#literally writing a tws series out of spite <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[miabucky]

they. they’re putting bucky in the evil knockoff avengers ? BUCKY. james buchanan barnes. agreed to work for some suspicious ass woman alongside John Goddamn Walker !??.? literally the most ooc shit i’ve seen since steve marrying peggy 💀 if he’s not there as a spy for cap that will be my final fucking straw

[mrdrhenwardhykle]

Guys just because Foxy.exe has some murder in it doesn't mean it's comparable to fetishizing grooming or rape!!!!

Yeah- I showed like one very detailed display of gore but it's really for one (three technically because it's a break between failures) segment/s. But just because I like playing with horror-doesn't mean it's comparable to me romanticizing gore because I'm not if you have any sense of media literacy! I said it before but I use gore for scenes that make the situation seem more dire- not just because I can.

There are worse examples like the infamous Urbanspook series "The Painter". It's similar in genre to what I do- but not similar in writing. UrbanSpook didn't take backlash well after not portraying child SA well, threw a fit because people didn't like it, put it on merch, didn't apologize, and then proceeded to make it worse out of spite; like for shock factor-heavily implying *SA TW* the killers forced a horse to rape a bound woman to death. There's no sympathy or build up put towards the woman, and it just describes something vile and disgusting to be vile and disgusting!

SA is literally terrible, and so many including myself fear it often. It's not just something to be dethatched to like being hunted by a Fox demon thing.

That was never the intention with my writing, as I don't want to shock the audience- I want to show them how tragic the situation these poor guys (and William) are found in- AND how merciless-un empathetic and intimidating the entity is. If I just showed gore after gore after gore while going in a circle the plot wouldn't go anywhere- like I said I have sympathy when writing the characters- and for the concept itself want the audience to sympathize with the characters.

Never EVER do I want to make the actions Foxy.exe does to them seem like something to root for or repeat, but rather something the audience wants to avoid to see how his marked targets make it out- if they can. Even to how I've described foXy and Leveret's relationship (Paralleled to Sonic.exe and his possessed and previously murdered partner in crime Sally_alt) - changed from the original inspiration, because I felt like showing Foxy force Bernadette in a relationship would be too dark to imply or gloss over, and I didn't want to even imply foXy doing things to her as it was unnecessary to his character and the plot itself!

Rape, grooming, and murder are actually separate things and not at all similar in writing. There's a reason why murder is more of a conflict in half of media than any of that junk

So literally stop fetishizing the images of kids getting hurt and trying to compare the dumb crap I do to it <3

since you like fictional murder then you are an irl murderer. FPS and GTA players are also murderers. Horror enthusiasts also condone murder. Only you, the “normal” one in the sea of “freaks” doesn’t. Isn’t that right?

Well alright, let's use our braincells here, okay?

When you say that I "like fictional murder" I assume that you're referring to me writing stories with darker themes.

Never ever do I myself say that I want to actually murder these characters. If you pay any lick of attention, you can catch me saying that I feel bad for characters in scenarios- and sometimes I try to push so the tragic event is avoided or seen in some sympathetic light. The basis of Foxy.exe is based on a very gore based Sonic Creepypasta called Sonic.exe, that leans more towards hopeless tales and yep you guessed it -torture porn-, but in most of my explanations of Foxy.exe I make it clear that there's ways to save these characters and that the gore will be minimal because I don't find the overuse of it necessary to the story. It's not torture porn, the concept is mostly in first person perspective, and it's about three poor souls attempting to escape an unpredictable entity. Most gore comes from the antagonist- as without an antagonist there's no story in this scenario!

Am I Pom Pom? No. Am I foXy? Also no.

When you're a proshipper, you're romanticizing, softening, and fetishizing scenarios that replicate real issues that happen. How much of an issue are killer Mascot Games? None. How much of an issue are demonic Fox entities that mark poor nightguards by getting them to play his arcade game? NONE.

But no, somehow because elements of murder are written into a story, that's comparable to someone publicly promoting grooming or rape which happens countless of times and is CONSTANTLY downplayed and not taken seriously which makes REAL PEOPLE'S lives more difficult.

When you say you want to rape something-especially if it's in the image of a child- you are saying you are wanting to rape a child. If you say that you find it cute when fictional fathers groom and touch their confused daughters, you are saying you enjoy watching innocent adults and/or children get groomed!!!!

If I said that I wanted to murder say Jeremy Fitzgerald badly, then yeah- I'd want to murder a guy- but I actually don't treat scenarios and writing like that + I don't write characters disrespectfully.

Yes, you can actually write these things into a story ***carefully*** and it would be clear that your intention is to make a cautionary and tragic point to the story. But you can also not treat it carefully and be like "This is John- he's 45 and rapes his daughter Jane on the basis, but their romance will get better ^w^" EVERYONE knows where your head's at. The audience will see and be affected with how you treat this, and YES- writing can normalize things in people's brains. Stories are literally so important to people that it doesn't just work to the point that one piece of media goes in one ear and comes out the other. People naturally stew and ponder- there's so many sources of evidence to how fictional stories affect society it's not made up.

Hope this helped!

[taetaesbaebaepsae]

BTS after a breakup

Hyung Line

Part 3 of 3: Reconciliation

Alternate Title: Fucking Finally

Alternate Title 2: Plot Twist, Yoongi is S O F T for Reader

Alternate Title 3: We Finally Find Out Why Any Bitch Would Break Up with J-Hope (It’s Anti-Climatic)

Warnings: A little angst, mild smut (I had to stop myself because look that’s not what this series is about), cursing, alcohol as a coping mechanism, mental illness tw,teeth-rotting fluff (Ya’ll just wait til I write the Maknae line and finally reward Tae for putting up with reader’s dumbass), Soft Yoongi, sweet Namjoon, Jin being cute af, Hobi gets his sunshine back

@toothpresent​ Here you go!

Word Count: 4,666

Namjoon (RM)

Namjoon tries so hard not to reach out to you other than that once a week

But honestly, after all the media pictures of you out with Hyunwoo and your phone conversation, he feels ten times worse

It isn't as if he's necessarily territorial but something about you being on dates makes this all seem way too real

He can't sleep that night for imagining all kinds of scenarios in which you get a new boyfriend and he's forced to just watch

Finally he gets kinda pissed off

It isn't fair that you were able to just fuck off when he was on tour and barely even talk to him

Thing is you and Hyunwoo are absolutely just friends

He's just a super sweet guy you know and he saw you at the supermarket and thought you looked sad so he took you for coffee to cheer you up

Literally that's it he texts you sometimes but it's totally platonic

Namjoon is thinking the worst imagining you having wild sex all over the hotel room you had gotten after you moved out

You'd given Namjoon the room number bc he claimed to want to bring a box of your things over

He shows up empty handed, looking painfully cute in a hoodie and jeans

He's biting the inside of his cheeks and anxious so you let him in

"I lied, there's no stuff. I just needed to see you."

His eyes are so soft when he looks down at you

He hasn't seen you in person since you left and his eyes are shining and wet

He's standing so close to you that you can smell his cologne and it's making you feel some type of way

Namjoon, never at a loss for words, seems like he wants to say something but he's quiet for a moment

"Joon?" You finally say because he's just staring at you

"I don't want to do this anymore,” he blurts out.

Before you can respond he finds his words and you can't help but smile at him pacing around the hotel room

"I don't wanna pretend to be noble and know you're doing the right thing for you by leaving. I don't want to stand by and watch you move on. I don't want to be apart from you anymore." He stops pacing and looks down at you again.

You sigh. "Joonie, nothing has changed. Nothing is different."

“You’re right. Nothing is different. You’re gone and I’m still doing everything I was doing but it all seems to mean absolutely nothing. I can’t celebrate success when I’m at home drinking two bottles of wine with dinner because I can’t stand being in our house without you. I can’t feel happy about anything, Jagi.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, and it’s true. You thought things would be better if you weren’t there to be needy and want more time with him. You thought if you weren’t fighting over petty things he’d be happier and you would too

But you just miss him

“And now you have some new boyfriend and I’m just supposed to be fine with it? I’m supposed to just live my life? I’m supposed to just casually scroll past articles about you moving on and just go to fucking work like I don’t feel like I’m underwater and my lungs are burning?”

He’s breathing hard and he’s taken a few steps toward you, crowding you

“I just thought it was the right thing to do, that we should just move on. You can do this without me, Joon. You’re strong.”

“You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t know I can do this without you? I don’t want to. I don’t ever want to do this without you, Jagi. I have been great about this. I have been a fucking saint, but I can’t sit there and just let you go without a fight.”

“So what do you want me to do, Joon?”

He sighs, exasperated. “It’s very simple. I just want you to come home.” 

“But what about-” 

He misunderstands what you’re about to say.

“I don’t even want to hear his name,” he growls, voice deep, eyes flashing. “I just want you to come home with me and we can forget any of this ever happened.”

You’re shaking your head. “That’s not what I want, Joon. If I were to come home, things would just go back to the way they were.”

He takes your shoulders in his hands, forcing you to look at him. “Jagi I promise you I will do absolutely everything I can to make things different. I’ll take more breaks, God knows I need them. I’ll fly you out with us when we’re on tour. I’ll buy you a fucking house in every city we go to if I have to.”

You look up at him, biting your lip, but you don’t speak.

He’s watching your mouth and when you don’t agree or disagree he makes a frustrated sound in his throat and leans down to kiss you

Namjoon talks a lot but at this point action is the only way he knows how to get his point across

His hands are all over you

He lies you down on the bed and makes love to you sweeter than he ever has before and when he moans in your ear instead of dirty talk it’s stuff like “I love you,” and “I missed you so much” and “you’re so beautiful” and “don’t ever leave me again, huh, Jagi?”

When it’s over you’re cuddled up with your head on his chest

“You know, Hyunwoo is just a friend. I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Now you fucking do.” 

You can’t help but laugh.

“So is it cool if I still go out to lunch with him sometimes?” 

“I don’t know, Jagi. If I see another article with a headline like ‘RM’s Girl Snuggling up to Monsta X leader’ I might throw my laptop out a window.”

You laugh again and when you look at him and see his dimpled smile things seem brighter than they have in a long time

Jin

Jin is the most mess out of all four of the hyung line

After you said that mean shit to him outside the cafe at first he’s bent on revenge and he hangs out with every female friend he has where the reporters can snap pictures

He plans to be flirty and charming but he ends up just asking for advice about what to do about you

They actually give him lowkey good advice

Even the ones that are mad attracted to him (who isn’t) just listen and tell him what they think 

Everyone wants Jin happy lbr

He’s just a sad pouty puppy and everyone wants the smile back on his face

The headline that catches your eye is “BTS Jin Seen Being Comforted by Unknown Female” and it’s a picture of Jin in a ball cap and face mask with his head in his hands and a girl with her hand on his shoulder

You’re not jealous, just kind of proud that he doesn’t seem to be flirting or out to get revenge 

Jin sees it and groans

Even the reporters are against him (Jin, you idiot, they’re doing you a favor)

You still won’t talk to him, though, and he’s still watching your pictures on the media and you’re hanging out with Changkyun all the goddamn time and he’s sick of it

He wakes up one morning to see a pic of you on your snapchat from the night before at a club with Changkyun with his arms wrapped around your waist and you doing a kissy face at the camera

God he hates you sometimes but you’re so fucking cute

He’s just like. D O N E

He gets dressed, throwing on day old jeans and a white t-shirt and goes to your sister’s house

You hear him arguing with her as you come out of the bathroom

You were getting ready to go out but you haven’t had time to do your makeup yet before you hear his voice

Jin and your sister had been friends before you’d ever met him and he’s giving her hell about something

She had actually introduced you 

“Damnit, if you don’t let me in I swear I’ll tell your husband about that guy who gave you a lapdance the night before your wedding-”

“Jin, you wouldn’t-”

You peer around the corner and he’s got his phone out, eyebrows raised

Jin:

Your sister sighs deeply and lets him in

“Asshole.”

“Bitch,” Jin says fondly, and pats her shoulder as he walks past, looking for you

Your sister gives you a pleading look and you smile at her to let her know it’s okay

His face softens when he sees you, freshly washed and bare faced and you look so good his heart aches

“Hey,” you say, not really knowing what else to say

“Hey,” he says back, uncharacteristically bashful

You let him in the guest room and he sits down on the bed, fiddling with his fingers

“So...what’s up?” You ask, waiting patiently for him to say something

“Not much...I just...wanted to talk to you for a minute.”

“I feel like we said everything we needed to at the cafe, right?”

“I didn’t,” he protests, and he’s looking up at you with such a kicked puppy look that you can’t say anything cruel

“So? Spill.”

He takes a deep breath. “Look, y/n, I know things have been shitty lately.”

“Understatement.”

He nods in agreement. “And I...I was being an idiot when I called and accused you of seeing someone else.”

You nod. “Yeah. You were.”

He sets his jaw. “However, you are seeing him like every five minutes now, so I feel like I had a right to be worried.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “Maybe. So?”

He makes an irritated clicking sound in the back of his throat and stands up, coming toward you

“So, I want you back home,” he says simply, searching your eyes

“Why? So you can leave me on tour and flirt with a hundred girls while I sit around and wait for you?”

“No! No. Sure, I flirt, it’s who I am. You’re a bigger flirt than I am!”

He’s right, but that doesn’t mean you have to like it

“Thing is, though, I tried to go out and flirt to spite you.”

“Oh, real mature.”

He hums an agreement. “Well, you said some cruel shit, y/n. It hurt.” He placed a hand over his heart and you’d think he was trying to be funny but there really is hurt in his dark eyes

“So how’d the flirting go? Make any progress?” You can’t help the bitterness in your voice

He shakes his head. “Absolutely none. Know why?”

You shake your head.

“Because I’m heartbroken.”

You scoff. “Jin, it’s not the time to be funny.”

“I’m not being funny! There’s nothing funny about this. I keep trying to play it off but sweetheart, I’m a mess.” 

“You are?” You are hopeful, looking up and him, because God, you’ve been a mess too as much as you’ve managed to not look like it

“Huge mess. Huge. I’m just lying in bed all day fucking moping around. I’m not even wearing makeup lately all my fans are complaining.”

“No one is complaining, Jin.”

His lips perk up at one corner. “I know, I know. I was born this gorgeous.”

You roll your eyes but he’s getting closer to you and sliding his arm around your waist and God you missed this, your big handsome dork

“I’m sad. I’m sad all the time and I couldn’t even make bad jokes to charm my friends. My new nickname is ‘Sad Sack Hyung.’ It’s bad.

You laugh at him and he puts his hand on your face, smiling at you and he looks so soft

“God, I missed your laugh,” he says, peppering kisses on your jawline

You heave a deep sigh and your arms go around his neck slowly and he buries his face in your neck

“Can we be done with this? Can we just be done and go back home?”

You’re quiet for a moment.

“Maybe,” you say stubbornly and he hugs you tighter.

“Come on, Jagi. I’ll make food.”

“Bribing me with food?”

“It’s never steered me wrong before,” He’s murmuring against your neck and you are getting goosebumps

Your phone starts ringing on the dresser and you jump a little

You snake your hand out to look at it and Changkyun is calling since you’ve been going out for coffee once or twice a week

He just got cheated on by his long time girlfriend and you were really just drinking buddies, bitching about your exes

You’re all talk, you’re still crazy about Jin

Jin pulls away from you and frowns

“Don’t you dare answer it.”

You push him back and walk a few steps away, answering your phone and saying just a few short words to your friend

He knows instantly what’s going on after the cafe debacle 

Jin crosses his arms, pouty

He’s S A L T Y

You hang up and turn back to Jin. 

“So what are you going to make me?”

His face brightens a little but he doesn’t uncross his arms. “Was that him?”

“You’re cute when you’re jealous, you know.”

“I don’t get jealous. I’m just curious,” he grumbles

“Sure, sure.”

His eyes shoot to yours and he’s serious all of a sudden

“So like, we’re back together, right?’

You smile at him. “I guess so.”

“Okay. Delete his number. Right now. I wanna see you do it.”

You burst out laughing and he doesn’t think it’s funny

All the way back to the house you’ve shared for two years he’s bitchy and grumbling

He’s like madder and madder because you just keep laughing at him

When you walk in the door he kind of slams it open and you just walk past him, shaking your head and putting your things down

“I’m serious! I don’t want you seeing him anymore. I can’t deal with you hanging out with some guy you used to fuck, Jagi-”

You cut him off by throwing your arms around him and kissing him, hard, and he moans into your mouth and melts into you

He pulls away first. “Don’t distract me. I’m mad at you,” but he’s smirking at you

“I didn’t fuck anybody, dumbass. He’s just a friend.”

“What?” He’s incredulous. “You really made me think you were fucking someone else all this time? I wasted so much time freaking out! We really just could’ve been back together all this time?” He’s going on a whole rant and you’re just giggling at him

“I’m sorry. I thought you really were with that girl, and I just...I wanted to get you back. I wanted to hurt you because I was hurt.”

“You fucking succeeded,” he said, voice low, and you can tell he actually is mad

His arms are still loose around you and you drag your nails across his bare forearms and kiss his neck 

When he shivers you know he’s done for

You don’t quite make it to the bedroom upstairs and he fucks you midway up the stairs with your legs around his shoulders

It’s hot but it’s sweet he’s saying all the right things about how it’s only ever been you, you’re the love of his life

You’re both hangry by the time you get through and you end up ordering takeout and watching Netflix with your legs in his lap, him trailing his fingers up and down your thighs

It’s like it never happened, and sure you’re both insecure, jealous morons, but you’ll make it work

Yoongi (Suga)

Yoongi has a lot of pride and it’s tough for him to express how he feels to you

This is something you’ve always known and dealt with and you’ve been a fucking saint about it, in your opinion

So when he went full caveman mode at your friend’s house, you were d o n e

Not that it mattered, you knew he’d avoid you like the plague after an outburst like that

You were actually 100% dead wrong because like 4 hours later he’s blowing up your phone with text messages

At first it’s casual just like “hey”

When you don’t respond in five minutes it’s “you really dating that guy”

Then an hour later it���s “I’m sorry” and that’s when you know he’s probably super drunk

He’s not real big on apologies, your man

You hear your best friend cooing over Chanyeol’s swollen nose in the other room and you wince a little

This is a whole mess

But he’s texting you more than he has in like the last six months so you can’t help but respond

“where are you?”

“home. u coming?”

You don’t answer and when you knock on the door (which feels weird, since it’s been your house for like 2 years) he just yells for you to come in

He’s sitting in the dark on the couch like a psychopath

Like no lights on but the dim light of his laptop sitting by him on the couch

When you walk over warily he kind of jerks out and grabs your hand and pulls you down onto his lap and you let out a little scream 

“You’re not scared of me, are you, baby?” He asks against your neck, pulling you close to him, and his voice is low and miserable

You let yourself relax a little in his arms. He smells like beer and cigarettes but it’s still so familiar

“Of course not, Yoongi.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers against your throat, nuzzling you there, and he’s been so rarely affectionate in these past few months that you are shocked but grateful

You try to pull away to look at him but he won’t let you

“I’m just trying to talk to you, Yoongi, let me go.”

“No,” he says stubbornly, tightening his arms around your waist

You finally wriggle out of his grasp enough to pivot on his lap to see his face and he’s been crying and it makes you s o f t

You’ve always known that Yoongi loves you, he shows it with little actions and words but God knows you’re starving to know he cares in the last few months

You barely talked to him even when he was on tour, and you know that stress makes him distant but you were just aching for something just like this, just for him to give a shit after you left

He sniffs and jerks his chin up at you

“Did I break his nose?” he asks, voice petty 

You take in a deep breath. “No, but it was a near thing. You’re such a jerk.”

He shrugs. “I am sorry about the flowers.”

“Yeah, me too, they were a bitch to clean up.” 

“I mean, I’m sorry about the note.”

“You mean, calling me a brat?” 

He frowned. “No. You are a brat.” 

You hit his shoulder with the heel of your hand

“I just mean it didn’t say what I really meant.”

“Which is?”

“Don’t make me say it.”

“Yoongi, if you don’t, I’m gonna walk out of here.”

He takes in a deep breath and hugs you tighter to him, resting his chin on your shoulder

“You’re a brat but I want you to be my brat.” 

“Oh yeah?” Your voice is soft. You’re soft for him, you can’t help it

He nods against your shoulder, chuckling when you squeal because it tickles

“I guess I like you.”

“Lots of people like me. Chanyeol likes me,” you tease, and you squeal again when he growls and bites your shoulder gently

“I’m in love with you, brat.”

You:

He says “I love you” all the time but for some reason the “in love” thing just really gets you in your feelings

You’re quiet for a moment, being emo

“So are you coming back home, now?”

When you don’t answer right away he hugs you tighter

“Please?”

You:

You twist your head around to kiss him and when you pull away he’s all smiles

“We can get my stuff from y/bf/n’s later. You can apologize to poor Chanyeol.”

He scoffs. “Why would he be there? Waiting around on you?”

“No, you moron, because he’s her boyfriend. He fucking lives there.”

You laugh at the look on his face and he scrunches his nose at you flips you onto your back on the couch, touching his nose to yours

“You really are a brat for not just telling me that!”

You shrug. “Maybe you deserved it.”

“I almost had a heart attack worried about you with someone else. You’re a jerk. I don’t like you anymore.” He’s grumbling but he’s still smiling, giving you eskimo kisses, and you L O V E it

“Yeah, but you’re in love with me.” You’re grinning ear to ear.

“Yeah, whatever, brat.”

He kisses you senseless for hours, just making out and for the next few days he’s never not touching you, even holding your hand while he works on his laptop or rubbing your thigh when he’s eating dinner

He’s a grumpy jerk sometimes but you’re so fucking in love with him and now that you’re sure he feels the same way even though you’re an annoying brat life might just be perfect

Hoseok (J-Hope)

You come to him, because he’s given you time and space and you feel like he at least deserves an explanation

It’s been a full week since you’ve left

When he hears the key in the door he’s like a puppy, bouncing around as you come in the door, and before you can put your luggage down his arms are tight around you

Visual representation of Hobi as you come in:

You can't help but smile

He can almost always make you smile

“Baby, my bags-” you choke out, arms shaking at holding all your stuff because he’s got his arms under your elbows, hugging you

“Oh! I’m sorry, sunshine!” He takes your bags and throws them down unceremoniously

He’s grinning a mile wide

“You’re home!”

You smile weakly. “I was hoping it’d be okay if I could stay here for a little while.”

His face falls. “Sunshine, this is your home. Our home.”

You fiddle with the plastic bracelet on your wrist and Hobi’s not normally super observant but he notices. He grabs your wrist and gives you a confused look

“Sunshine, are you sick? What is going on? Will you please talk to me?” 

He’s talking so fast, rapid fire questions, and you feel a little overwhelmed

“Can we sit down?”

He ushers you to the couch, hovering over you as if he wants to touch you but isn’t sure if he should

You sit down and he’s looking at you, worried and expectant

“I’ve been having some...issues lately.”

“Jin told me that you called him about it. Why didn’t you tell me, sunshine?”

You sniffle, tears burning at the back of you eyes

“I was just...I was so sad all the time. For no reason. Of course I missed you, but that was nothing new. I always miss you when you’re away. I went to see someone...I had kind of a...breakdown.”

“Sunshine-” His voice is so soft, in a whisper, brows furrowed

“I was diagnosed with bipolar depression. I was...suicidal. I had all these thoughts, these horrible thoughts about how you’d be better off without me, everyone would, I was just a burden and bringing you down.”

He’s shaking his head vigorously but for once, he’s speechless.

“I stayed for a week and got the right meds. I know that a chronic illness is something that’s really hard to deal with, and I just don’t want to burden you with that. I know how important your music is to you and I just...I wanted to leave before things got bad.”

You’re crying in earnest now and he slides closer to you, gently taking your hand and you look at him. Tears are streaking down his cheeks

“Sunshine....I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave like that I just...I couldn’t tell you.”

“I’m just so sorry that you felt you couldn’t tell me that. I must be the world’s worst boyfriend for you to be suffering so much...” He’s crying so hard that he’s shaking and you squeeze his hand.

“You’re so perfect, baby. Just so happy and perky and I knew that this would be so hard for you. I just want you to be happy and I know that I can’t do that for you anymore. I couldn’t tell you how weak I was.”

“Weak?” He looks almost mad. “Weak? You’re the strongest person I know. You light up everything. Everything. You were suffering so much and you managed to keep it together, to get yourself help - that’s the strongest thing I can think of.”

“I just couldn’t imagine that you’d want me like this.”

He is mad, now, you can see it spread all over his face and he takes your cheeks in his and forces you to look right at him

“Sunshine I’d want you anyway I could have you, but this only makes me want you more. I am so sorry that you’ve had to do this alone and I swear to you that if you let me, I’ll do better. I’ll be here for you. I’ll take more breaks and I’ll call you every single day. I’ll make you trust me.”

Your heart is so full you think you might die

He is perfect, he calls you sunshine but really he’s yours, he’s lighting up all the dark parts of you now that you’re not hiding them from him

You jump at him, straddling his hips and hugging him as tight as you can

“I do trust you, baby. I love you so much and I’m so sorry I’m like this.”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” he breathes into you neck. “You did what you needed to do and I promise to spend the rest of my life making you happy.”

You cry for a while, huddled in his arms and he just hums against your neck, soothing you by stroking your hair, and when you pull away you’re smiling

“I missed your smile, sunshine,” he says, and you kiss him and kiss him and kiss him until your lips are swollen

You spend all night talking and he touches you so gently, almost reverently

Things are hard for a while, he treats you like fine china, like you might fall apart at any second

He doesn’t even ask you about Jackson but he gets this anxious look in his eye when Jackson calls or texts you

You notice and explain to him that nothing is going on

He tells you it’s not like he’s jealous, he just feels awful that you had to turn to someone that wasn’t him during a hard time

You prove to him that was your decision and your insecurities, and after time, he doesn’t even blink when you say you’re going out to lunch with your ex 

He keeps his word and talks to you every day, even when he’s thousands of miles away

You call him when you’re having a bad day, break down and cry and tell him all the awful things you’re thinking

He listens to you, soothes you, distracts you by asking you to help him with song lyrics

He writes a song called “Sunshine” and never releases it, only does it for you, sends you a video of it when he thinks you might feel down

He’s absolutely perfect

He’s everything you need and he accepts you, flaws and all, and you’re the luckiest girl in the world