#live from dice jail

[skullsnpineapples]

People think ttrpgs are about epic quests for the fate of good and evil, but really they’re about realizing that you never planned for an undead party member which throws a wrench in all the healing feats you’ve invested in so mid battle you just have to frantically douse a pile of bones with oil and shake it like you’re dressing a salad so the bones will reconstitute into your party member and you hopefully won’t all die.

[lostinlovingrevery]

Let Me Wash Your Sins Away (Let me Love You)

Old Man Logan X Reader Drabble

Plot: You love him, but he won't let you. Until one day he comes home, nearly on his deathbed, and he finally lets you take care of him the way you always craved

A/N: A drabble of an idea that popped in my head, this came out more angsty than I originally planned, and I also started getting tired towards as it's almost 1 in the morning for me, but I really wanted to finish it tonight, so it probably sound a little rushed towards the end. but I hope ya'll enjoy! I just wanna take care of Old Man Logan <3

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, descriptions of blood and gunshot wounds, kinda angsty, talks of worshiping, mentions of dirty thoughts and just being horny towards Logan in general but he won't let you (go to horny jail)

Word Count: 3113

You sat at a table, tapping your foot anxiously against the floor, as you glanced at the clock, for the tenth time in a row in the last five minutes. You pressed your palms to the table, in an attempt to ground yourself from the nausea-induced anxiety you were experiencing. Your brows were creased in worry, your lips pulled back tightly in a grimace. 

You were waiting for someone. Someone who somehow manages to fill you with an intense rush of emotions, both love-

And fear. 

Not of him, but of what is happening to him, what could happen to him.  

You met Logan a little less than a year ago, and he had managed to carve a space out in your

 heart, the quiet, reserved, and sometimes cranky old man that he is.

 He had found you and asked you for your help in taking care of Charles, your powers and excellent knowledge in handling mutants who couldn’t control- or lost control of their abilities had made you perfect for the job. You, of course, jumped at the opportunity to help. You didn’t know Charles Xavier personally, but you admired the work he’s done and quickly grew fond of the old man. Throughout the year, you attempted to get to know Logan, since you had to put your trust in him to keep you, Charles, and Caliban fed, sheltered, and safe. Logan was initially dismissive of you, and it wasn’t because he was a jerk but because he saw something with you he hadn’t felt in a long time and it terrified him, especially after 200 years of living and losing anyone and everyone he’s ever cared for. Life had beaten him to a pulp on the ground, yet he was still pushing himself up, not ready to give in just yet- and you were there, helping him up every time. You were persistent though, and you had carved a way into his heart as well. Yet it all remained unspoken. Logan was stubborn as a bull but so were you. You both carried on your daily routine, you took care of Charles, and you cooked and cleaned as well, while Logan worked, making money to keep food on the table, and afford Charles medicine.

There were moments though, soft moments with Logan that filled your heart. You always tried to make things easier on him, so that when he wasn’t working, he could truly rest. Sometimes, while you were preparing dinner, he’d come out of his room and sit with you, albeit silently. You could always feel his eyes on you even with your back turned but if you looked at him he’d look away. If you were in the living space, he’d sit out there with you, and if you caught him on a good day, you’d get some semblance of a conversation out of him. 

One day, out of the blue, he had come up behind you, closer than you ever felt him before, so close that you could feel his breath on your neck and the heat radiating off of him. His hand came around you, resting on the hand that was holding a pepper that you were dicing. His hand was rough and dry, covered in calluses- yet it was so careful and so gentle as he rested it over yours. You’d stop, your breath hitching and your heart pounding in your chest at his proximity. Your eyes would flit to his hand on yours, and you would see the deep scars resting on his knuckles where the sharp, killer adamantium claws would unsheathe themselves, and you felt yourself having to resist the urge to kiss each scar. His thumb would brush over your hand, and he would lower his lips to your ear, his breath sending waves of goosebumps over your skin.

“Thank you.” He’d say in a low voice, deep and mesmerizing. “For all that you do around here.” 

His scratchy beard would brush against your ear, as he turned his head, and pressed a kiss to your temple. He removed his hand from yours and left the area that was designated a kitchen in this old factory. You’d be left shaking, trying to catch your breath, not from fear, but just at the intimate moment he’d bless you with. 

There were many moments like that, but he’d never talk about it, because anytime you bring it up, he’d make you shut up with just a firm stare, and it led to something unspoken. There were countless moments similar to that you shared with him, each one never leading into anything more. You never kissed (on the lips), you never had sex, you barely even had a hug from him. Logan though, the sly dog he was, always found a way to get his lips on you, whether it was the top of your head, your cheek, the palm of your hand, your shoulder- hell he even got the back of your neck once. It was teasing, giving you just barely a taste of what it could be like. You picked up on it not long ago. He’d come up when you were distracted, say something sweet, and get his lips on you somewhere, and then walk away. It filled you to the brim with frustration because it always made you want more, yet he’d never allow you to do anything to him. You tried. You’ve tried to peck his cheek, his hand, anything. You’ve tried to initiate conversations and intimacy, you tried to be as sly as he was- but he’d always shut you down. The point is, that he’s stubborn, and he refuses to accept any affection from you, in any shape, way, or form. 

You practically worshipped Logan. He knew it too, there was no way he didn’t, with the yearning glances he catches from you, the way you’re so eager to help him, how you’d make his favorite meals, you’d pick up his favorite brand of cigars and leave it on his pillow for him to find when he comes home from work. You’d go out of your way to please him, and you knew him in every way that mattered. You didn’t need him to tell you how he was feeling because you could read his eyes easily. You knew that you could take good care of him. If only he’d let you. 

It’s okay though. With the way you felt about him, you didn’t mind his stubborn ways. You didn’t mind everything being unspoken. You knew that you would slowly chip away at his adamantium skeleton eventually. He would break finally, and let you love him the way he deserves, the way he always deserved. You’ve come to the acceptance that Logan had been through years of hurt, and that he wasn’t going to open up overnight. So as much as you desired him, physically, emotionally, spiritually, you just hoped and you prayed to whoever was listening- that you’d get the chance to make him happy before the man got himself killed. Or being the adamantium killed him first

You stared at the door, willing it to open, for Logan to walk in, his usual self, exhausted and grumpy as he shed his jacket. You’d ask him about his night, and he’d answer gruffly on whether it was good or bad. If you were lucky, he’d tell you about some annoying ass customer he had, and you’d smile and laugh, and then he’d barely crack a smile, because he got to make you laugh, even if it was just a moment. There were a few times you’d seen a hint of that beautiful smile breaking through, and every single time it took your breath away. 

You heard heavy footsteps, and you jumped up from your chair, almost knocking it down with how fast you moved, as you quickly ran to open the door and greet him. 

You weren’t expecting this.

He looked terrible. Worse than you've ever seen him. His usually nice suit was practically torn to shreds, blood, and dirt staining the white dress shirt. The bags under his eyes were deeper and darker than they were when he left hours ago. His salt and pepper hair was a mess. You could see his hands were shaking terribly, and he was leaning to one side, barely able to put his full weight on the other side. He looked at you, exhausted, and almost desperate as he stepped inside. You covered your mouth with your hand.

“Lo- Logan! What happened?” You finally exclaimed, quickly going to his side, and helping him walk further into the room. You pulled out a chair from the table and helped him sit- pulling off his jacket- making him groan in pain just from moving his shoulders and arms as you slid the jacket down his arms. You discarded it to the side, still focused on him. He just leaned forward, not responding to your question. You could see the bruises along his neck- and that’s when you spotted the holes- bullet holes that littered through his torso, have created torn holes throughout. “Logan-” You gasped as you observed his whole self. He barely grunted in acknowledgement to you. This was exactly what you were afraid of, some days, he’d come home fine, just cranky, and others-...This was the worst you’d seen him, and it made you fear the worst, terrified now that even if he gets through this, what will happen next time? You felt the tears begin to well up in your eyes, but you quickly swallowed them back, you couldn’t allow yourself to be overcome with emotion right now, especially since he needed you now. “Lo, C’mon.” You encourage, grabbing his arm to get him to stand. He wouldn’t at first, either because he was too weak, or he didn’t want to move. “Lo, baby, come on. Work with me here.” You said softly to him, and that seemed to reach him- as grunted, pushing himself off the chair- and you led him to the bathroom. You sat him on the toilet, while you turned to turn on the tap, letting it run to get warm, as you turned your attention back to Logan. 

He had tipped his head back, leaning against the back of the toilet, arms hanging limply over his thighs. His mouth hung open just a bit, as he took shallow breaths, his chest rising and falling with each, an occasional grunt of pain escaping him. You clenched your fists, pushing back the emotion you felt, as you moved to unbutton his dress shirt. His hand came up quickly, grabbing your wrists- somehow managing to still be so gentle as he grabbed you, and stopped you from continuing, and you looked up at him. His eyes hung half open, looking down at you

“Lo, let me take care of you.” You say firmly, your eyes staring back piercingly at him. “Please-” You brought your free hand to his cheek. Your thumb softly stroked over his cheekbone, where a small bruise was painted, his eyes fluttered shut at your touch, and slowly he released his grip on your wrist. 

You continued your mission. Carefully unbuttoning his dress shirt, you slid it down his arms in a similar fashion to his jacket. Next, you worked on the wife beater he wore underneath. You gently encouraged him to lift his arms upwards, allowing you to tear the ruined shirt from his skin. It made you gasp, seeing just how wrecked his torso was. You placed a hand over his chest gently, and his muscles flexed at your touch.

 “Did you…Expel the bullets already?” You asked quietly. He grunted and nodded quietly. You nodded with him. Then you looked down at his pants and took a deep breath. You brought your hand down, resting it on his knee. “Is it okay if I… help take these off of you?” You ask quietly. 

You could see his muscles flexing, tensing up, and holding like that. Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed harshly, and for a moment you wondered if you had gone too far, but then he nodded, flooding you with relief that you hadn’t pushed his boundaries. You brought your hands to his buckle, slowly unbuckling it, pulling the leather belt open, and then you moved to unbutton his pants. Your hands were practically shaking as you did so, your mind was going far off into places it shouldn’t. To be honest, this wasn’t quite how you imagined taking his belt- or pants off for the first time. Yet the moment, while not quite what you imagined, felt intimate nonetheless. You looked up at him. His eyes were shut tight, and his breathing was deeper, but more practiced like he was telling himself to breathe, it almost seemed that his nerves at your actions matched your own. That’s when it hit you. Nothing about this was sexual. You and Logan had your feelings for each other, both physical and emotional, but that was something to be addressed at another time. At this moment, he just needed you, to be what you’ve always been for him so you came into his life- his reason to keep going. You kneeled, working on his shoes, pulling each one off, and then his socks. You helped him stand, as he leaned against you, and you pulled down his pants- and his boxers. 

You kept your eyes away from that part of him, purely to be respectful. He hasn’t said anything, and you know he ain’t exactly shy. You wouldn’t want someone oogling at your body when you’re already in pain, and vulnerable, having to put your trust in someone taking care of you. Trust already wasn’t easy for Logan, and you weren’t about to break it or take advantage of it. 

He stepped into the tub and lowered inside it with your help. He did his best to silence his grunts and groans, trying not to be loud for your sake, but the warm water both soothed and stunned his body. His open wounds, only just now starting to heal, began to bleed into the water, as well as the dirt that clung to the lower half of his body slowly washed off. You grabbed a rag, dunked it into the water, and looked at him. You knew this moment was pivotal to your relationship with Logan, and it wasn’t because he was sitting here naked in front of you, or that he allowed you to undress him. It was because he was finally, finally allowing you to take care of him, the way you always wanted. You knew you needed to be slow, and gentle with him, as you began to wash over him, starting with his face, then his shoulders, his back, and finally his chest. Slow, soft circles as you began to wash the blood, the dirt, and the sins off of him. The water had become so dirty, that you had to drain the bathtub and refill it again, just to wash over him once more, this time with soap, as you ran your hands through his hair, scrubbing his scalp, before moving down to his shoulders, massaging at the tense knots you felt there. Logan had leaned his entire body towards you as you worked him over, eyes closed, an occasional pleased groan escaping him, whenever your fingers ran through his hair, or your hands brushed soothingly over an aching spot. 

“We’re almost done.” You say soothingly to him, as you squeeze the rag over his chest, excess water pouring out, washing away another layer of soap. “Then you can dry off, and get into bed, and rest. Okay?”

He turned his head to you. His eyes were more alert but relaxed. 

“You shouldn’t have to do this.” He muttered lowly, examining the details of your face. “This isn’t right. You…You shouldn’t be taking care of me, sweetheart. I don’t deserve it.” 

You looked at him, your expression turning into something soft. That’s why Logan refused you. He rejected your advances, all your attempts at getting close to him, because he didn’t believe he deserved it. You knew he struggled looking at himself like he was a good man, and you never understood why, because the Logan you knew, was a hero. Not because he served in wars, was a part of the xmen, and did all the glorious things that heroes did. He was a hero because despite all he went through, all the heartbreak and hurt- he still got up every day, and he took care of you. He took care of Charles. He kept enduring the hardships life threw at him- all for the sake of helping this one man, who saw potential in him and changed his whole life around. Logan could have left, he could have moved on from everything like he had for 200 years, but he stuck around for Charles, and you wondered if you’ve become a part of that reason too. 

You brought your hand to his cheek, looking him in the eyes. “Yes, you do Lo.” You say softly. There was so much more you wanted to say, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. He looked so exhausted, and so vulnerable. Now wasn’t the time for admitting feelings. “I want to do this. I want to take care of you, because you take care of me.” 

There was a moment of silence.

Logan brought his hand up to yours that cupped your cheek, and closed his eyes as he savored your touch. You kept him going. He avoided letting you reciprocate his affections because he believed you deserved better, that he didn’t deserve you and the worship he saw in your eyes every time you looked at him. How many nights has he resisted the urge to go into your room, climb into your bed, and show you how he really felt for you; Even tonight, as he got the shit beaten out of him, he thought about you- and he knew he had to make it back because the idea of leaving you alone in this world was too much to bear. He couldn’t let your hands touch him, your lips on his skin because he carried too many sins with him, and he wouldn’t want to ruin the good he sees in you. Now though, as you carefully wash him, gentle, caring, worshiping with every brush of the washrag against his skin, he felt that maybe he got it wrong. Maybe, instead of him protecting you from his sins…You could wash away his sins, and create something new, all for you to do as you please. 

Maybe now, he'll finally let you love him.

[leoruby-draws]

Next up is Owen Mercer aka Boomerang Jr, son of Captain Boomerang and the speedster of the TrWh Outlaw team! Get ready for another long post you guys, god my hands are hurting this week arrughhh.

Owen's a fun character to draw and has a fun personality in general. He's more angsty and dark in the comics but since Digger finds out about him early on, Owen's much more happy in this au. Digger and Owen have a fantastic father-son relationship and Owen really looks up to him. Digger is so happy he found Owen but is kinda frantic on how to raise him, being a villain isn't the best job for a dad. Not sure what age Digger discovers him, maybe 10 or so?

That mini version of Digger's outfit is what Owen would've worn if he was discovered even younger (he's 4-6 in that doodle), preteen Owen would've found that outfit a bit too silly for his tastes tho.

Honestly I'm not sure if Owen even lives with him, since Digger is a rogue and probably in jail more often than not, Owen might still be in foster care. I don't remember if Owen was shown to be adopted in the comics, he was already shown to be an adult. Btw, concerning Owen's age*, I'm slightly lowering his age to better fit with Jason's age group (he's 12 to Jason's 10). He, along with Jack Moore, are the oldest of the team, too bad Owen doesn't care about acting his age!

While Owen loves hanging out with his father, he also likes to hang out with the Flash aka Barry Allen. Barry has been mentoring Owen on and off (much to Wally's dismay) and has been slowly pushing him towards heroism. He's knows Owen's got a good heart and see's that he has the potential to access the speedforce. Owen's a character that's caught between two worlds, rogue and hero. Does he want to follow in his father's footsteps or go follow Barry?

What a conundrum, but this is a problem he had in the comics. His struggle to figure what to do with his life. Actually, I think I heard somewhere he was actually created with the intent to replace Wally as the Flash but they dropped that plot point, leaving him adrift in the comics. Let me know if that's wrong tho!

Captain Cold aka Leonard Snart isn't helping matters as you can see in that vague threat up there, I'd like to better define that relationship between those two but I'd need to read more comics with Leonard to do that.

Here I have Owen with some of his friends and his dad. I said in my last post with Rankorr, that he and Owen's friendship is a nod towards the famous Green Lantern/Flash partnership. Owen's always trying to get Jack to loosen up and have fun, Jack sometimes finds this annoying but is slowly letting Owen in his life. You can see up there Owen giving Jason a ride someplace, bet Jason wishes he took the bus lol.

You can see Owen gushing over Para Dice, his canonical girlfriend from Rebirth. Owen at some point meets her in Australia and has an instant crush on her. Para is a rather mysterious girl, but has taken a liken to Owen as well. Still too young for a proper romance tho, plus Owen would need to sharpen up his speed skills if he wants to make this LDR work.

There's Digger training Owen in the art of the boomerang, rogue or hero, any son of Cap. Boomerang will be a learn to toss a good boomerang!

Another drawing of these two, aren't they adorable?

Here's Owen bother poor Lisa Snart aka Golden Glider. Owen can be a little insensitive, tho he's never actually malicious in intent (usually). Always thought it was weird that Lisa was considered a candidate for Owen's mother, she didn't seem old enough for that (Owen was like early twenties). Anyways Lisa thinks he's an annoying little twerp...

...and not the only one. Here's Owen bothering poor Jesse. Also you can see I messed up on her shirt design, wasn't really thinking about what I was drawing I guess. I do that sometimes lol.

On the nature of Owen's and Jason's relationship, they seem to quite like each other. Neither of them had many friends before the team, and find easy camaraderie in having simple boyish fun together, which is something they kinda needed in life. You'll sometimes see them making complex plans for the next prank (Lori is invited as well).

In team dynamics, Jason can find Owen tendency to not take fights seriously kinda annoying. While Owen can sometimes disregard Jason's leadership (should Jason be leader that day I mean) due to him being younger. Friction isn't common between them though, perhaps because they got a lot in common.

From being caught between opposing morality, difficulty in finding a niche in the DC comics, even in trying to discover who their mothers are. Its can be validating to know people who understand what your going through.

Little more focus on Owen's relations, I said that Barry has been trying to steer Owen towards good but I also think that Barry just thinks that Owen is just a fun little guy in general. I'd think they get along pretty well, Wally looks so pissed tho. There was this one comic where Hal had Wally as a sidekick for a day and Barry was pretty jealous. Guess the reverse is happening here. Wally's a favored target for Owen's pranks, so this whole situation is just very annoying to him.

Here's Digger introducing Owen to the rogues, Leonard looks befuddled at all this (Digger got a girl preggo? crazy).

Wanted to have Digger and Owen watch cartoons together, so I looked up Australian cartoons, found something called Bluey. Apparently it's super popular, even adults like it. So I found some free cartoons on youtube and yeah. It really is that good. Look it up if you want to see some fun, relaxing cartoons with smart writing!

To finish off this mass of words, here's Owen being a goofball with Eddie and Jason. I'm slowly finding that Owen's got a pretty fun dynamic with most anyone I draw him with. So that's been fun.

All this and I still haven't gone into Meloni and Bart, but it's best if I leave that for later. Anyways, hoped you like all that!

*About Owen's age, the comics never specified what his age actually was. All I know he's in his twenties but still younger than Dick's age group. Young enough to be unsure of his place in the world, but old enough that his 'relationship' with Kara to be weird. I guess it'd be less weird in my au with a smaller age gap, but that's still not happening.

[leclsrc]

happy 3k mother! "quick speaking" and "animated" for dad!charles? thank you!

first words – cl16

Your daughter says her first word, but you’re the only one that seems to think so.

“Omygod omygod omygooood!”

The squeal from down the hall gradually grows louder as you bound into the living room, facing a roomful of your friends. You wave your phone around, where you’ve just hung up on your daughter’s babysitter, hopping up and down. “You guys, you’re not going to believe this. Felicite’s babysitter put her on the phone, and while I was saying goodnight, she said her first word!”

The game of Monopoly (you all wish you were cool enough for poker) ceases and Lily and Isa sit straighter, excitement drawn bright all over their faces. The seat directly in front of you shakes with how quick Charles gets up, smiling dopily. “Are you serious?!”

“Oh, yes! It was—oh, you guys, it was so cute.” You’re speaking so quick you can barely register what you’re saying.

“Okay, okay—ooh, okay, what’d she say?” Isa asks, clapping her hands together and gesturing for you to get to the point faster. 

“She said bloviate!” You exclaim with a flourish of your hands, smiling widely.

The room visibly deflates and the game picks back up instantly. Charles even sits back down.

You frown, mouth hung open in disdain instead of excitement now, huffing quietly as your friends express amusement over your fit of unwarranted thrill. You pout, tapping several times on your fiance’s shoulder. He moves his Monopoly piece out of jail before turning to you.

“Hel-lo? Isn’t that exciting?” You emphasize, humming.

He smiles. “Oui, it’s great, honey.” He turns back to examine his money.

You pat again. “Uh? You don’t sound excited!”

“Oh, I am. I am!” He stands, disengaging himself from the game and turning to you. He places both hands on either side of your waist. “But sweetie, bloviate is not a word.”

“What?” You place your hands around his neck and scoff, laughing. “Um, yes it is?”

“Okay,” he tests slowly, “then what does it mean?”

“I don’t know—hey, you don’t even speak full English, mister.” You roll your eyes. “I’m telling you, Charles, it’s a word.”

“I love you. But it isn’t.” Alex calls for Charles to roll his dice. “Count me out of this round, guys.”

“Sure, we’ll bloviate your money,” Carlos says casually, sipping a beer.

You sputter, wrestling out of Charles’ arms and pointing at Carlos with animated excitement. “See! He just said it! Carlos just said it, it’s a word! Say it again.”

He sips again, inhales a bit. Then smiles. “I was kidding. That word doesn’t exist.”

You groan, flipping him off and turning back to your fiance’s amused, fond face. He presses a sure kiss to the corner of your lip. “It’s so cute, honey, but it really is not a word. M’kay?” He kisses you again for good measure and leaves you standing idly as he resumes his turn.

You nearly can’t believe it—you had all taken this trip with friends to spend a weekend off, and not only do you physically miss Felicite’s first word, but nobody seems to believe it’s a word at all. You huff again. “I’m looking it up, Charles.”

“Honey—”

“Up, up, up!” You silence him. “This is the real deal, guy. You’re about to be proven so wrong. You’re going to wish you stayed on the call a few seconds longer.” You type, frenetic, for a definition on Google and start hollering once you’re given a result. Your verdict is right—it’s a word.

“A-ha!” Charles stands up again, stationing himself beside you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. He kisses your forehead, smiling and shutting his eyes with how adoring he is not only of his daughter, miles away, but of you, giddy over a word that sounded like total gibberish to him just a few seconds ago. Screw it if he’s a bit jealous. Your happiness makes up for it.

“What’s it mean?” Lily asks, rifling through her stack of cash.

“Um, let’s see…” You pause, clearing your throat to read. “‘To speak a lot in an annoying way as if you are very important.’”

Everyone hums and nods, a light round of cheers and applause at the confirmation of Felicite’s first word. You smile up at Charles, slotting your mouths together in a chaste kiss.

“Can we babysit Feli next week?” Alex chimes in. “By the looks of it, you’re leaving her with Max a bit too often.”

[uluthrek]

2 monopoly 2 au: driftmark edition

viserys, in his usual well meaning naïveté, proposes a family game night.

larys is the one who suggests monopoly because he loves watching the world burn (literally). he does not actually participate, though, instead acting as the bank and giving viserys financial advice so horrid the poor man ends up completely insolvent after ten minutes.

rhaenyra makes a bunch of shitty investments, somehow profits enough to not completely lose and gives larys the finger every time her event cards require her to pay even a cent. larys’ tax system, that some hundred years later will be adopted by one tyrion lannister and spectacularly blow up in his face, is not acknowledged by the realm’s delight, which kind of goes without saying.

daemon owns all brown, pink and light blue properties which end up making him a fortune. he, too, refuses to pay taxes. seated between rhaenyra and viserys, every once in a while, whenever no one is looking, he reaches across the table and steals their money. alicent is the only one who sees this and is subsequently gaslit into believing she’s going insane by him when he brings it up. rhaenyra refuses to count her money out of principle.

rhaenys is in a spectacularly bad mood and the one with her dragon in the closest proximity, which is why no one even bothers to ask her to pay when she lands on someone’s property. of course she doesn’t pay taxes.

rhaena and baela have teamed up, own all orange properties and are specifically hell bent on bankrupting aegon. they’re the only ones that rhaenys actually pays. they, too, evade taxes.

jacaerys announces insolvency after ten minutes and proposes to lucerys, who accepts. this does not better their financial situation whatsoever, considering they have inherited their mother’s financial incompetence but not her stupid luck with dice. at least they’re smart enough not to pay taxes.

alicent has two dollars to her name, is the only one who respects the tax system and is royally pissed off when she finds out that the only reason that rhaenyra has more money than her is her rampant tax evasion (“where is duty? where is sacrifice?”). after a ten minute tangent about how all she has ever done is what was expected of her and snide comments about the parentage of absolutely EVERYONE in the room with her, she is reminded by rhaenys that, considering larys’ utter leniency regarding the tax system, she could just… you know… stop paying? this causes alicent to excuse herself to the kitchen and scream for five minutes straight.

two minutes into the game, daeron is jailed and never released again.

aegon is so heavily indebted that he starts offering sexual favours in exchange for loan forgiveness. the tone in which larys says “i’ll hold you to that, sweet prince!” makes rhaena audibly retch.

helaena makes everyone’s lives hell with double hotels on all her properties. no one knows where she gets all that money from. halfway through the game, she reverts to only speaking latin. her voice has dropped several octaves. lightning strikes whenever she rolls the dice. alicent, back from her screaming break, starts quietly exorcising her under the table. everyone is relieved when she eventually declares something cryptic in what may just have been german and leaves, only to return half an hour later covered in primordial goo. she walks straight past everyone to her room and for once, the entirety of house targaryen sits in silent agreement: they will never speak of this again.

aemond fights lucerys, jacaerys, baela and rhaena tooth and nail over every single one of their properties while hurling every insult he can think of at them.

about two hours in, rhaenyra and daemon barter over pennsylvania avenue in a manner so intense it makes them both horny, and they excuse themselves to the guest room. the noises that follow permanently scar alicent and turn larys on so much he doesn’t notice aegon swiping twenty dollars from the bank, which he rolls into a joint as he disappears from the table.

rhaenys sacks both rhaenyra’s and daemon’s property and adds it to that of helaena, which she has already taken for herself twenty minutes ago, effectively making her the westerosi equivalent to jeff bezos.

aemond manages to buy the boardwalk and calls baela several slurs, none of them accurate to her gender identity, sexuality or mental wellbeing, which leads to lucerys, jacaerys and rhaena chasing him with both proverbial and literal pitchforks and torches, god knows where they found those, as he makes a break for it. criston cole, who has been lounging on alicent’s handpicked ikea loveseat, model söderhamn if you’re wondering, puts down the hurling match he’s been intently watching for the last two hours and follows them.

this turns out to be an excellent call, because only ten minutes later, a hysterically sobbing aemond is missing an eye, god knows how a very much seven year old lucerys has manged to enucleate him, and alicent, actually violently swearing for the first time in her fourtysomething years of life, drives him to the emergency room.

this leaves rhaenys and viserys at the table. “just like old times, huh?” viserys says, smiling. “cut the shit, bitch.” rhaenys retaliates as she swipes alicent’s remaining funds, then grabs the bank carton, and finally relieves viserys of his money and properties as well as his crown, declaring herself the winner.

[thelemoncoffee]

i think it's be really interesting if there was an au where DICE use to be proper criminals (still without killing ofc) but chilled the fuck out, and it comes back to haunt Kokichi later in life.

like hear me out- DICE has been away from crime for a few years now, the worst crimes they do are ocassional graffiti on abandoned buildings and being too loud at night. but in the past they did some proper non killing crimes that racked up enough the local police considered them a gang despite the lack of violence.

Kokichi now has become friends with Shuichi, and has fallen in love with him but hasn't confessed yet, and he regularly sticks around him and his friends while they work together as a small time cold case detective group. one day tho, they get ahold of DICE's cold case.

try as they might, the police were never able to pin down the identities of the members of DICE and when they quit serious crimes, the police decided it wasn't worth the headach to keep trying and the case went cold. now it was in the hands of these small, but very capable detectives who specialize in cold cases, and he's panicking.

what if they figure it out? what if Shuichi hates him because of it? Kaito and Maki have been wanting him to leave the group for a while now, will they use this as their ticket to do so for good? will they throw him and DICE into jail? all of it scares the shit out of Kokichi, all he wanted was to live his new life and eventually confess to Shuichi, but now his past has come to bite him in the ass and might just tear his life down.

i just thought an au where Kokichi quit crime to have a normal life then Shuichi got the cold case would be fun, but i'm also loosely basing this off an older post of mine so Kaito, Maki, and Kaede are all unoffical detectives along side Shuichi in this (they solve crimes illigally, vigilante detectives)

[rededgeevents]

Red Edge’s Super-Size Game Night

The mayor of Red Edge has kicked off 2025 with a bang—welcome to Life-Size Board Game Mania, an event like no other! Get ready to step into your favorite childhood games as the entire town transforms into a giant, interactive playground spread across its districts.

🌟 Red Edge Highlights:

Monopoly Madness Be the token as you traverse a life-size Monopoly board! Buy up properties, dodge jail, and try to outwit your opponents. But there’s a twist—if you land on the mayor’s spot, you’ll need to outrun him to keep your title for the day!

Chess Champions Arena The park becomes a massive chessboard where you are the pieces! Work with your team to checkmate the mayor’s king—or risk being “captured” and sent to the sidelines.

Operation Challenge Dive into the ultimate test of precision in this life-size version of Operation. Extract oversized bones and silly objects without setting off the alarm. Careful—the “patient” is prone to tantrums!

Trouble Town Bounce through the giant Trouble board as a human game piece. Hit the massive pop-o-matic bubble to roll your dice, but beware—land on the wrong spot, and it’s back to Start!

Don’t Wake the Mayor Sneak your way through the quietest part of town without waking the oversized "sleeping mayor." Step on the wrong spot, and you’ll hear a booming “ROAR” that sends you back to the beginning!

Battleship Bash Command your life-size fleet in a high-stakes game of Battleship. Dodge the "missiles" (beanbags) launched by the opposing team as you try to sink their ships.

🎲 And More! Explore Candyland in the Sweet District, climb a life-sized Chutes and Ladders near the hillside, or face off in Connect Four at the library plaza.

🎉 Prizes and Perks: Win mini-trophies and collect stamps from each game to redeem for fun prizes, including Red Edge merch, gift cards, and even a chance to shadow the mayor for a day!

🎶 Live Entertainment and Food: Enjoy music, food trucks, and themed snacks like giant “game piece” cookies and “dice” cupcakes.

Like normally, this event isn't mandatory, but highly recommended! If you do plan on going, pleasae tag all outfits, starters, paras, etc as rededgesupersizegamenight and rededgesupersizegamenight only! This event will take place from Friday, January 17th to Friday, January 31st Please like if you plan to attend!

[spoonsilverwire]

Little ol' me has come to ask for any and all information about the wonderful dunette

👉👈

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE MY DEAR FRIEND!!!!!

I guess I should update that relationship chart……

I’ll just rewrite it here!

Fun fact - Dunette is pretty easy to get along with once you get to know her a lil more.

Dice - Dunette

Dunette’s pretty cool with Dice. Sometimes she thinks he goes a little overboard with being rude to others (look who’s talking.) Dice is okay with Dunette, he wasn’t…expecting to meet somebody taller than him besides Ethan (boy from the rival biker boys gang who’s 7’1). Other than that they don’t talk very much unless Dice wants her to do something.

Jeff - Dunette

They get along! They’re not close but they do like each other’s company. Dunette’s pretty happy that Jeff is so caring towards the one he loves. Vice versa with Jeff ;D.

Varai - Dunette

Dunette loves varai (much to Jatay’s dismay), but it’s nothing romantic. It’s purely plantonic on Dunette’s side. She likes to offer help out Jeff whenever Varai regresses. Varai was very intimidated by Dunette when she first showed up into the gang, very scary lady. But she’s a softie.

Jatay - Dunette

Oh boy. When they first met, they were very uh. Violent towards each other. Got into a lot of fights. (But uh….Jatay likes getting beat up, and Dunette likes making people angry) so, I guess…..it just became their thing?? They’re still very violent towards one another, but I guess they can stand each other??? It’s a love hate relationship thing, but they still love each other (I guess. JATAY WHY ARE YOU SO CONFUSING)

More facts because I looooove her to deathhhh

As you can probably guess, very strong! She can pick up everyone in the gang if she wanted to! (Dice would kill her if she tried)

When she picked up Jatay one time, (sentenced him to air jail) he wouldn’t stop yelling and wiggling to get out of her grasp. She just held him until he calmed down. (An hour record time)

Her name isn’t Dunette Hardwire, she had it changed with what money she had before going homeless for a couple of years.

She’s Mexican and Italian, (dad was Mexican, mom was Italian) but she’s got a THICC country accent. She’s pretty fluent in Italian though thanks to her mom teaching her. She wasn’t close to her dad, she knows some Spanish, not much.

She likes anything pasta related(especially pesto pasta!) she just enjoys food in general. She’s not very picky at all. The only sighing she hates is olives. Not much of a fan on her boyfriend’s minced meat either. But she’ll eat it occasionally if she knows what animal they’re eating. Other wise she’ll downright refuse.

She has attempted to get Jatay to eat something other than just minced meat, to help him at least get SOME muscle on him. It didn’t work so she just gave up.

———

TW for child abuse, religious themes, toxic relationships and miscarriages. Under the cut.

Her parents were uh, not very good ppl. They were heavily religious and didn’t like how rebellious their daughter was. Lots of physical and emotional abuse. Her mom was more physically and emotionally abusive. Her dad was more neglectful, and occasionally jumped the “let’s yell at Dunette!!!!!!” Wagon. It was every other day they got into fights about something.

Her mother forced her to shave her face whenever her facial hair became prominent. Dunette never shaves now, just trimming it.

Speaking of which, she does have some religious trauma.

After a year of being on the street and living in an abandoned apartment. She met someone named Judo, they were also homeless for much different reasons.

Judo was a drug addict, but always promised Dunette they would get better. Eventually Dunette was just dumb enough to believe them and one thing led to another and Dunette had gotten pregnant. Judo was pretty abusive themself.

Judo disappeared after that, and Dunette was by herself again. But, after being in a homeless shelter, Dunette had an unfortunate thing happen to her. She had a miscarriage was showering one day, worst part is, she didn’t even know she was pregnant.

Ever since then, she always did want a kid but was really scared to try again in case the same happened again. So she’s just sticking to babying Itzy (and some occasion Varai.)

[hernakedmuse]

Wolf Moon

Word Count: 4,775

Warnings: It's very Rated M people, no minors no babies, this is going to be gory and sexual, this chapter only talk about sexual situations are mentioned.

Synopsis: I'm starting a couple series, one of them is a Twilight series, this one is Jasper x OC, my own OC named Kira Varady who is part witch and part Child of the Moon. I mix my own myths in here and in my Twilight they have fangs, sorry and they cry blood like True Blood.

Jasper feels constantly feeling lonely, he loves his family but he can't completely be himself with them they don't understand, and while Alice is a warm body (figure of speech), she doesn't have his heart, something that he thinks he lost long ago, until a pretty redhead sits down next to him in English.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kira

I would hate to live here.

I mean, I know Port Angeles is not Seattle but it at least has restaurants…I see not one restaurant here unless you count that little diner. I can understand why I smell some supernatural sort of thing here, something saccharine like diabetic. It’s the perfect sort of seclusion for a non-human to hide out, but so is Port Angeles, only Port Angeles has bars, restaurants, bookstores, movie theaters, stores beside ones that focus on camping.

But starting senior year thereafter what happened…that isn’t an option for me. The thought of walking those halls again makes me so sick to my stomach that I get a dizzy spell, and not a lot of things take me down. That day in May, it’ll be one I’ll never forget.

Will I miss seeing my friends? Of course, especially my very best one, Zach. How could I not miss someone who is uninhibitedly your best friend, someone who knows everything about you, including the bad…especially the bad. And Zachary Allison wholeheartedly accepts it, even embraces it a little. I love him for it, I’ll miss him for it. Sure I’ll see him outside of school, but when you’re a teenager most of your days are consumed by those walls, and I’ll be seeing those diamond blue eyes everyday.

I rolled down the window of my 1989 black Jeep Cherokee. The Cranberries poured out of my car, Empty wasn’t blasting like some obnoxious kid who thinks they’re in a movie, just loud enough for me to enjoy. It’s a clean car, and has a cherry tree hanging from the mirror along with pink fuzzy dice. My aunt got it for me for my 16th birthday, she’s too busy with her bookstore to take me to a lot of places. I parked in the absolute back of the parking lot of Forks High School, speed wasn’t a problem for me, and I needed time to sulk away from a crowd before dragging my feet in. New jail ,same sentence. 

I’m not much of a school girl, grades aren’t important to me, and college is the farthest thing from my mind. I know plenty of people like me, well not people…plenty of them are well respected scholars, but I really don’t know what I’m doing or going to do. People think once you’re 17 you’ll just have it, I don’t, maybe next year I’ll live in Budapest to stay close to my dad, I need to practice my astral projection anyway and my Hungarian is tökéletes.

I nursed my cold to-go cup of coffee, it’s French Vanilla and rose from my Aunt’s bookstore. Topped with whipped cream and a soft dusting of cinnamon, but I can’t drink it now. I did eat my croissant breakfast sandwich though, sausage, a folded egg, white american cheese, and rose raspberry jam. 

I promised my Aunt Liz I wouldn’t be late, I promised I’d try though, make her feel like she didn’t screw me up. I checked my makeup in the mirror and looked down at my outfit of choice, a sheer lime green button down blouse, only two buttons in the middle done, the rest undone revealing a good portion of my stomach and cleavage, the sleeves are a little long and bell like, and underneath the sheer gossamer material was a cropped black camisole, it matches the black mini skirt that hugged my big hips and backside, I hate how big my ass is but it didn’t stop me from wearing pretty clothes, I guess I’m a masochist. A chain belt with a crescent moon charm dangled from the belt down to my thigh, and black knee high boots supported my feet. I kept the hot rollers in my hair for two hours this morning. My intense copper red hair is heavy and mostly straight, and its length down to my waist makes it easy to keep the body. My lips are too big and my face too round, maybe Heartthrob by Revlon will make it look more subtle. My eyes are bold like everything else on my face, hooded and liquid gold, my eyelashes accentuated by mascara and that’s all.

I sprayed on my Victoria’s Secret body mist and pulled on my leather bomber jacket that was a little too big for my frame and popped in a piece of spearmint Extra gum. I grabbed my pastel lilac Jansport that was bedazzled with a million band pins, and keychains of fuzzy creatures. I got out of the Jeep and made sure it was locked before walking to my doom, and Zach wasn’t there to keep me sane. I put my headphones on and put on my Candlebox CD. I need to block out the sound so I turn it up loud. 

I should turn it on, hear the voices, let them in. To get a feel of my surroundings, but it failed me before, it failed me with him. Haven’t turned it back on sense, but even when I turn it off I still hear some, and with very loud music I can tune it out. 

I couldn’t turn off my nose though, above the usual human flesh which only entices me around a certain time of the month there was that sickly, treacly, syrupy, cloying, sugary smell again. My stom ach turned and I added another piece of gum to suppress the nausea, I really couldn’t smell it, sometimes I’ll smell it when I go to the city, like Seattle, like San Francisco, like Paris, like Budapest. But never in Port Angeles, and in Forks I’m surprised that I smell it so strongly, especially now.

I don’t know what it is, but I know it’s someone, someone not human. But then…then, another scent hit me as I passed through the parking lot, something softly sweet, not fully sweet, but like sweet oranges, aquatic musk, there’s a warm hint of cozy fresh linens being singed by burning embers. It was the most incredible scent in the world! Her mouth water but not in hunger, but in a want, a need for comfort or to be wrapped in like a blanket.

I closed my eyes and inhaled, I didn’t realize I stopped until someone collided into me. Someone who smells like strawberries and freesia but cut nicely with earthy lavender. But she wasn’t on the menu this morning. “I’m so sorry!”

I opened my eyes to see a nervous girl, an apologetic brunette with silky chocolate hair and espresso brown eyes with remorseful, peach lips. “Well it’s awfully nice to meet you sorry, I’m Kira, do you know where the office is in a place like this?” I gave her a teasing smile.

The girl awkwardly laughed, the apology disappearing from her expression and her shoulders began to relax a little. We were both getting looks, probably because she was talking to the new girl, I pushed my headphones down from my copper head. “I’m actually Bella, and I don’t- I-I just moved here.”

I was surprised, she fit in here nicely. “So am I, are you from Portland or Seattle?”

She wore a look of amusement on her face, she has a nice simple face and pretty eyes, like something you’d see in Dutch art, that kind of beauty. “Actually I’m from Phoenix, Arizona.”

My eyes widened comically in shock, making the girl full on laugh now. She looked like what you imagine a Pacific Northwesterner to look like.

“I know, I swear I’m probably part albino.”

“But it’s pretty, like Snow White.” I winced. “Was that rude? Sometimes I talk like an idiot, I swear I can be pretty smart sometimes.”

My voice didn’t help, with its squeakish yet raspy quality, I sounded like a total airhead, or a sick baby.

“I’m sure you can be, but really it’s okay. Where are you from, California?”

“Um” I giggled. “Actually, I live an hour away, Port Angeles most of my life. Before that though, I was from San Francisco for a day.” I’m naturally olive and tan, people assume I’m a native of California a lot because of it, but it’s just my Romani heritage on my dad’s side.

“We should swap stories, tell everyone I’m from Port Angeles and you’re from Phoenix.” She smiled.

I grinned. “That is tempting, but I’ve never been to Phoenix. I wonder why they call it that, I never heard of firebirds there.” I joked, but Bella looked at me like she thought I was serious.

“Let's find the office, I bet he knows.” I walked over to a tall and cute Asian guy who looked like he was right out of Weezer. When he looked at me his eyes widened and I could smell his blood heat up and hear his heart speed up, I could smell his arousal and saw his eyes fall to my ample cleavage, my double D’s always are a bit of a problem I swear. “Hi, I’m Kira, and this is Bella-”

“Varady and Swan, yeah I’m Eric Yorkie, a junior.” He looked at Bella with interest before returning his gaze to me. I sort of swayed in my stance as I waited for him to continue. “I can tell you guys everything you need to know about Forks High School.” He’s very enthusiastic, so far people here are friendlier than at my old high school. 

“I’d love to know where the office is, you’re perfect for the job Eric.” His pupils dilated when I said his name and I couldn't help but laugh. “Hey, are you in a band? You look like an Indie rocker, like Weezer or Smashing Pumpkins or Panic!At the Disco.”

Eric Yorkie looked far too excited at that, I hope he wouldn’t take what I said too seriously. He’s nice and he doesn’t seem to be the most confident, I like people to feel good about themselves. “I-I am, I am totally the right guy for that job- for any job!”

I giggled. “Great, come on Bella!”

Eric showed us the shortcut to the front office, taking us to Mrs. Cope, a sweet little curvy redhead lady who’s about middle aged and smells like Chantilly. “You must be Kira Varady and Isabella Swan!  Welcome to Forks High School!”

From all the voices in the hall, I know everyone expected us. It’s a little place, Forks, Washington. Where everyone knows everyone, and they’ve been here since forever. Bella and I are the most exciting thing that’s happening, and that’s odd being entertained so easily. 

“Here are your schedules and a map of the school, although I see Mr. Yorkie wouldn’t mind helping you with that.” She laughed goodnaturedly as she handed us all that we needed for this year. “And Kira don’t you worry, nothing ever happens here at Forks High School,” I felt my blood run cold as the woman mentioned the event, suddenly I could hardly breathe, of course she’d  know. “I heard about that awful tragedy at your last high school, and my niece Taylor goes to Port Angeles High School. You knew Travis Jones pretty well didn’t you? I’m really so sorry-”

“Yes well thank you Mrs. Cope, for all of this, we really have to find our classes!” I interrupted abruptly and walked right out of the office, I felt so overheated like my brain was going to fry.

I took a deep breath and turned around to face Bella with a false smile plastered onto my face. She looked like she wanted to ask what that was about, but she didn’t. Thank the stars for that. I couldn’t handle that sort of question right now. “I think this is where we go our separate ways, what class do you have?”

“English with Mr. Birdie, you?”

“Um, Literature as well, then Film Studies, Humanities, then lunch, P.E., Anatomy, Photography, Study Hall, and Economics. I’m so glad I’m a senior.” I looked around. “I’ll go and find it, it was really nice meeting you Bella.”

“You too, Kira!”

I made my way down the hall, my hearing was enhanced and I could hear people talk about me, admire me, judge me, some desiring with all their heart to hate me and want me.

“She’s so hot, that’s Kira Varady or however you pronounce it, after that kid got killed at Port Angeles High School she transferred here.”

“Man I don’t know if I could drive an hour out the way to school five days out of seven just because some kid got eaten.”

“Well I don’t mean to be a jerk but I don’t care what got her here, I’m just glad she is, look at that ass it’s like out of a rap video and those tits!”

“She’s kinda ridiculous looking, who dresses up THAT much you know?”

“Her ass looks a little fat in that skirt don’t you think?”

“Lauren, I think you’re jealous because you don’t have one!”

I may be able to turn the mind reading off, but my enhanced senses never go away. Sometimes I wish I was just normal.

I took a deep breath before I entered my classroom. Standing in front of the class was a tall woman with a brown bob and wearing a heavy cardigan and long dress, the classroom was covered in poetic and literary posters. I’m guessing this is Ms. Allen. Her face lit up, warm brown eyes with gentle aging around them just illuminated like a Christmas tree at the sight of me. “Class, our new student has arrived, this is Kira Varady!”

Jasper

I don’t know how many more times I can take this.

How many times am I supposed to be a senior in fucking high school?

Why can’t it ever be college, I think we do the college bit once every couple decades, I think bell bottoms were in fashion last time I got my PhD. At least there I’m surrounded by adults. It’s always high school, nothing is even a little bit interesting in high school, I know those shows like to make it something grand and life changing, they also like to make them more mature thinking, than they actually are. But that’s good television. I’m 158 years old, physically 19, but fuck I’m literally too old for this.

Carlisle said it’s good for me to get used to being around humans, try and adapt myself, try to not kill them when they’re around. You see, I’ve only been an animal drinker for 55 years, that’s not a long time in vampire years. I wasn’t a good man- or vampire, I didn’t feed off just the guilty, sometimes the innocent too and meeting Alice was the best thing that happened to me. She loves me, I think I love her, or I’m not sure I do, but she makes me feel less lonely, and that’s nice especially when adjusting. It’s like I said, 55 years isn’t an awfully long time in our world.

I feel like I’m being stabbed in the throat, and my gums ache something awful, I’m so hungry, and to make matters worse, the boys and some girls have been so fucking horny over the new girls, and as an empath…well that combined with my blood lust hasn’t been making this the easiest day.

I sit in this waste of a classroom, Ms. Allen telling us of our curriculum for this semester, we begin with The Scarlet Letter. I've read that damn book more times than I could remember. I envy all those who could be put down by a bullet, what I wouldn’t give for a .45 to the temple now. When I start spiraling like this, I usually grab Alice, sex sometimes is my only release, it certainly isn’t hunting Bambi.

When that door opened in Ms. Allen’s English class, it hit me. It violently slammed me in the face, the most intoxicating scent, a fragrance that makes my mouth water in a way of uncontrollable biological urge, it came to me in the smells of a botanical aroma, the harsh but beautiful thorns of a rose, a woodslike perfume a musk that ended in the sweet floral  essence of apple blossoms. And in walked the most, gorgeous…girl, creature, nymphlike female. A wild and unhinged beauty, light olive skin that looked impossibly soft to touch, with a doll-like face, round and heart-shaped all at once, the most perfectly round, china doll cheeks and an elegant pointed chin that hinted at Eastern European heritage. Lips, a mouth so full and plush, pillowy and painted a seductive, dusky nude a naked and suggestive color. Her nose is perfect and button-like, doll-like just like the rest of her face, hooded eyes like they crafted from glass and porcelain, marionette-like, with lashes of a figurine, dark and long and sweeping, that flutter to reveal liquid gold. A color I only see on those like us, hers are a butterscotch heaven, the richest shade of topaz. Her marionette face was framed by very long, waist-length thick hair, the color of the most intense copper, with auburn blended in giving it an unreal color inhuman, but despite her thin, perfectly round arch dark colored eyebrows, it is her natural color. It fell and rippled like heavy, expensive satin, I could faintly smell the heat from a styling tool off of them. It did make her bangs frame her forehead prettily. 

I’m not even a little bit ashamed to say that is a body I’ll never forget, that will haunt my waking dreams, none I’ve seen in my 158 years walking this Earth, naturally at least. She’s soft, her curves soft, a waist tiny enough to separate top to bottom, a perky overflowing cleavage straining against a tiny camisole beneath a flowing, sheer top with a color that goes too well with her hair and her eyes and brings out the exotic olive of her skin, and a skirt that didn’t try to hide an ass I’d love to see bouncing on my cock. I’m allowed to have these lewd thoughts, they’re my lewd thoughts after all, although my surrogate brother would disagree, it’s a good thing he’s playing junior.

Kira Varady.

Kira Varady.

Kira, keer-rah

Verra-dee

A name almost as pretty as her, Kira is a Greek name more common in Russia if I can remember, meaning mistress, and Varady is Hungarian. Probably a location name, like most over there. 

I crave to know all about her just as much as I crave her body, I crave those porn star lips wrapped around my cock, I crave to fill her up to my balls in all her holes and to feel her soft curves in my harsh hands, and yet…I didn’t crave her blood, not even a little bit, not at all.

She’s talking, oh and her voice does nothing but encourage my passionate lust, I swallowed in a hunger that doesn’t concern bodily fluids..well…

“Hi, I’m Kira. I’m from like an hour away, and my nose ring is real, I’ve been asked so…well anyway, I’m going to sit.” She laughed breathily in a way that would have put Marilyn to shame, and I would know…I’d definitely know about good ol’ Norma Jean.

When she spoke it was like a raspy, gooey goodness. Light and squeaky with a smokiness. Perfect phone voice. 

I haven’t been feeling so uncontrollably lustful in so long, she’s so tantalizing, and yet her blood doesn't do it for me. What is she? She isn’t very sweet smelling, she’s not one of us but she isn’t human either.

“Uh, well thank you Kira, for that interesting…introduction, you’ll sit beside Jasper.” Ms. Allen instructed.

“That would be me, Jasper Hale.” I said to her once the maenad sat beside me. It’s the only thing I could describe her as, if I ever met one, maybe they don’t exist, but if they did, I think they’d be intoxicating and wild like her.

My voice was more grizzly than I intended, but it was already hoarse from the constant blood hunger in teenage hell, and now with lust I sound like a chainsmoker from Atlantic City.

The amount of jealousy from all around the room was so strong, I wish I could tell them to just stop feeling, but we all know how that would end. She sat down and her eyes met mine, gold on gold, butterscotch meets harvest-dipped dandelion. It was an intense ritual, ritual is how I would describe it because it felt religious, and it felt like we were definitely performing something. It was like mating through eye contact, it was heated, it was humid, it was hot and sticky and if I could remember what it was like to breathe, I’d have a hard time doing it right now. Her smell, her aroma, my eyes almost rolled back, I wanted to feed on her without bleeding her dry. But I wanted to bleed her dry until there’s nothing but me left in her veins. I don’t want to exist without her anymore. When I leave this classroom I need it to be with her, when she inhales and exhales her next breath it better be of me, I want to occupy her oxygen. I want her to choke if I’m not there, I could feel her. I can really feel her right now, I can feel her unbridled passion and her wild lust. I can feel her life-threatening need for me. I could cry from relief, but blood pouring from my eyes would certainly cause an uproar. 

My eyes dared to drop, down to her pouty lips that parted attractively, down to her pulsing throat, down to her smooth, silken, and plump cleavage that was like Italian art.  I made a point. I made it obvious to her where I was looking before raising my eyes back to hers, and I watched her watch me lick my lips and spread my legs in my seat. I was so tempted to ask if she’d like a seat. 

I now want more than anything to spill the blood of any person who allowed themselves to desire her. She’s mine. The major and I made a unanimous vote on account of her definitely being the one, I feel it. He feels it. She was born for me, made for me, her destiny leads down one road and it leads to me. And I am the same, all I went through all of the right the wrong, and all in between was so I could be guided to her. My purpose.

“I think…wait, what were we talking about?” She asked in a breathless laugh, and I wanted to consume her so badly. I wanted to sink my teeth anywhere I can reach so all will know she is mine.

I laughed a little myself,and her heart raced. “You’re Kira Varady, I’m Jasper Hale, and that is what we were talking about, then I was going to ask to see your schedule.”

She smiled, it was innocent and candied. “You are the only person outside of Hungary who pronounced my last name correctly.”

“I’ve cheated, I’ve visited Budapest once.” In the 1910s briefly.

Her eyes widened and it made me ache. “Wow, I go there once a year…” She trailed off, most people would assume she isn’t a smart girl, with her coquettish voice and featherbrain fox appearance, but she hides so much of herself I can tell. She does it for survival, I’d know.  She looked at me again and giggled. “You have an accent, are you from the south?”

“Texas, Galveston specifically.” I smirked. We spoke in hushed tones, like we were sharing secrets…maybe we are. “And-” I slipped her schedule from her desk into my hand as I mentally memorized it. “We have the same schedule.” Or we will after this class, I need to do a little compelling. 

I felt emotions of relief and joy ooze from her, like she felt it too like I knew I was her life line. “Thank Goddess, I literally have lost like two tour guides already and it’s not even the second period!” 

I watched her in awe like she was living art, and you know what? She sort of was, she really was. John William Waterhouse’s medieval maidens couldn’t compare. “Well you won’t lose me Kira.” I purred her name and felt her shiver. “Where are you from, Budapest?” I teased.

“No, just an hour away in Port Angeles. But I was conceived in Budapest in a commune.”

I rose my brows. My wild beauty was created in wild passion, how fitting, and Eastern European woods are known for supernatural happenings, perhaps the answers lie there.

“Somehow I know the story doesn’t end there.” I was encouraged.

She got that faraway look again. “It doesn’t, I was born in a house on Haight-Ashbury, and ended up back in Transdanubia, but then I somehow found Port Angeles with my Aunt Liz.” She giggled but it didn’t reach her eyes and she shook her head. “I’m really not that interesting.”

“I seriously doubt that.” I didn’t let her look away this time.

She didn’t smile or giggle, she just stared, letting her walls drop just a little bit, I could feel her feel comfort in me, nothing tastes sweeter. “Do you still live in Port Angeles?” I won’t allow her to confess in a room full of strangers.

A warm smile was born on her sultry lips as she looked down. “Yes, in an old Victorian on the edge of town…but,” Her smile ran away again. “I don’t go there anymore.” She said slowly and looked away. “The school there…I don’t.” I felt disgust and horror from her and wanted to burn the entire world to take those feelings away. She laughed and shook her head. “Um wow, I’m sorry I just totally zoned out again didn’t I? I know that’s really annoying.”

“Don’t be silly, you could never annoy me.”

“You sound so sure for someone who just met me.”

“Lets just say, I’m good at reading people.”

We were talking for so long, I didn’t realize for how long until the bell rang. I wasn’t lying about us having the same class next, but I’ll have to do some seriously glamoring to get away with the rest.

We both stood up and I took her books and backpack so she wouldn't carry anything. She smiled so radiantly. “You don’t have to carry my things.”

“Please, I can’t feel a thing, these weigh nothing.”

She giggled. “You do look like you work out.”

I smirked at her, noticing my physique. “Yeah but I’m not a meathead, probably the only Texas boy who didn’t grow up with football. I like to hike.”

Her eyes lit up. “I too, like to delve into…nature…the woods are so…calming.”

Call me crazy, but when she spoke spaced out like that, it was kind of really hot. “We should go together sometime, where’s your locker?”

She shrugged with a careless smile. “I dunno, but I have the number.”

“Well lets find it together.”

We quickly did, and I helped her pack her things in. When she closed her door I leaned against it looking down into her toffee-colored heavenly eyes. “Kira…”

She exhaled breathily, her breasts rose and fell beautifully as she looked up into my eyes. “Jasper…”

“Kira, give me your hand.”

She rose a soft palm, nails painted iridescent dark green and fingers adorn with celestial symbols. Between that and the mention of woods, I’d bet my Kira is a little pagan, or wants to be one. I took a sharpie and wrote my name and cell phone number in her palm. 

“That tickles.” She giggled.

She’s so fucking cute. “Do you have a cell?”

She shook her head adorably, I’ll definitely have to get her one. “I read palms you know.” 

Oh she’s definitely an interesting little beauty. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, maybe I can read yours sometime?”

I smiled, she flirted very interestingly, made me want more, like giving me little bites. I leaned in, but Alice came over and interrupted. I was torn between guilt and anger.

I growled and then looked apologetic. 

“Hey Jazz, can we talk?”

My wild beauty looked very jealous and I was glad she felt claim over me, but I also don't want her to feel like she had to fight for me, she doesn’t. I looked at her tenderly. “I’ll be right back okay? Promise.”

And with that sad look and lying smile from her, I disappeared from her with Alice.

[geekthefreakout]

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves was great, y'all: A Review

Spoiler Free: This movie was utterly sincere, and that was refreshing as anything. No meta-humor, no self-referential nonsense that would make it feel like it was embarrassed to be what it was. The characters were great and stand-out. The party as a whole struck the perfect balance that made it feel as chaotic as an actual DnD campaign would be. The humor hits pretty much all of the time, with several laugh-out-loud moments and many more little chuckles and smiles.

The story is simple, but feels true to a campaign as well. You have the main quest and the side quests. The rules around magic are fairly well defined. Their are a couple of elements regarding character arcs and story that could have been tweaked or added in that might have made it feel more complete or satisfying, but nothing huge. I found it to be emotionally satisfying, at the very least.

You can tell that there was a lot of love put into this movie. The cast are all having the time of their lives, and it's important (to me) to note that the VFX team never skimp on any character/species detail. The halflings are appropriately proportioned to the world and people around them. The tiefling (though a little tame looking for a tiefling) maintains having a tail in every scene, without them making a big deal about the fact that she has one.

This is a great movie for DnD fans. If you are not familiar with Dungeons and Dragons or TTRPGs in general, however, I still don't feel you will be missing much. It's an adventure fantasy, and a very accessible one at that, with found family and the power of self-respect and love driving its core.

8.5/10 for me.

Spoilers under the cut- and it's LONG, so be ready for that.

SPOILER TIME BABYYYYYY. This will be a breakdown of the movie's plot with my own insights- sometimes I will use DnD terminology as in my head I was imagining each roll of the dice. Scroll down to the end if you just want to see what I would have changed about the movie.

The way we are introduced to our two primary main characters, Edgin and Holga, is very fun. We meet them in a prison as they acquire a burly new cellmate, who they each deal with in ways that make it very clear who and what they are- Edgin being a smooth-talking, rakish Bard with a devil-may-care attitude, and Holga is a blunt yet loyal Barbarian with a love of potatoes who was exiled from her clan for falling in love with an outsider. We quickly segue into their escape from prison at their pardon-hearing, where we get to learn their back story: Edgin was once an honorable man and a Harper (an order who fights against evil while asking for nothing in return) who lost his wife to a Red Wizard attack and decided to cast aside his oath and honor both to become a thief.

He has a daughter who survived that attack, and Holga has helped him to raise her. Refreshingly, there is absolutely zero sexual or romantic tension between Edgin and Holga, who he refers to explicitly as being like a sister to him. They wound up in jail when on a quest to rob a vault which contained a Tablet of Reawakening, which Edgin planned to use to return his wife to life. They were betrayed by the witch Sofina (played with maximum menace by Daisy Head), who captured them in a time stop. Edgin entrusted the tablet and care of his daughter to his friend and party-member, Forge the rogue and con.

They escape on the wings of an unfortunate judge named Jonathan, who is an Aarakorca, despite the fact that Edgin totally passed the charisma check and the panel of judges were actually swayed to approve the pardon. This is when I knew I would love this movie.

Holga and Edgin set out to reunite with Kira (Chloe Coleman, who does great but is noticeably much lighter skinned than the actresses who played her as a baby and toddler), Edgin's daughter. Their daughter, really. They find her with Forge (played with delightful charm and sliminess by Hugh Grant), who has risen to become Lord of Neverwinter. She is angry with Edgin for abandoning her, because it turns out the Forge has been feeding her quite a different story for what the primary objective of that fateful quest was: she thinks they went after a Tablet of Riches. Edwig tries to explain himself, but Kira (who is happy enough to see Holga, at least) won't listen, saying that the bigger problem is that Edwig keeps speaking like it wasn't his fault. Forge, still in league with Sofina, has betrayed them, and secretly sends them to be executed, at which point Holga does that which Barbarians do so well and they escape, now with a new mission: to take down Forge and Sofina and rescue Kira from their clutches.

They set out to build their party, first picking up their friend Simon the Sorcerer (played adorably by Justice Smith), a half-elf whose self-doubt and bumbling ways often inhibit his ability to do more than cantrips reliably. He was also betrayed by Forge, but managed to escape and has been in hiding. He helps lead them to their next party member, a Tiefling Druid named Doric (awesome job, Sophia Lillis), who is also a wildshape. She distrusts humans, who have always let her down, but is loyal to the wood elves who took her in and whose lands have been under attack by Forge. Simon explains that he had once attempted to court her, but she said that his lack of self-esteem just made her sad. Thankfully, this romantic subplot, should it count as that, takes up very little space in the narrative, which is part of why it works so well.

Using Doric's wildshape abilities, they are able to learn that Forge has revived a kind of gladiatorial game intended to bring the city (and the city's riches) together, and that the vault which presumably holds the Tablet of Reawakening is protected by magic that is far too powerful for Simon to counter without the Helm of Disjunction. We also get more glimpses of Sofina's power here- she is able to sense Doric and nearly captures and kills her on a fast-paced chase through the city where Doric changes from fly to mouse to cat to bird to deer in order to escape. Finally, the viewers get to see (though the party doesn't) that Sofina isn't just a witch- she is a Red Wizard and Thayan too, and she plans to turn Neverwinter's people into members of the Red Wizard's undead army.

Simon doesn't think think that taking down Sofina is possible, as he wasn't able to match her magic before and doesn't feel that he's improved. He insists that magic cannot be used to solve every problem, his own magic least of all. Attuning to the Helm alone might take them years, even if they do manage to find it. Edwig insists that Simon is underestimating himself, and advises him not to tell the party of his doubts to keep up morale.

After an amusing diversion to Holga's ex-husband, Marlamin the Halfling (played by Bradley Cooper) and then to a sacred burial ground of her people to discover the fate of the Helm (DnD magic rules are used to great effect here), the party learns that they must seek out a Thayan named Xenk Yendar (played by a hilariously sincere and smoking hot Rege-Jean Page), a renowned Paladin that everyone except a disgruntled Edgin has heard of. Xenk runs a vibe check on Edgin, and apparently detects a Good alignment. He agrees to help them get the Helm, on the condition that Edgin swears to redistribute the wealth in Forge's vault to the people of Neverwinter and that he holds on to the Harper book- a book which Edgin had thrown onto his wife's funeral pyre after he forsook his vows as one. "You may have forsaken your oath, but your oath has not forsaken you." Xenk says to a stubborn Edgin.

We also learn that Xenk escaped the Red Wizard's take over of the Thayan's by the skin of his teeth as a child and lost his parents to it. This flashback helps the viewer (and the party, though they don't quite figure it out until later) what Sofina is planning for Neverwinter- releasing the red blight of death (honestly I cannot remember the real name, but it's an evil red cloud that turns people into red wizard zombies). We see here that the Blight has an area of effect, and that managing to get just outside of it is what saved Xenk from his parents' fate.

While retrieving the Helm, the party runs in with Sofina's cronies. Xenk takes them out in a fantastic display of badassery, but it cannot last long- it takes more power than what Xenk has to kill that which is already dead, and they begin to rise. However, they quickly cease being the primary threat, as their chaos has awoken a dragon. Hilariously, this is not the dragon seen in so much of the promotional material, but rather a very pudgy one, who still manages to wreak quite a bit of destruction with its large body and fire breath. Here we get to see some uses of the Hither-Thither staff, which Holga had believed was a walking stick she'd taken for her ex-husband. It allows Simon to open portals, as long as the destination is within 500 meters and a place that he can see. Edgin's brains are put to good use as well, as the party escapes the dragon with the helm.

At this point, Xenk leaves the party despite many requests for him to stay because he is much more capable than they are, telling them that it is not his quest, but theirs. There is a very funny moment as they watch him walk away, where Edgin notes that he walks in an unnaturally straight line and wonders if he will alter it to go around a rock in his path. He doesn't- he walks straight over the rock. That's paladin symbolism for you. Simon attempts to attune to the Helm while the party takes a break on the beach, but finds he is consistently repelled by a vision of his ancestor, who was a great Wizard and tells Simon that he is not worthy of wielding the helm's power. Edgin urges him to keep trying, but after several attempts where the Helm literally blasts itself off of him, Simon turns on Edgin and rants that he told him from the outset that he couldn't do it and that it wouldn't work, but Edgin refused to listen, and that Edgin is doing what he always does- making plans that don't work and then blaming other people for it. While Holga takes this in stride, Doric and Simon are both very angry. I was afraid for a moment that this would be one of those times where they split the party for Drama, a trope that I *hate*... but I needn't have worried.

Edgin then makes a compelling speech about how they are all failing in some way, and that they have to keep failing, because the moment that they fail and give up is when they really fail. He gives several examples about the rest of the party, and when Simon presses him about his own failures, he calls himself the King of Failures. He's failed as a father, as a husband, as a leader. He reveals that the Red Wizards that killed his wife were only able to find her because of a treasure he took while he was a Harper, not knowing that the treasures had tracking spells on them. It was his fault that his wife was killed in the first place. But Edgin can't give up, he says, because if he does then it will have all been for nothing. He then sits down to think of a new plan. Charisma check passes, because the party rallies behind him.

The party plans to use the Hither-Thither staff to get into the vault, figuring that if they leave a portal open on a piece of treasure, it will go into the vault and they will be able to get in that way. Edgin also suggests that they take the Helm as well and that Simon try again, saying that he actually does believe Simon can do it, because when it's do or die he always comes through. "You're at your strongest when you think you're at your weakest" he tells Simon.

They get into the citadel with a great scene wherein Edgin seems to distract the guards with a song on his lute- an excellent use of your bard and a chance for Chris Pine to show off his vocal charming chops. It turns out to be an illusion cast by Simon, however, who looses hold of it as he gets his foot stuck in a pothole. The way the illusion starts to skip like a broken record and then distort in disturbingly cartoonish ways is done very well by the actors and the VFX team, and certainly got a laugh in the theater.

After running through Plan C (which is the same as Plan A, but plan A has a stink on it) and Plan D (the same as plan B, but plan B has a stink on it), the party almost succeeds, but Sofina and Forge outwit them. Anyone who has ever played DnD or any TTRPG for that matter will be very familiar with how these plans come together, fall apart, and then come together again. The portal doesn't let Doric into the vault, but under the arena, where the treasures are being loaded onto a boat. She is knocked out and captured.

Simon manages to get to the vault and, faced with death should he fail, he puts on the helm and stands up to the vision of his ancestor, saying that he IS worthy of the power and he's sick of being told he is not. The vision turns into one of Simon himself and congratulates him- he has attuned successfully. He uses the Helm to cancel out the magic on the vault and to repel the guards attacking him, only to find that the vault is empty. He and Holga are captured.

Edgin finds Kira and explains to her that Forge has been lying, that he wants her to come away with him. He makes a pretty perfect apology, acknowledging that the Tablet of Reawakening was about getting back his wife rather than Kira's mom, as Kira had never known her. Unfortunately, this apology is wasted, as he is actually talking to a disguised Sofina, who captures him. Forge assures him that Kira is safe and will continue to be, as Forge really does care for her as if she were his own, but that Edgin has to die. Edgin asks that rather than being executed, the party be allowed to participate in the games that will be beginning shortly, to give them a chance. Forge is reluctant, saying that it would be kinder to just kill them now, but Sofina insists on granting that request, presumably so that she can take them into her undead army when she unleashes the blight.

The party enters the maze in the arena where the games are taking place, with Simon and Doric inhibited by magic-suppressing cuffs. They face monsters and other traps, but with each of them playing to their strengths and with Doric managing to lose her cuff, they make it to the center. Edgin finally makes a successful Detect Trap and recognizes that they won't be safe there, and Doric is able to get them out with some clever shape shifting and modest risk taking.

Combining their information, the party realizes both what Sofina is planning and what Forge is planning. Forge doesn't intend to stay in Neverwinter- he plans to let Sofina do her evil thing while he makes off with Kira and the treasure, which is why it was stored at the docks under the arena rather than in the vault. Interestingly enough, Sofina is completely aware of this, but has no interest in stopping him. In fact, she is so annoyed by him that she just wants him to get on his boat and leave. This is a rare example of two villains who have completely different motivations and goals, but whose plans align just enough to have them work together. There is no betrayal between them-- they each act exactly as the other expects them to, and they aren't bothered by it. The only problem is that it leads to there being two climaxes, and one is more rushed than the other.

The party is able to stop Forge at his boat, where he immediately threatens Kira's life if the party doesn't give him his treasure. This speeds Kira along to realizing that he has been the bad guy and to forgiving her father. They overpower Forge and seem to be making a getaway when they notice the signs of Sofina beginning the Blight. Edgin remembers his promise to Xenk, and has Simon use the Hither-Thither spell to send all the treasure on the boat to come spilling out of a hot air balloon, thus redistributing it to the people and sending the citizens of Neverwinter out of the arena to catch the falling treasure, and therefore outside of the Blight's area of effect. Forge regains access to the boat just in time to see all of his loot falling away from it, leaving him in despair.

That's the first climax, and at this point everyone's character arcs are mostly resolved. Simon is more confident, Kira is happy to be with Holga and Edgin again, and Edgin kept his promise. They have thwarted Sofina's plans. But, Sofina's still alive and kicking and we haven't had that boss battle yet, so time for Climax #2!

As Sofina rages, Edgin tells Kira to use a pendant that Holga had stolen for her when she was younger to stay invisible, hidden, and safe during the fight. Sofina rains fire down on the party, but Simon has Taken a Level in Badass and is able to match her for a short time. Doric transforms into an Owlbear to act as the Hulk of the group, and Holga proves herself proficient with several weapons. Edgin, who isn't much of a fighter, does get a few hits in with his lute (love that for him, though). It's a fast-paced fight, with every member of the party contributing, and which thankfully DOESN'T adhere to DnD rules (combat system not good for narrative storytelling). However, Sofina goes down pretty easily. For just a moment, it looks like all is lost as Sofina uses her time-stop, which Simon says he is still unable to counter... except it's all fine. Kira (little rogue in training that she is), manages to slap a magic-suppressing cuff onto Sofina while she's invisible, because as it turns out Simon WAS able to counter the time-stop. Owlbear!Doric then Hulksmashes Sofina to death (I murmured "puny god" to myself in the theater) and the day is saved... except that Holga has been mortally wounded.

If you're like my brother and I, you probably called back when they first confirmed that the Tablet of Reawakening still existed that one of the party was going to die and that they would use the Tablet (one use only) on that party member rather than on Edgin's wife. You might have even called it being Holga, which I did around the time that she mentions having dreamed of being buried in a sacred burial ground with her tribesmen, despite having been exiled. It's very predictable- but that's not always a bad thing.

Edgin and Holga sing a drinking song as she dies, with Kira sobbing and holding her, saying that she needs her. Holga tells them not to mourn, because she's happy to die a hero- that's her character arc, minimal though it has been. Edgin pulls out the tablet and reminds his daughter that they can only use it once- and of course she nods, because to her Holga is the mother she's known. The tablet returns her to life, and everyone is happy and it's very heartwarming.

From there, it's a quick wrap-up. The former Lord of Neverwinter, who was kept in a coma by Sofina, wakes up and grants legal protection to Doric's people and their lands. The party all receive medals. Doric acknowledges that humans are not all bad, and also agrees to let Simon have another shot at courting her now that he's got more confidence. Forge, holding on to the one piece of treasure he hadn't lost, is captured by Xenk, and we end on him trying to convince the same judges at the same prison Edgin and Holga were at in the beginning that all turned out for the best, and he's done a lot of reflection and so should really be pardoned.

He does NOT pass the charisma check. And that's it, really, aside from a funny mid-credits tag.

So, I think I went over most of the things that I loved already. Here is WHAT I WOULD CHANGE:

I think Forge turning on Kira happened very quickly and didn't fully make sense, outside of being a vehicle for getting her to trust her dad again very quickly. I would have preferred for Kira to be more of a character with more agency. To this end, I would have had her use her invisibility pendant (which she has the whole time and says that she often uses to sneak around the castle) earlier. She could have realized that Sofina was a Red Wizard, or overheard some pieces of the puzzle that may not have clarified everything for her, but at least sewn the seeds of doubt. That, or had her flat out not believe that Holga and Edgin would leave her a second time, even if she is still angry at Edgin.

I might also try and consolidate the climaxes a bit more- while I think Forge was a fun villain, thwarting him and Sofina so separately makes the fight with Sofina seem a little extraneous, though the movie's fast pacing helps with this.

Doric is mostly a static character- she's a lot of fun and I enjoy her, but she doesn't really have much of an arc. She has a goal when she joins the party, and at the end of the movie that goal is achieved.

Holga's arc gets less attention than it should- she doesn't really change throughout the movie either. I would have liked to see either someone for her tribe or her ex-husband there at the end when everyone was getting their awards, so that she could have made good on showing them what she was worth. (That said, I thought it was great that there weren't any bad feelings between her and Marlamin, who has moved on from her but genuinely wishes her happiness).

Finally, my brother noted (though I myself didn't really have this problem) that Simon's Badass Level Up at the 11th hour felt disengenous, because it's one thing to say that he has trouble with big magic because of his poor self-esteem, and quite another for him to suddenly be able to match Sofina's might. His spells are not as impressive as hers, but he does hold his own, with the party also serving as distractions to her.

And... that's the review. Hope you liked it.

[skullsnpineapples]

There are two kinds of romance in my pathfinder party.

a slow burn between a character and an NPC where there is a long complex backstory and much of it is unspoken

two player characters who are super oppositional and seem to hate each other decide to go for a romance for the meme of it

[ashintheairlikesnow]

BBU Community Days

@bbu-on-the-side * {Day 8} Barcode

-

CW: Police harassment, derogatory/demeaning language, prostitution, implied dubcon

The asshole officer shines a flashlight right in his face, half-blinding him, and he winces and turns his face away. "What the fuck-"

"I said turn it over. Show me."

"Show you what?"

The officer sighs, sounding wearied, and the runaway pet wants to punch him in his stupid smug face. He thinks he's tired? He didn't spend the last day hiding from pouring rain that has streets flooded and people in rain boots half-wading when they have to go out. "You know what. Turn your wrist over and show me your barcode."

"I don't have to do anything." The pet's chin juts out, eyes narrowed to slits against the glare of light still aimed right at him. "Come back with a fucking warrant."

"Okay, I would, but you aren't in a house. You aren't even inside. This is an alley. This is public space and you are causing discomfort to the people who actually do live here. Come on, Boxie, wrist out. Let me see it."

"I don't have a fucking barcode. What, is it illegal to sit now? I'm just sitting. I'm not harming anyone."

The officer looks like he might just sigh so heavily with irritation that he blacks out. The pet waits, a little hopeful, but it doesn't happen. "Listen. Look. You get up and walk away, I'll pretend I never saw you. Nice people in this neighborhood, they don't want you whoring around for your dinner, got it?"

His heart stops - for just a second - before it beats again. He swallows, hard. Some of his defiance has faded before he finds a retort. "What-... What makes you think-"

"I've seen you before, buddy. Down by the warehouse district."

"Why not arrest my John?"

"Your John?"

"Well, how the hell did you think I got here from the warehouse district in the first place, numbnuts? We were having a good time til his fucking girlfriend called."

"... Jesus. Come on. Up you go, get outta here and I won't even look. Just get."

He doesn't have a choice. The runaway pushes himself uneasily to his feet, watching as the cop backs up to give him some space. There's that, at least.

His stomach growls.

When did he eat last? Shit. A day ago? Two?

The flashlight is pointed down, now, and he can see the cop's face. Honestly, he's seen worse. The guy looks pretty fit, too. And Jesus, he's so hungry...

"I don't suppose you'd give me a ride," He says, cocking his head to the side. Defiance slips into practiced seduction with only a shiver of self-loathing down his spine. "I can pay for it."

"Don't bribe me. You don't have a fucking cent or you wouldn't be a whore, Boxie."

"I didn't say I'd pay with money." He smiles, like this is a silly flirty joke between them. "Trust me, I'm good at this. I'm so good. Don't you ever wonder what fucking a Romantic is like? Like a Lamborghini with spread legs, yeah? You drive me back to the warehouse district, you don't check my barcode, and I make this the best shift you've worked in days..."

The cop thinks, jaw working, looking off to one side and then the other. The pet watches him take off his wedding ring and slip it into his pocket with a mix of triumph and hatred.

"Right. Yeah. Get in the back. We'll find a place to park."

His heart thumps and his wrist itches under the ink as he slides into the back of the squad car, with doors that don't open from the inside and a screen he can't break through. Maybe he'll be murdered and dumped in a ditch somewhere. Maybe the cop will just take him to jail.

Or maybe he really will drive him back.

It's always a roll of the dice when he offers himself for a ride.

Sooner or later he'll run out of luck.

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

Danganronpa if it worked like Stick of Truth

Apollo: South Park au! Clown: OMG it's like a small town au but INSANE Apollo: It's just a chaotic mess Clown: It really would One direction it could could be it's just danganronpa, but they're kids now, but also half of canon "game" is just them making things up Like play pretend! But the bears real Apollo: Who'd be who? I think Shuichi might be Kyle or Stan lmao. Maki might be Craig Oooo like stick of truth style? Clown: Yeah!! Exactly!! Also hmm, Kenny's Miu! Because that's funny Kiibo is butters Cause he gets bullied all the time I do not wanna make kokichi cartman I will cry aksbdkdh I wanna say shuichi could be Stan because of the depression lmao Junko can be cartman/hj If shuichis Stan would that make ouma wendy???

Apollo: Oh god does this mean he gets puked on? Clown: I FORGOR ABOUT THAT OH NOOOO Shuichi feels butterflies in his tummy and thinks he may be dying Danganronpa being a game all the local kids play is just, really fun. Like how in stick of truth they had the main classes and their leaders. They can have something similiar! (Am I saying this so ouma can keep child version of dice?? Yeah) There's a despair and hope side run by junko and Makoto respectively, maybe Tho I don't know what the goal of the game would be? Also hajime going "I have every skill actually" is so funny

Apollo: Probably who can out do each other in dramatics. It'd probably be a murder mystery probably where Junko pulls random people aside and assigns them killer and victim and they have to kill/die in a certain timeframe. Junko would help organize the clues and stuff and they'd hold the trials after. Also, imagine if Izuru was Hajime's twin who's like a prodigy or whatever but didn't want to play so Hajime just went I'll be talented enough for the both of us! Clown: Ouma dramatic recreation of his very serious death in the middle of the street gets interrupted by a car driving by so they scramble to wait on the sidewalk before returning to wailing dramatically Apollo: He finds fake blood and covers himself in it before putting like a bit of metal or something over himself but hears a honk and just throws the metal off and rushes to the side of the road, 'bleeding out' The town is so used to their antics that they don't even blink at the sight of Kokichi covered in blood Clown: Kaitos pulling him along like "go! Gogogogo!!" Shuichi's uncle is letting them use his garage as Shuichi's "ultimate lab" The adults are lowkey invested in the story line ajdvskbdk

Apollo: DICE gets in with planning deaths and stuff because they find it hilarious to watch everyone pretending to be dead/executed. They eventually get banned after everyone realised that Kokichi might be getting clues from them as to who the killer is "How am I meant to be the Ultimate Supreme Leader if you've banned my gang??? " Clown: Ouma keeps complaining saying it was totally fair because one of his skills is sleuthing. So of course he needed info!! "Fine!! They're in JAIL actually!! The reason so many of hajimes classmates survived is because he kept finding "revives" (a bear shaped cookie, or something) and just passed them out to his class He ran out before he could give one to chiaki… Apollo: Yes! Loser is finding all the boosts and is just handing them out Rip Chiaki Kokichi sulks for awhile until one of DICE tell him to grow up and cause hell for them 'Chapter 4.3' freaked everyone out because none of them expected Gonta and Kokichi to team up and kill Miu

Clown: YEAAHH, shuichis frantically flipping through the "rulebook" a spiral notebook junko gave them. "Is this allowed?? Is this allowed???" Their parents are watching from the kitchen window as they witness ouma and gonta put on the act of their goddamn toddler lives Apollo: They're so proud Shuichi panicked and told Kokichi he'd be alone after the trial and started apologizing almost in tears afterwards Clown: Kokichi was holding back his own tear tbh lmao Apollo: Shuichi was just panicking and wanted to seem cool by playing along with everyone. The second it was done, he run after Kokichi to apologize and tell him he didn't mean it Clown: Ouma sniffling and going "we're enemies right now." Meanwhile shuichis just [crying cat emoji] Apollo: DICE is not pleased but allow him to continue playing. Shuichi almost has a breakdown at Kokichi's death because he briefly forgets how dramatic the guy is and thought he went over the top with his death because of what he said Clown: THE CHILDHOOD ANGST His depressive episode when kaito was kidnapped?? That's him sniveling and going "I dont wanna play anymore" while everyone tries to convince him to keep going

Apollo: Kokichi huffs and gives Kaito his phone so he and Shuichi can talk when it's dark. Kaito isn't that shocked to see that Kokichi's room is an utter mess. He is a bit confused and possibly lowkey concerned when he sees the 'evidence' he's hoarded Clown: He's really going all out for the game akshdjhd His "lab" where shuichi finds evidence of previous killing games is a tent in his backyard OMG he's dramatically writing his "this is not a will" note with kaito behind him as he gets really into character Apollo: Kaito is concerned ™ with how in character Kokichi can be but at the same time is slightly jealous in awe because he wants to be like that. Sure he can play into the whole hero thing but the flu is making it hard to keep in character. Kokichi was the one to convince him to use it for the game. Mikan isn't happy because Kaito needs rest to recover quickly but here he is, working out each night before his grandparents call him home and fighting Kokichi He gave his grandparents puppy dog eyes and they let him play as long as he doesn't overdo it Clown: He didn't wanna miss out on the game!! His goatee is a piece of paper he taped to his chin To look "cooler" Apollo: Kokichi keeps trying to steal it as a 'joke', saying he can just draw one for you! Kaito naturally does not trust him Clown: Oumas trying to sharpie his face man They have a sleepover for chapter 5 and he finally succeeds Apollo: The real reason Kaito agreed to kill him /hj

[Clown went to sleep after that, and it's precisely when I bust in with my character assignments, so late it's no longer fashionable & I don't even have a coffee]

Me: Maki Craig, Miu Tweek would make so much sense actually, both how they used to fight all the time & the later relationship, Shuichi would be Stan for sure, Kokichi can be Kyle [haruruma was an attempt at Kai bait ngl] [about Kiibo as Butters] that I can wholeheartedly agree with no, Wendy is Kaede, duh okay, I am beginning to see the Junko Cartman, but for it to be really him, there needs to me more cringefail element, so I suggest Tsumugi, she has way more delulu [this is probably the only instance I used that word and I won't do it again, but also. I did use that because a character like Cartman can be genuinely delusional, like when it seemed he was just trying to take credit for the gay fish joke, until near the end of the episode when it becomes clear he believes his version of the story & is willing to die for it, it's just one of many examples when he just convinces himself of something so strongly, so I do not mean it lightheartedly] energy and that's a requirement here, we're talking about the most disturbed child on the playground Rantaro should be the french? guy that pisses of Stan because he's close to Wendy Kenny Ryoma would work, he's a tortured soul (I would consider Kenny Kokichi but I don't want to) Kaito really doesn't fit anyone, maybe he could be Clyde? (but honestly that gang would be hard to assign anyone)

Chee: theyre both fucking crying like kids do I can see it in my head, Shu apologizing and Ko just keeps repeating that theyre enemies (hes like half messing w him too) WHSHHS THE FLU IN PLACE OF HIS DISEASE IM FUCKING CRYING I LOVE THIS SO SO MUCH, Kokichi in this au reminds me of how Mysterion takes his superhero act so seriously imagine if Izuru who doesnt wanna join is the one watching out for the cars for them, he had a little chair and calls out to the others when a car comes by also Junko starting this whole huge game probably bc shes bored sounds funny

Apollo: He just has a megaphone and yells in the most bored voice I love Mysterion so much and I can see Kokichi acting sorta like him "Move or not. I don't care if you get squished for real."

Chee: I honestly just want Ko, Shu & Kaede to be Style & Wendy bc theyre my fav trios WHSHHS BUT HONESTLY KOKICHI KENNY IS COOL BUT HMM do we gotta assign them kids ? :0 Me: you know I said Kyle Kokichi for Style reasons what if I said Pip & Damien Kirumaki? Maki is a good fit for Damien, Pip is Pip [maybe it'd be better to pick a due from a different class tho, idk which assignment is better for Maki] the way main cast treats Pip would have to be adjusted but it's not like there's a better fit for Kirumi amongst those children Angie could be that girl that turned out to be a living ad

Clown: LESLIE??? Omg I love that Cartman tsumugi and Kyle kokichi at each other's throats for real

[xtinaangelicax]

David Chiem Ultimate Rebel: Talentswap AU

Casually going to drop my headcanons for an Ultimate Rebel David talentswap. I've surprisingly never seen this one done yet (tho I could be wrong) and I think it has neat potential!

His parents, and elder sister Diana, were all killed when he was 14: Instead of a water poisoning accident as has been (I think?) implied with Xander's folks, it was a murder.

Since I headcanon David's father as a respected political speaker (who's also debatably shady- cough-) I'll say that it was a very targeted assassination on the Chiem family.

Just like Xander, David was the only survivor. It happened at one of his very own speeches. He watched it happen.

David's home-life was never… exemplary, not all the mansions or adoring public eyes in the world could make it so. Yet, things were actually beginning to look up for him and his family for once in this AU. Beginning to change. And then it all was ripped away.

Rumors circulate that Duke Spurling, a political rival of David's father, may have been involved. No one can confirm or deny this, but the man was too powerful to be convicted.

David. Is. Livid. Hope dangled in his face, and then shredded apart in front of his eyes. He really has nothing to lose anymore. While I think giving up may be his first impulse... soon, he'd grow spiteful. Depression is an ever-present stage of his grief. So is anger.

Using the tens of thousands of followers that he's already accumulated in his early speaking career (which would soon reach millions and then worldwide) David devises an organization. He is the leader of this organization, and gains much of the intel himself: But just to make things more efficient, gain easier assistance for himself in matters he can't pull off alone, and stir up some more insanity, he takes quite full advantage of his local lunatic fringe.

This organization is basically an undercover activism group, carefully comprised of fans of his insane enough to do his bidding, yet competent enough to not get caught spying, wealthy enough to bail him out of jail if he so needs in emergency, so on. This fame of his is a resource that Xander didn't have at the same age. He manipulates it skillfully. (If you're familiar with DRV3, think DICE.)

It is called Stardust. Nobody knows of it… until they're intended to.

David publicly snaps live on stage one day, and provides damning evidence to condemn Duke Spurling for the targeted assassination of his family. From then on, his speeches and public brand morpth from sunshiny and inspiring, into gritty, snapping wake-up calls.

David's manager? Locked up too. You can find a laundry list of reasons to legally get someone thrown in the hole, if you're crafty enough. Man was a controlling piece of dirt anyway. Ah; Who knew being liberated and in charge of his life for once felt this good!

(...He will never forget Diana taking that bullet in his place.)

Society is split 50/50 on what to think of David after this. Many are turned off by his sudden switch-around from the gentle-spoken boy he once was, while many others sympathize with his motives or are stirred into action or even mobs and protests by his sharp, brazen words. This controversy sparks massive public debate.

By age 18, the frigging government itself is mildly intimidated by this unhinged blue man.

…And that's how I'd theorize David would become the Ultimate Rebel in a Talentswap AU. Thank you for coming to my ted talk. I'm happy how it turned out and had fun making it up!! ;D Thoughts?

[stvlti]

Snippet from my untitled Blue Beetle & Teen Titans rejects fic :)

Click. Snap. Click. Snap.

They're sat inside a Big Belly Burger, waiting for their order of fries. A female singer he doesn't recognise croons Spanglish over weirdly retro beats on the speakers. Eddie is fidgeting with the catch on his now-useless slider phone, out of nerves or boredom, he doesn't know.

The first thing they did once they got into town was to buy a mobile phone. It's strange, but there aren't many payphones around, and whatever happened to them while they were in the Bleed and subsequently in their fall back to Earth must have fried their cellphones. Luckily, he found one of those rundown stores selling spare electronics for cheap that accepts cash and doesn't ask questions. At least one thing hasn't changed.

Click. Snap. Click. Snap.

The phone they bought is a palm-sized thing with a wide touch-screen, one of those smart-phone models that only came out last year, and yet the store owner seemed almost happy to part with it. "It's ancient," he'd said in a comfortingly thick accent, "I was about to chuck it out with the garbage. I'd sell it to you for free, chiquito." Things only get stranger from there. It took less than a minute for Khaji to jail break the phone and recalibrate itself to the local network. They tried his family's numbers again, even tried the Titans Tower secure line, but no dice. What Jaime found on the internet was even less reassuring.

Click. Snap. Click. Snap.

"Hey, Eddie."

The fidgeting stops.

"Could you go grab us some drinks? I need a minute alone with the scarab."

"Sure...?" Eddie throws another glance at Jaime, not quite hiding his worry as he slides out of his seat.

[ You were vexed by his opening and shutting of his phone case. ]

"I didn't realise it was state the obvious hour."

Khaji Da does not respond. Jaime rubs his temple.

"Sorry, sorry. Yes, I'm stressed. Tell me you have some good news, at least."

[ You are still alive, as is Eddie Bloomberg. You have enough money to acquire sustenance for another week, during which I can help you find a job and — ]

"Khaji. I need to get home."

[ You are technically in your hometown. ]

"But it's not the El Paso I know. Right? Tell me I'm not crazy."

[ Jaime Reyes is correct. Based on our quick search of the government domains, social network platforms and news sites, the Reyes family never lived in El Paso. There is no record of your parents or extended family in the state registry. Your name does not exist in the class registers of your high school. Your sister— ]

"Also doesn't exist! I know! I got it the first time." Jaime looks over to the self-service machine. What is taking Eddie so long? "I asked you for good news, Khaji."

[ Actually, your sister exists. Milagro Reyes, age 18, enrolled in Edge Keys High School. According to her posts on Instagram, she was last seen at the Kord Centre Mall — ]

"Did you say eighteen? And where the heck is Edge Key?"

[ I have some more good news. While there is no record of your other family members in the state of Texas, a Reyes Auto Repair Shop was recently removed from the business registry in Edge Key, Greater Palmera City. ]

"What? We have to go to Edge Key!"

"What's Edge Key?" Eddie sets a tray down, almost spilling the two extra-large cups of soda balanced precariously on it. The fries look tiny in comparison.

"That's what I'm trying to find out. Khaji, can you — hold on, I'm syncing you to the phone so Eddie can see."

The phone lights up, and Jaime expects Khaji's words to crawl across the screen like text messages the way he's done the few times Jaime tried to sync the scarab to his old phone via blue-tooth. Instead, the phone starts talking in a lady computer voice.

"Your scarab was a chick this whole time?" Eddie exclaims, the half-chewed fry in his hand forgotten.

"What? No! I didn't even know it could speak like this."

"I simply utilised this phone's built-in text-to-speech system. It is not my problem that the manufacturers could only imagine AI voices as female."

"I think it just insulted every super-computer in the cape community..."

"Anyway, the coordinates?"

[ There is one last thing you should know before you go, Jaime Reyes. The Blue Beetle was last sighted in Palmera City six hours ago. ]

The boys pause and look at each other.

"Show me, Khaji."

And on the screen of the phone appears a crisp, 4K picture of a guy in a costume that looks exactly like him, mid-flight in the streets of a city he's never been to.

[grcetxt]

When your money makes you money What's the well-to-do, to do But buy another pony with the interest they accrue? While right across the bay they're making fortunes on the go Over there, the rich are 'riche' And the money is 'nouveau'

Oh, the nouveau riche are reaching for the sceptre of the kings And some are high above us You've got Gatsby pulling strings Faster and faster, no slowing them down Lucky boy, you got the hottest ticket in town A whole new ruling party and your neighbour wears the crown

New money Young, rich and wild, revelled, reviled You can't stop that New money Filling your pockets, spend it while you got it Heaven knows if it'll last (new money) Watch it as it goes (new money) Watch it as it go-go-goes (new, new money) Ba-da-ba-ba-ba!

In West Egg, there's no nest egg (oh-oh-oh-oh) No need to sit and brood (oh-oh-oh) On piles of cash (oh-oh) They spend their stash at shocking magnitude! (Oh-oh-oh) The kind of wealth you gotta see to believe (oh!) A level of luxury that's hard to achieve (oh!) No, I don't wanna live here but I never wanna leave Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!

New money Young, rich and wild, revelled, reviled Don't you want that new money? Filling your pockets, spend it while you got it Heaven knows if it'll last (new money) Everything top shelf (new, new money) Can only top itself (new, new, new money) Ba-da-ba-ba ba-ba-ya! New money!

High roller, comin' through! (Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) Ram-bam-da-bo do-bo da-bo ow!

New money When it's scanty New money Up the ante Ooh, ooh, butter me honey Tonight, I'm on a roll (tonight, I'm on a roll)

Wolfshiem! Hey, kitten! (New money) Wanna blow on my dice? (Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh) Are you kidding? I wanna throw 'em! Whoo!

New money Lucky sevens New manna From the Heavens Ooh, ooh, butter me honey Tonight, I'm on a roll

Ha-ha, who's the schoolteacher? (New manna) This is Nick Carraway I see you looking at my cuff buttons (new money) Finest specimens of human molars (new manna) (Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

Who was that? That's Meyer Wolfshiem He fixed the World Series You can meet anyone at these parties

So when do we find Gatsby? (Oh-oh-oh-oh) Can you point him out to me? (Oh-oh-oh) I've never even met him (oh-oh-oh-oh) The man's a mystery Every night it seems his notoriety grows I wonder if he's even at the parties he throws I think that it's dandy (oh-oh-oh-oh) That he keeps a brandy handy (oh-oh-oh-oh) But his modus operandi? (Oh!) No one really knows

Well, I heard Gatsby owns the patent For the Model T! I heard he's a spy! I heard he won this place in a horse race! I heard he killed a man! (Oof!) (Eh)

He's selling bathtub gin! He's Prussian royalty! Stock market? He's flooded! Red carpet? Star-studded! Black market? Cold-blooded! Do you wanna dance? (Woah-whoo!)

Do you believe that about Mr Gatsby? What? (The kind that washes up clean) That he killed a man! Wouldn't he be in jail? (My baby has a taste for new money) Not if he didn't get caught! (She likes her legal tender, tender and mean)

Well, what kind of-! (Do-do) Jeez! (Do-do) What kind of a person throws large parties (do-do, do-do) He doesn't attend? (Do-do) A person who likes large parties (do-do, do-do) I like large parties, they're so intimate (do-doowa!) At small parties there isn't any privacy

New money!

New money Young, rich and wild, revelled, reviled Don't you want that new money? Filling your pockets, spend it while you got it Heaven knows if it'll last (new money) Boats against the current (new, new money) Push against the tide! (New, new money) We ride, we ride, we ride We ride!

Oh-oh-oh-oh! (Revelled, reviled) (Don't you want that) Yeah! (New money) (Filling your pockets) Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh! (Spend it while you got it) (Heaven knows if it'll last)

I want that new money (oh) Crisp money (oh) Straight-from-the-mint money (oh, oh) Fresh money (oh) Young money (oh) Push against the tide (oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh!) Hey! We ride, we ride! (Ride, ride!)

Don't want that old money Clean money Comes-with-strings money Cold money Funny money Push against the tide We ride, we ride, we ride! (Oh!) Yeah-yeah-yeah-ah!

AGREE