#literally thought this to myself today many times | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

orchidyoonkook · 11 months

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missing yoongi hours 😞

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😞 Yeah…

#literally thought this to myself today many times #i was going on a Instagram binge of old yoongi videos and just smiling to myself missing him #i hate that he is leave if longer then the others but I know we’ll be okay ♥️#asks #✨Anon #ms.mailbox 📬#House of Min

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your-subby-creature · 1 year

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Yall ever cry (/pos) because of how much you care about the people you've met on kinky tumblr or is that just me?

#Creature rambles #creature is having big feelings #but like i have so much love in my heart for all yall #and im so grateful for all the people ive met and all the ppl i will meet #special shoutout to my phenomenal Dom who ill have been subbing for for 5 months on thr 27th #which is mindblowing to me and not something i thought id ever *ever* get to have #and to all my mutuals i love yall sososoSOso much #double shoutout to the person who made me fanart the other day i have literally no words to describe how flattered i am #love you and your art soSOsomuch #yeah i just...idk i used to describe myself by saying “i care about everything all the time” but in this case i care about everyONE always #ALSO PPL IN MY ASKBOX YOU ARE JOYS IN MY LIFE I WILL GET TO YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE IM SO SORRY #BUT ITS 1AM HERE AND IVE ANSWERED SO MANY ASKS TODAY AND IM EEPY #BUT I LOVE YOU AND VALUE EVERY ASK AND WANT TO DO IT JUSTICE I PROMMY ILL GET TO THEM

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triglycercule · 19 days

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i am severely upset at the sexyman polls for this year. yeah its absolutely because im biased and not a single one of the mtt won. but killer vs error is still going on you say!!! NO,,,,, killer's lost,,,,, its 70 error 30 killerISH so yeah,,,,, none of the mtt MADE!!!! IT!!!! and with the boom in killer content these past few months i wasSO FUCKING SURE that he'd like AT LEAST get higher up. nope. because of ERROR. listen i like him. he was my og bias when i first joined this fandom. i was an error fanatic. but bro,,,,, bro,,,,,,,,, killer,,,,, lost,,,,,, AND FUCKING HORROR AND DUST LOST TOO!!!! LIKE WHAY. WHAT. PUTTING HORROT AGAINST ERROR AND DUST AGAINST CROSS!!!! THEYRE LITERALLY BOTH THE TWO GUYS THAT (1/2 of them) WON LAAT YEAR!!!! OF COURSE THEYRE GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE MTT!!!!! this is very upseting im really sad imMAD. but no point in being a sore loser.... mtt won in my HEART 🧡

dust laughing at both horror and killer for getting the shit beaten out of them by error and then they bring up the fact that he lost to CROSS. this is the second time someone in the mtt lost to cross (theyre all making out in the loser's room) (mtt poly real btw)

#sexyman polls but instead its all just mtt and peoples' aus and varients #i COULD NOT be able to vote. it would be hell for me WHO WOULD I CHOOSE #i CAN'T choose dude i literally wouldn't be able to at all #do i vote for og mtt my pookies??? or jk mtt my besties???? or mst my children????? WHO DO I VOTE FOR #i think i would be biased to the murder swap trio. i haven't mad any content for them at all but like #i spent my TIME and EFFORT into them. and they are cool ngl i really like their concepts #too bad swapinverse isnt seeing the light of day until goddamn 2026 or something because i cant be bothered to make content of it #oops! savior mania paranoia you guys are JUST FOR ME. just me only! nobody else gets to see you guys #or literally anyone else in swapinverse.... i love swapinverse.#they need to make the tag limit like 60 or something i have too many thoughts #quite a few too many times on my posts have i hit the limit and then had to choose #my tags trembling in fear as i pick and choose which to delete in order to make space for the fandom tags #tricule rant #i still have more tags time toRAMBLE!!! i love the idea of dust and horror having opposite ish souls #like dust's soul is PACKED with magic. like crackling and sparking and glowing purple with just how much he has in there bc of his LV stuff #i dont believe in the idea that dust suffers physically from LV or whatever because like. when has that EVER happened #its a cool idea though and i get to pick and choose which headcanons i believe in as god of these fictional characters and creations #anyways OBVIOUSLY horror's soul is dim and shriveled and looks like a fucking dead leaf. because lack of food lack of magic #even though he very clearly DOES have a lot of magic and shows it multiple times in horrortale.....#ok triglycercule you keep contradicting yourself. stop it. BUT THERES TOO MANY MTT HCS OUT THERE!!! AND SOME OF THIS IS CANON!!!!!#god the mttverse is gonna kill me one day too many interpretations TOO MANY CHOICES #anyways i just like that soul idea bc of the contrast. dust too much magic horror not enough. horrordust real #and then killer pulls up with his yn main character ass unique soul with stages #the GET OUT sound effect plays. anyways they all love eachothers souls and unique differences in them #everyday im reminded of the fact that killer is a little. just an EENSY bit more of a special character that horror or dust #he has too much shit going on someone assassinate him. preferably two fellas with names starting with H and D alternatively M #i love coming up with various sayings to kill/shut myself up. someone sedate me #i just remembered this dream where i say to my friend i hope ___ gets into a sticky situation #and then ___ goes into a bathroom comes out and then someone else says ___ WHY ARE YOU ALL STICKY #it was so funny i laughed myself awake. it was SO funny. i saw this person in school today

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vulpinesaint · 1 month

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guy who is normal about his interests. btw. guy who is really really regular about his interests

#valentine notes #my face #i’ve had this shirt literally forever but it feels so silly wearing it rn cause i haven’t worn it since i started uh. y’know #thinking about nothing but venom for multiple weeks on end #makes me feel like a caricature of myself. not that i don’t feel like that all the time anyways #pros of being cool alt/slightly goth friend. get to be cool goth friend. cons. You Have A Brand Now #like a self-fulfilling prophecy…#thought i was gonna be so normal today nd wore this to go to the zoo with the coworkers #and uh. ended up talking at length about the venom comics anyway. while wearing the venom shirt.#it’s fine my friend is so into spiderman that it’s part of his little camp name. he gets it (something going on in his brain as well)#he brought up the symbiote giving eddie brock cancer which was cool. got to talk about that :)#i lasted SO many hours too we were literally half an hour from going home…#and i said i would be going home and reading comics. and then. well. head in my hands i never change

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sucre-blue · 3 months

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its a one x wednesday for sureeee

#SO MANY THOUGHTS THAT I CANT GET OUT OF MY HEEEEEAD #I TRY TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU EVERY TIME I DO I FEEL DEAD #I KNOW WHATS BEST FOR ME #BUT I WANT YOU INSTEAD #I KEEP ON WASTING ALL MY TIME #ztext #literally screamcrying this song on my commute to and from work today #its just so fucking good and i love to put myself in emotional pain

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callixton · 4 months

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sorry why did i say some of that stuff to him in that letter. i mean i know why i was practicing this thing called vulnerability. but oh my god i really said that out loud (wrote it down)

#i BELIEVE it like. i believe i am lucky to know him on many levels #and he laughed at my little thing abt him being allowed to get an ego about it which was its purpose #but like. still . haunted by that #literally any time i open up on that level to anyone i'm just hitting myself on the head going ur okay ur okay ur okay #this was sparked by seeing a mediocre actor on dw and thinking he could do that better (insane thought. probably true in this case but low #- bar) and then remembering what i said to him abt how talented he was #which is OKAY. you should tell your friends when you think they're incredible. i am not as good at practicing this as i should be which is #- why it's scary #my other friend sent me a text that said he finally read my letter & it made him cry. and i sent back an 'i meant it i love you man' and he #- just never followed up which has also been freaking me out i worry he doesn't like me as much as i like him. but whatever! whatever #i think i did make 4 out of 4 people i wrote letters to cry though :) so. mission accomplished #it was so nice getting to see one of them on the production meeting today too ugh i miss them sm #okay this has spiraled into another i miss my friends post. go figure #ted talks #🗡️

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bangcakes · 5 months

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#personal #lmao around this time last year i decided to give up on him n LMAO girl if only you knew #i should have just talked to him but djdjjdjdjd idk it felt weird. but he even like. complained one time that we didnt talk all summer #like LMAO..... bro its two ways. u could have messaged me too xjdjjdjdjdj #tho to be fair i think he did show up to a dinner but i wasnt there bc i had just had wisdom tooth surgery n was 1. blown up like a balloon #and 2. so high on pain meds i couldnt function JFJDJJDJDJDJDJ #n e way whatever jdjdjdjd im just laughing at myself bc how did this man become my closest friend from college Zhfnnddnnd #our relationship is so weird. not in a bad way but in an unexpected way #we sat beside each other an entire semester n never talked til the last day like thats so FUNNY IDK #i even said to him that time. bc we were talkin in the hallway n went to sit for the exam n sat in our regular spots of being one seat awa #y and i was like... you know its so funny that we sat beside each other all semester and only talked today #and he was like.... hahha yeah #i was gonna introduce myself but it felt so stupid JDJJDJDJD #i didnt even know his name LMAO #i had him narrowed down to 2 names. bc he was one of like 2 guys that Always showed up in another class' zoom #and LOL i was right. he WAS one of those 2 shjdjsjsj #n e way. then the next sem came n i didnt know whether to say hi to him or not bc we talked ONCE #and i was still wearing my mask at this point and so id try to smile at him with my eyes but never got a response HDNJDJD and so i got soooo #annoyed with him. and even more so bc i kept making friends with ppl and they KNEW HIM??? and i was like WHO IS THIS????#then one time he came up to me n my friends before class n we just talked and i was like o lmao this annoyance im having??? its a big ole #crush BDNNDNDND #and in community college its hard to like. know ppls ages and that day i found out he was 2 years younger so i was like o ok 26 n 28 isnt #bad at all #but thinking back.... first things we exchanged that time was age and i think he was also trying to fish for whether i was single bc he was #talkin about this other guy havin a baby n a wife n i was like o wow !! i didnt know!!#jdjxjdjdjdk god when he found out my age he was like... oh i never would have guessed you were older. you look young ZFHJDJDJDJDJD #oh so you were Looking is that right HJXJXJXJZJZJ GOD LMAO #i look back on so many moments n im like oh duh... he must be interested #but for me its like. i will literally more easily believe literally any other theory so i thought he just liked one of my friends Zhjxjx #ya i dont think so anymorem but i thought that up until like mid january HDHXJJXJDDJJDJ

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wutheringmights · 7 months

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#my digestive issues are literally under the most control they have ever been in my life and they are still ruining my life #woke up fine today. went to a coffee shop. had to leave after an hour #i had so many plans for today and now i'm stuck at home because i can't be too far away from a bathroom #i didn't eat anything that would trigger this. my gut just hates me i guess #earlier this month i have a risk food but i thought i took enough precautions to be safe and it fucked me up for like #2 weeks straight #i wonder what its like for people to not have to wonder about bathroom access every time they leave the house #i wonder what its like to eat normal foods without calculating how sick its going to make you #i wonder what its like to not have entire plans tossed out the window for reasons beyond your control #fucking sucks man #i hate ibs #in exchange for my terrible gut i do have a fantastic immune system somehow but weirdly that means i never take time off work?#ok so i am so good at just managing my issues that i just power through whenever im sick.#it's not like i can afford to take time off whenever i feel sick anyway and besides once you have to take multiple AP tests in high school #while in the middle of an episode you grow a lot of tolerance for being functional while sick #but then. i just i could have excuses to take days off because i have a cold or something. get a rest every now and then #but what illnesses i get beyond digestion issues are so slight that i can just. power through. i am never ill enough to take time off #and i get so worried that one day I will need that PTO that I can't convince myself to use it for like mental health days and ugh #this is more of a personal problem than anything but still. i wish i got sick like a normal person

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pepprs · 1 year

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ok actually yeah. i really need to do dishes and go to bed and not stay up late mentalillnessposting a little too viscerally on tumblr the night before i facilitate a workshop in front of the literal president of the university and the vp of my division (LOL about that btw. actively shitting my pants.) but oh my GOD. so saying goodbye to lia was actually fine in the moment. neither of us cried and we talked about all the ways we’ll still be in each others lives and reasons we’ll have to interact in the near future. and she gave me an extremely heartfelt thoughtful gift and we left on a very hopeful note and i felt better and content bc there’s still the rest-of-life and we’ll see each other there. but like an hour before that as i mentioned i was HYSTERICALLY sobbing. in full view of people i know AND people i don’t. and i just sat there and sobbed while everything carried on around me. everything carried on around me!!! and i feel like im about to sob again thinking about it.

#purrs #delete later #idk. i typed a bunch here and then deleted it and now idk what to say. i just feel so lonely. i have had fucked up relationships with every #single older adult in my life and never had someone who could a) stay in my life b) be consistently present in my life c) meet my emotional #needs d) actually See me and accept me for who i am. Like not one person who can be all four of those things. and i have to be all four of t #those things for myself now because im 24 and i missed my chance. but how fucking shitty and painful is that? especially after a year like t #this. the way it’s literally ending the SAME way last year did. huge scary promotion (which i haven’t even talked about on here or to anyone #but lia today actually. but it might be huger and scarier than i thought. which is good but also HUGE -‘d scary. and not a bad thing of bc o #course but it’s so fucking… perilous? like it makes me feel profoundly imperiled because i have extremely good reason to feel that way. and #i have to endure the mortifying ordeal of applying for my own job AGAIN after the first time was so horrible. lol) and also losing a beloved #mentor figure who understood me in a way no one else did which mattered immensely even if they couldn’t do the whole presence thing or #whatever. and now i only have one older adult in my life left (aside from my therapist who doesn’t really count bc i only see her once a #week and we barely know each other still) who is like. here and helping me and i KNOW i am so sick in the head i KNOW and i should not be #writing it but every single day i am fucking terrified that i am being or will be separated from him emotionally or physically jsut like all #the others so. LOL!!!!! i am normal and well adjusted. but it’s like so fucking painful because im grasping at straws but again the reality #is im 24 and the only people on this earth who it is fair for me to expect all 4 from and who should’ve provided it to me are my parents.#and i missed my chance with them forever and now i have to do it myself. and that’s ok sometimes and i can handle it… except in the moments #where im sobbing hysterically and everything carries on. when i am in my darkest moments i want to run to an older adult and have them #comfort me but i truly cannot do that with any of the ones i still have left / regularly interact with for so many reasons. and it’s so #painful it makes me sick sometimes. and now i have to be the romy and the lia i wish to see in this world. but how can i do that when i #haven’t finished grieving over them leaving which feels like leaving ME — NOW — in this moment when i have never needed more support of that #kind more. how can isummon it within myself. im not ready yet. i need a long hug and a hand to hold that won’t (have to) let go. when im #crying i need someone to take me somewhere and comfort me and calm me down. and im 24 so i can’t ask for it. but oh my god i need it. and i #missed my chance. and lia left today and she only ever did that for me metaphorically but… tonight i feel more alone than ever.#and it’s like i don’t even have the emotional intelligence or whatever to ASK for that. bc im playing by ear and i don’t know how to read #the music of it. im self taught. that fucking sucks. that SUCKSSS. also that’s too strong a way to put it liek obviously my friends who are #closer to my age are INTEGRAL to me being able to function and i learn from them and cherish their support. but just like i can’t be a mom #to me my friends can’t either. so it’s like what the fuck do i do. get steamrolled by relentless grief and rage every day i guess.#also side note. everything carried on when i was in brighton too. i came home early ofc but it’s like nothing changed in my absence. and #that has fucked me up SUPREMELY. i think that might be a root of it. like hm… it seems my presence doesn’t have impacts. but idk

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inefable-enigma · 2 years

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GUYS I just landed a full-time job (???? like a job i literally applied for just for the funsies, like in my heart i was sooo sure they wouldn't accept me....i guess my 9 to 5 era has officially started, excited and scared at the same time <3333

#it was literally my first job interview ever and i was soo anxious before #oh yeah today i also got on a motorcycle for the first time in my life bc a friend told me he could pick me up and take me to the interview #and i thought he had a car but he meant on his motorcycle afsgshjs and i was already about to be late so i just got on it #and i was sooo afraid the first 2 minutes but that fear somehow made me forget my nervousness for the interview #and i was like sure i might as well die on my way there why not?#but i honestly think the motorcycle thing helped me ace the interview #bc after the first few minutes i was like this is actually really fun #and i ended up going in with an attitude of nothing matters but in a googly eye from eeaao kind of way #and now i'm even thinking of getting my own motorcycle #so many new things happened in the span of a single day for a person that wouldn't even dare to step out of her house a few months ago #you guys i'm sooo proud of myself and also so sleep-deprived so i'll catch you up later. take care beloveds <3 #journal

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years

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