#literally might canonically go insane
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giftedpoison · 2 months ago
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I'm gonna need god to stop playing funky little games with me
because the store manager at my job told me last night that she found out she has/had lice (she got treated and did a bunch of washing and cleaning of surfaces in her home and such earlier that day) and that she found out she had actually had it for like 5 weeks but because she'd never dealt with lice before a scratchy scalp didn't raise red flags. I am a dry scalp/dandruff girlie (unfortuately I did start regularly using head and shoulders again but I guess it hasn't help yet) so when I ask my grandparents to check my hair, my grandma is skitzing cause she's never dealt with it in her 65 years of living. And on top of that they are like "bruh I can't even tell really because the dandruff is bad" And they check me over thrice (a third time after I washed me hair)
And I haven't been feeling itchy at all recently but now I can't stop feeling itchy and I might actually lose it.
On top of tiktok, despite me never looking up anything about lice or anything because my grandparents did the googling, pushed me a video about lice and dry scalp and scalp health.
Like tiktok I'll murder you where you stand bitch
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fumifooms · 2 years ago
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Monsters and Ghosts
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Monsters & Ghosts, the monstrous siblings
The Toudens Dungeon Meshi Ryoko Kui
Red song lyrics (both fonts & shades): Animal by The Living Tombstone // Black background song lyrics: This is Home by Cavetown // The two dialogue bubbles, flighted birds & swallowing: Shut Hell by Yu Ito // Blue quote: Susan Ee // White background quote: Numbers 13:32, the Bible // “Burning shadows of human hands” song lyrics: Uncanny by GHOST // Brown-gold song lyrics: My Ordinary Life by The Living Tombstone // Orange quote: Mira Grant Last quote below: Stephen King // Last song lyrics below: Monster from Adventure Time.
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Everyone Introduced in Dimension 20's Fantasy High: Junior Year episode 20 (finale)
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#dimension 20#dimension 20 spoilers#d20 introductions#fhjy#fantasy high junior year#d20 fhjy#WOW dang. what a season#i'm glad the episode didn't end on like. as bleak of a note as it could have for the ratgrinders#being literal teens that were taken advantage of by adults that groomed them and all#was honestly REALLY obsessed by the implications of like how kipperlily's shatterstar was willing and the rest of her friends' weren't.#like there are so many fucking ways that could be interpreted#was she the last to go? was she the first? did she KNOW? was she complicit in it? did she do it by her own hand? what HAPPENED there?#i'm so obsessed. like holy fuck#also this is something vague i was hoping for but like- in the combat when ally said they wanted to go for oisin after he died at first#i was thinking of something like. that they might revive the ratgrinders whose shatter stars already left to have them rejoin the fight#on THEIR side for the purposes of saving the others? but that didn't happen and went on otherwise#i can't. fucking believe. that we got fucking blimey'd AGAIN. fucking insane#and now K2 canonically exists in the real world#fig has an army of inevitable automatons hunting her. fabian has a literal unborn nemesis. adaine has a wizard mom to kill.#senior year problems..... honestly i feel like the high level play this season was really fun to watch#and i think i'd really enjoy seeing a senior year too#what a season. i was IMMENSELY enjoying it for the majority of it that like Starkly dropped around eps 18 and 19 that left a bad taste#but i don't know. i feel like the finale managed to salvage some of that good that i'd really enjoyed over the course of the season#what a ride though‚ I did enjoy it a lot#see y'all next season!!
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astrxealis · 8 months ago
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sorry to ffxivlovepost always anyway Man the way the devs & game did so good in making an mc that is Basically a blank-slate for the players, and there's so many opportunities to make your oc However you like but. the game itself adds so much story and character to that blank-slate guy. amazing
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#i think abt this a lot. and also a lot of other ffxiv stuff LMFAO#it's amazing ..... drk is a huge example of this i think#bcs it plays into the guilt and whatnot the wol feels and all that. spectacular#endwalker !!!!! shadowbringers!!! the way the game uses the concept of hope is just always so beautiful and fascinating to me#and yeah bunch of games may have like. mc you create & design but not always can you like. ehvejfhsjf idk how to explain LOL#it is 4 pm i woke up 2 hours ago but priorly woke at 7 am after havingn a rlly. weird sleep.#to which my twin told me 'i wont tell u what time it is' as we went to sleep so it def was Really late#bcs we were going thru re2 and she was also playing games on steam i've been telling her to play#(to which i got her fav characters right and knew fr how'd she'd like the game LMFAO. twins amiright.)#actually that is also smth so fascinating to me bcs. i always have had someone w me in my life. i am literally never alone.#to which what i'm getting at here is Wow... it's like having a sleepover every single day. and i was a kid always sad never to have#sleepovers bcs my parents were strict (they r cool tho!) but i was a kid who wanted to experience all the kid things#but i didn't rlly but that's fine :P i am a grateful person LOL anyway back on track back on black#ffxiv... the game that u are.....#it's the 1st game that rlly actually made me invested in the ocs of others and also make a fully fledged oc that wasn't just originally mine#but for a fandom or something. and also it got me back into writing and Into making poetry and prose so. yeah.#it's amazing how much. oc x canon ???? yeah. ffxiv is so Wow#like eveyrhhting w themis or graha and how u can AAGGGHHH shit w your oc . so many possibilities#and that character. those possibilities. are already in game but also expanded by the player and the fanbade and#idk it's so beautiful to me WHAGHSGDJDH. and yes me saying themis or graha up there is self-indukgent bcs#both of them are so Insane it's so. insane!!!!! i will never forget what happened in abyssos in particular that Broke me#and anabaseios... :)) i cried so much it is almost embarrassing. and wow. asphodelos. wverything w themis just. yeah#anyway graha... self-explanatory if u know..... idk he's the character of all time to me. simply said. but themis is crazy bcs going thru ab#yssos made me think for a bit 'hey themis might be my fav character in ffxiv now' but No but also Wow. wow#kinda cute bcs me and my twin have a thing where she has a certain type of chara she likes and me too#so sometimes. most times. all times. we have our own characters we like anyway but sometimes they overlap but either the case we kinda#lowkey 'segregate???' idk if that is a good word but we do that w our fav characters. so like emet is her fav elidibus is mine.#and that was all the way in arrr alr and we barely knew spoilers so that's kinda crazy! anyway
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moe-broey · 1 year ago
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I also want to say this main screen dialogue makes me so soft............. doing things to me. Emotionally.
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piningpercussionist · 9 months ago
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hey hi uh would you be able to check if y'all have The Land Before Time IV back in stock yet?
Sure thing- one moment.
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*Kim turns to the monitor and pulls the keyboard a little closer to herself before she starts typing away. After a minute, she slides it back to it's original spot and turns back to the customer.*
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It looks like we do, yeah. It should be in our Kids and Family section- let me know if you need help finding it.
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crushpunchh · 10 months ago
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nothing serious just thoughts about a DR au that i got embarrassed about putting up here <3
#thinking about my DR au#sorta a swap au in the sense that people are in different roles but like its not a 1:1 swap situation#also theres some insanely detailed subplot with spamton who isnt even very important. might make the roles less defined because its actuall#absurd.#anyway. what im thinking about is specifically the snowgrave equivalent#and how Absolutely Hilarious it would be if after a genocide chapter 1 ralsei just called up lancer like IF I TELL YOU TO DO ANYTHING WEIRD#TOMORROW. DONT LISTEN TO ME. PLEASE?#and then in ch2 lancer basically went LOL no. im not doing that. and theres just no snowgrave because ralsei thought Oh God Oh Fuck#What If Other People Get Involved In This Too.#lancer voice ohhhhh ! nope :>#Only way to do snowgrave is if you did pacifist ch1. Otherwise Lancer will simply go ? no. and then tell susie ralsei might need to go to#the vet when they run into her because he is a little bit more bloodthirsty than usual.#crush.zip#crush.txt#love this au dearly. ralsei is hysterically funny in how he reacts to the possession situation#hes like okay i guess this was divinely ordained ! um ! please dont involve my friends in it though !#Literally i think if you play ch1 pacifist all he does after taking the soul out is make something to eat because he hasnt eaten all day LO#neutral/genocide ch1 though. like anything that in canon wouldve had the revolution not work.#then he calls up lancer like HI I THINK SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME. IF I SAY ANYTHING WEIRD TMRW DONT LISTEN TO ME PLEASE ? PLEASE?#PASS ON THE MESSAGE TO SUSIE. THANK YOU. NOW I HAVENT EATEN ALL DAY SO IM GOING TO GO MAKE SOMETHING. SORRY FOR WAKING YOU UP. GOODNIGHT.#figure maybe in a hypothetical game situation youd be able to check his phone and see he called lancer at like 3 in the morning#no further context unless you try snowgrave.#im not settled on whether lancer WOULD actually just straight up go 'no lol' if you played ch1 like that#like i think the first few snowgrave specific scenes hed be way less down for but maybe it would still be possible? harder but stillpossibl#idk. i do think it would be very funny if you just straight up couldnt do snowgrave without playing ch1 pacifist though.#none of that 'worst possible genocide route' shit you HAVE to play ch1 pacifist or lancer will go Yeah no not happening ! :>#it would be funny but probably not actually good like from a gameplay perspective.#so no maybe.#I think definitely if ch1 was neutral/genocide there would be a lot more chances to back out though.
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godineedtoread · 3 days ago
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18+ mdni !!!!!!
can you imagine the cold, quiet and self control freak lt. simon “ghost” riley being just a dumb dick for you ? ‘cause I can.
When Soap told you that your darling boyfriend was a perfectionist, a control freak who barked at the new recruits for placing their foot even a centimetre wrong, who never missed his target, who has never skipped a day of training and even arranges his equipment in a certain way that no one was allowed to touch- you couldn’t believe him, and soap couldn’t believe it that he could be anything else but that.
Because Simon for you was sloppy, a dumb fuck whose blood flow was more in his lower half than ever in his brain. The moment he comes back from deployment he’s sucking and squeezing you everywhere. As soon as you open the door, he’s grabbing your waist and pressing you against all that gear of his as you only squeal at how fast he is (he’s a cat, canon). Pressing needy kisses to both your cheeks as he whispers several muffled ‘miss you’ and ‘want you’, then pulling your jaw towards him for a kiss that quite literally screams ‘i missed you like hell baby’. His tongue exploring your mouth like there’s gold hidden in there somewhere, and for him, there might as well be.
He wouldn’t leave you alone for a whole day, literally. He wouldn’t even shower if you didn’t join, won’t eat if you don’t sit in his lap and feed him, and heaven forbid he leaves you alone after that. He’s fucking you on the couch, on the bed, the floor, hell he’d even fuck you in the bathroom as you get ready to go to bed. You were just doing your skin care routine, but he says you were tempting him, pouting and caressing your face as you massaged the serum, that made him rile up.
Your hands barely managed to hold the sink as you feel the man thrust violently behind you, no rhythm, no technique, it was purely carnal, purely primal. He holds you by the fat of your waist as buries his face in your neck, taking in the scent of your freshly washed and lathered skin. “You smell fuckin’ divine luv”, he whispers in your ear, as he tilts your jaw up with one hand to show you your pleasure blinded face in the mirror, lips parted and a frown of your face. His pupils are entirely zeroed out on your face in the mirror. He’s making you feel this good, he’s making his girl feel so good that she can’t even speak. It only drives the man insane, thrusting faster and sloppier until he spills inside of you. Of course, he cleans you up after in the bath (again) and carries you bridal style to the bed.
Oh, and on the bed? he’s a starved man. A man who hasn’t eaten for months, the more time he’s deployed for, the more time he’ll be spending between your legs, sucking and making out with your other pair of lips, as if to apologise for being away so long. If he didn’t look up with those love drunk eyes as he sucked on your clit droopily you would’ve been hundred percent convinced that he was with you just for sex. Because the shit amount of time he spent just shoving his dick in you anywhere and anytime for the rest of the days is just wild.
He’d bend you over on the kitchen counter while you cook him breakfast, “What’d I need breakfast for ? You’re good enough”, he grunts as he proceeds to lift you on the counter and eat your sweet cunt out. You can’t even go out without him grabbing you somewhere, squeezing and playing with you like his personal stress toy. You try and push his hand away and tell him stop? You’re just inviting a challenge. He’ll be touching your sensitive spots, ears, arms, waist, neck. Whispering filthy comments as you walk around the shop. Until you drag him sneakily to the restroom to finally him what he wants. He’ll have you on your knees, tears staining you cheek as you try fit all of him in your throat, “That’s it doll, y’re doin’ so bloody well f’me”. He grabs your hair, lightly thrusting in you as you take him in further. He’s a mess above you, a moaning and groaning mess who just can’t ever get enough of you.
In short, the man CANNOT physically stay away from you. So when Soap says how Ghost is on the field, you know that he’s a completely different person from Simon, because Simon can’t last a day without you giving him some kind of a sweet treat :>
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a/n: ahahaha, first time writing stuff like this, hope the public approves.
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lambmotifz · 2 months ago
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the thing about kripke seasons wincest is that it is canonically a little rapey. especially in s4 with dean going full obsessive stalker mode on his brotherwife
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4.04 metamorphosis. i can’t stress enough how terrified sam looks when dean finds out that he’s using his powers. sam learned to lie to escape his toxic ex’s dean’s wrath, he knows that dean will be angry if he tells him the truth and angry if he lies so he might as well try to delay the inevitable
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4.21 when the levee breaks. dean forcefully locks sam up to “fix” him ♡
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sam literally just escaped being locked in the panic room and now he has to go on the run from dean and he’s scared because he knows dean’s gonna come after him
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and then dean did exactly that! iconic obsessed king
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also thinking about sam and dean in the early kripke pilot draft and his original pitch. sam is frightened of dean. and dean’s lines “you think i’m scary-unbalanced, right?” “so why would you wanna piss off a scary-unbalanced dude?”…much to think about. we got a different pilot with different sam and dean but the fact that kripke had this vision of their dynamic makes me a bit insane, and i think it’s safe to say this vision is still very much present in canon, except it’s more blatant in late kripke seasons (s4-5)
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coirinthyurilo · 4 months ago
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Just a thought of mine.
Will: Since you're the prince of the underworld. But ALSO the Ghost King. What does that make you?
Nico:
Will: A prince or a king?
Nico: Both.
Will: And if I'm getting married to you in the future, what does that make me?
Nico: Mine.
Will: *Confused and flustered noises*
YOU CANNOT TELL ME THEY DID NOT HAVE THIS CONVERSATION AT SOME POINT. THIS IS CANON.
But it would be really a cool concept. Will being probably both a prince and king\queen when he gets married to Nico.
He definitely has many privileges that most demi-gods don't.
1. Gets married to the one and only Nico Di Angelo. Duh.
2. The amount of pick up rides he gets by Nico's zombie chauffeur.
3. The privilege to walk into Persephone's garden without harm done to him. (I HC that they get along very well, due to Will knowing a lot about plants for medicine, and Persephone being a plantita.)
4. The possibility that he gets to LIVE in Hades' palace. He probably even has a seperate room unless he and Nico share Nico's. (Or they go to Elysium either way.)
5. Will probably be highly respected by the dead and living? (He saves people's lives, and he's the spouse of literally the son of the dead.)
6. If monsters hear that he's Nico husband. They will have second thoughts of going after him. Like the hesitation of finding some blonde healer alone in the woods all because you find a skull ring on his finger. And he just so happens to be Nico's husband. Like you know you can't get close to that fothermucker.
7. I HC that he has higher power over the dead or the souls of the living technically. They may be different but their powers work incredibly well together.
8. He's loved by the underworld too, they respect and would treat him nicely.
9. He's loved by many, if he dies. The underworld would riot. The living would go insane. And Hades will have double the amount of paperwork to do. (Probably also one of the many reasons he tries to keep Will alive as long as possible.) Nico might throw the Olympians, of course.
10. Since he's married to Nico, I think in a sense he has some resistance to the underworld's affects on him. And would avoid dropping dead while walking in there.
11. Death\Thanatos is definitely chill with him and won't take his soul away, and allows him to die of old age.
I think there's more perks and privileges, but you can tell me more in the reply section I would love to hear more from ya'll. :D
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mymoshangthoughts · 18 days ago
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okay, okay, okay, bear with me
mobei jun already knows about shang qinghua as airplane
oki ive decided to take advantage of the fact that WE NEVER GET A MOBEI JUN POV AND I'LL BE FORVER SALTY ABOUT THAT SHIT
but like, shen yuan figured airplane out REAL fast, right? they barely spent time together before the immortal alliance and then it takes one surprise before airplane is saying stupid shit, right?
and i cant help but think, mobei jun aint dumb and he's been spending How Many Years crashing at shang qinghua's leisure house whenever the fuck he feels like it?
he also finds shang qinghua to be Hella Sus because come on, ofc he does. a human just declares their undying loyalty to you after one fucking meeting??? even if he believes shang qinghua is being sincere in the moment, the fact that he was so quick to betray his sect doesnt speak of a loyal servant
so why wouldnt he snoop? why wouldnt he pay extra close attention when shang qinghua says shit that doesnt make sense? why wouldnt he notice when shang qinghua speaks or writes in a language that he doesnt recognize? airplane canonically isnt fluent in english so if he used a bit of it, especially chinglish, wouldnt mobei jun be able to learn some of the meanings of the words just by context clues? especially when he has YEARS to decode it? like if airplane was fluent, maybe he could hide the meaning, but a limited vocabulary adapted to another language isnt actually super hard to decode. it's the same reason that you can generally understand what slang means before you look up the definition. you might not know what 'rizz' means, but you can pick up the meaning from context clues.
anyway im over explaining the linguistic aspects ALL IM SAYING IS what if airplane kinda depends heavily on chinglish to be his Secret Language that Theres No Way That Anyone Here Can Get. and sure, for most people, it does seem like gibberish. but again, mobei jun has YEARS at his side and reasons to nitpick at it and decode it.
like what if airplane had a habit of writing out pidw plot points in chinglish bc look he is Going to forget shit no matter what, he wrote that novel a lifetime ago, but theres some info thats pretty important for him to Not Forget. so mobei jun is just left with a huge stash of Impossible Information that shang qinghua writes about
everything ranging from future events to obscure demon world facts that theres just no justifiable reason for shang qinghua to know about and just everything in between.
but also what if shang qinghua wrote his feelings? his thoughts? his issues? like cmon, he literally has NO ONE to consult with about the insanity of his life before cucumber-bro, and his life is really crazy, and he used to be the person who wrote out his feelings via novel but look dude he's not about to tempt fate by writing out another novel rn so a diary makes sense. or at least like, random venting
and again, this isnt even mentioning airplane having some potential verbal fuckups that mobei jun can add to his ever growing file of "shang qinghua has something fucking going on"
and like, maybe mobei jun hasnt actually figured out the exact truth but he has some eerily close guesses. or maybe airplane wrote a lengthy journal explaining literally his entire fucked up life and mobei jun knows Everything.
look im just a little bit obsessed with mobei jun casually being aware for YEARS that shang qinghua is from another world and might have once had god-like powers over this world. i think this is very funny and i think it could work in a canon compliant way. cuz i also like to think that some of mobei jun's aggro at shang qinghua was a mixture of
you literally wont tell me who you really are. you claim to be my loyal subject but you wont even tell me your real name and Yes I'm Upset About That
you fucking fucker, you literally PLANNED that horrible event to happen???? you suck so bad omfg. THAT WAS TRAUMATIZING FOR ME YOU JERK NO I DONT CARE IF YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT IT NOW
your handwriting sucks and im mad that i didnt just have to decode your weird other language, i also had to decode your fucking horrendous handwriting and i dont know if i can ever forgive you for that
you barely ever show your real personality in front of me and i have to learn how you really feel by reading this fucking notes and YES IM UPSET ABOUT THAT
i also just love the idea of Something Happening to do with the multiverse and basically mobei jun is the only one who isnt remotely surprised lmfao. binghe is in crisis mode, cucumber thinks he's gonna die, airplane is freaked out, and mobei jun is just like "yeah, figured some dumb shit like this might happen. you didnt know binghe? dont you pay any attention to your husband :/ dude, they're not even good at hiding it, i thought you were supposed to be smart"
also the simultaneous heartattacks that cucumber and airplane would have that mobei jun just KNOWS like thats hilarious. imagine they need to talk about something secretly in public and its super urgent and mobei jun just starts using chinglish or webspeak or something perfectly and cumplane are FREAKING THE FUCK OUT
mobei jun: that mofo is hella sus, but keep it on the dl. ttyl i need to do a vibe check
cumplane: ?!?!?!?!?!?
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hollowed-theory-hall · 4 months ago
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how bad do you think Harry's abuse was? like, okay we all know he was neglected his entire childhood. Do you think he really didn't know his name until he went to school? That he was forced to help around the house the moment he could walk? He prob also didn't know his birthday at some point :(( I love him so much, i want to throttle the dursleys
I mean, just from his behavior I feel like it was pretty bad. I talked about it a bit before and he's very aware he is being mistreated. Harry literally makes a joke about Vernon beating him:
“You don’t seem to need many qualifications to liaise with Muggles. . . . All they want is an O.W.L. in Muggle Studies. . . . ‘Much more important is your enthusiasm, patience, and a good sense of fun!’ ” “You’d need more than a good sense of fun to liaise with my uncle,” said Harry darkly. “Good sense of when to duck, more like . . .”
(OOTP, 657)
As for the abuse itself:
Dudley and his friends beat him often. As mentioned repeatedly.
He slept in a cupboard under the stairs until the Dursleys thought someone else might notice. Only when they got the Hogwarts letter that mentioned the cupboard did they move Harry to Dudley's second bedroom. (The title of the room itself and where Harry was sleeping show how much of an afterthought he was).
The house had no pictures of him, no belongings, no sign Harry lived there, he only got Dudley's cast-offs.
So, yeah, it's definitely neglectful to an insane degree.
As for the more fanon portrayals of the Dursleys' abuse.
They did starve him as a form of punishment:
Uncle Vernon waited until Piers was safely out of the house before starting on Harry. He was so angry he could hardly speak. He managed to say, “Go — cupboard — stay — no meals,” before he collapsed into a chair, and Aunt Petunia had to run and get him a large brandy.
(PS, 23)
And Harry didn't get much food at the Dursleys in general:
This was their encounter with the fact that a full stomach meant good spirits; an empty one, bickering and gloom. Harry was least surprised by this, because he had suffered periods of near starvation at the Dursleys.
(DH, 250)
But he did get to eat with them at the table when he wasn't being punished, seen with Aunt Marge, and when the Dursleys didn't have guests:
Harry, who could see a huge Dudley tantrum coming on, began wolfing down his bacon as fast as possible in case Dudley turned the table over.
(PS, 19)
That being said, Harry seems to be punished at the Dursleys pretty often. (Although, Harry considers sitting with them at the table punishment enough)
So the fanon portrayal of getting locked in the cupboard/his room with no food for who knows how long (or just, not enough food, like in CoS when he shared a canned meal with Hedwig) is actually canon.
He gets physically abused by Dudley, but also by Vernon and Petunia. We saw Petunia try to hit him with a frying pan.
Aunt Petunia knew he hadn’t really done magic, but he still had to duck as she aimed a heavy blow at his head with the soapy frying pan. Then she gave him work to do, with the promise he wouldn’t eat again until he’d finished.
(CoS, 17)
The above qoute mentions how he was forced to do chores with the threat of no food until he's done with his chores. So, yes, he was forced to work at the Dursleys. Another quote indicating he had plenty of practice cleaning over at the Dursleys:
“Filch’ll have me there all night,” said Ron heavily. “No magic! There must be about a hundred cups in that room. I’m no good at Muggle cleaning.” “I’d swap anytime,” said Harry hollowly. “I’ve had loads of practice with the Dursleys. Answering Lockhart’s fan mail . . . he’ll be a nightmare. . . .”
(CoS, 114)
That being said, we see Petunia cooking more often than Harry, and she's also mentioned cleaning on occasion:
At last, at long last, the final evening of Marge’s stay arrived. Aunt Petunia cooked a fancy dinner and Uncle Vernon uncorked several bottles of wine.
(PoA, 26)
“Right — I’m off into town to pick up the dinner jackets for Dudley and me. And you,” he snarled at Harry. “You stay out of your aunt’s way while she’s cleaning.”
(CoS, 14)
I think he wasn't constantly worked like a house elf the way the fandom sometimes portrays it. He was made to clean often enough but he didn't cook that often. The breakfast in PS is likely more of an exception than the norm as whenever any fancy dinner, like with Marge or the Masons, it's always Petunia cooking it, not Harry. So, I don't think Harry cooked or cleaned for them since he could walk, I mean Petunia is a perfectionist about how her house looks, so she wouldn't let a small child who'd do a subpar work do it.
But he was definitely put to work as either punishment or when the Dursleys wanted him occupied. And considering he mentions "plenty of practice" when he's 12 and he spent the last two years at Hogwarts, he likely started doing chores earlier than that, but old enough to use a mop properly. So, I'd guess he started helping to clean the house around the time he was 6 or 7 years old, and started cooking on occasion only very recently before the books start in all likelihood.
The really shitty thing about all his chores is that Dudley isn't doing anything and it's just Harry. This difference is one Harry was always aware of and considers unfair, because it is incredibly unfair. The fact he is forced to do work and gets punished when the other child in the house doesn't adds to the sense of worthlessness the Dursleys already make Harry feel.
Uncle Vernon in general is pretty violent towards Harry, shown in the first quote in this post and in others:
Harry ran down the stairs two at a time, coming to an abrupt halt several steps from the bottom, as long experience had taught him to remain out of arm’s reach of his uncle whenever possible.
(HBP, 45)
I wanted to add the imprisonment in CoS, because the treatment is truly subhuman:
The following morning, he paid a man to fit bars on Harry’s window. He himself fitted a cat-flap in the bedroom door, so that small amounts of food could be pushed inside three times a day. They let Harry out to use the bathroom morning and evening. Otherwise, he was locked in his room around the clock.
(CoS, 28)
They treat him like an actual prisoner. They let him out to the bathroom twice a day! Like WTF! This is so not okay I don't have words.
As for not calling him by his name...
“We could phone Marge,” Uncle Vernon suggested. “Don’t be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy.” The Dursleys often spoke about Harry like this, as though he wasn’t there — or rather, as though he was something very nasty that couldn’t understand them, like a slug.
(PS, 19)
They usually refer to Harry simply as "boy" or "the boy", they also use "you" when talking to him or "him" about him, but not his name, except one time in PS when Vernon is faking being nice:
“Er — yes, Harry — about this cupboard. Your aunt and I have been thinking…you’re really getting a bit big for it…we think it might be nice if you moved into Dudley’s second bedroom.
(PS, 30)
Considering how Harry mentions they often don't speak to him, but at him or about him, definitely suggests they don't use his name often. Vernon seems very odd about using Harry's name, and we see it isn't something common, but it does happen. I think Harry did always know his name though, I'm sure he asked, and regardless of how awful the Dursleys are, Petunia likely told him his name in the same breath she talked about how his father was a drunkard that got both him and Lily killed.
We also know they don't do anything for Harry's birthday, and Harry doesn't think they remember it:
The lighted dial of Dudley’s watch, which was dangling over the edge of the sofa on his fat wrist, told Harry he’d be eleven in ten minutes’ time. He lay and watched his birthday tick nearer, wondering if the Dursleys would remember at all, wondering where the letter writer was now.
(PS, 35)
So, it's very plausible the Dursleys never told Harry when his birthday is and that he had to discover it himself somehow.
TL;DR
Harry's abuse at the Dursleys was awful. It included physical abuse from all three Durslesy and periods of starvation.
He was put to chores like cleaning the house, but it wasn't a constant thing where he worked like a house elf. It actually seems Petunia did most of the cooking.
He probably only started cleaning when he was 6 or 7 at the youngest. And cooking is likely a later development.
Harry was allowed to sit at the table and even watch TV on rare occasions but usually didn't get to choose what to watch. It means Harry should be somewhat aware of muggle pop culture at the time.
Harry, in general, wasn't really treated as human. Not having his name used, only talked at, not having his birthday celebrated, not getting pocket money or anything of his own. Not to mention being forced to sleep in the cupboard or on the floor (in the shack on the sea in PS) and getting his food through a cat flap on his bedroom door like an actual prisoner in CoS.
So, while fanon portrayals make the Dursleys worse than they actually are, they are plenty awful on their own. Believe me, if I could throttle them, I would.
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whichcouldmeannothing · 1 year ago
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big big marvey fic rec list
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marvey is currently my most bookmarked ship, so trust me when i say i've been around the bend for marvey content. i have dug through a lot of it the past few months, so trust that these fics have been highly rated!
fics are loosely grouped, with the summary and my thoughts under the cut :3 no spoilers ofc bc i love you
MY PERSONAL FAVOURITES
A Specter-Ross Affair by @frivoloussuits (15k+, au)
“You ordered an ‘extra-hot, extra-wet cappuccino, single-origin, properly layered, to-go and ready five minutes ago to make up for your service speed or lack thereof.’” In which Mike is a barista, Rachel is a lawyer, and Harvey is paid excessive amounts of money to plan their joyous Christmas wedding.
"Love is just a particularly socially accepted form of fraud. It's a series of increasingly complex and fragile deceptions between two or more people, and, more alarmingly, between each participant and their own deluded subconscious."
i literally cannot recommend this fic enough. this might be my favourite read of the entire year, dead serious. this sounds fluffy but trust me, the pining and the angst go well like salt on a chocolate chip cookie: extremely decadent. everything about this fic goes insane and this should be your gateway drug into marvey, im so serious about this. READ IT. (weddingplanner!harvey)
of all the gin joints by @frivoloussuits (10k+, au)
Hanging around a neighborhood bar one night, Harvey befriends a guy named Mike after realizing they can both quote The Princess Bride on demand. In the law offices of Rand, Kaldor, Zane and Pearson, senior partner Harvey Specter takes on an unusual case, representing his managing partner's daughter as she divorces a Michael James Ross. Harvey sees no connection until it's far too late.
"They’re playing a virtuosic duet with inhuman ease, as if the intoxication has broken their boundaries and blurred them into a single entity."
this. obsessed with fics that really use the law in their plots, and this is a prime example. a lot of chemistry in this one that is described in a way that makes you jealous of the bond they share and there are still lines in this fic that i think about almost everyday but honestly, such a top-tier read. PLEASE PLEASE IF YOU LIKE SUFFERING ANF REALLY REALLY GOOD CHEMISTRY PLEASE
5U175 by Closer (26k, canon-adjacent)
Harvey sometimes moonlights as a Star Trek BNF. Mike might have an attitude problem on the internet. TiberiusGhost is strangely compelling, for a recluse who never goes to meetups, and Harvey's finding this kid Photohead vaguely familiar…
i know that the terminology in this one is hella old-school but trust me. as someone who doesnt read a lot of fandom fics, this fic has changed it all for me (also bc the author replied to my comment hehehe) stick with this fic because the way fandom weaves with the character development is absolutely delicious, i remember saying this in my og comment but this fic was written with love for fandom and you should definitely read it too!!! you'd absolutely love it! (also ben stans rise up ^^)
fics to sink your teeth into (20k+)
needs must by @melthemagpie (98k+, au)
When Grammy needs an upgrade in care, Mike knows that the usual one-off gig as a paid submissive won't be enough. He takes a job he's been refusing for a while - a long-term, full-time contract. He expects his client to be a sadistic asshole. He expects not to like it. He's wrong on both counts.
this is a fandom classic, every fic rec has this on the list (cw for dom/sub and prostitution, so if you're uncomfy please dont read) but i swear there are so many romantic moments in this one that make me swoon and the smut is very good, i usually tap out in long fics really quickly but this hooked me the whole way through twice. thats my ringing endorsement, READ THIS
Lobster and Other Catastrophes by @andthetardis (21k, canon-compliant)
After months of silence, Mike starts texting Harvey again out of the blue. Funny thing to do on his honeymoon, really.
BRO PLEASE. this was so good. angsty and pining-y enough even though it's mostly a text fic. text fics to me are more like comedic, but this one had substance and heart (and funny and enjoyable btw). pulls you in and really makes you want to stick it out and get to the beautiful ending <333 (harvey being soft is probably a category on its own :3)
The Game by @frivoloussuits (27k, hunger games au)
Harvey Specter and Donna Paulsen are efficient and elegant killers. They have trained since childhood, mentored personally by Jessica Pearson and marked for years as District 1's Tributes for the Hunger Games. Mike Ross is an orphan from District 12, a drug dealer, and an underage gambler. After years of scrutinizing the Hunger Games on TV to make savvy bets, he finds himself on the wrong side of the camera, now playing the odds just to survive. Harvey and Mike cannot, should not trust each other. Still, they strike a backroom deal.
"Because he’s clever and quick-thinking and he’s learned her main lesson well– don’t love anyone you wouldn’t be willing to see dead. Ideally, don’t love anyone at all."
I READ THIS WHEN I WAS REVISITING HUNGER GAMES AND OHHHHH THIS HAS THE ANGST. absolutely riveting. ths is the third fic im reccing from them bc i love frivoloussuits. i would die for them HHFSHFHKSDGDHFG i love the angst and the life-threatening situations that the hunger games provide and harvey as a career is correct. its just correct. everything here grips my soul
Disaster Stories by agatestones (22k, canon-compliant)
"Hold on," Mike asked, "you made Donna come into work in the middle of a blizzard?" "I don't make Donna do anything. Haven't you learned by now?" Harvey gave Mike a mean little smile, but under that was relief for anyone to see. "You, I can make come into the office in a blizzard."
reads like a novella to me, and it's really good!!! very episodic and you really feel like these are things that have happened in universe. its very slice of lifey and i reread it a lot as a comfort read, its like a big hug to me
Pizza and a Movie by Closer (30k+, au)
In an alternate universe, Harvey's still a lawyer but Mike's not a pot runner -- he's a deliveryman for Rollo's Pizza and Ribs, which happens to be Harvey's favorite pizza place. Once Harvey finds out his pizza guy is a genius, Mike's life takes a few turns he would not have expected...
i swear this is the most rom-commy fic marvey has to offer. i like aus that slap me in the face more with the alternate universe, but this is such a rom-com plot. fandom classic as well and it really reads like a hugh grant 90s movie and if thats not enough to pull you in idk what will tbh
Imprimatur by Closer (22k, au)
Mike was raised to believe Imprint was a life-changing event for those few lucky enough to experience it. Harvey was raised to believe it was a form of mental illness. When it actually happened, neither of them noticed.
this goes absolutely crazy. one of those fics where you read it and you almost want to throw your phone at the wall because the characters could make it so easy if they werent so stupid (but in a good way of course) but the way it was written, you feel the depth of the soulmate bond and why its so important (which a lot of soulmate aus forget to do loll) but goes down like an expensive and delicious dinner :)
afternoon reads (10k+)
Sony SRF-39FP by @frivoloussuits (11k+, canon-adjacent)
Anita Gibbs won’t settle for Mike, not when there are name partners within her reach. She offers only one deal– two years, no other charges against anyone else in the firm, as long as Harvey Specter turns himself in. And even as Donna and Jessica and Louis and Mike beg him not to, he jumps on the grenade. “Time to get busy living or get busy dying,” he remarks, and Mike gives a small chuckle. Then Harvey smirks, straightens his suit jacket, and strides into FCI Danbury.
“I can’t believe they’re trying to lock you in a box and forget about you,” Mike sighs as he leaves.
“Well, as long as you don’t forget me, I figure I’ll survive.”
“Maybe you haven’t noticed, but forgetting’s never been my strong suit.
cw for depersonalization and desc of solitary confinement, very very heavy but the way mike is there throughout everything makes my heart twinge. i really dont know how to describe this fic at all but its really good. it makes me cry a lot. also made me start listening to jazz which- uh
Here at the end of all things by @tattooedsiren (10k, au)
When he arrives at the Pearson Hardman building the lights are dimmed and the floor is deserted. His feet carry him to Harvey's office even though he expects it to be empty. Because Harvey probably fled the city via helicopter or teleporter or sheer force of will. But when he approaches the office he can see that Harvey is there. He has moved the couch so that it now faces the floor to ceiling windows and Mike silently sits beside Harvey, joins him in looking down at the chaos engulfing the city below. [Apocalypse AU]
I LOVE APOCALYPSE FICS UP UP UP badass!harvey makes me bark, but im a really big fan of people who find happiness in the worst circumstances and this fic does it so so so well. reminds me a lot of tlou episode like 2? the one with the strawberries. please this is what i revisit when i miss marvey and i dont have a lot of time because the world and the characters are jsut so delicious!!!
quick reads (1k+)
This Love is Silent by kim47 (8k, canon-compliant)
She should have known. She had known, that something was off, at least. She knew he was hiding something. She just never imagined it could be this. Despite Harvey's warnings, Mike tells Rachel the truth about everything. She's shocked, naturally, and more than a little angry, but she agrees to keep his secret, and even to date him. So when they break up, Harvey goes into damage-control mode.
RACHEL!! HELLO RACHEL!! im always up for smart and discerning rachel (this shows up in of all the gin joints too btw!!!) this runs realistic to me because it shows that rachelxmike arent some hopelessly wrong for each other couple, they have good and bad times. this feels more real to me than other fics bc its not like the world conspires for marvey to be apart, its just life. i know this makes it sound so sad, and it is, but trust me: this is really really really good i love this so much
an archive of harvey specter's expressions by @frivoloussuits (2k, canon-compliant)
Five old expressions that Mike rediscovers in new contexts once he and Harvey are (finally) together, and one that he sees for the first time. Alternatively titled “An Ode to Gabriel Macht’s Face.”
this was written for me. this is literally me. writing fic because gabriel macht is too pretty, like this fic is literally for me. a lot of peering at him to get this fic as masterfully written as it is, and i thank you author everyday for it. to me, this reads like it's been written with love and care and true adoration (Truly, like Mike)
Coffee-Cart Client Privilege by @frivoloussuits (7k, au)
Mike runs a coffee cart. The coffee cart.
"Why not? They're too big and dense to be a snack." So are you, Mike thinks, and yet.
IM SORRY I KEEP RECCING FRIVOLOUS SUITS THEYRE MY FAVOURITE WRITER IN THIS FANDOM HFBKABFDKHFBHKDSA this has the hand-wavy logic the show has itself but mike's internal monologue in this one is one of the best ive ever read and the way mike's integrated in the offices is just so well-done ahhhh
Objection by yeah its frivoloussuits again i feel bad tagging them like 7 times (2k, canon-adjacent)
When Mike announces he’s leaving, Harvey plans to hide the jagged pieces of his broken heart deep inside, where no one will ever find them. His heart would like to object.
BIGG fan of physical hurt/comfort!!!! also big fan of people absolutely freaking out in the hospital in fics, it makes me bounce of the wall!! very short but the angst and love really hits you quick and leaves you on the floor gasping for air. very good (also cant prove this but im very sure this is a scrubs reference.t hanks)
Excerpts From The Gospel of Harvey Specter, edited by Michael "Forever Awesome" Ross, 2011, 1st Ed, by @rcmclachlan (7k, canon compliant)
Mike can totally read people. Well, most people. Some people. Or maybe just Harvey, who's pretty much an open book.
this one's really funny! it doesent follow direct prose and instead plays a lot with the setting its in (where mike's a documenter of harvey) and its just so funny and adorable. has a lot of heart too, it isn't just crack or anything but you really feel everything mike does as he writes all this, read this!!1
One More Sleepless Night by @sal_si_puedes (9k, au)
Soul Bonds are one-sided – there’s usually mutual affection, but only one party feels the crippling need to be together as often as possible. If separated at length from their love, that party becomes crushed by longing, panic, and sheer hopelessness, and so it is illegal to forcibly keep Soulmates apart. Some days, Harvey Specter hates the Bond that skews his judgement and weakens his resolve, and he fears what would happen if anyone in his world ever discovers he is so compromised. He certainly never planned to disclose the Bond for the first time in the middle of Anita Gibbs’ office, in a last-ditch attempt to invalidate the deal sending Mike to prison.
HSDGFHSDKGHRLKGHK THIS FIC. i love fics that use more than just prose to tell their stories (see above fic) and this does my favourite thing that soulmate aus do, which is where they integrate in-universe explanations for the phenomenon. the amount of work and dedication put into this fic makes it absolutely sing and was absolutely lovely!!
also pspspsps
golden like the daffodils by @mini-mart (2k, canon-compliant)
Poetry holds meaning, for anyone who reads it. It obscures and dances around the literal and metaphorical, because it’s imbued with so much of something that it overflows out of any definition. It can make someone mad, or lovesick, or aroused, and the reactions would be absolutely warranted. Mike is poetry, to Harvey. - Harvey Specter could be a good politician, as he believes in pragmatism over poetry. He won't let his progress fall apart, won't let someone knock it down. And then someone unceremoniously cracks open a suitcase at his feet. Or: Harvey, pretty boys and poetry.
yeah yeah i wrote this yeah yeah self promo smth smth
there's a lot more that isn't here but i'll probably write a new one when i go for a deep dive through the ship tags again :3
^^ ao3 etiqutte applies! if you like the fic, kudos and comment and bookmark!! show your love! happy reading marveys! my gift to u :3
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kevjeanyves · 8 days ago
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i just got here (and by that i mean i binged the whole show while studying for finals between november and december), but buddie can’t NOT go canon. not at this point. not with everything they’ve set up
bucks canonically bisexual. that’s a massive key component. the queerBAIT is now lying entirely on eddie’s shoulders. and in terms of bucks storyline, the horrible guy he dated was given a barebones personality…that resembles eddie (military, likes sports, had a serious relationship with a woman). almost every trait they gave That Guy resembles eddie (except eddie isn’t racist). they did that on purpose. buck, bothered, bewildered, bisexual or whatever it’s called was so centred on bucks relationship with eddie
plus the whole confessions “i’m not your last” moment, only for the LAST shot of that episode to be buck and eddie sitting side by side. confessions as a whole is such insane proof of impending buddie canon too…the whole focus on eddie finding joy, on eddie’s catholic guilt and guilt in general, on eddie not wanting to See himself both figuratively and literally because he’s scared of what he’ll find…josh’s speech applying to eddie but making no sense regarding that Other Guy (the glee thing made no sense regardless)
and THAT focus is so obviously pointing towards eddie being gay. eddie’s entire everything has always pointed towards him being gay, i can’t lie, but it’s getting so much more obvious. they’ve reached a point where nothing about eddie’s personal arc or journey makes any fucking sense UNLESS he’s gay, and every storyline is making it more obvious that they’ve realized it
his catholic guilt being brought up. not wanting to be intimate with a woman who represents god in his mind. sex, god, and shame all coming together in that episode, AND bobby bringing up that eddie does this thing in relationships where he makes excuses instead of examining how he really feels towards them…now im sure bobby doesn’t know eddie’s gay, but it invites the audience and eddie to examine his past behaviour towards female romantic partners. and every single thing about that priest/juice scene in confessions. catholicism guilt tied into sexuality again (“uh…n-no offence…i-im straight” to a priest like cmon)
and speaking of past relationships, eddie’s grief is at the forefront of his storyline too now. his main most pressing storyline being chris’s running away. eddie’s grief and complicated emotions towards shannon have always been something he struggles with, and in s7 we learn that chris has complicated feelings around his mom too. and at the end of s7…well. what a stupid fucking storyline, but grief is the driving force of the chasm between eddie and chris. this addresses the most important romantic relationship eddie had with a woman (obviously shannon), and hopefully the relationship he has with his son, and both of those people are excuses eddie might be making in his own head to justify not even questioning his sexuality. eddie and shannon had chris when they were teenagers, eddie’s been a dad literally his entire adult life. does he know he can be gay if he’s been married? if he has a kid? does he know he’s allowed to even question his own sexuality? it’s probably what michael felt, but more complicated
AND michael stayed with athena thinking she could “fix” him. eddie said in s7 that he thinks he’s broken and can’t be fixed, to a woman he’d been unadvisedly pursuing, a woman who looked just like his own wife…
then, the “you think being a cheerleader makes your son weak?” storyline. cheerleading is seen as feminine and there are a lot of stereotypes about male cheerleaders and feminine men. both cheerleading and being gay are seen as feminine. the cheerleader called eddie “dad” and hen pointed out to chim that it his emergency is difficult for eddie because he misses his own kid AND the conversation with the cheerleaders dad where he relates it to his own current situation, which connects the storyline to eddie and chris. but the “you think [stereotypically feminine thing] makes your son weak?” brings eddie and ramon to mind. because eddie was raised to be hypermasculine and Not Weak, never weak. what would ramon think if eddie comes out as gay?
and, finally, the focus on eddie finding joy. on eddie doing any introspection at all. on eddie Seeing himself and understanding himself and being kinder to himself. on eddie realizing he deserves to be happy. on eddie realizing he doesn’t have to hide behind his (ridiculously adorable) moustache, that he doesn’t have to hide who he is
s7 was for bi buck. s8 is for gay eddie AND likely for buddie. eddie’s currently trying to see Himself and make amends with his past (and because that went badly, making amends with chris…the child he sorta partially legally gave to buck, in a way…). buck’s trying to not lose hope over the future, wondering who’ll be the last to love him (or wondering if he’s loveable at all). eddie’s true self AND bucks endgame are called into question at the same time…now maybe i just got here But
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spacerockfloater · 6 months ago
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“I mean, Meleys is a beloved dragon.” — Ryan Condal, House of the Dragon, S2 E4 “The Red Dragon and the Gold” Director on Meleys’s head being paraded around King’s Landing
Why? Why would she be beloved? What has the dragon done to be loved? How do the common folk even know who she is? Do they make fancards of their favourite dragons? Do they have an official dragon website containing all the info that they check on a regular basis? Does it automatically update every Friday? Is Meleys like a mascot to them? Did she help them grow their crops? Literally, what?
“They’re the symbol of House Targaryen!” okay and why the fuck would they care about their colonisers’ sigil? What the fuck is this forced love for the Targs? Aegon’s Conquest happened 120 years ago. There’s no way these folks have forgotten that, as Cregan’s snide remark to Jace about his ancestor threatening his proves. The insinuation that the people of Westeros loved their oppressors is insane because imagine going out of your way to say shit like “No actually, the peoples of African loved the English and the French, they helped them evolve and stuff!”. He would have been rightfully stoned. The small folk canonically hate these fucking nuclear lizards, that’s why they kill them later on.
Did we all forget the mass murder Meleys committed during her escape, or does Condal simply not consider the episodes he did not write himself to be canon, lol? Is his beef with Sara so great that he’ll just ignore everything she added? And for those saying that the smallfolk wouldn’t be aware of this act because only a few hundreds died and news can’t spread fast there because they have no BBC: are you actually telling me the people might be unaware of a literal terrorist attack, but the execution of the rat catchers was what shocked them to their core? What?
I’m getting so tired of this series.
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soggywave · 8 months ago
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finally watched scream last night. its like . literally willry . i might go insane
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i know canonically everyone suspects henry and it ends up being william but like. the opposite is also fun. and if it was both of them even better. also i call my william billy so its another layer. i really enjoyed it. recommend more queer horror films please
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