#literally hunting for a 20 year old document they already have

[pastafossa]

i hate tax season. that’s it, that’s the post

[dhwty-writes]

What are some historical misconceptions, that really annoy you?

Oh man... You know, I’m really curious what caused you to send this message to me (and whatever it was, do it more often). Saddle up, nonny, you’re in for a ride

The short answer is: basically, everything that has to do with the middle ages (I’m a middle ages nerd, this is My Thing). I don’t know how, but somehow people manage to make it more horrible than it was, while simultaneously romanticizing it.

The long answer? Glad you asked! This got kinda long, so I put it under a read more.

So, basically everything that promotes the idea of “dark middle ages” you can cross out as bullshit that scholars from the 16th and 17th century try to sell to you. They are those who first introduced the term Middle Ages, as literal “middling” period between the antiquity they idolised and the enlightened modernity they saw themselves as part of.

So, here’s two things to remember about the middle ages:

1) It was better and worse than you think.

And 2) you’re not thinking of the middle ages, you’re thinking of the Renaissance.

Here, let me show you:

Medieval people were unwashed and dirty. Wrong. There were plenty of bathhouses in the cities and people in the countryside (so, most of them) bathed in rivers. No, they didn’t bathe as often as we do, but they did do so between several times a week-several times a month. Also, if they didn’t have a full bath, they wiped themselves down with a cloth. They also kept their faces and hands clean. The aversion to water began in the 16th century.

Witch hunts. Nope. The large ones are 16th century stuff.

Persecution of Jews. Well, yes. There were a few smaller-scale pogroms. The large ones you’re looking for is the Inquisition. 16th century again.

Knights wore full-body plate armour. Wrong. The full-body armour began emerging in the late 14th century. In the nine centuries before they wore a lot of mail and leather. Plate was worn until the end of the 15th century and even longer in the Americas.

Dainty women had no idea what sex was. That’s so wrong I don’t even know where to begin. First of all, please be aware that those dainty women (AKA members of the high nobility) belonged to the upper 0.1-3% of the populace. 90% of the people were rural peasants, the rest lived in cities. But even in the cities, even in a castle you are constantly surrounded by people or even animals having sex. And most people regardless of their sex, had had sex before marriage, if they didn’t belong to those 0.1-3%, even the women.

Everyone died when they were like 20. No. Just no. The average is mid-forties. In a society with up to 1 in 3 children dying before the age of 7 that average seems high, doesn’t it? We also know that people were considered adolescents well into their twenties. So, basically what that means is: if you made it to 15, you had good chances of making it to 50 as well.

Children were just considered tiny adults. That’s actually something I found not so long ago to be false and I was so happy! Basically, this can be disproven by various facts: first of all, there were laws about when you could marry and get betrothed (7 years for a betrothal and 12 and 14 for marriage for girls and boys respectively). This shows us that there was some sense of “oh, they’re too young to be considered adults”. And the second thing is very obvious: we have toys. So many toys that were obviously played with. You wouldn’t have that if children were just tiny adults.

Last point: Girls were married off repeatedly to men old enough to be their grandfathers. I am so glad that I can say that that is very untrue. I had already mentioned these ages, but still, that’s awfully young. So, let me talk a bit more about this. If you look at the documents you can see that the common people usually married in their late teens/early twenties (when they had finished their apprenticeships). As for the nobility, of course there were exceptions. There are examples when boys and girls would be married even earlier or just on the cusp of reaching the age requirements. But if that was the case, the bride and the groom were usually of the relative same age. And it was customary for brides to live with their own family until they were fourteen at least. If you’re thinking of Margaret Beaufort (who was 13 or 14 at the point of Henry VII’s birth), please consider that that was a) heavily frowned upon and b) during the Renaissance (again).

 Next is something that really annoys me on this site, which is the refusal to believe historians and instead choosing to believe some post on the internet, mostly without sources.

Yes, it’s true that there is sexism/racism/homophobia in academia and especially in history. It’s true that there are a lot of untold stories. And of course I’d prefer the stories about queer people/PoC/women in positions of power to be true. A lot of them even are.

But. BUT. History is part of academia and like with sciences there are a few ground rules. The most important of those is that if you have a thought you need to prove it. And if someone else talked about that topic first, you need to disprove that first.

So, many of these posts floating around that claim that historians are actually hiding the truth from us, should learn to interact with sources. Because so often there might be sources to suggest such things, but they are not unambiguous, or simply not numerous enough to act as proof!

 Thanks for this ask, nonny, I had a blast!

 Sources:

Classen, Albrecht. Handbook of Medieval Culture. De Gruyter, 2015. 3 vols.

Cybulskie, Danièle. Life in Medieval Europe: Fact and Fiction. Pen and Sword Books, 2019.

Spieß, Karl-Heinz. Familie und Verwandtschaft im deutschen Hochadel des Spätmittelalters. 2nd ed., Franz Steiner Verlag, 2015.

[xanderwithanx]

Chloe does night-time diary posts on HER tumblr, so I'm going to start doing them here, sometimes. It would be nice if you read it, but, please, don't feel obligated! This is more for me to write.

(I got tired of my normal journal, I guess. It's full of bad poetry anyway. Besides, where's the thrill of losing anonymity in a physical notebook?)

I've basically been asleep and depressed for several days, because I had withdrawal after not being able to get my adhd meds. But, I got it today, and DID THINGS. (This is SO much better than before!)

Today, I went to a small café or restaurant (focused on tea) called Alice's Teacup that was Alice in Wonderland themed! My long-standing obsession with Alice in Wonderland knows no bounds. It was a really cute place. I got pumpkin pancakes, and some really good iced tea. Like... REALLY good iced tea.

Still, it seemed like the entire place was geared towards having a pot of tea and snacks with your friends, which left me a bit lonely. The person I asked couldn't come, and by the time I heard back, I was more than halfway there. Still, I read Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead and watched Monty Python on my phone, so I still had a good time!

I dressed pretty eccentricly and effeminately all day, but, with my facial hair, I was ALWAYS coded as a man, even by people on the street! Pastels, a stupid hat, a crop top, and facial hair was a winning combination.

On my way, I was stopped by some guys soliciting for charity. I don't make a habit of stopping for strangers on the streets of Manhattan. What if it's a scam? What if I'm being pressured to buy something? What if it's a strange political rant? But, I had already taken my earbuds off, I wasn't in a hurry, and I'm terminally polite. The first guy said he liked my energy, which seemed to come from a genuine place, because I liked his too!

They were asking for donations for a breast cancer charity, the United Breast Cancer Foundation. After a discussion, it seems like the charity helps pay medical debt, medical bills, and other practical needs, which is much better than *some* others I could name. I regretted not being able to give their minimum there, as it was pretty high, but told them I'd give what I could when I got on the website.

I... did not. Money is tight, because I'm bad and irresponsible with money, even though this is more than a worthy cause. I didn't NEED to go to that tea place, and I don't NEED to spend so much money on food. Sure, I can justify it: I wanted to go to that place for so long, and it was near the college anyway! But, if I was responsible with money, you KNOW my friends direct fundraising drives would go first, worthy charities second. Still, I feel bad about it.

Then, I went to the college library, to get books to start my thesis research. I have literally been unable to go to the college itself, aside from getting my ID, so this was great! There just wasn't a reason. It was... very empty. I went to the library stacks, which was deathly quiet and deeply haunted by the old books. I half expected something to pop out at me, as I turned the stacks, but I wasn't even paranoid or anxious. It was like I was in something else's house. I was welcome, but on thin ice.

I picked up an irrelevant psychology book on the "schizophrenia problem" from the 1930s, out of morbid fascination, and quickly put it down when it threatened to shatter in my hands.

Some students walked past (which was a suprise in those monastic basement library stacks), and I added something to their conversation, in a totally natural and casual way. But, omg the poor girls, I made them jump! Luckily, I'm the least threatening person on earth, and we laughed it off.

After a lot of hunting, I got 5 out of my 10 books (for the most part)! (The rest are, sadly, online. I like to read physical copies.) Strangely, I only came in with a list to get 3 books out of 6.

Most of the books I got are about art in the AIDS crisis, which is the core of my thesis, I think, all with different value. One about exhibitions, one about the larger narrative of those gay artists, and another contradicting the larger narrative.

I also got a book about "Art and Homosexuality". Just, the parallel construction of both "art" and "homosexuality" across cultures and times, from earliest history to the modern age. It wasn't on my initial list, but I'm really excited to read it.

Finally, I got a book called "The Thief, the Cross and the Wheel", about the pain and spectacle of punishment in Medieval and Renaissance European art. I'm mainly interested in Italian Renaissance art of the crucifixion--and its masochism--for the second quarter of my thesis.

The rest are online, and Should mostly focus on Bacchus in the Italian Renaissance (especially through art) and what I call the art of "gay liberation", concurrent with the AIDS crisis (i.e. The Cockettes). These two topics make up the last half of my thesis.

I'm SO excited to get started!!

I even got to cross the college's sky-bridges! (The college is a few skyscrapers.) Still, the loneliness and novelty were kind of the same thought. Imagine if I had been here before COVID, or, if COVID hadn't happened. Who would I have been able to meet? What would the college buildings mean to me? Because, for now, they're just buildings. But, I got to see the street from above, and that was amazing!

Just walking through New York--the Upper East Side--on a cool, sunny day was beautiful. It takes 20-30 minutes to get from my place to the college (and the tea place), but it was great being able to listen to my music (a lot of They Might Be Giants on the playlist today) and see the city. You know, people, super cool old architecture being pushed out by terrible new architecture, and pigeons.

Oh my god, the pigeons. I took pictures, but none of them are good. I kept thinking about how pigeons and doves are functionally the same. We domesticated pigeons, which is why they're here, and no one is stopping to notice them? Even the ones that were splotched with pure white, like doves? There's only so many pigeons you can take until they're just white noise and a nuisance, I know, so don't think I'm blaming anyone! But it's so hard to look away from these quirky little birds.

Also, at one point my walk, I was vaping very strategicly. The mental task of searching through library stacks will do that to you, when you already have an addiction to nicotine. I made sure no one was around, and no one would be affected. I stopped on a corner next to an old, ornate Catholic church while the traffic light changed, and I almost juuled right next to a priest! I'm glad I stopped. I don't believe in Hell, but, I would have walked down there myself had I vaped at a priest. Still, the church advertised itself as LGBT+ friendly, so maybe they aren't so trigger happy on the damnation. Either way, I DIDN'T vape at a priest today, which is good.

Once I got back, I spent a few hours watching things with my amazing girlfriend Chloe, who you may know here as @cisphobiccommunistopinions. She is so beautiful, and I love her more every day, every time I see her. God, it's almost been 5 years!

I just wish I could spend more time with her. She's in Virginia, and I'm in New York. Like she said to me earlier, I'm flighty at the best of times, and, with my lack of object permanence for the digital world, I find myself not giving her the attention I deserve, or, the full connection I long to have with her. We used to live together. Luckily, someday we will live together again! All these problems won't be forever, and we can live together again.

We watched a lot of things, but we're pretty deep into Serial Experiments Lain right now. It's a postmodern anime from the 90s, and, wow, do I have no idea what's going on in it. It's about the internet, and potentially schizophrenia as well. However, I'm obsessed! One day I'll be able to crack this artistic code, and it's unreality, thematic knots, and double-meanings. I will probably understand it better on the second watch. I don't see myself in Lain, but I see my 14 year old self in her, when I had just developed schizophrenia. Her cyberpunk fate seems like it's railroaded towards tragedy, but I want to save her, even if it's silly and irrational.

I told Chloe that I was scared about spilling apple cider on my library books, and she referred to it as "The Great Apple Juice Disaster of September 11, 2021." To which I said that it was the second worst thing to happen in New York on that date. It was funnier if you were there, and also were in my brain at the time.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm meeting some online acquaintances from the college's "Queer Srudent Union" at a Japanese Culture Fair in a park. (I do not know which park.) It emphasizes "fun"! I don't know them very well, but they're friends with the one person I know irl, so it should be good.

Tomorrow night, I should Probably head downtown to check out a gallery show by MFA (masters of fine arts) students at Hunter! After all, I was in a group project with one of them, and they're absolutely brilliant. I missed the Thursday gallery opening by a landslide, because of the aforementioned lack of adhd meds and Being Asleep, which I infinitely regret. I could have listened to all the artists and curators talk about their art and exhibition! Maybe I could have even talked with the artists and curators. But, it's best for me to go sooner, rather than later, so I don't forget. And, I REALLY want to go.

It's "This dialogue which happened to be present in all other dialogues" at the Alyssa Davis Gallery. From the email I got, "Each of these works observes a threshold of transition. [...] [These] intimations [are] of a frame of mind shared by the artists. These works perform, record, access, engage, document, and entrap, embalming the viewer within the gallery space."

sgp is a really good artist, by the way. Their work is just next-level. Be sure to check out their art, if you have a chance. Let me link their portfolio: https://saragracepowell.com/

(I highly suspect spg and the other member of my group project ghosted me afterwards, but I understand. I was really in over my head. Still, they're both really sweet and kind people, don't get it twisted!)

I ALSO really want to see The Cake Boys. They're performing at the 3 Dollar Bill in Brooklyn on September 26th. (It's only $15!) They're the only all drag king collective in NYC! (Are... there any Other all drag king collectives out there?) Other than the fact that a lot of them are trans or nonbinary, which I love, this show is a totally non-judgmental competition for over 40 drag kings! I've heard their shows are hilarious and unique.

I just have to wait until I have $15 to spare. I... didn't eat dinner tonight, because I'm irresponsible with my money and don't want to ask my parents for money... again. Don't worry, it's literally fine, and I don't make a habit of doing this!

Which reminds me! For my birthday, my parents gave me a gift card to Lush! I'm definitely going to Lush tomorrow, which will be great. I would describe my personality as "Lush store employee acosting you about a bath bomb demonstration", so I'll fit right in.

I also made a transition timeline, to show how much I've changed on testosterone. For the better, I hope! I really believe I'm becoming, if not Have Become, the man I was always meant to be. It's so strange to look back at who I was not too long ago, and to know the absolute pain I was in. It's also strange, in a good way, to see the man looking back at me in the selfies. I'm so much happier now! Much more candid in my pictures, at least. But, I know that I'm so much more comfortable as myself than I was even 6 months ago. It's strange. Sometimes I think to myself, "I don't pass yet; I'm not who I Need To Be yet." Then, I look at my selfie from today, and... I'm THERE. My mind just hasn't caught up with my amazing, natural, normal reality.

The end. I have to get ready for bed, (even though I could be partying on a Saturday night in the city. I'm lame.) If you actually read this, I am kissing you on the mouth right now. I hope it made you calm down tonight, like a terrible bedtime story. If you didn't read it and just skipped to the end, don't worry: you did the rational thing.

[scotianostra]

On October 15th 1586 the trial began of Mary Queen of Scots at Fotheringhay Castle.

Settle down, this is a wee bit longer than my normal posts,  some state it started on 14th, but it concluded on the 15th, so here we are.

You might remember my post a month ago when Mary arrived at her last "prison", the place where she would ultimately spend her last days and meet her end.

If the history books are to be believed. Mary Stuart first sighted the ancient castle towers from a path called since the "days of the Domesday Book", Perryho Lane, on hearing the name Perryho,  she is said to have made a melancholy little play on the name exclaiming aloud, ‘Perio! I perish.’ and indeed she did.

Mary was always a threat to the English Queen Elizabeth’s rule. Seen by Catholics as the true catholic ruler of England, there was many a plot to bump off Elizabeth and put Mary on the throne.

For almost 20 years Mary was dragged around England and locked up in its various castles. Having said that she was allowed certain freedoms including rides in the countryside and hunting trips, Fotheringhay was different.

Despite the size of the castle  Mary found herself incarcerated in comparatively mean apartments: this brought back all her phobia of a secret killing, the sort of barbarous death that stained the history of English medieval castles. The most notorious being one Edward II son of Longshanks, "Hammer of the Scots" who some say was murdered at Berkeley Castle, Gloucestershire by being held down and having a red-hot poker inserted inside his anus, and his screams could be heard miles away. although most historians do question whether it is true or not, the fact is he was murdered.

When Mary's servants reported that many of the state rooms had been left empty, Mary drew the correct conclusion that she was about to be tried, and the rooms were awaiting the arrival of dignitaries from London. Just after two weeks later on, October 1st she was informed by her keeper, Sir Amias Paulet that her misdeeds were now to be punished by the interrogation of certain lords, and advised her in her own interests to beg pardon and confess her faults.

Mary's reply was that Paulet  was behaving like a grownup with a small child, asking her to own up to what she had done. Then she went on more seriously: ‘As a sinner, I am truly conscious of having often offended my Creator, and I beg Him to forgive me, but as Queen and Sovereign, I am aware of no fault or offence for which I have to render account to anyone here below. …’ And she concluded loftily: ‘As therefore I could not offend, I do not wish for pardon; I do not seek, nor would I accept it from anyone living.’ For those who know anything about the Stewart monarchs this relates again to the Divine Right to rule, and they would only answer to God.

The charges against Mary were to do with a conspiracy to kill Elizabeth and replace her with Mary, her fellow conspirators included among others, John Ballard, a Jesuit priest, Weshman Thomas Morgan, a close confident of Mary's, and Anthony Babington, a Catholic noble who is said was the ring leader, the plot has gone down in history bearing his name The Babington Plot.

Whilst locked away, Mary advised the plotters, both in terms of strategy and how to ensure she’d win the English throne. And naturally as the ‘rightful’ ruler of England Mary would be the one to sign off on the plot starting. he plot took shape during the summer in 1586.

Babington informed Mary that he represented a group who planned to kill Elizabeth and install Mary as the new Queen of England. Babington asked for her support of their plan. Mary responded, asking for more details.

Unfortunately for Mary, the plot had been infiltrated and Elizabeth I’s own spy master, Sir Francis Walsingham had been using the letters to entrap Mary and get her to call for Elizabeth’s murder. 

Mary agreed with the plans, but did not authorized the assassination. That did not matter however, because Walsingham's spies intercepted the letter. The letter was deciphered and copied but this time a postscript was added. According to the new letter, Mary authorized the assassination. Walsingham had his proof, and so with this false evidence Mary was indicted.

Before the trial even started Ballard, the Catholic priest, was arrested and tortured. It is said that by the time he arrived at his execution site, John Ballards limbs were barely in their sockets, as a result of the torture he’d undergone, of course during his torture he gave up the names of others involved, the main man being Babington, in September the men were executed one after the other and forced to watch as they, in turn were hung drawn and quartered, the same age old punishment for treason. 

After the gruesome bloodbath attention turned to Mary.

Now I'm not saying Elizabeth was faultless in all this but she wasn't keen on trying her Mary, not just because they were cousins, it would set a precedent trying and ultimately executing someone still seen as most of Europe as the rightful Queen of Scotland. Her hand was being forced by her advisors like Walsingham, indeed they had their eye on disposing of the troublesome Mary for some time forcing through an act of Parliament the year before called The Act of Association: this provided means whereby a commission of twenty-four peers and privy councillors might be appointed to investigate any conspiracy or attempt to hurt Elizabeth ‘by any person or with the privity of any person that shall or may pretend to the title to the Crown of this realm’. 

The punishments for anyone found guilty under this act were to be two-fold: firstly they were to be deprived of their title to the English crown forever, and secondly they could be lawfully put to death under the provisions of the Act. It had been quite clear at the time that this Act had been especially framed in order get rid of our Queen, it was tailor made for her. 

The records of Mary's trial were compiled by the notes of those present, who included two persons designated as writers. It would have been nearly impossible to write by hand every word uttered in the courtroom. Some say Mary spoke very broken English due to her time spent in France., I myself find this hard to believe, yes she had been educated in France, but the Four Mary's would have made sure the young Queen could speak the Scot's tongue, at very least.

Mary's defence was set out mainly that, she wasn’t an English subject and therefore couldn’t be held as an English traitor. She’d been denied legal counsel or the right to view evidence being bought against her. Oh and the age old she was a Queen. Anointed by God. It would literally be a sin to kill her.

Therefore, how accurately were the writers able to record her statements? Whose spoken words were left undocumented? Which statements in particular? Did the two journalists favour Mary or Elizabeth, and if so, did they allow this to influence their notes of the trial? A completely accurate record of the trial is unattainable due to the faultiness of its records, some historians just filled in the blanks to suit themselves, depending on their own leanings.

When the trial concluded, Parliament gave speeches and had open discussion about Mary's sentencing. They also held audiences with Elizabeth. During the audiences held between Parliament and Elizabeth, Elizabeth gave two speeches. In her first speech, she declared that if it were not for "the safe and welfare of my whole people, I would (I protest unfeignedly) most willingly pardon her."   Elizabeth asserted that Mary was bound to the English laws but reaffirmed that the late act "was no ways prejudice to her." Rather, Elizabeth explained that the law was in place to warn her, but since Mary still acted against the Queen and the law "was in force," there was no reason not to "proceed against her according to the same.' But, if the laws almost explicitly name Mary, then why did Elizabeth feel the need to restate that they were not prejudiced against her? Now I know I deflected some of the blame away from Elizabeth earlier but It seems that this was just another way for Elizabeth to maintain her image of innocence. 

Furthermore, Elizabeth explained that because of "this last Act of Parliament" she must "order for her [Mary's] death" The Councillors' plan to somehow remove Mary as a threat had worked. Elizabeth felt her hands were tied in the matter due to the Acts of Parliament, which the Councillors had drafted with specific language aimed toward Mary. 

Eventually, Mary's sentence was issued and proclaimed in the English countryside and towns. Immediately following the proclamation, Walsingham drafted the warrant for Mary's execution. The speed at which these documents were drafted  show that Elizabeth's Councillors were adamant about having Mary executed.

In late December of 1586, Elizabeth had the papers for the execution drawn up. On February 1st, 1587, she signed Mary's death warrant. 

I wont go into the execution as I normally post all the details on the anniversary of her death, February 8th 1587, I will however add a few more lines regarding King James VI and letters between Elizabeth and him.

Around the same time Elizabeth signed the warrant, she sent a letter to James, who had earlier requested that his mother be sent into the neutral custody of a foreign prince. 

In her response, Elizabeth asked if James thought her "so mad to trust my own life in another's hand and send it out of my own?

She also refers to the "absurdity of such an offer. In this letter, Elizabeth placed the focus on James's offer rather than on the circumstances surrounding Mary at the present time, basically awaiting her fate. She did not say she was unwilling to give Mary to a neutral prince because she was either considering signing the execution warrant or had already done so. 

Elizabeth withheld from James any more of a response than was necessary. It seemed that she intentional1y focused this letter's content on James's request to divert attention from her intention to sign Mary's death warrant. 

After Mary's execution, Elizabeth wrote another letter to James. Elizabeth referred to Mary's execution as a "miserable accident which (far contrary to my meaning) hath befallen"  

Elizabeth claimed innocence in calling for Mary's execution, but what she wrote next left a sense of doubt as to her innocence in the matter. She told James that she had "now sent this kinsman of mine ... to instruct you truly of that which is too irksome for my pen to tell you.'d While one may infer that Elizabeth sent a kinsman to explain the actual happenings of Mary's execution you  have to wonder if that was truly the case. Could Elizabeth have sent this "kinsman" to explain what she would not want left documented on paper? Elizabeth would have known to not leave a self-incriminating paper trail regarding her true role in Mary's execution. Thus, she sent a "kinsman" to explain the actual circumstances relating to Mary's execution. 

The truth behind what this kinsman actually told to James will forever stay a mystery because these words were just spoken in a private audience and not documented in a letter, just like Elizabeth wanted. The final question remains: was it the work of the Councillors that called for the execution of Mary, Queen of Scots, or did Elizabeth I play  more active role than she wished to admit? 

I myself believe the Councillors did not need to have their arms twisted to call for Mary's execution. They perceived Mary as a threat and made it their top priority to remove her Queen Elizabeth's full part in the murky affair will always be up for debate. 

As ever I have used a lot of different sources when compiling this, if you want more on the trial check the article below out, remember though every source is different so not all that is written here will relate entirely to my post, it is however a more in depth analysis of the trial. 

https://erenow.net/biographies/maryqueenofscotsantoniafraser/27.php Pics are a depiction of the trial and part of the Babington letters held by the English National Archives, more on that here https://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/spies/ciphers/mary/ma2.htm

[witcherheadcanonswithdrkrzy]

Witcher Character Ages Pt. 1

The Preface

Since I have decided to make head canons for “the witcher” I have come forward to bring order into the chaos. So here we are. With me once again writing something I’ve already written in a discord. Buckle up people, this is gonna be a lot. Also Spoilers, duh

To make things very clear: many things I’ll write in this posts are not my work. In fact it’s mostly taken from the following posts

http://www.sapkowski.su/modules.php?name=Articles&pa=showarticle&artid=112#21

https://dtf.ru/flood/30575-vozrast-glavnyh-personazhey-vselennoy-vedmaka

https://witcher.fandom.com/wiki/Timeline

Now the keen eyed reader might notice that two of these links lead to sites that are written in Russian, to which I would say: “You are right. They totally are.”

Now moving on quickly, I will present you with some reference points for the general timeline:

The book-saga: Geralt’s story ends in June 1268, the Assault on Stygga Castle most likely happens in March

The Witcher: May - September 1270

The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings: April - November 1271

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt: May - ? 1272

The Witcher: Of Flesh and Flame: 1273 but it’s a comic so I’ll promptly ignore it

Blood and Wine DLC: 1275

Furthermore and it might not even be relevant but I think it is so I’m including it, there is an interesting document one can find in Wither 3 in Kaer Morhen about the Trial of Grasses. This document suggests the age range for this trial (8-10 years) and considering. Both Russian sites I have linked have made the connection that The Witcher mostly resembles the real world High Middle Ages, which in order suggests the age of maturity being 21 (it’s not mentioned in the English wiki tho, that’s why there is the German link).

So. Now that we got the out of the way let’s get to our first subject:

Vesemir

We have ... literally no idea, BUTT! the timeline I included states he was active during 1112, so he has to be very much older. Apparently he has been around for the construction of Kaer Morhen as well.

The first witchers were put on recorded in the 960s, though the wiki timeline states the 950s (probably a typo). They were created by the two mages Cosimo Malaspina and Alzur (who probaly did most of the work). Kaer Morhen was constructed at the end of the X century, so perhaps Pappy Vesemir was one of the first witchers. Which would mean he would have to been born 939 (earliest). Which would in make him 333 years old during the events of the Wild Hunt.

Ciri and Timelines

Okay let’s get this out of the way now. Most of the short story timelines have been (as far as I can see) calculated with Ciri’s age.

As explained in the first link, in the last book Emhyr and Geralt meet for a second time, the first being during the feast in Cintra (A Question of Price). Here Emhyr states the have seen each other 16 years ago (I am paraphrasing). Ergo: “A Question of Price” happened in 1252.

Ciri was born during Belleteyn, which is celebrated April 30th to May 1st, so it is safe to assume she was born in 1253.

Ciri was brought to Kaer Morhen in autum of 1263 and it’s safe to assume he brought her to the keep as soon as he found her in “Something More”. That means the first war with Niflgaard happened in either 1262 or 1263. The fall of Cintra happened then as well. Not too long before that Geralt met Ciri for the first time in “Sword of Destiny”. 1262.

Also I need to mention one other thing: the game does state Ciri’s year as both 1251 and 1253, but I’m sure we can all agree CDPR made a mistake. Ciri is 19 in W3.

Geralt (and Eskel)

Since Geralt and Eskel are said to be the same age Imma just throw them together, which means figuring out Geralt’s age is key here.

Though the games state him to be almost a century old, it’s rather unlikely in my humble opinion. CDPR might have just assumed that because of Yennefers age (which I’ll get to eventually). However, the books mention another character we can use as reference for Geralt’s age: Nenneke.

In the books Nenneke is described as T H I C C and smol, but never really as old. She’s also rather graceful and quick. Nenneke mentions she raised Geralt, from a young age and mentions his height being around her waist back then. Perhaps Geralt was around 5 years old. The short story in which we can read so much about Nenneke (”The voice of Reason”) apparently happens not too long after Geralt invoked the “Law of Surprise” in Cintra, so maybe around 1253. If we assume Nenneke is in her 50s in that story, and she is probably at least 15 years older than Geralt - that way she would have been 20 when she began to raise him - Geralt’s year of birth can be ranged between 1210 and 1220, to which the article just said “Meh, let’s meet in the middle”. Geralt was born in 1215, which makes him 57 years old. Which means Eskel is 57 years old as well.

From that we can also date the short story “A Grain of Truth”, which is probably one of his first adventures judging by how unprofessional he behaves at times; he talks to Roach (which is a thing that never really happens in the books outside of that story), takes ages to figure out that he’s dealing with a Bruxa, oh and he fucking yells at her. Probably 1235ish.

“The Lesser Evil” also probably happened quite early in his career, so maybe around 1240ish.

Dandelion

Or Jaskier, whichever you like better. His birth year was actually given as 1229, which makes him 43 during the events of the Wild Hunt. Also the second article I linked in the beginning mentions he started singing in 1248, aged 18-19. “The Last Wish” is estimated to have happened in 1250. By that time Dandelion and Geralt have already been friends. “The Edge of the World” chronologically happens before that, so maybe in either 1248 or 1249.

And Yennefer

Yennefer actually states her age in “Tower of Swallow” (1267). She’s 94 in that book, so she’s 99 years old in the third game. She was born during Belleteyn in 1173. In 1250, during the Last Wish she and Geralt were 77 and 35 respectively. Shortly afterwards they broke up, meeting each other four years later in “Bounds of Reason” and probably broke up once again during the events of “A Shard of Ice”. Both of these stories happen in 1254.

On that note, both “The eternal Flame” or how a Witcher befriended a Doppler and “A Little Sacrifice” or relationships suck without compromises also happen in 1254.

**********

Well that’s it for today, Kids. I don’t know when I’ll do Pt. 2, but it’ll probably include Geralt’s Hanse, Lambert, Triss and maybe Emhyr too.

Also, this is literally me rn

Also, I swear Part 2 is going to be less of a mess

[all-the-kookies-fall]

A THEORY: Linear Timeline of reputation

This is going to be a very long read; but it may just include unlocking the 15 Taylor's from the LWYMMD MV so read on if you dare…

 (OK it totally includes the theory, please read and tell me what you think!)

An Introduction:

I've been a casual fan of Taylor Swift since she started. Loved all her radio singles, listened to her albums (at my leisure upon release), and admired her platform and brand image. I guess I became a huge fan after 1989, but around the release of reputation, I realized just how much this woman's music has been there throughout my life and decided to fully stan her. As I fell down the rabbit hole of  learning everything I could about TS as an artist, I became completely enamored with her wits & charms. However, the more I learned to love about her, the more I could feel just a slight inauthenticity; I was constantly thinking of the hypocrisy of how she "never names who her songs about" yet she created this scavenger hunt with her liner notes that seemed to point in an obvious direction of one of her "ex-boyfriends." It didn't align with how she presented herself in every other aspect. Then, I felldowntherabbithole for real and found all of the incredibly documented and organized realm of the Kaylor's, and everything was literally in screaming color.

reputation made even more sense with fresh Kaylor eyes and once I read this Taylor Swift quote: 

reputation, in my mind, is an album that is very linear in it’s timeline. Meaning that it kind of starts out where I was when I first started making the record. The album ends more where I am now in my life. So this is more towards the end of the album, it’s called ‘Call It What You Want.’

my mind became OBSESSED with cracking this code. I had combed through all the kaylor blogs and while I had read everything I could, I still couldn't place it within any timeline. Then, Delicate came out and the code started to crack; I could peek inside and make sense of something, but was still unsure what it was. I put together a loose concept which had some plot holes, but it was when I remembered to revisit the 15 Taylor theory that everything completely revealed itself.

  I would like to start with a disclaimer: I have never, ever actively participated more than lurking or even posted anything on Tumblr. I would like to fully acknowledge that there is a huge, fat chance none of this makes sense to anyone but me, but my husband was really getting fed up with me talking about it and I just needed to share. THANK YOUS to the Kaylor blogs I frequented with incredible analysis and POV of Tay in the media and her music-  @all-my-possessions​ @howyougetthenerd​  @jennyboom21 @karlitakloss​ @kaydar​ @kaylorrepdetective​ @larrienation​ @out-of-the-klosset​ @paradisekisses  @tallcurlygirl​ @taytaysbeard​ @that-curly-haired-lesbian @thoseflashinggreeneyes​ @whaler13bg​ to name a few. (Sorry, tumblr is not letting me tag a few of you.)

 A lot of the information I am providing is not new and connects the dots from the amazing posts from this community. I tried as best as I could to cite all relevant posts - you can definitely let me know if I've made any errors. Please feel free to edit//contribute//comment because I have a feeling that a more seasoned eye would be able to expound on so many more clues and easter eggs!

Let the Games Begin!

Overall Concept/Themes

There are truly some insightful analysis of the overarching themes and concepts of the album already. Secrecy, partners in crime, forbidden love… In general there's a complex theme of Duality to the album; conflicting feelings, Brand vs Self, bad vs good, truth vs reputation etc. I think it's most important to note is that any analysis that views these tracks differently than listed below, can still be correct. Our Queen is a lyrical master plus there's that added layer of intentional dualities in her story telling; there's always at least 3 different meanings to her songs and that's one of the reasons we admire her wordsmith ways.

 The Timeline!!!

 …Ready For It?  - So It Goes… 2012* - 2014

This has long been inferred in every side of the fandom to indicate this is Part 1 of the Story, implied by the ellipses as the beginning and end of the track names. All the timelines I've previously read started at either the introduction of  1989 or even later beginning with 2016/2017 events, but it didn't make sense applied to the album as a whole. Once Delicate MV came out, I began to notice that all of the nods to RED in all these MV's were not just for nostalgia. She is literally telling us that this part of the story was about the end of RED era leading into 1989 - not quite 1989 era just yet. ;)

*2012 is an estimate based on the beginning of the Delicate video; it's possible that TS & KK met before Swiftgron was officially over but who will ever know? Karlie's buzz cut was December 2011 (x). The first half of the album is difficult to theorize specific dates within this period because we really have no idea when KK & TS met.

LWYMMD - New Year's Day 2014 - 2017 (NYD)

I gotta tell you - immediately after reading this, go watch LWYMMD. It was (is?) literally hiding there in plain sight; it's a GENIUS video walking you through EXACTLY what she did (you could say from a satirical standpoint more how the media/GP thought she did) to prepare for this era! When she refers to the "Old Taylor," she's using the term in the exact way her fans have been using: to refer to Country Taylor. She is officially Pop; Look What We Made Her Do when RED, a pop-country album, "a patchwork of songs," didn't win the Grammy. She went full POP princess. This post in particular helped me remember that these songs are not fresh in regards to her life even though they are brand new to us. Part 2 of the story more clearly follows the events of the 1989 era through just before rep's release.

Track by Track // 15 Taylors

…Ready For It?  Intro

I believe this is an introduction of what's to come, an overview of the story. Yes, she's definitely asking herself if she's ready to come out of the closet (x/x), if Karlie is ready to glass closet (x), is her beard ready for the consequences(x), and most specifically, are we, her fans, the GP, are we ready for her to come out and live her truth unapologetically? It's her laying the groundwork to prepare for 1989; her literally coming up with the concept for the whole era which is why we see the references to her 1989 MV's in the glass room. This post  cites the connection to the Dykes on Bikes; are we ready to accept Taylor to not only come out, but be a strong voice and activist of the LGBTQ+ community?

End Game April 2013 - June 2014

I KNOW Taylor is singing to KK about them first meeting - and I KNOW we think they just met before VSFS 2013 (even though there are rumors that say they met sooner…) But, hear me out because this lines up way too easily with the information we get from the MV (x/x). Remind yourself… Who opened for Taylor's RED tour? That’s right, our favorite ginger. It's a nice additional nod with the callback of Everything Has Changed duet with Ed Sheeran. Miami (shoutout to my hometown even though I have no inkling to its significance) tour dates were 04/10/13, London was  02/01/14 (Did she really show us their first  NYE together?!), and Tokyo was 06/01/14.

Irrelevant now but important for later (LWYMMD): And I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put ‘em. This post highlights a cool interpretation of the line that applies to this whole post!

I’ve been doing some digging to try and somehow link Miami in this mix, and this is pure speculation but I feel like Future represents her bearding with Harry Styles. Karlie’s “buzz cut” was in December 2012, and shortly thereafter she was in Miami for a photo shoot. 1/4/12 marks the official break up of Haylor in the US Virgin Islands… it’s a stretch and I’m totally grasping at straws but they are geographically close and it’s all I got for now.

   "Me, I was a robber first time that (s)he saw me…"

I Did Something Bad early 2013

So, I have to admit… IDSB and DBM were the two songs I was having the most trouble placing within the linear timeline; my initial thought was this must have been a metaphor for her confessing her "sins" a.k.a. bearding, to Karlie when they first started dating. This was the song that clicked once I looked through the lenses of the 15 Taylors and reaffirmed my thoughts with the visuals of this Taylor on the cross in LWYMMD. In digging a little deeper, I found a Vanity Fair article - one of the only cover stories found online about TS during 2013. I'm not as confident about my perspective on the linear timeline with this track, however I feel like it's a good start especially considering the next holy church track.

In regards to the "light me up" lyric, and clear visual reference in the …RFI MV as well as the crucifixion of Taylor in LWYMMD, I thought this answer she gave the   73 Questions With Taylor Swift | Vogue video was also interesting to note. The question was what is the one thing she wishes she would have known at age 19 (8:03)?

"Hey, you're going to date just like a normal 20-something should be allowed to, but you're going to be a national lightning rod for slut-shaming."

I'll leave this quote from the April 2013 Vanity Fair interview right here:

"But nobody calls them the kinds of names that get thrown at Swift. “They’re ‘playboys,’ ” Swift says wryly. “They’re ‘having fun.’ ”

By the way, in the Vanity Fair article there's an "authorized source" giving insight to what "really happened" to Haylor aka probably lies.

 Every lie I tell them, they tell me three

Don't Blame Me early - mid 2014

I can really only hypothesize through the lyrics and the Taylor line up that this may be a reference to how the RED "media" circus (as quoted from the VF article cited above) literally made her do crazy things - maybe how her past experiences had caused her to react a certain way in an undefined relationship, maybe how the media circus in general had her guarding her heart, and of course the religious context of the song leads me to believe of course it is connected in that aspect to the confessing of her actions in the previous track. Big Sur trip also falls within this timeline. (x/x/x) 

I once was poison ivy, but now I'm your daisy…

Delicate 2013 - 2014

I think this one has so many beautiful analysis with the music video that syncs perfectly with this time line with no need for additional explanation, and I think it's especially apparent why this Taylor represents TraKK 5 in the line up. (x/x)

It's interesting that Fearless Taylor and Red Taylor were the ones actually fighting on Taylor Mountain in the LWYMMD MV; this may be a reference to her insecurities and headspace during the RED media circus//break up anxieties fighting contrasting to her want to just dance in her best dress Fearless with KK with no inhibitions.

Dancing in my best dress, fearless 

LWYMMD End of 2014

Has anyone noticed the crows in the beginning? It literally hit me as I was finishing this post - a group of crows is called a murder.

We see her Driving a new Maserati (well, car with significant meaning) down a dead end street and then crashes into the pole. (x) She literally killed the "Old Taylor" to get the Grammy - as well as set up clever disguises as red herrings* so that we missed the most obvious clue that this is about the release of 1989. I think even cleverer, how she walks away from the crash unscathed at the end of the MV to imply she rose up from the dead, she does it all the time (with each era release). (x/x/x/x)

*Red herring: something, especially a clue, that is or is intended to be misleading or distracting. In reference to the post regarding hatchets in End Game, she's definitely sending us on the hunt… remember that post above I asked you to note?

 Then of course another hint to the timeline is in the lyrics and MV (look at the date of the tweet...)

I've got a list of names and yours is in red underlined 

So It Goes… October/November 2014

This was definitely the most challenging to figure out, but there's definitely two clear ideas that are represented here - the linear timeline alludes to the HOT KINKY SEX our girls probably had after VSFS '14 (x/x/x) and the death of her 'innocence.' Coincidentally, I had read Slaughterhouse Five for the first time earlier last year and lurking around the Reddit TS  community where they spent so much time trying to figure out how they could circle this back to Vonnegut. Unluckily for them, it is the most heteronormative//homophobic community where even Kaylor posts are censored/deleted/ridiculed etc so they weren't ever going to get it. This song represents a toxic relationship with CH in their eyes, and I can see that perspective… another Salute to the American Queen of Wordplay.

 Anyway, here is a quote from a NY Times (https://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/18/books/review/and-so-it-goes.html)

That is, the constant repetition of “So it goes” makes readers ask themselves about the meaning of death (or its lack of meaning) and the incalculable human costs of war.

The 2009 VMA's Taylor is the epitome of everything her art, brand and music spoke to prior to 1989; and with the Pop princess she was no longer the relatable girl next door. She had gone full big-city, celebrity friends, glitz and glam - feeling so Gatsby for that whole year. With 1989, represented by the LWYMMD music video, that image was shattered, it was the death of her reputation but the true beginning of laying the groundwork for her and KK's future and she truly felt alive. 

Not to mention a song about kinky sex is a huge step away from that image.

So it goes...

And so it goes, now Part 1 of our story is done.

Gorgeous Met Ball 2015

Part 2 moves into the 1989 era starting with the Met Gala. (x/x) I read a great analysis using the lyrics to prove why this song is not about someone you just met because of the intense conflicting feelings. (I have scoured Tumblr to find it and link it but can't rediscover it… sorry I explained I've been a noob and a lurker and I never liked or reblogged anything, I'll update with a link if I ever find it again!) That made me reevaluate my original thoughts of this track being Enchanted 2.0 and representing her meeting Karlie for the first time. This was the first public event Kaylor attended together; it must have been strong conflicting feelings of joy & giddiness of the relationship quickly overtaken by nerves, fear, and anger that she would be found out and/or couldn’t show any outward PDA towards KK at the event. I would imagine there was a lot of drinking that night to cope, thus the “drunk” perspective.

 PS she probably didn’t go home alone that night (DING)😉

 'Cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts

Getaway Car May - August 2016

There are great analysis looking at this song from two main POV's- 1. the bearding CH-TH circus(x/x) and 2. a reflection of Swiftgron in hindsight (x). For the sake of the timeline/15 taylor line up, it was too coincidental that this was the Taylor snapping at the beards in I <3 TS shirts and  from that perspective, fits perfectly into the linear timeline. It is suspect  that TS went against her management in anger of how the "break up" with CH unfolded, and so it would make sense to be a little apologetic towards TH -- the one beard aftermath she may have regretted but that is just pure speculation.

And a circus ain't a love story, and now we're both sorry

  *I JUST NOTICED! She POPS HER LEG for the 7th boyfriend in line - AKA CH. She is SO EXTRA!

King of My Heart August 2016

The below quote and Taylor line up don't need further explanation. 

"I think it’s very interesting when people talk about their love stories. Like when you guys blog about, “my and my husband, me and my boyfriend” or just anyone talking about how they fell in love. 

There seem to be these very definitive phases. It doesn’t matter how long that phase lasts. There seems to be a moment where you know it transitioned to the next phase. People will be like, “Oh my God, we were friends for six years and there was this moment and we knew and then it changed. Then there was a moment and it got even deeper. Then there was a moment and we knew” or like “I saw this person and there was this moment and we knew.” Everyone has a different story with how they connect with someone else and what i find interesting is the moment where it switches. You always hope that switch is going to move forward and not backwards because it can happen either way. I always wanted to structure the song where each individual section of the song sounded like a move forward in the relationship but still being listenable. So I wanted the verse to seem like it’s own phase of a relationship, the pre-chorus to sound like it’s own phase of a relationship, and the chorus to sound like it’s own phase of a relationship. I wanted them to all have their own identity but seem like they were getting deeper and more fast paced as the song went on. So finally I was able to achieve that in a song.”

 Here’s a couple of my favorite analysis regarding this song. (x/x)

 Up on the roof with a school girl crush

 Dancing With Our Hands Tied Mid - End 2016

This analysis  really explains the lyrics and matches the allusion of the Zombie Taylor to make it seem like it is a hindsight song about Swiftgron; however Out of the Woods is the last MV of 1989 era released the end of 2015 (aside from New Romantics your video) and this can perhaps be expressing the death of Taylor’s 1989 reputation after the slew of public feuds. It can also be interpreted as a hindsight song in regards to Kissgate in 12/2014(x/x); how she had found herself coming into 1989, but was a zombie version of that because she had to beard with CH and TH and it perhaps made her feel dead inside. Maybe she’s implying that she would have just taken the fall from grace then put herself through another (particularly long and grueling) fake relationship.

I had a bad feeling

Dress October 2016

Not only is Dress pretty frequently analysed, it's also the most obvious and blatant within the theory.  I thought it was very cute that this was represented by the Ballerina in the line up as a not so subtle nod to Karlie. October 2016 was the infamous Golden Tattoos at Drake's birthday party. (x/x/x)  

Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo. 

Sorry I couldn’t help myself with this gif :P

TIWWCHNT November 2016

Originally, I thought this was the easiest one- yes, the Snake Queen is sipping and serving tea on her infamous feuds however it just didn't fit in the more transparent timeline of the second half. There's been a few posts that hint the track may be a slight diss to her fans. Once it hit me she was alluding to herself as our (the fans) American *dream* Queen, I realized: this song is not a slight diss - it is harshly directed to us, all of us. Hear me out: Just like KOMH is about a love that reflects back on different periods in life, this track also calls to a couple different conflicts with the relationship of TS and her fans. She's never enough for either aspect of the fandom.

I thought it was curious that she would have the "ET TU BRUTE" (x)  as a reference to Kanye because let's be honest, she probably never trusted him after 2009 and rightfully so. "Et tu, Brute?" is a Shakespeare reference and a phrase that is now used to describe a friend stabbing you in the back. This would be more applicable to us, her fans. V1:

It was so nice throwing big parties

Jumping to the pool from the balcony

Everyone swimming in a champagne sea

And there are no rules when you show up here

Bass beat rattling the chandelier

Feeling so Gatsby for that whole year

This easily refers to 12/2014 - Kissgate. Feeling so gatsby for that whole year; throwing big parties. She had to close the gate before she was outed prematurely by the fans watching her during the concert.  We were the last ones she ever expected having to protect herself from; she had been so open, glass-closeting, but the fans took it too far and crossed the line of her privacy. She was surprised by the network that had expanded to track her every move. A couple years pass, V2:

It was so nice being friends again

There I was giving you a second chance

Think back to the election of 2016; Taylor being back in the media and more open again with her life wasn't enough at this point. America had reached a boiling point and everyone had to pick a side; even Taylor's most dedicated fans were constantly expressing their disappointment at her so she changed her priorities and went into hiding.

 As @paradisekisses once posted, “Not everything is about Kanye.”

 Salute to you, our American Queen of Red Herrings

 Because you break them, I had to take them away.

Call It What You Want End of 2016

The lyrics all harken to 1989 (x) and this is when her reputation has never been worse (again), but she’s stronger this time and it didn’t break her as much as post RED era. Not to mention, she’s madly in love and found her end game so nothing else really matters to her; her priorities have been shifted and she knows what truly matters in her life. 

Call her what you want, she is Karlie's Partner in Crime.  it's an obvious call to the gold cage, hostage to my feelings; she will jail herself once more with this ((hopefully)) last beard and that will be the official death of  (2.0? 6.0?) Old Taylor. The best part is the BTS video showing how much fun she was actually having in the gold cage. There are beautiful analysis of this song (x/x/x/x/x)   , and to me it's just the most real/pure love song. Love isn't just about all the good times, it's how your partner and you navigate the bad. Sometimes the worst moments in life show us just how strong our relationships are and bring us closer together.

Karlie what you want, call her what you want to (I can't unhear this in the background now <3)

New Year's Day January 1, 2017

This Taylor is hidden from us because she will probably never be as open with the GP, media, or her fans ever again. Who knows what to come in the future, but she actively tells us "don't read the last page" and to "hold onto the memories." Ugh, this is making me tear up --  I just officially joined the fandom!! Don’t tell me this is it already... (x/x/x) 

This post highlighted the importance of the sunshine necklace with Taylor's obvious sarcasm in the BTS in saying “It’s really important to wear subtle jewelry in music videos, I’ve learned.” (If anyone can forward the gif I’d love to add it to the post :))

Sidenote: technically, isn't this another closet she's in during the rep era?

Wear you like a necklace…

And I will hold on to you...

I had so much fun putting this together and being inspired by all the amazing perspectives the Kaylor fandom has been churning! Hope you like it :) Let me know your thoughts!

[donnerpartyofone]

my pal x

for somewhere around a year now (i have trouble with chronology but that’s probably fair), i’ve had this buddy, who recently disappeared. my acquaintance with him began when i started to visit this convenient bar between the end of my work day, and the beginning of the thursday night radio show i co-host with one of my oldest friends. if i don’t get some time all by myself between these two social events, then i’m libel to lose my mind, so i appreciated the presence of this watering hole in the crumbling industrial campus where the radio station is located. i was worried, at first, when one of the bartenders started to make friends with me, just out of regular exposure, since socializing was the opposite of my reason for being there. once i got to know him, though, i was pretty glad for the company.

X was a terrific bartender who, even though he seemed to have been sober for years, could confidently walk me through the bar’s extensive beer program. besides that, he was a smart, funny guy with a lot of deep cultural cuts to share. i discovered that he had a lot in common with many of my most esteemed friends–he knew both high- and low-brow film, had an extensive awareness of rare independent and experimental music, and brandished an intimate knowledge of the scummier side of many major american cities as they existed in the 70s and 80s. we traded legitimate oddities, like recordings of punk and hardcore classics made by groups of little kids under different weird, hilarious circumstances. i still keep plenty of crusty, beer-drenched handwritten notes from him listing obscure bands i needed to check out, even though some are barely legible. i did my best to keep up with him, to give something back; i don’t have a genuinely deep knowledge of much of anything, but i keep a few cool secrets here and there.

as one might guess from some of the above, X was an old junkie. by “old” i really mean something more like “experienced” or “careworn” or something. he was in his 40s, which is not far off from my age, but he’d been through a lot more than i can imagine. we became closer when he asked me if i would read a passage from a book he was trying to write. he didn’t expect that i’d give him extremely detailed copyediting notes, and unwieldy chunks of my personal reactions to his grimy autobiography. although he was initially nervous about exposing the worst parts of his history to his new friend, he seemed pretty thrilled to get so much work and attention out of me, and i was happy to do it. i didn’t really know how to say that i didn’t think this hubert selby jr style of reportage was in style anymore–contemporary readers who are interested in this kind of underground prose are not necessarily interested in straight white male racial commentary and opinions on sex workers and trans people and such. it isn’t that his writing was so aggressively bigoted, but it was heavily colloquial and of its moment and first-person, and i don’t know if many people are interested in that specific perspective anymore. however, his writing was also engagingly florid, grim, funny, and marked by a very interesting ability to shift suddenly between differing timelines and even hallucinations. i was totally pleased to participate. i only worried that it was too stylized, that it was more focused on attention-getting than on, i don’t know, telling the truth. a lot of my direction was aimed at bringing him back to exactly how something felt or looked or smelled at the time–what literally happened–as opposed to how he thought he should sell it to the public. but, the truth, as he told me frankly was, “i’m sick of being broke.” he had a friend who had had a modicum of success selling his own self-published junkie memoir, and was hoping to supplement his rent-paying ability in the same way. personally, i just thought he should keep writing, because he could.

when i met X he was doing basically-ok, but i had a sense that i had encountered him at the midpoint of a downward spiral. shortly before we met, he had broken up with the love of his life. you got that sense from the way he spoke, in spite of whatever conversational restraint, that he knew what he was talking about, that he had really peaked with her. she was a musician in the latest arrangement fronted by a certain famous and influential lady punk, and he still seemed to admire his ex very much. while he was trying to recover from his loss, he was also constantly on the hunt for decent living quarters. he moved from a punk squat in brooklyn to a sublet situation, under some couple. one day i came in to hear that the couple had blown town. X was sitting at home relaxing, when the u.s. marshals burst in to seize the place; the couple had been just taking X’s rent for themselves, for months, and then vanished, leaving my friend basically holding the bag. suddenly he was homeless, penniless, and without a single form of ID. he was couch surfing in new jersey for a few weeks when he managed to bribe his old landlord with his last $50 to be allowed in for just a minute to get his things. he came out with two large garbage bags that he believed contained his belongings, only to discover that the bags ALSO contained a lot of straight up garbage, meaning he had to find a way to do laundry right away. he had also lost all his personal documentation. getting an ID is so incredibly difficult and anxious-making even if you already have all the qualifying papers, i had an impossible time finding an appropriate reaction to what he was telling me. in america, if you are an adult with no ID, you might as well kill yourself. but of course, you don’t say that kind of thing.

X is a survivor, though, clearly, so i had hopes. as i said, he’d been through a lot by the time i met him. one night i was trying to sell him on the astounding experimental prison drama GHOSTS…OF THE CIVIL DEAD, when he asked me if i liked prison movies. Sure, i said, Not categorically, but I like a good one. after a beat, he replied, “man, i HATE JAIL! jail fucking SUCKS! i been to rikers, i been to sing sing, i been to attica…it all SUCKS, MAN!” on the ellipse, he listed a variety of other famous prisons in other states where he’d lived. it would be putting it too strongly to say i was surprised, given his rough and tumble early years, but i was sort of impressed in some way. unfortunately it was only recently, now, that i started watching a lot of documentary material on penal facilities. at the time i ignorantly laughed to myself, “well of course prison sucks, what a hilarious thing to say…” but the reality is that jail, prison, wherever they stick you, sucks a lot more than is obvious from pure theory. besides the basic and well known problems with the very institution, there’s also the smell, the unrelenting noise, the uncompensated labor, the unique pressures of prison society, all sorts of things that a non-con can barely guess at. i wish i still had the opportunity to ask X if he wanted to talk about it some more.

all that said, it was probably too much for me to hope that X would land on his feet. i mean i still hope that, but i feel a little foolish. one night, one of the last times i saw him, i left him an envelope with a hundred bucks in it. he was naturally delighted, but also extremely embarrassed. the next time i saw him, i told him that i was sure he would have said “no” if i asked if he would accept help, and he confirmed that yeah, it was a good thing that i just forced it on him without asking. over the next few months i had my own shit going on–sickness, family death, mandatory travel, whatever–and didn’t get to see him as often as our usual weekly meet up. when i saw him again, something even worse had happened to him that, typically, wasn’t even his fault: he was out of work for a month due to the sudden emergence of a cyst in his leg that got so bad, so quickly, that he had to buy new pants to accommodate it. apparently, it was the result of a car accident he’d suffered in his 20s. at the time, they told him that he could get a plate in his leg, but he would walk with a permanent limp, and he would certainly never run again. as a young, very broke dude, he refused that extra step, and healed just fine on his own. all the while, the potentiality of this cyst was lurking, and suddenly he found himself unable to stand on his own or even wear normal clothes. it was so close to a major artery that they were unable to lance it. luckily, i thought, he reported that it was healing pretty quickly on its own; he had a good relationship with his boss, and he expected to be back to work in a month.

the last time i ever saw him was about a month after he was supposed to have returned to work. he looked sick, flu-ish, and seemed to have a hard time finding something to say. we’d been talking about The Stranger Beside Me, Ann Rule’s classic true crime novel-cum-memoir about knowing Ted Bundy before and during his career as a serial murderer. as an erstwhile criminal, X had a personal interest in other criminals, especially those who were famous for their personalities. for naive, sheltered people like myself, it’s easy to think about guys like jesse james or whoever, people who represent an archetypal struggle between law and chaos, and whose main battle has to do with money, something anyone can relate to. it isn’t as automatic for general people to relate to the charles mansons and varg vikerneses and henry lee lucases and ed geins of the world. what we law-abiding citizens miss is not really connected to the validity of the philosophies of these criminals, or even the right to life of their victims; the potential appeal of such outlaws is in their loneliness, their permanent and foregone misunderstoodness, and their petulant abuse of a society that barely even supports the people who abide by its rules. joe coleman, the “outsider artist” whose portraits of infamous crooks and perverts have made him famous, has equated his subjects with frankenstein’s monster, and while i have no interest in forgiving misogynistic narcissists like ted bundy, it is still possible for me to understand what coleman must mean. some people, by virtue of their very chemistry, are irrevocably exiled from “normal” society, and then what are they supposed to do? what are WE supposed to do? anyway, the last time i saw X, we met at the bar, and i gave him my copy of The Stranger Beside Me the moment i finished the last page.

at the time, i knew that X had been unable to pay his phone bill, so i didn’t attempt to call or text him. now, it seems that he no longer has access to email, either.

the last time we spoke, X sheepishly admitted that a minister he knew was allowing him to borrow the guy’s private quarters–a bed, a stovetop, a shower–on a temporary basis. i still had hopes. i also had a lot of guilt. i imagined that i should be able to save him. the apartment i keep with my fiance is hilariously small; the door to our bedroom, a room that just barely fits our bed and really doesn’t fit our collective clothing, doesn’t close all the way and makes a loud noise when you open it, and the bathroom door barely closes, and our couch might not even accommodate someone of X’s height. we don’t even have much of a floor to speak of. still, i thought about letting him stay in our hallway, or on our roof, and wondered how long it might be before someone called the cops or our landlord used it as an excuse to kick us out. i also wondered how long it would take for the three of us to be at each other’s throats in this tiny space, if i managed to work this out. i still wonder what i should have done, if i already missed a legitimate opportunity to save this guy’s life.

i never know what to do with people who are in dire need. i see a homeless guy on the subway, and i start thinking, WHAT IS KEEPING ME FROM TAKING THIS GUY HOME TO HAVE SOMEWHERE TO STAY? like what, am i gonna lose my dvd player? couldn’t i live with that? what the fuck is my problem? i finally set up a reoccurring donation to nyc’s coalition for the homeless, but even then i’m constantly asking myself what’s stopping me from doing more. and i mean, i know what’s stopping me from doing more; needing insurance for preexisting conditions, maintaining the private domesticity i’ve committed to with my husband-to-be, fear of being raped, fear of losing my apartment, etc. almost nothing really seems like a good reason, to the fullest extent of my angry imagination. i can’t help imagining that my friend is dead, and there might have been something i could have done about it. it might be a little bit of an overreaction at the moment, but it’s not completely irrational. i don’t know what to think.

[nightmare-afton-cosplay]

Coronavirus Forcing Home Buyers to Scramble to Close Deals

Luke Sharrett/Bloomberg via Getty Images

Real-estate agents are rushing to help home buyers and sellers close pending house sales, as the pandemic poses unprecedented obstacles to a high-touch process traditionally done in person.

House hunting usually involves a lot of contact, from the initial tour or open house to the final inspections and appraisal. The official closing is often an in-person meeting with a notary or attorney who oversees document signings.

With the coronavirus pandemic bringing shelter-in-place orders, the real-estate industry has been compelled to find workarounds for every step of this process, often having to navigate local requirements and consumer anxiety.

Home sales are now closing in parking lots where attorneys pass documents through car windows and throw away pens after each use, said Leslie Turner, founding partner at Maison Real Estate in Charleston, S.C.

“Everything’s just stopped” in terms of new business, she said. “We’re just trying to get the properties that we have under contract across the finish line to close.”

While some of the technology to enable remote home closings has existed for years, many real-estate companies are adopting it en masse for the first time.

“This is a business that time forgot,” said Vishal Garg, chief executive of online mortgage company Better.com. “It operates literally on paper and fax.”

Some state Realtor associations are recommending addenda for home-purchase contracts that extend closing dates if pending closings are delayed because of the pandemic. Buyers and sellers are also scrambling for alternatives to in-person inspections and appraisals, which are traditionally required for sales and loans to go through.

“It’s been a really challenging time,” said Kelli Griggs, co-founder of Navigate Realty in El Dorado Hills, Calif. “It’s just been a different focus—rescuing deals versus trying to procure them.”

Pending home sales rose 2.4% in February from a month earlier, the National Association of Realtors said Monday. Pending sales usually predate closings by one or two months, the association said.

Companies that sprang up in recent years to offer remote solutions for home buyers and sellers say they are seeing unprecedented demand.

Notarize, a five-year-old company that enables documents to be notarized online, expects to process at least $100 billion in transactions on its platform this year, up from about $10 billion last year, said Chief Executive Pat Kinsel.

“A lot of our partner industries are in crisis right now because they cannot complete really important transactions,” he said.

More than 20 states already have laws allowing electronic notarization, and a handful of others, including New York, issued executive orders in March to permit them. A federal bill on electronic notarization was introduced in the Senate in March.

Many notaries, home inspectors and appraisers are self-employed or employed by small businesses. Most of them are still allowed to work, even under various shelter-in-place orders around the country, but many are choosing not to out of health or safety concerns, according to industry groups. Moving companies are also still allowed to operate in many cities and states.

Nick Gromicko, founder of the International Association of Certified Home Inspectors, estimated that three-fourths of the 30,000 home inspectors in the U.S. and Canada are unwilling to do inspections right now. “Financially, it means that it’s going to hurt them,” he said.

Miller Samuel Inc., a New York City appraisal and consulting firm, stopped doing interior appraisals in mid-March, said Chief Executive Jonathan Miller. More lenders are accepting “drive-by” appraisals based on exterior inspections or “desktop” appraisals based on tax records and other documents, he said.

“We’re needed to help keep the economy going,” he said, but “I’m not knowingly sending my staff into harm’s way.”

The Federal Housing Finance Agency on March 23 directed Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to accept alternatives to in-person interior appraisals until May 17.

But some lenders are still requiring interior appraisals, said Bill Garber, director of government and external relations at the Appraisal Institute. “If [appraisers] do have concerns, our suggestion is to reject the assignment,” he said.

Another obstacle is each county’s recording office, which keeps property ownership records. As of midday Monday, 149 county recording offices around the U.S. were closed, another 998 had reduced hours or service, and the status of almost 2,000 was unknown, according to the American Land Title Association, which is crowdsourcing the information from its members.

In the counties with closed offices, “it’s near impossible to actually complete a mortgage closing,” said Steve Gottheim, senior counsel for the association.

Most Americans live in counties that allow electronic recording, but some offices are still paper-based, he said.

The longer these offices stay closed, the higher the risk that documents could be recorded in the wrong order or that the lack of timely property information could enable fraud, he said.

“Between appraisals and notaries and county clerk’s offices, there’s a lot of obstacles to just getting people to be able to close their mortgages,” Mr. Garg said.

As more companies enable remote closings, real-estate executives said the increased use of technology in the closing process could become permanent for consumers who prefer the convenience.

Darry Dykstra used electronic notarization in late March to remotely close on the sale of an investment home in Plant City, Fla. “It was pretty much a no-brainer,” he said. “Even without the coronavirus, I don’t see me going to the closing table anymore.”

The post Coronavirus Forcing Home Buyers to Scramble to Close Deals appeared first on Real Estate News & Insights | realtor.com®.

from https://www.realtor.com/news/real-estate-news/coronavirus-forcing-home-buyers-to-scramble-to-close-deals/

[torchholder247-blog]

The following are 're-posts' by Andrist and his professional peers about him revealing his lack of ethics, his hidden agenda of revenge against all doctors, his outright attack of the intellectually disabled and lies.

11/2012: Andrist post, in 3/2012, with the death of his sister Cali, he was 'forced' to look for work (https://bluefoggyday.tumblr.com/post/36164603548/my-2-week-job-at-costco)

Andrist:'During college, I worked 4 years at Fedco Membership Department Store in San Bernardino; 2 years as a cashier and 2 years in the cash/accounting office. I then spent the next 20+ years working in theatrical production. In 2003, I gave it all up to care full-time for my disabled sister. Unfortunately, she passed away in March 2012, and I was forced to look for work for the first time in a decade.'

Contradictions:

1. Andrist's words of being 'forced' portrays a much different picture of how/why he became a patient advocate and notary than he later claims with great vigor portraying himself as Cali's savior. Given his next life move is to sue the doctors and hospital he blamed for Cali's death (d.3/12/2012) while at the same time initiating a fight to remove the MICRA cap, reveals a common thread of a monetary incentive. Tax payers (MDCR/MediCal..noting Andrist claims Cali never worked) likely paid Cali's medical/death debts if not written off by the institutions first, so only Andrist benefited from the award.

2. Andrist claims that in 2003 he gave up 20+ years working in theatrical production to become a full-time caregiver to Cali. A quick online search finds the theatrical production company Andrist co-founded voted Andrist out, accepting his resignation in 1999 in a 5 to 0 vote (https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1999-sep-05-ca-6949-story.html).

3. Andrist's linkedin resume finds him 'unemployed' between 1999 until becoming a caregiver to his sister in 2003. No gainful employment, no volunteer work, nothing suggesting his life partner was perhaps financially supporting him, so Andrist didn't actually 'give up' anything to take care of Cali. Andrist actually personally profited. https://www.linkedin.com/in/eric-andrist-97478821/

On other sites Andrist claims he gave up his "show business career to care full time for 'both' his elderly mother and mentally retarded sister". (Andrist maintains calling Cali 'retarded' is just what she is: "Cali, born mentally retarded. Yes, I come from the generation that didn’t feel the need for politically correct terms like “mentally challenged,” she was always just mentally retarded. She actually didn’t let much of anything “challenge” her, so that term never seemed appropriate. https://calisplea.tumblr.com/) https://www.facebook.com/repmikequigley/posts/hellomy-name-is-eric-andrist-and-i-live-in-valley-village-ca-i-just-read-a-lette/10150969620415689/

4. Andrist claims he 'took in his elderly mother and disabled sister in 2003' (https://www.linkedin.com/in/eric-andrist-97478821/ & https://bluefoggyday.tumblr.com/post/109493866919/dog-god) A review of online records projects a different story. It appears Andrist's mom, Evelyn, sold her home 9/23/2002 and then bought into a home previously solely owned by Andrist's boyfriend/partner, adding both her name and her son Eric's within that same deed transaction on 9/25/2002 two days later. So in truth, Evelyn was a co-owner of the home, to be clear she was not a freeloader or charity case as implied. The timing of Andrist being added to the home title by deed suggests that Eveyln gave Andrist an early inheritance and retained a share (her name on the deed) to ensure the care of Cali in the future, with Cali likely inheriting a percentage of ownership in the home at the time of Evelyn's death. Evelyn died unexpectedly during elective surgery months later. If correct, Andrist was 'forced' to provide care for Cali or else buy Cali out and forfeit any State Financial Aid Cali most likely had been receiving. Instead Andrist opted for a quid pro quo agreement where he likely received State funds to care for Cali. Cali's death put an end to that income 'forcing' Andrist, as he stated, to hunt a job after 9 years of being her caregiver. No doubt Cali was satisfied with the arrangement, but there were strings attached, no charity or anything noble as Andrist suggests. Does Andrist's truth depend upon his audience and motive? That clearly appears to be the case when Andrist refuses to remove the innocent doctors from his many negative blogs related to his 'Bad Doctors' websites despite his receiving documents of proof of dismissal of all allegations/charges and removal of the online articles by the original reporters he had re-posted. It appears Andrist is motivated by power over the innocent doctors.

Seems this is where Andrist next landed, becoming a notary:

2013 Andrist's Peer Review of him as a notary/owner of Eric's Pro Services (his notary service in the Greater Los Angeles area):

(entire online exchange at https://www.notaryrotary.com/archive/forum/2013/January/Can_I_notarize_a_document_I_fill_out_.html )

Eric, I've been just an innocent bystander in this thread (in which I've learned a lot) but I gotta say at this point in response to your last post, your are such a whiner, crybaby, complainer, idiot, I can barely believe it. You got a boatload of valuable information from notaries across the country, none of whom needed to take the time, esp at EOM, to answer your ill-framed original question. Many either pointed you in the right direction, opened the topic to more discussion and in the case of Marian, cited you chapter and verse. What more do you need to know? A simple thank you for all their input and insight might have been in order. Nowhere else could you have gotten such informative and helpful responses.

But you want "joy." And to be "safe." Go to a spa. In fact, your hostility and foot-stomping tantrum, makes me think you can't possibly be a real notary but a trouble-making plant. Right?

Reply by Lisa X on 1/25/13 2:44pm

Msg #452202

He is a real notary. I looked him up to make sure he was.

Reply by Eric Andrist on 1/25/13 12:42pm

Msg #452183

While it's true that some of you posted some good info and were perfectly nice, some were not. I just don't understand a person's need to belittle another person in ANY way. I always assume a person asking a question literally knows nothing and try to give the best answer I can without making them feel like an idiot.

The, "am I the only person here who...." and "But you want "joy." And to be "safe." Go to a spa," is not hospitable or kind in my book.

I'd hate to think how they treat their customers.

Reply by GOLDGIRL/CA on 1/25/13 12:48pm

Msg #452185

Don't worry about it, Eric, because none of my "customers" are remotely like you. You are in a class by yourself.

And why is it when somebody's appalling behavior is called out to them, they always respond how sorry they feel for others? Just an observation.

(The Irony here is that Andrist consistently on his facebook site 'Bad Medicine Database' demeans and berates people that challenge his post, often name calling and censoring their post to promote his agenda of bullying the innocent.)

3/28/13: Andrist is being accused of Agent Misconduct for 'notarizing a document(s) he backdated'. Andrist's defense on the blog was that he was asked to, then goes into a tirade against the accusatory website.

http://www.notaryrotary.com/archive/forum/2013/March/badnotary_com_A_new_website_badmouthing_notaries_.html

2014-2015 Andrist posted about his efforts to obtain a financial award due to his sister, Cali's, unfortunate death he claims was due to medical negligence https://bluefoggyday.tumblr.com/post/109493866919/dog-god:

Andrist: Because my sister was disabled, with no spouse or children, California's MICRA law nearly prevented me from any legal action whatsoever. It took me over 8 months to find a lawyer who would take my case. On 3/9/2015 Andrist posted that 'I recently agreed to a confidential "settlement" against both the hospital and the doctor, even though I would have loved to have heard a jury find them both guilty'

(Being indigent, per Andrist, his sister, Cali's, medical/death expenses would have likely been either written off or paid by tax payers through her MDCR or Medical. The settlement award went directly to Andrist to use at his sole discretion. For what? He'd already been receiving monthly State checks for her care)

By 4/26/2015: Andrist tries his hand at writing children's books. Lending insight is the one book titled 'Lunch Money' which Andrist claims is based upon his early life experience of being bullied in school. (https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/538542)

(The significance of this finding is that Andrist well knows the victimization he imposes upon the innocent doctors and intellectually disabled persons)

11/9/2015 Eric Andrist on God and the deaths of his sister and mom (his public fb):

Ironically Andrist in another online blog of 1/29/2015 (https://bluefoggyday.tumblr.com/post/109493866919/dog-god) Andrist: He claims he 'stopped believing in God' as soon as he got 'old enough to think for himself. He goes on to explain how the church he loved disapproved that he'd skipped church to go to Disney for his birthday..and it was then that he decided church/religion was all hypocrisy. (A much different story than Andrist creates ten months later on 11/9/2015 when ramping up his patient advocacy position. Which is the truth?... the earlier story written pre-receiving Cali's death settlement abt. 3/19/2015 or the later written post-receiving Cali's death settlement when fighting MICRA to remove the survivor benefits cap, self-promoting for attention)

On Andrist's public fb:

Barbara X: Eric they are healed, just not in the way you asked. They are out of pain and walk with God. It's not easy to to forgive God, I have been there. You asked for healing for your Family and he answered you in the the way that was best.

Eric Andrist: No, they're not healed, Barbara, they're dead.

You're overlooking a very important bible verse that's mentioned at least 7 times, "Ask and ye SHALL receive." It doesn't say "Ask and I'll think about it."

I have no need to forgive God, he needs to be held responsible for his absence. He has allowed far too many horrible things to occur on this planet...he doesn't deserve forgiveness. Think about it: the Holocaust, 911, floods, ongoing famine, AIDS, and I could go on and on. That doesn't even touch on people's tragedies in their personal lives. I've had three tragic deaths in my immediate family and God was nowhere in sight.

I asked for healing and no suffering. All three of my family members suffered greatly before they died. He could have just as easily taken them in their sleep, but he didn't. You can justify it in your own head that they are "healed," but that's just a justification for you to continue believing that he exists. The bible clearly states that when people die, they are dead until God comes back at the end of time. They are NOT healed. And there's no guarantee that if he comes back, any of us are going to heaven anyway because he allowed us to all be sinners! He set up a catch-22 plan! Create people, introduce sin, and then punish people for being sinners. Jesus DIED and was raised from the dead...why would people be anything but dead if Jesus died?

Yes, my mother would be proud that I'm angry about this. She didn't work so hard her whole life to have it end in needless tragedy.

It makes me angry that people have fallen for this scam called "God," and refuse to look at the evidence that clearly proves he isn't there for us.

(Another revealing rant by Andrist, that he maintains a position that he will decide if he should forgive God, and that God must be held accountable)

May 10, 2019: The Medical Board of California suggested that Andrist was 'out for revenge' against physicians.(p 3)

https://www.mbc.ca.gov/About_Us/Meetings/Materials/1950/brd-AgendaItem4-20190808.pdf

(This claim is cross-verified by Andrist's bullying of doctors later found innocent being left up forever on his Bad Doctor websites creating perceived guilt by association with those doctors that actually were convicted of crimes. Andrist admits that he does little if any fact checking or follow-up on the doctors he posts. Additionally Andrist admits in an online exchange with BadDoctorDatabase-Errors, a website created to help salvage the careers/reputations of the many falsely accused doctors on Andrists' sites, that he can do whatever he wants on his sites (regardless of who it harms or of legal rulings) and that he does not believe in 'Innocent Until Proven Guilty')

May 20, 2019: Andrist failed to get elected to his neighborhood council...then whined about it online citing the election was not ADA compliant, demanding a new election and threatening to file a complaint with the City.

https://www.citywatchla.com/index.php/2016-01-01-13-17-00/los-angeles/17700-valley-village-nc-election-challenged

(Ironically, Andrist repeatedly over the past 9 years, as recently as 6/7/2019 (https://calisplea.tumblr.com/), openly discounts any need to be politically correct when calling his intellectually disabled sister Cali 'mentally retarded' (note: Rosa’s Law, signed by President Barack Obama in October 2010).

https://www.federalregister.gov/documents/2017/07/11/2017-14343/rosas-law

Andrist appears hypocritical in his posturing of alleged sensitivity to accommodating the disabled in an election within which he ran given his own admitted refusal to cease offending, demeaning and dehumanizing the intellectually disabled population in his many derogatory references online to his sister, in one article even comparing her to his dog Bandit.(https://bluefoggyday.tumblr.com/post/109493866919/dog-god)

9/7/2019: Andrist obviously ignores the recent outrage to Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Kamala Harris and her response to a rally goer calling President Donald Trump's actions "mentally retarded" at a campaign event.

https://www.politico.com/story/2019/09/07/kamala-harris-mental-health-slur-trump-1484463

[eirenare]

FFXII TZA: a general look on my experience with it so far (hint: it’s amazing)

[SPOILER ALERT!]

...

...

I remember clearly that, when I heard about Final Fantasy XII’s remaster, I wasn’t even hyped. 

I played FFXII for the first time when it came out, 11 years ago, and back then I hadn’t gotten too much fond of the game. I was 13 years old, and the game was full of politics I didn’t quite understand, and thus, it hindered my understanding of the story, and I wasn’t very much attached to the characters either. Couple that with the fact that, at that time, the battle system didn’t appeal to me much, and that I was even more a perfectionist in the sense that I HAD to play with a guide (and there are some other little facts to add), and well, I ended up playing like... just 20 hours, or something like that. It certainly wasn’t a total blast to me.

Seeing this, you can see why I wasn’t hyped. But still, a part of me was like “well, let’s give it another opportunity”. 

And damn, I’m so fucking glad I did. Right now, Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age is hands down one of my favourite FF games, and probably, of the games I’ve played, in general.

Now that I can grasp the story better, and that I have a different mindset (no guides for the first game, for example), I’m enjoying it SO much:

— I’m just in love with the story, with all the tangled politic plots and the magical things, and I’m sooo in love with certain scenes of the game (and the lore that you get provided with when you get documents by beating monsters is amazing, ranging from letters of characters to information of the world and mythology)

— the characters and the relationships between them finally appeal to me, and they do it strongly (my favourite character as of now is Basch and he holds a special place in my heart, but I’ll talk about this later on). Not to mention the pairings, I’m in love with some of them and I enjoy them so much <3

— traveling all around Ivalice is delightful, and goddamnit if it’s not a gorgeous world, both the nature levels and the cities are a sight to behold (that beautiful architecture!), and when you travel, you REALLY feel like you’re in a different place, that the culture changes depending on whatever part of the world you’re in. Hard to believe this is just the remaster of a PS2 game!

— the cinematics are just so good... They’re like little jewels, and everytime there’s one, my eyes are literally glued to the screen. Oh, and the fact that the texts on the scenes are put like that on the bottom half of the screen, with a black stripe, makes the texts very visible for me (I’m so glad about that)

— the side-quests and minigames are amazing and with a lot of variety (from delivering items and the cool hunting to spreading rumours and stealth parts)

— the voice actors are very good (although the sound of the dubbing is still kind of how it was in the PS2 version, it doesn’t have a very very good quality), and the fact you can choose between the JAP or ENG dub is 10/10

— being able to speed up the game is very helpful and saves you a lot of time if you get easily bored when grinding

— I can’t remember if the “constantly visible semi-transparent map” was included in the original version, but it just makes things so easy and it’s so comfortable I can’t help but have it on during long periods of time

I haven’t yet finished the game (I’ve just recently reached Archades, the capital of Arcadia), and a thing or two may vary for better or worse depending on how the game reaches its end, but so far, Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age is being a magnificent journey, and it’s going to be sad when it ends :/ But well... I’ll just go on and play Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings when I finish, and combine it with doing the most complicated missions in FFXII: TZA~

Still, what’s kind of annoying is the fact that I already know a thing or two that are spoilerish, but well, since I know not of the context, it hasn’t ruined my experience :3

Good thing is, when I finish FFXII, I’ll finally be able to search for fanarts, fics and AMVs without fear of more spoilers, haha. So far I’ve read some fanfics and seen some fanarts, and I’ve found very nice things!

What’s better is that my motivation and thirst for drawing and writing is growing stronger within me every day (which is amazing because, not so far ago, I’ve had a hard time finding the will to do any creative thing), so that way, if I can’t find what I’m looking for, I can probably do it myself~

Next time I talk about FFXII I’ll either be sharing my drawings/fics about it or talking about characters and pairings, certain parts of the story that I loved... and Basch. Man, I thought I couldn’t love him more because I already love him a lot, but my last gaming session proved me SO wrong. He’s such a blessing <3 

Having said this, to anyone that may be seeing this, have a nice day (or night)!

[brainsshit]

been getting lots of flashes of lives i almost had lately.

I tried to put a bid on this house ( https://goo.gl/maps/xPEK15y79jC2 ) RIGHT after the papers were signed. it had 1 bedroom and a little loft. I was going to fix the floors and repaint and move in with the dogs. I had such a strong visualisation of sitting up in the loft at my desk next to the window, which the sun streaming me, skyping with my (now ex) boyfriend who would have been going to school at the time. we would be in the same time zone, at least, and part of the reason we thought the long distance thing had a chance at working was because he wanted to move down here eventually, anyway. Everyone who saw the house said it looked just like me. It was selling for 60k. I was heartbroken when i called my agent and she told me it was already gone.

I got a lot farther down buying another place- a condo. one of these: ( https://goo.gl/maps/V12QEyQFU3n ) I dont remember what it was selling for. It was on the second floor. it had high ceilings, 2 bedrooms. a big living room with a fireplace and a deck. the property had a bunch of pools and i was going to start swimming again. the dining space had these big windows and white tile floors, when the sun came in it was beautiful. i was going to put my art table in there. I was going to turn one of the bedrooms into a guest room/library. One of my friends was in the middle of thinking he needed to run away and start over- there was space for him here if he needed it. the offer i made was accepted and we hired an inspector. he found a couple things- relatively easy fixes, if potentially expensive ones, but nothing that made the place a money pit or unliveable. I remember having a long conversation with my brother that he would always be welcome here if he needed somewhere to go. I was going to live here for as long as i could and then rent it out if i ever moved. my loan agent asked for my updated documents so that we could finalise everything, and i started scrambling to find another 1-2k to put down. (i had 2 saved already.)

and then nobody would underwrite it. too many of the units in the complex were being rented out- the options were cash payment or nothing. i was a weird combination of wrecked and relieved.

I helped dom go apartment hunting. I did not let anyone go apartment hunting with me. when i saw the one i did eventually move into, i was less than impressed. i had been drawn to the building but the space itself was weird and narrow and cramped. i got back to the property managers office and they told me my first choice had been rented out while i was out looking. i applied for the one i didnt want.

they called me back a week later saying i had been approved.

the day after i picked up my keys, my mother tried to kill herself.

i moved out the following weekend, less than 6 days later.

it took almost an entire year for the new apartment to feel like home.

that december i made a mistake: i told dad i was ready to take over nelson’s. i was very wrong. It all just…. kind of spiraled from there. One time my ex boyfriend literally sent me 2 months of food. literally i showed up at my home one day to find 2 big amazon prime boxes of food, because he knew i didnt have any money to buy any for myself.

i did a lot of emotional growing, in terms of self care and worth and worldviews but i was (and am) very bad at time management, self motivation

dad is non confrontational until he isnt. he called me in march of 2015 and said something to the effect of “well maybe i should fire you then” and i said “maybe you should,” because i understood and accepted why he felt that way and i did not disagree. he gave me until the end of the month.

i managed to make it there until july

i am still extremely salty about it. not for me, exactly- i mean definitely for me, i fucking hate (hate hate hate, double hate, LOATHE ENTIRELY) not being able to support myself, but literally a life was lost in the process. a cat literally died because of this. dad drove me and kiki to the fucking county animal control building to have her put down, because mom didnt want that many animals in the house. i still dont know what happened to smalls. i fucking hope she found a home. she sure as hell deserves one.

one of my friends- bless them, the cat they do have found the best possible owners for the issues it has- SAW MY POST about trying to find smalls a home, and at this point her fiance finally said “yes okay” about them getting a cat- this happened ON MY POST about smalls- and they asked a couple of general questions and i said that i would be willing to help financially w/the first couple vet visits, i just hadn’t gotten to it yet- and then they adopted a different cat from the spca, who, it turned out, despite a clean bill of health, had like a fucking terrifying rib cage deformity/heart issue. they are, bless them, good people who handled it, but a little part of me was very much like “fucking take that goddamned karma, you assholes” (again cannot stress enough, these are lovely people and i love them both)

my brother drove me to the spca to drop smalls off because at that point i still did not have a personal vehicle, and also i was sobbing uncontrollably the entire time.

i got the job at the post office winter 2k15 and came this close 👌 to leaving school and doing that full time always I got an interview to be a city carrier. i decided i didnt want to, because fucking damnit hell i wasnt going to drop out AGAIN. I would have taken the carrier job in a heartbeat if it had come along before i lost my apartment. i wonder about where i would be if i had.

I don’t… want to be here. i hate living with people, i hate being supported, i hate not being able to keep food in the fridge and not even having independence to show for it. i hate that i fucking got there, i got so close and i fucked it up, and its just fucking gone now and i’m 25 goddamn years old and almost everyone i went to high school with has Real Jobs or families or they’re on they’re fucking postgrad education or fucking something, fucking anything to show for that time and i just

i work for goodwill you guys. this os the most dead-end a job can fucking get. i commute 20 miles to work 6 hours alone in a box and my managers cant even keep the fucking doorbell working. my car and insurance is almost exactly half of what i take home a month. i’m doing, objectively, very well- better emotionally and shit-handlingly than i literally ever have but for the first time i feel like i’m fucking floundering, like it’s not enough and i’m isolated as hell and i hate it, i dont have any time to see anybody and when i do i’m just tired. all my spare time is for sleeping now and i miss seeing everybody, and being able to afford the time or money to do to things- literally any things

[rephemera]

Label · 21st Circuitry

20 November 2018

For the last major type of posts (the other two being "Concept" and "Store"), the "Label" posts are going to introduce ephemera specific to record labels.  This will mostly be limited to CD inserts and, unlike price tags, not be an exhaustive collection—if I have five identical instances of a specific reply card, I'm going to detail the first I come across, and I photographed these going through the collection alphabetically, with compilations coming toward the end.  Any of these which show up as compilations is a demonstration that I don't have anything from the label outside compilations, soundtracks, tribute albums, and related material.

Typically, as I mentioned in a previous post, I don't want to get into "record reviews" of a 20-year-old label compilation.  These are going to be nearly impossible to find in a physical record store, and the only real market is the second-hand market.  The "support the artist" argument for actually buying a record like this in 2018 is utterly facile—the label ceased to exist in 1998, the same year of this release, releasing only two more albums after this album, artists typically stop getting paid when a label goes under, and the ugly truth is that retail sales of albums isn't how most artists are paid in the first place, now, in 1998, or in 1958.  Most artists are paid by touring, and merch at tours.  Even under the best record deals, artists are typically paid $0.10-$0.25 per sale of their own album.  But more on that later under "The CD as Tour Souvenir".  Appearances on compilations are not lucrative for artists, to say the least.

As far as the difficulty of obtaining something like this on streaming services, this is a great example of why solutions like that aren't complete solutions for many people.  The Luxt track is there, but that's it.  Spotify would have to hunt down whoever owns the rights to 21st Circuitry's catalogue to even bother with something like this; label compilations are a frequent casualty of streaming economics, this is common when the label is small, as 21st Circuitry was, and particularly unfortunate when the compilation is actually good, as Newer Wave and Newer Wave 2.0 were.  The return on investment for Spotify for doing that much legwork is incredibly low, and really only works in reverse–some company acquires 21st Circuitry's catalogue, probably with the intent to re-press key albums, and an eye to target feeding the back catalogue to streaming services like Spotify to pull in some relatively low-effort residual cash to fund future projects.

There are, of course, other methods of obtaining albums like this that often have very little to do with the economics of buying a CD or a streaming service, and they're treated quite differently for reasons which are often quite hypocritical—the first is YouTube, where the listener is fairly given a free pass on the supposed moral ramifications of listening to a song that literally nobody is able to legally "monetize" under a label-dominated intellectual property structure, and the second is file sharing.  File sharing is treated as a moral outrage despite the fact that the artists will literally receive as much money from it as they did from my walking into a Harmony House and paying the princely sum of $4.88 since I almost certainly purchased it after 1998.  The same would have been true had I bought it as a cut-out (more on that later), or at a second-hand music store, or today via Amazon or eBay.  Rather than take a rational look at whether any particular aspect of intellectual property law makes sense, however, we shroud it in meaningless phrases like "support the artists" without examining whether any particular act actually does.  Make no mistake, there are many ways to spend money on an album which either do not "support the artist" either in any meaningful way or in any way at all, and there are many ways to get music for free which are entirely legal which are different from other ways of getting music for free which are entirely illegal whose differences to the end listener are mostly matters of delivery mechanism, convenience, legal fictions, or which website or software one uses.  This is not a matter of agenda, as I am not advocating any particular agenda here, it is an easily documentable fact.  Whew.  What agenda I will reveal, however, is that this and its predecessor album, with wider exposure, might have been good enough on their own to justify this label by themselves.  They're very fun:  exclusive (I believe) industrial dance covers of 1980s New Wave hits, which is a spot-on combination in terms of influences and audience.  It may not have been tenable for the long-term unless 21st Circuitry had a stable of artists under its own imprint, but Cleopatra could easily have taken this formula and ran with it as well.  They came close to it, but usually focused on single-artist tributes of wildly varying quality.

There's some delicious tangents out of the way.  On to the regular staple of Label posts:  the reply card.  I've got a lot of these because if I've ever turned any of them in, I simply don't recall ever doing it.  Maybe I did send one or two in for a favorite band early on and stopped since I never got much out of it, or maybe I stopped since I never got anything out of it, I'm not sure.  I never quite grasped the value proposition.  By the time the CD era kicked in and I was buying them with my own money, I was toward the end of high school and they were still quite expensive.  By the time I was buying them frequently, I was in the military, and while I signed up for six years and was almost positive I wasn't going to re-enlist after those six years (and didn't), and even though that only covered two different assignments, it still involves a considerable amount of address instability:  Basic Training, Technical School, an AE zip code where you're overseas but you have what is effectively a US PO Box zip code for most purposes, then in the US, a series of apartments, and eventually a townhouse.  I'm not entirely sure what a person was expected to receive:  more little catalogues of the sort that CDs already came with, US Letter or European A4 printed sheets of new label releases, swag?  I'm sure if it was swag, someone would have clued me in and I would have actually bothered.  The concept of new releases is helpful enough, as this period I'm mostly talking about—1990 to 1999—largely either predates the internet or is concurrent with the internet.

Be sure that by "the internet" I mean the public internet, not the military, university, and contractor internet which is the predecessor to which it owes everything but bears almost no relationship to in terms of culture—the dividing line for culture is quite simple, on that early internet, the closest thing you could be to a normal person and be on it was a university student in particular universities in particular computer labs, and the culture was hemmed in by the requirement that no commercial activity was allowed over the NSFNET, making it a culturally separate creature from the public internet post 1995.  This makes the internet before May 1995 and after quite distinct.  For all real intents, we can talk about April 1995 as "pre-internet" in terms of what we actually use the internet for today, who uses it, and how many people use it.

In that pre-internet era, getting information about new releases wasn't exactly handy compared to today, that much I can admit.  But if you were an active consumer of music, even the increasingly niche corners of musical interest I was getting into at the time, it wasn't exactly obscure gnostic mysticism (unless it was Current 93, then it may have literally been that, but I wasn't interested in David Tibet yet).  I found out about new music and "new to me music" that wasn't new the same way my friends with the best taste did:  by raiding the collections of my friends to find out what was worth borrowing and then buying, scouring record stores relentlessly, some of the few good music shows (120 Minutes Europe on MTV Europe was much better than the US version when someone would either buy a subscription to Sky TV or more likely ... ahem ... hook it up illegally involving a weird proprietary wrench), and most importantly, the best music magazines.

The best music magazines for what I was into at the time included Spin (which wasn't great, but often included short reviews about better albums), AP (which was better), NME (which covered a very broad range of music, but was printed frequently and was huge at the time, both in terms of pages and reach—this was a British magazine which was printed in tabloid newspaper form), and to a slightly lesser extent, Melody Maker (NME's rival which was, at the time, physically similar and a bit more interested in pop music than NME).

Unlike many people, the public internet wasn't a revelation for me, it was an improvement of an older idea.  That older idea wasn't the science-and-military pre-public internet, however.  That older idea was BBS culture typified in the 8-bit and 16-bit consumer computer era, mostly the Commodore 64.  When I'd left the BBS scene in September 1990 to start military training, I didn't have the opportunity to have any actual leisure time until my first assignment in the UK in January 1991.  While I had my C64 there, and purchased my Amiga 500 there from a fellow American (getting a UK PAL system instead of a US NTSC machine would have introduced a lot of unnecessary complications once I had the system back in the US that any retrocomputer YouTuber will happily nod at), what I didn't have running is my handy Volks6480 1200 baud modem—using a US modem in the UK wasn't just a bad idea, it wasn't possible for local systems, and for long distance calls, it would have been some combination of incredibly difficult, incredibly expensive, and incredibly illegal—there was no possible way to do it that would not have actually covered some of all of those grounds.  Getting a new UK modem and exploring the UK BBS scene would have still been incredibly difficult and incredibly expensive, due to technical considerations not entirely worth getting into involving electricity, device compatibility, and the considerable expense of getting a private line into the dorms in the early 1990s.  The dorms had both UK and US power, but that only solves one part of one of the problems.  When my second assignment brought me to the US in January 1993, I re-connected to the BBS scene at the height of its power shortly before its death due to the public internet.

This BBS scene—particularly the version of it which I encountered upon my return to the US—was quite good for having discussions about music, including new releases.  Part of this had to do with the venue—the DC-Baltimore corridor rather than a disappointing rural Michigan bedroom community—but a lot of it had to do with technology, most notably FidoNet, which allowed for distributed conversations.  With FidoNet, it didn't matter if nobody else in your county knew about an artist like T.H.C. (Total Harmonic Distortion, not the other acronym), they could be in Alaska or even Finland since FidoNet was a distributed conversation.  Imagine if Reddit was distributed by a peer-to-peer network where you logged onto a local host instead of a central server, and those local hosts exchanged packets of posts, usually every night.  Some of you might immediately be thinking of Usenet, and that's a good comparison.  The conversations took on a more freewheeling nature since they were slightly asynchronous.  But it was better than talking on the local exurban BBS in the mid 1980s where there were ten regulars on the BBS total, and the only people you shared any music in common were your other two friends who were computer enthusiasts, probably listened to similar music, and who had the same equally good-or-bad information as you did because we were all at the ass-end of the music information food chain as high schoolers in a rural midwestern hellhole safely insulated from challenging trends.

Moving back to the early 1990s, the best approach for a label to get their releases into my hands was to get them into record stores.  With the exception of must-have albums by favourite artists, if I was in a record store, I was more often than not looking to spend money on something interesting to listen to, I wasn't merely looking for a specific record.  If your new release wasn't there, I'd probably find something else.  If I was looking for something specific, and it wasn't there, I'd be annoyed, but if it was one of those stores where the store could "special order it for you", they might as well have asked me if I'd like to order it from China and ship it by sailboat and it would take two months.  "No, I don't want you to special order it for me and take forever, I want you to have it right now and I leave with it and listen to it when I get home, that's what I want.  Figure it out."  Barring that, what I want to do is find another record store that has it.  It should be pretty obvious that I enjoyed being in record stores, so this wasn't exactly a high bar, so that wasn't an infrequent internal response.

What I didn't see the value of was a mailer being sent to wherever I lived when I originally returned the reply card.  I do some work with statistics and music, so I completely understand how the questions on this reply card have value in getting a handle on the demographics of the listeners, particularly in the pre-internet era (putting aside for the fact that this particular album is from 1998, the practice was constant throughout the era where the CD was a primary delivery media).  You couldn't just link it with data from Facebook or Google or Spotify or Apple.  This reply card is replete with questions that smack of this sort of thinking.  It screams "please give us data points" to the point where it sounds like a database asking the questions.  There's no voice of a human in it, much less of a human talking to another human who is interested in the sort of music their record label is actually known for.

Given that there were only two albums released after this, it seems very likely that few, if any, of these cards were ever dealt with in any way—meaningful or otherwise.  What happens to mail sent to a company that goes out of business?  In 1998, and even today, it's very easy for a record label to go out of business and someone to fill out a return card and not realize they're effectively sending a dead letter.  What usually happens in the case of a PO Box, it's just put in the PO Box regardless of who's currently renting it.  Today, that PO Box is owned by an unrelated company, which is unsurprising since the San Francisco Post Office is kind of a big deal.

[rememberthattime]

Chapter 32. Move II. Part III. Sydney

Whew! Made it.

Writing this trilogy has been a massive project, written over four weeks and across several countries. From the start, I knew this was going be a long process given the epic, exciting, exhausting, and wonderful three months these posts had to capture.

Thankfully, with heavy use of bullet points, I’ve finally managed to post Parts I & II. That leaves me with one last post: our arrival.

Part III. The finale. Welcome to ‘Straya.

Technically “our” arrival was actually at two different times: Chelsay landed in Sydney on 1/31/18 while I didn’t arrive until 2/5/18. This keeps happening for one reason or another, but Chelsay & I never end up taking these 8+ hour cross-oceanic flights together. Over the past two years, we’ve combined for 13 flights over the Atlantic or Pacific, but somehow only been together for TWO of them!

Oh well, we bought enough Tylenol PM in the States to knock us out for the entire 24 hour journey anyway. Plus, Chelsay’s early arrival gave her a chance to scout neighborhoods before starting work, and she hit the ground running! Over a series of four days (and as documented in 857 texts), she covered nearly every neighborhood in Sydney, sharing valuable details such as commute times, home quality, and potential for spider infestations. She didn’t just settle for house hunting either, she also set up our bank account, arranged cell phone plans, AND found six Din Tai Fungs near our temp housing.

Most importantly though, she found her way to Sydney’s beaches. We were moving in early February, so everywhere we’d been over the past eight weeks was cooooold. London, Tokyo, Kyoto, Dallas, and Seattle, all in the middle of winter. I never want to forget FaceTiming Chelsay in the few days before I arrived… It was busy season, so I was calling late at night at the Expedia office, looking out at the dark, cold, and wet Bellevue skyline. Meanwhile, on the other end of the screen, Chelsay was in 85 degree sunshine, sipping acai smoothies at Bondi Beach, with the sound of waves crashing & tropical birds chirping in the background. It was an awesome light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel, but it also might’ve been the most jealous I’ve ever been. Thinking about it, the only comparative jealousy was when she ordered ribs at our 2016 Valentine’s Dinner in Copenhagen…

Alas, it wasn’t long until my arrival, and my flight in was a beaut. The connection was a disaster (delayed in SEA so I literally sprinted through LAX to barely catch my next flight). But with clear skies, these 30,000 foot views of Sydney reminded me why I was running. 

The day I arrived was actually Chelsay’s first day at work, but I didn’t mind being alone because the Eagles-Pats Super Bowl kicked off right as I walked into our temp housing. Is there a better way to shake off 24 hours of travel than watching Tom Brady lose in the Super Bowl?  Only if you follow the Philly Special with a jet-lag fighting coastal run immediately afterwards.  (Experiment: as I’m writing this, my guess is I’ll look pretty pale in this first few pictures. I haven’t checked, but watch this space throughout the post).

That first night, Chelsay and I met up at the pristine Royal Botanic Gardens, where we walked through magnificently manicured paths towards my first glimpses of the Sydney Opera House. With the Harbour Bridge in the background, Chelsay and I looked out in awe as we reflected on all the effort it took to get to that exact moment. Late night interviews, visa sponsorship stress, Primrose Hill celebrations, BuzzFeed article and YouTube Sydney research, rushed moving logistics, and most recently, airport sprints. An exciting but challenging past couple months, but we’d finally made it to our new home.

So, status check: I’ve finally arrived in Australia. Yes, technically that’s where this post was meant to begin, but it took 500 words to set the scene… Chelsay had now started working too. Meanwhile, I was very much unemployed.  Chelsay didn’t find out about Sydney until December, so with Christmas holiday, my US busy season, and the Aussie school summer break in January, I pretty much hadn’t connected with anyone in the city. Like I said, very much unemployed.

Networking wasn’t my only priority though. Chelsay and I also needed to decide on a neighborhood, find a house (and furniture, electronics, etc), WRITE THIS DAMN BLOG, and most importantly, plan our first vacation (Western Australia, which I’ll save to discuss in my next post).

All in, there was certainly enough to keep me busy for a few weeks. Despite being unemployed, I was genuinely “working” the same hours as Chelsay. I’d roll into Starbucks at 8, take a break at noon to work out and eat lunch (a deli chicken & pickle sandwich -- the unemployed man’s Chick-fil-a), then head to the park and hop back into emails, or cover letters, or letting profiles, or Western Australia logistics, or this stupid Six Sigma course I signed up for. It’s more fun to write about the “Welcome to Straya” stuff we got into (which I’ll do further down), but I also want to remember how I used my days these first few weeks. (Note: tan)

One more moving logistic-y thing before the fun: our neighborhood decision. With the London move, I spent a whole post discussing how we decided on St John’s Wood. I don’t need to do that this time. What I’ll say is that we knew Manly was the neighborhood for us all along, but spent a week or two trying to convince ourselves that it wasn’t.

Remember the post about Chelsay waiting to hear back about her interviews? About how I’d researched potential neighborhoods even though she hadn’t been offered yet? ...Yeah, I’d picked Manly all the way back in November. It’s a laid back coastal town, filled with friendly young families and expats, and a self-sustaining number of shops and restaurants. Actually none of those factors matter... Manly Beach is TripAdvisor’s Best Beach in Australia, so I could’ve just stopped there.

There’s one downside to Manly though: in a country that’s already remote, Manly might be the most isolated neighborhood in Sydney. The town, which was literally a quarantine from 1820 to 1980, is on the very edge of Sydney Harbour’s northern peninsula, right at the mouth of the Pacific Ocean. It would be an hour drive to CBD, but the more efficient commute is by ferry, which:

Only takes 20 minutes

Passes the Opera House each way

Gives you the chance to see the occasional whale or dolphin on your way to work

Costs $7.50 per person per trip, or $30 per day total

For about 10 days, that last bullet was a deal-breaker... We actually moved on from our dream neighborhood and started looking in Coogee, Bronte, Bondi, Surry Hills, and Double Bay. By the time our first day of tours rolled around, we’d narrowed our options to Bondi & Coogee, and Chelsay & I felt okay about a few of the homes we toured. We’d gone through all of our Eastern Suburb options in the morning though, so with half the day left, our agent proactively scheduled a few tours in Manly.

When we arrived, it was just so obvious that this was the place for us. It comes with all the perks of a slowed-down, chilled-out beach community (beautiful beach, best surf in Sydney, and I can walk around without shoes on), but still has all of the activities we wanted nearby (shops, restaurants, tennis courts, running trails, and access to all 20 of the Northern Beaches).

Chelsay and I had to make a big decision. We knew we needed to live by the beach… Genuinely, this might be our only chance to ever live by a beach, so we really don’t have a choice. Well, what is the best beach town for us? Manly. Okay, then that’s all that matters and we’ll flex our spending to make the commute work. …That said, you get what you pay for with these views every day.

So, we decided on Manly, and then we took the best property available here. It’s on a hill and might be the highest point in town (no need for a gym membership), but it’s also two blocks from the beach, has amazing views of Manly and Watson’s Bay, and is entirely renovated. We moved in, unpacked all the US boxes we hadn’t seen in two years (it’s crazy how much useless junk we owned), and made an infinite number of trips to furniture outlets. We’re still not completely settled, but very happy with our sunrise views, runs up & down the mile-long beach, and back-breaking wipeouts while boogie boarding (maybe I shouldn’t have been all the way out by the surfers?).

Now. Enough logistics - on to the activities. In our first month, how have Chelsay and I taken advantage of living in Sydney?

Well, it all started very touristy, with routine trips to the Harbour Bridge, Sydney Opera House, and Royal Botanic Gardens. These might be obvious, but there’s a reason they’re so popular, and these views could never get old.

After the established favorites, we started getting into more local cuts. On Valentine’s Day (which is not celebrated here at all), Chelsay and I saw the very funny An Act of God in Darlinghurst. Some of the play actually relied on audience participation, so of course Chelsay got picked (she’s a magnet – the same thing happened at the Robot Restaurant in Tokyo). Like literally every audience participant ever, we were awkward and so God (or at least the actor playing God) playfully joked around with us. We used an intermission bathroom break to dry off our sweat.  

Speaking of performances, we also saw an outdoor movie (I, Tonya) in Centennial Park. The movie was great but the real show came beforehand. As the sun set, while laying back in our bean bags and eating Oporto (the new & improved Nandos), Chelsay and I looked on in awe as beautiful reds, oranges, yellows, AND BATS filled the sky. WTF, is this normal?? I had no idea there were bats in Sydney, but apparently I was the only one. Everyone else just casually carried on like there weren’t rodents flying around above us.

Other unusual activities: Chelsay & I arrived right around the Lunar New Year, which comes with a host of bizarre festivities. ~20% of Sydney’s population has immediate Asian ancestry (with 7% actually born in China), so the holiday is a big deal here. Whether walking through food markets, past train stations, or under the Harbour Bridge, it was impossible to miss the unique celebrations.

We’ve also managed to make friends in our first few weeks here. In London, it was tough to get together with other couples because our friend group was always travelling. We’d try to grab dinner or drinks with Brooke & Mike or the GEP crew, but genuinely have to schedule six weeks out because they’d be in Rome for two weekends, followed by Chelsay & I’s trip to Iceland, and then their parents would be in town, etc. With Australia, our vacations will be longer but more spaced out, so we have more weekends in Sydney for BBQs or hikes or time with friends. This social renaissance started in our first few weeks, with boating in Sydney Harbour (where the captain didn’t tell us there were sharks in the water until after we finished swimming), picnics on Manly Beach, and a couple’s hike from Spit Bridge with our Manly friends, Pete & Megan.

Chelsay and I also got out for a day-trip on our own, venturing an hour from the city for an 8 mile hike through Royal National Park. We heard about some Figure 8 pools on RNP’s coast, so arbitrarily found a loop trail that could take us there. I knew the pools themselves would be cool, but the prettiest views came from the hike itself: untamed palm jungles, coastal breeze along the headlands, and expansive coastline as far as you could see. (PS, update on my tanning experiment: solid coloring in the first few weeks)

To go with all these activities, Chelsay & I have also started to establish our inventory of food options, including: Sunset Sabi’s Japanese fusion, 678 Korean BBQ, Three Blue Ducks’ breakfast, Coogee Pavilion drinks, Harajuku Gyoza, The Whiskey Room, Bill’s breakfast, Thirsty Bird fried chicken, Bulletin Place cocktails, Mappen soba, Alice’s Makan Malaysian, Vic’s Meat Market brisket, and everything that was going on at the Grounds of Alexandria.

What has been the biggest highlight of our first month though? Without a doubt, it’s been Manly itself. We’ve only been here a week, but I already love this neighborhood so much. It feels like a resort town (which it was, until Aussies discovered flights to Bali). It’s so rare to find a place that offers quality, cleanliness, activities, and beach vibes. In Manly, the locals are as warm as the weather, the views are breath-taking, the restaurants are delicious, and shoes are definitely optional. After three months of bouncing around, Chelsay and I couldn’t have found a better place to finally settle.

Summarizing my last three posts, we moved from London to Sydney.

Okay, that’s over simplifying things because this prolonged move took three months and covered FOUR continents. Instead, I’ll use the bags we lived out of to summarize how far we’ve come.

On December 12, as Chelsay and I closed the door to our London flat for the last time, we knew we wouldn’t have our own home again until we were settled in Sydney. For the next 12 weeks, we’d be living out of the same bags we rolled around Heathrow that day.

First stop for our bags (and us): Japan, where we experienced the neon lights lifestyle of Tokyo, and enjoyed historic holy temples in Kyoto. Next, our bags arrived in Dallas, TX, where we busted out our specially-packed Christmas sweaters and cherished being home for the holidays. We then temporarily unpacked our bags for a month in Seattle, where we spent January reuniting and reminiscing with family and friends. Then, for the last leg of our trip, our bags caught a one-way flight to Sydney, where we wore the swimsuits we’d packed while it was snowing in London.

Now, as I write the last sentence of this three-part moving post, our bags are empty and stored away, finally unpacked in their new home.