#literally in love w your mind tho
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ssongsboo · 3 months ago
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i'm sorry...i guess you wouldn't want me to talk about my domestic bf gunwook thoughts then? like how he'd love taking naps together or how he'd dry your hair for you or take your make up off for you when you're too tired to do it? or how he'd insist on showering together for the environment!! and for shower sex (◕‿◕✿)
-🧸
stop thats so ☹️☹️ like hed really make an effort to show his affection through everyday acts of care i am meltingggg just imagine like a lazy weekend afternoon with him 😖😖 wrapping his arms around you n pulling you into a cozy nap bc taking naps together IS a date!! n the ‘to save water’ excuse for showering together… very efficient very responsible very mindful very HIM tbh i can practically see that goofy ass smile of his that gives his intentions away immediately 😭😭 i feel like after his little eco friendly shower w benefits hed def insist on pulling you into his lap to do your skincare for the night like hes just sO boyfie i cANT I AM SCRATCHING THE PAINT OFF MY WALLS
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shima-draws · 2 years ago
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Okay so let it be known that I haven’t actively played a Sonic game in. Years. The last one that I remember buying was Sonic Boom and we all know how much of a disaster that game was. My only true childhood Sonic game was Sonic Heroes and that’s the only one I’ll replay—otherwise I just stick to watching people lose their minds in let’s play videos.
So uhhh yeah fast forward to me watching Game Grumps play Sonic Frontiers and I was so hooked on the plot and the mechanics that I bought Sonic Frontiers I have been playing Sonic Frontiers for five hours straight it’s so fun so fun SO FUN also look at my daughter I’ve only had her for five minutes but if anything happened to her I would kill everyone in this room and then myself
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago
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I feel like at least several times a month, I have a random insane revitalization of my love for The Smiths. Not that I ever stop loving them, but I'll listen to some song and then suddenly fall into this pit of just deep, intense love for their music again where I can't stop listening to their music on repeat and watching live performances and looking at pics like AAAAAHHHHHH WHY IS THEIR MUSIC SO GOOOD?????? WHY IS IT PERFECT?????? WHY WERE THEY SO GENDER???????
(songs I am feeling intense brainrot over rn in case you're curious: "I Want The One I Can't Have(live)", "Stretch Out and Wait(live)", "You Just Haven't Earned It Yet Baby", "Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others(demo)", "What She Said", "The Boy With The Thorn in His Side(live)"(p.s. I Want The One I Can't Have is Martian-coded to me, pls listen)(also it reminds me of that movie I watched yesterday)
#i want the one i cant have is playing on repeat in my brain rn and i watched a live performance and i was tearing up. why am i like this#the live versions of their songs are just incredibly good like at an insane level to me#i know the guitar is very complicated bcs my brother is equally obsessed w the smiths and rants to me abt how hard their music is to play#so the fact that their live performances are equal if not better than their studio versions is crazy#and i love the way he sings in live versions AAAAHHHH like just so over the top and dramatic#i absolutely love singing along to music and their songs are perfect bcs i can be as dramatic and loud as i want#and that hes singing perfectly and dramatizing it so much also while dancing along to it on stage??????#their music has an energy to it in every single aspect that no other band will ever be able to reach for me#i spent so much of today just dancing along to their music and singing over the top. i just felt so joyful 🥹🥹🥹🥹#GAAAHHHH sorry i just am really in it rn hahaha#its just crazy to me ig that ive listened to these songs so many times and they still fill me with such emotion#my mom sings and dance along w me tho shes like 'wow youre so energetic today did you hit your head or smth' 😭😭😭#also was losing my mind looking at their pictures today and gahhhhhhhhb such gender envy their gender is unmatched to me#but its so funny every time i get gender envy over smiths era morrissey +#because theres some pics of my dad from that same period of time when he was younger where he literally looks exactly like morrissey#SIR WHY DID I NOT INHERIT YOUR LEVEL OF GENDER???????(my dad was a icon sjdkkd we look alike tbh)#anyways: i feel very joyful and energetic about their music. they just make me so happy and i want to dance around again 🥹#i think this recent lapse into the pit was bcs i listened to the demos/live versions on The Queen is Dead deluxe edition#and im like ....how the fuck are they this fucking good??????#hehehe tho my passion has affected others 🤭#my brother is learning some songs on guitar atm and waxes poetic abt their instrumentals#my dad always listens to their entire discography when he needs background music. and my mom sings and dances w me#sorry this is unhinged i just feel a lot of serotonin bcs their music and i need to infect other people LMAO#maybe i need to make another web weave#catie.rambling.txt
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hirokiyuu · 2 years ago
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FOR THE PROMPT anyone of your choice in teenexo + hanahaki au pls pls pls
"Fascinating," says Sym, his fingers curling around the flowers tenderly, pressing a spit-covered petal between them; his eyes are bright with curiosity and pointed down, which means he can't see whatever expression Dys is making. "Is it common, for humans to cough up flowers like this?"
"Uh," says Dys, watching Sym stroke his thumb over a large white petal, and can't find an answer.
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teruthecreator · 2 years ago
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spent all of work watching season 2 of mp100 and livetexting it to hartley and yeahhhh. season 2 is still my favorite season out of all three despite the back-to-back agony of the mogami and separation arcs
#ignorance cloud on#i just love seeing mob develop his own identity and like. genuinely make change! and everyone around him is doing it too#and w the world domination arc its just so fucking cool to see everyone band together and u can literally see With Your Eyes how mob#has impacted all of these people's lives by how they fight and strategize and defend mob#ALSO REIGEN!!!!!!! MY GOD HIS CHARACTER ARC IS SO GOOD IN SEASON 2#end of separation arc literally makes me cry every time#ive watched it twice now and even tho i KNOW whats happening i still cant help but cry#as reigen says 'youve really grown up' FOLLOWED SHORTLY AFTER W MOB CALLING REIGEN A GOOD PERSON#ITS LIKE. UGH. UGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i texted this to hartley in my teary haze but i love that part especially#because for a while i think reigen believed the only way he could securely become Somebody was through fame or infamy#which is why he didnt mind being a shady guy if it meant climbing the socio-economic ladder faster#but even he was getting bored w his own tricks until MOB SHOWED UP#and from that moment forward reigen BECAME somebody. he was somebody to MOB#AND HE WAS MAKING A DIFFERENCE TO MOB#and during the press conference reigen finally realizes like. hes been doing all of this for mob. bc he cares abt mob#and he values mob's opinion above all else bc even under all his tricks he just wanted mob to think he was cool and important#bc he had never felt that before. and then when mob tells reigen hes a good person despite the lies and bullshit reigen REALIZES#THAT HES ALWAYS BEEN SOMEBODY. HE NEVER NEEDED FAME OR MONEY OR INFAMY OR ANYTHING#BC AS MUCH AS HE'S BEEN AFFECTED BY MOB. MOB HAS BEEN AFFECTED BY HIM#WHICH MEANS HE HAS IMPORTANCE AND HE'S MADE GREAT CHANGE AND IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE GLOBAL#IT CAN JUST BE THE CHANGE HE MAKES IN HIMSELF. AND TO SOMEONE ELSE.#AND THATS TRULY THE MOMENT I THINK LIKE. EVERYTHIGN CONNECTS#AND REIGEN REALIZES HE CANT LIVE HIS LIFE WITHOUT HIS LITTLE SIDEKICK AND HES SO PROUD AND#AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH REIGEN ARATAKA FATHER OF THE YEAR....#anyway. ahem. if i had to rank seasons from favorite to least favorite itd be: 2 1 3
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enhaeil · 1 month ago
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dominant boyfriend jay...!!!!
c/w: suggestive no smut tho. non sexual dominance >>
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masterlist
jay who pays for everything. matter fact, you don't even have to ask for it. if he even sees you glance at something, "you like it?" as he pulls his card out his wallet. and he'll watch you pay for whatever you want with that signature smirk on his face, too. you're hungry? "baby, let's go out somewhere." he pulled your wig a little too hard last night? he'll laugh while pulling out 300 to get your hair redone. you literally will NEVER go without as long as you're with him.
jay who knows how to put you in your place. he knows you won't always be happy with him or a decision he makes. he also knows that sometimes you pick arguments for absolutely no reason. "baby, why are you arguing with me?" he says, face stoic yet tired looking due to his long day. you have had an attitude since he picked you up and decided to start with him in the car. "don't be a brat, y/n. if there's a real issue, then you tell me." you sat there for a few seconds while he stared at you, and realized there was never an issue to begin with. "okay then." if you still insist on the 'tude after he talks with you, trust he's taking you in that front seat. that's all you really wanted anyways!
jay who knows how to apologize when there is a real issue. he holds eye contact with you the whole time you tearfully explain your problems and doesn't hesistate on pulling you into his lap for some comfort. "i'm sorry baby, I wouldn't have done that if I knew it'd upset you." he rubs your back, finger tips slipping under your shirt in an innocent way. he presses soft kisses on the side of your head, breathing in the scent of your hair. "what can I do to make it up to you, hm? my pretty girl.."
jay who almost knows you better than you know yourself. he knows when you don't feel well. he knows when you're in a bad mood. he knows when you're sleepy, when you're feeling hyper. he knows when your period starts, already returning home with snacks he knows you'll crave. he knows when you want to be held, and respects the times where he knows you want space. he knows when you want to be touched, and even better, knows how to touch you. "right there baby? is that your spot? you feel good?" chile, you can't even BEGIN to respond because your mind is clouded with just him. you don't know how he knows, but you're glad he does.
jay who still respects your independence. jay knows you're a grown woman. he knows you love to do things by yourself, it makes him fall even more in love with you. he doesn't try to control you, or think for you. he doesn't even make you call him daddy (unless he's in your guts). he lets you wear whatever you want because "as long as you come home to me at the end of the day." he even will let you pay for your own items sometimes just to make you happy, but don't ever think he won't send you 200 for your nails the moment you say "the".
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a/n: i think abt this a lot y'all jay would such a good bf. uhm jays gf if ur seeing this hey
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dilfl0v3rss · 6 months ago
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smart mouth
"you know better, but still choose to end up like this" with the last word of his sentence ony made sure to feed each and every inch of him down your throat, spit trickling down your chin as you gagged around his wide dick. your panties were soaked with your arousal, big brown eyes filled with hot, wet tears as you kept your sights on him alone. "gotta smart ass mouth on you, but daddy gon fix that real quick, aint he mama?" he said, his deep voice causing his chest to rumble as he continued moving your head back and forth onto him. he gave you a couple more strokes before pulling your mouth off of him completely, smirking as he watched you intake as much air as you could before exhaling over and over again, your lungs in a hurry to get familiar with the air its been denied.
you nodded at his previous question, giving him a mindless 'mhm' before moving hungrily towards is dick in efforts to reconnect the two of you, but ony was quick to stop you. he wrapped an inked hand into your hair, pulling your head back as he stared down at you condescendingly. "such a greedy girl, i got sum for you tho c'mere" his other hand found your throat, pulling your face up towards his until you were standing right in front of him before he pushed you flat on the bed. each of your thighs grabbed by dark, tatted hands as he pushed your legs towards your chest. the fabric of your panties began to tighten the closer your knees got to your face, giving ony the perfect view of your pussy through your bright pink thong.
he freed one of your thighs, lightly teasing your clit through your underwear with his thumb to draw those pretty moans he loved so much from your lips. "sound so sexy, makes me forget how dirty y'mouth could be." you ignored his words, eyes rolling to the back of your head as your body fought with ony's other hand to arch off of the bed. of course you were of no success, bottom half practically glued to the bed by the strength of ony's one hand on your thigh. just the thought of it made you want him even more, your hands moving towards his abdomen to caress the inked skin. "unt uh mama no hands today, you been bad remember?" oh yea, this is a punishment. you're not sure how the thought slipped you or even what you did to end up here, but it was far too late to try to plead with him now.
you obediently moved your hand away, putting each of them over your head where they claimed a tight grip on the sheets. ony nodded at your compliance, seeing it as progress. his hand reclaimed its spot on your other thigh, pushing it down towards your chest as well before he slowly moved his dick towards your clothed heat, lightly rubbing his length up and down your center. you moaned at the contact, your grip on the sheets tightening as you chanted his name over and over. "i know ma." he continued his movements, moving a little rougher at times to keep you on edge, you were losing your mind under him. "p-papa please" you whined, his firm grip on your thighs still giving you no way to move to get any more than what he's giving you.
ony could tell what you wanted just by the look in your eyes, a devilish smirk spreading towards his lips as he played dumb. he tilted his head up towards you with a deep 'hmm'. "w-want you inside" you were in no position to make demands right now given that he was upset with you and literally had you pressed down into the mattress, but you thought it'd be worth a try. "want me in your tummy?" his voice was full of faux sympathy and you knew it, but your desperation outweighed your common sense, so you begged. "yes please please please daddy. want you t'fuck me now" ony chuckled at your neediness, rubbing even harder into you before bringing his lips down towards your neck. he completely ignored what you said as he sloppily kissed down your body, leaving small bites in some places until he were face to face with your clothed pussy. "m'not fuckin you t'night princess"
the whine you let out was less than a second before ony gave you a sharp tap to your heat, the wet patch in the fabric only growing as he left small kisses on your clit right after, stroking himself slowly as he teased you. the difference in affection made your head spin as you watching him slowly outstretch his tongue towards where he knew your entrance was, dark brown eyes staying trained on yours as he slowly dragged the muscle up up your center before sloppily eating you out through your panties. his tongue moved skillfully over the fabric, still licking and sucking you to the point where your legs shook. "fuck baby" you moaned into the air, back arching off the bed as you tried to grind your pussy onto his tongue. ony didn't give you the chance to, moving back just enough so you were met with nothing but air. a chuckle escaped his lips as he watched you huff and puff above him.
ony abruptly stood up in front of you, his hand still wrapped firmly around his dick as he stroked himself slowly above you. each of his groans only made you wetter as you watching him pleasure himself to the sight of you. "you so pretty ma, jus need you t'act right" your eyes followed his hand, his pace slow and steady. you were so desperate for him, but you knew not to move again since it was likely that he'll cuff you this time. "i-i will daddy, promise" his groans made you want him more and more, his broad chest rising and falling steadily as he looked at you needily. "gon stop talking back t'me n start being the good girl you know i want you to be?" he stroked himself faster, moving his thumb down towards your clit where he began to rub in quick, small circles. you moaned into the air, legs acquiring a slight shake as you nodded along to his words. "y-yes! whatever you want pa, p-promise t'be better" your release was approaching quickly and he knew that, moving his thumb faster to push you closer to the edge. you could tell he was close as well, his hand moving at a quick pace as his hips bucked every so often. at this rate he was going to make the both of you come at the same time, his hands working wonders for the both of you as he pushed you to the brink of your release. "okay, i hear you baby" a relieved sigh left your lips but that relief didn't last long. at the same time you noticed that ony was no longer pleasuring you. his other had was by his side as he alone met his release.
"but when i actually start seeing that attitude change then ill touch you how i know you want me to."
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niningtori · 14 days ago
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the way we were before | oneshot
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pairing: choi beomgyu x you
summary: you've been in love with beomgyu for as long as you've known him. deep down, you've always thought that he loved you, too; so when he tells you that he's engaged to another woman, you decide to break it all off after a nasty fight in which he shows you just how little you mean to him. a life-ending accident seems to put your feelings to rest, for good. just when you think it's all over, however, you awaken to a time before everything fell apart; and you're determined not to repeat the same mistakes. it's just that beomgyu can't seem to let you go.
genre: ANGST (literally so much angst it's not even funny), romance, second chancelau, rebirthlau, she falls first but he falls harder, possessive!beomgyu
warnings: mcd (and rebirth), somewhat graphic depictions of death/a corpse, suicidal thoughts, you can interpret a scene at the end as somewhat suggestive but not really
word count: 12.7k
notes: this work contains a lot of angst... and that's coming from ME. this might be too sad to the point of being corny but luckily i was born on the cob. don't be mean to me tho i'm going thru it rn. feedback also means the world 2 me <3
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some things are a matter of course. for example, when you were initially paired with beomgyu for a project in your senior year of college, it was a matter of course to fall in love with him. supporting him morally and emotionally while he struggled throughout the rest of the year and well into his adult career? well, that was a matter of course, too. being with him every day, spending every spare second you had with the intention to make him happy, and giving up any concept of self-preservation in exchange for even a morsel of his affection? the answer doesn’t even need to be said. through it all, you’ve suspected that all of the intimacy that you’ve nurtured will inevitably end up with you two being together, of course. 
you haven’t done any of it for the outcome. truly, you haven't. you make him happy simply because it makes you happy just to see him shine. he’s always been such a bright, sunny boy, and it’s always been enough just to be the one who helps maintain his true personality. it absolutely kills you to see him hurting, so it isn’t unusual to drop everything, be it work or social events, just to give him advice, give him comfort, or even just give him company. while he certainly doesn't show his affection towards you as profusely as you do to him, you know he cares about you. you can see it in the way he notices the little things about you, and in the way he listens to you with full attentiveness, even when you have nothing particularly interesting to tell him. when everyone talks over you, he tells you that he wants to hear what you have to say. and that’s enough.  
with all of this in mind, you jump at his invitation to hang out at his apartment. he’s been a little distracted lately, cancelling plans together for reasons unknown. it’s been odd, to be sure, but you know he’ll tell you whatever’s been bothering him soon enough. he always does. you greet him with takeout from his favorite restaurant in tow as a surprise, and he takes it with that smile you love so damn much. he looks a little nervous, but happy, mostly, and you don’t have to wait for very long before he clears his throat and announces that he has something important to tell you.
you try not to get your hopes up, but who can blame you for feeling a hint of anticipation? maybe he’ll finally confess his feelings to you. maybe that’s why he’s been a little weird. naturally, since your mind is racing so much with romantic hypotheticals, of course it comes as a shock to you that he simply says, “i’m getting married.”
beomgyu, notorious for never even having the time nor interest to date around, is not only dating, but engaged. your jaw drops when he tells you that it all happened so quickly, he doesn’t even know how it unfolded. all he knows is that once he met her, a whirlwind romance swept him up, and just a few months have been more than enough for him to know that she’s the one. in fact, as he so fondly declares, he knew it from the very first moment he saw her at the dinner between the company you two work for and her own. the one where you were his “date”. you knew that it wasn’t a real proclamation of love or affection for him to ask you to accompany him, but you can’t say that you weren’t beaming with pride and validation at you being his natural choice. when you arrived at the dinner, you remember some of your coworkers jokingly whispering to you to just make it official already. you spent the night mostly by his side, looking up at him in admiration and love. as it turns out, the time you spent fawning over him was equally spent with him falling in love at first sight with another woman. you weren’t even apart for very long, but apparently he met her when you two broke apart to mingle. 
it’s a kick in the chest, to put it bluntly. you feel the wind being knocked out of your lungs, and you’re struggling to breathe. the first time you caught a glimpse of him, you knew that any attempts to stop yourself from falling in love with him were hopeless. his smile, his charm, his playfulness immediately had you enraptured. you’ve always, always known that he didn't have a similar experience with you, but you just assumed that he simply isn’t the type to be caught up in such childish romanticism. you've always loved him outwardly and persistently, and you've shown him that in every single way you possibly know how. you dared to hope that maybe he was just the type to quietly reciprocate. obviously, with how emphatically he’s professing his love for another woman, you were very, very wrong.
“what's the matter? aren't you happy for me?” you struggle to answer, but he continues as if he doesn’t notice. “you know, i was thinking you could be, like, my best man. i've seen people do it these days—you'd pretty much be my best woman. i really want you to do it. there's no one else i can think of to—well, actually, there's soobin, but you’re my—”
“beomgyu,” you sharply interrupt, wetness pooling in your waterlines. beomgyu may be a little emotionally slow, but he’s not stupid. you know he knows that you've had feelings for him since forever ago. while it hurts, the fact of them being unrequited isn't what really gets you; it’s the fact that he doesn’t have the decency to just tell the truth. he took advantage of your love for him, always calling for you when he needed you, without ever really doing the same for you. “what… what about us?” 
“what about us? you’re my best friend, and i want you to be part of my wedding,” he says smoothly, but you level him with a watery stare. as if realization finally dawns on him, he replies in a way you sincerely did not anticipate.
“c’mon, you know i don’t see you like that,” he chuckles with a wave of his hand, and you really would’ve rathered him say literally anything else. you’d prefer it if he had just punched you in the stomach, actually, because that would feel considerably better than this… this humiliation. you’re silent for a moment before you feel the tears you’ve been struggling to keep in cascade down your face. to his credit, he has the decency to look uncomfortable, and his playful smile drops. before he can reply, however, you speak again.
“you knew how i felt about you this whole fucking time, you were just too much of a coward to be honest with me,“ you declare. “if… if you had just told me, i would’ve understood. i-i would've—you didn't have to do it this way.”
“listen, i’m sorry that you’re hurt, but i really didn’t mean—” 
“are you really sorry that i’m hurt, or are you sorry that i showed you i’m hurt?” you cut in. “beomgyu, you don’t care about how i feel, just as long as you don’t have to be the one to deal with it.” 
“i’m—you're being unfair. i didn't want to hurt your feelings, i just wanted us to stay friends. what's so bad about that? don't you want that?” he seems genuinely puzzled, as if he can't wrap his head around why you'd ever be indignant at the fact that he stayed friends with you mainly for his own comfort.
“jesus christ, beomgyu! a real friend would never do this. you kept me around so i’d keep helping you with work, with life, with what the fuck ever. why can't you just be honest, after all this time? just don’t lie,” you spit.
“i'm not lying! you've helped me a lot, and i'm grateful for that, but you can't expect me to just owe you my feelings,” he snaps.
“that's not what this is about, and you know it,” you tremblingly reply, dignity cut right to the bone.
“seriously? that's exactly what this is about. you're the altruistic angel who does nothing wrong, and i'm just a fucking scumbag who takes advantage of you, right? well, i'm sorry, but it's not my fault that you're acting so goddamn crazy over something so stupid.” your eyes burn with an intensity so great, it feels like they're being seared out of your skull. in this moment, you realize that he will never, ever respect you enough to consider you worthy of being leveled with. he doesn't think you're even worth the time. you're his silly, lovesick best friend who's absolutely delusional to the point of being laughable for suggesting that he actually take you seriously, for once. and that revelation breaks you like nothing else.
you won’t do this anymore. you couldn’t even if you wanted to, and you don’t. 
“i never want to see you again,” you sob, and while it may seem juvenile to say, you truly mean it. before you can hear beomgyu reply, you dash out of the building and to your car. 
everything is a blur when you peel out of the parking lot and onto the road. your eyes are pouring out thick, hot tears, and you try your best to swipe them away as soon as they come, but it’s difficult when they’re seemingly endless. you don’t even attempt to hold in your sobs—they’re far too deep and frequent for that. if someone were to glance at you through their window, they’d think you were absolutely insane. and maybe you are, you don’t know. maybe you’re insane for thinking that things could’ve ever been any different. maybe you were just imagining everything that seemed like confirmation that he loved you back. maybe it was all a delusion because you wanted it so fucking badly. and maybe that’s your fault.
but did he really have to crush you like this? he knew you were in in love with him. he knew you were waiting for him. he knew what he meant to you. why couldn’t he have just been honest instead of stringing you along? to ask for him to return your feelings would’ve been too much, you've always understood that to be the case; but even to the bitter end, he’ll call you crazy before he tells you the truth. 
you try to keep yourself focused, but everything’s a blur with your eyes bleary with a film of tears. you have half a mind to just pull over and have a meltdown on the side of the road, but before you can do that, you hear your phone ringing. you pick it up in a frenzy, silently hoping that it’s beomgyu with an apology, but the number is unknown. you don’t even have time to feel disappointed before you look up and see that you’re barrelling past a red light. in a panic, you realize that you’re about to crash headfirst into another car. you swerve your steering wheel as hard as you can, seemingly avoiding danger, but the sight of a tree coming closer and closer into your vision paralyzes you with fear. you try to brake, but you’re going too quickly for it to be of any use. 
the collision is bone-shattering in the literal sense. you’d think you’d feel adrenaline alone in such a situation, but you can feel pain bursting out of every cell of your body as you still after being thrown back and forth in your seat. every organ, every bone, feels like it’s just been crushed, and not for the first time today, you’re struggling to breathe. 
as you slip out of consciousness, one immovable thought resounds in your head: i wish i'd never met him.
-
the sound of your alarm ringing pulls you out of the darkness. your eyes shoot open and you sit straight up in pure shock. while you pant—just trying to catch your breath—you grab your chest, clutching at your shirt as you feel your heart drumming erratically. did you survive? you scramble out of your bed and look in the mirror. there’s nothing on your face. no fresh wounds, bruises, no scars from what just happened. that can’t be right. you know you were torn up from the collision, and there’s no earthly way you came out of it unscathed. was it a dream? it can’t be; you can still feel the phantom of pain on every inch of you, even when there’s no indication of any material harm. you remember every second you spent before and after wrapping yourself around that tree. does that mean you’re dead? are you in the afterlife? 
that doesn’t seem right, either. you don’t know much about what the afterlife is supposed to be like, if there’s even one at all, but this feels too real and familiar. you reach for your phone, with its alarm still blaring, and as you hit snooze, you notice the date. it’s just a few months before… before everything happened. did you go back in time? is that even possible? you try to reconcile yourself with that fact for a long, long time. so long, in fact, that you don't even realize you're supposed to be heading to work until it's five minutes after you're supposed to be there. 
as if on cue, your phone rings with your boss’ contact displayed on the screen.
“hello,” he says as casually as anyone ever can. this just solidifies the idea that your accident must never have happened, because if it had, he certainly wouldn’t be greeting you as if it’s just another day. 
“h-hey,” you attempt to reply, and your voice is so choked and thick with emotion, he can hear how badly you’re struggling to speak at all. 
“is everything alright?” he asks, concern laced in his tone. that’s enough to make you break, and before you can stop it, you’re outright sobbing into the phone. 
“i’m—i just—i don’t think i can come in today.” you fumble for an excuse, but it’s difficult to think straight as you feel your mind breaking down. “i, um, i—” 
“hey, it’s okay. you can take the day off, alright? don’t worry about anything, just focus on feeling better.” his words, so comforting in nature, do nothing but make you cry even harder. it feels nice to be cared for like this. if you had the coherence to think so, you’d wonder how baffled he must be at your behavior. luckily, you’re far too gone to care. you think you end up stammering out something similar to a thank you, but you’re not quite sure. either way, the call ends, and you collapse onto your bed. you curl yourself up and tuck your knees to your chest as you grip yourself as tightly as you can. this is real. you’ve gone back. thank god, you’ve gone back. 
you cry and cry until no more tears will come out, and while you try to keep yourself awake as the hours pass by, the relief you feel coalesces with the enticing nature of your soft bed, so you can't help but drift off. it’s different from the way you drifted off mere hours ago. it’s a lot warmer and kinder, and you're so, so fucking tired, you don’t even want to fight it anymore. 
a knock on your door wakes you from your sleep. it’s a good thing, too, because you were having a nightmare. rejection, devastation, primal fear, mind-numbing pain, then total darkness repeated incessantly in your head for hours on end. you swipe away your tears, but they continue to flow as you practically drag yourself to your door. you’re so disoriented, you don’t even think to check to see who it is before opening it. what a mistake that turns out to be.
“hey! whoa—are you okay?” he asks, and who else could it be besides beomgyu? your heart pounds in your chest, and even more tears stream down your face as you let out a sob. his mouth contorts into a frown. his face, previously so endearing to you, makes you feel absolutely repulsed. you lost everything for the figure standing before you, and he has the nerve to ask you if you’re okay. a fire is ignited in your stomach, and you feel yourself on the precipice of carnal rage. while you’re trying to suppress that feeling, he speaks again. 
“i heard you called in, so i thought i’d check on you. do you have a fever?” he questions, reaching out his hand to check your forehead for abnormal warmth. without even thinking about it, you smack his hand away.
“don’t touch me,” you all but growl, but beomgyu is undeterred. 
“what’s the matter? i don’t care if you get me sick; i could use the time off,” he teases with a grin, but your face remains twisted up in pure anger. 
“get out,” you mumble between clenched teeth.
“what?” he asks, and it's unclear if that's because he's confused, or because he simply didn't hear you. either way, you don't care.
“get out,” you repeat, louder this time, but not lacking any of the previous anger. your erratic behavior is enough to finally irritate beomgyu. 
“fine, whatever. forget i even bothered,” he scoffs as he stalks out of the door. you slam it behind him before falling to the floor. this is your chance. you came back too late to avoid ever meeting him again, but it’s still good enough for you. from now on, you two will live completely separate lives spent being nothing to each other. owing nothing to each other. again, you find yourself sobbing in relief. 
-
when you return to work the next day, the first thing you do is head to your boss’ office. he looks relieved to see you for a moment before he notices the envelope in your hand. with the way his smile drops, you know he immediately knows what it is. 
“what’s that?” he asks, though the tension in the air is more than enough confirmation that he has no doubts about what the letter reads.
“my resignation,” you tell him. 
“may i ask what this is about?” he probes. no, he can’t, because even if you told him, he’d never believe you.  
“i just don’t think this position is right for me,” you deadpan, and the look on his face shows that he doesn’t really buy it.
“you’ve worked so hard for so long, and you want to give up now?” he has a point. your company is on the brink of a major deal with another company, which will result in a financial breakthrough like none other, if successful. as fate would have it, said company is the one in which beomgyu’s future wife works, and the dinner where the two of them met is the celebratory party for such success. you’d laugh at the circumstances if you could. “whatever the issue is, we can work it out. just don’t leave before we do this. we need you, and even if you want to leave after we close the deal, you’ll still be rewarded for everything you’ve done. don’t you want to see that happen?” you do. you really, really do. you’ve given so much of yourself for this opportunity, and you really want to see it work out. you guess, in a way, you already have seen it; but if you leave now, that’ll never happen. this particular project needs you to get off of its feet.
but can you really stand to see beomgyu for a second longer? have his mere presence fuck with your head? is it even worth it? you’re about to declare that it most certainly is not, but you stop yourself. the money will be good for you to start a new life. maybe you’ll move buildings, maybe even to a new city, maybe across the country, who knows? you’ll be more than comfortable with this potential payout, and then you can start a new life somewhere where you know nobody, and nobody knows you. 
“i want a new partner, at least,” you counter, and his face morphs into a grimace. he’s undoubtedly confused at your sudden aversion towards beomgyu, but he doesn't mention it to you. 
“that’ll be difficult. i need you both for this to work.” you’re about to flatout deny him, but he continues. “if you can just make it through this, i promise that you can go wherever you want to go, and i’ll even give you a bonus for your trouble. deal?” you purse your lips as you mull it over. if you can suffer through being partners with beomgyu, your move will be considerably easier. still, you’re undecided before you have an epiphany: in just a few months, beomgyu will meet his future wife and fall head over heels in love with her. all you have to do is ignore him until then, and he’ll inevitably leave you alone once he meets her. so what if beomgyu’s here? you don’t want to care about him anymore. and once everything’s settled, you’ll pack your life away and start somewhere without the bad memories. 
“okay,” you reply, and his face breaks out into a grin. 
-
beomgyu is very visibly ruffled today, which you would immediately notice if you just spared him a glance, but you do no such thing. your lack of attention towards him serves to only rile him up even further. he wants to be stubborn—act out until you apologize to him, but once he realizes you have no intention of doing so, he finally relents and approaches you.
“hey,” he says coolly, still a little annoyed, but prepared to forgive you. you look up at him blankly, and he’s unsettled by just how empty your eyes look, so he nervously asks you, “are you… are you feeling better?” you look at him as if he just spouted the most asinine question of all time, and for the first time ever, he feels small under your gaze. he shifts awkwardly on his feet before you break the silence. 
“i’m fine,” you tell him. he waits for you to ask him how he is, but the words never come. in fact, you turn away and bury your nose in your work as if he’s not standing there, waiting dumbly for you to respond as you usually would. well, whatever. you’ll have to talk to him, eventually. especially since you two are working on such a big project. 
you don’t really talk to him, though, aside from what’s absolutely necessary. for most of the day, you silently slide papers over to him without even deigning to look at him while you do it. when you do have to speak to him, your words are cold and detached, as if even speaking to him is a chore. it’s like you’re looking past him, almost. like you don’t even really see him, and he’s never felt as unsettled by a gaze in his life. 
at lunch, you quietly remain at your desk instead of joining beomgyu like you usually would, and you can't quite bring yourself to eat. you just feel sick by this entire situation, and while you know you need food to survive, you’re sure you’ll vomit if you try to eat anything. 
beomgyu, on his part, leaves you alone, though he desperately wants to try to get you to eat with him. he won’t admit it, but he’s actually afraid that you’ll reject him again. he doesn't know why, but the thought of you doing so slashes at his heart. this is a mystery to him. he shouldn’t really care if you reject him or not, since he’s been quietly rejecting you for years, but he can’t help it. still, as he watches you space out at your desk, he tries to will himself to bear the brunt of a possible denial before a coworker he recognizes approaches you.
you don’t even notice mingi walking up to you, so you jump in surprise when he greets you. you’re pretty familiar with him, but you’re not particularly close, so you’re a bit surprised by his arrival. 
“can i sit with you?” he asks, grinning as he asks it. you nod in response, and he grins even wider before he pulls up a chair and seats himself in front of you.
“are you going to eat?” he questions, and you shake your head.
“not hungry,” you reply. he frowns.
“you still need to eat. you need energy, especially since you’re working so hard.” you’re actually a little sheepish because of his words. so he’s noticed how hard you’ve been working? it feels nice to be appreciated. is he worried about you? 
“i’ll eat later,” you lie. he seems a bit reluctant, but he eventually nods. 
“make sure you eat, okay? i’ll—i’ll text you and make sure you have. is that alright?” you’re stunned for a few seconds before agreeing, and he ends up sliding you his phone so you can put your number in it.
beomgyu watches it all from his desk, and he feels a sense of loss. is it because you’re directing your attention elsewhere? that has to be it, right? it can't be any deeper than that, but somewhere nearly unreachable inside of him, he feels an unfamiliar sensation scratching at his heart, begging him to  acknowledge it. but he shakes away the thought. you’re acting really weird, but that’s okay. you love him, and you’ll get back to normal really soon.
that’s what he tells himself, but you remain as cold as ever throughout the rest of the week. you don’t look at him with those adoring eyes, and you don’t even crack a smile at his attempted jokes. he feels like he's going insane, as if he's on the brink of understanding something really important, but he can't quite make it there. 
it all comes to a head when beomgyu shows up late back from grabbing lunch. he's done this a million times before, and he's always been greeted by your insistence that his tardiness isn't a big deal. in spite of the tension between you two, he still assumes that you'll be as forgiving as ever.
“hey, sorry i'm late. i got caught up with eating and didn't realize how late it was getting,” he says casually. he searches your face for any traces of leniency, for the indulgence you used to give him, but there is none. only anger, and maybe even something like regret, though he can't quite understand the latter.
“don't be late again. we don't have time for this,” you say coldly before sticking your nose back into your computer, effectively ignoring anything else beomgyu could say to placate you.
you two work late into the night. beomgyu gets so caught up in his work, too afraid to draw your ire again, but when he realizes he hasn't heard any noise coming from you in a while, he peers over to see you staring blankly at the wall. your face seems expressionless, but your eyes are what horrifies him. dead, empty, hopeless. “a-are you okay?”
the sound of his voice does nothing to break you out of your trance, however. in fact, it seems to have triggered something in you, decimated a dam that was already leaking. your eyes still look blank as tears begin to leak out of your eyes. they fall slowly at first, then incessantly. it's hard to reconcile the steady stream with the way your face remains completely devoid of emotion. 
tentatively, he places a hand on your shoulder. suddenly, you're jolted awake, eyes now looking as composed and indifferent as ever.
“are you okay? w-what's wrong?” he asks anxiously, 
you hurriedly wipe away your tears before you say, “nothing. just thinking about something.” you redirect your attention to your work, just trying to fully shake the way you were just locked into the memory of you dying alone.
“what could you possibly be thinking about to make you look like that?” he asks concernedly, his voice unintentionally rising in frustration. your eyes harden before you turn to him.
“none of your business,” you say firmly. before he can say anything, you're packing up your things. “i'm going to call it a night and go home.”
“wait! talk to me! what's been bothering you so much lately? you've been weird for a while now, so just tell me what's going on with you. i'm here. i'm listening,” he says as gently as he can.
“you're here? you're listening?” you sneer. “i'm so honored that you finally give a fuck about how i'm feeling,” you say sarcastically. he frowns at your words.
“what are you talking about? i'm always here for you,” he says, and he looks so genuine, it makes you even angrier. he sincerely thinks he's telling the truth. so fucking clueless and selfish.
“are you? do you think offering up your ear once in a blue moon makes you an altruistic angel or something?” you know he can't understand that you're throwing his own words back in his face, because he can't even remember saying them, but you don't care. it just feels too damn vindicating to stop yourself. “beomgyu, you're only as available to me as is convenient to you. you'd never put yourself out of your way to comfort me. meanwhile, i've always been ‘here’ and ‘listening’ at your will. i don't need your pity, and i certainly don't want it.” he's stunned into silence. you're absolutely correct, he realizes with a sinking feeling. before he can formulate the words to defend himself, you pack up your things and leave the office.
-
in the following weeks, you realize that mingi is… nice. really, really nice. you’re not used to prospective romantic partners actually seeming to like you, so the feeling is foreign, but not unwelcome. do you have feelings for him outside of appreciation? well, not really. in the back of your mind, you honestly doubt that you’re even capable of having feelings for other people anymore, but you try not to think about it too much. if you seriously search for an answer, you fear you won’t like what you find.
mingi is diligent, though, and you like that about him. now that you’ve made it clear that you’re not involved with beomgyu (and never want to be), he’s pulling out all the stops to charm you. lunches you would previously spend with beomgyu are now spent laughing with mingi. in the same way, downtime at work, which would normally entail catching up with beomgyu and maybe helping with a few of his assignments, are now reserved for chats with mingi. as beomgyu watches you two giggle with your heads together, he wonders what you two could possibly be talking about to ever be that funny. his jaw ticks in irritation at the scene. most notably, though, is the fact that instead of spending your off days with him, you flatout reject him with no explanation. not even with a perfunctory “sorry”. he doesn't have to wonder what you’ve been doing when he hears your coworkers gossiping about how you're always hanging out with mingi. 
beomgyu feels you slipping away, and it brings a sense of panic he’s never known before. but why? he shouldn't care about your romantic endeavors. granted, you haven’t had one during the entire time that you've known him, but it’s only natural that he supports you as your best friend. best friend. does that term even apply to him anymore? he wants to insist that it does, but as the weeks turn into months, your disgust for him becomes clearer and clearer. as he sits across from you and mingi at an after-work dinner with your department, he watches as mingi flirtatiously whispers into your ear. when some of your coworkers tease the two of you about it, he realizes with sickening certainty that he doesn't just want to be your best friend, he wants to be the one who sits next to you. he wants to be the one your coworkers joke about being your boyfriend, and he wants them to be right about it. the time you two have spent apart has shown him that he can't imagine anyone else occupying the space beside you. with an overwhelming sense of clarity, beomgyu realizes that this feeling, so deep and all-consuming, is love.
how could he not love you? regardless of everything you've done for him, you're still so perfect to him, for him. he finds himself appreciating things he previously took for granted. you're beautiful, caring, funny, and smart. he loves your smile, your laugh, your company. he loves the way you look when you're focused, the way you look so innocent when you sleep. you're the first person he wants to tell any time something happens, good or bad. you're the face he wants to wake up to in the morning. you're the only person he trusts to be his partner for the rest of his life. and now, it's clear that he can't just let you go without a fight.
as everyone begins to leave the restaurant one by one, he follows you out into the parking lot, determined to make his feelings known. even if you don't reciprocate them anymore, he's willing to put in the effort to make you love him again. and even if you don't… even if you can't… the desire to simply be next to you supersedes the need to be loved back. 
you don't realize that beomgyu is trailing after you until you get to your car. he calls out your name as you're about to pull the door handle. with a sigh, you turn around.
“what is it?” you ask flatly.
“are you serious about mingi?” he asks firmly, but he already knows that you are not. the way you look at mingi is laughable compared to the way you looked at beomgyu before your sudden change in behavior.
“yep,” you say.
“no, you're not. i can tell,” he argues with conviction.
“oh, and you know me so fucking well, huh?” you snark.
“i do,” he tells you, stepping closer. “i know you, and i know you don't really like him. not really.” damn. he caught you.
“just because i don’t like him now, doesn't mean i can’t like him later,” you insist.
“so what? you’re just going to string him along while hoping you’ll like him someday? are you just going to spend the rest of your life never really caring about anyone? you can't live like that.” his words leave no room for argument, but you’ll be damned before you don't at least try.
“you’re right, i shouldn’t lead him on, but what’s it matter to you? even if it doesn't work out with him, maybe i’ll meet somebody who i can tolerate, and who can tolerate me. i don’t think i need anything more than that.” beomgyu flinches at your bizarre words, but he's already reconciled with the idea that even if you don't want him anymore, he'll still take whatever you want to give him with a smile on his face.
“then what about me? i… i can be that person.” he's so nervous, you can tell that it took all of his courage to say that. but who cares? 
“you can’t,” you argue.
“why not?” 
“that would mean i’d have to be able to tolerate you, and i don’t want to do that.” not anymore.
“why are you acting like this? you’re acting like i’m so fucking horrible, but you used to lo—” he stops himself, but you both know he was going to bring up the love you had for him. “i just want to know what changed.”
“i did. i changed.”
“but why? i mean, i didn’t realize it before, and i know i wasn’t always the best, but i’ve always had feelings for y—” 
“don’t even bother finishing that sentence. you don't like me at all,” you sneer, “you just don’t like seeing me move on.” this makes him pause, and even you don’t have the heart to pretend like you can’t see the hurt in his eyes.
“why can’t you ever just believe me?” he asks quietly. “i’m telling you i love you, but you don’t even care. i’m saying that it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, but you’re acting like… like i'm disgusting to you.” he looks like he's about to cry, and it makes you all the more frustrated.
“you don’t understand,” you reply in between clenched teeth. 
“then help me understand. i just want to know why. i just want to know how to fix it. how can i bring you back?” 
“you can't. look, i’m—” and you’re about to apologize, but you just can’t make yourself do it. “you’ll get it really, really soon. you won’t even remember feeling this way, i can promise you that, and you’ll forget all about me.”
“what are you talking about?” he says exasperatedly. beomgyu may not have always been the best of friends towards you, but he can recognize when you’re holding yourself back. “what aren't you telling me?” you purse your lips in response. 
“nothing. there's no point in saying anything, because you wouldn't understand even if you tried. you wouldn't remember—fuck, never mind. just let it go, beomgyu. i have.” but he can't just let it go. this whole fucking thing as an enigma to him. but your words are… odd. what do you mean he wouldn't remember? there's nothing to remember, no matter how much he tries. before he can respond, you get into your car and drive away.
-
“c’mon, you know i don’t see you like that,” beomgyu tells you, forcing an awkward laugh. your expression immediately crumbles, and he begins to shift uncomfortably when he realizes that he must’ve said the wrong thing. your silence is deafening, ringing in his ears, but he still tries to maintain a smile. maybe you’ll lighten up. maybe you’ll go back to the way you were before. maybe you’ll even crack at smile at this ridiculous situation when you realize that he’s right in his assumption that you’re just being emotional. your feelings for him can only go so deep, right? you can go back to being friends after this, just the way he likes it. 
his smile is wiped clean off of his face when your eyes redden and well up in pure, unadulterated hurt. hurt he’s never seen before. he fumbles for the right words, but before he can find them, you break the suffocating silence. 
“you knew how i felt about you this whole fucking time, you were just too much of a coward to be honest with me. if… if you had just told me, i would’ve understood. i-i would've—you didn't have to do it this way.” any delusions beomgyu has that you’ll just let this go are promptly flushed away at your biting tone. jesus christ. you’re right, and he knows it. he flounders for a response, but nothing he can possibly say could really be enough. 
he spends the duration of the argument mainly trying to defend himself. honestly? he doesn't want to remember everything you two say, but he knows he's being nasty in an effort to keep himself from reconciling with the fact that he is, indeed, a coward. he knows he’s never been the greatest friend to you, though he’s always justified it by recalling the times where he did do thoughtful things for you. when you tell him that your resentment isn’t about the fact that he doesn't feel the same way, but because of the fact that he won’t own up to his actions, he feels a stab to his pride. before he can stop himself, he lashes out. 
“seriously? that's exactly what this is about. you're the altruistic angel who does nothing wrong, and i'm just a fucking scumbag who takes advantage of you, right? well, i'm sorry, but it's not my fault that you're acting so goddamn crazy over something so stupid.” he regrets the words as soon as as he says them. every syllable seems so vile as they leave his lips, but he can't stop himself. when he sees you crack at his words, he really wishes he had just kept his fucking mouth shut. 
“i never want to see you again,” you choke out between sobs, and he feels a piercing pain shoot through his body, all the way down to his bones. you don’t mean that. there’s no way you mean that. you care about him. you love him, and even if he doesn't feel quite the same way, he loves you, too. but one look at your resolute face is enough to tell him that you mean it. he wills himself to say something—anything—but you rush out of the door before he can quite muster up the courage to speak.
he stands in a stunned silence for longer than he could ever rightfully justify, but a call from an unfamiliar number eventually pulls him out of his daze. usually, he’d reject it and chalk it up to spam, but something tells him that he should—needs to—answer it. with shaky hands, he accepts the call. 
“h-hello?”
the response mostly sounds rather clinical in nature, really. there’s a perfunctory greeting before the monotone voice detachedly states that there’s been an accident, and he will need to come to the coroner’s office to accurately identify the corpse, which had been declared deceased at the scene. as it turns out, he was your first emergency contact. 
“we are deeply, deeply sorry.” the final words are the only ones that seem to hold any hint of an emotion in them, but beomgyu is too preoccupied to hear it. in a daze, he gets in his car and makes his way to the coroner’s office. hoping, praying, needing for this to be a bad dream. as he comes to find out, it is not. 
-
beomgyu’s head whips up in horror, and he’s panting like mad in between whimpers. tears incessantly pour out of his eyes, wetting his flushed cheeks. was it all a dream? there’s no way; it was too real to be a dream. he was there—he lived it. no, no, no…
“beomgyu?” a voice says, somewhat breaking him out of his panic. his bleary eyes snap up to the doorway to see you standing there, your eyebrows knit with concern and confusion. you two have been working late again, awkwardly alone together once more after his confession. you saw that he had fallen asleep, but he looked so tired, you couldn't bring yourself to wake him up. “are… are you okay?” he's absolutely frozen as you tentatively approach him, pausing a bit uncertainly before approaching him to get a closer look. he grabs you and tugs you towards him, wrapping his arms around you in an almost bruising grip. he nuzzles his wet face into the crook of your neck, inhaling your familiar scent in between shudders. 
“beomgyu, are you sick? did you have a bad dream?” you ask. his heart would flutter at your concern, concern you haven’t shown him for so long, in any other context; but as it is, he’s far too distraught to appreciate it. 
“i… i remember,” he croaks, trying to get even closer to you, as if doing so is the only way to keep you safe. you’d like to break out of his embrace, but he’s so distraught while you’re so off-guard, you don’t do it just yet. 
“remember what? something about the project? we can—” 
“no. i’m—i remember… i remember losing you.” he can’t quite bring himself to be any clearer, but you seem to understand him, anyway. you stiffen in his arms before prying him off of you. he fumbles for you, just to touch you again, but you push him away. you exert very little force, but it’s firm and unrelenting. 
“oh,” you reply, looking a little lost, but mostly just cold. he's basically wailing now, but he tries his best to answer.
“i’m so, so fucking sorry. i didn’t—” 
“what, you didn’t mean to? you’re sorry? maybe so, but  does it matter?” you cut in, almost snarling. now that he remembers, all of the feelings, all of the resentment you’ve kept bottled up come tumbling out of your mouth. “what's the point in telling me this now, after everything? you’re not sorry, beomgyu. you only care because i’m—because i was gone. i don’t want to hear about your regrets; they’re worthless to me.” he recoils as if you just punched him. his eyes turn even redder than they were before, too, and he’s silent at your words. 
he wants to tell you that you’re wrong, because he really is sorry, but can he truthfully say that he’d realize his feelings if you didn’t… go? he can’t. for all he knows, he’d have rejected you forever. he's so ashamed, he'd rather die than feel this way. even so, he wants to attempt to explain himself; you deserve that much. before he can reply, however, you rise and stalk towards the doorway. it’s reminiscent of the way you left when everything happened, and he desperately tries to follow you, grabbing your arm before you can make it out the door. 
“don’t touch me. don’t you ever touch me,” you seethe, ripping yourself out of his grip as if the mere feeling of his hands on you burns through your skin, and he staggers backwards. he keeps his arm somewhat outstretched, though. just in case you change your mind.
“don’t leave like this. i-i don’t want you to get hurt.” not again.
“what’s it matter to you?” you sneer. “you didn’t care before, so i won’t waste my life on you ever again.” his eyes widen in terror, and tears fall even more profusely than they already were. you begin to leave, but to your regret—and to his anguish, the angriest part of you forces you to turn around and face him again.
“do you want to know what my last thought was?” you ask, face mostly blank besides the slight traces of disdain in your eyes, and he’s too terrified to move or even speak at all. he knows whatever you say will be something that breaks him, so he tries to shrink himself to be as small as possible; subconsciously praying that doing so will make him disappear in the face of your anger. still, your eyes remain locked on his face—narrowing in on him regardless of his efforts. “it was of you, actually. i was wishing i’d never met you.” he visibly flinches as he gasps sharply, feeling like you just knocked the air out of his lungs. he feels like he can’t breathe. it would have felt better if you had just ripped his heart out of his chest, because as it is, it’s aching so badly, he wishes you had. 
his lips tremble, and he looks like he’s just heard the worst news of his life. and he has. you hate him that much? you regret all of the time you had together to the point of wishing it had never happened? he’s never, ever regretted a moment he’s spent with you, but he guesses your company has always been better than his. how could it not be? you’ve always given him more than he could ever reasonably ask for, and even if you hadn’t, you’re still a much better person than he is. better to the extent of making him realize just how unworthy he is.
he lets you leave, but his anxiety makes him frantically pace about the room. he tugs at his hair, willing himself to calm down, but he just can’t. after a few minutes, he texts you and asks if you made it home. to his relief, it says that you’ve read the message, so he knows you must be okay. still, you don’t respond. 
-
the deal is tied up exceptionally smoothly; you’ve done it before, after all, so that comes as no surprise. on the night of the celebratory dinner, you take mingi as your date. you’ve already told him that you don’t see things panning out, but he actually takes it really well. maybe telling him that you’re planning on moving helped smooth things over. still, he insists that you accompany him to the dinner, just as friends. you oblige. 
it’s mostly the same as you remember. you spend the night mixing with your coworkers for the last time, and it’s bittersweet. they don’t know that this will be the last time you see them, as your two weeks before resignation have already passed in secret, and you’ll spend the next few weeks just packing and finding a new place to stay far, far away from here. it’s freeing, in a way. 
at some point, your manager announces that he’ll be making a toast, and the room quiets as everyone’s attention is placed on him. 
“firstly, i’d like to celebrate the success of this collaboration. everyone has worked hard to make everything come to fruition. secondly, i’d like to recognize two of the people who made this possible.” he specially thanks you and beomgyu, which is normal, but the unexpected happens when he voices his regret that you’ll be resigning. 
your coworkers look at you in shock, but one person in particular is especially stunned. beomgyu. your manager probably thanks employees of the other company, too, but he doesn’t hear it. other voices, other people, are drowned out by the buzzing in his ears. you’re leaving, and it's all because of him. 
he tries to drown his feelings in alcohol, stomach burning with every round, but the regret never seems to numb. the room seems to be spinning, and he looks visibly ill. eventually, a familiar figure takes a seat next to him. ah. his previous fiancée.
“hey,” she says, somewhat coyly. he doesn't respond. “wow, are you okay? you look a little green. how are you getting home?” again, he doesn't respond. she actually appears to be embarrassed, but she tries one more time. 
“i actually—i came over here because you're really… cute. if you don't have a way home, i can take you. i won't try anything on you, but i can't just let you go home alone. and maybe, you know, when you're sober, we can—”
“beat it,” he snaps. he knows it’s not her fault, and that she hasn’t done anything, but he still can’t help his resentment, even when it should all be directed towards himself. but his recognition of his unfairness isn’t enough for him to care. she blinks in surprise and embarrassment, rising from her seat in defeat. 
beomgyu continues to drink until he’s on the verge of passing out, putting his face in his hands. he draws attention from everyone, but he doesn’t have the mind to care. people try to approach him, but he flatly rejects everyone who attempts to offer their help in order to ensure that he gets home safely. 
“should you… should you take him home?” mingi asks. it’s obvious who he’s referring to.
“it’s not my problem,” you reply, a bit more curtly than you intended. 
“you’re right, it’s not. but you’re the only one he’ll listen to, and i think you know that.” mingi argues. you sigh. he’s right. as much as you want to blame beomgyu for everything, you’ve come to realize that after the conversation—more like confrontation—you two had, you’re not angry anymore. it was hard to see in the moment, but you’ve begun to question your merciless stance towards him. isn’t it partially your fault that things turned out the way they did? he didn't make you check your phone that day, so isn’t it unfair to completely blame him for everything? 
with this in mind, you approach him. he initially bats you away, assuming you’re just another one of his coworkers, but your voice pulls him out of his drunken stupor.
“c’mon. i’ll take you home.” his head whips up in surprise, and he almost thinks you’re joking, but your face is completely serious.
“o-okay,” he replies, sounding extremely docile. you don’t respond, but you begin to walk ahead of him as you head to the exit. he’s having a hard time even following you as he clumsily staggers through the crowd, following you like a lost puppy. hesitantly, he reaches out for your hand, though the fear of you telling him not to touch you remains. you turn back to see his fingers hesitantly outstretched to your hand, and with a look of resignation, you let him grab it as you lead him out.
the ride to his home is a silent one. beomgyu rests his head upon the cold window as he stares at the scenery outside. he doesn’t really take anything in, far too dazed to appreciate the view, but he looks, anyway. 
when you enter his apartment, begrudgingly letting him lean on you for support, you take him to his bedroom. he plops down onto his bed in an unnaturally clumsy manner. 
“th-thanks for taking me home,” he says meekly. 
“mm,” you reply, no inflection of emotion in your tone, getting ready to leave and head to your apartment. 
“w-wait! can you… can you stay here tonight?” you look at him doubtfully, but before you can resolutely deny him, he begins to retch. with widened eyes, you pull him up and drag him to his bathroom. he hunches over the toilet and lets everything go. he’s trembling after he’s finished, and you clean him up as best as you can. he melts into your touch as you gently wipe his face. you’re not soothing him with your words like you would’ve a few months ago, but your care, no matter how unwilling you seem to give it, is something he revels in. he brushes his teeth, but he keeps his eyes on your pensive reflection in the mirror. after he's finished, you speak.
“i’ll stay,” you tell him. 
“w-what?” he questions, eyes watery.
“i’ll stay for tonight. i’ll take the couch. i just don’t want to leave you when you’re feeling like this. it’s dangerous.” 
“n-no! you can stay in the guest room.” 
“i need to be able to hear you if something happens,” you argue. 
“th-then i’ll sleep on the couch. i don’t want you to—” 
“beomgyu, you need to properly rest. if you don’t sleep in your room, i’ll leave.” his face crumbles before he acquiesces with a strained nod.
“good,” you say with a ghost of a smile at his blind obedience, but he's too drunk to notice it. if he had, he would’ve clung to it like a man drowning. 
“thank you,” he solemnly whispers.  
“goodnight, beomgyu.”
“goodnight,” he says, and you rifle through his drawer for some clothes before heading to his living room and changing. you pull out spare blankets from his linen closet before sliding onto his couch.
you sleep rather peacefully, but beomgyu has no such luck. instead, he's pulled into a dream—one he comes to realize is a memory.
-
when beomgyu arrives at the coroner’s office, there is a moment, albeit brief, that he sickly hopes that it’s literally anyone else in the world, but when he sees you—body mangled nearly beyond recognition—he realizes that there is no such mercy. apparently, you didn't even die on impact, but by the time somebody reached you, you were already gone. he doesn't want to imagine how you must've felt, being alone in your last moments, but he feels like he should. against the warnings of the coroner and surrounding police officers, he demands for your face to be uncovered. he can surely identify you based on frame and clothing alone, but for reasons he doesn’t dare to dwell on, he feels like he just has to see. he just has to be sure. he just has to know what he did to you. 
and he does come to know it. to his eternal regret, he begins to know it at that moment, and consequently, every moment after. as it turns out, they suspect that you were looking at your phone before you swerved off of the road. he doesn’t know how, but he’s instinctively sure that it’s because you were waiting on his call. one  resounding thought thrums incessantly in his head: it’s all his fault, all his fault, all his fault.
your face is bloody, barely even showing any of the underlying skin, and marred from shattered glass. he swallows thickly as he reaches out to touch you, running his hands over the gashes on your face as softly as he can as to avoid hurting you, and he can’t help but wonder if it’s at all possible for him to tend to your wounds. he would go over single one, softly patching you up back to normal; but you're already cold to the touch, and though you definitely can’t feel anything, his mind imagines how much it must hurt to have him caress the gaping wounds on your face. he snatches back his hand, as if his touch is poison to you. 
“s-sorry, i’m really sorry!” he panickedly exclaims. “i-i won’t—i didn’t mean to hurt you.” he’s unsure if he means that in the current physical or the previous emotional sense, but does that really matter? he already has. besides, you can’t feel anything anymore. all of your muscles are relaxed, leaving you devoid of any expression as your eyes hollowly stare up at the ceiling. for a moment, he wishes the hurt he saw in them a mere hour ago was still there. anything would be better than the current blankness of your features. 
the blankness remains, however, even after all of the makeup and superficial repairs done to make you look like you’re only peacefully asleep. to him, you just look dead, no matter how badly he wishes the former were the case. as much as he wants to speak at your funeral, he does not. he doesn't deserve the dignity to speak, much less to properly mourn you. not after what he said to you. not when everything that's happened is all his fault.
the breakup with his girlfriend—or fiancée—is more bothersome than he can handle. in between her pleas and attempts to reason, all he can do is coolly recite the constant refrain: “i’m sorry, i just don’t want to be with you.” she tells him he’s just grieving, that he’ll get over it with time, and she wants to support him while he does it; but he montonously repeats his words as if they're the only ones he knows. in her anger and desperation, she tells him he’s making a mistake, and that he’s just feeling guilty because of your unrequited love, which ultimately proves itself to be the categorically worst thing to say. he finally explodes, telling her that she was the mistake, that he doesn't know what he ever saw in her that even closely compares to you, and he'd take every moment with her back if he could. she's the biggest regret of his life, which previously felt like it had only just begun, but now feels like it stretches far beyond what he can tolerate. 
in the days, weeks, months that follow, he struggles to understand how something so unjust could occur. it doesn't make sense. really, it just doesn't make sense. eventually, even his initially patient friends grow weary of his neurotic harping upon how unfair it is, how sudden and wrong it all is. he should be punished. you shouldn’t have had to be the one to suffer, but you were. what kind of justice is that? what kind of universe allows something so cruel to happen right under its nose?
when everyone finally tells him that it’s time to move on and let go, he resorts to speaking to the only person who can’t argue back. you. he visits you every day, bringing you gifts on christmas and your birthday, and even just when he sees something he think you'd like. in a way, they’re almost like sacrifices to you to atone for what he did. his contrition. he spends many of his visits by raving like a man gone mad at a stone slab. he likes to think that you’re agreeing with him, that you see the unfairness for what it is. he’s realized that he loves you, has always loved you, but he was too self-absorbed to notice. as hypocritical as it is, he’s only noticed after you… left, and he’s more disgusted by himself than he ever thought possible. still, he thinks you deserve to know. you deserve for him to be brave and tell the truth, but who cares? what’s the use of only recognizing it after everything he’s done? 
he apologizes to you while crying about how much he misses you. he tries to tell you about other things, too. about the things he thinks you would’ve liked to hear. about current events he decides you’d find funny or interesting, about life updates on your friends that you’d want to know, about how a new album has been released by an artist you really liked, and that he can't quite bring himself to listen to it yet. he’ll definitely listen, though, someday. he’ll give you his opinions after describing each track in great detail, once he’s able to bear it, that is. you always look(ed) forward to their releases, so it’s the least he can do to repay his debt to you. 
but if you owe someone a debt as deep as their life, how can you repay that debt when they’re no longer here to collect it? if he really thinks about it, there are a lot of things he owes you. he owes you the years you spent caring about him when he couldn’t be bothered to reciprocate a fraction of the same courtesy. he owes you every thoughtful action, every encouraging word you wasted on him. he owes you the time you dedicated to make sure he always felt seen, felt understood, felt loved. yes, he owes you a lot of things—too many to properly account for, actually. and now, he even owes you your life. his debt is so heavy, he crumbles under it every day, squirming pathetically beneath the crushing weight of it all like an insect. the worst part is: he owes you more than you ever asked him for. all you wanted in return was honesty, but it appears that even that was too much to ask from him.
he wishes you were here to punish him, to scorn him for being such a fucking bastard. yell at him, hit him, kill him. anything would be fine—he’d tolerate it all—just as long as you were still here. he’d be perfectly content with your hatred, he’d revel in it, even; but he supposes that he doesn’t even deserve that much. as it is, your silence is the most punishment he can receive, but that doesn't feel like it's even close to enough. he finds himself praying for mercy, for some bizarre, cosmic event to put him out of his misery once and for all. he indulges in the idea that if he plays his cards right, if he begs and pleads enough, he’ll find you again. such a notion is initially enough to placate him, but it is to his horror when he realizes that he’s more afraid of that than anything else. what if he finds you, and you tell him, “i never want to see you again,” just like before? such a terrifying outcome is enough to keep him from snuffing out his own light with his own two hands for good. he’d rather live as if he were dead than hear those words again.
so he does. he lives like that for years, decades, until death mercifully takes him. he lives quietly and utterly alone. no wife, no children, and hardly any friends. if your life was robbed from you by his actions, then it’s only right that he lives as if his own were robbed from him, too. it’s the least he can do to atone for what he’s done. what keeps him up at night, though, is the possibility that it’s just not enough. if you do meet him again, what will you say? will you still tell him that you don't want to see him? that the lifetime he spent regretting everything he's ever done pales in comparison to the price you paid for caring about him? as the darkness overcomes him, however, he realizes that you deigning to say anything at all to him is better than your unbearable silence. his final thought before he's swallowed whole is: please, just let me see you one more time.
-
beomgyu awakens in a cold sweat, panting heavily as he struggles to understand where he is. is he still alive? that can’t be right—he clearly felt himself slipping away. but what if he can’t die? what if that’s his punishment? the thought alone is enough to elicit a guttural, “no, no, no!” out of him as he realizes that his nightmare is not yet over, and may very well never be. tears pour down his face as he wails like a child.
“beomgyu?” you say as you walk through the doorway, looking somewhat sleepy and disheveled in clothes he subconsciously registers as his own. when he looks at you, he's relieved, but the regret he feels is what overwhelms him.
“oh, god. i'm—it's all my fault.”
“what?” you ask, still a bit disoriented from just waking up, seeing as how it's still the middle of the night.
“it's all my fault. it's all my fucking fault. i did that to you.” suddenly, you realize what he’s saying, and your heart clenches at his words.
“beomgyu, no. i was distracted. i didn’t see—”
“you were distracted because of me. you thought i was calling you, i just know it. you were there because of me. because i’m a fucking coward who couldn't just tell you the truth.” you don’t know what to say. did he really blame himself for everything? even after all of this time? before you can answer, he speaks again.
“i saw—you just looked so small. i've never—i didn't even think anyone could bleed that much. you were so cold, a-and your face was—” 
“hey, hey, hey, stop it,” you say firmly, but gently, “you're not—” 
“they said you died at the scene, all… all alone. and i know i was the one who did that. if i had just listened to you, if i had just been honest with you, you would've been alright. but i called you crazy. i said you were being stupid. w-why did i say that? what did i do it for?” 
“look at me,” you say firmly, which makes his unfocused eyes zero in on you. “listen, listen to me. it's not your fault, okay? i used to feel like it was, but now i understand that you were scared. i know you couldn't control how you felt about her, and you were right about you not owing me your feelings. you could've been honest, but that doesn't mean you killed me.” 
“no, i did it. i did it. i did that to you. if i had just—”
“gyu,” you sigh, and his heart can’t help but stutter at the nickname you haven’t called him in months. “i’m telling you it’s not your fault. i used to blame it all on you, and i was wrong for doing that. but you get it now, right? you're supposed to be with her. you love her.”
“no, no, no! i don't. i really don't,” he desperately exclaims, trying to convince you in the only way he knows how.
“maybe not yet,” you concede, “but you will. once you get to know her, you'll want to spend the rest of your life with her. that's how it's supposed to be, just like before.”
“there is no before,” he cuts in pleadingly. “i lived and died alone, just like i deserved. i just—i love you so much, i couldn't stand to let you go.” you frown at his words—they make you actually feel guilty. even so, you guess that it's time to let the purgatory you find yourselves in go. besides, maybe he needs an apology to finally put it all to rest. 
“i'm sorry that—” his heart drops to his stomach. please don’t say it. he’s begging you not to say it. not to someone as unworthy and filthy as him.
“don't. please, please, don't apologize to m—”
“—i made you feel that way. even when i hated you, i never wanted you to live like that; but you can't mistake guilt for… something else. maybe this is another chance to get it right. you can be with her guilt-free, and i can live without regrets.”
“no, i-i didn’t break up with her because of guilt! i did it because i realized that if it’s not you, i don’t want it to be anyone else. it can’t be anyone else.” 
“you don’t know that,” you sigh. “you think you feel that way, but you’re just sad that things ended how they did.” 
“you’re wrong!” he exclaims. “i didn’t realize it—i was too stupid to realize it. and i know it’s disgusting of me, but i only… i only understood it after i lost you. i-i’m sorry i didn’t realize it before, but please don’t tell me how i feel. i spent every day wishing i would just fucking die so i could see you again. i just couldn’t stand living without you. that’s not normal—that’s not how friends feel, no matter how guilty they are. i just wanted to die.” you purse your lips at his words as you feel dread pooling in your stomach. at least when you died, you didn’t suffer for long, but he suffered for the rest of his life. in the same way, you didn’t want him to hurt himself, no matter how angry you were. 
beomgyu has begun to hyperventilate, but he doesn’t take his eyes off of you—too afraid that you’ll disappear if he does. he’s probably having a panic attack as tears stream down his face, and he ruthlessly tugs at his hair in pure distress. all he can do is repeat that it's all his fault and how sorry he is, and any lingering resentment you may feel dissipates like smoke at his absolutely shattered state. it seems like he really can't live without you, so are you sure you can abandon him like this? you don't think so. although it may not be right, you still think that it's worth a shot. you don't think he has the capacity to hurt you ever again, and you realize that even after everything, you don't think you can love somebody the way that you love him. so, you're willing to let him try again.
“hey, hey. stop it,” you coax, seating yourself on his bed. but he can’t stop it, he physically can’t. he’s whimpering now, like a wild beast with a mortal wound. you don’t hesitate to take him into your arms, holding him tightly as you shush him. “shh, it’s okay, i’m here. don’t cry. i’m here, and i won’t leave again. i promise. just breathe, in… then out. that’s it, just like that. good job.” 
eventually, his breath begins to even out, though his body is still racked with shudders. you’re here. you’re okay. you promised that you won’t leave him, and you always keep your word when it comes to him. he finally feels like he can breathe, and even though he’s in so much pain, he still wishes this moment will never end. he wishes he could stay in your arms forever, never letting you leave his side. always staying where he can reach you.
“better?” you ask, pulling away to get a good look at him, but he shakily grips your sleeve in sheer desperation. he just has to be touching you, somehow. he forces himself to nod.
“good,” you say, eyes soft and lips slightly upturned in relief. he almost loses it again at the sight of your smile, no matter how small. he never thought he’d see it directed towards him again in this life or the next. “do you want to start over?” 
“s-start over?” he asks. he doesn't dare to let himself hope that you mean what he thinks you mean. 
“start over,” you nod. “we can try again, okay?” 
“oh, p-please,” he begs. he’s so pathetic. he doesn’t deserve your mercy, but he supposes he’s too selfish to reject it. you look at him for a long, long time with soft eyes. you’re not angry anymore—he’s suffered more than enough, and you finally believe that he loves you just as much as you love him, and maybe even a little more than that.
“you promise you won't hurt me again?”
“i promise. i swear to god—” 
without a second thought, you gently cup his face in your hands, which makes his words catch in his throat. his eyes widen as you lean in while pulling him towards you. when your lips meet, he’s electrified to his bones. he melts into the kiss, whimpering slightly at the feeling of your lips against his. when you break apart, you rest his forehead on his own, closing your eyes as he stares at you before he does the same. he clutches the hand you have on his face and grazes his thumb over it as he lets out a contented sigh. nobody has ever made him feel this way before, and if he could go back to the first day he met you, he’d tie you to him immediately. 
“thank you, thank you so much,” he whispers. with a smile, you press your lips against his again. he falls into the feeling just as easily as the first time, and you push him down before continuing to go even deeper. before completely giving in. 
you spend the night loving and being loved in a way that you never thought you could. you feel cherished to a degree you previously considered impossible. beomgyu reveres you as if you’re his god, and he shows you as much with how loving and gentle he is. when you’re finished, panting heavily against each other, he holds his hand against your cheek as he stares at you in awe.
“i missed you so much. i love you so much. i promise that nobody will ever love you as much as i do. i promise that nobody will ever treat you as well as i will. just don’t leave me, okay?” and when the time comes, even if you do leave first, he’ll be sure to follow you. he won't let you be alone ever again. but he definitely can’t tell you that, or else you’d yell at him for not caring about his life enough.
“okay,” you tell him with a sleepy smile, and he beams before kissing your forehead and letting you drift off. he stares at your peaceful face, resolving to always give you what you want, no matter what it costs him. even if it kills him, he'll gladly do whatever it takes to ensure that you're happier with him than you could ever be with anyone else. he'll prove to you how much he loves you, and he'll pay back the debt he owes you a million times over. you'll see. he’ll marry you, start a new life with you, and chain himself to you forever; which may sound selfish, but he’ll make up for his willfulness by being everything you could ever want and need. and finally, before he joins you to sleep, he thanks the universe for having mercy on him—for letting him see you again.
notes pt. 2: ... so? LMAOOOOO i hope this was worth the wait bc this work was so hard for me to get through it was making me so sad to write it. anyway, love yew. please don't be mean to me tho like if u don't like it just close your eyes n scroll 🙏
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7ndipity · 8 months ago
Text
Dating A Foreign Partner
Ot7 x Reader
Summary: How the members would handle being in a relationship with a foreign S/o.
Warnings: brief mentions of racial/cultural discrimination,
A/N: Thank you to @bethanysnow for requesting this, I hope you like it!😘💜 I tried to keep these a bit lighter, but if there’s something more specific that any of you would like to see, lmk!
Masterlist
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Jin:
Sounds cliche, but I think he would really enjoy trying foods from where you're from, especially some of the more ‘unusual’ ones(I literally found out the other day that pb&j sandwiches are considered weird in Korea??)
I think you two would accidentally confuse each other with lesser known cultural differences, like when he first asks you to be official after only like two dates(which is normal in korean culture, but not so much in western dating)
Would become very aware of the prejudices and discrimination that foreign couples deal with in both your countries. Like, obviously he was aware it was an issue before, but dealing with it first hand made him realize just how much of an issue it was.
It would make his heart soo happy to see you learning how to speak Korean or embracing different parts of his culture.
(Secretly studies your native language to surprise you for your birthday or anniversary)
Yoongi:
I might be projecting a lil bit, but I can honestly see him having a foreign partner. Idk, I just see him not really paying much mind to things like race/nationality, he likes who he likes and that’s it.
Might be a little shy about how much more comfortable you are with things like casual skinship tho, but he also kinda secretly loves it.
He would really love that you’re so direct sometimes, rather than trying to ask for things in a more roundabout ‘polite’ way that is considered proper in Korean culture. He would love that you’re to the point, like him.
Would be so flattered if you made the effort to learn Korean, grinning so big the first time he hears you use even something little like “Hajima” correctly.
He’d do the same with your language too. Learning about your culture would be really important to him, he wants you to know that he appreciates you and where you came from.
Hobi:
Tbh, I totally see him with a foreign partner, he would love the variety and unique energy that you bring to each other's lives.
I think he would tend to forget some of the differences in how you both grew up until you mention something more drastic like school safety drills and he has to do a double take like “wtf?!”
I think he would love how open and expressive you are about your home and culture, and loves learning about where you came from. You’re his favorite person, he wants to know as much as possible about you!
Would have soo much fun teaching you about all the different holidays and traditions in Korea that differ from where you’re from.
Would be soo surprised if you learned to speak Korean, even if it’s just a few phrases at first. He just gets so happy and giggly hearing you speak.
Namjoon:
I think most people consider him the most likely out of the group to have a foreign partner, and tbh I kinda agree.
He would make a serious effort to learn as much about your country/culture as he could, possibly even wanting to visit there sometime with you.
Despite being pretty well versed in a lot of other cultures, he would definitely still have little moments of culture shock over random things like educational systems. Like I can imagine his surprise/confusion over the more lax approach in some schools or someone being homeschooled(hi).
Would be super impressed if you already knew some korean when you met, but if not, he’s more than happy to help you learn.
Lowkey quite protective over you, bc he knows how harsh Korean media can be towards celebrities having foreign partners.
Jimin:
Thinks your Korean is super cute! He finds it absolutely adorable the way you say certain words, and he loves the way you speak slowly and softly when you’re focused on pronouncing certain phrases correctly.
If you’re new to living in Korea, he would do his best to help you settle in and adjust to the differences in day to day life, as well as comforting you on the days when you feel homesick.
Loves learning about your culture, tho I think he would prefer learning from you than on his, just so he can watch how excited you get talking about your home.
Would be soo excited if he finds any similarities between your cultures, whether it’s how you celebrate certain holidays, or a similar dish. He loves finding those little connections.
Another who would be rather protective over you, especially if he knows you have anxieties about certain things due to public safety issues where you’re from. He just wants to make sure you to feel safe
Taehyung:
I know a lot of people see him as rather traditional when it comes to things like dating/relationships, but I could very much see him with a foreign partner, especially since he talked about wanting to live abroad at some point in the future.
I think he would find your different perspectives really refreshing, you really help broaden each other's horizons.
I honestly think he would be another who would sometimes forget the differences in how you both grew up until he brings up something and you’re like “We never did that??”
Lowkey brags about you every chance he gets like “Oh ,Y/n’s from (country name), and they were teaching me about-”
He never treats it as if you’re some sort of novelty tho, he just really loves you and wants to show you that he supports you and shares your pride for who you are and where you’re from.
Jungkook:
I think he would have a lot of fun with a foreign partner, learning about each other's cultures and sharing stories about your upbringings.
Might take him a while to adjust to things like your relationships/dynamics with other guys, just bc that’s not quite as common in Korea, but I could see him actually really enjoying it if you fit into his friend group bc of that.
Another that would feel rather protective over you for similar reasons as Joon. If anyone so much as looks at you weird, he’s gonna shut them down soo fast.
He loves hearing you speak in your native language, there’s something about it that’s just so soothing and melodic about it to him. But it’s only when you're speaking, it’s not the same with anyone else.
Would ask you to teach him so that he can hear you speak it more(study dates where you help each other would be super cute and cozy)
Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @comingupwithacoolnameishard @bo0o0o0ooo @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz
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jakesangel · 8 months ago
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sitting on jakes lap ><
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sitting in jake's lap would happens quite often. doing any activity, in front of the members, in his dorm, outside, literally anywhere and anytime. facing him or not he loves feeling ur weight on his legs.
tho jake would be shy at first, he didn't know how to ask you to sit on his lap without making things weird or making you think of him in a way that he isn't. so when u got comfortable by simply putting ur legs on his legs on a movie night, he felt like his dream came true. he would obviously put his hands on ur legs n draw patterns lovingly. he would love it even more if u wear skirts cause first that means ure really comfortable w him, two, your skin is so so soft to him n he wants to feel your warmth.
one night full of giggles and kisses, you tried doing your makeup on jake face. he also knew what it meant, having a chance to have you close to him. so he would purposely have weird posture to make it harder for you, make silly faces or even not keeping his hands to him. even if u are holding his face in one hand and doing his makeup w the other, the task is munch more complicated w him teasing you. so there you are, your thighs over his, his hands on your waist and jake, finally, is having you on his lap. his pretty baby, right in front of his face. and furthermore focused on his. he truly thinks he is in the seventh sky. he wants to kiss you and hug you closer to his body but he knows he's been a pain in the ass to get what he wants, so this time, he stays still and fully take in the moment. you, on the other hand, don't understand why jakes eyes are finally closed n why he is suddenly pliant for you to apply ur eyeshadow. you also don't understand why he just just smiling or sighing in contentment.
after this, he would never let you sit anywhere else but his lap. you need to do your makeup ? he is right there to be your seat. need to do your homework ? lemme him see your physics homework, he'll do them. you want to watch tv ? he would even prepare the plaid and the snacks.
he wouldn't mind having you on his lap in front the members either. the first time, you got shy but the members know how physical jake can gets. almost thanking you for being his physically-touch-giver instead of them. so it didn't bother them nor him. he would even get offended seeing you sit next to him, and not on him, giving you confused puppy eyes. but jakes gets what he wants so he will (ᵎᵎ) move you in front of them, making you flustered. my shy baby, don't you worry about them, they're so jealous of me having this pretty girl on my lap, he would whisper to your ear, making your blush red-er.
when he feels 'loving' and/or clingy, he would always tell you soft words with loving touch. he would kiss your temple if you aren't facing him, his hands drawing heart on your thighs. if your facing him, he would hum, your arms around his neck, him taking in your hair scent. i love having you this close, baby. it's when i feel the safest, he would say hugging you closer to his. you smell so good for me, my pretty princess, he adds his eyes closing. or he would just convey his words w a kiss. a long a deep one, one arm around ur figure the other guiding ur face to his, his hand softly holding your chin.
notes : none ><
@imaluckygirl @luvj4key @heeseungswifefr @goldenretrieverjakezgirlbaby @jaeyunpinkyring
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cvnt4him · 7 months ago
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sassy deku >>> (big ass forehead)
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YK YOU WRONG FOR TALKING AB MY MAN LIKE THAT HES GORGEOUS HIS FOREHEAD IS PERFECT THE WAY IT IS.
N YKW? IM AB TO MAKE A FULL THING TOO. CAN WE TALK AB THE HEAD THING THO??? LIKE HUH LIKE THAT PARAGRAPH IS MIND BLOWING.
...........................................
Getting an attitude w sassy men
..............................................
M. izuku.
You and izuku never really get into fights so when you randomly got an attitude w him you better believe he got pissed. He's so sweet and nice to you under all circumstances whatsoever, he doesn't want to disrespect you at all but God lately you've just been getting on his nerves. The way you bitch around and yell at him like he exploded the sun.
"are you fucking kidding me izuku? Like are you genuinely insane. I just cannot with you."
You scoff and yell at him with an angry tone.
He rolls his eyes and ignores you, you've really just been so annoying. Like God why can't you simply shut up and suck his cock. Like he's been through so much in his life and this so what he gets in return?
"yeah okay bitch."
"excuse me?!"
"you fucking heard me, you've literally been bitching all day over some shit I had nothing to do with like I just can't. I've saved all of Japan and instead of getting a loving girlfriend to cook and clean for me you're sitting here being a whiney little bitch."
He spat venom with every word that left his beautifully pink tinted lips, his eyes squinted at you with spite. The way he spoke stunned you, you were frozen in shock. You're sweet loving boyfriend who'd never raise his voice at you or even attempt to hurt your feelings,
Tears welled in your eyes as you were blinded by the forming tears, blinking heavily trying to bat away the tears that were starting to become present. Izuku never got angry or even attempted to fight with you, he hated the guilty feeling he'd always feel and not djd you make him feel it.
You made him sleep on the couch for a couple of nights, the main reason he actually stayed on the couch was because he felt he deserved it after what he'd said and how hed spoken to you. Izukus kother would be so disappointed in him. The words that left his mouth were misogynistic and ugly, he wasn't that kind of person, but for some reason you brought out the bad in him.
There was also the good. You knew how to make him laugh, smile, feel oh so good. So why had he been so mean to you lately. He wished he knew.
Izuku came knocking on your shared room door waiting for you to say something, anything. It'd been so long since he'd heard your voice, since you'd spoken to him directly.
"come in."
A soft voice was heard through the wooden door as he practically pushed the door down trying to hurriedly open it to get to you. He gulped out of fear, afraid of what you'd say to him, how you'd feel if you looked at him. He hated himself for what he said, and he wanted to apologize.
You looked at him with sad eyes, you were under the cover hiding your face at first. It felt so good to see your beautiful face after so long. He sighed at your gorgeous features, your lips in a pouty frown and your hair a mess. You looked good no matter what.
"my pretty girl..."
He whispered to you, rushing to your side. He instantly wrapped his arms around your figure as you did the same, he moved the cover on top of the both of you and cuddled you. He buried his face in your neck planting little fast kisses everywhere.
"I'm so sorry.. you've just been so.. difficult lately."
He says into your ear. he feels you tense under his touch before moving back to look at him with a disgusted look. He gave you a confused one, why had you looked like this? He was apologizing!
"are you fucking kidding?"
"wha--"
"I'M being difficult??? If I'm SOO difficult just fucking leave."
Here we go again. He sighed heavily getting rather impatient which izuku was nothing but. You were angering him once again because you're bitching and nagging before he can even get a word out, per usge.
"my god you're such a spoiled little bitch. you never let me speak, always making things about yourself. I came fucking apologize but if you're going to be a fucking cunt I might as well fuck yours."
"are you fucking kidding me izuku?! you-- wait what."
Anyways he bent you over and yanked your underwear and pants off in one go didn't even bother prepping or anything just shoved his semi hard cock inside of you and thrusted into you at an insane pace.
Moral of this story is he didn't stop fucking you until you were a sloppy cum filled mess.
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I. tenya.
Tenya was so full of your shit. You've gotten in trouble in class, kept blowing him off, and then proceeded to ignore his texts.
He was so fed up with you. He needed to talk to you and you were going to hear him out not just as the class president but as your boyfriend.
"what do you want tenya."
"for you to stop acting like a cunt."
"i--- wha-"
"I'm so tired of your shit y/n you've been acting like a cold hearted ice queen towards me all day. I want to be with you but I can't stand being in the same room with someone who doesn't care about me."
"I never said i---"
"yet you're acting like I'm some minor pleb. Y/n I love you more than anything and yet you're standing here treating me like a insignificance to your presence."
He says putting his hands on his hips. God he looked so sassy like that it was actually kind of hot. He saw how a smirk appeared into your face as you looked him up and down and he tensed under your eyesight.
"yeah you're right tenya I've been kind of a dick all day hm, baby? Let me make it up to you yeah?"
You say batting your eyelashes at him walking towards him and rubbing your hands up and down his chest, burying your face in his neck and whispering and fanning your breath over it. He shivered and put his hands on your waist pulling you closer into his chest, he lifted your head closer to his, your lips so close to touching.
He pushed you down on the bed and dusted himself off.
"you've got to do a better job than that if you want me to forgive you.
Fuck, the smirk he gave you while walking out of his room was diabolical. God how did you end up with a sexy boyfriend like this. Yet he's such a pain in the ass too.
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M. neito.
Monoma was an ass sometimes, sure. A sassy diva, yeah, but he was never rude to you. He never made you feel like you were less than perfect, he always gave you what he felt you deserved and always made sure you knew how much you meant to him. He never let his feud with your class fuck with him. Until now.
He's been letting everything your class does get to him, and since you're in class 1A he's been getting rather pissed with you. The way he blew you off and pushed you aside like some petty diva was about your last straw.
You walked all the way to class 1B dorm house and bust through the doors in a fit of rage. You were not going to let anyone stop you from fucking up his world.
The way all of his classmates looked at you like you were crazy, some laughing others just genuinely confused why someone from class 1A was here to begin with.
"where the hell is he."
You say yelling to his classmates as they all pointed to up the stairs where the dorms were. You've been there before, not while everyone was awake. But you've been there before. You knew exactly where his dorm was located.
You stormed up the stairs and quickly made your way to his dorm. Upon arriving you bust down his door with your foot, he screams and hides under his work desk for cover. Once he seen it was you he scoffed and was ready to tell at you before being stopped before anything could even leave his lips.
"are you fucking kidding me?? You've been a dick to me all week for what? Because my class is higher than yours?? get over it. At the end of the day you're in hero courses you'll live. Stop treating me like a nuisance because of some sick twisted vendetta you have with my class!"
He scoffed, getting up from his hiding place with a hand to his chest in an offended manner. There was no way you seriously just spoke to him like this?? Where has this side of you come from?? You've always been so sweet and obedient with him!
He was speechless, not a word left his opened mouth. How could you speak to him like some loser. Like those dorks in your class!!
"nothing to say?"
You ask with your hands on your hips. He was sassy, but you knew how to play sassy as well. He crossed his arms and looked away from you. Not daring to utter a word. You kind of liked this side of him, the side that didn't talk back to you. It suited him. A pretty face with such pretty lips need to be shut sometimes. He looks better when he sits there and looks pretty.
You smirk and push him down onto his bed, he lets out a sound as you crawl on top of his lap and put both of your hands on his chest.
"my pretty boy.~"
He was a flushed mess, he opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish, he was stunned that you'd just done this to him. He was always the one to take the lead and initiate things!! He hated how much he didn't mind you being on top.
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B. katsuki.
Katsuki Bakugou, the world's sassiest man. The way he walks with a sway to his hips, the way he stands, the way he just exists unapologetically is enviable to all. Some envied his tiny snatched waist while others envied the fire behind his eyes. He loved being a hero but he loved his girlfriend more.
He loved you so much, so dearly he had no problem with admitting it either. However he hated, absolutely despised when you caught an attitude with him like he doesn't treat you like a queen.
He was absolutely appalled when you started bitching and yelling at him, waving your arms about and threatening to slap the fuck out of him. He scoffed with wide eyes and a smile like he was daring you to. He wasn't afraid to hit you back by all means, however he loved you too much to bring you into harms way in any kind. So he wouldn't actually hit you but throwing you against things, oh yeah that was an option.
"like honestly katsuki could you be more stupid?"
"bitch? Me, stupid? Hah! You're hilarious! Actually, you deserve an award for your humor honestly, how do you do it."
He jokes slapping his knee with an angry smile still plastered on his beautiful face. God you hated how he had such an effect on you despite how furious you were with him. He knew the huge effect he had on and used it to his advantage.
He smirked and pulled you by your waist mid sentence, you were yelling at him and your fiery words were instantly cut off by the way he looked at you, the way he touched you, the way he moved slightly closer to you face his breath fanning over your face. He peered down at you with those volcanic ruby red eyes of his, daring you to do something anything. He wanted it.
"fucking asshole."
"I could fuck yours if you'd like, yeah?"
God you hated how much you loved him. He was an asshole, but he was yours. He never took you seriously when the two of you argued or when you got an attitude with him. You knew this and it angered you, but you could never stay angry with him because he'd always fuck it out of you like he hated you.
He pulled you into a passionate kiss still having that shit eating smirk on his face once he pulled away holding his forehead to yours as he chuckled lowly.
"you hate me."
"so fucking much."
You say pulling him into a heated kiss, walking backward towards his bed so he could fuck you like a slut.
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AN: chat this was the worst thing I've ever made, I don't think I made them sassy at all, except katsuki anything he does is sassy. however I low-key love how mean I made izuku, I js feel like after his vigilante arc and the war he's a different person, like he's still a sweetie pie but he doesn't take shit from anyone me thinks.
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neuvistar · 2 years ago
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ASS, TITS OR THIGHS?
— featuring ┊satoru gojo, toji fushiguro, suguru geto, kento nanami, choso kamo x fem!reader (all separate)
— warnings / content warnings ┊suggestive obvi, not proofread oops, cunnilingus, uhm uhm use of nicknames, riding, mentions of titfucking, overall suggestive content | 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
— a/n ┊jujutsu kaisen hyperfixation got the best of me guys i betrayed u all and accidentally became a gojo + sukuna liker i’m sorry. apology coming soon /j 😔
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𖦹 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎
let’s be real here.. i know damn well this guy is definitely a tit man. cmon it’s just this feeling in me that can sense this guy’s love for titties, he’s the number one tit lover guys im telling you! i bet gojo is def the type to stand behind you and tower over you) at random times and slowly slip his large hands into your shirt, squeezing your tits like it’s the most casual thing for him! of course you wouldn’t mind.. so you would just carry on with whatever you were doing. up until he nuzzles against your nape, inhaling your scent as his fingers tug and pinch at your sensitive nipples, smirking against your skin when he hears you whimper at his touch. this guy makes your head spin sometimes it’s actually insane. “ooh. they’re soft.” “that’s how they’re supposed to be, dumbass” ngl i feel like gojo would love your tits for the dumbest reason ever, like since he’s rlly rlly tall i feel like he would like your tits all because “they’re easier to reach” LMFAO he’s so silly! this guy probably love’s embarrassing you sometimes cuz he would grab your tits literally ANYWHERE (if ur fine w it ofc) in conclusion.. he loves seeing you all embarrassed whenever he brings a hand to cup your tits in his hand!
gojo here loves stuffing his face in your tits, he doesn’t care.. it’s the ocean he wants to dive into 2nite lol! anyways sometimes during sweet little cuddle sessions he would straight up pull you up by your hips and press himself closer against your body before leaning down to drown his face in the softness your tits, cmon.. can you blame him? but anyways! gojo loves your titties regardless.. big or small, small or big, he’ll still be willing to shove his face in ‘em! he definitely has a thing for titfucking, you just.. look so hot laying there all sweet for him, squeezing your tits against his hard cock while he thrusts in between them, trying his best not to overdo it. “f—fuck.. they’re so soft.. so perfect. no one has ever fucked your tits like this like i have right, angel? mhm? look at them.. s’pretty and all mine.” he pinched your nipples rather harshly, forcing a whine to leave your pretty lips. “all mine, yeah?”
𖦹 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎
look me in the eyes and tell me toji fushiguro doesn’t look like the ultimate ass man ever, cmon tell me! are we really surprised tho? are we REALLY surprised? he looks like the biggest ass man known to mankind it’s not even funny at this point he loves ass he mfing does i tell you. this old hag probably steals a few glances at your ass from time to time whenever you wear a skirt.. or a dress for special occasions, toji cant control himself bro it’s not his fault you had allat back there.. it’s not his fault for looking it was an accident! (no it was not and you knew it) ngl the first time he caught a glimpse of your ass he probably said “damn.” so loudly, loud and clear for you to hear. “damn.” you heard a familiar voice behind you, glancing over your shoulder to see your boyfriend’s intense gaze at your bottom. “i knew your ass was nice but i didn’t know it was this nice.. damnn.” “oh shut up, will you?” idk abt u guys but toji is probably the type to slap it while you walk past him sometimes.. like it’s so unexpected you just straight up flinch and glare up at him, rubbing it to try and ease the pain bc i bet his slaps HURT sometimes
toji 100% a fan of you taking it from the back.. he loves it! i mean do i need to explain further? though he loves seeing your facial expressions to see just how well he fucks you but i feel like he prefers to see your ass and well-defined back. you have this man in a TRANCE. no matter how hard he tries to focus on you, his eyes always manage to wander down to your rear. he loves pounding into you mercilessly like there’s no tomorrow just to see the jiggle physics of yo ass because gahhh dayummmm he loves the way it moves, my guy probably spanks too i’m telling u this dude loves ass, especially yours.. it’s an unhealthy obsession at this point idk what to tell u 🤷‍♀️
𖦹 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎
suguru def a thigh man, i don’t even know my reasoning but he just screams thigh man.. like he seems like the type to love them ykwim? like he just loves diving into them any time he gets, holding your thighs against his hands while he pushes them to your chest. he def loves eating you out just so he can feel your thighs caging around his head, he loves how soft they are, how warm they feel whenever he gives them a little squeeze. personally i bet this fucker is probably a lil crazy about your thighs, just a little bit! whenever you sit on his face, he pushes you even more against his mouth. his tongue is talented that’s all i have to say, suguru doesn’t give two fucks if he can’t breath against your overstimulated pussy, he wants you to crush him with your pretty thighs thighs.. he wants your thighs to be the last thing he feels + sees before he suffocates and dies a happy man! suguru would keep you spread on his face, not caring about anything else in the world but you and your plushy thighs around his head. buddy probably eats you out like it’s his last, squeezing and helping your thighs trap his face in between them. god, he loves your thighs
suguru wrapped his lips around your pussy again, forcefully pulling you even closer until his nose was bumping against your clit, was that even possible? “s—su.. suguru!” one orgasm, then the next.. and the next after that, he hasn’t even came up for air.. you were worried at how much your thighs caged around his head, worrying about suffocating further. you tried pulling yourself up, looking down at him as your lips quivered. “suguru you okay?—“ no. he was most definitely not! he was struggling 2 breath but he didn’t give TWO FUCKS!! “your thighs.. feel so warm around me. sit back down, princess. i’m not done.. ‘wanna feel your pretty thighs against me again.” “.. but are you sure? you were struggling to breathe i could feel it—“ “sit, princess. i said sit. do i need to repeat myself?” no siiiirrr 🙅‍♀️
𖦹 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈
ngl out of everyone here nanami is the most “normal” and tamed if this question ever comes along, my guy would probably answer with something like “they’re just body parts. is there even a reason to pay attention to female assets?” uhm. no obviously not but they’re hot ++ the question is important smartass. tbh i feel like nanami wouldn’t really care, he just.. appreciates you for being there by his side, he wouldn’t really care much about your body and what he likes about it, cuz babe he loves everything about you! such a sweetheart! but in all seriousness, i feel like he’d really be into your tits for some reason.. i mean come on! sometimes if he’s feeling a lil extra EXTRA bold be would sneak a few glances towards your cleavage, swallowing the lump in his throat as he notices you didn’t have a bra on that day. nanami would literally fight for his life and try his best to restrain himself n his desires every single time he would see you in any outfit that shows your cleavage.
i bet there was this one time you guys were about to cook together n you needed help with the apron so he helped you tie it, but then his hand accidentally brushed against your breast LMFAO. poor guy would realize slowly after and start contemplating his whole life and life decisions, apologizing to you sincerely and that he didn’t mean to do that! “kento seriously it’s fine, i don’t mind! if you wanted to touch them, you could’ve said so.” “i told you it was an accident, love. it’s not like that at all.” you chuckled at him before grabbing his hand and slowly bringing it close to your tits, making him touch em as the soft skin of your tits melt into his palm. “soft right?” you cooed, wincing a little when you felt his thumb brushing against your hardened nipple. “..mm.” cmon kento ⁉️ don’t be in denial! accept yourself as a certified tittie liker!
𖦹 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎
tbh this guy could love all three of these, like there is not a single part of you he loves more than the other but if he really had to choose.. he would probably be fond of your ass, making him a semi ass man despite him.. probably liking all three! but then again.. lemme just say.. i know an ass/tit man when i see one (n he looks like one but my pick for today is ass) poor choso probably caught himself looking at your ass for a whole minute and he had to slap himself for a second to get himself back to reality, he can’t help it! your body is so hypnotic to him. i bet he’s also the type to give your bottom little taps and pokes whenever he needs something from you (damn) ++ my guy is probably a fan of you taking it from the back also, just like toji! listen listen okay. listen. reverse cowgirl position. lemme tell u he gets SOOO flustered whenever you ride him with your back turned against him, bouncing yourself on his cock while he can’t help but look down at your ass and how much it moved (lolz!) and how well your cunt was sucking him in! choso probably the type to bring a hand up to pull your hair, running his fingers through your hair as he tugs your back to him with your back arched, planting soft chaste kisses on your neck
choso doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable in anyway so he absolutely refuses to even plant a lil smack to your ass, even just a soft one! he would hold himself back n wouldn’t do it unless you wanted him too! if you do.. expect a lot of them coming your way because i bet he loves seeing your ass jiggle LIKEEE ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY NO MORE i bet his cock would twitch inside you every single fucking time he would see the jiggle physics of your ass! like i said.. he’s a fan of you taking it from the back! jiggle physics go absolutely craaaaazy 😝🙏
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slut4sugu · 5 months ago
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𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍- ( nsfw + sfw alphabet: Spencer Reid)
mentions of: sex positions, choking, of giving head, some slight fluff, but of an msub!spence
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A- AFTERCARE (what he’s like after sex.)
Absolute sweetheart; immediately makes sure you drink water and draws you a bath while you rest. He comes to join you after putting a new set of sheets on your shared bed. “Don’t pout angel, im right here okay?”
Peppers kisses on your face and whispers old poems in your ear as you drift off to sleep.
B- BODY (his partners favorite body part.)
Spencer loves all of you equally; your breasts, your thighs, your ass, all of you. However if her was being honest with himself it would be your voice/ your face. Hearing and see you make such naughty noises with that love drunk look on your face was unfair. The
C- CUDDLING ( big spoon or little?)
both; tho he wouldn’t admit it he loves being the little spoon a bit more, not because he doesn’t like holding you. God does he ever, holding you calms any hypotheticals or concerns he has. Soothes his ever busy mind and makes him feel so at peace.
D-DICK SIZE (how big is he)
Yknow how they say it’s always the quiet ones? Yeah, spence is not anything small. He’s 7.5 soft 8.7 looks like 9 kinda when hard. Trimmed, and it’s flushed pink with a mushroom tip. Very sensitive on the underside of his shaft <33
E- EXPERIENCE ( how experienced is he?)
Now I have a strong belief in the fact that Spence here is a virgin, however that does not mean he’s entirely inexperienced. He might read a bunch of books but the if we’re talking biological books? You know he’s read atleast 200 of those alone. So let’s just say finding your g spot wouldn’t be as hard as your past ex boyfriends made it out to be.
F- FAVORITE POSITION( self explanatory.)
Missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, ie any position that lets him stare into your pretty eyes as he makes love to you.
G- GOOD ( how good are they in bed?)
9.9/10 only reason why spence isn’t a 10 is became he tends to stop mid thrust just to memorize your expression. You’ll literally be on the edge and he’ll just stop to get a good look of your euphoric expression. You almost think it’s partially because he likes hearing you beg for more, but he’d never admit that <3
H- HUGS ( how does he hug? )
in public a quick tight normal hug, usually only lasting 7 seconds but if it’s just you and the team it’s a bit longer. Or until Morgan starts to tease Reid. In private however it’s all types of hugs. Back hugs, bear hugs, princess twirl hugs, any hug there is he’s done it Atleast twice in the hour that he’s come home.
I- INTIMACY ( how romantic is he? )
Very. You know good and well that Spencer doesn’t just take sex as some spur of the moment kind of thing. Each time he makes love to you he makes sure to do just, make love to you. Not focus on his own orgasm, no. Your pleasure is his pleasure. He’s literally cum before just from eating you out.
J- JERK OFF (how often does he self pleasure?)
I’m a strong believer in the idea that he’s never really touched himself like that before until you came into the picture, he just didn’t see the point of it. But when he started having lewd thoughts about you that weren’t exactly professional. Once or twice a month was the norm for him.
K- KISS ( what’s it like kissing him?)
Sweet and methodical; time is something that Reid always takes slow with you. On days when he’s a bit pent up he still takes his time, however his tongue slips into your mouth a bit faster than usual.
L- LOCATION ( where does he like to do it )
In the comforts of his own home; listen while I LOVE the stories/fics of workplace sex w Spencer but I honestly just don’t think that would happen. Love the idea but would it happen, I honestly don’t think so. The most I’d think Spence would even do is finger you in a library under a table.
M- MOAN (moaner, grunter, whiner or begger?)
Spencer can be downright slutty when it comes to moans when he gets into it. Give him two bjs back to back and he’s as horny as a porn star. Whimpering, moaning, and begging for god knows what. It’s honestly surprising and such a turn on to see Dr. Spencer Reid with his head thrown back begging for more of you. Anywhere however, he just needs you now.
N- NO’s (turns off for him.)
Suggesting to do it in public, asking him to hurt you (now I don’t mean choking because done right I feel as though he’d be into it), asking him to degrade you, (his limit is probably calling you a needy slut)
O- ORAL ( does he like giving or receiving more? )
giving; that’s just a given. While the site of you on your knees for him is ethereal, he loves servicing you even more. The feeling of your thighs clamping around his head as you cum, your manicured hands gripping his hair. It’s all so…perfect.
P-PACE ( how fast is he ? )
It all depends on the situation: if you’re needy = deep, slow. If you been bratty = fast, but he’s edging you. If you’ve had a bad day? = whatever you want <3
Q- QUICKES ( self explanatory )
he’d only do this if he was in the middle of pleasuring you already; and he got a call from work when your on the edge of an orgasm/ close to one. What makes you clench impossibly tighter though is the fact that he’s still pumping his fingers in and out of your puffy cunt while discussing the basic details of the case with JJ. Purposely hitting that sweet gummy spot to make if harder for you to stay quiet <33
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flippinpancakes64 · 6 months ago
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cullens w/ a reader who lovesss to cuddle?
The Cullens with a Cuddly S/O
Currently fighting the sleep demons rn so Idk if this will even make sense but whatever full send
Thank you for requesting and I hope you like this
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Edward:
We already know he's down
I mean like half of the first book/movie is him watching Bella sleep
He just likes to be nearby
So cuddling up to your side is no burden to him
He'll ask a lot if you're too cold or if you want him to move
He just wants you to be comfortable
After you've established that you do, indeed, like his cuddles, expect them all the time
If the time or place allows him to be right by your side, he is there
"Hey I just rented a new movie, do you wanna come over and watch it?"
"What movie?"
"Uh-"
"I'm on my way, have my blankets ready."
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Alice:
She's a pretty energetic person
So I feel like she'd need to either be doing something or talking
So yes she will cuddle, but she needs the TV on
Or she needs to be talking your ear off
She loves being so close though
She's like a lizard she loves the warmth
She doesn't mind if you fall asleep, she'll keep talking
But especially if it's late at night, she loves being so close to you
Btw she's the little spoon or literally laying on top of you
I would recommend investing in a nice heated blanket
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Jasper:
I have a feeling he'd love it
He strikes me as the type to be able to stare at a wall for hours on end and not get bored
So he doesn't mind laying with you the whole night
He would lay in one spot for days if you wanted him to
He would be so happy when you asked him the first time though
He has a bit of a hard time grasping that you actually do love him, so small reminders like this go a long way
Is another one who's hyper-aware
Constantly making sure you're comfortable
He would find your even breaths and calm mind soothing
It's his new favorite couples activity btw
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Rosalie:
I've mentioned it before but I think she's active at all hours
Either she's at school, hunting, or working on her cars
She just doesn't like to be bored
So cuddling isn't her favorite
Not to say she won't do it
Just that she won't do it for super long stretches of time
She'll cuddle for a movie, or until you go to sleep
But then she likes to get back to doing something
It's understandable, you can go to sleep, she can't
If you ask her to, though, she will stay the whole night
And she won't complain
She also doesn't have a preference on cuddling position
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Emmett:
He's definitely more into like casual cuddling
Does that make sense?
Like he loves holding you close on the couch while he's watching a game
And he loves sitting you in his lap when he's playing a card game or doing homework
But he doesn't really like laying in bed for hours
So sort of similar to Rosalie
He just gets restless
He's squirmy too
He wakes you up throughout the night because he moves so much
Cruel injustice
But on the bright side, if he was able to sleep he'd be a loud ass snorer so at least you don't have to deal with that
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Esme:
She would be another snuggle enjoyer
She loves the closeness of it
It makes her feel so connected to you
And she has no qualms about when or where
It's the middle of the day and she's outside working on the garden but you want to cuddle?
Okay just let her shower first
She would prefer to be the little spoon
Idk why that's just how it is
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Carlisle:
Carlisle "Cuddle" Cullen
Anytime, anywhere
He just misses you a lot when he's at work
So he loves to make up for lost time by having you right there with him
Loves doing paperwork with you in his lap
Or having his arms around you at all times
And of course he will lay with you for the whole night
He tends to lay on his back
But that's just his natural
He will move however you need him to
He only cuddles fully clothed tho
He knows he's cold
So he knows you will need the extra layers between you two
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Vampire! Bella:
She's always down
Sleeping is one of the things she misses the most about being human
So laying there with you while you sleep is the closest she can get to the real thing
She likes to cuddle while facing you
Face to face yk
But her one bad habit is that she forgets that she is freezing
Chronically puts her hands under your shirt or her toes behind your knees
"Ah! Cold!"
"Shit, sorry"
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redr0sewrites · 11 months ago
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s. sub vox headcanons please…. i need that tv man so bad its not even FUNNY
YESSSS MY INBOX HAS BEEN LITERALLY FLOODED W SUB VOX EVER SINCE I MADE THAT POST HAHA
🥀Cw: smut, dom!reader, marking, overstimulation, praise, degradation
🥀 Pt 2 Sounding Hcs Here
🥀minors dni
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this man is a SPOILED switch
vox genuinely thinks hes a dom until he meets you, he's used to being dominant and has probably never tried being a sub
his ego gets in the way a little at first, he thinks it's embarrassing
however, once you begin to ease him into it, he's no longer embarrassed about the fact that hes subbing... hes embarrassed about how much he enjoys it
vox is so bratty, especially in the beginning
he has to trust you a lot to truly submit, and that takes time
he'll be very demanding, he'll try to touch himself without permission, he'll boss you around, he'll directly disobey commands, all in the effort of pissing you off
little does he know that you aren't giving up
PUNISH HIM. vox has a huge humiliation kink, fuck him in front of a mirror or in his monitor room where he can see himself from all anges, its so embarrassing to him and he'll probably short circuit
better yet, video tape it (w consent ofc) and play it for him later to fluster him
vox loves it when you talk dirty, hes def the type to have a voice kink
vox is also the type to be incredibly sensitive imo, and he gets overstimulated veryyyy easily bc of that
the easiest way for to you break down his bratty, bossy layer is to overstimulate him until he's sobbing
he has to really trust you tho
as much as vox likes your degradation, he LOVES youre praise
this man is constantly under stress, and is always hungry for control, so having someone else take it away from him can be very relieving for him
tell him how good he's doing, how good he's making you feel, and his mind goes all fuzzy <3
honestly once you slip into praise vox is practically GONE, he slips into subspace so easily when it comes to the overstimulating pleasure you're providing and combined with the praising? he's done for
vox always wants his hands on you, but he's so touchy and forgets how sharp his nails are, so you often have to restrain him
he likes seeing you covered in scratches tho, and also secretly likes it when you leave hickeys or scratches on his skin. ESPECIALLY when they're visible- it ties in with the humiliation kink ig, but if anyone ever noticed or pointed it out he'd prob cause a blackout with how flustered he'd get
speaking of getting flustered, vox glitches and whimpers when he moans, and his screen will often flush or grow static-y
the lights and electronics often flicker or go out when he cums, and he often cums so hard he glitches out and cuts the wifi (much to val and vels annoyance)
vox likes receiving more than giving, and LOVES blow jobs- it can be a little hard for him to give oral (lmao) but he loves bjs so so so much
theres something so pleasurable about just laying back and doing nothing but whimper and claw at the sheets as you suck him dry, and he cries from pleasure every time
VOX LOVES IT WHEN U SUCK HIM OFF WHILE HES WORKING, BUT HE NEVER ACTUALLY GETS ANY WORK DONE AND SPENDS THE WHOLE TIME SHAKING AND TRYING NOT TO THRUST INTO YOURE MOUTH
vox is also def a squirmer, like he'll shudder and whine over the gentlest touches. y'all also have to change the bedding like eveytime you have sex cuz he literally CLAWS at the sheets and moves around a LOT
simple solution? shibari
he loves/hates being tied up because its soooo humiliating and it gives you complete control
speaking of control, he finds it really hot when you're pissed or acting dominant outside of the bedroom
sometimes (alot of times) he'll try to intentionally piss you off just so you'll fuck him senseless
at the end of long work days, he either wants to be gently praised and taken care of while you both make love or fucked absolutely senseless until he can't even remember why he was upset and can only helplessly babble and whine
vox goes incoherent super easily and it only embarrasses him more that he can't get words out
he def owns a lot (and i mean a LOT) of sex toys and likes it when u use them on him
some nights he just wants to lay back while you try them all out on him
HES INTO SOUNDING AND YES I WILL ELABORATE IF ASKED <333
just the thought of u filling every one of his holes and overstimulating him from every angle makes him horny
he def will want you to use a remote control vibrator during meetings, he gets off on the humiliation
however with all of his baggage w valentino and shit, he def likes being treated sweetly too
some days he needs to get out of his head and be forced into submission and put into place, but others he needs to be pampered and praised and treated like glass
vox is much more emotional on these days and is a lot more clingy during these softer sessions
talk him through his orgasm, he'll probably start crying and let out the prettiest whimpers- he just cant help it, you make him feel so good :(
overall, he can be both super bratty and super submissive at the same time and is one kinky mf
humiliation is absolutely his biggest kink, followed in no particular order by bondage, a voice kink, praise, marking/claiming, DRY HUMPING (again i will absolutely elaborate if asked... hehe), and being put in his place
YALLLLLL IK THIS IS SO SHORT BUT I HAVE LIKE 6 OTHER SUB VOX REQS IN MY INBOX RN WHERE I WILL DEF BE GOING INTO MORE DETAILED SCENARIOS HEHE I LOVE HIMMMMM!!! I'LL PROB DO MORE IN DEPTH LIKE GENERAL HCS FOR HIM SOON WITH HIS DOM SIDE AS WELL CUZ THIS MANS THE WORLDS BIGGEST SWITCH- ANYWAYS HOPE U ENJOYEDDDD FEEL FREE TO SEND IN MORE REQS >:D
UPDATE: ELABORATION (basically pt 2 w sounding hcs) HERE
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blue-jisungs · 11 months ago
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PLSPLSPLS do the sleeping w plushies FOR SVT PREFORMANCE UNIT 🙏🙏🙏💕💕
you still sleep with plushies ♡
author's note. here u go! hope you like it <3
you can find vocal unit ver here, hhu here
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┆彡 SOONYOUNG [ 순영 ]
im sorry but this man believes he’s a tiger and you’re not making a fuss about it…
so why would he mind your plushies?
actually, he thinks it’s so so cute and it was one of the first things that he noticed in your apartment
he often talks "through" them (?) like,, he’ll grab a plushie n be like
"sooyoungie told me he wants a kiss…"
cries.
anyways.
he won’t admit it but he loves the feeling of your warmth and your plushies surrounding him when u two fall asleep together
sometimes steals one or two when they’re about to go on tour
and actually makes it his life mission to bring you a new plushie (preferably tiger one) from each place you/they visit
in no time you’ll have to find a new storage because your bed started running out of place…
┆彡 JUNHUI [ 文俊辉 ]
i’m so sorry but he was very flabbergasted at first when you told him that one day
"plushies… like… plush animals? like, those for kids?" he repeated, frowning
no mf, rocks. of course plushies as in—
he noticed your mood got a little down by his reaction :(
and sure, he was surprised because he never stumbled upon a grown person still sleeping with plushies but it wasn’t like he minded?!
so he suddenly left your place, saying that he’ll buy some snacks
and he comes back with like,, a bag of plushies ☹️☹️☹️ and snacks too.
he apologizes n explains himself and you’re just so taken aback that he has to shake your arms <\\3
n then you two spend the rest of the evening naming the plushies he bought,, obviously falling asleep w them too
and… he’d rather die than admit it…. but he started to like this
n he started a small collection at home too… 🥹
┆彡 MINGHAO [ 徐明浩 ]
when you first started dating, you’d usually sleep over at his place (because it’s a mf villa u can do whatever u want there lmao)
but one day hao shot u a text that he’s gonna be over at yours in 10 with his pjs
so you texted him: "i have weird sleeping habits tho… i still sleep with plushies…"
and mans genuinely went "so?"
like, he couldn’t care less in a good way,, yk?
he’s been living with 12 guys for a couple of years now…. what is a bunch of stuffed animals to him?
ever since then you transferred some of your babies over to his place so they were there just in case hehe
and he loves that,, he’ll hug them if you’re not sleeping together :(
also will punch them occasionally,, like a cute aggression 😭 never tells u that tho….
┆彡 CHAN [ 찬 ]
honestly when chan saw your plushies for the first time his eyes went as wide as a kid’s eyes in a candy store
he genuinely thinks it’s so cool !!
"omg y/nnie those are all yours?! and this one is your childhood one? and this is from the arcade date?! huh— you named this one after me???” (and it’s an otter btw)
he’s so obsessed 🥹
will steal some of them n just carry em around, sometimes pulls a plushie out when practicing alone
because the guys laughed at him because of that… welp,, they did until you joined them for practice one day and there was a sad pout forming on your lips when mingyu teased chan about "how silly that plushie looks"
(then chan made them apologize to you and it may have been one of those moments when the maknae was scarier than the leader >:) )
chan also developed a habit of buying every plushie in sight that reminds him of you OR he thinks he’d like
especially if you have like an fav pokemon or tv show character,, literally whatever – he’ll buy it the second his eyes land upon it
anything to make his partner happy 🥹
(deffo bought this big ass teddy bear too and until this day it sits proudly in your bedroom <3 )
masterlist <3
taglist. @mirxzii ,, @primoppang ,, @l3visbby ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @eternalgyu ,, @rubywonu ,, @haecien ,, @mine-gyu
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