#literally some of the best news of my life

[lokis-army-77]

Hi 👋

I had a smut idea about a modern version of Rockstar!Eddie. Corroded Coffin is just taking off so of course Eddie interacts with fans through social media, answering dms and liking fanart. One day Eddie gets a dm from Virgin!Reader, asking him if he can take her virginity. At first Eddie is very unsure about it until he learns more about Reader and agrees. How does that sound?

Xx

Drunken Texts

Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Virgin!fem reader

Word Count: 5.6k

You drunkenly DM the Eddie Munson asking him to be your first.

Warning: 18+ I will block you if you are under 18 or have no age in your blog. oral (f & m receiving), p in v, fingering, virginity taking.

Thank you to my beta readers @munson-blurbs, @xxladymjxx, and @emma-munson

AN: I am so sorry this took so long! I started my masters program and have kinda been in a slump lately, but I am so happy that I finished this for you @randomreader1999 I was determined bc you have read and liked literally everything I have ever posted and I love you!

Masterlist

Eddie scrolled through his DMs in the dark of the tour bus. He loved to answer fans, even if his manager told him it wasn’t a good idea. The rockstar life was brand new to him and he couldn’t help wanting to have a relationship with his fans. He knew he would have loved for his idol to message him back when he was once a nobody, so he was only doing what he thought would be great fan service.

It wasn't until he clicked on your message that his heart skipped a beat. 

Hiii Eddie 

I know this iis a weird thing to ask but… woul dyou take my virginity???

His mouth hung open, shocked at what he was seeing. Sitting there, he battled with what he should do. Did he just leave it on read or maybe turn down the poor girl as politely as he knew how? 

Then, he saw that little green dot next to the profile picture and all of a sudden Instagram was telling him you were in the chat. 

He freaked out even more when he saw the bubble appear, signaling you were typing. 

Oh my god!!

Please ignore that 

I wasn't exactly sober when I sent it to you 

Eddie chucked at the speed at which your messages came in. You were definitely freaking out on the other side. So he decided to answer and put you at ease.

It's alright

Mistakes happen, believe me

He watches as your typing bubble appears once more. 

Oh my god, you actually answered me.

I'm going to fucking die

Please don't think I'm a creep, I promise I'm not!! 

I didn’t think you would see that 

Eddie shakes his head, a bemused expression washing over his face. Deciding it was late, he turned his phone off and set it aside. Sleep comes fast. It usually did, not only because Eddie could fall asleep anywhere, any time, but life on a tour bus–performing in a new town almost every night–was exhausting, especially for someone who was still new to the rockstar world.

When Eddie awoke the next morning, the first thing he did was grab his phone. Opening it, he was still in the chat with you. He laughed through his nose softly as he reread your messages. He should have clicked out and gone about his day, but for some reason, he wanted to continue talking with you. 

So, as he climbed from his bunk, he texted you back once more. 

Hey

Hope you didn’t die

…..

The ding from your phone caught your attention, pulling you away from typing on your computer. It was muscle memory that had you reaching for the device and pressing on the notification before even looking to see what it was, too confident it was either your best friend/roommate or your mother who always seems to be in your business. 

But as you look at the message, your eyes widen and your face heats with embarrassment. It was neither your mother nor your roommate… No, it was Eddie Munson, lead singer of Corroded Coffin, who had been witness to your most epic blunder. 

“Fuck!” The curse echoes through the apartment. Why is he messaging me? Again? Your heart thuds in your chest. Should you answer him back? Should you just ignore it? You had no clue what to do as your fingers hovered over the keyboard.

“What’s all the yellin’ about?” 

You startle when a voice calls out from the front door. Looking up, you see your roommate, Robin, taking her shoes off. 

“Hey, Rob. I’m actually going to fucking die. Like you need to find a new best friend because I am no longer here.”

She walks into your room and leans on the door frame, eyebrow raised quizzically. “Normally, I’m the dramatic one… What’s happened?”

You can’t help but nervously laugh and rub the back of your neck with a sweaty hand. 

“Oh my god, what did you do? You have that look!” She gasps and points a finger at you.

“What? I don’t have a look.” You defend. 

“Oh, yes, you do. You have this guilty look when you do something bad.” She argues, stepping further into your room. “Tell me what you did or I’ll hit you.” She makes a hard swipe at your shoulder.

Instinctively, you go to hold your assaulted arm. “Ow! What the fuck Rob!”

“Tell me or I’ll do it again.”

“Okay, okay! No need to get violent. Sheesh.” 

Taking a deep breath, you turn in your chair to face her as she sits on the edge of your bed. 

“So remember when we went out drinking the other night and I got all sad drunk on you because I’ve never had sex, let alone been in a relationship?”

She squinted her eyes, trying to determine where you were going with this. 

“And then you told me to just shoot my shot?” Well, drunk me apparently thought DMing my celebrity crush “Take my virginity” was a good fucking idea.”

Robin gasps, hand covering her mouth. “Oh babe, you did not…”

“Oh, wait, it gets worse.” You clap your hands together. “He fucking messaged me back. Twice! He probably thinks I'm a weirdo, maybe a stalker? I can never show my face in public again!”

“Alright, just calm down for a second.” Robin stands from her spot on the bed and stands in front of you with her hand out. “Let me see the damage.”

Reluctantly, you hand her the phone. She’s doing an awful lot of humming while looking at the short yet mortifying conversation. 

“Why do you keep humming like that?” You ask. She's making you nervous. 

She looks over the top of the phone at you and then back down. “I think he’s trying to start a conversation with you. Why else would he respond after seven hours? He actually might be flirting.”

You look at her horrified. “Robin, I highly doubt he is flirting with the crazy nobody who drunk texted him at 2 a.m. on a Saturday. If anything he’s trying to get information on me for a restraining order! I wouldn’t blame him.”

“Babe, you–and I can’t stress this enough–need to take a chill pill. Sure, you asked rising rock sensation Eddie Munson to take you to Pound Town, but the man is into it. He wouldn’t text you again if he wasn’t. If anything, he would have deleted the DM and gone about his day, he probably gets hundreds of texts just like it and there is just something about you that is reeling him in. In my expert opinion-”

“I’m sorry, expert?”

“Yes, expert. Now shut up. I think you should go with it. Text him back, flirt it up, because who knows what could happen? Maybe one day he’ll follow through on your request.” Robin is giving you a manic smile, one that has an idea behind it.

You squint your eyes at her, deciphering what she could be thinking. “Robin. No, don’t you dare.”

She yelps, shocked at the way you grab for your phone. “Whatever do you mean?”

“I mean, don’t do whatever it is you are thinking of doing!” You stand, reaching for the phone again. That’s when she bolts. “Robin! Come back here!”

“I’m doing you a favor! You’ll thank me later! Trust me!”

You chase after her through the apartment. Your poor downstairs neighbors probably think a herd of horses is running around above them. 

“I really don’t trust you, Rob! Give me the phone!” 

“You’ll have to pry it from my cold dead hands!” She screams as she makes a run for her room, slamming the door behind her. You catch up fast, pushing on the door and entering without a problem. She’s nowhere to be seen. 

“Rob? Where are you?” You ask, knowing she can only be in one of two places in the room. She’s either shoved herself under her bed or in the back of her closet. 

So, you stop and listen. You can hear the faintest of tapping sounds as her fingers furiously type away on your phone and it’s coming from under the bed. Diving to the floor, you pull the bed skirt away and see her lying there. 

“Robin, I swear to god, I'm going to kill you. Give me the goddamn phone.” You grab at her ankle and pull. She begins to scream and you can’t help but laugh at the ridiculous situation. 

“Stop! Stop or I swear I’ll send the message!” 

You stop pulling but you don’t let go. 

“How do I know you won’t just send it?”

“You have to trust me.” 

Sighing, you shake your head. “This situation has destroyed my trust in you. Slide me the phone and I’ll let you go.”

“Are you negotiating with me?” The tone in her voice is almost offended.

“Yes, I am negotiating with you. Your life for my phone with an unsent message.”

Robin huffs, “Alright. Deal.” She slides the phone back to you and you let go of her foot, snatching your device off the floor. 

She clambers out from under her bed but you can’t help but see the suspicious-looking face she’s making. 

Hastily, you unlock your phone, and low-and-behold, there is a message from you, or rather Robin, to Eddie Fucking Munson. 

Currently dying as we speak

“I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you!” You jump forward, grab one of her many stuffed animals from her bed, and launch it full speed at her. 

Robin ducks, laughing hysterically as she does so. “I’m so sorry!”

“No, you aren’t!” You throw another plushy. 

She moves to grab what you’ve thrown off the floor and begins pelting them back at you. “You’re right, I’m not! I’m helping your love life!”

Soon, you both calm down, each of you falling flat onto Robin’s bed and laughing. 

“I can not believe you did that.” You nudge her shoulder and she can’t help but giggle. 

“I really am sorry, but where else are you going to get the opportunity to flirt with the guy you’ve liked since before he got famous?”

Huffing, you roll your eyes. “I actually hate that you’re right.”

“Yeah, but you love me.”

“Unfortunately.” You groan as you stand up and begin to walk back to your room. 

You’re greeted with another ding when you fall back into your desk chair. This time you check the notification. Eddie has messaged back and it has your nerves standing on end. 

Could he really be flirting with you like Robin suggested? Is he like this with every girl who comes crawling into his DMs?

Against your better judgment, you open the message.

If you’re going to die, at least leave me something in your will.

That makes you laugh softly before typing back. 

And what makes you think I’ve got something for you to have?

He answers quickly.

I’m sure you can think of something 

No can do. 

All of my belongings are going to the ole best friend

so you’ll have to take it up with her

Dang, I was really hoping for something to remember you by.

I guess these messages will have to suffice ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You catch yourself biting your lip, a blush blooming on your face. 

Maybe you could think of something for me to give you…

What you were doing was a slippery slope. The ellipsis at the end of the sentence insinuates something less than innocent. You just couldn’t help it, Robin was right, he was flirting with you and obviously, your very forward first message didn’t deter him, so what was the harm in being a little risky? 

The three little dots appear as Eddie types. Then they stop and start again over and over. It makes your stomach flip. Maybe you shouldn’t have been suggestive. 

Oh I might have something

Your heart beat faster.

And what’s that?

I couldn’t help but go through your profile and I’m guessing you live in New York

Are you coming to the CC concert in a few days?

You aren’t too sure what he’s getting at but you answer him anyway.

Tickets were sold out in like five minutes, so unfortunately I’m not coming. 

He’s quick to respond.

Well, we can't have that. 

What if I put you on the VIP list? Would you come?

Are you sure? You don’t have to do that, it’s too much. 

Yes, I’m sure. I wouldn’t have asked you if I wasn't.

Your fingers hover over the keyboard, unsure of what you should say. ‘No’ would be the best answer, the safe answer but ‘yes’ was exciting and what you wanted to say deep down. After a game of mental tug-of-war, you finally begin to type.

Alright, I’ll be there. 

Great. The VIP entrance is on the north side of the venue, I'll be waiting for you.

……

The Corroded Coffin concert wasn’t for a few hours but with a mix of anxiety and excitement, you had gotten ready and made the long trek to the venue quicker than you thought you would. Luckily there was a tall man, most likely security, standing in front of what Eddie said would be the VIP doors. 

He spots you as you walk closer, his arms crossed and his eyes squint at you with suspicion. Taking a deep breath, he speaks, “Can I help you?”  

“I know I’m early but I should be on the VIP list.” The statement came out sounding more like a question than you had wanted it to. 

“I think you have the wrong place, there’s no VIP for this concert.” 

You turn your head to look back down the street and then back to the man in front of you. “This is the Corroded Coffin venue, isn't it?”

He nods, “Yeah, it is.” 

Before he could continue, theres a ringing that interrupted him. Pulling his phone out he takes a glance at the screen before his eyes snap back to you. “What’s your name?” 

You give it to him and before you can ask what’s happened, he steps back and opens the door. As he waives you inside, he says, “Eddie’s down the hall, to the right, and through the only red door.” 

The area backstage is as grungy as expected with its black-painted cinderblock walls covered in hundreds of stickers and graffiti. The band’s equipment fills the space making the path around it extremely narrow. You squeeze past amps and instruments and step over loose cords on your way to the door where you were told Eddie would be waiting.

It’s easy to find the red door. It sits at the end of the hall one bright light shining overhead, like it’s beckoning you forward, enticing you. 

You can’t help the nerves you feel, your heart pumping faster and faster, the lump in your throat. It all gets worse when you knock on the door and hear a muffled, “Yeah?” 

Taking that as your cue to go in, you open the door slowly. Eddie is sitting there on a black leather couch face buried in his phone. He looks up only slightly before he moves his gaze back down only to do a fast double-take when he realizes who you are. 

“Oh shit, I didn’t think you would be here this early.” He sets his phone down on the arm of the couch before standing and walking toward you. 

“Why? Waiting on another girl to show up before me, trying to worm your way into someone else's will?” You ask.

Eddie shakes his head, “No, yours is the only one I’m trying to get written into at the moment.” 

You can’t help the sheepish smile. “Ah, so I’m the only one for now but there will be others.”

“We’ll see,” Eddie winks, moving back to his seat on the couch.

Silence falls between the two of you. Nervously you begin to flit your eyes around the small room, fingers plying with the hem of your shirt. 

“You can sit if you’d like, I won’t bite.” Eddie motions for you to sit beside him and slowly you make your way over. 

Your skirt rides up and the leather of the cushion feels sticky against the backs of your legs, but it doesn’t distract you from how nervous you have become being in direct contact with one of your biggest crushes.  

“You okay?” 

Nodding stiffly, you respond, “Yeah, I’m good.” 

He takes your hand, and the warmth radiating off him makes you feel more at ease. The nervousness slowly dissipates as you get lost in his deep brown eyes. “You seem a bit nervous, I swear I just wanted to hang out with you, no funny business,” he raised his right hand, holding up three fingers, “Scout's honor.”

Laughing, you say, “I believe you! It’s just that you’re you and I’m me.”

“You say that like I’m some kind of celebrity.”

“But you are. And it’s kinda intimidating.”

Edde laughs loudly, “Me? I’m intimidating? What about sweet ol’ me intimidates you?”

You can’t help but giggle, entranced by his liveliness. “I don’t know, probably everything?” You motion up and down at him. 

“Oh come on!”

“No, really!” 

He looks at you, eyebrows raised quizzically. 

“I’m just shy, and you seem to exude confidence.”

“Na, that’s only on stage sweetheart. Think of it as an act.”

The longer the conversation went, the more comfortable you became. Eddie was no longer this scary rockstar sitting before you but a regular charismatic guy. Your posture was no longer rigid as you sat curled up on the couch. Eddie had gotten closer but he was still at a respectful distance. 

You’re pulled from your chat when someone knocks on the door. When it opens, a short blond woman is standing with a clipboard clutched in her hand and her finger pressed to a button on the side of her headset. As she spoke into her mic she waved her clipboard at Eddie, beckoning him to come with her. 

Eddie checks his phone and stands within a second. “Looks like it’s show time. Follow Chris here and she’ll lead you to the barricade. I’ll see you after?”

You nod enthusiastically. “Yeah, I’ll see you when the show’s over!” 

……

The venue isn’t big but it feels like thousands of people are cramped into the tiny space. You’re thankful to be at the barricade where you at least have no one crowded in front of you, even if you are being squished against the metal railing.

The crowd is rowdy, chanting for the band to come out. Their screams only become louder once the lights dim and the squeal of a guitar erupts over the speakers. Your heart is in your throat as you make out the band filing onto the stage in the almost pitch blackness. 

Then, in an instant, the spotlight comes on and Eddie steps forward as he plays the opening riff to their newest song. 

The way his fingers dance across the frets is making you clench your legs. If his fingers could play that fast, what else were they capable of? 

As he begins to strut across the stage, lyrics flow past his lips carried by a deep, sensual tune. His eyes catch yours in the crowd and from that point on, you were entranced. Your eyes never left his. No longer were you surrounded by a crowd, separated by a stage and a metal barrier. No, you were right next to him. You could feel him, his warmth, and the way his breath fanned over your face as he sang. 

The concert went by with you bewitched, like a sailor hearing a siren song. Eddie seduced you with his words and movements until you were almost a puddle on the floor.

Finally, when the lights went down and the crowd filed out, a security guard came to escort you backstage once more. 

The atmosphere had changed from the light-friendly one that had been there hours before. Now the air in the small room was charged. You felt the air crackling as you ended, goosebumps rose on your arms as Eddie greeted you. His eyes were filled with something more than friendliness.

Your tongue felt heavy as you tried to speak and your mouth felt dry even as saliva pooled in response to the sweaty mess that stood in front of you. 

It’s like your body went into autopilot, your mind swirled as you stepped toward Eddie. Your hips swung sensually and once you were close enough to him, you reached a handout and pushed him back onto the couch. 

He landed with a “humph”. His eyes followed you as you slowly fell to your knees. 

“Sweetheart, what are you doing?”

You look up at him though through lidded eyes. “I meant what I said the other night.” Your hands glide up his thighs, fingers barely tracing over the bulge underneath the zipper. “I want you to take my virginity.” 

Eddie catches your hands. “You sure about that? I don’t want to make you feel like you have to.”

Sighing, you lean into his space, “I’m so sure.” 

With nimble fingers, you unhooked the button of his leather pants, the zipper moved down on its own thanks to Eddie’s stiff cock pressing against the tight fabric. 

You can't stop your mouth from salivating when you see he isn’t wearing underwear. He lifts his hips, helping you to pull his pants down. Your eyes widen at how massive he is. Eddie smirks when you look up at him through your lashes. 

“Don’t worry baby, you can take it.” 

You aren’t quite sure you can. He’s intimidating, especially for your first time, but he soothes you with gentle, calloused fingers brushing your cheek, pulling you to him. 

With a quivering lip, you open your mouth, tongue pushing forward–waiting eagerly to taste him. You can’t help the lewd moan that erupts from the depths of your throat once Eddie’s cock is placed on your wet muscle. He’s warm, hot almost, and the bead of white at his slit tastes weird. 

Your eyes meet his when you look up at him, the once-milk chocolate of his irises had turned pitch black as he watched. Slowly you close your lips around him and begin to bob up and down along his length. 

“Oh- oh fuck.” Eddie choked out. His hand flew to the top of your head, harshly tugging on the strands of hair. It sent a delicious sting down your spine and a pulsing throb through your cunt.

You keep going, the whimpering moans erupting from Eddie the only encouragement you needed. His mouth is spewing filthy words, ones that would have any grandmother clutching her pearls, but no, they spur you on, had wetness soaking into your underwear. You were afraid if he didn't stop, you'd cum without having been touched. 

“God damnit, your mouth is so fucking good, Baby. Fuck.” Eddie’s fingers grip tighter and his hips start to tick upward, shoving him further into your throat. You can’t stop the gag that comes at the intrusion. Pulling away a line of spit still connects your mouth to him. You take a moment to breathe, the sight of Eddie's flushed face and dark eyes fueling your desire. He looks down at you, a mixture of awe, concern, and raw need in his expression.

“Fuck, sorry.”

“It’s okay,” you assure him once you catch your breath. “I just wasn’t expecting that,” you laugh a little. 

The two of you sit there for a moment, chests heaving and eyes wandering, until Eddie begins to move. He grabs hold of your arm, pulling you up and into him, his lips press to yours and you melt into him. The kiss only lasts for a few seconds before he is trailing down, tongue smoothing over your jaw and he attaches against the soft skin of your neck. The sucking you feel is a weird sensation but not at all unpleasant. 

Goosebumps appear in the wake of Eddie’s fingers as they travel down your arms and to the hem of your shirt. He tugs on it slightly, prompting you to pull away so he can slip the top over your head. Deft fingers work at your bra strap as he starts kissing over your shoulder and chest, stopping to suck and nip where he pleased. 

“Eddie,” you sigh.

He hums in acknowledgment. 

“Need more. Please I need more.” 

Without a word, he breaks away and pushes you onto your back. His hands are hot as they travel over your legs and under the pleats of your skirt. Your breath hitches in your throat when Eddie begins to drag your panties down your legs. 

Embarrassment flushes over you when his eyes lay upon your needy cunt. No one has ever seen you like this, vulnerable with all your most intimate parts on display. You can’t help but shy away, gazing anywhere but at Eddie. 

“Prettiest pussy I've ever seen,” he remarks as he leans closer. His tongue slips past his lips, tasting the wetness gathering at your folds. A primal moan escapes him as he begins to lap at you, drinking you in. His fingers splay over your thighs, pulling you closer as he eats you like a man starved. 

“Oh! Oh fuck-” You can't help the exclamation. The feeling of his wet muscle sliding over your clit in just the right way, at just the right rhythm. Your hands grip at anything they can, trying to keep you from floating away. 

You felt so good. He felt so good. Ecstasy flowed through your veins like rushing rapids, untamed and strong. Zaps of electricity could be felt throughout your body as he ate you up. 

Thick fingers tease at your entrance and your legs instantly snap shut. Eddie uses his other hand to pry your thighs from around his head. “Keep ‘em open sweetheart.”

Your heart fluttered and seized when one of his digits easily slipped into you. You could feel yourself clenching around him, it wasn't enough, you needed more, needed him to stretch you out further.

“Eddie- Eddie please,” you gasp. “More!” 

He hums into your cunt, the vibrations make your back arch off the sticky leather of the couch. Within seconds of your demand, Eddie is slipping a second finger inside you. You can feel the sharp cold from his rings as they come into contact with your hot skin and his thick fingers curling into you. 

All that could be heard in the room were the wet sounds of the rockstar feverishly finger fucking you and the gasping moans you let out every time he licked you just right or his fingers brushed just against a sensitive spot.

Eddie removed himself from your clit with a ‘pop’, the cool air that rushed over the wetness made you shiver. “Look so fuckin’ pretty all splayed out for me, Baby. What do say we kick it up a notch hum?” He asks, voice sickly sweet. 

“Yes, fuck- yes.” You agree, body thrumming with anticipation. 

Slowly, he removed his fingers from you. You blushed as you watched him bring the digits to his mouth, tongue licking the remnants of you off them. “You taste so fucking good. God, I want to be between your legs forever.” 

His words did something to you. Your pulse quickened and your cunt fluttered, emotions went feral inside of you. It took all your energy not to pull him into you at that moment. 

“Fuck me,” you spoke, just above a whisper. 

“What was that, baby?”

“I want you to fuck me, Eddie. Please, I need to feel you inside me, pounding into me. Make it so I feel you for days after I leave, I need it, I want it so bad, please.” It might have sounded desperate but you didn’t care. It was the last thing on your mind. You were so close to having him, you could just taste it and it was driving you crazy.

“Oh yeah? Want my fat fucking cock inside that tight cunt? Stretching you out, ruining you for anybody else? Hum? Is that what you want?”

“Yes,” you beg, “yes, please. Want your cock in me now.”

“Alright, Sweetheart, I’ll give you what you want.”

Eddie’s large hands splayed over your hips, pulling you into the position he wanted. You watched in awe as he brought the angry red tip of his cock to your drooling cunt, gliding it through your folds and pushing it gently inside. 

He was so big, just the tip of him was stretching you farther than you ever had been before. Your hips careened away from him but he held your steady. 

“Not gonna hurt you, just gonna take it slow until I get all the way in,” He spoke gently, soothingly. 

Nodding, you take a deep breath, trying to relax as he pushes into you inch by glorious inch. 

A loud cry sounds in your throat as he bottoms out. Your hands fly to his shoulders, nails digging into his skin as a fierce ache erupts in your abdomen. 

Eddie grunts, pulling back slowly, just an inch before he pushes back inside. The tip of him presses into you, coaxing the fire in your belly. It’s only been a few minutes but you want more, you want it harder, faster, less careful. You wanted to be fucked. You wanted to know what it was like to not be able to walk straight after, wanted to experience life-altering sex with the man of your dreams. 

“More,” you mewl. “More, Eddie, I want more!” 

His hips pick up pace in answer his movements becoming more urgent as he responds to your plea. The room fills with the sounds of your mingled moans and the rhythmic creak of the couch. Each thrust sends waves of pleasure coursing through you, pushing you closer to the edge. You cling to him, lost in the sensation, as he fulfills your deepest desires.

You could feel it, a little tingling in your tummy as he fucked you deep and raw. Something you had never experienced before, not even when you had come by yourself. You were building up fast, causing your body to shake and your toes to curl as you tried to hold it off, but it was no use. You were tipping over the edge within a second. 

“Oh, fuck!” You scream, head flung back into the cushion. Your chest rose in the air and Eddie held you tightly, his thrusts coming short and fast as he worked you into your rapture. “Eddie! I’m- I- I’m- Oh shit. Oh, holy shit. I’m about to-”

“I know. Can feel you squeezin’ me like a fuckin’ vice.” His arms flex as he holds you steady against his assault.

Your climax crashes over you like a tidal wave, every muscle in your body contracting with intense pleasure. Eddie continues to move within you, prolonging your ecstasy until you collapse back on the couch, utterly and completely spent. He follows soon after, his release warm on your stomach, leaving you both breathless and sated.

Laying there, you couldn’t believe what had just happened. You had just fucked the Eddie Munson… Not just fucked, you let him be your first. Who knew a drunken text could lead to something as inconceivable as having a literal rockstar fuck you until you were seeing stars. 

You could feel Eddie shifting, and you opened your eyes to see him looking down at you. His lips moved, but you could hear no sound. Your heart was racing, and the blood was pumping too loudly in your ears for you to make out what he was saying. 

“Huh?” 

Eddie just shook his head, a smirk forming on those kiss-swollen lips. He stood from the couch, careful not to put his weight on you. 

You watched him closely as he pulled his pants up his thighs and walked to a black duffel bag in the corner. He rummaged through it for a moment before coming back, a green and white package of baby wipes in tow. Taking one out he slowly wiped at the mess you had both made, cleaning you gently. 

By the time he finished, the rushing in your ears had stopped. “Thank you,” you said as you sat up, pulled your skirt down, and searched for your bra and shirt. 

“You don’t have to thank me, Sweetheart. Any decent person offers aftercare.” He bends down, grabs the garments you were looking for, and hands them to you. 

Shaking your head, you say, “Not just for that, Eddie, for everything. I was mortified when I noticed those drunk texts, I still kinda am, but I’m glad you didn’t just block me and move on.” 

“‘S’all right, I actually thought it was cute.”

“You did not… It’s so embarrassing.” You bury your face in your hands blushing as red as you possibly could. 

“Oh, but I did. I wouldn’t have entertained the conversation with you if I hadn’t.”

“Mmm, okay then.” You shake your head. Standing up, you grab your stuff and look back at Eddie. “I guess I should go now, you probably have somewhere to be.” Taking a step toward him, you were going to kiss him on the cheek but thought better of it. Somehow that felt more intimate than the sex you had just had. 

He caught your hand as you turned to go. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Looking back at him you spot your panties hanging from the index finger of his other hand. “Oh, sorry.” You reach to grab for them but he pulls them away. 

You look at him, brow raised in confusion.

“On second thought, maybe I should keep them so I have an excuse to see you again?

[oikarma]

sweetener

pairing: franco colapinto x reader

summary: time to start promoting your documentary about lewis hamilton. the best place for publicity is in the pit lane, but there seems to be another hamilton fan on the grid-nevermind, there might be new contender for franco colapinto's heart.

a/n: google translate. i don't speak spanish sorry 😭 here's a happy, cutesy one in celebration of franco becoming alpine's reserve driver!

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by f1, lewishamilton, and 3,530,927 others

yourinstagram I'm sure you all know of his triumphs, but there are many struggles that have been forgotten.

tagged: lewishamilton SEVEN UP: THE LEWIS HAMILTON STORY out in theatres April 4th, 2025.

view all 149,103 comments

user1 who put her in charge 💀 hasn't she butchered enough projects

user2 hope the FIA didn't have a say on this one

user3 pfft watch half the documentary end up being an argument on why lewis should've won abu dhabi 21

user4 mother hard at work!!

user5 does this mean she's doing a press tour?? what's the equivalent of a press tour for a documentary

user6 on her live a while back y/n said she would be doing some promotional interviews with lewis and there was a rumor that she'll be showing up at the first few races of the year

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by lewishamilton, francolapinto and 5,053,782 others

yourinstagram Now and then. We interviewed Lewis after his first day at Maranello and after his last race with Mercedes.

tagged: lewishamilton

view all 394,332 comments

user1 you can hate her but she got the GOAT scheduling interviews with her

user2 to be an oscar-nominated director and to work with lewis hamilton 🙏 life goals user3 It's literally just PR. It's his film of course he has to show up to talk to her about it user2 @/user3 hello?? he doesn't HAVE to show up or do anything most documentaries r released after the subject(s) pass/r in no condition to comment and neither lewis nor the film need pr it's all a matter of politeness user3 someone's defensive...

user4 he looks so much happier! shame he wasn't wearing red though it's almost like he's still repping mercedes

user5 love that for him but pls whoever picked that outfit needs to be talked to

francolapinto GOAT 🐐

user6 franco being a fan as always user7 SKDFJDS he's so unserious i love him

scuderiaferrari it was so cool seeing you on your factory tour 🤩

yourinstagram anytime, admin!

user8 well didn't merc fumble rather badly on that one

user9 😔 end of an era...but it was great while it lasted

user9 ngl i like the grey. it's still kinda jarring seeing him in BRIGHT RED.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by francolapinto, charles_lerclerc, and 340,771 others

scuderiaferrari Best director in our hearts! Academy-nominated director Y/N L/N graced our paddock today for the Australian GP ❤️

tagged: yourinstagram

user1 franco in the likes...ariana what are you doing here

user2 he better take the alpine seat permanently i NEED to see him on the grid

user3 admin have you watched we live in time yet?

scuderiaferrari have watched all of miss y/ns films at least twice. that one destroyed me. ☹️ user4 admin getting a little relatable here

user5 uh oh someone's salty about her losing to jacques audiard

user6 let's be fr though he totally deserved it more user7 but did you see how he snubbed cynthia during her nomination? rude asf at least y/n has class

charles_leclerc Consider yourself booked for my documentary

yourinstagram let's not get ahead of ourselves charles. alexandra on the other hand... alexandrasaintmleux what an honor 🥰 user8 LMFAO

user9 slayed the house (garage?) down

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by roscoelovescoco, francolapinto and 410,932 others

yourinstagram thanks for having me this weekend 😚 now say hi to the real star of the show

view all 30,814 comments

roscoelovescoco come back soon please

yourinstagram anything for you <3 user1 SHE MET ROSCOE IVE NEVER BEEN MORE JEALOUS OF ANYONE IN MY WHOlE LiFE

user2 jaw dropped

user3 the color is so cute!!

francolapinto blue looks good on you. wanna match sometime?

user4 franco trying to convince alpine to invite her LOL user5 he shot his shot and it fell flat to the ground yourinstagram sorry, i prefer red

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by alpinef1team and 673,410 others

francolapinto back on the grind 💪

view all 49,126 comments

user1 did he-

user2 i think- user3 what- user4 can someone finish their sentence please 😭 im so lost

user5 franco you could use me until my body and mind broke but all i'd ask is if tomorrow works for you

user6 my heart just stopped

user7 am i overreacting or is this a response to y/n's comment about liking red better

user8 THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT user9 right but mb he just wore a diff color shirt user10 this clashes w all his feed though he's either in light blue/white/navy

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

francolapinto has added to their stories

[ translation: i like my coffee bitter, but she's pretty sweet ]

replies

oscarpiastri you finally tried the swiss roll?

francolapinto it was so good 😋 i had two!

yourinstagram you literally called me sour and bitter

francolapinto all my teasing's in the name of love yourinstagram right.

user1 who's she franco??

user2 the only time i ever use google is to figure out wtf franco's writing on his stories

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

yourinstagram has added to their stories

replies

lewishamilton how was he?

yourinstagram decent. did not yap as much about you as i expected lewishamilton i guess meeting me reduces a bit of the obsession yourinstagram it's okay lew, he DID ask me how you were doing, what you thought of him, and what it was like working w you lewishamilton maybe he just got sidetracked

francolapinto mi preciosa

yourinstagram okay. francolapinto you like me a bit more, no? yourinstagram you tell me franco

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by alexandrasaintmleux and 790,148 others

yourinstagram きれい

view all 61,493 comments

user1 no idea what she said but pop off queen!

user2 her feed...😭 it's so pretty

user3 y/n will we see you @ suzuka??

yourinstagram 🤫 user4 NO WAY I THOUGHT THEY'D WRAPPED PROMO BUT YAYAYAY

francolapinto no hablo japonesa pero te amo en español (i don't speak japanese but i love you in spanish)

user5 am i. seeing things? user6 franco we talked about this you can't be thirsting over random girls it'll make you look like a simp francolapinto @/user6 ¿simp? cualquiera estaría por ella (simp? anyone would be for her) user7 oh the way i will mourn when the pr team gets ahold of him user8 and the way she ignored him 💀

user9 my fatal flaw is thinking that if i had a camera i would be taking pics like these too

alexandrasaintmleux heavenly

yourinstagram muah muah user10 @/charles_leclerc your girlfriend is in love w someone else

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

francolapinto added to their stories

viewed by f1gossipofficial and 87,029 others

replies

user1 oh my GOD they're DATING??

user2 y/n folded

user3 franco how'd you bag a baddie like her

user4 one chance mi amor

yourinstagram who took the photo?

francolapinto may have asked a very nice vendor to take pictures of my gf on our first date 🥺 yourinstagram didn't know you had enough rizz to get a girlfriend francolapinto yeah me neither i think she likes me because i get awkward around her

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

liked by lewishamilton and 928,137 others

yourinstagram he likes it when i'm mean

view all 60,438 comments

user1 she hard launched him on her main?? omg y/n you are a changed woman

user2 his biceps...

francolapinto i like being degraded sue me

user3 HELLO? user4 franco never let them change you yourinstagram weak.

user5 he's such a puppy for her oml

user6 goals fr

lewishamilton pay up.

yourinstagram we didn't even make a bet?? charles_leclerc @/yourinstagram if you'd just waited ONE day yourinstagram @/charles_leclerc you bet on my relationship?? francolapinto i appreciate your confidence in me lewis yourinstagram @/francolapinto idiot. you don't even know what the specifics of the bet were

[bbadandboujee]

#BLONDED ASTRO OBSERVATIONS

so after a long day of drawing, it’s 2 a.m, i’m horny, why not do some astro observations idk?

this will mostly consist of synastry & solar return charts.

OBSERVATIONS:

VENUS IN THE FIRST HOUSE OVERLAY/VENUS CONJUNCT YOUR ASCENDANT SYNASTRY: ahh 🙂‍↕️, i have this with 2 of my side pieces!! chile best synastry overlay EVER. this can either go 2 ways, A. they really really find you attractive, they like your style, i find that they most likely like something about your beauty, for example the sign its in, let’s say cancer, cancer ascendants does enhance features like breasts, or big lips (from what i’ve noticed!) or even an hour glass shaped body (body TTT!!) either way, they’ll like that specific feature of you the most depending on what sign its in. B. ok so they MAY find you a bit different than how this placement usually works, they may think you present yourself in a way thats too over the top?? (girl idk men suck!) and i find this weird bc like, being yourself is all that matters so whats tea? anywho, regardless though, they’re gonna find you very intriguing and attractive, but on the flip side they might think that you’re like other people with this placement from what i’ve observed.

MARS CONJUNCT MERCURY SYNASTRY: yoo i barley see shit about this??? but girl the amount of times y’all will be sexting with this placement!! even on FaceTime it’ll be lots of flirting, i feel like the annoying part of this placement is talking over each other? i don’t find it annoying though trust i find it very stimulating..anywho, i feel like depending on which person is mars, the mars person will most DEF communicate with the mercury person first since mars does rule over action. so if you’ve met this person online or whatever mercury person, prepare for mars to slide in your dms idk.

VENUS IN 11H OVERLAY: omg so my venus is in his (i think side piece number 2?) 11h, and omg i did meet him online! definitely this is a friend crush overlay! also, friends to lovers vibes with this overlay too. i feel like its a lighthearted relationship and being friends honestly feels really genuine and sweet, i feel like with this overlay you don’t look at them with lust, you look at them a light hearted love (awe). if you definitely need a friend house person, you’ll have the bestest time getting to know the venus person fr, vise versa.

SOLAR RETURN ⬇️

this was in my drafts so i decided to bring it here chi!

MERCURY IN THE 7H: you will receive some kind of proposal, whether it’s business or relationship related. and if it is relationship related you will receive this from MULTIPLE people, if this is one of the years where you are in a relationship, expect to get proposed too. also a year where you can meet new connections online.

2ND HOUSE STELLIUM: i have this, this year, this just might be one of my best years istg? expect to make a lot of money ESPECIALLY if beneficial planets are involved. and not only that, your self worth will increase hell of a lot. also to see where your money comes from, check the ruler of the 2nd house.

A YEAR WHERE YOUR NATAL ASCENDANT IS THE SOLAR RETURN ASCENDANT: WHOEVER HAS THIS IS SO LUCKY!! this is one of your best years where you’re literally birthing a new project or starting something new, could also be a year where you’re put into the spotlight, achieving something, and fulfilling your natal promise!! definitely a good year for improvement, growth, and just like i said fulfillment.

MARS IN THE 6H: DEFINITELY a good year to get active, loose weight, or just become more healthier. a very busy year as well too. you could be surrounded by men more in your daily life/at work. definitely not a good year to start arguments with your coworkers or vise versa 😭 (edit: BUT IF THEY NEED THAT? GIRL GIVE THEM HELL IDK.)

SUN IN THE 5H: a very fun year!! omg every year i had this in i’d literally call it satire cus wtf was that?? lol, honestly a light hearted year where you’re having fun, not taking life to seriously, also a year where someone announces their pregnancy.

ALRIGHTY THATS IT! hope y’all enjoyed! 🙂‍↕️

[drdemonprince]

Hey doc,

I work in education and in the process of reading your stuff on child liberation and just…general autonomy…I have been very radicalized in favor of both these concepts. The problem is that I work in education, and denying children their rights is literally in my job description. I’ve tried to talk to other burnt out teachers about my plans to leave but most of them think I’m crazy. They’re leaving teaching because they hate children, I’m leaving education because I love them too much to grind them into dust under the heel of my jackboot. We are not the same.

Anyway, curious as to whether you (or your followers) had any advice for me. I’m already taking steps to leave education…while also trying to silence the voices in my head that say this is the only way I’m qualified to make a living.

youre beautiful for this. sending my support and solidarity. Connect to unschoolers, family abolitionists, anarchists, and parents of neurodivergent kids who are trying to operate in non-institutional ways. Look at organizations that offer kids educational and creative opportunities without lording power over them, especially cultural stewardship programs and Indigenous groups. There are orgs and informal groups and people who care and are trying to do something different all around you. You need only find them and help wake some of them up. The work is not done for you yet, this is just the new chapter of your life doing your best to do right by kids!! You will land where you need to be. All your skills and experiences will have prepared you for the next moment and the next and the next!

[maltmatcha]

Why Volo Wanted a Better World!

This is a semi-analysis of the game's lore, but most of it is just me ranting about the implications no one at Game Freak Even thought of.

A part of Legends Arceus that always interested me was Volo's insistence on creating a better world to the point of a genuine mental breakdown at the top of Mount Coronet. The game itself is very vague about Volo's Better World, but from his own words he says that the feelings that sparked the desire to create a new world first began to manifest when he was a child.

"You see, ever since I was young, whenever I met with something painful or heartbreaking... I couldn't help but wonder why life was so unfair. Why I was cursed to live through such things."

This is a bit of a childish point of view, he even acknowledges that whenever he says that he thinks everyone goes through that feeling. It's important though, to acknowledge how children are treated in Hisui. Akari and Rei are stated to be 15, and are very much old enough to begin work.

Volo was encountering upsetting, likely even traumatizing things as a child. We can infer that Volo's been working since he was young, seeing as it seems to be the norm in this time period. Of all characters, Melli is the only one to acknowledge that the player character is far too small and young to be doing the tasks they're set to do, and even then it was only in relation to his own lord and their battle with Adaman.

Now, considering that Volo himself was forced to be a part of this frankly unjust situation, one would imagine he wouldn't exactly enjoy seeing it perpetuated.

Considering that, who is the first person Volo is seen speaking to? Akari/Rei. Now, it doesn't really matter what Volo is talking to them about, seeing as we never know as the player. Its either mercantile things or idle gossip, but the important thing is that Volo has an at least outwardly positive relationship with younger members of the Galaxy Team.

Why does this matter? Because the Galaxy Team is KNOWN for kicking out children, forcing them into the wilderness, and allowing them to die.

The player character's home was lived in before they arrived. The person that came before them was likely a child that either died or was kicked out and LEFT to die. Did Volo know them? Did Volo speak to them often, sell to them, have a positive relationship with them?

If so, he had to watch them die.

Not literally, mind you! But upon returning to Jubilife Village, did anyone break the news to him? Or did he slowly notice that the kid wasn't there anymore? Imagine, as someone who had to go through traumatizing things as a child, watching as more and more kids are sent off to be traumatized just like him, or even worse, die.

This isn't even mutually exclusive to kids. As a travelling Merchant, he likely had hundreds of customers. Well... Assuming he ever actually did his job, which is a debate for another day. Considering most people in Jubilife are scared of a goddamn bidoof, how many of his regulars, people he fraternized with and had the company of, died suddenly?

Isn't that unfair? No wonder he avoids his job, he'd be forced to accept the brutal reality of the world he lives in every time he spoke to someone!

Considering that Volo is at best a Religious zealot,

"I've devoted myself to Arceus beyond any other! I worshiped it as the creator of our entire world! I bent all of my passion and interest to its study! All the time I've spent poring over the legends... Everything that I've done—!"

Isn't it normal for a religious man to pray for things to get better? Now, imagine that God is a creature that is spoken of in runes, ancient tapestries, legends, and he is described as the Creator of the world that you have seen is cruel and unjust and kills indiscriminately.

Further, imagine that a being CLOSE to that God comes to you and promises that you can meet that God. All you have to do is gather some plates and piss some other pokemon off.

You'd take that chance in a heartbeat, wouldn't you? Your devotion, your ideals, all of it would come together in this opportunity. It would all stop. The children dying, the traumatizing life that everyone had here, all of it would be over. All you had to do was meet your God and convince it to start over. End everyone's suffering. After all, you've seen that this world is beyond redemption.

Volo's descent into madness was not only justified, but inevitable. His beliefs, the world he was in, and Giratina itself constantly validated his worldview. The compounding of his own suffering, the suffering of everyone around him, and literal pokemon SATAN whispering in his ear would be enough for anyone to crack.

Volo was never an inherently evil man at heart. He was never outwardly cruel to the player until Mount Coronet, and though you could argue it was in his best interest to be kind, at times, it wasn't. There are opportunities wherein it would have been beneficial for him to be cruel to the player. The exile? If he'd simply said that he'd only help in exchange for the plates they've gathered, or even the rest of the plates they gathered in the future, the player would have had little other option.

And when he is cruel? He's so close to getting what he wanted, he's so close to ending the misery of everyone who's ever been. The ends justify the means, and he's the closest to the heavens he'll ever get to be.

Volo is a man who was continuously traumatized, forced to watch Bad things happen to Good people, and then was made to watch as some CHILD who fell from the sky with no noble goal, no worship of the Creator, received the blessing he so desperately clawed his way towards his entire life.

Anyway I want to kiss him.

[caliform-ula]

tour diaries ✮ february 21st/22nd ✮ houston, texas ✮

FIRST SHOW!!!!! this was our first weekend of tour and wow, what a kind welcome we got in texas. i’ve literally never been to texas so this was sooooo exciting for me.

i must say….. wtf it was so cold </3 we happened to be in houston during some of y’all’s coldest weather in the last few years!!! needless to say, i was definitely freezing the entire time hahaha.

we played both friday and saturday at katy mills!!! i met so many new people and had the privilege of sharing my art with them. touring the malls is rly cool for me because i never got the chance to tour the USA during my loverboy era - which has some of my most upbeat pop music i’ve ever made. loverboy was my pandemic baby, so it’s so fun to bring this music to life city after city

✮ highs and lows ✮ opening night of tour always have their ups and downs! honestly one of my highs was riding in the tour van for the first time!!!! we landed in houston, and got picked up by the greater than tour van!!!!! i was like holy shit… i’m really on tour right now this is crazy. my low definitely was getting used to traveling and performing same day. this was soooo new for me and i definitely took it like a champ! this is tour life and there’s for sure gonna be moments where i can’t let being tired take over.

✮ mall report ✮ i thought this would be a fun section to add in every week to share my favorite parts of each mall we visit! i could not believe it……. this mall has a bass pro shop inside it!!!!! i was like dude that is crazy. growing up in new york, we never had anything like bass pro shop, so anytime im down south i must visit!!!!

✮ tour outfit ✮ i <3 this outfit this day! my shirt is thrifted from a shop i love in burbank, california called the holding company! their mens vintage collection is insane and my favorite! i swear jorts and a loafer have become my new uniform….. so expect to see lots of it this tour hahahaha

✮ what i’m listening to on the van ✮ i said i was going to share music im listening to in each city, but lucky for me i forgot my headphones at home 😍 and sat through two silent flights……. lol

but trust me tons of new music recommendations coming ur way shortly.

✮ favorite spot ✮ we didn’t have too much time this week to explore the city, BUT oh my god… we went to Chuy’s Tex-mex and it was soooooo good. i’ve been vegan for over ten years, so i’m on a mission to find the best vegan food in every city. i got the veggie enchiladas and yup! 10/10

another high that needs it own moment has to be being on a songwriting panel with princess superstar <3 we talked all about our songwriting and creative process….. SOOO FUN!!!! she’s a pop genius so this was such a sick experience!!!

tour continues this weekend and i can’t wait to see u in oklahoma city!!!!!! <333333

tour dates + music info here

[fake-fun]

[cent-scratchnsniff]

it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)

[nicorobinphd]

stg, being an enjoyer of jane twdg is like being forced into an expert-level course on the way misogyny manifests in video game spaces.

god forbid a woman be complex or difficult or provably mischaracterized (see tags) at the end of her arc to service the culmination of a man’s storyline.

[thebirdandhersong]

Lol

[rubber-glovs]

Oooohhh the urge to yap about my ocs and the world they live in......

[simgerale]

me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game

[citrusai]

some shippers when solas has had important relationships from thousands of years ago and he can't just forgive himself for failing those closest to him then and go "okie dokie!" when his wife tells him he can come back home

[adastra-rising]

My one hope for season 6 is that they deal with Argos’ eyebrows.

You think I’m kidding but I’m totally not.

I’ve seen people clown on his inhuman eyes or purple skin but I literally don’t care I just need them to use a darker shade of green for his eyebrows. Because compared to his skin, his light green eyebrows are quite hard to make out.

Like, in this shot right here, you can’t see his eyebrows.

And this might be a personal thing but eyebrows in animation are one of the best ways to show facial expressions.

Actually, scratch that, give him some eyeliner while you’re at it. And alter the shade of the sclera to be lighter than the iris, OR make the iris MUCH brighter (this is what fanart often does). I LOVE the dark sclera but in the daylight (Like Felix looks stunning in every single frame of Emotion, and still looks good in a large majority of Representation, but as soon as you slap his character model under the light of the sun, something feels off) or in zoomed out shots, he looks super… bug-eyed? Like it’s not super clear where the sclera begin and the iris ends? None of the other holders with altered eyes (Ryuko, Chat Noir, Ladynoire, etc) have this problem it’s just him. And his eyes so cool, I just want them to be like…. Visible?

I might make an attempt at an Argos redesign but I already REALLY like his design, he outserves literally everyone. there are just like, a few small changes I’d make for the sake of versatility? If that makes any sense.

[seaofreverie]

Had the most awful ruined day because my flatmates who had been telling me that I'm not doing something (doing my portion of the weekly cleaning) that I very much DID do each week, decided today to fully reveal their awfulness and keep pestering me over it once more, telling me that I don't clean and asking me to tell them what exactly I cleaned like they're the owner of this flat and not just someone I'm sharing a living space with, and all the while I was being polite about it and not attacking them over all the things I could be bitching about if I were them, like how THEY don't clean after themselves and how they're loud at 4am and keep inviting friends several times a week. What I got in return was that they apparently thought I wasn't home so after I stopped texting them the same thing over and over they all met up and loudly made fun of me and congratulated each other over the "sick burns" they threw at me and implied that they think I'm stupid and somehow don't understand what I'm being told. All the while I was sitting in my room wanting to blow the entire place up because I needed to leave for a meeting I had later and couldn't leave that godforsaken flat.

[angelnumber27]

My life has improved a lot since being more consistent with responding to and talking to friends and saying yes to plans instead of letting anxiety make me say no. Maintaining good relationships and having a support system is so important. I isolated myself badly for over two years just out of fear and anxiety and depression and I was REALLY suicidal not that long ago. I recently decided that I deserve to actually live and have fun and be with my friends, not just isolate and rot in bed and it was literally a life-changing decision