#little does he know it's a prison he's keeping himself in by denying the truth
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chirpsythismorning · 2 years ago
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☎️🎲 🤼‍♂️ ✈️🚪 ➡️ 🫀🎮⌛️
I Want To Break Free by Queen
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previous ⏪ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist
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catsandgoodbooks · 1 year ago
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So. Punz and George. They're both very much defined by their relationships with Dream, probably more than anyone else on the server. It's hard to talk about Punz without bringing up Dream, and it's hard to talk about George without referencing him either. They have lives, of course, but Dream is always at the forefront of their minds. Punz spent a whole year of their life just waiting for Dream's escape; George dreams away the days even after the jailbreak in a fantasy world of his imagination where everything is perfect and he can be with Dream.
But they don't really have a relationship. They don't talk, especially not about Dream, because that would show that they cared, and George is trying to deny that to himself after the dethronement and Punz cannot allow anyone to consider even for a moment that they are on Dream's side or it was all for nothing. So the relationship they do have, weak and distant as it is, is based on bitterness and perceived betrayals and envy.
George doesn't really think about Punz much. If he did, he'd had to think about Dream, and not his Dream, not the Dream that exists only in his dreams now, but the actual, real Dream. The Dream who dethroned him without a second glance. The Dream he abandoned. The Dream locked away in an obsidian prison, rotting away as George sleeps. And George doesn't want to think about Punz. Not when it pulls him out of his dreams and makes him think about Dream.
When he does think about Punz, though, he's not exactly a fan of them. They betrayed Dream; undeniably, inexcusably, they did. They had his trust, and they threw it away for a little extra bit of money. George would never do something like that. Dream left first, after all. Dethroned George first and told him he didn't care what happened to him. Dream never did that to Punz.
And that's important. Dream never turned against Punz; they were the one who chose to betray him. Dream never quite trusted George the same way he did with Punz, and, in the period leading up to the dethronement, he let George in on less and less of his plans, grew closer and closer to his mercenary. George told himself it was because Dream wanted to keep him safe. After the dethronement, he accepted the fact that Dream just didn't care about him anymore, and that it had been a sign of that.
George tells himself that if he had been in the situation as Punz, if Dream trusted him, he would of never done what they did.
Punz...doesn't have a great opinion of George, to tell the truth. They might of pretended to betray Dream, but George (and Sapnap, and everyone who was there and just watched it happen) is the one who actually did. George left. He left and didn't come back, didn't even show up for the arrest/execution (because that's what it really was, an execution, no use dancing around it). He didn't even go visit Dream in Pandora's Vault, even when he had every chance to, even when he didn't have a plan dictating that he absolutely could not do that. Not like Punz did.
Unreliable. Untrustworthy. Uncaring. Those are the nicest words for what George is, at least to Punz. Dream died, twice, and George was nowhere to be found. Just because Dream had been trying to keep him safe. To make sure people didn't try to target George to hurt Dream. And George just left, like that was an option in this game they were all playing, that none of them save Wilbur had chosen to play, like you could just throw up your hands and say "okay, that's it, I'm done" and leave with immunity, taking everything you've done with you. That wasn't how the world worked. And it didn't matter if George understood that or not, because it still hurt Dream, and that was what was important. Because what George did was a betrayal, and because they were already familiar enough with that to know how bitter it tasted. Because Punz had to constantly pretend and reap what they had sown and deal with this betrayal they had committed - not the one they were infamous for but the one in their heart and their brain and the way people looked at them and laughed with them and the way they had agreed to the plan and let Dream die and the sneaking suspicion they had, growing louder every day, that something had gone wrong and that they had to do something about it but that too would be a betrayal - but George didn't, just because he had been there earlier and knew some people longer. Because people trusted him more and he didn't have to prove how reliable he was and how much he hated Dream and all that.
And because George had Dream's love in a way Punz never could. Dream loved too freely, that much was true, but he flinches at every motion Punz that was a little too fast, a little too sudden, and makes sure to call everything a business arrangement, makes sure they're mercenary and client, makes sure to suppress any little trace of attachment that could get either of them hurt. And, even now, even after George has gone and left, Dream still loves George; Punz isn't too blind to reality to miss it. And they had kinder days together, back before everything went wrong; there were no kinder days for Punz, and there never had been.
Despite everything, they're two sides of the same coin: wishing for something that is no longer reachable, no longer possible, because things have changed and because people have changed. Because Dream has changed, partially due to the decisions they made, and there isn't anything they can do to go back to how it was. Not truly.
And neither of them really care about anything or anyone else. They're not here to fight for ideals or morals, they just want to keep the people they love safe and away from the people who would want to hurt them. They are willing to kill for it, but, because of who Dream is, and because that would put them in danger, they can't. They're not allowed to, explicitly in Punz's case, implicitly by Dream pushing George away. Because Dream wants to keep the people he cares about safe, and that can't happen if it looks like he cares about them or vice versa.
(It's only okay if Dream's the one getting hurt, after all)
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4amfnaf · 7 months ago
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FNAF 1 Kingdom AU Headcannons?
I guess? And they’re also humans idk
Idk whats come over me, might continue with this if people like it though…
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Freddy:
The King, duh
Good at his job, respected by his people, feared by his enemies.
May have certain mysterious magical powers
Charismatic, intelligent, an excellent leader with a sort of mysterious allure to him; almost always seems to know something you dont
Overall really awesome, yet somehow chronically bitchless
Bro CANNOT get laid, most girls end up thinking hes weird (no one knows the reason)
Citizens and other royal subjects genuinely fear he may never produce an heir 💀
Both of his parents are dead, and he doesnt even need to tell you, you can kind of tell just by looking at him
Chica:
The Royal Advisor/personal assistant/acting Queen (since Freddy cant get a real one)
Has lived with the royal family her whole life, and was initially a servant until her friendship with Freddy led to her gradual promotion
Shes basically his second in command when it comes to the welfare of the people; she cares a lot about keeping them happy and healthy
Many wish she would actually marry Freddy and become the Queen, but shes really not interested (after knowing him his whole life, he is NOT her type)
She has a sweet and caring nature, and is loved by the community for it. Although, shes known to be a little too ambitious with her kindness, which has ended up biting her in the past
Also is known to spend a lot of her free time in the royal kitchen, baking, cooking, and maybe only a little annoying the head chef by butting in.
Bonnie:
The Court Jester
Fuckin hates his job
Does he run around jingling and making a fool of himself regardless? Yes, but he does NOT enjoy it
Only remains employed because sometimes he gets to shred on the lute (and because Freddy insists hes “such a silly little guy” and wont release him)
Actually somewhat stoic and nihilistic by nature, dare one say cool, but certainly capable of mischief
Occasionally gets fed up while performing (because anything other than playing the lute drives him crazy), and loudly threatens to- ahem- ‘kill everyone in here and then himself,’ but no one takes it seriously because they think its part of the bit (this drives him even crazier)
Shockingly, is also a close advisor for Freddy. Given that he’s always around for entertainment, he ends up hearing everything anyways. Sometimes has good ideas, sometimes Freddy just laughs and says “what a silly little guy” when he suggests something (once again drives him crazy)
Known to flirt with any nearby maidens, and it would probably work if not for his goofy ass outfit. He curses Freddy’s name for making him dress like a freak.
Foxy:
Pirate turned Knight
Was a highly wanted criminal, as he was very good at being a pirate. When he was eventually caught, Freddy gave him the choice between life in prison, or becoming a knight, as he was skilled in combat.
He actually chose life in prison initially, something about a pirate’s honor or whatever, but Freddy said he could keep his ship if he became a knight, so he couldn’t refuse
Definitely relishes the glory and attention he receives being a knight, but if you ever asked him he’d vehemently deny it- he’ll always be a pirate at heart
He worked his way up the ranks and is now one of the head knights, being the fastest and most agile. He works closely with Freddy, as Freddy values Foxy’s less biased input (all the other nights and guards kiss his ass)
Fiery and a tad dramatic, has many pirate stories to tell (that no one can verify the truth of), and the people somewhat begrudgingly regard him as the strongest warrior in the kingdom other than maybe Freddy himself (if he were to fight that is). Hes capable of getting down to business when needed, but he tends to be a little more on the eccentric side.
However he is chronically clumsy around girls, therefore also subsequently bitchless
For some reason fnaf reverse harem kingdom AU shojo comedy is really speaking to me rn
Considering making a little fanfiction comic about this… idk should i do it? Be fr with me guys
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amugoffandoms · 1 year ago
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DAY FIVE OF MILGRAMTOBER EVERYONE!!
really tried to get something out of this, really wasn't sure what to do today!
Devil's Advocate - idiom, a person who expresses an opinion that disagrees with others so that there will be an interesting discussion about some issue. Historical Context: The Devil's advocate opposed 'God's advocate' (advocatus Dei; also known as the 'Promoter of the Cause'), whose task was to make the argument in favor of canonization. During the investigation of a cause, this task is now performed by the 'Promoter of Justice' (promotor iustitiae), who is in charge of examining the accuracy of the inquiry on the saintliness of the candidate.
Fuuta exhales as he impatiently taps his foot against the floor while staring at the wall across from him.
It's funny. A couple days of days ago, he didn't expect to be in fucking prison. He didn't even... commit murder. But, anyways, what does that matter? There are innocent people here!
"What kind of human rights violation..." Fuuta huffs.
MILGRAM is confining and imprisoning innocent people here! What the fuck kind of… That's wrong! On multiple levels! And, they didn't even them smartphones or computers! What the hell?? They're practically sick in the head for depriving people from the internet.
Everyone's acting like this is a good thing, either to just hang out or be properly judged. How in the slightest is this a good thing???
He's brought this up multiple times just for someone to agree with him and say that this is wrong, but they all seem to just ignore what he says.
It doesn't even matter. He'll fucking scream at the Warden about how wrong this is. He'll be the representative that brings up everything wrong if no one else will. He'll be the one to bring up better treatment.
He needs to make sure everyone knows that they're a prisoner and they need to find a way out because everything here is wrong. He'll shout as loud as he can so everyone can understand that they need to get out of this violation of everyone's rights.
He rubs his eyes as he throws himself onto his bed and stares at the roof instead.
This is wrong! So, why is everyone denying it? Why would you deny the very truth staring in your eyes??
He may be aggressive, but he's at least bringing up good points.
Why would someone kidnap ten different people just to "judge" them?? How fucking stupid--
Fuuta wants to throw a pillow across the room, pissed off at this entire situation.
He'll fucking destroy this place. Show them true justice.
Exhaling, he shuts his eyes. He wants to just forget this place for a little while when he sleeps.
Eventually, he drifts off.
Fuuta stares at his phone, posts he apparently posted but doesn't remember posting on his timeline. He must have posted this in a fit of justice. He saw how wrong this was and knew that there was an injustice being occurred, so he called them out!
He was probably trying to prove her injustice, showing that she's wrong. She needs to understand that! She's in the wrong, so she shouldn't make excuses, right?
He was promoting justice by vanquishing evil and proving how people are in the wrong. When they find out they're wrong, they can hopefully change.
Even if she's young, she... she needs to understand what she's done. She's just another offender, right...?
Shaking his head, he continues to scroll on his phone, lying on his back. He keeps seeing random posts and they're all uninteresting, so he swipes to see any other posts until-
High school student found dead after backlash online
"What?" Fuuta whispers to no one and quickly sits upright. He wraps his blanket around him, just... to feel safe, or something stupid...
He clicks the article and starts reading.
...Girl was found... dead... earlier this morning...
Parents... mentioned backlash online for something... unsure what really happened... stated she was... paranoid days before she died
Police are still... figuring out if... this was a suicide.
"No-- No way... She didn't--" Fuuta mutters.
She wasn't supposed to die.
Fuuta jolts awake with a scream stuck in his lungs. He's fine. He's fine. He's fine.
And... for a moment, he almost thinks he hears someone call him a demon for attacking people and letting the girl die.
He shakes his head. He's just helping justice by vanquishing evil doers, right?
Right?
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delusioniste · 2 months ago
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나과장/Captain Na headcanons (슬기로운 감빵생활/Prison Playbook)
Simultaneously an appreciation post also he's so fcking handsome. Warnings: nsfw, mental health issues
- you were at high school together in the last year before graduation as friends [actually 'friends' is too much, more like classmates or even acquaintances]
- he wanted to study law but then went to the military, beyond his mandatory service, got promoted etc etc
- you were both overachievers and A++++ students (you not so much as him and also humane)
- after graduating he ceased to have any already basically nonexistent contact to anyone but texted you out of the blue at some point after years at his promotion to captain
- you spent a whole day trying to remember who Na Hyung-soo was then went to see him at his base
- damn congratulations Hyung-soo!!
- that made him so freaking proud + boosted his ego a lot (he didn't show the former obviously and the latter only a bit)
- since you and his best friend were the only ppl who responded he you got taken out to dinner at the fried chicken place in his childhood neighbourhood (no, nothing fancy, he doesn't like luxury all that much)
- you all got drunk and at three am he slurred that he really liked you and you were really attractive and asked you out before vomiting into a bush where his bff was pissing
- like wtf
- you thought it was drunk rambling so you ignored it, you were also sort of drunk yourself though
- but you did start seeing eachother more after that, you were nearly done with uni and working a part time job while living with a rich friend and having a sketchy relationship with a guy you met on a clubbing spree
- he was uptight and a bit insular at first but started relaxing and opening up after a bit, telling you about his emotions (!) and also cracking jokes albeit really bad ones, started bringing along your favourite ice tea he got from the convenience every time
- you found him sweet and a genuinely nice person
- occasionally you went drinking together (rarely in fact, he kind of has a conflicted relationship with alc), one day he was super drunk and confessed to you again that he liked you more than platonically
- you thought why not
- first kiss + him vomiting (he can't hold in much alcohol but denies this like he's telling a proven truth), he HATES you bringing this incident up
- it was an on/off relationship and then you separated for a couple years and then started dating again after he started at Seobu Penitentiary, then you got a flat together
=======================================
- as a boyfriend Captain Na is extremely loyal and extremely prone to jealousy
- he remembers everything about you, what you like and don't like, who you often slag off, any medical stuff
- will make you coffee whenever he can and will mix you drinks himself on the kitchen counter with furrowed brows, claps it down in front of you and says "here"
- he smirks at you all the time literally, doesn't mean it as a mocking sort of thing, it's just how he smiles
- you make him grin and show all his cute little teeth, you can even make him laugh
- does not talk about his work, at least, he prefers to keep his private life separate from his professional life
- his colleagues don't know you exist and that your boyfriend is even capable of such a thing as dating
- has a generally military bearing
- he has a routine and will stick to it (military training taught him that, but he was also kind of always like that), for example he will always get up at five am to work out, then shower and shave, then get dressed
- you are still sprawled in bed
- will prod you and tell you to get up while shirtless with the wardrobe door open to reveal his compulsively neat rows of shirts and blazers
- will prod you again, and if that doesn't work he will stop and leave you to rot in bed, the rest is not his responsibility ~
- "aren't you going to be late to work?" with narrowed eyes and in an accusatory voice when you at last get up
- Hyung-soo is a touchy man in (bad) disguise around you
- he will brazenly, coolly deny that he likes being touched and that he likes touching you, will even push you away
- his arms snake around you a few minutes later and he doesn't complain when you lean in and kiss his neck, is a little flustered
- subtle touches like a hand on the small of your back, brushing thighs, his fingers slipping up your waist
- is often afraid of making mistakes or doing anything "wrong", doesn't tell you this
- please hug and embrace him, he melts when you do
- occasional completely unexpected kisses with tongue and everything, one moment he's being an apathetic sarcastic bastard and the next his tongue is down your throat and he's shoving you against the wall, the table, the window, but never in public I repeat never in public
- likes to come up behind you
- likes watching science fiction films, will sit leaning forwards with a bottle of water and stare intensely at the TV
- comments to you in a clinical tone that this doesn't look very realistic does it? and holds your hand, he even plays with your hair if you sit on the floor against the sofa between his knees
- he is invested in his appearance a lot and is protective of his hair, does not like it mussed up
- he will buy you hair products at the same time as buying himself his own, gets super invested in your health and considers it his duty to tell you to go out for a bit, eat healthier, that you have a doctor's appointment tomorrow
- he's an independent sort of person who can easily detach and do things alone if needed or wanted so you both mutually sort of go your separate ways during the working day, sometimes also on the weekends
- but he appreciates you no end and secretly, maybe even subconsciously wants you to be with him forever because he can't actually imagine anyone else
- smokes very rarely when very stressed, otherwise he is an advocate for not smoking ("you'll get lung cancer if you do that, you know" from the balcony door)
- also when stressed he prefers to be alone and keep everything to himself and solve problems on his own
- will not accept help but you put your arms around him from behind and just fcking tell me what's going on inside your brain
- he will struggle then give in with reluctance
- is generally a quiet and reserved person, will occasionally raise his voice at work when people make him angry beyond anger
- never raises his voice at you, even in arguments, he thinks too much before speaking
- you find this irritating and wish he would scream at you for once instead of talking in that low threatening way
- wears a plain T-shirt and flannel pj bottoms to bed
- wears sunglasses when out and about, holds hands with you when he's wearing them because he feels anonymous enough to perform PDA
- is compulsively neat and tidy, may be on the OCD spectrum but on the milder side, needs to straighten and arrange everything
- you always seem to mess things up and just not be a neat person, it drives him insane, tells you to tidy up then actively does it himself because *sigh* he only trusts himself with this kind of thing
- likes to read nonfiction but always without fail switches the lamp off at one am because he needs his beauty sleep
- does pull all nighters sometimes though at work and at home (because of work)
- his best friend is still marvelling at you guys' relationship, teases Hyung-soo about it, never receives any response but silence
- his mother sometimes comes to visit with food
- he will get really soft with her and be smiley and considerate and at her beck and call while you chat with her and laugh at your man together as he cleans things up and makes you all dinner (he's good at cooking)
- introduced you to her when you started dating, "Mum, meet my girlfriend" (she was shocked)
- you sleep in one huge king sized bed together because you both need space for yourselves but also the possibility of touching eachother
- will sometimes just lie on the living room floor motionless and unblinking with his limbs spreadeagled
- you a) hover your foot above his face and make him smell them (doesn't react) or b) lie down next to him or on top of him (puts hims arms around you)
- jealousy jealousy jealousy
- the green eyed monster is his patron saint (actually his dad was Catholic, his mum is Buddhist and he is an atheist who makes occasional trips to temples)
- watches your interactions with male persons with narrowed eyes
- has his arm around your waist when possible, also stands behind you like...a prison guard
- actually the warden knows about your relationship and finds it endearing, you all once went to dinner together and also went on a hiking trip and visited a temple
- you also found him endearing and told your boyfriend so
- he snorted
- he feels uncomfortable saying I love you but says it anyway in a sarcastic and emotionless sort of voice before excusing himself
- if he notices you're not ok or struggling mentally he does not know what to do
- painfully conscious of his shortcomings in the emotional support area, will berate himself
- will ask you what's the matter in a serious way like he's a doctor or smth
- if you cry he will distance himself at first to figure out a plan then comfort you with logical reasoning, and if that doesn't work he will just hold you close and let you smear your snot on his shirt
- if you need therapy then he will look for the best therapist he can find, cross referencing and so on
=======================================
- make out sessions at home and only at home
- doesn't run out of breath ever
- this is the only time he will allow his hair to get messed up (apart from sleeping)
- likes to kiss your stomach for some reason
- you straddling him or you both standing while making out
- he likes doing the act in the bed when it's not too bright
- will get really hard really quickly, will ignore this for ages but grunt a little and shift his hips
- may also cum before you even undo his trousers
- vanilla sex in bed, the most adventurous he is willing to be is doggy style, standing sex and sex against the furniture or balcony window
- his cock isn't the largest or longest, just average, will literally be parallel to his stomach when erect
- has precisely trimmed and groomed pubic hair
- doesn't have a lot of body hair, mostly a smattering on his legs and arms (he shaves his arms)
- is not thattt into oral, prefers to receive if ever (I just can't imagine him eating anyone out)
- finger fucks you and is extremely good at it
- mostly a slow sex person, will get rough and hard-and-fast when asked to and when frustrated
- is surprisingly tender and romantic, maybe a little clumsy, when he gets to it and hates to hurt you in any way (will almost break off the sex if he accidentally does out of shame and alarm)
- is not particularly vocal at first but towards his own climax he will groan and so on
- likes hearing your sounds a lot
- sometimes he has a weird kinky mean streak (is it for fun? who knows) where if you fuck around with him too much, he threatens to impregnate you during sex
- you don't know what to think
- once you teased him when you were with the warden and his sister, touching his thigh and brushing over his crotch
- it gave him a raging erection and made him angry and frustrated as fuck, had to excuse himself
- the trot singer sister of the warden maybe noticed, which Hyung-soo noticed in return... he was not happy
- he likes it when you praise him and tell him how good you feel and he feels, it boosts his ego
- he was a virgin before you
- masturbates sometimes, doesn't watch porn though, he tried with a nude photo you gave him to put in his wallet (he is terrified of it being found by any colleagues) (once he got a fleck of cum on his uniform trousers, tried to wash it off but got caught by Lt. Song who wondered wtf Captain Na was doing at the sink)
- doesn't actually like talking about sex or love with you though
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stagnantmako · 1 year ago
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❛ do they... y'know, let you jerk it in that little prison cell a'yours? ❜
it's taken more time than nero would like to admit to figure out why reno poses these questions, presses so close. why his eyes will flicker the length of the sable's body.
this man is attracted to him.
perhaps this is still to get a rise out of him, but he betrays himself in the little ways. desire is a strong emotion and occasionally it radiates.
nero's unhooking the tie from his neck, carelessly dropping the suit jacket where it falls. he's tired, he's sore, and eager to rest for a few hours before they set out on the next leg of their hunt. reno poses the question as he's heading for the doors, intent on showering the filth off.
and he pauses. considers.
in truth he has no desire to. at least when down in deepground, when everything that makes him feel human is ground down to nearly nothing. the sedation keeps him too numb physically and mentally to stir. even if he could conjure the thought, his hands are never freed. self-pleasure is something he has never bothered with because he has never been given the space.
but reno does not need to know that.
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"ah... so that how you imagine me?" he asks, his voice a husky whisper. "or perhaps... how you desire me? tied up, denied my own touch, sweetly begging for yours?"
he glances over his shoulder, gaze slowly dragging along the turk's lean form. there's a half smile, just the barest lift of his lips. flirtatious as it is carnivorous.
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pennylaneforthoughts · 3 years ago
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Okay but episode 4 from Mobius' perspective is literally the saddest thing if you let yourself think about it for too long.
Imagine you're Mobius and you have a huge massive crush on Loki, and by the end of episode 2 you feel like you've bonded so well, and you know, maybe there's a chance he likes you back. But then he betrays you, runs through that time door after Sylvie and everyone is telling you he's just yeeted out Like Always but you're like "No there's gotta be another explanation. We were friends. Really friends. We had something."
And then you find out that not only did he yeet after Sylvie, as you're dragging them through the halls, all they look at is each other, and it's not until Sylvie's down another corridor that Loki even pays you any mind or says anything to you. And you're just absolutely seething because of course everyone else was right. How could you be so stupid to think Loki could ever like you back? Hes a literal god. You're just some random guy, a bureaucrat. Of course he would rather be with some crazy, stab-happy version of HIMSELF than you.
And you feel so jealous, so angry, so unwanted you can barely think straight. But you still have to do your job even though you feel like this, so you lie and sneer and poke and prod because you're angry and hurting and a part of you wants Loki to hurt too. And then as you're interrogating him, you see him get all teary eyed over Sylvie, and you think, "How horribly painful and awful is this?" He'd cry over this girl after knowing her for less than a day, but he'd leave you without a care in the world. Not a goodbye or any sort of explanation. Would he even care if someone had told him you were pruned? Unlikely.
And you're so upset that even when Loki's yelling at you, desperately trying to make you see he's telling you the truth, it doesn't relieve you to see so clearly in his eyes that he's not lying, because those are the same eyes that you just saw worried over and crushing on Sylvie. So you slam your face directly into denial because how dare he? How dare he be honest now? And so you run away before you let yourself get sucked back in by those eyes, but it's too late, the damage is done. And even though you're angry and bitter and kind of wish Loki would just disappear, you can't deny he was being honest for very long. So you go and stick your neck out and investigate anyway, because you're nothing if not a lovesick fool, and even being angry at him isn't going to change that, no matter how much you try.
And if you're being honest with yourself, something really has been off about this whole thing, and Loki's rare honesty was the proverbial straw that broke your camel's back in this whole mess. After all, you've never been good at denying him when he looks at you like that. You were bad at it when he wanted to go to an apocalypse with you, and you're bad at it now. So you steal Ravonna's tempad and look for yourself. And where else could you go except to the archives where you and Loki had spent so much time together hidden away? It's only appropriate. And what you find just makes your heart sink.
Not only was Loki telling the truth, it's so much worse than either of you realized. Ravonna had killed C-20. And she had lied to you. And what beautiful, horrible irony that the person who was supposed to do nothing but lie was the one being honest, and your friend for nobody even knows how long is the one lying to you. Your whole world starts crashing down around you, and it's too much. You were already emotionally wrecked by everything going on with Loki. You didn't need this too. And oh God, the implications of it.
This means that everything you've done and said your whole known life has been wrong. And more importantly, it means you've hurt and killed for nothing. And that guilt just eats at your soul as you remember what you've said even just to Loki.
"You were born to bring pain and suffering and death. All so that others can be the best versions of themselves."
What have you done? How much damage have you caused? And it's this thought that spurs you forward. Because screw ideology. Screw glorious purpose. What even are those in the face of a person in pain, much less the person you've found yourself caring about more than anything else?
So you run. Almost on instinct. You run to Loki knowing exactly what memory you've looped him through out of bitterness and jealousy and spite, and you're praying you haven't caused irreparable damage.
"You deserve to be alone, and you always will be."
No, no, no, of course he doesn't. He has you. He'll always have you if you have any say in the matter. He has...
Sylvie.
You remember her. Them. The nexus event. And you have a theory. A theory you hate so much it makes you want to crawl out of your own skin and die, but it makes too much sense, and unfortunately, it could work. So as you step into the time prison, you ask.
"Do you really believe you deserve to be alone?"
And he says he doesn't know, but you can see he just doesn't want to admit that yes, he does. And it breaks your heart because you know that you've had a part in that. So you apologize in the only way you think Loki could begin to accept.
"You can be whoever, whatever you want to be. Even someone good."
And part of you is saying that to yourself too, because heaven knows you need to hear it just as much. And Loki's words are still ringing in your ears.
Friend.
How bittersweet. But you're an adult. You know you can't demand Loki's affection as much as you selfishly want to. If he wants to be with Sylvie, you'll force yourself to find some way to cope with that. It's fine. It only makes sense. You'd rather have Loki in your life as a friend than nothing at all. And you're happy to be reconciled at least a little.
But then you step out into the Time Theatre and everything stops. Ravonna is standing there and she's obviously pissed. She knows. You deflect, you lie, try to be as Loki as you can to get out of this. You're surrounded by Minutemen and pruning sticks but all you can think is you can't let Loki get hurt. Not now. He's the key to taking down the TVA. And it's clear Ravonna is having none of it. But you know her. You were friends. Good friends. And you know she's more angry at you than Loki at the moment. So you realize what you have to do to keep it that way. To protect him.
So you press the button you know will hurt her the most. You answer her question from just a short while ago. You bring all the focus onto you, knowing what it'll likely mean. Knowing it'll hurt her and make her lash out. You're not stupid. You're good at reading people. That's why you're an analyst. And if it means protecting Loki, you know you'd have been willing to die much longer ago than is probably reasonable.
You don't even try to avoid the pruning stick. And honestly? It's not even the most painful thing you've experienced today.
And besides. It's better this way. Now Loki can be with Sylvie, be happy, and you don't have to feel a dagger through your heart every time they look at each other. And it's not like Loki will really miss you.
It's better this way.
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firealder2005 · 2 years ago
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Whumpcember 2022 Day. 21 SELF-HATE
Featuring: Luke Skywalker Having Yet Another Bad Day. and gets the courage to confide in Leia. in a prison cell.
AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43616676
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Luke stared at the cell bars separating him and Leia from their weapons, escape, and freedom.
After years and years of close calls and triumphant escapes…the Empire had finally caught them.
He and Leia were on board the Star Destroyer Accuser , being transported to Vader’s command ship Executor .
To his father’s command ship.
The father he had been keeping a secret from his best friend ever since Bespin…
And they were going to be taken to him.
Come face-to-face with him.
Darth Vader, who tortured Leia.
Darth Vader, who effortlessly sliced Luke’s hand off.
Darth Vader…the father he’d been denying for so long.
Luke rested his chin in his hands, staring vacantly ahead. If Vader was his father…what did that make him ?
He had looked up to his father, to Anakin Skywalker, for so long, had longed to know him, had wanted to be like him , to make him proud .
But all that came crashing down with five little words spoken by the man who Luke believed to have killed his father.
No… I am your father.
Luke shuddered slightly, closing his eyes and tried to block out the memories.
If Vader was his father, and Luke shared his blood…did that make him-
Did that make him like Vader?
What parts of Luke came from Vader? Ben had only told him of the good in Anakin Skywalker - amazing pilot, cunning warrior, a good friend… - but none of the bad.
Luke bitterly smiled. Maybe that’s another reason why the truth(?) had hit him so hard. He had built up this perfect picture of Anakin, an idol to model himself after, and never even thought to ask about the darker side of him - the side people were usually careful not to notice, especially in their heroes.
Like Anakin.
Like Vader .
Uncle Owen’s voice entered his mind then, a slight scolding tone but soft all the same; Luke, you never want to meet your heroes. You’ll only be disappointed. You see them as one thing - a flawless picture - but in reality…they are as human as the rest of us.
Luke blew out a small puff of air, smiling a bit at his uncle’s words.
Or, well, I guess I should say sentient as the rest of us, but it doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it? Uncle Owen had fumbled over his words trying to amend his statement, but either way, he was right.
Never meet your heroes, for they will disappoint you.
And Luke had learned that the hard way.
Force, he had been so stupid to ignore Ben and Master Yoda’s advice.
Why hadn’t he listened to them?
(Why didn’t they tell you the truth? A snide voice mocked. Luke pushed that thought away, not wanting to dwell on the possible reasons.)
“Luke?” Leia’s voice came from the cell next door. “You okay? You’ve been rather quiet.”
Luke glanced away from the cell bars and instead looked at the ones separating him and Leia. “Just…thinking,” he admitted, rubbing his pants as his palms began to sweat, despite the cool, filtered air in the detention level.
Leia studied his face, his eyes that were avoiding her gaze, and knelt down so she was pressed right up against the bars and reached her hand through, beckoning with a flourish of fingers.
Luke let a smile form and he scooted over to her, grasped her hand, and she pulled him into a hug - well, as close to a hug as they could get with bars in the way.
“Wanna talk about it?” she whispered, eying the slowly revolving camera moving away from their position. Luke had timed how long it would take to move back over to them when they had initially been captured and he hadn’t let himself focus on his upcoming meeting with Vader.
Maybe this wasn’t the ideal place for a confession, but…
They had time.
He trusted Leia, even if he was terrified she would hate him.
He had to let it out. He couldn’t keep it in anymore.
Luke rested his cheek against the cold bars, barely moved his lips, and uttered his deepest, darkest secret;
“Vader…he-he told me that,” he took a shuddering breath, cursing himself. “He told me that he was my father.”
He felt Leia jolt, felt her wave of surprise, shock, and confusion.
But no hate.
No anger - at least, none directed at him.
No fear.
He finally let himself relax, comforted by the truth that Leia didn’t hate him - oh, she hated Vader all right. Despised him with every fiber of her being.
But she didn’t hate Luke .
“Was that what…” Leia trailed off, and Luke glanced up, seeing her biting her lip. “What the dreams…?”
“Yes,” he confessed. “After he cut off my h-hand, he told me that he was my father.”
“You’re certain?” she quietly asked as the camera paused, staying still as it’s lens focused on the opposite side of the detention level. “What if he was lying? To manipulate you?”
“It’s possible,” Luke admitted. Force knew he was still wary of accepting it. But… “The Force can tell when someone’s lying,” he explained. “It’s something I’ve always been able to do - I guess that’s never why I truly believed my father to be dead for so long. I knew that’s what Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru believed, but something always told me that it wasn’t true…and the Force didn’t deny what Vader said.”
Leia was frowning. “But…didn’t General Kenobi say Vader killed your father? Why would he say that if Vader is him?”
Luke gave a helpless shrug. “I don’t know. He said that Vader “betrayed and murdered” my father. I don't know how else to interpret that than the obvious.”
Leia hummed in agreement, looking thoughtful as she gripped his hand.
“No matter what happens,” she suddenly said as the camera started to pan back over to them. “I’ll be there. I’ll be there with you when we confront Vader. I’ll be there for you if he tries to manipulate you. Heck, I’ll be glad to be there when you talk to General Kenobi again. Wish I could actually see him though so I can give him a piece of my mind!”
Luke huffed out a short burst of laughter. “I’ll be sure to pass on the message.” he grinned, feeling much lighter.
With Leia here with him, he knew he’ll be able to face the truth, no matter what it was, and push through it.
Because he could always count on her to help him get back on his feet.
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messy-nonbinary · 4 years ago
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Going Back Home..
TW: dark!loki, forced age regression, kidnapping, manipulation, gaslighting(Lemme know if I need more though I’m pretty sure this chapter is pretty tame compared to some of my others)
Paring: Soft!Dark!Daddy!Loki x Asgardian!little!fem!reader
Summary: You ran away from him 3 years ago and came to Midgard and joined SHIELD. You were an agent known for getting people to say the truth, it was your power. No one could lie as long as you were near them. So when Fury said that a prisoner wouldn’t talk and that sending you in would be the best option, you didn’t hesitate. But when you saw him, it was already too late.
A/N: I tried to make it seem like the reader was battling with her own thoughts. Hope it came off okay.. And requests are open!!
Masterlist
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*GIF not mine
“He’s very egotistical and only cares about himself. He’s also got powers of his own. They might contradict yours.” Fury explained. “Are you at least going to explain to me who he is?” You asked, rolling your eyes. “It’s not relative. He’s pretty manipulative. And knowing his name is the first way to make a connection.” He said, finally stopping you at a door.
He had been leading you to the prisoner's whereabouts. You were a SHIELD agent that had the power to get people to tell the truth. No one could lie when you were in their presence. Except for one person… No.. Stop thinking about him, Y/N. He’s gone. He hurt you and you left him. Why did you keep thinking about him? It’s been 3 years! Get over him! He’s no good for you!
The things he forced you to do.. The name he forced you to call him.. Why is it that you want to go back to him? To feel that comfort.. No! Stop it! There was nothing comforting about the way he made you wear a pull-up. There was nothing comforting about how he made you act as though you were a baby. And there was absolutely nothing comforting about what he did if you didn’t listen to him.
“You ready?” Fury asked, bringing you out of your thoughts. “Of course. Though I’d like to be alone with him? It’ll help me keep my powers focused solely on him.” You said. You still had no clue who you were meant to be extracting information from, though. Fury nodded and opened the door. You stepped inside, not noticing who was in the glass cage until the door was slammed shut. You looked at Loki with widened eyes. He smiled at you and you were compelled to walk closer to him.
He’s locked up.. He’s locked up.. He can’t do anything to you.
You had to assure yourself. “Hello, Y/N.” Loki said, smiling at you. You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything back, let alone smile back at him. “Hmm. It seems you have lost your manners since I’ve been gone. Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to teach them back to you. Now let me out of this cage.” He demanded. Your legs wanted to move, to press the button and let him out. But you willed yourself to stay put and look him in the eyes. “I can’t- I can’t do that, Loki.” Loki growled, his eyes darkening. “And why’s that?”
“You- You did some bad things, Loki. I’m only here to ask you why.” You said, your posture straightening as your breathing slowed down. “Is that so? It seems you’ve forgotten about all the things I’ve done for you. I gave you everything you asked for and this is how you betray me? Let. Me. Out.” He demanded again, banging his fist on the glass with each word.
“No! Loki I can’t! They’ll hate me!” You said, tears stinging your eyes. You wanted to let him out. You wanted to hug him, tell him how sorry you were for leaving. You wanted to accept him again, have him fill that pit in your heart that emptied when you left him.
“They already hate you! If you let me out now, I promise I will forgive you for running away.” Loki said, face softening in faux remorse, and he knew how badly he was getting to you. You looked to him with pleading eyes. “Forgive me?” You asked. It was something you wanted, sure. But at what cost? What if he was lying to you? What if when you let him out he goes right back to hurting you?
“You promise you won’t hurt me?” You asked. “Darling, I have never hurt you, and I never will. Will you please open the door like the good little girl I know you are?” He didn’t promise and you knew that but for some reason you still felt compelled to walk to the panel. The grip he had on you was strong, firm.
Even locked in a cell he was still able to get you to do what he wanted. You hated the fact that he had that effect on you. You stood in front of the control panel. “Come on, baby. I know you can do it. Just press the button. Let me out and we can both go home.” He said, his voice softening. Home? You hadn’t had one of those in a while.
Being with SHIELD, you were often very busy. You only went home to sleep, and get a change of clothes. And sometimes you didn’t even sleep at home, you would bring an extra pair of clothes with you and end up falling asleep at the SHIELD Agency. When Loki said the word ‘home’ you felt comforted. A flash of memories hit you when he said it.
You remembered the way he took care of you. And the way he always knew what you needed when you were upset. You remembered those nights he would rock you to sleep, feeding you with a bottle. It was oddly comforting. Why? Why? Why? Why!? You shouldn’t be feeling this way! You should be running, getting Fury! Telling him you can’t do this! The internal war you were having for yourself was agonizing. But you took a deep breath and realized what part of you had won. The part of you that had always won. Except this time, you accepted it.
You pushed the button. An alarm went off but Loki was free. You ran to him, arms out to hug him and he hugged you back, pulling you into a kiss, one filled with hunger and desire before pulling away and back into a hug. “My sweet girl. I knew you could do it. Because you’re my good little girl and you’d do anything for your Daddy. Isn’t that right?” You nodded into the crook of his neck, tears streaming down your face as you spouted out ‘sorry’ and ‘please forgive me’ over and over.
Loki pulled away from you and looked you over. “Such a beautiful face you have. It is a shame you denied me the access of looking at it for so long. But as promised, I forgive you. Though I am going to have to punish you for disobeying me the first time I asked you to let me out. Understand, little one?”
“Yes, Daddy.” You said without hesitation. It was as if you were on autopilot. The door to the room slammed open and you saw the Avengers in the doorway. “Lady Y/N?” Thor asked, confused. He had helped you escape Loki, set you up with a new name and everything, along with the help of Natasha. Neither of them knew you joined SHIELD, however, and you made sure of it.
“No. Y/N, listen, he doesn’t love you. You know this. Just step away..” Natasha said, looking to you with pleading eyes. You knew she was righ- No! She’s wrong! Loki does love you. Why would you even think otherwise? Why would you even think about leaving Loki again?
Loki wrapped an arm around your waist as he smirked. “Loki, Y/N, no!” Thor yelled as the two of you disappeared.
You appeared back in the home you lived in before you left Loki. Within an instance, Loki had used his magic to get you in an outfit he preferred, a black and green onesie and a pull-up in place of your panties, as he carried you towards your room. He gently placed you in an adult sized crib, handcuffing one of your wrists to a bar. He shoved a pacifier in your mouth and smiled at you. “See? Doesn’t it feel better to be home?” He asked and you nodded.
Home.. That word again. The word that pulled you in so deeply and you didn’t understand why. It was as though as soon as he said that word, you wanted to obey him- no- needed to obey him. You instantly became his.
“Good girl. We will be having a talk about your manners tomorrow, little girl. But until then, sleep..” He said, placing a kiss on your forehead and leaving, closing the door.
You were home..
You were back with him- your Daddy.
You were his, once again.
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sanguine-law · 1 year ago
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exorciiistt​:
The Exorcist backed a few steps away, trying to get some more space between them. The closeness to the other made him rather uncomfortable and he didn’t want to even just stand near the vampire. At hearing the words, Aesop just shrugged. A part of him wasn’t and couldn’t believe what Joseph was saying. It was most likely just empty words the other threw at him to gain his trust. ( Which was not going to happen anymore after Aesop realized the truth. ) 
“ Do keep the praise for when I slay the vampire. “ Red eyes looked up at him for a brief moment before they shifted to the ground again. It was almost provocative to say such a thing, but the other didn’t need to know. After all, for now Joseph was in the believes that Aesop didn’t know who he truly was and he planned on keeping it like that. 
A sigh passed Aesop’s lips, his head slightly tilted to the side so that some strands of grey hair could fall into his face. He looked tired, there was no denying in this, and the fact he was so close to getting his job done, yet somehow also just as far, was frustrating to him. 
“ This city seems rather cursed if you guys have so many cases of supernatural beings attacking it. “ Which wouldn’t be the first time he had heard of such a thing. Aesop also assumed that with the vampire’s presence, the other creatures would be more likely to show up here, too. “ Hopefully the…. next time you hear of me I have already killed the vampire. “ It was a weird thing to say, Aesop had to admit that, but it was a silent threat towards the other so that he knew that the Exorcist was being serious about wanting to kill him and free this city of the supernatural. 
Joseph smiled. When he slayed the vampire. As if it would happen. He watched Aesop put a little distance between them, and just kept his current pace. If the exorcist wanted a little personal space, he might as well have it.
Give the man a win somewhere before he inevitably failed his mission. It didn’t make much difference in the long run.
“I wouldn’t say cursed. No more than the rest of the world, anyhow. Magic beings are foolish, and they’ll infiltrate any city as long as there’s people. They always think they’ll be the one to stay hidden.” Which was ironic, given how Joseph himself had made his life hiding among humanity. If only the other could appreciate it. “They think they can hide.” He gave a huff of laughter. “But they never can. Not before me.
“Of course, this city does have a staggering population, so I suppose that would attract a number of magic beings against any better judgment they may have. Most of the cases I dealt with for the city specifically were at the start of my term, but you’d be surprised how many still tried to infiltrate over-” Joseph actually had to pause and think. How long had he been here? “Th’ past two decades?
“How many magic bugs try and make a home here only to be slaughtered.
“Of course, we also take a number of cases from other cities here. Anything close enough has their trial here, at times the defendants are none to eager to wait. A fair number try and escape, sacrificing their due trial and life for a chance at freedom. And how they plead, too.”
Then he looked to Aesop. Lowering his tone, “I’m sure you’ve heard it before. Their claims of innocence, that they’ve not hurt anyone or that they’re ‘just a human.’“ Never mind the fact Joseph knew that a number of people he’d sentenced to prison, and to death under the guise of being magic, were humans. “Their lies.”
Joseph glanced down. Then he waved the thoughts away. With a fresh sense of cordial professionalism, “Apologies, I got a bit off topic. I don’t believe our city is any more cursed than another, just more adept at rooting out the rot.”
Then he clasped his hands behind his back and gave the exorcist a more distant and friendly smile. “I do hope you’ll succeed soon in your mission, Exorcist.”
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dragon-kazansky · 4 years ago
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Stuck with you | Helmut Zemo
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Requested by @cherry-season I've changed it up a little, but it's still based off your request :)
This is a lengthy one, sit back and enjoy.
This was less than ideal. One moment you're chasing Flag Smashers through an otherwise abandoned building, then you're trapped in a room with the Baron Helmut Zemo.
The only way this could be any worse is if you were stuck in a room with Walker instead. You could guarantee that man wouldn't be leaving alive if that was the case.
Still, Zemo wasn't exactly your favourite person on the planet either.
The solid steel door had slammed shut behind you. You were unable to get it open, fearing it only opened from the other side. You're not sure exactly what kind of building this was, but it had clearly not been used in some time. Things were falling apart or rusting over.
"You can keep trying, little bird, but it won't open."
You take a deep breath, trying not to say anything snarky to him. You did not need his sass today.
"Well, I'm sorry, Zemo, but you're stuck with me unless we do something."
"I'm not complaining."
"I suppose you're used to being locked in a room." You turn away from the door and look around the room, not yet feeling up to actually acknowledging his presents by looking at him.
"Yes, but this time I have lovely company. I am at an advantage."
"Yeah right," you say, sarcasm dropping with every letter.
You want to sit down, but you do not want to touch the musty floor. You take to leaning against the wall with your arms crossed, finally looking at the only other human in the room.
"At least in a cell you have furniture."
"To an extent."
"Still, it's better than this horrid and dark room. Plus, something smells funky in here and it isn't me."
"Course not, you smell lovely," he grins at you.
"OK..."
Helmut, realising there isn't much to do other than talk to you, removed his coat and goes to lay it out on the floor, figuring you would be more comfortable sitting on it than anywhere else. However, he stops when call out.
"What are you doing? You'll ruin it!" You take the coat out of his hands and hold it close to you.
"Concerned about my coat?"
"What? No! It's just... it's a nice coat... probably expensive too. You'll ruin it if you put it on the floor."
"What do you suggest we do then?"
"I don't know, but let's not sacrifice perfection." You brush the coat down with your hand as you drape it over your other arm.
Zemo chuckles as looks around the room. It isn't a massive space, but there's very little in it, making it look quite roomy. He walks over to the opposite side and brushes along the ground sigh foot, deeming it worthy enough to sit on. You see him sitting with his back against the wall, looking up at you.
"Do you really want to be sitting there?" You ask, feeling kind of bad he would ruin his clothes like that. Who knows what kind of filth is in here.
"It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."
You sigh softly as you walk over to where he is.
"You're braver than I am, then."
"I don't know, you're rather brave," he doesn't sound like he's teasing you. He doesn't look like it either.
"If you say so."
Zemo gazes up at you. You can't read his expression, which feels a little unsettling.
"Put the coat on."
"Sorry?" You frown.
"Don't be, put it on."
You look at the coat still draped over your arm. Why did he want you to put it on?
"Why?"
"If you trust me just once in your life, let this be that once. Put the coat on, little bird."
You unfold the coat and put it on. It doesn't fit all that well, but it's warm. You look at him, unimpressed.
"Is this what you wanted?"
Zemo grins as he holds open his arms and gestures you over with his fingers. You look at him suspiciously.
"Zemo, what are you doing?"
"Come here. Unless you want to stand until who knows when. We could be in here quite some time, and since you won't sit on the floor, there is only one place for you to sit."
"You have to be joking."
He shakes his head and gestures you close with his fingers again.
"You're going be insufferable after this." You shimmy over and get down, taking a seat on his lap.
Zemo uses his arms to support you, but you're too busy gathering the coat and making sure it doesn't touch the floor. He chuckles in your ear as you purposely turn your head away from him as you shuffle in his lap, trying to get comfortable.
"Better?"
"Sure..." You're too embarrassed to look at him.
Helmut gives you a little squeeze, tugging you closer to his torso. This time when he chuckles, you feel the vibration of it rumble through his chest. He moves his head so it's buried in the crook of your neck.
"What are you doing?"
"Tormenting you. I have you in my grasp, I'm not going to waste this opportunity to mess with you."
"Is that all this is? An opportunity to mess with me because Sam and Bucky aren't here?" You shake him from your shoudler and glare at him.
"Or perhaps I'm just seizing the opportunity to have you all to myself?"
"I don't understand you..." Your gaze flickers between his beautiful brown eyes.
"Would you like to?" He grins at you.
"I don't know... but I suppose it will help pass the time. Where shall we start?"
"Check the inside pocket." He nods toward the coat around you. You follow his instruction and search the inside the pocket. You feel something small. Grabbing it, you pull it out and hold it up.
You look at Zemo unimpressed.
"I already know you like Turkish Delights. You made that clear." You look at it.
"They were my son's favourite."
"Yeah, I remember you saying," you mutter.
"That one is for you."
You think him quietly and open it, eating it. You look at him.
"I thought you were going to tell me more about you," you say, licking the powder from your fingers.
"I'm starting slow."
"Zemo, you can be honest with me. I'm pretty sure I know all of the awful things you've done. Nothing will surprise me. Plus, I'm already sitting on you, so if you're worried about what I think, I don't think you have to worry."
There's a cheeky smile on his face.
"Are you always this honest and modest?"
"Only when I want to be." You wink at him. You only realise what you've done after you see that mischievous glint return to his eyes.
"I see. I would very much like you to be honest with me."
"What makes you think I haven't been?" You tilt your head curiously at him.
"If you hated me as much as you tried to make it seem, I doubt you would actually be sitting here on my lap, eating my sweets, and giving me the time of day."
He's right.
"Then, I'll be more honest with you staring now. I don't hate you, Zemo. Not really. Don't get me wrong, I'm not happy about what you did to my friends, or the fact you brain washed Bucky and bombed a building and blamed it on him. You're an awful person."
Zemo nods softly.
"But, right here, right this minute, I'll pretend for a moment that none of that matters. Just let me see the man you are here and now." You look at him with a tiny smile, wanting to see the person he was in the moment.
"Well, so far, I'm the man who has let you put on his coat and eat his sweets. If I had access to a kitchen, I would make you a drink and we would sit and chat in a more comfortable spot."
You chuckle softly, you find yourself reaching for one of his hands, taking it in your own. He lets you, watching you do so.
"What else?" You ask, keeping your voice soft. You like the atmosphere you have created.
"I am the man who will look after you for as long as it takes your friends to find us. I shall be the best company I can be right now, if you'll continue to let me." He meets yours eyes, feeling the way you place your fingers between his.
"Not like I have much choice." You grin cheekily.
"I'll take it." He closes his fingers over your hand, letting you settle your entwined hands on your lap.
"When we get back to the house... maybe we could have that drink?"
You feel his breath fanning across you face. He feels all the more closer now as you look at him.
"If you would like that, I won't deny you the pleasure of my company," he smirks.
"I have to say, your company is nice."
Your noses are almost touching. You're really not sure how you find yourself to be in a position where you would even consider getting any closer to him.
"You changed your tune rather quickly, haven't you?"
"Seems so."
His eyes flicker to your lips. Oh, the temptation is strong.
"Maybe we should see how things go." You're whispering now.
"I can wait."
"I won't make you wait too long, after all, you're on borrowed time." Now you're looking at his lips.
"The bitter truth."
"Just means we have to make the most of it. Show me the Zemo I see before me. It won't change the fact they'll send you straight back to prison, but it might make us friends." You stare into his seemingly lost gaze. There's something about the way he's looking at you that you can't read, but he does look lost.
"My free little bird." He whispers.
"Trapped in the cage that is you." You let go of his hand to wipe the tear from his cheek.
He hadn't even realised.
Suddenly, you hear voice from the other side of the door. You hate to do it, but you part yourself from Zemo and stand up, dusting yourself off despite the fact you weren't all that dirty.
The door takes a couple of big tugs, but the boys get it open.
Zemo gathers himself as he gets up from the must old floor, patting down his pants as he stands beside you.
"We were looking for you two," Bucky says, coming over to you.
"We got trapped."
"Why are you wearing his coat?" Bucky looked you up and down.
"I was cold. Zemo was being a gentleman." You cross your arms.
Bucky eyes the Baron suspiciously.
Zemo shrugs and places a hand on your back gently.
"Shall we leave this horrible little place now?" He asks you.
You nod and walk out with him. You walk a little closer to him than you had before, and he notices it. His arm settles around you as you both leave the building together.
It's strange how such a small incident could bring you closer to someone you never expected to. You look at Zemo and smile. You'll make the most of the time you have left with him.
@ajeff855 @moonstuffsteve @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn
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punemy-spotted · 4 years ago
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The Price You Pay Chapter 4: Breach
Pairing: Mob!Steve Rogers x Reader, Senator!Andy Barber x Reader
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con elements, Dub-Con, Dark!Fic, Abuse of Legal System, Murder, Character Death (minor, possibly major), Love Triangle, Political AU, Mafia AU, Workplace Sexual Harassment, Abuse Mentions, Possessive/Obsessive Characters, Other Chapter-Specific Warnings May Apply, Possible Dead Dove: Would Not Eat
Chapter Warnings: Angst; Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse; Betrayal; Lies; F!Reader’s Age Kind of Finalized; Specific Reference to Age; Blackmail; Crying; Slight Panic Attack; Dead Dove: Do Not Eat
Chapter Summary: Even the truth can’t set you free.
Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3
Notes: And we’re back to pain. My outline got derailed for this chapter so bear with me, sometimes revelations need to be hammered in. No smut here for now but I also needed to get this arc finished so I can start on the next.
Also I know I keep jumping forward — I swear I will write about their relationship growing.
Thank you all for reading and commenting! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated, even if you’re yelling at me.
Not beta-read, these sins belong to me and me alone.
All of my work is 18+ Only, Minors DO NOT INTERACT. I do not consent to my work being posted anywhere besides Tumblr or Ao3 and I post my work there myself. Do not copy, translate, or repost any of my content.
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The air is…
Shifted.
Shifted enough that the whole office notices, avoids yours, avoids the glare Steve Rogers fires at them the moment they approach the door, avoids your eye. Shifted enough that you miss the before, the pressure of his presence demanding your attention, the smugness in his endless eyes you denied looking at.
Shifted.
Counsel.
What?
We need to talk.
Is that not what you’ve been avoiding doing all morning, Captain?
You swear you can hear his molar crack in the dead silence, but your eyes never flit upwards from the contract you’re poring through, red pen in hand.
Focus.
It’s a job, this life, and this is a part of it, the presence of him, the pressure of him. It’s a job, and he calls on you to do your duty and you do but no one has ever asked you to be kind and no one has ever asked you to smile as you bear it so you don’t.
It’s a job, this life, and this is a part of it.
You. Are a part of it.
Counsel.
It’s a bark, an order, an annoyance and you shouldn’t let his stubborn fury be the thing that derails you. This is your domain. Your palace of glass and steel, remember? New York buzzes behind you and you surge forward on the tightrope of his affections, teetering dangerously close to his temper and always, always daring him to pull you down.
Try it again.
Fine, with a sigh and a setting down of your papers, You’re closer to the door.
And in your defense, he is, seated on your couch as stiff as a board, scrolling through his phone on occasion and — previously, at least — deftly ignoring your inquiries about the status of his office and why he needs to spend his morning in yours.
He fixes you with a look you do not name and proceeds to stand anyways. The door clicks shut and stays that way — both of you have learned.
Do you still talk to him?
Excuse me?
The Senator. Are. You. Still. In. Contact.
He spreads out every word like an accusation and every word turns you a little colder. You’ve been avoiding this. Avoiding him, distracted by work, the both of you but now you are back in each other’s orbits and this…
This cannot be avoided.
I haven’t spoken to him beyond to tell him I returned home safe that night.
Not. For lack of wanting.
If he’s hurt you, just say the words.
There’s nothing you can say.
It’s been a week. Almost two.
He’s been kind, stayed away, kept his distance but that… that will not last. Only as long as whatever conference has his office busy and then you know what comes next and then you know what comes after.
The bruising may have faded but the memories remain, after all.
They always do.
Steve Rogers is not Andy Barber, is not warm-eyed concern or a soft-voiced invitation, is not trying to save you from the horrors you cannot name, is not to be trusted but Andy Barber is also not Steve Rogers, is not exactly the man you expect, is not the answer to your dilemma, is not the devil you know and you…
Are still testing your wings.
Get up.
Get up and walk away from the prison of your desk, see how far you can get before you shackle yourself to your own ambition. Get. Up.
Blue eyes watch you like he’s calculating the next angle of his attack and technically you know that’s exactly the case but let’s pretend a moment he doesn’t have his claws out and you aren’t trapped in a cage for him to batter.
Delude yourself into the power you think you have, and keep him there, across the room where he cannot show you how effortlessly he strips you of it and how deeply you enjoy it.
Don’t.
You may be in bed with the mob but you are not asleep to his crimes and this is just an interim, a plan, a moment.
You stood me up, Counsel. After we made our deal.
It was a week ago and you ever-so-kindly taught me my lesson — don’t wince as you speak, don’t let him know you remember, don’t let him think you actually learned from his hand, hard against your body.
He hasn’t since, after all.
He says your name.
He says your name and your blood runs cold and you freeze by the coffee machine you keep in your office and you turn. Senator Barber is a friend.
A dangerous friend. I won’t even ask if you know his stance on —
On the Syndicate? Oh I know. I know who he shakes hands with.
Then you know why I’m asking.
Are you loyal?
Are you?
Is it loyalty that keeps you here?
Don’t let your hands shake when you look at him. Don’t let him see the slide of your eyes, the glance outside, the wondering how long before your window would be a portal and that tightrope would snap.
You are not a fool.
This. Is not loyalty.
I keep to my ethical duties, Captain.
You’re sleeping with your boss.
Oh that one makes you laugh, sharp and cruel and you do look at him then, fix your eyes onto him and raise an eyebrow and watch. All that power, all that smugness, wrapped up in one body and how does he contain it, do you know?
I believe the actual term is serving at your pleasure.
It’s back to the game, the dance, the ruse, the steps you take around each other, the blades he digs into your chest the reminders he gives you you are a whore you are a whore you are a whore and you lift your chin up, dare him to look at the bruises his lips leave on your skin and ask him in the silence and what will you do about it.
You could hate him. You do, technically. You hate that you could love him in the early hours of the morning, when his eyes seek you out and soften at the reminder you’re still here. You hate that his invasive presence in your office is a shield as much as it is a virus, a comfort in the silence and you hate most of all that the way he looks at you with that open desire women might normally have just dreamed was possible makes you want to return it.
You hate that he is dangerous. That he has bound you to him like this, chained you to the idea of his warmth and that there is a sick sort of safety in the binding.
You hate that he looks at you now with something like hope, with something like obsession, with something like vulnerability and you hate that it strips you of that cold armor as effortlessly as his hands strip you of your resistance.
And he could hate you too, in the whispers he leaves on your shoulders when he thinks you’re asleep. He could hate that you are soft, that you are sweet on his tongue that you…
Are his.
Could hate that he has thought of nothing else but the very theory of your betrayal and you know none of these things but his eyes are not so inscrutable as he thinks and so—
He twists the knife.
I talked to your Judge, by the way.
You did what?
You heard me. Interesting conversation.
Excuse me?
You really sold yourself to me for a lover’s spat, Counsel? I thought you were better than that — woman of the law and all.
A lover’s spat? That’s what he told you?
Just what would you call it, if not that?
He’s daring you, back to somewhere between smug and angry, as if disappointed you made him waste his time and all you can do is feel your heart sinking, feel yourself back in that place again, the decade-long sting of control over your body, the painful reminder of the girl you once were.
Where is he?
Did you think I’d clean up your dirty laundry for you? I’m not a breakup counselor, and you nee—
You left him alive!? The panic in your voice is so palpable it stops him in his tracks all over again, suspicious and surprised and you step back to reach for something — steady yourself steady yourself steady yourself you are not safe you are not safe you are not safe.
I’m not killing your ex-boyfriend without a good reas—
I was nineteen!
The world tilts, shifts, your knees are buckling, that’s tears in your eyes and you.
Are that girl again.
Too small, too scared, too naive to know better, too easy to mold and break and manipulate and you promised you’d never be her again, you promised you’d get her justice and you promised it wouldn’t be like this over and over again, promised he wouldn’t sink his fangs into you a third time.
What? He sounds smaller. Or is it faraway? You are too busy trying to stand, trying to still the shaking of your hands, the cold chill in your veins, too busy feeling your knees surrendering, too busy sliding to the floor and staring blankly into your memory.
Counsel. What. Did. You. Say. He repeats himself, and then he’s crouching before you, holding your chin in his hand and when did you start having tears on your cheeks for him to wipe away?
I was nineteen, you repeat, blank and broken, not seeing his brow furrow, not seeing the regret flash over his expression, I didn’t want it. I never wanted it.
What are you saying, sweetness? How dare he sound so soft? How dare he sound like he actually cares, when he’s the reason you’re here, on this floor, barely resisting your breakdown yet again?
You know better.
I was nineteen, a third time, I needed a job, something to give me experience, and he — he used me. That was my experience.
He’s starting to understand, but it doesn’t matter to you, not when you’re staring too far into the past, into a sneering face and cruel hands.
(I can ruin you or I can help you, Intern, so you make your choice. You need me.)
It never stops. Not after the first time — but you know that.
But you know that. That’s your knife, the one you twist into his chest and the realization sinks in heavy as an anchor, the thing he’s done.
The thing he’s done to you.
So why wait until now?
I would have waited forever.
You hid the letter. Hid it well enough even he wouldn’t have found it rifling through your things. Hid the threat in those typewritten words and the casual signature swept across the stationary, unaffected.
Men like him never face consequences. Only you, only the women they make use of, the ones they turn into commodities for their enjoyment. Who would care if you’d made it public, if you showed the world the kind of man he was — he was appointed for life, he was friends with the Governor, he was powerful and you were never going to be strong enough.
(You wouldn’t want anyone in the District Attorney’s office knowing just the sorts of things you’re willing to do to get your way. I can still help you be an exceptional lawyer, Intern.)
What are you? Ambition and drive and skill but what does it all mean when it can be reduced to plaything and pet project and whore.
I helped him get appointed. He helped me get into law school. Introduced me to… To Andy Barber, who calls you Sunshine and watches out for you and comes to New York despite having no power in the state just to see you again because he worries, because he cares.
You pay.
And sometimes that payment bounces back.
You pay and you pay and you pay and you struggle but what is the culmination of your strife is it the sight of you finally broken on the floor, is it the moment he’s been waiting for, dragged off your pedestal why couldn’t he have left well enough alone didn’t he know the horse was for your protection and not his pride?
No.
They never do.
They never do, do they, always so wrapped up in themselves and even now he kneels in front of you and wipes your tears but he has no words to say to atone for what he’s done and you know he can never.
I need you to leave.
The words come out without your control.
You know what you are. You are fury made flesh and you will not be manipulated again, not by the pressure of his hands on your face, not by the way he almost hugs you, he lied he lied he lied he lied.
Sweetness…
No. You don’t get to call me that. Not anymore.
You could have tolerated it. You could have accepted it you could have let yourself become the prize he took, owned his defeat by defeating you, you might even have enjoyed it but no.
No.
I held up my end of the bargain.
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kikizoshi · 3 years ago
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Nikolai Hot-Takes
Based on existent panels:
Nikolai is, to some degree, unaware of modern things. He only has a tangential idea of what a band is ("A band is like an orchestra, right?"). I assume he only has a tangential idea of fast fashion, too. Like, "Oh, those clothes stores are like Koroviev's Ladies' Shop, right?"
I don't quite understand it, but as overtainted mentioned, Nikolai's right eye really does appear completely black when he's being ingenuine, and more light/clear when he's being genuine. I'm not sure if it's artistic or his eye really does change colours (Fyodor's eyes appear pitch black sometimes too, and fuzzy white others, which is why I'm assuming it's like Dazai's 'eyes losing light' thing), which is one reason I'm so much anticipating his animation. Anyway, that could be a reason that he covers his eye with a playing card, and if so, I think there is something crucial he's not letting on about concerning his 'Gogol's Apostate Game'. His card was on the entire time during that scene, and in general, he was in his usual clown persona that I've come to associate with masking the truth.
Nikolai loves tongue twisters and other word games of the sort.
I don't think Nikolai cares for anyone to think like him, nor does he think that others should. He mentions to Tonan that he envies people like him, who are born in a cage and die never realising it. He never tries to convince anyone, not Tonan, Atsushi, or Sigma of his ideology. He tries to explain, but he doesn't try to convince. I think he doesn't particularly care whether people think like himself, and his reason for killing someone would never be "to free them."
Nikolai only exists to ferry important plot devices along. As much as I love him, I can't deny that unfortunate existence. Alas, the soul that wishes to be free is ultimately bound to his fate as a paperboy... Genuinely, though, Nikolai is ever-interesting to me and easily one of my favourite characters, but I have to wonder whether his rapid changing of heart every new scene is representative of his increasingly manic state, or directly related to where Asagiri needs him to be and what he needs him to do. I lean towards the latter.
Indulgent ideas:
I think Nikolai could be from a similar place as Kenji (that is, a nonexistent, old-fashioned village). It would explain his seeming lack of awareness about something like a band. I can't say that his clothing supports this theory, since lots of BSD characters dress historically. But Nikolai being from someplace like Dikanka would be a cool nod to Gogol's earlier works, the same way Ihatov is a nod to Miyazawa's.
I think Nikolai and Fyodor met as adults, rather than in their youth. I don't have any basis for this, it's just a feeling.
I'm holding onto the idea that we haven't seen all of Nikolai's Ability yet. My only justification is that, while powerful, I don't see what an object transfer Ability has to do with The Overcoat, and it would be both interesting and in-keeping with Nikolai's character if the real purpose of his Ability had little to do with object transferring, but Nikolai rejected the idea of whatever it does (considering it's The Overcoat, his true Ability could contradict his own ideology, since The Overcoat seems to me to be Gogol's explanation of why people should never rise above their station), and made use of his Ability in his own way. All we know about Nikolai's Ability is that it can transfer objects within a thirty-metre range, that it connects to his cape, and that it might be able to store objects. (Though that last one I'm still not very certain of. Every time his Ability is explained, it seems to just transfer objects and not store them, but then there are scenes like when Nikolai takes out the poison briefcase, which it makes more sense to assume he stored in his Ability than he hid it in a neighbouring room and pulled it out from there, plus how he got the cart with the four objects to choose from into the prison in the first place, if he could only transfer things thirty metres at a time. But it's not impossible that he did those things without storing the objects in his Ability, so it's hard to say.) All that is to say, whether his true Ability is more similar to Montgomery's, I couldn't say, but if he does have s pocket dimension in his Overcoat, I find my "more to Nikolai's Ability than meets the eye" theory much more likely than if it only transfers objects.
I think Nikolai doesn't speak in exclamation points most of the time. We usually see him clownish and manic, but I think the more genuine side of him we see when he's talking to Atsushi, and the sort of insane genuine face that he showed to Sigma are a lot closer to his personality in his off-time. I don't have much basis for this, I just find it more believable.
Nikolai has a large nose (I know he isn't drawn that way), a unique interest in noses and nose-related things, a great passion for food, and doesn't understand women half as well as he understands men. These things are based entirely on Gogol and his works, but I love them so much that even if the first contradicts canon and the latter ones have no canonical evidence, I indulge my belief in them anyway.
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earnestly-endlessly · 3 years ago
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Cherik angst!
Ooooh the angst!! The cherik fandom has an abundance of angst fics and I could probably make a list of hundred fics to recommend, but these are some of my favourite angsty cherik fics. I should warn you though, some of these require tissues.
Cherik Angst
Everyday Love in Stockholm – tahariel
Summary: Magneto is the ruler of the posthuman world.
His only secret? Charles Xavier, the human he's kept locked in his bedroom ever since his right-hand woman, Mystique, came to him pleading for mercy for her stepbrother, who accepted her mutant form and protected her as a child. The human he started fucking after Mystique was killed in battle, despite the guilt he feels at contaminating even this last promise to the woman who was integral to his life's work and happiness.
Boden’s Mate – kaydeefalls
Summary: "Shaw has information that we need, and we need him alive to extract it," Moira says, and there it is: the job is on the table. Extraction.
XMFC/Inception fusion AU. Erik is an extractor, Alex is his point man. They're assembling a team to go after the most dangerous mind in dreamsharing: Sebastian Shaw. But unless Alex and the team can keep him in check, Erik's desire for vengeance might just rip the whole job apart around them -- and then there's the shade that haunts his dreams...
Ritual Self-Torture – TurtleTotem
Summary: Shaw is King, Charles is his royal consort and Erik is a Knight/Lord. Shaw is sterile but his kingdom can't find out, so he asks Erik to impregnate Charles.
He doesn't know Erik and Charles are in love.
The Winter of Banked Fires – Yahtzee
Summary: Charles Xavier has returned from the dead -- but is lost within his own mind. Rogue has cast aside her own power and doesn't know where she fits in the world any longer. The production of synthetic Cure means mutantkind itself is newly at risk. And Magneto, turned human against his will, is in despair until the day he feels a familiar consciousness tugging at his own
Us – Pangea
Summary: “Charles,” Erik says, and if his voice hits a pleading note then who can really blame him, “Charles, it’s me.”
It takes several longer moments before Charles musters up the strength to answer, breath stuttering horribly as he tries to breathe. He’s shaking, entire body trembling.
“Erik,” Charles says, his voice cracking, “Erik, I want to die.”
Enigma – Yahtzee
Summary: Erik dies, or finds a reversey-time mutant, or a magical time travelling device, and wakes up in the past. This time, though, it's before he ever met Charles - in fact, it's before his mother died.
He can save his mother that one time (thanks to his mastery over powers carrying back), but what does Erik do after that? Does he stick around, or escape and run to find Charles again (and hope everything doesn't go wrong)?
By Faint Indirections – kianspo
Summary: Erik is in his ~50s, and lonely and bitter. He survived the Holocaust and was only ~14 when the war ended; and even ~40 years later, living in a country that helped to end WW2 and the Third Reich, homosexuality is still a taboo topic. Then one day, he stumbles over Charles, who is young(early 20s) and bright and smart and cheeky and full of energy and beautiful. And moving in the same street where Erik lives.
Lonesome on the Shelf – ikeracity
Summary: After three years of marriage, Charles has to admit that his relationship with Erik has significantly cooled off. These days, they're barely ever home at the same time and it seems like every conversation they have turns into an argument. Charles misses the way they used to be, misses the spontaneous dinner parties and the surprise morning sex and the wake up calls in the early mornings to catch the sunrise. But it's going to take two of them to fix this marriage, and some days, it seems as if all Erik wants is to be rid of him.
A fic about rekindling marriage.
When the Spell Breaks – kianspo
Summary: Erik, a high-profile lawyer with a successful career, meets a 21-year-old grad student in a bar, and within a few short months marries him. He and Charles are blissfully happy, until Erik's boss runs a background check on Charles and discovers he's been cheating on Erik. Charles denies everything, as there was no affair, but Erik doesn't believe him and throws him out. As Charles tries to figure out how to survive and stay at school that he can no longer afford and makes a lot of bad if not plain dangerous choices, Erik has to fight his own battle of discovering the truth and winning Charles back.
The Tower and the Hurricane – dreamlittleyo
Summary:(Post-movie AU.) Five years after Shaw's death, Erik's predictions prove painfully accurate. Violence rages on both sides of the human/mutant conflict. In a world ravaged by war, it doesn't really matter who's more at fault. Charles struggles to teach his students a better way, but what choices will he make when peace really isn't an option?
The Attempt – Yahtzee
Summary: Charles knows everything about Erik, knows how obsessive and self-destructive he is, how Erik would do anything, give anything, in his quest for vengeance against Shaw. But he also knows that Erik loves him in ways that aren't exactly platonic.
I'd like to see a completely straight!Charles, out of pure love and care of Erik, initiate a romantic relationship with him. It can be because he wishes to give Erik something positive in his life or because he thinks it might help change Erik's mind about Shaw, the reason is up to author. Also, while Charles finds intimacy with Erik strange and awkward, he does enjoy the new, non-romantic layers that have developed in their relationship.
Apple Seeds – pprfaith
Summary: Charles, Erik, apple seeds and Shakespearean love affairs.
Ashes, Ashes – winterhill
Summary: Post-apocalyptic AU — When the bombs fall, and mutually assured destruction occurs, it turns out that Shaw was right and radiation does enhance mutant powers. Snapshots of the XMFC main ensemble in the time after the bombs: Erik decides to stay, Moira thinks she might be the only human left, Raven is having trouble sleeping, and Charles is losing his mind.
Warnings: nuclear holocaust: death (death in general, not a specific character), cancer, burns, medical procedure, mutant powers gone awry
Five Bullet Points – Sperare
Summary: It was supposed to be Erik locked away in a prison one hundred stories below the ground.
Charles was never supposed to be there with him.
Tequila on a spaceship – faerie_ground
Summary: In 2014, Charles Xavier gets brutally murdered and Erik Lehnsherr spends the rest of his life mourning his death.
In 3014, Captain Lehnsherr and CMO Dr Xavier are colleagues, best friends and maybe a little more besides that aboard the Magneto I.
The Tower and the Hurricane – dreamlittleyo
Summary: Post-movie AU.) Five years after Shaw's death, Erik's predictions prove painfully accurate. Violence rages on both sides of the human/mutant conflict. In a world ravaged by war, it doesn't really matter who's more at fault. Charles struggles to teach his students a better way, but what choices will he make when peace really isn't an option?
Simple and Uncomplicated – Pookaseraph
Summary: Erik and Charles had been fuck buddies for some, but when Charles is in an accident he figured their relationship would be over. Erik's visit to his bedside in the hospital changes his assumptions even as he has trouble believing Erik is sincere.
Lazarus – Clocks 
Summary: Erik is 19 when he says ‘I love you’ for the first time.
It would take five long years before Charles says it back.
Broken Eternity – CractasticDispatches
Sumnmary: It starts with being alone. It shouldn’t, perhaps, but it does because, of course, alone is what no one ever wishes to be.
Shout it Out Loud – dreamlittleyo
Summary: (Movie-Concurrent AU.) When Charles forges a telepathic link between himself and Erik, the two men find themselves bound together by more than just destiny. With the world on the brink of war, Charles and Erik struggle to cope with a psychic connection that may well be permanent.
Call Me By His Name – sinuous_curve
Summary: Charles wakes from the absence of noise.
There is an empty space in his room, beside his bed. Not quiet as in an abandoned room, but utterly, featurelessly blank. Like a box made of unblemished, impenetrable metal and Charles knows before he opens his eyes.
The Longest Word – septicwheelbarrow
Summary: "I'm Charles Xavier," he says, smiling from ear to ear. Then he gestures to his wheelchair. "Terminal spinal osteoblastoma, reaper due to collect in a year."
After some time, the man gestures at himself with a sardonic smile. "Same, one year. Lung." And then, reluctant, as if trying to keep his name to himself, "Erik."
I reject your reality and substitute my own. Doesn't really work that way, both ways.
Copy – chantefable
Summary: Charles wakes up without his memory. His sole caretaker, Erik, claims to be his husband, and tells him he's recovering from a car accident on their honeymoon.
Slowly falling for Erik again, Charles begins to regain his memories. He starts to notice strange things about his body, Erik, and their secluded mansion.
Myosotis – SomeCoolName
Summary: When Charles got back from Cuba, he lost the two things which made him stand: his legs and the love of his life, Erik Lehnsherr. Charles can get used to the wheelchair but he won't ever be able to get pass the loss of Erik.
"I wish I never met him" is something Charles says one night, maybe a bit drunk, absolutely wrecked for sure. It's a bit silly but Charles figures out his only solution is to use his own powers to erase Erik from his mind, progressively.
Except one day Erik comes back to the Xavier mansion to win him back. And even if Charles doesn't want to stop forgetting about him, Erik will do anything he can to convince him otherwise.
Das Haus am See – sareyen
Summary: The Lake House AU:
Erik is an estate planning lawyer who takes some time off to get away from the big city after his marriage fell apart. He lives in a picturesque lake house by Chautauqua Lake for almost two years, before moving back to New York City. This is in 2019.
Charles is a famous but very private author stuck in a creative rut, and moves to his lakeside estate for a short while to try and find a reason to write again. This is in 2017.
By magic or fate, Charles and Erik discover that the letter box at the lake house has the ability to send letters through time, between Charles in 2017 and Erik in 2019. Through letters that transcend the barriers of time, Charles and Erik fall in love. Charles vows to find Erik two years in his future, and Erik promises to wait for him. Two years - just two, meagre years.
But, fate is fickle, and time waits for no one.
Appropriate Boundaries – Yahtzee 
Summary: Charles has been having serious problems with back cramps in the year and a half since he's been in a wheelchair. His doctor prescribes massage therapy. But when Charles meets his masseur, Erik, in some ways they begin to heal each other. So how do you cross the boundaries between professional touch -- and the personal?
Unbound – Cesare, helens78
Summary: Thousands of miles apart, Erik Lehnsherr and Charles Xavier form a soulbond. But when that bond is severed five years later, they have to spend the next ten years trying to rebuild their lives alone.
Do You Love Me – cgf_kat
Summary: Charles and Erik have been married for 25 years, thrown together by a mandatory post-apocalyptic pairing system attempting to increase and strengthen the population. They have seven children. They have never spoken of love, but change is on the horizon.
A Quiet Riot – cloudstroke (aQuired)
Summary: Erik can't stand the fact that his father has brought home a boy less than half his age.
But mostly because he's madly in love with Charles Xavier himself.
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minesprout · 3 years ago
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On c!Dream’s Voice and Intentions
Alright, so cc!Dream is a good at voice acting his character. The emotions and liveliness he puts into his voice is really noticeable, and it pays off (I’ve already seen a compilation of Dream’s best voice acted lines from these streams.) But what about c!Dream, and his voice acting? It’s impossible to deny it exists. When c!Dream is caught up in the stress of escaping prison, his voice is in it’s most raw state. When he’s so close to freedom, there’s no point in keeping up any sort of pretenses. The pure shock at Techno appearing through the lava (which is a topic for another post), the frustration and panic when arguing with Techno about rescuing Ranboo, and his final lines before he runs off and Sam kills Ranboo are all relatively unfiltered. Even after the frantic escape has calmed down, Dream when interacting with just about everyone has the same tone of voice. When Techno asks Dream if he’s enjoying being free, Dream has genuine happiness and relief in his voice. It’s not something that can be faked, as he compliments the fresh air and says “I’m happy.” I’d compare his voice here to how Wilbur reacted upon being revived (The ‘My Sunrise’ Speech). This stands out significantly to Dream’s voice when speaking with Tommy. It’s not something new (he’s always had a rather affected voice when interacting with Tommy), and has been frequently referred to as his ‘lore voice’ or ‘creepy voice’. It has the same sort of energy that manhunt!Dream has when chasing someone down, “Come here, George!” or “Oh, Sapnap!” style. c!Dream’s cool and collected voice that he uses for Tommy when manipulating or toying with him is a mask. It’s falsely constructed confidence and rather lackidaisy, or it would be if not accompanied by c!Dream doggedly pursuing Tommy and attacking him.
What does that mean for c!Dream’s intentions? Well, this is where things get a bit more confusing. During Dream’s conversation with Tommy, Dream claims that he’s going to make Tommy’s life a living hell, and repeatedly kill and revive him. He also says that he plans on keeping this from the rest of the server, convincing everyone else that he’s “changed” when they will be none the wiser to what Dream is doing to Tommy. Considering everyone is an unreliable narrator, however, we the viewers have no idea how true this statement is. Taking into consideration that Dream is wearing his “playing with Tommy” mask when he says these lines, and that he’s given no intention of this being his plan when interacting with other server members with less of a persona in place, the validity of these claims is put into question. Is c!Dream actually planning on doing this, or is he just continuing to manipulate Tommy? Dream was definitely unwilling to be caught messing with Tommy, as seen by his sudden disappearance when Tommy ran to Phil for protection. Whether this proves Dream’s claims to Tommy are the truth are not, I think it’s too early to tell. The bottom line is that there’s a disconnect between Dream building a persona for himself, and stating what his intentions are. Plans stated from behind a constructed persona are much less trustworthy than what is said when genuinely, yet Dream’s words to Tommy while chasing him have yet to be contradicted. In the end, it’s a little too early to tell. c!Dream has given no hints as to what his plans are going forward. Does he plan on continuing his original goal of reuniting the server under his control, seeking specific revenge on those that harmed him, both, or neither? I suspect it will be a while before Dream’s true intentions are fully revealed, but I hesitate to believe that Dream is truly planning on just completely focusing on and terrorizing Tommy when he’s straight out of prison. That strong of an obsession doesn’t sit right with what we know of Dream’s character thus far. TL;DR: C!Dream has a strong ‘lore voice’ when talking with Tommy when compared to other conversations that makes what he says to c!Tommy less genuine (as it’s hidden behind a constructed persona) which puts into question c!Dream’s intentions for both Tommy and the rest of the server going forwards.
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cube-cumb3r · 3 years ago
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The Means Reflect On The Ends Actually, (c!Dream & the conditioning of Exile)
What was the point of exile, storywise? What does it say about c!Dream? Sure, it’s showcasing how far he’s willing to go to achieve his own ends, but I don't think all discussion about what exile tells us about c!Dream should start and end there.
Dream is not cruel for cruelty’s sake. Dream’s end goal is not to hurt as many people as possible. He views his cruelty are “necessary evils”, and he doesn’t dwell much on whether the things he does are “good” or “bad”. He’s fully aware he’s hurting people and he ultimately thinks that hurting people, to the extent that he does, is worth it. That being said, while Dream has an ends justify the means mindset, but the truth is, the means absolutely reflect on the ends. His true intentions aren’t a mystery, it’s very clear in the text that his ultimate goal is unity, but why does he want unity? And what would said unity entail?
(Before this essay starts I have to do an ad break to promo @daggryet's very helpful [transcriptions from the exile streams], which I'll be using a lot of. Thanks for the very helpful resource.)
TW: Relatively extensive discussion abt the abuse in exile arc & the effects of said abuse.
Firstly, I don't think you should deny his relationship to control. A through-line of his character is achieving harmony through control, and more specifically, obedience. There’s a reason why he tends to single out Tommy the most. It’s not actually because Tommy is remarkably more troublesome than anyone else on the server, but rather, because his disruptive nature is at Dream’s expense. Tommy is the only character who’s consistently over and over again refused to respect Dream’s authority, and though he isn’t particularly threatening on his own, it’s the sentiment itself that’s dangerous. Similarly, this is why he has consistently targeted L’manburg, moreso than any other faction on the server such as, say, Badlands, El Rapids. It’s almost as if they represented the sentiment, “Hey, why are we listening to you anyway? Why can’t we be listening to anyone else?”, which is why he crushed them, over, and over again. What if everyone figures out they can just stop listening to him? What then?
We talk a lot about the effects exile had on Tommy, and rightfully so, but we don’t talk enough about what Dream was actually doing. What was the purpose of exile? Was it just a way to get closer to the discs? Just a means to an end? What was the end?
TOMMY: What, what could you possibly want more from me? You’ve tortured me.
DREAM: I’m just keeping an eye on you, Tommy.
TOMMY: What does that mean?!
DREAM: I’m just, I’m making sure that you’re not up to no good.
TOMMY: But, how, you’ve exiled me, you fucking stupid, manipulative fucking green bastard!
DREAM: I know! And you know why I did that?
TOMMY: Yes? 
DREAM: No, you know why?
TOMMY: Why?
DREAM: Because you don’t listen to me ever, you’re the only person who doesn’t ever listen to me. If I tell you to do something, you’re like “no, fuck you!”, and you go and like do like the exact opposite.
[full transcription]
As much as I have to preface this with that this is speculative and we may not have any irrefutable confirmation, I think it's very likely that it's literally just what Dream is saying he's doing. Tommy is the one person who refuses to listen to him, and he wants him to listen. Exile was not only conditioning Tommy to believe that nobody other than Dream cares about him, not only conditioning Tommy to be entirely reliant on him, but also conditioning Tommy to listen to him, without question, without disobeying. And that is such a significant and reoccurring motif for it to arguably just be the intended reading of exile.
Abuse is a vague term that encompasses a lot of abusive practices. There are a good handful that apply to exile, I'm sure if you ask someone qualified they'll be able to provide you a nice handy list, but ultimately, all of them target Tommy's own sense of agency and autonomy, and it all revolves around power and control. Dream creates rituals purely to disarm him, threatens him and punishes him when he doesn't listen, and rewards him when he complies (or rather, conditions Tommy into thinking that not being punished is a reward).
TOMMY: [begins throwing his armor and axe down for DREAM to explode.]
DREAM: No, no, it’s fine.
TOMMY: Re-really?
DREAM: Yeah. Today’s the party, right?
---
TOMMY: So when can I- no, I wanna go back. I… hey, thanks for letting me keep my armour today.
DREAM: You’re welcome.
TOMMY: Kinda nice of you.
[full transcription]
Dream isn’t only hurting Tommy for the sake of hurting him. People tend to frame it as if Dream Just Hates Tommy, but that’s not true. He finds Tommy fun, in a twisted way. There are a lot of moments in exile where they’re both on very good terms and Dream is friendly with Tommy. But, it's also all part of horror of exile, making Tommy reliant on him and his company, getting him to doubt his sense of reality, making him question whether his friends back in L’manburg ever cared about him at all, and possibly questioning whether he’s imagining the abuse as well, Dream is so kind to him after all, why would he ever want to hurt him?
Over the course of exile Tommy agency and sense of self start to deteriorate as well as his mental health, he starts worrying about what Dream would think, starts asking Dream for permission, going out of his way to avoid upsetting him, his only friend, his only reliable caring companion.
TOMMY: Yeah, so I’m thinking we- and then I can- but the thing is; so recently my buddy, Dream, has been doing this thing where he, uhm… it makes sense, though, because I’m not in his land anymore, but he takes my shit from me, so I need to make sure- […]
---
RANBOO: Yeah, so what do you say- does Dream like take your armor? Is that what you said?
TOMMY: I don’t know, he just- hey man, I just follow the boss.
[full transcription]
TOMMY: “Visit Techno” no, no, what would Dream think? […]
---
TOMMY: I’ve had a little idea, by the way, and I wanna know what you think, and also if I’m allowed
DREAM: Okay?
[full transcription]
TOMMY: Yeah, I know he’s actually - he’s sort of my- he’s borderline my owner, Big Q, so I’m not really sure.
MEXICAN DREAM: He’s your dad?
TOMMY: No, no-
MEXICAN DREAM: Ey! Ey, Papa Thomas!
TOMMY: No, no, we’re- as in labor.
MEXICAN DREAM: You gotta teach your child some manners.
[full transcription]
Dream’s outburst in exile after finding Tommy’s chests, is arguably one of Dream's most emotionally honest (and reckless) moments in exile considering it was what made Tommy realize he needed to save himself and escape. And it's punishing Tommy for going behind his back and planning to revolt.
TOMMY: I’m really, no, I’m really sorry, though. Why don’t we just pretend this never- yeah, let’s, shall we just pretend this-?
DREAM: Sorry doesn’t cut it, Tommy. Listen, I’ll leave you here to think about what you did-
TOMMY: What about the nether? What about the nether, my friends, what-?
DREAM: No! You can’t go to the nether, no one can come here, you are alone, okay? As soon as I think that you have changed, have become somebody who isn’t going to hide and lie and try and revolt; then people can visit you again. You can go to the nether again. But for now - no, no one can. You- I was being very lenient. Yesterday I let you go into the Dream SMP on a temporary pass, and then what do I find out the next day?
TOMMY: I’m so sorry.
DREAM: I have been nothing but gracious to you. Tommy. Think about what you did.
---
Exile wasn’t only a means to getting closer to the discs or getting Tommy out of the way. Exile was a means to conditioning Tommy into listening and respecting Dream as his superior. Dreams solution to Tommy being disruptive and troublesome was to [physically beat], emotionally abuse, and psychologically condition him into obedience. Only seeing exile as a testament to how far how willing he was go to meet his ends is reductive, and not acknowledging what Dream considers to be a “problem” and what he considers to be “solutions” is to not engage with his worldview. You have to take exile into account and what it actually says about his ideals of harmony and unity.
---
TOMMY: I can’t go back… I can’t go back, and see my friends and see Tubbo. This is a shithole! He wasn’t- he wasn’t here ‘cause he was my friend. He was here to- what did he say on the first day? Got a little bug that he can’t flig off? I’m the only person who never does exactly what he says?
TOMMY: I’m the only person who never does what he says. Me! He said that to me, didn’t he?
TOMMY: He was here to watch me.
[full transcription]
Dream’s relationship to Tommy can (and honestly should) be compared to his relationship to the entire server at large. Not to imply that He Literally Wants To Abuse The Server, but rather the he views the server revolting as a problem, and the solution? Well. The [prison]. The hall of attachments. It’s no surprise that the disc war, a conflict that was initially only primarily between Dream and Tommy*, is suddenly about everyone. Bargaining and blackmailing using attachments, something Dream initially only subjected Tommy to, to keep him under his control, is now a means to control everyone.
Is Dream's goal of unity for the sake of the overall happiness and quality of life of the people living within said unity? I don’t doubt that this at some point in time was true. But, the fact that he’s willing to ruin lives and long-term psychologically destroy people over it, means that his goal isn’t unity for the sake of the people living in his ideal version of the server, but at their expense. Him believing he needs to control people to maintain unity and harmony means that he believes himself to know what's best for people moreso than the people themselves, and therefore he's the only one responsible enough to make decisions for them. And it also means that his motives has warped and twisted overtime, it’s likely that he’s become so fixated on the goal of unity itself that he’s lost track of why he wanted it in the first place.
Anyway. Stop buying into Dream's own self-justification of "ends justify the means" and put his deeply flawed and broken worldview and view of people under a little bit of goddam scrutiny.
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