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The difference between sin and continuous sin

Two people were eating poison, and I came up to them giving them a warning. I say, "stop, do not eat that poison, fo you will surely die". One obeys and heads the warning, turning from the poison and throwing it away, while the other refuses and continues to eat it. The one who disobeyed dies and the other lives. This is like sin. All sins are forgivable for Christ, (except for blasphemy if the holy spirit as well as recieving the mark of the beast) so both had equal opportunity to live. But if you refuse to listen, you will surely fall.

This is the case with many things. Porn, cheating, murder, abuse, drinking, lying, sexual immorality, and yes, whether we like it or not, that includes LGBTQ+ activity. It is a choice made everyday and if continued until the day of judgement or, you know, when we die, it's too late as there was no repentance. But the one who sinned and turns from it with a watchful eye, no matter how many times they fall short, as long as they truthfully give it their all to turn from their sins and toward Jesus, they will be accepted into heaven.

So throw the posion out and be the one who lives

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God doesn't send people to hell. God is like light and hell is like darkness. Darkness is nothing but the absence of light, and hell is just the absence of God. When you refuse to accept God into your life and accept His promises and gifts, then you choose to be seperate from Him. Hell is a seperation from God. It wasn't even meant for you, it was meant for the devil and his followers, the ones who dared cross God and attempt to bring His children with them. So, He doesn't send you there, you send yourself by not choosing life.

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If you don't believe in the bible because it's man made, you shouldn't believe Ceaser was real because so was the history books showing his existance.

If you don't believe in God because you can't touch, see, smell, taste, or feel him, then you shouldn't believe in Gravity because you can't touch, see, smell, taste, or feel that either.

If you don't believe in Jesus because you think having faith in a God you haven't "met" is blind idiocy, then you shouldn't believe the astroid belt exists because that'd be having faith in something you've only seen in diagrams, pictures, and books, all of which were given to you by man.

As my teacher had once taught me, hard evidence is great, but soft evidence is just as valid.

There are testimonies, miracles, healed and saved people roaming the world. All of them have a reason for following God, and if you find a true christian, you'll be in awe everytime you hear their discoveries. They don't believe because they saw it in a book or because mama told them so, but because they've met Christ in a way He wanted to reveal Himself to them. One day, if you honestly ask Him to show Himself to you and you listen, you could have a testimony of your own.

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Following God can be tiring. It won't always be cupcakes and rainbows. Don't get me wrong, there will be trials and tribulations, prayers you have to wait for, hurt that will feel like healing is impossible for, wickedness that will sometimes prevail, and blessings that don't always seem like blessings. But that isn't what I'm talking about when I say it's tiring. When everything is good. When everything is going your way. When everything seems to be in your favor. Praising God is hard. In fact, sometimes it can be harder than if it wasn't. You feel dry in your faith, thanking Him for the same blessing everyday like some kind of routine. You're tempted to go have fun doing anything other than spending time with him. You forget the goodness in his blessings and only see repetetiveness. Following God is hard. But keep going. He hasn't given up on you and He never will. God will never leave nor forsake you. Love you, bye ♡

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Please. Please. Please. Just try it. Just try to pray. Just once. Just try Jesus. Please. Just once. Don't wait until tommorow. Don't wait until you have nothing but Him to lean on. Don't wait until final judgment. Because Jesus didn't die only for you to live with Him when you die, but to live with Him in the now, today. Every second you wait is a second you sit in darkness when you could be sitting in light. Every moment you get more comfortable in your sin, the harder it will be when you come out. I say this not to condemn, nor to judge, nor to force anything, but out of true love for you. I don't know you. I don't know what you've done. But what I do know is it doesn't matter, because Jesus made you, and He wants you. I also know what it's like to finally know Him, and I wouldn't want anyone to miss this. For 15 years I've missed out on this, and I don't want you missing even a second more of this. So just trust Him. With whatever you have, with all your addictions, with all your worries, with all your possessions, with all your blessings, with all your being. Because He will never fail.

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I have a mouse plushie, y'know, the Mouse Wants a Cookie plush, hanging over my bed. I wrapped yarn around its neck, stitched it through its throat, and bound its arms behind his back, then tied him to the top of my window to hang over my bed as a sign of my hatred and wrath. I was 15 when I did this. I had a mental breakdown and thank God I didn't give in to the devil's whispers to kill myself and take my mom with me. I had struggled with suicidal thoughts before, around 7 to 8 years old, and my relationship with, honestly everyone, especially my mom did not help. I felt very misunderstood, weird, wrong, unwanted, and like I was a mistake, something not deserving of the title human because I lacked something, that something in question nobody would tell me about. I prayed only when I was asking to die, I cried at night, had episodes of depression, had spent a year or so forcing myself to never cry and denying myself the right to feel sad, bottled up all my emotions and confusion for my whole life, never had an outlet, and my only coping mechanism was to watch funny videos on youtube.

That was me. Not even a full year ago.

Ever since I accepted Jesus into my life and just surrendered it all to him, I've never had that rage since. I haven't cried at night, or had depressive episodes, or suicidal thoughts, and I would never want any harm to befall my mom. I feel like if I have feelings of sadness or anger, I can take it to God. I no longer feel inhuman and wrong, but valid and loved. My coping mechanism still inckudes funny videos, but also to pray and ask God for help.

God has protected and saved me in an unfathomable way, and I can testify that He works. I'm not a Christian because I was raised in the church. My whole life until a few months ago, I had never touched a bible, never fasted, never truly prayed, and didn't even care to believe, hoping I could be some magical exception. My parents took us to church, but never explained God's goodness, so we were blind to him, seeing him only as a religous figure we follow by tradition. I can testify to you because my faith is my own, and I am this way only because I have seen Him with my own eyes. Literally. I saw Him. I spoke to Him. I touched Him. I heard Him. Even after literally speaking to God, I didn't give myself to him. It took a year or so for that. I felt a pang one day in my soul that if I were to die that day, I would certaintly go to hell. It was like a punch to the stomach of loneliness. I knew what it was and it couldn't be mistaken for anything else. I was far from God and my soul was lonely for its creator. I had already been blessed in all that I did as a child, but afterward, I saw all his miracles in my life and noticed the good hand that feeds me. I am fullfilled and only in Christ do I feel content. I tried everything. I tried friends, family, social media, new looks, experimenting with my sexuality and orientation, self indulgance, and nothing worked. They were all temporary and made me feel worse in the longrun. Only in Jesus have I found peace even in a storm.

So try Him out! He works miracles, I promise.

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SUCK IT

You know, lately, I've been noticing a lot of "bad" things have happened to me.

I've been constantly worried and stressed at school, I'm on a time crunch to figure out what I'm going to do once I graduate, I've just practically broke my neck, I'm in a lot of pain, I'm in an art block, I'm tired, not just physically though that too, I'm tired of everything and I just want the world to end already so I can go home and be with God, I keep having scary nightmares about dying and having my family killed before my eyes at night, I just had a huge fight with my mom AGAIN because of the same issue we have been struggling with since I was born, the one place I actually feel safe enough to be my natural self without people misunderstanding me and seeing me as weird and loud and stupid and crazy and nonsensical and random and particular and annoying has started to be the place where I am told the most that there is a problem with me, the people I trusted enough to be me with keep telling me I'm not trusting them enough because I'm not morphing myself to fit their wants, the only safe place I ever had is becoming my source of stress and anxiety, I have nobody but God to lean on, and self doubt and only God knows the thoughts I've had and only God is the reason I haven't gone off the wire and done irreversable damage to others or mainly myself.

Things keep happening. I keep getting hurt physically and mentaly. Is this is what people call spirtual warfare? Is this my test? Is this my season as Job? Cuz if so I am ACING it! HAHAHA IF SATAN THOUGHT THAT HURT ME, IT BROUGHT ME CLOSER TO THE SPIRIT. THE LORD IS HEALING MY NECK. THE LORD IS HELPING ME GROW THROUGH ME DREAMS. I KNOW HE CAN AND IS WORKING IN EVERYTHING ELSE. I WILL NOT FALTER, I WILL NOT GIVE IN, I WILL NOT FALL. I DON'T NEED A SAFE PLACE. GOD IS MY SAFE PLACE. I DON'T NEED ANYBODY TO LEAN ON. I HAVE GOD TO LEAN ON. I DON'T NEED UNDERSTANDING. I HAVE GOD TO UNDERSTAND ME. I DON'T NEED ANYBODY TO LIKE OR EVEN LOVE ME. I HAVE GOD TO LOVE ME AND NOT ANY LOVE COULD POSSIBLY COMPARE. SUCK OT SATAN. YOU DUMB GOD WANNABE FLIGHTLESS BURNT STUPID WORTHLESS UNLOVED HATED FAILURE AND EXCUSE OF AN ANGEL. FAILING SEEMS TO BE YOUR THING, IF I WERE YOU, WHICH I'M NOT CUZ I'M A LOVED CHILD OF GOD, I'D SAVE MYSELF THE EMBARRASSMENT AND STOP TRYING TO BE A SALTY BRAT ABOUT MY OWN DUMB AND ILLOGICAL CHOICES. LIKE WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND LOOKS AT GOD. THE GOD. AND SAYS YEAH I COULD TAKE HIM? WHAT, DID YOU SEE HIS OVERWHELMING GOODNESS AND THINK: NAH, I'D WIN? YOU WERE IN HIS PRESENCE. HIS RIGHT HAND DUDE. HIS MUSICIAN. AND YOU COULDN'T GAUGE THAT THIS WAS A FIGHT YOU COULDN'T WIN? SUCK IT.

(Found this rant from a while ago in my drafts and forgot to post it lol so imma post it now even though ive been nothing but blessed)

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These two make me wanna cry

Dog Han hehe

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No, I Do Not Hate People and No I am Not Judging Them

God is my Icon. I aspire to be like him in all I can. That means I dislike sin. That means I am a disagreeable person. That means I express my faith even when I know you don't believe the same thing. But that also means that I love sinners. That also means that I must be humble. That also means that I do not judge. That also means that I love my enemies like myself. And I love myself very much. So no, just because I don't agree with you, doesn't mean I hate or even dislike you. Jesus' favorite people are sinners. And it's not like I havs no sins, so I have no room to judge you. When I point out a sin that offends, I'm not doing it to judge you, in fact, 9/10 I am guilty of the same sin at one point or another. I've lied, cheated, lusted, cursed, liked my own gender, ignored God, been quick to anger, been lazy, still am and I need to fix that, been a glutton, still am and need to fix that too but thank The Lord for high metabolism, disobeyed, been disrespectful, etc, just like the rest of you. So I don't look at an athiest, or a witch, or lgbtq+, or a satanist, or literally anyone and hate or judge them. I look at them, say wow, a person just like me who just hasn't found God for themselves yet. I pray one day they give their life to God, oh cool, they have pretty hair.

Just spreading the love man. If you take it as hate, I'm sorry, but I'm not changing anytime soon, soooo want some popcorn?

So with that said, I will repeat my main point cuz nobody read that I'm sure.

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▪︎ I am a christian and child of God

▪︎ That means I do not approve of sinful activities, no matter how harmless they seem

▪︎ I do not discriminate against unbelievers or sinniers

▪︎ I do not judge unbelievers or sinners

▪︎ I love unbelievers and sinners

▪︎ I AM a sinner (Though in God I am redeemed)

▪︎ I do not think of people any differently regardless of their beliefs

▪︎ I do not treat anybody different no matter their orientation, sexuality, hobbies, beliefs, religoun, etc

▪︎ I am not trying to offend people

▪︎ You can do whatever you want and I respect you and your freedom

▪︎ I love you

▪︎ God loves you

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I love how if a christian simply states that LGBTQ is a sin and against God's will, like not shaming or condeming or insulting the person nor the group, but just not agreeing or engaging in their activities, they are immediently the scum of the Earth and become a Judgy jerk. I also love that if literally anybody mocks and belittles the christian faith and scorns it and it's believers while dragging our traditions, holidays and saviour in the dirt while marketing it as some fat old man with a sack of presents, a dumb mutant bunny that lays eggs, or even using the symbol of peace from our God as their sign of pride, most less out of spite than others I will 100% admit, it's just funny and totally acceptable. Oh wait, no. I don't love it. I hate it. I hate it a lot.

I hate how God is a banned topic of discussion in public.

I hate how we are forced to agree to something people know we cannot support or we are labeled as disgusting.

I hate how saying Jesus loves you is an insult to people.

I hate how christian social persecution is so popular yet so unrecognized because it is a big religoun.

I hate how people always feel the need to throw shade and hate to the majority groups simply because of a past and a minority they possess.

I don't just mean christians, I mean all of them.

I hate how everybody dogs on white people because their ancestors used to be racist.

I hate how they are denied the rights to experience other people's cultures simply because of their skin.

I hate how minority groups sometimes abuse and missuse the hard work of their ancestors by using their skin color as a pass to say and do anything.

I hate how every tiny inconvenience ends with a "because I'm XYZ" when it has nothing to do with XYZ.

I hate that I have to tell people of my OWN race that they should stop being jerks to white people and stop picking fights with them if they want to put weave in their hair.

I hate how people think it's ok to say racist things about white people but when a white person says something to you, it's a problem.

I hate how black people can take on "white" characteristics but when a white person does it it's gross.

I hate how people only see two races when there are so many more.

I hate how it's all about black rep, and I love that I do, but when it takes it too far and now anything not containing a black person in it is discriminatory.

I hate how people expect anime and gaming industries from eastern countries to show black people when the people in the region are majority asian.

I hate how people are ok blackwashing characters but not whitewashing them, or even making them lightskinned.

I hate how people blackwash characters that are ALREADY A MINORITY like in anime because the characters are ASIAN.

I hate how people refuse to give representation to races that aren't black, like Eastern asians, southern asians, island pacificers, hespanics, middle eastern, etc.

I hate how when people say we are in a world where we have started accepting our differences, they are lying.

They are lying because accepting and ignoring are two different things.

Accepting them would be talking about things we don't agree on in regular conversations, welcoming friendly debate, not having to be afraid to say something out of fear of not agreeing with a social norm, not facing social persecution.

Today we do not have that.

Today we ignore our differences.

We avoid religous talk, political talk, saying we dislike a movie everyone else loves, saying we like a genre nobody else likes, hobbies other's could find a little odd like, mentioning family situations, mentioning, disagreeing with social norms, and so much more.

I hate it so much.

And I hate that the world doesn't hate it.

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Me waking up this morning litterally bound to my bed b3cause of crippiling neck cramps and stiffness, resulting in ugly sobs, desperate screams, and frantic praying. Literally was so bad I couldn't face forward. Like I physically could not even put my head at a 3/4ths angle before I was subdued by overwhelming pain that even after going back to the position in which I was bound, would contiune to burn as if I had bitten into a battery. But with my neck.

Also me when I sleep:

Funny thing about this is I started praying and thanking God and then I was just like HAHAHAHAHAAHA JOKES ON YOU DEMON, PAIN ONLY BROUGHT ME CLOSER TO THE LORD. NOT TODAY SATAN while ugly sobbing and clutching my neck :>

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God telling you to surrender isn't selfish or prideful, it's selfless and merciful. If you were in a burning 8 story building, the only way out was the window, and a fireman came to save you, would you struggle as they help you get out? Would you squirm around and kick and flail? Personally, I'd surrender myself to them because I know they want me to live and I know they know how to save me. You can't get out on your own and they know that. They went in to save you, not so they could bring out some popcorn and watch you "save" yourself. So let God help you.

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Remember the days you cried alone? Remember all the pain you went through? Remember all the sorrow and anger? Now for a different set of questions. Do you remember the days you laughed happily? Or the days of perfect comfort and a warm bed? Or the joy and love you felt? Why is it that we hold God so responsible for the first set of questions but not for the latter? He provides all that is good, not all that is suffering. Sometimes I'm so focused on being ok that I don't sit to just see the reality of things. The person who gives me grief and suffering and trauma isn't God. He let's it happen so he can do good things, but He did not do it. It was actually an ugly and stupid snake. The same snake that tried to drag me to hell because he's a salty failure and has no life. The same snake who dare try and decieve me and all of my brothers and sisters. The same snake who if you gave me the chance, I would run a pipe down it's skull and out the other end, place it over a fire, and have a cookout. I hate that snake. But don't hate God because the snake is annoying.

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I love how on the night I actually got to talk to, touch, hear, and see God with my own senses, on the night I was fully concious even while dreaming, and on the night I will never forget the feeling of total peace, the only thing I asked him was what should I do. What should I do to be like you. What should I do to follow you. What do you want from me. I love how I had the answers to the universe, to everything in front of my face and all I asked was what should I do to follow Him. And I know why. Because at the end of the day, that is the only question that really matters. My soul knew what needed to be asked and my soul knew only He had the answer. And He did. He said to me: "That is for you to find out." And I am. I'm still figuring it out. And I want others to figure it out with me.

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Don't be a bad fig tree

I needed to hear this and I think a couple of others need to too.

If you have been born again, then act like what you are. Do not pretend to still be among the dead when you have been brought back to life by Christ. Instead, bring the dead among the living. God cursed the fig tree for decieving Him and making Him believe it had fruit when it really didn't. This is signifying to hypocrites who pretend to be holy despite the clear knowledge of bearing no fruit, works, or even faith. But let us be different. We shall not be that fig tree. Nor shall we be a fig tree that HAS fruit but hides it with the appearance of dead branches so that nobody may eat from them. God blessed us with wisdom and speech for this moment. He blessed YOU with wisdom and enlightenment for this moment. So let us BEAR FRUIT and LOOK like we bear fruit, so we may be medians of the all mighty God and bring others to the truth. God bless us all. :)

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That Fangirl Moment Be Like

Does anyone ever get that feeling when you are fangirling so hard you feel like you might actually cough up your heart or whatever organ is starting to burn from all the squeeling you're doing? Or maybe how you squint your eyes so hard in excitment it feels like they might intertwine and shoot your eyeballs to the back of your skull? Or maybe how you wave your hands so visioucly that they might snap?

This lowkey be me whenever I come across my fav characters, my favorite songs, and most importantly, my favorote God.

I need more Jesus stans so we can fangirl together

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Why have I been venting for the past 4 posts?