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ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused · 3 months ago

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could u pls write a fic about a plus sized reader noticing Spencer doesnt look at her alot so one morning she wears lingerie and a see through robe and she teases him until he just takes her on the couch?

༉‧₊˚. 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 || 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝

— pairing: spencer reid x plus size!reader

— summary: listen, it wasn't that you didn't love the domestic life with spencer, but god, you just really missed being touched (and penelope has a solution).

— warnings: uhh this is almost 3k of pwp firstly, penelope being the best wingwoman to ever exist, lingerie, teasing, unprotected sex, couch sex, vaginal sex, sub!spencer reid, dom!reader, kind of switch spencer and reader at the end, riding, heavy petting, subspace if you squint, mentions of oral sex (m and f rec), the reader is lowkey a freak (and penelope instigates it), clothed sex, the reader is dressed and spencer isn't, i held myself back from including a mommy kink, but that's the best you're getting from me, a lack of foreplay (be considerate folks), consent kink, praise kink.

— wc: 2817

⋆ a/n: HEY SO i really let this get away from me in the sense of this was meant to kind of be dom!spencer but i blinked and all of a 2k was written of sub!spencer so yikes!! but i really enjoyed writing this, it's been literally forever since i've written pwp so... here ya go!! i'm trying to be more organized with uploading because i really want to clear out my drafts before starting any new projects.

masterlist | AO3

“Pen, have you ever seen those TikToks where it’s like ‘he has a whole woman in his bed yet he’s playing World of Warcraft’ or some shit like that?” You ask the phone that’s tucked under your chin.

You’re in the middle of putting up laundry, but a feeling of unrest bubbled beneath your skin.

Penelope laughs, “And let me guess, that’s how you feel right now?”

You sigh, looking down at the shirt that refuses to turn inside out. You throw it back in the hamper with a huff before grabbing a pair of – Spencer’s – jeans.

“I just – I’m not with Spencer for just sex, you know that, but it’s been like… forever since I’ve gotten any.” You can’t even listen to yourself talk.

“We’ve been in this like… domestic bliss stage, and while I love waking up to breakfast in bed and giggly showers, I’m horny and every time he does something so normal – something that shouldn’t even be considered sexy – I have to hold myself back from jumping his bones.”

Penelope lets out a rather unattractive chortle, but she continues. “Listen sister, while I love the Boy Genius as much as the next person, he’s kinda dense. With all those brains, he’s rather hard-headed when it comes to romance.”

“I know, I know, and those are one of the reasons why I love him! The denseness is cute, but I’m starting to think I sabotaged myself.” You look down longingly at the MIT t-shirt. Spencer was away at the office right now, so that means whatever conversation you were having with the colorful woman on the other end was completely inappropriate.

“You know what I think?” She starts. “Oh God.” You sigh fondly. “Oh, hush! Don’t even act like my ideas aren’t good! Anyway… If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being quite the seductress myself, is that at the end of the day a man is a man, and they can be reduced down to their most primal instincts.”

“What are you saying?” You inquire curiously with furrowed eyebrows. “I’m saying that you gotta work with what ya mama gave ya! Men are dumb, they see a tit or a nice ass and they lose all cognitive function. So what I’m saying is to put on some lingerie and act like a little minx! Guys love it when you tease them and act like you don’t know what you’re doing! It’s about the chase, my fellow curvaceous protege.”

“So you’re saying to… seduce him?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying – Oh! Good morning sir! Yes, sorry, I’ll call you back when I’ve got the answer to what you need… yes okay bye-bye!” And with that, you’re left listening to the silence.

You laugh, shaking your head in exasperation before taking a seat on the bed.

Seduce him, huh? The notion almost seems ridiculous, but it really isn’t that far fetched. You’ve had sex with Spencer before, you know how his brain works, what gets him needy and what parts of you turn him on. Maybe it’s not such a bad idea.

You don’t really own any lingerie, because for one, the material that’s supposedly the back of your underwear gets swallowed by your ass, and two, Spencer’s never complained about your granny panties. But hey, it doesn’t hurt to look right?

Okay, seduce Spencer Reid is a go.

Taking one last scrutinizing look in the bathroom mirror, you leave quietly, walking into the kitchen and pouring yourself a glass of coffee. Liquid courage as they say.

The light pink sheer robe hangs off of your ample form, the fuzz on the edge of your sleeves getting in your way and irritating you. God, if this doesn’t work, a woman by the name of Penelope Garcia is going to find herself six feet underground.

Spencer sat on the couch slipping his feet into a pair of mismatched socks – you’ve stopped trying to organize them a while ago – tucking them into his converse. He’s off today, probably having plans with the bookstore and the park before offering to make the both of you dinner. It’s endearing to say the least, but food is not something you're hungry for.

“So, what’s on the agenda for today?” You ask before taking a sip of your coffee. He hasn’t looked up, but you’re facing him now, your scantily clad body exposed by the thin satin of your white bra and underwear. A devil in disguise (you hope).

“Hmm, I was thinking about playing chess in the park for an hour or two before going to the bookstore. A new novel about quantum physics just came out, and even though it’ll probably be about stuff I already know, I’m always willing to look at it from a different perspec…” Spencer finally looked up, his sentence slurring a bit. “...tive.”

“Ah! That sounds exciting! I’ll text you what I want for dinner later if that’s okay? Or would you rather I go shopping with you?”

He blinks, his mouth hanging open intelligently, as though he’s still trying to process exactly what he’s seeing. “Yes. I mean no - I mean… I… what are you wearing?”

You spare a lazy look down, as though you had forgotten you even had the thing on.

“Oh this? It’s just really hot in the apartment today. So make sure you bring some sunscreen and a fan, yeah? Don’t want you getting a sunburn or having a heat stroke.”

“I - I’ve never seen that set before, is it new?” He stammers. You click your tongue as if you genuinely had to date the outfit back, when in reality the tags to the set itself sits pretty in the bathroom trash can. “I have no idea honestly, it looked comfortable though, so I just slipped it on. You don’t mind, right?”

“I… no. I don’t.”

You beam at him, “Perfect. Oh! Let me make you some coffee before you go, I know how hard it is for you to start your day without it.”

You turn back around, and you could hear Spencer fruitlessly swallow a gasp. The back of your underwear might as well have been a piece of string, because your ass cheeks were basically eating the material. It was uncomfortable, but oh well, beauty is pain.

You smirk in victory, pulling out a medium sized thermos and pouring the rest of the liquid in it.

You didn’t hear him move, let alone walk behind you, but two large hands placed themselves respectively on your hips, the man tucking his face in the side of your neck. You shiver at the hot blow of air that escapes through his nose, and his grip on your skin turns a little tighter.

“What are you doing?” The question is mumbled, but you don’t miss it. “What does it look like? I’m making you coffee, silly.” He huffs. “No. I mean what are you doing to me?”

He presses forward, pushing his half hard cock between your cheeks. It was your turn to gasp, and you couldn’t help but put down the pot of coffee, pushing the now full thermos away to avoid any future hazards.

You hold on to the edge of the counter, tilting your head further to the side to give the needy man more access. He takes the hint, peppering sweet, heated kisses on the sensitive skin of your throat. You shiver once more, sighing out a smile.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You know lying is useless, especially with the way your voice sounded so breathless. “You know you’re a terrible liar.” It was a playful dig, and his palms had begun to move, pushing on your full stomach to put more of your weight on him.

“Hm, but you don’t know every single thing I have in the closet, now do you?” You remark, yelping when he nipped at your earlobe. “Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong and you know it.” You do. “Do I?”

“This is terrible foreplay.” He jokes and you giggle. “I’d say I’m doing a pretty good job, don’t you think?” You push your hips back and add a bit of friction onto his cock. He groans and you feel your pussy pulse.

“You always do a good job.” Spencer murmurs.

You’re turned around so you can face him, and you wish you could take a picture to savor the look on his face. He’s beet red, cheeks and ears flushed a beautiful hue that leaves a twinge of pride pooling in your stomach.

He cups your face, drawing you in for a long awaited kiss.

You sigh into him, hands twisting at the sleeves of his cardigan to pull him closer. He lets you in exchange of pushing you against the counter until your lower back is digging uncomfortably into the marble.

“Where do you wanna go?” He finally breathes. You stare at him as if you were in a daze before processing his question with a blink. “Couch?” You ask. “Whatever you want.” He says before joining your lips together once more.

He walks the both of you backwards slowly, and he takes advantage of when your mouth parts in a moan as he flicks his tongue against the top of your lip. He tastes like toothpaste and you might be a little crazy to think that it makes him way sexier than it should.

Your eyes flutter open and you push him away with hands on his chest gently.

“Do you trust me?” You gasp.

“Of course.”

“Good.” You say with a smirk.

You make sure he’s close enough to the edge of the couch when you push him on it, quickly clambering onto his lap and settling your hands on his shoulders; his fall naturally to your waist and you grin.

“Hi.” You whisper quietly. “Hey.” He responds back just as hushed. “You can grab my ass, you know.” You tease and his eyes widen just slightly. “I…” You guide his palms to hold the meat of your ass and he grips.

“God.” It tumbles from his lips in a whimper and you fucking melt.

“Sorry I’ve been such a tease today, Spencie.” You say sweetly with a fake pout. “I just needed you so bad and you’ve been so, so sweet to me, my sweet boy. I didn’t want to ruin it by asking you to fuck me stupid.”

“You wouldn’t have ruined it.” He corrects with a whine. You had begun to grind down on him and he gripped you tightly, helping you rut against him. “No?” You question. He shakes his head quickly, his hair bouncing along with the swings.

“No. ‘Would’ve done anything you asked.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“So, if I asked you to let me suck your dick until I’ve sucked the soul out of you, would you have let me? How about if I asked you to eat my pussy for breakfast, huh? Would you have done it?”

“Yes, yes, God yes! I want to… I wanna do all those things so badly.” He groans, all but pawing at you now.

“I bet you do,” You coo. “I guess I haven’t been the only one pent up. But that’s okay, because I’ve got you, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You smile, leaning in to give him a kiss before traveling downwards to his belt and wrangling it open. You popped open the buttons of his jeans, sliding back so you can tug them down his legs.

“Up.” You command softly and he obliges.

You’re faced with his hardened cock bulging from under his black underwear.

“Oh… is this for me?” You know you’re being mean when you drag your fingertips over the spot where precum has begun to pool, only putting slight pressure on it just to hear that sweet sound of his breath hitching.

“Yes – it’s all for you.” Spencer whines and throws his head back against the couch. “All for me? My goodness…” You trail off as you drag his underwear down his thighs. His cock springs up and bobbles against his clothed stomach.

“Can I –” He licks his lips, “Can I take my shirt off?”

“Of course, my love.” You were just about to ask him anyway.

As he rids himself of his top you get up for a split second to take his pants and underwear off fully. As you go to undress yourself, he stops you.

“W— wait… keep it on please.”

“Oh? You wanna be nasty and pull my panties to the side, huh? Dirty dirty boy.” You tisk, but in reality you feel like you’re about to explode. “Is that okay?” You smile at his question. “More than okay.”

You climb back on top of him, doing exactly what you said and pulling the white satin to the side before gripping his dick, lining it up to your entrance. He holds you steady looking up at you with those big brown puppy dog eyes as you sink down.

The stretch stings because of the lack of foreplay, but you can’t find it within yourself to care as the pain shoots up your lower back and is already fraying at your pleasure filled nerves.

“So… so good. God.” Spencer chokes.

Your lips are rolled between your teeth, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. You heave out a breath when he sinks down to the hilt, and he just rubs soothing circles on your hips. The feeling helps to guide you as you loosen up, and when you do, you give him an experimental clench.

He groans of course and you smirk lazily.

“‘Gonna ride you now, ‘kay?” You murmur as you lift your hips up before slamming down. Spencer practically shouts when he re-enters you. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…” He’s a whimpering, cursing mess. “That feels good, baby?” You ask as you bounce. Spencer nods and fondness twists in your chest.

“You’re so tight. I think ‘m gonna pass out.” He says dramatically. You laugh, grabbing his hands and slipping them under your bra so they can cover your breasts. “Well, don’t pass out until we’ve cum, alright?”

He gives your breasts a reassuring squeeze. “Of course.” He huffs and you giggle again. The giggles die out though when you shift and his tip prods just right.

“Oh shit.” You curse but remain in the same place.

You ride him in abandon, the sound of skin meeting skin radiating out into the early morning air of the apartment. The sound is nasty and wet and it causes your head to swim. The buzz of mind numbing pleasure swims around in your gut, and you can almost grasp it.

“Spence I – I need more, can you…?” You moan out, your head tilting back. “Yeah, yeah, I got you, sweetheart.”

One hand leaves to rub furiously at your clit and your hips cant forward, sending you landing on his naked, sweat slicked chest. Your thighs burn and you rest for a moment, but Spencer doesn’t seem to match the same sentiment, because the other hand holds you by your hip in a grip that’s almost bruising.

The fat is spilling through his fingers but he uses it as leverage as he now fucks up into you. You squeal, throwing your arms around his neck and tucking his face into yours. You mark him mindlessly, body trembling as you near your orgasm.

You can feel him twitch inside of you when he sets a pace, bringing you up and down in a way that indicates he’s nearing an end of his own.

“Together, okay?” You cry out, “‘Wanna cum together.”

“Okay, honey, okay.”

He sets his feet on the floor and rubs harder at your sensitive bud, and the arousal that implodes inside of you is so blinding that you white out for a minute. Every one of your senses are overwhelmed, and you can hear him mewling into your ear before warmth paints your womb.

It’s silent in the apartment for a moment before you speak.

“I have to tell you a secret.” You whisper mindlessly, laying your cheek on a bony shoulder. “And what’s that?” He runs his fingers up and down your spine.

“This set is new.”

“I know honey, I saw the charge on my card.”

“What?!” You exclaim, pulling away from his body to search his hazy eyes with your wide ones.

“You forget I can see the bank statements.” Spencer says with a smile. “No, no. I – I didn’t mean to use your card.”

“You didn’t have to… I may have uh… may have slipped one into your wallet when you weren’t looking.” He admits sheepishly. You stare at a moment and then smile incredulously. “Did you… secretly sugar daddy me?”

“Oh God, please don’t call it that.” He says with a groan, leaning forward to bury his face in your chest.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever sugar daddy.” You tease, running your fingers through his sweaty locks.

ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @their-love @fandomsarelifee @theendofthe70s @nomajdetective @mgg-theprettiestboy @phoenixblack89 @celtic-crossbow @hallecarey1 @bunnybabe-babydoll @dixonzzgirl @violettavirus @khxna

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pathetichimbos · 1 year ago

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guys... I gotta talk about this. bear with me, it's gonna be a rollercoaster.

---

Thomas having sex for the first time.

Oh boy. Oh boy. So many thoughts.

I don't care what anyone says. Thomas is a 30+ year old virgin. We stan him. We love him. We're gonna ruin him.

But first, let's talk about all the stuff in his life building up to it.

So, as I've stated many, many times before, Thomas was primarily isolated from kids his age when he was 13-14, so he didn't really have an outlet to explore anything in a safe manner with anyone. (Not that it would have been all that safe in the first place... these kids wildin')

And we also know that he grew up in a pretty conservative household (a.ka. patriotic god fearing americans), so we all know that he was most likely too embarrased and ashamed by his own attraction to explore anything by himself either. (whoo boy been there buddy)

And we know that as an older, proud, southern woman, Luda Mae most likely did not have any sort of sex talk with Thomas other than telling him it was for grown, married folks only.

But, you know what we didn't know?

Charlie wasn't around to have the talk with him either.

I was rewatching The Beginning (oh wow, really? what a surprising turn of events) and something I've heard dozens of times before caught my eye.

1952. Sergeant Major 'Hoyt' was a POW in the Korean war.

August, 1939. Luda Mae finds a discarded newborn in the dumpster outside the slaughterhouse.

1939-1952.

Depending on the month (but we can assume it was many, many months), Thomas was 12 or 13 when Charlie served in the Army.

So, while Thomas is dropping out of school and isolating himself from his family and peers, the only sense of a father figure is serving / being held captive by enemy soldiers.

And personally, I don't believe Thomas and Monty are that close. Monty doesn't seem to take any sort of interest in Thomas, and Thomas was a little too willing to chop his legs off. So I sincerely doubt he was any sort of help.

So, really, I wouldn't be all that surprised if Thomas doesn't really know what sex is. He has a general idea of the meaning and that it's reserved for marriage, but other than crude, most likely misogynistic comments from the older men in his life, he doesn't really know anything about it.

So, when he actually does meet someone (and tie the knot) and all of those feelings come rushing in, he's more than overwhelmed. It takes a long time before he can actually handle going all the way.

For the first part of your intimacy, it's a lot of soft talks and encouragement, and explaining everything to him. He has no idea how to make you feel good, so it's up to you to show him literally everything.

You have to build up to the actual sex, and even after you do it for the first time, he's going to need you to keep hold of the lead until he's familiar and comfortable with it all.

He's a mess when you finally do it. He's clinging to you, trying so hard not to hold you too tightly, a whining mess in your ear, burying his face in your neck and panting wildly. It's awkward, and bumpy, and he finishes way too fast (and you don't even get the chance) but the way he melts into your touch with that blissed out look in his eyes makes it worth it.

And trust me, he gets better. He's a quick learner, and as long as you tell him exactly what to do, he goes from a fumbling mess to making your toes curl in no time.

He spends an ungodly amount of time watching and learning what gets you going. The sounds, the sights, the movements, everything.

He could spend hours on you, but he's still new to this, so he gets distracted really easily.

He lives off praise, the more you give him the more fuzzy his brain gets until he's a whining mess. (He makes a LOT of noises). He loves when you leave scratches. (Nothing too deep or scarring, but the feeling drives him crazy). He likes when you tug his hair to make him look at you. (He's big on eye contact, specifically when you're more 'making love' than 'we've got five minutes before someone walks into the kitchen').

....Now this next thing I'm gonna say is going to upset plenty of people, but hear me out.

Realistically, I don't think Thomas enjoys going down.

I know, I know, it's a SUPER unpopular opinion as pretty much every headcanons him as being super into giving head, BUT, I have my reasonings.

It's not that he dislikes the act itself, and in fact, I'm sure he actually loves it, but we do have to remember that he has a rather severe skin condition mostly centered around his face.

This means his skin is super sensitive to certain things like strong chemicals, intense fragrances, hot water, and anything with a high acidity.

And going down with absolutely cause an irritable flare up that will hurt. A lot.

So, no, realistically, I don't think he'd do it, just for that reason.

Do I think he'd enjoy doing it if he could? Yea, absolutely, I just don't think he can.

Anyways. I don't know what this was. But it would not leave my brain, so. I guess this is my introductory to the smut I want to start writing. Who knows. We'll see.

#thomas hewitt #slasher fandom #slashers #thomas hewitt x reader #thomas hewitt x s/o #thomas hewitt x y/n #slasher x reader #thomas hewitt x you #slasher x you

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madelynraemunson · 8 months ago

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i neeeed you to hear me out on this one okay. okay okay so the song is casual by chappell roan and its about like being super intimate w a guy but he still tells his friends you're just a casual fuck. like some of the lyrics are "i've heard so many rumors that i'm just a girl that you bang on your couch" and "knee deep in the passenger seat and you're eating me out, is it casual now?" so like. eddie munson. angst. and reader whos fed up with him being so cocky to his friends ab how he gets her off while he brushes her off. PLEASE hear me out 🫣

IM HEARING YOU ALL THE WAY OUT 😩😩🗣️

(as someone who dated a literal INCEL in high school who was charismatic to all and manipulative to none but me this fucking triggered me. i see you boo)

CW: misogynist behavior, adult themes, 18+ minors DNI

eddie sweetie, this isn't you :( but without further a due...

"If you have to go around telling people that you're a good person, you probably aren’t a good person."

incel!asshole!modern!eddie x fem!innocent!reader

WC: 1.3k words | part two here

Ever since you became exclusive with the ‘Town Freak’, your friends have constantly been ripping your ass a new one.

They were all so wrong about Eddie Munson. Because beneath the rugged, edgy persona he likes to put on every day (spewing his ‘Abolish-The-Status-Quo’ Manifesto atop an unsteady table in the cafeteria) lies a woman-worshipping gentleman, a soft, romantic, misunderstood love-sick puppy who would do just about anything to know you like the back of his hand.

Your dream boy.

"No one ever wants to date the nice guy," Eddie would say to you, alluding to himself. You’d constantly deny his claim. “But the jocks? The rabbits in band? The chess club dweebs? Oh yeah, without a doubt. Anyone but the freak."

It all made you think Eddie was created perfectly for you. That there was some sort of invisible string in the halls of Hawkins High, waiting for just the right moment to pull you two together. And when you two kissed that one day after detention, his hands snaked gently around your waist behind the rusty, faded bleachers out by the stadium, it felt like a match made in heaven.

“You gonna be my girl?” Eddie grinned into you, stroking your cheek, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Mine and mine only?”

“Yours,” you whispered breathlessly to him before reeling him in for another blissful peck.

And soon, lonely afternoons in study hall turned into D&D campaigns with him and his friends. Mundane weekend errands turned into fishing trips with him and Wayne. And soon quiet, anxious car rides became karaoke and head-banging sessions. Once aimless and confused, lost in the melody of life, suddenly all the love songs were about Eddie. You finally found the one.

It all leads you to believe your friends were just jealous of you. True friends would be over the moon.

This afternoon you had a surprise for Eddie. Just last week, you lost your virginity to him and were still swooning over how caring and tender he was with you. Surely, that is the bare minimum for a guy, but the bare minimum is so hard to come by nowadays. Cookies for Discord night with his friends was the least you can do to show how much you appreciate your boyfriend.

After extracurriculars, you rush home to get the oven going, throwing down in the kitchen to make the best snickerdoodles Eddie will ever have. And after one last look in the mirror, fixing your flirty skirt and your plump glossy lips, you set off to Forrest Hills Trailer Park.

Eddie has his headset on so he doesn’t hear your multiple knocks at the door. You knew he would be home though, dude’s got nowhere else to be on a Friday night. Eventually, you decide to hobble out back, looking through one of the windows by the kitchen that he always cracked open just so he doesn’t hotbox the place.

“I’m right behind you, right behind you!” Eddie warns his friends as he nears them in the game. “Gonna need some backup from Gareth the Great.”

Since he’s focused on his electronics, you decide to shoot him a text message. Hopefully then he’ll come to the door.

Hi baby 💕 I brought you some homemade snickerdoodles :)

You can’t help but smile when you hear your custom text-tone go off. But, to your surprise, you watch as Eddie turns a blind eye, chucking his phone onto the nearby couch instead of answering your text.

What the fuck?

"Ugh. She's texting me again," your boyfriend grumbles to the boys as he proceeds with the game. "She's kinda annoying, to be honest. Gonna wait a while before I respond.”

You can’t believe what you’re hearing. Pressing your ear against the mesh blinds that separated you two from each other, you decide to listen in for a while longer.

“Don’t you think you’re stringing her along, Eds?”

Yeah, don’t you think? you think to yourself.

“Yeah, but… free pink,” Eddie sneers with a tsk and shrug. “However I want, whenever I want. She just makes it so easy.”

Eddie then starts to spill the details of taking your virginity, about how you were “chimping out” underneath him on his couch while Wayne was sleeping. What was a sacred ordeal to you was made to sound like a cheap, subpar experience to Eddie. His commentary sends the boys into a spiral, fits of hooting and hollering like it was the best stand-up bit they’ve heard in a long time. Resentment simmers within you. This can’t be the same boy.

“How’d you get a pretty girl like that anyway?” comes another voice in the call.

“Pretty fucking easy,” Eddie scoffs. “You just tell her exactly what she wants to hear. Just say what she says right back to her and the panties come right off. She’ll think you’re soulmates.”

The room erupts with virtual laughter, followed by obnoxious sound effects that the app enables users to send to one another. Your stomach begins to twist, the forbidden cookie dough you ingested just an hour prior threatening to make its way back up.

“HAHAHA,” someone in the chat cackles. “Eds will do anything for that roast beef.”

“I’ve always been keen on them deli meats. Am I right, boys?”

The snickering commences again. Eddie thanks the Discord guys as they extol him in compliments, encouraging him to write a playbook on how to get a proper lay. Eddie ends up shutting down the idea. But not because he thinks it’s fucked. No. It’s because he claims he doesn’t “have to try” and that you just “put out” at the drop of a hat.

The tray of Eddie’s undeserved cookies shakes in your hands as your body begins to tremble. You’re going to be sick. And just when you think it can’t get anymore twisted, it does.

“Hey, what do you think about that girl from math class with the fat ass?”

“Harmony?”

“Yeah.”

“God if she’s into me too I’d dump my girl in a heartbeat,” Eddie swoons.

Of course he’d gawk over Harmony. Outside of Tammy Thompson and Chrissy Cunningham, Harmony Heathers was next up to bat for the Queen of Hawkins High.

“She’s got fucking beanbags where her ass should be. I’d do just about anything for her.”

“And her.”

“Yeah and I’d do her.”

"I'd do her too," Eddie admits.

That’s enough.

You’ve heard enough to know that Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson was just like the rest. Throwing the snickerdoodle cookies you made for him into the trash, you sprint back to your car and set off for your house, music blaring the entirety of the commute.

My friends call me a loser 'Cause I'm still hanging around

I've heard so many rumors That I'm just a girl that you bang on your couch

You slam the door to your room the moment you get home. And before stripping down and hopping into the safety of a warm shower, you send Eddie one last text.

Actually, you know what? It’s over. Don’t talk to me ever again.

Washing the grossness off of you was the only way you felt you could feel okay.

You wanted the remnants of Eddie OFF of your body. Hysterically sobbing, you attempt scrub off all the dead skin on your body with a loofah. Frustrated tears roll down your face.

I thought you thought of me better, Someone you couldn't lose

You wanted all the dead cells off of you. You wanted a new body. You wanted a new life.

And you couldn’t wait to grow newer, thicker skin. A new shell of you. It will be skin that Eddie can never say he touched.

You said, "We're not together" So now when we kiss,

Fuck Eddie Munson.

I have anger issues

You give the weird kid a chance, and then suddenly he acts like you’re the freak.

#eddie munson angst #maddy’s mailbox ✨#EDDIE THIS ISN'T YOU #eddie munson one shot #angsty blurb #eddie munson x reader #maddy’s requests 🍸

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evangelinesbible · 2 years ago

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SYNASTRY I WANT TO EXPERIENCE

I made a quick about how I wanted two specific synastry placements to happen to me and I figured I might as well make a post about all the synastry placements I really want to experience at some point. who knows maybe me just typing it out and posting it will get me exactly what I ask for

OVERLAYS

(these can go with either placements in my house or vise versa)

VENUS 1H

Mannnnn I just want someone to look at me and be like yeah that’s my type right there. But this placement doesn’t also have to be about physical appearance. Their mannerisms, their personality and how they present themselves to others match with your values and what you want in a partner.

MARS 2H

Maybe it’s cuz I’m a Taurus mars but by what I’ve heard about mars in 2H synastry I like the vibes. Working towards stability and being very sensual with your partner. Both partners can be very patient and slow to anger each other but the main downside would probably be holding grudges/ being petty with other when mad.

MARS/EROS/ 8H

I just want to feel intensely desired and yes I know that 8H overlays can be rough but listen most people in my life have their Pluto conjunct my moon and my chart ruler is the 8H so I might be a-ok than most people with this intense placement(s)

JUNO 1H

Technically I’ve had this before but I want it again and this time I want it to be mutual “love at first sight” vibe. And again this placement can be more than just a physical thing. its not just your ideal type you feel that this person is your ideal PERSON. you see each other as equals in partnership. and you can imagine marrying them.

JUNO 7H

I mean this ones pretty self explanatory. you'll want to marry this person for sure at some point or you at least think about it a lot. The romantic connection is there, it's so strong. And I just want to feel what that's like. (I aint getting married anytime soon tho. girl I'm 18)

DESTINN 6H

In my humble onion (that's a typo but Im not changing it) I think this can mean being destined to have everyday life with each other. Doing daily routines and having a groove and flow with your partner. I like that.

NATAL OR COMPOSITE

JUNO CONJ. VENUS

Love, devotion, all the feels. By what I've read there's so much loyalty and love between each other. The commitment is so strong. And typically Venus rules over love and Juno rules over marriage. so marriage indicator.

JUNO CONJ. JUPITER

Another for sure marriage indicator. Jupiter ruling over the husband and Juno being about marriage is so fitting as well. Perfect match. they influence and inspire each other.

JUPITER CONJ. MOON

So much affection, bliss, and joy in this. Cozy and content. You open each others mind and want to travel not only the world together but your emotions. theres potentially to overindulge in each other but a mature couple will figure out their boundaries and communicate them well with each other. nonetheless I would die for this placement. This is THE marriage placement imo because Moon = Wife and Jupiter = Husband.

JUPITER CONJ. VENUS

The abundance of love. The freedom Venus feels with Jupiter and the endless compassion the Venus makes an abundance of love.

COMPOSITE

LIBRA IN BIG 3/VENUS

Pretty sure this is also a sign of marriage. Usually balance in love. Just in ideal placement(s) to have in composite.

CANCER IN BIG 3/VENUS

I've talked about why I like composite cancer ring but honestly I'm fine with any of these placements being cancer. I want to feel like I've found someone who feels like home and quite literally build a home with someone.

TAURUS IN BIG 3/VENUS

I need stability in my life... that and its another Venus ruled sign and that’s always good for a composite chart.

12H SUN

Hear me out now 😭✋ I’ve technically experienced this one too but it never turned into an actual relationship and I saw him more as a quick fling. This placement isn’t bad cuz it’s in the 12H. I feel like with the right person it can still be challenging but also quite beautiful. Maybe this is my Pisces self wanting a deep soulful and spiritual connection with someone special. I mean I don’t mind regular 12H synastry so 🤷🏽‍♀️

Have you had any of these aspects/placements? What was your experience? 💋

-⚜️💫⚜️

#astrology #astro notes #astro observations #astro placements #astrology notes #pisces #aries #capricorn #taurus #cancer #synastry chart #composite chart #relationship astrology #love astrology #Juno #destinn asteroid

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jcbbby · 2 years ago

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not a fic, but just some thots thoughts about that breeding kink I mentioned with Jamie because......pls........🫣

so imagine y'all get back to the hotel after the con that just happened where he interacted with quite a few little kids/babies.

you're just settling in for the night, getting ready for bed and talking about how the day was. he'd be in boxers and a t-shirt, you in just panties and one of his other shirts.

Jamie would be like "that little baby with the hat today was so sweet today...broke my heart that she started crying." he'd frown and put his hand over his chest.

you'd be like "you were so cute with the little ones today."

"you think so?"

"it was so sweet to watch...you'd be such a good daddy."

he'd smile wide "I like the sound of that from you..."

you'd playfully push his shoulder "Jamie!"

he'd laugh "oh, no! I mean literally, daddy as in a dad...that sounds nice.. and you'd be mommy."

"aww, you'd want me to be the mommy of your baby?"

"oh absolutely, darling. you'd be so beautiful pregnant with my baby, too." he'd pull you into his arms.

"yeah?" you'd ask, nuzzling in.

"definitely." he'd smirk and lean in to start kissing your neck, running his hands all over you.

you'd sigh dreamily as he nibbles at that special spot on your neck before giggling. "whoa, you trying to get me pregnant here tonight, Bower?"

he'd chuckle against you and keep going, kissing and gently biting your neck as he slips a hand under your shirt. "would you like that, hm? if I put a baby in you, our baby?" he'd whisper as he gently slipped his thumb over your nipple, causing you to inhale deeply at how nice it felt, sliding your hand up through his hair.

"don't write checks your dick can't cash, babe..." you'd pull his head back from your neck. "if you say you're gonna get me pregnant...you better put your money where your mouth is." you'd smirk.

he'd push you slowly down on to the bed, climbing over you. he'd hover just above your lips and whisper "oh, I'm going to put a baby in you alright...I'm not gonna stop fucking you until I've filled you to the brim, darling." before he crashed his lips into yours, and you both started clawing at one another.

he'd take off his boxers, and you'd slide off your panties. you'd start to take off your shirt, but he would grab it and do it for you, just so rearing to go at the thought of getting you pregnant, so incredibly turned on by the thought of you walking around carrying his child.

he'd whisper in your ear as he fucks you, saying things like "I'm gonna fill you up" and "you're gonna look so good with my baby in you"

he'd stay inside you after he came, keeping all of his cum inside you, kissing and whispering sweet things to you before he got hard and started thrusting in you again. he'd switch between slow and deep and hard and fast, between making love to you and making sure he came hard enough to get plenty of his seed in you.

you'd both cum a plethora of times and have made a mess of the sheets with how much was spilled out from the both of you. but once he was satisfied with his work, and you were both exhausted and so blissed out, he'd slip out of you, but pull your legs up at an angle. "just to be sure, my love. it's gotta stay in there." he'd smile.

you'd both then cuddle up together to fall asleep, and before you both pass out for the night, he'd say "I can't wait to be mommy and daddy."

GOD I NEED HIM SO BAD. I DONT EVEN WANT KIDS IN MY REAL LIFE BUT I WILL HAVE HIS IF HE ASKED ME I STG.

I desire him carnally 😵‍��😵‍💫😵‍💫

#jamie campbell bower smut #Jamie Bower smut #jamie campbell bower rpf #Jamie Bower rpf

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zavbees · 1 year ago

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Y'all help. We Happy Few has me in a damn choke hold now. Apparently my list of favorite genres now includes "WDYM there's something wrong? Nuh-uh, take your happy pills" and i-

Idk what that says about me.

Just something about it scratches my brain so good. Like the aesthetic is so fucking good. Genuinely thinking about a society like that is fascinating to me. Like, people being almost forced to forget everything negative. I Utopian Dystopia. I am such a sucker for stories where everyone is happy (like really fluff heavy), and I am a sucker for angst and characters being put in tough situations. So like. Thinking about it I'm not surprised this is as exciting as it is to me.

It is a horror that isn't gore and super dark. Like, don't get me wrong, the game is plenty dark, but not in the way horror usually is. It's dark partially BECAUSE of everyone being "happy". It literally gives me the dark aspects I crave in the fluffy casing I need in order to be able to fully connect with it. And it's so fucking refreshing.

Also, I really want to make something about if Arthur took his Joy in the beginning of the game (so like he isn't a downer, at least not fully. Idk it's just interesting to me) and he and Sally reconnect. Like, it's just and Every Man being just a normal cog in the machine, and then this woman who he used to be closer comes back into his life. Maybe by that point he barely remembers Percy, because of his Joy use, and the moment that he would have remembered him by is denied (since he takes the pill instead). Then, once he has to choose to either turn Sally in or keep her secret, ESPECIALLY with her having a baby, I think that would also be enough to nudge him off of Joy. Even if it's purely becuase of the moral delema of a long lost friend taking a different path, so now he has to examine his own thoughts.

Like I find the world so fricken cool that they built in this game, but I really want to know what it's like as someone who's IN civilization. Downers are outcasts. That's just how they are. But what about the Wellies who take their Joy every hour on the hour and live in relative bliss.

I think it's just I really like angst, and the best way for this particular flavor of angst to hit best imo is to show just HOW good things are as a "normal person" for a decent length of time, then getting hit with the complete opposite of what you've been hearing and realizing you've been lied to for the past,,, 10 or 20 years??

Idk man. I've been hyperfixating hard. I just started playing the game like 3 days ago because I randomly remembered it existed like last week and now it's all I can think about.

And I'm loving it. I'm Snug like a Bug on a Drug.

#we happy few #whf #random ramblings at 4 am #i cant sleep #im hyperfixating again #its to the point i only want to play the game #no thoughts #only whf #ZSpeaks #Joy #ZSpeaksJoy

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flamechasr · 7 months ago

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i finally finished total recall... march stuff hits too hard for me specifically as a system because i've literally lost so many memories and i know it might be for my own good but i'm afraid that i'll never be "me" without those memories, or that i'm living life in blissful ignorance turned away from all painful things. i desire to know my past and become who i'm supposed to be but at the same time i fear it, i know i'm not meant for them, i grieve over memories i don't even have and it's . i don't know. it's just a lot. this is how march DID wins i guess.

#✧ — musings #✦ — polaroid memories

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pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 7 months ago

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a while ago you answered and ask of mine with something that really resonated with me, abt your real self feeling like it was trapped in a glass cage. anyway im taking your ask box name literally. I used to live in a world full of magic and wonder, I think we all do when were young, and then alot of awful stuff happened, it took alot, a new traumatic tragedy every month. and now the magic is gone and it feels like it was never there and wont ever be there again. (1/2)

thankyou for returning to my askbox im glad what i said helped befofre, sorry it took a while to respond i been ~in a haze--- my glass case got fogged up so to speak🩶gosh i been thinking lately i need to do mushrooms for the first time ina few years. the past month was such a trauma overload its thrown a wrench in all my plans & the world feels completely different to me now, i can barely even be online anymore it all feels so hostile to my sense of whimsy.

basically the only thing thats been getting me thru this past 5 weeks is just, going outside. not necessarily walking just sitting, breathing in the fresh air, and looking closely at the trees. when i sit outside without any distraction its impossible for me to deny that the magic is alive, objectively it is always there it extends far beyond me or any personal problem i have, it is going to outlive me. it comforts me so much to inhale the outdoors its the coping mechanism i've returned to again & again since childhood. i love feeliing like im so small im just nothing. yea i feel like shrooms cld b really nice rn..

grief is hell but its necessary because it taught me how to enjoy whats good.... the cycle will always keep spinning & the warm feelings will always return. from being an old person who been thru it so many times i trust that now. have u ever met a greedy rich person before? they have everything handed to them so they've never learned what it means to appreciate life. they're never satisfied because they don't know true despair or loss. this is not all rich ppl some still have perspective but its a thing w some, we all kno its a thing. for me it really has served my soul to go through so much pain & lose all control. Now i see every peaceful silent "boring" moment as true bliss. i dont rly need anything anymore , imo that is how death transforms & elevates

ofc it dont happen over night and u really do have to let yourself cry it out. let yourself wallow , feel pity for yourself like you would feel pity for a child who came crying into your arms. comfort yourself, get it all out dont try to hide from it. slowly the tides will turn. things will begin to stand out to you, little beauties you never noticed before. the simple things..they mean so much more once u have experienced true terror. i pray very much for your heart to heal anon ❤️‍🩹 the whimsy will return to u i can tell by the way u want it for yourself & others. U can be a guide to them thru your actions. ilu im here for u just dont give up 🌷 pmd9

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tsintotwo · 2 years ago

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A few words.

Tom Sturridge's birthday was a couple days ago- 5 December. I learned that on 6 December. This is a futile space to 'celebrate' in any way, so I won't try, and there's a lot of personal feelings that if I start writing about them, the thing would morph into a weirdly emotinal open letter- I won't do that either. Still, just thought I'd acknowledge the birthday thing here since this blog turned into a tribute account to the man and his work before I knew it was happening.

Making presumptions, but Tom, Tom the person is not any of the wild, disturbed, stormy men he plays, and he is not exactly the 3000 volt puppy-energy wrapped in a blanket of sunshine man that he shows the public either. I believe he's somewhere in between- make it quieter, make it introspective, and slide the slidebar more towards the latter. Either way, we know for sure how amazingly talented he is, how wonderfully weird/quirky his sense of humor can be (that's my personal favorite brand of humor), we know how humble and kind and warm he is. He deserves everything he ever hoped for in life, and things he can't even dream of yet. I hope he gets all that, and more. Nobody can have 100% bliss and happiness 100% of the time, but I hope most days he wakes up and feels excited about life, feels deeply loved and protected by the people around him, feels he has love to give back to all of them, and feels the energy and inspiration to try all the new things he wants to and do all the old things he wants to keep doing. Happy belated birthday to Tom Sturridge.

I know a lot of you- probably most of you- are following me for my Tom content. My tumblr was more or less a throwaway before I got caught off-guard by my love for this man- I literally came here every 6 months after finishing a show/book/album to reblog some stuff about it and went away. Then Tom happened. Anyway, I have lots more content ideas- gifsets, videos, writing pieces. But I've done all the easier ideas and the new stuff will take a little bit more time, so things might slow down a little. I make this stuff for myself, mostly, and slow or fast, doesn't look like I can stop anytime soon. Anyway, thanks for being here. Cheers, and say a little prayer for Tom and/or send a little good vibe towards him if you have two seconds- for all the joy he's brought us, he deserves it.

Edit: Ugh, I forgot that I meant to add this rare-ish Tom shot to the post:

#tom sturridge #dream of the endless #morpheus #sandman

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blink-blank-bliss · 2 years ago

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Hey Blissy your turn. I hear you are: "Neural Nets and Pretty Patterns owned voice actress and pleasure puppet"

Some odd questions for you:

Would you desrcibe yourself as being in a bdsm relationship that uses hypnosis as a tool like a Dom-sub relationship + hypno, Or a Hypno-Domination H-D/s relationship? Just curious how you'd define it - because you seem happy and you guys are still going strong, or is it a Hypno relationship +D/s?

Could you say please what the most important part of the hypnotic relationship is - like the thing that makes the hypnosis most effective for you?

Could you also please say what submission means to you, what are the core components for submission to be happening?

Thank you in advance x x x

Hi Doll! It's always a pleasure to hear from you and I'd be happy to answer your questions, I apologize to any reader who actually plows through this whole thing for what may be a little too much of a glimpse behind the curtain at Actual Me and not the public face of Bliss, but oh well, I don't really get a lot of serious questions and I am delighted that you've asked me, so buckle up here we go.

I don't think I would use any of those terms to describe my relationship with Neural. We are primarily romantic partners and best friends, and we work together to create weird kinky artsy audio porn stuff. He's the creator, but I do a lot behind the scenes to help keep the content coming and I take my job as Cunt Muse seriously. Yes, we have kinky sex and it's fucking great, but it's just a small part of a relationship between equals. He has, however, spent a lot of time inside my mind, as I have in his. It's given our relationship something that I guess I would call ...mental intimacy? haha that sounds gross idfk. But I've never really had this before and can't imagine having it with someone else. The content is a part of it, I love acting and he just writes me the most fun roles to play. haha in the one we are working on now I play the most sadistic nun ever, it's so cathartic, I swear I'm healing generational trauma doing it haha. Getting to explore all of that together is really sexual and really hot but it's not like ... hypnosis. I love having wild kinky trancey scenes with him and he is a wonderful dom, knows how to push my buttons just the right way to take me apart and always makes sure to put me back together after, but it's not as important to me as it is that he has made me laugh every day for over 5 years without fail or that he can write me a part to play in a script that will both highlight my talent and turn me on.

I think the most important part of the hypnotic relationship is trust. I trust him and he trusts me. I know he is committed to being good to me and good for me, as I am for him. He's proven it to me through haha some honestly insane shit storms of life and I know I have proven it to him. And we've been at it long enough that we've seen the proof, both of us are better stronger people than we were before we met. This is what makes us equals, but it's also what makes it possible for him to slide inside my mind like he's coming home and make me into nothing but his. For a time at least.

ok so this is a two-parter. Part 1. What does submission mean to me? So ok I am old. I came out as queer and kinky in a world where to be kinky you had to put on a latex dress and go in person to what they called an "S & M Club". It was terrifying but thrilling. But as far as kink goes, I'm a little jaded at this point. I feel like I've literally seen it all. I've been to at least 50 kink conventions of all varieties. I've taught classes, hosted infamous dungeon parties, demo dollied, bootblacked, partied with all manner of kinky people. but like.... I'm fucking old and I did it already. Now yes, I am still submissive, I am still a masochist, but I just don't have anything left to prove to myself or anyone else about it. Submission has been a part of who I am for more than half my life now, but at this point, it's pretty much just a sex thing for me. I mean yeah I call Neural Owner or Daddy when we play, and yeah it was hot as hell when I asked him to choose my new hair color, but it's for fun and a sex thing. Part 2 is pretty cut and dried. I'm jumping over the safety speech part here and just say that I'm only talking about power exchange that I would consider RACK. But for submission to occur there has to be some kind of agreement that you are going to give up your power to another for a period of time in some agreed upon way. That's what we mean when we talk about consent really. it's what makes healthy power exchange possible, without that it's all various degrees of abuse and codependency and people making each other into less than they are. Gross. I'm also going to answer a question that you didn't ask, but my advice to any submissive but especially those getting into it: -sit down with yourself and really decide what your values are, what your limits are, what your needs are, physically emotionally mentally before you go giving your precious self away to a dom. - Sub frenzy is a thing, it's crazy, I've been there, but it is Not Real and it will fade, take your time in establishing relationships and making commitments no matter how hot the scenes are. -No matter how much you worship them, your doms will remain human. Humans have limits on their time and their energy. Humans are not all-knowing. Humans get sick. Humans make mistakes. Don't put divinity level expectations on your human partner. It's a set up, no one can live up to it.

#not a bimpost for once

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kikipops117 · 3 days ago

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Book reports, anyone?

(I've gotta give some loopooong context first so skip this block of text if you wanna get to the action of my words or if you dont want your opinion of me to sour cuz im gonna be brutally honest and not mince words about what drove me to this point :.)

Because of my crusade to spend less time on the internet, I read more books in 2024 than I have cumulatively in years. And it altered my brain chemistry. In a good way. Maybe "healed" is a better word for it.

I know I am not alone in the camp of people who got out of high school and suddenly became starved for the drive to read. Devouring books as if I needed them to breathe was a hallmark of my childhood, and it was scary how easily I just fell into quitting and didn't even notice it. As a kid, I would finish a book and felt as if I'd lost a limb until I found another story to jump into. But I stepped out of my childhood bliss and into grown-up care, and it's like one day I woke up and didn't need to breathe anymore. I became an adult without holding on to what used to be a load-bearing facet of my life. Sure, I'd occasionally re-read the classics (LOTR and Hunger Games mostly), but I didn't pick up anything new, and I didn't want to. All the while, my screen time crept higher and higher.

The only thing that opened my eyes to what was, by all evidence, a phone addiction, was the sudden realization that I could no longer be content inside my head. I needed overstimulatuon to feel at ease. I needed tiktok on in the background while I ate, worked, exercised. I started writing again, and when I instinctually reached for my phone and told myself no, I got irritable and fussy like a smoker being cut off from their nicotine. I would watch movies on my phone and during slow moments I would literally swipe up on habit, trying to get a hit of dopamine from something shocking and fast, only to realize what I'd done and feel all kinds of shame and embarrassment. Something needed to change.

In 2023 I decided to try to read more. It went okay, I was able to finish 2 or 3 books, but I didn't cut off my internet addiction. I was living alone in a house with no wifi. My only connection to the internet, my friends, news, was social media. My screen time got worse and worse as I packed my reading ajd writing so tightly between my scrolling sessions that I had little time for anything else, and my brain was asphyxiating.

In 2024, Akane and I moved into a house together, and because she needs internet to function, we got wifi. A first for me in almost 4 years. Up until that point, all of my writing had to be done on my smartphone. I had a little Bluetooth keyboard I'd hook up to it, and I literally wrote two rough drafts for novels purely on my phone. So to be able to write from the comfort of my laptop with my phone on silent across the room felt liberating. As if I'd written the prior two novels under the oppressive thumb of an abusive overseer who so graciously allowed me just enough free time to think for myself so long as I paid my dues by scrolling for hours on end once I was put of steam. I was so codependent on short-form content and staring at my phone. My cell was like my only lifeline to my faraway friends (during the pandemic I was forced to move somewhere remote and at least 300 miles in any direction from any friends). It was also my only key to my greatest passion, which is writing. I couldn't just turn away from it! That would be like asking a fish never to breathe water again, but leaving him in the tank to tread with his gills above water.

Encouraged by my newfound freedom from my phone, I decided this year to do something drastic. I had a tiktok page (not the one you will find under my name now, btw,) that was like my video journal to all the hoopla that goes on in my life. I had a few thousand followers and a few million likes and views. It was doing really well and it was on the up. I decided to delete it. (I'm ashamed to admit that it was only this past month that I found the courage to remove Instagram from my phone as well once I found myself sneaking back into reels in order to get to short-form content. I'd kept Instagram because I told myself that I needed to keep up with the lives of my friends. Then I realized that I already spoke every day to my closest circle via text and I was kidding myself if i thought I needed insta to stay close to them.)

With the section of my brain usually devoted to processing endless tiktoks suddenly freed up, I found myself pondering a new writing project. This was unlike anything I'd worked on before, and it was the first concept I'd had in years that sparked such intense excitement and passion. I began writing and found the process easier than ever. But as I went, I became acutely aware that I had ZERO comp-titles for this project that I wished to someday query. (For those who don't know, a comp title is a preexisting book or work that is comparable to your project. When you are looking for an agent or publisher for your book they want you to give them a list of comp titles so they know what your target audience is going to be and how best to market it.)

I didn't have any comp titles because I hadn't read anything in years. And years. How could I dream so much about entering the space of authors when I'd neglected that world for so long? That would be like Ariel wishing to walk on land all of her life but never exploring ship wreckage or breaking the surface to talk to Skuttle.

Additionally, I found myself writing in a way that felt repetitive. Why did everything sound the same? Why was I leaning on a handful of descriptors and metaphors? Because I couldn't remember how books were supposed to feel. I believe it was Stephen King who said that the best advice he can give to authors is to read? Well, I knew then that I needed to read.

But I felt intimidated.

I'm not into "spicy" reading, and the only exposure I'd had to the literary space for the past several years was what I occasionally brushed up against online on Booktok. It was hard not to feel like the entire culture around reading had turned into fairy porn while I was away, lol. Which is not bad! But that's not what I want to write about or read. So I was uncertain where I should start. I can't exactly remember what I did, but I an pretty sure I Google something stupid like "best fiction novels of the past 5 years" and decided to start there. I got my hands on Project Hail Mary, Tress of the Emerald Sea, and This Woven Kingdom.

People often use an analogy to express how easy it should be to pick up where you started on a hobby. "It's like riding a bike! You just don't forget!" Well, I've never related to that stupid analogy because it took me forever to learn how to ride a bike, me being an anxious amd clumsy kid, and after I finally figured it out when I was eight, two weeks later I shattered five bones in my foot while tripping over a dog and had to spend the summer in a hard foot cast. By the time I was finally free, I'd completely forgotten how to ride a bike and had to start the whole scary and traumatizing process all over again.

That's kinda how I felt this past year. In a fit of binging, I tore through Project Hail Mary and Tress, and went on to Yumi and The Nightmare Painter and it was so stinking hard! Even though I was obsessed with the story, I still had to put it down for long periods of time and it took me a while to finish it. It wasn't until this past summer when my sister came to visit and suggested I read, of all books, Twilight, that something finally clicked into place.

Okay. I know what you're thinking. Please don't judge. Hear me out.

I've never read Twilight. My sister was obsessed with them when we were girls but I was into other things. But the movies were a regular occurrence in my house and I went with my sister and mom to see all of the movies in theaters (except for Breaking Dawn part 1. I didn't see that one, so when I went with them to see part 2 I was MAD confused the whole time lol)

When my sister came to visit this summer, she wanted to do a Twilight movie marathon and I was all in. The movies remind me of simpler times, and we had a ball watching and laughing as adults with fully developed frontal lobes and a soft spot for nostalgia.

When she left, she told me I needed to read the books so we could better commiserate and I finally folded. I hopped on Thriftbooks (not a sponsor but I ADORE thriftbooks and would love for them to hmu someday lol) and I was able to get all 4 books for like, $20 with one of the sales they put on.

I read the first book and wow. I will withhold my opinion on it for now (you'll understand why later). I didn't want to jump right into the second book, I needed a pallet cleanser. But I was really loving the nostalgic feeling I got from Twilight. It kept me reading so avidly because the story was not intimidating and there was a sense of comfort and familiarity mixed with the newness. So I decided to pursue that line of thinking and read something that would give me the same feeling.

ENTER THE HALO BOOKS.

If you've found my trashy side blog, then you know by now how obsessed I am with the halo video games (CE, 2, 3, ODST, Reach, and Red vs Blue specifically). My sister read a few of the books when we were kids but I never did. I have dyslexia, and it was REALLY bad for me when I was little. It took me until 5th grade to start reading for fun, and I decided as a kid that I didn't want to deal with all of the science stuff in the Halo books when I could be reading about drsgons and wizards and junk.

So I'd never read the books despite my adoration of the games, and the series felt like it would be the perfect mix of nostalgia and intrigue to get me into it.

I was not anticipating the sorrows™️

I read the Fall of Reach and was devastated, of course. But I was obsessed and had to keep going. So I read The Flood next. Also heart wrenching. I needed a break from all the sadness and read New Moon (twilight 2) and once again, mixed with so much nostalgia and frustration with the characters lol.

This brings us up to the present day.

In search of something that wouldn't be so heavy as the Halo books and so infuriating as the Twilight books, I decided to read Interview with the Vampire this past week, with zero context about the content or tone of the book. I chose it simply because I love vampires and the book I'm writing is about a vampire and when researching the best works of fiction about vampires, Anne Rice's works are in the top list of contenders.

I cracked open my Thriftbooks copy of IWTV on Wednesday, and I finished it late last night. I couldn't put it down. I. Am. Obsessed. The prose. The story. The way that it made me uncomfortable at times, the way it totally should, and made me just swoon with how stinking pretty the writing is. I love the introspection, the exploration of morals and purpose. I am going to digress here because the purpose of this blog post is not to review IWTV but suffice it to say, I loved.

I finished reading late last night and felt the feverish need to share my feelings with SOMEONE. obviously I'm a little late in the game for this book though. It came out in the 70s. But I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to put my thoughts on what I'm reading somewhere. I am an avid journaler, but I give her a play by play as I'm reading. The eloquence of IWTV felt almost like I was reading a book for a literature or philosophy class, it was so gorgeous and explored such themes. So naturally, my train of thought arrived at the conclusion that I needed to write a book report.

That is why I wrote this long blog post. Because I am here to tell you that I am going to start writing little baby book reports on what I read! Because I want to!

So, if you're interested to know what I'm reading these days and how i feel about it, then you're gonna be fed because I'm cooking. I have found more lasting dopamine and joy in reading books this past year than I ever did scrolling or posting on tiktok. I've felt a stronger connection with my sister, mom, and friends as we talk and gush about what I've been reading. I finish a reading session, and I feel like my mind is invigorated, not numb. I'm inspired to imagine and think and create, as opposed to the bitter addiction that scrolling trapped me in that kepy me hungry to consume. Never ending. I can chronical my entertainment with narrative start and finishe, which satisfies and inspired in a way that hours and hours online can never replicate.

If you're looking for a sign to do as I've done, then please consider this it. And consider me an ally along the way, because it was hard. But so so rewarding.

That's all! :) thanks for reading

#long blog post #journal entry #bookblr #reading #interview with the vampire #halo series #twilight

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pegasus-ghost · 2 years ago

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Wow it's been 2 weeks since I last update stuff here, huh?

Well, lucky you, I didn't have much stuff going on in my life for the past two weeks.

About my dreams? Strangely (and I guess, thankfully.) my dreams had been very 'tame' and 'safe'. Nothing strange and weird going on. I always relate my dreams to what Allah is trying to tell me.

And all these 'tame' dreams is telling me that Allah has been protecting me greatly from my dreams being influenced by djinns trying to mess with me.

About my novel? Great news...Ish.

Liam had been open to listening to my planned plot that I had for it last week, and I spent hours for 2 days telling him my plot from start to finish. Weirdly, Liam had been extremely responsive and supportive (and patient too, mind you.) in listening to everything. And you know what? He gave me a lot of extremely good pointers in his POV on what I should and shouldn't do with my plot as well as character development stories. I thank Allah for opening up his heart to listen and help me out with my plot. But yeah, turns out that I have WAY too many sub-conflicts in my plot to develop. But I'm satisfied.

Faith-wise? Still working on it. Still working on strengthening my faith to please Allah. I get scared whenever I realize that I had been slacking off and forgot about Allah, which has been frequent these days. I begged Allah to not lead me astray, and help me out in my commitment towards Him. I have faith that Allah will help me and he's currently helping as we speak; just not in ways I'm realizing.

My parents had been away for a week-ish to Turkey. They almost cancelled the trip because my dad suddenly suffered from terrible asthma attack while on the flight to Abu Dhabi. But when they found out they have to spend an extra 5000 for a return ticket, they decided (or more like my dad decided, he hates spending money) to just continue with the trip. Well, thankfully nothing bad happens for now other than the asthma attack.

The way I see it? Allah is trying to warn my dad that he can literally die anytime and Allah tested my dad with the asthma attack while he's on a fun trip, to remind him to remember Allah and revert back to Him (my dad isn't religious and rarely prays just like me back then). And he's like, 60 plus years old. I don't know what crossed his mind when it happened, but I hope that was enough warning for him to change his ways once he returns soon. I don't know, we'll see.

What else? Work? Nothing new. But I've been pissed off with how the CEO handles things. Laying 150 people off the company silently without announcement just to save his pride and face in front of the employees. He'd been showing a lot of selfish and arrogant attitude, using up company resources for his own agenda.

But yeah, fuck that. I don't care anymore. I just care that I have a job that allows me to work from home indefinitely (and Alhamdulillah for that.). Whatever he wants to do, let him. It's not my company. At least this job allows me to pray and that I can afford a lot of free time to build on my faith as well as doing other things I like.

Oh, I did tell you that Adam is married now? Feels weird that his wife is constantly around whenever I went back to my parents place. Adam and his wife lives with our parents for now.

Not much else, really.

Oh. Yeah. It's finally the end of 2022.

2022 is.... Definitely a HUGE blessing for me from Allah.

If you had asked me what I think my 2022 will turn out to be, I would never have guessed that Allah will save my faith from someone who never prays and don't care about Islam all his life, to being extremely religious, praying 5 times a day and remembering Allah everyday.

It's a strange turn of events for me, but a blissful one.

I feel like I don't deserve such kindness from Allah at all. Sigh. But He chose me, out of like, billions of humans who'd lived and died out there not knowing Islam or even abandoned Islam.

What did I do to deserve this blessing from Allah? I cry almost every time whenever I reflect on this. And I will never take this for granted. I will continue to work on my faith, and I still have a long way to go.

Sigh. Well yeah. That's it for my recent update and summary of 2022.

Alhamdullillah.

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jaebirde-unused · 2 years ago

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So i think i might be autistic and/or ADHD

I've been scrolling through Pinterest rn, one thing led to another, and now i'm looking at posts from various social media sites about what ADHD people deal with that aren't talked about as much and I'm just like...this is literally me? I deal with pretty much all of these things, and I'm starting to think I should get myself tested for both?

Because so far some things I've seen listed are:

the things I say vs the things i mean vs what people hear (ex. what i say: "it would be nice to be able to do something i'm naturally good at" vs what i mean: "it's too draining to do something for 8 hrs a day doing only things that I can't do well and everyone else can do them so much better and not being able to do what can actually DO" vs what they hear: I want everything I do to come easy and to put zero effort into what I do")

getting frustrated that I can't do something the way i want to

getting overstimulated and not knowing what to do with myself

the bliss of wearing noise cancelling (or at least semi-noise cancelling) headphones, but then that overwhelming feeling when you take them off and every fucking noise in existence assaults your ears at once. (also relates to prev point)

finding an interest that either grabs hold of you and NEVER LETS GO or having one that lasts for 1 day to 6 weeks before it's gone forever

it takes forever to fall asleep and i often find myself staying up an extra 3-5 hrs after "going to bed" because my brain won't let me fucking sleep.

CONSTANTLY FORGETTING THINGS (this one is so annoying because it makes me seem like I wasn't paying attention even when i was trying to and i feel so guilty that i forgot the thing that i don't think i fully processed)

people asking me why i didn't ask for help and me not knowing how to explain that my brain is in constant "i don't know what the fuck is happening!" and "i can handle this myself!" and "i'm so stupid why can't i do this on my own?"

grabbing my headphones, finding my favorite playlist, and not pressing play for 2+ hrs OR starting to listen to my music, pausing to read/do something, and not turning it back on for 2+ hrs

my internal clock makes NO SENSE. I'll think it's been 2 hrs but it's only been 3 mins, or i'll think i've been doing something for only 5 mins when it's been 6 hours and i have other shit to do

✨procrastination✨

seriously i cannot for the life of me focus on anything

i'll try and i'll just start drawing or scrolling through my phone even though i know i have things to do but my brain won't. let. me. DO IT.

getting overwhelmed with way to many choices and freaking out

building things that i need to do up in my head and putting it off for a month and then i do it and it's like. half an hour

Can't pay attention to something because there's Too Much Noise™ or because it's too quiet

What do you mean not everyone can hear their lights and refrigerators running?

Forgetting everything. forgetting that assignment, forgetting to make that phone call, forgetting to eat, forgetting to clean, forgetting literally all of your plans for the day

more that i can't think of right now but might add later

...and so forth. But like, I thought I was the only one who dealt with this? But I'm not? And for some reason I'm crying over the fact that I'm not the only one who deals with this? 'Cause this is news to me. I had honestly thought i was just Different™ and that I was weird for having these reactions to things

#jae's thoughts #so #i should probably get tested #huh #this was quite the revelation tonight #adhd #and/or #autism #adhd & autism things #(apparently?#did not know that before now)

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saviorfoxowlis · 2 years ago

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N:Era: Off the Track Part 8: Vixens, They Will Come and They Will Go

Part 8: Vixens, They Will Come and They Will Go

The spirits watched over. Merciless and enraging thoughts flowed through them, hoping they would finally smite their murderer. However, they could feel a tether, as someone pulled out and revealed their bones.

The tails came down and burned, and in their souls, they felt great warmth, a warmth that cauterized the wounds of hate. A blissfulness fell over them as spiritual power left their bones.

Several Thelosts had Vanos pinned down, but they released him, only having power based on misery.

Several passengers had injuries, a few wounds more severe than the rest, however, they were tended to by allies. Dires licked wounds, healing some of the cuts.

The main crimson floated in front of Cyras and said, "Thank you. You have finally found and purified my bones and now I am almost released from this curse.

"My true name is Sylvana. Finish this tale, please, bury me where my body won't be disturbed again. And, avenge us."

The three spirits faded away.

Rosod said, "Amazing. They took their grudge out on everybody, but at the end of the day, they’ve released their negativity by finding inner peace."

"Poetic, right?" Lilu asked Rosod.

Rosod's eyelashes fluttered as she said, "Yes."

Passengers began mumbling amongst themselves about what was next. Cyras jumped on the top of the train and said, "Everybody, please listen."

As she gathered their attention she said, "Look, nothing here went exactly how we thought, but now we can't go back. We can’t return but there is a way forward. That's how a train works." As she stumbled over her words, she tried to muster some inner positivity.

"Who can pilot the train?"

The Violet from the club car raised his hand. "I guess I can."

A couple of passengers began shouting over one another. "Who did this? Who was the murderer?"

"We got him right here," Rosod said, a Twayt in her grasp.

Cyras said, "I've got an idea..."

***

The door of the furnace room opened one last time.

Lilu entered.

Olivine said, trapped in coal, "I know I'm going to jail. However, I can explain, that what I was doing wasn't even wrong. You can't blame me for my grandfather's mistakes."

"You literally nearly got us all murdered, and for what? What was even the point of trying to mess with or disturb this spirit anyway? Do you still need revenge? You need spirit power?"

Olivine wasn't saying anything.

Lilu said, "Well, we can't let you leave with all of that dark magic in your book, and the spirit wanted payback."

"My grandfather is long dead."

Lilu opened the door as a sienna fox walked in. Lilu shut the door. Cyras licked her fangs while the Twayt took a few steps back into the corner. "I haven't eaten anything good this entire trip."

***

The club car brightened the mood with karaoke. Team N:Era, Baynana, and Rosod all took a turn.

Cyras said, "We know this hasn’t been a great night for anyone, but we’ve got a song for you. If you feel like you haven’t gotten what you wanted in life, or maybe you suffer from sour grapes, this is for you.”

Cyras and Rosod stood apart from each other, as Cyras put down the record.

Cyras began singing,

"I stand across the hall.

You say this isn't easy

But easy never felt as good,

You spoke and said some words that I had never heard."

Rosod tapped her thigh in beat.

"I only spoke the words

I felt that were the safest

But safety never felt so wrong

The chains I wrap around when I hold the key are binding."

The song was only building up, but Lilu stared at either girl, seeing the passion burning in Cyras' eyes. Both crimson and fox's voices fused.

"The sun arisen.

Shadows starker

Give me reason

Before you get darker."

Lilu sat back and sipped her tea.

Rosod said, "Well if you really need to know,

About time you started asking yourself

The reason why you ever even cared

When I see you're still playing me, like a game."

Cyras said, "Well if you really need to know

About time you started asking yourself

The reason why you ever even cared

When I see you're still playing me, like a game."

Ahmond and Baynana stared at one another. Ahmond said,

"The lies now bubbling

The truth has stewed

The pain is hobbling

The storm has brewed

“Well if you really need to know,

About time you started asking yourself

The reason why you ever even cared

When I see you're still playing me, like a game- and if you really need to know,

“About time you started asking yourself

The reason why you ever even cared

When I see you're still playing me, like a toy."

The next part was silent, just bass, but Cyras went off-script.

"Vixens come,

Vixens go

Yet I still look at you

And still I say what's wrong

Why can't you tell me what's wrong

You don't understand

I'm not trying to be cruel

I was only answering back when you poked me with your spikes."

The crowd began clapping, amazed at the emotion these two put into their performance, as Rosod glared icily.

"Well if you really need to know,

About time you started asking yourself

The reason why you ever even cared

When I see you're still playing me, like a game-"

Cyras said, her voice shivering in rage, "Yeah yeah yeah, well if you really really need to know

How about time you started asking yourself

The reason why you never never never even cared

When I see you're

STILL

Playing me

Like a gaaaaaame!"

The audience applauded at the great performance, while Lilu had already left.

***

Upon exiting the train, Cyras put a coin in the slot. Then she dialed the number for Owlis.

Her eyes narrowed to pinpricks, catching Lilu and Ahmond's attention. They silently stood by her.

"I'm sorry," Cyras said before hanging up. "The palace was attacked, we need to get to a portal back to Lavandar as soon as possible."

Ahmond gasped. Lilu's said, "There are no portals from here to Lavandar. They kept collapsing. We'll have to take a train."

Ahmond and Cyras' ears flattened as they whimpered.

Lilu said, "I'm right! I'm not being a jerk. That's the only way."

"Should we get back on a train ever?" Cyras asked. "And why do the portals keep collapsing?"

Lilu said, "I assume if they knew they'd have fixed the issue."

Vanos walked up and said, "Ahmond, you should be coming with us, stop talking with your friends and get a move on."

"The palace was attacked," Ahmond told him.

Vanos' scanned the area for anyone listening in. He spoke quieter. "You mean Owlis' palace?"

Cyras said, "She wasn't clear on any details, so I assume she wants everything as private as possible. Not even people over the phone can hear us. She also said ‘keep the situation as quiet as possible.’ Officially, the palace had a gas leak and blew up."

"Blew up," Ahmond said, "wow."

Baynana said, "That's amazing."

"I'm not gonna jump this time," Lilu said, "honestly her stealth is awesome. Better than Cyras."

"No, she's not," Cyras said, behind Lilu.

Lilu jumped back. "What the- you were in my sight this entire time, how'd you sneak up on me."

"Speak about my stealth again, I dare you," Cyras said. She shook her head. "Anyway, fine, but the train trip better be short."

Lilu said, "Yeah, a couple of cities away, there should be a portal that should get us to Glacialane. Then we can take that to Lavandar."

Cyras said, "Only a couple of cities away, great..."

Lilu said, "You know what really gets me about that whole trip is we never got an answer from Olivine as to why he was collecting spirit's essence. We also aren't sure about the identity of that other twayt he was within his vision."

Cyras shrugged, as she knew the identity they should be seeking was someone who mattered, the attacker of the palace. She sat by a bench that Rosod was at while Lilu got their tickets.

About to open her mouth, Baynana popped up next to her and said, "Oh here's a comic. Rosod really liked this."

Cyras' eyes narrowed but she took the comic and read through. "I didn't like this."

"Oh well, this really picks up next chapter."

"That's great."

"I think this is a good comic."

"I'm glad you had fun. I just don't find this story to be very interesting."

"You can't judge something by only one chapter."

"The story has to fight to keep me," Cyras said.

Baynana puffed out her cheeks and walked away.

"I can't believe you did that," Rosod said. "I wasn't able to shake her off at any rate."

"Yeah. Well, she has to learn to respect your choices," Cyras said, before giving a more hopeful look at the weasel. "So, I'm sorry about what I said on the train."

"Yeah. Anyway, Baynana's pretty annoying."

"I don't think so."

"You think?"

"No of course not," Cyras said. "I have the same passion for stuff, and mine takes me on day-long spirals. So, are we cool?"

Rosod said, “I'll be real with you. My life's not very easy, just like Lilu’s. My parents aren't terrible. They're doing their best. And school isn't terrible, but everything's catching up."

"I never knew that. I guess that's why you're so-”(mean, crude, and rude,)“-critical."

"I wake up and want to go straight back to sleep. A lot’s happened from this entire year that I've known you, and this isn't all your fault. Just that I need some time to process all that’s happened. Imagine having a sprain that you never healed from because you had to keep walking on a forced march."

Cyras said, "I had some idea that, well,” she would invite Rosod to be a member of Team N:Era, but realized that would overwhelm her. “Yeah, you should figure something out in your life. Take back control.” She put on a smile.

Rosod's mood darkened visibly as her eyes became glossy.

"Ever since I lied for money, my parents have frozen me out. Good thing I saved up my allowance, because, I’m not comfortable telling you more but please just keep one secret.”

Cyras said, "Anything."

“You better be sure.”

“Yes.”

"I'm running away."

Cyras stared at Rosod’s satchel and then at her face. "Oh, I see. Take these with you." She gave Rosod the bones of Sylvana, and she put them with her books.

"Thanks. I have to thank you because you inspired me. I know you stood up to Ryvoh.” Well not exactly. “And you left, as did Lilu with her mom. I guess that works. About time I take my leave." The weasel girl stood up and walked away.

Cyras sat on the bench, numb. A lot was happening this year in her life. Everything went off the track.

Thank you for being part of the finale.

#Fox #Foxes #Finaleliterature #Literature #Writing #N:Era #Cyras #Owlis

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danses-with-dogmeat · 2 years ago

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Assuming they all have the capability of reproducing how many children do you think each romantic companions from all of the games would want

How Many Kids the FO3, FO4, and FONV Companions (+ Extras) Would Want

Ohhh, I've been working on more for the FO4 Pregnancy Reveal prompt lately, so I thought this would be good timing 😁 Also sorry I've been so quiet, I'm doing stuff in the background, but my ADHD has been worse than usual and I cannot seem to focus on any one prompt in particular, so there's about a dozen that are partway done atm 😅

Anyway, I love this! <3 Every single one of these guys deserves a second chance and some much needed happiness in their lives.

Feel free to let me know if there's anyone else you'd like me to add!!

FO4

Cait:

Given her past, the thought of having any children at all absolutely terrifies her. How could she ever be a good mother after what she went through with her own parents? How could she know she won't end up screwin' the kid over the same way they did?

No, if initially asked, she'll say no damn way.

However, if it ever did end up happening, Cait wouldn't want just one. She was so alone as a child herself, her parents estranging her before selling her off like packaged goods, and she'd never want her own kids to go through anything like that. So, if it had to happen, it's two, or nothing at all.

Curie:

The synth's been on her own for the span of a couple human lifetimes, so here's to say, she wants to stay as far from that feeling of loneliness as she possibly can. Once she's settled down a bit, done enough research, and determined that it's safe and possible to do so with her partner, she really would like to have a large family. At first it starts with 2 or 3 little ones, but after the last one (every time) she soon decides she wouldn't mind having another. Perhaps once you reach 4 or 5 she'll decide that's enough, but you won't know until you get there.

Danse:

His answer changes pretty drastically from Pre BB to Post BB, but either way, the weight of the decision to bring new life/lives into the world is not lost on him, and he wants to be sure to do it right. Danse never had a family of his own, not one he can remember, and not even one from before his memories were changed, so this? Being able to even marginally settle down with his partner and have just a meager slice of that domestic bliss that he has craved since literally before he could remember? He would revel in the opportunity, and take all of it so seriously.

Pre-BB: He still does admit that he wants kids, that he's always wanted to have a family of his own, but he feels guilty as hell about it. Not only would it mean turning away from his BOS responsibilities in favor of helping raise them, but then they too would be inducted into the faction. Not that he doesn't want that, he's sure he'd never be more proud than that day that his little ones become squires, but it just frightens him. Danse doesn't do well with loss. So... He might just be able to stomach 2 kids going into the faction he loves. It's enough that they won't be alone and he'll have a proper family, but still meager enough for him to keep a close eye out for their safety.

Post BB: As mentioned, Danse has always loved the idea of a big family, or any family, really, but... Now he doesn't think he deserves it. And what would it even be like? Would the child be human? Is he even fertile enough to help his partner conceive? Could something go wrong with the pregnancy? The worries fill his head until he decides that it would be in everyone's best interests if he never attempted to procreate. If it managed to happen though, and the baby came out healthy, he would almost instantaneously decide that he would like more. Maybe one or two to be exact. Yes, three is a good number. Just so long as he can give them all the attention they each deserve, so that none of them ever have to feel alone, the way he did for so long.

Deacon:

There was a time when it was undoubtedly and unquestionably something he wanted. Like, bad. But now, at his age? With his way of life? Deacon is much less sure about the whole 'happy family' endeavor. Before though... Well, two was the ideal number. Just a nice little nuclear family to go with his bombshell wife and his explosive personality... Yeah, that's what he always said. Maybe, deep down, that's still something he wants...

Gage:

It's a bit surprising, really. Even to himself, but his answer is 1 or 2, maybe even 3 or 4. He's not picky, and he knows it seems odd that an old raider like him even wants a kid at all, much less multiple little bastards, but... Gage doesn't fucking know. His life hasn't seemed to be all that meaningful so far, and he's getting to his later years. The thought of leaving something behind, someone behind to remember him, to carry on this way of life, or even to move on from it, to be something more when he just never could be... It's a kinda comforting thought.

Hancock:

It's not really for him, is it? The whole family life. He'd had that, sure. As a kid he'd had a good setup like that, but it didn't really turn out all that well... and now? What kind of father would he make? A chem addict? A delinquent? A ghoul? Nah.

Unless, something managed to... happen. Then Hancock wouldn't run from that shit. He couldn't. Not anymore.

If it was just one kid, he'd be more like a friend than a dad. A cool dad for sure, but if there were one or two more than that, he'd get the hang of the balance between friend and guardian, so maybe... Maybe 3 would be good. A few changes might have to happen on his end, if that were the case, but he knows the little guys would definitely keep things interesting.

MacCready:

Alright, well, let's think about this mathematically, shall we? He's already got Duncan, which really was enough for him when he was on his own, and now you have Shaun. So... yeah, maybe just one more would be nice, just to tie everything together.

Well... Okay, Mac's a bit of a sucker for little ones, so he'd say only one more after Shaun and Duncan, but when that one starts to grow, he'd definitely ask you for a fourth. That's probably where he'd draw the line though. When the two of you are outnumbered two to one. That's probably enough 😅

Mason:

Oh yeah. He'll have some kids, that's for damn sure. You think he's gonna let a good bloodline like his just fade away into nothin'? No way in hell.

Mason's partner will be lucky to get away after 5 kiddos are born, but he's good to keep going until you threaten his fertility. A bunch of little Masons running around the park, causing trouble and headaches, growing up and becoming badass pack members? That's the fucking dream.

Maxson:

He always assumed he would want a large family, somewhere around 4-6 kids should be more than sufficient to help him carry on the Maxson line, even among the dangers of the Wasteland. Not to mention the fact that the siblings would have one another to share the burden of expectation awarded to those with the surname Maxson. They wouldn't be alone in this. Not like he was. He would be sure of that, at least.

And yet, after the first child is born, Arthur finds himself looking at things much less strategically. He may bring the number a bit lower, if only to ensure he can give his attention to each of his kids. They're not just fodder to carry on a name and secure his bloodline, they're kids. His kids. So he'd try to think less clinically about it all and settle for a more doable number, like 3 or maybe 4. If he feels like he can pay proper attention to more of them, then his thoughts might yet change again, but he will not have his kids being raised the same way he was. No proper parental figures, no guidance beyond thoughts of leadership and strategy... that's not what he wants for them.

Nick:

Nick adores kids, and though he never really saw that in the cards for him, if he did have the opportunity to have children of his own, he would 100% take full advantage of it. 3 would be a perfect number for him, and Nick would dedicate as much to them as he could without completely forgoing the detective business.

He'd be scared out of his mind about outliving them, but he tries to take an optimistic perspective and think of the unique opportunity he would have to know his grandkids and his grandkids' grandkids, and so on.

Piper:

She's pretty set right now with just Nat in her life, but down the road Piper could see herself with a couple of kids of her own. She wouldn't want an only child since she knows how close her and Nat always were, but any more than 2 and they might take away a bit too much from her sister and her career. Her answer might change once the kids are in her life, but initially she thinks 2 is ideal.

Preston:

Oh, he makes it pretty clear early on in the relationship, he wants a small army of children. Like... enough to single-handedly inhabit a settlement. No, but he knows how careful and mindful folks with kids have to be in the dangerous wasteland, and he would work his absolute hardest to be the best, most attentive dad possible to, say, around 6 kids.

It's a lot, he understands, and he won't force anything on you, but it's something he's wanted since he was young, and something he holds onto to keep him going on his worst days. One day, he sincerely hopes to have a big family like he's always dreamed.

Sturges:

Aw, yeah, kids are real nice. Sturges has always had a bit of a soft spot for 'em, especially the troubled teens. He finds that putting a tool in their hand and asking help fixing up some stuff around the settlements helps 'em calm down a bit, to see the good in their own work and see that they can fix almost anything with the right tools and support. So honestly, he would be very interested in the thought of adoption of an older kid if you're game for it.

To have his own kid(s) though? Raise them from scratch? He could do that too. All of it just sounds so nice and domestic for a world that's normally so harsh and unforgiving. Sign him up for 1 or 2 of his own and maybe some more that are adopted and a little older and he'll be happy.

X6-88:

No.

No kids. Babies frighten him, teenagers are awful, at all ages they take time, resources, attention, enrichment. Just no...

Okay but he supposes young Shaun isn't so bad. Maybe you can talk him into one. If you threaten to do it with someone else, that'll push him to commit, and he actually does find himself taking to it once the baby arrives, but he's a little pessimistic about the whole thing for awhile, and he'll never want more than one.

FO3

Butch:

Maybe it's the vault-dweller in him, or maybe he's just a big softie at heart, but Butch really likes the idea of having a family with the one he loves. He may act all cool as a young man, but Butch is a hoe for domesticity (he cuts hair for a living), so 3 or 4 sounds wonderful to him. In a few years down the road, of course. He does want to have a bit of fun before really settling down.

Charon:

The ghoul doesn't really see himself as someone whose cut out for kids. He's not... a family type. So, Charon would rather not complicate things by trying to have any. If it happened, he'd try to cope, but he feels like he'd never be prepared for something like that. After everything he's been through? He's just not soft enough to raise a child. He thinks it wouldn't be fair.

Clover:

At first, she never thought of herself as being a mother. The life she's lived, the people she's known... Most of them should never come anywhere near a child. She didn't think of herself as the exception, but once you and her settle down a bit, she finds herself developing a taste for the domestic, and decides 1 or 2 would actually be really nice.

Cross:

She just simply feels like it's not for her. Cross has been married to the Brotherhood most of her life. Her charges, the squires, the new recruits, they have all been close enough to children and family for her to be satisfied. Not to mention Lone themself, and the way she knew them as a baby, even if it was only brief. No, Cross has had her fill of looking after people all her life, of being completely dedicated to a cause, and she'd like to enjoy her retirement and continue her softer work, not as a soldier, but as a mentor of sorts. That's close enough to parenting for her.

Fawkes:

He's much too nervous to attempt anything of the sort, as he simply couldn't cope with something going wrong due to his negligence. However, Fawkes does indeed dream of a decent sized family. If circumstances were different, he could see himself happily living along his beloved with 4 or 5 kids. It would be a handful, he knows, but he's got love and affection to spare, and each one would get plenty.

Gob:

Oh, Gob has such a soft spot for kids. He'd have to work hard at it, and he'd be nervous as hell, but having two or three lovely kiddos with the one he loves would just be... He couldn't imagine the bliss he would feel.

Jericho:

None, nope, nuh uh. Jericho is way too selfish for that kind of thing. He's too foul-mouthed, too dangerous, too old. No way is he throwing some kid into that mix. He's cruel, but not that cruel.

If it managed to happen somehow, he'd actually be more psyched about it than he thought, but it would be tough for him to change, and he'd mostly rely on his partner to do the brunt of the raising.

FONV

Arcade:

Okay, kids are messy, they're time consuming, they're a liability, they're fragile, they suck all of your resources you've built up for your own survival, and he doesn't want any-- ... Unless you do. If you want one, or maybe two-- two tops-- then he'll consider it, and he'd end up loving it.

Y'know those family members that adamantly say 'no' to a family pet and then once it's there they bond with it the most of anyone? Yeah, it would be quite a bit like that. Kids just do tend to like him too. He's not sure why, but it's always been that way. So maybe it would actually be really nice...

Boone:

He's always wanted kids, always seen it as a stepping stone in his life, one of those vital things he has to do. Especially since Carla, and with her, they both happily agreed on maybe 2 or 3 kids, but after everything... Even the thought of pregnancy terrifies the man.

If the two of you make it through the first kid alright, then he does manage to be less protective and nervous, but he cares so much about the safety of his babies. He doesn't deserve them, doesn't deserve this kind of happiness after all he's done, and he knows that, but maybe he's paid off his debt. He sincerely hopes so, so he can finally settle down and be happy. Like he almost was the first time.

Cass:

Maybe in time she'll change her mind, but for now, it's not something she sees in her future. Cass is too independent, too nomadic, she wouldn't make a great mother, with her gruffness, her drinking, her feisty nature. At least now, it's not in the cards, but in the future? Who knows? She always gets dealt wild decks. She'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Raul:

He comes from a decently big family from before the war, and Raul can't help but want that for himself too. So, 3 or 4 sounds good, but he honestly wouldn’t be opposed to more, even.

The ghoul definitely has a hard time with the thought of outliving them at first, but as they grow and start to have families of their own, he finds he likes playing funny, grumpy grandpa to all his little descendants.

Veronica:

Ohhhh, she likes babies, but she likes her independence as well, and despite everything that's happened with the faction, she is dedicated to the Brotherhood still. Give her a few more years, then she’d be down for 2 or 3. Once she's out of the Brotherhood and they can't stake a claim on her children, she would love to settle just a little bit and have a family with the one she loves.

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