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sceletaflores · 3 months

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you need a seat? i’ll volunteer!

pairing: tashi duncan x fem!reader

summary: how much of a selfish douche does patrick have to be to not beg tashi to sit on his face every night? you certainly would.

—or: you show tashi what she’s missing out on…

word count: 3.7k

contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, girl kissing, oral (fem!receiving), fingering (fem!receiving) but not really, cheating (i can't stop lmao), patrick catching strays, a hint of "there's only one bed" trope, kinda sad angsty wlw pining, like this got a little depressing at the end lmao, more plot than i thought it would have when i started writing it (i physically can't not write so much plot it's a disease), no use of y/n.

author's note: AHHH HAPPY PRIDE!!! this is purely self indulgent lmao no one asked for this but i just had to write it. this is my first ever wlw fic!!! I know, please stop clapping, it was my duty to post one during pride month. i'm still writing the homoerotic wlw friendship fic, i promise it's coming! i just wrote this one way faster than i thought i would lol okay hope you love it! mwah xoxo

You and Tashi sit across from each other on the bed of some fancy hotel room in Texas the night before a match against UT with a new, exciting charge in the air between you.

Actually, the two of you sit on the only bed in the room after a mix up with the hotel’s booking but “You girls are close, you don’t mind sharing? Right?”

Your coach was right, you don’t mind sharing at all. Not one bit.

You and Tashi were more than close. The two of you have been best friends since middle school, and playing tennis with each other just as long. Whether it was playing side by side or with one of you standing on the opposite end of the court. It was you and her, always.

You realized your feelings for Tashi Duncan were a little more than platonic when you were 15 years old. You were staying the night at her house, laying on her bed with your legs tangled together under the covers watching Mean Girls as Tashi idly braided your hair. It was during the Halloween party scene where Cady catches Regina and Aaron kissing when Tashi spoke up, breaking the comfortable silence between you. “Have you ever kissed a boy like that?”

You just shook your head silently, leaning further into her hands as Cady stormed out of the party on-screen. You didn’t know why she was asking you, you told her everything. If a boy kissed you like that she’d be the first to know. Tashi was silent for a few more seconds, tying off the end of your braid and resting her hands on your shoulders.

“I could show you how,” she had said, “You know, for when guys want to kiss you like that.”

You immediately felt your heart start to race, palms suddenly sweaty. Her suggestion caught you off guard, but you think you heard that girls actually do stuff like that. It’s just practice, it’s not like it’s a big deal. Plus Tashi’s your best friend, you trust her.

You turned up to face her, searching her eyes for any hint of a joke, but you found nothing. Her face was earnest, bottom lip trapped between her teeth as she looked down at you, and her eyes filled with a mix of mischief and something deeper.

“Okay,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Tashi smiled, moving closer until your faces were inches apart. You closed your eyes as your breath mingled with hers, her hand settling softly on your jaw. The first touch of her lips was soft and sweet, sending a shiver down your spine.

You gave in, parting your lips to let her tongue brush against yours. You felt something deep inside of you slot into place, like a missing puzzle piece finding its home. You got lost in the moment, mind going blank and fuzzy as your tongues explored each other's mouths. The thought of kissing boys suddenly felt unimportant and distant with Tashi’s lips moving against yours.

All too soon she was pulling back, her face soft and flushed. “See? Not so scary,” she said with a smile, you swore you could hear a slight tremor in her voice. She brushed her thumb across your cheek once before she laid back against the headboard and cast her gaze to the movie still playing.

“Yeah…” you trailed off, leaning against her to watch Regina get hit by the bus. Your mind was still buzzing, the feel and taste of Tashi lingering on your lips.

That kiss changed everything for you, but the two of you never talked about it again. Tashi woke up the next morning as if nothing had changed, smiling at you over breakfast talking a thousand miles a minute about the new tennis club in town. It’s been years since then, years of pretending like you’re not really in love with Tashi Duncan, that it was just a phase. You just adore her so much, a totally normal platonic best friend kind of adoration, that’s all.

It’s well past the time you and Tashi should have been asleep by now, pre-match jitters and excitement keeping the two of you up late. You’d been talking for hours already, and somehow the topic has shifted into raunchier territory. Maybe later you’ll blame the pent-up energy for blurring your filter, but for now you were content swapping recaps of the latest hookups you’ve shared with Art for her stories with Patrick.

The addition of Art and Patrick was definitely a new development in your relationship with Tashi. Two boys who thought they were being discreet following the two of you around the Adidas party all those months ago, taking turns chatting you up on the beach and inviting you back to their hotel room.

Then college started, and Patrick and Tashi were suddenly dating, and things sort of changed. Tashi was spending more time with him, leaving you alone to stew in your anger of feeling like the next best thing. Well not completely alone, Art was always there. In a similar situation as you, with Tashi taking up all of Patricks time when he’d visit campus. Leaving the two of you to sit in Art’s dorm sharing a handle of cheap vodka every time you got kicked out of your room so Tashi and Patrick could have some “alone time”.

Art’s hot, and he seemed to like you so it felt easy enough for the two of you to pair off like Tashi and Patrick did. You wouldn’t call it dating, friends with benefits fit better, but he was a nice distraction from the new Tashi shaped hole in your life, so you indulged. Tashi was overjoyed when she found out, so happy for you in every sense of the word. Constantly badgering you for details, like she was just before your conversation took a complete one-eighty.

“No way Patrick hasn’t asked you to do that before,” you ask a little too loudly, beyond shocked as you stare at Tashi sitting across from you on the mattress.

She scoffs quietly, shaking her head as she picks at a loose thread sticking out of the comforter. “It’s kinda been all about him lately,” she trails off with a shrug, like that’s a good reason.

Fucking Patrick. You think bitterly, fighting the urge to roll your eyes. What a fucking loser.

You knew he wasn’t good enough for Tashi the second you met him. All flashy bravado and superficial charm, like a peacock strutting around with no substance. Tashi seems to like him enough so you bite your tongue at every dreadful detail she’s told you about their relationship, because you’re such a good friend.

Seriously though, how much of a selfish douchebag does Patrick have to be not to beg Tashi to sit on his face every night?

You certainly would.

“Art and you do that a lot?” she asks nonchalantly, but her eyes have a certain look to them. One you can’t quite place, they’re sharper than they were before. Maybe even a tiny bit challenging, as if she’s daring you to go there. You were never one to back down from a dare, especially in front of Tashi.

You nod slowly, fingers toying with the edge of your shorts. “A couple times.”

“How’s it feel.” She makes it sound like a question, you know her well enough to recognize that it’s more like a thinly veiled demand. Her voice is barely above a whisper but she may as well have shouted at the top of her lungs with the way it cuts through the space between you so sharply.

You see flashes of Art red-faced and needy as you knelt on top of him with your knees on either side of his head, of him spilling inside his boxers as you rode his face, using his tongue to get yourself off.

It has warmth pooling in the bottom of your stomach, thighs subconsciously clenching together. You imagine yourself in Art’s place, laying flat on your back as Tashi kneels above you, chasing after the taste of her with your tongue.

“So good…” You whisper back, voice breathy like you just got done training. You can feel Tashi’s eyes on you, intense and persistent.

You meet her gaze, her familiar brown eyes dark and blown out in a way you’ve never seen before. She looks flushed, her cheeks tinged with the slightest hint of red. Her lips part ever so slightly, revealing a glimpse of teeth as she bites down on her full lower lip, a tiny gesture that sends a zing up your spine. It's like the room's temperature just shot up by ten degrees, creating a kind of heat that makes you feel light-headed.

Tashi’s stare is unwavering, it makes your skin crawl in the best way possible. She looks hungry, you feel a pang of unfiltered need shake your body like thunder. You’ve never felt deja vu before, but you’re guessing it feels something like this.

The offer slips past your lips before you can think of stopping it, “I mean…I could– I could like show you. If you want.”

For a second, there’s silence. All you can hear is the sounds of the city three floors below you flowing in through the window. The distant hum of traffic and faint chatter blend into a muted sound that underscores the tense quiet in your room. You hold your breath, forcing yourself to meet Tashi’s gaze. Every second that passes feels like an eternity, you’re inches away pretending it was a joke, from running away with your tail between your legs.

Then, Tashi’s eyes narrow slightly, her lips curling into a sly smile. She leans closer, bridging the small gap between the two of you, the mattress shifts under her weight. “Show me,” she murmurs, her voice an assertive whisper. The intensity in her eyes deepens, locking you in place.

Your heart pounds in your chest, each beat echoing in your ears louder than the city noise outside. It wasn’t really a joke when you offered, but you never thought Tashi would actually call your bluff. You thought she’d just laugh, roll her eyes and call you gross with a smile on her face. You swallow hard, a mix of excitement and nerves churning in your stomach.

Tashi’s hand moves to your chin, gently bringing you closer to her. The electricity between you is palpable, a charged connection that sparks and crackles. Her thumb brushes across your lower lip, and you feel yourself leaning into her touch, your body responding before your mind can catch up.

“Show me,” she repeats, her voice firmer now, a command wrapped in velvet. Her words hang in the air, thick with anticipation and promise. You nod, a small, almost unnoticeable movement.

“We- Art and I - we…uh, usually kiss before,” you try to sound casual. Tashi’s eyes soften, a hint of a smile playing at the corner of her mouth.

“Then kiss me,” she says. You can feel her breath on your skin, warm and inviting. You lift your hand, reaching out slowly. Your fingers brush against the bare skin of her arm, you’ve touched her millions of times before, but this one is different. It’s a hesitant touch that feels both daring and delicate. She doesn't tense or pull away; instead, she leans into your touch, her eyes never leaving yours.

Your throat feels dry, your mind racing, but you push through, your hand glides up her arm, tracing a path to her shoulder. Her skin is smooth, warm under your touch, and you can feel the slight tremor that betrays the relaxed front she’s putting on.

With every inch you cover, you feel more confident, your movements becoming more assured. You lean in, close enough that you can see the slight rise and fall of her chest, hear the faint hitch in her breath.

It’s been years, but you swear her lips feel the same. It’s far from the slow, sweet, timid kiss you shared on her bed. The moment they touch yours, it’s like a jolt of electricity runs through your veins, reigniting a fire deep within you that never truly died. Tashi’s lips are soft, yet demanding, moving with a hunger that mirrors your own. You can taste the faint hint of her coconut lip balm and something that’s uniquely Tashi, a flavor you had almost forgotten but that comes rushing back with each second that passes. You lose yourself in the rhythm, the pressure, the way her tongue teases yours, exploring, claiming.

If you weren’t so fucking turned on, so fucking wet that you’re drenching your panties, you’d probably laugh. You’d laugh at how easily you ended up back here, kissing Tashi just because she asked you too. You wonder if she’s thinking about that night too, if she ever thinks about it.

Your hands find her waist, pulling her closer as the kiss deepens, becoming more urgent, more needy. Without thinking, you drag Tashi onto your lap, her chest pressing flush against yours as her knees fall on either side of your torso. She responds quickly, her fingers tangling in your hair, grip tight enough to have you softly moaning into the kiss.

It’s messy, wet, and consuming, with spit mingling as your mouths fight for dominance. Tashi still refusing to let go of the upper-hand even though you’re technically supposed to be the one showing her something, but you don’t mind. She bites your lower lip, hard enough to make you groan, sending a shock-wave of heat straight to your core. Her nails scratch against your scalp, pulling you impossibly closer. The air is thick with the sounds of your ragged breathing and the soft, breathy moans escaping your throats.

When you finally pull apart, both of you are breathless, your foreheads resting against each other, a small thread of saliva connects your lips before it falls and breaks.

“Show me,” she whispers again, this time softer, almost a plea. And with a newfound confidence, you nod, ready to give her whatever she asks for.

“Off,” you say impatiently, tugging at the waistband of her shorts. Tashi’s eyes darken, her breaths coming in shallow, rapid gasps as she quickly complies, shimmying out of her shorts and tossing them aside. You waste no time, falling on your back so fast your body bounces on the mattress. You can hear the bed creaking as Tashi crawls towards you again, you can feel the warmth of her as she throws a leg over your hips and starts to make her way up your body. She pauses at your chest, hesitating. She looks down at you, her eyes more unsure and vulnerable than you’ve seen in a long time. You just smile softly, giving her a small nod and bringing your hands up to squeeze her thighs reassuringly. Her body is warm and firm beneath your palms.

“Tash,” you whisper, thumbs rubbing soothing circles against her skin. “It’s just me.”

Her eyes search yours for a second longer, the tension melts from her face, and she smiles. A real smile, not the fake one she gives pushy interviewers, one that reaches her eyes. Her vulnerability bleeds into tender determination as she gives you one sharp nod of her head and shuffles the rest of the way up your body.

With a sense of urgency, your fingers hook around the edge of her panties. Tashi’s trembling, her fingers digging into your shoulders, hips lifting slightly to aid you slide her panties to the side.

Being face to face with Tashi Duncan’s cunt feels euphoric. It feels right, like this is where you should have been all along. She’s so wet for you and so beautiful and so perfect and you can hardly wait to taste her.

You lean in, trailing soft, deliberate kisses along her inner thigh, feeling her shiver beneath your touch. Tashi’s breath hitches, a soft moan escaping her lips as you get closer to her core. Her eyes never leave yours, her pupils completely blown out and swallowing up the warm brown.

“Please,” she breathes, her voice strained with longing. The plea sends a thrill through you, has you feeling power drunk because the great Tashi Duncan is begging you. Begging you to touch her, begging you to make her feel good, begging you to make her come.

You lean your head up, you can feel her body tremble as your breath brushes against her. Your lips part, placing a soft kiss directly over her clit, making her squirm and moan softly above you. You flick your tongue out, teasing her, drawing more desperate sounds from her lips.

The taste of her is intoxicating, flooding your senses and making you crave even more. She tastes like girl sweat, like girl sex, you moan into it, gripping her thighs hard to try in vain to steady yourself.

Tashi’s eyes flutter shut, her head falling back as your tongue slides through the wet slit of her cunt. Her response is immediate, lowering herself down against your tongue as a low moan escapes her lips. Tashi's hips start to move, instinctively seeking more, needing more.

You watch her through half-lidded eyes, mesmerized by the sight of her losing herself in the pleasure you're giving her. Her hands tangle in your hair again, guiding you, urging you on as you work your tongue along her slick entrance. The rhythm of her hips matches the movement of your mouth, and you can feel her growing wetter, absolutely drenching the bottom half of your face.

“Fuck, that’s so good,” she mutters, pretty face pinched in pleasure. You moan into her cunt, angling your head up to drag your tongue up her slit slowly until you reach her clit, sucking it into your mouth and swirling your tongue over it.

“Oh my God,” Tashi huffed. She opened her eyes and looked down between her legs, catching your glassy eyes with her own. The sight only made her grind her hips faster, “You’re so pretty,” She muttered. Your loud moan is muffled by her cunt, heart fluttering in your chest at her words. You can feel your hands start shaking with the intensity of the moment, way more intimate than it probably should be.

Her right hand lets go of your hair, shooting out to lace her fingers with yours. She squeezes your hand hard, gripping onto it like a lifeline as she rides your tongue. You respond in kind, using your free hand to guide her, to hold her steady as you delve deeper into her cunt, your nose bumping up against her clit. Her taste, her reactions, everything about her is perfect, and you can feel her body tightening, her muscles clenching as she gets closer and closer to the edge.

Her other hand tightened its grip on your hair, pulling you closer as she threw her head back, a low, throaty moan escaping her lips. “Don’t stop,” she gasps, her voice breaking, “I’m close.”

You increase your pace, tongue working even faster over her clenching cunt. You lose yourself in her, in the rhythm of her movements, in the sounds of her moans and gasps. You need her to come, you need to see, need to feel it, need to hear it, need to fucking taste it.

And she does, her body tensing, then shaking as she cries out your name, the sound filling the room. You hold her through it, your tongue moving in gentle, soothing strokes as she rides out her orgasm, her body slowly relaxing under your touch. You keep going, tongue greedily soaking up everything she has to give you until she’s spent, her body going limp, her breath coming out in ragged, uneven gasps.

Tashi leans back, blindly shoving her free hand down your shorts to delve between your slick thighs. Your hand grips hers harder, moaning out as her fingertips brush over your throbbing clit. Your eyes open to find Tashi already staring down at you between her thighs, the fancy hotel lights making a halo of light around her messy hair. She looks fucking ethereal.

You’re so worked up it only takes a few clumsy circles of Tashi’s fingers to push you over the edge. Back arching off the bed as you come, hips bucking up into her touch. Waves of pleasure crash through you as you soak your panties in your release as Tashi watches with sharp eyes. She keeps going, fingertips sliding over you with featherlight touches until you’re squirming away, thighs instinctively clenching shut.

Tashi falls back onto the bed next to you, the two of you laying beside each other trying to catch your breath. The room is filled with the soft sound of your synced heavy breathing, you can feel her hair tickling your neck from where it splayed out on the pillows.

“Patrick’s coming to the UT game tomorrow,” her voice breaks the silence, voice raspy and winded, “Art will probably be with him.”

Her impassive tone feels like a bucket of ice water dumped over your head. You look at her, but Tashi keeps her gaze trained on the ceiling, her chest rising and falling quickly. She’s sweaty, baby hairs sticking to her forehead, her face is stony. She closes her eyes, it feels like a door slamming in your face. Your heart sinks in your chest, dread starting to wrap its tendrils around you.

Patrick and Art. Their names hang in the air like a storm cloud threatening to burst, casting a shadow over the fragile intimacy of the moment. You swallow hard, trying to muster a response, but words elude you in the suffocating silence. Tashi speaks again before you can, “We should all go out to dinner after, like on a double date or something.”

You trace the outline of her profile with your eyes, the curve of her jawline, the faint sheen of sweat on her skin. Each detail seems sharper, more defined, as if etching itself into your memory with painful clarity all over again. You have to close your eyes too, scared if you keep them open that the tears burning your waterline will start flowing down your cheeks. All you can do is lie there, next to Tashi, and feel the weight of her words settle into the space between you, putting up a barrier you're not sure how to breach.

“Yeah…sounds good.”

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taegimood · 2 months

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ummm woah what’s that! points in the opposite direction as i scramble behind my open for business sign as if i didn’t disappear without a trace for months and have totally been here the whole time oh guess it was nothing anyway hi guys

i wouldn’t be me without eternal soobin brainrot so naturally i’ve emerged to throw this old now-finished draft at you for my first post back 🫡

so the best friends to fwb to lovers pipeline is my mf roman empire i’m so serious. like bestfriend!soobin always sitting next to you with his hand casually resting on your leg at all times, not even in a suggestive way, he just gravitates towards touching you 🥺 his safe place !! imagining his huge self slumped practically in half to rest his head on your shoulder, or him just mindlessly playing with your little fingers in his big hands glitches as he sits observing the room w that soft pout and big boba eyes combo yeah you know the one- clutches chest

so then later turned fwb!soobin who’s so used to showering w his friends iykyk lmao that now that he’s fucking you, in his mind you’ve crossed over that threshold of friendship where he expects to be able to join you for your showers even when it’s nothing sexual.. is genuinely confused if you tell him no 😭

“soobin i just need some me-time”

“….you can’t have your me-time with me?” *displeased pout*

like a needy puppy fr

but like you guys having such an interesting dynamic cuz you’re just still straight-up best friends (who are actually in love with each other but neither of you realize that even tho everyone else does cue yeonjun rolling his eyes into the camera like the office) so even tho the boys are all waiting for you both to wake up from your one joint braincell’s loop of stupidity and realize the truth, (beomgyu’s words), no one actually suspects that you’re out here skipping steps and FUCKING each other, because you guys just act so normal and chill together otherwise — the same way you’ve always been.

until later when the feelings start coming to the surface and you suddenly don’t know how to act around each other but that’s a whole other can of worms 🫡

so, when you’ve joined them for a short weekend schedule in japan, no one questions it when soobin meanders over to your hotel room after everyone is all settled in and getting ready for bed. eh, he’s just gonna go veg out there for a bit cuz he’s bored while she rambles about random stuff. classic soobin and y/n. they are wrong

you had just settled into bed when soobin slips into your room with the spare key card you had tucked into his pocket earlier, and you’re shuffling around and getting comfy when you hear the door open and close. you two hadn’t made a plan to mess around tonight, but you aren’t surprised, as it isn’t unusual for soobin to still seek you out for cuddles while he talks about his day.

you don’t even have to say anything as he slides into bed behind you, instantly wrapping an arm around your waist and nuzzling his face into the nape of your neck with a sigh.

“needed a break from beomgyu’s pororo impressions,” he mumbles, and you snort at the thought. “how does he still have so much energy right now…?” you murmur back, sleep lacing the edges of your voice.

“i still think i’m right about him being an animatronic bot who reaches peak terror at night.”

the two of you giggle at soobin’s joke before falling into a comfortable silence, broken intermittently by comments about your day, about their schedule tomorrow, about the anime-themed shopping center you guys plan to sneak off to with kai afterwards.

with another sigh from soobin, this one more of contentment than exhaustion, he’s soon nestling further into you, your eyes slipping shut in sleepy bliss at the warmth of his body pressed to yours.

that is, until you begin to feel small kisses being placed softly along your shoulder.

“soobin,” you warn half-heartedly.

“‘m not doing anything,” he complains back quietly in an equally half-hearted mumble, as he continues clearly doing something.

you’re so tired, but you can’t deny the tingles that run through your body whenever soobin touches you, and tonight is no exception as you wordlessly turn your head to look over your shoulder at him, his features coming into focus in the near-darkness of the room as he pauses to gaze at you in turn.

his blonde hair all tousled from the pillows, the sharp line of his jaw, his soft shining eyes — and his lips that you can never seem to resist for very long.

case in point. it’s only a few passing moments before those lips are on yours in a deep kiss, languid and slow, his hand gently holding your chin that’s still angled back towards him, your own hand reaching behind to caress the back of his neck — and then he’s shifting backwards to turn you over fully, your back now against the sheets as he positions himself half over you, his tongue moving lazily with yours, warm and wet and tasting of him as he comfortably rests his weight on you.

you make out like that for a while, his wandering right hand leisurely squeezing and kneading your tits beneath your shirt, his lips occasionally finding themselves trailing down your neck, but always coming back up to find yours.

i can picture how needy he’d start to get, subtle at first in the way he’d shift his hips, in the way his breath would quicken — and then it would be obvious from the moans that escape him as his kisses grow heavier, more insistent.

“need you..” he’d groan breathlessly through his kisses, attempting to shove his sweatpants down with his free hand as his lips stay latched onto yours, too desperate and impatient to sit up properly and use both hands.

“someone might come looking for you,” but you’re tugging his pants and boxers down his hips for him anyway and his lips are on your neck as he pushes your panties aside.

“let them look.”

soobin wasting no time rocking into you with deep, needy strokes, his face buried in your neck while your arms wrap around his shoulders, clutching onto him as his hips press you further into the mattress the more desperate he gets.

his hands are all over you, squeezing and caressing anywhere they can touch, and closer just isn’t enough as he holds you against him with breathy moans and grinding hips until you’re both cumming, his stuttered groan the giveaway before his final thrust is filling you up and your own climax washes over you like a wave. you can feel each other’s hearts beating as he stays there rested on top of your chest.

your best friend eventually lifting himself to hover over you in the dark, his warm breath fanning over your lips as you push the damp hair from his forehead, hand sliding down to caress his cheek, his jaw, thumb ghosting across his parted lips as he twitches inside of you — you bite back a smile.

this time, when he kisses you.. you don’t know it yet, but this time, it’s different.

soobin isn’t exactly sure why he can feel heat rising to his cheeks or a little somersault in his chest, but he’s glad that it’s too dark for you to notice the redness in his face when he asks,

“can i stay here tonight?”

#mj’s hard thoughts #txt #txt x reader #txt hard thoughts #txt smut #txt thoughts #soobin #soobin x reader #soobin hard thoughts #soobin smut #soobin thoughts #taegimood

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cloudcountry · 4 months

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sneaking riddle out to a summer carnival!!!

SUMMARY: you take riddle to his first carnival!

COMMENTS: takes place post-overblot. honestly this can be read as heavy pining or established relationship LMAO also riddle wears heels outside of his housewarden's uniform shut UP

please be nice to me i am rusty i fear

TAGLIST: i'm going to be doing this again so let me know if you'd like to be tagged in stuff!!

Riddle’s first instinct is to turn right on his heel and walk out of there, and if it wasn’t for your hopeful smile and bright eyes he probably would have. The bright flashing lights, the screaming, and oh Great Seven, the food were all things his mother would have screamed at him for participating in. He supposes that's why you brought him here.

Just the two of you. No Ace, no Deuce, not even Grim is here with you.

The smell of grease and sugar is in the air as your fingers intertwine with his. The action catches him off guard, and you use it to your advantage and drag him deeper into the carnival. He vaguely hears you ask for tickets, making small talk with the vendor as they exchange a handful of tickets for your thaumarks.

(Letting someone else pay for his activities would also be something his mother would yell at him for, he thinks. He’s too busy trying to figure out how safe the ferris wheel is to examine the thought further.)

He’s glad Grim isn’t here. The thought makes his mouth twist in displeasure at how immature he’s being, but deep down he knows the direbeast would be hogging all of your attention. It’s easy to dispel the thought when you grab his hand and lead him into the chaos that is the carnival.

“Which ride do you want to start first?” you ask, a bounce in your step as you turn back and smile at him.

Riddle eyes each one warily. They all look rather horrifying, and if he’s honest with you he’d say he doesn't want to ride any of them.

His eyes catch on the drop tower, and it’s at that moment that the tower drops, and Riddle watches with wide eyes as the people on the ride plunge to the bottom, screaming like they're going to be killed.

“It’s for fun! Adrenaline, you know?” you say hastily.

He’s certain he’s gaping at the ride like he’s seen a ghost.

“We could try some games...?”

Riddle takes a moment to compose himself, shaking himself out of his stupor. He’s never been so out of his element, but he knows for sure you’d never lead him astray. You never have.

“Which one is your favorite?” he asks, watching your face relax.

“I think we should start with the ferris wheel.” you smile softly, and he can't tell if you're dodging the question or if that is your favorite ride, “But you don’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s a good ride to start with when you’re nervous.”

He wants to thank you, but the words get stuck in his throat. He lets you chatter about each game and each ride as you pass them, the ground beneath you uneven and bumpy. Riddle is glad you told him to dress comfortably—as ridiculous as it would have been to wear a pair of his heels for a carnival, he’s struggling even in his dress shoes.

You should always look presentable. There is no use complaining.

He feels you squeeze his hand again. You’ve found yourselves in front of the ferris wheel, with the queue shorter than he imagined it’d be. He looks over to you with a question in his eyes, and you giggle.

“Sage Island isn’t that crowded around here, you know? It’s already pretty isolated from everywhere else.” you say, “Don’t worry about it, just let me take the reigns today, okay?”

You bump your hip against his playfully as the line starts to move, and Riddle stumbles after you as you squeeze into a cart. You bounce in your seat as the attendant shuts the door and sends you up into the sky.

Riddle has seen the movies, the cheesy ones were the cart was a little bit bigger and the view was a little bit brighter, but he never understood the appeal of sitting there and watching rides move with someone else.

Now he gets it.

Your hand is still touching his, and he swears if he focuses hard enough he can feel your pulse against the heel of his palm. Riddle spares a glance at you, only to find you looking at him with a hopeful smile.

“Isn’t it nice?” you ask, voice soft and sweet and kind.

“Yes.” he nods, choking on his words as the scent of your shampoo wafts towards him.

You’re both so close.

The ferris wheel starts moving again, and Riddle feels a stab of disappointment in his chest. You laugh at his pout, bumping shoulders with him.

“Don’t worry, we get to go again!” you say, and he perks right back up.

He loves the ferris wheel. He wants to go on it again sometime, if you’d let him.

It seems like only a few minutes before you’re off of the ride and you’re pulling him over to all the food stalls, The smile on your face is infectious as you rattle off the different types of carnival food, talking about the strawberry variants of each one. It fills his chest with butterflies to see you so attentive—truly, he feels spoiled when you buy him a strawberry funnel cake and a caramel apple and even strawberry flavored shaved ice. In return, Riddle insists he pay for your food, and you laugh before accepting.

“I just wanted to treat you.” you confess, sipping on the drink your ordered, “You worked so hard during exams and even worked with others to make sure they were doing okay. Deuce did really well because you inspired him to work hard. You’re amazing—and you deserve a day off every now and then.”

It takes him off guard, just how candid you can be, especially with someone like him. Maybe it’s because you’ve seen him at his most vulnerable, you’ve seen parts of his past only Trey knows, you took the time to get closer to him when everyone else kept their distance, He knows now that that distance was his own fault, which is yet another thing you helped him realize, and—

You’re still doing more for him, over and over again. It’s like a debt he’ll never be able to pay back.

So instead, he reaches over and grabs your hand, the pads of his fingertips pressing into your palm.

You look over at him.

“Hm?”

His heart feels like it’s caught in his throat, but he forces the words out.

“Thank you for today.”

The smile that stretches across your face is the widest one yet. It’s triumphant, like his smile was the prize for winning a game you’d been playing for far too long.

“Of course, Riddle.” you scoot closer, “It’s no problem at all. I hope you’ll do this with me again sometime.”

He will. In a heartbeat, he will.

#Hi. I'm rusty. Please be nice to me.#auburn's fics <3 #twst #twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #disney twst #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader #twst riddle #twst riddle x reader #riddle rosehearts fluff

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sylusjinwoon · 4 months

Note

This is such a random question but have you ever written a story where the reader goes with jinwoo to the international guild conference(I think thats what its called)

Im not asking you to write it, you’ve already written so much. Its just that you have so many works I struggle to find a specific one

Byeeeeeee! Have a good day/sweet dreams

hey sweetheart! and no, i don’t believe i wrote a story where the reader attends a conference with jinwoo. however, i can help you find a specific jinwoo story that i have personally written to suit your needs! so i have made a summary of every single jinwoo story i have written under the cut with their links ♡ !

1. { sparkle } - first jinwoo story i have ever written told in jinwoo’s POV where he realizes he’s in love with reader

2. { 3RR0R } - where the system shows jinwoo that his soulmate is not cha hae-in

3. { pillowtalk } - reader speaks to jinwoo about her love for him while he sleeps.

4. { season’s call } - reader is constantly under protection from jinwoo’s shadow soldiers.

5. { hold me like a grudge } - investigator!jinwoo protects the reader while hiding a secret from her.

6. { surround you } - jinwoo is away on a business trip, leaving reader alone as she muses on how much she misses him.

7. { like you do } - reader is a young woman living in the real world who gets the chance to live out her dreams of being with jinwoo in his world.

8. { butterfly kisses } - reader comforts jinwoo during a bad day.

9. { love letter of flowers } - florist! reader and s-rank hunter! jinwoo fall in love 💐

10. { slow dancing in the dark } - reader sees jinwoo dancing with hae-in and feels envious.

11. { boyfriend headcanons } - general fluff headcanons

12. { arise } - reader is resurrected as one of jinwoo’s shadow soldiers due to a tragic event.

13. { rose-colored boy } - jinwoo takes care of a sick and feverish reader.

14. { sands of time } - academy arc; reader can’t stand jinwoo and lowkey hates him… or does she?

15. { light in the darkness } - antares!jinwoo basks in the reader’s softness.

16. { tiptoe } - reader is kept hostage as potential leverage, but it fails when jinwoo brutally attacks her captors to teach them a lesson.

17. { snooze } - reader loves to humble jinwoo by calling him dorky nicknames.

18. { enough is enough } - reader and jinwoo get into an argument.

19. { motherland } - jinwoo comforts reader after her failures.

20. { love me for me } - reader can’t stand being second best to her sister, hae-in.

21. { follow you } - reader becomes anxious at work due to a persistent co worker who can’t leave her alone…

22. { house of gold } - jinwoo fumbles his proposal LMAO

23. { headfirst for halos } - first yandere jinwoo fic.

24. { penpal } - academy arc; jinwoo wishes to get closer to his beloved reader.

25. { proud to be yours } - jinwoo makes a huge announcement during a press conference.

26. { the dark knight } - reader is a capable hunter who can’t stand it when jinwoo purposely prevents her from attending raids.

27. { musings for yandere jinwoo } - more yandere stuff

28. { moonlight } - jinwoo becomes captivated by reader when she calls him a strangely unique nickname.

29. { anomaly } - reader gets isekai’d into the world of solo leveling.

30. { of gifts and curses } - jinwoo muses how his strength and power are for the sake of protecting his beloved…

31. { reader inserts } - reader gets emotionally scarred after reading a painful reader insert.

32. { too sweet } - jinwoo falls in love with a reader who is the embodiment of sunshine.

33. { peaches } - a love story between jinwoo and the reader whom he has always loved.

34. { the only exception } - yandere jinwoo who falls head over heels for reader at first sight, willing to do anything to keep her by his side.

35. { selfish } - jinwoo being a jealous bby 🥰

36. { belong to you } - 100% jinwoo spice / thirst post

37. { touch starved } - jinwoo tries to woo (lmao) the reader and win her heart ♡

38. { cry for me } - another thirst post based on an ask ♡

39. { lover is a day } - comfort fic for jinwoo

40. { heartbreak feels so good } - reader is embarrassed with having a one night stand with jinwoo and wishes to forget. unfortunately for her, jinwoo wants nothing more than to remember and finally claim reader as his.

41. { marked by you } - more thirst posts for jinwoo

42. { the prince and the pauper } - historical romance / fairytale au with prince jinwoo sung and a commoner reader

43. { darling } - a yandere story with a twist. yandere jinwoo and yandere hae-in are deeply in love with the reader and would kill each other just to have you all to themselves…

44. { company } - lmaoo reader keeps friendzoning jinwoo, and he hates it.

45. { autobiography } - reader is an author that wants to write jinwoo's biography; what more can i say? 🥰

46. { perfect } - 18+ only, another thirst post for jinwoo

47. { saturn } - will jinwoo learn to love the reader’s true self hidden beneath a cheerful façade?

48. { slow it down } - boy next door jinwoo! what more can i say 🤭🥰

49. { that green gentleman (things have changed) } - single dad! jinwoo x daycare worker! reader

50. { god is a woman } - 18+ thirst post / drabble

51. { the admirer } - jinwoo loves to annoy the reader to capture her attention

52. { not a want but a need } - 18+ thirst drabble

53. { marry me } - the title says it all, really 🤭

54. { your heart belongs to me } - another 18+ thirst post

55. { the haunted one } - academy arc story where reader can see jinwoo’s shadow soldiers and becomes terrified of him.

56. { me + you } - another cute academy arc story where reader is struggling with math and jinwoo tutors her

57. { of painful auras and cute boys } - university au; reader has a migraine and needs to be saved;;; but by who ;3c

#.conversations with you.#.lovely anonymous

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haveateadude · 4 months

Text

bleak horizons ii.

summary *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ christmas and hot chocolate

warnings *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ depression, family issues, and i think that's it?? it's mostly fluff??

author notes *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ why is it christmas you might be wondering... well i don't fucking know okay??😭😭wrote this when i was in another country and it was cold and it reminded me of christmas so i wrote this. anyway. this one is boring as FUCK... just saying. i'm embarrassed about posting this actually. also, i accidentally put this on chat gpt and it gave me more than 10 things i had to fix so. don't get your hopes up LMAO

hope y'all have a great day, night, morning or whatever. take care of yourselves!!!!!!! if u don't you're an asshole.

AND THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT ON MY LAST POST!!!!!!!!! i love everyone who liked it :)) even just knowing people have read it makes my heart warm. i really thought it would get cero recognition, y'all are amazing <3

(readers mental health gets addressed in the next chapter btw)

(not proofread either, sorry if there's any mistake)

pt1 — pt2 — pt3

i don't wanna talk about anything

i wanna kiss, kiss your eyes again

wanna witness your eyes looking

For Christmas, I go to Ellie's house, and I lie to my mother about having too much work. She says it's fine, which weirds me out. I never thought she would say yes. I’m excited and happy to go to Ellie’s house, anyway. This is important, I feel—meeting her family, I mean. She never speaks much about them, but I know she's adopted, and that she gets along with them. She also never met her mother. She says she had her aunt to teach her all that Joel couldn't, like what periods were, how to wash her clothes, and how to paint her nails with her left hand.

I think a part of me is afraid to go because I'm afraid I'll get attached. My mother never taught me what periods were and my father never seemed to know what empathy was. Her family sounds like a dream to me.

"We’re here," Ellie says with a smile on her face as she pulls up on the side of the road next to a white house. It’s got a green lawn, it looks nicely cared for, and a white picket fence. I take a deep breath, I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I think Ellie senses that. She puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes it, which feels comforting. "Hey, just know my dad is really fucking chill. It’s just going to be us, and my uncle's family. They’re going to love you, I promise."

"Okay," I nod because I know it and that's what I'm afraid of. I look outside the window. It’s Christmas Eve. It's already snowing. I then stare at Ellie's eyes and smile. I kiss her and when I pull apart I speak. "I don't want to go out, it's cold."

"C’mon, let’s go inside then. I don’t want you to freeze in this car."

I nod and fix my hair in the mirror before I go out. The cold makes me unable to feel my face or my hands, so when I go inside I'm a bit surprised by how warm it is. Ellie makes me hand her my coat and my stuff, and she puts mine and hers aside.

The house inside looks way better than it does outside. The lights are dim, the Christmas tree has colorful lights wrapped around it, and it smells like an apple pie is cooking. It feels like an actual home, and the chimney is decorated with socks, and next to it, on the wall, are pictures of young Ellie.

"You look cute," I tell her, speaking about the photos, as she walks towards me.

She blushes, her ears go red, "Uh, you weren't meant to see that."

"Oh, stop it," I chuckle. "You look adorable.”

"I bet you looked way more adorable than me."

"I looked like a disfigured mosquito with a big ass."

Ellie laughs as her hand goes to my hip, "First of all, if you were a disfigured mosquito—which you're not by the way—I would still like you; second of all, I love your big ass."

"Oh, so that's all you love about me?" I ask, teasingly, slightly tilting my head. "Just my ass?"

I feel Ellie's hands move downwards, nearly gripping my butt, before I hear someone clearing their throat. I'm so red I'm not even a tomato... I probably look like a fucking chili pepper or something.

I know it's Joel because Ellie has a picture of him with her on her nightstand. She looks at Joel as her hands linger on my hips for a second, then she takes them off and walks towards him.

"Joel," Ellie says, hugging him. "Hey, old man."

"Kiddo, you've grown so much."

"I look the same as last month."

"Yeah, just thought it’d make you feel better."

Ellie laughs as she pulls apart. I just stand there, awkwardly behind Ellie. Finally, Joel looks at me.

"Oh, hi," he says, now looking at me. "Ellie has talked a lot about you."

I nod, "Thanks for letting me stay, Mr. Miller."

"Just call me Joel."

"Well," Ellie interrupts. "We're going to my room, I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, I'll tell you when Tommy and Maria get here."

Ellie takes our bags, which she insists on doing alone, and leads me to her room.

Her room, it's… so her. Posters of bands cover every inch of her walls, and her desk is stained with paint.

I sit on her bed and look around as she sits next to me.

"I like your room," I tell her, feeling her knee bump against mine. She's so close to me I can feel her breath on my neck.

"It’s messy, though." She’s looking at me, but I can't dare to look at her.

I feel guilty for not being at home now, it gnaws at me. Is mom alone? And why do I care? Why do I feel guilt over the person who made me hurt more? She always wants to fight—there's always constant battles between us, battles she always wins. So why do I miss her and why is it hard to accept?

"What are you thinking?"

I chuckle, "It’s nothing."

"Well—alright," she lets the subject the subject slip. She kisses my cheek and then my lips and her hands roam my body. We just make out, though.

Christmas dinner goes fine. Better than I thought it would. The Millers are like a real family, they talk to me like they've known me for years, even though I feel like an intruder in their house. I don't want to be fond of them, or else I'll cling to them like they're family.

Maria and Tommy have a baby and most of the night is spent with Ellie cradling the baby and me sitting next to him. We drink hot chocolate with marshmallows. This is the happiest I've ever been at Christmas.

At night, I leave Ellie's warm embrace to go for a glass of water. I can't sleep, my mind is racing and it won't shut off.

When I go downstairs Joel is sitting at the kitchen table, I don't know what to say to him. Which is okay, because he speaks first.

"Can't sleep?" He asks.

For a moment I think he has confused me for Ellie, because why is he talking to me?

"Yeah," I say, getting my glass of water.

"I won't give the 'hurt my daughter and I'll kill you' talk if that's what you're worried about."

I try to laugh, "Thanks, I guess. You're—you're a great dad."

"Well, you're a great kid."

"Thank you," I answer because I don't know what else to say. He's indeed a great dad. He's funny and nice and caring. I've seen the way he talks to Ellie. Unlike my father he doesn't look at her daughter like he's trying to fix their relationship, therefore their conversations don't look forced; Ellie has referred to me as her girlfriend at Christmas dinner, and all Joel did was smile. It made me want to throw up, even if I felt welcomed.

"Hey—uh, I'm sorry if I approach this in the wrong way… but Ellie has told me that your mother is causing you trouble."

"Yeah," I don't know what to say, again. How do I answer this? How should I feel about this? "She's been a little difficult, but you know. It's the normal mother-daughter fight, nothing to worry about."

"Okay," he nods. "If you want you can talk to me, or Ellie—she's… she's been a little worried."

I hadn't seen that coming. Is Ellie's worried?

"I—I will talk to her. Thank you."

She doesn't want you. She's your friend, she doesn't want you. She will fall in love with you, not your brain nor your scars, and when she finds out about the way you think she'll leave.

I want to say Mr. Miller but I know he wants me to call him Joel—which makes me a little awkward. "I'm going to sleep now."

"Get the rest you need," he smiles. "Leave the cup on the table, I'll wash it."

I wake up being the little spoon.

Ellie has her arms wrapped around me like she's afraid I'll leave. As I slowly open my eyes I can also feel Ellie shifting behind me.

"Morning," she speaks in her morning voice, the vibration of her voice against my neck sends shivers down my spine—in a good way.

I smile, "Hey."

"How did you sleep?"

"More than good. Your bed is very comfortable."

"Yeah," she pulls me closer to her front, "I could stay here forever."

We don't stay there forever, though, because we open presents. It's just Joel, Ellie, and me. Surprisingly there's one for me from Joel, and Maria and Tommy.

Ellie gave me a necklace and a ring, which might seem simple to others but I had been planning on buying it for a fucking long while. It always was out of sale. And the ring had a moon on it.

"Fuck, Ellie," I say as I look at her, sitting on the floor with my legs crossed. "This is amazing, I love this."

"Yeah?" She asks. She's sitting next to me, her legs stretched out, resting her weight on one of her arms behind her. I notice she looks flushed. Her cheeks are slightly more pink than they always are.

I nod, kissing her, "Thank you, thank you, thank you..."

She chuckles after I give her one last kiss, "Time to open mine now, I guess."

I look at her as she opens what I gave her. It's small, compared to what she gave me. Is just one of the first pictures we took together framed, just after I moved in. I also gave her a white silver beaded bracelet I had made.

"I remember this day," she says, looking at the picture. "I remember I was trying to impress you all day long, you know? I just wanted to make you laugh... and well, you did."

I chuckle, "I did laugh at all your jokes, but I think that's just because I have a very shitty humor."

"I'm glad we share it."

Ellie looks at the bracelet and the framed photo with a tender smile, her eyes glistening.

"I love it," she says softly, as she puts the photo down, her voice barely above a whisper. "I love you."

Her words make my heart race, and I feel my cheeks heat up.

"I love you too," I reply, my voice steady despite the emotions swirling inside me. I think this is the happiest I've ever been; I think I'll remember this moment forever.

We spend the rest of the morning together, laughing and sharing stories. For the first time in a long while, I feel like I belong somewhere.

After breakfast, as Ellie and I sit on the couch with our fingers intertwined, Joel comes over with a cup of hot chocolate.

"Merry Christmas, you two," he says with a kind smile, handing us the mugs.

"Merry Christmas," I say.

Alright, yeah. This might be the best Christmas I've ever had.

#ellie williams #ellie x reader #the last of us 2 #tlou #mental health awareness #ellie williams x y/n #wlw #lesbian #idk what is this #depression awarness #fic #joel miller #adopted ellie #fluff #christmas #emwrites ; ⋆

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the-night-that-feeds-if · 2 months

Text

Hey everyone, dunno how long this might be, kind of doing a stream of consciousness style ramble about TNTF and me and stuff :)

alright so, tntf is getting a huge rework, this is my first if game ever, the coding is a little overwhelming, i know it’s fairly simple but it’s A LOT.

the reason i’ve been pretty quiet is mostly due to burnout, as some of you know i have health issues, i have crohns disease, i’m also autistic with adhd—something i love about this community is the understanding and acceptance for people/authors like me who may want to write but are just too stuck to be able to do it.

i know everyone is so jazzed for the next update, and i am too, there’s a few changes i’m making in regards to the technical aspects of the story, i’m removing stats, for the MC and for relationships. part of it is… i’m not a numbers person, trying to balance out the stats going up and down is a pain when this is planned to be a pretty damn long story. i also just don’t like it for my story personally, i don’t want you, as the player to feel like you have to game-ify personality or relationships.

this also opens the option for me to write more player responses to situations without having all of that annoying code in my brain~ MORE FLAVOR!

My writing has also vastly improved when it comes to fiction, a lot because i have been practicing so much while i’ve been sick (i’ve been playing with and writing AI chatbots on Janitor.AI, learning how to create a complex and realistic personality, an engaging character and world.) It’s been useful as a stress reliever and as a tool to help me write better, more descriptive etc.

on that note, smut in my game is also a very yes, i feel much more comfortable writing it now… heh.

i’ve also decided that all of my books are going to remain free, tntf was a planned three book series, it may just be one or two HUGE books, we’re going to have to see what i, and twine are capable of. but the story is going to span four countries and two continents of the world, so yeah.

the new rewrite is also going to slow things down considerably, because now we’ll have MC on a ship for four months as the intro, then meeting maddock and spending <insert amount of time here> with him while traveling to that little inn. it also gives me more room to introduce the characters a lot earlier but in their own POVs and not just while they’re with MC. i want the world to feel alive.

my decision to make and keep tntf free is because i want to.

i would not appreciate minors interacting with my content, but i also grew up with the internet, i know that no matter how much prevention we put in, minors are going to access our content regardless if it’s free or not. i just ask that if you are a minor and reading adult fiction, please don’t comment, dm or whatever, this is for your safety in the community as well as, i don’t want to deal with other people’s children on the internet, it’s nothing against any of ya’ll, you’re awesome, children are great but i’m almost 26, i really don’t want to deal with kids in what’s pretty much an adult space (i haven’t really seen books catered to the younger than 18 crowd, but like i’m saying, i’m more interested in forging connections with the adult community here, considering i am one, lmao *bats children away with pool noodles*)

i think that’s it

i might post more stuff but that’s my general direction

also to the asks in my inbox from last year on my birthday and forward… I READ THEM ALL AND APPRECIATE EVERY WELL WISH AND FEEDBACK, GENUINELY. i’m just bad at social media.

#the night that feeds #tntf #interactive fiction #tntf if #personal not if related #personal if related #dark fantasy #maddock #the hunger #captain ward #fellis

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nanthegirl · 6 months

Text

⭐︎Hi Hello⭐︎

I love reading everyone’s intro posts because they’re so cute and I’m nosy. So here’s mine🧍🏾‍♀️. Although I’m a bit concerned about redundancy because of my bio, but whatever.

• Nanu

• Medical Technology Student

• Germany

• Languages- English, mother tongue and German, B2 C1, who knows?

• Interests & Hobbies- Beginner violinist, trying to get into art, The Sims, crochet, reading, writing only for my Sims though and Disco Elysium.

I was so stressed about writing one of these and it ended up being very anticlimactic. Which is good.

More Semester specific info under the cut🧍🏾‍♀️. (03/04/2024)

I’m in my 6th Semester which, all things being equal, should’ve been my last. But I haven’t particularly been the best student due to a…. bunch of stuff. So I may end up taking an extra semester or two. I’m done most of my classes though so I just have exams to write. A lot. Im also doing the Lab for Physics 2 now cause I wasn’t able to do it in my 2nd Semester because my apartment didn’t have electricity or WiFi lmao.

Main Goals for The Semester

Get 1’s on every exam. Ridiculously ambitious considering the highest grade I’ve ever gotten is a 1,3 and that was just once but if I don’t see the point in not aiming for a perfect grade. Like, I might as well.

Up my gpa as much as I can, hence the 1’s. I want to make sure I get into a good masters program and I’m sort of glad I delayed a bunch of my exams cause I would’ve probably gotten shit grades if I wrote them then so. Silver lining.

Study consistently and try to be more interested in the material. I always feel like a fraud when I pass any exam cause I feel like I didn’t really learn anything and I won’t be able to get a job. My degree has some interesting parts and I want to learn to enjoy the entirety of it. Basically up my curiosity for knowledge.

Work on my German. I’ve not set down a solid plan for this yet but I definitely need improvement. I avoided all the electives that required presentations last semester and I heavily regret it now. The only way to dissolve the anxiety over speaking German is to give myself nothing to worry about in the first place. I’m also looking forward to being more comfortable with it so I can focus on learning my native language and many others.

Practice the violin consistently. I’m super shy about practicing in my apartment cause I assume everybody thinks it sounds terrible and it’s too loud but my goal is overcome that fear and make significant progress.

Practice drawing consistently. I really do want to improve my art and I’m like a beginner beginner beginner. It can feel super discouraging sometimes but also fun and I really hope I can stick with it.

Clean my room every Saturday.

I pqlanned to write a whole lot more here but I’m not in the mood anymore so the whole cut thing feels like a waste. But it’s been done. So. Thank you for bothering to read this and I hope you get to achieve all your goals🤍.

#I love studyblrs so much #I also love when people get detailed about what they’re studying #I want to knowwwww #studyblr introduction #studyblr #studyblr intro post #study motivation #university #studyinspo #study #studyspo

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jasntodds · 8 months

Text

Petrichor [16]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 13,749

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, fluff, blood, gunshot wound, a little bit of gore, mentions of death, panic attacks, hurt/comfort

Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: Hey!! lmao so sorry for the super late update. I was sick and then some personal stuff happened and then I thought I got covid so yeah hi lol I'm so sorry lol This chapter was like 20k+ words so I split it into two because that was a lot lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

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Jason is stuck pacing back and forth in the room he’s calling a bedroom now. Worry has taken every part of him as his hand grips his phone like a vice. It’s been hours. He hasn’t heard from you or Dick or Gar. He hasn’t heard from anyone and he’s tried calling you seven times. But, your phone is off and your phone is never off. That is the one thing about you, your phone will never be off unless there is a reason for it and being hurt isn’t a good reason. Not to you. The only time your phone even dies is…never. Jason thinks about it and he doesn’t think you’ve let your phone even reach 20% in the entire time you’ve known each other. He thinks it’s probably so someone can always find you and you can always call for help because you’re almost paranoid about it dying. Your phone doesn’t die.

That leaves Jason thinking the worst of the worst. If your phone is off, that means it has to be dead or you shut it off for some reason but that’s uncharacteristic of you. So, he thinks maybe it did die and if it died, that’s because you didn’t charge it. If you didn’t charge your phone, it’s because you were physically incapable of charging it. What if something really bad happened? What if you were shot somewhere else? Jason knows Crane wanted you taken care of, maybe he shot you twice but you’re really good at hiding your pain when you need to. Adrenaline probably kicked in and shock, you were scared for Tim. Maybe you didn’t realize how bad it was. What if there was a complication of some sort and something bad happened?

Jason’s mouth starts to water as his eyes burn. His brows pinch together hard as his teeth grind so hard his jaw starts to ache. He was brought back. But, a part of him really hates that he was. Would you want to be brought back? If you died, would you want to be brought back like him? Jason comes to a stop, trying to steady his own breathing as his leg aches and burns. The scars on his chest feel like he’s being cut open again. What if you don’t want to be brought back but Jason did anyway? What if you did, and he does nothing?

What if you did die?

If you did die…Gar would call him, right?

Gar would definitely call, Jason assures himself. Gar would call immediately if something were happening. He has the number now and Jason’s ringer is on with the vibration set to strong. He has no missed calls but he’s certain Gar would call. If not, he would have called Molly and Molly would have found a way to call Jason. If you were dead, one of them would call him.

And then Jason swallows his own heartbeat as his phone starts ringing.

Gar.

“Hey.” Jason clears his throat, trying to keep himself together as he tries to prepare himself for the worst news he’ll ever get.

“Is she there?” Gar asks and Jason can hear the worry etched in his voice.

“Uh…no?” Jason questions and he’s not sure if he should be relieved or panicked with Gar not knowing where you are. At least he’s not calling to tell Jason you’re dead but that does not rule out you bleeding out in a ditch somewhere. “I told her to go with you.”

Gar sighs on the end, running a hand through his hair. “She took off. I thought maybe she went to find you but she was hurt and she’s not answering her phone. Molly hasn’t heard from her either.”

Jason already figured you wouldn’t go to Molly. If you went to Molly, she would worry, give you a look you don’t like, and you’d run away again anyway. The last thing you’d want to do is drag Molly into it further. But, Jason really hoped you’d have listened for once and just went with Gar. Or at least sent a text to one of them to let them know you’re okay or not.

“She hasn’t been around.” Jason keeps his voice quiet and he looks around his room as if the answer is going to be written on the walls.

“Uh…hey, I know this…might not be what it’s for, but can you track her? She was shot and we’re all really worried.” Gar’s voice is hesitant as he scrunches his nose, hating the idea of having Jason do it. It feels like an invasion of privacy, especially Gar being the one to ask but it’s a last-ditch effort.

Of course, Jason’s been thinking about it. But, something in him can’t get himself to do it. On the small chance you did shut your phone off, that means you don’t want to be found. Jason can’t overstep, he can’t intrude on you. Even if he is desperately wanting to because you could be dead. He thought maybe he’d give you twenty more minutes and then he’d just do it anyway.

“Have you looked for her?” Jason asks, eying his tablet you left out.

“No, I called you first.” Gar admits. Honestly, Gar doesn’t even know where to look but he knew Jason would.

With no one out looking for you, maybe they don’t have to track you and possibly invade your privacy. If you’re just blowing off steam or punishing yourself, Jason knows exactly where you’ll be. He figures, if him, Gar, and Molly can’t find you within an hour, checking all of your spots, he’ll use the tracker.

“Okay, you and Molly go look for her at her usual spots. Molly’ll know ‘em and I’ll check a few others. If we don’t find her in an hour, I’ll track her.” Jason nods his head on the other end.

“Do you think we’ll actually find her? I mean you know how she is.” Gar isn’t trying to be pessimistic but it’s been hours and he thought for sure, you would be with Jason.

Jason can feel the panic attack starting to course through his blood. His heart is racing and his hands are growing clammy and he’s getting unreasonably angry. It is not Gar’s fault because even on a good day, getting you to listen is like pulling fucking teeth, especially when it has to do with taking care of yourself. Jason knows this better than anyone but he’s mad anyway and he knows it’s the panic attack. You were fucking shot and he took off so he’s mad at himself for listening. And he’s mad that you were shot and Gar didn’t stop you. He can turn into a fucking tiger for fuck’s sake, couldn’t he have turned into a tiger to stop you? Tackled you to the ground and pinned you there, dragged you to the manor kicking and screaming if that’s what he had to do. You were shot and maybe you’re dead now and he didn’t help. And Jason didn’t fucking help.

“Fuck! Gar, then you should have fucking followed her!” Jason snaps and immediately feels bad about it but any part of him that should apologize is washed over with guilt and regret and more anger. “Just go fucking look for her with Molly and I’ll look other places.” Jason grabs his coat from the bed and heads for the door.

“Where should we start?” Gar is quiet on the other end.

“The zoo.” Jason spits right back without even thinking. “Start there, then the harbor and I’ll–” Jason cuts himself off as he swings the door open, seeing you right in front of him with bloodshot eyes and blood-stained clothes and hands.

Gotham never sleeps. It never stalls. Everything is always moving, always loud. There is always something going on, people always going from one spot to the next in their lives. In some ways, it’s a little comforting. A reminder that you are here. You are here and alive like all of the people you passed on your walk here living their own lives. On the other hand, you wish it were quiet sometimes. You wish it were quiet sometimes because everything seems too much sometimes and your skin crawls while your heart feels like it’s going to beat out your chest. Your head spins and everything feels too much. But, it was quiet in the basement. It was quiet in the tower before you were attacked. It was quiet in the tunnels. It was quiet when you found Jason. It was quiet when Tim was shot. Maybe quiet is the surrounding air grieving for the mess fate’s created.

So, you stand in Jason’s doorway because quiet with him, alive and breathing, has always been the safest place to be. You stand weakly, haunted by everything that’s happened as the very idea of existing physically pains the deepest parts of your heart.

It’s hard to go through the same shit all the time. You’re just supposed to be fine with it. It’s happened before and you got over it, so you can get over it again, right? At some point, someone reaches the end of their rope and you think you might be there. It is the same pain over and over again and it never gets any easier. Time passes and it all just hurts anyway. People say time heals everything but you don’t think that’s true because you think about your mom dying and it’s like the wind’s been kicked from your chest all over again. You remember Jason’s body and it’s like you're being waterboarded. Time doesn’t heal anything. It’s not even like you’re used to it. You were just traumatized and avoid thinking about everything so it doesn’t fucking hurt so much. But, even that’s just exhausting. Existing is hard and tiring and painful.

Maybe you’re just tired of being in pain.

Your bottom lip starts to quiver and you always felt safest with him. Even from your own thoughts. You never felt too much pain around him. He always knows exactly what to do and it’s all too much right now. Being alone doesn’t work anymore. So, you stare up at him as Jason’s brows pull together with a cross between worry and relief.

“Jason?” Gar calls. “You there?” Gar asks.

“I got her.” Jason says. “She’s here. I’ll call you later.” Jason says quickly before hanging up. “Hey.” Jason’s voice is soft and careful, noticing you’re not making eye contact with him.

You walk the couple of feet up to him as Jason keeps his stance, almost ready to do whatever you’ll need. And all you do is lean forward and rest your forehead against his chest. Jason lets out a breath and you’re able to pull one in for the first time. Jason rests his hand on your back, rubbing up and down slowly as he hears you sniffle against him.

“Gar was calling in a search party. Where the fuck were you?” Jason asks and he should have some sort of bite in his voice but he’s too worried and too relieved.

You look back up to him and shake your head. “Walking. I couldn’t-I couldn’t…do it.” Your jaw squares as you try to hold back your own tears. “S-sorry..I-I didn’t mean to…to, uh, worry you guys. I-I just…just couldn’t.”

Jason nods with understanding, looking you over and it doesn’t look like you took care of the gunshot wound. Your clothes are soaked and your hair is an utter mess. There’s blood on your face and he swears your cheeks are stained with tears and you actually look cold.

Jason rests his hand on your cheek and you finally meet his eyes. “You alright?” Jason asks softly.

“Hurts.” You mutter and his hand almost feels like it’s burning your cheek. He’s so warm.

“The gunshot?” Jason questions, almost afraid of the answer.

“Everything.” You answer weakly with defeat.

You've never seen his look on him before. His jaw is squared but it’s soft rather than harsh like he’d been trying to shatter his own teeth. His brows are pinched but not completely pulled together and they’re aimed downward, etched in worry. His eyes are scanning you over every few seconds as if he’s stuck between thinking you aren’t really here and terrified something really bad is about to happen. Jason Todd worries and you've seen him worried plenty of times but this is different. You've seen him scared, too, plenty of times. More times than you can really count. But, this is different. It’s a different look and it’s because it’s you. And that look alone, chops and hacks at the barrier holding you together until it finally crumbles at your feet.

“It’s all my fault, Jay.” You sputter as you feel your eyes starting to water again. “It’s all my fault and I really fucked up and Tim could die or he did die. I don’t even know cause I left and I’m a fucking coward for leaving and it’s all my fucking fault.” Your mouth waters and you can’t look at his eyes because it’s all too much. “And there was so much…blood again. And the last time…it was you and it was horrible and I lost you and I couldn’t do it again and it just hurts all the time.” You suck in a shaky breath. “And-and Gar would say it’s not my fault and he’d give me the look but it is my fault. And Dick would be mad at me and I deserve it but I can’t hear it right now because I don’t know if I can handle it. And….it’s just-it’s just my fault. And I don’t know if could save him but I tried and I tried to save you, too.” You sputter before a sob finally rips through your throat. It bounces against the walls in a strangled and broken wail as if the very life you've lived has finally taken its toll on you for the last time. Jason isn’t sure he can listen to it because it physically pains him to see and hear you like this.

“Y/n.” Jason tries to get out but you shake your head.

“I tried really fucking hard to save you and it didn’t work. And I had to call Bruce and beg him to help me and he couldn’t and it was so fucking horrible and painful and scary.” You try to suck in a breath as tears scatter down your face. Everything is just wet and ugly, and burning. “It was so bad and I was so alone.” You suck in a ragged breath, your voice cracking and breaking between sobs. “Because Molly didn’t know and fuck Bruce and Gar wasn’t here. I was so alone and it was so scary because there was so much blood and brain matter.” Jason almost winces hearing it. “I don’t know if I would have been able to recognize you if you didn’t have the fucking Robin suit. It was so fucking bad and it hurts to think about and believe it happened but you’re here. And then Tim gets shot and there’s so much blood and I had to ask Dick to help and it’s like I’m there with your body again and it’s scary and it’s painful and I hate it. I hate how much it hurts. I hate doing this. I hate that it keeps happening.” Your chest heaves as you look at Jason with tears soaking your cheeks and your eyes finally meet his. And all Jason can see is defeat. “What if it just keeps happening?”

Jason shakes his head and every single time he is reminded you were the one that found him, he sends himself into a guilt-ridden spiral. Of course, you found him. That isn’t the issue. The issue is what it looked like from your perspective and the devastation it caused. He knows. He knows what it is like to find someone you love dead. He knows and it’s horrible and painful and devastating. It makes someone feel completely hopeless and helpless and useless. There has never been a time where he felt more helpless. And then he put you in that same position, not on purpose. But, he did and it was worse because it was gorey and traumatizing and he left you. He didn’t realize how badly it had traumatized you. It traumatized him, too but it affects you.

Dying doesn’t just happen to the person that’s dead. It happens to everyone around them.

“I’m so sorry.” Jason says softly, sliding his hand off your cheek. He shakes his head, biting his own tongue because he almost wants to cry with you. “I’m fucking sorry.” Jason wraps his arm around your shoulders as he pulls you into him. He’s careful not to hug you too tight, minding the gunshot wound he knows he’ll be taking care of for you later. “You’re not coward.” Jason manages to get out as he tries to come up with an answer for you even though he doesn’t think he’ll ever have one. The reality is that it will keep happening.

“Yeah, I am.” You argue back before you look up at him. “What fucking person just leaves as their friend is bleeding on the ground?”

“Someone who’s fucking traumatized.” Jason bites back. “Someone who was also fucking shot and in shock. You tried to help him and me knowing the shit you’d get for it. You fucking knew I went after the Joker and you show up alone, ready to take him on by your fucking self if you had to. You think that makes you a coward? What’s that make me then, huh?” Jason questions back, knowing you’ll never think of him as a coward, even if he sees that in himself sometimes.

“Not a coward but that’s different.” You argue.

“Fucking how?” Jason spits back. “You left Tim with Dick and the rest of the Titans who would know what to do. You were also fucking shot.” Jason shakes his head.

Jason wonders if this is what it's like dealing with him sometimes. Going round and round, circling the drain into a self-destructive spiral that only seems to have one result. It's not that he minds, it's that you think this. You're anything but a coward and Jason can't even figure out how you could think otherwise. You always do what you think is best for yourself and for the people you care about. Always. And you fight tooth and nail, as hard and as fast as you possibly can for what you believe. That's not cowardly.

“I-I know but…” You sniffle as you shake your head. “H-how can I keep doing this? I mean…losing people and the blood and….how can I do this for other people when I can’t even save the people I love?” You ask bluntly. “That’s shit, you know? We’re supposed to be out helping people and…and I can’t even…I fail with the people that matter. So, what’s the point?”

Jason would be lying if he doesn't question what the point is half the time, especially over the last few days. What's the point of living if this is even how it plays out? Pain and chaos, destruction and lonelienss. It's all pretty miserable, actually. But, he holds on anyway because it wasn't always like this.

Shit gets bad and then it gets better and yeah, it is exhausting sometimes. But, it's always gotten better. Jason doesn't know how much better it'll get from here now but he won't tell you that. He just knows he wakes up and he tries because you were nearly beaten an inch from your life and you find so much joy and love in small things that that alone seems to give Jason some sort of hope. And because Gar's family was killed and Gar was experimented on and he is the most optimistic person he has ever met. And because Molly lived on the streets with the death of her parents and Molly is the nicest person Jason has ever met. If all of these people can just be better after everything, than he can't very well just give up. And you can't either. Maybe there isn't a point but you'll never know if you give up.

“You know what you told me? You are the one that said sometimes we fail, that’s part of the job. But, we try.” Jason licks his lips as he sucks in a breath. “You talked me off the roof. Maybe Deathstroke would have tried to kill me or done worse shit if it weren’t for you. Fucking Pete Hawkins bullshit. The kid at Jerry’s. You were the one that fought tooth and fucking nail to save Gar. And you did, by the way. You saved Tim at Excellent Gotham. You failed two fucking times but by my count, you win more often.”

“Three times.” You correct him, earning you a glare. “Gar got kidnapped, we failed then…too.”

“You were both tranquilized and they used kryptonite on Krypto. I don’t think that counts.” Jason nods his head.

“I guess.” You let out a breath, looking to your shoes. “I just, uh,” You sniffle as you shake your head, looking back to him. “I just want the pain to stop.” Your voice cracks again.

Jason doesn’t say it, but he does, too. So, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into him.

You press your cheek to his chest, wrapping your arms around him as your breathing is still rapid and ragged. But, you can hear his heartbeat in between breaths. It’s fast but steady. A lot quicker than it usually is but it is there. A few more tears leak out as you count his heartbeat and are fully engulfed by his warmth. You hadn’t realized just how numb you had gotten from the cold until now. Your fingers and toes are starting to feel like painful pins and needles. Your arms are burning and your cheek sting from the salty tears. It’s as if you're thawing from his warmth. Between that and his steady heartbeat, you calm yourself down.

“I can try to help.” Jason whispers softly. “If you’ll have me.” Jason pulls away just enough to look down at you and your eyes meet his.

You told him before that you’d come for everything that ever hurt him if it came to it. Anyone that ever wanted to hurt him, would have to go through you. Because he was just Jason Todd to you. It didn’t matter that he could -- should have been able to -- take care of himself. And Jason knew that’s how it was for him, too. Anyone who wants to hurt you, has to go through him. But, the problem is that someone did hurt you…because of him. And he hurt you. Right now you're in pain and it’s because of him. It’s not right and it’s not fair to you but Jason wants to protect you. He’d cut out pieces of his heart and glue them to yours if it would make you feel better. He would do anything in this world if it would make your pain less. Any form of pain that wants to come for you, is going to have to go through him first. From now on.

You nod your head. “Always.” You croak out.

“Come on.” Jason releases his arms and cold rushes itself right back over your body. “Sit on the bed, I’ll grab you some clothes and supplies to clean that shit. We’ll start there.”

“Thanks, Jay.” You mutter softly, walking to the bed and Jason watches you carefully.

He wonders if this is how it always felt for you. He’d come home bloody and bruised, weak and pitiful. Scared and in pain. He never said anything but Jason knows you always knew. Somehow, you always knew when he was hurt and scared. But, it was always him walking through the door hurt, not you. And it was you that would stitch him up. Sure, he’s helped you with your hands, but you did it at least twice a week for months. And you never complained. But, Jason wonders if this is what it feels like.

It feels like he’s carrying the weight of the world for the both of you and he’s trapped in a worrying spin. And he is so fucking sad for you. It’s not pity, but just sadness. It’s wanting the best for you and you to have everything good in this world because you deserve it. And wanting to witness it because he loves you. It’s just wanting to see you smile and happy, making some stupid joke and telling him to fuck off. It’s just wanting you to not be in pain anymore. He wonders if this is how it felt being you and if so, he wants to know so badly how the fuck you dealt with it because he feels like he’s suffocating while he grabs you clothes.

Jason walks back over to you, handing you a pair of sweatpants and a red hoodie. “I got first aid shit in the bathroom so change and I’ll be back.” Jason nods his head at you.

“Okay.” You answer weakly and Jason hesitates for a few seconds before he practically runs off to the bathroom.

You're weak and unsteady as you change into the sweats. You're realizing you haven’t eaten in a while and you haven’t had much to drink either. That’s definitely not helping your mental state and you know it. But, if you were being really honest, none of those activities sound like things you're currently capable of doing. Changing is even almost too much effort at this point. And it fucking hurts as you try to take your shirt off to swap it for the hoodie.

“Need help?” Jason appears right back not two minutes later.

You always hated feeling helpless but not around him. “Yeah, it hurts.” You sniffle softly, sitting pitifully on the bed.

Jason walks over, resting the kit beside you before he lightly grabs the hem of your hoodie. Jason helps you tug it off of your bad shoulder and then over your head, you groaning the entire time. With the hoodie off, you're left in a blue t-shirt and Jason sees where the bullet hole is, covered in red and brown. With the chaos of last night, he didn’t check and wasn’t able to check if the wound was a through and through. Jason's stomach twists at the thought that it's not. But, he hides his worry, looking back to you with a soft sigh.

“How did you wanna do this?” Jason asks bluntly.

Your brows furrow in confusion. “I-I don’t know?” You shake your head.

“I can’t clean it with your shirt on.” Jason sucks in a breath and normally he’d have some comment about seeing you half naked again but he can’t quite muster it this time.

“Oh…” You whisper and you swear it’s fine. It’s not like you haven’t seen each other naked before and it’s not like you didn’t see Jason fully exposed just the other night. There is something that just feels…new and vulnerable again. “That’s fine.” You nod and Jason leans forward again, tugging the hem of your shirt up and over your head, freeing your arm. You grab Jason's hoodie with your good arm and Jason helps tug it onto your good arm, you thankful it's a zip-up and not a pullover. “Guess that’ll do.” You suck in a breath and you're kind of tired of feeling like this. “I expect you to actually help and not just stare at my tits the whole time.”

Jason manages a cheeky smirk. “You know I’m ass guy anyway.” Jason glances down and then back to you.

“Shithead.” You mutter and Jason’s head swims. It’s been so long since you've called him that and it almost feels nostalgic.

“Babe.” Jason quips back.

Jason takes out his phone, examining the gunshot now that there isn’t anything in the way. There’s still blood everywhere and he can’t even tell if it’s because you did such a shit job at cleaning it or if the wound is actually that bad. Something in his stomach twists and turns into a gnawing pain at the thought this is worse than he originally thought. But, he keeps a straight face, not to let his worry cross even a single line of his face. When he worries, you worry.

Jason grabs a wet rag from the bowl he brought in with him, gently cleaning around the area to try to get a better look. You let out a shaking breath, the water cool against your skin.

“Sorry, no hot water.” Jason barely glances to you as he scrubs some of the dry blood away.

“Should probably fix that.”

“Pilot lights are expensive.”

“I have Bruce’s credit card.” You mutter quietly, earning a look from Jason.

He stops, looking up at you fully. “You would.”

“Eat the rich.” You shrug. “Or take their money when it’s offered to you and he didn’t ask for it back.” Jason lets out a snicker before he goes back to cleaning. “You should use yours. It might send up a red flag for Bruce and maybe he’ll call someone back or come back.”

You hate the words as they leave your lips because wanting Bruce back means admitting defeat. But, Gotham has gone to absolute shit since Bruce decided to fuck off somewhere. At least Gotham had some degree of fear and respect for the Bat. They don't seem to like the Titans very much. And Jason's been off his rocker and you've been stuck trying to help him. Gotham does need someone they respect. Bruce should definitely come back. And if for no other reason, to see his son is alive again.

Jason scoffs. “Yeah, fucking right.” He shakes his head in annoyance. “Fuck Bruce. I don’t need him.”

Before he died, he was getting better about talking about his problems and the things that kept him up at night. He was doing better with it but then he comes back and the very idea of talking about it makes him want to crash through a window headfirst onto solid pavement. In all fairness, he already hated talking about Bruce. It was one thing to complain about him but it was an entirely other thing to unravel and dig into actually talking about him. Now, though, it’s worse because every time Jason thinks about Bruce, it’s as if his heart starts to break all over again.

Maybe him getting bludgeoned death was his fault. He knew better. But, where was Bruce? Bruce gave up on him. And then…was going to let the Joker just…live. Jason was supposed to be Bruce’s son and he couldn’t even kill the Joker for him or do anything about him. And maybe, just maybe, Jason could get over that eventually but Jason’s alive again and Bruce is nowhere to be found. With everything going on in Gotham, Jason is certain Dick would have called Bruce and let him know. If for no other reason than to rat Jason out to “dad”. So, maybe Jason feels like he was always a little expendable to Bruce, not just Crane or the Titans. And that part hurts the most.

“Didn’t say you did?” You let out a breath. “Just saying is all.” You pull in a deep breath. “Fuck Bruce, yeah. Just saying.” You, for one, still hate Bruce but Jason hating Bruce seems weird. You chalked it up to the drug at first and Crane but…Jason’s clean. It’s weird, even for Jason. “What’s your sudden issue with Bruce anyway?”

“You got a problem with me having a problem with Bruce all of a sudden?” Jason spits back and he shouldn’t, given your current state but his heartache over being abandoned by him is fresh.

“Oh, no. I am actually fine with that cause fuck Bruce but it’s weird. After all of that shit, you come back and suddenly don’t like him. That’s weird, Jay. Even for you.”

“Never fucking mattered to him. I was always just the replacement for Dick anyway. Doesn’t fucking matter.” Jason dips the rag into the water, rinsing some of the blood off before going back to the wound.

You furrow your brows, trying to figure out where that’s even coming from. “Uh…not true? Bruce is a fucking weirdo and shit but I actually think he gives a shit about you, Jay. Outside of Robin and Dick. You always said that, too. Like deep down you knew that, so what is it now?”

Jason grows more and more angered but he knows you aren’t going to drop it. “You were fucking right, alright?” Jason snaps back. “Should have killed the fucking Joker because he killed me. So fuck him.” Jason keeps his explanation short.

“Right yeah, had he just killed him, you wouldn’t have died and it doesn’t make up for it because too little, too late shit, but like…he did—“

“Can you fucking drop it, please?” Jason’s words come out more as a demand rather than a request. “I’m done fucking talking about it.” Jason looks at your shoulder from your back, seeing there’s no hole in the fabric.

“Sorry.” You say softly. It just doesn’t sit right with you. You’d still be pissed at Bruce, too because had he killed the Joker in the first place that wouldn’t have happened but that’s…not really Jason. He doesn’t hold many grudges and Bruce did kill the Joker. It was a little late for that but he did, to avenge Jason. Bruce didn’t throw his morals away for Dick, he threw them away for Jason and that would normally mean something to him. It’s weird but you know when to push and when not to. You're not in the mood to fight it anyway. “Just thought it was weird, is all.”

“It’s fine. Sorry.” Jason squints at the wound, seeing something shine back at him and his heart plummets. He grabs his phone, shining a light into the wound again. “The bullet is still inside.”

“Figured.” You let out a breath.

“I have to take it out.”

Your eyes land on his and you know this is about to suck. “Okay.” You nod your head.

“Lay back and hold the phone so I can see.” Jason hands you his phone as you do as told.

Jason grabs a pair of tweezers from the kit and he looks at the wound, grabbing your wrist to make sure the light is in the right position. Jason’s stomach twists into a hard knot, knowing how bad this is going to hurt. His leg starts to throb with the very thought of putting you through it. But, it has to be done. You're not going to go to an actual doctor for help and if he leaves the bullet in, it can lead to infection. So, Jason sucks in a deep breath and bends down hovering over the wound, careful not to block the light.

“It’s gonna hurt.” Jason glances up at you.

“Just do it.” You sigh, looking to the ceiling as your grip on his phone tightens.

Jason nods his head before gently sticking the tweezers into the wound. You slam your eyes shut as your jaw clenches. Your right hand grips onto the blanket beneath you as Jason moves the tweezers around. It’s burning and stinging like getting stung by a thousand hornets at once. It’s as if you're being shot in the spot over and over again as tears well behind your eyes. Jason is trying to be careful and quick, but the bullet is slippery thanks to the blood.

Your hand starts to shake as your breath grows rapid and uneven. You try your best to concentrate on anything besides the pain but that’s becoming increasingly more difficult. It was different when you were in the fight for your life. It was do or die and people can do absolutely insane things they should not have been able to accomplish in life or death situations. Your life isn’t in danger right now and even when you try to focus on something else, the tweezers move just enough and you're brought back to agonizing pain.

Given the events that happened, it’s hard for you to focus on anything other than the pain you're been in. You try to think of the good times but then those are tarnished like rusted silverware. Those good memories now come with pain, too. You try to focus on what you’re going to do about Crane because maybe that would kick in your fighting instincts but you're the one lying in a bed right now after being shot by him. Everything around you feels like it’s rusting and chipping away into a toxic pile of reds and browns. Tainted, tarnished, and broken.

Jason glances up to you and he can see the agony written in every wrinkle and pinch of your skin. And he can’t see with the phone basically vibrating in your hand. All he can even feel is anger and not at you. It’s entirely on him and Crane because at the end of the day, it’s his fault and Crane’s how you ended up here. You never should have been shot. You were only there to look out for him. You and Tim were collateral damage. So many people around Jason end up just being collateral damage. And they don’t deserve it. But, at the end of the day, he isn’t the one that pulled the trigger at you and all he wants to do is go right after Crane. Make him feel the same pain he’s put you through. And then worse.

“Y/n.” Jason says, sternly. “You have to stop moving. I can’t see.”

You swallow thickly, trying to stabilize your hand. “Sorry.” You manage to mutter through your gritted teeth.

Jason goes back to the wound but the second he sticks the tweezers into the flesh, you wince and flinch as hard you try to stay still. Jason is no stranger to this and he knows it is agonizing to pick something out of an open wound. Nerves and flesh are exposed that should not be. It’s horrendous and seconds feel like hours. And it’s triggering phantom pain in his leg as his heart feels like it’s being suffocated with barbed wire. He knows it’s bad when you're the one who can’t sit still.

Jason pulls back, putting the tweezers back in the kit before he cups your cheeks. He bends down so his face is just an inch from yours and you open your eyes slowly, your jaw still clenched and tears threatening to finally fall.

“You gotta stay still or I’m never gonna be able to get it out.” Jason’s voice is stern.

“It fucking hurts.” Your voice cracks weakly as you sniffle.

“You were almost beaten to death. This isn’t gonna fucking kill you. You’ll be fine.” Jason nods his head once at you before he presses his forehead to yours for just a second.

You nod weakly at him. “Yeah…”

“Just…stay still and I’ll be quick, alright?” Jason asks, seeing the doubt across your face. “I got you.” Jason offers a weak smile.

“Okay.” You nod your head in agreement.

Jason nods once more before he goes back to your wound. He focuses on the bullet while the tweezers hover above you and you can’t help but notice the lack of shaking in his hands. Come to think of it, you aren’t sure the last time you saw his hand so steady. Jason has always been so steady around you. An unmovable force.

Jason looks back to you, raising his brows as if silently asking if you if you're ready and all you do is nod quickly before looking back to the ceiling. Your grip tightens on the phone while you lock in place with all of your might just to try to stay steady.

The tweezers stick back into the bloody wound, carefully and steadily as they go right to the bullet. Jason keeps his eyes laser-focused on just getting the bullet out and you grit your teeth together as tears come to your eyes. But, you suck in a deep breath as you feel the metal scraping around the wound, clinging onto every part your self-control in order to stay steady. That’s when Jason finally is able to grab the bullet, pulling it out in a steady motion, careful not to drop it.

Jason holds the bullet with the tweezers as a triumphant grin comes to his lips. You peek your eyes open at him, the whites turning a bright shade of pale pink.

“Told you I got you.” Jason shrugs casually but the grin quirks into a cheeky smirk.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah thanks.” You roll your eyes as you sniffle.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, that shit was just, uh painful. I really don’t recommend getting shot.” You lay the phone down beside you before rubbing your right eye.

“Yeah, don’t plan on it.” Jason quips back. “Probably stop hurting soon without the bullet.”

“Be nice.” You let out a sigh. “And Dick really just went to bed like this. What a fucking psycho.”

"Yeah, but you went MIA." Jason narrows his eyes at you because maybe he is a little mad at you for it. They were all worried. He was worried. "You bitch about him but--"

“If you fucking say it, Jason Todd, I’ll kill you again.” You deadpan. “You two are the ones that are oddly similar, okay?”

Jason lets out a scoff. “Bullshit. I’m nothing like him.”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, you are. You’re different but you’re similar. You just don’t wanna see it. What? You never looked up to him before all of this shit?” You ask.

Jason sits back on his heels, dropping the bullet in the first aid kit with the tweezers to toss and clean later. “What’s to look up to?” Jason scoffs. “Being a fucking kiss ass and a goody two-shoes.”

“Because he was the first Robin.” You state casually. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, about you replacing him and shit whatever. But, didn’t you ever look up to him for even a little bit?”

Jason hangs his head and while he’s always felt less than and a bit like a failure when it came to filling his shoes, he definitely did look up to him. Dick created something so special and surreal when it came to Robin. He wasn’t Batman, he was just a kid in a suit helping Batman and that was cool. Then Bruce had all of these stories about Dick and it always made Jason want to be like him because Dick was good. That’s how Bruce always talked anyway. Jason doesn’t know that Bruce always talked about Jason in the same way when he wasn’t around. And Dick doesn’t know how Bruce would talk about him to everyone else. But Jason heard the stories and how great Dick was. He never wanted to be exactly like him but he definitely wanted to be somewhat like him. Dick’s parents were killed and he got to be Robin. By all that Jason heard, it seemed he made it out of it okay. He had Robin and he got to carry that with him. He got to have a career in helping people (kind of). Jason did want to be like him but the way he sees it, there’s a reason people say not to meet your heroes.

“Still mad about the Joker shit but…uh,” You sniffle again. “Don’t know, be a lie if I said I didn’t look up to him…and you.”

“Me?”

“I always liked your Robin.” You say quietly. “You were different. Felt like we needed your version. But I told you that.”

“Surprised you still think it.”

“I think we need someone like Red Hood.” You state, catching Jason entirely off guard.

“What? Another fucking murderer?” Jason scoffs, looking to the window above the bed before he looks back to you.

He feels so ashamed of it all at times, like right now. It's because you're the one lying here after being shot by someone Jason thought he could trust. He knows deep down, crime in Gotham needs a change. The Bat doesn't fix everything, clearly. There needs to be someone out there that is willing to do more but Jason isn't sure that's him. He already burned his bridges. He doused them in gasoline and lit a match with a smile. He feels like he's on the wrong side and there's nothing he can do to rebuild that bridge to be on the right side anymore. If there's even a right side.

“No. Someone who’s willing to do the heavy and bad shit in order to prevent worse shit from happening. Like I said, I’m not just killing people for you, it’s for all of us and everyone that will come after us. I think we need people like that and people are afraid of you and rightfully so. I dunno. Just my take, I guess.”

“Been thinking about the people I killed.” Jason lets out a breath. “Heavy shit.”

“Yeah, but a lot of that is greater good shit and the other stuff is Crane’s manipulation so you shouldn’t feel too guilty for those.” You shrug your good shoulder.

Jason shakes his head and he doesn't how you deal with any of it. You don't normally deal with much, if Jason is being honest. But, you seem to be dealing with this pretty okay. Somewhere in him, he always felt like if someone were going to go on a killing spree, you would probably be that person. Your morals have never aligned with Dick's or Bruce's. You've always felt like more could be done, permanently. But, Jason's surprised you seem so okay with it and with him killing people.

“How the fuck are you dealing with it?”

You let out a broken laugh. “I’m not.” You answer honestly. “So much shit is happening that I just…can’t.” You shake your head. “Can’t think about it.”

Jaso nods with understanding. “Yeah.” Jason sucks in a breath, deciding to drop the conversation. It feels too much again. Too loud. Too heavy. “Stay still.” Jason leans forward, grabbing the rag before he starts cleaning her wound again.

You watch him carefully. He’s not handling anything well which you can’t say you really blame him for. You wonder what you would be doing if you were in his position. How would you ever forgive yourself for not only everything that’s happened but also being manipulated? Being manipulated isn’t Jason’s fault but you know he’s probably blaming himself for it because you would be blaming yourself for it if it were you. You wonder how he feels about coming back. You haven’t really talked about it and part of that is you're just afraid to ask because talking about him dying nearly sends you into a spiraling panic attack. But, you wonder how he’s dealing with that and if he’s happy he’s back.

Jason’s hands are steady as he grabs the gauze, his brows pinched together with concentration as he goes back to the wound and you find yourself wondering if you were meant to be anyway. Everything seemed so much easier in San Francisco. You weren’t together then and it was all just fun and games. Sure, you both were kidnapped and that was bad. But, that was one thing. Meanwhile, being together in Gotham has been a shitshow since the start almost. Maybe it’s just the butterfly effect but you wonder if it was just you both trying to find solace in each other or if it was as real as it’s always felt. Maybe you were just feeding off of each other’s own self-destruction and avoidance. Maybe being together helped the other one crumble.

Your eyes scan over his face and you realize, you don’t remember the last time you saw his face bruised. But, while you were together, he was always littered in them and almost always had one somewhere on his face like a Jackson Pollock. That solidifies the thought of you. Maybe you weren’t meant to be after all. Maybe you were actually bad for each other. Maybe you being together really was just you both self-destructing, knowing damn well one of you would die and it would destroy you. Maybe being together was always a way to hurt yourselves in the worst way.

And that hurts worse than the gunshot.

You've always been so sure about him. Even when you weren't sure, a part of you was. It was always supposed to be him. Him and you. But, you were shot and you're thinking a lot about how people's lives might be better if you weren't in them anymore. You're thinking about how things might be better for Jason if you weren't together. You skew your own reality, convincing yourself you got together in order to hurt yourselves. That's all it could possibly be. You ignore every thought about you confessing how loving him is the easiest thing you'd ever done. You push every thought of every soft moment you have ever had into the darkest part of your mind where they can be tainted and painted over. You push away everything Jason has ever told you and goes against everything Jason has ever believed about himself and what he deserves. It all feels like lies to yourself. It was just self-destruction because that has to be it, right?

You go back and forth with yourself. One part of you thinking this must be fact and the other part of you thinking it's just because it's a bad day. Everything feels worse on bad days and it is so easy to push everything good into a dark corner and paint right over it as if it were something different entirely. And today is a bad day. So, a part of you screams and begs for you to just ask Jason because Jason wouldn't lie. If it was all just self-destruction, Jason would tell you. He wouldn't lie about it.

“Do you think we were just a consequence of our own self-destruction?” You ask quietly, moving your eyes to the ceiling. "Or...was it like....real?"

Jason hears the question and pauses. He almost questions if he heard you correctly but he glances back to you and you're avoiding his stare which means he definitely did. His heart sinks and he thinks he forgot how to breathe for a second. Do you actually think that? Jason isn’t sure what would hurt more at this point. You thinking that’s all you were to him or that being all you were to you.

“What?” Jason asks, more for clarity.

“I mean like…exactly, uh, what I said. Do, uh, d-do you think we were just a consequence of our own self-destruction?” You chew the inside of your cheek and you regret asking. “Or…was it all real?”

The question hangs in the air like the blade of a guillotine, just waiting for one of you to pull the rope and end it all. The air starts to feel stale and cold and heavy as Jason doesn’t move, processing the question.

He’s not entirely sure where that question is even coming from. This whole time, you've wanted nothing more than him and you've said that. You have told him that he is all you have ever wanted. Why would you just be a consequence? Was he just a consequence?

Jason sits all the way up, coming into view. “Do you think that?” Jason asks bluntly as his breath hangs in the stagnant air. It’s as if he is clawing at the last remaining parts of his voice to remain steady and not shatter and break.

You look back to him, following the hollowed lines of worry of his face. You aren’t sure he’s breathing and you regret asking the question. You don’t even know why you asked in the first place. It’s not like you actually want to know because sometimes not knowing is just better, less painful. And the look on his face isn’t making you feel any better because he looks torn between devasted and angry.

“I asked you first.” You say quietly.

“No.” Jason states bluntly, almost harshly.

Being with you was never him self-destructing. In Jason’s eyes, as much as it all got fucked up in the end, being with you healed more parts of him than he ever thought possible. Being with you actually healed parts of him he swore would never be put together no matter how hard he tried. You made him better. He got to be who he wanted to be with you and shamelessly, you fully accepted him. And he really thought, he could be that version of himself forever because you always convinced him he could. You made him want to put in a hard effort into coming home and thinking twice before doing something a little too reckless, outside of the whole Crane and Joker thing. You showed him what it was like to be loved without conditions. And Jason loves you still. No conditions. No consequence. No self-destruction. He loves you yesterday, today, and he is positive he’ll love you tomorrow and every day after that because he wants to.

“Do you?” Jason asks, choosing not to elaborate.

You swallow a lump in your throat. Despite your own negative thoughts, you know you don't. Not really. Maybe you thinking it is a self-destruction thing, maybe it's your way of trying in order to punish yourself for Tim and everything else. But, no. Of course, not.

“No.” Your voice is quiet and fragile, making Jason’s heart sink because he knows there’s a but coming. “But, uh..we just…we ended up here.” You let out a scoff. “And, uh, I don’t know.” You shake your head. “We said some pretty fucked up shit to each other and I know…uh, I know you were high but, uh…yeah.”

Devasted. That’s all Jason can feel because he’s one of the reasons you even asked. He knows he said some horrible shit to you and he can’t take any of it back. Words are long-lasting. They enter the air and stick to it, absorbing itself into your lungs as you pull in a breath and let it fester there. That’s where the words start and travel to your brain where they store away, pecking at you just at the right moments. No one can take words back and Jason knows that. But, he has to try anyway even if he doesn't think it’ll salvage you. You have to know you meant and mean the entire world to him still.

“I didn’t mean any of that shit, okay? I swear, I didn’t fucking mean it.” Jason states quickly. “I was fucking high and I just wanted to fucking hurt you which is fucked up and I’m fucking sorry.” Jason spits out quickly but with a fire. There is no relief coming to your face and even if you are nothing to each other after this is over, he needs you to believe him. Jason cups your face. “I fucking swear. We weren’t a fucking mistake and you were the best thing that happened to me and I fucked that up. That’s on me. You made me better. I’m fucking so sorry, alright?”

You nod against his hand. And you know. You were also high and none of the shit you said is true. You didn't mean any of it. You didn't even mean the shit you said while you were sober. Maybe it's just a part of you that needs it to be verified today.

“I know and I’m sorry, too. I don’t know. I just get thinking about it, I guess. We both ended up here and it’s just…” You suck in a breath. “I know.” You place your hands over his. “Because I said some horrible shit, too, and then I hit you. And uh…I know. It’s just…that on top of everything else that happened. Like…” You shrug softly. “You died, Jason.”

Jason drops his hands, shaking his head, putting the pieces together. There is no way in hell you really think him going off on his own is your fault. Every piece of that shit plan, was on Jason. It was on him to just wait and get help. It was on him to reach out and get help. It was on him not to trust Crane. Everything was on him. That's not for you to carry.

“You don’t really think that shit is on you, right?”

“I should have seen it.” You sputter. “I should have fucking known, Jay. And the more I think about it, the more I think maybe I did know and maybe I just…let it happen to teach you a lesson about being dumb out there and—“

“Stop.” Jason cuts you off sharply. “You would never let me go after the fucking Joker by myself. You never would have even if you wanted to teach me some lesson. And I don’t think that’s it either. You do the same shit I do.” Jason scoffs. “I went after him. By myself. I do what I always did. I went after him. Alone, And I died alone. Because I never fucking ask for help. That’s not on you. And it’s got nothing to fucking do with us.”

“Yeah, but if you were me?” You question. “You’d be thinking the same thing. There were so many signs and I just…somehow missed every single one of them. I have to think I ignored them and maybe not to teach you a lesson but because I was scared.”

Jason sucks in a breath and he knows you're right because if it were him, he’d never forgive himself. If the roles were reversed, he’d also be questioning how he missed it and maybe he let you do it. Maybe he ignored the signs on purpose. Jason, being on the side he is, knows for a fact you didn’t willfully ignore any sign. You have shown him time and time again that if you have any say in it, you’d never let something happen to him. But, Jason understands why you think that so he sucks in a breath and decides to take some of that Gar advice for once.

“I remember what I was thinking about while the Joker was playing whack-a-mole with my head.” Jason mutters, earning him a grimace and a glare from you.

“Really?” You give him a displeased look.

Jason shrugs. “Well…” Jason sucks in a breath with the quick raise of his brows.

“You do though?” You ask cautiously.

Jason nods. “Yeah, I…I remember everything.” Jason swallows the growing lump in his throat. “Told you that, but…yeah.” Jason nods quickly. “Remember thinking I should have just listened to you. I should have told you because you would have talked me out of it, you would have told Bruce and Dick. I’d be pissed…but you would have helped and I wouldn’t be getting killed. So…just fucking saying,” Jason sucks in a breath and goes back to your wound. “Me dying had nothing to fucking do with you and there was nothing you could have done differently. We weren’t a consequence our own self-destruction. I’m really fucking sorry for all of the shit I’ve put you through.”

Your brows furrow and your heart starts to break again. It must be a horrible task to wake up every single day with memories, even down to final thoughts, about literally dying. You know it’s your own personal hell at this point but the idea of Jason reliving it every single day…it’s worse. And the fact he brought it up without you asking, you know.

“I forgive you, Jay.” You say quietly. “And I really, really, mean that, okay? Your, uh…your last thoughts…were regret?” You ask cautiously.

Jason shakes his head. “No.” Jason answers plainly. “Not all of them.” Jason lets out a breath. The last thing Jason wants is to talk about how the last thing he remembers is knowing he was going to die. You don't need to know that, that's for damn sure.“I-I don’t want to talk about it though. I really just needed you to know that.”

“Thank you, Jay." You watch him carefully, seeing something distant and broken cloud over his eyes. His brows pull together as if he's in pain and his hand starts to shake. You hope he'll talk about it one day. Maybe being brought back isn't all it's cracked up to be. "When you do want to talk, please talk t me.”

“I will.” Jason nods his head at you once before finishing up the wound.

“Maybe we were both just ticking time bombs to get here.” You suck in a breath. “I don’t think we were a consequence and it was real for me. I just…had to ask I guess.”

“Maybe we kept each other from getting here.” Jason nearly mutters the words under his breath before he goes back to fixing up your wound.

You let the silence fill the room as you think about it because maybe he’s right. It wasn’t until he died the two of you fell off the deep end. Sure, things weren’t great for you both mentally but maybe you together helped stabilize some part of you both. Maybe being together was the glue you both needed like a kintsugi sculpture. Putting broken pieces back together to be better than they were before. You both ended up here but maybe that’s better.

In the last two weeks, the two of you have learned more about each other and life and the consequences of everything. Maybe that’s how it was supposed to be. So, you both could be better people today. Maybe you both rely too much on each other to help you mend your broken pieces but that doesn’t mean you were bad together or you were the cause of this. That doesn’t mean who you both are today is worse. Maybe who you both are today is better because it’s honest.

You both are scared but you both are honest and you aren’t letting your fears control every aspect of everything you do. You’re both standing up for yourselves in ways you didn’t think you would. Jason is figuring out his shit now and standing where he should. Where he wants. He’s standing up against people who made him feel worthless, something he otherwise never did too much. Maybe this is who you both are meant to be in the end and maybe that’s not so bad.

“Done.” Jason backs away as you look down, seeing your shoulder bandaged. “Don’t get shot again.” Jason manages the tint of a smirk.

“Gee, I wonder why I didn’t think of that.” You mock him before you sit up and slide the hoodie on entirely.

“Yeah, you really fucking should have. I mean, get it together, babe.” Jason offers a little bit of snark, the smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.

“Okay, fuck you.” You laugh softly. “Thank you.”

Jason nods his head. “Anytime.” Jason smiles softly at you.

You pull out your phone from your other hoodie and hand it to Jason. "It died and in the chaos, I dropped my charging block." You offer a guilty smile as Jason takes your phone and plugs it into his charger. “So, uh, what’re you gonna do about Crane? Like….fuck.” You roll your eyes.

“Kill him.” Jason spits.

“No.” You shake your head. “I was serious. I wanna kill him.”

“Seriously?” Jason quips.

“Yes. I’m sick of people making you think you’re some fucking monster when you’re not. And he fucking sucks anyway. He did everything to you, he almost got Dick killed, he’s gotten innocent people killed, he almost killed me, and he killed or almost killed Tim. Yeah, I’d like to kill him.” You let out a sigh. “I mean, if you really want to kill him for what he did to you, go for it just let me get a shot in. If it’s for me? Let me do it.”

“It’s kind of fucked we’re even having this conversation right now.” Jason chuckles. “Fine. But, I get a few fucking shots in. I meant what I said, no one gets to fuck with you again.”

“And I meant what I said. No one gets to fuck with you, Jason Todd.” You offer him a sweet smile, something that should feel off given you're talking about killing someone but instead, it brings Jason some sort of comfort.

A smirk grows onto his lips before it turns soft. “Can handle myself.”

“Okay, no the fuck you cannot.” You quip back as you let out a soft laugh. “Just because you can though, doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. I got you.” You smile softly at him. "You and me."

Jason remembers a night a few months ago and he was sitting in the library reading because things were just a little too heavy and loud that day. You walked in and started scrapbooking on the floor just so Jason wouldn't be alone. And he remembers thinking how peaceful it was, just the two of you. He remembers thinking he felt lucky.

In a world where he experiences so much pain and unfairness, he felt lucky in that moment and in every moment he got to spend with you. As much as he loves to beat himself up, especially these days, he'd like to think maybe he can be lucky again. Maybe he can be at peace again one day. If you keep on thinking this and keep a hold on him. If you're willing to not let him do this alone, just as you said all those months ago in San Francisco, maybe you can get back to where you were and maybe you both can be lucky and at peace. Maybe the universe will offer some sort of kindness for the suffering it's caused you both.

“What about the Titans?” Jason asks, clearing his throat and swallowing his own thoughts.

“Right, yeah, I uh, I need to talk to Dick still. I told them it was Crane last night, not sure really if they believed me or not. Hope so. I’m sure Gar did so that’s at least good.” You nod your head a few times, hating the idea of having to explain this whole thing to Dick. You're kind of tired of being the mediator.

“We could just go take out Crane ourselves.” Jason suggests casually as he gets up and walks to the other side of the room where he has a mini fridge seated against the wall.

"While that does sound like fun," You laugh softly because you wish you could actually just do that. It would probably put an end to all of this but Dick would lose his shit. “I have an idea.”

“I hate when you say that.” Jason groans as he grabs two bottles of Gatorade and a box of granola bars from the top of the fridge before he walks back over to you. Jason tosses the box and one of the Gatorades at you before he plops down and scoots himself so his back rests against the wall, his legs extending in front of him. "Assumed you haven't eaten or had anything to drink." Jason explains, cracking open his Gatorade while you do the same.

"Yeah, I haven't thank you." You give him a soft smile before you start explaining yourself, grabbing a granola bar before you start your ramble. “Taking Crane out would be a fun time and he deserves it and most of our problems would likely be solved. However, what if Dick is right? What if he does have something bigger planned that we don’t know about? And then we kill him and like…maybe he poisons everyone somehow or blows up the city? I don’t know. We kind of need to know. And knowing his whereabouts would also be kind of helpful. So, what if you just….side with him still? Be the inside guy, right? And then Dick will really believe us that it wasn’t you who shot us and you won’t have to worry about Dick trying to turn you in, I wouldn’t let him but still.”

Jason pauses, holding the open bottle of Gatorade to his mouth. He's pretty sure you're suffering blood loss because that's insane. It's about as insane as you saying he should take the drug to not go through withdrawal. You're losing your sanity. "He already poisoned the water." Jason states.

"He did what now?" You blink at him.

"Your phone died, yeah. The water is poisoned with something he did so don't drink it. GCPD put out an alert this morning." Jason explains.

"Oh, that's fun. Well, still. It's Crane. You know he has something completely insane planned. Probably." You scoot closer to Jason, sitting on your knees right beside him.

“You want me to work with fucking Crane after he just tried to kill you? That’s fucking insane. Do you know that?” Jason questions with a groan. He wants nothing to do with Crane, even if he could get information from him.

“Yes.” You nod once.

“Fuck no.” Jason shakes his head in the same casual manner before snagging a granola bar.

“Jay, look, okay he thinks he can still manipulate you so let him think that and find out what he’s up to.”

“He won’t tell me shit.” Jason shakes his head in annoyance as he unwraps the granola bar.

“Maybe he will now. If he just tried to kill me and you go back to him anyway, right? Say I turned on you or whatever. That I think it was a setup against me so you wouldn’t have to be the one to pull that trigger. If he knows you’ll turn on me, maybe he’ll finally trust you enough to tell you what’s going on. You’re a pretty good liar sometimes.” You urge him and you know this is an insane idea but it's what you have. The Titans will never figure out Crane's plan without some inside help. They need it.

“You said I was shit liar.” Jason argues, pointing the granola bar at you.

“Well, to me.” You chuckle softly. “I always know when you’re lying but I think you can lie pretty well when you actually need to. I mean, no one figured out you were Robin. And I think that was obvious. I met you and all I thought was that it made sense.”

“This is fucking stupid.” Jason nods his head casually.

“Yeah, well, this whole thing has been fucking stupid. You go back to Crane, work with him and I’ll stay with the Titans. You call the burner when you find shit out and I loop Dick in. You don’t have to physically be home to work with us. You find out, the Titans bring in Crane and shut down whatever shit he’s got going on, then we kill him and you go home.” You explain simply and Jason hates just how convincing you can be.

You make a good point. Jason knows he can lie his ass off, he just wanted to argue. He's worried though because Crane has a way of knowing Jason is lying. It's how he found out about you from the beginning of it all. Jason couldn't just lie because Crane would know. It wasn't exactly a life-or-death situation then though. Maybe Jason wasn't trying all that hard to get away with lying then anyway. Crane admitting his plan would be helpful and Crane thinking you turned on Jason would give Jason enough motive to give up on the Titans entirely. It's not a horrible plan but Jason isn't happy about it.

“Alright fucking fine but this is shit and you know that.” Jason lets out a groan.

“I know.” You smile. “But, it’ll be worth it when his prodigie betrays him in the end.” You scrunch your nose, smiling with pride and Jason can see the light come back to your eyes. He thinks you're gonna be okay.

“You know, kinda hot when you got a plan all ready to go.” Jason offers you a cheeky smirk, his eyes raking over you before coming back to your face.

“I do have my moments.” You grin wickedly at him. “Kind of hot when you actually do what I say.”

“Alright, fuck you. Don't get used to it, babe.” Jason chuckles, shaking his head as the white streak flops onto his forehead. “When we doing this?”

“You could head out now, meet up with Crane and I’ll head back to the manor.” You suggest before taking a bite of your granola bar.

“Alright, just, uh, be careful, please. Let me know if shit happens with the Titans. I don’t want them attacking you for this shit.”

“I got it. I’ve been dealing with them the whole time. Don’t worry, Jay.” You smile softly a him as Jason gets to his feet and stands in front of you.

There's something dark in his eyes this time. He's standing over you as if he doesn't really want to leave. His brows are pinching together in the way they always do when he's worried and his jaw is squaring. He's putting all of the pressure onto his good leg, something you still notice immediately. But, he stands as if he's an unmovable force anyway and the smirk drops from his face.

“I’m serious, alright? Be careful.” Jason sucks in a breath and you've never seen him this kind of protective over you before.

“I will, promise.” You offer him a soft nod before Jason reluctantly heads out.

Jason is still hesitant, keeping his stance in front of you and it feels wrong. It always feels wrong to just leave. But, it's not his place to offer something else in place of him leaving anymore. And he also knows the second he walks back to Crane, that'll probably the last time you see each other until it's resolved. You're going to have to go to the Titans and Dick will likely be watching you closely, to make sure you don't get yourself killed or flip sides again. A lot can happen in a day or a few days and you were just almost killed. It scares the ever-living shit out of him, the very thought of losing you the way you lost him. He hates that he's leaving again. It's what he has to do and he knows that but knowing what he has to do to end this, doesn't make the decision any easier.

Jason leans down, placing his hand on your cheek before he rests his forehead against yours. Your eyes fall closed, a soft and subtle smile coming to your lips.

"Don't do anything fucking stupid and for once, listen to Dick and Gar, alright?" Jason asks, pulling just enough to see your face.

Your brows pull together. "You want me to listen to Dick?"

Jason is still mad at him and maybe Dick wants him dead still. That's always a possibility but something Jason knows, now that he's thinking with a clear head is that Dick does try to protect the Titans. They're his family and he's the leader. And Gar is one of your best friends. The two of them won't let anything happen to you if they can stop it. He knows you taking off had nothing to do with Gar and after last night, Jason thinks Gar would try to actually stop you if it happens again.

Jason's jaw squares, reluctant to say it again. "I'm serious. You got fucking shot." Jason quips.

"Okay." You agree softly, knowing if Jason is asking you to listen to anyone, you should probably take the advice. It always means Jason is very worried and serious. Two things that are a bit unsettling. "I will, promise." You smile softly before pressing your forehead to his for a second. "Now, go, okay? I'll be fine."

Jason nods his head, pulling away and dropping his hand. "I'll call when I find something out." Jason offers one last nod before he turns and darts out of the room.

Jason heads out to an old mechanic shop to meet up with Crane and for the life of him, he has no idea why he's even agreed to this. The only thing he wants to do right about now is kill Crane. He wants to fight him and shoot him and cause him horrendous pain for what he's put you through. He could have killed you and Jason swore no one would ever get away with it. But, now he has to walk in here and pretend he's not pissed about it. He's a good liar, but he doesn't know if he'll actually be able to withhold his blooming hatred.

When Jason meets with Crane, Crane seems to be acting perfectly normal, seemingly believing Jason will always be on his side no matter what. It's something Jason finds to be interesting because he already knew Crane was arrogant. But, he didn't think he was arrogant enough to think Jason would just be perfectly fine with him after being drugged, tricked, lied to, and used. He just shot Tim, possibly ruining his chances of actually going home. He could have killed you. Jason already threatened Crane but Crane seems perfectly fine with everything and Jason's wondering if that's because he agreed to meet.

"You could have fucking killed her." Jason starts with gritted teeth as they walk into the car garage.

"Yeah...sorry about that." Crane says casually. "She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sometimes, there are necessary casualties."

Crane is confident in his ability to manipulate Jason. Crane didn't have a single thing on the kid and Jason still spilled everything about Batman and the Titans. It was easy. It might become more difficult right now, but Crane is confident they'll overcome the current hurdle. After all, for the time being, Crane does still need Jason for his own disposal.

Jason wants to explode right here and take Crane out with him. A necessary causality? That's how you and Tim are being referred to? There is no such thing as a necessary causality when it comes to innocent people. Innocent people don't have to die. They don't have to be hurt. It was a choice Crane made in order to get you out of the way. To show Jason Crane is the one still running the show. And Jason has to stand here and pretend like this is all fine and lie. He's ready for this whole thing to be done and over with.

"You were right anyway." Jason sucks up his pride and do as you tell him. For that alone, Jason should get to kill him after this. "She was going to turn me in. It was all a setup, that's why she was even there."

Crane seems to perk up with Jason's words and he's hoping Crane believes him. "I did tell you she couldn't be trusted. That must be so hard to handle right now. But, see, now you know who has your back." Crane offers an eery smile. "Do I need to finish the job now?" Crane asks bluntly and he is definitely asking to gauge Jason's reaction. He doesn't miss the way Jason's hands turn into fists at his sides with his knuckles turning white.

"No." Jason states. "I'll do it." He states simply, releasing his hands.

"Good. Then you'll have nothing to worry about." Crane pats Jason's shoulder and Jason is ready to change the subject. He hopes that'll be enough bait for now.

"What the fuck is this?" Jason asks, switching the conversation as he looks around.

"This is where the victors go to rest their weary heads." Crane says.

"We didn't win." Jason argues. "They were gonna take me back but you fucked it all up." Sure, Crane did manage to poison the water but from where Jason is standing, it doesn't seem like too many people have been affected and with the alert going out, less people will likely drink the water. They didn't win anything.

"So you had a moment." Crane states simply, completely unbothered. "I've had plenty of them myself. Let bygones by bygones. I forgive you." Crane says before he pulls the cover off a yellow sports car. He lets out a sigh, as if to be pleased by the vehicle. "Sprezzatara."

Jason just rolls his eyes before he leans against the car, resting his back against the A frame. He's annoyed and he wants to get out of here. The hell if Crane forgiving him for? As far as Jason is concerned, he thinks getting him drugged was payback enough for him dealing the drug out behind his back. And Crane seems to be growing a little annoyed with him, too as he lets out a sigh before closing the garage door using the button hanging from a cable.

"Show some respect." Crane says sternly. "Sit." Crane depends, lightly gesturing towards a chair in front of a desk with a computer.

Jason does as told, sitting down and slouching in his seat.

"You know who Edward Bernays is?" Crane asks.

"The sauce guy?" Jason questions.

"Eggs and bacon." Crane says, taking a seat beside Jason. "Classic American breakfast. Do you know why?"

"What's this have to do with--"

"Pork farmers paid Edward Bernays to make it so. See, but Edward Bernays, he had this...this uncle, right? Dear old Uncle Sigmund. As in Sigmund Freud. See, and Freud taught Edward Bernays how the human mind worked. And Edward, he worked the human mind. He didn't sell the proletariat bacon. He sold them the idea that a hearty breakfast was what every doctor thought was best for them. After that, the bacon, it sold itself. Edward Bernays understood that an idea is the most powerful weapon we have." Crane explains before he swivels in his chair to face the computer, Jason eying him carefully and he's getting a really bad feeling about all of this. "It's not the product, it's how you sell it." Crane says as he brings up footage of Nightwing fighting some bad guys and Crane is in some type of editing software. "And Gotham is in need of a new product. We now interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you a message for the good people of Gotham.

Jason leans forward as the video starts to play, Crane already having sent it out as alert to every person in Gotham City.

Oh no.

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Tag list: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmess // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @stainedstardom // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao // @somehow-lovable-trash // @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover // @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @ginger24880 // @septixtrash // @kplatzman // @urmomsgayforme5 // @killxz // @lovefks

#jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #red hood x reader #red hood x you #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #titans fanfic #titans fanfiction #dc fanfic #dc fanfiction #petrichor

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stardust-sunset · 3 months

Note

You asked for Curtis bros and you shall receive 🤭

-Chronically bad vision. All of them. And I think it goes " Ignores it->Contacts-Glasses" in that order (Oldest to youngest)

-They all enjoy different types of art, and will support eachother constantly in the matter. I also believe it goes painting/sewing->doodling/drawing->Writing (same order)

-Ponyboy makes good money when he's older and is able to send Darry into a very early retirement 🥲

-Darry gets a father's day breakfast in bed every year. Even if he isn't their father, they want to appreciate him in some way+ also honor the tradition they had with their actual dad when he was alive.

-Whenever Darry shows up to parent/teacher meetings or just any school event he gets hit on by all the moms, and Ponyboy is absolutely MORTIFIED. Darry thinks it's funny and sometimes he plays into it a little. Just to irk pony more.

-Introvert(good with people)->Extrovert(Bad with people)->Ambivert. (same order)

-I like to think Soda introduced Dally to the gang, and that both Pony and Darry thought they were dating, and were like "It's alright if you...ya know. but..him?" Soda had to defend his life against these allegations but everyone ended up liking salt a whole lot anyway.

-The Curtis Brothers have "family meetings" where it's just the three of them sitting around a table and complaining about each other for like twenty minutes straight 😭 sometimes other members of gang will be there and when they try to speak during the meeting, all three of the brothers will turn on them.

-Soda spent two whole days being consoled and comforted because he was crying over some dumb broad(it was Steve) and I think both Darry and Ponyboy knew this but to make Soda feel better they'd just stick with the lie.

-Darry can cook, and Ponyboy can bake and soda does a damn good job with the dishes so sometimes when they're all feeling up for it, meals are heavenly. Dinner, then dessert, then a movie.

-They're all super competitive, so everything's a competition. Who can brush their teeth the fastest, who can finish their meals faster, who can get to the car first.

-Ponyboy loves books and reading, as we've come to learn, so his optimal gift for any holiday or event is just books. His Christmas list? Books he wants. He enjoys this because it's inexpensive, good entertainment, easily attainable, and something he actually enjoys.

-When soda and Darry were little(Pony was just a baby) they would blame everything on pony 😭 stuff on the wall? How'd pony get a marker? A mess in the kitchen? Who left pony alone? This backfired once pony was old enough to speak and started rating them out for every conceivable thing they could do, even when they werent doing anything wrong. "Mama, Darry got himself a glass of water." "Mama, Sodas coloring. What? No not on the wall. Just in his notebook but,"

-Never Cries->Cries over everything->Cries when it matters(Same order)

-If Darry comes home after a hard day and Pony and Soda knew it was a hard day, sometimes there will be a bath drawn and a nice clean house and a half-decent dinner on the table. They really care about him but it's so hard to show it.

-Thats all. Have a nice day :')

(nearly accidentally posted this w/out anything attached NO)

but OHHH YES-i ate this upppp thank you!

the three definitely make everything a competition, they totally do. they’re just boys lmao also pony with glasses UGHHHH I NEED TO DRAW ITTT-y’all need to stop diving me art ideas (don’t it’s actually really fun and keeps art block away-but also i love how the fandom just agrees soda is a huge crybaby-them blaming everything on baby pony is so real, pony doesn’t even know how to write and soda has clear ink on his hands from drawing on the walls and all fingers go to pony who’s probably sitting there drooling on himself because he’s 1 😭 also the moms fully being 20-30+ his. senior is so funny to me because they’ll ask for his age and he’s like ‘i’m 20’ and they’re like 😨”-also them being artsy AHH-you’re gonna make me fall more in love with those dumbasses

these are incredible in my gosh-thank youuuu!! if anyone else has any hcs they wanna share my inbox is WIDE open!

#especially for sick gifs i’m CRAVING #the outsiders #ponyboy curtis #sodapop curtis #darry curtis

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fennecfiree · 3 months

Text

Why do I see so many people hating on chubby Kyle and saying it doesn’t make any sense? They say, “He's fatphobic! He makes fun of Cartman for being fat! He can't be chubby!” But then they go on and headcanon Stan as being chubby, even though there's more proof of Kyle being chubbier when he's a kid than Stan. (I'm aware post-COVID Stan is chubby, but I'm talking about the kids.)

The same people who tell me my headcanon makes zero sense and that I “made it out of nowhere” (which I didn't—even if I did, why does that matter?) say chubby Stan is so canon, and it makes sense. When your excuse is “Kyle makes fun of Cartman for being fat!”—uhm, Stan does too? What the hell. Can you just let me headcanon something without trying to find something wrong with it? If you don’t like my headcanon, leave me alone. It’s my comfort headcanon. It makes me happy.

“Kyle's probably really buff, though, because he plays basketball.” Stan plays baseball? But you use all this stuff to prove me wrong. Let people have fun. And yes, I do have proof for Kyle being chubby. If you can’t let me have fun with a headcanon, leave me alone and block me. Here’s my PERSONAL proof for MYSELF (you dont have to agree, this is shit that makes it more real to me), so you all can stop saying I made it up from nothing.

And no, i dont headcanon Kyle as taller, then that would mean his height would be why he weighs almost as much as Kyle. I hc him as short.

Btw, this isn't hate for the chubby Stan headcanon. I would feel the same way if someone was being an asshole to people for headcanoning that. I'm just pissed about this. Just let people have fun. wtf. i only hate a hc if it's stereotyping, just weird, or some shit like that.

i just think ppl should stop attacking ppl for harmless headcanons in general.

I am aware that being weak and non-athletic is a stereotype, but I don't portray him like that in my AU. I don't make him weak or unable to defend himself. I understand he's strong, but I just don't make him the strongest in the class. I feel like he's the third strongest. He's not weak at all, and he is athletic. I headcanon him as a jock.

"Well, then how is he chubby?" Chubby people can be strong and athletic. I don't have any negative intentions behind this.

I like adding my personal insecurities onto characters.

There's actual evidence to support this headcanon.

If you don't like it, just leave me alone and block me. It's my comfort hc, and I'm really attached to it. Don't harass me for a headcanon.

Also, why do people think that when I say 'twink Kyle,' I mean the regular Canon Kyle? What the fuck… I'm referring to him being sexualized and people making him into A TWINK. LMAO and making him not able to defend himself.

I swear to God, if you don't like it, leave me alone. Don't harass me over a fucking headcanon. That's really weird. I'm 13, just go away. I'm seriously considering leaving Tumblr because you guys can't handle a fucking headcanon. i don't want to be in fucking drama OVER MY HEADCANON.

#kolbies random thoughts #sorry it just makes no sense and im pissed about it #just leave me alone #i hate this fandom #dont be afraid to block me if u dont like my hc #south park #southpark #sp #south park fandom #rant #fandom rant #ill post this when im not a pussy lol

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lace-coffin · 9 months

Note

Hi, I hope you're doing well, but can I request a headcanon where Bubba had a bad day and was a little sad and S/O starts giving him kisses and hugs to make him feel better. I like your blog so much!

Thank you so much for your sweet words! I’m glad your enjoying my stuff < 3

Reader comforting Bubba on a bad day

Gn!Reader x Bubba Sawyer

Requests are open!

You can see it in the way her shoulders sag like the weight of the world is being held on them, more out of it than usual and despondent. Even people as upbeat as bubba have bad days.

Unsurprisingly being the main bread (or meat lmao) winner for the family can be a big job, mentally and physically. He knows he’s doing it for his family, they need to eat, it’s not optional with the limited resources they have but..sometimes it’s so hard to disconnect from the people they kill. despite only being meat to the sawyer’s, bubba knows that they’re a loved to someone else, a sister, a mother, a new dad maybe.

They understand the weight of loosing a loved one, the entire family essentially falling apart at the seams when nubbins passed. It makes her sick knowing she’s responsible for the same heartache she’s experienced first hand. But is it truly her fault? Without him providing food his family will starve and he can’t bare to loose anyone else.

On days like these it’s best to keep her distracted, play games with the family if you can convince Drayton to begrudgingly join in. (He’ll do it for bubba but won’t admit it) preparing meals for him is a good idea, she’s unable to even look at the meat knowing the origin of it when she’s feeling like this. Try to make dinner more vegetable based on these days, you can even harvest the vegetables from the garden as an activity to take her mind off it. Don’t let chop help though unless you want to watch him throw dirt at his little sibling. He’ll clear off if you threaten to put an earthworm in his plate lol.

Insist on helping them with the dishes in the evening, dancing stupidly to music on the old crackly radio as you scrub. Thank him for his help and place little kisses on his cheeks, basking in his warmth like you’re the only two people in the world. safe in the sanctuary of the kitchen.

This regularly leads to clumsily slow dancing to unfitting music on whatever station you found first. Neither of you actually know how to slow dance, more just leaning into eachother and waddling side to side but you don’t care enough to learn, just happy to be held.

Eventually it’s time for bed, both of you exhausted, you from doing the brunt of the housework and bubba carrying that post depression exhaustion. Undoing the mask comes next, it’s not an easy feat. Bubba isn’t sure whether she feels more or less herself in the mask, unable to express herself without but bound to one expression in.

Gently pry the mask off and sit in front of the mirror with them, walk them through your favourite parts. Trace the bump of his nose, slightly crooked from a tussle with a victim, never quite healing right. Cup his warm full cheeks and dust them with kisses and praise. Tease your thumb over her plump lips, tell her they remind you of a cherub, sent from heaven just for you.

If you can love bubba than there must be something worth loving about himself, he thinks.

Being the big spoon is a good idea in these moments, let them feel small and protected under you, tracing over their curves and freckles gently, making them whine and shiver. She’ll never completely forgive herself for the things she’s done but it helps that you see beauty in her, the love, the compassion, the emotion. She just wishes she could see those things in herself on hard days.

For now this is enough, the coziness of your body blending into his until it’s unidentifiable where you begin and bubba ends. In some ways it already feels like you’re becoming part of eachother the longer you bond and the deeper you fall. You fall asleep after whispering a hushed “I love you” into their hair and receiving bubba’s sleepy equivalent of the same. Today was tiresome but the sun will rise again over the homestead, bathing the two of you in warm light and readying you for another day in eachother arms.

#slashers #slasher x reader #slasher headcanons #bubba sawyer #bubba saywer x reader #writing #my writing #slasher horror #slasher fucker #slasher hcs

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woman-of-balnain · 2 years

Text

The Claim Part 5/5 (Alpha Rick x Omega Reader)

Previous Part | Collection Masterlist | AO3 Ver. | Next Work

Pairing: Rick Grimes/Fem!Reader

Summary: Now that your heat has arrived, Rick fully claims you as his.

A/N: Okay, here is the final part. Happy Valentine’s Day lmao.

First thing: I forgot to add earlier that this part will involve breeding kink elements from both Rick and the Reader. Sorry, I added it on the ao3 version but not here. So if that’s not your thing, don’t read.

This is like the size of two normal parts lol and out of the roughly 8k words, approx. 7k is smut 😅

The last bit is just some plot to wrap the story up. I feel like that bit is a little too short, so I might extend it later.

I’ve given it one read over before posting but it’s so damn long and there might still be some typos and/or errors. Hopefully nothing major.

Lastly, I do plan to write some more stuff with this particular Rick/Reader pairing, exploring some other stuff that will take place later in twd series. If you have any requests for them lmk.

Anyway, enjoy 😏

Warnings: Rick has A LOT of stamina, multiple male orgasms, multiple female orgasms, multiple creampies, shower sex, doggstyle, cowgirl, oral sex (male and female receiving), mentions of tasting blood (from claiming bites), deepthroating

Word Count: 8,308

Dividers by: @newlips + @cafekitsune

Rick and Glenn had found a small and abandoned hunting cabin, that sat secluded in the woods. With your mind addled and hazed from your heat, you barely took notice of the setup, but your inner omega was happy to see that they’d established a perimeter with empty cans and bottles that would make noise to alert Rick if any walkers came too close.

Your alpha didn’t waste any time once you arrived. Rick threw you down onto the bed, his hands instantly falling to the waistband of his pants once you were laying down in front of him. You watched with a hungry gaze as he unbuckled his belt, your slick pooling between your legs with anticipation.

“You think this is a show, ‘mega?” He growled out, still angry from seeing you taking comfort in Daryl. “Clothes off. Now.”

He pulled the belt away from his jeans, flinging it off to the side, but not before unsheathing the knife he kept holstered on it. Despite the way your heated skin made your clothes feel like they were scratching uncomfortably against you, every fiber of your being was so entranced by him that your hands fumbled clumsily with your dress, not wanting to take your attention off him.

Rick was much more calculated and composed in his movements, eyes watching you intensely as he slowly unbuttoned his shirt. When he’d gotten rid of that too, and you had still made no progress in getting rid of your own clothing, Rick came onto the bed, moving on top of you and caging your body beneath his.

“These damned dresses,” he muttered with a mix of annoyance and appreciation.

He moved one hand down over your chest and then your stomach before he bunched up the skirt of the short summer dress, revealing your clothed pussy. You were soaking wet, causing the material of your white panties to be practically transparent. Rick glided two of his long fingers over you, teasing your clit, which caused your back to arch and your hips to buck with desperate need.

“Please, Alpha…” you whined, unable to wait any longer.

Rick’s gaze was dark and fiery, showing that he was just as eager, but he still had a lot more control than you did. When he raised the knife still held in his other hand, pointing it down at you, logically you should have been scared.

But you knew that Rick wouldn’t hurt you, and the deep lust in his gaze reassured you of that fact. He brought the blade down slowly, applying just enough pressure to the material of your dress to cut into it and give him an opening.

He flung the knife off carelessly after that, letting it clang onto the floor somewhere across the room. His hands were all over you then, as he tore your dress apart, desperate to explore the skin it concealed underneath. His gaze only grew impossibly darker when he saw that you weren’t wearing a bra.

“Naughty girl,” he chastised you heatedly, his hands moving to squeeze your now exposed breasts.

“Oh god,” you moaned, eyes fluttering shut.

His fingers teased your nipples, tugging and stroking them until they were achingly hard. Then you let out a salacious moan as Rick’s head dipped, taking one of the sensitive peaks between his lips, his tongue and teeth tormenting you further.

Your hips bucked again, and he moved his free hand between your legs, right where you were desperate to be touched. Rick’s attention on your breasts never faltered as his fingers pushed your panties to the side, giving him access to your dripping wet pussy.

He thrust two fingers into you, sliding in easily due to the amount of slick there. Your body moved wildly, the heat inside of you driving you crazy and sweat coating every inch of your skin. You were desperate for release, felt like you needed it, and Rick was quickly getting you there.

But then his mood darkened as he pushed his fingers in a little more roughly, while his other hand and his teeth tugged hard on your nipples.

“You were curled up to another alpha,” he pointed out angrily, pulling back to look you in the eye. “While you were this wet, Omega.”

“I… I’m sorry,” you cried out, not wanting him to be mad. “I needed you so badly and you weren’t there…”

“You’re mine,” he reminded you possessively. “This body, this pussy… everything about you is mine.”

“Yes,” you moaned out instantly, agreeing wholeheartedly. “I’m yours.”

Rick pressed his body closer to yours, his bare chest coming into contact with your heated skin. His nipples brushed against yours, teasing you both and his eyes fluttered shut with a groan. He rested his forehead against your own, his warm breath fanning out over your lips as his fingers continued their rapid thrusting in and out of your pussy.

“Show me,” he requested breathlessly, his thumb moving up to rub against your clit. “Cum for me, omega. Show me you’re mine.”

He curled his fingers inside of you, hitting that one perfect spot, while his thumb continued rubbing and flicking against your clit.

“Fuck,” you whined. “Rick, I… I’m…”

“Let go, baby,” he murmured soothingly, rubbing his cheek affectionately against yours.

He pressed down hard against your clit and your body gave him exactly what he wanted. You felt the waves of pleasure overcome you, your eyes squeezing shut and your mouth falling open as a deep moan escaped your lips.

“Good girl,” he praised, loving the way you tightened around him.

You saw stars and your mind was in a state of euphoric bliss. Rick trailed kisses along your scent gland while his fingers continued to stimulate you, waiting patiently for you to come down from your high.

When your eyes lazily fluttered open again and your body settled, you found Rick gazing at you with a mix of emotions. There was still that dark and heated lust in his eyes, but there was also deep care and affection and you thought, that due to the intensity of it, maybe it could have been akin to love.

He didn’t give you much time to ponder over it though, because he quickly bent his head down and captured your lips in a searing kiss. The burning feeling of your heat had settled temporarily thanks to your orgasm, so you let yourself enjoy the feel of his mouth languidly caressing yours.

Rick gently pulled his fingers from your pussy, allowing both of his hands to tease your inner thighs. He alternated between squeezing you possessively, his fingers digging into your skin, and lightly caressing you, leaving trails of goosebumps in the wake of his touch.

His lips, the bottom one so much fuller than the other, enticed your own with their slow and calculated movements. His tongue moved in perfect harmony with your own, leaving you breathless.

Eventually, his head pulled back and you tried to lift yours too, chasing his mouth to continue the heated kiss. But Rick just bit down on your lower lip, gently tugging on it before he completely moved away, leaning back to take you in with his lustful gaze. The effects of your heat were building up again, demanding more.

“Rick,” you moaned out. “Please, Alpha, I need you.”

His eyes fell to the apex of your thighs and his fingers tugged a little at your panties before his impatience won over. Pulling his hands away from you, Rick moved them to his jeans, quickly unbuttoning them and pulling down the zipper before tugging them down his hips.

Then his hands were back on you, pushing your panties further to the side so that your pussy was exposed enough for him. Not wasting a second, Rick pushed forward and thrust into you deeply, almost to the hilt and causing you both to let out desperate moans.

“Damn it, Omega,” he grit out in pleasure. “You’re so tight, squeezing down on me perfectly.”

As if in response to his words, your pussy clamped down even harder on his cock, causing his hands to reach for your hips instinctively, gripping them tightly. He kept his hold on you, using it for leverage as he pounded into you over and over and over again, setting a brutal pace.

“You’re not…” he got out between his thrusts. “Ever gonna… even look… at another alpha… again.”

He said it like it was a promise, as though he intended to imprint himself somehow on your body so that you were constantly reminded of him. Apparently, he didn’t realize that he’d already pretty much done so.

“I only want you,” was your response, promising him exactly what he wanted.

Rick leaned down, kissing you hard. The change in his angle caused him to move deeper and his cock brushed against that bundle of nerves inside you again. You gasped and moaned into his mouth, hips thrashing wildly in desperate need.

He kept you steady with the hold he still had on you, stopping you from thrusting your hips so high that he would slip out. Instead, he ensured that you felt every inch of his bare cock, the silky texture of the skin brushing against your sensitive walls and driving you closer and closer to the edge.

He never let up in his forceful thrusts, fucking you hard, deep and fast, until your thoughts drifted away into a mindless haze and the only thing left was Rick and how he made you feel. All the while he kept kissing you, lips claiming yours possessively until yours were swollen and bruised and aching for more.

With each push into your pussy, the sweat-slicked skin and light hairs on his pelvis brushed against your clit and stimulated you further. You were clinging to his back, nails digging into his skin, but Rick didn’t seem to care.

Finally, his lips left yours and your eyes opened to see his own lost in a state of ecstasy. He was just as close to cumming as you were, if not closer.

“’m gonna fill you up, sweetheart,” he promised in a daze, one of his hands moving to rest on your lower stomach. “Fuck my cum into you until your belly’s swollen with my child.”

“Oh god, Rick,” you moaned with an eagerness you’d never felt before.

“Gonna make sure everyone knows you’re mine,” he continued heatedly, head dipping again to kiss along your neck.

You nodded fervently, loving the sound of everything he said, but you doubted he noticed, since he was preoccupied by lavishing your scent gland with attention. Rick gave a few more deep and forceful thrusts before the head of his cock hit your cervix and he groaned out desperately.

His fingers dug into your waist, holding you steady as he came deep inside of you. The warm feel of his cum filling you up and the way his cock throbbed against your tight walls sent you over the edge. You spasmed around him, pussy clenching him even tighter, milking him completely.

Rick’s teeth grazed against your scent gland, and you tilted your head obediently, offering yourself for him to claim you. But then he pulled his head away and you let out a whine of frustration, not understanding his reluctance.

His gaze was still addled with lust, but there was an underlying sadness in his eyes that you couldn’t comprehend. When your legs wrapped tighter around him and you squeezed around his cock again, he lowered his head to your shoulder, biting down hard.

It wasn’t where you wanted or needed him, but the shock of his teeth piercing into your skin and the fact he was still thrusting deeply into you, albeit more slowly, sent you over the edge yet again.

It was like a second wave of your first orgasm, with the intensity becoming even greater. It was enough for you to lose yourself again, forgetting about your disappointment for a moment and just enjoying the feel of Rick completely surrounding you.

As your bodies settled, his tongue soothed the bite he’d left on your shoulder and his fingers caressed along the feverish skin of your stomach and waist. Your breaths calmed and you sunk back into the mattress and then he was pulling out of you slowly, careful not to cause any more friction.

You absentmindedly noticed that he was still completely hard, but your body was spent, and your eyes were droopy, telling you both that you needed some rest. The mixed fluids of his cum and your slick pooled out warmly between your thighs, but you paid it little mind.

Instead, you turned tiredly on your side and snuggled up into the sheets. Rick moved behind you, his body fitting against yours like you were two pieces of a puzzle, and he wrapped an arm around your waist.

“Get some rest, ‘mega,” he murmured, nuzzling affectionately into your neck. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

That wasn’t your concern, though. You were upset about him not claiming you, despite the way he was so insistent that you were his. Still, your exhaustion won out for the time being, so you let your eyes fall closed and your body relax against him.

You’d sort it out later. For now, you just wanted to bask in the afterglow and the warm feel of his body protectively pressed against yours.

When you woke up again, the first thing you noticed was how you were even more feverish than earlier. It was unbearable in a way you’d never experienced before. Your skin felt like it was on fire, as though there was a raging inferno inside of you that couldn’t be soothed.

Your sweat soaked into the sheets and your fever made you feel slightly delirious, like a haze was clouding your mind. You couldn’t think, only feel and when the fog of sleep finally left, you felt nothing else but Rick and the desperate state of your heat.

You were on your back now, legs spread wide with Rick’s head buried between them. His hands were gripping your inner thighs, holding you steady while his tongue gave slow, languid licks along your pussy.

“Alpha…” you moaned, fingers tugging lightly on his hair.

The scruff of his beard scratched along your thighs, and you felt his lips curl into a smile against your wet folds. He flicked his tongue back and forth over your clit, his lips sucking down at the same time and sending you into a frenzy.

He already seemed to know your body well and as your pussy clenched, aching for something inside of it, Rick moved his tongue down and away from your clit. His tongue pushed into your dripping core right as his nose brushed against your sensitive nub.

He fucked you with his tongue, lapping up your slick while his hands squeezed your thighs in a vice-like grip. His hold on you was strong and a little painful, but the way he was showering your pussy with attention made any discomfort fade away.

Then, Rick moved up again, bringing his mouth back to your clit and his fingers plunged into you instead. He moved them at a quick pace, in and out, curling up with each thrust to stimulate your inner bundle of nerves.

All the while his tongue stroked against you and then he let out a deep, guttural moan. You were already a squirming, lust addled mess, but when the vibrations reverberating from his throat pulsed against your pussy, the extra simulation made you cum like never before.

“Rick…” you moaned out in a complete daze.

You repeated his name like a mantra, over and over as your body sang with its release. He just kept licking and sucking and fucking you with his fingers until the wild movements of your hips became too frantic and he pulled away.

He was grinning at you, his gaze heated and devilish, promising that he wasn’t anywhere near done with you yet. As you settled, he moved up your body until his face was just above yours and then he brought his lips to your own in a slow and sensual kiss.

His tongue moved with precision against yours, reminiscent of what he’d just been doing between your legs, and it made desire pool deep in your belly all over again. Your arms were wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer until his cock was pushing against your entrance.

“Not yet, ‘mega,” he groaned out, breaking the kiss and rubbing his cheek against yours, scenting you.

“Please,” you begged, fingers moving down to scratch lightly along his back.

“You’ve gotta eat first,” he pulled back completely. “You need to drink some water too. I promised I’d take care of you, ‘mega.”

You were breathing heavily, and you wanted nothing more than to have his cock back inside of you. But your heat was also a little more sated after your last orgasm but that wouldn’t last for very long. So, you relented, sitting up and nodding.

Rick sat on the edge of the bed, reaching over for his backpack and taking out some of the food and water he’d managed to salvage while you’d all been on the road. You took the water first, taking long sips and letting the cool liquid soothe you.

His fingers traced light patterns along your legs as he bit into a granola bar, needing to keep up his own strength as well. As your mind cleared, you remembered the bite he’d placed on your shoulder and decided that you needed to ask him about it.

Remembering his marriage and how he and Lori had never claimed one another, you wondered if he had some kind of aversion to it.

“Rick?”

“Hmm?” He looked over at you with a lazy but affectionate smile.

You didn’t want to tiptoe around it, so you just asked him outright.

“Why didn’t you claim me?”

He coughed, like he hadn’t swallowed his last bite properly and looked away from you again.

“You wanted me to.”

It was a statement, showing that he had known what you wanted and despite that knowledge, along with all of his words and possessive actions, he still hadn’t done it.

“I still want you to,” you told him. “Don’t you?”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair and you watched him worriedly.

“Rick, I meant it every time I said it. I’m yours. But if you don’t want me to be, then –”

“I do,” he cut you off earnestly, finally looking at you again. “I just… can’t.”

“Why?” You asked, trepidation over your relationship washing over you. “Is… is it because of Lori?”

“No,” he assured you, taking your hands in his. “I mean that I really can’t. I… I tried, with Lori. It never lasted on either of us and I just… I didn’t want to disappoint you. I didn’t want it to push you away. I can’t lose you.”

His gaze held such raw emotion that you realized it was a deep-seated insecurity for him. It was something he’d been internally struggling with for a long time, and it must have been hard for him to open up to you about it.

Nevertheless, it was a lot to process. It made the breakdown of his marriage make a lot more sense, but that was the least of your concerns in that moment. Instead, you found it hard to come to terms with the fact that, from what he was saying, you would never be able to truly claim one another.

Maybe that was why he was so possessive and adamant about the fact that you belonged to him.

In the end though, it didn’t really matter to you. Sure, it wasn’t what you’d been expecting your relationship with him to turn out like, but everything with Rick, from the moment you’d met him had just felt right. Like fate or whatever the hell else meant for you to find each other and be together.

So, as you felt his scent change and his anxiety over your silence fill the room, you were determined to set his worried mind at ease. You got up, climbing into his lap so that you were facing him and stroked your fingers along the short and coarse hairs of his cheek affectionately.

“I don’t care,” you told him, your gaze holding his.

“Don’t lie,” he cast his eyes down, but never stopped touching you, holding you close.

You leant forward, placing soft kisses over his cheeks, his jawline and finally one on his lips before pulling back again.

“I’m not lying,” you insisted gently. “I want you, whatever that entails. And yes, I do want you to claim me, to bite into my gland over and over again if you have to. I don’t care if it doesn’t stick. I’m yours and I don’t want you to hold back.”

His eyes met yours with trepidation, his uncertainty clear. But he must have seen the sincerity in your own gaze because his expression softened, and he looked at you with so much adoration you thought you would melt right there in his arms.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes,” you promised him.

And then you brought your lips to his, sealing it with a kiss. You wanted to show him that your desire for him hadn’t wavered and that your words were honest. One of his hands seemed to automatically find one of your hips, keeping you close to him, while the other trailed up and down your back.

He deepened the kiss and lifted your hips a little. You knew what he wanted so your hand moved down and grasped around his cock, lining it up at your core and pushing back down. His lips left yours as his head fell back with a groan that was filled with lust.

You had more control in that position, and while he still gripped tightly onto your hips, you set the pace, grinding down onto him.

“Fuck, baby,” he breathed out, still lost in the ecstasy of it all. “You always feel so good for me.”

“Mmm,” you hummed in agreement, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “That’s ‘cause you fill me up so well.”

He started guiding your hips, while his own thrust up and into you, his movements a little more frantic. He’d still been rock hard when you fell asleep and was the same when you woke up. You wondered if his erection had gone down at all due to how desperately he seemed to ache for release.

He opened his eyes to look at you again and it was like he got lost in the sight of you, with the way you were grinding down onto him and squeezing around his cock. He reached up to tuck some hair behind your ear and his thumb brushed against your cheek.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, gaze still transfixed on you.

Your cheeks heated up in a faint blush and you looked away, shy from the intense look he was giving you.

“Hey, don’t do that,” he took hold of your chin, bringing your gaze back to his. “I mean it. Don’t hide from me, sweetheart.”

You nodded, biting down on your lip, and allowing yourself to get lost in his piercing blue eyes. It was raw and unyielding, the range of emotions in his gaze and you hoped that your own was conveying the same back to him.

“I can’t hold back much longer,” he admitted softly.

“I don’t want you to,” was your honest reply.

He moaned at your admission before flipping your bodies over so that you were on your back again and he was hovering over you. Rick took hold of your waist, making sure he had a steady grip on you before he thrust out nearly all the way and then pounded back into you, right to the hilt. You both let out desperate and guttural sounds at the feeling of him filling you up entirely once again.

He moved with precise thrusts, but his pace was quick and frenzied. You knew he was close, eager to cum inside you again, because it was clear through his expression and the way his body was tensed up with desire and anticipation.

You moved one hand down between your thighs, fingers finding your aching clit and your body reacted instantly to the added stimulation. Your pussy contracted down on his cock, squeezing and pushing him to the brink.

He was pushed right up against your cervix again, not enough for the pressure to be unpleasant, but enough for the insinuation of where his cum would go, to make you insanely turned on.

Rick looked wild, his blue eyes feral and barely holding onto control. He gave you one last look of trepidation and you just nodded before exposing your neck to him.

“Please, Alpha,” you begged, voice filled with desperate need.

That was enough to make his control snap and his head bent down with lightning speed before his teeth sunk into your neck and the first spurts of his cum filled your fertile womb. Simultaneously, he lapped up the warm blood that spilled from your throat and your pussy milked every last drop of his hot cum deep inside you.

The mixed stimulation all throughout your body made another orgasm crash over you like a tidal wave. You were clenching down so hard around his cock that you thought it might be painful for him, but Rick didn’t seem to mind. All of his attention seemed to be on your mating gland, soothing the sore skin like he was in a trance.

You realized, as your body settled and your orgasm calmed down, that suddenly you felt so perfectly whole. As though for your entire life you had been missing half of yourself until that moment. You weren’t as unbearably hot anymore and your unbearably fevered skin seemed to relax until it just felt like you were in a regular heat.

Rick’s fingertips glided over your lower stomach absentmindedly and as the blood flow from your neck slowed to a stop, he pressed countless kisses against the fresh mark. You didn’t care, in that moment, if he had to mark you time and time again. It felt too good and right to you, having his claim on your body.

When his slow and languid thrusts began to pick up again, you realized that he was still hard. You weren’t complaining though, because your body was clearly willing and eager for more. After what felt like hours but was likely only a couple of minutes, Rick peeled his lips away from your neck and pulled back to look at you.

“Feeling okay?” He asked, never once letting up in his powerful thrusts.

“No,” you grinned up at him, not missing the way he raised an eyebrow in question. “’Okay’ would be a severe understatement.”

He let out a light laugh, and you could tell he was relieved by it. Then you hooked one leg around his waist, pushing a little with your hips and he seemed to realize what you wanted. Rick flipped you both over, settling back into the bed and letting you adjust yourself above him.

You ground down on him again, circling your hips and reveling in the way he stretched you out and filled you up. With each time his cock thrust deep into you, it pushed his cum further inside. You could hear the sounds of your mixed fluids every time he entered you, and it was sinfully good.

You loved watching him stretched out beneath you, allowing you to fuck yourself on top of him and the way he was getting lost in the feel of you. His eyes were closed, his head thrown back against the pillows, and he was letting out quiet moans and groans, showing you what you were doing to him.

You leaned forward, entwining his fingers with yours to steady yourself before you moved your hips a little harder and faster, bouncing on top of his cock and making you both wild with desire.

“I wanna mark you,” you moaned out, still sliding up and down his hard and thick cock. “Please, Alpha, I need it. I need to claim you as mine too.”

His eyes snapped open, and he looked at you with hesitation again, just like he had before he claimed you. But then his gaze fell down to your neck, to your mating gland which must have still been swollen and red, with the possessive mark of his bite standing out and showing who you belonged to.

Once his eyes settled on that his features softened, and he looked back at you with a nod.

You didn’t hesitate then, your hands leaving his as you leaned down closer to him. Your fingers ran through his hair, and you nuzzled against his neck, rubbing your nose and cheek along his gland to scent him.

Rick gripped your hips, making sure your pace never faltered as your mouth worshiped the gland you were about to bite into so you could claim him as your own. You could hear his moans getting more frequent and desperate, his lips right beside your ear.

When he thrust deep into you, holding you tightly against him, you let your teeth sink into his skin.

“Fuck,” he groaned, his hips stuttering from the intensity of it all.

He came hard for the third time that day, stuffing you just as full as the other two times. He was insatiable, his stamina doing more than just rivaling anything you’d ever experienced. Trickles of his blood pooled into your mouth, the metallic taste filling your senses. Just like Rick had done, you licked and sucked against his gland, soothing the sensitive skin and attempting to stop the blood flow.

“Baby…” he breathed out, his voice betraying how turned on he was. “I can’t stop. You’re driving me crazy.”

As you continued to suck against the fresh mating bite you’d made on his neck, the blood slowed to a stop, and you pulled back. Shifting slightly, you realized he was still fully hard.

“Again?” You asked, a little incredulous, but no less enthused.

He didn’t answer, just lifted your hips until his cock slid out of you. You couldn’t stop the whine that escaped you at the empty feeling it caused. But then he was getting up and giving you a look that conveyed his deep-seated and still yet unsated lust.

“On your knees,” he ordered, moving behind you.

It was an alpha command, telling you exactly what he wanted. So, you lifted your body, holding yourself on all fours and presented yourself to him enthusiastically. He let out a low chuckle at your eagerness, but you knew that he was just as lost in his desire for you.

You choked on nothing but air when he thrust back into you, your fingers gripping the sheets beneath you tightly. It was the best kind of pain, with how tender your walls were but how good it felt, nonetheless. One of Rick’s hands sat on the small of your back, while the other moved up your spine, fingers tickling your skin until he grabbed hold of your hair, pulling your head back slightly.

“Alpha,” you moaned out, lost deep in the throes of the pleasure he was giving you.

“That’s it, baby,” he coaxed. “Let me hear you.”

“Fuck, I can’t take much more,” you cried out desperately. “But you feel so good.”

He gave a harder, more forceful thrust into you, making you whine with need.

“You love my cock, baby?” He demanded to know. “You need it?”

“Yes,” you moaned out. “I only need you.”

“That’s right,” he said, satisfied with your answer. “And I’m the only one that’s ever gonna know this tight, sweet pussy.”

“Mmm,” you agreed, nodding your head but unable to form anymore words.

“You want my cum again, ‘mega?” He asked. “Deep inside you?”

“Yes, Rick, please!”

The sound of his hips smacking against yours filled the small cabin, the continuous slapping together of sweaty skin a tell-tale sign of the illicit and sinful things he was doing to you. He let go of his grip on your hair, bringing his hands back to their familiar place on your hips and held you steady before he groaned and came once again.

Your upper body sank down into the bed as your own orgasm wracked through your body. Your pussy spasmed and your hips moved wildly, but Rick made sure to keep you wrapped around his cock, so that you were milking him dry for the fourth time that day.

You both stayed like that for a while, breaths panting, and bodies relaxed. Finally, you felt him soften inside you and as much as his relentless fucking had turned you on, you were glad for the sign of some respite. Rick slowly pulled out of you, and you let your lower body relax before turning onto your side.

He came to lay down as well, facing you and looking just as tired as you felt. He reached out to brush his fingers along your cheek, eyes already drooping before he dropped his hand to caress against your mating gland. The bite he’d left was sore and sensitive, but his touch didn’t irritate you.

You snuggled closer against him and then he wrapped him arms around you, laying on his back and resting your head on his chest. It wasn’t long before you both drifted back off to sleep, both of your bodies spent and sated for the time being.

The next time that the fog of sleep drifted away, and you woke up, you were still in Rick’s arms, and he was absentmindedly stroking his fingers up and down your back. Tilting your head to look up at him, you saw that he was deep in thought, his brow furrowed like something was bothering him.

“Hey,” you reached out, touching his cheek so he’d look at you. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just…” he trailed off, gaze falling to your mating gland. “Something feels different.”

You realized instantly that he was talking about the claim he’d left on you.

“Good or bad?” You asked, a little concerned.

“Good, I think,” his eyes returned to yours. “But I hate that it’s only temporary.”

“Rick,” you sighed. “It doesn’t matter. I already told you; I don’t care if we have to do it countless times. I’m yours, and you’re mine. Nothing can change that except us.”

He nodded but still seemed upset about it. You figured it was something you could come back to later though and watched as he moved to get up.

“You wanna shower?” He asked over his shoulder, changing the topic quickly.

“Desperately,” you sighed. “But that’s a luxury one can’t afford when the world ends.”

He moved a little more to face you again, lips turning up into a grin.

“This place is solar powered,” he explained, reaching out for one of your hands.

“You’re kidding,” you lit up at the revelation.

His smile just widened, and he squeezed your hand.

“Come on, baby, I’ll go with you.”

That just sweetened the deal. Warm, running water along with soap and shampoo was one thing, but showering with Rick? The symptoms of your heat began rising within you once again at the thought.

He led you to the small bathroom and maybe before civilization fell you would’ve lamented at the small, tight space of the shower. But such things were luxuries now and you couldn’t wait to feel the water trickling down your skin.

Neither one of you had clothes to worry about, so Rick turned the knobs of the shower and happiness filled you at the sight of hot, running water. It was a tight squeeze, but you stepped in beside him and he moved out of the way to let you enjoy the water first.

It was heaven; the feel of it running through your hair and down over your body. Rick picked up a bottle of body wash from the shelf and squirted some out onto his hands before lathering it up. One of his hands fell to your hip, rubbing the soap over your stomach and thighs, while the other squeezed one of your breasts.

“Rick…” you sighed happily, your head falling against the shower wall behind you.

His touch was gentle, teasing you a little but he still kept his primary goal as cleaning you of all the dirt and grime and the remnants of incredible sex. Your nipples hardened as his thumbs brushed over them and your pussy ached to be touched again.

But Rick stayed focused, scrubbing the soap along your body until it washed away, and you felt cleaner than you had in over a week. Then he turned you around, his fingers running through your wet hair and his nails scraping over your scalp. It was relaxing and his touch conveyed the deep care he held for you.

You didn’t notice him reach for the shampoo bottle, but when he massaged it into your hair your eyes closed in bliss. He was being so gentle and affectionate with you and your inner omega loved it.

Eventually, you turned to rinse out your hair and then Rick stepped underneath the water, and you were eager to return the favor. Your movements were less slow and had much more devious intentions behind them.

You ran your hands over the expanse of his chest, the lathered-up soap spreading across his skin. He watched through hooded eyes as you moved your touch down to his lower abdomen, fingers gliding softly over the light hairs there.

Then you got down on your knees, eager to have his long, thick cock in your mouth again. One of his hands moved to the back of your head, tangling in your hair, but he remained silent, waiting in anticipation for you to make your move.

You got him to break the silence that had settled around you when your lips wrapped around his hardened length and a deep groan of pleasure escaped his throat. His grip on your hair tightened and he thrust into your mouth, getting his cock deeper inside you.

A moan sounded deep in your throat, and you began bobbing your head up and down along his cock with enthusiasm, eager to taste his cum again. You sucked down on him and teased him with your tongue.

It gave you a deep sense of satisfaction to know you could make him come undone and when the movement of his hips faltered slightly and all you could hear was his desperate moaning, you knew that he was already close.

Using one hand to cup and tease his balls and the other to grab the back of his thigh and keep him close, you pushed your head down further, bringing the head of his cock to the back of your throat.

“Fuck… sweetheart…” he groaned, barely managing to get the words out.

You felt the full length of him pulsate as he pushed all the way in and then his cum was spurting down your tight throat. You took it all, relishing in the way he clung to you and kept your mouth wrapped around him.

When his hands eventually relaxed around your head and you were able to pull your mouth off him, you looked up at Rick with an amused smile.

“Really?” You asked, before giving another quick glance to his cock that was still right in front of your face.

You shouldn’t have been surprised by that point, over the fact that he was still rock hard. But his stamina amazed you. It wasn’t something you were complaining about though because your heat left you filled with just as much desire.

“Come here,” he said gently, lifting you up to stand.

He brought you close, so that your chests were pressed together, and he lifted a hand to gently stroke along your mating gland.

“You’re perfect,” he whispered softly, eyes filled with honesty. “You know that?”

“You’re perfect to me,” you answered, your own gaze soft and affectionate. “I know that much at least.”

He gave you a small smile and then his lips were on yours, now so familiar in the way they felt to you and the way they seemed to work expertly against your own. His desperate need from earlier had settled and now Rick seemed intent on lavishing you not only with pleasure, but with soft affection too.

He moved you back gently, until your body was resting against the wall of the shower and then he was lifting one of your legs, wrapping it around his waist.

“I need more,” he admitted against your lips, his length rubbing up and down your slit.

“It’s okay,” you told him breathlessly. “I do too.”

He pulled his hips back slightly and then he was back inside you, filling you up perfectly once again. Your pussy was still slightly sore from how many times he’d fucked you just on that day alone, but it was nothing compared to the sense of fulfillment he gave you as he moved his hips back and forth.

Rick was kissing you again, one hand tangled in your hair and the other squeezing your ass, keeping you close to him. His thrusts weren’t as fast or frantic; he fucked into you with precise and deep movements, taking the time to enjoy the way you felt around him.

It was loving and intimate, showing that he didn’t just see you as an omega to get through his rut with. He was proving to you that you meant more than that to him, and it made your emotions swirl with happiness and the sense of feeling truly content.

You clung tightly to him, one hand pressed against his back and the other at the nape of his neck. Rick trailed his lips down to your jawline, pressing kisses along your skin while he kept slowly fucking deep into you. Then, he moved down to your throat, and it wasn’t long before he sought out your mating gland.

He kissed along the bite mark he’d left, and then affectionately nuzzled against it. He was too lost in the haze of his rut and the feel of your pussy wrapped snugly around him to notice the change in your scent. The way it was perfectly mingled with his own and gave a clear message that you had been claimed. That you were his omega.

Without that realization, he kept lavishing the bite with attention and eventually his teeth scraped along it, teasing you to the edge.

“Rick…” you moaned, instinctively squeezing down even harder on him.

It was exactly the friction he needed, because then he was cumming deep inside your pussy and you loved the fact that it still felt just as good as when he’d first done it. The intensity of it seemed to be too much for him because he sank his teeth into your gland a second time, opening up the wound and claiming you all over again.

Your own orgasm ripped through you, and you clung even tighter to him, keeping his head buried against your neck. His lips and tongue soothed your agitated skin, and you slowly came back to yourself, the cool tiles of the shower wall behind you giving your body some relief from the heat you felt all over.

After a while, Rick’s lips left your throat, and he pulled back to look at you. His gaze was soft and tender, conveying the depths of his feelings for you. When his forehead fell down to rest against your own, you realized that he wasn’t done yet.

“You’re insatiable,” you quipped, squeezing down slightly on his still hardened length.

“I’m not the only one,” he retorted, his voice gruff but no less playful.

His lips captured yours once again and you let yourself get lost in him. If this was how all of your heats would be in the future, then there would be nothing left to complain about or dread. You briefly wondered why you’d been so worried over your inability to continue taking suppressants before your mind became clouded and all you could think of, yet again, was Rick.

Your heat was over after two days. It was the shorter than you’d expected, and you wondered, with a small, devious smile if Rick had fucked it out of you. His stamina never let up and by the end you were a sated, but exhausted mess.

Your dress was ruined, but Rick had packed some spare clothes and you returned to the rest of the group in one of his shirts and a pair of your own jeans. And he still seemed to have the need to touch you, to keep you close. You didn’t mind, but the way that the eyes of the others lingered on you both when you returned was a little disconcerting. Sure, heats and ruts were a natural part of the world, but that didn’t make it any less embarrassing.

Rick and Daryl exchanged a look and then a nod, silently conveying that Rick’s earlier display, when you had both gone into rut and heat, respectively, was forgiven and forgotten. Then, after you both came back, the whole group set out on the road again.

Two weeks had passed since then, and you often found yourself absentmindedly touching the claiming bite Rick had placed on your neck. Sometimes, your gaze would also linger on the one you left on him.

It was confusing, because neither of them had shown any sign of truly healing. They had healed to some degree, in the normal way, with the redness around them fading and the skin no longer feeling agitated. But they weren’t fading away and once you were both no longer distracted, you and Rick realized that your claims over one another had stuck, and you were truly mated to each other.

So, that was how you found yourselves talking to your father, with Rick asking if the older man might know what it meant. He was happy and relieved by it, but no less confused.

“I looked into it,” Hershel told Rick. “Before we lost the farm, like I said I would.”

You glanced between them, a little surprised by the fact that your father seemed to have known before you did about Rick’s inability to claim Lori and vice versa. But you stayed silent, interested in what he had to say.

“We have a book, in our family,” your father revealed. “It keeps a record of omegas and alphas in our line that mated with each other. Some omegas in our family tree mated differently than others, though.”

“What do you mean?” You asked.

You’d never heard of that book before, and you were surprised to only learn of its existence now.

“There are a few omegas in our ancestry where their bodies would reject attempts to claim them. The records that have been kept show that only a particular alpha, their true mate, could actually claim those omegas.”

“True mates?” Rick asked in disbelief. “That… that stuff’s just fairy tales, stories for kids. It’s not real.”

Hershel just gave him a look, one that conveyed his lack of amusement with Rick brushing off his words.

“The evidence is in the two of you,” he continued. “You weren’t able to share a true mating bond until now, Rick. You’re the only alpha able to command Y/N… I’m sure there are other signs I’m not aware of and that I don’t want to know about.”

Rick looked taken aback by your father’s words and you felt just as surprised.

“It doesn’t matter, in the end,” Hershel said, placing a hand on Rick’s shoulder. “You were able to claim each other. That’s all that matters.”

Rick just gave a nod, still a little stunned and then Hershel walked off, leaving you both alone. The idea left you feeling uneasy though, and you bit down on your bottom lip, looking off to the side.

“Hey, you okay?” Rick asked, reaching out to take your hand in his and picking up on the change in your mood instantly.

“Yeah, I just… it’s a lot,” you admitted. “I mean, what if the connection we felt before we claimed each other was just… some weird thing like fate that was pushing us together? I’ve never even considered true mates to actually be a real thing, so I don’t know how it’s supposed to work, but I just… I don’t want those feelings to be fake or forced… I don’t want the way I feel about you to not be real somehow…”

“Y/N,” he took hold of your chin gently and brought your gaze to his. “Whatever this is between us, however you want to label it, it’s real. I don’t know about all the other stuff, but I know how I feel about you. You don’t ever have to worry about that.”

His words caused relief to rush through you and you nodded, giving him a small smile. He returned it before pulling you closer to him and capturing your lips in a kiss. It was soft and affectionate, and his lips moved languidly against your own. All of your doubts left your mind and only one thing remained – the knowledge that you both belonged to one another, fully and irreversibly.

And with both of your mating bites sitting proudly on your necks, showing that you had claimed one another, there was no way for anyone to either doubt or deny it.

Next Work in this Series

Taglist:

@bking4000, @starsaroundmyscxrss (sorry but the tag wouldn’t work for one of you!

#rick grimes x reader #rick grimes/reader #rick grimes x f!reader #alpha rick grimes #alpha!rick grimes x omega!reader #omega reader #fem reader #rick grimes fanfic #rick grimes smut #twd smut #twd fanfic #the walking dead fanfic #rick grimes/you #rick grimes x you

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