#lived a virgin died a hoe

[shaylogic]

kiss_eyes1.jpg kiss_eyes2.jpg

[merlynsthoughts]

1st post: backstabbing bimbos

Hello reader,

It is mother merlyn. This blog is for my thoughts and opioions on the world and ofc everyone's favorite thoughts about others. 

Today's topic is some bitches I used to go to Highschool YEARS ago. I know petty and vindictive. They are man stealing cunts. YES, with a big C. You don't take my mans (YES FUCKING PLURAL YOU DUMB BITCHES) (sorry not sorry) and not be talked about until the day that I'm laid to rest whenever that might be. I will in fact live for ever. 

1st dumbass CUNT: Her name, lets call her deb. 

    Deb like to complain how no one wanted her. Well no shit. When you act like a racist self entitled hoe people are bound to not like you. If you truly try you maybe can gain a personality instead of trying to gain an ass. Sweetie you will never gain one. You have no tits either. So when my first boyfriend freshman year (lets call him mark) mark and I started dating she was talking and flaunting her nonexistent goods in front of him. I admit I was talking about him too much. It was my first proper boyfriend after my mini fling in the summer between 8th grade and freshman year. That twat was actually how I met mark. He was also my first but that another post if I feel up to it.  Mark took the bait. WHY WOULD THAT MAN FUCK THAT OUTIE VAGINA HAVING HARLOT????? well he got aids idk how she only fucked one guy. It was before but she used a condom (how do i know??? given I WAS her friend i had the privilege to know every single detail). It might have been her drug use idk. hope she is dead in a crack den.

2nd Hoe bag: his name, lets call him yes him alex.

    I get he is gay. I am an ally to the core. He targeted my second man STRAIGHT after deb.... my second freshman year boyfriend (lets call him jake). Jake was open about his pansexuality.  So this little queer decided to you know fuck him. Jake and I just had sex. Then I told my girls yk. So alex was like if merlyn could get jake i could. Welp he did. I think im very hot. I can get hot man after hot man. I thought that none of those harlots could get normal, rich, well put together men. Alex's ass fell out I MEAN FELL OUT OF THE HOLE. Yess all these men have huge giant horse size cocks. what can i say i like my men hung and full of cum. I have needed to sit on ice from time to time. While dating these men i may have gotten vagina tightening surgery but I like to be (like cupcake says) tight as a virgin boy dont get nervous. Jake did apologize which i thought oh yea hes changed. THEN HE FUCKS ALEX AGAIN both caught crabs from the threesome they had with some other bitch (hope she died when she got hit by that garbage truck after graduation. Havent heard much since. She was never a friend. I hope jake is rotting in that jail cell after he rp'd that 13 girl. But rich people. I guess alex has the ass that turns people into psychos. Like (lets call him jacob) jacob he strangled (lets call her alice) alice (alex's twin sister) she made a joke about one of his exs (who shot his mom). These were all MEN they may have been in hs BUT THEY LOOKED AND ACTED LIKE MEN unless they are cheated on me.

3rd Final Girl: Her name (lets call her gia) gia

    GIA. Girl survived her own horror movie. her dad strangled her mother and her sister shot the dad while the dad was in the midst of strangling her mom. No true hate to her. Its just a mini yap session about this dumb cunt. She didnt sleep with any of my men cause she knew what I did to those skanks (one secret ill never tell). she has her dumbass bitch moments. I love her.

Good bye for now pookies 🥰

[washbear-dramalhama]

My Crown of Thorns

Just random thoughts based on my estranged relationship with my family. After a year and a half of going no contact, distilling a lot of history. I still don't know what crown I'll wear next but at least I don't have to pretend to smile anymore.

Inspired by Cobra by Megan Thee Stallion

Yellin’ in the night, out to burn the house down

Endless frowns as I hold my breath not to drown

Daddy won’t you stop

I think my heart will drop

But mommy stays

Strangling out my days, I don’t miss my parents 

Never good enough, only an abhorrence

Slit my wrists, (they wished I died)

Insist I live but......why are you sad I survived?

Oh holy virgin I’m a hoe,

Guess that means not yo daughter no mo

Only sweet little baby at her side

Smiles so fake I die inside

Who am I? Who are you?

Why do you do what you do?

Stay with the man who betray you

But it’s my fault I’m so blue

Hurt, man put his hands on me

Bleeding on the floor till black is all I see

Doctors laugh at me as I lie dying

Smile painted on but I’m crying

Who am I? Who are you?

What am I supposed to really do?

When all I know is how to be you,

Walk, talk, and act like you.

Feelin like a deranged animal in a circus

Is that a frown? I’m an ungrateful sourpuss

Money changing hands but all you buy is trash

And it's my fault we butt heads and clash

As long as you’re happy, everything is a-o-k

My choices are trigger-happy, a life in slow decay

What is help, when you say I can do it all

Am I superwoman, am I invincible

So mad that I fall, 

my back breaks, have to crawl

Why they lyin to me about what they spendin

I’m only workin' to the bone to make them happy

Paint that smile on my face 

Goin out in the world im a disgrace

Only a failure in your eyes

But you’re sweet and tell me lies

Where their money at?

Where their workhorse now?

I turned away from god, from you

Life is no longer so Prussian blue

There's more than just one shade and hue

Washing away the daughter you knew

No longer praying for deliverance on my knees

To a holy father, son and ghost, just to please

For I am the maiden, the mother, the crone

Sitting on the bones of a gold and black throne

A cloak of shadows and scars embraces my collarbones

From where the crosses burnt their solemn moans

I’ve thrown away the ashes of my crowns of thorns

In exchange for wings that come with my own horns

#prose #cobra #familyisfunny #survive

[thepatronsaintoffilth]

Don’t hate me,,, but all the asks,, pretty please

holy shit anon

i mean okay but holy shit

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

No. The last person I texted was my best friend since freshman year. It's funny because the list of people in both our lives who are baffled that we haven't gotten together or at the very least moved in together seems to grow longer every day. She's straight and about to get married to a guy (who ALSO asked why we haven't gotten together), and the both of us value our friendship too much to have it go to shit by hooking up lol. Also she's not my type

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

Nope. I don't entertain exes. I don't believe in being friends with exes, unless you started off as friends with them. And when I burn bridges, I tend to salt the earth afterwards. Once I'm done, I'm done. I'm out, no one foot in one foot out nonsense. All my hoes will be buried with me like a pharaoh, mummified and all.

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

Yes.

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

Somewhat.

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

They live too far away for that, unfortunately.

6. What are you excited for?

Life in general. That sounds sarcastic, but I've almost died a lot, so its actually very true.

7. What happened tonight?

Same thing that happens every night

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

No more disgusting than when anyone else gets really wasted. Also my bar for "really wasted" is very high as a former binge drinker, so disgusting behavior to me would be like actively pissing myself and projectile vomiting.

9. Is confidence cute?

Confidence is one of the hottest things you can have. As much as body types supposedly go in and out of fashion (a really stupid concept), and people have types and preferences, confidence in ones self can tip the scale in a major way.

10. What is the last beverage you had?

Probably an iced coffee. I make them myself in huge mason jars

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

2? Maybe 3? I don't have many people of any gender in my inner circle, it takes a lot to get there.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

Most of my jeans are skinny.

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

Not sure yet. I could have a movie night with my brother or dinner out with my bestie. Or I might stay in and clean the house.

14. What are you going to spend money on next?

Probably this expensive ass keto coffee I can't get enough of.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

Currently single, so no.

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

I know I will. I've made sure of that.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

My best friend. We can say literally anything to one another and never be weirded out by it.

18. The last time you felt broken?

Last week, for sure.

19. Have you had sex today?

20. Are you starting to realize anything?

I don't ever have a day where I can catch my breath and NOT be realizing some shit

21. Are you in a good mood?

I am!

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

I think that'd be cool, but I'm not a great swimmer.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

Yes.

24. What do you want right this second?

My shift to end. Work is so annoying today.

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

I wouldn't say anything. Wouldn't want to make a scene.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

It is! I've toyed with the idea of getting it dyed like a Crayola red color, like Rihanna had back in the 2010s

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

I can laugh at literally anything, including myself, so its not exactly a requirement from whoever I'm with. I'll be laughing regardless.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

This.

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Someone I used to talk with p regularly on tumblr. They deactivated one day and haven't gotten in touch since.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

No.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

There may have been a day or two where I let myself think so, but no. I wish him well, mostly.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

I certainly hope so, I told them as much.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

I rarely drink sodas for health reasons. If I feel like indulging, I'll get a cola to make an ice cream float with.

34. Listening to?

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

Yes, whenever I need to brainstorm or draft something without spell check or the internet halting my momentum, I'll bust out the old number 2 pencil and my composition notebook

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

I know where he lives. Or at least where he lived when I left him.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I'm not sure.

38. Who did you last call?

A doctor.

39. Who was the last person you danced with?

Myself.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

I thought we had something worth salvaging.

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

Months ago. I think it was a special occasion.

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

No

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

I feel like I embarrass myself in front of literally everyone, so statistically the answer is probably yes.

44. Do you tan in the nude?

I don't really tan except incidentally. If I did, I would probably do it nude, yes.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

No. What's done is done.

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

No

47. Who was the last person to call you?

Probably a debt collector. Anyone who wants to reach me knows to text me

48. Do you sing in the shower?

Only if I have the house to myself.

49. Do you dance in the car?

Yes. I dance everywhere.

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

Held? Yes. Used? No.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

When I was 10 or 11.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

Nope. Not even the cheesy ones.

53. Is Christmas stressful?

Christmas is one of the worst times of year for me, or at least has been for the last twenty some odd years, so yes.

54. Ever eat a pierogi?

Yes.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

Apple!

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

I always wanted to be a writer and still do. I probably wanted to be other things too but then I was told to aim for something more "realistic".

57. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

All the time. It's practically a psychic ability at this point. I'll be hit with a my deja vu feeling and realize I'm standing in the middle of a scene or situation or conversation that I already saw.

59. Take a vitamin daily?

I used to. Now I only take a vitamin for every day that I'm menstruating to compensate for the loss of iron - my cycle is very heavy and irregular to the point of making me anemic.

60. Wear slippers?

More often now than I used to. Usu barefoot

61. Wear a bath robe?

If I'm doing a little spa day to myself, yes. But not regularly or around the house.

62. What do you wear to bed?

Nothing.

63. First concert?

Christina Aguilera

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

Target

65. Nike or Adidas?

Adidas

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

Takis, fuego limon. If not, I'll take hot Cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Peanuts.

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

The only song I like from her is Style.

69. Ever take dance lessons?

No, I took karate for a while. I do love to dance and plan to take classes for adults.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

I'm having trouble picturing a future spouse at all (see #92 for details), let alone their career.

71. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes

72. Ever won a spelling bee?

Yes

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

SO many times. It's kind of embarrassing actually

74. What is your favorite book?

Mildred Pierce by James M. Cain if I had to pick one. Close second would be The Cocktail Waitress, also by Cain.

75. Do you study better with or without music?

Instrumental music gets me in the zone - classical, VGM, electronic, etc.

76. Regularly burn incense?

Semi regularly, off and on. I like sandalwood.

77. Ever been in love?

Probably.

78. Who would you like to see in concert?

MLWTTKK but with the original members

79. What was the last concert you saw?

The Trans-Siberian Orchestra

80. Hot tea or cold tea?

Hot.

81. Tea or coffee?

Coffee.

82. Favorite type of cookie?

Snickerdoodle.

83. Can you swim well?

Not very well. Well enough, I guess.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Yes

85. Are you patient?

I'm not sure.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

DJ

87. Ever won a contest?

Nope.

88. Ever have plastic surgery?

Nope.

89. Which are better black or green olives?

Neither. I hate olives. They taste liked despair.

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

No particular opinion. I don't think it should be that big of a deal. It's just another think it check your compatibility.

91. Best room for a fireplace?

Bedroom.

92. Do you want to get married?

No. I view marriage as an ideal incubator for raising children and consolidating land/money/power. I know for a fact I don't want to have children, so I don't think marriage would be of much use to me.

[shaylogic]

@thisislostinlace

the #lived a virgin died a hoe !!

[recurring-polynya]

I’m a huge RenRuki fan so I’m stoked to find this page of glorious work and active engagement relating to this topic I could go on about! I was wondering... during their separation, do you think Renji and Rukia slept with/dated other people? One more than the other? Just wanna know your insight since you put so much depth into their relationship. I love it. (I personally like to think that Renji had a bit of a “hoe phase” especially while he was in the 11th)

Tumblr is so great, I can’t believe people actually value my opinion on this stuff (this is absolutely one of my favorite topics). Thank you so much for your kind words, and I am ecstatic for the opportunity to pontificate on this topic.

Just to clarify, if you were asking for my opinion on the source material, and I had to “support my opinion” or “cite references”, my actual interpretation of canon is that no, they were absolutely celibate during this time. Rukia had a cute li’l crush on her vice-captain and Renji probably went on one very heterosexual date with a girl once and felt bad about it for a year.

When I am being generous and world-buildy, I like to consider the fact that shinigami are souls. They do not have bodies or hormones and so I can get behind the idea that bonds of family and friendship are far more important than sex and attraction, because those are fundamentally earthly concerns. In the hands of a thoughtful, talented, preferably ace writer, this could be an incredibly interesting setting but that is, uh, not consistent with any other aspect of Soul Society, including the fact that they sell sexy calendars of the captains, plus Kubo took the time out to canonically remind us that Soul Reapers poop and have babies.

So, instead, here is the horny Polynya headcanon version, which is what you probably wanted anyway. I’m putting it under a cut because it gets a little R-rated, and also it’s hella long, but the short answer is Renji absolutely had a slutty phase.

Some people headcanon that Rukia and Renji were actually in a romantic relationship at the time of her adoption, and if that’s your reading of it, and you want to believe that they waited for each other out of loyalty, I suppose I can get behind that.

I don’t think they were together, though. I waver from time to time about how physical their affection got in Rukongai, but I think they fell in love and never admitted it. When their last friend died, they both became absolutely terrified of losing the other, so they came to the Seireitei in order to get strong and not die. I don’t think Rukia ever wanted to be Soul Reaper, to be honest. Given the strength of her principles and her particular moral code, I do think she is a great one, in the style of “I would never want to be in a club that would have me in it.” Consistent with Oetsu’s trial in the Royal Realm, I think Renji was born (died?) to be a Soul Reaper and Rukia knew this and also that he would never go unless she went with him. She absolutely regarded getting him into Shin’ou as saving his life and getting him where he belonged.

Once they were in school, I think they had to keep their distance socially if they wanted to succeed. The Gotei runs entirely on nepotism, and Rukongai kids who don’t adapt are looking at Squad 11 or 4, best case scenario. Even if they were aware of their feelings for each other, they had to play it cool for now. Renji is a long-term planner, and I think he set his sights on pass tests -> graduate -> get Gotei position -> live happily ever after with Rukia. Rukia is not so good at long term planning, and also not so good at formal education and I think she just got depressed and salty, especially because she was never sure if he actually returned her feelings or not. I absolutely think that when she accepted the adoption, she assumed she was leaving Renji to his live his best life, and at least going somewhere she was wanted.

Even though we, the reader, are presented this story as a tragedy, in many ways, this is exactly what they had hoped for. They lived. That’s it. That’s all they ever wanted. Renji got to have his perfect job and Rukia got to live in indescribable luxury. They are both so, so happy about this and have no idea why their faces are so wet right now.

The last thing either of them wants, to be honest, is the other one pining after them. They have each accepted trudging through their life in misery because they think they have made the other happy. There’s a scene were Byakuya shows up to the Squad 6 holding cells to announce to Rukia that he has no plans to save her, and Renji looks just devastated, not just because Rukia’s gonna die, but because he thought he was sending her to happiness.

Also, on a meta level, I am middle aged, and for me, the romance of only ever being with one person is boring as hell. The idea that they would get together and lose their virginity to each other just makes me indescribably tired. Childhood-friends-to-lovers isn’t actually that interesting to me-- it is the separation itself that makes it spicy-- that they went off and had other life experiences-- and sexual experiences, and came back found that they loved this person even more now.

I headcanon Rukia as very horny and pro-sex in theory, but has is a big problem of opportunity. On one hand, I think she and Byakuya have a firm don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy, where as long as she stays out of the gossip columns, he doesn’t care what she does. On the other hand, though, I feel like secret affairs are kinda hard to manage, especially since she entered the noble network late in life. Anyway, I figure she’s had a number of casual affairs, mostly with other nobles who are invested in not getting caught, and also do not have any interest in any sort of emotional attachment. I think Rukia is absolutely bi, and mostly slept with ladies because they were more likely to be discreet, although there was probably a dude or two in there somewhere. Rukia only has two relatinship modes-- detached and ride-or-die, and she was very careful to keep everything in category 1, because she had no expectation of ever having a functional relationship that would go anywhere; no one she was actually interesting in being with would ever pass Kuchiki muster. I think she tried dating a nice boy from Squad 8 once, and everyone in Squad 13 thought it was the cutest thing they had ever seen. They went on three dates and never kissed and Rukia hated it and never did it again. She let herself have a huge crush on both Kaien and Miyako Shiba, because she was absolutely sure it could never go anywhere, and that definitely played into her devastation at their death. She may have had some Bad Decisions Sex in the wake of that, but I think for the most part, the affairs became more trouble than they were worth, and she’s been on a pretty long dry spell around the time we meet her.

That being said, I think Rukia is a lady who takes care of herself, if you get my drift. I think she has an extensive collection of erotic romance novels, a good imagination, and Kuchiki money worth of self-service sex toys. I think by the time she and Renji actually hook up, she has decades worth of pent up fantasies, and fortunately for her, he is intrigued by her ideas and would like to sign up for her newsletter, please and thank you.

Speaking of Renji, let’s talk about Renji! After Rukia left, I think Renji Made Some Plans and buckled down into a long, hard haul of Making Himself Worthy of Seeing Rukia Again. He made it through school, he went into Squad 5 with Izuru and Momo and... lost 90% of his momentum. This is exactly the scenario of the kid who busts ass through college to follow their dream, and then two years into their dream job, realizes that they are going to be formatting pivot tables in Excel for the next 15 years before they get to do anything remotely interesting. At this point, Renji is young, hot, bisexual, inked, and not very satisfied with his day job, and Thus Began the Ho Period.

Momo and Izuru hate this. They hate it so much. They have both had big crushes on Renji since school and they are right there. It wouldn’t be so bad if he would find a nice sweet partner that they like, but no, he just goes off on weeknights and comes home reeking of alcohol and covered in hickeys and ruining his career even though his job performance is actually fine. The fact is, even though he has always acted like he doesn’t know, of course he knows they like him, he’s not dumb, but Izuru and Momo are the type of people who mate for life, and Renji absolutely knows how badly he would break their hearts. He can’t even talk about it with them, all he can do it pretend like he doesn’t notice and hope they’ll realize what trash he is. He still loves Rukia and will always love Rukia and has made peace with the idea that he will likely never get to be with her-- he’s still working towards it because he must, because it would kill him to give up, but he knows that he’s only good for a fight or a fuck and not much else. Their friendship gets increasingly strained until Momo and Izuru can’t understand anything he does and he can’t stand them caring so damn much.

Anyway, this escalates in deciding to leave Nice, Respectable Squad 5 entirely, and joining the French Foreign Legion Squad 11. Squad 11 respects a man’s right to wallow, and Renji takes a swan dive to rock bottom. His only saving grace is his training with Ikkaku, which he takes absolutely seriously. Yumichika eventually takes interest in Renji, and teaches him how to take care of his hair and have standards. Yumichika and Ikkaku realize that if they can make him Functional, they can get him to do paperwork, so they help him beat the Sixth Seat and let him start hanging out with their friends.

Renji is still sleeping around at this point, but at least he’s sleeping around with a better class of people. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, Polynya, has Matsumoto ever pegged Renji? (You probably weren’t actually thinking that) The answer is yes, Matsumoto has absolutely pegged Renji, and she was utterly delighted to give Rukia tips later on. Rukia does not begrudge Renji his slutty period in the least, because she knows that, given the opportunity, she probably would have been Worse, and also, he’s slept with 3/4 of the Gotei and picked her out of all of them, and also, he’s just incredible at oral.

The slutty phase tapered off when Renji had a bit of an actual relationship with Shuuhei. First of all, they are absolutely each other’s types, physically. Secondly, Shuuhei (whom I headcanon as significantly less pathetic and more bisexual than in canon) would be able to handle being in a relationship that is fun and supportive, even if it’s not destined to last. He is well aware that Renji is devoted to beating Captain Kuchiki and that he’s never going to truly be able to be in love with anyone until he gets some closure with Rukia, but that’s a long way off, and Shuuhei’s got his own baggage, who doesn’t have baggage? So they sleep together and go to the bar together and hold hands sometimes and tool around on the motorbike and wear a lot of leather and Hisagi cooks Renji food and Renji eats it and they’re pretty happy for a few years.

Eventually, around the time he gets serious about trying to make vice-captain, Renji starts to hang out with Izuru and Momo again, who have recently made vice-captain themselves, and are really happy to see that he’s gotten himself back on the wagon. He’s started thinking about Rukia a lot again, and he’s feeling a little bad because he loves Shuuhei, but he’s not in love with Shuuhei, and also, Shuuhei and Izuru have started looking at each other when they go out drinking, so Renji claims he needs to concentrate on the vice-captain’s exam and they have some nice breakup sex and then he sliiiiiides on outta there like a good bro and is very happy for his friends when they start hooking up.

Did that cover it? Boy, I had a lot of thoughts on that, huh? To summarize: They both saw other people. Renji had way more sex, just a tremendous amount of sex, but always carried a torch for Rukia (not really intentionally, I think he would have liked to be able to get over her, he just couldn’t), whereas I think she really did give up on him for a while.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, please read my fanfiction, where I am constantly hinting at all this stuff, I swear I will eventually finish that Squad 11 story.

[bunnykass]

INARIZAKI AS FEELING IVE HAD WITH GUYS IN HIGH SCHOOL

this was supposed to be funny but became very reflective and sorta emotional for me. therapeutic tho😌

TW: mentions of underage n*des, cursing, grammar and spell errors

KITA - the senior in my law class freshman year.

He was country, would wear cowboy boots to class and levi’s (i live in texas). He was a eagle scout. very sweet boy. always brought coffee in those cups to class,and he drove a range rover. i’d share sunflower seeds with him all the time and id make fun of him cause instead of breaking the shell and eating the inside, he’d just eat the shit whole. but like i said he was 18 and I was 14. more of crush we never really did anything, one time though he did argue with me on snapchat about immigration and the annexation of hawaii. He had a brother who was a freshman, and in the beginning of the second seamstress I would flirt with him but again me and never did anything.

OMINI - my freshman english teacher

(tw mentions of sexual assault, grooming, teacher-student relationship)

LMAOO. i had just gotten really into lolita (gross🤮) and so I would literally talk to older guys on the internet (one time i met up with marine even though I was like 15) ANYWAY, so when I started his class i was like damn we about to have a ezra and aria shit. he was super nice to “pretty girls” and “pretty boys” what I mean by that if you weren’t the beauty standard, he was kinda a dick to you. one time he pissed me off though cause he lost a assignment, made me re-do it but only gave me a 70, and i lost interest in him after that. he also accused me of defamation of character because i found his mugshot and was showing everyone.btw he was accused of SEXUAL ASSUALT??? but apparently the mugshot was fake or wasn’t him i don’t remember. he never counted me late or absent tho

ARAN - my best friend

been friends with this kid sense 8th grade. He was in love with this girl though that was leading him on all though out middle school but i really had a crush on him by the time high school started he had gotten over her. when we were freshmen’s he told the whole football team I was a whore cause i wouldn’t send him nudes (i know this sounds bad but i promise it wasn’t plus this was 3-4 years ago) so we didn’t talk to each other till summer going into sophomore year. me and him are still friends and we literally hang out almost every weekend, i love him and he’s loves me. he’s very thing i’d want in a boyfriend but because we’ve been friends for so long doing intimate things with each other like sex seems weird. While we both wish we could be in a relationship we both realstically know it wouldn’t work :(. <3

GINJIMA - my freshmen boyfriend

had fallen in love with me when like school started but like my best friend aran said, i was whoreing’ (not really tho cause i’m still a virgin) so when he asked me to homecoming I was like no. but eventually through out the school year me and him got closer we had like 3 classes together, 2 of them were back to back so we were jus cute like that. my first legit relationship, he was nerdy as hell and the biggest fucking dork. my freshmen year I was what the yt would call a hot cheeto girl and i weighed a lot more back then and he was 6’2-skinny white boy so we fucking looked like glora and melman from madagascar. were like discord moderator and daddy’s kitten shit. he was funny but he was really mean to me and because i was very insecure at the time i lacked setting boundary’s so i’d just take it. he also bought me a roku which i still have today, he was always buying me shit, and i taught him how to take dick pics. he was the first guy that didn’t just like me for my fat tits but i felt like the only way i could keep him around was by oversexualizing myself which ultimate let to him breaking up with me :( honestly no hard feelings though we were both like 15. him an his current girlfriend are so cute, and me and him are cool.

this is a conversation we had a few weeks ago.

SUNA - my yubo boys

my take away from being in highschool is guys do not give a shit about what you look like or how you’re built, unless they’re insecure, and also self-worth. I got on yubo my sophomore year and had it till my junior year. if you don’t know what yubo is its essentially a teen dating app. now i never went to meet these guys irl i have friends who did... and i just want to stay ted bundy would’ve had a field day with these hoes but would engage in online sexting. which ig is illegals cause i was still under 18. at this point in my life i was just so insecure and seeking male validation that i was throwing ass for people over the internet to people i would never meet. this isn’t one person either this is a collective of i don’t even know how many boys. i feel sick thinking about this but i cant take it back and i just have to encourage my sister and potentially future daughters about this.

Miya twins - my tower moments

these two, like the miya twins are very similare but different. I consider them both tower moments because after them two i change completely how i viewed myself and life. if you aren’t familer with tarot the tower card represents sudden and necessary changes usually the situation tends to me negatives and the outcome following is good. these two are also my most recent compared to the other and i’m still dealing with them today which is why i wanted to give a lil intro. idk if yall believe in astrology but those two have gemini in there big 3 and idk i feel like that has a lot to do with our situationship

OSAMU- my theater teachers son

so technically majority of our relationship was middle school but it carried into high school.he was so mean to me up until 8th grade like i said he was my theater teachers son, and he hated her class. at that time his family had so many issues and i think he didn’t have a outlet. my brother had died around the same time so i too was going through shit. while our issues weren’t the same he definitely confined in me a lot and trusted me with so many things, i don’t think a boy/guy ever just laid everything on me like that and it wasn’t in a “be my therapist” kinda way. he fucked up though, we were in musical theater behind the stage in a closet. his mom was just a couple feet away in the audiences teaching class. me and him were talking per usual, and without a warning he put his tongue down in my mouth. and tried putting his hand down my bra. i was so fucking scared i had never been touched like that. it was my first kiss and i didn’t even tell him he could do that to me. i obviously stopped taking to him after that until the summer going into freshman year when we started sending nudes back snd forth. i don’t like to blame people for my problems but i think i began to hyper sexualize myself because of him. when i wouldn’t send him shit he’d block me, ive finally outgrown him as i now my self worth know occasionally i’ll unblock him and hang out with him for fun but it’s nothing serious. he’s stuck on me like tic though and always bring up the fact he kissed me once in 8th grade 🙄

ATSUMU - my “twinflame”

he was a year older then me and i met him on snap chat that should’ve been a red flag. we started by sending nudes but eventually we started to develop feelings however as soon as things got serious he’d pull out. when his relations with other girls wouldn’t work out he’d always come back to me during that time together he’d love bomb me. take me on dates make out with each other in front of hobby lobbies on sunday, my happiness started to depend on if he talked to me or not and this went on forever. by the time quaratine happened he blocked me because he got a girlfriend? idk if that’s why he blocked me but i assumed that eventually he unblocked me because pussy that good. i gave this man so much power over my life that when i took it back i truly learned by self worth. i will never tell this man this but because of all the shit he pulled on me i’m actually confident. i don’t regret meeting him. occasionally he does try to pull his shit on me and i play along with him. i think the reason i can’t let my gemini boys go is because i’m too scared for a relationship but i know that no matter what they’re both their for fun 😌.

[queensdivas]

Hidden Blade Chapter 2

Did this all on a plane and a little bit today! Now that I’m done I plan on working on even more shit. Like my god has this winter break been busy af. But I hope you enjoy the new chapter because it was a little longer than I wanted it to be. 

Whoops. 

IF you would like to be tagged please let me know!

Next Chapter

Previous Chap

Masterlist 

Have you actually ever watched an episode of Leave it to Beaver? What even is that show? I get watching like Little House on the Prairie, M*A*S*H (God I love Mash) and even I Love Lucy. But it feels like this dude one loves his family shows. Don’t really see why but who the heck else knows in this crazy world. 

I walked into one of the trailers to see a very large English Mastiff come from around one of the shelves to start sniffing me. Slobbering all over my legs since wearing shorts instead of jeans or some sort of Eddie Bauer travel pants. 

“That’s Wally. Careful his slobber goes everywhere.” Four was flipping through a pile of passports as I looked at the wall that was covered with pictures, news articles, and maps. It kind of reminds you of that meme where the dude looks completely insane while trying to explain something. I sat down on one of the desk chairs that was empty as I noticed Leave it to Beaver was playing. 

“Did he get you hooked into it as well?” I leaned back as I noticed a large file that had Murat Alimov with a big red CIA stamp on it. Juicy! 

“So how come the people of Turgistan hasn’t revolted against the dick hole in charge?” Four asked as I opened the file to see his picture. 

“They need someone to get behind in order to start the revolution. Ya know. Someone to get behind. The French got behind Maximilien Robespierre, the people in South America had Simon Bolivar, and the list goes on and on. So without someone to properly lead them, what’s the point of starting a revolution when you don’t have someone to lead.” I began skimming through his file to see that THE STUPID AMERICANS GAVE HIM BACK TO HIS BROTHER!? Never let them do anything!!

“So how did one find you?” He asked as I closed the file then threw it on the desk. 

“Ummmm. God it was really weird and very ummm..perfect timing I should say.” Wally came over to put his head on my thighs as I began scratching the top of his head. 

“I travelled to Ahmedabad after the Assassination in South Sudan where I planned on shutting down a board of nasty men who were shipping child brides all over the world. Yet something that I have a nasty habit of is trying to put on shoes way bigger than mine!” 

8 

“ALI RUN YOUR ASS!” Screaming as I turned the corner that was leading towards the great hall of the palace. Ali came behind as guns began shooting at us from the top of the stairs. The front doors burst open as I darted to the left. 

Ali followed swiftly behind me as we slid into one of the living rooms to duck behind a couch. I released my mag to see I had eight rounds left, and we have to battle an entire palace full of guards! At Least the board is dead so that stops this nasty shit in this house!

“Ali! There’s a drop through the dining room that leads into the river!” I yelled over the gunfire as he checked his mag to count his bullets. 

“I got six! I’ll keep you covered!” He popped his head up to shoot one of them coming into the room. I popped up to shoot another guard as more came through the front door. God damn it we’re screwed! 

“You get your ass out of here now!” Ali screamed as I crawled over to where he was bunkered down and handed him the rest of my mags. 

“You follow me alright!” Grabbing a bottle of scotch then ripping apart of the sofa for the rag. I stuffed it, shook the bottle then pulled my lighter out of my pocket. I lit it then chucked it over to the middle of the great hall. 

“GO GO GO!” I yelled as we got up from behind the couch towards the window. He smashed the glass as I stuck my head out to see the drop. Jesus Christ that’s a little too high. Fuck fuck!

I climbed up onto the window ledge as I was about to jump as Ali began climbing up but was stabbed in his back. 

“SHIT ALI!” With his last bit of energy he pushed me off the ledge.

Sitting in my apartment as I stared at the picture of Ali and I during our weekend trip to El Arish. The one time I think it;s okay to work with a partner we end up becoming best friends and he gets stabbed in the back! Don’t worry I’m not one of those people who are like “I work alone since everyone I’ve loved has died!” Usually it’s too much work to have a partner or some sort of companion when it comes to this kind of work. 

Someone lightly knocked on my door as I pulled out my dagger to slowly approach the door. Fuck fuck who knows I live here? Looking through the peephole to see some GAP looking guy standing right infront of the door. Swinging the door open as it scared him a little bit till he held up his arms towards me. 

“Relax Machete. If I wanted to hurt you I wouldn’t have knocked on your door would I?” That’s what most people thought in the seventies and look how many people died because they thought this was...as I opened the door for this stranger.  

“I promise I’m not here to hurt you or anything. May I come in?” I can handle myself I think so if he tries something I’ll kick his ass. I lowered my dagger a little bit to move out of the way for him. He came into my apartment to look around in my little hole in the wall. 

“Cozy.” I followed him on the other side of the room. 

“Good idea. Keeping a safe distance from me. Which is why I’ve been looking at your field work. What you did in South Sudan and recently in Jordan. Quite impressed that they haven’t tracked you down yet.” He stared at the large replica painting of The Virgin on the rocks. 

“Love some Da Vinci paintings.” He acts like a much calmer Deadpool, also not as sarcastic as him. 

“So. Who are you? A rich person looking for security, I’m not a hitman so I’m not going to kill someone for ya. Drink?” I made it to the liquor shelf as I grabbed the bottle of Shieldaig Speyside. 

“No thank you.” He walked away from the painting then over to my original Pierre Mignard. See when you shut down a nasty group of people, I wanted this picture of some random women. I stood away from him still as he turned around, I took a sip of the drink as I waited for him to explain himself. 

“I get the feeling you enjoy killing those who want to cause harm onto the innocent. You wanna know what I see in you? I see someone who's willing to do some crazy shit in order to save the world. I mean you just jumped out of palace after destroying a child marriage cult. What if I could give you an endless amount of resources, even more targets, and more hands?” Definitely some better resources would be nice. But there is always some sort of catch in this situation. 

“You’re exactly what I’m looking for. Someone who isn’t afraid to truly get their hands dirty to save the world.” I do enjoy saving little parts of the world. 

“Now imagine taking down even bigger ass holes of the world.” Am I finally going after all of North Korea? God I really wanna destroy that pig with all my mighty! 

“So what’s the catch exactly?”

“You’ll be dead and can’t ever see your loved ones again.” Well jokes on this dude, haven’t seen my family in years and they probably thought I was dead anyhow so this works perfectly! 

“I’m in. Don’t worry about my family because they think I’m dead anyhow.” I walked over to him to shake his hand. 

“How the fuck he found you is still bizarre. Still have no idea how he found me in the middle of a robbery.” Wally began walking away as I put my feet on the desk. Now I’m super curious how he met the rest of them now since he ended up stalking me. 

“How did he find you?”

He began telling me how the robbery he was apart of turned into a shit hole of a plan for his ex girlfriend to basically take the jewels instead of saving him. Doesn’t surprise me in the slightest because hoes be loyal. His eyes...are just so damn enticing. The way the sun brightens them reminds you the top of a forest. A very endless forest before you. That little scar next to his eye is just very nice to look at as well. Kind of weird but I enjoy it. Does he have knuckle tattoos? (For the record I am listening, it’s called multitasking.) 

“Jesus he set you in a saw trap?” He reached into the mini fridge for two bottles of water since the sun was warming up the trailer like a sauna at this point. 

“Yet here you are getting a calm welcome when I thought the guy was going to blow off my fucking face.” He slid the water across the desk as I cracked it open. Wally and his drool began sniffing the water bottle as I tried to drink it. 

“But he did save my life after the fall so that’s the only good thing that happened that day.” He chugged some of his water as I nodded in agreement. 

“Wally. Wanna get my soldiers out and have a battle.” Beaver asked Wally as The next episode of leave it to beaver began playing so I turned my focus towards the tv. 

“Nah.” Wally told Beaver. Four turned up the TV as I noticed a box of Cheez-its next to the desk. I’ve heard these things very good for most American snack food.

“Four we’ve scored!” I yelled as I began opening the box of Cheez-its. Back to the show. We watched as Wally and his friends were tackling each other with Beaver stuck underneath them all.

“Poor Beaver. Such a sweet little kid.” I stuffed a bunch of cheez-its in my mouth then passed four the box. 

“One is completely obsessed with this show, he makes all these references for it all the time. I think he’s an orphan actually, we got a little bet on it if you wanna put some money in.” Now that I think about it, I can totally see one being some sort of orphan or in the system. 

“Forty dollars.” I reached in my pocket to pull out my wallet, grabbing a couple of fives handing it to him. I know we should be working on finding his brother, or doing some sort of work but this is much more fun. 

“Wait they’re gonna charge Beaver three dollars just to join their club? I get that hanging out with little siblings can always be some sort of bother but wow what ass holes. Imagine being that cruel.” I commented as I threw a Cheez-it at Wally's friends after the tv. 

“Man. A time when your six year old son could talk to a random stranger asking on how to make money.” Four and I chuckled as Beaver came walking out of the garage with his “this space for rent sign” on him. I mean he’s trying harder than most people in this world so I have to give him credit where it’s due. 

“You two done? C’mon. Three thinks he onto something.” Five stuck her head into the trailer as Wally walked away from me as he kept to box of cheez-its with him. 

We walked into the trailer as three was listening very closely to a phone conversation as one and seven were talking to each other. I get the feeling that shit is about to go down if three finds the location of the four generals. 

“His top General knows the location of him so once they leave Turgistan for something, we go after them and figure out where the brother is.” One told seven as I began looking at the four pictures of the fuckers themselves. 

“You ever met people like them?” One asked as I kept staring at their pictures. Four handed me a box of Cheez-its. 

“I mean all monsters of humanity are usually either fat, old, or a man. Hell even all three for some massive destruction if history says anything. Or they have weird facial hair like Stalin or Hitler. Except for Elizabeth Bathory because that bitch was truly...

“Guys. Shut the fuck up.” Three barked as his face went from focused to ecstatic in a matter of seconds. 

“AH we’re going to Vegas baby!” Three laughed as he put their conversation on speaker. 

“This arms dealer will be meeting you at the speedway track around two for the deal.” God this is disgusting. Instead of trying to make our country a better place, go to Vegas to fuck some slut, spend your money, and to add on top of that get some dangerous chemicals so we can kill more people. Love it! 

“Las Vegas has more facial recognition software than any place on Earth.” One began telling two and three as I began turning down the volume of their conversations. 

“Oh I know what I’m gonna be!” Get this sinking feeling he loves dressing up. 

“Choose your disguises wisely.” Disguises? I have to dress up? If they think I’m going to wear a pencil dress, twelve inch heels, and a face full of makeup I will leave right now! 

“I’m a grown man, I can handle my shit.” 

“I don’t think that’s how the expression goes, don’t handle your shit. Flush it down the toilet like a grown-ass man. Be subtle. Blend in. Disappear. Me, two, and three are going to figure out where on earth they’re hiding his brother. Eight and four I want you two to intercept the gas, destroy it all, find the supplier and eliminate him. Sounds easy enough?” Yes. Going into Las Vegas, finding a bunch of illegal gas, destroy it, and be home by five. Definitely easy. 

“Just one question. How do you even destroy Sarin gas? Look I’m a pretty smart lady but destroying gas is something I’ve yet to achieve in my life one.” 

“Here. Study this before we leave for Vegas. Ya got 24 hours to nail it.” He slid a book across the table. 

How to Disable Sarin Gas Bombs for Dummies. 

Written by a Genius.

Handwritten and in a bright green binder. Glad to know we make handcrafted things in this squad. I opened the binder as it showed a step by step on how to disarm them. Kind of like when you’re building a lego set. Except instead of joy you get when you’re trying to build a spaceship, you end up pissing your pants because one fatal mistake and we die! 

“Love the homemade touch one. Very professional and doesn’t make me want to shit my pants in absolute fear.” I picked it up as we began dispersing.

“I’m just gonna take this with us. Rather us not die.” Telling four as I handed him the binder for him to start skimming through the binder. Gotta love the fact that my first mission with these guys is disarming a bunch of chemical bombs. Getting that sinking feeling again that they’re a bunch of chaotic people doing chaotic things. 

It’s absolutely perfect.

Taglist: 

@bonafiderocketqueen @filmslutt @imjustboredso @intoanothermind @4lendow-norris @wickedholland @takemetoneverland420​ @raylan-c​ @itsmeaudrieee​ @leah-halliwell92​

[sammysreelreviews]

Counting Down The 10 Most Shocking Moments From My Favorite TV Shows

So I just finished Jane the Virgin and it inspired me to make a list of moments in television that had me fucking SHOOK. Maybe some other things happened in the show that were just as crazy but these are the moments that affected me personally. This list was so spontaneous but it might be my favorite one cause it was a nice trip down memory lane. Any who, here are the moments that have fucked me up along the years! 

WARNING: LOTS AND LOTS OF SPOILERS!!!

10. Gossip Girl: The Dark Prince

Let’s be clear Gossip Girl stopped being the show it was by season 4 by adding insane story lines but one that was realistic was Queen B marrying a real life prince! Although there are some minor hiccups Blair finally has the dream wedding she always wanted. Unfortunately everything comes crashing down when Louis basically tells her that she means nothing to him and the marriage is now just for show. This SHOOK me cause Louis was such a good guy until that exact moment. Ugh the moment he whispered those vile words to Blair her heart dropped and so did mine.

9. Elite: So who’s actually dead?

From the beginning it was clear that one of the promiscuous teens of Elite was going to die it’s just not who you’d expect! In the first episode you find out that it’s none other than Marina! She was such a big part in the first episode I didn’t think her character would be the one to kick the bucket. Yes I am aware that the real mystery of the show is who’s the murderer but Marina being dead threw me for a loop.

8. On My Block: The Quinceañera from Hell.

On My Block is supposed to be funny and it was until the last fucking episode of season one. Ruby decides to throw his crush Olivia a Quinceañera and everything goes smoothly, she even gets to face time her parents that got deported, until Cesar’s past comes to crash the party. Let me explain. Cesar finally joined his brother’s gang and had the job of executing Latrelle who’s from an opposing gang. Cesar is too sweet for his own good and lets him live. Unfortunately Latrelle shows up to Olivia’s Quinceañera, uninvited, and fires at Cesar but hits Ruby and Olivia in the process. In the end of the episode two ambulances are on their way to the hospital and ones lights go off indicating one of them has died. At the beginning of season two we finally find out that Olivia has passed which is sad and like talk about the worst birthday party ever!

7. Pretty Little Liars: Boo!

There were literally 100 different A’s on this god forsaken show but the final A reveal was definitely the best. Spencer and Ezra have been kidnapped by A in a weird underground whatever thing and Spencer wakes up to her reflection only it’s not her reflection ITS HER TWIN. The elite PLL fans like myself always had theories of Spencer having a twin but when it actually happened I couldn’t believe my eyes. When Alex puts her hand down and says “boo!”... chills literal fucking chills.

6. Vampire Diaries: Dead girls walking.

I could honestly make a list of the top ten shocking moments from the Vampire Diaries alone but this one had 15 year old me shaking in my Ugg boots. Jeremy’s first love Vicki died in season one, which was like WILD for 2009 let me tell you, and his other lover Anna also died. In the season two finale we see two shadows walking around following Jeremy in his house and they’re none other than Vicki and Anna looking straight at Jeremy and even speaking to him. At this point in the show people coming back from the dead was unheard of and this is why it beat everything else.

5. Dark: What REALLY happened that night?

Ok so Dark has a lot of WTF moments like the entire show is a total mindfuck but in season 2 they answered a question and I was not prepared for the answer. Let’s back track realllll quick. Mikkel goes missing in the woods one night and no one finds him BUT Mikkel is alive and well he’s just in the year 1986! In the cave he went through there was a wormhole that took him to the past but the question was, how the fuck did he even end up there!? In the last episode of season two Jonas, Mikkel’s son (I know it’s confusing) goes back in time to stop Mikkel from disappearing to make everything right. Jonas talks to his dad, adult Mikkel, and Mikkel drops the bomb that Jonas was the one to lead him to the fucking wormhole in the first place!!! Everything about this show is absolutely insane but I mean this shit was INSANE. I literally could not believe what I was hearing and honestly neither could Jonas.

4. Jane the Virgin: Have a nice day bae!

Michael begins his day going to take a test and he doesn’t come back. I am so team Michael just so y’all know so I loved the flashbacks of the fair with Jane this episode. What I DIDN’T like was the end of this episode. When Michael “died” I dead ass did not watch the rest of season 3 until it was streaming on Netflix. I sobbed so bad and then at the end of the episode when Jane gets the phone call that Michaels “dead” WOW that shit HURT. Thankfully I decided to keep watching the show cause at the season 4 finale Michael is alive and well but has a little amnesia. I literally will never forgive the writers for ripping my heart out and stomping on it.

3. American Horror Story: Running in circles.

Violet tried to kill herself and Tate saves her by making her throw up except, she didn’t actually survive. Violet is depressed and stays home and it’s not until she tries to leave the house do you realize she’s actually been dead for a couple episodes. Its heartbreaking cause she’ll be stuck in that house forever but the moment you see her dead corpse was absolutely disgusting and heartbreaking at the same time.

2. Skins: Where’s Cook’s main hoe?

When Skins came back for a 7th season wrapping up the lives of Effy, Cassie, and Cook I thought we were gonna get some closure but what I got from Cook’s episodes was very unexpected. There’s honestly a lot going on in Skins Rise but Cook’s second episode has him facing off his psychotic boss Louie. Let me give a little backstory. Cook deals drugs for Louie but Louie made Cook drive his girlfriend Charlie around. Cook being Cook fucks Charlie while simultaneously cheating on his own girlfriend Emma which makes it super awkward when the three of them runaway together to get away from a psychotic Louie. Before Cook absolutely beats the shit out of Louie he’s in the woods looking for Emma and he fucking finds her in a clearing HANGING on a tree!!! Like WHAT THE FUCK!!! Skins has never been THAT brutal and I honestly think it was the most jaw dropping moment that ever happened on the show. God I love Skins but I did NOT love that death like can my baby Cook just be happy!?!

1. Degrassi: The Next Generation: A night to forget.

I was 13 the first time I got my heart broken, the perpetrator, Degrassi: The Next Generation. I was OBSESSED with this show I watched it from the very beginning. JT was my literal MAN like I loved him so much and when they CRUELLY killed him off I legit didn’t want to go to school the following Monday. JT dying is number one because it was my first big TV death and I’ll never forget it along with Liberty’s blood curdling screams.

[vrenaewrites]

HUSH HUSH by Becca Fitzpatrick thoughts: Prologue - Ch 11

Full video here.

We start right away with a bible verse which, if you’ve read any of my books, you know I’m a big fan of

We have a prologue from 1565 France…

The visual of a person perched on a gravestone and mistaking them for an angel statue at first is cool tbh

“Who are you?” “One of the devil’s brood”

The mind control parts of this I like, and I already have a feeling this is the gonna be the best part of this book

Except we don’t get another example of someone fighting it the way he is fighting it - nora doesn’t even realize it’s happening when it happens to her which isn’t as fun

The guy being maniped is a duke and the angel tells him no you’re half fallen angel so do what i tell you (nephilim)

This angel doesn’t have wings but a big cut in the shape of a V on his back

CHAPTER 1

The image of a barbie and ken taped to the chalkboard of the sex ed class is great

Her best friend’s name is V!

“Camera phones to take photos for the school E-zine”

Oh shit she’s a hoe

“V as in virgin” never mind

“It may not have occurred to you kids that sex is more than a 15 minute trip to the backseat of a car” lmaoooooooo

Is this book gonna be good? Did yall lie to me??

The school e-zine

V is a “few pounds over curvy” damn

V is my “untwin” i love that

“I’m all legs like a barstool”

The sex ed teacher is making them all sit by new people...in april…

She knows everyone except the transfer who of course is her new seat mate...this is a very convoluted way to get them to sit together

“It was a smile that spelled trouble with a promise”

“Human reproduction can be a sticky subject” LMAO

“Call me patch. I mean it. Call me.” and he winks

He takes pictures “of an ezine columnist who…” and describes a bunch of stuff about her and she’s like what the fuuuuuuck

And then he is like “you’re scared of what you can’t control”

He knows she plays the cello

She doesn’t wanna ask for another partner because she doesn’t wanna let him win and i’m like NORA CALL THE FUCKING COPS!!!!!!!!!! THIS GUY HAS BEEN STALKING YOU?!?!?!?

She has a cut on her wrist, her dad was murdered

At the end of class he gives her his number so she can get her answers - she no longer has it by chapter 18 but doesn’t remind the reader that she did have it written on her hand so we just think becca forgot nora already got his # for a bit

She’s a sophomore, he’s a senior

He has black eyes and wears all black because ofc

CHAPTER 2

They get a lot of fog and don’t have many neighbors

Mom is an auction coordinator so she’s not around a lot so there’s a german housekeeper that watches over her

But she leaves her alone at night...i already KNOW patch is gonna be “Watching over her” ala edward watching bella sleep i just KNOW

She’s thinking that patch seemed closed off but she liked what she had seen - aka his bod

“Smile that was part playful, part seductive” NOTHING about the interaction y’all had sounded seductive!!!!!! This is exactly like in crave when she’s getting horny that jaxon is yelling at her...like these men seem UNHINGED. Why is that sexy????

“Biology was my toughest subject, i teetered between an A and a B” i’m gonna punch you. I know you wanna go to ivy league so this matters but…

She calls patch!!!!

She asks if he wants to meet up to finish the assignment...you couldn’t...ask...over the phone??

“Nora” he says my name like it’s the punchline to a joke

He hangs up on her because he’s playing pool

She starts her assignment anyway: “jerk” “smokes cigars, will die of lung cancer, hopefully very soon” i laughed v hard tbh

“Excellent physical shape” and then crosses that out lmaooooooo

She flips a coin and it makes her decision: go to the arcade and confront patch

The cashier is pissed that she didn’t pay to get in so she sneaks by

“I was like a rolling snowball gaining speed and momentum” weird out of place metaphor but ok

Patch says she’s with him and the cashier lets her go

His black eyes are magnets clinging to her every move

She feels something different here, more animosity, more electricity...more horniness

“Queasy tap dance in my stomach”

Something about patch wasn’t right, something about him wasn’t normal, something about him wasn’t safe

“Biggest dream” “to kiss you” she doesn’t buy it so like good for her but still blech

Patch says he’s never been to school before and nora’s like you’re a liar

And he says he came because of her

He says “those cold pale grey eyes” are surprisingly irresistible

There are almost zero connections between what she’s saying and what he’s saying, as if he’s having a conversation with himself...it’s really hard to follow

“And that killer curvy mouth” ew

“You seem to know a lot about me,” i said, making the understatement of the year.

“Say provoke again, your mouth looks provocative when you do”

Her jaw twitches when she lies

He has a birthmark in the same place she has a scar...soulmate shit fer shure

She says after her dad died a strange presence felt like it was “orbiting her world, watching her from a distance” like...a guardian angel perhaps

She feels someone in the house with her and i’m calling it now: patch is “Watching over” her

CHAPTER 3

She’s trying to come up with reasons for patch not to be her partner anymore...he fucking ADMITTED TO TAKING PHOTOS OF YOU AND STUDYING YOU AND BASICALLY STALKING YOU. IF THE COACH WON’T LISTEN GO TO THE PRINCIPAL ABOUT THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She’s anemic and has to take iron multiple times...a day??

“What qualities are you attracted to in a potential mate?” asks the teacher

She’s not ready so patch answers, “intelligent, attractive, vulnerable”

“How do you indicate if a female is interested?” and patch says, “if she’s biting her lip and playing with her hair the way nora is doing right now” lmao

“She’s game”

He puts his arm on the back of her chair and mouths “vulnerable” and while i would literally call the cops on a man for this, it was kind of hot in context

She tells coach she feels uncomfortable sitting by patch and he’s like, “not only are you gonna keep sitting by him i actually need you to tutor him.”

Fire this fucking guy IMMEDIATELY.

How lazy is this writing becca. How lazy. You couldn’t think of any other ways to make them spend more time together??

She and V go to the movies to write a review for the e-zine and v says: “can you imagine living your whole life without a clue that the only reason you’re being kept alive is to be used as a sacrifice?”

Do you smell that? The foreshadowing

V says patch’s dark side calls to her and nora is thinking, yeah no shit.

There was a dark magnetism, i felt lured to the edge of danger, at any moment it felt like he could push me over the edge.

Edge twice in the same sentence, crave’s editor has been in the game since 2009 apparently

V’s basically like nora you’re not attracted to anyone and nora’s like i haven’t found love and v’s like it’s about fun not love dumbdum

V says Patch would probably be “really good”

Nora says patch isn’t good for v and v says, “Careful, you’ll only make me want him more” and i’m like...i know this book came out when i was a freshman but somehow, becca fitzpatrick managed to put me from sophomore year in this book lmao

Marcy a cheerleader with “half a bottle of foundation on” and “¾ of an inch between her skirt and underwear, if she was wearing any” sits beside them

Yikes

She calls V supersize: YIKES

Marcy’s being a dick to V and V just goes, “you have food stuck in your teeth, chocolate ex-lax maybe?” i love this so much

Patch is at the library…

V’s like “i’m trying to read the title he’s checking out...how to be a stalker?” lmao i love V

V thinks patch is following nora but she’s kind of into it lmaoooo

Nora’s like he’s alluring but also fucking scary

She hits someone during a storm on the way home

He’s wearing a ski mask?!??!?!?!?

The car died oh my gooooooood

He’s tearing the door off??!?!?!!?

He punches through the window!!!!!!!!!

CHAPTER 4

She’s like totally freaking out but doesn’t wanna tell V that a dude almost tore the door off the car

She goes to V’s to avoid being alone

When she and v examine the damage...there is none…

She realizes the eyes behind the ski mask were black like patch’s eyes

She can’t remember hardly anything about the crash which is freaking her out

They meet some dudes called elliot and jules who is SIX FOOT TEN

They are probably other fallen angels that are after nora, and then elliott says he just transferred to their school from the prep school as of today, so yeah, this is what’s happening

Also...it’s fucking april. Who transfers schools in april

“You smell good” “it’s called a shower” lol

They’re having like an “are you following me” talk during the quiz

“I wanted my life to go back to the way it was before patch barged into my life”

I truly don’t know if it’s the delivery of the audiobook narrators that is making this issue SO GLARING to me but jfc

She confronts him after class to talk patch into asking to switch seats but he’s like “nah you’ve grown on me”

V really wants to sleuth around and read Patch’s file

CHAPTER 5

they go to the nurse’s office using nora’s iron pills as a distraction to get into the files in the front office

Nora needs to register her iron pills with the nurse...it is april...she has been taking pills out of her backpack all year...no one cared???

She says this is all because she thinks patch is stalking her - which no shit he admitted to taking pictures of you…

V called in a bomb threat from the pay phone outside!!!!!!! I’m fucking crying

Also if you guys don’t know what pay phones are, let me know

She’s trying to punch through the window in the door!!!!! V is the fucking greatest

IT WAS UNLOCKED ANYWAAAAAAY I’M SCREAMING

“As patch’s biology partner, i had a right to know”

The principal caught her but doesn’t suspect her

She meets back up with v at a mexican restaurant

The one patch works at!!!!!!

He asks her what she’s doing sunday night

“You’re getting cocky. I like that, angel” - bleck

“Not on a date, not alone” a hot thrill upon speculating what a night alone with patch would entail

Bitch!!!!!!! You just committed a crime to find out if this dude is STALKING YOU but you still wanna fuck him???????????

“Did you just call me angel? I don’t like it.” “it stays, angel” negging asshole

He brushes his thumb on her mouth and says “you’d look better without lipgloss” HARDIN SCOTT HAS ENTERED THE CHAT

“Interested? We’re talking about you, i’m fascinated.”

“You aren’t ready to know me”

I looked in your student file - BITCH. NORA. IF HE IS STALKING YOU. AND YOU FOUND OUT SOMETHING SERIOUS IN HIS FILE. THAT GIVES HIM SOOOOOO MUCH CAUSE TO LIKE...MURDER YOU?!

It’s totally empty. “I’m going to expose you” “i look forward to it”

“Why are you looking at me?” “because you’re nothing like what i expected” “neither are you, you’re worse”

CHAPTER 6

Elliott is in her gym class

The fog seemed to clog my lungs...fog and clog...don’t like it

Marcy miller… “that’s because you haven’t met anyone better, like me.” marcy twisted her hair around her finger. “You’ll hear all about me soon.”

He calls her gray, her last name, which is a trope i thoroughly enjoy

We describe marcy’s smile as toxic twice in 2 paragraphs

Elliott comes up behind her to help her with her batting stance

“Let me show you, like this, you feel that? Relax” EXCUSE ME

She hears her name in her mind said in someone else’s voice, it’s patch

“Batting lessons, nice touch” elliott is TOTALLY a rival angel guy

“I told myself i imagined the words because the alternative was considering that patch held the power to channel thoughts into my mind. Which couldn’t be. It just couldn’t.” this type of stuff makes me roll my eyes.

“Not yet” she hears in her mind, and ends up slamming it out of the park

She gets smashed in the head with the glove and ball, ouch

Elliott blows on her scraped kneeeeeeeee

“Had he talked directly to my thoughts? Was there some inexplicable link between us that allowed it happen? Or was i losing my mind?” meh

Elliott “i’m not gonna chase after an unavailable girl”

He invites her on a date

CHAPTER 7

There’s a convo with the housekeeper about “reinventing the sexy side” and not changing yourself for a boy…

V calls and is like “let’s go to the party on the coast”

Driving moccasins?

Damn V is like “you look like a boy, put some lipstick on”

And Nora isn’t wearing makeup because patch planted the idea in her mind - NEGGING!!!!!!!

The delphic coast sounds like a blast

The new ride is called the arcangel lmao

Patch is at the arcade omg

Jules looks as enthusiastic as three day old meatloaf - this is a very weird metaphor but i don’t mind it much?? It would have bothered me in crave but there haven’t been many in this book so far so it’s not like completely pulling me out of the moment

It’s a new day, and today, the name patch is really irking me. It sounds like a dog

V is STIRRING THE POT between Elliott and Patch god i love her soooo much

Elliott wants to talk to patch about leaving nora alone!!!!

V is a messy bitch who lives for dramaaaaaaaa

Nora goes to talk to patch so elliott won’t start shit

“He was tall and lean and hard and i was sure he had street fight scars under his clothes...not that i wanted to look under his clothes” LMAO

She asks what he’s playing and he says, “baseball, wanna stand behind me and give me a few pointers?” LMAOOOOO he hates elliott so muuuuch

Patch challenges her to a pool game, she punches his arm, he says “Careful they might think we’re flirting” this guy is MADDENING

“Part of me wanted to run away from him screaming fire, the other wanted to see how close i could get without...combusting” AHHHHHHH

He’s talking to her in her thoughts and then being like, “you know that sounds crazy don’t you?” GASLIGHT CENTRAL

“You scare me, and you’re not good for me” “i could change your mind”

“Meet me at the arcangel, i’ll be waiting”

CHAPTER 8

Nora goes to get cotton candy and sees the arcangel, and she goes

She gets the “cold heart-stopping feeling that someone is watching her” and spots a hooded figure

She runs into patch and he’s like “if you keep running away from me, you’re never gonna figure out what’s going on” and she’s been drinking dumb bitch juice so she’s like OHKAY.

Now she’s not scared of the arcangel because patch makes her feel safe...no he DOESN’T?!?!?!?!?

“If you ride without screaming, i’ll get coach to switch our seats” why do i feel like this is gonna be that scene in the movie fear where they hook up at the top of the ferris wheel

“I don’t scream, not for carnival rides.” not for you is her inner voice i assume and ommggggg

He sits in a car that shows demons ripping the wings off an angel, an angel sitting on a gravestone and watching children, then possessing a little girl

Okay foreshadowing

“Scared, angel?”

Our car flew demonically fast - we get it

Her seatbelt came undone and she fell out!!!!!!!

Oh wait...she didn’t? She ended up grabbing him and screaming??

CHAPTER 9

He offers her a drink from his soda can and she’s like “ooh my mouth where his mouth is”

Her phone is dead so she hitches a ride with patch...did he kill her phone with angel powers somehow??

V had left her!!!!?????

Ooh or did the boys kidnap her??

So she’s sure the mind-talking is real but not sure if the guy in the mask or the falling off the coaster is real…

Patch rides a motorcycle because ofc

He takes her home and then has her keys in his hand somehow

He is totally fucking with her, the key won’t turn if she uses it but he can get it to work

“Go ahead, i’m home alone” immediately i realized it wasn’t a smart thing to say

Self preservation has left the chat!!!!!!!! The same boy you thought was stalking you 3 days ago, you just told him you are home alone...dumb bitch juice

“Dorothea will be here soon. She’s old but strong, very strong” You would absolutely be the first to die in a horror movie, nora

He comes inside without her inviting him so he can make her tacos

He...knows where her kitchen is...fuck no

She is scared of him having a knife but also...goes over to him so he can show her how to make tacos…

So idk if most teens are so horny they’re literally willing to die for it, because i was on antidepressants when i was grace’s age and i had no desire to get busy...please let me know in the comments below if you ever went from scared of a dude to wanting to bone him at breakneck speed the way nora continually does in this book

“I’ll answer your questions if you make tacos”

This is a VERY horny scene where he stands right behind her and like whispers in her ear how to cut the tomato…

“Did you follow me to the library?” he smiles and she’s like OH FUCK I WANNA KISS HIM RIGHT NOW

NORA!!!!!!!!! FOCUS

“Scared?” “no” “maybe i’m just scared of -” “liking me?” “yes...wait no”

“I feel a scary attraction to you”

He lifted her onto the counter!!!!!

“You should go” “go here?” his mouth went to my shoulder “or here?” it moved up my neck AHHHHHHHHHHH

Her mom calls and she’s like “can i call you back?” her mom says “sure what’s wrong” and she HANGS UP LMAOOOOOOO

UMMMM THOUGHT HER PHONE WAS DEAD?!?!?!?

CHAPTER 10

V calls her and is like “i was looking for you all night” and nora is like “ummmm no you fucking left me???” and v’s like “DID Y’ALL KISS?!”

“I’ll pick you up at 4” “thought we were meeting at 5?” “circumstances have changed” lmao V for president tbh

We get a weird story about lionel dorothea’s godson daring nora to lick a broken piece of glass, “falling for patch would be like licking that shard”

This is the WEIRDEST analogy i think i have ever heard…

This is a first draft analogy for sure

She acknowledged that her phone had been dead so wtf happened

They go to victoria’s secret and she’s like “ooh sexy stuff ooh patch” wait i shouldn’t be thinking about dangerous patch

“I secretly enjoyed the attraction between us but the eeriness outweighed it” ma’am are you trying to lie to yourself or the reader because 1. It’s not a secret, 2. We (i) keep SCREAMING at you to have a shred of self-preservation but you threw it away for tacos

I’m going to flush patch out of my system like a detox diet, except last time i did that i binged” welp...i’m sure that’s not a sign…

Lmao V tries to take the clearance stickers off the clearance bras and puts them on the nice ones I LOVE HER SO MUCH

The hooded guy is watching her from outside…

But he’s gone before V sees him

V develops a diversion to get the hooded guy to follow her...but they can tell it’s actually a girl…

V gets hurt?!?!?!?!

CHAPTER 11

V is in the hospital with a BROKEN ARM THAT NEEDS SURGERY!!!!!

Patch is absent…

She goes to the new school psych...WHY ARE THERE SO MANY NEW PEOPLE COMING IN APRIL!!!!

She’s def also an angel

She brings up that nora is supposed to be tutoring patch and is like “all tutoring should be under adult supervision, and i don’t want you meeting alone” um...thank you for being reasonable because this dude is creepy but ALSO. Just...don’t have her tutor him…?

She goes to the computer lab in the library to look up reviews but then she’s like “i should google patch” but nothing

“No facebook, no myspace” OH MYSPACE!!!!!

She comes across a kinghorn prep article about a hanging, and finds out elliott was with the victim on the night of her death

Elliott is right behind her!!!!!

“Something cold flushed through me, like a blush, only opposite”

He’s like “Call your mom and tell her you’re taking too long at homework” and she’s like STRANGER DANGER

~~~

[listen-to-miracles-again]

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store. I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore... I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut. I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one". I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST! I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll. I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT. I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13 I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy. I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7 I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals. I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up. I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty. I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self-control. I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister. I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border. I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat. I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot. I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis. I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay. I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich. I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino. I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo. I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy. I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too. I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch. My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch. I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs. I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser. I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE… So I MUST be a whore myself. I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual. I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak. I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted. I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled. I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. I’m QUIET if I don’t know you so I MUST be emo or anti-social. I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend. I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare. I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth. I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid. I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER! I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future. I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue. I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex. I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian. I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see. I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED. I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST. I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick. I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY. I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE. I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean. I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid. I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the time I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting. I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak. I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life. I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too. I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp. I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around. I CURSE A LOT so I MUST be a bad kid and have problems I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!! I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parentshe loves another male. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it Sorry for the long post. I just think this is important. I got this from Ivory’Lee Lambskank on m.fanfiction.net

[dxlansfxck]

EVERY WOUND WILL SHAPE ME [G.D] • 03

They really had some kind of fun this day – even Y/N was laughing one of the most real laughs in the last couple months. But now, she was laying in her bed, thinking about everything that ruined their day. Thinking about what Grayson was doing wrong, again.

I am the ghost in the shadows, I am the fear of the dark, I am the murderer of apathy – an angel that’s fallen.

Her head was buried between her pillows, her body rolled up in her soft blanket, trying to get the comfort she truly needed right now. Once her body was hidden, she didn’t have to think about the issues she has with how she looked in her swimsuit, how much flatter her stomach could’ve been if she didn’t eat the breakfast Grayson brought her. But well, he didn’t need to worry about what he was eating, his body was close to being perfect.

But Grayson – of course – didn’t mind her weight as he quickly carried her on his shoulders, walking around with her and throwing her into the warm saltwater. Little did he know that drowning was one of her biggest fears ever since her parents died. Even if it was just a simple pool instead of the gigantic ocean, she didn’t like being under water, squirming and fidgeting under the surface, trying to get up again.

Grayson loosened his grip on her head, letting her breathe again, but while she was literally gasping for air, all he did was checking out some girl that was walking past them with such a perfectly shaped body and huge tits that made Y/N cover her own with her hands.

Well, Y/N wasn’t feeling to be left out once again, so she quickly decided to get over into another pool area, enjoying the even warmer water on her own while watching Grayson talk to this fucking idiot that was about to steal her best friend.              

I am the psycho, the sinner. I am what you can’t escape. I am the splinter underneath your skin, I am a monster.

With a bang, I feel my heart start to separate, the enemy within can no longer be contained.

Even an hour later, Y/N was already laying on one of the deck chairs, trying to dry off a bit, Grayson was still talking to that slut, obviously enjoying her company. It may be just an hour, but to her it felt like 800 years of pain and suffering. Of being left out. He came with her, he begged her to come here, so why is he spending his time with someone different? The smile he was giving this woman was a smile that she didn’t see that much, it was his happy smile. The one that only showed once he was really comfortable around someone, showing off his perfectly white teeth while a soft giggle was escaping his lips.

She had to turn her head, looking away, before she started to cry again. It pissed her off that she couldn’t leave, because Grayson was the one that decided to drive today. Looking around while huffing in annoyance, she saw someone that caught her eyes in seconds. He was tall, a giant, with soft blonde curls hitting his shoulders and a slight scruff covering his face. His shoulders and chest were broad, but he wasn’t as built as Grayson was – but Y/N didn’t care. Hell, he was fucking attractive.

She smiled at him, winking while biting her lip to hide a giggle that desperately wants to escape her mouth, almost feeling like a schoolgirl having her first crush. The unknown man laughs while walking towards her, receiving an winning smirk from Y/N, before he sits down next to her, asking for her name before introducing himself: Luke, 22 years old, musician in a pop-rock band. And definitely Y/N’s type of man.

I’m running from myself, there’s something inside of me and it’s ripping a hole through my chest.

They were talking for almost as long as her ‘best friend’ talked to this annoying girl, but by now she didn’t even care anymore. Starting to really like Luke and his dry humor, they talked about lots of things, mostly about him and his band. Luke was a born and raised Aussie, touring with his band through the entire world. He was currently living in Los Angeles while they were recording their second studio album and he probably will be there for another few months.

Instead of going for another swim together, Y/N offered him to come home with her, not needing Grayson to drive her anymore. He could spend the entire day with that girl, Y/N didn’t want him to be around her anyways – and once she saw Luke in his boots and leather jacket, she was damn sure what she wanted for that day instead.

The blood in my veins is made up of mistakes.

Well, now she was laying here, in her bed, that she shared with Luke not so long ago. She was still naked, but he was dressed and gone by now. Her body was aching, tired, but also satisfied. Smiling, she tries to burn the pictures of the last few hours into her brain.

His phone number in her phone, that she would either call very often or never again.

His body against hers, his hands everywhere at the same time.

His mouth, covering every place she wanted it to cover.

His lips, slightly parted, while they were repeating her name over and over again.

His eyes closed as she climbed on top of him, taking all of his length as she slid down onto him.

His fingernails buried in her back while she was riding out their highs.

Thinking about him, the one that betrayed her insecure self so much today.

His face as he entered her room and saw them laying in her bed, her bodies connected.

Her smirk as she slid down onto Luke again, pinching her own nipples as she looked him dead in the eyes and moaning his name, instead of the man’s that was currently laying underneath her. “Gray.”

I spit the fire from my lungs, the creature I buried is now the beast that I’ve become.

We pretend that we can be somebody else, but heaven’s judgments nothing when you’re already in hell.

Hours later, her tired feet were dragging her through the empty streets of Los Angeles. One cigarette after another finds its way out of the package, while Y/N’s lungs must’ve filled with pure smoke by now. But she just couldn’t stop, she didn’t get enough. Music was filling her ears, while the beat was keeping her heart alive.

The empty pack of cigarettes lands in the trash. Rain was running down her face, making strands of her hair stick together. Her phone was currently vibrating, but she ignored it, concentrating on anything but the two man that wanted to talk to her.

Grayson. Luke. Grayson. Luke. Gray… Luke.

We are possessed. We are all fucked in the head.

Once she finally arrived at her desired destination, a relieved sigh left her lips. It was a nightclub, nothing luxurious, probably something... shabby. But it was the only place that had what she wanted right now. Pills. Powders. Liquids. Everything that was necessary to forget what happened.

Those women and men that were dancing were dressed different than you’d see in usual clubs, most of them covered in latex – others were almost naked. But she was looking for someone special, the only person that could fulfill her current needs. Jairus. The one with the best… medicine. He was the one Y/N lost her virginity to when she just turned 16. Shortly after that, she started to buy her stuff from him. Ever since, she sleeps with him.

Once she bought – and took – what she needed, her body already reacting to the substance, she sat on top of Jairus’ desk, her feet dangling from it without touching the ground. “You’re always coming back, aren’t you?” Jairus’ fingertips were drawing lines onto her covered legs while Y/N was trying to process her current high. His lips started to move against her neck, while she crawled onto his lap, her fingers buried into his hair. Soon enough, their lips met. Teeth were nibbling on her nipples. Fingernails were scratching over his skin, leaving permanent marks. He opened his pants with one hand while holding down her neck with the other one, pressing her cheek against the wooden fabric of his desk. He’s the one in charge, both of them know them. Hell, it’s always like that. The drugs she always takes before sleeping with him – before she has to sleep with him – leaving her not caring at all, leaving her numb. But that’s what the needed to forget about Grayson.

Love is a hell, you are the devil and I am burning in the flames.

And suddenly, all the love songs were about you.

Still dazed by her intoxication, she arrives at the house, walking straight into the bathroom while already removing her clothes, ready for a shower to scrub off anything that happened with Jairus. Humming along to some random melody in her head, she didn’t hear that the shower was already running. Not hearing that someone was already inside, but as soon as she opens the bathroom door, a naked Grayson was revealed under the shower. Gasping, she couldn’t help but stare at him, enjoying every single muscle on his stomach before her gaze wanders further down – only to see the thermal bath-hoe kneeling in front of her best friend, lips wrapped around his erect cock. She could’ve enjoyed the view, for sure, if it wasn’t for this bitch to be on her knees. His groans causing goosebumps on Y/N’s skin, but most likely out of disgust. She was the one that was supposed to make Grayson feel those feelings, but now it was someone else. Again.

Closing the door silently, she walks straight towards to the other bathroom, stripping out of her remaining clothes before going directly under the way too hot waterjet. She rubs and scrubs her body as clean as it could get, while her skin gets redder with every second in this heat. Once she steps out of the shower, she instantly shudders at the temperature difference. Starring into the mirror, she grabs the blade out of instinct, holding it against the skin right under her left breast. Remembering the scenario, she presses the blade against her skin. Directly against her heartbeat.

Can you fix the broken? Can you feel my heart?

She wasn’t ready to leave. Not yet. She doesn’t want to leave. Instead, she slits line over line in her left thigh, silent tears running out of her eyes without mercy. Then, the blade falls onto the ground in silent and Y/N collapses, each and every feeling of being high leaving her body. The tears weren’t stopping, fleeing out of her messy head while she just screams out her frustration until her throat was sore and nothing but sobs were coming out of her lips. Her fists were punching the ground rapidly until her knuckles burst. Grabbing her hair, scratching her face, but nothing stops Grayson’s moans.

Sudden rage, sudden strength was running through her veins, the adrenalin pumping through her body while she successfully covers her scars and gets dressed, leaving her with almost no pain at all. Instead, she smirks. Opening his bedroom door, she forces some tears out of her – now almost empty – eyes, while a pout forms on her lips. Ignoring the fact that he isn’t alone, she steps into the room like she always would after a nightmare.

“Gray, can I sleep in your bed? I just dreamed a fuckin- Oh. I didn’t know you had someone over. Sorry.”

Stepping back into her own room, she grins, knowing that Grayson would feel bad for her, kicking this girl out and coming to comfort her. He always does. And he always will.

You smiled at the stars like they all knew your secrets.

Now they are laying here. In Y/N’s bed. Grayson and Y/N. She’s telling him about her ‘nightmare’ while Grayson listens quietly, wrapping his arms around her stomach to calm her down.

“It was so weird, Gray. I was there, but somehow, I wasn’t. I saw how I… drowned. But you were standing right next to me, not helping me at all because you were talking to some girl”, she bows her head, knowing his conscience gets worse by second. But as soon as he was about to say something, she continues to speak. “You were holding me under water, not realizing I was drowning. Once I was dead… You just went on and walked over to that girl. You didn’t care about me at all.” By now, she got angry again, talking herself into rage. “You didn’t give a single fuck about me. Well, then I woke up and wanted to take a shower in my bathroom, but what did I see? This fucking girl from my fucking dream sucking your fucking cock.”

His otherwise perfectly shaped lips open, but instead of speaking up, he closes them again. “I know, I know, I couldn’t care less about who you’re fucking, but in my bathroom? In my shower?” Now the side effects of the amphetamines were talking out of her. Anger. Fury. Hate. “You’ve got a bed to fuck your whores, Grayson. Don’t you?” His eyes widen in shock while he balls his hands to tight fists, now getting angry himself.

“Well, at least I don’t moan someone else’s name while riding some random guy, Y/N. I don’t moan your name. You’re nothing better than me, Bubbles.” This time, the nickname didn’t sound loving at all. It was full of scorn. “I don’t care about your sexuality and you know that. But what was that? Besides that, I found a towel, covered in blood in the laundry. And I bet it didn’t come from your ‘shaving accident’, huh? Care to explain?“

The air was thin, ready to be ripped from all the anger in it, but it wouldn’t be Y/N if she hadn’t had an answer for that.

“Oh, Grayson, little do you know, mh? I am cutting myself. I take drugs, different drugs every night. I drink too much alcohol. Whenever I fuck guys, I think about you. Think about your big cock deep inside my pussy while moaning out your name. Whenever I fuck girls, I imagine it’s you eating me out. Whenever I cut my legs open, I think about you. Even when I’m high, I think about you, Grayson. I don’t know why and I wish it wasn’t like that, because it fucking sucks, okay? But I can’t change it. I even dream of you, god damned! And when I wake up, I need to finger myself until I can’t come anymore, just because of you.”

You’re afraid to tell people how you feel because it will destroy them, so you bury it deep inside yourself where it destroys you.

Grayson was watching the girl in front of him the entire time, hesitating to say anything. Grabbing his own hair, he swallows loudly. “You’re dreaming of me? What exactly are you dreaming, Bubbles?” He doesn’t run, he doesn’t leave her side. He just watched her in anticipation. She coughs, trying to calm her voice down at least a little bit.

“We’re laying here in this bed, you’re touching me right there”, she gently places her hand onto his thigh, “while your lips move from my mouth to my neck”, her fingertips trace exact those spots, leaving him shiver under her touch. “Then, you’re removing my shirt, slowly. You’re always looking at me with that passion, that drives me crazy. Then, you’re kissing me again”, she touches his lips, so soft and featherlike, he almost didn’t feel her fingers. His breath hitches, not being able to look away from what he thought was his best friend. Until now.

“Your hands roam my body, exploring every inch, from my breasts to my legs”, his eyes wander to the baggy shirt she wore, while she keeps on talking. “You’re telling me how much you want me; how much you love me. Then I’m crawling onto your lap, removing your shirts and just stare at your abs for a while”, she giggles, “I’d be finally able to touch you wherever I want.” She draws a line from his jawline to his bellybutton and he flexes his abs out of reflex. “Your eyes are dark from lust while you’re looking at me like nobody else ever did. You’re kissing my scars, telling me you don’t mind them.” She pulls the covers to the side, exposing her legs to him.

He stops breathing, not being able to speak up. But Y/N didn’t care. Instead, she keeps on talking. “Then you’re giving me one of the best fucks I’ve ever had, we’re laying in each other’s arms while enjoying every second of it”, she shrugs it off as if it was just a dream. But the bulge in Grayson’s pants were speaking for him. “But it was just a dream, so don’t worry, I won’t jump onto your dick or something like that.”

Standing up, she lets the over sized shirt fall down to her thighs, covering her black lace underwear while she grabs the cigarettes from her nightstand before walking towards the opened window. He just sits there and stares at the girl he thought he knew. But she was so different to what she used to be like. He remained quiet the entire time until she came back onto the bed, looking at him all innocent. “Would you mind leaving now? I’d like to sleep.”

Grayson stands up nodding, walking to the door awkwardly and tries to hide his erection – without success. Once he was out of the door, he looks over his shoulder, starring at Y/N. Then, he shakes his head and basically runs towards his best friends, kissing her without restraint.

You don’t need water to feel like you’re drowning.

[lustingtc]

13th January 2020

WE AINT GOT NOW TIME FOR INTROS BITCH 😳😳😳

T spent all of break in M’s class🤭🤭😳🏳️‍🌈😜

N our gang was...

Out side of M’s class 😳😳😰😰😰

So T might of heard me go

“A!! Gimme uppies!!!”

T like 🤢🤢🤢 “K?? DDLG??? I’m OUT!”

(I’m not a ddlg bitch, we goof abt it lol)

[ Bell goes ]

>Virgin cuck K enters Chad T’s class

> he begins to talk to the 3 kids here (I’m 1)

HE KEEPS LOOKING AT ME😳😳😳

MANS THEN AAAAA 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

SIDE EYES N MFING SMIRKS @ ME 😵😵���😵

This right here your honour. This is where I FUCKING DIED INSIDE 💝💞💓💗💖💘💕

WHO DOES HE THINK HE FUCKING IS????

All goes down hill luv x

He asks me a question when the lesson has actually started and I just😔😔😔😔

😶 “I- um, I,,,, uh... idunnoknow”

My dumb ass mother fuckin stoopid ass bitch ass mother fucking dumb ass hoe of a brain

It was so easy but I just couldn’t explain😭😭

We had our break 😴😴

N S is straight on her phone lmaoo,,, 😳😳

T FUCKING SEE n is like

“Hope you’re doing your homework S!” 😃

Mans do be saving lives since 2016 😌😌💘

BUT HE COMES OVER 😵😵

Spinning along in his spinny chair 🥴🥴🥴🥴

But 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

His spots? MULTIPLIED LUV X

Would of cried right then tbh. Didn’t tho.

He just was talking abt how doingbur hw is important n shit. Stfu boomer T

Anywho

We played a game 🥳🥳🤪🤪😝✌🏻🤙🏻 hahA!!!

N as he was explaining it we just

👁👃🏻👁

But my ass just LOOKED AWAY CUZ WE PUSSY ASF APPARENTLY

😎😎not to flex but...

We where one of the only teams with a special name 🤪🤪🤪🤙🏻

It’s a mix of me n S’s name 😌😌😌 mostly my name doe 😏😏💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻

ONG just realised what if he ships us🤮🤮🤮 I’m out.

@ the end of lesson 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️

Me & S changed the scores so we won👸👸👯‍♀️

We where like “YEAH. WE WON GUYS!” N T turned around n laughed 😳😳😳😳

Dk how he didn’t ask me to stay behind and raw me 🙄🙄🙄🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ to each their own i guess

[thecreativeangel]

aut neca aut necare: VI

Peter Parker x Fem!Reader

*Please don’t plagiarize my work, thank you :3*

Summary: You try once more to apologize to Peter (not successfully) and Spiderman thinks it’s a good idea to bring up your family. 

Warnings: A hoe needs D E P R E S S O

Words: 3.1k wow i need a life

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“Hi Peter. Sorry I got in a completely meaningless fight with you and brought up the death of your parents. We're cool, right?”

Yeah, that wasn't going to pass. You stared with half bleary eyes at the phone in your hand, a paragraph long text message highlighted in blue, about to be deleted. This was the fifth…sixth? Sixth attempt at an astounding apology that would make Peter so emotional he’d forgive you in an instant. So far, everything you wrote turned out to be shit. Every text was too long, too pathetic and clingy. And it became apparent to you that as of recently, your texts to Peter had to be perfect. Even before the fight you’d been double checking the spelling, triple checking to make sure there weren’t too many emojis.

Is adding a period too formal? Too strict? And yes, you knew very well why you were acting like this but refused to say it out loud.

After huffing through your nose, you pressed delete and half an hour’s worth of typing was gone. The sound of heavy boats cutting through water was really helping right then, to calm nerves and such. You closed your eyes and dangled your feet over the side of the warehouse. The tracker you'd put on one of Kim’s “henchmen” (could a high school student really have henchmen?) had been still for two hours now, and the video you could get on your phone was of the spider-tracker crawling up and down a man’s pant leg. The doors were locked. The live feed was silent, save for the man pacing; he was alone.

A boat horn rang through the night air, startling a cat that was sleeping on the fence down below. That reminds me, you thought. Haven't gone to Delmar’s in a while. Your phone screen’s light illuminated your face, the blank text box ever present. Okay, go simple. Don't be a dumbass. Straight to the point. I've got this. Your fingers moved nimbly by themselves, typing out the shortest thing you could think of.

“‘I'm sorry’ isn't enough right now, I know. See you at school.”

You hit send and watched the text until “delivered” appeared in small blue letters right below. Was that too up front? Probably. Was he going to forgive you because of one text, no matter how long? No. Never. You looked up at the stars and sighed, feeling a cold gust of wind flow past your cheeks. With the mask off, details about your surroundings were more clear. Everything was in high definition, but that made it hard to focus. Spidey was right; your senses were dialed up to 11, too much input and not enough capacity for storage.

Looking back down at your phone, you saw that “delivered” had changed to “read”.

Peter already saw what you wrote. He didn't bother to reply.

You made a high pitched scream at the back of your throat, frustration and shame warming your cold cheeks. I’m an idiot! Of course he still hates me- I brought up his fucking dead parents! I was the first person he opened up to after they died, and now I’ve gone and fucked up. You kicked your legs over the side of the warehouse and laid spread angled on the tin roof. This was the warehouse you’d been visiting for a few days now. Almost a week. It was only half a mile from where you saw the tall grey alien talk to Kimberly and her bosses. Sure, you should be more careful than texting while hunting down dangerous criminals, but after a few days of spending nightly hours on the roof, it had grown boring. Tame. The giant garage door was locked and from a tiny crack in the wall you only saw a giant, empty warehouse.

You were close to giving up when a car pulled into the alley on your side of the roof. A boy stepped out, loudly smacking on gum and locking the car equally loudly. Still laying down, you peeked over the side of the roof. He, a younger kid, by the sound of it, was with a girl. She talked quickly, nervously. A lazy grin slid across your face; Kimberly was never good at whispering.

“Spit that shit out before I make you,” she finally snapped. You heard a “whooey” sound and a wet splat, meaning he did as told.

“It calms me down,” he explained serenely, as if appeasing a toddler. “Maybe you should try it, since you’re so worked up. Maybe you’ll stop annoying dad all the time.”

The garage doors slid up, rumbling so badly you felt the tremors in your entire body. Their voices faded and before they did, you heard Kimberly retort: “Dad likes me better anyway.” So that’s Kim’s brother? The three menacing, scary hooded figures that talked to the grey alien were a...family? SERIOUSLY?

“Hey,” a voice hissed, poking your shoulder. On reflex, you blindly grabbed (an...arm?) and threw them away, fully prepared to then launch yourself at the target because if they wanted to fight then-

“Ow, what the fuck!” Spidey gasped, holding his bruised bicep.

“Shit- don’t sneak up on me like that!” you cried.

“Why-” he seemed to wince, rubbing the sore spot. “D’you always try an’ kill people when they do that?!”

“Well I was kind of in the middle of something!” you argued, glancing nervously over the ledge at the half dozen parked vans. “Friggin’ intense bad guy shit was happening and you just sneak up on me outta nowhere…”

“What’s intense is your grip,” Spidey murmured, rolling his shoulder. “Is that ‘cause of your powers or are you a gym rat?”

“Okay Mr. ‘I Can Stop A Moving Train’,” you said, putting a hand on your hip. "Not everyone knows how to control their strength.”

He snickered and plopped down on the ledge of the warehouse. “No seriously. Powers or its always been like that?”

“Uh…” you sat down next to him. “Powers I think. Dunno, I’ve always been able to slap a bitch who needs it.”

Spidey pouted under his mask. “Aww, am I your bitch?”

You had to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from cackling. “Say that again, but slowly.”

“Am I y- oh,” he laughed awkwardly. “Whoops. Welp, guess this partnership is terminated. Nice knowing you, I’m going to go kill myself now.”

The boisterous laugh finally escaped your lips, all thoughts of Peter leaving your conscious. Spiderman made a gun with his hand, held it to the side of his head and jerked his thumb back as if pulling a trigger. “Now that my sidekick knows I’m an idiot, might as well drop being Spiderman, right?”

“Sidekick?” you managed to scoff between giggles. “Please. I’m the dominant one in this relationship.”

“Kinky.”

The tips of your ears suddenly felt hot. “S-shut up!”

Spidey laughed when you shoved his shoulder, rolling your eyes under your mask. “That’s not what I meant, dammit! I’m like the biggest virgin you’ll ever- Stop laughing!”

He kept doing so but somehow, you felt lighter than you’d been a few minutes ago. Free. Like a kid. Which was odd, because this was a nightly patrol and Kim was right below- “We need to get down there.”

The lighthearted aura was sucked from the air. “Huh?”

“I’m supposed to be down there! I was going to sneak in and- and now we’re talking about bullshit when we could be doing something!”

“Oh-kay crazy,” he dismissed you with a wave of his hand. “I called the police, they’ll be here in less than an hour. All we have to do is make sure they don’t leave the premises.”

You frowned inside your mask, thankful that it didn’t change to show facial expressions like his did. How could this superhero, especially one who was known to deviate from law enforcement, sit here and wait for people to do work for him? People who were defenseless unless they were armed with a weapon, no less. You impatiently tapped a gloved hand on your thigh, ears perking up to the muffled arguing that traveled up a nearby air vent.

“Go patrol the city,” Spidey suggested, tapping commands into the sensors on his wrist. “Better that than sitting here and doing nothing. I’ll call you if I need backu-”

“No way,” you said sternly. “I’m gonna kick their asses myself if they try to escape. Not leaving.”

“Don’t- you shouldn’t hurt them, they’re just doing their job,” he said finally, after at least five minutes of thick silence.

“They’re dangerous-”

“So are you,” he fired back. You drew away, fingers tightening around the ledge in surprise. He must have noticed the outburst was uncalled for because he released a shaky sigh. “So am I. We’re dangerous, you know that- right? Only difference between us and them is that we aren’t desperate enough to go into that line of work.”

You bristled at that. “That’s a damn big difference.”

“Not a hard line to cross, though,” Spidey noted, ceasing his tapping of instructions. “People do shit when they’re desperate. For money, for safety, for family…” he looked away from the skyline horizon and turned to you. “I’d do a lot for my family, more than I’d ever tell you about.”

“Well,” you said frankly. “That hurts a bit. Thanks, man.”

“You’ve been getting more...reckless,” he said, “The whole fiasco with the United Nations-”

“I told you that wasn’t me!”

Peter said the same thing, about the United Nations. About the little epic failure you achieved in one night. He was wrong, though; you were framed, it was synthetic smoke. Who was trying to make you Public Enemy #1? You didn’t know and it was killing you. Maybe I should tell Peter about this superhero gig. He could help me deal with it, I guess, you considered the notion. That’d be a huge chip off my shoulder. Too bad I was a complete dumbass and ruined the friendship with one stupid fucking offhand comment-

“Okay, say it wasn’t,” Spidey said patiently, drawing you out of the stream of furious thoughts. “But you stole from that jewelry store a while back.”

“I stopped a potential robbery!” you said defiantly. “He was an idiot for trying to steal at Fifth Avenue- who the hell does that? A-and I only took one little diamond-”

“‘One little diamond’?!”

“Whaaat?” you whined, looking down at your dangling legs guiltily.

“What would your parents think?” Spidey asked, probably expecting you to open up more. Probably raising an eyebrow under his stupid mask. Good luck with that, bud.

“Okay, okay,” you immediately dropped the playful tone. “I get it, that was bad. Let’s move on please.”

“No, c’mon,” he pressed. “Everyone thinks about their family when they do bad shit.”

Your lips were pursed in a thin line and you felt your head tilt in a small nod. He would get no other answer right away, but he sure did try. “Do you...not have a family?”

No response. “Shit, I’m sorry. I assumed-”

“I have a family,” you forced out, and it sounded so disgusting to say that you prayed you’d never have to say it again. Spiderman did this thing where he leaned forward and turned his upper body towards you, cocking his head down and waiting for a continuation. You huffed.

“It’s a complicated situation, webhead,” you lifted one leg onto the roof and pulled your knee to your chest, letting the other one dangle. “S’not a big family anyway, so at least it’s not completely out of hand.”

“Dead relative?”

You shook your head. “Single mom.”

“Oh,” his hand patted your shoulder, a surprisingly welcomed gesture. “My best friend’s got a single mom. They’re not very close, though.”

“Good for them,” you said flatly.

Spiderman shifted awkwardly. “So maybe don’t...steal jewelry? For your mom’s sake?”

He looked at you for a reaction, even a tiny nod, and got none. “You really hate talking about her, don’t you?”

“It’s not- ugh, I dunno,” you hung your head lower. “If I talk about my mum for another second I’d probably start on a whole rant ‘bout how she utterly failed as a parent and, despite technically being there my entire childhood, is constantly ignoring her responsibilities-”

You opened your mouth to continue but choked on the words, realizing that the conversation was 90% you oversharing. “Anyway she’s an okay mum or whatever. Hasn’t done anything that bad. Very average.”

How else were you to phrase it to someone you met so recently? “Very average” was giving her way too much credit but it wasn’t abuse...anymore. In the past two years she’d gone from hitting you for being a disappointment to not caring at all. She didn’t yell every week, she didn’t slap you upside the head or box your ears. She tried to do Mother/Daughter nights but they always ended with her screaming about kicking you out while you wiped away tears. Frankly it wasn’t “caring” as much as it was random fits of rage but- it wasn’t physical anymore. You didn’t have hand shaped bruises anymore, nor split lips. You still had to be careful around your mum ‘cause hell, who knew if she was having a bad day. Who knew what she’d do if she had a bad day. But despite the bad days...she was still your mum. She always apologized after a week or so, told you she hadn’t meant it.

Spiderman was nodded slowly. “You’ve...got a lot to say about your mom.”

“Trust me, that barely covered my opinion of her,” you grumbled. “But what the hell, right? Not like I know you,” your hands felt clammy and hot from frustration.

“Don’t look,” you warned him briskly.

“What?”

“I need some air, don’t look at me.” Your fingers grasped the bottom of your mask and began to tug up. Chilly night air tingled pleasantly wherever it touched, almost making you sigh out loud.

Spidey’s neck must have snapped with how quickly he looked away. “Are you crazy?! Why are you taking the mask o-”

“Relax, I’m just lifting it a little,” you bunched the mask up on the bridge of your nose, inhaling deeply for the cold, dry New York air. It rattled in your lungs yet you took another calming breath, glancing at Spiderman.

He was covering his eyes.

“You don’t have to-” your quiet laugh got his attention. “Don’t cover your eyes, dude. Jus’ don’t look at my face.”

“Uh, yeah,” he hesitantly took the hand from his face. “Gotta be cautious thought.”

“S’ just my mouth, Spiderboy,” you grinned at his awkward nature. “What- can’t handle seeing a girl’s lips?”

“Yes I have!”

You giggled at his voice crack. “Pretty sure you’ve a bigger virgin than I am.”

“I am not!”

“Oh yeah?” you quirked an eyebrow, knowing he couldn’t see it. “I’m making my ‘I-don’t-believe-you’ face, by the way. Seriously starting to doubt that you’re my age ‘cause…you act like a twelve year old. No offense.”

“I’m sixteen!” he defended and honestly, seeing him angrily wave his arms around without facing you was hilarious. And the suit sounded like it was frantically trying to adjust the voice modifier to his high pitched rambling. “I swear I’m sixteen, it’s fucking puberty-”

You put a hand up to silence him, smiling maniacally before pulling your mask over your chin again. “I kid, I kid. Mask is back down.”

If this were a cartoon there would have been steam shooting from his ears. Not like, angry steam. Flustered steam. Or maybe both. Either way, it was funny.

“I hate you,” he groused. “And my voice had to crack! God, that’s worse than when we met!”

A fresh bout of laughter erupted from thinking of that memory alone. Your cackles, once again muffled by the shitty mask, had to be stifled by biting down on the inside of your cheek.

“Pfft, ha! Oh-” you gagged on the words. “Oh that was fucking amazing! D’you- d’you remember when the kid was running-”

“Please no.”

“And you tried to grab him-”

“No, no you said you wouldn’t bring that up!”

“And he threw the bag of quarters at your dick! Ha!”

Spiderman groaned in agony. “Take the mask off so I can deck you.”

“Come at me scrub, I’m- shit,” your metal wristlet beeped, flashing the word “Urgent” in neon blue block letters. “Ah, damn. There’s a robbery near my place, gotta check that out,” owners of a small Korean place near Delmar’s are being threatened at gunpoint. You’d been there with Peter and Ned few times, and that made thought you somber again. “That’ll be a few minutes to get to.”

“You’ve gotta stop bugging the cameras,” Spidey said disapprovingly.

“Well some of us don’t have fancy Super-Conducting 4.2 Tera whatever to help us,” you answered snidely, projecting a small image of the restaurant's security camera view. “Fuck, you’ve got patrol too. Who’s gonna guard this shit?”

“I can stay here,” Spidey offered quickly. He’s not asking to swing me there? That’s...weird. Last time I checked he was the biggest Mom Friend I’ve ever met.

You paused at the ledge of the warehouse, eyes moving from the him to Queens in the distance and back again. “Are you sure?”

“Go!” he urged, shooing you away. “I can handle one night without a partner. S’ your chance to prove that you’re not evil.” You scoffed, wheeled around and raised your middle finger, falling backwards off the ledge with your arms spread like wings. Your body dissolving into a column of smoke seconds before hitting the ground. Spiderman didn’t call for backup that night and the ordeal was stopped with a few “magic tricks” of yours. The robber was easy to take down as he was stupid high and though you disappeared before they could say anything, you saw the restaurant owners talking to a local reporter with relieved expressions. You doubted the old couple would say anything bad, but being tentative never hurt anyone. Hopefully Spidey’s call sent a few officers to the warehouse.

Funny thing was: you hadn’t seen any police cars heading to the warehouse as you flew Queens. Not a single one.

A/N: idk why i got carried away with this. like on one hand...character background. on the other...character background that will cause some depressing shit vv soon

Tags:  @everythingthatisrandom, @mcheung0314,@spiderdudeparker, @lou-la-lou, @4-a-m, @miss-glitch, @runs-with-sciss0rs, @lubrielx, @kaitlynthehuman, @b-lyn-k, @hotsocke, @therealwatermelon, @shipping-the-unsinkable-ship, @vivideley, @rosieredcheeks 

[hiimaprofessionalfangirl]

A list of wild quotes from my freshman year

It’s that time again kids

“WRONG”

“Why is it wrong?” “Because it’s wrong?”

“Never get in a rotten egg fight kids”

“THERES A FUCKING TREE BRANCH IN THE LIVING ROOM”

“Look how veiny my leaf is”

“Coffee is my dad”

“Ariel castrate and the Austrian dickhead”

“Sleep is just death without the commitment”

“Is this a vine?”

“I ate some ice cream and then threw up in an alley way”

“I bleached my hair on a bet”

“Do snakes jump”

“We’re gonna watch the magic school bus”

“She did not consent to that!”

“Is it weird that when I hurt I hurt”

*eats a donut I found under a desk*

“We’re struggling together”

“ooo it’s almost time to skedaddle”

“Grass is a superfood”

“THEY WERE LESBIAN LOVERS MIGUEL”

“Do moths have penises?”

“We only stan cardboard paper in this town.” “Aka school fries”

“Give me Hayley kiyoko or give me death”

“I’m a pretty cool error too”

“Time can eat me”

“I’m as straight as a dick”

“19 isn’t a real number”

“3 is evil”

“Weird flex but ok” (coming from our 22yr old student teacher who didn’t understand memes)

*faintly in a silent hallway* “PUSSY”

“God is actually an alien, change my mind”

“You promised me you’d throw me out the window”

“Passing period is rebirth”

“Science can meet me in the pit”

“She has 2008 eyebrows”

“What’re you gonna do, send dick pics through audio”

“bro omg nihilism radiates off of u its inspiring”

“I threw up twice, I just wanted to let you know”

“Tell me the secrets of the universe u little knock off kermit”

“so u have a frog in ur head and I have a demonic entity, that’s pretty fuckin wild dude”

“The bubble just suicide bombed two other bubbles”

“Stop hyperventilating into a glove”

“Can u calm down I’m trying to eat my cereal”

*opens the door* “no”

“My teacher drop kicked a mouse” (coming from my cousin who goes to a super elite private catholic school)

“A sweet loving hardass, but a hardass nonetheless.”

“Seductively bites yogurt”

“I don’t wanna work as an exorcist ew”

“I guess it wasn’t traffic”

“I don’t care about your job making fake eggs in the 70s”

“Chug 15 olive oils”

“You’re invalid as a human being”

“I just wanna astral project myself into the sun”

“Can I uninstall my teeth”

“I’m going to remove the roof of my mouth” *takes out retainer*

“I’m craving both death and Oreos right now”

“Can you strangle a fish”

“Honey your dick is holding you back”

“I want wall”

“I was proud of you until you finished your sentence”

“Aside from wanting to uninstall my teeth now I want to uninstall my legs”

“Welcome to the calculator game”

“Last hour I got an open container of applesauce thrown at me”

“He looks like a compacted adult”

“Hot food for TIM”

“Did my mom drug my lasagna”

“What just happened?” “My retainer fell out”

“Why are there beans in my chair”

“Shakespeare was a wild card”

“I want a full complement of death”

“Mr Rice you’re a skinny legend”

“Wack? I haven’t heard that since I was in middle school”

“Carrot got yoted”

“Devoreing”

*turns around* “ms Elliott looks like a turtle”

“Purchase one cancer”

“A plateau of a person”

“I’m gonna drink stem cells”

“Is I’m too depressed for this an excuse”

“Sparkling water is just cursive water”

“No one cares about your friends stupid leg nipple”

“If you put wings on your snake rat it a goose”

“My eyeballs have low render distance”

“Ah good, no new bloodstains”

“Bruce banner and all 7 of his PhDs are disappointed in me for not paying attention in biology”

“I think Shakespeare had a foot fetish”

“Instead of marrying Romeos corpse she could marry Paris’s corpse”

“I stole a ring pop from the teacher for you, if that isn’t true love I don’t know what is”

“If your feet come off you’re out”

“You’re thick and not in the good way”

“Is that your answer to everything? Use the knife”

“yeet yeet skittly skeet”

“my mike and Ike’s were definitely laced with acid”

“2 + 1 is 3 you’re stupid”

“We’re gonna 2v1 Shakespeare in a Denny’s parking lot at 3am”

“Real homies eat each other’s legs”

“Ok we have a definitive answer, it is necrophilia”

“why isn’t there a copy and paste button for paper”

“Quit throwing it you ding dong”

“Why does the door sound like bagpipes”

“Are you gonna die in my class or something”

“Just so you know I hear in 4 dimensions”

“Why do I always get stuck with the Texas bitches”

“Fuck my math class this is purgatory”

“You would be a door knob”

“I wanna be a chair”

“That just makes my insides happy”

“I smell,,,,,,,,,,,, a Democrat”

“I found a baby!”

“I’d be the Michael Phelps of doggy paddling”

“Shows before hoes”

“Mother I come to you in my time of need, I need money”

“Big boy posters”

“He just yeeted a bike”

“What kind of 3rd grader insult”

“I play croquet!”

“I cry into my skull”

“He has more hair than brain cells”

*as we enter our history class* “Hello Sophia squared!”

“then it’s just pork squared”

“Elbows are the knees of your feet”

“sounds like mentos for demons”

“You can delete my joints but you can’t delete me”

“I’m predisposed to getting my joints deleted”

“He looks like fucking fletcher from ant farm”

“he wants to be a fuckboi but he’s actually a whore”

“We’re all eboys inside”

“The wind is blowing all the hair I don’t have”

*blows whistle aggressively*

*blows whistle* “I bought it off eBay”

“Switch bitches”

*whistle blows* “YOU SUCK”

“Good job mckell you made it to a base” “oh fuck you”

“You have not lived until you’ve had a whole stalk of rhubarb up your ass!”

“THE GOVERNMENT”

“If I get kidnapped and the guy is hot just diagnose me with Stockholm syndrome already”

“I am just joints”

“School can vore itself”

“Face like teeth”

“I’m short, unathletic and unwilling to try”

*after getting hit in the face* “are you ok” “no but my glasses are and that’s all that matters”

“your virginity or every single one of your toes”

“Thanos broke my dick”

“I’m sorry I have tits”

“Maybe the ball and trash can have magnets in them, and that’s why it keeps landing on the trash can”

“Dumbass with the fuckin sandals”

“It’s Han Han tiddy croissant, get it right”

“My name is Shaka oovka and I know god”

“But this is raspberry pez”

“Gimme your elbows”

*to my mom* “Geometry is propaganda”

“It’s tissue paper not crack you idiot”

“Jack owes the government all of its money”

“You want my nuts”

“I’d like to interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for an imitation of jack”

“because the government is tired of me being gay on the internet so they shut down my phone”

“Don’t lick my son Annora”

“I set a playground on fire”

“Stacy’s mom, damn them tiddies”

“Layla just dipped on me and made out with a 17 year old in the bathroom

*sits down* “I look like a horse girl”

“Freddie Mercury died from cooties”

“WAIT BECAUSE OF THE RULER INCIDENT”

tagging @eggtissue so she can see our beautiful creation

[zodiacrant]

100 facts about me 😁

My name is Hussain and I am a 19 year old boy

I am 6’1

I live on an Island called Bahrain

I am a Taurus

Aquarius is my dominant sign

I am a fashion designer (an actual one)

I am studying English literature in university

I hate alchol and drugs because when I tried them I instantly hated everything about them even more

I never got kissed before

Still have my V card

Dated only two people in my life. One wanted me for a three some and the other turned out to be 42 years old.

I hate trends

I am an aggressive person until you prove me that you deserve otherwise

I love to write but I have a shitty hand writing

I was only in one physical fight in which I hit someone with a hair dryer and I have a scar on my right brow from it

I am a salty and bitter bitch and I won’t deny it

I am always loud, I don’t know how to lower or rise my voice

I have traveled to 7 countries and I hated all of them

Never had a job in retail or costumer service

I write poetry

I keep a journal

I dyed my hair bright blue and my mom almost had a stroke

I am bad at relating and understanding others

I never had a friend that didn’t have some bullshit going on(no like actual big time shit loads of bullshits)

I went to an all boys school

I did witchcraft

I went to a scrap yard and a junk yard at night

Was hated by the whole school and still was that Bitch

One time a kid made fun of me and said that I played with Barbies so the next day I came with my Barbie and the were shook and some even played with it

I was sexually assault 7 times in middle school but I always fought back and told

3 dads gave me their number outside of school

My friend was raped by his dad when I was in their house

I hate going outside

I have an allergy from cinnamon

I am scared shitless of heights and the ocean

I hate lazy and dependable people

I suffered from eating disorder from around the age of 8 until the age of 16

I was skinny shamed into obesity because skinny kids are not cute

I used binge eating as a form of suicide in which I was hoping to die of diabetes or high blood pressure or cholesterol while I was asleep

I never hated myself I just hated people

Enough with the sappy shit

My favorite artists of all times are Ariana and Kesha and Miley

I don’t like extreme music like rap and metal

I researched world problems since I was a little kid

I love food

I prefer cats over dogs but they’re both very cute

I don’t like kids but I love how you can see humans for who they’re fully in them with no boundaries

I hate Disney movies besides a few exceptions

Horror movies and comedy movies are my favorite

I love cheesy teen movies and chick flicks

Two broke girls is my all time favorite tv series

I had 16 pet and they all died within a week or two from having them

Once I was playing toss and catch with my turtle and one day it went up and never came down(like seriously I couldn’t find the Bitch anywhere)

I have three sisters

I witnessed more deaths than births in my life

I hate gender wars I think it’s very stupid and irritating to me to think one gender is better than the other and the rest of that whole fiasco

I don’t tolerate ignorance,stupidity,lack of self research,self based opinions on serious matters

I am very good at geography and history

I have a serious issue with emotions as I can wake up and feel nothing for people that I love and the whole relationship goes in vain very quickly and I have been working on it

Short term thinking and lack of ambition makes me question your importance as a person

My biggest pet peeve is people who say they’re smart or good or bad and they’re serious about it yet their actions prove otherwise

I love the color pink

I hate movies and going to the movies

Conventional dates bore me

I give people three months before deciding on what is our relationship

I love theories and I always think of different outcomes and mash different events with each other and what each event have caused and what would’ve happened if it didn’t

I have a very busy brain

I never came out but I was always gay

I was always interested in horoscopes and astrology but only until I was 13 I went more in-depth

I studied psychology in high school and self learning of course

The holocaust is the most interesting world event for me as I always had an attraction to it

I believe religion is like the equivalent of a constitution in the past so it’s basically laws that if you don’t agree with then you don’t so I don’t see why people make as this big majestic thing

I sympathize with the French Royalty during the French Revolution because they didn’t do anything but those who were not part of the family and in power played both parties and got out of it

I studied law for a course before dropping out

My dad used to plant racist and sexist ideas in my brain when I was younger thankfully I am smarter than that

My dream as a kid was to rule the world

I have been on a continuous dream ever since I was a baby as I dream as another person that lives in a different world but i always dream as that person and that world and it always continues

I feel like I’m a lucky person for much of strengths and blessings I have, someone told me it was because my Chinese sign is a rabbit which symbolizes luck

I fear failure subconsciously

I am gay but Demisexual is my sexuality

I saw a lot of dicks for a virgin

When i was 18 i had a plan that stated if I wasn’t successful and happy enough by the age of 21 I would kill myself by a plant that I knew would kill me slowly but without pain

I hit my sister with a rake on her head once because I thought she was a cat

Although I hate math I’m very good at it

I took P.E writing test instead of the physical one because I hate sports and a bitch don’t move like that

I was in the swimming team until apparently “I was too fat to join” but yet I had a better record than all of the other hoes

Fallout,the Sims,Mass effect and civilization are my favorite video games

I love riddles and mysteries