#literally at this point lets all just start using omegle…. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shotorozu · 4 years ago

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hellolololo!¡! so i recently saw this video where their

s/o goes on to omegle and the other person from omegle like goes “hi ur cute” or “u have snap?” and then their boyfriend just enters the frame,, can u do that to todobakudeku separately :3

if u dont understand u can check this out 😭 https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSJdEqc7V/ tyy ❤️❤️

“ur kinda cute” on omegle

(tiktok prank)

character(s) : todoroki shouto, bakugou katsuki, midoriya izuku (bnha)

part two — part three

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : fluff, crack — ‘x reader’

note(s) : i love these types of requests 🤩 so i plan on making 3 parts with this (oh and don’t worry, i’ll finish the other tiktok prank series i have going on at the moment)

also, there’s no proofread on this so if there’s any typos or mistakes, sorry! i’ll be editing them in the morning

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

todoroki shouto

okay so, the entire tiktok idea was planned— but the part where shouto came in surely wasn’t staged

so, being a curious young person— you wanted to make a tiktok, where you went on omegle just to speak to people for fun

and inside of your head, you’re kinda thinking that “this is dumb, omg im going to get flashed on there.” also while you were setting up your laptop

but you just used the appropriate tags and !! you were set off for an adventure

you set your phone aside, and you filmed most of the experience— cutting out the not so interesting encounters out of your tiktok

and then came on a dude, who had a,, unique reaction. he didn’t seem all that fishy— until he asked you for your snap (your social medias, essentially)

“you’re kinda cute, y’know. how did i not see you before?”

you shake your head, “oh no no! i appreciate your compliment, but i’m very much taken!” your mind immediately flashing back to the image of your icyhot boyfriend

“nahh you’re lying! i don’t see any dude back there”

oh,, and that was because shouto was out getting snacks 🧎 “no really dude, i appreciate it! i’m very much taken and being disloyal is out of the question!”

this dude just kept insisting and insisting, and due to the struggle— you weren’t able to hear the door knob jiggle

it seemed to be that his advances came to an end, and your lover made an entrance— a mop of red and white peaked out from the door frame

and the dude literally got scared and ended the conversation 💀 because you really weren’t lying!

you also figured that it was time to end your omegle shenanigans, and finish the tiktok— because your boyfriend was already there “hi love, who were you talking to?”

you closed your laptop, and offered him a smile “i was on omegle for a tiktok! i’m glad you’re back.” you discard your phone, wrapping your arms around his torso (and also making sure you don’t delete the draft)

shouto doesn’t say a lot, but he immediately accepts your touch, setting the groceries aside.

he doesn’t question the fact that you were on omegle because well,, he had to get used to your shenanigans on tiktok SOMEHOW

a few hours later, you posted the tiktok— and almost immediately, the tiktok gains a lot of attention

“i love how your boyfriend drove the last dude away 💀💀” “man the last dude didn’t take the hint 🗿” “your boyfriend indirectly protected you! we need more guys like him.”

you snicker at the comments, which ultimately gathered shouto’s attention “what’s up, love?”

you show him the tiktok, “the tiktok did well.” he’ll comment calmly, but shouto’s lowkey MAD ?? that a dude had the audacity. but he’s just glad that you’re happy just maybe,, don’t go on omegle anymore 💀

“love— next time, let me in on your tiktoks.” he says, running a thumb along your cheek lightly. because he was actually quite entertained, putting everything aside

bakugou katsuki

as if bakugou katsuki would let you go on OMEGLE, a place that’s known for having the sketchiest people to ever exist— but make it virtual

but being with you made him realize that well,, if you want to do something, you’ll go through lengths just to do it.

even the great bakugou katsuki can’t really stop you. whatever makes you happy— but oh, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t highly discourage it

which lead you to go on omegle for a tiktok in the other room, while bakugou exercised in the very next room.

when you told him that you wanted to film a tiktok, bakugou only shrugged— “don’t do overly dumb shit.” was what he only told you and he left the door open too

you then set up your phone and laptop, applied the appropriate tags— and went off to make your tiktok

you only filmed the interesting encounters, and the people you met on there were very diverse in personality and just,, in general.

after the 4th encounter, then came a rather interesting dude. he didn’t seem all that ordinary but he wasn’t spectacular. he was just nice

and the conversation was rather normal— until he started asking for your socials “putting everything aside, do you have social media? you’re really cute.”

you reject immediately, “oh no, i appreciate your words but— i already have a boyfriend.”

you just have to hope that he noticed bakugou walking back and forth with equipment, but with his next words— that doesn’t seem to be the case

“i didn’t see anyone back there, a simple no would’ve been sufficient instead.” uh oh

“no really, i—” and before things escalated, katsuki’s head peaked through the door frame, freshly out of the shower “are you almost done, idiot?”

the dude literally looked behind you, and thought “oh shit, their boyfriend is bakugou fucking katsuki.” because bakugou is famous for,, multiple different reasons

the dude’s camera shakes in terror, “oh uhm,, it was nice meeting you!” not long before he dips from of the conversation, never to be seen again.

closing your laptop— you end the tiktok while bursting into laughter, and this action just confused katsuki ever further. he heard you speaking to someone, and when he looked, the person was nowhere to be seen

“what are you laughing at??”

“nothing katsuki, i was laughing at the tiktok i just made.”

then— you figured that it would be best to tell katsuki now that you were on omegle (long story short, he wasn’t pleased)

he scolded you that you shouldn’t be on omegle, but let’s be honest, he couldn’t stay mad at you— so he just cuddles the frustration away

when you upload the tiktok the following hours, it blows up pretty quickly—with comments like “LOL IS THAT BAKUGOU KATSUKI??” “he had guts until he saw bakugou katsuki 💀” “tbh i’d be scared too”

and when you report the news the katsuki, he smirks— “as he should be.”

midoriya izuku

at this point, izuku is very much used to your shenanigans on tiktok. he’s very supportive of whatever you do all in all

but, about omegle,,, yeah,, as much as he trusts you— he does not trust omegle. he’s aware that it’s a shady place, and he doesn’t advise that you do go on that website bc he cares

so when you brought up the tiktok idea, he proposed that he’d be there, right beside you just to monitor if anyone’s being weird :)

and that’s great! because you also wanted to ask if he wanted to be a reoccuring guest in your tiktok— and of course, what kind of boyfriend would he be if he opposed?

he helps you set up your laptop and phone— all of that sort of stuff, and then you guys were off to make an interesting tiktok

oh, but izuku did apply the appropriate tags because he didn’t want you to see odd things he was secretly nervous but,, you were very ethusiastic, so he was too.

the first several people were interesting in their own way— especially with their reactions to your boyfriend appearing on screen

usually, they’d back off with, and comment on how cute your boyfriend is— wishing the both of you well before calmly leaving to meet new people,

that was how it was, until you met this person in particular.

he sounded very,, egotistical— i wouldn’t say that because you’ve just met the dude, but he acted like everyone wanted him or it sounded like that

then he says, “you definitely have a phone number, right? you’re cute, just my type.” wkdksmd this is awkward since izuku’s right beside you, but he’s just outside of the frame

then, izuku pops out of the frame— in all his cute ass glory, he gives a small wave to the not so pleased stranger

“please, that’s your boyfriend?” he scoffs, “with those arms, he looks like he could be your little brother! now let me ask again—”

it’s really weird?? because have you seen izuku’s gainz?? and this dude’s audacity is extraordinary.

but little did this guy know, he’s looking at midoriya izuku— and,, you’ve seen his performance in the sports festival.

the dude takes another glance at your boyfriend, who’s sitting there right beside you— and he realizes who he was talking to

“oh shit, you’re—” and before the both of you could realize it, he nopes out of the conversation.

after that encounter, you burst into a fit of laughter— the look on izuku’s face being priceless. “you should’ve seen your reaction!”

“haha, i guess he knew who i was,” he says bashfully, cheeks warming up. because it registered in his mind that people actually knew who he was. “can you,, upload the tiktok later? i want to hug you— i mean! if that’s fine.”

of course it’s fine! you oblige, and give him all the hugs he could ever need

after cuddling with izuku, you do upload the tiktok— and an hour later, your tiktok notifications blow up

the tiktok all in all gathered 1M views, 780K likes, and over 1,500 comments— most of them saying stuff like

“your boyfriend’s reaction was so cute?? i know he looked like he was going to punch him through the screen but 👀” “last dude was just not it.” “LMAO HE REALLY TRIED IT” “is your boyfriend IZUKU MIDORIYA??”

when you excitingly showed him the tiktok’s results, he was certainly pleased— because most of the comments were positive, and also because the tiktok’s results made you happy

“i’m glad that it did well!” he’ll sigh in relief, pressing a kiss against your temple, let’s just not go on there ever again

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

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do-not-eat-the-dove · 4 years ago

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I need to write this, I need to write this because I am so fucking angry. I am so, so fucking angry, and every problematic shipper I want you to read this. Read it, all the way through, because if you don’t then you are ignoring children you might have harmed.

Tw’s for: beastiality mention, sexual abuse mention, paedophilia mention, typical darkfic trigger warnings in essential

When I was nine, I moved into the Aphmau fandom. Earlier than that, I was an avid reader of Harry potter. Earlier than that, I was into stampy cat and iballisticsquid and skydoesminecraft. I have been in fandoms earlier than my body can remember, and I started in on wattpad when I was very, very young. Just writing, only writing. I had a vague understanding of what sex and smut was as a child, because of unmoderated youtube thumbnails. I ran into sexual themes online, because that is what a child does okay? I will admit that I knew about sex as a child if only barely.

As a kid in fandom, you don't know how to moderate things. As a literal fucking elementary schooler who doesn’t know how to differentiate “Their” “They’re” and “There”, you do not know the difference between right and wrong. You do not understand what an 18+ warning is, and you don’t know what the fuck a dead dove is and why anyone would want to eat it in the first place. You do not understand, and i think that this is something that problematic content creators expect of literal fucking children, and i also think that it is extremely irrational and condescending for you to do so.

When I was a bit older, maybe twelve/thirteen, I found ao3. I found twitter, tumblr, bnha and anime. I was excited because it was a community, so I became super involved as fast as I could. I had still not hit puberty yet. I hadn’t even learned the pythagorean theorem yet. I didn’t entirely understand variables and I had no clue that washing your face was basic hygiene. I am bringing this up to display to you that I. WAS. A. CHILD. A kid. Five years ago at this point I still had trouble jump-roping. I was a kid who had average decision-making skills for their age and who found the idea of boys gross, crushes were based on who was fastest in gym class.

I let go of tumblr because I couldn’t grasp what on earth it was supposed to be used for and how it was supposed to be used, I posted shitty depressed memes on reddit because I thought I was edgy. And then I got involved in fandom twitter.

Me, my friends, we recommended each other cute ship threads and discussed Notps and did “toxic fandom stuff” because we were children who still celebrated valentines day with sweet-tarts and holographic paper cards. I still knew jack shit about sex and relationships because as a child sex education is just “this is a penis, this is a vagina, this is how you don’t get pregnant, any questions?”

So when one day, i decide to type “BNHA” into the search bar of twitter, intent on finding cute things to share with my online friends and instead am greeted with a picture of a character raping another character, I don’t know exactly what to do.

Let me repeat that; I looked up JUST the word “BNHA”. Just that. Nothing else.

And I, a child, who has no decision making skills, clicks on the post. Because it makes me feel funny, and children are curious.

As a middle schooler. As a child who had the average physical and mental capacity to resist impulse, aka none, as someone who used Uwu and OwO unironically, who thought spelling “as” with a Z made me quirky and fun, discovered a main-tagged post of a character being nsfwed in a sexual assault.

From here, I explored. What you people don’t get is that is what children do. That is what children DO. And you, in all your wonderful wise ways, decide that it is on ME. On someone who had no understanding of what this was, to be the adult and say “I do not think this is right.” You, the thirty year old woman who maintags, are saying that to me, who was a twelve year old.

I think the most traumatic thing I read during that time was an aged-down character, who went from fifteen to five, being sexually abused and pimped out by his mother and forced to have sexual contact with dogs.

Today, I suffer from intense intrusive thoughts that I do not think I need to be diagnosed for, because constantly wondering if you’re going to be sexually assaulted by every single man you come in contact with, having to shoo away evil disgusting thoughts that have made you involuntarily gag and nearly vomit, having to deal with these awful things in my brain is proof enough. Today, I have such a deep-rooted fear of sex and men and relationships that despite me being entirely Heterosexual, wanting children in the future, having these ideas of a family, I feel incapable.

Today, I saw a fic saying that it was my own fault if I found their problematic fic, and today I raged for every child that is going to be messed up by people who choose to blameshift just because they want to use maintags.

As fandom spaces get younger, and the fan age range grows bigger I have noticed a distinct uptick in who is reading and consuming fan content on social media. I know eleven year olds, ten year olds, I have met a nine year old child who messaged like they were twenty. All of these children read fanfiction of characters that they adore, and click on fics that include those characters because they adore them.

I’m going to share another experience that I’ve had with sex and sexual abuse that was self-inflicted, but normalized by the content that I had consumed. As a child, a thirteen year old, I messaged adult men. I went on omegle text chat, I found forums for sexual roleplay, I talked to probably a dozen adults in sexual manners without them knowing or realizing. Even a few women, and I am completely certain this experience is going to scar me until the day that I fucking pass. It makes me feel empty inside, but you know what? Your fics normalized that for me. I read a tweet from an adult, someone much older than me, who talked about having gone into adult spaces as a child. They did the same thing as me. It is a trend, but while I recognize that I was too young to know what I was seeing, reading, hearing from people who were older than me and therefore authority figures, they blamed themself. And that is the most heartbreaking fucking thing.

When you maintag. When you use a main tag, that a child who does not know how to filter out scrolls down on, and they decide that this will be an okay thing for them to consume because adults know better, will you look them in the eyes and tell them the fear of things they don’t understand and haven’t even been introduced to yet is their fault? Will you tell them that ao3 is an adult site for adults and it’s their fault for being stupid enough to read it? Will you tell them that the images that will play in their minds for years until they’re desensitized and so so scared that they’re now a bad person because of it, will you tell them that it was their fault for clicking on it when they were seven, eight, nine?

Frankly, I do not give a shit about what you write. If it is in rpf and you still push it i will think you are a bad person, but other than that I could never care less. But I do care what you tag, because If you write the word bnha on twitter with an image of a young child's favorite character being sexually brutalised? If you maintag a fic where someone is starved till they are nearly dead, infantilised, sexually abused during all of it, and leave it out in the open on a site you know has children, in a fandom you know is targeted towards kids. If your tags leave a child open for attack, harm, mental scarring? I care, because I will not let another child be blamed for something they themselves did not fully understand the weight of.

#fandom #anti anti #problematic authors #problematic shipping #ao3 #archive of our own #tw #tumblr #fanfic #fandom space #I have never talked about these experiences with anyone but if there is a time to talk about it it is now.

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gemmassong · 3 years ago

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So uh. It’s 4:17am and I know literally no one cares but I just finished watching Bo Burnham’s new special and like, holy shit. I have some Feelings. And this is my fucking tumblr so unfortunately anyone who follows me can and will be subjected to those Feelings. Apologies in advance. I blame my high school English teacher for this, who I had for freshmen, junior, and senior year, because that cunt made as analyze and pick apart not just books but documentaries, movies, and other pieces of media to such an extreme degree I still blame her for a lot of my academic burnout and inability to really engage with my college courses because what was the fucking point. If I could write the best paper in the class and still not get a full score when my classmates with less well written shit did because I ‘wasn’t reaching my full potential or putting in as much effort as required’ why should I bother.

Off topic. I’ll put the rest under a cut to be vaguely courteous because this is going to be a lot of semi-organized rambling that I’m putting here mostly so I can stare at it in baffled, disgusted horror at ~2pm tomorrow when I go back and reread it. And then decide not to delete it anyway because hey, I don’t delete anything because I enjoy tormenting myself years down the road.

I grew up with Bo Burnham, yeah? I knew all the lyrics to New Math when I was in middle school and you can bet your ass I understood like, four verses at the time I first started singing it. And I remember the vivid pleasure of going through high school and hating math because I suck at it (ayooo failed out of Calc senior year first semester~ (they weren’t called semesters in hs they were some quarterly thing but I don’t fucking remember the right term)) and the absolute joy realizing how one of those verses were clever was brought me. Like, every time I understood a new verse in New Math it made my entire day so much better.

And then the summer after my first year of college I, for some fucking reason I cannot fathom now, 20 year old me thought it was a brilliant idea to decide to watch What. with my parents while we ate dinner. I had seen What. before. I knew what the contents entailed. I was apparently 100% down to watch him pretend to jack off on stage while eating taco salad in the living room with both of my parents who were so closed mouthed about sex that I got literally my entire sexual education from fanfiction.

And then my cat had a seizure literally right before that scene so fate helped me escape that hell for some reason, and yes, Siren was fine after a very scary night.

But like. Still. What the fuck, 20 year old me. Why did you set yourself up for the mortifying experience of watching a comedian mime jacking off while sitting next to your mother. Why.

So anyway. Bo Burnham was peripherally a part of my life for a very long time. I’ve always really liked him. I wish he had made more vines while vine was still a thing because the ‘is there anything better than pussy’ one still cracks me tf up.

I saw a post here at some point about how the new special made someone feel like they’d just watched his suicide note. And I didn’t take it seriously, because yeah, Make Happy got kinda serious and stressful there at the end but like?

Maaaaan am I glad I watched Inside though, despite being vaguely concerned. I totally get where that person was coming from. It does kinda feel like that. At the same time though, I just have this feeling that Inside is going to be important.

Here’s where I finally get to the actual fucking point of the post.

Collectively, entertainment media is desperately trying right now to figure out how the hell to handle the pandemic. Ignore it? Pretend all media now exists in a universe where the shitstorm of 2020 didn’t exist? Most of the ones that I’ve seen have gone down what I consider the absolute worst route, which is of course terrible fucking writing that kind of? addresses the pandemic and shit that went down, but like, with clunky dialogue and really bad jokes. I’m mostly talking about the Roseanne spinoff/sequel/whatever the fuck it’s considered, of which I watched half an episode of and then silently begged my fiance to let us leave his mother’s house because she was laughing at it and it was genuinely, horrifically painful. This is why I don’t watch tv anymore.

ANYWAY. He never mentions it. Not once. There are plenty of really relevant things discussed and pointed out and I think one? mention of the actual year 2020 but beyond that. Nothing. And I feel like Inside might be one of the most genuine, visceral, real pieces of media portraying the pandemic that we, as an American society anyway, are going to come away from this all with. At least everyone in my own admittedly piss poor social circles has spent like last ~year and a half doing that social media thing where the more you post about how well you’re doing and great it all is, the more miserable and bad off you really are.

(Yes, that is how I judge my ‘friends’’ relationships on facebook. The more pictures/posts/tagged shit/social media demonstrations of how ~amazing~ and ~in love~ and ~perfect~ everything is, the worse I assume the reality is.)

But Inside strikes as very, very real. And I just feel like 20 30 40 50 years from now, when we’re talking about the 2020 pandemic and how it shaped and shifted and effected and destroyed people and society, it’s going to be a very important piece of media. Because so far, anyway, it’s the first one I’ve seen where you can actually see it all go down. The absolute fucking breakdown so many of us went through. Dealing with worsening mental problems that had previously been getting better, lost progress, ruined plans and dreams and missed opportunities and everything else.

It’s the first one that strikes as real, I guess. As not manufactured. Not tailored to portray the ‘correct’ message. Not diminishing or exaggerating anything but just... showing. Existing within the reality of the year. And not being apologetic or ashamed about it.

I’m glad he actually went through with putting it out into the world. That probably took a whole lot to do, and I hope good things get to him for going through with it all. For completing it and giving it to the world. It was visceral and raw to watch and my piss poor attention span that needs 20+ tabs open at all times actually sat there and watched it, in full, all the way through in one go. Without pausing to read a fic, watch something else, check facebook or tumblr, answer a roleplay, or skim through omegle to see if anyone good was online. That’s like, unheard of these days.

I just. I dunno. There’s a lot there to breakdown. A part of me wants to do it, take the time and write the analysis and the breakdowns and pick out what I think the important bits are. But I hate doing that now and I’m sure the desire will be gone come afternoon-morning, along with all these weird feelings about it.

This has gotten long enough and it’s 4:47 now, so half an hour of word vomiting into a tumblr post is probably too much. So I guess I’ll call it quits and maybe maybe not delete this when I wake up. Night, anyone who actually suffered through reading this mess.

#Maddie talks #Weird thoughts mostly #Don't expect anyone to actually read but hey #that's not what this blog is there for so why not word vomit just for my future self

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getdeatjgrops · 4 years ago

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internet boy.

shigaraki x reader one-shot

Summary: You are on a popular video chat website late at night. After many disconnects, you come across a dusty-blue haired boy. You wait for him to say “show your tits” to skip him, but strangely enough he didn’t say anything. To this, you become intrigued, and stay to chat with him.

Warnings: swearing, slight yandere tendencies.

Pairing: Tomura Shigaraki x Reader

Word Count: 4680

You yawn. You check the time on the corner of your laptops’ screen. 2 AM. Why weren’t you sleeping? Well, you were on Omegle for almost two hours, and you didn’t realize how fast the time flew by. You were bored and couldn’t sleep, so you chose to talk to strangers online who were also up late at night. Maybe you were the strange one.

You haven��t gone on Omegle for a long time, so you forgot about all the dick showing and the dudes asking to either show your tits or your ass. If you didn’t comply they’d call you a bitch and disconnect. Sometimes if you got lucky, you connected with someone sweet and you’d chat a bit until they needed to go. At least there were still some people who just wanted to talk.

You sighed as you disconnected from another penis on your screen.

If I see another dick one more time, I’m getting off.

You tapped your fingers on your laptop, waiting for someone to connect.

And someone did. It was an odd looking guy. He had shaggy light blue hair and deep, red eyes that you could hardly see. He had a tightened black hoodie, so you couldn’t see his full face; only his eyes and nose. He was leaning against a white wall behind him, and his camera only showed his torso and up. The only light was from his own screen, illuminating his face.

You furrowed a brow. He didn’t say anything, so you started typing.

You: hey

You notice his eyes move to the chat, and down to his keyboard. He started typing, and you heard the sound of the keyboard clicking. So he did have a microphone.

Stranger: what’s your name

You: (Y/N). what’s urs?

At this point, you expected him to ask something vulgar, so you hovered your mouse over the “Really?” button to disconnect if he did. But shockingly enough, didn’t.

Stranger: uh. you can call me Tom.

You smiled a bit. You found the name “Tom” funny considering the fact that maybe he was using a fake name, and to add onto your suspicion he added an “uh” in the beginning.

You: cool. i hear that u have a mic. do u wanna talk? i’m too tired to type lol

You: or do u have to be quiet because of your parents loll

You watch him read the chat, and hear a “tch” noise come out of his mouth before he aggressively starts typing.

Stranger: i can talk. but you aren’t talking, so i’m not talking. wouldn’t it be weird if i was the only one talking? weirdo.

You huff and roll your eyes. “The whole point of me asking if you want to talk is so we could talk instead of texting each other. Watch who you call a weirdo, weirdo.” You retorted. He furrowed his brows and rolled his eyes back.

“Whatever. Anyways, what time is it for you?” He asked. You noticed his voice was slightly gravelly. You squint your eyes. “Aren’t you a curious one. With the blunt questions and everything. It’s 2 at night here. You?” You smile slightly. “It’s 2 am here too. Why are you up so late?” He plays with the strings attached to his hoodie.

You sigh. “Dunno. I’m tired but can’t sleep. Why are you up so late?” You ask back. He makes his hand through his hair and hoodie and scratches his neck. “Well, I’ve been thinking about stuff, so I can’t sleep either.” You hum in response, and there’s a minute of silence between you two.

“Well, what’s on your mind then?” You ask, trying to break the awkward tension.

He grumbles. “It’s nothing. Just have a few people that I don’t like on my mind. No, hate. Deeply hate. They are terrible.” He growls, and continues scratching his neck. You frown and look at him. “Hey, don’t worry about them okay? Don’t let bullies effect you and how you feel. They’re dumb.” You comforted. You felt a bit weird comforting a person you just met online about bullies, but you really did feel sympathy for him. He probably has a hard time with them.

He looks away and nods slowly. “Yeah.. bullies..” He stops scratching his neck and puts his hand down. He looks back at the camera. “Do you have anything we can talk on?”

You giggle. “We’re talking on something already, idiot.” To that, he just looks at the screen with an annoyed look. “I’m just playing. Here’s my instagram. Or, if you prefer-“

“Instagram is fine.” He cuts you off, seconds after pulling out his phone and searching up the username you put in the chat. You pressed your lips together, and pull out your phone yourself.

tomxrxow.s has requested to follow you!

“So, Tom.. your name is an abbreviation of Tomorrow?” You ask, quietly chuckling as you accept the follow request. “Uh, sure.” He mumbled. You requested to follow him back, and in an instant he accepted. You notice he has no posts and the only people he follows is a few pro heroes and you. He only has about 20 followers too. You found it slightly uncomfortable, considering that you had a few posts of you and a couple hundred followers. You look back at the screen and see him holding his phone up and moving it to look at you.

“Hm, you’re kind of weird looking right now compared to your posts.” He shows one of your posts of you in a restaurant. You looked pretty in that photo, until you realized that he insulted you. You gasped and furrowed your brows. “Hey!” You pouted. He smirked and put his phone down. “I’m just ‘playing.’” He says, quoting you from earlier. You squint your eyes and scoff, but silently smile to yourself. You like this guy.

“Well, you got my instagram, so we could chat more. I’m feeling kind of tired, so I’ll text you tomorrow morning okay?” You smile. He sighs through his nose. “Alright, good night.” He puts up a backwards peace sign. “Don’t let the villains bite.” You roll your eyes, and to that, you disconnect and shut your laptop.

What a strange guy.

You lay down and close your eyes, and soon enough you drift to sleep.

—

You stir your cereal, waiting for Tom to finish typing.

You and him have gotten close the past 3 weeks. He was quite nice to talk to. He talked about his problems, and you talk about yours. I think it’s safe to say that you guys were great friends, and were there for each other. Not in real life, but through each other’s screen. And you were okay with that.

txmxrxow.s: i haven’t got much sleep last night.

You: ahh well you should go to sleep earlier today!

You smile to yourself. You and Tom stood up late at night talking. Sometimes you guys would call, sometimes you guys chose to just text. In the beginning of your friendship with him, you guys first went from talking for an hour, to a few hours, to the whole night. You found him interesting. The way he talked, what he talked about.. he was just nice to talk to.

txmxrxow.s: but i want to talk to youu :’(

Your heart fluttered as you read his text message. You smile goofily.

You: and i want to talk to you too! but if you don’t go to sleep early then you might just fall asleep while we’re talking, and i’ll get worried that you’re not responding. how about this, we can talk all day today and you can go to sleep tonight so we could talk tomorrow. deal?

You sigh happily. You haven’t had someone to talk to this much in a long time. The world is in a middle of a pandemic; it’s not like you can go out and hang out with your friends when everyone is in quarantine. You walk to your living room with the bowl of cereal in your hand and put it on the coffee table. You sit down on your couch, and turn on the TV. You put a spoonful of cereal in your mouth and lean back to watch what the news is for today.

“Breaking news. The League of Villains attacked the city unexpectedly last night! Heroes came late due to the fact that it was at 4 am. But thankfully, we can never not trust our strong heroes! They were close to defeat, but they struck back with all their might, leaving the villains running away! Thank you for your service Pro-Heroes, for keeping us and the city safe!”

The T.V showed footage from a helicopter above of the villains running away into a dark alley. They all disappear as they enter a purple portal one of the villains created. The camera then showed the pro heroes panting in exhaustion, walking away from the scene like it was nothing. You couldn’t blame them, it was late at night- they were tired. They weren’t willing to have an interview this late.

txmxrxow.s: Did you see the news? Smh. Pro heroes this, pro heroes that. It’s getting tiring.

You take another bite of cereal and pick up your phone to reply.

You: Yeah, but at least they keep us safe. And on that note, im glad you’re safe, but I mean we were literally up at that time just texting each other lmaooo

txmxrxow.s: haha, yeah :)

You pick up the remote control and switch the channel to something else. You were getting tired of hearing about villains and heroes all the time too.

You: anyways, i’m bored. wanna call?

txmxrxow.s: sure

You: i mean like, video call? we haven’t video called since omegle lolol

txmxrxow.s: hmm.. nah.

You frown. Didn’t he just say sure a few seconds ago?

txmxrxow.s: but i miss your cute little face. so, get on discord.

You blush and furrow your brows. Who does this guy think he is?! You huff, and pull out your laptop and open discord. Seconds after, you receive a call from Tom and accept it.

“Hello. Guess you couldn’t resist my cute ass face.” You teased. He chuckles in response, and turned on his camera. Again, he’s wearing a black tightened hoodie, so you could only see his eyes and nose, along with his messy light blue hair. “I really couldn’t.” He responded flatly. You blush and roll your eyes. “Shut up.” You grin.

You and him talked about random things. You would occasionally take a bite of your cereal, and he would snap a photo before you eat the spoonful of Froot Loops. “Hey!! Delete that!” You pleaded, covering your mouth full of milk and cereal with your hand. He laughed in response, showing his phones’ screen to the camera, which was the photo of you about to put the spoon in your mouth. You swallowed the food in your mouth and crossed your arms. “Not funny! I’m turning off my camera.” You huffed, and turned off the camera.

“Nooo! Come back!” He pleaded, exaggerating the “No.” You laughed, and turned on your camera just as fast as you turned it off. Needless to say, you enjoyed talking to Tom.

—

You and Tom were on call for the past five hours. You didn’t get bored of his company, and although your laptop was heating up, you wanted to stay.

“Hm.. say,” He started. You hummed back. “What’s up?” You didn’t lift your eyes from your phone. You were scrolling through your instagram feed and occasionally were sending Tom funny cat photos and videos.

“Do you want to meet up?” Your heart skipped a beat. You looked at your laptops’ screen with wide eyes. “Now?” You ask. He shrugged, twirling his hoodie string between his finger. “Sure. Or, if you want we could meet up later this week. Or later tonight, so there isn’t much people, especially with the whole virus thing going on.” You nod.

Should you go today? Later tonight? I mean, he seems pretty real to you. And you really liked talking to him. You liked him in general.

“I um, have to talk to you about something too.” He said, slightly choking on his words. Your heart rushes. You look at the time on your phone. 3 pm. Wow, time flew by fast.

“Sure. Let’s meet up at 10 pm.” You smile. He sighed in relief. “Okay, cool. I’m.. excited to see you.” He blushed. Your heart continued pounding against your chest and you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’m excited too.” You guys sat in silence, scrolling through your phones. You gulped, feeling uncomfortable.

God, why is everything so much more awkward now?! It’s fine. You’ll meet each other, and talk. It’ll be your first time seeing each other in real life, and it’ll be fine.

You turn to your laptop screen. “Well, my laptop is heating up really badly, so I’m gonna go. We can still text if you want.” You put your index finger on the trackpad, hovering it over the hang up button. “Alright, see you soon.” He puts his phone down and waves. You smile and make a silly face before hanging up. You needed to get ready, even though it was only 3 pm.

— *Time skip to 10 pm*

You didn’t want to appear to extra and flashy on the first time meeting, so you went with an oversized (F/C) sweatshirt and jeans. You let your hair down, and put on mascara. Your heart was beating loudly. You were excited, but nervous. What did he want to talk about? You had an idea, but you dismissed it.

You heard a notification go off and checked your phone.

txmxrxow.s: let’s meet over here.

After he sent that text, he sent a photo of a building that you passed by occasionally.

You: okay. see you soon! ^^

You smile to yourself. You breathe in and out to calm yourself. You turn off the lights and put your phone in your pocket. You grab a mask and put in on your face, and put on latex gloves. You shut the door behind you and start walking towards the direction of the building. You decided to listen to music to calm yourself.

What a weird coincidence that you met a person on Omegle that lived in the same country as you. Matter of fact, in the same city as you. You couldn’t believe it. And you fell in love with him? Truly strange. But, you don’t hate it. You smile happily. You realize that you shouldn’t be nervous. You guys have been talking for three weeks. He was comfortable with you, and you were comfortable with him. You guys were friends.

You hummed to the song that was currently on, and you noticed that you were close to the place you guys were meeting up at. You just had to cross this street and you’ll be there. You patted your hands on your jeans, realizing how sweaty they got from you being anxious. The street sign turned to a walking figure, and you slowly crossed.

You took out the earphones in your ears, and put them in your jean pocket. You squeeze your hands into fists as you see a figure a few yards away from you wearing a black hoodie. He was facing the other way, but you noticed that they were on their phone. You decided to walked up to them. This was Tom, it had to be. You looked at the building next to the figure. Yep, it is Tom.

You walk until you’re a few feet away from him.

“T-Tom?” You let out, almost as silent as a squeak. Their head looks up, and they slowly turn around. Your eyes made eye contact with their deep, red eyes. Their shaggy light blue hair was sticking out of their hoodie, and they had the strings tied together like you’ve seen on video call.

You smiled in joy, and went to wrap your arms around him. You pressed your face on their chest. He slightly stepped back, not expecting you to do that. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around you, careful not to touch you with all five of his fingers on each hand.

“(Y/N), you came.” He smiled, sighing. He didn’t want this moment to end; and neither did you. You moved your head up to look up at him. He was looking back down at you. “Are you always in these clothes? You have the same exact outfit from when we called on Omegle and video called today.” You teased, furrowing your brows. He grunted in response, and rolled his eyes.

“Haha, so funny. No, I don’t. But, I wanted to meet you because I wanted to talk to you about something.” You unwrapped your arms from him and slightly stepped back. You put your arms behind you and tapped the floor with the tip of your shoe. “What did you want to talk about?” You had a faint blush on your cheeks. He rubbed the top of head awkwardly and looked to the side.

“Well.. I know it’s only been three weeks but..” He started, taking a deep breath. You felt your heart beating loudly against your chest. You rubbed your lips together. You fidgeted with your hands. This is it.

“I feel like I’m the most comfortable with you. You let me talk about my problems and you help me with them. I calm down when you’re talking to me. After ending our calls at night, I wouldn’t be able to get you out of my mind.”

You felt your blush grow redder, and your breathing gradually increased. He’s doing it. He’s doing it.

“You’re.. simply to say.. the best thing that has happened to me. Nobody has acted this way to me besides you. Life makes sense when I’m talking to you.” He blushes, and grabs your shoulders. His pinkys don’t touch you. You widened your eyes at this, not expecting him to do that suddenly. You look at his eyes in a daze, feeling your heart almost explode out of your chest.

“(Y/N).. I..” He swallows, his throat dry.

“I love you.”

He finishes it at that, and there’s a silence. You blink, feeling fireworks explode in your stomach. You slowly smile. You raise your arm and move your hand through his hair and hoodie to his cheek. “Tom.. I love you too.” You felt your legs shake. Honestly, you never felt this way about anyone. So why do you feel this way with someone you met online? You didn’t know, but you didn’t feel bad.

He moves one of his hands towards his hoodie strings, and pulls them so they untie. His hoodie loosens, and you finally see his lips. They were chapped, colorless. Scarred. But you smiled. He moved towards you and placed his lips on yours. You close your eyes slowly. Carefully, he moves his hand down to your back, and pulls you closer. You felt yourself going crazy. You moved your free hand and placed it on his shoulder gently. Both of you deepened the kiss, feeling the passion between each other.

After a few seconds, you guys moved away from each other. You breathed silently while you stared at each others eyes. He smiled at you, but then his smile slowly went away. He sighed, and looked down.

“(Y/N), There’s something else I need to tell you.”

You look at him confused, but you still smile. “Yes, Tom? You could tell me anything.”

He lets go of your body and squeezes your hands in his hands. They were cold. “Will.. will you look at me differently? Will you still love me?”

Taken back by this, you didn’t know what to say. “Of.. Of course I will still love you. We’ve come this far, why would I stop loving you?” You ran your hand across his arm, trying to reassure him. He sighed, and suddenly looked up at you in all serious.

“My name is Shigaraki Tomura.” He spoke. “I’m.. the leader of the League of Villains.”

Your eyes went wide. Your whole body froze. You slightly squeezed your hand on his arm.

Leader of the villain league? Him? How? You couldn’t believe it. The same person you talked to about problems you believed to be normal; were just problems of a villain?

He noticed your fear, and his eyes went wide. He grabbed your shoulders, looking at you in panic. “You still love me right? You won’t leave me, will you? You know I love you right? I would never do anything bad to you.” He tried reassuring you, shaking you slightly.

You couldn’t help but be startled by him now. The same person you called insults and teased, could’ve easily lost control and killed you? Right now, you in the grip of his hands; if he lands his pinkies on you, you’re done for.

Do you still love him? You thought to yourself. Just the other night, he went out and attacked the city with his league of villains. That was the same night you guys were texting. You believed that he was at home, in his bed, just texting you. You couldn’t believe this.

“Tom... ura...” You choked. You realized that Tom wasn’t a fake name. It wasn’t an abbreviation of tomorrow. You gulped. Were you in his hands of delusion all along? Since the beginning?

Shigaraki gritted his teeth. “Please... (Y/N).. I’ll- I’ll change for you! I promise! Please.. me meeting you is possibly the most life changing thing that has happened to me. For the better! I love you so much! I would die for you!! I would disband the League of Villains for you! If- If you want, I’ll just kill them instead! The world could be in peace! (Y/N)-“

“Tom. Err.. Tomura. Listen.. this is a lot to take in right now. So please, just calm down. I don’t know your intentions, and I just can’t believe that... you’re a villain.” You let out, frowning. You looked down at the concrete below your feet, debating with yourself. What do you say next? Now knowing his true identity, you felt that if you say something wrong, you’re done for.

You squeezed his hands. Suddenly, you wrapped your arms around him, squeezing his hoodie between you hands. “Just please... change for me. Stop..” You blinked back your tears.

“Stop killing people.”

You heard his breath hitch, and he slowly wrapped his arms around you. “(Y/N).. I love you.” You closed your eyes. This is real life. The guy you met online, someone you felt was a normal person, turned out to be a villain.

You felt him move your hair away and moved it over your shoulder with his fingers. You looked up at him. He had an indescribable facial expression.

“(Y/N), I’m sorry. Just know I love you. But this is for our safety.” You furrow your brows in confusion, until you felt a sharp sting on the side of your neck. You widened your eyes. “Tomura..” You felt drowzy. An injection. You looked at him one final time, reading pain on his face. “I love you.” He said once again, but his voice was muffled. You felt darkness consume your vision, and fell onto your knees.

—

Leather. Your wrists were binded together with leather. You slowly opened your eyes, blinking to adjust to the light.

You slowly realized that your chest and your feet were binded against the chair you were sitting on as well. Your mind felt fuzzy, and you felt sick. Where am I?

“Aww, look guys! Shigarakis little girlfriend is starting to wake up!” You hear a girls voice. What is going on? You look up slowly. You see many figures. There were men, and distinctly one girl. You blinked a few more times to adjust your vision, and you looked to the back of the room. You felt your memories slowly start to come back as your eyes landed on Tomura. You widened your eyes, and felt tears run down your face. Tomura had his villain costume on, the hand on his face making it harder to see what his face looks like.

He got up and walked towards you. Fear pulsing through you, you kicked and pushed- trying to get out of the chair. Your quirk wasn’t much help, so you felt hopeless. Trying to fight back was your only option right now. Tomura bent over and put his hands on your shoulders. You rapidly shook your head. “Don’t touch me! Get off me!! You lied to me, you lied to me!! You never loved me!! You lied.. you want to kill me!” You screamed hysterically. More tears ran down your face. You weeped, noticing that Tomura hasn’t done anything yet. His pinkies were up like last time, and he didn’t harm you yet.

You sniffled. “Why.. why are you doing this?” You whimpered. He took one hand off your shoulder and carefully took off the plastic hand that was on his face. He was unreadable. Is he regretting what he is doing? Is he angry at you? Or does he simply not care at all and is just waiting for you to stop fighting so he could kill you already? He stands up straight and turns to the other villains. “Leave. We need privacy.” He demanded. They nodded, and with that, the villains walked out and left. Where? You don’t know. He turned back to you and put his hands back on your shoulders. You gulped in fear, feeling your breathing quicken.

“Wh-What do you want, Tomura.” You choked, sniffling. He frowned, and sighed. “(Y/N), I’m doing this for your safety and mine. If I just let you go after telling you who I am, you could’ve easily told the police about your connection with me, and they could use that to their advantage to track me down and arrest me. And we can’t have that, can we?” He stood up straight and walked to the wall to the right.

“And for your safety, if someone saw us talking, they would take the chance of kidnapping you themselves. They would try to get info from you and use you to their advantage.” He turns to look at you. You were still silently crying. You bit your bottom lip in anxiousness, until you heard footsteps from him walking towards you. You widened your eyes and quickly shut them, afraid of what is going to happen next.

You felt him cup your cheek softly with his hand. You flinched, realizing you lost all trust for him. “S-Stop..” You whisper. He frowns. He crossed his arms. “(Y/N). Look at me.” You didn’t comply, and still had your eyes closed. He furrowed his brows, frustrated. He banged his fist on the arm rest next to you, making you jump. “Look at me goddamnit!” He yelled. You looked at him with fear in your eyes. He widened his eyes slightly. He didn’t want to scare you. He just wanted you to understand. He softened his eyes and sighed in frustration. He pinched the bridge of his nose and continued looking at you.

“Look. I never lied to you. I still love you, (Y/N). Truly, I do. I meant everything I said in my, err, confession as you may call it. But things are too dangerous right now. I can’t change for you just yet. You understand that right?” You looked down in hopelessness. “I hope you can realize soon enough that what I’m doing is protecting you. Trust me, I won’t let the rest of the villains lay a single hand on you. I’ll treat you with good care.”

He held your chin up with his index finger, and you looked up at him in defeat. He smiled gently. “Alright princess?” --

My first fanfic in a while!! Hope you enjoyed! Hopefully there is more to come ;) this was requested by my amazing friend @crabziee-writez <3!

#shigaraki x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader #yandere shigaraki x reader #bnha fanfiction #boku no hero fanfic #boku no hero academia #bnha #bnha angst #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha #mha x y/n #bnha x y/n #bnha imagines #my hero academia #mha fanfiction #bnha x you #bnha shigaraki #x reader

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atelophobicity · 4 years ago

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Top 10 Things You Shouldn’t Do If You Want to Finish Your Thesis On Time

It’s my entry for September! I’ve been busy in consuming new music, films, and kvariety episodes in my effort to catch up on everything. So, I decided to post monthly to fulfill my oversharing Tumblr needs and to exercise my skills in writing in English and putting thoughts into coherent words.

TL;DR of this: things I’ve done instead of doing my thesis for the past year and a half. I’m not romanticizing my not doing thesis self for the past 21 months, but I’m also not dissuading you from doing other stuff besides thesis because god knows, you will need something.

1. Got a part-time job. This was the first new thing I’ve done that really took my time and effectively gave me no time to do thesis. And yet, this was the most rewarding thing as I learned how to get my TIN, accomplish my deliverables, answer to my superiors etc. Looking back, I wasn’t the best employee and I deserved no job offers on the same company after. But still, it was a stepping stone in the right direction. Adulting-wise, anyway.

2. Discover the art of creating.

Journal spreads. I bought a 2019 planner and I couldn’t fill it up, so I decided to turn it into a journal-planner. The art materials I used for to design pages are from old supplies bought back when I was in high school or stickers from the fandom-related events I attended. I didn’t spend money and I was given a chance to be creative.

Sew doll clothes. In K-pop, dolls that look like your idol exists. It usually comes with one set of clothes to dress it. As a “doll mother”, I wanted to dress them with new clothes but buying clothes was expensive. So, I just sewed clothes for them. I made clothes from scrap fabrics or clothes no one wears in our household. I’ve been barely successful, but it’s one of the things that keep me happy and make me feel like I’ve succeeded in one measly part of my life.

3. Purged my online files.

From my high school files. Nostalgia has been one of my coping mechanisms. I was able to be provided by lots of it when I discovered that I didn’t lose my high school files and it was on my mom’s laptop all along. Being able to relive memories while organizing my files was the best hours of that day.

To my external hard drives. Since 2016, I have been a hoarder of online files for so long that I have two EHDs to prove it. This time though, I was able to delete content that was either repetitive or uninteresting anymore. I was able to shave off some of my data bytes and am now able to save new interesting content available online (if I ever find one).

4. Realigned my priorities and consumption of K-pop as a stan and as a person by:

Selling 3/4 of my merch. Unlearning the pride that comes with owning K-pop merch was difficult, but overtime, I have been proud of myself for not falling to the traps of capitalism—at least in K-pop. Also! I was able to buy my own concert tickets with the stuff I sold so it is a win!

Joining giveaways instead. No matter how I can avoid the urge to buy K-pop merch, I still can’t help but want to own them. This is where I discovered how joining giveaways was my next best option. It takes a lot of effort and screenshots to win these things. However, if and when you win, it really feels like winning against the odds. You get free merch too!

Actually spent hours to vote and stream. In relation to the last point, since the main requirement in giveaways I’ve joined are voting/streaming proofs, I have been one of those people who collects points on voting apps or has a playlist of music videos that should be streamed. After collecting and/or streaming, I take screenshots, put watermarks there, and tags mutuals if needed. It’s relatively hard work but there’s a feeling of pride when your idol wins the poll or an MV reaches a certain amount of views and you know you participated in making that happen.

5. Rediscover Youtube. Channels like the vlogbrothers and their associates (Crash Course, Pemberley Digital among others), Buzzfeed’s shows (The Try Guys, Ladylike, Buzzfeed Unsolved) were a delight to watch after being out of the Youtube loop for so long. The platform also offered new niches of content and I allowed myself to be sucked in it. From Simply Nailogical to Ask A Mortician to amazing pop culture video essays like Lindsay Ellis and Jenny Nicholson, Youtube has all it for you! Learning something new every day is one of my favorite things and I get to do it with this website.

6. Rediscover my love of writing. (As if I’ve written anything for my thesis but here.)

Made drabbles. There is a weekly activity on my fandom where we write < 500 word drabbles on any pairings. I have been joining when I can, and through the support of the (small) community (back then), I gained confidence to write one. I’ve written at least four now and I’ve not done yet because I’ve been on a slump lately. But I’ll get back to it soon!

Short story. The same account that brought the drabble challenge created a festival where we write a pairing and write a short story with it. I decided to join the event! Not going to lie, my entry was shit, It was the first draft, it needed a lot of revisions and more constructive criticism and yet, I am still proud of it. It was the first creative fiction I wrote since 2019 and I did it in a day. And, I believe it has potential, so I’m going to review and revise the hell out of it someday.

7. Reclaim my college days.

Reconnected with orgmates. Visiting Elbi for registration and consultation purposes are brightened up by the fact that I get to do this. My first four years of college were not kind to me. I’ve forgotten a lot of things because of trauma and deep sadness that I still have until this day, and when I remember good things, they’re few and far in between. The numbered days I was in Elbi during 2019 were also few and far in between, but they were infinitely better than my academic years from 2015 to 2017. I was able to do the things I wasn’t able to do before (mostly attending Happy Ts and eating in newly-opened food places there) and I get to do it with people I love.

Made friends. One of the drawbacks of being a slot-driven student with no care of my coursemates’ schedules: I didn’t get to establish a friend group. So I didn’t get to make friends. During this time, I’ve accepted that I didn’t have any friends outside my organizations. But this time, instead of a feeling of dread of being that cliché orgmate, I feel relief and happiness because now, I realize that I do have friends from college, unlike the 2015-2017 who didn’t have anyone in college to rely on her darkest times.

8. Appreciated my friends more. For the past few years, I was the shitty friend. I agreed to go on hangouts only to message them that I’m backing out the last minute—sometimes I even straight up ghosted them. I really took my friends for granted. I have been slowly making it up to them by always attending when there’s an invite! I sometimes initiate the invite and it’s always a fun and healing time for me (it was a literal healing time for me as I was depressed during that time). I love them and I’m always thankful for them—and more so now than before.

9. Unlearning things like:

Realizing that a priv (a private account meant to be seen by your mutuals you trust; usually contains unpopular opinions and hot takes on stan twitter) only encourages negative emotions and I must not do it again.

No matter how I tried rationalizing my hate for Jennie when the JenKai dating news happened, I was one of those K-pop stans who hated her because she dated my idol. (I have moved on past that and have started liking her and Rose.)

Knowing that attacking people for what they say won’t make them unlearn their wrong opinions. Not talking down at them and educating with patience is the key, always.

There are still so much more I unlearned and learned where those came from. My main takeaway is: it’s complicated. Sometimes our opinion needs a more nuanced perspective and sometimes it needs to scrapped entirely because it was just wrong. But it is essential so we, as people, won’t be stuck with outdated views of the world.

10. Learning something new like:

Practicing how to do Tzuyu’s helicopter hands until I realized it wasn’t meant for me.

Utilizing Omegle to look for potential quaranflings.

Installing Telegram and uninstalling to ghost quaranflings.

How to do laundry in compliance with my mother’s preferences.

Doing two things at once.

Enough patience to take time and read the laws our government makes every day to know what I’m fighting against.

Optimizing my Twitter lists and now I can keep up with current affairs (that takes a toll on my mental health) then scroll through a fic fest-centric list the next (that helps me forget the stress from reading news).

Learning something new every day has become one of my life goals. Knowing that the world always has something new to offer to me, a speck in this universe, warms me up and keeps me going. And you’ll never know where the new tidbits will lead you. Maybe it’ll help you reconnect with something you’ve known before, maybe it’ll change how you see things, or maybe it’s something new that once explored, it will contribute something new to the community. It may seem small and unimportant but with a tweak in perspective, it might be something worth doing and pursuing.

Looking back at my list, I can finally see how if I didn’t do all these things, I would have probably finished my thesis by now and probably working a full-time job, able to provide the financial needs for my family. There will always be regret that I am still not done until now. But stressing over my current predicament in this time when the world is in its most stressful state yet won’t help me. So, we soldier on and hopefully, hopefully get back to the thesis I’ve been meaning to do.

Let’s get it.

#2020 diary

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purplesurveys · 5 years ago

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474

Tumblr makes the spacing kinda weird by the end, idk why but I hope it gets better for everyone else who wants to take this haha.

ONE - HI THERE! It’s an intro!

What do most people call you? Robyn. In what month is your birthday? April. What country were you born in? The beautiful but politically miserable Philippines. Do you have siblings? How many, if you do? I do; I have two. I’m the eldest, but they aren’t that far off from me. Who do you live with? I’m still studying so I’m living with family for now – mom and dad, a sister and a brother, and a dog. I really want to move out in the next couple of years though.

Are you in a relationship? Yes. Do you go to school? As I said, yes. I’m in university but I’m supposed to graduate next year. What mood are you in right now? Well, I wrapped up my internship last week and my entire weekend was booked with stuff I did, so now I’m just super glad to be home and bum around after all that hectic-ness. I just had 8 hours of sleep and am feeling pretty well-rested right now. What does your shirt look like? I’m wearing a big-ass gray Knicks sweater that’s like 3 sizes bigger for me. What’s your zodiac sign? Taurus.

TWO - Your Appearance

If you could have plastic surgery on any one body part, what would it be?Boobs. They’re so abnormally small that I’m tired of having to waste what would have been completely bomb outfits just because of my chest.

Are you satisfied with your hair? It could have less baby hair, honestly. But I’m fine with it for the most part.

Do you have a hitchhikers or a straight thumb? It’s a straight thumb. My left pinky is quite crooked though.

What colour are your eyes? Dark brown.

Do you have any tan lines? No, I haven’t gone to the beach in a while.

How old do people usually think you are? I just asked this question to Gabie last week and she said that I look 15.

What about your appearance do you get complimented on the most? Face and my overall figure.

Are you comfortable with your weight? Sure, but it’s always worrisome when I get to the lower 90s.

Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Where? Yeah, just the basic earlobes piercings that my parents got for me when I was a couple of months old.

How tall are you? I am 5′1″ and a half. I’m shorter than 5′2″, that’s for sure.

THREE - True or False

I love winter. Neither true or false as I have never experienced snow. I think I’d love it though.

I have eaten meat in the past five days. True. Filipinos eat meat a lot.

I have painted a room in a house. False. My mom is so controlling over adult things like that so she hired people to do it to all our rooms.

I can whistle. True. I learned pretty early.

My keyboard is black. True-ish? The buttons are black, but the spaces between them are silver.

I have never bought something off an infomercial. True. My mom would be so furious because it would be her money anyway.

I own a snuggie / would like to own a snuggie. False.

I bite my pens / pencils. False. I do bite my straws though.

I wear glasses / contacts. True.

My nails are painted right now. False.

FOUR - Childhood Memories!

What was your all time favourite movie as a kid? THE GAME PLAN, without a shadow of a doubt. Watched that shit everyday through third and fourth grade. My runner-up would be High School Musical.

Do you still have your first pair of shoes somewhere? Doubt it. My mom isn’t big on memories like me.

Did you have anything you always dragged around the house, like a blanket?Nope. I did use my parents’ blanket as a cape some days, and other days it would be a gown train and I’d pretend I was the Queen, but I wouldn’t drag it because it would get dirty.

What toy did you play with the most? I was always into grownup stuff so I always got kitchen appliances, dollhouses, etc. I once had toys that mimicked a pizza restaurant and it had a pizza roller and it was super fun for me haha. Once I got a pretend cash register though it was game over for all these bitches.

Did you ever bring your favourite toys in the bathtub? We didn’t have a bathtub, but yeah we would bring in our toys when we would shower.

Did you used to take baths with siblings/cousins? ^ Ooh, barely missed it. Yes, we did.

Are you still friends with your best friends from long ago? A handful are still my best friends. I keep in touch with most of my batchmates from my high school because we’re all close and we’re family and there was generally very little drama – and if there was, it was easy to let go.

Do your parents ever tell you stories about how cute/silly you were? They have several stories, but I was mostly a quiet kid who didn’t like getting in trouble.

Did you go to the park often? What was a typical outfit for the 5-year-old you?Blouses with a girly pattern, denim jeans, and Nike rubber shoes. The top always has to be tucked in.

FIVE - FAVOURITES

Actor/Actress: Kate Winslet

Singer/Band/Both: Beyonce / Paramore

Chocolate: Reese’s

Toothpaste: ??? Whatever we have at home I guess?

Picture of yourself: Nah man, not doing that here.

Pair of sunglasses: I don’t have a favorite.

Vegetable: Broccoli!

Sandwich: Monte Cristo

Aspect of nature: Waterfalls

Word to say: “Literally”

SIX - Love Life ;)

Who was the first person to ever ask you out? No one’s ever asked me out before. Although I think that dude from one of my classes in sophomore year intended to…but I dunno. We were paired up together for this class and he wanted to spend time with me in a coffee shop after our work was done; I didn’t feel comfortable just being by myself so I told him in advance that I was gonna be bringing Gabie…never heard from him ever again :/

What does your ideal date consist of? Dinner somewhere nice (Italian or Japanese) should be enough for me.

What’s one thing your partner must be able to accept about you? I get sad and I’ll need loooooooong stretches of time alone some days.

Does your ideal person have any special talents? She can paint and draw. She doesn’t really share these with other people but she does with me.

Do your parents like the person you’re with? (Or the last person) My parents liked Mike and were convinced something was happening between us lmao. They don’t know about my relationship with Gabie yet.

Do you like pet names? Yes when it’s just the two of us. Publicly, I control myself, cos I know it annoys me when other people are too showy/vocal. Like I don’t call Gab pet names when we’re out with friends; and when we’re out at the mall or whatever, I’m not very physical other than holding her hand.

What is your age range? Same age. I can’t imagine dating someone younger or older, but then again this is because I haven’t had any other experience.

What is one attribute that your ideal partner must have? Sincerity.

When was the last time someone seriously said “I love you.” to you? This morning.

Have you ever been in more than one relationship at a time? No.

SEVEN - The wonderful world of the Internet!

What is your most used website? Probably Twitter. It’s the first thing I check everyday.

Do you play any online games? Other than playing on Y8 when I was younger, no.

Which chat program do you use most often? Messenger.

Facebook vs Myspace- which is better? I haven’t used Myspace in a hot minute, so I’ll go with Facebook.

Is there someone you met online that you’d like to meet in person? Yes, I’m still waiting to meet Aliyah. Girl is in BGC every single day but I can’t seem to grab lunch or dinner with her!

Have you ever sold something on Ebay or Craigslist? No.

Have you ever gone on Chatroulette? Or Omegle video? Yeah, when I was like 12 and curious about the Internet haha.

Are there any videos of yourself on Youtube? I don’t think so.

Mac or PC? Mac.

Have you ever Googled your name? I’ve Googled my username before, but not my name.

EIGHT - This or That?

Twilight or Harry Potter?

French fries or potato wedges?

Liquid ortape white out?

Digital or film camera?

Nail clippersor nail scissors?

Rock, paper, or scissors?

Beard or mustache?

Knee high or ankle socks?

Hockey or basketball?

Mr Clean or sponge and ‘the other leading cleaning product’?

NINE - Be cool, stay in school!

What subject are/were you best at? It’s always history, or social studies in general.

How old will you be when you graduate high school / how old were you? I was 18 when I graduated.

Isn’t there that point in the year when you stop caring so much? Yep, it’s usually when you’re a senior.

Do/did you have any really cool teachers? In UP? Absolutely. There’s a lot of shitty profs, but the cool ones are way too hardcore.

Who is/was your most strict teacher? Sir Ruel in my old school. Old man was and is such a fucking loser. Once had a comment about my breasts and I never forgot about it. Also kicked me and a bunch of other kids out of his class in fifth grade because we didn’t have crayons. He actually got booted by the school for a year because a parent complained about him, but he came back after.

Where do/did you sit at lunch? In high school, the cafeteria was too crowded so my friend group would hang out in our classroom, since most of us were classmates. Right now, lunch just depends on my schedule and where I happen to be by noon.

What do/did you do at recess? Catch up on homework I skipped the night before.

There’s always that one kid who no one really knows, right? LOL, yes.

Is/was your cafeterias food actually any good? It used to be good. Then they kind of hired this company to start making the meals starting junior year and the food was never as good again.

Do/did you have a stereotypical school, with all those cliques and such? You can say that. We had popular party kids, smart but still cool kids, soccer players, the basketball players who all turned out gay, kids who kinda just hovered in the middle, and those who were kinda brushed to the side were the theatre and anime kids.

TEN - Randomly Platypus.

Do you like your toothbrush really wet when you’re brushing your teeth? Not really wet. I just make sure I’ve put it under the running water before applying the toothpaste.

What song are you currently obsessed with? Not into anything at the moment.

What was the stupidest dare you’ve ever done? I hate dares, so I don’t do them haha.

Do you enjoy playing with tape? No?

What’s one word/phrase you say too much? LITERALLY. Which is a problem because most of the time, the things I associate the word with aren’t literal.

When was the last time you went trick-or-treating? 2017.

What did you last use a knife for? Haha, my orgmates were cooking up lunch and I volunteered to chop up the onions. Fun fact: First time to use a knife, ever.

When you open a pack of gum, why is everyone your best friend? Because gum is always a good idea.

What has been on your mind way too much? Completing my requirements for internship so I can submit them as early as possible.

Did you actually enjoy my survey? Sure. Categories are always fun.

#survey #surveys

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bitchyandwitty · 7 years ago

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Omegle Chat - Drarry (Post War)

I’m so sad that the stranger disconnected. If I could find anyone that would continue this and play Draco, I’d be the happiest person in the world. It was just getting good too. The other person started as Ron and then moved to Draco. Please send me a message if you’re interested.

Stranger: (Post-Battle of Hogwarts, everyone is staying in hotel rooms provided by the Ministry of Magic during the trials. Sent at 2am) Mate, wake up. Dad just came in, I can hear him talking to Mum about something /big/. - RW

You: Ron, why couldn't this wait until morning. I'm trying to sleep. HP

Stranger: It's /important/. - RW

You: What's it about then? HP

Stranger: Trials are over, officially. The jury finally reached a verdict about the Malfoys. - RW

You: At this time of night? Merlin, what's the verdict? HP

Stranger: Yeah, they've been working through the night. - RW

Stranger: Well, Narcissa and Draco are free to go. They pleaded guilty but it was overruled by the evidence you gave. - RW

You: That's good. I mean that was the plan. I'm assuming Lucius was found guilty. Does he have an azkaban sentence? HP

Stranger: Try a /life/ Azkaban sentence. Whole inner circle's got one. - RW

Stranger: And, uh...you know how the Ministry stopped using the Dementor's Kiss a while back? - RW

You: Can't say I'm surprised. Did your parents mention how the family took that news?

You: And yes? why? HP

Stranger: Well, Narcissa's already fucked right off to Paris, apparently, she's gonna go lay low with friends. Ministry's claimed Malfoy Manner so it's not like she's got a place to stay here anyway. - RW

Stranger: They're making an exception. Dementor's Kiss one final time for the inner circle around Voldemort. - RW

You: I can't say I blame her. But I didn't think it'd be so soon. And Draco, he went with her as well? HP Are you serious? There was a reason the kiss needed to eradicated. They can't actually plan to do that! HP

Stranger: Oh nah, apparently Draco's still here. There's a plan to let us come back to Hogwarts for eighth year and complete our N.E.W.T.s, so I reckon he'll be in London until the end of summer. - RW Oh, they're serious. Dad looks proper uneasy about it, but they're really gonna do it. They already apparated Lucius to Azkaban so considering how fast they're moving it'll probably be done tonight. - RW

You: Tonight! Why didn't you tell me sooner? We need to stop this from happening. Why didn't you dad stop them? HP I did not almost die for this crap to still be happening. HP

Stranger: His hands are tied, mate, half the Ministry protested it but the ones who are pushing for it to happen won out by a slim majority. A lot of them lost people because of what Lucius did, they want revenge. - RW

You: Revenge isn't going to solve this. Everyone lost people. The kiss is dreadful if they had any idea how cruel it is, they'd reconsider their vote. HP

Stranger: Yeah, /I/ know that, and honestly half of them know that too, they're just...angry. - RW

Stranger: It's too late, mate. Lucius was apparated after his trial ended, Dad had to sign confidentiality paperwork before he even came up here...chances are it's already happened. - RW

You: If I'd known this before, I could have done something or said something. I mean Lucius was a right bastard, but no one deserve the kiss. HP

Stranger: Nobody knew, the jury deliberation and the verdict was a closed and secure room. - RW

Stranger: Even dad didn't know until they announced it, then all hell broke loose, but they went ahead with it. - RW

You: I don't even know what to say at this point. I'm so disgusted with everyone. And I'm sure their just going to sweep it under the rug and brush it off. Has anything really changed? HP

Stranger: Voldemort's dead, that's what's changed. So, knowing them...yeah. They'll sweep it under the rug, try and get back to normal. - RW

You: Right so another dark wizard can rise up? I wonder who'll stop them next? HP

Stranger: I dunno what to tell you, mate. It's bloody messed up. - RW

Stranger: They want us all out of the hotel by tomorrow morning, too. Worried about security issues since they made some controversial decisions tonight. - RW

You: I know. I'm just pissed. HP Bloody wonderful. Guess we'll just hop around until they ship us back to Hogwarts. I don't even want to go. HP

Stranger: I'm heading back home with mum and dad, Hermione's coming too. You'll be welcome, if you don't wanna stay at Grimmauld by yourself. - RW

You: I don't know. I'll think about it, yeah? HP

Stranger: Yeah, 'course, up to you. Point is you've got options. - RW

Stranger: Mad, though. Dunno what everyone else is gonna do. - RW

You: I appreciate it. Promise. Everything you and your family have done. HP I suppose you could write them. Hopefully Pig won't get too lost. HP

Stranger: I know, don't worry. You're family, we're not just gonna leave you. - RW Yeah, we'll figure it out. I might as well start packing now I reckon, mum and dad are still talking so I won't be able to get back to sleep. To be honest I doubt anyone who's heard the verdict tonight'll be getting much sleep. - RW

You: Agreed. It's just odd to think how different everything is going to be now. If we do go back to Hogwarts, perhaps we'll have a normal year for once. HP

Stranger: Doubt it. There's barely anyone going back, they're already talking about just lumping us all together for classes, and in dorms. No more houses. - RW

You: You can't be serious. The students need some normalcy. They could still have the houses, but promote inner house unity or something. We've seen first hand that not all Slytherin are evil. We could change the rift and make it better. HP

Stranger: Doesn't look like it, mate. All one big lump, and that means sharing dorms, too. You know what that means - ever fancied Malfoy as a roommate? - RW

You: Merlin, everything you spit out just makes thing worse. Do you have any good news? HP

Stranger: Uhh. Nah. Not really. - RW

Stranger: Put it this way: you can't be having a shittier night than Draco. - RW

You: Fair. But maybe we could do something about that. Do you know if he's still in the hotel? HP

Stranger: I'm guessing so, he literally ain't got anywhere else to go. - RW

You: Well maybe I could send an olive branch. He might take it? Not like he's got much more to lose? HP

Stranger: If you like, your call. I'd help but...y'know. Packing. -RW

Stranger: Plus Hermione's kinda...asleep on my arm. - RW

You: It's fine. I get it. HP

You: I can handle this alone. HP

Stranger: Alright, mate, good luck. - RW

Stranger: Think he's on the top floor. Nobody else is up there, everyone's either run off or been sent to Azkaban. - RW

You: Right. Thanks for the information. I doubt anything will happen, but if I don't message you tomorrow, send a look out party for me. HP

Stranger: Oh yeah, you got it. - RW

You: Alright. talk to you soon. HP (Would you like to do paragraphs or initial messages between Harry and Draco?)

Stranger: ((Up to you! Paragraphs are fine with me if you'd prefer :) ))

You: (Alright sounds good to me)

You: Despite the aches Harry was still feeling from the war, Harry made himself get up. He didn't bother changing out of this pajamas. If Ron was right, then Draco would be seeing him this way everyday at Hogwarts. Plus, he liked being comfortable. Before he left, he grabbed a pair of trainers and his jacket. Finding Draco's room wasn't hard. It was the only door that was shut on the top floor. As Harry approached, his nerves were starting to get the best of him. He paced in front of the door for a few minutes before he found the courage to knock a few times lightly on the door. He played with the frayed hem of his jacket as he waited for the occupant to answer the door.

Stranger: Draco was the only person left in the hotel who'd had to stand trial, the others - like his father - either being transported to Azkaban immediately after the verdict or, if they were found innocent like his mother, running away to other countries to hide from the fallout of the trials. He'd been told he could say goodbye to Lucius before he was taken, since everyone knew the Dementor's Kiss would leave him in a mental state where he wouldn't ever recognise him again, but Draco had refused. Deep down - perhaps not even that deep - he knew that his father deserved this. And a part of him, the part that had suffered Lucius' abuse for years on end, felt a horrible twisted sort of relief. Still, Draco hadn't been able to get any sleep since the verdict had been read. He was sat on his bed fully clothes in black slacks and a white button-down shirt, the sleeves rolled right down to hide the dark mark on his forearm. He was paler than usual, dark circles ringing his eyes and his hair dishevelled. When he heard the knock on his door he frowned, helpless to defend himself since his wand had been held in custody for the time being. He stood up slowly and went to go and answer it, opening it a fraction before realising who was on the other side. "Potter?" he asked, his voice betraying his genuine confusion.

You: It felt like an eternity before Harry saw the door move and only a slither of the other man was visible. He let out a breath that he only now realized he was holding. He bounced nervously on his heels trying to come up with what to say to the other and scolding himself for not thinking about it before. "Right....hi, um, Dra- or Malfoy. Whichever. It makes no difference to me." He glanced down both hallways before looking back at Draco. "I guess I just came up here to see how you're doing. Which is dumb and....uh....I'm sure that I'm one of the last people you'd want to see and I don't mean to bother you. And well if we have to be roommates, it might as well not be the most awful thing if we talk or I can go. You probably want to be alone. I get that. I wanted to be alone too. Need to think and all. Right...?" He rambled out, glancing back to the elevator and wondering what possessed him to act like such an idiot.

Stranger: Draco blinked, looking him up and down for a second. He'd had a lot of time to think about Harry Potter recently - how he'd felt when he'd thought he was dead (awful), how he'd felt when he found out he was actually alive (elated), and how he felt watching him testify for himself and his mother during their trials (grateful). It was a far cry from the childish hatred he'd held for him back in their earlier years of school. After a moment he stepped aside, opening the door a little wider to let Harry into the room. Once he was inside he closed it again, silently going over to sit on his bed like he had been before, back against the headboard and one long leg stretched out in front of him with the other pulled up to his chest. "You can sit," he said eventually, gesturing to the end of the bed. There was a tray of untouched food on a table by the window, a full pot of tea that had gone stone cold. He considered using a charm to heat it up so he had something offer him, but he didn't think he could stomach drinking it himself yet. "So. I assume Weasley told you everything."

You: Harry looked around the room. Taking in every detail before finally sitting down on the bed. He rested his elbow on his knees and stared at his clasped hands. It took him a moment to finally nod and turn his head slightly toward the other. "Yeah, Ron overheard his parents talking about it. I--This is all still so fucked up!" He said. His voice rising with clear disapproval. "I suppose it was stupid of me to thing everything would just change in the blink of an eye."

Stranger: Wonderful, so word was already getting out. He knew that by the time he had to leave the hotel the next morning, there'd be a throng of reporters from the Daily Prophet waiting to get a photo of the boy who was now as good as an orphan. "I'm not surprised," he said, his voice coming out as more of a drawl. He'd had his time to come to terms with this - their lawyer had suggested it could be a possibility right from the start, so he'd had a few days to think it all over. He reached out to his nightstand and picked up a neatly folded piece of parchment, holding it between two fingers and extending it towards Harry. "It's not as if he's dead. They gave us his cell number and told us visiting times, in case we ever want to go and watch him drool onto his clothes." He turned his head to look out the small window, though all he saw outside was pitch dark. He already knew he wouldn't go and visit - he didn't want to. His mother might, perhaps, but only once she'd stayed in hiding for a good long time. "I've got other things to think about. Hogwarts doesn't start for another three weeks."

You: Harry let out a sigh and took the paper even though he had no plans to read it. He set it down next to him. "Still.....It was banned for a reason and I'd hoped that people would remember that. We're no better off if people continue to act this way." Harry shook his head feeling as if his words were a mute point. "Hogwarts shall be interesting. Ron said their won't be Houses anymore. Sounds rather distressing in my opinion. I'm planning on trying to get McGonagall to change it back."

Stranger: "You shouldn't. It'll already be bad enough for Slytherins in the younger years. Sticking the eighth years in green robes too will be like putting targets on our backs." Draco leaned his head back against the headboard and stared up at the ceiling. There was a drip coming through a crack that had been keeping him up the past few nights, and he was almost glad to be leaving the hotel just to be away from it. "They're not getting rid of them completely. Just for us. There aren't enough of us coming back." He closed his eyes for a second. "Blaise isn't coming, neither's Pansy. Or Millicent. It's just me."

You: Harry turned to look at Draco shocked. "You can't just get rid of Slytherin. You aren't all bad and people ned to see that. I'm just so tired of all the hate. Why can't we try to understand each other instead of thinking that the other is wrong or better." Harry fell back onto the bed and looked up at the ceiling as well. "I guess that's just how I pictured things would be after this was all over."

Stranger: "You've got a very optimistic way of looking at things," Draco muttered, flipping the piece of parchment containing his father's prison information off the edge of the bed. "They're not getting rid of Slytherin. First years will still be sorted into Slytherin and all the other years get to keep their house affiliations. But nobody's coming back from Slytherin except for me, I'm the only one, there's no point me wearing green just to stand out. I've had enough of that," he said, picking at a hangnail on his thumb until it bled. He didn't know /why/ it felt strangely comfortable or normal to have Harry Potter laying out over the end of his bed - well, the bed he'd been given for now, anyway - but somehow it did. It was better than being alone, at least. "I assume you'll be leaving with the Weasleys tomorrow," he said, wanting to change the conversation away from what was going to happen back at Hogwarts.

You: "I guess it's what kept me going each morning." He replied honestly. "Something had to...." He grabbed at the frayed hem on his jacket once again at the mention of the Weasley's. "He have a shrug. "Don't know. I've an invitation, but it still sort of feels like I'm intruding. What with Fred....and Ginny. I'll probably just end up at Grimmauld Place until it's time to leave. At least the press can't find me there."

Stranger: Draco didn't know what was going on with Potter and the Weaslette, he'd stopped paying attention to their personal lives once everything in his own started going downhill. The only thing he really knew about was Granger and Weasley, because they made it virtually impossible to ignore with how they were always all over each other - it was going to be a nightmare back at Hogwarts. "Oh. The Black place," he said, giving a short nod. He remembered hearing about it, mostly from Bellatrix and mostly in the context of how to attack it. He felt sick for a moment, rubbing a hand over his tired face and closing his eyes.

You: "Yeah, Sirius left it to me." A small smile forming on his face at the mention of his godfather. "It's really all I have left of him. I though about maybe trying to clear some of the junk out of there or fix up some of the rooms. I don't know. Haven't planned that far. But it'd give me a way to spend my time. Not have to think about what's happening outside." Harry rubbed his face with his hands. "I don't sounds sort of stupid now that I've said it aloud. Sirius didn't even like that place."

Stranger: Draco gave a quiet hum to acknowledge he was listening, while he thought about his own arrangements once he had to leave the next day. He could go to another hotel, he supposed, but with so many of his family's assets seized by the Ministry he couldn't afford to burn through money too quickly. And besides, who knew if another hotel would even take him, once he gave them his last name? "You should keep it," he said, wondering if Harry would accept the advice or dismiss it as useless since it was coming from him. "A house is a house. If you fix it up it won't even look like it used to."

You: Harry nodded along. That was rather good advice. Harry also had a feeling that Sirius would like if he fixed up the place. Harry knew it would take longer than three weeks. The house was huge, especially if it was just him fixing it or trying to. It would be a start, at least. He could come back afterwards and fix it the rest of the way after graduation. "Thanks, Malfoy. I'll see what I can get done in the three weeks we have left until Hogwarts." He glanced over at the other and frowned a bit. Here he was talking about having two options of places to stay and Draco probably did have one. "What about you? Do you know where you'll go in the morning?" He asked softly. Really hoping that Draco could tell that he genuinely cared.

Stranger: Draco shook his head. "There's an apartment above Borgin and Burkes, a studio," he said, going back to fidgeting with the hangnail. Even though it was bleeding he barely even felt it. "Down Knockturn Alley. It was my...it belonged to the Lestranges. As far as I know there was never a contract so it hasn't been seized. I think that's my only option." He'd been there before, when they'd spent long nights teaching him to use the vanishing cabinet. It was a grotty place, the roof was glass and offered little privacy or warmth so it was perpetually cold, it would definitely be leaking by now with all the rain that was coming down, and it had mould all over. Still, he supposed it was something.

You: "Oh...right. That sounds..." 'Dreadfully awful.' he supplied in his head and based on Draco's facial expression. He didn't seem too thrilled either. Harry could only imagine what the place was probably like. Grimmauld's was already petty dark and unwelcoming. He expected the Lestranges flat to be worse. There was also the fact that Knockturn was still slimy. There could be a chance that someone could break in or try to mug Draco on the street. He could already see it. Draco showing up to King's Cross with a black eye. "You could always stay at Grimmauld's. It needs a lot of work, but there's plenty of space. You could have a whole floor if you wanted."

#drarry #omegle #roleplay #harry potter #harry potter roleplay #drarry fic #post war #drarry roleplay #help me #in love #omegle roleplay

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rpedia · 8 years ago

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[Ask RPedia] Post-Long Time RP Shutdown Advice?

Anonymous asked: Hey, do you have any advice for people who have been in roleplays for 1 year+ that have just closed down? Feeling kind of lost & in a funk now I've lost contact with people I was close to & enjoyed writing with. Not sure if this is the right place to come and ask but figured it was worth a shot

Oh no! Another lost lamb. I see this happening a lot, and boy experiencing it was no happiness either. It’s like finishing a good book and having the world slowly fade in. Everything’s different, and empty, it’s horrible. Unfortunately, no matter how long your RP friends have lasted, sooner or later it starts falling apart. It’s always good to have interests and accounts in other places in case of loss like this, because you’re gonna have to build from scratch one way or another, paralleling it with growth takes away some of the ‘waiting’. Let’s talk about some likely ways to handle this though from the beginning!

You can go to somewhere new. Explore! There’s a whole wide web of sites that want to encourage you to roleplay, from forums to chatrooms. I keep a list here that anyone can reply to and add places to check out, and that I add to whenever I move sites. I haven’t for some time actually, because each new fandom I move to, and each new group has been found and expanded on that very large very open site. (Thanks F-list!). When you join a new site, you can usually find someone, somewhere, willing to chat with you. They may not be the kind of partner you want right that second because they aren’t what you’re used to, but talk to them anyways. Work your way to RP for the sake RP with a new person, and you can find people you didn’t realize you’d be so close to, because you simply were busy with people you already were close to! Offer enough chances, and something will pan out.

Try speed dating. Like the sound of quick semi-meaningless RPs to check for Chemistry? Omegle, Cherubplay, MSPARP, even Chatroulette in an emergency. Just set your standards to how you like, make sure you suggest “roleplay” and your fandom name of choice on Chatroulette and Omegle, and then play out random little abstract tidbits about your characters meeting. You can find really interesting people like this, who might be willing to toss a Tumblr handle or Skype handle your way where you can find each other again and start roleplaying in a bigger way. Many of the users on these sites either don’t have a solid constant flow of RP elsewhere (which means they may be open to a tighter bond with someone) or they’re shopping for neat people to share with others. You can build patter, and teach yourself to be more social through these cold start prompts. It’ll force you to drop some habits you’ve gotten used to with other people, and open your mind to new people.

Try going out and doing other things, or finding new fandoms. Oh look, personal growth! You’re free, instead of lost. You’ve got no roots and therefore can meander into anything you find interesting. Something maybe your past partners were tentatively interested in, or not interested at all so you set it aside. Watch a new series, get addicted, get fresh ideas and try new OCs. Do something you’ve never done before, and you’ll find people who were connected to those things the whole time. When you finally get into those things, you’’ meet people you’ve never met. The RP world is basically a giant net, and everyone is connected via interests, threads, and other people. If you put yourself out there on a thread or in a chatroom and just talk about something new, you’ll be visible to new people, and if you share interests and chemistry with these new people... Well the obvious happens. You’ll end up chatting, possibly making friends, and since you both like RP if you stick to RP sites, you might actually get into another group. Just because your group is dead, doesn’t mean there aren’t living ones looking to suck in someone of interest who used to be busy! Don’t be afraid to approach people just to talk, or to work out a plot.

Hang out on Public Chats/Forums. Be yourself, in front of other people! Related to all of my points a little, if you’ve been in a private chat, or a private Skype, a closed tumblr, or a private forum you haven’t had much time to get out and be seen. You’re basically a stranger to the internet. Someone who hid themselves in the ancient caves to practice their art, unseen for centuries before bursting onto the scene. If you become seen, people will check you out. People who may not approach you at first until they get a nice sense of you. If you’re nice to whoever comes to you, no matter their RP quality, you’ll have people who may be really good, but really shy, find you safe. If they find you safe, they’ll approach you, and you can bond with them. If you play long enough in public, you’ll get regulars, and friends. When you have friends and regulars, they may play with each other in public using you as a jumping off point for why they are interacting. You’ll help them greet people they would never meet on their own. As that gets bigger, this Katamari of Roleplay will build and build until you have your own little niche/clique/community within the larger landscape. All this, just by being visible, and good natured/interesting in public, regularly.

Roleplaying wasn’t hard to get into the first time you did it, I have a feeling. Sure it was big and new and a little intimidating, but you didn’t know what to expect. You wanted to learn, interact. You didn’t have any solid ideas of what was going to happen, or memories of people who were fantastic players you were really close to. Your friends mean something, and they always will. But you’re allowed to have more friends. You’re allowed to open up, socially, and try everything as if it’s brand new again.

Let yourself be hesitant, but don’t be afraid to jump in! Jump into everything! Everywhere! Explore your new characters through writing fanfics or short stories. Work on profiles. Design worlds. Design life. Come up with concepts. Play with yourself, by writing by yourself. Maybe in public. Let yourself do crack-play, or bullshit you wouldn’t do because you have a higher standard now. If it’s fun, it’s fantastic! It doesn’t matter what other people think. You’ll find somewhere, as long as you openly invite interaction in your posts. No hanging out in corners sipping tea, no yawning, no sitting by yourself hoping someone will get curious.

Name drop, in narration not vocally for your character unless they know the names. Interact with other posts. Someone do something silly? Laugh about it. React to the people around you. Invite them to react back. Allow them to see you want to play with them. As long as you actively seek out other people, and actions instead of trying to lead everything yourself you’ll end up getting the ball rolling on new RP friendships.

Interest can be anything from playing a character that is unique, to playing a character doing something other people haven’t seen a thousand times which has something that they will notice. Be it sound, visual stimuli, smells, emotions, or even sense of touch. Don’t be obnoxious and grab strangers or attack people out of no where. For the love of god, poking will annoy a lot of people. But maybe, sit down and set up a board game. Roll some dice loudly. Start laughing at something on your cellphone, and look around for someone to share it with. People will jump on open interactions like that. Especially if you make a note you’re looking for someone to do so. Glancing around for help, literally calling out, ‘Hey anyone wanna join me?’ shit like that.

Pretend you’re in public in the real world, in New York. They pretty much ignore things that are wacky and abnormal unless they explicitly involve them in the action. Not by touching, so much because that’s kind of creepy and assault in some cases, but by vocalizing and calling out. “Hey! You!” yelled at the big guy in the corner will get their attention. Emotion and shit, tone of voice. Are you curious, snappish, excited, angry? It brings elements to RP to draw new people in.

And of course, skim their profiles if they have any. OOC sections and ‘likes and dislikes’ and other important ‘Please don’t do this’ things should be known if you are approaching someone new. It takes 15 seconds, and could save you from calling out someone, and demanding a fight, from someone who doesn’t like fight RP. Or who doesn’t want to play anything you find interesting. Everyone’s different, and honestly, it takes a few extra seconds to make things so much easier on everyone else.

I also suggest the tag #RPediaRP for everyone trying to find partners! Look, the tag’s empty right now. But if you use the tag on here, on Omegle, on Twitter, anywhere you can use a tag system? People looking at it because I just advertised it to over 6.5k people, might see you. Say hi! Mention that you’re looking for asks, or replies. Say you’d like to chat about stories. Give a summary of you and your character. See who shows up to the party. #RPediaRP is 100% user generated, not me, but it’ll let people find each other. I get a lot of fucking asks about advertising and finding each other. Using that tag to post open starts, and stuff like that will get that community participation in a smaller area. Ya’ll are good RPers right? GET OUT THERE. GET SEEN!

Advertising a tag to help ya’ll find other RPedia readers who want RP aside, that’s great advice and I’ll repeat it 30 thousand times. Get seen. Make friends. Interact. You got this, it’s all a matter of self advertisement and trying.

Emotionally, I would like to touch upon recovery. You have just experienced a major loss. An RP network is a support network. It’s friendships, and building a world that feels real and unique. Even though it’s fictional, it still has the same value as face-to-face relationships in terms of support, interaction, social ties, and emotion. You still feel love for them, kinship, understanding. You’ve learned their tics, and how they interact with one another. You’ve gotten close to these people, and having those ties severed feels like shit.

Reach out to them, some of them may be feeling the same way and you can continue on your journey with people who already understand you. People who care about you, and don’t want to lose contact. Maybe some of your friends are more healthy by going on their way? But sharing your life with someone you’re used to, and who will remember things can make the loss less sharp. Just don’t hyperfocus on them and force them to be your entire social network, they’ll get tired, resentment will brew. Remember to keep reaching outwards, and never focus all your attention on just one person. It’s unhealthy and ends up making everyone kinda upset in the end.

You still matter, even though you’ve lost things. You’re a person, and roleplaying means something to you. It’s an interest or hobby that can help you grow as a person and really see the world, and meet people. You’ll do things you can never hope to do in real life. So, in a way, roleplay can heal what roleplay has harmed. Don’t abuse it, and make yourself the center of every sad story, but you can hint as losing friends, or missing people and get a little bit of coddling. Here and there, a light dusting of sad spice. It can be cathartic if you’re not heavy handed.

Give yourself time to heal. Rest up, you’ve been through something. It might take you 5 minutes to be fresh as a daisy, or months or years to get over that loss. Everyone’s different. You might go through all the stages of grief, or you might go ‘well.... time to move on’ and find something to distract you entirely. It’s okay, no matter what you choose to do, or well, not choose, but have to experience because your brain is a mean little thing that pushes various chemicals whether you ask it to or not.

You’re going to be fine, experiencing pain and loneliness is normal. It’s normal to feel both loss and grief, and love and sentimental warmth. Look back on it as something amazing, something you loved, and look for new challenges. New purpose, relief, and happiness is in your future. You are not lost for good, you’re just... in-between roleplay partners. You’ll get new ones, the urge to write and tell stories never leaves you entirely.

Good luck, and happiness on your path to finding this shit. Gooey and lovey-dovey as I sound, and as hard as this feels for some of you? You’ll be okay. Everything will be okay.

#roleplaying #roleplay help #finding partners #roleplay partners #RPC #RPH #Ask RPedia #RPedia #RPediaRP #Looking for partners?#Use RPediaRP as your first tag

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fuckyeahasexual · 8 years ago

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Ace Valentine Story

About a year and a half ago, I was on Omegle (Yes, that site where they connect you with random strangers and let you chat) and I met this person who did an RP (roleplay, fandom, obviously) with me. It went pretty well, so we decided to start doing another, and we began doing it long-term, first on twitter dm, and then on tumblr. We started chatting a bit and I felt we had a sort of connection, which led to us becoming close friends.

After a while (not sure whether months or weeks,) they disappeared off tumblr for a few days and I had no idea what happened to them. When they returned a few day later, I found out that they had attempted suicide. I don’t want to say too much because I know they’re sensitive about this, but their life was really rough at that point, and they had depression and other issues and they were very, very alone in it all. Of course, being a human who understands the sanctity of life, I was concerned, and as any decent person would be, I didn’t want someone to take their own life. So, I tried my best to help them, to talk to them and convince them there was something worth living for.

It wasn’t easy. Dealing with a person going through depression and trying to help them when you’re on an entirely different continent isn’t easy. But they slowly opened up to me and I’m very proud of them for letting someone in in their situation. At some point along the way, I just kind of realized that I cared for them very much. Deeper than a friendship, but I had no idea what it was at that time. That was also around the time when I realized I was ace and I found out about my romantic orientation. But I didn’t realize my feelings for them for what they were yet.

It all kinda just came out one day (a fucking leap day, to be exact) when we were doing those ask things on tumblr where you ask people who their tumblr crush is and stuff like that. Well, we asked each other the same thing, and… it turned out we were each other’s tumblr crushes. And when we talked about it a bit more, it turned out we actually liked each other, not just our blogs and stuff. And it hit me like a brick wall. So I did the logical next step and asked them to be my partner. Don’t ask me what compelled me to do it, I just felt like I wanted to, like it was the perfect time and that it made total sense. I mean, I liked them, they liked me, why the fuck not? So I asked. And they said yes.

We worked out the whole me-being-ace thing and they were really cool with it, and I really appreciate that. I feel very lucky that I could find someone who is accepting of who I am, and they are so much more than I could have ever asked for in a partner.

So… yeah. I fell in love online with someone whose real name I didn’t even know until we were actually in a relationship, whose face I’d hadn’t even seen until a short while before I’d asked them, someone I had met literally by chance.

And that’s the story of my online relationship with my partner @onmywaytofandomhell! Happy Valentine’s to all the aces out there!

#ace stories #aspecvalentine #submission #dating #positive

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frostbiteandblacksnow · 8 years ago

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Knowing your partner well can potentially make writing together a lot easier!

Know your partner blahblahblah.

Complete with way more information than you need.

1. Basics. ]]

NAME Yuki, Winter, whatevz. Many forums, many names. If you know my real name, please don’t use it publicly. PRONOUNS he in person, he/she/they otherwise. I don’t mind, whatever you’re comfortable with. SEXUALITY ????? People are nice. Bi, probably. ZODIAC SIGN Aries. Grab life by the horns. TAKEN OR SINGLE I am the one who takes. Jk, taken.

Three Facts:

I am huge on milk-drinking. So much milk. All the time. If they served milk in bars, I would go.

I have no self-esteem. That makes my life goals (voice acting!) functionally irrelevant, so I’ve settled for trying to make the people around me happy. what must be done I’m also good at pulling people out of the way of cars! College is a crazy time.

I tend to learn a lot of things on a shallow level, just functionally enough to make a skill work for me, but also love shortcuts. It’s a side-effect of setting goals that I can’t reach, then failing to reach them. Along the way, I pick up some knowledge. So, I know several different programming languages, After Effects, Sony Vegas, Photoshop/Illustrator, Audition, Audacity, Blender, most of the Office Suite, etc. Because I don’t usually need the fancier gadgets, I prefer older software, because it’s cheaper. I still use Adobe Suite CS1/2 for most things. That was a long one.

2. Experience. ]]

Length: Text-based roleplay, should be over 9 years now. Roleplay in general ( hark, D&D 3.5 ) is more in the range of 10-11 years. Platforms: Skype, Tumblr, Forums, Omegle and other chat-based systems Best Experience: There’s a lady named Deen who basically taught me everything I know. Not really, but she’s functionally the person who taught me how not to be a little prick. That said, every forum I’ve ever been on has generally decided I’m toxic or shut down or both - in fact, there’s one that to this day blames me for closing down as a loose cannon renegade hell bent on the site’s destruction. So, eh. Not really any ‘best experiences’, though many memorable ones! Some, of course, with people here! My Kalista thread was super memorable.

3. Muse Preference. ]]

Female or Male: No preference. I tend to prefer female characters in tabletops, because they’re often grossly underrepresented caricatures. My main muse here is technically either at any given point and, although I know it makes some people squeamish, my first forum muse’s hallmark thing was that he was a trap. I was 12 and thought it was amusing. By 17, that was an actual serious plot point deconstruction with far-reaching implications and pages of background. Fun.

Multi or Single: This is a thing that is purely Tumblr based tbh. I didn’t know Multi was a thing until I started here a year ago. I don’t really have a preference, but None is kind of special-case-syndrome so. multiship but singleverse what a bitch. Having said that, I’ve found that focusing on romantic developments can often be... disappointing. Everyone’s got their thing, and I tend to find that partners who are of high quality tend to be slow to reply and busy with life and that can slow paces down to a literal crawl. Less so on Tumblr but idk.

I’ve been doing a side rp for... 2 years. With characters that are meant to get together. I changed my character up and changed their gender because my partner and I were like ‘ship.’ Great. It’s been 2 years and we’re still on week... 10, maybe. Lots of time skip involved. They still hate each other. Crap.

4. Writing Preferences. ]]

Fluff, Angst, Smut: Any. Goodness though, smut can make me uncomfy with the wrong person. You ever feel disrespected as a writer by the way someone writes with you/regards your character? Yuck. I tend to keep my smut in an anonymous bin in the corner. ANGST IS WHERE IT’S AT THOUGH. Holla. Fluff is equivalently nice, but I’m built for conflict. Plots or Memes: Another ‘Tumblr only’ thing for me. The fuck is a meme. Despite that, I don’t do plots either. I just make a solid start or a theme and let things go where they’ll go, so no preference. I think memes are great though! A great starting point, especially if you’re not huge into plots like me. I tend to get disappointed when a plot doesn’t reach completion. Long or Short: Well, I once had a special technique literally named ‘Wall of Text’ and get recognized on different forums for post length, so you tell me. I envy people who can be concise. Try as I might, introspective, descriptive, whatever style I take, it’s always a lot of text. Woops. That said, writing too much still wears me out. I write as much as I want until I feel like I’ve done my part, then stop. Best Time to Write: 4 am. Lunch breaks. Whenever I have time, lately. Angst is best done at night. Fluff is best done in evenings. Smut is best done when I don’t have to explain to anyone why my face looks like a tomato. Am I like my muse: It’s a self-insert from 9 years ago. So yeah, a little. Less sociopathic. That’s my dirty little secret though.

Tagged By: I steal things for fun. Tagging: @sequesteredxsolace and @bxhl and @of-deception-and-perfection and whoever else I’m trying to think of who has/hasn’t done this though.

#About Dummy #I have many thoughts and not enough places to put them basically!#I can never answer anything simply I always feel the need to say too much #as evidenced by my answers for this meme #honestly I wouldn't be bothered with pronouns in person if it didn't bother the heck out of everyone else #people get seriously butthurt about them like... chill it's no thing

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havsgast · 8 years ago

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idk some random thoughts about my early teenage years/relation to my parents under the cut

dates are not my strong side because i always refer to 2012 or 2007 when i tell stories, so this is not gonna be time accurate or anything

i don’t share dad with my brothers - their dad is 11 yrs older than mum and had been in my life since i was 1. but his and mum’s relationship was not good after my youngest brother was born (in 2003).

my former step-dad had to be called on the house phone when it was dinner, and he still missed it. he was jobless, and spent his days locked inside his office, barely dressed and on the computer. i have a horrible memory of seeing him naked once because he had forgotten a towel, and he was standing up in the bathtub when i brought it to him.

anyway i don’t wanna talk about him. he makes me uncomfortable. there’s a children’s song that he used to sing so often that it triggers me when i hear it.

point is that when i was ~12 he and mum got a divorce and it was really ugly. it was so ugly, and me being the only kid that did not have to live in that situation, was forced to live with my dad after a while, first only weekends and then during the weeks as well.

then 7th grade came, and the aftermath of the divorce was ugly, and most of my friends changed schools, and i was still at dad a lot, but mum had gotten a boyfriend whose leg was burned and that had a daughter

i made a new friend in my class, but we were not really alike. she liked sports and wanted to go into the military. one of the things we did together was to basically go onto omegle and play catfish. she helped dress me up - because she didn’t want to be in front of the camera - and while the people we talked to were disgusting, i thrived on the comments. we got a joint msn to continue talking to people for fun.

and i just went downward from there. my home life was a mess, mum dealing with her horrible ex-husband, and how it affected my brothers, and herself, and her boyfriend who had a bit of a mess of his own.

so obviously i wanted attention and found an easy way to get it. overweight teenage girls, what an easy bait for old men.

i’m not gonna get into that because it makes me feel disgusting.

anyway so my mental health obviously sucked as well. 7th and 8th grade were not good for me. it’s a wonder that i didn’t fail PE one year, because I literally didn’t go to a single class. but enough about my grades - there were bigger problems. when my mental health goes bad, i start throwing up. can’t keep anything down. so i slowly stopped eating. it was not an eating disorder, it was just me being sick of being unable to eat.

i’m just gonna summarise 7th-9th grade a bit

bad mental health. had to go talk to a person because mum thought her divorce was affecting me, and well, it was. threw up a lot. went vegetarian actually, though it was hard to keep up at home. got my first girlfriend during 9th grade, fun that. but the most important thing is that i had my mum’s boyfriend pick me up from my dad’s because i just couldn’t be there any more

it was after that - because i was suicidal and realised that i needed help - that i showed mum a blog post i had written about the messed up things i had done for attention. by that point i had deleted the msn and i think the webcam was broken.

mum cried and i cried and i had my hair dyed black back then and it was horrible and i didn’t have a single name to give the police

so mum started sending my brothers to a foster family on weekends to get more time with me, and we started going to the children psychiatry because i was a suicidal mess who couldn’t keep down food

the greatest betrayal ever was when mum printed out that blog post and let my dad read it, and i will always hate her for that, because it was my story to tell and i did not want my dad to know - i did not want contact with him

the point is - because i do have one - that as we were meeting psychiatrists for my sake, my dad was also there, and he suggested that they test me for asperger because i hadn’t been very social when i was at his place. lil teenage me was so insulted, and mum only wanted my best, so we said no and stopped going to bup as it was called. i obviously hated bup with my everything at that time of my life.

then fastforward to my relationship of mum in my later teens/as an adult

she regrets not having me tested back then. she blames my genderfluidity on autism. she thinks i’m bipolar, but when i have emotional responses she doesn’t agree with, she calls me childish. she has gotten upset with me for my anxiety, and still called me brave for talking about it in front of my class.

and she loves to make comments like “it’s so obvious that you’re autistic” when i take certain things literally. she seem to think that because my brother and her new husband and her best friend all have asperger, she’s some kind of expert.

not to mention that she don’t believe in asexuality or relationships without sexual attraction or that long distance relationships can work (i’ve only ever had long distance relationships), or that she’s a racist transphobe. i’m not sure she even remembers that i’m not straight.

so yeah.

this is kinda why i’m trying to enforce positive thinking along “new year, new me”

because i’m done dealing with the remains of my past, and i’m tired of being seen as possible diagnoses instead of a person by my own mother

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rendiing-archived · 8 years ago

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can i send u my URL

send me a url or something. | accepting. ↳ @dsciplined.

Do I Follow Them?:

OH BOY. OH BOY. LET ME TELL Y’ALL ABOUT MIRI.

So I started following Miri back on one of the many, many iterations of my McCoy blog; he was writing Legolas at the time, and I was bowled over by how beautifully he wrote him, how nuanced and well-crafted his interpretation of the character was. I was so shy, and felt so overwhelmed by how wonderfully he wrote, in fact, that I couldn’t even approach him for ages. We didn’t start talking until I made a not-so-sneaky sneaky promo that I tagged him in in a really embarrassing ‘pls notice me senpai’ kind of way, and he did, in fact, notice me, and I FANBOY’D ALL OVER THE PLACE and it was really embarrassing. We still didn’t talk much at that point; it wasn’t until a bit later that we actually got to talking --- I held a little ‘event’ type thing where I invited everyone to come find me anonymously on Omegle so that any of my followers could approach me without any fear of me knowing who they were, and discuss whatever they wanted to with me. One of those people turned out to be Miri, and we talked for ages about things we’d had no idea up to that point that we had in common. One of which, funnily enough, was the Lego Movie; and from there, we actually made blogs together with the intention of shipping the muses, and honestly, the closer our muses got, the closer we did too -- until one day, during a vacation I was on, I’ll never forget it. I was sitting in the back of a car, squeezed between two other people, texting him -- I was goofing off and taking pictures, and he sent one back of him laying in bed. He’d just woken up and he was still tucked in, and he was laying there in the morning light and I realized, right in that instant, that I wanted to wake up to that face literally every day for the rest of my life. We’ve been pretty inseparable since. So, uh --- ahem. To answer the question, I’ve been following him for over three years, and I’d follow him to the ends of the earth, to the sawed off edge of time, and beyond.

Why Did I Follow Them?:

Miri has a knack for worldbuilding that honestly just goes beyond words; he fills in the gaps in the universe that I didn’t even know existed, weaving canon and headcanons together so seamlessly that I don’t know where one ends and the other begins. He makes worlds feel more whole, and he has a voracious desire to flesh out the details that really make it seem like the universe he’s writing in is every bit as complex as our own --- he takes what little there is, and spins it into tales so beautiful I could cry. There’s never that odd feeling of writing in a vacuum when writing with Miri, because he makes sure that the settings feel realistic; that it’s never just two characters walking and talking, but reminds you that there is a whole universe happening around them, that there are officers going about their duties, that there are merchants selling wares, that there are people clambering for lunch, that somewhere, the sun is shining, and flowers are growing. It adds a feeling of realism that is beyond refreshing. His writing is like poetry, and he uses words expertly, wields each one with a skill that speaks to years of experience, and a confidence with the written words that I admire more than I can say. He drives me to always be a better version of myself; to always work to write better, to try harder to think outside of my character, and my character alone, and to remember that there’s a whole, wide universe out there, and I love every moment of writing with him. Nothing makes me happier than being able to bear witness to the creation process of the scenes he breathes life into. There’s honestly nothing like it.

Do We Role Play?:

I literally leap at every chance possible to write with him; because of time constraints, we don’t write much on Tumblr, but we’re always tossing something back and forth together away from here, and I love every minute of it, honestly.

Do I Want To Role Play With Them:

LMAO, DO I BABE? DO I?

An AU Idea For Our Muses:

A concept; an old gods AU where Hux is the firebrand that was Persephone, blooming flowers in his wake, a wreath of thorns and petals wreathing his head, an invitation and warning all in one, and Kylo is the dark-eyed wraith that was Hades, watching, wanting, all snow-chill and barren branches, red, red fruit held out in offering, the only gift he has to give, the only fruit Hux has never tasted.

A Song For Our Muses:

meet me on the battlefield || svrcina

we carry on through the storm,tired soldiers in this war.remember what we’re fighting for.meet me on the battlefield;even on the darkest night,i will be your sword and shield,your camouflage,and you will be mine.

Do I Ship Our Muses?:

screams incoherently for a few years

No, but in all seriousness, my Kylo was built so heavily around Miri’s Hux that the two are inseparable in my mind; my ‘canon’ Kylo will always be the one in which he has known and grown with Miri’s Hux. They’ve gone through so much together, and we’ve poured so much love into them, and into figuring out how they fit together, what works, and what doesn’t. They still struggle to get it right sometimes, and so do we, but that’s part of what makes them so dynamic, and why I love them so much, why it’s so hard to imagine my Kylo without his Hux --- they just fit.

What I Think About The Mun:

Miri is my everything. He’s --- I’m getting emotional trying to even begin to think of all the things I want to say here, how much he means to me. There just aren’t enough words. I’ve had him in my life for three wonderful years, and I honestly want to spend the rest of my life with him. He’s brilliant, he’s witty, he’s charming, he’s gorgeous beyond words. He’s understanding and kind, he’s always supportive, he’s strong when I can’t be, and he’s always willing to sit down and talk things out with me. He’s always there for me when I need him. He gives the best hugs, and he’s quick to remind me of my worth, even on days when I struggle to believe even him. He drives me to be a better person than who I have been, because I want to be --- because he inspires me to want to be. Where he goes in life, I want to be there; I want to be at his side, always, supporting him, cheering him on, the same way he’s done for me for the last three years. He’s incomparable, irreplaceable. I love him. I really, truly do. I hope to marry him someday. I --- okay, I’m tearing up a little so I guess I shouldn’t write much more, but I just. I love him. And I look forward to the day when we can be together all the time, when we won’t have to make trips, and cry in airports, and say goodbye. I can’t wait to wake up to him every morning. I can’t wait to cuddle with him and have tea in chipped mugs, and apologize every time he sneezes because he’s allergic to our cat(s). I would give --- anything in the world to see him smiling. To be with him right this instant. I love him.

I love you, Miri.

Overall Opinion:

Blog Rate:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 Everyone else just go home, no one is better than my Miri.

#dsciplined #( datapad; sent messages. | answered. )#long post #[cries a whole lot on you #i love you so much #in case you guys didn't know #i'm a big gay #and i love my fiance so much]

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survivorathena-allstars · 7 years ago

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Episode #9: “I Don't Want to Play Duck Duck Goose Anymore; It's Time to Play All Stars” ~ Emily

WE MADE MERGE BABY

I just PM'd everyone from the other tribe I am SO happy for merge. This came at the perfect time! Now I just have to make sure I win immunity and hopefully get pulled into an alliance or something. I don't even know who I want to WORK WITH!! But I'm glad that there is a possibility to get numbers. Seriously I don't think I've ever PM'd so many people at a merge before, I usually wait for people to come to me but NOT TODAY BUCKAROOS. it's time to show that i can be a social queen and get myself out of some sticky situations that could be coming my way with the old ata la la la la de dah tribe.

Merge! Woo! We are going into this merge split 6-6 even for tribal lines on both original tribes and swap tribes, which is kind of incredible. I don't know who I want to trust. I just know that if ruthie was willing to vote Lily before, she'll do it again. And that's the tea.

i'm bad at naming things um I DON'T KNOW BUT I NEED TO BE QUIET I'M SPILLING WAY TOO MUCH TO THESE PEOPLE AT THIS MERGE PARTY. I'm about to let it slip to Will that my old tribe has an alliance 0:)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO WE FUCKING MERGED!!!! LETS DO THIS YALL!!!! Okay, so here's the status of things. Obviously, I'm glad to be united with a few people again, but I'm already starting to form a potential boot order in my head. It clearly won't work this way for real, but there are a few people that I don't want to see getting much further. Ali is definitely one of them, for two main reasons. First of all, he's a challenge beast that is not at all to be doubted, and if he went on an immunity streak, it could throw not just a wrench, but an entire toolbox into the rest of my game. So he's got to go for that alone. But also, he's being so unreasonably bitter? Apparently, this doesn't apply to just him, but Emily and Owen both said that he was refusing to talk to them because of their challenge performance. Y'know, the challenge that was an entire day ago. You really would think they'd be a BIT less bitter at this point, but alas... apparently not. Dana and Will could be logical next boots after that, along with Ashvika. Not sure about that order, though. And... As much as I love Cameron, I don't know if I'd want to work with him. Every time I work with him, it never ends up going right, and he betrays me by relaying information to another alliance, never voting with me, or something of the sort. So he might be on that list earlier than my out-of-game self would want. Kevin could also be a boot opportunity early on, as his paranoia is so hard to deal with, and it makes him as unpredictable as going on Omegle's video mode. I don't know where I stand on Ruthie, though. It's hard to put an accurate gauge on where I want her in this game, as she could possibly be brought onto my side as an ally, but the Autumn vote may have ruined that. So I'll have to let that sit for a while. Ideal F3 (if it IS F3) is me, Emily (hehe), and Zach. Ideal F2 is me and Emily (duh <3). Ideal F1 is me.

I'm so sad about Jack going I'm like really sad. I miss him wtf I wouldn't have done him so dirty BRING BACK JACK 2K18

Merge time means tea time, which means everyone gets a little too comfortable and says things they shouldn't! I love how Ruthie is so willing to throw the other tribe under the bus and flip to our side, we LOVE a queen and we LOVE a Will warrior like her. Owen....idk what you were thinking siding with Emily and Lily when you had literally the perfect opportunity to take them out but ok work. Like I genuinely don't care if y'all felt bad for Lily feeling left out, that's the game we're playing. You need to check your feelings at the door or you will not win this game. As far as I'm concerned, Lily or Emily is next to go - whoever doesn't win immunity is gonna be gone. A good split vote will work there too just in case of an idol, but it's time to cut the threats loose and let the non-recruits take control. Sorry about it! ________________________________________________________________ And when I tell people it's gonna be a bloodbath, know that I'm not gonna be the one bleeding - I'll be the one left standing.

Okay merge time! Lots to confess on! Firstly, I am so ready for Sandra Diashvika Twine winning again, like wooOoOoOO! Otherwise, I am..... conflicted about who I wanna work with from atalaia. The majority on their tribe was Emily/Owen/Zach as a core group, with Lily and Kevin as 4th and 5th and Ruthie firmly in the minority. I definitely want to work with Ruthie, she clicks well into our group since she is a self proclaimed Will Warrior. The issue is however that I don't know if I can then work with Ruthie and then also Zach/Owen/Emily, because that leaves us with voting out Kevin which I don't think I necessarily want to do and Lily who I do want to go, but I don't know if Emily will. With that said, I think my goal boot order for the merge going forward would be: 12th = Lily 11th to 9th = Preferably maybe Zach > Emily > Owen as an order? That gives us a top 8 of the six from Loronha + Ruthie/Kevin. That might then (unfortunately) be the opportunity to turn on Cameron/Dana/Will as right now I feel like I'm probably number four in that alliance? I wanna really assess that because I do feel good about going really far with Dana,Cameron and Will provided I'm not just the clear cut 4th in that alliance. AHH, we will see eek. I think the four immediate targets should be Lily 1st, then Emily,Owen & Zach. The issue is however, is like a fool, Emily knows about my alliance, so if I do want to get her out, it needs to be a _major_ blindside, so if Lily wins immunity, maybe Emily needs to go? I love murdering my own children

merge!!!! thank god i was not going to survive another round in that tribe so i'm reunited with my favs Cameron and duncan. i just went on a call with dunc and received a PIPING cup of a tea from him: 1. first of all i spilled the beans to him on what happened at our tribe pretty much instantly. i also spilled the beans to will because keeping a secret to myself? not familiar with that concept #RatsOnly 2. apparently i played in lazio with duncan and he was bitter at me for 3 months??? skdkdkd 3. duncan and i want to be a #dynamicduo bc we think no one would expect it and since we haven't actually been on a tribe together we'll have different connections which will allow us to get more info and do stuff with that 4. duncan has a treehouse hideout thing which allows him to skip a tribal up until f10. also Cameron has an idol??? okay 5. some BITCHES on LORANHA apparently threw my name and lily's name out as easy merge boots. which is honestly realistic bc i haven't been in any alliance so i'm like the hali of this game but not as hot. but like...am i a threat??? neaux sir. i couldn't hear what duncan was saying but i think he said Cameron threw my name out???? not sure. whoever it is is a RAT. duncan suggested voting out ruthie instead which will like be chill i guess. anyways i need to try hard in immunity i guess

Owen snatched immunity before I could even get started

I'm a flop hi! I'm confessing I'm being a good castaway I promise! I did like twenty puzzles in total which took maybe a total of three hours... I fucking hate puzzles. But of course Owen won. He's here to PLAY. I'm just really concerned for Lily and I at this point. I KNOW that people are going to target us at some point because they've already started? I think people are just coming for my friends like Madison? Gone. Jack? Gone. Lily? Almost gone thank god we saved her in that tie revote. I dont understand??? Don't come for my boys tho. Protect Ali, Zach, and Duncan AT ALL COSTS!!! Also I have no clue why I have such a HARD ASS TIME trusting Owen? Like there's just.... I CAN'T TRUST HIM! He's proven to me time and time again that he's trustworthy but for some reason... HE'S NOT! I'm just happy to be back with Ali and Duncan though because like... I trust them a whole whole lot. A whole lot. And they have powers! Duncan has that hideaway he needs to use soon and he also has an idol. Ali has an idol. Also me thinking back to that idol that Ali and I didn't get after having to be quiet in the time chat for forever... I think Will has it. Sneaky sneaky snake that Will. I love him, but he's a SNAKE!!! OH speak of the devil he just messaged me fdjkfjaksdfa I LOVE WILL I PROMISE I just haven't gotten to be on a tribe with him yet and like I don't know where his head is at or his allegiances and stuff. Also Zach hasn't talked to me in a while and I DON'T WANT HIM TO ABANDON ME I love Zach!! And I literally wanna go to final three with him!!! Heck!! talk TO ME also I don't buy that not talking in the tribe chat is like ... only a disadvantage. I played this game before BUDDY!!! It got me nothing but I think it's gonna get him something so fajsdkfjasdkf UGH anyways I'm gonna go get Greek food this is the end of my confessional bye

Checking in as the worst player in all stars. I am mad at myself because I'm literally making all the same mistakes and am in this messy spiral that I can't get out of. Emily knows about my idol, which gets tricky for voting out her or Lily, Duncan knows *everything* including too much I said about Cameron, when I was still assessing whether to work with him and I've just boxed myself into a tricky spot. I'm literally making the same mistakes, like I'm just bad at this and it makes me so sad. I'm gonna get dragged to the end as a goat again and that makes me so sad, ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I wanted to rewrite my Athena experience, but instead of playing a terrible game without realising like last time, I am playing an even worse game but this time i can tell and it makes me sad. I cant wait to be dragged to the end as a goat again, this is gonna like crush my self-esteem even further into the swamp ajlfkajldfk. god I hate myself, and these games makes it so much worse

Ladies... we merged! I am honestly so happy I made merge, and that's my first of three goals, the other two being jury and 100 days. I really like everyone on our tribe. Like there's people who I worked with and will continue to work with, such as Emily and Owen, then there are people who I haven't worked with, that i'm excited and hopeful to work with, such as Dana, Cameron and Will. Overall everyone's great! There's only a few people who'd I enjoy seeing leave. Kevin - we don't have a superior connection. Sure, he's friendly and nice, but compared to my other conversations it's just... dull. Sweet kid though. Lily - I like Lily and would love to work with her, but she's close with Emily, has many advantages and similarly to Kevin, we just don't connect. Duncan is fine too. I like him and would love to work with him, and Dana said there's beef between him and Will so keeping them both in the game keeps us under the radar. Ashvika's a queen, and I love her. Ruthie's sweet but also like kind of AFK. Ali? A legend. If I had to, right now, predict a final three, it'd be: Ali, Will, and either Ruthie/Dana. We'll see how wrong I am sometime!! WOOH!! Also i can't talk in chats right now i'm so sad.

I'm.... literally the worst player left I'm screeching. Everyone is talking strategy and like I'm very out of it, like its interesting seeing Zach say (admittedly it wasn't exactly shocking) that he is close with Emily and Owen, as well as Dana & Cameron. Like... that's a lot of people, when me/Zach/Emily were a three person alliance, like.... yikes. Anyways, I am trying to see where I stand rn. I think I am still number four in the Dana/Will/Cameron/I alliance, so I'm thinking if I can get down to the nitty gritty with Ashvika/Duncan like that's actually a solid workable opportunity. I think I'd like to go to F5 with Ashvika/Duncan/Kevin/Ruthie? I just like the sound of that, and then I can figure it out from there... We will see I think I really want Lily out this vote, and then just one of the extended numbers for my L.A.W.D alliance, just so they can't flip away from me. I just feel really uncertain right now, so I wanna start eliminating numbers that are gonna cause issues for me, and Lily is the prime target for that. I really feel like I'm the worst player in the game and wanna try and resolve that somehow, but like... you can't fix a player as terrible as me hsjkdfajsdfa ________________________________________________________________ Who is ready for ali the goat the sequel! I sure am ________________________________________________________________ me: cries about telling too many people about my idol me: tells two more people making the number of people that know now equal 6 but its fun, and the aim of these games is to have fun and leaving sad confessionals isn't good, so lets just have fun with it.

Honestly, please self-vote out of this game if you're "close with Emily." If i have to hear that phrase one more time I WILL choke. Stop playing this game like you're close with Emily because unless you're me NEWS FLASH LADIES you're close with Emily!!! Her name is literally starting to sound weird to me because I'm hearing it so much. Like am I jealous of her? YOU BET. How do I make my mist as strong as Emily. I am sick of pacifying miss Emily. Ok on another note, my main bff Ali Bee told me he HAS THE IDOL that I told everyone Lily has and honestly im wigged. I'm so happy he has the idol. Also Cameron told me that someone good had an idol the other day, and I confirmed tonigt that this person he told me about was Ali so yee we love tea! The other good thing about that all going down as it did, is that later down the line (assuming I don't get murdered) I can be like "Will Ali and Cameron are vv close, Cameron got idol tea before us!!!" and use that as leverage. Right now apparently all the names out there are Ali, Lily, Ruthie, and Kevin. Owen, I just don't trust, and I really tried to sell my loyalty to him on call and if Owen were 5% less smart he probably would have bought it. I delivered an outstanding an emotionally confusing performance tonight and she deserves recognition. Also I would like to thank everyone for nominating me for the role of village idiot of the season. It means a lot to me accepting this award. I'd like to thank Cameron for helping me really sell it to the people that i'm an illiterate meme just looking 4 a home amongst all these intimidating players I can't keep up with. Like UTR whommmm. Me? It's unlikely but apparently also working. Like i don't want people thinking it's worth their time to vote miss me out of this game when all the scary smart people are around. Keep me around for jokes and fake drama pls.

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this was like before immunity results were even posted ________________________________________________________________

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Alright team, here's the deal: merge boot, it can either be simple or it can be a mess. And this time it's gonna be a grade A mess. We have 6 people from each of the swapped tribes, and 6 people from each of the starting tribes, which means there's a whole messy web of connections between everyone going every which way. I have my core four of me, Ali, Cameron, and Dana (which has an even stronger core of just me and Dana) and we have connections with Duncan and Ashvika (the Loronha squad/Charlotte's Angels), with Owen (from the Elaenia days), with Zach (our cracked king) and with Emily (because who the fuck isn't connected with Emily). The thing is, EmiLily NEEDS to get broken up and everyone knows it, but we have people literally saying they won't vote Emily out until F5 but....guess what? If we let her get that far, she's LITERALLY GOING TO WIN like are you KIDDING ME. So since nobody wants to vote out Emily right now, and we need to break up that duo, the obvious target is Lily. But again, people are SO worried about burning Emily as a potential ally that they won't vote Lily. Like honestly props to Emily for literally smothering everyone with her mist to the point where they won't even try to play the fucking game anymore. We can't just vote out the outsiders forever, like we're at a point where the only "easy vote" left is Kevin (sorry king) and, according to some people, Ruthie (love u queen) - but the thing is, why would you take out an easy vote NOW when you have a chance to take a shot at a big threat? And honestly, I don't even know if Lily is really a threat to win this game since she doesn't speak to anyone when it isn't right before tribal so like....I'm talking about taking a shot at Emily by taking out Lily. If you wanna overthrow the queen, you have to take down her loyal aide first. Dana, Cameron, Ali, and Ruthie are the only people that seem to have completely detached themselves from the idea that "we need to play with our friends and we need to go for the easy votes" because let's see... what happens at F10 when you've taken out Ruthie/Kevin and all your "friends" are left? It's Survivor, you have to burn someone at some point. If you don't burn someone else, you're the one getting burned. I think I can convince Owen that it's better for his game to burn just Emily than to burn all three of me, Cameron, and Dana but... I really don't know. I love Zach but if he's saying he won't vote out Emily until F5.... then do you really deserve to be playing this game? If the jury really does start tonight, I also need to start playing a selfish game and figure out how I can get these people that we're gonna be voting out to vote for me. I have a lot of plans and big ideas, but I don't know for sure if or how they're gonna work. Right now we need to get at least one or two people onboard with voting out Lily...like that is going to happen tonight I am going to make sure she goes home.

Tag yourself I’m me exposing my whole friend group as friends but not including myself as a part of it #wig I love strategy!!!!!! No I don’t I’m just stupid

Everyone's so fucking dumb they act as if there aren't only 12 people on this tribe (10 technically since Lily never speaks to anyone apparently and nobody knows who Kevin is) like you can't be like "omg I only heard it was Ruthie" and not expect that I already heard your plan to divert from Lily going home by throwing Ruthie's name out there like what the fuck lmao

Okay so yesterday the options for voting were like Ruthie Lily and Kevin. I did not want to vote any of these people because I wanted to work/reconnect with the first two and the third person is me. BUT it appears the options are Ruthie and me so...my hand's been forced. I wanted to try reconnecting with Ruthie after that last tribal but I guess not hm. If I survive this tribal it'll be the third tribal in a row I've received votes so that'll be cute! I don't know who the source of my name is, I don't know if I want to know but I'd appreciate the information so I don't go rattling all my secrets to my own killer!! Wish me luck!!! :,)

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DUNCAN WHAT THE HECK WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO VOTE ME OUT??? WHY ARE YOU THE ONE PUSHING ME, I DO NOT GET IT, WHY???

Everyone is being super shady rn I don’t understand who started with wanting ruthie out but I don’t trust lily and I’m working on flipping the vote that way. Also wHY is everyone so concerned about defying Emily?? People wouldn’t be down to vote Emily rn so it’s imperative we vote out lily bc they’re close

If anything, the way people are acting about this vote is VERY telling about how they're playing this game and a lot of people? Aren't playing very good games. Shame, isn't it?

yeah so....this is a lot. a lot a lot. A LOT. First of all, when we merged let me just say I was so happy to be with that whole other tribe again. DUNCAN AND ASHVIKA and I? legends only. Ali? A king. BUT MY TRU BBYS DANA WILL AND Cameron??? A++++++++++++++++++++++ holy SHOOT. I love everyone in this game and it's so nice to be working with those people again. I had some explaining to do about the tied vote and the autumn vote....so that was fun. idk. the real fun started later. first of second of all, the fucking immunity challenge. ruthie and I were talking before it got posted and I was like hahaha I hope it's a puzzle!!!!! hahahaahahahahahahahaHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA man i rlly fucked up with that wish, huh? :') puzzles are my thing so when I saw it was puzzle comp I was like YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! it was my time to shine. well.... :) hehe :) be careful what you wish for in the athena series, folks, bc this genie is a savage :') i came into the comp just wanting to be cute. i wanted a fun time and all I got? cramps. and FATIGUE. and torture. i was so paranoid ali or emily would stay up all night doing them but seems like was the only one truly crazy enough to ignore the fact that I had school starting the next day fakjsfjk but oh well. a win is a win, and the further I went the more I told myself that if I didnt win all the work would be for nothing. SO I DID IT! second of second of all, boy has this tribe gone to shit. lets get all the he said she said out of the way first. so I went on call with Duncan, he said he didnt wanna do Kevin and didnt wanna piss emily off so he landed on ruthie. he wants ruthie gone I was like ok. then i got on the call with will and he and I talked about maybe doing the easier thing like ruthie or kevin. then I get on call with will dana Cameron and,....fajskhjfk Cameron doesnt wanna do kevin or ruthie bc that's too easy. Cameron wants lily out as a move first, and I was ok with that, so were dana and will. basically like...we don't have sny reason to vote zach or ali yet, they dont wanna do emily yet, and duncan/ashvika didnt really come up as targets which left kevin ruthie and lily, the usual suspects. but then I talked to zach and he said he'd much rather do kevin. ok wig. then I talked to emily today and she wants to do kevin too. but then apparently lily found out from DUNCAN her name coulda gone around. I talk to lily aqnd first lily wants to do ali???? ok mood. but then fkasdhfkjds she was like everyone is doin ruthie. SO NOW, lily, duncan, and presumably ashvika were gonna do ruthie, emily doin ???? maybe kevin maybe ruthie, and will dana Cameron zach ruthie myself doin lily, and idk what ali's doin he told me he's thinking about going vegetarian and that's the biggest move he's told me about so far this round so fkshdfj ok ali. but like......uhg idk. ashvika doesnt want ruthie out, but ashvika apparently knows ppl are voting lily? god. GOD. third of all! some of my actual thoughts about all of this huge ass info dump..... I really really still love Dana, Will, and Cameron, but looking down the line, I am worried they will all be closer to each other than to me. They spent a lot of time together on that other tribe, and of the four of us they might pin me as a threat and kick me out. Cameron and I called privately as well and I told Cameron some additional things and he said that the other two might be a little sketched out by me rn but that if I vote with them it'll be fine. I also still....really love Will bye :'( what a king. I have talked to him a lot one on one about everything going on, and I just hope he trusts me too. It's just that of the four of us, I have a lot of the connections like outside ofour alliance (emily and lily, zach, duncan/ashvika, etc) which is GOOD FOR ME but also....playing both sides is not gonna be fun when sides come, and also I don't want them to freak out about my loyalty. I also still REALLY want to work with Zach and he might even be one of my closest allies rn as well. I don't want to be on a separate page from him. he's good. and he still really wants to work with emily too. NOW. I messaged Ali a lot about how like he might be seen as a threat down the line and that I might start to be one too and that we should have each other's backs and he agreed. He claims he doesn't think of himself as a threat and also like every time he speaks it's something about how he thinks his game is awful.... fskjdf i wish he would spend more time talking to me about his thoughts this time around and not his thoughts about how he played in emathia but! that's ok. Cameron also apparently has some tea on him....? That he didnt want to tell me.... Could Ali have an idol idk. Also it's really clear that Ali and Cameron are VERY close after that swap. But I like them both and want to move forward with both of them. I also called Emily one on one and told her the same thing - we're both gonna be threats soon, and we need each other. And I think that's true. So when I look ahead, it doesn't make sense for me to get Lily out at this vote. There's going to come a time when everyone who loves each other is gonna blow tf up and start targeting the threats. Which is why I'm trying to build mini-groups outside of my core alliance. My group with Duncan and Ashvika is good. But my group with Lily and Emily is another one. If Kevin left, then I would literally be good with so many people and they'd all be hopefully targeting each other. Emily and Lily are targets over me, Will wants Duncan out pretty bad and Duncan wants Will.... idk where Zach and Dana fit in but I love them and I don't think Zach would turn on me yet. But the closer it gets to voting, the more Will wants to do Lily, and I'm really at a crossroads here bc I don't want to make Emily mad or anything... Basically my main alliance wants Lily gone bad, which isn't necessarily bad for me but it's not best. And the people outside that alliance are split between Ruthie and Kevin and idk. If I really want to come out and say it, I could try to get dana Cameron and will to vote kevin. but they're just gonna think it's bc I wanna work with lily which is....not necessarily wrong. idk there's just a wheel that keeps spinning and I don't know when or where it's gonna stop. right now I'm thinking Lily. but how do I move forward from that? how am I going to get to the end of this game? I don't think I can unless I get to a point where I can win out. idk yall im still a mess rn but isn't that what we were all expecting dflfdk at least it wont be me. ________________________________________________________________ in other news will and I will be going as wario and waluigi for halloween so watch out

it's over luigi i'm going home tonight duncan was like "well most people have said ruthie" and that's like cool or whatever but then i'm like "well who said my name" bc i don't wanna like talk to the wrong ppl and then duncan has gone SILENT sjsjs if i survive it'll be a miracle sent from god our father

Wowowowow this is a mess. Here's how i presume the vote going down tonight.

We (oh good l.a.w.d) are trying to save ruthie and kill lily. We have us 4 plus ashvika and ruthie, which is 6. I believe owen, zach, emily, and lily will likely vote kevin. Thats 4. I think kevin and duncan will probably vote ruthie. Thats 2. Lily goes, barring further complications. Bless up.

I love starting the plan to get lily out and securing votes and then having someone else come tell me that we’re voting lily tonight!

90% of the time I have no idea what the fuck this tribe is talking about. Okay, so, picture this. It's around 6:30, I've been talking with Cameron and a few others, and what I hear is that the vote is for Ruthie. I think this is alright, and I set my phone down, diverting my attention towards the delicious tacos I prepared for myself. At 6:55-ish, I get back on Skype, and now Cameron is telling me that everyone is voting for Kevin! I don't know about y'all, but it seems a BIT suspicious that the vote would change like that in less than a half an hour with no explanation to it at all! It just feels like this is some elaborate ploy, so that people can get me distracted with these two options and just blindside me. I thought this would be unanimous, but Perhaps The Fuck Not, My Good Sirs

this is how i'm looking at everyone in this tribe rn I trust NO ONE. Cameron told me "oh yeah the majority's voting ruthie" and so did duncan and then i talk to some people to whom i say "you know i'm voting ruthie probably" and then they're like "oh okay cool haha you do you!" which is the most blatantly transparently WISHY WASHY response you could give like they'll say "well who knows what could happen" like you might as well stab me because that'd be more enjoyable than this!!! and then i talk to lily later and lily's REAL with me and she says the majority WAS to Ruthie but now it seems like everyone's voting me?? and then i talk to emily and she's like "oh the majority's voting ruthie" and i'm like WHAT RHE FUCK IS FOING ON. Cameron says he has no idea what's going on. tonight's mood is paranoia, betrayal, and utter confusion to sum up my mental state in one word...fuck

This is going to be a fun one

This is a letter put in a time capsule for Dana, Will & Cameron. I just want to confess about how much I love you three. Dana, you always describe yourself as upsetting, but in reality I think you are one of the funniest and most genuine people in this community. Your pep talk you gave me on call was so nice, and its been a pleasure to actually work with you this time alkjdfa. Will, you are TOO HARD ON YOURSELF. You put so much energy in helping me build myself up, but remain too critical of yourself. You don't realise how popular you actually are and how much time people have for you. Cameron, m'fave. I love you so much, you and Captain are the most iconic duo (I'm done waiting) and I think you are the best. anywho, soppyness over. I felt they deserved that because on call yesterday they were so nice to me and I wanted to return the favour. ________________________________________________________________ OKAY SO THIS VOTE. I.... highkey have wanted Lily to be merge boot since we merged, so this is going a way I support. Also, I am forever an Ashvika warrior, we have decided to stan forever. Right now, Me/Ashvika/Dana/Will/Cameron/Ruthie are all voting Ruthie, which is 6/12. It looks like the other 6 aren't gonna be united or one of the 6 is gonna vote with us, so it looks like Lily is going. Unfortunately, that requires upsetting Emily, so I'm trying to very delicately clue her in that Lily is in jeopardy. Its not even that I wanna lie to her, Im more just concerned about upsetting her. Its a mess! whewie whewie whew. owenlol fkasdjhfkjsdhfkjs so now like I'm confident Lily is going, Ali, Ashvika, and now Ruthie are all voting her even though Zach isn't, but it now comes down to whether or not I tell Emily and idk. I just wish Kevin could gtfo because he's not a number for me. I'm hating my life rn fskjfhjds but ! oh well! maybe I'll just vote kevin and deal with it later.

whatever it isn't the end of the world I don't think....but damn if Lily has an idol now would be the time to play it huh

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people are voting for lily apparently or something i'm too young to think this much idk

There's nothing better than playing the absolute DUMBEST when shit hits the fan, thank you Queen Dana for telling Emily it was gonna be Lily, because now Emily thinks I'm just as confused as she is. We love a good ruse.

EMILY WHY. I tried to like subtly clue you in (as did Dana) and you just sent everyone's pms everywhere askjdfafaf I love you so much but Lily is a sinking ship and you are drowning with her

But for real, Dana leaking like that accidentally and creating the last minute chaos is really an Ashley's Idol 2.0 because I may be able to lie my way through this and hold onto Emily's trust at least for one round...or so...Who knows!

I recorded both of these before the vote and I just uploaded them

youtube

I recorded another one of me going crazy but honestly it's not cute and y'all would fear for my sanity so i'm not uploading it

Lily becomes the 9th person voted out of Athena All Stars in a 8-3-1 votes. You can see Lily’s preseason interview here.

After being voted out and placed on the jury, Lily decided to walk from jury. Charlotte, being the more recently voted out player, became the first member of the jury.

#NotAllFunAndGames

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