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rallamajoop · 2 months ago

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So why are there so many gay vampires?

From the time of Carmilla all the way up to the works of Anne Rice (a universe that seems to get only less subtle as the years go on), gay vampires have been a thing basically as long as anyone was writing about vampires. Lesbian vampires have been a genre all their own for decades. Bram Stoker, author of the most famous vampire novel ever written, was gay himself. So why vampires specifically?

I’ve seen people attempt to answer this one before, and there are all sorts of contributing factors I could point to here, from the genres’ beginnings with Lord Byron (infamous bisexual disaster fuckboy), to modern discourse about why queer folks so often find themselves identifying with the monsters and outcasts of fiction. Few other monsters besides vampires can so easily pass for ‘normal’, or are nearly so well known for their snappy dress sense and ‘unnatural cravings’ for human flesh. And that’s without even getting into all those skeezy outdated stereotypes casting queer people as predators, or the idea that even one ‘gay experience’ could somehow ‘convert’ you into being one yourself.

But to my mind, there’s just one really important thing that makes vampires so gay, and it’s the same thing that makes them sexy in the first place: plausible deniability.

You see, a vampire’s bite is simultaneously a) ridiculously sexual, and b) not even a little bit sexual at all.

You don’t have to look far for vampire canons where there’s nothing sexy about being bitten by a vampire. Bloody, violent, painful, sure ‒or just clinically miserable, human bodies torn open or hung up to drain like a human blood bag. What’s sexy about getting bitten by a mosquito, or a fecking leech? The diet of the actual vampire bat requires it to process so much water that it apparently spends mealtimes busily pissing out the difference, and the anti-coagulants in its saliva leave the wound bleeding messily long after it’s gone. The basic act of feeding is no more inherently sexual for a vampire than it is for a zombie.

Vampires are even a surprisingly acceptable monster to market to children. There’s a vampire muppet, a cartoon about a vampire duck, and a whole series of books about a vampire rabbit. You can put a vampire on the side of a cereal box without undue outrage. Vampires do not have to be R-rated for sex or violence.

So of course vampires will go after victims of the same sex. Do you stop to inquire whether the cow you’re eating was male or female? It’s all just predator and prey!

Until it’s everything but.

Do not let the ‘vampires aren’t supposed to be sexy!’-purists fool you. The tradition of sexy vampires goes all the way back to the oldest folklore, where the first victim of a newly-risen vampire was often their still-living spouse. Vampires were even occasionally known to get women pregnant (a convenient excuse for any widow who might turn up pregnant slightly too many months after their husband's death). The ‘original’ Nosferatu sounds more like an incubus than the naked mole-rat creature they made that movie about. The demon lover aspect of the vampire has been there all along.

And it’s not hard to imagine why. If someone is biting and sucking on your neck, then either they’re a vampire, or they’re well on the way to second base (other folklore has its vampires feed directly from their victim’s heart, which is scarcely less suggestive). The implications of an exchange of bodily fluids were never subtle, even in Stoker’s day (I'm looking at you, Lucy-with-the-three-husbands), and the vampire as a sexual predator was a popular literary device well before Stoker's time. Beautiful vampire women would seduce men to their demise, and the males of the species might visit the bedroom of some innocent maiden time and again. The Victorian obsession with mesmerism, meanwhile, provided the perfect explanation for how victims might be hypnotised into eager compliance, and perhaps not even remember being fed upon at all. Vampires have been the ultimate guilt-free sexual fantasy since way back in the day, compatible with all your awkward Victorian mores! (Not quite ready to admit they're sexual fantasies? No problem: he's just here to, y'know, suck on your neck a bit. No subtext here!)

The whole act of biting is so suggestive that in the early years of vampire cinema, it wasn’t shown at all, not even between opposite-sex participants. The camera of 1922’s Nosferatu maintains a demure distance during the climactic scene where the heroine is finally bitten and slowly drained of blood, and Universal’s Dracula conveniently fades to black or cuts away whenever it’s about to take place. But even if the biting has to take place off screen, who’s to say a vampire isn’t going to pick victims of both sexes?

The stately tradition of the lesbian vampire has cinematic examples going all the way back to 1936, with Universal’s Dracula’s Daughter. Though the titular vampire has a nominal male love interest – a psychologist who naively advises her to confront her temptations without fear – the result of his advice is a famous sequence where she picks up a young woman under the premise of wanting an artist's model, and convinces her to remove her top. No actual biting or nudity is shown (it was only 1936), but her fate is left in little doubt.

By the era of 70’s sexploitation, all such subtlety had been abandoned. If we’re all good with naked boobs, who’s going to be offended by a little biting?

In fact, when it comes to men rather than women, a vampire bite was, for many years, far too sexy to be shown, or even alluded to. Nosferatu clearly feeds on that film’s Jonathan-expy, but our only evidence is the bitemarks on his neck in the morning, and the final sacrifice to defeat the evil monster must naturally be female. Universal’s Dracula had to ignore explicit studio mandate that only the brides should be allowed to feed on their own Jonathan-equivalent, as to even imply that Dracula himself had fed upon a man was obviously far too homoerotic to contemplate (never mind that it’s Dracula who must be established as the threat in this opening sequence, or that it’s Dracula his victim will spend the rest of the film obsessed with).

But in that unspeakable land of male-on-male homoeroticism, you might be surprised how much homo we can squeeze in even without resorting to fangs-in-necks. The Lost Boys is surely one of the most homoerotic vampire films ever made, but there, the one big blood-drinking scene is rendered in a bloody massacre of slasher-movie violence. And though Anne Rice certainly describes the scene where Lestat drains Louis of blood in lurid detail (and even has them spend their first sunrise together sharing a coffin), Louis is already thoroughly seduced before he ever reaches this point.

You see, the lore of the pop-cultural vampire conveniently comes with a second and equally-compelling target for plausible deniability: the act of making a new vampire.

Obviously, to work, this has to be deliberate. A world where anyone bitten by a vampire becomes one hasn’t much to offer us, and the relationship between maker and fledgling can just as easily be framed as parental, as recruitment into a cult, or purely transactional. But whichever way you twist it, the implications of choosing another to share in your own eternal youth and immortality… like, I don’t have to spell this one out for you, do I? Did I mention how that thing where a vampire’s traditional first victim tended to be their own mortal widow goes all the way back?

But if we’re not ready to be completely obvious with our mainstream audience, some alternative explanation can always be provided for cover. Lestat doesn’t really want Louis, he just wants Louis’ money! (He also really wants Louis.) The Lost Boys just want Michael to join their gang! (Their very, very pretty gang, who swan around in mesh shirts, tank tops and assless chaps.)

The two sides of the vampire-deniability coin aren’t mutually exclusive, either. Carmilla drinks her new paramour’s blood, but also gazes into her eyes while promising her you will be mine. Drinking blood is a key part of making a new vampire in so many vampire stories, after all.

Carmilla isn’t even the only gay vampire story of the Victorian era. I recently posted about two other fascinating examples, both featuring male/male pairings: one being pretty much just a gender-flipped version of Carmilla, and the other a tragic love story filled with significant "vampire = gay lover" metaphors (why oh why must the townsfolk keep us apart, when we’ll only ever be happy once we’re united once more?) This stuff goes surprisingly far back.

In fact, you can find queer subtext in vampire fiction that predates even Byron and Polidori. 1819's The Vampyre was the first published vampire story, yes, but the first known work of vampire-fiction in the English language is a poem published by John Stagg in 1810, also called The Vampyre (look, the genre didn’t exist yet, you didn’t have to be creative with your titles).

In brief, Stagg’s poem recounts a conversation between a wife (Gertrude) and her dying husband (Herman), whose dear friend Sigismund, lately deceased and deeply mourned, has returned as a vampire. Night after night, he crawls into Herman’s room to drain his blood. Herman’s fate is already sealed, but unless Gertrude takes action, it will surely be she that Herman will take as his own first victim when he rises from the grave.

There may be nothing intentional about the queer subtext of this tale. A vampire’s victims often include friends he knew in life, as Stagg himself cites in his introduction. But if Herman’s first victim will be his wife, what are we to read about the fact Sigismund’s first victim is Herman? Especially given how long he’s kept secret from poor Gertrude that his dear ‘friend’ has been climbing into his bedroom each night, lying beside him in bed and sucking and draining "the fountain of my heart!" while Herman moans and tosses (in pain, obviously!), always leaving him "exhausted, spent." Ultimately, Gertrude is saved only when both Herman and Sigismund are staked through the heart, and we close on the image of them slumbering together in the tomb.

It is, however you turn it, pretty gay.

I reiterate: this is the very first known work of vampire fiction written in the English language. The second was the one that was kind-of-written-by, kind-of-stolen-from, and unambiguously based on bisexual-disaster-fuckboy Lord Byron. And the two most influential works of vampire fiction of the next hundred years would be Carmilla, the very lesbian vampire story written by a… presumably straight man? And Dracula, the not-completely-convincingly-hetero story written by #1 Walt Whitman fanboy Bram Stoker. Vampires have always been very equal-opportunity kind of monsters.

There are, of course, plenty of influential heterosexual vampire tales to fill out the roster too. Varney the Vampire, a penny dreadful from the 1840s, was so successful it ran for over 200 chapters. The 1960s had their own wildly successful Varney-equivalent in the soap opera Dark Shadows. Love it or hate it, we really can't ignore Twilight either. My own introduction to the genre was Christopher Pike’s The Last Vampire series, which came out alongside the original Vampire Diaries novels. So there's plenty of material around to keep the straights entertained – and honestly, that’s only as it should be, because the very thing that makes vampires so queer-friendly is that the sex of their victims doesn’t matter. And it’s so easy to make vampires sexy (let alone a full vampire-proposal!) that even the Victorians could do it.

Now, if your reaction to all this theorising is to tell me "but the LGBTQ’s shouldn’t have to hide behind plausible deniability!" I can only counter, "well sure, but why should the straights have all the fun?" Because playing with all the ambiguity of "is this monster really just after my blood or is this going somewhere?" can be all sorts of fun, regardless of the genders involved. And as long as they’re up for exchanging bodily fluids with persons-and-or-victims of either gender equally, why not have some fun with it?

So, okay, maybe the real title of this post should have been "why are there so many pansexual vampires?" But the answer doesn’t change. Vampires have been the bisexual disaster fuckmonsters for as long as anyone’s been writing about vampires, and have been a metaphor allowing people publish barely-coded gay attraction since 1872. And much like the queer community, they’ve only become more complex, more sympathetic, and all the more popular as romantic paramours as the years have gone by.

#gay vampire stuff #Interview with the Vampire #Dracula #What We Do In The Shadows #The Lost Boys #Bram Stoker #Anne Rice #Carmilla #lesbian vampires

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cobragardens · 1 year ago

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Aziraphale's Ring Is a Queer Symbol

In a previous post I hold forth about the symbolism of the lion rampant on the escutcheon of Aziraphale's signet ring. The upshot is that the golden lion is used by Heaven as a symbol of its threat and its merciless, murderous corporate culture, and I argue that in S3 Aziraphale must subvert this stamp of Heavenly ownership and symbolically redefine the golden lion by summoning the courage to be soft.

Now I've learned some new stuff about how signet rings are worn. Come, sistren, and get nerdy with me.

Aziraphale's ring is one of several we see angels wearing in Good Omens. Here in an indispensably useful post, @indigovigilance lists the known rings of Show Omens angels and those rings' qualities and placement. Note how of the angels who have rings, everyone except Saraqael and Aziraphale wear their rings on their LEFT pinky fingers. There's a reason for this.

Since the medieval period in Britain and Germany, and from there in the U.S., signet rings have been bestowed by professional associations as a sign of membership, particularly at the upper end of society: trade guilds, colleges, hospitals, the Church(es), noble families, and societies like the Freemasons all issue(d) signet rings to some of their members. The traditional placement for signet rings of show professional affiliation is the left pinky finger.

In fact, as it was not socially acceptable in or past the Victorian era for men to wear rings on more than one finger, men who wore signet rings and wedding rings both would have their wedding rings sized to fit the pinky finger below the signet. If a ring had to be moved to preserve masculinity, it wasn't the pinky ring that was going anywhere. Family signets can be worn on any of a number of fingers, but since the Victorian period the men of the British Royal Family (who are from Germany) have been especial sticklers about wearing their signets on their left pinky fingers as well.

So. If you're British and you have a signet ring that's meant to indicate professional affiliation, you wear it on your left pinky.

But Aziraphale wears his signet ring on his RIGHT hand.

Before I offer my opinion on what that means, here's some more fun background on the history and significance of pinky rings in Anglo-American culture:

The Victorian period was when pinky rings started to become associated with queerness.

As fellow members of the Hundred Guineas Club, Oscar Wilde and Aziraphale would likely have been acquaintances.

According to Wikipedia (ibid.):

"During the Victorian era, both single men and women uninterested in pursuing marriage could wear a ring on the little finger of their left hand."

This quickly expanded to a pinky ring on either hand. Here's Wikipedia's picture of farmer and philanthropist Caroline Rose Foster in 1917, the Edwardian era, wearing a pinky ring on her right hand:

Do you smell a euphemism in "uninterested in pursuing marriage"? I do!

By midcentury--so only 30 years after Ms Foster up there--American and British queers, both men and women, were using signet pinky rings specifically to signal queerness to each other.

"For gay men in the 1950’s and 60’s, a way of signaling to others was through the wearing of a signet ring on the pinkie finger."

"During the 1950’s and 60’s signet rings were worn to signify membership of the gay community; both lesbians and homosexual men wore such rings."

The pinky rings @indigovigilance points out Maggie wears may mean she's an angel; they also match her midcentury lesbian style. Devious of the costumers to give her pinky rings on both hands rather than commit to one or the other.

Screenshot by @indigovigilance

To review, there are three reasons a person in Anglo-American culture might wear a pinky ring:

They just feel like it--This can be any kind of ring and can be worn on either hand or both

Professional affiliation--This is a signet ring worn on the left pinky finger

To signal queerness--This is a signet ring and can be worn on either pinky finger

Aziraphale has worn a signet ring on his RIGHT pinky finger at least since he repaired the Eastern "Gate" in the Wall of Eden, so I'm not suggesting that he adopted the 20th-century pinky signet trend to signal his queerness (although as a clockably 'gay' 'man,' Soho fixture, and member of the Hundred Guineas Club, he may well have started it). What I am suggesting is that Aziraphale has been given a ring by Heaven that Heaven intends him to use to show his professional affiliation, but as with the flaming sword he gives away, Aziraphale doesn't use the ring for its intended purpose. By wearing the ring on his right hand, Aziraphale removes the option of interpreting it as a symbol of his professional affiliation with Heaven and renders it strictly a personal ornament. He subverts a symbol of Heavenly menace into an object of beauty and queerness.

I mean queerness in both senses. If a human takes any symbolic notice of his ring, they'll note the signet is on his right hand and conclude Aziraphale is gay. If another angel takes any notice of it, they'll conclude Aziraphale is a bit odd--that he doesn't pay attention to the finer points of how to fit in with the archangels, doesn't do things like other angels do.

In conclusion, pinky signet rings as a queer signal are just the fucking coolest and I vote we bring them back immediately.

#good omens #good omens s2 #good omens 2 #aziraphale #aziraphale's ring #good omens lgbtq #pinky rings lgbtq #pinky rings as queer flagging #good omens angel rings #saraqael #michael #uriel #sandalphon

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muffinsin · 3 months ago

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hi hello hola bonjour aloha 😵😵😵😵

OKOKOK SOOOOOOO ........ i know this request is weird BUUUUTTTT could u maybe possibly do the dimitrescus being with someone (as in, having an s/o) thats a humanoid arachnid??? If im spelling that correctly? rahhh idk

like, imagine those spider-people with like, agile spider legs on their back, sharp fangs, multiple, red/purple/gray eyes, dark fluffy hair, red/purple/other markings, etc etc. I think it would be funny since theyre literally flies dating a spider .. which eats flies

u can use doctor octavius as reference for the spider leg placement if u didnt understand, or like, angel dust??? Its up to ur interpertation, really, but id prefer if they did have normal human legs .. and features .. since a giant spider with a human head feels unnatural .. giggle, giggle

AS ALWAYS!!! take care!!!!!! Make sure to take breaks inbetween requests!!!!!

WITH MUCH LOVE AND LESBIANISM 😈😈😈😈 (the gayness directed at the dimitrescus .. not u, becauze .. i dunno u .. and thats weird)

-- 🐾🧃, AKA JUNGLE JUICE 👽👽👽

Piece out! (Not peace, i require violence)

Hell yeah!!🙌 Funnily enough, I think there was once talk of an arachnoid reader on this blog, but the idea got lost somewhere. I’m happy to dive back into it now!👀 Let’s get into it!

Masterlists

Bela

What started out as a sudden introduction in the forest, soon became more

Back then already, Bela was- unsurprisingly- intrigued by you

After all, your appearance alone is enough to make most double check whether they saw right

And she was certainly no better

Though, at the very least you did the same then, not quite believing you ran into one of the infamous Dimitrescu daughters

During your first interaction, time almost stood still as the two of you inspected one another-

you, standing in place when you ran just moments ago,

Bela, stilled with her sickle held in her hand, as though frozen like a deer in the headlights upon running across you

- it was a cute moment, even, in itself. Both of you, stunned by each other

Where you saw a pair of strong, piercing golden eyes, she saw multiple pairs of eyes

You watched then as she studied them almost, her own flickering across your face

The two eyes at the center of your face, human-looking in every aspect but their colour

A dark grey, she originally thought

In time, she would find and adore the specks of red and purple in them, only found upon closer inspection. But more of that later

Then, more eyes, stretching across the side of your forehead almost

5 of them, some more slit than others, some smaller, some larger

She shivered at the sight, but even you saw the curiosity shimmer within her back then already

It was clear to both of you that neither was mortal. Not entirely so, at least

Where you saw her regal, almost gothic and Victorian dress and the sickle, she spotted torn clothing

A villager, or at the very least that’s what you used to be

Only was your clothing torn and almost webbed shut again, the strings keeping your cloths together so fine they couldn’t possibly be any fabric or wool

While her fingers held the sickle tight, your long ones moved slightly, as if restless

More things were apparent immediately, such as,

Your long, strong legs allowing you to stand tall, nearly the same as Bela

Something unusual, certainly

And then, of course, the other pair

The strong, somewhat thin pair of arms or legs- Bela could never quite tell- sprouting from your back

The fuzzy, dark hair falling down your shoulders and back, a little too untrimmed, a little too wild for even the villagers’ standards

And the strange marks stretching across your bare arms

Neither of you attacked one another, then

In fact, neither of you moved, until the sounds of the angry mob of villagers faded away

You don’t entirely remember most of what happened after, only remember begging her to take you with her

Despite its reputation, you knew working and living at the castle must be better than starving out at the forest

And, holding the same curiosity in her tone, she agreed and took you in

Only were you no mere staff member, dusting this and that

You were Bela’s favorite

And everyone knew

You worked for her only, didn’t take orders from even the head maiden

The two of you spent more and more time together, chatting and sharing bits and pieces of yourselves

Your- nature- certainly made your work more challenging and fun

As such, at times, you would hold onto the walls with the limbs stemming from your back and climb high to the ceiling to dust even the top of the shelves

Often- surprisingly often given how busy she was- Bela opted to join you

Not in cleaning, of course. You’re sure she thinks it’s below her

Instead, she’d often- and still does- swarm halfway, as if sleeping on an invisible mattress in the air

She’d watch you work, talk occasionally

At other times, she’d trace your limbs gently when no words were exchanged

And, unsurprisingly, the ever growing bond and fondness between the two of you leads to something more

While Bela was the first to initiate things, you proudly claimed the first kiss from her

Upon being in a relationship, she found out more about you still

Like the sharp fangs in your mouth, which she loves to trace and feel dig into her skin

She loves the webs you spin, her fingertips occasionally dragging against the light silk

Sometimes, a fly of hers gets stuck

That, she loves less

And still, you always take care of the little insects, ensuring they won’t be trapped in some of the smaller webs you leave

At times, you quite intentionally web her, your spidery silk-like web trapping her arms above her head, her body fondled by the many limbs you possess….

Alas, we’re trailing off, but of course, your nature, body, and abilities are appreciated in all aspects

The bedroom being one of them, too

Though, Bela loves nothing more than cuddling up together, too

Especially when held in your arms, all of them wrapped tightly around her

It’s perfect to her, and often a blanket or two will be thrown in the mix in winter

Once, you suggested wrapping her up in your webs to keep her warm, which she quickly shut down

You learn, she doesn’t like feeling like prey, dislikes the feeling of being stuck like…well, a fly in a web

Speaking of, insects are strictly off the menu for you

That doesn’t mean she doesn’t encourage you to hunt, though

Often, you spin your webs at the forest surrounding the castle, hoping to bring back a catch that might earn you the favor of her younger sisters and mother

At other times, Bela all but swoons when you trap a particularly delicious maid and deliver her to her as a snack

Still, there is one thing that amuses you to no end…

She loved you, wholeheartedly. And she loved your arachnoid nature, too. She loves every bit of you

So you can’t explain to yourself why your partner is so terribly scared of spiders

The small critters truly do a number on her, prompting screams and shrill squeals, shivers and so on

Always, you ensure there are no spiders in the castle. No webs but your own

…Your lovely girlfriend and her sisters, suffering from arachnophobia

The thought always makes you giggle

Cassandra

Looking back, you can hardly believe your luck

Not only did you survive Mother Miranda’s experimenting, the depths of the village, the infamous basement of castle Dimitrescu and its residents, but also wooed one of them

Having Cassandra sleeping soundly on top of you, your limbs wrapped around her, you allow yourself to think of how you first met

Her eyes, a dark golden light in the dark, piercing you the very same day you were sent to the castle basements

And it seems, you awakened curiosity within the sadist

Of course, a being like you would

Something so rare, someone so unique

While you were originally made to be her newest plaything, a failed experiment handed over, Cassandra had no interest in killing you

Not that this stopped her light torture

Though, looking back, you can’t help but giggle. Even then she showed you affection in her twisted ways

Like when she’d stroke a dagger along your limbs, the touch strong and grounding, her breath fast

She has always been so very curious about you

Your eyes are her favorite part of you

She loves how unsettling they look

Sometimes, she whines; she wants to pluck them from you so very badly, to hold and kiss, to preserve and carry with her always

You have learned to understand and love her twisted affection, her rough words and the gentle, almost romantic meaning behind them

While you could easily get lost in her dark golden eyes, the same goes for her and your eyes

Sometimes, she likes to just stare at them when you cuddle, her eyes desperately trying to meet all of yours

It’s an admittedly adorable sight

And even during your first introduction, when she had grabbed your face harshly, she easily got lost in your eyes

While originally chained to the moldy wall of the basement, you’re upgraded fast

You become her obsession, her pet, her favorite horror in the castle

An honor, really

You know when she calls you her horror, it’s the most romantic thing she can express with words

She loves every part of you, too

Early on already she experiments with you, your cooperative nature catching her slightly by surprise

As such, when she lifted and prodded, cut and sniffed and what not, you always took it as an opportunity to talk to her

Early on, you find out more and more of Cassandra

Later, you learn she often rambles mindlessly when utterly absorbed in her experiments, games, and torture

As such, early on already, you listened as she rambled about her sisters and her hunts

Your presence was always a refreshing one, really

Cassandra is bold

As such, when she noticed just that, and how much she had grown to care for “her experiment”, you were moved from the basement

Quickly, your relationship turned from one of a captive and their tormentor to desire

She clearly desired you, her breaths ragged around you, her heart beating fast, her lip bit, her hands touching up on your limbs eagerly

And you had no reason to hide your attraction, in turn

To this day, you like experimenting with her

In a way, it’s allowing her to get to know you more

Often, her experiments mean working out new techniques to spin webs

At other times, she wants to see how precisely you can control the limbs stemming from your back

With a nice routine of spending nearly every day together, it’s no surprise when you eventually made a move on her

One Cassandra eagerly accepted and returned

She isn’t one for terms, and has never been. You’ve never been her prisoner. Never her friend. Never her partner

Always, you are what she feels

You’re her love, her passion, her horror, her excitement, her desire, her sadism

Due to this, there has hardly been a change after you’ve asked her to be your girlfriend. To her, you’ve always been what you are to her

You’re her partner, despite how she doesn’t like naming what you have

Her favorite couple activity is spending quality time together

She loves to hunt together

Her favorite game?

To chase prey into your web

She laughs loudly when it happens, her pupils wide, her hands twitching

If you ate humans and raw meat as she does, she would grant you the first bite, sometimes

As such, she likes to watch you wrap her prey up and carry it home for her

Her second favorite activity is to experiment with you, and do art together

She likes it particularly much when you spin a web and allow her to direct you, the silky threads assuming a shape to her liking

As it comes to experimenting, she finds it particularly fun when the two of you get to chat, one of your limbs holding onto her or handing her tools

The others are usually made to hold down whatever poor soul has caught her eye and is now to die

But really, her bright smile and manic crackle of laughter seems to make all your remaining morals drip away

Other things she loves is to use your webs to create obstacles when she trains

She knows she can’t achieve Daniela’s speed and precision as it comes to flying and the swarm, but likes to practice either way

And you like to help her by putting webs in her way

Only sometimes does she get stuck, growling and grumbling to you and herself when she’s…well…a fly in the spider’s web

Oddly enough, this doesn’t bother her, yet when even the smallest little spider is near her, she freaks out

Usually, that means you get to flick it away, hunting it down and only granted a rest when you present your love with the creature’s body as proof of its passing

You shake your head, smiling fondly at this, before returning to stroking your long fingers through dark hair. Less thick, more combed and cleaner looking, yet nearly matching yours in color

She hums in her sleep. You know, she will awaken soon, ready to hunt or plead with you to please play with the maids with her

It’s so very fun to see them stumble and cry in the webs, she insists

Daniela

To say Daniela was intrigued by you at first sight would be a vast understatement

Obsessed, more like it

Having been dragged to a lord’s meeting after countless experiments done by Mother Miranda, it’s the first and ideal opportunity to meet everyone

Including the stunning woman by the tall lady’s side

Lady Dimitrescu and her daughters, you learn

Daniela’s eyes are on you the instant you’re revealed to the lords

Gold with specks of green, piercing and curious, obsessed and eager

They flicker across you, your face and body, until they move back and flicker across your face, seemingly searching for eye contact

Eye contact, which proves difficult with the many sets of eyes you have

Oh, but she immediately gets lost in them

You flinch in surprise when she moves, fast, uncaring of the audience the two of you have

She’s pushed against you in an instant, her hands cupping your cheeks

Her skin is nearly as cold as yours, her palms cool as ice

She studies your eyes intensely

While she finds specks of red and purple, you find light shades of green hidden within the pools of gold of her eyes

Both of you immediately seem to fall in love with the sights presented to you

While you’re introduced as nothing but a failed experiment, Daniela immediately sees more in you

She begs, out loud as though she has no shame-

and maybe she doesn’t

- and she pleads:

“Mother, I must have them, please!”

And, you learn early on, Alcina Dimitrescu seems incapable of denying her youngest any wish she has

And in turn, it seems Mother Miranda has difficulty denying Alcina

As such, you’re handed over promptly, officially made Daniela’s property

She’d scoff at the title. You’re hers, though

You’ll be her best friend! Her love! Her soulmate!

She’s not wrong, at the end

For the first time in your life maybe, you feel free, even as you officially “belong to her”

You receive your own wing, even, though it’s near her own

You’re a little surprised at this, though now know that you’re given the entire wing by Alcina Dimitrescu to ensure no intruders would past the deadly webs and manage to find the precious youngest daughter

You’re quite proud of that, too

You like knowing you’re what stands between Daniela and any potentially dangerous intruders

You like knowing your webs will catch them should they sneak where they shouldn’t be

The only things she asks for are honesty, affection, genuine interest and respect

Things you’re eager to give her

In return, you receive time and space, love and affection, honesty and eagerness, care and happiness

While the two of you seem to start out as friends, more builds up between you fast

Daniela, bold as she is, is the first to initiate things, to steal looks and kisses, lingering touches and more

You eagerly give in, and the two of you become impossibly close

As such, you often sleep with her curled in your arms, your arms and legs wrapped around her, your limbs keeping her pressed close to you

She loves cuddling, loves holding your hands while your other limbs are wrapped around her

At other times, she likes to fight for fun with you

It’s a game to her, to evade your webs and limbs, to tackle them only to be smacked away by one of the long, strong limbs stemming from your back

Sometimes- usually- she wins

At other times, she ends up webbed by you, giggling when you make use of the opportunity to place small kisses all over her face

When she hunts on her own, she often takes you with her

She likes to race you, seemingly ignoring that your strength is not your speed, but the tactics and strategic placement of your webs

In the end, she likes to compare who captured the most prey

Often, it’s you, due to the many small animals getting lost in the webs

Though, she usually claims the larger and faster victims

Afterwards, she likes to indulge in snacks with you, often stroking along one of your limbs absently

When you’re spinning your webs, she likes to stay close and watch, occasionally freaking out when bits of her get stuck

She’s whining and snarling then, unable to free herself until you cut the webs loose and tug them from her

Despite liking your webs and being in your arms, Daniela doesn’t enjoy the feeling of being stuck in your webs

Too often has she lost herself as a fly in some spider’s web…

#cassandra dimitrescu #bela dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #🐾🧃 jungle juice anon

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meneatyoghurt · 4 days ago

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I usually try not to lean too much into the whole "Luke's so short and young-looking" (not never, just not all the time...)

But he never looks younger than when he's wearing shorts. He's like a little boy whose lesbian mums have dressed him up like a royal heir. He's like a little 1950s child on his first trip to the seaside. He's like a little Victorian ghost child haunting the old playroom.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

(I'm sorry, Luke. For the record, I don't think you're really short. And as someone who just today was told I had a babyface while being IDed and is basically the same age as you, I am one of your people.)

#shoot from the hip #if the first one sounds very specific it's because of a couple of youtube videos i recently watched

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ominous-feychild · 6 months ago

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✦ MY WRITEBLR INTRODUCTION ✦

Hey! I've been here for a while and I've somehow amassed a shocking amount of followers and mutuals, so I figured it's finally time for me to force one of these out for you guys!

(And you know... a masterpost... when I get around to it. 😅😭)

About me:

✦ Barlowe (she/her)

✦ In my early 20s

✦ A writer of 10 years ✦ working on novels for 6 of 10!

✦ Less dedicated to—but still interested in!—drawing, animation, photography, and cinematography

✦ AuDHD and a grey lesbian (aka I'm leaning asexual) ✦ (my writing may or may not be a special interest)

✦ I have a whole bunch of other neurodivergencies besides AuDHD but I don't think y'all want me to get into all of them, haha. ✦ oh, and I say "haha" a lot. I apologize in advance.

✦ I think I'm hilarious and make jokes constantly

✦ I use a lot of emojis and tone tags to help convey tone. Please forgive me if it's annoying, it's to cope with my inability to communicate. /lh /hj

Masterlists:

✦ General ✦ Worldbuilding ✦ Sun and Shadow ✦ The Arcane Rifts ✦ Rising From the Ashes

(will be added eventually)

My Obsessions:

✦ Fantasy, horror, mystery, action, and exploration of realistic characters' reactions to the things they go through.

✦ Fairy tales, mythology, and folklore

✦ "Ye Olde History" and language

✦ DIVERSITY!!!

✦ Explorations of "evil-coded" characters and abilities--aka, not just showing them as evil. Show them as people (for characters) and tools (for abilities)!

✦ Traumatizing my characters just like I've been

✦ Traumatizing my characters in ways I haven't been!

✦ Learning!!!

✦ Talking way too much about the things I like to the point that I need to make a whole separate post to share it so it doesn't clutter my intro post... oh, hey, why is this linked?

✦ THE AESTHETIC!!!!

My Aesthetics:

Those who've been following me for a bit probably know that I adore "the aesthetic" and try to make my posts look nice... even if there's no real reason to besides that it gives me a little serotonin. Here's my favorite aesthetics!

✦ Starry; night sky ✦ Dawn / dusk ✦ Sunrise / sunset

✦ Nature! ✦ Forestry ✦ Cottagecore ✦ Rustic ✦ Ocean

✦ Literally all of them, please and thank you

My Writing:

✎ Sun and Shadow

Everything goes wrong for Freya Ula when she leaves her simple life as a fisherwoman to get engaged overseas. Her ship gets wrecked, she finds out her dad's been hiding secrets from her for her whole life, and, oh, she gets framed for a terrorist attack. Wait, WHAT!? After the city's greatest detective is attacked and disappears before she could consult with him, Frey has to enlist the help of his kid and her would-be fiancée to find out who framed her and clear her name. If only Crow was half as good a detective their dad was supposed to be.

Main characters: Freya, Crow, Daleira

✦ Urban-esque high fantasy ✦ purposely very tropey in places ✦ however, as always, I love throwing in curveballs. Wonder what's played straight and what I'm going to emotionally destroy you with. Definitely won't be Crow.

✦ Slow-burn romance between Frey and Crow ✦ immediate interest between Frey / Daleira ✦ oh, look, it's a love triangle? ✦ JOKE'S ON YOU, IT'LL ACTUALLY BE POLY ✦ it's just... going to take a while.

✦ Lesbians, lesbians everywhere ✦ though Crow is actually genderfluid and uses they/them for the first book ✦ despite barely having anything written I've already plotted a bit of book 2 ✦ I desperately need help.

✦ Unsurprisingly is a detective mystery with action mixed in ✦ I'm not typically a romance writer, I excel in action fantasy ✦ please have mercy on my soul

✦ Lots of magic, it's high fantasy + victorian aesthetic ✦ (aka "gaslamp fantasy" if you've heard of it) ✦ Frey's got sun-themed magic ✦ gasp, I know ✦ Crow's got shadow magic ✦ wonder why this sounds familiar ✦ Daleira's got, hm, well it's also shadowy! ✦ spoilers 😘

✦ About to be updated en-masse for a writing contest!!!

✎ The Arcane Rifts

Ghosts of past tragedies haunt the town of Kavo after decades of neglect. Fantastical creatures desiring nothing but fear and destruction hide in invisible tears in reality. Gangs and the police are at constant war with one another, there's a shapeshifting monster running amok, and the mayor's assistant suddenly wants a disabled orphan kicked to the streets. A year ago, Gene was discovered in the forest on the outskirts of town, half dead, amnesiac, and unable to even speak the local language. As he had nowhere to go, he was brought to the orphanage of Kavo for a place to stay. Now Caspar, the assistant of the mayor and the man who funds the orphanage, wants him kicked out. When Gene's left to the cold, cruel streets of Kavo on his own, he has to navigate through a town ravaged by decades of neglect and intrigue. Has the corruption truly been purged from the government? Why are godly forces active in Kavo, a small town in a backwater country? And most importantly--will Gene survive?

Main Characters: Gene, Tazin, Mislav, Ludmila, Rada ❧ Gene and Tazin for book 1 ❧ the other 3 start being MCs books 2 and 3 ❧ I guess Nikolai is also a MC tho

❧ Industrial-era rustic high fantasy ❧ mixes fantasy, action, horror, and mystery! ❧ oh helloooooo "ominous feychild" origin? ❧ very strong folkloric and traditional fantasy inspo ❧ except I mean "traditional fantasy" as in ❧ "we don't understand this magic stuff but we're used to it" ❧ not "travel the world adventures!"

❧ VERY involved story with strong themes of discrimination, poverty, exploitation, trauma, and the recovery from trauma ❧ each main and secondary character is one flavor of discriminated against or another in-universe ❧ obviously I try to write it respectfully, but you can't really write bigots being bigots "respectfully"

❧ Has two "main plots" going on simultaneously; technically three ❧ I periodically give the reader updated "character guides" ❧ like they get more recent plot info added kinda like a red-string board to keep you, the audience, up-to-date with info you might've otherwise missed ❧ I think it's really cool and people seem to enjoy it ❧ I know it seems like a lot but please give it a chance

❧ I've literally plotted out pretty much the entirety of the first and second books, and know most of how book 3 will go, yet there's very little out for the current version of the story ❧ part of that is because I'm paused on the 3rd draft

❧ There's lots of timeskips throughout the first two books, but they're mostly to age up the protagonists! Gene, the MC, starts the series at 7. I promise it's not a kid's story though.

❧ The "secondary MC", Nikolai, is the police chief investigating magical stuff going on at the same time. They tie in with the main story involving Gene, though won't appear to for a long while.

❧ The "golden child" series I love more than SaS; however it's on hiatus because I promised people to work on SaS first and SaS is more popular as a romance-focused story. :/ ❧ I would never be salty about that.

Taglist:

For everything: @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet @illarian-rambling @ashirisu @urnumber1star

@the-letterbox-archives @48lexr @aalinaaaaaa @thecomfywriter @an-indecisive-nerd

@seastarblue @rae-butter

For Worldbuilding: @paeliae-occasionally @pluppsauthor @thelovelymachinery

For the Existentials: N/A

For the Avatars: @thelovelymachinery

For Sun and Shadow: @mysticstarlightduck @paeliae-occasionally

For the Arcane Rifts: @paeliae-occasionally

For Rising From the Ashes: N/A

For the Storm Avatars: N/A

For the Order Avatars: @thelovelymachinery

For the Magic Avatars: N/A

For the Fire Avatars: N/A

For the Water Avatars: N/A

To be tagged in tag games: @honeybewrites @aalinaaaaaa

Ask and ye shall be added

Divider by @cafekitsune

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canmom · 2 months ago

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finished Carmilla. what a wonderfully silly novel that was. I need to download an ebook to count how many times Le Fanu uses the word 'languid'.

that said, reading with modern eyes, I think it's a bit of a victim of many subsequent novels elaborating on vampires, and some of the conventions of Victorian literature - in particular, the rule that the narrator has to survive in order to recount the tale, and the evil must be overthrown and tied up neatly. worse, Laura ends up an entirely passive character, with the final resolution seeing Carmilla killed by a couple of side characters, one of whom hasn't even been mentioned up to that point.

the novel is at its best when Carmilla and Laura are interacting. I would have liked to see Laura return Carmilla's affections a bit more, rather than just being like 'well that was weird' every time Carmilla lezzes it up or says something hilariously morbid. but there is definitely humour in her being very literally the straight girl.

I've seen subsequent adaptations of Carmilla, notably my friend Maki @mxmy's Dr Carmilla character, who's - at least in what is released so far - a space vampire with a habit of picking up waifs and strays and turning them into immortal pirates, something which tends to end badly for everyone. the other is (if anyone still remembers) the 2014 Carmilla web series on youtube, which is set in a college dormitory in the States, and presents Carmilla in a more positive light. in the end, I was a little surprised to find both these works take little other than the premise of 'lesbian vampire called Carmilla' and her relationship with a girl called Laura or Lorelei. the web series pulls in a few other names from the novel but completely reframes the situation, adding a new male vampire who is exploiting Carmilla to act as a villain (it was 2010s pop-feminism, you know how it goes). Dr Carmilla currently only vaguely hints at the relationship between Carmilla and Lorelei in the released songs, but involves a new apocalyptic scenario (I think that's about all I can say) - but it does at least keep Carmilla as an itinerant traveller, and keeps the tragic air of the story.

it is not entirely made clear in the novel if the waking Carmilla is aware of her vampiric excursions. it's easy to suppose while reading it that she's just a good liar who's taking them all for a ride, and I think that's still the best supported interpretation, but I think there's equally a reading where she's unaware of the whole vampire thing, and genuinely likes this daft straight girl Laura and before her, the general's daughter. if she is aware, she's really bad at covering her tracks, particularly with her disappearing act. the whole anagram schtick is explicitly named as a rule she has to operate under, but there's plenty she does to tip off her victims and their families. perhaps the point is that she's just charismatic enough to get away with it.

the character of carmilla's mother is a thread that never quite seems to get resolved. the natural assumption is that she's another vampire, dropping her daughter off in a new feeding ground - but since the ending acts like Carmilla was the only surviving vampire, I wonder if perhaps she should be taken as an illusion conjured by Carmilla, perhaps the reason she has to be sent away on a mysterious carriage ride as soon as possible in each instance?

the vampire is traditionally taken to be in part a symbol of the feudal past of cruel aristos persisting and corrupting the rational present, something that makes plenty of sense for Dracula, but in Carmilla's case, nearly every character is a castle-dwelling aristocrat of some sort, and the peasants and servants are treated as mostly beneath notice by the narrative and characters (one scene that stands out has Carmilla, feeling insulted by a trinket seller, idly talk about how in her day she'd have called for his bloody execution - a comment that seems to bother Laura very little). the main characters are even related to Carmilla's family. perhaps just a case of early iterations of an idea, not yet fully formed.

one thing I do like about Carmilla is the amount of physical affection - Carmilla is constantly touching and kissing Laura, and while Le Fanu probably didn't mean this the way we would today, it provides for strong images of sickly Carmilla draping herself all over her new object of affections, like she's acquired a new favourite doll. I can see why this is widely understood as a lesbian novel even though it's very Victorian; it's kinda dark yuri, like Carmilla is coming into the lives of these lonely girls and kind of lovebombing them with expressions of affection and devotion, and whomst among us... it would take many more decades of horny writers to really get into the eroticism of vampiric blood drinking itself though, which here largely takes place in a deniable way, while Laura is sleeping.

despite the reputation for Victorian novels to be long and rambling, this was a rather brisk book. I honestly wish it was a bit longer - a very obvious addition would be a chance for Laura to talk to Carmilla once she's finally figured out the vampire thing, instead of rushing to the ending. it seemed Le Fanu was more interested in explaining vampires (fucked up amirite), which makes sense for the time, but nowadays we all know what the deal is with vampires and instead the core relationship is the interesting part. ah well! it's worth the time to read.

#fiction #novels #carmilla #sheridan le fanu

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lizzieisright · 1 year ago

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At least I got you in my head (smutty bonus)

prologue (8) end

Can you read it on it's own? Yes!

Summary: In the beginning of your relationship you ask Abby to go slow for her own sake, because you don't want to overwhelm her with gayness. Abby, on the other hand, is so sexually frustrated she can't think about anything except sex.

Tags: first time with a woman (Abby), communication (they can't shut the fuck up! i love it for them), top!Abby, oral, fingering, Abby turns into a victorian man once again.

Taglist: @abbyily @lillysbigwilly @gravygranules @blairfox04 @frogtits1 @ccinnamongrl @ninazenuk @urmomsgirlfriend1 @sunkissedbibi @couchgarbage @nil-eena @inlovewithelliewilliams @st4rluvrr @mai5mai @machetegirl109 @azelmawrites @rhae-blackqueen @vea-vea-vea @mnim58e @chubeline @strgrlxox @chrry1ovr @littletinyladybugs @shaemonyou @luvrmunson @saffronssapphic @zootedhoe @2012wannabe @elcantsleep (don't know if you guys would want to be tagged in this, sorry if not!)

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Abby was in fucking heaven. Being out and dating someone as gorgeous and smart as you? Being able to come back home to you? What could be better than that?

You were so attentive and understanding, caring, Abby even felt a little awkward, not really used to a partner who cares. You two talked a lot about being gay and how it changed both of you and how it was still changing Abby.

The first thing Abby enjoyed about being a lesbian was: she got to be dominant. With men she didn't really have an outlet for her natural dominance because well, gender roles and even if boys were okay with her being more assertive, they still expected her to be more of a seductress than what she had in mind. With you Abby got to enjoy initiating things the way she wanted to, grabbing you and kissing you, pressing you against all surfaces in the apartment - her favourite was picking you up and putting you on a kitchen counter where she could grope your thighs all she wanted - and you enjoyed it too. You told her so many times how much you loved her strength and Abby felt drunk on it, having someone to see it as something attractive instead of an obstacle.

"I'm scared to hurt you." Abby said, restraining herself from gripping you harder.

"Okay. We can do something with this." You smiled at her, your arms around her neck as you played with her braid. "Squeeze my thigh and I'll tell you if it hurts."

Abby squeezed carefully, not really using her strength, scared.

"Harder." Abby squeezed harder. "More." Now Abby felt like she was getting closer to what she wanted to do, but she was still anxious.

"Does it hurt?"

"Not yet. More."

Abby squeezed like she wanted the whole time, fighting her anxiety - you wouldn't lie to her, right?

"More."

Abby looked at you, surprised, but squeezed even more harder, digging her fingers into your thighs.

"Yeah that hurts a little, but still okay. Remember this feeling, okay? That's how hard you can go without hurting me. Works for you?"

How did you manage to fix all her worries Abby had no idea, but fuck she was thankful to have her first relationship with someone so understanding and open-minded when she was not sure what she was doing. It felt like fucking puberty all over again.

Abby was super fucking horny. Never in her life did she think about sex so much as she was thinking these days. And you were fucking mean.

(you were level-headed and wanted the best for her)

You told Abby you didn't want to rush things and let her have time to actually settle in her skin and not go head first into things so she wouldn't freak out, and yes, it made perfect fucking sense so Abby agreed to it.

Did she know you would not rush things for a month? No she fucking didn't.

No she fucking didn't.

Every time when Abby'd try to get a little further you wouldn’t let her, and if Abby could understand why two weeks ago, now she was thinking the problem was not that she was too excited, but it was something to do with you.

So the next time when Abby put her hands under your shirt while you were making out in the kitchen and you tried to stop her, Abby decided to confront you about it.

"You know, you told me we don't have to jump straight to sex, but you don't let me touch you at all." Abby said as she stood in front of you, bracketing you with her arms by your sides. "Why do I feel like it's not about me? If you're not ready to have sex for your own reasons that's fine, but-" Abby stopped, trying to find the right words to get her point across. "You can't make it look like this is about me when in reality it's about you."

"I just-" You averted your eyes from her. "I'm really scared. You're so important to me and I don't want to fuck it up. Fuck." You looked up and Abby saw how your eyes watered and it shocked her. Why was it so serious for you?

“Hey, look at me.” Abby took your face into her hands and made you look at her. You were on a brink of tears and Abby got worried. “What are you afraid of?”

You took a deep breath to calm down, irrationally nervous - you felt like an idiot. You knew objectively you were one, but annoying thoughts that consumed you in the past days sounded like a pretty plausible theory. Though now, when Abby cornered you and voiced her concerns you wanted to slam yourself in the face - you were an idiot. You knew exactly how to do it right, but instead you got delusional.

“I’m sorry. I was scared that once we have sex you’d be like ‘nope, this is weird, I’m actually straight’, but now when I hear myself say it I understand how stupid I sound.”

Abby looked at you, frowning.

“Yes, you do.” Abby said seriously. “You should’ve told me instead of deciding for me.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry.” You said honestly, looking at Abby and not shying away from her anger. She had every right to be angry with you. “I won’t push you away anymore.”

“No, listen, this is not the issue here.” Abby said impatiently and moved away to sit on the chair while you were still sitting on the kitchen counter. “It’s the fact that you don’t tell me what’s going on in your head. If you’re nervous and want to wait just say it, don’t cover it up with my lack of experience. Because not only is it condescending, but also makes it seem like you don’t trust me to decide what I want.” You heard the hurt and annoyance in Abby’s voice and it propelled your guilt into another level.

“You’re right. I got too insecure and it fucked me up. I’m sorry.” You looked at her again, trying to read her emotions.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Abby said under her nose. She was annoyed, but she couldn’t help but understand you. “I can’t believe someone as smart as you are can be so stupid.”

“I become very stupid when it comes to you.” You chuckled. It was true - all your confidence and rationality went out of the window when Abby was concerned.

“Yeah. Should’ve expected that.” Abby chuckled in return, softened by the fact that you liked her so much it turned you into an idiot. “Come here.”

You went over to Abby and she hugged you around your waist, poking your stomach with her nose.

“Next time be honest. Because I know I wanna fuck you.”

You swallowed as arousal washed over you. Your grip in her hair tightened and Abby looked up, smirking.

“You liked it, didn’t you?”

“You really want to?” You asked, ignoring her question, still worried that Abby didn’t know what she was signing up for.

“Yeah. I really want to.” Abby squeezed your butt and you yelped, surprised. “Do you?”

“We should build up our way here. Start with something.. small and safe.”

“You and your fucking worrying, I swear to god. You think I don’t know what naked girls look like?”

“But what about-”

Abby narrowed her eyes at you and you shut up.

“Be honest.” Abby ordered and your knees grew weak.

“Promise me to stop if you start to freak out.”

“Promise me to get out of your head. Otherwise I am going to freak out.”

“Okay.”

“Good.” Abby stood up and tugged you in the direction of her bedroom, surprising you.

“What, you want to have sex now?”

“I’ve been waiting for a month, I’m not waiting any longer.”

You smiled and followed Abby to her bedroom - you noticed how impatient she was by how fast she was walking and how hard she was squeezing your hand, and once you entered the room, she spun around and pressed you into the door, kissing you. Abby wasn’t wasting time, immediately tugging your shirt off, fully knowing you didn’t have a bra on. So the moment your shirt hit the floor, Abby moved away a little just to look at you.

It was suddenly hard for her to breathe and her mouth literally watered as she stared at your tits, mesmerised. Abby wanted to put her mouth everywhere on your skin, so she pressed you back into the door, kissing you roughly as she caressed your sides before cupping your tits and groaning into your mouth: your tits were so fucking soft. You throbbed at the sound and arched into Abby to get closer while you carefully tugged on her shirt and she moved away again to impatiently pull her shirt off and throw it somewhere. Abby still had her sports bra on and you let her decide if she wanted it off, which she apparently didn’t.

“Bed.” Abby ordered in a low husky voice and you got wet just from this intonation.

“Tell me what you want.” You told her and walked her to the bed until she fell on it and you straddled her.

“Holy shit.” Abby looked at you, naked on top of her and she just couldn’t stop fucking staring, her dominance crumbling as she started to feel like a virgin, nervous and so fucking horny she was probably soaked through her sweats.

“Are you freaking out?” You asked, getting worried as Abby just stared at you with wide eyes.

“I- give me a second.” Abby took a few breaths to calm her nerves. Maybe you were right with this let’s not rush thing. “You’re so fucking pretty.” Abby ran her hands up and down your sides, squeezing experimentally. She finally settled on holding your hips, her thumb rubbing over your hip bones. “What-” Abby swallowed, her throat dry from arousal. “How do I make you feel good?”

“That’s what you want?”

“Yeah.”

“Have you thought about it before?” You leaned down and kissed Abby’s neck, making her sigh and tighten the grip on your hips as you licked her skin.

“A million fucking times, god.” Abby ran her hands up and rubbed your back. She could feel your nipples on her abs and it sent shivers down her spine.

“Let’s start with this. Do what you want to do in your thoughts.”

Abby gripped your waist and rolled you on your back, pressing you down into the mattress and you closed your eyes in pleasure - you remembered wondering how it would feel, having Abby between your legs, her weight pressing you down, and now you could say it was absolutely delicious. And Abby watched you, seeing how much you were enjoying it.

“Do you- do you prefer to bottom?” Abby asked carefully, not sure if it was okay to ask. She sure as shit didn’t enjoy being pressed into the bed, always wanting to fight back, but you were different.

“I like both. Or are you talking about control?”

“What’s the difference?” Abby asked, a little more calmed down now. In her head it was simple: the one on top was in control.

“You can top and I’ll still tell you what to do and control you. Or you can top and control me, I’ll just lie there and take it.” That sounded fun. The second part of it, at least: having you, confident and collected at all times, under Abby's control - that was a power trip she never knew she needed before.

“Do you have a preference there?”

“Not really. I just go with the flow.”

Abby hummed and kissed you, pressing you into the bed harder so she could feel you under her, how your thighs stretched to make space for her. You arched into Abby and bucked your hips in a desperate need of friction and Abby froze.

That was hot.

"You okay?"

"Do that again."

You bucked your hips again with more purpose now and Abby pressed her forehead to yours, panting, before grinding down on you just in time. You gasped, desperate - you wanted Abby to touch you so fucking bad.

"Fuck, this is so hot. Holy shit." Abby murmured. She watched your face, contorted in pleasure as you shamelessly grinded on her.

"You know, we can get off just like this." You panted, trying to keep your noises down because being loud from some humping that wasn't even good enough was embarrassing. You weren't fifteen. "Just move your thigh between mine and-"

"No." Abby stopped you. "I want to fucking bury my face between your legs and I will."

"Fuck." You whimpered, painfully turned on. Abby and her fucking honesty. "You sure?"

"How do I make you feel so good you won't be able to ask your stupid questions?" Abby chuckled and suddenly got brave. She moved her hand between your bodies and cautiously placed it over your pubic, not quite there yet, but enough to taste the waters.

You bucked your hips into her hand, so fucking desperate it was ridiculous, no one made you feel this way before - Abby hasn't even done anything yet except kissing and here you were, soaked and greedy.

"You want me to touch you?"

Was it dirty talk or was Abby serious?

"If- if you want to. I'd like it very much." You managed to say with a grin and Abby rolled her eyes.

"That was too polite." Abby laughed, slowly moving her hand down over your clothed cunt. "Save it for Caitlyn."

Abby was nervous, not sure what would be her reaction to touching you like this, even through the sweats you had on - she knew how it felt to touch herself, but touching another woman was still different. She knew she'd probably like it - otherwise she'd not have dreamed about it for so long, but it was still kinda scary.

But Abby's wasn't a coward, so she cupped your pussy slowly and barely held on her groan - you were hot and soft and wet, wet through your fucking pants - and it was a lot to take in, but Abby liked it way more than she expected. And the way you tensed under her, your eyes tightly shut - nothing in her life was hotter than this.

"Good?"

"Fuck, yes. If you make me cum in my pants I swear to god- ah!" Abby pressed slow circles to where she thought your clit might be and it worked.

"So that's how you finally shut up." Abby laughed and you kicked her shoulder playfully. "What?"

You opened your mouth to say something again, but Abby leaned down and caught your nipple into her mouth and you twitched and sighed.

"Fuck, yeah. I like it." You put your hand on Abby's hair and let her play with your tits as long as she wanted.

Okay, tits were fun, Abby decided, licking and sucking on your nipple while she squeezed the other tit with her free hand. You were making these pretty noises under her and Abby was losing her mind, so turned on it was unbelievable. Your pants were getting wetter and wetter as Abby drew circles on your clit and Abby wanted to feel it. She wanted to feel how wet she got you. Abby let your nipple out with a pop and looked at you.

"Can I take your pants off?" You opened your mouth and she knew what you were going to say, so she sped up, making you whimper instead. "Nuh-uh. No stupid questions. Can I take your pants off?"

"What the fuck?" You asked yourself as you laughed quietly, breathing hard. "Why do I feel like it's my first time with a girl and not yours? Yeah, take them off."

Abby sat back and tugged them off, taking underwear with them too - she wasn't going to waste her time on a tiny piece of clothing to, what did you say? Build up to it? No, she wasn't a pussy.

"Because you're worrying too much." Abby said as she helped untangle your pants off your ankles. "Fuck, you have such pretty ankles." Abby drew circles on delicate skin there, the thought that she could connect her fingers around them made her fucking black out from arousal.

"Thanks." You grinned, but you got nervous: Abby's hands felt like restraints and you weren't a fan of it. But Abby moved her hands up your calves, your knees and stopped at your thighs.

Abby was at her ultimate goal: you were naked under her and all she needed to do is to spread your thighs and put her mouth on you. But there was a problem.

Abby actually had no idea how to eat a girl out. Ellie's stories didn't cover that part.

You noticed Abby's hesitance and reached out to her hand, interlocking your fingers.

"What's up?"

"I uh." Abby swallowed as she looked you over, naked and pretty and looking at her with such tenderness and understanding Abby wanted to burst. "I don't know how to- How do I eat you out?"

"Oh." You sighed, surprised. You were expecting Abby to tap out, but her innocent question, her trust to be vulnerable and admit she didn't know what to do made your heart swell. "Okay. I can give you directions if you want. Or I can show you on you."

Abby tensed - the idea of you going down on her wasn't something she was ready for yet.

"Instructions would be nice."

"Okay."

You slowly spread your legs and bent them so Abby'd have a better view - you weren't sure she'd want that, but you trusted her - and Abby stared at your cunt with such intensity your face heated up. Abby was looking at everything, at your pussy lips, at your clit, at your wet hole that was glistening, and her mouth watered. Yeah, she didn't know what to do but fuck she wanted to taste you.

"Holy shit." Abby greedily squeezed your thighs and got closer, not taking her eyes from your cunt. "Am I in fucking heaven?"

You laughed.

"You really want to do this, huh?"

"So how do I make you shut up again?" Abby said playfully.

"Do you want me to guide you or do you want some tips and do what you want to do?"

Guidance was nice, but also Abby wanted to just focus on you and not hear a coherent word from you, so.

"Tips."

"Give me your hand."

Abby did as you told her and you put your mouth on her forearm, rubbing your flat tongue up and down to give her an example. Abby's eyes went dark as she watched you and she squeezed your thigh harder.

"Keep your tongue flat and soft and you're good. Your jaw will hurt, so take a break when you need one."

Abby took a breath to calm herself a little, because her impatience was making her rush and she wanted to savour it.

So Abby leaned down again and kissed you while she slowly moved her hand up your thigh, her fingers shaking a little in anticipation. And the way you spread your legs for her made Abby dizzy - you wanted her to touch you, you were at her mercy an fuck it was getting into her head.

Abby slowly parted your folds the way she did to herself a million times before and you gasped when her fingers brushed over your clit. Abby grunted, trying not to be so embarrassing but feeling your wetness on her fingers was fucking amazing.

"Shit, you're so wet." Abby sighed heavily and slowly moved her hand up and down your cunt, needing to feel how hot and soft you were. She moved her fingers over the curve to your hole experimentally, her fingertips touching just the edges and you bucked your hips, your nails digging into her shoulders. "Are you always this sensitive?"

"I didn't know I could be this sensitive." You huffed, embarrassed. "I guess a month without sex will do that to a person."

"You did it to yourself, idiot." Abby said affectionately and kissed your neck, slowly moving down your body.

"Fair." You sighed loudly as you watched Abby kiss your ribs, then stomach and then she finally moved down.

Abby kissed your hip bone as she rubbed your thighs. She wasn't rushing, giving herself enough time to appreciate what was happening and get used to her senses being attacked with your scent, your warmth, the feel of your skin under her chin - that was new but she liked it so much she stopped restraining herself and literally buried her nose in your pussy, breathing you in, and you yelped as your hands flew to Abby's hair that was so unfortunately braided.

"Fuck, Abby-" You panted. "Give the girl a warning."

But Abby wasn't listening anymore, she was too busy finally putting her mouth on you, exploring: she was curious to feel every part of your pussy under her lips. She kissed your pubic, the crease of your thigh, just above your clit, her chin was already wet and Abby swallowed because there was too much saliva in her mouth.

"How-how do you feel?" You asked her as you breathed heavily: for Abby it was an exploration and for you it was fucking teasing, the way you wanted to just buck your hips into her face was unbearable. But you restrained yourself: this was about Abby and not about you now.

"Like I was meant to be here all my life." Abby chuckled and kissed your pussy lips the same way she kissed your mouth: lips were lips, right?

You clutched the pillow when Abby's bottom lip brushed over your clit and Abby looked up to watch your reaction as she literally made out with your cunt: you were fucking magical. Abby didn't even notice how she used her tongue and licked your clit, your taste exploding in her mouth as you whimpered, just because she was too busy watching you, shifting into horny "do everything to make her feel good" mindset.

And now Abby was on a mission. She didn't waste any time, angling her head and latching onto your clit just as you told her, making her tongue as flat and as soft as she could, given that she never did this before.

"Oh shit." You sighed loudly. "Less pressure, Abby." You told her and Abby eased up - she was getting too excited again and was rushing things.

So Abby took a loud breath through her nose and let herself relax a little, taking a slow, gentle pace as she rubbed your clit on her tongue, her eyes rolling back when she picked up your slick - it wasn't even the taste that drove her crazy, but the viscous texture of it.

"Fuck." You sighed and interlocked your fingers with Abby's on your stomach. "Fuck, you're really enjoying it." You watched Abby's concentrated face as she was eating you out like it was her pleasure and not yours.

Abby made an agreeing noise and it went right to your clit and you hissed.

"You can- you can go faster if you want." And Abby picked up her pace as well your voice picked up volume: it felt so fucking good, Abby was really meant to be between your legs like this. Her pace haltered a lot from inexperience and because her jaw was starting to hurt, but you didn't care - she was still making you feel so good and your orgasm was starting to build up already.

But Abby needed a breather so she moved away and looked at you, frowning, as if she was calculating something.

"How do I make you cum?"

"You know you don't have to. I'm enjoying this as it is already."

"I want to. Can I use my fingers?"

"Yeah, yeah, you can. Start with one, okay?"

That wasn't what Abby was thinking about, but if she'd get to feel you like this, she was jumping this train right away.

Abby sat up in all her muscled glory and looked you over again, panting, naked and pretty and all for her.

"You're so fucking hot."

"Kiss me."

Abby leaned down to you and kissed you sweetly as she parted your folds, now more confident. She went up and down, smearing your slick and her saliva over the whole length of your cunt and then very slowly dipped her finger inside. She sighed into your mouth, surprised at how hot and soft you were inside, her mind reeling because she felt like was experiencing something holy now.

Thankfully Ellie's stories covered this part and Abby curled her finger, looking for- for- what was she supposed to be looking for?

"Fuck." You sighed and Abby watched your face, trying to guess what would feel better as she probed around with her finger. "Right- fuck, right there."

Abby immediately locked the position of her finger, trying to remember what she was feeling to find it later too, because she already knew she wouldn't leave you alone after this. The hunger Abby felt was building up for twenty years in her, and now she had you to feed her.

Abby didn't wait for you to tell her to go faster, picking up the pace enough to make you louder and grip her arm harder.

"You know, I like listening to these noises way more than to your worrying." Abby murmured into your ear and you gasped. "Can I add another one?"

"Yeah- and fuck you." You chuckled and Abby raised her brows.

"You meant fuck you? Because this is what is happening."

"You're so cocky."

"Yeah, maybe."

Abby slowly pulled out her finger and just as slowly pushed two back in - she was gentle, scared to hurt you because you were tight around her.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry."

Abby started slow, basking in the feeling of your cunt around her fingers, the way you were all wet and hot for her, how soft your walls were when she curled her fingers looking for the same spot as before, but it wasn't that easy.

"Fuck, I lost it." Abby whispered to herself and you giggled.

"Don't worry about it, it feels good. I like it." You reached down and corrected Abby's hand position. "Here."

Abby nodded and curled her fingers hard, too eager to please you and you gasped, scaring Abby - did she hurt you with how hard she moved her hand?

"Shit, did I-"

"Do that again."

Oh. Abby smirked and went harder on you, practically holding you by your cunt with how hard she was curling her fingers inside and you felt yourself getting closer and closer with each touch of Abby's fingers. It felt amazing and you knew from experience athlete's hands wouldn't get tired too fast so Abby could easily make you cum like this, so you relaxed and concentrated on each thrust of her fingers as they were getting you closer to your climax, but then Abby stopped.

"Wha-" You asked, confused, but Abby moved back between your thighs and you laughed happily. "Okay, that works too."

"Were you close?"

Oh. Abby didn't notice it - of course she didn't, how many pussies she's been in before to know how it feels - and your face heated up.

"Yeah."

The shit-eating grin on Abby's face was so precious you didn't say anything in return and just interlocked your fingers again. It wasn't super comfortable to get in front of your pussy with no hands, but Abby wasn't going to let you go if her life depended on it. Somehow she managed to lie down while still having her fingers in you and now she had to figure out how to fucking multitask. Abby’s mouth watered as she watched her fingers disappear in you while you whimpered, and she put her mouth back on your clit, doing the same thing as she did before, gently rubbing your clit in a pace that was fast and didn't get her jaw tired too early.

You dug your nails into Abby's knuckles as you felt your orgasm getting closer - at this point if Abby could keep her fingers moving you wouldn't even need her mouth to cum. Your heavy breathing turned into squeaky moans at each time Abby's fingers hit right in time with her tongue and Abby watched you with dark eyes, clearly enjoying the way you were enjoying her.

Abby gently sucked on your clit to move her jaw a little and you jumped, holding onto her hand painfully. Abby got surprised and her pace broke for a moment, but it made her double her efforts, her fingers getting rougher and her tongue not changing the pace.

"Fuck I'm so close-" You sobbed. "Don't change anything." You managed to moan and Abby was more than happy to oblige.

And now Abby felt it, how you got so tight on her fingers it almost hurt and arousal went over her like in a hot wave. Abby closed her eyes, falling into lustful bliss, licking and sucking your clit just for her own satisfaction because it felt amazing, and Abby didn't notice how your thighs started to close around her head, but the new weight on her shoulders made her moan into your pussy and you suddenly got super silent.

Abby looked up, worried, but the moment she looked at your frown she knew you were cumming so she kept her pace and watched you shudder and moan so low it got loud, and then she felt your walls pulsate around her fingers in big waves and Abby blacked out again because she was experiencing God by this point. You clung to her hand, leaving crescent marks on her knuckles and tugged on her hair, but Abby was so out of it, collecting all your juices with her tongue, she didn't care about mild pain.

"Abby-Abby fuck-" You moaned because she wasn't stopping and you were getting too sensitive. "Come on, baby, come here."

Abby opened her eyes and you saw how blown out her pupils were - she was getting pussydrunk and you just laid back hopelessly and let her do what she wanted. Abby slowly took her fingers out and sucked them clean before diving back in and lapping at your hole, pushing her tongue inside and you whimpered, shaking, tugging on her hair.

"Abby, shit-" You sobbed. "Come here."

This time Abby actually listened and crawled on top of you, her chin wet. You held her face in your hands and wiped her chin gently. Abby kissed you, rough enough to press your head into the pillow and you hugged her shoulders, pressing closer to her..

“Was it good?" Abby asked, trying to hide her embarrassment, but you still heard it in her voice.

"What does this look like?" You showed her your trembling arm, still feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm. "It was so fucking good, Abby, it’s ridiculous how good it was.” Abby laughed at your playful offense, relieved she didn’t fuck up. “What do you want me to do for you?"

Abby suddenly tensed - she wasn't sure she was ready for it yet, to be touched like this. She honestly didn't even notice how turned on and pent up she was, too lost in making you feel good, but her clit was pulsing and aching for some relief and Abby wanted to cum, she just didn't know how.

"We don't have to do anything." You reminded Abby when she hesitated to give you an answer. "But if you want to you can use my thigh or my fingers or my mouth, I'm all for it."

Maybe this is where Abby would like to start small and safe, because she knew for sure she wasn't ready for oral yet, thigh thing sounded awkward so she settled on good old fingers.

"Yeah, you can touch me."

You smiled, happy, and gently moved your hand between your bodies, trailing Abby's abs with your fingertips, making her flex her muscles.

"You wanna lie on your back?"

No she didn't. You saw Abby tense and didn't push further, clearly reading she wasn't yet comfortable with being vulnerable like this.

So you slowly pushed your hand into her pants, watching her reaction. Abby closed her eyes and gasped when you brushed over her clit, so you started rubbing it up and down carefully, not knowing how sensitive Abby was.

"Good?"

"Yeah." Abby said in a husky voice and squeezed your side.

You kissed her cheek and sped up just a little and Abby screwed her shut and started breathing heavily, knowing she wouldn't last long, too pent up after a fucking month of cock-blocking and seeing you cum just now.

"You're so wet." You sighed in wonder and sped up again, making Abby tense as she got overwhelmed and so close to the edge it was embarrassing. "I like seeing you like this." You told Abby as you watched her intently, her knitted brows and tense jaw as she tried to not be loud, grunting and squeezing your side painfully.

You circled her clit and Abby shuddered violently, cumming with a strained grunt, her head falling on your shoulder as her hot slick covered your fingers. You eased up on her but didn't stop to prolong her orgasm.

"Stop, stop-stop-stop." Abby panted and you obeyed, just cupping her pussy. "Fuck."

You chuckled and kissed Abby gently, feeling very soft and full of love for her and she relaxed on top of you, still breathing heavily. You slowly took your hand out of her pants and broke the kiss to suck on your fingers and Abby honest to god blushed as she watched you.

“Why would you do that?” Abby laughed, embarrassed, but you were too busy enjoying her taste.

“Why did you do it?” You laughed too and Abby pinched your side. "Was it good for you too?"

"Yeah." Abby nuzzled into your neck. "Can we do it again in like, ten minutes?"

Oh fuck, you thought as you laughed, Abby was going to be a fucking pussy fiend.

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson #abby tlou #abby anderson smut #aligyinmh

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whatwouldsylwrite · 2 years ago

Text

At least I got you in my head (2)

(1)

Summary: Abby is straight. And then you move in with her.

Tags: modern au, fem!reader, straight!abby (she is doing some comphet bullshit), pining, idiot in love and it's abby, reader is gay and tired.

Notes: drinking, swearing, reader is wearing a dress. Cait here is Caitlyn from Arcane. Abby gets to feel what is was like to be a victorian man.

tags: @abbyily @catkirkfan @oatmealzco

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Everyone could appreciate someone’s beauty, right? Right?

That was what Abby was thinking as you two were making your way down the street to the bars where Ellie and Cait were supposed to meet you. Your delicate heels were clicking on the pavement and well. This little strap around your ankles made them look so dainty and it was so aesthetically pleasing Abby didn’t want to look away every time you sped up a little. You were in a short black dress and wow, some girls could really pull off a dress - it was so tight around your body. Abby wouldn’t wear something like this ever, it was so not her style, but when she saw other girls in dresses? She just couldn’t help but admire how beautiful they were. And when the beauty met the intelligence - Abby was full-on fangirling. She always thought it was vain of her to want to be friends with women who were practically goddesses (except Ellie, Ellie was a gremlin even if she was smart), but fuck. Wasn’t it cool to know women who were just smart and beautiful and then boast about knowing them to everyone?

“I’m a little excited to meet Ellie.” You admitted, you eyes a little more bright after you shared some wine at home. “You told me so much about her, she is a legend in my head.”

“Ellie is a menace and a threat to society.” Abby sighed dramatically.

“Exactly. How can you describe her like this to me and not expect me to get insanely curious?” You smirked and almost tripped, but Abby caught you, holding your arm gently. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Just hold on to me.” Abby offered you her arm and you stared at her, surprised, before snaking your arm around her. Abby liked the feeling of protectiveness when her friends relied on her like that. Yeah, she was an MMA fighter, she could protect them against any asshole, and she liked when girls felt safe around her, so she walked you down the street as carefully as possible.

You made your way to the bar, and you let Abby go in the instant when you saw your friend, but there were so many people Abby couldn’t see who exactly was your friend.

“Cait is right there, I’m going to grab her. Do you see Ellie?” Abby looked around and spotted the familiar bun.

“Yeah.”

“Let’s meet here, okay?” You said and walked away, leaving Abby to get Ellie.

Abby made her way through a few people before she got to Ellie and grabbed her shoulder.

“The fuck-” Ellie started, ready to fight, but she relaxed when she saw Abby. “Fuck, Abby, you scared the shit out of me.”

“I really like that you think you can fight.” Abby laughed and Ellie punched her in the shoulder.

“I swear to god I’m gonna beat your ass one day.” Ellie looked around, expecting you to be somewhere close. “I thought (y/n) is with you?”

“Yeah, she went to meet her friend. Let’s go. Don’t be a dick.”

“Dude, I won’t. Is she hot?”

“What is up with you lesbians asking about each other?” Abby scoffed.

“Oh, she asked if I was hot?”

“I said you were so ugly she’d go blind.” Abby said with a small smile and caught Ellie’s hand before it hit her again.

They made their way to the spot when you agreed to meet and Abby saw you with your friend and she just forgot how to speak. The girl was tall - taller than Abby, and it was saying something - but she was so proportionate in her hourglass figure. Abby looked at her, bewitched - she looked like a model. Legs for fucking days, long raven hair, and listen, Abby didn’t have any insecurities about her own body, but this girl’s chest was truly impressive. She was missing something, though - your confidence and ease, the girl looked a little awkward and nervous, but it seemed like your presence was grounding her. God you were so fucking nice.

"Hi!" You said with a smile and motioned at your friend. "This is Caitlyn. This is Abby."

"Nice to meet you." Abby smiled and Caitlyn smiled in return with an adorable gap in her teeth. "This is Ellie."

Something was not entirely right, because when Ellie and you made eye contact you both froze. Abby noticed it even though you recovered quite fast, and something uneasy sat in her stomach.

"I'm (y/n)." You smiled and Ellie smiled back like you both were sharing a secret, and Abby hated how it made her feel like a fool. "Okay ladies. We all need a drink, don't you think?"

You made your way to a free table in the corner of the bar, feeling your hands shake, and you tried to not show it, but you felt both stares at your back: Cait’s, who probably put two and two together, and Abby’s, who probably didn’t. For some reason you felt guilty, even though you didn’t do anything - well, except you slept with your roommate’s best friend. Roommate you were trying so hard not to crush on. Roommate who was straight (you know. usual gay shenanigans). And it happened months ago, way before you met Abby, you had no reason to feel ashamed, but you still did.

So you repressed the feeling to the pits of your consciousness and did what you did best: got a drink and started talking to get everyone to know each other and relax. You were mostly worried about Caitlyn - she wasn’t a big party-goer, and meeting people wasn’t easy for her. Well, thankfully, Abby and Ellie were very enthusiastic and Cait relaxed pretty quickly, letting her beautiful sarcasm make everyone laugh.

“You know we look like we’re on a double date.” Ellie snorted and you laughed, taking the comedy of the situation.

“This is a very fortunate support of stereotypes.” Cait said and you waited for her to say something else, because Cait just would. “Unless it was your attempt at flirting, of course. In this case I’m sure you can do better.”

The look of offense on Ellie’s face was precious. You laughed so hard you slapped Abby on her thigh, and she laughed too, you both wheezing and gasping for air every time you looked at Ellie’s face.

“I can do better.” Ellie said, flustered, and you couldn’t decide if she got defensive or eager to prove Cait wrong.

“I’d certainly like to see it.” Cait leaned on the table and you made a little “ooooh” sound while Abby laughed into your shoulder.

“Yeah, Els, I think Caitlyn is already kicking your ass here.” Abby said and you laughed again. Then Abby leaned in to you so she could whisper in your ear, her hot breath making your baby hairs stand up and your hands tingle. “Look at her, she is so riled up.” You both giggled and looked at Ellie again who was puffing but trying to come up with something to say.

“Oh, you don't know what you signed up for." Ellie said with a triumphant smile, and you got curious. You remembered Ellie as very confident and flirty, but she didn't seem to be like this right now.

"Surprise me." Cait smiled and you barely kept yourself from pinching her cheeks and saying "that's my girl", because you were so proud of her, coming out of her shell and being so forward.

"You know, the weather wasn't good today." Ellie said casually, not looking at Caitlyn. You and Abby watched what she was going to say next like it was a movie.

"I suppose."

"That's because all the blue from the sky is in your eyes." Ellie said in a quiet seductive tone as she looked into Caitlyn's eyes.

All three of you groaned and it looked like it only encouraged Ellie, because she grinned like a maniac.

"And I have more." Ellie threatened.

"She does." Abby whispered again and fuck, why did it feel so fucking intimate? Why did it feel like you were her-

No. You were not going this road. Nope.

"Well, I'm glad you're self-aware. It has some charm to it." Caitlyn smiled and Ellie looked happy from the compliment. "Give me your worst one."

"Oh I'll need a drink for this." You said as you stood up, losing the warmth of Abby's side to go to the bar.

The night went smoothly after. Ellie didn't leave Cait alone after that, saying a pickup line every chance she got, but Cait seemed to like it for the pure feeling of cringe. Eventually they both found out what kind of nerds they were and they had a long discussion about something you couldn't care to get into, because your head was a little fuzzy from alcohol and Abby being close. Her side was pressed to your side and you basked in her warmth. You were a touchy drunk, and even though you controlled yourself and didn't touch people without permission, the feeling of someone else close to you got you longing for human touch.

It was getting closer to 4 am and Abby noticed you getting more quiet and putting more weight on her. Abby leaned down to you, careful not to scare you.

“Are you sleepy?”

“Oh fuck.” You said as if Abby’s words revealed something obvious to you. “I am. I miss my bed.”

“You wanna go home?”Abby said fondly. She drank the same amount as you did, but the difference in metabolism meant she burned through her drinks faster and wasn't as drunk as you were, so she felt her mom friend mode kicking in.

“Yeah.” You nodded and looked at Ellie and Cait who were still talking like 4 hours passed in a second. “Ladies, we’re going to head out.”

“Already?” Ellie asked, surprised.

“I wanna go hug my bed.” You shrugged.

“Text us when you get home, okay?” Abby asked when you both stood up, ready to leave.

Both girls stood up too to hug you and say their goodbyes before you left the bar. Abby was still shocked at how tall Caitlyn was - it was rare for Abby to hug girls who weren’t a head shorter than her. And Cait was a head taller than her, so it was a very strange experience. Ellie and Caitlyn stayed, still talking, and you were glad Cait got along with her - she really needed some other friends and not more rich arrogant idiots Cait had before.

Abby supported you as you made your way back home, your legs a little wobbly, but Abby had to give it to you - you were wearing heels and you were walking just fine, even sleepy and a little drunk. You weren't tipsy, but you weren't wasted either - just in the middle where you still were in your right mind, but your body was starting to give up on your coordination. You held onto Abby's forearm and she just felt so fond of you.

"Do I speak funny?" You asked Abby and she laughed.

"What do you mean?"

"Do I slur?"

"No. You're not that drunk."

Suddenly you snorted and Abby had to stop both of you before you'd fall.

"Fuck, you know that video? When the guy comes home wasted and he is like. I'm not drunk. And then his mother I guess, she is like. Can you tell the time?"

"God, your English accent is awful." Abby wheezed, already being entertained by your little reenactment.

"Fuck you. So this guy is like, …Yes. And then turns to the fucking clocks, points at them and goes. I am NOT. fucking. Drunk." You wheezed again, almost folding in two from laughter, because that video was 10 times funnier when you were drunk. "Have you seen it?"

Abby was laughing too, both at your terrible posh accent and the story.

"No."

"Oh man, wait. Stop. We're gonna watch it."

And now you two were standing at 4:30 in the morning in the middle of the street laughing your asses off at the stupid old video when it replayed again and again. Abby was worried at one point you'd just fall, but you stayed on your feet, even if your heels were not steady on every step, because the straps on your ankles were dangerously loose. (yep, she was still staring, but alcohol made her forget the reason why it was okay for a straight girl to stare at another girl's ankles)

Somehow you made your way home in 10 minutes and Abby made some tea for both of you while you were in the shower - it wouldn’t hurt to get some hydration before sleep. You came to the kitchen, your hair in a bun, your usual sweats plus an oversized t-shirt combo on, but Abby stared, her thought process coming to a screeching halt.

You mixed the t-shirts in the bathroom and put Abby’s t-shirt on. Abby’s mind was literally blank. She didn’t understand what she was feeling, but that feeling was so fucking strong she couldn’t even say a word as her eyes looked you over. Her t-shirt was big on you, shoulders way too low on your arms, and you looked so cosy and homely and cute and pretty-

"What's up?" You asked as you sat down on the chair, noticing Abby's stare.

"You- um. This is my t-shirt." Abby admitted, and her chest was so tight with The Feeling she was afraid her voice went two octaves higher. You looked down and then stared back at her, as surprised as she was.

"Oh god I'm so sorry, I didn't check. I'll go change." You stood up from your place, ready to go, but Abby stopped you.

"I don't mind, you can wear it, it's not a big deal." Abby shrugged. And it wasn't a big deal, it was just one of her many t-shirts, she didn't mind sharing. You were sobering up and probably tired as hell, Abby would prefer not to bother you.

"Really? My t-shirt is probably in the bathroom, I can change in a second."

"Keep it." Abby said and put a cup in front of you, strange feeling of possessiveness making it home in her vocal cords.

"Thanks. I'll wash it, I promise."

You both drank tea in a comfortable silence, watching the sun slowly go up. The city was quiet and empty, the morning wouldn't really start in another hour, and it felt intimate, to experience this empty morning with you.

You washed both of your cups while Abby went to take a shower. After Abby finished showering, she reached for her t-shirt on instinct, but the empty rack reminded her where her t-shirt was. Well, your t-shirt was still there and she needed to get dressed anyway. It would be only fair, right?

Abby took your t-shirt and put it over her head, her nose immediately being attacked with your scent: your spicy perfume, body wash and a slight hint of mint shampoo. You smelled nice, and your scent reminded Abby of the safety of your apartment: that was the first thing she smelled when she'd come home if you were already here. It was nice. Or sometimes you'd be out earlier and she'd smell your perfume in the hallway.

Abby walked to her room and fell on the bed, checking her social media. There were a few stories on Ellie's insta, and the last one was her and Cait drinking coffee and playing chess. Abby had no idea where they found the chess table, but hey, they were having fun. Abby liked when Ellie showed her true side instead of being cool and hot and a fuckboy, which worked amazingly when Ellie wanted to hook up, but sometimes she needed to get her nerd side shine or she'd infodump on a first available person.

There was a knock on the door and Abby looked up, meeting your eyes in the doorway. You looked a little apprehensive but also vulnerable, and Abby couldn't get a read on why you were here.

"Hey, um. Do you wanna cuddle to sleep with me?"

What.

Well what did she mean "what", she didn't need to overthink it! Her new favourite person wanted to cuddle!

Abby opened her arms, silently inviting you, practically buzzing with excitement: you wanted to cuddle with her and Abby was a sucker for cuddles, so of course she'd let you. You walked through her room carefully as if you weren't supposed to be here, but then you just fell on top of her, and wow, (y/n) is so fucking soft.

That was why Abby liked to cuddle with her girl friends: women were soft. And you were soft in her arms right now, letting a long pleased sigh.

"You're very soft." Abby said as she curled her arms around your shoulders.

"That's the boobs." You chuckled. "Yours are very soft too."

"Thanks, I guess?" Abby laughed when you put your head on her left tit.

"As long as you're okay with this." You murmured and went up a little, still finding a right position until you put your nose next to Abby's neck, sending shivers down her spine. She was ticklish, but she could manage. "Really. I don't want to do something you're not comfortable with."

"I'm so comfortable, don't worry. I like cuddles." Abby wasn't sure why you were so persistent in checking if she was okay with being physically close to you, but she thought it was very sweet. "I didn't think you were a cuddler."

"What? I told you before. When we watched that shitty horror movie."

"Oh, I thought you were joking." Abby murmured as she breathed your scent in. You felt so safe to her she was already drifting off.

"I wasn't. I like cuddles."

"That makes two of us."

You sighed again as you wiggled around, slotting yourself more comfortably against Abby and she started mindlessly stroking your back, soothing you into sleep. She was already half-asleep and she needed you to stop moving and just relax so you'd stop waking her up. When you didn't stop, Abby pressed you closer and moved you to what she thought would be more comfortable for both of you. You got quiet suddenly, and Abby sighed, content, falling asleep almost immediately, oblivious of your flustered face.

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson #abby tlou #aligyimh

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thethirdromana · 2 years ago

Text

LGBT+ Victorians

Since it's Pride Month and Dracula Daily is going to be pretty quiet for most of June, I thought it might be good timing for a little 1890s queer history. Plus I wanted to give a bit more fuel to everyone's queer headcanons for Dracula characters!

Popping this under a cut because it's long.

The start of queer identity This is a massive generalisation, but for most of British history, being queer was about action and not about identity. The idea that people who wanted to have gay sex belonged to a specific group that was different to other people didn't exist for the most part, at least not at a societal level. (This was also true - more generalisation - for much of the western world. It was very much not true for large swathes of the rest of the world who thought about this in entirely different and varied ways).

By the second half of the 19th century, that was starting to change. People like Karl Heinrich Ulrichs in Germany (on the left), and John Addington Symonds (middle) and Edward Carpenter (right) in the UK started to think of themselves as homosexuals - Ulrichs coined the term "Urning" which became "Uranian" in English. This period marked the beginning of organised campaigning for LGBT rights in the UK, though specific campaigning for lesbian and trans rights came later.

This means that in the 1890s setting of Dracula, any characters might think of themselves as "Uranian" or "Sapphic", or they might not yet have picked up that way of thinking. At a guess I'd expect Seward or van Helsing to be particularly aware of the new theory around homosexuality.

LGBT rights in law It was a mixed time for the legal position of LGBT people. The death penalty for sodomy was abolished in 1861 in England, Wales and Ireland (1889 in Scotland), and replaced with minimum 10 years hard labour. In 1871, two amab people, Boulton and Park, were tried for dressing as women, but the judge ruled that this was not an offence under English law (though he also said that he thought it should be).

On the left: Fanny Park and Stella Boulton; on the right, the Illustrated Police News' depiction of their arrest.

And in 1885, the Criminal Law Amendment Act reduced the minimum sentence for gross indecency from 10 years' hard labour to two.

That said, before that act was introduced, there had to be a witness to any sodomy or gross indecency for it to be prosecuted. The Criminal Law Amendment Act changed that, so all private acts, arguably even love letters, could be prosecuted. So despite the reduction in sentences, this change to the law made life harder for queer men in the 1880s and 1890s. From a Dracula perspective, this means that people would be much more careful about what they wrote down - significant for a novel made up of documents.

Lesbian sex has never been illegal in the UK. (The idea that this was because Queen Victoria didn't believe in lesbianism is a myth). But in the 18th century there were a series of prosecutions of afab people who lived as men and married women. They were prosecuted for fraud when their birth sex was discovered, because they were perceived as having defrauded their wives. There were far fewer such prosecutions in the 19th century, possibly because of the belief that it was better not to create the publicity of a trial.

Victorian WLW There are HEAPS of notable Victorian lesbians and bisexual women, including a lot in the suffragette movement. So I've chosen a few examples based on there being good images on Wikipedia.

From left to right:

Margaret Benson and Janet (Nettie) Gourlay were Egyptologists who met at the excavation of the Precinct of Mut. Almost all of Benson's family preferred same-sex relationships.

Louisa Baring, Lady Ashburton, was briefly married to a man, but when she was widowed, began a 25-year relationship with American sculptor Harriet Hosmer. Harriet described herself as Louisa's "hubby".

Matilda Hays was a mixed-race writer and actress who had a relationship with American actress Charlotte Cushman, with whom she's pictured. Hays aimed to use her writing to improve the condition of women.

Victorian MLM Again, I've chosen people to highlight through the very representative method of good photos.

From left to right:

Edward Carpenter was a socialist, poet, philosopher and early gay rights activist who met his partner George Merrill on a train. The two men came from very different backgrounds: Carpenter from privilege, and Merrill from the Sheffield slums. Their 40-year relationship inspired the ending of EM Forster's novel Maurice.

Charles Ricketts and Charles Haslewood Shannon were artists who met as teenagers and lived together for more than 50 years. In the Times' obituary for Ricketts in 1931, their relationship was described as being "as remarkable as any of the great historic friendships, or the finest Darby and Joan examples of wedded felicity".

Ned Warren and John Marshall were art collectors who together were largely responsible for the Roman and Greek Art Collection of the Boston Museum of Fine Arts and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Marshall married Warren's cousin, Mary Bliss, but only on the condition that the marriage would not be consummated. All three lived together until they died and were buried in the same tomb.

Trans Victorians I wrote last year about Dr James Barry, a Victorian trans man, in the context of whether Jack Seward could be trans. (The post is from October, but spoiler free).

Eliza Edwards was an actress who died in 1833 at the age of 24. Her body was autopsied, and discovered to be - in the words of the autopsy - "a perfect man", which had apparently not been known to any of her friends or colleagues.

Harry Stokes was a bricklayer in Manchester, who was outed as trans in newspaper articles during his divorce 1838 and again after his death in 1859. He became something of a figure of fun after being first outed, but met another woman who lived with him as his life, and was broadly accepted by the local community as a trans man.

It was only through chance that James, Eliza and Harry were outed (and in James Barry's case, despite considerable efforts on his part). There might well have been hundreds or thousands more people like them.

And Boulton and Park, who I mentioned above, have usually been treated as transvestite men by historians, but could equally - had they had the terms themselves - be identified as trans women. Some contemporary newspaper articles even used she/her pronouns for them.

Asexual Victorians Asexuality is tricky to spot in history, though even in 1896, German sexologist Magnus Hirschfeld was identifying it as a distinct phenomenon. What we do know is that more than 10% of women and a little under 10% of men in the 1890s never married, and in some cases that may well have been because they were asexual or aromantic.

From a Dracula perspective, family rumour held that Florence Stoker declined sex with her husband after the birth of their child. That may or may not have been true (and there's a ring of aphobia to some of the family's claims) but it shows how asexual people might also be found in apparently conventional marriages.

Sources British Library: A Short History of LGBT Rights in the UK British Library: A timeline of LGBT communities in the UK Girlfriends of Dorothy: A Timeline of Lesbian Rights UK 1601 - 2020s (note: the site intends to be trans-inclusive, but genders John Barry as female.) Open University: Lesbianism and the criminal law of England and Wales “Constant Companions” and “Intimate Friends”: The Lives and Careers of Maggie Benson and Nettie Gourlay Sapphic sexuality: lesbian myth and reality in art and sculpture British Library: Transgender identities in the past Warp and Weft: The extraordinary life of Harry Stokes British Academy: Happy Families? Coitus Interruptus: Sex, Bram Stoker, and Dracula 'Missing person' Florence Stoker added to DIB

#dracula daily #long post #historical context #lgbt history #queer history

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