#live below the line
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something bad did indeed happen to that man. spent abt 25 minutes trying to find a better picture of that one (1) offical piece with his eyes open that wasnt compressed or tiny
#library of ruina#yan library of ruina#getting comfortable doodling some objects and mannequin shapes for very obvious reasons. i read the keypage story and now it has a grip on#my brain. wanting to go ahead and plan it out and then draw the mangled memory and nightmare that replays behind the eyelids in the darknes#it was cool to see the reason confirmed from my speculation. twas indeed another reason of blocking out present pain with closing of eyes#considering they made angela have a plot important reason for doing so it would only make sense for another to have a reason for it as well#well. after having a prominent part inside the thumb/index story line. its just going to be yapping about yan now i think#let me add a spoiler tag i suppose? vauge but just incase i dont want to be an asshole. even if most already have played rhe game#library of ruina spoilers#lor spoilers#i really liked the typewritter effect over the voice after distortion. especially so when the effect finishes before the actual garbled voi#does. it makes it feel as if it were being read out after it being written down rather than of own words or volition. along with the text#upon the screen during the fight being just prescripts rather than anything relating to the man himself like the other instances with such#text had been. paired w the name of distorted yan being untranslated to keep the intent of the name being unreadable or not understandable#more into the idea of stripping away of the self or any sense of a self. not personal and not even him anymore. the following of a goal for#the goal for it is given and there isnt any hope of having the ability to not do such a thing. people yearn for a reason and something to d#and for it to be given to them to not hold responsibility nor have to do their own choices anymore. once a crushing weight weighs down#inside the face of an absolute cruelty that is perpetuated and that crushed the dreams or even desires having them be but nothing how can#one move on? it was really nice to see at the end of the fight. its easier to just say such things than to actually do them. even if the ac#ions dont even feel as if they are ones own or that there isnt any say in the matter having to endure all the pain for seemingly nothing it#still is pain. that feeling inside is still real. it still happened. regardless of the circumstances that brought them about#the thumb/index or just fingers seem to be an exaggerated to the extreme showcase of how the colletivist mindset in an unhealthy manner#could be exhibited. the thumb with its hierarchy and absoluteness and the demand for respect along with its strict layers of showing who is#below and who is above. the ability to have power over those underneath . the participation inside of it and the already brought up yearnin#to be apart of a group and to have a title and position inside of a group and of power and even a desire like from pete to join one iirc#the index being of the cruel perpetuating cycle of pain people inflict upon one another a behavior beaten and upkept by the systems as they#drift and desire to live. which causes them to partcipate in that cycle out of necessity. cruel acts upon another in order to live and seei#a need to go ahead and do such things for if they dont they die and another will just do the same to them. social sciences talk and rolands#talks abt how the city opperates reinforce that fact. the index and prescripts are really just a show inside that extreme manner and in a#more literal sense of that. it was really cool to read it..
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How cool is it that so many people across both hemispheres got to witness something usually reserved for a much smaller area all because the sun is throwing a huge tantrum right now. Just throwing out huuuge amounts of energy and our planet is like cool lets make pretty colours in the sky with that. Thats called turning a negative into a positive on a celestial scale 😌. We should be more like Earth lmao
#aurora#aurora borealis#northern lights#if you missed it#and your living generally above or below the tropic lines but still get dark skies (so not arctic circle ironically right now)#then you have another chance to see them tonight#i saw they were as far south as florida?!?!#and spain saw them too#not sure about the middle east or north africa but florida is waaaay close to the tropics so maybe!
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A classic.
(x)
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Are you fucking kidding me with this shit
#mouthwashing#mouth washing#daisuke mouthwashing#daisuke fanart#daisuke mw#ghostlysdoodles#ghostlyghostyghostbastard#fanart#fanart !#fanart!#yall i was like “oh this is cool#i like the visual style and WHAT THE FUCK HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK“#the way the walls slowly close in with the foam around them to really amp up the claustrophobic horror and the way#that not trusting the people around them makes it a really homey horror#FUCK#i need a dumb and has lived long enough to mot be dumber plot line with Daisuke and Curly#my and my homeys have never trusted a guy named Jim#dont mind the As Above so Below hands#its all i can think of when im drawing hands
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Oh yeah btw got and signed an offer letter!!!
I'M BACK BABY!!! (Or will be in like a week when I start)
#having this job really means so much for me#something dependable#fun#where my skills are valued#where i can learn and grow#and having more money is going to make a massive material difference in my life#I've been living so far below the poverty line for so long#i can finally afford to do more than just hunker down and survive
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The Sick Times
#fuck the cdc#uspol#disability justice#they're trying to erase long covid the way they tried to erase AIDS -- another virus which disproportionately affected queer people#and other marginalized groups like BIPOC - trans people - people living below the poverty line
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Okay, so, who do I have to commission to make a “Yaz dies from the Mosasaurus” fic?
NOBODY GIVE ME WEIRD LOOKS BECAUSE YOU GUYS LOVE MAKING BEN ACTUALLY DIE TO THE PTERANODONS !!! I’ve seen the fics ,,
The scenes happen back to back too, so it’s like — almost equal amounts of angst !! Because when Yaz breaks her ankle and Sammy runs over to her, she’s still pissed at Sammy, so imagine the guilt Sammy must feel if she watches Yaz die in front of her without ever making things right ??? Not to mention Ben’s guilt of feeling like he caused her death bc he was slowing them down with Bumpy. Maybe even Kenji too for not pulling her to safety fast enough with the feeding hook !!
Which is an ironic name..
I’d write it myself if I had the motivation to finish things ..
#jurassic world#jurassic world camp cretaceous#jwcc#yasmina fadoula#mosasaur#yasammy#i guess technically#this is like break up arc Yasammy /j#ben pincus#kenji kon#sammy gutierrez#ben pincus guilt is real#like imagine being in the same kayak as her and she sacrifices herself so you can live ??#And like her last words to you is something along the lines of “Don’t stop paddling” ???#Survivors guilt#like all the way#imagine their season 3 reactions to the mosasaur but it being someone they know#the angst potential#HEAR ME OUT !!#PLEASE !!!!#the Mosasaurus dips back below the water and everyone is just shell shocked#but woops!#No time to mourn because there’s Toro#then the Pteranodons attack ???#and you think you loose Ben too ???#THE TRUAMA !!!#Except Yaz can’t pull the “What? You’ve never seen a ghost before?”#the nublar six#more like#the nublar four
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Saw an 'informational post' listing the safest cities for trans people in the u.s. and wouldn't you know it, the ven diagram between that list and a list of the most expensive cities to live in the u.s. is nearly a circle. After all, safety is for the wealthy.
#like#ya#lemme just move to west hollywood#or nyc#or seattle#or denver#its not like i live below the poverty line or anything
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Kingdom of Ash Chapter 62
Chapter Highlights (but let’s be real all this chapter already is)
The Crochans did not scatter to the winds.
As one, the Thirteen and the Crochans flew to the southwest, toward the outer reaches of the Fangs. To another secret camp, since the location of the other was well and truly compromised. Farther from Terrasen, but closer to Morath, at least.
A small comfort, Dorian thought, when they found a secure place to camp for the night. The wyverns might have been able to keep going, but the Crochans on their brooms could not fly for so long. They'd flown until darkness had nearly blinded them all, landing only after the Shadows and Crochans had agreed on a secure place to stay.
Watches were set, both on the ground and in the sky. If the two surviving Matrons were to retaliate for their humiliating defeat, it would be now. The Crochans and Asterin had spent much of their time today laying misleading tracks, but only time would tell if they'd escaped.
The night was frigid enough that they took the time to erect tents, the wyverns huddling together against one of the rocky overhangs.
And though no fires would have been wiser, the cold threatened to be so lethal that Glennis had taken the sacred flame from the glass orb where it was held while traveling and ignited her fire.
Others had followed suit, and while glamours would be in place to hide the camp, the fires, from enemy eyes, Dorian couldn't entirely forget that the Ironteeth Matrons had found them regardless.
Sleep had almost dragged him under when a burst of cold slithered into the tent, then vanished. He knew who it was before she sat beside his bedroll, and when he opened his eyes, he found Manon with her knees drawn up, arms braced atop them.
She stared into the dimness of his tent, the space illumined with silvery light from the glowing stars on her brow.
"You don't have to wear it all the time," he said. "We're allowed to take them off."
Golden eyes slid toward him. "I've never seen you wear a crown."
"The past few months haven't provided much access to the royal collection." He sat up.
"And I hate wearing them anyway. They dig mercilessly into my head."
A hint of a smile. "This is not so heavy."
"Since it seems made of light itself, I'd imagine not." Though that crown would weigh heavily in other ways, he knew.
"So you're talking to me," she said, not bothering to segue gracefully.
"I talked to you before."
"Is it because I am now queen?"
"You were queen prior to today."
Her golden eyes narrowed, scanning him for the answer she sought. Dorian let her do it, and returned the favor. Her breathing was steady, her posture at ease for once.
"I thought it would be more satisfying. To see her run." Her grandmother. "When you killed your father, what did you feel?"
"Rage. Hate." He didn't balk from the truth in his words, the ugliness.
She chewed on her lower lip, no sign of those iron teeth. A rare, silent admission of doubt. "Do you think I should have killed her?"
"Some might say yes. But humiliating her like that," he said, considering, "might weaken her and the Ironteeth forces more than her death. Killing her might have rallied the Ironteeth against you."
"I killed the Yellowlegs Matron."
"You killed her, spared the Blueblood witch, and your grandmother fled. That's a demoralizing defeat. Had you killed them all, even killed just your grandmother and the Yellowlegs Matron, it could have turned their deaths into noble sacrifices on behalf of the Ironteeth Clans."
She nodded, her golden eyes settling on him again with that preternatural clarity and stillness. "I am sorry," she said. "For how I spoke when I learned of your plans to go to Morath."
He was stunned enough that he just blinked.
Stunned enough that humor was his only shield as he said, "Seems like that Crochan do-gooder behavior is rubbing off on you, Manon."
A half smile at that. "Mother help me if I ever become so dull."
But Dorian's amusement faded away. "I accept your apology." He held her gaze, letting her see the truth in it.
It seemed answer enough for her. Answer, and somehow the final clue to what she sought.
Her golden eyes guttered. "You're leaving," she breathed. "Tomorrow."
He didn't bother to lie. "Yes."
It was time. She had faced her grandmother, had challenged what she'd created. It was time for him to do the same. He didn't need Damaris's confirming warmth or the spirits of the dead to tell him that.
"How?"
"You witches have brooms and wyverns. I've learned to make my own wings."
For a few breaths, she said nothing. Then she lowered her knees, twisting to face him fully. "Morath is a death trap."
"It is."
"I—we cannot go with you."
"I know."
He could have sworn fear entered her eyes.
Yet she didn't rage at him, roar at him-didn't so much as snarl. She only asked, "You're not afraid to go alone?"
"Of course I'm afraid. Anyone in their right mind would be. But my task is more important than fear, I think."
Anger flickered over her face, her shoulders tensing.
Then it faded and was replaced by something he had seen only earlier today-that queen's face. Steady and wise, edged with sorrow and bright with clarity. Her eyes dipped to the bedroll, then lifted to meet his own. "And if I asked you to stay?"
The question also took him by surprise. He carefully thought through his answer. "I'd need a very convincing reason, I suppose.
Her fingers went to the buckles and buttons of her leathers, and began to loosen them.
"Because I don't want you to go," was all she said.
His heart thundered as she revealed inch after inch of bare, silken skin. Not a seductive removal of her clothing, but rather an offer laid bare.
Manon said softly, "We could make an alliance. Between Adarlan, and the Crochans. And any Ironteeth who might follow me."
It was her answer, he realized. To his request for a convincing reason to remain.
She took his hand, and interlaced their fingers.
It was more intimate than anything they'd shared, more vulnerable than she'd ever allowed herself to be. "An alliance," she said, throat bobbing, "between you and me."
Her golden eyes lifted to his, the offer gleaming there.
To marry. To unite their peoples in the strongest, most unbreakable of terms.
"You don't want that," he said with equal quiet. "You would never want to be shackled to any man like that."
He could see the truth there, in her beautiful face. That she agreed with him. But she shook her head, the starlight dancing on her hair. "The Crochans have not offered to fly to war. I have not yet dared ask them. But if I had the strength of Adarlan beside me, perhaps they might be convinced at last."
If they had not been convinced by today's triumph, then nothing would change their minds. Even their queen offering up the freedom she craved so badly.
That Manon would even consider it, though
...
Dorian twined a wave of her silver hair around his finger. For a heartbeat, he allowed himself to drink her in.
She would be his wife, his queen. She was already his equal, his match, his mirror in so many ways. And with their union, the world would know it.
But he could see the bars of the cage that would creep closer, tighter, every day. And either break her wholly, or turn her into something neither of them wished her to ever be.
"You would marry me, all so we could aid Terrasen in this war?"
"Aelin is willing to die to end this conflict. Why should she bear the brunt of sacrifice?"
And there it was, her answer, though he knew she didn't realize it.
Sacrifice.
Dorian's other hand went to the buttons of her pants, and freed them with a few, deft maneuvers. Revealing the long, thick scar across her abdomen.
Would he have shown the restraint that Manon did today, had he faced her grandmother?
Absolutely not.
"You were right," she said quietly. "I am afraid." Manon laid her hand over his. "I am afraid that you will go into Morath and return as something I do not know. Something I shall have to kill."
"I know." Those same fears haunted his steps.
Her fingers tightened on his, pressing harder. As if she were trying to imprint his hand upon the heart racing beneath. "Would you stay here, if we had this alliance between us?" He heard every word left unspoken.
So Dorian brushed his mouth against hers. Manon let out a small sound.
Dorian kissed her again, and her tongue met his, hungry and searching. Then her hands were plunging into his hair, both of them rising onto their knees to meet halfway.
Manon drew her hands from him to remove the glittering crown atop her head, but he halted her with a phantom touch. "Don't," he said, voice near-guttural. "Leave it on."
Her eyes turned to molten gold, going heavy-lidded, tipping her head back.
His mouth went dry at the beauty that threatened to undo him, the temptation that his every instinct roared to claim. Not the body, but what she had offered.
He almost said yes, then.
Was almost selfish enough, greedy enough for her, that he nearly said yes. Yes, he would take her as his queen. So he might never have to say farewell to this, so that this magnificent, fierce witch might remain by his side for all his days.
Manon reached for him, fingers digging into his shoulders, and Dorian rose over her, finding her mouth in a plundering kiss.
A shift of her hips, and he was buried, the heated silk of her enough to make him forget that they had a camp around them, or kingdoms to protect.
Stay. The word echoed in each breath.
Dorian gave Manon what she wanted. Gave himself what he wanted. Over and over and over.
As if this might last forever.
What was left to be said anyway?
She'd laid out what she wanted. Had spoken as much of the truth as she dared voice.
In its wake, a sated sort of clarity shone.
Such as she had not felt in a long, long time.
His sapphire eyes lingered on her face, and Manon turned toward him. Slowly removed her crown of stars and set it aside.
Then she drew up the blankets around them both.
He didn't so much as flinch as she scooted closer, into the solid muscle of his body.
No, Dorian only draped an arm over her, and pulled her tightly against him.
Manon was still listening to his breathing when she fell asleep, warm in his arms.
She awoke at dawn to a cold bed.
Manon took one look at the empty place where the king had been, at the lack of supplies and that ancient sword, and knew.
Dorian had gone to Morath. And had taken the two Wyrdkeys with him.
#Chapter 62#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Manon Blackbeak#Dorian Havilliard#Manorian#The Witch Queen#Witchling#Princeling#no spoilers please#first read#read with me#read along#First Read along with me NO SPOILERS PLEASE though warning for post & tags up to KoA 62 & more reacts/notes/quotes in tags below#The news-truth-no one missing the prince?-glamours-how?-ISKRA!-oh Petrah-heavy is the head-you were already queen-I’m sorry#shooketh too dude-she’s learning-a humor shield-make my own wings-would you stay?-more important than fear-sorrow and clarity#she made an offer for love-and he didn’t take it for the same reasons-an alliance-the fight for freedom-another equal another mate#his mirror-he wouldn’t cage her-why should she bear the brunt of the sacrifice-she stayed-I am afraid of what you will become-zoyalai vibes#i know-me too-a living blade in his arms-fiercely loving-for all his days-as if forever-dammit Sarah not that again-but it grew cold#Something beautiful now in how they all fight to and them#The line-Not for her-Tired-To reach otherWhere they’d been-The queen-And her prince
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when I grow up I want to live. I want to live somewhere with a forest and a river nearby, and pretty colorful tiles and archways in my doors. I want to invite my friends over to my house to eat, and to play board games, and have a sourdough starter and get really good at making bread and pasta. I want a cat. I want to be able to see something pretty at a store and buy it for myself, no mater what kind of price tag might be on it. I want to rest well, and I want to plant a garden on the side of my house, and I want to grow food, and give it to my friends. I want to have a place where I can go to make my pottery.
I want to live.
#this terrible aching yearning thing inside of me#for a life where I’m not weighing my decisions against my livelyhood#and a life where I don’t have to be working a 9-5#that’s never going to happen#I’m gonna become a teacher because I’m invested in educating (arming) the children of our failing country#and it’ll probably burn me out#and I’ll probably be living below or on the poverty line#but still#the dream keeps me going
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Having to close my chats to anyone I don't follow now, sorry guys. I've been getting communication from people in Gaza and while I feel for them, I'm disabled and struggling to just get on social security for Disability and literally have $30 bucks in my bank right now. All this is doing is stressing me out 🧍♀️
#kerytalk#I wish I wasn't poor but I'm poor as fuck I am not the person to ask#any saving I do is a lot of scrimping and scraping over /months/#and only because I live with my parents and don't have to pay for utilities like rent and shit#I'd be absolutely fucked otherwise#fun fact all our social security payments in this country are below the poverty line#we are one of if not the worst on social security payments out of all OECD countries#THAT INCLUDES AMERICA BTW#damn this country's 'dole bludger' brainrot rhetoric#I'm sorry I just can't take the mental load of being begged for money I'm trying to curate this social media into like my ONE safe space
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I JUST FOUND OUT MY MASTERS DEGREE SCHOLARSHIP APPLICATION WAS SUCCESSFUL AND MY ENTIRE MASTERS DEGREE IS GOING TO BE FULLY FUNDED PLUS ALL CONFERENCES AND LAB COSTS
I WAS SO CONVINCED I WOULDN’T GET IT BECAUSE ONLY ONE PERSON IS AWARDED IT BUT I GOT IT AND I CANNOT EXPLAIN HOW HAPPY I AM
I ACTUALLY CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE IT
#apologies for the random personal post#will delete it later#for context i grew up below the poverty line#and i was so sure i wouldn’t get this scholarship bc of the odds#but i got it#and i’m gonna cry#because now i don’t have to live off 78p a day#sorry again for the personal shitpost#tumblr is where my emotions get dumped
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I can cook and I enjoy it but I think if I was married to a man I wouldn’t. Like burning a pot of boiling water type shit. Weaponised incompetence.
#feminism ✊🏻#now if I marry a woman which is far more likely .. yes i do the cooking yes i do the cleaning#my friend was like well u live below the poverty line and are thrifty and have a rly colourful life#would u accept that in a guy?#no.#why you 26 and a dude and not warning 6 figures what’s wrong w u#I’m facing the gender pay gap what’s ur damage.#and I believe that
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have you ever thought of doing a 24 hr chicken livestream for charity?
No not really. If i was livestreaming for money pretty sure I would want that money. Maybe if my youtube really blew up?
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While we're venting on tumblr, it's bullshit their the video and audio players don't have a volume slider. Your videos are too loud. Period.
#add tags huh#uh#protect your hearing#i'm trying to be more considerate than my neighbors#i live in an apartment#how is one website going to try to dictate my pc's master volume#you can just click the cursor below a block of text and it generates a new line as if I had pressed enter?#what even is tumblr
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Suddenly stressing out so so so much because farrier school starts march 31st and i still need to find an apartment near the school and also buy all my tools and also buy new work boots and also more jeans because i only have like 2 pairs left (???) and also need to get a trailer hitch installed on my car so i can even drive my stuff up to Minnesota in the first place and also-
#except i have absolutely zero money to do it all with AAAAAHHHH#literally the entirety of my first paycheck is going toward paying off my taxes#the entirety of my next pay check is going to have to go toward paying for my car#and then after that I'm going to only have like. maybe two more paychecks and then I'll have to quit my job#i really wish i had an easier time asking my parents for financial help. like they can afford it no problem#but actually going to them and being like “hey. im barely scraping by. could you help me out?” makes me feel like im having a heartattack#probably has something to do with how i was 100% preparing myself to get disowned when i came out as trans to them#or the fact that they dropped all financial support of me when i dropped out of college#(because the alternative was me driving my car as fast as it would go into a tree lmao)#so i suddenly went from having schooling + housing provided for to having to figure out how to survive on $10/hr + tips#while very mentally unwell#tho i think maybe they'd be a lot more willing to help if they knew just how much ive been struggling the last 6 years? maybe?#but then how to fuck do i tell them “oh yeah. since you stopped helping me ive barely been able to afford both food and rent every month”#“yeah ive technically been living below the poverty line the last 6 years but im terrified to ask you for help for reasons i cant explain”
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