#literally took me two hours to find a happy song wtf i need to sleep and drink some water and to have some kind of structure

[lolacouldnotcareless]

Tagged by this sweet @isthisatlantis, thank you dear 🧡🎶

Rule: you can only repeat one artist and only one time, so we can all kind of spread new music to the people we tag. Try to listen to at least one of the songs people rec here.

1) one song you loved the first time you listened to and never got tired of?

warmth - bastille (orchestral version)

2) one song you cry every time you listen or makes you emotional?

love of my life - queen. it’s ridiculous. i still get teary, and there’s still, you know, something blocked in my throat when i sing it for goddamn’s sake. i’m not even in love (to my knowledge, which doesn’t say much), never have felt as strongly romantically speaking for someone else. and here i am, tears streaming down my face, feeling as if i had been broken in so many tiny pieces. that’s why i’d like to slow-dance in the arms of my partner (who hasn’t made theirself known to me yET) (what do you mean i have to be social pls don’t) on that song. (yes i’m single and all i want is to be held and to hold someone in my arms and just be at peace with each other. damn i feel pitiful. you know i half regret writing this bc it’s so close to my heart but if i erased everything now i’d feel strangely dishonnest so can we ignore this and go to the next song thanks)

3) one song that always makes you happy/smile?

hope world - j-hope. i tried but i literally couldn’t think rn of any other song that, despite the smile, didn’t make me go ouch at the same time, as in this example: 曲尽陈情 / qu jin chen qing - xiao zhan.

4) one song that you would dedicate to your best friend and/or your family?

maisie peters - take care of yourself (acoustic version). 

5) one song with a production (the sounds, the beat, the mood) you love?

the night before - hooverphonic

6) one song with perfect, amazing, outstanding lyrics?

l’assasymphonie - mozart l’opéra rock. listen. i’m not a fan of how french generally sounds when sung. but. those lyrics. not only they’re actually well-written, they actually sound good. i once spent a whole evening/night analysing the structure and sounds of the lyrics as one does, just to understand why it sounded so good to my ears. and there are so many songs that i love the lyrics from, that i think they are outstanding in their meaning and construction, but few things can top a french song with well-written, well-structured lyrics that are a real pleasure to listen to. (bts absolutely can but i need them elsewhere) well all of that to say that it’s nice to have good lyrics but they need to sound beautiful too lol. i’m sorry for rambling so much on that matter. it’s just the literature student who has two classes dealing with poetry this semester jumping out. if you need a translation hmu lol

7) one song that you would recommend to anyone?

lullaby for a cat - epik high (unedited version)

8) one song you don’t understand why you like so much but you do anyway?

fire - wang yibo. i don’t understand. still the first song i listen to while house cleaning or some shit. still singing it at the top of my lungs. still don’t understand why i like it so much, he has better songs. still.

9) one song that you think people in general wouldn’t like but you do?

marieke - jacques brel (the version entirely in dutch). once upon a time i knew it all by heart. now i’m afraid that my very small graps of dutch language has desintegrated itself because i literally haven’t used it for the last 6 years.

10) one song people normally like and you don’t like or hate?

señorita - camila cabello & shawn mendes. tbh idk if people really liked this song but i used to hear it everywhere and absolutely hated it. i don’t like anything about it. it’s visceral. can’t explain.

11) one song you would call a masterpiece?

spring day - bts. this song has everything. it’s been years and still. it still makes me emotional, i can still feel the longing, the lyrics are nothing but perfection, it’s one of the songs i sometimes sing the melody to myself without noticing when i’m simply happy. i cry, i smile. it’s so calming in a way, like a balm on a injury, on a scar. and i love the melody so much.

12) one song you recently (last 30 days max) discovered and really liked it?

迎刃 toward the blade - zhou shen. absolutely love his voice.

13) one song you listen to to get pumped like you wanna tear down the fucking government or something?

thnks fr th mmrs - fall out boy.

i tag: @sarebellion, @ivy-lavender, @theadventuresofadreamer, @rasgullaa, @ephemeralsolitude, @nurnocheinkeks, @jiminielatte, @everythiiingoes, @shadowhunterboysya, @tardis--dreams, @vtae-hyungs, @imspartawssem, @lenaferever

[reversecreek]

pops hip n winks at the dash. haaaaiiii. me again. i’ve honestly missed playing lana fr a while she’s one of. my most treasured muses bc she’s jst a silly n vivacious ball of sunshine or alternatively? a train wreck depending on which way u turn her in the light..... i actually hv two playlists made fr her n one is rly old bt it’s more like. songs that Remind me of her which u can find here n then here is more like. stuff u’ll most often catch her blasting on her record player as she dances around in her underwear w the curtains open. OH and here is her pinterest 🍓⚡

* kristine froseth, cis female + she/her  | you know lana jameson, right? they’re twenty-three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, a few hours? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to play that funky music by wild cherry like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole cherry red gym socks worn with nothing else, doodling penises in the condensation of a stranger’s car window, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘scrappy doo is a filthy slut’ thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is june 2nd, so they’re a gemini, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her  )

HISTORY:

lana grew up in a big house in albany, NY. i picture it w dark oak floors n lots of light furniture. albums framed on walls. mayb some rolling stone covers too frm way bk when of the bands her dad’s label signed. kind of like… a rock star palace w no evidence of children at all. i think i described it best in one of lana’s self paras once when i said the garden ws “as big as it was unloved”

lana’s mum victoria (vic) ws a music journalist w a pretty fruitful career ahead of her when she met lana’s dad richard (rich). his record label ws jst starting out, founded on the coattails of his wealthy best friend’s (jensen peters) investment w his other best friend (who he jst calls knoxville). it rocketed to success when they signed poppy injects, a rock band w an electric stage presence, n vic ws drawn to the glitz n glamour of a man tht ws at the helm of his aspiring industry. their love ws very impulsive, all or nothing right frm the start, n it ws almost like she ws mre in love w his accomplishments n what he represented than him.

(DRUGS TW) anyway so jameson records repped a few rock bands bk in the eighties, altho poppy injects r who they’re mostly known fr, namely bc of hw brightly they crashed n burned. they were a big chart success bt the lead singer hd quite an intense struggle w heroin (wsnt rly subtle abt it either while he ws in the public eye as u cn probably imagine frm such an on-the-nose band name) n he ws always in n out of the papers. it eventually brought down his career n it ws a big publicity nightmare

lana pretty much… grew up around figures like this throughout childhood. real characters who wld kind of… b extremely volatile n destructive abt their troubles. the jameson house was an open one as welcoming clients went n a lot of parties took place there. a lot of the time musicians wld b snorting lines in the kitchen when she wnted to grab a bowl of cereal fr breakfast n it was just. a very strange environment fr a child to grow up in. more zoo than home. more shaken snow globe than resting place. (END OF TW)

(ABORTION REFERENCE) her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her much. her older brother caleb ws unplanned bt they sort of welcomed the surprise more bt… quickly realised they weren’t cut out fr parenthood n then when lana came as another surprise 3 yrs later they didn’t even try to hide their resentment abt the situation. her mum ws actually booked in to have an abortion bt cldnt go through with it at the last minute. once when lana ws a kid she asked her why she’s so cold towards her she jst turned her head frm her dresser, looked at her, told her abt this n said “idk why i didn’t go”. lana didn’t kno wht to say to tht so she jst left her room n closed the door (END OF REFERENCE)

(DISSOCIATION TW) bc of the intensity of her parents ignoring her growing up lana adopted this sense of like…. she didn’t rly kno what it ws bt it ws a delusion of sorts where she thought she ws a ghost bc she gt this strange outside feeling. she’d jst sort of… drift around the halls w no-one acknowledging her n sometimes she ws jst convinced she wsnt actually there or they cldnt see her n she ws jst haunting the house frm a previous family. (END OF TW) her imagination festered an explanation out of smthn she didn’t understand essentially. lana used her imagination to do this a lot growing up. it ws kind of like the band aid she slapped over everything. after all she wasn’t alone if she was sword fighting imaginary pirates dwn the hallway with a poker from the fireplace. 

the one saving grace tho tht sort of?? gt her thru this n made her feel Seen ws caleb. lana quite genuinely hs always thought the sun shines out of her older brothers ass like she jst thinks. he’s the best person in the entire world. wld b rly bewildered if anyone questioned tht. he wld always look out for her n cut the crusts off her sandwiches (he’d cook fr them most of the time bc their parents were too busy/didn’t care to) n sometimes wld even sleep at the bottom of her bed curled up like a guard dog. it ws always lana n caleb n his best friend tommy against the world in tht house (tommy lived next door bt was always over bc he had very strict parents tht he found suffocating)

(ARMY MENTION) SO when tommy announced tht he’d signed up to the army (bc of pressures from tommy’s military dad to fulfil some kind of stupid “legacy” tommy didn’t even care abt) n caleb said he was going with him lana ws understandably…….. completely blindsided. she ws rly upset tht they were leaving n was kind of like “wtf why are u doing this like what do u even think this is gna solve” etc n begged caleb not to leave her there on her own n jst to not sign up in general bc tommy had to bt he didn’t listen. 

ERM i won’t go into it but it didn’t turn out well as u can probably imagine bc the army is a terrible industry n caleb had to return home without tommy. he wasn’t the same after that. (END OF MENTION)

what’d been a rly close relationship before where he ws basically like a surrogate father figure to lana was Not there any more. he ws rly withdrawn n always pushing her away n snapping at her for the sake of getting her to leave him alone. on top of this lana had a lot of shit go down while he was away n rly just shouldn’t have been a kid alone in tht house. regardless lana thought if she kept grinning as wide as she cld she’d convince caleb to join in too. maybe if she seemed fine n happy he’d take the lead. maybe she’d believe it too n start to feel it n everything could go bk to how it was before her world became so different. lana liked the way the sky flipped when she tipped her head back on the swings bt this was different. everything was upside down bt this didn’t make her belly feel like she’d swallowed a butterfly and it wasn’t funny bt still, she kept laughing. always desperate to find something to laugh at n if she couldn’t find it she invented it. as long as ur laughing the world can’t b that bad.

she ws always well liked in school bc she jst tended to treat everyone like they were bffs no matter who like u cld have literally bumped shoulders w her once in the corridor n she’d be like OMG HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII let’s kiss<3 n like she ws a huge notorious flirt w any n all as well as incredibly impulsive n jst. wild honestly to put it simply too bt things like. changed a bit frm 16 onwards. (HYPERSEXUALITY & IMPLIED TRAUMA TW) she jst became far more reckless honestly n like....... jst didn’t rly seem to care after a certain point abt herself too much.... got herself in a bunch of bad situations.......... kind of jst flung herself to the wolves numerous times without any caution abt the way they’d bite. formed a lot of self destructive habits one of which ws cruising craigslist personals fr random hook-ups n like. she literally cld have wound up in a ditch somewhere honestly it’s a shock she hasn’t. despite various dips n inclines in her journey navigating this side of her it’s very much still present in her life to this day n she struggles to kno hw to control herself at points. sometimes she feels like a melting candle tht needs moulding by thumbs until it can form a person again. sometimes she’s only sure she’s real when she’s being touched. (END OF TW)

ANYWAY. laughs nervously. went to college to study dance bc she’s always loved dance in general bt specifically ballet (despite definitely not hving the discipline for it) n honestly this was both good n bad fr her. had a whole string of terrible heartbreaking relationships bc she tends to fall into those hard n fast n they were w a lot of bad people fr like 98% of the time. she kind of learned more abt what love is during her time there tho which is a gd thing bt she still isn’t very good at knowing hw to believe she deserves it so it’s a process. she hd fun tho. threw 498572598475 outrageous n elaborately themed parties. ws friends w pretty much everyone on campus. 

despite a strained relationship w her brother n having to go home to visit n check on him whenever he got rly bad it ws the first time it actually felt like she’d found a home in a lot of rly loving n genuine friendships n lana will never forget hw much that experience meant to her even if she definitely struggled there too. college felt like a place she belonged n then suddenly she couldn’t belong there any more n there was a big sense of floundering in that. like where do u go now when u’ve never known home elsewhere? how do u happily go out into the world if it means leaving ur world behind?

she applied to a dance company in LA n fell in w a pretentious art scene there full of wannabe andy warhols n the like. became a makeshift edie sedgwick to some guy w dyed white hair n the idea his every concept was revolutionary when rly he jst shot her dancing barely clothed splashing around in a random fountain in his friend’s mansion on an ancient film camera. she’d spend her days floating around on lilo’s and prancing in feather boas and racing with glitter leftover frm last night in her leotard w smudges of faint red lipstick to barely make her job on time. always a sexy train wreck bt this time? make it hollywood. 

(IMPLIED ALCOHOLISM TW) i won’t lie to u lana hs always partied way too hard bt then partying way too hard turned into slurping merlot thru a crazy straw shaped like a flamingo at 4 in the afternoon wearing penis novelty sunglasses n it wasn’t quite so much of a party when u were doing it on ur own. this rly snowballed into place in college bt carried on n wound up getting her fired from the dance company bc she turned up to rehearsals drunk one too many times n they didn’t allow fr sloppiness like tht. it was a “professional operation” that didn’t “accept that kind of behaviour” bt lana was jst like ummmmmmmmm that’s totally dramatic btw way to spank me in the town square like i’m gale w a raw ass n back in the hunger games bt ok sure i’m out ig. BOOP! (literally booped the director on the nose before leaving) (END OF TW)

honestly hd no idea what to do w herself after her job fell thru in LA n was pretty embarrassed actually upon sobering up the nxt day. cldn’t bring herself to tell her friends for a hot minute bc she felt like a failure or smthn n she was meant to be living this glamorous life out there being the classic wild n silly n fun Lana Jameson. cldn’t figure out how to repackage it into a funny story tht wouldn’t worry ppl. eventually wound up jst caving n telling her closest besties (shoutout freya n rosa) bc she ws hving a weird time dating losers n randomly living in LA even tho she didn’t kno why she was there any more after losing the job n they were jst like. fk it then. jst come here. we’re in irving. and so? mizz jameson packed her bags....

PERSONALITY:

always smells vaguely of wild cherries or strawberry starburst or jst the candy aisle in general. if she ws a vinyl record she’d b this one n she’d only play good vibrations by the beach boys, dancing on my own by robyn, play that funky music by wild cherry, femme fatale by the velvet underground n (i can’t get no) satisfaction by the rolling stones

the jameson family r pretty well off n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. mostly kids of celebrities n stuff like tht. she amassed a bit of an instagram following #nepotism bt also fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects. lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, bright red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights, holographic stickers of planets on her cheek n glitter used like highlight, 90% of the time a red lip) n bc she’s not gna make ur eyes bleed to look at or anything let’s b real

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. knew everyone n everyone knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once.

deliberately puts on tht kind of Magnetic Alluring Act tht femme fatales wear in movies w most ppl. kind of…. is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as. hates being sad n always wnts to be happy / making ppl happy. chameleons to situations. feels like she’s performed as the vivacious n fun loving Lana Jameson fr so long tht she doesn’t rly kno who she is beneath tht bt she isn’t too keen to find out. sometimes gets glimpses n feels the urge to close her eyes.

she’s always been rly spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand ridiculously absurd n chaotic stories. she’s like oh ya this one time this guy made me ride him with a daddy saddle like i was woody and he was bullseye. he literally made me call him bullseye. or she’s like. oh ya once i had to run barefoot thru a cabbage patch bc this one farmer wanted to have a threeway w me n my friend tht we met off craigslist n every framed photo in his house was a pig dressed up in cosplay bt honestly they were kind of cute n he was sexy aside frm the murderous vibes n the fact he kept calling me babe which i’m pretty sure means he wanted to dress me up next bt like whatever honestly.... she tells jst the most batshit stuff n the person she’s telling it to is left blinking like. wtf.

uncontrollably flirty. insanely confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n will try. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine.

likes to roller skate n hs a red pair she’ll glide around in at night lit up by amber street lamps breath sticky w the taste of wine n lollipops probably heading to a random hookups. who needs ubers?

always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. honestly likes dangling her whole body halfway out too. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s sour haribo cherries or strawberry lollipops.

luvs bowie (ONLY aesthetically) n prince (wholeheartedly) n madonna (completely) n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think.

daisies n poppies r her fav flowers bc daisies r wild n overlooked n poppies r the first thing u look at in a green field. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. honestly it’s like a burning train wreck but u can’t quite tear ur eyes away. often the heart of many sordid gossip scandals.

PLOTS:

TBA bc she’s only jst arrived in town i won’t lie to u all but i’m gna whip things up on here anyway n link in chat w updates at some point........ that said? lana is insatiable n it isn’t rly unlikely tht she cld’ve bumped into ur muse in a grocery store aisle n somehow a wild spontaneous adventure spawned frm that alone.......... if u have any immediate ideas we can discuss 😋

[avmisworld]

Jungkook as your boyfriend:

●     Y'all know Jungkook is MAJOR bf material

●     The cutest bean uwu

●     At the start of your relationship he was probably a bit awkward

●     The poor guy is so inexperienced he forgot what it's like talking to a girl who isn't doing his makeup lol

●     Is scared to do something you won't like so he's always really careful with his words and actions

●     Eventually he'll ease into it and become the shameless loving crackhead you know today

●     But sometimes he'll still get a little shy

●     Whenever he says something too cheesy or makes a cute mistake or you compliment him

●     Always has the cutest bunny smile during these moments

●     Always puts your needs before his own

●     If you're a foreigner, he'll spend hours learning your native language

●     Even though you know Korean and you have no problem communicating uwu

●     Makes sure you're eating well and sleeping enough

●     Even when he's on diets and sleeps two hours a day max :(

●     Always insists to help you even if you don't need it

●     "Y/N, let me help you"

●     "Babe, I'm combing my hair..?"

●     Is always ready to tell you how amazing and beautiful you are whenever you get insecure about your body and talents :'(

●     Is legitimately confused why you would ever be insecure in the first place

●     When he is insecure tho

●     You just tell him the harsh truth

●     That he's the world's cutest, most talented and golden bunny, and he's precious to ARMY and to his members uwu

●     Tells you he loves you at least a hundred times a day just to see you blush and avoid his eyes cutely

●     His favorite thing is making you laugh

●     Loves it when you make him laugh as well

●     He's an hilarious person so he doesn't have to try much to succeed

●     Loves to make funny faces at you during one of your fake-serious banters

●     You two have a shit ton of private jokes (wtf is funny about a plastic cup????)

●     You live on sending each other memes and stupid videos of people falling down stairs lmfao

●     You two are severe crackheads oof

●     It's very likely to find the two of you awake at 3 am having a dance party or karaoke after too much wine

●     Constantly having tickle fights, wrestling matches, pillow fights, what not

●     Do not forget that JK is a savage little shit

●     And that doesn't change because you are his girlfriend *sigh*

●     Teases you about everything and anything

●     Places things high up on purpose just so he can show up later with his chest puffed out and take it down for you with a smirk

●     "Did I hear a damsel in distress?"

●     But makes sure not to take it too far uwu

●     This kid is competitive af omg

●     A relationship with him means turning everything into some race or bet

●     "I bet I can finish this hot dog faster than you"

●     "Whoever brushes their teeth faster gets to shower first!"

●     You see this a lot when the two of you game as well

●     There is no way you can date Jeon Jungkook without playing Overwatch at least once lol

●     Video game tournaments

●     He wins most of the time but if he'll ever lose it's because he let you smh

●     Is competitive also when it comes to other people

●     Always has to prove to you that he's the best and that you made the right choice dating him

●     Like you would ever doubt that pffft

●     Whenever someone impresses you Jungkook would just jump out and be like

●     "That's pretty cool, but did you see the new move I learned?" *breaks neck*

●     Going to a fun fair would just be you going back home with a truckload of plushies from Jungkook winning in all the booths kfkfkd

●     Dates with him are so cute and fun

●     He loves taking you out sm

●     It doesn't matter if it's movie night, ramen dates, dinner dates, lunch dates, beach dates, amusement park dates, coffee dates, workout dates, study dates, ice-skating dates

●     Jungkook's inner child always comes out with you

●     Probably because he never really got the time to be a real child :(

●     You're the only person aside from his members and family who gets to see the real him

●     He's so whipped for you

●     Literal heart eyes

●     Can't stop staring at you with twinkling eyes and a wide bunny smile

●     When you catch him he'll look away and blush but he'll feel satisfied when he sees you blush as well uwu

●     He finds everything you do adorable and can't help but send you bashful laughs and affectionate gazes

●     even if he won't admit it kkk

●     Compliments you all the time

●     Compliments about your looks, your outfits, your smallest, most insignificant achievements uwu

●     Always notices the small things about you that no one else does

●     "Wow, Y/N, these new earrings look so good on you, babe"

●     Basically Jungkook loves to spoil you hehe

●     Buys you presents all the damn time

●     You don't encourage him to do so because you hate feeling like he's your sugar daddy or smth and you aren't with him from his money

●     But he just can't help it when he sees something he knows you'll like

●     Spends more time shopping for you than for himself

●     But it's all worth the gleam of excitement in your eyes when you see his presents

●     Even if you playfully slap him and pout

●     "I told you to stop wasting money on me!"

●     Also makes you his own personal presents uwu

●     Usually gives you them before he goes on tour to cheer you up

●     Anything from portraits of you he drew secretly, to paintings of beautiful landscapes, to songs he wrote for you, to a collage of pictures you took of you

●     Jungkook loves taking pictures and videos of you

●     Takes snaps of you secretly cause he knows you're shy uwu

●     His camera roll and gallery is entirely filled with pictures of you sleeping, eating, laughing, smiling, staring, talking, etc…

●     Plus cute selfies and candid shots of the two of you with huge grins and arms wrapped around each other

●     And memey selfies of the two of you that you would literally bury yourself if anyone would find lol

●     Also has little, random videos of you just scrolling on your phone or something

●     "Y/N, look at mee~~"

●     It's really hard when Jungkook leaves for tour for both of you

●     Late night video calls almost every day

●     Even when Kook is after a concert, with his eyelids sticking to each other like glue π-π

●     Calls you half asleep and the two of you just talk about meaningless stuff until one of you falls asleep uwu

●     Sends you snaps all day of him and the guys and everything they're doing

●     Does it so you'll see he's having fun and staying healthy

●     Wants you to do the same so you send him selfies of you and your boring university lifestyle

●     He insists that he finds it interesting and that he wants to see your face

●     "I can't be deprived of touching you and seeing you! It's too much."

●     Doesn't answer texts ever so you mostly communicate through phone/video calls and snaps/memes

●     When he comes back from tour you wait for him at the airport

●     His face lights up when he sees you and he smiles so wide π-π

●     No matter how exhausted he is he runs to you like a lighting bolt

●     Hugs you tightly and twirls you around while the other members watch fondly

●     One of the few times he'll agree to so much PDA

●     Usually he doesn't really like being too touchy in public

●     But he always holds your hand just to make sure you're next to him, safe and sound uwu

●     Brings you so much souvenirs from his trip abroad to make you feel like you were there with him

●     Snow globes, magnets, clothes, key chains, plushies…

●     All of it to remind you he thought about you every single day he was away

●     When you're together you're so domestic

●     If it's making food together, Jungkook teaching you BTS' newest choreo, working out, or even cleaning the house together

●     Nothing's boring with Jungkook

●     He's a whole different person when you're alone

●     Calls you sweet nicknames like "baby", "babe", "jagi", "princess" and "angel"

●     He's singing all day so it feels like your constantly stuck in "The Greatest Showman"

●     But you can't really complain cause Gukkie's sweet honey voice is your favourite thing to hear

●     Sometimes he'll talk to you in songs only to piss you off

●     But most of the time he'll sing to you when you can't sleep or when you feel sad or sick

●     He'll comb his hands through your hair gently while he sings to you softly *heart-attack*

●     Picks you up all the time

●     It might be because he loves to prove that he's strong enough to protect you and cherish you

●     But also because he loves hearing your shrieks of surprise and soft laughter

●     Piggybacks on the street, carrying you bridal style around the house, lifting you up like a baby in his arms when you playfully fight and twirling you around

●     Just all the time really

●     "Okay, okay, I'm sorry~~ Please let me down"

●     Because you live together when he's in Korea you're always stealing his clothes

●     He pretends to not like it and demands you to give it back to him

●     But if you're ever cold or in the need of some clothing he'll be the first to throw you his wardrobe

●     His slightly possessive nature feeds off seeing you all small and soft in his clothes

●     It probably turns him on tbh

●     Because of this he has a big thing for couple items as well

●     Whether it's outfits, phone cases, lockscreens, accessories, and eventually jewelry (like promise rings uwu)

●     Brags about you to the members 24/7

●     "Look at this picture I took of Y/N when she wasn't looking! Isn't she the prettiest?"

●     "Hyung, did you hear that Y/N was voted for best student in her class? Wah, I was really so impressed! She's a genius."

●     The members high-key tease him for it and say it's annoying

●     But they secretly think it's adorable how happy you make him and adore you so much for it fr

●     You getting along with the rest of the members so well makes Jungkook really happy

●     Even though he might get too protective sometimes

●     Gets jealous often and is horrible at hiding it despite not saying it directly smh

●     Watches from afar when you laugh at something Taehyung says, pinching his cheek lightly

●     His eyebrows are furrowed and he's tonguing his cheek like he always does when he's jealous

●     Eventually he has enough and comes over to you

●     Pecks your cheek or pulls you to sit in his lap and tells everyone about the date you have planned for tomorrow

●     "So, me and Y/N are planning to go to a picnic tomorrow at Han river…"

●     And you're trying so hard not to smile cause he's just being so obvious and you find it cute

●     A few time his jealousy leads to fights tho

●     Fighting with Jungkook in general is a rare occurrence

●     But when you do fight it can get pretty bad

●     Rather than shouting or losing his temper, Jungkook tends to shut himself off when the fight is serious

●     He stays quiet and talks only when it's necessary

●     "Whatever" "Do what you want"

●     It's mostly because he's afraid to say something he'll regret later

●     He'll probably leave the apartment and go to the gym/studio/dorm room to calm down and clear his head

●     Because both of you have big egos, it might take a few days to make up

●     If Jungkook's at fault, he will eventually swallow his pride and apologize to you

●     If it were the other way around tho

●     You're not going to hear a word from him until you admit you were at fault

●     No matter how much it'll hurt him to be away from you

●     Even after the fight is over it might take a little time for things to go back to how they were

●     Because Jungkook's pride and insecurities might get in the way of him approaching you

●     But with enough patience you'll be back to being the inseparable couple you were before

●     In case you think I forgot

●     Skinship is a must in your relationship

●     Jungkook loves to cuddle with you

●     He's always the big spoon, with his hands underneath your (his) shirt, just gently caressing the skin of your stomach and hips

●     Or with you laying on top of his chest, legs tangled together

●     A lot of times cuddling leads to heated make out sessions and even more

●     When he's troubled or exhausted he likes to nuzzle his head in the junction between your shoulder and neck and just breathe you in

●     Tight hugs when you see each other after a while with his hands pressing your face to his chest protectively

●     Back hugs are a must obviously

●     Creeps up behind you when you're working and scares the frick out of you when he wraps his arms around your waist

●     Loves forehead kisses because it's another opportunity to boast about how tall he is smh

●     Also cheek kisses, nose kisses, ear kisses, neck kisses, knuckle kisses and lip kisses ofc lol

●     Kisses you out of the blue and then pretends like nothing happened

●     "Sorry, I couldn't help it"

●     Lots of sweet, soft, loving kisses uwu

●     Has a thing for nibbling/biting you (mostly your earlobe/bottom lip/fingers)

●     Loves giving hickeys oml

●     It fits his possessive nature perfectly

●     The more people know you belong to him, the better

●     Loves when you sit in his lap skdjd

●     He wraps his arms around your stomach and pulls you closer so he can place his chin on your shoulder, occasionally leaving butterfly kisses all over your neck and shoulders

●     Also into cuter things like poking your cheeks when you do something cute, ruffling your hair, tickling you and pinching your cheeks and bopping your nose.

●     When it comes to bed, Jungkook is definitely a dom

●     Just like he is on stage kdkck

●     Puts your pleasure before his own and makes sure you're a 10474859% with whatever he's doing beforehand

●     Sex after a fight or after he gets jealous and needs to remind himself you're only his

●     Dirty talk ahhhh

●     He can also be soft tho

●     Like when he's making love to you omg my hearteu

●     Whispering praises and sweet words in your ear

●     Staring into your eyes with his dark, intense ones

●     Moans alot and likes it when you do too

●     Occasionally he lets you have the upper hand

●     Doesn't spend too much time on aftercare because he wants to go back to holding you as quickly as possible

●     The two of you fall asleep naked with your bodies completely tangled together

●     Also likes showering with you

●     less in a sexual way and more as another opportunity to pamper you

●     Scrubs you carefully and puts shampoo for you

●     Uses soap foam to grow you a fake beard this boi srsly

●     Basically he loves you like no one else and you're destined to be

●     The best boi there is <3

[scarletfokx]

Regarding episode 58- Beware, there shall be spoilers!

Okay, so, Peacock and Runyu have a convo where Jinmi overhears them talking and figures out that Runyu knew that Xufeng wasn't her parents murderer before she killed him. Then after peacock leaves and Runyu wants to get some shuteye before the wedding he is confronted by Jinmi who shouts at him in angst.

It was a powerful scene. And extremely...unjustified.

I personally believe that in her mind Jinmi still wanted to escape the blame of everything bad that happened because it all revolved around her, and she obviously didn't want to marry Runyu, hell, she didn't even PRETEND to care about him. She didn't even show friendly affection. The thing is...is what she said fair or true?

I want to point out that it would have been cruel of him to tell her that peacock was the real murderer after she already killed Xufeng, and even if he wanted to tell her he couldn't because she put herself in a coma. He couldn't exact her revenge because even though he denys it and we know he is jealous of Xufeng, he still loved his brother deeply and the damn peacock was the only thing keeping Xufeng alive. I couldn't find the episode before the wedding/murder, so I'm not entirely certain that Runyu DIDN'T know who was behind Jinmi's parents murder, but I doubt he would have let her go through the injustice he had to, that's against everything he stands for and let's face it, he DID fix the heavenly realm and the six realms as best he could after the corrupt ruling of his parents.

I'm posting this because I really need to know what you guys think. I barely sleep at night now and this injustice infuriates me in bed for hours!

Jinmi didn't give him the opportunity to defend himself properly. She even scared him and riled him up with the fear of losing her. He just took her words like whips.

How did he use every inch of her? He didn't marry her, he didn't sleep with her...and as for her accusations of him never loving her and only loving himself...he never loved himself until he met her. He loved her because she taught him to love himself. It was sincere and honest and it never changed. (Love triangle my ass, they never gave Runyu a fighting chance! Xufeng always got seen and acknowledged for his actions but Runyu never did.)

He also genuinely never wanted the throne. He just wanted to give her the best life could offer, in a world fit for someone as pure and innocent as her to live in. He fixed it up and took on all the dirty work and responsibility...

When she accused him of approaching her in the beginning because she was close to Xufeng and using her to spy on him...LIES. I literally (in my obsession for justice) searched all the scenes and annalised them closely up till episode 16 for this, and no, he didn't ever spy on Xufeng intentionally, and he was genuinely interested in her because he liked her, NO OTHER REASON!

And he is smart, but even he didn't suspect that she was related to Water Immortal the day of the empress's birthday. Sure it surprised him, but the hail stone isn't far off from all the other wierd and unexplainable things she did. He didn't he know about his mother yet, or the conspiracy. He eavesdropped on them all after HE helped save her from the empress (no thanks might I add), to learn the truth about her. He didn't plan to use it against her or anything!

As for pretending to not have seen her father...guys and girls, if it got you brownie points when you were behind in the live competition, wouldn't you do the same? It WAS underhanded, but it wasnt a bad thing really. In a way it was cute and showed us how he wanted to impress his in laws, goddamn, he has been teased about the nonexistent fiance for ages and now he finally has her, AND it's the one and only girl that he likes!

Anyone else think that Xufeng SHOULD have stepped down because it was the right thing to do? It WAS the right thing to do. He was willing to leave her when he thought they were related, yet he still left his father with her to show her that his feeling didn't even change! So why should Runyu's have? It doesn't mean he knew anything! And for his brothers sake, his brother who never asked for anything but gave as much as he could to his brother who already had everything, he WOULDN'T step down. WTF?!

Yes there was something between Jinmi and Xufeng already which was ofc, 99% only Xufeng's affection anyway, but this was his brothers promised bride for gods sake! Is it wrong for Runyu to pursue her? It was wrong for Xufeng to pursue her in the mortal realm! And was Runyu wrong for restoring the elixir? No. He did it for selfish reasons, but also for her own health as he always does. Love, even true love, is NEVER entirely selfless. This gave him equal footing to Xufeng to try and win her love.

And for the record, she is the o e who said she liked Runyu, even though he did understand it as the 'friend' way, as he also proved by playing 20 Questions. He never pressured her into staying in the arranged marriage, even when he knew she was trying to get out of it. He really just wanted her to be happy.

Runyu didn't need her fathers help to fight Xufeng, he needed his help to overthrow his parents and to stop the tyranny. Her father was already wanting to exact justice for Jinmi's mother, so they had similar interests. Didn't Runyu's mother deserve justice? I get how she abused her son, and to me it will forever be unforgivable, however by that point she was already driven into insanity.

The beast of dreams part was also a low blow. It's one of the few things that actually belong to him and he gave it to her in a sincere gesture way before anything terrible happened. Sure maybe he could have been using it to watch over her, but hello, he was protecting her!

I have no doubt that he believed that Jinmi would go against Xufeng for him, but I doubt he expected THAT outcome. The way she screams that she only loved Xufeng...his heart...you can just see it shattering!

And hello again, he IS the most innocent, kindest person around there who doesn't even expect praise for anything he does! Xufeng shows off while Runyu hides away. I doubt he ever wanted the entire world to adore and respect him :'D I mean...does she know him at all?!

Can you really tell me he wasn't sincere when he professed his love to her? <\3 Can you imagine the hurt he felt seeing her and Xufeng having sex in the dream? By then they all knew she was Runyu's fiance, and even worse, Jinmi couldn't love or show romantic love so Xufeng ALSO manipulated her into feeling and doing what he wanted. There are no two-ways, that is a damned fact. Runyu knew he had no place staking a claim or getting revenge for something that still wasn't his yet so HE DIDN'T! Even when she spied on Xufeng in the demon realm and kept getting into trouble, he kept saving her again and again, more times than Xufeng, and yet he asked for nothing. She he hurt him by saying she 'owe's him' OUCH! He gave her half his life!

(Somebody You Loved is totally his song btw!)

I feel that Runyu is like a heartbroken husband who knows his wife is having an affair with his own brother but because he loves them both he just continues being good and hoping with all his heart that she will open her eyes and realise that he is the right person for her, not Xufeng. I can imagine a man laying alone in bed and being grateful that his wife still came home to sleep. That's how much its synchronizes.

He then bore his heart open for her to see and told her the things that mattered to him and she told him he didn't deserve to be loved...O.M.G. Okay, so, I won't lie...I'm a crier. I cry easy. But this had me bawling like an infant because both sides were just so...I'M STILL DYING INSIDE! He wasn't even lying about giving up being the emperor! He really meant it. <\3

How desperate he was made it so much worse. He made some wrong choices in life, who hasn't? She killed an innocent man for a crime he didn't commit, and yet...

Runyu believed that she would understand and learn to live him in time. She could have. He knew the self hate was killing her inside so he even told her to hate him. <\3 All he wanted was to love and protect her. And then she dropped his heart scale like it was nothing. NOTHING. O.M.G!<\3

And when he said 'In the future, if we get married you might not be treated fairly. Would you mind?' He meant that she would be treated the way he was which was horribly! She didn't mind then, so where did that faith go?

His memories at the end scene...just so sad. I think I got an eyelash in my eye. He brokenly picked up his scale. Despite how she hurt him he won't regret it because he did it all for her.

After she died and the flowers all disappeared, including the one in his hand...it was heartbreaking. That's all he had left of her. At the end when he sits on the throne alone and in the dark,(except for his aid and the beast of dreams), he doesn't even resent her a tiny bit, but he has everything except the one he tried to get it all for. That's just...they really did him wrong.

My problem is that (and I started a fanfic that I'm too muddleheaded to continue atm) I can't get over this injustice. I'm one of those people who really just can't take it. In all of two weeks I watched Novoland S1and2, Ashes of Love, and The Eternal Live S1and2, and through all that, this scene sticks out worst of all of the injustices. Not even Tingjun's cruel fate.

Am I the only one who see's Runyu like this? Tell me what you think, I need someone to sooth my poor mind!

[dobrikburrito]

great expectations, d.d.

words: 2.4k

Write something about david surprising his girlfriend with a surprise trip to like hawaii cos its her dream vacation and when the vlog goes up people compare it to the vacation dav and liza took and it makes her upset and her cheers her up. ( She wasnt a public figure and people didnt think they should be together)

disclaimer: angst & fluff. david being cute af. 

⠀ 

“Okay, give it to me.” You sat down by the corner of his bed, putting both of your hands out and closing your eyes. You smiled to yourself. “That’s what she said.”

David burst out laughing. “Can you be serious for one minute?”

“You’re one to talk,” You opened your eyes and gave him a dirty look. “By the way, I just want to say on the record that David promised that nothing gross was about to happen here. I wanted to put this out there so he can be held accountable if I have a heart attack.”

David couldn’t stop laughing, so he pointed the camera to himself. “I did promise that, unfortunately, so I had to put the anaconda away.”

“That’s what she said.” You laughed and slapped yourself. “Bad (Y/N). Alright, me-serious. Go.”

“You know how our friends say we’re really annoying with the whole anniversary every month?” David started and you nodded. “So, I had this really fun idea, which actually makes me a genius.”

“Show off.” You commented under your breath and he chuckled.

“So I decided to combine our fourth month anniversary with your birthday and…” David put two plane tickets on your hands.

You looked at David, confused and then took one second to read the tickets. Your mouth instantly dropped. “What the fuck? Oh sorry.” David laughed. “Wait, are you serious? Is this real?”

“Yes, baby!” David was loving how shocked and paralyzed you were. “This says Hawaii in it.” You commented, looking at it, trying to find any clues that it was a fake ticket for a prank.

David turned the camera to himself. “She’ll get there, just give her a minute.”

“Are we going to Hawaii?” You looked at your boyfriend, puppy eyes and jaw to the floor.

“Yeap, we’re spending 7 days in a mansion in Hawaii.” David told you and the new information just hit you even harder?

“What the fuck?” You were looking away, shocked. David burst out laughing again.

Cut to you guys on the plane, first class tickets, with a fake flower on your ear, being all excited and childish. David ordered two glasses of champagne for the both of you.

“This is literally so extra,” You laughed, posing as some fancy old lady, then doing a british accent. “David, dear, would you please take care of my ponies for the summer. I’m spending it in my mansion in Dubai. I miss my liquid gold pool.”

“Why are you british?” David was laughing so much.

“I’m not talking like Dom to try and look fancy, silly.” You joked around, then smiling to your boyfriend.

You arrived to Hawaii, rented a porsche, headed to the rental house in Kamuela. David filmed you driving there, your hair flying on the wind, loving how big the smile on your face was. The drive was about 50 minutes, which earned some shots from the road, the two of you singing to Ariana’s songs and being overall weirdos.

David filmed your whole reaction to the massive mansion just for the two of you. Feelings every feeling known to man at once, you couldn’t help the tears of happiness when you saw how beautiful everything was. It had an infinity pool, a jacuzzi, a green big yard, enormous rooms with an amazing view to the sea and sunset. David didn’t want to tell you the day price of the rental at first, but you managed to get it out of him, shocked when he told you it was US$1.5k for the night.

It was a lot of money, but you made a 7-days schedule to enjoy the most of it and have so much footage for his vlogs that the trip would end up paying itself. Honestly, you were always amazed by how David never really thought twice about spending money on you and making sure that he was doing it because he loved to. Rarely spending on himself, this was just as rewarding to him.

The next three vlogs were filled with the funniest moments of you guys snorkeling, golfing, hiking, sightseeing, watching cultural concerts, doing surf lessons (which turned out horribly), visiting local markets even going on a helicopter ride, even though you were scared to death of the height. 

On the fourth day, you woke up before David did. You just took one moment to watch him sleep, so peacefully, next to you. You knew how lucky you were to have him in your life, but not because he was a successful youtuber or because he had money. When you met him, randomly at a friend’s friend party, you didn’t even knew who he was and you loved him instantly, his humor and charm sweeping you off your feet.

Even though you weren’t a public figure nor ever was used to having cameras around, you got used to it, compromising for your relationship with him, knowing how this was basically his entire life.

“You know I can feel you staring at me, right, creep?” David said, eyes still closed but a little smirk lurking in his lips.

“I’m trying to decide when to murder you, that’s all.” You softly joked as you ran your fingertips over his cheeks. David loved your dark humor and laughed to himself, taking your hand and kissing it.

“Good morning my favorite serial killer.” He lazily opened his eyes.

“Good morning pretty boy.” You gave him a long peck on the lips. “Did I tell you how much I love you yet?”

“Not today, no.” David snuggled closer to you, humming happily when you started caressing his hair.

“I do. I love how you do that little smile with your tongue hanging and how no matter what you do to your hair, it always kinda looks both great and like you’re turning into a mad scientist.” David chuckled, hiding his face on your neck. “I love how you’re always looking to hold my hand, even when you don’t realize it.”

“Tell me more,” David gave you a sweet kiss on the neck.

“I love how you respect and love me. How you look at me with those shiny brown eyes and how those are the reason I never can’t get mad at you, which by itself makes me mad.” You sighed, then laughed. “And how selfless you are, how much you care for your friends even if sometimes you try to not to show it too much.”

“You wanna know what I love about you?” David looked up at you, his hair looking like he was definitely a mad scientist, which instantly made you chuckle. “I love your butt.”

You burst out laughing, putting your hand on his face. “Asshole, I was here pouring my heart out like a good old Todd Smith poem and you do me like that.” David chuckled for a good minute, hiding his face again and holding you tight. “My butt is pretty good, I guess.”

David nodded and you pulled his hair. “Ouch, (Y/N), the fuck.” He looked back at you. “Wait, do it again.” You rolled your eyes and tried to let go of him, only earning you deathly tickles. 

Since his next posting day was tomorrow, you reserved half the day for David to edit some of the footage of the trip to post. The video was up early in the morning, after long hours of editing, so through the first couple of hours since the video was up, David was asleep on your bed.

Curiosity always got the best of you and you checked the video again, loving the whole montages and fun moments, but your attention soon focusing on the mean comments.

Can someone make an edit with all the same scenes from this vlog and David and Liza’s vlog in Hawaii? lol

Someone tell David he found a gold digger, plz.

She’s trying too hard to replace Liza, never gonna happen hun.

Who’s gonna tell her the minute Liza calls David will drop her ass? lmao

All this money dropping on what’s-her-name. Not even that pretty tbh.

Damn she must have a top sex game to whip him up like that.

How’s it like being a long-ass rebound for David while Liza is away?

This is literally the same trip he did with Liza wtf

David can do so much better she doesn’t deserve him

I kinda like her but she’s clearly after his clout

Every word was a knife to the heart, over and over and over again. It broke your heart how much comparison there was between you and Liza, and how come most of his fans never accepted you. This wasn’t the first time you read mean comments, but this time it was deeper. They knew exactly how to hurt you.

You were sitting by yourself by the porch, looking out of the amazing view of Hawaii, a dream come true for you. Wrapped up in a small blanket, you couldn’t help but cry to yourself. The feeling you had is that your relationship was doomed for the start and that you’d never live up to his fans’ expectations because you simply wasn’t Liza.

“There you are, I’ve been looking all over for you.” David made his way towards you.

You quickly cleaned the running tears, knowing it wasn’t doing much, since your face was read and swollen. David was taken aback by the sudden change of pace.

“Wow, (Y/N), are you okay? What happened?” Sitting by your side in the porch chair, his brows were furrowed, worried. 

“Nothing, sweetie. I’m just thinking about everything and feeling so happy about this trip and how much I don’t deserve you for being so amazing.” You were a terrible liar and he knew you pretty well.

“I appreciate the compliments, but I don’t like when you lie to me.” David caressed your thigh, comforting. “We don’t keep secrets, remember?”

“I’m going to be fine, I promise. I just need one moment.” You laughed and cleaned the tears again.

“(Y/N).” That was all he said.

You sighed, knowing you wouldn’t get out of this so easily. Deciding to comply, you read him all the youtube comments you had read. David tried to speak in between, but you stopped him until you went through all of it. His hands slid through his face in frustration.

“I’m so sorry you have to go through this, baby.” He held your hand. “You don’t deserve this kind of hate. This is all my fault. I should’ve kept our relationship to ourselves.”

“This is not your fault. I love our relationship and I love our dynamic and somehow you made me love being in the vlogs. You know I support you no matter what, but I feel like I’m facing a war and losing everyday. No matter what I do, I’ll never be Liza. They’ll never accept me for me. I’ll always live down to unreachable expectations because I’m not famous nor funny enough or pretty enough or skinny enough.”

“You know I don’t care about any of that, isn’t that enough?” David’s heart was shattered by watching you cry like that, seeing how much you were hurting.

You caressed his hand with your thumb and smiled to yourself, though still sad. “Dave, when you introduced me to your life, I had no idea what any of this meant. You taught me a lot about how your life works and I adapted, because I wanted this, us. It’s so hard to be used to the cameras, the need for content, the clickbait, but I did it because I love you. You’re always enough for me, but I know I feel like I’m not enough for you.”

“(Y/N), don’t say that…” His eyes were starting to tear up.

“No, it’s okay. I understand. This is a big part of your life, it’s your career. You’d never ask me to give up on my job or personal dreams, neither would I.” You took a deep breath. “But I try to be strong and… T-to try and ignore all the hate, but it’s just so many comments. Instagram, youtube, twitter. The good ones are so rare.”

David didn’t know what to say. Your tears were rolling down your face again. “I know I shouldn’t look at it, but it’s stronger than me. I just wanted them to give me one real chance, you know?”

“Come here.” He said, pulling you up for a tight hug. “I know this sucks and it’s hurting you and I hate it, because you’re amazing and you don’t deserve any of this.” He caressed your hair. “You wanna know what I love about you? Besides your butt, I mean.”

You looked up and chuckled lightly. David cleaned the tears away.

“I love that you always check me when I’m being an idiot. You always give me your honest opinion. You treat my friends like family. You stay up late with me when I’m editing even if you sleep by the couch with me, because you don’t want me to be alone.” David caressed your cheeks. “You have the prettiest smile and seeing it instantly makes me happy, no matter what. You motivate me and inspire me. I love how you cook for me and how you’re always talking with my mom, letting her know I’m being healthy. How much my parents and siblings love you.”

You sighed, happy. You gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

“I love how you make me think about having kids, because I often see how much of a great mom you’d be. I love planning with you, surprising you, thinking about our future together, because I know that if I wanted to drop this whole thing tomorrow, you’d be there for me.” David kissed you again. “You’ll never be Liza and I love you for it, because I don’t want you to be. I want you to be you, because that’s who I fell madly in love with.”

“Oh my God. I’m crying more now, stupid. Look what you did.” Chuckling softly, you hugged him tight again. He returned the hug.

“I’m sorry these haters keep hurting you, but I promise I’ll be here to kick their ass and assure you that you’re absolutely amazing, okay?” David pointed out.

You nodded, overwhelmed by how much you loved that boy. “I love you, stupid.” You smiled.

“I love you too, dumbass.” David smiled and kissed all over your face.

[sinfulcries2]

milkshake boy ; cai xukun

hello everyone! its my first REAL post sooo ive been watching idol producer lately and i fell inlove with cai xukun omg he is more beautiful than me anyways i hope you enjoy!

after a long day at school, you decide to get a milkshake and meet your future boyfriend

GENRE: fluff

WARNINGS: uhmm... sudden heart attack ^__^;

okay lets us prepare our hearts for this xukun imagines hdjwxbcje.

you were just a normal college student who took the course of performing arts and yOU WERE REALLY GOOD AT IT.

some companies scouted you but you rejected them all because you knew that you wouldnt have time for training because of school

if that aint me lmAO

anYWAYS

so one day your dance teacher taught a few moves that were new to you and your classmates so you had difficulties learning them.

whats worse is that your teacher assigned all of you and your classmates to create a dance with those moves in it.

and you were like ‘bITCH WTF ARE YOU SERIOUS MS.ZHOU??’

and it was like she read your mind and said “oH YES”

so you were determined to make the most creative and unique dance

class originally ended at 3:30 p.m but you stayed at the practice room dancing until 8:55 p.m

hOW HARDWORKING I CAN NEVER RELATE-

so you danced, and danced until you got the move right 

but like you kept messing up at one particular part.

at the middle of dancing, ms.zhou did a check on why the hell there was music coming from the practice room sO LATE AT NIGHT

to her surprise she saw you there working yourself out to the bone.

so she ran up to you and stopped you from dancing further.

“you need some rest y/n!!”

“no need-”

“yOU NEED REsT gO bAcK hOMe aNd sLeEp”

“yES MAAM’

so while you were walking home

and by walking i mean literally dragging yourself along the street with your school bag by your shoulder

you saw a milkshake shop not so far from where you were

and since you didnt have any water in your jug left, you decided why not buy some water from there.

so you walked and walked until you reached the shop

you entered the shop to get greeted by this hELLA ATTRACTIVE BOY

and you were like ‘omg i smell like sweat what do i do omg can i just shoot me he looks like full course meal iN a good way-’

and he shot you a bright smile

you swore your heart was beating 173600237 times per second

aND HE WAS THERE SMILING LIKE HE WAS ENJOYING YOUR PAIN

so you walked up to the counter

and he gave you a warm greeting

“hI WELCOME TO CHINLI’S”

im joking

“Hi welcome to idol projuicer, my name is xukun! what can i get for you?”

and you being distracted by his ethereal beauty you blurted out

“o-one strawberry milkshake”

because that was your favorite flavor

but you remembered that you had to buy water

tOO LATE THE RECIPT IS BEING PRINTED OUT 

so you pay for your drink and find a seat in the shop

after you find a seat you take a seat and scroll on your phone for a bit

sUDDENLY YOU HEAR A VOICE BEHIND YOU

“miss here is your strawberry milkshake”

and turns out its xukun dude who is also your waiter!

he flashes you a smile and puts the shake on your table

but you noticed he put chocolate ice cream on top with chocolate syrup!

so basically its now strawberry and chocolate

wHICH IS LIKE YOUR SECOND FAVORITE SHAKE FLAVOR

im sorry if it isnt omg 

so you unintentionally smiled and drank your shake happily.

xukun caught you smiling and he smiled too

he also swore his heart started beating 30572921637 times per second

see how theres more numbers

anyways the next day after school, you decided to go to that milkshake shop again

because of xukun and his shakes

mainly because of xukun

but anyways everytime you visited he would put some more add-ons on every shake you order.

the two of you got closer in just the span of a week

how?

one day you were craving his amazing milkshakes so you went there

and then while you were drinking, xukun walked up to you and built up a conversation

and the two of you cLICKED

why did he strike a convo?

he likes you mwahahaha

anyways aside from that in the span of two weeks

he gave you the nickname ‘beautiful loyal customer’

the owner of the shop, Mr.Zhang started to treat you as if you were his own daughter lol

the other staff, ziyi, justin, chengcheng, treated you as if you were their sister.

and best of all, xukun!gave!you!his!number!

and you became a squeeling dolphin when you got home

to the point your mom thought you were secretly a dolphin hybrid

one day while you and xukun were having a dinner date at the shop,

you remembered the dance you had to do

and the fact it was two days away made you scared af

so you excused yourself

sO LIKE YOU KNOW THAT DRAMATIC KDRAMA HAND GRAB?

THAT HAPPENED

he asked why you were leaving so early because it was unusual of you

so you told him “dance.learn.2 days”

he seemed to understand and he smiled at you

“i will help you”

and it was unusual because he didnt tell you he was also a dancer??

but you agreed anyways

so when the two of you reached the studio,

you played the music and started to dance to the song

xukun had heart eyes while watching you but also seemed to learn the moves quickly just by looking at it

so he noticed the moves you were messing up at and he taught you a few techniques and shit that would make you remember it and do it properly.

so after a while of teaching, he asked you to dance again but this time to apply the stuff he taught you

so you danced with the stuff he taught you

and when the song ended you heard xukun clap like a proud mom seal hybrid

and you also couldnt believe it because when you looked at your phone the song was done playing!

cONGRATS

so you ran up to xukun and hugged him tightly

and xukun was sHOOK  and you realized what you did and you pulled away awkwardly the two of yoiu being tomatoes.

but he broke the awkwardness and pulled out a mango milkshake out from his bag.

“yOU DID IT BEAUTIFUL LOYalL Y/N!!”

and the two of you would end up being a giggling mess

fastforward to the day of your presentation....

you got the second highest grade

zhengting being the first

but you were happy with your grade

soo when you went out of your school you saw xukun there waiting for you.

and you were like wtf why is he here

but he smiles only

“y/NNN i wANNA TAKE YOU TO THE MILKSHAKE SHOP AGAIN TO CELEBRATE!!”

and you giggled at his cuteness

so while the two of you were walking there and the two of you talking about life

he would lace his hand with yours

and you would be a CHERRY BOMB

and he would be there smiling widely while admiring your beautiful, flustered face

so once the two of you arrive at the shop

you would see that it was closed, but there were flower petals everywhere you would be so dumbfounded when you hear the song with the lyrics only being ‘balance’

and you hear someone with the voice of Mr.Zhang mutter a loud “cRAP WRONG SONG”

and after that a ballad love song would play

xukun would whisper a short ‘aish, mr.zhang’ but you would only giggle 

sooooo xukun would face you again and grab the both of your hands gently

he would be so nervous and shy omg pls save him

and he would blurt out

“uHMM Y/N IVE LIKED YOU FOR A LONG TIME NOW PLS DONT REJECT ME OMG IF YOU DONT LIKE ME BACK AT LEAST KISS ME OR SOMETHING IDK”

and you would only giggle and peck him on the lips

“ i like you too, my milkshake boy” you say and hug him tightly

he would grab your waist and kiss you LONGER

the two of you smiling into the kiss

when the two of you pulled away

xukun would give you a strawberry chocolate milkshake like when you first met each other

you would smile remembering the both of your first encounters and chuckle slightly.

xukun’s heart would go dugeun dugeun dugeun seeing your smile

and he would ask.......

“would you be my girlfriend?”

“yes of course”

“oUR MILKSHAKE BOY HAS FOUND HIS MILKSHAKE GIRL”

thats probably ziyi

everyone would cheer

and suddenly justin comes out of nowhere and plays careless whisper

while the two of you hold hands enjoying each others pressence

OMG IM DONE THIS TOOK ME 4 HOURS TO MAKE OML ANYWAYS HOPED YOU ENJOYED LOVELIES!

[noscorpsaladerive]

Flo in Bordeaux!!!!

I wrote up mine and Emily’s experiences seeing Flo yesterday but the verb tenses are all over the place and this is REALLY LONG so it’s going under the cut I hope y’all enjoy :)

So Emily and I got to Bordeaux around noon but we couldn’t check in until 14h so we were walking around trying to find food that didn’t cost 20€ per person and we accidentally came across the theatre!!!  They had a couple posters with Flo’s face on them and I nearly died omg.  We saw a couple of vans outside and I’m guessing it was all of their equipment.

Skip forward a few hours and one mild freak out session that resulted in breathing exercises later, and Emily and I FINALLY head over to the theatre about an hour before showtime.  There are already quite a few people outside, which surprised me a little bit, but the age demographic was very strange.  Like there were a lot of women who were at least in their 40s and 50s and even a gaggle of preteen girls not that enjoying Flo’s music is limited to a certain age group but it was just an unexpected demographic (as Erin said it’s the same one as 50 Shades of Grey lol).  But anyway while we were standing outside I heard some music playing AND IT WAS FLO’S SOUNDCHECK.  I think he was playing J’attends encore but they just played part of it but it was still enough to cause a heart attack dear goodness

So we finally get into the theatre (and there was this whole drama about the staff holding onto my fancy camera during the concert because apparently photos weren’t allowed ugh but ANYWAY) and it like still hasn’t quite hit that I’m actually seeing Flo again??? I think part of it might’ve been the fact that we had to get up at like 4:45 in the morning to go to the train station but I was like scarily calm considering this is Flo we’re talking about.

The opening act was a band from Bordeaux called MO and they were actually really good!! I’d looked them up beforehand and their music seemed like French country and considering that I don’t like American country I wasn’t too excited but it was a little bit more soft pop than country and it almost reminded me of Diane’s music??  It was a very similar genre regardless.  They got the audience to do this like percussive song thing with them and it was really fun I’d definitely be happy to see them perform again.

Then after a good while where the crew moved instruments around and they adjusted the lighting one last time the band walked on stage and started playing some music then FLO WALKED ON STAGE AND I COULDN’T STOP GRINNING LIKE AN IDIOT and they keep playing then he gets interrupted by his mom calling and he finally turns around and I see his stupid face and I’m gonna die just writing about this omg and he’s so damn cute and he’s now wearing a hoop earring (we were on Flo’s left so we had great views of the earring haha) and omg I’m still dying

Anyways after the fake phone call with his mom they start playing Se serrer la main which is one of my fave songs on that album but like i wanted to like stand up and jam along but no one else was standing??? Concerts that take place in real theatres stress me out idk if we’re supposed to stand or sit or what but ANYWAY

after that song ended he asked « Y’a des drôles de filles ici ce soir?? »/« Are there any drôles de filles here tonight? » (sorry I can’t think of how to translate drôles de filles rn) but I FLIPPED MY SHIT QUELLE DRÔLE DE FILLE IS SUCH A JAM (plus it’s my blog title lol) uhhhh idk which songs were next and I’m too lazy to pull up my recording rn to check but he sang a new song and damn it was such a jam and he was like noodling and dancing across the stage and i was struck by two things:  1) he seemed SO COMFORTABLE in his own skin and in his own body and i know he’s struggled with body issues before so it warmed my heart to see him so comfortable with himself and 2) he leaned backwards at one point (a mini-Rosenberggggg lean if you will) and I noticed his abs through his shirt???  And I was like wtf????  Are his abs just THAT well defined or is his shirt kinda see through??? Later on after I saw his nipples I was like YEP that shirt’s see through oops.  I knew his outfit seemed too normal I was getting suspicious. He also dabbed at the end of that song and you could feel half the audience groaning hahaha.

Uh I’m forgetting the song order but for Les Blessures qui ne se voient pas he started out a cappella and people were kinda singing along at first but everyone stopped and it was literally a silent theatre full of people listening to nothing but Flo’s voice and it was so beautiful and powerful I almost cried.  Oh I also almost cried when he did Te Ressembler because I wasn’t expecting him to do that song and it reminds me so much of the relationship I have with my mother and it just gets to me man.

After maybe like half an hour he started the whole bit where he tells us his life story starting with Canada which is a shame that he doesn’t start earlier because I would literally die to hear him perform some Lost Smile.  So he starts out the bit at a bar and he orders a rum and coke from the bartender (aka the guitarist who was wiping down his guitar with a towel as if it was a bar countertop lol) so the guitarist pours him a glass of wine and calls it rum and coke and Flo says « What kind of rum is this? » and the bartender/guitarist says « It’s Bordeaux rum! » and everyone screams since we’re in Bordeaux and Flo says that the best rum is from Bordeaux and everyone screams some more.

He talked about the friend he wrote « Alone » for then he performed said song and I nearly died I never in a million years thought I would ever hear him perform Canada songs live but also I feel like Emily and I were the only ones who knew the song???  The general feeling I got from the audience was confusion while I was jamming along having the time of my life.  The only other Canada song he performed was Mrs Mary which I don’t know as well as Alone but oh well.  

Next he did the getting a call to come audition for MOR and the fake audition and he was acting all cute and when the casting director aka the keyboardist asked how old he was he said 27 and like half of the audience squealed he was acting so cute then this motherfucker went and sang Bohemian Rhapsody which is ANOTHER song I thought I’d never hear him perform live and I just about died and cried I was a roller coaster of emotions last night okay?

Then he sang « L’Assasymphonie » and we all stood up and jammed and I’m pretty sure there was eye contact happening between us and I was living for it seeing Flo perform that song gives me life I have a video too but I’ll be uploading all my videos, pics, and recordings later.

Then he got a fake call from Dove (and I squealed really loudly when Flo mentioned Dove) and Dove said he’d had a dream about Flo with a big sword (ahem) and that’s how he introduced Quelque chose de magique and I died all over again it was like this really awesome rock arrangement and I was living for it @Dove why don’t you get Flo to do the arrangements for your musicals from now on at least that way you can’t tell him to chop all his hair off but I digress.  Tbh I’m really glad Flo did Quelque chose de magique because Mon combat is awkwardly just out of his lower range and Auprès d’un autre is just...yeah.  But it was so great to hear him sing LRA live again I was so pumped.

At some point during the musicals or just after Flo took another sip of the wine (which the guitarist had been drinking lol) and he said « Fuck that’s good I’m gonna need three or four more glasses » and tbh same but after the musicals they brought out a drum and let Flo drum for a bit and they did Sur mon nuage then he did Arrête somewhere in there???  Oh and the slow version of Je ne sais pas (which is the better version imo) which he apparently wrote about the girl who dumped him in Canada which I totally didn’t realize.

Then he was winding down the show and did that sped up version of Quoi de neuf which stresses me out because it’s so damn fast and he also kept switching up the lyrics in the chorus???? Like dude wtf I can’t sing along if you keep changing it!!!!

He left the stage afterwards but came back to do another new song whose name I forgot and he tried to teach us the chorus and was like « it’s really easy!! » but I couldn’t understand the words he was singing???? Oh well maybe he’ll release it on his next album whenever that’s happening (which he hasn’t even mentioned another album so I’m not holding my breath lol) then he ended with Qu’est-ce qu’un homme which is such a good song y’all it’s SO GOOD. But y’all when he had his arms around his band members to bow the Floobs were out they were really out there and idk how to process this information.

We headed outside to see about stagedooring and there ended up being two groups of fans at two different exits and we were kind of eying each other trying to figure out who was going to be right and if we needed to rush to the other side but all of the sudden everyone rushed to one of the theatre’s main doors??? So Emily and I rushed along and we were all penguin huddled together and no one really knew what was happening but we were all just waiting while the theatre staff opened the door and let a few fans in at a time.  We finally figured out that we were meeting Flo inside which I thought was nice since that way he wasn’t being crowded by a bunch of fans at the same time.

So Emily and I finally get inside except I’m getting loopy because of lack of sleep and we really hadn’t eaten that much that day either and I was SO CLOSE to deciding I was going to tell Flo I was disappointed he didn’t do any Lost Smile lol.  So the line of fans goes around a corner so we can’t really see what’s happening until we get up close and we can see the dudes that opened the show and we thought Flo would be after them but no you greet Flo first and that’s when my heart started beating real fast I wasn’t fucking ready y’all but we were doing it.

So I finally get up to Flo and he and a staff member are talking about how many people are still waiting and he didn’t quite see me at first when I handed him my ticket to sign and when they’re done talking I quietly say « hi » and Flo finally sees me and y’all he got so fucking excited I was so worried he wouldn’t recognize us but he did!!!!!!!! Even though it’s been almost two years!!!!! He asks us how we’ve been and he seemed so sincere and genuine and so interested like he really did want to know how we had been doing and as he’s signing Emily’s ticket I asked what his cat’s name was and he said he wasn’t saying right now but that he was going to announce it later.  But he did tell us his cat was super sweet and that he didn’t make too much noise in the morning and that he will play fetch like a dog and I was like omg my cat too!!! I’m also 95% sure at some point during this convo I straight up told Flo I love his cat but idk if he heard but he didn’t seem weirded out lol so that was good.  Flo took selfies with me then while he was taking selfies with Emily I said, « The concert was better than Harry Potter » (a reference to the classic « Song For A Lunatic ») and he was trying so hard not to lose it mid-selfie and I’m pretty sure it was the cause of the blep in Emily’s selfies it was so fucking great hahaha then the theatre staff fussed at all of us because we were taking so long but it was so worth it. He thanked us for coming and seemed really sincere about it like it wasn’t in just a « I need something to close this convo with fans » way it was like really genuine and this man and his sincerity will be the death of me.

Emily and I stayed calm until we got outside the theatre then we fucking lost it and screamed at Emily’s mom on the phone while she was at work because FLORENT MOTHE RECOGNIZED US and he had like a substantial conversation with us and he didn’t with the people ahead of us and he smiled SO MUCH in our selfies it was so amazing I feel so validated as a fan like one of my all time fave singers actually knows who I am and I’m dying.

I recorded most of the concert so I’ll post that recording and some pictures and videos later on!!  Damn this turned out wayyy longer than expected lol.

[undeademoprincess]

82 Truths

rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people.

tagged by @hoseokjinns bruh this has been sitting in my drafts for how many eons????

name: Dawn blood type: b nickname(s): Celeste (cousins mainly) and then anything else is adding an e or i sound to the end of my name (tho i have noticed dawners is a frequent name) r/s: dead inside zodiac sign: libruh pronouns: she\her favorite tv shows: dude, i havent seen any tv shows since i was 8, that was well over a decade ago. i collect the dvd/blurays of tv shows but not often. my mother and i are really into futurama but other than that its usually animes that i collect long or short hair: literally lopped my hair off myself like 3 days ago height: 5′5″ do you have a crush on someone: if fictional characters count then yes, the husband list keeps growing and i need another closet to shove them in but real life im fighting a “battle” what do you like about yourself: i have yet to be called annoying or that im an ass to those i love and i support them with all i can, so ive got that going for me right or left handed: right, tho i am ambidextrous over weird ass shit. like gymnastics im left dominate in??? idfk either man list of three favourite colors: literally any color associated with fall/autumn and ill be a happy camper

right now: eating: just ate a cracker that had peanut butter on it cause im munchin hard drinking: sweet h2o man i’m about to: probably go to bed or i might work on my drafts for my writing blog, havent decided yet listening to: a mix about cats, love, breakfast and being tired by in love with a ghost (on youtube) kids: hell no, unless i know i can support the damn thing with all i can while living comfortably along with someone i KNOW wont leave both me and the kid and help me then maybe, but its still a really strong no. pets are fam tho, so technically i have like 5 kids already get married: down for that, annoying someone all the time as a “job” sounds fun, especially if we get late night adventures and do weird ass cooking class shit for fun. ITS IN THE CONTRACT YA KNOW career: i really want to travel the world and get paid to do so, but at my own pace

most recent: drink: water????? idk what you want from me man im a thirsty hoe for livin phone call: been on discord all day today with 2 of my best friends and listening to music with my bot the other half on it song you listened to: lauv reforget (literally just came on) 

have you ever: dated someone twice: no been cheated on: nope, and im not the type to let them get away with it if they ever did kissed someone and regretted it: no lost someone special: yes been depressed: yes, began at a very young age due to the death of my father. literally had a midlife crisis when i was 4 cause of his death been drunk and thrown up: hell no kissed a stranger: no had glasses or contacts: glasses had sex on the first date: no, not really my thing broken someone’s heart: i think so, never really ask how they felt about it afterwards turned someone down: yuuuup cried when someone died: yes fallen for a friend: mmmmm, not really??? i usually crush on an acquaintance and my friends drag them in and somehow become friends later??? 

in the last year have you: made a new friend: uuuuuh, maybe 3??? i dont like leaving my house nor do i like wasting my time on strangers, especially if theyre rude fallen out of love: yeah laughed until you cried: many times, MANY FUCKING TIMES met someone who changed you: uh, i think so??? idk, i kinda find my own flow in life and people either respect it and enjoy the ride with me or fight it, and i dont have the energy to deal with pointless shit found out who your true friends were: ooooh yeah found out someone was talking about you: humans talk, its natural. i dont really do anything but i can see why someone WOULD talk shit if thats what this is asking about kissed someone on your fb list: ew no

which is better: lips or eyes: eyes hugs or kisses: hugs, i like being warm shorter or taller: both have pros and cons romantic or spontaneous: both? both sensitive or loud: idk what the fuck this is asking about but if its about being around people who are loud or sensitive then neither, im sensitive to headaches so loud people irritate me and trigger the pain and ive had bad experiences in person with sensitive people where they dont leave me alone and wind up stalking me???? i love being alone so neither hookup or relationship: relationship troublemaker or hesitant: one can be kinda fun but also a pain in the ass if they get you into trouble a lot and the other might not be as constantly fun per say but at least you shouldnt be in trouble as often 

first: best friend: Samantha surgery: thankfully nothing yet sport i joined: badminton  vacation: everything my parents did was while i was literally an infant soooooo yeah, greaaaaat memories

do you believe in: yourself: not all the time, but i rely on myself more than anyone else. i dont trust anyone for shit when i know damn well i can do it myself and know that if something goes wrong i myself fucked it up and can probably fix my mistake miracles: yes and no, i believe theres a reason for things to happen the way they do, and there are times i see it as miracles love at first sight: i believe in attraction at first sight, not immediately seeing someone soul or some shit heaven: im more for reincarnation and spiritual aspects in life and death

extras: how many people from your fb list do you know irl: 90% of them do you have any pets: im not counting my outside pets because there are too many to even keep track of to count so my children are 5 cats, toto my conure, oz my dog, tubby my gecko, and a beta fish and a catfish do you want to change your name: if i ever did, which i dont want to do, it’d be either Celeste or Aurora (my mom actually debated on calling me aurora after like the disney princess if you will and funny enough shes always been my favorite princess) what did you do for your last birthday: 2 of my friends kidnapped me and took me to dinner and we drove around and looked at interesting things. this years its during ren faire and im so damn happy what time did you wake up today: 9 pm. im sick atm and its really fucking up my sleep schedule  what were you doing last night at midnight: just got out of a call with one of my best friends and sat on my own server for a bit chillin with my music bot before my other best friend joined my after like SIX HOURS, DAMN YOU SIMON something you can’t wait for: ren faire, getting married cause then i get to sweater slap someone and get away with it, and being comfortably happy in life last time you saw your mom: a few hours ago? i went to the kitchen to get my cat to love on her and saw her then what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i had more determination to see things through and not be scared to take the leaps to see it through have you ever talked to a person named tom: i worked in retail, so probably what’s getting on your nerves: a lot of things, mainly petty things. kinda wanna cut a toxic person out of my life but we all know thats easier said than done especially seeing how he talks to literally all of the people i talk with on a daily basis save one soul and he treated her like shit when he talked to her sooo yeah, dunno wtf is his problem but im tired of being the object of his frustration and anger, idk how the rest of my friends deal with his shit but im just so damn DONE

man im not taggin 25 people. if youd like to tag me as a “i found it from so and so” then go for it man, let youre dreams run free friend. im just a lazy sack of shit and am tired and im amazed im still up and that its TAKEN ME A MILLION DAMN YEARS TO DO THIS IM SO SORRY LEANNE

[pinkguacamole]

Choose Your Own Adventure: The Garden Route, South Africa

Another Wrong-Side-of-the-Road-Trip

When I left Afrikaburn, I did not have anything planned. I’d been in the desert for 11 days with no internet. I did not even know when I would be leaving Afrikaburn because the car I���d come in had a bit of a mishap and my friends and I were waiting for a new rental car to arrive. I figured I’d somehow find a place to stay in Capetown when the time was right.

The car arrived late Sunday evening, and on Monday morning, my South African friends Ryan, J, and Monica, and I piled in, sore and dusty, finally leaving the Tankwa Karoo and 11 incredible days behind us. 

On our way back to the “default world,” the dusty road soon became majestic rocky mountains and cell phone reception eventually returned. We ate a gluttonous meal at a very racist restaurant called Spurs. (The theme is Native American -WTF? It is a chain all over South Africa). We just wanted warm food and cold drinks desperately. During the meal, one of my friends, Monica, talked to her dad who has a house in the beach town of Hermanus and he invited us to come to his home and decompress! 

All of us were euphoric to accept the offer. A nice house! With warm showers! A home cooked meal! A beautiful beach town! It was exactly what we needed.

When we arrived at Monica’s family home, we all took time to clean up and relax. Her father loved Jazz and played standards from his iPad all night, urging me to sing along. We ate a traditional South African Braai- a barbecue of many meats and thankfully many vegetarian options as well.  After a night of singing and the color coming back to our chalky cheeks, we all had a nice, hard sleep. 

The next day I did laundry using the family’s washer and dryer (it’s the small victories!) and then Monica’s father drove us around Hermanus, showing us the gorgeous beach scenes from down below, and up above on one of the rocky mountains. It was a perfect day. 

That afternoon, my South African friends had to leave to fly back to Johannesburg and I needed to find a place to stay in Capetown. As I was researching where to go, my Canadian friend Sam, whom I spent a lot of time hanging out with at Afrikaburn, messaged me and asked if I wanted to join her and her friend Josh on a road trip on the Garden Route for a few days. I said I couldn’t be back in Capetown in time. She asked where I was and it turns out Hermanus was on the way! So once my South African friends departed, I waited by the beach for my Canadian friends to scoop me up. Talk about serendipity! 

That evening our team of North Americans drove to a quiet beach town near Agulhas National Park where the Southern-Most tip of Africa is located. We stayed at a sweet Airbnb and attempted to cook canned-food in the microwave. Not too bad. 

The next morning, we walked through Agulhas National Park, along the coast. The pebbled-shore was glowing nicely in the morning light. There was a lighthouse looking out over the point and it shone brightly against a misty view. We found the southern-most tip of Africa and the accompanying landmark, climbed on the rocks, and took some photos. 

Then we drove for a really long time. We saw some elephants along the road at one point! We listened to music that was popular before 2011, because Josh’s phone deleted everything current. There was some One Direction in the mix. It was your typical road trip music…

By late afternoon we made it to Wilderness, South Africa. Yes, that is the name of the town. It wasn’t as abandoned as it sounds, but it was surrounded by gorgeous beaches and dense forest. The afternoon was foggy and we frolicked on the cold and misty beach. It looked so much like my foggy coastal Californian home; it almost made me homesick. 

That evening when we went out for dinner, we met a cool South African guy who was looking to move to Canada. My Canadian friends gave him all the tips he needed and he in turn told us all about Wilderness. 

The next day we entered Garden Route National park. We rented some kayaks and paddled down the Touwsrivier to the waterfall at the end of Giant King Fisher Trail. I was double kayaking with Sam and as we were mostly in-sync, she encouraged me to sing Pocahontas songs while we rolled through the morning haze. My life has pretty much become the musical I always hoped it would be. No complaints.

We hiked through the damp forest at the end of the river and climbed to the waterfall. Everything was beautiful. And everything still reminded me of California. This all looked like Pescadero State Park where I spent my childhood at Girl Scout Camp. 

After we made it back to our starting point and returned the kayaks, we stopped in town for a nice meal and to see our South African friend again. Then we drove off, back west towards the Cape of Good Hope. We continued to gawk at the views along the way. It was sunny now and the beach had a whole new persona. On the way, we had passed through Mitchell’s Plain, which is apparently one of the most dangerous townships in South Africa. It was dark and a bit eerie, but we were fine. 

That evening we arrived in a small town called Glencairn. The name sounds Scottish and the town resembled a northern Scottish fishing village. We were staying at an old hotel that was apparently haunted. Despite the ghosts, it was well-priced and a clean, spacious retreat. There was live music at the bar one night and the guy who ran the place took a special interest in us because we were from out of town. He gave us free drinks as he tried to discuss Donald Trump and America with me. I was so burnt out of this damn conversation and my Canadian friends did a great job defending me. It was bleh. But hey, free drinks… 

On our second to last day of the trip we took it slow. We had a leisurely breakfast at a local cafe and then drove a few minutes into Simon’s Town to see… PENGUINS at Boulders Beach. The penguins were so cute and silly as they waddled around, posing for zillions of photos as hoards of tourists packed along the beach with selfie sticks and DSLRs. 

After we got our fill of adorableness, we continued down the coast to The Cape of Good Hope in Table Mountain National Park. After paying another entrance fee, we drove to the Cape as the weather turned windy and rainy. 

At the Cape, we climbed up on some cliffs but the rocks were slippery and the wind was insane. Then we went back to the bottom to wait as buses of tourists funneled out of the area so we could get a photo with the “Cape of Good Hope” sign. All the important things. 

Then Josh and Sam took a tram up into the mist for some more views as I sat on the edge of the world with some pizza. I was craving melted cheese. So were some of the birds nearby. Not once, but twice, did two birds flap by and grab some pizza right out of my hand. They are pros. I felt like the fat guy from Lilo and Stitch who is always dropping his ice cream. Let’s be real, I am that fat guy.

Once we left the bottom of the world, we stopped in Simon’s Town for a sweet cafe meal and then drove to Long Beach Kommetjie. This was a little beach town covered in white cottages. The beach was spectacular, resting under the glorious mountains of Chapman’s Peak. By this point, we were all becoming over stimulated by the ridiculous amount of INCREDIBLE scenery we had seen in the past few days. We were surrounded by “neature” as the Canadians say. We hopped around taking photos. We were joined for a while by two cute little terrier dogs running on the beach. They were so excited and it was hard to not feel my heart exploding. We left the beach in a satisfied daze.

The next morning we were to return to Capetown, via the Chapman’s Peak road. And my goodness, the views just got prettier from there. The mountains epically sloped into the ocean as a layer of mist hugged each peak. I have hundreds of photos; it was impossible to select 10 for this post. We stopped the car every few feet to take more photos and drink in the majesty. It was absurd. 

We ended our trip with a charming breakfast and Mimosa Toast next to Hout’s Bay. 

That afternoon, I split with the Canadians and moved into a hostel in Capetown in an attempt to process my fantastic and fast-paced month in South Africa and prepare for my travels in Namibia and onward. I organized some photos and ran some errands. I even explored a bit. Luckily I had a hostel dorm all to myself! My solitude didn’t last long, though. Two of my brothers from Peace Corps Madagascar were in Capetown and I went out with them a few times, then on my last day in South Africa, I met an American girl and we visited Table Mountain, one of the prime attractions in Capetown. We took a tram to the top of the windy mountain and spent an hour walking around the top doing my new standard activity of “gawking at grandiose views.” 

Once we’d thoroughly appreciated the glory of Table Mountain and the view of rocky hills, the sea, and the city below, we decided to walk back down. The path was steep and long and rocky, and I was in flip flops… but I am a” super human” -according to many people we passed along the way- (I would have just gone with “stupid and under-prepared…”) But I made it down without any issues!

After some more chill time with some friends, old and new, I packed up my bag to head into the next leg of my trip: Namibia.

My time in South Africa was nothing short of phenomenal. I was completely surrounded by amazing people and scenery every step of the way. It was the perfect “choose your own adventure story” but I learned that I could literally not make any wrong moves in South Africa. Everywhere I went was breath-taking and fantastic. 

Oddly enough though, I felt like I was in a bubble. Traveling in rental cars for days at a time is not how I normally travel. I saw a lot but I felt like I was on “vacation” and I could feel my wallet groaning. I am happy to be on my own, out of South Africa, so I can travel more simply -by taking public transportation and camping and meeting locals along the way.

South Africa has left me feeling revitalized and so excited for the adventures to come. I am feeling completely free and completely in my element. Thank you SA and thank you to all of my wonderful friends that I spent the last month exploring with!

[bruciewayne]

tell me about the stars [7/20]

masterpost

[ao3]

Friday, 21st December

“Come on Stevie-boy, up and at ‘em,” Bucky declared, throwing open Steve’s curtains and tearing back his covers, revealing an annoyed Steve Rogers clad in sweats and a pirated-from-Bucky hoodie. He threw his arm over his eyes, tattoos peeking out from under the sleeve. Stop thinking about kissing every single tattoo he has, god, Barnes.

“No.” Steve pouted, with pink-pink lips, voice rough and hoarse from disuse over the night. Bucky rolled his eyes, fondly, he knew exactly how to get him out of bed (his problems were getting Steve into bed. With him.).

“Stevie, I got you a caramel frap-” his reaction was almost comical: he shot up like a man possessed and made grabby-hands in the general vicinity of Bucky’s voice, god knows how bad his, eyesight was. Bucky, in what was not a good move for his crush admiration, picked up Steve’s glasses from next to a day-old glass of water and slid them onto his face, an incredibly bad move because somehow, it had slipped his mind just how good Steve looked in glasses. Because damn Steve looked good in his glasses.

He hadn’t noticed that they’d gotten closer until Steve blinked up at him, “Hi.”

Bucky swallowed but didn’t move back, “Hey, Stevie,”

“Where’s my coffee?”

Bucky laughed, ducking his head and grinning at him, “Kitchen, your highness,” and Steve pouted again, adorably, “Too far,” he said, decidedly and made to flop back onto his mattress but Bucky, in one swift move, grabbed his arms and pulled him forwards and off the bed. Steve stumbled forwards, into Bucky’s chest. He was muscly and he smelled nice.

Steve, not being a morning person, at all, and it being fucking six am, the sun barely above the horizon and because he hadn’t had any coffee, wasn’t thinking especially straight. As if he could be straight anywhere near Bucky.

And also not fully aware of what he was doing. Or what he was saying.

Meaning he’d said that Bucky was muscly and smelled nice out loud. FUCK.

But Bucky just laughed, it was early, Steve had no idea what he was saying, and tried to tamp down the hope that maybe he actually believed it. He told him to thank his gym membership and Axe. He also told Steve to get dressed and because he needed to go and get the rental, while Bucky took their bags and the presents down twenty million five flights of stairs to ground level because he refused to give Steve an asthma attack.

Even if it meant that the roads of New York were going to be slightly more dangerous because a one Steve Rogers drove like an absolute fucking maniac. Maybe the road trip wasn’t the best idea in that sense, but Steve absolutely refused to step on a plane.

Twenty minutes later, Steve was dressed, his coffee had been drunk, and he’d headed out in the pale, early morning, barely-there winter light to go to the warehouse. Meaning Bucky had about half an hour to go to the art shop, King, on the edge of Brooklyn run by an old Jewish guy, Jack Kirby, that Steve loved.

When he got there, he went in search for the set markers he’d seen Steve linger over the last time they were there, eventually picking brushes and some other things that he’d desperately needed to replace over the markers.

He found them and took them over to the counter, Jack, the owner, greeted him with a friendly smile, they came there pretty often, “Ah, Bucky, it’s good to see you, how’s your boy?” and at Bucky’s confused look, “Steve, skinny little blonde guy,”

“Ohh, uh, we’re not, we’re not together, I mean, we’re still friends, but we’re not together-together, y’know?”

Jack cut off his rambling with a look , the very specific look relatively elderly people give to younger people when they're being particularly oblivious and/or stupid. “Ok, it’s ok, you two always were slow. Anyway, this is for him, yes?”

“Yeah, Christmas present,” a million things flowing through his head, the guy was probably just saying vague, broad, non-applicable to Bucky’s life, statements, the way relatively old people did sometimes. But, could it mean something? Probably not.

“You want it wrapped?” Bucky nodded, pulling out his wallet to pay.

Just as he was about to leave, Jack called out, “Don’t give up on him,” and under his breath, that Bucky just about caught, but maybe misheard, “They’re happy in this one, no alien shit, but still not together, morons”

Yeah, he probably misheard.

He managed to get home in time to take everything down, the subway ride and walk clearing his head, and greet Steve, who pulled up by their apartment block. They put everything in the boot and slammed it shut, the resounding bang barely making a dent in the soundscape of the city.

Steve held out a hand, loosely curled into a fist, “Rock, paper, scissors who drives first.”

Steve won. He grinned and made his way to the passenger side of the car and slid in. Bucky just chuckled under his breath and got into the driver's seat.

Steve had already gotten comfortable, feet up on the dash and fiddling with his phone, connected to the car’s Bluetooth, on Spotify. Bucky set up google maps, and just as they were about to drive off, Steve stopped him, “Wait,” he tapped a couple more things on his phone, “ok...GO!”

He drove off to ‘Fairytale of New York’, and at his confused look, Steve waved his phone, “Shuffle.” Sure why not. Just chance.

They drove in silence, the car filled with Christmas songs from Steve’s playlist, he spent most of the drive sleeping or messing around on his phone.

He was napping when Bucky woke him up, this time by tapping incessantly on his face. “Wakey-wakey Stevie, we’re at a service station,” Steve, without opening his eyes mumbled, “Get me coffee, surprise me,” and slid further down in his seat. “‘Kay, but you’re driving now, so stay awake,” Bucky said, getting out of the car and going into the Starbucks.

Steve stayed as he was for another minute before getting out, stretching, taking a deep breath and getting into the driver’s side. He leaned over the console to get his smaller, A5 sketchbook and a mechanical pencil. He doodled out some ideas, most of them vague concepts, a couple of things that could go in his portfolio.

Exhausted out of ideas, he dated the page and flipped to another one. drawing out ridiculously familiar shapes, tracing out long, curved lines, and short flicks, eventually forming Bucky’s grinning face, his hair up in a man bun, some of it falling out, framing his face. God, he was so whipped.

He saw Bucky walking back, holding two coffees and a bag of cookies, out of the corner of his eye, quickly flipping the page back and pretending to shade and render some of the ideas.

Bucky slid into the passenger seat, handed him his coffee and settled into the same position Steve was in, legs bent at the knee, a was significantly taller than Steve, after all. To the average straight and/or tall person, it might seem uncomfortable, but, as literally, everyone else knows; it was very comfortable.

As soon as Steve finished his coffee (peppermint mocha, he was pleasantly surprised), they were off, driving for another three hours, this time with Bucky napping.

He woke up just before Steve pulled into a Denny’s, “You couldn’t find anything better?” Steve pouted adorably, “I want Denny’s,”

“No one in the history of ever has ever wanted Denny’s. Ever.” Bucky said, incredulously, “next place, c’mon.” Steve looked over at him and then the Denny’s in front of him. He put the car into reverse and pulled out to Bucky’s cheers, god he was adorable.

It took them a couple of minutes until they found a diner, that looked like it was straight out of the 50s. Steve gave Bucky a look, “Good enough?” He grinned and nodded, “Yup,” he paused for a moment, thinking, “hey, Stevie, do you think we should do some more dating practice, I mean, according to Riverdale, diners are meant to be romantic.” Dating practice? wtf Barnes!

“I can’t believe you’re going off Riverdale for romantic ideas, but yes, honey, let’s go have lunch,” Steve said, slipping easily into the role, the pet name falling naturally from his lips, not that he’d been thinking about this since way too long.

They walked into the diner, hands linked, swinging slightly between them. The bell rang out clearly in the pretty quiet diner, there were three pretty big guys, maybe mid-thirties in one corner booth and what looked like a college-aged couple on a date, the way the guy looked at his girl, like she held up his world, and the way the girl looked at him, like he’d saved her from hell, they both looked like they would go to hell and back for each other and although Bucky was pretty sure they were about pre-grad aged, they both looked like they’d been through shit. He hoped that they were happy.

“Babe? Earth to Bucko, Bucky?” Steve waved his hand in front of his face, jerking him out of his thoughts, “what d’ya want?” Bucky, eloquent as always, “Uh,” he looked down at Steve, who was smiling softly at him, eyes filled with laughter, fuck, he was beautiful.

Bucky kept looking down at Steve, unable to tear his eyes away from him, he wasn’t even doing anything spectacular special? How… why...

“Oh. My. God. they’re useless, abso-fucking-lutely completely and utterly shit-stinkingly useless.” Bucky was snapped out of his thoughts for the second time in a minute, but this time by a guy in a red and black mask and a matching suit with... swords? strapped to his back.

“Hey, buddy, you got lost on the way to comic-con?” Oh no.

Steve had turned around and was glaring up at him, but the guy just laughed, “Aw, that’s just fucking adorable, small fry, good to see that’s still the sam-” he got interrupted by a middle-aged, kinda jacked guy with a metal arm, who also looked like he should be at comic-con, the middle-aged guy grumbled about needing to keep ‘Wade’ (he assumed that was the red guy’s name) on a dog leash and pulled him out of the diner, much to Wade’s dismay.

Steve was still angry, so he did what any good fake boyfriend would do, he slipped an arm around his shoulders and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Even though he knew it was for show, the way all of Steve’s anger dissipated and the way he leaned into Bucky, he couldn’t help but think that maybe, just possibly if any of it was just for show.

“I’ll just get you boys the same thing, go grab a booth, it’ll be there in five minutes.” They were broken out of their little bubble by the waitress, they nodded and made their way to a window booth, sliding in opposite each other.

“So, that was strange,” Steve said, leaning across the counter, resting on his elbows. Bucky mimicked him, so they ended up incredibly close, unintentionally, of course. “Yeah, but strange people are everywhere, there would’a been twenty strange people at the Denny’s,” “Yeah, I know but-”

“Here are your burgers, boys and a shake, on the house, to share, young love like yours is something to be celebrated.” They were interrupted by the waitress placing a tray on the table and a vanilla shake, topped with whipped cream and a flake, with two straws.

They both turned, grinned at her, and said “Thanks,” in a creepy sort of synchronisation. She just chuckled under her breath, well used to couples like them. “You’re welcome, enjoy now,” she said warmly, walking away back behind the counter.

They both turned back to each other, yeah, they could sell it.

The rest of their drive passed without any more strange people, although Steve’s perceptions of strange were wildly different to Bucky’s, Steve spent most of his time stabbing people with needles (and not in the life-saving way) on various body parts and Bucky spent most of his time astrophysics-ing at a university.

But even he would say that during the rest of their drive, they didn’t meet any strange, probably-got-lost-on-the-way-to-comic-con people.

It passed in a haze of Christmas songs, a blur of cities and fractions of conversations about Bucky’s family and before they knew it, the hours had flown by, and Bucky was pulling up to his parents’ house.

“You scared?” Bucky asked, turning to Steve, who shrugged, “Do I got any reason to be?” Bucky grinned at him, “Nope,”

“Let’s get this bread.”

The second they knocked on the door, it burst open, and Bucky was gathered into his mom’s arms, to her utterances of “It’s been too long,” and “You look tired,” and “You work too hard.”

She eventually let him go, after he said: “Mom, mom, this is Steve, my boyfriend, remember I told you about him.” She turned towards him “Ohh, it’s nice to meet you, Steve, I’ve heard a lot about you,” Steve shot a look to Bucky, who just shrugged in return.

“Uh, it’s, uh, good to meet you too Mrs. Barnes.” Steve said, suddenly nervous. Bucky’s mom just laughed and pulled him into a hug as well.

“Call me Winnie, dear, or mom,” she said, winking, laughing at them when they turned red, Bucky sputtering and trying to say something about ‘holding off the wedding bells’.

After they’d calmed down, Bucky slid an arm around Steve’s shoulders, kissing him softly on his temple when he leaned into him. Bucky’s mom smiled at them and told them to put their stuff in Bucky’s old room.

“And no funny business in there,” she called after them, laughing at them when they turned red and sputtered again.

Yeah, he’s gonna marry him, she knows her boy well.

[lifewithoutmeds]

october 21st

well well well.

it’s been a few days yah?

so here i sit, having eaten my cheesy eggs and am sipping on my bulletproof coffee.  i have lost 15 pounds in the last few months, 3-4 in this past week, as a direct result of meeting the DJ and wanting to not be such a fat ass, especially as she’s so thin.

so what happened wednesday night?

well, i folded my laundry and looked around and damn it, i was fucking done with my chores and it was only like 9:15 so i straightened my damn hair, put on my cleanest v neck shirt, and drove my ass 30 minutes to northridge.

i walked in to a dimly lit and mostly empty bowling alley.  i think it’s bigger than the glendale bowling alley, at least it felt longer or maybe it was just the emptiness but there were a lot of lanes and only a few were occupied, and there were just a handful of people.  i couldn’t make out where there’d be a main stage or room for karaoke so i wandered around a bit, peeking in at the bar/billiards room, checking out the arcade games, and then finally spotted her in the corner of the bar/billiards room, nervously sat myself at the bar and ordered a club soda and then stared at the menu for a long time before mustering up the strength and courage to go say hi.

so i mosey on over and ask when the karaoke starts and she says something like, “right now if you want to.”  and i’m like oh no, just wondering when other people will start. and then as i sort of pull away i come back and say, I uh met you, last friday at jewel city bowl? and she kind of nods and says, ‘i thought you looked familiar.’ which both disheartened and emboldened me.  i mean what could i have thought? that she had captured my likeness on a tapestry and strung it over her bed?  that she had obsessively stalked me and was waiting to send multiple friend/follow requests via ever social networking app out there?

so then i’m like, ah, something like, ah, the events of that night are a little spotty for me, but i really hope i wasn’t obnoxious or anything, to which she quickly shakes her head and says no, we were just hanging out while i made my spreadsheet.  i nod and then say, are you uh drinking anything? ah you have some water (i spotted a nalgene bottle with presumably water).  and then i said, could i get you like a club soda later?  for later?  and she nods and smiles and accepts, and so then i mosey back to the bar and finish my club soda and order two fresh ones, and just as i’m done sticking the straws into each, she sits next to me so i spin around and offer her her choice of the two, and she takes probably the left one and we sip our club sodas.

and so then what?  so seeing as i walked in at/around 9:45., and we sat and pretty much talked constantly until 11:55, that was a damn near two hours that we just sat and talked and talked.  she touched my arm three times.  (heart eyes).  she said she had two full brothers and two half brothers, that she had gone to school in Boulder for Fine Arts, that she made $500/month doing the DJ bowling thing, that she had considered stripping for additional money (which made me very sad which made her chuckle).  we just had a really really lovely conversation.  she talked about camping and how she had a sleeping bag and a load of firewood in her car at this minute, and i talked about how i was making these egg carton firestarters and google imaged them to show her and we talked about different places we had camped, and how she usually goes camping on her birthday, november 24th, which tends to fall on thanksgiving, because everyone else is occupied and that this year she was going to death valley and i said isn’t it cold now and she kind of paused and said yeah, but the person with whom she was in a ‘rapidly deteriorating relationship’ with wanted to go, so they were going, to which i did a double take and said something like, i’m sorry, WHo’s birthday is this for?  to which she nodded and i felt my heart go out to her.

so yhea, basically the best case scenario happened.  no one really came to sing karaoke, and a couple times i’d sort of ask does she need to work, does she need to check on the playlist, to which she’d sort of shrug and say, i have a seven hour playlist, or, they’ll find me if they need me.  whenever someone came to the bar she would sort of turn towards them and sort of seductively ask if they were interested in singing and when they’d say, ‘oh yhea, maybe later,’ she’d smile and turn back to me.  

she was so.  mesmerizing.  i couldn’t take my eyes off her, except when she mentioned stripping and then, crushed, i had to look away, and she said something like, ‘that’s cute, how that bothers you.’

i don’t know what to make of it.  i’m pretty sure she's straight or mostly straight.  she mentioned being married and she talked about stuff like guys always hitting on her and asking for her number and how it’s difficult to play pool without being constantly harassed by guys and i saw a fb picture of her with a guy so it seems she’s pretty straight, but that doesn’t really deter me oddly.  i just kind of want to be near her, around her.  it’s like she has a certain magnetism and i’m shocked that she doesn’t have like legions of fans that follow her every move.  it’s not like the DJing per se is the best, i mean, i don’t know much about it but she plays songs and they seem to transition well enough but like her deep husky sonorous voice, and her face, and her smile, and her not-smile.  just every movement she makes is like mind-blowing.  i saw her turn around and walk towards the DJ station and sort of unconsciously flip her long blond hair in a quick snap and it damn near took my breath away.

i am so fucking enthralled with this girl.  she has the brownest eyes and the darkest eyelashes and pretty blond hair, which is a sort of odd combination seemingly.  and she’s so thin and yet curvy.  and her voice.  i can’t get over her damn voice.  and her words!  she’s so articulate and like .... self-assured.  she says that in acting she likes the older roles but it’s difficult because she looks younger than she is, but really she acts much older than she is too.  she has like an old soul, or maybe she’s just been through a shit ton of life but there is a sort of ..... wisdom that she has, like she’s seen a lot.  i dunno.  but her diction is excellent and when i casually used the word “dither,” she kind of paused and said, “that’s a good word.”  it’s like she appreciates these nuances of speech.  it like stirs and warms up my heart to think about her.

ANYHOO

so after two hours of chatting and being slowly enveloped in her mesmerizingness, it became 11:55 and she sort of turned and said it was time for her to pack up, so i saw her walk over to the DJ station and start shutting down.  i was going to wait until she came back and then i thought of either walking her back to her car or just sort of saluting a goodbye so that she could do her usual close-out routine with the employees/regulars, and i wouldn’t just be this obsessed hovering weirdo, and as i thought of how this would play out and which scenario would be best, i realized that time was passing, that the bartenders were locking up all the alcohol, and i was just sitting at a bar by myself with my pretty much empty club soda and an increasingly intense need to use the restroom (i had had three club sodas, after all), and that she had sort of slipped into some hallway (perhaps the employee’s bathroom), and i had this second of like wtf do i do.  so i waited another half minute, didn’t see her, then thought i’d go to the bathroom and then swing by again, but i guess i made a left turn instead of a right turn and instead of the bathroom i found the exit and then i was like shit do i turn back or just head to my car so i headed to my car and then sort of sat there for a minute thinking she’d run out, head spinning, looking for me, but of course she didn’t, and after a minute i drove home quickly and peed and then knocked out literally delirious, and i could hear myself talking aloud and responding to things that weren’t really being said.

so yhea.  that’s how the night fucking ended.  like fucking cinderella i took off before midnight but unlike cinderella did not leave any type of calling card for her to find me with.  

so thursday i go to work, i talk to everyone who will listen and pretty much everyone is both horrified that i went to the bowling alley and shocked that i ended up just chatting for 2 hours and then disappointed that i somehow left without a phone number or some future plans of meeting up.  afterwards, i meet up with DG for happy hour (sans alcohol for me) and i tell her everything, EVERYTHING, and i tell her that i want to go friday night again and see this DJ and she says NO NO NO ABSOLUTELY NOT keep a lid on things don’t be all crazy you are too much it is too much but really do what you want since you will anyway.  and so i tell her and DL that i’m thinking of going on friday and i’ll be bringing the fire starters that i had made earlier on friday and they’re all like NO NO NO DO NOT BRING ANYTHING DO NOT BRING GIFTS IF YOU HAVE TO GO GO EMPTY HANDED FOR THE LOVE OF GOD but i’m like too bad i’m bringing the damn things.  and i throw out a group text to see if anyone wants to go bowling at 9, i get one response, and there i go again with the showering and blow drying and the hair straightening and i nicely package up my little fire starters and my buddy CL comes over and we drive over and put in my name/number to request a bowling lane and we sit at the bar and we wait. 

and we wait.

and it is 9:00.  around 9:15 we get our lane.  we bowl.  i watch.  we wait.  it is 9:30.  we bowl.  i watch.  i look at everyone walking around.  i do not see her.  i ask someone if there’s a DJ tonight and they say yhea, but she’s running a little late, should be here around 10:00.  i am encouraged.  we bowl.  around 9:45 i swing by the front desk because one, our lane has blacked out, and two, where the heck is the DJ, and she says, oh, he’s normally here at 9:15/9:30 but he’s running late.  he, i ask?  and the girl says hold on she’s not sure who’s here tonight.  she’ll find out.  so i go back to the lane thinking she just doesn’t know what the hell is going on and she comes over a few minutes later and says, “it’s edgar.  he’s new.”  and i am crushed.  but a part of me still thinks, maybe she doesn’t know what the hell is going on, it’s friday night she was here last week i’m pretty sure she told me she would be here this week and there’s just been some confusion that’s all.

but then i hear what sounds like new music and i don’t see her, and i am crushed and i ask CL if she wants to do another game and she asks if i do, and i say no, not really, i’m ready to go home.  on the way out we stop at the bar so CL can close out her tab and i’m like, oh hey bartender, i don’t know if you remember me but i was here last week and she’s like, oh yhea, i thought i recognized you.  and i’m like i’m just drinking club soda for a month, kinda got a bit out of hand last week, i don’t remember much and she’s like oh yhea, you were here with that large group of women, right?  oh yhea you were like out of it.  and i was like yhea i heard that i was comatose or talking to the DJ and she’s like, yes, you talked to the DJ quite a bit and when you were sitting you were sort of completely zoned out and unresponsive and i tried calling your name but you were like not there, like there but not there.  and i’m like i’m so sorry and she's like NO NO you weren’t like obnoxious or anything just very quiet and spaced out.  and so i said sorry again and thank you and see you next time.

and i see this DJ. this youngish black dude that is not HER, and i leave with CL, disappointed, but also a little relieved, because man, i KNEW it was too much too soon but i also couldn’t help myself and her lack of presence sort of saved me.  and i asked CL if it was ok to ask when the next time she’d be DJ-ing and she said no no no walk away, the front desk will tell her that some creepy girl is asking for her and she’ll know it’s you and i’m like i’m ok with the world knowing and she just shook her head as we walked through the parking lot and was like, nope, you will scare her off.  and i was like, oh ok then.  nothing to jeopardize this tenuous whatever this is.

so yhea.  that was last night.  i came home around 10, and CL took off as she had to drive to Santa Barbara early in the morning and i was no longer in a feeling of frenzied anticipation and/or socialization.  and i wondered what to do with the rest of my night but i think i just laid down and sort of slept.

but yhea.  i know it’s a good thing i didn’t see her because wednesday and friday of the same week are too close together, and with a present of sorts two days later .... it is too much.  it is.  i get it.  so yhea.  good thing.  i just wish on wednesday we had left on better terms, that we had had a proper goodbye, that we had closure.  because i left weirdly.  i should’ve stuck around, or gone to the bathroom and gone back to look for her, but i just got nervous and awkward and the idea of having to use a seedy bowling alley bathroom at midnight just seemed so unappealing all of a sudden.

anyhoo.  so there we have it.  that’s where it is now.  i’ll likely come back next week, same time, same place.  i’m disappointed, but not crushed.  i understand that she’s desirable not just to me but practically everyone, and as such unobtainable to most, and that includes me.  and to just look upon her as an object to be desired and infatuated with is moderately unhealthy and ultimately so unfulfilling, and i get that, and i’m calm about it, but i do want to see here again, and regularly, if possible.

anyhoo.  today is Saturday.  CD is supposed to come over later to hang, and then we’re going to eat some kbbq which i had really used to like but is no longer conducive to my starvation diet of sorts and will slow down my weight loss goals, but ..... i guess it��ll be ok and i’ll just try to practice self control and not eat myself into a vomiting spell as per usual.  after that JB from work might swing by.  she mentioned a wine night but i told her i wasn’t drinking for a bit but she said we could do it anyway without wine, which i’m not sure how that would be, but whatevs.

[sh-lan]

last winter quarter mumbles...

First day of winter quarter: Only one class! #yas #nolab Also secret santa with the house! The circle: Me -> yuri -> vania -> leighton! Also i think i’m sick… EDIT: I AM SICK FUUU

cogs 187b - random groups pls kill me side note, there’s this guy that looks like jeff and i keep thinking that it’s him but it’s not so it’s super awkward when i stare just 0.1 seconds too long

damn what a wild morning i literally. cannot. with. my. body. this. first. week. #mlkday EDIT: in case i forget, i had like the worst case of food poisoning i have ever had in my life

bruh like i basically had a 4 day weekend cause i’m hella fuckin weaksauce these first two weeks wot is life side note: retreat was fun! and also lake arrowhead that we’ve been going to? IS WHERE THEY GET ARROWHEAD WATER i’m deceased. today i learned

y’all i can’t believe bts is going to have a comeback in february also i can’t fckin believe that the army bomb v2 has its own teaser photo bighit is so extra

Omg i fucked up one of my eyebrows …time to grow it out and then get it fixed

i think i’ve literally been living under a rock how did i miss the fact that mom literally has THE BEST matcha latte ever on campus? wtf what a concept

I somehow managed to get a free trial for BTS channel+ 아싸! Things are starting to look uphill from here cause my ded self is risin’ Bless

8am on thursday of week 2 woke up at 7:20 by yuri - the time i was supposed to leave gg to the both of us for not waking up omg LOL we got to school late but that’s besides the point i should probably get some waterproof jeans or something lmao

when you don’t think your stomach is strong enough to handle coffee just yet but everything in mom smells hella fckin good

sometimes…why…can’t…you…think?!?!?!?!?! #struggles

OMFG army bomb v2 changes color everybody go home wtf this is great #goodbyemoney

missed the army bomb v2 preorder, got sold out cause we waited too long :< EDIT: OMFG I CHECKED THE ANAHEIM TICKET PAGE JUST FOR KICKS AFTER MY SHOWER AND THIS GURL WAS LIKE THE BOMB IS GOING IN AND OUT OF STOCK AND I WAS LIKE HAHA NO WAY. so i went to check it and OMFG IT WENT BACK IN STOCK SO I WAS LIKE OMFG VANIA DO WE DO IT and we did it and it has been done there is no going back this is happening we bought the army bomb lol and immediately after i preordered it, it went back to being temporarily out of stock again wow wot is life

Thursday week 2 I didnt realize i was awake since 7:20 today…my brain thought what happened this morning were events from yesterday

The rain is so real. Almost skipped discussion. Good thing i didnt :O

BTS comeback on feb 13th Preorder starts jan 25th Im fuckin ded i just bought the lightstick Im hollerin

fml both versions of the album are my aesthetic i want to cry

omfg why did tumblr change the tags into bolded font TERRIBLE

Lol omg i was gonna go to sleep but then someone logged onto the monsta x plus channel and i was like i wonder who it could be AND IT WAS KIHYUN so i stayed lul wot

내 미래를 향해 가 저 푸른 바다와 내 헤르츠를 믿어 Hey oh, oh hey oh yeah #rediscoveringlyrics #andfallinginlove

really debating getting the bts album(s) but i shouldn’t because money because i should pay for my trip because i should have priorities EDIT: i got them

omg i want to die i just sent out like 3 job applications with the wrong dates on the cover letter shoot me

this girl straight up braiding her hair in the seat infront of me but dropping her hair onto my laptop SMH

but like why doesn’t pokemon go work on my phone anymore?????

daily reminder to take one step at a time

been pampered by coffee on campus that starbucks taste real shitty

LUNAR NEW YEARRRRRRR #year2kbbq Lol omg so we decided to have a house dinner. And then we were like ok korean food and so we ended up deciding to go to kogi! So we were like it dun matter if we go to happy hour since it happens after 9pm but lol we got there around 8:20 but ended up waiting until like 9:30 anywayssss. Dinner was so great i ate so much meat tbh i dont even know whether or not i need to eat tmr LOL Then we drove home at like 11:30…and sat in our garage from 12 to 12:30 because we were too lazy to move from the car HAHA WHO R WE Also apparently, according to yuri and vania, we had the same waiter as last year and lel LEAVE IT TO US TO GIVE HIM HIS NEW YEAR GREETINGS HAHA. And here i am in bed with the biggest food coma. Let me end this with some season’s greetings lol 새해 복 많이 받으세요. 祝大家新年快樂！ 生體健康、學業進步、年年有餘、and most importantly 心想事成! ✨

I just got three bug bites on my ankle out of nowhere like???

after thinking long and hard, vania and i pre-ordered the albums today #goodbyemoney

why do i always find live streams for bts things at inopportune times??

i really still can’t get used to the way my vis60 professor lectures. she pauses at the weirdest times and emphasizes the most inopportune words… “i can think of. Perhaps - the most different. contrasts” ”the decisions. to make. something.” like…that is so hard to understand at 8am…

y’all i can’t wait to watch all the run BTS videos i’m so excited

Nervous about tomorrow but also excited about tomorrow I hope everything goes well! #interviewtime

bighit literally has no chill right now i thought concept 2 photos were going to come out a week later but then BAM IT HITS US IN THE FACE ONE DAY AFTER ANOTHER

2/2/2017 A day full of stufffs #praying #hoping #maybethingswillworkout Honestly, super thankful that my AB experience prepared me for group activities and on-spot presentations lOL (but like lowkey doe this one guy would have failed my group activity if he was interviewing for my trip smh) ALSO I MADE FRIENDS ;____; but i only managed to add one of them on fb, i should’ve added the other guy too *crying* but that’s ok. if fate has it, we’ll see each other again lel. EDIT: daily reminder that we fall down just to get back up

Bruh photography class got me like ??! CAUSE INCLEMENT WEATHER AND I SHOULDVE JUST TAKEN PHOTOS YESTERDAY I’M SUCH A NOOB

i made my own wintermelon tea and then my own wintermelon milk life is ok and going good

today yuri and i saw violin guy while we were sitting outside of ledden and i may or may not have freaked out too hard and he may or may not have noticed lol

watching hwarang and thinking wow park seo joon has come far since his dream high 2 days lololol

I saw a really cute ring on etsy Debated for a few days and …i bought it

I lost the little screw in my car key gg

Went hiking today with part of my group! It was lovely and 6 miles and now i’m tired hnngh

omg everyone park seo joon released his own version of that tears song for hwarang and it is like actually one of my favorite songs from the soundtrack HNNNGH

lowkey getting overly excited about hwarang ost fklewjafkelwa

This guy behind me straight up talking about how there’s some kind of apocalyptic event every century and how after each event, stability is restored. He was telling his friend to….create an apolyptic event right now to restore stability. I’m boutta flip a shit LOL WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT IT BETTER BE SOME FICTION NOVEL

Week 5 meeting MY AND HARRY’S FIRST FULL MEETING HOW EXCITING I LOVE IT

omg my professor is cancelling class on feb 14th and omfg BLESS NOT HAVING AN 8AM AND ALSO I CAN STREAM BTS CAUSE COMEBACK. LIFE IS GREAT. EDIT: no streaming because the first time they perform will be at the concert omg so shookt

not to be petty but i checked the revision history to see how much work my team members did and this one guy (who didn’t contribute last time either) did one slide and all he did was add the title somebody hold me back why do i always have teammates where i need to carry #hardcarry해 #smh

I fucked up by updating the messenger app smh

Finally got my tdap booster today It hurts Like an itchy mosquito bite Smh

y’all i was so shookt when i woke up to not today’s teaser OMFG JFKELAJFKELSJA IT’S GONNA BE LIT

I woke up at 7:30 on a sunday morning to watch the spring day music video and i’m so shookt by the edting and the song almost made me cry because lyrics And there’s the whole theory where they’re dedicating this song to the sewol accident and i just ;____;

그래 우리는 extra Omg i cant believe rapmon said that LOL SO ICONIC MY LIFE MOTTO FOR THE NEXT MONTH

when i first heard not today, i wasn’t really feeling it much since i feel like the teaser hella hyped it up but now i’m hella feeling it this is fire 2.0 LOL

ALICE CAME TO VISIT week 6 weekend Sushi ota on thursday night - BLESS NO MEETING HAHA Friday night bbq with the same waiter from lunar new year LOL he spoke to me in korean omg i almost forgot how to speak? Saturday morning cowles hike! And then….boba…and then ded Sunday didnt see alice ): but das ok i got to just rest and do a bit of hw

why 왜 為什麼 為何我做的事你也要跟著做 Side note. Why is the font size inconsistent for my chinese keyboard ???

Dont like the new gmail But it’s not actually new cause im just a noob for not updating Sigh

ARMY BOMBS HAVE SHIPPED. I REPEAT. ARMY BOMBS HAVE SHIPPED.

i had a dream that i was on a korean show or something and then i got assigned to sit next jungkook (omg it was like not up to me but then i was like holy shit holy shit?) and then we took a trip to the grocery store to get snacks? but like the thing i wanted was too high for me to reach so he grabbed it for me? but then somehow we ended up exchanging kkt somewhere in the grocery store lmfao what kind of dream is this but then his managers chased him down because he’s not supposed to do that or something? oh well LOL wut EDIT: who am i

i accidentally swallowed some toothpaste this morning

fml i just saw spoilers for hwarang EDIT: OMG SO DANGEROUS I ALMOST JUST SAW ANOTHER ONE AND NOW I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. NEED TO UNFOLLOW THE TAG FOR NOW

han got me pizza and a shitton of parmesan bites for valentines day :> happy child

man holy shit ep18 of hwarang had too much shit i cannot process

omg i’m gonna die park seo joon is so cute in she was pretty

omfg i was JUST wondering if park seo joon would have to go to the military qq BUT HE ALREADY WENT!!!!!! side note: i told vania i was going to finish she was pretty in two days and i really finished it in two days…

Week 6 Thursday ARMY BOMB IS HERE! #yas in retrospect, should’ve just bought the albums from the official shop cause who knew they were paying for EMS cause dayum, my army bombs got here in 3 and ½ days. SHIET so excited it’s lit

Seventeen’s lightstick hands down the prettiest lightstick i ever seen omg

i need to stop this whole “treat yo self” mentality went to return pants to zara that cost 42.99 walked out of f21 with 42.09 worth of clothes lol wtf BUT THAT FREAKING 65% OFF ON TOP OF THE ALREADY MARKED DOWN PRICE? i got three things for $9.10 omg bless? but that one other jacket i got was 29.90 ): is it worth it? eh we’ll see however, i would’ve stayed if it weren’t for my yogurt in the car…and actually shopped a lot LOOOL it was so worth then i came out to a storming STORM GOD SO MUCH RAIN but now i’m home and dry and happy

i’m sitting here streaming the bts wings tour in seoul and getting highkey emotional it’s 1:30AM what is life when bangtan is life

WEEK 7 HAN CAME TO VISITSSSSSSS

unbelieveable han puts me on do not disturb on his laptop SMH

hello but can we talk about the not today mv HOLY SHIT not as fire as fire but still so JKLFJEKLSJF there are so many things in this mv that are just. omg i cant side note - i made han watch it with me LOL

tae and rapmon’s headband look jungkook’s pink highlights yoongi’s blue highlights what’s not to love

highly likely to go blind cause of vis 60

really been craving strawberry milk …and thai food

gonna give up sugary drinks until the end of this quarter *gasps* goodbye amazing tasting coffee drinks T^T

my arms are so sore from the spam musubi making fuuuuuuu

i forgot harry was only 19 and then i was like omfg jungkook is still only 19 too wut

thanks to jungkook, i have finally pinpointed one of my more or less favorite genres: tropical house…which han apparently doesn’t like LOL

Want 족발 Must go to grandma’s lunch on a weekday qq

Rewatching fire mv Why are they ironing jin at the behinning Suga has fake freckles? Why does 1thek have 5 million ads/links

Spam musubi and 8am got me so tired I went to sleep at 12am Why is it that when i go to sleep early, nothing happens in my social life and everything happens in bts life While when i sleep late, everything goes on in social life but nothing in bts life????

The world does feel really slow when you’re in a rush

dreading the photography critiques sigh

Stayed up to stream mcountdown because lol why not right? Even though i have an 8am…. NOT TODAY PERFORMANCE WAS SODIJWWJDIWK FUCKING JEON JUNGKOOK WINKING AT THE END HOW RUDE wtfbbq And also spring day choreography got me feeling some typa way? Shiet….maybe i can learn this…maybe ALSO ONG won that 1st place by a landslide WE ARE A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH y a s

Just realized that there’s no “winking” emoji without the kiss What even Also i just unconsciously winked at my phone while looking for the wink emoji… Imagine the possibilites of face detection to emoji translation. Texting would be so much faster #busthoughts

omfg i was like where am i gonna ever use my bts cd ON THE CAR DUHHHHH!!

REALLY DREADING GOING INTO REVIEW ON MONDAY BECAUSE PICTURES WERE NOT GOOD FOR PROJECT 3 want to crawl into a hole why didn’t i take this class p/np lmao who am i EDIT: everything is ok she actually didnt hate them

Feels so great to not do anythingg this weekend??? Omfg But yo i literally slept from 8pm till 10am almost 11 and if that doesnt scream me i dont know what else does

i bought a “day old” pastry from mom today and it’s an espresso mocha chocolate chip scone thingy and i’m in loveeee

waiting for packages from korea to come~ no EMS is sometimes a pain~ we’ve been too pampered by amazon prime~

Feeling a little discouraged BUT i’ll stay positive!

I mean I can technically go to those concerts in japan Technically

Omfg leave me forever incapable of closing my water bottles correctly? SMH PLS DONT

Found out that my photography TA is 26. Das like alice age And also her first phone was the peanut looking motorola LMFAO CAUSE ME TOO

봄이왔다~ 春天到了~ CAUSE IT’S MARCH AND THE WEATHER IS REALLY NICE and i’m, for some reason, in a really good mood. it could be the music but it could also be the weather ahhhh this feels nice :>

Omg my ring from etsy finally came!! GREETINGS FROM SPRING AMIRITE After a whole month ;___; it finally got here on march 2nd Ugh but it’s so nice and pretty i’m about to die And it really was made to order! That’s crazy. It’s so cute and adorable If only their stuff wasnt so expensive I would buy like everything

When the right volume for your music is right in between the button volumes so you gotta manually slide the thingy VERY carefully

OUR KOGI WAITER WE JUST SAW OUR KOGI WAITER AT PC OMFG

Issue night: “I dont know how they had time to come up with an acronym (USA PATRIOT) maybe they were in shock or something….(from 9/11)” LOL “Lowkey sus” - Abe [the babe]

cooked curry with everything today reaffirmed that i dont like carrots that much

Debating getting more rings on etsy HNNNNGH struggle is real

I saw a license plate the other day that said “NUTELLA” and the same “UOUOUOU” car parks in peterson all the time lol

Had a dream that i met jungkook while checking out the bts schedule with vania Like the schedule said that they just had a fan meeting and they were gonna walk around the area and their fans could follow them or soemthing And i was like shit but do i wanna do that and vania was tryna convince me…but i thought that there would be too many fans so… And then jungkook fckin pops outta nowhere and somehow we got talking and ended up somewhere? Like their dorm or something And we were just browsing through army pictures of them and whatnot And then he was being all kinds of diff “kook” where he was a fangirl kook…and then regular jungkook where he “kissed” me on the cheek it was weird Dont remember the rest cause i woke up LOL EDIT: i think i wrote this while still being half asleep please excuse my fangirl tendencies LOLOL

Omg the kettle cooked jalapeno chips are so good wtf Dangerous

want to watch hyungsik’s new drama but i shouldn’t i shouldn’t

jungkook’s look in the spring day dance version is so boyfriend i cant

oh yeah how did i completely forget to mention that my week 8 was pretty much entirely occupied by yuri on ice!! after freaking week 7 annoying ass shit with everything due that week wow what a struggle

rewatching haikyuu!!

I. AM. SO. EXCITED. TO. READ. AEOE. AHHHHHH if only i could find the third book of the series as well )): qq EDIT: TIFF FOUND IT. bless her soul

March 6th The one day i decide not to check the mail THE ALBUMS COME IN A PACKAGE BY THE FRONT DOOR VANIA CAME HOME AND WAS LIKE AHHHHHH it was definitely a “shut the front door” moment Also onfg we took forever going through the album and just freaking out Vania got rapmon and jungkook photocards While i got jhope and jungkook photocards In retrospect, it was shipping like on feb 20th and took only around 2 weeks to get here so i would say that was pretty damn great Ugh they’re so beautiful why We also got random photocards created by kpopmart so those were a nice gift! I put them on my wall and kept one in my card holder thingy LOL I also put up a standee on my desk Now where to put the posters 🤔 HA It was a nice surprise :>

Lmao the recruiter called me this morning at 8:30AM but our call was supposed to be at 11:30AM, i’m surprised i even woke up It’s a miracle i even stuttered through that phone screen #shetotallymissedthepart #whereiwrote #PST

Craving chocolate milk and i neglected to get that On the otherhand, i spent around 21 bucks at trader joes getting all the healthy foods that i love AND ALSO STRAWBERRY YOGURT O’S THAT WERE JUST MY AESTHETIC EDIT: ok but like not only were they aesthetically pleasing, they also taste great. also the fact that they’re just a bit fatter means that they’re crunchier and takes a lot longer to get soggy in milk im in love

You know what they say When you crave choco milk You been traveling through time and space

had a one on one with harry at k cuisine today definitely gonna find time to go back and eat more chicken glad harry wanted to eat korean chicken and i actually had a place in mind also they were playing so many kpop songs that i knew and all the goblin songs were getting me real emotional lmao

Hnngh they’re gonna sell merch at the bts wings concert What is gonna stop me from buying shit if there’s actually enough stock Im ded EDIT: jk i cant believe that official merchandise goes on sale on march 9th aka tmr because korea time and like wtf ok bighit just let our wallets die and wither away smh i cant

Gonna have to hold off on buying rings or not buying them at all because bts merch ;___;

omg but ?? the video that jungkook made yoongi was so damn cute? also…editing on point… EDIT: i would fall in love with editing because it’s the damn iphone 7 promotional video that apple made. wot is lifeeee omggg that was crazy (why don’t i keep up with current trends? where was i??)

lol watching all the wings md getting the little “temporarily out of stock” red sticker haha

JK got new piercings right where i wanted to get them please stop tempting me i already told my dad i wouldn’t ask again hnngh

omg i had thai food for the first time in forever~ (ok realistically like week 3 but like still)

all these photos from the concert im ded because how do people have the money to go to multiple concerts esp in different countries? (aka headliner…) tumblr is too distracting

i broke my comb that one weekend that leighton went to irvine…because i dropped it on the floor…i was, to say the least, shocked weekend before week 10, i finally bought a new comb lOL

GOT7 never ever thoughts Yugyeom’s voice hit me in the face Choreo at the beginning looks nice I dont know how i feel about the chorus doe Wait. Yugyeom cant happen to me because omfg jungkook but wait they’re such a killer bffl pair fml

new highlight song got me shookt because…..b2st will always be <3 in my heart esp yoseob’s vocals

i’m having another watch phase dammit

actually really like bap’s comeback this time side note: harry calls it “bap” like “bop” but with an A. LOL

Day of daylight savings Couldnt sleep Reading AEOE Didnt sleep til 5am And now skipping 101b What needs saving is obviously my body not the daylight

When you realize out all the current playlists made on spotify, your music taste is closest to jin’s LOL

Week 10 tuesday Broke my retainers D: EDIT: got an appt with an ortho because need to get them imprints before my teef get shifted but holy shit dude it’s $350 for one retainer im ded. And i called 4 different places and it just keeps going higher and higher im

sharing opinions in photography class is hard because i can’t words

GLOW. IN. THE. DARK. RETAINERS. #gottagetmoneysworth

do you ever do that thing on facebook where you’ll be like “i’ll just scroll to a place where a video stops playing” but then the moment the first video stops, another comes into the browser and starts playing oh wait oh my god THEY MUST HAVE BUILD THEIR PAGE TO BE RESPONSIVE TO THE SIZING OF THE WINDOW SO THAT THAT WOULD HAPPEN AND THUS IT WOULD KEEP PEOPLE SCROLLING ON FACEBOOK facebook is evil everyone

too loud -_-

Discovering a tiny mole on jungkook’s nose

i can’t believe i’m sick for the 3rd time this quarter body r u ok also…runny noses aren’t fun my nose is literally leaking can barely reach for a tissue in time smh

i just saw a spoiler for the run bts episodes -_- tumblr is never safe

It’s hard to believe that i’ll be leaving for my trip in 4 days It’s hard to also believe that after that, vania and i will be heading over to see bts Oh man This is exciting

Flood warnings in peru making me have high blood pressure #pleaseleteverythingbeok

my trip got cancelled i am in shock still

Im so numb I think im ready to pass out

I broke one of the little feet thingies on my charger…. SMH

I feel broken But Getting it back together Currently on do not disturb

lol.....gonna end this one on a somewhat sour note because that’s actually how the quarter ended. spring break was a week full of shit as well. however, it was also a week full of healing and self love - as much as i can give myself for that matter

so we’ll leave it here. last winter quarter of my college career - one of the most busy in terms of AB life and one for the books for all the shit that has happened. i really wish that #adversity won’t be associated with this forever but looks like it’ll be related to this for a while. lOL.

moving right along~ things I can look forward to: spring break mumbles, last quarter mumbles! #staysane #staypositive