#literally having a breakdown because i had to write it in something Once just now. insane and pathetic it should not upset me this much

[theflyingfeeling]

fic talk in the tags 💝

[avpdgirlfriend]

goddd i fucking hate my legal name i hate it i hate it why did my mom have to give me such an ugly and super fucking uncommon name like i have never heard of anyone else w my name in my fucking life i hate it!! i hate that its so easily identifiable i hate it even if it was something i still didnt like couldnt you at least have chosen something more common i have such bad paranoia witg this shit

[ihavethedreamies]

Good Enough | Jisung

Park Jisung - NCT Dream

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~6.3k [more than half is smut btw]

Pairing: Jisung x AFAB!Older!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Smut, Some Plot, Friends/Roommates-to-Lovers, Absolute Filth

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Summary: Jisung is tired of his noona treating him like her little sweet baby.

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Pet Names (Noona, Sweetheart), Swearing, Very Dirty Talk, Kissing, Lots of Tongue, One Spank, Oral (M! & F! Receiving), Deepthroating, Face-Fucking, Rimming (Just a tad), Size Difference, Size Kink, Soft-Dom! Jisung (oof), Sub! Reader, Breeding/Creampie Kink, Overstimulation, Squirting, Unprotected Sex (Use a condom! Reader is on the pill)

Author's Note: I had a mental breakdown while writing this lol. This might not acutally be the filthiest thing I have written, but it feels like it because of who it's for…for some reason. It's hard for me to believe that Jisung got so fucking hot, because I remember him sitting on Taeyong's lap, but he's a MAN now. i'll sit on his lap

P.S. FUCK

I am cross-posting this on Archive and Wattpad. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other sites. Happy reading!

"He's my precious."

"Your roommate is your precious?" Jisung heard voices creeping in from the living room. Groggily, he glanced at the clock on his nightstand, head peeking out of his blanket cocoon. He was still jet lagged after getting back from Korea, so it was about 3 pm.

"Yes. And he's not just my roommate-"

"He's your precious?"

"Yes. But! I was going to say he is my best friend…and my precious baby boy."

"Seriously? Isn't he only like two or three years younger?"

"My precious baby Jisung." He huffed at your coo, dropping his head back on his pillow in annoyance. For some reason his summer trip back home to see his parents triggered something in him. Jisung was suddenly extremely displeased with your relationship. He missed you horribly and you were pretty much the only thing he talked about. Once he was informed by his mother that he likely had fallen in love with you, he was…upset. More with himself at first for not realizing it, but then looking at how you two interacted, he got cranky. He was not your precious baby Jisung, he's a man dammit, had been for nearly four years. Did you see him that way though? Not even remotely. He was a step above a puppy, at least you accepted he was a human. But you constantly went on about how cute he was, and sweet, and 'a bean'; whatever than meant. You had even called him your son on a few occasions, and even though they were mostly in jest and unserious, now they really pissed him off. Jisung didn't want you to see him as your son (maybe give you one) but what really was bugging him barely made any sense. He had only heard you say it once, but it stuck in his mind…

"You realize half of the people on campus want to fuck him, right?" He was in his final year of college, and the only reason you were still in college was because you had stuck around to work for the IT department. Your friend's question was not news to him, but he was much too shy to go for any of the advances he had received. He was also much too in love with you, but he hadn't known that till literally the month before, but it made sense.

"Not allowed."

"Why?"

"Precious baby."

"He's not a baby, (Y/N). Not even close." You didn't reply for a bit, and he could vividly picture your distasteful expression.

"He might not actually be one, but he’s, my baby. My baby Jisung."

"(Y/N)." Your friend's annoyed tone was not nearly strong enough to match the levels he was feeling. Definitely not able to continue his nap, he sat up aggressively from his bed, kicking at his blankets before wrangling his comforter and throwing it onto the floor. Resting his elbow on his knee, he then rested his forehead on his hand, trying to breathe out his ire so he could leave his room without being visibly grumpy.

"My sister wants to ask him out."

"No."

"Why not?"

"No one is good enough."

"No one?"

"Nope, not even me." That was it, you said it. That simple thought was what really set him over the edge. You were the only one good enough, no one else could even be close to you in his eyes. Finally, the anger boiled over and he climbed off his bed, putting a sweatshirt on so quickly that he had to wrestle it in his haste. You kept the apartment so freaking cold… You must have heard him wrench his door open because your conversation immediately stopped. He stormed down the hall, even his socked feet were heavy on the laminate wood floor, so much so that when he came to the mouth of the hallway, you were looking at him with a shocked expression. You were sitting at the coffee table with your friend Hana, various papers spread on the surface while your friend studied for her graduate classes. Your green snake Squishmallow sat on your lap, and he wanted to grab it and throw it across the room, suddenly jealous with how close it was pressed to your chest.

"Ji?" It was clear you didn't think he heard your conversation, but Hana immediately realized, starting to gather her homework.

"I'm gonna go." She nearly shoved the papers into her folder and threw everything else in her bag.

"What? Why?" You turned back to her, and he then realized what you were wearing. Your slightly damp hair had moved out of the way, revealing the design on the back of your baggy t-shirt. It was his.

"Wait, Hana?!" You tried to get up and go after her as she dashed from your apartment, shooting Jisung a look as she shut the door. You had to shove the table to get up better, and even as you stood, you still clutched the plushie to you. Jisung exhaled harshly, storming forward and grabbing your Squishmallow and yeeting her onto the floor.

"Woah?! What'd she do to you?" You motioned to her with your hand, giving him a questioning look. You started to bend and pick her up, but his hand grabbed your wrist, pulling you back up and toward him, making your balance falter. Your bewildered eyes scanned over his face, but you still had no anger in them. Not even annoyance. You couldn't get mad at your baby boy.

"Ji?" His big hand easily held your wrist, and you squeaked when he dragged you even closer to him, so much that you could feel his breath flutter your hair over your forehead. His brow was furrowed, lips pressed tight to each other, but he couldn't seem to meet your eyes.

"Hey, you okay?" Your other hand came up to brush some of your hair away from your face, only leaving it down to dry. Your fingers then moved to his face, trying to brush his bangs out of his eyes. Having you so close and seeing how far you had to reach made him realize how small you were. He was well over half a foot taller than you and he wondered how small you would look under him. When your fingers brushed his cheek, his other hand grabbed yours, easily swallowing it in his grip. Jisung held your hand, pulling it closer, and laid your hands over his heart. With his other, he yanked you the last little bit, so you were pressed to him, wide eyes rapidly scanning his face. Your head was tilted back, almost painfully so, still not recognizing what was happening. The hand around your wrist moved so his thumb could rub your skin till it pressed against your palm. Your gaze went to your hand then, shocked at how small it was compared to his, and you seemed to be registering how small you were compared to him in general. Did he really grow so much since you had met him four years before? Your gaze went back to his face, finally seeming to notice that his face had changed as well. Yes, he was still cute, but he had become devastatingly handsome, maturing into a…man. No, he wasn't a baby anymore, but you were in denial. Even then, pressed against him, even able to feel his toned muscles through his sweatshirt, you kept trying to convince yourself he was still your baby Jisung.

"Jisung?" You exhaled his name, so quiet that if he wasn't so close, he wouldn't have heard. Your eyes followed his when they flicked down to watch your lips move when you whispered his name.

"What makes you think you're not good enough for me?" His voice rumbled through you, its deepness shocking you for some reason. When had that happened? You were so thrown off by the pitch of his voice you barely registered his question.

"Huh?"

"No one else is good enough for me, because they're not you." His hand had dropped your wrist so his arm could wrap around you, and he pressed his cheek to the side of your head. He nuzzled your soft hair, the familiar scent of your shampoo soothing his anger some.

"What?" You stood still, stiff even, trying to process what was happening.

"I don’t want to be your baby Jisung anymore, noona. I just want to be yours." He was a bit surprised with his sudden eloquence, but he just chocked it up to all his upset burning away any shyness he had in the moment. The anger had faded, and he was just upset, tired again, praying in his head that you would get the fucking hint. Your hand, the one he let go, had rested on his chest for balance, then he felt your fingers clutch the fabric of his sweatshirt. With his fingers wrapped around your right hand still, he could feel that your pulse had quickened, and you were minutely shaking.

"Y-you…?" You swallowed hard, tongue running over your lips, mouth feeling dry.

"I thought I just had a crush on you. I don't. I love you." His softened voice floated right into your ear with how his head rested on yours. The back of your nose and throat burned as you swallowed hard, tears sparking in the corners of your eyes. When you hiccupped, sniffing, he flinched, pulling back from you. It was only just enough that he could see your face, his arm still around you, hand still in his over his heart.

"Noona." He sighed softly, dipping and kissing the corner of your eye where a tear had slipped down your cheek. Nope, that made it worse. You burst into tears, chest heaving, and he pulled you back into him. You were…dramatic sometimes. Cried easily. Too easily even. Jisung loved to tease you for crying at a commercial where a little girl brought a quilt out to her sheep in the barn close to Christmas. You also tended to cry around puppies.

"I-I…I-!" Your breath was heaving too much for you to really talk. His nose nuzzled your hair, and he kissed the crown of your head. You sniffed, taking a few deep breaths.

"I love you too." you whispered, if you spoke any louder your sobs would take back over. He didn't know, but while he was gone you were in a much similar situation. You went to visit your parents as well, but it was just an hour or so drive, not across the world practically. You missed him so much, and wouldn't shut up about him, but your mother knew you well enough to see read between the lines. Because it startled you, having romantic feelings for Jisung, you became even more dramatic with the 'baby Jisung' talk.  He was your best friend, and so of course you loved him, but you couldn't admit you were in love with him. You were so worried about ruining your friendship that you just ignored your logical thoughts and pretended you hadn't fallen for him. Nearly fighting him when he pulled back from the hug again, you stayed pressed to him, not wanting him to see your face. Not only was it red from your blush, but it was also blotchy from your crying and your nose was close to running.

"Noona." He huffed a laugh, trying to get you off of him. You gripped his sweatshirt tighter.

"(Y/N)." Jisung was fully laughing at that point, partially from your actions and partially from how ecstatic he was that you loved him back.

"No."

"Noona."

"No." Finally, with a bit more force, he pulled back so you could see each other's faces. The warmest smile you had ever seen was on his face and you froze when he leaned in closer. His forehead bumped yours and his nose crinkled, cringing a bit at his own actions but it made you giggle, which made it all worth it.

"Since when?" you asked. He laughed bashfully, lips pursing.

"I didn't realize how bad it was till a few weeks ago while I was still in Korea. But…I knew before that. Something made me realize…"

"What?" You were shocked when his giddy but shy face fell into one of panic.

"W-what?" His face bloomed red, all the way to the tips of his ears and he tried to bow his head to avoid your gaze, but you could just look up into his eyes.

"Uh, well…" He cleared his throat, trying to pull back further but he didn't let your hand go.

"Jisung?" You pressed with a fake stern tone.

"I…had a dream." He faked a cough to try and hide.

"Yeah?" You were clearly not understanding that he was so reluctant to say what it was, because it was filthy. It even made Jaemin blush. The extreme embarrassment in his eyes when they finally met yours clued you in better. You stepped closer, a coy look spreading over your own face, and he took a step back. His hand was still holding yours though, so he wasn't that desperate to get away. He clenched his other hand into a fist, bringing it up and pressing his mouth to his forearm to hide his face.

"Was it something bad?"

"No! Uh…" With each step you tried to get closer, he backed up, till his back hit the wall.

"Was it naughty?" You teased, and he sneered at the cringey word. Your eyes, still a bit puffy from crying, were creased with amusement.

"Uh, I mean…"

"Do you we do something dirty?" Your head tilted up to look at his face as he tried to hide, fingers clenching yours jerkily, the digits desperate to wiggle.

"M-Maybe."

"What?" You smirked, trying not to giggle. You were always more open about sex stuff, not quite like Jaemin or even Donghyuck, but still more than him.

"No." He was throwing your method of deflection back at you.

"You know," you got up on your tip toes so you could whisper into his ear, "if you tell me, we can do it?" Your suggestion made his whole body freeze, blood turning to ice. He nearly gasped when his blood then rapidly heated, the sound of his pulse whooshing in his ears.

"Are you sure?" he whispered, needing to make sure because even just the slightest detail would reveal too much if you weren't. You nodded with a hum, then gasped when he switched your places, hand cupping the back of your head, so it didn't thud into the wall as he pinned you to it, his other forearm holding him up over your head. You could only blink in response, looking at the conflicted expression on his face.

"I don't want to hurt you." What the hell had he dreamt? You were dying to know.

"You won't." Jisung's eyes met yours, brow furrowed in worry.

"I could."

"You could, but you won't. Plus…" Your hands came up to mess with the strings of his hoodie.

"Sometimes a little pain can feel good." Jisung searched your face and saw the determination in your eyes. The hand on the back of your head dug harshly into your hair, tugging at your scalp and you gasped when his mouth sealed against yours. Your teeth clacked against his with the force of the kiss and you whined, trying to match his fervor. You couldn't. His leg nestled between yours, pressing close and against your core, and you had to stand on your tip toes. The fingers in your hair twisted the strands around them and he tugged harder, tipping your head back more, compensating for him looming over you. His knee hit the wall, his leg literally hitching you up an inch and you moaned at the pressure. Jisung snuck his tongue into your mouth then and your breath was rough out of your nose, saliva drooling from the corner of your mouth. Panting hard, he pulled back, eyes searching yours. His arm against the wall moved down to your side, still holding him up but also pressing into your waist. The hand in your hair left, the tips of his fingers soothing the slight sting he left on your scalp, then cupped your jaw. Your face looked so small cupped in his palm and something carnal, feral, rose in him.

"You're so little, noona." Jisung's tone was nothing like you had ever heard from him. His hooded gaze focused on your mouth when his thumb easily pressed against your lips, his fingers still stroking the back of your head. You watched his brow quirk up when you took his thumb between your lips, sucking on it. You had expected a blush to erupt, for his voice to sputter and for him to pull back. No. He smirked.

"Do you have any idea what I want to do to you?" Your head had to tilt up once again when he pressed even closer, chest to chest, leg still wedged between yours. You wondered if you had soaked through your panties and thin shorts, and if he could feel it. Then again, he was in sweatpants, but you could feel the fabric clinging to your folds and he had only kissed you. Yes, his thigh was pressed into your covered cunt, but he wasn't moving you on it.

"Tell me?" you whispered when he removed his thumb, eyes focusing on the shine of drool left on it. If you didn't know him better, you would take his intense expression for anger, but even with knowing him so well, you couldn't read his face. Jisung slipped his hand off your jaw, fingers pressing to the back of your neck, thumb resting under your chin. His face came close once more so close his lips brushed slightly on yours as he spoke.

"I want to fuck you so hard you can't walk for the next three days. I want to fuck you so stupid you can't even speak, just whine and beg for more. I want to make you cum so much that your cute little pussy stings. I want you to swallow my cock and I want to cum down your throat." You were going to pass out, you were sure of it. With how quickly the blood rushed to your core, your head swam. Where had your sweet little Jisung gone? How long had he been thinking like that? He couldn't even meet anyone's eyes if sex stuff got brought up around friends. But his words were thick with lust, and they swam into your ears and fogged your brain like a drug. Your thighs twitched, body shuddering when a devilish grin spread over his gorgeous face. He wasn't cute right then; he was destructively sexy, and it took your breath away. You don't think you could ever see him as your sweet little friend again.

"What do you want, noona?" The pet-name even came out different, he said it with near reverence, the single word a one-eighty from the four words preceding it.

"I want…I need you to do anything you want to me." His grin fell, he groaned, and his tongue was back in your mouth. He could taste the candy you had been eating while you spoke those fateful words, eagerly circling your tongue with his. You keened a whining moan when the hand at your neck tightened slightly, his thumb pressing into your windpipe. Your breath hitched, somehow where he gripped it gave the same heady feeling without actually restricting your breathing. What stole your air was the pleasure you were feeling just from his kiss. Your hips jumped, desperate for some friction, grinding your covered pussy against his thigh. Helpfully he pressed into you more, lifting you against the wall more, the weight of gravity pulled you onto him harder. The arm at your side that had been holding him up moved, he was using his knee then for balance, and his fingers teased along the waist band of your shorts. You whimpered when his hand continued, sneaking its way into the back of your shorts and panties, the hot pads of his fingers meeting your slick folds. You shivered and took heaving breaths when he removed himself from the kiss. His other hand was still at your throat, but he released the light pressure, making your heavy breaths easier to control.

"You're soaked, noona. For me?"

"Fuck, yes, Jisung." Expecting a kiss when he moved closer once more, he gripped your jaw, tilting your head back, thumb hooking your bottom lip. You let him move your jaw, holding your mouth open, waiting for his next move. His grin broke when he let a glob of spit fall from his lip and into your awaiting mouth. Without needing a prompt, when his thumb left your mouth, you swallowed.

"Good girl, noona." Slowly, he pulled away from you and the wall, stepping back only enough that he could take his hoodie off. He went ahead and let his shirt underneath go along with it and your heart leapt.

"Fucking hell." You gasped, reaching forward to eagerly run your fingers over him. While he wasn't necessarily to the level of Jeno or even Jaemin, for having a dancer's body he still had muscle. When had that gotten there? He barely wore anything tight let alone without sleeves, so you had no idea. He felt a wave of bashfulness rising, so he took control once again, pulling your small hands from his skin.

"Off." He prompted and you grabbed the hem of his shirt you were wearing, and he finished the job, tossing it down the hall. Clicking his tongue at your bra, you started to reach around your back to undo it, but he beat you to it. With an easy flick, it snapped open, and you let it drop, wide eyes staring at him. Where the fucking hell had he learned to do that?

"Jaemin." He must have read your mind and that made plenty of sense. Not able to even process your next move, he scooped you up easily, pressing you back into the wall. You squeaked, wrapping your mostly bare legs around his waist, fingers digging into his shoulders, he was more or less eye-level with you then. He dropped you a bit, preferring you under him more, and his nose nuzzled under your ear. He felt the goose bumps rising on your skin against his, his top just as bare as yours. His hands once again buried under the waist band of your shorts, fingers so long that the tips slipped out the leg holes of your panties, cupping your ass perfectly.

"God, Jisung!" Your body twitched when his light nuzzles immediately turned into open mouth kisses, then he sucked hard, working the skin with his lips and teeth. Popping off of your neck, his tongue ran over the flesh, blood rising and pooling at the surface. The fingers on his shoulders tightened, the blunt edges of your nails digging into his skin, and his own hips jumped then. You had been trying to ignore the tent in his pants, but he grinded his hardened cock against your cunt, only a few layers of fabric between. Jisung seemed to be big in every way.

"You still on the pill?"

"Yes, why?" You shuddered once more as he licked at the third hickey he left, that one on your collarbone.

"I need to fuck you raw." He groaned as your cunt throbbed, easily feeling it against his cock even with the clothing barrier.

"Want to pump you so full, my cum's dripping out of you for hours." Your eyes rolled back as you whined, head thrown back. You squeaked when he jostled you up higher, those beautiful and surprisingly sinful lips sucking in a nipple. Sighing at the feeling, he wasn't pleased with the gentle noise, and so he nibbled the peak instead. You yiped like a dog (ironic since he was planning on fucking you like one), a little dazed by how high up the wall he had you. Despite the altitude, he seemed to be easily holding you up, though he was able to use the wall for help. When his mouth moved to your other breast, he smirked at the red and swollen nipple he left. Your body felt like it was on fire and you both still had your pants on.

"Can I fuck you raw, noona? Feel your pussy cling to my cock?" His mouth was at your ear again, having dropped you back down to an easier level. His dick hadn't even entered you and you felt too stupid to talk.

"Please." You mewled and your submissive tone made him groan. Jisung's hands left your shorts, shoving them down off of you as he partially let you go. Your feet dangled slightly as you toed off the last of your clothes, then you yelped as he slung you over his shoulder like a sack of rice.

"J-Jisung-!?" You yelped as his hand smacked your ass, most likely leaving a big red print on your skin. The sting of the spank sent tendrils of fire right to your cunt as he stormed down the hall toward your room, your bed bigger than his. You flinched at the slam of your door as he closed it, huffing as he nearly dropped you.

"Knees." He prompted, ordered, and your body instantly obeyed. Going down the rest of the way to the floor, you sat with your knees in an 'M', gazing up at him with big glossy eyes. You were trying hard not to gape at the bulge in his sweatpants, or to run your gaze hungrily over his bare torso.

"Go ahead, noona." He nearly laughed at your eagerness, quickly reaching for the waistband of his pants and pulling them off, his hard cock bobbing in the air before you. Your wide, enraptured stare on his dick gave him a rush of nerves and pride all at once. While you came to terms with your fate, he shoved his sweatpants to the side, and you shuffled forward. Whimpering, your hand wrapped around the base of his cock, big and pretty like him. Swallowing your eyes met his.

"C-Can I grab something?" Your request threw him off, but he nodded, and you scrambled up and to your nightstand. Trotting back over, you stood demurely before him, holding the item out with both palms up. He took the little bottle from you, looking at it.

"Throat numbing spray?" His brow crooked and he looked at you, biting your lip with a giddy glaze over your eyes. It still had plastic wrap on the nozzle. Nodding once, you sank back to your knees, and he groaned low when you opened your mouth wide, tongue out.

"Why do you have this, noona?" His tone was slightly patronizing as he tore the plastic off, then spritzed the watermelon flavored spray into your mouth. Swallowing a few times, the dull sensation you could even register faded, leaving a very minute feeling in your throat.

"Guess." You giggled, hand wrapping back around his cock. Jisung buried his hand in your hair again, tugging hard to make you look back up at him.

"You've used it before?"

"I'm not a virgin, Ji." Your normal, casual tone didn't sit right with him in the moment, and he twisted your hair again, the stinging twinge making you moan softly.

"Only for me now?"

"Yes." You nodded to further emphasize your point, and his grip loosened. With a much softer hold on your head, he pressed you closer, letting you take over. Swallowing a buildup of saliva, your tongue swirled around the head of his dick, the salty taste of his precum eagerly lapped up. He was barely half-way in your mouth when the head hit your numbed throat, your jaw protesting some already. His eyes shut as he groaned, only fluttering open to watch you take his cock even deeper down your throat. The spray helped you not to gag, and you swallowed over and over, holding your breath, your nose pressing to his groin. Your hand fell, landing next to your other one as you pressed your hands to the floor. Pulling back enough that you could breathe, you twisted your head like a curious dog, eyes searing into his.

"Ready?" You moaned and his hands were back in your hair, hips jumping, burying his cock back inside your throat. Despite the numbing, tears sprung to your eyes, a slight gag leaving you. Holding still like a good girl, Jisung pumped his fat cock into your mouth and down your throat, breathing harshly through your nose when you could.

"Fuck, you feel so good, noona." He sighed, head thrown back, making sure not to use full force as he rolled his hips. Even with him holding back, you could feel the strength of his movements and you felt a puddle of wet forming on the laminate floor under you, cunt clenching around nothing.

"You better swallow it all, (Y/N)." He tried not to whimper, but he couldn't help it, letting you inhale deeply before burying his cock all the way into your gullet, pumping thick strands of hot cum down your throat. Your core spasmed, eyes fluttering as you eagerly swallowed over and over, the heat of his release warming your chest. When you woke up that morning you never dreamed you would be eagerly swallowing Jisung's cock as he came buckets down your throat. As the last little wave died, he quickly removed his still half-hard cock, brow furrowing with worry as you gasped for air. Tears were flowing down your cheeks, face red and messy, but you opened up, tongue out, to show him you obediently swallowed every drop.

"You're so fucking good, sweetheart." You gasped softly, the pet-name going straight to your needy cunt. Jisung used his index finger to gather the saliva and pre that had dripped down your chin, letting you lick it off.

"Get on the bed, it's my turn." As soon as his finger retracted, you stood quickly, albeit shakily and went to stand by the bed.

"W-which way?" His hands on your shoulders turned you to face the bed, back to him. With a shove, you fell onto the mattress, chest pressed to the surface, hips bumping the end of the bed. You then heard a light thump, and his hands were back on your ass.

"Fuck!" You gasped as his thumbs spread your soaking folds, blowing a stream of air against your fluttering core.

"Did you cum when I did, sweetheart?"

"Y-yes."

"Good girl." You could hear his smirk, then you cried out as you buried your hands into the sheets, his tongue burrowing into your hot cunt. Jisung easily held your hips still, his arm wrapping around the front of your legs, his free hand splayed over the small of your back. When his tongue left your pussy, it swirled over your clit, and he sucked it in once before running through the slit of your folds and wiggling back inside. He did this a few more times, eagerly drinking your slick.

"Fuckfuckfuck." You shuddered, not even able to warn him as your next orgasm hit, much stronger than the small one you had not even five minutes prior. He held you down as your body shook, gummy walls fluttering and throbbing around his tongue.

"You taste so good, noona." You nearly heard him lick his lips, pulse still whooshing in your ears.

"A-ah?!" You squealed when his hands parted your ass cheeks, his tongue moving up from your soaking cunt and swirling over your pucker.

"J-Jisung!?" You gasped harder, not sure how to feel about the sensation. Grateful you took a shower not even two hours ago, you still weren't really expecting his tongue to go from your pussy to your ass.

"Don't worry, noona. I just wanna taste today." He lapped over your pucker once more, then pulled back, huffing in amusement at your still twitching thighs. You were already tired, he could tell, but he was painfully hard again. Jisung's thoughts ran rampant as he tried to decide how he wanted you as he fucked you first. Your pose would do just fine.

"Hm, so wet, sweetheart." He stood so he could lean over you on the bed, one hand by your head to hold him up, the other hand leading his cock to run through your folds. You knew it was big in your mouth but feeling it at your entrance made you shiver. As the head of his cock started to breach your gummy walls, the burning sting made you sigh in delight, the heat of his skin scorching through you. Breathing hard, trying to relax, your cunt fluttered still as he buried deeper, slowly. His deep, low groan faded into a chuckle as he watched your pussy suck in his cock. At the last inch, he snapped his hips, filling you fully, head pressing into your cervix.

"Ah, FUCK!" You white knuckled the sheets, toes curling, forcing you to tip toe, his pelvis pressing to your hips. You breathed raggedly, getting used to not just the burn his fat cock forced from your walls, but the stinging pleasure the same burn forced through you. You hadn't been fucked in way too long, and you were already sure no one would ever feel as good as Jisung did right then. You had needed him, not just any guy, but him. That's why you hadn't tried looking for a date, your subconscious knowing you needed your sweet friend to rail you stupid. Jisung breathed hard as well, trying to let you get at least a little used to the stretch, but your sticky, wet heat felt too good.

"I need to move, (Y/N)."

"Please~" You whined, squealing with delight as he pulled back no more than halfway, then slowly back in. It was like he sucked the air out of you, then forced it back in, but his next thrust made you see stars. As he leaned over you, hips battering your ass with hard, shallow thrusts, his hands laid over yours, weaving his fingers through yours. The sweet move was overshadowed by his animal pace, your whimpers and squeaks just as feral. He was still trying to hold back some, but when he couldn't hold back a hard snap, he felt the same flutter as before and ground his cock into you as you came, spurts of slick coating his groin and balls as you squirted over him. Your shudders and pulses lasted nearly twice as long and when you finally laid still, he started back up himself. Your cunt stung slightly, not ready for the friction once more, but the pain just fueled the pleasure. Without the bed underneath you, you would have melted onto the floor, no strength left. Wanting to protest when he unwound your fingers, he fell forward, his bare chest to your back. Not too tightly, he wrapped his arm under you, across your collar bone, then chest, pulling you up just enough that the arm around you restricted you, forcing your elbows to your hips. Your nails dug into the fabric under your lower stomach, Jisung easily holding you up just a bit from the bed. His other arm also snaked around you, his hand laying over your lower stomach. You were sensitive there, more than most people, and just the pressure alone made you mewl. Jisung pressed harder, able to feel the bulge of his cock below your skin and as he settled into position, you realized why he was holding you so tight. He was holding you in place. His next thrust started with only the head of him inside, then he barreled his cock back into you, fucking you with abandon. You gasped, not able to even squeak or moan, mouth open in a silent scream, drool dripping from the corners of your mouth.

"Ji-Jisung-! Please, fuck!" You breathed out, your next orgasm washing over you, leaving the friction painful. The pain crested hard and fast as he continued to pound into you, fading back into pleasure. So much of your release and wet spilled from your fluttering cunt that it dripped onto the floor, down both of your thighs.

"I'm going to cum, noona. Fill you up, yeah?" He whimpered deeply, almost groaning, hips faltering just slightly.

"Yes, yes, Jisung!" He dropped both of you to the bed then, pressing you down into the mattress, gouging his cock as deep as he could, and pumping your protected womb and cunt full of hot cum. It spurted out in globs with your own cum, dripping a bigger puddle on the floor, the hard pulse of his cock even stronger as he filled you. Your vision blurred, ears ringing as you came once more, grateful that he stilled, actually really hurting at that point. Reveling in his full weight on your back, he then registered he was laying on you like that and pulled up just a bit.

"You okay?" He nuzzled the back of your ear.

"S-stings." You got out hoarsely.

"Ah." He winced with you as he pulled his still half-hard length from you, more globs of jizz and slick leaving your cunt.

"I don't think I'll walk for four days." You muttered. It took him a second to register what you meant, before he burst into laughter, pressing his sweaty forehead to your shaking shoulder.

"Good enough?" Jisung asked, making you hum.

"Fucking perfect."

Master-Master List

NCT Master List

[redvelvetcupcakes21]

In a write-y mood...

Buck feels stuck in place while he watches Athena and Bobby reunite. She's banged up and bloody but Bobby's squeezing her hand tightly while emt wheels her to an ambulance.

Buck feels everything all at once. Relief, panic, fear, dread, he feels stuck and heavy. He feels like he wants to scream but he can't because then he would just be-

"Hey."

Buck jumps at the hand on his biceb.

"You okay?"

Buck tries to say something.

Anything but he feels like if he opens his mouth he might vomit.

"Evan? You're scaring me here, are you okay?"

Buck feels jittery and can barely lift his hand, let a lone understand what's being asked if him.

He feels his body being pulled, the weight of someone's hand in his only helps him minutely about where he is and what's going on around him.

He feels something hard press against his back and fingers under his chin and what feels like a hand against his chest.

"Let's breath, okay? Deep breath in and hold for three and out."

It takes a minute for his brain and body to process and follow through with the direction, but once he does he feels the hand on his chest start to slowly rub in circles and he leads his face into the hand that still on his cheek.

"Thanks." He huffs out, still panting a bit as his panic attack subsides and he feels his breathing become even again. There's still a weird tingly feeling down his hands, arms, and legs but he tries to literally shake the weird feeling out of his hands, flexing them just so he can get rid of that feeling.

"You had a panic attack, Evan." Buck sees the fear and concern clear as day in Tommy's eyes and facial expression. A bit of his heart hurts at the idea that he made Tommy worry.

Buck licks his lips, hating how dry his lips feel. He let's himself sag against what he now realizes is a firetruck.

"Yeah. I-I guess I panicked." He swallow uncomfortably, almost waiting for the disgust to show in Tommy's reaction.

Tommy nodded understandably, rubbing his thumb against Buck's cheekbone. "I bet. I almost did too. Who knew I would be co-piloting a plane to land with a cop and 10 yr old kid." He joked, Buck could tell he was watching him intently. "It's okay if you were scared. I was terrified too. Athena and everyone are safe."

Buck nodded, he hated that he could feel the panic creep in again and felt his eyes burn. "That's not exactly why I started to panic. Why I'm panicking now." He admitted, his voice raw and on the verge of tears.

He saw how Tommy's stance and expression changed, Tommy took a step closer and his brows furrowed as he took both hands to cradle Buck's face.

"What happened?"

Buck felt like he was gulping down sand. "I-I might have killed Gerrard." He admitted lowly.

"What?"

"I- not on purpose. I-I don't think? He just kept going and laying it on me and berating me and the others during roll call and I-I saw something fly towards us- him. It was a blade from a blade saw that the work crew was using and it broke and flew into the station so I-I sort of tackled Gerrard to the ground but I didn't think to protect his head or anything so he fell back hard because of me and he started to bleed out and I-I might have killed him and no one cares! I know he was a jerk, but I still might have killed the man and I don't know if I meant to save him or really hurt him or-"

"Evan." Tommy gave him a little worried shake by the shoulders, Buck hadn't noticed Tommy had called his name three times. He moved his hand to Buck's chest again, over his heart. "Breath, okay?" He reminded his boyfriend.

"You didn't kill him. From what you just told me, you saved him. You thought quickly on your feet too and if you were really hoping to hurt or kill him then I don't think you would be beating yourself up like this." Tommy pointed out.

Buck didn't look like he believed him. His entire face was red and he still looked like he would breakdown.

"I-I still might have killed him, Tommy. And no one cared, they all started to dance and I- what if he doesn't make it? I mean the guy was horrible, sure, but he still was a person. I'm sure he has a family who's gonna be -"

"Annoyed that he's hurt but probably relieved that a blade saw didn't go through him." Tommy noted, "We don't know what's going to happen next, he might live because of you."

"I don't know if that's better or worse." Buck admitted. Buck wanted to lay his head agaisnt Tommys shoulder and Tommy just wanted to hug his boyfriend. They were still on the clock and in the field.

"You're coming home with me after our shifts, okay."

"Tommy, you don’t need-"

Tommy waved him off, pointing directly at Buck's face now. "I want to, Evan. Let me take care of you, alright?"

Buck rolled his eyes, "This isn't about me though, I wasn't trying to make it about me!"

Tommy peered around them, making sure they were still out of sight. He pressed Buck back into the truck again. "I'm making it about you because you just went through something scary, Evan. I just watched my boyfriend have a panic attack so yeah, I'm going to make sure this is about you and after our shift, you're coming home with me and we're gonna take a nap and then have a long talk about what you want to next about Gerrard. Okay?"

Buck didn't know what to say.

"Please baby?"

Buck nodded, "Yeah, okay. You'll pick me up from the station?"

Tommy nodded, his smile getting Buck to feel butterflies as always. "I'll drive through downtime traffic twice over for you."

They both snickered at that before leaving to join their respective crew.

On the way back Buck messaged Tommy 'Thank you'.

He felt lighter as he saw Tommy's response '❤'

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

So, had an idea for a fic. Ranted about it. Never gonna write it. Had a breakdown. Made a moodboard. Here ya go. 👍🏻

Mob Son Steve!

Who's father wishes he was better at it. His heart is too big.

And retired Mob Man wayne, raising Eddie. The mob family he belonged too was wiped out, Eddie's dad was leader, but he got everyone killed pretty much, so Wayne took Eddie and never looked back. Moved to a new city and opened a mechanic garage. Eddie fixes cars like he was born to. He takes after Wayne so maybe he was. And of course, Steve is sentimental about his car, his mom left it to him in her will. But it's old. Breaks down a lot. So he takes it to Munson's Garage. And meets Eddie.

Mob Boy Steve is still a bit of an asshole. But it fades fast, especially once he really starts talking to Eddie. And then mentions him to Robin one day and she's like,

"who's this now what's ahppening???"

Because Steve's face is a goddamn open book and he looks... mushy!

His assholishness is his shield. Because if he isn't an asshole, and hardened, the other guys would tear him apart. But can you imagine, his combed back hair and nice suits.

And Eddie is ALWAYS a mess. And Steve literally just wants Eddie to fucking grab him and ruin all his nice clothes and just make HIM a mess too. And like, it's only partly sexual, this grabbing, he just wants to be able to touch Eddie. And to be able to be dirty and not perfect and put together all the time.

Maybe Nancy works the front desk for the Munsons on weekends and Robin comes in with Steve once cuz she's with him when the car breaks down and her and Nancy meet and Wayne comes back from lunch to see Nancy and Robin all smiley at each other, and Eddie is fucking smiling at the ground and tucking some hair behind his ear as Steve laughs at something he'd said and Wayne's just like,

".... am I running some kind of fucking mob dating garage?" To himself of course, but what the fuck???? Why are there multiple Mob Babies in his shop??? Flirting with his NON mob babies!!!

~°~

Lets say he's definitely still a big ol flirt in this. But Robin always knows when he's flirting for info, and to be formal, and to like.. please his father and "the family" and when he's flirting for real. Cuz he's quiet and sweet when he's being real. And he gets just as flustered as who he's flirting with. And Robin has never seen him more flustered than when he's talking to Eddie.

And Eddie, bless his little anti social, awkward self, genuinely, for the most part, has no idea Steve is flirting with him. He just think he's interested in how Eddie is fixing his car. Thinks maybe he's trying to learn a little bit at least, so he can try and keep her together on his own.

And THAT makes Eddie a little flustered, because most people just want their shit done so they can leave. But Eddie thinks he wants to learn so he tells him stuff. About his car, and then also about cars in general. He's a fountain of car facts and Steve, bless his heart, drinks them up like he's fucking desperate to drown.

And he actually does retain a lot of the info, does actually get a bit interested in the work after he fixes a breakdown on his own once, the radiator needed water and Eddie showed him how to so that on his own in case it happened again cuz Eddie didn't have the part to fix it right then. Had to order it. But Steve remembered, and got it fixed and made it home on his own. And the grease on his hands made him feel like he actually did something of value.

So he listens more closely when Eddie talks after that, always leaning into his space cuz he does have trouble hearing. He loses a lot of fights. But you have to fight where he's from or you just get killed. So he leans close, both he and Eddie getting flustered by the closeness, but he likes it there, next to Eddie.

Because Eddie explains things, looks at Steve, and if he seems confused still, he'll explain it a different way. He'd done that 4 times one day for Steve. He'd been tired, and unfocused, and just a little lost. And Eddie just kept talking until it clicked, and Steve's eyes lit up, and he waved his hands all excited and was like,

"oh oh ok! It's like when-  yeah yeah yeah!!"

And Eddie gave him this huge beautiful smile as he nodded and moved on. And Steve was... not used to that. He wasn't used to anyone smiling after he got all excited like that either, but he tried not to think about THAT too much. He was already much too red in the face from Eddie's smile to be thinking about that.

Anyway. Like we said, Wayne would definitely try to keep them apart at first. Intercepting when Steve came by. Grabbing the keys from Eddie and meeting Steve out front when his car was done.

But one day, Steve shows up covered in blood. His own blood, his face all bruised and battered like someone had used him as a punching bag. He shouldn't have been driving, probably, but he'd made it. Wayne and Eddie had watched his car roll slowly into the lot, watched it stop. Wayne's arm out in front of Eddie stopping him as he tired to move toward the door, a small smile on his lips.

And then Steve opened the door, pulled himself out of the car, and almost fell into the dirt. Eddie was around Wayne in a second, breathing out a worried,

"Steve." as he shoved through the door.

He catches Steve easily, and Steve just leans into his chest, lets Eddie hold him there. Eddie almost crying trying to ask him what happened. Steve just mumbles,

"You should see the other guy." and gives a bloody smile before he sways on his feet, his eyes rolling back.

Eddie has him half way to the door when Wayne slides under Steve's other arm, helping Eddie get him inside, into the back building, which is technically their house. Eddie guides them to the bed in the living room, they set him down gently. Wayne watches Eddie push Steve's blood stained hair off his face, tears slowly dripping down his cheeks as he looks at Steve, and heads for the door. Eddie's on his feet next to him in a second.

"Don't hurt the car. It was his mom's. She's... she's gone." Eddie whispers it.

But those words tell Wayne the parts of the story he was missing. When you're in the business Steve's in, a dead mother isn't something you talk about with just anyone. It's also in that moment he realizes he's maybe not as good at keeping tabs on Eddie as he thought he was. He just gives Eddie's shoulder a squeeze and says,

"I won't hurt it. But we can't leave it out front. If anyone's after him they'll know he's here soon as they see it. I'll take it to the back lot. Move some stuff in front it. Cover it up". Eddie nods enthusiastically and Wayne nods back, once, before he gets to work.

He comes back to find Steve sitting up, his back agaisnt the wall, his jacket and waistcoat in a pile on the floor. Eddie's between his knees wiping at the blood on his face. Grimacing in unison with Steve everytime he hits a sore spot. He's got a bowl next to him on the floor, full of water. The water is red now. Wayne leans down, takes the bowl, and then gently takes the rag from Eddie's shaking hands.

"Lemme change this. Get a new rag. You sit with him. Make sure he doesn't fall alseep." Eddie's on the cot next to Steve immediately. His hand in his hair again, Steve turns slowly to look at Eddie, his lips a small smile though the two splits in them have to be stinging.

"Are you okay?" Eddie manages to not sound too choked up, his fingers reaching for Steve's face and then pulling back multiple times. Steve huffs a laugh and grabs Eddie's hand, drops them both to his thigh as he nods once.

"I will be. Sorry for makin a mess in your place." His voice is strained, from one of his many injuries, Wayne sets a new bowl of water in Eddie's lap as he says it, and Eddie's not sure which of them he's talking to, maybe both. Wayne dismisses him with a wave, tells Eddie he's gonna go back out front and watch the shop. Steve manages to mumble something about Robin before he sags into Eddie's side again. Wayne nods, says,

"I'll keep an eye out for her."

She shows up with Nancy when she arrives for her shift, both of them looking nervous. Her and Nancy both force themselves to stay calm as they walk to the back, both of them running as soon as their out of sight of the front window.

They find Eddie still sitting on the cot, Steve's head is in his lap now. He's awake, but just staring across the room. Eddie's fingers are in his hair. Robin hugs Eddie the best she can, thanking him for taking care of Steve. Eddie can tell she wants to hug Steve too, but doesn't know where to touch him. She settles down by his legs, Nancy squeezing in next to her. And they all just stay with him.

He stays there for a while.

Once Wayne finds out what happened, Steve tells them when he's back up on his feet. His father basically gave up on him ever being part of the family, "the right way". And had sent his little lapdog Billy to "deal with him"

Robin had shown up just in time. Done something dumb to distracte everyone, like set a fire. And her and Steve had both bolted. Going in different directions to lessen the chance of being caught. Robin had run to Nancy. Steve to Eddie.

They're a little predictable, Wayne thinks, but then again, he's not sure either of them have anyone else besides each other. And no one shows up to get Steve. So he thinks they're probably okay. For awhile. But he does know one thing.

If anyone lays their hands on that boy again, they'll have to deal with Wayne. And Wayne's got a past so drenched in blood it turns his stomach to think about. And he'd put it behind him. Raised up a good boy, for his sister. But he's got another boy now, and two girls as well, and he'd be damned if anyone was gonna hurt them. He watches Eddie and Steve making lunch, just pb&j's for everyone, but they're laughing, and bumping into each other and Wayne watches his boys and thinks, just fucking let them 'em try.

[lovepookie]

₊˚ෆ The Perfect Love Scheme - p.sh

♡ sypnosis: a jack of all trades by self proclamation and loser-nerd in actuality; park sunghoon would stay at home for the rest of his life if it wasn’t for his party-hungry friends. his quiet and anxious demeanor when you first met him in the club is exactly what makes you greatful he didn’t though. tonight was the night you were going to convince your friends that you were going home with someone. maybe then they’d finally leave you alone about love. a little love scheme never hurt nobody, right?

♡ genre: fluff, kinda suggestive, pinch of angst, strangers to lovers, non-idol au, fem!reader

♡ 6.5k word count

♡ warnings: cursing, anxiety mentioned, suggestive, drinking mentioned, sarcastic jokes?, please let me know if there’s any i missed!

♡ nano note: i really hope yall like this as much as i do! sunghoon has been terrorizing me lately so i needed to write something. feedback is greatly appreciated! xoxo

.♡.

Sunghoon doesn’t know who the fuck said you couldn’t find love in the club.

He wants a name, a number, a fucking address. Maybe then he could track them down and show them—not tell them—how wrong they are; he’s quite literally staring at the very definition.

The moment he spotted you on the dance floor, you quite literally rendered him speechless and when your eyes met his for the first time, he felt a hot feeling surge through his chest. Sunghoon has had his fair share of relationships and failed talking stages, yet he doesn’t think he’s ever felt like this before.

You were gorgeous.

There was something about the way you danced about carelessly in the dark; not one worry in the world. You looked so free; like you belonged to you and only you. You didn’t seem to care if people watched you, you didn’t care if people were actively judging you. You were just being your authentically free self whilst the music ran through and moved you like you had not one thing to lose.

Wow.

Sunghoon wishes he could be like that.

His crippling anxiety had gotten worse as of recent and he felt trapped into an abyss he couldn’t run from, just worries and more worries piling onto one another. This, in turn, had him all pent up in his room for a couple of months. He for sure thinks that within the last year his social skills have gotten worse too, so there was really no reason to go out into public and socialize if he didn’t have to, right?

He wouldn’t want to embarrass himself.

Yet here he was.

Maybe letting Heeseung and Jake drag him to the hell hole that was this busy night club located in the middle of Itaewon’s party district wasn’t such a bad idea. They had been on his ass for a long time now about going out to party on the weekends, and they’d finally gotten him out of the house tonight. Yes, this took a lot of effort on their part, and yes, Sunghoon almost had a mental breakdown whilst waiting in the line outside to get into the club, but his friends weren’t going to let him go home until he was wasted it seems.

He was being forced to have fun.

Heeseung had practically grappled him by the scruff of his neck onto the dance floor, drinks in both of their hands threatening to spill as he uttered; “Sunghoon, let go of your fucking pride and worries for once. Literally nobody is going to remember tomorrow—including you.”

But boy, was he wrong.

Because, how could he ever forget you?

You in your cute little dress.

You and your pretty face; eyes so entrancing and wonderous. At the same time the energy exuding from your demeanor was that you were quite guarded and closed off.

You read ‘tread carefully’ when anyone on the dance floor got remotely close to you, and you stayed relatively close to your group of friends—yet to him, this was more the reason to be so enthralled with your presence. This sentiment couldn’t be truer the moment you caught his eyes staring at you too.

The previous look of being preoccupied with yourself had changed painstakingly slow, and a pretty smirk curls onto your lips when you had realized you’d gained an audience.

His audience.

He wanted to die and ascend to heaven right then and there—he swore he’d be perfectly okay with that too.

Sunghoon paces himself as his thoughts run rampant at the sight of you moving closer.

Pretty girl is coming over here, pretty girl is coming over here—she’s coming over here fuck!

And as he awkwardly sways about on the dance floor, a very strained and creaky look taking over his figure-skater frame as he fixes the chunky framed glasses on his face, he swore that the strangers dancing about must have been paid extras or something—they quite literally started to clear the way for you.

Like you were Moses.

Like you were some extraterrestrial and heavenly being.

Like you were parting the red fucking sea.

“Are you okay? That babe is like…staring you down and making her way over here.” Jake whispers as quietly as he can to Sunghoon over the blaring music.

This does no favors for Sunghoon’s erratic nerves, and he inwardly has to talk himself down from raising his hands back up to his mouth in order to bite his fingernails habitually.

“Yeah, I caught a glimpse of her a couple weeks ago when I was here,” Heeseung butts in, “From what I’ve gathered, she doesn’t really talk to anyone but her friend circle.”

Then why the fuck was she coming over here?

Sunghoon doesn’t know why he’s making a big deal out of this either—ultimately, you could go anywhere you wanted.

“Nah, she’s kind of approaching us right now-“ Jake is able to get out before Sunghoon is jabbing him in the stomach with his elbow.

Within a few seconds you were standing in front of them three; a pretty sexy smile on display that Heeseung doesn’t think he’s ever seen you wear before.

Sunghoon is going to shit himself.

“Hi, Uhh- My friend over there was wondering if you were single. She wanted to talk to you actually.” You say, shifting to stare Jake dead in the eyes.

This wasn’t like you.

I mean yes, you were definitely lying right now and no friend of yours had even seen these three on this side of the club, but you couldn’t really contain yourself when you caught the raven-haired one staring you down. Yes, you had always preached the importance of falling in love with yourself and learning to be comfortable with being alone to your sex-thirsty friends—but you had to admit this one was a looker and warranted your curiosity. So, you broke your own rules and approached undeniably the best looking trio of men you think you’ve ever seen before—and there was no time for your insecurities to say you couldn’t.

“Who? Me?” Jake says, completely confused by your sudden gaze detaching from Sunghoon and being expectantly placed on him.

“Yeah, she’s the blonde back there.” You state, looking over your shoulder and pointing to your very lesbian friend.

She could play the part whilst you figure out a way to distract the doe-eyed looking guy. Your friends did this all the time with you, so it was their turn now. You’re sure they’d be more than happy to know you’ve taken interest in someone too.

“Oh, well if you’ll excuse me.” Jake says, bottom lip going between his teeth after he smiles at you, then he’s quickly sauntering off towards your friend.

You pass him a smile back and pray to every god in existence that your friends read the room before you’re turning back to the other two men.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think we got your name…” Heeseung starts, sending you a very amused smile as he places a friendly firm arm around Sunghoon to tap him into being engaged with the conversation now that you were standing right the fuck in front of him.

“Oh! My bad, I’m Y/n.” You say, outstretching your hand for a quite formal introduction for the club.

You don’t let the burns of embarrassment that sprall out across your cheeks faze you though—the beauty-marked boy seems to like you still by the looks of his matching pink ones.

The doe-eyed one shakes your hand firmly first, then pretty boy does, albeit a bit shaky. “I’m Heeseung, this is Sunghoon.” Bambi states, obviously doing you both a favor and trying to get the nervous looking Sunghoon to start talking.

Sunghoon just smiles like the biggest fucking idiot on the planet as he holds his breath for your next words.

Cute.

You liked that.

“It’s really nice to meet you guys, uhm, Sunghoon? Would you like to dance?” You ask, placing all your cards on the table right away because tonight you were feeling quite interested in this one. Sunghoon burns from the inside out as he takes a few moments to process your words.

Pretty girl’s standing here? Pretty girl’s asking me to dance?? Fuck fuck fuck!

“Uh- Well, i don’t really like dancing-“

“He loves to fucking dance! Of course he would!” Heeseung cuts him off, both of his hands going to Sunghoon’s upper back to push him towards you maliciously—I mean, benevolently!

Sunghoon’s eyes go wide as they stare at your very pleased and amused expression, and he doesn’t know whether or not to stab or thank Heeseung the next time he see’s him.

Only time can tell.

“Cool, let’s go.” You state quite simply, reaching out and grabbing onto Sunghoon’s hand and softly pulling him along with you.

Red hot blush shoots down the back of his neck as he caves in and decides to follow.

You hastily turn around once you get to a good space on the dance floor for you two, and immediately pull him closer to place his hands on your hips. He feels he can’t take his eyes away from you, completely entranced now as you smile and lean in to whisper; “…You can touch me, loosen up pretty boy.”

When you pull away with that sly but inviting smile still plastered on your face, Sunghoon suddenly decides that the dozens of eyes and possible dozens more camera phones in the room don’t fucking matter anymore. His hands lightly lift off your hips as he then decides to pinch the sequins of your dress in order to pull you closer by the fabric in the most politest, non-loser, totally un-nervous way possible.

You just smile up at him as you let a laugh out, because now your proximity has you realizing just how tall his pretty and nervous self is.

He sends you a bashful smile as you start to sway to the beat, then your arms find their way around his neck. There’s a few moments of him just swaying until he gets more comfortable touching you again, but the way your eyes dared not to deter from his made him feel like he could get on the floor and do the fucking worm and you’d still choose him to dance with you.

Were you a vixen?

A temptress of some sort?

Was he going to be lured to your bed chambers where you cooked him in potions and used him for spells?

He thinks he just might consent to this with the way you trail your hands down to grip and hold onto the collar of his shirt to pull him down to your height this time.

“How have I never seen you here before?” You ask over the music, quite endeared by his everything. Then he smiles; his striking brows, beauty marks, and newly unveiled and very pointy canines all come together so seamlessly to form this big butterfly in your stomach.

You became curious about just how many girls and guys—and hearts in general—have been lost and entranced by that face.

“Uh-This is the first time in a long time being here actually. I don’t go out much.” He lets out nervously, his eyes shifting to your lips for a split second before his eyes are on yours again.

This was the exact moment where you decided to get a glimpse of his own lips—and damn, you were suddenly filled with many ideas of how to make sure they’d be placed on your own later tonight.

“Oh, is that so?” You say through a smirk, tilting your head to the side as you dance. This is where Sunghoon starts to feel all giddy inside.

You were really cute, too.

“Yes…” He confirms, tilting his head to be parallel with yours, and for once he feels a spark of confidence. Before you can even blush at this cute gesture, he’s winking at you quite smoothly.

This sends your butterfly morphing into thousands, and when your heart rate speeds up at the prolonged eye contact that you two hold, you realize you can’t take it any more. You distance yourself from his lean figure whilst your right hand finds his own before you’re turning around and interlacing his hand with yours as his arm drapes around your shoulder; your back now pressed to his chest.

Sunghoon feels he is going to pass out right here, right now, because wow, you smell amazing as his hand instinctively finds your waist; the both of you two-stepping to the beat. You both continue on like this, Sunghoon making eye contact with Heeseung from across the way and being met with a thumbs up and a wiggle of the eye-brows.

This ultimately makes Sunghoon blush harder as he goes to push his glasses up further on his nose bridge to busy himself. When he hears you giggle in front of him over the music, he internally screams because fuck she definitely saw that.

You take this moment to turn again and disconnect your two’s hands so that you could talk to him face to face now that the start of the parasite called emotions has calmed down.

“Your friend looks quite happy that you’re dancing with me…” You tease as you continue to two-step and fix the strap of your dress.

“Oh, d-don’t mind him! I’m not going to ask you to come home with me or anything—I’m sorry if he’s being creepy-“

“What if I want to go home with you?” You cut him off.

Fuck it.

What did you have to lose?

You watch as Sunghoon’s whole face goes red, his eye’s widening as he tilts his head down questioningly at you.

“What?”

You can’t help but chuckle a bit at his shock.

“Sunghoon, can I let you in on something?” You say, deciding to just come clean.

At the same time, you’re peering over his shoulder and meeting eyes with your group of friends who smiled your way to let you know they were watching you. It’s there where a light-bulb turns on and the gears in your head finally start churning.

Is this not the perfect idea?

Plus, he was really cute and shy—what could go wrong? He didn’t seem like a weirdo or a murderer—

“Sure, you can tell me…” He says, eyeing you suspiciously as he still tries to grapple with the words you uttered a second ago.

“Do you see my friends behind you?” You ask, and Sunghoon’s quick to turn his head and see their eyes on him.

“Uh yeah, they’re kind of staring over here-“

“Yeah, they’ve been trying to get me to go home with someone for weeks—I’ve just been blowing them off and having fun by myself…” You say, and you decide to lean forward to get a bit closer to him. “Do you catch what I’m throwing?” You ask, hoping he could help you out with your new scheme to get your friends off your back.

Sunghoon nods as he starts to wrap his head around the situation. “Oh- so you don’t want to go home go home with me, you want to fool your friends….” He states slowly, staring off into thought.

You laugh, pulling him back down to earth, then take your turn pulling him closer by the cloth of his shirt. He smiles awkwardly at this but inwardly he’s cussing himself out for being such a fucking loser who wasn’t meant to say any of that out loud.

“I mean-“

“I know what you meant. You’re right.” You say through a smile, grabbing his hands and placing them both back on your hips that you sway slowly—and just like that he’s back to being speechless.

“I’d really like it if you played the part for me. Think of it as doing me a favor.” You reason, your hands now wrapping around his neck again.

He stares at you through his lenses as he weighs his options.

From the start of the night he didn’t want to be here either—if he’s honest, you were now the only reason to stay besides to please his friends. Plus, if he looked like he was taking you home now, maybe they’d leave him alone and stop worrying about him.

It was a win-win situation.

Fuck it.

“Okay, I’ll take you home.” He states firmly, eyes looking into each of your eyes just as the song switches to something more sensual and down-tempo. You smile in response and try to deny the fact that his words and eyes make the butterflies flutter again.

“Perfect.”

And then he smiles back—cheeks just as blushy as yours.

“Perfect.”

There’s a moment of silence between you as you’re both quick to adapt to the music change. You scan his features again, and he watches you do so, heart pounding hard in his chest. When your fingers go to play with the hair at the nape of his neck as he eyes your lips, it feels like instinct for you two to lean in.

It all plays out so slow.

It feels like millions of years go by as he leans down and a million more when you tip-toe to meet him in the middle. In that hazy-eyed daze, right before your lips touch, you mutter words that almost break Sunghoon’s heart clean in half.

“…This will really sell it, won’t it? I hope they’re watching.”

And still, despite the fact that it’s all for show, his heart feels like it’s stitched back together again the moment he hums as an answer and you smash your lips onto his. It’s borderline intimacy; the way your tongue infiltrates his mouth and the feeling of your plush lips on his. When he tilts his head for a better angle and you hum in response, he’s sure you’re about to win an Emmy, an Oscar, a fucking Tony.

The way the both of you manage to sway slowly to the music at the same time might earn you a Grammy as well; you were a great fucking performer—no, a great fucking kisser.

Sunghoon was going to thank Heeseung.

He was going to kiss the ground he walks on the next time he see’s him outside of the club.

Shit, he’ll name his first born after him.

You were perfect.

—

Shortly after your two’s make-out session that lasted longer than it probably should’ve, you were quick to interlace his fingers with yours and pull him over to your friends where you left your purse. After gathering your belongings and saying goodbye to your friends after a couple awkward moments of them interrogating a swollen-lipped Sunghoon, you quite literally drag him out of the club.

“Where’s your car?” You ask the still blushy and dazed beauty, and you can’t help but smile as you admire the way the moonlight hits his pale skin.

“M-my car? Oh, it’s over here.” He stutters out before taking the lead, guiding you to his car by the hand. After unlocking it, he then opens the passenger door for you and holds out a hand to aid you with getting in. After you take his hand and sit down, Sunghoon smiles your way before closing the door softly. You take this moment to let go of the breath you were holding, the butterflies going crazy again and mind squealing because you don’t think anyone’s ever done that for you before.

It only takes a few seconds for Sunghoon to run around and get in, then he’s starting the car and buckling himself in pretty quick which makes you laugh. “What’s the rush? Can’t wait to get me home?” You chuckle as he pulls out of the club parking space whilst checking his review mirrors.

He laughs too despite his nerves, and you catch sight of his canines again.

Would it hurt if he bit me-

“No, I just thought it’d be good for the theatrics. What if your friends came out of the club?” He smiles, driving out of the parking lot.

This makes you snort.

“Right, of course! Damn, you really thought this through didn’t you? You should become a scriptwriter.” You say playfully.

Sunghoon’s eyes shift back and forth between you and the road a couple times, his smile never faltering.

“That’s actually kind of funny because, I kind of write as a side job.” He confirms.

This makes your eyes widen pleasantly.

“A writing side job? Okay director, actor, writer, dancer—What else do you do? What’s your main thing?” You decide to ask, but not without throwing in a joke.

“Dancer? Are you making fun of me?” He laughs out, coming up on a red-light.

You chuckle and face him, “No?! Your moves are what entranced me before I even danced with you!”

He squints his eyes at you and the car comes to a halt, so he decides to roll his long sleeves up his arms.

“I’ll have you know, I’m a figure-skater on the side too, so i actually can decently dance. But before I tell you what I really do, where exactly am I taking you?” He asks, a new-found comfort finding home in his demeanor. You stare at him for a bit, forcing yourself to keep your eyes up at his face and not on his now exposed veiny arms.

“Uhh, I’m not going to lie—I kind of want shaved-ice. Can we get some?” You ask randomly, voice getting tinier in embarrassment as the words leave your lips.

What?

Maybe you were hungry.

Maybe you wanted more time with pretty boy.

Maybe it was a bit of both.

“I’m always up for some ice cream,” He laughs out, “…but is anything even open right now?”

Your face grows a little hot at the realization that oh fuck it’s two in the morning and he’s right. “Oh, I didn’t even realize…” You mumble.

“We can go to the gas station for a slushy or something still?” Sunghoon proposes, pressing lightly on the gas as the light turns green and immediately shifting lanes to drive to the next 24-hour gas station.

“Please? Sorry if i’m asking for too much.” You say quietly as you sink into your seat; every fiber of confidence in your body suddenly vanishing.

“You don’t need to apologize, I know a nice park close to this gas station where we can drink the slushies.” He says without much thought. This makes you smile wholeheartedly again.

“A park? Is that where you murder me in cold blood? Or are you going to push me on the swing?” You joke, heart feeling very full because; he wants to stick around.

He wants to talk longer.

Now it’s Sunghoon’s turn to sink into his seat as he once again regrets spewing the first words that come to mind. He was usually so careful and quiet before he responds to others, too.

What were you doing to him?

“No! The park kind of just came to mind. Sorry, we don’t have to-“

“No! I want to go. You don’t need to apologize.” You state, repeating his earlier comforting words.

He goes silent, a smile making its way back onto his face as he pulls into the gas station and parks. He takes another moment to smile at you again as he unbuckles himself. You reciprocate it shyly before you’re both getting out of the car and making your way into the store.

“I can fill mine faster than you can.” You say as you two come up on the slushy aisle. Sunghoon can’t help but let a chuckle out at your playfulness.

“I’m not going to race you, I want multiple flavors.” He says through a smile as he grabs two cups and hands you one. You just roll your eyes at him and sigh at his lack of childishness. “True…”

Sunghoon frowns for a second—was he ruining the mood?

“Fine, I’ll race you,” He starts, “…but we have to do half one flavor, half another.”

You smile his way; this double flavor slushy action being right up your alley. “Don’t cry when you lose.”

And so you race.

Everything was going fine.

You were in the lead as the banana flavored drink flowed faster than his pink strawberry dispenser could even keep up with—this sparks a laugh from your lips when Sunghoon groans out of frustration and furrows his brows.

“Ha!”

“Well, you have to do this flavor next for it to be fair!”

“Shut up, I’m trying to focus!”

You both quickly focus in on your drinks that fill to the halfway mark before quickly maneuvering around eachother in a fit of laughter in order to dispense the next flavor.

“I’m going to win-“

“What’s that sound?”

Before you both can comprehend where that sudden high-pitched ringing was coming from, Sunghoon’s slushy machine is filling up his cup at the speed of light as banana slushy squirts quick into the bottom, forcing his lid completely off. The cold sticky drink is shooting quick into the air from off the bottom of his cup and soaks every thing in its wake—including the pretty beauty-marked man.

“What the fuck!” You scream as it happens, backing away and getting splattered on only a bit. Sunghoon is silent the whole time, his eyes tightly scrunched closed.

There’s a few moments of shocking silence before staff is rushing over and apologizing, spewing incoherent statements like; “Fuck, Jungwon! Niki forgot to put the sign up before he left his shift!” and “Jay, please tell me you’re lying.”

You can’t help but place a hand over your mouth to keep yourself from laughing when Sunghoon’s eyes open and glare at you through dirty lenses. You quickly rush to get some napkins along with a sunny-eyed staff member.

“Are you okay? I guess you won…”

“Y/n.” He utters your name for the first time, and even though it’s in a threatening manner, the flutters of various colorful wings inside you are sent into a frenzy again.

“What? I’m sorry, okay, i’ll shut up.” You laugh out, helping him wipe cold banana liquid off of his nice shirt. “We’re so sorry sir! Feel free to use any other flavor whilst we get this mess cleaned up. Your drinks are on us.” Say’s the apparent manager who’s name tag was labeled Kim Sunoo.

“Thank you!” You respond for the now cold and shivering Sunghoon.

“This shit is so cold, i don’t think i want it anymore.” Sunghoon borderline wines as he cleans his glasses. This makes you laugh again as your finger goes to wipe slushy off his jaw. Without thinking, you suck the liquid off your finger.

“Hey, this just means you’re twice as sweet.” You say, giving him a thumbs up and winking just like Heeseung as you watch him change colors.

Park Sunghoon get a grip, you were not supposed to be attracted to that.

“Okay! We can go now, banana boy.” You state after filling two drinks up very carefully.

Sunghoon just continues to shake and glare at you as he walks side-by-side with you to the car. When you both get inside, he’s quick to turn the heater on dispite it being the middle of June.

“Y/n, I don’t think i can get out of the car, I’m so cold right now.” He sighs out as he parks the car. You had both now arrived down the street at the park he was talking about before, and despite it being so pretty with the green grassy field and cute little playground; Sunghoon’s discomfort was more important to you.

You watch as he seems to sip happily on his now free blueberry slushy and you can’t help but laugh at this whilst Sunghoon bashfully smiles because he’s the cause of it.

Man, he wanted it on a record. He’d jump in a pool of any flavor slush you wanted him to if it meant he’d hear you laugh like this again.

“Fine. We can stay.” You say, leaning back into his passenger seat as you side eye him whilst still giggling.

He closes his eyes in a tired thanks as he too sinks into his seat.

“Okay, now you can tell me who you are. Spill your guts banana boy.”

Sunghoon opens his eyes to glare again. “I will drop you off at the gas station and leave you there if you keep that up.” He jokes, resting his head on the head rest and turning his face to look at you through his lashes and lenses.

You blush as you smirk playfully. “Okay okay, I’ll bring it down a notch i guess. Now tell me.”

Sunghoon sighs.

Is this the part where he tells you how much of a loser he really is?

“Well…I’m actually a…uh-“ He stutters out.

“Just tell me. I won’t judge.” You say, a genuine welcoming smile gracing your face as you tilt your head to be basically face to face with his. He smiles, and you watch as his eyes trail over your features.

“I’m an app developer.”

Your brows furrow at this.

“What? That’s not something to be embarrassed about. What type of apps do you make?”

Sunghoon sighs and faces forward.

“I make dating apps.”

Oh.

“But not even the ones that work, it’s the ones that you have to buy into in order to get decent matches.” He mutters, and it’s almost like he feels dead talking about what he does for a living. His eyes are blank. Mind is back to racing and worrying.

Oh.

You frown.

“Ah, so this isn’t your first love scheme then…I’m not your first love scheme.” You say, smiling and staring over at him, tone very supportive and lighthearted.

He looks back over to you and smiles lightly.

“Nope.”

Sunghoon wants to die.

“Well…look on the bright side, somewhere out there is a love scheme that you had a hand in that actually backfired on your silly little app. Like, imagine two people from one of your apps came together when they weren’t supposed to. Yet, somehow…they work just right.” You ramble on, hopeless romantic thoughts that were usually burried deep within spraying out like they were banana slushy.

When you come back to reality, you’re met with Sunghoon’s piercing eyes on you.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

There’s goes the eye contact again.

“I never really thought about it like that.” He says, and his hand mindlessly lifts in order to play with the ends of your hair.

You smile, the butterflies now evolving to produce a hot sensation that spreads through your body.

“Yeah, it’s like a perfect love scheme. It’s not supposed to work—yet, it does.” You say, reaching out for his glasses and taking them off his face altogether. You go ahead and place them on your own face, smiling at him the whole time with this idiotic grin.

Sunghoon blushes and reciprocates your smile. He couldn’t see shit now but you were so hot. What the fuck was he going to do??

“Thank you.” He manages to whisper, still staring your way. He doesn’t know specifically for what, but just….thank you.

Thank you for understanding. Thank you for being so inviting. Thank you for even looking his way. Thank you for listening. Thank you for seeing the best in every terrible situation he’s had today. Thank you for existing.

Just, thank you.

You can only muster a nod as the quiet engulfs the warm air between you two. When you finally avert your eyes to take a sip of your slushy, a slurping noise is what finally breaks the silence and garners an embarrassed laugh from the both of you in response.

“Okay Miss love scheme. Why are you avoiding love?” He finally manages to ask, this burning curiosity filling his thoughts the more he spent time with you.

You frown at him.

“Well damn, that’s a packed question.” You chuckle out, kind of taken aback.

“Is it? You seem quite openly avoidant of love, so I thought this was an easy conversation.” He reasons. “We’re a love scheme to trick your friends into thinking you’re giving love a chance.”

You frown harder.

Oh, yeah.

Right.

“Well…To be honest, I’m not sure.” You utter as you look out the front window in thought.

“I think love avoids me.”

Sunghoon just snorts.

You snap your head over to him in question before leaning forward and resting your head on the dashboard rest.

“What? I’m being serious.”

“Is this what they call a beige flag? It doesn’t feel red or green really.” He says jokingly, his body leaning forward to rest his head and arms on the wheel to meet you face to face again.

“Sunghoon what does that even mean?”

“I don’t know—I just feel like you’re a walking beige flag. You seem to be emotionally available but act like you’re not for whatever reason-“

“Act like I’m not?”

“Yes, you act. You’re a walking love scheme.”

Your face twists into almost hurt.

“That doesn’t really sound like a compliment.”

“It is one because you’re like the perfect version you were talking about,” He says, “…you’re like a perfect love scheme.”

The silence that follows his words is nerve-racking, and you can attribute it to the mutual understanding that a perfect love scheme in itself is a perfectly imperfect thing. Something that happens when it’s not supposed to, yet works out just right. Something worthy of a chance—one could go as far as to say it was something strung by fate.

Through the long silence between you both, you try to gather your thoughts in order to stop your fast-beating heart. After a few minutes of you both in deep thought, you start to take note of Sunghoon’s sleepy form getting very comfortable against the wheel.

“Y/n-“ Sunghoon starts before being cut off by his own yawn, “…quit limiting your love potential—especially if it’s what you desire deep down.” He says like it’s the most simple thing on Earth, just as his eyes struggle to stay open.

A smile makes its way onto your face. You watch as Sunghoon quite literally falls asleep on the wheel of his car, pretty dark long lashes resting against his pale cheeks, beauty marks adorning him perfectly.

He was perfect.

—

Sunghoon wakes up to the sound of a car honking, almost startling him into a heart attack. He doesn’t know where he is for a good five minutes and it takes him another two to realize that he’s in a car in general. His head hurts, he feels sticky, and his neck is so sore from laying forward on the wheel all night.

Why the fuck am I sleeping behind the wheel?

A little blurry look around and he spots a slushy cup.

Wait…

The memories come racing back to him like a banana slushy to the ceiling, and suddenly he remembers it all; why he’s sticky, why he’s in his car parked in front of a playground, why he’s in his party atire and why he feels so giddy at the sight of a slushy cup.

You.

He scans his passenger and back seat and when they both come up negative, he starts to wonder if it was all just a dream.

Where did you go?

He remembers the dancing, your friends, the gas station, sitting in the car and talking; your laugh.

The love scheme.

Could you have really left without a trace?

Did he say some dumb shit when he was tired that scared you off?

He didn’t even get to take you home.

It’s only when he turns on his car do the windshield wipers go ballistic and a yellow piece of paper swiping back and forth across his front window answers his many questions. It takes three seconds tops for him to turn off his car, get out of it, and run around to the front so he could grab the note. His smile is so cheesy and bright, and he probably looks a mess as he goes to sit on the hood of his car to read it.

It’s like it’s the ultimate answer to everything—the feeling stirring in his stomach reminded him of passing notes to pretty girls in grade school with the papers littered in boxes you could check yes or no off of. He felt the time it took to unfold the paper was like a thousand years too—had Christmas come early?

When he finally managed to read the words written on the note he feels his heart just might combust.

banana boy, if you’re reading this, a friend came to pick me up when i woke up this morning. no matter what i did, you wouldn’t wake up…that seems like a beige flag to me idk. anyways, here’s my number if you’d like to stop scheming with me: 000-000-0000. if you still want to scheme, i’m sorry, i can’t anymore. someone told me to stop limiting my love potential. — y/n

Sunghoon doesn’t know what country he’s saved in his previous life, and as he rethinks every good deed he’s ever done to come up with an explanation for you and the ten digits on this yellow paper, he swears his cheeks start to hurt from smiling so hard.

Laying back on the hood of his car, he places his arm over his face as he can no longer contain the chuckles that leave his mouth.

You were real.

Your pretty smile as you chuckled at his stupid jokes in the darkness of his car. Your smirks and frowns and the glint behind your irises. He remembers the laughs and the not-so-subtle touches, and last but certainly not least, he remembers your soft lips on his at the night club earlier that night.

He met you in the club for christ’s sake.

A love scheme personified was what you both were; completely placed on paths that weren’t supposed to meet at all, let alone enjoy that meeting. It was almost laughable, because he swears he more than just enjoyed that meeting a little bit; why did he feel…changed?

Sunghoon no longer felt the need to ever go home because that’s where you weren’t. He can’t help but think about how no matter how sticky the situation got the day before, the way you laughed and supported him through the day, and merely how you simply saw him, had him feeling you were more than just a potential future-fling.

Sunghoon was going to quit his job.

Sunghoon was going to spend his life trying to find the person who said you couldn’t find love in the club so he could shove a banana down their throat.

Sunghoon was completely and utterly taken by the thought of you; no schemes involved.

He’d like to thank the academy, his pushy fucked up friends, his mother for birthing him—no!

Your mother for birthing you.

“Ah…my neck really fucking hurts,” He mutters through a chuckle and pretty upturned lips as he stares up into the bright blue sky. “…I should call Heeseung and Jake,”

“…or should I call her now?”

“…would that be lame?”

2024 © lovepookie

♡ please do not plagarize, repost, copy or translate any of my works. thank you.

[nsyncat]

OK, so this is my first post EVER since I joined Tumblr like ten years ago. Always been a lurker, enjoying all of the wonderful things here, the gifs, fics, ships, art, all the knowledge and all the amazing heritage posts, but never posting and hardly reblogging, I don't know why, was always afraid I would make a mistake or reblogg incorrectly...

Anyway, the reason this is my first time posting is because THAT amazing moment that happened a week ago, and I've been losing my mind ever since, and unfortunately I have nobody to share this excitement with that will understand... So I had to get it out somehow, and here seems like the perfect place to do so.

I don't know if anybody will read this or pay it any attention, but never mind, I just have TO. GET. IT ALL. OUT!

So I've been a loyal fan of 9-1-1 this past six years, got hooked to these kind of first responders dramas, also Station 19 and then of course Lone Star. I fell in love with the writing, the drama and action, the characters of course, the emotional and moving stories, both of the regular cast and the people in the emergencies (am not afraid to admit that I cried more than a few times, especially when I was pregnant... woooh, that was a tough season for me).

Anyway, like everyone else, got invested in Buck's storyline and of course hopped on the Buddie train in season 2. And obviously there was something between them, and the fandom always clowned themselves that "in the next season SOMETHING is going to happen!" and I always wanted to believe it, and also fooled myself a few times but always was the cold harsh realist and realised it was not going to happen... But enjoyed the ride nonetheless, read amazing fics, saw wonderful fanart, read interesting breakdowns and analysis.

And then 704 happened and I'm not joking or exaggerating, my life changed!

Confirming that Buck is Bi was amazing! I'm ashamed to admit that I really thought it won't happen, EVER! So I still can't believe it actually happened (thank you soooo much ABC!) and like a lot of you, I've been on cloud nine this past week and can't wait for tomorrows episode (also not from the US), literally counting down the hours.

And look, I love Buddie, I really do, but I fell in love with TEVAN (my favourite one yet) 😍 and been OBSESSED with them this past week. Just from those few moments between them and what we barely know that is going to happen the next episode, I truly fell in love with them and really hope they make it as far as they can. I think its an amazing thing for Buck and also CANT. STOP. WATCHING THE KISS! The actors did an incredible job, especially Oliver, also with his spoken support of the storyline and his love for Buck. Such a KING! So this whole thing is huge.

And I have a one-year-old, my life is hectic with taking care of a little human being, a hubby who is also very busy, work, family and a million other things and this past year with a heavy heart I kinda neglected reading fics, and it was my main hobby, my escape, my one and constant thing in my LIFE since I was 12. I do read here and there, but not like I used to, reading hours and hours and into the night, multi chapters and long oneshots, in multiple fandoms, and now whenever I do get to read something once In a blue moon I'm not fully invested or enjoying it because either I'm tired or have something else more important to do. And unfortunately, eventually I noticed that I lost this fire, the passion in me and it left me sad and heartbroken...

And then something incredible happened. Ever since that earth-shattering kiss, the fire and passion came back! Holy shit! I've been reading and ENJOYING fics nonstop this whole week, I can't concentrate on work thinking about everything and reading in-between tasks, I use every single free minute I have to search new fics and scroll through the tags, I go to sleep late because I need to read just one more fic(!!!) even tough I have to wake up very early in the morning and I DON'T EVEN CARE. I'm thinking about it sooo much and imagining new scenarios in my head, and feeling giddy and happy, in a good mood a lot of the time, more optimistic, knowing I have a new and exciting place I can "escape" to, like I had in the past.

Its not that i'm not happy, I have an amazing son and a wonderful husband and I cherish every moment with them, but these are hard and difficult times and life can be hard and stressful and I'm a different kind of happy... So these past few days have been nourishment for my soul and my mood, it sounds so silly but its true! I'm feeling a bit like my old self and it's amazing.

And if someone did read this or did pay attention and got to this point, sorry for the long rant and thank you so much for the patience and understanding 🙏 I love you and wish you a wonderful weekend and happy Buck's-first-date-with-a-man day! 🥰

So I want to thank, from the bottom of my heart, ABC, Oliver, Lou and you crazy lot for resurrecting my old fangirl self 😌 I'm so grateful for all your posts, your takes, your similar enjoyment and of course your amazing fics you're writing and sharing 🩵

[partoftheband04]

The Last To Make It Home (with myself I am not so forgiving)

Word Count - 2.7k

Summary - You and Sam have been together for a while but you can't help but feel like you're falling behind and holding him back.

Warnings - None really, some angst, they're in a pub so kind of some hints at drinking.

-----------

It’s only on the third call of your name that you look up from mindlessly scrolling through your phone, the sound of your local pub drowning out the people that surround your table. The loud chatter of old men, the music playing through the speaker, the conversation between workers - it all soundtracks your internal spiral that you didn’t even notice yourself slipping into, continuously absorbing post upon post as you automatically like each one.

You raise your eyes to meet Dean’s from across the table, lifting an eyebrow at him in question. He makes a point of looking to your phone then back to your face, raising his own eyebrow as if in challenge, questioning why you’ve been attached to it all night. You heave out a sigh as you put it back into your pocket and cross your arms across your chest, letting him know you’re not happy at him for pointing it out - especially in front of Sam and the rest of your friends.

“Going to get another drink,” you mutter as you stand from your seat, not bothering to ask anyone else in your desperation to get away.

The much quieter, empty bar is a comfort for you as you finally relax, reciting your order to the bartender. Ever since Sam’s music had begun to take off everything seemed to be getting louder and louder. You’d think he couldn’t get any more popular in your small hometown, but with every song the crowd that you both surrounded yourselves with was growing exponentially - chairs dragged to your table by people he had barely spoken to once as soon as you walked through the door.

It's not that you’re not proud of him, or course you are, but you miss the simplicity of before.

Before was calm. Before was just the two of you, mindless chatter as you lay bare under bedsheets, your vulnerability a comfort. Before was your small group of close friends, no secrets and so much love between you all, your family.

Now, everything was so complicated. You felt like everyone was looking into your lives and you didn’t have the power to keep anything hidden. Everything was loud. You felt isolated from your chosen family more than ever and there was nothing you could do to stop it, because that would be selfish.

How could you deprive Sam of his dream, something he had worked so hard for.

So, you suck it up. Literally and metaphorically as you take a sip of your drink for courage and walk back towards the table. Ready for conversation. Ready for loud.

As you lower back into your seat you catch Dean’s gaze again, another lifted eyebrow in question. You chuckle under your breath and give a small nod of your head to let him know you’re fine. He seems to be catching on recently, taking extra notice of you whenever you’re both in the same place.

You feel Sam place his hand on your knee in comfort as he continues his conversation with whichever random person is talking to him now. Your lips lift into a smile, and you stare down into your drink, his thumb rubbing back and forth subconsciously.

You’ve both barely spoken to each other today. Him busy with writing and you stuck at your shift in the town’s secondary school not sure how much longer you can handle the jeering of the teenagers who think it’s funny to comment on your relationship. You spend your lunches in the staff toilet trying not to breakdown, messaging Sam to check how he’s doing.

He doesn’t reply.

You know it’s not on purpose. He phones you four hours later once you’re already back home, lying in your bed, surrounded by darkness and scrolling through your phone. He’s full of apologies as he promises to make it up to you, as if he’s done anything wrong, and all it makes you feel is worse.

You’re holding him back and you hate it.

As a literature teacher you’ve read plenty of romances in your time. You thought the love and passion you see in the books was finally in your hand, but the more time that passes you begin to believe that type of love doesn’t exist - if you can’t have it with Sam then there’s no chance of you ever having it at all. 

After you left college, you knew you didn’t want to go to university but that left you without many other options, almost forced into the career of a teacher with the limited jobs you could take. You felt comfortable taking the job with the intent of figuring out your goals and pursuing something that interested you more in the near future. And that was fine, until suddenly Sam was touring and recruited almost the entirety of your friend group as his band, and you were left alone as they lived their dreams.

You’re not even sure what your dream is.

So, years went by, and you were still stuck in shields as the rest of your friends toured the world, facetiming you whenever they saw something exciting in an attempt to make you feel included. You would smile and laugh as they ranted about everything that was happening on tour but each time a little bit of you broke inside.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were supposed to figure it out after the small bump in the road you were dealt and get back on your feet, but you didn’t see that possibility anymore. You weren’t destined for greatness like Sam, and you certainly aren’t worthy of the love he holds for you.

But you’re too selfish to let him go. He’s the only thing you have left but you can’t help but feel that your love isn’t enough for him. Not anymore. He could get it easily from any of the girls that go to his countless shows.

You suddenly notice the lack of presence of his hand on your knee and find that everyone is getting up to leave. He hugs Dean, Drew and all the other guys (including the people that you are sure he’s never met before) goodbye.

“You know you can phone me whenever you need to, right?” Dean says as he hugs you, making sure no one else around can hear your private conversation.

“What do you mean?” you ask, faking obliviousness in the hopes that you won’t have to explain yourself because, in truth, you wouldn’t even know where to start. 

He grabs your shoulders as he gives you a stern look and tells you, “We’ve all noticed something’s up with you, and I’m not sure what it is but everyone’s worried. Especially Sam. And if something really is wrong you should tell us, we’re a family. At the very least you should tell Sam, you know how he worries when we go away.”

You take a deep breath, willing yourself not to cry as you stare down at the floor. This whole thing seems so ridiculous, and you can’t help but feel like you’re wasting the little time that you seem to get with them now.

“Shit, Dean. I’m fine, you don’t have to worry about me. Everything just seems to be moving a bit fast recently but it’s nothing I can’t deal with myself.” You add a short laugh at the end to convince him further.

He looks at you as though he doesn’t believe you but ultimately just shakes his head as he rubs your shoulder and wishes you well as he moves to leave the pub.

You look to find Sam again and realise that everyone else has left. As you go to put on your coat ready for the walk home, Sam grabs your arm and stops you. You stare at him in confusion, but as he sits back down at the table you follow his actions without question.

“Right,” he says abruptly. “What’s going on with you then?”

The topic of conversation shocks you, not expecting him to dare bring up the distance you’ve been putting between the two of you as of late, whether intentional or not.

“Dean literally just asked me the same thing. I’m fine Sam, I don’t know what you’re both worrying about.”

You’re just trying to convince yourself at this point. It’s sad really.

“Don’t give me that bullshit. We’ve barely spoken since I’ve been back, and I know I’ve been busy, but I’ve at least tried to talk to you and keep this relationship going.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” 

You’re angry now. It’s not that you don’t want to be with Sam anymore, you don’t think you could ever not want to be with him, but you’ve been a ball of crippling insecurity recently and almost don’t see the point in trying to save a relationship that is only going to stop Sam from achieving everything that he wants to in the end.

“You’ve stopped trying! That’s what it means,” he says frustratedly. “You don’t understand how much I miss you when I leave, and to come back and still feel the same distance I did when I was four thousand miles away is quite frankly insulting.”

“You don’t need to miss me when you’ve got everyone else around you. You should be having fun and enjoying touring, not thinking about me.”

“That, quite literally, makes no fucking sense. Why would I not miss my girlfriend? We’ve been together for years and you think I’m just going to forget all about you the second I leave town?”

“I wouldn’t blame you.”

The silence after you utter those four words is palpable and you don’t have the courage to meet Sam’s eyes, terrified that he’s going to agree with you. 

He doesn’t say anything in response, but he does reach out to grab your hand. You look up as he takes your hand in his expecting anything but the concerned look you’re met with.

“You really mean that?” he sounds genuinely shocked, and you find it so difficult to understand why. You just nod your head a little, not knowing how to voice your feelings anymore after being put on the spot like this. “Put your coat on, pub’s closing soon so we need to leave anyway.”

You’ve really done it now. You’ve somehow said the wrong thing again and pushed him away even further and this time you don’t think you’re coming back from it. Once you’ve put on your coat, Sam grabs your hand again and you both leave the pub together, waving goodbye to the staff that you’ve known almost all your lives with smiles on your faces as if the conversation between the both of you hadn’t happened at all.

As you walk down the quiet streets of Shields, back towards your houses, Sam starts the conversation again.

“Have I done something to make you feel like I don’t love you anymore?” his breath is almost sucked out of him as he nearly chokes on the words, tears in his eyes. “I don’t understand what’s happened. We were fine while I was on tour. How has me coming back made everything worse?”

“You were fine when you were on tour.” 

He whips his head to you in confusion, “What?”

You sigh, knowing you won’t ever find a way out of this conversation as much as you try to find one.

“I haven’t been fine for a while Sam.” It feels good to say it. “I honestly can’t remember the last time I really felt fully okay.”

As much as you feel awful for unloading all of this onto Sam, you’re glad you’ve finally had the courage to tell him and break him out of the fantasy you’ve held onto for far too long.

He doesn’t say anything, just stares at you.

“I just feel… wrecked. I’m not myself anymore. Life has moved on so quickly since everything happened and I just feel like I’m falling so far behind. I can’t keep up with you anymore, and that’s okay, but I’m just so sick of feeling like I’m holding you back Sam. I don’t want you to go away and miss me. I’m not worth that.”

There’s a moment of silence, just your footsteps echoing as you walk. 

“You’re worth everything.”

It’s a simple statement, he says it as if it’s fact.

“Don’t do that. You can’t do that Sam, it’s not fair.”

“What do you mean ‘it isn’t fair’? It’s the truth and I honestly don’t understand how you can’t see that. I fucking worship you. You’re not holding me back.”

“I’ve seen the people you’re friends with now. I see the girls that you know, that do music, that are just as amazing as you are and that’s what you deserve. You deserve someone beautiful and talented, someone that understands you and can be there for you. You don’t deserve someone stuck in their hometown that can barely look after themselves and is stuck in the past. That isn’t fair.”

You only now realise that you’ve both stopped walking and your voice has raised to the point that you’re basically shouting.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted.”

You carry on walking.

“That’s what you’re sorry about?” he asks exasperated. “I don’t care that you’re shouting. Shout as much as you fucking want. I care that you’ve kept this from me for God knows how long. You’re meant to tell me these things! We’re supposed to work through them together.”

He’s crying now, and you feel awful for causing it but there’s no way for you to see his perspective. You’re too conditioned by the social media you haven’t stopped looking at since his career took off, you’re too in your own head.

“I don’t even know how to fix this at this point,” he says. “I don’t know you can’t see how much I adore you. You’re not falling behind, we’re just… different. We’re doing different things with our lives and that's fine. It doesn’t mean either path is less important than the other.”

“It’s not fine!” you’re properly shouting now. “I don’t want to be a teacher. I don’t want to be stuck here. I’m so sick of this place Sam, I hate it. I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“Then don’t stay here. Come with me on tour, do literally anything else, you could do anything you wanted to.”

“I can’t Sam. I’m not made for any of that.”

You realise you’ve reached Sam’s house, the light still on in the porch. Your house is only about six houses down the road, and you know that it’s time to put this conversation to bed.

“Look, Sam, it’s late. Can we please just talk about this some other time?”

“No, we can’t. I’m going away again soon, if I leave this now, you’re just going to carry on not talking to me and we won’t fix anything before then.”

“Maybe that’s the way it should be.”

He doesn’t even look shocked at this point. He just sighs in resignation and runs a hand through his hair. 

“You’re serious?”

You don’t even have the nerve to answer him, simply shrugging in reply.

“Right, I guess I’ll see you then,” it’s all he can give you in response. “Please, just know I love you and, once you figure that out, I’ll be here wating for you.” He moves around you, ready to walk up the steps to his front door.

“Okay,” you say quietly, almost immediately regretting your actions over the course of the night, but not having the guts to take any of it back.

You can’t be selfish anymore.

“Get home safe.”

You nod and turn to walk away, not even giving him the luxury of a glance back in his direction, knowing you won’t have the strength to leave otherwise.

The walk back to your house is perhaps the loneliest you’ve ever felt. You flinch as you hear Sam’s front door close behind you but keep walking. It’s as if the door has closed on everything good in your life, forcing you to start a new chapter on your own.

You open your own door, met with only silence. You’re truly alone, truly the last to make it home.

[tomriddlehyperfixataion]

Tom Riddle x reader - blurb/how you(blank) because i need to write SOMETHING

How you meet - During 5th year, its a simple paired potions assignment and you end up getting paired with Tom. he's polite and charming of course, one must be to gain allies, even if they are...less, in his view.

How you gain his attention- Oddly, you don't pay attention to him like most of the girls do(frtho we all be drooling over him and blushing), you just get your work done and be polite. it gains his attention because 'whomst? doesn't react to my charms and face? i must find out the cause'. mans likes a puzzle to solve.

How it starts- he starts hanging around to try and solve the puzzle of you, he wants to know everything, every weakness and every tiny piece about the person who caught his attention. he surmises that he'll lose interest at some point once he learns enough/gains your attention like the other girls always give him. but the longer he hangs around, the more...comfortable he gets. he finds himself gravitating towards you, not really realizing whats happening until its already too late.

How he realizes- during another potions class, Slughorn was reviewing Amortentia and Tom smelled a particular scent that had him reeling back-his eyes going wide and ears turning pink. it was your perfume/shampoo/cologne/body wash/whatever. a smell he had gotten way too acquainted with over the last few months. (yes it takes him literal months to get to this point he is not a love at first sight kinda guy, he has to have some sort of connection) and he has a bit of a breakdown-because haha-WHAT!?

What happens after the realization- He distances himself right away, practically cuts contact. doesn't look at you, doesn't speak to you unless he HAS to. just goes cold turkey. right away he misses you and is just like *AHHHHHHHHHHHHH* but internally...this only lasts about two weeks before he decides 'fuck i miss them' and just stares at you for a good while before he gains to courage to go up to you and start talking again. he keeps his cool, of course he does, but inside he is screaming.

How he confesses- its right before summer break of 5th year, yes he takes forever to confess and he does it right before everyone leaves for the summer, just in case he gets rejected and doesn't have to look you in the eye until the next school term. For once he's fumbling over his words and he cant keep eye contact, his face slowly turning red as you stare at him with a small smile. depending on how you react, he'll either leave with a hidden smile or the STUPIDEST grin he's ever worn, or will wear. the grin will be if you kiss him on the cheek.

When you both come back for 6th year- Oh-he is NERVOUS-he didn't even know he COULD BE nervous. his hands are shaking slightly and he cannot focus on anything he is just so nervous about seeing you again. he hides it well, blank face and everything, but he moment he sees you at the train station, and you smile at him, he cannot help but smile back because holy shit they like me back and i wasn't delusional

lowkey i hc Tom is insecure in relationships(genuine ones)

How he is in a relationship- it takes him a long time to get properly comfortable. pulls back from any pda and wont even let you hold his hand. you can hold his sleeve or something but hand? nope. he's just so unused to being touched in a loving way that he's-almost grossed out by it? but once he finally starts to settle? ooooh he is the cuddliest thing on planet earth. feral cat that felt the loving touch of their human and now will never let them go. pda is at a minimum but now you're always holding hands in some way, pinkies interlocked and everything. study dates are the main dates, but he wont mind a date at the three broomsticks once in a while, as long as you find a quiet corner to hang out in semi-privately. will help you with homework but has to be offered something(wink wink just kidding its candy.) Major! sweet tooth, you could make him commit murder with the offer of sweets(lets be fr he wouldn't need candy to commit murder) jealous! jealous jealous jealous! and possessive, no one is allowed to talk to you, not with out several interviews from Tom and being cleared after taking a written exam on why they wouldn't try anything on his boy/girl.

loves to see you in his hoodies/sweaters, thinks its the best way other than hickeys to mark his territory. will happily give up all his hoodies to make sure everyone knows that you're his.

side note; i see so many tik toks(Slytherin boys react n stuff) that make him super threatening and menacing and willing to kill during the Hogwarts years. like he's smart. really fucking smart. he wouldn't risk anything just for someone he cares a lot about, torture? yes. kill? no. he's not stupid. he's not going to get caught over a stupid boy who gets handsy. will he later kill that idiot after graduation? yes, but during school? when Dumbledore is around to keep an eye on him? no. he's not stupid. he's not a murder machine, he's homicidal not stupid.

Anyway back to the point

Other relationship stuff-

Would take a long time to get to the point were he wants to go past kissing, hell it takes him forever to kiss you for the first time-like legit three months into the relationship. he would do knuckle/hand kisses and cheek kisses here and there-but it takes months for you guys to kiss properly for the first time. but anyway's he had never been attracted to anyone before you and takes a long time to get sexually active with you, mans is a virgin-everyone makes him a playboy and i look at his ass and go 'that man has never touched a girl a day in his life'.

So he learns with you, once he starts? oh yes he goes full horn dog. he is insatiable! cant keep his hands off you in private/semi-private. is pretty vanilla at first but he finds a spicy book and is very intrigued. learns he has a breeding kink very quickly and is very into choke play and control.

First and last love, if you ever leave him(haha you wont), he will probably never get attached to anyone romantically ever again.

Very protective and will keep you out of his 'darker' business, like the chamber and his followers and plans, wants to keep you innocent, to have something that isn't total darkness and evil. now if you're into that kinda thing he wont stop you, but he will keep you away from it all just in case.

Cold hands-will warm them up between your thighs-thick or not.

Has naturally curly hair, and only lets you see it-everyone else gets the polished hair gel look. it took him months to let you see it-but once you proclaim your love for his natural hair-he makes it a point to let you see/play with it before he puts his gel in/after he washes his hair at night.

can and will fall asleep on you, esp. if you're playing with his hair or scratching his scalp/neck, arms fully wrapped around you and konked out, very cute panther lookin ass.

steals ur pillows and switches it with his(he has good pillows and washes his bed sheets/pillow cases routinely)

mayhaps have stolen one of your blankets...you're not getting it back.

will help you do any homework you have trouble with, might even let you copy his homework for a price(wink wink fr this time)

by the end of 7th year, and you're still together, fully plans to buy a ring and marry you. no doubts about it.

[johns-prince]

Y'all I see talk about John being the codependent one between the Lennon-McCartney pair, as if Paul wasn't off in Scotland having a literal spiraling breakdown over the heartbreak and shattering of his world and reality as he'd always known it, of no longer having John, his partner since they were teens, and the band they'd put their spark to give it life (George's words not mine), whilst freshly married with a wife and kid(s).

As if Linda didn't out Paul as being desperate to write with John again.

Paul the family-man man, had to be told by John, the not-so serious family-man man, that he couldn't just come showing up around to play guitar and hangout whenever he'd like, like it was the old days again—I've got a baby in the house Paul you can't just come ringing and knocking at whatever time you want, I'm a (her) husband™ now.

It wasn't John doing that, it was Paul.

I can't stress this enough that both of them were literally balls-to-the-walls crazy about their relationship to each other, their collaborative partnership. Like it was borderline unhealthy, let's be real, let's be frank, how territorial and possessive and near obsessive (full obsessive let's be real Paul's just a teeny bit better at masking it) they were about each other.

The codependency came from both of them.

Not for nothin' if it hadn't been for Linda, Paul might've gotten just as bad about the whole divorce and heartbreak as John had (not just the substance abuse like alcohol but going from one extreme to the other about what they had)

But like all you gotta do is look at how Paul always seems to find a way to bring up and mention John in nearly every interview, or how he dreams of John often and they're usually good dreams, or that he'll imagine John's with him in the room and like they're having a jam session to work out his music, or Paul labeling what they had as soulmates, or how he almost fully insinuated that if he'd been a girl then maybe he could've done something about Yoko, or the fact Paul had (has?) A six foot tall photo of him and John taken by Linda writing lyrics sitting very close in an office, or Paul refusing to acknowledge the fact John was dead and gone for like months, or Paul locking himself in his studio after John's death and blasting (Just Like) Starting Over on repeat for like days, or how apparently for awhile Paul kept talking about John in the present tense (even though John was dead) and it low-key freaked some people out, or Paul believing he witnessed John's spirit in the studio he was during the interview, or him thinking a white peacock that appeared suddenly during a photoshoot of him, Ringo, and George, was John, or the playback static at the end of their recording 'Free as a Bird' was John because Paul swears he heard in that static John Lennon, or his once joking? of wanting his son to name his grandson Lennon so that put together his grandson would be named Lennon McCartney, or—

Basically what I'm trying to say is John wasn't the codependent bff here like he was but so was Paul they were each other's codependent butt-buddy bffluv4eva.

[crybabycinna]

Jason Todd x black fem reader

Since I assume y’all like me writing Jason stuff since my last post is blowing up a bit here’s more. It’s emotional! You don’t feel like a good girlfriend at all to Jason so you have an emotional breakdown in front of him. This talks about sex and having a low sex drive if that makes you uncomfortable please leave this gets a little deep. This is literally based on a personal experience 🤣

Jason had been trying to get you in the mood but you just weren’t feeling it. You tried to fake it but you just couldn’t. You hated telling him no and pushing him away it just felt terrible. What kind of girlfriend doesn’t want to have sex with their partner? Especially if their partner is Jason Todd! How can you say no to this man? What’s wrong with you? The least you can do is have sex with him like any normal girlfriend. Jason was currently kissing your neck and you just wanted this to be over. You wanted him to hurry up and just put it in but he never does he likes to take his time with you.

You love how he worships your body and makes you feel beautiful it’s just right now you don’t want any of this, you hate it. But you keep telling yourself to suck it up and get it over with because you two don’t have sex often you don’t have a high sex drive and Jason understands but when he’s pent up and ask you give in even if you don’t want to. He never forces you but you hate saying no so much. You don’t want him to leave you! This is the best relationship you’ve ever had and if you had to suck it up and have sex with Jason every once in a while to keep him around you would.

You felt Jason grab at your breast and you stiffened. Jason stopped then looked at you. “You ok?” Jason asked. “I’m fine.” You lied. “Is the couch not comfortable? Do you wanna move to the bedroom?” Jason asked. “The couch is fine.” You said. “Are you sure?” Jason asked. You nodded. “Doll tell me what’s going on? I can tell somethings on your mind.” Jason said. He always knew how to read you. “It’s nothing.” You lied again. “Do you not want me to touch your boobs?” Jason asked. You didn’t want him to touch you sexually at all in this moment.

“No it’s not that it’s just the couch is a little uncomfortable but I can make it work.” You told him. He still didn’t buy anything you were saying. “We don’t have to do this tonight if you don’t want to.” Jason said. “No we can I just need to get more comfortable.” You said. “I can tell you’re lying doll.” Jason said and cupped your face. Once he did that the flood gates opened and you balled your eyes out. He held you in his arms. “ it’s ok baby I got you.” Jason said. “I’m so sorry Jason.” You cried. “Sorry about what?” Jason asked.

“I just wanna be a good girlfriend.” You cried into his chest. “You’re the best girlfriend ever what are you talking about?” Jason asked as he rubbed your back. “I feel so fucking useless.” You sobbed. “Baby you aren’t useless just talk to me ok? What’s going on?” Jason asked. “I feel terrible for having a low sex drive and not being able to give you what you want, I’m so sorry.” You said. “Baby girl I don’t care if we have sex or not. Is it nice yes but if you don’t want to then we won’t it’s fine our whole relationship isn’t about sex.” Jason said. “But I feel so bad turning you down giving you sex is the least I can fucking do. It should be easy.” You said.

“You should never ever feel bad, have you just been letting me have sex with you even though you don’t want to?” Jason asked. You nodded. “Baby don’t ever do that. If you don’t want to that’s that. Don’t ever do that again. I love you. You are the best girlfriend I have ever had. You treat me so well, you cook for me, you love me and even when I’m being a hard ass you are so kind and patient with me. You are the best thing in my life. I’ll do anything for you.” Jason said. “I just feel like I don’t deserve you if I can’t at least have sex with you. I don’t want you to ever think I’m not attracted to you or into you. I love you.” You sobbed harder.

“I know you love me. You show it in the little actions you do. I’m the one that doesn’t deserve you. I’m so sorry I ever made you feel like you had to have sex with me.” Jason said and held you tighter. He felt like shit. How did he not know you didn’t want to do this? “You never made me feel like i have to have sex with you I just feel like I have to because we don’t do it often and when you do ask I feel like I have to because we don’t do it often. It doesn’t feel right to turn you down.” You said. “Baby if you aren’t enjoying yourself it doesn’t feel right. I want to make you feel good and comfortable. Please if you don’t want to tell me. I don’t want to make you do something you don’t want to do it’s not right.” Jason said.

“I just feel bad.” You said and looked up at him. “Don’t feel bad. At the end of the day this is your body it’s your choice. Don’t feel like you have to give up your body to me just because. Please don’t even do this again, if you aren’t in the mood say so and that will be that.” Jason said. “I just don’t want you to leave me.” You said. “Doll I’m not going anywhere. I love you. You’re the only one for me. You’re stuck with me forever. You’re going to be my wife one day and I mean that. I don’t want anyone but you.” Jason said. You wrapped your arms around his neck.

Jason always knew how to make you feel better. You knew his words to be true he wasn’t going anywhere. He loved you too much and showed you off to everyone. He let everyone know you are his girl and how much he adores you. “I love you.” You said. “I love you too doll.” Jason said. “I do wanna have sex with you I just can’t but I want to I really do.” You said. “Maybe there’s something we can do to get your libido up.” Jason said. “TikTok should be able to tell me how to do that.” You said. Jason laughed and so did you.

[ipatrichor]

dead boy detectives episode four thoughts

hey remember last post where i said last episode gave me everything I wanted. HOW ARE WE FEELING NOW BOYS. WE GOT THE BREAKDOWN!!! THAT MAN HAD AN EMOTIONAL OUTBURST AND COLLAPSED WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!!!!!

okay so i was wrong and charles' dad did not kill him. that's fine tbh I like this a lot, that he was essentially accidentally killed by his friends bc he stood up to them when they were bullying someone (? i think that's what the scene was implying. idk i was really excited about seeing him have a mental breakdown i might have missed something 😭). not to say that what they were doing was an accident, i just don't think they were trying to kill him i think they took the bullying too far and then maybe panicked when he died and covered it up, and that's why his death is unsolved? anyway very interesting! they truly do not miss with charles everything we've gotten from him is so great it makes me even more excited for edwin backstory haha

GOD CHARLES' BREAKDOWN.... that is everything i've ever wanted from a character repressing their emotions do u understand that. he got slammed into some of his worst memories, the most painful and traumatic moments of his life, and then with all those emotions back on the surface he went apeshit!!! i Love him getting aggressive to protect his friends (because that's really what he does, isn't it. he's the brains, i'm the brawn. god.) and then breaking down crying because he can't keep pretending like things are fine anymore, there's too much all at once for him to shrug it off. PHENOMENAL stellar acting stellar writing i love all of this i am eating it like soup!!!

and just. the things he was saying, about how he has to keep being positive he has to keep it together because if he doesn't who will? who else have they got to keep spirits up and stop the group from self-destructing? god it's. so good. i am not going to elaborate on some of that striking a nerve but. god. they gave me everything i wanted to see i love it so much!!! that is everything i hoped for from this story beat you understand!!!!

i wonder if maybe jenny is going to get an episode? or like a b-plot focused on her, something like that. the love letters seem like a plot thread that's going to be pulled on later, it just doesn't seem like this show to establish a mystery and then have it only be a background detail. we'll see tho ^^ i love jenny, i'd love to see more of her she's so fun. reminds me of a friend of mine tbh so i am biased, but also i deeply appreciate a woman with knives on a societal and also personal level 👍

okay can i just say. the night nurse (thank u noble for telling me her name <3) is kind of an asshole right. like i don't think she's evil she's doing a very necessary job, but it's actually delightful how ruthless she is about it. oh these two souls are refusing to move on? throw them into their worst traumas and the most painful moments of their lives to convince them there's nothing worth staying on earth for. sure, it's cruel, but who cares? it's efficient, and that's what matters. these are just children acting out to her, who don't understand the importance of what she does to keep everything in order. i love ruthless characters, and she's done so well she's so fun to watch

also. i do not think this is the last we've seen of her. like yeah she got fed to a sea monster but also she's literally from the afterlife and can travel back to earth wherever as long as she gets the permits. so. i think they bought some time, but that won't last long and they're still stuck in the town so i think she's far from done with them, and we'll see her again probably sooner rather than later (especially since she knows where they're staying)

crystal. my girl. beloved. PLEASE stop almost dying every episode it's bad for my blood pressure. you don't understand you're a living person which means they can kill you while still having you as a character on the show by making you become a ghost. you and niko don't have that safety net Please be more careful 😭

we got some really interesting lilith lore this episode, and it's got me thinking. a goddess of blood and wronged women... what about esther? she's been kidnapping and killing little girls, is that not wronging them? has it just not caught up to her yet because she's been making sacrifices, and if so what happens now that the squad has stopped her from kidnapping more kids? is she on some kind of time limit? this is So interesting I am deeply intrigued by the possibilities here...

the cat king was... there. okay i will admit the scene where he shapeshifted into monty and then charles was interesting. the implications are Fascinating, especially the order- he shifts into monty first and only briefly, but it doesn't seem to affect edwin until he shifts into charles. and then, edwin seems almost entranced until the yellow eyes show through which is. there are certainly implications! idk if it means anything besides instinctively trusting charles more bc they've known each other longer or something like that- especially considering this is netflix we're talking about, but then again the show got cancelled so maybe things did get gay! they've also set up edwin possibly having a crush on monty, or at least being unsure how he feels about him so. no idea but i am Keeping An Eye On That 👀

also. him saying he's never really been interested in/seen the appeal of kissing but now isn't sure whether it's something he wants... clutching grayro/demiro edwin to my chest. this is mine now he's one of us 👍

speaking of edwin, his moment there with niko at the end was really sweet. they're watching scooby doo together 😭 it's the perfect blend of their interests bc it's a detective cartoon.... their friendship is so cute holy shit. the simplicity and genuineness of their dynamic is so sweet, how edwin praises niko's detective work (telling her she's good at something very important to him!) and niko offers a listening ear without judgement as he works through what looks like it's shaping up to be a sexuality crisis. they mean so much to me... they're friends your honor!!!!

oh also charles and crystal kissed. idk man i don't have many thoughts on that. good for them 👍 I think the framing was sweet, in that the show sets up the kiss as the 'something real' crystal wants, but i will admit that part of me is disappointed because i wanted crystal and niko to get together. idk i thought they balanced each other out well, with crystal being subtle where niko is blunt and niko having hope where crystal is cynical, but. that's fine. i wasn't super invested. it's fine. no lesbians for me i guess... sad! oh well

all silliness aside, this episode was yet another Banger they simply do not miss!! the lighthouse ghost was such a fun character, and i love niko's kindness shining through again as she offers edwin red sea glass for courage and the walrus man green sea glass for emotional stability after telling him how she found the washerwoman. niko sasaki the woman that you are.... anyway i'm starting the next episode and then afterwards we'll see how i feel i might need to break for dinner lol

[leonenjoyer69]

Both your OCs occupy space in my mind lol I love both Harry and Elias. Would you mind giving some more rambles please and thank you? About either one. I just love learning more about them.

VJEKBKDKF TYSM, I'M GLAD YOU LIKE THEM :D it makes me very happy to know that people enjoy my ramblings and art of my lil fellas :3 (also, all you sweet anons are gonna be the death of me with your mysterious identities!)

(SUB NOTE: if anyone ever has any ideas at all or art requests or something for either of my sillies PLEASE don't hesitate to bring them up I would literally love hearing any suggestion or answering any question ever)

Anyways!!! I've actually been waiting to drop a bunch of stuff on these fellas that I've been talking about with some folks on Discord (which y'all can also ask for if you wanna talk to me on there I LOVE TALKING TO YOU GUYS), so thank you for granting me the perfect opportunity >:3 so, without further ado, I shall begin:

First of all, i just wanted to drop my height HCs bc,,,, why not lmao

I can't exactly visualize heights very well in my mind so these may be a wee bit too tall, idk, but yeah! I think giving Hyde an extra half inch would be funny bc you KNOW that mf would just round up lmao. Elias is a bit taller than Hyde, which Hyde kinda hates sometimes, itty bitty fella.

Anyways!! Harry is first up for rambling bc I have less for him rn lmao. I don't remember if ive mentioned it much before on here, but I know I included it in the fic i did for him, and that's his Scottish accent :3 we as a fandom don't write Jekyll's accent enough so I like projecting it onto injured Hyde and now Harry 😌 MORE SCOTTISH JEKYLL PLEASE-

Harry didn't really have to worry about keeping face in the mindscape (except for when around Mind Lanyon, who would pester tf out of him over it) so he fell back to at LEAST having an accent. He partially fell back on it because 1, it made him feel a wee more comfortable, and 2, because of how often he revisited memories from university (specifically during his and Lanyon relationship ofc), so he's used to hearing himself speaking with at least a drawl.

But yeah, that accent kinda sticks with him when he gains control and he has quite a hard time shaking it, which makes for some fun interactions, like when Lanyon's trying to break down his office door :3333

I believe I've mentioned this, but Harry is very very sensitive to most physical sensations (touch, pain, etc.) and has some light and sound sensitivities for a decent bit after gaining control. Because of how long he spent in the mindscape with numbed senses, It really messed with him to suddenly have control again. Eventually he starts getting used to it again, but for the first few days he's practically on the edge of a mental breakdown at every moment. He's also super jumpy from it (and from the ungodly paranoia he got from the mindscape lmao) and is quite firmly "no touch" for about a week (except for when he initiates stuff with Lanyon). Once he gets used to it tho his touch starved ass is a lot more affectionate and such.

One last thing for him! He's also far more sensitive to hunger and thirst sensations/pain, so he tends to take far better care of their body while in control. It took him a short while to get used to eating and drinking again, but he's more than happy to do it, not realizing how much he had missed it. Plus, he's seen how horrible Jekyll and Hyde would take care of themselves, so he certainly doesn't want their neglect to be his downfall. He's also a bit more sensitive to being tired, but can't sleep very well (especially without Lanyon) because of paranoia and nightmares.

OKAY, NOW, onto Elias!! Most all this stuff is from a discord convo that I didn't feel like rewording, so... Sorry if the formatings weird 💀 (questions are indented and italicized, as well as abbreviated)

OKAY SO, For how Henry (or whoever) convinces Elias to switch back:

Elias usually throws some sort of fit when he's initially order to switch back (except for the very rare instances where he's actively wanting to switch back, like when everyone's busy and he starts getting lonely anyways), though most the time he'll simmer down when Henry starts sorta begging or when either Henry or Lanyon (or very occasionally Hyde) lowkey bribe him. Usually Henry (or Hyde) will bribe him with physical touch/affection (hugs, cuddling, kisses, stuff like that), or bonding time, like going out and doing things together and such (or just doing stuff together at the society, like watching Henry do science or doing paperwork 💀). (Also, sometimes Jekyll will just get somewhat impatient and start asking more desperately and the guilt kinda gets to Elias, Henry usually feels bad about it tho) otherwise, Lanyon will bribe him (quite grudgingly, might I add) with more time out, going to the park with Elias in shadow form and talking, or letting him get a gift for Jekyll or Hyde. But yeah, Elias is lowkey like a little affectionate, overactive puppy :3

[...] I misread "letting him get a gift for Jekyll or Hyde" as "letting him get a gift FROM Jekyll or Hyde" and swore for a moment that sometimes Jekyll/Hyde sent gifts to Elias but Lanyon stole them [... ]

LANYON WOULD TOTALLY STEAL ELIAS'S STUFF TO USE AS BARGAINING LEVERAGE 💀 but yes, bribery is the go to, this guy does NOT like being locked away, so when he does it's either out of guilt or he's getting something out of it, hehe

[...] Imagine that since Lanyon is probably taller than elias, he just hides some lf his stuff on higher places so that he cannot reach them, I feel like Elias would annoy the hell out of him so that he stops doing it though (Lanyon puts them back where they where, and when Elias isn't there, he just hides them again) also, I just imagined Jekyll like guilt tripping or manipulating him so that he drinks the potion

Oh he absolutely would, Lanyon would have a whole "confiscated" shelf for it too, and Elias would definitely whine about it with sooo much persistence. AND JFKGKKF YEAH JEKYLL WOULD 😭😭 both out of selfishness and not, since he still hasn't tested how the formula behaves when an alter ego is out for prolonged amounts of time, and sometimes he just wants Robert back.

Jekyll likes Elias, he just has more of a preference for Lanyon. Jekylls probably also got a bit less patience for Elias's whining after dealing with Hyde's for so long lmao, he always feels kinda bad about being mean or anything to Elias tho, since it's kinda his fault that Lanyon split.

Would Lanyon ever like bother Elias with the fact that Jekyll likes him better?? Like maybe, at one point he just gets too tired of him wanting to hang out with Jekyll and says to him that Jekyll just deals with him out of pity, and like Elias then just feeling kinda bad about it and wondering if Jekyll actually likes him??

If Lanyon's feeling especially spiteful and annoyed, probably, but also Elias worries about that enough on his own and bothers Lanyon with all his self deprecating thoughts anyways 💀

How does Hyde feel about Elias?

He's generally guilt free about the whole "splitting Lanyon" thing and /gen likes Elias way more than he likes Lanyon lmao. He still gets that sorta bitter anger and resentment when he looks at Lanyon, but he doesn't get that with Elias. Hyde kinda thinks that Elias is all the best parts of Lanyon (Except for Elias's emotional sensitivity sometimes, but Hyde deals. He feels surprisingly bad when he upsets Elias..) But yeah, Elias is most of the reason why Hyde is complacent enough to actually kinda lay low after messing up Blackfog and stuff, so Jekyll certainly likes Elias for keeping Hyde somewhat in check lmao

And that's everything I have for this!!! Thank you so much for the ask :D

[xerith-42]

What do you think of the handling for Aaron and aphmaus romance? I know a lot of people who hate it and a lot who love it

Take everything I say here with a grain of salt as my feelings on their romance are bound to change once I actually get to Season 2 in my rewatch/breakdown. I'm mostly speaking from memory here.

As it is now, I'm very disappointed by their romance. While there is wasted potential left and right in Minecraft Diaries, never is it more egregious to me than when looking at Aaron. His introduction into the series in episode 67 is great because it's so fucking vague that the creators can take him literally anywhere they want. And in episode 91 my beloved he gets reintroduced and has it slapped onto his character in equally vague terms that he has beef with Zane.

And even though he doesn't get much else in Season 1, hell he's barely graduated from being a "hot mysterious stranger" as the description of episode 92 describes him, I like where they can take his character. Who knows what atrocities Zane has committed to make him willing to fight Zane to the extent that he is. The problems start when we find out the truth as to why Aaron wants to kill Zane.

Aaron is given so much potential with his backstory and deep connection to the conflict with Zane, but it never really goes... Anywhere. And that's because of the vector in which both Aphmau and the viewer are shown his backstory. In Season 2 episode 42 Aphmau just gets shown Aaron's back story because something something Irene's relic, and it is NEVER EXPLAINED. Because the creators don't actually want to explain it, or even care beyond something something Irene's relic. It doesn't matter how, just that she did.

And this takes away a lot of potential from Aaron because he isn't given the choice to open up about what happened in Falcon Claw on his own. He doesn't get to tearfully tell Aphmau in gory detail what Zane took away from him. There's nothing but his anger that she knows after she's already seen it. And this sucks, because we really could have had a moment of the two bonding here, of Aaron opening up about something he's been understandably cagey about, of Aphmau showing him love and empathy in his time of grief.

I know a lot of people parrot the phrase "Show don't tell" but god dammit sometimes it's best to tell. Sometimes it's worse to be shown. This is one of those moments where Aaron should have been allowed to just be standing in the ruins of Falcon Claw, heard Aphmau come up behind him, and try to push her away. Tell her it's just an old village he found in the woods. And Aphmau can then very calmly and tenderly ask "Then why do you sound like you're about to cry?"

This could have lead to Aphmau comforting Aaron during a difficult moment and solidly establishing a real palpable connection between the two. But instead Aphmau is just shown Aaron's tragic backstory, and then they start romancing each other right after. I don't object to this romance happening, I just would've liked for them to have a little more to go off of. I would've liked Aaron willingly opening himself up to Aphmau and that being the vector for their eventual romance.

And obviously I want this romance to happen NOT at the expense of Garroth and Laurance's characters. I want this romance to happen unexpectedly for everyone, but for Aphmau to be able to actually explain why she and Aaron love each other, especially after his death. Aphmau is a character who has never been allowed to explain her romantic feelings, which is fine if you never plan on pairing her with anyone, but having her ship teased with two people and then enter an explicit romance with another and still NEVER go into details about it is just bad writing.

TLDR: Aarmau angers me because I can see where it could have been a good couple but Jesson had to do a Jesson and be bad at writing.

[squarebracketsmileyface]

The gender exploration fic officially has a name now :D

It's gonna be "My Girl, My Girl, My Girl (You Will Be)" because Tim's Girl, Jay Will/could Be (eventually, they're working towards it slowly 💀) or just MGx3 (cos MG times 3 lol) for short because that's a bit of a long name and I really can't be bothered to write it out a bunch of times all the time but yay :D

I'm planning out the plot outline and chapters at the moment, which is going vaguely well, tho I'm trying to keep some kinda storyline behind it as well as it just showing what Tim and Jay get up to in their free time through August to December (cough cough their sex life through that time period). Figuring out how to keep the MH side of the story rolling is a bit tricky, because looking at the actual, irl entries, not a lot actually happens in those four months 💀

Like, Tim and Jay fight over that tape and stop working together. Jay tries to attack Tim in his home and gets ziptied. Tim goes to Benedict hall and hoody helps Jay escape. Jay goes to Benedict hall. And then it's entry 80 and Jay's dying.

Like. So little happens across all the entries uploaded, but I don't want to give them much less time and just have it that the entries were uploaded really spaced apart after the events in them happened all at once, because I wanna write a whole bunch of smut for them lol. I gotta give Jam an excuse to not just go straight to Benedict hall pretty much immediately, because like, currently? What's stopping them? Literally nothing. They could go there halfway through August and still be as well prepared for it as they were in actual MH.

They probably did go earlier than the entries were posted in irl MH didn't they lol. But I need them to have those four months to be all happy couple together, I need itttttttttttt. I also need them to have those four months so Tim can learn a bit about IIAB and knock some sense into Jay's dumb little "woe is me I am nothing but the victim" brain and set him on the road to realising that what he did was very not okay even if he genuinely thought he was in the right/doing that Alex wanted him to do even at the sacrifice of his own comfort.

COS THAT'S A THING TOO, so much of Jay's pushiness and all that in IIAB came from a place of him genuinely thinking he was doing something for Alex rather than subjecting him to it.

It feels like such a fine balance to make sure Jay isn't irredeemable. He's not malicious with anything, he's just scared of losing people by not giving them what they want, and scared of not knowing what to do to not lose someone new.

Was it stupid for him to try the choking thing with Tim when the first time he tried it caused the breakdown of his and Alex's fwb relationship? Yes. It was so fucking stupid. But Jay was scared and hey either it was going to be fine, or it'd drive Tim away rather than letting him be the one to leave and Jay was still rather in the mindset of thinking Tim would leave him at some point and he couldn't stand the thought of that. It'd be much less painful if he drove Tim away.

He still kinda thinks that honestly.

Doing that kinda thing to get what he wanted from Alex had worked and been 'fine' every time up until Jay actually put himself in harms way with it. So like, he didn't exactly put two and two together while he was freaking out a bit with Tim.

Also with how it went with Alex that last time, Jay was still vehemently ignoring that he was even somewhat at fault for that fwb relationship ending. Sure he knew he'd done something wrong, but he refused to figure out exactly what and actually think about what that meant for himself. Alex never told him what he did so it was a lot easier to blame Alex and hate him rather than actually look at himself and his actions. It was also easier to think of it more as Amy taking Alex away from him, or poisoning Alex against him than to think that he was actually the reason for Alex finally telling him to fuck off.

No one wants to think they've done that. No one wants to think maybe they pushed for something someone doesn't want to do a little too hard, and really really hurt that person who they care about deeply.

Then there's the whole thing that a lot of what Jay did in uni, he also wasn't super comfy with? He was just so completely convinced it was what Alex wanted because of all their previous interactions. Then he got it so in his head that when Alex said he *didn't* Jay just couldn't wrap his head around it and assumed Alex was making *himself* uncomfy in order to try and cater to Jay's crush on him, and Jay much preferred being uncomfortable himself than making Alex uncomfortable.

And that's what he saw it as. He saw it as him sacrificing his own comfort for Alex's a lot of the time. Like, yes. He enjoyed the rougher sex and all that and they had a lot of times that I haven't actually specifically written where they just had fun with it and enjoyed it a hell of a lot. Most of their uni relationship wasn't bad. Most of their uni relationship was just kinda fine. Not great, neither of them were completely happy with it, but it wasn't the level of toxic that it could be all the time.

[mitsvriii]

hello dear !! congrats on 300, 3 million next 🤞

now then, can i please have a handpicked bouquet from a nursery with roses + cosmos for either zhongli, freminet or neuvillette (i don’t mind!!)

thank you and congratulations once more ٩(^‿^)۶♡

if i could slow time

bell's notes: you cannot just drop those prompts with those characters and leave sir /gn erm 😐 /nm. breaking my heart ☹️💔😔 /lyr, also yes 3 mil for bell 🙏, dumbi 2 tril next 🫵, ty tho 💓, the 'right person wrong time' is not even noticeable im, this is so short i cannot, first time writing anything besides gn!reader so if it's inaccurate im so so sorry, not proofread

contents: zhongli x male!reader, mention of death, angst and fluff, 567 word count

summary: in which your soulmate hardly interacts with you, and the reason why is just as bad as the hurt of his ignorance

It was stupid. A crush you happened to work for has gone wild in the sense that you may or may not have noticed that his wrist was tainted with your name. This not only caused you to have an entire mental breakdown that you couldn’t let show physically, but you rushed out of the funeral parlor, nearly knocking down Hu Tao with your theatrics. 

Not to mention, you thought Zhongli was either clueless, didn’t care, or was just naturally calm about things this extreme because he saw the man who was now his soulmate every day without a stutter, shake, or a cracked-up voice; unlike yourself. Who were you to complain, though? If he acted normal and made no big deal of it, it was most likely not a big deal, right?

You only groaned out annoyingly as you pushed the thoughts away, focusing on the smell of coffins as you helped a woman pick out one for her new-found lover who turned dead because of some freak mitachurl accident. To which you could only nod solemnly in response too, praying to the archons above that something like that wouldn’t happen to you before Zhongli decided to pay attention to you being his soulmate.

It was only a matter of time before the woman left that you quite literally had enough, and rushed to knock on Zhongli’s office door, tapping your foot impatiently as you waited for him to open it. He couldn’t have let you inside at a better time before you brushed past him, albeit harshly, before turning around to face him.

“You’ve been ignoring me.” Four words and you almost swore Zhongli blinked back a cry at them, a solemn smile playing at his lips before he sighed, motioning for you to sit in the chair in front of his desk.

The conversation was nothing like you had imagined in your head. No ‘I’m not into men’, no ‘There’s someone else, no ‘I’m not interested in having a soulmate, but an “I’m an archon” in its place. After letting the statement settle in, Zhongli continued with his explanation in a manner so calming that it almost made you regret your previous snap towards him just a few minutes ago.

He failed to converse with you about your souls being intertwined because he felt as if he would be burdening you with the truth that when you two got completely attached you would pass on before him, centuries before him if he was going to be honest; although it seems as if he was burdening you with the truth now.

You would grow and he would not, you would maybe adopt a child and they too would grow old and he would not, you would fear over time where you would leave him and he would not. He was afraid, afraid that you would worry so much about him and his sake of being with his soulmate, that you wouldn’t enjoy the time you spent together.

But in the end, you both agreed. The two of you would spend the rest of your time together in this world until it came for you to part, and no matter what had happened you wouldn’t feel the need to worry about what would happen to him after you eased to live.

“Because as long as I still can recall memories of you, I shall be fine.”