#literally the same day and my sister messaged me just as I woke up and it was like a hot air balloon popped in my chest | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

scarletwitchproperty · 1 month ago

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Your eyes whispered have we met? - Chapter 5 NSFW

Pairing: Taylor Swift x Fem!OC

Words: 8,4k (80% of it is like...not suitable for the innocent eyes)

Summary: Taylor had a plan, a thirteen days plan to woo you...key word, had

Warnings: NSFW (heavy on the nsfw, please minors dni I beg you), brat!oc (because why not), praise kink, degradation kink (when did I ever read a story where these two don't go hand in hand XD), smut, strap-on (should've put sex toys in general but felt the need to specify lmao), shower sex, a hint of mommy kink (I almost put in in, almost), and...that's it, I think (let me know if I missed any)

masterlist

My Castle Crumbled Overnight (or how you fuck up Taylor's thirteen days plan to woo you)

@ taylorswift :💜💜💜💜💜

@ taylorswift :Pretty girl are you awake? Time to open your presents 😏

Those were the words staring back at you when you opened your eyes first thing on Sunday morning. You had trouble sleeping the previous night, your mind telling you to open the mysterious package to see what was inside. But you didn’t, Taylor’s warning still ringing inside your head.

@charlie_TortieB: Yes I’m awake Taylor, but I literally just woke up

@charlie_TortieB: Can I at least take a shower before I call you?

@ taylorswift : Mmmh…my sweet girl getting wet…what a sight it must be

@ taylorswift : Please wear one of the lingerie sets you bought yesterday

@charlie_TortieB: And why would I do that?

@ taylorswift : Because I’d like to see you in it.

@ taylorswift :And I know my perfectly good girl will always listen to me, will she not?

Gods, you hated that she was right. You would do anything for your soulmate. Taylor might be miles away from you, or even in the same city but as far away as she could be from you right now, yet the hold she had on you made it seem as if she was standing right behind you. You could almost feel her strong arms wrapping around you, her breath ghosting over your neck as she pushes your body into hers, lips teasing you, wrapping around your-

You shake your head, trying desperately to not get lost in your mind. You turn on the shower and search through your bags as you wait for it to warm up. You knew that your sister had ratted you out to the singer, because why else would Taylor ask that of you?

Carefully lifting the offending clothes out of the bag you quickly retrieve your phone to take a picture of the ensemble you chose and send it to Taylor. (Robin was right, you were really asking for it)

@charlie_TortieB: *picture attached* Was this what you wanted me to put on Taylor?

@ taylorswift : That’s right baby.

@ taylorswift : You’re being such a good listener that I’m seriously considering coming over to your place right now and make you come undone with my fingers

@charlie_TortieB:Why don’t you? 😳

@ taylorswift :I know I’m not supposed to tell anyone, but I’m also rerecording one of my previous album as I’m promoting the new one. It’s all in a very tight schedule, so what is waiting for you inside the box will have to do for now.

@ taylorswift :Just a little taste of what you’ll have once I get my hands on you.

Cold. You definitely needed a cold shower, because at the rate Taylor was going you were on the verge of doing something stupid that would make the singer come over to your house and act upon her threats.

But boy were you in the mood to get into trouble.

@charlie_TortieB: I’ll think of you in the shower while I touch myself 💜

@ taylorswift : CHARLIE!

@ taylorswift :CHARLIE NO! Don’t you fucking dare!

@charlie_TortieB: Don’t worry Taylor, I’ll send you a picture 😘

You don’t wait around to see how Taylor would respond to that, putting your phone down on the sink inside your bathroom and quickly getting into the shower after that. You take your time, washing your hair thoroughly with your favorite vanilla scented shampoo, your pulse quickening as you could hear the faint sound of your phone going off because of the messages you were receiving.

Twenty minutes and you were done with your hot shower that did nothing to help you calm down. You grab your towel and wrap it around your body, eyes falling upon the lingerie set you picked. The dark maroon lacy bra that could be opened at the front was almost daring you to put it on from its place on the bed, its accompanying panties doing just the same. Am I really going to do it?

Yes, yes you were.

You slowly walk to your bed, hands letting go of your towel in order to grab the clothes your soulmate asked, commanded you, to wear. You flush as you put them on, liking the feel of the material rubbing against your skin. It is so soft that if you close your eyes you would think that you had nothing on, and yet…

Your phone goes off again but you ignore it all in favor of doing what you previously implied you were going to do. You stand in front of your bedroom mirror and take a quick picture of your almost naked self, a smirk on your face as you immediately send it to your soulmate without checking your messaging history.

@charlie_TortieB: See how you react to being teased Lover 💜

What you weren’t expecting (but were secretly hoping for) was seeing Taylor’s messages to you prior to you sending the picture.

However the words she sends you after makes all your blood rush south.

@ taylorswift : That’s it, I’m coming over!

@ taylorswift :Fuck the rerecording I need to get my hands on you

@ taylorswift :Want to see the look on your face when I make you come on my tongue with my hand wrapped around your neck

@charlie_TortieB: *picture attached* See how you react to being teased Lover 💜

@ taylorswift :THE FUCK YOU MEAN ‘’See how you react to being teased’’?

@ taylorswift : I’ll do you one better darling

@ taylorswift : Let’s see how YOU react when I edge you all day long, when you scream my name for the entire building to hear that you’re mine, when you beg me to come with tears of pleasure running down your face but I don’t allow you to simply because someone decided to quit being a good girl

@ taylorswift :Because the thing is, princess, is that only I get to decide when you’re done.

@ taylorswift : And if I decide to fuck you until you beg me to stop, well…

@ taylorswift :Remember that you asked for it baby girl

Your body is shivering in anticipation as you reach the end of the conversation. You want to respond to her, your mind wanting you to tease the singer again and again, loving the thrill of the chase so to speak, but your hands are shaking so much that you know whatever you write wouldn’t be comprehensible.

The sound of screeching tires reaches your ears and you immediately look out the window, seeing a black Jeep Wrangler parked on the street with a hooded figure rushing to your building from the vehicle. You gulp as you see the person look up, and deep down you know exactly who it is, mind flashing back to your soulmate’s electric blue eyes almost turned black on that fateful first meeting where she stole your breath away with a kiss. You see her, Taylor, tilt her head to the side as if she knew it was you spying on her from way up there, but when you blink a second later she’s gone.

‘’Oh my god she’s gonna kill me,’’ you swear under your breath, heart running a marathon inside your ribcage, waiting for your undoubtably very pleasurable end. You know what you told Taylor two nights ago, but you never doing anything of that sort with anyone didn’t mean you were completely clueless about what she surely had in store for you. You jump when you hear your front door open with a bang. ‘’Shit. Fuck fuck fuck I’m so stupid I left my fucking door open and someone could’ve killed me in my sleep and I just-‘’

Electric blue eyes turned into raging storms lock you into place as you whirl around, the intensity and lust inside of them bringing a whole new shade of red to your face. You try to speak but ultimately fail, lowering your gaze and taking a step back as Taylor enters your bedroom. Her eyes are drinking you in like a woman dying of thirst, her mouth slightly open as she licks her lips like she was getting ready to consume you whole.

‘’Look at you darling, not so confident now that I’m right here, are you?’’ Taylor slowly approaches you with a smirk on her face, like a predator nearing its prey. She knows exactly what she’s doing to you as she takes off her hoodie, your eyes immediately getting drawn to her sports bra covered chest. If only she could take it off too so you would- ‘’My eyes are up here pretty girl.’’

‘’I-I-I wasn’t-‘’

‘’You weren’t what? You weren’t looking? Just like you didn’t want to rile me up when you sent me those pictures and messages?’’ The singer is only steps away from you, the color of her eyes clearer now that you can see them up close. You look up at her through your eyelashes and she immediately seizes you by the neck to drag your body against hers, your fronts now pressing against each other. ‘’You’re driving me crazy Charlie, do you know that?’’

Your back hits the wall and any semblance of resistance leaves you as Taylor crashes her lips against yours, hands flying to your thighs as she lifts you up. You moan at the back of your throat when you feel one of her hand sneaking its way inside your panties, Taylor groaning into your kiss at how wet she finds you. Her pointer finger drags through your lower lips, gathering the wetness there, before slowly circling your clit as she starts to kiss you down your neck.

‘’You’re so wet for me princess, I just want to taste you,’’ Taylor mumbles as she makes her way down, stoping right on your pulse point and gently biting down. She soothes the bite with a few gentle kisses before she goes back up to claim your mouth once again, two of her fingers now carefully teasing your entrance. ‘’I missed you so much darling, but you were such a naughty girl and-‘’

‘’I-I can be good,’’ you whimper, feeling your soulmate’s fingers almost sinking into you. Your hips are slowly rocking against Taylor’s stomach, seeking relief where you can as the singer apparently doesn’t want to grant it. ‘’Please Taylor I-I need you so bad!’’

‘’Really?’’ Taylor smirks against you, teeth nibbling on your lower lip as she looks into your eyes. You’re probably not aware but the singer can clearly see it, how you’re starting to have this certain look in your eyes, a clear sign that soon enough you won’t be able to decide for yourself and hand her the reins of control. You nod your head in clear desperation and she promptly drops you. ‘’Then you will get on that bed and wait for me to tell you what to do, understood?’’

She almost laughs at your eagerness to rush towards the bed, and smirks once again when she hears you gasp as she grabs the forgotten package waiting propped up on the side of the door. Your eyes widen as Taylor starts opening it, mouth open in shock as your soulmate pulls out a vibrator and a strap-on. You audibly gulp as she deposits the harness on your dresser and turns around with the vibrator in hand, making her way to you with the most hypnotizing lustful look in her eyes.

Taylor stops only centimeters away from you, pleased to see that you’re keeping eye contact with her. You look like you’re about to combust on the spot, hands gripping the bed sheet at your side so hard that your knuckles are turning white.

‘’Don’t you look so delectable darling,’’ Taylor bends down to your level, swiftly grabbing you by the back of your neck and tilting your head back. Your breath quickens when she presses her thumb against your throat, and you’re just about gone when she kisses you on the edge of your lips, teasing you. ‘’I know you’re smart baby, can you guess what I’m about to do?’’

‘’You-You’re going to use this on me?’’ You quickly look down at the vibrator in Taylor’s hand, heart beating like a madman running as you see her putting it down right next to you on the bed. You stop breathing altogether as your soulmate laughs unexpectedly. ‘’What? Are you not going to?’’

‘’No no no darling, I’m not. You see that chair over there?’’ Taylor asks you, mouth dangerously close to your ear. You know damn well which chair she’s talking about, the one you usually use when you sit at your desk, and it’s like a lightbulb goes on inside your head. Taylor smirks as she sees the look on your face when you finally understand what’s about to happen. ‘’There’s my smart girl! I am going to sit on that chair, and you are going to touch yourself. You’re going to use that vibrator on that stunning body of yours , however and wherever you like, but do not try to come without my permission.’’

‘’Why?’’ You try, one last time, to tease your soulmate. Taylor lets you kiss her cheek, groaning as you descend upon her neck. ‘’What are you gonna do about it if I don’t listen to you?’’

‘’Oh Charlie, you know damn well what I’ll do if you don’t behave.’’

‘’Yeah? What’s that?’’

You find yourself pinned to the bed with your hands above your head held by one of Taylor’s hand, crying out in pleasure as the vibrator is pressed against your clit at the highest setting.

‘’Keep testing me like that and I’ll tie you up on this bed with the vibrator on for hours.’’

Taylor lets you go with the threat hanging over your head, dragging your desk chair in front of your bed and sitting on it like she promised. She arches her eyebrow as you stay still, chest rising and falling as you try to keep it together. The singer starts to get worried when you stay that way for another five minutes, immediately thinking that something was wrong with you as she rushes to your side.

‘’Baby? Charlie are you okay?’’ Taylor hovers over you with both hands on your face, worried that you changed your mind about the whole thing but you didn’t dare to say it out loud. ‘’I’m so sorry darling, you can totally say you don’t want to do anything I won’t be mad at you, I promise. It’s all my fault and I shouldn’t have talked to you that way and-‘’

It’s your time to silence your soulmate with a kiss, wrapping your legs and arms around her as you do your best to keep her pressed against you. You sigh as you feel her moving against you, her knee coming into contact with your clothed pussy making you throw your head back and arch against the bed.

‘’It’s-It’s alright Lover, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was only trying to calm down and I just- fuck, Taylor!’’ The only thing you can do is follow your soulmate’s movement, chasing after her as you grind on her knee. The singer seems to have forgotten her previous worries as she busies herself with kissing down your chest. You can feel her teeth grazing both of your breasts as she mouths at the zipper of your bra, slowly pushing it down until you’re rid of the apparently offending garment. Taylor quickly throws it to the floor and doesn’t hesitate to wrap her lips around your left nipple, sucking on it until you’re all but a whimpering mess writhing under her. ‘’Oh god I think I’m gonna-TAYLOR!’’

‘’That’s it darling, louder so the neighbors know that you’re mine!’’ Taylor switches to your other nipple, gently biting down on it as she rolls the other one between her thumb and pointer finger. She keeps going, pressing down on you harder with her sweatpants covered knee, drunk on the strangled noises coming out of your mouth as she brings you that much closer to the edge. ‘’Thank you for telling me what you felt baby. Voicing what you feel is very important in a relationship, but right now-Oh Lord, right now all I want is to hear you scream my name again and again.’’

‘’Make me then.’’

‘’Getting a little cheeky aren’t you?’’ Taylor smirks down at you, and all at once she straightens up. You can no longer feel her pleasant warmth against you and immediately a pout appears on your face as she looks down on you with her arms crossed. She reaches behind her and your eyes widen comically as said hand comes back around with the forgotten vibrator. ‘’Now, where were we?’’

Taylor hands you the object and gets off of you, the singer now standing in front of the bed rather than sitting in the chair like earlier. You know what she wants, what she’s waiting for.

You turn on the sex toy, barely pressing it against your clit. You’re suddenly so ashamed of what you’re doing that you close your eyes, but again not for long as before you know it you feel a hand carefully wrapping itself around your neck and you open your eyes to see Taylor once again above you.

‘’Don’t close your eyes pretty girl, I want you to keep looking at me,’’ she hums against your cheek, tenderly kissing any available skin within her reach. You lock eyes with her once again as you push the toy harder against you, moving it in a slow circle that makes you cry out for more. ‘’That’s it Charlie, nice and slow. Make yourself feel good baby, you deserve it.’’

‘’Mmhm, thank you Taylor,’’ you blurt out, your hips rocking against the vibrator as you’re starting to move it down your pussy. Your mind feels hazy, like you’re here but not really, all of this seeming like an out of body experience. Though your eyes stay locked with Taylor’s, you’re starting to feel yourself slipping away. Your free hand goes to grab one of your soulmate’s as you guide it to cover yours that’s still holding the toy. ‘’Please, help me? I can’t-’’

‘’Shhh, it’s okay baby I’m here. I’m right here with you, don’t worry. Can you breathe for me darling?’’ Taylor puts her forehead against yours, grinning from ear to ear as you do what you’re told. She takes control of the vibrator and sets it to the highest speed, intently watching your reaction as she presses it right up against your entrance, teasing you just the way she likes. Strangled moans come out of you and you really have to fight hard and concentrate not to break eye contact. Your soulmate required it of you, yes, but as time passes you realize that you love looking into Taylor’s eyes. You feel like you needed it to survive, desperately fighting yourself not to get caught up inside your own mind as Taylor runs her free hand through your hair. ‘’God you’re so beautiful, taking it like the good girl I know you are. Is this still okay?’’

‘’YES! Oh fuck, please Taylor I need-I need-‘’ You take in shattering breaths as you feel the end of the vibrator almost entering you, but despite the size of it this is definitely not what you really want right now. No, what you craved, what you needed, was- ‘’Your fingers. Need to feel you inside me, please?’’

‘’You could ask me to burn the whole world down and I would still do it for you darling.’’

Your world bursts into colors as Taylor crashes against you, tongue invading your mouth and taking control of your body like the unrivaled mastermind that she is. You can hear the sound of something hard hitting the floor, but you don’t pay much attention to it as you can feel Taylor touching you down where it counts, not two but three of her fingers teasing you. She separates her mouth from yours, silently asking you a question with her eyes, and when you nod your consent she immediately enters your most intimate barrier. You gasp out loud and throw your head back, overwhelmed by the pleasure you feel and the tension building in your lower belly as Taylor’s fingers move in and out of you, curling just the right way to make you want to get away yet ask for more at the same time.

The singer quickly starts her way back down your body, kissing down your neck, latching onto your pulse point as she works her fingers into you. Taylor takes pleasure herself in hearing your whimpers, your moans as she brings you almost over the edge. You can feel it just as she is, how your inner walls are starting to squeeze her fingers in, how your hips are frantically rocking against Taylor’s hand, your moans getting louder and louder as she keeps bringing you higher and higher.

Then everything stops. You can’t feel Taylor moving against you anymore, and in rightful indignation you open your teary eyes, ready to lash out at your soulmate for taking your orgasm away from you, but your mind goes blank when you see her kneeling at the foot of the bed. You don’t know how she got there so quickly, but Taylor doesn’t let you think on the matter more than necessary as she grabs your legs and drags you right to the edge of your mattress. She hooks her fingers on the sides of your panties and gets you out of them in less than a second, hungry gaze settling over your glistening lower lips.

‘’You did such a good job darling, look at how wet you are for me. Can you spread those legs for me baby?’’ Taylor smirks predatorily as she feasts her eyes on you, looking at the way you spread yourself open just for her. You gasp when you right yourself up and use your forearms to support your upper body, realizing just now how Taylor had positioned you two. Your blissed out face stares back at you through your bedroom’s full length mirror, as is Taylor’s incredibly delectable back. Which is still covered by her sports bra. ‘’Do not look at me like that princess. I told you whether you get to come is my decision and my decision only.’’

‘’But-but I thought-‘’

‘’Talk back to me again and you won’t be able to touch me anytime soon. I will tie you up and make you watch me fuck myself,’’ Taylor announces with a deep sultry voice, hands squeezing your thighs as she rests her head against your left knee. The deep blush on your face betrays your thoughts. ‘’But you would like that, wouldn’t you? I bet you could even get off to it. Do you want to try?’’

You shake your head in the negative so fast you think you may have broken your neck. You whine in distress as Taylor continues to nose her way up your leg, mouth slowly kissing your stomach, dangerously coming close to where you need it most.

‘’Okay maybe another day darling. For now, just relax,’’ Taylor whispers against the skin of your stomach, lips slowly dragging down your body. She uses a combination of lips and tongue that’s making you see stars, and she hasn’t even touched you were it counts yet. You shiver when you feel Taylor’s breath blowing over your clit, her eyes demanding that you look inside them as her mouth nears the straining pink nub. ‘’And let me have my breakfast. Think you can do that for me?’’

God if this is heaven, please never let me leave this place.

You nod as an answer, this being your last conscious decision before your mind goes blank and you surrender yourself entirely to your soulmate. Her fingers enter you once again, searching for that spot that made you squeeze around them. Taylor slowly moves them in and out of you, her eyes forever looking into yours as she keeps working you up to where she wants you. Her tongue flicks over your clit and you don’t think you ever felt something so good in your entire life. She keeps working at it, smirking against you as she hears your strangled moans, drunk on the way your hips move towards her face as she eats you out like a woman starved.

‘’Fuck baby you taste so good, I could stay like this forever,’’ Taylor says against you, voice muffled by the way her mouth is stuck to your pussy. She momentarily stops to suck on her fingers, and oh my god she looks so sexy doing it you think you’ve become jealous. Taylor sees you looking at her with envy in your eyes, wordlessly shoving her soaked hand in front of your face. Her eyes turn an even darker shade of blue as you don’t hesitate to wrap your lips around her fingers, sucking on them while maintaining eye contact. ‘’Shit. That’s it, there’s my good girl. You’re doing such a good job, shall I keep going or do you want me to stop?’’

You’re too far gone to speak, panting still and overwhelmed by everything that Taylor gave you. Your back crashes down to the mattress as one of your hand pushes your soulmate’s head back down, crying out as her mouth goes back to work on you.

Soon your whimpers fill the bedroom, the tension in your belly going back to where it was, quickly rising as Taylor continues to kiss and suck where you need it. Her fingers are hitting spots inside you that you never reached before on your own, the singer doing it all like it was the easiest thing in the world.

‘’Look at you darling, your thighs are shaking so much! Are you close? Yeah?’’ Taylor smirks once again as she sees you try to nod, your squirming around making it difficult to discern. But she knows, by the look on your face and the way your inner walls are starting to clamp down around her fingers, of course she knows. ‘’Go ahead baby, let go.’’

You fall apart before Taylor even finishes talking, vision going white as you come undone in her mouth. She keeps lapping at you even when you trash against her, consciously choosing to ignore the way your breathing comes out shattered as she drags you into your second orgasm of the day. You can barely breathe as this one hits you harder than the first, hands frantically reaching for your soulmate and pulling her up to press her body down against yours.

‘’I know baby, I know. I’m right here, just try to breathe okay?’’ Taylor slowly takes her fingers out of you, gently kissing all over your face as you wince in discomfort. She lets her pointer finger drag against your clit and is surprised when instead of trying to get away you chase the contact. ‘’Are you not done yet darling? The sheets are drenched and you’re telling me you want more?’’

In your post orgasmic haze you manage to glare at her. As if she doesn't know what she’s doing to me.

‘’Alright darling, but are you really sure?’’

It is rather endearing how she keeps checking in on you, but talking is not what you wanted to do right now. In a fit of strength you didn’t know you had you wrap your legs around her waist and manage to reverse your positions. Your hands immediately grab onto Taylor’s sports bra still covering her and she lets you take it off, a mischievous glint to her eyes as she sees the look on your face when you take in her uncovered breasts.

You lick your lips and immediately dive down, mouth latching over Taylor’s left nipple. You try to suck on it like you felt she did with you, and you know you succeeded when you hear the singer’s moans filling the room with their delectable melody. You look up as you switch to the other breast, throat going dry when you see Taylor with her head thrown back. You don’t think as you trail your mouth upward, living a wet trail on your way to your soulmate’s throat. The taste of her skin is addicting, so much that you don’t realize you’ve ended up with your back on the mattress once again. You huff in annoyance as your mouth is forcibly separated from Taylor’s neck, pouting and looking away when you hear the singer laughing at you.

‘’You can have a go later baby, I promise,’’ Taylor kisses you, her tongue almost touching yours. The singer then gets up from the bed and you observe her, intrigued, as she walks to your dresser. Your eyes track her every movements, heart racing as she bends down to take off her sweatpants .You’re positively drooling by the time Taylor takes off her panties, dangling it off her finger with that trademark smirk of hers when she locks eyes with you. ‘’Like what you see?’’

‘’Yes ma’am.’’

‘’ Yes ma’am,’’ Taylor repeats as she squints her eyes at you, aware that you’re still following her movements. You audibly gulp as she puts on the harness for the strap-on, a blush on your face when she fully turns around and raises an eyebrow at you. ‘’What am I, your mother?’’

‘’Ahem, well…no, but-‘’

‘’Although, what’s that thing they’ve been saying online about me?’’ The singer slowly makes her way to you, confident in her state of dress. Once she reaches the bed again she straddles you, sitting down on your thighs as she puts both hands on your face and makes you look her in the eye. ‘’Mother is mothering, isn’t it? Have you too secretly been calling me that all over the internet?’’

‘’…no?’’

‘’Really? So if I grab your phone and check any of your socials, let’s say TikTok for example, I won’t find any of your comments calling me mommy either?’’

Your stubborn insistence to look away from her is enough answers for Taylor. She gently kisses you on the forehead, on your nose and on your cheek, ending with your lips. She slowly coerces into opening your mouth, but when you do so, eager to deepen your kiss, she pulls away. You try to chase after her but you’re stopped when you feel a finger over your lips. You almost glare at Taylor when you open your eyes, but you don’t dare to when you see how she looks at you.

‘’That’s what my baby gets when she does not tell the truth,’’ Taylor whispers right into your face, smirking as a deep red blush comes back to your face. You make the error of rolling your eyes at her, thinking that you would get away with it. But that was a mistake, as before you could even take another breath Taylor has you face down on the mattress with her body pressing down on yours. You let out a high pitched whine when you feel the strap-on pressing down on your backside, the sounds coming out of you quickly turning into strangled moans as the toy comes into contact with your clit. ‘’Roll your eyes at me one more time and see where it gets you.’’

‘’Oh yeah? Where?’’

‘’Exactly right here on this bed where I will fuck your brains out until the only thing on your mind is my name.’’

‘’Was that supposed to be a threat?’’

You can feel your soulmate’s teeth clamping down on your neck, and the only warning you get before anything happens to you is the eye contact Taylor grants you as she makes you kneel on the bed with your head turned to the side. You can feel her front pressing against your back, her breasts rubbing against you as her hands take hold of your hips.

‘’Last chance darling, are you sure about this?’’ Taylor asks you, forehead pressed against yours as she slowly guides the tip of the strap-on towards you. You squirm in place when you feel it move against you, all your squirming around making it so that only the very tip is now inside you. You cry out as you feel the strap-on slowly tearing you open, hips unconsciously moving along to the rhythm of your pleasure. ‘’Okay okay, easy baby. I don’t want to hurt you Charlie, it’s your first time.’’

‘’Taylor I swear to gods if you don’t fuck me until I can’t walk right now I’ll just do it myself!’’

All air leaves your body, quite literally. Taylor covers your mouth with hers, tongue quickly overpowering yours, lips playing you like an instrument she mastered years ago. Those lips are all you can focus on, until Taylor snaps her hips forward, burying the strap-on inside you to the hilt. You don’t know what to do, what to say. You don’t think there is anything to say in moments like this, where in a world such as yours the moment comes when you’re finally one with your soulmate.

Taylor separates her mouth from yours, lips slowly moving down your neck again as she rocks against you. It’s not long before the only thing you manage to scream out is her name, back arching against her chest as she keeps thrusting inside you hard and fast. The sound of skin slapping against skin is loud enough that you know your neighbors will be waiting for you tomorrow. But you know, as Taylor slowly drags her index finger against your clit, that it will all be worth it.

You open your eyes in a flash when you hear a very familiar sound, and you only have a second to realize you’re facing your bedroom mirror again and that Taylor has the vibrator slowly inching towards you before you feel that coil inside you burst open. Your legs shake as Taylor keeps thrusting inside you, very aware that you’ve just come judging by the smirk on her face that you can see through the mirror.

‘’That’s it baby, keep looking. Do you see how you’re taking me so well? Such a good girl for me, can you see?’’ Taylor revels in the way you’re reaching back for her, hands searching for any kind of contact as the strap-on keeps hitting you in all the right places. And while you are sooner rather than later being thrown into yet again another orgasm, the other side of the toy keeps rubbing against Taylor in such a way that she might join you. The vibrator is back on your clit and it’s all you can do not to close your eyes. Taylor’s free hand wraps around your throat then, gasps of pleasure coming out of your mouth when the singer picks up speed. ‘’Keep them pretty eyes open for me darling, that’s it! Look at how good I fuck you, how pretty you look down there when you take my strap. Can you feel it coming Charlie?’’

Out of breath, mind filled with thoughts of your soulmate, you barely manage to nod.

‘’Yeah? Are you gonna come for me pretty girl?’’ Taylor keeps fucking into you, holding you upright with the vibrator right up against your clit. Her left hand leaves your hip for your breast, squeezing and massaging it before she starts to pinch your nipple with her thumb and pointer finger. She smirks against your neck as you falter in your more than frantic movements, her deep moans as you grab her by the hair with your right hand resonating deep inside your skull. Taylor feels herself getting closer and closer to the edge, by the way the end of the strap keeps hitting her right where it feels good and the sounds you’re making sounding like music to her ears. Huh, now that’s an idea… ‘’Keep making those sounds princess, you’re going to make me come so hard! Shit. Are you there yet darling?’’

‘’Taylor I-I-you-‘’

‘’Awww, did I fuck you too hard that you don’t know how to speak anymore?’’ The singer changes her tactic, slowing down her movements but thrusting inside you just as hard as before. You feel the vibrator leave your clit, something which almost makes you come out of your sex induced half-conscious state if not for the fact that Taylor immediately puts her fingers to you. You cry out as she swipes her fingers over your clit in rapid circles, your soul all but leaving your body as the strap-on inside you hits your g-spot repeatedly. Unfocused as your eyes may be, you still manage to meet Taylor’s electric blue ones in the mirror. ‘’That’s it baby, keep looking at us. You’re fucking gorgeous, come on pretty girl. I’ll be right there with you. Let go with me baby, let go!’’

What your soulmate asks, she gets. With a last snap of her hips, the strap-on ultimately slamming deep inside you as Taylor quickens her fingers over your clit, you both fall over the edge, the singer squeezing you against her as her hips still and your vision goes black. Pleasure fills your mind as you come all over the strap-on, back arching when you feel your thighs get drenched. Taylor turns your head with her hand just then, gently kissing you with her lips. Her hand gently cradles your cheek as her thumb slowly traces over it, her eyes meeting yours as she separates her mouth from your lips.

The sun shines its rays over her face right then , and in this light she never could’ve looked more stunning. Taylor looks like an angel, too good to be true. She’s truly and irrevocably yours, and yet…

You don’t know what to say. Is there even words to express what you feel right here in this moment?

‘’Hello darling,’’ Taylor lets out the biggest smile, a certain glint in her eyes that’s making you think she knows what you feel right now. You feel the strap-on slipping out of you then, an involuntary groan getting through your lips as it drags against your inner walls. ‘’Shhh darling, no more. I don’t want to overstimulate you just yet. Shall we get you cleaned up?’’

Taylor doesn’t wait for your answer, having you in her arms bridal style in the following ten seconds. She smiles down at you, eyebrow raising as she sees you have your eyes locked on her arms. Your soulmate sees the way you seem entranced by her muscles, filing that information away for future purposes.

The singer tries to put you down in the bathroom but you cling to her so hard that she gives up. Taylor turns on the shower and you both get under the warm water.

‘’Baby can you let me go? I need to get the harness off, and we need to rinse off down there,’’ Taylor tries once again to get you to let go, but again and with no surprises, she fails. You grin against her shoulder when you hear her let out a loud exaggerated sigh, but what she does next makes you internally black out. ‘’Don’t be quiet for this pretty girl, I want the neighbors to hear you.’’

Your back hits the shower wall and in the next second the strap-on gets buried back inside you. Eyes rolling back inside your head, you don’t see the look of desire and lust all over Taylor as she pounds into you. Her hands have a death grip on your thighs as she holds you up, your legs wrapped around her waist with your heels digging into Taylor’s ass. You feel like you can’t breathe, no thoughts passing through, head empty, nothing but a willing victim to your soulmate’s decision to make you come again.

The hot water makes you sleepy, but the way Taylor keeps moving her hips against you causes you to stay well awake. Your eyes get drawn back to your soulmates breasts, moving along with her, dancing in front of your face as Taylor fucks into you, almost daring you to touch them.

And, like the little devil that you are, you do. Both of your hands descend upon the objects of your desire, massaging the breasts for a moment before your mouth attaches itself to the left one. Taylor moans low in her throat, her movements inside you picking up speed which makes you bite down on her.

‘’Shit, pretty girl keep doing that! Yes, that’s it!’’ Taylor screams out as you focus on her other breast, bitting down on it just the same as the other. She keeps pounding into you at an alarming speed, sweat running down her body mixing with the hot water pouring over you both. ‘’Holy shit baby, if you continue like that you’re going to make me come!’’

You smile against Taylor, hips rocking in time with hers, searching for the one thing only she’s able to make you feel, and that you’re quickly becoming addicted to. The warmth or her body pressed against yours contrast deeply with the cold shower wall against your back, desperate whines leaving your mouth as you arch towards your soulmate to evade the chill behind you.

It’s all starting to become too much for you, this growing feeling deep inside you as the strap-on keeps hitting parts of yourself you could never hope to reach on your own, Taylor panting your name right into your ears…

You feebly try to get away, panicked by what you feel is coming in your lower belly, but your soulmate doesn’t let you.

‘’Don’t you try to get away now pretty girl, you asked for this!’’ Taylor let your hips go and thank the lord you still have the strength to keep them up. Her left hand wraps around your neck and yours fly up to the top of the shower wall, grabbing the wet wall in a death grip as you feel yourself getting closer to the edge. Choked sobs come out of you when the singer uses her other hand to draw rapid circles on your clit, the devil’s smile on her face as you immediately react by trying to get closer. ‘’That’s it Charlie, give it to me one more time. I know you can do it, my pretty girl! Come all over my strap!’’

‘’TAYLOR!’’

You fall apart with your head thrown back against the wall, mouth open in a silent scream. Your legs are shaking so much as Taylor keeps pounding into you, her movements frantic yet it’s not long before she joins you.

Five minutes go by before you both start to get back to reality. Taylor is the first one to move, managing to take the strap-on off of her and throwing it blindly behind her. You almost whine at the loss, but you know you couldn’t possibly handle anything more at the moment. When Taylor grabs the shower head to rinse your lower body, you yelp near in pain as the jet of water comes into contact with your pussy.

‘’Shhh, it’s okay Charlie. I know it kinda hurts right now, but you’ll feel better once you’re all cleaned and warm in bed alright?’’ Taylor puts her forehead against yours, lips ghosting over yours when she sees you nod. ‘’That’s my good girl. No more funny business, understood?’’

You reluctantly nod, but only because you see the warning in your soulmate’s eyes. You might need time to recuperate, but you knew that if Taylor asked for it you would go for another round. I am well and truly gone for that woman.

Half an hour later finds you dressed in your pajamas, Taylor in her hoodie and you both wrapped up in each other over your bed. You couldn’t look away from her, even if you tried. The love you felt for your soulmate couldn’t be qualified, her beauty couldn’t be put into words. You just knew that you loved her.

‘’Taylor I-I just want to say-‘’ You try to speak, anxiety spiking as Taylor has her eyes focused solely on you. She suddenly put her hand on your cheek and just like that, all your worries go away. ‘’I love you, Taylor. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I really wanted you to know that.’’

‘’Oh Charlie, I love you too,’’ Taylor kisses you on the lips, the action soft and gentle unlike your earlier trysts. She pulls the cover over the two of you when you let out a huge yawn, your head immediately burrowing into her neck. ‘’Now sleep my darling, we’ll see each other in a few hours.’’

A sleepy smile comes over your face, and you would’ve fallen asleep right then and there if not for a stray thought coming to your mind.

‘’Taylor, how did you come here so fast?’’

‘’…’’

‘’Taylor?’’

‘’…I bought a house just a few blocks away just in case you needed me? Please don’t kill me!’’

‘’TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT!’’

*******

‘’Taylor, will you please let me go?’’

‘’Can’t we just stay here so I can fuck your brains out again?’’

‘’TAYLOR!’’

‘’What? Don’t look at me like that, you were the one who jumped me when you woke up yesterday afternoon,’’ Taylor whispers against your neck, body coiled around yours. You blush as you remember what happened the previous day, but as you look at the time on your alarm clock you halfheartedly hit your soulmate on the shoulder. ‘’Ouch, that hurts you know?’’

‘’As if. Now come on, some of us actually have to go to work,’’ you manage to detach yourself from your soulmate, the bed sheet falling to the mattress as you get up. You could still feel a very pleasurable ache in your legs, remnants of your day with Taylor spent exploring each other’s bodies. You almost trip on your own feet and you look back, blushing by the look of pure lust on Taylor’s face as she licks her lips while looking at your naked body. ‘’Stop looking at me like that.’’

‘’Like what?’’

‘’Like you want to eat me up.’’

‘’I did eat you out, didn’t I?’’

‘’TAYLOR!’’

‘’Okay, okay, I’ll stop. Scouts honors!’’ Taylor holds up three fingers and you throw a shirt at her face. She cackles as you dress yourself, quickly following in your steps and putting on her own clothes. You shiver when you feel her press against your back, arms settling over your stomach as her face burrows in your neck. ‘’Will you at least let me take you to work?’’

‘’Of course my Star.’’

‘’Yes I’m yours, and don’t you forget it.’’

Taylor insists that she drives you to work in her car, her very expensive car, and the excitement on her face is so contagious that you let her. The whole drive to the daycare she has at least one hand on you, more often than not placed on your thigh. Your heart picks up speed the closer you get to your work place, but it also felt like you were being followed. It would be strange if you were not, after all your soulmate is THE Taylor Swift.

The daycare finally comes into view, some parents already inside and doing handovers with their little ones. Taylor parks her car right in front of the entrance, the screeching tires alerting everyone inside the building of your presence. You try to hide yourself but it is too late, your coworkers inside as well as the parents having already seen you inside the vehicle.

‘’Come one baby, don’t be afraid,’’ Taylor tells you, hand squeezing yours reassuringly. ‘’I’ll walk you to the door, and if anyone says anything I’ll sue them.’’

‘’Taylor, we talked about this!’’

‘’No we didn’t. You tried to talk me out of it, but I was too busy eating you o-‘’

‘’SHHHHH!’’

The singer laughs, and you can’t stay mad at her even if you wanted. Taylor turns down her car and opens her door, quickly coming around and doing the same for you. She gently takes your hand and as you both turn towards your workplace a flash goes off. You see the frown on Taylor’s face, the shift in her body indicating that she was about to go off on the person interrupting your moment, but you are quick to put your hand to her cheek and redirect her attention on you.

‘’It’s okay Starlight, let them.’’

‘’I’m still leaving bodyguards all around the block.’’

You can still hear people taking pictures of you, although it’s not like Taylor tried really hard to hide herself. Her hood is down and people surely must’ve followed her to your place yesterday.

When you get to the daycare’s front door, Taylor stops you just as you’re about to get in. She turns you around so quick all air leaves you, body colliding against hers as you find yourself looking right at her lips.

‘’I’ll see you tonight darling? When do you get off of work?’’

‘’At six pm, but you don’t have to wait for me Taylor,’’ you put your head on her shoulder, warmth feeling you up as your soulmate wraps her arms around you. ‘’I know you’re busy, I won’t hold it against you if we can’t see each other for a few days.’’

‘’You think I’ll let you out of my sight after I just had you?’’

Taylor kisses you then, the world around you fading as the singer once again steals your breath away. Her tongue probs your lips and you grant her access, sighing as you feel her against you.

Someone clears their throat behind you and you turn around in a flash, narrowed eyes falling on no one else but your best friend, Sam.��

‘’I should’ve known you were with her when you didn’t answer any of my texts yesterday,’’ Sam says as she approaches you. She looks you over and you feel yourself flush all over again when her eyes zero in on your neck. ‘’I see you were having fun!’’

‘’Not a damn word out of your mouth Sam, none!’’ You turn back around, meeting Taylor’s eyes as you see her checking something on her phone. ‘’See you later Starlight? Love you!’’

‘’Love you too darling, don’t have too much fun without me!’’

Taylor kisses you one last time before she gets back in her car and drives off. You’re still in a daze when you turn back around, not surprised to see Sam smirking at you.

‘’Alex is going to be so mad when I tell her she owes me one hundred and fifty dollars because you two fucked.’’

‘’ALEX!’’

As you chase your best friend through the building, the only thing on your mind was Taylor. You couldn’t wait to get back to her.

Little did you know, as she was driving towards her recording studio, the singer was having the same exact thoughts.

a/n: shoutout to my friend/coworker for the spicy scenes ideas, you a real one L

Chapter 6 (last one)

#taylor swift #taylor swift x oc #taylor swift smut #wlw #top!taylor swift #bottom!oc #bottom!reader

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writtenx · 4 months ago

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Finding You - azngami (part 3)

Hey my loves!! It's been a min, and I'd have to apologize for that! I think the main reason I haven't updated in a while is because I've been TEXTING THIS MAN ON STARYO???? if y'all haven't checked staryo out yet, please do, it's a messaging app where you can literally talk to any member of nsb or all the boys, whatever you want! And it's actually them, it's not like AI generated or whatever! So I feel like because I've been texting him on there, it's been a little weird to write a fanfic because he like...actually knows who I am now?? Does that make sense?? Idk, I'd consider him a friend at this point, and so to write fanfics about someone you're literally talking to, idk if that's just a me thing, but I feel pretty awkward.

At the same time tho, I do think this fic is cute and pretty harmless. I would never write anything uncomfortable and that's not where this is going. I don't imagine this to be a long fanfic and I don't know, the whole idea has been cute so I'll update here and there

Thank y'all so much for reading, part 4 will come by the end of this week, bc this one was kind of a short one!!

Be sure to read part 2 before this one, or even start over since it's been long, imma put the links up!

Happy reading :))

You woke up extra early the next morning from the warmth of the sun and the sound of birds chirping. You groaned, sat up for two seconds, staring at nothing as your consciousness was starting to rise. For some reason, although the day had passed and you and Diana went through shopping, eating, and then coming back home to raid all the snacks that there was for movie night, you still couldn't help but think of yesterday.

It was during the movie that Diana gasped loudly, causing you to shoot her a weird look as you noticed she was on her phone.

"What?"

Diana didn't reply, but immediately shoved her phone in your face. You quickly moved her hand away in reflex because you were convinced that girl was trying to blind you.

"Diana! Turn your brightness down!"

"Sorrrrryyy!" She said, quickly changing her settings. "Looked who replied to my storyyy!!" Her voice was chirpy.

You were curious as you leaned your head against your sister's looking at her screen. "Who?"

And then you saw the username which made you stop in your tracks.

You took Diana's phone and she laughed as you looked. You didn't know why but your heart skipped a beat.

hi diana this is random but did you and your sister go to (high school name)?

You hand the phone back, not being able to hide your smile.

"He texted 41 minutes ago." Diana pointed to the time that the message sent. "Oh my gosh, let me text back, hold on!"

You kept your eyes glued on Diana's phone, being presently there just to make sure she wouldn't do anything you wouldn't approve of.

"Okay...." Diana's voice trailed off and you layed your head on her shoulder, peering.

yes we did! you were in my sister's class right?? did you two see each other at whole foods yesterday?? i think she said she saw you but didn't know if it was you :)

You felt kind of nervous considering the fact that your sister was texting your crush about you, right next to you. You were curious to see what he would say, but you weren't even sure he was online.

And he wasn't. The waiting was the hard part. Because now the thoughts of him went through your mind as you tried to watch the rest of your favorite movie. But how could you? For the rest of the night there was nothing and you finally went to sleep.

It was this morning that you kept wondering if he did text back. But you probably wouldn't find out until after, as you were an earlier bird that Diana. The suspense was killing you, but you knew that sitting in the middle of your bed just thinking about a response wouldn't do anything. You had to get started with your day.

You had two cheat days this last week when it came to your workouts so you knew that you would need to start the routine back again. It was tiring at the start, but you crawled out of your bed, and washed your face and brushed your teeth. When you grabbed your workout mat in the corner of your room, you walked down the stairs and then went to the living room. Moving all space necessarily, you played a home workout video and followed the excersises. You knew lowkey why you were doing this. You wanted to be productive enough to give your mind something else to think about aside from Ryan.

What would he say? You questioned as you went down for pushups. But you shook your head and stretched your body fully on the mat and went into the pushups required for this circuit. Maybe he didn't even say anything yet; it wasn't even a full 24 hours.

You did your workout, showered, and then changed into your clothes for the day. There was a small breakfast cafe you lived across the street from and some days (like today) you would just get breakfast from there. You gave it a solid minute before you shook your head. You wanted to check up in Diana, but then that would be showing signs of obsession.

But you were always obsessed, why stop now?

You went straight to Diana's room. She was sleeping peacefully even thought it was 10am. You had two choices: either wake her up and interrogate, or let her sleep and hijack her phone.

You glanced at her phone beside her and then back to her. Finally, you decided to wake your sister up. She could always go back to sleep.

"Diana..." Your voice trailed off as you gently shook her.

You were grateful Diana was a light sleeper. She slowly opened her eyes and just stared at you.

"Hey, I'm gonna grab a breakfast sandwich at the cafe, do you want anything?" You asked, building it up. You didn't want to just wake her to ask if there were any new DMs or anything.

Diana stretched, rubbing her eyes as she made an inhumane sound. She had the covers over her face so you could just see her eyes.

"Um...can I have the fudge chocolate pancakes?" Her voice was hazy and her eyes were puffy. You kind of felt bad, but you knew that as soon as you left, Diana would go back to sleep.

"For sure. Anything else?" You asked.

Diana let her eyes close as she turned to the side. "No. Thank you." Then she slowly looked over at you.

"Did Ryan say anything?" She asked, half asleep.

You smiled for half a second before keeping a straight face, trying to pretend like the plan was never to find out about Ryan.

"Uhhh...I don't know, I wouldn't know, he texted you." You said.

Diana pointed to her phone as she groaned. You could see that sleep was about to take her in a few seconds. "You can check. You know my phone password, right?"

You shook your head. "Nah, I don't think so."

Diana said the numbers groggily and you thanked her before she went back to sleep. Now that her phone (and potentially Ryan's text) was in your hands, you didn't know what to do. You were nervous for some strange reason. All you had to do was just open instagram and look at the recent DMs. But you were scared.

What if he just left Diana on read? What if this, what if that, there were so many what ifs trailing your mind. But you did remember yesterday. Technically, he reached out first, and he asked if you both went to that high school you guys all went to. It was him, no doubt.

All you had to do was check Diana's dms. That's all. Nothing big. No huge ribbon cutting ceremony. Besides, maybe he knocked out early the night before and was still sleeping. Not everyone was an early riser like you.

No matter what, you had to check.

You took a few steps away from Diana's bed, awkwardly standing in the corner of the room with her phone in your hands. You have it 10 seconds, then 30, then a minute, and then finally you took a deep breath and went to instagram.

You went to her DMs and then saw Ryan Nguyen's name on top, in bold, as there were 3 new unread messages from last night at 2am.

yes she did see me at whole foods hahaha

i didnt know if she remembered me so that's why i didn't say hi

I hope you both are doing alright though :)

You smiled. And then panicked when you saw the little indicator that said that Ryan was now online.

Shoot.

You made to where Diana was still sleeping, now moving her arm. "Diana, he texted back at 2am and he's online right now and I don't know what to do!" You said.

Diana rubbed her eyes once more, squinting as she tried to look at the phone.

"Girl, just..." She paused, now taking her phone back. You watched in anticipation as Diana looked at the screen. She seemed to be looking at it for a while before she started typing back.

"Wait, what are you doing?" You asked, trying to lounge for the phone, but Diana moved it away from your reach. She rolled over to the other side of the bed, pulling the covers on top of her as you tried to get her phone back.

After a good minute of not knowing what Diana was saying, Diana poked her head out of the blanket and set her phone down next to you before flopping back on her bed entirely, turning to the side and closing her eyes.

"There. Now he can bother you." She mumbled, before going back to her sleep.

"What do you mean?" You picked up her phone and stared at the screen, feeling shocked as soon as you saw Diana's reply.

hiii we're doing good thanks!!

awww she told me you reminded her of a guy named ryan in high school but didn't know if it was the same guy!

she doesn't have insta but here's her number if you wanna text her! shed like to catch up!

btw congrats on your success!! Definitely following you on tiktok!! :)))

Oh. My. Gosh.

You didn't know why you kept staring at the messages, as if something new would jump up. No, this was it. This was what your sister sent. And now it was directly sent to Ryan without any way you could moderate it.

There was so much to address. Diana told Ryan what you said about how this guy in whole foods reminded you of him. That was embarassing.

She ALSO gave him your number. Now what????????

You decided to place Diana's phone back on her bed and sat up. You had to keep going through the day. What was sent is now sent and there was nothing you could do about it. He had your number now. If he wanted to text you, well...your phone was right there.

So you left the house and went to the breakfast cafe with a lot of anticipation on your mind.

~~~~~

Thank you for reading!! <33

#azngami #azngamixyou #azngamifanfic #azngamixreader #ryannguyenfanfic #ryanazngami #ryannsb #ryannguyen #ryanguyen #nsbryan #northstarboys #nsb #nsbfanfic

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my-castles-crumbling · 10 months ago

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Hi cas, it’s grieving anon. Here for the vibes today. TAYLOR SWIFT… I mean…

So, ive had a few weird things happen. I got distracted and fell over, and injured myself so yay… and then I had the weirdest thing happen.

So I mentioned I got nightmares right? That I woke my mum up by shouting and sitting up in my sleep. So I have a bunk bed (small room- needed space for a desk). And a few days ago I had this creepy dream and legit propelled myself out of bed- still half asleep and panicking. Then had to climb back in.

And last night I literally crawled from lying down to the other end of my bed and climbed over the bars and fell OVER and OFF my bed to the floor 😭

You know the length of like, a normal door? It was like that far that I fell. I woke up both my parents.

IM 16! I shouldn’t be flying out of bed. Luckily i’m not too hurt tho. I remember the dream, I was just climbing over a fence, I couldn’t feel the floor but I knew it was there so I let go, and then I WOKE UP ON MY FUCKIGN FLOOR.

Like whyyyyy.

Anyway. So Long, London. My first favourite. “HOW MUCH SAD DID YOU, think I had, did you, think I had in me, HOW MUCH TRAGEDY?”

Then, of course, I Can Do It With A Broken Heart. AMAZING. Yes.

And, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?

So far, they’re my fav but i’m sure the others will claw their way into my heart too.

Anyway, my sisters been annoying me. She seems annoyingly fine. She called all the injury’s i’ve been getting “pre-exam” injuries… NO! They’re post fucking death injuries.

I know her, I know she’s suffering in silence. But it means whenever I see her, she seems fine. And it’s fucking annoying.

I don’t know anymore. My mum, she said her nightmares went away after my Nans death when she went to a grief therapist or something. i’ve never gone to a therapist. I don’t know how it’d feel. And, I don’t really have the time.

But I don’t want to wake up on my floor again.

I feel like I blinked and my life became this mess I can’t control. And I have no energy to anymore. I lost all my fire. I used to strive to learn and care and participate. Now i’d happily rot away. Why bother.

Anyway (that’s like the third time i’ve said that now 🤦‍♀️) “IM JUST GETTING COLOUR BACK INTO MY FACE IM JUST MAD AS HELL CAUSE I LOVED THIS PLACE”

Writing these at the end of some of my days has been very stress relieving so thank you. I’ve bullied myself into not picking the scab on the horrid massive cut I got from falling over. I’ve refrained from pressing into the bruises I got from sleep falling/climbing off my stupid bed.

“IS IT A WONDER I BROKE. LETS HEAR ONE MORE JOKE”

This isn’t even my usual music vibe 😭

“DONT YOU WORRY FOLKS, WE TOOK OUT ALL HER TEETH” Iconic.

“YOU SHOULD BE. YOU SHOULD BE.”

“YOU WOULDN’T LAST AN HOUR IN THE ASYLUM WHERE THEY RAISED ME”

Literally everything i’ve tried to do this week has failed. School work, running, sleeping.

I’m so tired.

Hi hon! I'm so glad to hear from you! <3

Nightmares after a loss are SUPER common, and you're right to know that they don't have to do with exams. As far as therapy, I know you said you don't have time, and I used to say the same thing but then I got to thinking...

I wasted SO much time being sad, run down, anxious, depressed. Like I probably spent at least an hour a day in anxiety paralysis, you know? So devoting an hour a week to STOPPING those symptoms actually saves me time, in the long run.

It may not feel the same for you, but it's something to think about! <3

I'm so glad you like TTPD. Using music to cope is also super helpful. Screaming lyrics is so...emotionally rejuvinating.

Keep messaging me <3 I'm thinking of you!

#ask #asks #ask cas #gri #grieving anon

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elicypher · 17 days ago

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Hey Elias

The anon with the awful father here. Gosh, last week this man managed to piss me off. First he had stupid comments about mom’s cooking, saying that she only prepares the 3 same meals when she does more than 3 same exact meals. He also made a stupid comment about my sister’s eating cause she’s a vegetarian. And it was a day where she just didn’t feel well and threw up. And when my father heard that she’s at home and of what happened he said:"She should eat normal meals". Like damn. She does eat normal meals, she only just avoids meat. Then another day, mom simply asked him twice if he’s gonna eat the meal. First she asked when the food was done. He answered normally. But some hours later she asked another time the question and he replied by yelling. I would understand the reaction if mom would be asking each 5 minutes. But she only asked twice. It wasn’t many times. He also had his stupid comments in general. On Saturday he invited his stupid colleague again and they both got drunk again. His colleague literally tried to kiss mom and even made really messed comments such as:"Don’t get offended but if your wife would be with me, she would still be able to give me 3 kids" and my father instead of saying something to protect his wife, he went:"You can take her". Like, bro?! Even if you’re joking this isn’t funny and it feels like treating women like objects which is really fucked up. I don’t care that you’re drunk. It doesn’t make it less messed up. Also mom clearly was telling them to stop drinking, and my father to get on her nerves went to take some wine or any other type of alcohol. Also when I came to check, just when my father’s colleague saw me, he already started asking about when we are starting the driving lessons. My father didn’t brought it up. The colleague did. Fuck off, I’m not making driving license with him. I’ll do it with someone else and on my own rules. He also earlier picked on mom for some things. And he also said to me and my sister that next week he wanted to go somewhere but mom told him that my sister has school. And he said:"Oh, but when she misses the lessons because she doesn’t feel well, it is okay. Huh?" On Sunday he was drinking for a bit but not much because "He wasn’t well". And today on Monday, oh boy. He invited his colleagues, they got drunk and made a mess in the garage. Mom was pissed cause she had to clean it up and she asked him to stop drinking. And he started an argument. He told her that she should be grateful that she has something to do (talking about cleaning after someone) and that he would be happy to have a life like that. Then when mom told me he got drunk like a pig, he heard her and he started insulting her and dared to call her "a bitch". Then later he went upstairs and was sleeping. But then he woke up, went downstairs, made some more stupid comments and went back to bed again. At this point mom didn’t even go to sleep with him. She stayed downstairs on the couch.

Oh my fucking God, I’m sorry for such a long message. I really wish we all were far away from that monster. I’m really hoping for karma getting up to him and him finally facing consequences of his actions. Cause he should. People like him shouldn’t be walking around freely without consequences. And to be honest, seeing him behind bars would be a pleasure for me. Or not seeing him at all. Is a miracle mom still hasn’t done anything to him. Cause the way he treats her is just plainly horrible. As for me, I haven’t been well lately. My anxiety keeps pestering me and getting on my nerves. And the fact I worry about my phone isn’t helping. I’m afraid of losing my data. I tried to make a backup of the phone but it kept saying that there is no space even when I made the space. I still didn’t get my phone to repairing yet cause I wanna try to save as much things as possible. But I hope the phone won’t be rest to the fabric settings and I won’t lose my data 🤞

Anyway have a good day/ night ✨

I know it says you’re on a hiatus, so take as much time as you need and then answer this ask. I’ll be still keeping you updated on my situation.

Hi anon. I hope things are relatively better than when you sent this ask. I'm so sorry for the late response by the way I've been super busy with stuff lmao

Don't worry about the long message, if it helps you vent your frustrations out—do it. I will always be on your side, I hope you know.

As always, your dad's behavior is beyond unacceptable and irritating, and it sucks that that someone can treat their family this way and get away with it. Your mom and sister deserve respect, and so do you. It’s disgusting how he lets his colleague behave, and then to joke about it? What a douche

You must be so tired of it all, and it’s completely valid to feel angry, upset, or just fed up. No one should have to deal with this kind of treatment, and honestly, I hope karma finds its way to him too. He's such an asshole jesus. People like that always think they can keep acting like this, but they’re not untouchable forever. Trust me

About your anxiety and your phone. Ugh I get it. Tech problems feel like the last straw when everything else is already so heavy. Maybe try transferring your files to a USB drive or even emailing important stuff to yourself? When I've run out of storage I send stuff to my alt account on Instagram so I know it's still there. It sucks that something so simple is turning into another stressor for you

You deserve peace, anon, and I’m hoping so much that you find a way out of this toxicity someday. You’re strong for getting through all this, even when it feels impossible. Keep holding on, okay? You’re worth so much more than what he puts you through. You're brave and resilient and wonderful. And I'm so glad you're alive and breathing each day

I really hope you do feel better

Take care of yourself, anon. I love you

#hes so annoying i wish i could beat him up 😭😭🙏#˗ˏˋ ★ : my anons ˎˊ˗#֢𓂃 sent asks ᝰ.ᐟ #rant post #tw rant #vent post #tw vent #tw

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blondrichclosetwitch · 3 months ago

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I’m changing mediums.

To those involved, your corruption seeps from your pores, and it is sick, and it is sad. But that’s for you to deal with. I’m not your toy nor your queen. 16 years younger, and this is your representation? I should have listened when he warned me y’all were caustic. Oh darling you didn’t know the half of it.

I’ll leave you with what I found when I did a search for Gina in my phone, which I then tried in a scene.

All the text with the exception of the closing monologue & lines from Liza/ggg come from texts messages I sent, my tarot reading on 10/02/16, (5 days before her accident)and things my analyst and her writing assistant wrote about me. If I wrote them myself, there’s an asterisk.

Here I am after the Tarot Reader brought it to my apartment. It’s symbolic that I’m covering up my nakedness with it.

ANALYST

I remember the NDE well. It was during our first August break. I always had the chain in mind of the abortion, accident and the death. Too much for one person, too close in kind to keep in mind.

Her case was haunted from the beginning by a question of belief. Vera, articulated, desperately, how much she needed to believe that I believed her, needed me to indicate that we shared the same beliefs, and asked that I validate what she was saying as the truth.

I have it written down that she made a comment about how she was always mourning a twin sister lost at Birth, and went on to suggest that she wasn't sure if it was a literal loss or more of a metaphorical one, but it had a structuring effect and was a key feature in her remembering her history. I continue to notice how this first narration she offered came up again and again in different relationships with women others, also intense and intimate and transformative in different ways.

The tarot reader & blondie especially. *

The idea of the lost twin sister always informed how i thought about the work with her. She was so often experiencing this feeling of connection being life or death.

That’s the reason she wrote me so much, I gather. *

*And then she disappeared into the spirit world. She was no longer talking to humans, just her dead niece & an italian guide born in 1902 called Gina.*

TAROT READER

yeah it looks like Gina came to you in the time when you were having a breakdown.

And it looks like she did come to you because she was pregnant and all of that, and she didn't want you to be confused about this relationship or anything like that.

It looks like she wants you to get in touch with your own magic as well that's come across as well, and she also wants to show you different sides of things and so you can actually see things more create clearly and not worry so much.

I think she's going to be very decisive and just wants to give you quick clear answers, but she doesn't look bad. She looks protective actually, a little overly protective. Because she feels like you need to be protected.

She looks she looks OK I wouldn't be wary of her she's genuine.

It looks like she just wants to give you a clear answers.

I think with her she's been through that, she knows what they are.

And she does very much care about you, and the baby.

VERA

but now I'm working with Gina who is one of my main Spirit guides who I understand connected to me in italy.

The tarot reader said Gina is a real guide. she said I can trust Gina's info but that spirit's sense of time is a little off so it's just going to take James a little while still.

Gina told me James would be shot.

Four times.

I have to do more research on this so I can understand it in more depth. but I have another spirit, Gina, who I've been talking to since I got back and she's very protective of me.

She too was pregnant.I guess that’s why she connected to me, according to my reading.

it's helpful to have a human who knows the spirit world to validate it all.

It was Gina Who woke me yesterday with thoughts of Blondie.

LIZA

And then she started to fall.

the first fall was hours after coming back from the funeral. the funeral will be the last place that she would go without the painting. it was always with her.

VERA

Gina says that all the Falls are connected to past traumas but that this was a slam to the ground of realization that I need to be done with my family. she's been saying this ever since I went to Italy.

Gina wants me to write my father a letter asking for a settlement for what he has put me through.

the gun is still happening Gina says.

Now I just work with Gina and my niece and the baby.

the funny thing is when I went back to the pharmacy I ended up pulling out Gina for the Polish woman who runs it, because her brother had died while I was in Italy and she wanted to know if he was okay. so I asked Gina if he had to send it in front of the woman and if he was okay. he was, he wasn't in the store, but he was okay and the woman was beside herself with joy to witness that. she hugged me so hard. it's the third or fourth time I've done that with a stranger. I told my analyst this morning.

Gina says we're done.

I haven't been talking to anyone at all besides my analyst and Gina and Stella.

Did I tell you Gina was born in 1902? I'm working with an Italian strega.

You're not going to believe this. this is not alternate world. I just learned from gina, my main guide, that my father sexually abused me. I don't know what to do. I obviously will let the tarot reader look at it first to verify it, but it makes sense why he flipped when I faced him at the funeral. he knew it was coming probably.

Gina says I can bring him to court.

There's only one living person who knows according to gina, the mistress Laura who was basically like my big sister.

I just have to trust that Gina would not lead me on a wild goose chase.

By the way Gina says James and I are moving to Carroll Gardens. and that we will marry next summer.

Gina says you have rich white girl privilege.

so I asked Gina if there was something more to my Falls. yes, she said. I was eight. he had just taught me to ride my bike. he took the training wheels off and the next day I landed mouth first two teeth on the ground. that's when I started falling.

ANALYST

Falling is the trauma of the father.

VERA

I have been falling over and over since, unable to speak. Falls and fucked up teeth.

(VERA is in a Gina trance, repeating everything she’s hearing to everyone around her.)

Gina has been telling me for 2 months he's getting a divorce and coming to live with me.

Gina just told me Blondie wished I would get hit by a car. remember in October Gina told me that Blondie would drive me insane?

Gina has been giving me exact dates for things. Gina says she's willing to look at stuff whenever you want. Gina wants you to understand she is preparing me to do my work.

Gina told me James would be shot.

No, I don't think Gina is fucking with me at all. Why would you say that?

(She turns to the TAROT READER.)

VERA

The painting is Gina. she just told me. when it came into my home... July 24th I think, I started to shift, and that's when my magic started and my connection to the spirit realm began to deepen. Gina has been working on me this whole time, through tarot, through the painting, through necromancy. she's my protector, she and Stella, and when you brought her into my home the transformation started. it wasn't the lachesis or Italy per se.

it was the painting.

THE TAROT READER

((smiling at her duplicitously) The story continues to unfold.

VERA

*I revisited my Google cal of spring 2017 and sure enough there were blocked off days where I went to three hotels in a row, because Stella said Blondie was on the hunt to get me arrested in Brooklyn and Gina aka the painting was insisting I'd make $1,400 a day easy, working in a Connecticut Hotel. it was the first time I was convinced to bring the painting with me. and we were there for 10 days straight. imagine 10 days with the painting witnessing all you do and a psychic estranged boyfriend telling you the contents of his heart, and a dead 9-year-old niece as a companion. almost every moment of my day and night belong to them.

but overall, I consulted Gina about everything. about possible clients, about how many days to stay, about the payoff check that I was always being promised. about what to do about psychic james. about how everything I was being told was true. the tarot reader had said Gina was a Strega, some sort of spiritual Master teacher, and so when Gina said I needed to do some sort of Sex Magic Ritual for the day witnessed by all the pictures in front of the window so the sun would shine on me, I followed her instructions to the letter.

now I realize it was for better lighting.

remembering the details of being on the hotel carpet, surrounded by important pictures.

if Stella said it, it must be true.

But if Gina said it, it was the word of God.

Once Upon a Time in 2017, Gina told me Stella was a big fat liar and possessed by the devil and purposely misleading me.

it got me in a lot of trouble.

Gina told me that I needed to banish her. I was told I had no choice.

She told me to cut up all her pictures, look up how to perform a banishment, go to the roof and banish my niece.

Gina said she would basically go to a reform school on the other side, but for my own good I needed to send her away.

(feels Stella talking to her)

Are you saying Liza was involved when I was told to banish and burn your pictures?

( She is enraged. It takes her a minute to calm down.)

I still have some of what was burned. kept the remains with the charcoal locked in a box. call me a Masochist. *

GGG2

There's more to the picture than meets the eye. (lyric message)

(Blackout.)

Addendum: Ask “Gina” about the things she told me about my dad. And how in heaven, families are different.

Oh wait, the families are different thing Katie just reminded me was fakekatie. That’s an important detail.

And to the Tarot Reader’s LP, sorry you got dragged into this. I know you had nothing to do with it.

“As clear as a cut crystal painting”

#gina

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dearsisterpooh · 3 months ago

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Dear Sister

TW death mention

It's been 24+ hours since you left us. I've been told to start writing to you to help me with your passing. I am still in denial, thinking you are just busy or asleep. But you aren't. You're....gone. We were just talking the night before....you weren't feeling well, and we even too you to the hospital, and they admitted you. You didn't want to be there, so you signed yourself out. I was there when the nurse went over the paperwork, you had to sign a form stating you were aware of the risks by leaving against the doctor's orders....they even said, you could die. And 48 hours later, you were gone.

I'm all that's left of our original family...we lost daddy, then mom a couple of years later, and now you, my only sister. I am alone now and I don't know how to keep going. I really don't. Of course I still have family. Your husband, my BIL as well as your 3 girls and their kids...I love them all so much and I know they will be there for me, but it's not the same. Nothing will ever be the same now.

I messaged you yesterday at 5:48 am to check on you, and I didn't get a reply so I assumed you were sleeping. I wish I would have called...maybe this could have been prevented, or you would have been found sooner. We begged you to stay in the hospital, but you said you had people that were counting on you. You guys were in the middle of trying to move and you didn't want to be in the hospital alone while everyone else was busy with the move. I know how much you hated being alone. Brian is so lost without out. Your girls are so distraught. Ann was so upset she made herself sick and had to go to the hospital. Harlie...well you know. She's the middle child, but with her autism and adhd, she is not doing well.... Liz, as the oldest child, is telling me how much she is broken, but is putting on "armor" and a brave face so she can be there for her dad.

Why? Why now? We don't even know exactly what happened, except Harlie woke up to use the bathroom and check on you, and found you on the ground unresponsive. This is eerily just like mom's passing. Almost the same spot on the floor. 4 days before mom's birthday and 5 years since she passed. I don't know if this means anything or not. Was mamma calling you home? All I know is that it was too soon! I was not ready to say goodbye. We talked literally every single day and night, and now my phone is silent. So many things are going to change now. I am so lost without out. I hope we can get some answers. The whole family is broken up now, the trailer is being sold, and from what I was told yesterday, your girls are going to go in and just take the most important things and leaving the rest, since it was listed for sale as is.

I am going to try and foster your cat Nabisco until Brian and the girls can find a new place to live. You were talking about getting a house big enough for everyone and I think that would be for the best. Family stays together. I know Nabisco loved you and you loved that little cat so much, so I do not want him to get lost or surrendered due to all this.

It's Sunday morning, and I've been in touch with everyone to check in on them...they are doing their best. I am too but I think I am taking your loss so much worse than mom and dad's. You were all I had left and now I feel alone. Even though I know I am not, I just don't think anyone understands the bond we had. Wes is doing his best to try and comfort me, but you know that was never his strong suit.

I love you so fucking much sissy and I miss you. I keep looking at my phone expecting to get a message from you. Please give me a sign, anything, to let me know you can read this. I don't have any more words.... Please say hi to mom and dad for me.

#personal #tw death mention #death #loss #sister #siblings #i love you #i miss you

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wykedstories · 5 months ago

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Chapter 4: The Coffee Shop.

As everyday starts this one starts the same. I woke up this morning at a crisp four am, and got my makeup and hair done. I'll admit I was so lazy today even I'm ashamed. I can't even blame it on being tired, it's just pure laziness. Instead of doing the whole eyeshadow and everything I just slapped on some mascara, eyeliner and, my shimmer lip gloss to complete a simple look. It's so early and I'm ready to hit the road so that Darcy and I can have breakfast. I slap my shoes on and make sure everything is packed neatly in my black backpack then I proceed to throw it over my shoulder and head downstairs. As I head downstairs I hear my mom and dad talking to my little sister Mia.

Mia has been at my grandparents since the weekend, she's finally home. I love Mia. She has the cutest little smile, let me tell you she's the cutest 5 year old ever! As for my dad he's normally out of state for work so he must have come home while i was sleeping! I walk into the kitchen where everyone is and I say my hellos and goodbyes quickly then head out the door to my car to pick up darcy! I hopped in the car and plugged my music in so that I could get the mood set for the day today. It's feeling like a Slipknot kind of morning.

As I get everything set up and my first song picked I see that Darcy messaged me. As I look at my phone I see “ Hey babes, we're still on for breakfast im up and ready to go see you soon!”.

I responded to her with “ awesome love i'll see you soon im on my way.”

Back to duality by slipknot oh the wonderful sounds of metal in the morning. I casually roll up to Darcie's house and she's just as casually standing outside waiting for me to get here like she is waiting for the bus.

“Hey girl hey, I'm so beyond ready for that chai latte that's calling my name!” she squeaked as she waltzed over to my car.

“Girl, no coffee for me. I am really trying to lay off the caffeine so I think I'm gonna get a refresher and a nice breakfast sandwich.” I responded.

“ Oh Leah common now after this week at school you definitely deserve that coffee. Get that caffeine girl you only live once! What happened to your large caramel macchiato with 4 shots of espresso and your bacon bagel?”.

“Yeah you are right fuck it im getting my coffee!” I sharply said back to her.

“ That's my Girl,” Darcy replied. Then we made the mutual decision to crank that music up and jam all the way to the coffee shop. Darcy was dancing in the passenger seat and boy was she having the time of her life. I love seeing Darcy happy. It literally makes my whole day when she has that goofy smile on her face. I was paying attention to driving when I noticed something really odd. There was this guy in a black hoodie walking down the road who looked hurt. He looked as if he was limping but I am not one to stop for strangers.

I thought about mentioning it to Darcy just because of the weird feeling I got from it, instead I just kept it to myself and onto the coffee shop I drove. We finally got to the coffee shop, not to mention traffic wasn't so hateful. I always complain about traffic but in reality I'm sure it's nothing like what New York City is. I couldn't even imagine driving in Vinces city. I bet driving is heaven here for him.

“Hey do you want to drive through or go in?” I asked her as I simultaneously turned the music down.

“I think we should go in and order if you're not opposed?” Darcy replied.

“Going in to order it is” I say loud and proud. We jumped out of the car like we haven't had coffee in months. As we walked up there was an older couple coming out so I stepped over by the door and opened it for them. You know it's the kind thing to do. I smiled at them when they thanked me and I told them to have a blessed day. Darcy and I walked in and ordered our coffee and breakfast that took about 25 minutes to long.

As we walked out the doors of the coffee shop I felt this wave of uneasiness go over me, I looked around instantly to see if something was going on and that's when I looked on the other side of the street and saw the guy in the black hoodie limping towards the coffee shop. I glanced over at Darcy and she was sipping on her coffee unphased, so I continued to ignore those uneasy feelings and went back to the car to head to school of the day.

#books #bookblr #reading #thriller #suspense #mystery

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jenniefromdblock · 1 year ago

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Drained

[Originally posted on JULY 21, 2021 ]

I rushed my mom twice to the ER the other day (7/16/2021) due to her complaining about an excruciating pain on her left side.

I woke up with her moaning in pain around 7am, so I immediately got up and packed a lot of disinfectants and my laptop (I had to work) and drove to 2 goverment hospitals’ ER. The 1st one just referred us to the 2nd, the 2nd just prescribed meds. They were prioritizing COVID patients, even though their ERs are empty (shoutout to the 2nd which is QCGH). I’m not going to comment on how they handled our situation because I know they have their “reasons”. Since Mom was still in so much pain, we went ahead to Capitol Med. Yes, I know it is private and expensive but fuck it. It’s Mom.

We arrived at around 11am (I had no concept of time, I just wanted the day to be over) and we were immediately attended to. Mom was hooked up to an IV (omeprazole at first, then liquid paracetamol), blood works, urinalysis, and xray were done. When I asked her, she says the pain was level 8 and went to intermittent. There were also times that it goes away. According to her urinalysis, they found specks of blood, so they Rx’d Mom to be CT scanned for suspected kidney stones. During that time I kept on asking her if she can manage the pain, etc. She was like meh, and we were already given prescriptions so we decided that we will sign the waiver to not perform the CT Scan at that moment (the reason and backstory later). We were discharged around 4pm.

I was able to settle a bit when we got home and go back to working. Not even two hours later, Mom was again writhing in pain and she was crying “Lord, please make it stop.” Her pain tolerance is so high that seeing her in that situation was very alarming, so thats when I decided to ask my sister to call an ambulance (I was no longer in the right mental and emotional state to drive at that moment) while I prepare the stuff we need in case she gets confined.

We were brought again to Capitol Med because at least they already know us, the guard was literally like “Uy, parang kanina lang…”. We agreed to do the CT Scan and results says the pain is caused by kidney stones.

Also, even though my Mom doesn’t feel anything, they saw an 8x12x12 benign cyst on her right ovaries. While the doctor assured us its nothing and can be treated easily, they referred us to an OB GYN, who explained the next steps for treatment to us.

Honestly at that point, I hear garbled messages. I can no longer process anything because all I worry about was how the fuck am I going to pay for the hospital bills because I am super bankrupt.

The Backstory: I was retrenched in December 2020 and we were trying to survive off my separation pay (which isn’t that big amount so if you ask me, no I didn’t even have the chance to enjoy it). In April 2021, I got a freelancing job and I am in contract until December, which I am very thankful for. But what I earn is just enough for the utility bills and monthly groceries for 3 people. Yes, I also have been the provider in this house.

I only have Php 1,000 ($20) in my bank account. I have 2 credit cards that I have not been using and been paying off so I can cut it.

But I had to. I maxed out the limit of my first credit card to settle the hospital bills during our ER Visit #1. I had no choice but to do the same for my second to pay off ER Visit #2, not to mention the prescribed medicines worth 2 weeks. Oh btw, the OB GYN consultation fee needed to be paid in cash, so yeah goodbye 1k. Before, I psych myself bankrupt but I still have like 10k+ in the bank. But now, I am literally, really, very, zero balance.

At this point I am not sure how will I be able to bring her to a urologist, another OB GYN session and possible operation.

Well, going back to the main story… we got home around 12am. Mom was still in pain but at least we know the cause. Also, the pain reliever works so Mom was able to sleep enough.

I am still mentally and emotionally drained. Most of all, financially.

So that’s how the day went.

#mentally drained #emotionally drained #keep fighting

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urwelcomeforthis · 3 years ago

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Alex’s tattoo shows up the day after she punches Marcus Hinkle.

He had been picking on Kara in the hallway, dangling her math book above her head, taking advantage of his summer growth spurt.

Kara still doesn’t know what possessed Alex – Marcus Hinkle had been a thorn in her side since she had landed on Earth and started school a year ago, but whatever the reason, today was the day Alex couldn’t take anymore.

Eliza had been furious. Jeremiah had been (not so) silently proud.

Kara didn’t know what she had felt, really. Especially not when she asked Alex why, and the older girl had just shrugged and said “You’re my sister. It’s what we do.”

Up until this point being sisters meant fights in the hallway over the bathroom and ignoring each other at the dinner table.

Apparently, things were changing.

Kara is just waking up when she hears Alex’s hushed “What the hell?”

“What is it?” She asks, groggily sitting up and wiping at the sleep in her eyes.

Her sister is holding her forearm up, frantically scrubbing at a spot right in the middle, her eyes frantic.

“I don’t…. I don’t know! It’s like a tattoo but I didn’t get a tattoo! Fuck, Mom is going to kill me.” Alex sounds panicked as she continues scrubbing at the spot, and Kara feels her heartbeat speed up.

“You had a tattoo just appear on your skin?” Kara asks slowly, her mind suddenly far away on a planet that doesn’t exist anymore, in a culture she had been forced to leave behind.

Alex stops scrubbing and looks at Kara with a piercing gaze. “Yeah. It’s some funny symbol too, like the way you used to write before you learned English. Did you do this to me?”

Alex leaps off the bed and crosses the room in two quick strides, arm held out like an accusation.

Kara shrinks in on herself a little but nods. “I think so. I didn’t know it was possible here, but well, on Krypton when your soul mate reveals themselves, a tattoo linking you appears. I should have one too, somewhere, if you do.”

Alex stops dead in her tracks, her eyes wide. “Soul mates? But we’re sisters! That’s so gross!”

Jumping up from the bed, hands held up in surrender Kara hastens to explain further. “No! Not like that, I promise! Back home, people had different kinds of soul mates. Sometimes it was the romantic kind like you talk about here on Earth, but other times it could just be a compatible soul, someone who was meant to be a part of you.”

Alex still looks wary, if not relieved, as she tentatively holds out her arm. “So, what does this mean? What kind of soul mates are we?”

Stepping forward Kara delicately traces the symbols on Alex’s forearm. “It literally means “sister of the soul.” Je shesur. The symbol after it is unique, the way we would know we were linked. If this had happened on Krypton it would mean we were soul sisters. Not from the same parents but family just the same.”

Alex nods. “And here on Earth? What does it mean here?”

“The same thing. At least that’s what it means to me.” Kara refuses to meet Alex’s eyes, not sure she wants to see what waits for her there.

There’s a long minute of silence after Alex takes her arm back. The clearing of her throat brings Kara’s eyes up from their place on the ground.

“Where’s yours?” Alex asks, eyes burning with curiosity.

Kara shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s not on my arms like yours is. It must be hidden. Can you look on my back?”

“Sure.” Alex nods. “Lift up your shirt.”

Kara turns and tugs her shirt up and over her head. It takes a moment, but she hears her sister gasp followed by the feel of fingertips against her left shoulder blade.

“It’s the same as mine.” Alex says reverently, and Kara closes her eyes against the emotion welling up there.

Who would have thought she would get to have this piece of home?

“So, I guess I’m stuck with you. For like, ever, huh?” Alex smiles once Kara has turned back around.

Kara grins back. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Alex shrugs. “Could be worse. But you have to tell Mom about this, because she’ll never believe me, and she is going to be pissed that I have a tattoo.”

“Sure, I can tell Mom.” Kara grins, a piece of her heart settling in place. She hasn’t felt at home on Earth, not really, but at this moment she feels like it isn’t all that bad.

The next person to get a tattoo is, interestingly enough, James.

It doesn’t come when they’re dating, or whatever it was that they were doing, no.

It comes after he has revealed himself to be Guardian, and he and Kara have the biggest fight of their friendship.

Kara wakes up the morning after tired, groggy, and more than a little cranky. Its as she’s stripping down to get in the shower that she notices it – the Kryptonese scrawled along the inside of her right bicep.

Throniv Shesur. Protector of the soul.

Kara heaves a deep, deep, sigh and grabs her phone.

She meets James at the DEO, both tentative around each other after the yelling match of the day before.

“So. I woke up with a tattoo. Kryptonese. Any idea what that’s about?” James looks smug, like he’s won some kind of battle with Kara and god, at that moment she wishes they were in the training room and she could just punch him.

“Yeah. I did too. It means “protector of the soul.” She crosses her arms against her chest, desperately trying to hold onto her anger from yesterday but the wide grin on James’ face is making it hard.

“I know. I asked Clark first thing since I figured you’re still pissed at me. He was a little surprised, but he translated it for me.”

“Where’s it at?” Kara asks, still pretending to be upset but truthfully it was hard given the glaring message from home telling her that James was meant to be Guardian. That they were meant to protect each other. Protect others together.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” James says with a waggle of his eyebrows and that’s what finally breaks Kara, a laugh ringing out across the room.

It wasn’t who she expected to have a tattoo, not in this way at least, but if it had to be anyone, she’s glad it’s James.

Mon-El doesn’t get a tattoo. Kara wishes she were more disappointed.

The last person to get a tattoo is someone Kara had desperately hoped both would and would not get a tattoo.

For a long time, she feared what that tattoo would be, if it were to happen. She feared having to explain it, having to explain herself.

She had checked with Clark a few times, when paranoia would get the better of her.

No, he always told her. Lex did not have a tattoo. They were enemies, yes, but it hadn’t been decided by destiny or fate. It just was.

That mollified Kara because she couldn’t stand it if she and Lena were to become Clark and Lex. She would fight against it, fight against fate to keep it from happening.

And then, well. It kind of happens anyways.

They aren’t enemies, not really. Lena just hates Kara and aims a few Kryptonite cannons at her and tries to mind control the entire planet, but really everyone is allowed a brief lapse of their sensibility, right?

And what matters is she came around, in the end.

It did take time, however, for them to build back to what they once had. It was different now, but in the way that things once broken and fixed usually are.

It was better, if anything.

They were back to shared lunches and dinners, quick breakfasts and coffee breaks. They were back to game nights as partners and movie nights as friends, and the occasional sleepovers as best friends.

Things were finally back to normal, so of course Kara had to go and absolutely, irrevocably, mess it up.

It was Alex’s fault, really.

If she hadn’t said anything, if she hadn’t asked Kara what was up between her and Lena lately, Kara probably never would have stopped to think about it.

She never would have stopped to think about the way her heart sped up when Lena entered a room, or the way her palms got sweaty when they hugged, or the way she just could not stop staring at Lena when she laughed at game nights.

But now she had thought of it and had come to the very scary conclusion that she was in love with her best friend.

Her best friend who didn’t have a tattoo.

She would, after all this time, have a tattoo, the tattoo, if they were meant to be together, right?

Kara mulls it over for weeks. It haunts her. She asks Lena about tattoos, and if she has any.

She learns that yes, in fact Lena does have tattoos and boy howdy one of them is on her lower back and it is seared into the back of her eyes now that she has seen it.

But she doesn’t have any kryptonian tattoos, which is really what Kara was aiming for.

Much like it was Alex’s fault that Kara even realized she was in love, it’s also Alex who reminds Kara of one important detail.

“Well I didn’t get my tattoo until after I punched what’s his face. Maybe you have to tell Lena how you feel and then she’ll get the tattoo.”

Kara feels dumb struck, right there on her own couch, because of course, Alex is right.

The tattoos always come after the person has already revealed themselves.

Then of course comes the true fear: what if she tells Lena and she still doesn’t get a tattoo?

That’s the question she’s mulling over the next night as she and Lena sit on her couch watching some documentary that had been put on Netflix.

Lena looks beautiful, face bare of makeup, hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun, glasses slipping down her nose.

She’s eating a piece of pizza, a rare treat after a long week of work, and Kara decides that it doesn’t matter if Lena doesn’t get a tattoo.

She’s hopelessly, desperately in love with the woman and she can’t let a tattoo that may or may not come dictate her life.

“I’m in love with you, you know.” Kara blurts out, like this isn’t a life changing moment, like it’s the easiest thing in the world to say. (It is.)

Lena chokes a little on the bite she was swallowing, her hand coming up to her chest as she sets down the slice.

“Excuse me?”

Kara laughs. She’s never felt more free than in this moment. “I’m in love with you. I just thought you should know.”

Lena looks at her, shock written all over her face. “Oh. I guess that’s good.”

“Just good?” Kara nudges Lena’s thigh with her knee.

Lena shakes her head. “I mean it’s more than good, considering I’m in love with you too.”

“Yeah?” Kara could float up to the moon, she thinks.

Lena smiles, nose crinkled. “Yeah.”

It’s the next morning that Lena calls and asks if Kara can stop by. She has this tattoo she didn’t have yesterday, right on her ribcage, and it looks like it’s Kryptonian.

Kara frantically searches her own body, finding the script on her hip, on the left side.

Zhao Shesur. Love of the soul.

It took them five years to get to this point, but Kara knows, this moment was more than worth the wait.

#i took some liberties with kryptonese #here have a drabble #supercorp #lena luthor x kara danvers #lena luthor #supergirl #just some ideas on different kinds of soul mates and soul mates in general #not fully formed but this is as good as its going to get #i promise this has supercorp

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dancingamongstdust · 3 years ago

Text

Creepypasta Scenarios - First Meeting (Part 1)

Ben Drowned

You had promised, sworn on your very life, that you wouldn’t laugh. It was an oath. One to be taken very seriously.

“Using your hand to muffle the sound still counts as laughing.”

Part of you felt really bad but that made you snicker even harder. Your best friend, at the very least, did appear extremely shaken about the entire thing. She sat on the edge of the couch with her arms crossed. Dark bags had formed beneath her eyes and her attention seemed unable to stray from the Nintendo 64 that sat between you.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “But you have to understand how this sounds. You’re telling me that you’re being haunted by a literal video game.”

She pulled her legs to her chest. The amount of weight that she had lost recently couldn’t possibly be healthy. “I knew you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Have you considered talking to a psychiatrist?” you offered. “Or perhaps selling this game?”

“He would kill me.”

You picked up the Nintendo 64 and stared at the main menu of the game. It looked pretty normal to you. You fiddled around with the settings to turn the music down. “I really think that talking to somebody about this would help.”

“That’s what you don’t understand,” she said. “I want to stop playing. I want to speak to people but all that he wants is for me to continue trying to beat the game. There’s no way to win! The entire thing is rigged!”

“Have you looked up a guide?”

She groaned. “Nobody’s going to listen to me.”

An awkward silence fell over the room and you shifted around in your seat before offering some coffee. She accepted but the kettle had barely been boiling for a few seconds when her phone chimed happily.

“Oh look, he wants to play now,” she muttered. She thrust the device to you. “Take a look for yourself.”

The notification had come through an app called CleverBot. It was a very simple ‘hi’ message that didn’t really seem all too haunting. You opened it up and clicked around the app for a little. “Looks like just a chatroom,” you said. “Why’d you download this?”

“I didn’t. I just woke up the one day and it was on my phone.”

You closed the app and returned to the home screen. It immediately reopened and the same message popped up again. An identical thing happened the second time. And then again.

“This looks like a virus,” you said. “It’s probably best to uninstall.”

Clicking on the button made the icon disappear for a short while but it was quick to reappear. This time, when the chatroom opened itself, the message had changed to simply say ‘rude’.

You pursed your lips. That was suspicious enough for you to understand her potential worries. “I don’t think that it’s haunted but you should probably take it to a professional to have it wiped or something. And maybe consider less porn in the future?”

Your joke fell flat but it died when the chatbot began typing. Not too long after, another message had come through.

‘I don’t hang out in such places.’

“Can…” you trailed off. “No, there’s no way that they’ve hacked the microphone, right?”

‘Don’t need to hack in to hear what you’re saying.’

The colour drained from your face and you quickly glanced towards your friend. She didn’t seem panicked, even when you showed her the message. If anything, her expression was resigned as though this was a regular occurrence.

You didn’t get too much time to respond when a horrible static sound came through her phone. The screen began flashing and blurry images raced across it. A distorted version of the Majora’s Mask theme song started playing. It felt like your ears were bleeding. Scared, you threw the phone to the floor and, with a shattering crack, everything stopped.

For a while, you stared at it but then she said, “He’s going to be pissed with that.”

There was a chime from somewhere on your right. Your own phone’s screen lit up. Nervously, you reached over to check on it.

A single notification stood there, from an app called CleverBot.

‘You Shouldn’t Have Done That.”

Bloody Painter

The park was busy this time of day and filled with an awaiting audience – whether they were interested in watching the performance or not. Many seemed to appreciate it though, taking the flyers handed out by your group.

It was nearing midday when you ran out of pamphlets. You stretched and pushed your hair away from your face, relishing in the feeling of sun against skin.

Your gaze drifted across the park’s patrons before settling on one that you had been watching since the beginning of your performance. He didn’t look up much. A sketchpad sat on his lap and tousled brown hair hung over his face. You hadn’t caught his attention once but he had certainly kept yours.

“Can you hand me another lot of flyers?” you asked one of the other girls with her.

She handed them over and you put on your best grin before making your way to the tree he was sitting under.

He looked up when your shadow fell over his sketchbook. His work was considerably abstract and nothing that you could identify with ease. There weren’t too many colors though.

“Hello!” you greeted cheerily. “I don’t mean to bother but what did you think of the show?”

He blinked up at you. “I didn’t see it.”

The man was a master of deadpan but you didn’t allow your smile to drop. You lowered the flyer and sighed, “That’s a shame. It’s so rare that we have attractive people at our shows… you should consider coming to our actual performances sometime. Everybody loves musicals.”

He didn’t even react to the compliment. No smirk or even a blush. It was as though you hadn’t spoken one word.

“I’ve seen your face before,” he said. “You do this kind of thing quite often. Don’t you get tired of people staring at you?”

You chuckled. “I wouldn’t be in this line of business if I was too self-conscious. When they stare for too long, I like to imagine that it’s because I’m the most beautiful person they’ve ever seen.” Running your fingers through your hair, you offered him your most dazzling smile. “And if you remember me, that’s a certain compliment.”

“You can take it whatever way you want but it doesn’t mean anything.”

It was tempting to give up. Flirting with cute boys was only entertaining when they responded with… something. This boy just stared.

“So you’re an artist, right? You’d have a good point of view on whether or not I’m actually pretty.”

“My opinions on people are rarely accurate.”

His response made you uncomfortable, though you couldn’t quite put your finger on why. Something of a warning twisted in your stomach. A light had lit behind his eyes but it didn’t seem like something you wanted to tie yourself to.

It appeared it was time to give up your pursuit. “Well, I really should get going. Perhaps I’ll see you at the next performance.”

His eyes drifted to the pamphlet that you held. “Were you planning on giving me that?”

“Offering it but you don’t have to –“

“I’ll take it,” he said, putting down his pencil and holding out his hand. “Your show wasn’t too entertaining but I enjoyed watching the performance you just put on. Rather like a peacock strutting its feathers.”

So he wasn’t oblivious then… just teasing. You had no idea if it showed his genuine interest or if he was merely taunting now.

With a slight scowl, you passed it over. He tucked it into his sketchbook and then closed it, standing up. He was scrawnier than you had anticipated but he still had a considerable height – holding at least a few inches over you.

“Thank you,” you said.

He left without another word. You rolled your eyes and made a point to ignore any thoughts about him for the rest of the day. Perhaps you shouldn’t have given him your information… after all, that flyer had your full name and everything.

And you knew absolutely nothing about him.

Candy Pop

Hospitals were the worst places in the world.

They smelled too clean and looked too false. You generally avoided them as much as possible unless it was absolutely necessary. When a close family member found themselves locked within the walls, unfortunately, it wasn’t possible to stay away.

You wrinkled your nose as you walked into the room. The sterilized smell burnt you.

Most of it was what you had expected but the young, child-like scream made you jump and nearly drop every gift you were holding.

Your aunt jumped up from her chair beside the hospital bed. “What’s wrong?!” she asked, fussing over your cousin.

She was barely over eleven and had badly injured her leg during a biking competition. Your mom had told you that everybody in the family was going to visit her, encouraging you to go together in order to drop off some gifts.

“I’m sorry,” the little girl said quickly. “I don’t like balloons and I thought… it doesn’t matter. Sorry.”

You moved them behind you a little, trying to block her line of sight. “No, no, I should have asked first. You could have been allergic to latex or something and then I’d be feeling really bad about it.”

“She’s been particularly on edge thanks to these awful nightmares,” your aunt explained.

“Nightmares?” you asked.

The little girl seemed pale at its mention, pulling her blanket up to her nose and watching everybody wearily. “They’re just bad dreams,” she said. “You said that they couldn’t hurt me.”

Her mother hurriedly rubbed her shoulder and offered a warm smile. “They definitely can’t,” she reassured.

“Are they about the fall?” you asked.

“Sometimes.”

You settled down in one of the chairs as your own mother began speaking to her sister. They were able to discuss everything from the colour of grass to what they thought would be the best country to live in. You weren’t particularly interested in what they were saying and, after a while of trying to chirp in, you just let the lack of sleep catch up to you.

Your dreams came to you quickly, faster than usual and sharp in an uncomfortable sort of way.

You found yourself standing in a large field. The sky was grey and the grass tall enough to reach your knees. Everything felt bright. It hurt your eyes to stare at anything for too long.

Normally, dreams didn’t feel as such, but you were certain that this was one. There was no purpose to where you were. No inclination to walk in a specific direction or try to understand what was happening.

Just confusion.

You took a step forward and a soft wind wrapped around you. It brushed through the grass, dancing around the trees. Something was watching.

You turned and two, glowing lights floated above the ground.

Slowly, mist gathered around the two spots. As you stepped back, it began to solidify – quickly forming a more recognisable shape. The figure tilted its head to the side and a slight jingling sound filled the air. It stepped forward then and the glow faded from its eyes, revealing just what stood before you.

He was a jester, though certainly more modern than the old king’s versions. Blue hair hung around his shoulders and his entire outfit jingled with hundreds of bells. A smile graced his face and he stepped forward.

You moved away.

His smile disappeared and his eyes narrowed. The mist appeared again and he vanished into it.

You looked around frantically. He was gone. The wind picked up unexpectedly, howling in your ears. You raised your hands to shield your face and something grabbed your wrist. Before you could turn to see, you hurdled away from the meadow and awoke spluttering for air.

“Are you alright?” your aunt asked.

In the corner of your eye, you swore you saw a blue jester but, when you turned to look, he was gone. “Yeah,” you said, rubbing your chest. “Yeah, I’m good.”

Your made eye contact with your cousin and swallowed thickly. The look on her face said it all.

Clockwork

Every night, without fail, you saw her sitting there when you arrived home from work.

She always wore the same thing and, initially, you had thought that she would play on her phone for hours at a time. It didn’t appear that she had a phone, however, as you came to realise. Whatever she was holding was circular and fit perfectly within the palm of her hand.

You mentioned it to the building manager the second time she was there until like two in the morning. He had said that they thought she was homeless but, as far as they could tell, she wasn’t dangerous. You reassured him that your worries weren’t about her presence due to any perceived problem but he had just nodded.

She never moved while she was waiting. Not even to adjust her weight or brush the hair from her face.

A few of your neighbours used the very eloquent reasoning that she was merely crazy.

Occasionally, you heard children from the area parroting their parents. Rumours abound that she was a ghost who would attack anybody if they spoke to her. You scoffed each time it was said but many believed the stories.

You were arriving home late one night when you spotted her sitting in the usual spot. It was strange for you to feel anything beyond exhaustion on the nights when hospital jobs ran too long but this time, a strange anticipation settled itself in your stomach.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “Are you okay?”

Her hair was dirty and her coat looked as though it hadn’t been washed for years. Now that you were close, you could make out what appeared to be dried blood on her shirt.

“Go away,” she said, shaking her head from side to side.

“I have medical experience,” you responded. “And I know some good places to stay in the area. I can –“

“Good for you,” she sneered. “Leave me alone. You’re going to make me miss it.”

The object she was holding was an old pocket watch. It looked like something you would find in an antique store and pay insane amounts of money for. Though, it didn’t appear to be working. The clock hands sat at a set time and didn’t move in the slightest.

“I want to help you if that’s okay,” you said.

She forced out a laugh that sounded as though it physically pained her. “You want to help me?!” she cackled, throwing her hair over her shoulder. “Isn’t that sweet.”

You stumbled away from her and clasped a hand over your mouth. Her face…

Her mouth was torn to pieces, jagged cuts that ripped through the skin there and had been crudely stitched back together. But that wasn’t the worst. No, the worst part of it was her left eye that had a pocket watch shoved into the socket and forcefully stitched there. The injury flared red with infection and pain.

“What’s wrong little doctor?!” she cawed. “No longer feeling like saving the poor girl you found on the side of the road?”

You steeled your resolve and straightened. “I’m still willing to offer help if you need it,” you said in your strongest voice. “That injury is severe and needs attending to if you want to save the eye.”

The eye was definitely gone and she knew it as well, scoffing at your offer. “No chance of that. Why do you people like pretending that you care?”

“I do care.”

She responded with a mocking expression and stood unexpectedly. “Sure you do.” She tapped the front of the pocket watch with her nail. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to get to work. I nearly missed it thanks to your nagging. I’ll see you tomorrow, doctor.”

And she marched off into the night.

Dark Link

The vase that you were holding was beautifully polished and almost brand new. As you lifted it, something rattled around within.

“Why are you selling this for such a low price?” you asked.

The woman was middle-aged with a falsely high voice and bright, darting eyes. “It was a gift,” she said. “But I decided against keeping it. I wasn’t sure how low the price should be but it’s not like I’m losing any money.”

You decided against buying it, thanking her and walking away quickly. While you were looking through a few pieces of jewelry, your arm was grabbed and a small object pushed into your chest.

“Here you go!” you friend chimed. “Consider it to be a late birthday present!”

You took the game cartridge and examined it closely. “Zelda, again?” you asked. “I’ve already tell you that –“

“Yes, yes, I know that they’re not your thing but if you haven’t tried all the games then how are you meant to know there isn’t just one that you like?”

Sighing, you took the game and dropped it into your purse. It was dirty and definitely well used. A bit of black paint flaked off on your fingers.

Another game for you to keep in your cupboard and not look at again until months later when you were asked about your opinion on it. It wasn’t your fault that you didn’t have the console you needed and the simple answer of ‘just buy one for cheap’ wasn’t always available.

But in the coming weeks, you quickly realised that this wasn’t just another game.

At first, the things that went wrong were too minor to even pay attention to. Electronics started breaking frequently until the point where you had replaced your stereo twice in a week and no longer had a television. After that, you started feeling sickly and uncomfortable whenever you were in the house. A feeling of imposing nature settled upon your shoulders.

You spent more time away from home, staying away for as long as you could. When you tried to dogsit for your brother, the pup wouldn’t even enter the house.

It was late at night when you woke up in a cold sweat. Nausea coiled in your stomach and your heart was beating at the speed of light.

At first, you had no idea what had woken you.

And then you heard the rattling.

It was coming from the next room over. As though somebody had taken hold of your desk and was shaking it as roughly as they could.

You scrambled for your phone but it wasn’t there. It was sitting in your office.

You took a deep breath and slowly stepped from your bed. Your head felt fuzzy, as though you weren’t able to wake up properly. Every step was slow and lethargic.

Stumbling toward the door, you gingerly grabbed the handle. As you opened it, your mind caught up with your body and you remembered that you shouldn’t just burst in on a potential invader.

But it was too late.

The person, for it had to be a person, stood in the middle of the room. Its body was so dark that it blended in with the shadows surrounding it. Two bright red eyes shone, illuminating enough that it showed some of the creatures ashen features. It had sharp features that were definitely human. Though as you stared at it, you knew that it was anything but.

It smiled and began turning into small squares, pixelating into the air and disappearing into something behind it.

You flicked on the light as fast as you could but it was gone. Sitting in the middle of the desk, the black cartridge seemed to emit its own darkness.

Dr. Smiley

The building was beyond restoration, crumbling and derelict. You were sure that it hadn’t been occupied for at least a decade. Perhaps even longer.

For months now, you had been going through the motions to have everything approved and organised. You had gotten clearance, hired the workers, discussed things with any neighbours, and even paid extra for the best machinery to get everything done quicker.

And now they were refusing to do anything.

“I’m sorry, and I will compensate for the time wasted, but my men are saying no,” the on-site manager said. “I know you’re not from these parts but we’ve always known there’s something wrong with this building. Rumours and superstitions abound and I wouldn’t blame my men for not wanting to anger a ghost.”

“They’ll be pissing off something far worse than a ‘ghost’ if they continue refusing to even go in there,” you snapped.

He glanced towards his workers and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Once he left, you turned your attention to the house. Why anybody would have wanted a house in this location was beyond you but now that you had inherited it, you could see potential.

Although the entire place was probably crawling with all manners of disgusting flora.

Perhaps you could use that to get the health counsel to do the job for you.

They will still talking and you could see the weariness on their faces. Sighing, you stalked your way to the front door and pushed it open with one hand. It creaked with the effort.

You stood with your hands out towards the men. “I’m going to walk this entire house!” you called. “And if your ghost doesn’t accost me while I’m there, then I’m going to be expecting you to all get on with it, alright?”

Nothing immediately jumped at you when you entered. The door struggled to open and it swung shut on its own accord. If that was the haunting that they were talking about…

A roach skittered along the floor in front of you, darting under a derelict sofa stained with an unknown substance. Several of the windows had been broken so it wasn’t surprising to find that graffiti and markers had been used to etch various names into the walls.

You walked through a destroyed kitchen, passed a bedroom with a smashed crib, and even kicked open a door that led to a filthy storage room.

No ghost jumped out at you.

Problems started presenting themselves when you walked down one of the hallways and pushed open a bedroom door. The entire room felt set apart from the rest of the place with almost-new curtains that had been drawn shut. Blankets covered the bed, dirty but still there. You immediately thought somebody may be squatting there but your concerns changed when you noticed the wall.

Black mold. It crawled its way up the side, covering most of what had once been white wallpaper. You brought one hand up to shield your mouth and stepped out, slamming the door closed.

If there was an infestation then you had to get the health department immediately. This was –

Your thoughts were interrupted by something grabbing you. Panic filled your mind as a sharp weapon was pressed against your throat.

“Well now, I just know that you don’t have an appointment,” a voice said close to your ear. “I don’t like trespassers.”

Thinking on instinct, you threw your head backwards as hard as you could. There was a satisfying impact followed by a loud yelp of pain. The weapon around your throat moved away so you kicked the guy in the shin and bolted for it.

The house felt bigger while you were running but nobody came after you. You didn’t hear any footsteps or other sounds of a chase.

Bursting through the front door, you winced at the bright light. The house hadn’t seemed nearly that dark until compared to the outside.

You collided with one of the workers in your rush and nearly knocked everybody to the ground.

“What’s happened?”

“It was that ghost, I’m telling you.”

“We warned her, boss.”

You cleared your throat and straightened up, making eye contact with each man individually. “There is no ghost,” you said. “Only a squatter who I shall deal with using police force if needed. However, I do believe any construction will have to wait because I saw an excessive spread of black mold within the house.”

They all spoke amongst themselves, discussing options. You glanced back to the house and allowed your attention to find its way to the bedroom window. Though fleeting, a masked face peered out at you from within.

Eyeless Jack

In many ways, what happened that night was your boss’ fault.

Having just finished working a double shift that ended at almost 1 in the morning, you were exhausted upon returning home. You walked past the neighbouring apartment with only one thought on your mind – sleep.

It was then that you heard a thump coming from within the house, followed shortly by a muffled scream.

Tired, you had to pause to register what was happening and, by the time your brain caught up, your heart was in full-on panic mode. You slowly reached into your pocket and dialed the emergency number as slowly as you dared, whispering into the phone and being reassured that a police presence would be arriving shortly.

Your neighbour was a young man though, just out of rehab and beginning to make his way through life. The longer you stood and waited for the police, the guiltier you felt.

So you reached into the pot plant and pulled out his spare key. After a short while of building yourself up, you unlocked the door and crept inside.

It was dark with the outside world shrouded via heavy curtains. You could barely make your way through the unfamiliar apartment and you didn’t dare turn on the light. Damn, you were extremely tired.

Part of your brain suggested that you had imagined the whole thing. It was a byproduct of a sleep-addled mind or something. That would be embarrassing to explain to the police and to your neighbour. Would you get charged for breaking and entering or could you blame it on your tiredness?

Your doubts didn’t get much further than that because somebody grabbed you from within the room.

A horrible iron-filled scent attacked your senses as you took in the bedroom. It looked like your neighbour was tied to the bed though he wasn’t moving. Somebody stood behind you, their breathing heavy and their grip strong.

They pushed your wrist closer to your back, preventing you from wriggling free of their grip. A blade, small and yet sharp, pressed against the side of your throat.

“Trying to play the hero, are we?” snarled a voice. “Have you called the cops?”

The blade pressed against your skin and you quickly spat out a yes.

“Probably right before you came in, if not earlier… I’d have enough time to kill you but then you’d be an absolute waste. Nowhere to stash a body around here and they’d comb the entire area if you were missing…”

“I didn’t mean –“

You were shoved forward before you had a chance to react. In the dark, you couldn’t make anything out and you hit the wall unexpectedly. Now, far enough away, you turned and tried to make out the face of your assailant. He melded in with the shadows and you ran your fingers along the wall until you found a light switch.

The lights flickered on and you gasped.

He wore a dark blue mask, a black ooze dripping from the eye sockets and onto his hoodie. There was no reaction to the lights. Not even a blink.

“Don’t you want to beg for your life?” he asked. “The other one pleaded nearly constantly until I shut him up.”

“You killed him…”

“He isn’t dead, just unconscious,” the man scoffed. “I try to avoid killing them, if I’m able to.”

“The police will be here soon,” you warned.

“Oh I know. That’s the only reason that I’m leaving this very minute.” He made his way over to the window, never turning to stop facing you. The bedroom window slipped open without a sound and he began climbing out. “I’d keep my doors locked if I was you. Plenty of unsavory characters live in these parts.”

And just like that, he was gone.

Glitchy Red

Your younger cousin squealed excitedly, holding the game to her chest in joy. “I love it so much!” she said. “I can’t believe I used to think Pokémon was for babies. At first when the music randomly cut out, I did think it was super weird but I’ve gotten used to it now.”

“I don’t think it’s meant to do that,” you chuckled. “But cheap versions, you know?”

It was good to see that your last-minute gift hadn’t gone to waste. You had been worried that the present’s fun would be lost on your video game-hating cousin but she had actually decided to give the game a shot. Now you had somebody in the family to speak to which was extraordinarily exciting.

“What are you meant to say to Red when he asks you whether or not he’s a joke?” she aske unexpectedly. “I know that if you say no, he goes away, and I’ve been too scared to try the other option.”

You frowned. “I don’t actually remember that part of the game.”

“Really? But it happens so often.”

When she realised that you really hadn’t encountered anything like that in the game before, she told you to wait a minute and came back with her game.

“There was one around here,” she said, loading in. “Just give me a second and I’ll find it.”

You stayed much later than you had originally intended to that night. The two of you played through a lot of the game, waiting for the moment when Red would break the fourth wall and demand to know about your opinions on him.

It never came.

The game ran incredibly smoothly. It was quite odd. There weren’t any hiccups along the way nor horror-style glitches. The music didn’t even cut off which was apparently rare accourding to your cousin.

After a while, she sighed and handed it to you. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why it’s not breaking. I’ll go make us some food.”

You continued playing while she was gone, enjoying the memories that came with the game. It was as fun as you remembered until about five minutes after she left. The music just shut off unexpectedly and, no matter what you did, it refused to come back at all. Any other sound effects worked fine though.

“So you’re just programed to break when only one person’s in the room?” you joked.

Perhaps that was a bad choice.

Unexpectedly, a loud static erupted from the console, so ear-aching that it felt like your ears began to bleed. The game took on a horrible red tint and Red appeared on the screen, a dialogue box appearing beneath his blackened form.

AM I A JOKE TO YOU?

Horrified, you immediately shut down the game and threw the cartridge as far away from you as possible. You raced at full speed into the kitchen, nearly knocking several things over along the way.

“You have got to throw that game,” you wheezed.

“What? Why?” she asked.

“There is something really fucked up with that game…” you said. “That thing with Red is absolutely not meant to happen. It felt like he was staring into my soul. You have to throw it out the moment you can. I will buy you another one but do not keep that.”

“Oh, alright,” she said, seemingly confused but nowhere as shaken as you were.

A faint static came from the living room, sending shivers down your spine.

Hobo Heart

Tears flowed down your face despite your best attempts to remain composed. “I’ve known for a while now,” you managed to say.

Your ex-boyfriend seemed shocked, though not entirely upset about your admission. “How long –“

“Since last week,” you said. “Though I’ve heard it’s been going on for considerably longer.”

He shifted his weight and took a deep breath. You recognised this behavior from the past, already hearing the words you knew were coming. The apologies and the false regret, the promises about not doing it again, and then the eventual guilt-tripping. If you heard the latter, you weren’t sure your resolve would hold.

“Goodbye,” you said firmly.

“Wait!”

You ignored the calls, making your way home at a steady place. A few people offered you concerned looks so you rubbed away the tears and took a few deep breaths.

Several months of your life had been completely wasted. You had put so much time and energy into a person who didn’t care one ounce about you.

Just great.

You turned onto your street and made your way to the house across from your own. The woman who lived there was always busy and she only came home to feed her dog before disappearing again. Thankfully, she trusted you to spend time with Bruno.

Bruno came racing over to the gate and jumped up for head scratches. He was a beautiful Afghan Hound with a dark coat and bright eyes.

“At least I know that you’ll always be by my side,” you said, running his fingers through the dog’s fur.

A tear slipped out and you quickly rubbed it away. You dug around in your bag and took out a couple treats, offering him.

A second bark brought your attention to the street.

Standing there, a small white dog with a scruffy coat stared up at you. It looked friendly enough and, after cautiously checking it out, you crouched down and gave it a treat.

“Hello,” you cooed. You gave the pup a few scratches and smiled. “How are you doing, hm? No collar? But you must have an owner because your coat is all groomed and soft. Did you get out or slip your leash?”

You looked around the streets to see if anybody. Nobody jumped out so you gave the dog another treat and brought it into the garden with Bruno to protect it from cars.

The two barked and played with little issue and you messages friends and family about the events of the day.

It was about half an hour later when the air was starting to get chilly. You stood and the small scruffy dog began barking excitedly. Its tail whipped through the air and it jumped up against the fence. A man wearing a white hoodie was standing down the street. You glanced at the dog, scooped it up and made your way to where he was.

“Excuse me,” you said. “I think that I found your dog.”

He turned to look at you and you startled slightly at his rather unusual face paint. A white skull was painted onto his face, similar to something you would see at a college convention.

He glanced down at the happy dog and sighed. “So that’s where he got to.”

“I’m sorry if you were looking for him. I took him off the street to protect him from any cars or anything.”

“It’s fine. He always shows up eventually,” the guy said. “You can just put him down. He’ll follow me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

Then he turned and started walking away. You hurriedly put the dog down and it immediately bounded after him, falling into step directly beside him. They disappeared around a corner and you returned to your own house.

The day had gotten much warmer suddenly.

#creepypasta #scenarios #ben drowned x y/n #bloody painter #clockwork #dr smiley #eyeless jack x reader #hobo heart #dark link

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lholland14 · 4 years ago

Text

Crashing into you (Jill Roord x Reader)

Could you do one w either Jill Roord or Rose Lavelle where it's either a lottttttt of fluff or a lottttttt of angst? Angst obvi ending happily but still. Much appreciated!

Warning: Mentions of death and depression.

C. JoyBell C. once said "Don't be afraid of your fears. They're not there to scare you. They're there to let you know that something is worth it."

Don't be afraid of your fears, easy right? No. For some people perhaps, but not for Jill Jamie Roord.

Her fear of flying prevented her from going places, literally. Her girlfriend Y/n lived in Sweden and the US as well, since she lived so far away, it meant that one of them had to fly. And that person was usually Y/n since she loved flying she usually didn't any complaints.

However, flying was expensive, therefore Y/n couldn't do it all the time resulting in arguments between the two. Y/n thought Jill did nothing to keep their relationship going, but Jill thought Y/n didn't care about Jill and her fear.

~~~

Y/n's prov

Once I again I'm flying over to me girlfriend who lives in the Netherlands. I'm going to lie that this isn't tiring, but I love and miss Jill. Which is why I'm doing this.

As I walked to the terminal I sent a quick message to Jill telling her that I was at the airport and couldn't text her till I was landed in Spain since I was taking a connecting flight. I quickly walked to the departure gate A9, and sat down to wait for me plane to board.

~~~

Jill's prov

After I texted Y/n I sat down with Boyd to watch some TV for a bit until the program was interrupted by breaking news. The West Jet DL680 plane had crashed going to Spain from the US, there were no survivors.

Immediately I remembered Y/n had gone to Spain, sponsored by West Jet, and her plane was DL680.

I ran out of the room and into mine desperately calling Y/n knowing it was hopeless, but still doing it anyway.

She didn't answer.

I called her again.

And again.

Same result.

Some say insanity was doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result.

Well, I was insane.

Again. No answer.

Finally I fell to the floor in desperation.

In a second my entire world came crashing down. Y/n Y/l/n was gone. Gone.

I tried to picture it, a life without you. I couldn't, she was in every memory, every dream everywhere. I dragged myself of the floor, only to fall on Y/n pillow.

I just wish I had replied her text with an "I love you" I wished I could've told you that I loved you the second I met you. That I knew from the moment you smiled at me. That I promised you a lifetime of happiness the day I told you I loved you.

If only I had known that I wouldn't get to keep that promise, I would've held you tighter the last time I saw you

------

They say you don't know what you have until it's gone, but no one ever talks about the aftershock.

They don't talk about the pain and the suffering of losing the greatest thing that ever happened to you, and the feeling that you'll never be whole again. How you lose a piece of yourself, and for the rest of you life feeling lost, destined to forever wander into nothingness.

Because what you lost was your everything.

------

It had been two hours since the plane crash and Jill still hadn't come out of her room, so her father decided to check up on her.

"Jill?" He knocked before entering, and when he did the sight broke his heart.

Jill was laying in your designated place, wearing one of your sweatshirts and holding on to your teddy bear for dear life.

She always teased you that having a teddy bear was childish, and you would always hit her with in annoyance. Right now all she could wish for was that you would come home, she didn't care how. Angry, bleeding, in a bad mood, anything, just as long as you were breathing.

But you didn't, not when she woke up at two o'clock in the morning to a cold bed, not when she fell back asleep to your face. The only time she saw your face was through dreams and photos.

Life moved forwards, but Jill was stuck in the past. Relaying her conversations to you, memories made with you, trying to remember what your touch felt like.

As she cried she barely felt her father enter and sit on the opposite side of the bed.

When Jill felt her dad's comforting hand on her shoulder she only cried harder, wishing it was your hand.

"It's my fault," She choked up "If I hadn't been so stubborn she would have-"

"Shh. It's okay, I'm, I'm sure she-" Her father tried to comfort her before Jill interrupted him.

"I killed her."

------

"I killed her." Echoed through Jill mind, as once again she started to cry. Her father left, trying to process and to try to figure out how to help his precious daughter.

He couldn't, no one could.

As he left Jill phone pinged with a text, it was only 8 am, and the text message was only spam. This made Jill cry harder and plunged her face into Wallace, your teddy bear.

You had a habit of making sure Jill always got attention, and had always texted her good morning.

Not this time, this time there was nothing. Thats how it was going to be for the rest of Jill's life.

She inhaled some of your scent through Wallace, your favourite teddy bear.

Although she always made fun of him, she never knew the story of him.

It was August 1st, the day before your birthday, when everything went down in flames. Your house, and you had just came back from the park caring your soccer ball with you when you saw the smoke from your home.

Although you were only 6 you knew exactly what to do, you called the fire department. As you waited with a firewomen you were told the news, not only had your home burned down, but your family with it.

On you birthday the next day, a fireman named Wally gave you the bear.

He told you that he was given the bear when his father was killed during the Vietnam war.

You named the bear Wallace, not only for the man who gave you the furry companion, but because Wallace always looked sad. Like he was wallowing in sadness. Much like you were that day.

Wallace had been through so many tragedies, with so many stories to share, but no one knew. No one new you were the last of the Y/l/n legacy. No one knew how much Y/n wanted to change that. No one knew how much Y/n wanted to make Jill apart of that legacy.

No one.

And that's how it would stay.

-----

It was at 12 when her brothers started to get worried. Jill Roord was famous for her boundless energy and attention seeking personality, yet here she was lifeless in her bed.

"Hey Jillie." Boyd greeted his sister quietly.

"Go away." Jill replied.

Davy sighed before setting a plate of food on the bedside table.

"Eat Jill. You haven't eaten for a day"

"Just leave" Jill curled her self up and hid under her pillow.

------

When it turned 4 Jill heard a knock and a scream, then more screams. Jill couldn't hear since she was already asleep.

Someone opened the door and laid down next to Jill, she opened her eyes and furrowed her eyebrows when she smelled Y/n scent.

Immediately she turned around to Y/n bright eyes and small smile. Jill screamed and launched herself at the love of her life, resulting in making Y/n fall off the bed.

"How- What-" Jill yelled

Y/n just laughed in response and kissed Jill.

"Sorry love." Y/n smiled at her girlfriend "I should've told you, I took a different flight to get here earlier."

"Then why weren't you here early?" Jill's mom asked

"My flight got delayed." Y/n answered looking up at her with an embarrassed smile.

Jill laughed before kissing Y/n again.

"I'm sorry, Y/n"

"It's okay darling." Y/n smiled at me "I should've called you"

I helped her up and embraced her, laughing when I felt the rest of my family join in too.

"By the way,"Y/n whispered "Good morning gorgeous."

#jill roord #jill roord x reader #woso #woso imagine #woso x reader

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marvels-writings · 4 years ago

Text

World Turned Upside Down

Prequel: Used To

Sequel: My Forever

Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow) Masterlist

Yelena Belova Masterlist

Requested by @stephanieromanoff and (Kind of) @venablemayfairgoode: Hi!! I absolutely LOVED ‘Used To’, and I definitely felt the reader’s pain. Could you write a part 2? Like, maybe while going away from everything, reader finds Yelena and they start a relationship?

Word Count: 7.4k (long but a masterpiece of angst and fluff)

A/N: Two whole weeks of effort, literally, so worth it. I hope you feel the same after reading it.

Edit: The post seems to have deleted itself so I’m reposting it

Golden light filtered through the windows, illuminating the quiet of your apartment; the light fell on your eyes. You opened them slowly and looked around the room. The windows showed the rest of the world slowly waking up, the cars whirring by as other people's lives took their normal turn.

Breathing in slowly, you turned around slowly. The sheets shuffled underneath you, tangling your legs further into them. Turning to face the blonde in front of you, a small smile graced your lips. Fingertips grazed over her cheek as you moved the hair away from her face.

Shuffling closer to your sleeping girlfriend, your smile broadened as you noticed she was still sleeping. It wasn’t frequent that you woke up before Yelena, but you loved every second of it. Your fingers ran across her relaxed features before settling around her cheek.

Your fingertips trailed down her cheekbone onto her shoulder, till your hand was ghosting across her chest. Her heartbeat sounded just underneath your fingers, bringing a sense of comfort to you. Toying with a strand of hair on her neck, her eyes began to flutter open slowly.

Taking in a breath, her eyes opened to see you watching her. Your eyes held open affection, a gaze she found herself seeking comfort in. Hazel eyes scanned your features, she shifted to see you better. Legs tangled with yours over the sheets, the touch bringing you back to her.

“Morning,” Yelena whispered, her voice raspy from waking up. You hummed in response, fingers gently toying with her hair as a comfortable silence blanketed it you.

Soft breaths resounding in your ears as thoughts continued to run through your mind. Thoughts of a certain redhead. She had called you, more than once, more than you had expected. Even after five years, you found it hard not to pick up.

The voicemails remained on your phone. Her voice asking you to come back, telling you that it had been long enough. You could barely stop thinking about it.

Yelena saw that something was bothering you, but she never asked. She knew you would tell her once you thought it over. Her trust made you comfortable enough to think about going back. But the thought of seeing her again made you stop.

“Breakfast?” Yelena asked, a small smile as your fingertips ran across her skin. Taking your fingers away from her hair, you gave her a small nod. Mirroring her smile, you moved to get off the bed.

Untangling your legs from the sheets, you smoothened out your clothes. Though, it hardly made a difference. The clothes were all Yelena’s, not that she minded. Everything she wore was yours, even the oversized sweatpants.

Moving your hair away from your face, you followed the blonde into the kitchen. You knew she didn’t eat much for breakfast, but she insisted on trying to make you something anyway. Taking a seat on the kitchen island, you fidgeted with your hands as your girlfriend started on breakfast.

Bread in the toaster, two cups of coffee brewing, eggs cooking on the stove. Yelena put the eggs on a plate and sighed as she turned around. You were still staring at your hands, refusing to disturb the silence surrounding both of you.

“Something on your mind?” Yelena asked softly, setting your plate in front of you along with your coffee.

You didn’t seem to hear her, snapping out of your daze as you looked up to face her. A smile formed on your face before you noticed she had asked you something.

“Sorry?” You asked, tilting your head to the side.

Yelena chuckled, picking up her toast and setting it down next to her coffee. Taking a seat in front of you, she set one hand down in the middle of the table. Her foot bumped yours gently as she sat down.

“I asked what was going on in this beautiful head of yours.” She asked, her hand gesturing to your head.

You smiled at the compliment, the expression disappearing as you looked down at your food. Your fork prodded the eggs, playing with them. Another silence settled around the room as she waited for you to speak. You set down your fork and let out a sigh, gaining the courage to finally tell her.

“She called me.” You stated, your voice strained and tight as the words left your lips.

The blonde frowned for a moment until she understood who you were referring to. To you, her name would never be mentioned, when you talked about it, it was always ‘she’ and ‘her’. Her hand gently came onto yours, thumb running across your knuckles to show she was listening.

“She wants me to come back,” You continued, breath shaky as you spoke. “she says it’s been long enough.”

Yelena nodded at your words, letting them sink in. A squeeze to your hand brought your eyes up to hers. You looked uncertain of what you wanted to do next. The blonde tilted her head to the side as she resumed running her thumb over the skin of your hand.

“Do you want to go back?” She asked gently.

Her question was what you’d been asking yourself since the first time she called you. Were you ready to see her again? Should you let your absence remain for longer? A part of you wanted to go back to where you used to call home.

But this was home, this huge apartment you’d bought with Yelena.

“I’m not sure,” You admitted, sighing. “do you want to go there?”

The blonde considered it, licking her lips slowly. She seemed to weigh her words carefully, to tell you what she wanted, and if she wanted to see her sister again.

“I would like to see Natalia again,” Yelena confessed, watching your expression falter. “, but only if you’re okay with it.”

“You know I won’t keep you from your family.” You found yourself answering before you could process her words.

Natalia, you’d never called her by her true name, scared it was too close to her. it was the first time you’d heard her name in years. The last time being when you told Yelena about what happened between her and you.

“Then why should she keep you from yours?” Yelena asked, breaking you out of your thoughts.

You nodded, considering her words. A light chuckle left you as you recalled the last words you’d said to her.

‘If the entire world turns upside down’. It was so distant now, the realization, the arguing, the day you left.

“I did tell her I’d come back if the world turned upside down.” You recalled, nostalgia in your words as you turned to look out the window. Breathing in slowly, you took a moment to analyze how different your life was now.

It’s been almost four years you’ve been together, each day you spent with her you seemed to forget your life without her. Funny, it was a coincidence she showed up in your life just a month after you left Natasha. Going on a trip around Europe was an impulse decision, one of your best ones at that.

It was what you’d wanted to do with Natasha, but you ended up by yourself. Until you met Yelena at a bar. The memories of how you began seemed to fade the longer you were with her. But everything in between felt like yesterday.

Yelena had been the one to take things slow. It matched you better than you had expected. It was perfect. You needed to take things slow after everything that happened. The blonde didn’t want to rush into anything.

Sometimes, you thought maybe you were with Yelena only because she reminded you of someone you used to love. It was hardly that, being with Natasha had been something you wanted to do. With Yelena, you were surprised your life hadn’t been this way all along.

A smile crossed your face as you remembered starting to trust her. It was slow, just starting with trusting her with your nightmares, even your fears if you were sure about it. She never pushed you, never held back a secret if she thought you’d want to know.

“In a way, it did.” You commented, making your decision to return.

Yelena watched you turn back to face her, your eyes meeting hers with certainty. Your decision was made, she could change it if she wanted to. But this could be good for you, maybe it would benefit both of you. After all, there were plans you had that needed a family watching you.

“You’re sure about going back?” She asked, just to make sure. You nodded your head, palm turning upwards to take her hand into yours. Skin brushed together as your fingers ran over her skin.

“Maybe not permanently,” You gave a half shrug. “but they are my family.”

Yelena smiled at you, her other hand slowly coming up to cup yours. Her fingers toyed with yours, letting the rings on your fingers clink together softly. Wedding bands had not come in their place, not yet anyway.

“So are you.” You smiled, lacing your fingers with hers. Her smile broadened at your words, eyes glancing down to where her ring met yours. She promised you forever when you weren’t sure you could find one.

————

Your phone buzzed lightly in your hand on the drive to the compound. After messaging the rest of the team about your surprise arrival, they hadn’t stopped messaging you. The first year was the only year they tried to keep in contact with you before giving up on you.

Wanda was the only one who never gave up on it. Every holiday, every birthday, she’d send you a text and try to call you. There were never any voicemails, but the texts were there, year after year. She didn’t know if you’d read them or not but still kept sending them.

Now, there were more messages than you could count.

The only ones you paid attention to were the ones from Tony. He told you that he could get you your room back. The one you had before you moved in with a certain redhead. No one had touched it.

Scrolling through the notifications, you noticed one text from Natasha thanking you. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Stark can give me my old room back,” You said, tucking your phone in your back pocket and turning towards Yelena. She nodded, looking outside the window as the compound started to come into view.

“The one I had before moving in with her.” You continued, to try to occupy the silence in the car. The taxi driver didn’t seem to care much about who he was driving or where. Though, you supposed he expected a large tip since you mentioned Tony Stark.

“Though I don’t know how long we’ll be staying.” You continued, licking your lips dryly. Your fingers reached to fidget with your engagement ring. Twisting the ring around your finger, you clenched your jaw and turned to look out the window.

The sound of the radio the only sound filling the taxi for a few moments. Fingers laced through yours, squeezing to bring your attention to her. Turning to face her, you gave her a half-hearted smile. Yelena gave you a reassuring grin before squeezing your fingers again.

“We’ll stay as long as you want.” She whispered, bringing your hand up to meet it to her lips softly. You smiled at the comforting feeling.

Chuckling, you remembered how Yelena hadn’t been one to show affection at the starting of your relationship. You had always been one to initiate any sort of physical contact. It was only after she told you how she wanted to make sure you were comfortable did it become commonplace.

“I love you.” You whispered, a smile turning up the corners of your lips. The blonde mirrored your smile as she turned around to face you. Hazel eyes radiated warmth as she squeezed your hand again.

“I love you too,” Yelena said.

With her, it didn’t feel like you were living a lie. You didn’t have to ask her if she meant it. To her, telling you that she loved you was a promise on its own.

Smiling to yourself as she squeezed your fingers the same way as you walked towards the entrance of the compound. You were about an hour earlier than you had promised to arrive. Hardly anyone was at the front.

You began to walk inside, taking in the sight of the compound. The smell of coffee wafted through the air, music probably picked by Stark created the atmosphere as you walked inside. It was like you’d never left.

Wanda sat on the couches, talking to Clint. A fond smile twisted the corners of your lips as you made eye contact with the witch. Her eyes seemed to widen almost three times their size as she caught sight of you. Jumping out of her seat, a large grin crossed her face.

“Y/N!” Wanda exclaimed, running forwards to you.

You stumbled backward with the force of her hug, hand slipping from Yelena’s. Laughing, you hugged her back tightly. Her hands pulled you closer to her, scared you might leave if she let go of you. You smiled as her grip tightened, burrowing your face into her neck.

Her hair still smelt of the almond oil she used, along with the coconut shampoo you’d suggested to her many years ago. Some things never really change.

Clint shouted that you’d returned. You paid little to no heed to his screaming, until you heard rapid footsteps approaching you. Wanda didn’t seem to want to let go of you, despite the rest of your family coming to crowd around her.

Tapping her back lightly, she let you slip from her hold. Turning to face the team, your face grew into a huge grin. Bucky stood in the back, giving you a curt nod before moving to sit on one of the couches. Hugging the rest of the team, tears began to form in your eyes. It had been too long you were away from them.

Five years just felt like a number when you said it. But the weight of it settled on your shoulders as you talked to your family. Five was just a number, it truly had been too long.

Jokes and teasing circled in the room, Steve patted you on the shoulder with a light threat never to do this again. A part of you assumed he was joking, but he seemed too serious for you to laugh it off easily. They dragged you over to the couches.

The grin on your face grew as the compliments flew through the room. The way you looked now was far too different from when you left for them not to notice. You’d left looking as a corpse of who they used to know. Now, you were glowing with laughter and jokes as you talked with them.

Moments you knew you’d treasure flew by until they noticed Yelena standing to the side. She tried not to look awkward, her hands tucked into her jacket pockets as she watched you. You reached out a hand for her. She took it and sat down next to you, squeezing herself between you and Tony.

“Who is she?” Wanda asked, tilting her head to the side curiously. Her arm hooked around yours protectively, she rested her head on your shoulder.

“Yelena?” A voice sounded behind you before you could answer.

The voice was familiar, almost too familiar. Turning around your eyes caught onto the reason you’d been avoiding your family. She wasn’t the same person you’d remembered. Her hair was blonde, she still walked with confidence, but that stride broke once she saw you.

Your jaw clenched subtly, you turned back around to Wanda who looked at you in concern. Giving her a tight nod, you glanced towards Yelena. She looked from you towards her sister, uncertain if she should greet her.

Giving her a nod and a small smile, you squeezed her hand to let her know you’d be alright. Without any words exchanged, she went up to greet her.

“Natalia,” Yelena spoke, a smile slowly growing on her face at the sight of her sister. Both of them grinned at each other before hugging tightly.

Yelena was a bit stiff as she hugged her, Natasha’s unspoken mistake still loomed in the air. She hugged her tightly before letting her go. She talked to her in Russian for a bit, you couldn’t understand any of the words.

The rest of the team stared at them curiously, wondering who she was. It wasn’t until they rejoined you on the couches was it they asked. Yelena returned to your side, her hand sliding into yours by habit.

“Who is she?” Steve asked you, a frown ghosting his face. You could only assume he wanted to be protective of you again. Bucky sat at his side quietly, scared of ruining anything again.

“I’m Yelena Belova,” Yelena answered for herself, winking at you when you glanced towards her.

Another smile twisted the corner of your lips at the gesture as you looked around the rest of the team. Natasha’s features flickered for a moment, into hurt, maybe even fear. You couldn’t tell, she put up her mask again.

“How do you know y/n?” Tony asked, leaning forwards and letting his elbows rest on his knees. He looked at her as if he was judging her. You chuckled and patted Yelena’s thigh comfortingly before speaking.

“Guys stop interrogating her.” You chided, watching Tony chuckle before leaning back into the couch.

You weren’t sure why you were protective of Yelena. They were your family. After all, you doubted they were going to chase her away. Even if they could, you weren’t sure they would want to.

Starting a conversation with them, you joked around for a bit before roping Yelena into the conversation. It flowed easily; she added to the stories you told and the comments you made. The stories you told weaved together flawlessly.

Natasha wasn’t paying any attention to the story, her eyes staring at the engagement ring on your finger. Yelena’s hand was intertwined with yours, denying her view to see the ring she was sure was there. She wanted to say something, maybe congratulate you, lie that she was happy for you.

The words were already dry in her mouth as she stared. She was the first to notice the engagement, but the last to comment on it.

“Y/n/n you’re engaged?!” Wanda exclaimed, noticing the ring when you made a gesture with your left hand.

She took your hand in hers, jaw almost dropping over the size of the ring. Gorgeous was hardly the word to describe it. It was a rose gold solitaire adorned with diamonds on the band. The diamonds looked like they were woven into the band itself.

A grin plastered itself onto your face as the rest of the team started to fawn over your ring. Before any of them could ask who you were engaged to, Yelena put her hand next to yours. A ring was placed on her finger as well.

“We are,” Yelena stated, her grin matching yours as you turned to face her.

Neither of you seemed to notice Natasha sitting frozen on the couches. The ring on Yelena’s finger wasn’t just any ring. It was your mother's ring, the one you’d talked about proposing with. The same ring you swore would bring luck to any wedding.

The ring she had been so sure she would wear someday.

“When?” Natasha croaked, clearing her throat after she spoke. The attention turned to her, the team glaring at her. It was as if her speaking could somehow take you away again. Maybe it could if she wasn’t careful.

“Nat,” Wanda whispered angrily, a red wisp forming on Natasha’s elbow. Natasha winced, glaring at the witch before turning back to face you. The question hung in the air for a few seconds, but you didn’t fill the silence.

“A few months ago,” Yelena answered for you. You gave her a grateful smile before turning towards the rest of the team.

Nervousness showed in your eyes as you glanced around the room. Your fiance squeezed your thigh gently, helping build up your courage for the request she knew you wanted to say. Biting your lip tightly, you took in a breath.

“We um,” You glanced at Yelena who gave you a soft smile you sought comfort in. “we wanted you to come to our wedding.”

A moment of quiet passed over your words before happiness and laughter quickly filled the room. The rings continued to be fawned over as new wedding plans were made. Your wedding plans, even your savings for them hardly seemed to matter as Tony announced he would be paying for it. You knew you couldn’t talk him out of it, despite how you might try to.

The team talked about the kind of wedding you should have, a spring wedding, a grand ball, anything. Plans and ideas flew around the room, the only person never offering any being Natasha. She sat silently on the couch, staring at the ground.

Your eyes glanced towards her before flitting back to Yelena, smiling brightly at your fiance. The same smile you used to wear around her, the one she thought she could never get enough of. The same lovesick grin the rest of the team made fun of you for. It was for someone who wasn’t her.

Natasha got up quietly, offering Yelena a tight smile of congratulations before padding out of the room. Her footsteps hardly made any sound as she made the effort to leave your life the way it is.

The conversation flowed on behind her, your laughter floating through the room. The wedding date wasn’t fixed yet, you weren’t sure when you should have it. Better sooner than later, you never knew how long something might last.

This, your family, you hoped this would last forever.

————

The TV played on in the background as you talked to Wanda about wedding plans. She had long since agreed to become your maid of honor. The witch was adamant about making this wedding perfect, you smiled as you talked to her about the flowers for the wedding.

Yelena was still unsure about who should be her best man/woman. Natasha was her first choice for it, but she wasn’t sure if you were comfortable with it. You’d told her you’d be alright with it, still, she waited in case.

The popcorn seemed to be taking a little longer than it should have. You’d offered to help her with it, but the blonde declined your offer, adamant she could do it on her own. You continued talking to Wanda about your wedding plans, unsure what kind of flowers you should have.

Wanda began saying that roses were a better idea, you weren’t paying much attention as you saw Natasha enter the room. Your eyes flitted over to her, your expression faltering for an instant. Bringing your mask back up, you nodded to Wanda to show you were listening. She didn’t buy it, glancing behind her. Noticing Natasha, she turned back to you, continuing her conversation.

“Hey, y/n…” Natasha trailed off, fidgeting with her fingers as she stood behind the couch. You turned to face her, giving her a tight nod. Wanda stopped talking, turning around to face the assassin.

“Hello.” You greeted, turning back to the movie. Even you weren’t willing to pretend everything was okay with her. The witch glanced between both of you before locking her gaze onto Natasha.

“Can I talk to you?” She asked, her weight shuffling on her feet. She glanced from you to Wanda, the witch glared at her angrily. Ignoring her gaze, she turned back to face you. You weren’t looking at her, your eyes looking at Yelena.

Your fiance gave you a supportive nod, the popcorn still in her hands. The look of concern on her face told you she would be here for you if things went south. You nodded at her, smiling gratefully then turning towards Natasha.

Your smile dissipated the instant you looked at her, your eyes which were full of adoration only moments ago were empty, too empty.

“Alright.” You nodded.

Natasha smiled at you, hoping you would return it. Your face remained blank, prompting her to lead you to somewhere more private. The assassin sighed softly, hoping you wouldn’t hear her disappointment but wanting you to.

She walked towards her room, the same room you called home before leaving. Looking inside, you saw that not much had changed. It seemed all too familiar. Everything from the decorations, to the way the bed was made, even some of the pictures were your own.

Bile rose to your throat when you looked at a picture of the two of you on your anniversary. A glass of champagne was in your hand, your lips on her cheek, the corner of your mouth quirked into a grin. A grin plastered on Natasha’s face, her arm wrapped around your waist.

You picked up the frame from her bedside, aware of Natasha’s eyes watching your movements. A sigh left your lips as you looked at it.

The moment frozen in time. You let yourself fall back into time, experiencing that night over again. How ecstatic you were about spending 3 years with Natasha, three whole years. The nervousness about the party. The emotions were still frozen in the picture, you wished you could rid yourself of them.

“What do you need to talk about?” You croaked, swallowing as you set down the picture frame. Standing awkwardly on the edge of the bed, you fidgeted with your fingers as Natasha took a seat on the bed.

“Why did you come back?” She asked, her voice betraying no emotion. You swallowed, eyes flitting towards the ground instead.

“You and I both know it’s not just because I asked you to.” She continued, eyes watching you carefully. You sighed and looked up at her, shuffling back slightly. Natasha patted the spot on the bed for you to sit, you stepped forwards, then stopped.

It was the same bed she had broken you in. The same bed you’d sworn to be by each other’s side forever. The broken promises still lingered in the air like smoke. Breathing it in, you clenched your jaw tightly. Shaking your head, you shuffled backward and leaned against the wall.

Why did you come back?

It wasn’t because she asked you to. You weren’t sure it was because you wanted your family at your wedding. maybe it was to see her again, to prove how much better you were without her.

To show her what she lost.

“Remember what I told you then?” You asked, tilting your head to the side as you looked up at her. The words were a bit hazy in your mind, somewhat like a nightmare you had a long time ago.

“Will I, will I ever see you again?” Natasha asked timidly, hope underlining her tone. She couldn’t stop you from leaving her with her mistakes. All she could do was hope for your return. Upon seeing your expression, that seemed unlikely.

“If the entire world turns upside down, you might.” You said a halfhearted joke as you turned towards the door.

Leaving your things behind, leaving your entire family behind. There wasn’t anything here for you anymore.

“I don’t think I can forget,” Natasha murmured, the words as clear as day in her mind. The day you’d left, she couldn’t forget it. Your broken smile when walked out of her life haunted her, despite the pictures of your happiness she surrounded herself with.

“I told you that you might see me again if the world turns upside down.” You repeated, voice shaking. You cleared your throat, chuckling lightly as you leaned back against the wall. Your eyes roamed the room, taking in every detail before meeting Natasha’s eyes.

“It kind of did, didn’t it?” You chuckled, tilting your head.

Your life didn’t take the turn you’d expected. The plan was to marry Natasha, hopefully, grow old with her. Maybe get a house by the beach and have twins. That was what the plan had always been. It was still there, the house by the beach, the playground for your kids.

Natasha was the only change.

“I found everything I wanted in someone you consider your family.” You continued, hands moving to rest behind your back.

A smile crossed your face as you thought of Yelena. The way her lips quirked up into a smile, even at your bad jokes, the comfort of how her skin felt against yours, the sound of her voice when she’d just woken up.

She was all yours, you had the pride of calling her your fiance.

“You found something in someone I considered my brother.” You muttered, your thoughts turning towards Bucky.

Hurt flashed across your features before you masked it quickly, turning to look up at her. The blonde fidgeted at your words, nibbling her lip and looking away from you.

“Bucky and I,” Natasha began, licking her lips. “we aren’t, we aren’t together.”

Your eyebrows raised, you’d thought Bucky was who she’d be running to for comfort after you. It had only made sense that she should leave you for another relationship. But just for sex, that was lower than even you thought she could stoop.

“That’s a surprise.” You mused, turning to look away from her and the bed.

An uncomfortable silence shrouded the room, suffocating you. You didn’t know how to break it. Small talk was the last thing on your mind. Thinking you should leave, you shifted your weight and put one foot forwards before the blonde spoke.

“I’m surprised if you remember my name,” Natasha whispered, almost too quiet for you to hear. A frown etched into her face as tears began to line her eyes.

“What?” You asked, hoping you heard her wrong. Her voice was rarely quiet, only taking a lower stance when she was scared. It hurt a little she was scared, or even upset because of you.

“The way you look at me,” She continued, knowing you heard her. “it’s like you don’t even remember me.”

You hesitated, letting her words take their place. Your mask dropped, eyes looking down at the ground as a sad smile twisted your lips. Of course, she would bring this up, you had never looked at her this way like she never meant anything to you.

“I used to look at you like you were my world.” You muttered, shaking your head lightly. You wished you were lying. You wished you hadn’t made her your world just to let her take it away from you.

“It’s almost ironic you took it away from me.” You whispered, looking up to face her. The mask you made just for her began to shatter. A tear slipped down your face, sliding across your face until it dropped onto the floor.

“I never meant to,” Natasha whispered, voice shaking as she saw you cry because of her, again. Her hand reached out towards your face, stopping she realized it wasn’t her place. Her words made you snap, your head whipping up to face her.

“It doesn’t matter what you meant to do Na-” You stopped yourself before you could say her name.

You didn’t know why you couldn’t say her name. You’d called her everything from Tasha to Nattie, you didn’t know why it was so hard for you. It was hardly a surprise when you couldn’t even think of her without hurting.

“Say it,” Natasha demanded, head snapping up to yours. Tears grew in her waterline, her voice breaking as she moved forwards. You swallowed thickly, pushing yourself further into the wall.

“Say my name, please.” She begged, looking up at you pleadingly. A tear slipped out of her eye, she retreated as her hands moved to wipe it away hastily.

You took in a shaky breath, wanting nothing more than to leave things the way they were. Closure was a gift you never got. The wounds were still torn open no matter how much you tried to stitch them shut. Saying her name would tear you apart, all over again.

“Does it still hurt you to think about me?” Natasha asked when you stayed silent. Her eyes looked at you imploringly, almost begging you for an answer.

How could it not hurt?

Thinking about her always brought back memories, always the good memories. The best of what you were, never the worst. The memories showed you everything you were, how she brought out the best part of you.

It also showed you what she took away.

“Yes.” You answered, just when Natasha was beginning to think you might stay silent.

Natasha flinched back as if you’d physically hurt her. Her mask was in pieces, she didn’t care about the emotions she was showing. Every attempt she made to try to calm herself, to stop feeling, it never worked.

“Do you have any idea what you did to me?” You asked, incredulous she had even asked you if it still hurt. The blonde didn’t respond, staying silent in fear she might hurt you more.

“You took away everything I gave you, and then more.” You said, breath leaving you in harsh pants. your hand ran through your hair as you began pacing in the room. Natasha’s eyes never left you, even as her vision grew blurry with tears.

“The peace I felt around you, the home you’d made for me,” You shouted, tears slipping down your face. “all of it.”

You wiped your face hastily with your hands, watching them come away wet with tears and mascara. All your pain was out in the open for her to see. The pain was caused by her mistakes. You cowered into yourself, leaning back against the closet.

Trying desperately to slow your breathing, you rested your head on the door. Staring up at the ceiling, you let the lights blind you for a treasured few seconds. Blinking rapidly, you looked back at Natasha. She watched you with emerald eyes you’d let yourself get lost in too many times.

“It still hurts when I think of you.” You whispered, looking her in the eyes.

Natasha’s jaw clenched, blinking to try to stop her tears. She turned around to look at the rest of the room. The pictures of you still decorated the walls the way they used to when you were still here. The decorations you’d bought for the room, even some of your clothes were in her closet.

Never could she let you go.

“I never stopped thinking of you.” She admitted, turning slowly to look back at you. It was still somewhat like a dream, to have you here with her. A dream she was too scared to wake up from to let you go.

“You should.” You said, sighing after. You backed up slightly, wiping away the remaining tears on your face.

Mascara stained your hands and your sleeves. You didn’t know what Natasha wanted from you, you could only assume she wanted you back in her life, even after you’d been adamant about keeping away.

“I’m not giving you my heart again,” You stated, glancing away from her. “it doesn’t matter what you promise me.”

Some truth remained in your words. Even if she promised you the world, or for her to be better, you wouldn’t give up your world for her again. Your heart was once something you gave away carelessly to her. You didn’t want to repeat your mistake.

“I don’t want that from you,” Natasha said, catching your attention. Your gaze flitted back to her as a confused frown ghosted your features. The frown etched itself onto your face as she let the silence slowly drag on.

“What do you want from me?” You asked, watching her wince back slightly. She straightened her stance as if she was preparing herself for something. Silence dragged on as she prepared herself for pain before finally speaking.

“I want you to forgive me.”

Your mouth opened to yell at her, to scream that what she did was near unforgivable. For her to even think that you could forgive her after everything. You’d told her what she had taken away from you, and she still thought she could be forgiven.

“I’m sorry, y/n,” Natasha stated before you could speak. Her hand lifted in a plead for you to hear her out.

Your mouth closed but opened again as you considered keeping your silence. The blonde didn’t care for your silence, wanting you to hear the apology she had ran over thousands of times in her head.

“Please, I never meant to hurt you.” She repeated, knowing it wasn’t the apology you wanted to hear.

She swore she could not have prepared more for this moment. For having you in front of her so she could apologize to you. Even practicing in the mirror, over and over again didn’t help her. Seeing you in front of her, breaking all over again because she couldn’t be who you wanted her to.

It wasn’t something she had prepared for.

“Maybe it was unfair for me to fall in love with you in the first place when I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep you. I’m sorry.” She apologized, guiltily shifting her feet under her. Her legs dangled over the edge of the bed, she looked at them thoughtfully.

It wasn’t fair for her to try to be in a relationship when she couldn’t keep one. Maybe with you, she thought it would be different. But even you couldn’t change the mistakes she would make. Even at the start of your relationship, she knew she would hurt you somehow. You assured her that she couldn’t.

In the end, her mistakes would always come to haunt her.

“Falling in love wasn’t your mistake,” You spoke, bringing her attention up to you. “it was unfair of you to try to treasure something you knew you couldn’t keep.”

It was unfair of her, so unfair to lead you on for years, give you everything you knew you wanted. To make plans for the future, you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with her, so clearly. Then to take it all away again, just because she knew she couldn’t keep you.

“I’m sorry,” Natasha repeated, trying to make you stay. You could see her hand reach out for you before stopping herself.

A sigh left your lips as you moved down to kneel in front of her. Your fingertips hovered over hers before moving away. You whispered to try to get her attention, it didn’t work. Your hands slid into hers, squeezing gently.

She opened her eyes in surprise, looking at your hands in hers, the engagement ring adorning your finger. Her hands gripped yours tightly as if you were a lifeline.

Tears began to fall on your hands. You wanted to try to comfort her more, but this was all you could do. It was almost as if you were leaving her all over again, promising to say out of her life.

“Natasha,” You whispered, smiling when she looked up at you. Her eyes were so soft, so vulnerable in this moment.

Your thumbs slid over the skin of her hand, you looked at her carefully. She was still the woman you’d fallen head over heels for. But Natasha couldn’t be the person you spent the rest of your life with.

“Our time is over.” You said softly, wincing when she turned away from you. More tears dropped onto your palms. Her hands held onto yours tightly, you slipped one out of her grip to turn her face towards yours.

“We had our time together,” You continued, smiling at the fond memories of her. “and yeah it was beautiful.”

This is what you’d been missing all of these years.

Letting go.

It wasn’t as easy as moving to the other side of the world. It was looking her in the eye and saying that your time was over. It was letting both of you heal from the mistakes.

“I just wish we could have lasted longer,” Natasha whispered, clinging onto your hands tightly. She’d told you before that you were the best thing that ever happened to her. You were, it was foolish of her to cut your time so short.

“Maybe, but we weren’t beautiful because we lasted.” You said, tugging her attention back up to you.

A light frown ghosted her face at your words. Your eyes gazed over her features, committing them to memory. The emerald eyes, soft cheekbones, the features you had grown to love.

“It was beautiful because it happened.” You whispered, your thumb tracing over her cheekbone gently.

A smile graced your lips, a tear falling from your eye onto your hands. A sigh left your lips as you moved up, leaning down you closed your eyes. Your lips met her forehead gently, her hands tugged you closer. You smiled, as she let go of you, letting you pull away.

A knock sounded on the door, you turned to face it, knowing it was Yelena.

“Come in.” You said, slowly wiping the tears away from your eyes. Yelena stepped into the room, taking in the scene in front of her. She glanced towards her sister wiping her face on her sleeves, giving her a sympathetic smile before turning towards you.

“Hey,” Yelena greeted, moving to slide her hand into yours. You smiled as her shoulder bumped against yours. “everything alright?”

“Yeah just,” You glanced towards Natasha. The blonde looked up at the two of you, no longer looking hurt. Instead, she looked at you with a gentle smile, finding herself finally letting go of you.

“Just catching up.” You answered, smiling up at Yelena.

She looked from you to Natasha, nodding at her sister. She would want to talk to her later, you were sure of it, but now wasn’t the time. Nodding towards the door, silently asking if you wanted to leave. You nodded letting her walk you out.

“wait.” You said, stopping in your tracks. A confused look showed on her face as your hand slipped out of hers, heading back to Natasha. Your fiance followed you back, leaning against the doorframe.

“I, I want you to come to our wedding.” You stuttered, shifting your weight. Wringing your hands together, you looked to face her. She looked unsure, her eyes glancing from your ring to her sister.

“Are you sure you want me there?” She asked, tilting her head to the side curiously. You nodded, looking back at Yelena. The blonde smiled at you, knowing it was hard for you to do this. You sought comfort in her smile, nodding again at Natasha.

“Lena considers you as her family,” You said, shrugging easily. “it’s only fair.”

Lena, the nickname was so familiar coming from you. Natasha raised an eyebrow, seeing as you didn’t answer her question. You chuckled softly at the action. She could always tell you had a different answer than what you said.

“I want you there,” You stated, watching her features light up into a smile. She nodded, looking from you to your fiance. Yelena looked certain she wanted Natasha to be there. She smiled and nodded.

“I’ll be there,” Natasha said.

You smiled in relief, waving at her as you walked out of the room. Yelena’s arm slid around your waist, her fingers reaching towards the ring you wore. Her fingers twisted them around your finger thoughtfully.

She didn’t know what you’d talked about with Natasha. But you were in a lighter mood, easily walking around the compound, telling more stories. You were more at ease, the closure bringing you in a different state of mind.

Years ago, you wouldn’t have even considered coming back here. The memories near painful for you. Now, the memories seemed like a story you told a long time ago. You thought the story had ended when you left.

But now, you’d finally let go.

In a way, it was a good thing the world turned upside down.

A/N: Please for the sake of my sanity reblog and comment and tell me what you think!!

Tag List: @capcarolsdanver, @versdan, @lesbian-girls-wayhaught, @lovebotlarson, @dhengkt, @hstoria, @natasha-danvers, @veryfunnyal, @xxxtwilightaxelxxx , @ophelias-heart , @never-didbefore , @justarandomhumanhere, @the-most-unicorn-of-them-all , @thatssocamryn , @lesbian-x-blackwidow , @marvelbbyx , @wlw-imaginesss , @hcartbyheart , @summergeezburr , @imnotasuperhero , @a-stressedstudent , @aaron-despair , @rooskaya-yelena , @dynnealberto , @thewitchandtheassassin , @wannabe-fic-reader , @izalesbean, @higherfurther-romanova , @natalia-quinzel , @stephanieromanoff , @fayhar , @darkangelxoxo-blog let me know if you’d like to be in any of my tag lists!

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gucciwins · 4 years ago

Text

it’s your birthday?

As luck would have it you once again find yourself in a breakout room with Harry

Word count: 3296

A/N: Hello friends, it’s a new semester and it felt only right to continue breakout room, a story that was well loved by you. The inspiration once again came to me during class and also because it’s Harry’s birthday. Thank you to the lovely @soullikestyles for reading this over. Here it is, enjoy!!!

I hope you love this, it is a continuation from Breakout Room

Please shoot me a message of what you thought!!!!

i love you, take care xx

_____

It's the start of a new semester. It's safe to say you did not make any friends last semester due to this ongoing pandemic, but what you did manage to get was a 3.9 G.P.A for the Fall semester. It was probably because you did not leave your apartment, and when you did, it was to go grocery shopping with your roommate, who would be dead without you because, as she liked to put it, you're the chef, and she's the taster.

Well, you maybe did make one friend.

Harry Styles.

He was the person to talk to you during a zoom breakout room in your women's gender studies course.

Sure, you were never in the same room again, but you might or might not have pinned his face during one of the professor's long ramblings that is no longer related to the course.

He was pretty to look at; you would never deny that.

No, with the floppy curls that he almost always seemed to run his hand through, then stopping when one of his rings got caught in a knotted ringlet. His camera would instantly turn off, and in thirty seconds, he was back as if nothing had happened. The glasses framed his face just right, making his eyes look soft and inviting. Also made his dimples stand out. He almost always wore a different colored cardigan. Your favorite from the semester was when he wore a multicolored cardigan. That looks like it was knitted; there was a hole by his heart. Honestly, you were hoping he had, would have made him even more endearing.

Also, might one day ask him to make you one, or he could even teach you. You're a fast learner and have patience.

He's got a great choice in clothing from what you was able to observe in such a short time—also a lovely personality.

After his initial email, you decided to answer, thus creating a chain of messages back and forth. He was honestly funny, and that was just on paper. He had asked for her number and said no, and he respected that. It doesn't mean they never helped each other in the class; Harry asking for more help than Y/N. She sent him over her notes and explained the readings he found harder to grasp.

As soon as finals week hit, she received her last email from him with the subject as Goodbye. It took you by surprise, and you erased the draft you had waiting for him that had your phone number wanting to keep talking to him. Still, clearly, he thought of them as just classmates for the semester, so without even opening his last email, you trashed it.

You felt guilty about it, so you then transferred it to your archives, where it sits with other unwanted emails.

_____

The holidays are over, and since you could not make the trip home, you celebrated with Amy, your roommate. You both help each other buy your family's presents, looking for the best discounts and adding extra items to get the free shipping. Together, well, mostly you as she handed you pieces of tape you wrapped present after present in brown wrapping paper. It was harder to tear and more comfortable to decorate in any way you wanted. On each box, it had everyone's name written in beautiful handwriting, courtesy of you. Then you would add snowflakes or stripes to make it stand out.

It was a success from their looks when each gift was open through the zoom call.

The month break flew by, and the next thing you knew, it was time to be back at your desk for hours of learning. It was fun until it wasn't sure there was a lot to look forward to, but you would miss sleeping all day and eating snacks in bed with no fear of forgetting to submit an assignment.

This semester you had four major courses. Psychology of Personality and Psychology of Aging were the two courses you were most looking forward to. You decided on taking the women's gender studies class called Politics of Sexuality. You had gotten the recommendation from the department's head to take it and did so without a second thought. Yes, fifteen units was a lot, but you were close to graduating, and you knew you could handle it.

The first week flew by because it was merely going over the syllabus. You had your camera on, but you did not bother to look at your other classmates. Sasha, a fellow person in your major, would be your study partner as she had been all semester. Sasha might not always be in the class section, but she did take the same professors and courses. It makes studying and taking notes easier. You know you won't always have Sasha, but having a study partner has ever made you do better.

February 1st. The start of the second week of the semester.

You woke up at seven, got the tea that Amy had ready for you, and were sitting at your desk by eight. Your professor droned on about the first chapter of the book. You felt confident knowing you understood the significant points.

It's 11:30, and your second course of the day is going to start. You were not looking forward to the class simply because Dr. Rossi had warned you he would be putting you into breakout rooms of two. That person would be your partner for the semester. You had a project due at the end of the semester, and he wanted you to be acquainted with someone rather than having a person working alone.

You sat there, Baby Yoda ceramic mug in hand, as you waited for your breakout room to load and to see who you were destined to work with for the next fourteen weeks.

There was a knock on your door that distracted you from seeing the video of someone else load.

"Sorry, I know you're in class, but I was wondering when lunch was to see how big of a snack I should have." Amy shoots you a small smile.

"No worries, Ames, I'm out at 12:45 and will need half an hour to cook, so roughly 1:30. Is that okay?" You tell her feeling a little awful, making her wait.

"It's perfect. Have a good class." Amy shuts the door.

As you hear the click, you turn back to your computer, and they're staring at you in a lavender cardigan with a white shirt underneath is the one and only Harry Styles.

His curls are shorter, meaning he recently got a haircut, and they are just growing back. You wished he had let it grow out, wanting to see how much more ruly they would have gotten.

You feel your face heat up, remembering you did not do your hair, instead of letting it sit messily in a low ponytail, small hair framing your hair. You were sure the black sweatshirt you had one had a hummus stain but too afraid to look down to check. You weren't even aware he was in this class; it shows you should be paying attention more to your classmates.

He shoots you a small smile, and you grimace, trying to force one out, but you're still a bit shocked.

You see his microphone go white, meaning he was about to speak. You leaned forward in anticipation, a bit desperate to hear his smooth accent through your computer speakers.

"Hello, it's been a while." Harry raises his glasses to hold back his hair.

You reach forward and unmute yourself. "Hello, Harry. It has been a while. It's a new year and everything." You joke.

He chuckles, scratching his chin. You aren't sure what to do; it was never this awkward the first time you chatted.

"Guess we're partners, huh."

"Apparently." You sigh, a bit loud, forgetting he can hear you.

"Ouch, don't need to sound too excited." He tells you not at all hiding his frown.

"No, I didn't." You stop not knowing how to go back from that. "Sorry, that was rude of me."

He nods, not saying anything more, and you take it as a sign to continue.

"I-i, well, after our last class ended, I figured that was that. You said goodbye in the last email, so I figured that was the end of our friendship, if you can even call it that."

"I thought my email would give the opposite impression, but not everything can translate as smoothly when talking." He tells you, which causes you to pause.

"Your email literally said goodbye," You blurt out before you can stop yourself.

He hides his smile, "My subject said goodbye, the content said quite the opposite. You did read it, right?"

You duck your head, not allowing yourself to meet his eye even through a computer screen, too embarrassed to be caught. "Well, no, I didn't. Hurt my feelings, just seeing the goodbye." You look up and see his eyes soften, giving you just a bit more courage to continue. "I've always struggled to make friends, I have like three good friends, and it's hard putting myself out there, and I didn't actually if you considered me a friend or not."

"Y/N" He breathes out your name.

You stop him before he can continue. "Do you mind if I read it now?"

Harry shakes his head.

You restore down the zoom and open up your Gmail on the split-screen. You find it reasonably quickly; you look up at him to see him patiently sitting back chipping at his nails. They are a pastel yellow; it makes you smile, knowing just yesterday you went from that color to a deep red.

[email protected]

Subject: Goodbye

Y/N,

It's been enjoyable emailing back and forth. I honestly would not have passed this class without you. I think you are brilliant and if I had you in every course, I would finish with A's in them all. So, thank you for having the patience to teach me.

Also, thank you for being my friend. I know we mostly talked about school work. Still, you did help me decide on what coat to buy for my sister, so I know that makes us friends, and I did help you get that switch for your little brother. (That was like trying to buy floor tickets for Lady Gaga.)

On another note, after emailing for twelve weeks, I was wondering if I could have your number. I would like the chance to give you a call and formally ask you on a date. I know we're in the middle of a pandemic, and dating is hard, but we can do zoom dates before we try in person.

I understand if it's a no, but I am really grateful to have met you.

Your friend (although I do want to try to be more)

Harry Styles

City Pointe Apt 32 (in case you want to send a care package, I would gladly return the favor)

"Oh, Harry," You inhale, "I'm so sorry."

"No worries." He shrugs.

You pause, thinking your next words. "I live in Rose Villa." Those were not the words you wanted to say, but you don't take it back.

"That's across the street from my building." He gasps. "We could have run into each other."

You nod. "Small world."

Harry brings his focus back to something you skipped over. "I realize you didn't mention the part of asking you on a date."

"Oh, I figured you over that now. It's been well over a month since I ignored your email." You grimace, starting to feel awful about it all over again.

"I guess it was email abandonment this time." He jokes.

You laugh, and it gets Harry laughing as well. He was always good at that, making you laugh and not be so serious even if he didn't know it.

"Y/N," Harry's voice was strong, no signs of laughter in his trace. You lock eyes as best you can through a computer screen. "I would still very much like to take you on a date."

A date with Harry.

You want to say yes, but it's like you're frozen.

"Can I say something else before you give me an answer?" You nod, waiting for him to go on. "Sarah Jones, do you know her?"

Sarah Jones, you rack your brain trying to place her.

The theater composer. She's written original tracks for the theatre department for the original plays they've done and remakes. She's won countless awards.

Sarah even won the talent show. Played a killer drum solo that no one else could ever think of topping.

If you're honest, she's the definition of your girl crush.

"We follow each other on social media. We met at a paint night; she was really easy to talk to." You tell him, remembering how sweet she was to you when she saw you walk in, and just as you were about to walk out, she introduced herself to you, asking to sit with you.

He nods. "Sarah is my roommate's girlfriend. Mitch and Sarah practically live together; he's so in love with her it truly is the sweetest thing. Back to the point, she overheard me talking about you to Mitch and spoke how she knew you. Then I proceeded to stalk your Instagram on her account. I hope that's not weird."

You laugh, and it causes Harry to calm down, "Not weird at all. I would have done the same thing, but as you can see, I rarely upload anything."

"Well, the things you do have, I think, are wonderful." He rambles on explaining how your beach photo on a bike with a pretty pink basket was one of his favorites and how cute you look wearing sweaters.

As endearing as Harry was being, you decided to put him out of his misery. "Harry," you interrupt.

"Yes."

"I'd love to go on a date with you."

"You would?" He gasps in surprise.

"Yes."

"That's fantastic. I think this is the best birthday gift I could have received." He tells you, but you're stuck on the last thing he said.

"It's your birthday?"

Harry smiles sheepishly. "Yes."

"Happy Birthday, Harry." You tell him softly, a big smile on your face.

A blush overtakes his face; you can tell he wishes to cover up his face with hands but holds back from doing so. "Thank you."

"Do you have any plans?"

"No, well. Mitch and Sarah are coming over for lunch in a bit. Then they are off to study at Sarah's for the week. Her roommates are gone for the week."

You frown, not liking that he'll spend the rest of his birthday alone.

"Would you-never mind" You stop yourself from being able to invite yourself over to celebrate with him?

"Hey, it's okay. Whatever you wanted to say, I wouldn't judge you, love." His voice was soft and reassuring.

"Well, I'd love to come over and hang out with you if that's okay. I can make us dinner, I make delicious enchiladas. Also, my carrot cake is to die for."

Harry is surprised at her offer but nods his head quickly. "That sounds wonderful, but you don't have to cook for me. We can order takeout."

She shakes her head. "Consider it my gift to you."

"Well, okay. Is six okay for you?" He bites his lip, not believing this is happening.

"Perfect."

You sit there smiling at each other.

When a message pops up overhead, "You have five minutes left before we join back as a group."

Your eyes go wide, having forgotten you were in class. "We didn't even discuss the assignment."

Harry shakes his head in laughter, a smile spreads over your face. He has an adorable laugh that just rings through your ears, and you can't wait to hear it in person.

"We've got time, now that it seems we'll be getting to know each other better."

You relax, settling a bit, you have weeks before the assignment is due.

"I'll email you my number, love. Easier to communicate for later."

"Sounds great." You respond.

_____

It's five-fifty, and you're standing outside his door. You're more than a little nervous. You're wearing high waisted jeans paired with a black off the shoulder top with floral embroidered sleeves. You decided against a sweater knowing the short walk would keep you warm enough. Your mask is red, with three small hearts stitched on the lower right side. Perfect for February.

You shift the items in your hand to the right and lift your hand up to knock. After three gentle knocks, you hear footsteps and take a step back.

"Hi," Harry breathes out, a big smile on his face.

"Hello, Harry, happy birthday."

"Thank you." He smiles wide, blessing you with his dimples. Definitely look better in person. "Please come in." He grabs some of the items from your hand and allows you to step in before locking the door behind you.

"Your mask is lovely. Did you make it?"

"I did!" You share excitedly. "My roommate, Amy, and I spent lots of our free time making a different kind. We took old shirts we no longer wanted and used for the material. It was a lot of trial and error, but we're pretty solid at it now. My embroidery could use some work, but I think it's lovely.

"It really is. Would you make me one?" He asks, staring at you as you pocket your mask. No longer needing it in his home.

"Yes, I'll send you pictures of the fabric I have, or you could come over, and I can teach you as well." You tell him, excited at the prospect.

"Sounds like a wonderful date." You nod, feeling your body get warm at the word date because today could also classify as a date.

Harry knocks you out of your head when calling your name. "Turned the oven on like you requested." He informs you.

"Thank you, my mom showed me how to make them, but I learned about the melted cheese on my own. She wasn't a big fan of it, but everyone else I know loves it, so I hope you will as well."

Harry grabs your hand and gives it a squeeze. "I'm sure it's wonderful." He bumps your shoulder gently. "Go finish up; I'll set the table."

He pushes you into the kitchen, and you go in and place your stuff. Harry is whistling, settling down on the table two glasses and two forks when you turn back around towards him.

Harry turns around just in time for you to wrap your hands around his waist. You fit perfectly in his arms, taking in his musky scent. "Happy birthday, Harry." You whisper against his chest.

He squeezes you tighter, leaning his head on top of yours. "Thank you, love."

He pulls back, holding you by your shoulders. A big smile on his face, you reciprocate it feeling his happiness warm your heart.

"Run along now; I'm starving." He jokes.

You walk backward, creating distance; as his left-hand trails down your right hand slowly until he's touching your fingertips, do you pull away. Although you, more than anything, wanted to hold his hand. You want to feel the weight of it in yours; you want to know if his hands are soft or calloused. How cool his rings will feel against your palm. All in due time.

"I'm happy to be here."

"Me too, love. Me too."

It's safe to say you were more than luckily going to have yourself a valentine for the first time in a long time.

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