#literally have only WRITTEN THE PLAN
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if i could churn out school work as fast as i churn out splatoon essays and vod reviews i would never spent more than 2 hours writing proofreading and finalising a 1000 word essay for class ever again
#617 words in 45 mind hahaha#the consequences of having to many thoughts in my brain#splatoon#i havent even gotten TO THE VOD YET#ive literally only written out how to play the first ~10 seconds every game#literally have only WRITTEN THE PLAN#i literally have a LAN on sunday i need to get it dont before them so he can read it#:'''''''')#so many thoughts so little time#trying to explain the thought process of playing splatoon is like trying to explain to someone how you play tennis but like#in depth#its like explaining tennis and going into the details of different string tension on the raquet and the handed-ness of the player your vsin#and how what side they serve from determines how you predict the position of the ball#and how you play etc#but you have to be DETAILED because im COAHCING SOMEONE aough how do i compile 8 years of exp into a reasonable length#I was gonna go for <1000 words but i sure as hell cant do that now!!! hahaha#i think itll end up <3000? hopefully#im not tryna send this guy a fucking letter just bashing his gameplay tho (sob)#atleast i can copy abunch of what im saying into the team disc and make people read it#i love being strategy captain (autism)#i might upload some of it here... maybe... i know nobody cares but it might help someone rank up so hmm#fun little general tips yeah!!! yeah ill upload them here when im done#currently on a word doc in the splatoon2 font WOO#ok night its 0139
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Twitter shouldn't be the only one to see the video version of this
I was waiting for Tumblr to be grumpy about the size so it's really just the Loop talk
#isat#isat spoilers#act 6 spoilers#in stars and time#I'm main tagging this oh god#isat siffrin#isat loop#isat shitpost#isat au#I'd say “isat mod” but that's a ton of planning for me alone#also I'm extremely self-conscious about everything when I'm not extremely curious about something#like this thing is giving me anxiety from how it's literally just an add to the game with Loop in it#because again. those sprites make me think a lot and this is exactly what I was thinking#(not quite but I struggled with Act 6 2hats map and it won( )#I really want to try more though#for research purposes#I love how isat is written - coding wise - I just look at it and go IT'S SO INTERESTING and just learn how did one lead to another and stuf#it's like how I was with undertale back in 2017 BUT I never learned how to open undertale or see the code aside from saves#and learning how to manipulate them was so fun!#sadly isat saves are written differently so I can't do that manually#but I DO have like 7 Act 6 saves#anyway a fun fact - this save is actually pre-2hats battle I checked at the end but cut that out#so basically in this scenario there are two Loops at once! what a miracle!#but honestly Loop is literally based on how Head Housemaiden is written I checked Isa's dialogues to check where did I make a mistake#and basically all other stuff was me dealing with editing sprites bc Loop has only a walk cycle and this one has all sprites to rotate#anyway! that's that!#video#human loop#also Siffrin faces are so much fun to choose from I love them
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one of my favourite aspects of supernatural that you very rarely see in paranormal shows is that sam and dean are already versed in the world they live in. there’s no sudden discovery of ghosts and demons and now they have to learn about them along with the audience; they are born into it and already know all about it. it allows the audience to follow their personal story instead of also trying to figure out this new world and its rules
the first season is full of knowledge we never see them learn; “w*ndigoes are in the minnesota woods or- or northern michigan. i’ve never even heard of one this far west.” […] “great. well then this [his gun] is useless.” (1x02), “you don’t break a curse. you get the hell out of its way.” (1x08), d: “it’s a god. a pagan god, anyway.” […] “the annual cycle of its killings? and the fact that the victims are always a man and a woman. like some kind of fertility right.” […] s: “the last meal. given to sacrificial victims. d: “yeah, i’m thinking a ritual sacrifice to appease some pagan god.” (1x11)
almost every episode in the first season is a monster they’ve faced before that they then explain to the audience in a way that should feel patronising; like it’s the same speech given over and over again but instead, the audience almost feels included in the knowledge. it’s stated with such an innate confidence and comfort in said knowledge that it feels like we already knew it too; “spirits and demons don't have to unlock doors. if they want inside, they just go through the walls.” […] “the claws, the speed that it moves; could be a skinwalker, maybe a black dog.” (1x02), “it's biblical numerology. you know noah's ark, it rained for forty days. the number means death.” (1x04), “no no no, not the reaper, a reaper. there's reaper lore in pretty much every culture on earth, it goes by 100 different names.” […] “you said it yourself that the clock stopped, right? reapers stop time. and you can only see 'em when they're coming at you which is why i could see it and you couldn't.” (1x12)
they already know and, at least in the first season, already have what they need to kill whatever they’re hunting; already know to salt and burn bones for spirits, fire for a w*ndigo, exorcisms for demons, a silver bullet to the heart for shapeshifters. there’s only three times in the entire first season that they run into something new to them; 1x14 when sam gets his first vision that leads him to another psychic, 1x16 when dean calls caleb for help on the sigil he put together and he tells him about daevas, and 1x20 when they find out vampires are real- and they only don’t know that bc john thought they were hunted to extinction and not worth mentioning
(there’s also technically two half instances if you count one of them knowing something the other doesn’t - sam figuring out the tulpa in 1x17 and dean already knowing about the shtriga in 1x18 - but those still rely on sam and dean having prior knowledge)
even when they’re uncertain about facing something, it’s not bc they don’t know what it is; it’s precisely bc they know what it is and acknowledge that it’ll be a difficult hunt (“i don't know, man. this isn't our normal gig. i mean, demons, they don't want anything, just death and destruction for its own sake. this is big. and i wish dad was here.” 1x04)
so much of the tension in paranormal shows typically comes from the main character(s) not knowing what is happening to them/the people around them and having to find out how to resolve it. supernatural is unique in that it operates more like a police procedural. the tension comes from solving the clues and identifying patterns to figure out who (what) the killer is and intercepting before they can take another victim
it’s such a different tone to go for when compared to other shows that came both before, during, and after its run. it sets sam and dean on even footing with each other since they both have the same knowledge going in, and it puts them in a place of authority usually reserved for an outside character
the shows i compare spn to most is charmed, buffy and teen wolf; every main character in those shows are brought into the paranormal world knowing nothing, putting them on the same level as the audience, and they have their mc interact with others already knowledgeable about that world in order to overcome their problem/monster of the week. the audience organically learns about this new world as the characters learn about it. it’s a sound writing strategy that prevents “as we already know”-style exposition but something that complicates it is if your world building isn’t unique or intriguing enough, this slow introduction can become boring
we’ve seen shows like these before; sitting through the same tropes of characters learning to use their powers, struggling with no longer feeling normal/relating to the regular world around them, and not knowing how much they can trust the people already involved in this new world gets repetitive. all three shows eventually reach the same level of comfort with their new world that spn starts with but if the characters aren’t enough to draw you in, you can end up dropping it before they reach that point (and often, before the overarching plot can really kick in and evolve the show beyond the villain of the week format)
it’s the superhero origin movie in tv format; dragged out and overplayed. dropping the audience into an established world of course comes with its own problems but you also have the benefit of pre-existing established character dynamics that let the audience slot in like they’ve always been there instead of just getting to know all the characters while the characters also get to know each other
sam and dean already knowing about the supernatural lets the audience immediately get to the core of the story; the conflict between sam and dean, the search for their father, and the mystery of what killed their mother
#i could go on forever theres literally so many examples#dean figuring the ‘two dark doubles’ is a shapeshifter sam figuring out the changing ghost is a tulpa#also peak how many of these examples come from dean despite them pushing so hard for sam to be the one knowing hunting theory#this format is why i cant stand watching the first season of charmed despite loving it so much#i just cant be bothered watching them have the same struggle ive seen a hundred times play out again#different genre but sons of anarchy does this well too; all the characters are already in the club life and already have inner conflict#spn having such a natural introduction makes me so glad they didnt go with the original plan of sam not knowing about hunting#that wouldve been Painful#watching spn so young has really shaped my view of media bc i legit cant stand things with a learning curve#give me an established world damnit#lord of the rings never stops to explain what a dwarf is! you just go with it! and it rules!#dean is just as theoretical and lore savvy as sam and id go as far to say he actually knows more#instead of trying to do this bullshit brains v brawn divide they shouldve done new tech vs analogue#sams laptop is famous and he also knows how to hack thing where the second dean doesnt know something he defaults to books#have dean be the one where if its written down he can find it almost like a proto bobby#they even kind of support that by him being the one to find the phoenix in s6 when they go through all their books#but this was 2005 and characters could only be so conplex and theyd already decided dean needed to be the hot one and sams the nerd one#side note how many of these metas am i going to write on this rewatch? tbd#side side note included all the quotes and episode numbers makes me feel so academic#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#carry on my wayward son#talk meta to me#meta#supernatural meta#spn#supernatural#dean winchester#sam winchester#save post
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something bad did indeed happen to that man. spent abt 25 minutes trying to find a better picture of that one (1) offical piece with his eyes open that wasnt compressed or tiny
#library of ruina#yan library of ruina#getting comfortable doodling some objects and mannequin shapes for very obvious reasons. i read the keypage story and now it has a grip on#my brain. wanting to go ahead and plan it out and then draw the mangled memory and nightmare that replays behind the eyelids in the darknes#it was cool to see the reason confirmed from my speculation. twas indeed another reason of blocking out present pain with closing of eyes#considering they made angela have a plot important reason for doing so it would only make sense for another to have a reason for it as well#well. after having a prominent part inside the thumb/index story line. its just going to be yapping about yan now i think#let me add a spoiler tag i suppose? vauge but just incase i dont want to be an asshole. even if most already have played rhe game#library of ruina spoilers#lor spoilers#i really liked the typewritter effect over the voice after distortion. especially so when the effect finishes before the actual garbled voi#does. it makes it feel as if it were being read out after it being written down rather than of own words or volition. along with the text#upon the screen during the fight being just prescripts rather than anything relating to the man himself like the other instances with such#text had been. paired w the name of distorted yan being untranslated to keep the intent of the name being unreadable or not understandable#more into the idea of stripping away of the self or any sense of a self. not personal and not even him anymore. the following of a goal for#the goal for it is given and there isnt any hope of having the ability to not do such a thing. people yearn for a reason and something to d#and for it to be given to them to not hold responsibility nor have to do their own choices anymore. once a crushing weight weighs down#inside the face of an absolute cruelty that is perpetuated and that crushed the dreams or even desires having them be but nothing how can#one move on? it was really nice to see at the end of the fight. its easier to just say such things than to actually do them. even if the ac#ions dont even feel as if they are ones own or that there isnt any say in the matter having to endure all the pain for seemingly nothing it#still is pain. that feeling inside is still real. it still happened. regardless of the circumstances that brought them about#the thumb/index or just fingers seem to be an exaggerated to the extreme showcase of how the colletivist mindset in an unhealthy manner#could be exhibited. the thumb with its hierarchy and absoluteness and the demand for respect along with its strict layers of showing who is#below and who is above. the ability to have power over those underneath . the participation inside of it and the already brought up yearnin#to be apart of a group and to have a title and position inside of a group and of power and even a desire like from pete to join one iirc#the index being of the cruel perpetuating cycle of pain people inflict upon one another a behavior beaten and upkept by the systems as they#drift and desire to live. which causes them to partcipate in that cycle out of necessity. cruel acts upon another in order to live and seei#a need to go ahead and do such things for if they dont they die and another will just do the same to them. social sciences talk and rolands#talks abt how the city opperates reinforce that fact. the index and prescripts are really just a show inside that extreme manner and in a#more literal sense of that. it was really cool to read it..
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i always feel like there's such an underappreciated aspect of lumpus being the one to have feelings for slinkman (over the years) which is that there's something so Hilarious about him wanting to dump his head in a vat of acid because he's thinking stupid mushy shit, or Worse, about this Thing again
who also does not pick up on this at all and just thinks he's being weird again
#camp lazlo#talk#shipping stuff#scoutmaster lumpus#slinkman#slinkman.jpg is always there for us#you love your silly little slug don't you scoutmaster lumpus...#''an underappreciated aspect'' there's only like 3 people in the world who've ever written in-depth thoughts about them in general syd#it's just so easy for me because i also see slinkman doing anything and i'm like (holding my head in my hands) wtf#My Beloved Slinkman Calms Me Down#i think about it a lot though because before i started joining in over here#slinkman being the one with the crush is what i would see like 99% of the time#but i Literally had to actually go and plot things out for lumpus to get better before i could see slinkman liking him back#and that's also why i have this Entire larger picture here#where in the grand scheme of things i'm not even really imposing on canon in that way...#i'm not really planning for tension to be at the forefront there#its some other weird shit going on. y'know. until other stuff gets revealed in the past and the future#the whole process here is like a 30-year journey we're taking the advanced course and still not ending with anything labelled#so i do get it especially with lumpus being preoccupied with jane#and yet still not for a moment have i subscribed to slinkman having feelings first ☝️
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i miss writing so fucking much 😭😭😭
#'but aly you have been writing' and there has been no fulfillment no enjoyment. writing is something where i THOROUGHLY enjoy the process#i love it!!! i love writing so much!!!!! and i love that i love it!!!!!!!!! but right now it is just. borderline a chore. and anything#i try to write just frustrates me because i KNOW i can do better than this but the words just. arent working in my brain!!!#its been at least a couple weeks now and i still have sososoSO many ideas that are just. sitting there gathering dust#that i want to write and i want to love writing but i Don't. its something im like. making myself do because i know i should#instead of something im doing because i love it and i want to#and thats exactly what i NEVER want writing to become for me. ever. i refuse to push myself into burnout or disliking it#but that means Waiting and the waiting is driving me up a fucking wall i feel gross i feel like im losing my mind and usually writing would#HELP that and yet!!!!!!! here we are#no matter what i think of no matter what i try im not enjoying it. diff fandoms povs the literal HUNDREDS of scenes i have planned out and#waiting to be written!! none of it!!!! none of it has been doing anything remotely positive for me#i cant even use it to calm down when im overthinking because all its doing rn is making me overthink More!!!#delete later#this was Not supposed to be a vent ���😭😭#im just so fucking sick of it its one of the biggest and only things that consistently makes me feel good and i miss it so much
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Ok, here's an Idea I've had:
U said you coded gravel back into the game right? Well, why not code one of lilacpaw's Siblings into the game! It would Cool to see!
(btw, this is just a suggestion!)
Coding a character in seems to me like a much more involved and complicated process that id rather not bother with at all, as opposed to literally just changing “dead: true” to “dead: false” in the games files. I really don’t wanna bother lol
#aphidasks#also I only have two characters that are the alder x Titania x pigeon kids#sometimes it’s like you guys expect me to have an entourage of other characters that I haven’t shown you yet#and I do have lots planned that you haven’t seen yet!#but never in the areas you guys ask me about#and it’s like#‘there’s nothing there. there’s only going to be vapid air there for the rest of time’#‘I’m not hiding some new surprise over there and i really don’t want to do all the work#of creating a whole ass new character and storyline around them#to fill the void you’re searching for’#new characters will come when they come man idk#I don’t have anything else to offer you guys in terms of throuple kittens#oleander and lilac are the only ones I’ve ever written and created#there’s never gonna be any others in the comic#that’s like#the one area I can confirm is a dead spot to search#that’s all speaking in general it’s not pointed at you specifically right now for this ask#all this to circle back around to the actual ask itself: even if I did want to code in a character#I literally have nothing to code in so what is the point
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Teruki blinks at him, and then he’s chuckling again and bowing his head down so he only sees the beginnings of brown roots coming in. When he lifts his head again his eyes are wet, but the pinks in his aura are soaking into his soul so much that he finds it really hard to be alarmed in the trance of it. “Please don’t apologize,” Teruki whispers, blinking away the shine that reflects the slit of sun from the window. His voice wobbles and hitches at the end, and Shigeo shifts, widens his eyes a little, but then his partner is moving. He leans over Shigeo’s chest, arches over the cracks that seep with energy carefully. Both of his hands are suddenly around his face and Teruki’s clamping his eyes shut and pressing their foreheads together, nose to nose, soul to soul. His hair tickles Shigeo’s jaw and his knee digs into his thigh, but it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t mind. The coral hues sing; the golds roar. “Please don’t. Please don’t do that to me,” his partner teeters, and the watermelon seeping into his skin is now tainted with harsher reds, deeper magentas. He can tell Teruki is trying so hard to keep it light, to keep it gentle and comforting for him—controlling an aura when emotions are high is one of the hardest things in the world. And yet he’s holding his partner, who is crackling apart at the seems in every sense of the word, and all that seeps from him is a little fear that get snuffed out instantly upon exit.
#qkwrites#hi good news#only one chapter left.i think#switched up the ending a little bit from my original plans since it wasn't working. now it works better i think#flows better at least#very excited to write the last of this but also im like unreasonably nervous ?? it's a fanfic jay get a grip#if the ending is written poorly uhm. it's literally free.who is going to complain#obviously ill do my best but fuck dude . ido not know if i have the skills for this#only one way to find out i guess#the thing i'm most worried about actually is the epilogue i think#cuz i have <3No fucking clue what's going to be in the epilogue#ill figure it out tho i have a feeling it's one of those things ill stress over and then sit down to write it#and the next thing i know it's done and it wasn't hard at all#wow ok im shutting up now. bye <3
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hmmm i thought i could have the next chapter of FoD up like. yesterday night, which obv didn’t happen and now i’m thinking tonight, but this conversation between harry & sirius just. does not want to end lmao
it’s at 4k rn, which is…a respectable amount, and i think it might reach 4.5 by the time it’s done. and then i want to have, atleast, the outline for the next chapter fleshed out before i post it just as like. buffer. hmmmm thoughts, thoughts, decisions, decisions…
#the next one is literally just sirius & harry#fully sorted#the one after that though…8c w got the golden trio convo entirely written#(which is such a miracle bc i’ve had the subheading for like. a year and never been able#to write even a word of it so fa#and now it’s done. amazing.#and in such a different direction than i would’ve expected also#i cannot wait!!!#but yeah it can’t be the only thing#there is….another scene with sirius & harry discussing remus#but idk if i want it here#it would…fit#but. just. yeah. idk#OH WAIT#oscar!!!#mans hasn’t shown up in a hot sec#and we need him to meet sirius as well#hmmmm#thinking thoughts again#and depending on how big a role i want the goblins to have#even tho i didn’t plan on having like. lordships and shit (in this fic atleast)#it would just make it more complicated and i’m already living that fantasy out thru another fic#okay putting a pause on the rambling#i think i’ve got a rough idea#potential options atleast#pen’s yapping
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I just woke up and now im having a panic attack because some overfried orange bigotted dictatorial asshole (and a bunch of red elitist capitalistic shitheads) was given too much power and now they’re starting to try and fucking axe literal safe spaces for queer people and minorities on the fucking internet as long as the base of operations are in their fucking country……..
And the thing is its just the start too…
#vent#like WHAT THE FUCK#fuck- i cant- my head is too loud right now…#i am furious and in despair and stressed#and its most definitely NOT ONLY GOING TO BE A THING THAT WILL AFFECT ***ONLY*** THE PEOPLE IN THAT COUNTRY BC FUCK#THESE SITES ARE USED GLOBALLY TOO FOR FUCK SAKE#PEOPLE NEED TO STOP BEING IGNORANT AND APATHETIC ABOUT IT JUST BECAUSE THEY THINK ITS NOT GOING OT AFFECT THEM#*BECAUSE IT IS.*#AND ITS JUST STARTING TOO…#FUCK ITS GIVING DYSTOPIAN VIBES FOR FUCK SAKE#HAVE WE NOT LEARNED?!??????#SO MANY AUTHORS HAVE WRITTEN SO MANY STORIES ABOUT IT…#AND WE HAVE LITERALLY HAD A WHOLE HISTORY TO LOOK BACK ON#DON’T FORGET.#AND WHO AM I KIDDING IT ALREADY STARTED LONG AGO. IT WAS ALWAYS THEIR PLAN ALL ALONG#AND ITS JUST GOING TO GET WORSE MOVING FORWARD!#AND WE CANT JUST STAND AND JUST *WATCH.* OR FACE THE OTHER DIRECTION.#BECAUSE ALL THIS IS EVER GOING TO LEAD IS TO EVERYONE’S SUFFERING.#except for those these shit benefits. which is basically those on top#fuckhhhhhh#DUDE IM NOT EVEN FROM THAT FUCKING COUNTRY AND ITS STRESSING ME OUT!!! LIKE FFS THESE SITES HAVE BEEN MY SAFE SPACES SINCE I WAS A KID#AND NOT JUST ME BUT FOR MANY OTHERS!!! SO MANY OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS AND ACQUAINTANCES ONLINE???! IVE MET DUE TO THESE SITES#AND NOW THERES A HUGE FUCKING CHANCE THAT ITS GOING TO BE TAKEN AWAY BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE STUPID ENOUGH TO WAVE AWAY THESE ASSHOLES’#ATROCITIES AND PUT THEM IN POWER *AGAIN* ANYWAY#the system is working as intended#and it is fucking everyone over#aster rant
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fic talk in the tags 💝
#aaaaaaaa i have only 4 stores left to write for the advent calendar and then i'm done?! 😭#i can't believe it guys i might actually be able to pull this off 👀#i've literally just winged it day after day with minimal planning#and i haven't even had a breakdown once? gonna knock on wood here real quick lol#i've had so much fun writing all these little stories too 🥺 and i'm fairly satisfied with them as well! yes!! me!! my biggest critic!!#i'm not gonna be writing anything for a while after i get these last ones done though lol i've written SO MUCH during these past weeks#however i did write down a short piece of dialogue in finnish the other day 👀#like. literally 11 words and idk if i'm ever gonna write more but those words just...came to me so i had to write them down somewhere#(it has been peer-reviewed as 'perfect' (thanks eetu <3) and you can totally slide in my DMs if you're curious)#and the college/uni au i've been playing with practically all autumn is something i definitely want to give a try#(so far i only have some random notes and moodboards 😅)#but whatever i'll end up writing i'll do it because i want to and that's what's important 🤍#thank you so much everyone who has been reading these stories or any of my fics this year#i really am not expecting anyone to read my stories and i'm happy if even just one person does 🥺#okay sappy talk over now back to writing byeeeeee#*stories
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irish au is getting way too complicated. wdym i need to come up with a plot
#usually i have every chapter written or at least planned before i start posting but this one i’m literally just making up as i go along and#it’s stressing me out#also the fact that it was only meant to be one chapter and now it’s 6 and nowhere close to done….. why did i do this
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what do i have to do to get people to read my stuff actually like im not about to get in everyones faces begging for attention but i dont understand how im expected to make FREE fandom content without much feedback on my work
#ignore my ranting but im actually so fucked disillusioned#like why are there so many people who scream about supporting each other and lifting up small creators#and they never do it themselves unless its their friend#sorry i dont sit at the popular table but i never expected that it would impact my reach this much#my newest fic has more hits but less kudos and less comments than my first#it's so obvious people only interacted on my first fic *because* it was my first fic#and thank you so fucking much to the people who have given me kind words#and literally religiously rbing my stuff because you think im worth listening to#this isn't about me crying because im not popular#people with bigger followings are naturally going to get more attention#but the only reason ive started posting my fics is because all these POPULAR BLOGS were like 'we support each other here!!!'#'were a big family were not a big fandom so any time someone posts it brings a smile to our faces!' blah blah blah#like youre out here lying for clout you literally only leave feed or kudos if its your fucking friend 😭 not even if its good#i guess id rather have less people interacting if it means the feedback i get is genuine and not just blowing smoke up my ass#but it still hurts to write a fic that flops and then write another fic thats over 3x longer than my first fic#WITH A PREMISE THAT POPULAR WRITERS HAVE WRITTEN ABOUT BEFORE AND BLEW UP FOR IT AND PEOPLE IDOLIZE THEIR WRITING#so im expecting to get more feedback and constructive criticism because it's a concept that a lot of people seem to love#only to get EVEN LESS FEEDBACK THAN ON MY FIRST FIC#like sorry to everyone who genuinely likes my writing i actually love you so much#but im very rejection sensitive and don't plan on continuing this. it seriously hurts me. it triggers my abandonment and selfhatred shit ba#like im sick to my stomach that another thing im passionate about is sucking the life out of me & i cant even get my foot in the door#donut rebagel this thanks and goodbye
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I can do it. I can write. People (me) would want to read this (me) if I wrote it (me)
#it deserves to be written#not because it's good#not because it hasn't been done before because it's literally been done before by me#not because the characters deserve it they do not#not because it's worth writing for any reason it's not#not because it would finish out an old au that i originally had so many plans for (it only leads to more plans)#but BECAUSE#I made a really funny joke#and if i finish this part and write two more i have the potential to write ANOTHER really funny joke#and then A REALLY FUNNY PUNCHLINE#and only then can i be done with this stupid shit#how could I not write this when there's a funny punchline at the end#still defective#and then i can write those other things i was partway through that don't have a punchline and deserve to be written for much better reasons
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delighted that i'm so much more fond of chuuya at this point than i was just a couple years ago. it took the stormbringer play, the cannibalism play, and the fifteen manga (still haven't gotten to those two novels in their entirety, I Will Soon I Promise), it took 6ish+ years, but i can confidently say I Get It Now. Now i just need asagiri to break him (affectionate) in the manga and actually give him a character arc already <333
#i went through my own character arc okay i have Learned#still don't really get it from the pre-light novels era but i definitely get it now#he's actually written so well in those lns it's astounding. now fr if only that could be transferred to the actual manga *sigh*#if you can't tell i'm still so pissed and betrayed by the meursault arc. on all fronts lol but chuuya was one of the worst victims ughhhh#i may be hyped about this fyodor shit rn but do not mistake that as me forgetting how angry i still am over all that anticlimactic bullshit#happy birthday chuuya you really deserve so much better </3#been thinking so much lately about what asagiri is planning for him. or if he's planning anything at all. the signs are so contradictory!!!#i know the fandom made him a huge thing from the early anime days when he probably wasn't meant to be more than an extreme side character#why? again i still don't understand (shipping. it's shipping okay; that's why i was always unfairly biased against him lmao)#but even if that's the case then he wrote the light novels that are SO GOOD so like!!!!#now there's buildup!!!! now there's expectations for him!!!!!!#you can't just never have verlaine and adam not come back in the story again at some point#in the same way that ango did from a light novel#and how oda HAS to be addressed by the end of the story#and all the lore bs in 55 minutes#just WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING WITH CHUUYA ASAGIRI. I NEED TO KNOWWWWWW#THE SIGNS ARE VERY WORRYING BUT IN A COMPELLING WAY AND I NEED THEM TO PAY OFF SO BADLY#me going literally insane lately over a character i still claim to not be one of my favorites. lmao
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good afternoon! i've made a small addition to my rules — namely, the only kazuha i will be shipping with is @momijiba. this does NOT mean i'm no longer open to interacting with other kazuhas — i would still love to plot other kinds of relationships. ( platonic. antagonistic. etc. ) i'm still open to ships with other muses. i'm just not looking to explore anything romantic with any kazuha other than milla's.
#𝟎𝟎𝟏 : 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. ◟ ooc .◝#( i'll reblog this one more time later this evening. )#( this probably comes as a surprise to no one bc i've been asked about it a few times before. )#( by default i'm not ship exclusive though i tend to only write a very small handful of ships w/ a lot of build up & planning regardless. )#( especially w/ ren because he's such a messy character i feel like we have to talk bc i'm going to be apologizing a lot for his bs )#( i've just been thinking i'm very invested in everything we've written & plotted for these two )#( they are literally soulmates they live in my brain rent free )#( & of course everyone's interpretation of a muse is different! that's one of the things that makes rp so much fun for me. )#( but i look at milla's kazuha specifically & point like ''that's ren's boyfriend do not separate them'' )
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