#literally my biggest fear in life is that i wake up and while im still woozy i start saying my intrusive thoughts out loud | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

userholland · 3 years ago

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73 questions tag (2022 edition)

hi all ! so, i found this tag a few days ago and i did it back in 2020 so i thought it would be fun to bring it back (while also tagging some new people). sending love and hugs! <3

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? i think at least a 8. i'm almost done with college, it's close to my bday and im more optimistic these days.

describe yourself in a hashtag? #shesthatgirl

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? jake gyllenhaal what

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? "who's that girl? it's liz!"

what’s one thing people don’t know about you? still not a lot lmao

what’s your wake up ritual? read for fifteen minutes, get up and move my body, drink a glass of water and journal.

what’s your go to bed ritual? working out, usually stretching and i literally either go to bed at 11pm or 4am depends on the study sessions and writing that day.

what’s your favorite time of day? midnight or dawn!

your go to for having a good laugh? kpop try not to laugh videos/variety shows

dream country to visit? london or zurich

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? knowing that i have the capability of making friends when i feel socially awkward. i know its not a single surprise but i think quarantine really made me think that i have no friends and dont know how to be a functional human.

heels or flats/sneakers? sneakers!!!

vintage or new? new.

who do you want to write your obituary? my partner <3

style icon? jeon jungkook

what are three things you cannot live without? my laptop, my phone and journal

what’s one ingredient you put in everything? butter tbh

what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? princess diana, audrey hepburn and michelle yeoh. its a ladies night y'all

what’s your biggest fear in life? still trusting the wrong people

window or aisle seat? window!

what’s your current tv obsession? stranger things season 4 (y'all go watch it!)

favorite app? tiktok

secret talent? i can move my ears

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? probably traveling alone to mexico and wondering how i actually survived. i was 17 and knew nothing.

how would you define yourself in three words? sarcastic, introverted and quiet

favorite piece of clothing you own? xl t-shirts, sweats (black, grey and white)

a must have clothing item that everyone should have? white sneakers

a superpower you would want? invisibility

what’s inspiring you in life right now? my nonfictional books

best piece of advice you’ve received? “life is like a tree. there are many branches that are like our emotions. one branch for anger, another for happiness, another for sad, it goes on. they break off, they grow, it's all about perspective."

best advice you’d give your teenage self? don't try to grow up too fast. you take all the time in the world to heal from whoever or whatever hurt you. don't dye your hair, don't curse at your parents, and don't complain about how slow life feels. just be young, enjoy the moment and love yourself for who you are and not how others want you to be.

a book everyone should read? the switch by beth o'leary

what would you like to be remembered for? goofy as fuck

how do you define beauty? beauty is in everything and everyone. i think that everyone should feel beauty rather than search for it. your identity is yours and no one else can take that away. there is no standard in beauty except yourself!

what do you love most about your body? my freckles

best way to take a rest/decompress? listen to music

favorite place to view art? in a museum or traveling in a city

if your life was a song, what would the title be? screaming but sane

if you could master one instrument, what would it be? keyboard/piano

if you had a tattoo, where would it be? my whole left arm

dolphins or koalas? koalas

what’s your spirit animal? bunny or dolphin

best gift you’ve ever received? i dont want to say money but. money (for things i want to buy)

best gift you’ve given? i like giving people what they like or are interested in so, i dont think they're all the best but just memorable or caring.

what’s your favorite board game? sorry!

what’s your favorite color? still royal blue

least favorite color? dark orange/yellow

diamond or pearls? pearls

drugstore makeup or designer? drugstore makeup

blow-dry or air-dry? air-dry

pilates or yoga? pilates

coffee or tea? coffee or nothing

what’s the weirdest word in the english language? flabbergasted

dark chocolate or milk chocolate? NEITHER

stairs or elevators? stairs

summer or winter? summer

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? carbonara tteokbokki

a dessert you don’t like? anything almond. gross

a skill you’re working on mastering? journaling

best thing to happen to you today? i got to sleep in until 12:30

worst thing to happen to you today? i woke up tired lmao

best compliment you’ve ever received? “you look like the kind of a girl a celebrity would immediately hit on"

favorite smell? vanilla and coconut

hugs or kisses? hugs

if you made a documentary, would it be about? good food in new york

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? stranger things season 4, ep 4: dear billy. if you know, you know.

lipstick or lipgloss? lipgloss

sweet or savory? sweet

girl crush? jung hoyeon and sydney sweeney

how do you know your in love? when someone remembers the little things

a song you can listen to on repeat? born singer by bts

if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? hmm. probably kim namjoon

what are you most excited for about this time in your life? graduating!!! writing!!! working on my model portfolio!!! anything coming my way!!!

tagging some moots ⇢ @venomsilk @t-lostinworlds @honeyspidey @thollandsdarling @totheblood @lauras-collection @cindymooons @veryholland @seolaseoul @lovelytholland @httphollands @ptergwen @silkscream @silkholland @starksview

#73 questions #73 questions tag

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sapphic-sasuke · 3 years ago

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sorry to be obsessed with that one scene in lff. pov u discover death isn't an escape from hell ... to me the bodies u showed were like the silhouettes of this impalpable violation. the disconnect btwn the reader (not in fact part of this culture) and sasuke's cultural despair amplifies the narration as we see and understand these proxy injuries. if fugaku was hot before he certainly isn't now nor is his soul 🙄 anyways can't stop thinking abt it very iconic of you. also pov your own eyes are policing you FUCK danzo

AMARYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

i am just as obsessed with that scene, it’s my favourite thing ive ever written still. IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE IT AS MUCH AS I DO 💓

this is soooo gorgeous i feel this every time you make art for my fic but woooow this one’s so 💘💘💘 this ONE HITSSS

the way you showed the eyes watching him from above, it’s really inescapable, LITERALLY HELL, you own eyes policing you OMG RIGHT the subversion of eyes so revered by the uchihas from their religion and culture instead being used as a tool of fear and policing and shame is a theme i introduced from the very beginning of the fic. as with how sasuke as the sole survivor in and of itself is a subversion from a clan that values community and family, time and time again the vision of eyes symbolises his suffering and entrapment despite being his last connection to them, you got that so well here and i love you for it 🫶🏾

the way bodies are in those boxes it’s like how their souls are trapped by not being cremated, it’s so methodical while being so horrifying just like sharingan eyes trapped in jars that sasuke finds… and the way their poses are so zombie like too… an abomination. IM SOOOO IN LOVE WITH IT, i love how it’s all so dark too, like it’s in hiding bc it’s so unnatural, the worst sin, just . YEAHHH IT HITSSS

YOURE SO RIGHT it’s so much cultural despair, honestly i didn’t know if it was visceral enough while writing, despite sasuke’s avoidance of religion (but still inevitably returning to it time and time again) he still clings to culture and can’t part from it—even though he doesn’t have to as his only goal in life is to kill itachi and let the souls of his clan rest. this is the biggest violation, the biggest disservice done to his clan ever, i had to get that tone right just to emphasise *how* horrific it is.

FUGAKUSHDSJDJD LEAVE THE DILF ALONE

this artwork is soooo gorgeous i want to frame it and i love it so so so much thank you from the bottom of my heart for ur continued support 🫶🏾 and just being such a great friend too ILYSMMM *screaming* this was such a beautiful thing to wake up to 💓💓💓💕💖💞💞💞

#looking for forgiveness (i ran into your madness)#lff chapter 8 #me and amary share one braincell when it comes to this chapter #UR JUST LIKE ME FR #art #sasuke #asa’s fics #fic stuff #IM ALWAYS RAMBLING OVER UR ART I FEEL LIKE ITS INCOHERENT N GET SO EMBARRASSED HDJDFNDKFKD #but im soooo in love fr #ur mind is so galaxy brained #how how how #framing this #fav

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charawara · 2 months ago

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gehehehe. i think you all know what im obsessed with 🩷

guys i really do love her so much. i still remember the exact day and time i listened to it too it was january 20th 2024 at around 4:30 am and I REGRET NOT BEING AT THE PREMIERE SO BADDD... 😥 im still so sad about it like uggjgh WHY COUKDNT I BE TJERE??? i remember at first i was terrified of becoming like her but over time the song became a comfort for me because at the time i was in a relationshio that slowly became somewhat unhealthy due to my jealous tendencies, it comforted me all the way up until we went our separate ways and itll ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart for that. i love how the song itself sounds, i have kind of overlistened to it so it doesnt hit AS hard anymore but i adore the instrumental, everything. the lower chords are so amazing, i love the glitchy piano in the background too and the chords right before the chorus are amazing. i wish they were easier to hear, i love them. i find the glitchy vocals very satisfying to listen to aswell, and everytime i hear her voice i explode /pos i also have noticed some symbolism in the mv (i really like the mv. shes so pretty and i love watching it.) like how her hands shake, but shake more over time, or how theres lace in the corners (white lace i think), and how white lace symbolizes innocence which is what shes trying to be. i also like jow at the end theres a sunburst effect in the background (the stripes. youll knwo what im talking about if you watch it) which kind of puts thw focus on her and like. she wants the focus to be on her do you know what i mean? the slightly messy strands of hair too, theyre hard to see but theyre there. like i have noticed every little detail Ever its insane. i love the subtle changes in her facial expression too, and the way her collar makes her heart hands look like they have fangs too,, its all so fun to look at. i love how the lyrics can be taken multiple different ways, it could be a metaphor for her isolating the object of her affection ("plunge in the knife, consume this body" as a metaphor for her getting certain people away from her love) or it could be taken literally, as her killing/harming people. genuinely miss miseryguts means so much to me, i love her and the song dearly and hold it close to my heart. i dont find enjoyment out of many things, nor do i really do much in life, but this has given me a reason to keep going. the support ive gotten from everyone for selfshipping with her, even the dumb jokes about how much i like her, it actually makes me really happy. i was in denial that i even selfshipped with her for months because i was terrified of getting attacked, and yet i come out about it and all i recieve is support (even from RIP themselves to some extent, what made me go public abojt being a yume of her in the first place was me asking them on twitter if it was okay to selfship with her and they said YES. IT MADE MY QHOLE DAY. NY WHOLE WEEK MY WHOLE YEAR MY WHOLE LIFEEE.) i cannot emphasize enough how many nights i spent overcome with jealousy (because my ex was calling her friends while calling me or something and when) my stomach hurting because i was so upset, how much thus song comforted me. i remember pacing around my room listening to it those nights until i felt good enough to try talking again. this will never NOT be my favorite song, the character i love the most, i find so much comfort in it its insane. my selfship with her has brought me to be more productive too. i never thought i would write fanfiction, i never thought i would doodle as much as i do now, but guess what im doing now?? its so fun to make up lore of us together i honestly love it.. i love her ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡ my biggest fear is losing her in the sense that this fixation and attachment go away. i cant imagine not wanting to hug the pillow i have of her or not wanting to listen to the song or waking up and not smiling when i see the insane amount of pictures of her i have on my wall. even my PARENTS know about it, my mom teases me about her all the time and my dad walked into my room, saw my shrine and audibly said "What the fuck

oops paragraoh limit ANYWAYS my dad also looked up the lyrics and called it "essentially a breakup song" i..i think it might be a little more than that...idk though GAHAHA. i genuinely havent felt so in love with and attached to a character in so long, i really feel dedicated to her and love her dearly...sorry im mentally ill...gulp. speaking of that, one thing i dont like about this is how upset i get when i see people say gross things about her or ship other characters with her. its like a weird pit in my stomach forms and i get angry or upset like, "that should be ME" or "why would you look at my girlfriend in that way?!?!? you disgust me!" (sidenote. do not scroll to the very bottom of the miss miseryguts comment section on youtube. youre going to see gross creeps asking how old she is or sexualizing her it made me SO MAD.) its difficult but my friends always reassure me..i feel a little delusional but whatever. i find comfort in her and the hypothetical mutually obsessive toxic relationship we would have if she was real. i love her sosomuch really oh ny god. she looks like she would give the best hugs. i feel like she would struggle feeling empathy for me but would try to help me anyways. ive yapped about my headcanons here before havent i...

okay ive been typing for like. deadass fifteen minutes i think..?? ILL STOP NOW AAAHHH okay go my moots ur turn @vanillaaaaaaaaa3 @kai-akii @artemisthelandmine @toxetta UHH IDK WHO ELSE TO TAG ANYONE DO THIS IDK!!!!! bye now

tag game!! ^q^

how it works: get tagged. yap about current obsessions.

i'll go first!! >_<

okay so uhhh.. yi xi!!! i love her voice, her fan designs.. aghhh i love her

i also really like the train bitch (choo choo) and project on her sm... ( 〃▽〃) she is on SO MUCH MATH WORK ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY

last off... teeptum (tptm)!!! it's weird, i'm uncomfortable with myself recovering, but seeing these girls — whether i relate to them or not — overcome their struggles (^-^; maybe it's just nice to have hope... OH ALSO DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW WELL WRITTEN EACH GIRL IS!!! ITS GENUINELY SO GOOD. I UNDERSTAND WHY SO MANY PEOPLE RELATE TO AT LEAST ONE GIRL. (personally i relate to tahira (splitter) and nora (caliber) but also some elements of freyja (faneint)

TAGS!! @charawara (go ahead. yap about the blue mouthed freak) @lordofthealfies (go ahead. yap about lotf) @fishtheflowerchomper @luckyloser6 @wkfn14kt829j2nq @toothandfeather @fearofajmetalalbum @madilynlovesbsdfr

#i think im neurodivergent.

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ayatosmlktea · 5 years ago

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best boyfriend series | kirishima

A/N: So there is a list me and the gal pals have compiled of who we think are the best boyfriends in the entire world. I haven’t been in a thirsting mood for so long probably bc im mad ✨depressed✨ so the only thing on my mind is soft boys and how amazing they are. This is the most writing I've done in months but I wrote this for Bri’s birthday a while back and am now sharing them with you bc we could all use some wholesome kiripima

I wrote these as the thoughts came to my mind so...its not really organized ANYWAY enjoy!

- Your sense of humour and easy going personality is what draws him in even if he doesn’t realize it to be love in the beginning

- Even when he’s training with bakugou his eyes are always searching you out, the way you handle your quirk takes his breath away he just thinks you look so badass in combat

- Every time you ask if he wants to study together his heart starts racing so fast it feels like it’s going to burst out of his chest and he has to fight back the blush that burns the back of his neck and ears whenever you giggle

- As you and Mina become closer, you start hanging out more with the bakusquad.

- Kiri finds himself getting increasingly distracted by you, he notices every little thing like the way your eyes shine whenever you smile, the way cover your mouth when you laugh which bothers him because the entire world deserves to see how beautifully radiant you look when you’re happy

- He notices the way your body language changes when you’re tired, how your attitude gets a little grumpier when you’re hungry and through learning all of that Kiri steps in to make you whole

- When you’re tired he passes you his notes to copy after class just giving you a knowing smile and ignoring the way his heart flutters when you stare at him like he’s your knight in shining armour

- He doesn’t like the way that Denki and sero playfully flirt with you, it makes him feel weird although he knows he has no right to be jealous so he ignores it

- During your second year you start dating Shinsou and Kiri can feel his world come to a halt, his heart plummets into this stomach but he puts on a fake smile and tells you that he’s happy for you and he hopes Shinsou treats you right

- You don’t seem to notice the way the light in his eyes is gone, how much more time he puts into training now that you’re busy with your new relationship and as bitter and mad as he wants to be he knows you deserve to be happy, even if it isn’t with him so he pushes his feelings down and acts like he isn’t being punched in the gut every time you kiss shinsou and not him

- Your last night in the dorms before summer vacation Kirishima finds himself being woken up by a quick series of knocks on his door

“Denki I told you already pennywise is not under your be-” he stops mid sentence when he finds you outside of his door, sniffling with red rimmed eyes

- He’s barely awake and processing what’s happening as he opens his door wider so you can come inside before one of the teachers catches you out of bed and on the boys side of the dorms

- He can hear that you’ve been crying and are still trying not to when you apologize for waking him up so late but you didn’t know who else to go to and suddenly his entire body is burning with anger when you tell him that Shinsou broke up with you

- He can’t help but let out a broken laugh, Shinsou never deserved your heart in the first place. If he couldn’t see how dedicated you were to the people you loved, how you cared for your friends and put their needs above yours, how incredibly talented and hardworking and beautiful you were then he was the dumbest man alive

- You’re suddenly quiet and Kiri realizes that he’s said all of that outloud and the overwhelming urge to disappear consumes him. He was sure that you were going to get up and walk out and never speak to him again but you don’t

- Instead you ask if he means what he said so quietly he can barely hear it and despite how hot his cheeks are burning with embarrassment he tells you he does

- He stops you when you lean in to kiss him and his heart hurts when he can see the rejection and embarrassment paint your features but he tells you that it’s not because he doesn’t want to kiss you, because of course he wants to, but he doesn’t want to take advantage of your feelings when you’re going through an emotional time

- You two spend the summer hanging out- just as friends, he wants to give you time to get over Shinsou because the last thing he wants is to be your rebound

- But with every day that goes by he finds it harder not to kiss you, not to hold your hand, not to text you every second of the day, not to tell you that he loves you

- The realization that he loves you doesn’t scare him, but it is the first time he admits to himself and accepts it rather than trying to bury it and so after he walks you home and you turn to go into inside he grabs your wrist and pulls you in for a kiss

- It’s not the most coordinated kiss but it sets every nerve in his body on fire and you’re both clinging onto each other like it’s your only lifeline. You break apart with the biggest smiles on your face and in that moment Kiri knows he’s going to spend the rest of his life with you

‧͙⁺˚*·༓☾　　☽༓·*˚⁺‧͙

- Well i wasn’t planning to write all that so now let’s get into WHY he’s the best bf

He’s 100% devoted to you, literally you could be in a room full of fkn models and his eyes would be focused on you because he thinks you’re the most beautiful woman to walk the earth

Any other relationship you’ve had in the past does not even come close in comparison to how Kiri treats you

- He would give up his life to make sure you’re happy, seeing you upset breaks his heart because he cannot stand the sight of you crying. It literally tears a whole in his chest

- If it’s within his power to deal with, he will make sure that whoever hurts you does not make the same mistake again. Maybe its a little unethical to use his pro-hero status to strike fear into the heart of creeps who won’t leave you alone at work, or the girls who enjoy gossiping about your relationship behind your back but he does not give a single fuck

- Your happiness comes before his and if you aren’t happy, he’s not happy.

- If he hears people talking about your relationship and making it seem as though you’re only with him for the fame or money he’ll tear them down with the brightest smile on his face not missing a beat

- While he acts all big and scary fighting villains, when he comes home to you at the end of the day he is the most cuddly person you’ve ever known. It doesn’t matter how exhausted he is, he always grabs you in for a hug and doesn’t let you down until he’s satisfied.

- Kiri is really big on skin to skin contact, expect him to constantly be slipping his hands under your shirt and wrapping his arms around you at the most random times

- When you guys are getting ready to sleep he’ll pull you snug against his chest and bury his face in the nape of your neck,

Your scent helps him fall asleep, not in a creepy way but in a ‘you’re safe and here with me so i can close my eyes knowing that everything is okay’ kind of way.

‧͙⁺˚*·༓☾　　☽༓·*˚⁺‧͙

- In my humble opinion, once kiri catches feelings for you they’ll never fade

- Even if you fight, it only reminds him of everything you two have built together and that you’re worth fighting for

- You hear a lot of your friends complain about how their boyfriends never listen to them, or how they don’t know what they like, you watch them shamelessly flirt with other guys and wonder what it must be like to be in such an unsatisfying relationship

- Kiri knows you better than you know yourself, he’s so in tune with you and your body that you don’t even need to ask him to do anything, he just knows

- He remembers little dates that most boyfriends dont, your first kiss, your first date, the first time he said “i love you” outloud

- He also is the first one to say it and it happens when you’re just hanging out in his room

- He’s known that he’s been in love with you for months but didnt want to say it too soon and have you freak out but after nearly six months in it’s driving him crazy not being able to tell you he loves you

- When he does your eyes glisten with tears and he freaks out thinking that he’s said too soon until you’re crushing him in a hug and tell him that you love him too

- When you’ve had a bad day at work or life is just becoming too stressful for you to deal with he puts everything else on hold to comfort you

- Makes you your favourite meal for dinner, gets your favourite show ready to watch after your shower and massages your feet while you snack on some ice cream for dessert

- Ever since you’d started dating Kiri had a habit of “accidentally” forgetting his hoodies at your place, spraying them with a bit of extra cologne while you were in another room

- He loved it when you wore his clothes, it filled him with a feeling he couldn’t quite describe but it solidified in his mind that you were his

- After almost four years of dating he knows that he can’t spend another second without you being his, forever

- He stays up all night looking at engagement rings but none of them are good enough for you so he does a little more research and finds a place that makes custom rings and has the date the first time he kissed you engraved on the inside of the ring

- He 100% cries the second he sees you walk down the aisle, if he thought you were beautiful before, there’s nothing else that compares to you on your wedding day

- Everything else drowns out around him and the other thing that matters is you, sliding your rings onto each other fingers and sharing your tearful vows and then you’re pronounced husband and wife and his entire being is elated

- He kisses you with a passion and fervour you’ve never felt before, like he’s pouring his soul into the kiss , every promise he’s ever made and will make and all the things he can’t find the right words to say are transmitted

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justalitlecreacher · 4 years ago

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Ok as much as I hate the events of the Rako Hardeen arc in Clone Wars and deeply wish that the council/Obi-Wan had at the very least told Anakin and Ahsoka what they were planning, I feel like the arc represents a very important turning point in Anakin’s fall and actually shows an important bit of character growth from Attack of the Clones.

Tl;Dr: The Rako Hardeen arc is my favorite and least favorite arc in all of Clone Wars because while it puts Anakin through unnecessary pain it also gives a lot of insight into why he may have fallen in Revenge of the Sith and shows some important character growth

Ok; the most important part of this post/analysis (I think) is to remember how close Anakin and Obi-Wan are. Anakin was placed in Obi-Wan’s care at the age of 9 and from then on Obi-Wan practically raised him. In Attack of the Clones we see Anakin refer to Obi-Wan as the closest thing he has to a father not once, but twice, and one of those two times was directly to Obi-Wan.”OBI-WAN: Why do I think you are going to be the death of me?! ANAKIN: Don't say that Master... You're the closest thing I have to a father... I love you. I don't want to cause you pain.”(Attack of the Clones) and later to Padmé “...He's [Obi-Wan] like my father,...”. This is especially important because when Anakin leaves his mother to become a Jedi in The Phantom Menace, Obi-Wan is literally the only friendly/familiar face in the Temple. Plus in the comics (disclaimer: I have not read all the comics just bits and pieces) we get a glimpse of Anakin training with the other padawans and it’s made clear that at least some of them don’t like Anakin at all. One padawan even refers to him as “just a slave” when shit talking him during training.(which like super fucked up; they def should’ve gotten in trouble cause that don’t seem very Jedi of them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Anyway; we’ve established Anakin and Obi-Wan’s bond. So let’s turn our attention towards someone who deserved so much better; Shmi Skywalker. Her death in Attack of the Clones was the first major turning point in Anakin’s fall to the Dark Side. There is really no excuse for Anakin’s actions after Shmi’s death; he goes to a very dark place, and likely taps into the dark side of the force during the massacre of the Tusken Raiders. But that’s not what we’re talking about rn so back on track.

I bring Shmi’s death up to say that while Anakin was tracking down Obi-Wan’s “murderer” I didn’t fully realize that Obi-Wan had disguised himself as Hardeen and I was genuinely worried that Anakin was about to unalive an innocent man. I really believe that the only thing that stopped Anakin from trying (and maybe succeeding) to kill Obi/Rako was like he said: he knew that Obi-Wan wouldn’t have wanted him to. This is important because the last time Anakin lost a family member he brutally murdered an entire village of Tusken Raiders, children included, and I think it’s safe to say that Shmi “the biggest problem in the universe is nobody helps each other” Skywalker would not have wanted that. I’ve finally arrived at one of my main points; this arc shows a crucial bit of character growth by showing an Anakin that is capable of thinking his actions through and not just reacting out of anger even after the loss of one of the most important people in his life; something he was previously shown incapable of when his anger and grief blind him. This turns this arc into an sort of midway point on Anakin’s fall; he’s clearly tempted to give into his anger and pain again, but he is able to resist this time. A younger Anakin may have killed “Hardeen” then and there.

This scene really contrasts with Anakin’s actions in Revenge of the Sith in a way im not sure how i feel about yet. On one hand it has potential to make Anakin’s actions in Revenge of the Sith feel too out of character. We just saw Anakin able to see past his own emotions in the wake of the death of a loved one so what makes this different? On the other hand this arc can be used to show just how desperate Anakin is to not have to feel that way ever again. It’s also good for showing how much influence Palpatine has had on Anakin in the space between this arc and Revenge of the Sith. As for why Anakin may be unable to think past his own feelings in Revenge of the Sith when he appeared perfectly capable in the arc, a likely reason is that there really wasn't anything Anakin thought he could do for Obi-Wan anymore because he believed him to be dead, but with Padmé, Anakin knew she could be saved if he could just get her the proper care. But his fear of being exiled from the Jedi Order, and his increasing lack of faith in the council led him to believe that he had no choice other than to trust in Palpatine. And no hate to Yoda but im sure when Anakin did try to reach out (even as vaguely as he did) Yoda’s response of “Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” didn't appear to be very helpful (especially considering that he is well aware that listening to Ahsoka’s visions and responding appropriately saved Padmé’s life (not sure if Anakin knows about that though)). These three episodes show pretty well how/why Anakin may have felt that he had nowhere to turn but Palpatine.

These groups of episodes actually show negative character growth (is that the right term?) in Anakin. He goes from commiting mass murder rated E for everyone to understanding that his loved ones would not want him to seek revenge in this way, but then he backslides into this lightsaber is rated E for everyone by Revenge of the Sith. Logically he should know that Padmé would never have wanted him to do what he did; he has to know what he’s doing is wrong, but he’s incapable of seeing another way out because he cannot handle even the thought of losing Padmé. He’s too desperate to not lose her, and so sure that there’s no other option that he manages to convince himself that he needs to do this for her. I find this entire arc really interesting but unless i want to be here all day the most i can do here is point out that it exists and that it peaks in the Rako Hardeen arc. Surprisingly i do have a life outside of writing long posts, and i lack the time and energy to analyze all of Clone Wars and write about every event that led to Darth Vader (there are so many). On top of that i actually haven’t seen all of Clone Wars; just the episodes most important to understanding Anakin’s fall.

Onto my next point, we just talked about the growth Anakin showed in this episode; now onto why i believe that this arc was instrumental in Anakin’s fall. (Disclaimer: I do not think that removing this arc alone could have saved Anakin, but i do believe it would have helped a good bit). I’ve already touched on Anakin and Obi-Wan’s bond so im not gonna do that again.

Ive said it before and i will say it again; it was super fucked up of Obi-Wan and everyone else on the Council to use Anakin’s (and Ahsoka’s) reactions Obi-Wan’s “death” for their own gain. It was super manipulative and they absolutely knew what they were doing. Obi-Wan even explicitly says, “Keeping Anakin on the outside was critical. Everyone knows how close we are. It was his reaction that sold the sniper. I'm sure of it.”(Deception season 2 episode 15). He knows just how devastated Anakin would be by his death, and he uses like Anakin and his mental and emotional well-being mean nothing to him (I know this isn’t true but its probably not hard to believe that someone doesn't care about your feelings when they’ve just tricked you into thinking they’ve died for their own gain). The Council really proves time and time again that they do not care about Anakin’s (or maybe anyone’s; Anakin was far from the only one close to Obi-Wan left unaware of his deception) mental or emotional wellbeing, but tbh i think this is the worst example of how callous the Council can be. And on top of all of that it was Obi-Wan who decided to keep Anakin in the dark Obi-Wan who should have known better; if we assume that Anakin is at least 20 in Clone Wars; Obi-Wan has known Anakin for at least 10 years, and has practically raised him from the age of 9, and yet somehow, somehow he had this idea and didn't see a single thing wrong with it. (And they really picked the worst possible person for this; like yea let’s trick the most unstable Jedi we have into thinking his closest friend/ father figure was murdered)

This arc’s main purpose (IMO) is to really show the beginnings of Anakin losing faith in the Jedi and putting more and more faith in Palpatine. Anakin trusted Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan betrayed that trust. Beyond that Palpatine is able to make Anakin begin to doubt how much the Council is telling him if they didnt tell him something as crucial as this. We even see Anakin parroting Palpatine’s “concerns” of the council not telling Anakin the full truth the Obi-Wan and the end of the arc. This arc is instrumental is establishing Anakin’s loss of faith in the council and shows how much he trusts Palpatine and sees him as a real friend.

Anyway I’m sure I had more I wanted to touch onand if I remember I will definitely edit this post but for the now I just wanna say. A) I love Obi-Wan a lot; this arc just really was not it. I do not understand how he thought this was in any way acceptable but I do still really like him. B) i fully understand that Anakin’s actions are his own and he does take a share of the blame for his own fall.

#what am i doing?#anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #rako hardeen #star wars #clone wars #deception arc #clone wars deception #long post #ramble #im so sorry except im not #i hesitate to use the word hyperfixation but not a day has gone by that i havent thougt of Anakin Skywalker at least once #in so long #i have a problem

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ohsweetflips · 4 years ago

Note

I think Undyne's determination has less to do with like something that happened in the past and more like the overlap between determination as an actual physical thing VS a spiritual thing. Whereas the amalgamates were injected with determination by Alphys, Undyne makes her OWN. You've killed her best friend. You're going to kill the love of her life. You're going to kill her mentor. You're going to kill everyone. You've killed HER. But she still has to stop you. Everyone is counting on her 1/2

Undyne's whole motif is letting the monsters of the Underground achieve their hopes and dreams. Theres a reason she is the boss fight in Waterfall, the most backstory rich area in the game. Hope and dreams have just as much weight as determination does, its what helps you defeat Asriel. And Undyne the Undying's design mimics Asriel's because in Genocide SHE is the heroine, SHE is the determined hero that defies death in order to save everyone she loves via the hopes and dreams of everyone (2/2)

Sorry I just really fucking love Undyne Undertale fhfhfndkdk she willingly letting herself be used in an experiment to help her people is Very Good tho too hmmmm

!!!!

sorry ur abt to get a whole essay i love undertale so much.........

(also i use a lot of !!! for emphasis, not bc i’m yelling omg)

(also i’m letting you know this is an incoherent mess, it is 2am here akjsdkjsdjk)

but you can definitely be right!!!! tbh your idea seems much more par for the course than the spaghetti im throwing at the wall

even then, though, it’s stll so interesting bc like!!!! undyne’s courage is undeniable, and her fight to protect the underground plays Such a huge role in her whole waterfall arc. and, in the spiritual sense, she is absolutely determined!! that just makes me WONDER though bc, like, canonically, monsters Are Not determined! they don’t have that threshold!

and then, in looking at determination in the spiritual sense, what exactly makes undyne different? is it that her desire to live and protect the underground unlocks that threshold needed for determination? at one point, could monsters be determined, but then their millennia trapped underground biologically/psychologically stripped them of that? so then could any monster in the underground, when facing high enough stakes, have that determination? or is it just undyne?

bc then i think about the other bosses in either route, like papyrus, mettaton, asgore, sans. where undyne is the monster/boss capable of possessing determination, sans is probably the one least likely to have any threshold for determination (this is bc his entire boss fight is him realizing he can no longer be an observer, he is literally the last line of defense between chara and the annihilation of all monsters). mettaton is complicated bc as a napstablook turned corporeal, i dont even know where to BEGIN with him. but then there’s papyrus and!! it feels like he should be capable of feeling determined. in both the pacifist and genocide route, he is so assured that the human has some internal goodness. while, in the genocide route, that hope could be translated to fear, that still makes me wonder: under what circumstances could a monster’s determination be unlocked? is it not solely life or death? does it require some ulterior motives (aka undyne’s whole character being protecting the underground)? and like!!! it’s just so fun to think about bc, say it is undyne’s spiritual determination being unlocked, it’s so interesting that she’s the one differentiated!! that even papyrus, a character brimming with good and happiness and love, doesn’t have that determination, but undyne, who has a similar type of passion and goodness within her, does!!!

with experiment undyne, i will admit my theory is very much uhh wild! and unhinged! and, while my theory is much more playing in the “what if’s” of the science of artificial determination, it still makes me wonder! especially in the boss fight herself. ever since i first saw her genocide boss fight, i’ve always been a bit fixated on her eye, specifically the one w/ the eye-patch that eventually seems to have Some type of arrow power. while this definitely could have just been A Design Choice (and one i stand by!!), undertale is a game that reveals its complete lore when the pacifist and genocide route are put together. thus, in a hypothetical situation, i don’t think it would be out of the question that undyne’s eye could still Do that even in a pacifist route.

but even then, there are holes to poke! such as why doesn’t she use it? if undyne has been injected with artificial determination, why is she, frankly, normal until it’s a matter of life and death?

(to cut to the punchline before i get into my bullshit: i think it’s bc, at first, it seemed as if the artificial determination just Didn’t Work and had no affect, when in reality it needed to be met with spiritual determination as well)

and, again, i know i’m playing with a lot of hypotheticals right now, and mostly this is me just kinda fun bullshit theorizing, but i think it could have something to do with the fact that she has the threshold for spiritual determination! the reason i even think that she would offer herself up to determination experimentation is bc of the loyalty and love she has for asgore and the underground. i would argue that she is just as invested in asgore’s plan as asgore himself is, and she obviously sees him as some type of father-figure. so that alone gives her this Drive to do whatever it takes for the underground to survive.

so, therefore, i think in regards to this hypothetical experiment undyne, i think it quite literally is that spiritual determination threshold combined with artificial determination

and for that, i quickly want to talk abt the amalgamates and why they tie into this:

the timeline: corpses/souls injected with determination --> no reaction --> corpses wake up and act normal --> ??? happens --> (quickly leads to) amalgamates

and so then that once again raises the question: what differentiates undyne?

i think, for that, we then have to consider another question: if most monsters do not have the physical determination to continue living after death, can that determination be given when they’re already dead? monsters in general already have no threshold for determination, so can that be artificially made if it never existed in the first place?

bc while alphys’s experiment, iirc, was to see what happened when a soul was injected with determination, i think the other much needed question is if monster souls could even Handle determination

and, while we do not know specifically what went wrong with the amalgamates (aka like How did they melt together), we do know that their physical forms really were not able to handle the artificial determination, imo most likely bc they do not even have a threshold for spiritual determination

but undyne is, as you have noted, different!

so, frankly, i think you’re right! i think undyne does have an inherent spiritual determination. it’s uncommon in monsters, but her want to save the world is enough to leave her determined

however, i think That would have just been enough to keep her alive

i think it’s artificial determination that gave her that final form! to reference back to the amalgamates, they were all creatures whose powers we had seen before, but different now and, specifically, more powerful. that very same thing could be said for undyne! her powers are, essentially, things we have seen before, but fucking to Max Intensity

AND THEN!! AND THEN!!!!!

when you do kill heroine undyne, she doesn’t turn to dust first

she melts first, and then turns to dust!!!!!

and, honestly, it’s that small detail that sent me down this rabbit hole, bc the only ever time we’ve seen monsters melted together are the amalgamates!

i think the main difference between heroine undyne and the amalgamates is the fact that undyne, at first, had No Reaction to the determination at first bc, since she most likely already had this secret threshold for spiritual determination, it wasn’t the Biggest of changes. it wouldn’t have had such a drastic reaction on her physical form bc, even if she didn’t know it yet, it wasn’t an entirely foreign substance

the amalgamates, however, aka monsters who had no spiritual determination, could only handle the artificial determination for an unknown amount of time before their bodies began rejecting the chemicals and becoming..... that

of course, then, this leaves me with even more questions, such as could undyne sustain this final form? would her body eventually give out, overcome by determination? was this form only meant for life or death situations?

and uhhh i think this is the end!! if you made it this far and are thinking to urself “damn you’re really an english major when you write like this?? this isn’t even comprehensible” do not fret!! i know this theory is kinda a shitshow, and it’s one of those things where i can keep myself up all night thinking abt this and talking myself in circles bc there are some points that i think have strengths and other points that are probably pretty weak

basically though!! i see the connection between artificial determination and undyne through the fact that her form actually changes, the reveal of her legit power eye, the way her attacks have been altered, and the fact that she melts at the end (akin to the amalgamates’ appearances) before poofing into dust

this has been,,,, a shitshow i am so sorry i hope this was at least somewhat understandable ajkdsjkdsjk

#this is why i cant talk abt undertale past 9pm #bc then my brain just goes brrrr as i write bullshit for 40 minutes #answered #ember360

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horansqueen · 5 years ago

Text

You & Me : chapter 40

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.3k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: i hope this isnt too much and that youre still enjoying this story! its almost over tho, so if you have any request please send them asap! I have a few more chapters planned but I could always add a few filler chapters if you guys send me ideas. so yea, thank you!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : here are the requests i used. im sorry about the Julia one, they couldnt have a very big and deep talk because it was Liv’s chapter but I still wanted to add her in because i really like her :) hope its okay!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 40 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

May 7th, 2018

It was quite late but we were both packing our things in silence. I had waited last minute to do it while Niall had to wait until he was back from his concert, which resulted in us doing it together. I missed going to see him play and sing and the thought made something stir in my stomach. I couldn't believe I stopped myself from going to see him do what he loved the most to do in the entire universe just because I was scared of what some losers could write in an online article. The more I thought about it, the more I found that completely ridiculous. I was about to mention something about it when I heard Niall talk, breaking the silence.

"Oh, I totally forgot to give you that." He leaned closer to me and handed me a small box that was wrapped in pretty pink paper. I frowned but took it in my hand anyway as he shrugged. "A fan told me to give it to you. Apparently, she was really sad when we broke up."

I stared at the small box on y hand and licked my lips. I knew most of it were just rumors, but I also knew that some people believe everything they'd read online. Still, this time, I couldn't blame them since it was the truth. I quickly unwrapped it and grabbed the note first, reading it out loud.

"We thought Niall was the biggest One Direction fan in the world, but we've seen you multiple times with random One Direction merch and we thought you may enjoy this."

I frowned more but when I saw the necklace, I let out a louder laughter. It made Niall frown too and I looked up at him with a smirk, bringing my hand closer to him. Around my fingers was hanging a necklace with his face on it. It seemed to be very old merch, probably from 2011, and I saw him grimace.

"No, Liv!" he whined as I put it around my neck and I chuckled again.

"Hey, it's a gift!" I argued. "Besides, I didn't have this one. I love it."

"You're such a pain." he joked, making me laugh this time.

I didn't see it coming but he literally jumped on me and I fell on the bed with a high scream. He pinned me down and started tickling me, holding both my wrists with one hands as the fingers of the other squeezed my waist, making my body jerk.

"Noooo! Niall stop!"

I squirmed, kicking him and hitting him without really knowing or controlling what I was doing. It took him a few seconds to stop and he stared down at me with a smirk as my lips were parted. I was panting low, not even able to enjoy his body on top of mine.

"Please, let me wear the necklace." I almost begged in a low voice.

His eyes roamed on me for about a minute and finally, the left corner of his lips raised up and he nodded once before moving closer to kiss me.

I had decided to follow him in Spain even if I had no idea when I'd have to fly back to California. We still had a few episodes to film but I was hoping Niall could come with me. He only had a few concerts left before he'd be off for a few weeks and even if he had to fly to the UK at the end of the month, I was thinking he could spend almost two weeks with me. I knew all we did was live in our luggage, going from airports to airports but at the same time, we were together and it's really all that mattered to me.

His lips moving slowly against mine made my heart twist in my chest. I loved him so much, I always would and I knew it. I was starting to trust him again, so much that the tiny ball of fear that seemed to live permanently in my stomach was now gone. I had decided that I wanted to live this plenty, to not hold grudges of fears that came from our past. I wanted to move forward and I knew that we had both changed for the better.

May 8th, 2018

We woke up early to catch our flight and I put my sunglasses on because I knew I looked exhausted. They were heart shaped but were black instead of my usual pink or purple ones for the simple reason I thought it would be less obvious to the people around that I had puffy and tired eyes. I didn't mean travelling if it meant being with Niall, but that didn't mean it was it wasn't sucking up all my juice.

I didn't expect the airport to be crowded but it was, and I moved my head down, trying not to catch anyone's attention. The fans started screaming, the paps started yelling at Niall to look their way, and when one of them moved too close to us, I felt my heart jump in my chest and without thinking, I grabbed Niall's hand. I realized my mistake and quickly let go of it only to feel his fingers tighten around mine. I could swear the flashes became even more intense right after and I glanced at Niall, licking my lips as I heard similar questions being yelled around us.

"Are you two back together?"

"Did you cheat on Dylan and Heidi together?"

"Are all the rumors true?"

We both held each other's hand tighter at the sound of all these questions being thrown at us and we kept walking as they followed us. I could feel my heart beat so hard in my chest that I felt like it was about to escape. I swallowed hard trying to relax a bit as I kept glancing at my boyfriend.

"Does that mean we're official?" Niall asked me, squeezing my fingers even more after he stopped walking, and moved closer to make sure I was the only one who heard.

I turned his way and licked my lips, trying to ignore the flashes and the sounds of the cameras. I was not used to that much attention, or at least, not as intense as it was being at that moment, but even if it was a bit intimidating, I was not scared.

"Do you want us to be?"

His gaze moved on my face as he studied me before sending me a fond smile. "Yes, I do."

I sent him a gentle smile that turned into a very big one. "We're official then."

"Fuck yes." he whispered, making me chuckle.

He pulled on my hand and we started walking again but as we were about to pass the gate, he quickly and roughly moved our hands up to show our intertwined fingers and it surprised me so much I felt my heart skip a few beats.

"FUCK YES!" he repeated in a yell, making me burst into laughter this time.

If I wasn't sure Niall loved me, I definitely was now. The fact that he literally told the world we were together proved much more than anyone could believe. I knew he was private, and so was I. I also knew he didn't like his private life to be in the spotlight, or talked about, or known, and him showing everyone, fans and paps included, that we were an item by throwing our hands up just showed me how committed he was. People would talk about us and the wrong things we did to Dylan and Heidi, people would definitely criticize us as individuals but also as a couple and I knew that for a while, people would stop talking about his music and my tv show only to blab shit about our love, but he thought it was still worth it and even if I was a bit surprised, it touched me more than I thought it would. And just like that, the blinded trust I had for Niall until he broke up with me was back, and I knew that this time, it would be different.

---

We took a nap when we arrived at the hotel and when I woke up, it was the middle of the afternoon and Niall's arm was wrapped around me as he was laying on his stomach. I ran my fingertips on his arm and reached his back, making him groan slightly. He looked so good, his eyes closed, his bottom lip a bit over his upper one in a cute pout and his hair a bit messy. It made something come alive inside me and I realized that we went through so many things to get back pretty much where we used to be. The difference was us and the way we had grown, and I knew that what we lived when we were away from each other was needed to have the relationship we had at that very moment.

I tried not to wake him up and sat up slowly and gently in bed, rubbing my eyes and yawning before grabbing my phone. I knew he didn't want me to but I searched for his name and mine in google and a bunch of pictures from the airport appeared. My lips curled more at the picture of us walking away while Niall held our hands up together. I stared at it for a few minutes and pressed my lips together, feeling suddenly ecstatic and a bit dizzy. It was really happening. I was back with Niall and we were happy together. In all the months we were apart, I had wished for it, but I never thought it would really happen at some point.

"What are you looking at?" he mumbled low, taking me out of my thoughts. "You're smiling."

I turned to him and my excited smile turned into a fond one. His eyes were half-closed and his face was still pressed on the pillow. In fact, I was pretty sure he hadn't moved at all and looking at him made something stir in my stomach. There was nothing I loved more than waking up with him, except maybe falling asleep in his arms.

I tilted my head and let the left corner of my lips raise up before turning the screen his way. It took him a few seconds to let what he was seeing sink in and he smiled too.

"Oh look, that's us telling the world we're back together." he pointed out slowly and in a low tone, an amused smile curling his lips. "I'm sorry, I'm never that impulsive normally. But I've been waiting for that for a while." He paused and I felt his arm hold my waist tighter before he squirmed a bit and put his head on my lap. "It's okay though, because this is meant to last, so everyone may as well know now. What do ya say?"

I brought my hand to his head and ran my fingers in his hair gently, making his eyes flutter. "I agree." I whispered, making him smile more.

"We're gonna get married and have a few kids. And dogs, too. I love dogs."

This time, I chuckled and licked my lips. He had mentioned marriage a few times in the past weeks and I loved it. He used to be so scared of commitment and the future and now he was literally planning it for us.

"You know what we should do now?" he asked, making me shake my head. "Stay in bed all day. Order food, watch tv, and make out. Champagne and you. That sounds perfect."

I smiled widely. "Gotta celebrate the fact that we're official, now."

"Damn right."

After a few hours, we were done eating and the bottle of champagne was empty. We were still laying in bed but I had stopped following the movie and kept staring at the ceiling. What took me out of my thoughts, once again, was Niall's voice. I blinked a few times, trying to get back to my senses, and he raised his eyebrows at me.

"Mm?" I asked, making him laugh.

He stopped the movie quickly before grabbing the sheets of the bed, pulling them over our heads and once again locking us together in our safe place. I smiled at him and turned my body his way as he did the same. It was always a bit stifling to stay under the covers for a while but at the same time, it made me feel secure like nothing else did.

"How hard did that champagne hit?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Mm, i'm tipsy." I admitted, laughing too.

"Me too." he let out, his eyes roaming on my face. "You know I want to marry you for real, right? I want to promise to be yours forever. I want to literally show everyone that no one else will ever mean to me as much as you mean to me."

"I want it too. I want to be your wife. Niall I want it more than anything."

I felt my heart jump in my chest at my confession and we kept looking at each other for a few minutes in silence. He found my left hand and brought it up to his eyes level before running his thumb gently on my ring finger. I bit my bottom lip, trying to imagine what it would feel like to be his wife, and I swallowed hard, almost ashamed that I let my mind wonder so far.

"One day..." he just murmured before looking up in my eyes. "How many kids?"

"Five." I let out, making his eyebrows raise.

"Jesus Christ, do you want to kill me, woman?"

This time, I started laughing and he pulled me closer with a groan, letting his lips press against mine before pulling slightly away. I waited until he spoke again, my lips curling more and more with every passing seconds.

"You're not serious?" he just asked, making me laugh, this time.

"How many do you want?"

"Two, maybe three." he admitted before I kissed him again, sucking gently on his upper lip.

"Then two or three we'll have." I breathed out against his mouth as he held me closer.

"And we'll live in London, and keep a house in Cali, how's that?" he proposed in a murmur. "I'll bring you to Las Vegas to get married. We'll have the best honeymoon because I'll make you cum twenty times a day for a whole week."

I started laughing against his mouth and he smirked. "Where are we going for that?"

"Bali?" he suggested.

"Mm, don't tempt me." I joked as he laughed again, deepening the kiss and making me close my eyes. "What's on your mind, Horan?" I asked lower and more seriously.

"Well, how about we practice making those two-three kids now?" he offered, making me chuckle. "I really want to make love to my official girlfriend and future wife."

"Hey, I didn't say yes just yet." I joked as his lips traveled on my jaw and neck.

"But you will yea? You just accepted to be my official girlfriend so it's a good start. You'll be my wife and marry me?"

"If you want to spend your life with me, how can I say no to that?"

"That's what I thought." he just said, giving himself a swing and making me laugh even more as he got on top of me.

I spread my legs a bit as he nibbled on the skin of my neck and I groaned when I felt his hard dick press on my inner thighs. I was tired and still a bit tipsy but the way he whispered, the sound of his voice, the feeling of his body on top of mine... all of this was too good and I felt like I never had enough of him. Even after all this time, I wanted him as much as I used to, even more, probably, and the way he was all over me made me think he felt the same.

"I want to bury my cock so deep inside you right now." he whispered, bringing his mouth back on mine. "You're so fucking beautiful. I love you so much, Olivia. You made me so happy today."

I reached for his boxers and pulled them down as much as I could, his words making my heart twist and jump in my chest. I didn't think Niall could love me as much as he seemed to, I didn't know he could want to be with me to the point where he would literally hold my hand and show everyone that we were together in a crowded airport. I had no idea he was waiting for this, I didn't know that it would make him react like that to be my official boyfriend. All of this made sense, of course, but it was just hitting me that Niall really loved me as much as I loved him and that he didn't want to lose me again.

"Please Niall, just do it." I begged him in a murmur, reaching between my legs and pulling my panties aside before grabbing his cock and lining it up.

His hip movement was slow and as he pushed himself inside me, I felt my eyes roll back and a moan escaped my lips. I moved my knees up as he lied on top of me, holding himself on his elbows as he started thrusting in and out of me slowly. It felt like torture but at the same time it was so good I moved my chin up, feeling his lips leave kisses on it.

"I love you, can't believe you're my girlfriend again." he whispered, his lips brushing against my skin.

"I was always yours, Niall. I've always been yours. Since I was 6 years old. I knew I belonged to you." I replied just as low and without thinking. "I was just scared you didn't belong to me"

He pushed himself deeper inside me and it felt so good I let out an other whimper. He remained still, waiting for my eyes to open again and meet his, and I felt one of his hands slip in my hair while the other moved a lock out of my eyes.

"I belong to you." he confessed, making a shiver run across my back. "All this soulmate shit? I believe in it now. I have to."

I bit my bottom lip, making him glance at my mouth before looking back in my eyes.

"I love you. I fucking love you." I had barely finished my sentence that he was pressing his mouth against mine again, this time fucking me harder and faster.

My back arched after a few minutes and I moaned in his mouth this time, right before his thrusts became unsteady and a bit sloppy. The orgasm felt amazing and I gripped his arms as I felt his muscles tighten. I pressed my thighs on each sides of him, pushing myself against him in motion with him as he came. Nothing felt better than that post orgasm feeling with Niall on top of me. His lips found mine and he kissed me slowly but deeply for a while until we both got down of our highs and even a little bit after.

"I'm so happy you followed me here." he admitted with a smile as I tilted my head on the pillow.

"Me too." I licked my lips and raised my eyebrows. "Are you gonna follow me back to Cali in a few days?"

"Nothing will stop me from going with you. Nothing."

He rolled off of me and I pushed the covers to breathe fresh air, just realizing that I needed it. Niall grabbed my hand and I focused back on him as he stared at my fingers, making me try to suppress the smile stuck on my lips.

"Please come to my show tomorrow." he just let out, his fingers brushing gently against mine, exactly where a wedding ring would be. "We're officially together now, so we don't care who sees you or what they see."

My heart skipped a beat and I licked my lips nervously. It would be a good start but it stressed me to think that people would start judging us even more, now that we were official. I knew Niall was not going to start kissing me or anything in public but I still felt nervous.

"Okay." I let out low feeling myself tear up. I swallowed my tears but I could see my boyfriend getting emotional too and I sniffed. "I love you Niall. I don't ever want to be away from you anymore."

He brought one of his hands to my cheek and I felt the warmth of his skin against mine as he moved closer to lean his forehead against mine.

"I'm never leaving again. I promise on my life. I'm here to stay. What we have will never die, okay?"

I nodded quickly and bit my bottom lip as I felt a tear run down my cheek. I could swear he was tearing up too and I pressed my parted lips against his. "Okay."

May 9th, 2018

I hadn't realize how much I had missed watching Niall sing and play. He was always the kid who was singing, dancing, or playing guitar when we were younger, and it always brought a bunch of people around him. He seemed so untouchable, even for me, who was his best friend. Now, with the literal crowds and album selling, it was even more obvious, but a lot less scary. The fact that I knew he loved me definitely helped but watching him do what he's always loved but this time, as a living, was just breathtaking. He was breathtaking.

I chuckled when he winked at me subtly and I rolled my eyes with a smile until I felt a hand on my arm. I jumped slightly and turned again to look at Julia who was smiling widely at me. I thought I knew what she was going to say but instead, she pulled me close into a tight hug. It took me a few seconds to answer it but when I did, she jumped a few times, bringing me with her, and finally pulled away.

"I saw the video!" she said happily, her lips curled into a bit grin.

"The video?"

"Of you two at the airport!"

I felt my cheeks turn a soft shade of red as they burned a bit and cleared my throat, looking away. I knew there were pictures but I was not aware someone was filming. Come to think about it, it was not surprising, after all. I felt two strong arms wrap around my neck from behind and I smiled immediately, recognizing the touch and the perfume. It was crazy how he still affected my moods but I could also see that I influenced his, and that made our relationship so much better.

"Niall!" he let go of me to hug Julia and I smiled, taking a step away. "I'm so happy for you! I knew it would happen! I told you you had to keep hope!"

Niall's eyes found mine and his smile faltered as his embrace around his friend loosened.

"I sort of... confided in Julia." he admitted, licking his lips as mine parted. "I know you wanted me to keep the secret, but I didn't know what to do, and I felt like shit... I needed to talk to someone."

He looked at me with fear in his eyes, as if I was going to turn on my heels and leave, but I just tilted my head on the side while staring at him.

"Hey, I understand. She's one of your closest friends." I pointed out with a shrug before sending him a smile. "I talk to Louis about almost everything." I shrugged again. "Besides, I like her."

Julia smiled more and grabbed my arm, pulling me closer to them to hug both of us at the same time. I laughed and after a few seconds, she pulled away and smiled again.

"I'll wait for you guys backstage. We're going to celebrate right?" she asked as Niall and I glanced at each other, a bit unsure. "It's one of my last shows! We have to go grab a drink together!"

"Sure, we'll do that."

She left with a big grin and I turned to Niall who was smiling fondly at me. I frowned, my lips still curled, but I had to admit that the way he was looking at me made something twitch in my stomach.

"Thank you." he whispered, bending down to kiss the top of my head.

"For?"

"For wanting to get to know my friends. I know you get along great with all our childhood friends, and my cousins and all, but I've made great friends while doing this job, and you never really seemed to be interested in befriending them too, well, except for Harry, Louis and Liam.”

I shrugged a shoulder and looked away before looking back at him and raising my nose in a small grimace. "You used to hang out with many celebrities, especially when you were dating Heidi. I don't know, Niall, to me, it's a bit intimidating." I admitted. "I never felt like I fitted with them, or belonged with those famous faces. It's just weird to me."

"I'd love to present them to you. I promise they're great."

I stared at him and after a while, my lips curled again. "Sure, I'd love to meet them." I just gave in and by seeing the smile on his face, I knew it made him happy. "Let's start with Julia. I already know I love her."

Niall laughed and cupped my face, tilting my chin up before reaching for my mouth with his. "And I know I love you."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #my fanfics #yam

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ribinapan · 4 years ago

Text

meteorgazing

hello everybody here is an original piece of writing i was kinda proud of bc im trying to post on social media more.

prompt - aliens receive signals from Us (as in the US)

they are from proxima b and i will give more worldbuilding info if yall interested ok here we go :’)

one - meteorgazing

---------------------------------------------

notes -

opi - (two earth days)

rings - (eleven earth days)

---------------------------------------------

We get a lot of meteors.

Reason 50678 the surface isn’t safe-- no atmosphere means no pushback. Rocks hurtling from the sky aren’t quite uncommon. There’s not much damage to anything but what they hit. Of course, while it’s scary to watch, it doesn’t do much but cause a roofquake-- a rumbling beginning from the Seeing Dome to the rest of the tunnels. There’s been some incidents, some injuries and some deaths- like everything, it’s something swept away as a horrible- but normal- natural disaster, and most of the time it’s not much more than a little shiver. Really. People in the city at the time tend to gather just to watch. There’s something memorizing about watching a hurtling ball of rock slam into the face of our planet at high speeds while completely ablaze.

Even with the commonplace activity of gathering in the center of the city to watch space rocks fall dangerously close to our Seeing Dome, however, I never thought we would go so far as to make a surface dome just to watch one of the biggest showers yet to date. It was dangerous enough as is-- really, it was-- so I wasn’t particularly interested to watch in any case- yes, a little bit curious about it, but the feeling was quickly stomped out by fear and replaced with a sense of resignation. There was always Holowatch-- a projected hologram from your home holodevice to show you the news-- mostly surface stuff, or from City Twenty, where the biggest political station we had throughout the cluster of cities was placed.

But then there was Ama. Ama, with his bright eyes and his huge grin, practically shivering with excitement as he rushed me in line to get a ticket. We didn’t have enough money for the usual, so he entered us into contests basically any chance he got-- I wasn’t worried, and no way by all the gods would they curse me so much by--

“Elli! I got it-- look, I got two!” Tickets waved in the air for the first ever surface dome built specifically for watching meteor showers in our tunnel, I felt my heart sink as I made eye contact with Ama, beaming more than I had ever seen before.

There was something about Ama and his excitement that just pulled you in and shoved away your rationality. The way he smiled made you feel like you had to do anything to preserve it-- maybe because it was so hard to get him like this, maybe because love blinds you to even the stupidest of ideas. I flattened my sweatshirt against my chest nervously and grinned back, taking my ticket out of his hand. Three rings until disaster and we had free tickets to watch.

For the next three rings, every opi I woke up to a message about strange noises coming from a sector we call Terra, holding a planet that astronomers deemed safest and most habitable for intelligent life like us. Or about giant meteor showers. Or about how rare we are to get huge rocks falling from the sky hurtling at the surface in a desperate attempt to show us the way to our doom and them staying the size they do. And it was adorable, really. Usually it was me, and usually it was seventy messages about something boring from me, and so with a sense of duty I read everything Ama sent and poured as much excitement into a response as I could.

We’re going to die! Screamed my brain, but by the sun god was I dumb enough to be happy to go along with it.

We weren’t the only tunnel with a surface dome ready for the watching, either. City Twenty had the biggest, and far on the other side of the Habitation Line was 9296- the longest lasting surface dome with even a small bit of surface travellers living on it. Of course, they had underground homes to sleep in, but they spent most of their waking hours up on the surface. Everyone knew about it, and Ama swore he wanted to be one of them one day. I wondered how it’d feel to be watching this from there-- normal? Did they see meteor showers all the time? Were they afraid it might hit the dome every time they saw one screeching towards them faster than an Aquatrain? Not for the first time and definitely not for the last, I closed my eyes to sleep before we went up to our tunnel’s first surface dome with only one thought, an absolute certainty: oh my gods, we’re going to die.

When I woke up, I found myself wandering to Ama’s home with an even stronger sense of resignation and a desire to not be alone with it. Immediately upon arrival, I was met with the most excited four-eyed gaze I’ve ever been locked in-- and there it went again, I knew I was going to do this and be just fine with it.

His chatter continued, rising as the time got closer to head up to the surface dome, and often I found myself opening my mouth to share a fact just to keep him going.

“Did you know space tastes like rubusberries?” I heard myself saying, “Do you think the rocks taste like that, too?” He stopped for a moment, frozen on the sidewalk on our way to the train to the surface dome just to stare at me. Bubbling up with laughter, he tossed his head forward in a snort,

“Are you planning to taste the meteor, Elli?” My face heated up in embarrassment, but I bit my tongue and then shot back a response. “Maybe! I mean, it’s good research! A lot of things can be identified through taste!” “Local child just up and dies because they went outside to taste a space-rock.” “At least I’d know if it tasted like rubusberries!”

Rubusberries stayed the topic for a bit longer, the topic clinging to our tongues until it faded away into excited shivering as we stepped in line for the train. It hit me like a solar flare, making me bubble with anticipation that I really was excited, too- I wanted to see it, and I wanted to see Ama see it. The voice screaming ‘we’re going to die!’ finally dulled down to a whisper in the back of my mind.

Hey, at least it’ll be interesting.

Once on the aquatrain, I watched the train-tunnel fill with water as Ama listened to the rest of the train’s quiet, excited chatter. My hands gripped the edges of my seat as I watched it slowly bubble up above my window, bracing myself for the kickback of the train shooting through the water. It was interesting technology, really, but the amount of malfunctions I’d read about had me uneasy every time I was on one. One glance at Ama told me he didn’t as much as I did- if at all- so I bit my tongue and watched as the train suddenly lurched forward, shooting through the water and up towards the surface.

Here we go.

Suddenly, there was a chaotic ball of energy at my shoulder, pressing his hand against the window as we watched ourselves shoot up towards the danger, up towards new experiences and life on the surface yet to come.

“It’s funny we’re going full circle. Surface to underground to surface.” I murmured.

“Now we know what we’re doing. We hadn’t evolved enough before. The sun god knew we’d kill ourselves up there.” He replied simply, and the casual tone of his voice made me choke on laughter.

“Then why are we going up there now?” “To prove him wrong out of spite!” Cheered Ama, leaning over me to press both hands against the window. “Look, there it is!”

Look I did, and like he said, there it was. A giant, metallic door that looked unopenable by any number of Centaurians, and yet it slid open and let the water slosh to the side as the train pressed forward and through it, coming to land and slide against the top of the tunnel as we made our way to the surface dome entrance.

I won’t lie. I screamed.

“Elli. Elli, we’re fine! This is how trains work! Elli!” Climbing the rest of the way to the entrance was much less scary, as there were stairs and stairs are solid and won’t explode under too much water pressure, certainly since there’s no water. A muffled voice boomed over speakers we couldn’t see, giving us directions we couldn’t hear-- and then the crowd started moving, so we followed. Metallic doors that looked a little more manageable by Centaurian hands slid open with a slow, painful screech in front of us- and there it was, above the slope we were climbing: another Seeing Dome. This one above the tunnels.

Ama basically squealed-- and as I was jerked away from the line by excited hands, we pushed our way to the front as Ama stared at the stars above us. Closer than ever now, our feet hit red dust and we looked up to see the sky now only separated by a dome and not red rock all around us. It felt scarily empty-- up here, there were no tall walls or caves all around us. From every angle, there was sky.

“This is literally amazing.” He breathed beside me. “Yeah.” I said back with much less air, absolutely slammed by a feeling of sheer surrealism. You could see so far-- the dark line and the light line, where the heat and cold gods warred from afar. The horizon was much more beautiful in person than in pictures.

“Elli, look!” We were now the only people standing by the entrance, the others wandering to the edges of the Seeing Dome to get a better look. To my absolute dismay, however, what should’ve been the safest spot to stand-- right beside the exit-- was where a small meteor was heading, sending itself straight at us.

Ama watched it with wide eyes. I watched it with a wince. It was beautiful-- it really was, watching them streak the sky, and the surface, and our Safety Dome, but watching it hit with a Clank! still gave me a shiver.

Wait.

Wrinkling my nose as I squinted up at it, I tugged Ama’s hand as my feet began to move on their own. Following it as the burning ball of-- well, whatever it was, slid towards an unoccupied side of the Dome, Ama stumbled behind me. “Elli, where are we going? We’re going to miss the rest of it!” “It shouldn’t have made that noise.” I said back, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Elli, you’re nuts.” “It was metallic. It clanked. Ama, it clanked. That’s not a meteor. That’s something someone made.”

And suddenly we were both speeding towards it, Ama whooping and me with my head spinning, stumbling and hitting the side of the dome as we stared down at a mess of melted metal and a white substance bearing a strange, rectangular logo-- red stripes and a blue corner, with what looked like misshapen stars decorating the blue bit. Strange text in bold letters sat above it, smeared and burnt as the capsule remained aflame.

“ALIENS!” Ama shrieked, jumping up and down. He punched my shoulder. “Take that, everybody! ALIENS!!!”

We weren’t the only ones who found something.

Holowatch was projected all over the city as capsules popped up all over the planet. 9296 got two. City Twenty got one. Another surface dome found half of one. Cities were rushing to build more or get Centaurians on the surface to find more. They came with garbled audio-- messages we couldn’t understand. But what sent everyone reeling was the one we found-- it was the sound of another animal, not the intelligent life that kept trying to talk to us. Something big-- something that sounded like our own creatures, a series of clicks, whistles and pulsed calls. Biologists rushed to identify it-- but it was soon determined not to be one of our own, just something close. It was big, most likely lived underwater, but used the same noises ours did to get around-- they used sound for navigation.

There was no doubt about it, there was life on Terran.

“We discovered aliens.” Ama wouldn’t stop saying. “Not us.” “We found it first!” “9296 found theirs thirty-two blinks before we found ours.”

“Second! We discovered aliens second!” “...Fine. Second.” “Aliens, Elli!”

“I hear you, Ama.” I said with fake exasperation, watching him pace around his room.

“We found it. We should get to see what they do with it.” “We are literally children, they weren’t going to let us help.” I said slowly, eyeing him suspiciously as he stopped walking across the room. He looked up at me and grinned.

“Am-- no. No, absolutely not. Whatever you’re thinking is a big, fat, nope.”

He continued grinning, taking a step towards me as his expression melted into something akin to affection mixed with excitement. The mischief was there-- I could see it. Feel it. But rationality slipped away as he grabbed my shoulder. “Let’s just try to sneak around. It’s not like we’ll even get anywhere with it!”

I let out a heavy sigh as I quietly threw my life into ruin. I unleash the sun god upon you, aliens. Why do you do this to me?

“...Fine.”

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katieelizabeth · 5 years ago

Text

What would you call your body type? Definitely curvy

Are you a morning person? Yes and no. I’m taking sleep meds for nausea so right now waking up is kinda hard.

Have you ever been to Target? Loveeeeee Target

Do you like iced tea? Iced tea is always my jam

When is the next time you’ll be at work? Hmm it’s kinda up in the air right now. I’m itching to get back tho.

Do you have a savings account? Yes. one for myself, one with my boyfriend

Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Only once.

What color bedsheets are currently on your bed? Currently grey

Have you ever been to Disney World? If so, how many times have you been? Yes, I wanna say total like 6 times.

Does grammar and capitalization mean anything to you? It absolutely does.

Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? My boyfriend thinks I'm a terrible wrapper hahah

Do you have a dirty clothes hamper in your room? Yes.

What would you say is your favorite television show? If I had to narrow it down, probably Skins.

Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? Yes and no. I don’t care for holiday dinners with my family but I love holiday dinners with my boyfriends family.

Is there any piece of jewelry you’re constantly wearing? I’m not married or engaged but I do wear a small silver band on my ring finger.

What is one thing you desire as of now? To be able to just go and sit down in a restaurant. This virus has everyone living in fear and I'm tired of it and want to live normally and enjoy my pregnancy

What kind of phone do you have? An iPhone XR.

If you could move anywhere, where would you choose? Canada or London

Do you blog a lot, if at all? No not really. I used to when Xanga was big.

Is your present hair color, natural? Nope.

What makes you the most angry when it comes to people? My boyfriend thinks that anytime my opinion is different than his, then I'm trying to argue with him. It’s so fucking frustrating.

Describe your current outfit? Anaheim Ducks shirt and matching pj pants hahah

What was the last thing you ordered online? Some toothbrushes lol

Have you ever felt as though you were drifting apart from a best friend? Ive had two best friends in my life completely shut me out before. It sucks.

What color are your eyes? Poop brown

Have you ever worn color contacts? I have but I could never wear them because of the astigmatisms in both my eyes. Lasik was the best decision of my life

What’s the best thing about a hug? Right now I miss everything about hugs

Biggest fear? Losing my loved ones, death, never getting better/getting worse, never doing anything with my life....

If you have a significant other, how long have you been together? Just celebrated three years

Do you know any genuinely friendly people? Yes.

Do you buy your friends gifts? I try to when I can

What was the last thing you plugged in? My phone to the charger.

How old are you? 29

What color headphones do you own? They’re black.

Have you ever shopped on Urban Outfitters? No, just a reminder than I'm fat

Where do you buy the majority of your clothing? Amazon, Goodwill

Would you rather wear necklaces or earrings? Necklaces

Do you consider yourself fortunate? Very

Do you enjoy watching fights? Nooo.

Have you ever been in a physical fight? No way

Do you tend to talk badly about people? I try not to but everyone is guilty of that

Where are your parents as of now? Watching tv in the tv room

Does your computer cooperate most of the time? I literally just bought it so yes haha

Does your family have any cheesy traditions? Kind of

When did you last go to a book store? Gosh it’s been a while!

What’s the closest book store where you live? Barnes & Noble.

How much money do you have on you right now? On hand, $20.

Favorite personal feature? my hair and my lips

Are you wearing make up at the moment? Nope.

Favorite television channel? Bravo, E!, ID, HBO

Describe any piercings or tattoos you might have? 6 tattoos no piercings

Have you ever been fired from a job? INope

Are you currently losing a best friend? No.

Describe the worst day of your life: I’m good.

Do you play any video games? Not at the moment

Would you say you hate anyone? I feel hatred towards racists, homophobics, ect.

Do you think freckles are cute? Very cute!

Last time you went to the mall? Gosh its been a really long time

Name something that’s your favorite color: anything teal

Have you been to Red Lobster before? Yesssss. I want seafood

Do you judge by appearances? Anyone who tells you they don't to some degree is a fucking liar.

Do you follow a certain religion? No thank you

Who is your role model, if you had to choose? Im not really sure

Would you rather have nice hair or lips? Hair.

What are you most self conscious about? Pretty much my whole body

Do you have any family members who live out of town? Yeah.

Do you consider yourself short? Nope, I'm average height for a girl

What room are you in? Mine.

Hoodies or jackets? Hoodies.

Are you outside a lot? No not really. The sun doesn’t like my skin haha

Have you ever been dumped via text message? Nope

Do you like dreamcatchers? Not really

What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? I don’t have one.

Do you hate repetitive people and things? Depends on the situation

Do you think autocorrect is a blessing or curse? BOTH

Do you believe in any particular curses? No.

Ever play a Ouija board? Nope, my mom wouldn't let me growing up

What movie scares you the most? The Exorcist. I can watch the movie now no problem but it FUCKED up my childhood.

What was your bedtime as a child? 9. I remember watching Happy Days from 8-9

Reason why your favorite holiday is your favorite: Who doesn't love Christmastime?

Do you work with any close friends? I work with my baby daddy

Do you consider yourself spoiled? I would say in some way I'm probably spoiled

Do you listen to any country music? yes

Favorite high school teacher: I don’t specifically remember any high school teachers I liked. Probably my French teacher. He was super cool!

Do you ever get drunk? Of course. Can’t drink yet tho until after baby

Have you ever had highlights before? Nope

Favorite number: 7,10

Do you still sleep with any stuffed animals? Not anymore. I used to for a a long time

What is your biggest regret in life? Eh I've got a few

Would you say you think you have a mental disorder of some kind? Depression/anxiety. Ive taken meds for it

Are you normally an independent person? I like to think myself as independent but my boyfriend sure takes care of me. I dunno what id do without him

Do you have any paintings? a few

What is one clothing fad you wish never existed? anything from the early 2000s haha

Do you like to be organized? Do I like it? Yes. Am I organized? NO

Have you ever failed a class before? oh yes

Ever been judged because of your weight? All the time. Not so much as an adult tho

What is your favorite breakfast cereal? The sugary bad ones, ha.

Ever had a wish come true? Nope

Do you regret meeting any of your exes? No way

Do you own any coloring books? Yes haha those adult ones

What’s the meanest thing someone’s called you? I can’t think of anything specific. Probably fat

Have you ever bullied someone? I likely have, unfortunately :(

Do you ever watch Lifetime? Only for the reality shows

Ever tried to intentionally sabotage someone’s grade? God no

Do you own any brown clothing? Hmmm I don’t think so

What color are your walls painted? White.

Last thing you drank: I’m drinking decaf coffee

Have you ever seen a tornado in person? Noooo.

Do you have an inground pool at your house? Nope

What is the first digit of your phone number? 9

What’s the prettiest town you’ve been to? Anywhere in England

Do you tend to sleep a lot? yes and no. I’m taking sleeping meds but it’s hard for me to fall asleep

Silver or gold jewelry? Silver

Do you sometimes celebrate holidays early? Not usually. My boyfriends family Is out of state tho

Have you ever been in love? Yes.

What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? My unborn child

When was the last time you showered? Last night

Would you consider yourself attractive? Sometimes yes

Has anyone made you mad today? Nope

Favorite smell: Vanilla

Are you afraid of insects? I wouldn't say afraid

Do you have any children? I’ve got one cookin in the oven haha

If so, what are their names? I’ll tell you when I know the gender

Would ever consider having children in the future? MORE children? Lets see how traumatized this first one is haha

Have you ever lived on a farm? No.

Ever played any sports? Oh yes, played soccer till I was 18

Do both of your parents have jobs? They're both retired from jobs they were at for 40+ years

Where is the best place you’ve been on vacation to? Its a tie between South Africa, London and Colorado

Are you afraid people won’t accept you? Not anymore. Being an adult means getting over that haha

Are you, for the most part, an honest person? I try to be

Did you make prank phone calls as a child? oh yes!

Do you like to make donations? Yeah.

What is your current ringtone? Just the standard apple ringtone

Meet anyone from your past lately? No.

Have you ever called a teen suicide line? No.

Have you ever caught something on fire? Not that I can think of

Ever been obsessed with a show? Ive been obsessed with many shows

What type of perfume or cologne do you use? English Laundry Signature

What’s the last book you read? The book that Ted Bundys girlfriend wrote

Dream career: Zooologist

Have you ever climbed a mountain before? Yes, in Colorado

At what age do you plan to get married? Not sure, we aren't in a rush to marry

Ever been in a car accident? Yes, three

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caandlelit · 6 years ago

Text

this is a post dedicated to my favorite todoroki natsuo bc he deserves so much

none of his siblings have ever called him natsuo

he’s natsu

its only fuyumi when shes in a scolding mood or touya when hes mad at natsu for not giving him the wii controller even though nATSUO MOM SAID ITS MY TURN TO PLAY WITH THE WII-

and endeavor calls him natsuo

but he would hate it if endeavore even thought for a second that hes fucking allowed to call him by a nickname after all he has fucking done

god he hates endeavor

out of all of the todoroki siblings, while touya is the one who was abused by him and hated him so much he left, and shouto is the one who has been hurt the most and cut off from his siblings, and fuyumi is the one who tries to push her feelings aside because shes so desperate for some pathetic semblance of normalcy for her family,

natsuo is the one who is the most bitter

because of endeavor, his big sister buckles under the pressure of basically being a teen mom for shouto, his big brother had something so fucking terrible happen to him that it still keeps natsu up at night, his little brother barely interacts with him and when he does its stilted and awkward because shouto isn't used to having a family

and his mom is in a mental hospital and he barely gets to see her

and when he does hes always crying

and hes the only one who even mentions touya

shouto probably only remembers him as a heartbreakingly bittersweet memory

fuyumi cant stand mentioning him because she was his twin and feels like her other half is gone

which is why she better be the one to bring touya back or istg

and natsu

is the one who is plain fucking angry

that his big brother is gone

and he blames endeavore entirely

and loudly

and rightly so

while he

is another endless source of disappointment for endeavor

because he has a water quirk

not ice, not fire

nope

natsu has a mix of his parents quirks

and its actually not powerful

he cant move oceans or create tsunamis

but he doesn't care what his dickhead dad thinks

hes a fuckin’ waterbender and hes fuckin’ proud of his quirk

right, when they first watched avatar when endvore wasn't home

natsu literally let out a screech of excitement

and touya was yelling out loud in shocked happiness “oH MY GOD NATSU UR IN THIS SHOW!!” and fuyumi was jumping up and down like !!

uhh he plays volleyball??

im not sure if this is canon actually

but well it was in one of those first page of the most kudos filter dabihawks fics and I watch haikyuu so im shoving myself onto the volleyball player natsu bandwagon

hes a wing spiker and hes the ace for his team!!

(for the people who dont watch hq, a spiker is the one who jumps and yeets the ball over the net and an ace is the best third year spiker)

hes rly good

as you all are painfully aware

hes the sporty sibling

but hes not gay

*someone* are you gay

*touya wipes away a tear in the bg while natsu clenches his teeth and says manfully* no tragically I am heterosexual

so he likes sports and hes buff and drinks protein shakes and wakes up early and does push ups and makes breakfast for himself and fuyumi when hes at home

hes college aged??

hes a fratboy

on campus he exclusively wears snapbacks and tanktops with lame slogans on them

its why he and hawks hit it off so well !!

he calls him hawks-bro

big bro touya who is also an ex villain brings home his bf who is the number one hero a month after the end of endthevore and while fuyumi is skeptical of this hawks guy

only bc shes the elder sister!! so shes the one who the shovel talk duty falls upon

shes legally obliged to hate hawks its in the elder sibling rulebook

natsu thinks hes the shit

hawks enters their house and looks at natsu and natsu looks at him and they point at each other like in the clone spiderman meme

they are wearing the same snapback and the same hoodie and have the same expression on their faces

#its love babey

dabi just stands there staring at them yelling about naruto and questioning his decisions in life so far and fuyumi passes by and hands him a shot glass and a ‘same’

shouto thinks hawks is super cool but he wont admit it over his dead body

natsu chugs milk straight from the carton

the first time he did it

fuyumi was at the kitchen counter and choked on her toast

made a strangled sound

he looked at her straight in the eye and chugged it all down

she stares for five seconds then points at the door

‘out. get out of my house’

hes terrified that hes too much like endeavor

its his biggest fear to end up like him

and when hes angry he feels like him

and stops yelling and breaks down sobbing

he looks in the mirror and stares at his mothers eyes in his fathers face

he stares at his fathers nose

his fathers face shape

his fathers build

and wants to scream

but he knows that hes never gonna be like him

hes going to be a better person

he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn’t

shoutout to natsu. he deserves it

#natsuo bnha #natsuo todoroki #dabi #fuyumi bnha #todoroki shouto #dabihawks #endeavor #//endeavor

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themarauderstheoutsidersandpeggy · 7 years ago

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hey, could you do a reader x sirius headcanons, where reader surprises sirius for his birthday like, spent the whole day pretending she didn´t remeber it was his birthday but in the end its like SURPRISE BITCH MEGA PARTY, please ( hope im not a bother)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIRIUS BLACK!!! SEND ME SOME SIRIUS REQUESTS!

Masterlist

Join my Taglist

Prompt lists

THESE HEADCANONS ALWAYS MAKE ME SO HAPPY BC IT’S LIKE ALMOST ANGST BUT THEN NAHHHHH

Okay so we know Sirius is a drama queen

But he’s also not used to celebration of his life at all

He’s never had a real birthday where people were excited to see him and happy that he existed

But James, being the dummy that he is, already told him that you had some huge thing planned for him

But this was like three months before his birthday

So he was excited the night before

He went to bed with you

No you did not have sex don’t even ask

He wakes up and you’re still asleep

Since it’s a Saturday it’s like ten in the morning and he’s sort of confused

Bc if you had this big thing planned

Why wouldn’t you have gotten up yet?

But whatever, he pushes it aside

He wakes you up by quite literally screaming in your ear

So romantic smh

“y/N WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UPPPP”

“jESUS CHRIST SIRIUS WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU”

“IT’S MORNING IT’S NOVEMBER THIRD”

“…. Thanks for the daily calendar update?”

“What….”

“Why’d you tell me the date?”

“No reason…”

He is

C r u s h e d

He was looking forward to spending his birthday with his lil bby and you forgot

The worst part is that he’s used to this so he pushes it aside and says that it’s normal and that he’s just not worth the celebration

You go throughout your normal Saturday

But you see him staring off into space more often than he normally does

He always frowns and stares at nothingness

You can see how sad it’s making him that you ‘forgot’ his birthday

So after your dinner in the great hall he says he’s going to bed

You grab his hand and ask him to go on a walk with you around the grounds

He decides that if he’s not worthy of any celebration, he might as well enjoy some quality time with his s/o

So you guys set off and take a thirty minute walk around the grounds

He’s quiet but he has been all day

He’s holding your hand and looking at the ground while he walks

Meanwhile

James Remus and Peter (ew nasty rat) are gathering up all the gryffindors

And I mean ALL

And then EVERYONE from the rest of the houses

That they didn’t have anything against

Quidditch captains/players from other houses were not included

And piled them into the common room

They even made his brother and the nice Slytherins celebrate too

Remus knows who’s nice bc he’s friends with everyone omg you can’t fight me on that

So like 90% or the school is in the common room

And James is like wAIT

SO he runs off and the rest of them are like wtf what do we do

He runs to the teacher’s lounge

And grabs Mcgonagall and Dumbledore

They’ve been nothing but nice to him and if he’s going to have an adult role model, it’s them

He also grabs Hagrid

And brings them to the party

Dumbledore ends up being the one who spikes the punch

You and Sirius are finally on your way back

And the halls are like

DESERTED

Sirius is so confused

But he ignores it and gets to the portrait hole bc all he wants to do is sleep

You sidestep in front of him and grab his hand before opening the portrait hole

“SURPRISE!”

It takes him a minute to not piss himself out of fear

But when he’s finally realized what’s happening

He breaks out into the biggest smile that there has ever been

He just turns to you who’s also smiling bc wow he looks so happy

And he grabs you in the tightest hug

Omg he squeezes youuuuuu so harddddd

He whispers a lil thank you in your ear and then goes to hug Remus and James

The party is so fun

Dumbledore can dance really well you find that out after his third glass of punch

And Mcgonagall is at risk of heart attacks, which you ALSO found out after Dumbledore’s third glass of punch and the dancing that ensued from it

Everyone is dancing and drinking and having the best time

And Sirius grabs you, James, Lily, and Remus

And sits you down by the fire

He just thanks all of you and literally everyone cries

There is a group hug

It was a success

Taglist: @knowledgeisthebomb @moonyswolf @astertist @accio–zoe @wutheringweasley @crispyfrenchfriescrisis @set-phasers-to-cuddle @thecurlyhairedwinchester @snazzy-posts @huffle-homie24601 @celestialdiamandis @queen678900 @gryffindor-dork @ilostcount-helpme @Dedellis @ellie-emb @nervous-shawn @fcavalerro @dorcasmeadoweslupin @chloe-geoghegan1 @lostnliterature @remusfreakinglupin @marvelouspottering @fcavalerro @xmoonylupinx @swansong321 @xinyourdreamsx @spideymood @marauders-trash-forever @khaleesiclifford @thisismysecrethappyplace @gabiatthedisco @writing-red @stardust.and.glitter @sly-vixen-up2nogood @biatheintrovert @mamarhee @spiderman-n @wonder-worlds @snoploop @johnnycadeissocute @all-thegayships @briisasinamonroll @lady-of-lies @ardentmuse @blueivysuniverse @dark-night-sky99 @ilovetvshowsblog @s0cial-retard @savethehoneybees @luna-xxxxx @bvmakk @deathofthethrones @humblemei @trying-to-live-my-life21 @broken-and-alone12 @fandomnerdsarecool @stardust.and.glitter @hopewithadashofglitter @lazydiabetic @killerbumblebee @angeld82300

#sirius black x reader #young!sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius x reader #older!sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #young sirius black imagine #sirius black headcanon #sirius black hcs #sirius black hc #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fluff #sirius black fic #sirius black angst #sirius black au #sirius black one-shot #sirius black oneshot

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bangtan-ballum · 7 years ago

Text

what i remember from the interactive introverts show in belfast (28.5.2018) SPOILERS

this is all from memory so quotes and the order may not be completely accurate but close enough.. *pretty detailed spoilers*

- before the show began and the playlist was on, 'dans siri' kept interrupting saying "this is dans siri he left me to go look at some memes i hope you’re enjoying the playlist" and it telling us there’s no recording allowed and to turn our phones off or "ill beat you up only i cant because i’m just an ipad"

- the playlist had bts mic drop and red velvet peek-a-boo and everyone started singing and dancing to it and i was shook so many were fans of kpop omg i was liVING.

- explaining his tweet "the weirdest thing happened, sorry if you’re here but omg that would be weird, we were sat on a bench and then this little boy wearing a fedora walked by, stopped, looked back and did this *tipped his hat* like was that directed at me?? there was no hello, nothing! and then he waited and did it again?!" he asked phil if he seen him and he said he did. dan said "phew if you didn’t i thought, i’ve just seen god, god just came to me in this form to judge me. and if he did id be going down (to hell). i am not prepared for that"

- talking about the stage and the amazing graphic design and the two big i's at the side of the stage and dan said "look at those long boys" then called them phallic

- a photo of dan inspired by my horse prince with the caption "ride me senpai" and phil said it was from his own personal files so he doesn’t know how that got there..

- phil saying they want to get to know us better but bc theres not enough time for them to take us all out for a coffee and a chat (how cute, and then everyone became soft for them and said aww) so they decided to try to get to know use all at the same time

- the audiences collective name was karen

- "you’re just not there yet. you need to get inside karen" *dan looks at phil in disgust* "phil...join karen, connect with karen" dan later goes onto say "get inside karen" and phil says "see you’re as bad as me"��

things dan and phil will not be doing tonight:

- 'erotic role playing': *phil wearing a police helmet and carrying a baton* "officer(maybe captain) phil(maybe philly) here, danny’s been a bad boy" then dan appears holding handcuffs "please be careful with the handcuffs i have sensitive skin"

- the show will also not be a live viewing of dan and phil in their apartment. they then showed videos of them doing things round the house and phil was eating cereal out of the box and dan was on the toilet.

- the show will not be a giant party with all their friends and they put party hats on and then the voice said “no because none of the people replied to their messages bc they have no friends. none.” lmao

- the show will not be them stripping and they ripped their shirts off to reveal they had the same shirt on underneath

- "unleash the bees" then "sting me daddy" by dan ofc

- they tested themselves and had to say the same thing under the topic of "kitchen objects" and they both said whisk and said that they never say the same thing and that was only the second time they’ve done that and they were so happy about it omg

- when doing the simulation part dan was in his fur suit and had to go to the toilets but the men’s was locked and the options we had to choose from was to "ask someone for the passcode" or "use the lady door" (i know) and dan went on to say that this is why we need to diminish the concept of gender and everyone clapped and cheered omg i love him

- during the how many think we know the real dan and phil bit, dan said something about how we know certain thing (that i dont remember) and how we know some of their kinks

- dan being v concerned about how we kept cheering for satan and judged the people of belfast for seeming happy to be making a deal with the devil lol.

- during the sacrifice of dan (what context?) phil came out in a leather apron with gloves and said he is wearing his best serial killer outfit.

- phil getting ready to shoot a spinning dan with an arrow and says "forget katniss everdeen, this is philniss philerdeen"

-phil misses the board and hits dans hip and dan said “if that was 5 inch to the left then we would not have been friends anymore”

- dan trying to get off the wheel and phil asked if he needs to unstrap him and dan said "i’ve had enough of you unstrapping me" idk if he actually said that but i s2g that’s what i heard at the time and how i will remember it LMAO

- dan had to untie phils apron and the audience died and dan was done with all of us.

- phil saying it was distracting watching dan get out of his padded suit and then dan tried to sexily get out of it whilst phil was talking and phil stopped and stared at dan and said "im just gonna let him do it" and so in the end we all just watched as dan struggled to step out of it and then literally also tripped. then a few minutes later he realised he still had one of the shoe protectors on his foot (he called it a shower cap lol) and then took it off and awkwardly walked to the side to set it down then awkwardly walked by and laughed under his breath.

- according to the audience dan has a stress mushroom, apple and a girls motivation locked in the box under his bed. dan was extremely concerned as to why she thinks he has locked an apple in the box. and everyone laughed when the other girl said her motivation and dan said "i too have my motivation locked in a box and i’ve lost the key"

- phil saying the key to dans box was v 50 shades of grey bc of the red ribbon

- at some point they both said a word wrong and both times they did The Thing™ they do when they mock each other when they make a mistake.

- 'phantastic phacts' as a title on screen. phil says "like what we did there?"

- dan saying his phil trash #1

- phil saying “put your nipples away” (when a photo of a topless man appeared on screen) and said it in some type of accent LMAO i died

- dan saying they are super best friends and soulmates -im dead-

- wholesome howell and x-rated lester made an appearance (they swapped roles and were given topics and phil had to make good things sound bad and dan had to make bad things sound good) also when dans photo of him as an angel with a halo and a rainbow behind him, he looked at the audience, smirked and said "its very fitting" i would like the think he meant the gay ass rainbow behind him but y’know.

- dan saying to god "implode me daddy" when he had to make the topic of the world imploding seem appealing. phil laughed under his breath and said “never say implode me daddy again”

- *phil having to make meeting beyonce sound bad and he said bc hes so clumsy that he'd trip and kill her and was really dramatic whilst saying it and dan was stunned and just looked in shock at phil then us and said "are you as traumatised as i am right now"

- dan having to make stepping in a puddle while wearing socks seem good and screamed and said "NO that is literally the worst thing in the world..ok you dont appreciate dry feet until suddenly they’re not. once a day we should all put on a fresh sock and go to the kitchen and step in something moist just to remember-" phil interrupts shouting no and dan continues saying "do you ever feel like you need a drink. well, with a wet sock you can just- *lifts his foot to his mouth and everyone dies on the spot*

- dan and phil struggling to pronounce all the irish names and everyone was screaming how to pronounce it and dan made everyone be quiet and squealed "wAIT. just one person" LMAO and then the one time phil said a name right and everyone cheered for him

- dan would happily become an amazing dancer even if it meant phil would wake up with 2 left hands and 2 left feet because he says it wouldn’t make a difference in phils life bc hes that clumsy now it’d probably be the same with 2 left feet.

- phil would save dan from being bitten by a vampire even though it would mean that buffy the vampire slayer never existed. they talked about how the vampire could bite him and he could live forever as a vampire and phil said he would bring him bloody treats (then dan referenced to before when phil was x-rated lester*) and said "what kind of bloody treats?? omg it would be beyonce he killed beyonce and will feed me her corpse" then said "no what if they just want me dead" and then phil decided to save him.

- dan thinks this phil without the fringe is an impostor and he killed the real phil. he screamed a couple of times throughout the show to ask where the real phils body was and said will get him to confess eventually.

- "are you really just a lizard in a phil suit..because that would explain a lot" phil is a scalie confirmed.

- phil constantly squatting/slut dropping to the buzzer sound effect

- i cant remember the context but phil said something about him having layers and dan stopped and said “layers?? are you shrek? what do you think this is, shrek the musical?”

- phil had to say dans biggest fear and he said moths, and it was wrong so he got an electric shock and dan said "wHAT NO! ok right i have this thing where i hate anything underwater. like imagine you’re in the sea, what are you scared of? sharks? woop no, whales? no. but there’s a boat and beside the boat there’s a buoy and attached to that is sLIMEY CHAIN. EW NO. i’ve got submechanophobia. (i googled it i think that’s what he said idk) so its not moths, phil you know that!!"

in the deep chat bit:

-they talked about phobias. someone submitted saying she had a phobia of balloons and asked if she was weird and asked what they’re scared off. phil said "no you’re not weird. everyone has their fears. whats yours dan" and dan said "as we discussed before, things underwater, slimey things! uHH. but yeah i get that, its the anticipation of when its gonna pop and that’s stressful" and asked phil what his was and said "i’ve always had a thing where i was scared of the deep sea ever since i was a kid. also, not that its really a phobia but, horses. i don’t like them i don’t trust their intentions. like imagine waking up one day to a horse in your bedroom" lol

- they talked about procrastination. talked about how changing your environment, like "doing a very not dan and phil thing" and going for a walk (dan squealed at the thought) could help distract your mind, getting some fresh air and then going back to your work with a different mindset. then talked about how phil has the need to reward himself when he does something and said that he always says to himself that if he finishes a certain task that he will reward himself with a marshmallow. and then said that if you reward yourself with something that it could motivate you to finishing whatever you’re putting off. dan said phil is using the example of a marshmallow but that he really does this and that he tells dan not to let him have the marshmallows until he finishes whatever he needs to do. dan then said that even if your procrastinating school work or whatever to just write the first word, or try writing a few sentences bc atleast you’ve started it and if you start writing that you could get into the mindset and keep writing until you finish.

- they talked about making a youtube channel. someone submitted that he has started a youtube channel about reptiles and if they had any tips. and dan said "omg stephen. phil is probably already subscribed" lmao. phil praised him for starting a channel about something he is interested in and how its bad to start a channel just for the views and the subscribers. then said that instead of talking about what hes going to do, he should "just do it, show us that lizard" and dan said "yeah dont start off like "hi, so my name is [stephen], nice to meet you. ive always wanted to make videos about reptiles but i never rea-" lmao

- phil saying bitch in his disstrack oh my god

- the song at the end: "hey buddy can you give me some editing tips"

- when dan was playing the piano and phil was singing and said that even though they’ve been friends for so long they’ve never fallen out and then starting listing things they could fall out over eg. phils dying houseplants, how dan never goes outside, phils vision is blurry and dans a furry.

- for the most inaccurate prediction of interactive introverts someone submitted "2 hours of dan and phil twerking to the teletubbies theme tune" and then dan proceeded to twerk whilst singing it and saying the teletubbies names..

- d: "its basically two oscars tied together" p: "oh and they’re naked, look at those butts" d: "wow statues of two naked men tied together may not be the best thing to have when its meant to represent us"

there were some really soft things they said at the start and the end, and how we were there bc were happy(?) (i dont remember the exact context or quote but it was something like that, all i mind is that it was v sweet) and idk i just love them omg it was the best night!!

#ii spoilers #interactive introverts #ii belfast #dan #phil #phan #dan and phil

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