#aspecvalentine

[fuckyeahasexual]

this is an aroace mood..... this survey from my college literally included ace as a sexual orientation but didn’t have a no relationship option that wasn’t “looking around”??? i am confusion

[ron-swansonn-blog1]

As an asexual biromantic, relationships can be scary. My ex boyfriend was bi, so he accepted and supported that part of me, but I wouldn’t say he was exactly respectful of my asexuality. That relationship scared me because I was worried that any other relationship would be similar to it: me being in uncomfortable situations, really just trying to make my partner happy. My current boyfriend (pictured) is straight, but he accepts my entire identity and tries his best to understand it all. I came out to him before we were dating, so it wasn’t as scary as it might have been if we had been in a relationship then. He doesn’t completely understand asexuality, but he does understand that I am different and that I have boundaries that may not be the same as other girls he’s been with. He makes sure I am not uncomfortable any time we are even near each other. So, to any a-spec out there worried about finding someone who is accepting: you will find them, people are more understanding and respectful than you may think, it will be ok. (Also peep my ace ring in this pic lol)

[ecofriendlyfreak]

Hi everyone! This is me and my partner @jashgenocide (and a bonus picture of them playing pokemon with my niece because they’re adorable).

We’ve been together 5 years and 4 months, and we’re planning to get married after they finish undergrad school.

I didn’t know I was asexual when we started dating. They’re decidedly not asexual. We’ve supported each other through several identity realisations.

I guess that what I want my fellow aces to know is that there are people out there (ace and allo) who will love you and respect your identity.

[wholockian221]

I've been dating this nerd for a year and 2 months and I'm ace!🐉💜❤️

[fischmitkeinemrad17]

[vanishinginthepark]

welp i guess the ace tumblr thing for valentines day is post happy pictures of ace people in relationships 

guess i have a new tag to block for the next week

[fuckyeahasexual]

This happened this morning

(context: I'm an admin in an lgbt+ account on Instagram and lately we've been swarmed by acephobes and exclusionists)

Person: "Not wanting to have sex doesn't make you lgbt+"

Me:

Me: "uh.. asexuals experience lack of sexual attraction? Some of us do have sex and even enjoy it??"

Person: "stop lying"

Me, an aroace:

[fuckyeahasexual]

Ace here,  I got a story for you:

When i met my boyfriend, I really liked him. On the first date I told him I was ace, and he was ok with it. It really surprised me, I thought any allosexual guy would back out of that. But he just asked me to tell him what I was ok with and what I didn’t want to do, and asked for permission for every move he did. Also, he asked me out for a second date. And a third. Every time we would meet up and do something, see a movie, go to the pub or he would just show me parks and nice places around (I didn’t get around much before that). We talked, held hands, after! asking for permission we kissed, we just had a nice time together. That’s how our relationship started. After one month, I moved to go see my family for the summer and go to uni afterwards, so we knew it would be a long distance relationship, but we still wanted to do that. When he visited me, we slept cuddled up to each other, and he did never invade my private space. I slowly started to be ok with more things, we started making out instead of little kisses, and after 8 months of relationship, we had sex, which was alright for me. I don’t need it, but it feels nice being close to him and it means a lot to him. It was a big step, and I would never with anyone else, but with him it was a good experience. I really love him, and not once did he make me uncomfortable or tried to push me like other guys tried before (he was the first to ever get a second date). He gave me the thing I needed most: patience, safety, trust and unconditional love. If you find someone who will give you those things, it will be beautiful. We will have our first anniversary soon, and I am really happy in my relationship, and looking back it is weird that I never thought this possible.

[fuckyeahasexual]

#AspecValentine

FuckYeahAsexual is hosting a submission-based asexual Valentine’s event!

One of the persistent worries and accusations of the ace experience is the claim that the dating world is antagonistic, and that aces have very little chance in finding a respectable partner. Although we may know it be untrue, sometimes it can be hard to believe that we have just as much of a chance as anybody else to be in a long-lasting relationship.

So we’re calling all aces/aros who are in a relationship! Please send us your stories and your photos of you, and your partner(s)! Lets reach out to all those who’re scared and stressed about their future.

You can submit either through our submit box, or by tagging your photos/text with the tag #AspecValentine!

We’ll be accepting submissions from Feb 5th through Feb 15th!

[fuckyeahasexual]

At the beginning of last semester, as my friends settled into happy relationships, I felt certain that my asexuality made me undateable. I had a number of anxieties surrounding my relationship status, not least of which was that my fellow college students would be totally unwilling to date an asexual girl. I though I’d be alone forever.

Then I met Steph.

Steph came into my life with a shock of bright blue hair, which was the first thing I noticed about her. She was witty and sweet from our very first conversation. She knew about my asexuality, and that didn’t bother her. We started dating three months ago, when she asked me, after inquiring about food allergies, whether or not I would be allergic to being her girlfriend (she’s a dork, I know).

She’s an amazing vlogger, a Clone Wars fan, a cat lover. She’s perfect. I love holding her hand and reading Harry Potter out loud to her. I love watching cartoons with her. I love making YouTube videos with her. Every day, I’m so grateful that I met her.

Steph, you are my starlight. Thank you for accepting a space ace like me ^_^ 🌟

-Anneliese ( @elvenelegy)

[fuckyeahasexual]

Hi! Here is my submission for Ace Valentines Day. Below is my ace love story and a message for any aces out there who need some love.

—

My name is Nina, I am asexual, and I have been in a committed relationship with an allosexual person for 6 wonderful years.

I’ve always known there was something different about my relationship with sex, but for most of my life, I had no idea what that difference was. I just kind of assumed I was weird and nerdy. About 2 years into my current relationship, I discovered asexuality. I now consider this time a revolution, and awakening of my true self, but at the time, it was devastating. It wasn’t easy to come to terms with the fact that I couldn’t give my partner what they wanted, and for a long time, I felt ashamed of myself for not being like everyone else. I couldn’t even say the word asexual without crying with shame, because I just couldn’t come to terms with who I was. It took time for me to accept myself as ace, and to discover just what that meant for me, but with the help of an incredible friend, my partner, and my own damn strength, I got there. Now, I am proud of what I am. I understand that I AM weird and nerdy, but I’m also awesome, and my orientation is a special part of me.

My partner was a HUGE support to me while I was coming to terms with who I am. When I first told him I thought I was ace, I was terrified that he would leave me. I remember sobbing in the car with him…I loved him so much and I hated myself for not wanting sex like he did, like EVERYONE did. I was so scared that my lack of sex-drive meant that somehow, I didn’t love him, even though I thought that I really did. But you know what happened? I told him everything, all my questions and fears. And he listened. He heard me. And time and time again during the ups and downs of that process he was there when I needed to talk out how I was feeling, he validated by existence when I felt erased by the media, by my friends, by everything around me. We communicated about what we both needed, and about how we both felt about each other.

It wasn’t always simple, and sometimes, he accidentally said the wrong thing. Sometimes, when he asked for sex it would send me spiraling into self-loathing, because I just didn’t understand why I didn’t want what he wanted. But every time I said no, he always respected my boundaries and that was key. We talked and talked and struggled through the uncharted waters of our new situation, and eventually, we became comfortable with our new relationship. Now, there is an unspoken rule between us that any sexual contact will ALWAYS be initiated by me. If he asks and I say “no”, that is the end of it. And we are still intimate! Remember, there are a MILLION ways to be intimate with someone you love that DON’T INVOLVE SEX! We kiss each other all over, we hug, hold hands, cuddle and talk for hours, we touch each other’s bodies with loving hands, and tell each other that we are beautiful. We share blankets, play-wrestle, give massages and take baths together. We find our own ways to be close. I can honestly say I have the most intimate relationship with my partner that I’ve ever had with anyone…and we haven’t had sex in months (literally can’t remember the last time lol). 

The fact of the matter is this: sex is definitely important to a lot of allosexual people, and that’s okay, BUT if someone really loves you, sex will always come second to making sure you feel safe and comfortable. If someone cannot give you that respect, love, and understanding, my friend, keep walking. You deserve so much better, and you never EVER have to play second fiddle to someone’s sex-drive. 

To each and every one of you who doubts themselves, hates themselves, and thinks they will never find love, fight that fear, fight that loathing. You are not broken. You are so worthy! Worthy of love, of respect, of self-confidence. You are not a dork, you are so cool! You are not a prude, you are just not sexual. Being a virgin does not make you less than anyone else, and being an ace who has (or has had) sex does not make you any less ace! If you don’t like to kiss, then you don’t have to kiss anyone. If you don’t feel comfortable with physical contact, then you don’t have to have that! You do NOT have to put your needs second to please your partner. You do NOT deserve to be treated poorly because you are different than them. Don’t listen to the media, to your friends, to your parents or ANYONE who tells you otherwise. Hold you head high, even if you don’t feel strong yet, because you ARE strong, and you WILL feel strong one day. I promise you. 

If you want romantic love in your life, do not let yourself believe that you will never find it. There are so many amazing people out there of all orientations who can and will love you. YOU DESERVE LOVE, YOU DESERVE RESPECT, YOU KICK ASS. 

I love you all, Nina

[fuckyeahasexual]

Pic was taken during our last larp'ing season, haha…

I’m Madi. I’m ace and panromantic and I’ve been in a relationship with my partner, Ash, for nearly two years.

We met in seventh grade. We sat by each other in math class, I’d grabbed his hand and asked; “hey, can I draw your hand?” Cheesy middle school meeting, lame huh?

He waited for me for almost three years, for us to be together. We were best friends throughout that time too. Was pretty sweet. We have no idea when we actually decided to be a thing, because it was a progression. No real day set. We say it was on July 16, because it’s easier that way.

I identified as pansexual for a lot of the first year, and realized I was asexual then, too. I was so scared to tell him I didn’t feel attraction like he did. He was sexual, I was not, so I was so timid about letting him down. When I told him? “That means your love is the purest. You want me for nothin but love.” He made effort to understand more, to understand me more.

He helps me when I’m especially low and insecure. He says you shouldn’t be ashamed for being ace because it’s how you are.

I love him not only because he’s my partner, but he’s still my best friend. We have unconditional trust and support for each other.

I hope everyone finds a partner like that. Someone with unconditional support and love.

~

#aspecvalentine

[fuckyeahasexual]

This is my Husband. We have been together since 2008 and we have never had sex, because I am Asexual. We were married in 2015 and no, we still have not had sex. My husband helped me discover Asexuality and I've felt so much relief since I found Asexuality and accepted myself. We will very likely never have sex, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that he will love me anyways. 

[fuckyeahasexual]

All I’ve got is this cosplay gif but still. My name is Rami and I have been with my fiance for seven years now. When we first got together I had no label for what I was, I only knew that I wasn’t comfortable with sex. He never once tried to force me into it, and when he did finally ask about it and I told him, he just nodded and said that it was okay.

I’ll admit that it’s difficult sometimes, simply because he is highly sexual and I am ace with a healthy side dish of sex-repulsion, but every time I start to feel bad he does nothing but support me, reminding me that I should never feel bad for being what I am. I don’t know if I would have even discovered Asexuality if not for him helping me discover myself.

We’re planning on getting married as soon as we are self-sufficient. So to anyone reading all these ace valentines posts, have faith. If you want a relationship, there are people who will love and support you, even if they aren’t on the spectrum themselves.

From Some Git and myself,

You are all loved.

[fuckyeahasexual]

I've been in a loving relationship for over a year with a man who has the most adorable five year old son. We get to see him every other weekend, even though it's a six hour drive to and back. While we're in the car we'll listen to audiobooks or talk or just sit in happy silence. It's kind of surreal sometimes when I think, "This is the person I'm going to marry. Who wants to marry me back"

We've lived together almost the entire time we've been dating. It just kind of happened. One day I stayed the night, and we both forgot I was supposed to leave. Eventually, I moved in. Right now, I'm looking around our apartment, smiling at our home

He doesn't just accept that I'm ace, he understands. He listens to me when I say that I'm not feeling physical on certain days. He understands that holding hands to me is what kisses are to him. We meet in the middle and never sacrifice who we are for the sake of keeping the other in our lives, because we both know that we aren't going anywhere

We're getting married in a year. It's going to be silly and ridiculous, and we've agreed that there's going to be at least seven pinatas. I can't think of anyone else who I'd want to spend my life with. I'm really glad that things fell into place the way that they did

[fuckyeahasexual]

For Valentine’s Day!

My girlfriend (right) has been with me every step of my journey. We started as just friends in the same sorority and grew to much more. When I first started questioning my sexuality we sat in her car talking for hours on end. When I first came out she was with me and quoted our beloved drag queen Courtney Act “I am not broken, I do not need to be fixed.” A few months later down the line I discovered my romantic orientation too and began identifying as recipromantic. She supported me and asked questions and stayed by my side throughout everything I went through, including coming out to my family. She’s my best friend.

Being recipromantic, I don’t experience romantic attraction until someone shows interest in me first, and that came in the form of a late night drunk text from her. It was like the lightbulb finally clicked on. All our late night conversations, all her support, the feelings were always there I just needed the push. We spent a couple of months hardcore flirting and never actually saying anything, as two shy queer girls do. Then one night and 4 margaritas later all the feelings came flooding out and we’ve been together ever since.

It’s been almost 2 years now, and I am still head over heels for this girl. She’s been respectful of my identity from the beginning and being in a relationship has never changed that. She even asked for permission to hold my hand! She has been my biggest supporter, my sounding board, the love of my life, and always my best friend.

To all my aces out there, know that you can be loved. You are not broken, you don’t need to be fixed. Love can be found on the most unexpected places, and at the most unexpected times. Don’t worry about finding a relationship, let love find you. And if it’s real they will respect every part of you, including your asexuality.