#literally exhausted but the vibes are GOOD!!!!
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"That's wild they canceled it! Like, who cancels a show about serial killers? That's literally peak entertainment right there," she shook her head. At work, fellow nurses would huddle around their phones, geeking out over the latest true crime podcasts and documentaries. Like seriously, what was it about healthcare workers and their obsession with murder mysteries? The network were missing out by canceling a good show. "Real talk? I never planned it. I was that girl who'd rather binge-watch Netflix with a pizza than think about changing diapers," she giggled. "But then Leilani happened, and it's like... everything clicked. You know how people say having kids changes you? They're not lying. Now I'm out here singing âLet it Goâ and âHow Far Iâll Goâ in the grocery store without shame and finding Cheerios in my purse." She grinned, remembering the chaos of motherhood. "It's exhausting and messy, and some days I'm running on pure caffeine, but honestly? I wouldn't change it for anything. That little girl is my whole vibe now."
"It's about how they first went about learning about serial killers and kind of making a manual of how they analyze them to this day. They have actors who are replicating those interviews with some of the biggest serial killers." She didn't want to give too much away because the parts that came to mind were the best ones and she wouldn't be able to explain it as well as it was portrayed. "It got cancelled after the first or second season so that's sad. I think everyone is collectively angry about it but it's worth a watch." The latter documentary she mentioned was equally as good but it seemed her friend had told her the same. "That does sound chaotic and tiring." Sienna was so far removed from having kids that the mere thought of it felt tiring. "Did you always want to be a mom or did you just embrace it when it happened?"
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IM HERE !! give the people (me) â promise me youâll still be here when i wake up. ��� for⌠Margie and Benny! :)
HI POET!!!!!! thank you *so* much for sending in this!!! it is highly appreciated in my lil corner of the world and terribly sorry it has taken me quite some time to get to as well!!! my summer has been so chaotic and busy - but! we are here now!!! THIS WAS SUCH A GOOD PROMPT!! I ATE IT UP!!! and plus benny and margie are both just being absolute sweethearts here! set in the time period where margie takes a nasty hit in Silver Bullets and it basically sends everyone spiraling. here's a look at the first night she's awake :) enjoy!!!
it was a wonder
(a/n): margie and benny being the sweetest peaches out there around each other, despite margie's clear and evident pain and benny's want to take all that pain away from her. absolutely. sobbing. them them them. anyway......im surviving the end of an internship so please enjoy my rare appearances here and there lmao. AND -- please enjoy for the margie x benny enjoyers!! <3
Despite being so far from the States, she almost felt like a small child again. In the way of, when she was sick, her mother and father doted on her life incessantly in a way that had made her for more loved than ever.
Caring for someone at their worst. Despite anything else.
Margie hadn't moved in over a day after coming out of the coma - at least they had said it was a coma. The nurses and the Doc hadn't been entirely sure what had been going on but assumed her body had been defeated after the prop blast that had exploded on top of the turret.
Everything hurt, her vision felt a little fuzzy still, and there was a persistent, deep ache in her shoulder and hip area that made her entire right side feel like it was entirely detached from her body.
"Here we are." Margie looked up and found one of the nurses - Charlotte or Charlie, one of the sweetest nurses there was on base - coming towards her with a plate, piled with eggs and toast, despite the fact it was nearly 2100. Margie couldn't fathom anything more than simplistic food on her churning stomach and was grateful for the sight.
"Plain scrambled eggs, some toast with some butter, should settle your stomach," Charlie said, settling on the edge of her bed with a smile, "how are you feeling?" Margie gratefully shifted her head with a weak smile and nodded.
"Thanks, Charlie," Margie managed out in a hushed whisper, voice hoarse, "I'm doing okay." Charlie gave her a knowing look and Margie dropped the facade.
"Do you have any more pain meds I can take?"
"I'd eat something first," Charlie said with a gentle smile, her face glowing even when she'd clearly been working all day, "we can give you a stronger dosage without you feeling queasy. Eat up, and then I can give you some more. That stuff from earlier should be wearing off soon anyway." Margie looked to her and nodded, shifting a bit uncomfortably and evidently with twinging pain. Everything hurt. That's just what it was at this point. All over.
"Sir, visiting hours are over." a loud voice called from the edge of the Med Bay - it was Virginia Stellhorn - one of the older and more experienced nurses on the ward, who clearly was not enjoying someone trying to disrupt her rules at this time of hour. Margie turned her head a bit to see a figure entering through the doorway and an angry looking Virginia Stellhorn behind him.
That being Captain Benny DeMarco.
"It's 2100, sir! Our patients need their rest, not all this ruckus-"
"I understand." Benny said turning to her as Charlie curiously peaked at Margie with a raised brow. Margie instead couldn't turn her eyes away from the sight of Benny there. "I just need to speak with a Sergeant M. Harlowe."
"Harlowe's in an immense amount of pain and would evidently not enjoy the likes of someone bothering her at this hour, now, would you please, sir-"
"Just for a minute." Benny said, quickly, "IâŚ.I visited and she wasn't awake yet, so-"
"Ginny!" Charlie called standing to her feet with Margie's plate of food, "I think Sergeant Harlowe wouldn't mind a guest, even though it's pretty late. It'd probably help her feel better, too." Margie watched as Benny turned to Charlie and then looked behind her. In an instance, Benny's face lit up with a smile and he raised a hand as if to wave.
If Margie's arms weren't wrapped, with one in a sling, she would've waved back. Instead, she attempted the weakest attempt of a smile that there was and watched as worry dawned his features.
"Charlotte Tarvers, we have rules and regulations to follow around here-"
"I know that, but-"
"Margie!" Benny was calling, moving past the two nurses, eyes set on Margie specifically as he hurried over, slowing down as he got to her cot in the lantern-lit darkness.
As he came to a pause there by the side of her cot, his eyes caught on her legs. Her one leg was covered with the blanket - completely fine - her other leg was wrapped in a makeshift cast, piled with ice along the sides, wrapped tightly and firmly. His eyes slowly crawled past her chest where she wore a loose button up, exposing the wraps around her stomach, slightly bloodied and stiff as she had shifted, before they traveled to her wrapped wrists and arms and shoulders. Her one arm slung in a sling, hands bruised and cut and covered in bandages.
It was a wonder that by the time his eyes had risen to her face, she was smiling - trying to convey the message that she was alright, she was fine, she was alive. She had a nasty cut along her chin, but Charlie had rewrapped it in the morning and she had said it was already healing nicely.
Margie was trying to stay positive. She was determined to get back out as her crew's flight engineer - she wanted to get back to Silver Bullets. Benny slowly took to crouching by her bedside, watching her with those big brown eyes, focusing solely on her face.
"Hey." he said quietly, a smile perking up on his lips.
"Hi." Margie said quietly with a smile, "Someone's quite the eager-beaver." Benny stared at her, the corner of his mouth poking up, eyes filled with a tinge of relief - as if to say, she was okay, okay enough to still make light-hearted jokes. Benny let out a chuckle and shook his head before leaning up against the side of her bed, looking at her with soft eyes.
"Kennedy told me you woke up today, wanted to at least visit before I bedded out," he said quietly, "sorry about the surprise and me, well, barging in back there." Margie grinned at him.
"Don't be sorry," she said with a wider smile, pained slightly as she shifted, "I'm glad you're here. You're quite the sight for sore eyes anyway." Benny tilted his head with a small smile and nodded to her.
"That bad, huh?" he asked her, his voice dripping into a suddenly slightly worried and serious tone, "A face like this?" Margie let out a laugh, before wincing and cringing slightly at her side, her one arm that wasn't as battered going to her ribcage.
Clasping a hand over the bandages, she uncomfortably shifted, before looking at Benny who sheepishly looked at her before looking to where her hand was covering.
"You okay?" he asked her, a tinge of nervousness to his voice, "Beside theâŚ.." Besides the obvious, she thought. She nodded.
"Yeah, yeah," she said, "I'm fine. Honestly. I'll heal up in no time. Get back out to Silver Bullets. I'll be flying soon - I know it." Benny gave her a look - he wasn't convinced.
"You'll heal up first before any of that." he said, giving her a smile, "And make sure you can both walk and have full function of your shoulder, too, alright?" Margie smirked at him.
"Since when did you become so worried about me, Doctor DeMarco?" she asked with a chuckle, wincing again at her side twinging, noticing a tender look cross his face as she took to staring at him.
"Hearing that you were knocked unconscious thousands of feet in the air because of a Kraut prop blast isn't the most comforting thing." Benny said to her, catching her gaze. Margie let out a small breath and then attempted a small smile. If she didn't know better, she could see the tension releasing a bit from his shoulders and the stress lines on his face, loosening up a bit when he was finally sitting there with her.
"What have you been up to since you woke up?" he asked, eyeing the plate of eggs and toast, along with the small bucket beside her, "Eating I hope?" Margie shrugged and then glanced at the plate of food, stomach turning.
"Trying," she said, "stomach's a bit funny-feeling, but it's probably a bit of the pain-meds, too, soâŚ.and Charlie's been great. So. Yeah. Afraid not much." Benny watched her warmly before slowly reaching up a hand and trailing her rather poor-looking blonde hair behind her ear, her sweat-lined forehead hot to the touch as he gave her a smile. He did that again, the touch so welcoming to her body that she was sure if he continued doing that, she'd fall asleep.
"I'll visit everyday, you know," he said quietly, and she stared up at him with a smile and shook her head, "you know I will, silly."
"You don't have to. You have other things going on."
"And this is one of those things." Margie smirked at him. He grinned.
"C'mon, let's get a bit of this in you," Benny said, retracting his hand and moving to the plate, sitting on the edge of the bed before facing her, "we'll go slow. I know your stomach isn't doing the best so, better we take it bit by bit."
"You sound like my mom." Margie said with a wincing chuckle, noticing his face brightening, "Listen, I was home sick a lot. Too many times I took the chance of going out without a coat, ya know? Lake Michigan was cold in those winters - all that wind and snow. Shoulda listened."
"Honored to be in place of a woman like that then." he said and picked up the toast, "Here." Margie looked between the toast and Benny's eyes and then took a small bite. The butter actually tasted really nice.
"Good?"
"Really good, thank you." she said, taking another rather eager bite and then looking up at him as she swallowed the piece down, "I've never loved bread more, I'll be honest." Benny got a laugh out of that as she took another bite.
"Remind me of that again when Christmas rolls around."
"Huh?"
"That you like bread. I'll buy you a loaf."
"Really?" Benny chuckled.
"I'm only kidding," he said with a smile, before meeting her gaze, "but I'd get you a bread loaf if that's what you really wanted." Margie let out a laugh, going to grab at her side again as she looked to him and smiled again, smaller this time.
"The way to my heart, Benny, truly." she said and she noticed Benny looking at her more fondly than he ever had, but took to taking another bite of the toast instead, relishing the feeling the felt good inside her. Actual food inside her stomach that didn't leave her feeling crappy.
The eggs were slightly less appetizing, as they made her stomach turn a bit, but she took down her fill and washed it down with water, all with the dutiful help from Benny who sat by her side and spoon-fed her bit by bit with that quiet smile on his face.
By the time Benny had returned the plate to Charlie and had come back over, Margie could feel herself fading. She felt bad - Benny had come to visit and all she had done was say she was okay (she clearly wasn't), eaten (in which he had spoon-fed her), and now half-fallen asleep (she was telling herself it was fine). Benny came and crouched by the side of her cot again and slowly leaned forward to pull her blanket further up over her body.
"Thanks, Benny." she said quietly, eyes half open as she looked over at him, tucking in the sides and grinning at her.
"I'm yourâŚâŚfriend. Margie, it's what you do." he said with a smile, a bit of hesitancy, "Now, you focus on healing up. With food in you, get some rest and focus on taking it easy."
"I fear I'm not one to take it easy." she said with a joking tone. Benny watched her and quirked up a grin.
"Would you for me?" Margie let out a quiet laugh.
"Maybe for Lieutenant Bradshaw."
"Bradshaw ain't here right now." Margie laughed softly again, wincing at her side.
"Then that's a no." she said and Benny grinned at her with a quiet look. Margie watched him and then felt the smile on her face drop.
"Can I tell you something, Benny?" she asked him quietly. Benny's concern was never one he masked well and within an instance he was nodding and coming to sit on her bedside again.
"Hit me."
"I don't remember it happening. The hit I took." she said quietly, "I remember one minute I was there. The next, waking up today. IâŚ.Kennedy said I was talking a bit when she pulled me from the turret, but I don'tâŚ." Margie's eyes welled with tears and that was all it took Benny to lean forward and gently wipe the few strays tears away.
"Don't worry yourself thin on it, Margie," he said quietly, "just focus on getting some rest. You just need some time to heal up. Don't think on that too much, okay?" Margie looked at him, his warm hand pressed there on her cheek and she nodded.
"I'm tired." she whispered and he nodded with a smile.
"Focus on getting some rest." he whispered back to her, "I'm right here. Nothing bad's gonna happen." Margie watched him.
"Promise me you'll still be here when I wake up?" she whispered back to him, "Please?"
"I ain't leaving, Margie." he said quietly. Margie slowly nodded at his words, his hand there on her cheek and drifted off, fading into a black abyss of slumber.
And when she came out of it next, her eyes focused on what was at the foot of her bed - the outlined figures of Judy, Kennedy and Bessie and then looked towards what was next to her. There, curled rather uncomfortably on a chair, was an unconscious Benny DeMarco.
If there was anything Benny DeMarco did, he kept his promises.
And he was there when she woke up.
Right there.
"What's he doing curled up like one of those Renaissance statues?" Kennedy said with a chuckle, coming over to Margie's other side and wiping at the hair awkwardly splayed against her face, "How you feeling?"
"Good, good," Margie said with a small smile, "Benny justâŚ.kept me company last night. Came to visit. Almost got in trouble."
"He's a sweetie, isn't he." Bessie said with a grin, looking to Judy who watched Margie with shining eyes.
"A real sweetheart, for sure." Judy said, "That chair isn't doing him any favors though." The four girls chuckled, Margie wincing again. It told her a lot about a guy who would sit in a chair for the night, next to her as she lay in a cot, half-alive, looking like she'd just been pulled it felt, from six feet under. And in Margie's mind, someone's actions were always louder than words.
Always.
#BENNY DEMARCO U WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!!!!!#he came he fed her some toast with butter and fell asleep like a renaissance statue#king shit fr#ANYWAY#margie and benny deserve only the best in their future and in their life so yes i will be sobbing over them for the indefinite future#am i normal about them? def not but hi hello how is everyone?!?!?!!#FINALLY had time to post#literally exhausted but the vibes are GOOD!!!!#and i was very excited to put this out!#ONE MORE PROMPT LEFT AFTER THIS TO PUT OUT AHHHH#margie x benny#margie harlowe#benny demarco#silver bullets#mota writings#masters of the air#masters of the air fic#THEM THEM THEMMMMM#thank you poet!! <33333
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Okay! This one is less rendered than the other two, but here's some doodles of Tulpa figuring out how to co-exist! (Aka Fresh not taking training seriously while Dream is trying desperately to get his friends to think he's normal.)
When Dream first returns to the Star Sans', he finds himself in a pickle, because he needs Fresh to move his body. Sure, they made a tentative agreement that Dream trusted Fresh not to break, but Dream hadn't been specific enough with the guidelines.
Fresh pilots Dream's body based on the commands from his soul, but more often than not Fresh simply decides not to listen. Sometimes when they're training, Fresh will suddenly make Dream fumble his bow or send an arrow flying way off-target. Dream is always frustrated by this, unaware that Fresh it doing it for his own good and is forcing the guardian to take a break.
Blue was also made aware of Fresh very early on. One day he was passing the kitchen where Dream was cooking and spotted how Fresh's little form was wiggling out of the hole on Dream's skull. Blue made Eye-contact with Fresh, but said nothing since it seemed like Dream was aware and didn't mind. He waited until Dream told him to acknowledge the parasite directly, but suddenly a bunch of Dream's weird actions made sense to him. Blue regularly makes sure to check in on Dream, before abd after he's aware of Fresh, because he knows Dream works himself into the ground.
Dream (eventually) figures out that Fresh was being clumsy for his sake and nearly cries about it (even his mother and the villagers never did that for him, and Blue was the only other person to ever pull him away from training for his own good) so he gets a bit emotional. He feels bad for how angry he used to get at Fresh for doing that, but Fresh never gave him a proper explanation either, so it was a two-way street.
And while Fresh was lienent around Blue and Ink, he never slipped up around Nightmare's gang. Though, he did fight seriously, which to him might look like goofing off, which is completely separate from Dream's fighting style. (For now Dream uses Arrows and his Bow, but I'm thinking Tulpa has a T-Shirt Canon or a Nerf Gun by the time they make-up.)
Ideally Fresh cannot be seen during combat because he actually pilots from around Dream's soul, but sometimes his parasite form expands to support Dream's weak joints and act like a shock-absorber.
#utmv#utmv sans#oc#utmv art#utmv oc#my art#spot!drawn#Dreameater au#tulpa#Dream x fresh#fresh x dream#sanscest#<- again technically??? here they're just Strangers dubiously sharing a body tho soooo#anyways#Blue my beloved. he's subtly making sure Dream's alright#but besides being exhausted he's actually better off than he was *befire* fresh so Blue takes that as a good sign#and I love a Dream who is stubborn and has a set routine and expectation who panics and gets a lil#mean when things don't go his way. Golden Child and Prodigey vibes#i'd never project but like... what I wouldn't give to have someone physically stop me from working myself into a fit over#things I can't control đ#Fresh doesn't care a ton about Dream at this point and his carefulness is more him wanting to keep Dream's soul/vessel in good shape#but that quickly morphs into a protectiveness and care once he realizes just how much strain Dream tries to put on hinself to be perfect#the 'I can fix him' trope but with the character you don't expect (Fresh teaching Dream to value himself as more than a tool)#(even though to Fresh at the start he is *literally* just an asset to Fresh. their dynamic is unhealthy to start but improves later)#dream sans#fresh sans#<- I know neither of them are Sans đ itXs just easier to tag like this
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I get hating certain political systems and trying to abolish totalitarian regimes but at the same time many of them are so interwoven with our history and society they have become tropes and when I consume media with a setting where the monarchy is absolute and revered then I am playing my part and sucking that princeling off
#litchi.txt#there are games that address this kinda stuff! and thats good! its good that there are games talking about how this is bad!#but at the same time when I go into a game knowing I will be the prince's sword and shield I dont expect the game to be anti-monarchy#despite having pretty strong opinions on many a thing I tend to put most of them away the moment I engage with media#imperialism bad. monarchy bad. doesnt mean I cant enjoy roleplaying in a game where I help these systems#because guess what its fictional and not everything needs to be a strong statement about politics#sometimes we just... wanna vibe with a setting#I am so very thoroughly exhausted from the politics in this country and where things are going I just kinda need that no brainer gameplay#even if it means working as the secret police for an emperor#even if it means replacing one dictator with another#because its still a game#a lot of people talk about imperialism-monarchy-colonialism with these things because they are a big issue even today#and they are important to talk about!! in real world!!#but I rarely see people be this upset about like religion etc which like. thats also a massive problem.#idk Im just tired of trying to look at fanart of all my fantasy medieval games and people being upset that the games#are not super anti-monarchy despite the marketing being literally 'you are the emperor's bestie. you help him out and go on a quest.'#'your quest is to manipulate local government to support the emperor and do his bidding'#like idk how That is supposed to be a game that addresses it properly#and maybe it does but ig since the MC doesnt look at the player and go REMEMBER KIDS! THIS IS EVIL AND BAD AND WHY MONARCHY SUCKS#it doesnt count??? I guess???
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hi :) i went to the beach today & saw an incredible amount of jellyfish!! it was so cool!! reminded me of you (bc jellyfish are your favourite animals), so here i am saying hi :)
have a lovely day <33
hiiiii!!!! <333 sorry ive gone AWOL ilysm im just. ouurhhhh
thats so cool đđ actually crying thank you for thinking of me skgbsng. on a somewhat unrelated note, i have a vague understanding of what you look like based on picrew challenges but i still see that specific image of DANC holmes and go omg...anna....
going to a beach and seeing jellyfish would cure me, i think (maybe i need to move to belgium...tho im pretty sure we have some biolum beaches heree??). i hope you had a good day!! i saw your tags a while back and i feel you with sometimes feeling better going and exploring by yourself rather than w family (iirc? bad memory gang sorry). idk what ur situation is like but sometimes its just so much more fun/relaxing. i think going to a bioluminescent beach is on my bucket list - ive done my epq project on biolum, i adore it, i adore jellyfish. i need to go to one sooo fucking badly shaking you i need to shake my hand in the water and watch it glow back
i also saw your bio energy level and i hope you feel better <33 have a nice week :]
#not equipped for rambling#anna#not equipped for answering#raaahhh trying to tell myself that talking to people will make me feel better. i am just very sad and exhausted at the moment haha#lot going on rn. anyway#i hope youve been doing alright!! i read all of your replies and i love them im just real low on energy#sending good vibes to belgium from england#going back to poland for like 4 days this coming week ill wave from the plane#i cant help but see people as their tumblr pfps#sorry you are not anna you are sherlock holmes#i dont make the rules#also unrelated note why the fuck are all my online friends miles away from me AAAAA#this is what i get for living on a literal island#cant have shit in england smh#belgium sounds lovely though!!#i really do need to visit sometime#im not a massive travel person? i like exploring but on a small scale if that makes sense#i have familiar people and places i go to and i dont like straying from them too much for too long#i think i just get attached to people and things very easily
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gave my number out to someone (god i wish iâd come up with a good reason to say no) and reeeaaaaaalllllllyyy wish i hadnât but wouldnât dare make the social faux pas of ghosting them because thatâs mean and also i see him almost every day of the week
#kiwi shares their thoughts#heâs so⌠chatty#i have 0 things against him#but i NEVER have the energy to full heartedly interact with him whenever he tries to talking to me#and heâs just so exhausting to me for some reason#i donât vibe with him enough to talk this often dude#thereâs only a small group of people who donât drain my social battery when i interact with them#and several people who donât drain it as bad#but idk man this dude saps all my fucking energy and tests my patience but i donât know why because heâs literally fine#the amount of times i have been THIS CLOSE to just⌠deleting the contact#if only i didnât see him basically every day#i feel bad he wants to be my friend but itâs like heâs running and i feel like iâm being dragged when iâd prefer if we were just walking#anyone got tips on how to gently tell someone to calm down and fuck off#like can i put a text limiter on him#also i donât know if itâs normal to him but he texted me âgood morningâ#bitch what#we literally are forced to see each other in like 2 hours the hell you mean good morning just fucking wait dude#my BEST FRIENDS AND I donât even exchange good morning texts#thatâs too much for me w someone who quite frankly is essentially a rando to me besides his name#anyways
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WIP DAY.
tagged by @girlbosselrond @morvaris @aartyom @risingsh0t @phillipsgraves @leviiackrman @indorilnerevarine & @denerims over the past month! sorry it's taken me so long to get to anything at all, i'm sure you guys have heard me address it enough, but thank you all so much for continuing to tag me in things while i've been inactive âĄ
tagging @aelyosos @brujah @calenhads @florbelles @jendoe @lightwardens @liurnia @nokstella @nuclearstorms @shadowsofrose @shellibisshe @steelport @swordcoasts @wrymbloods @voerman & all of those who tagged me again cause i'm so behind + anyone else who'd like to share anything they're working on, not just writing! âĄ
i haven't written anything since the last wip game i did, but i started trying to put diana's timeline together at the start of january, so i mean... i'll show that instead. as you can see, fatigue hasn't let me do much with it even though i've got all of her timeline already done and strewn about all over the place.
started with 1995 onwards cause it was originally going to be an ewskers timeline situation, but then wanted to include all of her backstory so i went back to the start and still have the late 80s and early 90s to get through before then, but yeah :]
it's going to include like all little moments i've thought of between the ewskers just for me and placing them on the timeline, so you can imagine how long this is going to get if i have to go to 2021 for village... like just 1996-1998 is going to be so much... she's very special to me if you couldn't tell already lmaoo
never sharing this though, it's just for me, and like will help for when i do her timeline page (more in-depth version of what's on her oc page) to just run through canon events and brief descriptions and whatnot. you understand.
everything is blurred out besides 1995 ewskers momence and the years, just cause like idk her i feel weird sharing her in-depth backstory unless it's in dms or something, just cause there's lots going on there and yeah. things. idk
i also made a carrd for twt if you wanna have a look at that :] there's some cheeky subtle things with the two resi items i used as pics hehe
actually, you know what, i'll give a lil bit from where i left of with that rewrite anyways, even though it's been months since i wrote it. but why not
Wesker left a fleeting kiss behind her ear then reached around her and hooked his fingers beneath her coat, prompting Diana to glance back at him. But all he did was gently pull it from her shoulders. She watched him from out of the corner of her eye as he hung it up on the rack by the door, his movements careful and almost calculated, until he turned back towards her, and the warmth of his body returned once more. He pressed up against her side this time, as opposed to her back, and one of his hands found a home on her waist. The way the arm it belonged to was resting firmly against her as he began leading her towards the kitchen was comforting, secure, yet unmistakably possessive. And she revelled in it. He had quite the knack for handling her just the way she wanted.
#tag games.#keep going to do picrews and just zoning out đ i'm so behind on literally everything but it's fine it's okay (lying)#i'm having a day and a half even though i woke up feeling okay but oh well. my last month has just been like watching videos during the day#or playing games when i have a bit more energy but like i can't do anything that requires me to actually read or write things like words#are just not computing in my brain at the moment but it's okay like i'm just exhausted and hoping soon i can get back to writing because i#still have over 30 wips going lmao but yeah it's been a time a half with lots of appointments and seeing specialists again and trying to#sort things out. i've been more active on twitter which i've mentioned before but it's just because like it's easier for me to sort of just#like and rt things and not having to do my organisation tags and things like i know that sounds so just small and simple but that's how#i've been lately like to my brain rn that seems like a really big task. so i just keep coming on here randomly for a few minutes then#disappearing so i'm sorry that i've definitely missed so much and i haven't been around to just show my appreciation and love to your#creations!! also just everything that happened in december and then a bit at the start of january too like i'm just a lil paranoid about#being on here honestly so i'm trying to get back to it and be okay with posting again and i'm going to make a promise to myself to actually#filter more tags i think? just to help me with like not exposing myself to things that do make me feel uncomfortable in any way!! i'm#rambling now but sorry sometimes i just need to lmaooo idk but yes so cute lil subtle things from my carrd i wanna talk about cause why not#i didn't have to change the blue herb from re0 besides making it brighter because it's already teal toned which is so sexy but i shifted#the hue on the spade key like SLIGHTLY like it was so little. but anyways. i use this emoji ⨠on my twitter name and yes cause sparkles but#also. three stars. the s.t.a.r.s. badge and logo :] then blue herb because i will have no poison in my safe space!!!! take a blue herb or#leave please!! only good vibes and safe space here!! spade key because i'm ace <3 i was going to include the diamond one in there as well#because am demiro and like those are the symbols in the community. ace of spades for ace. diamond for demis (both orientations)#but wasn't sure how to weave the pink through the rest of the carrd even though cyan and pink together is so pretty omg
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Im so glad things are going well for you!!!! Hell yeah achievement!! What sort of stuff are you thinking of doing self employment wise? Wishing you all the luck đ
[I'm answering this from my laptop, so no emojis unfortunately - I'm only putting this note because it looks so jarring to not see all of them and looks to me like all the emotion is drained out as a result but that's definitely not the case!!]
Thank you for the well wishes!! I do wanna say that I started at least looking into self employment mostly due to my autism and how stressful the 8 hour workday is for me; I've seen multiple autistic creators express how they ended up turning to self employment because the control over their work stressed them a lot less. As far as self employment goes, I'm sort of just dipping into it and haven't fully explored a lot of options, but I'm starting out with some food delivery apps to see if those can help me get started as I transition out of my current line of full time work
It's almost funny bc the financial position I'm in means that even a little bit of money coming in a little faster is useful; even a little will get me supplies for my guinea pig or discount groceries for a week or two, and the idea of being able to listen to music or video essays while doing my work alone and then being able to walk away at my own discretion is too tempting to not even give a try to. I wanna give it a few test runs in silence while I get used to it and then I can start working through the 1000+ video essays I have saved, and that's not even touching on all the music I have saved that I could check out as well
I'm also leaning more into my art! Being at the bare minimum half burnt out from the job I already have makes it a little more challenging to keep my efforts on it, but I'm setting up a kofi page! I just want my comm info up in full before I start promoting it. I'm definitely not expecting it to be lucrative or anything, but the prospect of formalizing my art as something I can work with like that has me hopeful.
Overall, I'm just trying to see what does and doesn't work for me as I start coming to terms with the idea that I might not be able to sustain a normal 40 hour workweek and that I just need to get creative with how I approach this!
#thank you! if i do go into another full time line of work i think i just need to minimize people contact#which there's definitely options for! i just want to give myself a little bit of time to breathe bc jumping directly into another job#after this one will exhaust me more i feel; sometimes i feel like i'm literally just trying to get by but i'm feeling more hopeful#the more i've been juggling other things in the background and seeing them work out in my favor#i'm especially fond of the self employment i've described here bc it gives me a chance to walk away if it's not working out#i've had a lot of thoughts lately; especially as i reduce my hours at my current job; i'm still trying to see how to get it to show up#on my end; but yes! in short; delivery and art which i'm hoping feel more freeing to work with#thank you again for the good vibes!#asks
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i turn 21 on monday and i just know im not going to enjoy this weekend at all...
#BIG vent in tags#the last two months have been honestly some of the worst of my life i am always always thinking about this rly shitty thing happened#and now i have to go home for my birthday weekend which i know i should be happy about and it is a good thing#but i just really dont want to go and i feel like a bad person for feeling that way#im doing better than someone i know and i need to go home and be there for them#i wanted to be in my apartment and relax with my friends#ive had 4 midterms this week and i am just exhausted with everything#and its not like it being my brithday will make my weekend bc thats literally impossible#and i feel so shitty about feeling this way bc im not the one who needs help right now and my bday shouldnt even be a priority in my family#bc we have bigger problems rn#but i still wish it was better. plus today sucked#i just am always awkward with people and i wish i was better at social stuff and ive felt rly lonely bc i only hve a few good friends#and trying to make friends is so impossible bc it seems like i keep doing the wrong thing and not being able to vibe with people#rn im just thankful for labs bc having constant lab partners are the only social interactions i get in almost all my classes#this girls would sit next to me in genetics and we would talk but i hvent seen them in a few weeks and i dont know their names#and im not great with faces so i cant even go up to them if i see them and i wouldnt even know what to say if i did#i see the same people in my classes but im sure they think im weird bc ive never talked with them but i always accidentally make eye contac#and one girl in 4/5 of my classes i sometimes talk with but i dont even know if she likes me and i acciendetnally made eye contact with her#while waiting for a lecture to start but then made no attemot to talk to her bc i thought itd be awkward and she probably thought i was#ignoring her#its just this week. its been so so shitty i dont know how to change thus
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I think one of the reasons the Harris / Walz ticket has so much momentum is because the campaign is genuinely trying to put out this vibe of fun. Like that's all the "brat" thing is, the coconut jokes, just being kind of silly and fun.
And I think it's working, because let's be real, we are all exhausted. It's been all about preserving democracy, defeating fascism, the past eight years. The message has been "vote for us because the country is literally on the line". The vibes are not good when we are stuck back at that fight, and not even discussing trying to make progress on things like housing, healthcare, education, etc. And the fight to just stop fascism? All still true. Project 2025 is real and is extremely scary. We can't let that man back into office.
But the vibe was "vote for us otherwise we're all fucked :(" and now has shifted to "get in, we're making popcorn and then bullying fascists." Like a lot of the issues conservatives bring up, the Harris / Walz is just not engaging them in good faith, as they shouldn't. Republicans bring up abortion, and the Dems are just like, "you want 14 year old to give birth? Weirdo" and just leave it at that. Like YES, that's what you should do. Because it SHOULDNT be a debate. And it's working. This is how you defeat the identify politics thing Republicans have been trying to push for a while. Just mocking them for the stupidity of it all. "Like seriously? You think a book can make someone gay??? Hahaha." None of the Republicans are reacting well. They can't stand it. Vance even complained about bullying!!! Like do you KNOW who picked you as vp??? It's actually laughable, because they have no room to stand on when it comes to bullying.
And a huge part of the mocking and dismissing of Republicans is that the message is clear - were done debating all this stupid stuff. We've won the last two elections' popular vote - most Americans do NOT want christo-facism. It's time to move on. And that's what gives me hope, and the feeling of hope I think a lot of people have picked up on. It's time to address all the issues we've all wished we've been addressing the past decade. It's important we move onto that, and that's the message I'm getting from this campaign (We're not going back). I think it will resonate with a lot of people, because plainly, we're all just sick of this same old news cycle and fake rage bait over things like "should women have rights?", "Should gay people be allowed to exist?" The general populace have answered YES to both these multiple times, and it is time to move on. Maybe I'm being naive, but I am genuinely excited at the idea of putting to bed these debates (it's exhausting trying to fend your very existence) and moving on to actual economic and social policies that could fix a lot of deterioration over the last 2 decades.
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Goshhhhhh~ the fucking VALIDATION I GET from everyone telling me Iâm a good chair đđ
#itâs only bc Iâm way better than the alternatives but honestly I could be way better#Iâm fairly patient though.#Iâve been told both at work and at the chairing I have the patience of a saint#and I do my best to explain things#the thing is that I tend to hop around and explain things as I remember them#but having a set agenda helps a LOT with the brain bunnies#shattersâ fragments#when I say Iâm part of the board mostly as a service that I can perform as a chair for them Iâm not even joking all that much#literally when my term was up they called me and told me to seek appointment for a term ahaha#it was. pretty iconic TBH#I am WANTED#I am VALUED#and I am DAMN GOOD AT WHAT I DO SOMETIMES#even though I usually do it while fucking exhausted#wouldâve preferred a nap tbh but you know. do my duties and all haha#I have Never read Robertâs Rules of Order and I never will (unless I end up getting paid to do so)#and uh. tbh. barely know the quick guide to it either Iâve just been semi immersed for like. six years ish now that Iâve been on the board#so itâs just. vibes and nature and not being so afraid to ask for help from those who know it better than me bc I FORGET THINGS#but yeah#Iâm a good chair for them đđ
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burned out asf
#/ sadie's shit#man#i thought people were lying about how hard the ib was and how much time it takes#and yeah tbh itâs more straightforward to get good grades than how people make it out to be#it requires so much constant effort#literally CONSTANT effort l#and iâm so burnt out and my life is so unbalanced that itâs just. iâm barely holding on#i couldâve gotten an A* in my math test if i studied more#but i DIDNT because as soon as i go home i fall asleep because i am mentally & physically exhausted#i just need. a hug.#also my social life is falling apart lmaooooooo but we vibe#sorry for the massive vent iâve just been Feeling It lately
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Astro observations
Pt 3
Leo placements are not afraid to be romantic and I love it
Even though Sagittarius placements are super optimistic, the suns are never afraid to say when they are unhappy with something. It can come off as complaining and miserable after a while
Sagittarius suns are also more prone to depression because of how optimistic they can be sometimes, so when the harsh truth of reality hits and comes crashing down on them, they canât handle it
The non-chalant taurus sun is just an act. They feel. A lot. Theyâre literally just too lazy to show they care sometimes. And when they donât care, itâs never personal, but theyâre never too lazy to freak out on you for messing with one of their material things.
Venus-Neptune conjunct/trine natives are mesmerizing. Theyâre beauty is dreamy, ethereal and absolutely out of this world
Virgo rising women have a very distinctive, sexy walk. Itâs that hip swaying, one foot in front of another momentum. Could easily be a model just from their walk alone
Virgo men are usually always short and look like nerds
Virgo women are usually on the smaller/petite side. I see most struggle to gain weight or keep it. They also might be lean their whole life.
Taurus moon is a hella underrated placement when it comes to loyalty. These babies are generally too lazy to go out of their way too cheat on you. The sneaking and lying, they donât have the energy for all that emotionally. Would rather just stay loyal until they leave
Aries suns and cancer risings are naturally built, they donât need to work much on their bodies to have an attractive build
Leo mars get so mad when their ego is hurt and have a huge praise kink in bed
You could have been outshined by your siblings during childhood if your moon is in Leo, or your mom could have neglected you emotionally and not given you the attention you deserve
Help why are gemini moons so good at love bombing. So are Leo placements and aries venuses but thatâs because they lose interest fast. Gemini moons can literally not have any interest in you at all and still love bomb tf outta you
Cancer men are funny asf. Their humour is like a gay best friend. Libra sun men are like this as well
Libras a masculine sign but theyâre so feminine and gay. Both men and women
Taurus is a feminine sign but can be so masc sometimes. Itâs more in the personality for women and the physicality for men
You need to prioritize self care if you have venus in the second house
Taurus men are the chillest people yk until you start doing them how theyâre really doing you
Aquarius and Leo suns have the same amount of ego because theyâre sister signs. Leo just isnât afraid to show it and itâs a little bit more of a god complex for Aquarius
Aries moons start to throw things when theyâre upset
Brush your hair out during Leo full moons!
Lilith in the sixth house natives tend to struggle keeping up with daily routines. They may also fall victim to sex scandals in the work place
Libra risings have such a classy, sweet and angelic look but are literally the opposite in reality
Itâs exhausting trying to get emotional depth from a gemini moon, donât even try
2nd house moon synastry makes the house person super possessive and insecure over the moon person, constantly trying to hold them down. Thereâs a lot of jealousy both emotionally and physically in the relationship
Capricorn risings give of crazy office siren vibes
Libra moon women know that beauty comes from within. They also have such a good eye when it comes to aesthetics and beauty. Their sensitivity to conflict is so cute, itâs theyâre need for peace and harmony that makes them so attractive
Mercury at 0 degrees natives have no idea what they actually sound like
Everyone talks about Leo and how big their egos are but no one ever talks about Libra sun men. They always think theyâre the prize when dating and their egos are huge
Pisces moons really do have those big dreamy eyes. Both men and women
Mars in 7th house natives tend to direct and put alot of their energy into relationships and partnerships. It may not even be intentional, you might find relationships just tend to drain your energy more than anything else in life
Aries moons are super masculine and have such defined jaws, even more then the sun
Cancer sun women have that timeless kind of look and can pull off so many different timelines of beauty
Taurus moons have thick necks
Gemini moons all have their eyes super close together. They also donât mean anything they say
Capricorn and taurus women are such bread winners. They truly mastered the law of money
Youâll never see it coming but Taurus men will actually play tf outta you. Any sign has the potential to, but you really donât see it coming with taurus men
Natives with Pluto in the eighth house are really resistant to change and may struggle to let go of destructive habits
Aries venus has this huge rep for being players but they actually feel super intensely when in love. They donât like superficial relationships and want a deep, intense connection. Maybe they should stop going for emotionally unavailable people just because they like the chase âŚ
Virgo moons make such good gardeners, it tends to be really therapeutic for them. Doing chores around the house like washing dishes is also super emotionally therapeutic for natives with Virgo moons
Pisces and Aries moons are more likely to get addicted to substances, but for different reasons. Pisces moons use it to escape reality while Aries moons use it to numb the intensity of their emotions
Instead of drugs, 5th house moons/mars/saturn natives use the pleasure in life to cope with emotions or trauma
Earth moons are super sensitive to light and loud noises
Taurus suns take their self care so seriously. Itâs like an entire ritual to them. Their whole life even
10th house venus can indicate looking better as you age
Personal Leo placements will be the type to not be interested but decided to keep you around just for the attention anyways. Especially when itâs in the venus. This goes for the men and women
Virgo risings and gemini venuses are so adaptable to the people they hang out with
Gemini moons are babies to me, they just wanna be heard
Cancer rising women always have fat asses Iâm not even joking.
Aries risings, venus 10th house and cancer rising natives age so gracefully
Itâs such common knowledge for Pisces moons to be lowkey drug addicts but no one ever talks about how easy it is for Virgo and Gemini moons to get addicted to substances. These moon natives are constantly in their heads and always analyzing their emotions, using drugs to shut it off
Leo mercuries talk like children when theyâre excited
Having your sun at 8 degress may cause you to have an obsessive personality, especially in circumstances where your ego is involved
Suns at Virgo degrees have such small features, especially if the sun is Cancer or Aries
Thereâs no point on trying to hate on a Virgo moon, they hate themselves more than you ever could. And the more you try and help them with their insecurity, the more theyâll push you away. They genuinely do not believe your reassurance, theyâll ask you for it anyways though.
Leo women like to take advantage of Pisces men. Iâve seen this scenario so many times both personally and within celebrities, Leo women like the power they feel when theyâre using Pisces men.
Having a Virgo moon indicates your mom was extremely nit picky with you and strict asf while you were growing up. She was a perfectionist while raising you and had higher expectations from you vs her other kids. Your mothers lowkey made you hate yourselves Iâm so sorry.
Leo mercuries and mars sometimes yell when they talk and donât even realize. Aries mercuryâs know theyâre yelling, they just donât think itâs a big deal
Mars in the first house is extremely intimidating. You could be 5 foot tall and still have this scary energy.
Mars-mercury conjuct in a synastry chart is super underrated. The energy is matched so well during convos and they get each other so passionately. Things get crazy aggressive when arguments pop up though.
Scorpio suns are possessive and jealous over the people they love while taurus suns are possessive of material things and the stuff they own.
Aries mercuries will say the rudest shit to you and then say they were just being honest, but itâs true. These natives hate delusion so much and will keep you in check
Having your mercury at the 17 degrees can make you naturally dramatic when you talk or come off as louder when speaking.
Virgo 4th house natives like their home really clean
People with prominent 9th house placements value education and higher learning so much. If you want to hurt a 9th house stellium, criticize their intelligence and academic accomplishments
You can have a lot more problems with tech during mercury retrogrades when you have heavy/personal Gemini and Virgo placements.
Leo mercuries ( especially those born in the generation with Pluto in Aquarius) are you guys okay? Youâll be having one of the hardest transits for almost 20 years.
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your persons intimate fantasies about you (18+)
Message: you guys over here on tumblr have the nsfw covers and the covers for TikTok and Instagram are sweeter because unfortunately TikTok is sensitive and so is Instagram đ anyways, weâre in Scorpio season and I felt like it was time for me to do another 18+ reading, I hardly ever do these, they all make nervous đâđžbut for you, I will do it because who doesnât want the tea on what their persons fantasies are about them letâs literally be for real. Stop looking at me Iâm embarrassed đ. Letâs just hurry up and do it.
***
pile one: The first card out was the sun card upright pile one, I've got some channeled messages as well that I've pulled out this person just wants to make you happy, they just want to please you. You're the top priority in their fantasies about you, I get the imagery of someone working extra hard, doing everything in their power to make sure you cum first if not multiple times, it's almost like they wouldn't even care if they finished themselves. They think you'd look pretty during sex or that your faces and moans would further push them to fuck you with their best effort. This person also may feel like you're a tough one or have a strong energy outside of the bedroom in your day-to-day life this person wants you to melt in their hands and submit to them, I'm also hearing they want you to be completely exhausted afterward, out of breath, or they want to be put you straight to sleep. Some of these people are masculine energies and have really heavy dominant traits or tendencies, care for you, adore you, may want to protect you, or be protective of you.
There's a lot of imagery of someone lying behind you or draping a heavy arm over you when you guys are finished or watching you sleep to admire their accomplishment or to make sure you're okay. I also pulled "acts of service (pleasure, aftercare, etc.) from my channeled messages so that kind of confirms the energy I'm getting from this person. They may be the type to run you a warm bath afterward, help you clean up, or make sure everything is to your liking afterward. This person is going to prioritize your needs every time, anything you do for them in the bedroom or sexually I heard "would be nice." but it's never their top priority. You may be really pretty or be someone who is really put together or would go into intimacy, makeup, and hair done, looking nice, I kind of almost get like an old school wifey vibe, the way beauty ritual for your husband/partner was a thing, like pampering yourself, putting on a little makeup, doing your hair, or putting on something your partner would like before they come home to you. This person imagines you looking good before sex with them and may even feel like you almost look your best but they fantasize about ruining all that, mascara streaming down your face, hair looking insane, lipstick swiped off, etc.
This person loves your face or your features either way though so you'll always be pretty to them or this person is really in awe of your physical appearance. Pulled "Cancerian features (soft bodies, curves, breast, soft features, etc.)" This person thinks your natural features are very sweet but also thinks that you're very sexy, you may have full hips, or a soft body shape, a nice waist or midriff, you may have big boobs or a soft or full butt too and this person is really obsessed with that, imagines themselves in between your thighs if you're a woman, imagines themselves caressing your skin or grabbing handfuls of your ass. I'm getting like doughy imagery, like a Greek goddess or even people who have similar body types to doja cat or someone with a south African body type or maybe even someone Somali. This person thinks your figure is the embodiment of a whole lot of woman. getting "this is a man's world, but not without a woman." This person is obsessed with you pile one, you're extremely desirable to them. I get a lot of pussy worship from this pile too, if you're a woman this person fantasizes about eating you out or lapping away at you or sticking their fingers in it.
Pulled "wet pussy." too, this person thinks you're hiding a slip in slide in between your legs and fantasizes about you being wet for them or fantasizes about what it would feel like to stick their hand in your panties or discover that you are aroused. which one of you are water signs, it's sticky in here. đ. I haven't even gotten to the second row of cards in my spread, this person just has a lot on their mind, they dreams about you often, has wet dreams about you or fantasize about being intimate with you like clockwork, they should be getting paid for it due to all the time they devote to thinking of you. This person dreams of you desiring them though or being impressed with them, you being needy or them being the object of all your desires or someone you ache for or spend a lot of time fantasizing about. If this person is quiet about their desires or nonchalant about things like this, I hope you know they're pretending. This person fantasizes about you coming undone all over them, tearing up during orgasms or releasing high-pitched moans or making all types of outlandish vocalizations while they f*ck you. They want you all to themselves and if they're spiritual or are into spiritual thinking they fantasize about a soul-deep connection with you that makes your desire for them magnified and out of control.
I was just listening to "any time, any place" by Janet Jackson yesterday, and I had "my heart belongs to you" by Jodeci stuck in my head yesterday, I absolutely get 90s baby-making music vibes from this person. This person wants to worship you. This person wants to drag you around on the bed, pick you up and toss you around, or loves to be hands-on, this person likes to talk you through it, will tell you good job for squirting and creaming. LMAO nooo! the intro lyrics to "my heart belongs to you" being exactly how this person feels, go look at the lyrics immediately. This person also feels like you're a little shy about sex or are usually very quiet about your desires and like to keep them to yourself and this person thinks this is cute or this turns them on. I also pulled the king of cups but it landed sideways, this person is extremely sweet on you but the sideways position of the card leads me to believe this person is sweet on you and wants to cater to you romantically and be obsessed and cuddly with you but in bed sort of has a switch that they flip. This your man???? I don't know friend I had to stand up out of my seat and clap..
channeled messages I pulled:
"Relieving period cramps or menstrual pain through penetration"
"Favorite place? ; inside you."
"Cancerian features (soft bodies, curves, breast, soft features,,"
"wet p*ssy."
"exactly someone's type."
"finger f*cking (knuckles deep, rings on fingers,,)" yall need to be stopped.
"favorite positions/taking notes"
"eyes tearing up"/"coming undone."
special spots (g-spot,a-spot, erogenous zones on your body) this person knows what you like or will study you and wants to hit all the right spots repeatedly
"desire to please"
"wet dreams"
"sex after marriage or delayed gratification"
"acts of service (pleasure, after care, etc.")
"worship of eachothers divinity / divine feminine worship/ divine masculine worship"
"having sex in public , "any time any place"" (this person likes the idea of car sex with you, you being needy, or not being able to wait until you get home to sleep with them)
"obsessed with your physique"
"first to break celibacy or take virginity"
channeled music:
"any time, any place" -Janet Jackson (miss freak-a-leak supreme)
"Feenin'" -Jodeci
"My heart belongs to you" -Jodeci
"Just the two of us" - Bill Withers
"It's a man's world" - James Brown
"At Last" -Etta James
extras:
this person has sloppy or big handwriting
this person is a quick thinker, is witty, or pays close attention
this person has calloused hands or does a lot of work with their hands
"I will survive" - Gloria Gaynor (this song came on auto-play and was really distracting to me, I almost got up and did a back flip and put on an entire performance, you may remind this person of this song or something like it, I'm channeling a lot of 70s energy or 70s feminine energy, this person may think of you that way or you give them 70s sex symbol energy, think Pam Grier, big breasted and natural, supple skin, big hair, glamour, etc. )
beauty competitions or pageants or feminine displays of beauty like burlesque is the energy you give this person
Etta James or Beyonce in Cadillac Records (you really remind this person of vintage women in history or if you're a man vintage male figures in history, there's something this person picks up when they think of you that's very vintage, classic, romanticized or antique and valuable)
you remind this person of classic recipes or like angel food cake, classic vanilla recipes, homemade things or nostalgia specific to fragrance, touch, and auditory stimuli like music or melodies.
this person likes to eat, they're an eater and you might be as well, is a fan of fine dining but also is a fan of oral sex and likes it done to them as well, is a big fan of how you suck dick if you do oral is big in this connection. if you've never gotten good oral, this persons about to change your life or thinks of doing so, mouth wide open, chin dripping type of people.
blankets or bed being a mess, or like pillow feathers being all over the place
*****
pile two: there's a lot going on in this pile two but I feel like this reading is about to change your life or give you some huge take away, if this person is someone you're romantically invested with this is more than just a telltale on what they want to do to you. I immediately pulled the three of cups card and I was like ??? but there's a message here about this person's sexuality and sexual experiences being connected to their love lives or romance, this person has very heavy Scorpio energy, they're obsessive and possessive and heavily devoted in love but they want to make people fight for their love or fight for their commitment and devotion. This person may have third parties or like to keep their options open or may like a lot of attention and get a lot of attention but they fantasize about everything about you captivating them and making them change their ways, put their walls down, and commit/marry you.
They fantasize about you going out of their way to earn their love and devotion and then they fantasize about how they're gonna fuck and make love to you after you earn it as a reward. I pulled "best you've ever had" from the channeled messages too. This person is taken up by you and sort of admires your beauty and admires you like you're this persons "little love" I heard but they're about to turn you every which way but loose if you devote yourselves to them and prove that you truly love and care for them. This person is afraid of abandonment or has trouble with commitment but they don't really on the inside on an internal scale. this person has layers or is a complex individual but you're the one who understands them or you understand the interworking's of their mind.
This person fantasizes about exploring sex and intimacy with you or exploring each other's bodies. This person may need trust and emotional intimacy and connection to get it up for people or to even consider having sex. This person is used to being desired or people lusting over them but that is a surface level idea and they understand it's temporary unless it's built on the right foundation. They may be a virgin or be saving themselves but most people would assume the opposite. This person fantasizes of driving you wild or making you needy and crave sex with them or crave their touch, I'm channeling the energy of that scene in 40 days and 40 nights when he finally gets the girl and they don't have penetrative sex but he brings her to an orgasm with just a flower alone, like this person wants you to want them that bad. Tugging on their belt loops when you hug them, wanting to smell them, not being able to get enough of their embrace, like that!! I'm also channeling the song "Summertime" by Ella Fitzgerald and how gorgeous her voice is in that song and how in flow she is with the male harmonizer on the record. They're trying to fuse souls with you, they want to make music with you, the music being you moaning loudly.
This person imagines that you have really high-pitched moans or orgasms or they try to imagine what you'd sound like during sex by the tone or frequency of your voice, they love your voice. Thinking of you moaning drives them insane as well, one of their fantasies is to make you yell or have you be really loud to the point where other people can hear you but they don't care or aren't ashamed. If you're the type of person to cover your mouth or try to be quiet they're going to hold your hands back when they know you're close. This person is like a hopeless romantic at heart like they're badly hoping you'll love them through their setbacks or their issues to the point in which they grow, heal, and leave all that behind. You may be someone whose a little prone to loving unconditionally or loving people through rough times in their lives and you'll get your happily ever after through that energy of being exactly who you are.
this person knows how sweet you are or picks up on it when you have a hard time when they're away even if you try to put up facades or pretend, and they really like that you want them, that you crave their attention and quality time. If you're crazy and needy they love that about you. This person needs to be loved unconditionally within this lifetime. You're their person. This person is really into the idea of you guys both equally giving and receiving romantically but also sexually. This person fantasizes that you'd do anything to please them and they you. This person fantasizes about fucking you dizzy and making you forget about anyone else you've ever liked or cared for or ever wanted to be with. They see the whole nine yards with you too, the house, the marriage, the kids, the wealth!! PUT IT ON EM' MAKE EM' WANNA MARRY ME!!!
This person also fantasizes about little bouts of intimacy between the two of you especially if you guys are waiting for sex till after you're married or till after you're ready whenever that may be. they fantasize about sloppy kisses with you, getting hot and heavy and almost getting carried away and they fantasize about fingering you and the sounds you'll make when they do, they also know and think about how wet you get for them or how tight you are just over two fingers. They're obsessed with your face and your eyes too, you may have big eyes or eyes that catch a sparkle or a lot of light, and they're obsessed with your eyes and lashes, they also fantasize about messing up your lipstick or your lip combo or being covered in kiss marks by you or covered in your lipstick. lol or like kind of comedic vibe like them coming out a closet with you in public covered in kiss marks and your lipstick, looking crazy. A connection between the two of you will be very passionate and hot and heavy to the point where your friends will be able to feel the desire radiating off the two of you and after you have sex for the first time it'll be even wilder. You may even have an anonymous or faceless blog of your own when you're a little older or some years into your relationship or start writing a book to share about your sex experiences or romance.
channeled messages I pulled:
"worship of each other's divinity, divine feminine worship/divine masculine worship"
"exactly someone's type."
"Cancerian features (soft bodies, curves, breasts, and soft features)" Your person really loves your boobs and your skin, they feel like your boobs fit perfectly in their hands or they love your nipples.
favorite positions/taking notes. Your person is gonna study the way your body reacts to things, the sounds you make, if your breath quickens, what makes you cum the fastest, etc. They're gonna make it their lives work to know exactly what you need
"desire to please"
"acts of service (pleasure, aftercare, etc.) this person is going to be extremely obsessed with you, I just heard "whatever you'd like my love."
"relieving period cramps through penetration" I'm getting the energy that this persons going to do whatever they can to make you feel happy and comfortable like I feel like in early stages of your relationship this person would want to cater to you when you're on your menstrual cycle if you're a woman, buying you gifts, buying flowers, buying you food or sending food to your house, getting you a heating pad or making sure your water cup is full and you have the medication you need or the sanitary products you need after ya'll are done waiting they'll def be doubling all that plus sex for added relief. I'm hearing this person doesn't care if you bleed all over their sheets either.
"having sex in public. "any time, any place."
"finger fucking (knuckles deep, rings on fingers, etc.)" I feel like this person is going to live to have their fingers in your twat in early years of your connection, like they genuinely enjoy hearing your reaction to their fingers, watching your face and feeling you cum all over their fingers. But they'll be really quiet and respectful about the things you do like not telling their friends or dodging questions intending to pry on your intimate lives but will encourage you or really like it when you tell your friends about what you guys do or brag about your intimate lives to your friends.
"best you've ever had." ("and the only.") I heard them add. EEOOWWW! đđ that's like their favorite thing ever, they love that.
"spending money/spoiling" prepare for Cartier and Hermes!!
"wet dreams" bros waking up in a puddle-
"medicine for the soul." aww, this person feels like you make them all better like spending time with you replenishes them of energy and optimism
"wet pussy." hasn't even had it, they clearly just knows intuitively.
channeled music:
"Smooth operator" - Sade
Tennessee whiskey - Chris Stapleton (the lyrics on this one are incredibly resonate, listen or look this one up, especially the lyric: "but when you pulled out your heart I didn't waste it.")
"back to black" - amy winehouse
"you know I'm no good" - amy winehouse
"there is something on your mind" - Big Jay Mcneely
"I only have eyes for you" - The flamingos
"I'd rather go blind" - Etta James
"A Sunday kind of love" - Etta James
extras:
nonchalant-like behavior or pretending to be nonchalant in the beginning
sweetheart
true colors
true love/heart/personality
devotion
scorpio!!!! / being testy in love
amy winehouse in general and her energy or music
"earn it." "how bad do you want me."
Mr. Grey Type or Fifty Shades of Grey being really similar to the connection
Jazz
blues music
red lipstick/lip combos
blankets being a mess, pillow feathers being all over the room
the wedding sex scene in twilight, longing for it, waiting for it, not wanting to hurt you during sex, the bed breaking, getting pregnant right away or not having to try very hard to get pregnant
"brag about it. / "telling the groupchat"
legs being sore, trying to get out of bed and immediately falling/not being able to walk straight
hair being tangled the morning after
turning you every which way but loose
"someone tell that man to get off of her."
big wedding
well endowed/big d*ck/big surprise
pent up frustration, "waited for you,"
bedroom being a mess the morning after (clothes on the floor, bottles, decorations all over if there was any, blankets on the floor, etc.)
jealous women or men, people wondering what about you has your person wrapped around your finger
"wifey. wifey. wifey." (future song trend on tiktok)
mad you left them in bed by themselves, will come to find you, carry you back
handsy/touchy
likes your perfumes or colognes or your taste in fragrances
likes your hair/likes it long, will help you do or style your hair or will help you with your hair
likes your eyes and lashes
"pretty face man"
Etta James and Leonard chess and their relationship portrayed in Cadillac records (him being taken up with her despite third party, the scene where he caresses her face AND YOU CAN LITERALLY HEAR HOW SOFT IT IS UGH!!, buying her stuff/going out of his way to do stuff for her, caring for her or sympathizing with her past/inner child trauma when she's in vulnerable states)
pile three: I'm starting off the reading upright with the "Death" card. I feel like this person is someone from your past or someone that you've departed from or since left or aren't in communication with anymore. This person fantasizes about immense change or some sort of full-force transformation that results in them being married to you and having the full ten of cups energy, everything they've ever wanted, the kids, the dog, the house, the fish, the luxury mommy SUV. everything!!! this person fantasizes about being everything you want and giving everything you want, both in general and sexually. If this isn't a current connection I kind of get the vibe that there was a huge ending or tower moment that resulted in this relationship or connection closing out altogether but this person has not yet let you go whether they've seemingly moved on or whatever!!! You're on their mind a lot as well and they sort of feel like you're above them or like they don't deserve you (and they're probably right) but they're obsessed with you.
The reading started with Creep by Radiohead on shuffle too! This person may have communicated with you a lot through music when ya'll were invested and connected or there were several songs that you resonated with or that they resonated with regarding their connection. This person may fantasize about making love to you to one of you guy's old playlists made about your relationship. Tennessee Whiskey could've been significant to you in this connection as well. ALL THE LYRICS!! This person may like to drink too or like whiskey themselves, be a smoker or be a person with bad habits and bad vices. I think this person fantasizes about your heart still being in this connection and your body too. Like they wonder and fantasize about you up late at night losing it over them both emotionally and sexually. they fantasize about you not being able to get off with anyone else or you thinking about their sex when you're with other people. They fantasize about you not wanting anyone but them or having a hard time dealing with the fact that they're away and can't have them. This person feels exactly like this over you and has a hard time getting aroused or getting it up for other people unless they think about you.
This person misses the way it feels the way it feels to fuck you, if they're a man they may like being deep inside you and watching you struggle to take it all or they like the sound you make when they put it in. Or they like when you rub on them or tug on them when you guys fuck. This person's hands may have been extremely attractive to you or something about hands and fingers are significant. I like hear them saying they didn't touch you enough or savor the feeling of your skin enough or your body or they didn't finger you enough. I don't know what's up with the collective and fingering today.. anyways, whoever you're with or whatever you're doing this person feels like they have a lot of competition or a lot of options or they've been watching you and you look really good and they're literally craving your touch and sex with you. This person really likes what your vagina smells like their idea of a good day is putting their face in between your legs and leaving it there. disregard that if you don't own a vagina but I don't know either way your smell both natural and fragrance choices turn this person on or they miss it.
this person is really is really turned on by your confidence and your magnetism they fantasize about being your man or your woman or your lifelong partner and people noticing how hot you are and being upset that they're the ones who get to fuck you every day or wake up next to you. Like this person wants to be the boyfriend mentioned in "teenage dirtbag" by Wheatus who has the hot girl, drives the hot girl and doesn't give a fuck about the people who eye their person because they're irrelevant to them. This person also feels nobody fucks you like they do or like you and them know how good they make you feel or they fantasize about you having that sort of mindset. they also feel like you were designed for them or made for them like they feel like they like the way you wrap around them or how your inner walls feel or flip that to resonate with you if necessary.
I'm totally getting "complicated" by Avril, this person absolutely feels like you spending time away from them is you acting like you don't care. they're so stuck on you. They miss your mouth too, whatever you do, whatever type of oral you give is like their greatest weakness, they reminisce about the way they feel in your hands or the way your fingers feel. This person is obsessed with everything about you and it drives them completely insane.
channeled messages I pulled:
"releasing period cramps through penetration" if you're a feminine energy this person may have knowledge of you having heavy intolerable cramps and fantasizes about being the one to take care of that for you or make you feel better. it's weird because it's like this person after whatever you guys have been through now wants to be the most considerate, the most sugary sweet, the most giving, etc.
"Cancerian features (soft bodies, curves, breasts, soft features)" I've pulled this for every pile but there's a lot of energy in this one, they envy whoever gets to feel you in their hands, their obsessed with the way your skin feels or the way your body or waist fits in their hands, you may have a smaller frame or be shorter, they miss the way your ass feels, they've always loved that about you, and they miss your breasts, they love to put your nipples in their mouth or want to motorboat you really bad lol!
"mocking/playfullness" this person may fantasize about making fun of your moans or this is something they used to do
"worship of your divinity/ divine feminine worship" you have a lot of divine feminine energy or this person feels like you're an earth angel or you're extremely magical and they want to tell you all about that while they're fucking you, I just picture someone talking to you, affirming you, talking you through it during the act
"sex after marriage or delayed gratification" I get the energy that this person really wants to marry you but that they're also in a constant energy of longing or craving you/feeling like they have to earn sex with you and your time and attention
"eyes tearing up/coming undone" this person fantasizes about giving their all to you and fucking you until you lose it and can't handle it anymore
"medicine for the soul" this person really feels like you make them feel extremely good/make them feel better like if they're feeling upset you always fix it or if they're feeling low they know exactly who to go to. or they feel like you have a healing/magic touch.
"acts of service (pleasure, after care, etc.)â this person really desires to give back to you or give you everything youâve wanted or did want. I get the vibe that you guys relationship the first time around had a lot of you being the type of person to pour into this person and they feel like they owe you. They want to give back to you sexually and emotionally and prove to you that they care for you I feel like
âOral sex (sloppy head or pussy eating)â this one is sort of confirmation I feel like this person is obsessed with your mouth or your oral skills and the way you go down on them and they miss it. I feel like theyâre tired of going through life with people donât know how to suck dick or eat pussy it annoys them lol
âPeriod sexâ this person may have done some spiritual research or has educated themselves on soul ties or even just if women enjoy period sex or not and I feel like this person wants to try that with you or see how youâll behave when your/their senses are heightened like that, they like they idea of fucking you year around, no pauses, not for anything not even blood
âNobody fucks you like I do.â LMFAO yes!!! This person swears by this..
âSpending money/spoilingâ this person fantasizes a lot about taking you places or going places with you, buying you gifts or giving you gifts or feeling like theyâre spoiling you or giving you everything youâve wanted desire and deserve. They may even think about sex after romantic gestures
âAppreciation/affectionâ this person may have a love language of physical touch, is touchy, loves kissing you, holding you close, grabbing on you or showering you with love and affection. I feel like theyâre tired fantasize about that in general but especially about kissing you all over your body, kissing your neck, kissing places they know make you aroused, they fantasize about worshiping your body with affection
âStudies you/pays close attention to body languageâ this person may have grown up with you or has known you for a long time, Iâm getting a message here about it having watched you come into yourself, having learned the things you liked over the years, in general but also in the sexual sense once you guys started being sexually active. I think thatâs where this person gets this idea from that they know your body like no other or nobody can fuck you like they do, this person knows what you like, what you want, where to kiss you, where to touch you..
channeled music:
"Girl I'm Gonna Miss You" -Milli Vanilli
"Killing Me Softly" - Fugees
"Can't Take My Eyes off of You" - Lauryn Hill
"Creep" - Radiohead
"Tennesse Whiskey" - Chris Stapleton
"Complicated" - Avril Lavigne
"Ain't No Sunshine" - Bill Withers
"Don't Know Why" - Norah Jones (and this lyric especially: something has to make you mine)
extras:
nostalgia or reminiscing
never-ending longing
"fucking someone else to the thought of you."
stalking your social media/looking at your posts over and over
#divine feminine#divine masculine#tarot readers of tumblr#tarot readers of instagram#relationships#tarot readers of tiktok#love#channeled message#love readings#18+ readings
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Melissa hated her feelings.Â
She buried them in a chest in the 5th grade (along with her ability to express them). Other peoples' feelings on the other hand was her forte. She could process, decipher and regurgitate other peoples emotions effortlessly. This gift couldâve taken her through college, all the way to a degree in psychology. Distinguished Dr. Jefferson with a PhD and a cozy office and impressive roster of high-profile, weallthy clients was a shiny idea. Fate would have a different hand for Melissa her talents were exhausted on mediating family fights, friend group drama, and charming her way out of confronting her own feelings.Â
âFeelings.â Even saying it out loud to herself seemed silly. Something reserved for âcry babiesâ and water signs. Typical Sunday nights started tame, reading or writing fan-fiction and drinking cranapple juice. And then like clock work her father would yell her name,Â
âMELISSA!!!â Emotionless, sheâd get up dust off her Winnie the Pooh shorts and make her way downstairs. On the long walk down the hall to the stairs leading to the living room brawl, sheâd go through her check list:Â
1.) Donât cry. Â
 2.) Stay neutral; Deescalate
3.)Donât take anything personal. This isnât about you
She padded down the carpeted stairs in her old soft socks to see her mother tightlipped and tear streaked thinking,Â
âshe broke rule number 1â. Her father, Michael was proud and angry, his big belly filled with self righteousness. She knew he would be unyielding in his resolve and at this point her only option was to deescalate.
 âRule number 2â. Then her sister the water sign and calamity for the evening sat on the floor nearly fetal, face red and raw with emotion.Â
âIts not your faultâ Melissa wanted to say âYou just didnât follow the rules⌠youâre loved.â But she couldnât say that because sheâd be breaking rule number 3. It wasnât about how Melissa felt. Even though she felt like screaming,
âVANESSA, YOU DIDNâT DO ANYTHING WRONG. DADâYOU JUST HAVE PENT UP ANGER BECAUSE YOU GREW UP IN THE HOOD OF DETROIT AS A BLACK MAN IN THE 60s AND 70s. YOU NEED A HEALTHY OUTLET LIKE.. I DONT KNOW⌠THERAPY?!?!?! THIS IS A WASTE OF ALL OF OUR TIME. I LITERALLY JUST WROTE THE BEST SAILOR SATURN x CHIBI USA FANFICTION EVER AND THIS IS KILLING MY VIBE!â
Instead, she decide to hear every one out. She decided to help. To calm her dragon of a father down. To be a translator for her emotional sister. To not take it personal. To stay neutral. To not cry.Â
9 years later, at her fathers funeral she still never broke the rules. She played her flute and spoke at his memorial. She was present for her mother because it wasnât about her. When other peoples' emotions bubbled up she stayed neutral. She sat through both services and she did not cry. It wasnât until she excused herself to make a phone call outside did she collapse onto the stairs of the funeral home and weep alone in the cold Detroit snow.Â
Itâs okay to break the rules sometimes, she reminded herself. As long as no one else sees it.
Traumas began to compact on Melissa, as they do. Humans tend to collect traumas like pebbles on a long hike. We toss them into our backpacks and keep moving forward. Some hikers would falter, but Melissa was built for this. Sheâd carried the stones of her familyâs traumas uphill for years. She was strong.Â
When men began to befriend and reject her, saying âyouâre too good for meâ but not too good to make them feel good. She carried that.Â
When childhood friends began to cut off the strings of her heart, saying âWe canât be friends anymoreâ. She carried that.
When her family separated like dandelion seeds, it seemed like theyâd never be together again. Melissa slept on so many couches, floors and car seats sometimes she didnât know if sheâd see them again.Â
She carried that.Â
Dying was never an option though sometimes she didnât mind the thought of it. Peace and warmth were two things sheâd desperately yearned and hadnât felt fully since the womb. Then one night in the pitch black of the hot, sweaty, roach-infested studio in southeast Houston she slept in she wondered:
âWhy canât I break the rules?â Sheâd seen everyone else in her life break them like popsicle sticks. And she didnât just want to break the rules, she wanted to break them boldly and loudly and annoyingly and honestly and sloppily like every one else gets to do. It was in that moment, tucked in a thin jacket inside of an 8-foot high instrument cubby in the inky darknessâit hit her.Â
âIs my suffering for a high purpose? Or is my suffering trying to kill me?âÂ
She cried.Â
She escalated.Â
She took it personal.Â
But it wasnât enough. She wanted to scream in a microphone in a sea of shadowy faces. She drank whiskey and wove her pain into rock music.Â
âMusic is my boyfriendâ she declared. The only man that kept his baggage to hisself. And it healed her. It gave her voice reason and purpose.Â
The pebble-laden hike became lighter with time. The incline eventually evened out to flat, beautiful landscapes where the breeze finally met her back. She knew it wasnât gonna be easy or sunshine but even the rain cleansed her and it was beautiful too.Â
Somewhere in the rain she decided rules were meant to be built and broken. Like trust and love and friendships and families. Because every thing deserves the opportunity to change and grow.Â
So... She broke rule number 1 on stage while singing a beautiful song. Dr. Jefferson (PhD) screamed for her to stop but she didnât listen and the tears flowed like rivers of emotion down her cheeks.Â
Rule number 2Â was broken when she grew older and saw the injustices of the world. Marching with hundreds in protest she realized not everything needs to be pacified.Â
And one day when she finally fell in love, she broke rule number 3. No matter how much training sheâd done she couldn't help but take every thing her lover said and did personal. But it was ok. Because in all her resistance she realized breaking rules was her power.Â
Melissa began to fall for her feelings. Her feelings gave life purpose. They werenât always logical, as feelings seldom are. They were sloppy and embarrassing and rude and so fucking uncomfortable. But they were hers. And they were real. And when she sat alone sipping wine, staring at the moonâŚThey were the only ones still by her side. Ready to break the rules for her because they loved her.Â
And she finally loved them back.Â
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I think lucid dreaming could be used more as a horror concept
You're aware you're dreaming, in full control as far as your consciousness extends
But your subconscious couldn't care less, it's faster
Stronger
It knows every fear, every insecurity
Every possible rebuttal you offer can be countered just as fast
Caught in an endless race with your own mind begging to wake up
But the only chance your mind has to truly relax
To give up
Is to succumb completely, totally
And allow your miserable lucid dream to dissolve into nothing but another nightmare
Where you're nothing but a puppet
Dangled by the strings of unconsciousness
#this is half a joke#because this is actually an experience I had that was fucking horrifying#turns out I can *technically* lucid dream#but uh#It was literally constantly me trying to vibe in the Dream Realm#AND MY MIND KEPT FUCKING IT UP#didn't matter how many times I countered it#ran#attacked#anything you could think of#I still wasn't strong enough to just have a good fun dream#couldn't wake up either#and eventually my mind was exhausted enough that it just turned into a normal non lucid nightmare#smh @ my brain can't you just relax for FIVE MINUTES jfc#leech rambles#other.musing
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