#lmao scumbag system

[meltedmush]

[bishy437]

congratulations to moshang for being the most popular pairing of my mxtx charms! 💙 🧡

And congratulations to Coffin!Hualian for being the overall most popular item LOL ❤️🤍

[liramic]

BINGHE QUEEN OF HEARTS, THE QUEEN TO SQQ'S ALICE

YES SQQ'S SYSTEM MISSION IS TO SAVE BINGHE THE QUEEN, NO IDK THE PLOT someone else make it up pls

Man I love Alice in Wonderland AUs for anything and everything

Here's Shen Qingqiu Alice :)

[everytimewetouch-dot-mp3]

shen yuan, dragon god of cang qiong mountain sect, has a new mission.

[Mission {Master of Masters} at 2% progress. Subquest {Master of One} begins now! USER_002 must obtain protagonist [Luo Binghe] as a personal disciple! Continue to work hard!]

there are steps between, of course. shen yuan comes back down the mountain once he’s calmed down—just to check on binghe, not to make a scene! but yue qingyuan was alerted that their sect’s god had descended his peak, and a meeting of all cang qiong’s lords was called. every peak lord is called back to cang qiong. it’ll take a week for everyone to arrive—liu qingge is off on a night hunt, and shang qinghua is accompanying his head disciple to negotiate contracts for fabrics and dyes (and, shen yuan thinks resentfully, probably off doing traitor-to-the-sect business. fuck that guy).

while they’re waiting, shen yuan is invited to stay on qiong ding—as if he doesn’t have a perfectly good mountain he can ascend again until the peak assembles. but yue qingyuan seems anxious to have him, and shen yuan is kind of internally geeking out over getting to properly meet this sect leader. so he agrees, and he’s arranged in a manor fit for a visiting sect leader, which is kind of insane. rich, dark woods; silks in qiong ding’s deep blues and grays; night pearls illuminating every room. is this how people live in this world???

yue qingyuan…hovers a fair bit. surely he should be busy with sect-leader-y things, but apparently having shen yuan come down is a huge deal that requires yue qingyuan’s constant attention. bringing tea and snacks, accompanying him to meals on each peak with all the lords in residence (except shen qingqiu), escorting him to and from qing jing every day when he goes to check on binghe.

that always seems a little uncomfortable for yue qingyuan. shen yuan is still rightfully pissed about binghe’s treatment, but he hasn’t gotten that horrible feeling that his territory is under threat again, so he assumes binghe is alright. the first time he tells yue qingyuan that he’s going to qing jing to check on ‘that young disciple your shidi thought it right to whip,’ yqy gets this constipated look on his face before—before fucking defending sqq.

saying sqq isn’t a cruel man, really—or, he is, but not without reason. all of cang qiong’s disciples are disciplined when it’s appropriate, he says. shen shidi has had problems with that disciple before, and lord canglong shouldn’t judge him too harshly before he hears the full story.

the furious energy crackling around shen yuan is enough to cut yue qingyuan’s entreaty for leniency off. yue qingyuan always seemed like the kindly big-brother type in the novel, if a bit too indulgent of sqq. and shen yuan always wondered why he would turn a blind eye to sqq’s abuse of lbh when he knew it was going on. now he’s seen it with his own eyes, and yue qingyuan still has the audacity to try to cover for sqq, and it kind of makes shen yuan sick.

he’s been doing his best to play the part of the great immortal now that the upset of his initial descent from the mountain has passed. but when yqy defends sqq like this, shen yuan can’t help but drop all pretense of formality and glare, eyes blazing, at this sect leader. ‘do you think i’m fucking stupid?’ he spits. and yqy pales, horror in his eyes, trembling more as shen yuan lays into him.

to discipline a child is to teach them the way they should go. what does whipping a thirteen-year-old boy teach him? shen yuan knows what luo binghe has learned from his shizun’s instruction. that he is stupid, incapable, unworthy of his martial family’s care. that the sect who took him in—the sect shen yuan himself established centuries ago—only took him so it would have something to beat.

shen yuan is pissed. he doesn’t wait for yqy’s escort to qing jing; he takes his sword there himself, finds luo binghe, and brings him back to the guest manor yqy set him up in. binghe is confused, of course, to be faced with his savior’s fury, but when lord canglong makes a request of him, he’s all to happy to comply. and if he buries his face against lord canglong’s robes as they fly back to qiong ding, it’s only to protect his face from the wind.

there’s warmth in his chest whenever he walks near lord canglong, and as he’s led by a hand on his shoulder into lord canglong’s guest quarters, binghe feels like he might combust (in one part, from the overwhelming, humbling joy he feels at being the subject of his sect’s god’s attention; in the other part, because lord canglong’s grip is imbued with so much spiritual power it makes binghe’s skin tingle all the way down to his toes).

binghe follows lord canglong into the main room and, when it’s clear they’re done walking, he sinks to his knees in gratitude.

‘enough of that, luo binghe,’ shen yuan splutters, reaching to pull binghe up from his kowtow. honestly, he’s going to be the emperor! none of this prostration; it’ll only be a debt on his head later on! ‘get up. i won’t see you humble yourself to this—uh’ shit! System, help! What do gods like this call themselves?!!

[Answering USER_002, his title is {Lord Canglong, Shen Yuan, Grand Master of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect.} ‘This Grandmaster’ would be expected and appropriate.]

god, that feels so pretentious. shen yuan swallows his millennial sensibilities and does his best to thicken his face a little. ‘—to this grandmaster whose sect has treated him so poorly.’

binghe looks up with stars in his night-dark eyes, and it takes every shred of shen yuan’s self control not to soften at the awe in this child’s face. how come no one told him little lord luo would be so cute?! of course he’s adorable; he’s the protagonist.

‘this—this lowly disciple wouldn’t dare—that is, he wouldn’t presume to, um—lord canglong is—”

poor thing! too cute, too cute!

‘luo binghe is not lowly,’ shen yuan says first, because that feels like the most important part to address. no humbling yourself in front of this old dragon, ah! no debts to this sect! ‘didn’t this grandmaster say in front of everyone that luo binghe is uniquely gifted?’

‘this disciple thought…’ luo binghe’s eyes are already trained on the ground, but he shrinks into himself at this. in this grand room, luo binghe looks so small, so unlike the menacing demon lord shen yuan knows he’ll become. ‘this disciple thought that perhaps, in his anger, lord canglong…exaggerated… to make a point to shizun.’

‘if i have anything to say about it,’ shen yuan mutters, ‘he won’t be your shizun much longer.’

at that, luo binghe’s gaze snaps up, his shoulders tight. ‘this stupid disciple doesn’t understand.’

‘not stupid,’ shen yuan says immediately. ‘what this grandmaster means to say is just that. luo binghe will not be a qing jing peak disciple for much longer. this grandmaster does not trust qing jing peak’s lord to raise luo binghe well, so he will do it himself.’

[amimuu]

What if Narinder was a scum villain or smt…. (AU THING!?!)

You can you up, no can no bb. If you are so insistent on the story being terrible, okay, go on and change it! Let’s see how this story’s biggest hater does in the shoes of the main villain.

SVSSS x COTL?!?!!? More likely than you think!!!! (Doodles under the cut!!

‼️Slight blood warning‼️ )

Hey….

*crowd actually cheers for once*

That’s weird. Who are you people.

*crowd stares at me confused*

Uh…Bing bong so my brain once more decided to torture me with visions (mixing one of my fave books with one of my favorite games—) so now this exists—

These weeks have been a LOT. I went into a stress induced creative block and right after went to French summer camp?! Writing this as I’m supposed to be asleep LMAO (dw I’ll be okay) but ANYWAYS!! What is this?!

Crossover duh—but to those who don’t know the plot—okay. Just imagine ???? is this guy who reads a webcomic. (Which is cult of the lamb! Let’s forget the game exists. It’s a webcomic in this universe ) So he hates it because it’s bad. Like. Bad. The protagonist is too powerful, there are a bajillion plot holes, too many love interests—and god, what is that world-building?! He detests it, so as soon as it’s done he leaves one last hate comment—

As he chokes on his food.

That doesn’t end well.

Anyways, waking up, ???? realizes he has transmigrated into said story…as Narinder, the main villain, hated by all, and with the worst ending of all the antagonistic characters. The why of this? Well, the story is so bad, surely even someone like him could take matters into—quite literally—his own hands. Plus, he’s got a game-like system that rewards him or punishes him depending on how well he does in “fixing” the plot…while also not being able to break character, at least for the first story arc. Oh dear.

And so Narinder’s adventure starts. Survive, improve the outcome for everyone and—seduce the protagonist…? Wait—no—that wasn’t part of the plan-!!

Anyways. I’ll talk more about this silly thing later…when I’m not falling asleep at least dkfnkdjfjejfj. Hopefully you enjoyed the ramble and the doodles. Until next time

[morethanwonderful]

The Winner of the Which MXTX Character do You Most Want to Study Like a Little Bug Tournament Bracket:

Winning by 4.2% after an incredibly tense and uncertain race, Shen (Yuan) Qingqiu has officially beaten Nie Huaisang and been crowned the MXTX character that the fandom would most like to study like a little bug!!!

It is truly a marvel that just some millenial keyboard warrior managed to win out over so many uber-tragic xianxia characters in the fascinating weirdness race. Congratulations Sqq for your bafflingly unhinged brain and gay denial.

I hope you all enjoy putting him in your bug jars, and thank you once again to everyone who voted! This poll was a blast to run, and y'all have brought me much joy with your tags and replies this week.

[star-mail]

@radiantaro ' s swap au :]

im on vol 4 so i dont fully understand the au yet BUT IM GETTING THERE :D

[khionnom]

some of my inktober drawings!! bc i forgot to post these and I am so behind on these. (posting and drawing lmao)

day 1, 2 and 4 are all in some way related to a svsss au I've been thinking up but idk how much I'll talk about it, bc idk if any of it would even work lol.

like I'm too unfamiliar with the genre and don't have enough time to do proper research so this au is living off of me bullshitting my way through the genre and a dream.

for now, here are some of the designs I've drawn for this au, first the unstable man ever Luo Binghe on day 1, then 24/7 stressed Shen Yuan on day 2 and my favorite horrible man Shen Qingqiu on day 4 <3 and let's see how much I'll actually talk about it.

also little fun fact: most of what sparked this au idea has to do with Shen Qingqiu lol

[hagelwolke]

Wasnt sure if I should share this one here but i love wizard! Hua! Living in solitude somewhere in the middle of the forest, where no person ever goes, minding his own business, practising spells and whoops -what’s this? Was there an ink stain on his spellbook?- suddenly there’s a mighty demon (mbj) sharing his small home.

[lmao-ooooooo]

does anybody ever think about how sickly and weak shen yuan must have been to have died of food poisoning? like, the number of things he wouldent have been able to to growing up with such a weak immunity system and how, now that hes in a new, stronger body, he can do so many things he didnt think hed ever be able to do how stressed and overprotective his family must have been over him overbearing ?

like imagine, hes being offered something that he usually cant eat, around the first few years as shen qingqiu and his immidaite response is to decline but then he remembers he can eat that now!

or like one day shen qingqiu catches a fever or sm and hes like "oh! a fever. did not miss this!!!" and drinks some tea and takes whatever xianxias version of painkillers is and proceeds not to tell anybody bc he forgot that him getting really sick is normal and to him. until hes talking to someone about something and he takes a cake (bc he forgot he should not be eating that) and he starts coughing really bad and everyones panicing and binghes about to kill someone bc he thinks someone poisoned his husband

(imagine shen qingqiu gets sick. not even that ill! a common cold and remembers white on white, blue clothing and pitying looks from people. not expecting to live past 20 years for how sickly he is and crying, and binghe just feeling so helpless because his husband is sitting there and suffering because of some trauma and he dosent know what to do)

[ahwait-no-yes]

bon appétit

[skaviola]

Royal AU..

12 year old prince binghe fell in love at first sight with his royal tutor's younger brother, Shen Yuan.

[chokingonfeelings]

Gender Swap AU idea (aka TLJ gets pregnant and bingqiu are girls)

TLJ and SXY fall in love, TLJ gets pregnant, SXY refuses to betray TLJ (not knowing of the pregnancy) and is locked up and tortured in the Water Prison forever while officially getting kicked out for "having ties with demons."

Meanwhile, TLJ is ambushed and sealed under a mountain, barely managing to protect the baby in their belly despite the sharp sting of betrayal. TLJ manages to slow down the baby's growth for a while and lengthen the pregnancy time while they try to heal a bit, but eventually runs out of energy to keep that up and ZZL has to help them, uh, get the baby out. It's a gory process, what with being under a mountain.

TLJ struggles emotionally and physically to care for the baby, so ZZL eventually decides to abandon the child in the forest, arguing that the baby would probably die one way or another anyway, and at least this way TLJ doesn't have to watch it slowly happen.

Instead, a rogue cultivator (SJ) stumbles upon the demonic baby and, at the whims of her beloved disciple NYY, decides to spare the demon spawn and let NYY care for it much as if it was a pet, assuming NYY will get bored sooner or later or the baby won't make it to the year.

The baby, against all expectations, manages to survive and grow into a energetic youth, who SJ treats more like a personal servant than a child/grandchild. That is, when SJ isn't mistreating LBH (NYY named her that bc she liked the Luo river in winter... Look, she was like 9) for being half demon and taunting her about being abandoned to die/being generally abusive. This eventually culminates into SJ throwing LBH into the Endless Abyss during the immortal alliance conference, where SJ reunites with her long lost childhood friend and, aware that she is a shady ass rogue cultivator with a half demon for a """disciple""", decides to clean up her image a bit (or at least avoid getting blamed for the attack) by uh. Quietly getting rid of said demonic disciple.

Abyss arc, LBH fully blackens, goes to the demon realm, hunts down info on her bio parents, visits TLJ to ask them why they abandoned her/even had her in the first place if they didn't want her, TLJ tells her that SXY betrayed them but TLJ couldn't bear to get rid of the baby... And then the baby looked exactly like SXY and TLJ couldn't bear looking after the baby either. LBH comes to the conclusion that all humans/cultivators are Bad, breaks her parent out of mountain jail as a first and last act of filial piety, and they raze the human world to the ground (separately).

CQMS and SJ oppose them, with YQY dealing a killing blow on a weakened TLJ but almost dying in the process. LBH walks in, realizes YQY and SJ have some sort of bond, and kidnaps/tortures/kills YQY to hurt SJ. (People assume it's in vengeance for the dead parent thing but uh, no, she just fucking hates SJ and wants her to suffer)

SJ meanwhile hunts down and acquires Xin Mo as a last resort to avoid the end of the human world as they know it, learns YQY has been taken, and fails to get there in time to save the woman from being kicked into the Endless Abyss in a "fuck you" parallel (already practically dead, since YQY expended what little life form she had still in her to temporarily cripple LBH via self-detonation). LBH and SJ fight, SJ gets the upper hand through Xin Mo's corrupting influence, and SJ "finishes what she started" by decapitating LBH. Then Xin Mo turns against her and she dies horribly of a qi deviation that rips out all her limbs and melts her internal organs.

The story finishes with red and teal flowers growing where their puddles of blood coalesce, and a lotus blooming from the bloody flesh of LBH's severed head. The Endless Abyss rift, still open and active under Xin Mo's passive power, further corrupts the nearby lands and it's left ambiguous whether the rift will ever close or if the monsters there will start escaping it and spread over the lands, potentially dooming the human realm anyway.

......So of course when SY transmigrates into the main villain SJ her first order of the day is 1. Love and cherish the tragic figure of LBH 2. Be a decent mother figure 3. Not yeet her child into the Endless Abyss. 4. Maybe try to orchestrate an early meeting with YQY and get a cushy job at CQMS and some decent cultivation education for her disciples/kids. She needs that job security, goddammit.

(Spoilers: LBH gets the mommy kink of the century and enough mommy issues to make Freud rise from the grave dick-first. And yes, she gets together with SY/SQQ in the end and it's a bit weird for those who Know but nobody has the balls to say anything because LBH has always been Like That... And her life's dream since childhood has always been to be forever with her shizun so like! Good for her???)

(Also, through a series of convoluted events and plenty of face slapping, the Old Palace Mistress is eventually outed as the Bad Guy All Along, and a very fucked up but barely still alive SXY is rescued from the Water Prison. TLJ either gets released or gets a plant body, and SXY and TLJ get the opportunity to start anew with a LOT more shared trauma this time. ZZL is just glad he got to take his pound of flesh when SXY and TLJ rained unholy vengeance on the old palace creep.)

[chocochococoffee]

please reblog if u can

[everytimewetouch-dot-mp3]

svsss omegaverse au where only those with profound cultivation ability develop into alphas or omegas. this means both powerful spiritual cultivators and powerful demon lines

under luo binghe’s rule, any alpha or omega in the general populace is brought to bingge’s palace. omega women are added to the harem without question, tho there are a notable few alpha women there as well (shl and lmy).

sy transmigrates into a wandering omega cultivator exploring the world (the world building was the best part of that dumbfuck novel and now he gets to experience it firsthand!!!). his exploration quickly takes him from the few safe remaining human cities and into the wider world.

he’s chased for days by different demon groups until one finally catches him, because junshang’s been hell-bent on finding some particular male omega for the past few months. he’s put out a bounty and everything; whoever brings the right omega gets riches and their choice of one treasure from junshang’s vault.

everyone thinks he’s gonna kill this dude. they assume the omega wronged junshang somehow and he wants revenge. sy is scared absolutely shitless. these guys tie him up in immortal binding cables and beat him up a little bit. by the time they make it to the underground palace, sy looks fuckin rough

and surprisingly, lord luo is not pleased by this. so displeased, in fact, that he cuts the demons down right there in the middle of his reception hall? sy is 100% sure he’s gonna be next and he nearly passes out when bingge approaches. (part of him is screaming because!!!! luo binghe!!! in the flesh!!!!! with an air of power and deadly beauty and strength!!!! the protagonist!!!)

lbg studies sy’s face for a minute, then has servants take him away. he’s bathed (THOROUGHLY!! maybe TOO thoroughly!!! he can wash his own ass!! thank you!!) and styled, and with the cables removed he can finally heal his injuries from being captured.

the next time they meet, lbg seems weirdly angry. his hands are shaking and his face is red, and every time he makes eye contact with sy, he growls and looks sharply away. he’s definitely barely holding back from killing sy!! maybe it’s because sy left the human cities? maybe it’s because he was poking around somewhere off-limits?? sy has no idea what he did.

lbg leads him down down to the water prison, and again sy almost passes out. my mans definitely pukes into the water just from the smell alone. it’s…a gory scene. but what’s most unsettling about it isn’t the emptiness in sqq’s eyes or the desperate grunting that only becomes louder the closer lbg brings sy.

what’s most unsettling is how similar they look. they could be brothers, their family resemblance is powerful. same face shape, same nose, same cheekbones.

and sy gets it then. bingge is done playing with sqq; there’s nothing really left to do to him (though he’s still got his dick…sy was one of the loudest proponents of cutting it off for what he did to ning yingying!) so lbg must be looking for a replacement.

lbg studies them both for a long time, as if cataloguing all the similarities between their faces. the whole time, sy is shaking, trying not to fall over. eventually, lbg must be satisfied, because he looks sy up and down slowly before muttering. ‘you’ll do for now. we can see how you measure up.’

POORLY!!! shen yuan is determined to measure up extremely poorly to that old shizun of lbg’s!! to save his own skin, he’ll be nothing like that asshole!!

thus begins shen yuan’s plan to treat the emperor with such doting, kind respect that he’ll see nothing of sqq in him beyond his unfortunate face!! surely lord luo won’t want to kill someone so kind to him!!

(every measure of shen yuan’s kindness is overwhelming to lbg. after so long he’s found what that other him flaunted in his face. a close relative of his shizun’s, no doubt, (maybe a twin separated at birth?) who became that other binghe’s shizun in that timeline. he’s kind and gentle and so concerned with binghe’s wellbeing in a way…no one has since his mother, so so long ago. that one morning with the other shizun was so sweet, but this—having this omega here in his palace, fussing at him to eat more and dress more warmly when he goes to the north, smiling unrestrained, smelling so impossibly sweet—this is so much better than he could have imagined. luo bingge will convince this shen yuan to be his omega. not as a concubine, but as a proper wife. first wife, maybe. empress, even. whatever it takes to get him to say yes. whatever it takes to keep him.)

[amimuu]

MIRE SGSS AU AND MY SOUL IS YOURS TO JEEP 🙏

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🙏🙏🙏😊😊🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

“Everything that’s happened in the past, I’ll repay it all to you today” or something…

…Hey do you know what my favorite part of the svsss novel is.