#lizard people mob

[granhairdo]

thinking about the angsty littlest pet shop videos i made in like 2005

[cloakedsparrow]

Dick: Okay, I think we’re gonna have to do ‘Good Cop, Bad Cop’.

Jason: Yeah. It’s tropey but it works.

Dick: Exactly. Wanna flip for Bad Cop?

Jason: You’re kidding.

Dick: Or we could play Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock?

Jason: Dude, I can’t be Good Cop. I kill people, remember? You can’t kill people and be Good Cop.

Dick: Those were traffickers and mob lieutenants. These are Rogue goons.

Jason: What, like that matters?

Dick: Yes, that matters. They don’t care that you took out some mobsters. They care that you revived the Joker after beating him to death and then let him go.

Jason: I didn’t revive him, I just didn’t let him die yet! And I didn’t let him go either! That was Batman! I was gonna kill the psycho!

Dick: Yeah, well, you still kept him alive and the goons probably know it. Just like they know I was happy to leave him dead when I killed him.

Jason: What?

Dick: You heard me.

Jason: You…?

Dick: Killed the Joker? Yes. I thought he killed Timmy and then when I confronted him, he said your name and…I didn’t stop hitting him until he choked on his own blood.

Jason: Then…how is he still alive?

Dick: Batman revived him.

Jason Fucking what?

Dick: Yeah.

Jason: Well, now I definitely can’t be Good Cop. I’m way to pissed for that shit.

Dick: Well, so am I.

Jason: Fuck.

Dick: Fuck.

Jason: So now whadda we do? Try to beat it outta him?

Dick: No, he'll lock down. That's why I suggested "Good Cop, Bad Cop" to begin with.

Jason: So we need a Good Cop.

Dick: Okay, I’m gonna call Timmy and see if he can come play Good Cop.

Jason: Good plan.

Dick [talking into a secure (& Batman-proof) phone]: Hey, Robin, you busy?

Tim [on speakerphone]: Kinda, yeah. What’s going on? You sound weird.

Dick: Hood and I need to get some intel from a goon, and we’re thinking “Good Cop, Bad Cop” is the way to go but neither of us can pull off Good Cop right now.

Tim: Shit. I’m in Bangkok right now-

Jason: The fuck are you doing in Bangkok?

Tim: Speedy needed help with a thing.

Dick: In Bangkok?

Tim: No. She’s in Korea.

Jason: So, again, why the fuck are you in Bangkok?

Tim: Because Lady Shiva’s here and she’s perfect for what Speedy needs, so I’m calling in a favor she owes me.

Dick: You’re calling in a favor from Lady Shiva because Speedy needs help with a thing in Korea.

Tim: Yep. You got it.

Dick: No, that’s- You say that like it doesn’t require any further-

Tim: Can you hang on for a second? There’s an assassin tailing me.

Dick: Shit. Do you need us to send someone out there?

Jason; Starfire should be done with her thing by now. She's not on your shit list, right?

Tim: No, I like Kori. But I’m good now. My assassin got the other assassin.

Dick: You have an assassin?

Tim: Kinda? She defected from the League of Assassins and is up for hire but she always gives me priority since she feels like she owes me a life-debt.

Dick: Again, you sound like you think that statement doesn’t require any further explanation.

Jason: So you hired your assassin buddy to kill the other assassin?

Tim: What? No. Of course not. She didn’t kill him. We’ll question him later. She never kills on my jobs since she knows I don’t like it.

Dick: What about other jobs?

Tim: That’s her business. We aren’t all control freaks, you know.

Dick: That’s-

Jason: That’s good, Little Red. Good that you have healthy boundaries.

Dick: I have healthy boundaries.

Jason: Sure you do.

Tim: Okay, you’re gonna have to argue that on your own. I’m supposed to help my friends out with something after I get Shiva to help Speedy, but I have to handle this interrogation first. So how about I just send my friends the twenty-five plans I drew up and ask Bunker if he minds helping you out before he joins us? He should be able to get inside Gotham in less than ten minutes.

Jason: Oh, Bunker’s perfect for Good Cop.

Tim: Right? They’ll spill everything and probably give him their grandma’s secret family recipes on top of it.

Dick: Wait. Back it up. You have twenty-five plans drawn up? What are you guys up against?

Tim: Nothing we can’t handle. Young Justice figures, why even bother with a plan B if you aren’t gonna cover the whole alphabet?

Jason: There’s twenty-six letters in the alphabet, Little Red.

Tim: Yeah, but plan Z is always the same, so we don’t bother listing it anymore.

Dick: Is it ‘get an adult’?

Tim: Of course not.

Jason: When you were a Teen Titan, how often did you call in an adult when you probably should have?

Dick: Okay, that’s fair.

Jason: So what’s plan Z?

Tim: ‘Fuck it, we ball’.

Dick: That’s not a pl-

Jason: That’s perfect. I love it.

Dick: No. Don’t encourage him.

Tim: Thanks, Red. So do you want me to ask Bunker about helping you? I’m kinda on a time crunch now.

Jason: Yes, please.

Tim: Okay. He’s on the way. Is there anything else?

Dick: Whe-

Jason: No, we’re good. Have fun storming the castle!

Tim: ‘Kay, bye!

Jason: Bye!

Dick: The fuck-

Jason: Bunker and I can handle the interrogation here and Timmy and his assassin friend are gonna be busy with an interrogation there for a bit. If you take off now, you can probably catch up with him and go all big brother like you’re dying to.

Dick: You sure?

Jason: Yeah, I’m sure me and Bunker can handle this asshole.

Dick: Thank you.

Jason: Yeah, well, you did kill the Joker. That’s gotta count for something, right?

Dick: I’ll tell you all about it after I make sure Timmy doesn’t get himself killed or lose another organ.

Jason: I’ll hold you to- Timmy lost an organ?

Dick [already calling Kori to get him to Tim]: Later. I’m on a time crunch now!

Jason: I’m holding you to that!

Jason: *sighs* No one in this family knows how to share.

[milktearosethorn]

I think a lot of 'chronically online' people, especially those who are younger, would benefit from learning more about the history of internet harassment campaigns.

From Gamer Gate to Chris-Chan to Depp vs. Heard to the origins of swatting and everything in between. There is a very ugly undercurrent where once something becomes just cringe enough to be memeable, the alt-right can seize power and radicalize people into committing heinous acts of doxxing and harassment. They make jokes out of some of the most serious issues harming people in our society. The internet has literally pushed select individuals to the brink of insanity and suicide for that sake of joke. Innocent or not, no one deserves a trial by twitter or reddit or 4chan.

It's very disturbing seeing people who self-identify as leftists take part in the milking of the next lolcow. You're playing into the hands of nazis. It's no coincidence that harassment campaigns against Dream had origins in the neo-nazi website Kiwi Farms, and significant parts of the MCYT community chose to carry on this torch. It's disgusting and frightening.

If you're going to participate in online communities and spaces, please, please know the history behind this, and think twice before you follow the next hate mob. These kinds of campaigns are designed to suck people in and appeal to the lizard parts of our brains. It takes an active effort to not take part.

[yuco-the-alien116]

NOM DRIVE!

Hello people of the nom community/e-a/t community/swwh community and any other words we have for ourselves now, I'm alive!

I'm back, and my special treat for yall is one I hope yall will like! This is also kind of an anniversary present for myself and Yuco because the dude has now been an Oc for 2 years now! (God, they grow up so fast)

So to give back to the community and to make me (and Yuco) feel happy, I'm doing a NOM DRIVE!

That's right! I'm doing a nom drive! I have never done one before, but i have gotten tips from others, and this was the best idea I got for Nom Day!

4 art pieces will come out of this drive! 2 when the likes and reblogs are still registered (I will only be doing likes for the first two pieces), and the last 2 will after the likes and reblogs are counted!

But now about who will be eaten by this old man. You can either A. Like the post and a tiny little anon will spawn to be eaten by the lizard alien, or B. Reblog with a photo of your Oc that you want to be shrunk down and nommed! I won't be doing half sized or same size noms for this so if you are uncomfortable with just g/t, sorry this event isn't for you.

Anywasy, the other rules!

Rules go as follows!

1: Only sfw blogs should interact and or participate in this event

2: You are allowed to like and reblog

3: Do not try and rush me, or I will throw you into the sun

4: If you don't want to reblog or like on your account so you aren't seen but also want to participate, message me on tumblr or Discord!

5: Please don't tell me I'm not being "inclusive" for not drawing a half size vore or same size. I know my limits and what I can draw, and I also don't like same size, so sorry

6: Have fun!

I'm very excited to do this this year, and I'm hoping yall like it, too! Have a good one and enjoy being eaten by everyone's favorite mob boss and dad figure. Or maybe just your favorite pred!

[anotherhumaninthisworld]

Frev nicknames compilation

Maximilien Robespierre – the Incorruptible (first used by Fréron, and then Desmoulins, in 1790).

Augustin Robespierre – Bonbon, by Antoine Buissart (1, 2), Régis Deshorties and Élisabeth Lebas. Élisabeth confirmed this nickname came from Augustin’s middlename Bon.

Charlotte Robespierre – Charlotte Carraut (hid under said name at the time of her arrest, also kept it afterwards according to Élisabeth Lebas). Caroline Delaroche (according to Laignelot in 1825, an anonymous doctor in 1849 and Pierre Joigneaux in 1908).

Louis Antoine Saint-Just – Florelle (by himself), Monsieur le Chevalier de Saint-Just (by Salle and Desmoulins)

Jean-Paul Marat – the Friend of the People (l’Ami du Peuple) (self-given since 1789, when he started his journal with the same name)

Georges-Jacques Danton – Marius (by Fréron and Lucile Desmoulins).

Éléonore Duplay – Cornélie (according to the memoirs of Charlotte Robespierre and Paul Barras. Barras also adds that Danton jokingly called Éléonore “Cornelie Copeau, the Cornelie that is not the mother of Gracchus”)

Élisabeth Duplay – Babet (by Robespierre and Philippe Lebas in her memoirs)

Jacques Maurice Duplay – my little friend (by Robespierre), our little patriot (by Robespierre)

Camille Desmoulins – Camille (given by contemporaries since 1790. Most likely a play on the Roman emperor Camillus who saved Rome from Brennus in the 4th century like Camille saved the revolution on July 12, and not a reference to Camille behaving like a manchild to the people around him like is commonly stated.) Loup (wolf) by Fréron and Lucile (1, 2), Loup-loup by Fréron (1, 2), Monsieur Hon by Lucile.

Lucile Desmoulins – Loulou (by Camille 1, 2), Loup by Camille, Lolotte (by Camille (1, 2), Rouleau by Fréron (1, 2) and Camille, the chaste Diana (by Fréron), Bouli-Boula by Fréron (1, 2).

Horace Desmoulins – little lizard (Camille), little wolf (Ricord), baby bunny (Fréron).

Annette Duplessis (Lucile’s mother) — Melpomène (by Fréron), Daronne (by Camille)

Stanislas Fréron – Lapin (bunny) (by himself (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) and Lucile. According to Marcellin Matton, publisher of the Desmoulins correspondence and friend of Lucile’s mother and sister, Fréron obtained this nickname from playing with the bunnies at Lucile’s parents country house everytime he visited there, and Lucile was the one who came up with it). Martin by Camille and himself (likely a reference to the drawing ”Martin Fréron mobbed by Voltaire” which depicts Fréron’s father Élie Fréron as a donkey called ”Martin F”.)

Manon Roland — Sophie (by herself in a letter to Buzot).

Charles Barbaroux — Nysus by Manon Roland

François Buzot — Euryale by Manon Roland

Pierre Jacques Duplain — Saturne (by Fréron)

Guillaume Brune — Patagon (by Fréron)

Antoine Buissart (Robespierre’s pretend dad from Arras) — Baromètre (due to his interest in science)

Comment who had the best/worse nickname!

[starconductor]

Infodump about my OPM OC (Star-Spinner) (WARNING: LONG READ)

NAME: Star HERO NAME: Star-Spinner (Ironic, I know) Age: 18-19

This is gonna be a long read,

Essentially seeing as to how wide and open OPM's worldbuilding is, 'Star' is essentially god's irreversible creation. Formed initially as a thought, but made into reality as a mistake. She was born out of an egg that landed within earth and scientists found and decided to observe.

Nothing in the database tracks back of anything similar to her DNA, because she didn't even have a species of a planet full of what she is. She was an offspring of a being that barely anyone knew was watching and present. Of course, she had a limiter despite being that said offspring of an ominous god.

She wasn't a humanoid, she was born as a bug-lizard type of creature from the egg until the more she grew up within the planet full of humanoids; her body adapted. She grew much like how a human girl would, the scientists gave her limited access to media, basic education. I had plans that Bang was the one who busted her out of that crummy laboratory (Explains the dojo outfit) because 1.) It ran underground, without the knowledge of the government 2.) illegal experimenting on creatures and even people, monsterization, force psychic abilities, you name it.

I got inspired by ONE's MP100, I like how Mob was written as a character so I made someone similar.

Star's essentially a psychic with very potent abilities. She has an internal struggle because she really cares about life that was around her, the only time she'd be hurting someone with her psychic abilities is when she fights monsters/villains. But Star easily sympathizes if ever she meets a human monster with a heart. Life nurtured her, she's found herself with people that care about her and saved her from the hell that was the laboratory. So of course, she nurtures it back, the result of her past being cruel influenced Star to a pacifistic mindset in hopes that no one has to go through the same type of struggle.

=============================

Now, for the dynamics

I NEVER had lore for her, and I only used her for OCxCanon stuff. But here I am, taking back my word 😁 The monster that wants to be a human, and the human that wants to be a monster. That was what Garou and Star was, despite being opposites they got along and related to each other after receiving the world's cruelty. Garou took a strange attachment for Star mainly for the reason that she looked like a monster at first. Unbeknownst to her, Star was a pillar for Garou and his goals to become the ultimate evil. And vice versa for Star that wanted to be a hero. They were practically two peas in a pod until Garou decided to just end their dynamic when he beat up every student in the dojo.

So there was that, they didn't see each other for a while. Star became a hero, of course not without Silverfang himself worrying for his adoptive kid getting hurt in the hero biz. But eventually it worked out when she proved herself to be capable out there.

Did I mention she persisted Caped Baldy Saitama to take her as a disciple? Yeah, important part of her development

During her time in Hero Association she actually witnessed Saitama's feats, several of it. Like Genos, she came off a bit stalker-ish. But she became an apprentice later on after Genos did, she thinks Saitama could be the key to being a better hero and save the innocent. ( I asked criticism from my friends and partner that read OPM as well, gave me the greenlight. )

I do believe that Saitama wouldn't take another apprentice, so in the story I made it that it's in the early arcs that she followed him around and was a little pushy

I think to add a comedic effect she'd offer to cook good meals or even do chores in return of being his apprentice so maybe that's the way Saitama agreed to it in the first place. ( Genos and Star were really just stray cats he took in LOL )

Oh yeah, and her journals she writes/doodles on. She and Genos are rivals that are complete opposites. (Mirror Maiden is my friend's OC)

[kolasharkattack]

Character Ref I cooked up for Art Fight!!! Link his page here!!

Character Description under the cut :]

Name: Orion Holt

- Desert Horned Lizard

- He/Him

- Somewhere in his 20's, actual age unknown

- Married to Polaris Holt

- Orion is the Co-leader of the Blinding Suns, a cult/mob with mysterious sun-based theming that looms over the dusty town of Giant's Ribcage

- Orion is the town deliveryman as a front to keep an eye on the townsfolk, riding from the train station miles away to the town with goods, on his trusty steed named Ember

- Comes off as laid-back and inviting, eager to help the town and its citizens, and is warm and friendly to those he meets. In actuality, he's a calculating, cunning person, using his friendly persona and connections to keep people in line and further the goals of the Blinding Suns

- Always has on hand his golden pistol called Sunspot. Has a deadly aim of seemingly magical qualities, as his bullets always meet their target, no matter how far away

[devilsrecreation]

Some more angsty TLG stuff cuz we all need some angst in our lives

- Tamka having a breakdown over his lack of intelligence in his episode. After he finds out he was being used by the mob and he pushed his friends away, he thinks he’s all alone and starts to cry

- Jasiri remembering her past and how she seems to be forgetting her mother…. oof

- Chungu realizing he’s never going to find his parents (it’s brief, but still upsetting)

- I’m imagining at some point when the OG trio come back, they start inviting themselves into Janja’s life more and more. Shenzi especially does this since she didn’t get to be much of a parent when she was forced to leave the Outlands as to not get suspected for killing Scar by Zira. It’s honestly fine for the Janja at first, then it starts getting annoying when Shenzi (unintentionally) becomes degrading by providing unnecessary protection. It gets to the point where Janja snaps at his mother about how he isn’t a cub anymore and she can’t treat him as such after leaving for so long

- So my Sibling’s Day idea, right? Where Jasiri invites everyone’s siblings over for a celebration and to let them know they’re appreciated? Cute wholesome family moments, right? Well, not for a certain lizard cuz Njano slowly gets more upset the longer he looks at everyone having a good time with their respective siblings, reminding him of Danganya. He legit goes from “Aw that’s nice” to “heh…they look pretty wholesome” to “maybe a little too wholesome” to “just like….him”. He acts all fine when Shupavu asks him if he’s okay but inside he misses his late brother :(

This episode idea is one of the rare times he actually frowns. Njano’s a generally happy skink, but when he gets upset, Danganya has something to do with it

- Reirei: What are you scared of?!

Goigoi: I’m scared of you

Reirei: Me??

Goigoi: I'm scared that... One day, you'll see yourself as I see you... Perfect.. And... That you'll leave me for someone you deserve..

-I think I’ve mentioned this before but Nduli’s trauma caused him to have a fear of abandonment and it shows. Ever since he lost his mother, he’s scared that his float would leave him like the majority of animals he knew. He can’t even handle being alone for a few hours cuz he’ll get paranoid. He’ll try to be optimistic at first, but the more he’s alone, the more worried he gets cuz there’s always a possibility his friends aren’t coming back. So he has to be with at least one of his friends or else he becomes a scared child

There would be an incident in the future when he has kids where the float wakes up at the end of the dry season and one of Nduli’s daughters, Shauri, isn’t there and Nduli straight up has a panic attack (dw she’s fine. She just got woken up in the Dry Season)

-Kiburi frequently still has nightmares about his father’s death. Every time he wakes up, he snuggles just a little bit closer to one of the other float members

-Kenge and Shupavu go through the same thing with Ushari’s death. If only Kenge had been there instead of ditching his only friend…then maybe Ushari would still be alive. Shupavu could have done something instead of staring like a fool, but she didn’t

- Sumu blaming himself for Kenge getting hurt when Mkatili’s chimps attack. Kenge keeps telling him to shut up and that he’ll be fine but Sumu can’t help it

-Selena Gomez’s “people you know” perfectly encapsulates Makuu and Kiburi’s rift

We used to be close, but people can go

From people you know to people you don't

And what hurts the most is people can go

From people you know to people you don't

That’s basically them

-Imagine how Pua must feel knowing that basically all of his friends had passed on. It’s basically that one drawing of all the regular show characters and Skips being the last one left

-Mzingo constantly being reminded of the fact that he nearly killed Janja by trapping him in Pride Rock even though he didn’t know the hyenas were there in the first place

- TW for character death

This isn’t gonna happen anytime soon but…Pua finally completing his journey. It was a peaceful death with all the crocodiles by his side. He has last words for everyone (basically all the crocs we care about). Everyone, even Makuu and Kiburi, cried

Tamka takes it the hardest, he thinks he should have been a better son :(

-Sometime, in the far future, when all the kids are grown up and Wakali’s the new leader of the crocodiles, Nduli’s gonna be the last of his generation to still be alive. He’s still the same Nduli, albeit a bit sadder cuz all of his friends have gone without him. He’s no longer the baby during that time and while he has to be strong for the sake of the float, it’s proven hard for him cuz he can’t help but miss his friends

[teenage-mutant-ninja-freak]

I��ve been reading your work for the past few days (because your work is amazing) specifically the mob turtles and I was wondering if you could write the mob turtles with a s/o who loves exotic pets (like blue tongued skink, sugar gliders, leopard geckos, tegus, armadillos, etc) because I love exotic pets their so adorable I wanna like have a picnic with them and put them in cute fancy outfits

Thank you so much!! I love love love blue tongued skinks so much, had a dream about one the other night and work up sad that I didn't actually have one. If you don't mind, I'm going to run with the last part you said- the boys walking in on you having a tea party/picnic with your exotic pets because I think that could be fun!!

Leo

it's been a long ass night, it's about 9;30 am when he gets back to the lair

he's so ready for some decent sleep, when he cracks open the door to his room and finds you sat on the floor and you're not alone

you've got a blanket spread out, a small china tea set laid out and a bunch of critters all around you who you occasionally have to pick up and put back on the blanket at their place at the tea party

"what you got there?" he asks so confused

"Oh, just a tea party with my favourite people"

"they're lizards..."

"you a turtle and you a person!" you say indignantly

he backs off after that and sits on the bed

"can I join?"

you welcome him in and introduce all your friends

he asks where you got the outfits from and who would sell them that tiny

"I make them, Leo. I'm very crafty like that now drink your tea and stop moving before you crush Mr Beans, he's right there!"

Raph

"That is one freaky looking dog!" he damn near screams when he walks in

you have to explain that you almost collect exotic animals and you love them a lot and that the "dog" is actually an armadillo

an armadillo wearing a cravat and cowboy hat because he's obviously from the wild west

"do...do they bite?"

"Only if he thinks that this town ain't big enough for the two of yous"

Raph is beyond confused

but he likes this weird little world you live in

until he sees your bumblebee ball python

then he is up and running out of the room yelling "NOPE!"

it didn't help that the snake was in a witches hat

"Oh well, don't worry Lady, I think you look lovely"

Mikey

he wants to touch and pick up all of them

I mean like hug them too tight and squish their faces

who let this man near a bunch of reptiles???

oh wait that was you....

he's having such a good time ignoring you telling him to stop and he loves the tiny outfits you've put them in

when your leopard gecko, who happens to be wearing a ruff, latches on to his nose and won't let go

"you've gotta respect their personal space, baby..."

he keeps a safe distance after that

Donnie

"Is that, is that a fucking komodo dragon??"

he is already up and standing on the coffee table

"yes, his name's Biff"

"when tell Biff to stop fucking coming towards me"

you laugh and pick him up, scratching under his chin

you then get a 10 minute lecture about how they're all muscle and their bite is so bacteria filled even if the bite isn't lethal the bacteria will kill their prey within a few hours

you laugh and say "you hear that Biff? You're ripped!"

Donnie doesn't find it too funny

eventually he comes down from his hiding place but keeps a distance

"when I said to make yourself at home here, I didn't really expect you to bring a zoo with you"

[kalmiaphlox]

If You Give a Vampire a Polymorph Scroll Pt 2

Part 1 / AO3 Link / Masterlist

If you give a vampire a polymorph scroll, he's going to sow a little chaos. When he creates that chaos, he'll probably want someone by his side. When he has that someone, they are going to be very, very naughty.

Alternatively: Astarion turns Kalmia into a little lizard. They commit crimes and have fun because Astarion likes some chaos, and Kalmia will never deny him.

Main Tags: Tiny Dragon, blood drinking, payback, Catstarion, dancing on the beach, idiots in love

Hungry.

Food. 

Must eat. So hungry.

Why is that man talking to Astarion?

EatEatEat

The man approaches her and she pauses in her feeding. “Pretty thing that one is, are you a sorcerer? I've heard they carry dragons around to connect with their heritage, so the-”

Astarion has bristled, he doesn't like sorcerers. She knows that. “ Don't touch her. Now run along now, we aren't interested in company.”

Will Astarion eat him? I eat him . 

Very hungry.

“How much for the lizard? It's clearly defective, I can give you-”

Jumping up to his feet, Astarion grabs the man's collar, pulling them face to face, seething with hatred. “Fuck. Off. Before I gut you like the pig you are.” He flashes his pearly fangs in the moonlight, hand inching towards his dagger.

Why not just kill him? They can eat so good . 

FoodFood

The man stumbles back, slipping in the sand before running off for who knows where. 

She's tired of the mindlessness. 

Breaking the spell, Kalmia returns to herself, if a few pounds heavier. By the Gods, she ate too much.

Astarion startles, “How did you do that? I didn't stop the spell!”

Ugh, her head. It's so nice to think normally again. “ Irthiski , you do know beings that shape change can easily shrug off polymorph? I was being nice by playing along.”

“What?! But your mother-”

“ Mother is an ancient fucking dragon, her magic and whatever cheap scroll you used are very, very different. I'd expect a magistrate to read the fine print.” She brushes sand from her body. Oh, she will ache tomorrow. “Why didn't you kill that man? Are you going soft on me?”

“I don't know. I should- ugh, he tried to buy you. I should have torn his damn throat out.” He seems uncomfortable with the subject, strange when he rarely turns down a meal.

“Want to share or drop it?”

Raking a hand through his flawless curls, Astarion groans in frustration. It's always a sight when he's at a loss for words. “He just- He reminded me of some of my targets, from back then . I had a type you could say… before I moved on to literally anyone that would give me the time because it was quicker - didn't want to leave Cazador waiting.”

She had barely acknowledged that man, her damned brain too consumed with consuming. He hasn't spoken much about his targets in specifics, the only one she knows by name is Sebastian, but that's it. “I understand.” They both are struggling with words to say. It's a fragile subject, she'd hate to get it wrong. 

“I know you do. Why don't we go home? I'm more intere-”

“There's the monster! ” They were too engrossed in their conversation to see a mob coming their way. That man is back, with three other people in tow, ready for a fight. “My lady, get away from him! He's a vampire!”

How fucking dare they! Monster? Monster?!

She glares at the offenders, then looks back to Astarion, who is watching her carefully. “Can I kill them, irthiski ?”

He sighs and waves her off, “Knock them out, I'm hungry.”

“ All of them?”

“Ugh, yes. ”

Good enough. Kalmia strides towards the men, it's not quite “pitchforks and torches”, they're a little more prepared than that with some proper armor, weapons and a magic user.

Not that it means anything to her.

The man from earlier speaks, “My lady, are you unharmed? Come quickly to us, we will-” She sucker punches him, knocking the lad out instantly. The three others gape as she lunges for them, smashing two heads together, and punching the last one in the jaw.

Easy .

“My liege, dinner is served.” She bows dramatically with a wave of her hands.

Astarion inspects the bodies, tilting his head this way and that. “Hmm, you split his lip, and that one's cheek is busted. I'll have to deduct some points for the loss of blood. Otherwise, not too bad.”

“ Wux re vi inloil di tawura .” She says with a sniff. 

Pausing his inspections to translate, he chuckles. “Darling, presentation matters… but, I won't complain. Nothing beats having my meals served fresh .”

“You already did complain, but… whatever.” Stepping away to let him gorge, she stares out across the vast ocean, ships bobbing along with the waves and who knows what sea creatures lie beneath the peaceful view.

It'll be warm enough for those swimming lessons soon. She hopes Astarion will still want to (re)learn when they get the chance.

Shuffling behind her lets her know he's done, and turning around, Kalmia finds that Astarion is already taking care of the bodies. She hadn't expected him to fully drain that man , but, hmm… There's no need to push right now. “Want me to dump those?”

He flaps his hand at her, “I can handle it. Only seems fair that I clean up when you provided .”

Eugh, who is this man and what has he done to Astarion? 

She'll let the imposter stay though, they can still have fun.

When the bodies have been disposed of, Astarion sidles up to her with a soft smile, taking her hand and kissing the back of it. What a cute kitty. He always fills her with butterflies, a feeling she once thought long lost to her. 

Intertwining their fingers, Kalmia pulls him close. “Have you ever danced on the beach?”

“Can't say that I have. Do you want to dance?” He feathers the lightest of kisses along her cheek before nipping at the soft skin there.

“I thought you'd never ask!” She laughs, returning his kisses with a deep one, flicking her tongue across his lips. He's clearly hungry for more but she pulls away, “Dancing first, other fun later.”

He groans in an exaggerated manner, but takes the lead, one hand clasped with hers and the other around her waist, pulling her flush against him as they begin swaying together, just moving across the sand in rhythmic motion.

This is no ballroom waltz, it's just two people very in love slow dancing under the moonlight to the music in their head.

It's perfect.

Astarion closes his eyes, resting his cheek against hers. “I dont think I'll ever get tired of all this.”

“I sure hope not, irthiski .”

With a spin and dip, he supports Kalmia as they kiss once more. She feels very lucky at this moment to have not been born with wild magic capabilities, there would have been explosions from how sweet this scene makes her feel.

“Shall we head home, my love?”

“Yes.”

++++

Astarion is practically buzzing as he draws his stolen fabrics from his bags, inspecting each piece diligently for damage and dirt, before writing notes onto some loose parchment.

Kalmia loves the way his brow furrows in concentration and the twitch of his lips when scrutinizing a thread out of place, pulling at it with a look of utter disgust. He should use one of those magnifying glasses to help him pour over each and every filament in the fibers.

When the cloths meet his standards, he packs them away into the side room, where the door is near permanently closed. Only Astarion may enter now, his projects too precious for others to lay eyes on.

Ah, she loves him so dearly.

And she knows, without a doubt, that he returns all that love. Deeply, needily, happily, harshly. 

But he needs to pay the price of his actions. She allowed his prank to extend on much longer than it should have, and someone in the household had asked for a kitty.

Kalmia can provide.

“Mutatio Forma!” Her voice rings out, enveloping her nasty vampire in a purple mist that once dissipated, leaves a spitting cat with the plushest, whitest fur she has ever laid eyes on. 

His coat is fluffy without being poofy, and the tail is swishing around angrily, as he yowls, “What have you done to me? You vile fiend!” There is rage in those blood red eyes, shining like rubies against that gorgeous white face.

Kalmia squeals in delight. “Oh, look at you!! What a handsome boy!” 

He hisses, sharp teeth at the ready with back arched as she reaches forward to scratch under his chin. Any fight in him is lost, becoming a puddle of fur in her hands as he purrs louder than a certain dragon. 

Cradling her kitty in her arms, she takes him to their room so he can admire himself in the mirror. 

Of course, Astarion is absolutely enamored with himself in any iteration. “Look at that shine! Oh, I really do take care of myself.” Hopping down from the vanity, he winds between her legs, tail curling around her ankle as he does so. “Can't you brush me?” 

She obliges, pulling the comb from the bathroom and waiting for him to settle in her lap once she sits on the bed. He curls up tightly, having accepted his fate, while Kalmia runs through his wispy fur with the brush. The hum of his purr is so powerful it vibrates through her fingertips.

If it weren't for other matters, she would brush him until the sun burns out.  

-wux re vi inloil di tawura = you're a piece of work -Astarion is a Turkish angora here. I almost chose a ragdoll or Persian, but I think he'd be a bit more sleek

[morkaischosen]

girlbossed too close to the sun on that paladin-based tag essay and apparently hit the Number Of Tags limit, so it seems to have dropped both the concluding "so I was right where I wanted to be and made no efforts to escape" and also the "I can probably still make that DM throw small objects at me by referencing it" from the Thunder Lizard Anecdote, and also the non-D&D paladin stat delight I threw in at the end for fun.

The latter was in a LARP I played, where there weren't particularly concrete classes but my heavily-armoured warrior-healer from the Chuch of the Builder was obviously a paladin. I'd given him a few knockbacks - I really like that kind of trick on a tank, as getting the enemies *off* your mates is crucial for getting the brick of HP between enemies and squishies.

His most memorable adventure was a gloomy evening on our usual local field, which that day we were imagining was an abandoned fort that had been taken over by a mad scientist who twisted a bunch of people into fucked-up abominations in horrid experiments. We got to the scientist's inner sanctum, a small warded space in the middle of a field of a lot of those monsters, and he began monologuing about his discoveries, and the power he wielded, and how we'd never be able to defeat him.

I circled round, listening, and he paused for a particularly good line- having got right round so the warded entrance, and the mob of monsters clawing and hissing at it, were right behind him.

I swung one clean blow into the middle of his chest, yelled "KNOCKBACK," and got to see one of my more dramatically grandstanding friends vanish under the rest of the monster crew in the full "nooooo I CREATED YOU!" routine.

[astudyinfreewill]

ADAM INFILTRATING BOUDICCA!!!! YOUR MIND!!!! pls elaborate the people need this

oh boy!!! unfortunately my brain is a little too fried from work (i just think video calls of over two hours should be illegal unless you’re bantering with the besties) to come up with any actual plot but like. ok hear me out.

i simply think that it’s such a tragic waste of potential to have this guy who is paralleled with criminals not once, not twice, not thrice but FOUR times (kavinsky/declan/the gray man/mór o corra) and not have him be a little criminal at least ONCE. in fact i genuinely thought, after we were introduced to the fairy market in cdth - what a fucking cool concept btw, and hey isn’t it insane that these were marketed as kids’ books in some forums?? - that this was the direction we were headed!!! bc like declan brings ronan to the market, and tells him to be cool and calculated and wary, but of course ronan is ronan, so that doesn’t end up happening so much. you know however who IS cool and calculated and wary and would have done so so well in such an environment? yeah, you got it, good old adam “lizard son” parrish.

there are hints of this grittiness potential throughout trc as well i think. for instance, adam is the one who thinks to get his dad’s gun at the end of trb; and granted, he actually does so out of protectiveness for his awful mother (because the one thing that keeps adam distinct from his shadier narrative foils is that he has a huge heart, and he keeps choosing goodness even when it’s not his first instinct) - but he still is the one who reaches into that seedier world, where ronan would rather wield a chivalrous sword and gansey shies back from weapons altogether.

we also know what adam is capable of when he doesn’t chose goodness, even if he usually does it for sentimental reasons still: for example, refusing to spare whelk after whelk threatened to kill gansey; or, more glaringly, hatching a nefarious plan to blackmail greenmantle when he threatened ronan’s life. yes he had good reasons for his actions, but he can and WILL go darkside if need be. my dude plotted out a whole criminal case involving grisly child murders specifically to make sure that greenmantle would not only be put away, but put away for a crime that had very good chances of getting him killed.

the other characters are aware of this too - greenmantle himself, yes, but we also get admiring comments from the other two overtly criminal characters in the series - from declan calling adam “a creepily clever little fuck” to the gray man thinking that adam is “cool and resourceful” under pressure and would handle himself well specifically in the context of a shootout. his “criminal adjacent” characterisation stays consistent with that in the trilogy, from scamming rich kids with blatantly fake tarot readings, to oh yeah— hacking into several government databases apparently???

so yeah, when boudicca was introduced as a powerful, shady organisation operating within the magical mafia world, of COURSE i thought adam was gonna be a part of that plot. i was not entirely serious about him infiltrating them since it’s an all-women collective, but he could certainly infiltrate their records if he so chose. a guy who can both hack into your computer AND scry into your thoughts? a guy who’ll point a gun at you AND call down lighting from the sky? that’s a scary fucking opponent, man. i wouldn’t want him for an enemy.

anyway yeah these are my thoughts on mob wife adam who would actually be a lot better at the mob life than his supposed mob husband ronan “let me just hand over my social security number” lynch

[revalentine2]

Mauville Mob! - Team Objective plays Pokemon Emerald

Today, the team grows, in more ways than one!

(Also, as an addition, I've decided to put a team recap into the bottom of every part going forward)

Wally is here...and he's blocking my way into the electric gym??? Does he still only have that ralts?

He still only has that ralts.

Next time, pick up a Magnemite or something, Wally. It'll do wonders for you.

I'd head inside the gym now, but I feel like we still need a bit of prep. let's check out the town.

Oh hey, Rock Smash! Roxanne (She gave me her number btw <3) told me a tip once I could use this HM...we'll need another badge first, though.

Oh, hello, my interview's on! What did I say about Bulwark again-

That is true!

...It was a lot at once, okay? I was under pressure!

There's a game corner here! We have one of those back home. ...Sadly, their doll selection is limited to starters. Shame.

Time to take on the gym! Ah...that electric tang in the air. I hope my team feels this presence one day.

Face me, Wattson!

I see, you are a man of culture! However, I doubt StepStone will have much trouble with her fellow detonator here.

One and done! And it missed its attack, to boot!

And your little dog, too!

A MAGNETON!?...I LOVE Magneton! It's quite lower level than normal. Where can I get one of those?

The confusion is a problem...push through, StepStone...

Oog...We're pretty beaten down, but we've snapped out! Show this man our dedication! Magnitude!

YES! VICTORY!

Oh and you have a bigger dog too. Okay, whatever.

Ok, VICTORY! Ignore that I spoke too soon!

And StepStone has evolved, fully coming into her power! Wonderful job, girl!

I will not be using Golem because one, I'm not sure If I have the means to trade, and two, that is not a rock that is a lizard thing with cobblestone glued to its body.

With our new hidden machine, it is time to head north. I can see the cliffs rising around me already...this bodes well.

A desert! ...That I can not progress into, currently. Weh. There looks to be interesting structures within...

Another cave! And this one appears volcanic. Perhaps I shall discover firey, earthen objects inside?

...No, but instead, I found Koffing! I understand you are a ball of gas, friend, but what are you doing in a volcano? Should you not be in an urban environment? Oh, no matter, welcome to the team, "Skybomb!"

Grimer, too? You have even less of a reason for being here. Are you alright? Do you need someone?

Wait, I'm someone! Join us, "Goo Goo!"

Side note-you can also find Slugma here, and while I would consider it-while resembling a slug, it is made entirely of molten rock-I do want to retain some aesthetics. Also, people would likely not stop making lame jokes.

Now, we need to backtrack to Dewford for a minute...

Back in the darkness of Granite cave, let's see if Roxanne's tip proves fruitful!

It was!

I'll call her Patricia.

Goo Goo is Gentle, Skybomb is Rash, and Patricia is Lonely...decent natures across the board! Glad to fill out our numbers, perhaps soon we'll be able to get a proper sixth.

I will take my leave for now and get these gals trained up. Until next time! Team Objective-because Object Pokemon are Objectively the best!

Team:

StepStone the Graveler (F)

Bulwark the Aron (M)

Skybomb the Koffing (F)

Goo Goo the Grimer (F)

Patricia the Nosepass (F)

[monosminecraftmania]

OTHERSKIN (hermitcraft shapeshifter au)

hi welcome to a spontaneous hermitcraft au that spawned with a side bar from a hermitcraft discord server i joined.

tldr: magical animal skins/pelts/furs/other are able to be crafted and enchanted to allow the wearer to shapeshift into that animal. selkie style.

and this isn't exclusive to just minecraft mobs.

(the strips were done before the full canvas reveal so the edits were: scar has a mask, and i fixed tfc's hair)

in order, left to right, top to bottom.

Bdubs - horse/moss infection :: Cub - skulk/Vex mask :: Doc - goat :: Etho - spider :: False - eagle :: GTWscar - lion/Vex mask :: Grian - parrot :: Gem - deer :: Hypno - frilled lizard :: Jevin - human (originally a slime) :: Impulse - sunbear :: Iskall - hagfish :: Joe - God/Author of the curse :: Keralis - Cat/Loon :: Mumbo - Phantom :: Pearl - Moth/Wolf :: Ren - Wolf :: Stress - Flamingo :: Tango - Ravager :: TFC - Badger :: Beef - Bull :: Wels - Pegasus :: XB - fish :: Xisuma - polymorph :: Zed - sheep :: Cleo - snake

had a lot of fun drawing these little guys, and hey maybe i'll have detailed designs for all of them eventually.

i do love dressing people up.

vote now on your phones. who should be fully rendered first?

[rollinouttahere-writes]

So like Lizard gets into an argument with someone and then when things get heated the person says that she has no place to talk because her dad's Crocodile and she screams that she knows that. And she's sorry that she couldn't stop her dad and that she was ever born and that she still loves her dad despite the shitty things he did and that she hates herself for loving her dad and wishes that she could force herself to hate him but she can't and she's sorry for that. (She's crying while saying all of this)

Rip to whoever said that because there's a mob of people who are going to end them for saying that shit and causing this meltdown from Lizard

Crocodile would feel awful if he heard this. He can't even enjoy hearing that Lizard does still love him, he's too focused on how horribly his actions have affected her. It would be enough to make him actually regret trying to take over Alabasta. All he wants is for his daughter to be happy and now he's truly realizing how much he failed to do that.

[evolutionsvoid]

The people fear the dragons, for they are large, powerful and have a knack for burning entire villages down. How could anyone gaze upon such an incredible, deadly beast and not feel terror grip their heart? Even those who never laid eyes on one have a healthy fear of them, as the many stories and legends inform them of their lethal prowess. Teeth like daggers, claws like swords, wings that could blot out the sun and a horrid breath that can reduce the strongest of fortresses to slag and ash. It is no surprise that these monsters have been immortalized in art, story and folklore. But one must be wary of such thoughts and obsessions, as we tend to focus on the big and blunt, while ignoring the small insidious things that lurk in the background. Dragons are vast and many, their species seemingly without end, yet most only see and hear of the great ones. Those that strike fear in our hearts yet dazzle our minds when we see their magnificent size and prowess. Some believe beauty can only come from bright colors and that danger is only found in the beasts far bigger than us. After all, what could be worse then a winged, fire-breathing monster bigger than a house? It turns out, lots of things....

There continues to be debate on if these creatures are real dragons or not, perhaps some horribly twisted kin that were malformed by magic. Or perhaps a vile species looking to capitalize on a widely feared and infamous look. Regardless, they are wicked beasts that fly upon a foul wind, striking from the shadows and taking those who walk alone. When not on the hunt, they dwell in dark abandoned places, like damp caves, forgotten towers and dilapidated buildings. They wait for the sun to set and for night to cloak their efforts. When darkness covers the land, they take to the wing and hunt. They taste the air for the traces of their preferred prey: Man. When the scent is found, they dive down and strike with blinding speed. Their spiked tail shoots forth, seeking to inject their targets with a powerful neurotoxin, which paralyzes the muscles and leaves prey helpless. They will dodge the desperate thrashing and flailing of their victims, constantly harassing them until they can get a single stab into their flesh. When their prey is downed, they will grab onto their bodies and clamber onto their backs. The spine is what they want, and the underside of their bodies split like jaws lined with eager teeth to latch on. Bony spikes drive into the flesh, anchoring them to their host, while their small head wriggles towards the base of the skull. Tooth and suction will let them clamp down, and their horrible tongue will burrow in to violate the brain. When their hold is complete, they secrete a digestive compound that breaks down both the host's flesh and their own bony hide. It won't be long til the slurry mixes together and congeals, effectively fusing the two creatures together. The wretched wyrm does not want to be separated from its tortured host, especially since there is so much to do. 

With the creature latched on and fused, it hijacks the body of its victim and drives them to the nearest hiding place. They prefer shelter similar to their roosting lairs, but will settle on any forgotten corner to find peace. When their prey is taken far from prying eyes and angry mobs, they begin to inject a transformative fluid into their veins and skull. Within this liquid lies their own essence, and it begins to infect their flesh and bones. Over the course of days, the victim can only watch in silent horror as their body contorts and their skin hardens into monstrous growths. Hardened plates of petrified skin, horribly claws of jutting bone and twisted horns fashioned from fused hair. With each passing day, they begin to look less like human, and more like some terrible hybrid between mammal and armored lizard. Some people call them "lizardmen" or "dragonfolk," for their dry scaly skin, patchy plates and spiny look, but what they really are are humans wrenched into some unnatural shape by the parasite that grows further into their flesh. Some people think them more like ghastly gargoyles, horrible mockeries of both dragon and man, twisting their elegant features and brilliant minds into some misshapen gurgling wretch. When the transformation is far enough for their limbs to resume function, the new found monstrosity will be gripped by a terrible hunger. All those growths and changes used up a lot of energy, so they need to replenish. Plus, they will need all the nutrients they can get for what comes next...

Stumbling from their hiding place, these warped dragon men tear after prey with reckless abandon, thrown into an wild frenzy when they smell meat. They chase after prey with unnatural speed, snarling and hissing like ravenous beasts. Though their wings are far too small for real flight, they aid in great jumps, combining with their powerful legs to launch themselves at victims. When they are upon their food, they will look to jab them with the same venomous tail that doomed them with this fate. Wicked claws and powerful jaws rip frozen prey to shreds, and they gobble down every morsel as if it was the last. When the final scrap is devoured, they are on to the next, gorging themselves in this bloody feeding frenzy. They will hunt all night long, until their bellies are bloated and their bodies soaked in blood and flecks of meat. Or until some merciful soul cuts them down and frees them from this nightmare. Such a task, however, is not easy, as the raging beast views all creatures as food, and can easily rip armored knights in half in their madness. Some survivors of these fights even claim that these dragon men monstrosities have their own burning "breath," as they vomit a geyser of boiling bile during the struggle. If they are not slain and their bellies are filled, they limp back to their hiding place and begin to grow their kin. 

Within their bodies, the eggs of the wyrm will begin to form and multiply, fed by the night's feast of blood and flesh. They develop within the bowels, shaped into wet tumors the size of walnuts. The intestines will soon be packed to bursting with these unborn parasites, growing as many as possible to ensure their horrid lineage survives. In a final violation of the host's dignity and tortured flesh, the whole mass is violently excreted from the anus, sprayed upon the ground and walls in a clumpy crimson shower. Depending on the strength and health of the monstrosity, this act may kill them and their bodies become food for the soon to be newborns. For those that survive, they will be forced back out into the night again to feed and reproduce, ensuring the land is never free from their terrible presence.             

They are blight upon the land and its people, one many vow to destroy. Knights and legendary warriors go out to slay these abominations and burn their eggs to ash, yet these stories are never told. The painters do not shape their colors into these wyrms and their doomed hosts. The bards do not regal crowds with the terror inducing transformation and ghastly abilities. Art is not always about beauty, and folklore does not shy away from the grim, but perhaps there are subjects too wretched and foul to hang upon your wall and share with the local tavern....

------------------------------------------

"Parasitic Wyrm"

Goodness, I wanted to post so many more dragon things for Smaugust, but busy schedule and god awful heat really drained me! But no worries, as they will still show up in short time! Just won't be thematic!

For this fella, I was really pondering on if to include this in the Wrong Table world or perhaps another, but never settled on a decision. So for now it dwells in the ether. Eventually I will come to a real decision!

And jeepers creepers! Where did I ever come up with this design? (Har har)