#live and learn amirite???

[orbitswritings]

i dont think the cast members in animal kingdom liked it when i asked them where the na’vi dick sucking station was,,,,, :(

[justarandomlambblog]

Part 1

Short and to the point- starting Lamb and the Bishops' side; while Narinder is starting a new life, so is the Lamb...

After Narinder runs away, the Lamb reluctantly step into the role of the new god of Death- the last god of the Faithful Lands, an incredibly lonely fate. Their followers rejoice and worship them, and their form begins to change- starting with their horns. Upsetting at first, the Lamb learns to accept that they will one day no longer look like the sheep they used to be.

Then, a few decades after Narinder ran away, the Lamb is met by the Mystic Seller- who, of course, demands the Lamb put the Bishops to rest. The Lamb accepts this new crusade.

At first, the Lamb intends to kill the Bishops for a final time, but when they see Leshy on the ground, small and mortal(ish) and helpless, their conviction wavers. Not out of pity (they have no pity for the Bishops) or forgiveness (there are things that cannot be forgiven)- but because they realize something then.

They are the last god in the lands of Faith, but the Bishops used to be gods. They know what it means and how it feels to be gods among mortals, to watch the people around them- people they care about despite everything- grow old without them, to have an entire civilization resting on their shoulders, to make the hardest choices that any person can make so that no one else has to make them. And, without Narinder there as the Lamb had intended him to be, they are the closest thing they will ever get to having companions on equal ground- the only people they can turn to for advice on this god thing, as horribly, cruelly ironic as that is.

So they spare the Bishops, but their mercy is not freedom; it is a shackle. And, unlike Narinder, the Lamb won't let them run away. They have no choice but to kneel.

And they will spend eternity repenting.

[insecuregodcomplex]

therapist hit me with “you’re allowed to cause discomfort” and if anyone wanted to know what ill be working on for the foreseeable future that would be what it is

[doradotcom]

walk of shame back home from the club some guy shoved his tongue so deep in my throat i thought i was gonna throw up on him. but i didnt #tmi probabky deleting this in the morning i dont knaurrrwww

[depressedraisin]

as usual. i've left annotations and citations for the end.

[maximotts]

You're the queen who we appreciate ❤️👑 Plus it's not patience when we get to see you live your own love story despite having 3 Sundays

Pls if anything I’m the miserably jingling fool 💀 but thank you, that’s very sweet!! Next time when planning my trip back to the US, I’ll make sure to either only do two flights or have a good bit of layover between my flights!

[dalliancekay]

The 'Aziraphale Still Believes in Heaven' Take

Is one that I see so often. Too often. The way many fans (still) say Aziraphale is so naïve, he's never learned anything, he never changes, Metatron just offered him a promotion and he happily jumped on it. Happy to go back to Heaven. Still in their clutches. Leaving Crowley behind. Cos nothing lasts forever. Amirite? Poor long-suffering Crowley. So patient. Goes through so much. Aww. Takes that say that because Crowley never told Aziraphale about the venom in Gabriel's "Shut your stupid mouth and die already", Aziraphale has no idea that Heaven is not the good guys, that he still believes they are on the side of truth and light.

Takes that claim Aziraphale wants Crowley to come to Heaven and be an angel again so they can be happy like in the good old times. Takes that basically say that Aziraphale is stupid. And blind. LISTEN Do you mean this Aziraphale:

Who knew before Crowley did that something is rotten in the state of Denmark, that things are wrong and one can get in a lot of trouble for a thing as minor as a suggestion to improve things. Is this the Aziraphale that would seriously suggest to Crowley, who he was immediately deeply anxious over, to go back to 'good old times'? What good old times? How is Heaven a place of light when:

A bunch of angels comes down to Earth to bully and PUNCH ONE OF THEIR OWN?

Why would he think they are the light when they shame him for being who he is?

And yes, Aziraphale wants to do good. But that's not tied to him being an angel. And it's not a bad thing ffs! Crowley does good as well. Aziraphale might be the only one who knows, but he knows. Maybe getting humans out of the Garden to seek knowledge was always a (certainty) possibility, and maybe not, but it was Aziraphale's decision to arm them.

And She didn't make him Fall for it. And do you remember when:

Aziraphale first openly questioned that Heaven was actually doing what God actually wanted? He had a think after the Flood, didn't he. He did what he thought was right. He trusted Crowley over his fellow angels, with his own sense of rightness. He and Crowley saved the kids that Aziraphale triple checked the Archangels saw no problem in letting die to make things easier. And She didn't make him Fall for it. In Edinburgh:

Az re-evaluated his assumption that grave-robbing is bad and did a full 180 degree turn when he learned it can be spun another way, trying to save the grave-robbing girl AND the possible future lives of children that could be helped via more learning. And when we come to Metatron and his threats, we don't see the full conversation, but don't we see enough? Aziraphale says that he's not interested. Metatron keeps nagging at him. Pushing the symbolic coffee from Coffee or Death at him. Flattering him with obvious untruths. After all, Aziraphale knows what Heaven thinks of him. He tried to reason with Metatron before. Metatron tells him they know how deep his disobedience lies:

Aziraphale is not a fool. He knows this is an offer of come quietly or we will find a way to destroy you and your demon this time. Aziraphale didn't have to hear Metatron's quip of: "For one prince of Heaven to be cast into the outer darkness makes a good story. For it to happen twice, makes it look like there is some kind of institutional problem." He knows the system is rotten. He knows for a LONG time. Did you see his face when he met Muriel and realised what a lonely sad existence they lead.

AND Crowley doesn't love Aziraphale despite the fact that he's being used to get out of trouble, being made to listen about random things the angel enjoys from symphonies to food and plays, and who continues to believe in goodness and kindness. CROWLEY LOVES AZIRAPAHLE BECAUSE OF THOSE THINGS AND because he sees Aziraphale for what he is, an angel who thinks for himself, changes his mind, angel who is brave, who stands for the right thing, who sacrifices his own happiness for the safety of others, especially the demon he loves. They are the same. They are lonely. They are one of a kind. And they love each other.

Aziraphale wants to stay at home. In the home he built for himself and Crowley. On Earth where he's found so much to love. But he knows it is impossible. As Crowley confesses his love, Aziraphale struggles to stay on his plan. He'll miss Crowley terribly. He wants them to be together. For him, they were an 'us' the whole S2. However tenuously. Fragile existence and all that.

But even this was ripped away from him. And whatever he's planning, he knows he needs to do the first steps on his own. He can't submit Crowley to the torture that being in Heaven is going to be for him, an unwanted, despised angel. He can't make him come. He can only ask him. And Crowley said no.

So he leaves. Furious. And determined. Whether it is to burn the place down or find God and ask Her all the questions to Her face I don't know. But his love will push him through.

And if I see one more simplistic take of the snarky demon is really good isn't he, so that means the stuffy angel is bad (and needs to change to be worthy of the demon) I will curse their dreams with lines about shades of grey. AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY ALREADY LOVE EACH OTHER

[silentglassbreak]

I know. I know. I have other projects I need to work on. I have about 1000 things I need to do. I need to edit my novel. Write CYFMH2. Edit my podcast. Work on my last 2 fic requests, and write the one that’s been swirling around in my brain. I know. And I will…

And my best friend (I know you’re reading this, Big Daddy) will roll her eyes when she sees I’m posting on here instead of getting my shit together.

But…

NSFW under the cut

I keep having this thought in my head about Noah. I’ve let my mind drift off of him for a couple weeks. It’s so hard to live in the real - cruel - world when he floats around my brain like TV static making me frothy. But I just can’t fucking help it, you know?

Once in a while…I can’t help but imagine…

What if you can’t sleep?

What if you and Noah were already together? An item. Life is good. The man of all of our dreams - and he’s all yours. Laying in bed next to you. You’re happy. You’re successful in whichever venture you choose to pursue. Your life couldn’t be any better.

So why the fuck do you have such bad insomnia?!

His bed is the perfect texture. His blankets are so cool, but keep you wrapped in a cozy cocoon next to his large frame. His soft snores aren’t bothersome, but so soothing. You’ve learned that without the sound of his breathing, your sleeping habits are even worse. His body radiates heat, but he keeps his room so cold, it makes it easy to draw into his side, his arm draped loosely over the front of your body while his mind is off dancing in whatever dreams he’s having that night.

You’re jealous. You’d kill to be dreaming. Or even just dozing. Because you have to get up early in the morning, and you just remembered there’s no coffee creamer in the fridge downstairs, so having caffeine when you first wake up is out of the question. You’ll have to drive to Starbucks, or order it in. That just sounds like medieval torture to you. First world problems, amirite?

And it’s not without you trying. The room is pitch black save from one shred of moonlight casting in from the window. The white noise of Noah’s sleep behind you. Your brain feels fuzzy enough, but you’re still squirming and frustrated.

You just don’t get it.

After about your third readjustment, the arm around your waist tightens, pulling you tighter against his chest.

His voice is right at your ear, thick with sleep. “Struggling tonight, baby?”

All you can do is whine in response, defeated, wriggling under his tight grip, and pressing your face into the pillow.

“I don’t know why I can’t sleep. I’m so fucking tired.” Your voice was cracking. You were so desperate.

A soft kiss pressed to the fabric of the shirt over your shoulder.

“No good, love. You comfortable? Need me to adjust the AC?”

Noah never touched the AC. Noah never adjusted the room temperature - unless it was for you.

But that wouldn’t help.

“I’m comfortable. I’m relaxed. I’m exhausted. So what the fuck?! Why can’t I sleep?”

His arm snaked all the way around your waist, pressing your back hard into his chest, his legs intertwining with yours.

His lips spoke into the hair next to your temple. “I don’t know, beautiful.”

You let out a frustrated sigh, melting into him.

“Need me to put you to sleep?”

And you froze, suddenly cemented in your exact spot.

And yeah, it was real hot in the room, out of nowhere.

“What?”

His palm flattened over your abdomen, sliding up beneath your t-shirt, calloused fingers tracing over your skin.

“You heard me.”

Did you really need to answer him? No. He would’ve done whatever you needed with a silent plea, but - as was mentioned before - you were desperate.

“If you think you can…”

And you knew what you were doing, didn’t you?

To challenge him like that…

Which is why you found yourself face down in the pillow, hips up in the air, eyes rolling back in your skull while Noah pounded into you, his fingers bruising the skin of your ass with each hard slap that landed. His deep, vicious groans mixed with the skin on skin of his cock sliding in and out of you over and over.

His hand reached down to tangle in your hair, pulling you up so he could wrap his long fingers over your throat, crushing your windpipe in the process.

The tears leaked from your eyes, his voice venomous in your ear.

“Don’t think I can wear you out, baby?” Your hands gripped his arm that pressed on your throat, begging for more pressure. “Just for that, I’m fucking you into a coma tonight.”

His fingers loosened enough so you could crane your neck, his lips crashing into yours, tongue licking sloppily into your mouth.

When he pushed you back down, his length slipped all the way out before railing back into you, pressing hard against your cervix, making you bite down on your bottom lip.

“Tired yet, love? Want me to stop?”

You cried out hard, begging him not to. This elicited a dark, humorless laugh out of him.

“Didn’t think so.”

This went on forever, until you crested up to the edge, his fingers slipping under you to press against your clit while you writhed against him.

“Finally going to come for me, sweetheart?”

You could only nod helplessly, begging him to give you the release you needed.

“C’mon baby. Wake the house up. Let’em hear you.”

And you did. The screams that left your lungs when your orgasm slapped you shook the walls of the bedroom, the pillows having no prayer of muffling the shrieks.

“There you go, love.” His hands released you, hips falling back into a smooth rhythm while he chased his own release. You could only let your body naturally respond, pressing back into him instinctively. Your brain was buzzing, each added thrust just comfortably settling you into your own euphoria.

He finished with a hard, loud sigh, his chest pressed to your back and fingers lacing with yours.

You collapsed down onto the sheets while he peppered kisses over your shoulders, soothing you into a soft lull.

After a moment, he retreated into the bathroom to clean up, grabbing a soft, damp towel. You felt him clean you, purring at his gentle touch.

“I’m going to grab some water. Need anything from downstairs?”

You grunted in response, and you heard him chuckle softly. “Be right back, baby.”

Once the door closed, shutting the rest of the light out, your mind fell away, tossing you into the abyss.

He was only gone a moment, sinking back onto the mattress next to you, arms encircling you.

You had no idea, though. You were gone. Finally letting your own comfortable dreams take over.

You barely even heard him speak, his voice like a background noise of your thoughts.

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

Sorry I just couldn’t stop thinking about it.

[neoymm]

taken inspiration from Rozen Maiden (THE PEAKEST ANIME EVER)

and also i have no clue why this post is this long, im just rambling and yapping out of my head.

okay, so dolls.

billy and mary are the twin pair of dolls among the dolls siblings

they have exist for a while, like, in the 1800s perhaps, or earlier than 1500s because we got no clue when the dolls is actually made in the rozen maiden series 😔

they only given the name of William, later nicknamed to billy, and Mary stays as Mary, their father, the creator of the dolls, will be the wizard cuz he fits in that roll.

the other dolls is given the name of Frederick (later shorten to freddy), Darla, Pedro and Eugene.

they are dolls, but they are alive, because of one thing: father (/wizard). wanting to be the chosen one — a human; aka alice in rozen maiden; aka i have no idea the substitute name in this post.

CC and Marilyn are a couple, in 1940s, who happens to be archaeologists, found two strange letter in their two cases. and out of curiosity, they accepted the letter despite it being strange.

the letter stated: wind up or dont wind up

the couple thought it was weird and circled wind up.

immediately two wooden boxes appeared, they are big, like suitcases. so curious again, they opened it.

in the boxes, they found small humanoid things, dolls, and they look like twins pair of dolls. so Marilyn holds Mary, found the doll’s skin is very human-like. while CC found this wind up doll key and understood somewhat, that these dolls is a moveable dolls.

so he set the key, twirls it on billy and mary, the couple waited and slowly, the dolls move. but the movement is strange, it’s like a child learning how to walk but was more ‘dolly’ and ‘robotic’.

then the dolls opened their eyes on their own, getting use to the movement, becoming more ‘alive’. (WHICH THEY ARE, BECAUSE OF ROSA MYSTICA IN CANON ROZEN MAIDEN BEING THEIR SOUL)

the couple of course, shocked, wondering how the dolls works. and decided just to take the dolls as their ‘children’, aka take care of them. faking the dolls as their children because it’s insane to be seen with ‘alive dolls’. and the dolls passed as a literal 5 (or younger) years old.

the dolls introduced themselves as Billy and Mary, with the last name ‘Batson’. they are the third and fourth doll.

later, CC and Marilyn finds it strange that the dolls will disappear to somewhere in a while, like middle of the night-ish. so all on that adventurous spirit, they followed the dolls and found out there’s a mirror connecting to the other dolls’ worlds.

and they found mary and billy fighting another doll, Darla. In their powered up form that CC and Marilyn never know before, until this night of course.

Darla is definitely young, youngest of all when CC and Marilyn found out, she was made as the last doll, the ‘sixth’ doll. but they are not so much different because of the base build for dolls. but actions speaks louder amirite? Darla lost, expected to be killed by her rosa mystica taken away by either billy or mary.

billy and mary didnt want to, since living for 1 week (i guess?) with CC and Marilyn has made them somewhat better than they were before. less spoiled and less arrogant of a doll. but also how they missed the other siblings, they don’t want to lose the siblings because of these death battle and only one can remain. so they spared Darla, taken her in with CC’s and Marilyn’s permission.

sooner joined by Freddy, who has this talent for music typa doll, he is very weird though, but he is in fact the oldest one, aka the first finished doll to be made. then later on joined by pedro, who is probably the strongest of the dolls, the fifth doll, he suddenly appeared by flying with his case. crashed in, did a small fight and gone. but he do visit frequently with peace.

Then eugene, the smart one, the second doll, who didn’t really care much, currently just roaming around and sometimes do a small stay with CC and Marilyn with other dolls.

but, where’s the fun when Black Adam didn’t appeared? So black adam, the secret, imposter, seventh, but also is the ‘zero-th’ doll, appeared to claims all of the dolls rosa mystica to be the chosen one. be human.

he was the first doll to be made, but never finished, until someone else other than father (wizard) finished him and gave him the chance to be human. filled with rage, he took that chance and made a rampage, but he has to manipulate the situation first, using his powers to made it hard for the other dolls.

this is where the other villains from captain marvel appeared, sivana, mr mind, sabbac, ibac, etc etc. and it has going on for decades now, there has been multiple times where the dolls has to go back to their hibernation (box).

in which meanings, CC and Marilyn has died, either due to black adam, or just natural causes.

the time is now twenty-something (20??) the billy box is suddenly opened, no mary in sight, billy is confused. shazamed (using his doll power) and find mary. but in the way he helped a weird ass costumed team (soz), the Justice League.

JL was thankful for this strange man who appeared out of nowhere and helped them fought the enemy. asked him to join the team, billy was hesitant at first, because of his doll sister. but of course is a little afraid of black adam finding him and get him before he can even find mary.

but he accepted. and shenanigans issues.

also sivana and mortal enemy of captain marvel will appeared during this time rather than before JL thingy

mow, im done for today, thanks for reading, signing off

[yandere-sins]

just read your yandere! könig and it's adorable. 💕 curious, how would he react if his s/o is suffering from a fever? He finally sees them so needy, so peaceful, and when he places the back of his hand to check for their temprature?? his hearts is doing flips because they are voluntarily leaning into his touch (!!!) also, how would he act if he was sick? love your yandere works 💕💕

Thanks for requesting ♥ In sickness and in health, amirite? >:3

»»———————— ♡ ————————««        

♡ Of course, König is extremely worried after finding you coughing and sweating in bed, the blanket wrapped around you painfully tight as you complain about the cold in the apartment. It's unlike you to be vulnerable around him, even though König always tells you to relax and take it easy, he'll protect you. But when he reaches out to touch your forehead, skin burning against his calloused palm as you let out a long sigh before merely leaning into the touch, it's him who's melting by your side. Finally, it's his time to shine. Finally, you need him to be the big, strong protector and carer he knows he can be for you.

♡ If he learned anything from his childhood, then there are a lot of good remedies against your symptoms. A nice, warm shower is the first thing he orders for you, though when he notices your lack of strength, König is more than happy to draw you a bath and wash you himself, drawing out the process for as long as possible until your short from collapsing. After that, he's merrily humming as he puts you into his oversized hoodie, situating you on the couch for a moment so he can change the bedding.

♡ The tea water is boiling by the time he helps you back into bed, closing the window again after letting fresh air replace the old, your feet covered with his oversized, knitted socks. Once König gathered all that is needed—tea, water, and medicine—he sits by your side, ensuring you have a sip of everything while he watches your drowsy, feverish eyes slowly close before you return to sleep. He reaches out again, and a serene joy fills him as he pushes the hair out of your face, watching you nuzzle his palm in search of cooling your fever. He stays like that for a while, enjoying the peace and quiet, even more love for you spreading all throughout him. You are always amazing, but like this, it feels like he's experiencing a wonder.

♡ However, he knows what he has to do. Even if it hurts to part ways, he eventually lets you rest, making sure you are covered properly before leaving the room to allow you to heal in your sleep. All while he's on his way to fetch some chicken, soup veggies, and noodles for when you wake up. Once you open your eyes, you'll already hear the boiling of soup in the kitchen, König almost fainting as you come inside, disheveled and sickly, the blanket hanging off your body but looking so, so adorable. Like someone needing help. His help. He could watch you for hours as you investigate the concoction he's making. Still, even if you scrunch your nose at the thought of food, the real magic only happens once he serves you his soup.

♡ One bite, and you can't stop. König would have watched you scarf down the whole pot he made for two days, but after eating his portion as well, you seem full and a bit more lively. It returns some of the grumpiness you always show him, but you are suddenly overcome by energy as if you hadn't been knocked down for the last few hours. König doesn't mind. He carries your clothes after you as you discard them, reminding you to stay warm even as you scoff at him, a smile always playing around his lips as he sees you feeling so much better already, thanks to him.

♡ Eventually, your fever catches up to you, and you end up exhausted on the couch, barely able to watch the movie he let you choose. It doesn't matter what you want to see. Even the most cringe teen movie is good enough for him as long as he gets to watch it with you. Considering you slowly but surely lean against him, though, König doesn't try to stop you. You need your sleep, and he's glad to be your pillow. You don't even notice him pulling you into his lap, rubbing your back while the movie plays in the background as you fall asleep in his arms, but thanks to that, you also don't complain about him carrying you to bed with him, whispering his well-wishes and love confessions in your ear after he slips under the sheets with you, not afraid to catch your cold. It's nice as long as it lasts, and König knows he needs to treasure these moments. So while you allow him (unknowingly) to always be by your side, he takes the chance to do just that.

»»———————— ♡ ————————««    

Warning for Sexual Innuendo at the end

♡ While he might not catch your cold, even a strong soldier feels worn out occasionally. Given, his immune system is just as strong as he is, but König also suffers from a particular kind of sickness once he's under the weather... the man-flu. And yes, he's a huge, whiny baby about it.

♡ "Won't you take care of me, mein Schatz?"

♡ "Can I have a hug, please?"

♡ "Urgh, this is the worst. Don't leave me, please..."

♡ You might be able to run and hide from him for a while. Still, eventually, König will come to find you and drag you back to the couch or bed with him, forcing you into the little spoon so he can nuzzle his face into the nape of your neck or breathe in your smell as much as his nose allows. Somehow his shyness seems to go out of the window when he feels like "he's dying". He's just a big baby.

♡ Since you can't make him food, he'll order some for you guys, being very lenient in letting you get whatever you want. He'd order for you normally, but he's feeling too sick to do it. He just catches you from writing "I need help! I'm kidnapped!" in the comment box and sends it with a long groan of discomfort, but there's still some yummy food awaiting you, at least.

♡ If you do take pity, he'll be happy to drink whatever you get him. (If only he had sleeping pills accessible to you, right?) However, König insists that you praise him for taking sips and also drink from his cup to "prevent you from getting sick too". He also pulls you into his lap while you're holding the hot cup of tea, laughing it off when you burn him (which is a little disturbing).

♡ But in the end, needy as he is, you can't even escape him when he's sick. You go where he goes, be it the bath (even just to brush your teeth so he can lean against you since he's feeling "lightheaded") or the bed (meaning you just lay awake for hours while he smothers you with his body). I suppose it's nice he's a bit more honest with his feelings as he conveys that he needs you and to not fight him anymore, okay? You can try, but his grip around your wrists is still as firm as when he's healthy. So while he snores away, you simply have to endure being captured by him again, hip pressed to hip, as you feel the hints of a fever-boner poke you. But you're safe!

Until he wakes up.

[mixtapedoh]

How about lonely boy, lee know, and forced proximity?

@eclliipsed — i am thinking of you, specifically while writing this <3

;༊ — lonely boy

pairing: lee minho x gn!reader genre: fluff, office setting word count: ~3.6k warnings: language, situational stress, han is here stirring the pot, a startling amount of homicide jokes

olive’s notes: a unique challenge of writing lino fic that i did not before account for or even conceptualize is that when i think of said silly little stray kids cat boy, i think of him almost 99% of the time as 'lino' and like 0.9999999999% of the time as 'lee know'. lee minho? you mean the actor? it's not clicking up here, asdfghj. all that's to say, if i make a mistake and call him lino instead of minho, i'm so sorry, feel free to stone me in the square on whatever day is most convenient for you <3.

☄. *. ⋆ lee minho x forced proximity...

— society, as a collective, just loves their 9 to 5, right?

i mean, if it were actually a 9 to fucking 5, maybe you wouldn't be screaming, crying, throwing up, gnawing on the iron bars of your enclosure.

— but haha, as a general rule (collectively agreed upon at some point, or perhaps no one agreed so much as they were browbeaten into submission), more than society loves their 9 to 5, they love their workplace grindset culture.

gotta get those financial gains, amirite?

— which is all to say, you were simply enamoured, quite totally besotted with, completely captivated by and hopelessly devoted to your demanding, grueling, parasitic life-force of an office job.

and people had the gall to say you didn't have romance in your life.

clearly, they hadn't seen the zeal and devotion with which you dedicated yourself to your company issued computer, stacks of files, and white-walled cubicle.

after all, regular hours simply weren't enough for all the worship you had within you — you simply had to have both your mandatory overtime and your Implicitly Dictated and Oh-So-Reasonably Expected overtime hours as well <3 you did want to keep your job after all, and job security is such a silly little thing <3 corporate culture really is just soooo romantic in that regard <3 complete and utter devotion <3 commitment almost pious <3

until you managed to break away from the curse of Living in a Society and could live without bills, debt, responsibilities, more bills, more debt, and the desire for silly little (but financially substantial) hobbies to make this existence of yours worthwhile, your love affair with your job would simply have to stick.

— which made for the perfect little soup you were currently mired in. a thick broth of learned helplessness seasoned with intense loathing, a dash of interest in low stakes coworker drama, a sprinkling of compulsory people pleasing, a garnish of yes man energy, and an optional mix-in of untapped, constantly simmering rage.

so, of course you were best friends with han jisung.

— the universe really did do you a solid when they placed han jisung in the cubicle next to you.

perhaps the only employee that hadn't succumbed to the incessant humanity-sucking leech affectionately called a company, jisung was the only one who kept you sane when you were 56 hours deep in your work week and considering moving to a homestead on alaska where you would likely not even last a whole 72 hours — but, hey, you would at least get some sleep at the end of it when succumbing to the effects of hypothermia, so it didn't seem that bad of a gig, really (jisung always offered to cover half of the down payment cost, but at the end of the conversation, he'd just buy you a coffee and the two of you would call it even).

— and being friends with jisung was, all at once, both a blessing and a curse.

(because this is corporate living and existence is a fucking nightmare ~°~♫⭒~꘎ )

— poor excuses for jokes in your company chat box, sticky note battles during days when the mundane tasks you were assigned were mind-numbing enough to fell the strongest of corporate warriors, the constant "i owe you" back and forth when one of you went on a coffee or vending machine run and grabbed something for the other, and, of course, juicy gossip during your lunch break — all of these were the positives of being jisung's partner in captalist crime.

— but on the other hand, should either of your work be wanting in any regard... well... accountability is a word long enough to stretch between two.

— which led you to your current state of affairs.

"the next time you forget to delete your 'tongue-in-cheek' speaker notes on the powerpoint we're submitting for review from higher ups, i'm breaking your fingers so you can't type them in the first place."

but of course jisung just turns it into a joke about a hand kink.

— your punishment for 'distasteful' jokes left in the margins of official company output wasn't anything too severe — bless whatever cosmic force made it so that the generally easy going mr. ok taecyeon was the one to see jisung's fuck up, and not someone less forgiving — but it meant the next few weeks would be hell in the form of grunt work.

see, your company was expanding in the industry, and it meant that the building you were currently working in wasn't big enough to house all the ✨aspirational goals✨ it was just starting to believe in. thus, the majority of higher ups were going to move into a new office building... and for some ass-backward reason, so, too were all of the archives.

and someone had to go down there and box it all up, making sure it was properly labeled and in order.

sure, the company was just head-empty enough to have the desire to move physical archives to a new office building. but at least they wanted it all in order before they stuck it in a different dusty basement.

— the very first day you went to the basement and saw the sheer level of work the two of you had in store, you locked eyes with jisung and just knew that fucker was going to find some way to get out of it.

— on your lunch break you tried to beat him to the punch and defend your honor against the soul crushing weight of undue punishment. but alas! you had already taken vacation days in the last month (damn that kpop concert - did you really have to be that devoted to your ult group??) and han hadn't had a day off for the last 6 months.

how the hell did you end up doing the punishment work for actions that weren't even (mostly) yours?

han jisung better move to that alaskan homestead after all, nowhere else would ever be safe from your wrath... once you got out of this basement, of course.

— the most you were given was help in the form of lee minho — who would have thought that he of all people would be your saving grace?

maybe he'd help you plan jisung's murder. they were friends, true, but anyone who was around han long enough would not be opposed to plitting his demise. it was part of his elusive charm, after all. everything wonderful about him also lent itself to fodder for plotting his demise.

convenient, really, given the circumstances you were in.

— but back to lee minho. perfect performance lee minho. always last to leave the office lee minho. infuriatingly not suffering from looking chronically fatigued or daunted, overwhelmed, or simply fazed by the overzealous work culture you found yourselves in, lee minho. curt and focused but lacking of an edge that would make him unapproachable lee minho. impossible to pin down, the vitruvian man of corporate dreams, somehow the bosses favorite despite failing to do any of the sucking up some of your other coworkers engaged in almost religiously lee minho.

he didn't frustrate you; he didn't even really baffle you, but he didn't exactly occupy your brainspace in a way that could be described as indifference, y'know?

maybe this was something you could blame of jisung, too. he always talked about minho an ungodly amount, waxed poetic about how it was a shame that minho worked in a different department — how the two of you really would get along famously, but damn, if he couldn't convince either of you to spend any of your (perhaps two (2)) hours of off-duty life in the same place at the same time.

social lives, after all, were laughable, where the both of you were concerned.

— the day you walked down there and saw minho already elbow deep in a filing cabinet seemingly older than your parents (which, lamentably, was the worst organized filing cabinet you'd ever seen, and was regrettably representative of 95% of the work ahead of you), you laughed out loud and took the moment to convince minho to take a picture for you, so you could tell jisung that he was missing the Historic and Long Anticipated Meet Up, and that was the moment you realized that you were so deep in the basement, phone service was a pipe dream.

it wasn't a concern, really — you were both benefiting from the random employee benefit of free spotify premium, so your downloaded content was enough to get you through the long hours of organizing and packing, and hey! being in the basement meant no one really expected any more out of you than your required hours and whatever mandatory overtime you had left to complete.

— so really, jisung had been stupid as hell to avoid this punishment. it was effectively less work than you were used to (though tedious) and you were far enough away from your desk that the thought of the work piling up in the world above wasn't eating at you that much (at least not any more than usual; workplace anxiety and you were well acquainted, at that point <3)

— and minho! — god forbid you say anything complementary about that bastard han jisung while he left you (more than) 6 feet under, doing work that was, by many rights, his punishment — but he had been right when he said you and minho would gel.

he didn't disturb you, for the most part, but working in the same space for full work days with nothing to do but listen to podcasts and check the dates on dusty files meant that Annoying The Only Other Person In Your Vicinity became a welcome distraction from wallowing in the fact you were moving at a pace slower than desired. and he responded quite well to any question you threw his way - no matter how brain-dead, invasive, or embarrassing. in fact, he'd hit something back - put the ball in your court in a question almost more ridiculous, leaving you to question how jisung hadn't forced the two of you together sooner (but fuck jisung; all my homies are blaming this comedy of errors on jisung and are in this basement actively plotting his demise).

— and it didn't take you long to realize charming minho is almost exactly like getting a neighborhood cat to endear itself to you.

pspspsps at random (bat a stupid ass joke his way);

give him space but respond to his random bids for attention;

have a snack drawer (one of the first emptied out file cabinets furthest to the back of the archival area) and occasionally offer something sweet as a reminder that the snack drawer exists and is for joint indulging;

entertain him with logic puzzles and psychological warfare;

and, of course, shit talk your coworkers and company.

indulge the cats desire for destruction and mayhem; tell minho that whenever he was ready to put in his two-weeks, you'd be right there beside him and would run the paper shredder all night while he corrupted the files.

exist calmly and comfortable in the cat's space; work so well in tandem that you began anticipating the movements of the other.

spend quality time with the cat; both of you begining to wordlessly take your lunches at the table in the archival basement, instead of going all the way back up to the cafeteria, choosing instead to chat with each other and indulge in the other's niche interests and stupidly staunch opinions on poor pieces of media.

slow blink at the cat; catch yourself staring for a bit too long when he doesn't notice you looking, your thoughts getting all muffled and sappy as you become wholly fascinated by the slope of his nose and the softness of his big, dark eyes that look perpetually half-bored at work but sparkle with intelligence and mischief when you call out his name — lighting up with interest and disguised delight as that lazy, gummy smile makes it's way onto his features, eyebrows quirking upward, already expecting a challenge and...

— wait... what was that?

— is there absestos in the company walls, and that's why they decided to randomly move buildings? is there lead lining these filing cabinets? black mold in the ceiling? were you perhaps inhaling narcotics in this dusty ass air and hallucinating something vivid?

you were not developing a crush on someone just because you were stuck in the basement with this fool for going on two weeks now and hadn't seen another good looking coworker in quite some time. this wasn't some kind of drama where the ceo has a strange delight in forcing company employees into situations laced with ✨sexual tension✨. you weren't a main lead suffering from romantic withdrawals. remember your leech of a company. you have no time for shit like that.

— but, i mean, if you're never out of the office, perhaps finding romance in office is a solution...

shut the fuck up, you and minho weren't even in the same department. that point was moot.

— because damn, maybe asbestosis really was getting to you, and that's what was knocking the wind out of you any time minho smiled. yes, certainly the absestos in the walls was what was informing the way your heart constricted whenever the two of you brushed hands passing a file between you. maybe you should sue your company and have some hospital use you as a case study. maybe all the distracted daydreams was a new symptom of your newly contracted deadly disease.

see, that would make sense. you weren't catching a mean case of crushing on your forced proximity coworker, you were simply dying. because of the absestos.

— but even still, the day both of you piled all the boxes of (appropriately lableled) filing into a work car, and minho drove you over to the new building, the fresh air didn't seem to be a cure all. you were still a little more than distracted by his messy hair and black sunglasses... his concentration on the road... his pushed up sleeves... not to mention his hands wrapped around the steering wheel.

(but of course you'd snap out of your thoughts when you remember that joke jisung made about your supposed hand kink at the beginning of all this nonsense. shut the fuck up, memory ghost jisung. you don't know shit. you and minho had already talked about it and were coming for his broke ass the day he had the courage to step foot in the office again.)

— yeah, haha, you weren't crushing on lee minho because of a comedy of errors you had never dreamed would befall you in the first place. working alongside him hadn't woken anything in you. certainly not.

— and yeah, haha, you'd definitely be able to hide this from jisung when he came back. not a problem at all when he asks you about how sorting archives went (he had the gall to bring it up every five minutes — taunting you with the fact that he got to have 4 days off and was then reassigned to do answer all the emails that had piled up during his time out of office. yes, he had picked up some of the work originally meant to go to you, but still. a veritable traitor who deserved your absence from your usual lunch dates. and yes, it was hard to be slick when he'd bring up your casual absence from lunch — were you finding minho's company to be more than enough? — but you'd manage. like hell were you going to give the smug bastard satisfaction after he made you atone for his and also your crimes.).

— and yeah, haha, you'd would definitely be able to explain to a suspicious and put out jisung why you were canceling anime re-run night with him to instead go with minho to this hybrid cat-and-comic-book-cafe he had mentioned never being able to get a reservation for, despite living two blocks away from it. silly little things like that would be easy to wave away, right.

it's like, totally platonic for you and minho to meet up on your only day off to spend hours lounging at a cafe retreat together where you cooed at semi-sociable cats and joked about adopting and co-parenting the one who enjoyed wearing cute hats, and read comic books for hours and order food to share and have low-stakes debates about the best tropes and characters of shared beloved media.

it's not like that whole set up is incredibly date coded.

and it's not like it would become a recurring habit for minho to invite you to do things with him that would have jisung waggling his eyebrows even as you pleaded innocence and smacked him with whatever quasi-weapon you just so happened to have on your desk (mostly file folders and your favorite cat themed mini calendar).

— haha... it wasn't like you were down bad and incredibly bad at hiding your crush.

...right?

— you fool. you absolute buffoon. han jisung could smell your lies and poorly contained crush from thousands of leagues away. even if you weren't shit at hiding it, he would have known. he could have actually been on that remote homestead in alaska and still picked up on just how brain dead you were over your crush. you thought you were slick? when han jisung has a doctorate in anxious suspicion and twelve master's degrees in the art of bullshitting?

hell, he knew you were going to fall in love with minho before the two of you even met. why do you think he'd wanted to connect the two of you in the first place? because he thought you two needed a social life? please — he knew going in that putting the two of you in the same room was horrible for his self preservation; he knew it was practically undermining company goals because your joint productivity would fall 2000% and the amount of cat memes you two would send on company time would increase so exponentially, you'd both resort to making your own memes using your company paid subscription to adobe creative cloud; he knew that the two of you were almost scarily well matched and equally devoted to drinking your refusal-to-believe-i-can-be-loved-romantically juice.

he knew that you and minho would develop glaring crushes on each other and wouldn't do a damn thing about it beyond smoothly flirting for an afternoon, inviting the other out on dates-that-aren't-dates and promptly fake-gagging and denying in a manner almost theatric that you might *gasp* enjoy the other's company in a way not-so-platonic, only to do it all over again. a vicious cycle of 'stop feeding the rest of us lies and just kiss with tongue already, damnit.' and he knew all of your coworkers would be caught in the middle of it.

— which they were. for, like, a solid five months.

— now, it wasn't too bad, considering the fact that you and minho worked in different departments, but anytime there was cause for collaboration, suddenly you were clambering to be considered, no matter the intense workload or the way the task was slightly out of your wheelhouse. suddenly, it seemed you were incredibly eager to learn and prove yourself.

at first, your team leader was overjoyed. initiative? drive? a seeming zest and fire for more commitment? say less and do more! marry yourself to the dumbass collaboration with the other department! perhaps this could mean freedom for their long suffering servitude under the corporate thumb!

but then they saw you flirting with minho and making plans to spend an afternoon together at a book signing while still on the clock. and while they're not opposed to a bit of misuse of company time (vive la révolution contre les régimes capitalistes, and all that), it was a bitter and sobering pill to watch that shit happen daily while not getting any yourself, and then stomaching the fact that these clearlly love-struck fuckers won't admit their own transparency-set-to-0% feelings and put their chronically-single corporately-suffering coworkers to rest. either say you're in love and just be done with it or take the rest of us out with a shot gun. goddamn.

it's like a sitcom's mind-numbingly over-the-top valentine's day special. someone make it stop.

— and it didn't take a genius to connect the dots and realize that the employee responsible for all of this was han jisung.

after all, he's the mutual friend between them. no doubt he talked about the other constantly in glowing terms. no doubt he planted the seed they'd be a match made in heaven. no doubt he was the one to blame.

and! wasn't it his fuck up that forced you and minho to work together in the archives to begin with?

maybe killing han jisung wasn't going to make you and minho confess to each other, but it would be some kind of catharsis for the people who were stuck in this hell of Watching You Two Take Your Sweet Time With It.

— so jisung had to understandably think of some kind of plot. after all, the two of you were his best friends, but to hope that you would admit your feelings for someone to save his livelihood? don't be ridiculous. the both of you were quite happy with the flirting stage, as it currently stood.

— how to get your stubborn friends to admit their (very real and very reciprocated) feelings for each other... when there's no external or even internal pressure (on them, at least) to do so... jisung would have to think outside of the box.

or perhaps inside of it.

— which i'm sure is reason enough to explain how the both of you managed to get stuck in a closet during your company's holiday party.

and, through it all, is minho's mischievous eyes and your flair for the dramatic.

"do you think we should tell our coworkers we've been dating?"

☄. *. ⋆

blog home

[carionto]

I like to think the humans ambassador hides black powder weapons around their office instead of Lazer guns or plasma, just walks about with 2 hidden flintlock pistols

You sir or madam or otherwise have given me the biggest grin with that idea, thank you.

(me from after having written it out) I did not know where this idea would take me, stream of consciousness writing will do that.

----------------------

Every delegate of every integrated species aboard a Coalition governing station in their respective segment of the Galaxy receives full accommodations in the form of an isolated embassy structure.

One day, as per a Human custom, the main delegate - Ambassador Glenn York, invited several other delegates on a tour of his embassy. With some hesitation from a few due to their prey-like ancestry and associated cultural background, but ultimately won over by the Human's eager friendliness, they embarked on this little cultural exchange.

It was a little difficult to move about, as each embassy is adapted to suit the environmental preferences of the respective species, and Humans live on a high gravity and dense atmosphere world, so much so in fact, some of the less physically suitable delegates had to put on an exoskeleton, while many others required a breathing apparatus to thin out the poisonous air.

Once we were underway, Glenn showed us that the Humans were diligent in their work - acquiring information from and learning about all the various species within the Coalition, establishing communication lines with the respective counterparts in the disparately varied local government structures, and most importantly continually updating the translation modules.

In addition, we admired their art they had installed along the barren walls. Most, Glenn explained, was done by the delegates and their staff themselves during free time, and it ranged from tiny contraptions painstakingly assembled within a minuscule glass container (we did not realize they could hone their dexterity to such a precise degree!) to large murals covering an entire wall with the most vivid color and shape combinations one could imagine; from the very clear and obvious to impossibly abstract! Though the music they had to turn down - the vibrations of the thick atmosphere were beginning to overload the dampening systems and one of the delegates almost passed out.

Near the end of the tour, Glenn invited us into his office to show off what his "hobby" is:

"The boys and gals I work with are all talented people, but none of them appreciate the kind of craftsmanship I prefer. It's kind of a ancient art form, you see, high maintenance too, very delicate."

He pulls out a pair of ancient looking projectile weapons, at least judging by the shape, but none of us can quite grasp, aside from the trigger, how it operates. We are all silent as he pours some sort of fine grain from a small bag into the upturned tube then drops a small metal ball and proceeds to jam it further in with a cloth and stick.

"I handcrafted these myself. Sure, I could get a printer to do it and it'd be perfect, but perfection just ain't right when it comes to work of the soul, amirite? I find it therapeutic, to mold the shape, heat the iron, cast the shape, smooth the edges, straighten the barrel, carve the grip, roll the bullets, grind the powder... just..."

He lets out a long sigh of relief? satisfaction? euphoria? as he gazes with great affection at the pair of devices in his hands. We feel the urge to end the tour. Like. Right now. But Glenn insists on a demonstration. We hesitantly follow him to a largely empty room below where he sets up a couple of small wooden block on a pedestal. As he points one of the devices and is about to pull the trigger, he stops, looks back at us and says:

"Almost forgot, you'll want to take a few more steps back and turn your dampeners to max."

Heeding his advice, we do so, and after he appears satisfied with our... safety?... he returns his gaze to the wooden block and pulls the trigger.

[cacophony]

We awaken after a short while, the sturdier of our fellow delegates say the rest of us were out for just a few moments, but the ringing reverberation of the shockwave through the Human atmosphere still resonates throughout our bodies. Glenn, worry in his eyes, is apologizing profusely:

"Oh I am so sorry, I didn't think you'd still react so poorly. Is anyone hurt? I even put in less gunpowder than normal, but I guess that's still too potent. I--I'll file an official apology and compensate for any damages I may have caused to any of you. I will take full responsibility for this incident. Please do not think poorly of us as a whole due to the willfulness of one individual, it was never my intention to inflict any injury on anyone."

---Later---

After a thorough medical examination, it was determined that only a few delegates suffered a minor case of shock, which was alleviated rapidly at their respective medical stations. Ambassador Glenn York was reprimanded and sent back to Earth, a replacement will arrive shortly. The one permanent remnant of the incident is the wooden block that was struck by Glenn's pistol - now put on a small display in one of the inner rooms of the Human embassy. The bullet still embedded half-way and the splinters it shot out arranged in a chaotic manner, befitting an explosion, down in front.

[vitaetmorsfilo]

this is a list of moments where natsu is smart (and then some, i couldn't stop myself) (episodes from 17 to 32)

- when fighting zalty, upon learning about time arc, deduced that it does not work on people, which ultear elaborated as it not working on any living matter

- when deliora started to crumble, caught on that this damage was not done by him

- when our team returned to the now fully undamaged village, natsu figured that that must be work of time arc

- when sherry and yuka came to village, natsu quickly told erza that yuka's magic can cancel out other's magic (in comparison, lucy told that sherry's magic is controlling trees and stones, like, girl, didn't she explicitly said that she can make puppets out of everything, excluding humans?)

- (on another note, in the episode where natsu, lucy, happy, gray, erza and loki's bodies and souls got shuffled, how did natsu managed to read that spell? it was in an ancient language that gave even levy trouble)

- i mean, even when he turned out mistaken, he recognised happy's egg as dragon's egg, because it had slash-like markings (like, we don't know how exactly dragon eggs look like, so it's a fifty-fifty chance that he was right)

- (on yet another note, makarov saying that you can't hatch an egg with magic? and that in general for there to be life there supposed to be love? it falls pretty in place as to how natsu himself was revived by zeref. after all, zeref genuinely loved natsu, and thats how he managed to revive him in the first place. if he held no love, then natsu would've still be dead after attack on his village. damned stubborn dragneels, amirite?)

- (also, i'm probably being delusional, but aren't first arcs strangely and loosely correlate with natsu's backstory? like, with macao being taken-over by vulcan = how zeref was consumed by his curse? or maybe how they searched for macao, when he was in their sight all along = igneel actually being sealed in natsu's soul, when natsu searched for him all around fiore? and daybreak book being saved by lucy from being destroyed and figuring out secret message from it = lucy being the one who rewrote e.n.d. book thus saving natsu from dying? yep, i'm being delusional-)

- figured that it was gajeel behind the attack on guild hall and team shadow gear (which is, like, okay, for us its obvious, but gajeel seemed surprised when natsu said that, did he really thought so low about natsu that he won't figure it out?)

- (have you fucking seen him when he overheard that lucy was taken by phantom lord? my boy was going to smoke that goon right then and there, he is down bad-)

- (he was SO going to go back to beating the shit out of phantom lord, nevermind his injured guildmates and master and order from erza to retreat, but the moment he saw lucy cry and starting apologising and blaming herself, HE FUCKING FOLDED LIKE A PRETZEL, my boy is down bad)

- went to destroy jupiter before it accumulated power for another shot, which is honestly a solid plan

- when fighting totomaru, under the guise of letting out a roar, managed to spit on totomaru (which is... i don't know if it was intentionally planned or not, it could go either way, but i think the first variant is way funnier)

- managed to redirect totomaru's sword at the giant lacrima, and when he figured out how to fight totomaru by spreading his flames further even if they are under control and how to make them not susceptible to the control itself, got a fluke shot at totomaru that actually went flying into sword in lacrima, which was his target to begin with

- (onto yet another note, what was your fucking plan lisanna? hope that your words alone would reach elfman? without any kind of back-up plan, or at least some thought put into evading him in case he attacks, or measures to defend yourself? you are stupidly lucky that anima picked you up)

- when fighting gajeel, dissipated his roar with bare hands, wild

- when he heard that gajeel's dragon also dissapeared, he quickly connected it with igneel's dissapearence too

[twwings]

so I spent the last few months just marathoning The Magnus Archives??? I was curious and I have a long-ish commute that I need to fill with audio, so I went for it. I was somewhat spoiled by fanart I saw randomly over the years but not entirely spoiled, and I quite enjoyed it. Some thoughts (both positive and negative thoughts below) because I wanted to write them down as I chew over the show. Also my ramblings might be pleasurable to folks who are big fans and enjoy hearing about people listening to their thing for the first time?

Spoilers for all of TMA, but as I haven't listened to The Magnus Protocol yet (I'm sure I will) no spoilers for that.

thoughts in no particular order:

didn't know that my trypophobia could be activated aurally! thanks, season one. it's good to learn about yourself

because I had seen lots of fanarts around, I knew that Jon/Martin would eventually be a canon thing, so I just spent the early episodes making fun of Jon whenever he was mean about Martin. Jon would be like "ugh, Martin, amirite?" and I'd yell at the car speakers like "lol you're gonna MARRY that guy"

sometimes I found the show a little boring or too expositiony (like the episode where Leitner shows up) and it made me think a lot about the conditions of production, like, having fans who were super into the show and red stringing it up clearly made them want to explain things sometimes in a way not necessary to the story - or, at least, it didn't feel necessary to me as a casual listener who was coming in after the fact and not part of the fandom. maybe it felt necessary for other folks, or to the cast and crew at the time.

relatedly, oh god, I did not keep up with all the plotlines and stuff. like it took me a WHILE to realize that the show was not just gonna be standalone/anthology stuff and would have an overarching plot so I did not pay attention early on to repeated names or plots. and because I was listening on my commute I was like "welp, can't google it, gonna let it go" and I did. I'm here to tell you that the magnus archives is still enjoyable even if you don't care that much about what's going on

when I did really start to care was the end of season four/season five. absolutely love that they went there with the end of season four (I thought it'd just be a buffy-style "now we fight a BIGGER big bad at the end of this season" escalation forever, but no, they unleashed hell on earth, baller move, A+, loved it

so I was spoiled that Martin (and Jon? I wasn't sure) died at some point, though I didn't really know where or how. I also saw someone post something like "oh TMA, great show, too bad it ends after five minutes into episode 160" so from that I kind of extrapolated that Martin died in episode 160? so my experience of listening to that one was REALLY on tenterhooks because the first five minutes was Martin going for a nice walk! and then Jon getting taken over by the statement! so while listening to the middle bit of 160 I was convinced that when Martin came back from his walk Jon was gonna kill him (while possessed, obviously) as part of the ritual thing. so really the following 40 episodes of Martin being alive were pretty sweet to me. Every episode after that when Martin was alive I was like, score, bonus, love it, I'm glad Jon didn't stab him three seconds after they got into a relationship

kept listening for a physical description of Jon to match all the fanart and never got one? I guess the fanon of what Jon looks like is just super consistent for some reason?

hated Tim, I can't disguise it, I hated Tim and I was glad when he died and I was glad he didn't come back, sorry Tim fans, live your truth and I will live mine

wish there weren't so many cops on this show, tho the show did seem to recognize that a little in S5 and try to do some things about it

I'm just a huge sucker for every genre experiment in S5. omg I loved it. Terminus gets a coroner's report, The Unknowing gets slam poetry, The Flesh gets a gardening manual?????? mwah. it made me excited for the format of the statements again when they'd gotten stale. so many smart and interesting genre experiments in S5! and I, like Jon, don't even like poetry (just write some prose! I've never identified with a character more), so you know I'm impressed when I'm exclaiming about some poem

seriously! the genre experiments!!! so good

"queer couple navigate their new relationship and also The Hellscapes" = amazing, ty, also ty for doing it twice

somehow I managed not to notice the line about Jon being asexual at first and then I saw some tumblr post about it and I was like, wait what? my brain had gone pretty far down into some non-asexual fanfiction stories before I got that bit of canon and had to record-scratch freeze-frame. anyway I am pleased by the ace rep and hope to go read some non-sexual D/s for them in the future, please tell me if you know some good stuff

please also tell me if you know about fanfictions where Martin consensually feeds Jon his own memories and it's weird and intense

saw a cute fluffy domestic fanart where Jon was blind (ie had blinded himself to escape the eye) and I laughed and laughed that this is a fandom in which the happy fluffy AUs are the ones where the characters have violently blinded themselves. not to say I'm not gonna read the fluffy AUs where they've violently blinded themselves, I am, I'm sure they're lovely, it's just funny

don't think I wasn't thinking about Crowley and Aziraphale in the episode where Jon is like "what if we ran away together" in season four. When Jon is like "What if we ran away together, you and me, we could do it, what if we did" and he absolutely knows that Martin is not gonna say yes and maybe he doesn't want Martin to say yes but he wants to ask him anyway, he wants to try it anyway, because the fantasy of escape, together, is overpowering. anyway don't think I didn't think about Crowley

also laughed and laughed at the like four episodes at the end where Jon is like "maybe I should . . . . . . . . . . . become the Torment Nexus? From the classic scifi novel, Don't Become the Torment Nexus?" and first Martin and then everyone else is like "Jon, don't become the Torment Nexus" and it's really clear that you should not become the Torment Nexus but then later Jon says fuck it and becomes the Torment Nexus

I say it's really clear but the idea that you should strand and isolate and burn out the powers is not a bad one. I did like that the second to last episode was just a debate on morality with no clear resolution. that's a lovely way to send off your characters. tho it didn't matter a lot to the end plot? but still.

Jon "I think I'll just become the Torment Nexus" Simms, istg

THE TORMENT NEXUS

Sue Simms' voice is incredibly hot, Gertrude Robinson is absolutely deadass smokin, love how the Legend of Gertrude just built up over the seasons until by the end she was this like powerful callous avenging angel, no notes, might build a shrine in the woods with pictures of Gertrude in little jars

Gerry and Jurgen were both madly in love with her and she didn't notice or care because she was too busy kicking ass, no notes AT ALL

I really like the bit at the beginning of S5 where Jon is depression-listening to old archives tapes, like it's really effective to do the birthday party flashback just there when the world's just been apocalypsed, but I can't stop thinking about how Jon is listening to that tape and, in retrospect, being like "did Elias/Jonah use his all-powerful knowledge and vision to find out that there was cake in the office?" idk it really feels like Elias's motives in that flashback are like "eat cake" and no one else realizes that he's used his monstrous evil eye power to locate cake. anyway I imagine that Jon had all of these thoughts during his depression

Basira made me laugh ALL THE TIME, the voice acting was so good and she was so over everyone's shit. but at the same time there's this real softness to her at the end of S5 after she's killed Daisy, like she's still tough and grounded in her own perspective but suddenly more compassionate or sympathetic. she has such a good journey over the show

were Basira and Daisy a thing? I could not tell. maybe I should not ask. maybe I am not meant to know. maybe even asking shows how little I know, because their intense and murderous bond exceeds traditional relationship categories

I had a really nice time!!!

I will need to read fanfictions

I will need to watch animatics

I will need to seek out fanarts

the end

[ki-kink]

He was like the ultimate MAGA posterboy, living his best life until he totally messed things up with that Mexican voodoo queen. It was like a major league fail, bro, like seriously, he should've known better than to mess with her mystical vibes. She put a hex on him that was straight out of a horror movie, and he was left shooketh like never before. That's some next-level spooky stuff, y'all, like, he should've just stayed in his lane and not messed with the witchy powers, but oh well, live and learn, amirite?

[spacexseven]

oooo a demon au! I like it! question, do you think demon chu and daz would be content with just tormenting darling for the rest of their days and leaving it at that, or would they want the relationship to... progress, at some point? like I feel like this can go one of two ways 1) demon yan just wants to torment their little human until they break and then move on or 2) demon yans possessive feelings take a more romantic, softer (soft used VERY generously here) note and they move onto courting practices. of course demonic courting is objectively terrifying and you probably won't realize that's what they're even trying to do but, you know. modern dating, amirite? I could see dazai specifically learning about what marriage is from watching your TV unsupervised and becoming VERY taken with the idea. chuuya would probably think it was stupid, he doesn't need a RING or a damned PRIEST to stake his claim on you! (though, maybe you'd appreciate the effort? hm... much to consider)

or maybe it'd be a mix of both, or a secret third thing I haven't thought of yet!

also what kind of demons do u think the boys are? dazai is giving me incubus vibes from the way you've written him so far but I can also see him being very torture-oriented, maybe even some kind of eldritch monstrosity entirely in his own league. demon!dazai saying he wants to lock you up in his little torture hell dimension for all eternity and thinks he's VERY romantic for saying it too! mmmm chuuya would definitely be a much more powerful sort than one might intitally assume. has a very large sphere of influence, possibly even his own cult (that might cause issues for you down the road). who knows!

- 🩹

cw: yandere characters + themes, implied imprisonment, mentioned murder and violence, chuuya has a cult

i like the sound of chuuya having a cult of fervent worshippers; since he's so well known and revered for his strength and his power, it would make sense as to why someone decided to curse you by tacking him onto you. it was obvious that under normal circumstances, you'd have been devoured by the demon by now.

speaking of cults, you're shocked at first to know that he has one. chuuya tells you he doesn't care for his human worshippers (does that mean he has demon worshippers, too?) but it's somewhat true that fear is power for him. he doesn't care about their antics, but he was pleasantly surprised to see them offer sacrifices and relics to him (though he doesn't mention the first to you, knowing how...weak human hearts are)

he doesn't take you to see it, of course, unsure of whether his worshippers would be happy to see you by his side, or feel offended that he had to be tied down to a human. of course, he was ready to slaughter them all at a moment's notice if you would feel better about it, but you seemed appalled by the suggestion.

for the most part, he's definitely a lot softer than dazai. sure, he has a better understanding of human relationships, having mingled more with people than dazai, but it doesn't mean his understanding isn't skewed. chuuya thinks that kidnapping a priest will mean that your wedding will be recognized by the divine law, and he doesn't know why you'd be upset when he offers you the corpses of every person who's ever slighted you as a wedding gift.

putting dazai with a human is the worst thing to ever happen because he has no understanding of how humans work. why are they so weak, and small? why are they so frightened by everything? why are they so preoccupied by that strange box with flashing lights??

initially, he's all about making your life a literal living hell. he almost felt embarrassed that you of all people summoned him, to be honest, and he takes it out on you. since you were able to bring him here, stupid human, you should be able to keep him as well! but as we've discussed, his torment turns into something strange. it's thanks to human technology that dazai learns that humans like when a potential partner brings them gifts and helps them out, so when he sees you suffering trying to finish all your work, he happily burns down the pile of paper and brings you the ashes in a little jar he made the other day. oh, and they like verbal assurances and physical affection? dazai is always cooing at you about how smart you are for a human, and then proceeds to literally wrap himself around you and pet your hair.

god forbid he decides to surprise you with a visit to his home. while he promises you that you'll just love his majestic castle, you don't expect to be shown a very...in-depth tour of his torture chamber as well. and then he grins at you and says that he'll love for you to stay with him longer, all the while holding his one-of-a-kind, custom made blade in one hand.