#lmao just keep doing what i do maybe?
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putting this separately because i have a huge announcement…… i’m leaving this blog bye. adios.
LMAOAOAO yeah ik that’s in poor taste but i’m not actually leaving (explodes) despite this blog being an internal mess and the person behind the screen also being a mess <- me. but i do wanna thank everyone for getting me to 1k because,, listen i was happy enough being a small blog and then boom, next thing i know, i’m not a small blog anymore!! which yippee!! to my moots (mwah), to those who leave comments and rbs, and to those who follow me (ofc-), and everyone!!
also this is the last of one of these milestone posts because i bet it’s lwk getting annoying for everyone HELPP
again!! thank you!! more coming at you at 11 /j /lh
#peace.#……………………………………………………………………………………………#…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………#alright so i can mess around in the tags now#HELPP#i feel like i’m on cloud 9 rn fr fr#i’m FLOATING#YOU HEAR ME??#i don’t know what to do now tbh#lmao just keep doing what i do maybe?#and keep talking to my lovely moots ofc mwah mwah
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”So.. somebody forgot to mention it’s their birthday, huh.” 💚💛
#it’s marimo’s bday yay#roronoa zoro#black leg sanji#zosan#one piece#zoro#sanji#anniinart#sketches#lol these were supposed to be a part of a different story but who cares#and the art styles don’t even match hah I’m just enjoying drawing what ever atm#might draw this scene into a comic I had something more angsty in mind#also goddamn maybe I’ll need to use reference next time lmao how do beefy guys work zoro you’re too much for me#dude just keeps getting wider
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tfone au where OP is created as the last of the primes but way after them, a sparkling born at what were thought to be the last days of the war against the quintessons, the beginning of a new generation of peace after eons of war. a child meant to be loved and raised knowing nothing of war nor sacrifice.
he's kept mostly out of the spotlight by his siblings, who don't wish to expose him to everyone's optics so young, and want to wait until the war is done and over to properly introduce him to their people.
except of course the primes are betrayed and murdered by sentinel, the war is lost and everyone who knows and cared for the truth is either banished or outright killed in order to suppress it.
and the high guard, the ones the primes trusted the most, the ones that were supposed to protect them, the ones who failed in their most important duty, have to make a choice. to take the last prime, their last hope, with them to the surface, a hostile environment where there's little to no supplies and where they'll be hunted down by both sentinel and the quintessons as the biggest threat to their regimen.
or hide him in plain sight. place him where sentinel won't think to look for him. one more sparkling among many. and hope it will be enough to keep him alive. pray to primus that he'll protect his last child long enough for them to come back for him when it's safer (even if most of them have already lost their faith on him when he allowed the rest of his children to be massacred like that)
they almost lose their resolve when they realize they will have to take the little one's cog away in order to make him blend in with the rest of the newborns (and oh do they burn with murderous intent when they see what sentinel has done to their people but it's not the time yet-) but in the end they decide an impaired little prime is better than a dead one.
and so in the chaos of thirteen dead primes and a sudden energon crisis, a little sparkling who very few mechs really knew about and even fewer had seen completely vanishes. and in the depths of iacon a mech in charge of a new batch of newborns scratches their helm in confusion as they realize they must have miscounted the first time.
optimus prime is quietly erased from any official records by sentinel, written off as dead when they find a sparkling's frame mangled beyond recognition after an attack on the base of those rebels that insist on being a thorn on his side. killing the sparkling hadn't been precisely in his plans, he probably could've found some use for it after all, but he's not particularly upset about it either.
and orion pax grows up with an ache on his spark that tells him he's missing something far more important than a t-cog and dreams of gentle and loving hands, cradling him against the frames of mechs he cannot recall the faces of.
#i talk a lot <3#transformers#transformers one#tfone#optimus prime#orion pax#baby prime orion au#this is mostly an excuse for me to draw the primes and baby OP later on. just to be clear.#i WILL be drawing this at some point lmao#tbh i'm a little uncertain how i want things to progress#because on one hand it would be very tasty and tense if sentinel recognized optimus during the race#but that means a lot of changes very early on in the plot and i would have to do a lot of Thinking on how to justify getting the gang#to still pick up bee and elita. cause i love them <3#i do think it'd be very funny if the high guard's plan worked like a charm except for the very tiny fact that they didn't count#on orion being an absolute hellion. like. this kid is Not Going Unnoticed and it's completely his own fault lmao#in this version maybe a member of the high guard stayed behind to keep an eye on orion and is able to get them out before they're killed#but instead of taking them to where the primes fell they take them directly to the high guard#which is very awkward because it's a very moving and emotional moment for the high guard who are finally reunited with their little prime#all grown up and healthy and blessedly *alive*. except orion doesn't fucking remember any of them and is very confused as to why#the legendary warriors of cybertron are getting all weepy over him. they finally explain the truth to him which is a Fucking Bomb#to drop on anyone but especially a group of kids who almost got killed by the person they all thought the world of just hours ago#they also return orion's t-cog to him which would create some tension between him and the rest of the gang because this time#he's the only one getting his cog back. add to it that they were just told he's the equivalent of a demi-god and... well.#there's a gap between him and them that wasn't there before#on the other version of events that follows canon more closely everything goes the same up until the gang finds the primes in the cave#and wake up alpha trion who now not only has to deal with the fact the rest of his siblings are dead but that he missed fifty cycles#of his baby brother's life. that the only sibling he has left does not remember him or his true identity at all.#he has to choose between telling him the truth which has the risk of unbalancing him in a critical moment where he cannot afford to#be distracted because they're being hunted down. or let him remain unaware. let him forget their family and the love they had for him#but letting him remain free of the knowledge of what he lost and the heartbreak it would bring.
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testing out drawing maormer 🪸🐚🪸 and a nelvas 🧣📜🩷 i'll ramble about maormer a bit in the tags
#tes#skyrim#my art#do you like my nelvas emojis🧣📜🧣📜 get it? scarf🤗 and scroll🤗 Everything hurts sofucking bad#anyways i talked about them wif my friend quite a bit i basically 'agree' w/ everything that is written about them && their biology in -#- canon; except tes is very much all Talk and no good actual visual presentation of what it's talking about#cus all of the maormer look like garboooo likeee what am i looking @#but since this is just a first test i think i'll keep playing around with their looks later; they are most close to altmer obvi in the -#- sense of how 'mutated' they r. however maormer are more gross looking for the typical human#they do have flat faces and alldat in canon already but i want them to just have nostrils and no real nose bridge#and they have no lips😝 they also have very visible gums. && have anglerfish teeth#what would be fur on other mer is just scales on them and is placed is scattered in the same places#i was thinking of making swimming most comfortable for them so i gave them more fins#they'd have them on arms and legs and the hair on the tail for them is just a big fin🐠#as for hair i'm thinking of them having none of it at all bcos it looks sooooo ugly on them it's very unnerving to see hair on fish#either no hair at all or something with a different texture. like slimy silky thin seaweed#or the hair that m*necraft striders have LMAO#webbed fingers is cuuuute they'd have webbed armpits like they're those flying rodents🐿 lol#i'd place their gills on both the neck and their ribs#whenever they wear clothes they tie their arm and leg fins up ; i think from birth they just stay in water until they hit puberty and -#- r able to actually walk around#another cute fact is that males and females wud look literally the same almost (women are flat chested too)#fish fish fish#maybe i'll rethink some stuff. i still wanna draw fish babies#but in reality i think even the mere existence of maormer is very pointless bc they don't really matter at all do they#tes lore is soooo overstuffed that's why i don't know anything about it my time is so valuable to meLMFAOAOOO#saw a typo in this sorry i'm just chill like that
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me: *seeing people yell about how they did Glintshore & Percy's death in the show*
also me: ..................anyway
#maybe its because its been fuck knows how many years since i watched 90% of c1#but i actually find the way they're changing things up super fascinating#i have questions to be sure and i think they're all having so much fun watching people go THEY'RE NOT GONNA PERMAKILL PERCY ??#(they're obviously not going to leave percy dead)#but because so many things have been folded on top of each other to keep the pace in this several hundred hour campaign adaptation#idk! i just think it's neat! obviously we're not done with ripley yet so we'll see what happens there#also people being like “i didnt need a sad backstory for ripley” like that wasn't the most obvious vehicle to introduce the assembly#a lot of these scenes they're adding in or folding together are doing a LOT of work#the storytelling action economy is honestly astounding#like don't get me wrong i get why people are weirded out by it (i am too! It's strange!) BUT it's not being done carelessly#some of you lot just want everything done 1:1 when they simply do not have the time to be doing that#i think i might do a full write up of how impressive some of this is when the season ends bc it really is a mammoth task they've had#the legend of vox machina#tlovm#legend of vox machina#critical role#c1#vox machina#lvm spoilers#tlovm spoilers#edit: to be very clear. i have been here since the very beginning. don't fuck with me lmao
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perry with some words of wisdom in superman: lex 2000 ("just because this country is about to go to hell in a handbasket doesn't mean this newspaper does, too!") (and we are all the newspaper, really.)
#rereading superman: lex 2000 to cope tbh lmao#but like. deep breaths. the justin mcelroy tweet. im gonna keep doing what good i can and nobody can change that.#i will take today to wallow and be deeply dismayed and disheartened and take comfort in my friends.#and we will all keep trying to work towards a better future no matter what. bc i have to believe it's possible#but. enough of that soapbox im just going to read superman comics and sleep and then maybe play video game or write and call my besties#i can be a real person again later. for now. save me lois lane#rimi talks#clark#lois#jimmy#perry
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“You’re going to blow out your arms,” the villain observed. They watched as the hero merely grit their teeth, shoving themself through another pull-up. It looked painful, and if the sweat slicking the hero’s brow was any indication, it was.
They waited for the hero to let themself drop from the bar and accept the villain was stronger. But they didn’t.
Three more pull-ups, and the villain stepped in.
“Hero,” they said slowly. “You’re about to tear the ligaments in your arms. You need to stop.”
The hero blew out a shuddering breath. Struggled for purchase, fighting gravity—and let themself drop.
The hero’s hands were bleeding, calluses torn open by the bar. The hero didn’t seem bothered when their own hands shook so much that their blood began to splatter on the gym floor.
For a moment, the villain could only stare at them.
Shit.
They didn’t know how to handle this. They knew the hero was dedicated. They knew the hero was strong, and perpetually trying to be stronger, but they hadn’t thought…
They hadn’t thought the hero would be so willing to tear apart their own body for success.
It was supposed to be fun, the villain thought. They felt a little sick as the hero pressed their palms together to soothe the bleeding, an action that was practiced and familiar. As if they had done this before.
The hero reached for something in their bag, smearing blood on the side, and pulled out a roll of blue electrical tape. The villain didn’t understand why, until the hero tore a strip off and made to wrap their hands with it.
The hero would be the death of them.
They crouched in front of the hero, plucking the electrical tape out of their hands.
“What are you doing with this?”
The hero blinked at the villain like they were the strange one in this situation.
“Wrapping my hands?”
The villain hissed in a breath.
“With electrical tape?”
The hero flushed slightly, looking down at their bloody hands. They looked close to tears.
“It…sticks to skin, really well. And it doesn’t move, either, when you move your hands or wherever else, even if you’re fighting. Plus, blood doesn’t make it come off, at least, not for a while.”
The villain blinked at them.”
“Blood doesn’t make it come off,” the villain repeated, processing. The hero nodded, reaching for the electrical tape. The villain settled it out of reach.
“Not if you wrap it right.”
Dimly, the villain realized that meant the hero had done this enough times to have it down to a science.
“And you couldn’t use a bandaid?” The villain asked incredulously. The hero shrugged a shoulder, then winced at the motion.
Yeah, the hero had absolutely blown out their arms.
“Bandaids move—“
The villain hushed them.
“Be quiet for a second.”
The hero, wisely, went quiet.
The villain rubbed a hand over their face, then studied the hero for a moment. They took one of the hero’s hands into their own, studying the damage.
“Why did you do this to yourself,” the villain murmured.
“What do you mean, why,” the hero snapped. “It’s my job.”
“Your job is to save people,” the villain corrected. “Not destroy yourself.”
“I’m not destroying myself—“
“You are.”
“Shut up—“
“Hero.”
“I need to be better,” the hero snapped. Their voice rang out across the gym, echoing into the rafters, and they both froze. After a moment, the hero spoke again, voice soft. “I need to be better.”
They said it like they needed the villain to understand. The villain wondered who they were really saying it to—the villain, or themself.
“Better than who?”
“Everyone.” It was hushed, like a secret.
The villain watched them, waiting.
The hero took a shaky breath
“My whole thing is being the best. I have always been the best. That’s the only reason I matter. If I’m not strong enough, then I am nothing, so I need. to be. better.”
The hero had started crying, very quietly, like they were afraid to take up too much space.
The villain was not equipped to handle gifted kid burnout.
“There’s more to you than just being a good athlete,” the villain said hesitantly, and the hero shook their head.
“No. There isn’t.”
“Hero.”
“Can you give me back my electrical tape?” They hiccuped to contain a sob.
“No,” the villain said firmly, and then the hero really was sobbing.
“You don’t understand—“
The villain didn’t. Not really. They had never been the kind of talented that the hero was.
They wondered now if maybe that was a blessing.
“I don’t,” the villain agreed. “But I do understand that you’ve saved half the city, and you give everything you have to give, and you always do your best.”
“But I-“
“No.” The villain stopped them. “You are doing your best.” They tipped the hero’s chin up until they met the villain’s eyes. “And it is enough.”
The hero froze, eyes darting over the villain’s face. They wondered if anyone had ever said that to the hero, if whatever mentor they had was giving them anything other than orders to be stronger. Be better. Be more.
The villain had some new targets to take care of, it would seem.
For now, though, they had to take care of hero.
“We’re going to go wrap your hands,” they said softly. “And then we’re going to take care of your arms, and you’re going to take a nap.”
The hero nodded, watching them like they were some kind of good, selfless person.
“And if I ever catch you using electrical tape again, so help me, I will put you six feet under.”
That startled a laugh out of the hero, and they let the villain guide them to their feet.
“Fine.”
The villain turned to them. “Okay?”
Are you going to be alright?
The hero seemed to understand.
“Okay,” the hero agreed.
Yes.
And so, it was.
#writing#writing community#snippet#angst#heroes and villains#ficlet#writblr#hero/villain#hero whumpee#exhaustion#overworked#villain caretaker#whump#kind of#in case you’re wondering. yes you CAN do this to yourself. it’s completely possible#essentially what happens is if you do a motion (a pull-up) more than your body is capable#it gets mad. this is different from training till failure. this is to failure and then beyond#so while you started using the correct muscle groups you those muscles get tired and despite the tired you don’t stop#so then your body switches to muscles it SHOULDNT BE USINF and then you fuck up your elbows (in the case of pull-ups)#and then you can’t straighten your arms for a week bc the ligaments and tendons and all the little movement parts want to keep it curled in#I’m not a doctor#I’m just a gifted kid who was an athlete who got burnt out and destroyed her body lmao#this is possibly maybe based on true events that occurred#anyways. I’m not a doctor but you can use electrical tape on wounds. yes it sticks. yes it stays. it’s honestly very useful.#electrical tape > bandaids#do not do anything listed here it is BAD. do not blow out your muscles it hurts. properly clean ur injuries. I beg you.#don’t get injured at all#thank you to my friend who went “pull-up’ competition and then watched me create this angst#love u besties. drink water. go to sleep. summon demons. ❤️ self care
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Style (Stan x Kyle) please?
Here's a doodle I will finish for patreon :,)
#asks#style always everyday#sorry guys i might restrict what i post here because i hate it when my art ends up on pintrest JFSHK#there's a tumblr official on there and it posts my art automatically? And it's annoying???#I'm there to search for poses and new artists#but it's so discouraging seeing it there and then the comments are all dinks lmao#it sucks because i like posting any and all south park art here like ships but omGod dude#people want to be weird about everything ugh im just here to have funnn#rant over i just have been overthinking about it but i'll be okay and just accept it eventually lmao#((Restrict as in I'll just keep doing fun art that makes me haha#I'm just waitin gfor the south park specials but I want to draw out the oc art i have in my sketchbook lmao#maybe make a speedpaint HDKSJ
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gymnast kaito x sharpshooter shinichi meet-cute in the olympics au
#kaishin#i can already hear my brain going BUT SOCCER PLAYER SHINICHI RAAAAAAHHHHH#but shapshooter shinichi tho cmoooon CMOOONN#yall have seen the olympic athletes yall have seen the flavor#i saw yeji and yusuf and im like OKAY SHINICHI SHARPSHOOTER#also gymnast kaito this is canon in my brain idc#i would love to see kaito's floor routine like pleaaaaaseeee#also that one epke zonderland london 2012 high bar routine but make it kuroba fucking kaito RAAAAHHH#also also in my mind shinichi would only wear glasses and he'd affectionately call it 'conan'#idk a whole lot about the olympics and either sports so im not confident enough to make hcs#thats why im just yapping here LOL#might binge watch some olympics related videos and articles later idk#yell some hcs for this au at me I'd love to know!!!!!!#dc prattles#ALSO FUN IF KAITO GREW UP IN PARIS AND HE'S REPRESENTING FRANCE WHEWWWW#but it's also fun if kaishin are both team jp and theyret meeting for the first time yippeeee#akai would be shinichi's coach maybe 🤔#also i looked it ip and apparently karate was removed from the official olympic games FUCK but WE DONT CARE BECAUSE#OLYMPIC ATHLETE BESTIES SONOSHINRAN MY BELOVED I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU#anyway sonoko in gymnastics ran in karate and sharpshooter shinichi WOW WOW WAIT MY BRAIN HAVING A MASSIVE ROT RIGHT NOW#oh you just know sonoko does all those tiktoks with a shy but excited ran and completely forced to participate shinichi LMAO#kaishin meet through sonoko ofc 👀👀👀#sonoko and kaito are besties too and are familiar with each other for both being in the gymnastics scene#anyway kaito and shinichi meet and kiss and fall in love#ALSO SHINICHI THIRSTING OVER KAITO'S MUSCLES LMAOOOO#AND KAITO THIRSTING OVER A FULLY CLOTHED SHINICHI POISED FOR A SHOT LIKEEEE#oh they wanna makeout real bad i fear#ALSO KAITO IS THAT ONE ATHLETE WHO KEEPS STEALING THE CHOCOLATE MUFFINS IN THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE LMFAOOOO#the tiktoks of that guy was so funny lol i just know kaito would do the same#you know what maybe I should've just typed this on the post and not on the tags but it's too late now LMAO i want more of them tho omg 😳
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ok so i have mentioned it before but i've been rewriting the "i hunger to commit the act of touch" series aka the prince!gojo x knight!reader series bc i felt like my writing has improved so SO fucking much and i just knew i could make the existing chapters so much better.
anyway the question now is whether i should hold onto the chapters until i have multiple of them ready so you guys wouldn't have to wait that long for updates orrrrrrr should i just drop them as i finish them? both are still going to take time though so remember that .
i'm still me so it would still probably take me a long time before i finish ALL of them and so i thought maybe it'd be nice if you guys can read the ones that are ready in the meanwhile yk?
#i'm so impatient though lmao#i think i'd prefer to drop them as i finish them#but i've seen ppl say that it's annoying when the author just doesn't update their stuff yk#and well i do continue being slow as fuck like that is not going to change ever i fear#ngl i'm just scared that if i keep holding onto the finished ones i'll get more mmmmm unsure about them#like if i have one of them out i can maybe see some feedback and that'll give me more motivation too right... ?#ahhhh godd idk i'm getting so anxious over it lmao it's ridiculous#the last one should be ready soon i've only got like one more section to write#aaanyway whatever whatever just tell me what you think#mickey is polling
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*does the 3D equivalent of doodling a big sparkly eye in the margins of your class notes*
#3D#I've never done anything at this level of detail before and just wanted to see if I could#and then gave up at the prospect of sculpting individual eyelashes lmao#but yeah it turns out this isn't even all that hard#I drew the structure of the iris in procreate beforehand to use as an alpha (basically like a stamp in clay)#and the rest was just painting and some very minor sculpting#it was fun!#I want to say maybe next time I'll do an actual sparkly anime eyeball#but from what I've seen anime style 3D art keeps the features very simple and flat#so I'd just literally be drawing it anyway and there's nothing exciting to me about that#anyway! get beheld 👁️
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everyone hates crunch and everyone wants the new dragon age to have 4x the scope with 8x the quantum content
#I'm sorry this isn't fair. I know we lost half a decade to two reboots making cool concept art ideas too unfeasible to consider#it is more than fair to mourn it. it's just so entropic. trying to keep containing the unraveling worldstate of thedas over and over again#such a uniquely weird predicament. I think I am starting to feel antagonistic to this type of storytelling#like not fully but to a certain degree I can sense its catastrophic toxicity in the long run#but then again I am the stories-matter-over-lore guy so maybe I am simply blind to the value of it all#this ties back into my musing yesterday about authored vignettes being defanged by player choice even without this context#so like I am starting to lose the plot here for why do this at all. they either have to bethesda it now#and start telling local stories or whatever#or keep banging their heads against this geometrically progressing wall while losing larger and larger sizes of their audience#like with the mass effect trilogy it's kinda like. a double funnel. gets wider then narrows back down by the end#cause it's a finite context those quantum states serve and exist in. but then you want to tell more stories in that universe#and the lorebrained gymnastics inevitably kick in. and like what is this all for#I think I'm growing away from this a little haha I hate that realization lmao
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The sukugo fight can't get animated any sooner I'm craving sukugo tiktok edits
#jjk#ryomen sukuna#gojo Satoru#sukugo#my post#sukugo's date night#Grown ass men beating each other up looking each other in the eyes thinking about love while a cutesy song plays in the background 😍#I saw a tiktok edit of Sukuna annihilating everything with the song “what is love?” by TWICE playing I was like wait a minute THISSS!!!#but with the Sukugo fight!!!!#I have a whole montage in my brain hear me out.... starting from 2:27 minutes in#Wonder where you are?~ I'm gonna find you~ Wonder where you are?~ I'm so dying to see you~ I can't take it much longer~#👆🏻these lyrics with that scene of Sukuna waiting for gojo on the rooftop before their fight...hmmm yes yandere vibes yes#How it could be as sweet as candy~ How it's like flying in the sky~#👆🏻These with Sukuna and gojo clashing in the sky over kenjaku#this part of the song is the slowest so a slow motion scene of them in the sky would look beautifulagghj#I wanna know know know know~ what is love?~ What love feels like~#👆🏻 these with Sukuna giving Satoru that look💀 and thinking about yorozu's words after Satoru chose their date to be on 24th..#How it keeps you smiling all day~#👆🏻 this one is obvious there are too many instances of them freakishly smiling during the fight that it's hard to choose lmao#How the whole world turns beautiful~#👆🏻cut to Sukuna saying he cleared his skies...yeah...#I wanna know know know know what is love?~ Will love come to me someday?~#👆🏻 and maybe if we're getting angsty with this... that scene of the last time “the one who will teach you about love” was brought up#in the airport where we see Sukuna from behind and Satoru says it was fun asdhjkkll#Then the song just continues with I wanna know~ I wanna know~ for 30 seconds until it ends#👆🏻 And here comes a compilation of Sukuna missing gojo and standing there looking bored and we have Yuji black flashing his heart#and sukuna looks behind him and has heart eyes for larue but it fades to him looking at yutagojo thinking it's gojo#because these two scenes are SIMILAR for some reason and then yuta failing at being gojo and sukuna copying gojo's hand sign and-#Do yall see what I mean this is their theme song fr The song being cutesy and upbeat is what makes this for me#Sukuna is living his first teenage girl experience Yall don't understand I need this so baddd I'm gonna learn how to edit and do it myself
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silly guyz
#its been a million years since ive drawn them. i like the trend ive been seeing of giving stan trey’s old bleached hair#and wanted to take a stab at it teeheeeeee#south park#south park style#sp style#stankyle#sp stanky#style sp#<- wtf tag are people even using these days#mine#based on an old matt n trey pic lmao#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#<- just realized i forgot to fuckin. tag them. god my brain is MUSh#btw if u manage to recognize my art style (heh style) power to ya but im gonna be keeping this sideblog p separate from my main#and in general dont expect uhhh a consistent art style. im maybe gonna post a handful of things but its gonna be doing some art style#expirementing rather than even trying to do consistent stuff. for funsies.#also fun fact:#ive been sitting on this url since leslie's full name was given back in what. 2015? jesus christ that was nearly a decade ago huh
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Every time I try to write lately, I just can't get anywhere with it :/ I can string words together but they feel empty. Events happen, but what story are they even telling? There's no emotion, no depth, so substance at all. I just can't make anything that's about or says anything at all and idk why :/
#it's starting to get really frustrating#I've got 3 wips that are all different stuff that I keep coming back to and none of them are going anywhere#it's like there's no substance to any of it#the events feel soulless and empty#what am I even saying with anything that happens#'oh this story is about intimacy' where's the intimacy then bitch#like yeah they're touching but like what's intimate about it where's the emotions#goddamnit I just want to make something and I just can't#like maybe I could make something that's shit and soulless but I don't want that I want it to be good#and I keep trying and trying every week and I get nowhere with it and then I'm like :/ well fuck now I don't know what to do with myself#and then the bad feels get worse cause the thing that's supposed to make me feel better isn't working and I can't manage to actually do it#ffs#idk what to do but sometimes complaining helps so I'm trying that lmao#who knows maybe it'll help#shut up nerd#text#misc
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another fav:
you can see how annoyed jack is over this request. annoyed seems like a weird word. disappointment, frustration, anger, irritation. exhaustion. i was half expecting him to say, “i’m so tired of having to forgive people.”
i do think it was a bit too wide of a net cast with regards to jack’s anger (joke was just a small part of a bigger issue) but what we can understand, especially by episode 4, is how much people let jack down or simply abandon him. his parents leaving in the most brutal way, his guiding force and only male influence betraying him and fucking with his life, this boy he thought he knew fucking with his head and sacrificing himself for 5y.
none of those are small things. and i love how they handled forgiveness—jack didn’t forgive him. the whole scene is great (minus how clearly hot the coach was and idk why they made him keep that on). jack is frustrated, he’s confused, he’s just surviving. when he says he feels empty…he is. yin rly got that across for me esp when he was just listening to what the coach had to say. the emotion through the coolness shows us how genuine he is but also how..well yea, empty.
the visual cramping in the apartment buildings remind me of him. there’s too much to hold in one space and people could fix it but instead pile in more things. jack will burst. there’s this stagnancy to the place they exist in (the city) like nothing changes, no one gets out, there’s no point in struggling just let the misery we know will come, come. it’s so dry but suffocates. you can feel the heat (not only bc THEY DONT DRESS PROPERLYYYY) and stiffness. idk a lot of affectual-visual cues. a lot of thoughts.
anyway tl dr i liked that
#as usual i forgot what i was saying lmao#and im high#jack and joker#ya idk i like yin a lot :) i connect w his acting style. the more he does the more we will feel him. Hes grown a lot so keep going#i liked vee from lm too even tho i hated that show. Like he wasnt smazing but not terrible but i ended up likingn vee which is insane isnt i#and yet! bc he has a compeling way of playing these ppl. And hes too cute!#stanislavski luvr maybe? hmmm? anyway i like watching him and hopefully his next dramas are good and we can see him grow hus skillswt#the show has got a good way of creating that feeling lmao im like#also thinking brecht but tbqh idk and most of that has to do with a radicsl idea of art but still like#not just visually but everything the atmospher the space the way you can ge tlost in the environment#just a well constructed piece that hss its imperfections but i still see something and feel something with it#WEIRD#ANYWAY LIKE he was just like ??? why???? can someone just not hurt me for once? thatd be great
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