t see you in your room that first morning.

“Really Y/N-ie, you should have messaged me first!” the pout on his lips not hard to find as he tugs on your sleeve.

“Y/N-ah, you should have seen him!” the boisterous voice of Changbin joins the two of you as you sit in your designated dressing room waiting for your leader’s return. The two of them immediately ambushing you, much like Jeongin this morning, upon your arrival. “He wouldn’t stop bothering Channie hyung for information on how you were doing!”

That evokes the lankier one of the two to get flustered and from there the two start a playful argument of no-I-wasn’t’s and yes-you-were’s. Just being with them again really did set your mind and heart at easy after the past couple of days. Not to mention a good distraction.

A quiet “noona” catches your attention from the squabble in front of you and has you turning to face Han questioningly.

“I brought you a red ginseng drink to keep your health up today.”

You wanted to cry again for an altogether different reason. Your members cared for you so much, each in their own different ways. You don’t know what you’d do without them.

“Ahh, thank you, Hannie. I’ll drink this right now.” The initial taste of the ginger is gross but it had a hint of sweetness at the end so the overall drink wasn’t too bad. Especially if you try to take it all in one go.

Han sits next to you on the couch, Felix following shortly after, as I.N and Minho join in on the fray to annoy the already hyped-up boys. Although they could all be loud and wild sometimes, it was just a part of their charm.

Chan comes back into the room about 5 minutes later gaining everyone’s attention.

“Alright, I got everything squared away with the director and producers. Y/N, they know you’re just getting better,” he states, staring directly at you as if he—, no there was no way, right? “So, you’re going to be given more of the easier things to do alright?”

The panic in your head only allows you to nod at him as you grab Felix’s hand for a quiet support. He doesn’t skip a beat in intertwining your hands together.

“Great, we’ve got 10 minutes before they want us to start going to make up and changing. Then we’re all going to film an intro piece for the episode. Anyone have any questions or problems with that?

When no one responded, Chan just nods and heads to the far corner and sits with his phone for a bit. You can’t help but think you feel his gaze every once in a while but brush it off as paranoia.

The time eventually comes to split off as the boys go to their own designated dressing room and you stay in the current one. The stylists helping you to get ready for what is surely to be an interesting shoot if the hanbok you have to wear is anything to go off of.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Thursday, 1:15 PM – SKZ Code shoot location

[I.N - Lee Know's younger sister, Yongbok and Y/N's aunt]

[Changbin - High school jock / Always steps up to keep his family together]

[HAN - A sweet but strict father (But somewhat seems polite)]

[Hyunjin - The sassy mother]

[Lee Know - A tough woman but a lenient mother to Yongbok and Y/N]

[Seungmin - Survives through the attacks by Lee Know, I.N, and daughter’s Y/N and Yongbok]

[Yongbok - Sassy and brave like his mom, sister, and aunt]

[Bang Chan - The youngest son, loves his mom the most and hates his brother / Is always losing out to cousin Yongbok]

[Y/N – The exasperated oldest of the grandkids back from university/ Yongbok’s sister]

One rainy Chuseok morning, the SKZ Family are gathering in a long while today CHUSEOK SPECIAL : SKZ Family Returns

You stand off to the side, waiting for your cue to join, with the rest of the group as Channie and Felix do the beginning of the intro skit. It’s hard to keep the giggles in with how cute the both of them look and act.

“Hi...,” Chan started out shyly.

“Hi!” Felix sassed out immediately in response.

“How old are you?”

Felix counts slowly with his fingers, “…Three. How about you?”

“I’m five. I’m older than you.”

Felix plucks out two more digits to make five on his hand.

“You’re right.”

“Mm”

“You don’t look older though.”

“Why are you talking down to me?”

“Mind your own business.”

“Don’t talk down to me!”

“Don’t yell!”

“Okay…,” Chan whispers out. “Mommy!”

“Daddy!”

They both start crying and that’s your you cue to walk into the frame behind them.

“Hey! Stop crying!”

“Noona!” “Eunnie!”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Filming was going smoothly so far. It was just the beginning though so nothing too taxing had happened yet. Felix just finished introducing himself as three-year-old Yongbok who gets her good looks from her mom and wants to live with her mother after their divorce.

“Waaah, my little sister is so cute,” you say out loud with a smile, Felix sticking his tongue out at you in response.

“Yes, both of my daughters are so cute,” Lee Know says while pinching your cheek since you sat beside him. There went your smile.

“Ahh! Mom!”

“Y/N-ie, it’s your turn to introduce yourself,” Seungmin, as your father, says not even bothering to help you out. You make a noncommittal sound as you fight with Lee Know to let go of your cheek still. More than half the guys laughing at your antics.

“Mom, please!”

“Ohh, but how can I let go of these cheeks huh,” he says in a babying tone, as he does in fact, let you go.

You rub your cheek as you sit down on the stool and face the proper direction.

“Hello, I’m Yongbok’s older sister, Y/N. I’m tirelessly working on maintaining my high marks in school but currently on break from university. So I’m glad to be home and able to spend this time with my family.”

“You get you book smarts from your dad,” Han says chuckling.

“And your street smarts from your mom,” Seungmin joins in. Lee Know, jokingly takes the bubble gun blower in front of him and aims it at his ‘husband’.

“That’s right, so you better watch what you say.”

You’re laughing at the scene before you as Hyunjin continues the skit, “Y/N-ie, what are you studying in college?”

“Uhh,” you didn’t really have a concept for this character, until you lock eyes with Chan and then the kiddie computer in front of him. “I’m studying…m-music producing?” you get out before laughing since producing was certainly not your forte. And everyone in front of you knew that.

“Noona is so cool,” Chan says from his spot on the ground. “Better than my older brother.”

“Aww, thanks Channie,” you beam at him as he beams back.

“Yah Bang Chan!” Binnie yells from behind him before yelling in pain because Chan leaned back against his legs.

“Changbin, don’t yell at you brother,” Hyunjin says as his mom.

“Mmm, my daughter is so talented. Getting in the best university of the country, getting good grades and look at her face, just like me,” He strikes a little pose. “Maybe next holiday she’ll bring home a boyfriend,” Lee Know continues in character.

The smile on your face freezes as your heart zings in pain. You’ve become still in your seat as you feel Felix’s eyes on you. He being the only ones to notice your hands balling into fists on your skirt.

“…Mom,” you start off slowly. Your hesitancy easily mistakable for your character’s young adult/college student love life being interrogated by their parent. “That’s…”

“She doesn’t need to be dating in college,” Seungmin cuts you off. “We met in college and now we’re getting a divorce!”

“Yeah but she won’t meet a mistake like you and go through any hardships. So she’ll be fine .”

Grin faltering, you begin to bite the inside of your lip to stop your eyes from getting glossy. Your nose starting to sting, a tale tell sign that you wanted to cry. Your actual hardships flashing in your mind.

“Mommy, daddy, don’t fight,” Felix tries to distract them.

“We’re not fighting,” Lee Know quickly responds as you get up from your seat to switch places with him. Felix quickly looping his arm around yours, taking your hand in his, giving it a quick squeeze.

You give him one back as you stare at a spot by your feet.

.

.

.

Despite the earlier hiccup, everything was going fine. Both Lee Know and Seungmin went on to introduce themselves, which was a skit about how Lee Know got married for money and that they were in the process of getting a divorce more than anything. And then Innie looking out for his nieces because what was said in front of them.

It was then decided that Yongbok was going with Lee Know and you were going with Seungmin. Both kids pouting at this information for being separated.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Next up was Han, who’s outfit immediately got torn to pieces by everyone in the room. Him trying to explain that he got his style from his father caused everyone to derail in laughter.

He brings back everyone’s attention by restarting his introduction.

“I’m Yongbok and Y/N-ie’s uncle, but I could be their new father.”

“Their new father?” Lee Know questions immediately as you and Felix looked shocked at him.

“I mean, I’ll be that much kinder to them.”

A few of the members understand what he means by that and Hyunjin speaks up in relief, “I was worried.”

“Hey, just a few days ago,” Seungmin speaks up from beside you asking a seemingly innocent question until it wasn’t. “Did you enjoy dinner with the friend I introduced to you?”

There was a pause in the room. Han looking a little shell-shocked as he responds.

“Why are you mentioning that now?”

Everyone’s quiet as Hyunjin gets up from his seated position. Your heartbeat picking up, flashes of your very recent tragedy of a relationship flashing in your mind. All the heartache came rushing back as the scene before you kept unfolding. Your heartbeat picking up in your chest as you look between the two.

“What does that mean?” Hyunjin asked cluelessly.

“You knew mom’s a jealous person!” Changbin yells from his spot next to I.N.

You can’t say anything as the ball of emotions in your throat gets bigger. Felix tries to comfort you but gets pulled away by Lee Know who’s trying to cover his eyes.

“Close your eyes and open your nose,” he says to Felix. If only you could shut out the blood rushing in your ears.

The deep breath that Hyunjin takes is something you felt from deep within your core. “Try explaining yourself.”

“What?”

“Try explaining.”

“You didn’t tell her?” Seungmin jumps in with a grin, making the situation worse. “I thought you did.”

It’s a joke. It’s a joke. It’s a joke.

You repeat to yourself as you try to control your breathing. It’s not their fault that you basically went through something so distressingly similar not even a week ago and they didn’t know about it. Staring at your lap, your hands begin to tremble and you can just feel your lips wobbling.

“Honey,” Han laughs out nervously.

“Was she prettier than me?”

You bring your hands up to cover part of your face. That had been one of many questions that had been plaguing you since the first time Jeonghan had cheated on you. You never got a good look at the first girl and the second girl was definitely pretty to you. You close your eyes, eyebrows furrowing, to try to block out the scene. You hope they can’t here you sniffling.

“…Yaaahh,” is all that Han can respond with, wanting to avoid answering the question.

Did he even feel guilty for what he did? Or did he just move on as if the last 10 months together didn’t mean anything?

 A warm hand on your knee makes you open your eyes and you’re met with Chan’s concerned gaze as your eyesight becomes blurry with the tears quickly gathering there. His concern quickly becomes full on worry as a single tear drops down your cheek.

You needed to get out of there, quickly. It was a wonder how the others haven’t picked up on how upset you’re getting.

“Mom, no one’s prettier than you,” Changbin pipes up as he stands up next to Hyunjin.

“That’s right!”

Did Jeonghan ask his members not to tell you anything? Were they in on everything?

 “Lee Know…?” Han questions.

“Huh?”

“Don’t tell them we met yesterday.”

Would they have told you if they knew? Or did they all laugh about you behind their backs? Did Jeonghan even like you, or did he just keep you around because you were convenient?

This endless cycle of negative questions kept spiraling in your mind as the skit the boys were doing continued to play out before you.

Lee Know, with a grin on his face, turns to look at Hyunjin who’s sat down next to Seungmin again. “It’s fine, I saw someone today too.” Hyunjin says in retaliation as he grabs onto Seungmin.

“Wait a minute…” Han starts but you’ve had enough by this point. The sob you try to hide was heard throughout the group and everyone freezes.

You hurriedly get up from your spot between Seungmin and Felix and trip twice trying to get out of there. The chaos that ensues as the fabric of your hanbok getting caught under your foot was instantaneous as Chan, Changbin, and Felix immediately try to catch you. The small leg space not making it easy to leave quickly.

“Noona?” I.N asks fearfully, breaking character as he sees the state that you’re in.

“Y/N-ah?” Minho asks from his side of the couch starting to get up from his seat.

Han, Seungmin, and Hyunjin quiet in their shock of what’s happening.

“Sorry—,  I—, Please…,” you sob out as you finally get out of the cramped space. Felix and Chan following right behind you as you run to the restroom to lock yourself in there. The door closing in both of their faces. The brief look at your expression, blotchy and covered in tears, breaking their hearts.

You hug yourself as you slide down against the door, finally allowing yourself to cry fully. Even through your sobs, you can hear the other members coming up to the other side of the door to check on you. You could faintly make out the deep timbre of Felix’s voice most likely trying to diffuse the situation which makes you cry more. You weren’t ready to face any of this, or them, now. Should have just stayed home instead of making a mess like this.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed when you heard a gentle knock on the door behind you. Your tears still flowing slowly but at least you weren’t full on sobbing now. Sniffling, you’re hesitant as you look towards the locked doorknob.

“Y/N-ah, it’s just me,” Chan says from the other side. “Everyone else went to go talk to the manager and director to give us a break right now.”

Not saying anything, he clears his throat before asking quietly, “Do you think you can let me in?”

The double entendre isn’t lost on you. Whether Chan knew what he said or not was unknown to you. With some tentativeness, you manage to wiggle to the wall to be able to unlock and open the door for him.

Chan slips into the restroom and closes the door swiftly behind him. You look small to him as you sat huddled into yourself on the ground. Not like your usual boisterous self. He doesn’t say anything as he sits down next to you. Doesn’t pressure you to say anything, either. Just sits with you, waiting patiently for you to be comfortable enough to tell him what’s wrong.

So you sit there in silence for a few moments more. Trying to gather the courage to lay yourself emotionally bare to your leader. You pick at the fabric you have on, sniffling every now and then until Chan gently places his hand over yours in comfort. And to probably stop you from tearing a hole in your clothes…

He lets you play with his hand until you manage to take a deep breath. For the second time since the whole fiasco happened, you find yourself confiding your problem with a member. Going into a bit more detail than what you did with Felix.

You told Chan everything while on the floor in that little restroom.

How you first met Jeonghan, how you kept bumping into him after the shows you all did, how you ended up exchanging numbers. To how you kept in touch after that, kept meeting up until he eventually asked you out. Occasionally sneaking out of the dorm to meet up with him at his insistence.

You thought Chan would get mad at that, but he didn’t say anything. Just squeezed your hand to get you to continue with your story.

You told Chan how you caught Jeonghan cheating the first time, and how DK all but dragged you out of there but it didn’t even matter because you saw everything. That messed you up mentally and was the reason why you had messed up a lot during dance practice the next day.

Chan remembers the day you were talking about. He thought something was wrong but kept it to himself, hoping you’d come talk to him about it, but you never did.

You explained the fight that happened a week after catching him back then. How you eventually, and stupidly, ended up forgiving him and continuing the relationship only for him to go behind your back and do it again a couple of days ago.

“So you weren’t sick?” he cuts in, finally breaking his silence.

“I mean…not in the contagious sense…,” you explain while turning to him. He nods, letting you continue as he tries to wipe the dried tears off your face.

“So yeah, Nayeon called me up that Friday night and I had to sneak out to Hongdae. Sorry…about that by the way…,” you clear your throat, avoiding eye contact with him altogether. “So I saw him literally in the act again and had to confront him about it this time. We ended up going outside and basically just having an all-out screaming match with each other. Where, by the way, he tried to gaslight the shit out of me, but it didn’t work. Thankfully, Felix showed up when he did though because Jeonghan ended up grabbing me really hard. Who knows what he could have done if Lix hadn’t gotten there in time.”

You let go of Chan’s hand, which was still intertwined with yours, to rub against your bruised shoulder.

“Wait…he put his hands on you?”

You don’t pick up on his tone as you nod and take off the jeogori jacket layer of your hanbok. Presenting your, now, heavily bruised arm, Chan takes it delicately in his hands.

“I asked the stylist to try to use coverup on it, but it was just so dark and it still hurt so she couldn’t do much about it in the end.”

Gently, he touches the colorfully marred skin not saying a word, his jaw ticking in anger at what he’s seeing.

You don’t even get a word out before he’s up and bolting out of the restroom. Face clouded in rage.

“Ch-Chan!” Scrambling, you grab the jeogori from the ground and run after him, not even bothering to put it back on. “Channie, wait!”

The other members of your group had managed to clear the room of the staff and had been hovering close the door the entire time, waiting patiently for the two of you to come out. What they weren’t expecting was an infuriated Chan and an anxious you to come out of there.

“What’s happening,” Changbin asked, lowkey getting worked up just seeing his leader on edge.

“I’m gonna kill him,” is all Chan says.

“Who?” Han asks, also getting anxious.

“Noona, what happened to your arm?” Innie asks from beside you, gently grabbing your bruised arm. That captures everyone else’s attention. Your face pales as you realize your mistake.

“Is that a bruise?” “Why does it look like a hand?” “Who the hell touched you?” “Noona, are you ok?”

“I— ,” you’re on the verge of panicking, not knowing what to do.

This catches Chan’s attention and breaks the trance of rage he’s in. He makes his way back to you and brings you into a big hug. He holds you in his arms as you try to hide away from everyone’s prying eyes.

But honestly, they’re just so worried about you.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Channie whispers into your hair. Shaking your head, you understand everyone’s concerns, you just wish it wasn’t revealed this way.

Keeping your face in Chan’s chest to hide, your muffled response is heard. “Long story short, I got into it with an ex a couple of days ago because he was cheating and he…put his hands on me…”

Just like you thought, they were all visibly upset for you.

“This happened to you…and I was…” Han became visibly pale compared to the others as his actions up until you ran out sprang to his mind. That prompted the other boys, besides Felix, to realize why you had gotten upset enough to leave the set in the first place. All of them immediately apologizing to you, getting upset with themselves and begging for your forgiveness.

“Who is it?” Seungmin asks menacingly from somewhere behind you, voice quivering with emotion. Guard dog mode being activated.

“No, guys—”

“He’s gonna wish he only got a bruised arm once I’m done with him,” Changbin says while rolling his neck in annoyance now. Minho and Felix are taking off their own hanbok’s as I.N and Hyunjin stretch out themselves, preparing for a beatdown.

“Noona, seriously, who did this to you?” Han asks you quietly next to you, mood sad yet protective.

“Guys really, there’s nothing to forgive. You didn’t know what was going on, you don’t have to do anything,” You pipe up, finally pulling away from Chan a little. His arms tighten around you slightly, not wanting to let you go fully.

“Y/N-ah, we have every right to want to have your back on this. He’s not gonna get away with putting his hands on you,” Chan explains to you still upset about all the information that you’ve shared with him.

“No, I get that, I swear,” you rotate in his arms to face the others. “I appreciate all of you wanting to go and kick his ass. But I swear it’s not necessary. Felix already beat the shit out of him. His company put out a statement saying he’s taking a break for a bit for ‘health reasons’.”

All of you turn to Felix, who’s now taking off his headband, cool expression on his face. “I’m not against kicking his ass again, Jellybean.”

You stare at him dumbfounded until you burst into laughter because of course he wouldn’t. None of them would be. Because this is your family away from family. They’re dead set in wanting to protect you, and each other, from any and everything that could be harmful.

The others stare at you as if you’ve finally lost your mind which prompts you to just say, “I love you guys.”

Felix, besides Chan who is still holding you, is the first to step up and give you a very much needed hug. A little confused, the rest of the guys follow suit and you all end up in one massive hug.

Until one of the younger boys starts fighting with Changbin and they all break away.

“Don’t think this lets you off the hook for sneaking out of the dorm, Y/N-ah,” Chan says out loud from behind you as you’re still wrapped in his arms.

“You did what?!” Minho could be heard yelling, which causes you to groan.

© hippopotamusdreamer, est 2024. all rights reserved.

[klaudeapangea]

ₐₛ ᵢₜ ₛₕₒᵤₗd || bₐₙg ⱼₑₑₘᵢₙ ₓ fₑₘ!ᵣₑₐdₑᵣ

ₛyₙₒₚₛᵢₛ: during izna's first concert, jeemin noticed how often you were looking at koko and decided to whine about it.

ₜₐgₛ: fluff!

wₒᵣd cₒᵤₙₜ: 3k

ₐ/ₙ: ik izna hasn't even debuted yet but they already have a concert in this fic lmao. also, just couldn't sleep so i decided to post a fic after months🤗 hope you enjoy it! (lol dont shade me pls)

"babyyy..." jeemin pouted as she wrapped her arms around you. her body pressed against your back as she gently swayed your body side-to-side.

"you didn't look at me earlier. you were staring at koko.. do you like her more than me, hm?" she continued to whine. her chin resting on your shoulder while her face was facing your side profile, occasionally rubbing her nose against your hair to smell your scent.

see, you've always been dreaming of jeemin clinging onto you and being lovey-dovey with her since the moment you fell for her puppy smiles and adorable actions, but now, here you are stuck to this leach, a cute one.

"ugh jeemin, not this again," you rolled your eyes as you turned on the faucet, rinsing out the soap off the plates.

"you're not answering my question," she pouted. her grip around you tightening as she buried her face at the back of your neck.

you sighed, "jeemin, who am i dating right now?"

"me?" she muttered, her face still buried in your neck.

"exactly," the dishes made clacking sounds as you placed the clean dishes away, "im dating you, not koko unnie."

once you closed the cabinet, you turned around to face her in her arms.

"that still doesn't answe-" you shushed her immediately before she could finish her sentence. she looked at you puzzled, her eyes glancing down at your hands over her mouth, "baby, your hands are wet.." looking at you confusedly while her voice was muffled by your hand.

"im dating you," you finally let go of her mouth. your gaze glanced down at her lower face, noticing the water traces left by your hand.

you giggled while she still looked at you puzzled. you grabbed a tissue near you to wipe her face.

there was a comfortable silence between the two of you other than the subtly shifting sounds of the tissue you were using to wipe her face.

you held her chin, tilting it down slightly so it'd be easier for you to clean her up. meanwhile, she was stuck staring at you. her eyes memorizing every feature of your face. the way your lashes flutter whenever your eyeballs move. how you pursed your lips whenever you're focused deeply at the task at hand. the way your hair falls perfectly on your face.

she grabbed your wrist to stop you. her eyes pierced yours as she moved closer.

you felt your breath hitching as she moved closer. the more she leaned, the more you feared she'd be able to hear the loud and fast beating of your heart, and the quickening pace of your pulse in your wrist and neck.

"koko or me?"

you raised an eyebrow. again?

"me," you said confidently. you can see the pout forming on her lips as you teased her.

"that's not wha.. you know what i mean! answer it properly, please?" she pouted as she looked at you with her puppy eyes. you rolled your eyes playfully before hitting her on the chest gently.

"you, dumbass.."

her eyes gleamed with joy, "really?!?"

"yessss," you chuckled as you wrapped your arms around her in a tight embrace, her face instinctively buried into your neck while you only rested your head on her shoulder.

"it's a given already.."

"as it should."

ₐ/ₙ: eeeeek ik it's lame don't shade me i love small interactions like this🥺

[neonovember]

LMAO you know that trend where people put a slice of cheese on a baby’s head? Richie is DEFINITELY the type to do that with yours and Carmen’s new baby, does it when Carmen isn’t looking because “I don’t have a death wish” Too late. Papa Bear’s already seen and now Sugar has the most hilarious video of Richie screaming for his life as Carmy’s running at Mach 5 speed to catch him

this is most definitely going to be a fic from the husband!carmen verse..keep ‘em coming because its about to be WORLDS of universes for Carmen soon 😈

Carmen is sooo protective over you during your pregnancy it borders on possessive till the point sugar tells him to chill out. Now imagine, fucking imagine when your baby is here and Richie throws some horribly processed, mustard orange slice of cheese on his head? I think they will be a warrant out for Carmen’s arrest once he’s done with him 😭😭

“What did he just do?” Carmen zeroes in on the soft skin of his newborn’s head, the square of yellow cheese stuck to her forehead. she isn’t fussed, merely looking up at Richie in curiousness.

You hold back a giggle as you press your girl to your chest, taking the incriminating American delicacy off of her head before she started feeling uncomfortable. You saw this trend circulating around online, and of course it had to be Richie who actually participated in it.

“I’m giving you 10 seconds Richie” Carmen replies in that deadly quiet voice of his, hands gripping the towel on his shoulder. You had invited Richie and some others over for a little lunch, and now you feared it'll take months before Richie to taste anything without a straw.

“Oh c’mon cousin, it’s all a little fun” Richie replies, rolling his eyes, not realising the very real way Carmen’s arm twitches as if a predator getting ready for the chase.

“5..” Carmen begins to count down, his voice sweet and delicate

“Hey! Cousin! That’s cheatin, you said 10!” Richie calls out, backing away from Carmen walking towards him out of the kitchen.

“And you fucking put cheese on my baby!” Carmen screams, before Richie runs around the kitchen island, Carmen hot on his heels as they follow themselves out of the living room and into the front porch, Richie's muffled screams and pleads turning the neighbours heads.

God you hoped Richie had good health insurance.

[rainswept]

you ask for Fontaine brain rot/reqs, I deliver.

So idk if you've done the recent archon quest and lyney/lynette story quest so if you haven;t be careful caus i will be spoling !

SO

That part where Lyney is freaking out over Freminet and Lynette had me SCREAMING especially since ive done their story quest AND ALSO FRIENDSHIP 10 LYNEY SO I HAVE THE LORE AND IT HURTS SM but I won't spoil all that for u-

so anyways, i started thinking, imagine Lyney has a lover who's been with the siblings for years (and also works for Arlecchino) and is considered another sibling by Lynette and Freminet. They were also diving with Freminet when they encountered water from the primordial sea

now imagine clorinde can only take one person with her at a time when she pulls them back, and she saves Freminet first, later going back for Lyney's s/o

Eventually Freminet wakes up like he does in the quest, but the reader just.. doesn't. Hours pass and the siblings are freaking tf out because they don't want to lose anyone.

(now I can't decide if I crave angst or if I want to comfort my babies so ill give my headcanons for both shiguegoe)

angst: Lyney's lover keeps deteriorating, parts of them gradually turning blue and quite literally withering away (caus you know the water and the dissapearances- yeah-) and the siblings can do nothing but watch

Lynette shuts down more frequently and for longer periods, not even saying anything to Lyney

Freminet blames himself for not noticing sooner, for not getting them out sooner

And then there's Lyney.. he blames himself for not only putting his siblings in danger, but losing his lover...

He sits by their bed watching as they wither away, holding their hand. He knows Father will be upset by his lack of comitment to the mission but he can't bring himself to care

The day they pass, no one says a word. They continue with their mission, report to Father, go on with their Fontainian lives until they're alone and they cry. they cry and scream and curse whatever archons or god's are listening.

AND NOW BEFORE I CRY THE HAPPIER VERSION

After days of not waking up, they finally open their eyes.

Lyney is fretting over them asking if they know where they are, who he is, what happened etc

now to throw in a tidbit of angst, what if they awoke with some disability? like they cant see anymore, they can't hear properly, cant walk properly etc

Lyney and Freminet would devasted because they blame themselves. Lynette would be quick to remind her brothers at least everyone is alive.

It'd be bad because with a disability, they can't work for Father anymore, or at least not the way they used to

AHHEOGUHEOG im stuck in a neverending brain rot my guy

Anyways. I was actually going to request for you to write your own take on this but you don't have to if you dont want- even just hearing your take would be nice lmao

also if its ok i reallly wanna be mutuals! I just found you blog and im obssesed!! I really wanna be friends<3

NO BECAUSE I SCREECHED SO LOUD MULTIPLE TIMES READING THIS !! THANK U SO MUCH YES OFC I WANNA BE MUTUALS/FRIENDS!! genuinely absolutely made my day to have u ask that oh my god??

also don’t worry about spoiling anything for me, i’ve read every little bit of lyney/lynette/freminet lore out there 😭 and i’ve done all of the new fontaine archon quests already (i need help. it’s okay though!)

as for angst — u know me so well already this is my forte. cracks knuckles here i go

freminet feels as if something is off.

already beginning to panic, he turns to you in a hurry. the water swishes in his ears. when you meet his gaze, wide-eyed, the gut ‘feeling’ turns into a full-blown punch to it. oh, now he realizes; he can’t breathe. his heart’s racing, chest tightening and throat feeling as if it’s closing up.

you reach out, and exchanging unspoken words, you two turn around and make to retrace your patterns with haste. hand in hand, you race against frittered time; but even your best efforts are not enough, and the both of you are forced to acknowledge it when freminet’s vision begins to turn spotty.

he got in the water first; he’s gone before you are. his body floats limp beside you as you drag him along through the water, even as the surroundings grow hazy for you, too. a cold tingle runs up your spine as you consider the possibility; is this the end?

(when you had left for the pipes, the most you had exchanged with lyney was a quick kiss on the cheek as a goodbye. that wouldn’t do.)

but even as you try desperately to cling to life .. the “sea” is a cruel thing, and it does not care for your mortal frivolities. (a proper goodbye? .. foolish.) with cold, disorienting water enveloping your senses from all sides, your only grounding thing being freminet’s (rapidly cooling) fingers against yours — it didn’t take long before you succumbed to the “sea”, too.

(your last thought as the world went dark was “i’m sorry.”)

(even in your barely conscious state, you feel another wave of panic surge through you when freminet’s fingers slip away from yours — but you don’t have enough energy to hold on.)

reader lives:

the incessant thrum of the water rushing through pipes rattled in your ears. your whole body was sore, weak and tired; and all of your limbs felt like lead attached to you via shoddy workmanship. your head hurt like hell, and what’s worse is that the moment you opened your eyes, you were immediately met with the sight of the three people you cherished most.

first, there was freminet, who was sitting on the bed opposite to yours. his posture fixes from a slouch into proper the moment he spots you, perhaps in.. excitement? shock? you weren’t sure. his eyes lit up, though.

second, there was lynette. she was .. a bit more on edge than usual. that was .. to be expected, of course, but really. you were out for.. what, an hour or two? come on, all four of you put yourselves in danger all the time. what was different about this?

(what was different was the fact that you were not out for an hour or two. no, make that days. they were sure to remind you of this.)

then, there was lyney. for him, the world seemed to stop.

lyney, who was pacing the room in sheer desperation. he walked and walked, boots timed and in tune with the clocks and dripping water from the pipes. in his nervousness, he had unwittingly created a quite fitting melody.

(the only sounds once he ceases walking are the clocks and the water dripping from the pipes.)

lyney, who had rushed to your bedside the moment he had noticed you were up. he looked exhausted, but the second you were awake the mask was .. attempted .. to be put back on. however .. it didn’t take someone as observant as you, or even one who knew him so well, to notice that it was placed crooked.

(how absurd he looked, trying to put on a front everyone in the room knew was one.)

why, even, you would have bet that it could’ve been surmised by a child. once again, emphasis on ‘you would have’, for there was no time for thinking about that when he rushed to your bedside and enveloped you into an embrace. you didn’t miss the way his fingers grasped at the back of your shirt in downright desperation.

(in clear, bold letters, it reads; “if nothing else, please let this be real.”)

he slots himself beside you and, wordlessly, holds you close. he doesn’t need words — neither of you do. this is enough.

lynette and freminet looked on, neither of them opening their mouths when lyney buries his face into the crook of your neck and stays there for just a bit too long. he doesn’t cry. instead, he whispers shakily against your skin; “i thought i’d lost you.”

(the only sounds once he ceases speaking are the clocks and the water dripping from the pipes.

(no one speaks up just yet.)

(the only sounds in the room are the clocks and the water dripping from the pipes.)

(you’re starting to think those were the only sounds ever there.)

when he finally pulls away, you notice he’s fixed his mask. lyney now smiles, and the shake in his voice is gone; but you know it’s not all better, not when he refuses to leave the infirmary even after sigewinne and the traveler inquire. you know it’s not all better, not when the four of you are alone again. lyney sits beside you on the bed, refusing to so much as stand up (he doesn’t want to let go of your hand. you don’t comment on it, but his fingers are still shaky as he holds onto yours like they’re a lifeline.)

you don’t exchange as much as a single word after that. you just bask in each other’s presence, apologies and pleas and “i love you” shared during every lingering glance between everyone in the room.

the four of you don’t need words. this is enough.

reader dies:

seven mistakes went unnoticed. seven signs went unfollowed. seven things (and five people) went wrong that day.

one: freminet.

it was entirely freminet’s fault, he thinks, it was. if only he had gotten you out of there in time. no — he shouldn’t have even brought you. he sits on the infirmary bed opposite to yours, knees pulled up to his chest, and he clutches pers with a death grip. he dips his head in such a way that his face is hidden with his hair; he doesn’t want to let lyney and lynette see him in this state. they have enough to deal with.

two: the primordial sea.

but they were bound to notice eventually, right?

“it was entirely the primordial sea’s fault,” lynette would remind, hand on freminet’s shoulder. “it wasn’t yours.”

the primordial sea. the cold and vicious waters were such a contrast to those he held so dear; what was typically calming and merciful turned to something suffocating and terrifying. but that didn’t change the fact that it was an inanimate thing.

he drops pers at the contact; it clatters to the floor; he looks down, wide-eyed and apologetic; he reaches down to pick it up. lynette does not put her hand on his shoulder again.

three: wriothesley.

“it was entirely wriothesley’s fault,” lyney wants to scream. he’s frantic, pacing the infirmary and voice cracking every time he speaks. lynette and freminet have seldom seen him so panicked. he needs to do something, he needs— he can’t. he can’t leave. once he gets his hands on wriothesley, he swears he’ll—

four: clorinde.

it was entirely clorinde’s fault. it was entirely her choice to pick only one of you to save. no one can bring themselves to be upset at her, for she did try to save both of you. but the realization slowly dawns upon the three children of the house of the hearth still with a steady heartbeat; it was either going to be you or freminet.

they realize this at different times. every time they do, they exchange a silent, quick glance.

freminet would’ve gladly given up his life. lyney and lynette, however .. they would not have been able to choose.

five: the gods.

it was entirely the gods’ fault. curse the gods, lyney thinks. he’s still pacing the room, and while he never put much stock in the divine, he was practically yelling at them now. he knew it wasn’t logical. but he needed something. what was the point of a god if not to help their people? what was the point of a god if just to watch people suffer like it’s an opera?

was she here now? was she watching? was this a “twist” for her? did she delight in this?

six: lyney.

it was entirely lyney’s fault. he shouldn’t have let you or freminet go. he shouldn’t have. he shouldn’t have let wriothesley play him like he was a deck of cards in his hands. this was all his fault. all his fault. he knew of the prophecy, dedicated his whole life to it — and yet hadn’t managed to save you from its clutches?

seven: you.

in truth — it was no one’s fault. but lyney is still pacing the room, breathing getting heavier and more rapid every time he steals a glance at you. lynette’s eyes still trace his every move, conveniently ignoring the sight of you as best she could; and freminet still has his face buried in his knees as to not look at your decaying body.

none of them can deal with the fact that it was simply an accident. no one meant for this to happen — there was no one to blame.

they needed someone to blame.

so each and every one of them blamed themselves. as lyney’s fingers grasped your cold ones, he squeezed them softly even as they began to turn blue beneath his grasp. he couldn’t bare to let you go.

and after three long days, the sun rose to find your bed empty where you had laid. you were nowhere to be found. for a moment, lyney’s heart practically leapt out of his chest, wondering .. did you get up?

but as he rushes to the bedside, his face falls. he should’ve known not to get his hopes up.

the blankets were damp where you had laid, soaked with water just as the stage in the opera epiclese had been.

lyney didn’t cry, nor did lynette or freminet.

they didn’t exchange so much as a word the day you died.

instead, they put their aching hearts and empty souls into the mission at hand. they worked twice as hard to distract themselves, and they provided excellent results for “father” — but they had barely worked together to do so.

they exchanged cold words and they held each other at night, when the pain became too much — because as much as they tried to pretend like nothing happened, that was a lie, just as the rest of their existence — but there was no mistaking it. they were now divided.

there was always you. and now there wasn’t.

lynette was the one who informed “father” of your .. whereabouts. lyney couldn’t bring himself to.

[brrrkdslek]

🎀 𓂃 ࣪˖ DYING WISH

SYPNOSIS : knowing the dangers with mafias roaming downtown recently, your dumbass still decides to take a stroll praying it'd relieve your current stress and struggles. but god had other plans for you as she sends two stress relievers your way. but what you didn't know was that you'd be a great asset to them.

PAIRING : mafia! sanhwa x fem! reader

GENRE : non-idol au, mafia au, mafia members duh, idfk honestly

WARNINGS : smut!!!!, no names mentioned(y/n), yummy hunky men(sanhwa), degradation(hwa), praise(san), face fucking, unprotected, creampie, throatpie, strip tease(?), voyeurism, abused pussy lmao idk

WORD COUNT : 4.2k

YINGLES' NOTES : LMFAO HAPPY (late) BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVOURITE EDITOR EVER!!!1!!11!1!1 @ygswl enjoy yo mega smut bitch ;) ps i almost creamed myself while writing this hehe👉🏻👈🏻

you groaned and flopped onto the bed, this was the fourth time in a row that you didn't win a fancall with your favourite idol. you stared at the ceiling and contemplated your life, is this it? whining over the perfect man that doesn't even know who you are? get a life.

"ugh, i'm trying!" you whined to the voices in your head and slammed your fist against the bed, startling your cat as it jumped up from its spot next to you and meowed at you sassily before it jumped off to some corner in your room you never bothered to clean.

you suddenly sat up and slapped both of your palms onto your cheeks and sighed, "focus! you need to get a grip!" you screamed to no one in particular as you threw the covers off your body and got dressed.

you looked in the mirror and smiled in satisfaction at your lovely outfit; a sleeveless low cut top paired with a cute cropped white jacket. you put on a pair of high-waisted flared jeans and did a small twirl at the mirror.

you decided to take a stroll downtown as you walked down the stairs humming some song that's been stuck in your head since the month before, time really passes by quickly. you jogged towards the kitchen to grab a snack before heading out, eyeing the banana in the fruit bowl as you reached to get it.

your mother emerges from behind you and smacked your hand, making you jump and turn around. "where do you think you're going?" she asked grumpily as she eyed you up and down, still salty you didn't help her prepare dinner.

you chuckled sheepishly and followed behind her as she tossed the bowl of meat she was holding into the pot of boiling water. you gently massaged her shoulders as you coughed, "hah, so uh, what're you making, ma―"

she cut you off and shrugged your hands off her shoulders, "what do you want now?" you stiffened and laughed, "whaaat? pssh, nothing of course..." she eyed you up and down with an eyebrow raised, "looking like that?"

you pursed your lips before taking a deep breath and sighed, "can i go downtown please? nothing serious, just a walk and―" she cut you off again and smacked your arm with the plastic spatula she was holding, "no! are you insane? don't you know about the stupid mafia down there right now?"

she tsked and furrowed her brows, "what's their name? dala dala- no, bala bala...?" you crossed your arms against your chest and grumbled, "it's hala hala, ma..." she rolled her eyes, "whatever, if you die i'll kill you!" she said before walking past you to grab the spices in the cabinet.

you deadpan, "that's not even- whatever, i'm going now." you said as you put your shoes on and heard her hum. "love you ma!" you said before slamming the front door shut and bouncing excitedly as you took a bus downtown.

you haven't been going anywhere for the past month due to work and babysitting your annoying cousins, not that you ever complained since your aunt and uncle paid you generously. it's been a long time since you were downtown and you're excited to see the change made in these few months you've been gone.

you grumbled as you leaned against the brick wall, swirling the kool-aid in your cup as you glanced around the area. it wasn't surprising that everything was still the same, i mean what was there to expect?

but you've already encountered three catcallers and tripped on nothing twice, the second time making mud water splash onto the ends of your new pants, spoiling your mood even more than it already was.

you looked around again and perked up when you saw two delicious looking men in suits turn a corner and into an alleyway.

of course, being nosy as fuck, you followed. tiptoeing quietly, you looked into the alley curiously and felt your heartbeat quicken, this was so enticing.

one of the men was taller and slimmer than the other, hair slicked back and dressed in a suit, any woman that passed would probably fall heal over heels, including you.

the other man was slightly shorter and had wide, and when i say wide, i mean wide shoulders. your expression soured when your eyes trailed down and saw his small waist, his proportions were insane.

the current feeling of infatuation quickly turned into envy as you pouted, wondering how easily these two men looked so effortlessly handsome.

"tonight?" the man with the dorito body asked, "hm, i have no clue how we'll manage to take down valhalla in just one night but i'll figure it out." the taller said sternly, looking as proud and confident as ever.

you scoffed, arrogant prick. the shorter whined and rolled his eyes, "how are we supposed to do that? that little man always has crazy high expectations." the other chuckled at the height joke, "that's how we're able to even rise this high, you know this."

you deadpanned when the dorito man continued to whine in annoyance before he suddenly stopped and turned his head to your directions. thank god for your reflexes cause you retracted your head just in time.

you slapped your hand over your mouth as you slid down the wall, having just realised what dangerous situation you put yourself in. you continued to eavesdrop but furrowed your brows in confusion when you stopped hearing voices.

like an idiot, you poked your head back towards the alleyway and felt your heart jump out of your throat when the two men were much closer now, looming over you with their hands in their pockets.

you shrieked and fell back onto the concrete and breathed heavily, your mouth drying as you desperately tried to speak. the shorter chuckled and squatted down, "what's this? you're a pretty little thing, ain't'cha?" he cooed as his hand came up and stroked your cheek gently, making you blush.

however the taller wasn't amused as his expression remained stoic. "san," his voice was icy cold, sending a shiver down your spine. "you know what to do." the dorito man, san, nodded and got up, feeling his knees crackle.

you glanced at both men that were standing silently before you quickly got up and scurried away, screaming for your life. then, you felt a cloth on your mouth and breathed in a soft scent. and it all went black.

you groaned as your eyes fluttered open softly and gasped when you found yourself in a dark room, a soft purple hue wrapped all around. it seemed like a karaoke room, the interior was absolutely gorgeous, you probably wouldn't be able to afford it if you sold your house.

san tsked and snapped his finger in front of your face, bringing your attention back to him. "hey, focus on me little girl." he mused as you tried to speak, only just realising there was a piece of tape on your mouth.

you began to panic as you wiggled your body around, the ropes around your hands and feet rubbing uncomfortably against your skin, making you whine and whimper.

san rolled his eyes as he stood up, grabbing a fistful of your hair and pulled you close towards his face. "i'll remove the tape if you shut up." he said sternly as you slowly quieted down, relaxing onto the chair.

the man hummed as a small smile took over his features, "now that wasn't so hard, was it?" he spoke gently, his voice completely different from his authoritative and demanding one from before.

he liked when he's listened to, got it. you made a mental note not to get on the man's nerves as he ripped off the tape from your mouth with one swift pull, making tears pool in your eyes from the sudden feeling of pain running down your body.

you pursed your lips as an awkward silence takes over the room, the booming music from the two rooms beside you making it slightly less awkward.

"a-are you gonna kill me?" you murmured quietly, cringing slightly when you heard yourself stutter. san bit at the skin of his lips and went silent before sighing, "yes, there isn't any nicer way to put this but you overheard our plans, so that's just how it is. protocol."

you felt your heart beating out of your ribs as the realisations hit you like a ton of bricks. "can't we work something out?" you asked desperately, the words pouring out of your lips like waterfall before you could even process them.

san sighs and leaned back on the long couch, "listen, i'd love to but i can't decide that, only seonghwa can." at the mention of the elder, the door to the room opened and the taller man from before emerges, closing the door behind him.

"you're awake?" the man, whom you've learnt is seonghwa, asked with a bored expression on his face. san was alerted and stood up as seonghwa was practically staring a hole through you.

you gulped and turned your head away as he continued, "i'm assuming you heard everything?" without hesitation, you nodded your head. "then death is necessary." he answered confidently.

you cursed yourself in your head, why do you have to be so honest? you could've made this better for yourself but noooo. your bottom lip trembled as you held your head down, "please, isn't there... something we could work out?" you asked shakily.

the two men held eye contact with each other for a few seconds before seonghwa spoke up, "i'm... gonna go find hongjoong." he murmured before quickly exiting the room, leaving you in more distress as san cursed under his breath.

you felt a tap on your shoulder as you looked up and saw a glass of wine being held towards you. san coughed and looked away, "to calm your nerves..." he mumbled as if he read your mind.

i hummed before taking large gulps of the wine and finishing it with a groan. san swallowed dryly as he chuckled, "you can swallow real good, huh?"

san's tongue darts out to wet his lips as he watches a singular droplet of wine roll down the corner of your lip and down your chin, dripping onto your cleavage and disappearing into the crack.

san's eyes darken, only seeming to have noticed your revealing outfit just then. san hummed as he tilted your chin up, "let me get that for you, beautiful..." he growled lowly before he licks the bead of wine from your chin and to the corner of your mouth.

your breath catches in your throat as you let out a breathy moan, face flushing from the alcohol and how close san was to you.

san pulled back with a groan as he begins to untie the ropes from your wrists and ankles, "y'know what? i'll do you a favour and let your last moment be as enjoyable as possible." he licked his lips.

seonghwa comes back in the room not even five minutes later and sees you knelt onto the ground giving san a blowjob.

seonghwa raised his brow and leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed, "so is this what we're doing now?" he asked san, unamused.

san only let out a low groan as he pushes your head deeper, "yeah, just like that babygirl..." he murmured and moaned lowly, the grip he had on your hair getting tighter and tighter as you hummed, sending vibrations through his body from his cock.

san shivered as he looked up at seonghwa and smirked, showing his pretty dimples. "ya jealous, park?" seonghwa laughed, "me? jealous of you? please, i have other whores that is can get off to." he rolled his eyes.

san cursed under his breath before gripping the sides of your head and slamming his cock down your throat, not only was it big, it was so thick also. your face turned red as you gagged and tried your best to keep your mouth open, feeling your jaw lock in place.

after a few more sloppy thrusts, san cums in your mouth and pulls out. just as you thought it was over, a few more ropes of cum is splayed on your face as you panted.

seonghwa whistled, "two loads just from a blowjob? you're a weak one, san." he scoffed arrogantly. san glared at the older before slicking his hair back, "you wouldn't know how good this little mouth is."

you blushed and stayed in your spot on the floor, feeling the arousal pooling between your thighs. you shifted on your knees as your panties stuck to your crotch uncomfortably, a result of the amount of slick that you guessed was already spread all over.

seonghwa hummed before walking over behind you, the sounds of his leather heels clacking on the ground, even his footsteps sounded elegant.

he tilted your head back and grimaced at the sight of san's cum spread all over your face. his big hand wrapped halfway around your neck as his thumb teased you by the edge of your mouth, "suck." he commanded.

and without another word, you opened your mouth as seonghwa's thumb enters and presses down on your tongue, smirking at your obedience.

san watches from the couch, a bag of chips in his hands as he chomped away. "see, you're liking her now, right?" he mused, chest puffing proudly from being correct.

seonghwa hummed, "obedient and has a pretty face, her features are a mix of sensual and cute, perfect." he muttered under his breath. san could be heard yawning but seonghwa didn't even react, his eyes solely on you, making you incredibly flustered.

seonghwa pulled his fingers out as he pushed san to the side and plopped onto the long couch, his head relaxing into the leather as he gestured for you to come.

you squeaked softly, and got up slowly, feeling the blood slowly come back to your legs as seonghwa patted his lap, "make yourself useful and ride me, slut." he smirked and glared playfully.

you opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out. you were embarrassed but aroused, mostly cause of his degradation. you swallowed dryly before obeying to his words and slowly went over.

as you got closer, seonghwa sat up and licked his lips as he began to unbuckle his belt. seonghwa unzipped his pants before pulling out his cock and stroked it slowly.

while san's dick was more thick and girthy, seonghwa's was longer and slimmer, just like his form. there was also a singular vein that ran down his length prettily, the sight alone made you shiver.

you shivered and watched seonghwa stroke his length as he chuckled lowly, "strip, but make it entertaining. you probably know how with a body like that." he scoffed as his eyes traveled down your form, eyeing your curves and crevices.

you didn't need to be told twice as you took off your jacket first as san whistled in the background. your cheeks heat up as you've never been this revealed in front of others, only in the comforts of your own home.

but your insecurities are washed away when you watch seonghwa stroke his length faster as his eyes traveled along your body, "c'mon, give me more..." he murmured with his brows furrowed, even then he sounded so authoritative.

immediately obeying the elder's words, you hesitated before slowly pulling the tank top over your chest, taking it off completely.

maybe you were fat and maybe you were skinny, but who knows? everyone views your body differently and you didn't know either. all you ever thought was that you were average, but you didn't feel so average under the gaze of two sexy men that are capable of pounding you till the sunrise.

you squeezed your thighs together as your heartbeat picks up, seonghwa notices this and stroked himself harder, squeezing his cock tighter as he groaned and stared holes through your head.

you took that as a sign to keep going as you slowly unzipped your pants, only then realising you wore the cutesy panties out today, never expecting to be performing a striptease for two mafia members.

seonghwa grumbled as he halts his movements, "can't you hurry it up? my dick's about to fall off." he comments harshly as san only chuckles popping a few pieces of chips in his mouth as he passed one to seonghwa, who's already bored as you've stood frozen.

you took in a deep breath as you pushed your pants down in one go, the fabric piling around your ankled as you stood awkwardly, your gaze turning to the interesting looking wall all around you.

san snorted and fell onto the couch dramatically as seonghwa only chuckled, "so adorable..." he murmured. you pursed your lips and blushed furiously, feeling seonghwa eat you up with his eyes.

he finally moved and rubbed the tip of his cock with his thumb as you water in awe. seonghwa pressed down and moaned, throwing his heda back from pleasure and blushing from the way you were staring.

seonghwa stopped his movements when he felt himself twitching as he breathes out, "come." just that one word sent a shiver down your spine as you immediately complied and moved on top of his lap, facing the male.

you could feel your heart hammering into your ribs as your hands placed themselves awkwardly onto seonghwa's shoulders.

the male shuddered as he pushed your hips down right onto his hardened cock. the feeling of your crotches rubbing together made seonghwa's breath hitch. he became even more aroused at the thought that the only thing separating the two were the thin fabric of your underwear.

you whimpered and felt your lower half jolt from the sudden friction of seonghwa's cock. you tested the waters and began to grind your clothed pussy onto his cock, watching in fascination as the foreskin moved up and engulfed the tip of his cock before moving back down.

seonghwa could feel the weens from your underwear and smirked, gripping your hips tighter and rocking them faster. "faster," seonghwa demanded as he groaned and threw his head back, "yeah, just like that- fuckin' whore..."

you picked up the pace, his degrading words serving as an encouragement for you to keep going. you would've forgotten that san was also in the room if not for his sudden groan. turning your head to the side, you blush harder at the sight of san stroking his hard-on, all while staring intensely with those dark eyes.

seonghwa grumbled and gripped your chin, his hand engulfing your entire jaw as he turned your head back and thrusted his hips up, making your panties push into your pussy slightly.

you let out a soft squeak as seonghwa growled lowly, "focus on me, bitch. you'll be riding my dick soon, so just be patient." he announced in an authoritative tone. that got you going as you whimpered softly and nodded your head, "y-yes sir."

seonghwa groaned, his cock twitching from how obedient you were being. "fuck, i can't take this any longer." he grumbled before suddenly halting your movements and pulling your hip upwards, you were taken aback by his actions but nonetheless complied.

seonghwa used one hand to move your soaking panties to the side, purring at the sight of your wet folds. you shuddered slightly when the cold air hit your cunt, your whole body was heating up from how exposed you were right now.

seonghwa rubbed his thumb over your clit as he chuckled lowly, "so wet already? thought i needed to prep you more, guess you're ready to take my cock..." he mumbled excitedly.

seonghwa gave his length a few more pumps before rubbing it against your folds, loving the way you whined and squirmed as he teased you. "p-please sir, don't tease me..." you whimpered softly and seonghwa felt his body grow weak with your begging.

you gasped and gripped onto seonghwa's shoulder as he pushed his cock all the way in without giving you a second to adjust. slamming his hips upwards, your thighs began to tremble as you panted, drool so close to dripping from your mouth.

you shifted on seonghwa's lap a bit, feeling his cock poking out of your tummy with the way it curled inside. seonghwa looked down and smirked seeing a small, barely noticeable bulge on your lower stomach.

finally catching your breath, you began to slowly move your hips up and down with the help of seonghwa's hands on your hips. he had to physically hold back from being too rough as it was pretty obvious that it was your first time taking a cock as big as his.

you thighs shook as you slowly began to move by yourself, your hands on seonghwa's shoulder to keep yourself steady. seonghwa smirked as he let his hands roam all over your body,you closed your eyes and let your body melt into seonghwa's touch along with his dick pounding deep inside you.

seonghwa began to grow more and more aroused as his hands trailed down and gripped your ass, humming from how your flesh spills from his fingers. he licked his lips before thrusting upwards roughly with the help of his hold on your asscheek.

you let out a loud moan at the sudden thrust and slap your hand over your mouth, feeling your drool trickle down your chin. you gripped onto seonghwa's shirt, creating crinkles around your fist.

you stuttered through your moans with each thrust, your body squirming and trembling as seonghwa stared up at you, absolutely entranced by the sight before him.

you were snapped out of your trance when your face was suddenly tilted upwards. soft moans continued to leave your mouth as san smirked and cupped your cheek, opening your mouth with his thumb as he smirked, his dimple showing on one side.

"open." san said softly, his tone was gentle and sweet unlike seonghwa's; authoritative and demanding. you gulped before opening your mouth slowly, san smiled and let his thumb press against the inside of your cheek, making you whine softly.

san licked his lips as he hummed, "you think you can take my cock down your throat, pretty girl?" you stuck your tongue out and moaned wantonly as you nodded.

san smiles softly as he takes out his throbbing cock and slaps it onto your face, "open wide, princess." he sang as tilts your head further back and slips his cock into your mouth, groaning at the feeling of your warm mouth.

san thrusts slowly at first as you adjusted to his size, already gagging and feeling it hard to breathe with his cock just halfway in. san hums before pushing the rest of his length down your mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat making him shiver.

seonghwa tsked at how your attention wasn't on him anymore and quickly picked up the pace, thrusting his hips upwards at an animalistic pace and made eye contact with san as the younger hummed, understanding instantly.

you whined in a high pitch and sent vibrations through san's cock making the other shudder. san rested his hands on the side of your head before starting to thrust in and out, matching seonghwa's fast pace, making your head spin.

your whole body was trembling from how overstimulating this was. you felt like you couldn't breathe as your sight began to turn a bit hazy. seonghwa moaned lowly as your velvety walls clenched around him as he thrusted harder, hitting your prostate.

san was the same as he was starting to get addicted to your mouth, he knew it barely fit in your mouth and how tight your lips wrapped his length made him more turned on. he continued to slam his cock down your throat, feeling precum spill with each time his tip hit the back of your throat.

your face was beet red and you could feel san's precum dripping down your throat, and you could do nothing but let your body be used by these two men. but hey, this was better than dying, right?

seonghwa's thrusts became sloppier and slower as he let out his loud deep inside you not without cursing and moaning lowly. san was right behind him and fucked your face harshly before his seed was slipping inside your mouth, some of it running down your chin with how much he came.

with trembling thighs, you pulled out of seonghwa with a moan as the both of you watched his cum drip down your swollen cunt. seonghwa felt his heart beat faster at the sight and his soft dick hardened up within a second.

he quickly pulled you back onto his dick as you squealed, still overstimulated from before. "one more round..." seonghwa says breathlessly as he began to rock your hips, making you whine softly.

san followed along and tilted your face backwards, arching your back once again as he lathered his, still dripping cock onto your face. "i might need one more round also..." he chuckled awkwardly with red cheeks.

this was gonna be a long night...

©BRRRKDSLEK 2024

[kairiscorner]

Okay, this is entirely based on a situation I was in with one of my coworkers.

But, imagine Miguel coming back from HQ, in a bad mood cause he was stuck working with idiots, and he goes straight to the office to check on the other Earths. Lyla warns him to be quiet, he wants to ignore her but just plays along cause he can hear music from in there. He sneaks up, peeks in, and just sees his sweet little lady just GROOVING to some good ole y2k Spanish dance music. I'm talking Daddy Yankee's peak, Shakira, N.O.R.E, that music that got your hips absolutely moving. Bonus points if he's like everyone else and thinks she couldn't dance like that cause she's so "prim and proper" (According to Hobie)

I know I nearly killed my coworker with whiplash when that happened with me lmao gotta keep folks on their toes ~ 🍄

OMG I ACTUALLY MADE A BOT RELATED TO THIS IDEA, time to bring it to life yet again <33 I LOVE THAT FOR YOU THOUGH, 🍄 ANON !! i also dance when nobody's looking, IT JUST FEELS RIGHT OK !! ANYWAY, I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS !!

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

he can't look away. — miguel o'hara x reader

fuming and muttering under his breath in anger, miguel rips a portal open into HQ and storms his way in the building. he had yelled his mouth off at a bunch of know-it-alls in his team and disengaged from the situation by storming off back to HQ to gather his thoughts and cool down. when he got there, the place was practically deserted. the only thing that was present in the atmosphere in the whole building was the faint sound of upbeat, lively music that reverberated throughout the empty halls of the building. "what now?" miguel asked himself with furrowed eyebrows as his mask dissipated and he trudged over to where the music was coming from. lyla appeared on his shoulder and raised an eyebrow at him. "you might not wanna go that way right now." she warned miguel as he wordlessly dismissed the AI assistant.

"i swear, if someone is throwing a fucking party up here, voy a perder la cabeza." miguel muttered to himself as he got up to the floor where the music was playing, and searched for the exact room where the party music was. he didn't bother knocking on the door anymore, he flung the door open and scowled. "what the fuck's going o-" miguel growled, but was soon interrupted by the loud music blaring and ringing in his ears, and the sight of his dearest little lover absolutely jamming to the music. their hips were swaying from side to side, their arms flailing in the air as they let the music overtake their body, doing such bold moves that nobody would believe they were capable of due to how sweet, innocent, prim, and proper they seemed (at least, according to some of the chaotic ones, like hobie, gwen, and pav).

miguel's mouth hung open as he requested lyla to lower the music slightly so he could focus on how his darling was grooving to the music, not having a care in the world as to what was going on around them except for the music carrying them away into the zone. they sang along to the songs and shook their bodies to the beat, with their eyes shut all the while and with a grand smile on their face, they danced and danced until they hit a wall; miguel's broad chest. they looked up at miguel and looked back at his broad chest, they soon got all embarrassed and turned off their speakers and looked down at the ground in embarrassment. miguel raised an eyebrow again at this sudden act of timidity.

"what's wrong? you looked so happy dancing, please..." miguel trailed off as lyla played the music even louder, with miguel taking your smaller hands in his as his face broke out into a small, sweet smile. "...may i dance with you?" he asked you as you looked into his eyes with bright, beaming eyes and nodded, a smile on your face again as you swayed with miguel and danced with him; this little dance party the two of you having together melting away the stress and tension he was experiencing earlier, where all he can focus on is you and the perfect way your body looked while dancing, and how his heart skipped a beat whenever he heard you smile and felt your hands in his as he spun you around and dipped you ever so often.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @fable-library @ophanimgold @fictarian @yuridopted0 @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok

[sapphic-woes]

I saw you're taking requests soooo anything Abby?Remember that post about having a girl's weight on top of you ...yeah 😳

Anything Abby....I was stuck on Abby with a mom like reader (as in R is the mom friend of the group) so let's hope I can do smth this time cuz I tried like twice to get the idea down😭 NOT PROOFREAD

Abby x Doting(?)Reader

So, everyone thinks Abby is a loose cannon yea? She's dangerous, intimidating, all in all not someone you want to cross.

So imagine everyone's surprised when you pat her on the head and tell her she's a good girl for going to get a recent injury treated like you told her too

You're the one that brings extra medical supplies on easy runs. You're the one with extra everything really–ammo, shives, ointment, etc.

You nag a lot, but everyone appreciates the feeling, especially when the world has become so bleak and callous.

But Abby? Everyone thought that if there was anyone you couldn't crack, it would be her. However, she soon becomes stuck like glue to your side.

You easily manage to "tame" her with your kind words and adoring nature, because even though most people assume she can take anything and everything with ease, you treat her like a person.

Abby in turn, loves being doted on by you. She loves being on missions and lefting a crate you to crawl under, just to watch you say "Thanks Abby" with a sweet smile, and check her hands afterwards to make sure she didn't get any splinters. She loves how you stop her in the middle of a run just to bandage a cut she didn't even notice. She loves how she'll greet you in the morning, and you immediately can tell she had a bad sleep, letting her rest her head on your lap until Issac calls for her.

Abby really loves how much you care about her, and it doesn't take long for everyone else to know too.

I think to everyone, you're a ray of sunshine next to death itself lmao. Abby is like a guard dog around you, and bothering you is synonymous with bothering Abby. When you guys become a package? It's even more so.

But also, once you get together you can nag her even more in public.

"Abby fucking Anderson!" You huffed, hands on hips as you glared across the cafeteria. You could see the other girl stiffen, as well as Manny and the others sitting with her start to snicker. You stomped over to her table with purpose, mustering up the harshest glare.

"How could you go out there, alone! There are protocols, and you know how tense it is right now, especially with the Scars. Let alone the infected! I heard you got hurt too..." You trailed off to look at her bandaged forearm, letting out a sigh.

"Oh Abby...why do you always try to take on everything yourself? You're one person!" You sat down beside her, looking up with blurred vision. You blinked your tears out of the way, and at the sight of you crying Abby immediately began to panic.

"Shit, y/n I–I'm sorry, things just happened so quickly. I didn't think to get back up–"

"But you should have! You idiot! You should have come straight back rather than rushing in like a crazy dog!' You full on yelled at her, fists banging on her chest. Abby took your hits with ease, gathering you up in her arms.

"I know, I know. I'm an idiot."

"A big, dumb idiot." Abby laughed, nodding in agreement.

"A big, dumb idiot. But I'm your idiot, right?" You puffed up your cheeks, knowing you couldn't stay mad at her. Not when she apologized like this, with the whole cafeteria watching the Abby Anderson fold to a girl half her fucking size.

"Yeah Abby..." You reached up to ruffle her hair, smiling as she grinned right back at you, "you're my idiot."

[buggiebite]

WIP Wednesday!

Thursday LMAO

A smile spreads on her face, “That’s wonderful. Peeta’s shown me her pictures and she’s just a doll!”

“Well, I haven’t seen these pictures” Cinna claims. “Leaving me out the loop are we now, Peeta?”

My husband fishes out his wallet to reveal a variety of tiny photos I did not know he owned. We have a camera back home that produces film and while we use it a lot, it normally takes weeks to have it processed. An old shop for knickknacks does the task for a trade of bread or game. Seeing these photos are a first, though it recalls my memory because I was present for the majority.

The photos are passed around. There’s one of Willow sleeping in her crib while her tiny hand clutches my finger, I too am asleep and sitting on the floor with my arm stretching through the wooden bars. Then, a few of her sprawled on the bed, a tiny, gummy grin staring back at the camera. One that I took of Peeta holding our sleeping daughter in our bedroom. If I remember correctly it was closer to dawn than it was dusk and him and I were wide awake because of our haphazard sleeping schedule. Willow had cried nonstop for at least an hour: she refused to feed and even my songs could not calm her. Peeta took her from me and began to walk around the room, practically bouncing. His deep voice uttered the sweetest words and between that, his movements, and the open window of fresh air, Willow was asleep in minutes.

“No one does it like Papa” Peeta had smiled.

“Oh, sure” I taunted. “Now I know exactly who to wake up when she’s fussy.”

“I’m usually the one waking you up, actually, Miss. Could-Sleep-Through-a-Hurricane.”

“You’ve never even seen a hurricane.”

“Don’t need to, I know you snore like one.”

I had rolled my eyes, “Shut up.”

Peeta stuck out his tongue and continued his little bounce by the window. Occasionally shushing our daughter when she stirred. I grabbed the camera off our dresser and caught the moment. Peeta was looking longingly into her sweet, chubby face as she curled into his bare chest.

The photos make me feel that warmth, like the sunny mornings after harsh winters. Where the snow melts and turns to mud to sprout bright greens. It’s fuzzy, but different. I cannot shake the chill of the cold. Threatened to die of hyperthermia. Mother has talked about it before, some fact she learned growing up as the apothecary’s daughter. Before a death of hypothermia, there is a strange feeling of warmth. A fever unable to break because it’s the body’s way to regulate temperature. Then, the heavy feeling of slumber which ultimately means death.

This is a snippet of Chapter 3 of The Life of a Victor. Read the first two chapters here and load my asks if you have questions!

tagging @waywardangel-wilds @oolhan

[sonarspace]

Hii, could you write something where reader is insecure about herself because she thinks she’s overweight when the only thing fat about her is her ass and the jjk men (specifically geto or gojo or both, idk it’s up to you) try to tell her?

had this idea lmao

VENUS

wc: 1k a/n: i really hope i did justice to what you had in mind and I wasn’t sure if you wanted to fluff or smut but i opted for smut cause why not 😄! included some visuals as well. also not proofread and i'm very sleepy, so just ignore any mistakes. warnings: sensitive topic! (insecure reader, body image issues?) 18+. smut. f! receiving, (cunninglingus, fingering) sex (cowgirl & back shots) idek. a/n part 2: reblogs and comments are appreciated and very helpful :)

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

he walks out of the bathroom and sees you palming at different parts of your body whilst looking at yourself in the mirror with a pout on your face. your stomach. your thighs. your ass. 

“hey” he walks up behind you. you just sigh and turn away from the mirror but he grabs your hand before you can walk away further. “talk to me. what’s going on up there” he taps your forehead lightly.  

“it’s stupid.” you huff back looking down. “it’s not stupid, if it’s bothering you.” he puts his finger under your chin turning your face towards him. “i feel…i don’t know…i feel like my thighs are too big. my ass too. and i-” 

he cuts you off quickly with a “nuh uh”. his eyebrows furrowing “your ass is sexy. love the way it moves when i’m fucking you from behind. and your thighs. god, i could spend forever in between them but i’d miss your pretty face too much.” 

your face turns red instantly. “you’re so annoying”. you chuckle lightly wiping at the tear stuck in the corner of your eyes. “i’m serioussss baby.” he says with his hands cupping your face. leaves small kisses at the corner of your eyes. “wish you could see yourself through my eyes.”

an idea pops into his head. he kisses you slowly at first. your hand moves up his chest and grasps his neck when he slides his tongue into your mouth.

he pushes you down on the bed and starts trailing kisses over your jaw and down to your neck. he pulls back from you and lowers himself to the floor, on his knees.

he pulls off your shorts and leaves kisses up your ankles to your inner thighs. you grow wetter with each kiss. he gets closer to your core, breathing heavily and his eyes dart up to you. lips parted, looking down at him in anticipation, you mewl out a "please".

"going to make you feel really good sweets but i need you to keep looking at me, okay?" he tells you. you breathe out a quick "okay".

his tongue teases around your clit. lapping at the wetness that built from your makeout session earlier. he spreads the wetness around with his tongue and pokes at your opening slightly. hooks your legs over his shoulders and pulls you closer to his mouth. his head between your thighs.

flicks your clit once, twice and you whimper. move your hand in his tugging and urging him to keep going. like a starved man he alternates between sucking and licking at your clit. your moans getting louder and that feeling of an orgasm building in your stomach.

he looked up at you from under his lashes and smiles smugly at the contorted look on your face. he maintains eye contact as he continues slurping at your clit and inserts a finger in your needy hole.

"ahhh. one more, please" you beg. "so greedy," he remarks. he inserts another finger curving slightly to reach your g-spot. your head tilts back in pleasure, your body arching further into his mouth. your grip on his hair tightens, nails scratch his scalp and his eyes close as he moans into your cunt like this was just as pleasurable for him as it was for you.

"come on baby. give it to me. please. give it to me." he whines. his desperation, his pretty face in between your thighs. his continuous ministrations on your clit and cunt has you coming with a loud cry of his name.

he licks you clean and pulls back with the biggest smile. his chin covered in your juices and you laugh at him and pull him towards you to give a kiss. his hands moves under your chest. tracing over your ribs and going under your back to undo your bra. he pulls back to rid himself of his clothes and you quickly remove your shirt.

your legs wrap around his hips and he picks you up and sits back down sideways with you on top of him. you grab his cock from between you two and rub it against your core. he groans when you finally sink down on him. "good god, you're so warm." you bounce on his cock as he his hand massages your left boob and his tongue flicks the bud of your right boob which has you writhing.

he suddenly lays you down and flips you over. pulling your ass up, he pushes in from behind and has you jerking forward from the insanity of his thrusts. "ahhh so fucking perfect f'me." his right hand goes around your throat, squeezes lightly as it moves higher and grips your jaw to turn it towards the mirror. "look at yourself. look at how beautiful you look. bet god spent an eternity creating you. my venus. ahh, pussy’s taking me so well."

and surely you do look good like this. you feel sexy. the insecurity you felt earlier are eased as your ass continuously hits his pelvis with each thrust. with his hold on your jaw he pulls you up. your back to his chest. his other hand moves between your thighs to play with your clit. "cum for me pretty girl." your hand reaches back and tugs his hair as you cum soon after. you're clenching so much that it triggers his own orgasm and he stills as it takes him by surprises.

you both flop down on the bed, panting heavily. his body on top of you feels like a weighted blanket that relaxes you further into slumber. he leaves kisses down your back and bites at the end tender flesh between your hips and ass. "love everything about you darling." you turn around to face him and hum as he pecks your lips. "thank you baby, i love you" you whisper to him as you hold his face between your hands and kiss him deeply. "i love you more my sweet venus," he beams at you.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

GOJO | GETO | NANAMI | YOUR FAV

a/n part 3: send in a request and i’ll try my best to write it. feel free to chat me up. -> through my ask box titled “talk to me” on my page :)

© SONARSPACE 2023 | DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR REPOST MY WORK ON OTHER PLATFORMS!

[lvrsparadise]

'IVY' - M.S

synopsis - "i thought that i was dreaming when you said you love me"

warnings! - kissing (makeout), profanity, shitty ending bc i didn't know how to end it lmao, i think that's it!

A/N - so, tomorrow is my grandparent's memorial and i have to sit in a car for four hours. i love this, other than most of the ending, was kinda stumped w that one. pink + white is planned but i don't know how to put what i want into words, so if anyone wants to know the plot and help, please dm!! love y'all!

!3rd person! 

-5 years ago-

Matt smiled as he flung the stick into the water, looking to his best friend who stood next to him afterwards.

“How was that one?” The pair was maybe 14 or 15, not quite old enough to be out by themselves, but yet here they were, out at 2 in the morning.

“That one was a little bit better. I think the problem is that you’re throwing a stick.” She laughed and bent down to grab a rock before flinging it into the water, the rock going impressively far.

“Oh. Yeah that might be it.” He chuckles at his own dumb actions but shuts up as he watches her throw the rock in awe.

“That was a really good throw.”

“Thanks.” They turned to each other with huge smiles on their faces for a few seconds before bursting out laughing for no reason, just for the laughs.

After calming down from their laughing fit, the pair lays in the grass next to each other, looking at the stars.

“Are you going to get married one day?” It was such a wide and complex question for a 15 year old, but Matt couldn’t help but ponder at the question as he turned his head to the girl lying next to him.

“I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe I’ll marry you one day.” Those were serious words for Matt, but to help the mood, he laughs at it and soon the girl joins him.

“Maybe. Who knows what the future holds.”

----

-Present day-

!Reader’s POV!

I let out a breath and watched as the air left my mouth in the cold air.

I check my phone again.

Maybe he forgot?

I sigh. There’s no way Matt would’ve forgotten to come pick me up, he must be busy then.

I shoot off another text, this time to Chris.

Me: are you guys busy rn? Chris: yeah, we’re stuck in a meeting, and everyone’s phone is dead but mine 🤦🏻‍♂️ Me: oh, okay. Just let me know when you’re out. 

I drop my arm back to my side before looking around, again.

This is not how I planned to spend my afternoon. Waiting for a guy to come pick me up while I wait in the cold.

I mean, I get it. He’s a busy man, but that doesn’t stop a girl from hoping.

And what sucks, is there’s no benches around for miles. And there’s frost everywhere, and it’s cold.

---

!Matt POV!

This sucks. I should be on my way to pick her up. Not stuck in some useless surprise meeting.

I thought about going to the bathroom and just leaving, but then how would Chris and Nick get home?

I sigh and look at the clock, 5:53.

Only 7 more minutes.

Chris’s phone goes off, because he always has to have his ringer on.

“Sorry.” He mumbles as he picks it up and turns off his ringer, but he’s texting someone, that much I can tell.

Chris looks up at me from across the table. Seeming to have known what I was thinking, he mouths her name and it clicks.

I nod and turn my attention back to Laura as she’s wrapping up the meeting, cleaning up, all that fun stuff.

---

!Reader POV!

My phone buzzes in my hand and I’m quick to check it.

Chris: we’ll be out of here by 6, we’ll scoop you up on the way back to ours. Me: that works with me :)

I cross my arms over my chest, this sweatshirt was doing nothing for the cold biting at my skin.

Now, I wait.

--

After about 10-ish more minutes of waiting, I hear the music before I hear the car. 

I roll my eyes and chuckle to myself at Chris’s choice of song before I see the car pull up in front of me.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come get you sooner, we got stuck in a surprise meeting.” Matt apologizes when he rolls down the window.

I just shrug and walk towards the car, going to the passenger side and getting in the backseat.

“It’s fine. I understand.” I smile at Matt through the rearview mirror as Chris turns the music back up and I hear Nick groan.

--

I sigh gratefully when I step inside the boys’ home, the familiar scent and warmth feeling like home.

We all walk into the living room and Nick splits to his room to edit and to shower while Chris goes to his room and Matt walks into the kitchen. I move to sit in my normal spot on the couch, covering myself in one of the blankets next to me.

“Better?” I look up to Matt and take the water bottle from his hands.

“Warmer.”

“Good.” He smiles and sits down next to me, grabbing the remote and turning the TV on, finding something to watch.

I rest my head on his shoulder as he puts on The Sandlot.

--

I faintly hear mumbling, and feel my body shaking softly.

“Hey, hey, wake up.” I lift my head and open my eyes, blinking them a few times before I can see again.

“Huh?” I must’ve fallen asleep, because what?

As if he could read my thoughts, Matt chuckles.

“Yes. You fell asleep.”

“Oh.” I rub my eyes and flip the blanket off of me, my body being warm from the mini, or not so mini, nap.

I hear Matt chuckle.

I re-open my eyes and look at Matt.

“You hungry?” As if on cue, my stomach growls quietly.

“Well now that you mention it.” I chuckle as he stands up from the couch and extends his hands to me. I take them and stand up, stretching as he goes and grabs the car keys.

I slip my shoes back on and we walk to the garage and get in the car.

--

After a bit of driving around, we found a lake like the one we had back home in Boston.

We get our food and we go sit at the picnic table near the water.

“We haven’t really had a lot of time together lately.”

I swallow the bite I was chewing and nod.

“Yeah, but it’s understandable, you know? You guys just got back from tour, a lot of tiredness, jet-lag, catching up on work.” I shrug.

“I know, but I feel like we just aren’t hanging out as much as we used to. And it feels weird.” I furrow my brows and take a sip of my drink.

“What d’you mean?”

“Well… I don’t know. It just feels off not having you around as much.” Then, something in my brain goes off that makes what he’s saying make sense.

“Are you trying to say you miss me?” I chuckle, even though this is a pretty serious thing.

“Well… I-” He sighs and thinks about it.

“I mean, I guess so. Although, I’m not sure how I miss someone who I see practically all the time.” We both laugh at that.

We go silent and just enjoy both our food and each other’s company. 

I will admit, I haven’t really been around, but they did just get back from tour, a tour I couldn’t go on because of college.

“Well, I guess I have been a bit caught up in school work lately.”

“Yeah but that’s not your fault.”

We fall into silence as we finish our food. 

I get up from the picnic table and sit in the grass, pretty close to the water with my knees up. 

I feel his arm around my shoulders as he sits next to me, pulling me closer to him.

“You remember that one time at the lake in Boston when we were dancing and you pushed me in?” I chuckle at the vivid memory of Matt pushing me into the cold water. I did drag him in with me though so I got my vengeance.

“Yeah I do. You made us both sick for like a week.” I rest my head on his shoulder and I feel his head on top of mine.

I wince at the memory of his mom scolding us as she drove our shivering bodies to the hospital.

It’s moments like these that make life happy.

Just sitting in each other’s arms in the cold air.

“I never got to ask, how was tour?” 

“It was good. I may not have won, but I had fun. That’s all that really matters to me.” 

God, this man makes me fall in love with him more and more. 

“That’s all that should matter. Winner or not, at the end of the day it all matters if you had fun. I’m glad you had fun, and I’m sorry I couldn’t go with you guys.”

“That’s understandable though. You had school, I understand that.” He kisses my head, and I can feel the smile on his lips.

“I love you Matt..” It slips out without warning, but I don’t try to correct myself or take it back. Not when I mean it.

---

!Matt’s POV!

My mind blanks when she speaks. I never thought this would happen.

Am I dreaming?

No, I’m not.

“I-” I can’t seem to form words. The words I’ve wanted to hear from her for so damn long finally here, and I don’t know what to say or do.

I love her too. So, so damn much. But my mind can’t make the words to say it.

“I'm sorry. Just pretend I didn't say that.” She shakes her head and pulls away from me as she starts to stand up.

I shake my head and wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her back down to the ground.

“No. No, don't be. I love you. So much more than you can imagine. I just didn’t know what to say, or how to say it. I froze up.”

---

!Readers POV!

“What?”

“I love you. So fucking much. Ever since we were kids.”

My heart flutters. 

I have no other thoughts than him. Everything about him I’ve loved flashing in my mind all at once.

His smile. His hair. His tattoos. His style. His personality. Just, him.

I wrap my hands around his neck, pulling him to me as I plant my lips on his.

I feel his arms tighten around my waist as he deepens the kiss.

The air no longer feels cold, but warm. 

Warm and filled with love.

He pulls back and rests his forehead against mine, smiling.

“I love you.”

Tags ! ♡

@dwntwn-strnlo @ssturniolo @strniolo @20nugs @prettysturniolo @mxqdii @thetriplets3 @slaysturniolo @gwenlore @opheliaofficial07 @gabbylovesreading @luvsturniolo @itsaaliyah2 @strniolosworld

If you want to be added to the list, all you have to do is ask ! ♡

I love you all !

And I hope you all have a good day and / or night ♡

[nhasablogg]

Why do you hide?

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Characters: Reid, the BAU team

Summary: Reid avoids going to his yearly check up for the third year in a row, only this time his team members notice and try to help.

A/N: I admittedly have no idea if yearly check ups are a thing you have to do for work, but pretend it's a thing lmao.

Words: 2.1k

Reid knew what JJ had on her mind the moment he saw her crossing the office to get to where he was standing in front of the closing elevator, and because he knew what was on her mind he did the only thing his semi panicked mind could think of: he turned around and ran, if you could call walking slightly faster than usual running.

“Spence!” Her voice was muffled, which meant she was still inside the office which was good for him. He had absolutely no idea where he was going which in turn made him walk right past the most obvious escape routes (stairs, doors) and instead round the office area over and over. He could hear her behind him now, laughing because this surely looked ridiculous.

“Why are you avoiding me?” She grabbed a handful of his shirt, always stronger than you’d expect, and pulled them both to a halt. “What are you doing?”

“Oh hey.”

“Don’t ‘oh hey’ me.” She was still laughing, caught between concern and amusement and most likely stuck on incredulousness. Reid couldn’t blame her. “Why did you run?”

“No reason.”

“Oh my god, you’re not even pretending to genius your way out of this.” Her expression melted into proper concern. “What’s wrong?”

Guilt seized him, pressing into his chest. “It’s nothing, I promise, I just- Well, I know what you were coming to talk to me about.”

“How could you know that?”

Reid shifted. “Well, statistically it is around autumn time that we do our annual check ups, seeing as most people have recently come back from vacation, flu season is approaching, and the bureau wants to get all of those menial but necessary tasks out of the way before the holidays. It makes sense that you would want to talk to me about it even though that is not technically your job, but with your maternity leave getting closer and Gideon gone I think more tasks like these have ended up in both yours and Hotch’s hands and you probably realized that I-”

“Have skipped your yearly check up for the past three years? Yeah, we noticed.” She softened, something almost maternal crossing her features for just a moment. “Spencer, you know you need to do them. We all do.”

He fiddled with the hem of his sweater. Gideon had been kind about it when he’d realized Reid hadn’t gone to his appointment. He’d not asked. Had figured Reid had his reasons. In the back of his mind, overpowered by the neverending grief of Gideon’s departure, there was a small part of him which had been worried about this exact thing happening. He wasn’t sure what to even say if anyone asked.

But JJ didn’t ask. JJ was also kind about it.

“Tomorrow morning, Spence,” she was saying now, pointing at him. “Don’t let me hear you skipped it this year too.”

“I won’t let you hear it.”

“Spencer.”

He deflated. “Fine.”

“Good. Coffee?”

“Tons of it, please.”

*

Reid wouldn’t call it luck more than a momentary distraction that they needed to be in the air only hours later to fly to Pennsylvania, because he knew neither JJ nor Hotch would be dropping this. He avoided their eyes as if he’d committed the murder himself during the entire flight, but it was easy to have his face stuck in all the files. No one really questioned it.

“The doctor told me I have hypermobile shoulders,” Morgan was saying to Emily.

“Better than the opposite, I guess,” Emily replied. “I’ve gotten better at stretching this past year so she was very happy with me.”

“Wouldn’t want to get a bad grade on your yearly check up,” Morgan laughed. “Hey, Reid?”

Reid, who had stiffened the moment the conversation had started, jumped. “Y-yeah?”

“Sorry, did I scare you?”

“Well, I’m kind of busy.”

“Okay, testy. I was just gonna ask about your check up grade.”

“Oh, he’s not had his yet,” JJ said, sending him a look which he refused to interpret. “We’ll have to reschedule it.”

“Ah, that’s the worst. I’d be overthinking it. Like what are the chances of me developing asthma overnight or something.” Emily’s tone was light, laughter-laced, but Hotch seemed to grab onto her words much more tightly than she’d probably assumed.

“Is that something that worries you?” He was speaking to them all. “The yearly check up?”

Scratch that. His gaze was on Emily, but he was speaking only to Reid.

She shrugged. “Not really. I reckon you’d notice if something’s off before it, although I agree it’s a good system to have. You can never be sure.”

Hotch nodded, seemingly content, but when he dragged his eyes from Emily back to his own file it landed briefly on Reid, holding his gaze for a second too long.

Reid, stupidly, unnecessarily, flushed and lowered his head again, all but touching the file with his nose.

This was gonna be a long week.

*

“Hey kid.” He looked up from his desk to Morgan hovering over him. “JJ told me to tell you your check up’s at three today and to not be late.”

Reid shifted in his chair. They’d only been back for a few hours. He’d hoped that JJ would’ve given him another day at least. “Okay.”

“You seem nervous about it.” Morgan tilted his head, as if something clicked. “Come to think of it, you seemed tense about it earlier this week too. You okay?”

Reid waved him off. “I’m fine.”

“No, seriously. Do you have a fear of doctors?” Morgan leaned closer and lowered his voice. “Is it because of your mother?”

Reid had once confided in him that he was scared the doctors wouldn’t be able to detect it in time if his mother’s schizophrenia had been passed down to him. In retrospect it did sound as if he had a general distrust for doctors because of his mother, who’d not gotten the help she needed early enough. Maybe Reid could use that, only it didn’t feel right. He trusted medical doctors. He trusted they knew much better than him.

He shook his head. “No, no, I just-” He shrugged. “It’s nothing. It’s stupid.”

“I’m sure it’s not stupid.” But Morgan seemed okay about dropping it. It really wasn’t the place to push it anyway, with the office just returning to life after lunch. Reid was grateful for that, only it meant his check up was in two hours and he wasn’t sure he was ready. Felt the first surge of panic about it grip him.

And the worst part was that it really was stupid.

*

“I knew you’d be here.”

Reid knew Hotch would find him and so he wasn’t surprised, only a little shameful, when he looked up to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Hotch pulled a chair out, one far enough that he wasn’t in Reid’s space, and sat. “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

How the hell do you talk about something like this with your boss? “I’m not sure I can.”

“Okay.” Hotch said it slowly, as if waiting for him to elaborate. “How come?”

“It’s embarrassing.”

Hotch raised an eyebrow. “Embarrassing.”

“You’ll think I’m being silly.”

“I would never think that.”

Reid looked down. Crossed something off of the note he’d been writing when Hotch had entered. “You will.”

“Reid, you’re scaring me. Should I have reason to be worried?”

Reid looked up again. Saw something terrified behind Hotch’s eyes. “I’m not using again,” he said quickly, realizing his behavior was probably alerting a whole different type of concern. “It’s not that.” Not this year. It had definitely been part of it last year, although not the main issue. Hotch didn’t seem convinced and Reid couldn’t blame him. “I will pee in any cup you want. I promise you, Hotch.”

“Okay.” Hotch leaned back. “Then what is it? Because as far as I’m aware your check up was supposed to start twenty minutes ago and you’re hiding in here.”

Reid exhaled slowly. “Like I said. Embarrassing.”

“Reid.”

“I just don’t like being touched by strangers.” It wasn’t a lie. Not the whole truth, but part of it enough that it wasn’t a lie. “It makes me feel… uncomfortable.”

“Uncomfortable.” Hotch tilted his head. Did his best not to profile him. “Has it always been like this?”

“Pretty much my whole life. Nothing’s happened, in case that’s what you think. Nothing I can remember at least.” He shrugged. “It probably has something to do with my undiagnosed autism.”

“Ah.”

“You’re not surprised.”

“I’m not, no.”

“Good.” Reid exhaled. “It means you understand.”

“I do to an extent, but Reid-” Hotch cut himself off, visibly trying to figure out how to approach this. “You do realize that that is no excuse to not do a mandatory check up, right? If you had talked to me I could’ve arranged some sort of accommodation. Now it just looks like you’re playing hooky.”

Reid hung his head. “I’m sorry.”

Hotch checked his watch. “There’s still time to do it. I can go with you.”

“No, no, it’s okay.”

“It would be no problem. Maybe it will help you feel calmer.”

“Garcia can go with me.” Reid had blurted it out, but the moment he said it he knew he’d said the right name. Garcia wouldn’t judge. Garcia would maybe tease, but she’d never judge. “If that’s okay?”

“Of course.” If Hotch was hurt that he was picking someone over him he didn’t show it. “I’ll let her know.”

*

Reid sat in front of the doctor and felt like a child. Garcia was doing her best to not squeeze his hand to death or bounce a hole on the floor, because those were the courses of action she’d decided to keep switching between. “I don’t like doctors,” she’d told him in the elevator, but she’d not protested when he’d asked, and so he’d not offered to let her off the hook.

“I hear you were trying to avoid me,” the doctor said, her tone light but firm. “Is there anything in particular you’d like to ask about before we start?”

“No.”

“Okay then. Now, this does not hurt at all and will be over quick. Sit up straighter for me. Breathe in. I need to listen to your lungs. Just like that. Well done, doctor Reid.”

Reid endured the coldness of the stethoscope on his chest and back and only tensed up a little when the doctor touched his lower back. Garcia was watching him intently, which in retrospect was his own fault and made him feel all the more tense. Maybe that was why he jumped when the doctor suddenly touched his side, briefly but softly. And Garcia, who was doing everything in her power to try to be there for him, understood.

“You’re ticklish.”

“Shh, not so loud.”

“That is adorable, boy genius.”

Reid groaned as they entered the elevator. “I don’t like that procedures like that forces you to remain still as you’re being subjected to sensations that you’re not supposed to be still while being subjected to-”

“So you’re saying you’d be fine with it if you were allowed to squirm away?”

“Well, kind of-”

“Say no more,” Garcia laughed, her index finger in Reid’s ribs, only for a quick poke, but Reid jerked away from it nonetheless. “So ribs, sides. Where else are you ticklish?”

“Nowhere.”

“Oh, don’t lie to me now. You can’t have avoided going to your check ups for years just for two spots.”

Reid held up his hands, a smile already on his face and nowhere to really run. Still better than the doctor’s office. Much much better.

“If you don’t tell me I will try them all,” she threatened, taking a step closer to him. “I’ll give you five seconds.”

Reid took a step back and found himself pressed against the wall. “Please.”

“Five.”

“Oh my god, Garcia, I beg of you-”

“Four.”

“Don’t tell Morgan about this, please don’t-”

“Three, two, one.” She stuck her hand beneath his chin. “You ramble for too long.”

Reid was too busy giggling to reply, although he could hear her cooing as well as he could hear the elevator reach their level, knowing she wasn’t done with him by any means but was probably kind enough to destroy him in private at the very least. She was laughing when she backed off, a threatening, teasing laugh, and despite his sensitivity he appreciated the playfulness much more than the concern.

“Watch your back, wonder boy,” she said, pointing at him as she walked away.

Reid exhaled, catching sight of Hotch nodding as he received a thumbs up from Garcia.

He ran a hand through his hair before entering the office with his head held high, hoping his smile had melted into a casual expression and that he wasn’t too flushed.

Much better than the doctor’s office.

[bonefall]

Oh, does wildfur live?

[ID: the Better Bones AU version of Wildfur from Warrior Cats. He is a gray tabby with a "vest" mane around his shoulders, silver paws and muzzle, yellow eyes and whiskers, with a board tied to his waist with string.]

Not only does this dude live, he takes on the Great Journey while in that mobility device.

It's really important to me that, this time around, the Clans don't just leave behind every cat too "slow and weak" to make the journey lmao wtf

There is no question that Wildfur and any other elders and disabled cats will be going on the journey; only a discussion of logistics.

(And also ShadowClan's dark sense of humor, Tawnypelt returns telling them about the lake and Blackstar tells a sadistic joke about leaving behind 4 cats captured by humans, the Clan chipping in while suggesting more and more ridiculous cats to leave behind, like the elders, and Wildfur, and the kittens who aren't even big enough to fight yet.)

Wildfur has a very "rockstar" aesthetic and personality, he's pretty vain and prone to outbursts.

I kinda want Wildfur to have kittens; being an honor sire before his injury works, but I also like the thought of him adopting a kitten in the Lake territory.

Maybe a rogue's abandoned kitten, or a loner who was bit by an adder and left kits behind.

Cinderpelt and Littlecloud are responsible for making that mobility device! It's nowhere near as advanced as Briarlight's is. It's Version 1.

They're getting a little side parable at some point as they hatch a treatment plan together, which will include Wildfur getting chest infections from being depressed and sedentary after his injury.

The problem with V1 of the Mobility Device is how it tends to wear down the twine over time, and there's no way for Wildfur to put it on without help. It's also prone to occasionally getting rocks or thorns stuck under it, so he checks himself for unknown injury after an out-of-camp stroll.

It was still lifechanging though, and gave him the confidence to rejoin Clan life.

There are several points during the Great Journey where Wildfur is physically incapable of accomplishing certain feats, like mountain climbing. Blackstar carries him. All the big warriors take turns.

Wildfur has a pretty relaxing life after that. He's just a really interesting background character.

"Is there a reason he's an elder and not on Kitchen Patrol or something similar?" He doesn't have the patience for it, he just likes being an elder and doing whatever he wants. He still helps out here and there though.

Eventually he passes away of a disease at some point before Briarlight has her injury. He's fondly remembered, and Littlecloud explains to ThunderClan what her life will be like.

Unfortunately Millie still really doesn't take this well, she hears, "please be careful of catching any illnesses or sustaining injury to your lower legs and also we'll have to discuss how to keep yourself clean now that your dirtplace habits will be different" and takes it as "EVERYTHING ON EARTH IS A THREAT"

But, anyway, say hello to one of my favorite little background guys. I'm super fond of ShadowClan and their nasty humor and deep love for each other, I want Wildfur to have a ton of that in him. Looks mean, absolutely adores his family.

He's just a neat dude.

[cosmal]

congrat on 1000😭😭😭😭!!! i have a request for eddie and you can make it your own but i’d would love something about reader and eddie being in a secret relationship and him pulling her into a closet at school during passing period. and they make out and laugh trying to stay quiet lol. you can make it super fluffy and yeah lmao💓 LOVE UR STUFF UGH

thank u so much!!!! ur the bestest thank u for the request <3333

𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 — 𝐄𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐌𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧

summary — eddie pulls you into the janitor's closet instead of going to math class.

warnings/tags — fem!reader, she/her pronouns, making out, secret relationship

word count — 1.2k

The yelp Eddie lets out when you pinch his butt is almost embarrassing. He sounds like a schoolgirl and blushes madly like one. Slamming his locker shut, he turns to scold you. 

“You little minx.” He gasps. He pushes his palm flat against your shoulder and pushes you lightly. 

“Sorry, babe. You’re irresistible.” When there’s no one paying attention, the hallways only littered with the last people headed to class, it’s easy to be this way. Easy not to pretend. “Couldn’t help myself.” 

He groans from the back of his throat, squeezing his eyes shut. “Don’t, Y/N.” 

You blink slowly, “Don’t what?”

Laughing, he says, “Don’t start with me. I can’t right now.”

“What, you’ve got a math class to fall asleep in?” The grin on your lips is small and demure, but blinding all the same. Eddie swallows. 

“No, but if you start teasing me. I won't be able to contain myself.” He leans on his locker and the bag that’s in his hands falls to the linoleum floor. You think he’s the most dramatic boy you’ve ever met. You love it. 

Hand you your chest, faux scared, “God, whatever will I do?” You push your other hand to your forehead and dramatically tip back. Giggling, you then say, “I’m so worried.” 

Eddie seemingly scans the hallway, and when he watches the last students turn the corner, he starts to laugh. You frown. 

“Well, babe. You asked for it.” 

“For what?” 

He doesn’t answer, just wraps his arms around your waist from behind and lifts you up. “Eddie!” You swat his arm, swinging your legs. 

Laughing too loudly, he turns to push open the janitor's closet with his back and drags you both inside. He sets you down and spins you to face him by your shoulders. Eddie thinks the pout on your face is adorable. He has to kiss it away. Now. 

He presses his lips to yours and when they don’t move, stuck in a frown, he pulls away. You don’t look impressed. He kisses you again and you push him back by his chest. 

“What are you doing?” You whisper harshly, crossing your arms over your chest. 

He steps forward lightly and when he thinks you won’t push him again, he wraps his arms back around you, pinning your arms to your chest. 

“Sorry, babe. You’re irresistible.” He pecks your nose and you wrinkle your face. He can see your frown slowly fading. 

“Don’t use my words against me.” You lean into him, up on your tiptoes, and he holds your weight caringly. Squeezing you like you might slip away. Like all the other times you’ve had to pretend - letting go of hands too quickly, making sure your stares don’t linger too long. 

“They’re so smart though, sweetheart.” He frowns deeply, “How could I not?” Then, his stupid grin is planted right back on his lips. How could you hate that grin? And the pretty face behind it? 

Even pretending to be mad at him is hard. Especially when it’s hard to publicly show how much you actually like him. Too many lost moments are painful. Incredibly so. 

You think you should spend every moment with him, loving him. If you can’t do it in public yet, you’ll spend all your time alone showing him how easy it is to do. 

“Eddie,” your voice is airy and light, and Eddie knows you’re putty in his arms, “Don’t you have a class?” 

“Don’t care,” He plants you flat on your feet and snakes his arms to rest over your shoulders, crossing behind your neck, “This is way more important.”

You poke his chest, “Eddie, c’mon. You gotta keep your attendance up. We can’t be-“

Eddie kisses you to shut you up. Not because he doesn’t want to hear it, but because he knows you’re right. He detests it, really. So, no, he actually doesn’t want to hear it. He wants to make out with his girlfriend and forget about school completely. 

You pull away and Eddie feels so suddenly needy. Like every time you break the loving kisses he’s trying to adore you with, you take away bits of his dignity with you. 

“But you-” He leans forward to kiss you again and huffs a whiny plead right through your mouth.

“Eddie-” Kiss. “Stop.” Kiss. “Baby.” Baby, you say. He thinks he’s winning this game. The game you don’t know you're playing. This time he leans under your chin to kiss you, right on the skin over your jaw. He can feel your giggles over his lips.

“Stop,” You gasp, trying to hold back the laughter that’s bubbling in the back of your throat, “Stop.” The way you’re trying your best to be firm with him almost makes him want to laugh too.

Eddie raises his hand to cover your mouth, stifling your laughter. “Shh, babe.” He squints his eyes to keep his composure, “Don’t wanna get caught do you?”

Your eyes are wide, blinking softly as you shake your head. He lowers his hand and you lick your lips. He continues his attack on your neck, kissing and kissing and kissing. The laughter quietens completely and you’ve gone a little too quiet.

You angle your head a little and he thinks you don’t actually want him to stop. Parting his lips he murmur against your skin, “Don’t go all shy on me now, sweetheart.” The hitch in your breath and when he feels you swallow against his mouth, he knows you don’t want to stop.

“Eds,”

He chuckles then closes his mouth around your skin, nibbling gently. “Stop saying my name.”

You push against him and your knee comes up between his legs, pushing gently against the inside of his thigh, “You’re not listening to me.”

“Sorry, babe,” More nibbling, teeth grazing against your reddening skin, “Can’t focus when I’ve got my mouth all over you.”

You pull away from his bullying mouth and his lips let out a wet pop, “You’re such a tease.”

Eddie chuckles, a lovely, hearty sound that makes you smile just as kind. You reach a hand up to cup his face, thumb circling his skin. He subconsciously leans into your touch and you can feel his face warming under your palm. 

“We really should get back.” You murmur. Your voice is almost too quiet but Eddie pouts like he heard you.

“Don’t wanna.” He shakes his head against your hand. You press your thumb into his cheek and then drop it back to your side. You know if you keep holding it there it’ll just make him want to stay even more. A tether, you think.

“C’mon.” You point your head towards the door.

There’s a beat like he’s thinking hard, “How many more days? Remind me again.”

“Eighty-three.”

Eighty-three days until school is over and you and Eddie don’t have to pretend anymore. Until everything can be normal. The both of you don’t like to dwell on the fact that you can’t be together in public just yet, but a countdown really does get you through it.

He nods, “Okay. Good.”

You kiss his cheek and head for the door, “I’ll see you tonight?”

Eddie beams, “Yeah. Yeah, you will.”

You open the door and leave, and Eddie waits an appropriate amount of time before leaving himself. Then heading to his math class before falling asleep.