#literally just thought of this 2 seconds ago so i don't know how I'd do it yet but hmm

[nevermeanttoknow]

mind pov fic about heart in the style of a research paper is this anything

[serejae]

WE CANT BE FRIENDS | 16. BUT ID LIKE TO JUST PRETEND

(written)

prev | next

warning: im gonna pretend we're in korea for this chapter so jaehyun can drink LOLSIES, i also know barely anything about drinking so if its not accurate OOPS #20y/owhocantdrinkstrugglesbcshesscaredofthelaw

mstl

taglist @lilriswife4life @cherrytaesan @tubatu-lovie @woonsbot @guiltysungho @taylorluvation @kage-yaa @lionhanie @dearly-somber @nicholasluvbot @nujeskz @unhakki @lblossom21 @crispy-kirby @seunghancore @nctrawberries @i03jae @icewons @miidorei @hanbinniesmango @helpsplease @dongminz

ps: it doesnt get better from here until wayyy after ;-)

(a few minutes ago) EPISODE 5

"what are we even supposed to do?" jaehyun said as he took another shot. "i uh have to ask you questions" woonhak explained as he repositioned the camera up to face jaehyun. jaehyun hummed as he took another shot "are you okay? you took like 10 shots since we got here and i haven't even started recording yet" woonhak looked up from the camera concerned. "pfft what do you know about drinking" jaehyun laughed looking at woonhak, woonhak scoffed "not much, but i know this relates back to yn". the older one looked away "just record or something i don't know..."

"now we have myung jaehyun. i'll ask you questions and you can answer away from yn. i assure you she won't see this footage...well unless she watches this but that's beside the point." woonhak adjusted the camera a bit. "so i CAN answer the question? i have a choice?" jaehyun asked rather tipsy. "no sorry, you WILL answer these."

"what are your opinions on L/N Y/N?"

jaehyun took another shot before answering. "Yn? she's...I MISS HER" he suddenly erupted into tears taking back woonhak but content is content...

"i cant live without her i dont know how i haven't died yet during these 2 years. shes all i constantly think about, when i go to the store, i think about her, when i sleep, i think about her, when I'm even in my fucking office i think about her and that was the main thing that drove me away from her." he sobbed into his hands. woonhak giggled a bit at the sight and zoomed into jaehyun crying. "I'm gonna have to put a 'her' count in here..."

"I thought you ended things because of music, your job?"

"FUCK THE JOB! i'm done, i'll take it all back and work at fucking wendys if it means i can stay with her. my music career is a flop! YOU know" jaehyun pointed at woonhak to which he nods "THEY know" he pointed at the camera "SHE knows" he points at his heart "I just cant take not being around her anymore. we don't have to be friends we don't have to date again I just want her back in my life completely without messing everything up. i'd literally argue with her for the rest of my life even if it hurts me rather than never talk to her at all and it hurts because she makes it look so simple, not missing me, not talking to me. but it's fair enough isn't it? if i had just shut my mouth for that one day i would've realized that music doesn't compare to her, but why'd i have to realize so late?"

"do you still think about her?"

"of course i do" he cried even more, woonhak was pretty sure jaehyuns drink was more tears than alcohol now "you know..." jaehyun giggled for a second 'the roman empire? how its like a joke that all guys think of it often, she, y/n are you watching this?" jaehyun gets close to the camera, his nose touching the lens, too drunk to realize anything. "yn, you're my roman empire, there's not a second i don't think about you. i wake up , its you, i go to sleep, its you, i eat, its you, hell i could strip right now and dance-“ “that's enough" woonhak stops him. "i just wonder why you think so deeply about her, shes just a girl-" jaehyun cuts woonhaks words offended "DONT. shes not just some random girl, shes yn. the first person who understood me, the first person i felt comfortable with, the first person to support my music career, and i just, let her go. for the same music career i left her for. clearly, you've never been in love or never been in love and lost that same person due to your dumb actions..."

"then why were you acting so cold to her today?"

"fuck, woonhak. its all a persona, i'm trying to convince myself I'm over her, but clearly, it's not working, at all. even today i used all the force in me not to fold and when i complained about it on my twitter this random sea jae something account commented...but i remember she did comment under my comment saying "its not like me and her will get together" with a "haha" like what does that mean...is it a sign from the universe?" jaehyun looked over at woonhak with a sad smile trying to convince himself he's not that effected by you despite going on a 30 minute rant about you. woonhak laughed a bit. jaehyun looked down at his shot glass and stared.

"do you think she misses me...like ever?" he turned again to woonhak who stared at jaehyun in pity. "she-" woonhak paused and shook his head "directors shouldn't get involved" jaehyuns body shot over to face woonhak "YOUR NOT A DIRECTOR YOUR A 17 YEAR OLD BOY" "18 in Korea" woonhak added "I DONT CARE, YOUR A 17 OR 18 BOY WHO IS FAILING HIS FILM MAKING CLASS WITH A NEGATIVE NUMBER. WHAT DOES SHE SAY ABOUT ME."

"fine, i'll show you." woonhak logs into his phone and text you to help him out. "oops, phone died" jaehyun groaned and face planted into the table.

(NOW)

you texted woonhak that you were outside and you saw him drag jaehyun out. "damn he's out." taesan said from your backseat. you hum in agreement. woonhak approaches the car and opens the back seat to throw jaehyun in until taesan stops him "put jaehyun in the passenger seat" "but you're back here-"

"woonhak. put. jaehyun. in. the. damn. front. seat."

woonhak placed jaehyun in the front seat and got in the back.

jaehyun turned his head to you as you were driving

"yn?" he asked softly "yeah?" "do you ever miss me?"

you dont reply, looking in your rear view mirror you see woonhak and taesan sleeping. sighing you turn back to jaehyun when you stop at a red light, he looked at you with soft doe eyes that could break any minute. but you couldn't help but admire his features shining in the red light, you hadn't got a good look at him until now and damn, he was still so...

BEEP

right. "back then yeah" you lied, or maybe not, who cares

"i still miss you, a lot. Every day i wake up and my heart aches for you, only to see an empty cold space in the spot next to me. i know, i know everyone tells me and i got the signal from you, i know I'm stupid for ending a relationship over music, SoundCloud especially but i don't want to move on. if i put on earth with one other girl and her only i wouldn't even speak to her, i'd make a stick doll and name it after you, talk to it every day, because yn, you're the only person I've ever needed and i hate that i lost the one person who kept me going, that i still dream of, that i can't move on from, i just wish i didn't let you go at all.

do you...still think we'd be together if i hadn't ruined us?"

you pause staring at the gearstick "maybe in another life" you replied lowly afraid your voice would crack. you blink back tears refusing to even look at him. you hear him catch his breath and realize he's crying "i just wish it could be this life. i want it to be this life, yn, I'll do anything for it to be this life please. let me back in your life."

"jaehyun no, you're drunk"

"drunk words are sober thoughts"

taesan said from the backseat still with his eyes closed. you realize both woonhak and taesan have been faking sleeping the entire time.

"get out" you said. taesan opened his eyes and realized yall were in front of his and jaehyuns house. OH RIGHT, thanks yn" you hum as you watch taesan help jaehyun out. "take care" you said to both of them, before jaehyun gets through the door he turns back at you and smiles softly

"ugh i shouldve recorded that"

oh.

you forgot he was there.

[dittobtch]

I'd like to hear about leatin

ah yes my favourite topic:

leah, just a lonely girl living in a lonely world. a girl who falls in love with an older disgusting man only to get her heart broken later on.

then there's fatin: bold, gifted, and tired. so fucking tired of being held back by her busy schedule that she doesn't even want.

both of them fear love for different reasons. fatin thinks she's incapable of it and even if she was, all it brings is pain and heartbreak and she's had enough of that. besides, she doesn't have the time for anything like that: not romantic love nor platonic. familial love for fatin is... well... complicated...

leah on the other hand is familiar with the sting an intense, burning love leaves behind. she's suddenly left alone and has to deal with the consequences on her own. despite everything, all she wants is that toxic love back. to her, it's the only thing that can cure the emptiness she feels.

even on the island all she can think about is jeff. she gets into a literal fight with fatin over him (and fatin's "laziness" and lack of cooperation, but anyways).

then shit gets real. specifically, fatin goes missing. (cue the beginning of a beautiful, complex, sometimes toxic relationship).

only after Leah's confronted with the thought that holy shit someone could die - Fatin could die, does she finally burn his fuck ass book and metaphorically let him go (for now, anyways).

things are good for a bit, then they're bad. the ups and downs of the island. sometimes they get along, like when they think they're going to get rescued. other times they still have trouble getting along and that's okay too; they're learning and they're there for each other and that's all that matters.

well, they're there for each other until they're not. leah's mental health goes into a decline as season 2 begins. fatin tries to hold it together for the both of them, but she can't help but (homoerotically) argue with leah (for the second time) to defend her grieving friend.

eventually they make up because of course they do. afterall, fatin "was starting to like her" and knew that she could never really stop caring about leah.

in fact, the opposite starts happening. she cares about leah so much that she begins to look for the truth for leah. she devotes herself to the very thing that nearly drove leah insane. because she believes leah, for real this time.

and it's good but it's makes her feel so guilty because holy shit leah was right and fatin let her believe that she was insane. she unknowingly helped in gaslighting leah, but she can't give up now. she has to prove that leah was right; it's the only thing that can make up for it.

so, fatin attempts to pick up what leah left behind. fatin, who less than two months ago was unwillingly to help in building a simple shelter, puts in so much of her time and energy in figuring out the truth for leah. she'll let herself go insane the way leah did, do all the ethically questionable things, as long as leah doesn't have to do it anymore.

because fatin loves her:

and even though leah doesn't know fatin does all of this for her, leah loves her back:

(i could not for the life of me find a "the voices you love" gif, sorry)

ultimately, i love leatin because it's a story of these two complex teenagers who heal and break together. neither of them are fond of the idea of love when they meet, especially not with each other but together, they form a unique bond. their love doesn't fix each other but instead, they do things out of love for one another that helps them both.

they relearn how to love together. it's not perfect, but it works for them.

in the words of basically everyone left in this fandom: THEY COULD HAVE BEEN EVERYTHING but also they kind of already were everything and i don't think i'll ever get over it.

anyways if you liked this you should read my new fic too lmao

[kingdionra]

hi I've been trying to beg on the fediverse for a while but it's not going very well so I thought I would try here as well >.<

putting the teal deer up front, long explanation & images-for-proof under the cut: two traumatised and disabled queers have successfully run away from abuse but now have no furniture or other household essentials, looking for another €4000* or so to get everything we need + get out of our overdraft

GOAL: €1865/4000

throne link

£ paypal: diontheblackdragon@gmail.com

cashapp: £KingDionRa

DM for roommate's € paypal or my UK bank deets to do a straight transfer <3

also if you want you can get an album for your moneys, i have it up for free download on both my site and on bandcamp :3

*this is higher than the original goal I set on fediverse because I'm including the ebike and winter clothes and getting out of our overdraft (which is costing us a bit in fees every month)...but also this still isn't including new computers which we both need lol but this already feels like so much to ask for!

LONG ASS STORY:

okay so over a year ago i ran away from the uk in its entirety to stay with my internet best friend of over a decade in germany, because i'd been in and out of homelessness there for most of my adult life and just kept ending up with abusers (because that's what happens when you jump at the first chance you get to get out of a homeless shelter by moving in with people you don't know), and then running away from them because they tend to get worse and worse and eventually you'd rather be homeless again than live with someone who continually messes you up and ignores your boundaries and lies to you and bullies you and fucks with your health. and yeah after long enough of that i had zero faith in the system to help me or in local queer groups to do so either, because they're the ones who kept finding me white middle class assholes to live with who turned out to be classist ableist racist shitfaces who talked the talk but failed to walk the walk

anyway, this was not an ideal situation because my best friend was living in a very tiny (25 square meters TOTAL) apartment surrounded by asshole neighbours after also only recently escaping homelessness, but we both found our mental health was VASTLY improved by living together (see it turns out we're NOT the problem!! it was the abusers all along!!!!) despite the very cramped living space (we literally couldn't both stand in the kitchen at the same time and it only had a minifridge and a stovetop) and having to share a room despite NOT being a couple and having no privacy

but eventually that situation got worse and worse due to a literal nazi living next door who engraved swastikas in our mailbox and threatened physical violence on us (pretty sure he thought we were a queer interracial couple and was very mad about that), and things came to a head when he repeatedly called the cops on us for being too noisy at night (we LAUGHED TOO LOUD at gone 10pm omg how dare we) and kept trying to get us in shit with the landlord by making up lies about us

SO, we asked the internet (fediverse) for money to move, and managed to get enough to hightail it the fuck out of there (we actually left the country because neither of us like germany it's, surprise surprise, full of nazis) to a very cheap place in very rural finland where we can each have our own room and that we can actually afford the rent on ourselves but, being poor and desperate, we only asked for literally the bare minimum to move, and left asap, and got here with no furniture, no beds, no household necessities, no nothing.

we've been here 2 months now and have managed to acquire one (1) bed that we're having to share (again we are NOT a couple and the lack of privacy is driving us both up the wall) but we still need:

-a second bed so i can actually USE my own room that i finally have again

-bedding (inc. warm things before winter sets in! and additional covers so we can actually put things in the wash)

-winter clothes before it gets too cold

-a washing machine

-desks and chairs so we can actually sit somewhere and work

-a cargo ebike so we can get to the nearest town (7km) and buy food, rather than relying entirely on non-perishables that we can order over the internet (it's been 2 months since we've had any fresh food and that sucks)

-a new phone for roommate cause theirs broke

-a laptop or desktop for roommate cause they have nothing atm

-a new desktop for me because i only have access to an old shitty kind of broken laptop at the minute (one of the hinges is fucked and i can't close or open it without worrying it will break for good and it doesn't charge right half the time and usually takes multiple attempts to boot up and i'm scared every time that this time will be the time that it just Won't), because when i tried to fundraise for a new one like a year ago i was offered this and didn't think i could say no, but i am very worried it will break any day now, and it is Not Good for recording music on or making art or games (you kind of need to run the games to make them....)

current overdraft:

our very empty living room:

my very empty bedroom:

please help us actually get sorted out and set up in our new place, so that we can actually RELAX for the first time in our lives (i'm 35 and my best friend is 38 >.<)

we both really want to actually do good work and help the world, and i have so much creative shit that i want to get on with but that has just been like, put on hold constantly, for *years*. i have so many stories and games and songs and so much art and a whole-ass comic i want to make and just haven't been able to do ANY of it for so long! (i'm keeping track of all my creative ideas in a huge google spreadsheet that links out to google docs full of properly fleshed out plans for things though, so that i can get to work asap!)

we just need a little bit more help to get started and then we will be giving back SO MUCH, i promise! all my content is and will forever be free! so you can consider this an investment in future works that you will definitely all get access to! <3

thank you so much for reading this far, and for sharing and boosting and donating if you can, you're incredible and awesome and very much appreciated <3

[acourtofmarvels]

Comfort - Cassian Pt.2

Part 1

Warnings: none. cuteness overload :D

*35 years later*

"Cassian can you please take your feet off the table? We eat there." I smacked his leg and took a seat beside him to eat lunch.

He groaned and obeyed, putting his feet on the ground. "Gimme a bite." He pointed to the sandwich I had just made. I haven't even taken a bite of it yet.

"You just ate like, 3 minutes ago." I took a bite of my sandwich, glaring at him. I swear he is always hungry.

"Yours looks better than mine," he whined like a child.

I looked over at Azriel who was sitting across from us. He'd already finished his lunch and was reading a book at the table.

"Azriel did you not give the dog a treat after lunch?" Azriel lifted his eyes from his book, humor in them.

"That was rude," Cassian replied.

"Let the girl eat her lunch in peace," Azriel defended me, going back to his book.

I stuck my tongue out at Cassian and then took another bite of my sandwich. He was glaring at me but I could see the mischief behind his glare. I'm in trouble.

"Ask the house to-" I stopped my sentence. The air grew cold and eerie. Still, everything went so very still.

Azriel and Cassian felt it too, sitting up straight in their chairs. Something was different. We could all feel it.

There was a thud from the balcony. As if something jumped onto it, or someone landed on it.

Azriel and Cassian stood up simultaneously, grabbing their weapons. Their siphons glowing as they listened around.

Who the hell just landed at the House of Wind? No one can get up here unless they have wings. The Illyrians wouldn't dare to step foot up here. It can't be Mor, she's suppose to be in the Hewn City all day.

Azriel's shadows swirled around him, informing him of whatever just entered our house. My heart plummeted as I saw the color drain from Azriel's face.

"What's wrong? Who's here?" I shot to my feet. I was almost tempted to grab one of the daggers at Cassian's hip. If Azriel was scared then-

"I was expecting some open arms, not swords and daggers."

I don't think I ever turned around so quickly in my life.

Rhysand. Rhys. My brother. He's home. He's here, he's alive.

My knees buckled and I would have fallen to the ground if Cassian had not caught me.

My hand covered my mouth, silencing the sob that escaped me, tears poured out my eyes.

I beat Cassian and Azriel to him first, wrapping my arms around his neck so tightly. I held on for life, afraid this was a dream and the second I let go he would be gone. But I could feel him, smell him. He's here, home.

His arms stay wrapped around me as I placed my hands on his face, looking him over.

"Are you hurt?" I didn't dare ask if he was okay. How could he ever be okay from what ever torture she put him through?

"I'm alright," he replied. No signs of injury or bruises. But he was so very pale. Years away from sunlight would do that to you.

"I can't believe you are here." I wiped the tears from his cheeks, he did the same to me.

I wrapped my arms around him once more, kissing the top of his head a few times.

I didn't want to let him go but I know Azriel and Cassian would want their time with him.

The second I stepped from his embrace Cassian replaced me, literally picking Rhys off the floor and spinning him around.

"If you do not put me down I cannot promise that I will not puke on you," Rhys's laugh sent warmth through my body. I never thought I'd hear that again.

It didn't feel real. The days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months and the fact that Rhys was here still felt like a dream.

Amarantha was dead. Feyre saved us all, Rhys's mate. Rhys's mate... He has a mate. Who's marrying someone else. He showed us her. Showed us all she did. His face lit up telling us the story about her killing the wyrm.

It's been 3 months and I am savoring every last bit of it.

***

"You're different, sister." Rhys stared at me from across the room. He sat at his desk as I lounged in the chair in his bedroom. We did this often. This was where we always had our deep talks or hashed things out if we were upset. He would do work at his desk and I would occupy my time in the chair by reading or writing. 

"I'm happy. You're finally home." I looked up from the hat I was knitting, another thing I picked up in the 50 years he was gone. 

The smile faded off his face as he looked down at his hands. "Mor told me..."

"Whatever she told you, is in the past. Everything is good, now you're home. I'm good, I promise." Though I looked away from him I could feel the guilt in him from across the room. "Enough with the sadness, please."

"Fine, you don't want to talk about it. I'll respect that. Is there anything you do want to talk about?" His voice was hinting. There's no way he knows. We haven't.... well not since he got back. That was my decision. 

"Like what?" I didn't dare look up at him.

"Hey, you guys down for Rita's tonight?" Gods his timing was the worse. Of course Cassian had to come in and interrupt now.

Rhys and I made eye contact. He had a stupid smirk on his face. He knew... How did he know?

"Cass, please join us. We were actually just about to have a chat." Rhys pointed to his bed for Cassian to take a seat. 

Cassian went to take a seat, completely oblivious to the situation. "No, leave." He froze in his spot, looking at Rhys and me confused.

"Cassian, take a seat. As your High Lord, I order you." I could smack that stupid smug smile off his face.

"You can't do that." I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest. Pulling this High Lord card... I should smack him up side the head.

"Can and just did, sit."

Cassian took and seat and glanced between at Rhysand and I, who were having a stare off. 

"Cassian..." Rhys began, now looking at him. Cassian was trying to play it cool but I noticed the sweat beginning to form on his forehead. My heart was racing a hundred miles an hour, no doubt my brother could hear it too. "Are you sleeping with my sister?"

"Oh my gods, really Rhys?" I shot up from my seat. I felt the lie on my tongue, "Cassian and I are not-"

"We're together, yes. We have been for a while now. We take care of each other, watch out for one another. You can be mad at me, beat the shit out of me but I don't give a fuck." Cassian stood back up, no longer looking at Rhys but now me. "400 years I have loved her. 35 years I have been utterly, hopelessly in love with her."

Silence all around. I was shocked he admitted that right away. I mean we were caught, it was gonna be hard to lie to him. Cassian was standing up for us and here I was gawking like a complete idiot.

"Cassian and I are mates," I admitted to my brother nervously, but proudly. "I am madly in love with him. We wish to be mated and married but only with your permission."

That smirk had faded from my brothers face the minute Cassian spoke. His face was blank of emotion and he was silent for a while.

"This is not what I was expecting." He spoke. He crossed his arms over his chest. He looked mad but he was silent again for a while. "Fine. You have my blessing. But I'm still kicking your ass for hitting on my sister." He stood up a punched Cassian in the shoulder and then came and wrapped his arms around me which automatically relaxed me.

He placed his hands on either sides of my face, forcing me to stare into his eyes. The eyes we shared from our father. 

Are you sure? He spoke to me in my mind. My shields were down for him the second he wrapped his arms around me.

I nodded and replied to only him, I've never experienced this type of happiness before.

His face softened as a single tear rolled down my face, and he wiped it away. He was always the one to wipe away my tears. He placed a kiss on my forehead and pulled away.

"Just don't show it around me," he shivered and I rolled my eyes.

"Rhys I'd like to request some time off work," Cassian said with a smirk, looking me up and down.

"I hate this already. Get out of my face." He waved us off.

Cassian held his hand out to me which I gladly took as we ran out of Rhys's room. The second we were out of earshot, to spare Rhys, Cassian's hands and lips were all over me.

"I'm never waiting that long ever again. It was pure torture not to kiss you, to hold you, to touch you," Cassian growled in my ear. 

"I know, I'm sorry." I brought his lips back to mine. "Never again."

"Are we doing this?" He whispered, out of breath.

"Meet me at the cabin in an hour." I stepped out of reach from him, a big smile on my face.

"An hour?" He groaned. 

"One hour and then... you'll have me for eternity." I stepped forward and kissed his lips once more, in a slow and achingly long kiss. "I love you. One hour." Then I winnowed away. 

A/N cute little ending :) hope you guys liked it!

Masterlist

[mytalemyworld]

YABANI / ASI & ALAZ SEASON 2 THOUGHTS

It's been months since I wrote here: a very busy real life schedule, a finger injury, not any tv show that piqued my interest caused me not to come here but escapism is very much needed right now. And Yabani is like that your old friend you know you should stay away but as long as it's there, you don't have power to run away.

I seriously didn't expect much from the show considering what we've got so far. Also I really understand the difficulty the new head writer has to live. She took over a wreck, nothing they would write could save the show. So that's why I just watch Asi and Alaz and care about only them. They still make me emotional even though their scenes last only like 5 minutes. Yeah yeah, the new plots, the new characters etc. These are just excuses, because they already have a good, exciting story potential yet the writers choose to ignore it. Once again.

For example, the new bearded guy and the evil lady. You know those old casettes which have two sides: A and B. A side is always aimed to give you the best tracks and as for B, it kind of exists only to fill the casette. To me, no matter how hard the writers try to make them look like an A side track they are just so useless and end up B side. I don't even want to know what their stories are.

The other problem, just for the rating, Asi's long lost family turned out to be a bunch of lunatics. No need to say they're the second B side track for me to skip endlessly.

I am not surprised anymore, I just want to express my frustration.

So let's take a look at our problematic couple.

The things I like:

The fact that he has never moved on.

It's kind of realistic. He's an extreme character, always going back and forth over two opposite edges, and turning any emotion into an obsession level of craziness. Be it love or hatred.

So, it's not surprising to see him like this, desperate, aimless, lost and tired.

The guy has never had a life purpose, not even in season 1. His journey is not about finding himself or his potential etc. He seeks love and wants to be loved. So the first conflict was about the lack of parental love, then Asi (he even chose her over his brother, I mean, it should give you an idea)…and now it's also about his baby.

If the story gives me a wrecked man, I would like to see a consistent behavior. Otherwise all scenes about how lost he is wouldn't matter.

To avoid this kind of problem, the confrontation between Alaz and Asi shouldn't have been his dream. It MUST have been the real one.

Because it would make sense.

Because no effing one could hold himself back after going through a never ending torment for these two years.

Because the actor killed it.

I am not good Asi. Not at all. Every day I've thought this moment. If I found you, If I saw you what would I say? There's not even a single moment that I don't regret, Asi. We could have been so happy. If we had a baby…I always thought it would be a girl. We could have named her Ece. Then we, three of us, would set off by a caravan. You'd sing and I'd play the guitar. Maybe she wouldn't have a perfect life but would be so happy. Because we would love her so much. Because we loved each other so much. And I still love you so much. Please…please, forgive me. I can't do without you. Please don't give up on me.

The fact that he realised he could be a good father because he loves the mother of his child and she loves him back, because he could give all his love to their kid and make him/her feel loved. The fact that he finally realised they have what his parents lack: a mutual love which could make the child literally a love child (he knows this makes a difference) and of course caring about the kid you make, putting his/her needs first.

And he probably came to understand why Asi wanted to keep the child: The need for having a family which he felt like he lost two years ago.

This kind of desperation is so hard to come by on tvs right now. And let me tell you, I've been watching tr dramas for almost 25 years and this is one of the most intense scenes I've ever seen. So raw and so strong.

His soul is on his knees, he wears his heart on his sleeves, he is dying to find out if he has a second chance. He looks like a candle burning and perishing slowly.

However God knows for what reason they chose to keep this scene only in his mind and gave us this:

You still love me.

Sometimes I feel like he has a serious personality disorder. Look, he kind of slayed this too, however it didn't go over well especially after 37th episode.

Maybe I am right maybe he's really unstable, I mean look at him. He has this selfish side that doesn't seem to get healed even after 2 years. He loves being loved, he enjoys seeing being wanted, he has this telling look which says he's glad that she can't move on either no matter how painful it's for her.

Well, he's kind of saying he wants her back and is ready to do anything for it but the scenes are so short which makes the effect weak.

STILL.

They have an effect on me anyway.

[otherone12]

What Would They Do, If They Just Knew

(P!ATD reference lol)

Gerard Way × Reader

-> Masterlist

A/N: Hey!! This is the most basic plot ever, but it was 2am and I wanted to write something. I tried to make this with more feelings, idk I liked this one. If you have any request, I'll be happy to write it :)

A/N 2: I'm writting a Frank x Reader imagine. Idk how to finish, but i will post it soon.

Summary: You are a famous actress who was dating Gerard for about 2 years, but you haven't turned your relationship public yet, because of all the issues that this could bring to your career. However, you both were hired to some Comic-Con, and you don't know whether or not this is the right time to tell'em about it.

- Word Count: 1,905

- Warnings: Big age gap (again, 'cause I love it)

- Ps: I'll not use y/n…

- Ps2: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language ... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

___________________________________________

1st person POV

   Being famous is such a complicated thing, and dating another celebrity is a mess. All the fear of how fans will react, and how the media will turn more invasive about our personal lives just freak us out. That's why Gerard and I keeped our relationship out of the lights for so long. 

    Yesterday, I got a call from my agent. She asked me if I was up for being one of the guests of the Comic-Con this year, together with my co-star, who had already agreed to participate. 

    Prior to answering anything, I had a mind to ask Gerard what he thinks about it, and if he wanted to go with me. 

    Before I could call him, my phone started to ring. I knew who was by the name of the contact, but hearing his voice always make butterflies in my stomach.

    -Hey, sugar! Got a sec? I need to ask you something. If you aren't busy, of course.

   - Hi, babe! Yeah, I was about to call you too… - I giggled a bit by the coincidence - But you go first. What's shakin’?

    The moment he started to talk, I got up from my bed and started to walk through my bedroom. I don't know why, but I do this every time I answer a call.

   -So… the staff of Comic-Con want me there to talk concerning Doom Patrol and meet some fans. - He sounded really excited and I couldn't help but let a smile grow on my face. - I was wondering if you'd like to go with me. 

   - Well… They want me there too, so I think we're going together though!

   - Really?! - He practically screamed at the phone. - That's awesome! 

   - You know, I was wondering if isn't this the moment to tell'em about us. - I started to speak and notice that I will have to be the most convincing I could. - Will be very suspicious if we appear together without an explanation, so I thought that the easier way to do this was to tell them. 

   The silence lasted for a few seconds, so the best thing I might think of to try to take all this pressure off him, was to show that I understood whatever his decision was. 

   - But if you don't think it's a good idea…

    I sounded the most calm I could. 

   - I wanna tell the world about you, about us, but… you know how this could end. - He sighed. - We kinda belong to different worlds, and the age gap doesn't help at all. 

    -You're right. Sorry… - I didn't know how to feel, half of me longed that he wanted to turn this public, but the other half are relieved he doesn't want to. - I must have been out of my mind and… Well, I have to tell my agent that I'm in. l call you back later? 

   - I'll have the rest of the day free. I'll be there so we can talk properly. What you think?

    “Talk properly”? About this? I thought that he was sure that wasn't a good idea. Even so, the prospect of seeing Gerard cheered me up. 

   -Sure! - The last time we could spend more than a dinner together was about a month ago. - You gonna stay here?

   - If you don't mind…

   - I'd love to! - I literally jumped for joy 

   - Gotta go now, catch you later, babe!

   - Bye! 

   He turned off the phone, and I called back my agent, confirming my presentear the Comic Con. 

   I couldn't wait till Gerard came here. Maybe it is a bit silly to be that excited about a simple thing like this, but we were so busy in the last months and barely had time for each other. Of course we call and text each other every day, but I miss the nights we spend together, laughing, cuddling and… you know

   Anyways, the sensation of waiting made me bored for the first time in years. I'm again overthinking over the conversation, and what “talk properly” means. 

   All the possible scenarios end up with a confused blur in my mind. The boredom gradually turned into an anguish that slowly consumed me.  

   Before things got worse, I heard the bell and went downstairs to open the door. The moment the creaking of the door echoed in my ears, I looked up only to meet his eyes. Standing in front of my door, Gerard looked pretty as always, the smell of coffee emanated from his green coat and all my worries left my mind when I felt his arms around my body.

   - Hey 

    Gerard’s calm voice in my ear and his warm arms holding me, made me feel better than I have in weeks. 

   - Hey 

    I mutter with my face buried in his chest. 

He let go from me, but still close, he held my chin with his finger and brought his lips closer to mine slowly. I felt a shiver down my spine when our lips finally met and he grabbed my hips pulling me even closer. I melted against him, letting myself get lost in the moment and forget that we weren't supposed to do that at the front door.

    Finally, we pulled back, breathless and slightly dazed, his kind gaze almost made me kiss him again.

   - I missed you - Ahead of i could do anything, Gerard looked deep in my eyes and all the colors of his iris were glowing. - I missed you so much fucking.

   - So did I - I smiled back at him and grabbed his hand. - Come in!

   I closed the door behind him, he gave me his coat and I put it on a hanger next to the door.    

   I took a record from my collection and put it on. while Gerard sit on the couch. As soon as the ambient music started, I fell by his side and stayed next to him. I laid my head on his shoulder and, with a heavy sigh, he began to bring up the subject that he wanted to “talk properly”.

    - So… about the call, I've been thinking - I couldn't read his gaze this time, so I felt my stomach doing a few flips and I started to get worried again. - I know that this is gonna have to happen someday, but now?

    - Well, it's a place full of fans, so I think that they'll support, Right? 

    I didn't move from his shoulder, so he wrapped his arm around my back. I never thought I'd be by my boyfriend's side, trying to figure out if we will or won't tell our fans that we're dating. Such a weird situation.

    - If they don’t? - I’m not used to the serious tone he used. - I mean, you’re half of my age… your fans will be a bit mad with this.

    - If they are real fans, they will understand that if i'm happy they have no reason to be mad. - I took a second to think of another possibility - On the other hand, reporters and gossip magazines will freak out over this, and probably the sensationalism will make our names trending topics.

    He moved his head to face me, and with a shy smile, he said:

    - I think you are worth the risk.

    I turned my gaze to him and smiled back:

    - Are you sure? 

    - Totally. - Gerard kissed my forehead, and his soft smile turned out that serious look again. - How will we do that?

    - Well, I'll have to answer some fans' questions and always someone asks me about relationships. I could bring you to the stage and formally introduce you.

    - Sounds like a plan to me.

*** time skip ***

   Today is gonna be the day. I dressed up in comfortable clothes, which matched the warm weather. Gerard and I decided to go in different cars, so people will know just when we tell’em. All the event is cool, pretty cosplays and kind people everywhere. I saw Gerard in the comics section, and a kilometer line of fans, waiting to get an autograph.

    On my way to the stage, I noticed that the presenter was talking with my co-star. He saw me and waved with a big smile on his face. We've worked together for eight seasons, and always had a strong friendship connection, even though our characters were each other's romantic interests.

    Finally, it was time to answer the fans' questions. So we, my co-star and I, went to the stage with microphones and bottles of water then we started. The first question was about the new season, the second was over my new haircut, but the third one was exactly the question I wanted to answer.

   - Hi! I’m Anna, and before asking you my question, I want to say that I'm a huge fan of both of you. I've watched your series like a hundred times. - The teen girl giggles and keeps talking. - And I also have a bunch of posters of you in my room. 

    - We’re happy to hear it! - He says, looking at the girl and smiling - What’s your question, Anna?

   - The question is for both of you. You have so much chemistry, why don't you both try dating?

    I looked at him and we laughed a bit.

    - We’re good friends. - He said, trying not to be rude with the girl - But I really don’t think we’d work together, you know. 

    - Yeah, and I also have a boyfriend for about two years. 

   I took a deep breath and got the courage to move my gaze from the girl to the crowd. I saw a lot of confused faces and shocked gazes. 

    - Neither did I knew that! - My co-star wasn’t that different from the rest of the people there. - Can we know who this mysterious guy is?

  - Guys, you really want to know? - I asked the crowd with a teasing tone. - ‘Cause he is right here backstage…  

     I pointed to the curtains behind me and the loud screams made me laugh. I walked through the people who take care of the sound and lighting on the stage, and found Gerard, who was looking at me with a fake confidence smile. 

    - You’re ready? 

    I standing my hand to him, he take it and after some instats he said: 

    - I think I'm alright. 

    Hand in hand, we walked back to the stage. I thought I was about to throw up, but as long as he was still with me, I'll be fine.

    - NO WAY! - My co-star said with wide eyes - I mean, literally “The Way”. 

    We laughed, but the crowd was still very confused.

    - So… guys, here’s my boyfriend, Gerard Way. 

    I gave a brief look to him and back to the fans, but I wasn't expecting what was coming.

    Gerard turned to me and held my face with his hands. I looked up at him, knowing what he was about to do. I wrapped my arms around his neck and we kissed, on the Comic-Con stage. 

    The sound of applause, along with screams and one or two isolated boos echoed throughout the event.  Some camera clicks were also audible. But we didn’t mind, and kept kissing until we lost our breath.

    - Now they know. 

   I whispered. smiling at him and a feeling similar to quickly removing a band-aid came over me. I think we can call this feeling relief.

    -  I think so - He smiled back and gave me a quick kiss. - What about now?

    - Now we wait till tomorrow, and check our social media. 

   I’ll not lie, I'm really nervous about it.

___________________________________________

~ So... that's it. lemme know if you enjoyed ;)

Part 2

[a-simply-simping-simp]

Guess who's still crying about Beast? Me! I watched the movie and read the beggining and end of the light novel because I got lazy. Not expecting the end in the movie though. Spoiler drawing ahead and comments btw

Made me so sad. I was going to rant in another post, but I might as well do it here.

So, number one, the sugar cube scene was so adorable I literally cried. I mean it. Like I LITERALLY sobbed.

Number 2, Oda WHYYYYYYYY?! I'M LITERALLY CRYING WHILE TYPING WRITE NOW THINKING ABOUT IT. YOU ARE FRIENDS, YOU ARE, PLEASEEEE. DAZAI'S FACE WHEN HE PULLED THE GUN OUT IN THE BAR AND TOLD HIM NOT TO CALL HIM ODASAKU WAS LIKE A SLAP TO THE FACE.

Number 3, When at the end of the movie, Fyoder was being a little rat and messed everything up, I wanted to vomit out of an array of emotions. I was confused, sad, angry, and just so dang overwhelmed. Like I was ugly crying five seconds ago cuz of Dazai and then this SEWER RAT came and made me confused. I'll get into him in anothe post.

Number 4, In the movie, when Dazai stabbed his leg to show Chuuya his commitment and how much he deserves his trust didn't make sense when I saw it, however, after I recently read the book and watched the play Julius Ceaser, I was like OOOOOOOOH. Dazai immitating Portia and Chuuya Brutus made me just sooo....wow.

Number 5, When it turned out that MORI was the new director I just- absolutley NOT. Do NOT put a pedophile in his perfect Utopia, Dazai WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! Also, I thought he killed him the whole time. Just think about it. A pedophile in an orphanage. You know how if you're being sexually assulted or something, you're supposed to tell a trusted adult like a parentor a teacher? THESE KIDS HAVE NO PARENTS.

Number 6, Chuuya being locked up in that poor governemnt facility broke my heart. Just think about how many people are going to die? Like there is no way Chuuya Nakahara is going to succumb to a bunch of itsy bitsy chains. He' breaking out and killing everyone in there and then the agency. Convince me otherwise.

Number 7, I can't. I'll make an entirely seperate post for Chuuya too, but can we just talk for a second? He went crazy because Dazai committed suicide. He went on a whole rampage and it took 3 special ability resistance units to take him down. This is what happens when there is no Dazai when he uses corruption. But the REASON he went into corruption was just...wow. I always knew they had a complicated relationship but at the same time it was just so simple. Like, they hate eachother, but they also don't. They don't like eachother, but it's not like they don't either. It's not like they complete one another, but it's like one soul in two bodies. They're so simply complicated that if you asked me what their relation was, I'd just say, they're complications. Because in reality, their relationship is just so unexplainable. You need to see it to understand it. There are relationships like lovers, enemys, frenemies, friends, siblings, etc, but they fit into literally no category but they aren't strangers either. This is getting too long, so I'll make a different post about that.

Number 8, Chuuya pleaseeee don'ttttt. There is no need to attack the agency, my guy. He wants to avenge Dazai's death, but what is there to avenge? Dazai did suicide. He wasn't killed. Chuuya was so upset that he wanted to kill all the agency. I just....can't. It's kind of sad. This is also going to be really long if I go on, so I'll make another post about this topic.

Number 9, the way Chuuya just really couldn't understand made me wanna bang my head on the wall in tears. He truly couldn't think of why Dazai did it. He was kind of alright one second and then dead the next. The entire time, you can tell how little Chuuya was incorporated into the script he wrote. The ending for each one was different as the movie had him go insane and be put under governemnt care, while the light novel just left him to do his own thing. However, in both you can see that neither of them ever knew what was going on. Dazai never gave him a reason to why he killed himself. Everyone else seems to be going on like nothing happened or at least as if they know what happened and came to terms with it, but then he knows nothing. He was his bodyguard and right hand man and yet NOTHING. I'll get back to this in another post lol. TvT

So yeah. I cried a lot.

[im-ovulating]

⚠️IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT⚠️

Hey, guys... so I've been writing on here for the last 2 years (almost 3) and while I have loved every second of it I can't do it anymore.

I can't....

...keep Pirate! Bakugo to myself any longer...

Imagine you're running, through shabby alleys and past the cess pools your town calls taverns, weaving through the crowded pathways; a couple of men are chasing you, their angry shouts getting mixed with the hustle of the busy streets. You turn your head to risk a glance at your pursuers- shit, they're closer than you thought.

Just as you turn your head back and go to put once last push into your gait, you slam into something big and solid. The sudden arm in your way clotheslines you and sends you scrambling for anything to keep you upright. Not that you need to- the same arm that sent you reeling now has the front of your shirt, hauling you upright.

"Oi!-" The arm's owner barks out, just to be interrupted by the men chasing you.

"Thank you! This little bitch stole our coin," the shorter of the pair turns his yellowed snarl to your form, still held in the strangers steel-like grip.

"I stole nothing!" You growl back, desperately trying to free yourself. Your nails dig into your captor's wrist, but he remains unfazed.

You finally see his face when he turns to you. His eyes bore into your own as he stares you down. "D'ja take their shit?"

His messy blonde hair casts a scary loom over the top half of his face, almost making his blood reds glow. "I didn't steal anything..." you grunt out, trying to yank yourself free.

"So, you're a thief AND a lia-" The taller accuser snarks.

"Enough," the man holding you says, deadly calm. "She said she didn't steal it, so go."

The men raise their voices, yelling their injustices. The second man makes a swipe at you, trying to tug you away from your newfound savior. In a flash, the man yanks you behind him and clocks him in the jaw, felling him.

The other evidently decides that there are more important things to squabble over because he leaves his companion in the dust, clutching his face.

"Leave." The blonde growls, towering over the guy's pathetic form.

Neither of you moves as he scrambles away, stumbling over himself as he rounds a corner.

Your eyes widen. "Wha-"

Once gone, he turns to look at you. "Where is it?"

"-Don't play games with me. Where is it?"

You huff as you reach into your bra and pull out to coin purse. "How'd you know?"

"Only the guilty run. Now hand it over."

Eyeing his outstretched hand, you contemplate how far you could get if you ran. When he cocks his eyebrow, you relent, handing the bag over. You've done enough running today to last you a lifetime.

"What are you? An undercover constable?"

His face twists into an ugly snarl, "Opposite end o' the spectrum, doll." You watch as he counts out the gold, pocketing a few coins and tossing the bag back to you.

"Don't look at me like that- Pirates don't work for free."

-

Now imagine that each time he comes to port, you end up running into each other. Sometimes figuratively, other times literally (you're very prone to be chased through the streets - it's definitely NEVER your fault, though...).

You've seen him beat people up for looking at him the wrong way, so the confusion never fades about why he decided to help you all those months ago. You've asked, of course, but all you get is a noncommittal grunt or a large palm pushing you away by the face as he trudges past you.

Eventually, the "coincidental" visits turn into gifts- nothing huge, just little trinkets that "I've no use for the damned thing, thought cha might, though..."

Dont ask. I've had this in my drafts for almost 3 years, so I figured I'd just post it, lmao. If there's any grammar mistakes/spelling errors, blame 17 year old me, I didn't proofread this - I just added that first bit🙃

[goldom]

Flipping back to part 2 in HI3. I went over to it when I thought catching up would be required to get the free Elysia, but then it wasn't, so I went back to pt 1. But now it really is required to get free gems, so okay fine let's try to get it done. Chapter 4.

Dreamy's single-track focus on "Where's my girlfriend" and completely ignoring whatever Vita's trying to get her to do is what I wanted to see from Stelle in HSR 2.1.

That said, I have just as little clue now what the actual plot here is as I did what was going on in Penacony in 2.1. Why does she need to relive this simulation over and over?

Oh no she's Acheroning me

Y'know if Theresa et al are willing to see Dreamy as a real girl despite being an artificial being they made (right?) why don't they grant that same consideration to everyone else inside the simulation? And, like, not make them relive their entire existence of suffering over and over for (whatever purpose) because that's kinda inhumane?

*whispers* why is Bronya named PROMETHEUS (not really asking I'll get to the rest of part 1 some day)

Theresa getting AMAV (assigned male at Vita)

...who? Is it me? Is this a [Omikron: the] Nomad Soul situation?

also: "I DEMAND NEW GENDERS"

I actually really like real-world Theresa's outfit way more than this weird sleep-deprived gremlin thing they turn her into

Literally 5 minutes ago

It's really annoying how you can't open any of the menus during story missions in part 2. I can't even tell if I'm still in the first section of the chapter or if it's been autoplaying into later ones. (Really hoping it's the latter because god these are so long)

Hey cool, I have learned a tiny bit of Chinese. Just heard Theresa say 好累 (Hǎo lèi) and matched it with the caption of "so exhausting" because it's one of ZZZ Ellen's voice lines (which I never knew the meaning of, being unsubtitled)

Wait didn't Songque just say that Thelema was an imaginary friend in this loop why is she standing there

I thought it was the Age of Girls Bands

say ittttttttt

Same, Vita. This is really boring... can something of any importance happen sometime again?

Now I'm in my element.

Jesus Christ, Vita, I know we were bored but you didn't have to bomb the entire city just to get the plot moving

whoa whoa whoa, wait, this game has combat in it too? Wild.

...well, 10 seconds of it.

okay, so Vita doesn't see the people in here as real. (Or she's playing the heel for... some reason.)

*everyone staring at the appearance of Evil Lady* Me: am i supposed to know who that is?

Dreamy: "Is that me?" Thank you for explaining. Face blindness strikes again.

OH THANK GOD that was the whole chapter. I was so scared this would all end up being just that first little segment of the chapter and that I'd be in ch 4 for days and days. I did it I beat the chapter!

Aside from that... annoyingly got baby-Durandal in the discounted 10x (annoying because I didn't really want her and I was 20 off pity, but who can resist 50% off?), but then I reluctantly figured I might as well try for her weapon and got it in another single 10x! So I guess I use her now. Probably for the best because I had NO physical damage or IMG types from the last few years, so that was my weakest spot.

Still, kinda would have rather gotten Sena in upcoming rerun. I don't really need her at all, but... Sena...

[softodettes]

2024 fic writer end of year round up!

i was tagged by @maethologies and @siobhanbooks (thank you besties!!). if i tagged you in this, take that as a sign that i'm tagging you to participate! 💗

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

as of this afternoon: 89,916 words! i wanted to hit 100k published, but the second half of the year really put me through it.

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

10 oneshots!

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

i posted 3, and i have 3 more that aren't posted that i'm working on with plans to post next year.

4. What was your favourite thing you wrote?

i really love read it and weep. i love playing Wordle so much, so it was fun to combine that with FW for a cute fluff piece.

i also love i wanna touch you but you're too far away. it was probably the first smut fic that i confidently posted, and it's one of the only fics i've posted that i reread because i just think it's really good.

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

they're both very tame, but visions of sugarplums is my most "out-there" and niche AU. it's 3rd person present, which is something i've played around with in shorter one shots, but this is the first time i used it in a longer fic.

vacation (all i ever wanted) was also different! it was my first poly fic, so trying to balance all 3 people and their relationships with each other was definitely new for me!

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

after resurrection for sure!

a lot of people in this fandom hate Brennan (which is valid, don't get me wrong!), so i never expected more than a handful of people to read it. so when it hit 100 kudos a few weeks ago, i cried a little because it has grown above and beyond what i ever imagined, and i'm continuously blown away by the positive reception it gets.

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

there is pretty much no plot, but i love the imagery i used in and if i could give you the moon, i would give you the moon. and i'm plugging i wanna touch you but you're too far away again because i think it's some of the best smut i've written.

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

on instagram: _clxarts, 0jem0, rosiethorns88, cuddlydevil1114, and rosedskies

on tumblr: @ann7av, @taumoebaa, @flaviedub, @rosalynnart

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

@taumoebaa, @maethologies, and @widebrimmedhatsblog all inspired me this year (especially during kinktober!)

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

literally everyone in this fandom! i obviously can't tag everyone, but people like @siobhanbooks, @hockeyspiral23, @pretty-pleaseee, @heartfeltletters-written, @shipmistress9, and @dbac2822 and so many others wrote some of my favorite fics!

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

i did not! maybe 2025 will be the year of that, who knows.

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

that i posted 89K and wrote 123k words. before this year, the most i'd ever written was probably around 3k words for papers, and i managed to blow that number out of the water within the first month of writing.

i also managed all of that while in grad school full time, especially this fall when i was taking something crazy like 20+ units, and i'm just really proud of myself for making time for this hobby that i love. (but it's no wonder i burned out for a bit towards the end of this year LOL).

also posting for kinktober! if anyone remembers my mini crash out in september, i was so, so nervous about posting smut. but @maethologies, @widebrimmedhatsblog, and @heartfeltletters-written were so encouraging when we were all preparing for kinktober, and i'm so glad i posted because writing smut is just so fun lol.

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

writing is hard and it sucks and it can dredge up old emotions and open wounds you thought were healed, but it can also be wonderful and fun and make you feel happy and connect with others, which makes the trade-off worth it.

14. Any advice you’d like to share with new or aspiring writers?

that idea that's been hanging out in the back of your mind? i want you to open your notes app and just start typing, because you might just surprise yourself. writing those first words is one of the most terrifying things you'll do. posting those words is also terrifying. but there are plenty of people who will want to read what you have to say... you just have to take that leap.

also, you will be your biggest critic. it's very hard, but please don't get stuck in a cycle of negativity because it can kill your motivation. i promise that whatever the small voice in your head is saying about your writing isn't accurate.

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

i want to finish AR, start properly working on suburban legends and reverence, and post some of the fics that have just been sitting in document purgatory. i also want to keep fleshing out my writing style and to improve my grammar knowledge (english is my native language but it's still hard!)

i also want to stop comparing myself to others! it's normal to feel envy and jealousy, but comparison really is the thief of joy, and i want to spend more time celebrating my writing accomplishments, rather than focusing on what i wish i had or the crazy things i want to achieve in the future.

and i want to read more!! a lot of my fic reading fell off towards the end of this year, so i want to make an effort to carve out time to read and comment on works and support other authors.

[despite-everything]

play rich is so fun.

i work serving really rich people, but just got off work and played a fun little game. i work near this fancy eyewear boutique that i knew had frames from my all-time favorite brand (that's too expensive for me to justify buying from), but had never gone in until now. my work schedule changed and i just got off - it's snowing outside so i decided to pop in the (tiny) shop at which point i spotted my dream sunglasses.

i asked about them, and the two shop workers were absolutely fabulous. they really knew what they were talking about and we had a great conversation about japanese eyewear, the company, the details, leather, luxury upcharges, damascus steel... just an interesting conversation sparked by the sunglasses. they offered to order any pair i like in any color i like from that brand (small, employing a small number of well-compensated craftsmen, i dig their ethos as a company) with no obligation of purchase for free.

i am most interested in a color way they didn't have in the shop, but i asked for a quote with prescription lenses. they said their optician would be able to answer once she had my prescription, but she was not in today and i didn't have a copy of my prescription handy. so they gave me her card and told me to send an email. and then they showed me some more cool frames from the brand, we kept talking, and i had such a nice time.

i told them i'd reach out and would let them know if i'd like them to order a pair to try in the palladium i like, but that the frames are currently backordered, so they'd need to talk to the company to get an estimate on when they would be available. i thanked them and left, and now i'm just so happy. when i say expensive i mean that i think the base price is like $700 before a prescription. maybe $1000. but i love them and tbh if i ever do decide to be a bit financially irresponsible, i'd get them from that shop for sure.

i have some friends who encouraged me to get those lenses before, and while they're both much older than me and really successful and i value their perspectives (major role models and tbh goals for me. so grateful for them), they have Money. i don't lol. but they also came to town and we actually met up last night so it kinda feels like a sign...

and i want to say that i'll get the sunglasses if i get this job i'm deciding to apply for... i'm underqualified, but they posted the job a month ago, then relisted it like 2 weeks ago. and i do have education and experience, but less than they're looking for. plus i don't have as many community connections here because i literally moved a month ago, but i'm very dedicated to forming them (with or without the dream job). but my friends from last night think it's worth a shot?? but they also don't know my full situation so like... idk. but many people have now suggested i apply anyway, so i think i will? anyway. i'm afraid i've now jinxed it. debating deleting this whole bit, but i've now articulated the thought, so is it too late now? i think i can get with the concept of something like that being possible. i've been reading a lot on relational quantum physics lately. and i'm high on the train. regardless, if i got that job, i would get a massive pay bump. my income would literally triple. and it's the role i want in the career i want in the location i want. so of course i don't want to get my hopes up. but if i get that job... maybe i'll get the sunglasses as a reward.

regardless, those glasses are well outside my economic class. almost everything im wearing is second hand, i feel like i look a bit of a mess because id gotten 2 hours of sleep before a really long day at work, and my umbrella and bag are clearly old and beat up. and the neighborhood is one of the most expensive in nyc... i just work there. so i was honestly worried about the staff being dismissive or rude (this has happened to me before. i work in service and know how annoying customers can be, but i also have dealt with judgement in rich spaces before) but they were so kind and knowledgeable. it obviously helped that i know about leather and steel craftsmanship, so we had common interests, but i still felt like they were genuinely interested in speaking with me and not just doing it out of obligation to their jobs.

idk i just felt like in order to make that work i had to fake the confidence of someone who "belonged there" and act like money wasnt an object. and maybe i didn't, but it still felt necessary. but its fun when it works (despite my physical appearance) and opens up another world.

or maybe they were just nice.

[spuirrelwiththeletterp]

did not think it was gonna be this severe-

so...

I decided to do @nandosplush13's challenge (I blame you /pos)

I knew I was gonna feel embarrassed looking back at the oldest art I have, but still wanted to do it cuz fun! so I dug around the boxes and found a lil folder of cut out drawings I made over 4 years ago

picked the only non full body one, that I also decided I wanted to re-draw (and redesign) too, and like I

I...

I did not realize how much nostalgia and joy I'd feel drawing these two GOOBERS again

here's an extra behind the scenes C:

I had a whole Steve Saga PHASE, that stuff was my damn CHILDHOOD, I should have known I was gonna go through a damn rollercoaster with this!

and like

I'm beyond happy that I decided to do this challenge

I

...

dear moot, you have re-awoken my childhood phase 👁👁

so you guys know how I said I was making doodles in the previous post?

and I was having a blast with them?

yeah?

well

I SWEAR TO GOD NANDO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME 😭😭 /POS

NOT ONLY AM I BACK TO BEING (hopefully momentarily) OBSESSED WITH STEVE SAGA, I'M BACK TO BEING OBSESSED WITH RAINBOW QUEST AND EVEN TWISTED RAINBOW (never really got into Steve Legends. I do like Goggles tho, even if he's just pre-Rainbow Quest Professor Red)

I WANTED TO DRAW MORE OF THEM

- I WANTED TO DRAW TR (Twisted Rainbow) SABRE FIGHTING TR SHADOW SABRE WITH HIS COOL TIME SWORD (did draw full power Shadow tho) - I WANTED TO DRAW ASSISTANT STEVE SAYING HIS STUPID LIL "YOU MORON" AND I'M DEPRESSED I COULDN'T DRAW HIM (my beloved why u so difficult to draw) - I WANTED TO DRAW SS (Steve Saga) TIME AND ELEMENTAL STEVE FIGHTING BEHIND SS GALAXY STEVE, AND MAYBE SS HYPNO STEVE TOO - I WANTED TO PERFECTLY CAPTURE THE ORIGINAL I'M LITERALLY RIGHT BEHIND YOU IT'S LIKE HE'S RIGHT BEHIND ME SCENE BUT I JUST COULDN'T CAPTURE SS SABRE'S CONFUSED JOY SO I KINDA TWEAKED IT AROUND A BIT - I WANTED TO DRAW SS GALAXY STEVE'S EXPLANATION OF WHAT A BALLOON IS AND BUTCHERING IT IN THE MOST GALAXY WAY POSSIBLE - I WANTED TO DRAW A COMPARISON BETWEEN HOW SS ELEMENTAL STEVE IS A STUPID (not actually stupid) VILLAIN AND HOW RQ (Rainbow Quest) ELEMENTAL STEVE IS OBSESSED WITH PUMPKIN PIES - I THOUGHT OF DRAWING BLUE RAINBOW STEVE TO SHOW A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RQ RAINBOW STEVES - THOUGHT OF DRAWING M (my second beloved) OR GERALD TOO - THOUGHT OF DRAWING FRICKING NIGHTMARE STEVE AND NIGHTMARE SANS BOTH BEING LIKE "THIS GUY'S HELLA WEAK LMAO"

ooohhhh BOI sorry I went on a whole tangent

MY LIL NOTES ON THE DOODLES THEMSELVES

- love how I only drew like 5 Steves (2 SS Galaxy Steves and 3 Rainbow Steves (1 SS and 2 RQ)), and the rest (excluding 2 sona doodles) is just Sabre/Shadow Sabre variants - I love the lil designs I came up with for RQ Rainbow Steve and his infected form - I want to go into detail on the design quirks I chose, but am choosing not to unless someone is interested for whatever reason - y'all can guess who's the crush - and y'all can ask me about the doodles themselves (don't know why anyone would but if anyone wants to ask, go ahead)

have SS Galaxy Steve's design that I made cuz I love it a lot (yes I made the space effect myself and yes I tried to subtly make his hair in the shape of a star)

now I want to dig out my old laptop to see what kind of art I used to make of these idiots (and maybe re-draw some) and see what kind of redesigns I had (I 100% had redesigns for some Steve Saga characters like Sabre, Rainbow Steve, and Time Steve. actually the current redesign of SS Sabre I made is based somewhat on what I remember from the previous redesign I made of him!)

now if y'all excuse me, I'm going to bed as it's 4 in the damn morning where I am

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #365

Today was relatively boring until R popped by to make cookies. I woke up a little later than I probably should have, and then I did a bit of leisure writing for longer than I probably should have, and then I showered and went to physical therapy. Not much progress was made on the “rib injury recovery” front, but that's okay. Not all sessions can be perfectly productive.

But on the bright side, at some point this morning, I pushed on my first or second rib near my right shoulder joint, and something went POP really nicely, and that made it a lot easier for me to move my right arm around for a little while. So that was pretty cool!

I ate when I got home, which was very good, because by the time I got home, I hadn't eaten in like over 24 hours. The whole “needing to scrub out the inside of my face” thing and the whole “some of my dentin is exposed and ouchy because of the way some of my teeth have moved” thing really discourage the whole “eating” thing. So admittedly... I haven't exactly been keeping up with the whole “eating balanced meals” thing lately. Whoops.

But! Here's what I made for myself! I thought it was really good!

We've got warmed pumpkin English muffins with mascarpone cheese spread on them, a burrata, a peeled, in-season grapefruit (they're SOOOO good when they're in season...!!!), some salami, some cheese slices, and some roast beef! And there's one of the brownies that Br, the dandelion-haired man, made for us!

The mug has toast-and-jam flavored tea, sweetened with honey and uh... more mascarpone cheese, ahahaha~! I think... at least for now... that it might be my new favorite thing in tea. Like. It goes surprisingly well with literally so many things, oh my goodness!

...I wonder if you would have liked my breakfast. I wish I could have shared it with you. I thought it was pretty freaking great.

After that, I mostly just chilled out until R arrived. And once he did arrive, he showed me all the awesome stuff he's got in his sketchbook so far!!! Because, you see, R is not only an amazing baker; he's also an amazing artist and illustrator!!!

Actually, art class in college over a decade ago is how I know him. We were in the same figure drawing class together. And both of us have experience drawing P, my elderly friend.

...Thinking about it, it's kinda wild that R and I both know what P looks like naked, for entirely non-sexual reasons. It's also kinda wild, some of the crazy poses that P can do for the sake of a figure drawing class, despite his age. I guess all that yoga he does must be really helpful.

What a weird and varied life I live!!! Hahahaha!

…

...I'd give it to you in a heartbeat, you know. If you wanted it. If you wanted something different. I'd trade places. I know that things in my world aren't perfect; there are lots of problems, to be sure. But still, I'd happily take on whatever pain you carry so that you can have the wholesomeness and joy that I have now.

For now... I guess I'll just settle for showing you pictures of the cookies that R and I baked together from the cookie dough he made for us last week.

These are cranberry oatmeal cookies:

These are cookies with red and green M&Ms scattered through the dough. For whatever reason, red and green put together are traditional Christmas colors in my part of the world. M&Ms, in case you don't know, are round pieces of chocolate coated with a thin, brittle candy shell. I don't like M&Ms very much. But I do like these cookies:

...And finally, we have these crescent-shaped almond flour cookies, dusted with vanilla-infused sugar:

...I think you really would have liked those ones in particular. I think my favorite was the cranberry oatmeal cookies, though, which, to me, is pretty wild, given that I'm not normally very fond of oatmeal cookies!!

At some point, R and I got to talking just a little bit about a game called Ape Escape, and its sequel, Ape Escape 2. These are games in which you run around capturing monkeys that are causing mischief due to the intelligence-enhancing helmets they wear. Presumably, they heighten their capacity to wield tools, without heightening their capacity for empathy, impulse control, or delayed gratification. It's a very cute pair of games!

I played the sequel within the last several years. I haven't played the original since I was a teenager (holy shit, how in the fuck did I get old???) Nonetheless, there are several very catchy tracks from the original game that I thought were really memorable. So catchy and memorable, in fact, that I still know them even after all these years, even without having heard them since then until just today. I heard them just today, because I went looking for them, just so I could show them to you, because I think they're peppy and fun, even if they are a bit silly and a tad repetitive:

...Of the ones above, my favorite is probably the first one!! It kinda makes me wanna wiggle, ahahahaha~!! But I really really like the second one, too! That one kinda makes me wanna stomp my feet around really fast!! And the third one makes me kinda wanna skip and hop around!! Eeeheehee~!!

...Hey, Sephiroth? Are there any songs that make you wanna wiggle or dance around in some joyful way? If there are, will you show them to me? It'd be nice to wiggle and stomp and skip and hop around with you like the pair of silly, overcomplicated primates that we are! Bahaha~!!

From the second game, I really enjoy these two:

The first one makes me wanna do some kind of hula!!! And the second one really makes me wanna zoom around, especially at the part that starts at around 41 seconds in!!

Hey, Sephiroth!!! Maybe someday let's also hula and zoom around like a couple of silly marshmallows!!! Won't that be fun!!!

...Impossible, I know. But still, I like to imagine you can read the above things and grin delightedly at the thought of it!! Maybe you can still try these things even if I'm not nearby to do it with you!!

...You know, I'll bet Zack would wiggle and dance around with you, though! Maybe you can ask him!!

Ahhhh!!!!! I have an itch to do StepMania now!!!! But it's much too late at night to get into all that! Goodness me!!!!

...I've decided that the second sentence in the above paragraph is all your fault!!! I declare shenanigans (insert here a mental image of me pointing a dramatically accusatory finger directly at you)!!! And the only “apology” I'll accept is if you to do the StepMania together with me!!! Wahahahaha~!!

...I'm kidding, of course! In all seriousness, though, I'll have to ask J if we can test out StepMania on his laptop soon, since mine kinda... can't be moved around very well anymore, since the screen is broken.

R eventually had to go home. But you know what!! I got to send him home with the lavender-scented sloth plushie that I found at Walgreen's when I was spending time with BB!! It's got a little sachet inside filled with lavender and with things that absorb heat well. So you put the sachet in the microwave to warm it up, and then you put the warmed sachet in the sloth plushie, and then you have a warm, fuzzy, cuddly plushie to hug!! And this one is especially good, since I'm pretty sure sloths are R's favorite animal!

Hey, Sephiroth...? What kind of plushie would you like best? I wonder...

…

...I can't believe it's time for me to go to bed already. I gotta, because I have work tomorrow. And I do wanna go to work, but I don't wanna go to bed yet, because I'm writing to you, and I'm having a lot of fun with it. I feel really silly and good right now, probably because I'm in less pain than usual, and probably because I had a little too much caffeine, and probably way too much sugar from the cookies I ate, hahaha...

...Even if you can't ever talk or write back to me, I hope you know that it's still a lot of fun to write to you, even on days when I don't feel very good. It's still a lot of fun to spend time with you, even in this abstract way. You're lovable as-is, you know. You always have been. You always will be.

And I know that because I love you. I always will. It's never gonna change. So please try to stay safe out there as you do your things over at the Edge of Creation, okay? Because I'm not sure I'd be able breathe beneath a weight as immense as your absence.

I'll write again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[writtenx]

Finding You - azngami (part 3)

Hey my loves!! It's been a min, and I'd have to apologize for that! I think the main reason I haven't updated in a while is because I've been TEXTING THIS MAN ON STARYO???? if y'all haven't checked staryo out yet, please do, it's a messaging app where you can literally talk to any member of nsb or all the boys, whatever you want! And it's actually them, it's not like AI generated or whatever! So I feel like because I've been texting him on there, it's been a little weird to write a fanfic because he like...actually knows who I am now?? Does that make sense?? Idk, I'd consider him a friend at this point, and so to write fanfics about someone you're literally talking to, idk if that's just a me thing, but I feel pretty awkward.

At the same time tho, I do think this fic is cute and pretty harmless. I would never write anything uncomfortable and that's not where this is going. I don't imagine this to be a long fanfic and I don't know, the whole idea has been cute so I'll update here and there

Thank y'all so much for reading, part 4 will come by the end of this week, bc this one was kind of a short one!!

Be sure to read part 2 before this one, or even start over since it's been long, imma put the links up!

Happy reading :))

You woke up extra early the next morning from the warmth of the sun and the sound of birds chirping. You groaned, sat up for two seconds, staring at nothing as your consciousness was starting to rise. For some reason, although the day had passed and you and Diana went through shopping, eating, and then coming back home to raid all the snacks that there was for movie night, you still couldn't help but think of yesterday.

It was during the movie that Diana gasped loudly, causing you to shoot her a weird look as you noticed she was on her phone.

"What?"

Diana didn't reply, but immediately shoved her phone in your face. You quickly moved her hand away in reflex because you were convinced that girl was trying to blind you.

"Diana! Turn your brightness down!"

"Sorrrrryyy!" She said, quickly changing her settings. "Looked who replied to my storyyy!!" Her voice was chirpy.

You were curious as you leaned your head against your sister's looking at her screen. "Who?"

And then you saw the username which made you stop in your tracks.

You took Diana's phone and she laughed as you looked. You didn't know why but your heart skipped a beat.

hi diana this is random but did you and your sister go to (high school name)?

You hand the phone back, not being able to hide your smile.

"He texted 41 minutes ago." Diana pointed to the time that the message sent. "Oh my gosh, let me text back, hold on!"

You kept your eyes glued on Diana's phone, being presently there just to make sure she wouldn't do anything you wouldn't approve of.

"Okay...." Diana's voice trailed off and you layed your head on her shoulder, peering.

yes we did! you were in my sister's class right?? did you two see each other at whole foods yesterday?? i think she said she saw you but didn't know if it was you :)

You felt kind of nervous considering the fact that your sister was texting your crush about you, right next to you. You were curious to see what he would say, but you weren't even sure he was online.

And he wasn't. The waiting was the hard part. Because now the thoughts of him went through your mind as you tried to watch the rest of your favorite movie. But how could you? For the rest of the night there was nothing and you finally went to sleep.

It was this morning that you kept wondering if he did text back. But you probably wouldn't find out until after, as you were an earlier bird that Diana. The suspense was killing you, but you knew that sitting in the middle of your bed just thinking about a response wouldn't do anything. You had to get started with your day.

You had two cheat days this last week when it came to your workouts so you knew that you would need to start the routine back again. It was tiring at the start, but you crawled out of your bed, and washed your face and brushed your teeth. When you grabbed your workout mat in the corner of your room, you walked down the stairs and then went to the living room. Moving all space necessarily, you played a home workout video and followed the excersises. You knew lowkey why you were doing this. You wanted to be productive enough to give your mind something else to think about aside from Ryan.

What would he say? You questioned as you went down for pushups. But you shook your head and stretched your body fully on the mat and went into the pushups required for this circuit. Maybe he didn't even say anything yet; it wasn't even a full 24 hours.

You did your workout, showered, and then changed into your clothes for the day. There was a small breakfast cafe you lived across the street from and some days (like today) you would just get breakfast from there. You gave it a solid minute before you shook your head. You wanted to check up in Diana, but then that would be showing signs of obsession.

But you were always obsessed, why stop now?

You went straight to Diana's room. She was sleeping peacefully even thought it was 10am. You had two choices: either wake her up and interrogate, or let her sleep and hijack her phone.

You glanced at her phone beside her and then back to her. Finally, you decided to wake your sister up. She could always go back to sleep.

"Diana..." Your voice trailed off as you gently shook her.

You were grateful Diana was a light sleeper. She slowly opened her eyes and just stared at you.

"Hey, I'm gonna grab a breakfast sandwich at the cafe, do you want anything?" You asked, building it up. You didn't want to just wake her to ask if there were any new DMs or anything.

Diana stretched, rubbing her eyes as she made an inhumane sound. She had the covers over her face so you could just see her eyes.

"Um...can I have the fudge chocolate pancakes?" Her voice was hazy and her eyes were puffy. You kind of felt bad, but you knew that as soon as you left, Diana would go back to sleep.

"For sure. Anything else?" You asked.

Diana let her eyes close as she turned to the side. "No. Thank you." Then she slowly looked over at you.

"Did Ryan say anything?" She asked, half asleep.

You smiled for half a second before keeping a straight face, trying to pretend like the plan was never to find out about Ryan.

"Uhhh...I don't know, I wouldn't know, he texted you." You said.

Diana pointed to her phone as she groaned. You could see that sleep was about to take her in a few seconds. "You can check. You know my phone password, right?"

You shook your head. "Nah, I don't think so."

Diana said the numbers groggily and you thanked her before she went back to sleep. Now that her phone (and potentially Ryan's text) was in your hands, you didn't know what to do. You were nervous for some strange reason. All you had to do was just open instagram and look at the recent DMs. But you were scared.

What if he just left Diana on read? What if this, what if that, there were so many what ifs trailing your mind. But you did remember yesterday. Technically, he reached out first, and he asked if you both went to that high school you guys all went to. It was him, no doubt.

All you had to do was check Diana's dms. That's all. Nothing big. No huge ribbon cutting ceremony. Besides, maybe he knocked out early the night before and was still sleeping. Not everyone was an early riser like you.

No matter what, you had to check.

You took a few steps away from Diana's bed, awkwardly standing in the corner of the room with her phone in your hands. You have it 10 seconds, then 30, then a minute, and then finally you took a deep breath and went to instagram.

You went to her DMs and then saw Ryan Nguyen's name on top, in bold, as there were 3 new unread messages from last night at 2am.

yes she did see me at whole foods hahaha

i didnt know if she remembered me so that's why i didn't say hi

I hope you both are doing alright though :)

You smiled. And then panicked when you saw the little indicator that said that Ryan was now online.

Shoot.

You made to where Diana was still sleeping, now moving her arm. "Diana, he texted back at 2am and he's online right now and I don't know what to do!" You said.

Diana rubbed her eyes once more, squinting as she tried to look at the phone.

"Girl, just..." She paused, now taking her phone back. You watched in anticipation as Diana looked at the screen. She seemed to be looking at it for a while before she started typing back.

"Wait, what are you doing?" You asked, trying to lounge for the phone, but Diana moved it away from your reach. She rolled over to the other side of the bed, pulling the covers on top of her as you tried to get her phone back.

After a good minute of not knowing what Diana was saying, Diana poked her head out of the blanket and set her phone down next to you before flopping back on her bed entirely, turning to the side and closing her eyes.

"There. Now he can bother you." She mumbled, before going back to her sleep.

"What do you mean?" You picked up her phone and stared at the screen, feeling shocked as soon as you saw Diana's reply.

hiii we're doing good thanks!!

awww she told me you reminded her of a guy named ryan in high school but didn't know if it was the same guy!

she doesn't have insta but here's her number if you wanna text her! shed like to catch up!

btw congrats on your success!! Definitely following you on tiktok!! :)))

Oh. My. Gosh.

You didn't know why you kept staring at the messages, as if something new would jump up. No, this was it. This was what your sister sent. And now it was directly sent to Ryan without any way you could moderate it.

There was so much to address. Diana told Ryan what you said about how this guy in whole foods reminded you of him. That was embarassing.

She ALSO gave him your number. Now what????????

You decided to place Diana's phone back on her bed and sat up. You had to keep going through the day. What was sent is now sent and there was nothing you could do about it. He had your number now. If he wanted to text you, well...your phone was right there.

So you left the house and went to the breakfast cafe with a lot of anticipation on your mind.

~~~~~

Thank you for reading!! <33

[half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk]

Louk's Bad Batch rewatch part 23 !!!

I'm back batchers rip my sleep schedule lmao but nothing can stop me from watching tbb

I've got my skittles and my tumblr and disney+ and I'm ready to go 🤟

The Bad Batch 2x03

this entire planet looks like it's made of spice

nervous imperial you're not fooling anyone my dude

Tawni Ames 👑 shoutout to the queen herself Tasia Valenza 💕

CORUSCANT !!!

CROSSHAIR 🥺🥲😭💕❤ I missed you sm (I watched s1 hours ago 🤫)

another Kallus parallel 👀

regs will always hate tbb lololol

Rampart 🔫😁(me, I hate his guts)

32 rotations... 32 ROTATIONS I- 😫

the empire are bitches and we don't negotiate with terrorists

the memorial wall 🥲 (we're gonna pretend it isn't a bunch of random letters hehe)

a few behind Crosshair literally say: sdflkphi, dkniihqaz, aweututn, qqhgouer ~ anyone know more aurebesh than me who can explain this pls ??

he called him by his name !!!

CODY CODY CODY CODY 💕💕💕💕👑👑👑👑

Cody's face when Crosshair mentions the jedi 😭

the only two without their helmets on !!!

FLASHBACK TO THE FIRST BAD BATCH APPEARANCE IN TCW 👀

"mmhmmmm" ~ battle droid, bro 💀

"Dooku was right in the end" real

"We always get shot down when we travel with regs" 👀

"How unfortunate... for you" ~ someone else said this and now I can't find it 🙃 anyway I'm pretty sure it was Crosshair idk

the droid high five lmaooo

clever boys 👑

Crosshair and Cody team up will never fail to make me happy 👌

"I've beaten clankers with far less" tbb mention 🥲💕

Cody trusting Crosshair 🥰 "you do make things interesting" I'd love to see early Cody + tbb missions pretty pretty please 🥺

my mans doesn't even flinch !!!!!

I can feel his smirk when he blows up the tank hehe

Cody has a jetpack and still went nah Ican make that jump 😂 I mean he did but still

Cody complimenting Crosshair 💕

WYLER AND NOVA OWN MY HEART FR

droidekas !!!

Wyler r.i.p my love 💔

There is just something about clones vs droids ya know

Crosshair and Nova silent communication I love it 👌

Cody screaming for Nova and Crosshair pulling him away 😭😭😭😭

r.i.p Nova my beloved 💔

Crosshair's discs !!!!

backflip !!!!

knife knife knife knife knife- 👀

Crosshair calling for Cody to help 🙃

KNIFE KNIFE KNIFE KNIFE KNIFE-

Crosshair putting the puck in Cody's hand - bro at first I thought mans was too injured to move the way he was like 'throw it for me I can do it from laying down in this spiral staircase' and he makes the shot and stands up 2 seconds later and is back to committing war crimes ?? Crosshair you dramatic bitch 💀

"nice throw" "nice shot" 🥰🥰🥰🥰

notice how the tk troopers got captured so they send clones to get them out.... 🙃

Mina Bonteri 💔

"peace was never an option" devastating

the clone music when Cody reasons with Tawni 😫🤧

Crosshair following orders but also saving Cody from having to kill Tawni

the Crosshair music 🥲

"so much for peace" 💔

"put her body in the square" but I can imagine how gentle he would have been with her body... do you think he left his helmet off so the people could see his face or did he cover his face for that

Ok I want to go full english teacher for a moment I'll do it in a few eps watch this space 👀

Crossy and his lil toothpick 💕 (he just murdered someone)

the clones did the dirty work now more tk troopers arrive 😡

Cody's whole speech 💔😭 "we make our own choices and we have to live with them too" knowing he's thinking about everything he's done and thinking he killed Obi-Wan... what if I screamed into the abyss ???

Crosshair not being able to sleep 😫

Rampart doesn't even know their names 😡

OKAY do we think "gone awol" means Cody has actually left or is he awol the same way Wilco is??

COME ON CROSSHAIR JUST LEAVE THE EMPIRE ALREADY 😫

hehe thank you for coming to my 2am tbb rewatch (again hehe) 💕 sorry it's late again if you saw any spelling miatakes no you didn't 🤟