#literally shaking theyre everything to me
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Waiting for Cynthia.
Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies | S01 E07: "Cruisin' For Bruisin'"
#the way she's in the frame only like 4 times#and she's always looking out of the window#if you squint you can see it in the video too at the very last moment#she looks like a painting#you know the ones where the lady is gazing longingly in the distance#i love my dramatic lesbians#these are literal crumbs but i'm living for it????#i've never been so invested in a teenage romance#anxiously anticipating next week's episode...#will they dance together???#literally shaking theyre everything to me#grease the rise of the pink ladies#the rise of the pink ladies#cynthia and lydia#lydia and cynthia#ari notartomaso#niamh wilson#also lydia and floyd lesbian and gay solidarity
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trying to imagine what a Welcome Home ending would look like (which is extremely stupid lmao considering we dont know shit about jack yet), and it's just... huh.
i doubt it's going to take the "the puppets are turned into humans and they join the real world" route (and if it does, then cool! that'd be sick as fuck!), so what would a happy ending look like for them? would they get a little sanctuary to live freely in? is there a secret world of living puppets out there somewhere?
what if its a tragic ending? the puppets either are repurposed for a new show, or stripped of their Awareness, or become inanimate objects - normal puppets? what if they just straight up fade away?
or a bittersweet ending? they renew the show in order to stay alive and together, but they're forced to return to their old lives & routines? or it's ambiguous and we don't actually see what happens after a certain point - where the ending for the audience comes before the puppet's real endgame; it's not for us to see/know, they get an unobserved close to the story.
its simultaneously fascinating and distressing to think about.
#i have an inkling its gonna be that last bittersweet one but WHO KNOWS NOT FUCKIN ME!!!#for all we know theres a secret option none of us will ever consider#and then clown'll pull it outta thin air and we'll all be like OHHHHHHH HOLY SHIT!!!!#yknow? yah?#plot twist: wally turns the entire world into puppets#i just!!! i just have thoughts!#thinking about WH ending gives me that specific bittersweet/nostalgia/dread/anticipation emotion combo i still cant name#i have to shake myself by the shoulders and screech You Have Literal Fucking Years Before It Ends. Probably. Shut The Fuck Up And Vibe.#unfortunately my brain is Incapable of shutting up and i have the compulsive need to guess the ending of everything i watch/read/enjoy#welcome home theory#welcome home speculation#honestly thinking about that last option makes me so emotional#bc it is what they deserve. they were constantly Observed and Watched and theyre still being Watched and they deserve peace and freedom#BUT AGAIN WHO KNOWS!!! WE DONT KNOW HOW THIS STORY IS GONNA UNFOLD!#what twists and turns and Developments and Evolutions it'll take#i need to chill. i need to calm down about this project. i need to go camping for a week with not a hint of cell service#i need to be on a train north. please. please-
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#ive literlly tried everything i laid down on the floor i cleared allm#my tabs ive cleaned my desk i drank water#WHY IT NO DO#I WAS LITERALLY FINE UNTIL READING WEEK STARTED WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GRIND#I know we shouldnt praise grind work culture but this is different i am literally in hell#spewing random shit out ofmy mouth hoping that will get it out. AND THE FURNAE IS GETTIJG FIXED THERES A WEIRDSMELL IN MY ROOM#cant i just open my head and shake it around a few times until soimething happens i hate it here#i want t draw but i also have to do my group project but i also have to do my coding project which i hate but i also h#also fuck group projects i like my teammates theyre cool but i dont want to drag them down just because my brain doesn work with me half th#time#even right now as im typing this out will not solve anything bro im literally gnna stare at this for a good 5 minutes and then do something#that is still NOT WORK#yapping#vent#idk if this is vent im just very very angry at myself
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#im just soooooooooooooooo over my job. ive got this serious burnout i cant shake#not to mention my coworkers and i do not jive. we are absolutely not the same people#like i dont mean to blame it all on the autism and my avoidant tendencies but it is literally so distressing how much they expect us to talk#its a remote job!!! let me quietly do good work!!#and then theyre all buddy buddy with one another and i feel very much like. not one of them and it is just as if not more distressing!#like im boring and do not have a life!! please do not expect me to have something to say!#which like its whatever its just a job and everything but its actually also my only source of socialization bc i do not have a life!#sorry i havent seen my therapist in a while.#delete later
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Night shift or short attention span for the wip thing?
I’ll choose night shift basically Akihiko has this nightmare based on a real memory where he and Shinji got into a very heated fight that dissolved into like, chaos and angry beatings on Akihiko’s part and his nightmare is a warped version where he just keeps punching Shinji in a blind rage until there’s nothing left of him. He wakes up terrified and unsure of what’s happening and Shinji isn’t there BUT ITS OKAY HES FINE he’s just at work I think sadly unfortunately my man has to work a shitty convenience store job to make some money while trying to figure life out and he’s temporarily working night shifts so that’s why he’s gone and Aki does call him at work in the middle of the night for reassurance and asks if that incident really went down the way he remembers it (it didn’t). It’s kinda dark but has a nice ending at least
#ask#idk if ill ever like. finish and post that one hm#but what triggered this idea was like. the pain of a loved one crying and screaming over you but all you can do is sit there unfeeling#akihiko was mad at how removed shinji has become and how he just doesnt seem to care about anything anymore and its very upsetting#and aki gets really emotional and theyre fighting and hes crying and shaking but shinji isnt fighting back hes just letting it happen#hes just lying there and seeing his friend on top of him sobbing doesnt seem to affect him in any way cuz hes so emotionless#and akihiko just gets more mad at that and thats what causes him to freak out cuz why isnt shinji fighting back anymore#and then you know in the nightmare its warped with guilt and fear and ends with aki being so caught up in his reactions#that he doesnt notice how hes hurt shinji and its too late and hes killed him#cuz id say once everything settles down post canon theres a lot of lingering anxiety about everything#aki fears that he pushed too hard and drove shinji away and didnt notice his pain until it was too late#but when he calls shinji to get the real story it obviously isnt how aki remembers cuz he first off didnt kill shinji#what really happened was akihiko was sobbing and kinda just swinging haphazardly everywhere and landed some hits on shinji but not enough to#really fuck him up and it ends with him giving up and laying on top of shinji crying#shinji kinda awkwardly embraces him cuz what else can he do when he still cant feel anything but hates to see his friend upset#so the actual incident wasnt very pretty or happy but they made it out alive and are working things out now#very bittersweet very angsty shinji is so goddamn emotionally repressed i mean they both are actually#also on a lighter note shinji was just like on the phone with his bf during his shift and aki is like wait are you slacking off#and shinji is like bitch you literally called me??? and who cares id like to see these bitches try and fire me 😤#hes behind the register in a stupid uniform while horrible music plays theres like one customer there#theyre making direct eye contact the entire phone call
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Look at me. LOOK at me. Old growth forests are important. Their loss is violence against the land.
BUT that isn’t a reason to point at younger, perfectly healthy closed canopy forests and claim they’re ecologically insignificant or bad. Their sparse understory is a function of closed canopy forests. Even old growth forests will have sparse understories if the canopy is closed. That’s how photosynthetic strata works.
The west coast has vastly different forests and history than the east. The rare volcanic eruption that made the giant stands of Douglas fir in the west possible would be literally impossible here. Our species are adapted for stand replacing fires set by indigenous peoples to drive deer and rejuvenate oak. Oak as a genus is dying here. We can’t set fires. We can’t harvest patches large enough to simulate a fire. Our deer are overpopulated and browse down every sprout that dares to reach for sunlight.
Making a sweeping ban on clear-cut and similarly ‘scary’ harvests would kill them for good. The restrictions on fire have nearly done that to species like Jack and pitch pine that rely heavily on fire to establish. They’ve been relegated to pine barrens and the rare sandy forest clearing. Our fire Cherry, thankfully, can last decades in the soil seedbank. You can only see them the first few decades after a large, complete harvest and then they die.
What’s good for one forest kills another. Not all trees are made ecologically equal - and that’s a very good thing. All trees and forests have their ecological value. Management of one forest is never applicable to other forests; they all have their own unique histories and communities that should be imitated when possible and left alone when not.
#ra speaks#personal#forest#forestry#I wanna agree w old growth forest folks so bad but then they turn around and say shit like ‘there is NEVER a good reason to clearcut’#babes the kirt warbler would like to argue. bitches need 10-15 ft Jack pine to nest in. they’re picky.#you ain’t getting 10-15 ft Jack pine without a large. stand replacing. disturbance.#*shaking Californians by the shoulders* THERE IS MORE FOREST TO THE WORLD THAN DOUGLAS FIR. WHY ARENT YOU PROTECTING THE CLIFFSIDE CEDARS?#we have cedars on this coast that are OLD GROWTH. nobody but weird tree ppl seem to care bc THEYRE UGLY AF AND SMALL.#that doesn’t mean they’re ‘not old growth’#gosh do NOT even get me started on the semantics of old growth#and like. yeah we can’t replace old growth in the west BUT NOT BC PLANTATIONS HAVE A HARVEST SCHEDULE.#it’s because the original old growth only exists bc a VOLCANIC ERUPTION wiped out most everything else and laid a nice bed of ash#for the seedlings to establish in. id rather a shitty plantation keep a 50-60 ur harvest schedule on a single piece of land#than have them slowly chip away at literally irreplaceable trees in the name of#‘sustainable forestry’ babe there is no sustaining the western old growth. either a volcano decides to give it a fresh start or not#I hate hate hate the eternal-ness ppl have attached to forests they are not here for you they aren’t even here for species that rely on them#they’re here bc a long time ago nothing else was. they’re here bc the soil was just right. they’re here bc the people before respected that#but also understood their power to shape the landscape. and in doing so they created diversity rarely seen this far north.#sorry. it’s been a day. needed a good rant.
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literally what the fuck is in the air lately ive had three guys being weird at me within the past three weeks. thats one guy a week. Stop fucking being weird
#coworker situation resolved itself i think hes just Like That#we’ve been casually texting now and everythings normal its fine#other guy who asked me out to get sushi together. i ghosted him. Lmao#like bro ive only talked to you like … four times you are not getting me to a secondary location#and NOWWW#AT MY INTERNSHIPPPP#im huffing and puffing doing manual labor unloading boxes and shit#and custodial does Not pick up when i call them to perhaps come down to help me out#so i gotta do it all by myself i get a cart load it full of empty boxes and im like man i gotta go toss em all individually into the#dumpster now but lo and behold i get to the loading deck where the dumpster is theres a group of grown men#theyre all doing their own thang theres a bunch of box trucks theyre waiting on and they all turn to me when i open the door#im like. Hi. dont mind me i just gotta toss these boxes in the dumpster#two of the men approach me and just literally grab the entire damn cart itself and shake it out over the dumpster#like oh. Okay#i was like hey thank you so much !!! i literally dont know who you are but thanks for helping out !!#and i have so many empty boxes i need to do this two more times#so i open the door and just one of the original men shakes it out over the dumpster again#and i was like profusly thanking him cuz im like do you even work here like who are you thank you for doing my manual labor?? 😭😭#and so as im ducking out to get the last round of boxes the man says like hey only for you#and im like. in my head im like ??? but im like whatever. moving on.#so i bring out the last round of boxes and im like hey thank you so much for doing this have a great day#and he says something like i see you dont have a ring yet#LIKE WHAT#BACK UP !!! WHAT#IM ONLY 22 YOURE LIKE A WHOLE ASS 35 BACK UP !!!!!!!!!!#so i just say Hm! again and leave#like whenever these PEOPLE say weird shit to me i just say Hm!#CUZ LIKE. HUH?#what the fuck u want me to say that???#anyway thankfully tho this guy isnt a coworker so its literally just a passing rando i will never see again
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Generation X Epic Collection: Emplate's Revenge (2022)
this. has me SO fucked up. "every time i ask myself why we're doin' this, every time -- somethin' happens to remind me." and, like. it's really giving 'chicken or the egg.' is this school necessary to protect these kids from incidents like this, or are these incidents simply happening to them because they're at the school and training underneath the x-men, thereby exposing them at a much higher level to all the crazy fucking shit the x-men get involved in, but then that makes it seem like they NEED to be at the school to be protected even though it's actually putting them at more risk than if they weren't there??? GEE I WONDER.
#and like dont get me wrong obviously mutant kids who ARENT at the institute are still getting into trouble constantly.#and it really does seem to be a wager of which risk is more worthwhile. yknow. but. i really cannot ever shake this train of thought.#bc yes kids outside the institute/academy don't have the fallback of the x-men. of trained adult mutants. to help them. protect them.#but these trained adult mutants AREN'T protecting them. not completely. theyre still getting hurt and threatened CONSTANTLY.#kids should not be exposed to combat kids should not be training to become x-men you should not even PUT THE THOUGHT OF JOINING THE X-MEN#INTO THEIR MINDS!!! THEY ARE JUST CHILDREN!!!! THEY NEED TO GROW UP MORE BEFORE THEY EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT!!!!!#jubilee is THIRTEEN AND A HALF and they have yet to touch on how INSANE THAT IS.#she was running with the LITERAL ACTUAL ADULT X-MEN. AS A CHILD. IT'S LIKE???????? HELLO?????????#none of the kids are okay NONE of them are there is NO WAY these kids are mentally sound. start all the way at the fucking o5#and work your way down and it's just traumatized children all the way.#it just blows my mind that. like. this is not a thread that gets followed very often. like these kids should be SO fucked up. but then they#grow up and they become x-men and it's fine everything's cool#WHERE IS THE THERAPY???????#anyways.#everett thomas#jubilation lee#sean cassidy#summer's comic reading
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trying to be normal about across the spider-verse challenge (FAILED)
#literally have been losing my mind for almost an hour#how am i supposed to wait until june i feel insane#like im literally shaking irl over the confirmed characters and who knows who else appears that they aren’t revealing yet!!!#insomniac spiderman… mayday parker.. like are u kidding#theyre dangling everything i want in front me AND I CANT WATCH IT YET#.txt#marvel#spiderman#spiderverse#the first one is my favorite movie of all time man i am incapable of acting normally about this
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jesus christ why is anxiety like this
#literally shaking bc i told my coworker no to taking his shift today#and then literally shaking bc another coworker asked me if i can take his shifts on saturday and sunday#i told him that i can take sunday but im not gonna just be a yes man this early on#im probably overthinking and overanalysing the situation but as the new guy i dont want to be the guy who just says yes to everything#maybe theyre abusing my willingness to help out yknow#idk im just super anxious and im not used to these kind of people
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NEOPASS IS GOING TO CONNECT TO THIRD PARTY FAN SITES??? HELLO???
#MAJOR alarm bells lmfao#i feel like. i dont know how the legal ramifications actually shake out#but it always feels suuuuper sus when the Official Producers get too chummy with fan sites and have official ambassadors and stuff#most of my experience is in static media like shows or video games as opposed to something like this but#i feel like it has the potential to be toxic. promoting BNFs to canon status. something THEY can lord over smaller creators and also kind o#homogenizing the fan experience (in a way that has literally never been inclusive of my own fan experience. idk what it is about me (lie))#but anyway props to jellyneo for opting out. the nft fiasco was not too long ago and it's wild that theyre trying this#and maybe im being very cynical!!! but it feels like a preemptive measure in case they try some fucked shit later!!! to minimize retaliatio#the neopass still feels very blockchain-adjacent to me!!!!#why do we need to franchise-ify everything. why do we need Infinite Business Growth. just let fans be fans and not a source market researc
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Weirdest fricken cat in the whole wide world ❤️
#my cat charlie#hes so fricken weird man#has some real dog like traits but in a distinctively cat way#loves belly rubs (if he isnt playful he will literally just lay on his back and take it forever but if hes at all playful... watch out)#if you look at him and say any variation on 'hey Charlie silly boy' he will tuck his butt in and flop on down to roll on his belly#he loves finger puppets#i got one of those advent callenders a few years back and he fricken loves them#he would carry them around EVERYWHERE#the amount of times I had to take one out of the food bowl or the water fountain because he just dropped them there#and he would sit and lick them sometimes#right now theyre all disappeared whereever he hides shit but whenever we fish one out he goes bananas with it until it dissapears again#if he gets into the bathroom with me he will do everything in his power to climb into my pants and lay down#then start attacking my ankles so I have to kick off the pants until im done and then pick them up and shake him (gently) out#down through one of the leg holes cause he just lays there in my pants purring away#but he will bite onto them and not let go#the amount of clothes that now have big ass holes in them because he was laying on them or near them when i picked them up#and he grabbed on for dear life with his teeth#is an annoying amount#hes so cute though
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This one really obvious lip glance Mike does at the roller rink WASNT RANDOM.
When Will admits that El’s been lying to him, Mike calls bs, and then Will NUDGES HIM. He does it when he says “no listen to me” but his hand is offscreen. It’s very subtle but I swear u can literally see Mike shake like Will grabbed his arm and shook it a bit to get his attention.
That’s what that look was, it wasnt a completely random lip glance from Mike, it was cause Will shook him. Mike was defensive at first, calling bs, but then Will touches him and suddenly the defense is down and he believes him. His tone of voice completely changes and everything.
Something something Will has a tendency to nudge Mike like that during all their arguments where they aren’t seeing eye to eye and Mike is getting defensive. Something something Mike has picked up on that and now takes that as a sign that Will is being serious and he needs to slow down and listen to him. Something something theyre such a good team even when theyre arguing.
#byler#byler endgame#anti mileven#id put a gif of it but i cant find one#i might just be insane but i swear even wills arm makes it look like he nudged him#their dynamic is off the charts i cant even#will def just wanted to grab his shoulders and shake mikes brain cells into actually listening to him#but he settled for his arm#im also not totally sold that that was an actual lip glance#i think that couldve just been mike trying to reign in his train of thought#either way this still stands
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slim pickins
warnings; bad date? mentions of sex, cursing underage drinking and yes i meant for it to be written poorly i was trying to keep the humor of the album in the writing
masterlist | p. 2
no pressure tags; @murdockcastleslut @kimoralov3 @arkofblake
word count; 1911
summary; youre tired of not finding a decent guy who will treat you right and lay you right. at least not one you've known since you were kids. however you just cant help yourself. besides its slim pickins out here you take what you can get.
divider by @bernardsbendystraws
i wanna make one thing clear, when i say there are no good guys left i do not wanna hear about you and your boyfriend of three years that can cook and loves your mom.
thats exactly what im talking about maddie!!! i dont give two fucks that he took you to barnes and noble and bought you every book you wanted.
they are all taken. its plain and simple.
which is why even with a full roster, im stuck taking fucking zander, yes with a z, to my friends' kegger.
i mean yea hes cute. hes tall, built but not that gross kind of muscly. but if were being real i shouldve known better when he was joking about being a male stripper when hes a ginger.
and i can tell kie is judging me, rightfully so. her side eye is lethal. when i introduced him to everyone she asked him about his greta van fleet tee and he said he didn't even know it was a band.
needless to say pope had to drag her away.
after that incident i decided it was best if we tried to talk away from the rest of the group. boy was i wrong.
"so what do you like to drink? ill go grab us something," i offer trying to start the conversation, also avoiding the usual problem with taking a drink from men.
"im good with whatever"
i like to think im not a violent person, but im about to be.
"does a beer sound okay?" i ask him grabbing a twisted tea for me from the cooler.
"sure thing." god why is he acting like such a bitch? i should ask him if he's on his period.
i hand him the can, our fingers brush and its my final clue for the night that i am definitely not going home with him. no spark at all. hes done just about everything else to piss me off.
he did the thing where he licks his lips exaggeratingly looking me up and down, making a point to make sure i saw.
he walks so slow for being 6'3.
and finally he tried to mansplain my career to me. i'd had just enough when he opens his mouth again
"ew, you like twisted tea? who likes sweet tea?" his face contorted in disgust, it was about to contort from my fist breaking his goddamn nose if he keeps talking to me like this.
"we literally live in the south dude." my face could not make it any clearer i am so done with this guy.
"still, sweet tea is disgusting. im not kissing anyone that drinks that nasty shit."
"who said i wanted to kiss your nasty fucking mou-" i was interrupted by the sound of a very familiar giggle behind me as his arm wrapped around my shoulder, the smell of his deodorant and sea salt that cover his skin start to put you at ease.
jj was always there when you needed him, sometimes even when you didnt but right now you couldn't be more grateful. "im glad you found those mama i got em just for you. remembered theyre your favorite. right?"
and you wanna know the best part? zander is shaking already pissed off that jj is at my side. territorial i guess.
"you mind?" he asks him nodding his head at me like im not even there.
jj cant help but laugh at him "yea bud i do mind. she's hanging out with me tonight. have fun with your ipa dick." and with that he steers us off to where the rest of the pogues are.
but not before i can look over my shoulder and give the ginger an innocent smile and a shrug as if i had no control over the situation, when really id pick jj over anyone else.
"you owe me a big fat kiss mama," jj whispers in my ear walking us over to where our friends are standing, drinks in their hands laughing and chatting up a storm.
"in your dreams honey."
"every night all night," he quips back before i shove him off me.
now before you give me shit, jj and i have had our fair share of fun, but unfortunately im starting to look for something more serious.
watching john b and sarah be disgusting together is getting to my head. popes got something going on with cleo and im starting to recognize the pattern. and before i know it everyone will be in love if i don't start making an effort in that department.
random casual hook ups aren't doing it anymore, especially considering they aren't even that good.
unless theyre with jj.
but hes not an option, theres too much drama. too much history. too much too much too much. im not what he needs and i know for a fact he doesn't want me in that sense.
is that a bit dramatic? probably.
i mean hes a great lay, he's hilarious, he's got that blue collar kind of muscle, and he genuinely cares about me.
so of course im not going to date him, why would i?
what do you mean make good decisions? id rather do things in the most difficult way possible!
"y/n youve gotta stop giving those guys a chance, im starting to feel bad for you."
"you try finding a decent guy in a ten mile radius." i glare at him, obviously not wanting to joke about this right now.
he sticks his hand out in front of me, "fine i will. let me see your phone."
curious to see what he will do i hand it too him unlocked, he swipes and taps for a few moments, smiling down at the phone before handing it back to you.
when you look back down at the screen all you see is your instagram open with his stupid fucking smiley face on the screen.
he took a picture of himself and posted to my story. written on the screen in bubble letters in my favorite colored heart 'my favorite guy <3'
"i think he's your best bet." that same smile facing back at me now, cockier than ever. so smug i wanna kiss it off his face
i cant help but roll my eyes. "jj im serious! at this rate im going to die alone. every decent guy is taken or unavailable. all i want is someone funny, kind, and attractive is that too much to ask for?"
"im right in front of you mama you dont gotta look far."
"jj we both know we're not the serious kind of relationship im talking about."
"you can think what you want too but ill be here waiting for that kiss you owe me."
"i think all that tequila youve been sipping has gone to your head maybank."
he stands in front of me, taking his signature red cap off his head and putting it on mine smiling down at me, "what do they say in those books you read? you wear the hat you ride the cowboy?"
"this no ten gallon hat and you are no cowboy."
we laugh at each other, its always been easier to do that then actually talk about our feelings. so i put his hat back on his head, backwards the way he i likes it.
"cmon y/n/n, have a few more drinks, relax and hang out and ill make you feel all better later yea? its what im best at, you know."
"its gonna take more than a few more teas to convince me jj"
"what about that thing you like that i do with my tongue, huh mama? doesnt that sound pretty good right now? i think it does."
"i give you one fucking compliment and it goes straight to your head."
"technically its about my head so that makes perfect sense," he hands me another can with that stupid signature smirk of his and his stupid sexy hat backwards. i hate to admit it's working on me.
just like it does every other time.
i squint my eyes at him taking the can, rolling the idea around in my head. "fuck it. its not like anyone else is offering," i take a big sip of my drink.
jj pumps his fist in the air like a victorious idiot giving a few woots and hollars before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder despite my wishes.
"jb!!" he shouts turning around to face him, "we're headed out!"
john b looks at the two of us shaking his head at how im kicking my feet to wiggle out of jjs oddly strong grip. "make sure you change the sheets when youre done!"
oh my god he did not just say that. "fuck both of you!"
jj just laughs carrying you back to the chateau like a kid who's excited to use a brand new birthday present.
"what happened to letting me have a few more drinks before we left??"
"youre just too irresistable mama, gotta have you now,' he gives my ass a light slap for good measure causing me to roll my eyes for the 600th time tonight.
"are you gonna put me down now?"
he pretends to look like hes thinking about it, "i guess. only so i can watch you walk away," he does as he says helping me get my feet on the ground.
"youre a pervert."
"no im flirtatious, and you love it, you know it makes you blush i see it. now go on and give me a lil walk yea?"
oh im gonna kill him...
oh wait! im gonna kill him!
"okay... fine. but no touching until we get home," i smile walking away exactly like he asked, but i know behind me he is a puddle of mud. standing still, about to start begging me to let him.
he finally catches up after a few seconds "mama please- cmon thats not fair. you look too good in those shorts you know i cant wait that long. just wanna feel you."
i cant help but giggle at his words, its honestly adorable how mopey he gets. like i just kicked his puppy or something.
"hands of jj i mean it... not until that door shuts behind us."
it didn't really matter that i can see the chateau or that ill be there in literally a minute.
its actually painful for jj to not be able to touch me as he pleases.
i turn around to face him with a cheeky smile. "you want me maybank?"
and of course he nods so hard it looks like his head is going to fall right off.
"come and get me," running towards the house, i can see the moment when his reflexes kick in, his boots thudding against the ground as he gains on me.
just before i can make it to the poarch jj wraps his arms around me, lifting me a few inches off the ground and spinning me around in a fit of laughter.
"okay! okay okay okay you win- you got me."
"oh ive got you mama, and im havin you for the rest of the fucking night," he presses a kiss to my neck hauling me inside, the screen door slamming shut after us.
am i gonna regret this tomorrow? most likely.
but what can i say? its slim pickins in this part of town.
#jj maybank#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x gn!reader#outer banks x reader#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank fics#outerbanks x reader#outerbanks fics#my writing <3#short n sweet#short and sweet#fic recs <3#mama needs her jj#jj maybank need you by my side
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pillow tpot headcanons (long ramble expanding on the ocd part under the cut)
ok so first warning: i am not a psychiatrist. this isnt a super educated essay on ocd, just me projecting my lived experience onto an object show character. this is just an observation. if i get something wrong feel free to correct me, ill add it here. (its also worth noting i am self diagnosed. not "quick google search" self dx though, ive gone over it with a therapist and everything)
and that leads into the second warning: this ramble will get a tad bit personal sorryyyy
and finally the third warning: i put she/it on the ref but im just using she/her for simplicity (+ i forgot LOL(
anyway so yeah i think that pillow has ocd and is basically the embodiment of "letting intrusive thoughts win" except like. actually. this headcanon didnt stem from the killing or the strange impulses though, i think she has it because of her fixation on good and bad luck in tpot 10.
for me it manifests in a few different ways. my main one is counting—i have good luck numbers and bad luck numbers. i need to take a specific number of snacks every time i have a bowl of them. i have to shake medicine bottles a certain amount of times before taking them. i am always counting the "syllables" of whatever im doing, and it always has to land on a multiple/factor of my lucky number. and if i break any of this, i (generally, if i cant convince myself its fine or if i dont notice) have to count to my lucky number otherwise something bad will happen. hell, i added more flags to this ref because the number of them was my unlucky number.
i have a few other things that affect it that are completely unrelated to counting, though. like a particularly bad one is that i straight up cant wear certain articles or clothing anymore because theyre bad luck. or my ungodly long night routine (which is probably more of an autism thing tbh. but certain parts of it are absolutely influenced by the ocd, like having to say goodnight to my dog).
that ^^ is what i saw in pillow. she was distraught that her team lost in 9, because not only did she think she was doing the challenge right, but killing people (bringing death) was good luck for her.
i think her killing people was a compulsion, and her whole thing in 10 was her scrambling to find a new one after that stopped working.
and before anyone tries to be all like "oh thats fucked up why would they portray ocd like that," one: i dont think this was on purpose this was just an observation, two: i mean..... fuck dude if i lived in a world where revival was incredibly accessible and one of my compulsions were to kill people, id do the same thing. death is fairly normal in bfdi, to the point everyone literally has a kill count on the fandom wiki (hers is 13 as of tpot 11 btw, a commonly unlucky number ironically enough. if she gets eliminated in 12 with an unlucky kill count thatd be so funny). once they get past the pain, its. really just an inconvenience to them.
when it comes to ocd, you. HAVE to do these things. its not a choice until you can get some outside help with it, and oftentimes its an inconvenience to those around you. i dont think its right for her to be going around killing her team, but when i get past the fact that is literally what made her my favorite, i get where shes coming from. shes trying to help in a way she "knows" will work.
or maybe shes just silly idk
#art#artists on tumblr#bfdi#bfb#tpot#battle for dream island#battle for bfdi#the power of two#pillow tpot#tpot pillow#bfdi pillow#pillow bfdi#bfb pillow#pillow bfb#bfdi tpot#object shows#object show community#soooo scared to post this
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thinking so long and hard about joyness once more…like yesss they are very cute and sweet and all but i think them getting together even after their History is sooo interesting. like, does joy first start hanging out around sadness and talking with her more often out of guilt? is it performative? when does it stop being performative?? and at what point does joy realize it’s stopped being performative? how does joy feel when every single interaction she has with sadness after the events of the first movie are just like…constant reminders of how she screwed up with her prior? liking someone who makes her feel that bad when she normally never lingers on what she's done wrong just seems so counterintuitive (fun fact: joy has literally never genuinely apologized for anything she's done, across both movies. she's acknowledged and fixed her mistakes before, sure, but she has never expressed guilt so straightforwardly like that. is she simply incapable of it? or has she just...never given importance to feeling guilty before so long as she can just Fix her mistake? just something very interesting i've noticed...)!!
like, joy’s canonically admitted that she’s literally tried to kick sadness out of headquarters before. that’s truly how little joy thought of her before she got to know her better…she totally would have been fine with just. never seeing her again. imagine disliking your coworker THAT much since the very first day you met her and now you have feelings for her…?! not a possibility joy ever would have considered, and i think joy would struggle a Lot with coming to terms with that initially. she is the Queen of cognitive dissonance. of being Delusional. it’s HARD to shake off old habits just like that!! joy is someone who very much doesn’t fully acknowledge how she feels until it gets so intense it bubbles up to the surface and breaks through her usual demeanor (we’ve seen that both with how she’s gotten sad and angry before…who’s to say romance would not be the same. i think she’d just keep denying it until she just. has an Ah Shit moment with sadness one day. probably over something completely mundane).
and it certainly doesn’t help that sadness is, well. Sadness! she clearly admires joy from the very beginning even when joy treated her so poorly (knowing her she probably thought she deserved it…sigh). she’d literally just assume absolutely nothing would come out of her feelings. and you know she probably might even romanticize and Enjoy it in a weird way…i mean think about it. she canonically likes sad romance novels…this is her own "tragic romance" (apparently. SUPPOSEDLY) so i think she’d kind of insistently cling to that. define their entire relationship as unrequited and reallyyy lean into it and warp anything that happens otherwise to fit her little Doomed Yuri vision. she's observant as hell for pretty much everything, normally, but she just has goddamn Horse Blinders on for just this one thing specifically.
she’s just completely unaware of how fundamentally she’s changed joy and shattered her entire worldview (meanwhile joy is just busy having a whole crisis about exactly that). and NOW she has to deal with actually being treated like she matters, both by joy and the other emotions?? helloooo? she’s definitely got a lot to process by this point because Her entire way of living has changed too now in an entirely different direction.
AND then you add to that how it's pretty clear that sadness knows joy pretty well, but joy still has a Lot to learn about sadness because she never gave her a chance before...very much a recipe for guilt and confusion and miscommunication and other such weird occurrences to arise.
BASICALLY tldr theyre both kind of idiots and i think their dynamic is a little more complicated than people give it credit for. joyness is a veryyy. She fell first (sadness) she fell harder (joy) type of dynamic. To Me.
#nebposting#IS ANY OF THIS COHERENT. PROBABLY NOT BUT THAT'S FINE.#adding this to the long list of thigns i wanna draw out eventually. chanting to myself IM NORMAL IM NORMAL IM NORMAL#SORRY TJEYRE JUST. SO INTERESTING....opposites attract trope sure but opposites also. KINDA fundamentally clash!!#ugh been obsessed with them for 9 years atp i feel crazy#.............#okay yknow what sure joyness tag could always use more posts LOL#joyness#joy x sadness#joy#sadness#<- those last two are for personal organizational purposes lol#side note i feel like i'm just. explaining my thought process for both of my fics so far pretty much HDJKHF.#i definitely had a lot of these thoughts floating around trying to write for them....
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