#literally me the past week

[loveyourhate]

🌙Tired💤

[funsizedcrow]

Link is Hylia's specialist little boy (this is not a good thing for him)

(stills under the cut)

[jamnsketch]

i’m your lover + i’m your zero

[fatdogboycunt]

something something the allure of an enabling older brother coaxing you into smoking weed w/ him and mindlessly grazing because he keeps telling you you’re so high-strung and anxious and you need to chill. but really he just wants to see you high off your ass and increasingly dumber and more complacent so that when you hang out and he rubs his bulge against your ass absentmindedly you’re too out of it and far too comfortable to protest. yay <3

[anakindoodles]

Fractured sense of self

(click for better quality, reblog to support artists)

Individual pieces below the cut

[heavensincarnate1111]

patiently waiting for the nicolas chavez & cooper koch hype to reach tumblr 🧘🏽‍♀️

[stefisdoingthings]

ark aftermath

[ricky-mortis]

Curtwen Week Day 6: Happy Ending

[helixcraft]

the fish that keeps appearing all over my recommended only that he's out of jail and happy

[bisclavret]

like many who have suffered at the hands of bbc merlin before me, i recently indulged in a thought experiment in which i outlined my own version of seasons 3-5 that stay thematically and tonally in line with the show (except they're less fucking stupid). but then i quickly realized that focusing on details is pointless: all you need is to solve the one Big Problem the show has, and the rest will follow. the problem in question? ✨morgana✨

i like the first two seasons. s1 achieves what it sets out to do and has fun while doing it, and s2, while flawed, sets up a ton of potential that the following seasons unfortunately squander, beginning with the insidious season 3. you can only distract me with cute knights and goblins and fart jokes for so long before i start seeing through you, evil, evil season of television.

my hypothesis is that if the writers had crafted s3 morgana into anything more sympathetic than a violent half-alive poltergeist that can never be reasoned with because she's suddenly terminally off her rocker, everything would've fallen into place. a sympathetic morgana would've made real, valid arguments against uther (and arthur) that wouldn't just be the ramblings of a woman possessed. her betrayal of arthur would have stemmed from her feeling increasingly morally superior to him because of his complacency in the face of their father's tyranny. under morgause's guidance she would stop believing that arthur is capable of change, and the whole point would be that she might actually be right. arthur would have to actively try and prove her wrong, instead of getting praised for doing the bare minimum because the bar is on the floor.

furthermore, morgana's prophetic dream about arthur and gwen becoming king and queen and her decision to prevent this however she can is a direct parallel to merlin learning about that same prophecy and making it happen by any means necessary. merlin's desires about his and arthur's futures are subtextually fueled by gay love and devotion, so why couldn't morgana's be? why couldn't she properly express her bitterness that arthur gets to be with gwen in a way she can't "took gwen away" from her, instead of suddenly declaring that gwen is nothing more than a servant, after two seasons of demonstrating again and again that she loves, values, and respects gwen more than anyone else in that godforsaken castle?

following this, an angry and emotionally volatile but still sensible morgana asking gwen to stay by her side during the coup of the castle in the s3 finale and gwen going behind her back to help arthur and the knights would've hurt like a bitch. double-sided betrayal! gwen having a real plot! the proper beginnings of a toxic yuri that would shape a generation!

then there's the utter hubris of having morgana shoot arrows at the same civilians she worried herself sick over for 2 seasons — even morgan, her medieval counterpart that was rooted in every sexist trope in existence, doesn't just go around killing senselessly but instead has (often petty!) personal vendettas against gwen, arthur, and the knights. morgana had every right to be sick of the pretensions around chivalry in camelot (she was always quick to mock it, even in s1), and to lash out at the knights and soldiers after years of feeling powerless in a castle full of armed men that blindly followed her oppressor. the show conveniently forgets that morgana was victimized as a woman as well as a sorcerer those first 2 seasons.

but like i said, this is not just about morgana. allowing her to remain a real and multifaceted character even as she betrays everyone in pursuit of her ambitions would've given the rest of the core four more interesting conflict to work with: merlin because he would have to experience real consequences to his actions, arthur because he would watch his sister go against his father (and his knights, and his birthright) and experience some actual internal dilemmas about it, and gwen because she would be forced to choose between morgana and arthur without the pretense that it's an obvious or easy choice for her to make.

even morgause and gaius would come off more interesting as mentors: neither one inherently evil or inherently good, both jaded by events that happened before our protagonists were even born, both heavily influencing morgana and merlin into fulfilling roles that they think are appropriate, but that morgana and merlin may not have chosen for themselves had they not been under their care.

you get the gist. if the show followed its own setup, morgana's mistakes wouldn't lie in cheap and senseless acts of violence but in alienating the people she loves because she is too hurt and jaded to trust them. meanwhile, everybody else would feel guilt over "failing" her and yet they would be too caught up in their own (sometimes flawed!) beliefs of right and wrong to truly see her point of view.

arthur would convince himself it was sorcery that corrupted her. merlin would know that isn't true but he wouldn't be able to argue without confessing everything, which is the defining conflict between him and morgana and it's cheapened when she's just an evil witch caricature and merlin is framed as inherently virtuous in contrast. gwen, too, would become a more active participant in her own life by choosing arthur over morgana and choosing to rule camelot with him instead of just waiting politely to see where things go.

and, of course, uther's downfall and death would be quick, final, and completely earned — when and why did the show even decide he of all people was the sympathetic villain, anyway?

lastly, and perhaps controversially, i think morgana should've learned merlin's true identity by season 4. her being the first of the main characters to find out makes perfect sense considering their shared history and their interconnected and mirrored arcs. even the show seems to agree, considering she does find out a little before arthur. but the narrative itself tried pointing flashing neon arrows towards this way earlier — there is a whole entire episode in s4 where merlin being emrys is repeatedly spelled out for morgana and she still isn't allowed to see it. that episode makes her look like the stupidest person to ever live, which is pretty funny im not gonna lie, but also another frustrating thing in the endless string of frustrating things that make up this show.

morgana learning that merlin has magic would've transformed the source of merlin's anxiety from a crippling fear of being outed someday to the crippling fear of knowing she could out him at any moment. this would make him want to beat her to the punch (perhaps he'd consider killing her for a minute and decide against it because she isn't a cartoonishly insane evil person in my version of events) and maybe he would even feel some tentative excitement at the idea of coming clean, now that it seems inevitable. after all, he always intended to tell arthur eventually! and i think gaius would have to admit outright that he does not want merlin to tell arthur he has magic because he, gaius, simply cannot risk such a gamble. it would be so interesting to see gaius and merlin clash and disagree once it becomes obvious that it's not merlin that isn't ready for the reveal, it's gaius. delicious!

with morgana's knowledge looming, things would inevitably spiral into a magic reveal by the end of season 4. i picture this season as an absolute mess of miscommunication between everyone at camelot, which is, y'know, canon. growing increasingly cunning and vengeful, morgana would use this tension to her advantage, destabilizing the court from the outside while she creates alliances with other sorcerers outside of camelot (instead of living alone in a hovel for no reason — morgana le fay i'm sorry i'm so sorry they gave you agravaine instead of your all-female entourage oh my god).

and here's where the events would change beyond recognition (aka here's where the meta becomes the fanfic i refuse to write). picture it with me: a militia of sorcerers infiltrates camelot and arthur and gwen have to set aside their differences (assuming gwen kissing lancelot and arthur overreacting happens, which it should) for the good of the kingdom as well as for love. picture high priestess morgana in her element, side by side with a bunch of misfit sorcerers that aren't so easily vilified, chopping down camelot's soldiers and knights and assuredly making their way to the newly-minted king.

then, just as it starts to seem that all hope is lost, in swoops merlin (the actual merlin, not his old fart disguise) on dragonback (kilgharrah hates morgana so much i know his sexist ass would stoop to anything to stop her)!!! imagine merlin showing off the extent of his powers in front of everyone and preventing the sorcerers from getting any further, declaring loud and clear that camelot is protected by him, by emrys. imagine that display of power alone being enough to send everyone home.

imagine the loyalties clearly drawn: merlin on arthur's side, morgana on the sorcerers'. imagine arthur, feeling confused and betrayed by everyone at this point, banishing merlin despite everything he's done for him in the angstiest, most emotionally dysregulated scene the show had ever put to screen. imagine merlin starting season 5 free at last but very lonesome, an embittered dragonlord like his father. imagine the absolute mess camelot would become without him, even with gwen — now queen guinevere — there to pick up the slack. imagine arthur actually earning merlin back, finally growing into his role as king as he does so. imagine the reunion.

all this and more could've been not just possible but inevitable if morgana was allowed to remain a complex character that is neither inherently good nor inherently evil: it was undeniably the biased and one-note treatment of morgana's downfall by the writers that set the precedent for literally everything else that happened after merlin chose to poison her. the show wouldn't have even had to jeopardize its tone or the monster-of-the-week vibe, all it would've had to do is admit that even the "good guys" are capable of mistakes and what makes them good is the ability to feel remorse and change for the better. (as opposed to uther, who was miles beyond redemption since way before the pilot and deserved to lose everything and die alone. OBVIOUSLY???)

in a world where morgana remains multifaceted and sympathetic, mordred would get a better arc as well, so if we really wanted to, we could still end on the same tragic note that the show ended on. with so much harm inflicted onto so many innocent people by the pendragons for so long (including mordred and the many druids and sorcerers that raised him), it could realistically end up being a little too late for anything more than one shining glimpse of king arthur and the sorcerer merlin's short-lived golden age before fate catches up to them. glimpsing that reality just to immediately lose it would've been far more satisfying and far more tragic than whatever the writers thought they were doing with all that pointless carrot-dangling.

and finally, an ending in line with morgana's new and improved arc. in this version, rather than bleeding out on the forest floor alone, she would channel the morgan le fay we know from the legends: sobered up by the reality of her brother dying, she would use her high priestess status (and perhaps also her pendragon status) to be granted passage over to avalon alongside arthur on the boat — a one-way ride — just to make sure he gets there safely. this is her penance for the harm she has caused, the same way arthur's penance is to die and leave the true ruler of camelot (gwen) behind to achieve everything he was too slow and indecisive to build while he still had time.

merlin's penance, then, would be to stay behind and watch them cross over without him, waiting and waiting and waiting until they come back or until he can finally join them. which is a bit fucking harsh if i'm honest, so i'd at least make it slightly more faithful to the legends by having him return as an old man and letting him take a long nap under a tree by the shore, his body slowly enveloped by vines like the cobwebbed fisher king in 3x08, never fully sure if he's dreaming or if there really are strange shapes fading in and out of the fog over the lake. still tragic, but nevertheless a little more open-ended and whimsical than [TRUCK NOISES] THE END!

[thedisablednaturalist]

literally my boyfriend is my painkiller.

Whenever I'm with him my pain goes down so much I can ignore it. Yea sometimes there's days where nothing helps the pain but at least he's there to take care of me. Most times tho his presence has a drastic effect on my pain levels. Maybe it's cause when he's around I feel less stressed and more safe and secure? Or maybe it's cause he's basically a human-shaped heating pad

[silusvesuius]

nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am

[frostgnawdraws]

Messy sketches of gabbro, chert and riebeck in casual clothes bc I've been fighting for my life every time I draw one of these three and I decided to just sit down and fuck around with them until I figured out their vibes. They will probably still evolve as I draw them more but!!! I'm pretty happy with them now!!!

[jellyfishoreo1206]

Tending (Sebastian Solace x Reader)

Notes: I am enjoying this way too much, I have work to finish yet here I am making sure my children are fed.

Credit goes to @/cafekitsune for the borders!

Picking the harvest was probably one of your favorite things this season. The soft sounds of nature that surround the garden as the sun lays its gentle rays upon the earth while picking the fruits and veggies give your mind a wave of peace. 

It's absolutely lovely.

Lifting that straw hat upon your head, you swiped off the sweat and dirt that had built up during your time outside. There are still traces of summer well into September, despite the dawns and evenings filling with a slight chill. 

Jack Frost sure is taking his time, huh?

There's a sense of pride that fills your very being to the brim as you examine the juicy Brandywine and Roma tomatoes that fill the wicker basket in your hold—not a single blemish or bruise on them, all are perfect! And they seem to be a lot bigger this year than the previous.

A sign of luck, you like to think it. If this year's harvest is bountiful, then the year will be prosperous.

A saying a dear relative always repeated whenever you helped out in their garden.

With a huff, you will your legs to stand straight from your crouched position, several of your joints popping from being in such a crouched stature for so long, heading over to the shaded porch where Painter resided to trade the full wicker basket for an empty one. 

And maybe some water, too. Harvesting is time-consuming, and your throat is parched.

"Hey Paints," The basket made a heavy *THUD* causing some of the items on the table to make a small jump from the force, Painter's monitor and tablet being no exception, giving the AI a small startle.

"I'm painting here." With a hiss, their narrowed eyes fixed themselves onto your sweat-riddled frame. You merely gave an apologetic smile, snatching the basket you came for and backing off before the AI started insulting you in various languages. . .

Again.

~~~

Clip. Clip. Clip.

Large scaly fingers gently picked the green beans off the bustling bush they hung from with care to not accidentally crush them, the wicker basket set beside him steadily filling up with the surprisingly immense abundance of the green capsules. He could probably make some carbonda for dinner tonight. . .

It probably won't be on par with Mama's, pero quién sabe?

Hopefully there's enough potatoes ready. . .

A feeling of excitement fills him at the thought of making one of his favorite dishes that he ate with enjoyment growing up and sharing it with you, his favorite person.

He could already imagine your look of delight when you take your first bite of the soup, smiling wide with glee and eyes wide with surprise as you go for your second bite, little hums of delight escaping your lips as you savor the taste.

Readjusting the straw hat that was slowly falling off his head with one of his hands, and slightly pulling back on his esca—grabbing the basket with the second— Sebastian moves on to the next patch in need of harvesting once he deemed there was no more beans to pick anymore—slithering his way towards where the red-potatoes were growing, being mindful to not accidentally smush his tail on any of the plants.

A soft breeze passes by, gently swaying the plants and trees along with it. It also made Sebastian suddenly aware of the sweat clinging to his tank top and hair, grimacing at the uncomfortable feeling of sweat and cloth sticking to his torso.

Though Sebastian is no longer human, he still maintains some of his most annoying human traits.

"Damn this summer heat."

~~~

Painter got a bit tired of the heat, as it was unfortunately messing with their hardware. Nothing too serious, but you wish for your friend to be comfortable, so you placed them back inside by a fan and a window.

Well, now would probably be a good time to get some water.

Swinging open the screen door with your hip, you walk back into the garden refreshed and with a new mission in mind, with two ice-cold glasses of water in hand as you survey your surroundings to find where your lover is in the garden.

It doesn't take much looking, as you spot him slithering towards the back porch with a full basket as he fusses about with his shirt, frustrated mutters slipping out every so often the closer he gets.

With a smile, you call out to him, relishing in the way his head snaps up to meet your gaze, a look of tenderness overtaking his face once he approaches.

"Mi Amor~" Once he was close enough, he used his two free hands to wrap themselves around your waist, settling the basket full of harvest down on the table next to you—nuzzling his face into your hair as he breaths your scent in, the tension that was once present in his shoulders now ebbing away.

You could practically hear the loud purring resonating within his chest the longer he held you, the low vibrations resonating throughout your whole body.

Ah, your little fishy kitty.

Unfortunately, you don't wish to spill the water, so you push him back a few inches with your elbow—though his hands now rest upon your hips, rubbing small circles as he fixes you with a coy smile.

"Hi baby," Standing on the tips of your toes, you press a kiss against his cheek, letting out an exaggerated 'Muah!' before pulling away, handing him his glass, "-thought you would've wanted something cool to drink."

"It's much appreciated, my dear." With a grateful squeeze of his hands, he brings the glass to his lips as he downs the water quickly, Adam's apple bobbing with every swallow; the glass emptied in seconds as he lets out a sound of delight, his tail thumping softly at the wooden floor boards of the porch.

Placing the empty glass on the table beside you, he flashes you with that handsome smile you loved oh so very much, his sharp teeth adding to the charm. Oh GOD DAMN. You could feel the beat of your heart fluttering rapidly within your chest as you looked into his eyes, full of love and adoration.

Those very same eyes looking at you.

Is it getting hot out here, or is that just you?

"Thank you, Starfish. If I stayed any longer out here I probably would've dried up!" He jokes, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he grins, adding to his gorgeous features.

. . .The sudden urge to smother him in kisses is very strong.

Quickly snapping out of your starstrucked spell, you replied with a joking tone as well, "Oh, you poor thing~!" With a playful pinch to his cheek, you give a gentle tug and wiggle before letting go, not without Sebastian sticking his tongue out in playful distaste.

"I'll make sure to water you if that ever happens," Embracing him once again, you nuzzle yourself the best you can into the crook of his neck, breathing in his citrus yet woody musk, "-my Little Froggit."

A few beats of silence pass by, before the both of you laughed aloud at the absurdity of words that has tumbled from your mouth. His shoulders are shaking as he attempts to shush his laugher, hand flying to his mouth to further contain them from slipping out, but it was no use. What felt like hours when it was merely seconds, the sound of laughter finally winded down—the both of you left breathless, only a quiet chuckle here and there could be heard as the atmosphere calmed around the two of you.

The two of you merely stood on the porch as you settled into comfortable quiet as your surroundings filled it with natures tune.

Seconds passed, eventually turning into minutes, then rolling into hours.

The sun hung low in the sky, making it through the last bit of his long trek down as it climbed lower and lower along the welkin, shadows elongating as the colors in the sky changed, the tune of the forest now changing as the sun dipped lower against the horizon—shining his last rays of light upon the soil of the earth before being overtaken by the moon and the stars.

The moon may not have been full this night, but she still showered the land below with her soft light as the woods became alive. The trees echoed with the sounds of the nocturnal, from the hauntingly beautiful howls of the wolves to the playful yips of the foxes. From within the trees, you could see the faint light of the fireflies luminescence bodies within the dark.

With a tired huff, you leaned more of your weight into Sebastian, sleep gently ebbing away at your brain as your eyelids drooped lower and lower. How long were we out here for? You try to think of when the two of you went out into the garden, but it seems to fade away as your mind slowly turns sluggish; craving a long needed rest.

"Tired?" Sebastian voice seems to be a lot closer to your ear, a pleasant warmth filling your mind as if you ate the smoothest of ambrosia and the sweetest of honey, nudging you closer to the land of dreams.

"Mhm. . ."

"Let's get you to bed, yeah?" The sound of movement met your ears as the floor below you disappears, now cradled within his arms as he sneaks into the house.

"But we haven't ate yet. . . or showered" You mumbled a protest as a yawn interrupts your sentence mid-way, attempting to climb out of his arms, but to no avail as he merely held you closer to his chest.

"I'll wake you up to make sure you eat and shower. Okay?"

". . .Mkay."

"Good,"He opens the door to your shared room, "-now let's get you ready for bed." Sebastian places you on the large bed with care as he slithers over to the dresser, picking out a pair of sweats and one of your favorite sleeping shirts before coming back to the bed. With some trouble, he helps peels off your dirty clothes, then handing you the clean ones before tucking you in bed.

Everything is hazy, your eyes are barely open. Your body feels so heavy with exhaustion, muttering out a small 'love you', to your lover before sleep finally took over. Transporting you to the land of dreams.

"Sleep well, cariño." With a kiss to your head, Sebastian slips out the bedroom with caution, carefully closing the door shut once the last bit of his tail makes it through. He listens to any shuffling from your side of the door, and relaxes when he doesn't hear any, only your breathing.

Now, let's make carbonda, shall we?

Last Part, Next Part (?)

[corpsecoochie]

💃🏼 💀

[nnoodlewhale]

boy dinner