#lizardly talks

[lizardlycrimes]

Worst part of having adhd is the fact God for some reason can't give me normal hyperfixations like what the fuck do you mean I can't stop thinking about ikea furniture

[nothingrpgzone]

Giant Flying Lizard Men Laden with Malice and Maces

art provided by Dungifer's player

As the party redescends down to the 6th level of the dungeon they decide to head south in hopes of going deeper into the dungeon but find themselves at a dead end. All hope is not lost as the dead end they find themselves at is laden with gold ore.

They make a note of these riches and head north only to find themselves at yet another dead end, but this time free of riches.

Heading westward in hopes of finding a way south they find themselves in the natural creek bed they had been exploring earlier but this time head to the north.

With the second sight of Dungifer they are altered to a danger up ahead. Grillbar goes forth alone. While that is happening bobos attempts to cast both magic shield and armor of grass but is unable to bring either to fruition and loses them both for the day.

In the cave up ahead Grillbar is unable to see anything with his infravision but hears sounds of reptilian hissing back and forth, planning to spring an ambush Grillbar makes some noise by banging his polearm against the walls of the cave and runs back towards the group. 

With luck on his side he makes it back quickly in the dark with the rest of the party waiting in ambush. Bobos lets forth a stream of fire and in the process summons forth Bobos the Sleepy, Bobos the on Fire, Barkbark the Dog Wizard, Bobos the Mime, and Goobos the Sloppy, all joining in with the casting of the spell. The light from the fire illuminates four green lizard men with large wings. The fire sears the first one in line. Radcliff jumps out of the shadows he had been hiding in and stabs one of them in the back.

Dungier Summons forth a spiritual weapon and with two mighty blows from the divine mace the seared winged lizard man is dead, in the rush and chaos the remaining three green lizardmen slam into the first in line and fall into a pile.

Dungifer lets forth a word of command compelling the four lizardly fiends to grovel and they do. Radcliff, like a barber surgeon, slits their throats one at a time while they grovel.

The party collects themselves and prepares to enter the room ahead, Dungifer detects a danger ahead but keeps quiet, not wishing to bring down the mood of the party.

As they enter the room ahead they are greeted with six more of the scaly fliers, one of them obviously bigger than the others carrying a mace. They were talking in a circle but immediately upon seeing the party the mace holder screams out a guttural reptilian sound and all prepare for combat.

Grrunnarr immediately rushes the largest of the lizardmen, and knocks the mace out of their hands. Radcliff prepares some of the wolf spit poison in hopes of trying to poison the scaled foes but is unable to get it into any of their mouths. Grillbar charges with his polearm but is unable to make contact with his target. Kermit charges in with a knife hoping to be of use, but misses.

The lizardmen retaliate, the biggest foe strikes back at Grrunnarr. The one Grillbar attempted to stab retaliates and crits, breaking Grillbar’s Ribs, another tries to swoop in and attack but just misses. The fiend that Kermit attempted to slay swipes back and nearly brings him to death’s door.

Bobos unleashes a stream of elemental witchfire, like daggers made of pure yellow flame, at Kermit’s assailant and kills it instantly as electric fire dances off the corpse. Dungifer runs up towards Grillbar and lays on hands fixing the broken ribs.

As our sasquatch companion and the biggest continue to duke it out, but Grrunnarr fumbles and nearly trips, allowing the lizardman to pick back up his mace. Kermit throws his knife at the nearest lizard and misses, and quickly turns tail and runs. Grillbar goes in for another stab on his original target and stabs deep into its flesh. Radcliff begins to sneak around the side of the combat in hopes of stabbing the largest green beast in the back.

One of the lizardmen swoops down attempting to claw at Bobos but misses by just a hair and lands on the ground behind her. With the mace now in hand the largest of the cretins swings wildly at Grrunnarr and misses. A third green beast surrounds Dungifer and Grillbar and claws at Dungifer in a terrible display.

Bobos unleashes elemental witchfire at the largest beast causing it to glow. Dungifer tries to call upon his god but in the heat of melee his calls are unanswered. 

Radcliff sweeps in from behind and backstabs the giant glowing scaly fiend, and in this shock Grrunnar sweeps in with another set of blows, it’s obviously very injured. Grillbar stabs at his target for a third and final time killing it dead.

The mace wielder sees two of its fellow cretins dead and gives the order for them to retreat, they all manage to fly just out of reach of the would be attackers but into another room where their reptilian screams become more and more distant. 

The party collects themselves and Dungifer lays on lands healing the very injured Kermit. They prepare to go deeper into the cave.

[domesticated-feral]

It is 1 am right now for me but i cant stop thinking about scackson (scott/jackson) because look at the amount of rivals to lovers fanfiction you can milk outta them!! astronomical amounts, a cow could never

so yeah i have an exam tomorrow but let me just list my scackson headcanons before i rest my eyes

(these may not be canon compliant because i can and i will)

- jackson has a one-sided rivals to lovers arc going on with scott

- scott brings the soft side of jackson out (as he always does to everyone ^-^)

- their first date would be to a drive-in theater...idk if those exist or are just one of those made up american things to accentuate the American dream...or whatever its called

- scott gets jackson into soap operas

- jackson finally gets to watch the hoosiers

- scott's family adores jackson and his cousins fight for jackson's attention at family gatherings. scott is amused while jackson is mortified

- melissa gives jackson and scott The Talk™ after she finds out they are dating

- they don't start out as official dating tbh

- scott sucks at chem, jackson sucks at bio so they are paired up to tutor each other (which is how they get close)

- most of these are completely against canon, sorry not sorry

- scott kisses jackson first

- a whole lot of their relationship goes unknown to jackson's parents until they are caught in the act

- they are supportive tho and gifts jackson expensive lube and condoms for his birthday making him awfully embarrassed but hey! free expensive lube and condoms now at their disposal

- #jackson whittemores adoptive parents are involved in his life because they care about him alot and they are very happy for him and his boyfriend

- scott gushes about jackson to stiles

- jackson is reluctantly nice to stiles and everyone else

- lots of late night meaningful conversations

- scott is the first person jackson says 'i love you' to after not being able to say it ever since he learned that he was adopted

- jackson will sometimes exhibit lizard behaviour like need for basking in the sun or lounging in the cool shade, casually lying on walls, etc etc. scott wakes up terrified to find jackson just chilling on the ceiling of his room for lizardly purposes.

- it is at this point i learn that i could go all night so yeah im stopping here for now. please dont ask questions about the last hc, i have no idea why either and i would too like to know

[mothdogs]

Spent most of the day playing Skyrim which involved: frantically gathering materials to build a house, then frantically going on quests to earn money to buy more materials to build a house. I want my character to be able to provide a nice place to live for his future husband, and I’ve been like... writing their story in my head as I play. It’s the only thing I care about at the moment so I’m gonna dump it here

My Dohvakiin Teelan, an Argonian, met another Argonian at the Windhelm docks. He was subsequently outraged at Ulfric being a fucking racist and the dockworkers being paid a pittance so he cajoled the harbormaster into paying the dockworkers more money. So I’m kinda headcanoning (or is it just canon if this is my OC?) that this exchange with the original dockworker, named Scouts-Many-Marshes, led to Teelan being re-incorporated back into Argonian culture. He left his tribe over two year ago to travel north to Skyrim, and he misses his people—the food, the music, even the ways of speaking. And despite the fact that the dozen or so Windhelm Argonians are a bunch of downtrodden dockworkers thrown together by circumstance and not an actual family, as Teelan spends more time with Scouts and the others at the alienage he feels more comfortable and happy than he has in years. They snicker at the Nords behind their backs, eat snowfish cooked with a spice mixture Scouts learned from his mother, and Teelan demonstrates his Thu’um to the awe and approval of the little group.

Scouts made some in-game comment about how he hates the cold, so I got this cute image in my head of the two of them sitting beside a fire after dinner in the alienage, kind of tucked up under some furs with their tails entwined while Teelan tells Scouts about the Black Marsh and Scouts talks about his life growing up on the cold windy shores of Windhelm. And as they’re getting to know each other better, Teelan grows to understand his own primal need for warmth and just how badly he misses it, which is why he jumps at the chance to build a house at Lakeview outside of Falkreath. It’s pretty far south as far as Skyrim is concerned—certainly better than the icelocked shores of Windhelm. So all the while he’s clearing out bandit hoardes and selling scrap armor plates to buy iron ingots, smithing nails and sawing boards and building furniture to get the house ready, he’s thinking about this dream he has of Scouts, and of warmth, and of belonging. And when the day finally comes for Teelan to present Scouts with an amethyst wedding-band, he’ll bring Scouts south for the first time, watching the delight sparkle in his husband’s eyes as the climate grows incrementally warmer and greener with each passing mile. Teelan will write ahead to have Rayya prepare a breakfast feast for the morning of their arrival, and they’ll spend the first day at their new manor having a picnic on the porch that looks over the lake, feeling the sun warm their scales.

So anyway that’s what I’ve been up to today. Will probably draw some cute lizardly fanart this week to continue to take my mind off of Real World Events. Getting really into idealized video game character romances is a lot more fun than I remembered lol

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 27: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

O: And so the Autobots are like, “AHHHHHHHHHHH!”

[Intro Music]

O: Hello and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon, I’m Owls!

S: And I'm Specs.

O: Today we're going to be talking about episode number 27, Microbots.  Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Okay.

O: And now in South America!

S: White people doing white people things, as they do.

O: Digging up pottery. [laughs]

S: And we know they're white people because they're treating it like a game.

O: Also, the male archaeologist says how old an artifact is, immediately after digging it up.  Fuck carbon dating, real men can tell just by looking! [laughs]

S: The female scientist hits something strange while digging.  Something strange, in very fashionable Decepticon purple.

O: Ohh!

S: Come to think of it her hair is about the right kind of purple too, I'm surprised the Cons didn’t kidnap her as well.

O: [laughs]

S: Or won't.

O: [laughs] Surprise!  It's a spaceship.

S: These two archaeologists have unwittingly dug up the original Decepticon ship, the Nemesis.

O: Which you know, on a tangent, kind of got crashed there in Beast Wars.  Ahhhh! [laughs]

S: The Decepticons uh, catch this breaking news about this fascinating find.

O: But to the Ark!  Guys, guys, it's a Preceptor episode!  It is gonna be a good day, he is so cute.

S: He is, we're getting our good Preceptor, proper introduction.

O: Yes, and he deserves one, cuz he is a adorable.

S: Preceptor is attempting to fix a microchip that belongs to Ironhide, um, and he's hurried along by Brawn, who's being a dick.

O: VINDICATION!  Heh, Brawn is a jerk, even to his allies!

S: And we quote, “Real work is crushing Decepticons, not fussing with chips.”

O: Perceptor reminds Brawn that they fucking need him, and considering that the Cons try to blow up the planet every other week through some roundabout scientific nonsense- yes, having a scientist on staff is a good idea! [laughs]

S: Especially one who doesn't, you know, blow shit up all the time.

O: Yeah!  Wheeljack is a very specialized skill set. [laughs] Preceptor enlarges the microchip to repair it.

S: Chekhov's size changing ray, anyone?

O: Why, yes.  Bumblebee, being not a jackass, defends Perceptor as Brawn continues to be well, a jackass. [laughs]

S: I mean, I'd have to wonder how... basically, the team works?  But I guess Preceptor is one of the newer people who arrived, so I guess it makes sense that there'd be some tension.

O: Probably, but- but Brawn just seems like a jerk. [laughs]

S: He is, he is.  Optimus orders Bee, Brawn, and Ironhide to follow him as they head down to South America to stop the Decepticons from getting into their ship.  Cuz the Autobots have also caught the news- the news flash.

O: Obviously, now in South America, the Cons are blowing up lots and lots of trees.

S: It's what they do.

O: Starscream is attacked by an absolutely gigantic snake.

S: It's easily as big around as his arms, man.  It's super big!

O: Right!  And then we have Ravage frolicking with an actual jaguar.

S: And you know, his method of dealing with it involved shooting a missile at it before easily batting the jag- the jaguar away, and the jaguar’s just like-

O: “What the fuck?” [laughs]

S: “Screw this, I’m out of here!”

O: [laughs] Right?

S: And Starscream is, you know, able to shed the snake.

O: Puns- no, no!

S: Starscream had better be-leaf that Megatron has a plan.

O: No, no, this stops now!  Bonecrusher is just trundling along in the back moving some trees in vehicle mode and I just love it.  I think my personal headcanon is that the Constructicons are constantly doing their actual jobs while everyone is being morons, and I love it.

S: Considering how many, you know, bases of the week the Decepticons have, yes, they are pretty-

O: Presumably, they're actually pretty good at their job is what I'm gonna go with and I- I don't know I found thought that thought very, very funny. [laughs]

S: Yup, apparently they're doing all of this to try to avoid Autobot detection by staying on the ground.  So you know, they can avoid the Sky Spy detection or satellite detection or something.

O: Which makes sense, but eh… regardless, the Autobots have arrived in South America and that's not Ironhide, that’s really not Ironhide?

S: Well, Ratchet’s voice is coming out of his mouth, so we have to assume it's actually Ratchet and they didn’t just you know, miscolor him.

O: Again.  The Autobots follow the trail of destruction left by the Cons.

S: Why did Prime bring the medic and two short guys?

O: I think this isn't this is an established pattern at this point. [laughs]

S: Oh, honestly, yeah.

O: Meanwhile, back with the Cons, Scavenger is scanning the ground in vehicle mode while Megatron is walking next to him.  It just looks kind of weird, like you know they can turn into vehicle mode but I- I still kind of- like, oh right, Megatron is twice the height of a dump truck, right. [laughs] Like, you kind of forget when you don't have things around it you know, compare it to?

S: Yeah, well, I guess they needed their geologist, and considering the placement of Scavenger’s um, backhoe thing, which apparently his scanner is in in robot mode it makes more sense for him to do it in his alt mode.

O: Fair.  They arrive on the dig site, just as the archaeologists were going to try to get into the ship, which is now more unburied than in previous shots.

S: The humans, um, flee, you know, drive off after they encounter some threatening laser fire with- that you know, misses them of course.

O: Megatron says, “Cut it open!”

S: Can't you just find the door?

O: Specs, Specs, he forgot the password, it has been a several million years, hello? [laughs]

S: Couldn’t you just, you know, get your construction crew to take the door off the hinges or something?

O: [laughs]

S: I mean seriously, there are less destructive ways to get into this thing for whatever you want in it.

O: Oh, Spe-

S: What if you destroy the thing that you're going in there for?

O: Oh, Specs, Soundwave didn't plan this out, so therefore it’s nonsensical as hell. [laughs]

S: [sighs] God.  And oh look, they blasted into the part of the ship that had exactly what the fuck they wanted.

O: HOW CONVENIENT!

S: I'm surprised I didn't accidentally blow themselves up.

O: The show would be over then what would we do? [laughs]

S: Plot armor.

O: [laughs] Megatron survived a planet exploding, I think he would probably be fine.

S: Maybe not anyone else.

O: Yeah, fair.

S: Megatron wants to play doctor on the ship as he extracts this thing called the ‘Heart of Cybertron.’

O: Apparently, he just wanted to be a medic in every continuity, who knew?

S: Like, I think he borrows a laser scalpel from Hook or something.

O: Yeah, like, he- he doesn't even have like, the innate um-

S: Thingy.

O: -equipment to do it, is what's funny.  But he does it, he doesn't blow them up.  Which we establish later this thing is explosive.

S: Yeah, cuz apparently this this thing is an energy maximizer, whatever the fuck that means.

O: Yeah, I know, who knows. [laughs]

S: And then Megatron just hands it to Hook and says, “Put it inside me,” and then lays on the ground, where you know-

O: What the fuck?  What the fuck? [laughs]

S: It’s an impromptu surgery.

O: [continues laughing]

S: And then Hook just kind of shoves it in there, where his spark chamber would be, I guess?  In a later continuity but this is- this is the G1 cartoon, there's no sparks.

O: There's no continuity, but I will remind you we know sparks exist, retroactively by way of Beast Wars.  Sorry!  Heh, this will be the soapbox I die on, apparently? [laughs]

S: Megatron is super buff now, metaphorically speaking.

O: But then Optimus shows up, and orders [an] attack.  [Clears throat] But, uh, wait a minute, so you're telling me that Optimus, Ratchet, Bumblebee, and Brawn are just gonna take on Suped up Megs, Soundwave, Starscream, Ravage, Rumble, and at least some of the Constructicons, if not all six of them and/or possibly Devastator?

S: Optimus has completely confidence.

O: IN WHAT!?!

S: Ratchet being able to out medic the Constructicons, I don't know.

O: I don’t know how that solves Megatron shooting purple force lightning out of his fingertips!

S: Well, I guess Mega- I guess Optimus doesn't know how to deal with it either cuz he takes it straight to the- straight to the chest and he falls off a cliff.

O: [laughs] Of course!  And a quick commercial break and Cliffjumper manifests out of nowhere!

S: Well, see, now that they don't have to animate Optimus moving, they have more of a budget to deal with all these other pesky characters.  So just pretend they were there all along!

O: Well, speaking of pesky characters- Bluestreak and Ironhide are here now too.

S: And there's-

O: Did I mean Smokescreen?

S: Uh, I honestly don't remember.

O: [laughs] Now- that may have- I may have meant Smokescreen, because for some reason I keep getting the two mixed up when I'm taking notes.  So, I do apologize, uh, but two more characters show up is what we're getting at.

S: Yeah, then they're both immediately taken out by Megatron's force lightning because, of course.

O: Of course!

S: And then Brawn.

O: YES!  Pay for your sins Brawn, your sins of being a dick to Perceptor!

S: And then Ratchet is hit, and then Huffer shows up, before getting immediately unlucky and he's like, “I hope I'm lucky!”

O: And then he’s not.  He’s not.  But now, iguana.

B: [laugh]

S: [sighs] And with that uh, lovely lizardly intermission.

B: [laugh]

S: Smokescreen is trying to rouse Prime.

O: Prime is up, but Windcharger is down. [laughs]

S: Okay, so, um, so is the going rate for Optimi six Autobots or are they all going to go away now that Optimus is up?

O: [still laughing] Who knows?  But Optimus apparently knows about the Heart of Cybertron which is the thing that he- that was just shoved into Megs that I have to ask, “How?”

S: Apparently, they just didn't give a damn about finding it before now, or they thought it was maybe in the ocean, though I don't know why they wouldn't have been concerned about that considering…

O: Yeah, cuz they- again, we establish later it is explosive. [laughs]

S: Yes, and also that the Decepticons live in the ocean.

O: Right.  Now it is time for a Smokescreen to show us why his name is Smokescreen.

S: As he does.  Megatron angrily shoots in random directions while yelling, because he can't see through the smoke that Smokescreen....

O: Has smoked out.

S: Yes.

O: Optimus orders everyone to fire on Megatron.

S: And Hoist is here too.

O: They blast the hill, burying all the Cons under a rock slide.  Which no, Soundwave my poor blue son, and Rumble my poor blue garbage baby! [laughs]

S: We also got confirmation Grapple’s here too, as Optimus orders him, Hoist and Ratchet to get the wounded out of there.

O: Back at the Ark, Preceptor meets the wounded Autobots as they arrive at the entrance to the Ark.

S: God, that must have been some commute.

O: Yeah, from South America!  Presumably without Skyfire?

S: I guess?  I mean, maybe Skyfire just turns up, picks them up and drops them off, who the hell knows?

O: He was on vacation, and you know, they- they had to call him in, who knows?

S: Yeah.  And Brawn is continuing his modus operandi for this episode aka, jackassery.

O: Of course!  Wheeljack... was also in the earlier fight as he's now among the wounded, despite us never seeing him.

S: I think I can just assume apparently all the Autobots were there.

O: Right.

S: Getting their asses-

O: Most of them.

S: Getting there butts kicked.  I don’t know.  Uh, the Cons proceed to unbury themselves and then we’re back at the Ark.

O:  Wee! [laughs]

S: Preceptor is uh, also working on a wounded Powerglide.

O: Jesus!  I know we said it, but like, there were so many Bots in South America!  So many!

S: A good chunk of them.

O: Perceptor puts forth the suggestion that a group of Autobots should shrink themselves in enter Megatron to disconnect the Heart of Cybertron.

S: It's not exactly a bad plan, it's just if they had this before now we didn't they think to use it and they're never gonna-

O: Or some other, yeah… who the fuck knows?

S: And it's never gonna come up again.

O: But Optimus seems game!  Brawn is still very unhappy, but Optimus orders Bee and Brawn to accompany Perceptor into Megatron.

S: Preceptor’s so sassy about all this.

O: The sassiest of microscopes.  And I know Perceptor said they were going to be ‘microscopic,’ but I swear they're just toy sized.

S: I think you mean ‘fun sized’.

O: Well, obviously I mean fun sized. [laughs]

S: They’d fit quite nicely on your desk.

O: Wouldn’t they though?  Powerglide is tasked with getting them near enough to Megatron so they can infiltrate the Decepticon camp.  It is time for booze!

S: Or as a fanon and calls it ‘high-grade’.  AKA, robot booze.

O: Pretty much, so all the Decepticons get super drunk.

S: And everybody but Megs is passed out on the ground super stone cold drunk.

O: So what you're saying is, he can hold his booze then?

S: I think everyone else is just a really light drinker.

O: [laughs] Mm, mostly Seekers in all fairness.

S: And he passes out immediately afterwards, so no, I don’t think he can hold his booze better than anyone else.

O: [laughs]

S: I think he’s just got a better force of will.

O: [continues laughing] Powerglide makes the drop, and the tiny Autobots scramble out of their container and into Megatron.

S: Megatron wakes up and sees Powerglide and orders an attack.  But of course all the other Cons are stumbling around and not able to actually move.

O: Including poor Laserbeak, who nose dives into the ground.  Which is sad, but also hilarious.

S: And Megatron just decides that he's gonna deal with all this shit by himself and flies off.

O: [laughs]

S: Gonna be him against all what, two hundred Autobots?

O: Something like that, which maybe with the Heart of Cybertron he’ll be fine? [laughs]

S: Unless he goes boom, but I mean, I don’t think-

O: Boom baby!  Boom baby!

S: I don’t think he’s gonna go boom.

O: A planet went boom and he didn't care, why would he care if be exploded?

S: Well, if it's inside him it's going to be more of an issue than if it's outside him.  I don't think his armor has that sort of structural integrity.

O: I’m just imagining Megatron staying like, perfectly calm through sheer force the of will.

S: [sighs]

O: Or rage, one of those.

S: I don't think he's internal bits are as-

O: Probably not. [laughing]

S: -hardy as his outer bits, okay?

O: Ah, so, while he’s still-  while- he decides to take on all of the Autobots he is still pretty darn drunk, and I just want to know where's my footage of him flying straight into a radio tower or something?

S: [sighs] Meanwhile, inside Megatron, whatever passes for Cybertron white blood cells are trying to rid his body of the um, microorganisms that are being Bee, Brawn, and Perceptor.  Or-

O: Brawn- oops, sorry go ahead.

S: Or BBP.

O: [laughs] Brawn, being good at only one thing, which is you know, beating shit up- actually manages to destroy a few of them

S: He just tears them apart... with some oddly well animated movement.

O: Our motley crew continues on their micro excursion arriving at Megatron's shoulder joint.

S: And the- the naturally occurring gears, pulleys, and levers that the Marvel Comics say they evolved from.

O: Obviously. Cutting to Optimus, we are told Megatron's ten minutes out from the Autobot base.

S: Our tiny robots arrive at Megatron's brain module.

O: Why don't they just shoot it?

S: Apparently they just... I don't know, Preceptor and Bumblebee might have moral objections, but I'm not sure why Brawn just didn't do it.  It's a bad idea to shoot, you know, your pilot or the brain of the robot you're currently hitching a ride in.  You don't want…

O: [sighs] Fair.

S: You're gonna get kind of smooshed.

O: Splatted. [laughs]

S: Anyway, Brawn had the exact same idea.

O: Oh fuck no!

S: I guess he does have some good ideas sometimes but there, um- he's a jackass too.

O: [laughs]

S: Wheeljack tells Optimus, and by Optimus I mean us, that they have a force field up and it will only last five minutes under Megatron's attack so... are they limited by the amount of power that they have access to or just…I don’t know.

O: Um-mm, but we've got a 15 minute buffer, apparently.  I don't know why they keep giving us exact times.  Megatron arrives, and Optimus rallies all available Autobots to buy Perceptor more time.

S: [sighs] Bee and Perceptor pull Brawn back from Megatron's brain.  Perceptor also tells us that the Star of Cybertron is super explosive, so Megatron falling down will be super bad.

O: Right.  Megatron has started thinking, as brain impulses are starting to fly around his brain.

S: It's hilarious that Megatron just does a lot of stuff without thinking apparently.

O: Oh, I'm sorry, they’re evil impulses, that's important.

S: Yeah, I don't know how they pocess- oh god, do not evil impulses not show up like that?

O: [makes a bunch of confused noises and laughs] I dunno know.

S: Well, um, regardless uh, BBP hitch a ride on one of the impulses to the Heart of Cybertron cuz apparently that's how-

O: You get around a Megatron, mm-hmm.

S: Well apparently that’s how the Cybertronian nervous system works.

O: Apparently!  There's some really nice animation in this.  Is that why there were so few robots in some of the earlier scenes, you think? [laughs]

S: I guess they spent all their money on the special effects.

O: Perceptor advises caution when they arrive at the Heart of Cybertron otherwise they might set a bust the bomb.

S: You might set off the bomb, um, yeah, um, let's not do that.

O: Outside, Megatron gets through the Autobots forcefield.

S: As in, it shatters like literal glass.

O: Which seems to be a pattern with force fields in the show at this point.  Perceptor disconnects the last wires, the three of them grab the star, and book it out of Megatron's body.

S: Mass shifting all the way home.

O: Megatron’s face, when three Autobots climb out of his shoulder are- is pretty fucking great by the way. [laughs]

S: Bumblebee turns around and says, “Excuse us!”

O: Of course!  Megatron then calls them ‘retro rats’ and just flies off.

S: Oh no!  The star is to destabilizing, or the heart is destabilizing, or whatever the hell it is.

O: [laughs]

S: Because the heart destabilizing, Brawn heaves [it] into space with- I don't know, a massive swing of his short stubby arm or something.

O: [laughs] And Perceptor shoots it, once it’s two thousand miles away, causing Brawn to now be a convert to Perceptorism, as he calls Perceptor his friend.

S: Perceptor just looks happy about this.

O: Which, I mean, fair. [sighs] Uh, join us next time for, “The Master Builder.”

S: Or the Constructicons seduce Grapple and Hoist, with words.

O: [laughs]

S: Alright, so we have two fic recommendations, one from me and one from Owls.  The first one is, “Domestic Electronics,” by Bibliotecaria_D.  And it's an IDW G1 AU, very AU.

O: Very!

S: But it- it’s not rated.  Generally Gen, there aren’t really any pairings.  The main characters are an original human, and then there’s uh, the rest of the cast is effectively original humans or the IDW ensemble.

O: [chuckles]

S: [sighs] And in summary, “Once upon a job in retail, an average Joe took home a returned domestic electronic from the Transformers brand.  These are a glimpse into a normal life with tiny electro domestics running rampant through the apartment.”  Character or theme or rec is basically, it’s got a bunch of tiny robots.

O: [laughs]

S: The cartoon has a bunch of tiny robots.

O: Yes!

S: Or well, several tiny robots.  Just tiny robots.

O: [laughs]

S: At this point I think, “Domestic Electronics,” is complete and that's the note that we have on here because Bibliotecaria_D doesn't seem to be uh, active anymore.

O: But they have the fic marked as complete.  It seems like they were kind of periodically adding stuff to it even though?  But what's there is still really good, and I do recommend cuz it's very enjoyable to read.

S: Yep.

O: Alright, so my recommendation for today is, “Chronic,” by LittleMissSweetgrass.  The continuity is IDW, the rating is T, it is slash it is uh, the pairing is Cosmos/Soundwave.  Our characters are Cosmos, Soundwave, Rest-Q, Rumble, Frenzy, Laserbeak, and Buzzsaw.

And in summary, “Everyone had secrets.  This was just a fact of life, and ever since the war started secrets became something of a currency something to trade or exchange for more.  Secrets are what helped fuel the war and mechs had dedicated their whole lives just to find these hidden treasures.  Cosmos’ personal secrets weren't anything that would be considered interesting or sought-after since the war was over.  See, Cosmos was a mini bot.”

And then the type is one shot, but it is part of a series.  This is actually the second part of this- of uh, one I recommended earlier called, “Quiet.” It it's all part of the- the same series of Soundwave/Cosmos stuff.

S: I’ve read this one, it’s good, I liked it.

O: Ah, yeah, I like their stuff. [laughs]

S: And then I believe we also have art for you to recommend.

O: Yes, our recommendation for today is for Rikuta.  They seemed like they were primarily doing Prime.  They have a Tumblr, a Pixiv, and the Twitter, at least as of the last time I checked.  They have some really cute Prime artwork, in particular I like their Knockout, uh, Breakdown stuff.  Today we've linked some artwork of Knockout and Breakdown making flower crowns, a Cyclonus/Tailgate comic, and some Megatron/Optimus art which is- uh, I love all of it. [laughs] But uh, yeah, just, Cyclonus and Tailgate being Cyclonus and Tailgate. And uh, cute Knockout/Breakdown stuff, and uh, Optimus and Megatron from Prime.

S: I’ve seen their art, I liked it.

O: Yeah, I did too.

S: And that just about wraps it up for us today.  Remember to check us out on Tumblr and Pillowfort as the Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word), and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast, such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and YouTube, just to name a few.  Till next time, I'm Specs.

O: And I’m Owls!

S: Toodles.

[Outro Music]

[ernmark]

Do you think it's likely that Damien won't be able to make a decision regarding Arum/Rilla and the stabbing of, due to a sudden interruption by Quanyi and/or Sir Caroline? Part of me wants to see how things play out with just the three of them in the room, but I also want to see what would happen if someone else tried to attack Arum, and Damien's reaction to that

We’ve already got a hint of Damien’s reaction: when he first came looking for Arum, he thought that Arum had already been executed by the monsters. When he found him, he was relieved to find him still alive. He was terrified of the thought of finding Arum dead.

DAMIEN: I thought you were dead. He told me, the monster, I thought you were… and I lived it, oh I lived it a thousand times in a second’s space, and how can this moment’s truth be but a droplet in that endless, churning sea I’ve drowned in… 

ARUM: Oh, stop it. If you plan to kill me, you’ll get no sympathy. I’m sorry if that hurts your “feelings,” takataka.

DAMIEN: (DISTANT, FOGGY; HAS LEGITIMATELY FORGOTTEN) Kill you…? But… I…ARUM: Your knife is drawn, honeysuckle. I’m a monster, not an idiot. (Hallowed Halls of Helicoid)

I’d love for these three to actually get a chance to sit down and have an actual conversation. But right now Damien is severely sleep-deprived, he’s been working himself into a nonstop panic, he’s been marching and riding for weeks on a broken leg, and he’s convinced himself that this is all an illusion anyway. I don’t know if he’s even capable of rational thought at this point, just because he’s pushed himself so far for so long.

We know that Talfryn and Angelo are going to show up looking for Damien any minute now, and that Sir Caroline and Quanyi will come looking for their turn to kill and dismember Arum, and that’s going to turn into absolute chaos.

Some possibilities:

Damien tries to kill Arum and is subdued. 

Damien tries to kill Arum and succeeds.

Damien tries to kill Arum and Rilla intercedes, and he finally gives up and collapses into a sobbing puddle on the floor.

Damien tries to kill Arum and Rilla intercedes, and Damien tries to attack her instead. 

Talfryn sees Rilla trying to defend Arum; after the traumatic way he killed Helicoid, Talfryin is really doubling down on the whole Not Killing Monsters thing, and he’s especially not going to let them die if Rilla says not to. He comes to Rilla’s defense.

Talfryn, is still way overstressed and overstimulated from everything that happened since they arrived, and suddenly all this talk about illusions and mind-alteration and manipulations puts him over the edge. He shuts down and goes nonverbal.

Angelo, trying harder to listen to Talfryn, backs Talfryn up and helps subdue Damien.

Angelo appeals to Sir Caroline, reminding her of Vivian and the Crocodile-Hound

Angelo takes Damien’s side, pointing out that Arum is the one who kidnapped Rilla in the first place. 

Sir Caroline, realizing that Rilla is in love with Arum, stands to defend the two of them from Damien, and helps to persuade Damien that this is in fact real. 

Sir Caroline, determined to fill her role as Inspector General, tries to kill Arum herself. 

Sir Caroline, realizing that Rilla is in love with Arum, tries to arrest and execute Rilla for treason. Damien and Talfryn freak out and defend Rilla against her.

Quanyi eggs everyone on and adds to the chaos, just for the hell of it

Quanyi flirts with 90% of the people present, also for the hell of it

Marc arrives with Dampierre, because we need even more chaos in this scene

Other monsters– possibly guards– arrive and arrest everyone

Other monsters arrive and all the humans + Arum team up to fight them off

Literally anybody tries to hurt Rilla and literally everybody else jumps up to defend her.

Somebody successfully kills Arum, leaving Rilla and Damien devastated– and then Arum comes back to life, because he’s got lizardly regeneration powers. Quanyi explains this to them as if they’re all very stupid for not knowing it already. 

[thewriterxj]

Backstory Weeks: 1 - Family I [Parents]

I follow @yourocsbackstory​ and want to do some of the prompts, even if they are waaaaay late. So please accept my offering! 

 Week 1 prompt: Family

I have two snippets from my WIP below the cut. TW: mentions of narcissistic abuse.

“I can’t believe I am stuck in here with you.” Jessica huffed, folded her arms, and sat back in her seat. I eyed her for a moment from the rearview mirror. Her lip curled and she sneered.

“Yeah, what a tragedy.” I reached over to the radio and turned it on. I changed the channel to a rock station. A good song was on. I sat back and prepared to just...zone out until Mom and Dad were out of the store.

Jessica huffed and reached forward from the back seat and changed the radio to the local top 40 channel. She sat back and resumed her cross-armed glower.

“I was listening to that,” I said. I changed the channel back.

“I want to listen to this channel,” she said. She reached up and changed the channel again.

“Then ask.” I changed the channel back.

“No. Your music sucks.” She reached forward to change the channel back, but I blocked the dial with my hand. She tried to grab my hand and pull it back, but I guess I was stronger than she had thought I was. Her fingernails dug into my skin, and I knew she broke the skin a bit. I shoved her hand away.

“What is wrong with you?” I stared at her. She stared back, angrily. I wondered, though. I truly wondered. I didn’t know anyone else who acted like Jessica, and I didn’t understand why she thought she could do whatever she wanted. It was as if she acted before she thought, if she thought at all. I knew it was just a dumb radio, but I was getting pissed off about it. She could have asked. Instead, she just thought that I should go along with whatever she did, as if I wasn’t worth considering. It bugged me before, but now, when we were stuck, alone, together, I could see it clearly. “Seriously.”

Jessica responded by grabbing the shoulders of both of the front seats, bringing up her foot, and slamming it into my face.

My hands immediately went to my lip, as it had split and blood was starting to come out. I felt the hot anger of being pissed off, but then also a strange calm, even as blood was smearing on my hand. I reached over and turned off the car, took the key out, and then left the car. I didn’t bother locking the alarm. I just calmly went into the story, my hand over my bloody lip, and searched until I saw Mom and Dad over by the lamps.

“Jenn?” Dad asked. “What’s up?”

I removed my hand. Blood dribbled down my chin. “Jessica kicked me in the face.”

Mom made a face, but Dad asked her for tissues and she got them out of her bag and handed them to him. He took some out and put it to my lip, then instructed me to hold it there firmly. My lip was already starting to swell, and I could taste blood in my mouth, but I tried to do what he said. 

“C’mon, let’s go.”

“What about the lights?”

“We can come back for the lights.”

“They won’t be on sale later.”

Dad sighed. “Just stay with us.”

I nodded and kept the tissue on my lip, even though people gave me weird looks as we walked about the store. I began to feel that weird feeling that I felt after getting yelled at, and sometimes when Gabriel was talking to me. I still didn’t really know what to call that feeling. Embarrassed, maybe? I began to think, in my head, what I could have done to keep Jessica from kicking me. Maybe I should have just let her listen to whatever channel she wanted. Was it worth being kicked in the face for?

After about a half hour, we left with a ceiling fan, no lights, and Dad told me to go in the car and tell Jessica to come out. Jessica rolled her eyes but did it anyway, and I sat there and watched as the three of them talked. I couldn’t hear what they said, but then Dad motioned for Jessica to get back in the car, and she sat next to me. Mom and Dad talked a bit, and it looked a little heated, but then they both got in and turned on the car.

“Jennifer, next time you have a problem, don’t provoke your sister,” Dad said.

“What?” I sat forward. “Provoke?”

“You’re the oldest, you should have handled it better,” Mom said.

“She kicked me in the face!”

“Which she wouldn’t have done if you hadn’t provoked her,” Dad said. “When we get home, I want you to go out back and spend a few hours clearing weeds. It will give you time to think about it.”

“That isn’t fair!”

Dad turned around in his seat to glare at me. “You have a problem with any of that, little girl?”

“But…”

“I said, do you have a problem? Because if you have a problem, you can get out of the car right now, and walk home.”

“No.”

“What was that?”

“No!”

“No what?”

“No, sir!”

I pulled myself back into the back seat as much as possible, just so I didn’t have to look at Jessica and her stupid face. The conversation changed immediately, and Mom began talking about how she really wanted recessed lighting, as we drove home.

---

Not having a door gave me a front row seat for Jessica’s “punishment.” She was made to stand by the door of her room while Mom and Dad went through it and put select things into large black plastic bags. The look on Jessica’s face would have been satisfying if I felt any need to feel that, but instead, I just felt sorry for her. I don’t know why. All this time, I wanted something to happen to her so that she could feel what I felt, just once, and now that it was happening, I just felt bad. 

Was it bad that I wanted her to feel happy?

Dad took her CD tower and dumped her CDs into his bag. Mom was taking the see-through blue phone and putting it into hers, then went to Jessica’s closet and began taking clothes out. She made a show of pulling each item off the hanger and admiring it, draping it over herself, looking in the mirror, then making a face and putting it in the bag. She knew we were watching.

They pulled down her boy posters, even the one from N’Sync that Mom and Jessica had gotten at the concert they went to. Everything went into the bag. The stuffed animals from Jessica’s boyfriends, her new Vans, her makeup, anything that they deemed was not essential. I realized as they went that they didn’t talk to each other, but knew what to do. They’d done this before. They had practice.

With me.

I had never had things to take away, but I realized I had only been living with what was essential, aside from the computer and books in my room. My life was Jessica’s punishment.

They finished up and tied up the two bags. I was sure they could find more, and they didn’t touch the full length mirror, but they’d only come up with two bags. Dad came out the room first, and didn’t look at either of us. He took the bag downstairs and into the garage. The door shut behind him and he didn’t come back in.

Mom came out second and walked straight to my doorway. She didn’t come in. She reached inside her bag and fished about, then pulled out the transparent blue phone. “Here,” she said to me.

I looked at the phone. “What?”

“Here. You always wanted a phone in your room. Now you can have one.”

“I don’t want it.”

“I thought you wanted a phone.”

“I don’t want that phone.”

“Does it matter what phone it is? Come here and take it.” I was confused why all of a sudden she wasn’t just coming into my room and setting the phone down on the desk, forcing it on me. That’s what she would have done before Jessica got caught. I felt fear creeping up my backbone. I considered going to take the phone, because I felt that maybe if I didn’t, it would be far worse for me.

“Its fine. I only have one plug anyway, and my computer is hooked up to it.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t why I didn’t want the phone.

Mom made that look, her Lizardly Look, and let the phone drop into the bag again. The clothes inside cushioned it from damage. “Fine. I guess we’re having a yard sale.”

She tied up the bag again and dragged it down the hall, down the stairs, and into the garage.

Jessica watched her the whole way. She wiped a tear away, and then looked into her room. It was much more bare now. It looked like mine.

I turned back to the computer and resumed typing. I tried to forget what I saw, and what I was realizing, but it was hard to push the thought away once it started rattling around. My life was Jessica’s punishment. I was being punished, all the time. I lived my life as if I did something wrong.

But I couldn’t think of what it was I’d done.

It became quiet, and outside, the sun was setting. I don’t know how long I kept typing, erasing, and typing again.

Finally I heard a small sigh, and realized that Jessica was still there, by her door, in the space between my room and hers.

“Thanks for...not taking the phone.” 

“Whatever.” It didn’t come out as mean as I wanted it to. I wanted to slap her in the face with it, because that’s what she deserved. I was probably going to have a scar from the cut on my lip. But it came out soft. As if I was saying I was sorry. But I had done nothing wrong. 

Had I?

“I’m just trying to be nice.”

“And I am just trying to be your sister.”

It was an automatic reply, but it was true. All I wanted was to be her sister, like when we were kids. We’d been inseparable then. Mom had called us her little twins, even though we looked nothing alike. Jessica was all dark hair and freckles, even then, and I was all caramel and honey. I remembered how much fun we had playing in the pool. We played tag. I had helped teach her how to swim. We had contests to see who could dive closer to the bottom, and sometimes we made it. We’d put on lipsynching shows to New Kids on the Block and Mariah Carey, and finish off each song by canonballing into the pool.

We had worn matching clothes. There was a photo, downstairs, framed in a heart shaped frame, of us sitting together on a towel at the beach, with matching pink heart shaped glasses on, and matching mint ice cream cones in our hands. We had the same pink polka dot top on, same white shorts, same flowery sandals.

Her hair was straight and silky. Mine was curly and framed my head like a fluffy halo.

We were five and six.

We had been sisters then.

I missed that. I missed us. I don’t know what had happened. Somewhere along the line, I had stopped being her sister and Mom had. 

I turned away so that she couldn’t see me crying. I heard her go back into her room and quietly shut the door.

[lizardlycrimes]

Ok, I dont usually post this kind of stuff, but with the new year, there's gonna be a whole lotta decluttering new years resolutions, so here's a little tip.

Marie Kondo is great for inspiration but not much more skip that 4-5 hours of reading her book. At most, listen to her talk on Talks at Google. What you're really wanna do is spend like. An hour, maybe two. Looking through Dana K White's stuff on YouTube. Sort by most popular, and you're gonna find gold. Her techniques are far more accessible and less emotionally draining than most cleaning advice.

[lizardlycrimes]

Just saw a tiktok video where someone called a 28 year old an older woman???

[lizardlycrimes]

Woohoo!!! Just quit my job!!!! 🥳

[lizardlycrimes]

Moving jobs!!!! Fuck yeahhh!!!!

[lizardlycrimes]

Answered the phone at work and got scolded for being too cheery??? I get the guy is much higher rank than me on the corporate ladder but??? Where's your whimsy?? What's not to like about someone talking with you like they're actually glad to be there for once????

[lizardlycrimes]

Vitamins are so fucking stupid what the fuck do you mean you're taking b12 what are you gonna tell me next? You're driving on the e15? You're moving your fucking rook to d4? Shut up

[lizardlycrimes]

I've been watching Dr. House with my mother, and it's quite hilarious cause it's as if we're watching two separate shows. I'll often see a scene and go "HOW COULD YOU EVER THINK THEY'RE STRAIGHT???" and my mom will say, "THEYRE JUST FRIEND???"

[lizardlycrimes]

Being somewhere that's supposed to be fun but you're just miserable is one of the worst feelings