#live laugh love freedom to voice my opinions

[yourtwistedlies]

whoever that person is, hiding behind anon and sent hate to a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL + EVERYONE ELSE

i hope you feel bad. you don’t deserve to wake up the next day like nothing happened. because something did happen. you pushed someone way too far. who hurt you? who hurt you bad enough you’d do this to someone? in the end, it doesn’t even matter because that still does not justify the things YOU did. you are a COWARD. did you get that yet? C-O-W-A-R-D. YOU ARE A COWARD. you just hide behind anon, sending shit to people for existing. i dont even know if it was the same anon, but either way, regardless of who it was, this was a absolutely vile thing to do. what did she do to you? what did they do to you? what did bea do to you? sweetest fucking person i’ve met. what did fishy do to you? the best friend you could ever ask for. what did seph do to you? a kind, funny, fantastic person who’s always there for you. what did loife do to you? an amazing girl who deserves, so, so, so much more. what did everyone else do to you? what did they do to you? try and answer that question.

now anon, i’m not telling you to do anything bad to yourself. God made us all, and will always love us despite everything we do. you still matter. i believe in second chances. the Lord is forgiving and gives us mercy 💗 despite what you’ve done, love yourself. love others. love.

but do know and acknowledge, that you are not innocent. everything that happened to that wonderful, wonderful girl was not your fault. but you were enough to push her over the edge. the last crack in the glass before it shatters.

was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it? was it worth it?

was it worth it?

[ticklepinions]

Everyone should read the following. If we are a community you need to understand a few things.

Are you entitled to say anything you want due to "free speech"? Hell yeah!

Should you? Absolutely the fuck not!

The blatant racism, anti-queerness, transphobia, misogyny and fatphobia I have seen is down right abhorrent. And if you display any of these ideologies or opinions, you simply do not belong here. You shouldn't be comfortable making a safe space for yourself as you make this lovely community unsafe for the rest of us.

There is nothing political about human rights. But unfortunately that's where we are in this life. I'll try not to be biased but certain political leanings tells me all I need to know about you. POC conservatives will always make me laugh. You are nothing but a pawn for the cis/hetero/whites who don't give a shit if you live or die. Nothing but a slur, a body to dispose of. You may share their views but they are not sharing the power and privilege they have with you.

Let's talk about certain individuals who act so tough under the "big strong amurican sharing their views just to get shitted on, fucking snowflakes". Why do you want to be oppressed so badly? Why do you purposely antagonize people and then when they defend themselves you try dismissing them by saying how they're wasting their time... The irony of it all. The sheer ignorance.

I feel sorry for you people. Truly, I do. But I'll be damned if I let any of you try to tear any of us down for having opinions and ideologies (hint hint see the irony?) that fight for the rights of people who don't have them.

And let me get something clear- from the river to the sea. We all should not stop fighting till all of us are free. There are so many resources out there to educate yourself, yet you choose to remain ignorant. You do not belong here. You act as though you are better than everyone else because you have "edgy" opinions, opinions that literally call for the deaths of the marginalized and oppressed. You do not belong here. You have the gall to tell people they are wasting their time, when their sheer existence alone is putting them at risk for isolation and death (by the same bigoted people you support). You do not belong here.

If an elephant (Israel) has it's foot on a mouse's (Palestine) tail, tell me which one is truly the one at risk. There is a gen0cide going on. If Israel is trying to reclaim it's "land" why bomb it? Why destroy it? With a military with their degree they should be able to eliminate all these "terr0rists" with minimal to no "collateral damage" (aka the 30,000 innocent Palestinians, 2/3rds of which were woman and children, with countless injured, orphaned, homeless and starving). Why bomb hospitals, mosques, sacred places? Standing with Palestinian people is not antisemitism, it's anti gen0cide and war crimes (a multitude of which Israel has shamelessly committed).

And I'm not on anon. I stand for the people of Palestine. I stand for justice. I stand for equity. I stand for the freedom of all oppressed people.

And I implore everyone who follows me to educate themselves. The right path does not lead you to discriminate against the marginalized. Continue to fight my friends, continue to amplify the voices of those unheard, continue making this community and those you belong to, safe for all and unsafe for those who think otherwise.

For you @knismosexual + @littleonelee

I hope you truly reflect on how your actions impacts this entire community and the communities you live in. Until you learn how to act right, unfortunately this community isn't for you. You shouldn't feel welcome here. You shouldn't feel like you belong here. DMs are wide open if you have any thoughts. But again I say, supporting transphobic, racist, anti-queer, misogynistic, discriminatory views is not simply an "opinion" or personality to adopt. You are hurting real people, accepting the deaths and harassment that plague them every single day. You have no place in this community.

[theotherworld97]

To Shatter Into Pieces And Not Be Heard

Summary:

Elijah’s voice is merciless.

“You will choose Niklaus. You will prove your love for us by swearing to let us go, by giving us our freedom. Or you will try to keep us by force, and you will prove instead your selfishness, and bear the consequences.”

The silence is deafening. Panic claws at the back of his throat. There is no way out.

Diverges from TVD S3 E13. There is no fifth coffin, no resurrected Esther. There are only four furious siblings who have had enough, and their cruel half-brother who cannot bear to let them go.

-------------

“I'M THE HYBRID!” he roars. “I CAN’T BE KILLED! I HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR, FROM ANY OF YOU!"

Elijah steps closer.

“We do not claim to scare you brother. We have only ever tried to love you. But can you say the same for us?”

Klaus scoffs at this. “I do love you. I love all of you, each and every one of you. You are my family. I have never claimed to be a saint, I know I have hurt each of you in some way, but I have always tried to protect you. I built this house for all of us. I have always looked out for us, for our family.”

“Were you looking out for us, Nik, when you stuck a dagger in our hearts? When you left us for decades in a box?” Rebekah’s voice is scathing.

“I daggered you to protect you.” There is anguish now in his voice. “To protect this family. You might not agree with my methods, but do not doubt that I love you.”

Elijah steps in again. “What is love, Klaus?”

Klaus pauses, thrown off.

“What?”

“What do you believe love to be?” Elijah repeats. “How would you define it? What do you feel when you love someone?”

Klaus is disdainful, uncertain. He feels a trap, but cannot quite tell how. Elijah has always been masterful with words, has always has the ability to twist and turn the other person until they hardly remember their own opinions. But Elijah has never turned that ability onto him. He has never felt a sense of danger from Elijah, the way he feels it now. The gap between them becomes a chasm. He tries to bridge it, with his answer.

“Love is… it is complicated. To love someone is to want to protect them. To want them near, to enjoy their company, to see them smile and laugh. To love someone is to want to be loved in return. To feel, to feel everything for them.”

Elijah’s head tilts. He is still unreadable, unmoved. Klaus cannot predict the direction of this conversation. His throat has gone dry. Something unprecedented is happening in this room, he feels it in the air. He has the morbid thought that a tragic soundtrack should be playing in the background, because this will not end well. There is too much anger in the faces of all his siblings, that part is not new, but the anger is cold, icy. The kind he has not faced before.

“That is all true. Love does feel that way, most types of love will feel that way. But most types of love are self-serving, shallow, self-centered. Because true love, Niklaus, true Love seeks the welfare, the safety and the happiness of the beloved, above all else. To seek that above your own self, above your own safety, your own happiness.”

Klaus grows impatient. “Fine. Yes, it does. Make your point, Elijah!”

“My point is that we have all proved our love for you. We have sacrificed our own welfare, our own happiness for yours. We have done so for centuries. Now,” Elijah’s eyebrows rise briefly. “It's time to prove yours.”

The trap closes.

“How?”

“You will sacrifice your happiness for ours,” Elijah commands.

There is a heavy silence in the room, at the unexpected words, at the demand. Finn, Rebekah and Kol have turned to look at Elijah too.

Elijah continues, “You claim to love us. Very well. Right now, we are angry and hurt and we have suffered much at your hands. We want space. We want to live our own lives, free from you. Father is dead. For the first time in a millennium, we might settle down, allow ourselves to put down roots, to love. And we want to do it away from you. If any of us eventually wishes to forgive you, we will approach you. You will stay away from us and you will allow us to find happiness. Whether or not it will hurt you. Whether or not you desire it. Whether or not you fear being alone.”

Klaus’ eyes are locked with Elijah’s, in a mixture of horror, anger and denial. Kol and Rebekah hardly dare to breathe. Kol’s eyebrows are raised, impressed. It might be the first time Elijah and Kol have stood on one side, against Klaus, together.

Klaus’ voice raises, denying. “You are my family. We swore a vow. Always and forever, to stick together as one. You will not turn your backs on me. I will NOT be alone. Do you think I will let you go, after everything?”

“You have forsaken that vow many times.” Elijah’s voice is as frozen as the Arctic. It grows lower with his anger, not louder. “You no longer have the right to invoke it. You have lost the privilege, and until you win us back, you are excluded from the vow. You will prove your love for us. You will do that by staying away until we wish to come back to you. On our terms. And,” now there is a smile, of danger and contempt. A smile that strikes fear in the hearts of lesser men, that strikes fear in Klaus’ heart now. “If you refuse, then, I will take that to mean that you no longer love us. Or perhaps that you never have, that you only ever loved yourself. That we have been nothing more than puppets and servants to you. And if that's the case, well. I came a heartbeat away from killing you a couple of months ago. Do not make the mistake of thinking I cannot do that again. Kol will be willing to help me, I presume, and between the four of us it will not be too difficult to put you down for a while. For as long as it's convenient to us.”

“I approve of this plan, Elijah. Nik can see how he likes to lose an unlimited amount of years to your siblings’ whims.” Kol’s voice is cheerful, but there's a breathless quality to it. Such a scene in their family is unparalleled. Elijah against Niklaus like this is unparalleled.

Klaus knows the truth of the words. He cannot dismiss the threat, cannot scoff at it. Hybrid army or no, Elijah and Kol together against him? He has always been the slightest bit afraid of each of them on their own, but if they put their minds together he would be hard-pressed to outmanoeuvre them.

Threats will not work on his family, and what else is left?

“Please, do not leave me. Elijah. Rebekah. All of you. I am sorry,” and he has to force the words out because it has been centuries since he apologised to anyone for anything. “Forgive me for what I have done, for my sins. Punish me if you will, but do not leave me. I will agree to whatever you want. I will show you that I am changed. I will redeem myself. Brother, please. One more chance, in the name of all we have been for each other. I cannot be alone. I built this house for all of us, let us live in it together. We will be one family. No one will be able to stand against us.”

Elijah’s voice is merciless.

“You will choose Niklaus. You will prove your love for us by swearing to let us go, by giving us our freedom. Or you will try to keep us by force, and you will prove instead your selfishness, and bear the consequences.”

The silence is deafening. Panic claws at the back of his throat. There is no way out. Nothing he can say. Elijah has always been able to pierce him. He has never been able to truly outwit him. Never been able to stand against him properly. Whenever he has successfully hurt Elijah, it is only because Elijah allowed it. Because Elijah had honoured their vow, because Elijah had given him grace, had put their bond above himself. He has always been the keeper of their bond.

And now, now he has finally turned Elijah against him. Elijah destroys him with a few well-placed words. There is nothing left to do and no cards left to play. He is the architect of his own ruin and he will be left completely alone. His mind will destroy itself from the loneliness. It is every haunting of the Hunters Curse, but it is real.

“Go, then.” His voice is shattered. “You want proof of my love? Here it is.” Tears slip down his face completely without control. “Go, all of you. Live your lives. You are free of Mikael, and free of your bastard brother. The true Mikaelsons, liberated at last. I will not chase you.”

Disbelief permeates the air. They are all staring at him, rooted to the spot. His family had all expected him to fight, to chase them, to capture and dagger them again. They suspect a trick, perhaps, a feint, but the look on his face is sufficient to convince them. Finn is the first to turn around and leave. Kol opens his mouth, then closes and follows Finn silently. The smirk forever present on his face is not there.

Elijah and Rebekah are still standing there. They look at each other and then back to him.

“Nik,” says Rebekah, softer now. The earlier hostility has faded. “Thank you. This – this might not be forever, you know.” But her voice is uncertain, weak. She does not wish to make any promises, lest he collect on them.

“Go!” his voice is a roar, the last of his strength. “Leave. You have what you've always wanted. So go!”

Then there is only Elijah, silent, watchful. He can barely look at him, this brother who has always given him strength, whose hand on his shoulder and forehead against his own have anchored him throughout the centuries. This brother, who an hour ago was toasting Family Above All with him. This brother who has done what none of his enemies could have done, who has separated him from his family and thrown him into the trash. Who has finally left him to his own filth and madness, and washed his hands of him. There cannot be much blame felt towards Elijah. It is all towards himself. But he would not be himself if he did not try for a final blow

“Elijah,” he murmurs, still looking away. “You said something wrong, earlier.

“What?” inquires Elijah.

“You said if I chased you lot and made you run, I'd be no different from father. But out of all of us, brother, you are most like him. In cruelty and the sheer ability to be ruthless.” He laughs a little, silently. “For all my bloodthirsty behaviour, I am nothing to you.”

Now he looks at him, catches a slight wave of emotion that ripples along Elijah’s face before it smooths out into inscrutability again.

“Yes.” Elijah’s voice is steady, calm. “I have always had Mikael’s cruelty in me. Out of all of us, I was the one to inherit his temperament. But unlike him, I have never turned it towards my family, my blood. I have never wished to hurt any of you. And perhaps you will not believe me, but tonight was not to hurt you either.”

“Was it not?” Klaus’ lips try to turn up into a mocking smile, but fail. “For someone who was not aiming to, you certainly did a fantastic job.”

“I protected you, always. At the expense of everyone and everything, myself, and even our family. But you are not my only family. Rebekah, Kol, Finn, they deserve my protection and my love. So now it is their turn. And they will have it, even if it must be at your expense.”

He turns away, then turns back. “I will leave my phone number and email address in the kitchen. If you are ever truly in need of my help, ask for it and I will come.”

Klaus is silent. He listens to the footsteps of his brother until he hears him meet the other siblings, hears them get into the car and drive away. When the sound of the car’s engine has faded completely, he feels his legs give way. He collapses on to the floor, and shatters silently into pieces. There would be no point in making noise anyway. There was no one around him to hear, or care.

You will be alone, Rebekah’s mocking voice echoes in his mind. Always and forever.

[songbirdseung]

arguments / en- hyung line🤍

Argument with Heeseung

Y/N couldn't help but feel frustrated as they stared at Heeseung, their argument heating up. "Heeseung, you never listen to me! It's like my opinions don't matter!"

Y/N and Heeseung had been high school sweethearts, sharing dreams and aspirations. Their love was the kind that felt unbreakable, and they had always believed they could conquer anything together. However, as the years passed and Heeseung's music career took off, they found themselves drifting apart.

It wasn't just the late nights at the studio; it was the missed dinners, canceled plans, and the fact that Heeseung always seemed preoccupied even when he was physically present. Y/N had tried to be supportive, cheering Heeseung on in his pursuits, but the emotional distance between them had become undeniable.

The argument began one chilly evening when Heeseung had promised to spend time with Y/N, only to send a message saying he had to stay late at the studio once again. Y/N felt a mixture of loneliness, frustration, and fear that they were losing the closeness they once shared.

"Why are you always putting your work before us, Heeseung?" Y/N's voice trembled with hurt as they stood in their dimly lit living room. "I feel like I'm not even a priority in your life anymore."

Heeseung sighed, frustrated by the weight of Y/N's words and the guilt that had been building up inside him. He knew he was hurting the person he loved the most. "Y/N, this is my dream," he said, his voice softer but tinged with sadness. "I thought you'd understand that sometimes I have to make sacrifices for it."

Their argument was fueled by their love, both passionate and stubborn. Y/N wanted more time together, craving the connection they had lost, while Heeseung struggled to balance his career, a dream he had worked so hard to achieve, with their relationship, which meant the world to him. It was a clash of priorities, dreams, and emotions that neither of them wanted to let go of, but they knew they needed to find a way to bridge the growing gap between them.

Argument with Jay

Y/N and Jay had always been known among their friends as the fiercely independent couple. They both cherished their individuality and freedom, which was what initially drew them together. Their relationship was marked by passionate love and unwavering support, but it also had its moments of tension.

The latest argument had been building up for a while. Jay had been invited to a party by a close friend, and he was excited to attend. However, the party was on the same night as their monthly date night, a tradition they had maintained for years. Jay felt torn but ultimately decided to accept the invitation, believing that Y/N would understand his need for personal space.

When Jay broke the news to Y/N, it didn't go as he had expected. Y/N had been looking forward to their date night, which was their cherished time to reconnect and share their thoughts and dreams. Hearing that Jay wanted to skip it felt like a blow to Y/N's heart.

"You can't expect me to be at your beck and call all the time, Y/N," Jay argued, his tone sharper than he had intended.

Y/N felt hurt and ignored. The tears welled up in their eyes as they tried to explain, "It's not about that, Jay. It's about wanting you to include me in your life. We used to be so close, and I just don't want us to drift apart."

Their argument was a testament to their strong-willed natures. Jay needed space to maintain his individuality and friendships outside the relationship, while Y/N needed reassurance that they were still a priority in Jay's life. It was a challenging balance they had to strike in their relationship, one that they both knew was worth fighting for.

Argument with Jake

Jake and Y/N had been together for a while, and their relationship was marked by Jake's playful and mischievous nature. He had a knack for making Y/N laugh even on the toughest days, and his humor was one of the things Y/N loved most about him. However, lately, Y/N had been feeling overwhelmed.

It had been a particularly trying day for Y/N. Work stress, personal issues, and a general feeling of exhaustion had left Y/N emotionally drained. When they came home, they hoped to find solace in Jake's company. But as soon as Y/N walked through the door, Jake greeted them with a teasing remark about something trivial.

Usually, Y/N would have laughed it off, but today was different. Y/N's emotional reservoir was already overflowing, and the teasing comment felt like the last straw. Tears welled up in their eyes as they confronted Jake.

"You never take anything seriously, Jake!" Y/N exclaimed, their voice quivering with a mix of frustration and sadness. "I can't always handle your constant teasing, especially not today."

Jake, seeing the tears in Y/N's eyes, immediately regretted his words. He had no idea that Y/N was going through such a tough time. He tried to apologize, but his words seemed inadequate in the face of Y/N's hurt.

Y/N was too hurt and overwhelmed to listen to Jake's apologies at that moment. The argument that ensued wasn't just about the comment but also about the accumulated stress and feelings they had both been carrying. It became a turning point in their relationship, highlighting their need for better communication and a deeper understanding of each other's emotional needs.

Argument with Sunghoon

Y/N and Sunghoon had been dating for a while, and their relationship had always been marked by intense passion and affection. However, lately, Y/N had been struggling with a growing sense of insecurity. Sunghoon was not just good-looking, but also incredibly friendly and outgoing. It was a quality that had drawn Y/N to him in the first place, but it had also become a source of jealousy.

One evening, they were at a social gathering when Y/N noticed Sunghoon engrossed in conversation with a charming girl. They were laughing and seemed to be having a great time. Y/N tried to suppress the gnawing feeling of jealousy, but it grew stronger with each passing minute.

As the evening wore on, Y/N's emotions bubbled to the surface. Unable to contain the jealousy and insecurity any longer, Y/N confronted Sunghoon. Their voices were hushed, but the tension in the air was palpable.

"Why are you always so friendly with everyone?" Y/N's voice trembled with a mixture of hurt and frustration. "Am I not enough for you?"

Sunghoon was caught off guard, his gaze shifting from Y/N to the girl he had been talking to. He never intended to hurt Y/N or make them feel this way. He knew he had a friendly nature, but he had never meant for it to cause such doubt in their relationship.

"You know I love you, Y/N," Sunghoon said softly, his eyes pleading for understanding. "I can't control who I talk to. It doesn't mean I love you any less."

[noirvette]

WE NEVER EXISTED

[band smau]

[NINETEEN]

masterlist.

prev. | next.

cws: referenced drinking

Note: another longish chapter... hopefully this makes up for the lack of an update recently..

You and Kyle were working in relative silence, cleaning your house. You connected your music to the speakers so there was music at the least in the background but you two haven't spoken to each other since Kyle mentioned the band was on their way.

It hadn't been long that you stayed in this depressive mood, having only been a day and a half, but you sure managed to accumulate a mess. Mainly empty bottles of various drinks, alcoholic and non littered your room and living room. Doordashed food lay in your kitchen, no dishes in the sink besides utensils. Ice cream containers lay riddled in your trashcan. A few things you had torn in fits of anger laid scattered about.

The only thing that really had to go in your opinion, was the rest of Kenny's things he had over here and he had.. A lot. Most of Kenny's personal belongings were actually over here, considering he spent most of his days when he wasn't working over at your place. Butters didn't mind actually and somewhat preferred to how in and out Kenny was, gave Butters more freedom than a regular roommate.

Kenny.. before all of this happened you were.. planning on asking if he wanted to move in with you. You had been dating for a while and it seemed right, but now you're glad you didn't.

Kyle had graciously done most of the pick up, besides you doing your room. The only other thing you had to do was go through all of Kenny's old shit.

'Les' by Childish Gambino played softly in the background and you couldn't help the snort that left you. How ironic. You continued boxing up Kenny's clothes and other various items he had left in your room before you heard a voice coming from the living room and you focused on the voice.

"Fuck you. Can I have this dance," Kyle sings along, "Baby you're the baddest... baby you're the baddest girll."

You stood up, surprised at Kyle singing along to Childish Gambino of all people and slowly walked to your living room, where you stood and watched him bop along to the song as he picked up the trash laying in the living room.

"Ooh girl, I wanna know, are you ready to cry? Cause I'm no good.. no good. Ooh, girl I wanna tryy, I'm an awful guy..."

You couldn't believe your eyes nor your ears.. Kyle Broflovski.. singing in your living room as he helps you clean up. What a surprise. And to Childish Gambino no less, that's what shocked you the most.

"And I'm always away.. And I'm tryna say.. I'm a piece o- OH JESUS" Kyle turns and sees you standing there, he drops the garbage bag and bends over, hands on his knees.

You giggle and start clapping your hands, "That was a wonderful performance, you don't sing often enough, I forgot how nice your voice is."

"God this is embarrassing. How could you just stand there." Kyle huffs out, slowly standing back up.

You scoff, "I just did! I heard you from my room mister, have you been singing this entire time?"

Kyle looks away in embarrassment and you take that as a 'yes' and start laughing. Kyle joins in and the two of you couldn't stop the laughter tumbling out

The song quiets down and changes and soon 'Trance' starts playing next. You let out an noise of excitement, "OH I LOVE THIS SONG".

You run to the speaker and turn it up. Kyle crosses his arms, watching in amusement at your sudden behavior.

"DID YOU FORGETTT DO IT FOR LIFE CHICAGO THAT TIMEEE" You sang loudly.

You danced around moving to the beat being careful to avoid anything that lingered on your floor, "WONDERFUL VIBE WONDERFUL NIGHTT".

You turn to look at Kyle, hope and anticipation in your eyes and posture and he sighs before joining in, "We pulled out the feathers for this type of weather."

"YEAHHHH." You loudly exclaim, you run to him and grab his hands, jumping around to the beat and he stumbles, looking a lot like a fish out of water.

"SHE PUT IN MY HAND DONT KNOW WHAT IT WAS"

"She know some of the fam, but don't know enough." Kyle joins in.

Kyle finds your erratic tempo and joins in with your jumping around, managing to keep ahold of your hands.

Both of you sing along loudly, "Takin these M's they givin us, then run in the field like it's ten of us, I'm cleaning shout like an enema, I make that shit look like a cinema."

The both of you start giggling as you continue dancing around your living room.

"I PARTY AT SHABBA IN NEW YORK AND LA WHERE THEY KEEP GOIN ON TILL THE DAWN." Kyle raps along to Young Thug's part and you laugh loudly at how dorky he sounds.

He laughs along with you before laughing his way through the current lyric going, "I BACKED OUT OF THE KNOT SHE TRIED TO TAAAANGLEE UP."

You both dance around each other, having stopped holding hands, "IM IN A TRANCE ITS GIVIN HER.." Kyle starts.

You continue, "I MOVE SO FAR IN TIME! I MOVE SO FAR IN TIME!"

The both of you scream out, "I'VE BEEN.. I'VE BEEN WHIPPED UP IN WHIP.. WITH MY FIST UP.. IN DRIVE!"

The two of your collapse on your couch in a fit of laughter. You were out of breath, tired from the jumping around, singing, and laughter. Taking a quick peek up at Kyle lets you know he was in the same boat as you.

As the song lulls and quiets down, so does the laughter between the two and as you both finally get the last giggles out, Beabadoobee's 'Cologne' starts up next.

Letting the song start, the two of you catch your breath. Kyle lets out a sigh with a smile, "Guess we better get back into cleaning huh?"

You slouch some more into the couch, "Booo.. I don't want to clean this up anymore, besides digging through Kenny's stuff brings back memories for me.."

Kyle looks over at you, "I can always do that for you instead you know? Give you a break from that."

You wave your hand to dismiss his idea, "Yeah but you don't know what his stuff is and what mine is."

"Uhm... then you can.. sit and just say if it's Kenny's as I sort?"

You sit back up, "It's all good Kyle, that would take a lot longer besides, you're doing so much for me out here I couldn't ask of you to do that while I essentially slack off."

"Alright well, if you do want a break from him, just come find me I'll be out here." Kyle groans out, standing up and cracking his back.

You give him a small nod and just as you were about to get up, a knock at your door is heard and the both of you look over at the door, "Oh!" Kyle exclaims, "I'll get it, the rest of the band are probably here now."

"Sounds good, I'll get drinks then in the mean time," You get up and head over towards the kitchen while Kyle heads to your front door.

Kyle opens the door, "Dude! What took you so long to ge..." he trails off.

In front of him stood Kenny McCormick.

Kenny had about three different emotions that flashed across his face, first was shock at seeing Kyle, then confusion, and then, anger.

"The fuck? What are you doing here?"

Kyle takes a quick glance into your place and seeing that you didn't take a look at who's at the door tells him that you didn't hear it was Kenny, so he steps out and shuts the door behind him, "I should be asking you that, Kenny."

"Right, you should be asking me that," Kenny scoffs and rolls his eyes, "Dude why the fuck are you at my girlfriends place right now?"

"Ex. Girlfriend Kenny, and you know why. Okay, pause.. first off. Don't get threatened by me here. You're only feeling threatened because your fragile masculinity is taking over your tiny sized brain. You're only getting mad at me now because you aren't in an active relationship with Y/n anymore and the idea of her hanging around guys pisses you off because she isn't tied down to you. Which, a, I'm not tryna be a rebound, I'm trying to be a good friend." Kyle spat.

Kenny stood in silence at Kyle's words for a second, before punching him across the face, "How's that for fragile masculinity you fucking girlfriend snatcher. You're a piece of shit Kyle. You're only helping her out because you think you can get your dick wet now."

Kyle clutches the side of his face, "What the FUCK? Kenny what is your god damn problem?"

"My problem? MY PROBLEM? Oh my problem Kyle Broflovski is that you've loved Y/n L/n for let me count here," Kenny counts on his hand for emphasis, "One.. two.. three. four.. FIVE years. Five FUCKING years. And? And! CONVENIENTLY after we... sure. sure break up YOU'RE AT HER APARTMENT?"

Kyle stands up fully, pushing Kenny away from your apartment door, "Get the fuck out of here Kenny. You're not wanted."

"I'M NOT WANTED? GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND YOU SON OF A BITCH."

Kenny tries to swing again and Kyle dodges it, grabbing Kenny's arm and pushing him against the wall, leaning in closer to Kenny's ear he whispers, "Kenneth. I'm being generous by letting you be so close to her as of right now. Go. You leave her alone. She's gone through enough shit recently because of the stupid, idiotic, and beyond disgusting actions that you've done. You want to come for me about getting my dick wet? When you cheated on your girl? News fucking flash, I'm not using Y/n in any capacity. She's a friend in need so get that through your sick and fucked up mind, Kenneth. Your shit will be hand delivered by me. You do not get to come anywhere near her. I will make sure that you're banned at any future shows and I will make sure you NEVER. hurt her again, are we clear?"

Kenny groans, "Fuck you, you bi-"

Kyle pushes him further, "Are we. Clear."

Kenny stays silent for a while and then he whispers, "Yes... yes we're clear jesus fuck."

Kyle lets Kenny go and Kenny backs away from the wall and Kyle, rubbing his wrists and arms. Kyle stares down at Kenny with a harsh glare, cheek slightly bruising due to Kenny's punch.

Kenny stares up at Kyle, "Just.. if you do get with her.. treat her right." Kenny then turns on his heel and walks down the hallway, Kyle watching him, eyebrows furrowed.

Kyle turns back to your apartment and opens the door, you're standing in the middle of the hallway, staring at the door and he freezes, wondering how much you managed to hear.

"Is..is he gone?" You ask tentatively.

Kyle gulps nervously, "Y..yeah he's gone."

You let out a sigh of relief and throw your arms around Kyle, "Thank god.. thank you."

"M..me?" Kyle stutters out, "For what?"

"For getting him out of here. I hear the slam against the wall and assumed something was happening and then I heard you say his name and I just froze here."

"What.. what did you all hear?"

"I tuned out the minute you said Kenneth the first time.. I think.. I heard the.. something about you delivering all of Kenny's stuff for me and that he's banned from our shows." It was then that you noticed the darkening bruise on Kyle's cheek and you gasped, "Oh my god he punched you? That fucking dick.. Kyle come on let's get that taken care of."

Kyle tried to wave you off but you dragged him away to your bathroom, "It's not a big deal."

"It's a big deal because you only got hurt because of me.. essentially. Thank you by the way if you weren't here.. who knows how this could've gone." You force Kyle to sit on the toilet seat as you grabbed numbing cream and a bandaid after washing your hands.

"This may be cold." You said, as you rubbed the numbing cream gently into his skin, however the spot is tender so Kyle still hisses in pain. "Sorry.." You whisper.

"It's fine."

You finish up and clean your hands and Kyle checks his phone and lets out an airy laugh and you turn to look over, "What is it?"

"The others just got here. Uhh..Clyde sent a pic of Kenny leaving in the group chat and captioned it with, 'Who let the unleashed attack dog in?'"

You couldn't help but let out a laugh of your own, "Let's just go see them."

TAGLIST: @captivq @kimiesstuff @bwljules @the-cooler-kira @1one1person1 @kenny-the-ken @neenieweenie @n0tangeliccc @frogindisguise @revzxn @ryenwritess @mirophobic @gonefiishiing @musiclovebot @bootsieboo @bonez4brainz @s0l4riss @1996kj @sweetadonisbutbetter @scinclaitnoir @okarigold

[stormblessed95]

I'm all good, if Jkk broke up atp tbh. JM seems to glow. He looks like someone who is out of a toxic relationship and found new freedom to do and enjoy everything he liked. And I'm happy if the reason is end of Jkk for his thriving.

On other hand, I'm being honest so bare with me, JK seems so miserable. Not only my opinion, I saw many saying JK seems so sad now. And how he looks like Tae in 2019 who was at a not so good place mentally then. And how they hope he talks about it to someone and try to be happy again. In almost all contents (which is only few btw) he seems gloomy. One sec he'll laugh next sec he'll go all sad and lonely. Even in New year message, when others told about things to look forward and how they are trying lot of various things with lot of hope. JK said he wish this year goes fine without much up and down. There was zero happiness or hope in his voice.

The cackle I let out 🤣 oh boy. Anywho, here is your book recommendation! Since I do this now. I give books recs to the haters instead of entertaining their nonsense lol

ACOTAR by Sarah J Maas. To be fair, SJM writes extremely white washed and heteronormative fantasy romance books. But they are a fun sandbox of stories and relationships to play around in. So while I don't love her, her books are fun.

Content warnings: Drugging, Emotional abuse, Kidnapping, Manipulation, Murder, Physical abuse, Sex scenes, Sexual abuse, Sexual assault, Torture, Violence, and Racist/Homophobic undertones in stereotypes for certain characters.

Description of book 1: Feyre's survival rests upon her ability to hunt and kill – the forest where she lives is a cold, bleak place in the long winter months. So when she spots a deer in the forest being pursued by a wolf, she cannot resist fighting it for the flesh. But to do so, she must kill the predator and killing something so precious comes at a price ...

Dragged to a magical kingdom for the murder of a faerie, Feyre discovers that her captor, his face obscured by a jewelled mask, is hiding far more than his piercing green eyes would suggest. Feyre's presence at the court is closely guarded, and as she begins to learn why, her feelings for him turn from hostility to passion and the faerie lands become an even more dangerous place. Feyre must fight to break an ancient curse, or she will lose him forever.

As for WHY I'm recommending this series to anon based off their message, that will be full of SPOILERS SO DONT READ AFTER THE NEXT PHOTO IF YOU DONT WANT SPOILERS

Feyre is in a relationship with Tamlin for the entire first book basically. And into the second. But due to their own traumas, the relationship is incredibly toxic and unhealthy. She ends up leaving him and finds her fated mate in Rhys. Where she blooms and blossoms and becomes a very powerful person. Tamlin withers, becomes lonely, depressed, and full of malice. Her new relationship and just new life even before she gets into said new relationship is honestly super great. Im being honest anon, so bare with me please. You'd probably enjoy reading about the come up, which means you'll have to at least get to book 2 in the series anon. Good luck. Hopefully this gives you some characters you can obsess over so that you can leave the real people who are in BTS alone and stop treating them like characters in the story in your head. Thanks!

[the-scarlett-sanctum]

Totems

My mother once referred to my dad and his niece as people of things. She didn’t mean they were materialistic, she meant they connect feelings and memories to things as a reminder l. They become a totem, an embodiment of those feelings and memories; something as trivial as a candle from her birthday cake to my cousin became the embodiment of her entire birthday. A day that meant so much to her. But to me it didn’t make sense, it was a candle. She had presents and cards and pictures she could look back at and have those same feelings and emotions, why was this candle so important? I’ve always been a firm believer that in order to find any truth in this life we have to first look inward and find our own truth, the inner truth that drives us and makes us who we are. That’s when it hit me, these totems are created and used by everyone just in different forms with different justifications. When we buy ourselves or loved souvenirs it’s the same thing. We buy them for ourselves to have that totem to hold when we need a reminder of a time or trip or adventure that brought us to a place of happiness. We buy them for our loved ones in hopes we can share these feelings, share this happiness or freedom or excitement. As if we’re transferring some of our memories, our hearts, to the ones we love since they couldn’t be there to share it with us. To further this, we gather totems from the ones we lost. I lost my papa before i graduated high school. The world felt like it stopped turning when he died. I lost his smile, his laugh, his voice saying good morning and see you tomorrow. I lost a friend, enemy and mentor all in one person. And it wasn’t until I could hold something of his, something he touched that the world started to spin again and I could breathe. I have a little memorial I keep for him that includes a pillow case, his id badges from when he volunteered at my brothers school, his sunglasses and a couple of his hats. When I hang them it makes it feel like a part of him is with me, like he isn’t completely gone. Now I’m retrospect, these should be with my little brother, they were closer than me and my papa and I could ever hope to be. Hell, me and my grandfather argued more than anything else, and while years later I realized it was out of love, he and I had a bond forged in the fires of adversity and differing opinions, but not camaraderie like his and my brothers. Yet I needed these totems to try and remind me of the positive memories we shared. We do this with the living as well. I never thought myself a person of things until I found someone I cared about more than anyone else I’ve ever known, more than myself. I found myself saving something from everything we did together and putting them in a box. These totems range from ticket stubs from movies and outings to a rock they gave me in a parking lot being silly. And no matter how ridiculous or trivial the time may seem, I can tell any inquiring person exactly the memory tied to it, everything we did, all the good and sometimes bad feelings that came with it. All of these thoughts and feelings all confined in this object at times no bigger than a bullet shell casing or movie ticket.

[jennysmaroon]

This amazing woman @taylorswift inspires me so much. She has the most amazing smile and she’s so incredibly funny. Even when she’s not trying to be. She can laugh like no one else and she is the most talented lyricist I’ve ever experienced . She also has the most beautiful hands and fingers I’ve ever seen. A true businesswoman that simultaneously has the biggest heart on the planet. Humble beyond recognition and a force in this industry. So beautiful from the inside and out and with eyes full of love for the right cause. She fights for those who need it and always remembers where she came from. She makes me feel things I didn’t think was possible through her music and her art. She’s an incredible writer, creator, producer and director and she continues to evolve and explore new things in ways few artist even can comprehend.

I totally love the wide range of your singing voice and I am mesmerised by the depth of your speaking voice.

Before I found your music I never really listened to the lyrics in a song. Nowadays I understand myself through them. Somehow almost all of your lyrics feels like they are about things that have happens to me. I’ve felt like that too.

I’m forever and always so thankful and grateful for what you do for so many people🥹❤️

I’m planning on getting a tattoo with the following parts of your lyric from Marjorie❤️.

It would be a dream if it also was in your handwriting and with your signature 🙏����This lyric as in memory of my little son who passed away only 12 days after he was born due to a severe heart condition.

“Never be so kind you forget to be clever

Never be so clever you forget to be kind

And if I didn’t now better I’d think you were talking to me now.

If I didn’t know better I’d think you were still around.

What died didn’t stay dead

You’re alive, you’re alive in my head”

T.S

I wish I could give something back to you for changing my life for the better.

I wish I could give you the freedom to live your life without those cynical clones with cellphones chasing your every step. I wish I could give you the possibility to love and date whoever or as may or few as you want without the public’s constant speculation. All I want for you is that you’ll have the opportunity to live, love and flourish as a woman without having to adapt yourself to everyone’s opinion.

Love you @taylorswift for everything 🙏🏻🥹🌟

[spagettiyeti-blog]

I went to Min Yoongi concert in Newark,NJ with my best friend!!!! It was super fun, we were in the nose bleeds but I screamed my lungs out like a good little fan and it was fucking amazing. I still had a voice afterward so ig I didn’t scream hard enough (I’ll go for strep throat next time) but even on the tiny walkway I was having the time of my life. He was about the size of the tip of my thumb to my knuckle, and he was an absolutely feral little thing, Daechwita was insane, the crowd went wild and it was one of my favorite moments a I was there the The Guitar string broke and actually caught a video of it, and Park Fucking Jimin was a balcony or two away from us, it was a dream come true, seriously. I had never been so happy in my life and I can’t believe it’s been about a month already…we stood in line for two hours to get in, and when the concert ended security kicked us out and those of us without rides went across the street to a bar. They ended up playing a bunch of BTS songs and the lot of us sang along and danced, there was laughter and cheering, it was all super friendly. When I left I called out “BYE ARMY” and no one said anything, at least not that I heard and it made my stomach twist in anxiety and my mind was running but I can give it a little laugh now, hopefully later on I can laugh about it more wholeheartedly. It’s still a bit sore ^^*

I wish it went on forever, I wish I had more space on my phone for videos, but I got to watch with as much attention as my dissociated brain would allow, I was so happy I could cry (I wanted to but ironically, couldn’t) and I wanted nothing more than to hug the man that understood me more than anyone else despite not knowing who the fuck I was.

I made a friend, a person with long neon green hair and a cut out Yoongi head that their girlfriend made, we tried to get it on the board when they showed ARMY posters and stuff but they never did, Greenie reassured me it was okay but I think we were both a bit disappointed. But there were to people with pumpkins on their heads, they were the absolute best in my opinion and my next concert I’d like to do something like that.

I miss Min Yoongi. So much more than I thought I would. It was the most amazing magical night I could’ve ever experienced, and coming back home was the most painful. Big city back to small city…streets became recognizable and once home, I cried in my kitchen. I spent a week missing Yoongi, two weeks missing New York and Jersey, and three realizing what I genuinely missed was freedom and understanding (and Yoongi). I’m going to every concert I can, whoever I can see, enjoying the moment and traveling to wherever I can until the day comes that I don’t have to come back unless they’re home visits. I’m going to miss this place, yeah. I grew up here, know only this place and it’s crusty roads and tiny landmarks, ones that I have grown to love. I’ll appreciate my time here, but soon enough I’m going to leave, because as much as these tiny roads and crusty landmarks hold my heart, I’ll seriously never be able to live. It’s suffocating here, the people suck, the roads suck, the memories suck and then they don’t, and Min Yoongi made me understand that…I can do whatever the fuck I want. Fuck I stayed in an Airbnb for three days with just myself and my best friend, took a train on our own with our own money, watched our tiny city fly by, watched people become stranger and stranger as buildings got bigger, crustier, more refined, then crustier again. Heard the train honk it’s fucking horn, felt it speed up and slow down and felt so god damn fucking free that for the first time in my life I felt like I could breathe fresh, stale air. And I felt great walking out in New York City streets, I was a new person the entire trip, I breathed in stale, fresh air and listened to the sounds of the night encased around me and god damn NYC never really went to sleep, did they? 3am and the sounds never stopped. 12 o’clock here it’s dead silence save for a few drunken yells, a couple gun shots and squealing tires, the neighbors fighting and beating, or maybe complete and utter silence, depending on where you slept.

This wasn’t meant to be a poet, I wasn’t supposed to rant this early on, buts it’s 5am and I’m feeling. I’m missing my freedom. I’m missing Min Yoongi and all his glory, standing tall from the tip of my thumb to the knuckle. I can’t believe the light shining in my room right now, but it’s nothing like waking up at 1pm on a air mattress on the urban streets of New Jersey. It’s nothing like eating at Tick Tock diner at 3am and hearing some random woman scream at her boyfriend with strings of insults that made us all laugh and worry for his life. It’s nothing like waiting in line for two hours, anxious and buzzing while the cold stung my thighs in pants that just weren’t pant enough. It’s nothing like hearing the screams of ARMY as Park Jimin walked into the venue, 10 feet away from us in line.

Waking up here, it’s nothing like being alive.

Not at all.

One day, I’m going to see the 7 of them in concert, and when that day comes, with all the memories I make, I might just miss my train back home.

[wcrriorhearts]

lysandra's gaze does not leave uthred as he bows and greets her, his voice kind and soft, his movements fluid. he is definitely more used to being polite than her. last time she interacted with anyone of higher standing than herself, she called aemond a little rat face and that was that. it is almost a blessing that she will never have to see the greens again. she doubts she left a very good impression with them over the last sixteen years of living at the keep. then again, she could not have cared less what they thought of you. the fact that they made larys their advisor was reason enough to mistrust all of them. now an eleven year old boy who never smiles sits the throne and lysandra wonders where that will lead, but she feels for aegon. he deserved so much better and her heart aches for the nephews she lost during the war to this madness. her brother has been reunited with his sons now and she hopes he will get to love on them in the afterlife in a way he was never allowed to in this world. it is, however, hard to have survived them all. she is the last of her house and so is uthred, as far as she knows. he has an uncle, who stole his heritage, but his immediate family has also been long gone.

looping her arm with his, she gives him a nod and follows him deeper into the garden. "i'm afraid the pleasure will no longer be yours, once you know me better. i have quite the reputation here for being...hard to manage. which, in the world of men, means i am hard to control. i have my own head and do not intend to subject to a husband. if you seek a meek and devout wife, i suggest you find it elsewhere and we end this betrothal, before we find ourselves in a marriage bond that will make us unhappy." Lyssa has no intention of hiding anything from her potential match, because he will find out rather sooner than later anyway. she is rather spirited and will never be a quiet, obedient wife that caters to her husband's every whim. the way she grew up here at the keep has been hard, but also allowed her a freedom in many ways that other women did not have during their childhood and teenage years. her father let her train with harwin when she was younger, she never wore dresses when she didn't have to, she was brought up among boys and learned to demand a life similar to theirs. the limitation of womanhood never applied to her in her own mind and she will not give that up now for a husband. so either he will live with the fact that his wife will have opinions of her own and enforce them, or it is best they go their separate ways immediately.

"should this prospect not put the fear of the gods into you, i would be more than happy to get to know you better. you are not what i expected, i must admit, but in the best way possible. i was not given much information on the betrothal, so i imagined the worst." she looks up at him and grins, her freckled nose crinkling slightly when she laughs. "you still have all of your teeth! that is always a plus. and all limbs - also not taken for granted after the war."

uhtred cannot remember the last time he was this far south . it has been many years , certainly , and the very last thing he expected to bring him away from winterfell was the prospect of marriage . a man of nineteen now , he's lithe of foot and broad of shoulder ; the addition of stark furs to his cloak making him look even larger . but hopefully not imposing as that's the last thing uhtred would wish to appear to be in front of his future wife .

cregan has reassured him that she is spirited , as he is , so the dread of finding an old maid for whom children are almost an impossibility has somewhat subsided upon the road from the north . his muddied boots and spattered trousers have been changed for more formal attire and uhtred feels encased as he approaches the gardens .

the amulet of amber from his home at duskendale hangs about his neck , between the wolf heads clasp of his adoptive family and uhtred takes a breath before stepping out . truth be told he is nervous ; the giddy kind that turns a stomach to butterflies . still , it is her dress he sees first and immediately loves the colour . not only for its own beauty but also the way it looks upon her . he smiles , tight - lipped but not unpleasantly as he comes closer , each step more comfortable than the last .

" lady strong . " he begins , with all the goodwill in the world , knowing she deserves that respect as the last of her house . he gives a small bow - only from the hip - and then straightens , looking her in the eyes . he could get lost in those eyes . " i think we both know the pleasure is mine . " uhtred wonders what lysandra must think of him in his furs and drab brown hues but he must try to impress her if he is to one day take back his lands . he offers his arm , while the other rests by his side , hand playing with a similar amber orb worked into the hilt of his blade . " shall we ? "

[kimvvantae]

gravity ▸ knj (m)

➜ 5 months after the breakup, you're still gravitating around each other, no matter how hard you try not to. the only way to finally free yourselves from this pull is to let your orbits collide one last time.

pairing: namjoon x (f) reader

genre: smut, angst • exes au, porn with plot

warnings: infidelity. explicit sexual content (rough sex, oral (m receiving, throat fucking), fingering, spitting, hair pulling, ass slapping, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, nj has a gigantic d). alcohol consumption. smoking. brief mentions of vomiting. let me repeat: INFIDELITY, do not read if this type of content makes you uncomfortable!. basically sad porn

rating: 18+ (minors dni)

word count: 11k

A/N: this is a work of fiction, i do not glorify the actions of the characters. other than that, please feast some sad porn! special thanks to my brother abel tesfaye for inspiring me into writing this mess. as usual, feedback is MUCH MUCH appreciated!

➜ MASTERLIST | PLAYLIST | FEEDBACK

It’s ridiculous that Namjoon immediately spotted you as soon as you walked in.

It happened again. He thought he was over it already - over you. The magnetism. There’s no other word to describe the phenomenon that happens whenever you are around. Like a tiny, stupid planet being attracted to a heavy gravitational spot… a star. You. Indeed, the brightest star in this crowded room, so crowded that it’s almost impossible to cross it without bumping into someone. 

It’s like a sick joke. Why did he have to notice you so quickly? Why suddenly, as soon as he laid his eyes on you, everything else seemed pale and uninteresting in comparison? The loud music isn’t as exciting anymore, nor the chat he was having with his friends a mere second ago. The beer he just swallowed suddenly tastes like iron as it slides down his throat. Everything and everyone becomes distant - only noises in the back of his head, only blurred faces.

Except you.

He can see you in detail.

The tight, short black dress. So tight. It enhances every curve of your body. Namjoon doesn’t recognize this dress, which means you bought it after the break up. He loves it - the sight makes him hold the bottle of beer a little tighter. You wear a leather jacket over it, though, to protect you from the chilly night out there, which makes him a little disappointed - he’d like to see your figure in the dress, in all its glory, without anything to hide it.

The hairstyle and perfect makeup… Namjoon just knows you took hours to look as good as you look right now - although, in his opinion, you look just as incredible without any of it. He remembers all the times you went out together, you texting him that you were “almost done” when in fact you hadn’t even showered yet - which sometimes annoyed him, but the final result was always worth the wait, and he always made sure to show how he appreciated your efforts afterwards. He can almost see you in front of the bathroom mirror, angrily searching for the foundation bottle you lost again, until you’d ask if he’d just watch and laugh or would help you find it.

How many memories can flood his mind in such short seconds?

It’s been five months. Five months without seeing you. No hearing the sound of your laughter, no texts, no dates, no touching or tasting you. Five months of not seeing each other after three years of seeing each other almost every day. 

When you took the decision to break up, his most optimistic friends - and his family - called it freedom. Namjoon, however, faced it as punishment. Torture. It was painful to live away from you. The endless fights seemed meaningless in comparison. No… deep down, Namjoon knows he's lying to himself. He misses the fights. Like a drug addict in abstinence, he can’t help but miss the things that harmed him.

You were a drug. You made him high. For three years, he was intoxicated by your face, your body, your voice; your fun side, your focused side, your caring side, your intelligent side. Your awful side. The unjustified jealousy. The bad temper. The disagreements and arguments. The sex. God - no one else made him feel that way. It’s like you memorized his body like a map; you knew exactly what to do, where to touch. One look from across the room was enough to make his body get a fever. The fun sex when you were on your better weeks and the angry sex when you were on your worst ones.

At some point, the awful side became much more apparent than all the others in his point of view. And yet, he carried on with this relationship as much as he could, because he was addicted - he needed the adrenaline and bliss to stay alive. Until it got unsustainable. Until you finally decided to let go.

And, as soon as you gave the final word, Namjoon realized he’s a masochist. No sane person would miss a relationship so broken like that; not when the fights became much more frequent than any happy moment. But he couldn’t help missing you badly. Even though he did every possible effort to avoid meeting you, even though he blocked you on every social media - it didn’t work. Going on dates with other girls didn’t work. Not to say they weren’t pretty enough, interesting enough or that the sex wasn’t good enough… but they weren’t you. 

Namjoon is just a stupid, tiny planet, stuck in your gravitational orbit. He is reminded of this fact the moment he sees you. He was never healed from you. He never detoxified from you.

You, on the other hand, seem to be doing much better than him.

One second after stepping in, he walks in too, fingers intertwined with yours.

Namjoon heard the rumors from common friends. He brushed it off with faked disinterest, but he was too weak to not care. Unblocking your Instagram profile for the first time in months was enough. He saw the picture. 

Mark. He knows this guy. An easy-going, extroverted type of guy. Apparently a good person.

By all accounts - considering how his life felt like literal hell at some point while you were together -, Namjoon should hope you found someone that would make you feel as bad as you made him feel. Yes, he could be vengeful like that. Or… he still has feelings for you, that’s undeniable - so, from this standpoint, he should hope Mark was a good guy to you, hope he would treat you right… how could he wish something bad upon someone he cared for?

Wait.

No. 

Namjoon shouldn’t care for whoever his ex was dating at all. It shouldn’t affect him anymore. 

But it does.

The sight of this Mark guy holding your hand and smiling at you - and you smiling back - irks him up. The realization that you spent hours getting ready for him irks him. You look happy. 

Namjoon is a damn addict. A pathetic junkie. A tiny, stupid planet orbiting around you.

Although he just got here, he knows he needs to leave. His night is over anyway. It’d be better if he managed to leave before you could notice him - like this, at least, he’d still have a little bit of dignity intact.

However - what Namjoon doesn’t know is that, despite appearances, this magnetism is a two way road.

Because you spot him almost immediately, too.

When your eyes meet his, the smile fails. You stand there, frozen, shocked, before Mark puts his hand on your waist, totally unaware of the situation.

You avoid Namjoon’s gaze and look back at your current boyfriend. Smile again. This smile is an act, though. Namjoon can read you like an open book.

Namjoon gulps.

He should probably leave.

But he won’t. He can’t. He knows it. 

Your gravitational field forces him to stay.

He’s just a stupid little planet, after all. How could he fight against the pull of a star?

Babe, I want to leave.

It’s what you want to say as soon as you see Namjoon sitting there. You want to grab Mark’s hand and walk away. But fuck - how can you, when this is Mark’s best friend’s party? He’s been talking about it for days. You can’t ask him to leave, nor can you leave without him.

You don’t want to stay in the same place as him. No, no, no. Just no. 

How could you know he’d be here? You've been avoiding him so carefully for the past five months. You always made sure that Namjoon wouldn’t be at the places you planned to go beforehand - especially parties like this one, because hell, Namjoon knows too many people. But you failed this time. You didn’t expect Namjoon to be here at all. It seemed that Mark and Namjoon didn’t have common friends, which was honestly a relief. 

You were wrong, obviously.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

You feel Mark’s hand on the small of your back as he introduces you to his friends, but your mind isn’t really here as you greet them, and you don’t feel butterflies in your stomach when Mark makes it clear you're his girlfriend. This wasn’t supposed to go this way. You were excited to meet his friends and to be called girlfriend. But all you can feel right now is a chilling cold inside your stomach - not in a good way.

He's literally right there, sitting a few meters away from you.

Shit. 

Mark has a happy smile as he leans in, bringing his lips closer to your ear so he can be heard over the loud music: "Do you wanna drink anything, babe?"

No, you want to say. I want to leave. But it's the excited gleam in his eyes that holds you back.

"Yes." Before Mark can walk away on his own to bring you a drink, you grab his hand. "Let's take a drink."

There's no way you're leaving Mark's side with him around.

Not because you're afraid of Namjoon - he might have many flaws, but you never felt unsafe in the slightest around him. No… it's another problem.

You might not be strong enough to face him.

Not at all.

It seems that five months of distance weren't enough. You thought you'd be indifferent to his presence at this point; you thought you got over him. Fuck, you're literally holding your boyfriend's hand. Yet… the moment you noticed Namjoon's in the same room as you, it's like all of your senses went crazy. 

You still feel his eyes on you. It's enough to make your cheeks burn. Three years of dating and it never changed - the way a single look of his could put you at ease, how he could make you nervous and giddy and excited. You always loved his look of approval. Namjoon made you feel wanted. That's why you never measured efforts to look as good as possible whenever he was around, even though he always complimented your beauty, with makeup and good clothes or not. 

That's not fair. 

Mark is talking about something with his friends, but you're not paying attention to anything anymore. The loud music resonates on your stomach and makes you feel nauseous. Fuck. Your night is ruined - and it didn't even begin yet.

You still feel his eyes on you. Shit, you shouldn't. But for the briefest moment, you lift your gaze to look at him again.

Shit shit shit shit.

His black hair is cut short in that way he knows you love. He's wearing the loose black leather jacket you helped him choose, and you realize in shock that your outfits are matching. He's sitting carelessly on the couch in a comfortable position, legs spread, as some guy you don't know is invested in telling him something you can't hear from this distance, but Namjoon is barely paying attention, his eyes focused on you instead. Though you hadn't exchanged a word, his single gaze - the way his eyebrows are softly knitted, his clenched jaw, the way he presses his tongue inside his cheek, how he tilts his head and runs his hand over his mouth for a moment - tell everything you need to know:

He's angry.

He checks your body up and down, and you shiver, even though it's hot inside this crowded house.

You know him too damn well.

This is also his look of I want you. 

You gulp and immediately avoid his gaze again in a desperate attempt to pay attention to anything else.

But you know yourself very well, too. You know the way you unconsciously squeeze your thighs on one another, the way your breathing quickens and your heart races. 

And you don't know if you're strong enough to resist his gravitational pull.

This is a disaster.

Not only because he is here, which single-handedly was able to bring your mood down. Your legs hurt. No amount of trying to engage in a conversation seems to excite you, your cheeks already hurt from holding that fake smile. The loud music and screaming and chatting only increases your annoyance (and your headache); you can’t even bring yourself to drink anything, having finished only two bottles of beer. 

On top of all that - Mark is a lightweight.

You scowl, tapping his back lightly, as Mark throws up sitting on his knees in front of the toilet. The bathroom door is wide open to a crowded corridor; two of Mark’s friends, Chris and Jungwoo, stand in front of the door, watching him and laughing. Maybe if you weren’t in such a bad mood you’d be thinking this is kind of comical too, but right now, you have to control yourself to not roll your eyes.

He coughs and you fixate your eyes on a single tile on the wall (if you look too much at him, you’ll end up vomiting, too). You tap his back a little more strongly. “Put it all out, Mark. You’ll feel better.” You can’t even fake that reassuring tone anymore, sounding straight up annoyed instead.

Mark lifts his head to say something, but ends up coughing and then his face is inside the toilet again, as you just scowl. 

“Come on, Mark. You’ll end up getting Y/N dirty.” Chris says in disapproval. 

“I would be embarrassed if I were him.” Jungwoo says, tilting his head. “First time he brings his girl over… and look at his state.”

You look at them, forcing a lip-tightened smile. “I don’t mind, guys. He was just having fun… he’s been so stressed because of his finals.”

You do mind, actually.

Because you know Mark’s alcohol tolerance is ridiculously low. You asked him, over and over again, to slow down with his drinks. You weren’t trying to be the boring, controlling girlfriend - as a certain someone used to call you in the past -; you were just worried about him. Besides, babysitting a drunk grown ass man is anything but nice.

Yet - here you are, doing exactly so. 

As if this night wasn’t awful already.

“Y-You see? That’s why I like her. She gets me.” Mark stutters, smiling at you. You didn’t think he was even listening. 

Yeah, but you don’t get me, the evil side of your brain whispers.

The good side of your brain is quick to scold you: stop that. You said you would change, remember?

Yes. You’re trying to be better. Mark just didn’t pay attention to what he was doing, that’s all. He’s never done anything like this before, he just got a little excited. 

It’s like your brain is programmed to want to pick up a fight. But that’s not happening with Mark, not today.

You put some toilet paper on his hand so he can clean his mouth. He’s clearly not even seeing you straight. It looks like he already threw out everything inside his stomach. 

“Time to go home, then, hm?” You say.

“What? Go home, at this hour? No way.” Chris says, placing his beer bottle over the sink and walking over to Mark. 

You frown. “Can’t you see his state? I’m taking him home so he can sleep.” You try.

“Don’t bother, Y/N. He can sleep in my room for a while, I’m not letting you drive home this late at night.” Chris reaffirms strongly. “Jungwoo, help me pick him up.”

Jungwoo enters the bathroom as well, while you get up on your feet again, doing your best not to scowl at them. “It’s alright, I can drive! I’m totally sober!” You try. You really are sober - it’d need much more than two beer bottles to knock you out. 

“No, Mark would kill us if he knew that we let his girlfriend carry him around at night like that. Let us be hospitable, ‘kay?” Jungwoo says, sending a charming smile at you.

The two men help a babbling Mark get to his feet, carrying him out of the bathroom towards Chris’ room at the end of the corridor, and you follow them shortly. Thankfully, the second floor of the house is a little less crowded. Chris’ house is enormous, to be honest. You knew he had some money, but you weren’t expecting this. With some difficulty, they manage to get inside the bedroom and lay Mark on the bed. 

“Here, idiot. Get some rest.” Jungwoo says, tapping Mark’s head playfully. He whines in protest. “Shit, he’s gonna be so embarrassed tomorrow…”

“You staying with him, Y/N?” Chris asks, already standing at the door. 

You look at the pathetic - and cute - image of your boyfriend laid on the bed like that.

“Yeah.” You nod. “For a bit.”

“Meet us downstairs later, then.” Jungwoo says, leaving the bedroom too. “Don’t waste your night babysitting this fucker.”

If you didn’t know how close they are, you’d think he’s being rude, but both of them look at the younger and drunk male with affection. You nod, reassuring that you’ll definitely go downstairs, and they finally close the door, leaving you both alone.

You cross your arms.

Sure, they were trying to be “hospitable” - and yes, it was a nice gesture of them -, but fuck, they just destroyed your only chance of getting out of here.

You’re angrier now.

“Y/N…” Mark calls in a whiny voice that makes you roll your eyes.

You sit by his side on the bed. His eyes are barely even opened. “What?”

He somehow manages to open them, and a silly drunken smile appears on his lips. “You’re soooo pretty. The prettiest girl… I’ve ever seen. D-Did you know that?”

You can’t help but chuckle. It’s hard to get angry at Mark; you feel that he can get away with anything - a cute smile of his is enough to melt your heart in a second. You’ve been dating for a little over a month now, and it’s been a great month, to be honest. It’s been a while since someone made you feel butterflies in your stomach like that, made you smile just thinking of them. It’s like when you started dating Nam-

Shit.

You shake your head frantically, as if doing so will make the intrusive thoughts fly away. It’s ridiculous that you unconsciously end up comparing Mark to that certain someone. You’ve been trying your best not to. Mark is different - his personality is pretty much the opposite of that other person; he’s bubbly, funny, he makes you genuinely enjoy your time with him. It’s the first time you date someone a little bit younger than you, and you didn’t think it’d be this good. All your friends told you the same: you make a great couple. You look so happy with him. I’m so happy for you.

You like Mark.

You really do.

So why does your mind keep gravitating over Namjoon from time to time? Why does it keep comparing them?

You dated him for three years, you try to rationalize. It was a messy and long relationship. It’s just natural that you’d make comparisons now that you’re with a different person.

Yes. That must be it.

You pass your hands through Mark’s blonde hair and he smiles happily, closing his eyes. There’s blush all over his face. “You should really rest now.” You say quietly. 

It seems that Mark is trying to say something - but his voice dies mid-snore. 

A chuckle escapes through your lips again. He also falls asleep very fast.

You still stare at his sleeping form for a while.

Fuck.

You need to smoke.

You sigh heavily before getting up, careful to not make any noise as you walk out of the bedroom and close the door quietly. You’re immediately overwhelmed by the loud music coming from downstairs. You try to keep a fast pace as you walk out of the house, avoiding the people you know and rapidly greeting the ones you can’t avoid. When you finally manage to get out, you’re annoyed all over again. The cold nightly breeze makes you tighten the jacket around your body and regret coming with this short dress - it’s like your legs are about to freeze. Small steam clouds form in front of your face at each breath. 

You angrily march towards your car, parked at least four houses down the street (both sides are fully parked with Chris’ guests’ cars, this was the closest spot you could find). The music and screaming becomes distant, which is honestly a relief. You open the door rather roughly, reaching for the glove box, to get the pack of cigarettes you keep “hidden” there. Hidden from yourself, more specifically. You’ve been promising to stop smoking for a few years now - and in an attempt to stop, you purposefully “hide” the packs in places that will be inconvenient for you (it was very inconvenient to have to walk out of the house just to smoke, when you could’ve kept in your purse). Of course, you should stop buying cigarettes for all, but… well, maybe later.

You take one cigarette from the pack and put it between your lips, impatiently groping for the lighter. But… it’s not in the glove box. You get up again, putting your purse over the car’s roof, searching for its contents. Lip gloss… your wallet… phone… you groan.

“Where the fuck is it?!” You stomp angrily as if it’ll be of any use.

Then, you catch something with the corner of your eye - and you immediately freeze.

Someone handing their lighter to you.

You look to your left side, finally realizing there was someone standing there all this time.

And it’s infuriating that your heart nearly stops.

Namjoon.

He’s not looking at you, eyes glued on his shoes instead, as he places a cigarette on his own lips with the other hand. You hate that your eyes are widened at the sight of him so close after five months. You hate that your first immediate thought is he looks so good, he’s dressed the way you like, as if he knew you’d be here. You hate that your heart is already racing at the mere proximity.

You take so long to move that Namjoon finally looks at you, quirking one eyebrow up. “Are you taking it or not?”

Shit. His voice. You missed it so bad.

“What are you doing here?” You also can’t help the defensive tone. Whenever he’s around, you immediately square up. Always ready to pick up a fight. “Are you following me?”

Namjoon chuckles in a mocking tone, shaking his head. “Following you? That’s literally my car. I’m not following anyone.”

You blink, stretching your neck to see better. It really is his car, parked in front of yours. How didn’t you notice when you arrived?

You gulp, avoiding his gaze for a moment. 

Namjoon clicks his tongue, calling your attention. His arm is still extended, lighter in hand.

You shouldn’t. Don’t do it. Deny it.

Hesitantly, you take it from his hand. Your cold fingers brush against his warm ones. You shiver.

Fuck!

You light up your cigarette, inhaling it deeply, before putting it back in his hand. Namjoon also lights his up and exhales smoke from his nose.

Silence.

You can almost see the tension in the air around you.

“Thought you were trying to stop smoking.” He says quietly after a while. Both of his hands in the pockets of the jacket, he still looks down with his eyebrows knitted in a serious - slightly annoyed - expression. You hate yourself for admiring his side profile like that. You shouldn’t even be breathing the same air as him, let alone admire him.

“I am.” Your voice is also quiet. Namjoon chuckles.

More silence.

There’s some yelling at Chris’ house. Both of you look in that direction at the same time. It doesn’t sound like a fight, so your eyes focus on the car roof again. You hold the cigarette between your pointer and middle finger, exhaling smoke.

“I didn’t know you’re Chris’ friend.” You say. Why are you even trying to make small talk?

“He’s not exactly a friend. We had some classes together during college.” He explains. Oh. Right. 

Silence.

You hug yourself again as another freezing breeze crosses your body. This is so incredibly awkward. It’s even hard to believe you know this man intimately, that you were in a relationship for three whole years. Right now, he just feels… foreign. It was never this way. Never.

Namjoon sighs and inhales the last bit of his cigarette, before throwing it on the floor and stomping on it. “I… saw you with your boyfriend-”

“Stop.” You say abruptly, lifting your palm towards him before he can finish the sentence. “Just stop. We’re not doing this.”

“Doing what?” But he’s lifting his eyebrow again, and you know he’s getting sarcastic in the way you hate the most. “I was just going to say how happy you looked… babysitting him, I mean.”

You angrily throw the cigarette on the floor, stomping on it, and glare at him, feeling all of your nerves heating up with the familiar anger only Namjoon is able to ignite. “Fuck off, Namjoon."

“What? Am I lying?” He shrugs, the shadow of a mocking smirk on his lips. “Where is he right now? Passed out in some corner of the house?”

Anger immediately bubbles up within you, heating your cold body in a second. You roll your eyes, exhaling heavily, as you take the purse from over the roof again. “Don’t even know why I’m wasting my time with you anyways…”

You’re about to walk away from him - but Namjoon acts quicker.

He places his arm on the car roof, blocking your way; you feel his body close to you. Close enough for you to feel waves of heat emanating from his body, but still not touching you. Dangerously close.

You freeze in place.

You look up at him, surprised at his sudden movement… only to be met by the hooded gaze you’re very familiar with. The gaze that makes immediate goosebumps roam your skin. 

He lowers his head a little bit to speak closer to your ear. Adrenaline starts to make your heart race. You remember how you always loved how tall he is, how he towers over you, how he had to lower his head to kiss you, or you’d have to tiptoe to reach his lips, how easily he could lift you up in his arms.

You remember and you gulp.

“You’re wrong, Y/N.” His voice is quiet and deep and shit he’s talking like that, he’s talking with that voice that means I want you right here and right now, and heat spreads through your body with that alone. “I never made you waste your time. I wouldn’t leave you alone… not when you look like this.”

He licks his lips slowly, looking you up and down. You can’t move. Your breath hitches. 

You should’ve flinched or pushed him away when he leans his face closer to your neck, but you can’t. Not because you’re scared. Because a part of you is so used to this - the proximity, the heat - that you cannot react at all.

Namjoon closes his eyes for a moment and smirks.

“You’re using it. The perfume I gave you.” You widen your eyes, unconsciously putting your hand in the back of your neck, as you feel your cheeks burn. “So… you didn’t really forget me.”

You frown, once again getting defensive. “It’s just a perfume. It means nothing.”

Namjoon tilts his head. “It scares me how similar we are.”

“What?” But you shouldn’t have asked what, because you know Namjoon - and if you give him a single cue, he’ll use it. You should’ve cut the conversation short, but you didn’t.

“You’ve been lying to yourself all this time, too.”

Your jaw drops. You stare back at him, feeling anger bubbling in your chest again. “You think you know me so well, right, Namjoon? If you knew me so well, we’d still be together.”

“No. We’re not together because we know each other too well.” You hate this. You hate how right he is. Namjoon has always been extremely smart about everything, quick to analyze any situation he’s in. And yes, you used to hate how he would analyze your feelings as if you’re a thing, not a person. 

You roll your eyes and cross your arms over your chest. “What do you want with this, huh, Namjoon? Are you trying to get into another argument?”

And then he’s smirking again - the sight of his dimples appearing making you feel weak.

“I kind of am. You know I like when you’re angry at me.”

You avoid his gaze, feeling that heat spread from your cheeks to your neck, but Namjoon tilts his head to the side, trying to keep eye contact with you. “Namjoon, let me go.”

“I’m not holding you, baby. Not even touching you.”

Baby. 

Your legs feel even weaker at the familiar pet name. It’s been so long since you heard this…

Shit shit shit shit shit.

“You can walk away if you want… but you don’t want to, right?” He chuckles darkly. 

“Namjoon, for fuck’s sake…” You put your hand over his muscular chest, pushing him away slightly, as you look around with worry. “Mark’s friends are literally right there. What if someone sees us?”

“Oh. So you’re worried about getting caught, not that your boyfriend is passed out somewhere, not having a clue that you’re here with me… interesting.”

“Stop putting words in my mouth!” You tighten your fists. “What do you want, huh, Namjoon? Is this how you try to make up with me?”

Namjoon eyes you seriously, jaw clenched - and again, you feel that you can’t breathe.

“I don’t want to make up with you.” His quiet, gravely voice echoes within your stomach. “I want to fuck you.”

You shiver.

Even after five months, your body never forgot him. How shameless and obscene he is with his words. How easy it is for him to get you worked up. It’s like his deep sultry voice is already stripping you down, even if he didn’t even touch you.

"T-That's not happening." But your voice doesn't sound as firm as you wanted it to sound, and your heart is beating fast, certainly not because you're angry… and you already feel the very familiar heat between your legs despite the chilly night.

Namjoon clenches his jaw and lowers his head again, his face dangerously close to your ear.

"I miss you so bad, baby." Your fists unconsciously tighten. Your chest heavens as your breathing gets deeper. His voice is serious and deep and quiet and pleading. You press your thighs on one another. "Shit… look at you. Every guy's been checking you out all night… but you're with the one that cares the least about you."

"Shut up." You finally look back at him, anger making you frown. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Really?" He quirks one eyebrow up. "I don't know? Baby, I wouldn't waste my time getting drunk. You know that, right? If you were with me… shit…" he chuckles darkly. "Everyone in that goddamn party would be listening to you screaming my name right now." 

"Namjoon..." You try to say in a warning tone, but your body doesn't agree with your brain; the warmth spreading from your face to your neck to your intimacy, the fast beating of your heart, the way your lips are slightly parted, how your body is literally melting.

"Those pretty lips of yours around my cock…" He closes his eyes for a moment, slowly getting closer to you - and you can't move away. "You always take me so well, baby…"

"Namjoon." You try again, but it seems that he's is having a lot of fun with your reactions. He licks his lips and smirks.

"Tell me, Y/N�� is this… Mark… treating you well?" Your body freezes and melts at the same time when his large hand rests on your waist. "Is he fucking you good the way you like? The way you deserve?" Holy shit - you can barely breathe. "Does he put you on your fours the way you like it? Can he fuck you all night the way I do?"

He's leaning closer, eyes glued to your lips.

Your own gaze drops to his lips, too.

Then, you remember that you're on the sidewalk, four houses down the street from where your boyfriend and his friends are - and it snaps you back to reality.

You step away from him, yanking his hand off your waist. "Fuck off!"

You press the purse close to your body and walk away with firm and quick steps without looking back.

Your heartbeat thunders inside your ribcage, your mouth is dry; even your fingers shake slightly, the chilly breeze does little to refresh your high inner temperature. You shouldn't have talked to him. You should've walked away from him straight away. Why did you let his sultry voice get to your ears and down to your already throbbing core? You were absolutely right; you're not strong enough to face him, not at all.

Because you also miss him badly.

You miss his grip on you and his tongue on you and you miss his taste in your mouth, you miss feeling him deep inside your throat and then deep inside your cunt, stretching you and filling you up like no one else can - not even Mark. 

You miss him so bad that your legs are already wobbly, even though he just touched your waist. You miss him so bad that it's hard to fake the crazed look in your eyes and to hold a smile when you get back inside the house, once again trying your best to pass imperceptible by everyone, trying not to engage in any conversation. The loud music and yelling bothers your ears, having to squeeze yourself between bodies and more bodies annoys you. It doesn't help that you don't know almost anyone in this house, mostly your fault, because your bad mood didn't let you socialize the way you usually would.

You just march to the second floor, towards the room Mark is sleeping in. You have to anchor your senses again; being anywhere near him will make you go insane. You need to remind yourself that this is the party your current boyfriend brought you to, the boyfriend you like very much, the guy that treats you well and is obviously in love with you. Namjoon is your past, Mark is your present. You can't hurt his feelings like that. 

You can't.

You can't.

But your body can't lie, either.

Because when you're about to hold the doorknob to Mark's room, you feel a familiar grip on your elbow. You do not fight this grip as it quickly pulls you inside the next guest room, and you do not flinch as the door is swiftly closed shut and your body is pressed against it, and you are not surprised when the light is turned on and you face Namjoon.

You do not push him away when his lips clash on yours.

The kiss tastes like tobacco; your senses are overwhelmed by his perfume, the one he knows you love. Namjoon doesn't try to be gentle or slow because he knows you don't like it. His tongue entangles in yours, one hand grips the hair at the back of your head while the other squeezes your ass, making you moan within the kiss. You grip his hair as well, the other arm going around his shoulders, as you tiptoe, kissing him back eagerly.

You're panting and your chest heavens as you finally break the kiss for a moment. Your mind is clouded by his perfume and his hands and his mouth, now leaving wet kisses on your neck, sucking on it softly and making you whimper. 

"N-Namjoon…" you try to call his attention, but it's too late; your voice is breathy and whiny in the way that makes him go insane. "We shouldn't…"

It's ridiculous that you're saying this as his hands are on you and his mouth is on you and every inch of your body is screaming for him. This is wrong - this is nasty, ugly, unacceptable. Your boyfriend is sleeping in the room next to this. His friends are downstairs. Yes, you are well aware of all that. 

And still - you don't push him away. You don't want him to stop.

"Yes, we shouldn't." His voice is also breathy. He kisses your lips eagerly again. "But you want this, Y/N. And I want it, too. Fuck, I need you, baby…" He presses his body against you strongly, and you feel his clothed erection against your stomach; it's enough to make your mouth water. He passes his tongue on your bottom slip slowly, before kissing you again; your legs are already weakened by this action. "Need you around me… I know you want this, too, baby… let me fuck you good, just this last time…"

Your breath comes out shaky when his hand lifts your tight dress up to your hips to squeeze your ass. As one arm circles around your waist, the other hand that was on your ass shamelessly travels to rest over your panties, his palm pressing on your warm pussy. He caresses your intimacy, making you moan quietly and unconsciously buck your hips with the movement of his hand. Namjoon smirks and hums, hypnotized by the way you bite your bottom lip, these begging eyes he knows so well.

"You're always so ready for me, baby… look at how wet you already are..." he chuckles darkly, sending shivers down your spine. He presses his palm more firmly on your clit, making you let out a slightly louder moan, closing your eyes for a moment. He pushes your jacket away with his other hand, letting a trail of kisses on your shoulder. "But I can stop if you want to…"

"No." You blurt out in a pleading voice, once again making him smirk. "Don't you dare stop."

Yes - you are very well aware of how wrong this is.

You are very well aware that guilt will crush you later.

But right now, you decide to shut everything else but him. All of your problems and guilts and regrets stand out of this room, waiting to greet you as soon as you walk out. They're distant and muffled, just like the loud music downstairs, asleep just like your drunk boyfriend, barely a wall away from you.

You decide to ignore all of that. 

What exists right now is Namjoon and your insatiable lust.

Your hand searches for the key and you turn it, locking the door. 

"Why you gotta do this to me, Namjoon?" You whine in a pleading voice, before holding his face with both hands and forcing him to kiss you - which he reciprocates eagerly. "Why… why you gotta make my life so difficult?"

He bites your bottom lip and chuckles. "I already said… I love it when you're mad at me." His palm keeps pressing on your intimacy, making circular movements over your clit, and you purr in delight, throwing your head back. "And you love it too, don't you, baby? I know you too well… You’re so nasty for me.”

“Shit…” You curse under your breath, feeling your inner temperature increase each second. You grab the fabric of the jacket on his shoulders and start to buck your hips on his hand more frantically. “Shit, I need you inside of me…” 

Namjoon growls on your ear and presses your body against the door with his own, forcing you to stop bucking your hips. “Not so soon, baby. This won’t be quick. It’s been five months… I’m gonna take my time with you.” He kisses you, and when he leans away, there’s the smirk again. “I will make you come good, baby… but first, let me fuck this pretty mouth of yours, will you?”

Excitement bubbles up within you, and you bite your bottom lip, nodding. The things Namjoon makes you do… it’s like you become a different person around him when you two have sex. 

He takes his hand off your pussy and you immediately miss his touch, but you know it’ll be worth it later. “Take this shit off, I want to see you.” He growls, grabbing the collar of your jacket and rather aggressively making you take it off, throwing it on the floor with your purse. That smirk of approval… it’s enough to make you  press your thighs together again. “Fuck, how can that guy not want to fuck your brains out when you look so delicious in this dress?”

You feel a glimpse of discomfort at Namjoon’s words - you don’t want to be reminded of Mark, of how ugly your actions are, or you’ll want to stop. But he doesn’t give you time to think too much about it, because his hand rests at the top of your head and he looks into your eyes darkly.

“On your knees.”

You smirk, obeying him without complaints. You keep intense eye contact as Namjoon works on his belt, finally freeing his hardened member from his boxers - and your mouth immediately waters. He’s so big. Your pussy throbs in anticipation, at the mere thought that soon, his thick and veiny cock will be slamming inside of you after five months. 

“Let me see if you still remember how to do it.” He says in a challenging tone, cocking one eyebrow up and smirking, and you have to gulp at the sight of him grabbing his own cock, pumping it up and down slowly. 

"Of course I do." You say, batting your lashes prettily at him. "I'm the only one that can take you."

Namjoon chuckles, but his chuckle dies in a hiss when you hold his shaft with one hand and lick the tip like a kitty, never breaking eye contact. He lets a deep grunt when your lips wrap around the tip, sucking it gently like it is the sweetest lollipop. He closes his eyes momentarily and tilts his head to the side, face contorting in pleasure.

"You're so hot, baby…" you would've smirked if you didn't have the tip of his dick in your mouth - and the sight makes Namjoon desperate to have more of you. He grabs the hair at the top of your head and yanks you off his cock, and yes, it's painful - but you're used to it. You've been missing it. "Open your mouth."

Once again, you obey him. Namjoon shoves his dick into your open mouth all the way down your throat; you choke, sinking your nails on the flesh of your thighs. You sucked him off more times than you can count, but you never quite got used to how truly big he is. Namjoon pushes inside as much as possible making you tighten your eyes and gag. It's uncomfortable. But it's alright. You can take him.

Namjoon lets out a deep moan and bites his bottom lip. "You look so pretty with my cock inside your mouth…" his deep voice travels all the way to your wet core, and you tighten your cunt around nothing. His strong grip on your hair keeps your head in place as he starts to thrust in and out. You grunt around his dick, the vibrations sending waves of pleasure all throughout Namjoon's body. He pants with his mouth open, licking his lips, hissing and letting deep moans that resonate in you. "You missed it too, right, Y/N? You look so hungry right now, taking me like the big girl you are…"

Again, he sees the hint of a smirk on your lips and the mischief in your eyes, and he knows you would've said something if you could. 

You tighten your lips around his dick, sucking as he thrusts deep down your throat, making him throw his head back in pleasure. You have tears in the corners of your eyes, but his face contorted in delight is worth it. He digs his nails in your scalp, pushing your head into his dick as he thrusts; he's being rougher than usual, it's getting difficult to breathe. 

As if he's some sort of telepath, Namjoon takes his dick off your mouth and you gasp for air; a streak of saliva connects your lips to the tip. The sight of your hooded eyes, parted and swollen lips glinting with saliva is so absurdly sensual that Namjoon has to take a deep breath, controlling himself not to blow his load already.

"It seems that you really forgot how to do it, huh?" He says with mischief. "What? Your boyfriend's cock can't reach that deep inside your throat?"

You click your tongue, feeling a spark of anger within you when Namjoon cites Mark again. "Fuck you." 

He chuckles, very much pleased to see how easy it is to irk you up - but again, his voice stumbles into a grunt when you wrap your lips around his tip without warning, sucking it eagerly. You grab his shaft with one hand and it glides easily across it, thanks to your saliva. Though the music from outside is still loud, your ears are only filled with the wet noise your hand gliding on him produces, sucking noises, and Namjoon's grunts and hisses of pleasure.

A streak of curses leaves his mouth as you start to take more and more of him relentlessly. Once again, he grips your scalp strongly, shoving your head into his dick as he thrusts. You gag and whimper, and it only increases Namjoon’s arousal. You can already see the glint of sweat on his forehead and neck.

"Shit, Y/N, shit-" he grunts, once again throwing his head back. He then locks his gaze with yours, watching as you swallow him eagerly. "Fuck, I want to cum all over your face. Ruin your makeup and hair… so when you walk back to Mark, he's gonna know what we did here."

Stop talking about him!, you want to yell. I don't want to remember he's in the next room!

The feral glare you send him, the sight of his dick in all its length inside your mouth, the thin layer of sweat on your forehead, the drool on the corner of your lips - it’s almost too much for him. “Stop, baby, stop.” Namjoon clicks his tongue, yanking your head away from his cock. 

You groan and gulp, never once breaking eye contact. You lick your lips slowly and smirk mischievously as you clean the corner of your mouth with your thumb. “What? Am I too much for you to handle?”

“Get up.” He orders impatiently, and you do so in an instant. His lips clash on yours again in a sloppy, heated kiss, his hand grabbing the hair at the back of your head tightly. “I’m gonna fuck you now.”

You smile as excitement bubbles at the pit of your stomach. Contrary to what you thought he would do - carry you to the bed, he places his hands on your waist and spins you around, so now your back is facing him. You grunt as he roughly presses you against the door, keeping you trapped between it and his muscular body. 

Looking over your shoulder, you watch as he takes his jacket off and throws it on the floor, eyes glued to your ass. Purring, you arch your back to him, as both palms rest on the door for support. In a swift movement, he grabs the hem of your panty and slides it down your legs.

“Ah… so pretty. So pretty, baby…” He compliments darkly, caressing your ass and squeezing it. You gasp when, unexpectedly, he lands a hard slap on one of the cheeks. It burns, and you close your eyes tightly on instinct. Namjoon chuckles and licks his lips. He presses his body against yours, and you feel his cock against your ass.

“How much do you want me, hm, Y/N?” He asks in a low voice with his lips on your ear. He kisses the bit of skin where your jaw meets your neck and licks it. Your pussy throbs and tightens around nothing as you feel him bucking his hips on you, caressing your ass with his cock, moaning with the back of his throat. The sound makes you purr and bite your bottom lip. 

“Namjoon, stop teasing me,” you whine, making him chuckle once again. “Just fuck me already.”

“You want me to fuck you, baby?” He kisses your shoulder tenderly. “Is that what you want?”

You forget what you were going to say as you feel his hand traveling to your front, between your legs, to touch your clit in slow, circular movements, at the same time the other hand grabs your breast over the dress, squeezing it with care. “You… hmm… you said… you were going to fuck me.”

“Yes, but I don’t think you’re needy enough.” He keeps humping his hardened dick on your ass, all the while his hand moves on your clit way slower than you’d like. “You’re not too proud to beg, are you, Y/N?”

You look at him angrily from over your shoulder, but when he adds a little more pressure on your clit, your complaint is choked in a moan that escapes from your lips. You tighten your fists, closing your eyes tightly, as the circular movement gets faster, sending waves of pleasure through your body. You bite your bottom lip, purposefully pressing your ass against his member, making him groan quietly. 

“I haven't even started yet, but look at how loud you are.” Namjoon chuckles and bites your earlobe lightly. 

“Namjoon,” you meow his name in such a way that has him closing his eyes for a moment. “N-Need you inside of me.”

“Hmm?” He presses your clit even harder, making you moan and throw your head back, resting it on his shoulder. Namjoon’s evil smirk widens. “Didn’t hear you, babe.”

“Please. Please. I’ve been missing it so much.” You cry, having no idea of how hard you’re stroking his ego with those words. Yes, he was right - you’re not too proud to beg when it comes to sex. Namjoon hums in approval, leaving a surprisingly tender kiss on your cheek.

“I’ll give you what you want, baby… you deserve it. You always do.”

Your whole body shakes in anticipation when he takes his hand off your clit. Namjoon spits on his hand, and you moan lightly as you feel him pressing it on your folds, mixing it with your juices. “You got a condom?” He asks. You shake your head frantically.

“Don’t. I want to feel you.” He tilts his head and quirks one eyebrow up, not even bothered by your request. You’re always on the pill anyway. Yes, maybe you’re being reckless, but you really want to feel him as he is.

“As you wish.”

You shiver as he holds your hips firmly with both hands, and you open your palms on the door again for support. Your pussy is already throbbing when you feel him position his dick on your entrance. 

You cry out in pleasure when he finally penetrates you.

The stretch feels so amazing that your legs almost lose all of their strength. You close your eyes tightly, eyebrows knitted, mouth opened. 

He grunts with the back of his throat in a way that makes you even weaker. “All the way, baby?”

You nod frantically, opening your eyes for a moment to see him over your shoulder. “Yes. Yes. Please.”

He chuckles and licks his lips, eyes focused on the sight of his cock halfway inside of you. “You’re so desperate tonight.”

He does exactly what you asked.

It’s like the air is knocked out of your lungs. You’re unable to muffle the moan that escapes from your lips when he puts everything inside, balls deep in. You clench around him, making Namjoon moan as well and throw his head back; the sight of his parted lips, closed eyes and Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows mesmerizes you. It doesn’t matter how many times you fucked - it was never not amazing. Every nerve in your body yells in pure pleasure. Words can't describe how much you've been missing him inside of you; your body never forgot, always tight for him, always ready to accommodate him.

"Fuck- you feel amazing…" he says in a breathy voice that makes you melt. "You were right, baby… no one can take me like you can." He thrusts for the first time, making you squeak and bite your bottom lip at the delicious friction the girth of his member produces against your velvet walls. He thrusts again and again, grunting at each movement, making you see stars. You hear his low chuckle which makes more goosebumps roam your skin. "L-Look at you right now… I didn't even begin yet, Y/N. Are you going to cum already?" He chuckles again. "Guess I was right… your boyfriend hasn't been treating you that well, since you're so desperate for me…"

"Shut up." You eye him again over your shoulder, trying your best to look annoyed, but it's hard to do so when his dick is this deep inside of you. "Stop talking… just fuck me."

You see a glimpse of annoyance in his eyes as, out of sudden, he growls and picks a much faster and stronger pace; you whimper in surprise when he presses his forearm against the back of your neck, sticking your cheek against the door, keeping your back incredibly arched. You pant with your mouth opened, obscene moans unconsciously escaping, each thrust of his sending shockwaves of pleasure to every piece of your body, making the tiny hairs of your arms rise. Fuck, you've always loved when he went rough you on; sometimes, you'd even purposefully argue with him over the stupidest things, just because you knew that making up with him meant he would let his emotions loose with angry sex. You loved to be bitten and slapped and choked by him - even if you'd be sore the next morning, it was always worth it. 

"You know," he growls in a deep and breathy voice without slowing his pace even once. "It's funny how you get angry and want to defend him while I'm dicking you down. Such a protective girlfriend." 

"N-Namjoon-" you try to speak, but your voice dies in a strangled moan. Namjoon smirks. Your ears are filled with both your breathy voices of pleasure, his pelvis smacking against your ass, the squelching noises his dick coming in and out of you produces, and- and-

Your ear is pressed against the door. You can hear the voices out there in the hallway beyond the loud music. 

"If you moan a little louder, they will hear you, too." Namjoon says as if he just read your mind. "Is that what you want, Y/N?" You bite your bottom lip, trying to shut your voice, but it's almost painful to keep quiet when he's fucking you so hard.  "N-Not that I would mind… you have such a pretty voice, baby… I love it when you cry for me…" 

You roll your eyes in pleasure, feeling your sanity running thin. Your moans sound more like painful strangled whimpers now as you desperately try to not make much noise, which only increases Namjoon’s arousal. There’s just something about you - the way you so shamelessly display your pleasure - that simply doesn’t compare to anything he had experienced with anyone else. He loves to make you feel good. He loves your face contorted in pleasure, when you’re desperate and begging for release.

“Fuck-” you say in a tired and tiny voice that almost causes the same effect on him as the feeling of your cunt tightening around his member. “Fuck- you’re s-so big-”

Namjoon smirks again. He always knows when you’re close. He could tease you a bit and deny your orgasm, but he’s been missing you so much and your moans sound so good that he can’t bring himself to be so cruel. “Are you going to cum for me, baby?” You nod frantically again, eyes closed, lips parted.

“Yes… p-please, don’t stop… f-feel so good…” you don’t have any control of the words coming out of your mouth anymore, your mind way too drowned in pleasure to think straight. 

His forearm leaves the back of your neck and he holds your hips tightly again, keeping the exact same pace you need to reach your high. You tighten your fists again, feeling your legs lose strength and every nerve in your body going haywire the closest you get to your orgasm. The slick arousal drips from your inner thighs, sweat covers your forehead, neck and chest; you hear the voices of the people talking literally on the other side of the door, the loud music, Namjoon grunting, you feel the fire building up and spreading through you, you feel his cock coming in and out of you, reaching deep, the glorious friction it produces every time-

Namjoon stops moving and keeps his member buried in you as you orgasm, throwing your head back, your convulsing body, your eyes turned in pleasure. You’re barely even breathing. He holds your hips tightly, taking a moment to catch his breath. The way you’re so tightly clenched around him makes him close his eyes and sigh in pleasure.

He waits until you calm down a bit.

He’s not done with you yet.

You’re taken by surprise when you feel him pulling his dick out and suddenly wrapping his arms around your waist. Namjoon sticks his chest to your back and lifts you up, easily walking towards the bed. He practically throws you over it and you bounce on the soft mattress, causing you to giggle tiredly. It makes him smile, too - but at the same time, it’s like an arrow has trespassed his heart, because if you giggle and look happy like that, it makes him remember when you were together and everything was okay.

Namjoon stands at the edge of the bed. His dick is still standing tall, glistering with your juices. 

“Suck it.” He orders. The way you smirk and crawl on your fours towards him with eyes glued on his member makes him feel goosebumps. You don’t complain - your hand simply holds his shaft again and then your lips are wrapped around it. Namjoon hisses and throws his head back. You don’t waste any time, taking more of him inside your mouth, bobbing your head across his length, sucking him eagerly. The taste of your own arousal doesn’t bother you. 

Namjoon rests his hand on the top of your head, gently massaging your scalp instead of gripping it, which makes you somehow smile. “I-I missed this every fucking day… you have no idea…” 

You take his cock out of your mouth for a moment, just to look up at him and smirk. “I think I do.” You lick the tip again, making him hiss and close his eyes momentarily. Namjoon watches, completely mesmerized, as you keep sucking him. He thinks you’re so absurdly pretty, it’s almost unreal.

Namjoon grunts at some point and the fingers that were caressing your hair now are gripping it, once again yanking you away from his cock. You look up at him with round, confused eyes. “What? I thought you wanted to come in my mouth.” He smiles and shakes his head. How can you fake that innocent voice so well? 

He holds your forearm and makes you get on your knees; delicately puts some loose strands of hair behind your ear before kissing you. As your lips move, you feel his hand search for the zipper on your back. He zips the dress down and leans away so you can lift your arms for him to fully take the dress off. 

Namjoon smiles at the sight of your breasts covered in the black lace bra. He always loved when you wore lace lingerie - especially black; once again, it’s like both of you knew you’d be here, and purposefully chose your outfits based on each other’s tastes. He kisses you again, massaging both of your breasts at the same time, earning soft moans from you. 

He leans away. His hooded eyes make you shiver. “I’m not done with you yet.” He says quietly.

His hand rests on your chest and he pushes you delicately, making you sit. You keep propped up on your elbows, watching as he parts your legs. Namjoon licks his lips and smiles. “You’re dripping, baby.”

You hiss, toes curling, as he massages your clit again. Your nerves are still so sensitive from the previous orgasm, but at the same time, this pain feels good - so you just grip the sheets and bite your bottom lip, not wanting him to stop. His hand gets wet immediately - you are dripping indeed - and you gasp when suddenly, Namjoon inserts his ring and middle finger inside of you. Your walls immediately clench around them, having not recovered fully yet. Namjoon knows it. That’s why he moves his fingers inside of you slowly.

You throw your head back, gulping. “P-Put it in.” You stutter. 

Namjoon nods, feeling all of his body shudder in anticipation. He takes his fingers out of you and holds your hips yet again. Instead of easing himself in at once, he glides his cock on your folds, humping slowly, causing both of you to moan. Finally, he puts it all in; you’re so wet that he simply slides in, making both of you moan at the same time.

It’s like your entire body is burning in flames as Namjoon starts to thrust, although slower this time. You analyze his features - face covered in sweat, jaw clenched tightly, an expression that almost looks like pain - and you wonder how much longer he can take. You want him to come, too; you can imagine how desperate he must be to get his release. Even so, he doesn’t go that hard from the beginning, aware of your sensitivity.

“Joon,” you call in that sensual voice that ignites every nerve in his body. You didn’t even realize that you just called him by the nickname. “I want you to cum for me, too.”

He looks at you without stopping his movements. “However I want, baby?”

You nod. “However you want.”

Namjoon tilts his head and pulls out suddenly. “On your fours.”

You smile, immediately doing as he asked; you turn around on fours, arch your back for him, ass up, your chest touches the mattress. You look over your shoulder and see Namjoon kneeling on the bed, eyes glued on your dripping entrance, so stretched and so exposed for him. He licks his lips and squeezes your ass before slapping it, sending jolts of pain down your legs. “You’re being such a good girl to me, Y/N… doing everything I ask.” He grips your hips and pulls in balls deep, making you whimper and bite your bottom lip. From the start, he picks a faster pace than before, completely focused on getting his release. Your whole body shakes and you grip the sheets tightly, trying your best to muffle your moans on the mattress, but it’s pretty impossible; you can just thank that the music out there is loud enough to disguise the obscene sounds coming from this bedroom.

Which makes you remember, for a single second, the image of a sleeping Mark next door.

But Namjoon’s cock inside of you overwhelms any guilt to take you over.

He groans and slaps your ass hard again, earning a gasp and a loud moan you can’t hold back. “Who else can fuck you like this, huh, Y/N?” He growls. “Who else can fill you up like this?”

“No one!” Shit - you might regret the things stumbling from your mouth later, but right now, your mind is so clouded by pleasure that you can’t stop to think of the things you’re saying. “O-Only you… you fuck me so good, Joon-” you squeak in pain when he slaps your ass again. “Don’t fucking stop!”

He’s so deep inside of you; with this position, he can easily hit your sweet spot - and he keeps hitting it mercilessly. You hear him chuckling mischievously. “You’re about to cum again, baby?”

You don’t answer this time, unable to form any coherent word anymore, just vulgar sounds coming from you instead. Bliss shadows your thoughts and senses, you can’t care about anything but his strong grip on your hips and his thick cock hitting deep inside of you over and over and over again, restless, ruthless, in that way only him can do, only him knows how you like. Your walls are so clenched that Namjoon feels about to explode. Yet, he doesn’t stop thrusting while you orgasm, convulsing around him, trembling and weak; it’s like your vision fades for a moment, all you can see is white. He doesn’t stop, he doesn’t slow his pace.

You’re forced to open your eyes and gasp when you feel his fingers brushing your clit.

“Namjoon, I- I already came-” you try to speak, but electricity runs through your system as his quick motions over your clit makes you wail.

“Come with me, baby,” he says mischievously, panting. “I know you can take it.”

Your eyes widen, you grab the sheets even harder as fingers work on your clit nonstop, all the while his cock keeps smacking inside of you again and again and again. You gasp for air, desperate and overcharged; you want to flinch away from his restless touch on your clit, but at the same time, the overstimulation feels so painful and so sweet that you can’t ask him to stop; you haven’t calmed down from your orgasm and you feel your pleasure levels increasing at a fast pace again.

A streak of curses leaves Namjoon’s mouth; you’re so incredibly tight and hot, it’s like he’s going insane. You squirm and cry out when the third orgasm in a row hits; tears form in the corner of your eyes, your body yells desperately after so much stimulation in such a short period. Your knees barely have any strength to them, you don’t how much longer you can keep your ass up. Yet, almost at the same time, Namjoon feels his own high hitting. He takes his hand off your clit and pulls out of you, holding his cock as he cums all over your ass and back, pumping it until he’s milked dry.

He flops by your side on the bed, staring at the ceiling with tired eyes.

You can barely even open your eyes. Your whole body is trembling and sweating. You’re so tired that you could honestly just sleep right here, in this position. 

But you can’t.

Because, as you recover your breathing, as your heartbeat falls at a normal pace again, as arousal slowly fades from your mind and your body gets cold, you’re slowly reminded of the situation you put yourself in.

And it immediately starts to weigh.

You open your eyes to focus on Namjoon.

He’s still staring at the ceiling, covered in sweat, his t-shirt glued to his body. He licks his lips and gulps in a serious, thoughtful expression.

That’s not how it used to be.

Five months ago, after he fucked you hard like this, Namjoon would hug you tight. You’d smile at each other, you’d giggle at something silly one of you would say. You’d both walk to the bathroom to take a good shower. You’d wear one of his shirts, he’d blow your hair with the hairdryer, and you’d go to sleep in each other’s arms.

But Namjoon’s not your boyfriend anymore. Your break up was messy due to your already messy and broken relationship. At some point, sex was all you had, was all you could enjoy in each other’s company. Any talking led to fights. Namjoon was right - you know each other so well that you simply couldn’t stand each other anymore.

You still can’t.

This didn’t change.

You realize that when Namjoon looks back at you, and everything you can see in his eyes is sadness and resentment. Your bond is way too broken. Things will never be the same as they were.

Quietly, he gets up from bed and walks towards the bathroom (you didn’t even realize this guest room has a bathroom). He comes back with a few tissues in hand. Without uttering a word, he wipes out his cum from your ass and back. Still trembling, you get up from bed, taking your panties from the ground and putting it back on as Namjoon adjusts his pants. Music still pumps out there. Chatting. Yelling. Inside this bedroom is dead silent, though.

He zips your dress up without you needing to ask. It’s like you can’t look at each other anymore.

“I’ll walk out first.” He says quietly after a while. You just nod, sitting on the edge of the bed again, still feeling your whole body weakened.

Namjoon takes the jacket from the floor and throws it over his shoulder. He puts his hand over the doorknob and looks at you again.

Words can’t really explain what you’re feeling right now. Embarrassment. Guilt. Sadness. Everything is mixed with your stunt nerves, steaming hot inside of your chest, as the ugliness of what you just did starts to sink in.

Yes, you like Mark. You really do.

But you loved Namjoon. You loved him for three years - and five months weren’t enough to completely destroy these feelings for him. 

Despite this… you know that any new attempt at a relationship with him will lead to nothing but more hurt, more than your heart can bear. You don’t want to bleed for him anymore. You just want… peace.

Although your actions tonight will bring you anything but peace.

“I still have the same number.” He says, eyeing you seriously. “When you get tired of playing with that boy… you know who to call.”

You shiver.

Namjoon walks out, closing the door again.

Your anesthetized body can’t let you cry, even if you really want to. You just sit here, staring blankly at the carpet, until twenty minutes have passed and you feel safe enough to walk out… to the bedroom next door, where your boyfriend still lays asleep. You can’t even stand to look at him, ashamed, as if the walls of that bedroom have eyes and have witnessed your betrayal, as if the Universe around is judging you.

You sit at the edge of the bed, gripping your knees. 

Your bond with Namjoon is broken - and you might’ve broken your bond with Mark, too. 

But how could you fight Namjoon’s gravitational pull, when he’s the indisputable center of your personal galaxy - no matter how hard you try to deny it?

You jump, startled, feeling Mark’s sudden touch on your wrist. You look down at his half asleep figure, his eyes barely opened. “Y/N…?” 

“Y-Yes?” You gulp.

Mark smiles.

“I love you.”

Being shot in the heart would’ve hurt less.

You nod, blinking the incoming tears away. Your mouth tastes like iron. Your chest weighs tons. Namjoon’s face still rewinds in your mind over and over again, even though he already left, leaving you weakened and trembling and cold and empty.

Mark won’t remember anything tomorrow morning.

Only these walls witness your terrible lie.

“I love you, too.”

[dream2bu]

Worth reading…both men and women…

By Talya Eidelman

For all women.

I am woman. Don’t tell me who I am. I have known ever since the world was created. Don’t tell me what to feel or how to behave.

I am woman. Don’t try and teach me about the old ways that should have been dead a long time ago.

I am woman. Do you know anything about my body? It houses the world and it is the wisest thing on this planet.

I am woman. Don’t try and tell me that suffering is weak when the reason that you exist is because I suffered giving birth to you.

You are here because of my ability to suffer.

I am woman. Somedays I cannot eat or sleep as the power, wisdom and truth of the new world pours into me as my vision and mission becomes crystal clear. Then again this is a world where most people hardly eat and don’t even have beds on which to sleep.

I am woman.That means I can no longer be silent. It means my voice has arrived and like a raging fire and a thunder it will be heard across galaxies.

I am woman and I am tired and angry. Don’t go and confuse anger with weakness or malice or a lack of inner peace. My anger is rage and my rage has turned into power. I have lived lifetimes voiceless, suppressed and yet I was the one who always knew the truth. That may take a while to get over.

I am woman. I have lived many lives and each time the secrets of the world had to die with me. But not this life… This life I will apologise for nothing. This life I am here to be seen, heard and live out loud.

I am woman. Don’t tell me what to do. I have heard too many opinions from indoctrinated and suppressed voices. ‘You can’t change the world’ or ‘don’t take on others suffering, it doesn’t belong to you’. WHAT OTHER? ‘The other’ lives in me. Everyone belongs to me and every cell in me is every human out there.

Do you know who I am? I mean do you have any idea?

I am woman. Don’t teach me about God. Don’t preach to me about a God that exists outside of me. A God who punishes or expects anything. Don’t teach me about a God who loves conditionally and wants us to be good and obedient. Don’t teach me about your patriarchal God that has left the world in a state of desperate anxiety and confusion.

I am woman. That means I am a mystic. I am the dark force of the feminine. I am the manifestation of my womb. I am the crone, the wolf and the lioness. I am The Goddess.

I am woman. I know exactly how powerful I am and what I am here to do. Don’t come with your limitations and false beliefs, unless you have brought them forth to die in my fire. Don‘t teach me about humility out of fear that I may become too powerful and not domesticated enough.

I am woman. I am wherever the water is stagnant and where a change needs to be made. You will find me where there is pain and anguish and you will watch me cry and scream for the people.

I am woman. I am not looking to create comfort or peace. I look to destroy the old world and shake things up to the point where human beings come alive and this is a world of awakened, passionate, loving and powerful people. That is what creates peace on earth!

I am woman. I am so sexually powerful that you have become afraid of me and so you call me a whore and a tease and arrogant. I laugh at your labels and yet my heart aches for you.

Don’t you see that my power is the very thing that births yours? You have not really awakened unless you have awakened through a woman.

I am woman and the world has been waiting for me. Waiting in desperation for me to break my chains so that I may come and free you from yours.

I am woman. I answer to no one and nothing other than my instincts and to whatever feels natural. I do not fit into a mould and I live life my way. I break the rules of conformity and I do nothing in an ordinary or orderly fashion.

I am woman. Destruction is my way.

I am woman. My freedom is not dependent on your opinions of me or your limited understanding of who I am. I do not wait for permission to be myself or use my voice. I do not think before I speak as my wisdom rushes out of me like a tsunami of water dying to feed the dessert that is the world.

Don’t tell me I can’t do it. Because I will. Because I am.

I am woman. I am Power, Sexuality, Darkness, Depth, Heart, Warrior and Animal.

I am the New Voice.

I am The Revolution.

I am God.

DEAL WITH IT.

[mostlycompetentwriter]

Wow, he’s hot

“Pairing: Fem!Reader x Seo Changbin (SKZ)

Word Count: 8K

Genre: Neighbors to Lovers? Lol

Warnings: Aged up characters (Changbin is ten years older than the reader), explicit sexual content, language, drinking

Summary: You were a fresh college graduate, returning home for the summer before starting a bright, shiny new position in the city, but you certainly weren’t expecting to fall hard for your neighbor. 

A/N: I hope at least one person gets my reference/pun at the end....But seriously? Oh, what have I done...

Your roommate was hungover again, dressed to the nines in a purple bathrobe and pink fluffy slippers as she attempted to move huge boxes of random shit between her bedroom and the foyer of your shared apartment. 

It was priceless entertainment, at least in your opinion, especially after witnessing your roommate in rare form the previous night dancing from one frat boy to the next, draining entire bottles of alcohol like she needed the liquid encouragement. 

From what you had observed, she was determined to embarrass you at all costs, and under normal circumstances, you could’ve avoided her rather inappropriate behavior in exchange for your regular hook-up, Joshua. But he decided to remain mysteriously absent for the entire evening, which meant that you had been stuck watching over your roommate, hoping that she wouldn’t get you kicked out again....

“I know what you’re thinking, Y/N,” Laura huffed, pausing next to the counter-top where you sat. “What did you expect? It was my last night of freedom before going back home.”

“Yeah,” you snorted. “It was mine too, but I wasn’t plastered face-down in the shower last night.”

“Whatever,” Laura grimaced. “Did you sign off on the lease yet?”

“I did it earlier,” you replied. 

“Our bitchy landlord’s been complaining all week,” Laura said. “I’m tired of her late-night phone calls, plus my mom’s been really annoying about the move.”

“Oh?” you questioned. “When is she coming?”

“In like an hour,” Laura huffed. “Why do you think I’m busting my ass to pack everything?”

“I don’t know,” you said. “Maybe you needed a distraction from thinking about puking in the bushes behind the frat house last night.”

“Oh, shut up about that!” Laura hissed, slapping your arm as you kept laughing. “Isn’t you brother coming tomorrow?”

“Ugh, yeah,” you groaned. “He said he has to come super early because of work, but my ass doesn’t start functioning until at least 8:00.”

“Well, at least tell Chan ‘hi’ for me,” Laura said, giggling like a love-struck teenager because she had been infatuated with your older brother for years.

“If I remember to tell him,” you grumbled, stretching out your arms and deciding that it might be useful for you to start packing as well, especially since the most you would be able to accomplish tomorrow morning at the ass crack of dawn is following Chan around the apartment in a zombie-like state as the two of you loaded your belongings into his car.

“Don’t forget that I’m coming to visit next week,” Laura said, and you perked up a little at the idea of having your friend come around, especially since the two of you had just graduated together and those long days and nights of being glued together at the hip were coming to a bittersweet end.

“Sounds good,” you agreed, checking your phone one last time to see a weird gif from Chan (as you had come to expect from him) before joining your roommate in packing up the remainder of your former college life.

Chan had always been prompt when it came to his familial obligations, and the two of you spent two hours loading all of your stuff into his car before starting the long drive to your old childhood home. A place that you hadn’t ventured to since leaving four years ago to start undergraduate school.

“Looks the same,” you remarked, sunglasses perched low on your nose as you allowed the window to roll down to take in some fresh air.

“What did you expect?” Chan asked, humming away to whatever shitty metal song he had playing over the radio.

In a totally random and last-minute decision, you had decided that for the next three summer months while you were stuck in an in-between phase, you were returning home for a while before you were set to move into a new apartment in the city close to where you would be working full-time. It seemed logical to save money, and there was a small part of you that did miss your family and old friends. 

Of course, despite Chan’s dismissal of your earlier nonchalant comment about the unchanging surroundings of your hometown, you were startled when you realized that the old house next door, which used to be occupied by an elderly couple until they moved away during your senior year of high school, was missing it’s familiar ‘for sale’ sign in the front yard, and there was a black Mustang in the driveway.

“Home sweet home,” Chan sighed when he stopped in the carport attached to your former two-story staccato, opening the door with a grumble. 

You frowned, following him around to the back of his car. “Someone bought the house next door?” you asked, dragging your eyes away from the sleek, shiny sports car to look at your brother.

Chan grunted as he heaved your suitcase from the trunk. “Yeah, they moved in last month. I think the owner is a lawyer and he lives there with his daughter.”

“Huh,” you remarked. “That house has been vacant for years.”

Chan shrugged. “Yeah, well, the guy who lives there now is really nice. Mom and dad babysit for him a lot when he’s working.”

“Great,” I muttered. “They’ll rope me into helping.”

“S’ not so bad,” Chan said, growling in frustration when your suitcase fell over to the side with an unpleasant crash. “Can you help or what?”

You laughed at your brother’s outrage, reaching back to pull your hair into a messy bun. 

Meanwhile, you noticed the front door of your house opening from the corner of your eye, smiling when your mother shrieked and rushed down the sidewalk to meet you halfway in a long-winded embrace. “Y/N!! I’m so glad to see you.”

“You’re crushing me,” you heaved through constricted lungs, accepting your mother’s open arms even if it was a little over-eager.

“Oh! I’m sorry, dear,” she said, pulling back just enough to allow oxygen to circulate once again, but not enough to pull you away from her mushy kisses. “You look so healthy and beautiful!”

“Yeah, thanks mom,” you said, slowly beginning the untangling process of removing her arms from around you while Chan struggled in the background to carry your suitcase up the front steps. “I should help.”

“Of course!” your mom agreed, but a distant tug of curiosity had you turning back to look at the house next door once again.

“Hey? Do you know anything about the new neighbor?”

“You mean Changbin? He’s wonderful, darling. So polite, and his daughter is so funny.”

You wrinkled your nose, never having been a huge fan of kids. “Chan said you babysit for him sometimes.”

“It���s always nice to help someone out,” your mother tsked, and you could recognize her patronizing tone from anywhere. “Such a shame that he divorced his wife. Heard it was kinda nasty.”

“It’s not any of our business,” you reminded her.

“Oh, I didn’t say it was!” your mother sighed. “He doesn’t talk about it much.”

“Jeez, how much do you guys talk?”

Because from the sound of it, Changbin had to be as old as your mom to make this much of an impression. You grinned as you briefly imagined the two of them on the front porch drinking tea together and gossiping about the rest of the neighborhood.

“He’s far more friendly than Mrs. Jones was,” your mother remarked. “I think you’d like him, Y/N.”

“I don’t know about that...”

“Well, you’ll get the chance to meet him tonight,” your mother said, smile full and wide. “I’ve invited him over for dinner!”

Oh, great.

“Can’t wait,” you forced out between clenched teeth, rolling your eyes when your mom clapped her hands together before grabbing your hand to drag you inside, feeling only a distant shiver roll across your spine as you walked onto the porch as if someone was looking at you from afar....

Your mother was hardly the type to run out of conversation, and you eventually were forced to leave her downstairs to argue with Chan over some menial thing that he forgot to do for tonight’s big dinner while you trudged upstairs to find some peace.

Unsurprisingly, your childhood bedroom remained untouched, and you circled around the perimeter, studying old pictures of yourself playing sports and hanging out with friends. Fingers dusting over your collection of old trophies and high-school yearbooks that recalled long-ago days of feeling carefree - with the future wide-open in front of you for the taking.

But you were well off in the present, allowing yourself to indulge in the nostalgia of looking through old diaries and journals before your mother’s voice called you downstairs for dinner later that evening. “Coming!” you called back, pausing next to your mirror to check your reflection.

The smell of your mother’s cooking had your stomach rumbling from the hunger of only stopping once on the way home to eat cheap fast-food with Chan, and you forced yourself to walk like a normal person even though every instinct was screaming at you to find the source of that delicious odor.

You were nearly salivating at the idea of your mother’s homemade cooking, and your hand caught the rail of the bannister to turn the final corner, but the sounds of voices from below forced you to pause at the top of the stairs, eyes growing wide as you took in the sight of the unfamiliar man standing in your foyer, talking to your mother like they had known each other for years. “Oh, Y/N,” your mother said, and you shivered when the man turned to look at you. “Come meet our neighbor, Changbin. I think you’ll really like him.”

You held back a snort at the ironic comment because it only took you a few seconds to come to the conclusion that Changbin epitomized the phrase “just my type.”

He was on the shorter side, built like he had literally spent his entire life working out, arms bulging beneath his t-shirt and chest straining the material tight to his front. So much so that you could practically see his nipples through the fabric. 

His hair was jet-black, ruffled from the wind outside, and his eyes were equally as dark, lips contorted into a self-satisfied smirk that you found exceedingly hot.

“Hi,” you mustered without much thought, nearly tripping over your own two feet on the way down the stairs.

“This is my daughter, Y/N,” your mother said, inviting you closer so that you were standing directly in front of Changbin.

“Nice to meet you,” he said in a deep voice that was slightly rough around the edges.

“Y/N just graduate from college,” your mother gushed. “We’re so excited to have her back.”

“I’m home for the summer,” you explained, shivering at the dark look in Changbin’s gaze. “I’m starting an internship in the Fall.”

“Y/N will be working in publishing,” your mother explained, jumping in while you and Changbin continued to stare each other down - something intense and provocative.

“Really?” Changbin asked, eyes making a leisurely stroll of looking you up and in down in a way that had you feeling extremely self-conscious. 

“Oh! Give me one second to check something in the kitchen,” your mother said, excusing herself with a smile before leaving the two of you alone in the foyer.

You inwardly cursed your mother for leaving you both in an awkward silence. Say something!! You screamed to yourself.

“So,” you started, clearing your throat and forcing yourself to stop swaying back and forth. “Chan told me you practice law.”

“Yeah,” Changbin agreed, and you swooned at his crooked smile. “It doesn’t sound as interesting as your work.”

“I don’t know about that,” you countered politely, but Changbin was unrelenting.

“You looked surprised to see me earlier,” he remarked.

You swallowed hard. “Oh, well when Chan mentioned a neighbor with a kid, I just wasn’t expecting someone so....”

“Yes?” Changbin prodded, encouraging you to continue.

Someone so fucking hot, you thought to yourself, someone who was literally made inside my best fantasies, but those explicit thoughts belonged exclusively inside your head. “Young,” you eventually finished, and Changbin seemed disappointed for some reason.

“I’m 32,” he said, and your eyes widened perceptibly, realizing that he was ten years older than you.

“I would’ve never guessed,” you said. “I mean, not that it’s a bad thing-”

“It’s alright,” Changbin interrupted, and you were relieved to hear him chuckle. “I know what you mean.”

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I can be a little awkward.”

“No,” he shook his head, coming to stand a little closer. “I think it’s nice.”

Oh? What was that supposed to mean?

“I used to have a boyfriend who looked a lot like you,” you went on, freezing when you comprehended what you had just blathered without thinking.

But Changbin didn’t seem bothered at all. “I bet he wasn’t as old as me.”

“He was my age,” you said. “But I kinda like older men...”

Fuck. Did those words really just come out of your mouth?!

“Y/N,” Changbin said, and you trembled at the huskiness of his tone. “You should be more careful.” He leaned in then as if trying to keep whatever he was about to say a secret for just the two of you. “I can be a very dangerous man.”

“O-oh,” you stuttered, finding yourself two seconds away from literally melting at his feet when your mother suddenly re-entered the foyer with a dusting of flour across her chin. 

“Dinner’s ready!” she announced, and you were fleeing behind her without a second thought, escaping the intoxicating hold of Changbin’s presence before you did something you might regret.

For whatever reason, you found yourself sitting next to Changbin in the dining room for dinner that night. 

“I made chicken,” your mother said, gesturing to each dish sitting in a line down the center of the table as she explained tonight’s menu. But you were barely cognizant of what your mother was saying because the close proximity to Changbin was doing very strange things to your head.

“So, Y/N,” your father started when everyone had been served. “I hope your brother was helpful with the move.”

Chan rolled his eyes, but you grinned at your father’s words. “Yeah, I was a little out of it though because of the time.”

“Like I said,” Chan huffed. “I couldn’t get there any later.”

“Let the bickering commence,” your mother said. “Changbin, you wouldn’t believe the fights these two had when they were young.”

“I can only imagine,” Changbin said, and you were wondering how someone could be even more attractive by the sound of their voice alone.

“Do you still need us to babysit for you tomorrow night?” your mother asked. “We would be more than accommodating.”

“That would be great,” Changbin said. “I’ve got a late conference call.”

“It’s no problem,” your mother continued. “Your daughter is just the loveliest.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that,” Changbin replied.

“Y/N,” your mother said, catching you with a mouthful of chicken. “Changbin’s daughter is such a peach.”

You quickly forced down the food in your mouth when you felt Changbin’s gaze rest on you. “Oh? How hold is she, Mr. Seo?”

“She’s six,” Changbin said, and he shifted in his chair, causing your knees to brush together in a move that you knew wasn’t intentional, even if it didn’t stop your legs from wrapping together. “And you don’t have to be so formal with me, Y/N. Only my clients call me Mr. Seo.”

“O-oh,” you exhaled, reacting to the brief contact under the table, hoping that nobody else was noticing your strange behavior.

“Maybe Y/N could help watch Lucy when you’re gone,” your mother suggested, always the first to rope you into these things.

“Sure,” you agreed, even though the idea of pulling babysitting duty was less than appealing, and you could hear Chan snickering from across the table. He knew perfectly well your attitude when it came to kids. 

“I think Lucy would like that,” Changbin agreed, and you started to nod along until you felt Changbin’s hand move to your thigh.

Just that single move had your entire form frozen in place. 

While your mother continued talking about whatever subject caught her attention, you were left wondering how you should react to the very obvious posturing of Changbin’s hand moving decidedly against your bare skin.

“I’ll probably head back into town tomorrow morning,” Chan said. “I wasn’t able to get much work done.”

You knew it was a playful jab at you, but at that moment you were incapable of coherent speech.

“How is work, Channie?” your mother asked, just as ignorant as the rest of them to the situation unfolding beneath her table. “Anything interesting?”

“Not really,” Chan replied, and you nearly choked on the food you were swallowing when you felt Changbin squeezing your thigh. 

“Try to chew it first, Y/N,” your father chuckled, and you forced a smile which you hoped wasn’t as strained as it felt.

“What about you, Changbin?” your mother politely queried. “Anything interesting happening lately?”

“Maybe,” he said with a tone that was far too knowing.

“Hmmm?” your mother smiled. “You aren’t seeing anyone, are you?”

You knew the question was invasive, but Changbin handled it in stride. “I think it depends.”

“Sounds scandalous,” your mother joked, and you couldn’t have possibly been imagining it, feeling his fingers reach so high under the opening of your shorts that his fingertips touched the outline of your panties. 

You reached down to cover his hand with your own, bringing awareness to the fact that you weren’t ignoring what was happening, and he had every opportunity to pull back.

But he didn’t. In fact, Changbin’s light, playful touches only continued, and you were left reeling for what the intention could possibly mean.

Early the next morning, you were supposed to be cleaning the pool as a favor to your mother, but how could you be blamed for sneaking peaks at your neighbor working out in his backyard? 

“Holy shit,” you cursed under your breath, failing to do a very good job of pretending to be occupied with your current task while ogling the man across the lawn who was in the middle of another round of push-ups, biceps flexing while the rest of his body practically glowed under the sun. 

You knew it wasn’t a crime to permit the occasional glance, but your hardcore staring could certainly be qualified as spying at this point (especially in the direction of a lawyer) - making it blatantly obvious that you were very appreciative of the male form at the peak of performance.

Was Changbin seriously 32? And a father?

The questions boggled your mind, and in your distracted state, you clearly forgot to keep a firm hold on the handle of the pool’s leaf skimmer, huffing in annoyance when it splashed beneath the water.

It was enough to attract Changbin’s attention, and you were sure that your face was just as red as the towel draped over the back of your mother’s patio furniture when he stood to his full height before walking in your direction.

“Were you watching me?” Changbin asked, sauntering over to you with black mesh shorts hanging tantalizingly low on his hips, shirt foregone in exchange for a delightful sheen of sweat coating the skin of his thick upper torso in dripping rivulets. 

“Uh...” you trailed off anxiously, realizing that Changbin wouldn’t be stupid enough to fall for your half-assed excuses, especially after what had happened between the two of you last night. 

“You’re not planning on lying to me, Y/N?” he asked, raising one eyebrow in question.

“N-no, Mr. Seo,” you said, shaking your head quickly, barely keeping a firm grasp of your bearings as he abruptly leaned in closer, musk hanging heavy in the air between the two of you. 

“I told you not to call me that,” he said, lips lingering far too close to your ear for a simple neighborly exchange, and you could feel the body heat emanating from him in waves, holding you completely hostage as you briefly entertained the idea of falling to your knees right then and there. 

“What should I call you?” you asked instead, fisting your shirt between your hands because you were desperate for something to ground you in that moment. 

You could practically feel his smirk, holding in a gasp when his hand settled at the low dip in your spine, fitting into the space there as he pulled you tight against his front. “You can always call me daddy instead.”

Your heart skipped several beats at the scandalous words. Either that or you had just entered cardiac arrest.

But before you could muster a response, you found yourself leaping out of Changbin’s hold when the backdoor opened, and your mother was screaming out your name while waving like a maniac. “Oh!” she said when she realized that you weren’t alone. “I didn’t mean to interrupt!”

“We were just talking,” you quickly inserted, glancing at Changbin from the corner of your eye to see him smirking. 

For a while, the very strange flirtation between you and Changbin simmered down, and you tried your best to avoid him when you could, even if he made that very hard to do since he insisted on doing his morning workouts outside in direct line of your bedroom.

It was during the following week that you brought the divine glory of Changbin to your friend, Laura’s, attention, ushering her into your house when she parked on the side of street. “What the hell, Y/N?” she complained when you started practically dragging her up the stairs. “I’ve been driving for hours.”

“Oh, hush,” you said. “You’ll thank me later.”

“Thank you for what, exactly?” Laura questioned, but your response was to simply push her toward the window, standing side by side as you looked through the blinds.

“My new neighbor.”

“Holy fuck!” Laura gasped when she finally joined you, and you could only nod your agreement as the two of you continued to watch Changbin through two narrow breaks in your blinds, wondering how the image of your sexy neighbor simply mowing his grass could make you so wet. “That man is huge!”

“I think he does it on purpose,” you remarked, feeling your heart palpitate inside your chest when Changbin took a moment to pause his chore, reaching down to remove his shirt and tuck it into the waistband of his shorts.

Laura’s gasp was almost outlandishly laughable. “He’s ripped! Like, Sports Illustrated model worthy.”

“I would buy every last copy of that edition.”

“I’d even go a step further and tape the pictures to my wall.”

You both stopped to look at one another, nodding in your collective agreement. “Not here, though, my mom would freak.”

“Yeah, but how can your mom expect you to just ignore...that!” Laura exclaimed, gesturing wildly to Changbin. 

“She thinks he’s a fucking Saint, but I swear to god, Laura, he’s provoking me on purpose! The other night at dinner? He came over and put. his. hand. on. my. leg,” you said, emphasizing the last line with what probably looked like a comical widening of your eyes. “And he works out every morning in front of my bedroom? What the hell am I supposed to think?”

“No think,” Laura sighed dreamily. “Just enjoy the view.”

“Do you think I’m not?” you snorted. “I’m serious about him doing those things!”

“So what?” Laura grumbled. “Why are you actually worried that your fucking super model neighbor wants to make a few moves on you? I would be honored.”

“I’m not worried,” you huffed. “It just feels like he wants something from me.”

“Well, if it’s a good fuck, then send him all the signals you can, girl.”

“Really?” you muttered. “You know I suck with flirting. That’s why I only hooked up with Joshua at those stupid frat parties. He didn’t care that I was an awkward mess.”

“Well, neither will your neighbor,” Laura said. “Especially if he’s as interested as you say.”

You pursed your lips, considering her comment, but the sudden and unexpected sound of your door opening sent both you and Laura jumping nearly ten feet into the air as you hurried away from the blinds as fast as humanely possible to take up some form of normalcy.

No, mom, of course we weren’t staring at Mr. Seo.

“Girls,” your mother inquired as she walked inside, and you prayed that your mother hadn’t caught the two of you taking sly peaks at Changbin outside, but she seemed completely ignorant. “I have a question for you.”

“Hmmm?” you inquired, innocently enough, trying to act like the position that you had forced yourself into on the bed was totally not uncomfortable.

“Changbin needs someone to watch Lucy tomorrow night, but your father and I already made plans,” she said. “But I told him you would be more than happy to come over and help him out.”

You winced when Laura elbowed you in the side, giving you one of those looks that you knew quite well from countless nights of barhopping as sophomores. “Yeah, I don’t mind.”

“I’m sure you don’t,” Laura snickered, but you payed her no attention as you hurried to close the door behind your mother’s retreating form, breathing a sigh of relief to hear her walk back down the stairs.

In all of your years of existence, never had you questioned the appropriateness of an outfit to wear to someone’s place to babysit.

“Fuck it,” you eventually decided, settling on regular, well-worn jeans and a college t-shirt.

After all, it wasn’t like Changbin was staying for very long. He claimed he had something to do at the office, and you would be all alone inside his house with only his kid for companionship.

Still, after your conversation with Laura from the previous afternoon, you couldn’t help but feel more mindful about how he might look at you, and you forced yourself to wear your most professional smile when you rang the doorbell to his house, counting slowly from one until he opened the door.

“Hi, Y/N,” Changbin said, and you tried not to blatantly check him out; although, you couldn’t help but linger on the tight fit of his shirt across his pecs.

“Hello,” you nearly whispered, cursing your hormones as you followed Changbin inside.

“I actually have something to tell you,” Changbin said, leading you into the living room so that you could sit down while entered the adjoining kitchen.

“Oh?” you queried, as politely as you could, waiting for him to return.

It didn’t take him long, and you found yourself sitting up a little straighter from where you had made yourself comfortable on the couch. “So, I actually found someone else to watch Lucy,” Changbin explained, coming around to land next to you on the couch with two glasses of wine. 

“You did?” you asked, surprised and taken-aback. 

Why were you here then?

As if he could read your thoughts, Changbin smirked. “Thirsty?”

“Sure,” you agreed, taking one of the glasses and bringing the rim up to your lips. “I’m sorry, I just thought you wanted me to watch her.”

“I did,” Changbin said, and he seemed contemplative as he sipped his own drink. “But then I kinda wanted you for something else.”

“Something else?” you repeated because your mind was spinning those simple words in a thousand different directions, and you were only able to settle on one likely outcome when Changbin’s hand dropped to your thigh, reminiscent of your first dinner together from several evenings ago. 

He suddenly moved in closer to you, allowing you to smell the subtle cologne that he was wearing. “You’ve been watching me,” he said, and you shivered, feeling both hot and cold at the same time as you looked at him.

“S-sir?”

“Don’t play coy,” Changbin continued, and you found yourself observing the way his throat bobbed as he drank. “I don’t mind the attention.”

“You don’t?” you replied, a rather useless question considering the circumstances, and Changbin took your glass and sat both alcoholic selections onto the side table.

“Why wouldn’t I like it?” he asked, tracing little nonsensical patterns on the covered part of your thigh. “You’re a very beautiful girl.”

What. The. Hell?!!

“Mr. Seo, I don’t think-”

“Y/N,” Changbin interrupted, and you were so frazzled and disjointed by the sharp grip he took on your chin, forcing eye-contact that was so intimate, you could feel yourself grow a little bit wetter. “I told you not to call me that.”

It was the only precursor you got before Changbin was delving in, gripping your chin firmly as he connected your lips in a deep, sensuous exchange that had you reeling from the sudden 180 degree turn that the night had taken. 

In one word: everything was rough. Teeth meeting teeth, and tongues rolling in a messy glide against one another. Wet and warm. Silky and smooth. It was everything you needed in a kiss to get your gears turning, feeling your pussy positively throbbing in response.

“That’s right,” Changbin eventually said when he pulled the two of you apart - very much still in control. “We shouldn’t ignore this tension between us.”

“No,” you eagerly agreed, diving in once more for another earth-shattering kiss that rocked you to your very bones, taking the initiative to crawl into his lap, grinding yourself shamelessly against the tight bulge in his jeans while your fingers dug their way into his thick, dark hair. 

“Eager,” Changbin whispered between feverish kisses, keeping your mouths locked together at all costs, even if that meant growing a little bit light-headed from losing too much oxygen.

But you couldn’t get enough of him, not after all this teasing and tension. 

You didn’t care anymore, consequences be damned, and there wasn’t a single part of you opposing his intentional touches, giving him enough space to unbutton your jeans before sliding one hand beneath the waistband of your panties. In response, you moaned into his mouth, bracing your hands against his shoulders as he found the delicate folds of your pussy.

“Do you want me to touch you here?” Changbin asked, and you were feverishly nodding, sweat forming at the top of your forehead, trying your best to hold back your loudest moans when he slid right in with little resistance, moving his fingers around the inside of your cunt, stretching and filling you in a way that you imagined was nothing compared to what the thick cock beneath you could do.

But you would take anything from him, savoring the glide of his fingers since you were practically drenching him in sticky arousal, jerking forward every so often when his thumb pressed down a little too hard against your clit.

All the while, you could feel yourself start to break apart from the heated contact between the two of you, aching and wanting for the release that the look in his eyes told you he had every intention of providing.

And you were enjoying every bit of the journey to get there, bathing in his attention, groaning when his fingers curled up just right to tease your g-spot, and grinding down against the erection confined tightly in his jeans. 

Everything was suddenly so much louder, the sounds of his palm smacking against your cunt, fingers gliding through wetness, and the joined harmony of your combined moans and grunts. 

It was a rapid uphill ascent into the clouds, and you could feel him start to move even faster, pulling against the fabric of your jeans, and there was hardly any time for your mind to truly comprehend what was happening. Lost in a sinful haze of lust and divine rapture, wanting nothing more than to just lose yourself in Changbin.

Except he wasn’t letting you simply drown in the pleasure he was giving you, tugging at your hair to bring you back to the present, to the final string keeping your orgasm just out of reach. “You don’t think I haven’t noticed,” Changbin growled into your ear, keeping one hand tight around your waist to stop your squirming as he continued plunging his thick fingers between the tight walls of your pussy. “I see you looking at me because I want you to look.”

You moaned at the explicit expression of his desires, closing your eyes and returning your head against his shoulder, hips titillating according to the way he moved his fingers inside of you. 

“Cum for me,” he said, and you were more than willing to let go of everything, including the moans you had been trying to hold back, filling the house with the loud raucous of your screams as your orgasm snapped and unleashed a molten hot thrill along your spine.

You were gasping for breath, returning from the highest peak of satisfaction, but Changbin hardly gave you anytime to recover before he was removing his hand from your jeans and forcing you into the floor.

“My turn,” he grunted, and the sound of his belt unbuckling triggered some semblance of rationale, and you were practically salivating over Changbin’s cock, eyeing the red bulbous mushroom head and wondering how deep you could take him. “Well?” Changbin prodded, grabbing the base of his thick erection to brush it across the pout of your lips. “Open wide.”

You whimpered, but obeyed, allowing your tongue to stick out just enough to taste the drop of precum leaking from the tip. It was bitter and unappealing, but since it was from Changbin, you couldn’t resist trying more of him, going further and further down until you felt him at the back of your throat.

Your jaw was already aching from the extension, and a distant thought had you thinking, damn, you were gonna be sore in the morning. But it was completely worth it to hear him moan from above you, fingers tightening in your hair as you allowed him to set the pace, rolling you up and down his cock, tongue sweeping the sides and tip and digging into the little slit where you discovered he was the most sensitive. 

At the same time, you were all but humping his leg, desperate to get off again as he used your mouth for his own personal cocksleeve, hitting the back of your throat repeatedly, sending you gagging around his impossible length.

“You take cock like you were made for it,” he remarked, eyes glossing over in a way that had you feeling rather proud of your skills. 

It only lasted for a moment, and he abruptly held himself all the way down for one, two, three seconds until you were whining for him to let you free just long enough to take in another deep breath. 

“Finish me off,” he groaned, and you were working overtime to bring him to the edge, bobbing your head up and down the full expanse of his length, all gorgeous and velvety smooth skin. And you braced your hands against his knees, an anchor to reality, when he finally released down your throat, heavy and warm, causing you to nearly choke as you struggled to swallow every last drop.

“Good girl,” he whispered, petting your head softly as you whined and continued to rub yourself against him, jumping off the brink of orgasmic bliss right after him, allowing your head to fall down between his spread legs.

It was a quiet for a while as you both fought to catch your breath, but then he was moving again, rising from his position on the couch. 

You sat back on your heels at the jostling, whimpering when he stood over you with a menacing sneer, grabbing your face between his hands, forcing your gazes to meet somewhere in the middle even though you still couldn’t completely concentrate. But you were cognizant to at least understand his next words: “Lucy won’t be here tomorrow night, either.”

“Changbin,” you gasped, understanding the implications of his request and shivering at the effect they could still have on your worn-out body. 

“I’ll leave the door unlocked,” he whispered into your ear, keeping eye-contact as he brought his fingers still coated with your arousal into his mouth, sucking while you grew faint at the sight. Then, he pulled them free and knelt down to sear your lips together so that you could taste the riveting combination of your releases on his wicked tongue. 

You returned home that night in a daze, immediately heading for your room after assuring your mother that everything was totally fine with the babysitting, even if you probably appeared a little out of sorts. 

In the meantime, you landed on top of your bed with a sigh, opening your phone contacts to pull up Laura’s name, placing the call without any mind to the late hour.

She answered on the third ring with a curt grunt. “This better be good, Y/N.”

“Oh?” you replied with a nonchalant tone. “I thought you might be interested in hearing about my latest dick appointment.”

There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end. “You didn’t.”

“I did!”

“With your neighbor?”

You laughed at Laura’s shrill tone, rolling over onto your stomach with your feet dancing in the air behind you. “I totally sucked him off.” 

“Shit! How big is his cock?” Laura whispered over the phone as if anybody could possibly overhear your conversation. 

“Let’s just say he’s well-endowed.”

“You absolute slut!” Laura exclaimed. “Did he at least return the favor?”

“Oh, he’s a gentleman,” you explained. “He took care of me first.”

“Details!”

“He just fingered me,” you said, even as your mind sprinted with images and sensations; Changbin’s sultry gaze, defined muscles, and the burning desire he had planted deep in your core. 

“That’s hot though,” Laura said. “I can’t believe you actually did anything with him.”

“What? I told you he was sending me signals!”

“Yeah, but I was only halfway assuming that those signals might lead to his fingers in you!”

You couldn’t help yourself, laughing at Laura’s incredulous tone, and spending the next several minutes doing your absolute best to provide a heavily detailed play-by-play of your evening tryst with Changbin. 

“Lucky bitch,” Laura scoffed at the end of your long-winded tale. “I’d kill for someone to fuck me.”

“Well, we haven’t gotten there yet...”

“Yet? Are you planning to go back to him?”

“Obviously,” you said. “There’s unfinished business that I need to take care of.”

“You think he wants to fuck you?”

“I think he wants to do a lot to me,” you purred, smirking at the sounds of Laura’s outlandish squeals from the other end.

Still, you didn’t think those explicit fantasies would come to fruition so soon. But the next night when you returned to Changbin’s house under the guise of babysitting his kid, there were no formalities between the two of you because you both wanted each other in a way that should be considered improper. 

Fortunately, you were tired of caring about other people’s opinions, and it only took Changbin a moment to pull you into his house before his lips were crushing against yours, holding you around the waist as he started working at your clothes.

If whiplash was a thing in moments like these, then you had it bad, trying to follow the taste of him as he backed you both into the bedroom, closing the door and enveloping you both in the gentle glow from the lamp.

“Get on the bed,” Changbin growled when he finally pulled away, reaching down for the hem of his t-shirt. You swallowed hard at the sight of his broad, toned upper form, stumbling backward along the floor, hopping on one leg to finish removing your jeans for him, leaving you completely naked as you lowered yourself onto the mattress. “Good girl,” Changbin cooed, and you shivered at the huskiness of his voice, rubbing your thighs together in anticipation as he blatantly traced the outline of his cock through his jeans.

“Changbin, please,” you panted, already so worked up from just kissing and feeling his hands all over your body that you were desperate for something more.

“What do you want, gorgeous?” he asked, walking slowly around to the front of the bed as you watched him with eager eyes.

“Want you to fuck me,” you said, heart thundering against your chest when he started working apart his belt, pulling down his jeans and boxers and allowing his thick cock to slap up against his abdomen, already so hard for you even though you had just started.

“Hands and knees,” Changbin ordered, and you were surprised by your quick compliance, supporting yourself on shaky limbs as you felt him climb on the bed behind you, tensing when the head of his cock grazed your wet opening. “Look at you,” Changbin rumbled, teasing you even more by running his fingers down your spine, allowing his other hand to reach around to grope your breast.

“Hurry,” you practically begged him, and it was like the metaphorical band had finally snapped, and you moaned when Changbin took a firm hold of your hips, manhandling you back into position. 

“Good girls say please,” he snarled, and your entire form light up at the abrupt command.

“P-please,” you stuttered, and there was an unholy line of curses that left your lips when he directed his cock inside, penetrating you so slowly that you could feel every inch of him until he was snug against your ass.

“Since you asked nicely,” Changbin chuckled, and you had never been so turned on before in your entire life, heart racing and blood pumping, bracing yourself against the mattress when he started thrusting, gentle at first, but then faster and faster as you egged him on, wanting him to go so hard that he split you in half around his cock. 

“Oh, fuck,” you gasped, struggling to maintain any sort of grip on the headboard. 

“You’ve been holding out on me,” Changbin purred into your ear, sounding perfectly put-together despite the fact that he was literally drilling his cock into you. “All those guys you’ve fucked before, I would think your pussy wouldn’t be this tight.”

“You’re just too big,” you managed, crying out when he grazed a sensitive spot. 

“Oh? Is that why this little pussy is leaking so much?” Changbin asked, and you had no response for him, clearly fucked out of all rational thought as his hips slapped against yours in a bruising meeting of skin-on-skin. 

It was undeniable: you had never felt this full before...like Changbin’s cock was somehow reaching all the way to your guts, and you reached down to place a hand over your stomach, imagining feeling the bulge of his cock against the distended skin.

“How does daddy feel?” Changbin whispered into your ear, and if it was possible for him to literally destroy you, then it would be from that heavily suggestive question.

“So good,” you sniffled, tears falling inhibited, leaving your face just as wet as the place where he was crushing himself into you, repeating the same motion of leaving just the tip before re-entering you with added urgency, cock forcing its way between the slick walls of your cunt. 

It was a beautiful melodic song after that (or, perhaps, hard metal would be a much better genre), the rhythm of his hips rolling against your own, hard and then softer, bruising and fleeting, stuffing your pussy on every upstroke, holding you in place by his pure strength. 

You could feel that strength everywhere, the force of his cock squelching between your pulsating walls, the way you moved up and down the bed by his control, and, when you reached back with one hand to feel his arm, the flex of his biceps as his arms worked to move you however he pleased.

“What will your mother say, Y/N?” Changbin asked. “When she finds out that her daughter fucked the man next door?”

Your mother would absolutely lose her shit if she found out that you were willingly spreading your legs for a divorced 32-year old man who had a daughter you were meant to be babysitting. She would be even more taken aback to discover that you loved and craved every second of Changbin’s cock tearing you to pieces, stretching you so good that you imagined that you would still be gaping in the morning, desperate to have him fill you again. 

“Her little girl screaming like a slut for me,” Changbin hissed. “Say my name, Y/N.”

“C-Changbin,” you whimpered, feeling him roll to a slower pace, merely grinding his hips in circles as if teasing you for the answer.

You flinched and nearly cried when he smacked the fleshy part of your ass, trying to look back over your shoulder to see what you had done wrong. “Try again,” he said, giving you a meaningful look that your poor, fucked-out brain still managed to decipher; although, you were burning in your own skin at the thought of saying it out loud....

“Daddy!” you moaned, and Changbin suddenly reached down to catch a fistful of your hair, pulling your head back and forcing your back into an even deeper arch. 

“That’s right,” he sneered. “And Daddy’s about to ruin this pussy, fuck it so full of my cum that you’ll still be feeling it when you go back home tonight to your parents and lie about what you’ve done.”

Your next moan was the loudest of the night, overwhelmed by the nasty things he was saying to you, feeling your orgasm gaining speed and traction the longer he kept fucking you, cock moving at a neck-break pace, and fingers wet and hurried over your clit.

The combined friction of his cock and fingers had you reeling, struggling to keep yourself up as he pummeled you into the mattress. Taking great liberties in the screams he was forcing out of you, realizing that if he angled his hips with one of your legs stretched higher around his hip, then he could somehow reach even deeper, kissing your cervix and threatening to steal the breath from your lungs. 

More and More. Faster and Faster. Until the breaking point was right under your nose...

The next thing you remember is a release that was so intense, you managed to black-out when it was all over, pussy fluttering around the distinct waves of pleasure, barely coherent as Changbin continued chasing his own release until he fulfilled his obscene promise to you. 

Three Weeks Later

You had gotten awfully good at keeping Changbin a secret - a dirty and scandalous whisper at that. 

For a while, your mother questioned your insistence on going over to your neighbor’s house to babysit, especially considering your history of being less than willing to interact with children.

“She’s not like most kids,” you lied, waiting for your mother to relent before grabbing whatever bag you needed consisting of your overnight clothes, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible when you walked over to Changbin’s house.

Your mother watched you, at first, standing on the porch as if ensuring that you made it the dozen or so feet separating your yard from that of your neighbor’s. Eventually, she gave up on trying to catch you doing something you weren’t supposed to, but you still kept up appearances, ringing the doorbell and taking a few steps to the side to leave enough room for the screen to rotate on its hinges, offering you the irresistible view of Changbin standing there in all his glory. 

“You’re early,” he remarked; although he seemed to take great pleasure in seeing you as early as possible.

“Is that okay?” you asked with a knowing look, and Changbin chuckled while giving you his most arrogant smirk. 

In return, you smiled back at Changbin, watching him open the door just a little bit wider in invitation.

It was all you needed before surrendering yourself to whatever delicious and mind-blowing ecstasy awaited on you the other side.  

Summer of 69 indeed.

[rekas-writes]

Give us something for gender euphoria? For pride month? 👉👈 characters of course of your choosing

A/N: More than happy to oblige~! Thank you for the ask, big sibling ^^ Went with Neon from Val bc she’s such a huge comfort to me ngl-

This also leaned more into the coming out prompt than I intended, whoops ^^; I came up with a different sorta plot but didn't want to scrap this either so I might post both-

Also I’m so sorry for the slight hiatus! I’ve been caught up playing R6 Extraction/Valorant ^^; I also wanted to just have a small break to refresh myself and keep my writing tip top for you guys! I’ve been feeling kind of out of it lately haha

✧☕✧ Thank you for ordering, please do visit again soon~! ✧🍮✧

Be Unafraid to Be You

Pair: Platonic! Neon/ FtM! Reader

Type: One-Shot -  1139 words

Genre: Fluff

Inspiration/Prompt: Pride Prompts #29 - Gender Euphoria

Summary: Following your coming out, you feel so free and happy to be yourself. In your reverie, you recollect how ecstatic your best friend Neon was and the celebratory feast she took you out for. What says I love you more than food, after all.

TW: None

✦ ▬▰▬ ▬▰▬ ★✦★ ▬▰▬ ▬▰▬ ✦

In all honesty, Neon was your rock. The person you ran to when you felt scared. The person you sought whenever you needed a second opinion. The person who motivated you and encouraged you as you faced yourself and spoke your truth to the base. She’s your best friend, your hype-man and your inspiration all in one. None could really defy your bond, from teammates to enemies. You were a force to be reckoned with together.

You’d never felt better as you finally embraced and donned the identity of the man you were meant to be, and it was all because of her. Her unwavering loyalty and never-ending support of you as who you truly are. She was the first person you confided in, of course she was. She was and still is your best friend and you needed her support then more than ever. As you wrung your hands in front of you nervously, she had simply raised an eyebrow, her tone light-hearted in an attempt to calm you down,

“Hoy, bes, (Hey, best friend,*) what’s wrong? Overheard something about Viper you shouldn’t have? C’mon, kumusta ka na? (What’s up?*)” She had a gentle smile on her face despite the joking tone in her voice. She’d gotten increasingly worried, a fact she confided in you afterward with a laugh, but trusted you would tell her what’s wrong when you were ready,

“Tala I…” you started with a waver, but steel yourself. She gave you an attentive, patient nod as she waited for you to continue. She let you take your time, to find your words and sort your feelings enough to speak without a wobble. In the end, the coming out, albeit maybe clumsy, is sweet and heartfelt. Neon holds nothing but admiration for you as she asks for your new name. You swear the first time she refers to you as Y/N, you almost cried. She’s rather thorough in her research, mildly nervous as she tiptoes around asking Sage about the subject- not wanting to carelessly spill what you had so carefully confided.

From trips to the mall for any new clothes you wished for, to new haircuts to fit any newfound sense of style or contouring to help you feel more confident, to gifting you a good quality binder just in case, out of worry you may be hurting yourself. She’s always looking out for you on all fronts. Gods forbid someone tries to hurt you because of your identity. In passing conversation, you admit you were slightly scared that she would end your friendship. She’s wide-eyed at the presumption- shaking her head, 

“Why be friends with someone if you’re not gonna like them as who they really are. Sounds kinda stupid in my opinion,” were her only words of wisdom on the topic, a shared laugh following.

And now you were here living your best life on base, and you’ve never felt happier. You were free to express yourself how you wished, gaining confidence and security from both friends and you just feeling great in general from this newfound freedom. From Phoenix jokingly finger-gunning you with a “Looking good, handsome!” to the loud, mildly overwhelming support from Raze as she offered to set off some fireworks (and maybe a few other not-OSHA-approved explosives) to celebrate.

Though, none compared to Neon’s own heart-warming celebration. That was a memory you could never erase, not that you’d ever really want to. You could still recall it in clear detail; it was nearing evening and Tala had made some off-hand comments about going out soon to eat to mark the day off. Good food was always a nice bow to tie off a great day.

Tala practically dragged you to the restaurant, with you slightly struggling to keep up despite her not using her High Gear, only slowing down a tad with a bashful apology when you tugged her arm- mildly out of breath. As you settled in the restaurant, only slightly surprised she had a reservation, she was quick to start listing out the food she wanted.

Staring at the table, you’re pretty sure you have a whole feast. The Duelist walks you through it, her eyes lighting up at a few personal favourites of hers. There’s fresh, crispy lumpia, bowls for the piping hot sinigang and steaming rice, another bigger bowl for the warm kare-kare, fried bangus, hearty chicken Tinola and some more plates and dishes for whatever Neon decided was necessary.

The electrical radiant pauses as some pancit arrives at the table. A small and simple yet filling dish. It’s a small portion given what you’d just eaten, but there’s something different about the way Neon wants to show you the dish. She’s almost nervous as she hesitates,

“Hey uh…” she gestures to the plate and pushes it a little in your direction, “This is pancit. It’s a staple celebratory food, especially on birthdays because it symbolises long life. And I know it’s not your birthday but it’s a special day for you and you look the happiest I've ever seen you be. I… I want to commemorate it,” she’s looking away a slight, suddenly shy but you smile at her, trembly and slightly watery from the way you’re tearing up,

“Thank you, Tala. I really appreciate it,” you spoke with a slight sniffle, a few stray tears already falling from not only how kind the gesture was but how far her efforts went for you. Looking back at your expression, her eyes widen a slight,

“H-Hey, hey, no waterworks! This is meant to be a happy occasion, diba? (*right?)” she shakes her head but she’s smiling all the same, relieved. With Neon urging you, you finally grab some rice noodles. However, she’s quick to stop you from breaking the noodles,

“The long life thing doesn’t work if you break them! Each noodle’s long which is where the whole thing came from. If you cut it, you’re cutting off your blessings. And with our kind of jobs, I’d like to keep you around a lot longer. I hate making new friends,” you laugh at the last part, something Tala can’t help but join before you get a better grip on the rice noodles.

You nudge neon a little, waving your fork as you gesture for her to do the same,

“If I’m gonna be living longer, I wanna live longer with my best friend, Y’know? I ain’t having you die on me,” you joke as the radiant laughs a little, nodding her head,

“Well, I’m not planning on leaving you here without me. Who else’s gonna tell you you look bad before we go out?” You’re both smiling and giggling as you clumsily clink your forks in a toast and a promise.

A promise to kick ass together forever and have each other’s backs till the very end.

[witch-hazels-musings]

Could you do some headcanons about Kaeya and Diluc with an s/o who really wants to dance with them (whether it be at a festival, party, at home, etc.) Also? I seriously respect the hell out of you for writing while working an 8-5 as someone who has to work a 9-5 and feels like i doesn’t even have time to shower at night. ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡ I hope you’re doing well! Please continue to grace us with your lovely presence!

I finished it!! Thank you for waiting for me! I hope you like it :D 

^ expanded the request a bit --- I also don’t know how Kaeya’s got to be so long - so an extra special gift from me to you 

warnings -> sfw, reader is pestered by some ppl, jealous characters :) 

Character X GN Reader | Anthology

Includes: Kaeya, Diluc, Childe, Albedo

Kaeya

When Kaeya asked you to be his partner to one of the largest events in all of Mondstadt, you were beyond excited - this was an opportunity you had been waiting for - you’d always wanted to dance with him, and this was the perfect opportunity to do so 

You did your best to get ready, not knowing if this or that outfit would be better to wear, and the anxiety of having to meet him at the event hall was weighing on you 

“Y/N!” You turned your head for the thousandth time, so many voices had called out to you the moment you descended the stairs, their eyes as powerfully overwhelming as their voices. Luckily, this voice was someone you were relieved to see. Amber gripped onto your hands and pushed herself between you and the many bodies standing just a bit too close. “You look incredible! I’ve only ever seen you in your adventure clothes.” 

“Haha, I couldn’t come to a ball dressed like that, could I?” You glanced down at your attire, it had taken you a long time to decide what to wear and even though you settled on this, and were getting compliment after complement, you only cared about one person's opinion. Where was he? 

“Well, you look incredible!” She gripped your wrist and pulled you along, shouting at people who refused to get out of the way, her peppy voice breaking through all the many others calling for your attention. It was strange to be the center of attention. You’d seen so many of these faces around town and they didn’t seem to notice you then, so why all the affection now? It made you feel self-conscious. 

When you were finally away from the sea of eager eyes, you took a deep breath. The new, less crowded space letting in relief to ease your nerves. 

You looked at Amber and smiled at her, she always seemed to know how to bring you just what you needed, her kindness knew no bounds and you were we happy to have a friend like her. “Have you been here long?” You asked her.

“Pretty much, I’ve been helping plan this event for a while. I’m happy for it to be over honestly, who knew planning something like this was so exhausting.” 

“Ha, maybe that’s why Diluc always has a sour expression on his face. Too many events.” 

“You’re probably right! Ah, can you imagine stern Diluc planning a party? I’d die.” She laughed and the cheery vibrations seeped into your weary skin, your nerves made it easier for you to have an emotional reaction and with her disposition you found yourself laughing with her. 

“So,” you looked out over the dance floor, noticing the tables full of food and drink, people standing in small circles chatting and laughing away. “Who else made it tonight?” 

“Oh, are you looking for someone in particular?” She tilted her head and smiled at your flustered state. 

“N-no … what … shut-up.” You frowned and looked away from her. 

“I think you’ll see him soon, he had something to do but it won’t take him all night.” She must have noticed your disappointment because in an instant she made the decision to get you something to eat and stuck to your side until you had a more natural smile on your face. 

Any excuse to be close to you he is all for, it doesn’t matter what the occasion is, he will find a way to hold you, touch you - he just cannot get enough of you 

When he invited you to the Favonious ball, he knew you’d quickly take up his offer and join him, there wasn’t a question in his mind that you would deny it 

He had several things to prepare for and was frustrated that he couldn’t bring you to the event himself, but he knew you’d show up and once you did he’d have all night to spend with you - that was if he could make his way through the barrage of people who were flocking to you as soon as you stepped through the door 

He stepped through the hallway, his footsteps echoing off the walls as he made his way toward the ballroom. Lisa had given him a few ‘last minute’ wardrobe adjustments, and while she cooed over how handsome he looked, he hated how tight the suit was around his neck. He pushed his finger between the collar of his dress shirt and pulled at it. 

As he turned the corner, he could already hear the sounds of the party drifting up toward him. He hoped it wasn’t too late, his work had kept him longer than he wished and it was well past the time that you said you’d be there. He was frustrated and eager to see your face. 

The light from the ballroom washed over him as he stepped onto the balcony. There were still plenty of people enjoying themselves below but he only cared about one. His eyes scanned the crowd, heart filling with dread as he failed again and again at finding you among them. Then he saw you, your back leaning against one of the pillars, your arms crossed around your chest, eyes looking at the outrider who seemed to be holding you in a lively conversation. 

He smiled and quickly made his way down the steps, his hands slipping into his pockets as he did so. 

People were engaged in discussions, which normally he would be interested in as these were great opportunities to gather information, but his focus was on something much more important. 

“I’m going to ask them…” A voice caught his attention so he slowed his pace. 

“Don’t even bother, they haven’t danced with anyone the whole night. They’ve just been talking with that brunette for hours.” 

“I’m pretty persistent; I know how to win someone over.” Kaeya looked at them, his gaze lingering for a moment before catching you in the same place you had been. He watched as they made their way toward you and the stab in his chest pulled at the back of his mind. Quickly, he unbuttoned the collar of his shirt, the freedom of it spurring him on as he pushed his way toward you. 

-- 

“Hey, I couldn’t help but notice you haven’t danced with anyone here. I know, you’ve just been waiting for me to ask you all night.” The man smiled at you, but there was something unsettling about the way he did it. 

“No thank you, I’m not interested.” 

“Come on, it’ll be fun. You won’t regret it.” You were getting irritated at this point, not only had he interrupted your conversation with Amber, but he wasn’t the only person to ignore your first no. 

“Again, I’m not interested.” You turned away from him hoping that if you didn’t look he’d just walk away. 

He placed his hand against the pillar and leaned in closer to you and you were about to show him how strong your disinterest was when you heard a familiar voice.

“How rude of me to keep you waiting for so long, I came as soon as I could.” You looked behind the man and saw Kaeya standing there in formal attire, his beauty seemed to know no limits - frustrating. 

“Kaeya!” You stood, disregarding everything and flashing him the brightest smile you could. 

“Am I too late for a dance?” He held out his hand to you and without hesitation you took it. He led you to the dance floor leaving behind a confused, dejected suitor and excited Amber in your wake. 

He spun you around as soon as you reached the dance floor, a hand resting on your hip and the other holding your hand. “You look stunning, did you get dressed up all for my sake?” He looked down at you and his smile made your legs weak. 

“Maybe … don’t let it go to your head.” 

“Too late.” He laughed and you forgot how much you missed him. It didn’t matter how long you waited, for him, you would wait an eternity. 

“I heard a rumor about you.” 

“What rumor?” You looked up at him and caught the mischief in his eyes. 

“That you haven’t danced with a single person here, is that true?” 

“... It is … I only …” You looked down at his chest before continuing. “I only wanted to dance with you.” 

His hands squeezed around your hip and you felt him pull you closer, “How lucky am I. Sorry I made you wait.” 

“No! You don’t have to apologize.” Your head shoots up to meet him, your voice a bit louder than you planned, but he doesn’t seem to mind. 

“Well let’s give them all a show, shall we? I mean, I have to make sure they know they’ll never stand a chance.” The two of you spend the rest of the night together, the jealousy of all those who wished they were Kaeya apparent as they started to fade away the longer the two of you held one another. Kaeya couldn’t be happier, he was completely fine with them dropping all hope of being yours - that space was for him and him alone. 

Diluc

You were having a great time enjoying the festivities. Practically everyone had been invited to the winery to celebrate the coming of the new season, it was one of the most popular events that could happen 

The two of you had been catching each other here and there, but with how busy he was taking care of everything, and how popular you were becoming as a dance partner or at least an interested dance partner, the two of you continued to drift past the other

Diluc was getting more and more irritated as the evening went on. There were so many things distracting him from where he desperately wanted to be. Instead of being at your side, he was busy hosting conversation after conversation with potential business partners, dealing with the drunkards who couldn’t seem to keep a responsible handle on their booze, and drifting between staff to make sure they had what they needed. 

Reasons like these were why he typically avoided hosting events, but it was always fruitful and he needed to keep old connections and build new ones. Still, when he had a second and his eyes drifted through the crowd to find you, he felt the heat rise in his chest as he watched you dancing in the arms of someone other than him. He wasn’t mad at you of course, he was frustrated with himself that he allowed others to touch you, you were just too kind - a trait he loved, but one that also pulled at his heart. 

“They are incredible.” He heard someone share with their friend. Glancing up from his work he saw just who they were in discussion about. 

“I wonder if they are seeing anyone?”

“I haven’t heard anything …Hey, If you don’t go for it, I will!” They laughed and while he couldn’t tell if their intentions held any weight, he hated that the idea was even present in their minds. Again, it was on him that people didn’t know you were seeing one another. The two of you looked like good friends with the way you respected his boundaries, and his reservation at being expressive with his affections for you. He clenched his jaw before walking away. 

--- 

Your legs were starting to ache from the amount of activity you were requesting of them. So many people had asked you to dance, and you didn’t want to be rude, as a guest of Diluc’s you wanted to make sure to be as kind and thoughtful as you could. However, with the amount of energy you were expending on everyone else you were starting to feel the effects of it all. So when several more, slightly persistent, patrons came to ask you to dance, you found yourself leaning to decline. 

“Excuse me,” they began, “If you would be so kind, I’d love to have the next dance with you.” You looked up at them and saw their nervous smile. It hurt to reject them, but you desperately wanted a break. 

“Thank you, but I’m going to have to respectfully decline.” You nodded your head and noticed there were other eager dance partners standing behind them. “I need to rest a bit, everyone has been so lively, and I’m running out of stamina.” You laugh in an attempt to make your rejection more lighthearted. 

“If you don’t want to dance, we can do something else!” They sat down next to you, their arms perched on the table, body leaning in way to close. They began to ask you questions, which was fine until they started to get more and more personal. You did your best to answer them, but when they asked the next question it was a challenge to get them to accept your response. 

“Everyone is dying to know,” another asked, you turned your head to them and waited, “are you seeing anyone?” 

You averted your gaze before responding, “Yes. I am.” 

“What!?” | “There is no way?” Their voices hit you at once and the loudness of their shouting drew eyes from other party-goers. They badgered you for a bit, all asking different questions at the same time, making it hard to hear them all. One stuck out and when they spoke the group got quiet. 

“I’ve never seen you with anyone.” You looked at them, their arms crossed and lips turned into a frown. “You’re pulling our legs.” 

“No, I really am seeing someone.” 

“I don’t believe it, you're just using that as an excuse.” Their words made you angry. You didn’t own them anything and you were being plenty kind, and, that kindness, was starting to grow thin. “Tell us who it is and then we will believe you.” They placed their hand on the table and looked directly into your eyes. You were about to answer them when you were interrupted by the person himself. 

“Y/N.” He spoke and the voices around the table died down, you looked at him and felt unbelievable relief. 

“Diluc.” You stood and walked toward him, his hand open for you, a gesture you were surprised by. Carefully, you placed your hand in his and scratched the side of your head. 

He looked at you, his eyes heavy on your skin. “Sorry I’ve been so busy.” 

“It’s okay, I don’t mind waiting.” His thumb rubbed the back of your hand, there was no way people couldn’t notice how much that affected you. 

“Hey! What’s going on … are the two of you …?” The person stood up and placed their hands on their hips. Their shouting drew the eyes of others again and everyone at the table stilled as they waited for a response. 

“Yes, and I ask that you don’t cause them any trouble; I won’t tolerate it.” His tone had a hint of a threat and it made your chest tight. There was a shockwave of disbelief that ran through the crowd, and the whispering made your ears burn. Diluc looked at you and you looked back, “Shall we?” 

“Mhm.” 

You followed after him, his broad shoulders a sight you never got tired of seeing and when the two of you held each other in movement to the music, you knew there would be no secret to your relationship now. Diluc made that clear from his words to his actions, and as the music began to fade and the sun dipped below the cliffs, he bravely showed his feelings for you as his lips touched your cheek. 

Childe 

He’d be all about showing you off to others - he wants to make it clear that you and he are an item no matter where you were

You went with him back to his home-town. It was a long trip, but so worth it to be with him, to see where he grew up. It took a while to get used to the chilly weather, and in fact you had to layer up extra carefully in order to bear the cold

His family had prepared for him a welcome party and had practically invited everyone they could to celebrate his return. Even if they knew it was only temporary, as his membership with the Fatui often kept him on the move, still, it was nice to feel so loved and welcomed with such a joyous event. 

They also knew he would be bringing someone special back with him. It was a demand which plastered every letter he received from his siblings. He knew if he didn’t bring you along there would be a reception colder than the snow that never melted. 

Of course, the two of you arrived hours before the start of the celebration. This gave his siblings and other family plenty of time to introduce themselves to you. They asked you question after question and when it was finally time to get ready for the party, you noticed how rough your voice had become. You definitely knew that Childe was a member of this family, he too knew how to wear out your voice. 

Childe changed clothes quickly, it had been so long since he wore those clothes from this region. As he looked in the mirror, the way the outfit rested snuggly against him, it made him even more nostalgic than he already was. He was waiting out in the large living room, his mind playing out memories of his childhood in this house when a sound caught his attention. 

His younger siblings giggled and shouted in excitement and as he turned to see what was all the fuss he felt the air in his lungs leave him. You were dressed in a traditional style outfit, your hair styled to fit your attire, hands fussing with the clothes you weren’t used to wearing. When you looked up at him and smiled shyly he felt an incredible urge to lock you behind closed doors and not let anyone lay their eyes on you. 

You walked toward him, ignoring the loudness of his siblings, “They said this would be okay … Do I … look alright?” 

“You look incredible.” 

“Thank you.” You drop your head, looking at your hands and he desperately wants to pull your face back to him, but is interrupted before he gets the chance. 

“Let’s go already, big brother!” Teucer shouts, already standing at the door. 

“Shall we?” Childe extends his elbow to you and you take it. 

---

He had been watching you dance with the members of his family for a while, and while it moved his heart to see you laughing and doing your best to learn the moves, he wanted to hold you in his arms himself. He wanted you, to have you experience his traditions first hand through him. So, when he couldn’t handle it any longer, he finally asked you to dance. 

“You all have been keeping them so busy … I’m going to steal them back now.” He exclaimed, barging into the game you had been playing with his younger siblings. 

“That’s not fair! You’ve been able to keep them to yourself for so long. We want to play more.” 

“You can after I’ve had my fun, let’s go.” He pulled you away and their cries sounded as you drifted further from them. 

“I was winning!” You exclaimed, laughing as he pulled you behind him.

“It’s my turn to have your attention.” He turned and pulled you close to him. You could feel his energy through his fingertips, it was familiar, like the time he saw you talking to that stranger in one of the bars of Liyue. 

“Childe, you can’t seriously be jealous of your family.” 

“You don’t know me at all, do you.” He spun you around and when you realized you were out on the dance floor you knew you were in trouble. 

“I’m not very good at this yet.” You try to explain to him but it falls on deaf ears. 

“I’ll teach you, just follow my lead.” He nodded to the musicians and they began to warm up, their music drowning out the chatter. Quickly, he leaned down and kissed your forehead before offering some last minute encouragement, “Let me show them all how spectacular you are.” 

He loved every second of this. The way your feet stumbled over his as he moved with you across the dance floor, the way your face flashed through different expressions: joy, concern, embarrassment, confidence. He couldn’t get enough of you, there was never enough of you. How was he ever going to be satiated with you around, especially when you were embracing his home, his family with such unbound acceptance. 

He wanted to swallow you up, he wanted to lock you to him for the rest of time, and the more you let him take, the stronger his desire became. 

As the music drifted into its final crescendo he lifted you in his arms and spun you around. There were countless couples surrounding you, all shouting and cheering on the excitement that rippled from the center of the dance floor. When he stopped and you slid a bit down his chest, your shoulders at the height of his chin, hands gripping tightly on his shoulders and face dipping down to him with a smile that told him everything he ever needed to know about you, he let the words fall from his mouth, finally being as honest as he ever had been. 

“I love you.” 

Albedo

Albedo wasn���t too fond of parties and get-togethers, it was a lot of energy to expend on the discussions or interactions which he’d much prefer to stay clear of, at least if he can get away with it. Still, he had promised to make an appearance, and when he saw you he was much more inclined to stay

He loved to watch you have a great time, you were so independent, doing things whenever you felt like it and experiencing life as it happened. Unless it was explicitly told to others, most wouldn’t have any idea that the two of you were seeing each other. Most of the time that wasn’t a problem, as your busy schedules kept you distracted, but as he watched you mingle with the citizens and partake in the festivities, and how you drew the attention of interested eyes, he was starting to get jealous

These sorts of festivals drew in travelers from all over Teyvat. Most of them only blew in with the wind while others stayed longer after the final banner was removed. It was something that almost everyone in Mondstadt took part in, even those who often didn’t get out much -- and he was one of them. 

Albedo made his way through the streets greeting citizens as he passed by, a quick nod or hello here and there. It was Sucrose who had encouraged him to take a break, reminding him that he was likely to see you down in the festivities. So, he put away his work for the day and headed out of the research labs toward the cheering below. 

When he saw it was like the sun shined on his face for the first time in days. He felt so warm and was eager to reach you. As he got closer, he couldn’t help but notice the many faces that were turned to you. It was strange but he tried not to let that oddity hender him in any way. That’s when he started to hear the conversation you were having with someone, the closeness of them to you, and the way they didn’t seem to leave you alone.

It wasn’t like him, either, to let his emotions get the better of him, but having to listen and watch others take notice of you, something inside of him grew and he wanted to make sure they knew their hands would never reach yours.

--

“Hey.” A man walked up to you and injected himself in the conversation you were having. You stopped what you were doing and glanced at him, curious. “Would you be interested in dancing with me?” 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m not much of a dancer.” You smiled at him and tried to let him down easy. In fact you’d love to dance, but only if it was with a particular person, and he didn’t seem to be around at the moment.

“It’s okay if you aren’t, I’m happy to teach you some moves.” He took a step closer and his first impression of friendliness was slipping into pushiness. 

You started to tap your fingers against your leg, the motion becoming more intense the closer he got. “Really, I’m not a good dancer, you’ll find more luck with someone else.” 

“Come on, it’ll be fun.” He reached for your hand but was blocked by another. When you looked at the owner and saw it was Albedo, your stomach flipped. 

“Albedo?” You turned to him, a smile on your face and relief in your voice. 

“Excuse me, but I believe they said they weren’t interested?” 

“... ha, what are you their boyfriend?” They laughed and continued talking, “Listen, why don’t you let …” 

“Yes, I am.” Albedo interjected, cutting the person off. 

“What?” 

“We are together.” They looked confused, their eyes moving back between yours and Albedo’s. Albedo looked down at you and noticed the expression on your face, “Is that not the right way to describe our relationship?”

“No! I mean, yes, that’s right.” You looked at the person and gestured to Albedo, “This is my boyfriend, I’m his … we’re together, yes.” You nodded your head way too many times, but the point seemed to get across to them anyway. They left in a huff and you watched them leave before standing and turning to Albedo. 

It was the first time the two of you had ever really said those words out loud - of course you knew in your minds that you were a couple … but to say the term which let the outside world know of your relationship, well it was so exciting 

You felt your face get hot as you remembered how factually he had spoken, how quickly he answered their question. You couldn’t help but pat your face and pinch your cheeks 

After that, the two of you wandered through the festival, eating delicious food, participating in the activities, laughing and having interesting discussions, as you always did 

When night started to drift over the event and only a few people remind in the city center, you found yourself back in the place where your time together started, music drifting through the air 

You had such an incredible day. There were times the two of you were so busy that you would go days without seeing one another, so to spend an entire afternoon together was like a gift. 

“Today was incredible.” You express, the excitement and joy from the day making you click your tongue against the roof of your mouth. 

“I can tell you had a good day.” Albedo replies, smiling at you. 

“Oh, really?” 

“Yeah, you click your tongue like that when you’re happy … sometimes when you’re focused.” 

“Ah, really! I’ve never noticed.” 

“I think it’s cute.” He stepped closer and grabbed your hand, his grip soft and gentle. “So I know you don’t like to … I was wondering … would you like to dance with me?” 

“Yes!” You answered much quicker than he expected, your voice startling him a little. You covered your mouth and laughed, your eyes squinting. 

“Let’s go.” You took his hand and walked until the space felt right. Albedo let go of you before turning to look at you. With an elegant bow he requested your hand once again, you returned the gesture, not wanting to be rude and also trying your best to not scream with excitement. The music swelled and your bodies moved closer, his hands wrapping around your back while yours draped over his shoulders. You rested your head against his chest and let the wonderful day drift into a wonderful night, you and Albedo sharing in a moment with one another. No worries, no interruptions, just one another swaying to the sweet mixture of music and distant conversations. 

“I’m glad you could make it today.” 

“Me too.”

[sabypoo]

SPOILER WARNING 4x07 MY FRIENDS

👀

I expected the "worst". The reviews are not very enthusiastic, neither for this episode, nor for the last one. I had time to swallow the information, to live with it.

I also had time to realize that if we had any Villaneve at any time, it would be in the last episode and certainly very shortly. It was hard, and long, to accept this evidence. But I ended up doing it.

Maybe that's why I came to this episode without much expectation, just knowing what was in store for us next.

Well I really liked this episode.

In a completely different way from episode 6. Because this episode doesn't have much in common with the previous one.

If a few touches of humor are present, it's really very discreet.

Because this episode 7 is an episode of introspection.

You will tell me "again?". It will obviously be the last. But it is above all the one that closes the hesitations. Which puts an end to doubts. Now we need to get to the end.

What did I love about this episode?

Well, so many things to be honest! I will try to list it all:

Konstantin, my love.

From the moment he receives the call from Irina, I understood that something was going to happen in this episode. And I was so happy to hear his daughter's voice, because shit, she's always been important so please give her some space in this finale! (by the way, I have a theory about it 😃)

The second clue is the scene where he dances. I hadn't expected Pam to be the one to kill him at all (though I should have known that from what Vil said to her in Episode 5). I loved that moment, because K was finally free and he wanted to redeem himself from his past life by saving at least one person from the Twelve...and it was this person who murdered him, thinking she was following orders from a dead one. This man died alone (ok with Pam but alone anyway), far from his family that he abandoned, from the love of his life, from Villanelle. I find it really sad, but logical for his character. Very nice moment.

Villanelle-Jane and Gunn-Tarzan

Aahaha, someone said that on a tweet and I laughed so hard!

Gunn is Pam's opposite. She's a born killer. Without mercy. Asocial. Dangerous. Interesting to see that Vil' is a mix of these two killers, even if clearly, she's closer to Gunn than to Pam. Gunn doesn't care about other people's opinions. She is a woman who exudes freedom and that is what Villanelle seeks so desperately. Be free.

So it seems clear that life in a forest is not a life for Villanelle. But that's not the point. And that's why we are entitled to this kiss (and surely more suggested) SO HOT from our two killers. Damn, Jodie Comer has a gift for kissing my god, what a fantasy this woman is 😩 x__x Whatever she does, she brings me to my knees lol

Eve-Hamlet.

This is probably my favorite part of this episode and not necessarily when I expected it.

Eve finally faces her trauma. And even if I loved the scene with Martin (you're my hero!) it's not the one that gave me the most emotion in this episode but the karaoke one.

The way of choosing to stage this moment...the flashbacks to a time when Eve seems happy, to her past where she was...to see her friends, Niko, Elena, and Bill again (damn Bill ❤️ miss you so much) , that's so genius! And as @mini-oddity explains so well, it's a monumental slap in the face.

Because yes, for the first time, we see what this whole thing cost Eve. We love this show, we love that she became darker, that she gets closer to Vil but we forgot what it was, a normal Eve, an Eve who smiles, who has fun, who lives! And it fucking hurts. It hurts to see these people that we love too and to know that they are no longer there, that they will never come back...I find it perfect for an end to the show, even though it serves the plot.

Besides, a big up all the same for Yusuf, whom I love, even if I hate that he "replaces" Vil. A good man, one of the few who makes Eve smile and at least for that, I say thank you for this.

The end of the episode:

Oooh I love it so much that we don't know anything about the last episode. I so love that we end that this pursuit of Gunn and his attack on Eve. I can't wait to know how this moment will unravel!

My theories/fears/expectations for this finale:

Irina will play a role in the attack/death of our two heroines.

It would be a legitimate revenge on the part of Konstantin's daughter to want to eliminate this "sister" who has taken all her father's attention. She follows in the footsteps of Vil' in the Twelve.

There will be so much to say and so little time to do it...

It is necessary that:

Pam joins Carolyn in delivering Konstantin's message

Vil and Eve get out of their mess with Gunn

The Villaneve relationship

V and E go to the meeting point

But before, surely they will have to meet Carolyn

And all that will arise as discussion and intrigue from these meetings before "the final confrontation"

Unpopular theory that will make people scream

I think we will have an end to the Villaneve relationship, one way or another, which will be final. Why?

Because Martin talks to Eve about someone who loves her, understands her etc... So obviously we think of Vil' but is it still true? I thought of Yusuf, who is extremely tolerant, who knows Eve really well too. Not that I want it to be Yusuf, but it would be healthier.

Also, Eve isn't looking to join Villanelle after seeing Martin. She is just about to make a clean sweep of it all. It's because of the text. It's because of Konstantin. She doesn’t identify Vil' as the person to join.

Finally, once the Gunn problem is settled, the fact remains that they still have not discussed. Villanelle still doesn't want to be in Eve's presence.

So here's what I think:

Villanelle wants her freedom more than anything. And Eve is not a form of freedom, it is another cage, a power that holds her back.

I think they were the trigger in each other's lives. But after all the journeys this season, it seems like they weren't meant to be together. They needed each other to know who they were and what they wanted out of life. Now that they know...what's left?

So if one of them dies, the other will come back to life.

If both die, it's only at the last moment that we'll get a burst from Villaneve, to wrap up the story.

And if none of them die, I think they'll say goodbye forever.

Sandra Oh talks about romance as something that will never come to fruition, that is dumbed down from the start. So I'm leaning towards a death or something that, once again, prevents V and E from being together. I doubt they will survive and go their own way but...KE tends to play on our nerves so nothing is impossible.

I talk about these theories but I have no desire for it to happen this way! So let's cross our fingers that the absence of an image for this last episode is synonymous with Villaneve. ❤️