#lmao my friend got obsessed to the same level as me and is starting to read the books

[skitskatdacat63]

I can't stop thinking about Dune....

[nocturniashifter]

What makes your dr self so attractive? | PICK A PILE

₊˚๑ How to choose: Close your eyes, take a deep breath and choose the image that caught your attention. ₊˚๑ Disclaimer: All readings are done for entertainment only, don't use my readings as a replacement for legitimate advice. This is a general reading, so take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Hello, my angels! How long, right? Well, I'm back with another PAP that just came out of the oven. Thank you for the 400 followers 😔🫶. Ready to discover what makes your dr self so attractive? ;)

⊹ ࣪ ˖ masterlist | book a reading with me | tips

⊹ ꒱ PILE ONE ᨦ ♡

"Wow, y/n is just so charming; you can’t help but want to be around them!"

"Every time y/n talks, it’s like the whole room stops to listen!"

"Y/n has that friendly smile that just makes everyone feel at home; it’s hard not to like them!"

Hey, pile one! First off, let me just say that your beauty in your DR is out of this world – so if you scripted that, it’s definitely doing its thing! You’ve got this striking, almost intimidating presence, whether it’s your looks or the way you carry yourself. Either way, it makes you super attractive to a lot of people in your desired reality. Tons of people have a crush on you – especially if you’re a public figure, like an artist, but even if you’re not, the same applies. You’ve got people who would literally be happy with just a glance or a touch, hoping for any little sign of affection from you. It’s like you’ve got a fan club of simps just waiting for your attention, lol. Seriously, people would crawl at your feet, but don’t let it go to your head, LMAO. That said, be careful, because some of these people might be a bit too obsessed and wouldn’t take rejection lightly – if that worries you, I’d definitely recommend scripting affirmations for safety and protection, especially if you’re in the public eye.

People also think everything you touch turns to gold. They see you as this super successful person who just excels at whatever you set your mind to. You’ve definitely racked up a bunch of wins and achievements in your DR, and that only adds to the image people have of you as someone who thrives. Your voice? People find it incredibly attractive – especially if you’re a singer in your DR. You’ve got that kind of presence where the moment you walk into a room, time seems to stop and everything just brightens up, and all eyes are on you.

What really makes you even more attractive is the fact that you’ve been through so much in life, but you’ve come out on top. Your whole life has been a battle for your dreams, and the fact that you never gave up is something people seriously admire about you. On top of that, you’re great company – you make people feel comfortable and at home when they’re around you, which just adds to your appeal.

But here’s the thing, pile one: you’ve probably broken a lot of hearts lmao. You’re like that unattainable halfway crush that a lot of people are into, but you’re just not reciprocating their feelings, lol. People are constantly trying to be friends with you, and it seems like you even start trends without realizing it. You're definitely leaving your mark wherever you go.

⊹ ꒱ PILE TWO ᨦ ♡

"Y/n has this cool, badass energy that just draws people in; it’s impossible to ignore!"

"Honestly, y/n’s style is on another level; it really shows off their strong personality."

"Y/n isn’t afraid to stand up for what they believe in, and that just makes them even more attractive."

Hello, pile two! Let me start by saying that what makes you so insanely attractive in your desired reality is your aura. You’ve got this powerful, badass vibe that screams, “I don’t give a fuck,” and it’s honestly magnetic. A lot of you in this pile are shifting to more intense realities, maybe an anime or one that’s action-packed/dangerous, and your energy fits perfectly. You come off as someone who’s fearless, and that combined with your style, really makes you stand out – your fashion sense is on point, and it doesn’t just reflect how badass you are, but also how unique and authentic you are. People are drawn to you because you don’t try to fit in; you’re unapologetically yourself, and that confidence is incredibly attractive. You radiate this commanding presence that makes people stop in their tracks. There’s something about you that captivates those around you, like they can’t help but be intrigued by you. People are definitely hypnotized by your vibe – whether it’s your intense stare, your boldness, or just the way you carry yourself like you’ve seen and conquered it all. It’s almost as if the world bends to your will, and trust me, people notice that.

Even though you have this tough, badass exterior, there’s more to you. People also see you as someone who is selfless and would do anything for the greater good – this especially applies if you’re shifting to a reality where you’re a hero or someone who fights battles. You stand for justice, fairness, and equality, and that moral compass of yours only adds to your attractiveness. You have this strong desire to make life better for not only yourself but for the people around you, and that determination is something others admire deeply.

For those who are lucky enough to be close to you, there’s this undeniable sense of loyalty you exude. You’ve got that “I’m all in for you, no matter what” energy, and it’s clear to your inner circle that you would go to extreme lengths for the people you love. You’d take a bullet for them, and they know it. That kind of dedication makes you stand out in a world where loyalty can be hard to find. However, with that loyalty also comes your overthinking nature. You sometimes get anxious and worry too much about things going wrong in your relationships, but that just shows how much you care.

On the flip side, you don’t tolerate any bullshit. If someone’s toxic, you don’t hesitate to cut them off, you have no time or patience for people who try to drag you down, and you’re not afraid to remove yourself from harmful situations, no matter how tough it is. You always find a way out, and that resilience is something people admire about you. It’s like you’re unstoppable, and that only adds to the mystery and allure you bring into every space you enter.

⊹ ꒱ PILE THREE ᨦ ♡

"Every time y/n walks into a room, it’s like they own the place; they really know how to grab attention!"

"I mean, with all that charm and confidence, it’s no wonder everyone is trying to get close to y/n!"

"Y/n just has this way of putting themselves first and cutting out the drama; it’s seriously appealing!"

Hey, pile three! Let’s dive into what makes you incredibly attractive in your desired reality. When you walk into a room, heads turn, and it’s as if the world stops for a moment – people can’t help but admire you. You command attention wherever you go, and your popularity is through the roof. Just like in the other piles, you have this knack for getting what you want, especially when it comes to material things – money is not an issue for you, so you can pretty much buy anything your heart desires. It’s as if the world is at your feet, and that undeniable confidence only amplifies your allure.

However, with great popularity, fame, and wealth, there are those who might approach you out of pure interest or ulterior motives. It’s essential to stay vigilant because not everyone has your best interests at heart. Some people may want to be around you just to use you or bask in your glow, so it’s vital to discern who your true friends are. Just like in pile one, many people desire you, but you come across as somewhat unattainable, which only fuels their admiration and frustration when they realize you won’t reciprocate their feelings. You’ve got this vibe that screams, “Someone is going to be heartbroken today, but it won’t be me!” because you know how to prioritize yourself above all else.

Your badass energy comes from everything you’ve been through; you’ve learned to fight and emerged stronger. You absolutely do not tolerate any bullshit, especially in relationships. If someone isn’t treating you right, you won’t hesitate to cut them off. This attitude extends beyond romantic partnerships; it applies to every aspect of your life. You’ve learned your worth and have no problem walking away from toxic situations or people who don’t respect you. For you, life is about enjoying every moment, and you live it to the fullest. If you were to end a relationship, you’d be out celebrating while your ex sits at home, missing you – that’s just the energy you exude – free and unapologetic. You’ve literally built your own empire, which is incredibly attractive. Each challenge you’ve faced has only added to your strength and resilience, and people are drawn to that. Interestingly, you look especially stunning when you wear red; it highlights your confidence and adds to that fierce energy you naturally possess.

If you have a s/o in your desired reality, they absolutely adore you and feel incredibly lucky to call you theirs. They see you as irresistible and find it hard to contain their excitement when they’re around you. Your presence lights up their day, and they think about you constantly, eagerly awaiting those moments together. Expect plenty of passionate encounters because they’ll make it clear that they love you deeply, wanting to show you just how much you mean to them. In their eyes, no one could ever love you as profoundly as they do, and they are determined to prove it every chance they get 😏.

That was it, guys! I really hope you liked it. See you next time! ♡

© nocturniashifter - don't copy, redistribute or edit my content | moodboard

[taifenggg]

The brain has been obsessing over pokémon lately again, and now I gotta ask the obligatory question:

What pokémon would be each character’s favourite/what type would they be a gym leader for?

YKNOW ITS FUNNY YOU SENT ME THIS CAUSE I ACTUALLY HAD MY OWN THOUGHTS ABOUT POKEMON X OBEY ME.

Here's my basic rundown and explanation for why I made things the way they are for my own Pokemon AU. I'm probably not going to do Mephisto, Raphael, and Thirteen in this unless people ask for it lmao.

long post under the cut

The Brothers:

Lucifer: Since he's the strongest avatar of sin, and technically Diavolo's right hand man he would probably be an Elite 4 member. Lucifer would most likely specialize in fire type pokemon with his signature pokemon being Houndoom(which can mega evolve) because he has Cerberus.

Mammon: I struggled a bit with Mammon's but ultimately I settled on him being a dark type gym leader. His signature pokemon is Honchkrow because of its crow motifs and how it kinda fits into the mob boss aesthetic which I think Mammon would love. His gym puzzle would probably look like a casino, so if you've ever played Persona 5, the gym puzzle would probably look a lot like Sae's palace and you have to play your way up to Mammon in order to challenge him. Also if you start getting upset or look sad he'll most likely panic and go easier on you.

Leviathan: The most obvious choice here is a water type gym leader. He literally sleeps in a bathtub and has a giant fish tank in his room lmaoo. I could definitely see his signature pokemon being Milotic because he thought Feebas was just a little guy and took it. And then he got mad when Mammon said Feebas was useless, so out of spite leveled up his Feebas and got high friendship with it so he could wipe the floor with Mammon using Milotic. His gym puzzle most likely consists of a TSL quiz and if you get anything wrong you get doused with water and sent back to the beginning of his gym. He's a sore loser though so if you beat him he might refuse to give you his gym badge and Lucifer has to intervene.

Satan: I feel like he'd be a grass type trainer just to spite Lucifer because he has fire types and he wants to show that he can use grass types to beat Lucifer's ass(spoiler alert, Lucifer wins because of the type matchup). His signature Pokemon is Meowscarada because obviously Satan loves cats so he'd probably immediately pick Sprigatitio as his partner, but also I chose Meowscarada because its Pokedex entry states that it's sensitive and prone to jealousy. So in a way, kind of like how Satan is with MC when it comes to Lucifer lol. His gym is modeled after a library(so like Lenora's gym), and you're tasked with going around the library and finding certain books for Satan.

Asmodeus: For Asmo, I feel like he would be a fairy type gym leader! I feel like it suits him, and I think he would love how both elegant and cute fairy types are. His signature pokemon would most likely be Sylveon, also evolved via high friendship. Both Sylveon and Asmo have the ability to charm others which I feel is very fitting for him. Asmo's gym puzzle would probably consist of something like a fashion show or something of the like, because Asmo would probably love to garner the attention of his beloved fans whilst at the same time showing up any challengers that come to his gym.

Beelzebub: Beel would most likely be fighting type gym leader! He would probably have a Bewear as one of his signature because like Beel, it appears friendly, you shouldn't underestimate it. Also Beel to me is like a big bear, cuddly, adorable, friend-shaped, but definitely not something I'd want to piss off. Him and Belphie would probably have a joint-gym where you can challenge the twins, and once you beat one of them you can then proceed to challenge the other. His side of the gym looks kind of like a sports field and you have to make your way through an obstacle course, working together with your team to get past.

Belphegor: So like I mentioned before, Belphie would have a joint-gym with Beel most likely in this instance. His signature Pokemon would probably be Snorlax! Not just because Snorlax falls asleep in the most inconvenient places but also because it eats A LOT. He likes that because it reminds him a lot of Beel. He's also the type of trainer to have the tankiest Snorlax that just refuses to faint and it's super annoying to deal with. Belphie's gym is modeled after a planetarium, and he's also a part of the sore losers gang. So he won't give you his badge cause he's a petty bitch and Beel needs to step in.

The Dateables:

Diavolo: the Champion, probably the most obvious choice because he's literally the ruler of the Devildom, and wants to help the three worlds come together. So two things, a leader and he has a goal that he wants to achieve in mind. I feel like his signature Pokemon would be a pseudo legendary and I settled on Goodra because like Diavolo it's known to be very friendly towards anyone but will not hesitate to fuck you up if you enrage it LMAO.

Barbatos: Another member of the Elite 4, Barbatos would be a psychic type trainer. I definitely feel like he would have an Espeon because they're known for being extremely loyal to their trainers, kind of like how Barbatos is with Diavolo. He is not someone that you want to mess with and he's noted to be one of the harder Elite 4 members because he somehow manages to stay one step ahead of you at all times.

Simeon: 3rd member of the Elite 4, Simeon specializes in flying types. His signature Pokemon is Togekiss, and its pokedex entry states that it's extremely friendly and concerned for others. Kind of like how Simeon will always go out of his way and still cares deeply about the Brothers and Lucifer, even after they were rejected from the Celestial Realm. Togekiss like to avoid conflict so like Simeon, he also likes to stay out of trouble, operating behind the scenes and only stepping in when necessary.

Luke: Your rival! Luke's always one step behind you, trying to prove that he can keep up with you. Luke's signature pokemon is of course, Fidough/Dachsbun. He got it as a gift from Simeon and his goal is to become to Champion so he can impress Michael and Simeon.

Solomon: I struggled a bit with Solomon's mostly because I couldn't decide what would be the most fitting for him. It didn't really feel right to put him as your other rival because he's clearly much more knowledgable on a lot of things, and he's of course your teacher in the base game. And an ace trainer didn't feel fitting for him either because he doesn't really seem like the type of person that would constantly be out and about. Ultimately I figured that the professor would fit him best because again, he knows a lot of things, and not only this but he would most likely guide you on your journey to becoming the Champion. I feel like Solomon would definitely have an affinity for ice type Pokemon, but his team is pretty well-rounded. His signature Pokemon would probably be Froslass because of how mysterious(?) it is, and how Froslass can also be very protective towards those that it cares about, just like how Solomon is with MC.

That's all from me for now! Here's my brain dump lmao

[waitmyturtles]

Last Twilight, episode 1: reflections

TW: suicide

ALLLLLLLLRIGHT! Aof Noppharnach began our year with Moonlight Chicken; interjected it with Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars, and bookends it with Last Twilight. I've got my cha yen ready (not too sweet), here we go, Last Twilight, episode 1.

Some quick notes on random stuff first, then themes I'm picking up on:

1) Yes, we had to have Doc Jimmy start a new series with a new fight, huh (and always in these bowling shirt/jackets, too)

2) Ajahn Pichai with the gold chain, sheeeet! (Listen. It's my OGMMTVC Bad Buddy Meta Month. Just about everyone working on this show on the screenwriting and directing team are BBS alums. The comparisons will be unavoidable!)

3) Why do I know Sea Tawinan? It’s not because I watched Vice Versa (I stayed away), but because he was great in a small role in 55:15 Never Too Late, AND, more importantly, homeboy wore an off-shoulder Fendi sweater WITH a blazer (CLAP EMOJIS) to some GMMTV event, which warmed my couture cockles. Much respect for the taste! (Poor @lurkingshan has had to literally hear about my fashion obsession with this get-up MULTIPLE TIMES, sorry Shan, palms together!)

4) Of the few episodes of Midnight Museum and UMG that I watched earlier this year, I was not impressed with Namtan Tipnaree, but I appreciate that she's starting off quite strong and moodily here. (Also, UMG's script did literally no human being any justice.)

@twig-tea has gathered the ragged and burnt out (oh, is that just me, lmao) Ephemerality Squad from the Only Friends meta circle to join them in a Last Twilight Liminality.... what should we call ourselves, the Liminality League? The Liminality Legion? Someone choose! Anyway, I am super down, and ready to start chewing on some themes. Twig captured the big theme of liminality, of time purgatory, and I totally agree with what you've gotten down in your post, Twig.

In the preview episode for this series, Before Last Twilight, we learn that Day has 180 days -- six months -- of vision left. At the same time, Mhok has 180 days -- six months -- to earn enough money to buy back his late sister's car.

In addition to liminality/time purgatory (this is only my coinage, btw, a way in which I can understand the moment in life this show is capturing), we clearly have a theme of cars and movement. Mhok is a mechanic. He wants to keep his late sister's car. The Bimmer that Night is driving is Day's car. Mhok has to get Day home on the back of a motorcycle as Night had to drive away while Day was wandering in the middle of the road. A car can move backwards only very temporarily, and will HAVE to move forwards at any point in time in order to get to another location (..... unless you're a driver from New Jersey, ayooo!). The car belonging to the late Rung is very much in purgatory at the moment.

We have a theme of sibling rivalry between Day and Night. Day was the success of the family, knows it, and hangs it over Night's head. And we have a theme of opposites. Day, Night, blind, seeing. I can play badminton, I cannot play badminton.

(BY THE WAY! We know we'll be reading more into badminton, AND in the rivalry of Day and Night, AND in the rivalry of Sea and Mark in this series, yes? Mark Pakin and Sea Tawinan are both national-level Thai badminton players who chose acting as their careers. They're facing off in some GMMTV BL sports tournament at the end of the year. I hope it's slightly aggressive! In Before Last Twilight, Sea actually made reference to his rivalry with Mark. Ooooh, TESTY!)

While I'm watching closely the tension between Day and Night, I'm also watching for the stress and pressure that caring for Day will put on Mhok, as well as Night and his and Day's mother. As many of us are watching Last Twilight very closely for accuracy and authenticity in reflecting the experience of a disabled person in an unaccommodating environment; I'm also looking to this show to hopefully capture stories of caregiver stress, which is an incredibly real and important phenomenon (relevant articles here and here).

As I always, always harken to in my posts: behavioral change is very real, and very difficult -- especially when behavioral change is forced upon an individual AND/OR a group, all of which contain very different emotional constructions. Day and Night's forced behavioral change, based on Day's vision condition, has very naturally and automatically caused stress in the group dynamic of Day's family system, as we saw in the outburst in Day's car. I wonder how Mhok will deal with that stress, and how he'll manage his own stress vis à vis caring for Day.

Last theme for now, and then some concluding thoughts. Mhok's emotional distance from his sister's suicide. He can't bring himself to connect with it directly.

I'm eating this up. It's certainly Mhok's way of grieving at the moment. He's also talking with his ex-girlfriend in both of these scenes. There's emotional space between him and Rung, between him and Porjai. And certainly there's simmering and unresolved anger as well -- honestly, the whole emotional circle. But Mhok, at this point, is not toeing the line of getting close to those emotions, and is engaging with the memory of his sister with distance, which is bound to be addressed vis à vis his connection with Day.

There's a lot of anger, a lot of regret, a lot of avoidance, a lot of dancing around the honest truth. Mhok and Day are likely conduits of emotional openness and steadiness to each other; we will see how it plays out.

What do I think of JimmySea? I'm not you're average Wai hater -- I really liked Jimmy as Wai in Bad Buddy. Because I didn't watch Vice Versa, I honestly don't know what I think about him in a lead role. So I am going in REAL fresh, knowing nothing about JimmySea's chemistry, and I like what I'm seeing so far, particularly with Jimmy's emotional control. I appreciate having seen a bit of the work they did together in Before Last Twilight to get to this series premiere.

Aof has done this before: he's recognized potential in pairings (specifically in Dark Blue Kiss with TayNew and Still 2gether with BrightWin) to come up with fabulous shows. So I have trust that he knows what he's doing with JimmySea. Let's see. I really like this so far, but Only Friends did indeed burn me out to a crisp, so I'm allowing myself the slightest touch of hesitancy as I get into a new and big GMMTV show.

[foreststarflaime]

How about 2, 3, 11 and 23 for whichever members of AGSZC you feel like?

Oh boy you got it, ty for the ask!!! I’ll probably just do them all

2. Did you always like this character?

Angeal I did always like on some level. I loved the banter he has with Zack on the first mission to Tamblin so much! He is very funny and dad-shaped

Genesis I honestly do not remember my initial feelings towards, which means I probably didn’t hate him initially. I was probably between neutral and vaguely like I think?

Sephiroth…hm. My first exposure to him was just Remake, so I didn’t really have any of the backstory that makes me adore him. I thought he was a cool villain, very dramatic

Zack? ABSOLUTELY. I am victim to the puppy just as much as any of us

Cloud, oh yeah of course! He was my original favorite (him and Aerith), I loved that sad pathetic loser but kinda cool energy

3. What first drew you to this character?

“You’re a liiiittle more important than my sword. But just a little.” *most mischievous happy chuckle*

For Genesis it was him being a drama queen. Gotta love that flair. And I’m obsessed with books and trench coats too 🥹

For Sephiroth it was definitely how Crisis Core humanized him. I adore Sane!Seph <3

Zack’s puppylike charm and unquenchable optimism is so so endearing and I love characters who are like that

For Cloud it was honestly kinda the whole mysterious thing he had going on with the weird headaches. That boy was NOT okay and I needed answers

11. How did you “fall in love” with this character?

I’ll combine AGS on this one bc it’s very similar for all of them. Short answer, seeing all the little breadcrumbs of how human they were Crisis Core dropped in various places, and their chemistry with and love for each other. Reading fanfics with them in it only made that worse as I got to see more of that in fanon. Then I went on a massive fanfic binge and read anything I could get my hands on with any form of AGS content in it and now I am permanently addicted. Briefly, my favorite thing about each of them that grips me by the throat: Angeal’s instinct to keep his emotions bottled up inside, honestly I resonated with that. For Genesis it was his whole struggle—the desperate desire to just want to live, to be who he was and be happy. For Sephiroth it’s how deeply he cares for his friends.

For Zack, all I can say is just watching through Crisis Core and getting to follow his narrative. That was more than enough for me, I was ride or die for Zack by like the first 30 minutes in

For Cloud it was honestly pretty much just the same thing as Zack—getting to know him by seeing his story play out in Remake. I am an absolute sucker for characters who care about their friends as much as these guys do, and the weirder about it they are the better

23. Has this character permanently altered or impacted your psyche in a way you won’t forget?

YEP.

I mean all of them have, you’ve seen how much I post about them. I connect them with everything I see these days. Like every cute animal video, etc etc etc. It’s an addiction. And these are the first characters that actually motivated me to write the fanfics I had in my head down to post them. And they connected me to all of you guys—I was never really active on any social media until this fandom, and I’m so glad I finally did start interacting! But as for specific stories—

I’ve accepted I’m nonbinary for…oh close to a year now? It took going to Oxford and getting to try things out in a new environment for it to sink in. But anyways fast forward to this summer and me discovering and feverishly writing about the trans Genesis headcanon. I was writing the fourth chapter of Silence, and researching top surgery stuff for that, and while doing that research was when it finally hit me that I wanted to do that. Which was simultaneously terrifying and exciting. So thank you Genesis for helping me process my emotions enough to start having nervous breakdowns about that lmao

And then somewhat similarly I was writing this Sephiroth-centric sort of character study fanfic which was very much projection about struggles talking to people and having a hard time finding the words to say things, etc yknow the type of thing, which is when my wonderful qpp @fridgefanatic started clowning on me about that being an autism (or at least some flavor of neurodivergent) thing, which threw me down that rabbit hole faster so yeahhhh

[echoes-lighthouse]

Three Fun Facts About Interview With The Vampire And My Actual Life

1- When I told my mother that I wanted to buy "goth clothes" at the age of twelve, she sat me down and gave me a talk on goth subcultures, and how I should make sure to choose carefully. She was a gothabilly in the 1980s, and had friends who were really into the Anne Rice scene to the extent of fucking in graveyards and drinking each other's blood, so she warned me against vampire goths lmao

Anyways I was immediately like 'you can drink other people's blood???' and proceeded to start a small group of blood drinking 12 year olds :/ It was a really good attempt at good parenting but unfortunately I am unhinged. Thanks for trying, mom.

2- having the Francis Bacon paintings in the background of the TV show is one of the most unnerving things, because I had that same triptych on my wall for part of University, but in postcard form: I saw them in Liverpool in 2016 and literally fell in love with them, they were one of my favourite art pieces for a while. I can't put words to how obsessed with them I was. It was hard to focus on anything except for them when they were in the background of shots.

3- Last year, I watched two episodes of the first season, and then took a break to read the book: the TV show absolutely did not prepare me for the book content, and I was dumbfounded. So if anyone else watches the show and then intends to read the books, feel free to hit me up for content warnings, because the books are an entirely different level of fucked up.

Also, I read the first book and was like 'where the fuck does it go from here???' and then I picked up the second book and got absolutely hamstringed by the first paragraph. The tone shift from book one to book two is legendary and I was, once again, not prepared at all.

[confessionsofa-roleplayer]

This is gonna' be a girthy one guys. First: I left tumblr in 2019, I couldn't stand it. When I tell you I had an awful experience using this app for 9 years for roleplay, I really fucking mean it. It was fantastic from when I was younger, I started using it around 2012 or so and it was when things were enjoyable. I saw the CREATIVITY that a community could create when it was something like [REDACTED.] Somewhere along the lines, it all died? Like, it was so s sad to see such a fun concept die along the way, I still don't know why.

Somewhere around when I turned 18, I was noticing people were horrible on here. I had friends that would tell me they screenshot dms, discord, and anything that could be a recipt "just in case" I was like "Just in case what motherfucker? Huh?" And then I got hit face first with callouts on my dash, people leaking dms, private conversations, ex friends posting their "testimonials" -- keep in mind, this was not me or in relation to me, and some of these were very much valid and warning of REAL LIFE dangers to others, while others were about shipping incest. I don't care if you think it's gross, that isn't the point. The point was never that callouts let people know X user writes X and to avoid / block, it's that every single time this happened, someone would add a completely irelevant factoid about X user like " they did this to me 2 years ago and I did not like it!" Okay? Alright? A lot of this could have been discussed in dms or just not posted to get 200 notes and somehow end up calling X an abuser. I've seen this so many times, it's not some isolated incident.

For some reason, friends could not part ways without having a mt. of dirt on the other and dumping it all out when the time calls for it. It was like everyone wanted their 5 minutes of fame. It was made infinitely worse when this site became extremely self-sanatized where if you wrote anything that was "probalmatic" or "toxic" you were REQUIRED to be a victim of that same event. Imagine, for three minutes, a self-rightous 17 year old has the gall to ask you if you've been SA'd before because they found you rping this with your rp partner. Even if you think this is gross, there is literally MOUNTAINS of evidence that shows healthy exploration of these thoughts, kinks, and experiences in an enviorment you control is cathartic. Weather or not YOU, the uneducated individual without the psych degree, start yelling "SEEK HELP" as if this was not already a proven method of controlling and facing trauma. Let me tell you: you're not. It's fiction. It is writing. It is fake, a real life occurence, but it is still fake. I have seen people sexualize their fantasy-murderers on the same level as anyone who wanted to write SA porn. Again, this isn't about if you find it acceptable or not, it's about NOT BEING your place to dictate how, when, or who can write it on any grounds, especially demanding to know someone's HISTORY of assault, like imagine being so utterly brain dead that you think you, a stranger, deserve to know anything like this LMAO? it was incredibly common! It was crazy!

Shit, Im getting to the bottom of the box lMAO. Okay.. but yeah, I left tumblr for 4 years to try different sites. I've been on Aniroleplay, and let me tell you. The sanatization the anti crowd wants leads to that. A christian-promoted rp site where if your character is shirtless or has big boobs you get banned because it's "indecent" or "obscene." Twitter has the same amount of problems since most of the minors and obsessive repressed losers left for it. Actually worse than tumblr, it is now peak 2017s tumblr.

I've been on other rp sites where i've had some of the best rp, rich roleplays, GREAT partners, and fun little oc creation experience I ever had. Everyone listed their interests, if you didn't like, you didn't BRING IT UP. You continued like adults, and if not, you block. Boom. The site literally ip bans you if you harass someone. That's what tumblr needed, but instead, all we got was people using statcounter in the midst of 2017-2020 to show who was "stalking" or who left the page open by accident, or something. I was so anxious id have my ip leaked, even if it wasn't a precise location, the idea of someone finding my name and ruining my life was horrifying. I've seen it happen, I've seen people lose jobs from it, I've seen what someone awful with INTENT can do.

Leaving was the best thing ever. I came back only recently because I wanted to try and find a few partners and imagine my fucking shock when I see " NO drama, NO callouts that aren't SPECIFICALLY in reference to A REAL INDIVIDUAL who poses a danger to others " it was insane. It wasn't an isolated incident, but every profile I follow has this, it's all around blogs I wouldnt even think of following, but when I check, I see it there. It's like they all got exhausted with the constant "THIS PERSON WRITES X AND X" like alright? BLOCK THEM, you clown.

This was really just something I've been thinking about. Sorry if this is too long, but thanks for being active for so long guys.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

@doomsayings I had to make a separate post bc I have too much to say for a reply lmao. But I’M OBSESSED!! I literally only started Housewives to humor a friend but then it got me like immediately lol. I’m not current on either tbh tho. Housewives I’m on season… four? The one where Carlton and Joyce joined. And VPR I’m on season two. I’m trying to watch to keep up with both so that they’re like around the same time ish for any crossover content.

General thoughts, I’m in loooove with Lisa Vanderpump. She’s so sexy 😭😭😭 and she seems like the most genuine and normal of them? Hate that they’re all turning on her rn where I’m at in the season. Like leave her alone!!! She hasn’t done anything wrong ever.

Season one was really funny with the insane Kyle and Camille drama. Probably the only time Kyle has ever been justified imo sjdhdd. It was really cool how Camille turned around and became the least dramaful person over the subsequent seasons tho. Like she ended up leaving the show but Good For Her. It sounds like she had some like capital T Therapy and became way more mature and mellow.

Kyle was fun in like season one? But she’s been kind of pearl clutchy and annoying since idk. It’s good drama ig. But I’m neutral on her. I liked her relationship with Lisa a lot though rip it made a lot of sense why Lisa wanted to step back. And it’s been really funny how Kyle’s legit just acting like a jealous ex over it and being like “but why don’t you love me anymore :C” I was very 👀👀 when they kissed in Paris as a “joke” tho.

Adrienne seemed really chill and level headed at first at least next to the others and then got bizarrely touchy by the end. I love drama but hers seemed really petty all the time, so I was glad she left the show. Also she like transparently absolutely LOATHED her husband from the first episode, so I’m surprised it took her that long to get divorced.

Also past season but the Taylor thing was scary!!! It was insane seeing the “woman yelling at cat” meme in context and it’s like in the middle of her mental breakdown due to her abusive af husband.

I used to like Brandi a lot but she’s spiraled pretty bad? Like on intro she seemed genuinely really nice and just vaguely without a filter (same) and everyone was ganging up on her for objectively really minor things or interpreting her in bad faith all the time. But idk she got genuinely super racist with Joyce. And now she’s being mean to Lisa 💔

Carlton’s fun but insane. Love her weird goth house and how she and her husband are both clearly sleeping with the nanny. Also just all the very gay moments with Brandi and it’s hilarious how much she seems to hate Kyle for no reason?? Kyle could just be like “hi” and she’s like WHY WOULD YOU EVER SAY SOMETHING SO PASSIVE AGRESSIVE?? I’m sad to see her go but also shdhdfd she is just kind of crazy.

Joyce is meh. She’s just kind of boring. But very pretty. I am happy to stare at her. I know she doesn’t last past the one season either.

Yolanda seems deranged in her personal life but the most solid and reasonable in like the friend dynamic and when drama goes down. It’s really insane though how she’ll just say something completely crazy in passing and then gloss over it shdgd I think she also leaves soon? But she’s fun.

Kim’s also eh. She has soooo many issues but she handles them kind of annoyingly. Her life story is so fucked up and interesting though.

Re: VPR Stassi is probably my fave, she’s so messy 😭😭😭 That entire friend group is just awful! The way they have zero boundaries lmao. It’s like sitcom levels where they’re just together all the damn time. It also makes me feel better about adulthood lmao like these people act like insane teenagers!

Stassi is probs my fave. Love her mean girl energy. Scheana is vapid but probably like… the most solid friend? All the others are such assholes lmao. They never show up for each other!

I’m also not like there yet obvs but I have heard of Scandoval. So rn being at the point where Sandoval and Kristen break up (probably for good?) and the initial #vibes with Ariana, loosely knowing how it goes, is insaaaaane.

I also love every time there’s Housewives crossover, and they’re catering a party or something and are like “what the fuck is wrong with these rich people” shdhff like yeah.

So I’m having a great time! I love Mess!

[gibblegabber]

i wrote most of this a month ago but might as well spill my personal nonsense regarding kick on his 14TH ANNIVERSARY WHHHHHHHH

nothing interesting it’s truly like a diary entry

i’ve been keeping to myself while i wind down from another hyperfixation with KB:SD, because it has to come to an end, because there’s very few people left in my life who were there in the fandom while it aired, because i get so fucking depressed when i think about it.

how do i describe this. Kick reminds me that i’m alive. he ALSO reminds me that i’m a failure. he’s the reason i finished art school and also (part of) the reason i stopped pursuing art as a career. the show’s run was the best time of my life and at the same time i was dealing with an overwhelming amount of trauma.

and i packed ALL of that into this silly 6.5/10 rated cartoon. why??? because it just happened to be THERE when I was going thru some shit?? sometimes i think “this could have been any cartoon, the timing is what mattered” and other times i’m like no…the adventures we had in mellowbrook were genuinely incredible and if it were any other fandom, i wouldn’t have met the same amazing people!!! do you know how thankful i am to have Kachiimi and Misha in my life still??? REALLY FUCKING THANKFUL. i don’t deserve them in the least!! they’ve known me at my worst and happened to also SEE me at my worst in person and they’re still my friends and i love them very much, i hope they know that.

and if anyone’s still following me that knew me during the KB years, or was friends with me during that time… 1.) i’m sorry. i was crazy LMAO and 2.) just know you made the whole experience so so awesome :) i appreciated so much that the fandom was a tight knit group of people, no drama, just a great place to be when my life was falling apart around me.

yea if i psychoanalyzed this whole thing i wouldn’t like the answer. but. it doesn’t change how much Kick means to me, and how much he’ll always mean to me!!

it had always been a bucket list thing of mine to be the number 1 fan of something at some point. ever since i was like nine years old i was like “man that’d be cool if it happened”. never in a million years would i have guessed that it would be this. but in a weird way Kick was exactly who i needed at that time. someone whose failures were just his fuel for success. someone who didn’t let his shortcomings stop him from achieving his goals. someone who kept going even if the world was against him. looking back it’s really no surprise that i got so attached.

obviously i’m far from the number 1 fan position now. who knows if i ever really was; i only knew a fraction of the fandom that called me the “queen of the KB fandom”, and Sandro had called me the number 1 fan at one point so i just took it all to heart. i would argue that Aisha took that position when school and jobs and life started consuming my life more than fandom did. or well, all of this is a moot point when you consider Jackie who is definitely 100% his number 1 fan LOL. but wow, what a time. we were so lucky to interact with the crew as much as we did.

it doesn’t seem like much but it really made me feel like i could do anything. if Kick had gotten a third season you KNOW i would’ve stopped at NOTHING to be on the team in some way shape or form. i would’ve flown out to LA in an instant and not looked back. despite everything. i would’ve done it.

kinda sucks considering uhhhh THINGS that got revealed about the director years later, so in the same vein i’m very happy that Kick did not get a season 3. but when the show ended something in me died, or i came to terms with something, idk what it was. something like: i knew i’d never feel the same way about a cartoon again so i didn’t bother trying. i stopped drawing almost entirely for 10 years.

aaaand it’s true. over a decade and i never came close to the level of obsession i had with Kick, and never really wanted to either. THEN i got slapped in the face with IZ and well…let that be a long and cheesy post for march 30th or something. :P and as much fun as it’s been and continues to be, it’s a DIFFERENT sort of experience from KB. it can’t compare. maybe in 10 years i’ll look back on IZ friends and fandom times and reminisce fondly on them too.

KB:SD is stuck where it was. if that makes any sense. there’s a lot in the show that i don’t think modern day fandom would take kindly to. there’s a lot of crack shipping and shenanigans we got up to back then that isn’t okay now. (god… okay i don’t miss that part LOL. i cringe painfully at a lot of it, but i DO miss when people understood the fucking difference between fiction and reality. it was a different time for sure.) it just is what it is.

and that’s okay. i’m gonna let it go, again, and i’ll be back on and off. it hurts. it hurts every time this happens but that’s okay because Kick taught us to live till it hurts. :) 🤘🏼✨

[x-authorship-x]

so I guess this isn't really relevant or interesting but I was thinking about the seals Inoichi got from Minato for his secret room and I was wondering how they survived the kyuubi attack? are the seals integrated in the walls themselves or on paper so Inoichi could/can put them up himself? and if they were integrated in the walls was the T&I building in a part of the village that was lucky and stayed untouched (or not attacked enough to be destroyed)?

Also did other friends of Minato and Kushina get seals, scrolls or something from them too like Inoichi?

(btw this is literally a showerthought I had the other day lmao😭😅 it's probably not that exciting to answer, I was just thinking of the people Minato and Kushina were friends with bc in canon Kushinas friendship with Mikoto was only mentioned in that oneflashback and it never mattered... like no one had anything to hold on too from them and so on [it's probably bc of how the story is told but it just bothers me that they were supposed to be so important/great when they lived but then were never mentioned at all]) Also did Hiromi know Kushina?

Hope you have a lovely day💜

Hey Sisdiss!

Don't worry, I'm happy to talk about anything in my fics etc ☺️ however I'll split the answer up because I don't want to just word vomit and not make any sense haha

1) Inoichi's Office: so the vault is actually a vault. Like a real vault, seperate from the bricks and plaster etc. Think:

But obviously the size of an actual room. It's engraved, which is where Kushina was invaluable... I like to think of Minato as being the erratic paper nin because Jiraiya was such a hair-brained tutor whilst Kushina was taught in a more well rounded way, including fuinjutsu with different mediums, and she helped him engrave his special Kunai so that's how they started dating, IMO... Also I like the idea of Kushina in a forge with her chakra chains whilst Minato is like an obsessive bookworm haha

In my version of Konoha's village planning, T&I is in the same 'Quarter' as the hospital, which was untouched by the Kyuubi attack, so the building has remained intact the whole time. However, if T&I was destroyed, the vault would survive and be reinstalled in the new office. If Nagato levelled Konoha, Inoichi's vault would survive because Kushina is THAT good. Shisui's not wrong in thinking the vault is the safest place in Konoha, it's basically a nuclear bunker.

2) Kushina and Minato's friends: frankly - and I agree that it's mainly the fault of the way the series was written - these two ended up feeling like the kind of people that everyone has lovely things to say about... After they're gone. When they were alive, you could count their real friends on one hand. And there's a very good reason for this, tbh;

Kushina: she was, like, 10 when she came to Konoha and we know she struggled to adjust. She probably left a lot of her childhood friends behind, she was introduced to Mikoto through their parents, and she clashed with missing her own culture AND not adjusting instantly to Konoha's culture. Konoha is.... clique-y and Kushina was very boisterous about being proudly Uzushi AND Uzumaki. It's like going to killer-in-training school with a foreign princess who has made it clear she hates it here- oh wait, that's not a metaphor.

Adding in my HC that the Uzumaki are Matriarchal and the canonical fact that Konoha treats it's Kunoichi like SHIT, you're looking at Kushina not being very... Social butterfly. She's got Mikoto and that's it, at school. Outside of school, she definitely spends all of her time with Mito and family, and she spends a lot of time with the Fuinjutsu Guild... But there's distance there. Kushina has left home, where she's the Kage-equivalent's daughter (Mito's her great-aunt) BUT was surrounded by family + home... to a place where the social distance between average Konohan people and an 'Uzumaki Princess' isn't being respected but IS being respected by Uzushio-migrants etc. So Kushina is pissed because she's clashing with the Konohans BUT kept distanced from her own people except for, like, Mito, Tsunade, and Mikoto. Add in the turmoil of being a Jinchuuriki down the line and Kushina is known by everyone but close to very few.

Minato: he starts off as literally nobody. He's like a faceless kid in the BG of main character shots, the ones the artists do really quickly so he looks kinda trod on. He's an orphan and he has a last name... To a civilian clan that's completely cut off from him. He grows up in the orphanage and goes to the academy with nothing of his own. Minato is hollow-cheeked and dirty-fingernailed and Naruto is so, so, much like his father in more than just colouring, it's tragic. But Minato is a bookworm, he only has his brain to rely on, and he's got average chakra, no heritage to speak of.

So he studies, he claws himself upwards with a warm smile and a silenced voice. He's nobody, no friends in school, until they're old enough to be doing exams and suddenly he's the top of every class. No one knows who he is, craning their necks for the so-called Rookie of the Year- and Jiraiya is given a team, team seven with the usual Rookie who is a no named orphan. Jiraiya isn't built to be a teacher but Minato doesn't have a clan or family to complain about teaching methods and fairness. By the time he's built a life for himself, how is he going to make friends? He's friends with his colleagues. Inoichi, Shikaku, Chouza, he's tentative allies with Fugaku, he's done time in ANBU (he's fast, Jiraiya taught him fuinjutsu because that's what Jiraiya is willing to talk about, and he's useful but not irreplaceable... Of course Minato was ANBU) and he knows Sakumo, promises to tutor the war hero's son, gets an apprentice, starts making more and more waves...! Becomes Hokage, takes his guards under his wing because, well, he sees them more than most people and that's how you make friends, right?

It's lonely at the top but it's fucking lonely the whole way up there as well when you come from nothing and few see you until it's too late.

So... No, I don't think Kushina and Minato had a lot of friends 👀

3) Sealings presents: considering that ^^ unintentional rant (😅), the few people close to them both would have presents, I'm sure. Raidou inherited all of Minato's notes, Mikoto probably has almost all of Kushina's personal effects but 90% is sealed up for Naruto (fuck you, Sarutobi). I imagine that Mikoto's blades all have engravings for sharpness and strength and chakra conduction in them... Let's say that Shikaku's shogi board was also a gift from Minato, just a nice normal board 🤷 I haven't thought too much about it, tbf

4) did Hiromi know Kushina? Absolutely, Hiromi was the ANBU tattooist for decades before her husband popped off the mortal coil and she renovated his leather shop. She would've been prominent in the Guild, which is unfortunately on it's very last legs these days. It's literally dying of old age, the art is losing a lot of traction in Konoha (everyone wants a big exploding Jutsu, or they give up after learning a barrier seal... No one wants to devote three decades to an apprenticeship with half that time spent mixing ink or smelting fine silver trinkets or embroidery because that's not battlefield glory 🙄) Hiromi was one of Mito's 'inner circle', the first Uzushi who immigrated alongside her when she married Hashirama, so she would've known Kushina quite closely from her arrival.

Phew! Sorry for the rambling, hope this makes sense~

Have a great day too 💖

[scuderlia]

tagged by my beloveds @oscarpiastriwdc & @liamlawsonlesbian

what color are your eyes? the general consensus is that they're green, but i think i kinda cheated my way into green eyes because i've just got blue eyes with yellow around the pupil 😭

(reference images below)

tell me about your pets/your dream pet: i have a standard poodle. he's the love of my LIFE and i'm obsessed with him. he takes the same anxiety medication as me.

share an interesting fact about yourself: i was trained in opera when i was younger but stopped to focus on being a theater kid (tragic).

what was the first fandom you were a part of? idk if this counts but i used to talk about bbc earth documentaries with randos on kik when i was in elementary school. (proper fandom though, probably harry potter lmao i started reading it when i was nine)

do you have any phobias? i don't really have any fears (which is slightly concerning) but i worry and obsess over literally everything so i feel like that sweeps this category.

are you a picky eater? if so, what food can't you stand? other than being vegetarian i'll eat pretty much anything OTHER THAN SPINACH. the only exception i have to this rule is maybe spanakopita. i also consume incredibly low levels of dairy because i lowkey am lactose intolerant so���

do you eat the burger and fries at the same time or one after another? i always taste the burger first but then alternate between the two from that point forward. i also have to end with the fries or it feels incorrect and i think about it for the rest of the day.

winter or summer: oof, depends where. probably summer but i don't love sweltering weather, so if i'm able to be somewhere where i'm not burning up but just pleasantly warm, it's perfect.

favourite fanfiction tropes: friends-to-lovers if i feel like having a magnifying glass held to my heart, but any kind of complicated relationship where there's lots of emotional turmoil always leaves me gagged.

are you studying or working? what do you study/is your job? i'm an architecture student <3

what is the last country you visited: mexico!

(enjoy this photo of the balcony plant i fell in love with)

what country would you want to move to after retiring? i don't know if i want to stay put after i retire... i'd be pretty content to just travel around until i drop dead. if i had to pick though maybe Belgium or Amsterdam, some of my family is from there and it's where my brother wants to live.

who was your first crush? god, i think either Sigourney Weaver as Ripley in Alien or Gillian Anderson as Scully in The X-Files. my parents are big into sci-fi so i watched both way too young, but it was a great way to kickstart my sexuality ig.

how did you get into f1 fandom? i've been watching f1 my whole life but fandom-wise i've been lurking since like 2015-ish and only properly got into it these past few months.

~ i'm not tagging anyone but pls do it if you'd like :)

[khaleesiofalicante]

Isgt I'm gonna try to keep it short but I make no promises lol... I do have LBAF V and VI to catch up to I have no regrets...

Selena having Arthur will always make me soft, and ngl I was kinda pissed at Lexi and Gabriel at first. I get them, but Lance is just baby🥺. Also, Lance helping Selena with the pain while giving birth and basically protecting Arthur before Arthur was born PLEASE I CAN'T 😭

Fucking hate Victoria for training Kincaid so young and also Madeline making life miserable for David. Those two are on my list of people I am willing to become a criminal for 😤

I don't know what drugs Other Max is on, but I can't deny he is funny as fuck LMAO. That scene with him and the shadowhunters trying to take the institute omfg

Max and Other Max convos always have me conflicted because they're so intense but at the same time it's him fighting with himself! Pls this man took self-hatred to a whole different level😂

Kincaid🥺🥺🥺. The first meet with Arthur was>>>>. I will kidnap that boy if I have to, he's the sweetest boy ever and he likes the other sweetest boy ever MY HEART CAN'T HANDLE THAT!!

“Why would you be scared of shadowhunters?” “Why would you be scared of shadow demons?” Arthur asked, equally confused. THE WAY THIS REFLECTS THEIR REALITIES ARE ON OPPOSITE ENDS. Arthur, growing up with Lance, is used to demons being friendly because his brother controls them and would probably tell them to never harm his family vs Kincaid. Growing up in Idris, being scared of what they have seen the shadow demons do... Fucking wow

Antoine really be giving books and changing lives. I want to be like him growing up🥰. Also he and Abigail???? HOT!!!

Someone said the experiment Atlas was trying with the lemon juice on paper was foreshadowing of Lance having angel blood but only being able to see it if you add another thing and I can't stop thinking about it. Still not sure it would matter to the clave if he did, but at least that way Lance and AJ could be parabatai!!! Tell me they will be. That's all I'm asking at this point 😭

I get Rafael having to put up wards against Lance, or someone might do something worse, but also... Dick move😒

“He does,” Rafael chuckled. “But that’s okay. He is my little brother. He has always hated me a little bit. The same way Abigail hates you. I’m fine with it. I can handle the hate. What I can’t handle is if he ever stops trusting me.” My therapist will hear about this, Dani😭

Gigi is the MVP. Only smart person here with common sense and fucking empathy. I'm glad to see the apple didn't fall far from the tree with Atlas 🥰. I just love how much Atlas loves his mom and is constantly thinking about her sjhskdbdj

Alec's chapter is to chaotic to sum up but I loved movie night 🥺🥺 and these kids are so unhinged jshsjdikwkk. Also see him being a grandparent makes me so emotional. He was just 18 yesterday wtf??? 😭

The confusion was comforting. He knew life wasn’t easy for the residents of this institute. But there was a small comfort in the fact that Arthur would never have to hide that part of himself. BOY DO I GOT YOU SOME NEWS-

Every part of Lance's chapter killed something in me🙂. This one was a whole other level of weakness. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for this boy. I'll have you know I am obsessed with them. Sibling dynamics just hits different 🥲 and I will make a whole other ask about them just because I can!!

It’s Theia Blackthorn. The Inquisitor’s daughter.” “Jesus Christ,” Lance said. “Raziel wasn’t available?” Say what you will about this asshole, but his humor is top tier!!! Also love how Blackbane form the start are so fucking horny and funny. Like they say the most out of pocket stuff and then cough and stutter JSHSJDJKDKDKD

Joan really be having the worst time here. Being 14 years old, wanting a friend and having a big crush on a straight girl??? Now that is a though life😔. I think her and Kincaid's friendship would fix me tbh... And I just fucking love her, she's so chaotic and gay🥰. All miscommunication aside, they did a fantastic trio

Her group chat with her grandparents 😍😍😍. They are the best!!! Damn, I wish my grandparents would have loved me lmao

“Yeah, because, going to a castle full of women is the right solution for lesbianism,” Mommy giggled. Me, age 13 when I thought going to an all girls school would be a good idea to stop liking girls. PS. I didn't go, but I feel it would have only made me gayer...

the way I read this and already miss LBAF V (like I finished writing it only a month ago lmao) these kids have already grown so much WTF.

Also something I really like about LBAF is that it gives me a lot of space (literally - like room!) to explore so many different types of relationships and dynamics instead of just romantic ones - which has anyone been one of my main interests when writing a story. I love that I can explore sibling relationships - like the dynamic between Lance/Arthur is SOOO different, let's say, what exists between Antoine and his sister or Cami and Arjun and all of them exist in the same story and it's just sooooo fun to play around with that.

PS - I went to an all girls school too (a convent no less) and YEAH IT'S TOUGH IF YOU ARE GAY AHHH.

[kafus]

i have a trio of ingame faves that accidentally developed over time, my dragonite named titan is the oldest pokémon in my modern games. he's from my champion team in fire red, and was the only member of that team that ever got transferred up to gen 4 & beyond before my cartridge got stolen.

this is mr deathy, the giratina i caught in platinum in the middle of class when me & a friend were racing the game. [also that pic was taken with the help of my DS action replay that i use to clone or rename mons before transfer.] i won the race & turned him into my ribbon master. and turned out to be a perfect pick because i hate battle towers & mr deathy couldn't take part in those anyway.

i even have some headcanony "lore" about mr deathy's OT because i had to erase that file instead of diamond due to diamond being tied to pokémon ranch so the Official Mr Deathy Lore is that hayley killed his OT, LMAO

the master rank ribbon is really important because a friend of mine got that for me.

the metagross is the event metagross from ORAS. it upsets me that i can't name event mons, but i call them iridium. i probably used them more than my actual starter throughout the game, and i can always re-see all 3 of their evolutionary stages during the credits segment of my alpha sapphire file. for YEARS all 3 of those pokémon stayed in my party in that game and basically became inseparable. in my headcanon they are best friends.

BUT I'M SORRY FOR THE TEXTWALL AHFSORIOSIGESJFKGJOP

DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR THE TEXT WALL THE MORE DETAILS THE BETTER. i'm obsessed with how all three of these guys are from completely different games and yet are Besties. like most of my pokemon that are my favorites or that i associate with each other come from the same file + i don't do a lot of transferring (except for rms) so the only thing i can think of with me that's similar is my ribbon masters being friends in my head but even then they have like... cliques based on what game they're from i guess. that's very unique and Cool

I'M SORRY ABT UR FIRERED CARTRIDGE OMG all of my original pokemon are gone forever because as a kid i replayed leafgreen over and over to death which means my original save was wiped over many times. by the time diamond and pearl came out and i unlocked pal park i did start transferring pokemon but due to losing my diamond and platinum as a child due to various reasons a lot of those transferred pokemon have been lost regardless. but i have a level 100 charizard from when i did a solo run of leafgreen on a whim when i was like 8 years old or something in my pokemon home and it's cool to have him, i'm pretty sure he's my oldest pokemon :) i'm glad you have an old pokemon from gen 3 too!! even though u could only rescue the one

also mr deathy is a great name and he has a great backstory. that's awesome bdsfjfsdj AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE PICTURE!! i've literally done the same thing with all my rms, they're cloned in their origin gen before transfer, usually with glitches if possible but occasionally with external devices. i even have similar pictures lol

and that's really neat i don't think i've ever used an event pokemon for an actual playthrough... if only iridium was from gen 4, in gen 4 the name rater only checks if the TID matches, not even the SID or name, and also doesn't check the event flag, so you can rng manipulate the same visible TID as the pokemon, trade it to that file, and rename event pokemon that way LOOOL but alas. still though that's awesome they are iridium in our hearts

[ess-presso]

hello ess !

that fic rec sounds wonderful im v excited to read :) my turn: paper rings by apricusapollo (zar just reblogged this rec so maybe u already saw it but it sounds so good) but for good measure heres another: 10 things i (dont) hate about you by kjms (jegulus 10 things i hate about you au)

tay time <3 i almost do, today was a fairytale, & forever & always !

chatty time!

that line about harry becoming RAPIDLY obsessed with draco will never not make me feel insane. how did jkr (derogatory) even write that it sounds like something from a fic fr.

your star converse sound so cool, i think ive seen someone wearing the same ones around and they were so cute. i love them

i love the trojan horse & the story of troy too <3 it was prob one of the first myths i learned and the rest is history. also did u know that some people thought the trojan horse was REAL? like. people in my GREEK MYTHOLOGY course. maybe thts just a common misconception or something but idk. i find it very funny

little women 2019 is SO good. i love the entire cast sm and the vibes are just astronomical.

jumanji is SO fucking funny. ill never not lose my shit at the weapons valet part its just. so dumb i love it

americans being a novelty there is SO funny. youd think that they wouldnt be here in canada but oh. they so are. i think a lot of americans (at least west coast americans where our accents are fairly similar) think canadians are like. identical to them. but that is so wrong we habitually will make fun of anyone with an american license plate up in canada.

my cats! the oldest is named pixie. (she was really tiny when we got her & i was obsessed with fairies when i was younger lol) and ive had her since kindergarten. so like a LONG time. shes a mean old lady now but i love her. the other two are siblings! theyre a few years old but still act like kittens & their names are mike and el (yes after the stranger things characters i dont wanna talk about it) which is very unfitting because the cats are SIBLINGs but the characters are in a relationship. (for the record i suggested artemis and apollo as names but was swiftly shut down. i have a family of haters)

and yes we dont get snow here. at least my part of canada. i live at pretty much sea-level on the coast so its just rain sadly. but pretty much like. every other part of canada will see snow in the winter at some point or another !

and pansy x percy? wait i kinda love that. never wouldve thought of them together but they actually sound cute.

fuck james marry sirius and KILL remus?? honestly respect. (and "mummy's got a job to do" REAL LMAO)

and omg starting with the silmarillion? that is BOLD. i havent even touched that book yet. from what ive gathered via osmosis i think it can almost be read as an encyclopedia for tolkien's world. so its just a lot. godspeed with that!

and yes. the shadowhunters chronicles is based on hp fanfic. BUT i read somewhere it was actually draco x ginny so every day i pray thats true. (hey another rarepair) but fear not the series is actually good. and theres like a million sequel & prequel series within it so you dont really have time to think about the incest .

and yes podg! the movie with ben barnes is a HORRIBLE adaptation. like its so different from the book so beware. but its still mildly entertaining bc ben barnes is gorgeous so.

"drunk procrastinator" being ur movie title is so real. cue me every weekend when i have a big paper to write or something.

and yes! cats! you should get one. they will change your life i swear.

the amortentia trope is SO good. i eat it up every time. same with the veritaserum. bonus points if theyre doing a veritaserum drinking game/truth or dare>>>

thats actually a pretty useful weird talent. running late and need breakfast? cereal.

and yes! thats a gas station order! your best friend being your chauffeur REAL. i dont drive so my best friend is my chauffeur & im the gps & dj.

poppies & lavender are so nice. i have a ton of lavender in my garden and its so nice in the summer when it blooms. hydrangeas are so pretty too. the colours are absolutely gorgeous

pluto! i love pluto sm. one of my fav planets (i refuse to say dwarf planet. shes not a dwarf in my heart shes huge) aside from maybe neptune.

and oh my god. a phone call during a funeral? the ring tone being BABY GOT BACK? idk how you survived. i would have been mortified i could never show my face again.

saxophone is so nice. sometimes all you need is some smooth jazz and a massive glass of wine or something.

answering questions time:

poutine! omg im so glad you asked me this question. in short its just french fries covered in gravy and cheese curds. a lot of people think it sounds gross/think it looks gross (it does look...questionable sometimes) but i SWEAR its so good. very good comfort food & and strangely good when you go to the movies.

unpopular marauders opinion......hmm. maybe that barty would be well suited as a ravenclaw? i know his house has never been confirmed but he canonically got 12 OWLS so the boy is SMART plus he SLAYED being the DADA prof. (not that other houses arent smart. u know what i mean) (but i still love him in the slytherin gang. they have my whole heart)

unpopular opinion about life: its okay to be weird and just silly sometimes. some people are just so caught up in being "normal" that they forget that we're all just. people. like its okay to be silly and live our lives the way we want! (maybe not an unpopular opinion but i know there are people out there that are just. really stuck up & could do well to remember this LOL)

dream car - i dont drive so IDK LOL but ive always liked colourful cars. like give me a bright red or forest green or cobalt blue car. theres a SEVERE lack of colourful cars on the road nowadays its so sad.

i havent seen the apprentice! i dont watch a lot of reality tv in general but from what youve told me about it i might have to check it out cause it sounds entertaining.

i totally believe in soulmates both platonic and romantic. like theres gonna be people you meet in your life that youll click with instantly and theyll become a part of u in a way even if you drift apart etc. like my best friend is prob my platonic soulmate. ive known her for quite literally my entire life (i think i was only a few months old when i met her) and shes literally my sister .

hidden talent: maybe not exactly a hidden talent but im really good at geoguessr ! oh also i can untie almost any knot. i guess thats more of a hidden talent. kinda useless but really handy when my converse laces arent cooperating.💪

favourite villain: prob either loki or darth vader. in a way theyre both anti-heros and i personally love morally grey characters so🫶

ive never had my heart broken! i probably internalized effy's "nobody breaks my heart" from skins too much so. i simply dont let myself get close enough to people so i dont get hurt. works every time👍

ever broken a heart: i think i did indirectly whoops. but luckily only once. long story short one of my friends liked me on & off during high school, i got confrontational while heavily under the influence and told him i didnt like him that way. he DID ignore me for the rest of the year but yeah. the rest is history. i think he came out as gay recently so. good for him!

your question time!

favourite greek god/goddess?

fav marauders fancast(s)?

hogwarts house?

fav greek myth(s)?

soldier, poet, king? (praying youve seen this trend)

one thing you cannot leave the house without?

if you were from the percy jackson universe who would be your godly parent?

top 5 albums of all time?

do you believe in soulmates?

thats all for now. talk to u again very soon🕺

-bee

bee bee bee hello i missed you n i love u <333

on god , i love these type of stories that are partly based on taylor songs . paper rings is one of my favourites on lover , so this is going into my marked for later ! & i love 10 things I hate about you too !!!! (cameron is my favourite character . HE LEARNT FRENCH FOR HER!!!) your fics recs are absolutely stellar!!!

here’s one for you - (‘unbreakable heaven by sequin haze’ - based on ‘Cruel Summer’ , ft friend-with-benefits Jegulus & trans regulus !!! )

tay tay -

i almost do - WOLFSTAR - i think of it as wolfstar because to me it’s basically sirius to remus while he’s in azkaban ‘i bet sometimes you wonder ‘bout me’. And i very much think that remus has dreams about sirius touching his face and asking him to try over again , and remus is 🤏 this close to saying ‘okay’.

today was a fairytale - JILY - i think it’s so inexplicably joly after their first date !!! ‘this magic in the air // must have been the way you kissed me’ that to me is their thoughts in canon, after they kissed for the first time on their date. (also james’s smile would so take lily to another planet , just saying)

forever & always - JEGULUS - I can just imagine james telling reg ‘forever and always’ and then reg being in his head like ‘you promised me forever’ and james going away like a ‘scared little boy’ because reg got the mark. it hurts my poor little jegulus heart.

chatting <333 -

ISN’T IT ??? the woman was so concerned about making her characters at hetero as possible that she just made them gay squared. (and the amount of people i’ve seen asking for the fic when this quote is in a tt. like , babe , no it’s from the og books .)

I LOVE MY STAR CONVERSE TOO !!! very cute indeed they’re amazing . (still my red ones beat everyone and everything >>>)

people think the horse is real ?? like do they really have that little faith in the human race?? in the middle of the war being like ‘wow there’s a giant horse at the door of my city ! this isn’t suspicious at all , let me bring it in !’ is something someone would actually do 💀💀💀. like bro no , give homer his credit.

I LOVE LITTLE WOMEN SM TOO. I watched it for emma , and i came out in love with timmy & flo.

jumanji is honestly such a comfort watch it’s one of my forever favourites.

nah americans are genuinely so annoying sometimes. like especially the piss annoying tourists , always standing in the way. like i’ve heard too many of them correct the way brits pronounce things ( honey , it’s aloominum not aluminium. STFU BITCH) and when they start talking so you talk back and ask where they’re from , why they always say ‘dallas , texas.’ like bro was giving me her gps location , why not just say ‘america’ ??? (the worst one was when i saw someone say that ‘the ancients didn’t build stonehenge aesthetically’)

PIXIE , MIKE AND EL???? THAT’S SO CUTE AND ADORABLE OH MY GOD. (i agree artemis and apollo would’ve been a fucking amazing name.your family just don’t get it.) my friend actually has a cat named pixie who is also a mean old lady!! this pixie fuckin hates me she tried to scratch my guts out once. but i think she’s warming up to me now , because she took 10seconds to do that last time instead of her usual five.

bee u live in the 1% of canada that doesn’t get snow !!! ULTRA-RARE POSITION IN LIFE ACHIEVED !!!

i never would’ve thought of pansy and percy either, but i was scrolling and came across it , and i’m a pretty open-minded girl, so i was like ‘why not’ and i was pleasantly surprised. (here’s the fic i’m talking about - ‘the secretary by pacificrimbaud’ it’s really good !! )

fucking james marrying sirius and killing remus is the most controversial decision i’ve ever made , but i STAND BY IT.

for now i’m just staring at my copy of the silmarillion willing it to become smaller. idk if my brain can handle more than like a page a month.

AT LEAST IT’S NOT RON X GINNY !!!!! maybe i’ll give it a shot one day many years in the future. it seems like there’s at least 50 books and she’s… still not done.

i’ll read the book first , then , as i always do. I’ll watch he movie , but only for ben barnes. I love him.

DRUNK PROCRASTINATOR FOR THE WIN. ( me on the roof rn trying to write my paper that was due last week. and the other one that’s due tomorrow! hopefully lu shows up soon with the monsters and good vibes!! he has no homework (he does his stuff on time) so he’s just gonna be keeping me company.)

CATS CATE CATSSS . studying with one purring in your lap sounds so peaceful !!!

amortentia trope >>>>>>> (i’m actually writing a scene in the quaffle & the snitch , where reg is dared to make james fall in love with him. like a bet movie. i’m loving it already.) I LOVE THEM SO MUCH HONESTLY !!! ‘you love me ?? you’re lying.’ ‘i’m on veritaserum you dumb fuck i’m NOT. lying.’

cereal is my go-to for breakfast, but sometimes i do get apple turnovers on the weekend with my chauffeur. (i’ll be referring to the best friend as either ‘chauffeur’ or ‘lu’ (which is my nickname for him) because typing out ‘my best friend’ is going to take forever.)

thank fuck i got the gas station order right. lu is ordered to be my chauffeur. sometimes we go on midnight grocery runs to the big tesco. (once got drunk and bought the entire stock of lurpak. thankfully there were only four tubs !! (lurpak is rich people butter btw) ) i’m the dj , which is mostly tay tay. he involuntarily knows all the words to shake it off and my tears ricochet now.

YOU HAVE LAVENDERS IN YOUR GARDEN????? THAT’S SO AWESOME ???? they look so nice but i kill a lot of plants. but maybe i’ll buy another bouquet and keep it alive this time??

PLUTO STAYS WINNING. SHE IS A PLANET. NASA DON’T MAKE THE RULES I DO.

(and the baby got back was so embarrassing it’s UNREAL. but it was lu calling to ask if i wanted pizza , so at least i got pizza ?? )

jazz and wine and a best friend to dance around the kitchen with >>>>>> life made .

reviewing your q’s . -

poutine sounds amazing , people are just haters. why do americans hate on poutine when they have ‘jello salad’ like god hates a country but it ain’t canada , sweet pea.

HE WOULD SLAY AS A RAVENCLAW !!!!! and he slayed as a dada professor too !! (but he did traumatise my boy neville so minus one point for that) (he slays as a slytherin too , because i like him to be a part of that friend group , yk?)

YES DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!!! the world would be a better place if people stopped trying to make everything the same !!

when i was younger , i wanted a pink car. now i just want lu to drive me around forever. his car is black , so unfortunately not colourful .(the lack of colour on the streets should be a crime.)

THE APPRENTICE IS SO WORTH IT !!! i love it so much it’s so funny honestly watch it watch it !! New eps every thursday (watch season 17!!)

yes soulmates are platonic and romantic!!! i met lu in primary , and i think i’d just about die if he were to leave me . like he is life i love him , i’d kill for him.

I just searched up what geogueser is , and i’ve found my new hyperfixation !!! will be updating with my skills on this later. (i wish i had your lace-untying skills. 90% of the time i’m in 70 different positions before they’re actually untied.)

‘Luke i am your father.’ that’s all for this one.

love that you’ve never had your heartbroken !!! ( I have , last year. from a girl called victoria , who’s actually kind of a dick now that i think about it. can’t believe i was crying over some random bitch. lu & monster are the only consistent things in my life!!)

nah your friend a piss-bag for being all ‘ooh you don’t like me , WELL I DON’T LIKE YOU.’ that’s rude. if he was a real one , he would’ve stayed. bro came out as gay ?? i’m waiting for his apology 🤨🤨🤨.

my q’s !! -

god - apollo // godess - artemis. i love those two a lot actually. the sun and the moon >>>>>

now , vis a vis fancasts. i love andrew & ben , not dane . i love the edits of atj , he has such a big range of scenes , and i think some of his scenes are very james ! but my default james is this guy - (search up mo malik on tt if you don’t wanna click the link , it’s the pinned video on @motheh0e account with around 8.4 mill views.)

full respect if people don’t imagine him though ! as for reiky, i keep seeing him bent over some ladies knickers , and it makes me laugh a lot . but he could be james too , definitely!! he’s not my default though. My fc for evan is hugh laughton-scott , and for barty it’s maxen danet fauvel. (ik i spelt it wrong , i’m on the roof rn give me a second) & for pandora it’s elle fanning , and for lily , annalise basso. for pete , lewis capaldi is my favourite, his character is what imagine peter to be (if peter was good ). BUT MY FAVOURITE BY FAR IS OF COURSE REGULUS BLACK AS MR TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET!!!! i live for this one. whoever fc’ed him , i wish them only good things in life.

3. GRYFFINDOR !!!!! RAHHHHHHHHHHHH. (my first one was a slytherin but i lied on a tonne of the q’s and got gryffindor on my second account so I’M A GRYFFINDOR .)

4. orpheus and eurydice kills me every fucking time man. like if he’d just waited for one more second. they’d both be alive. but he loved her too much not to look at her. (trojan horse is a close second of course !!)

5. soldier . i see everyone talking about king and poet , but where’s the stuff about the noble soldier ??? (i wanted to be king and the almighty ruler so i’m a bit pissed. might pull a macbeth.)

6.phone . (obviously, but i’ll give you another few because that was too obvious.) purse (i lost it like three times this academic year already) & my bingo tickets from three years ago in which i won a tenner (reminds me of gold times.) also my planning notebook because i get a shit tonne of ideas on a walk. OOOH OOH ALSO MY HEADPHONE . need to bop out to taylor , of course.

7. just did the quiz and got athena ! not bad , if i do say so myself !!

8. folklore , evermore , 1989 , lover & rep. (all taylor but i have other faves. but without these i’d die.)

9.yes , of course !!! i think soulmates are there , very much. for example , lu is very much my soulmate , platonic , and i’d do anything for him. absolutely anything. ANYTHING . (for reference, i’d only ever share my food with him. )

q’s for your next journey to my ask box -

top 5 albums ?

hogwarts house ?

divergent faction ?

favourite fun fact ?

soldier , poet or king ?

gold or silver jewellery?

taylor or lana ?

cruel summer vs don’t blame me.

my tears ricochet vs the great war.

favourite candle scent?

pet peeve ?

what makes you laugh the most ?

do u have a middle name ?

how common is ‘eh’ and ‘hoser’ in canada ?

(that’s all for now bee , but i shall be awaiting your reply like a wife waiting for her soldier husband to return from war. don’t die on the battlefield, bee . come back soon !)

[calyssmarviss]

Okay i got obsessed again with star wars here for a minute, legit started working on tthat one fic again because my vpn was making the episode charge dreadfully slow but now i turned it off and BUCK WHAT ARE YOU DOING I MEAN YEAH I MEAN WHAT THE HELL IS EDDIE DOING THERE I MEAN GO IT FOR KING I MEAN NO YOU DON’T DESERVE IT AFTER THAT CATCH YOU LATER BUCK that was bitchy as fuck wow they’re both jealous and it’s incredible

(Much later: well this has turned into a whole ass shoke full of spoilers reaction post didn’t it)

That’s insane dialogue, what do you mean “jumping ship” and “keeping options fluids”, mhm, boys? Like on a surface level Eddie’s asking if Buck is thinking about a new career option, and the metaphor makes it not even sound that deep, but you know they have some history with the concept of leaving the 118 and it either did not go down at all or didn’t go well. So Buck’s answer is like, probably not the best one to hear if you’re Eddie Diaz, but it’s banter in front of a thir party so even if he’s thinking about that he has to let it fly. Then if you put your buddie goggles on, it can be him asking, are you interested in that guy?

HE’S TAKING UR MAN TO VEGAS of all places

*

That’s not Harry. Aintnoway he went through his whole ass puberty in less than a year!

Look, Bobby can spot the impostor too.

*

Ravi!

OH THIS IS SO HAPPENING

Hey girlies how does it feel to be so right and never lose? Ngl feels so good to me.

He’s so revolted this was the perfect moment to pause at

Oh god the next frame tho.

The rope going down the pipe exept they’re both on top now

Eddie now you’re doing it on purpose. Buck just said “you never have enough friends” and you just… piled on top of it. Like. I get you, i really get you. All’s fair. But that’s Buck and you know he has abandonment issues, man.

OH NO

oH NO

oh Nooo

Oh you didn’t didn’t edmundo diaz

WHY ARE YOU BEING SO MEAN TO HIM LOOK AT HIS FACE

Oh god i stopped to type and didn’t hear the dialogue yet this is insane Eddie you babby trapped him and he was your second choice and it’s your third date with Tommy already. *cough*whore*cough*/affectionate

No fr real Eddie Diaz pettiest bitch in Los Angeles. He’s gonna make Buck come to his senses the haaaaaard way.

Insane shit.

You bet he’s bothered and bewildered.

*

BITCHING TO HIS SISTER he’s so precious (Eddie it’s working)

Revenge of the Sith is the best Star Wars tho Buck, I’m in Tommy and Chris’s camp on this. Guess you’ll have to be the babysitter from now on.

“I didn’t have to (in the bitchiest tone Oliver Stark has ever used). Eddie, on his fridge (!) has a day calendar, under a take out menu: Thursday: BBPU, Double-U, back slash(okay you insane man), Tommy. And it’s circled.”

I’m dying and it’s from pure glee.

“Is it circled with a heart around it?”

*

“We have a problem.”

Yeah, that kid’s not Harry!

Lmao he’s on the run from the cops!

Yeah she can’t recognise her son because that’s not Harry!

Why is the show encouraging me???

Okay, that’s Harry, fine.

*

Oh now who’s inside looking in, looking through the glass closet locker room no less

Wait, isn’t that what leads to those stills i’ve seen of that convo? Are they gonna have a serious talk?

I need all the gifs from that episode.

Making sure he’s in line of sight, uh.

You’re not the one he wants Ravi, sorry.

IS HE FOR REAL

asdfghjkl evan buckley you got it bad

Eddie stop it, you’re not looking but I’m going to have to look at Buck’s face next frame

Bros when no hoes i guess

*

Okay that faceblindness case is genuinely awful

*

Lmao are Eddie and Tommy gonna be there?

Oh yeah, here they are

This is about to get bloody

“So I’m your basketball beard. I feel so bonded.” pffFf

Oh this is both hot and kind of embar at the same time

So, what do you thought of that chest Buck, did it give you insecurities

Ooooouch

You knkw what Eddie, you kind of deserved it FOR ONCE you shouldn’t play with the feelings of a guy that huge

Oh this isn’t good and I’m not talking about Eddie’s foot here

*

“So how’s he feeling?”

“I don’t know.”

That’s what i though you were going to say.

“I felt left out. I was trying to get his attention.” 😭

You know, he’s so valid for that, because Eddie’s attention on him is just… it’s always there, you know? And seeing it being, well, not there, it’s reall day and night. It feels unnatural, which is why i can’t think it’s genuine (but off brand haha). Whether it’s fully intentional on Eddie’s part or not.

*

Where the hell is this going. I mean the one spoiler i saw makes me think Tommy is coming onto Buck, but… look that episode went places that…. Okay I’ll just press play and see!

Buck now you’re the stop stepping a bit too close.

What is this episode guys.

Basically every line is taking me at the knees, this is so awesome.

That’s his flirting smile and i don’t know if i love or hate to see it rn.

They are so petty,

Evan Buckley you liar.

ON MY FUCKING SCREEN

ON MY FUCKING SCREEN

O ye of little faith

911 is delivering

“Please call Eddie.”

And then his face did something complicated idk Buck’s got kissed by a dude and he liked it and we just got delivered an absolute mess of a situation in 42 minutes and i can’t fucking wait to see what’s next oh my god.

[mostlymalena]

Tuesday March 26th 3:26pm

Hello I know I know it's been some time. lots of spelling errors coming your way. I have started carrying around a little notebook so I can write down snippets of things that have happened so I can remember to write about them later. here we go

lets start with Saturday night. The usual group goes out and grace comes since we were close to getting back together (more on that later). We meet up with my good friend Ava at BP. Earlier in the week she posted on her story a picture of me calling me her crush as a joke bc we fuck off a lot and are idiots (love). This bitch Belle who I have hated since the day I fucking met her which was well well over a year ago.

Okay wait context: when me and P were dating his brothers formed a cutie little band and they needed a singer and idk I guess belle was friends with one of them but she joined. She always gave me shady vibes and they were reassured by her being fucking weird with P's brother while she had a boyfriend. Me and P used to talk the biggest shit about her and her behavior so all in all she has always rubbed me the wrong way. Well when she found out P and I had broken up (we were still seeing each other mind you) this bitch went full fucking speed clinging to P's dick. Posting him and asking him to hangout just the two of them, buying him things yada yada. Of course I bitched about it to P and he just amped it up bc it made me jealous.

So I have just icky vibes about her and knew they would hook up once P and I finally stopped talking. What do you know, rumor has it they do and no one is surprised at fucking all. Thank god I'm past the point where that caught me up bc it was sickening to hear about. Now it gives me second hand embarrassment. I feel like the first rule of thumb when you have a rebound is to make sure they are at least even remotely on the same level as your ex.

Anyways Ava posted me and Belle's fucking SISTER slide up going on about how I'm crazy and broke into P's house (no lmao just no) and yada yada. I wanna know if they all have so much to say why do you avoid bluepost so damn much??? yap yap yap on the internet and in my friends dm's and all ups and down town but cannot say shit to my face? Typical.

Can someone please let this 2 by 4 with eyes know that I am not a threat to her relationship with an AI generated line cook with 0 passion or excitement about anything that would extend past algebra and chess. Like please. Im so stupid to think everything was chiller. Legit thought everything was fine I was like like oh we both moving on that chill there is no bad blood lmao. WRONG> WREONG WRONG MALENA.

Also to me there is something about being with a man who is only not still fucking with his ex bc SHE moved on first. That just does not sit right with me. P came back from his trip ready to revamp whatever we had before he left and if I hadn't moved on (thankfully) while he was gone then we would still be swimming in the same circle. Whatever girl he has now or next or whatever he got going on that is not my business has got her work cut out for her. Lord have mercy.

I was really okay about it all but now I just feel like frustrated bc I do not understand why it matters much anymore. Miss me or dont but thats on you. Somedays I'm nostolgic about it somedays im not but im also never afraid to own up to my feelings or behavior. Im confused why men fuck with me and are obsessed with me bc im "different" "weird" "crazy" and "love that you dont act nonchalant" but when they cross me and I still behave that way THEN its a problem?

Mistakes are made when men think they are the exception and they never are nor will be ever again lmao.

I have soccer practice now so I'll have to write more later in the evening.