#literally only did her face right
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Cain Maryann the bighorner
Plus cringe selfshipping furry addition
#did i accidentally put way more effort into this drawing then the other furry fallout art because cains my oc?#maybe#maybe i did#literally only did her face right#i love bighorner cain#she calls to me at night#with sweet moos#low quality models made it hard to make out wtf their hooves (?) actually are#fallout oc#fallout art#art#a little zootopia abortion comci reference#how would they even have sex anyway#idk#i hope no one is reading this#ive gone insane#my art
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An interesting little fun thing with team 7 is that you assume that Sakura's gonna, like, woobify and simplify Sasuke by putting him on a pedastal,cause her goal is centered around him and shes a 12 y/o fangirl so like of course her understanding of him is skewed cause she doesnt see him as a person, just an object of affection, right? She's can't get Sasuke, can't imprint on and/or traumabond with him like Naruto and Kakashi do. They don't see him with rose tinted glasses, because they've lived through their own Horrors and empathize with Sasuke's experience.
......right?
WRONG lmao!! They have too many ghosts!! Naruto's single-minded codependent ass won't get out of his own way long enough to see Sasuke for who he actually is, only able to empathize with the parts of his trauma Naruto relates to and not really capable of understanding him outside of the context of himself (because Sasuke is. His other half). And Kakashi is far too jaded to be fair to him!! He can't decide if Sasuke is gonna end up as a mini-him or a mini-Obito or maybe a mini-Itachi, but either way he ALSO is too traumatized to see Sasuke AS SASUKE.
meanehile SAKURA'S autistic ass may have dogshit empathy, but you know what she does have? A special interest in sasuke. Nothing better to do then give herself a degree in Uchihaisms. She can write character studies about him. she can read his soul. Whenever she says something about him she is right. Every fucking time! She is RIGHT!!!!
'sasuke would NOT compliment me this directly or explicitly express worry unprompted, especially if it gets in the way of his goals' correct.
'Sasuke shouldn't hide that curse on his neck its not healthy BUT if I tell anyone about it he'll never trust me again, which might be even more dangerous for him then the curse mark. Like he can probably handle the curse mark but no one else can stop him from ripping peoples arms off.' correct.
Speaking of! 'Sasuke would not hurt me even when he seems to be...possessed? whatever the only way to knock him out of it is to present myself as Alive and thus something to be protected rather then something to be avenged, because he gets really stuck in his own head about revenge' CORRECT
'hey so um. like. Sasuke's gonna leave Konoha. I'm not sure anything can stop him at this point and honestly I'm kinda starting to doubt anything should, so the only thing I could possibly do to help him at this point is ALSO defect.' CORRECT!!!!
#shout out to @Obihoe cause this started as a tag comment on one of your posts that got WAY too out of hand. just like old times lol#team 7#haruno sakura#sakura haruno#sasuke uchiha#team crackhead#naruto#naruto uzumaki#sasusaku#doesn't have to be but like. Yeah#for the record no disrespect to my boys Naruto n Kakashi I love them dearly. but like. they got their issues. that's half the fun of team 7#And Sakura has her problems with Sasuke too!! But her problems have nothing to do with understand him or his motivations or his personhood#and more to do with. Well. her absolute dogshit empathy. Emotionally disregulated ass.#'if you leave me I'll feel just like you did when your parents died' My beloved. Iconic. Great line. No notes. She's really just still so#inexperienced and naive that means she can explain and predict and KNOW him and his actions but still not empathize. She can say shit#like that with a straight face because she's never FELT loss like this before (except that minute she thought he was dead on the bridge)#so she can't imagine a worse pain. Just assumes it can't GET worse because she has no emotional concept of 'worse'. so it must be the same#she's literally the only person with a chance of convincing Sasuke to take her with him to Orochimaru because he's SASUKE of course she#knows all the right pressure points and keywords and concerns and stuff that she needs to convince him.#she's literally playing a little diolouge tree game with him. And maybe even winning up until that line! it's the dealbreaker
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If Kipperlilly DOES end up betraying Porter/Jace as part of a secret other scheme she has (whether good or evil) and it has to do with saving Lucy, I just know she’s going to be a bitch about it and pull a ‘sorry, I only save High Five Heroes’ before leaving her other friends to die or some shit. And then she will take her final form: Magic Betty from Adventure Time, betraying her allies and saving her frost gf at the expense of the world. It would also parallel what Ankarna is going through (‘your girlfriend’s out of town, it sucks’, becoming a little imperialist rage machine under the influence of Porter/Sunstone but not being able to fully turn on Lucy despite going against her values and turning into a violent weirdo). This is my wish. My dream. I am manifesting it. Magic Betty Kipperlilly I believe in you.
#I am currently painting clown makeup on my face rn but this is what I’ve been rooting for from the beginning so let me dream#Come on though she HAS to have some other shit going on though right?#She was DEFINITLY in that temple when the Bad Kids said Ankarna’s name#Brennan literally rolled#and we know she was in Porter’s office#so WHY hadn’t she told him Ankarna’s real name yet? We know he genuinely believed Fig found it#Also the BKs couldn’t see who was in the window during the Wanda Childa scene#Which one of the RGs has invisibility?#HMMMM#Wanda saying ‘Kipperlilly? Why are you doing this? Is it because you’re jealous?’ before getting carried off by a fake Porter would let KP#know ‘okay they FULLY saw what happened after I killed Buddy and are onto us’ which would cause her to follow them to the temple#Also…if NONE of the Rat Grinders knew Ankarna’s name then what did Lucy write on her form to change her divinity???#We KNOW it was Ankarna’s name and not the ‘symbol representing her’ because no one could see it BECAUSE the god was dead and no one alive#knew her name#Which means Lucy HAD TO HAVE KNOWN and was keeping it from the others right?#And when she died and didn’t come back they were fucked because they couldn’t even check the form anymore#But#Brennan also said that if Porter WASNT using Devil’s Honey and genuinely believed in Rage And Conquest goddess Ankarna instead of just her#domain then he and his ritual would (maybe) bring her back instead of killing her permenantly so he can take her domain#And idk#A powerful goddess of rage and conquest who despite everything can’t be turned against her sister and ex#who’s resurrection would mean the rune could be broken and Lucy can come back to life#One who has (or had) a personal vendetta against at least one of the bad kids#and a personal vendetta against the people who led to Lucy’s death#that sounds pretty appealing to someone as spiteful and obsessive as Kipperlilly doesn’t it#especially after her best (maybe only real) friend died and didn’t come back#especially if she stayed dead specifically to stop Porter#Again I’m putting my clown makeup on but I don’t want her to be secretly good or anything just unhinged and gay and a parallel to Ankarna#Please world let me have this I’m on my knees#dimension 20
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It's really nice having a free housekeeping service thru my Medicaid but ever since my regular housekeeper that I had for a year (now friend) got promoted in March it's like every other person I've had fuckin hates disabled people
#there was one perso who would drive by my house to clock in (your location has to show that you're at the client's house) and leave#found out when i called and was like hey why has no one been showing up and the office was like it shows shes been clocking in there what??#apparently i wasn't the only one and she got fired#and then we had a woman who treated my shift like it was her break time#i mean she would sit at our table and eat a full meal and talk on the phone as loud as possible instead of cleaning#she'd clean for 20 minutes usually just dishes then spend the rest of the time eating or playing on her phone or on a phone call#she would put away WET TOWELS i mean they were more than just 'damp'#and once left a full unflushed shit in our toilet with shit stains on the toilet seat#i remember once she sat outside in our front yard on a phone call and when i went out there to ask what was going on#she was just like ''im on the phone'' and ignored me#i asked for her not to come back several times and they sent her 2 or 3 more times#and then i got a new lady who just straight up lies to my face#i give her a list of what i need done for the day and she will only do the dishes#then sit at our table and be like ''oh i got everything else done I'm just waiting on laundry''#and then I'd look to see that actually nothing else was done at all counters dirty floors dirty LAUNDRY NOT DONE#i confronted her last time#i was like ''hey I've asked for the bathroom to get done the past few times now and it hasn't been''#and she was like ''yes I did clean it'' so i wiped my hand across the sink and showed her the dust and grime stuck to my fingers#and then didn't clean it again that day. and said sat at the table saying she was waiting on laundry. and no laundry was done#and said she swept the living room which absolutely was not swept#bc I'd get out the vacuum and she'd be like ''oh i can just use the broom'' (on the carpet??)#I'd get the bathroom cleaning supplies out and she'd just put them away#and i dont mean that im being super picky about wanting things cleaned prefectly#or thaf she's ''not doing it right''#she's literally not doing it at all#i told my friend/ex housekeeper about this and she told me that every other person who's had her also asked for her not to come back#oop she's here. it's gonna be her last time i called the office and set it in stone this morning that she wont be coming back#.bdo
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I know it's been a few years since I've run my own dog training business instead of working for someone else for exploitation wages and that previously I was working in the rural south where prices are a bit different in general, but out of curiosity I decided to look at some dog training services in my area in upstate NY today and got hit with sticker shock ngl.
Most places don't post their prices so I could only compare a few (which... I sort of get since they want to avoid competition doing what I'm doing right now lol but as someone who has run a dog training business and had business marketing included in my education it's something I see as an... *interesting* choice, because most clients want to know price up front without having to contact you and wait for a response because they probably already have a budget in mind and just want to be able to quickly see if you fit into it or not, which means not having prices posted will make some potential clients immediately look elsewhere and if you don't even have some sort of price range for services posted somewhere then most of your calls and emails will just be people asking for pricing and a majority of those calls and emails will not lead to services purchased so it ends up wasting a lot of unpaid time on office work BUT THATS AN UNRELATED TOPIC, I DIGRESS) but WOWZA the ones that did have prices posted really made me realize I do NOT live in a low cost of living place anymore.
One of the popular places here that I looked at charges $150+ for ONE training session with one of their APPRENTICE trainers. It's double that price to train with one of their more experienced dog trainers for just one session.
I looked back at some of the trainers I was competing with back in FL and NC to compare as well as the dog training school I went to just to check and see if prices were getting that high in other rural areas, and nope. Most places $300 would still get you at least three - maybe up to six - private lessons spread out over three (or six, or whatever) weeks, which is the pricing range I'm used to seeing dog trainers in the rural south suffer with because of places like Petsmart setting the pricing bar so low.
I'm pretty sure I have more formal dog training education and certification than most of the employees at this place too since even their main "behaviorist" (not a protected title in the USA so anyone can call themselves that) has no certifications listed at all that I can find, so... I guess now that I live here if I ever start training again I'm going to have to rethink my pricing lol even if I don't charge those kinds of prices I clearly still need to bump them up in this area from what I used to charge in order to be competitive with these other training businesses.
#pricing too low compared to competition is a business killer btw#another think i learned in my marketing classes#most people buying dog training are wealthier#not necessarily rich but... not poor#and although id love to offer sliding scale for low income clients if i ever do training on my own again#your normal prices being too low WILL turn away those clients who are higher income#cuz EVEN IF IT'S NOT ACTUALLY TRUE higher class members of our society have a subconscious idea that price often = quality for services#I KNOW I KNOW I did not believe this either straight out of school and underpriced my services still anyway despite being taught that#because it did not make sense to my poor person brain to assume that wealthier people think like that#but i learned very quickly after having a couple of wealthier people literally LAUGH at my pricing#or make weird faces and say “that's it?'#the first dude who laughed at my pricing actually gave me a tip that doubled my price for his services every time i worked for him#and another regular of mine often left me envelopes of cash because she said she felt bad that i was charging so little#and that it actually made her second guess hiring me at first#SO JUST TAKE THE ADVICE AND CHARGE WHAT IS COMPETITIVE IN YOUR AREA AT LEAST INSTEAD OF TRYING TO UNDERCUT COMPETITION#or compete with the big chains DEAR GOD DO NOT TRY TO COMPETE WITH THE BIG TRAINING CHAINS PRICE WISE FOR YOUR OWN MENTAL HEALTH#you will burn yourself out and make yourself hate dog training if you try to compete at their exploitation prices#at the least price around what other people who are NOT working for chains in the area do#and ideally price what you think would make you feel like your time and labor is being adequately compensated#which means enough to afford to live and afford to pay for things like health insurance as an independent contractor#and have enough left over for some QOL stuff and to put some into savings for emergencies or slow periods for your work#a lot of people working with animals ridiculously undercharge and then end up screwing themselves over mentallt and physically#anyway this post and the tags are long enough and i could rant about pricing and fair wages forever so im done now lol#just reeling a little at the idea of charging $300 for a single dog training lesson and that PEOPLE HERE ARE PAYING THAT#THAT PLACE IS POPULAR AND SUCCESSFUL#they do not pay their trainers that much though lmfao they make only like $6 over minimum wage OF COURSE#which I know because I got into this pricing deep dive after seeing multiple of their job listings because they're hiring right now#i hate business owners that do pricing vs employee pay so differently like that they are honest to god EVIL that is exploitation
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people on the fanon wiki will just straight up announce that they haven't actually watched the show huh
#atla#azulaposting#''she wanted to steal the throne from him'' girl WHEN#when he got banished? which she had nothing to do with?#when she actively chose to give up the role of crown prince(ss) by bringing him back?#when he decided WITH NO INVOLVEMENT ON HER PART to commit treason and be a good guy?#he's the one who plotted to steal the throne from HER#y'know that whole ''let's go beat the shit outta my sister'' thing?#like azula didn't manipulate him into giving the throne to her he literally gave it up when he COMMITTED TREASON#AND ANNOUNCED THAT HE WAS COMMITTING TREASON TO HIS FATHER'S FACE#you think he wasn't disowned as fuck? he threw LIGHTNING (back) at the fire lord!#azula had literally nothing to do with anything concerning zuko's place in line for the throne except for when she brought him back#and then again when he decided he was going to be fire lord despite DEFINITELY no longer being eligible (bc. y'know. TREASON)#at no point did azula ever even imply she wanted to take the throne from zuko#she EXPECTED it would be hers bc HE LITERALLY WAS NOT THERE#first he got banished and then he fucked off of his own free will#neither time had anything to do with anything azula did#hell azula is the only living member of the royal family we meet in the series outside of flashbacks who DIDN'T conspire for the throne#iroh managed to conspire for the throne despite debatably having the most right to it out of everyone#granted it was on zuko's behalf but STILL#hell even in the character assassinations i mean the comics no i don't she's not conspiring for the throne#she's trying to push zuko back towards what she thinks is the ''right'' path#but she's not trying to take it for herself#the only time azula even seems to want the throne is when her dad tells her it's hers now and even then she'd clearly rather he keep it#bc that'd mean he'd be sticking around and she was kinda sick of getting abandoned by then#azula: *getting crowned as per the previous fire lord's orders*#and no the argument that ozai wasn't a legitimate fire lord is entirely invalidated by how unwilling iroh was to do shit about fuck#which ended up proving ozai right come to think of it#he WAS a better fire lord than iroh. bc he. y'know. actually did stuff#gah
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so i finished the teal mask dlc
#i'm not okay#i'm dead fucking serious i have never been so disquieted by a POKEMON GAME PLOT like this before and i don't like it#i'm so upset#look. LOOK. listen it has been established that the player's choices in pokemon do not actually matter outside of mild dialogue changes#i'm totally fine with pokemon moving towards more consequence-based stories#but if you're going to do that here then you NEED TO ACTUALLY /GIVE THE PLAYER A CHOICE/#THIS PLACE SUCKS I JUST CAME HERE FOR A GOOD TIME AND I'M FEELING SO ATTACKED RIGHT NOW ;;;;;;;;#FUCK YOU CARMINE I HATE YOU#I HATE YOU I HATE YOU#TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN AND I WILL DECK YOU IN THE FACE#YOU FORCED ME TO BE A BAD FRIEND TO THIS SWEET LITTLE BOY AND THEN WE TOOK AWAY HIS ONLY CHANCES AT FRIENDSHIP WITH ME /AND/ OGERPON#ABSOLUTELY HEINOUS#CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT#HE TRIED SO DAMN HARD THE ENTIRE TIME AND DID NOTHING WRONG AND I WILL /DIE ON THIS HILL/#I'M SORRY KIKI ;;;;_______;;;;#literally he had his completely justified joker moment at the end and my friend was like 'yeah sorry he's evil now' and I just paused#and then turned to her and said 'never love anything'#this is unrelated but if Iruma in M!IK ever turns actually evil like this at any point ever I am defenestrating my tv#i am SO tired and i am betrayed SO often CAN'T HAVE SHIT IN DETROIT ;;;;;;;#WHY CAN'T MY SWEET LITTLE GUYS JUST STAY SWEET LITTLE GUYS FOR ONCE#Kieran is my SON you can't DO THIS TO ME!!!!!!#also i would die for Ogerpon btw#she is my daughter and i love her#i want to squish her little face and hold her in my arms forever#i need a plush of her right the fuck now#if any of you villagers or tourists scare her or make her sad again i will cut you and that is a THREAT#my art#kind of lmao#pokemon
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I've decided to make my own post because I am not an idiot, but full disclosure that this post is 50% based on thoughts I was having while I was driving home from the auto repair shop yesterday and 50% a response to a post I saw just now that conflated "redemption arcs" (things fictional characters go through in fictional stories) with "community support" (things real life people offer to other real life people in real life) and how this relates to "fixing people" (making someone who mistreats or abuses themself or others not mistreat or abuse themself or others anymore).
Read my words very carefully.
In fiction, it is more than okay to like whatever type of toxic or fantastical relationship you want. If you like to read stories about toxic, codependent people who are absolutely horrible to one another and will never, ever change, you read those stories. If you like to read stories about a tortured man who just needs The Right Person to teach him to be better, and then he is, sometimes exclusively only to them though, then you read those stories. Sometimes you want to read stories where the main character says "I can fix him" and fails spectacularly, and sometimes you want to read stories where the main character says "I can fix him" and succeeds spectacularly, and either way, you read whatever stories you want, whatever makes you happy, I'm sure it's somewhere in this vast Archive that we call Our Own.
However, in real life?
First of all, "arcs" aren't things real life people have. An arc is something that has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Real life people don't have those, because our stories don't end until we die. Unlike a character, whose life presumably continues even after their story ends (except in circumstances where they die at the end but you know what I mean), we have to keep living day by day, with all the rises and falls that come with it. Now, this does not mean that a person cannot change, or that a person can't get better and learn from their mistakes; but it DOES mean that we can't have a "redemption arc" where we complete a checklist of story beats and then suddenly we're a better person who has experienced the necessary growth to be forgiven. First off, no amount of growth or change ever requires any victims to forgive. And second, that's just not how life works. That's not how change works. Change and growth are baby steps taken each day, and sometimes you go backwards, and you get angry with yourself, but then you pick yourself up and you try again the next day, and the next, and the next. It's an ongoing journey that does not end until you die. That's life.
But second and more importantly, the real idea that I think the original post was trying to get at, but missing the mark on was . . . okay.
So, the original OP of the post (and the person who replied to OP) got angry at the idea that the strawman they had invented (the person who had theoretically said "you can't fix him!") would deny support to someone who needs that help to grow and change as a person. The person who had replied in support of OP added that the strawman clearly believed in punitive justice over rehabilitative justice as well. On the surface, I can see where they are coming from. After all, on the whole humans are a social species and do need support networks in order to not only thrive, but survive. People such as drug addicts need support and assistance in order to get into better places in their lives, and the prison system has been proven to be far less effective at preventing repeated offenses than rehabilitative programs. This is all true.
However.
The reason why "you can't fix them" is still true, and needs to be said and understood particularly by those who are susceptible to falling into abusive relationships (e.g. people who have been abused before, particularly in childhood or adolescence) is because of free will. Specifically, the free will that each of us has, but specifically the other person. Person A can want so, so, so badly to "fix" Person B so that they stop being an abusive alcoholic 75% of the time. But if Person B doesn't actually want to stop being an abusive alcoholic (even if they say they do during the 25% of the time they aren't smacking Person A around), and refuses to put in the work that it takes to become sober and be a better person, then guess what? Nothing Person A does will ever make them be a sober, non-abusive partner. They will be unable to fix Person B. It doesn't matter how much time, energy, money, or commitment they pour into that person. It doesn't matter how much they genuinely, honestly, earnestly love them. Because unless Person B wants to change, and will put the work into doing so, then they will not change, and Person A, for their own health, safety, and sanity, needs to exit that relationship.
Now, does that mean that if, ten years down the line, Person B decides they are ready to put in the work to get their alcoholism under control, no one should help them? Of course not! They should absolutely be put in touch with sober counselors, support groups, medical professionals, friends and family who can help them. Person A could potentially forgive them, if Person A chooses. But that willingness to change and put in the work has to come from within Person B first.
I've been in the position where I've seen people in awful situations just tanking their lives, people I loved and cared about, people I begged to just listen to me and get help, only for them to not . . . and ultimately I had to accept that I couldn't fix them. I could be there to offer support when they were ready to fix themselves, but the core work that needed to be done had to come from within themselves. I couldn't provide that. Not because I was inadequate, not because I didn't love them, but because I couldn't force them to do anything they didn't want, or weren't ready, to do.
So at the end of the day, "you can't fix them" isn't about not giving support. It's about recognizing your limitations as a human being. It's about knowing that:
You cannot force someone to do something they do not want to do.
You cannot force someone to do something they are not ready to do.
Not being able to help or save someone is not a moral failing of yours.
Not being able to help or save someone does not mean you do not love or care about them.
Providing support should never come at risk of your own health and safety, physical or otherwise.
When you love someone, it can be really hard to accept this. You think, "I know I can make them want to try. I know I can inspire them to want to change. I know they love me, so if I just love them a little harder, they will want to change." Nine times out of ten, though, that is just not true. And if someone is abusing you, it is not worth the literal risk to your life to keep trying. You are worth more than that. You are more than just someone else's band-aid.
Keep yourselves safe in 2024.
#not an abuse scenario but: my mom died of covid-19#it's relevant to this discussion bc she was a trump-supporting republican who refused to get vaccinated#bc the far-right propaganda shows she watched told her the vaccine ''wasn't a real vaccine''#and i know this bc when i literally BEGGED MY PARENTS to get the vaccine my mother LAUGHED IN MY FACE and TOLD ME ''it's not a real vaccine#so anyway both my parents got it. my father almost died from it#my mom seemed like she was doing much better . . . except she CONTINUED to smoke heavily while both having covid#and recovering from covid#and once again i said hey don't you think you should not smoke cigarettes while recovering from a serious respiratory disease#and once again she laughed at me#anyway 2 months later her heart gave out in her sleep and she died#bc her body couldn't handle the stress of the cigarettes + alcohol (she was also an alcoholic) after covid had done its thing to her#she was only 56yo#so this was a case where i wanted to fix my mother. i tried so hard. and i've similarly tried to fix my father (who is still alive)#but i can't! my dad almost died and my mom DID die and my dad STILL won't get the vaccine#I HAVE BEGGED THIS MAN. WHO IS NOW 73. TO GET VACCINATED. AND HE STILL WILL NOT.#you can't fix people!!! you can't!!! you can offer them support if they want to fix themselves#you can help them fix themselves but you can't fix them. you just can't. no matter how much you love them#and in abuse cases it can be really fucking dangerous to keep trying.#anyway. that's my TED talk. thanks for attending or w/e it is they say
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1) Opens up drafts with my head empty, ready to be flooded, not knowing where I'll go. 2) 30 seconds later: Okay but I will go feral any day of my life over Perilous Trail, and the fierce dichotomy of Xiao and Yelan. While they're far from being 'the same', they both view themselves as soldiers in one way or another (it's a very difficult word to use for Yelan, so I'm using it very liberally and very loosely), they have both suffered losses on the 'battlefield' and carry the burden thereof in their own ways. And yet they stand so firmly in opposition throughout the entirety of that questline up until the very end of the 'the end of the line' conclusion of the quest. Yes, I know that she offers him her gratitude in its aftermath and it is genuine, but she still never agrees with him and the decision that he made moments earlier. It simply 'worked out' because of Zhongli's interference, he's the only reason it worked out. And it's because of that, that she doesn't give him a hell of a hard time (obviously she can't go down there, but imagine the inner frustration of severe extents; when you condemn someone who you can't even see anymore). In the same way that she would do to anyone who would sacrifice themselves for others, but in this case, I think it's 'beautiful' that it's to Xiao; the one who seems most adamant to do so (which honestly, fits into the contract that the Yakshas chose to sign with Morax; 'the ultimate sacrifice' to protect for Liyue; 'for Liyue', and Liyue has always centered itself around its people), the one who everyone reveres (and so does she, as she notes in her voiceline, 'if I ever have the honor to fight alongside') and respects for good reason, she stands against him, because in that moment, regardless of his status, he makes a call that she considers wrong. And he doesn't even... fight her on it very fiercely, and that's what actually hurts me the most, it's as if the following line hit the nail directly on the head?
"Besides, if you were really so determined to end it all, you wouldn't have given us the opportunity to share our opinions."
#[ mini study. ] that which hides inside her… that constant calling; it is the blood of heroes which has been howling for 500 years.#[ and then shortly after 'the point is: it's not time for drastic measures yet.' ]#[ /shakes ven into another dimension. ]#[ i thought the ost at the end of perilous ruined me enough. but tale of the yakshas may actually ruin me more. ]#[ also i love how i typed up the bit of the contract and 'for liyue' and zhongli in my head isn't rattling at bars but-- ]#[ he's sipping his tea (the equivalent). one day ven. i /promise/ you. one day you'll get him from me. ]#[ he'll likely be the 2nd genshin blog to run alongside yelan if/when i get to being able to run two again. ]#[ but until then. can we talk about the dynamic of xiao and yelan until we're blue in the face? i'd like to do that too. ]#[ i type this as if i'm perfectly chill but i'm not. i'm really not. the concept of self sacrifice and sacrifice as a whole. ]#[ BETWEEN THESE TWO. drives me /insane/. and part of me sits here and goes-- ]#[ god. what happened with yelan and her team down there? we know that despite every plan she ever made and prepared-- ]#[ their enemies (WHAT WERE YOU FIGHTING??) were too powerful and more specifically-- too smart. too calculating. ]#[ ... and too strong (okay literally what on earth were you fighting? are we talking the khaenri'ah soldiers? like what? or abyss mages?) ]#[ (but abyss mages don't exactly entirely fit the description in her story. ugh. UGH). ]#[ any way-- it was her and her team. /they/ all died and she didn't. yanfei describes it as... ]#[ 'knowing that your life was saved when others weren't'. surely the millilith didn't intervene or happen to arrive. yelan must've... ]#[ gotten away? or something? but that doesn't feel quite right. but i'm just sitting here left with the idea of... when you lead a team. ]#[ you bear the responsibility of even their lives. and yet despite bearing that responsibility; she's exactly the one who lived. ]#[ the only one who did. that has to be a /stupid/ burden. it's like the captain who has to go down with the ship but is the only one... ]#[ who gets to live. only one who gets to survive. i just. ]#[ i didn't think i'd love a character as much as this one. where did she come from; jesus christ. ]
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Fandom: Alias Relationships: Sark/Sydney Song: Spiracle by Flower Face Content warnings: Blood, death, violence, spiders, insects, flashing lights
#aliasedit#alias#sydney bristow#julian sark#sark x sydney#ssplus#fanvid#myedit#s/s dares to ask a question#what if your mother created a killing machine and that machine was obsessed with you BECAUSE it's your mother who made him.#like it's a part of his code your mother designed. or not code - but because he learned everything about the world by watching her.#like the only kind of humanity your mother allowed him - the only kind of humanity left after she was done with him - was this.#because it's the only kind of humanity she allowed to herself.#to not ever be completely sure if your mother ever loved you and then learn something like this?#what if your mother's killing machine grew up hearing stories about you.#what if your mother's killing machine looked up to you as a child and wanted to make your mother proud just like you did.#what if your mother's killing machine learned about your existence a full decade before the two of you met.#what if your mother's killing machine was conditioned to love you.#what if your mother on purpose designed her killing machine to be flawed. to have a weakness that shouldn't be there.#from her words all to protect you. and what if one day her plan backfired.#what if one day your mother's killing machine turned against your mother for you. turned against his creator for you.#what if your mother's secret plan worked A LITTLE BIT TOO WELL and she lost control over you both. what then. literally what then!!!!!!!#also i don't think we talk enough about that scene in conscious where in sydney's dream jack turns into sark's father.#what if i dreamed my father was your father. what if you said my mother was like your mother. what exactly does that make us.#and what if we also shared a name. what if a part of me - the part i feared the most - had your name.#while working on this realized also that i want a fic where every day for months sydney sees a ghost of someone sark killed.#it's always someone different. and at some point it starts to feel like it's never going to end.#the ghosts will be right there with her for the rest of her life. as always i just want#some sydney introspection and sydney grappling with the idea that her own mother turned a human being into THIS.#which goes along with facing the fact that it could have been her on his place.
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ive been thinking about the physical compatibility scene for like 24 hours. jesus christ. bisexual moment
#charlie hunnam is in literally nothing else i like so i can't speak to his other roles but my GOD does he do the fucking job#instead of being a tortured man ruled by vengeance who uses that feeling to constantly remind everyone of his pain and make it their proble#he does. the opposite. hi. hello? where am i#dont get me STARTED on rinko kikuchi.#i fucking love her honest assessment of him in the beginning to his face only to get like. humble acceptance/genuine hurt in return#and the look on her face of “fuck did i really just say that to him??” insane. insaaaaane#i wonder what she expected. probably something like chuck right. only to get the guy who learned from and deeply regrets his decisions#and has lbr wanted to die for the last 5 years#and getting his ass kicked in the most chemistry-filled fight in his entire life was enough for him to start changing his mind.#okay. Okay. Okay. I'm fine.
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made the krew with the same picrew as the gaang late last night (like 2 am 😬😬) (haha pickrew)
#literally just went in and remade mako so his background would match cause his was inversed#and i thought it wouldn't bother me and yet i just remade it so (there were no actual changes other than that so you didn't miss anything)#i gave asami a beauty mark in the same spot as mako but YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE IT#bolin literally looks just like him#i'm just so good (lemme stop)#i feel like korra would get into fights a lot so i gave her face scars#gave mako torso scars but you can only see the one on his neck cause clothes#gave bolin acne cause i can#asami just is so pretty and she always will be in any art style it's crazy#went with bob korra cause it's superior#bolin is the only one out of these two posts that has two white dots in his eyes cause it just fit him#dimpled bolin for the win#i did unfortunately spend the least time on mako IM SORRY#(back on my bolin is literally just him) like that IS his nose i-#gave asami glasses for the same reason as sokka she probably has so much eye strain and TO ME she has reading glasses in canon anyways#idk if she actually does obviously (i haven't read the comics...)#asami just like suki also canonically has colored lips at all times (i'm not wording this right) and it's so interesting to me#tlok#the legend of korra#korra#mako#bolin#asami#legend of korra#the krew
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A girl blocked me when I commentef I didnt like Gal Gadot anymore because she supported Israel.
#basically there was a video on tik tok about how Gal Gadot was not a good actor to play Wonder Woman#and this girl was defending her saying the movie was great and the actress was great too#I just commented#I like the movie and as an actress she did great#but I cant like Gal anymore after she supported Israel#the fucking nightmare after this comment#and after I pointed out it is not only a war but an actual genocide and ethnic cleasing#she literally answered 'ok 🤣' and said she prays for the end of the war and as an Israeli it would be obvious she would support israel#i have to learn how to shut my mouth#after that I told her that 'it was a shallow argument after everything that happend on palestine'#She still believe she was right and once again I told “still a shallow argument”#when she asked me to give MY argument back I explained what is genocide#why supporting the acts of gov who does this is wrong#i even explained what was genocide#and that gal is not ignorant she knows what is happening and still supports israel#I.HAVE.TO.LEARN.TO.KEEP.MY.MOUTH.SHUT#making this clear she laughed at my face#told me my argument was the shallow one#and that she wont criticize someone '×#'who prays for the end of the war'#and said that I dont even know what to criticize her for#and then#tadah#she blocked me#now I am feeling upset and guilty#since I didnt do anything wrong?#i am sad#juli rumbles#anyway#free palestine
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Judgement
#Emu does art#pov you will be dead very quickly#so here she’s sorta got the right side of her face shattered off#and the glow of her eyes is literally like her life force and a very liquidy organ#it runs from going between her eyes then a line down her neck to a huge cavity for it in her chest#but her face is the only spot it’s visible unless she’s screaming#this is a roughly 14 year old Avenday#so I probably should at least have drawn her wing covers#since she would still have those right now even if she couldn’t really use her wings then#but I forgot and also I’m tired#her whole body is covered in carapace armour like a slater#but on her face it’s white#and all of it takes a large amount of force to shatter it like that#she will survive this but it will feel very wrong while it heals#life force is not meant to touch open air like that#that one scene with her getting half her face shattered has been around basically since she had a skull#though not always with the life force thing#also the creature that did that gets eaten! By Avenday’s mom#who is a giant sea creature with twelve eyes and a big mouth#sorta like a long seal#like the indominus rex grabbed by mososaurus scene#the pov here is just one of the guys on the ground who is about to get a face full of antlers and die probably#rip#avenday can swim I want to mention#like a moose#but also after the cocoon thing she’s got gills along all her sides#they are pretty and I need to draw her at different stages of growth#also I keep forgetting her leg anatomy and her antlers change every single time I draw her#but she might as well change appearance like that in canon
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i turn 21 on monday and i just know im not going to enjoy this weekend at all...
#BIG vent in tags#the last two months have been honestly some of the worst of my life i am always always thinking about this rly shitty thing happened#and now i have to go home for my birthday weekend which i know i should be happy about and it is a good thing#but i just really dont want to go and i feel like a bad person for feeling that way#im doing better than someone i know and i need to go home and be there for them#i wanted to be in my apartment and relax with my friends#ive had 4 midterms this week and i am just exhausted with everything#and its not like it being my brithday will make my weekend bc thats literally impossible#and i feel so shitty about feeling this way bc im not the one who needs help right now and my bday shouldnt even be a priority in my family#bc we have bigger problems rn#but i still wish it was better. plus today sucked#i just am always awkward with people and i wish i was better at social stuff and ive felt rly lonely bc i only hve a few good friends#and trying to make friends is so impossible bc it seems like i keep doing the wrong thing and not being able to vibe with people#rn im just thankful for labs bc having constant lab partners are the only social interactions i get in almost all my classes#this girls would sit next to me in genetics and we would talk but i hvent seen them in a few weeks and i dont know their names#and im not great with faces so i cant even go up to them if i see them and i wouldnt even know what to say if i did#i see the same people in my classes but im sure they think im weird bc ive never talked with them but i always accidentally make eye contac#and one girl in 4/5 of my classes i sometimes talk with but i dont even know if she likes me and i acciendetnally made eye contact with her#while waiting for a lecture to start but then made no attemot to talk to her bc i thought itd be awkward and she probably thought i was#ignoring her#its just this week. its been so so shitty i dont know how to change thus
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Read the new sekai story. Not ok.
#rat rambles#sekai posting#I have my complaints but. not with the writing like holy shit#this was the most uncomfortable and scary sekai event Ive read and thats a high bar#its litterally so well written and also hply fuck is it physically painful to read#mafuyu's mom is so. slimy. and creepy. and manipulative. I fucking hate her. Im so scared for mafuyu#obviously theyll be ok eventually this is sekai but. things are probably abt to get rapidly worse for mafuyu#this is the breaking point Ive been waiting for. right now the cracks are simply expanding but soon things might get Rough#the wall mafuyu built between their two lives is wearing so thin and its fucking terrifying#its been literally so painful watching mafuyu trying to stop it and now having to face the incoming collapse when shes not ready#but she never will be ready. not as long as she still holds onto the desperate belief that her mother cares. that her mother loves her.#mafuyu is so fucking terrified rn its horrible to watch. I legitimately felt like crying. holy shit this event#now I will say. this was a great mafuyu event. why are they the fucking 2 star hello#I have mixed feelings on this as a kanade banner but even asside from that why the fuck is mafuyu the 2 star like wtf??#was it rly that important to have mizuki be one of the 4 stars??? did they rly need to be one of them????#like mizuki should have been the 2 star imo#if I had it my way itd be kanade mafuyu and kaito as the 4 stars ena as the 3 star and mizuki as the 2 star#ena and kaito could be swapped but since its kaitos intro I think he deserved it more#speaking of ena taking that 'the only one who can protect you is yourself' and running with it babeyyyyyy#adds that to my ena mommy issues arsonal (thats literally the only thing I have in there rip)#also the way you can feel everyone's development so strongly in this event#they still have a long way to go as individuals and a unit but theyve come so far from the start#mafuyu is in fact now most due for 25ji I think so. time to mentally prepare myself for the storm to come#I wont lie tho I am losing my mind over this event as a mafuyu fan but I am also disapointed in it as a kanade one#like dont get me wrong kanade has some rly good moments but. this does not sooth my worries abt the direction shes going#I just dont like that this was a kanade event about mafuyu. from the kanade fan perspective this was like one of the worst case scenarios#kanade desperately needs more stuff actually about her. Im scared she just straight up wont get it :(#so yeah. mixed feelings on this event from a kanade perspective but dear god is it good otherwise
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