#literally me and half of my system
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inuyasha-esque AU where moshang travel back & forth between worlds bc im stupid like that 🥴
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#moshang#mobei jun#shang qinghua#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#if u copy my tags pls prev me thanks 🙏 —op#college professor!sqh stumbling across ancient magic and getting transported into mbj's world IDK something like that#im obsessed with mbj being obsessed with the glorious aircon#and also him wearing the oppai hoodie#lbh would actually be perfect for this tho bc hes literally a half demon sskkssk#fck it after this i’m gonna draw mbj lbh and nmj in the oppai hoodie im a genius#mine#mxtx
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Speaking as someone who was constantly late to school, I think punishing kids/teens for being late to school is stupid. Like, I get it. When they’re older, they can’t be late to work and stuff and they need to understand that. But majority of kids/teens are getting to school via their parents or someone else driving them or hell the school bus which is also driven by an adult. So when a kid arrives late and gets punished for it, all that’s happening is a child getting punished because the adult responsible for getting them there on time wasn’t successful. That’s not teaching the kid anything, that’s just annoying. Especially when, as a kid I was always ready on time and it was my parents I was waiting on and then in detention I’d be expected to write down a “what will I do better” that didn’t apply to me because I didn’t do anything wrong
I get that sometimes it will be the kids fault but I feel like those cases are few and far between and punishing a kid for the adults in their life is just counterproductive
#I literally tried explaining this to my teacher in high school that I’m always ready on time I’m just waiting for my parent to be ready#and that bitch got so patronising and tried blaming me even tho I was telling the truth#like got this condescending smile and was like ‘if I phone your mam up will she say the same?’ and I just looked at her and was like ‘yeah😑#that meeting wasn’t even about me being late btw. it was about me struggling with anxiety. but she decided to make it about that#for literally no reason#and for reference now that I’m at uni I always arrive to all my classes on time#frankly I have such bad anxiety about arriving late that I get there half an hour early#education system#school system#british school#middle school#high school
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Is this fanfic friendly? I feel like an outlier.
I guess this is my sign it's time to throw together a FAQ post to link to lol.
Yes, every event for this blog is fanfic friendly :D
Though as I mentioned on my Ominous October post, for events that include multiple short stories, I encourage everyone to flex their creativity and take one of their planned short story fanfics, and at least *attempt* to turn one of them into something entirely original; rebuilding a character and story from the ground up to stand on its own two legs is no easy feat, and that is what makes it so fun!
It really gets your creative gears turning, to make an "au of an existing material" to be something entirely original, and you can be pleasantly surprised about the things you come up with!
As a few people say, its not just a matter of "filing the serial numbers off" -- you have to add in just as much *or more* as what you take out when you are turning a fanfiction into something that is original and completely divorced from its original source material / inspiration, and that is a hard, but very rewarding challenge!
Obviously, this is not a requirement (there's no hard requirements for any of the challenges, other than no cheating, including no using AI),
but if you would like an extra challenge for the short story events and you're planning on doing entirely fan-fiction, I highly recommend trying it out at least once, and seeing where it leads you--
you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by what you find down that rabbit hole!
#replies#novella november#long rambly tags to follow lol#including anti royalist / anti billionaire shit#ominous october#this is what my novella november is going to be#something that WAS a huge earth-shattering fanfic AU#but before I even got past a WIP Oneshot I'd already realized that what I was planning was going to turn canon so far on its head it would#be unrecognizable and it would be much better off and more coherent if I made it entirely original#so now it is!#not only does this involve changing every single characters name#everyone is now a completely different species other than human because thats always fun#and of course we're also tackling all the issues that had annoyed me in omega verse fics since I was like 14 and liked the#creature aspects but hated the biological essentialism and misogny / caste systems#if your fantasy people have an enforced caste system you gotta actually treat that like the horror and systemic oppression it is#not just say 'biological = right' like dude what do you think people have been saying about real women this whole time????#people literally insist women are biologically inferior to men do you really think supporting that idea is going to make you sound#progressive just because your main character is a tomboy independant woman?#also like she lost all her independence as soon as she found a man to marry so uhhhhh#what happened to being ready and willing to hit the bricks if people kept talking down to you and condescending you for being a woman????#why did you go from independant badass tomboy to fainting damsel who spends all her time worrying about failing to produce an heir#so her husband can take power#instead of just straight up telling your husband#'hey I don't want to deal with the bullshit from your father how about we do the-#- socially acceptable thing and just go off to make our own independant settlement with some of the villagers who are on your side'#like your husband would literally be escstatic about this idea of finally getting out from under his dad's tyrannical thumb#and its more like way more than half the villagers would go with you not just a handful#theyve been sick of the kings shit for years and only your husband's potential rise to rule kept them in check#cus he actually cares about the villagers and goes among them#while still clearly having some biases to work through when it comes to class and gender equality
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I haven't drawn since the start of the pandemic in 2020 everybody fucking clap its my Screaming Worm Boy (tm) from my fanfic Duality
#im not expecting people to clap im clapping for me cause holy shit i can still draw#also i lied i did 1 drawing last year in april for ardyn and that was it#had no plans to draw anything but the noodle wouldn't leave#Two Legs (plaga)#his variant is based off the spider plaga arana and the cephalo#threw in some snek#his body was longer had a standard stinger tip like the regular plaga but he got half his body crushed from a giant rock#and lost all but two of his legs#his body was originally more spider like then he mutated to have more worm like traits to compensate for the lost limbs#so the spaghetti at the end of him is his tendrils that connect to the central nervous system#he redirected it from the mouth and back area where it used to be#tendrils also come out from the little holes down his belly#so he sucker fishes himself to the spine like a pleco#anyway this is the fella piloting Luis's body in Duality post Krauser stab#i just realized im literally writing a fic with the same energy as “would you love me if I was a worm?”#fuck#resident evil#las plagas#plaga parasite#two legs oc#plaga!Luis#sawyer kiddo oc#re oc#duality fanfic#duality resident evil#wish my lighting for photos was better
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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BOO... occasional oc post
#my art#oc art#my ocs#t&ocg:satanic-panic#t&oc:alan#t&oc:red#t&oc:jess#t&oc:henry#starting a Complicated tag system for my ocs now good luck to me and everyone else#under the cut is their original concept art#it looks really wonky bc i drew those when my hand was injured LOL#AAAAANYWAYS i posted these guys to my tt before but their lore has kinda changed since then so im gonna ramble a little bit in these tags#ill try 2 keep it short but basically jess and henry are a couple who believe they should rule over Hell (for many reasons)#they start dabbling in occult practices and eventually come to a solution which is to summon demons & use them to gain power or whatever#after their first successful ritual they send the summoned demon (red) to kill alan (jess' brother) as theyve had a rocky relationship &#alan isnt really that. great of a guy (he's just an asshole)#bla bla bla but anyways Red meets alan for the first time literally abt to kill him but he just becomes so enamored with alan... Red gets#attached to alan for some inexplicable reason and alans just scared half to death#THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS COMPLICATED BUT ITS I GUESS DOOMED YAOI OR WHATEVER like. Red loves Alan so much but Alan'll never understand why#someone even likes him that much#uhhh ill probably ramble more later idrk if anyone cares i just like talking abt my ocs LMFAOO
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lol. i think ive reached my limit.
#i just cannot take this torture anymore#ive been at the mercy of this horrible disease for over half my life now#imagine living knowing that roughly every 3.5 weeks youre going to experience the most excruciating pain of your life#along with crushing. usually suicidal depression. and such extreme fatigue and exhaustion that you easily sleep for 14+ hours a DAY#AND ITS ALL FOR FUCKING *NOTHING*#there is literally ZERO benefit or reason for me to be experiencing this#it is 100% extraneous#and even if you go to a dr and try to get treatment their only recommendation is 1) pain killers and/or 2) birth control#which both come with their own fucking share of unpleasant side effects#not to mention theyre not even 100% effective at stopping the problem in the first FUCKING place#and imagine even tho you have this DEBILITATING DISORDER society at large has decided it straight up DOESNT EXIST#to the point where REAL ACTUAL MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS will dismiss your symptoms#not to mention people in your life who dont understand or just straight up dont believe your disorder is real#good luck keeping a job or any other major commitments#considering you'll either be out of commission for like. 1 out of ever 4 weeks#or youll have to work/whatever WHILE experiencing said excruciating pain/crushing depression/debilitating exhaustion#not to mention the GI issues and the migraines and the brain fog and the fucking. full body aches#wanna go to a concert? or plan a vacation? or just. fucking. RELAX? you better hope its not during Hell Week or youre outta luck#and youve got roughly 30-40 YEARS of this to look forward to#maybe less IF YOURE LUCKY#im fucking over it#i cant take it anymore#im making an appt to see a dr and i WILL NOT LEAVE THEIR OFFICE until they have referred me to whoever i have to talk to to make this stop#my fucking fury at having to live like this has officially outweighed my fear of invasive procedures/recovery time/side effects#let along the torture that is navigating the medical care system as an AFAB#i just. i cant do this anymore.#i want to fucking LIVE#fuck
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List of... Business Partners.
A list of people that Azul talks to - as well as their tag! Feel free to request to be added here ^^ Also, please let me know if you'd like to be removed from this.
Romantic Partners
@blanketorghost - Yuu (Yuu Fujisaki)
Yuu, please stop putting yourself in danger. I love you, but it's not safe. I do not want you to get hurt.
General - Canon
@floydleechrp - Floyd
@halfafishandawholehuman - Floyd
@rook-hunt-chasseur-damour - Rook-san
Rook-san is intriguing... I enjoy talking to him.
@idya-shroud - Idia-san
General - OCs/Anons/etc
@blanketorghost - Ghost-san
Please stop trying to blackmail and guilt-trip me. I will not have you spreading lies about me to Yuu.
@incorrectmementomoriquotes - clownfish-san; kantokusei-san clownfish (old)
Why do you always do the craziest - pardon, oddest things?
@blind0raven - Kibby-san
I would appreciate if you did not continue to steal items from Mostro Lounge. And do not go whining to Jade.
@blind0raven - Ravey-san
I enjoy talking to you. Please do not get a bad influence from Kibby-san.
@blind0raven - Yuuki-san
@quartzztwst - Quartz-san
Where do I even begin...
@ggrocks - Sunny-san (new), kantokusei-san 🌻 (old)
No, you are not getting out of working at Mostro Lounge.
Pomefiore Student (L/N) 🪺, Pomefiore Student-san 🪆
How do I get him to perform at... Pardon me, I was just talking to myself.
@gummysharksorbet - Yuuto-san (Yuuto Watson)
@thehollowwriter - Quinn-san
🐀-san
🦊-san
🪸-san
🐬-san
🌹🪴-san
jar-san
comb-san
#kazumi speaks: this is literally for me because i forget to tag people & i forget what they're called#kazumi speaks: 100% likely that i might have missed someone so uh. yeah. sorry-#kazumi speaks: also i lose track of who i've talked to so i need this (me scrolling through my blog to find the people i interacted with-)#kazumi speaks: i'm sorry if i did not add a written portion for you (it just means azul hasn't interacted with you enough)#kazumi speaks: some of the dialogue was thought up when i'm half-asleep i'm sorry if they came out the wrong way-#azul doesn't speak#people masterlist#kazumi speaks: please help idk how to tag this#kazumi speaks: 100% forgetting someone on here (i'm sorry if that's you omg i didn't mean to 😭)#kazumi speaks: ignore that i'm trying to change my tagging system please-
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Idea from tenth grader, don't go on the maths and tech profile in high school only because 'it's gonna pay well' and 'you're good at math'
Or if you do keep the pressure as low as possible
Please
(edit did I just go on a small tag rant lol)
#there's a math exercise for homework asking me to solve a thing that looks easy in two different ways#I don't know how to start the first way#fuck high school#I just wanna theater man#'you're good with numbers' OKAY AND!? THERE ARE NO NUMBERS IN MATH ANYMORE-#literally none of this will be of any use to me EVER#but the lazy ass people in the educational system won't make an actually updated program or whatever that's called#'pay your taxes' 'okay okay but did you know arcctg of -1/rad3 is 2pi/3?'#not to mention physics holy shit#what's gonna pay the bills? the carnot cycle?#and ye I know I picked this profile#I'm not that much of a hypocrite#but COME ON man#lemme rant someimes#just let me half ass it already#ugh#all that the maths and tech profile taught me is that I want nothing to do with neither of them#unless I hit my head or something major changes in the next two and a half years there's no way I'm going on something similar in uni#sorry I literally see no spark in it#'it pays well' good for it I'll go on a diet then
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It *does* hurt that I got let go without any warning (even if I knew it was a possibility, especially since it's the slow season now and they're specifically replacing half of my department with other stuff) *because* I've been looking for other jobs with the plan to do a full two-weeks notice when I found one, and I've been secretly planning this entire time to eventually leave, making things as neat and easy as possible for whoever ends up overseeing my department. I didn't want any of the extra work to fall on my coworkers, the other department managers who have their own workloads. So it really sucks that higher-ups decided that I didn't deserve any warning, and neither did any of my teammates who will now have to pick up all the slack without any guidance from me.
#sorenhoots#it's fine. its fine! its just a liquor store.#stop worrying so much about it please brain PLEASE its fine. they're fine.#its fine it's fine its fine its just a liquor store.#yeah no one will care about my cusotmers and the store wont know to order the special orders anymore but its fine.#the customers will find their alcohol somewhere else or theyll find something different or just give up. it's fine. its just alcohol.#literally worst case scenario is that a customer cant get their favorite wine anymore which is FINE its not the end of the world#i know i put my heart into it and now i feel a little crushed but its fine... it'll be fine. i always knew it was a possibility.#wine departments are always the lowest income. beer and spirits always do better. wine departments always get the first budget cuts.#thats why they never actually gave me a manager salary or health insurance. they didnt want a wine manager. they just needed one until the#holiday season ended. my coworkers will be fine without me.#all the Chardonnay Bob stupidly bought will go on sale in 4-6 years or get thrown away in 8-10 and itll be FINE 💜 its not a big deal.#its not like i stopped Bob from wasting their money anyways. its not like i could. what good is a manager who cant even keep some stupid#fucker from wasting their money on shit thats going to gather dust for a decade and then get thrown out? maybe itll be liquidated if they#decide to stop carrying wine entirely. i couldnt even do my job because they put some idiot in a position above me who fucked up my shit all#the time so why wouldnt they get rid of me?#its fine its fine its fine its fine. ill be fine of course! there are other jobs here actually. ive been looking for a better job for a#while now and turned down some half-decent offers because i had a 3/4th decent job at the time. ill just pick one of the 1/2 decent ones now#and keep looking for something better too. im going to get back into science...!! thats what i really want.#im going to go back to the field i love. itll hurt even worse when the jobs are cruel and stupid but...i dont want anything else.#if im going to be subjected to the stupid-ass system of capitalism and heartless employers then im going to do it in science where i have a#deep and burning passion. ill...just need to try to thicken my skin to the inenvitable horrors of labor and being treated as a machine that#makes a CEO richer. but if im stuck spending my life making a CEO richer then i might as well try to find something i enjoy.
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🥰
#not snz#i got ✨ rescued ✨ yesterday after all lmao#no and i fucking told him to go around so he wouldn't have to drive through literal fucking flame#so i figured from the time he said he was gonna come it was gonna take him like at least three hours#my face when he was there in a little over half an hour#when it's about forty minute drive if you speed#like okay just bc the roads are closed and you CAN go as fast as you want doesn't mean you SHOULD#like i was grateful but wtf was that#and just so we're all on the same page here a shit ton of roads are closed even if you go all the way the fuck around#so no getting my parents to come still wasn't an option bc they would've needed some sort of license to give them access#anyway he hugged me immediately upon seeing me and i told him to stop bc I'm gross and covered in dirt and soot and whatnot#this man did not fucking care 🥺#so then he took me to get proper food first and foremost lmao#then we went back to his place bc it was closer and his roommates were once again Not There#rip to them but they both know trades and decided to work anyway bc so many people are paying so much money rn#and i showered for like a fucking hour trying to scrub all the smoke smell off#then he gave me one of his shirts to wear 🥰#and sweatpants with the drawstring so I'd actually be able to tighten them lmao but even still they were too fucking big#then we just hung out on the couch most of the evening#and I'm congested and keep coughing bc my respiratory system wants to die from the smoke#and i was apologizing half the night and he kept being like stfu lmao#he kept kissing the top of my head and rubbing my back like 🥺#also coming as a surprise to no one i am into med play#so you can imagine how i was feeling when he wanted to make sure i wasn't about to keel over#like stop it you're making it intimate and I'm shy about it lmaoo#also i love that both of our go to thing is 'no I'm worried and need to check myself' lmaoooo#anyway so he checked me over and i feel like i was just going 🥺 the whole time ahdkslls#and then he made me tea and just kept a steady flow of hot drinks and snacks going until we went to the bedroom#and I'm so fucking hoarse now and still coughing and sniffling and my entire body hurts bad but he's being so attentive and gentle like 🥺🥺#partner posting
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If my doctors are all in consensus that I should be on anti-anxiety meds why the hell won't they give me any
#vent#i don't think. it's normal#to agonize over sending texts for a half hour just staring at the screen before hitting send#and then agonize for hours after paranoid that somehow the message has changed and it's now the worst thing i could have ever typed/drawn#and that everyone will hate me forever for sending it#i don't think that's normal probably#this happens literally every time i initiate sending a message#also why I'm so bad at responding sometimes i am. terrified the words i send will not be the words i tried to type#so it's hard to initiate typing them at all#i feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack over literally nothing and this happens every time#delete later#sorry I'm just kinda sick and everything feels bad so I'm trying to get at least a tiny bit of stress out of my system
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This is why I don't want to make friends in the system community. I want to. I do. But I'm sick of being misinterpreted. I'm sick of having to deal with a stranger's triggers. I'm sick of having to fight against someone else's s*scourse opinions. I'm sick of being forced to voice my own.
I just want to have a genuine experience in this community. I want to talk to people who just want to share and discuss their opinions. I don't want to talk to someone who is triggered to the point of struggling to say the right thing.
I've thought about making a discord server for systems. I've thought about it real hard and asked myself if its worth it. Do I put my identity out there for other people to scrutinize? Do I take the risk that some people in this community are actually nice and want to interact with me? Do I talk to people who may start rumors about me, or get all their other system friends to hate me? I truly doubt anyone would be that dedicated or sadistic to do that to a random stranger they just met. But anonymity is important to some extent. Am I willing to risk sharing my voice or appearance to a bunch of strangers that I don't actually know?
It just feels like a mistake trying to reach out to people who won't give me the time of day to have an honest conversation with them. And I'm not talking about one person. Please don't see it that way. I'm saying I don't trust most system blogs who are willing to weaponize their knowledge over someone's feelings. Especially to someone who is likely untreated and unable to receive treatment.
I'm so sick of being in this disingenuous community. I should be allowed to discuss and document my trauma journey without experiencing intense scrutiny and judgement. And I wish it was the same for everyone else.
I reblog posts for discussion and intellectual conversation. I want meaningful interactions. I want to talk about stuff without having to pull up 15 bagillion sources for every fucking word I say.
I'm not here to be scrutinized and judged by strangers all over again, like I'm being abused in an organized fashion. Friends are nice to each other, community members hold some level of respect and etiquette towards each other, let's share more compassion. But until then, I'll be here, with friends, who just happen to be systems.
I'm not going to make friends just because they are systems, I literally can't trust it.
#post.txt#you want to bond over similar experiences? sure!#you want to treat me the same way as you treat your system? what the fuck does that mean?#yeah guess what buddy my system trauma is literally filled with trauma of struggling to make friends#and half of us cant speak#and all of us are autistic#i have trust issues for this community specifically#ill be your system friend as long as you treat other systems like friends and not like coworkers
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Just received a $12,700 hospital bill from the worst and most traumatizing ER visit of my life from last month l m f a o o o
#this was THE most neglectful and shitty hospital ive ever been to and that says a LOT.#they let me scream for 4+ hrs straight in the middle of the night and refused to give me water; only ice chips that tasted sour 🤡#anyway ofc im not paying that + they cant do a damn thing.#im just shocked and appalled at how this added up#5 grand was the ambulance ride and they didnt even put me on the goddamn gurney LMAO they just let me wail in pain on the fucking bench#the other things that rly added up were the most half-assed 'tests' and CT scans ive ever been administered#please keep in mind there were only THREE patients (i was one of them) in the ER bc it was midnight/1 AM on a Wednesday#the nurse's station was fucking BOISTEROUS with laughter though#they just let my screams echo through the halls for HOURS.#and eventually moved the poor lady next to me to another curtain partition on the other side of the room💀#i was so worried the nurses thought i was faking/crocodile tears for a while bc i very literally ran out of fluid to even cry out.#i fucking hate this system#i fucking hate this country.#thoughts
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fingers crossed but it looks like i'm starting to stabilize. i had a relatively normal day yesterday, and while i still had more drastic mood swings than i would have at baseline, i wasn't overly manic and i also didn't feel suicidal when going to bed so i was able to fall asleep pretty quickly and without music at full volume in my headphones. i woke up naturally this morning around 8am instead of 4am or sleeping until someone wakes me up to tell me it's already noon and i feel pretty rested and able to focus. i'm almost caught up on my quantitative reasoning homework assignments and i'll be back up to being ahead of the class content wise.
i see my psychiatrist in a week so i'm going to keep monitoring it and let the new dosage adjust to my system but maybe, just maybe, my bipolar 1 is starting to recede!
#knock on wood and all that stuff#but it's the first day in two months where i just feel like a normal person#i really hope im over the hump on this one#spending two and a half months in fight or flight has absolutely destroyed my nervous system and general body functioning#it has made my chronic pain so bad i feel weak i can't eat solid foods properly like im wasting away because my body can't handle#such rapid changes all the time#but i feel okay today#i also have an idea for my next tattoo that i'll get in a few months once i move out#ive been really attached to the song summertime by my chemical romance through this whole crisis#and theres a line that says 'you can write this on your arm'#and im gonna take that literally#and get 'in the dark' on one arm and 'out of harm' on the other near my elbows#gerard way stopped me from kms many times and its a crime i dont have an mcr tattoo yet tbh#ive wanted one for so long#but now i know exactly what i want#its such a clear image in my mind#anyway im done rambling#ghost.txt#suicidal ideation#<- i mentioned it so im tagging
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truly detest how pcos tags/forums/etc are absolutely crawling with terfs
#(okay to rb but stay in your lane)#maybe i just want to look and see if anyone else has experienced what i went through today without seeing someone going like#'you'll never be a REAL woman because you DON'T HAVE OVARIES#and will NEVER understand the TRUE WOMANLY EXPERIENCE of having A VERY DISRUPTIVE AND COMPLEX ENDOCRINE AND METABOLIC DISORDER'#like i think there are more important (read: actual) targets to direct our frustration at here than#[checks notes] getting mad at a trans woman for saying she relates to some of the problems caused/faced by having pcos#like. idk. the fucking medical system and lack of research/treatment options#(also. christ. reducing every person w pcos into the 'woman' category automatically bc 'ovary'.#even though it's literally an intersex condition. yikes.)#also i don't know about y'all but i don't wish this on anyone? regardless of gender??#i actually don't want trans women to have to experience this in order to be considered a True Woman#because i don't want ANYBODY to have to experience this. it sucks! it's not fucking fun!#i just wanted to try and see if other people have gone through the same thing i have. not expand my blocklist by half a mile tonight.#i wanna talk about me#even though i didn't exactly find what i was looking for (😔) and i had to play fucking whack-a-terf while searching#if there's any bright side to be found it's the number of posts/people affirming pcos as an intersex condition/identity#i saw someone say 'if you don't want the [intersex] umbrella for yourself you don't have to take it#but it's nice to have in the closet for a rainy day'#and. man. yeah.
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