#literally like. it is death itself. it's appearance is personalized to fit our image of death

[wereh0gz]

I hope we get more horrors in Sonic. I hope they become more abstract and beyond our comprehension. I hope Sonic gets to kill them

[celestefem]

On Systems, Activism, and the Individual

People seem to struggle to recognize and understand the underlying systems that hold together our world. Furthermore, there seems to be a widespread misunderstanding of what it actually means for something to be a social construct.

This is likely because an individual can only see a small segment of the world for themself: they're only familiar with their own life and what is happening around them. Yes, certain advancements such as books and social media have definitely expanded the average person's view of the world compared to, say, a medieval peasant, but the fact remains that it is impossible for an individual to truly see every piece of the puzzle at once. Instead, what is happening more and more frequently, is that people are assuming that they are alone in their experiences, that they live in a personal individualized bubble that somehow shuts out the pressures of the outside world. Their thoughts are simply their own, unrelated to outside influences. The world, as it is, exists separately to what's in their heads.

But an individual is as much a part of the systems making up the world as, say, a blade of grass or an insect – that is to say, they are simultaneously a product of the world and play a vital role in its perpetuation, whether they notice it or not. It's impossible to simply 'opt out' of material reality: even in death, they take part in the decay cycle, producing nutrients for other creatures.

In school, we learn about natural and manmade cycles, separately, in subjects ranging from biology to ecology to economics to the social sciences and more. Our learning of the Krebs cycle is unrelated to the Law of Supply and Demand, which is unrelated to the population cycle of a specific species of native insect, which is unrelated to social systems and systemic oppression in humans, which is — and so on. Keeping this in mind, it would make sense that people apply this same logic to the concept of a system itself: believing that each individual step can take place independently, as if on a separate page of a textbook. In reality, however, everything is a confounding variable, unable to be removed or changed without causing massive changes in every other part of the world.

Still, there is a major difference between natural and man-made systems: social constructs have no true foundation and, thus, can change overtime. Humans are completely powerless to, for example, stop the Earth's rotation and make the Sun stop "rising" or any other natural event,  but it is, hypothetically, possible to dissect and dissolve systemic inequalities in our society.

The reason why I'm writing this is because, as I said earlier, there seems to be a strange tendency to shift focus away from these social constructs and their effects and, instead, say that everything hinges solely on the individual and their "personal choices."

A classic example is beauty culture, in which people (mostly women) are pressured into believing that something is wrong with their natural appearance, that they have to wear makeup or get cosmetic surgeries or wear the latest fashions or whatever else to better fit some ideal cultural image. These women vehemently deny this, though, and insist that everything they do is strictly for themselves because they personally like it or because it feels "empowering."

They fail to realize that you are subtly rewarded for playing along with these societal expectations and punished for defying them – if you notice that people treat you better when you wear makeup compared to when you don't, that's not a choice. If you spend all your time worrying about your appearance and wanting to seem 'presentable' to an audience (whether it's your Instagram followers or simply the other shoppers at the grocery store), it's not a choice. That's not even mentioning blind women or even women who are literally in labor who still feel pressured to have perfect makeup!  

I want to reiterate: I'm not judging these women or looking down on them in anyway. But these ideas, as prevalent as they are, show the extent to which women (as a class) are objectified, and how they are forced into participating in their own objectification. It recalls that famous quote from Margret Atwood: “You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur.” It feels like there's something external to you, watching you and judging you; and that feeling persists even when alone.

That leads into the most nefarious thing about beauty culture: it doesn't exist only in the individual, but goes on to affect everyone around them as well. For example, in 2018, Youtuber Strange Aeons got a nosejob. Here are some of the comments under her video:

When one person shows that they're upset with how they look, it makes other people with similar features also feel uncomfortable or just increase their self-consciousness, y'know? It's a never-ending cycle.

Also, this following person brought up an interesting point that I'd like to address:

In Martha C. Nussbaum's article, "The Professor of Parody: The hip defeatism of Judith Butler," Nussbaum explains how, in Butler's view, societal change is impossible and, furthermore, it's not even worth trying. The above comment by Monkeybean29 seems to express a similar sentiment, acknowledging that these societal standards are harmful, but just giving up rather than fighting against them: if the individual can't change society, then it's the individual who should be changed. What kind of message is that?!

As Nussbaum says shortly after, we have seen through history that conditions for marginalized groups can definitely improve, but only when people are actually determined to bring about the change (ex: the Civil Rights movement and the dissolution of racial segregation in the US, Suffragists securing women's right to vote, improved laws in regards to holding rapists responsible, etc). In comparison, we're currently in a time with a self-proclaimed focus on "social justice," but it's completely toothless and resigned. For example, you see often in Twitter threads the idea that "it's [current year], for god's sake!" with the implication that we are 'socially beyond' any other time in history and expressing incredulousness at someone being openly racist, sexist, homophobic, etc, because, simply, we're in the modern world now and everything should be different! I mean, we have gay marriage and legal protections now! The war is over and we've won! People should know better!

All too often, we see people who only pay lip service to the causes they claim to believe in, without actually questioning anything. Their activism stops in empty words and consumerism. To see this in action, let's take another look at what Monkeybean29 said above:

As a trans person with dysphoria I kind of relate to this....Im planning on getting top surgery in August and im rlly excited but its weird because im big into body positivity and loving your body and giving society the middle finger for making you feel like ur appearance is wrong, and yet here I am getting my titties chopped off because I feel like no one will see me as anything but a girl if i have em! Honestly I think its kind of like, its not our jobs to try to undo all of the shit that we have learned about what beauty is all the time, since Im never gonna be comfy with having tiddies and u were never gonna be comfy with ur nose and like sure that might be because of societal beauty standards or whatever but that doesnt help with the mental affects of being unhappy with how you look. Sorry this is kinda rambly lol but i appreciate this video as a trans person. also PEEL THE TIDDY

Like, I understand and sympathize with their dysphoria and struggling from societal pressures, but their self-proclaimed values directly conflict! You literally can't "giv[e] society the middle finger for making you feel like ur appearance is wrong" and simultaneously say, "its not our jobs to try to undo all of the shit that we have learned about what beauty is all the time." What does it even mean to be "body positive" if it doesn't involve, at the very least, questioning beauty standards??

So far, I've mostly just talked about the personal front, but it's also important to keep in mind how corporate bs factors into all of this. Companies have realized that social and ecological awareness is really "in" at the moment. Every June, waves of corporate Twitter accounts change to their seasonal rainbow icons and sell rainbow merch, despite, in some cases, still donating large amounts of money to anti-LGBT lawmakers. Fast fashion companies, like, H&M, open "eco-friendly" lines and adapt the language of eco-protests, despite a) the concept of fast fashion (and in fact, any form of consumerism) being inherently contrary to ecological consciousness, and b) there being no actual regulations or definition of what it means for a product to be "eco-friendly," to begin with. Similarly, many companies posted messages on social media in support of Black Lives Matter and condemning racial injustice in the wake of George Floyd's murder, but then turn out to have little diversity in high-ranking positions or otherwise have a history of discriminating against Black employees.

These situations, in which progress has "apparently" been made (ie: there appears to be widespread support for marginalized groups or other activist causes, as seen on social media), just serve to lead people into a sense of false security, like I talked about earlier. Everyone seems to care about this problem and there are even legal changes being made, so everything is solved! We can give up! This is even worse than defeatism, honestly! At least when someone is simply defeated, they can still acknowledge that there's a problem to begin with!

For example, Iceland is often held up as one of the most sexually equal countries in the world. More specifically, Iceland has consistently topped the charts of the Global Gender Gap Report 2022, which measures things like the ratio of women to men in regards to employment or government positions, for the last several years. There are numerous articles, like Huffington post's "To Solve America's Sexism, Make Workplaces More Like Iceland's," which repeatedly calls Iceland a "feminist fairy tale." But, the reality is much different. In Ivana Kottasová's article for CNN, "‘The world’s best place to be a woman’ is being sued for misogyny," she talks about how Iceland has some of the highest rates of violence against women in the world, with 40% of Icelandic women reporting being physically or sexually abused in their life compared to a global average of 30%.

“The idea that Iceland is a feminist paradise has been shoved down our throats since we were little kids: ‘Why are you so angry? Do you see these women in the third world countries? … You have it so good,’” said Ólöf Tara, one of the women involved in [Öfgar, an Icelandic feminist group devoted to educating people about domestic violence and rape culture].

“But the violence that women have been facing throughout the years, we never had the power to raise our voice about it. Violence thrives in silence, because if you speak out, somebody connects with your story and realizes this is their story too and then they may go and start seeking help and break the pattern, because it is a generational pattern. I got it from my mom and my mom got it from her mom, like my grandmother from her mom, and I’m gonna carry it to my kids if we don’t speak and talk about it,” Hulda Hrund Sigmundsdóttir added.

It's so important to remember that people don't just somehow unlearn these underlying prejudices built into our culture from the beginning of time magically overnight. It isn't enough to simply identify as someone who is against harmful social structures – simply calling ourselves "feminist" or "anti-racist" or "LGBT-ally," etc, doesn't actually do anything to fight against those structures. It's necessary to research the history of these social structures, understand how they're upheld, and take conscious action against these systems – whether it's by participating in protests against injustice, helping to support members of marginalized communities (like, buying from small businesses, if possible), or educating yourself and others, etc.

In summary, the very nature of systems makes it so one cannot simply 'opt out.' As humans, we are affected and influenced by both natural and manmade systems, of which the major difference is that manmade structures can change while the overall forces of nature cannot. Still, these changes cannot be made by empty passive statements or simply pretending that the problems you want to solve don't exist at all. If you want to make change, it's necessary to first dissect the issue (what is the full extent of the problem? what underlying structures and systems have led to these issues? in what ways are you participating or complicit in these systems?, etc) and consciously take action based on what you have realized, and continue to do so.

[qqueenofhades]

The Green Knight and Medieval Metatextuality: An Essay

Right, so. Finally watched it last night, and I’ve been thinking about it literally ever since, except for the part where I was asleep. As I said to fellow medievalist and admirer of Dev Patel @oldshrewsburyian, it’s possibly the most fascinating piece of medieval-inspired media that I’ve seen in ages, and how refreshing to have something in this genre that actually rewards critical thought and deep analysis, rather than me just fulminating fruitlessly about how popular media thinks that slapping blood, filth, and misogyny onto some swords and castles is “historically accurate.” I read a review of TGK somewhere that described it as the anti-Game of Thrones, and I’m inclined to think that’s accurate. I didn’t agree with all of the film’s tonal, thematic, or interpretative choices, but I found them consistently stylish, compelling, and subversive in ways both small and large, and I’m gonna have to write about it or I’ll go crazy. So. Brace yourselves.

(Note: My PhD is in medieval history, not medieval literature, and I haven’t worked on SGGK specifically, but I am familiar with it, its general cultural context, and the historical influences, images, and debates that both the poem and the film referenced and drew upon, so that’s where this meta is coming from.)

First, obviously, while the film is not a straight-up text-to-screen version of the poem (though it is by and large relatively faithful), it is a multi-layered meta-text that comments on the original Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, the archetypes of chivalric literature as a whole, modern expectations for medieval films, the hero’s journey, the requirements of being an “honorable knight,” and the nature of death, fate, magic, and religion, just to name a few. Given that the Arthurian legendarium, otherwise known as the Matter of Britain, was written and rewritten over several centuries by countless authors, drawing on and changing and hybridizing interpretations that sometimes challenged or outright contradicted earlier versions, it makes sense for the film to chart its own path and make its own adaptational decisions as part of this multivalent, multivocal literary canon. Sir Gawain himself is a canonically and textually inconsistent figure; in the movie, the characters merrily pronounce his name in several different ways, most notably as Sean Harris/King Arthur’s somewhat inexplicable “Garr-win.” He might be a man without a consistent identity, but that’s pointed out within the film itself. What has he done to define himself, aside from being the king’s nephew? Is his quixotic quest for the Green Knight actually going to resolve the question of his identity and his honor – and if so, is it even going to matter, given that successful completion of the “game” seemingly equates with death?

Likewise, as the anti-Game of Thrones, the film is deliberately and sometimes maddeningly non-commercial. For an adaptation coming from a studio known primarily for horror, it almost completely eschews the cliché that gory bloodshed equals authentic medievalism; the only graphic scene is the Green Knight’s original beheading. The violence is only hinted at, subtextual, suspenseful; it is kept out of sight, around the corner, never entirely played out or resolved. In other words, if anyone came in thinking that they were going to watch Dev Patel luridly swashbuckle his way through some CGI monsters like bad Beowulf adaptations of yore, they were swiftly disappointed. In fact, he seems to spend most of his time being wet, sad, and failing to meet the moment at hand (with a few important exceptions).

The film unhurriedly evokes a medieval setting that is both surreal and defiantly non-historical. We travel (in roughly chronological order) from Anglo-Saxon huts to Romanesque halls to high-Gothic cathedrals to Tudor villages and half-timbered houses, culminating in the eerie neo-Renaissance splendor of the Lord and Lady’s hall, before returning to the ancient trees of the Green Chapel and its immortal occupant: everything that has come before has now returned to dust. We have been removed even from imagined time and place and into a moment where it ceases to function altogether. We move forward, backward, and sideways, as Gawain experiences past, present, and future in unison. He is dislocated from his own sense of himself, just as we, the viewers, are dislocated from our sense of what is the “true” reality or filmic narrative; what we think is real turns out not to be the case at all. If, of course, such a thing even exists at all.

This visual evocation of the entire medieval era also creates a setting that, unlike GOT, takes pride in rejecting absolutely all political context or Machiavellian maneuvering. The film acknowledges its own cultural ubiquity and the question of whether we really need yet another King Arthur adaptation: none of the characters aside from Gawain himself are credited by name. We all know it’s Arthur, but he’s listed only as “king.” We know the spooky druid-like old man with the white beard is Merlin, but it’s never required to spell it out. The film gestures at our pre-existing understanding; it relies on us to fill in the gaps, cuing us to collaboratively produce the story with it, positioning us as listeners as if we were gathered to hear the original poem. Just like fanfiction, it knows that it doesn’t need to waste time introducing every single character or filling in ultimately unnecessary background knowledge, when the audience can be relied upon to bring their own.

As for that, the film explicitly frames itself as a “filmed adaptation of the chivalric romance” in its opening credits, and continues to play with textual referents and cues throughout: telling us where we are, what’s happening, or what’s coming next, rather like the rubrics or headings within a medieval manuscript. As noted, its historical/architectural references span the entire medieval European world, as does its costume design. I was particularly struck by the fact that Arthur and Guinevere’s crowns resemble those from illuminated monastic manuscripts or Eastern Orthodox iconography: they are both crown and halo, they confer an air of both secular kingship and religious sanctity. The question in the film’s imagined epilogue thus becomes one familiar to Shakespeare’s Henry V: heavy is the head that wears the crown. Does Gawain want to earn his uncle’s crown, take over his place as king, bear the fate of Camelot, become a great ruler, a husband and father in ways that even Arthur never did, only to see it all brought to dust by his cowardice, his reliance on unscrupulous sorcery, and his unfulfilled promise to the Green Knight? Is it better to have that entire life and then lose it, or to make the right choice now, even if it means death?

Likewise, Arthur’s kingly mantle is Byzantine in inspiration, as is the icon of the Virgin Mary-as-Theotokos painted on Gawain’s shield (which we see broken apart during the attack by the scavengers). The film only glances at its religious themes rather than harping on them explicitly; we do have the cliché scene of the male churchmen praying for Gawain’s safety, opposite Gawain’s mother and her female attendants working witchcraft to protect him. (When oh when will I get my film that treats medieval magic and medieval religion as the complementary and co-existing epistemological systems that they were, rather than portraying them as diametrically binary and disparagingly gendered opposites?) But despite the interim setbacks borne from the failure of Christian icons, the overall resolution of the film could serve as the culmination of a medieval Christian morality tale: Gawain can buy himself a great future in the short term if he relies on the protection of the enchanted green belt to avoid the Green Knight’s killing stroke, but then he will have to watch it all crumble until he is sitting alone in his own hall, his children dead and his kingdom destroyed, as a headless corpse who only now has been brave enough to accept his proper fate. By removing the belt from his person in the film’s Inception-like final scene, he relinquishes the taint of black magic and regains his religious honor, even at the likely cost of death. That, the medieval Christian morality tale would agree, is the correct course of action.

Gawain’s encounter with St. Winifred likewise presents a more subtle vision of medieval Christianity. Winifred was an eighth-century Welsh saint known for being beheaded, after which (by the power of another saint) her head was miraculously restored to her body and she went on to live a long and holy life. It doesn’t quite work that way in TGK. (St Winifred’s Well is mentioned in the original SGGK, but as far as I recall, Gawain doesn’t meet the saint in person.) In the film, Gawain encounters Winifred’s lifelike apparition, who begs him to dive into the mere and retrieve her head (despite appearances, she warns him, it is not attached to her body). This fits into the pattern of medieval ghost stories, where the dead often return to entreat the living to help them finish their business; they must be heeded, but when they are encountered in places they shouldn’t be, they must be put back into their proper physical space and reminded of their real fate. Gawain doesn’t follow William of Newburgh’s practical recommendation to just fetch some brawny young men with shovels to beat the wandering corpse back into its grave. Instead, in one of his few moments of unqualified heroism, he dives into the dark water and retrieves Winifred’s skull from the bottom of the lake. Then when he returns to the house, he finds the rest of her skeleton lying in the bed where he was earlier sleeping, and carefully reunites the skull with its body, finally allowing it to rest in peace.

However, Gawain’s involvement with Winifred doesn’t end there. The fox that he sees on the bank after emerging with her skull, who then accompanies him for the rest of the film, is strongly implied to be her spirit, or at least a companion that she has sent for him. Gawain has handled a saint’s holy bones; her relics, which were well known to grant protection in the medieval world. He has done the saint a service, and in return, she extends her favor to him. At the end of the film, the fox finally speaks in a human voice, warning him not to proceed to the fateful final encounter with the Green Knight; it will mean his death. The symbolism of having a beheaded saint serve as Gawain’s guide and protector is obvious, since it is the fate that may or may not lie in store for him. As I said, the ending is Inception-like in that it steadfastly refuses to tell you if the hero is alive (or will live) or dead (or will die). In the original SGGK, of course, the Green Knight and the Lord turn out to be the same person, Gawain survives, it was all just a test of chivalric will and honor, and a trap put together by Morgan Le Fay in an attempt to frighten Guinevere. It’s essentially able to be laughed off: a game, an adventure, not real. TGK takes this paradigm and flips it (to speak…) on its head.

Gawain’s rescue of Winifred’s head also rewards him in more immediate terms: his/the Green Knight’s axe, stolen by the scavengers, is miraculously restored to him in her cottage, immediately and concretely demonstrating the virtue of his actions. This is one of the points where the film most stubbornly resists modern storytelling conventions: it simply refuses to add in any kind of “rational” or “empirical” explanation of how else it got there, aside from the grace and intercession of the saint. This is indeed how it works in medieval hagiography: things simply reappear, are returned, reattached, repaired, made whole again, and Gawain’s lost weapon is thus restored, symbolizing that he has passed the test and is worthy to continue with the quest. The film’s narrative is not modernizing its underlying medieval logic here, and it doesn’t particularly care if a modern audience finds it “convincing” or not. As noted, the film never makes any attempt to temporalize or localize itself; it exists in a determinedly surrealist and ahistorical landscape, where naked female giants who look suspiciously like Tilda Swinton roam across the wild with no necessary explanation. While this might be frustrating for some people, I actually found it a huge relief that a clearly fantastic and fictional literary adaptation was not acting like it was qualified to teach “real history” to its audience. Nobody would come out of TGK thinking that they had seen the “actual” medieval world, and since we have enough of a problem with that sort of thing thanks to GOT, I for one welcome the creation of a medieval imaginative space that embraces its eccentric and unrealistic elements, rather than trying to fit them into the Real Life box.

This plays into the fact that the film, like a reused medieval manuscript containing more than one text, is a palimpsest: for one, it audaciously rewrites the entire Arthurian canon in the wordless vision of Gawain’s life after escaping the Green Knight (I could write another meta on that dream-epilogue alone). It moves fluidly through time and creates alternate universes in at least two major points: one, the scene where Gawain is tied up and abandoned by the scavengers and that long circling shot reveals his skeletal corpse rotting on the sward, only to return to our original universe as Gawain decides that he doesn’t want that fate, and two, Gawain as King. In this alternate ending, Arthur doesn’t die in battle with Mordred, but peaceably in bed, having anointed his worthy nephew as his heir. Gawain becomes king, has children, gets married, governs Camelot, becomes a ruler surpassing even Arthur, but then watches his son get killed in battle, his subjects turn on him, and his family vanish into the dust of his broken hall before he himself, in despair, pulls the enchanted scarf out of his clothing and succumbs to his fate.

In this version, Gawain takes on the responsibility for the fall of Camelot, not Arthur. This is the hero’s burden, but he’s obtained it dishonorably, by cheating. It is a vivid but mimetic future which Gawain (to all appearances) ultimately rejects, returning the film to the realm of traditional Arthurian canon – but not quite. After all, if Gawain does get beheaded after that final fade to black, it would represent a significant alteration from the poem and the character’s usual arc. Are we back in traditional canon or aren’t we? Did Gawain reject that future or didn’t he? Do all these alterities still exist within the visual medium of the meta-text, and have any of them been definitely foreclosed?

Furthermore, the film interrogates itself and its own tropes in explicit and overt ways. In Gawain’s conversation with the Lord, the Lord poses the question that many members of the audience might have: is Gawain going to carry out this potentially pointless and suicidal quest and then be an honorable hero, just like that? What is he actually getting by staggering through assorted Irish bogs and seeming to reject, rather than embrace, the paradigms of a proper quest and that of an honorable knight? He lies about being a knight to the scavengers, clearly out of fear, and ends up cravenly bound and robbed rather than fighting back. He denies knowing anything about love to the Lady (played by Alicia Vikander, who also plays his lover at the start of the film with a decidedly ropey Yorkshire accent, sorry to say). He seems to shrink from the responsibility thrust on him, rather than rise to meet it (his only honorable act, retrieving Winifred’s head, is discussed above) and yet here he still is, plugging away. Why is he doing this? What does he really stand to gain, other than accepting a choice and its consequences (somewhat?) The film raises these questions, but it has no plans to answer them. It’s going to leave you to think about them for yourself, and it isn’t going to spoon-feed you any ultimate moral or neat resolution. In this interchange, it’s easy to see both the echoes of a formal dialogue between two speakers (a favored medieval didactic tactic) and the broader purpose of chivalric literature: to interrogate what it actually means to be a knight, how personal honor is generated, acquired, and increased, and whether engaging in these pointless and bloody “war games” is actually any kind of real path to lasting glory.

The film’s treatment of race, gender, and queerness obviously also merits comment. By casting Dev Patel, an Indian-born actor, as an Arthurian hero, the film is… actually being quite accurate to the original legends, doubtless much to the disappointment of assorted internet racists. The thirteenth-century Arthurian romance Parzival (Percival) by the German poet Wolfram von Eschenbach notably features the character of Percival’s mixed-race half-brother, Feirefiz, son of their father by his first marriage to a Muslim princess. Feirefiz is just as heroic as Percival (Gawaine, for the record, also plays a major role in the story) and assists in the quest for the Holy Grail, though it takes his conversion to Christianity for him to properly behold it.

By introducing Patel (and Sarita Chowdhury as Morgause) to the visual representation of Arthuriana, the film quietly does away with the “white Middle Ages” cliché that I have complained about ad nauseam; we see background Asian and black members of Camelot, who just exist there without having to conjure up some complicated rationale to explain their presence. The Lady also uses a camera obscura to make Gawain’s portrait. Contrary to those who might howl about anachronism, this technique was known in China as early as the fourth century BCE and the tenth/eleventh century Islamic scholar Ibn al-Haytham was probably the best-known medieval authority to write on it extensively; Latin translations of his work inspired European scientists from Roger Bacon to Leonardo da Vinci. Aside from the symbolism of an upside-down Gawain (and when he sees the portrait again during the ‘fall of Camelot’, it is right-side-up, representing that Gawain himself is in an upside-down world), this presents a subtle challenge to the prevailing Eurocentric imagination of the medieval world, and draws on other global influences.

As for gender, we have briefly touched on it above; in the original SGGK, Gawain’s entire journey is revealed to be just a cruel trick of Morgan Le Fay, simply trying to destabilize Arthur’s court and upset his queen. (Morgan is the old blindfolded woman who appears in the Lord and Lady’s castle and briefly approaches Gawain, but her identity is never explicitly spelled out.) This is, obviously, an implicitly misogynistic setup: an evil woman plays a trick on honorable men for the purpose of upsetting another woman, the honorable men overcome it, the hero survives, and everyone presumably lives happily ever after (at least until Mordred arrives).

Instead, by plunging the outcome into doubt and the hero into a much darker and more fallible moral universe, TGK shifts the blame for Gawain’s adventure and ultimate fate from Morgan to Gawain himself. Likewise, Guinevere is not the passive recipient of an evil deception but in a way, the catalyst for the whole thing. She breaks the seal on the Green Knight’s message with a weighty snap; she becomes the oracle who reads it out, she is alarming rather than alarmed, she disrupts the complacency of the court and silently shows up all the other knights who refuse to step forward and answer the Green Knight’s challenge. Gawain is not given the ontological reassurance that it’s just a practical joke and he’s going to be fine (and thanks to the unresolved ending, neither are we). The film instead takes the concept at face value in order to push the envelope and ask the simple question: if a man was going to be actually-for-real beheaded in a year, why would he set out on a suicidal quest? Would you, in Gawain’s place, make the same decision to cast aside the enchanted belt and accept your fate? Has he made his name, will he be remembered well? What is his legacy?

Indeed, if there is any hint of feminine connivance and manipulation, it arrives in the form of the implication that Gawain’s mother has deliberately summoned the Green Knight to test her son, prove his worth, and position him as his childless uncle’s heir; she gives him the protective belt to make sure he won’t actually die, and her intention all along was for the future shown in the epilogue to truly play out (minus the collapse of Camelot). Only Gawain loses the belt thanks to his cowardice in the encounter with the scavengers, regains it in a somewhat underhanded and morally questionable way when the Lady is attempting to seduce him, and by ultimately rejecting it altogether and submitting to his uncertain fate, totally mucks up his mother’s painstaking dynastic plans for his future. In this reading, Gawain could be king, and his mother’s efforts are meant to achieve that goal, rather than thwart it. He is thus required to shoulder his own responsibility for this outcome, rather than conveniently pawning it off on an “evil woman,” and by extension, the film asks the question: What would the world be like if men, especially those who make war on others as a way of life, were actually forced to face the consequences of their reckless and violent actions? Is it actually a “game” in any sense of the word, especially when chivalric literature is constantly preoccupied with the question of how much glorious violence is too much glorious violence? If you structure social prestige for the king and the noble male elite entirely around winning battles and existing in a state of perpetual war, when does that begin to backfire and devour the knightly class – and the rest of society – instead?

This leads into the central theme of Gawain’s relationships with the Lord and Lady, and how they’re treated in the film. The poem has been repeatedly studied in terms of its latent (and sometimes… less than latent) queer subtext: when the Lord asks Gawain to pay back to him whatever he should receive from his wife, does he already know what this involves; i.e. a physical and romantic encounter? When the Lady gives kisses to Gawain, which he is then obliged to return to the Lord as a condition of the agreement, is this all part of a dastardly plot to seduce him into a kinky green-themed threesome with a probably-not-human married couple looking to spice up their sex life? Why do we read the Lady’s kisses to Gawain as romantic but Gawain’s kisses to the Lord as filial, fraternal, or the standard “kiss of peace” exchanged between a liege lord and his vassal? Is Gawain simply being a dutiful guest by honoring the bargain with his host, actually just kissing the Lady again via the proxy of her husband, or somewhat more into this whole thing with the Lord than he (or the poet) would like to admit? Is the homosocial turning homoerotic, and how is Gawain going to navigate this tension and temptation?

If the question is never resolved: well, welcome to one of the central medieval anxieties about chivalry, knighthood, and male bonds! As I have written about before, medieval society needed to simultaneously exalt this as the most honored and noble form of love, and make sure it didn’t accidentally turn sexual (once again: how much male love is too much male love?). Does the poem raise the possibility of serious disruption to the dominant heteronormative paradigm, only to solve the problem by interpreting the Gawain/Lady male/female kisses as romantic and sexual and the Gawain/Lord male/male kisses as chaste and formal? In other words, acknowledging the underlying anxiety of possible homoeroticism but ultimately reasserting the heterosexual norm? The answer: Probably?!?! Maybe?!?! Hell if we know??! To say the least, this has been argued over to no end, and if you locked a lot of medieval history/literature scholars into a room and told them that they couldn’t come out until they decided on one clear answer, they would be in there for a very long time. The poem seemingly invokes the possibility of a queer reading only to reject it – but once again, as in the question of which canon we end up in at the film’s end, does it?

In some lights, the film’s treatment of this potential queer reading comes off like a cop-out: there is only one kiss between Gawain and the Lord, and it is something that the Lord has to initiate after Gawain has already fled the hall. Gawain himself appears to reject it; he tells the Lord to let go of him and runs off into the wilderness, rather than deal with or accept whatever has been suggested to him. However, this fits with film!Gawain’s pattern of rejecting that which fundamentally makes him who he is; like Peter in the Bible, he has now denied the truth three times. With the scavengers he denies being a knight; with the Lady he denies knowing about courtly love; with the Lord he denies the central bond of brotherhood with his fellows, whether homosocial or homoerotic in nature. I would go so far as to argue that if Gawain does die at the end of the film, it is this rejected kiss which truly seals his fate. In the poem, the Lord and the Green Knight are revealed to be the same person; in the film, it’s not clear if that’s the case, or they are separate characters, even if thematically interrelated. If we assume, however, that the Lord is in fact still the human form of the Green Knight, then Gawain has rejected both his kiss of peace (the standard gesture of protection offered from lord to vassal) and any deeper emotional bond that it can be read to signify. The Green Knight could decide to spare Gawain in recognition of the courage he has shown in relinquishing the enchanted belt – or he could just as easily decide to kill him, which he is legally free to do since Gawain has symbolically rejected the offer of brotherhood, vassalage, or knight-bonding by his unwise denial of the Lord’s freely given kiss. Once again, the film raises the overall thematic and moral question and then doesn’t give one straight (ahem) answer. As with the medieval anxieties and chivalric texts that it is based on, it invokes the specter of queerness and then doesn’t neatly resolve it. As a modern audience, we find this unsatisfying, but once again, the film is refusing to conform to our expectations.

As has been said before, there is so much kissing between men in medieval contexts, both ceremonial and otherwise, that we’re left to wonder: “is it gay or is it feudalism?” Is there an overtly erotic element in Gawain and the Green Knight’s mutual “beheading” of each other (especially since in the original version, this frees the Lord from his curse, functioning like a true love’s kiss in a fairytale). While it is certainly possible to argue that the film has “straightwashed” its subject material by removing the entire sequence of kisses between Gawain and the Lord and the unresolved motives for their existence, it is a fairly accurate, if condensed, representation of the anxieties around medieval knightly bonds and whether, as Carolyn Dinshaw put it, a (male/male) “kiss is just a kiss.” After all, the kiss between Gawain and the Lady is uncomplicatedly read as sexual/romantic, and that context doesn’t go away when Gawain is kissing the Lord instead. Just as with its multiple futurities, the film leaves the question open-ended. Is it that third and final denial that seals Gawain’s fate, and if so, is it asking us to reflect on why, specifically, he does so?

The film could play with both this question and its overall tone quite a bit more: it sometimes comes off as a grim, wooden, over-directed Shakespearean tragedy, rather than incorporating the lively and irreverent tone that the poem often takes. It’s almost totally devoid of humor, which is unfortunate, and the Grim Middle Ages aesthetic is in definite evidence. Nonetheless, because of the comprehensive de-historicizing and the obvious lack of effort to claim the film as any sort of authentic representation of the medieval past, it works. We are not meant to understand this as a historical document, and so we have to treat it on its terms, by its own logic, and by its own frames of reference. In some ways, its consistent opacity and its refusal to abide by modern rules and common narrative conventions is deliberately meant to challenge us: as before, when we recognize Arthur, Merlin, the Round Table, and the other stock characters because we know them already and not because the film tells us so, we have to fill in the gaps ourselves. We are watching the film not because it tells us a simple adventure story – there is, as noted, shockingly little action overall – but because we have to piece together the metatext independently and ponder the philosophical questions that it leaves us with. What conclusion do we reach? What canon do we settle in? What future or resolution is ultimately made real? That, the film says, it can’t decide for us. As ever, it is up to future generations to carry on the story, and decide how, if at all, it is going to survive.

(And to close, I desperately want them to make my much-coveted Bisclavret adaptation now in more or less the same style, albeit with some tweaks. Please.)

Further Reading

Ailes, Marianne J. ‘The Medieval Male Couple and the Language of Homosociality’, in Masculinity in Medieval Europe, ed. by Dawn M. Hadley (Harlow: Longman, 1999), pp. 214–37.

Ashton, Gail. ‘The Perverse Dynamics of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, Arthuriana 15 (2005), 51–74.

Boyd, David L. ‘Sodomy, Misogyny, and Displacement: Occluding Queer Desire in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, Arthuriana 8 (1998), 77–113.

Busse, Peter. ‘The Poet as Spouse of his Patron: Homoerotic Love in Medieval Welsh and Irish Poetry?’, Studi Celtici 2 (2003), 175–92.

Dinshaw, Carolyn. ‘A Kiss Is Just a Kiss: Heterosexuality and Its Consolations in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, Diacritics 24 (1994), 205–226.

Kocher, Suzanne. ‘Gay Knights in Medieval French Fiction: Constructs of Queerness and Non-Transgression’, Mediaevalia 29 (2008), 51–66.

Karras, Ruth Mazo. ‘Knighthood, Compulsory Heterosexuality, and Sodomy’ in The Boswell Thesis: Essays on Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality, ed. Matthew Kuefler (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2006), pp. 273–86.

Kuefler, Matthew. ‘Male Friendship and the Suspicion of Sodomy in Twelfth-Century France’, in The Boswell Thesis: Essays on Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality, ed. Matthew Kuefler (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2006), pp. 179–214.

McVitty, E. Amanda, ‘False Knights and True Men: Contesting Chivalric Masculinity in English Treason Trials, 1388–1415,’ Journal of Medieval History 40 (2014), 458–77.

Mieszkowski, Gretchen. ‘The Prose Lancelot's Galehot, Malory's Lavain, and the Queering of Late Medieval Literature’, Arthuriana 5 (1995), 21–51.

Moss, Rachel E. ‘ “And much more I am soryat for my good knyghts’ ”: Fainting, Homosociality, and Elite Male Culture in Middle English Romance’, Historical Reflections / Réflexions historiques 42 (2016), 101–13.

Zeikowitz, Richard E. ‘Befriending the Medieval Queer: A Pedagogy for Literature Classes’, College English 65 (2002), 67–80.

[cadaceus]

C2E141

One last time, y’all. This campaign and these characters have meant so much to me, and this seven hour finale was definitely an emotional rollercoaster. (Yes, I shed actual tears at one point, which rarely happens to me with media. But this is a special occasion.) These liveblogs are nearly as long as the episode itself, so grab a snack! With that being said, here are my very last liveblogs for Campaign 2 of Critical Role. As always, major spoilers below, so beware. 

- Veth taking a level in Wizard, god I am really gonna cry ten minutes into this thing...  😭

- We got our first “stay with us” to Essek, I am emo...

- I was fully not expecting to say goodbye to Frumpkin, but now I’m on the verge of tears... farewell dear fey friend (Marisha saying “that wasn’t supposed to be what broke me” me too me too)

- “You’re a good person.” “I could be.” “You are.”

- “I think you’re a good person” I never thought that I’d hear Beau say that about Essek and this genuinely might be what breaks me... she thinks he’s a good person.... redemption is possible.... maybe love is real....

- If I end up crying over wizards, look away

- Jester lifting up Fjord’s arm to snuggle beneath it made me say “awww” out loud  🥺

- VETH GOING FOR A DIP IN THE POND, I AM GENUINELY SO PROUD OF HER

- “Aahhh!! It’s me! Your wife!” I am going to miss Jester’s sending so much

- Okay that accent bit was so funny, I am going to miss all of them so much

- REAL MOLLY IS BACK REAL MOLLY IS BACK REAL MOLLY IS BACK

- Oh but he doesn’t remember them... and Yasha is trying so hard to help him remember, it’s so so sweet 

- Something about the way he said “Tealeaf’s nice” made me tear up... I was neutral on Mollymauk early campaign because I went into things knowing that he passed away, but this whole conversation with the Mighty Nein is So Much. Also “Kingsley Tealeaf” 

- “Everyone should have a brother” as someone with three of them, I vouch for this  🥺

- a) I love Marion Lavorre (and Jester ofc!) so very much and b) I can’t believe that Jester’s parent trap actually worked??

- “I do not think Exandria is ready for how you’re going to change it” got to me... and it’s also so true. jester has already changed the world just by being kind.

- Good bye Marion... I love and will miss you so much! (And many thanks to Laura and Matt for creating an agoraphic single mother who raised a wonderful child <3)

- Beau and Jester teasing Marion for having a complicated relationship with Babenon reminds me of Caleb saying he has a complicated relationship with Essek...

- LEAVE CALEB ALON E FUOIKJLKGKNL 

- THIS IS ....... SO MUCH WORSE THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

- Caleb’s biggest trauma(s) coming back to haunt him, I am genuinely going to cry I’m not ready for this I’m not okay

- Beau saying to Jester “Thanks, cutie” I love themmmmm

- INITIATIVE AAGJASKHDKJ AAAAAHHHH

- Essek’s Gravity Sinkhole did nothing? uhhhhh Mr Stark...

- EADWULF???? HELLO?????

- Essek using his entire turn to save Caleb last battle 🤝 Caleb using his entire turn to save Essek this battle

- ASTRID???? I TRUSTED YOU??? WE ALL TRUSTED YOU????

- Another Counterspell chain sdfdghjkdl wizards !!!

- “It’s just business” is literally the Neutral Evil line, it always gives me chills when any character says it

- This hurts more after Liam confirming on Twitter that Astrid/Caleb/Eadwulf were all three a romantic item... please stop hurting Caleb, you loved him  😭

- THE FJORD VS EADWULF SWORD FIGHT IS SO CINEMATIC I LOVE IT HERE ACTUALLY

- Essek taking every opportunity to pull Caleb to safety makes me so emotional...  😭

- “You’re not the first student I’ve had to put down” I am burning with my anger for you, old man 

- THE DISPEL WORKED LET’S GO CALEB.....

- Remember when Matt said that Essek doesn’t openly show concern/emotion? And now he’s saying “I’m scared” in front of his closest friends and his worst enemies.... growth my love.....

- BEAU AND VETH LETS GO CHAOS CREW LETS MF GO BABEYYYY!!!

- FJORD COUNTERSPELLING THE DIMENSION DOOR..... and Matt having him describe it.... is this taking the place of a “HDYWTDT” *eyes emoji*

- CALEB GOING DOWN NO, THANK GOD FOR THAT DEATH WARD

- Veth’s illusion of Caleb’s parents flanking Caleb in the flames.... that got me too, Liam

- “Stay down.” yeah, okay, that was sexy

- ASTRID BEING THE ONE TO ACTIVATE THE COLLAR IS LITERALLY POETIC JUSTICE... Trent being beaten by the student who stuck with him longest I love this so much, she deserved that moment honestly

- Break Time, AKA Emma Makes Her Weekly Mug Brownie Interlude

- Sometimes I feel like “death is too good for you” is a copout, but in this case it fits so well, I want this mf’s reputation destroyed and the entire operation exposed and overthrown let’s goooo

- “I loved you both so much”.... Astrid and Eadwulf walking away.... oh, Blumendrei... I know this is not the end of your story. What’s past is prologue, loves

- The Empire Siblings are gonna burn down the whole system because it’s the system that enables individual corruption... I am so fulfilled by this, god i love them

- “I love you too” OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, FJORESTER ARE THE CUTEST FOR REAL

- Jester and Essek’s friendship still means so much to me btw just in case anyone wanted a check-in

- Veth giving the flask to Kingsley!! Good for her, good for her!

- OH Blumenduo are back already! I truly thought that was going to be their last appearance of the Campaign, why is this taking me more by surprise than Trent’s appearance

- “[Caleb] notes how similar Eadwulf and Fjord are” this is Widofjord adjacent... this episode we have gotten Widomauk-adjacent, Widojest-adjacent, and Widofjord-adjacent (and Blumentrio ofc), now come through Shadowgast and we can get a full Bingo on the “Bisexual Maelstrom” card

- Speaking of relationships, I am lowkey into the Fjord/Jester/Kingsley dynamic LOL no one look at me I’m in hiding

- I’M NOT READY TO SAY GOODBYE TO VETH AND CAD 😭 It makes sense and the fact that they have their families back is beautiful but also consider this: I’m sad and I will miss them 

- The goodbyes to Caduceus..... I am going to cry aren’t I?

- “If he’s anything like his mom, you won’t see him until it’s too late” Okay that made me giggle, I love Veth and I love Luc and I love their little family

- IS ESSEK LEAVING TOO? THAT’S GONNA BE WHAT BREAKS ME ISN’T IT

- If Essek leaves and we never see him again, getting a triple whammy of goodbyes I will be so incredibly sad, I cannot do this  😭

- If anyone is interested, no I am not doing well

- I was lowkey ready to get an Essek’s feelings for Caleb confirmation tonight, I guess it makes sense that we didn’t but I hope that this is not the last time we see Essek... I want to write another emo post about him and about how much he means to me but I will refrain

- CALEB BEING A TEACHER IS THE ENDGAME I WANT FOR HIM PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

- Wow, I really was not ready to see Caduceus and Essek go for some reason... I really wanted this Campaign to end on the image of the Mighty Nein together as all nine of them... I’m feeling so numb right now having to say goodbye  😭

- Oh, we’re in the epilogue now!

- When Fjord said “[the sea] is my favorite place to be” I genuinely felt that on a spiritual level... the ocean is home, it truly is and always will be for me as well

- “I CAST MODIFY MEMORY” FJORD LMAOOOOOOO

- Okay, that Widobrave ending is what made me shed tears for the first time this episode... not to be Personal but my biological brother graduates High School tomorrow, and for some reason this conversation just reminded me so much of me and him and now I’m emotional

- NOT THE SYPHILIS BANDITS DSYUHDFJKLSFJ;DS OKAY I NEEDED THAT LAUGH

- “I’d like to hear about your friend” Kingsley aww

- Beau giving Kingsley her first diary to help him realize who they all are is actually so perfectly fitting, I love that!

- “The other eight and I, yes” Caleb counting all nine of them again  😭

- CALEB BEING OFFERED AN ASSEMBLY SEAT WTF AAAHHH

- Oh shit, Astrid took the Assembly seat... I’m not sure how I feel about this, I feel so bad for her for having to stay in the system that abused her for so long and I would have loved to see her burn the whole thing down, but I hope that she at least has a sense of contentment with this title

- “I go where you go, baby” Beauyasha.... my darling loves....

- Beau’s dad??? But also Beau being the one with power over her father is so Good, I’m glad that she got justice on that front as well!

- This talk with Artagan... “I didn’t want you to be a god. I wanted you to be my friend.” and in the process my love you created divinity... maybe divinity is the friends we made along the way

- OH SHIT WE ARE GETTING ALL THE VANDRAN LORE TONIGHT I’M READY LET’S GO LET’S GO

- VANDRAN AND AVANTIKA WERE AN ITEM???

- Wait crack theory: Sabian was a half elf right? Could he be the son of Vandren and Avantika? Or is that too much of a stretch? 

- Vandran going with them!!! Also I feel like that moment between Fjord and Vandran was lowkey a tease to a post-campain Uk’otoa one shot and I am ready for it already 

- THIS BEAUYASHA MOMENT... “i’ve never known anyone as deeply as i know you” & “explore every bit of you in multiple ways ;)” & “your past doesn’t scare me, it only makes you beautiful” .... this is so much they are so much i love them so much

- “I will have you and then some” Beauyasha   😭

- I’m torn between “oh my god there’s still half an hour left?” and “how is there only half an hour left??”

- “You will let this Skyspear live at least?” oh my god so Yasha killed the last Skyspear then? Oof...

- YASHA GIVING ZUALA(’S GRAVE) THE BOOK OF FLOWERS, OH DEAR HEART

- And Beau’s talk to Zuala about being the luckiest woman alive and sacrifice.... 😭  

- PLANTING FLOWERS AT ZUALA’S GRAVE... “NO BETTER GRAVE MARKER” THIS IS MAKING ME SO EMOTIONAL, I KNOW I’VE SAID THIS A LOT THIS EPISODE BUT THIS TRULY IS SO BEAUTIFUL

- So... I may or may not be crying again

- Shadowgast with a steel chair??

- Caleb’s plan for saving his parents... it’s clear he has thought of this so much, oh my darling love  😭

- Caleb burning down his chance to change his past is so symbolic and something he really needed to do, it does make me emotional though

- The other book was him writing to his parents?? Oh bby boy  😭  

- While I would have loved for Caleb to open his own magic school (especially with Essek, or the Mighty Nein, or someone else as well), I am so pleased that he stays with Veth and that their friendship continues for the rest of their life because again: they mean so so much to me, and in a way they remind me of me and my biological brother (which I never realized before this episode) and yeah. They just make me Emo

- Also. Caleb being a professor was my Number One Endgame Hope for him and the fact that it came true is just so surreal in the best way possible. I’m so used to being robbed of happy endings. The fact that the Mighty Nein all got theirs makes me incredibly happy. A story does not have to be sad to be impactful. Happy stories and happy endings, especially during a time period of tumultuous real life circumstances, have just as much value and meaning and they always will. Caleb is teaching the next generation magic, and he is teaching them to be Good, and he is nurturing them, and that just means so much

- MATT CRYING IS GONNA GET TO ME

- “Let’s do it again” Please, let’s.

- Okay, everyone. I made it all seven hours in one piece with surprisingly minimal tears (though who knows, this might all sink in tomorrow.) I already wrote my thoughts earlier today about how much the Mighty Nein mean to me and how much this show and these characters have kept me holding on during quarantine and today... I’m still not ready to let them go, but I know that I can always revisit to say hello and to say thank you for changing me. Until then though... I love you all more than you could ever know. And for the last time of Campaign 2... is it Thursday yet?

Good night 💗

[blacksunscorpio]

Hello! I saw your post about elevated planets, is there also any explanation about the planets opposite/bottom of the Zenith/Mc? Thank you!

Good Question

Nadir In Astrology

The Nadir, or Imum Coeli (IC), Latin for “south/bottom of the sky,” or “lowest point” is one of the four major angles in an astrological birth chart [the other 3 are the [Rising, Descendant, and Midheaven] and definitely the least talked about. The Midheaven and Nadir points lie at opposite ends of your Natal Chart. The Midheaven is at the very top [where your most elevated will be nearest]. It is where the Sun was at its highest peak during midday. Using this, we calculate the Nadir, or where the Sun was at its very lowest point during midnight. Like the Ascendant and Descendent Axis, the Midheaven and Nadir are opposites, with one side exposed and other other deeply hidden. It lies opposite the Midheaven—a point on our chart that represents our public life and persona, which gets a lot of attention.

What it Means

Since the Midheaven is our brightest, most open, well-light part of your personality, adversely the Nadir is the dead of night in your chart [quite literally], the IC is the deepest, darkest, quietest, most personal place in your chart. It  houses the Private Persona. This is how your mind operates in secret, how you feel, and how you act, when you are completely alone, with no one else watching. Our Nadir (IC) signifies our most profound depths and needs, a part of us that we often don’t share with others. While the rising and descendant axis of our charts navigate the relationship between self and others. The Midheaven and Nadir showcase the polarity of our outer and inner worlds. The IC sits on the cusp of the fourth house, ruled by the moon/cancer associated with family lineage, home environment, and family influences. Similarly to the moon, our nadir shows us our needs and emotional tendencies, though it's much more than that. When you looking at your birth chart, the nadir is below the horizon line of the ascendant and is the lowest place in our chart, therefore representing our foundation and roots. In this way, the IC also reveals the type of environment best for our physical well-being. Make sense? Now, I want to mention that many often think of the MC as a fake, constructed persona, and the Nadir is as our real, authentic selves. This couldn't be further from the truth. Fake news. This way of thinking hinges on the idea that we are fundamentally one type of person, forced act unlike ourselves in different situations. But the truth is, all of your choices and actions come together to create a portrait of who you really are, regardless of what made you act that way. The way you act when you are in front of people, trying to make your best impression - that is the real you. And the way you act when you are alone, with nobody to judge you - that is the real you, too ;). Humans are dichotomous and complex and astrology allows for that because it, as a study, is complex as well.

Nadir By Sign

Aries: [Libra MC] Need for independence and freedom. Reputation is built on the finer aspects of your personality. People know you by your good looks, first and foremost. They see you as elegant, yet strong; rational and logical. Inwardly, can be prone to dramatic displays of anger, loud demands, bossy, and sharp, biting humor and immense stores of sexual drive or drive in general. Family was very active or extremely ambitious. Learned early on how to be independent. Growing up, might have witnessed a lot of conflict in your family, some of it serious and some of it not. You saw problems with alcoholism, drug addiction, and anger. Unconsciously aggressive or combative.

Taurus: [Scorpio MC] Need for security or physical pleasures. Come off as intense, passionate, mysterious or dark. Family was stable or materialistic. As a child you were always well fed and secure. Parents/guardians gave you a taste for the finer things in life by caring so much about the look and quality of the things in their home. On a darker note they could also be quite controlling in a lot of ways, both over their house and family. Nothing could be done, or touched, or moved, or planned without them having a hand in what was going on. Native can be unconsciously inflexible or possessive.

Gemini: [Sagittarius MC] Need for understanding themselves and world around them. Outwardly can be very philosophical, blunt, straightforward and/or outspoken. When you find yourself alone with your thoughts, you spend a lot of time enjoying your own inner dialogue. And when you are with those few people you are close to, you enjoy a lot of stimulating conversations.  Family is a literal mosaic. Different colors and personalities. Home life was changing constantly. Family was growing and shrinking, moving around, breaking apart and then putting/fitting new pieces together. Childhood was self-expressive or hyper-intellectually focused. Unconsciously erratic, anxious or cunning that can display itself as duplicitousness.

Cancer: [Capricorn MC] Need to seek and give nurturance. Can come off as  determined, hard working, goal-oriented, and very good at what you do. You have a very professional public image that exudes confidence and experience. Family was co-dependent or critical. Growing up your mother was the central figure of your family home, either because she was a single mother or your father was away from home a lot. As a child, you were given more than enough praise and attention. When alone, you take on an almost maternal role in your house, cooking and cleaning and taking care of chores. Often, you will retreat into your bedroom, den or personal workshop and spend a lot of time working on things by solo.  Unconsciously co-dependent or guarded.

Leo: [Aquarius MC] Need for creative self-expression. intelligent, detached connections with other people. Can come off as detached or have this kind “dry intensity” that radiates off of you – you seem to be quietly aloof, cold. When alone, can be quite friendly or show big displays of love to those close to them. An eternal child that will always love fairly tales no matter how old they are. Family was self-involved or warm-hearted. The kid who was told they were special all the time. Everybody in your family (especially your mother) fawned over all the things you did, praising you for every accomplishment and exaggerating all your best qualities. You got everything you wanted. Unconsciously may have a lot of self-doubt.

Virgo: [Pisces MC] Need for efficiency. Comes off as a creative, kind, spiritual, almost ethereal person. People will notice the far-away look, the quiet contentment that hangs around you like a miasma. Draws in both saints and sinners. Though they may present a misty outward appearance, inwardly they keep detailed inventory of everything. Likes work and routine. Family or parent was hyper-critical. Some kind of negativity surrounding you when you were growing up, like fighting, substance abuse, depression, anxiety, or a poor home life. Whether or not you were aware of what your family members were going though, you looked for an escape. May have control freak tendencies.

Libra: [Aries MC] Need for harmony, though possibly difficulty in knowing needs with too much vacillation. Outwardly brave, perhaps a tad bossy, driven, commanding and leader-like with touches of aggression or authoritarianism. inwardly, peace loving, diplomatic, utterly polite, cooperative and friendly to the point of people pleasing. Family could have been quite social or superficial. When you are out interacting with the world you are confrontational and/or competitive. Growing up, you had to share your parent’s attention with other people. You might have had other siblings that got more than you, or they might have had other obligations that took up their time. Unconsciously coy.

Scorpio: [Taurus MC] Need for emotional depth and understanding. Outwardly laid back and grounded. Astonishing work-ethic. Security minded and practical. Inwardly there is a deep well of emotion. Can dwell or obsess. Powerful drive and silently aggressive. Family was secretive or powerful. Unconscious forces outside may have influenced them. Involved in power dynamics. Subconsciously,  memories of the past are littered with alcoholism, abuse, death, trauma, sex, various kinds of manipulation and betrayal.

Sagittarius: [Gemini MC] Need to discover their own truth. Comes off as intelligent, sociable, highly optimistic. Social butterfly. Inwardly may act out personal and grandiose dramas. Family was hyper-ethical or adventurous. Sought to learn and understand other people’s cultures and perspectives. In your childhood, when you were living at home with your family, you were thought of as a very bright child. Energetic, enthusiastic about learning, and always exploring the outside world, you met every new subject with curiosity and an open mind. Teachers and classmates labelled you as the “smart kid”. Unconsciously can seek status, attention or might be prone to judgment.

Capricorn: [Cancer MC] Need for reliability and order. reputation for being determined, hard working, goal-oriented. Family was traditional or repressed emotions. Might feel like you have to “fight for respect.” Family was very restrictive and controlling. Tried to make you into what they wanted you to be rather than accepting you for how you were. When alone in the privacy of your own home, you are emotional, sensitive, and very attached to your belongings and loved ones. Unconsciously self-repressing or pessimistic.

Aquarius: [Leo MC] Need for unconventional and individual stance. Comes off as bubbly, friendly, happy, and attracts attention easily. Inwardly, a loner, detached, intelligent, the furthest thing from a people pleaser. Likes to be left alone to their own devices to study or research. Family was non-traditional or unavailable. Home life might have been chaotic or tumultuous. As a kid you had little control over your life’s direction and had to follow your parents wherever they went. This could mean you were uprooted a lot, maybe a military kid or simply forced into their religion or belief system. Unconsciously somewhat detached from others. Accept anybody for anything, you support them 100%. Not interested in people or affairs/things that do not concern you. Father might have been absent. Unconsciously weird/ unusual.

Pisces: [Virgo MC] Need for wandering or mysticism. Comes off as organized, dissecting, routine-loving and very well-put together. Inwardly, can be emotional, messy, lazy, gullible, but also sensitive, compassionate, empathetic, and completely selfless. Family roots of unclear boundaries. Growing up there was a lot going on between your parents that you didn’t understand. Perhaps born on the verge of some kind of upheaval. Something happened that caused the family break apart before you were born and now they were dealing with the aftermath. Unconsciously over-sensitive or non-committal.

Bruja note:

The key to understanding the patterns and energy of the IC brings balance and equilibrium to our lives as it teaches us how to embrace our past and move forward into our future. How to really grasp and harness the midheaven gifts and promises. There is an inevitable sense of karma and destiny associated with the angles of our charts, and the IC is no exception. Knowing the patterns of the nadir brings consciousness to our underworld. More understanding. It is considered by many astrologers one of, if not THE most important part of our entire chart—because of the depth of understanding it gives us when we really commit to comprehending it. By utilizing the skills and difficulties of our family/ancestors/origins, we are thrusted into our personal journey’s and ultimately our north node or most elevated destinies.  

What sign is your Nadir in? Dissecting and understanding it can bring healing and growth to you and those you’re closely connected with.

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Hiya Laura!

So I gots another theory that came to me when waking from the clutches of slumber…

In Black Clover, a persons life is tied to their grimoire correct? If the grimoire begins to disintegrate, then it means the owner is dying. If the grimoire completely disintegrates, then that’s it and the owner has died (unless you’re Julius and come back to life)

(Linked text is just images to back up my explanation)

I don’t know why this only so randomly came to me… but remember how when it was revealed that Mars and Fana both share the same two magical attributes of Diamond Magic and Fire Magic because of their grimoires being modified and Frankenstein-sewed together during Morris’ experiments?

Look at the following images of Mars’ and Fana’s grimoires before vs after Morris modified them.

If we look at Mars’ grimoire, both before and after Morris’ modifications (Morris ➙ damn sicko), we can see it is incrusted with numerous diamonds all throughout the cover; and it is canon that a mage’s grimoire design are related to the mage’s strength of will, strength/power/skill, and magical attribute overall… so it’s no wonder Mars, a boy who was born with Diamond magic, would have literal diamonds embedded in the grimoire that chose him.

But here’s my question…

Diamonds are practically indestructible. Black Clover’s logic does use a good amount of our real world facts/principals that Tabata then manipulates to fit into his storyline, but a lot of the context of those facts/principals remain, so it stands to reason to believe that just like in our world, in Black Clover, the only thing that can crack/scratch a diamond is another diamond.

I attempted to count the number of diamonds encrusted on the front/back covers of Mars’ grimoire by combining the overall numbers I counted on both Fana and Mars’ Frankenstein-sewn grimoires. I counted about 48 or so diamonds overall (but I could’ve missed some) that would be encrusted within Mars’s original grimoire, but are now shared between Mars and Fana. That’s a pretty hefty amount of diamond embezzlement😎💍💎 (so why exactly is the Diamond Kingdom so damn poor that they pillage other lands for resources when they have a shining general who can literally make diamonds out of nothing? Mars could literally save his country from poverty by exchanging diamonds he makes as commerce with other nations… the diamond king is just a wee-but stupid missing out on that opportunity, huh?)

So if a person’s grimoire completely disintegrates upon their death, or begins to disintegrate as they are dying… remember that if Black Clover diamonds uses the same logic of our real world and diamonds are the only substance that can crack/scratch another diamond… that means the diamonds of Mars’ grimoire will never disintegrate… the rest of the book could, yeah, but those original diamonds that were there before his grimoire chose him would still remain. Unless another diamond mage (which we have yet to see or hear of so I’d bet my money on this being an incredibly rare magical attitude) who shatters the diamonds of Mars’ grimoire… do you think this could mean Mars could be near immortal? Or at the very least be very near unkillable? If the diamond parts of his grimoire remain… then the entirety of the grimoire itself will never fade away… and neither should his life-force along with it. Same goes for Fana as well now that they share each other’s magical attributes.

(Me: just realizes how that’s gonna make Mars’ and Fana’s ‘till death do us part’ vows one day all the more awesome if this theory pans out and does mean they are near unkillable/immortal)

What are your thoughts Laura?

- GrimoireGirl📚

Hiya~! ^_^

There's a lot to unpack here T^T But it's okay 😉😎

Hmmm... 🤔

Okay, well the very first thing comes to mind is my high school chemistry teacher telling us that "unfortunately 007 lied to you, because diamonds aren't for ever". They do have a half life, and thus aren't quite as indestructible as media would have us believe. Plus I mean, they do cut diamonds for rings. BUT! That's enough for the nerd in me, I'm sorry 😭

But I do like the idea that Fana and Mars are essentially very hard to kill, let it be the diamond affinity or then the phoenix thematic. And they kind of have been shown to be difficult to kill, so that would most definitely support the idea.

And this is again where I wish that we would know more about grimoires. Because we do know that grimoires are connected to a person's soul and/or life force. That's given, and undebatable. But what I find intriguing is: 1. Where do grimoires come from?

Are they made in the grimoire towers? Or do they just appear on the shelves like magic? And. Are they assigned to a person from the moment the grimoire is made/the person is born? Or do they get assigned during the grimoire ceremony? Do they just poof into existence when a person is born?

2. Where do grimoires go? If they go

Asta having Licht's grimoire makes me think that maybe... grimoire incarnation is a thing. But then again the very-heartbreaking scene of Fue's grimoire beginning to disintegrate, makes me think that it isn't. Perhaps there are components in grimoires that don't disappear. Maybe there aren't. We just don't know enough.

To me it seems like all the of kingdoms are at least... relatively poor (?). And if you have limited resources, diamonds won't keep people fed. Plus, I mean, even if Diamond would have diamonds, they need people to trade with. And since their only neighbours are Clover and Spade, maybe people are just reluctant to trade with them. Thus, they're poor. But when it comes to the kings wits... *cough* the only good King-king seemed to be Papa Grinberryal *cough* and *cough* he's dead *cough*, and Heart has a Queen *cough*.

Anyways... It could be that diamond mages are hard to crack, but it could also be that Mars' and Fana's life forces are combined, and thus in order to kill one of them, one would really need to kill both of them. 🤔

Personally I'd like to know more about grimoires (which might be that I love @firefutte 's Grimoire AU so much), and how they actually work. Tabataaaa!!! 😭😭😭 Information please! 🥺

Thank you for sharing and for stopping by 🥰

[liquidstar]

I'd love to hear some of your recommendations! And I'm good without any content warnings, but since you're posting this for all your followers to see probably best to add them

Alright sure! I’ll be general then and since you’re just starting out this will sort of be bringing up a lot of really popular ones, the really good ones where the general consensus is “you gotta see this!”, but I’ll also try to give ones from different genres so you have a variety of things to pick from, so this isn’t really a list of personal favorites but I’ll throw in a couple of those too lol, but generally think of this as a handy beginners guide with just a little personal bias.

I wrote a lot so I'm gonna put them under the cut here.

Fullmetal Alchemist

Fullmetal Alchemist is a franchise that’s considered a must-watch, it takes place in a world where alchemy is a borderline magical power, but is considered scientific in-universe and follows scientific laws, namely the law of equivalent exchange. Something can’t be made from nothing, to gain something of equal value must be lost. The story follows the story of two brothers, Edward and Alphonse Elric, who at the ages of 10 and 11 committed alchemy’s one and only unforgivable sin, human transmutation, in an attempt to bring their mother back to life. As a result, one brother lost his arm and leg and the other lost his entire body, leaving his soul bound to a suit of armor. However the brothers are resolute to regain their original bodies, and the older brother, Edward, joins the State Alchemists, a branch of the military, to try to gain access to research materials to help them achieve their goal. But was that really such a good idea?

Fullmetal Alchemist can be a bit confusing to get into due to the fact that there are two series: Fullmetal Alchemist (2003) and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood (2009). The latter is a reboot with a different story that follows the original manga. They both have the same beginning, but diverge paths and tell very different stories. My recommendation for how to watch this show is: Watch 2003 first, and Brotherhood second. Everyone has a different opinion about which is better, but everyone agrees that 2003 has better backstory but a contrived ending, and Brotherhood has a rushed beginning (Because it works off the assumption that you’ve seen 2003) with a great and fulfilling ending. If you can’t do both I say just watch Brotherhood because it will leave you more satisfied and you don’t have to watch 03 to get into it.

For both series the biggest trigger warnings are: Parental death, child death, pet death, war, genocide, dismemberment, religious themes, and miscarriage. For brotherhood specifically: on-screen suicide, and for 2003 specifically: rape (not on-screen) and pregnancy from it. The 2003 series is also a lot darker than Brotherhood which has a more optimistic tone, so that’s worth noting too.

Soul Eater

A show I think is incredibly fun, and a good one for an October watch if you wanna save it. It takes place in a world where certain people have the ability to transform into weapons, and they team up with other people who become their meisters. The characters often travel around, but the main setting is Death City, a fictional city in Nevada based off of Las Vegas but with a huge Halloweentown vibe, and a school right at the top of it called the Death Weapon Meister Academy (DWMA) where a bunch of kids that turn into weapons learn how to hunt down witches and kishins (Beings that consume human souls). The school, of course, is run by the grim reaper, Lord Death himself.

Our main characters for the series are a group of 7 students. Our protagonist Maka Albarn and her weapon partner Soul “Eater” Evans, a scythe. A loud mouth assassin named Black✰Star and his weapon partner Tsubaki, who has many weapon forms. And the son of the grim reaper, Death The Kid, and his two weapon partners Liz and Patty Thompson, who are twin pistols. There are also a bunch of really lively colorful background characters and antagonists, and the cast of the show being as insane as it is really makes it, on top of the great atmosphere and of course the plot, which just builds more and more as the series progresses. Also Crona is there and we all love Crona.

Trigger warnings for this show include: Child abuse (Mental and physical), manipulation, snakes and spiders (The motifs of two major villains), some very surreal moments that can verge on unreality. Also, in the dub and most subs: misgendering of a canonically trans character. Crona is a character who is non-binary, but the dub and subs use gendered pronouns for them due to general ignorance about neutral pronouns in 2008, though this isn’t the fault of the original series and falls on the translators hands.

Also it’s important to note: that the first 3 episodes are prologues and they take themselves less seriously, there’s more fanservice in them than there is in the rest of the series (Except for Blair she stays the fanservice character :pensive:)

Zombieland Saga

Idol anime is really prevalent as a genre, the most popular being Love Live, but my personal favorite is Zombieland Saga. It’s an idol anime, but it’s also a comedy about zombie girls who become idols. It sounds ridiculous but there’s an insane amount of heart in it regardless, it wasn’t a show I expected to get emotional at but I did! It also made me laugh a lot too. The series itself can serve as a bit of a subversion on what idols are, not just because they’re literally zombies, but because of who the characters are.

Sakura Minamoto is a character who starts off as a more typical idol, a peppy pure girl, as the series continues her struggle with depression gets highlighted. Saki Nikaido serves as her initial foil, a delinquent girl with a criminal record who subvers the idea of pure perfect idols. Ai Mizuno, a former idol who has since undergone severe trauma (The way she died). Junko Konno who has ideals that seem very different on what idols “should” be due to the time period she died. Lily Hoshikawa, an explicitly transgender idol. Yugiri nolastname, a former high ranking courtesan, subvering the pure image of an idol by being a sex worker. And Tae Yamada, a completely nonverbal idol who’s still treated with the same amount of importance as the rest of the team. The premise here really is just that these girls don’t fit the incredibly rigid mold of what idols should be and yet they still all deserve love and they gain a fanbase by being their earnest selves.

Trigger warnings for this series aren’t incredibly severe but since they’re zombies there’s still talks about death and they way they died (Including motorcycle/car accidents, plane crashes, getting struck by lightning, and a heart attack), there’s also comedic dismemberment, as in their arms just sort of pop on and off and stuff like that. The most notable thing is the deadnaming of Lily, the trans idol, by her father, but it doesn’t appear to be malicious in any way.

Note: this series is in the middle of it’s second season right now, if you want to wait until it’s over it should be 12 episodes long and just aired it’s 3rd, so about 9 more weeks.

Death Note

This is also absolutely another series that gets recommended to people right off the bat, and for good reason, this show is an intricate game of chess between a serial killer and a detective trying to catch him, and it’s incredibly easy to get super invested in the suspense of what happens next. The story begins when a shinigami, a god of death, drops his “Death Note” into the human world out of pure boredom. A Death Note is simply a notebook where if you write someone's name in it… They die! And who better to pick up such a powerful object than Light Yagami, a prodigy praised for his genius and academy accomplishments as well as his charm and popularity, and with a very strong but juvenile black-and-white sense of justice, likely due to being raised by a cop.

So naturally Light begins his power trip as soon as he finds the notebook, he intends to “fix” the world by cleansing it of all the bad people, but truly he intends to become the world’s new god. Or the “God of the new world” as he puts it. But there’s one thing standing in his way, a detective resolute on catching him with the codename L. The series entire crux is a game of cat and mouse between these two, as they try to outsmart each other and the murders continue, Light loses more and more of his humanity, L becomes more resolute on catching him. There are more twists and turns than a cheetah race, and it’s honestly pretty addictive to see what happens next.

Trigger warnings here obviously include a lot of death and murder, including suicide, but in some cases it’s a forced suicide at Light’s hands. Also abuse, as Light loses his humanity he isn’t above manipulating and discarding people who love him. And one instance of near-rape on screen fairly early on, but the purpitrator dies before it happens and the victim escapes.

K-On!

Slice-of-life is an incredibly popular genre, and K-On! is the quintessential example of it. It’s a series that not everyone will like, because not a lot truly happens, and it can be overly saccharine or “moe” for a lot of people, and that’s fine. But I personally think that despite not a lot happening, the story has genuine substance, more than you may gather at first glance. It’s true that not much in the way of big plot really happens, it’s mostly life events, that’s why it's a slice-of-life. But it’s not about nothing. The real theme of the show is the fleeting nature of youth. It’s about how important the friendships you form at that time are, how they’ll stick with you for a lifetime, and how everything comes to an end. It’s sweetness even becomes a little bittersweet because you knew their after school tea time would end come graduation, and as they realize this it breaks their hearts a little, but they continue on, because they’re still After School Tea Time!

The series itself is simply about 5 girls in a band, Yui Hirasawa on lead guitar, Mio Akiyama on the bass, Ritsu Tainaka on the Drums, Tsumugi Kotobuki on the Keyboard, and Azusa Nakano on Rhythm Guitar (Who shows up later). They’re in a club at school called the light music club where they waste a lot of their time just drinking tea and eating cake, but they’re having fun and that’s what counts! The series has a lot of really great direction and expressive animation despite the fact that a lot of it is just sitting around and talking, it’s incredibly visually interesting so you don’t get bored.

I honestly don’t think there are any big trigger warnings I can give for this series, maybe that Sawa-chan can be a little too forceful when she wants to dress up the girls in cute outfits sometimes but it’s usually not presented as too creepy especially after season 1 where they tone it down due to straying from the manga.

Mob Psycho 100

This series is an absolute love letter to the art of animation as a whole, the artstyle itself may not seem like much to look at but the animation is some of the most expressive, fluid, creative, and vibrant out there right now, it’s the type of series that you can tell was made with a real passion for its medium and it’s story. It’s protagonist is Shigeo Kageyama, nicknamed “Mob”, a term that literally means “Background character”. Mob is a middle school kid and an incredibly powerful psychic, like, insanely overpowered, but he’s currently working part time for a shady conman, Reigen Arataka. Though it may seem as if Reigen is just using Mob for his powers, their bond is actually a very sweet one and you can tell they care for each other, it’s a very important one at the heart of the series.

The core themes of the series itself are what really make it shine, it’s message is stated as clearly as possible in the opening songs, “your life is your own” and “if everyone is not special, maybe you can be what you want to be”. Put simply, you’re the protagonist of your own life, but the other important message of the series is that all the supposed background characters are just as important. The friends you make, the connections you have with other people and the way they impact you, they’re what make you strong. No one is born special, everyone is just a normal person, and everyone deserves kindness. It’s a series that I recommend incredibly strongly for just how powerfully it portrays this message.

Trigger warnings for this series include kidnapping, possession, a scene with a “man in a dress” joke, and a racist design for a background character. Also (spoilers) a scene where it seems like a child was murdered and a scene where it seems like Mob’s entire family was murdered.

Kaguya-Sama: Love Is War!

Hey, speaking of amazing animation, Kaguya-Sama is a romantic comedy series centered around the premise of two incredibly arrogant people falling in love. Kaguya Shinomiya and Miyuki Shirogane are the vice president and president of the student council at the prestigious Shuchi'in Academy, they eventually develop feelings for each other but they’re both simultaneously too proud and too insecure to admit it, so the real crux of the series is the 3D chess they play with each other to try and get the other to confess first. Along with the scatterbrained secretary, Chika Fujiawara, the treasurer in desperate need of Prozac Yu Ishigami, the cast is incredibly fun and they all fit into the comedy great. Every single little game of “do you like me?” that they play is written like the most intense thing in the world, the insane animation absolutely adds to it, making it seem almost like a psychological thriller, the comedy comes from the absurdity of just how much they hyperbolize it.

It’s not pure comedy though, due to a lot of the series being set up around mindgames, the characters are actually fairly psychologically complex with a lot of genuine development stemming from their childhood to explain why they are the way they are. The series may be about mindgames, but the actual narrative frames them as a juvenile way to go about relationships, a way to try to protect yourself from getting hurt because you’re afraid to trust. The entire core theme is that communication in relationships of any kind is the most important thing and you cant replace it with clever little tricks, so the main pair only ever make actual progress when they’re actually upfront with each other. Even if it’s scary to be that vulnerable with someone, especially if you’ve been hurt in the past like they have, the relationships you build off of mutual trust and openness will be worth the risk, and they can help heal you. And one of the things I love about the series is that this doesn’t just apply to the main pair, but it places equal emphasis on the importance of friendship. All the characters' relationships with each other are unique and interesting and they all develop the same way, with trust and openness, and they become better because of each other.

Despite being generally a comedy, a lot of the characters deal with some really heavy things too so trigger warning for: child abuse (not on-screen), child abandonment (again not on screen), anxiety and panic attacks, suicidal ideation- initionally played off as a joke but it becomes very obvious the character in question is legitimately suicidal and in the manga he nearly attempts it but is stopped, this plotpoint will most likely be in the anime at some point as it’s also not complete.

Your Lie In April

Alright I gave you a funny show now I’m going to make you cry. In fact it’s hard for me to type this synopsis because I’m an absolute crybaby and thinking about this show gets me, but I think it’s absolutely worth checking out because it’s a very beautiful sadness. Your Lie In April is a series that follows the stress and trauma young musical prodigies face in their lives, as well as the people around them, and it’s a series about the beauty of music and art, and just how much it affects people. The music in the show is absolutely gorgeous, the way that they convey emotion through it is so beautiful and intricate that it just sticks with you. You feel the music, and you understand.

I’m actually going to give the trigger warnings right now instead of at the end because in order to explain the plot I’ll have to talk about them so tw for: Child abuse (phsyical and mental, on-screen), terminal illness, death, in depth depictions of PTSD, vomiting, panic attacks, the works.

The series follows Kousei Arima, a formal piano prodigy who hasn’t performed since the death of his mother two years ago. Kousei's mother was terminally ill, but she was also incredibly abusive. Kousei has incredibly complex feelings about his mother because of this. The trauma she instilled in him is severe, but because he was a child, he still is a child, and he loved his mom a lot, as any child would, and he didn’t want her to die and he blames himself for not being good enough. He wanted to make her happy, and the only way he knew how to do that was to play the piano. So he played and played and practiced until he was perfect, they called him the human metronome. But he would still get severely punished for being anything less than perfect. He had lost all the passion he once had, and after his mother died it was the final nail in the coffin, his trauma manifests now in a way that makes him unable to play. But all that changes one day in April when he meets a violinist named Kaori Miyazono, a girl full of life and passion for music, she’s someone who according to Kousei “Exists in springtime.” and she’s going to help him play again and refined that love for music whether he wants to or not! Teen drama happens of course, but there are much bigger roadblocks ahead.

Assassination Classroom

This series is thankfully generally more lighthearted… Most of the time at least. The premise is pretty simple, but incredibly ridiculous. An incredibly powerful octopus-like creature is the teacher of a classroom of middle school students tasked with the assignment of assassinating him in order to save the world. The series starts off very slice-of-life as it focuses on introducing the very large cast of characters inside of Class E, also known as the “end class”, but it quickly gains traction and gets a lot more intense as time goes on.

The octopus creature in question, Korosensei, is actually a very kind and genuinely good teacher to all his students. The real crux of the series is that it’s sort of a critique on the educational system, the students in the end class are there because they’ve been ostracized from the rest of the campus, far away in the mountains, to be made examples of. Why? Because they’re students that are considered worthless, instead of getting help they’re only pushed back further down in the system and left to struggle within it fruitlessly. They’re given up on, despite being children with so much potential, because they don’t fit a very rigid mold. That’s what Korosensei wants to help them with, and they’re able to grow as people together. As the series progresses you feel such a great sense of unity for the class, they’re like a family, they stick together and it’s very heartwarming. And watching them work as a team of assassins is so fun!

However the series can get heavy at times too, it doesn’t stray from heavier subject matter at all and i found myself incredibly shocked by it a few times, so trigger warning for: Child abuse (on-screen and off), both at the hands of a parent and a teacher and in one case a parent who is also the principal, misgendering of a character, sometimes as a “joke” but other times played dead serious at the hands of his mother, child death- specifically suicide, a successful one as well as 3 assassination attempts that doubled as suicide attempts by the main 3 characters (weird parallel they all got there huh)

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Honestly this is a series that is good to go in blind for if you need to tws, it’s a deconstruction of the magical girl genre, but if you don’t want to know more than that you can stop reading here. If you want to know more, it’s a series that starts off very light-hearted and in tune with typical magical girl conventions at first, however by episode 3 it’s made painfully clear that these girls are being led to sign up into something they shouldn’t. It’s heavy, though not incredibly so, but it’s also a lot to explain in a summary. Madoka magica is… It’s Faust with magical girls.

I’ll explain as much as I can without giving too much away. The story begins when Madoka Kaname and her friend Sayaka Miki encounter a creature who calls itself Kyubey, who says it can grant a wish of theirs and in exchange they have to become magical girls and fight witches. Both the girls are hesitant, but Sayaka wants to wish for her childhood friend’s injuries to be cured so he can play violin again, while Madoka is content as she is and can’t think of a wish. Luckily they have a mentor, a magical girl named Mami Tomoe who helps introduce them to everything. However something is stopping Madoka from becoming a magical girl, a mysterious new student who is also one herself, Homura Akemi, is resolute on keeping Madoka from becoming a magical girl by all means possible, for reasons Madoka doesn’t understand. Things get even more complicated when a rival magical girl shows up, Kyoko Sakura, who becomes Sayaka’s new rival. As things get more heated between those two they discover a terrible secret about the nature of magical girls, and what they truly signed up for.

Spoilers ahead but trigger warning for: Child death, parental death (backstory only), decapitation (off-screen), needles, incredibly surreal imagery inside the witch’s labyrinths that may feel unreal, mind control, suicide, depression and despair expressed by young characters. Also don't bother with Magia Record

The Disastrous Life Of Saiki K.

Alright something lighthearted now, there are a lot of comedy anime I enjoy, a lot of series that have made me laugh, but none has made me bust a gut like this series has, it’s absolutely hilarious. It follows the life of a boy named Saiki Kusuo who has psychic powers. His powers are incredibly overpowered, and he absolutely hates them, in his eyes they cause him nothing but trouble. There’s not much in the way of a plot to describe, because there isn’t any, the series is comprised of 5 minute segments surrounding Saiki and an incredibly vast and colorful cast of characters that are just all completely insane, many serve as parodies as types of anime tropes because the series as a whole is very self aware and doesn’t shy from breaking the fourth wall a lot, but the characters surrounding Saiki are what make his life… Disastrous.

Like I said there’s not really a plot to describe but like FMA people may get confused with this one, there are 3 seasons but one of them is titled “The Disastrous Life Of Saiki K: Reawakened” as is a continuation of the first two with just 6 episodes in it. Also for some reason only the second season isn’t dubbed so if you’re planning on watching it that way you’d have to either stop or switch to subs for season 2

The only major tw I can give here is an ongoing joke about a character being into his sister, he’s treated as disgusting for it of course because he’s a parody of that trope but that doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable, luckily he doesn’t show up much.

Little Witch Academia

Little Witch Academia is a series I personally just adore, it takes place in a world where witches are common and well-known among the people, but the era of witches is over and magic is dying out. However that doesn’t mean passion of magic doesn’t exist, the protagonist is a young girl named Atsuko Kagari, or Akko for short. She’s resolute on being just like her icon, a witch known as Shiny Chariot, as she attends the same magic school: Luna Nova! Unfortunately Akko isn’t exactly a magical prodigy, in fact she can’t even fly a broom, but that’s not gonna stop her, nothing will. Just like Chariot said, believing in yourself is your magic.

Once at school Akko gets into all types of crazy shenanigans with her with her two roommates, Lotte Yanson and Sucy Manbavaran, and occasionally her rival, Diana Cavendish. Akko still struggles a lot in school, in fact her inability with magic is pretty explicitly handled as a metaphor for a learning disability, and though this makes it harder for her she’s still resolute. Though the series is generally episodic, a concrete plot starts to form by the second core. Along with the help of her guidance counselor, Professor Ursula, Akko learns that she needs to unlock 7 “words” to bring magic back to the world, each time she learns a new one it comes with an important lesson to her and ultimately relates back to each of the core themes of the series

The series is pretty lighthearted so the biggest trigger warning I can give is one for bullying, two characters in particular tend to target Akko for not being a good witch and it can really sting to watch. Other than that none come to mind

[sepublic]

Infinity Train Tarot Deck!

           The idea came to me while discussing the Infinity Train and the idea of crossroads, which reminded me of the Wheel of Fortune tarot card in the Major Arcana! And naturally… This made me imagine Major Arcana tarot cards, themed after Infinity Train!

           The first thing we have is the Emperor and Hanged Man. Now in some stories, the Hanged Man IS the Emperor, after he’s essentially fallen or been overthrown; So it’s the Emperor’s ‘fall from grace’ (ba-dum tsss). So naturally… Simon Laurent is a PERFECT fit for this! That shot of him lying around on Grace’s throne with his new hair-down get-up is perfect for the Emperor Card, it’s him flaunting authority and royalty! As for the Hanged Man; It’s Simon hanging upside, clinging to the bottom of that bridge during the Season Finale… He’s doing the 4-shaped pose, with only one foot clinging to the bridge; The foot with the malfunctioning shoe, as the other one was used by Grace to fend off the Ghom. Simon, the Hanged Man, about to ‘fall from grace’, both in the literal and metaphorical sense…

           Next, we have Wheel of Fortune. Naturally this fits the Infinity Train’s wheels… They’re kind of a big deal, as a means of killing denizens, usually; But they DID come close to killing off Simon and Grace, respectively! The wheels of the Infinity Train keep it going, as the Infinity Train itself represents a crossroads, as befitting the tarot card! This was the first tarot design I came up with, and if I ever had to draw/design it, I imagine a morbid reference to denizens getting wheeled is in order.

           Next, we have the World! It’s about the finishing of a loop/cycle, before it begins anew, the end of a journey to start with a new one! Kind of like how Tulip ends Book 1 having finished her adventure on the Infinity Train, and is now heading to Osh Kosh with a new life and look in a sense! For this, I considered the ‘zero’ that a passenger ideally reaches, as it’s the end of their journey on the train, but the beginning of a new life after their ‘recovery’. Perhaps the zero can be fashioned like a globe? Alternatively, given the motif of loops/cycles, perhaps it can be an infinity symbol, comprised of the Infinity Train itself, with the wasteland as the background? Or it’s a passenger’s exit!

           The Lovers is obvious, it’s Amelia and Alrick! Their relationship was what set off basically every major conflict in this show, aside from the Infinity Train’s own existence of course! Its reverse meaning can also be imbalance and a misalignment of values, which fits with how Amelia’s love for Alrick and her ensuing grief led to her hijacking the Infinity Train, and indirectly causing Grace to start a cult whose whole purpose is to get their numbers up; Not just a misalignment, but an outright reversal of values!

           Next up is the Chariot! I’ve chosen the Infinity Train’s front car/engine for this… The Chariot is about willpower, action, and determination, and its reverse is notably a lack of direction… The Infinity Train’s engine pulls the entire structure, giving it direction! Notably, the Infinity Train itself is rather binary and controlled in its directions; Passengers can either get their numbers up, or down, representing a somewhat black-and-white view of ‘progress’.

           Grace is the Empress! This makes sense, she’s a counterpart to Emperor Simon, and the Apex’s true leader in both of its incarnations. Not only does this fit with Grace’s desire to be at the top, in-part because of her upper-class upbringing… But it also invokes ideas of femininity, beauty, and nurturing! And, Grace is definitely feminine, and certainly beautiful- Especially given the way she checks her compact mirrors often, as she’s someone concerned with her appearance to others on both a literal and metaphorical sense! But there’s also her essentially taking care of the Apex, trying to be a parental figure to make up for her own lacking parents!

           Strength is Hazel and Tuba! Not much else to say here, honestly- The image of a woman and her lion translates well here! One of its uprights meaning is compassion, which fits in with Hazel’s compassionate nature… Not to mention, Tuba is easily the strongest of our protagonists by a long shot!

           For Judgement, I would choose an image of Ghoms rising from the wasteland’s dirt! The art for the Judgement card frequently depicts beings rising from the earth… And in a sense, Ghoms could be interpreted as the Infinity Train, or at least the narrative’s judgment! Simon goes too far and tries to murder Grace in cold blood after she saved his life a second time, and right on cue, a Ghom appears to kill him! Ghoms are associated with Death, and Judgment and Death are intertwined…

           The Tower represents a mishap in journeys, so naturally I chose One-One atop that structure he was on in the climax of the Unfinished Car! That same structure of floating buildings that he’s standing on when Tulip talks to him, and finally gets the guy to snap out of his programming! The Unfinished Car in general represents ‘disruption’ in how the Infinity Train’s journey and plans are supposed to go, a break in its programming, especially as a result of Amelia’s unplanned hijacking of the engine! The Tower is chaos and revelation, which One-One causes and later undergoes in the Unfinished Car.

           Death is an interesting one for me. While its name implies some negative stuff, in the end it’s a card about change, about new beginnings, and its reverse represents those who are averse to that and want things to stay the same! I think a dual-image of Tulip and Amelia, one above and the other facing down, would work… Tulip boarded the Infinity Train because she couldn’t handle the changes in her life from her parents divorcing, and Amelia had the same reasons, amidst a more literal one with Alrick’s demise! There’s also the idea of including Simon as a skeleton, given how he straight-up dies as a result of his inability to accept change, one that goes further than Amelia’s ever did! If Amelia were to appear on this card, she’d be wearing her cloak to invoke the Grim Reaper’s image.

           Next up is the Sun, and it’s… Jesse! This one is fairly straight-forward, he’s a got a very bright personality and he’s brimming with positivity! Both times he boards/exits the Infinity Train, it’s daytime and outside; In contrast to Tulip and Amelia being at night, or Grace being indoors! And Jesse spawns in the Hill Car, which itself is a bright and sunny place! Not to mention…

           To complete the duality, we have Lake as the Moon! Jesse and Lake go hand-in-hand together, they’re inseparable if the Book 2 finale is any indication, their bond overrides the Infinity Train and even causes it to glitch! The Moon reflects the Sun, fitting of Lake’s reflective nature, and admittedly, what Mace suggested about Lake being a narrative parallel to Jesse as well! There’s the idea of confusion and introspection, which relates to Lake’s themes of finding her identity. She relies on trickery, both to initially dupe Tulip during her debut, and later to earn her exit on the Infinity Train!

           For the Devil, which represents the idea of entrapment, especially of those who could easily leave but choose to stay thanks to their own bad decisions… I’ve chosen either Amelia’s mech, or Mace and Sieve! Amelia’s mech represents her own willing entrapment within the Alrick-sounding persona she created, it’s representative of her refusal to let go of her grief and to move on- And it was made by her, representing how ultimately it was Amelia who had the power to let it go, but didn’t!

          Not to mention, the Devil as an archetype is used to represent corruption and the swaying of bad influences… Which fits in Amelia being a dark reflection to Tulip, luring her in with the promise of her own car with the ideal reality, and Amelia’s mech being the ‘false god’ that Grace later worships, setting her down the wrong path! The Devil could also be Mace and Sieve, as there’s the idea of being trapped in their roles and choosing it as Flecs, binding others with the law, etc. Not to mention Mace’s obsession with killing Lake, and Sieve’s determination to avenge his fallen comrade afterwards. Hmm. Perhaps the Devil card should depict both Amelia’s mech AND the Mirror Police!

           Temperance is a fascinating one to me. It usually invokes the image of pouring liquids, and involves ideas of good health, balance, cooperation, and teamwork… While its reverse meaning is the opposite as chaos and not working with others! This could be Alan Dracula, contrasted with Perry the Parasite… Alan Dracula is a fickle creature, and hard to get on your side, fitting in with the idea of teamwork and cooperation! But under Perry’s influence, he’s seemingly more cooperative…

          Only, Perry’s presence is causing poor health as Dracula’s body shifts rapidly, and him and Perry conflict over control! Perry himself isn’t such a cooperative guy after all, it seems. But then there’s also Randall… He’s water, invoking the image of pouring liquids! Water is a big theme with Temperance and going with the flow, which describes his personality, and his hivemind nature encourages teamwork from his very first appearance! Like with the Devil, perhaps Temperance can be both… A Perry-infested Alan Dracula at the Food Pyramid Car, with a river of water that’s actually Randall!

           Justice goes to the Steward! There’s the idea of being an objective force of decision, which goes with how the Steward is both helpful to the Infinity Train, as well as Amelia for a while, and a deterrant to our protagonists Tulip and Lake! It is a physical force for One-One, the conductor, and he is the one who ideally passes judgment in a sense as a construct of the Infinity Train. Justice is about being objective and not letting emotions cloud your decisions, which goes in hand with the Steward being a literal machine with no feelings. I imagine the image for Justice would have the Steward and its arm-tendrils holding the ‘scales’, and on either end is One-One and Amelia!

           Next up is the High Priestess, the one and only Samantha the Cat! There’s the idea of being intuitive, creative, thinking outside of the box, being both passive and receptive, as well as curious- Traits that go well with Samantha! Among the things it can represent is a woman influencing your life (AKA Samantha with Simon and Tulip), but also someone who just knows what’s the right thing to do- And as Samantha herself said, she ALWAYS does the right thing! Its reverse involves being disconnected and withdrawn, as while Samantha is social at first glance… We see how her close relationship with Simon ended. The High Priestess is also privy to sacred knowledge, which works with Samantha knowing a lot about certain characters and the Infinity Train, and how to get about!

           Atticus is the Hierophant… There’s the idea of being one for wisdom, tradition, institutions, that sort of thing! Hierophants are classy and educated people and are always willing to listen. Atticus is certainly a classy, cultured individual as the King of Corginia, and he’s arguably the wisest and most experienced of our protagonists! He is a leader, but also a follower, willingly supporting Tulip in her journey… And supposedly, the Bishop/Hierophant is one who stands up against Death when even kings falter. Atticus ‘dies’ and is reborn, he helps Tulip come to terms with change… He’s the first to attack Amelia in her mech, and a brief yet effective obstacle for Mace and Sieve!

           The Fool is… Tulip, this time with emphasis on her in particular! If the Major Arcana tells a story, The Fool is the very beginning, Card number zero… The Fool is the protagonist who goes through the adventure before ending with the World! Given my previous assignment for the World, the idea of ‘zero’, the beginning of a journey… Amidst the Fool also being an outsider with limitless potential, Tulip made the most sense! The Fool isn’t necessarily about being smart or dumb.

          Tulip is our first protagonist, the first character we see, and it’s her that starts off the entire series! It’s Tulip’s journey that sets in motion the events of Books 2 and 3, with her reflection becoming a person, and Amelia’s change of heart inspiring Grace’s redemption! She has the most conventional journey of our protagonists with a defined beginning and end that we’re present throughout… And some artistic depictions of the Fool give them a dog as a companion! So obviously this is Tulip, accompanied by Atticus, and probably One-One as well! Some depictions of the Fool also show them as a vagabond, which fits with Tulip running away with just a backpack of belongings, and how this lands her a ticket aboard the Infinity Train!

           For the Star, I think I’ll choose… A Passenger’s number, specifically one turning zero! In the Major Arcana’s story, the Star comes after the Tower, just as Tulip’s number goes down after the events of the Unfinished Car! It’s about light and hope amidst the darkness… Just as Tulip’s newfound resolve following Atticus’ transformation earns her the exit home, just as the glow of her palm acts as ‘guidance’ amidst the confusion and darkness of the Infinity Train. It’s a way home, and symbolic of recovery… So Tulip’s exact moment in the darkness of the Ball Pit Car, when her number reaches zero, makes sense! Since I’m going with a passenger’s number for the Star, this probably means the World will be either an exit and/or the Infinity Train in a loop around the wasteland.

           The Hermit is soul-searching, inner guidance, introspection, and helping others achieve that as well… So why not have the inner workings of the Tape Car, the process by which tapes are made with the help of those Mini-Ones, Porters shuffling about! Is in the Tape Car that the Infinity Train itself sees into one’s heart and the issues that’s plaguing them, and forms a measurement for a passenger’s number… It’s in one’s own tape that someone can confront their traumas, entering their own mind, and even talk to themselves! Perhaps the specific image would involve the old passenger whose pod Lake hijacked, but in the middle of his tape’s recording! As an old and experience dude, he -unwittingly- provided guidance for the younger Lake!

           And finally, the final tarot card for me to figure out, the Magician! This one will be… One-One! I know we already had him with the Tower, but it doesn’t hurt to have a repeat focusing on the little guy himself! The Magician IS Number One in the deck, after all! Some depictions have the Magician with an infinity symbol above his head… surrounded by foliage, the growth of new ideas, which relates to One-One’s association with Tulip and her ability to spring back from anything! It’s about new beginnings and opportunities, the Magician; And One-One provides this for passengers as the conductor!

          Some would even say the Magician, within the story of the Major Arcana, gets the ball rolling for the adventure and protagonist! Among the Magician’s traits are inspired action and power… One-One is in charge here (ideally), and his job is to help inspire passengers to make a change in their lives and recover! However, the reverse is manipulation, representative of the darker undertones to One-One’s job. Some depictions of the Magician have him with one arm pointed to the universe above, the other to earth below… So artistically, we’d see both halves of One-One, Glad-One facing up with Sad-One pointing down!

           Ultimately, these ideas aren’t exactly set-in-stone, and I’d consider reworking them to include even more imagery, characters, and scenery from the show itself! So any ideas are much welcome, appreciated, and encouraged!

[player-1]

Anyone who’s been in the TMA fandom (or those who understand the bare minimum of the story) know damn well that whatever was going on with Michael D. Stortion and Gabriel/Worker-of-Clay was not just a simple Avatar/Entity partnership. No, in the twisted timeline of the Spiral itself, the Armageddon arms-race pales in comparison to the romantic tragedy subplot those two had long before Jon and Martin were in the picture.

(This is also going to be a long one, and with some MAG 101 spoilers, so buckle on in...)

Here’s what I mean:

Gabriel (or in this case, Gabe) works with Neil Lagorio (Web aligned special-effects dude) in the mid 1900′s on their first movie The Labyrinth of the Minotaur. Unfortunately for him, Gabe quits in 1972 just as the movie was released. 

Not much is known of this time after 1972 up until the dreaded sculpting class in 2004. Speculation-wise, Gabriel might have been corrupted by the Flesh during his movie-making times or earlier before he came into contact with the Spiral.

Reasons: -The Spiral connects with the unraveling of reality, question one’s sanity and eventually “spiraling” into insanity. -The Flesh, in its literal sense, connects to the fear of people or animals being killed for meat; even the appearance of flesh/bone being twisted, bent, or butchered. But it can also connect on a emotional level, such as being viewed weaker than others, mostly relating to a person’s body image. That’s also the reason why the nature of his death is completely unlike the Spiral simply letting him fade out of reality. -Gabriel displays more Flesh-like qualities in his appearance and work up until the end of MAG 126. He doesn’t want people to judge him by appearance alone (even if his entire body is made up of clay) but he makes up for it with his unassuming personality and amazing talent. In a literal sense, he wants to mold himself into the kind of person that gets praised for his clay-making abilities, not just from his creations alone.  

[Enter Ｔｈｅ　Ｄｉｓｔｏｒｔｉｏｎ: Stage Left] Of course, while there’s no evidence on how, when or why the Distortion would target him specifically, but there is one thing. Compared to all the other Spiral avatars and fear-aligned creatures, they all used to be humans in the past. The Spiral by nature is to cast aside their humanity and submit to the nature of insanity. But since most of the Spiral avatars either faded out of existence or just refused to do anything ritual-wise, how was it supposed to create a new world if all they ever do is destroy? It adopts an artist, of course. There’s nothing more chaotic than the struggles of a budding sculptor such as himself. But while that may be a convincing argument for the Spiral to get Gabriel to join the Dark Side, there could be more to convince him that it’s worth following the unknowable being of delusions. Long story short, there was no reason for Gabriel to judge himself so poorly if he knew how to reshape the world to how he sees fit. it would convince him that, like the archangel he’s named after, he could show the world the coming future; twisting the laws of reality so that there’s no room to judge how something should be right or wrong, imaginary or real.  As if they were said from the Lord himself, Gabriel heard the Distortion’s tell him about a new world and finally found inspiration in them.

Then comes the sculpting class.  It’s worth noting that, even with the angel symbolism for Michael and Gabriel, it could be implied that Gabriel is also a goody-two-shoes Christian boy who regularly attends church, as evidence of Michael having knowledge about Mass in MAG 20, assisting the Flesh in driving Father Edwin to cannibalism (so the Flesh and Spiral have an interesting partnership, huh?).  Besides that, this is where Gabriel takes the spotlight. From Deborah’s point of view, he was a strange little man from the beginning; eyes always jutted out of his face, appearing right in someone’s personal space and disappearing just as fast, and of course, his works of clay. (Also a random headcanon just because: Gabriel may be afraid of water, either because his entire body being made of clay, and since you need water to help shape the material, he does not want to get it melded into his own flesh. Could also be the reason why he has short and greasy hair, cause he would practically melt into a puddle if he was unfortunate enough to get wet.) And apart from Deborah and her friends’ growing discomfort over Gabriel in general, he’s just vibing in the back of the class, trying to make a shape for the unknowable form of the Distortion. And the second Deborah inadvertently gives him a break from his artist’s block, he quite literally takes control of the class; switching over the biweekly schedule it was before into every week, and even manipulating the space of the classroom to further support his artistic needs. 

“Ray told us the lesson was ‘faces.’ I put my hand up to say that sculpting faces was probably a bit advanced for where we were in the course, but he shook his head, and said that we were… a lot more talented than we thought. He said the key was that faces were twisted. All faces were twisted on the inside, and all you had to do was reach into the deepest part of yourself and put that twisted on the outside of the clay, and as soon as you can scream you’ll have your own face staring back at you.”  (MAG 126)

This is also the key to the Spiral itself. With Gabriel’s assistance, he will be able to let the spiral to insanity move in reverse, create the physical manifestation of that fear instead of letting it collapse and destroy itself. And in that lesson as well, Gabriel finally creates a fitting image of the Distortion...A door, the physical entrance to insanity itself.

Then comes the final stretch in Sannikov Land, the nonexistent island that was said to exist between the years 2009 and 2011. And as Michael D. Stortion explains in MAG 101, was the perfect place for their ritual, The Great Twisting. After everything Gabriel had done to appease his good “friend”, The Distortion seemed extremely invested in the Worker of Clay at that point. Nevermind the fact that its telling Jon how its identity was stolen away from Michael Shelley by merging with the Distortion, but there’s more to this origin story.

“Michael was protective of the frail old woman he believed her to be. So… so delicate, so forgetful, yet gently wise. He cared for her. He trusted her. And she fed him to me. She made him to destroy our transcendence. And she did not hesitate.” “And it was me they sought to stop. Me and the others of It-Is-Not-What-It-Is. Our Great Twisting. The-Worker-of-Clay had laboured for decades on that contorted, impossible edifice of doors… and stairs… and falsehoods… and smiles. A thousand staring morsels stood, and not one of them believed themselves sane to look upon it. And in the centre, the door that would open to all the places that were never there, was me.“ “Perhaps I should have realised what was happening; seen those two lonely figures approaching me, but I cannot tell you the existential joys of truly… becoming. Of an entireness finally crossing the threshold into your self. So ecstatic was my completeness, I did not even hear my own door creak open.“ “Even sharper than the joy of becoming is the agony of being opened and remade. To have your who torn bloody from your what, and another crudely lashed into its place. To become Michael. And to do so at such a crucial point in our Twisting, in our becoming, well of course it destroyed it. The impossible altar collapsed. The-Worker-of-Clay tore out his veins to dissolve himself in crimson mud. The others of us were cast to all the places that aren’t; some have still not found their way out again...My very existence tied to my pointlessness. Wearing my failure as the very fabric of my being. Reduced once again to feeding on the unsuspecting and confused. That is who I am.“ (MAG 101)

Even if all of this was to explain how the Distortion became the being it is in the series, it’s easy to see how overjoyed it was during the ritual. All that the Spiral ever did was bring the sense of unreality and paranoia unto people for ages, only breaking down the mind until they eventually spiral into oblivion. It wanted to be something, it wanted to make something twisted and nonsensical from the world, to shape the world itself to the nature of insanity. And after all that time, no matter how many avatars it had in its control, Gabriel was the only one who began creating the ritual. Even if it was for an ulterior motive, The Distortion was pretty giddy as Gabriel worked for years on end to create the meaning of insanity; to create something that the Distortion saw as the perfect vessel for itself. And even as it was explaining it, with all these feelings of joy and ecstasy and very human thoughts and emotions, this was before it was forced to become Michael. So much for not being bound by human nature, huh? But it’s pretty ironic that, as the embodiment of delusions, insanity and lies, it never considered the idea of having an avatar that could make something out of that chaos. Even if the Distortion was explaining how Michael-not-Michael Shelley came into being, it also can be interpreted as Michael just yearning for his best Avatar so far.  So instead of “I’m going to tell you my entire backstory.”, it’s more like “I’m going to tell you how a nosy old woman and her idiotic assistant ruined my chances to be with my Avatar of the Decade who may or may not be my boyfriend.”

In conclusion, Gabriel AKA The Worker of Clay AKA Igor with an art degree became the Hands of the Spiral because the nonbinary embodiment of delusion (who is also a door) gave a miserable struggling artist a shot of self-confidence (and a shot out of the Flesh’s control), eventually becoming its #1 Boyfriend Avatar of all time, and is the only person that would make the “hates gender and existence itself” Distortion yearn for years after his tragic death.

Takes notes people, this is what peak performance looks like.

[dolohcv]

❝ A fire, a fire is burning! I hear the boot of Lucifer, I see his filthy face! ❞ huh, who’s ZAZIE BEETS? no, you’re mistaken, that’s actually EDEN DOLOHOV. she is a THIRTY-ONE year old PUREBLOOD witch who is a DESIGNER FOR TWILFITT AND TATTINGS. she is known for being APATHETIC, DISCOURTEOUS, ARROGANT, DISHONEST, and BIASED but also TOUGH, FOCUSED, PERCEPTIVE, SKILLFUL, and DECISIVE, so that must be why she always reminds me of the song BLOODY MARY by LADY GAGA and DANCING IN A CROWDED NIGHTCLUB, MUSCLE ACHES AFTER A LONG RUN, TOUCHING UP YESTERDAY’S EYELINER, THE TANG OF FRESH LIME JUICE, BURNING YOUR FINGER ON HOT CANDLE WAX. i hear she is aligned with THE DEATH EATERS, so be sure to keep an eye on her.

tw: murder, sibling death, general violence. 

history. 

eden dolohov is a woman for whom there have been little consequences for bad behavior. it comes with the territory of being in a family that values power over everything else  —  magical power, power that stretches across generations, power that comes from something deep and pure from time immemorial. 

antonin dolohov — her grandfather and guiding patriarch of the family — gains a compassionate release from azkaban by claiming insanity. and maybe he is, but he’s certainly not fragile. he returns to his son, maxim sr., daughter-in-law, aminata, grandson maxim jr, and granddaughters eden and dasha as a quieter man, but no less fanatical. no less dedicated to the dark lord, whom he believes to still be alive.

antonin sees eden’s fierceness and drive from a young age. she takes to magic like a grindylow to water, has a wand in her hand (lent from her mother) as young as seven. her tantrums are legendary. her power is frightening. but instead of being punished she’s rewarded for her violence, given toys and sweets and pretty things. “an excellent weapon,” antonin says, beaming. “you’ll serve our dark lord well.” 

maxim jr., the intended heir, tries, tries, tries, but just can’t manage to do the same things his sister can. his jealousy burns as bright as her talent. his frustrations? he takes out on dasha. 

dasha is a squib. there are never any bubbles appearing from nowhere, no literal bouncing baby girl, no levitating crayons. eden loves her little sister in spite of it — maybe because of it, as she’s never in competition with her non-magical sibling. antonin suggests the family toss her off of the third floor balcony to kickstart her magic during one of his drunken rants. only one family member takes this idea seriously. 

[ SIBLING DEATH, MURDER TW ]

when twelve-year-old eden finds nine-year-old dasha crumpled at the foot of the stairs, fifteen-year-old maxim jr. looming over her with a mixture of shame and triumph written all over his face, she absolutely loses it. she casts the first spell that comes to mind, a spell she’s never tried before, a spell she’s only seen her grandfather cast on training dummies. with a flash of purple flame, maxim jr.’s chest caves in on itself and blood spurts from his mouth. he’s dead before he hits the floor.

her father takes the fall for these murders — aminata can’t lose a third child in as many hours, and antonin can’t lose his prized gift to the dark lord. maxim sr. figures he faces time in azkaban that will end with a returned dark lord’s interference, but his children’s deaths coincide with a major child welfare reform bill (authored by astoria malfoy) being passed by the wizengamot, and he receives the dementor’s kiss. [ END TW ] 

within a year eden has a new stepfather and little sister. she finds it easier than she thought it would to let aminata become a borgin, to grow cold and unkind and attracted to violence as an outlet. she sees something of her own fierceness in victoria. likes her. she’s not dasha, that’s for sure —  but that’s a good thing.

present day. 

by day, eden serves the wealthy clientele of twilfitt and tattings with a mixture of hatred for the retail profession and a love for fine clothes and luxury. by night, she is an eager soldier for the death eaters, positively reveling in the destruction she is capable of causing. her particular brand of violence is calculated and specific. she regularly offers ideas to her fellow death eaters on ways to twist the knife (literal or figurative) deeper into their victims. 

for eden, cruelty is the point. after all, it’s all she knows.

— 

STATS 

name. eden natalya dolohov

birthdate. 14th february 1998

place of birth. st. mungo’s

family.  aminata borgin (formerly dolohov, née mbaye) — mother, maxim dolohov sr. (recipient of dementor’s kiss) — father, maxim jr. –– older brother, dasha (deceased) - little sister, victoria borgin — stepsister, nicholas borgin ii — stepfather, various younger half-siblings

occupation. designer and seamstress at twilfitt and tattings 

gender identity. cis-woman

romantic orientation. biromantic

sexuality. bisexual

blood status. pureblood

relationship status. single

pets. a bat named vladislav - vlad for short. 

HOGWARTS / MAGIC

house. former ravenclaw

allegiance. the death eaters

n.e.w.t. grades. defense (o), charms (o), herbology (o), potions (o), history of magic (o), ancient runes (a), care of magical creatures (p) 

wand. ash, 10 inches, dragon heartstring core, springy

boggart. her sister’s ghost, asking why eden didn’t protect her

amortentia. the deep woods, gillywater and gin, limes, clean fabric. 

magical strengths. hexes, curses, herbology, legilimency (to an extent), occulmency, potions.

magical weaknesses. transfiguration, care of magical creatures, spells that require positive emotion (ie. patronus charm, boggart banishing spell) 

PERSONALITY

zodiac.  

sun - aquarius - “…aquarians are generally very clever, witty, and intellectual. They value progress and frankness. It’s difficult to throw Aquarians for a loop–they’re generally on top of things…”

moon - aquarius - “…whether due to character or conditioning, moon in aquarius people often grow up feeling “different”. although rather sociable, they are often loners at heart…their inner feeling of loneliness–that they don’t quite fit in–puts them on the outside, looking in…”

rising - libra - “libra rising generally appear to be smoothing everything over. they have charming smiles, a gentle approach with others, and an easygoing image. even if they were not endowed with good looks, they are attractive. most pay a lot of attention to their personal appearance – the colors they wear, their hair, the way they walk…libra rising people can be enormously persuasive, although they will almost always use a “soft sell” approach when they want to win others over, which is all of the time!”

mbti.  - ENTJ

+ efficient, self-confident, strong-willed

- intolerant, arrogant, ruthless 

[strawberrysolitude]

Jackson Wang – 100 Ways

Okay. So. Unlike other talented content creators, the only thing I’m somewhat good at is putting my feelings into words. So that’s what you’re getting!

I love Jackson’s new solo, and I wanna talk about the different aspects, namely the music, the lyrics, and the visuals in the MV. So let’s go!

1. the music

I. Love. The baseline. The running guitar line in “Bullet to the Heart” was already super ragged and rhythmical, but here, it’s a lot smoother while running under the melody like a little stream of water. No big ups and downs, just little tiny waves, but still enough to convey constant movements and to make you wanna dance along.

The melody in the verses is really beautiful, a little melancholic, and fits right into Jackson’s higher range. He sounds emotional without putting too much strain onto his voice. The melody in the chorus??? That right there is pure Jackson! Smack-dab in the middle of his voice range, which makes it possible for him to put a lot more power behind his singing. The chorus sounds a lot more like a song to dance to, and I love how that contradicts the actual theme of the lyrics (but more on that later).

The gonging bass that sets in during the chorus helps to hit home the underlying heaviness of it all. It tapers out during the “I’m the only one that you need line” and underlines how there’s still a bit of lightness in that part.

The flute? I love it? It has such a haunting and tragic melody and fits with the sort of medieval theme of the video perfectly.

The beat keeps pounding more steadily during the second chorus, but even though it might be fitting for it to be more like a war drum, it’s still subdued - war is over for a dead soldier, after all, the steady call of the marching drum nothing but an echo in the afterlife.

Right before the “dance break”, the accompaniement tapers off and even comes to a complete halt as the soldiers in the video fall backwards and disappear. They and the music both give Jackson and his lover time alone, so to speak.

The last part leaves us with a gonging, intense bass, pounding drums, a hauntingly beautiful flute melody and Jackson crooning his highest parts of the chorus melody before stating, almost in his speaking voice and very matter-of-factly, “I’m the only one that you need.” What an impression to go out on!

2. the lyrics

There were two parts of the lyrics in the verses that really stuck out to me: the hourglass and the curtain call.

An hourglass is not only associated with time passing, but with mortality itself. The grim reaper is often portrayed holding an hourglass, every grain of sand a day of a person’ lifespan, and once all of them have rained down, he comes to collect their soul. The image projected here is that there is an expiration date to the relationship Jackson’s talking about. Yet at the same time, to start any relationship, the hourglass has to be turned, which is why it’s the first line of the song. Nothing lasts forever, but it might be that this relationship is coming to and end “too fast” for the other partner.

A curtain call, as well, indicates the end of something. Interesting to me is how Jackson says in this verse that he doesn’t care about the opinion of others, yet relates his relationship to a play in a theater, indicating that it’s a performance put on to impress others. Haven’t we all had the feeling of performing a relationship, trying our best to express love in patterns that we’ve learned and to please somebody by putting on a show?

Despite these sort of negative images, the song still manages to put a somewhat positive spin on the fears of a relationship ending too soon and maybe even being just for show.

Don’t waste your love, just let it last 'Cause once it's gone it's never coming back

But if you’re ready I will give my all

These lines convey that it’s okay to love with all you’ve got. Even if it might not be forever, the time you had together still counts. Love is not something finite, a relationship is not a transaction where you can get your love back if you still have a warranty. It might hurt in the end, but you’re guaranteed to have a good time if you give it your all now.

As for the chorus, this is actually a bit puzzling to me. Is it cynical? Hopeful? Boasting? Melancholic?

Could you love me the same? Tell me what makes you stay? There’s a hundred ways to leave a lover I won’t wait a minute longer Hundred ways to leave But I’m the only one that you need 

Could you love me the same ... after what happened? After the lover has left? After they have been hurt? After the relationship is over? What makes you stay ... even though what? It might be that their relationship is strained and that they’re not sure about each other’s feelings and whether they’re loving each other right.

“There’s a hundred ways to leave a lover” – now there’s an iconic line for you! In my opinion, it sounds a little bit sassy and sarcastic, its lightheartedness contradicting the heavy decision of ending a relationship. The melody on this line, however, sounds tragic and serious, which makes me rethink again.

I won’t wait a minute longer ... to do what? Or is he waiting for his partner to do something, to act, to decide? I think the latter fits a bit more, seeing as he confidently states “I’m the only one that you need”.

Bottom line: What I read out of these lyrics is this: “I’m the only one that you need, so why do you keep making me wait? Why are you treating me like there’s an expiration date on our relationship? If you commit fully, I’m ready to give you my all. If you really wanted to leave, there’s lots of ways for you to end this, but you haven’t yet. You obviously want to stay, so why don’t you say yes to this relationship?”

3. the visuals

In this part, I might focus a little more on the story told in the MV, which in my opinion is a bit removed from the lyrics. Although dying on your lover is definitely one way to leave them ... ahem.

In the beginning, the gravestones are arranged in a circle, and there’s concentric lines drawn in the ground as well. You know about the circle of life? This circle is closed, so this life has come full circle, has come to its end. However, a circle can also be interpreted as the wheel of lives turning and bringing reincarnation.

The soldiers are wearing black and red. In this combination, these colors seem sort of dark and almost demonic, which helps underline the fact that these people are basically necromancers right now.

The ever-present fog throughout the whole video serves multiple purposes. Firstly, it helps establish a sort of battlefield atmosphere: right before dawn, where you can’t see much and the enemy could be attacking any time. Secondly, it makes things seem unreal and ethereal, like all of this is already taking place in the afterlife. Lastly, it helps make Jackson look like a ghost. There’s a tiny moment around 0:55 where it even looks like he’s breathing out fog!

Jackson rises from the grave wearing his underclothes, not his armor, which are disshevelled and dirty. There’s dirt on his face also. This could be because he was literally under the ground, but we later see his lover rise from the grave looking pristine. My take on this is that, as a soldier, Jackson was buried in haste after a battle, and his comrades didn’t have time to wash his body or do any of the rites to prepare him for the burying.

However, now that they’re resurrecting him, they are putting on his armor for him, gearing him up, making him look like himself again, less vulnerable and quite literally ready for battle. What’s he fighting for? True love, of course!

In the next scene, they’re walking together through a dark forest, trees without leaves, towards a light. I don’t think there’s much to be interpreted her: The afterlife is bleak, but you walk towards a warm light in the hopes that it comforts you. An interesting bit is when one of the dancers knocks one of the tress over and it falls down. That could have been a coincidence, but the leaves rustling as the tree hits the ground are literally part of the audio! Any thoughts on that?

The single tree with a gravestone beneath it looks very different from the graveyard where Jackson was resurrected. There’s a beautiful, warm light, and red leaves falling all over like flower petals. They’re only like flower petals, though, the falling leaves clearly indicating autumn, the end of the year, days getting shorter and darker, cold and unmoving winter on its way, life sucked away.

The group dances together one last time – I think soldier Jackson has some of the best friends in the world. They resurrected him from his grave, dressed him back up in his armor and gave him a little cheering dance before he saw his lover again. And then they fall back into the mist and disappear! The way they hold their bodies really stiff and unnatural makes me think of death again. Where they ghosts, too, all along?

Then, Jackson’s lover appears. She is dressed in beautiful clothes, even wearing jewelery, her face is clean and her hair is done. Clearly she’s from a wealthy background, not like foot soldier Jackson who’s been buried in a haste. Her family or a priest has done all the rites for her burying. Curiously, she is buried wearing lots of red, a color traditionally used for weddings (and which has popped up in the video a lot, as well). Under the red, a little white is shining through, showing us that she’s dead. Maybe she hasn’t moved on from her wish to marry yet? The red cloak is stripped away, revealing more of the white. Is she ready to move on now that she’s met her lover again?

The lovers share a dance, a clear reminiscence of a wedding dance. She ends up in Jackson’s arms, holding on tight while he decides it’s time for them to return to the afterlife, together. They sink back into the grave, closely holding onto each other, and the last thing we see is Jackson’s face, singing “I’m the only one that you need” while being swallowed by the mist.

Gosh dang it, I’ve got goosebumps all over! And not because of the scary ghosts. Your love may end, just like any life will end, but it was there, and its remnants will stay relevant for you even in the afterlife. Beautiful.

[secretlyatargaryen]

The Strings of Those Who Came Before, An Analysis of Tyrion and Tywin as Rulers Part II: I Must Be Stone

I said in Part 1 that although Tyrion tries a lot to emulate Tywin in the political/military sphere, he’s at his best when he ISN’T doing that. Tyrion’s best successes as a ruler are when he shows compassion and uses his natural empathy for others to understand how best to rule. A lot of what he learned from Tywin, although good for creating immediate success, is extremely toxic. Although Tyrion probably didn’t have much in the way of formal training on how to lead, because he was never expected to either inherit a lordship or lead men into battle, and I don’t think Tywin ever expected to put him into the position of power he puts him in at the end of AGOT, Tyrion did pick up quite a lot from his father, and because Tywin was a terrible father, a lot of that was negative. From Tywin, Tyrion learned how to be ruthless, how to be cruel, how to instill fear. In particular, we see this in the scene between Tyrion and Cersei after she tells him that she’s taken Alayaya.

What’s interesting about this scene is that Tyrion is playing two roles. One is Tywin 2.0, and the other is the monster Cersei has always thought him to be, and he’s actually combined those two monstrous figures that have overshadowed his life to try to give himself an image of authority over the sister who he knows he cannot show weakness in front of.

She truly believes I mean to kill my own nephew. "The boys are safe," he promised her wearily. "Gods be good, Cersei, they're my own blood! What sort of man do you take me for?"

"A small and twisted one."         

Tyrion stared at the dregs on the bottom of his wine cup. What would Jaime do in my place? Kill the bitch, most likely, and worry about the consequences afterward. But Tyrion did not have a golden sword, nor the skill to wield one. He loved his brother's reckless wrath, but it was their lord father he must try and emulate. Stone, I must be stone, I must be Casterly Rock, hard and unmovable. If I fail this test, I had as lief seek out the nearest grotesquerie. "For all I know, you've killed her already," he said.                 

and

He pushed himself to his feet. "Keep her then, but keep her safe. If these animals think they can use her . . . well, sweet sister, let me point out that a scale tips two ways." His tone was calm, flat, uncaring; he'd reached for his father's voice, and found it. "Whatever happens to her happens to Tommen as well, and that includes the beatings and rapes." If she thinks me such a monster, I'll play the part for her.                 

Cersei had not expected that.

It’s interesting that Tyrion both is mindful here of how his disability puts him at a disadvantage (contrasting himself with Jaime, who never untied a Gordion knot when he could just slice through it) and aware of how Cersei sees his dwarfism as evidence of his inherent immorality, and expects danger from him. This is an experience that I think is familiar to a lot of oppressed people, the feeling of being treated simultaneously as a threat and a victim. As Tyrion says, though, the scale tips two ways, and he uses this to his advantage. Which IS a truly smart move.

And in order to reach for the authority and danger he is trying to project, he of course reaches for his father. He reaches for Casterly Rock, and stone. This is a really great symbolic image because Casterly Rock itself is symbolic for the dysfunction of House Lannister, repression and emotional coldness, lack of humanity, lack of empathy. Stone symbolizes strength but it also symbolizes cruelty, and it’s not the only time in the text that Tywin Lannister is associated with stone, in particular in Tyrion’s mind.

“They say that the Shrouded Lord will grant a boon to any man who can make him laugh. Perhaps His Grey Grace will choose you to ornament his stony court."                 

Duck glanced at his companion uneasily. "It's not good to jape of that one, not when we're so near the Rhoyne. He hears."

There’s an obvious association between Tywin and The Shrouded Lord, right down to his name. In ADWD, Tyrion is seeing Tywin’s ghost everywhere, including in Old Griff, but in particular we are introduced to this legend of a Shrouded Lord, shrouded obviously invoking the image of a corpse wrapped in a burial shroud, a lord of the dead, a lord of stone. A lord who never laughs.

And what Haldon says also invokes the idea of Tyrion as dwarf jester, a court ornament, sImilar to the way Tywin saw Tyrion as a mockery of him and his house. It’s also an interesting association because in our own history, court dwarfs were meant to appear ridiculous in order to contrast with and emphasize the power and respectability of the royals. By making Tyrion an ornament in his court, Tywin, or the Shrouded Lord, is emphasizing his own power. Which I think is also why, although Tywin complained about Tyrion being an embarrassment to him, he never tried to teach others to respect his dwarf son. Thus Tyrion becomes the scapegoat for House Lannister, both the shame of the Lannister name and a contrast to emphasize the greatness of the others.

Tyrion is affected by the story of the Shrouded Lord almost immediately upon hearing it.

His grey kiss. The thought made his flesh crawl. Death had lost its terror for Tyrion Lannister, but greyscale was another matter. The Shrouded Lord is just a legend, he told himself, no more real than the ghost of Lann the Clever that some claim haunts Casterly Rock.

Despite spending most of the series as a self-professed cynic, it’s interesting that Tyrion chooses this moment to believe in ghost stories. Although, then again, Tyrion also has a strong affinity with dragons (and peering into flames), so perhaps it’s not that strange after all. Notice the association with the supposedly haunted Casterly Rock, another link to Tywin and House Lannister.

The association between Tywin and the Shrouded Lord does not end there.

"We are made of blood and bone, in the image of the Father and the Mother," said Septa Lemore. "Make no vainglorious boasts, I beg you. Pride is a grievous sin. The stone men were proud as well, and the Shrouded Lord was proudest of them all."

For all that Tywin Lannister wants to convince the world that he is made of stone, he is strongly associated with the worldly sin of pride. So, too, it is pride that is strongly associated with the stone men and their dead lord.

The specific wording in the above quote also calls to mind the play-within-the-story that is about Tyrion, specifically:

When the dwarf appeared suddenly from behind a wooden tombstone, the crowd began to hiss and curse. Bobono waddled to the front of the stage and leered at them. "The seven-faced god has cheated me," he began, snarling the words. "My noble sire he made of purest gold, and gold he made my siblings, boy and girl. But I am formed of darker stuff, of bones and blood and clay..."

Pride here is associated with thinking that one is above human failures. We are told that the gods make us out of flesh and blood, they make us to be fallable, human. Lord Tywin passes him and his house off as if it is made of gold. And even though it’s repeated as a joke, the idea that even Tywin’s shit is gold is also a symbolic defiance of the gods, a presumption to be above mere humanity. It’s fitting that the divine punishment for such a person should be to slowly become hardened from the inside out, flesh turned to cold stone.

He dreamt of his lord father and the Shrouded Lord. He dreamt that they were one and the same, and when his father wrapped stone arms around him and bent to give him his grey kiss, he woke with his mouth dry and rusty with the taste of blood and his heart hammering in his chest.

Notice how the Shrouded Lord becomes Tyrion’s father in the dream, when he goes to wrap him with “stone arms” and “give him his grey kiss.” This is a pretty direct analogy not only for the fear of death that greyscale represents, and which has also become associated with Tywin in Tyrion’s mind after his father’s death, but it’s a great metaphor for the lack of parental affection Tyrion received. Tywin’s embrace is stone and his kiss is grey, bringing not love or belonging but death and fear.

Tyrion wanted to slap him, to spit in his face, to draw his dagger and cut the heart out of him and see if it was made of old hard gold, the way the smallfolks said.

For hands of gold (or stone) are always cold.

There’s another version of the Shrouded Lord tale that doesn’t involve him being (un)dead, but rather a legacy title:

"The dead do not rise," insisted Haldon Halfmaester, "and no man lives a thousand years. Yes, there is a Shrouded Lord. There have been a score of them. When one dies another takes his place.” 

This is interesting because of the question that I’ve dealt with before in Part 1, and from which the title of this series comes: are we doomed to repeat the mistakes of our parents? I think it’s significant that Tyrion comes very close in this book to literally becoming like the Shrouded Lord himself, turning to stone from the inside out. This is a literal representation of the existential crisis that he faces with regard to what kind of man he will be in the end.

Beyond the veil of dream, the Sorrows were waiting for him. Stone steps ascending endlessly, steep and slick and treacherous, and somewhere at the top, the Shrouded Lord. I do not want to meet the Shrouded Lord.

The endless stone steps, slick and treacherous, make me think of Casterly Rock. I imagine Casterly Rock was full of stairs, carved into stone and slick with seawater. Not exactly friendly to someone with Tyrion’s bad legs and chronic pain.

What is interesting, though, is that right after he thinks this, Tyrion literally falls down a flight of stairs.

Tyrion fumbled back into his clothes again and groped his way to the stair. Griff will flay me. Well, why not? If ever a dwarf deserved a skinning, I'm him.    

Halfway down the steps, he lost his footing. Somehow he managed to break his tumble with his hands and turn it into a clumsy thumping cartwheel. The whores in the room below looked up in astonishment when he landed at the foot of the steps. Tyrion rolled onto his feet and gave them a bow.

What saves Tyrion from falling down the stairs? Embracing precisely the part of himself that was an embarrassment to Tywin.

Going back to the scene where Cersei confronts Tyrion about Alayaya, though, way back in book 2, it’s Tyrion’s attempt to channel Tywin, although done to protect Alayaya from harm, that ultimately works against Tyrion.

"I have never liked you, Cersei, but you were my own sister, so I never did you harm. You've ended that. I will hurt you for this. I don't know how yet, but give me time. A day will come when you think yourself safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you'll know the debt is paid."            

In war, his father had told him once, the battle is over in the instant one army breaks and flees. No matter that they're as numerous as they were a moment before, still armed and armored; once they had run before you they would not turn to fight again. So it was with Cersei. "Get out!" was all the answer she could summon. "Get out of my sight!"

Tyrion again thinks of Tywin, here, and he wins the battle but he doesn’t ultimately win the war. Not only can he not truly protect Alayaya, but his threat against Cersei is ultimately used as evidence against him in his trial during ASOS, and used as proof of his monstrosity. I think this does say something about the inherent contradiction in Tyrion trying to model Tywin’s ruthlessness in order to accomplish what is a worthy goal - protecting someone in need of protection. Tyrion can’t protect Alayaya in the end, and also is unwilling to follow through with his threat against Tommen, and in the end he’s the one who ends up looking like a monster because of the ableist campaign against him.

In my opinion, Tyrion’s best moments, that show him as a true leader, are not when he pretends to be made of stone, not when he tries to model the legacy of pain and cruelty that he was born into, but when he shows compassion and empathy despite it. When he leads the sortie during Blackwater, when he protects Sansa, when he empowers Bran, when he gives counsel to Jon, when he takes the initiative to free himself and Penny and Jorah from bondage, these are the moments that show him as a true leader.

Tyrion ultimately loses power in King’s Landing because of factors that spiral beyond his control, but I do think that GRRM is trying to say that hardening your heart to others is not the way to be a true leader. Tywin Lannister meets his end after a legacy of trauma and devastation that nearly swallows Tyrion as well, but Tyrion is not without his own allies, those who remember his kindness, and three of those people, Sansa, Jon, and Bran, are poised to have a strong impact on the future of Westeros already.

I’ve talked a lot about Tyrion’s association with stone in a negative sense, but stone is also an element that has positive connotations, and this essay which I find very interesting also posits Tyrion as representing stone/earth, the third element grounding ice and fire. SInce Tyrion is a dualistic and liminal character in multiple senses, I think it’s fitting that he should represent both of these connotations. You could also say that stone and earth are two different things, or two different sides of the same coin. I also think I made the connection before of Tyrion’s black eye representing earth, in which case the green eye, the Lannister one, might represent stone, emerald being a gemstone often associated with the Lannisters. Tyrion’s eyes are one of the most visual representations of his duality, so they’re important.

Which I think is all I have to say on this subject for now.

[fiti-vation]

Unpopular opinion: TLC’s My 600-lb Life Story TV show needs improvement

I can never finish watching most episodes of My 600-Lb Life Story on TLC because there is always something that breaks my heart and makes my soul slightly cripple.  Today, I was watching Renee Biran's Story and literally only 15 min in, my eyes were bawling.  Studying in social sciences really made me understand the importance of knowing a person's story before judging them. Not only did Renee's social network (i.e., her family, especially her mother) failed her, but so did the school system and the medical world.

A program such as TLC's 600-pound Life Story has a golden opportunity to shed light on the ever-growing societal problem of obesity, but it fails all too often because it still ignores the fact that health is a multidimensional concept. If you have followed me for years, you know that not only do I promote physical health, but all types of health. As I have emphasized multiple times over the years, being healthy isn’t just about the physical aspects like eating better and getting exercise – it’s about all aspects of your health: physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. In other words, health/wellness goes beyond exercising and eating health. Health encompasses 7 dimensions; each dimension contributes to our own sense of wellness or quality of life, and each affects and overlaps the others. At times one may be more prominent than others but neglect of any one dimension for any length of time has adverse effects on overall health.

The Seven Dimensions of Wellness • Physical • Emotional • Intellectual • Social • Spiritual • Environmental • Occupational

The link between mental health and physical health is often misunderstood. They’re often thought of as separate entities, but the two go hand in hand. In fact, the World Health Organization defines health as a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being.

The problem

What bothers me most about TLC's 600-pound life story program, is that they focus solely on the physical aspect of health. With respect to Renee's story, I do not understand why they did not start with psychological help first. This is a recurrent problem that I have noticed while watching many episodes of My 600-pound life story; many cases revolve around mental and emotional issues.

As stated in one of my previous posts, “the first step to any fitness goals is mental wellbeing.  I am a huge advocate of mental discipline. Most of us think that it is our body that will get the job done when in fact it is our mind. If you’re not right mentally you will never perform well physically. Mental toughness is really what will get you to the finish line. The body achieves what the mind believes! Mental limits will hinder you far behind physical limits will”.  Mental health and physical health are fundamentally linked.

The My 600-pound life story program does the mistake that too many people do when getting into fitness. Too many people get into physical health without cultivating mental health… Mental toughness is really what gets you to finish a workout when you don’t feel like it! Again here, the body achieves what the mind believes! When it comes to training, I feel 90% is mental and 10% is physical.

Although the program has tremendously helped Renee, I feel that they have also done her a disservice. You cannot ask someone who is mentally weak and unstable to be physically strong! It is not realistic and you’re doing that person a disservice.

Poor mental health can affect one’s ability to make healthy decisions and fight off chronic diseases.

The problem - Are they really promoting wellness?

Promoting physical well-being without emphasizing other aspects of health not only minimizes the importance of the seven dimensions of health, but also promotes and perpetuates the misconception that losing weight / being fit equates happiness.

The perceived disconnect between “mind” and “body” creates the misconception that mental illness is not a physical disease. In reality, mental health has a direct impact on your physical health.

Wellness is the pursuit of continued growth and balance in the seven dimensions of wellness. Too many people think about "wellness" in terms of physical health only. The word invokes thoughts of nutrition, exercise, weight management, blood pressure, etc. Wellness, however, is much more than physical health, it involves much more than your pant size. Wellness is a mindset and a holistic way of life. Wellness is a full integration of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. It is a complex interaction that leads to quality of life.

Shows like My 600 lb Story need to start emphasizing all aspects of health not just the physical part.

Heal Your Soul and The Body Will Heal Itself (Healing first)

Only once one has a clear mind can they have a clear vision of their goals. A clear mind is a healthy, productive mind.

The only way to become mentally, emotionally and spiritually strong is by healing ourselves first. Prior to an aesthetically fit body one’s mind must be aesthetically fit. Train the mind and the mind will train the body. Willpower is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. The starting point of all achievements is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desires bring weak results.

Whatever part of you is broken internally won’t be affected simply by getting a new body. Simply put, a new body won’t repair a broken soul. A dream body won’t make all of your problems disappear. So many people have “dream” bodies but are internally miserable.

It’s absolutely crazy how much value we put on weight in our lives. It’s as if losing weight is the secret to finding love, having more confidence, more success, more friends and a golden ticket to begin the rest of our lives.

I've seen many individuals lose weight, only to find they still have the same problems and stresses in their lives that they had before the weight loss – they still struggle with the heavy thoughts and beliefs that contributed to the weight gain in the first place. The fundamental thing that has to shift in order to create permanent change is how someone sees themselves, aka your self-image.

Happiness is complex and multileveled. And weight loss is not the antidote to the things that truly make us unhappy.

Research consistently shows that when people start workout programs with "weight loss" as their main motivator, they are automatically less likely to stick with their healthy lifestyles. And, according to findings from the University of California–Los Angeles, after losing weight, most people gain it all back – and then some – within a handful of years.

In regard to Renee, chances are at some point in her life she became disconnected from the authentic, beautiful, brilliant self that she truly is and as a result, became unhappy. It just so happens that unhappiness is one of the biggest triggers to weight gain. In essence, her unhappiness has nothing to do with the weight.  The weight is a by-product of you not being happy. If she wants to permanently change this, it’s necessary to go back to the core where it all started.

We know there are many things that contribute to poor health: smoking, bad diet, sleep deprivation, a lack of exercise. But did you know that exposure to traumatic events as a child also contributes to poor health later in life?

Childhood trauma has been linked to things like cancer, obesity, heart disease, diabetes, and depression. Studies are increasingly showing us that things like physical, verbal, and sexual abuse, physical and emotional neglect, and family instability (substance abuse, death or divorce, domestic violence, incarceration, mental illness) are intrinsically tied to your general health and well-being.

The most critical part of the problem with Renee isn’t her poor eating habits and lack of exercise, but her trauma. The roots of Renee’s emotional eating come from her childhood trauma. That being said, even if Renee manages to get to healthy weight, there is a strong likelihood she may fall back into the same pitfall if she does not deal with her emotional trauma. Instead of taking on weight-loss as a cure-all, the energy here should have been poured into addressing the real sources of Renee’s unhappiness.

When we’re living with blame or shame, we use food to soothe, stay in unhealthy relationships, and let go of all of our boundaries.  

The untold truth of My 600-lb Life

An article written by Lisa Swan for The List touches on everything discussed above. In her article Swan acknowledges that many of the participants on the show have experiences some sort of childhood trauma.

If you've ever watched the TV show Intervention, you know about the clear link between childhood trauma and addiction to drugs and alcohol. My 600-lb Life shows that it's the same deal with food addiction, which is what the participants all appear to be afflicted with. In many cases this is due to the terrible things they endured during their childhoods, such as sexual, physical, and/or emotional abuse. Some participants were raped when they were young, and put on the weight as a protective mechanism. Others ate to make themselves feel better. For example, Ashley Reyes said she used food to cope after her uncle raped her when she was 12. "I didn't know what to do," she said on the show (via The Wrap). "I didn't know how to feel safe. So I would eat to gain back whatever little happiness I could."

That's why when participants start losing weight, emotions often bubble to the surface. Weight loss surgery has removed their coping mechanism (overeating), and that can present additional challenges. For example, it was only when Ashley went through therapy after surgery to deal with the abuse that she started to really lose weight.

Food for thoughts

Society's definition of healthy isn't very good. It's almost strictly physical, which means so many people qualify as healthy when they're struggling with other unhealthy aspects of their lives. We all need a better definition of what being healthier is. And, even if yours doesn't end up being as rigorous as mine, at least find out what your own definition of healthier is.

When more and more people will start to realize that being healthy is not just about exercising and eating healthy, society will no longer consider fitness as just an end goal. Fitness is not an end goal. It is not a number on a weighing scale. It is not a dress size. Fitness is a lifestyle. It is a journey. And along that journey, you must work on ALL aspects of your health, not just your physical health.

Heal your inside and the rest will follow 🍃🔁

[alternativeartifactspodcast-blog]

2 - The Peacock Room & Filthy Lucre

Image Credit

This week’s episode explores the unique story behind two related objects: The Peacock Room and Filthy Lucre. 

LISTEN NOW

Resources Used (in order of reference)

The Peacock Room Comes to America

The Peacock Room in Blue and White

The Story Behind the Peacock Room’s Princess

Filthy Lucre

Filthy Lucre Events

The Peacock Room: REMIX

Smithsonian Press Release on Filthy Lucre

The Making of Filthy Lucre This Far Blog Post 

Further Readings

Washington Post on Sackler Family

Forbes on the Louvre

Time on the Louvre

Observer on Sackler Family

Smithsonian Video on Peacock Room: REMIX

For show notes, keep reading.

Greetings and welcome to Alternative Artifacts, a museum in your ear, the podcast that explores the strange stories behind the most unique objects in museum’s collections. Ever wonder how a gigantic Naked George Washington ended up in the American History Museum? Or why there is an entire museum dedicated to art made from human hair? Now you can listen to the stories of America’s most iconic objects from your favorite exhibit or from the comfort of your own home. My name is Lexi and I will be your tour guide. 

[Transition Music]

As mentioned in our previous episode, this season is focused on the Smithsonian Institution. Throughout this season, some of the object’s stories we explore will expose the complicated, colonial history of the Institution, some will reveal how museum methods effect objects, and others will provide a glimpse into the lives of objects beyond the confines of the museum. Today’s objects represent a cross-section of these topics.

What do you picture when you picture an artifact? Is it something manmade or natural? Does it fit inside a breadbox? Or could it be an entire room? Today’s first object is in fact, an entire room. If you ever visit the Freer|Sackler Gallery in Washington, D.C., you will notice that one gallery sets itself apart from the rest. You see, the gallery itself is a piece of art. This work of art is The Peacock Room, a decadent, excessive expression of wealth which is sometimes home to rotating displays of Chinese porcelain and has occasionally been left empty to accent its own artistic prowess. 

[Transition Music]

The history of The Peacock Room is complex. It is a story fit for a historical drama, entangled by conflicts over money, creativity, and presentation. Frederick R. Leyland was a rich shipping tycoon of nineteenth century England. His personal hobby was collecting Chinese porcelain. Frederick displayed this vast collection of porcelain in his dining room. On one wall of the dining room, he presented his most beloved possession and the focal point of his home, a painting by James McNeill Whistler called The Princess from the Land of Porcelain. This painting was a fitting accent to the vases and bowls which surrounded it. The painting depicts a Western woman dressed in traditional Chinese clothing.

Eventually, Leyland’s collection outgrew his current dining room. In order to design a new display place for his collection, Leyland commission the architect Thomas Jeckyll to update his space. Considering the importance of Whistler’s painting in the overall aesthetic of the room, Jeckyll decided to ask the artist to work alongside him. In particular, Jeckyll was hoping Whistler could provide guidance on what color scheme would best suit the painting that Leyland saw as the focal point of the room. However, in the middle of the project Leyland left London for a trip, and shortly after, Jeckyll fell ill. With Leyland abroad and Jeckyll unable to work, Whistler gained total control of the design of the room. Going beyond his duties of assigning colors, he began to develop intricate details for the room, including designing the golden bird patterns which would later give the room its infamous name. Returning from his ventures, Leyland arrived to his home and instead of a classy new dining room found a goody, overdone art project, with a price tag far higher than he initially proposed. When Leyland refused to pay Whistler the full commission for the extra work he had completed by his own will, the angry artist just kept adding even more gold-gilded birds to the wall of the dining room. In a flash of rage, Whistler painted two shimmering, gold peacocks, mid-battle, on the wall directly opposing The Princess from the Land of Porcelain. This duel of featherful fates was a metaphor for the tension between Leyland and Whistler. The artist titled this portion of the room Art and Money; or the Story of the Room. Or as I like to call it, “You are tearing me apart Leyland.”

In 1904, Charles Lang Freer, a Whistler collector who had already purchased The Princess from the Land of Porcelain, purchased the rest of the Peacock Room. He had the room dismantled, packed, shipped across the sea, delivered to his home in Detroit, and reassembled, reuniting the princess and her peacocks. Over time, Freer filled the room with his own personal collection of ceramics from Japan, Korea, China, Iran, and Syria, a collection which would later become the permanent collection of the Smithsonian’s Freer Gallery museum. When the Freer Gallery of Art was first opened in 1923, the Peacock Room was installed as a permanent exhibit, serving both as an art piece and as a place to display artifacts. The Freer has been its home ever since. But in 2014, the Peacock Room, for the first time, was forced to face its own reflection.

[Transition Music]

You walk into a room of red light and melted gold. You feel a shiver run down your spine. It appears as if the darkness itself has weight. An eerie familiarity lurks between the rows and rows of broken vases, each painted a unique shade and pattern. They crack and crumble, many of them barely remaining on the shelves. Some of them have already reached the floor, leaving traces of their former form in a smashed trail behind them. The emotion invoked here begs you to ask, “Where have I seen this before?” From behind the walls and under the floors, the sounds of womens’ voices and strange, distant music echo. They whisper, “I am a thing of beauty.” Or is it the mysterious painting of the faceless woman, the one in the kimono, is she whispering? A red light blares behind closed shutters on the wall, like blood emerging from a fresh wound. Above you, two huge birds vie in a life or death battle, their golden wings outstretched. They seem to tear at each other's guts, both beautiful and tragic with their intricate and shining feathers. With your eyes, you trace the melted gold which runs down from this image and across the hardwood, reflecting the red rays in the false windows. This piece is not just a feast for the eyes. Rather, it is an experience for the whole body. This is Filthy Lucre, a twisted, modern update of The Peacock Room.

Filthy Lucre is the modern piece which serves as an in-depth commentary of the role of wealth, art, and power in both modern and historical contexts, using the original Peacock Room and it’s story as a guide. Filthy Lucre is Darren Waterston’s dynamic response to the Peacock Room. In Waterson’s vision of the infamous piece, he uses artistic metaphors to demonstrate how the tensions developed by the creation of the intricate room represent the social tensions of modern America. For example, the melting gold which runs through the desk, onto the floor and even outside the room, represents the “Gilded Age,” in simple terms a time when things seem to be going quite well, but underneath it all they are corrupt. An age “gilded in gold”. Not only does Waterson intend to reference the Gilded Age of the nineteenth century, but he also intends to evoke conversations about the modern Gilded Age in which we live now and use the historical time period as a metaphor. 

Filthy Lucre serves as both metaphor and commentary, connecting images from the past to issues of the present. In 1876, Whistler saw Leyland as a crook for hoarding his excessive amounts of money and refusing to pay for the painter’s services. This act was a microcosm to the state of the world economy during this era. As more nations were industrializing in the nineteenth century, it seemed the rich grew richer and the poor grew poorer. Waterson effectively paralleled the image of the Gilded Age to today through the visual cues his piece. When you see gold running down the wall and onto the floor, you may pause to think of the exuberant spendings of the wealthy in our society. These lavish purchases, much like gold melting along the floor, hide the dark modern issues surrounding how money is acquired. Beyond the visual cues in the room, sounds make a strong stance for Waterson’s themes. The voices and music in this room come from three women who call themselves BETTY. Generating a score for the room, they use ambient electric string instruments and they repeat the mantra “I am a thing of beauty,” which they speak eerily and haphazardly. This draws in the visitor, both with fear and curiosity. In the context of the room, the sounds continue to convey a theme of the destruction and distortion caused by wealth. Just as the melting gold and broken vases conjure images of wealthy negligence, the whispers of women convey vanity, a trait often associated with the rash decisions of the wealthy. 

In a modern world plagued by hunger, homelessness, and poverty, the rich still grow richer and the poor still grow poorer. In this way, Waterson compares the state of the world which inspired Whistler’s artistic vision to the state of our modern world. The artist presents a dominant theme of negativity towards those who choose to hoard excessive wealth, even at great cost to the poor. This theme directly connects to the title of the piece “Filthy Lucre,” which is a term literally meaning “money, especially when gained in a dishonorable way.”  

Interestingly enough, the title and meaning of Filthy Lucre itself directly relates to a very current issue in the museum industry: the issue of  museums taking money from philanthropists who earned their fortunes in an unsavory way. Arthur M. Sackler, for whom the Sackler Gallery at the Smithsonian is named for, is a member of the Sackler family. It has recently come to light in the museum community that the Sackler family’s Pharmaceutical business was heavily involved in the sale and spread of an addictive pain killing drug in the United States, which has lead to the death of many Americans. For this reason, protestors have asked many institutions including the Met, the Louvre, and the Smithsonian to erase the Sackler name. The Louvre was the first to fully remove the name, but the Smithsonian has asserted they will not be removing the name for the foreseeable future. If you are curious for more details, please review this week’s further readings that I believe show a broad scope of details surrounding the issue and address it in a much more thorough manner than I am possibly capable of.

[transition music]

Unfortunately, you can no longer see Filthy Lucre, which was on display at the Smithsonian Freer|Sackler Gallery as part of an exhibition called “Peacock Room:REmix” from 2014 to 2017. Currently, there is no set date for another exhibition of Filthy Lucre, but photos of the piece are available on the artist’s website darrenwaterston.com. You can, however, view the Peacock Room daily from 10am - 5:30pm at the Freer|Sackler Gallery, 1050 Independence Ave SW, Washington, DC. The current display featured in The Peacock Room is called “The Peacock Room in Blue and White” and it is a collection of Chinese ceramics, representative of how the room looked in the 1870s when Leyland was the owner. The Peacock Room shutters are open every third Thursday from noon to 5pm. Viewing the room with the shutters open provides a whole new perspective, allowing visitors to see the way the natural sunlight accents the colors of the space. In extreme weather, the shutters are not opened.

Now, the museum tip of the week. Missing the sticker activity books of your childhood? Love museums? Check out Stickertopia: The Museum by Quintet Publishing Company. The book is avaliable for $7.89 at Barnes and Noble, and you can check for local availability on their website. Stickertopia and Barnes and Noble are not sponsors or anything, I just am an adult who loves sticker books and appreciates cool design and I wanted to share something that makes me happy with all of you.

Want to learn more? Show notes including sources, further reading, links to cool stuff and podcast transcripts for each episode are available through our tumblr, alternativeartifactspodcast.tumblr.com. Alternative Artifacts is hosted through Anchor.fm, a free hosting service for podcasts of all kinds. You can subscribe to us on Anchor.fm directly or through Spotify Podcasts.  Interested in sponsoring an episode? Have an awesome idea for an episode? Want to be a guest star? Email us at alternativeartifactspodcast@gmail.com. Special thanks to Dr. Suse Anderson, whose class on Museum Ethics and Values in part inspired the form this episode took. Theme music was created by NordGroove and downloaded via Fugue. Additional Music by Dural and downloaded via Fugue. Remember, as Tommy Wiseau said, “if a lot of people love each other, the world would be a better place to live.”

[dungeonecologist]

WILD ARMS 2 - Golgotha Prison

The name is not subtle, but the reference itself is actually oddly superficial.  At the end of the dungeon, Ashley is separated briefly from the party and Lilka and Brad are captured and tied to crosses, evoking the characters Dismus and Gestas, the thieves crucified during the same execution as the biblical christ.  There is little reference to that actual narrative however, instead seeming to draw from the fact that the name Golgotha is taken to be an epithet to mean literally “A Place of Skulls,” which seems rather appropriate and obvious for an execution field.

Bookending the start and end of this dungeon, we fight the boss monster, Trask.  First in a scripted “loss” and then in a solo match with Ashley’s new dark henshin hero form, the “Grotesque Black Knight,” Knightblazer.

“Trask” is yet another transliteration* issue that comes from the juggling between languages.  It actually comes from the Tarrasque, another monster most readily identified from its appearance in the original Dungeons & Dragons Monster Manual, itself originally taken from semi-obscure French myth of Saint Martha of Bethany and the Tarasque of Tarascon.

*(I realize I use this word a lot and it might not be as common use to others.  A “translation” lifts meaning between languages; a “transliteration” is to lift written characters between them.  Example: “Left” in English translates to 左[the direction] or 残[what remains] but transliterates to レフト.  Inversely 左 and 残 both translate back to English as “Left” but transliterate as “hidari” and “zan” respectively; and レフト transliterates back into English as “refuto.”)

Surprisingly, the Wild Arms 2 design (which would also go on to persist as the core design throughout the rest of the Wild Arms series) is based more on the original myth than the D&D representations tend to be: While the end product looks nothing like the depictions of the Tarasque of myth, it retains the spiked turtle shell, the prominent dual horns, poisonous quality, and fins on its head here account for being “half fish.”

Also of note is that the title card identifies it as a “Dragonoid” and it has various metallic and machine-like features.  These details are neat because it positions it as being not-quite a dragon, to work around a fact that will pop up much later: That dragons in Filgaia are extinct.  And also to play into the fact that Dragons in Wild Arms are semi-mechanical lifeforms.

In any case, our scripted loss to Trask the first time around ends with the team knocked out and imprisoned in what appears to be a disused execution ground and associated holding cells.  In our escape we run into monsters fitting the theme, who appear to be natural inhabitants, rather than guards put in place by the Odessa terrorist soldiers who are actually holding us here.

First up is the Wight, a classic undead warrior monster generally taken from D&D, but with a little more behind it than you might expect.  The term Wight in English lore actually traces back quite far as an archaic term with little to no real association with monsters.  The real intersection with name and subject comes from an early English translation of the Nordic Grettis Saga; In it the zombie-like creatures now better known as Draugr were referred to as apturgangr (lit.”againwalker”) but were translated as Barrow-wight. (lit.”[burial-]mound person”)

This may seem an odd choice, but the translation came at the hands of the eminent bookman William Morris.  I say “bookman” because he was not just a prolific author of prose and poetry, but a pioneer of the revival of the British textile and printing industry.  He and his wife, Jane Burden, did extensive arts, craft and design work in book and print design, book binding, and wall paper all stemming from the intricate design of modular and tiled printing blocks and stamps.  Oh and he translated various works of epic poetry and myth into English, including old Roman epics, French knightly romances, and of course Norse sagas. (all of which he wrote and published what was basically fanfiction of, btw)

His seemingly erroneous “translation” of the Barrow-wight came as an attempt to reflect a comparable agedness to the name: Rather than translating from old Norse into modern English, he chose what he thought a suitable old English equivalent; “Barrow” referring to pre-christian Anglo-Saxon burial mounds, and “Wight” meaning “thing” or “creature” but often used disparagingly to refer to a person.  The nuance there is actually quite clever, as the old Wight referred pretty exclusively to those living, even if it didn’t specify by definition, and that uncertainty or contradictory kind of implication uniquely fits a description of the undead.

This term would be picked up by J.R.R. Tolkein for use in Middle-Earth, retaining their lore and function from Norse legend to describe undead warriors.  And from there you can follow the usual chain of influence to D&D, where the shortened term Wight really solidified itself as synonymous with the undead, and eventually down to Game of Thrones, where George R.R. Martin cleverly brings the whole thing back around to old risen bodies of northern warriors, not unlike the Draugr of Norse myth.

Anyway in Wild Arms 2 we get some sorta death yeti ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Next up is the Ghoul, which I think we all know is a pretty generic term in modern parlance, but it’s specific origins date back to pre-Islamic Arabia.  It entered into English via translations of the original French translation of 1001 Arabian Nights, where it appears in one story as a monster lurking about the cemetery devouring corpses.

The Ghoul identity as a corpse eater quickly broadened into flesh eaters, and the association with lurking about graves in turn marked them as undead themselves until eventually the term became loosely applied to any variety of undead, including the thrall of vampires, supplanting the flesh of the dead with blood of the living and achieving a truly far removed meaning.  Even in modern Arabic the term now broadly applies to any number of fantasy monsters. 

And so long as we’re dabbling in pop culture transplants; the Arabaian word Ghul is in fact the same used in the name of the Batman villain, R’as al-Ghul, whose name/title has always been erroneously translated as “Head of The Demon.“

I have no idea why it’s a chicken with a mohawk but i love it

And finally the Bone Drake.  I don’t know that this one actually has any real specific lineage...

“Drake” is generally a synonym for dragon, although there is some case of fantasy semantics where different settings will try to define distinct body types of dragons each with their own name, in which case Drakes are often either dragons which simply don’t exceed a certain size (generally no bigger than a non-magical animal such as a dog or a horse) or a wingless variation of whatever the setting’s prototypical dragon might be.  I don’t know for certain, but I think this distinction in modern fantasy started with Tolkien’s wingless fire breathing dragon, Glaurung, and its offspring who were referred to as fire-drakes.

In any case, the specific term “Bone Drake” Doesn’t seem to appear with any visibility prior to Wild Arms 2, which leads me to believe it was just their name for a generic bone dragon-like creature.  It does make for an interesting companion, aesthetically, to Trask being here, although there don’t seem to be any implications that Trask lives in this dungeon at all.  Other than just being an obvious combination of cool fantasy things, it may also be pulled from Dungeon & Dragons’ Dracolich/Night Dragon; an undead (often skeletal) dragon raised from the dead, often by their own necromantic spells, hence the term “Lich.”  For whatever reason they are oddly reminiscent of shield crested dinosaurs like the Triceratops or Styracosaurus.

The attack Rhodon Breath doesn’t tell me anything either.  I think it’s just meant as “Rose Breath,” translating the “Rhodon” bit pretty literally, and references the smell of roses being present as a funeral, or else the palor of the faded pink color also called “Rose Breath.”  There is some apocryphal reference to a Rhodon but of no significance that I can tell.

Clearly the theme here is death and the undead, and with some small stretch on part of the Wight, we could even say skulls all befitting Golgotha’s “Place of Skulls” epithet.  It’s a really neat way to build this dungeon, albeit a little on the nose.  But I really like the idea that the dungeon appears to be abandoned and now haunted by all these reanimated corpses and bones before the villains arrive to use it for their plans.  Oddly there isn’t much of a martyrdom theme here, although we’ll get plenty of that a little later once we recruit our second magic user, summoner, christ figure, and perfect beautiful boy, Tim Rhymless to the team...

Anyway we get out, we fight Trask for real.  Ashley turns into a saturday morning superhero.  Trask gets solo’d.  And we all just kinda move along without asking too many questions...  Although the game dialogue describes this new form as a “grotesque black knight” the sprite work, 3D model, and even original character art don’t really convey much in the way of “grotesque” but in the context of the tokusatsu, henshin hero elements it’s not too hard to imagine that the design was meant to evoke a similar aesthetic to gruesome suit heroes like Guyver, Kamen Rider Shin, and Devilman.  I do love the gill/tendon-like organic vent structure in the pauldrons that stay.  And although it’s not visible in any of these images, but the D-Arts model has an exposed segment of vertebrae between the shoulders; that along with the teeth(?)/ribs on the open chest panels really helps bring out more of the “grotesque” quality of the design.

[thetygre]

 30 Day Monster Challenge 2 - Day #4: Favorite Mummy

1.) Imhotep (Arnold Vosloo)

There’s something to be said for loss of Boris Karloff’s tragedy and nuance with the 1999 Imhotep, but you know what else Boris Karloff’s mummy didn’t have? Style, baby. And reboot Imhotep had style for days. Summon the plagues of the Old Testament, raise more mummies from the dead, shape the very elements to his will; Imhotep was a force. Could that same character have been done with more subtlety and a deeper backstory? Yes, of course. But the real question is; would it have been as fun?

Also, let’s talk about character design here. Mummies don’t really offer a broad range of options in terms of character design. No matter how much jewelry or old robes you put on them, they’re always going to be covered in bandages. But the reboot, like Karloff, got around that by offering different designs and costumes for different states of regeneration. Starting with a desiccated corpse and evolving to a full-blown high priest, with each stage having its own personality. My personal favorite is probably the second form, with the mask. Masked undead are always a little bit extra creepy. The ability to fit that much creativity into the character design ties to the spectacle of Imhotep as a villain, and that, more than anything, is the character’s strength.

2.) Imhotep (Boris Karloff)

Karloff’s mummy is the mature one, the sympathetic one. If the mummy as a monster can be said to have tragedy or deeper meaning, than Karloff embodies that in his character. His Imhotep is a man lost in time, desperate to reconnect to the world he is lost. But at the same time, he is very much a monster; he is a punishment for disturbing the past. Mummies are ultimately rooted in Gothic horror, and, similar to ghosts, remind us of the horror of history and the sins of our ancestors. In addition, mummies, like Frankenstein’s monster, are born from man attempting to meddle with things that humanity simply is not meant to know, whether that’s knowledge or literally just going into somewhere with a big ‘keep out’ sign. Karloff’s mummy conveys both aspects of the mummy creature as an archetype. It’s just, y’know, he doesn’t breathe locusts or summon sandstorms.

3.) Tomb Kings (Warhammer)

This might be kind of cheating since the Tomb Kings are as much skeletons as they are mummies, but they’re all generally ancient Egyptian themed. While they lack that certain punch that their 40k equivalent the Necrons have, the Tomb Kings make up for it in aesthetic. Even the most basic soldiers are dressed up in bronze and gold. On top of that, Tomb Kings aren’t just human mummies either; horses, scorpions, and even sphinxes are all part of the Tomb Kings’ forces. The Tomb Kings are a demonstration of just what can be done with the idea of mummies when you put your imagination into it.

4.) The Arisen (Mummy: The Curse)

The late child of the New World of Darkness, the Arisen are the preserved mages of an ancient magical empire that existed in Earth’s prehistory. The Arisen are a blend of Karloff and Vosloo, mixing spectacular magical powers with the somber reality of the passing of time. Each Arisen can rise from their slumber for only brief periods of time, and each time they lose a little more of their memories. They are some of the most powerful, indestructible entities in the World of Darkness, but they have to operate on a time limit. It’s the idea of how unfathomably ancient the Arisen are that gets me; predating humanity, watching all civilization rise and fall. It takes the idea of mummies as guardians to an entirely new level.

5. ) The God of the Valley (Discworld)

It’s kind of hard to talk about this one for spoilery reasons. Pyramids has mummies galore in it, but there are a few that stand out. But this one makes us think about how mummies can reflect aspects of even modern culture. He makes us question things like duty, responsibility, and tradition. The borderline between ritual, respect, and insanity isn’t always as clear as we would like it to be, and it’s even more complicated when that ambiguity is simultaneously toxic and necessary. Also, for aforementioned spoilery reasons and just a general lack of fan art for the Pyramids Discworld novel, no pic unfortunately.

6.) The Boneguard (Tailchaser’s Song)

Cat mummies! Tailchaser’s Song is a cat-focused fantasy, complete with an evil cat Sauron figure. Said evil cat overlord has a variety of minions, and his most disturbing are a group of apparently undead cats with psychic powers. While described more skeletal than desiccated, they’re given Egyptian names like ‘Bast-Imret’ which gives a pretty obvious nod to their inspiration. It’s well known the ancient Egyptians mummified cats as sacred animals, and I’m glad I was able to see something interesting and kind of creepy actually done with the idea.

7.) Saint Hakushin (Inuyasha)

Our first non-Egyptian mummy is a monster-of-the-week that I only even know about by chance from a random episode of Inuyasha. Hakushin is a sokushinbutsu, the mummified remains of a Buddhist priest who entered a state of mummification while still alive and then died from asceticism. Hundreds of monks have tried this process, but only a few have ever actually succeeded. Hakushin demonstrates that the idea of the mummy is not exclusive to Egypt, both as a death ritual and as usage for a monster. Mummies are universally uncanny in whatever culture they appear in, while at the same time evoking reverence and fascination.

8.) The Dead Ones (The Halloween Tree)

These mummies come to us from the catacombs of Mexico. The environment of the city of Guanajuato lends itself to a natural process similar to embalmment, preserving bodies in pristine condition. They are easily the most horrifying mummies I have ever seen, with their faces contorted by postmortem shifting. Ray Bradbury saw them once, and they terrified him out of Mexico. At the end of Ray Bradbury’s The Halloween Tree, our cast of characters is confronted with the catacombs and have to race through the mummies to save their friend. The book’s first adventure is actually in ancient Egypt in the tomb of a pharaoh, so this serves as a potent contrast. Egyptian mummies are created intentionally, made out of reverence and respect. But the mummies of Guanajuato were made by accident, unearthed when their families could not or would not pay the burial tax on their graves. They are a harsh reminder on the reality of death, a confrontation with what becomes of us after we are put in the earth, and something that is inevitable for everyone.

9.) The Fallen One (SyFy Channel Movie)

Giant mummy of a nephilim! First off, again, I love the idea of monster mummies made from something other than humans. Giants have an extra layer because it makes you imagine how bizarre the actual process of mummification must have been. This thing’s brain must have weighed at least twelve pounds and been the size of a pumpkin, but it was still pulled out through its nose by a hook. There’s also the ties to conspiracy theory lore here. The nephilhim, giants, and their remains have a significant theory in conspiracy lore, whether they’re the products of fallen angels, aliens, or both. And there’s only one thing to do with an idea that crazy; make a horror monster out of it! I don’t give a toss about the movie. It was so crappy I couldn’t even find a screenshot for it. You’ll have to settle for this giant mummy from Gatchaman instead.

10.) Mummy Gundam (G Gundam)

It counts. G Gundam was a trip, y’all. This is literally an old Pharaoh Gundam (there were multiple) that was destroyed in combat, mummified, and then resurrected by the Devil Gundam, giving it magic powers like bandage control and regeneration. Its pilot was mummified too, so there was just a straight-up mummy in bandages doing martial arts in the cockpit. See what I mean about this show being wild? I just love the image of a giant mech rising out of a sandstorm, like a piece of the landscape itself, combined with a mummy coming back for revenge. The gundam was never even alive and it still came back from the dead like some angry, vengeful god. That’s just straight up stupid fun.