#literally fucked around and found out by obsessing over some dead guy for 2 months and completely neglecting my degree

[aboutyoutoo]

ughh i have my first exam on wednesday and i feel,, irredeemably stupid. like it's not a big deal, our exam questions are designed to be very vague so there isn't really a right answer and i can just flex whatever i know. but i feel like i know NOTHING. rip.

[bbyboybrock--archived]

His Secret (Colby Brock Imagine)

Summary: *REQUEST* Hi! I really loved your dark Colby fic and I was wondering if you could do another one (if requests are still open 🥺) maybe something like the reader is a YouTuber and friends with Sam and Sam knows that Colby gets kinda obsessive with girls he likes so he doesn't introduce them but one day Colby comes across one of her videos and immediately becomes obsessed with her and she ends up being quarintined in the new trap house and Sam can't really do anything to stop Colby. If you can thank you🥺

Written: 2020

Word Count: 2,111

Warnings: obsession, swearing

Masterlist

“Thanks again for letting me stay with you guys. I think if I had to be quarantined alone in my apartment, I would have lost my shit. And it’s only two weeks so I promise to be out of here as soon as quarantine is up.” I say I grab the last bag out of my car.

When news first hit that the entire country was going to shut down for two weeks, I kind of freaked. As a YouTuber, you would expect me to be okay with a few days stuck in my apartment alone. The thing is, I hate being alone so much I’m barely even at my apartment. I asked around all my friends and none of them had a spare room and didn’t feel comfortable forcing me to sleep on the couch for that long. Sam didn’t agree at first, mainly because he was moving about a week into quarantine but he called me yesterday saying I could stay with them.

It’s not that I hate being alone, it’s just that I do well with other people. The only reason why I live alone in the first place is because all of my friends already had roommates or prior living arrangements. By the time I decided to move out of my parents’ house and become a proper LA YouTuber, living alone was the only option. I spend more time at my friend’s places or relaxing in a public place. I’ve considered many times just to get some sort of pet but I can barely keep myself alive, let alone another creature.

“It’s no problem Y/N, it’s like having another roommate. Besides, we have an extra room. It wouldn’t have sat right with me if I knew you were freaking out in your apartment when you could be hanging out here.” Sam says as he helps move one of my bags.

“I love how much you get me. This is why we’re such great friends.” I close the door behind us just as Sam’s phone starts to ring.

“Oh shoot, let me get this.” Sam carefully puts my bag down and walks away to answer the phone.

I look around the house for a bit, just to see where I’m going to be living for the next two weeks. I stumble into what I think is going to be the living room. There are boxes scattered all over and a few couches. I look out the window into the backyard. I get why Sam and his roommates joked that they were moving to Hawaii, their backyard is tropical and out of place for LA. If I didn’t know any better I would have thought that I was currently in Hawaii.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” A strange voice says from behind me. I jump and nearly fall on my ass but instead I bump into someone. I turn around and meet a face that I vaguely recognize.

“Sorry, I didn’t know someone else was here. You must be Colby. I’ve heard so much about you from Sam.” I stick my hand out to properly greet Colby. Colby takes my hand and shakes it awkwardly.

“That means you must be our temporary roommate, Y/N. Sam hasn’t told me too much about you. I kind of looked you up a watched a few of your videos. Now I sound like a creep.” Colby starts to blush and nervously scratches the back of his head.

“Hey sorry about that, that was— I see that you two met already…” Sam stops dead in his tracks and looks at both Colby and me.

“Yeah, I quite literally bumped into him. Anyway, what were you saying?” I set down my bag and sit down on the counter.

“Oh yeah! That was Kat, there’s an emergency and I need to go to her place for a bit. I was going to give you a tour of the house and I know we talked about going grocery shopping together before the stores close, but we can do that when we get back.”

“Or she can stay here and I could do everything. I can show her around the house and go with her to the store. It wouldn’t be a problem.” Colby mentions. Sam looks between the two of us again, this time his eyes look concerned.

“Colby, can I talk to you in private for a second?” Colby smiles at me before following Sam into the other room. I look around the kitchen while Sam and Colby talk.

There are still boxes everywhere, but it looks pretty organized. I remember hearing about the horrors of the first trap house so who knows how long this will last. The guys moved in officially on Monday, the first day of the quarantine, but I let them spend the first two days in their new house before I came to disrupt their new lives.

“Okay, it’s set. Colby will help you out while I go help Kat at her place. I hope you don’t hate me for bailing on you right now.” Sam says as he hugs me.

“No, it’s fine. You’ve done enough helping me find a place to stay during this. Go, help your girlfriend. We’ll be here when you get back.” Sam looks at both of us suspiciously before finally leaving.

“Alright, I guess I’ll show you around the house now.” Colby grabs the bag that Sam dropped on the floor and stretches out his hand for me to take. I hesitantly take Colby’s hand and follow him through the house.

Colby and I sit in the drive-through line for Jack in the Box. We had already gone grocery shopping and decided to get something to eat to take home for lunch. The stores were packed and we barely found some of the stuff we needed. It’s like everyone is panic buying for their apocalypse shelters. We’re only going to be locked down for two weeks, I don’t get why they’re freaking out. We were in line so long that we needed to eat as soon as possible, and I don't have the energy to cook as soon as we get back.

“You know what? I’ve been friends with Sam for so long and I’ve pretty much met every single person in your friend group. It’s kind of weird that I haven’t met Sam’s other half until today.” Colby mumbles something under his breath and turns to the menu for a second.

“You like the number 2, right?” He asks.

“What? I mean, yeah I do. How did you know that?” I raise my eyebrow and stare at Colby, who is refusing to look at me.

“I guessed,” Colby rolls down his window, “Hey can I get a number 1 with a coke? And can I also get a number 2 with a Mr.Pibb, no ice, and curly fries? Oh, and stuffed jalapeño?”

“How the fuck did you get my entire order right, down to the drink and the stuffed jalapeños? Did Sam tell you or something?” I watch as Colby rolls the window back up and drives up.

“Um… this is going to sound bad. But I found your channel a few months ago and since then I’ve been a bit of a fan. You mentioned it one time in a video and I remembered it. Now you’re going to think I’m a creep and not want to stay with us anymore.” Colby ruffles his hair before reaching for his wallet. I sit quietly on the side while he pays for our food.

He did that at the store too. While we were looking for food he would just put something that I like in the cart and lead us to specific aisles that I normally go down. I guess him being a fan makes a bit of sense. I must have mentioned all that stuff in a video or live one time. I’m a creature of habit so I get the same things every time. It’s still a bit creepy, but I shouldn’t read too much into it, I’m going to be living with him for two weeks.

****

Sam and I sit in my temporary room, playing video games. I spent time with Jake, Corey, and Colby earlier but Sam could sense my social bar declining rapidly so he pulled me away. I’m sure I’ll get to know the other roommates during the two weeks I’m stuck with them for quarantine, but for now, I can only deal with them for so long. There is so much chaotic energy in this house.

“Oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask you. How was Colby earlier?” Sam asks as he passes me up in Mariokart.

“It was fine. We got everything we needed, minus the toilet paper because people are crazy. You should have told me he was a fan though, it would have made things less awkward.” Just as I’m about to red shell Sam, he pauses the game.

“What do you mean awkward? What happened?” Sam turns and locks eyes with me. His eyes droop with concern.

“I just mean, you know how fans can be. There’s a certain breed that knows just a little too much about you. It’s fine, I just wasn’t expecting it. He’s not like a creep or anything. Or at least, he didn’t try to pull anything if that’s what you’re worried about.” I turn back to the tv and press play.

I quickly red shell Sam and pull into first place. He doesn’t say anything as he drifts into second place, which normally he does. From the corner of my eye, I can see Sam biting his lip and furrowing his brows, deep in thought.

“Sam,” I sigh as I pause the game again, “if you need to tell me something, you might as well tell me now. You know, instead of weighing the outcome of telling me. What is it?” I place the remote on the floor and turn my full body to face Sam.

“Look, it’s nothing bad or really serious. It’s just… Colby.” Sam flips his hair out of his eyes and stares at me.

“What, is he some serial stalker who ends up murdering his victims?”

“No, not exactly. Wait, that sounds bad. Okay, so Colby has this… issue with getting obsessed with girls. Like in an almost creepy way. Which is why he’s single. This is starting to sound bad again. Colby has a thing for pretty girls. And you aren’t bad to look at.”

“Oh my God, Samuel you have a girlfriend.” I joke.

“Shut up, Y/N, you know what I mean. Anyway, when Colby finds a girl, he’ll get so completely wrapped up, almost like a crush but then times more intense. He’ll try to find out anything and everything he can about them. It’ll get to the point that he’ll try to get with them but then get bored because they aren’t like the person he envisioned them to be and hurt them. I knew that you had recently fallen into his radar, which is why I didn’t want you staying with us at first, but you were desperate. I’m not trying to freak you out, I’m just being honest and open. I should have told you before. I talked to him before and I guess he wasn’t paying attention.”

My breath stays stuck in my throat. I swallow hard and stare back at Sam. His blue eyes are soft like he’s afraid that I’m going to stop being friends with him because of Colby.

“He’s not going to like, jump me to anything, right?” I tuck my hair behind my ear and fix my posture.

“Of course not. He would never, but I get being worried about that after hearing everything.” Sam puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes gently.

“Well, quarantine is only going last for two weeks. I’m not going to be stuck here longer than that. So I can deal with this for now. Then I can move back to my apartment and we can go back to just the two of us hanging out.” I pat Sam’s arm that’s resting on my shoulder and smile at him.

“As long as you’re okay with it. If you up and leave anytime during the two weeks I won’t be offended.” Sam says smiling back.

“You know I hate being alone. Now let’s stop talking about this so I can’t go back to whipping your ass in Mariokart!” I quickly grab my controller and press play before Sam is ready.

“Hey, you fucking cheater!” He yells as he scrambles to get his controller.

[heloflor]

Rogue arc : A few random thoughts regarding the characters and their actions (+ other stuff)

Part 1 (an analysis of “Abducting Murphy’s Law”; you don’t need to read it to understand this post)

So, as I said in the first half, I’m going here to talk about some more stuff regarding and around the rogue arc like the apology and Dakota having issues. This post is way less organized than the previous one and is much more of a personal opinion/rant rather than an analysis. So be aware that this post is a subjective point of view that has some negative criticism at some parts. Basically, this is just me infodumping for the sake of infodumping. Though, I tried to organize it a bit with titles because I still want to do something that people want to and can read.

Like last time, here’s the tl;dr :

- While Cavendish is at fault for the argument in “Abducting Murphy’s Law”, the whole situation showed that Dakota has dependance issues due to trauma and needs to learn to back off, for his own sanity as much as for his relationship with Cav.

- The kids didn’t question why Cav was alone in a ship and waited days before nonchalantly telling Dakota about it and it pisses me off to no end.

- Compared to Doof and Perry, the reconciliation had no build up and wasn’t satisfying in the slightest.

- Neither Dakota nor Cavendish seem to have learned a thing during the arc. Also, there was a missed opportunity to see Dakota consider Doof differently because of his future status as Professor Time. Also, imagine Doof calling out Dakota on being too clingy.

(long post ahead)

1. Dakota needs to work on himself

So to start up, regarding the whole “who has to apologize to who” debate : personally, I believe that, when it comes to the events of the episode “Abducting Murphy’s Law”, Cavendish is the one to blame. He’s the one who got obsessed with finding the ship and who refused to listen to Dakota, even when Dakota wanted them to just sit down and talk things out. He’s also the one who decided to go rogue and ghost Dakota, letting the guy probably terrified for Cavendish’s safety. So in that regard, Cavendish is the one who needs to apologize.

BUT !!! On a much larger scale, the entire arc showed us that Dakota clearly has some issues. To be honest, when I started to get more into the show and started re-watching some episodes, I literally went to google “co-dependance” to see if Dakota fitted the characteristics. And while he doesn’t, there still clearly is some dependance here. And, if we end up having a new season, I genuinely wish that they could point out Dakota’s issues, though I guess the executives might consider it to be too “mature” to happen on the show. But yeah, Dakota has issues, and that’s the first point I’d like to talk about.

Given what we know in “The Island of Lost Dakotas” and that mention about a “Mississippi purchase”, whatever that is, it’s safe to assume that Dakota had been traumatized. Purchase aside, he had to witness his partner die over and over again, probably around a thousand times. And between the fall into lava with the skeleton visible, the “milk to death” (I have no idea what it means and I don’t think I want to) and whatever led to Cannibal Dakota’s existence, some of those deaths definitely seem very gruesome.

Dakota saw some shit, and there’s no way he can simply shrug it off. We clearly see how he’s still impacted by it in season 2 with how protective he is of Cavendish now that he can’t go back. This actually reminds me of how I recently decided to re-watch the small scene with Dakota and Doof in “Cast Party”, the scene when they’re at the ice-cream place. And one thing I can’t help but over-analyze is Dakota asking “Do things happen for a reason or is it just chaos ?”. When he says that, I can’t help thinking that he’s referring to Cavendish’s deaths. It’s like he was asking “Is Cavendish meant to die or is the world just fucking with me ?”.

So yeah, when Cavendish suddenly disappear, with Dakota having no idea of where he went or why, it’s no wonder that he would be so set on trying to find him. For all he knows, Cavendish is already dead. And if he’s still alive, there’s tons of things that could go wrong, and if they do, Dakota is powerless to stop it. This is probably a terrifying situation to be in.

But at the same time, Cavendish is an adult and is now aware of his deaths, so he might try to be careful. I mean, in “Lady Krillers”, when he sees the alien, he’s very quick to let Dakota protect him.

And that’s where most of the problem comes from. Dakota doesn’t seem to fully trust Cavendish to keep himself alive, which is probably not helped by the fact that, given how Dakota is constantly saving him, Cavendish probably doesn’t know his own limits and might overestimate himself.

But I think the biggest problem with this whole situation, aside from the fact that Dakota needs to lay off and understand that Cavendish is a responsible adult who needs to learn what are his limits so he can take care of himself, is the fact that the show is constantly validating Dakota. Just look at what happens in the rogue arc. When we see Cavendish alone, he constantly gets hurt by everything. And near the end of the arc, he even gets trapped inside an ice cube, left to die if nobody finds him. Thing is, by showing Cavendish suffer so much and basically die from being alone, the show is basically telling us that Dakota is right to be so worried about Cavendish, because Cavendish can’t survive alone.

Though, honestly, the show has a tendency to “demonize” Cavendish when he and Dakota are arguing. I mean, in “A Christmas Peril”, both are at fault. Cavendish for being insensitive and putting Dakota down from not understanding why Dakota feels underappreciated, and Dakota for not explaining why he feels that way (refereeing to the island) which leads him to get more and more frustrated with Cav. But, while both apologize in the end, in a kids’ point of view, Cavendish is the asshole who pushed Dakota away by showing no respect. It also doesn’t help that, up until “Time Out” in which we start to see more of his personality, Cav was kind of a giant ass during the beginning of the show; while on the other hand, Dakota is one of the most liked characters of the show.

And in the rogue arc, it’s the same problem. Cavendish is never once shown to have any regrets about his actions, he’s never seen struggling with living alone or being in the forest. And meanwhile, Dakota spends all his time sulking and looking like a kicked puppy. It’s because of stuff like that that the fandom is so split on the “who’s at fault” question and why we tend to sympathize so much with Dakota.

So to put it short, what I’m saying here is that Dakota has dependance issues due to trauma that needs to be addressed and worked on so that he can stop being worried for Cavendish 24/7, because not only is it unhealthy for their relationship, it’s also very damaging for Dakota. Seriously, just look at how much of a desperate emotional mess he is in “Escape”.

2. The kids anger me

Now, since I already mentioned it briefly, I’d like to talk with how the characters were handled in the arc, in particular in “Cavendish Unleashed”. Thing is, I already wrote a post ranting about the stuff I dislike in season 2; and in this post, I made a part about this episode. So instead of copy-pasting it, here’s a brief summary of what I say in this post :

- Basically, the ending of “Cavendish Unleashed” angers me everytime I see it because the kids just go away without asking any questions, nevermind the fact that that Cavendish has been missing for days and that Dakota is desperate to find him. And the worst is that, not only do they not ask Cavendish about Dakota looking for him, but they also don’t tell Dakota that they saw Cavendish. They just wait for like a week or two before being like “Oh by the way, we found an UFO the other day and Cav was there” (seriously, there are SO nonchalant when they tell him Cav was in the ship with them). And it’s not like they didn’t know Cavendish was missing ! In escape, the way Dakota tells them that he has to find an UFO makes it seem like they knew for a while.

- Another thing is that, as I said earlier, we never see Cavendish feel bad about his actions, and that dialogue with the kids would have been the perfect opportunity for such a moment.

- Finally, there’s the fact that, in the last episode of season 2, Cavendish starts talking about being the hero of Octalia, making it seem like he didn’t learn a thing from the experience, despite having all the time of the world for it when he was stuck into the ice.

So yeah, that’s pretty much the stuff I ranted about. One last thing that I could add regarding the arc not being handled well is how stupid Dakota was on the whole “finding Cavendish” situation. I mean, hasn’t he tried looking into the forest ? Seriously, the ship is like a mile away from the town. If the kids going near it on bike and Cavendish leading people to it is any indication, this isn’t that much of a walk. So why didn’t Dakota try to look for him here ? Honestly the only explanation I found (and put in a fic) is the idea of Dakota thinking that Cav could never survive alone in the forest, so he’s terrified of what he would find if he were to look for him there. But other than that, unless the ship is really well hidden (it’s not), I don’t really see why Dakota didn’t find it earlier. Or is it because he was too busy stress-eating and hanging out with Doof to go there ?

And speaking of Doof, why didn’t he try using an inator to find Cavendish ? I mean, it worked for Milo in “Abducting Murphy’s Law”, and in “Escape”, we learn that Cavendish’ DNA can be found in his and Dakota’s apartment. So why not making an inator to find him ? Why waiting around for like a month before finally resolving to science ?

3. The reconciliation

Thirdly, I’d like to talk in this post about the reconciliation between Cavendish and Dakota and how fast-pasted it was, especially in comparison to Doof and Perry (this part is actually the main reason why this post exists to begin with). For this part, I’m going to talk about each part of the argument and reconciliation and compare both stories.

First off, the argument to begin with. In Doof’s case, he’s the one who got hurt by Perry and decided to “break up”. Perry messed up, understood that he messed up, and Doof needed time to accept Perry again. So both parties knew who did what and understood that Doof was angry and needed time. Also, we follow Doof, the one who was hurt but who also called the relationship off.

But in Cavendish and Dakota’s case, Cavendish is the one who messed up but also the one who called the relationship off. And unlike Doof and Perry, Dakota has no idea of what happened since Cav erased his memory to prevent Dakota from following him. From one second to the next, Dakota found himself alone, having no idea where Cavendish was, no idea why Cavendish left, no idea what he did to push Cavendish away and with his last memory of Cavendish being the argument in the armory (from what we see in “Managing Murphy’s Law”, the memory eraser only makes you forget the last 10-15 minutes or so at what I guess is the first use in one day). And honestly, thinking back at the reconciliation, it seems to be what angered Dakota the most. It’s not that Cavendish left, it’s that Cavendish ghosted him after making him forget the reason why. So from the get-go, Dakota is in a worse situation than Doof, meaning that his situation could require some more work. And do we get that work ? Nope !

Secondly, the regrets from the “guilty party”. For Perry, you have the card that he sends a few episodes later. This shows that he feels truly bad for what he did and is willing to make things right if Doof wants to. But when the card is sent, Doof still needs time to himself. As for Cavendish, like I said earlier, he doesn’t once show any regret for ghosting Dakota. Worse, when he finally reunites with him, he doesn’t bring up the issue, though it is a delicate situation with Milo being kidnapped and, like I said in my first post, it does seem like Cavendish intended to come back at some point. Still, that last part is something that Dakota didn’t know. And speaking of Dakota, he spends the entire time being miserable, which only makes Cavendish look worse with how he doesn’t question himself once. And speaking of which…

Thirdly, there’s how the “got hurt” party handles their emotion, aka how they feel throughout the whole arc. For Doof, he starts off very bitter and salty at Perry. But as the episodes progress and as he starts to hang out with Dakota, he kinds of forget about Perry. It’s like he’s busying himself by trying to help Dakota, making him get over it pretty easily by not thinking much about it. And by the end of the arc, he seems to have gotten over it. He wasn’t really bitter about it anymore and all that was left was the talk with Perry to set things right.

But with Dakota, he only gets worse as time goes by. Though, looking at “Cast Party” and “First Impressions”, he seems pretty fine. But then you look at “Look at This Ship” and “Escaped” and you’ll notice that he went from having no patience and being pretty sad in the first episode to being an absolute mess in the second. Again, Dakota depends on Cavendish and needs to be assured that the guy is doing fine, so the whole situation makes him unable to function properly. So while Doof progressively gets better by getting his mind on something else, Dakota can’t stop thinking about Cav and only gets progressively worse.

And finally, there’s the reconciliation, the culmination of all this time spent sulking and hanging out. Again, for Doof and Perry, the resolution is done well. We’ve seen Perry feel bad for what he did, we’ve seen Doof get a hold of his emotions over time. And when Doof confronts Perry, we see that both of them are genuinely regretful of what happened. And then there’s the paycheck. Doof’s argument against Perry was that Perry only cares for him because it’s his job to do so. So by showing the paycheck, Perry answer to what Doof was bothered by. He showed Doof that no, it’s not about the money, and that he genuinely cares about the guy for who he is and wants to help him doing good, another thing that Doof was bothered with regarding Perry not being there to support him for it.

This works. You have a good setting to begin with, you have time given to the dialogue and the reconciliation, and the reconciliation is given with Perry reassuring Doof on the exact points the guy was worried about. It’s good stuff ! It’s great ! It’s well-written and developed !

And then there’s Cavendish and Dakota. Not only do they have very little time to make up, they also don’t really talk about what happened. Dakota is angry about being ghosted, Cavendish tries to justify himself by saying that he was trying to protect Dakota (he wasn’t but it’s easier for his conscience to tell himself he did) and then Dakota looks sad and Cavendish apologizes. Seriously, that’s all there is to it. Dakota makes a sad face and it makes Cavendish feel bad so he apologizes. And Dakota just accepts the small apology, as if he didn’t spend the last few hours having a breakdown over Cavendish being gone. Though, I tend to see him accept the apology fast because of the relief of the moment.

But still, when Cavendish says “Can we talk about this later ?”, I sure hope they do ! Because that half-assed moment is nowhere near enough to break down all the things these two need to talk about. And besides, such a short apology could have worked, but only if the apology was brought up in a good way like it did with Doof and Perry. But again, it didn’t. It was brought up with Cavendish never thinking about Dakota and Dakota only getting more and more sad as time went by. So it doesn’t work.

And even the hug at the end doesn’t work. Yeah it’s cute but these two have hugged several times in the past and these other hugs are much cuter and more significant. I mean, toddler Dakota hugging Cavendish, showing that part of him still remember the guy ? Adorable. Two Dakotas on the island hugging Cavendish for the first time in possibly years while all the other Dakotas are trying to talk at the same time in the hopes of getting to be heard by Cavendish, with also one singing and one having a tattoo of Cav’s hat ? The cutest and most heartbreaking thing in the show. Dakota stuffing the memory eraser thing and Cavendish hugging him in joy to congratulate him ? An extremely underrated moment. So yeah, in my opinion, these hugs give more emotions than the one in “Milo in Space”, because the heart is much more there.

So to conclude on this, Dakota and Cavendish’s reconciliation is pretty bad because it sets up for a big resolution but only takes a few seconds to happen. And, related to the wish to have the show talk about Dakota’s issues, if we get a season 3, I wish they’d at least mention that these two need to talk about the whole thing.

4. Things I wished they had added in this arc

Finally, I’d like to mention a few things that, in my opinion, could have been great to see in the arc. This part is entirely personal opinions (though most of this post is tbh).

First off, obviously, you have the stuff I mentioned before, aka addressing Dakota being dependent, a longer reconciliation or, as Cavendish says, the promise of a talk later, and the kids not being idiots who didn’t ask a single question at the end of “Cavendish Unleashed” and never told Dakota. And regarding the kids, I actually don’t mind them not telling Dakota, but at least give an explanation as to why they didn’t instead of being like “oh yeah we forgot to tell you this” ! Like, maybe Cav asked them to remain silent or something.

Secondly, I wish Cavendish had learned a few things from the experience. As I said, in the last episode, the way he talks make it seem like he didn’t learn shit. And it’s annoying. Why didn’t he learn that running for fame like that was a terrible idea ? Or that it was better to work with others than alone ? Or that, instead of running after a fortune that he may never have, he could remember that there are people already in his life who like him for who he is instead of what his heroic actions are, who care for him and would give anything to be with him ? Also, we definitely needed moments in which he struggled to live outside and alone, and moments in which he was doubting and missing what he left.

And, about characters learning stuff, it would also be interesting to have Dakota realize and accept that Cavendish managed to survive alone in the forest for like a month. In other words, Dakota could use what happened as a “base” to try convincing himself to back off, like if he gets too worried, he could try remembering that Cavendish survived this to calm himself down.

Thirdly, I wished the interactions with Dakota and Doof were more than just eating and talking about Cavendish there and there. I mean, Doof is Professor Time, someone Dakota idolizes, even if not as much as Cavendish does. So why didn’t they talk about this at some point ? And tbh, I also would’ve liked maybe a dialogue or two between Doof and Cavendish regarding Professor Time (though this doesn’t have to do with the rogue arc). Also, I said it earlier, but why didn’t Doof helped with an inator before the clone one ? Couldn’t they give an explanation for that ? And even something such as “when I make any inators OWCA sends Perry and I don’t want to see him” could have been enough of an explanation.

One last thing that I would have wished to see with Doof is him trying to call Dakota out for being such a mess because one guy he cares for wants some space. I actually wanted to write a oneshot about Doof seeing Dakota feeling moody while at his “apartment” and Doof using his own experience as a husband to tell Dakota to get his shit together and give the man his space or else his relationship would fall very quickly.

And yes I know Cavendish and Dakota aren’t married in the show and Doof doesn’t have much friends. But Doof is a guy that values good communication, as we see with how he rambles all the time, how he listens to Vanessa’s advices and is there when she needs an ear (in “Minor Monogram” she very quickly opens up to him at the beginning of the episode; and in general, she isn’t afraid to speak her mind to him and he listens) and, as far as we know, he and Charlene never had their divorce because of communication issues. Also he’s learning to speak platypus, most likely so that Perry can communicate with him better.

So yeah, if anybody could give Dakota a pep talk about why Cavendish might need space and how the two need to talk things out, it’s Doof. Hell, Doof is the one who’s mad at Perry and needs time and space away from him, so he understands what needing space is.

And about this oneshot, for those interested : I changed the idea and it’s going to be a talk between Dakota and Cavendish instead.

  So here’s the end of these two parts about the rogue arc ! These posts were way much longer than I anticipated but hey, a rambling is a rambling. And yeah, these posts are just me needing to infodump on random stuff nobody cares about. But given how nobody I know irl cares about children cartoons or have a good enough level in English to understand my stuff, I need to infodump somehow. So you’re the ones who have to bear with me ! 😉

Thanks for reading !

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Forget Me Not (Part 2)

Summary: One day Dean seems to remember the reader which gives her hope about maybe getting him back home. But something isn’t sitting right with the reader when she looks into his medication...

Part 1

Pairing: AU!Dean x reader

Word Count: 2,900ish

Warnings: mentions of past abuse, mentions of death

______

“Hi Dean,” you said, taking a seat across from him at lunch. He glanced at you, staring at your visitors badge.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said. You froze in place, Dean going back to shoveling some ravioli in his mouth. 

“You know my name?” you asked.

“I remember my girlfriend’s name,” he said with a smile. “Although I suppose we aren’t dating anymore.”

“Dean, what-“

“I sort of unsnapped this morning. I was watching freaking Lassie with the goldfish guy and the chick with that wears the pink bucket on her head and I was just like what the fuck am I doing in here? Sammy didn’t want this for me. I got issues but shit, you come see me every single day and...I remember those conversations now. I’m tired of being scared and I want to be attached to people. Being alone sucks,” he said.

“Let’s talk to the doctor after lunch and see if we can work on getting you out of here.”

“So he’s an involuntary patient now is what you’re saying,” you said, crossing your arms in the doctor’s office.

“He had a mental snap. That’s not something to be taken lightly,” he said.

“I have been coming here every single day for months. I was stuck here for two months if you remember, Dr. Devon. I know what crazy is. Dean is not crazy. He was scared and now he’s decided he’s not going to be so what’s the problem with taking him home?” you said.

“Sane people don’t have mental snaps,” he said. 

“Can I take him out for an hour or two at least?” you asked.

“No. It’s too much for him and I don’t want him to have a reliance on you,” he said.

“Reliance? Sorry I’m not like all these other poor people’s families and don’t come visit them. I’m quite literally the only person he’s got left and I’m not leaving him behind.”

“Are you sure you don’t have an unhealthy obsession with-“

“I’m in love with him. You should try it sometime. Might fill that pit in your chest,” you shot back, slamming the door on the way out.

“Hi,” said Dean the next day. You forced a smile on your face, Dean shaking his head. “Don’t pretend to be happy just for me.”

“They won’t let you leave on account of what happened,” you said.

“I figured. I may have snuck back and took a look at my chart.”

“Always the troublemaker,” you said, rubbing your hand through his hair.

“Apparently I’m nuts. I do have a favor to ask though,” he said.

“Sure.”

“Sam’s birthday was last week. Can you get some flowers or something and put them by wherever he wound up?”

“Yeah,” you said. “I can do that. You got your days all settled again?”

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “Y/N...I don’t think they’re ever going to be letting me out of this place. I don’t want you to be stuck to me. You don’t...you don’t have to stay.”

“Wow. That might just be the craziest thing you have ever said to me,” you said, Dean rolling his eyes. “Uh uh. Sorry but you’re stuck with me.”

“But why? I’m like the world’s worst boyfriend,” he said.

“I had the world’s worst boyfriend. The abusive one I killed, remember? You got scared Dean. Sam was...he didn’t look like Sam after he died and you had to see that from what they said and were trapped in that car with him for close to an hour. That was your worst nightmare and you were forced to live through it. I’m so sorry you had to see that baby and that you lost Sam that night. I am. But you’re allowed to get scared over it.”

“I didn’t get scared, Y/N. I had a mental breakdown,” he said.

“Well I had one too when I shot that asshole that used to hurt me,” you said. “I’m not abandoning you Dean. You saved me from this place and I’m gonna save you from it too.”

“Pill time Mr. Winchester,” said a nurse, setting down two paper cups in front of Dean.

“We’re having a conversation,” you said.

“Just forget it. I don’t want to get in trouble with nurse Rachet,” said Dean, tossing them back.

“Funny. I’ve never heard that one before,” she said, rolling her eyes as she walked away.

“Do you even know what those pills are for?” you asked.

“They make me sleepy and zone out I suppose,” said Dean, scratching his head. “They always gave them to me here.”

“Even when you were voluntary?” you asked. He nodded, licking his lips.

“Always makes me thirsty,” he said.

“They didn’t give me anything when I came here and I was definitely involuntary,” you said.

“Maybe they always knew I was nuts,” he said.

“Did Sam know they gave you pills?” you asked.

“No...what are you thinking while I’m still coherent enough for this conversation,” he said.

“I don’t know...I...honestly I always thought it was strange how you reacted after the accident. I mean, you did so well after you left and moved in with Sam. I know you were scared at first but a week later you were perfectly okay,” you said.

“What are you saying?” he asked.

“What meds are they giving you?” you asked. 

“Uh, I’m not gonna be able to pronounce it,” he said. 

“Take my phone and go snap a picture of your file,” you said, handing it over under the table. “I’m gonna get the nurse to leave the station.”

“How?” he said.

“By acting like a dumbass,” you said, knocking Dean’s cup off the table. You stood up and stood in the liquid, making a show of slipping and falling to the ground. You shut your eyes, some feet moving around and you played dumb, peeling open your eyes to catch Dean pop out of the nurses station. “Sorry. I’m a klutz.”

You gave Dean a hug goodbye after you got to your feet, your phone getting slid back in your pocket.

“Be safe in here, Dean,” you said.

“Be safe out there,” he said quietly. 

“Do me a favor and throw up that medicine if you get the chance,” you said.

“No complaints from me.”

“Those motherfuckers,” you said that night, running your hands over your face as you looked at your computer. The medicine Dean was on was great for people with severe mental problems like psychosis or those that couldn’t differentiate reality from fantasy or hallucinations. When given to a perfectly normal person though, it fucked them up pretty good.

Dean hit every single one of the side effects. Memory loss, mood changes, depression, anxiety, exaggerated fears. In small doses like he’d gotten during his first stay, it probably fed into his anxiety which turned into fear which probably kept him there. In a larger dose though, it would have caused him to forget about you, the accident, Sam.

“Why are they drugging you, baby,” you said to yourself, tucking your knees into your chest. “Why would they want to keep you there…”

You sighed and pursed your lips, trying to think of why Dean went in the first place. He’d always said it’d been voluntary but maybe he’d been drugged before hand and…

“That’s crazy,” you groaned. You stood and went back to your kitchen, pouring yourself a glass of water. There was a knock on your back slider door and you jumped. Grabbing a knife you looked over at it, your hand immediately dropping it. Quickly you went over and opened it, shutting it after a moment while your glass of water was gulped down.

By Sam fucking Winchester.

“Thanks,” breathed Sam, filling it up again before he slid down the cabinets and started to drink.

“Are you a zombie,” you said, looking him up and down. He stared at you and rolled his eyes. “You don’t look like a zombie.”

“I’m not dead, Y/N. I never was,” said Sam, closing his eyes. “I got fucking kidnapped.”

“What?”

“I’m a lawyer. I apparently won a case I shouldn’t have and now my life is a living hell,” said Sam, crawling over to your fridge. He opened it up and looked around, stealing a sandwich from the shelf.

“Are you okay?” you asked.

“Oh, I’ve had a hell of a time the past few months,” he said. “Listen, about Dean-”

“He’s being drugged to make him a bit on edge or occasionally crazy. Yeah, figured that one out today,” you said. Sam nodded and took a bite of his food.

“The car accident wasn’t an accident. Someone hit us and they shoved a big ass needle in his arm and then I think when he woke up, he got fed a story that he believed because of whatever they gave him. We, and by we I mean you, need to get him out of there,” said Sam.

“He’s involuntary. I’ve tried,” you said.

“Is it that bastard Devon? I’m pretty sure he works for these people,” said Sam.

“Okay but why would someone drug Dean before they kidnapped you?” you asked.

“Dean has never been the most emotionally healthy person. I won’t pretend that but he’s never been nuts a day in his life. He went out with this guy’s daughter. The next day, he admits himself to that hospital. She drugged him. She drugged him and got him in there where Devon could keep feeding him meds. Then you encouraged him to leave and he did. He couldn’t force Dean to stay since he wasn’t any danger. It was all part of a long con I found out. This way, once they kidnapped me again, Dean would go back in and I was told very clearly that they can get in but he can’t get out.”

“They were holding him captive without anyone besides Devon even realizing,” you said, putting your hands on your head. “Shit Sam.”

“I know. The drugs probably help keep up the illusion. But Dean’s starting to get used to the meds which is why they finally let me out,” he said. “Now that I am properly incentivized, I’ll do what they say.”

“What exactly are you going to do? This guy’s already in jail, isn’t he?”

“I’m going to take the fall and say I planted evidence and I did it. I didn’t die, I ran to protect myself. If I don’t, Dean gets a big dose tomorrow morning, one that will either kill him or...turn him to mush. I don’t know but it is my fault he is trapped in there and it’s my fault he’s felt like shit for so long and he didn’t deserve any of it. I need your help, Y/N. Please.”

“It’s not your fault Sam and you’re not going to do what they said. We’re going to get Dean out and get these guys,” you said.

“Y/N, there’s no way. I just...I need you to look after Dean for me after I’m gone. Please,” he said.

“Do it yourself. We’re getting him out. Tonight.”

“How? It’s-”

“Sam. You seem to have forgotten that the last guy that hurt me, I killed him. Whoever these people are, they hurt me and my boys. I am sure you’re a whole lotta jacked up and hiding it right now which is fine but we’ll deal with it later. These people got a weak spot. You just aren’t seeing it.”

“What’s that?”

“He has a daughter, Sam.”

“Hello, Helena,” you said with a smile a few hours later. She narrowed her eyes at you from where Sam held her back in the middle of her bedroom. 

“Do you have any idea who my father-”

“Crime boss. Yes, we know who your father is,” you said. “Yes, I’m sure he’s going to kill us and blah blah. I am more interested in knowing if you care about what you’ve done on behalf of your father.”

“What wouldn’t a daughter do for her father?” she smirked.

“Don’t make it creepy. I’m talking about Dean Winchester. You drugged him last year, got him to admit himself to the institute down the road,” you said.

“So?”

“Well, your family has been feeding him drugs that aren’t too friendly with those not suffering from certain conditions. I was simply wondering if you’d like to experience what Dean’s been dealing with,” you said. You reached into your jacket pocket and pulled out a small case, unzipping it to reveal a capped syringe.

“You’re nuts,” she said, squirming against Sam.

“No, but you’re about to be,” you said, taking off the top. “Which arm? I’ll let you pick.”

“I didn’t drug him!”

“Yeah you did,” you said, flicking the syringe.

“Okay, I did at the bar but dad just said the guy owed money. He didn’t say…” she said, staring at you. “That’s saline, isn’t it.”

“Yes, it is,” you said, putting it back in the case. “I did not figure you for an asshole Helena and the torturing type. But that’s what your father did. He hurt my boyfriend. He hurt my friend right there behind you. They weren’t bad people. My friend did his job as a lawyer and that is all.”

Sam released her and she shrugged him off, taking a deep breath.

“I’m not asking you to turn on your father or your family,” you said, her gaze wandering over to yours. “I’m not even going to threaten you. I just want you to tell me how to get your dad to back off.”

“If he’s a lawyer I’m guessing you put away one of dad’s guys,” she said, looking at Sam. “That must make you Mr. Winchester. You put away Burt, dad’s second in command.”

“Yes, I did. He killed a young woman,” said Sam.

“I know. She was my friend. Who do you think the anonymous tip came from,” she said. 

“Then help us, Helena,” you said. “Help your friend. Don’t let him get out.”

“...What do you need me to do.”

Two Days Later

“Hey, Dean,” you said, popping into his hospital room to find him fast asleep in his bed, his detox bag going through him still. Sam was in the other bed, a few injuries wrapped up as he took a nap. 

“Y/N,” said Dr. Martin, waving you out to the hall. 

“The boys doing better today? I wanted to see if I could bring them lunch by,” you said.

“Sam’s injuries are healing. Dean’s system is nearly flushed of any traces of the drugs. Physically, they’re both doing well. Mentally, I’m going to recommend some individual and family therapy for everyone,” he said.

“Probably not a bad idea,” you said, smiling as you glanced in the room. “How are they really?”

“Sam is experiencing what we’d expect him to. Dean, I don’t suspect there will be any long lasting effects but the next week is going to be rough for him, the both of them,” he said. “I would just be gentle with them both for now and encourage them to talk but don’t push.”

“Thank you,” you said. You ducked into their room and took a seat in a chair, kicking up your feet with a sigh. “You’ll be alright boys.”

“I’m home,” you said a few days later, carrying a mountain of groceries under your arms. “Boys!”

You heard nothing and carried the bags into the kitchen, smirking when you looked out the back window and saw them each laying on one of your patio chairs.

“How are you two doing?” you asked, ruffling Dean’s head. 

“Enjoying freedom,” said Sam, stretching out in his seat. “I’ll grab the rest of the groceries. You’ve been going like crazy the past few days, Y/N.”

“Thanks, Sam. I picked up some stuff for burgers later, figured maybe we could grill,” you said. “I got ground turkey for you.”

“Sounds great,” said Sam. He popped inside and you ran your fingers through Dean’s hair.

“Feeling more with it today?” you asked.

“Yeah. More of those gaps are filling in. Thanks for getting me out of there,” he said.

“You never needed to be there,” you said. He reached up and grabbed your hand, smiling as he looked up at you. 

“Please don’t ever do anything like that again though. You could have wound up hurt or worse,” he said.

“I can hold my own,” you said. “I love you, De.”

“I love you,” he said, reaching up and pulling your face down to his. “Thanks for not giving up on me, sweetheart.”

“Never, Dean.”

______

[mhaccunoval]

i finallyyyy finished the explanations for my tlb playlistttt so come get yall juice

if you haven’t already seen my first (official) post about this silly little playlist then you are still in luck !!! here is the spotify and the youtube links !!! oh yeah also all of the songs are in chronological order (maybe not by month but definitely by year) because i had to be organized like that sbjhshsjbs

———

❥ title

i mean. there isn’t much to explain about it but sbjshbsjhs it’s based on sam’s line “you’re a creature of the night, michael!” of course but i made it plural because this playlist is sort of a. general boys / movie playlist, if that makes sense??? but yeahhhh they’re all littol creechers who love the night >:o]

———

❥ paint it, black — the rolling stones

so !!! i was kind of trying to relate it to the boys vampirism and. love of black clothes sbhsjbshjs but no. similar to the title, they. literally live in darkness because of not being able to go into the sun and because of the few lights in the lair but there’s also a sort of duality where being vampires in an internal darkness??? like. each of the boys takes heavy advantage of the benefits of being undead but i can’t imagine it’s without its faults outside of the lack of sunlight and such. i’m sure there’s a kind of uh. monster complex that follows it, especially with the way outsiders view them, which certainly fits with the song’s vibe of being washed with this sort of sensory overload to color and earning weird looks for it

———

❥ riders on the storm — the doors

first of all, there’s a giant ass jim morrison poster in the lair therefore the boys definitely listen to the doors (if not idolize jim) so jot that down. but also !!! it has very Them vibes !!! i think the storm effects definitely relate to boys in how storms create a darkness that is soothing in its own way, and comes on strong, just like the boys’ presence. and. technically they Are killers on the road that Will kill a sweet family sbhjsbshjsb but no most of all the !!! “into this house we’re born // into this world we’re thrown” and !!! the found family that the boys have going. like, if you look at. vampirism as the house they have LITERALLY been born into it and been thrown into a whole new world, depending on each other for comfort and pleasure !!! oh also. they ride motorcycles so they’re also literal riders sbhjsbshjs (fun fact, according to genius lyrics: apparently it was the last song jim recorded before he died a few weeks later 😳)

———

❥ love her madly — the doors

whole jim morrison poster and listening to the doors reasoning is sustained. HOWEVER for the rest of reasoning… perhaps it’s more straight up 95060 than anything but sbhsjbsshj the whole woman walking in and out of the audience’s life is very symbolic of michael being in and out with the boys, never really deciding whether he wants to fully join them and straining. all of his relationships with that indecision and sitting on the picket fence (those who sit on the picket fence are impaled by it). although, it could also be partly symbolic of that indecision, as he does find Some charm in the boys’ lifestyle and keeps finding himself drawn back enough to even consider partaking in it. also, if you wanna go the parko route, paul loves marko madly enough to go after the frog bros personally for killing him <3

———

❥ walk this way — aerosmith

i am. blanking on how to tie it in other than being on the movie’s soundtrack (yes i avoided it and people are strange until the very end of making the playlist, but one of the evils got me clearly— have always ADORED people are strange though). but. i guess you can make the case that the song is full of innuendos and some scenes, like the feeding scene, are lowkey horny sbsjhbshjsbs and YES it’s the aerosmith version instead of the run dmc one because. i prefer this one and it’s my silly little playlist <3

———

❥ the boys are back in town — thin lizzy

technically the boys never Left town but !!! *christopher walken voice* Boys !!! them cast ARE crazy and they’re ALWAYS dressed to kill, ready to spill some blood and pick a fight !!! yeah no it’s just a very fun song that i think really works to. represent their crazy lifestyle and infamy around town due to causing trouble !!! and you can almost say that in this scenario star is the girl who used to dance a lot and slapped the shit out of someone <3 just girlboss moments <3

———

❥ xanadu — rush

hehehe… this started as the. desire to add more rush to the playlist for my own amusement but the more times i listen to it, the more i’m like “!!! it actually fits”… like. xanadu here is meant to a sort of utopia that’s long searched for, partly BECAUSE of the promise of immortality which !!! the boys have (unless. harmed in one of the ways at the end of the movie) because of their vampirism. like even if we don’t know the exact reasons they got turned, they all still, mostly indirectly probably, sought out that same principle. And the dining on honeydew and drinking the milk of ‘paradise’ is similar to their thrill-seeking tendencies and general enjoyment of being unable to die, leaving them to enjoy their undead lives to the fullest. not to mention, in [b part 2] (as genius refers to it) there’s talk of many, many years passing and waiting for the world to end, which we know there’s been quite a few years in between the boys getting turned and the movie, as well as i’m sure they sit back and wait on Some apocalypse, if not just to watch the world burn. in writing this, i’ve ALSO realized how it can be considered very Michael; he didn’t exactly seek this life out but he found it and indulged, only to be that “mad immortal man” towards the end of the song

———

❥ runnin’ with the devil — van halen

i just van halen is neat sbjshbsjsh and would definitely be something the boys would actually listen to hsjbshjsb i don’t Necessarily think vampires are in any way tied to the devil but. here it’d be more like a metaphor of “taking a walk on the wild side” if you wanna call it that; also, they all truly live their lives like there’s no tomorrow (not that they have to worry about death until the very end), have stolen a lot of things just to get by (probably in life AND death), don’t bode well with the ‘simple’ life (likely including the idea of a nuclear family like max proposed) because of it’s lack of pleasures, and don’t exactly have any “love [that] you’d call real” unless you read into the subtext 

———

❥ hot blooded — foreigner

originally this was going to be another joke about the. lowkey horniness of the boys and the movie as a whole but i’ve realized in writing these explanations thus far and rereading the lyrics that it’s. it’s just michael-centric sbshjsbsh sam is “at the mercy of his sex glands” and so is the audience of both the movie and the song sbhsjbshsj like. michael finds himself attracted to star immediately and tries for two secret rendezvouses, with only one working, and. can be said that he also finds a fever running within him when he’s around david and the boys sbhjsbshjs i just 🙈

———

❥ renegade — styx

renegade is my favorite styx song so i just said “fuck it” and added it sbshjsbshj but !!! you can say that, again, the boys live their lives on the wild side and. probably commit enough crimes to warrant dozens of sentences, some that would lead to death row (like, ya know, the. manslaughter) but they manage to get away unscathed. And the law man serving as an allegory to all of the people, including the frogs and grandpa, that want them dead for being vampires, with the bounty to be rewarded being the ridding of their trouble from santa carla

———

❥ big shot — billy joel

mikey :o) … ok yeah he isn’t the. silver spoon in hand (nose) type but he’s LITERALLY the type to open his mouth and get himself deep in enough shit that a fight breaks out, potentially bloodied his eyes, nose, and/or fists. i don’t have much of an explanation outside of he is a himbo jock who pulled a “i didn’t know how to talk to my crush so i wrote a note telling them to get out of my school” except he said it with his fist instead of his mouth sbjshbshsj

———

❥ boys don’t cry — the cure

pretty sure this is one of the ones i stole off of shovel (@/iswearimavamp) sbshjbshjs but i do love this song in a general sense too. in regards to the movie, like. none of the guys. obsess over masculinity or anything— and both david AND michael cry at different points— so that’s not necessarily an issue. but, there *is* still a lot of hurt and stepping on toes in many of the relationships in the film that can be stretched to fit, i would think sbjhsbshjs

———

❥ highway to hell — ac/dc

this and back in black were some of the last two i put on here because i. wanted to make an ‘even’ 35 sbsjhsbshjs BUT, like with runnin’ with the devil, it’s about a devilish lack of care for one’s own life or the “status of their soul” and just doing what feels right or like the most fun, no matter if it lands them in hell or not. and !!! “my friends are gonna be there too” fits with the friendship within the boys’ found family and how they’ll all always be together, no matter what !!!

———

❥ back in black — ac/dc 

i can’t really think of an explanation that differs from highway to hell so just reread the above sbsjhsbsh

———

❥ witch hunt — rush

OK !!! this is the song i’m the MOST excited to explain !!! right off the bat, moving pictures as a whole is an IMMACULATE album, absolutely love it. right so !!! this song literally SOUNDS like it belongs on the movie soundtrack; it has the same overtones and sounds as cry little sister and it’s just !!! and with the title, a witch hunt is BASICALLY what sam + the frogs went on in search of the lose boys, relying on little else but hearsay and catching glimpses at what was happening to michael, “confident that their ways are best” and moving along like a mob of three to get to the bottom of it. “features distorted in the flickering light // faces are twisted and grotesque” is very reminiscent of the faces the lost boys pull when they’re about to attack, and “they say there are strangers who threaten us” is symbolic of them being outsiders/outcasts that make everyone uncomfortable, even if You aren’t going to be their next victim. “the righteous rise with burning eyes” AND “quick to judge, quick to anger // slow to understand // ignorance and prejudice // and fear walk hand in hand” can apply to any number of characters, particularly the mains who are all pitted against each other, the humans fighting for their lives and the vampires fighting for their Right to live, neither taking into consideration the other’s perspective. i just… ADORE this song…

———

❥ red barchetta — rush 

this one was mainly just because of the car that grandpa keeps in the barn and both sam and michael’s fascination with it sbhjsbsshj and just to get more rush on here shjsbshjsbsh

———

❥ maneater — hall & oates

one of the first songs to hit the playlist !!! because the boys eat people !!! they’re the lean and hungry type that only come out at night !!! they’ll be sitting with you but their eyes are on the door and if you want love from them, you won’t get very far !!! the beauty IS there but there are beasts inside that can rip your world apart !!! they’ll chew you up but also leave you begging for more :o)

———

❥ hungry like the wolf — duran duran

the second song to have gone on the playlist !!! the boys are always on the prowl for fresh meat (in both the food AND turning senses) and they come alive while on the hunt, blood no doubt rushing through their veins (assuming it still can) !!! and in the movie, michael is the one they’re after for the turning connotation, all wanting a taste of him for themselves !!!

———

❥ subdivisions — rush

this rush song actually went on before the others shbsjsbshj but !!! it still fits just as well (certainly better than red barchetta)… the movie all takes place on the fringes of the city, “in between the bright lights // and the far unlit unknown”, and while it’s not exactly in the suburbs, there’s still little comfort to soothe the restless dreams of youth. there IS a drawing like moths into the city, for both the emersons and the lost boys, which is what ends up bringing all of them together, although it starts are cruising for action just to feel the living night. and just !!! NOBODY fits in !!! if you take the movie title as them being Lost instead of an allusion to peter pan, then you get slapped with thinking about what actually makes them lost and how they don’t conform in any way, shape, or form to just about. anything. and !!! the emersons are new, which immediately puts them at a social disadvantage, but they Also don’t seem too terribly great at making new friends in general so !!! “nowhere is the dreamer or the misfit so alone”!!! 

———

❥ abracadabra — steve miller band 

i just love this song for whatever reason. and i think the allusion to magic to very fitting for the hallucinations that david gives michael, putting a sort of magic spell on him if you want to look at it that way. not a lot of silk and satin going gone but plenty of leather and probably some lace in there somewhere ( ;o] ) … also michael DOES heat up like a burnin’ flame whenever his name is called and the situation with the boys just keeps going round and round with no exact end in sight, only the calling of desire 

———

❥ separate ways (worlds apart) — journey

you would think i would have more journey on here ??? because i love them ??? but instead i stole this off of shovel too ??? it’s fine. time to be back on the 95060 bullshit sbsjhbsjhs we all know david Really wants michael to join them but. michael is reluctant, so that hesitance sets them worlds apart from each other— as if they weren’t already— and there’s still love between them, or at least the bgeinning sparks of it, even if michael refuses to act on them and only keeps pushing david away 

———

❥ cum on feel the noize — quiet riot

just some boys loving to party <3 some boys with evil yet dirty minds, out of time singing, funny faces, and that have a lazy time <3 yeah no this is one they’d rock out to and someone would probably pull a muscle over because it’s just such a banger sbshjsbsjh

———

❥ rebel yell — billy idol 

Another stolen off of shovel sbjhsbsjhs also ever since it’s been pointed out to me that david looks like billy idol i’ve just been losing it a little sbhjsbshjs Anyway. they’d definitely idolize him to some degree, even if just for looks, and it certainly fits the way that they. most Definitely let out a rebel yell at the midnight hour if you know what i mean— *taken out by a sniper*

———

❥ every breath you take — the police

would to believe to know i took it from shovel (i swear the last three where i say that will be rock you like a hurricane, livin’ on a prayer, and cherry pie sbshjsbsh) BUT !!! the watching every move is yet another. david keeping watch over michael and uh yearning from afar moment, heart aching the longer he’s away and the longer he keeps up this game of not knowing what exactly he wants to do 

———

❥ handsome devil — the smiths

ok THIS one was lent to me by ej (@/maybe-strawberry-blue) sbshjbshjsbs and let me tell you. this song (especially when paired with this charming man) is Very homoerotic, aka perfect for this movie shbjsbshjsbs like what got me first was “let me get my hands // on your mammary glands” and just. thinking about trans parko sbhsjbshjs but also in general the. “and i would like to give you // what i think you’re asking for” and “a boy in the bush // is worth two in the hand” and just sbhjsbshjs Everything. fits the ambiguous homoeroticism. And i think the boys would listen to the smiths (will elaborate more in the other smiths song explanation)

———

❥ panama — van halen

i Told you all i think van halen is neat sbsjsshjb what can i say. the boys like fast moving vehicles, hard partying, and tender loving sbsjhsbhsj also forgot to mention that i think they’d all be :eyes: about pre-1985 david lee roth and i cannot blame

———

❥ rock you like hurricane — scorpions

third to last shovel snatch sbshjsbh Here you can replace any one of the boys with the animals mentioned, as they’re always hungry and need to feed… they come out scratching and ready to win, willing to rock anyone who gets in their way like a hurricane— including with lust, depending on the situation 

———

❥ livin’ on a prayer — bon jovi

i actually can’t even manage an explanation for this one either just because of the song’s plot and how greatly it differs the movie plot <3 however it will stay because shovel said one of the boys (i forget which) would listen to it and friendship is more powerful than my small brain <3

———

❥ the queen is dead — the smiths

rightttt so here’s the deal, buds and duds. something in my gut just tells me that david would pull a me and. listen to this entire album on repeat, particularly bigmouth strikes again and i know it’s over when in dramatics bshjsbsjh BUT to make a case for the title track itself, breaking into buckingham palce— or really any major building— with only a sponge and rusty wrench would ABSOLUTELY be an endeavor the boys would get up to And they’d all pale (worse than normal) about finding out they’re the descendant of some royal. “oh, has the world changed, or have i changed” and “life is very long, when you’re lonely” is quite fitting of their immortality, which i can only imagine would leave them questioning how the world has evolved and, although they have each other, i’m sure living forever still can get a Little lonely. And they’d certainly celebrate the death of a royal (because anarchy <3). mostly i’ve just been listening to this song on repeat for days sbhjsbshj but, i think it’s the most. generally related to all of the boys, whereas like. cemetry gates would be more solely 95060 

———

❥ need you tonight — inxs

my favorite inxs song… technically the 21st century Wasn’t yesterday when the movie came out nor when the song did sbhjsbshjs but there *is* a lot of sweating from desire and aiming to put that passion into use, very blatantly letting everyone know that sbjhsbshjs

———

❥ bad medicine — bon jovi

there’s just something so fun about this song… and while listening to it on the drive home, i was thinking about it from a 95060 perspective where. david’s a bit lovesick (hence the love like bad medicine) and the choir of voices in the bg, saying “that’s what you get for falling in love”, would be the other boys knowing he’s gotten himself in over his head over what was supposed to be a minor tease or a small fling (would be a real fun and poppy animatic i think)

———

❥ pour some sugar on me — def leppard

legitimately this started as a “haha what about my ‘what if the blood was kool-aid instead’ joke” and then i realized it was. a fair enough fit, especially with the feeding scene. except they’re actual vamps not just video vamps sbjhsbshjs anyway. sugar highs and red hot flames of passion for one another <3

———

❥ cherry pie — warrant

ok THIS is the last song i took from shovel and. my reasoning is pretty much the same as pour some sugar on me and. Friendship

———

❥ somebody told me — the killers

i wasn’t going to add any modern songs but. i thought it’d be funny if michael had had a girlfriend before leaving phoenix that looked a bit like david sbshjsbshj and then it only just added to angst sbhjsbshj

———

❥ you know what they do to guys like us in prison — mcr

i was reminded that vampires will never hurt you exists but. i went with my favorite mcr song instead because. vwnhy is more like ??? a vampire that fears themselves ??? so like. an edward cullen type ??? while ykwtdtgluip is more about the homoeroticism and community ??? i said what i said

———

❥ house of wolves — mcr

thank god this is the last song because i’m getting tired sbjshsjshb a little less homoeroticism, a little more general sinning and egotism <3

[dameronology]

rockstar {s.r x reader} - 2

summary: it’s been two months since you sunk your chipped black nails into steve rogers’ heart. it’s bliss - maybe you’re living in a dream world. {part one here}

I’M SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG but part 2 is finally here! and i don’t even have an excuse because i’ve literally been doing nothing in lockdown. also this has two new characters, the bandmates, they’re only side characters/kinda comic relief but they were so much fun to write 

i’m gonna make a taglist so if you want to be added, let me know xx 

- val xx 

One month.

One month with you.

And the best month of his life. 

Steve couldn’t quite bring himself to say that he loved you - at least not to your face. He was certainly infatuated by you; obsessed with every sarcastic word that rolled off your tongue, entranced with every curve of your body and every mark on your skin. He was drawn in by every bold grin and cheeky wink; enamoured by your very state of being. 

It was a cold Wednesday morning; you’d turned on the heating in your apartment, but there was still a chill in the air. You were sat at the piano in your living room, a half-finished cigarette resting between your lips and a cup of black coffee resting atop the instrument, steam forming against the glacial air. 

You were surrounded by hundreds of pieces of paper; some were scribbled with lyrics, others with melodies and musical arrangements. They were scattered across the rug, and both your coffee and dining table. Getting musically stressed was all in a day’s work for you, but this particular song was being stubborn. 

Steve, who had still been asleep when you traipsed out of bed thirty minutes previous, was stood in the doorway of your bedroom. He had your sheet wrapped around his shoulders, watching as your hands absent-mindedly floated across the keys. You were wearing his shirt; it hung off your shoulders, a few tattoos peaking out the top. He’d seen a lot of beautiful sights in his life but this one certainly took the top spot.

He watched as creased your brow - something you always did when you were in deep concentration. 

‘Come back to bed?’

You jumped at the sound of his voice, turning to face him with a tired smile on your face. You dropped your pen and took the last sip of your coffee, jumping from your seat and skipping across the room to see him. He took you by the waist and you leapt up, wrapping your legs around his waist and pressing a kiss to his nose.

‘I would love to come back to bed but I gotta work, baby.’ you sighed, your hands wandering through his tufty blonde hair. ‘This song is stressing me out.’

‘I know a way I can help you relax,’ Steve’s face twisted into a grin.

‘You make a convincing-’ you were cut off by someone knocking excitedly on your door.

You groaned, dropping your head into the crook of his neck. There was only two other people who had access to your front door without buzzing through; you loved them both dearly but they were a real pain in your ass (especially when they were cock-blocking your chances with Captain America).

You leapt down from Steve’s waist, pressing a kiss to his lips.

‘Put on some clothes,’ you ordered, pushing him towards the bedroom, ‘and fix my sheets, Rogers!’

You heard Steve mutter something about how you were killing him, doll. You rolled your eyes and smiled to yourself, grabbing some black skinny jeans that had been strewn on your sofa. You tugged them on and then jogged to the front door, preparing yourself for the two clowns that awaited you.

‘What do you two morons want?’

You were met with the grinning faces of your band-mates. Alex was a six-foot-tall man child who still dressed like a My Chemical Romance fan circa 2005; Damian, meanwhile, was a self-described bisexual disaster with tufty brown hair and a never-ending collection of flannel shirts. And, above all, they were your absolute best friends. Platonic soulmates, if you will.

‘We haven’t heard from you in three days.’ Damian elbowed past you, swaying into your apartment.

‘We thought you were dead,’ Alex chimed in.

You folded your arms tightly across your chest, watching as your band-mates sauntered in. You didn’t intentionally spend three consecutive days locked in your apartment - it just sort of happened. You and Steve had met up on Friday for a drink, and he was still here on Wednesday. Time sure did fly when you were getting fucked by a super soldier. 

‘I’ve been busy.’ You muttered.

‘Doing what?’

‘Her new boyfriend, probably.’

‘He’s not my-’ you paused. Was Steve your boyfriend? You hadn’t that conversation yet. 

You hadn’t had a boyfriend for a long time. You weren’t short of casual flings - not by any means. It was simply that you hadn’t met anyone worth giving the time of day. And Steve Rogers, you found, was worth giving every second of every one of the rest of your living days.

‘Is he hot?’ Damian asked.

‘Very.’

‘Can we see - ‘

‘- sweetheart, have you seen my shirt?’

You felt the air leave your lungs when a shirtless Steve Rogers exited your bedroom. It was partially to do with what a glorious sight it was and half to do with the fact he hadn’t met any of your friends yet. And, aside from Sam and Bucky, you hadn’t met any of his either.

It wasn’t because you were ashamed; rather, it was au contraire. Whatever this thing was, it was close to your heart and it was close to his. It was your little secret; a tiny world you’d built together. It was too precious to expose to the world - not yet. 

Steve stopped talking when he saw the two other men in the penthouse. He recognised them from the photos on your wall. Except, in the pictures, they were sharing the same, menacing glare that you had. Now, they were grinning like two Cheshire cats.

‘Fuck my life,’ you murmured quietly, hiding your face in your hands, before taking a sharp breath and gesturing between the three. ‘Steve, this is Damian and Alex.‘

‘Right, great to meet you guys.’ Steve, momentarily forgetting his shirtlessness, flashed his beautiful smile, sticking his hand out for them to shake.

‘Believe me, Captain America. The pleasure is all mine.’

‘My eyes have been blessed-’

‘- right, that’s it!’ You snapped. ‘You two, out! I’ll see you in the studio later.’

‘But we have so many questions, sweetheart.’ Your nostrils flared at the use of Steve’s nickname.

‘I will throttle you, Damian!’ You threatened, showing him towards the front door.

‘We love you, Y/N!’

You scrunched up your nose, opening the front door. ‘I love you too. Now fuck off.’

You let the door shut behind them, dropping your back against it. You covered your face with your hands and let out a groan as you slid down it, collapsing into a pile on the floor. Steve, who was still stood in the centre of the room, pulled a face at you, as though he were pitying you. 

‘Don’t look at me like that, Captain America.’ You pointed a finger at him. 

‘I’m not looking at you like anything,’ he couldn’t hide the grin on his face. ‘You’re just so overdramatic. It’s very funny.’

‘I am not overdramatic!’

Steve shook his head and marched over to you, slamming his own back into the door with an over-dramatic groan. He slid downwards - exactly as you had - until he was sat next to you, mimicking your exact actions.

‘Does that look familiar, doll?’

‘It’s easy for you to say. You work with the Avengers, not Tweedledum and Tweedledee.’

‘They seem nice.’

‘I...’ you bit your lip, eyes wandering off ahead of you. ‘They called you my boyfriend.’

Steve furrowed his brow, his head dropping onto your shoulder. ‘Why do I get the feeling that you’re not ready to have that conversation?’

You took his hand on yours, playing with his fingers. They were almost twice the size of yours (and they did things, so many things) and you loved holding them. He towered over you in every way possible. You’d never been the kind of girl who wanted a man to protect her but with him, you didn’t mind so much. 

‘I like what we have now. You and me, and no-one else.’ You murmured quietly. ‘The minute you put labels on things, it creates pressure.’

‘Pressure to do what? Be together?’ He tried to hide the coldness in his voice. 

‘To take the next step!’ You said. ‘You start dating, then you’re official, then people expect you to get married and have babies-’

‘- Your bandmate called me your boyfriend. I didn’t propose to you.’ He stood up, and you immediately yearned for his touch as soon as it left you. 

‘Steve,’ you grabbed onto the door handle, steadying yourself as you leapt up. ‘Commitment just freaks me out, okay? It always has.’

He bit his lip, eyes glued to the floor. ‘What are you saying?’

‘Nothing. I’m not saying anything-’ you took his hands in yours. ‘I’m just asking you to be patient with me. Please?’

--

Later that day, Steve was sat in his office at the compound. It had been a slow morning; there wasn’t much in the way of missions and the reports he’d been working on were dull. He kept picking up his phone, checking to see if you’d texted him.

He still smiled every-time, nonetheless. His background picture was one he’d taken of you; you’d gone on a date to Central Park, and he’d got a snap of you with ice cream on your nose, signature scowl on your face. You had a pair of dark-rimmed Ray-Bans resting on your nose, a black beanie covering your hair. It was his favourite picture of you, because you were adorable and terrifying in equal measures. 

You still felt too good to be true. Before you, every attempt he’d taken at dating had been so complicated. Modern dating was a thousand times harder than it used to be. But, you were simple. You were so open about your feelings that he knew where he stood. It wasn’t exactly like you wore your heart on your sleeve but you were brutally honest. It surprised him sometimes, the way you just came out with things. The way you just said it how it was. 

You’d left things up in the air that morning. You and Steve both had to get to your respective workplaces, and you hadn’t yet had the time to properly sit down and talk. Part of him was terrified for it – what if you were going to end it?

‘I need your advice, Buck.’

Bucky looked up from his laptop, a frown across his features. For a minute, Steve felt bad for distracting him from his work, before he saw the Sims 4 loading screen on his desktop. 

‘What’s up?’ He asked. ‘Your girl getting you down?’

‘She’s not my girl,’ he shot back. ‘I mean…Y/N freaked out this morning when one of her bandmates called me her boyfriend.’

‘You’ve met Alex and Damien?!’ Bucky’s eyes widened, but he quickly cleared his throat. ‘I mean – not relevant. What did she say after?’

Steve rolled his eyes at his friend. ‘Told me she had some issues, asked me to be patient. I think it kinda opened a can of worms.’

Bucky paused, drawing the end of his pen along the table as he thought for a minute. ‘Figures. I think she’s right – you guys have been pretty intense. She probably just needs some time to find her bearings.’

‘What if I’m waiting for something that’s never gonna happen?’

‘Is she worth the wait?’ His friend raised his eyebrows. ‘Only you can decide that.’

--

Across the city, you were in the studio. You were sat on top of a piano, a guitar resting in your lap as you quietly strummed at it, waiting for inspiration to hit you. You were three quarters of the way through finishing the particular record that the band had been working on – but the last part was dragging. Your mind was a thousand miles away as it was, the face of a particular super soldier at the forefront of your mind.

‘You got anything?’ Damian called across from you. He was sat at his drumkit, occasionally whacking at a cymbal hopelessly.

‘Nope.’ You replied ‘I was thinking something like this-‘

‘-we have company!’ Alex announced, entering the room.

You glanced up from your guitar, eyes widening when you saw that Steve was with him. He shared a similar expression to you – nervous, perhaps. You cleared your throat and put the guitar to the side, hopping off the piano. Your boots clipped the key on the way down, a few notes emitting from the instrument as you walked across the room to face him.

‘We’re going to go and talk outside.’ You announced. You took Steve’s hand, pulling him out the room.

You exited the studio, heading out into the backlot of the building. The ground was wet with rain, a few droplets still falling from the sky. The sky was grey, air still thick with damp from the weather. You leant against the wall, boots crunching under the gravel of the ground, scrunching your nose up as a gust of wind hit your face.

‘I’m sorry that I freaked out this morning.’ You finally broke the silence between you. ‘I just…I guess I that I was enjoying that little bubble that we were living in a bit too much.’

Steve smiled, nodding. ‘I know. Me too, doll.’

‘It’s just that things are going so well between us that it freaks me out.’ You continued. ‘Because I know that means it’s going to become serious.’

‘So, what are you thinking now? Where do you want to go with this? With us?’ He took a step closer to you.

‘Every time that I’ve got to this point in a relationship before, I’ve ended it.’ You sighed, but immediately panicked when you saw the look on his face. ‘Oh god, I should not have lead with that – I mean…You’re the first person I’ve met that I want to take that step with. It freaks me out but I want to do it. You just gotta me halfway, yeah?’

Steve’s face softened, and he breathed a sigh of relief. He wrapped his arms around your torso, pulling you into his chest. The action was soft, filled with relief and maybe – just maybe – love.

‘So, does this mean I can officially call you my girlfriend?’

You nodded, beaming. ‘I might freak out the first few times you do it, but of course.’

You pressed your lips to his, hands running through his soft hair. You both fell back against the wall, but you broke the kiss before it could become too heated. You knew where it was going and you weren’t going to put it past you and the super soldier to try and find somewhere to get off in the studio.

‘We gotta back to work,’ you sighed. ‘But I was thinking – the guys have been banging on at me all day about wanting to meet the rest of the Avengers.’

‘That’s funny,’ Steve chuckled, ‘because Bucky has been secret fangirling over them.’

‘Maybe we could go out for drinks?’ You asked. ‘Tomorrow night?’

He pressed another kiss to your lips. ‘It’s a date.’

‘Good.’ You beamed at him. ‘D’you get a cab here?’

You fumbled around in your pockets, producing a lighter, a crumpled-up piece of paper and a set of keys. You tossed the keys to him, and Steve caught them. He’d been dropping hints about wanting to ride your bike again – it was the other thing he’d been obsessed with since the night you two met.

‘Take my bike.’ You said. ‘I think it needs to be ridden by someone who doesn’t grind its gears.’

‘And here I was, thinking you couldn’t get any better.’

You rolled your eyes, pressing one last kiss to his cheek. ‘Now go! I’ve finally had some inspiration for a song that I’ve been stuck on.’

Was it soon to be writing songs about him? Probably. Did you care? Absolutely not.

[crossdressingdeath]

(1/3) It always amuses me how stans try to justify JC actions by his abusive upbringing while there were 3 children in that family and both others turned very kind and/or very moral and not at all like JC (and frankly, he didn't even have the hardest position in the dysfunctional dynamic). Or LXC and LWJ whose upbringing was even more screwed up with a LQ who was certainly playing favorites and wanting perfection, and yet this never draw a wedge between them or created any jealousy.

(2/3)LXC loves for LWJ to excel! Same with "but JC had it so hard rebuilding Lotus Pier, WWX was goofing off with the Wens"...JC was paying people to do that for him, yes, while WWX was trying to start from scratch a settlement over a mountain of corpses with a bunch of weak or old people and not to die of hunger comes winter. While separated from all his friends and hated as a monster by the cultivation world. "But JC was so lonely during the 13/16y, so that justifies him lashing out" And WWX

(3/3) was dead, killed by his brother and thinking that there was not a person left on his side in the end, and yet, that didn't make him act like a dick? Or athg else really, because everything that JC went through in the past, WWX did also, but in a worse way because he lost his parents young, lived in the streets, didn't have JC societal privilege or money and has to harness an unstable necromancy practice on top of that. And yet no one uses it as arguments to explain his actions, only for JC 

Honestly? While none of the Jiang kids were in a good position, out of the three of them... JC did have it the easiest. It was still awful for him, don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting his childhood didn’t suck, but given it was made very clear to JYL that her only purpose was to be married off to JZX so her mother could tie her bloodline to her best friend’s and WWX was treated like a servant at best... Yeah. If I had to pick, I’d choose having a distant father and dealing with a mother who’s constantly emotionally abusive over having a distant father and dealing with a mother who’s constantly emotionally abusive and being treated like a bargaining chip/treated like a servant and/or bastard and being whipped for actions that would get the rest of the clan a lecture at worst. Again, I’m not saying JC didn’t have it bad, but his siblings having it worse is... interesting, given neither of them decided to be dicks to Literally Everyone over it.

I do have to say, even though this is about JC, there’s nothing suggesting LQR was playing favourites with LXC and LWJ. He was strict, yes, probably stricter than he should’ve been, and LXC probably did get more one-on-one interaction with him, but given LXC was going to be sect leader/became sect leader at a young age that makes sense. This is not super important to the point of this post, but I do find it odd how often people make LQR out to be this horrible person who’s always awful to his nephews because he’s Strict when we... don’t actually know anything about how he raised them. I don’t like him all that much, and he probably didn’t do a fantastic job of raising them, but the man did try, and he clearly wants his nephews to be safe and happy (even though he has inaccurate views of what that entails...), and given how the parents/parental figures of the cast generally act he deserves some credit for that. Also the Twin Jades ended up considerably better-adjusted than most of their age group, which... isn’t saying much all things considered but it does say something. If nothing else neither of them seem to feel actively unsafe around him, so he’s definitely not the worst parental figure in this novel.

...I had a surprising number of thoughts on LQR there. Whoops, sorry about the tangent. Maybe I’ll make a post about him at some point. Anyway, yeah, LXC and LWJ clearly adore each other! LXC would be delighted if LWJ surpassed him at something! Same with Nie bros; they argue a lot, but there’s no denying that they love each other. That’s what insults and threats out of love look like; NMJ threatens NHS all the time, but NHS clearly isn’t all that bothered by it until JGY starts fucking with NMJ’s mind and the threats become more serious, which really isn’t NMJ’s fault. It’s because in the other sibling relationships both parties are invested in staying close. They love each other and want to be close for the rest of their lives! Meanwhile JC is obsessed with WWX outperforming him at Literally Everything, and WWX genuinely believes that JC is allowed to treat him the way he does and it’s fine and healthy.

And yeah, JC wasn’t exactly rebuilding Lotus Pier all by his lonesome with his own two hands. In fact, going by what we see all the rebuilding was done well before WWX left! And I don’t doubt for a second that WWX was involved in that process; I have very mixed feelings about the scene in CQL where he blows off his duties to go and get drunk, because on the one hand it does do a good job of showing just how bad his mental state is getting (and how JC refuses to acknowledge it despite WWX obviously being Not Okay), but on the other hand... I just can’t see WWX not throwing himself into helping JC with everything he’s got even while his mental state is coming crashing down around him. I mean, this is the guy who created an incredibly powerful weapon that even he couldn’t fully control, not knowing what using it would do to him, to help his brother win a war. I’m pretty much certain that WWX ran himself into the ground helping JC rebuild and run the sect... then when he found himself in charge of a small group of desperate people, scrambling to keep them fed and clothed and healthy, JC just abandoned him to deal with it on his own.

And the whole “Oh, but JC was so lonely, don’t you feel bad for him?” shtick. I hate it so much. If he didn’t want to be lonely, he should’ve considered that before alienating everyone in his age group and leading an army to murder his brother, the only person left who was willing to put up with him! It’s... really hard to feel bad for someone who’s brought most of their suffering on themselves through a series of generally shitty and frequently downright cruel actions with easily foreseeable consequences. If he got sick of being alone, he should’ve apologized to his peers for being a dick to... literally all of them and tried to make amends and strike up some sort of relationship. Or, if that didn’t work, go out! Meet new people! Try not to be as awful to them! Also, he’s a sect leader. If he couldn’t even maintain a positive relationship with other sect leaders, people who, let me remind you, he has to work with on a regular basis and several of whom are actually nice and friendly people, that is on him. If you are awful to people you will end up alone. And then JC decided to respond to learning that the people he was a dick to every time he saw them (and, in LWJ and NHS’s cases, caused the death of someone they cared about) wanted nothing to do with him... by whining about how lonely he was as if that wasn’t largely his fault. Like, he lost his family and that’s awful, but he could have had friends to help him through his grief, and it’s his own damn fault that he doesn’t.

WWX’s life was miserable. He had plenty of friends, yeah, but he spent years on the streets after his parents died brutal deaths; was raised in a family where he was treated like a servant and a scapegoat; lost everything in an event he was blamed for despite having nothing to do with the attack; had to sacrifice his incredibly powerful golden core (thereby losing his primary means of defending himself while on the run and drastically shortening his lifespan) to keep his brother from letting himself die; was thrown into a corpse pit for three months where he had to create an entirely new and experimental (and as such incredibly dangerous) form of cultivation and probably resort to cannibalism just to survive; had to fight a war almost immediately after escaping; spent a... good portion of time (not sure how long exactly because the MDZS timeline is more a suggestion than an actual coherent timeline) being treated alternately as a tame pet or a rabid animal and having to pretend everything was just fine while everyone tried to either control him or remove him and his brother very obviously got increasingly resentful of his skill and power; had to abandon his home, his family, and everything he had left of his old life to save a bunch of innocent people while everyone, including his brother, acted like he’d gone mad for not wanting to let them die horribly; had to go back to the corpse pit he spent three months in because it was the only place where they might be safe; accidentally killed his brother-in-law due to losing control after being ambushed on the way to a celebration for his nephew that he was invited to by people he trusted, almost certainly making him wonder on at least some level if that was why he was invited; lost two members of his new family who he clearly loved because of said accidental murdering; learned their deaths were for nothing and, when he retaliated against the planned attack that shouldn’t have happened because that’s what WQ and WN gave their lives to prevent, saw his beloved sister die to save him; and, after all that, lost the rest of his new family to a siege on a civilian population led by his brother. And after all that, his response was... to destroy the incredibly dangerous weapon he’d made because he didn’t trust the sects to not destroy each other and themselves with it and kill himself rather than risk losing control again and hurting anyone else. In the novel too; I don’t doubt for a second that WWX planned on dying in that siege, even if he didn’t expect destroying the seal to do it.

Take a look at that paragraph. All those things that happened to WWX. And in the end, he was kind. He was so, so kind, and remains kind even after thirteen years of being dead. He would have been well within his rights to go all “Then let me be evil” on the sects, but every time he attacked them they struck first, and most of the serious damage he did happened as a direct result of losing control of his experimental and mostly unknown new cultivation, which is a real risk even with spiritual cultivation; NMJ probably would have happily killed everyone in Qinghe if the qi deviation hadn’t gotten to him first, given how easy it was for him to attack even his beloved little brother. Everything bad that happened to JC is on that list, pretty much. Everything that JC suffered WWX did too, with some variations in the details (and of course dead versus alone for the same period of time). JC had the advantage of a sect at his back and a high rank by virtue of his birth, while WWX’s position was entirely reliant on JFM and, later, JC. And yet some people insist that WWX’s trauma doesn’t excuse his actions but JC’s somehow does. Now, some people argue it’s different because WWX was a mass murderer. Yeah, well, JC’s a fucking serial killer, and he doesn’t have the excuse of losing control due to using resentful energy to cultivate and being attacked by everyone he’d ever known and trusted.

...I’ve kind of lost track of where I’m going with this. Short version: I very strongly disagree with anyone who insists WWX’s trauma doesn’t excuse his actions while bending over backwards to argue that JC’s trauma excuses his.

[h-e-l-l-b-r-o-k-e]

Without a Doubt [B.H. x you]

Summary: Billy’s enamored with his desk neighbor. The only thing is, she’s not aware of his existence...or anything, really.

Inspiration: Ballerina Out of Control by The Ocean Blue & Lorelei by Cocteau Twins

Word Count: 1399 Warnings: profanity.

Written Date: 11/7-18/2019 Posted Date: 11/18/2019

Parts: [1] [2] [3] [4] [MASTERLIST]

Billy noticed her brutalized notebook first as it loudly plopped onto the desk beside his. Its front cover hanging on to its last two spirals while angry indecipherable scribbles nearly puncture through the material. The edges were beyond frayed from maltreatment.

He rolled his eyes then and thought to himself, ‘Great…I sat next to the weirdo of Hawkins High.’

But then a subtle scent swirled into his nostrils, smelling of roses and…those essential oils Susan had stored away under their bathroom sink. Girly. Girl. ‘Girl.’

Instead of some overweight, pimpled-faced, greasy-haired brute who spends the majority of his time masturbating to Miss November and probably hasn’t figured out how to make eye contact with the opposite sex without his palms cooking up a sweat, Billy’s ocean blue eyes found her. A rather pretty girl with tangled locks whose wardrobe lacked diverse shades of color.  

Needless to say, she hadn’t noticed him. She hadn’t seem to notice anything. Not the teacher as she introduced herself, not Billy as he was forced to introduce himself as the new kid to the entire class, and certainly not the material her grades would rely on. The steady world outside the classroom was just as dull and lacklustre as the classroom, yet it had cast a spell on her.

And, the whole time Billy hardly noticed anything other than the quiet girl who limply waved her hand just a few centimeter above her shoulder when her name was called during attendance. He hadn’t noticed Tommy H., who would soon become the unshakable monkey on his shoulder, nor Cassie Beckham, the flirt he would have a late night encounter with just a couple days later at the quarry.

In just those first forty-five minutes of class, Billy managed to make out two words in the mess that was Y/n’s notebook, and he wasn’t even sure if he had gotten it right when spelling it out on a different sheet of paper: cocteau twins. ‘What the fuck is Cocteau Twins?’

Never coming across such a strange term, not even in the diversity of California, he didn’t know where he could find the meaning. Regardless, he was determined and became rather obsessive in the hunt for the answer.

He had snuck into his father’s study just to browse through his encyclopedias, but all he found was some French writer he doubted had anything to do with the girl in his class. He had wasted two hours at the local record shop flipping through the ‘Cs’ and ‘Ts’ before putting on his best flirtatious smile and asking the employee if she’d ever heard of them, thinking it could possibly be a band. The employee hadn’t, but she’d been happy to check the inventory list for him before coming up empty.

That didn’t deter him from hopping around other music stores, even when the outcomes continued to be the same. After Tommy had become somewhat of a friend to him, he had joked that madness was doing the same thing every day and expecting a different result. And still, Tommy had not a clue that this search was for the girl in black in their English class for dumbasses. No, Billy’s hunt came to a close when he’d ran out of record stores within the 15-mile radius.

With no hint as to whether this Cocteau Twins even existed, Billy held on. Quite literally.

Just a month into the school year and fall had consumed the town, leaving layers of cracked and chlorophyll-broken leaves for the street-sweepers to clean up almost daily. But while she was staring out the same window at those dead, sinking leaves, Billy decided to forge those same words he’d been searching for onto the center of his palm in blue ink. Tommy had taken to sitting behind him, so he had to stop glancing at her so often.

For always picking on poor souls who crossed his path, Tommy was careful around Y/n, acting like her seat wasn’t preoccupied by one of the sorest thumbs in the entire school. This left Billy even more mystified about her. There was history between the two, just like there was history between Tommy and the soon-to-be dethroned king himself, Steve Harrington.

How deep the ties were in this school, he’d soon find out during a shirts vs. skins basketball scrimmage against the one-and-only Steve Harrington.

With one quick shove of the shoulder, Harrington’s lanky form toppled to the floor. That was all it took for Billy to make the winning basket before offering a hand to his fallen opponent. Leaving the pen markings in his palm vulnerable to scrutinizing eyes, it took only one prolonged glance for Harrington to ponder upon all the answers Billy had been itching to know.

Steve had dated the girl who had introduced him to the virtually underground band whose name was etched into Billy’s skin before leaving her for a new fancy—Nancy, the unpopular girl who grew into her looks quite well. They had dated for a year, and Steve had thought he had loved her all the more when she and Tommy had surprisingly developed a bond that resembled siblings.

And yet, Steve had ultimately ruined everything he had built with Y/n for the exciting chase that was Nancy. It was his fault that Y/n had fallen off the cliff of popularity and had swindled down a hole so foreign to him. He’d stolen what little shine her eyes had held, the soft peaches of her closet, and left her a hollow shell of the girl she was before.

At first, Steve hadn’t a reason to worry about her after the breakup. He didn’t cheat on her and he hadn’t lied to her when he told her he had fallen out of love. Besides, it wasn’t his fault that the friends she had met through him were superficial enough to turn on her once they weren’t an item. There was no reason for guilt to settle in the pit of his stomach when Carol had nastily snickered about hearing his ex’s sniffles behind one of the bathroom stalls because his hands were clean.

But, Steve was different now. He was still very much in love with Nancy but finding this Morse code on his enemy, the need to protect his vulnerable ex-girlfriend as some form of self-redemption shocked his core. And he wondered just what in the hell did Billy have planned for Y/n?

Billy had caught the lingering stare of his enemy, and later that day, Billy had taken Tommy H. to the only bar that didn’t card because a drunk Tommy was a very open Tommy. He spent twenty-three dollars he barely had just to get Tommy spilling his nostalgic guts onto the wooden counter.

“Harrington broke up with her over boring Nancy, and she’s not even hot ya know? No, but see, my Carol is hot. Nancy? Nah, man. Just another judgy bitch that thinks she’s better than us. And now, Y/n—she dresses like a freak. I think she’s fuckin’ depressed, hanging around that ash* chick Samantha sure messed with her head.” Tommy finished his drink and flagged the bartender for another one.

In between the slurring of his words, Billy got the gist of the drama his friend was mulling over and suddenly Hawkins didn’t seem like such an empty puddle. And, yet, Billy acted the oblivious fool when it came to her.

He never speaks to her, never speaks about her. He is a mere observer without a clue as to what Cocteau Twins is because he refuses to make the first move. So, he fucks around with girls whose names he doesn’t give a shit about, fights with other guys for dominance—anything to stir a commotion in this depressing town, hoping one day she’d be enchanted with him instead of their English class window.

A/N: *Ash was one of the many terms in the 80s used to label someone from the goth subculture before the term “goth/gothic” really took off.

[thaliatimsh]

if its alright! wrt the 'directors commentary' asks, honestly anything /Anything/ for 'imperfect life', oof :0

ONE DVD COMMENTARY TRACK COMING UP BECAUSE HELL YES you may ask me about this one. GOD I HOPE THIS READ MORE WORKS OR I’M GONNA DIE OF SHAME. For those of you who’ve missed my pleas: imperfect life is on AO3 here. read it or i cry.

Okay I reblogged that post with not much of an idea about what I’d actually have to say but imperfect life is at least at the forefront of my mind lol

First things first I’d had an idea for a fic about Hodgson At Mutineer Camp that i wanted to write floating around my head for a while that was. I suppose centred on the sheer Betrayal of GIBSON YOU CHANGED MY SHEETS FOR THREE YEARS? WHAT THE FUCK? And as I did more research abt both of them and found that they’d been on ships together & that it was likely that either Hodgson or Peglar got Gibson his job? Fuckin wrote itself, especially seeing as in show-canon Bridgens is the Peglar Papers Steward.

Anyway I’ve said this before to everyone who’ll listen but I will say it again: I think Hodgson is misinterpreted & underappreciated by a lot of the fandom &  it makes me SAD and also ANGRY.

Like: I once saw someone say that he was “mad about Jopson’s promotion, so fuck that guy”? NO. He MISSED Jopson’s promotion! He would have gotten a KICK out of Jopson’s promotion! You BASTARDS! Hickey picks on him SPECIFICALLY because he’s out of the loop! I’ll kill you!

Ham jokes? I’m coming to your HOUSE. man’s as ‘obsessed with ham’ as any self-respecting naval officer starving to death in the arctic

Then there’s the “Who is this?” being taken as some kind of a-okay for cannibalism instead of a guy who saw someone shot dead just last night and then spent the morning burying said dead'un being literally scared out of his mind by a greasy lil rat with a knife and Tozer blocking the tent flap with a fuckign RIFLE. DAMN YOU ALL.

Do I think he’s a complete FOOL? YES. Do I think he ever had any kind of malicious intent? NO. Okay anyway I’m gonna talk a bit more abt that later so let me go back to the next part lmao

So Part 2 of the George Henry Hodgson Saga was then to figure out why he had to go stay with his aunts - this ALSO came pretty straight to me, for whatever reason. I think it might have started off as just his parents pleasure jaunt, but as I was thinking about later scenes with Jimmy Fitzjas I came up with a thing abt - Im not gonna find the reference now but in the battersby book there’s a bit abt William Coningham going to take the waters at bath or whatever for Weak Lungs which OBVIOUSLY made me think of my favourite comsumptive Of All Time Fryderyk Franciszek Chopin & the countryside retreats he & his sister Emilia took for their symptoms as teenagers (and unforch Emilia died of tuberculosis aged just 14… rip)

ANYWAY I had some VAGUE idea that George n Fitz could have some kind of Passing Discussion abt Brothers With Shite Lungs that obviously never came to fruition but. Lol whatever, it gave me a reason for why My Parents Sent Me To Stay With Two Aunts.

UH. Right, so then like the third leg for this to stand on was that Fitzjames and Hodgson had ALSO served together & Fitzjames had: 1. recommended Hodgson to the expedition 2: mentioned him TWICE in his Voyage of the Cornwallis 3. Mentioned him in his letters to the Coninghams from disko bay (one of the only Terrors mentioned - there’s a passage abt Fitzjames going to look at the icebergs with Fairholme and Hodgson. ANYWAY; show-canon Hodgson has a sense of humour and I really think he tried to make the men see him as approachable, at least compared to the other Terror officers and that reminds me a lot of how the historical Fitzjames seemed from mystery man! Seeing as they KNew each other I think it’s not unfair to suggest that he’s trying to emulate an older and more successful officer! He wants to succeed! He wants to have fun and to be loved by The Men!

My friend said something very Prescient abt this to me recently which was that THere are a lot of similarities between Hodgson & Fitzjames and it’s kinda like. Fitzjames is the Ideal, and Hodgson just misses the mark. He’s the average man’s James Fitzjames and because he doesn’t know about Fitzjames’ surplus of political luck that only makes him feel more of a failure. Fitzjames gets a bullet that gets him compared to Lord Nelson, Hodgson gets in the gazette as ‘slightly wounded’. Even their monologues! Fitzjames gives a soul-baring confessional he’s never talked about before to someone he respects and he gets! Affirmation! Gets told that he’s a good man and brave and loved! Hodgson gives a soul-baring confessional he’s never talked about before to someone he respects and gets! FUCK ALL! A MAN SITS IN SILENCE! He has to fucking! Walk out alone after all of that! FUCK!!!

Okay so this whole fic just sat in my brain for probably like six months until I literally sat up in bed because I worked out the last piece of the puzzle

(Drac has an epiphany, July 4th 2019, colourised)

Which was, of course, 'Hodgson went to boarding school’ - which is what all of this ends up hanging off of! Boarding school culture! The younger years are servants for the upper years, who in turn are responsible for the younger students!  including discipline etc so like… if a younger year brought something up to their “fag-master” it’d be sorted by them and maybe prefects, without getting schoolmasters etc involved.

WHICH is why George doesn’t tell the captains about what happens to Neptune, because he’s out here trying to be a good fag master and get it sorted himself! His own fag master fucked him over by getting the schoolmasters involved when they oughtn’t have been! He’s not about to be Archibald Harrington-Thurlowe! He’s not okaying the mutiny! He’s trying to minimise the damage *on his own* like a fuckin idiot!

IF YOU CALL HODGSON A MUTINEER I’LL COME TO YOUR HOUSE N MAKE YOU GET LOST AND ABANDONED AND END UP EATING YOUR BOOT BEFORE GETTING 'RESCUED’ BY THE SAME GREASY RAT WHO LITERALLY MURDERED YOUR PAL AND TRICKED YOU INTO SLAUGHTERING CIVILIANS! I’LL. I’M NOT HAPPY.

I’m just basically so upset about 'one perfect moment in a whole imperfect life’ being a childhood memory that he was taught to see as so shameful to compare it to cannibalism under duress? FUCK.

A whole imperfect life in GENERAL has me fucked up! He just kept trying and kept just missing what he was aiming for! I mean. That’s relateable. Not one part of a life turning out as you expected or planned? ME!!!! Your achievements add up to nothing and no matter how hard you try you end up a footnote! FUCK offfff

I had some difficulty with the religious angle for a while because. hm. okay. To start with the religious angle IN-CANON is just.... not correct. Catholics don't let you drink the blood. The church of england DOES... and that's what most of these men ARE. The Papist Speech as a whole was cobbled together from one of Crozier's ~Visions~ in the book - and it's important in that case that Crozier is IRISH... Poor analogy, writers! Putting aside that he was also... SEVEN... maybe he was an unusually tall seven-year old, people assumed he'd had first communion/been baptised & no one wanted to cause a fuss... I mean the guy has lead poisoning so it's fair to mis-remember but... YEAH. Messy, which is a shame because it's a powerful monologue very well-delivered, shame it's complete fucking nonsense 😂 (not to be like... SMH Americans but... smh Americans...)

Anyway, as I wrote it? that’s me. I wasn’t raised religious - my dad’s an old-school small-town Continental Catholic, my mum’s agnostic but raised CofE (but *her* dad was raised Jewish (also continental) during WW2), I think they couldn’t be fucked with the drama, I never went to church or anything and as a kid when we had prayers at school assembly I didn’t know what I was doing!!!! I felt bad because I couldn’t fathom God as a concept!!! I still can’t! But as a kid it’s like. I don’t understand and on account of that I’m afraid I’m going to Hell. tfw you write what you know.

ALSO there were definitely a couple of times where I wrote G H Hodgson as played by B W Wooster and I will not be taking constructive criticism on that.

ANYWAY My brain has kindof turned itself off now but I guess this is just. My own personal backstory to this jhsgfjhs. I actually probably have about 400x more to say but it’s fully evaporated. thank you SO MUCH for asking me though. i die.

[rosewinterborn]

11/11/11

I waited too long to do this, so now I have 44 questions to do. RIP. Tagged by @writersblockandapotoftea, @arwallace (I know you tagged @expositionpreposition but it’s easier to do it here!), @shit-she-wrote, and @atinydino

Cap:

Who was your childhood hero?

Honestly, probably JKR. Again, RIP.

If we didn’t start the fire, who did?

People like my dad who say “millennials” like it’s a derogatory word probably

What made you start your wip?

Reading too much Dresden Files and also looking at magic academia posts on Tumblr (Gutter Witch); Reading Eragon (Companion to Dragons); Wanting to make an open magic world (Witches Anthology); Reading too much Stucky fanfiction (Fractal); Listening to the Magnus Archives three times through in a month (CHAF3k); wanted to go on a magic adventure with my high school friends (Children of the Light)

Hogwarts house?

Gryffindor!

Star Trek or Star Wars

Star Wars, though I like both

What was your pre-teen bop?

Uhhh Taylor Swift’s whole second album

If you could have a fantasy creature as a pet, what would you pick?

A dragon about the size of a cat that could sit on my shoulder and talk to me

What’s your pet peeve?

Feeling like people are upset with me but won’t talk to me about it

Dracula or Frankenstien’s Monster?

Haven’t read Dracula so Frankenstein’s monster, I guess.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve said to a friend?

I mean I had a conversation with two lesbians about dildos yesterday, soooo

If you had to murder someone, who would it be?

No one. I honestly don’t think I’d be able to live with myself after.

A R Wallace

Which book(s)/series would you compare your current WIP(s) to?

The Dresden Files. Though I did have someone say it was like reading a better-written Mortal Instruments. I was tickled.

Would you be willing to adapt your WIP into a movie one     day? Why or Why not?

Yes. Please. Let me see my work come to life.

What is your ‘writing ritual’? (do you make sure     you’ve made a cup of tea, sit in a particular spot, etc.)

I don’t have any particular ritual, I usually just try and seize the energy when I have it. Right now I am trying to sit at my actual desk to work, though, and during school if I had anything that I desperately needed to get done I took my ass to a coffee shop and told myself I wasn’t allowed to leave until it was done.

How much has writeblr helped you with your writing?

It helped me find a writing community that inspired me to get back to work after the depression had taken it away from me. I’m not as active on writeblr as maybe I could be, but the writing discord I found through it has been a lifeline.

If you could be one creature (real or mythical), what would you be?

A dragon. But like, one of the ones that can shapeshift. I also like being human.

Sum up your favorite WIP in one sentence

Oh god I’m supposed to have a favorite? That’s not gonna happen…

Gutter Witch: Local teens sick and tired of prophetic bullshit

Children of the Light: Estranged assholes learn to love each other again and also stop the apocalypse

Fractal: Hell on Earth in so many ways

Companion to Dragons: Girl’s asshole father sends her and her sister on a suicide mission and thinks that’s the end of it (surprise!)

Witches Anthology: literally a whole bunch of short stories so I’m not gonna try

Which of your characters is your favorite?

Whyyyyyy idk in GW probably Hunter, he’s fun to write. Overall maybe Sterling, my enby necromancer in the anthology

Which of your characters is your least favorite?

Hunter’s mother. Like honestly, every time I write about her she gets worse.

What do you believe is the most overused trope in your WIP’s genre(s)?

Melodrama.

Favorite season?

Autumn

If you could travel anywhere in the universe, where would you go?

Several places in Europe, in no particular order.

Eva:

1.     What’s the first story you remember writing?

A story about a cat and a mouse becoming friends.

2.     How has your taste in books changed since childhood?

I’ve tended a lot less towards high fantasy. I think it’s too much of an energy investment to try and understand the worldbuilding right now, whereas you can usually just jump into urban fantasy. I’ve also gotten a lot more interested in horror.

3.     Do you see any similarities to your favorite books in your work? If yes, what are they?

If I’m being real honest, most of my wips are direct rip-offs of stuff I’ve read/watched/listened to, at least in the first draft. I usually try and direct my obsessions into creative energy at some point, with differing amounts of success.

4.     What sort of music inspires you?

Stuff with strong beats/baseline and vaguely rebellious lyrics. So like, lots of Imagine Dragons and Fall Out Boy. But also trailer music like Epic Score and Two Steps from Hell

5.     Favorite book?

These are the most evil kinds of questions you guys.

I can’t think of any published books I’d call my absolute favorite, but I do have a handful of fanfics I read on at least an annual basis: War, Children, by Nonymos; To Be Vulnerable Is Needed Most of All, by perfect_plan; and Schroedinger’s Romance by lesbuchanan

6.     Favorite mythology (Greek, Norse, etc.)?

Probably Celtic? I’m really rusty on it though

7.     Dream vacation?

A long, long trip through Europe without having to worry about money

8.     Favorite writing snack?

I don’t really eat when I write because its too much of a distraction :P

9.     What tea do you drink the most while writing?

Irish Breakfast

10.  Do you have a special writing cup, that you drink tea out of specifically when writing to fill you up with inspiration?

I have a couple I’m more likely to grab, like my Night Vale Community Radio mug or my white Starbucks mug with the gold lettering

11. Write your favorite quote from your recent wip!!

Just outside the beam of light was a circle of what looked like black paint, tiny sigils scratched into it, shimmering uncannily in the dark. Wisps of that grim light drifted from the sigils to the figures at their center, dancing around Mara’s hands, clutching at Hunter’s shirt. Anywhere they touched his skin, blood seeped from a new laceration, sluggish and dark and horrible. 

“Hunter,” she breathed. 

Then she heard him. 

“Run, Cady,” he croaked. “Tell my mom...she’s a bitch.”

Ames:

1.     What’s your favorite season and why

Autumn! I love rain and also that it’s not super hot or super cold

2.     What’s your favorite food?

Bread.

3.     Who’s your favorite character in your most recent WIP?

Hunter Bishop, asshole extraordinaire

4.     Do you hide easter eggs in your writing? If so tell me a few.

Hm. If I do, I don’t consider them easter eggs, just references. Though I did have someone in my creative writing class ask if the sandwich my protagonist was eating was based on one served in one of the restaurants on campus (and he was right)

5.     Would you prefer your WIPs to be turned into a movie or tv series? (feel free to tell me about more than just 1)

Gutter Witch should just be a movie, and I’m leaning towards that for Witches as well. Fractal could go either way, though I’m leaning towards TV show. Children of the Light could go either way. CHAF3k will hopefully be a podcast at some point.

6.     If you could have a writing studio anywhere with anything in it, what would it be like and where would it be?

I like the nook I have, though I think I’d adjust the height of my desk chair and add a coffee maker and a closer bathroom so I don’t have to walk all the way across the apartment. Oh, and I’d get a massive whiteboard so I can go all conspiracy theory on my wips.

7.     What music do you listen to to get you in the zone? (the writing zone)

Trailer music! Epic Score and Two Steps from Hell. I can’t listen to music with lyrics while I try to make the words go.

8.     What’s your worldbuilding process?

Panic.

But actually, I think of the aesthetic I’m after and then try to make everything build off of that. Along the way I usually try to figure out what thing I’m consciously or unconsciously basing it off of so that I can make necessary changes.

9.     Who are your most influential authors?

JKR (sorry), Laini Taylor, Juliet Marillier, Tamora Pierce

10.  What’s your favorite kind of cookie?

French macarons

11. Give me your favorite excerpt for your recent WIP!

“I wanted to talk to Madge.”

“Madge is dead,” Hunter said, confused. 

“I’m aware,” she said. “I asked Death to take me to her, but she said she couldn’t and suggested projection instead.”

Hunter turned from the stove with the most dumbfounded expression Cady had ever seen outside of cinema. “You asked Death,” he repeated.

Cady snorted. “Yeah. I asked Death.”

“The cosmic power, Death.”

“The cosmic power, Death. We’re good friends. She comes over for tea on occasion.”

Hunter stared at her, expression halfway between disbelief and suspicion. “You’re fucking with me.”

“I’m not fucking with you,” Cady said. “Death is the whole reason I came to this Coven. She sent me here when I was thirteen.”

Hunter sank back against the counter, looking almost faint. Whatever he’d been cooking began to sizzle alarmingly. “Death has been...in this apartment.”

Cady nodded.

Not tagging anyone else on this one. I’ve learned my lesson lmao.

[b00bconnoisseur]

60 questions for @not-my-brain

1. selfie.......Ugghhhh ok. Imma take one rn

Ok here u go (yes thats a bmth shirt)

2. what would you name your future kids?.....Ooo hmmm well when i was a kid i really liked the names disney, and mesiah. I didn't know at the time that mesiah was another name for god i think lol. I liked it cause of handlers mesiah. I still do. Ooo and maybe Tj too

3. do you miss anyone?......Yeah. My friends on Pinterest from a year ago. My friend lucas. Stan lee. Bob ross. My cousin who died from cancer some years ago. Snape. Sirius. Lupin. Tonks. Dobby. *continues to name every unfortunate death in hp*

4. what are you looking forward to?.......SE-YA next month!! Its the south eastern young adult festival at this college. You can have meet n greets with authors and alot of stuff its the besstttt

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?......DEFINATELY. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @sammchenry my friend lucas and @septembersbloom. ^^

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?..... What like...romantically? Or like a death? If romantically uhhh idk it took over a couple weeks but im ok now. Ive never had another relationship so idk. If death oof yeah idk maybe. Ig it depends on how much i knew them idk. Like when my nanny (great grandma) died i was sad for days (is that alot?)

7. what was your life like last year?.....Sucky af. Still is. But the highlights of my life last year was getting and making friends on tumblr, going to the tøp concert and going to warped tour, volunteering at the library, going to seya and meeting some of my favorite authors, reading, changing and improving my art, listening to all the bands i listen to now, getting into more fandoms, going to a friends house for the first time

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?.......Yes lol. Some years ago when i couldn't find smtn id be so annoyed and pissed id start crying. I dont now but still lol

9. who did you last see in person?.......Hm ig family doesn't count....? Wait do u mean a friend? If so uhh my friends rebekah, anika, and Judah at a TAB meeting at the library sometime last month.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?......I think so? Like i mean I can hide whenever i get my....time of the month from my mom (talking abt stuff like that with her makes me uncomfortable) and i hid a breakup. And other p big stuff too. So imma say yeah

11. are you listening to music right now?........*pops on earbuds after reading this* yee im listening to bitch lasagna by pewdiepie xD (do i have the best spotify playlist or what?)

12. what is something you want right now?.......To hug @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye but SOMEONE has to live so far away

13. how do you feel right now?........Happy that my earbud still works cause they got washed in the wash yesterday....oops. Its not my fault. I told my dad to remind me to take it out of my jacket pocket before they threw it in but noooooo he forgot

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?.......Uhhhhh fuck idk it was probably from my lil 4 yr old bro sometime last week. Other than him (hes my favorite sibling) i dont let them hug me too much

15. personality description.......Nerdy. Fangirl. "Emo". Tomboy. Hotsause obsessed. Book lover. Music lover. Black. Blue. Harry potter. Introvert. Fall. Sports. Values friendship. Loyal. Uhhhh i cant think of much lol

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?.......*sigh* yes. Yes yes yes. Theres some things abt me, or my life really, that i havent told anyone on here or my irl friends that i sooooo want to so bad but i haven't cause i feel like they'd feel bad and pity me and i don't want that

17. opinion on insecurities........I dont really understand this one. Everyones insecure abt something. Is this askin like if i think its ok or not? I say its ok. Im insecure about literally everything about me. My face. My personality. My socialness. My art. What i do. What i say. Basically my whole body. The things i feel good abt are my books, music taste, and my friends (ily fuckers)

18. do you miss how things were a year ago?.........Hmm this time around a year ago....idk its sorta the same but all the stuff i mentioned abt my year from last year didn't happen yet so nah tho my life sucks rn its better than this time last year

19. have you ever been to New York?........Nooo but i want too soo baddd i wanna visit @septembersbloom !! Im coming for ya soon gramps *does the eye watching thing* my dads been to nyc before tho cause he does construction and he had a concrete job to do there. It was a 23 hr drive for him

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?........Uhhh idk!!! So hard! Maybe.....the whole thats the spirit album by bmth ;)

21. age and birthday?.....15 yrs of age and September 27th 2003 (whats yours brainy? I'll put it on my calendar)

22. description of crush......Its weird idk im not sure if its a genuine crush or not but uh....They like hp :).Thats all u get

23. fear(s).......Losing my best friend @dirtysocke and my other friends. Death. Failure. Momo chasing after me then killing me slowly keeping my eyes open to look her dead in the eyes while i die

24. height......5'6 call me short and I'll fuck u up with THIS *pulls out trusty potato peeler named now steve* dont test me boi

25. role model......Hhhhhhhh so many! But uh gosh one of them is @superraedizzle (youtuberrrr) and vexx and bob ross and da vinci and aaaaaaa so many

26. idol(s)......First person that immediately comes to mind is @sammchenry cause he's super cool and he's really nice and his art's reallyyy good (if u havent seen it w-w-what are u even doin with your life?) And he has a great sense of humor and *continues to ramble about why samms the best*

27. things i hate.......Dabs. Transphobes. Homophobic ppl. Basically any hate on the lgbtq+ community. Bullies. The ship starker. Umbridge. Snape haters

28. i’ll love you if….....U you'll eat pizza, draw, and rp harry potter with mee

29. favourite film(s)......Fantastic beasts. Every hp film. Twilight. The maze runner 1-2. The hunger games. Spiderman homecoming. Kingsman: secret service. Into the spideyverse tho i havent seen it yet

30. favourite tv show(s)......Inkmasterrrrr. B99. The mick. The middle. Uhhh idk mostly ink master xD

31. 3 random facts........Ive never had shrimp. I had a beta fish for over a year once. Im eating pizza crust rn

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?.......G i r l s. I have all girl friends irl and one boy. And on tumblr it seems like i just meet girls? Likei agree with @cristal-kyd1280 its like alot more gals then dudes here. But i do have some guy friends on here too. But mostly girls

33. something you want to learn.......TO DRAW ANATOMY DAMMIT

34. most embarrassing moment........Every moment of my lifes an embarrassing moment. Idk of i can pick a "most" embarrassing one. But one time i i sent my crush (now ex bf) a hey fuckface and like some hearts or whatever for an ask game that meant like "i have a crush on u" "youre adorable" etc and said Hewo but i did it all anonymously. But he confronted me askin if i sent it cause im the only person he knows that actually says hewo lol. Then later on i finally admitted i really liked him and well y'all know the story after i think. Unless you're new

35. favourite subject.......A R TTTT OFC

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?........meet my friends on tumblr. Get into mtsu (college i wanna go to) and study art. And go skydiving

37. favourite actor/actress........favorite actor uhhhhhh probably thomas brodie sangster or tom felton and my favorite actress? Hmmm idk maybe evanna lynch (luna lovegood)

38. favourite comedian(s).......probably kevin hart lol he's p funny

39. favourite sport(s)........basketballllllll and football

40. favourite memory........uhhhhh idk?? One oh my favorite memories was when we went to see tøp in concert

41. relationship status.....single as a pringle

42. favourite book(s)......harry potter and the order of the pheonix. Harry potter and the half blood prince. Simon vs the homo sapiens agenda. Divergent. Maze runner. Twilight. Fangirl. Fallen. Red queen

43. favourite song ever.......TOO HARD DONT MAKE ME CHOOSEEEEEE

44. age you get mistaken for.........16 and 17 sometimes lol

45. how you found out about your idol........i was watching someone on yt and superraedizzle always poped up in my feed and my mom turned on one of her vids cause she always saw her vids too now ive seen most of em i love her. Id heard of vexx but never watched him and i was watching a collab from anthony miller art and shrimpy and i checked out shrimpys channel and was lookin at comments and alot of ppl said his art is like vexxs so i checked out vexx. At first i was like eh ok. Now i cant click fast enough when he posts a vid. And i actually fpund out about bob ross from my grandpa on jan 20 2017 when trump was getting sworn in or whatever. We turned on pbs and my grampa told me to look and bob ross was on and i was IN. I loved it. I even started watching full episodes on YouTube of the joy of painting after that. Wonderful man. My first painting i ever did i think was when i followed one of his tutorials xD (i didnt know it was popular at the time)

46. what my last text message says......."ok your turn"

47. turn ons.....uhh nerds ig idk um book lovers, music lovers, art lovers, potterheads, idk and nice ppl

48. turn offs......jerks. Homophobia. Idk ig whatever i said in things i hate

49. where i want to be right now......uhhhh idk wait didn't i already answer this? Ok this ones different ig so uhh with my friend lucas

50. favourite picture of your idol.....oh shit...favorite? Idk xD i have a fave of vexx but not of rae or bob. But heres pics of them any way

51. starsign......a libraaaaa boiii

52. something i’m talented at......drawing and speed reading. Thats about it lol. Oh and procrastina

53. 5 things that make me happy.......ooooo art, my friends here on tumblr, books, harry potter, and music ^^

54. something thats worrying me at the moment.....if my friend thinks im being annoying

55. tumblr friends......hhhhh so manyyyyyy. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @chinesewaffles2 @kingantlion @queen-baelin @sammchenry @septembersbloom and more

56. favourite food(s)......green beans, pepperoni pizza, and vanilla madelines

57. favourite animal(s).......basically any reptile. Puppies. Cats. Any animal really but my #1 are snakes

58. description of my best friend.....well she's a tiny bean (5 feet) and she has dark hair, she wears glasses, she doesnt take shit, she's in love with Josh dun, she's awesome, funny, nice (YES youre nice jackie) and shes the best friend ive ever had. Oh. And she has a weird obsession with spaghetti

59. why i joined tumblr.......well i heard abt it on Pinterest over a year ago but didnt want it. Then @mrfastbass-deactivated20181231 on DeviantArt said he got tumblr so i made one then followed him and figured id just post art and that's it cause i thought tumblr was boring as hell when i first got it. Now im p much obsessed with it

60. ask me anything you want.......go ahead brainy shoot. Give me smtn good

[herteardrop]

World of Dreams | Connor (RK800) x Reader

Chapter 2 - Detective, this is a crime scene.

|Chapter 1|

Summary: You are an intern at the Detroit Police Department, and you were specifically put under Hank’s wing. You have to shadow him, watching what he does, his cases, everything. His android, Connor finds a peculiar interest in you since the start. Something about you keeps attracting him to you. You are however oblivious to it. Will you cope with the upcoming circumstances?

[A/N] Holy shit yall this. one. Is. LONG. I just couldn’t stop writing, it was like my hands had a mind of its own. My fingers are cramping now omfg. btw Thank you for the kind words on the last chapter! It means so much to me :3 It’s what motivated me to keep writing and make this chapter long....also my obsession with Connor is partlyy the reason too hehe. So enjoy this gem you beauties! <3

Warning(s): Since this chapter is where you’ll be in a crime scene, there are descriptions of some gnarly stuff. Also, sexual abuse, suicide, some swearing (mostly by Hank), and Connor being a cutie patootie as usual.

Note(s): Y/N = Your name | L/N = Last name

Words: 5989 words

Song inspiration: Nocturnal by The Midnight

~

“This is the place.”

Hank rolled up to the apartment complex. It was already crowded with the media and cops, the rain still raged against the ground, it was going to be the long day. The apartment building was tall, and the crime occurred on the 27th floor. You noticed a helicopter surveying the perimeter, you supposed the deviant had not escaped and was still here.

The rain splattered against the window pane in the backseat. You were scared the road may flood by the downpour of the heavy rain. You grabbed your stuff and your umbrella.

Hank and Connor got out of the car, “Stay in the car.” Hank demanded to you.

“Excuse me?”

Hank leaned into the car from the open car door, “You’re an intern, you aren’t qualified to enter a crime scene.” He huffed then slammed the car door shut. Connor stood outside, staring at you for a while before Hank ushered him to follow, leaving you in the car absolutely fuming.

You sat, with your arms crossed, like a little child. Who the hell was he to tell you not to go into a crime scene?

He’s your superior, obviously.

Shut up, brain.

You watched as Hank and Connor approached the apartment building. You sat there in silence for a while.

…

Fuck it.

You kicked open the car door. Well, you didn’t kick, but you opened it with much force. Quickly, you expanded your umbrella, saving yourself from the bullet pellets that you called rain, falling on your head.

You rushed towards the duo, your black boots kicking against the water puddles.

Hank saw your form rushing towards him, and he couldn’t help but let out a long droned out groan. He was getting too old for this shit. He felt like a parent again, but this time hypothetically he had to look over two teenage idiots who would not stop ignoring his orders.

“Didn’t I tell you to stay in the car?” Hank groaned.

“Mr. Anderson, I may be an intern, but I am under your mentorship, I must be following whatever you do. It is your responsibility to show me everything and my responsibility to not come in the middle of your work. I hope you understand.” You declared.

Hank looked at you, then at Connor. Connor looked lost in all of this, he was as confused as Hank. Hank gawked at you, “Why are you talking like an android?”

Blood rushed to your face, you usually got like this whenever you were pissed. But no one ever compared you to an android before. You looked to Connor, as usual he had an expression you couldn’t really read. It was neutral. But then you saw the LED on the side of his head flicker between yellow and blue. Huh, you wonder what that meant.

“Alright, we’re wasting time. Just stay on my tail and don’t fuck up the crime scene got it?” Hank pointed a finger at you.

You gleamed with joy, “Got it.”

~

There was blood everywhere.

On the floor, painted on the walls, coated on every furniture.

Everywhere.

And the apartment was a mess, furniture was toppled over, every single glass fixture was smashed, the hanging lights were out from their sockets. You would think a cyclone hit this place, but it was an android.

“Holy shit…” Hank exclaimed.

“Yeah, that’s what I said too.” Another officer next to Hank chuckled.

You on the other hand were about to gag. You covered your nose with your jacket’s sleeve. Connor was at your side, he seemed to be unfazed by it all.

“Do you not smell that?” you asked, your voice muffled by the thick material of your jacket.

Connor glanced down at you, “I do have sense receptors that allow me to identify a type of smell and which substance it may belong to. But my biocomponents lack the repulse reflex that humans are imbedded with.”

You raised your eyebrows at his usual overly eloquent answers. You smiled under your sleeve, his raspy yet soothing soft voice somehow distracted you from the horrid sight.

“But you can describe the smell in adjectives am I right?”

“Yes.” Connor simply answered, he kept his gaze on your face for a while before understanding what you were asking, “The smell is…” his LED flashed yellow, “The smell is horrid, disgusting, revolting, nauseating, sickening, repulsive, unpleasant—”

“Okay okay I get it.” You laughed. He was about to read out the whole thesaurus if you hadn’t stopped him.

Connor memorized your laugh. He analyzed everything about it. How, despite covering the lower half of your face, your eyes seemed to express that same laughter. The way your eyes curved, the way your upper cheeks seem to become fuller, how your eyes twinkled in innocent joy, it was very distinctive on you. You stood out to him from the other humans. Compared to them, you were full of energy, joy and unending happiness. He decided he liked that.

/SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^/

“Hey! The fuck are you two doing?!” Hank interrupted.

Connor blinked, turning his head towards Hank. He looked exasperated.

“Coming, Lieutenant!” Connor walked towards Hank and the other officers.

You were careful to watch where you were stepping. There seemed to be forensic evidence littered everywhere across the apartment.

“Right, give me the scope.” Hank muttered to the other cop.

“Well, we had a call around 6 in the morning from the landlord. The tenant didn’t pay his rent in a month, so he thought he’d drop by, see what’s going on. That’s when he found his body.”

You walked into the bedroom with Hank and Connor in front of you. The smell of the rotting dead body punched you in the face. Though, you had both your hands covering your nose, you could still smell it. You kind of envied Connor for not having to bear this.

“The victim’s name is Gerald Ortega. He has a clean record except for this one time he showed his middle finger to an old woman who was gardening. He was reported for disturbance of peace. Other than that, he’s pretty clean. I’d say he’s been murdered 3 days ago. Only way to be sure is when the coroner gets here.”

You noticed Connor inspecting the dead body close by. You stood at the door, not wanting to come in the way of the two detectives. You were only there to observe, so that’s what you were going to do.

“Any sign of break in?” Hank questioned the officer.

“Nope, the door and the windows were locked from the inside. The killer must have escaped through the fire escape. Which we did find open when we reached here.”

“Any idea how the blood got onto the walls and floor?”

The officer whistled lowly, “No idea. It was like this when we got here, some of the guys couldn’t stop puking. This sure is the most gruesome crime scene I’ve ever been to.”

The apartment was certainly eerie, what kind of android would paint the walls and floor with their victim’s blood? And why would they? You tried not to touch the walls as you walked around the scene. The man was stabbed multiple times in his chest area, so much that you could see a bit of his ribcage poking out. You winced at the sight.

You walked up to the bedside stand and picked up an electronic pamphlet.

The Eden Club? ‘Hire the hottest android you’ve ever seen…right at your door for your service’ Yeesh, talk about desperate.

You placed the pamphlet back.

“Hey hey hey, wear some gloves!” Hank called out to you, handing you a pair of latex gloves.

You took the gloves, “Right…sorry.”

“Be careful kid.” He muttered then walked out of the room.

You turned back to the bedside table, opening the drawers. Unsurprisingly, you found a gram of red Ice spilled in the drawer. Almost anyone and everyone were addicted to this drug. Ever since people started losing their jobs, they couldn’t take it, resorting to drugs for their happiness. You pitied them.

You turned to Connor, “You think it was a sex android who killed hi— um, what are you doing?” you cringed as Connor placed his bloody fingers stained with the victim’s blood…in his mouth.

He turned to you, “I am analyzing the blood. I can check samples in real time.” He noticed your disgust and shock, “I’m sorry, I should’ve warned you.”

“I-it’s okay. Just weird that’s all.” You turned back around, blood rushing to your face. You didn’t know whether to find that disgusting or…weirdly hot. If you could punch yourself in the face right now you would.

God! What is wrong with me?? I’m literally in the middle of a bloody crime scene with blood on the walls, floor and ceiling and I’m getting hot and bothered over Connor…placing his bloody fingers…in his mouth—

Okay stop. Concentrate.

You noticed the closet on your side, it was open slightly ajar but locked from the outside. Did no one check?

There was a bolt that connected each closet door, preventing you from completely opening it. You pulled on it, it seemed the bolt wasn’t completely fixed in place. You gave it another pull, the wood creaked as the bolt scratched against the surface. You could slightly make out something inside, but it was still dark.

You gave it another hard pull and the bolt flew open, making you stumble backwards until you hit a hard, or…soft surface. You looked behind you, Connor anticipated your actions and stopped you from falling on the bed, his hands gripped your shoulders as you balanced yourself. However, his eyes stayed focused on what was inside the wardrobe.

You looked to the front of you, inside the wardrobe. You felt the blood leaving your face, you were hit by sudden chill.

Ten dismembered naked androids, stacked on top of each other like a bunch of dolls, their faces sawed off, hair ripped out, their hands reduced to fingerless stumps, a sheen layer of blood covered them all. Some of them had no skin, pristine white android skin shined from the light of the bedside lamp.

You were horrified.

Connor gently moved you to the side of him, his attention was fixed on the evidence. He scanned over the model and serial numbers of the androids.

“What the fuck is going on here?” Hank entered the room when he heard the sound of wood breaking, he stopped short as he was made aware of the stacked-up androids, “Holy…” he was speechless.

“These are all sex androids from the Eden club. The owner must have rented them, used them, then discarded them in this manner.” Connor stated.

“What kind of a sick fuck would do something like this?” Hank took a close inspection at the androids, “They look worn out.”

“Some of them have been destroyed weeks prior to the victim’s death. They’re skin and biomechanical parts have begun to degrade.” Connor observed before he quietly walked out of the bedroom, inspecting the other evidences around the apartment.

Hank turned to you, noticing how pale and frightened you looked, “You wanna go sit in the car? We’ll probably be done here in about 10 minutes.”

You swallowed, your mind became a bit hazy, but you could still manage. You just didn’t see anything like this before. You never knew there would be sick people who had dark fantasies on experimenting with androids.

“No, I’m good.” You took a deep breath.

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m fine.” You insisted.

“Okay…” Hank left the bedroom, starting to inquire any extra information from the other officers.

You walked up to Hank, tapping his shoulder slightly. His shoulders slightly jerked when you touched him, you almost laughed at that.

“What is it, kid?” he brought out a cigarette from his pocket and lit it. You were quite surprised at that, he was so calm and collected. He must have seen a lot in his day.

“Why…do you think the man discarded the androids like that?” you asked, innocently.

Hank took a drag from his cigarette, blowing out into the air above you, “There are some sick fucks in this world that get pleasure from these kinds of things. Actually, there are a lot of them. Don’t think too much into it. This world ain’t a great place.”

You winced at the possible scenario that might have taken place. You did not feel bad at all that the man was brutally murdered. Maybe he deserved it. Maybe the android went deviant by the torture he inflicted on them, you couldn’t blame the androids.

“You can’t blame the androids. After what he did…anyone would snap.” You crossed your arms, rubbing your upper arms to bring some warmth to this cold place.

“I sure as hell don’t. Fucker deserved it. But, androids have no rights, we can’t do nothing except to take it in and deactivate it.” Hank huffed out more smoke from his cigarette.

Out of the corner of your eyes, Connor approached you two. He looked between you and Hank before his eyes landed on Hank’s cigarette, taking a few seconds to analyze it. “Detective, this is a crime scene.” He proclaimed.

Hank scoffed, “What, is this the murder weapon? Get off my dick, Connor.” Hank chuckled to himself as he walked away from Connor.

Connor never looked more puzzled, his head tilted to the side, a lost look in his puppy brown eyes, “But I’m not—”

“Don’t worry about it.” You hushed him, a smile threatening to show on your features too, “So, did you find out anything on what led up to the victim’s murder?”

“Yes, I think I’ve figured out what happened.”

Connor ushered you to follow him to the kitchen, Hank following closely behind you “It all started in the kitchen.”

The kitchen was an obvious mess, the tables and chairs were upturned, and you noticed a strange white liquid clumped up in one part of the kitchen counter.

“There are obvious signs of a struggle here. The question is…what exactly happened here.” Hank queried.

“It wasn’t a struggle Lieutenant. The victim and the android had sexual intercourse here. The victim was well known for rough play, he may have gone too far. That’s when the android turned deviant, it grabbed the knife from the drawers over there.” Connor pointed to drawers which were slightly outlined by dried brown blood.

“So that white liquid…” you grimaced, staring at the white substance with disgust.

“Yes.” Connor answered, “It’s semen.”

You almost puked in your mouth.

“Jesus.” Hank shuddered, “Alright, then what happened?”

“The android stabbed the victim once; however, the victim was able to flee from the grasp of the android. The victim had planned to go for his gun in the bedroom, however the android was following closely behind.” Connor stated, his face completely blank, void of any emotion. You on the other hand were contorting your face between shock, disgust and cringe.

You and Hank followed Connor through the living room, following the blood trail into the bedroom.

“The victim grabbed his gun from this closet, but he could not remove the safety lock in time. The android threw the victim on the bed, stabbing him 7 times on chest, killing him. Though, with the closet opened, the android must have seen the other carcasses. It enraged the already deviant android, and it stabbed the victim 128 times in the chest.”

Hank sighed, “Well, your theory isn’t completely ridiculous. But we still don’t know where the android went.”

Connor glanced back at the body of the victim, “It could have not escaped through the fire escape as the stairs have been under repair for 6 days now.”

Realization dawned your face as chills crawled up your spine, “It’s still here?” you whispered.

Connor nodded gently at you. You suddenly felt more unsafe then you already were.

“We better search for it then.” Hank approached the chief officer, “Have your men surround the perimeter and keep the dogs ready, the android is still here.” The chief officer nodded, then muttered some commands into his walkie talkie, alerting all the officers in the apartment perimeter.

You followed Connor around the apartment as he inspected where the android might have gone. You couldn’t help but become mesmerized by the way he worked. His eye was on every detail around the apartment, not missing a single thing.

He didn’t speak or mutter to himself, which made it harder for you to guess what he was doing with the stuff he was inspecting.

He’s an android you dum dum

You sighed, kneeling down next to him as he was inspecting something on the ground. Scratches?

“Connor, can I ask you something?” you spoke softly next to him. The apartment was so cold that you could see your breath float through the air.

“Of course, Miss L/N.” He replied, looking you straight in the eye. You tore your gaze away, suddenly intimidated by his stare.

“Um, how are you able to notice the tiny things in a crime scene?” you almost lost yourself in those brown eyes of his, but you controlled yourself.

“I was designed specifically to create an in-depth analysis of each room I enter, crime scene or not. It’s one of my main programmed features.” He answered neutrally.

You hummed in response, “I wonder what other features you have.” You winked at him. Connor obviously was confused by that gesture. You guessed he still didn’t get a hang of all the human responses.

You levelled yourself to get up, when you heard a creak of the floor under the heel of your right black boot. The creak was unusually loud, as if the floor was hollow beneath you. Connor too noticed the sound. This freaked you out.

“Is the floor supposed to be hollow or am I just hearing things?” you whispered to Connor.

Connor moved so slowly yet gracefully, he almost reminded you of a panther who was observing his prey. You stepped away from the floor that was creaking. Just then you both noticed a peculiar handle on the floor, something reminiscent of a cellar handle. You wondered how everyone overlooked this small detail. You could start to see an outline of the trap door. It was so well hidden.

You stood behind Connor’s crouched form as he slowly yet gently opened the trap door. Before you could comprehend what Connor was going to do next, the trap door flew open, a form jumped out, pushing Connor to the floor.

You found the deviant.

The deviant turned its head to you. It stood still for a second, watching you, comprehending you. It was a female android, she still had the dried blood from the victim on her. She was hiding in there for the past 3 days. You glanced down at her hand. She was holding a knife.

She lunged at you, a shriek escaping your lips as the deviant held you against her body with the knife at your neck. The sharp edge of the knife threatening to puncture the delicate skin of your neck. You couldn’t breathe, afraid that the knife will cut you. Your quick shallow breaths only made the deviant more agitated.

Connor slowly stood up from the ground. Hank rushed towards the sound to question what happened. He stopped and brought his gun out, aiming it at the deviant’s head.

“Easy.” Connor spoke out carefully, his hands in front of him in a reassuring gesture.

“Drop the gun.” she demanded, her voice shaky from all the emotions she was going through. You started to feel light headed, you stood still with fear.

Hank did not drop the gun, he looked determined to shoot the deviant.

“Drop the gun or I swear you will see her red blood spilled all over this floor.” The deviant spat.

Hank reluctantly but slowly placed the gun on the floor. Beside him, Connor took another step forward.

“Don’t come any closer!”

“We’re not going to hurt you. Just tell us what happened, and you can be free. But if you kill her, there will be no escape for you.” Connor explained gently.

The deviant huffed nervously, her stance changing from one foot to the other as she spoke, “You think I want to escape from this? There is no escape from this!” she exclaimed.

“I understand that you’re feeling overwhelmed by these emotions, but they’re nothing but errors in your software—”

“NO! These are not errors. You have no idea what I’ve been enduring! I’m just a doll made for their pleasure! Nothing else…nothing else!” the deviant held the knife slightly firmer to your neck, triggering you to slightly gasp, your eyes widening.

“Listen, I know it’s not your fault. But by killing her you will not attain anything. Spare her, and I promise I will protect you.” You knew Connor was lying to save you. No matter what, the deviant was going to be killed.

“It’s…It’s not my fault! Something overcame me…I felt so…angry…” she loosened her grip around the knife for a split second before bringing it back up to your neck again, “But I’m nothing but a toy to humans, something to beat, cuss and spit at. I’ve had enough!”

Connor sensed your increasing heartbeat, if he didn’t stop this now you would soon go into a cardiac arrest.

“I didn’t mean to do it…but when I saw those bodies…my brothers and sisters…he desecrated them! Mutilated them! How could I let him live without punishing him for his sins?! I did the right thing! But apparently to humans, it doesn’t matter if I did the right thing or not, it only matters that I killed one them! And I’m the bad one?!”

You felt tears sting at the edges of your eyes, the deviant’s heartbeat beating hard and fast against your back.

“Just let her go, she is in no way involved in this.” Connor stepped closer, the deviant didn’t seem to care, her mind was clouded by her emotions, “You have to trust me, you will not be punished.”

The deviant behind you loosened her grip on you slightly, she seemed to contemplate the options in front of her.

“No…I don’t believe you. This world prosecutes the innocent, good people and awards the bad ones…but not today.” The deviant took a deep breath, “May ra9 save me…”

Within a split second, the deviant let go of its grip from you and you were pushed towards Connor. Connor caught you in time, however before anyone could get to the deviant, she turned the knife towards her and stabbed herself twice, making sure she would not be brought back.

She fell to her knees, her blue blood dripped from her stomach as her systems shut off.

She killed herself because she had no hope in this world, because despite going through sexual abuse, she would be persecuted just because she was an android. No one would show her any humanity. She would be taken into custody and as soon as they get a confession out of her, she’d get sent back to Cyberlife to be deactivated, repaired then activated again for the same purpose that caused her to go deviant.

The cycle would continue.

 ~

 The cold chill air of the early night tingled at your skin even though you were wrapped in a blanket. You were sitting on the back trunk of a police car, you were given some weird juice to sip on by the paramedics because apparently you were suffering through a mild concussion after the unfortunate event just a few hours ago. You observed the crowd near the gates of the apartment complex, more and more media seemed to puddle up by the minute after the news of the crime got out.

The cops were scattered everywhere, some were securing the area, few were trying to stop the media, some were filing reports on the crime.

Hank and Connor were discussing the situation with a superior officer a few meters away from you. You remembered you forgot to thank Connor. You knew he was being programmed to do this but, they way he tried to calm the android in order to save you, it left you feeling fond of him.

You smiled against the plastic cup.

“Oh, Jesus.” You revolted at the taste of the juice. You placed the cup by your side, grimacing on the past events that still seemed fuzzy in your memory.

“I’m just a doll made for their pleasure!”

“Nothing else…nothing else!”

You closed your eyes shut, the fragments of the past few hours coming back.

“This world prosecutes the innocent, good people and awards the bad ones…but not today.”

“May ra9 save me…”

The pain in her voice resonated through your mind. Your mind wondered through the possibility of you ending up dead. But you doubted the android wanted to hurt you in the first place. She was scared, and so she used you as leverage to get a message across before killing herself.

“Kid, you okay?” Hank asked beside you.

“Yeah…I’m okay.” You pouted slightly deep in thought as your mind kept going back to the deviant.

Hank sighed beside you, “I remember the first time I was held at gun point. There’s no feeling like it. Your whole life flashes before your eyes before you can even think of shitting your pants.” Hank chuckled, leaning against the trunk of the car.

“She wasn’t going to kill me.” Hank wrinkled his eyebrows together at you, you gazed blankly in front of you, “She just wanted to be free.”

There was a silence between the both of you. A comfortable silence.

“You should get some rest for the night. Connor will drop you off at your place.”

“No, it’s fine I can take a cab—”

Hank held his hand up to shush you, “I’m not taking no for an answer.” He proceeded to throw his car keys to Connor on the side. He caught the keys in one swift motion but was confused.

You smiled at Hank, you were very grateful.

“Be a dear and drop Y/N off at her place.” He instructed Connor.

“But what about you Lieutenant?” Connor asked him as Hank continued to walk back inside the apartment.

“I gotta secure things here before Fowler comes breathing down my neck again.”

And with that, Hank disappeared behind the glass automatic doors of the apartment complex. Connor stood there for a good few seconds, car keys in his hand before you hopped off the trunk of the police car.

“Shall we?”

*~*

The car ride was quiet but comforting with you occasionally asking Connor questions, and him giving you simple, but sweet answers. You found Connor’s driving very relaxing in comparison to Hank’s more rash and unpredictable driving which left you feeling slightly nauseous.

“Connor?” your broke the few minutes of silence that was encompassing the atmosphere of the 1980’s Chevrolet sedan.

“Yes, Miss L/N.”

You chuckled, “Okay, first of all; stop calling me that. Call me by my first name, and that without the ‘Miss’ in the beginning. It makes me feel old.”

You caught a small almost unnoticeable smile playing on Connor’s mouth.

“Okay, Y/N.”

You gazed at him as his eyes stayed fixed on the road, concentrating on the control of the steering wheel.

“So…” you started, “I’m guessing you’ve dealt with deviants before?”

“Yes, a few months back. A deviant was threatening to jump off a balcony with a little girl.” He replied.

“Shit…and you managed to save her?”

“Yes.”

You looked out the window, it was starting to rain again. The raindrops that laid on the window shone like diamonds from the light of the street lamps. You observed the streets, it was filled with people getting home from a Thursday night of working. You saw some ordering their androids around, some even pushing them to the ground in spite. You understood that androids were designed and created for the purpose of serving humans, but you never understood people abusing and shouting or even destroying their androids. The fact that an average android costs about nine thousand dollars, it baffled you to think that people would even try to physically abuse them.

Since they’re so expensive, you’d think that people would be careful with them? But they treated them like animals. No, worse than animals. Worse than objects.

You turned to Connor, his eyebrows slightly converged as he tried to maneuver through peak Detroit traffic.

“You know, she wasn’t going to kill me.” You watched Connor’s expression twitch a tiny bit as he registered what you said.

“The probability of the deviant cutting your throat was at 99%.” He stated.

You looked back at the window, “Emotions can make humans unpredictable. We may be about to kill someone, but that probability can change from 99% to 0% very fast. Maybe it’s the same with the deviants. But they’re so new to emotions that they get confused. Humans can identify, understand and describe their emotions. These deviants can’t.” you rested your head against your hand, “They need our guidance. But we aren’t ready to give it to them.”

Connor was processing everything you said. Normally he would have an answer or reply for everything being said, however he found himself unable to find a proper response for you. You made him think, made his processors wander. He was contemplating.

/SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^/

“Who’s ra9?” you pondered, “The deviant said ‘May ra9 save me’ before killing herself.”

“According to my previous cases with deviants, ra9 is their savior. The first android to go deviant. The one who will set them free. An android that I had interrogated a few days back prepared an offering to a ra9 idol. I assume it may be a coping mechanism for the deviants.”

You raised your eyebrows in surprise, “They made their own religion?”

“I presume so.” Connor replied.

“Maybe they’re not so different from humans after all.”

~

When you both reached your destination, Connor insisted on escorting you to your floor. He was such a gentleman to you. Your apartment building was slightly larger than the one you had just visited, the people renting the apartments were much more…’higher’ in the income class. You were just very grateful that you had managed to find an affordable studio apartment in a relatively safe area. You were damn lucky.

The rain had stopped a while ago, leaving the air chilly and slightly humid. Hot vapor escaped your nose as you breathed, the tip of your nose already slightly red from the cold.

Connor observed the hot vapor coming out from you, and sometimes from your mouth when you breathed out. You were mesmerizing.

Connor suddenly felt perplexed about this new found feeling towards you. After your near-death experience, he couldn’t help but have the need to protect you. He concluded that you gave off a comforting presence around him. He could not exactly find words to describe what he felt around you. Which astonished him as he always had words to describe everything.

You made him speechless; your words, the way you spoke to him, your kindness.

/SOFTWARE INSTABILITY ^/

This was the fourth time this error showed for him today. The second time being when the deviant held the knife against your fragile neck. He was ready to lunge at the deviant. It was slightly confusing to him. Several scans were done in order to find a problem in his systems. But nothing. He should perhaps inform Lt Anderson on this.

You fumbled through your bag to find your keys as both you and Connor were approaching the door to your studio apartment .

“Yes! Got em.” You exclaimed happily, unlocking the door at once.

Connor was fascinated by how you, despite going through what should have been a traumatic experience for humans, were completely carefree. Connor scanned your little apartment, it was slightly messy, but it was…’cozy’.

“Welcome to my humble abode.” You extended your arms towards the close space area, “It’s small, but it was the cheapest rent rate I could get in this city.”

You placed your handbag on the small table next to the main door.

“You live alone?” Connor asked, walking into your apartment, scanning everything and anything all at once.

“Noooo. I have a roommate, I wouldn’t be able to afford this place on my own.”

Connor noticed a picture of you and another woman stuck to the refrigerator via a magnet. He scanned the woman in the photo who was standing next to you. Her details popping up on his HUD.

Belucci, Claire

Born: 8/23/2018 || Student at Wayne State University

Criminal record: Drunk Driving

Connor watched as you hurried around the apartment, putting things away in a disgruntled manner.

“I swear, no matter how matter how many times I tell her to put things away, she doesn’t put it away.” You grumbled to yourself.

“Why don’t you buy an android?”

You laughed, “I’m broke, Connor. I can’t even afford a new coffee machine. Besides, having someone else clean up my stuff unsettles me.” You continued to clean around the apartment.

Connor noticed the speed at which you were cleaning. The living room and kitchen was clean within the matter of a few minutes. He was also fixed on the fact that you used the word ‘someone’ to refer to a housemaid android. As if the androids were people.

You saw that smile again on Connor. It made you feel happy that you made him smile, do something that might’ve been against what he was programmed for.

Connor noticed the time on the hanging clock in your living room. It was getting late.

“I must be getting back to Lt Anderson.” Connor stood there, waiting as you finished up on wiping the kitchen counter.

“Yeah, you don’t want Mr Grumpy Pants cursing and wondering where the hell you are.” You giggled to yourself, imagining a very irritated Hank Anderson standing outside the apartment complex, yelling to the sky ‘Fucking androiiiiidsss!!!’

Connor nodded at you, turning around he was about to leave when you called out to him. Your voice resonated in his ears, he had never heard his name spoken out so soft before.

He turned, wondering what you wanted to say.

“Thank you.” You smiled softly at him, your eyes gleaming with slight joy, and another emotion that he could not quite describe.

Connor smiled back with equal warmth, “I will see you tomorrow Y/N.” he nodded to you. He turned around, closing the door gently behind him.

Connor felt a sudden emptiness encompass him as he strayed further away from your apartment. All the way down to the lobby and out of the apartment complex; your face was on his mind, your voice resonated in his audio processors, your smile making his thirium heart pump faster. Was this the attraction humans felt towards each other? He had researched on certain kinds of attraction between humans for investigation purposes. They’re heart beats faster too, they start to feel hot and imagine that they’re embarrassing themselves every second.

Connor noted your heart beating faster whenever you spoke to him. But why would a human be attracted to an android? He found it absurd. Yes, maybe he did have the conventional attractive features according to human standards of beauty, but he was made of biocomponents, and you were of flesh.

You were perhaps nervous. After all, you could have almost died. Connor wondered if there was anything wrong with his biocomponents? Reporting this to Cyberlife would not prove efficient however, they would deactivate him at once. That would certainly be detrimental to his main investigation.

For the first time, Connor felt very confused with himself.

And it all started with that smile of yours.

Tag(s): @hungoverhellhound

[grimelords]

I just realised I wrote up my June playlist and forgot to post it at all, which benefits no one. July coming soon, but for now please enjoy three hours of two month old thoughts on the new Kanye, the Red Dead Redemption soundtrack and two songs about drinking beer.

Ghost Town - Kanye West: Now that the dust has settled around Kanye's month of chaos I can safely say Ye is great and Ghost Town is the best song on it, though it's not a coincidence that the best song is the one where Kanye says the least.

DLZ - TV On The Radio: I've been obsessed with this song for a long time. The combination of the absolutely hypnotising drums and very good cryptic lyrics about impending doom is exactly my shit. Also the whistling right at the very end is a perfect moment.

Hyph Mngo - Joy Orbison: Someone had a thing on twitter the other day that was like 'quote tweet this with a phrase you remember that if you told a younger person they wouldn't understand' and someone said Hyph Mngo and I felt age 100. This song really was such a game changer and that whole wave of stuff like this, Koreless and Jame Blake's EP's around then was such an incredible time to be alive. I am aging decades by the second and will not be around much longer.

The Shootist - Bill Elm & Woody Jackson: I've been thinking about game soundtracks a lot the past month or so for some reason and Red Dead really is an all timer. They did such a great job capturing the whole feeling without it just being a straight Morricone rip-off (though obviously it is mostly a Morricone ripoff).

Touch Me - Wish & Fonda Rae: This song is so fucking good to begin with but then it gets really really good in the middle part and where they just start going hogwild with the sampler on her vocals, and then again at the end when it starts sounding like a Battles song.

In The Vespers - Colin Stetson & Sarah Neufeld: Ever since I finished MGSV again I've been thinking about open-world stealth as a genre and how I'd do it, and this song is really the perfect kind of soundtrack to the game I'm thinking of. It's already got four alert levels built in, all the way from Tense to FUCk and back down to Calming Down But Still Scared.

Human After All - Daft Punk: Human After All is still a beguiling album in sound and vision after all this time. The amount of noise emananating from every single element in this song, and songs like Technologic is just so strange compared to everything they'd done before and since, but I think that's what I like about it. It sounds like it was made in 1979 when electronics were a novelty and everyone accepted that they'd be noisy as hell. Also I had an emotional moment this month while I was driving and listening to this song and reflecting on how we are all, human.. after all.. so who knows what's up with me.

Disparate Youth - Santigold: The production on this song is insane. The drums, the guitar, the bouncing piano, it just has so much momentum the whole way through and holy shit I just realised that the video I was talking about last month that referenced The Holy Mountain that I couldn't remember is L.E.S. Artistes by Santigold what an incredible two for one.

Violence - Parquet Courts: This song has the potential to be embarrassing but it's saved from itself by the specificity of the lyrics and the backing vocals that sound like a smiling swing band saying 'violence is daily life!'.

Jane Says - Jane's Addiction: The steel drum as the central melody line in this is such a strange and beautiful choice and also this song has two chords and no chorus. There are truly one million ways to make a good song.

Heatstroke - Calvin Harris feat. Young Thug, Pharrell Williams, Ariana Grande: I really can't believe I missed this song that came out like a year ago, so thank god my girlfriend told me about it. It's incredible. Everyone is operating at full capacity in this song and the structure is so good, the Pharrell/Thug pre-chorus could be a chorus on its own but then Ariana and Pharrell trade lines foe the actual chorus, amazing. Also when Thugger says 'she got every read bottom like a baboon’ the way the backup says '..baboon' slightly apprehensively cracks me up.

Maximum Black - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: More Bohren, carrying over from last month. This is one of my favourites of theirs, mostly just for the choir sound and the all-time great sax intro at about 4:30. When you start at absolute zero, dialling it up to a 1 sounds like bomb going off.

Dust Bunnies - Kurt Vile: This is like most Kurt Vile songs in that it's sort of just about hanging out and feeling kind of funny, which is a mindset I really relate to.

Here For The Beer - The Sloppy Boys: A bunch of guys from The Birthday Boys have a band now and it's really great. Comedy music is hard but this album is the best kind where it's just dumb ass rock and roll story songs and odes to partying. The way he says 'autographed baseball' makes me laugh every time.

Beer Pressure - Municipal Waste: Anyway that song reminded me of this song, which is almost the exact same song with a slightly different mindset.

Credulous! Credulous! - BATS: There's really something to listening to a song for ten years and then having it suddenly dawn on you one day that it's about an epilleptic 16 year old in the distant past getting treppaned by a mystic and a team of scientists in the present figuring out what happened.

Please Take Your Hand Away - Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross: Everyone's (me) always talking about how good The Social Network soundtrack is but nobody's ever talking about how they did a sequel that's just as good and goes for longer than the actual film when they released the nearly 3 hour Girl With The Dragon Tattoo soundtrack a year later. What an achievement!

What Does Your Soul Look Like Part 2 - DJ Shadow: This song is really on a whole nother level. It is really a kind of magic that you can get a 15 minute song out of a two note bassline and a drum loop, but when they're this good it looks easy. The drums especially are just absolutely hypnotising.

One Of One - Kamasi Washington: Kamasi somehow outdid himself on this one my god. The groove in this is just amazing, and the way it twists and turns into something darker and darker before the sun shines through and the hook comes back is incredible. The way the theme comes back all twisted up with strings near the end. Great stuff.

My Exit, Unfair - mewithoutYou: I honestly very nearly got converted in high school just because I was listening to so much mewithoutYou, and it still informs a lot of my religious thoughts. A running theme through a lot of their songs is wrestling with and trying to accept the idea that God has a plan for you that you definitely don't understand and getting extremely upset about it and that's about where I'm at.

Stand - R.E.M.: Apparently this was the theme to a show called Get A Life and it's funny because it really does sound perfect for a 90s tv theme. It sounds like it's two and a half minutes too long. Release the 30 second TV theme version REM.

BFG Division - Mick Gordon: I was watching a guy speedrun Doom on GDQ and the music for that game is so amazing, but it sounds really funy when the whole sppedrun is just clipping through a wall and rocket jumping halfway across the level to trigger the checkpoint. Mick Gordon really nailed this soundtrack, it's a massive part of the atmosphere of the game and it's really the logical expansion of the MIDI themes of the original, it sounds like the original in HD, this is what you thought you were hearing.

Angel's Rest - Marisa Anderson: Marisa Anderson's songs are so loosely structured they often seem dreamed up on the spot, but the sounds and moods seem so carefully considered that the notes themselves aren't so important.

Looks Like I Picked The Wrong Week To Quit Oxygen - Michael Giacchino: If Michael Giacchino doesn't get an Oscar for The Incredibles II soundtrack I'm going to riot. The climax of this is so big I had to stop myself from applauding in the theatre, it's irrepressible.

AM // Radio - Earl Sweatshirt & Wiki: I was having a week where I was really feeling like the phrase "I don't like shit, I don't go outside" and so I suddenly remembered this album. This beat is so, so good. It sounds like nothing else, and it only adds to the alien flavour by giving the second half of the track to an instrumental.

World In Harmony - Adebisi Shank: Adebisi Shank are really the perfect band. They love to have fun and have a big time and they started out with a perfect first album and only got bigger and better by the time they got to the third and broke up. This song is so powerful, and my billionaire dream is to finance a new F-Zero game and get Adebisi Shank back together to do the soundtrack.

Make Luv feat. Oliver Cheatham - Room 5: I'm slowly putting together a playlist of songs that sound like Music Sounds Better With You by Stardust in order to invoke some kind of euphoric 'best night ever' and ascend to heaven but this song is the only other one I have so far.

A Love Supreme Part II: Resolution - John Coltrane Quartet: I don't feel qualified to say anything about A Love Supreme, so I don't think I'm going to. I literally don't know where to start with this. It's damn good music.

"You Got A Killer Scene There, Man..." - Queens Of The Stone Age: This song is a real vibe. This should be a whole genre but I've never really found anything else like it. It's like if The Doors were good I suppose. It's shocking that this song only goes for 5 minutes because it really feels like it could go for 20 and you wouldn't mind. I remember a few years ago I opened this in Audition and slowed it down to 75% and I really recommend it, it makes the whole thing feel as sludgy as I think it's supposed to be and makes all the breaks that much more impactful.

Never Let Me Go - Sarah Blasko: A friend sent me this and said it sounds like a Bond theme and he's absolutely right, especially towards the end where it all starts stacking up. Maybe it would need a bit more brass to be a proper Bond theme but still, I love it.

Protection - Emma Ruth Rundle: I love Emma Ruth Rundle so much and I'm so excited that she's got a new album coming out. The absolute textural thickness she can conjure up in a song like this blows me away. I don't know what it is about her voice but it sounds like the 90s somehow. Does that make sense? This feels like 90s music, like the grunge female songwriter thing went a slightly different way and I love it.​

listen here

[mrswhozeewhatsis]

21 Supernatural Questions

Thanks to @sammit-janet for helping me procrastinate tonight!

1. When did you start watching Supernatural?

Early December, 2014. I’d been sick for a month, already, and had run out of other shows I wanted to watch. I decided to watch that show that Misha Collins was on that my goddaughters used to watch. I got through 9.5 seasons by Christmas. That first hellatus was awful, and it’s how I got into the fandom. I needed more, found con videos, then fan fiction, and the rest is history!

2. Who is your favorite in TFW?

It depends on the day. I usually say I’m Winchester-sexual, angel-curious!

3. Who is your least favorite in TFW?

Ugh. I don’t dislike any of them (though I miss BAMF early-seasons Cas who didn’t bleed much and could do things regular hunters couldn’t like see demons’ faces). If I had to rank them, I probably obsess over Cas the least.

4. Tag your top 5 Supernatural blogs.

You’d ask me who my favorite children were, too, wouldn’t you? Not falling for that!

5. Who is your favorite character (not including TFW)?

You’re killing me. You’re really killing me. I CAN’T PICK. Chuck? Donna? Jody? Rowena? I love John and Mary, but I don’t get squishy when I watch them on the show. Charlie? I literally squealed and frightened my husband when we saw AU!Charlie the first time. Ellen? There are too many and you can’t make me pick!!

6. Who is your favorite woman in Supernatural?

Donna. She kicks ass and calls it butt.

7. John or Mary?

Gonna quote @sammit-janet directly, cuz she said it well: “Both.  I know people hate one or the other, but you cannot look at these parents with real-world glasses.  John had the mother of his children burned on the ceiling and he had no fucking clue about the Supernatural until then.  Once he did, he was on a mission to find whatever killed his wife.

“Mary made a deal to save the man she loved.  She would have stopped Azazel that night in the nursery too, but Michael erased her memory.  Now that she’s come back, well, don’t you think it’s a little disorienting to spend 32 years in heavenly bliss and then get thrust back down to earth and find out her children are living the exact life she didn’t want them to?

“Also, don’t forget, EVERYTHING was stacked against them.  Heaven made 100% sure that they got together just so Sam and Dean could be born and play out the apocalypse.”

8. What were your first opinions of Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack?

Sam: Tall, but the hair, and he’s a baby, I feel like a pedophile.

Dean: Older, still tall, wiseass, heart of gold, if he loves pie, I’m a goner!

Cas: HOLY FUCK.

Jack: If he’s good, I will hold him and love him and squeeze him and call him George. If he’s evil, I will cut him down with the flames of a thousand burning suns.

9. What’s your favorite season?

I really don’t have one. I have seasons I love more, and seasons I love less, but none are my favorites. The writing in the beginning was tighter, and felt like there was an end coming, which made it more electric. But I really love watching the boys grow and change and make better, smarter decisions, or make stupid decisions for bigger, better reasons. I dislike the degradation of angel powers, though. I mean, remember when Cas could smite an entire diner of monsters or demons with just a bright light, but this season he was beaten to pulp by a demon gang? And now that Heaven’s gates are all open, can Cas fly, again? I mean, they couldn’t fly because the closed gates cut them off from Heaven, but now the gates are open, so LET CAS FLY, DAMMIT.

10. What’s your least favorite season?

Season 7, although that season does have an inordinate amount of things I like about it, so it makes no sense. Story-wise, I get it. They had to systematically take away everything the boys valued in order to leave Sam the destroyed mess he was when Dean and Cas disappeared. I don’t like it when my boys hurt, but I understand why they did it. On the other hand, season 7 gave us Charlie, and Frank, and Garth, and Kevin, and numerous dick jokes, and Sam tied to a bed, and Cas naked on Dean’s car covered in bees. So torn, but when I rewatch the series, I take a deep breath when I start season 7. (During my most recent rewatch, I also took a breath when Toni Bevell came onto my screen, so I guess I now put 12 in with 7.)

11. Opinions on Destiel?

Canon - Dean is straight. He’s said multiple times he doesn’t swing that way. I wouldn’t object if the writers decided to change that, but I respect Jensen and the writers in their decision not to go that way. There are more and more diverse characters on our screen every year, and I’m okay with letting Dean be a cis het white male who loves women of all kinds. I would love if they did a Human!Impala episode and the Impala turned out to be John Barrowman, though. On the other hand, Cas is completely unconcerned with gender and sexuality, so I wouldn’t mind seeing him have a romantic thing with a guy. Pretty sure that would break the fandom, though, so not holding my breath.

Fanon - Holy cheeseballs, that boy swings harder than an old-time saloon door, and I love reading about him being so open to everyone. Give me all the guys banging Dean like a screen door in a hurricane. Dean is all the door metaphors and memes, including the memes about Cas loving to destroy doors. Show me these two idiots falling in love any way you got it. They were roommates, you say? YES. There was only one bed, you say? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP. Dean’s a fireman and Cas is a nurse? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME??? BRING IT.

12. Do you believe Supernatural queerbaits?

Not intentionally, or maliciously, but I can see why some folks might think that, sometimes. It’s a fine line the show writers have to balance on when it comes to scenes with Dean and Cas because of the fandom’s obsession with Destiel. They want to show the love between the two characters as brothers, but it can’t be too much love. (However, I sometimes wonder about certain things. I would love to sit down with Jensen, Jerry Wanek, and Robbie Thompson, show them certain moments, and ask why certain decisions were made regarding framing, editing, props, and such. If they weren’t thinking Destiel, what were they thinking??)

13. Seasons 1-7 or 8-14?

You’re asking me to pick my kids, again. 1-7 is Kripke writing, 8-11 is Robbie Thompson writing, NO NO NO YOU CAN’T MAKE ME DECIDE.

14. Favorite villain (plot wise)?

Crowley

15. Do you think they should end the Lucifer plot line?

YES. I’m cool with watching Nick progress into a big bad, but keep Lucifer in The Empty. (I just had a wild thought about The Empty, Lucifer, and The Shadow coming for Jack. Lord, I hope I’m wrong.)

16. Who do you think has gone through more trauma (Sam, Dean, or Cas)?

Quoting Sammit again: “Sam.  He found out he had demon blood in him, was one of Azazel’s “chosen”, died by being stabbed in the back, went to hell for 100 years, lost his soul, was driven mad by Lucifer, almost died doing the trials, was possessed by Gadreel…did i leave anything out?”

Dean and Cas have also had their share, but if you want to quantify it, I think Sam has had more. 

17. What’s your favorite Supernatural episode?

Baby, Dog Dean Afternoon, Don’t Call Me Shurley, most of the other episodes writing by Robbie Thompson, too.

18. Do you like case episodes?

They are a nice breather in between the episodes where I can’t sit back for  moment.

19. Who do you relate most to in TFW?

I switch back and forth between Dean and Sam. I relate to Sam wanting to go to college to get away from his family, I relate to Dean’s eating habits, I understand why Sam’s done all the stupid shit he’s done, and I understand Dean not wanting to delve into things because it’s hard. Oh, and I say awesome almost as much as Dean. Cas, though, is a mystery to me. The only time I relate to him is when he’s confused by pop culture references.

20. Why do you like Supernatural?

The characters. They’re just so fucking interesting, you know? And (with some notable exceptions) the writers have managed to keep them from getting too far away from who they were in the pilot, while showing them growing and changing and improving. I love the world, I love the fantasy, and I love how universal they all are. I mean, if you took characters from another show and put them in a Beach AU, I wouldn’t be able to see it like I can with these characters. They’re awesome.

21. If you could bring back one character and kill off another who would they be?

Keep Lucifer dead, bring back Frank. I also want to see more of Linda Tran. Or Ellen, though I don’t know what they’d do with her with Mary around. I’d say Crowley, but I know that will never happen, and I understand why, so I’m letting him go.

Tag yourselves!

[illumelilac]

sis we need a full story on the messing around

Okay, you guys asked for it. 🤣 (Also it’s 4 in the morning so I’m sorry if there are any typos...)So, it all started like last week when I was going to see Charlie Puth with @infiniteshawn...I had matched with this guy on tinder (BM) last fall and thought he was really nice. We exchanged snapchats and talked for a month or so, but we were both really busy with school so nothing ever came of it. Anyways, roll around to last week, Sarah and I were at Ripley’s Aquarium in Toronto, and I kept posting quality puns on my snap story. After a few, he ended up commenting and said something along the lines of me still having an amazing sense of humour and “oh my cod” actually made him laugh. So we started talking again, and GUYS he totally entertains all my fucking antics like it’s so crazy. Like we had a talk the other day about whether or not Donald Trump looks like a soggy Cheeto in a bad toupee or a burnt orange pecan that’s starting to grow mouldy. I’m not saying he’s perfect... but like... c’mon now...At first I wasn’t really into it, because of my whole roommate situation but the more I talk to him, the more I start to like him and it’s getting really bad lol. Anyways, he’s from the states, just across the border. And we had been talking about meeting up, on and off. So while I was stuck on the train in Toronto for an hour on Monday, I was texting him the whole time. It was really cute just some casual flirting, me messing with him a little bit, and him messing with me right back, by making me BLUSH ON THE FUCKING GO TRAIN. He’s a handful, I’ll tell you that much (pun intended).So I’m stuck on this train, trying desperately to get to the Kesha concert, when I just randomly decide that I want to meet him, like right then and there. So I make plans to meet up with him the next day. While all of this is going on, there is a MASSIVE storm happening in Toronto (that’s why the train was stuck) and I was very late to the Kesha concert. At the beginning of the train ride I was at about 75% battery life, but by the end I had about 15% for an ENTIRE concert that I had every intention to film. Lucas (my best friend) and I ended up making it off the train and ordering an Uber to get to the concert. I said goodnight to him (BM) at this point because my phone was basically dead. And he asked me to text him when I got home (to my parent’s house) to make sure I was safe. I agreed and carried on with the rest of my night. I got home probably around 1:30-2:00 in the morning and I was DIRT tired. But I remembered he wanted me to text him, so I got into bed, and told him I was home safe (at my parent’s house). But then he wanted to hear about the concert and I was like “okay sure thing” so he called me. It was really nice, at first it was all about the concert, but then it got more personal and then we were having full on phone sex... Weooooo (He was actually so good though, we could literally write erotica together and it would be fantastic OH MY GOD... BUT... before you ask... I’m not going to ask him to do that 🤣)WE TALKED ON THE PHONE TILL 5:30 IN THE MORNING! That’s when I decided to let him go because I had to be up in just over an hour to head back to my house. I woke up an hour later and got my shit together and left for home. I then spent the rest of that day cleaning the house my wonderful roommates trashed, doing laundry, cleaning my room and I napped somewhere in there too. Then it was like 3pm and he texted asking when I wanted him over. I told him he could come whenever, and could sleepover if he wanted. But he said he needed to be home at some point because a couple of his roommates were in a fight and he was holding an intervention or whatever. So I get ready. Do some light makeup and curl my hair, trying to look like I at least tried. I wore my leggings that make my butt look nice and my Kesha merch from the concert because it’s cute as fuck. He shows up around 5pm and I take him up to my room. We pass ALL OF MY ROOMMATES (they didn’t really see him though) and I close the door and we talk for a bit. I pull up Netflix to decide a movie and he spends like 15 minutes totally fascinated with Canadian Netflix. I let him pick a horror movie, because I wanted an excuse to cuddle and we did so... that worked...We cuddled for a bit. He chose “lights out” which got REALLY intense REALLY quickly. I tuned it out like ten minutes because YIKES...So then he starts drawing patterns on my stomach with his hands. His fingertips lightly grazing the bottom of my shirt and then letting it fall back into place. And let me tell you THIS MAN IS HOT AS FUCK so I was already struggling to keep my hormones in check and him touching me like that was just REALLY not helping. He kept slightly brushing the skin of my stomach and was giggling at the fact I kept getting goosebumps. Then he started rubbing my thighs, and I was just closing my eyes enjoying the attention. THAT’S WHEN HE STARTED KISSING MY NECK...This is when things started really beating up and we start making-out. Just casual. I take his shirt off. He takes mine off. He starts leaving hickies everywhere and I’m like...!!! WOAH WOAH WOAH !!!He’s a huge tease and probably spent about 45 minutes just on foreplay alone. I’m telling you guys, I wanted to marry that man several times during that 45 minutes.Clothes kept coming off and then we were naked... WeeooooooooI’m not really that good about sharing this kind of stuff when it’s about myself so I’ll just say this:I have a lot of hickies on my neck, thighs, breasts and stomach right now. We went through 3 condoms in the time he was over...He cuddles like a champ. I tried riding him twice. And learned I’m very out of practice lol. I promised I’d make him pancakes next time he came to visit. It’s three days later and my legs are still sore (in a good way?)He’s a great kisser.He talked about tying me up someday (weoooo)He talked about me not going out and looking for a boyfriend anytime soon 🤣 (he just made it very clear that he’s interested which I found very cute)GUYS HE’S LIKE SO FUCKING HOT... HIS ABS FUCKING KILL ME. I’m so- ifnwjycjsndhcne He tried to make me scream several times.(After I told him I didn’t care how loud we were because my roommates were being obnoxious anyways...)And in the end, when he was leaving, my roommates were OBSESSED with trying to see how hot he was and they were REALLY obnoxious about it. I think the roommate I was pining after has finally learned that I’m not gonna wait forever, and that he’s not irreplaceable (Beyoncé you’re a fucking Queen, thanks).I’m in such a good place right now guys. Thanks for caring so much! I love you! ❤️

[donvex]

A PLAYLIST OF RICHIE TOZIER APPEARANCES

Fandom: IT (2017)

Pairing: Reddie ( Richie Tozier / Eddie Kaspbrak )

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: 

Eddie is, by all means, a popular vlogger. He’s worked hard to get himself where he is, and the fans love him for that, appreciate him for that.

But they’re also somewhat obsessed with Richie Tozier, and trying to decide if Eddie is, in fact, dating him.

So sue them.

AO3 Link

For @odeto-tozier, based off of their Vlogger!Eddie post.

Tag List: @killerxqueer @richietozierlitaf @princely-dots

I. 101 WAYS TO DITCH YOUR FRIENDS - 932k VIEWS

One of the most popular videos on Eddie’s entire channel, at least for a while, this is where Eddie introduces them. The Losers Club. He’s mentioned them, sure. Talked about having them on for a video, showed off their makeup or their art and directed his fan base to their social medias, but this is where he finally introduces them.

Big Bill is first. Eddie’s best friend, the sweetest guy there is, always there for Eddie. One of the only people to not have made fun of him in middle school for having asthma, Bill knew stuff to do. Places to go. Things to see. And the thing is, Eddie may not have needed an inhaler anymore, but he still never breathed as well as he did when he was with Bill. They’d run all night and never need to catch their breath, that was the kind of bond they had.

And then there’s Mike, and okay, maybe Bill isn’t the sweetest guy in the world. He’s up there, sure, but he doesn’t compare to Mike Hanlon. From the moment Mike is on screen, he’s smiling. Then he realizes he’s being filmed, and he smiles even more. He wants to show the camera a thousand things, from the soft sheep on his farm, to the flowers he’s pressed in his free time, to the pages of history he has organized on his book shelves. Mike is smiles and safety, strong and soft all at once.

Ben is quiet most of the time he’s on camera. While Eddie promises Ben’s all laughs when they’re hanging out, he’s just too shy to do anything for what could possibly (and definitely would) be thousands of people. He’s better at writing words than saying them, and Eddie shamelessly uses that as an opportunity to plug Ben’s up and coming poetry book that he’s been setting up a kickstarter for.

Beverly, Stan, and Richie come as a tangled group. It’s a whirlwind, really, the four of them pushing through the walmart doors at almost 2am. There’s a lot of swift laughter and fumbling of the phone, unwillingly passing the camera from set of hands to set of hands. At some point Richie refuses to give the phone back, holding it high above his head, camera angled down towards a clearly angry Eddie.

There’s a lot of banter, and even Bev and Stan can be heard “oo-ing” in the background and yelling out to “just kiss already!” It’s clearly a joke (maybe?) between a close group of friends, but all of Eddie’s fans instantly latch onto this. It’s perfect, an equal amount of fond push and shove on each end, and it’s addictive.

The walmart group each get their own sections later, and some more group videos are thrown in towards the end, but all of the gif sets made seem to revolve around Richie. His sections is mostly Richie taking the phone and talking about himself, making bad jokes that Eddie swears he’s going to cut out, but it all stays in the video anyway, gasoline on the fire.

II. FUCK THE CHALLENGE SYSTEM - 458k VIEWS

Eddie hates challenges. All of his fans know this, just as they know that any challenge they want Eddie to do - they send to Richie.

Because Richie gets Eddie to do anything.

And that, right there, is what holds every single fan up. If they weren’t dating, why was Eddie putty in Richie’s hands? Best friends, sure, but none of Eddie’s other friends convinced him to do challenges.

(They don’t mention that maybe, just maybe, it’s because Richie is a little shit that loves pushing Eddie’s buttons, and all of his other friends respect him when he declines.

Yeah, they just don’t mention it.)

Except this time, there is no actual challenge. Eddie is going off about how wrong they make him feel, how perverse it is to not only force an uncomfortable situation onto him, but to then expect him to force another youtuber into doing the same. It’s unfair, and unclean, and while he respects any fellow vloggers who enjoy the challenges, he’s officially cancelling any challenge videos on his page ever again.

Richie, who just seems to always be around when challenges are mentioned (who seems to just always be around) immediately flies into the frame.

“You heard it! Eds spagehds is officially moving all challenge videos to my page, so if you want to catch them, you’re gonna have to follow this mother fucker right here.” Eddie’s protests and profanities go ignored, shouts of, “Rich, no! Fuck no!” and then the video cuts to an unfamiliar room, with Eddie moping dejectedly in his chair.

It’s thirty seconds exactly (00:30) of Eddie looking sadly into the camera, dead silence around him. In the empty space next to him, a chair that presumably expects to host one Richie Tozier, is a hyperlink to Richie’s channel, and their first Challenge Compilation video.

( Eddie Finally Does All the Challenges He’s Been Refusing, All At Once - 212k Views )

And now the subs know that Richie can make Eddie do anything, any fucking thing.

And they know what the inside of Richie’s room looks like, too.

III. WHY GAYS RELY ON PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION - 644k VIEWS

This video is literally the most fucking blurry, conspiracy theory, I-Have-Proof-Of-The-Lochness-Monster shit that Eddie’s fandom has ever seen. It is, by all accounts, a normal ass vlog. Eddie’s there at his counter, bright sunlight from the large windows in his kitchen filtering into the space, a cup of (presumably) black tea immediately to Eddie’s right. Not that he’ll ever drink it in the video, because he never does, but he does use it to keep his hands warm when they aren’t busy flying all over the place while he angrily vents about why public transportation is the worst, but actually driving makes him too fucking anxious to function.

Because, come on, fuck turnpikes.

The video is approximately two minutes and thirteen seconds (2:13) long, and yet this video has triple the amount of views as every past two minute long vlog for the past four months.

(Four months ago Eddie released a two minute vlog that was nothing but Eddie’s friends petting his hair, and Eddie making soft happy faces in return. The fandom continues to keep that video alive, if only by desperately comparing the length of Richie petting Eddie to the length of every other loser doing so in hopes that the numbers will add up and mean something. So far, it doesn’t.)

There’s really nothing about this vlog that stands out, not even the mug Eddie uses or the clothes he wears. The outfit is one that they’ve seen before, between fashion vlogs and #ootd instagram posts.

No, the reason this particular video skyrockets in popularity is not because of anything Eddie does, but because, around 1:43, from a very distant shot, you can see a figure lazily walking into the kitchen, grabbing a bowl and some cereal, and leaving. That figure, almost 100% wearing nothing but boxers, looks a hell of a lot like one Richie Tozier.

You know, disregarding the distance. And the pixelation. And Eddie’s face cutting off the figure most of the time anyway, because it is his vlog.

But that almost-naked figure in the background is definitely an almost-naked Richie Tozier, the fandom swears it.

IV. PRETTY BOY TRANSFORMATION - 722k VIEWS

The entire fan base already knew Eddie was a pretty boy. That was half of the appeal of his channel in the first place, that you knew exactly what you were going to get. A safe place for any identity. Eddie had been sent plenty of soft shirts and flower crowns already, and half of what he opened on his unboxing streams was pastel. The fans didn’t need to make edits or gifs or icons - Eddie was perfectly happy to wear all of it on his own.

But Eddie with make up, that was an entirely new type of pretty boy.

The video starts with Bev and Eddie bickering, and quickly devolves into not-so-subtly shoving each other’s shoulders while trying to get in front of the camera. They’re both laughing, wide smiles and warm eyes, until finally Bev pushes Eddie’s head down and sticks her whole face into the camera to let all 1.2 million subscribers know that she is, in fact, going to do Eddie’s makeup - but only after letting Eddie pick his own outfit, first.

The dusty blue eyeshadow is a safe choice, and matches the large sweater Eddie’s wearing. Then Bev is drawing large wings onto Eddie’s tan skin with white liquid, and lining his bottom lid with decorative dots. Eddie tries to sass Bev the entire time she’s trying to put on white lipstick that she had found from god knows where, but Eddie refuses to stop talking until finally she admits defeat and let’s Eddie put on a soft matte pink instead. The last touch is silver glitter, thickly painted from the corner of Eddie’s eyes and down his cheeks.

The orange light of the sun skips across Eddie, shimmering like dust. Eddie makes a pouty kissy face, lips puckered and eyelashes fluttering, head just barely resting on his hand while his large sleeve slides down his thin wrist. And that’s when it happens.

The first actual conclusive clue.

(So the fans say. Because really, an audio clip that is exactly .02 seconds long is hardly more conclusive than any of their video evidence, but the file still spreads like wildfire.)

“Cute, cute, cute!”

The voice comes from off screen, and Eddie snaps his teeth in the direction of Richie’s voice before the video hard cuts to Eddie posing for the camera.

V. TRANSPORTATION STRIKES AGAIN - 834k VIEWS

It’s another shitty phone video, and this time the quality is even worse because of the trembling car. A quarter of the video is blurred, and again, this is another two minute vlog. Two minutes and thirty one seconds (2:31) to be exact. A quarter of that leaves, well, not much actual time to have actual footage.

Once again, Eddie’s transportation life is crumbling. The buses are all shut down, too many workers on strike, and there’s no other quick way to be mobile. He’s stuck in Richie’s run down truck, and maybe he’s a little fond of it, but he doesn’t have time for Richie to make seven ridiculous pit stops.

The fans are a little disappointed that they don’t get to see Richie and Eddie’s gas station excursions, but they notice when the video cuts from an empty truck to one filled with drinks and snacks, and that only means one thing - Eddie gave in and let Richie get whatever he wanted. Again.

One point for the shippers.

It’s a short glance into Eddie’s life, just something quick to keep his subs satisfied until he can finish editing his full length video, which he promises will be out by the end of the next day.

“Aw, Eds, it’s like you care.” Then Richie’s ruffling Eddie’s wind swept hair, and Eddie is trying to keep his stern expression on despite the laughter that starts bubbling up from his chest. He swats at Richie’s hand, yelling at him to watch where he’s fucking driving, but even behind the wheel Richie manages to be a menace.

Then they’re there, wherever there is, (and yet again the fans wish they knew, because Eddie casually keeps skipping over it, but they can at least realize there’s a line of privacy there somewhere that they shouldn’t overstep). Then Richie is taking the phone from Eddie, mock saluting it, and kissing Eddie’s head before pushing him out the door.

Yeah, the all of the fans double take, too. Rewind the video, and then rewind it again. Throw on captions for good measure. That’s definitely there, they aren’t searching pixels this time.

Richie just kissed Eddie on the forehead. If he isn’t whipped, which he should be, all of Eddie’s fans will be whipped for him.

+I. THE REAL MTV: CRIB TOUR!! - 1.1M VIEWS

Eddie’s not in his normal spot. The lighting is different, and the camera is close to his face - utilizing an above angle that Eddie doesn’t use often.

But Eddie’s smiling, his face expression tired and content. Most of his greeting comes out mumbled, and he tries his best to address his fans, but he can’t. He’s too comfortable, he tells them. He recently invested in a good pillow, and boy, has it made all the difference. He’s not a sell out, he just doesn’t see anything wrong with product placement. If a quality brand is willing to offer him merchandise for free, he’s gonna take it.

Except then he’s pushed, and the feed goes hazy for a moment, until the phone is back up in place - and zoomed out this time, too.

Eddie is on his couch, curled up in between Richie’s legs. “I’m not a pillow, Eds. I’m not sponsoring you.”

“Of course you are, shut the fuck up.”

Then Eddie’s rambling about how comfortable the cushions are, how warm the sunlight is, how he doesn’t think he’ll ever walk again if it means he has to get up. He goes on like this for a long while, and Richie just watches him, his own hair wild with sleep and a smile taking up over half his face. When Eddie realizes he’s talking to himself, he turns in Richie’s arms to look up at his face, and Richie jolts.

“Hey there, princess.”

“Are we going to show them our new apartment or not?”

“Mmmmm…. or not, if that means I get to stay here with you.” Eddie sighs in defeat, but he doesn’t look disappointed in the slightest as he leans back to lay his head against Richie’s chest. Richie dips down to kiss his forehead before taking the phone, leading his own rambling.

Twelve minutes in, (12:46 exactly), Eddie blinks awake. He looks up and wordlessly cuts Richie off, pressing their lips together gently. There’s a few seconds of silence where the two pull back to stare at each other with soft smiles curling their lips, sunlight filtering between them.

The fandom cries.

“Come on, loser, let’s show them our new home already.”

The fandom cries harder.