#literally eated them and copied their abilities.

[linksconnected]

THE REFERENCE IS HERE BOYS (after 6 months, literally)

So, going from left to right, Green, Red, Blue, Vio. Nicknames to be decided.

You'll never see so much detail on Blue's tunic btw, no way I'm drawing that again

Rambling under the cut

Okay so, after the adventure the four Links split up (less literally) and went to find what they actually wanted to do for the rest of their lives. Green ended up pursuing his job as a knight, and has been the one to stay the closest to Zelda, often coming over for "sleepovers" (just sleeping over in the castle) he's gotten quite good with a sword, tho that means he's lost other abilities with other weapons. He is dangerous with a bow in his hands, and will kill someone on his side by accident. He's gotten a copy of the four sword, as to not break the original. It doesn't feel as good as the original, but it's all he's got.

Blue decided to keep traveling, having gained a liking to it during their adventure. He's a little like a missionary (I think that's what it's called?) making a living by killing monsters and animals for money. He refuses to kill people, drawing his line there. If they want someone gone, they can contact the knights of Hyrule.

He's gotten quite good at a bunch of weapons! His favorite at the moment being a spear, which he also uses as a walking stick when going long distances (which is always) it's a nice job, keeps him from having to interact with too many people, even if he's like to, he's never been good at it.. too quick to anger, it seemed

Red and magic cannot live without each other. They've learned how to cook and bake, but they've learned in.. untraditional ways. It's only been a year since they've stopped burning their hands every time they tried making bread. But they're quite skilled once they figure out the fire part! Blue often takes some of their food when passing by their house, and at this point Red's cooking is the only healthy thing Vio remembers to eat, so it's working out!

Red is loved by basically everyone in the town, and after getting money to buy a house and start cooking, they've quickly learned that people would just- trade them supplies! A pie for fresh vegetables, or some soup for new clothes. They've found it to be less stressful than working for money

they don't live together anymore, tho Blue doesn't have a stable house, and therefore has his own room in Red's house, which is mostly empty almost all of the time.

Vio had spent months researching how to bring Shadow back, and after resurrecting them through...not so legal methods, the gremlin is back! They live with Vio, and often visit Zelda to play ye olde monopoly. They're still a bit of an ass, but everyone is trying to fix that, it ain't working. They don't mind behind an asshole! They found a cat yesterday, vioooo can they keep it??? Vio's spent some time at school, wanting to learn more than they already did, now that they've finished, they find most of their info in books, being a regular at the library. They're still closed off, but make some effort to try and smile at people, it looks.. awkward, but they're trying. They desperately need sunlight. Shadow goes more outside than them! Apart from going to the library, Vio doesn't leave the house much, Blue or Shadow have to physically drag them out for them to go anywhere else. Which did result in Red calling them a vampire. Shadow has clearly affected their personality, but it's shown more when they're with it, since they're a lot more open, all smirks and snarky comments, it's a side not a lot of people like, but that's shown often (since Shadow's always clinging to them)

Shadow has changed quite a bit since their original journey, and has learned about food, commonly stealing Red's freshly baked goods. They don't have a sweet tooth, instead opting for sour things, like lemons (heh) or any sour candy the nice grandma living near will give them. Vio is actually the one with the sweet tooth, often seen eating chocolate or Red's cupcakes. They've shared their love of cheesecakes with Shadow once and now it's the only thing the imp will buy them.. take a break gods, pomegranates are also pricey but appreciated

Vio: 5`4

[eldritch-elrics]

sir, that evil slime is doing some kirby-ass shit to our darkmoon deity

[luffysscraps]

Please I have baby fever! I NEED monster trio as dads headcanons. I blame Bluey for this. Thanks in advance 💕🤞🏾

Monster trio as fathers

Ft; Luffy, Zoro, Sanji

Cw; Fem reader. Nothing else just fluff.

•Luffy

Luffy gets you pregnant by accident. But he’s not worried about it at all, he’s really happy. “We’re having a baby?! That’s so cool!” He’s very excited to be a father but knows little to nothing about it.

You two have a baby girl. And he’s so happy! He doesn’t care much about the gender of the baby. He’ll love his child no matter what. The second she’s out of you and into his hands he holds her up for everyone to see. “Look! Look she’s here!” He shouts while joyful tears fall from his cheeks.

His little girl gets only the best from Luffy. He bathes her, feeds her and changes her all the time. He feeds her a little bit too much, and she has a never ending stomach like her father. She’s almost always hungry resulting in baby chub.

A giggly baby! This girl loves to laugh! She laughs more then anything else and with her jokester of a father she gets more then enough daily giggles. His stretchy skin makes for a great toy! He can pull on his face and make funny faces. Give her a finger to tug and listen to her laugh as it stretches. And even great to chew on. She kinda ends up thinking every human is like that though and tugs on people randomly. And she’s got a lot of strength for a baby (I mean look at who her dad is.) The force of her tug was enough to trip Zoro.

But once she’s old enough to start crawling and waddling, Luffy’s always active with her, chasing her, playing tag with her and playing with her. Her baby chub quickly melts away with him around. She’s so playful, always babbling and tugging on his leg to chase her and Luffy’s always up for the challenge. She has Luffy’s big wide eyes and looks like a carbon copy of her father.

These two are always talking, like always. Even when she literally can’t communicate beyond a few words and the rest is babbles. He will sit there and listen to her for hours on end and respond to everything she’s saying as if she’s actually speaking. He loves hearing her voice, whether it’s her managing to say ‘papa’ or her spitting her tongue out at him.

He takes her everywhere with him. He’s always holding her close to his chest while exploring new towns and villages. Everyone tells him not to bring her into dangerous places but he doesn’t listen. So to calm everyone’s nerves a little bit, Franky makes him a chest baby carrier that’s reinforced with armor. That only ends up making it worse though because now he thinks he can take her exploring with him. Like this man sees no problem in adventuring in a scary, dark forest where man eating predators are everywhere with a baby. He slingshots back to the ship with her in her carrier giggling against his chest and he feels proud of himself. Only for Nami to hit him and tell him how dangerous that was. The only situation he hands her off to you or someone else is when he’s about to engage in a tough battle. He’s confident in his skills and knows he can win but he’s not taking any chances of his sunshine getting hurt.

Given she looks just like her father, (and the fact he practically shoved her in Koby’s and Helmeppo’s faces when their fleet showed up to apprehend them) the navy knows the king of the pirates has a child. They’ve been trying to wipe you off the map for some time now and the same goes for your daughter despite her only being months old. No matter they’re not getting their hands on her. Luffy is serious when anything has to do with his daughter and if the marines think they can pull a fast one on him and kidnap his daughter, He sends their whole fleet to a watery grave. Even taking out every nearby marine base in the area to send a loud and clear message to the marines. ‘Don’t fuck with his daughter.’

When she’s around 5 the two somehow manage to get even closer then before. With her newfound ability to talk and make sense while doing it. They talk for HOURS. About food, games, books, the sky, fishing, everything. He tells her tales of his adventures and how her papa became pirate king. The two are best friends.

In all honesty he wants another one, maybe two, or three if you let him. She brings him back to when he was a kid and he wants her to have siblings like he did. But then he remembers an important lesson that he passes down to his daughter.

Luffy sits on the thousand Sunny’s figurehead. His daughter sitting besides him and wearing her straw hat that he had passed down to her. The little girl carrying the legacy of the king of the pirates without knowing it. They’re both silent but it’s a comfortable silence. He then looks over to her with a soft smile on his lips, bringing a finger up to her cheek and poking her. He laughs and brings her closer to him sitting her down on his lap. Some wisdom from the past remerges while he watches the sunset with his daughter. And suddenly he begins to speak. “Here’s a little secret sunshine, once you share a bottle of sake, you can become siblings with anyone.”

“Really? That’s all it takes?”

“Of course it does! Your papa would never lie to you! So when you find your long lost sibling. Rejoice with them over sake. Alright?”

“Alright papa!” Luffy smiles and looks at the setting sun wondering what the future held for the little girl who had the world in her palms.

•Zoro

“Run that by me again…?” Just like Luffy, Zoro gets you pregnant by accident. It’s not that he’s scared or anything, you’re the only woman he’d want to have a child with. But it’s just that he’s not prepared. It was something he wasn’t expecting.

The two of you have a baby boy. In all honesty that’s what he was hoping for. You swear while you’re recovering from giving birth you heard him give out a small cheer in triumph when Chopper announced the gender. ‘Did he think this was a challenge?!’ He’s attached the second he holds him. His son melts his heart when he grasps his giant finger with his tiny one.

Although he wasn’t prepared he’s surprisingly good with a child. He changes him, feeds him and bathes him. Bonding over the little moments like washing out his hair for the first time. You swear you saw tears but this man literally forced the tear back into his eye when you pointed it out.

His son is silent baby. He doesn’t cry, he doesn’t whine. He only lets out small babbles every now and again when he’s trying to get your attention. You ask Chopper if he’s okay and he’s perfectly healthy. He just doesn’t show a lot of emotion. You can get him to laugh, giggle and smile if you try but on the day to day he is totally silent.

When Zoro has to watch him, he trains with him on top of him. Using his son as a little extra weight. It’s kinda adorable actually. He’s lifting up tons of weight above his head while the baby boy is sucking his thumb in the sling around his chest. He’s acting so tough while doing dead lifts. And every time he comes back down he gives his son a little forehead kiss.

When he begins crawling and waddling Zoro is determined to get him walking. He’s literally the best baby coach, always hyping his son up for the littlest things. “ ‘Atta boy!” “That’s my son!” “Did anyone else see that?! That’s my kid! He came from me!” Like- calm down he just clapped his hands. He supports his son in every little thing and helps him walk for the first time. Again he sucks up his tears and pretends he’s not crying. He’s so proud of the little guy.

He mostly hands him off to you when you guys are on a new island. He knows his son is safe with you, and with you carrying the baby he can protect both of you at the same time. Plus he’s known to get lost and one of his worse fears is getting lost with his child. If he’s lost by himself as least he knows you two are both safe. If he got lost with his child he’d be paranoid for his child’s safety. He knows he can protect him from any physical harm but he can’t use three sword style with him near. Plus he’d have to make sure he’s hydrated, and well fed, and it’s just a lot of stress on him. It’s better if you have him and stick in groups when exploring.

When he’s finally starting to walk on his own Zoro buys him a small wooden toy sword. And just like his father he’s skilled with a sword. He loves it a lot, he likes to swing it on anything and everything. He often knocks anyone who walks past him on their legs and his favorite victim is Sanji. And Zoro’s just like “Yes, Yes hit him!” You apologize daily to Sanji when you find your son has been beating him up all day. Your son is confused, Papa says yes and mama says no. So to please you both he hits Sanji when his father’s near and doesn’t when you’re nearby.

Once he’s 5 Zoro starts training his little boy. He’s not soft on him at all and respects him as a swordsmen. Although Zoro loved his teacher when he was younger he just had wished he had treated him like he was an equal instead of a child. So he instructs his son as if they are equal. Most think this would cause him to relent his father but your son has Roronoa genes and it just bonds him closer with his father.

Zoro’s sword clashes against the smaller sword as his son’s stance was getting tougher and harder to block. Nonetheless Zoro doesn’t let him win. He smacks the sword out of his hand and makes him yield. “That’s another win-“ Zoro goes to speak but he sees the slight tension in his son’s eyes and immediately bends down to the boy’s height. “What’s troubling ya kid?”

“I just don’t get it. I can defeat pirates twice my size, Marines, almost anyone, but I can’t beat you.” Zoro hears his son’s lament and it reminds him of a familiar feeling he had when he was younger. And before he can speak another word Zoro leans in and hugs him. “So? What does it matter. Maybe one day you’ll beat me, maybe one day you won’t. Maybe one day you’ll beat someone stronger than me… maybe you won’t. And that’s okay. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, and if you want to defeat me well it’ll take a lot longer and more practice.” Zoro picks up the green haired boy and holds him in his hands running a hand through his shaggy locks.

“Don’t pressure yourself. Just worry about what you can do today. Tomorrow will always exist.” Zoro says simply and that calms the five year old’s nerves. The male gives him a smile and ruffles his locks before going to leave the crow’s nest. “Alright now let’s find mama.”

•Sanji

Unlike everyone else, Sanji gets you pregnant because you two think you’re ready for a child. Keyword Is think. “Oh my love~ I’ve prepared the strawberries cream cheese and jalapeños you’ve request~!“ You don’t lift a finger during your pregnancy. Sanji does everything for you and forbids you to go exploring or fight during this time. For better or for worse you stay with the Sunny every time it docks. And Sanji prefers to stay with you every time but if he genuinely can’t and needs to help protect the crew he kisses you like it’s his last every single time.

You two have a baby girl and Sanji is ecstatic. He’s going overboard already, buying hundreds of outfits, toys and baby equipment. He bathes her, cleans her, feeds her and if he knew how Sanji would breath for her. You rarely get to see her and she’s YOUR baby. Like Sanji’s practically raising her all by himself. He does her hair, combing her long blonde locks back into two big pigtails. She looks just like her father, even having his ‘curly brows’.

She’s a shy baby. She’s a scaredy cat, and she cries easily. Sanji’s always there to help her feel better. He’s always there to rock her to sleep, and to play with her to stop her from crying. It takes a while for her to get settled with the crew as they all sorta scared her and made her tear up. But Zoro scared her the most for some odd reason. She starts screaming and crying whenever he enters the room and Sanji immediately gets pissed at him. “GET OUT OF HERE MOSS HEAD!” And your daughter is grateful her father’s there to protect her from that scary man.

He sits her down in a high chair nearby while he’s cooking. Making sure to keep her far away from any harm but close enough encase she falls out of the chair. She loves to sing and babble Melodies. She makes the perfect cooking partner. He listens to her sing while he works and hands off little cuts of food to her to taste. “Hmm this taste good?” He’d ask when he hands her a slice carrot. She babbles happily nodding her head while chewing on the carrot slice.

He’s a helicopter parent. He’s always making sure his baby girl is safe. He’s always checking that knifes are put away, and that she can’t play with anything dangerous. Hell he even bubble wraps some baby toys that are too sharp for his likings (calm down babe it’s a plastic fishing rod). He keeps her away from the railings, standing far back and holding her tightly so there’s no chance of her falling in. The worse thing that could possibly happen to him is if she ever gets hurt. Even small bumps or her falling down breaks his self esteem. “I’m a terrible father, how could I have let this happen.” He soothes her pain to the best of his ability but feels so, so terrible he let it happen.

He’s a picture dad. Whoever let this man get his hands on a camera made the biggest mistake of their lives because now they have to deal with him showing them baby pictures of her. Every single second of the day. “Oh! Oh here’s where she spit out her tongue at her food! And here’s her sleepy face! Isn’t she so adorable!” He gushes over her showing them pictures and taking up their life while his daughter is right there staring at them both. He takes pictures of every little moment and makes not just one scrap book, but multiple. On every island he makes sure to stock up on camera film because it’s most likely going to be gone by tomorrow.

Speaking of which when the Sunny is docked on a new island your daughter is with you at all times. Knowing Luffy’s attraction to danger and how he’s one of the strongest he often has to fight. He instructs you to run and hide in the safest place possible with your daughter if danger arises. He trusts you to protect her but when push comes to shove but he rather you both are safe while there’s danger around. And if you’re threatened, or worse. Your daughter is. Sanji will rip anyone who threatens his family apart and with no remorse. Even women. That’s how you know he’s serious.

When she’s 5 Sanji’s even closer with his little one. He buys her anything she asks for! It’s all worth it just to see her smile. (Nami never gives him allowance anymore since he spent millions of berry on a purebred horse rental for her). She’s the sweetest little girl around, and has a soft spot for animals. She wants to become a veterinarian even. And while Sanji knows little to nothing about animal care, he’s still his daughter’s biggest fan and supporter. But his world opened when he found his daughter we crying, he wondered why but then saw the dead squirrel in her palms. She must have snuck it back on the ship and kept it as a pet, but due to Sanji’s sheltering she didn’t know what was going on. He neglected to teach her about death, he thought such scary things and concepts could wait until she was older but it was clear he made a mistake.

“P-papa….” “Oh come here sweetheart…” Sanji engulfs her in a hug and pulls her into his lap while she cries into his chest. “I don’t know why he won’t wake up! I brought him food and water! B-but he hasn’t woken up in two days! I-I don’t know why but I feel sad! W-what’s wrong with Mr. Squirrel?” As his daughter cries and sniffles against him he doesn’t know where to start really. He stammers over his words before he starts. “Honey…Mr. Squirrel is dead…” “He stopped breathing and now he’s not here anymore. No one knows where you go when you die but he’s not with us anymore.”

“O-oh… well can he come back and say goodbye first?”

“I’m sorry sweetie but that’s not possible.”

“Oh well…. Can… can we die too? Is that gonna happen to you one day? And… mama? And me?”

“Yes sweetheart. Everyone dies. But it’s always at the right time, you’ll make memories you’ll never forget and when it’s time for your journey to end. It must meet its end.”

“I don’t want to die.”

“No one does. And if you could live forever I’d find a way for you too. But for now it’s something that happens to everyone and everything. There’s no need to be scared of it. It’s just apart of life. Don’t worry about it now my love, for now we can burry Mr. Squirrel and have a funeral at the next island. Would you like that my dear?”

The air is quite somber as the little girl processes what death is and that she can’t run away from it. Her tears come to a stop and suddenly she doesn’t feel that sad anymore now that she realizes it’s a part of life. “Mmhmm… I’d like that.” She whispers and Sanji smiles at her picking her up and exiting her bedroom. “Now let’s go find a shoebox to put him in until the next island.”

[amyyythestarry]

Smiling Critters HCs!

( Mostly Dogday and Catnap )

I’ve gotten interested in Poppy playtime, especially with the smiling critters and me and my sister literally just came up with random hcs and scenarios for them if they had a cartoon. So now I’m sharing the ideas.

Catnap always sleeping.

Dogday and Catnap are the main characters of the show, but Dogday is the only one who is actively committing the role.

( Not to be confused with this being a thing where they are acting in the show or anything. Like, they’re literally just in the show. If that makes sense )

Catnap, in every episode, is either sleeping, observing what’s going on and not really participating that much, or not in the picture in that episode. In this is just something with every episode of the series.

He can sleep automatically, just drop to the floor and knock out. So I feel like he’d use that ability to his advantage, to get out of trouble.

Scenario: Miss Delight comes into the critter’s playroom (?) and asks if anyone ate the last of the cookies and milk without permission.

Everyone is confused, because they’re all saying they didn’t do it. So they just assume someone’s lying, and they argue about it.

Catnap’s asleep somewhere in the corner.

He was sleepy before, but he made himself look busy with napping so nobody would suspect he ate the cookies and milk.

2. Copycat ( Literally an episode name me and my sister created. We are the best brainstormers ever ).

Dogday and the rest of the smiling critters are always trying to get Catnap to play with them/participate in what they are doing.

I imagine Catnap as one of those characters in cartoons that are semi-nonverbal, and just aloof, definitely. So he doesn’t speak much. He can, just doesn’t.

This is an early episode, apart of S1 or something, when they still haven’t heard Catnap say much of anything to them. Sure he plays with them sometimes, but the instances are little to nothing.

They’re in a park for recess, the smiling critters are just playing around with each other and everything. Catnap is in a tree trying to sleep.

And like in literally every episode/day, Dogday notices that Catnap isn’t hanging out with them, so he and his friends goes up to the tree and calls for him.

They all keep calling Catnap’s name, trying to get him to join their game of tag. And little do they know Catnap is kind of tired of their sh** and noisy pestering.

“Hey Catnap, come down and play tag with us!” - Dogday.

Catnap finally turns around to acknowledge the critters, looking down at them from the tree.

“Hey Catnap, come down and play tag with us.”

He purposely mimics what Dogday says.

And Day just replies with a small ‘what?’.

The critters all look at each other, swearing they just heard Nap speak.

“What did you say, Catnap?” - Kickin Chicken.

“What did you say, Catnap?”

Now the critters are actually shocked.

“Catnap, did you just speak?!” - Bobby Bearhug.

”Catnap, did you just speak?!”

He does this enough times to confuse everyone now. And then they actually start to get weirded out and they call Miss Delight.

”Miss Delight, Catnap is acting strange!”

Then Nap walks in suddenly, staring at all of them ( Kind of creepily ), as he says,

“Miss Delight, Catnap is acting strange.”

This continues for the whole episode. Just him copying what his friends say. But ONLY if it mentions his name. Because he’s tired of them always calling his name anyway.

I don’t know how the ep might end, but the smiling critters still bother Nap after the episode his over, and as he has already stopped with the copycat game. That is also deemed as the first time in the show that Catnap has spoken. Not the last, obviously, he continues to talk whenever he needs to, but it’s still kind of seldom.

3. Dogday’s allergies.

Dogs can’t eat a lot of things, so I think Day would not be allowed to eat a lot of things like a realistic dog.

It’s an episode where the critters are enjoying themselves during a picnic, Delight isn’t really around because it’s not a school day.

Picky Piggy offers some cookies to everyone that she made herself, and everyone takes one. Except for Dogday.

His excuse is that he oddly always feels sick whenever he eats chocolate chip cookies specifically, so he doesn’t try to eat cookies much.

Picky just pulls out another cookie flavor, oatmeal chocolate chip, and gives it to Day.

Day takes it, thinking that since this isn’t chocolate chip, it wouldn’t make him feel sick!

After eating two of those cookies, he does in fact feel sick. His stomach hurts and his bones exhaust.

Miss Delight makes him feel better with some special stomachache medicine or something.

All of the critters are confused and curious about this, so they try giving Day other cookies because they think not being able to eat cookies is just devastating.

So the whole episode they all make Day taste different cookies, to see which ones make him sick and which ones don’t. Not like an experiment, just to figure out why can’t he eat cookies like the rest of them.

At the near end, Day feels terrible, and they all go to Delight this time, enlightening her about the cookie problem.

And it instantly clicks to Delight once the children tell her what kind of cookies they’ve been giving to Dogday. M&M, double chocolate, cocoa confetti, and even red velvet cookies.

“Children…. You know, dog’s can’t eat chocolate, right?” - Delight.

They all did, in fact, not know that. Miss Delight tells them about it, and they finally understand why Dogday keeps feeling sick when eating cookies.

By the time Day’s also came to the realization, he vomits, the episode ends.

The next one is probably about Day’s friends taking care of him because he’s sick.

Which leads to my next hc anyways.

4. The conclusion of Dogday that Catnap doesn’t like him.

The reason why Dogday thinks that Catnap doesn’t like him, is because it somehow always seems like Nap is trying to kill him.

One of the instances, he’s always giving Day things he can’t eat.

Literally right after the cookie accident, only two days later, and Catnap gives him a treat of chocolate chip cookies. And milk. Both things Day cannot eat.

Scenario: The smiling critters are having breakfast together, in Miss Delight’s house as she makes them pancakes, eggs, bacon accompanying with vegetables and fruits of their choice.

Nap is sitting next to Day. He has pancakes and purple grapes, he loves grapes. Day has bacon and blueberries, giving that he’s not allowed to eat pancakes ( Diary ) and blueberries being his favorite.

Nap decides to be nice, and give Day some of his food, since he heard from Delight that sharing is caring.

He gives Dogday a grape to show kindness.

And Day only looks at the grape kind of confused. He asked why Nap would give this to him, and Nap doesn’t answer.

So Day just gently placed the grape back on Nap’s plate, telling him ‘no thank you’.

Then a minute passes, Dogday looks over at one of his friends for a bit of a second, and turns back at his plate to get another blueberry.

He sees a blueberry bigger than the others that wasn’t there before. It’s actually purple and not blue.

And oh. It’s a grape.

He turns to Catnap, and sees that the cat is only happily eating his pancakes and grapes. But still gives the fruit back to Nap.

“Sorry, bud, I can’t eat this..”

Catnap looks at him, and doesn’t say anything.

Dogday still side glances at Nap for a little while, to see if he’d do anything. Nap doesn’t do anything. He looks back at his plate. And is utterly bewildered on why all of his five blueberries are gone and why they’re now five purple grapes.

He swears Catnap did not move.

He doesn’t know that Catnap just used his long tail to put the grapes there.

Now he can feel Nap’s eyes on him, and knows he’s expecting him to eat the grapes, so he’s a little nervous.

Day doesn’t eat the grapes, and just tells Miss Delight that Nap keeps trying to get him to eat grapes.

Also, after the cookie accident, Miss Delight thought it was good to teach the kids about what their kinds ( Their animal kinds ) can and cannot eats especially dogs like Day.

Catnap was not listening the whole lecture, so he really has no clue why Day didn’t take his grapes.

I’m gonna make a PT 2!

[calypsocolada]

PERCEPTIVE | o. dazai

synopsis: you don't smile around dazai and he's been wondering why. authors note: no notes just dazai. cw: suggestive, making out, flirting, fem reader, c*ckblock kunikida (plot device because i suck writing smut lol) wc: 3k

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Dazai liked causing mischief. He liked keeping people on their toes, and liked annoying his coworkers. You were no exception. When you were hired on as his new assistant the first thing he noticed about you was how you persevered through all his antics. 

He’d accidentally spill coffee on important documents but somehow you had copies. He’d be running late to work and expect a verbal lashing from Kunikida but when he’d get there Kunikida would be happily content and unaware of his absence. 

You were smarter than you let on. 

So Dazai started to test you. 

He’d write bad reports and make a mess of his desk and come back an hour later to find everything in tip top shape and the reports written so impeccably that even Kunikida would be impressed. After a few days of this he saw bags under your eyes and knew it was because he was stressing you out. He stopped the tests right then because you seemed like the type to suffer in silence. He felt that was on par with him. 

So from then on Dazai started to try and make things easier on you. He’d write good enough reports, keep his desk clean and often buy you lunch. He was searching for one thing in return. 

A smile. 

You smiled at everybody else and no matter the jokes or things he did for you you were always just very professional. It drove Dazai mad. He didn’t know why he wanted to make you smile so bad. Or why he wanted to hear your laugh. Let alone why he bought you lunch everyday and started trying harder at his job. These questions started popping up in his brain more often now. He’d sit at his desk and steal glances at yours. You were very elegant, that was another thing he noticed. Your handwriting was perfect, the way you ate, no matter what it was you found a neat way to eat it. Your voice was soft and you read at your desk on slow days. Dazai started writing down books that you read so that he could read them and see if he could find some part of you hidden between the lines. 

All of this was driving him crazy. 

The last straw broke when he saw you talking to Kunikida one day in the breakroom. You were at the table with him, legs crossed, hair in a loose braid. You were smiling and laughing. At Kunikida. Dazai couldn’t comprehend what could be so funny. Let alone Kunikida saying something that could make you laugh like that. 

That was the moment it hit him. Like a ton of bricks, sitting at his desk staring across the room at you. It all fell into place like leaves on a fall day. Dazai never thought it could happen, let alone to himself. He loved you. He was sick to his stomach, a love bug infecting his entire person. He’d never felt more stupid in his life. If he saw anyone else acting this way he could figure it out in seconds but since it was happening to him he had just shrugged it off. But he couldn’t do that anymore because he felt physically ill watching Kunikida make you laugh. It wasn’t that he didn’t want you to be happy but goddamnit he wanted to be that cause of happiness sometimes for you. 

Dazai let his head fall into his hand, sighing and groaning obnoxiously loud. He literally had a book you were reading last week on his desk, how could he have been so blind? 

“Mr. Dazai?” A pleasant voice broke through his melancholia. He slowly raised his head to see you, standing by his desk. Your braid was tucked behind your back, loose strands of hair falling in your face. For some reason his throat closed up. All this thinking had stuttered his ability to speak to you now because now he knew. He knew what you meant to him. 

“Hm?” Was all he could muster and he felt pathetic for it.

“Would you like a coffee?” You asked and he knew it was because you had caught him looking fraught. You were so perceptive. Dazai cleared his throat.

“I would,” He says pushing up from his chair, you look at him in confusion. 

“Tagging along?” You ask and he nods his head. You lead the way and Dazai can’t help but feel like an idiot. He finally had you alone and he was walking two steps behind you unable to speak. A part of him wished he never figured it out. You slowed your pace so that you two were walking side by side. “Something on your mind, Mr. Dazai?” You asked, tilting your head to catch his eyes. It works and you have him blushing. 

“Uh- nono, nothing’s-- just uh- enjoying the weather.” He says, making a show of looking at the sky. You slowly nod your head, obviously unconvinced.

“Uh huh, it’s getting chilly, do you like the fall?” You ask as Dazai clears his throat, pursing his lips. He was being so utterly uncool around you it was making him annoyed. 

“It’s preferable to summer, do you like the fall?” 

“Yes.” You answer simply. Dazai looks over at you, watches your eyes dance along a tree, the leaves changing with the season. He admires you as you admire the world. You’re so pretty, so interesting he wonders if someone has already noticed that about you, wonders if you already have someone that cares and that you love. It twists his stomach thoroughly. “Mr. Dazai?” God he wanted you to call him Osamu, he wondered how it would sound on your lips.

“Uh yes?” He stutters when he remembers you addressed him. 

“Read much?” You ask, there's a slight amusement to your voice that he picks up on immediately. His eyes devour your facial expressions. You were teasing him, which meant you had seen the book on his desk, even when he tried to hide it discreetly under a stack of papers. 

“Apparently.” He answers as you turn to face him. 

“That’s the third book you’ve read of mine, are you trying to tell me something?” You ask, your lips curving into something close to a smile. He wanted more.

“Just trying to figure you out.” He answers, a slight breeze picking up at his words. 

“Have you?”

“Have I what?”

“Figured me out.” You answer, turning to look straight ahead as the sidewalk gets a bit busier. Dazai pushes through to keep close to you. 

“You read stories of tragic love. This last one nearly brought a tear to my eyes. Though from what I’ve observed it barely affects you.”

“It’s just a story.” You answer, holding the door to the cafe open for him.

“You don’t get attached to the characters?” He asks as you two stand shoulder to shoulder in a very long line. 

“I do. I just can’t cry at work, that might freak some people out.” You say wryly. Dazai chuckles warmly. 

“Might I suggest your next read?” He asks as you turn your head to meet his eyes. 

“Okay.”

“Maybe something romantic, with less tragedy.”

“I like the dramatics.” You answer with a scuff of a laugh. 

“You’re very serious.” Dazai says, watching you raise your brows. 

“Yes, is that okay?”

“More than. I need that balance.”

“Oh do you know?” You ask, there’s something in your voice, something in the way you spoke that has Dazai pausing. Unluckily for him your two are next, you put in the order and he follows you to the other side of the counter to wait for your drinks. He watched as you tucked some loose hair behind your ear and smiled gently at the barista as they handed you the drinks. So a barista could get a smile but Dazai couldn’t? You handed him his drink, his fingers brushing yours in the exchange and that’s when he saw it. Just barely after the touch your cheeks pinkened and you slyly looked away from him as you took a sip of your drink. The little moment was so quick that he thought he might’ve dreamt it. You led the way back outside and held the door for him. This time he purposefully brushed against you and this time your cheeks reddened. Dazai hid his smirk behind his cup as he started walking.

“You have a very pretty smile, you know?” He asks, carefully watching how you reacted. It took you a moment to speak. 

“I don’t think so.” You answered simply, seemingly cool but Dazai had sniffed a trail and he was going to follow it.

“You don’t?”

“It envelopes my face too much.”

“It’s perfect, it makes your face light up, but how would I know since you never smile around me…” He trails off teasingly. He doesn’t miss the quick glance you give him. As if realizing he noticed something you were keeping hidden.

“Your a menace, Mr. Dazai. What’s to smile about?”

��Call me Osamu.” Your midship as he says it, his voice all saccharine honey. You choke slightly, coughing. “Oh dear, slow sips.”

“Hush. It.” You cough out, clearing your throat. Dazai laughs wholeheartedly. Your eyes find his face, he’s so pretty when he laughs. He squints at you and you look away quickly. Guess he didn’t need those books to figure you out because now he knew all. 

“We should go out to dinner tonight.” Dazai says casually, carelessly as though he was speaking of the weather. 

“Dinner?” You echo and he looks down at you, nodding his head. “For what purpose?”

“A date.”

“A- date?” You echoed again, he didn’t take his eyes from yours. Again he nodded his head, cocking it slightly. 

“That’s what I want, I’m sure it’s what you want to.”

“You’re so sure?” You ask and his lips quirk up in a smirk as he nods his head again. “How so?”

“You don’t smile around me.” He says simply, sipping the rest of his coffee, tossing it in a trash can before slipping his hands in his pocket. You blink. 

“Okay… and?”

“And you don’t like your smile, so why would you do it around someone you fancy?” He asks so casually. Your expression drops as he holds the door open to the building the agency is located in. You pause. He caught you red handed. He purses his lips at you. Never once did you think his little sleuthing skills would sus you out. You bit at the inside of your cheek and cursed yourself for not being able to refute it in time because too many seconds had passed. You sigh, pushing past him. 

“You're annoyingly perceptive.” You say. Dazai laughs at that as you reach and press the button to the elevator. Part of you wishes you can slip on and close the doors real quick before he can but when the doors open, you're too in your head and Dazai strolls on before you can do anything. Dejectedly you walk in too and stand on the opposite side far from him as the doors slide closed. You can feel the weight of his eyes on you, you sip your cold coffee, not enough to ease the heat under your skin. “Stop looking at me.” You whisper as though someone other than Dazai could’ve possibly heard you. 

“Something wrong?” He asks and you can hear the smirk in his voice. It made you miss the moments where he seemed like the nervous one. “You’re extremely red.”

“Shut up.”

“Like the actual shade of maroon.”

“Go to hell.” You snap. 

But why would he be nervous around you if not for… oh. Gaining just the smallest bit of control over the situation you remembered what it meant to see he was reading something you were reading for the first time. Or catching him staring at you across the room multiple times over the day. Him buying you lunch and snapping at Atsushi when he lingered by your desk too long. The door to the elevator slid open and you turned to him, motioning him first.

“Such a lady.” He says, walking out first, you follow. But Dazai stops, blocking the door. “We have work to do, you know?” You sigh but he just leans in and presses a soft kiss against your lips. You let out a little gasp, your coffee splashing onto your hand. You raise your hand to push him away but you feel the warmth of his own eclipse the side of your face, stirring up something in the pit of your stomach. His fingers barely slide into your hair, surely messing up your braid but you can’t find it in you to be annoyed because he’s kissing you so expertly. Walking you back until you're pressed up against the wall just by the detective agency door and pressing himself against you. You let out a small noise that he devours. When he pulls back for a breath you speak.

“Osamu, I-” He’s back on you in seconds. Hearing his name on your pink swollen lips, your voice slightly hoarse and out of breath, he could’ve devoured you whole right there in that moment. Suddenly there’s a click, the door to the agency being pulled open. You shove Dazai off of you and turn away from whoever was walking out. Your cheeks and hair are surely a mess.

“Ah Dazai, of course I’d find you out here slacking off.” Kunikida says disapprovingly, his eyes turning to you. “And keeping Ms. L/n from her duties, shameful.” He says walking further into the hallway. You clear your throat, brushing your fingers through your hair. Kunikida looks at you. 

“Ms. L/n? Are you feeling well? Do you need something?” Kunikida asks.

“Nothing I can’t provide her.” Dazai replies, making your cheeks go even redder. 

“What? Dazai, she looks hot.”

“Yes,” He agrees. “Very hot.”

“Quite messing around!” Kunikida growls.

“I’m fine. Really, just gonna get back to work.” You say, pushing past Dazai back into the agency. You practically run to your desk, burying yourself in your work. Everybody else had left for the day, you just needed to finish one report then you could leave too. Dazai walks in a moment later and stroll to your desk. “Leave me alone.”

“We should talk about what just happened.” Dazai says as you refuse to look up at him, fuming. 

“Nothing happened, I don’t know what you're talking about.” You answer stubbornly. 

“Oh really?” He’s quick, deft fingers sliding under your chin to tilt it up. “Let me jog your memory.” He purrs just before leaning and meeting your lips with his own.You didn’t expect the kiss but that didn’t mean it wasn’t waiting there hungrily between you both for months and months. You didn’t expect his hands, covered in scars, to feel so soft against your face. But you had wanted and needed this so badly your eyes practically pleading every moment you looked at him. The world turned around you as you slowly rose to your feet, Dazai pulling you onto the top of your desk until he was standing between your knees. The grasp you had held onto so tightly was loosening. Your lips parted in a gasp and Dazai, with a growl of barely contained want. And he kissed you deeper and harder. Pressing you back against the desk, things knocking off left and right. Your lips parted in invitation and Dazai was never one to leave an opportunity unexplored. Every part of him was pressing against you, he wanted to make this special, make every touch one that you would crave and remember. He wanted you to be reading your silly books of tragedy in your desk chair and think about this moment. Your hands slipped into his hair, tugging slightly.

“Oh- my god!” Kunikida exclaimed from the door. This was like a bucket of cold water to the moment completely. Dazai pushed up slightly, shooting a glare at Kunikida. “And to think I was worried you were sick.” Kunikida sighs, looking horrified. You pushed Dazai off you, getting to your feet. You didn’t talk as you picked up things you two knocked over onto the ground. Dazai leaned and grabbed the last thing, handing it to you, you grabbed it, your fingers brushing over his. It sent a chill down your spine. You grabbed your bag and looked at your feet as you left, too embarrassed to look Kunikida in the eyes. You rode the elevator alone and when it stopped at the ground floor you slipped out into the cold, inhaling a deep deep breath, leaning against the cold brick. The door pushed open behind you. 

“There you are.” Dazai says, walking and slinging your jacket over your shoulder. “Come on, I’ll give you a ride home.” You shook your head. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea after everything. I mean,” You sighed. “I’m probably gonna get fired anyways but-”

“No one’s firing anyone.” Dazai says as you bite your lip.

“There’s no way he won’t tell Fukuzawa.” You say as Dazai cocks his head, his brown hair falling into his eyes. 

“There is a way and I already took care of it.” He shrugs as you look up at him.

“How?”

“That’s a secret.” He says, slowly sliding his arm over your shoulders. “Come on, I’m not letting you walk, it’s too cold.”

“I like the cold.” You say, knowing if you got in that car he’d probably have you in his lap in seconds. It seems any hope of control has now been squandered. If you couldn’t control yourself in the office, his car, with dark windows and a long ride home, was going to prove to be a challenge. 

“Do you really?” He asks with a smirk.

“You better be a gentleman.” You say with a sigh, letting him lead you to his car. 

“I’ll be as gentle as you want, love.” He says and you can’t help it, after being caught red handed you start laughing, rolling your eyes. 

“You’re the worst.” You smile as he leans and presses a kiss to your lips.

[ariseur]

'Ello luv, it's been a while since I saw someone writing for DMC ugh, miss when dmc(5) was trending... What a good time!

I don't know if your requests are open or not, but catch up with me!! Our pretty girls and boys with a vampire!reader! Or or— A WITCH! BOTH

Like, you choose if it's a bunch of headcanons, blurbs, a full one shot with a character or not, I just really want to see it!

Well, obviously if you can do it honey, if you can't it's fine <3

dmc crew dating a vampire 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

devil may cry x reader

┊ ˚➶ notes ｡˚ 🎼

this was actually my first request on this blog!! i don’t know why i put it off for so long bc it’s literally so cool?? i ended up just doing a vampire instead of witch/vampire witch so i hope you guys enjoy considering my phone crashed trying to copy n paste this from my notes to tumblr 💋

┊ ˚➶ warnings ｡˚ 🎼

blood (but in the vampire way ykyk), fangs and mentions of sharp teeth, intended lowercase, kinda spoilers for dmc5 in v’s,

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓓ANTE — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ you are literally so hot in DANTE’s eyes, you could honestly do no wrong.

❥ i think you guys already know what i’m gonna say..

❥ if you feed on blood or need it for some sort of sustenance, dante will gladly volunteer. he thinks it’s the hottest thing ever.

❥ although, i’m not sure if vampires much like demon blood..

❥ eh, oh well. dante will still think it’s attractive, especially if you have fangs or some sort of sharper canines.

❥ only downside to being a vampire and dating dante is that you’ll occasionally hear a super bad transylvanian accent. like.. really bad.

❥ but!! if you’re also a demon hunter like him— and you have some cool freaky powers like draining blood or energy from empusas or really just any ability that’s useful, it’s heart eyes all around from him.

❥ you could be covered in blood or feasting on something and then you’ll spot dante in the corner wielding devil sword dante after defeating like seventy fuckin other demons and he’s just.. mesmerized.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓥ERGIL — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ VERGIL’s much more curious about your species. do you have any weaknesses? are the fictionalized versions of your kind portrayed accurately? what are you exactly?

❥ luckily he’s a lot more quiet about his curiosity compared to, maybe— nico. his staring is intimidating, though. when he sits with you or near you, he’ll usually just study you. maybe it looks like he’s judging but he’s really just analyzing your appearance. especially if you have any distinctive features.

❥ if you have that dark ruddy aesthetic, he’ll likely admire from afar even if red isn’t exactly his favorite color.

❥ if you really needed it, he’d let you feed off of him although it’s definitely not his first choice. he’s not really a fan of being bitten, especially if you need to bite his neck or something like that.

❥ probably finds some esoteric artistic poem or painting with an underlying meaning of having to do with vampires and thinks of you every time he looks at it.

❥ his gothic poetic side is showing

❥ ugh i just wanna kiss his scowl so bad but i also wanna punch him.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓝ERO — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ nero literally thinks it’s so cool.

❥ he might be a little wary once he first meets you? like are you gonna tackle him rn and sacrifice him with your own lil blood ritual?

❥ but once he finds out you’re docile or that you pick and choose on whom you feed on, he’s like, “oh okay that’s cool”

❥ probably like dante where the only version he knows of vampires are the hollywood adaptations of them. so like.. he’s confused if you can go into sunlight? or you can eat certain foods? or if you can go near churches??

❥ he, too, thinks you’re super hot. however!! very iffy about you drinking blood or feeding in front of him. not like it grosses him out but it’s kinda.. weird to watch for him?? idk.

❥ another thing is that he doesn’t want you biting him at all. he’s like vergil where he’ll be baffled if you even ask, except he’s super hesitant to offer himself unless you’re super injured and in dire need of it.

❥ just step on him to shut him up atp

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓥 — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ V’s goth ass won’t shut up about how divine your species is and how fascinating he finds you.

❥ curious on your feeding habits and what you essentially need to survive, tries to find any and every book that he can about vampires so he can learn about you even more.

❥ he’s like those people who romanticize the 1800s or the salem witch trials or greece or ethel cain or lana del rey while kicking their feet and posting about it. he will find a way to make the situation poetic, trust me.

❥ finds it amusing if you’re annoyed by griffon’s teasing and threaten to eat him first if you were to ever go rogue, you might even be able to get a close mouthed chuckle out of v.

❥ utterly fascinated by just your very being, even if it’s just mundane traits. especially loves to see your fangs, dunno why but they’re just aesthetically pleasing to him.

❥ considering he’s kinda like a deteriorating human that’s basically turning into a husk, i wouldn’t recommend feeding on him unless you plan to kill him—which who would wanna murder our emo bae right here? (capcom)

❥ the type of person to roll his eyes at false folklore and representation because he’s literally in love with an actual vampire?? how dare they portray you like this??

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓛ADY — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ LADY also finds you super hot!!

❥ also interested because she’s probably never seen a vampire outside of media— so it’s a nice change of pace rather than being face to face with demons all day.

❥ despite all this, after the initial introduction, i’m not sure she’d care too hard? like— sure, you’re considered a supernatural being and all that.

❥ and although she thinks it’s super dope, i feel like it wouldn’t matter as much to her. she’s seen and done a lot of things at such a young age, i feel as though she’s almost desensitized?

❥ she’s so badass she can’t even care. she’s literally respected by dante, whom is titled ‘the legendary devil hunter’. (dmc5 did her dirty with her lack of part in the storyline 💔)

❥ she’ll respect any of your needs, and ngl also thinks you biting into her neck is hot.

❥ kinda surprised that you’re able to go out into sunlight even if she’ll never tell you that 😭

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓣RISH — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ another one who doesn’t care that much. it’s not like TRISH is dismissive of your species and where you come from, but she’s literally a full on demon who’s probably seen everything.

❥ you guys r so hot though, like the ultimate power couple.

❥ oh, and if you’re a devil hunter, too? you guys r gonna kick sm ass together. she’ll invite you to roll around with her for a while rather than with dante, although if you’re associated with devil may cry then that’s fine too. she’ll put up with dante’s ass just to visit you more often.

❥ i don’t recommend feeding off of trish?

❥ idk how vampires take to drinking demon blood

❥ but shit, if you have that red aesthetic and are just a total femme fatale (or other gender equivalent to that), trish is in charge of your outfits now.

❥ don’t even fight it, you will end up in the outfit regardless.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓝ICO — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ oh boy

❥ if you’re lucky enough to survive the first meeting with NICO and you end up actually being in a relationship? you are def a trooper.

❥ when you’re first introduced, she bombards you with questions.

❥ where did you come from? do you have powers? are you like a demon and are there more of you? if so, can she harvest parts for a new bio-weapon? do vampires reproduce the same as humans? are you gonna suck her blood??

❥ she’s just a curious lady cut my girl some slack

❥ she thinks you’re so cool though!! wants you to tell her everything you know about vampires so she can log it. even if you’ve been in a long term relationship, she still can’t help but ask more questions.

❥ but!! as cool and hot as she thinks you are— like nero, she does not wanna see you feed and does not wanna be fed on!! (except.. maybe just one time to see how it feels.)

❥ ugh she just loves you sm please indulge her

[ch0k3herwithaseaview]

@jegulus-microfic | march 25 eyeliner | words: 819

tw: child abuse, blood, mentions of violence in the past

James was going mad, and it was all Walburga’s doing.

It all started when Regulus finally got out of this horrible imitation of a home. The boy was barely past his sixteenth birthday at the time; when he fell out of the Potters' fireplace, Regulus looked even worse than Sirius did the night he ran away. The older brother has been beaten up badly but could manage to stand on his own; on the other hand, the night the younger brother got out, he was fighting for a breath like a man drowning; his whole face was swollen and covered in blood.

When Regulus appeared in their living room, only James and Sirius were home. At the sight of him, they both panicked to the point where they forgot how to think. All Sirius could do was turn Regulus onto his back and hold his head so the younger boy wouldn’t choke on his own blood while crying and begging anyone who would listen to keep his baby brother alive. At the same time, James was running around the house, looking for something—anything—to help his best friend’s brother.

Thankfully, Effie and Monty arrived only a few minutes after Regulus, and as soon as they processed what was happening, they took all three boys to St. Mungo’s.

Not even a week later, Regulus looked like nothing had ever happened to him. At first, all he did around the house was eat, sleep, and argue with Sirius, but as time passed, the arguments turned into talks and helping each other. James didn’t have to ask to know the Black Brothers were trying to fix their relationship; he saw it in the way Sirius talked about Reggie and how he started bringing the younger boy with them on nights out and letting him into his own world. The change was noticeable in Regulus, too; he opened up a little, spent time with James’ parents, and started trying out muggle stuff like records, Polaroid, or cigarettes. Maybe James didn’t know him well, but he understood that those little things were important both for Sirius and Regulus.

In the first half of August, when Regulus was at their house for a little over a month, James found him sitting on a bench in their backyard. He was reading ‘Crime and Punishment’ Effie gave him, while James’ own copy waited to be read under his arm.

“Do you like it?” the Gryffindor asked, taking a seat next to Regulus.

The boy raised his head slowly, evidently reading the last few words on that page. When their eyes met, James literally lost his mind. Not only that, he also lost his ability to hear, feel, and think—everything except for seeing—because right there in front of him sat the boy he always found beautiful, yet at that moment James couldn’t come up with anything as mesmerising as Regulus’ silvery eyes outlined with heavy black. This mix must’ve outshined the star Regulus was named after. James felt like he could fly just by looking into those eyes; he started thinking of a son-

“Potter? Are you quite alright?” A gentle hand on his shoulder pulled James out of his haze. He blinked once, twice, and a third time for good measure before he closed his mouth (When did I even open them?), swallowed thickly, and mumbled something unintelligible. It was Regulus’ time to blink. After a second, the boy burst out into a loud laugh. “Oh god, Potter, come on! It’s just a little bit of eyeliner; Sirius wears it all the time!” Reg kept laughing, still holding James’ shoulder.

“Yeah,” the older boy managed to spit out when the other started calming down. “But he doesn’t look half as good as you do.” Regulus froze, the grin on his face turning into a sheepish little smile, a pretty pink creeping up his pale cheeks. “Oh,” James started, wondering why he’d said that. “I—I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable; I’m so, so very sorry, I—"

“That’s alright, James. I’m-“ The younger boy cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair nervously. “I’m glad you like it,” he finished, biting his lower lip and still smiling a bit.

James, whose smile was normally big and bright, smiled shyly at Regulus.

“Do you mind if I-?” he pointed at his book. The younger Black looked over at him and shook his head slightly.

“Not at all; we can discuss the story later, if you’d like?” It came out as a question more than a statement, so James nodded once and started reading from where he finished last night.

The silence surrounding them was comforting—just a little buzz of bugs flying around and wind rustling leaves on an apple tree a bit ahead of them. Surrounded by all of it and still slightly nervous from earlier, neither of them noticed the glances they were stealing at each other.

[graychrissy]

🌊Digital Detox + Egyptians lucid dreaming method 🌊

Idk what to put on the title of this post so I wrote digital detox and I have copy pasted the main lines.

In the ancient Egypt the Egyptians use to have lucid dreaming alot and it was extremely easy for for them not just Egyptians but it was also mention ancient Indian scriptures.

You’re probably wondering ‘what’s the secret’? The real problem is often NOT your technique. It’s actually another issue that no amount of techniques, articles, reality checks, supplements or uncomfortable masks is going to fix. It’s your ‘inner game’. Specifically, your subconscious motivation and reward circuits, and ‘dopamine cycle’. Travel in your mind for a second, to ancient Egypt.

There were no smart phones, internet connections, computer animated action movies or virtual reality headsets.

Your brain back then would have produced a healthy amount of dopamine as a reward for pretty basic things like eating, working, exploring, and taking some time to relax or meditate

Now our average attention spans are literally less than 7 SECONDS. It’s probably a lot lower than that, and It’s declining every single year with the rise of new, highly addictive and stimulating social media apps and platforms. When was the last time you meditated for over 90 minutes? Have you ever? I’m not saying you have to do that to lucid dream, but this sort of practice was very common 5000 years ago. In fact, it was weird NOT to do that. And herein lies the main problem.

Your brain is ‘fried’ with an overly stimulated dopamine pathway. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter that stimulates the feeling of WANTING to keep doing something. It’s the reason you keep scrolling through Instagram, or keep refreshing your Facebook feed to see if there are any new comments or notifications. But it’s also the SUBCONSCIOUS reason you aren’t able to lucid dream easily. In the last decade especially, there have been billions of dollars spent by big tech to essentially ‘addict you’ to their platforms. Why? Money. The more time and energy you spend on platforms like that, the more money they make. So the task has been given to artificial intelligence. The AIs often just get trained and told a few basic things: 1: Get people to spend more time on the platform 2: Get people to keep coming BACK to the platform as often as possible The ‘AI’ pays almost NO attention to what that would do to your mental health, attention span, motivation, emotions, or really anything else. Much LESS attention is paid to the effect it has on your ability to focus, or do things like, say, lucid dream. Now, the ‘dopamine cycle’ is one part of the problem, but it’s actually pretty easy to fix. There are several little pieces to what I call the ‘modern brain puzzle’. Things that just weren’t a problem 5000 years ago. You can see some of this playing out in children today. On average, children or people under the age of 15, find it MUCH easier to lucid dream than adults do. It’s because at that age, their dopamine system has not been damaged too much. This is of course changing now, as more and more children are having access to smartphones, but it’s an interesting point. In fact not only does the dopamine problem affect your ability to lucid dream, it also affects your ability to WANT to lucid dream (consciously and subconsciously). Specifically I’m talking about your motivation and focus. And you guessed it, there’s your number one cause of problems when trying to meditate, practice techniques like the WILD, or recall your dreams.

After reading this paragraph or stanza whatever,I noticed something,as a kid I had lucid dreams alot with just putting intentions.

My first lucid dream was at around 7-8 years old,and I was sinking when I realised I was dream and I tried controlling my dream and even succeeded,and I was probably there for about 10 minutes playing with underwater creatures and mermaids.

And till 7 grade I use to have alot of lucid dreams but after that I was allowed to use phone and so I was always invested in phone like all the time. By the way lucid dream was pretty normal for me and I pretty much forgot about it and never really paid attention to lucid dreaming. And then I rarely had any lucid dreams, probably 4 times ever since 8 grade and I've noticed every time I lucid dream it's always whenever I don't use any social media.

In 9 grade my phone was taken again because my mother noticed my social media addiction. And after few months I again start to lucid dream for fun easily and effortlessly but during COVID I was again allowed to have my phone and then a new laptop so now my life was revolving around social media again and for the past few year I only lucid dream whenever I don't get to use my phone more then 2 days.

Idk bout y'all but I wasn't allowed to use phones or laptop till 8th grade so the only thing I knew was TV which I only watched after coming home so like my mind was most of the te bored because I didn't had anything to keep it entertain which made it easy for me to observe around looking for things to do.

So how can you reverse the ‘dopamine problem’ and several of the other issues modern life has created? By the way: This is NOT about destroying your phone and going back to live in a cave. There are actually several powerful habits you can install, that will let you KEEP using your phone, laptop etc, but without these harmful effects. Here’s the simple solution to more lucid dreams: 1. Reverse engineer your life and remove distractions, manipulation, ‘dopamine hijacking’ and harmful blue light exposure from your daily routine (along with some other ‘problem patterns’) 2. Get inside your subconscious brain and rewire yourself to WANT to practice lucid dreaming, and to effortlessly do reality checks at the right time, without even trying 3. Learn powerful ‘all day awareness’ and ‘lucid living’ techniques that give your brain superpowers in the fight 4. On top of THAT foundation, learn the most effective techniques and concepts, use our tools to stay motivated, and experience lucid mastery within 14 days. Let’s dive a little bit deeper: First, you have to ‘reverse engineer’ the problem. This can be complicated if you don’t know what you’re doing, but we’ve laid everything out step by step for you. If dopamine addiction is part of the problem, we have to break that addiction first. Then comes your mindset, and your motivation pathways. You need to actually feel GOOD when you practice these things. I see so many people saying they’re struggling to remember to do reality checks, or they just don’t want to wake up at ‘weird times’ to practice. Don’t worry, you won’t have to. It will feel good, and you’ll ENJOY practicing these things. Next, your subconscious mind. It’s SO important to fix your internal beliefs about lucid dreaming, because the chances are you have ‘internal blocks’ about becoming lucid. They’re easy to pick up, but a bit harder to ‘unlearn’. The system shows you how to ‘unlearn’ them, and install new, powerful and self affirming beliefs into your mind. This gives your brain lots more motivation to keep trying. Now, one of the most common things I hear people say is that they can’t REMEMBER to keep doing reality checks. It’s linked to the dopamine problem we mentioned earlier, but it’s also connected to a few other psychological principles that we’ll get onto. We’ll give you a new framework to ENJOY reality checks, remember them without any annoying reminders, and actually get them to SHOW UP in your dreams, 9 out of 10 times. And then finally, we’ll build the most effective techniques, methods and concepts on top of that new, strong foundation. Of course, I’m simplifying this here, but that’s the outline.

Here are some videos that may help.

If you want to know more about it or get the steps to lucid dream you can buy the book or go through a long step to get it for free but the procedure is very long and probably only for Iphone user.

You find some good articles ways to do the 'reverse dopamine' thingy.(I donot trust my research on this topic cuz I got confuse)

You may use Adambja's tape to reprogram your subconscious and this hacking the matrix tape the comments under the video was so good and I found this tape on someone's success story. You can use this two tapes to reprogram your subconscious and of course psych-k.

This is pretty much all you need digital detox,observing your surroundings and subconscious reprogramming to change your belief or assumptions.

And this will make you even more motivated that you are working on your goals as many of us have the access of devices it's hard for us to keep up with all this method and it's not like we are always busy if we are we wouldn't be scrolling through Tumblr and Pinterest all the time. If you read the the copy pasted part you'll see what I mean.

Edit: I forgot to mention it 🥲 if we follow do this we CAN HAVE lucid dream everyday.

Egyptians lucid dreaming tea

This will be quick,so I went to my aunt's place with my mother and my aunt's ran out of tea powder/leaves so she used her daughter's blue lotus tea and after getting home I took a nap and I HAD A FOKING LUCID DREAM,so basically I didn't knew that it was the tea until I was doing some research on LD and found out that in ancient Egypt they use Blue Lotus tea and I found some review about it on YouTube and people had very vivid dreams aswell. This tea basically put you in REM which y'all probably know about.

But I don't like tea😐,so if anyone have interest you can try I honestly want to but my hate for tea is on top on the list of top 5 things I hate,you can find them online people even use Blue Lotus in vape😐not encourageling y'all to smoke but if anyone does you can.

[sleepyhead-poll]

SEMIFINAL ROUND, MATCH 2 OUT OF 2!

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Portgas D. Ace:

he’s got narcolepsy and regularly falls asleep in his food, but given his personality I feel like he’d fall asleep in his lunch even without the narcolepsy

Routinely falls asleep in the middle of meals, still becomes the second division commander of the whitebeard pirates.

he sleeps anytime anywhere

Ace's introduction is the civilians thinking he was dead because he fell asleep so suddenly. Every one piece character has a trait and his is falling asleep while eating.

Ace Propaganda I have a legal obligation as an Ace kin to fight for my man - The narcolepsy thing happens multiple times both in the anime and in the prequel books. - Every time he does that, he wakes up and wipes his mouth on the nearest person’s clothes, save for in the first Ace light novel where Deuce scolded him awake - He also does this on Buggy’s ship and once again they thought he was dead. Why he was there I don’t know. - Also he’s got fire powers so therefore human heater and the coziest of naps

Kirby:

Kirby looove napping and sleeping and is too cute when he is :3

They the littlest guy ever, all that they like to do is eat, play with their friends, and sleep. There’s a copy ability called sleep that literally just makes them tired, and in forgotten land there’s a more powerful sleep ability that give them a little blanket and bed. An eepy little guy.

kirby starts off a lot of his games napping & in forgotten land you can even take a nap with elfilin to restore health and it's ADORABLE. and of course, he has his sleep ability, which just makes him take a nap right after inhaling certain enemies.

He's a ball who likes to eat, sleep, and play with his friends, and just so happens to be a godslaying entity that may or may not be an incarnation of a deity. Also just look at his nap animations in Kirby and the Forgotten Land

kirby has canonically slept through at least one hostile invasion

[kristalldroppar]

Did people like, forget that you have to kill a selkidomus and a stonesleeper (sentient, conscious and feeling species) To make a grimwalker........?

Oh and you also need to acquire a galdorstone, which is a rare, powerful, magical,protected and ancient relic thats.... Guarded for a reason.

It's necromancy and cloning. The show made it hard to do because of its problematic nature and removing that literally takes away a part of why belos doing this is so wrong. (It's not only about him using his brother's corpse, but the importance of a sense of self, these people have to go through. Complex identity issues and probably feelings of being a copy of someone else, which necessarily doesn't need to be the case, but something the show itself, imo is trying to bring up plenty of times)

if it was easy, belos wouldn't go to such lengths to achieve it. He would simply have more grimwalkers than what he already had, (and he had a lot already. When harvesting the ingredients, he literally destroyed eco-systems, eating Palismen and harvesting the trees.)

The galdorstones themselves had to be protected because of their strong magical abilities being used for selfish reasons, and letting them be harvested and used by specific few, would for sure cause societal problems. It is also hinted (not specified) that the ones that exists today are those protected by the graveyard (which is a very old one and created for again, said reason above)

Ethical dilemmas indeed

[dustxechoes]

Little Ziyi rant copied from a discord conversation

I am so annoyed that when people talk about Flatwell they talk about his implied connection with Rusty and his non existent connection to O'Keefe and not his actual textual connection to Ziyi How involved was Flatwell in her upbringing Was AC piloting just a natural talent for her or has he been preparing her for it from a young age How did being a spy impact his ability to meet her emotionally How much else does he keep her in the dark about Is she expected to step up if something happens to him There's so much His spycraft literally gets her killed directly in the first playthrough how does that impact him. fuckin. why does no one but me talk about this am I insane am I not seeing the same video game everyone else is

She has so much going on and is important to so many other characters but somehow manages to dodge everything important to the main plot and from the player's perspective is an optional encounter that takes about fifteen seconds to beat with you only finding out who she is afterward for a quick emotional gut punch also the coolest thing she does is only alluded to in a single line of dialogue that was fucking cut but Arshile, Rokumonsen, Flatwell, Rusty, none of them have dialogue that changes if she's dead or not and I am eating my own organs wondering if they know there is a mission where you fight side-by-side with Flatwell having potentially killed his daughter is he aware you did that does he even know she's dead or is he just so pragmatic he's able to set that aside if it means getting the job done in a later mission you can fight Rokumonsen in an optional encounter who name drops her specifically while the two of you are standing about three hundred yards away from where she died and that dialogue is the same either way do they not know or is it just an oversight This late in the game they'd have to have at least noted her as 'missing'

but they probably wouldn't be able to confirm her death because Arquebus most likely scrapped YUE YU for parts after you left but their man on the inside would not have heard anything about a captured pilot When she fought Raven they were doing a job on the down low for Balam, so while they'd definitely know from Rusty that Raven was the other pilot involved in Operation Wallclimber they wouldn't be aware that they'd returned to the metaphorical scene of the crime or fought Ziyi there unless they'd somehow managed to recover YUE YU The Wall was her post, if she went missing the same day it fell they'd have to at least suspect she went back. So if she never returned I guess the assumption is that she was either captured or killed by Arquebus. But they'd have no way to confirm it either way and Rusty wouldn't have heard anything. Which must be particularly devastating for Flatwell because he was warned about Arquebus' attack on the wall ahead of time and made the calculation that either the additional resources they'd need to commit to holding it weren't worth the cost, or that preserving Rusty's cover was more important, and took Ziyi off duty at the time to keep her out of that fight. Only for her to rush back and, from what they would know, be either captured or killed attempting a counter attack alone all because she wasn't kept in the loop. shit is free real estate why am i the only one that cares about this

[tvb0y]

HI THERR ^^ my name is Austin or Reaper and I have a couple of TMNT Hcs. Some are the Rise version, others are the 2012 version.

First, for both versions, I think the turtles are heavily co-dependent on each other. Like HEAVILY. Let ONE turtle not come back home one night, everyone is freaking the hell out. ESPECIALLY IF IT’S MIKEY.

Another both versions HC, yk that whistle in Black Widow? The turtles have a certain calling system, kind of when teachers clap and you clap back in school. But it’s whistles and chirps. And it’s like silent communication in a way. Also, Master Splinter is definitely usually confused when he hears the whistles and chirps but has decided against saying anything.

Now, for 2012 HCs!

Ralph has major anger issues. Like completely destroying his room, cracking fingers to calm down and accidentally broke one, punching walls in the holes kind of anger issues.

Donnie is somehow the type who has such an unhealthy eating disorder (eating a lot one day and then not eating at all while designing an app another day) and it’s a miracle on how somehow, it hasn’t stamped his fighting abilities.

Leo paces in circles when he’s bored or practicing a new technique with his sword. Perfect circles if he’s anxious about something.

Mikey has an acrobatic fighting style (this goes for Rise and 2012).

Donnie used to have a rubix cube hyperfixation and literally has over 26 rubix cubes in there, 3x3, 2x2, 100x100, you name it. It’s not has much of a bigger hyperfixation now but you can still occasionally catch him fiddling and messing with one just to solve it again.

Ralph gets easily overstimulated with noise, especially if it’s insults and has a tendency to lash out as a defense mechanism when things or people get too loud.

Ralph is an avid smoker and probably an addict.

Mikey has completely mastered all forms of pencil spinning, every trick in the book and Donnie still gets jealous over it.

Ralphael “You didn’t eat again.” and Donatello “And you didn’t sleep again.”

Leo knows such useless but somehow important information? Like while Donnie knows only the important stuff, Leo knows the unconventional stuff. Like he knows how dismember a body but does not know how to cook a body.

Leo likes true crime podcasts and books about detectives.

Ralph and Casey do not argue. They spar. And whoever wins has successfully proved their point in whatever the argument was about and loser has to do what they say to fix whatever they were arguing about.

Have you seen the fights between Natasha Romanoff and The Winter Soldier? That’s usually them.

NOW RISE HCS!

Leo is a pathological liar, and is trying to not lie as much. He also has a tendency to copy trauma responses he sees on the tv shows Splinter puts on to get Splinter’s attention.

Leo would absolutely be a theatre kid.

Ralph likes hot chocolate and only smokes when he’s stressed or angry.

And also refers to his brothers as “his boys”.

Mikey commonly does ballet and is an aerialist. It helps a ton with his fighting style — seeing as both ballet dancers and aerialist have to be A. On point, B. Discipline and able to handle being pushed beyond their physical limits and C. Controlled and deadly.

Again, Donnie has disordered eating. But mostly just consumes drinks instead of actual nutrition and even has forgotten to eat at some points.

Ralphael “You didn’t eat again.” and Donatello “And you didn’t sleep again.” because YES.

Leo is, how could I say this? The brat of the family. Regularly finds loopholes to punishments he gets.

Mikey starts bouncing up and down when he’s excited. Pizza? He’s bouncing. Patrol? He’s bouncing. Movie night? He’s BOUNCING. Ralph, Donnie and Leo essentially have a damn ball for a brother.

Ralph is actually great with kids, especially younger babies. Surprisingly, they don’t seem all that afraid of him. It’s Donnie they’re afraid of.

Ralph still has horrible anger issues, but in a way that his head starts to hurt when he’s angry. In a way that his own anger-filled thoughts terrify him, in a way where he’ll take it out on himself instead of others.

Donnie paces when he’s ranting and paces in perfect circles when he’s figuring something out.

Donnie is the “genius and madness” trope and nope. I don’t wanna hear any criticism.

Donnie does jigsaw puzzles. And has learned Japanese just so he could understand the sub version of anime.

Leo is a writer but NOBODY knows that.

And yeah, that’s about it :p

DUDE THIS IS INSANE /Pos

I love all these Hcs and I especially the overstimulated by noise one with Raph, which I think would apply to ROTTMNT Raph too

TYSM FOR SPENDING YOUR TIME ON THIS AND TELLING ME!!! LIKE SERIOUSLY, THIS IS IMPRESSIVE :0

[homestuckreplay]

The Time Traveler's Can Opener

(page 498-509)

8/18/2009 Wheel Spin: Character Switch Verdict: Oops, All John!

8/19/2009 Wheel Spin: being silly :3c Verdict: CORRECT (Gamer Refrigerator!)

500 pages!! I can't believe how fast these numbers are going up, I'm learning that most webcomics cap at one page a day at most, so feel genuinely lucky to get all this.

I thought John was going to get a Badass Moment where he totally owned those imps in the living room, but he totally biffed it :( but if he'd won against so many enemies so soon, the victory might have felt unearned. I am really noticing the improvement in Rose and John's Sburb abilities - their teamwork in these pages is so good, with John absconding to the study and then Rose sliding the refrigerator into the cranny so the imps can't follow. Rose has great instincts here and is in such a stressful situation herself that I can't help but give her props for her work here.

I do think dropping the safe from so high was overkill, and that destroying John's house is literally the opposite of her job right now. I also think that if the refrigerator gets one more kill it will probably out-level John and therefore take over as both the client player and the main character of our story. So the two of them both have things they still need to work on, but, reading this gives the real sense that they're making progress, and that gives the story a nice momentum.

I also LOVE how the imps, collectively, have a lot of personality. Real video games can often struggle with this, where low level enemies are mindless things to kill that leave no actual impression, but Sburb has really cracked it. The gag where the imps will replace their jester hats with any other hat or hat like object is very entertaining to me, and the fact that they're really invested in the pogo ride for some reason is curious. Most likely they just think it's fun to play with, but I like to imagine that Slimer from Ghostbusters is a god in their society.

I've been thinking recently about what wikipedia terms the 'sad clown paradox,' where comedians have an above average chance of struggling with issues like depression. It's really easy to read John and his prankster's gambit through this lens, but part of me wants to read John's whole house through the lens. From its multiple generations of inhabitants to its decor to its new invasive species, it feels like the essence of the clown is infused throughout this ultimately sad and lonely house.

Under the safe in John's dad's study is a captchalogue card and a note taped to the wall. Inside the safe is another, scuffed up copy of Colonel Sassacre, along with some old papers and an unidentified grey object in the back. I don't know what I expected to be in here, either money or an authentic Joseph Grimaldi jacket, but it seems like the Sassacre book is a really important heirloom that each person in the Egbert family gets to own. I'll probably speculate some more on why Dad wants to save these items specifically once we've seen the papers.

From the antiquated politeness of the new commands, I figured the Wayward Vagabond had read the human etiquette book, but I did not know they'd eaten it. It seems counterproductive to eat information that might be helpful. Unless that's how their species learns and retains things, in which case, great work and it's clearly paying off. Kind of sucks how the author of the etiquette book is British though.

Even now the Vagabond is being polite, it seems really dangerous to have these commands coming to John from an outsider, given how he loses all awareness of his surroundings when he's being commanded like this. But given the logo on the outside, the computer and bunker the Vagabond inhabits were built by someone, for some intended function. So what's the deal? Is the system of giving commands built into Sburb or not? Is there somebody else more competent who is intended to use this command panel, and the Vagabond has stolen their place somehow? Does Sburb really feel like it needs to mind control its players directly? Is the game going to get so difficult and complicated that this is the only way to win? The Vagabond doesn't seem like they have a goal with John beyond obtaining a can opener, but what will happen if whoever's supposed to be using this computer shows up?

[yuliasolsystem]

Behold my craziest theory about the Plants in manga.

Everything below is not my take on the actual canon, but rather just a fun theory I came up with based on some plot holes.

Okay, so listen: people in Trigan didn't just become incapable of obtaining food and energy naturally, without the Plants. They're probably genetically altered in such a way that they are unable to use food and energy that doesn't come from the Plants.

That's why they don't use solar panels on the No Man Land, even though it would seem like an obvious solution. And that's why the townsfolk in Chapter 47 all died out in a few days.

Soldiers speculated that it could have been up to two months after the city was cut off from the world.

But in such a period of time, the Ark would have time to fly over the horizon and it was seen on the fifth day of the soldiers' stay in this area. And the day before, that is on the fourth day, there were still people alive in the town and they still had the strength to make riots.

But on the 7th day, when soldiers reached the town, there was no one alive (except for one man).

"Exposure" in the original was "burns" ( implying sunburns). That is, people not only managed to die of hunger and thirst before the Ark had time to disappear beyond the horizon, but sunburns also were mentioned among the causes of death. So, the Plants not only provided food and water, but also somehow protected against solar radiation, which is probably why there are so few suntanned people on the NML.

This means that the bodies of the humans in Trigan are completely changed and die in a matter of days without a Plant presence anywhere near them and without consuming food containing Plant biomass (since even the cannibals in that town didn't survive). They are literally completely dependent on the Plants, just as the Plants are dependent on the life support terminals they are connected to.

And we also have mutated humans and humans with Plant-like abilities, like Elendira, who can create matter from nothing (her nails literally appear in her suitcase out of nowhere, they are neither stored in it nor teleported from somewhere else by some device)

and Legato, who can manipulate electricity and take control of other people's bodies, which is reminiscent of Knives' ability to control the merged being. When Knives "connected" to Domina with a thin feeler, it looked very similar to Legato's technique.

(It's not impossible, however, that Knives intentionally copied Legato's trick. )

What's my point? You know, there's this trope in horror stories: an alien ship/meteorite falls from the sky and infects the land and living things all around so that people, who lived there, become unable to live outside the ship/meteorite radiation zone or eat normal food. And they, these people, gradually turning into aliens or mutants. So, what if the same thing happens in Trigan, it's just that in this universe humans, unlike in all these movies and stories, didn't avoid the " impact zone", but rather took the alien DNA and spread it all over the Earth. So Trigun humans are no longer 100% humans, but part of the Plants' biosystem, which is why dependent Plants forgave them so easily and don't really mind to be "used".

This could also be related to the presence of ghosts, which can be both human's (like Conrad and Wolfwood) and independent's (like Tessla). The existence of ghosts is not revealed to public, most likely so that people won't find out that after death they will spend eternity in a gloomy black void.

What are independent plants for then? Most likely they are some sort of walking weapons. From the conversations of the Earthlings we can conclude that Knives is not the only aggressive independent (he was just the strongest of the known ones) and that independents on Earth have their abilities blocked for humans' safety ( so most likely all independents have weapons built into their bodies).

What's the need for weapons against humans if the dependent plants don't mind their position and "humans" are in some sense part of them? Maybe to regulate their numbers, or to stimulate their reproduction and further mutation, maybe the Plants need not humans but their souls (ghosts), or maybe independents are something like immune cells that get rid of improperly developing body cells.

[petrock42clone]

Title Defense Four: The Suffering Will Never End

(Inspired by @haterb0y-m0e and @matchamabs posts respectively)

Before we actually get into the boxers I feel it should be said that in TD4 (and possibly even TD3), Little Mac will be given the ability to use Giga Mac because otherwise I think he would die without it. You could still try to fight the other boxers without it, but it would be way more difficult without it.

Glass Joe: It would probably be a sin if he didn't put shards of glass in his gloves. He literally has the word "glass" in his name and none of us thought to incorporate it into his moveset?

Von Kaiser: He shaves his head bald and brings his students into the ring. Also, both him and his students have done crack before the match began. Please don't tell their parents-

Disco Kid: Idk, he becomes a DJ and throws records at you during the match. Also he wears scene kid clothing from the early 2000s. Yes he will wear a Gir hoodie. Next question.

King Hippo: Along with wearing all the armor from his previous Title Defenses, he also eats during the match to regain health. The amount of health he gets back depends on what food he eats.

Piston Hondo: Let's just cut all the bullshit and give him a Death Note. He also dresses like Alucard from Hellsing Ultimate which totally won't foreshadow anything.

Bear Hugger: He sends the whole bear family from Berenstein Bears after you.

Great Tiger: He wouldn't do much, he would just distract you with a cup and ball trick mid match (bumbles mcfumbles reference).

Don Flamenco: At random points, his now wife Carmen gets into the ring to beat your ass. You can't fight back however for the same reason peach isn't in the game so you're only able to dodge.

Aran Ryan: He pretends not to cheat but after you knock him down a third time he brings back all the broken rules.

Soda Popinski: His blood has just been replaced with soda.

Bald Bull: He went to anger management classes and they were so effective they distract you with how scary he is when he isn't pissed.

Super Macho Man: Not only has he become broke (probably because he fell for a crypto scam /j) he also uses the ref as a weapon.

Mr.Sandman: Either just turns into Sans or he just tries to distract you by reading you a bedtime story.

BONUS BATTLE:

The Referee: Turns out you can't just turn someone into a weapon and then not expect them to have a screw go loose in their head afterwards. He actually used to be a damn good champion in his prime, but after being dethroned by Doc he forgot until your TD4 match with Macho. He copies all the broken rules of every boxer before him in 13 phases, and there are more than 3 rounds in this fight in order to accommodate this.

[chronicmusicnerd]

On billionaires and why they shouldn’t exist

I don’t think anyone that earns a normal wage who supports the ability to earn 1,000,000,000 dollars (yes, there’s 9 zeros) truly gets how much one billion of anything is. One million, sure. Ten million, yep! One hundred million, maaaybe… but one billion???

To put it into perspective, if we traveled back in time by one million seconds, we’d travel about 11 or 12 days into the past, so about a week and a half ago. If we traveled back in time by one billion seconds, it would be 1993.

So now we know, one billion is a lot. But one still asks, “Why shouldn’t you have a billion dollars? Why is that level of wealth inherently bad or wrong?” First, I’m so glad you asked! Second, when there are people living paycheque to paycheque, when there are people living in tents who can’t afford to feed only themselves, let alone any kids or pets, why should someone who could afford 76, 923, 077 copies of The Catcher in the Rye have that kind of wealth?

Is life fair? No. But could it be fair enough that there aren’t people who could drop 100k on a Rolex and not see a dent in their bank account and people who can barely afford a new shirt living side by side when one could easily help the other? YES!! It could be!! There is no truly ethical way to earn a billion dollars.

From musicians selling dozens of variants of the same album or CD to keep their charts up and fill their pockets, to entrepreneurs cutting costs on literal vehicles, to apps charging for verification, to business owners underpaying their workers, one cannot earn such a sum of wealth and be able to truthfully say, “I really earned this in my own right, and no one has been hurt by my rise to luxury.”

Yes, the world of business is competitive. Yes, it’s eat or be eaten. But it doesn’t have to be. Capitalism will kill us all, with the rich being cryogenically frozen to be awoken in the far future, and the rest of us dying as either drones or deviants in the system.

When you can pay your way out of accountability or shame, the rules just cease to apply. When you can’t, the rich crack down on you like the gum stuck to their shoe, no matter if you committed arson or if you just looked “too mangy” too near to them.

News flash to the rich, charitably is an option and basic kindness is free… but when you have a Rolls Royce you can afford to give something to the less fortunate.