#lmao I might end up just straight-up skipping that until the chapter is done

[thelastspeecher]

NaNoWriMo ‘17 Day 12 - Wild Woman

Day 01   Day 02   Day 03   Day 04   Day 05   Day 06   Day 07   Day 08 Day 09   Day 10   Day 11   Day 12   Day 13   Day 14   Day 15   Day 16 Day 17   Day 18   Day 19   Day 20   Day 21   Day 22   Day 23   Day 24 Day 25   Day 26   Day 27   Day 28   Day 29   Day 30

Summary: Stan comes across a werewolf in the forest.  Inspiration from here.   Word count: 1918

Part 2

               Splash!

               Stan looked to the left, startled.  Nothing was there.  He was still the only person sitting by the stream.

               Probably just a fish.  Stan scowled at his fishing rod.  But if it was a fish, why the hell haven’t I caught one yet?  He had decided to take a break from helping Ford out with his research, and try to catch some fish in the stream he’d spotted last week.  I deserve a break.  I also deserve to catch some fish.  Where’d they all go?  He sighed and reeled in his line.  Maybe there aren’t any.  Figures that I’d find the only stream that doesn’t have any-

               “Pfft!”  Stan’s head whipped around.  He gaped at the sight of a completely nude woman, climbing out of the stream, sputtering.  She collapsed onto the bank across from where Stan was sitting and closed her eyes.  

               “What the fuck?” Stan whispered.  The woman’s eyes snapped open.  A crimson flush spread across her face.  She and Stan stared at each other in silence for several moments.  “Uh…you okay, lady?”

               “That’s a loaded question,” the woman said carefully.  Stan frowned.

               “Not really.  What, did you escape from a mob hit?”  He shook his head.  “Nah, that can’t be right.  There’s no way there’s a mob here in Gravity Falls.”

               “Gravity Falls,” the woman repeated.  “Where- uh- which state is Gravity Falls in?”

               “Oregon.”

               “Sweet sarsaparilla.”  The woman sat up.  “How on Earth did I- hey!”  Stan’s gaze had traveled south of her face.  “Eyes up here, sir!” she snarled.  

               “I mean, it’s not like I can see much.  You’ve got so much mud caked on you, it’s like you’re wearing clothes.”

               “But I’m not, so stop it,” the woman said firmly.

               “Fine.  But seriously, lady, are you all right?”

               “…No.”  The woman groaned and put her head in her hands.  “I remember what happened, I just- I have no clue how I ended up so far from home.”

               “Sounds like you don’t really remember what happened, then.”  The woman glared at him.  “Okay, geez, chill.”  Stan rubbed the back of his neck.  “Maybe…maybe tell me your name?”

               “Angie.  And yours?”

               “Stan.  My brother’s got a place not far from here.  If you want, I could take you there, get you some clothes, a shower.” Stan’s stomach rumbled.  “And food.  I mean, I’m hungry.  In the state you’re in, you’ve gotta be starving.”

               “Hungry like the wolf,” Angie deadpanned.  

               Kinda weird way to say it, but whatever.

               “You’ll have to come over here.  His house is on this side of the stream,” Stan informed her.  Angie bit her lip, clearly hesitant to follow a stranger somewhere.  She let out a sigh after a minute.

               “Okay.”  She crossed the stream, but stumbled on the bank while she tried to climb up.

               “Here.”  Stan held out a hand.  Angie took it with visible relief.  He pulled her up.  “Um…you look cold.”

               “I’m covered in mud ‘n water, but not much else.  What do you expect?” she asked, shivering violently.  “Which way’s yer brother’s house?”

               “That way,” Stan said, pointing.  Angie turned around.  Stan eyed her figure.  “But, uh, if you’re cold, I guess you could take my jacket.  Don’t really need it right now anyways.”

               “Really?”

               “Yeah.  It needs to be washed, though, just so you know.”  Stan slid off his jacket and handed it to the shivering woman.

               “So do I.”

               “Heh.”  Angie zipped Stan’s jacket up.  It was exceedingly large on her; it nearly reached her knees.  “Hey, bonus, you’re not flashing the entire forest anymore. Or maybe that’s a downside.”

               “Definitely a bonus,” Angie said.  She hugged her arms close to her chest.  “It was this way, ya said?”

               “Yep.”  

               “And is it just a straight shot there?”

               “Yep.  Let’s go.” Stan grabbed his fishing rod and tacklebox, then the two of them set off, Stan close behind Angie.

----- 

               Stan hummed to himself as he made lunch.  

               Nothin’ like good old-fashioned scrambled meat.  There was a small cough behind him.  He turned.

               “Those clothes all right?” he asked Angie.  She nodded silently.  Freshly showered and wearing some clean clothes, she looked more human than she had in the forest.  “They were the closest thing to your size I could find.  Looks like they’re still too big, though.  You’re a lot smaller without all the mud and twigs and leaves.”

               “Beggars can’t be choosers,” Angie said idly.  “It’s better ‘n prancin’ ‘round in my birthday suit.”  She looked down at her feet.  “Thank you, again.  Ya didn’t have to help me like ya did.”

               “I know,” Stan said with a shrug.  “I coulda just pointed you in the direction of the road, sent you on your way.”

               “Why didn’t you?”

               “I know what it’s like to end up in a strange place, with jack shit.  It sucked.  I coulda used someone to give me clothes or let me shower or whatever. And I can’t really leave a pretty girl with a nice ass like yours alone in the woods.”

               “Lord,” Angie mumbled, rolling her eyes, but still cracking a tiny smile. Stan eyed her.  

               “I also know what it’s like to be targeted by the mob.”

               “It wasn’t a mob hit.”

               “Dammit.  I was hopin’ you’d cave in if it said it like that,” Stan muttered.  He grunted.  “Go ahead and take a seat at the table.”  

               “Mmkay.”  Angie sat down at the table and gazed around the kitchen with interest.  “What does yer brother do?”

               “Research.”

               “Oh, he’s a scientist?”

               “Yup.”

               “And you help him with his research?”

               “In a way.  I’m muscle. Help him carry things, or fight off monsters and stuff like that.  The person that helps him with his actual research is his assistant.  Skinny, twig-like guy.  He’s the person who owns the clothes you’re wearing,” Stan said, nodding at her.  She pursed her lips.

               “Don’t seem like he’s got much of a sense of fashion, then.”

               “Oh, hell no.  You should see the clothes I passed up for that.  Ugly-ass green splotches, bell bottoms.  I mean, I don’t care about fashion, but I do care about how messed up his style is,” Stan said passionately.  Angie giggled.  Stan stared at her.  

               Fuck.  That was cute.

               “Where’s yer brother and his assistant right now, then?” Angie asked. Stan looked back at the stove.

               “Fuck if I know,” Stan mumbled.  The front door opened.

               “Stanley?” a voice called.

               “In the kitchen!” Stan shouted back.

               “All right, we’ll come meet you, then,” Ford said.  Stan glanced at Angie.  She had picked up a plastic spoon, and was staring at it with unbridled interest.  

               Sweet Moses, please tell me she knows what a spoon is.

               “Oh, uh, just so you know, we have a guest,” Stan said loudly.  

               “What?  Stanley, don’t invite people over without consulting me first,” Ford said grumpily, walking into the kitchen.  He sighed upon seeing Angie.  “What on Earth is going on here?”

               “Found her in the woods,” Stan said.  

               “You found her in the woods?  Stanley, she could be any number of dangerous magical creature!” Ford said angrily.

               “Or she could be some girl who got lost and needed help,” Stan ground out.

               “Stanford, be reasonable,” another voice said.  “Stanley’s got good intuition.  Now, mind gettin’ out of the way so’s I can see our guest?”

               “Very well.”  Ford stood to the side.  “You’ll be angry too, once you see that Stan dressed her in your clothes.”  A silence fell.  Stan looked over at Angie.  She was staring slack-jawed at Ford’s assistant.  Stan frowned, looking back and forth between the two.  His eyes widened.

               “Holy fuck.”

               “Angie?” Fiddleford squeaked.  The plastic spoon Angie was holding fell from her hands.  She nodded silently.  “Lordy!  You’ve been missin’ fer three months!  Where have ya been?”

               “Places,” Angie mumbled.  She looked down at the shirt she was wearing.  “Should’ve known these were yer clothes.  Yer the only person who likes shirts as awful as this.”

               “Do we have to discuss fashion now?” Fiddleford asked, sitting at the table next to her.  She eyed him warily.  “Angie, we were so worried!  The baby of the fam’ly, just up and disappearin’?  Ma ‘n Pa were apoplectic.”

               “Wait, Fiddleford, this is the missing sister you’ve told me about?” Ford asked.  Fiddleford nodded.  Ford stared at Stan.  “And Stanley just so happened to find her in the woods?”

               “Don’t say I never did anything for you, Fiddlenerd,” Stan said. Fiddleford didn’t respond, instead continuing to stare at his sister.  She leaned away from him, her eyes wide.  “Okay, dude, chill out.  You’re scaring her.”

               “Don’t tell me how to act ‘round my sister,” Fiddleford snapped.  Stan rolled his eyes.  Fiddleford abruptly reached out to take one of Angie’s hands.  She let out a small shriek and fell off her chair.

               “D-don’t,” Angie stammered.  “Don’t move so fast.”

               “Wha- sis, what’s wrong?” Fiddleford asked.

               “Fiddlenerd, I found her in the woods, naked and covered in mud.  She looked fuckin’ feral,” Stan informed him.

               “Feral?  Naked? My baby sister?”

               “Yep,” Stan said with a nod.  “But she insists it wasn’t a mob hit.”

               “Of course it weren’t,” Fiddleford said firmly.  “Angie, what happened?”

               “Don’t wan’ talk about it,” Angie mumbled, still on the floor where she had fallen.  

               “We should give ya a checkup.  I’ll find ya a doctor,” Fiddleford said.  

               “I can take her vitals,” Ford suggested.  Angie eyed him suspiciously.  “It won’t substitute for a proper doctor’s visit, but it should let us know whether to take you to the hospital right away or not.”

               “Okay,” Angie said reluctantly.  She climbed onto her chair again.  Ford sat down next to her.  She held out her wrist.  “Fer my pulse.”

               “Of course.”  Ford rested his fingers against her wrist.  He frowned.  “Very rapid heartrate.  And your skin feels warm.”

               “I just showered.”

               “Still.  If you continue to feel warm, we should take your temperature.”  Ford fished around in his pockets and pulled out a small flashlight. “I’ll check for a concussion.”  He shone the light in her eyes.  She blinked.  “Stop blinking.”

               “My eyes don’t like the light.”

               “Hmm.”  Ford frowned at her.  “Would you mind rolling up your sleeves?”  Angie seemed confused, but did as she was told.  Ford nodded silently.  “As I suspected.  Fiddleford, look.”

               “Lord!” Fiddleford gasped, staring at a large bite mark on Angie’s forearm.  “What happened?”

               “I suspect she was bitten by a werewolf.  That would explain her disappearance; initial transformations can last months until the individual is sufficiently shocked enough to turn human again.  It would also explain the reports we’ve been hearing of a large wolf.”  Ford shone the light in Angie’s eyes again.  She grimaced.  “Werewolves have eyes sensitive to light, and their eyes will glimmer in a distinctive way. The rapid heartrate and high temperature are also signs of lycanthropy.”

               “Angie, is this true?” Fiddleford asked, aghast.

               “I doubt she recalls anything of her time as a wolf-” Ford started.

               “It’s true,” Angie interrupted.  She looked down.  “It’s true.”

               “Damn.  I was way off,” Stan said.  Angie pulled her sleeves down again.  “What made you turn back human?”

               “I fell in that stream, tryin’ to catch a fish,” Angie mumbled.

               “Okay, I get why you didn’t wanna tell me the truth,” Stan conceded.

               “Yer all just acceptin’ this?” Angie asked.  “I- I just confirmed that I’m a werewolf.”

               “We’ve seen stranger things in the woods here,” Ford said.  Stan nodded.

               “So far, though,” Stan said, “I think I like stumbling across a naked woman the most.”

[xxxtrouvaillexxx]

Let’s Strike a Deal

A/N: This is late, I know. If you have not realized from before, I’m really bad at meeting deadlines. Well, at least deadlines that I’ve created for myself to follow because I like to procrastinate things and frankly… what am I gonna do to myself? Band myself from tea until I’ve written a chapter? I don’t have the self control for that! And life is hectic. But you know, enough with my excuses and onto the story. Hope you enjoy. I always love feedback so please be sure to leave a comment! ALSO I wanted to give a TRY (key word) to first person. If I don’t like it... I might change it, idk. I should never write anything at 3am as per evidence below, especially without editing lmao

Pair: CEO!Tom x Reader

Synopsis: Y/N, the small town of Hawkshead girl trying to make her way in the big city of Westminster, London. Not as easy as she thought. When things start to take a turn for the worst one afternoon and only one man in the crowd of hundreds decides to help her, she does something rather uncharacteristic and gives her savor her number in case he could ever use help of his own. Course, she never expected for him to actually call her out on it.

Masterlist

Warning(s): none… yet. Cursing?

Word Count:

My time was limited. There was nothing left that had to be done here or anything left to pack. Everything I’ve ever owned sat in a car on the way to my new apartment and last of the suitcases were in the bed of my brothers pickup at this very moment while I sat on the floor of my room. There wasn’t anything left for me here, I knew that, but it was still difficult to say goodbye to the place that carried so many of my favorite memories and the imprints of my childhood that still were splayed around the surrounding room.

There were two dents in the wall right in front of me from when I was ten and hit my head after tripping on one of my toys, thumbtack holes that littered everywhere above the bed from forts that I would make with my brothers and friends, nail polish that was spilled on the carpet from times when I was too distracted with talking than keeping the bottle up straight, my engraved initials on the windowsill. The memories that I had made in this room were countless and they were all absolutely priceless.

“Y/N!” I heard your mother call from the living room, her voice was slightly hoarse from held back emotion and it broke my heart to hear her like that. “You got to get going, dear! You’ll miss your train if you wait much longer to head out.”

Taking a deep breath and slowly standing from the, now old, bed I made my way toward the door, feet dredging behind me and scuffing the floor as I walked out. “I know, Mama. I’m just-” the words caught in my throat and I was at a loss. “I’m really going to miss you guys so much.”

“Oh stop it, you’re gonna make me cry if you keep on like that,” She said giving a tight hug before pushing me out the front door. “You are going to love it in London so much you’re not even gonna be thinking about us here, so get goin’. Your brothers already waiting for you in the car.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her antics, “I love you Mama! I’ll call you when I get there!”

Jumping into the passenger seat of the truck, I waved final goodbyes from the window, dramatically blowing kisses as the car started to drive away.

“You better!” She exclaimed, watching as we pulled out and down the road.

“She is going to be a mess when I get back home. I can’t believe you’re going to leave me to deal with that alone!” Christian, stuck driving you to the train station much to his dismay, gave you a mocking glare. “After all the things I’ve done for your, this is how you choose to repay me? I’m pretty sure I’m getting the short end of the stick here,” he laughed humorlessly.

“Ahhh~” I cooed and smiled, “You’re only saying that cause you know you guys’ are going to be missing me so much!”

“Miss you?” He scoffed, “Yeah right. What we’re going to be missing is your baking. It’ll be the greatest blow our family has faced since 1824.”

I gave a scathing look, “And what, if I may ask, happened in 1824?”

“Don’t know, but something bad probably.”

»»-——————————————-««

I have never been so sore getting off of a bus in her life. The cheapest route to get to Westminster from Hawkshead was a train and 8 bus stops, totaling up to 10 or so hours in and out of vehicles. I groaned and stretched when my feet planted on hard asphalt for the first time in what seemed like forever. But, for all the soreness, I had made it to my destination with time to spare.

It was louder than I had imagined, crowded with traffic from all directions and people running any which way to get on with their lives. It was bustling and busy. Lively. Not exactly what I was used to which made me smile. 

Wide.

I made it. 

I only had a suitcase with me, the rest of her belongings would be delivered in a few days to the new apartment. 

My apartment. 

I was positively giddy at the thought. 

It took a lot of self control to keep from skipping down the side walks while I somehow navigated the new scenery, but I managed to keep my excitement under wraps for the time being. Arriving an hour early gave me a bit of time to take in the bigger sites near by, like the Ferris wheel, the clock tower Big Ben, and my personal favorite- Westminster Palace and abbey. It was a dream of mine since I was little to see it in person, and now here I was standing mere blocks away from the grand building, elated and amazed. 

Vibrating caught my attention and I barely managed to turn my eyes away from the sites in front of me to my phone, Kyra’s name popping up on the screen. My best friend and now room mate, Kyra Bardou, who was probably wondering where the hell I was now. 

“Hey,” I drawled with an obvious grin I couldn’t even hide in my voice. 

“Hey yourself! I’ve been waiting at the stop for 15 minutes with no sign of you only to learn you’re already in town and didn’t even bother to tell me!” She spoke so quickly I was shocked she didn’t run out of breath and laughed. 

“I’m site seeing, sue me!” I turned and started making the slow walk back, “I’ll be back in a couple minutes, I promise.”

She only grunted in response and let me walk in a comfortable silence, letting me continue to take everything in while simply enjoying her presence on the line. It was the last few moments I’d get now, the last bits of my old life slipping through my fingers like sand in exchange for a new one. 

And the chaos that comes with a big city. 

Like robbers. 

I couldn’t even let out a cry as I was shoved to the ground, my phone forced from my hand and my suitcase caught up in a strange mans arms. It took me a whole 5 seconds to get my bearings enough to yell at the man and give chase, shouting for help though no one so much as looked our way, just moved out of his. 

“Stop!” I screamed, running but quickly losing him as he bobbed and weaved through the crowd skillfully. “Stop! Someone stop him!”

And this time, someone moved to action, running past me at an alarming rate and quickly gaining ground on my assailant before they both rounded a corner and I lost sight of them. 

My heart dropped and I picked up speed again, hoping that I didn’t let them get far enough away for me to lose them completely, it would have been easy for them to get away from me here.

But when I turned around the block, I found the man on the ground with the track star of a man on top of him, already on the phone with I assume the police. I finally caught up to them and without thinking, hugged the man on the phone, a silent thank you while he spoke to whoever was on the line, before I gathered my things and hugging them close to me. 

He smiled kindly, finishing the call and turning to me properly while still pinning the thief to the ground. “Are you alright miss?”

“Yes! Thank you so much, I’d have been completely lost without this,” I gestured to my luggage. “I can’t thank you enough for helping me get it back. I don’t even know how to get around town yet.”

He laughed and nodded. “So new to town then. It was my pleasure to help, though I was really just doing what anyone in my position would do,” he responded kindly.

Furiously I shook my head, “No, you didn’t. I don’t believe I saw a single soul other than you move to help. Unless you did but beat them to it at the last minute. Not that that it implausible, you are seriously fast on your feet.” 

He laughed again and I noticed what a nice laugh he had, it was contagious and I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle of my own now that my adrenaline was fading bit by bit. “Yes, well- I do enjoy the sport.”

“Dually noted,” I grinned, jumping a little when my phone started to buzz in my hands. Kyra’s name popping up on the screen again. “Shoot!” I exclaimed and answered. I wasn’t even able to put the phone to my ear before I heard her shouting my name on the line. “Kyra-”

“Oh my god, Y/N! What the heck happened, I heard you shout and then the line went dead! Are you okay? Did something happen? Where are you?” She was speaking so loudly I had to hold the phone away from my ear a safe distance as she spouted one question after another at me without reprieve. 

My rescuer across from me chuckled, overhearing my frantic friend. “I’m fine, someone tried to steal my stuff on my way to meet you. Luckily someone came along and helped me catch him, otherwise I’d have lost everything. But everything is okay now, we are-” I looked around and realized I have no idea where we were. 

He seemed to catch on to my newest distress and whispered, “Tell them we are on the corner of Tufton and Bennett’s Yard.”

I nodded and mouthed a thank you, “ Tufton and Bennett’s Yard,” I repeated and she said she’d be here in a 10 minutes and to sit and wait before hanging up the phone. 

I slouched on the wall of some building, letting myself relax. “Not to be repetitive or anything, but thank you.”

He just shook his head, “No need. You’re friend sounded pretty worried about you, it wouldn’t do well to let her stew in that worry longer than needed.”

“Yeah, it’s been a few years since we last saw each other. She’d be pretty upset if something bad happened before I could even move in,” I laughed, though it didn’t quite sound right even to my ears. “I’m Y/N, by the way,” I introduced and stuck my hand out. 

He took it and gave a firm shake, “Tom. It’s a pleasure to meet you Y/N. Even in these less than optimal circumstances.” 

“The pleasure is mine, I assure you.”

“Y/N!” Someone yelled, and we both turned our heads to see Kyra sprinting full speed around her car and at me. I stood and braced myself for the collision of her, and fell back against the wall with the force of her body. 

“Holy shit, girl! You scared the hell outta me, you could have died! This is why I told you to call me when you first got into town, you always manage to get yourself into trouble like this. What would I have told your parents if something happened, huh? Huh!?”

I grinned and pulled back to get a proper look at her. Her black hair, normally frizzy was sticking out in every direction and her honeyed eyes wide as she scanned me over, running her hands over my arms for injuries. “I’m fine, Kyra. I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner, you’re right.”

“I know I’m right!” She shot back with a glare, “That doesn’t make me feel any better!”

“Well, there is a first for everything after all.”

Tom laughed hard at our back and forth, making us both jump a little and look down at him. Before I could even say anything, Kyra was down on his level with the thieves shirt in her fists and a scowl that would scare the devil himself on her face. 

“Is this the bastard that did this?” 

“Let go!” I shrieked and pulled her off, albeit with a little effort. “Tom called the cops and they’ll deal with this properly. Not you,” I said sternly. She just let out a huff of a response and pushed herself back enough to look at Tom properly. 

She gave him a once over and held her scowl in place, “So you’re the one who saved Y/N/N?”

He gave a small, hesitant nod and gave me a nervous glance. I just laughed and stood back up, as Kyra launched forward to give him a hug. “Thank you,” she murmured a few times and pulled back. 

“No worries,” he said, and looked far less distressed now that Kyra didn’t look like she wanted to gut him. “I was there at the right time is all.”

“Yes, well- That doesn’t mean what you did was anything less than amazing. My whole life is in that bag and in that phone at the moment. Seriously, if there is anything I can do for you in return it’s yours. Ice cream, some roller skates, a kidney. Just ask.”

Everyone laughed at that and he nodded with an obviously sarcastic “sure”, just as the police arrived to take the culprit and our statements. Kyra mumbled something about them being slow and went to the car for a few minutes to be out of the way. 

15 minutes later, everything was settled and they took the man away. Leaving Tom and I alone on the side walk again while I settled everything in my case to be sure I didn’t miss anything and quickly scribbled on a stray notecard. 

“I meant it when I said I owe you one,” I said and handed the card with my name and number to him. “Just give me a ring if I can ever be of any help at all and I’ll come running. Though, probably much slower than you did.”

He tried to decline the offer only once, but after some persistence he took it with another smile, “Thank you, Y/N. Hopefully this will not be our last meeting. And hopefully never again under such pressing circumstances,” he held out his hand, and I took it, returning his earlier shake with a firm one of my own and I agreed. 

“Until next time then,” he said and left. 

I barely was able to take my seat in the car before Kyra grasped my arm with a devious smile, “Y/N/N- Did you just give that guy your number?” My silence was answer enough and she laughed, “Girl! No way!”

No way was right, I thought with a small smile of my own as we pulled away and started home.

»»-——————————————-««

TAGS: open 

@drakesfiance @dumbgopher1​ @kewlbeans-22​​

[cosmic-goddess-leo]

First Love / Late Spring Pt. 1

Kuroo Tetsuro x Reader

Series Summary: Reader was once a nationally recognized volleyball player until an injury she suffered her last year of high school. She and Kuroo knew each other vaguely through a mutual friend but lost contact after her injury. Now they attend the same University in Tokyo and are beginning to reconnect.

Chapter Summary: Kuroo and Reader have their first meeting in high school then reconnect a year later. This chapter takes place before and after the Land Vs. Sky OVA.

Word Count: 3527... really did not mean for this to be so long lmao

Author’s Note: Yes, this is named after a Mitski song lmao. This is my first time writing Kuroo and my first crack at fanfiction in a while, so let me know what ya’ll think!

This time of the year was typically the calm before the storm.

Some would say that statement was a load of crap, given the amount of practices and training camps the Nekoma volleyball team had to attend, but for Kuroo it was relaxing.

It was a routine he would settle into and find comfort in while on the road to nationals, though he couldn’t say the same for his team. 

He glanced over his shoulder, looking at the rest of the team piled into the bus bound for Fukurodani Academy.

The travel distance wasn’t ideal, and typically Nekoma hosted these sorts of practices before nationals.

But, Nekoma’s coach had made up his mind about the team attending a practice match at Fukurodani. And so began the herding of the cats.

Luckily they would be in good company; The teams were on fairly good terms with one another, so the day wouldn’t be full of fake pleasantries and awkward silences.

A monotone chirping noise followed by a mumbled curse pulled Kuroo from his thoughts and back to his seat.

He looked down at Kenma, who was now starting a new game on the handheld electronic he had brought along on the trip.

“If you start a new game you’ll just have to quit in the next 5 minutes,” Kuroo warned. He was beginning to recognize the buildings around them, meaning they would be arriving at Fukurodani soon.

“I can get through a quick round before we get there,” was Kenma’s quick reply.

Kuroo sighed dramatically before leaning on Kenma, causing him to misstep in his game and almost fall off a ledge.

“What’s the point of sitting beside you if you’re not going to talk to meeee?” he whined.

Kenma huffed, readjusting himself, “It’s better than sitting next to Lev and his snoring, isn’t it?”

Kuroo chuckled again, shaking his head slightly before relaxing into his seat.

The academy soon came into view; the sleeping teammates were woken up and multiple sighs of relief could be heard as their long journey would soon be over.

As promised, Kenma rushed through his current round on his game before turning off the handheld device and stuffing it in his jacket pocket.

The team exited the bus, hauling their gym bags over their shoulders and began making their way to the academy’s gym.

“Kurooooo!!!!”

That booming voice could only belong to one person on this campus, Kuroo thought to himself.

He greeted Bokuto with a big smile as the other captain approached him, leaving his team and coach behind at the entrance of the gym.

The two shook hands before exchanging a quick hug.

“Is there a reason you guys aren’t inside the gym waiting to get your asses kicked?” Kuroo smirked, pulling back and glancing at the Fukurodani team.

Bokuto turned to the team, offering a small awkward smile as he rubbed at the back of his neck. “Well... there was kind of a mix-up with the girl’s team... we might be sharing the gym today.”

Kuroo then noticed the team’s coach talking on his cellphone rather hastily, only to hang up with a defeated look on his face.

The old man turned to Nekoma’s coach and apologized for the change in plans.

Certain members of the team, Kuroo included, looked ecstatic at the change.

Fukurodani’ girl team was the stuff of legend. Two-time national champions in the women’s division with some of the fastest, most badass players Kuroo had seen. And they were going to get to share a gym with them?

“Their practice starts in about an hour, so we have the gym to ourselves until then.” Bokuto piped up, smiling as his coach began to unlock the gym.

The two coaches agreed to just do warmups until the other team arrived, that way once the practice match had started the girl’s team wouldn’t be interrupting the game.

Kuroo was in the middle of hitting a spike when the gym doors opened, revealing the girl’s team on the other side.

The Nekoma team paused what they were doing, observing the new faces as they entered the gym.

Then she entered. The team captain. Number 8.

She looked around the gym, face emotionless until her eyes seemed to settle on Kuroo, and she smiled.

Kuroo, for a moment, felt his heart skip a beat. He wondered why she wou-

“Gawking at my apprentice, huh?” Bokuto laughed, smacking Kuroo on his back and interrupting his train of thought.

“Apprentice?” Kuroo asked, glancing from her to Bokuto as she approached.

“Yeaaahhh, taught her everything I know. She would be hopeless without me.” He bragged, placing more emphasis on the word ‘hopeless’ than what was needed.

“Whatever helps you spike harder.” She said, placing her hands on her hips as she stood in front of the other team captains. “But I shouldn’t even give you that, since you guys stole our gym.”

“Hey hey, this is our gym too!” Bokuto objected, “We can’t let you girls hog the spotlight at nationals!”

She smirked, “Well let’s see which is more important and deserves more gym time, the boy’s team, or the two time national champions?”

Bokuto went red before she laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck in a bearhug. It left Kuroo feeling slightly awkward as the two embraced.

“You know I’m only joking.” She giggled, struggling to stay on her tip toes as Bokuto returned the hug and lifted her slightly.

The two lingered, only for a moment, before Bokuto coughed and let her go. “You don’t have to be so rude about it...”

“Talk about rude,” she huffed, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, “You haven’t even introduced me to your friend here.”

“Oh! Kuroo, this is (Y/n). (Y/n), Kuroo is the team captain of the Nekoma team!” Bokuto smiled, wrapping an arm around Kuroo.

(Y/n) smiled as Kuroo slightly shoved Bokuto before bowing.

“I know who you are, you’re kind of a legend,” Kuroo said, keeping his head bowed.

“H-hey, you don’t have to do that, “(Y/n) said, waiving for him to stand up straight.

“Riiight, (Y/n) here is from the west! The bowing makes her feel kind of awkward.” Bokuto explained, watching her bow slightly in return.

“Been here five years and still can’t really get used to it, no matter what my dad says.” She smiled awkwardly, relaxing slightly as Kuroo returned the smile.

The three were interrupted by (Y/n)’s coach calling for her to start her warmups with the team.

“Maybe we can play some matches whenever you guys are done... if the coaches are cool with it?” (Y/n) offered.

Kuroo’s heart skipped another beat. He’d have to offer the suggestion to his coach, playing a team like hers would be the practice they’d need before nationals.

Before he could respond (Y/n) was already jogging to her team and starting their warm-ups.

“She is... so much cooler in person...” Kuroo breathed, watching (Y/n) toss a couple of volleyballs to her teammates.

“Isn’t her accent funny?” Bokuto snickered, crossing his arms and nudging Kuroo.

Before either of them could continue fawning over her, they were called to begin the practice match.

Kuroo was never one to show off, at least that’s what he liked to tell himself right before he showed off, but he could tell he was spiking harder and diving faster in the practice match than he usually would.

Once Nekoma won their first set and switched sides of the court, he noticed how every now and then (Y/n) would stop to watch him play. Maybe that showing off was worth it. Just as he thought that, a ball landed right at his feet.

‘Well that was lame.’

“You can’t impress her if you don’t focus.” Kenma chastised him, his lips turned up ever so slightly into a smirk.

Kuroo sighed. “Could you say that any louder?”

“You’re the one being obvious about it.” Kenma shrugged, turning back to the other team as they began their serve.

Nekoma managed to win the match 2-1, much to Kuroo’s relief. Fukurodani was good, it was a close game.

Once the match had ended, he and Bokuto shook hands, only for (Y/n) to toss a volleyball their way.

Kuroo luckily caught it at the last second.

“Not bad,” (Y/n) smiled, almost being thrown off her balance as Bokuto went to her side and hugged her. “But let’s see how you do against their better half.”

“The coaches okayed it?” Kuroo smiled, passing the ball between his hands.

(Y/n) nodded, “On the condition that you let some of the Fukurodani boys mix in with your team. It would be unfair if poor Bokuto had to watch from the sidelines instead of get his practice time in.”

Bokuto laughed and quickly took the ball from Kuroo. “You’re on, captain!”

As Bokuto made his way to the two boys’ teams and gave them the news, Kuroo turned towards (Y/n) and crossed his arms.

“You sure you can handle us?” he smirked. “I saw you watching us play, you looked almost intimidated.”

“Like I said, you’re good.” She shrugged.

Kuroo’s smirk widened before (Y/n) leaned closer to him, rising on her tip toes so she could whisper in his ear.

“But I’m better.”

Chills.

She suddenly moved away, whistling at her team and catching their attention.

Despite the brief alliance between Bokuto’s and Kuroo’s best players, they still lost to (Y/n)’s team. It was close, but a loss is still a loss.

The teams thanked each other for the games and began lunch. The coaches agreed lunch would mark the end of the day for the teams, meaning Kuroo only had a small amount of time to continue socializing with (Y/n).

Once he had the lunch he packed in hand, he began scanning the gym for (Y/n), only to find she had disappeared.

Rather than put off his lunch, he opted to eat with his team and try to find her before they left. Halfway through his meal, Kenma revealed that he had seen (Y/n) and Bokuto go to eat their lunch outside. Once he saw Kuroo look around the gym for the 5th time that meal, he decided to put him out of his misery.

Kuroo finished his meal and tried to casually make his way outside in the direction Kenma had pointed.

Once he opened the door, he saw the two sitting right at the steps of the gym, having not noticed him.

He was prepared to make a grand entrance into their conversation but froze once he saw how (Y/n)’s shoulder’s sagged and her head hung low.

“You can’t keep working yourself like this, I always tell you to just take your time and-”

“You’re one of the most recognized aces in the nation, it’s so easy for you to say that. But you don’t really mean it.” (Y/n) interrupted Bokuto, her voice wavering slightly.

Bokuto sighed deeply, luckily not seeing Kuroo at the gym doors as he looked at (Y/n).

“So you’re really going to work your team to the bone? All cuz of a feeling you have?” he asked.

(Y/n) nodded. “If there’s anything I can do to keep us from losing this, I’m going to do it... I can’t lose this for us my last year here.”

The two went silent. Bokuto slowly brushed his hand over (Y/n)’s, prompting her to take his hand and lace her fingers with his.

Kuroo swallowed before loudly opening the door, hoping it would give the impression he had just gotten there.

The two quickly turned to him, smiles on their faces as they released each other’s hands.

“We’re getting ready to leave,” Kuroo smiled, “just wanted to thank you for the games.”

“Thanks for being such a good sport about losing to a bunch of girls.”(Y/n) teased, standing up and making her way to Kuroo. The two shook hands, sending a small jolt of electricity through Kuroo’s fingers.

“You’re not just a bunch of girls, you’re one of the top teams in the nation. Don’t sell yourself short like that.” Kuroo chuckled.

“We should get inside and say bye to their team properly.” Bokuto interrupted, causing the two to end their slightly-too-long handshake.

The teams bowed and said their goodbyes, knowing they would most likely see each other at nationals.

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Fukurodani would be advancing to the Spring High Tournament, there was no doubt about it. Nekoma was exhausted, the loss hit harder than the fatigue itself.

Though Kuroo had been invited to catch the rest of the match for (Y/n)’s team, he declined Bokuto’s invitation. He decided he’d rather prepare to go home than rush to the other side of the building to watch girls’ tournament with the other team.

“We obviously still need to practice,” Kuroo began, “But we played well.”

He earned no response from his teammates. He looked up at the team, all scattered throughout the locker room and staring at the television mounted on the wall behind Kuroo.

“What’s so interesting that you can’t pay attention to my post-defeat speech?” he huffed, turning to look at the tv.

The match with Fukurodani’s female team was being broadcasted on the screen, but the game was at a standstill.

Cameramen rushed to a player’s side as she cradled her ankle and sobbed shakily. The ankle was twisted and curved in an unnatural direction, the result of some probable freak accident that happened on the court.

Kuroo saw the number on her jersey before he saw her face.

Number 8.

(Y/n) squealed and sobbed, staring down at her ankle in horror as her coach tried calming her down.

The team watched as she was hoisted up onto her good foot by her coach and ushered off the court to get medical attention.

“Do you think... they’re gonna be able to do it?” Lev spoke up.

“If they do, it will have to be without their captain.” Kuroo said. He bit his lip as the camera focused on (Y/n)’s retreating figure cut to the team’s assistant coach who had stayed behind.

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It had been a little over a year since (Y/n)’s injury. Her team had ended up losing their match and didn’t make it to nationals.

Part of Kuroo felt guilty for not going to the match. If he had gone, he would have been able to see (Y/n) in the infirmary and see if she was alright.

All he had to go off of was the sporadic text messages he received from Bokuto afterwards. 

Even then, he felt awkward constantly asking about (Y/n). It was clear she and Bokuto were close, and Kuroo didn’t want to give the wrong idea.

Kuroo had only known (Y/n) not even a full day but couldn’t deny the small attraction he felt for her.

It was kind of hot knowing there was someone who could beat him in volleyball... someone he found attractive at least.

This is what his mind was wondering to his first day of University. When the gen-ed professors rattled off about the syllabus and class guidelines, he thought of the practice match against (Y/n).

Though he was no longer on a team, he knew if he joined a club at his university he would have to think of strategies and plays to make him stand out.

Just as he thought about a particular back row attack (Y/n) had executed, the door of the lecture hall he was in swung open.

The professor sent a glare in the direction of the student who had just entered but softened her gaze once the student began to apologize profusely.

The voice was familiar, and the accent stuck out more than anything.

Kuroo quickly turned to the student, his jaw almost dropping once he saw (Y/n) desperately looking around the room for an open seat.

She had been drenched by the pouring rain; she most likely had begun to walk to class unaware of the weather forecast for the day.

Her eyes settled on Kuroo, then on the empty seat beside him.

He gave her a small smile and an awkward wave.

She returned both.

“If you could please take your seat, you can look over your classmate’s syllabus. I will give you yours after class.” The professor spoke, raising an eyebrow at (Y/n).

(Y/n) took a step towards Kuroo, froze, bowed at the professor, then rushed to the seat beside him.

Kuroo couldn’t help but snicker as some rainwater dripped off (Y/n)’s hair and onto his jacket.

She whispered an apology to him, trying to maintain some distance so she wouldn’t brush off any more water on him.

He placed the syllabus to the middle of the desk, took his pen, and wrote in the white space on the paper.

-Didn’t know it was going to rain today?

(Y/n) read the small note and playfully glared at him before taking her own pen and writing back.

-Nope. Had a party last night, woke up too late to check the weather.

-Already throwing ragers?

(Y/n) couldn’t help but snort as she wrote out her reply.

-It was an apartment-warming party, jerk.

-Well now that you know we’re classmates do I get an invitation to the next party?

(Y/n) glanced up from the paper, smiling softly as Kuroo raised an eyebrow at her expectantly.

-Maybe... you were so worried about my condition, it would be rude not to.

Kuroo’s eyes went wide for a moment. Of course Bokuto would blab to her about those texts. He hadn’t even asked about her often, but it must have been enough to warrant a report from Bokuto.

Rather than bring up the game or her injury, he instead opted to make her an offer she couldn’t refuse.

-How about I walk you to your next class with my trusty umbrella?

(Y/n) smiled softly and drew a small thumbs up under his message.

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“So, where we headed?” Kuroo asked, sitting on the corner of the desk as (Y/n) packed her things.

“You know you really don’t have to walk me.” She smiled, keeping her eyes on her things. “I wouldn’t want to make you late to your next class.”

Kuroo shrugged, “My next class isn’t until 11. I have plenty of time.”

“Plus,” he stood up, grabbing his umbrella and following (Y/n) out of the building, “I am dying to receive an invitation to one of your parties.”

(Y/n) smiled and stopped at the main building doors, waiting for Kuroo to open the umbrella.

The two stepped out into the rain, (Y/n) pressed close to Kuroo’s side. He never said it was a big umbrella, but it got the job done.

“Well, if you can handle a drunk Bokuto then you can definitely come.” she chuckled.

Kuroo felt a small pain in his stomach. “Bokuto’s coming here to?”

“He didn’t tell you?” (Y/n) asked, allowing Kuroo to pull her closer as a crowd of students moved past the two.

“We haven't really talked since nationals...” Kuroo trailed off. He felt (Y/n)’s smaller hand grip his jacket slightly.

“Well...” she bit her lip, “he lives about 10 minutes away from campus, 5 minutes from my building. So you two will be able to reconnect.”

Kuroo stopped suddenly, earning a look of confusion from (Y/n).

“This is the campus café...” she pointed out.

“Well you never said where your building was... plus you’re shivering! I’ll buy you a coco.” Kuroo said, adding an extra sprinkle of pep to his tone. He would have liked to tell her he’d rather reconnect with her, but it was their first time seeing each other after, well, the first time they ever met.

“I really don’t have time, I’m in building C and I heard my professor is kind of a freak about people being on time.” (Y/n) sighed.

Kuroo reluctantly turned from the café and continued on with (Y/n), trying to fill the void with small talk about class and the university. Once they arrived at Building C, (Y/n) was about to walk in when a heavy weight was placed on her shoulders.

She looked from the thick jacket to Kuroo, who smiled and shrugged at her. “Since you didn’t accept my coco, take me jacket to warm up. If you get sick you can’t host any parties.”

(Y/n) tried to refuse, only for Kuroo to start walking away.

“Wait!”

“Nope, not taking it back!”

“I need your phone number!”

oh...

Kuroo quickly turned around and jogged back to her. Rather than handing him her phone, she gently took his hand and began writing her number on his palm with a sharpie she pulled from her bag.

Kuroo wouldn’t help but smile softly to himself at the sight of his larger hand in hers. God, he was never this soft or this sappy, what was she doing to him.

“I’ll talk to you later... you can buy me a hot chocolate next time it rains.” She said. Without another word she turned towards the building and ran inside.

Kuroo looked back and forth between her retreating form and the number on his hand. 

He really should have gotten that number a year ago, but better late than never.

[grlfriends]

revolutionary girl utena review

ep 1-5

the plot is actually kinda different from what I thought ?? in my mind the plot was: utena was a girl in a princess school who each and every princess would be "conquered" (for a lack of better words rn) in a ceremonial duel by a prince who fancied them, maybe she didnt wanna wanna marry anyone or she liked Anthy already but anyway in my mind utena showed up in the ceremony with duel clothing and then, in a very brave tm like-scene, she would openly declare she refused to be conquered by anyone and tbh I'm not even sure how Anthy would come into the plot... but back into what actually happened in the episodes everything so far is very introductory and just showing what mechanics will be explored further down the line I think?? the op is really good too

also every boy so far reminds me so much of knights of the zodiac?? maybe it's just the design I guess...) and nanami can get these hands, jealousy is a disease and she's the sickest person on earth for all I know

dont ask me why bit I just feel like room of mirrors - gfriend has a very well fitting vibe for it but I'm not exactly sure why hm.... 🤔🤔

ep 6-12

ok so why does this school just have random animals around 😐 I could understand the horse but a bull and a kangaroo?? what ...

touga just says the most random dramatic things and then just casually says anyone who believes in friendship is a fool ?? the guy wouldnt last a day in the naruto universe tbh, he kinda irks me in some way but I'm not sure why so I'll live with this strange feeling for a while I guess

↳ okay so watching ep 10 made me especially kinda creeped out, I know I've watched only 10 eps so far but like can he fall downstairs and break a neck or something already ...

also haha what if I watched that bet on it fmv and gave myself a bunch of spoilers would that be funny or what 😍 this is why i cant have nice things yall.... hope my memory goes to shit when sleep so I dont remember about it this week while I finish it

I feel like the main thing on the episodes are parallels, one way or another I always feel like they're setting up parallels and giving me clues for a bigger picture and a deeper plot arc that is still to come and the bet on it fmv just made this impression stronger, also I wanna say it's done in a good way, one that is both mysterious (??) and "honey you've got a big storm coming" at the same time 🤔🤔 much to think about honestly

↳ just saw ep 11 and even though I already knew this was coming sooner or later it still felt like crap seeing utena lose to dick head, at the end of the episode when he says anthy was always just reflecting utena's own wishes for himemiya (in another way bc I dont remenber the exact words) it felt like 😐 bc yes I knew that (the way she was working her thoughts was simply a copy and paste of what utena was saying) at all time I kept those essays about anthy in my head, I dont think theyll be truly relatable to what I'm seeing rn but yeah anthy rights (even though I know you betray/cheat on utena down the line bc of the bet on it fmv but I'm sure you had your own motivation)

↳ saw ep 12 bc I just couldnt handle being in a cliffhanger and yeah it happened what I absolutely thought it would lmao not that it was that difficult to foresee but yeah, I kinda liked how utena did it for her instead of being like "oh I wanna save anthy from touga" and treating her like a damsel in distress (I know that's kinda her position as the rose bride for what I've been told so far and that this is a subject spoken about in many many essays on tumblr but yeah) bc so far she's been treated as a trophy and a way to get something else, for the green haired guy it was a way to see something eternal, for miki it was a way to hold on into his "shining thing" and for touga it seems (so far) like a way to manipulate (just like he does with nanami) and just mark his position as above everyone else as he seems to view himself?? man I might be saying random stuff rn but it kinda does makes sense in my mind with the information I've had to this point

ep 13-25

honestly 😐😐 through 9 whole episodes I felt like they were trying to make the side characters deeper and show their hidden face and motivations but it felt so shallow...... not even actually shallow, just not deep enough that it would make me care about these characters and the fact there was no actual build to showing us why we're getting to know these characters backgrounds was just kinda meh too, didnt really help that all episodes had all the same formula and the same timing just for the developers made in those episodes be forgotten at the end and also just that pink haired guy could be like "ah failure again", it felt like watching the same episode over and over again, it was really tiring and like?? girl help I do not care about these characters at all, I feel like it could have been done well (like the keiko ep in comparison to the furuba chapter that deals with the yuki appreciation (??) club president graduating.... the way this ep was done and setup didn't really bring me any emotions) overall not to my taste and tbh I feel like I could have skipped all those episodes except for maybe the miki and juri one so 😑

all nanami focused episodes are the worst so far, she's so boring and I cant stand now annoying she is, the diary episode?? the cow episode?? the episode when tsuwabiki fuels with utena?? honestly I know they're trying to show me a better and different side of her but it just doesnt!! work!! bc i feel no sympathy for her, my biggest wish rn is her and touga just disappearing and no more filler episodes🗣🗣

I thought akio was utena's prince?? but apparently he's just anthy's brother and like.. I'm do done with his little talks with utena and yadda yadda, I just wanna see their duel is that too much to ask I'm dying over here (if this lenga lenga continues until ep 25 i will be so mad bc why were so many episodes wasted on such boring and and not necessary side characters backstories?? idc about them at all man aaaaaaaaaa)

↳ ep 25 was good finally we got what we deserve boys 😭😭😭😭😭 can utena just beat up akio already I'm tired of his ass, he exhales both "I'm a feminist I even take women studies classes #herstory" and "if she breathes she's a thot" energy also he has 0 style that mullet is simply horrible I bet there's a hairstylist community who considers him a criminal bc like 😐 it is simply so bad (q bit less when it's tied up but when it's all lose jesus Christ)

also touga thinks he's suuuuch a genius, sooo smart like king, I do not care about you at all can you shut the fuck up please and can we tall about the pink haired guy episode?? wack. honestly thought it would be more emotional or something, I binge watched 12 episodes with his ugly haircut face and did not even feel a thing he can choke I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ANTHY TAKING A SWORD OUT OF UTENA'S CHEST??? OSCAR WORTHY KINGS❗❗❗and then her lame ass brother being like "oh ho ho idk idk" shut up no one cares no one cares I swear to you no one cares shut uuuuup

ep 25-39

first of all, ep 25 was good but kinda reminded me of the nine episodes (13 until 21) where absolutely nothing interesting happened so I hope I'm wrong also can I just say just seeing the preview of the next episode made me roll my eyes so bad I almsot saw my brain?? bc yeah I'm fucking tired of nanami fosuced episodes she's so annoying oh my god nobody cares about a goddamn egg and much less one coming from her let her die or something pls she's so annoying there's nothing I've learned about her that was not against my own will I'm basically rotting over here ����

↳ ep 30 has me thinking Akio has a foot fetish or something 😐 bruh leave utena aloooooone I already know your plans and schemes you're not fooling anyone that's embarrassing for u and also... utena you're not very bright are you.... you start seeing every duelist you face with the same exact car and then when you see akio has the same car you didnt even stop to think about it that 1+1 equals 2 ... girl help yourself 😐

↳ yet again another nanami focused ep 😐😐😐😐😐 even though I do understand her better now I still don't find her particularly enjoyable to watch, call me a woman hater but like. idk she's still a bit annoying to me (but touga is straight up evil and is manipulating her so I feel bad for feeling like that tho.....)

↳ ok last 2 eps to go but listen. I thought the akio duel would have happened much sooner, maybe on ep 33 max but well didn't this age well lmao ngl, it did seem a bit too slow paced for my personal taste but also I feel like there's a certain level of drama that comes with slowing the pace down....

↳ aaaaaa yall I'm kinda 😢😭 over the ending omg........... even though it took the best of me to keep going in some parts I still enjoyed the ending aaaaa I thought i wouldnt really like it bc I just usually dont enjoy this type of ending but stil 😢😢😢😢 wait for me utena 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 girl I cried and then anthy walking in the end god utena and anthy holding hands 😭😭😭😭 akio can suck my dick

there's obviously many things I've missed or that I kinda didnt really pay attendance to so please dont take this serious, I was just writing as I watched the episodes so it's more like a thought compilation than anything, still I can see why there's many essays written about it and why it is held as a masterpiece by so many people

[malefi-andromeda]

Long Winding Road Stay Strapped My Dude

By: Astoria Cathryn Andromeda

Alrighty, this is a long one boys. So I touched briefly on this in my Welcome to Literally Everything post. No worries I'll recap you, so you don't have to switch back and forth. I just diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, and then ADHD when I was 18 years old, and even then I had to fight for it after countless hours of research. See, there seems to be a wee bit of misogyny in the neurodiverse diagnoses. When I say a wee bit, I mean that scientists used to think that only boy could be autistic or ADHD. They only studied autism in males. Fortunately, nowadays we know that girls can be autistic and/or ADHD, but we present the traits differently than boys, and a lot of our traits are played off due to gender roles in society. For example, being overly talkative in girls is called chatty, whereas boys who can't sit still are sent off for testing immediately. This also causes problems for the boys, because little Johnny gets put on Adderall at the ripe age of 6 years old, just because he can't sit still for 8 hours straight, which by the way should not be expected of any elementary school kid, By the time, he's 25 he's 1) completely dependent on amphetamines 2) his body will stop producing dopamine due to being on the medication for so long. Nicht Gut. Generally, boys who are on the spectrum get picked out earlier due to late speaking, or lack of social skills. This is the one thing that girls happen to do better than boys. Girls are good at masking, which is basically taking social traits, phrases, personalities, demeanor, and copying them. In public, they put on a mask and at home, they have a meltdown. Girls are still not picked up as being on the spectrum, because shyness is called being 'ladylike' and 'dainty', and having a meltdown is just because :( girls are oh-so emotional, boohoo. Anyways tons of women do not get diagnosed with autism until they are well into their adulthood, I actually can be considered lucky to have technically still been a teenager when we finally got all the pieces together.

Alright, let's start with I don't know me as a baby. I did not speak until I was 2 years old, and then it was immediately full sentences from then on. I didn't do the babbling thing, which I don't know how impactful that really is to the topic. I was a very shy little girl. I was teeny tiny, we didn't know I if I was going to make it to 5 feet tall until I had a big growth spurt in 7th grade. I am 5'2 now and definitely done growing in case you were wondering, so not that short anymore. I did not like talking to adults, especially strangers, especially men. I did not look anyone in the face, and I will always hide behind my parent's legs when they would try to introduce me to people. I am an only child, and I spent a lot of time entertaining myself. I always had seasonal affective disorder, where my grades would dip in the winter. My parents knew I had a timer, they had 45 minutes from the moment they stepped into a restaurant before I would start breaking down. If I got off schedule as a toddler in any form, it was a catastrophe. Or this is what my parents and family tell me. I didn't really notice. I did not like being out in public a lot, I was a very picky eater, and I was extremely hyper. I was a very eccentric child, I only had 1-2 close friends and they were always a very well-liked outgoing girl who I just followed around. Looking back, I don't know how we missed it. I was shy because I didn't understand how social interactions worked, I was anxious about it because I didn't understand, I had sensory overloads, routines, and a very bland diet with a safe food which was ketchup. I put that shit on literally everything, eas, apples, mac and cheese, pizza, all meat, anything something forced me to eat that I did not like. But because I could sit still in class, and because I could zone out and daydream all day through school and still make A's nobody ever flagged me for anything and how I was supposed to know that not everybody just copied other people, scripted things before they talked, and could never pay attention. My mom always required me to be in a sport, and I was a gymnast and a swimmer for a long time, two very high-intensity sports, to help lower my energy levels, and because my mom has mild depression and she knows that exercise does help. Skip to middle school, my mom tells me I'm being bullied at church. It's not that I wasn't observing my surroundings I knew I was being excluded, but I didn't understand vindictive behavior, I thought it was my fault. I had zero friends in 8th grade until I sat down next to a random acqutaince I had gone to school with since I was 4 and the same gymnastics place. Then we were immediately attached at the hip after that. She is my best friend due this day and definitely got me through high school. Led me through so many social situations without either of us knowing. I had a very close friendgroup in highschool, all of them were on the drumline which I met through my best friend, and my first boyfriend was my best friend's neighbor. I ended up playing bass guitar for my high school's indoor drumline, and it was the best experience ever. I love my friends, but I had really bad depression when I was 15-now:) jk It's better. I didn't really realize I was depressed, I just didn't want to go to school, or swim practice, or do anything so of course, my mom noticed, and then once it was pointed out to me it got worse. My severe anxiety spiraled with my depression. Senior year of high school, my boyfriend and I were like toxic star crossed lovers, hurting each other over and over again without meaning to. My friends and I were self harming, all my close friends gad some demon going on. I finally decided to try therapy again after the disaster of being forced to go when I was 15 and the lady told me I wasn't depressed because I had a boyfriend and good grades. It helped a bit, I was able to get my panic attacks under control. Then I went away to college and stayed dating my senior high school boyfriend, we were just up and down as always, but with slightly better communication. My freshman year of college I joined a fraternity, a research lab, and my first hs boyfriend/ex/best friend and I went to a Christian campus place. By second semester, I had a lot of people who knew me and talked to me, but I didn't have any close friends, and even less close friends who were girls. All my close friends who were girls were at another college. My parents were worried about me, so they made me rush a sorority, which I knew was never my scene, but my parents made me join and I found a few girls I liked. Soon I was going to 6 classes, fraternity chapter, research lab meetings, christain crash group meetings, soriorty pledge meetings all on every Tuesday. I was different person at each of these events and wore a different mask. I was having what I know now were autistic burnout meltdowns every single day on the phone in my crusty dorm's stairwell. It was not cute. His mental health had always been bad too. Finally I decide I need to try a psychatrist and go back to therapy, and then he broke up with me. Then I made my first close friend, a guy who was in 3 of classes, and I took him to my fraternity's formal, and then coronavirus happened.  Rona kinda saved my grades, and mental health by sending us home event though it did suck. I got on anti-anxiety meds and things went up, but I was still having what I thought were panic attacks, they were austistic meltdowns. My psychiatrist, he's kinda an asshole, he diagnosed me with Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. I'll insert definition here: (OCPD) is a personality disorder that's characterized by extreme perfectionism, order, and neatness. People with OCPD will also feel a severe need to impose their own standards on their outside environment.> Basically hr told me I had rules for everything like how everyone drives on the right side of the road, but nobodythinks about it andwhen I broke one of my rules I got depressed, and when wasn't perfect I got depressed, and when I made an A I was relieved not proud. The diagnosis seemed to fit really well, and my therapist and I started working finding my rules, and getting rid of the bad ones, and making the others less harsh. I had thought every once and in a while in my life when I was really upset, what if I'm on the spectrum, because I just felt so hopeless for social interactions and I didn't understand. I always felt like I was a very specific person, but after the ocpd I started thinking more and more, and I saw a tik tok of a girl with lae diagnosed autism basically describing me and ranting about the misogyny. I did more research and I decide, yea I'mm gonna bring it up to mypsychatrist well he's a dick, so he was like um you don't act like sheldon cooper from the Big Bang theory,and I was like wellI just I have always thought I might have adhd like be neureodiverse, and he was like your grade point average in hs was a 97.8%, you're not adhd. I immediately cried, because I can't handle when anyone says anything in a even a slightest stringent tone. I'm baby, I know lmao. It made me angry though because I felt like he just brushed away all of my struggles I had in my whole life. I spent hours researching and typed up a 47 page document on evidence for why I was on the spectrum, and had my parents help will some of checklists to make sure I was getting outside perspectives. I rally my parents to be my back up and next psychiatrist appointment we actually talk about it and he asked my parents questions about when I was young and such and finally he was okay you're on the spectrum. I felt so validated and like I could start being myself. I slowly got more and more confident, changed my style of clothing, and researched more about adhd pushed to be tested, and oh look at that I also have ADHD. So basically discourse: "I feel like as a child I coded a machine to do life for me so I didn’t get bothered except I didn’t know about the machine I thought i was the machine and now I’ve become self aware and I have to learn how to read the code and rewrite the code because it’s dysfunctional because I’m not functioning well as a human being. I was really shy as a child. I would turn beat red when people talked to me or looked at me so I think I started cookie cutting situations and using them over and over again because they worked until I accidentally hard wired these expansion rules and expectations for myself. I didn’t may attention is class ever I just day dreamed and if I got good grades i wouldn’t be bothered i could just stay in my head and if I did my sport well my parents didn’t bother me. I was never asked if I did my homework I just did it so I wouldn’t be asked and have to deal with that situation. I would cookie cutter situations in class that would draw the least attention to myself.

I feel like i don’t have friends I just fulfill the expectation like a side quest on video games" I wrote this down pre autism confirmation when i just thought I had ocpd. Now I don't directly identify with ocpd, but I definitely think I developed that personality disorder a bit from living with undiagnosed autism. I am linking below the very informative Tik Toks by the lovely Paige on autism in girls. The imposter syndrome one really hit home. I had had so many panic attacks about thinking I tricked people into being my friend, or thinking I was smart.

I highly suggest watching these short tik toks, you'll definitely learn something

https://vm.tiktok.com/wVvcYA/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wqRRUf/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wnqhvX/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wqeyYg/

https://vm.tiktok.com/wnoE7u/

https://vm.tiktok.com/Kas6gB/

https://vm.tiktok.com/owM9hs/

Imposter syndrome

I am also linking an article about Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory and Autism that explains why my psychiatrist was wrong, and also I am a girl and the spectrum is called a spectrum because it's a fucking spectrum no two autistic people are exactly the same it's like a color wheel.

http://www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/problem-sheldon-cooper-and-cute-autism-387783

Here is a fun comic about the spectrum and how to view it.

https://the-art-of-autism.com/understanding-the-spectrum-a-comic-strip-explanation/

I am still learning about myself, and how to be me, and how to be myself but without breaking bad social rules. It's quite humorous though because I'll learn something is related to autism and I'm like oh shit again, like still, like, we're still discovering things.

"Tu ne me manques pas"

Bis später,

Astoria.

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Fruits Basket 2019 2nd Season Ep7: “Let’s Start The Watermelon-Splitting Contest!”

Even though we’ve technically skipped a few chapters that’ll probably be adapted later, this episode covers the end of volume 10 of the manga, which is a pretty big milestone, and they certainly made this episode appropriately dramatic and intense, lol.

Also it just puts into perspective how far we still have to go, since that’s 10 volumes adapted out of a 23-volume series. In case you needed another reminder that even if it hasn’t been officially announced, we’re definitely getting a third season after this.

Anyway, thoughts under the cut.

Just to get the broad structural stuff out the way, this episode adapts chapters 58 and 59, which still leaves 56 and 57 to be adapted whenever they want to get around to it. But the next episode’s title is taken from chapter 60, so I don’t think we’re getting the Hatori/Mayu episode until at least the beach arc is entirely done. Which is for the best, since it’s getting more and more obvious that sliding it into any point in the middle of the beach arc would have really hurt the pacing.

And unlike how the last couple of episodes have taken different kinds of artistic liberties to condense, stretch, and rearrange the material, this episode is a pretty much 1:1 adaptation of the manga, with no real major changes I can think of, aside from it starting with a flashforward to a scene later in the episode, and them cutting out some vague references to the Hatori/Mayu part since that hasn’t happened yet in the anime.

I’m not even a huge fan of Yuki and his whole character arc, which is what this episode mainly revolves around, but I still think it was executed extremely well. Some of the art and animation has been a bit iffy in this season thus far, but they really went all in to make this episode super pretty and cinematic, especially the entire ending sequence between Yuki and Tohru, with them even breaking out a new insert song.

In general this episode is where things really start to come to a head with Yuki as he gets forced to confront his trauma and his repressed feelings, and it’s given all the emotional weight and drama that it deserves. This is far from the end of his arc, or his role in the story, and it’s not even the end of the hat storyline, but it’s a pretty climactic moment either way.

It’s not like they changed anything, but at least from the perspective of knowing how things go, I appreciate how much effort they put into conveying the fact that Yuki sees Tohru as a maternal figure, without it being super obvious just yet. Part of this is the fact that apparently the original Tokyopop manga translation had Yuki say at the end of the final scene that he straight up loves Tohru, which probably contributed to a lot of people not really understanding what the author was actually going for with him, and thankfully the anime subs worded it properly.

This is also the start of Akito officially stirring shit up in the beach arc, and the drama’s already in full swing with that, which inevitably raises the topic of how I just don’t really like most of the writing involving her, lmao. I don’t want to be a broken record or anything, but at least in this arc, I think it’s pretty fair to say that she’s effectively just a flat villain, no matter how realistic it is, or how much it gets explored later. It’s still just not very interesting to watch. Plus there’s the whole fact that this episode also further hammers in the recurring stuff with her being physically intimate and clingy with the older male zodiac members, and the more I see anime-only people’s reactions, the more confident I am in my position in saying that that sorta stuff just makes the “big twist” blindingly obvious, because it’s literally exactly what your first guess would be, if you have ANY familiarity with these sorts of tropes. It really is just as simple as it seems, lol.

Though on the other hand I think it’s a bit weird how many people I’ve seen who straight up don’t understand why nobody stands up to Akito. I mean, on one level there’s the whole supernatural curse thing going on, and there’s at least some degree of cultural values and so on at play, but mostly it’s just a pretty universal example of an abusive family dynamic in action, and I think it should be pretty understandable why people can’t stand up against the person that abuses them. It’s a bit less obvious in the case of the zodiac members who are literally older than Akito, but even then I don’t think it’s that hard to just assume that the abusive dynamic also extends to them, and that it’s also a consequence of how Akito is just the newest family head in a long line of the Soma family’s history. So even before she was born there always would have been the environment and culture of abuse and isolation, which Akito just inherited the leadership of.

But anyway, that aside, this episode ALSO gives us even more extremely soft and fluffy moments between Kyo and Tohru that further show off how much their relationship is developing, and how much they’re growing to understand each other. There’s not really a whole lot to say about that just yet because the Kyo-focused part of this arc hasn’t truly started with, but still, all of those moments were extremely good.

There’s also more stuff about showing Kureno’s unique role in the zodiac, and all of the various mysteries and questions it raises, but the story hasn’t gotten into that just yet.

That’s basically all there is to say about this episode, though on a side note I’ve basically given up all hope of them actually adding Ritsu into this arc, lmao. I think if they were gonna include him, he would have been shown already. At most they might at least mention him in the next episode when we see Kagura again, but that’s about it.

[ryouverua]

A Certain Lab, Reprised

lab get lab get lab get lab get LAB GET

Everything around us is either exploding or on fire so Sweetcheeks and I are going to retreat to our space safe, investigating

am I talking about the school exploding or tumblr

we just don’t know

Speak of the devil!

“I AM HERE!!!”

“K1-B0 THeRE WAS AN OPEN WINDOW OH MY GOD, THERE’S GLASS EVERYWHERE, OH NO -”

“OH YEAH!”

Didn’t really wait at all tbh 8′D

Actually all jokes aside Sweetcheeks is right, it was hella cool - and also thank god he was in the hallway and far away from the window! K1-b0 keeps asking if Shuichi is okay but is being incredibly reckless at the same time - what if Shuichi had been showered with that glass? He wouldn’t come out of that unscathed. Was that just K1-b0 taking more of his uncorked anger out on the school?

... Hm, though I guess calling it ‘anger’ isn’t quite right. Or, at least, K1-b0’s fluctuating between ‘anger’ and sort of... more... ‘grim determination’.

Yeah, he didn’t even flinch at being complimented. He’s got serious tunnel vision right now.

Damn.

LMAO SHUICHI’S SCREEN -

There’s only one other place I can think of that qualifies...

DON’T YOU DARE SHUICHI WE FINALLY GOT HERE AND I HAVE QUESTIONS

Oh thank god I want to satisfy my curiosity about the library as much as you do but RANTARO’S TALENT FIRST

Again - damn, K1-b0.

Whoa -

..... This has a very YGO Season 0 vibe. Sorry, that’s a weird comment. Maybe the better way to describe it is that the words ‘punishment game’ immediately come to mind? Some sorta wheel/puzzle thing in the back, cards hanging from the ceiling, some sort of... table...? Kinda reminds me of a poker table, though there’s no center to it... Maybe he... really did specialize in death games...?

Actually, if Celeste had an Ultimate Lab, I feel like it would have a similar aesthetic ~

IT’S HIS SOUL ROOM WE’RE IN RANTARO’S SOUL ROOM

“Yeah so I never shared with you all, but part of the Ultimate Detective status includes the ability to shoot spirit energy from your finger like a gun -”

I don’t think that’s completely wrong but I feel like the actual talent name is going to be x100 times more ominous. 8′D

MAN end-game Himiko is so different than early-game Himiko! Nice to have you onboard - wait, I just realized we’ve got a magician sidekick helping us in an investigation. Is this the right time to make an Ace Attorney reference, or -

Okay, huh. There’s actually way less to click on than I thought there would be. WHAT IS WITH THE MOST CRYPTIC PEOPLE HAVING THE LEAST INTERACTIVE ROOMS, COME ON DRV3 -

Okay, that laptop first:

Empty laptop.... okay, let’s set that aside for now.

Here’s the real question - what came first? The K1-b0 we knew for the first five chapters or this K1-b0? Which one should we consider to be the ‘true’ K1-b0? I think the game is implying that this is the real K1-b0, and the one who we knew up until now was a ‘controlled’ version of him - but at the same time, if the antenna was built in with him, could it be considered part of the original design and therefore part-and-parcel of K1-b0?

omfg I just realized the implications of a white-haired boy hearing a voice (that he literally calls ‘voice’) in his head who may or may not be controlling him behind the scenes be still my heart you’re getting distracted

WHELP THERE’S REALLY ONLY ONE OTHER THING TO CLICK HERE SO -

Like a safe?

......... Omfg it says ‘B’ and ‘A’ on them and it has pictograms on them. Is... this going where I think this is going...

Okay Himiko is being our in-game tutorial and noting that the zodiac is on one side and astrological signs are on the other but honestly I’m fine to skip all past it tbh because there it is, there’s our fucking ‘horse a’ and ‘twin b’ is gemini, Kokichi himself was a gemini, this was where we were going with those hints??? Rantaro’s lab?! idk I just don’t find puzzles like this hard I kinda thrive off of symbolism and mythology in general 8′D

Wait.... doesn’t that mean Kokichi couldn’t have been the one to leave those messages behind?!

Okay this was pretty cute so I left this in ~ but straight up two minutes later it was just a string of KACHUNK KACHUNK KACHUNK until I got it open immediately -

.... the symbols are weirdly cute though, hehe ~

Don’t worry Sweetcheeks, the only life-threatening time-waster we’ll spend all of our time on is fluff text!

Aaaaaaand done. Thanks Kokichi!

MAN I LOVE THESE TWO SPRITES TOGETHER FOR SOME REASON

Ah, so they’re talking about the stone with ‘horse a’ written on it - which... does make me curious, honestly. I think the existence of this safe pretty much confirms that he didn’t write the original message... right?

When did the letters start appearing aside from ‘horse a’? Chapter 3? Was that around the time he concocted that particular plan, then?

H-Hey now, he’s also the reason we found the second clue. 8′D I mean, it wouldn’t have been terrible to go through 12 different combinations with ‘horse a’ determined, but it wouldn’t have been ideal.

i bet you can buy that, that is literally perfect DR merch

IT’S

THE VIDEO

THE VIDEO!!!!

yeah I’m totally going to pull up my old post to see what matches and what doesn’t

“Oh god I forgot how absolutely stunning he was.”

OH I thought that was an abstract red background, silly me - 8′D well, that was probably the point. It might give away the game if we saw something more concrete behind him way back in... what, Chapter 4?

Anyway, more importantly, Rantaro shouldn’t have had access to this place... except he clearly did. So... he... must have been here before. And he knew more about the killing game, or seemed to intuitively know more, than anyone else. He... must have done this before. Except he had made it all the way here last time??? So there is a loop of some sort? Though it can’t be an outright time loop because otherwise there would be no need to record a video (unless like I considered it’s a ‘simulated’ time loop, aka VR-style like last game)...

This makes me wonder how we saw the video the first time. Was it just another flashback/tease like the meteorites were, before we saw the flashback lights?

I mean, I guess it’s kinda hard for recording!Rantaro to prove, but we’ll have to take him at his word here I suppose. 8′D

OH

OKAY

WE’RE JUST GOING STRAIGHT INTO IT THEN

are you telling me you were the protagonist in the last killing game

DIDN’T YOU HAVE LIKE, TWO AHOGES TOO

Man, what an asshole move??? Like, okay, Monokuma’s creating the puzzle of the safe which would unlock this video. Fine. But almost half of the class would have to be dead in order for him to get to it! There’s no way for him to even start the puzzle at this point, because he wouldn’t know it existed! What a huge handicap!

......... Something.... he had.... since the beginning............. Hm. I’m drawing a blank. I don’t remember anything in particular that stands out....

My dead boy, that is an understatement.

AHAHAHA ABOUT THAT....

Now this makes me wonder if he is the only one repeating it or if anyone else is? Well, maybe the mastermind - but like, maybe everyone is repeating it, but only those who ‘won’ were able to have better memories, or were just able to retain the memories of the last game better than the others?

Or, hell, if I want to go along with my previous theory about downloading the memories of students, maybe... Rantaro can remember more about his real self? Or something? But everyone else can’t?

And if he’s really someone who won the previous one (along with one other person, I suppose), then he knows that for a fact.

???!?! Aaaah this part got cut off last time too - so it was actually cut off in the video, and not just in our flashback?!

“You’re also dead, which may make things a little bit more difficult, but I still believe in you!”

That at least I expected -

WHAT

OH GOD THERE ARE SO MANY LAYERS TO THIS

like the dramatic irony I’m sure the fandom has done to death, for example

What about the second person??? Is there a second Ultimate Survivor???? I guess there can’t be since everyone else knows their talents but -

wait, if you’re the Ultimate Survivor because you won a killing game, who were you in the last game????

Does this really give him an advantage though??? I guess the information would have been nice but I mean, it obviously didn’t do him much good because he got taken out so quickly!

Man this makes me wonder if Kokichi had any inkling of this...

jsyk since I have the screenshots side to side, his expression is different in this video compared to the last one

~ fun facts ~

Yeah, see, the ‘he wanted’ part is throwing me off. He participated, sure, and he didn’t say he wanted the original one, but he came back for round two and said he wanted it.... but why???? That implies there’s a purpose to it, and he was okay to gamble his own life - but also, as a person without his memories of this, he wanted to stop the game. If the chip he bet is his own life, the reward must be huge, right? He won these supposed perks for this game, but what did he win for his life outside the game? .... Assuming there is anything outside the game? Is there anything for him outside the game?

HIMIKO DON’T BE RUDE

Yeah, she didn’t know the identity of her target. 8′\ Also I’d be sad if it was Kaede in the end. Second also! I know that she ended up being the first chapter killer and I’m one of the people got taken by surprise by that, but we were in her head for that whole chapter! Her motive made sense - but for her to end up being the mastermind now? That wouldn’t make sense, based on what we know of her, memory shenanigans aside!

That would require the mastermind to have knowledge of Shuichi and Kaede’s plan then, right? So they would have had to draw Rantaro to the library somehow, so he would get caught in Kaede’s trap...

It... should be one of a kind, considering the circumstances...

Yeah I’m still wracking my brain and not coming up with anything there. Could it have to do with his necklace? It did make me think of that ‘soldier tag’ present, about remembering someone who they lost. That would be an incredibly appropriate, if not cruel, ‘survivor’s perk’ present for someone who survived a killing game.

Man are we going to get a new flashback for every place we investigate???

OH SHIT IT’S BACK

FLASHBACK LIGHT!!!

you can pry the flashback light animation from my cold dead hands

?!?!?!

Immediate thoughts - generic students. But, are they? Is there any chance that they look generic on the face of it, but are actually representative of people in the class? I don’t see anything that could be an immediate match (Korekiyo = masked guy, Kokichi = small guy with similarly shaped hair/short stature/face, Kaito = tall guy, maybe), and they seem to have different VAs - hell, is that Jounouchi (or for the proper DR character, Munakata)’s seiyuu?

...... or the guy with the sick mask could just be sick lmao

Ah, so this is from when the virus began to ravage the population...

That seems like an understatement 8′D But at least we know for sure when in the timeline this takes place! Shuichi doesn’t seem to know they’re going to be the only survivors yet, but they’ve already been presumably screened for the Gopher Project which means it is well under way.

Calm down Sigma Klim -

Shuichi hasn’t told them he swings both ways, huh.

OH GOD RIGHT IN THE KAITO

DO YOU GET IT YET SHUICHI, YOU ARE THEIR HOPE

Don’t mind me, just wanted to make sure Shuichi didn’t miss the cryptic message left for him in these memories -

Not only that, but these aren’t memories meant to act as a reward for completing a stage like the other ones or even one they found - this was literally forced on them. It’s supposed to be Monokuma’s weapon against them. So... similar to the motive from the last trial, it’s trying to make them take action...?

And it’s clearly working!

... Maybe it isn’t the necklace then. I mean, he was wearing it when he died right??? And his body is gone...

Oh man unless just like everyone else there were copies of it along with the rest of it in his room - except there are 15, one for all the participants for the last game or something -

It might be 50/50 right now??? There’s something screwy going on, I just don’t know what.

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: The Assassin’s Blade, Ch 21-22

I got nothing lads. This book is draining me of my soul.

Celaena lay on her cloak, trying to imagine that the sand was her down mattress in Rifthold, and that she wasn’t completely exposed to the elements in the middle of the desert. The last thing she needed was to wake up with a scorpion in her hair.

Stop teasing me with ways to kill Celery’s ass off, SJM.

“I’ve got sand in every crevice of my body,” Celaena muttered, squirming as she felt it grind against her skin. (...) “Are you sure you’re Celaena Sardothien? Because I don’t think she’d actually be this fussy. I bet she’s used to roughing it.”

Holy shit, this is... self awareness? Ansel calling Celery out on being a useless dumbass? I am so baffled. Is SJM trolling us at this point, or does she just. genuinely not understand how terrible her characters are?

Ansel blathers on about the witches and their queens or whatnot, which just makes me yearn for the Manon POVs in E0S (the first half, anyways). I truly took them for granted :’(

Ansel let out a low hiss. “Some witches, like the Crochans, were gifted with ethereal beauty. But the Ironteeth Clans have iron teeth, sharp as a fish’s.

There’s that stupid fish teeth comparison again.  I have no problem with repeated phrases in a book series (as long as you know, they’re not repeated every other five pages in each book) but this is just... dumb.

Ansel says that one of her childhood friends was eaten by a witch when she was little, which is so boring and non-important I’m skipping it, then they go to sleep. The next morning they go to their destination which is in the market place.

Many people stopped to stare at her red hair and matching eyes, but Ansel took it in stride. Even without her armor, she was stunning. Celaena tried not to think about how few people bothered to notice her.

I don’t give a flying fuck about Celery’s feefees over not getting any special attention I do not!!!!! give a single fuck!!!!!!! I am going to rip this stupid book in half once I’m done reading it.

Ansel won’t let Celery actually go with her to meet with some dude, so she leaves her stranded in the middle of a busy marketplace. Lmao.

In Rifthold, she had a line of credit at all her favorite stores,

you fucking wot m8

There were a few hired guards standing around the covered wagon, and a tall, lean man stood behind the table displayed in front of it. But it wasn’t the guards or the man or his wagon that grabbed her attention. No, it was what was on his table that knocked the breath from her and made her curse her too-light money purse. Spidersilk.

Oh hey, that thing that was used later with the witches.... cool. I’ll take it over an asspull plot twist any day, tbh.

There were legends about the horse-sized stygian spiders that lurked in the woods of the Ruhnn Mountains of the north, spinning their thread for hefty costs. Some said they offered it in exchange for human flesh; others claimed the spiders dealt in years and dreams, and could take either as payment.

Damn, those giant spiders sound waaaay cooler than the shitty Fae in later novels. Why can’t this book be about them? Honestly, I ask myself that far too often when reading these novels.

Celery chats with the guy who has the Spidersilk and it’s just nothing worth noting, so I’m skimming through the details.

She raised her chin. “I turned seventeen two weeks ago.” And what a miserable birthday that had been. Trudging across the desert with no one to celebrate with except her recalcitrant guide, who just patted her shoulder when she announced it was her birthday. Horrible.

SJM expects me to feel sorry for this bitch. That’s cute.

The dude reveals that some of the silent assassins secretly work for Lord Berick.

But Celaena tucked the information away for later. Were some of the Silent Assassins actually working for Berick? Perhaps that was why Ansel had insisted on keeping the meeting so secret—maybe the Master didn’t want the names of the suspected traitors getting out.

So yeah, it’s pretty obvious Ansel is more than likely one of those traitors, but of course Celery doesn’t even consider this because of...reasons. Considering the possibility of such a thing would require for her brain to work, and as we all know, Celery doesn’t own a functioning brain.

Celery tells the guy to ask Arobynn for her if he ever needs her services, so he gives her some Spidersilk.

“A reminder of what?” She shut the lid and tucked the small box into the inner pocket of her white tunic. The merchant smiled sadly. “That everything has a price.” A phantom pain flashed through her face. “I know,” she said, and left.

Oh, it’s just like I’m a young teenager reading this for the first time puzzling over what this meant, not knowing the shitstorm that awaited me in later novels. Truly, they were easier times!

Ansel shows up later to drag Celery over to a pen where there are some horses. Apparently the horses belong to Lord Berick, so Ansel and Celery steal them and leave, ending the chapter. Very little is happening now, but I’ll take it over the pile of dogshit  that were the previous two chapters.

Next chapter, Ansel and Celery ride into the desert being chased by guards.

And just like that, the dunes parted to reveal the turquoise expanse of the Gulf of Oro. The cool sea breeze kissed her face, and Celaena leaned into it, almost moaning with pleasure.

Maybe a nitpick, but am I the only one completely weirded out when “moaning with pleasure” is used for shit like this? Like, when people describe a character moaning when they eat good food it’s so baffling to me because it’s giving me a mental image of sexual pleasure, but they’re just eating food?? Is Celery having an orgasm rn because there’s a cool breeze?

Ansel cut away, surging toward the dunes and the giant wall of rock that arose nearby. The Desert Cleaver, if Celaena knew her geography correctly—which she did, as she’d studied maps of the Deserted Land for weeks now.

I find it very hard to believe entitled Celery who thinks everything should just be handed to her on a silver platter would devote so much time to studying and working.

A narrow opening in the wall of red rock appeared, twisting away from sight. Ansel headed straight toward it. How dare she make such a reckless, stupid decision without consulting Celaena first?

You mean like Alien does later in E0S? Holy shit, this just emphasizes how little SJM plans things out for her books. Her characters actually lose development and intelligence as the series progresses. That is actually fucking hilarious and I’ve never seen the likes of it in any other shitty YA series. Holy smokes.

Though the guards still remained a good distance away, they were close enough for Celaena to see the weapons, including longbows, strapped to them.

But I bet they’re not going to use them, like the guards from E0S that didn’t use their crossbows, because of plot reasons.

They outrun the guards and Celery punches Ansel then they stop for the night. Lmao at how much shit was crammed in the previous chapters but these ones are just... nothing.

Apparently Ansel lied to the Mute Master about her backstory. Her old home was ravaged by some Lord Loch dude and all of her family was killed so she ended up training with the silent assassins for revenge or something. Ansel is just a not quite as shitty Celery clone, so I have little reason to care about her.

Celaena hadn’t realized she was crying until she tried to take a deep breath. Saying that she was sorry didn’t feel adequate. She knew what this sort of loss was like, and words didn’t do anything at all.

Oh my god fuck off Celery, Ansel isn’t telling you her backstory for you to feel sorry about your own poor feefees, literally no one gives a shit about you. Please, take a hike off the nearest cliff and spare me the agony of having to think about you anymore.

Celery and Ansel talk about how all men are evil and shit and then the chapter ends. Fuck this stupid fucking bullshit. This might actually be worse than E0S. That’s right, I said it, don’t @ me.

[resurrged]

AN ANALYSIS OF CHARACTER DECISIONS THE WARRIORS    /     AND WHY YMIR CHOSE ‘THEIR SIDE’      —

                   first and foremost, let me just address some incredibly important tidbits on my own interpretation of ymir’s characterization,  just because it’ll set the fact that this whole post is pretty ?? against the grain to everything i’ve seen on ymir so far & affects a lot on how i play her.

one :       her death was necessary, and she was likely set to die from the start.

this manga is meant to tug at your heartstrings, and ymir’s death, to me, is probably the best one to hit that bullet.  no one’s getting a truly happy ending, and ymir’s was beautifully forlorn.  the best isa has done in building a character just to crush them in the worst way possible, imo. and i mean, yeah, sure— would it have been NICE to see ymir overcome this and find a happy medium? yeah, totally. BUT THIS ISN’T THAT KIND OF STORY ???? it’s not like she really has the chance to work on it fully & like holy shit y’all we literally watched the main protagonist get EATEN within the first 4 chapters what do you expect ????

two :       ymir leaving does not, in any way,  “go entirely against her character”  by choosing R&B over historia

in fact, it aligns perfectly with every aspect of it —  as per isayama’s given outline / point focuses when it comes to her.

as much as she cherishes, supports, and loves the girl, YMIR IS SO MUCH MORE THAN HER ATTACHMENT TO HISTORIA OH mY GoD

THE WHOLE RELATIONSHIP IS LITERALLY A PRIME EXAMPLE OF WHO SHE IS NOT HOW SHE BECAME THAT WAY.

now back to randy with the news

PERSONALITY     /          ymir had always been looking out for others, with a particular emphasis on historia, sure, more on that later— but we see how someone like reiner was instantly able to clue into how something apparently crass, such as laughing ruthlessly at connie’s “idea”,  had been done to look out for him.  

she’s clearly close to her comrades, and we see her being physically touchy with both connie and eren without either of them twitching away / reacting like this is strange.  even though she’s known to behave boorishly, she has this level of closeness with them, something that wouldn’t be a thing if they were truly on bad terms, as her bluntness would often imply.  they seem to all have a comfortable friendship / understanding, one that recognizes she isn’t inherently looking to shit all over them 24/7.   even when she had the chance to simply save historia alone during the CoT arc, she went out of her way to ensure she got all 4 cadets that were left on the tower.   not to mention she saved erwin despite being right pissed at him at the time, something she honestly had no reason to do.   so no, historia isn’t the only person on her mind 24/7.

as much as ymir has said her goal was to live her new life for herself, she was never able to.  we see time and time again that ymir tries to be crass, tries to be blunt, gives in to being selfless, and then tries to play it off.  she’s trying to force herself to change, but it doesn’t work.  at no point in the series had it ever worked.  nothing about her inherent character changed, she never received ‘character development’ on that end, but guess what? that’s actually an incredibly realistic development. she realizes & succumbs to the fact that she was doomed from the start. i cannot emphasize enough how hard it is to change something so integral about who you are as a person. it takes a lot to do that.  we have an entire section of our brains dedicated to not doing it.  

in fact, no character in snk has gone through dramatic change without struggle or major prompting ( levi had to watch his comrades die, mikasa had to break her superior’s leg, and most importantly in this context, historia had to watch her best friend leave her ) .   and NONE of these happened in a flash, either. we have a 6-year skip to levi’s current behaviour, which is still crass / cold even if it is more selfless.  mikasa needs to be reminded of watching how her attachment plays into her choices during the serum bowl before succumbing, and (listen up this is important) historia only truly listens to ymir’s words of advice when confronting her father.  don’t forget that these two had known each other for years before current events, and ymir had been trying to get historia to stop acting the way she does the entire time.  WHICH MAKES SENSE.  in real life, PEOPLE DON’T JUST CHOOSE TO ‘CHANGE’.  it happens naturally, with a shitton of effort and mistakes, if at all. and i’m convinced isayama knows this.

in the end, ymir succumbs to her own state, a doleful  ‘i guess some things never change’  in giving herself up for reiner & bertolt to take.   she feels indebted to them, and knows she can’t deal with the guilt of it, and she’s done trying.  she got her second shot at life and couldn’t ever complete the one task she set out for herself : to just live for her own sake.  

she is pathetic, and i think that’s what porco was getting at in referencing her memories in the marley arc.  and i think his choice of words are really intriguing here? because he uses “を返し[て]くれ[た]” to refer to ymir giving her his brother’s titan back, with both を返し and くれる being things you typically say about someone who’s doing you a genuine favor, like out of good will.  the way he’s saying this aligns heavily with how ymir felt she was indebted to them, despite how he clearly disagrees with her views by calling her straight up pathetic for them lmao.  

the last things we hear her say are that it “doesn’t feel so bad to be a goddess”, again emphasizing that she does these things because they are, in essence, what makes her feel nice.  she feels genuine happiness in giving herself up.  a feeling that goes unmatched by any selfish deed she could ever do.  she even mentions in her letter that she has no regrets, likely through finally realizing this very fact and being able to put it into words, as before we see she doesn’t quite understand the behaviour herself.  and she mentions she regrets nothing, save for getting to marry historia, as if saying maybe this was the very thing that would have possibly felt just as nice.  

so again, i emphasize— she wanted to live selfishly for the rest of her new life, knows she should be happy that way, like everyone else seems to be — but in the end, she couldn’t.  not because of stupid plot devices, but because she genuinely couldn't live with herself unless she did.  when she apologizes to historia, i’m convinced it’s not just for abandoning her, but for proving she’s been nothing but one huge, fake hypocrite this whole time.   after all, ymir’s just like her ;  she wants to do good, wants to help others, and can’t fathom the thought of ever feeling worthy enough for a shot at true happiness.  really, she was being selfish to the end, as she was chasing what made herself feel good as opposed to what someone like historia might have preferred from her, or what R&B even offered to let her do.

HISTORIA     /          now another point i feel i should bring up is that ymir was actually going to bring historia with her, but only under the pretense that she’d live a better life.  

don’t forget ymir lived lavishly up until she was caught as a false prophet, and she likely assumed that with her royal blood, historia would too.  she thought paradis was done for, but when she realized they weren’t, she made the split-second decision to both sacrifice herself for reiner to have something to bring back with him ( thus preventing him from possibly going after historia in place of eren again ) as well as letting historia continue her life as historia, where she was already happy.  

at this point, ymir had seen historia finally spit back the words she’d spoken for so long, and was likely under the pretense that she would be fine, that they had finally stuck.  she saw no reason to keep herself present in hisu’s life ; she’d finally been able to break through to her.  but no matter what, at that point, she had already chosen to sacrifice herself for historia’s sake, and the more she listened to R&B, the more she solidified this idea.

EMPATHY     /         ymir felt fucking bad for R&B.  we get a ton of cutshots to her expression when eren tries to confront bertholdt’s morality, and practically defends him by telling eren he’s being childish for immediately wishing death on him.  we see her getting quiet when she brings up marcel,  and then again showing empathy for bert’s position in all of this.  this is again emphasized when bertholdt asks why she saved him.  but the last two don’t even matter, because by the time they begin leaving the forest she had practically already cemented the fact that she was going to go with them in believing she would never see historia again. 

of course, we might still get more insight on ymir and her motifs, but for now, this has always been how i interpreted her actions, and i never once questioned them.   yes, it would’ve been nice for her to finally set aside that aspect of herself and return with historia, but as i mention in my paradis verse, doing so wouldn’t have cured the innate guilt she feels towards living.  especially now that she’s spoken to R&B.   she realizes she took this from them and feels undeserving of this second shot at life when she couldn’t even do anything with it.  she was supposed to live for herself, and there she is doing everything in her power to save historia instead.  i’m sure ymir feels like a failure over that, and i’m sure it really fucks with her psyche, and factors into why she’s so willing to literally accept death by going back with them.

so by having ymir choose R&B over historia, she was going against  ‘development’  her character literally never had. every single ymir cut shot / flashback in these chapters literally emphasize just how much she does for others, all while trying to hide it under a mask of false ambiguity for her own sake. 

so yeah.  i love ymir.  she deserved better.   thanks for listening to my TED talk.

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Fruits Basket 2019 Episode 22: “Because I Was Happy”

In spite of how last week’s episode was kinda meh, this episode ended up being one of the single best episodes of the show thus far. It at least goes to show that this adaptation is incredibly good at drama, even if it’s not so great at comedy.

Anyway the TL;DR of my feelings right now is just a whole pile of those pictures of crying cats. You know the ones.

Thoughts under the cut [and spoilers for the manga as a whole]

To get right to the chase, this episode adapted chapter 51, which is interesting because this makes it the first episode adapting material that straight up hadn’t even been written when the 2001 anime was made, since I think that came out when the manga was at around chapter 43 or so. Even Uo’s backstory arc had already been done in the manga by that point, and they just chose to cut it in the first adaptation. So I can’t exactly fault the 2001 anime for not having adapted this chapter, but man it really goes to show how much of the story the 2001 anime was missing, and how much good stuff we’re in for here.

I think it was a good choice to put the two Hana chapters back to back like this, even though in the manga they were like 20+ chapters apart from each other. It’s by far the most standalone chapter of the manga, and it’s specific placement has always kinda baffled me, since it happens right after we meet the student council characters and Kureno, and shortly before the summer vacation arc, and none of that had to do with Hana. I think it’s just one of those things where Takaya’s nerve disorder probably impacted how she approached the story, and lead to some odd detours into side stories and backstories until the ‘main story’ kicked back into high gear. It flows a lot more naturally here, and the fact that the whole episode is a flashback with no real present-day context or framing isn’t even noticeable when it comes right after the events of the last episode. It felt like a bit more of a harsh narrative shift in the manga.

But it’s still always been one of my favourite individual chapters in the series, in spite of it’s awkward timing. The material itself does everything it needs to make it stand out. And the shifted placement in this adaptation just helps elevate it’s strengths even more.

I’ve been wondering how anime-only people might react to this episode, for lots of reasons, and I’m glad that everyone seems to love it. It really does come as a huge curveball in terms of tone and focus after how self-contained and comedic the last episode was, but it works nicely.

And even more than that, it’s fun watching people react for the first time to the reveal that Hana’s powers are actually 100% real, and the story ends up being dead serious in depicting how they impacted her life. Basically Fruits Basket suddenly turns into Carrie But With A Support Network for an episode, and I doubt any new fans saw that one coming, lmao.

Though tbh I still think it’s [intentionally] ambiguous whether or not she actually had supernatural powers. It never really comes up again, and the handful of cases of her using her powers on people can technically be written off as a mix of coincidences and a sort of placebo effect from people who think she’s seriously gonna curse them. In terms of what Takaya thought when she wrote this, I think Hana probably does have straight up psychic powers, but there’s room for interpretation, and I think this episode is really interesting when viewed through the lens of Hana having some sort of severe mental illness.

I’ve been pretty occupied recently with thinking about the topic of disability in Fruits Basket when it comes to Kyo’s arc [and oh boy do I have stuff to say about that very soon], but I’d kinda forgotten that Hana’s backstory here is another good example of that.

I don’t exactly want to jump to conclusions and start armchair diagnosing her, but the ‘voices’ Hana heard could definitely be symptoms of something like social anxiety or even schizophrenia. Depending on how literally you want to take the idea of her ‘hearing voices’.

In general there’s a sort of blurry line in this series between supernatural stuff, and things that are realistic to the experiences of disabled [or otherwise oppressed/neglected in general] people. But I’ll talk more about that later.

On a somewhat related note, one surprising thing about this episode is that in spite of the overall tone and events of this episode, Hana’s family is completely supportive of her, and never doubt the existence of her powers, or hate her for it. Instead all they care about is her safety and well-being, and they’re willing to move towns if it means removing Hana from a toxic school environment. I think I’ve said it before, but I think it’s good that this series has a whole range of types of parents/families who have their own unique feelings about their childrens’ struggles. You can’t really accuse it of being one-dimensional.

The thing that really struck me about this episode most of all was just how good the artistic direction and overall execution were. In terms of the story it was a pretty 1:1 adaptation of the manga, with nothing changed/added/removed from what I can remember, but it was just executed incredibly well. Pretty much like how things went with the Uo arc.

Specifically I really loved the way that the entire episode had a consistent cool grey tone to it all, and was filled with deep shadows and harsh, artificial-looking lighting, right up until the point where Hana admits that she wants to stay with Tohru and Uo, and suddenly everything is bright and warm and filled with light. It’s not exactly the most complicated thing ever, but it really made the climax of this episode stand out.

But the way it handled the lighting and shading up until that point was genuinely really neat in and of itself, and lead to a really atmospheric and oppressive vibe to everything. Especially scenes like the one where Hana got her arm burned by those bullies, and the whole scene was incredibly dark and shadowy and eerie. I also really liked the cut of her running down the school hallway, and how the harsh bluish lighting from the windows contrasted with her silhouette and the darkness of the hallway itself.

The way they handled the scenes of her hearing voices by having the screen be slowly blotted out by cloudy blackness and overlapping voices was also really neat.

I think it’s really neat that some of the best material we’ve gotten thus far has come from some of the most unlikely characters. Normally with a series like this you’d think that Tohru’s best friends would be disposable comic relief characters [which they kinda were in the 2001 anime, tbh], but they both ended up getting incredibly good backstory arcs that flesh them out immensely and deliver some of the strongest emotions and messages in the series. It really goes to show that this is an ensemble cast type of story that cares about all of it’s characters instead of just the core few. In the manga it wasn’t really apparent until later because of how things were paced out, but this adaptation’s really making it clear already that this series is totally willing to basically ignore it’s main trio for episodes on end in order to focus on the supporting cast, lol.

And on THAT note, to balance out the fact that Kyo in particular has been kinda absent since, like, the lake house episode I think, the next episode is gonna dive straight into what will ultimately be a three-episode story arc focused on him, his backstory, and his relationship with Tohru. I hope it lives up to the expectations of all the new fans who’ve been anxious to see more of him, and I hope they know to keep their hands inside the rollercoaster at all times because we’re about to Go Places [tm] :)

I’d been expecting for a while that the next episode would adapt chapters 30 and 31 and end with Kazuma’s introduction, so that the last two episodes of the season can focus on the meat of the true form arc, and thankfully they just outright used Kazuma’s line from the end of chapter 31 as the title of the next episode so that spells itself out, lol.

I’ve seen some people worry that this means they might be skipping the soup chapter, but I don’t think that’s the case. I think it’d actually be really easy to cover both of those chapters in one episode. You could actually splice the events of them together pretty nicely, so that Tohru getting sick is still the main thread of the whole episode even if it ends with Kazuma showing up.

I think they could at least do some things like making the part in Chapter 31 where Kyo and Kagura go shopping together be related to Kyo cooking for Tohru while she’s sick. But we’ll see.

I know some people think that ep24 will cover the whole true form arc, and that ep25 will be chapters 35 and 36, but I don’t really feel like that’d work well. The true form arc is way too much of an emotional climax all around to not be the season finale. And chapter 35 in general would serve as a nice sort of semi-recap of the true form arc to start season 2 off with.

And in general I don’t think the series has ever adapted three whole chapters into one episode, and I don’t think they’ll start with this arc. I think it’ll be like how they adapted the Uo arc into two episodes when it was also three chapters long. Either way, I think they’d be able to pretty easily flesh it out a bit to cover two episodes, whereas it’d be difficult to condense it into just one episode without it feeling rushed. But who knows. I have faith in them one way or another.

For the time being I’m just gonna emotionally prepare myself, lmao.