#literally any advice on how to get through this book because even trying to listen to the audiobook is dry AF

[laughslikeaseagull]

So, a few years back (more like ten years but whatever) I had stopped reading the vampire chronicles (after Queen of the Damned), but recently I picked up Tale of the Body Thief after re-reading Queen of the Damned and I cannot get through it. It's just so much drier than the previous novels. Like don't get me wrong its very funny at some points but idk if I can get through it all in one go... Would I miss much if I decided to skip to another book? Should I just sparknotes it so I'm not lost during the rest of the series? or does it get better after the halfway mark? (Personally I really liked the interactions Lestat has with David but I'm not really feeling the whole "Lestat stuck in a human body haha" bit, its not as fun as I hoped...) I've heard that I'll have the same problem with Memnoch the Devil... ugh I adored Interview with the Vampire, The Vampire Lestat, and Queen of the Damned, idk why this just isn't clicking with me.

[floydira]

₊˚﹒✶﹒trolls headcanons .ᐟ

brozone, creek & king trollex with a reader going through a breakdown, overthinking and panicking and how they deal with them.

note ; I somehow(?) accidentally deleted the person's ask for this. I don't remember exactly what they asked word for word. (I'm down on my knees apologizing to you rn, I'm so sorry anon 🙏) so hopefully based on my memory this is at least close to what you asked for. I also hope this headcanon is to your liking.

☆★﹒🎧 ﹐BROZONE

John Dory

erm. well. let's just say when it comes to dealing with other people's emotions, he's not really the best guy to depend on...

BUT considering he spent years by himself (and rhonda) with no other socialization, plus leaving his brothers behind and coming back to them after awhile out of conscious but seeing them nowhere to be found, he definitely felt lonely and HAD his own breakdowns before.

so he'd understand how you're feeling, or at least try to understand.

when he first saw you breaking down, his first instinct was to ask you questions "why are you breaking down?" "did something happen?"

if he doesn't get a reply from you, he'll respect your boundaries and not ask any further questions. he'll just focus on comforting you in the present, awkwardly patting your back and giving you words of affirmation that he thinks would work. like those motivational phrases or quotes online, maybe even those ones that facebook moms use.

if you do give a reply, he'll sit down next to you and hear you out. sipping a drink and lending his ears for you to vent. he'll keep quiet (internally, he's restraining himself from outing his own opinions on whatever you vented to him about).

In summary, he's a listener. If you let him voice his own opinions, he'll tell you his thoughts and views. more often than not, if he does give advice, it's probably best you don't actually follow them. I feel like he's bad at giving advice...

at least, he's got the spirit!

Spruce/Bruce

this troll has a wife and kids. I'm sure he's knowledgeable in comforting someone when they are breaking down or overthinks a lot.

if you're overthinking, he'll support you and keep you company but he's also honest that helps you actually evaluate your overthinking thoughts and not stress too much about them.

once you come to him looking vulnerable, he'll immediately try to soothe you by rubbing your back gently. yk like those back rubs that puts babies to sleep? yeah, he'll do that.

while he rubs your back, he urges you to take a deep breath and let it all out. so you do. unknowingly you ranted and ranted, every little detail spoken word to word. he just has that affect on people.

lets you know that what you're going through is valid.

once you're all done, he'll give you advice to ease you or if you're not looking for advice, he'll just comfort you until you feel better.

Clay

he literally is in a sad book club, he'll have the knowledge about it and how to deal with it. except...he's slightly bad at executing it.

he'll snap you out of overthinking by yelling positive stuff to you, that are actually...effective???

if you rant to him, he'll listen to you attentively and pat your head afterwards. it's just something natural that he does, honestly head pats are soothing ok.

if you're okay with physical touch, he'll caress your face while giving you actually reassuring words. (LIKE. have you SEEN him literally pinching and squishing branch's face when he first met him after 20 years?!) of course, it's effective, combined with his already nice vibe (I feel like he naturally has a healing presence, he's just a sweet little boring cutie)

his method of comforting you naturally makes you feel better. he doesn't have to try hard because just watching his body language and mannerisms are dorky enough that it'll make you smile. he's unknowingly comforting in a silly dorky way. even with how badly he persists to be a very "serious" guy.

he'll definitely give you a big warm hug after everything.

Floyd

he's literally called the sensitive one. out of the brothers, he's definitely the one who understands you the most.

I don't think I even need to explain, you already know how perfect he is with dealing with stuff like that. like the time he talked to veneer about how his sister treats him and how he shouldn't let her be like that to him.

his face is full of worry if he sees you in a vulnerable state.

he literally gives the best hugs, it's canon, I know it's canon.

this emo mf knows exactly the right words to get you out of your vulnerable state for a while (bc the phrases he gives to others are probably what he wants to hear given to him).

he'll be really patient with you and help you with every step along the way even if you're having a hard time changing your bad traits.

he's also attentive at listening, he'll caress your hands with his thumb with a reassuring smile.

he'll be really sweet at tackling your situation and never makes you feel overwhelmed.

will cry with you tbh.

he's kind of helping himself when he helps you, because he's similar in a way.

Branch

branch was quite the panicker himself during the times when bergens ate trolls.

so he'd also know how to help you deal with it because he understands you.

he had to figure it out himself and was mostly alone to deal with his own vulnerability so he's happy to help you.

he'll look calm, composed and collected externally but even he, himself is slightly panicking on the inside. afraid that he'll let you down or he won't be of much help. don't worry though, he has it all put together after a bit.

If you're panicking, he'll help you focus, calm down and ease your hyperventilation.

"concentrate on your breathing, okay?"

once you've calmed down, he'll provide you with reassuring words.

he'll keep you company and stay with you until you feel composed enough to talk about it with him. he'll lend you an ear.

afterwards, he pats you on the shoulder and gives you advice that worked on him before.

━━━━━━━━━━

Creek

as bad as he is, he's literally the best when it comes to relaxation. he has that zen-like wisdom, so he'll calm you down and help you relax if you're panicking or overthinking too much.

just like floyd, he also knows exactly what to say to reassure or cheer someone up.

he'll give you a more positive outlook on whatever happened to you so that you don't overthink it.

tbh his voice itself is enough to calm you down.

he encourages different methods and ways(that he knows of) to you that could help.

King Trollex

this sweet goober offers you all his emotional support.

he feels upset, if you're upset. he's all frowny when he sees you vulnerable.

"can I give you a hug?" ofc he asks for consent.

will hug you tightly (he thinks hugs are a remedy for everything, besides music), quiet sobs are heard as his face is smooshed against your chest. just like bruce, he'll also rub your back soothingly while hugging you.

Intertwines both of your hands and encourages you to put your thoughts into words so that he knows what's going on that head of yours that's overthinking a lot of stuff.

keeps eye contact with you as you rant to him.

"you can get through this." he'll say with his cute smile.

the most he can provide is listening and comfort. he wishes he could help you more.

[danieyells]

Puts my mouth against the microphone

Oh my god.

Oh my god they were so fucking close AND TAIGA RUINED IT BUT ALSO. . .HE WAS SO NOT OKAY THERE???? MAYBE BECAUSE HE HADN'T EATEN IN AT LEAST TWO DAYS AT THAT POINT??? BUT LIKE WE ALSO KNOW HE CAN EAT ANOMALIES OF ANY SORT EVEN IF THEY'RE MADE OF SOMETHING SOLID AND CONTAIN NO MEAT. HE WON'T EAT THEIR WEAPONS BUT HE'LL EAT OTHER STUFF. Also he does drink regular human alcohol but i guess he doesn't like processed anomalies???

And the fucking

The whole thing

The everything

Romeo knowing people at the auction because he knows how to be an art dealer

ROMEO AND YURI'S PREEXISTING RELATIONSHIP?????? WHERE THEY KIND OF HATE EACH OTHER BUT ALSO YURI STOPPED CALLING SINOSTRA GERMS WHILE ROMEO WAS LISTENING SO HE EITHER RESPECTS OR FEARS HIM BUT ALSO THEY CLEARLY HAVE NO RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER. . . . ROMEO KNOWS HE USED TO BE IN SOME OTHER HOUSE AND WAS THERE WHEN HE RAN AWAY DOES THAT MEAN HE WAS IN SINOSTRA?? PROBABLY NOT RIGHT THE FROSTHEIM CONNECTION IS TOO STRONG. AND WE KNOW ROMEO KIND OF HOLDS FROSTHEIM IN HIGH ESTEEM EVEN IF HE HATES THEM NOW SO MAYBE MY THEORY THAT HE USED TO BE CLOSE TK THE FROSTHEIMERS WAS CORRECT??? AND HE WAS THERE WHEN TOHMA HAD TO GET YURI OUT???? UUUUUU

YURI SLEEPING NEXT TO JIRO?????

RITSU SAYING HIS MOM HELPED HIM PICK OUT THE SUNGLASSES KDBCHFIDJ

BUT THE OUTFITS WERE OTHERWISE PICKED AND CURATED BY ROMEO??? ROMEO FUCKING DRESSING EVERYBODY AOSBDHDKS DU

TAIGA REMEMBERING THAT HE MET PC BEFORE AND EXPLAINING THE KYKLOS RAN AWAY TOO QUICKLY FOR HIM TO GET TO. . . .

TAIGA MOCKING ROMEO FOR WORKING WITH HYDE. . .SAYING HE THINKS THE WAY HE TALKS TO HYDE IS GROSS. . .TELLING HYDE TO LEAVE ROMEO ALONE. . . . . . ..

And

Dbdhxusndgdudjdh

SO J THINK TAIGA'S GUN CAN ONLY HIT THINGS THAT ARE ACTIVELY MALICIOUS HE CANNOT HIT SOMETHING THAT HAS NO INTENTION OF FIGHTING. HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THAT THAT'S HOW IT WORKS

RITSU HITS PEOPLE WITH THE BOOK BECAUSE TAIGA TAUGHT HIM TO USE IT AS A BLUNT WEAPON. . . . . . . . . . .

ROMEO'S STIGMA CAN MAKE LITERALLY ANYTHING INTO A BOMB WITH A BIGGER EXPLOSION DEPENDING ON THE OWNER'S ATTACHMENT TO THE THING.

TAIGA DOESN'T LIKE THAT HYDE IS INVOLVED WITH ROMEO BUT HYDE SAYS ROMEO IS THE ONE DRIVING THEIR INVOLVEMENT SO IF HE'S BOTHERED HE SHOULD TALK TO ROMEO ABOUT IT. . . . . . . .

HYDE CONTINUES TO BE SUS BUT ALSO. . .I REALLY THINK HIS INTENTIONS AREN'T BAD HE'S JUST SUSSY? BECAUSE HE'S LIKE. . .TAIGA YOU HAVE TO TELL ROMEO YOU WANNA WORK TOGETHER WITH HIM AGAIN YOU HAVE TO COMMUNICATE WITH HIM BUT TAIGA GETS MAD. BUT THAT'S ACTUAL GOOD ADVICE THAT WOULD HELP THEM. . .I WONDER IF HE'S TRYING TO DRIVE THEM INTO CORNERS TO FORCE THEM TO TAKE ACTION?

THE HALLOWEEN EPISODE IS NEXT MONTH!!!!!

The way romeo talked about taiga ehen he pulled out the mask, with this fondness snd admiration and in a similar voice to the kne he uses with hyde even though taiga just got through saying it was gross

And taiga clocking that romeo had been so consumed by greed that he was preventing them from leaving and romeo letting go of all the valuables so they could all escape and

And

You'll get to keep the prettiest thing

The little touch to his hair

These bitches are so gay good for them. . . . . . . . . .

AND. AND!!!

TAIGA KNOWING ABOUT THE AUCTION TIAGA BEING QUIET FOR SO MUCH OF THE INVESTIGATION BECAUSE HE WAS ANALYZING AND OBSERVING AND TAKING EVERYTHING IN TAIGA REVEALING THAT HE KNOWS SO MUCH BUT REFUSING TO EXPLAIN HOW AND RITSU CREEPING CLOSER TO HIM ASKING ALL THESE QUESTIONS AND AND HE DEFINITELY SEES PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE RIGHT???? IT'S ALMOST CERTAIN RIGHT????

Taiga was so eepy this whole episode just lying all over the couch and taking naps and sitting in romeo's chair AND ROMEO DIDN'T COMPLAIN! and!!!!

I FEEL LIKE WE DIDN'T LEARN ANYTHING BUT I THINK THIS IS ABOUT THEIR GROWING AND STRUGGLING DYNAMICS RIGHT NOW. I THINK THIS IS ABOUT FINDING PROBLEM AREAS FOR FUTURE RESOLUTION. NOT REALLY A PROGRESSION CHAPTER BUT AN ESTABLISHING CHAPTER. WE LEARN A LITTLE MORE EVERY TIME.

The fact that Romeo's stigma is more powerful based on attachment to the thing he blows up. . .meaning if he wants to really destroy something he has to use something he loves. . . .

WHAT DID YURI MEAN BY THAT ROMEO HAD HIS BRAND NAME STOLEN???? DID ROMEO CHANGE HIS NAME?????? IS ROMEO NOT ACTUALLY ITALIAN????? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN WHY DOES YURI KNOW ABOUT IT(I MEAN WE KNOW YURI ALSO SEEMS TO LIKE LUXURY GOODS FROM WHERE HE WANTED TO GO IF HE GOT AN R&R PERMIT?) WHEN DID THEY BECOME FRIENDS WHY ARE THEY SO BITTER WITH EACH OTHER NOW BUT ALSO IT FELT KINDA LIKE BANTER BETWEEN TWO GUYS WHO KNOW THEY'VE BOTH BEEN THROUGH SOME SHIT AND RELATE TO EACH OTHER?

AND I WAS RIGHT THAT TAIGA KNOWS HAKU AND HE CALLS HIM "NAGI" FROM HIS LAST NAME. . .THAT'S CUTE. . .AND HIS NEW WARDING CARD HAS HAKU WATCHING HIM IN THE BACKGROUND TOO WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? HE LOOKS UNHAPPY TOO ALSO WTF IS TAIGA EATING THAT MEAT LOOKS PREPARED NOT RAW. LOOKS LIKE FUCKIN JERKY.

I'M JUST HAVING SO MANY THOUGHTS I'M HAVING SO MANY FEELINGS THIS WAS A TREAT CHAPTER. Like i said this is definitely an "establishing the background/situation" chapter more than a progress one but hahsbduxkdnshskdn aaaaaa. . . . . . . . . .it was good. Maybe because i ship taiga and romeo so hard but it was good they squabbled the whole time romeo punches taiga and he just takes it. ROMEO TELLS TAIGA HOW MUCH HE HATES "SPINELESS MEN" BECAUSE HE FEELS LIKE TAIGA'S BEING A COWARD AND TAIGA GETS QUIET AND COOPERATES LIKE HE DOESN'T WANNA BE UNATTRACTIVE IN ROMEO'S EYES THIS WAS A SHIP TEASE CHAPTER.

[jackoshadows]

Often on the asoiaf tags I see this entirely wrong opinion that Ned didn’t care for Sansa and that he ignored her in favor of Arya or that he showed favoritism towards Arya. This is clearly untrue as would be evident if one read the first book and Eddard’s POV chapters. Ned loved Sansa very much, so much so that he confessed to treason to save her life.

Sansa was the favored, beautiful, eldest daughter of the Starks and she reveled in it. If Sansa was going to tourneys by herself in KL, then Arya was sneaking through underground tunnels by herself and listening in on wizards plotting against her father.

Even just looking at the numbers from this amazing post by @asoiaf-fanworks​, this is Ned and Catelyn’s mentions (thinking or interacting with) of their daughters:

Literally, there are 41 mentions of Arya and 40 mentions of Sansa. One can’t find a more equal opportunity father in these books if one tries!

Meanwhile, if one wants to talk of favoritism look at Catelyn’s POV chapters after BOTH girls are trapped in KL with Ned:

If there is a focus on Ned/Arya that’s simply because Arya misses and remembers her father so much. She recalls his advice, takes strength from his words.That’s not Ned, that’s Arya.

These are the mentions of Ned and Catelyn by Arya and Sansa after Ned is imprisoned/executed:

To add some context to these numbers, Sansa loved to hang out with the ladies and her mother and the Septa and her friends. Arya loved to ride and hang out in the stables and the kitchens, gossiping with the cooks, playing with their babies and spending time with her father, brothers and Jon Snow. Just two girls who liked different things. And from this we get Catelyn reminiscing of long hours brushing Sansa’s hair and Arya reminiscing of eating with her father and his men.

It still boggles my mind that there are posts about how Ned not punishing Arya for picking flowers from the marsh for her father that one time is favoritism or that Sansa was wanting of approval from Ned.

It would be one thing if Ned was forcing Sansa to take lessons on sewing and singing and demanding she go ride with the Queen while allowing Arya to play in the marshes collecting flowers. That would indeed be favoritism. However, that’s not what happens.

Like literally this is the difference between the girls:

“I’m not,” Arya said, trying to brush a tangle out of Nymeria’s matted grey fur. “Mycah and I are going to ride upstream and look for rubies at the ford.”

Sansa regarded her scrawny little sister in disbelief. “You can’t look for rubies, the princess is expecting us. The queen invited us both.” “I don’t care,” Arya said. “The wheelhouse doesn’t even have windows, you can’t see a thing.”  “What could you want to see?” Sansa said, annoyed. She had been thrilled by the invitation, and her stupid sister was going to ruin everything, just as she’d feared. “It’s all just fields and farms and holdfasts.” “It is not,” Arya said stubbornly. “If you came with us sometimes, you’d see.” “I hate riding,” Sansa said fervently. “All it does is get you soiled and dusty and sore.” - Sansa, AGoT

Sansa could have spend time with her father when he was working, just like Arya did. Maybe the Septa or Catelyn would have chased after her like they did with Arya, maybe they would have admonished her, like they did with Arya. However, she could still do it - like Arya manages to spend time with her bastard brother or hang around when Ned is teaching the boys. Sansa chose not to do any of that because she did not want to.

Sansa loves doing the things she excels in. And patriarchal notions of femininity mean that she gets to do the things she loves and still be the Westerosi embodiment of high born ladies. The same option is not available to Arya for doing the things she likes doing and excels in. 

Ned not punishing Arya for doing those things does not mean he is showing favoritism or loves Arya more. It just means he loves both his daughters equally, he wants both of them to be happy. Sansa gets to be happy with her sewing lessons from the Septa and getting to ride with the queen while Arya gets to be happy with her ‘dancing’ lessons and picking flowers from the marshes and Ned gets to focus on being Hand of the King in the viper’s nest that’s KL without his daughters fighting with each other.

When Ned goes in to talk to Arya he does so to reprimand her for misbehaving with the Septa. He does not have such talks with Sansa because he sees her as the good and well behaved daughter compared to mischievous Arya.

At no time ever in the books do we see Sansa get jealous, envious, bitter or angry about this so called, made up ‘favoritism’ that her fans project onto the Ned/Arya relationship. The only thing we do get is this:

"It was for love," Sansa said in a rush. "Father wouldn't even give me  leave to say farewell." She was the good girl, the obedient girl, but she had felt as wicked as Arya that morning, sneaking away from Septa Mordane, defying her lord father. - Sansa, AGOT  

"I'm not like Arya," Sansa blurted. "She has the traitor's blood, not me.”   - Sansa, AGoT

At no point, do we get the equivalent of this for Ned and Sansa:

Arya didn’t know how much Robb would pay for her, though. He was a king now, not the boy she’d left at Winterfell with snow melting in his hair. And if he knew the things she’d done, the stableboy and the guard at Harrenhal. “What if my brother doesn’t want to ransom me?” “Why would you think that?” asked Lord Beric.   “…my hair’s messy and my nails  are dirty and my feet are all hard.” Robb wouldn’t care about that,  probably, but her mother would. Lady Catelyn always wanted her to be  like Sansa, to sing and dance and sew and mind her courtesies. Just  thinking of it made Arya try to comb her hair with her fingers, but it  was all tangles and mats, and all she did was tear some out.

“I ruined that gown that Lady Smallwood gave me, and I don’t sew so good.” She chewed her lip. “I don’t sew very well, I mean. Septa Mordane used to say I had a blacksmith’s hands.”…Thoros chuckled. “Your brother will pay, child. Have no fear on that count.”

“Yes, but what if he won’t?” she insisted.   - Arya, ASoS

Her mother used to say she could be pretty if she would just wash and  brush her hair and take more care with her dress, the way her sister  did. - The Blind girl, ADwD

At no point does Sansa think on how Ned wanted her to be more like Arya. At no point is she crippled by doubt of if her family will want her back or question their love for her. At no point does she think back with regret on her disdain for Arya, the betrayal of Ned’s plans to Cersei or throwing Arya under the bus as being a traitor. Sansa is confident of her family’s love for her when Arya wonders if they will want her back for killing two people while escaping.

This is Catelyn about Sansa and Arya:

Sansa would shine in the south, Catelyn thought to herself, and the gods knew that Arya needed refinement.  AGoT    

“Sansa was a lady at three, always so courteous and eager to  please. She loved nothing so well as tales of knightly valor. Men would  say she had my look, but she will grow into a woman far more beautiful  than I ever was, you can see that. I often sent away her maid so I could  brush her hair myself. She had auburn hair, lighter than mine, and so  thick and soft… the red in it would catch the light of the torches and  shine like copper.

“And Arya, well… Ned’s visitors would  oft mistake her for a stableboy if they rode into the yard unannounced.  Arya was a trial, it must be said. Half a boy and half a wolf pup.  Forbid her anything and it became her heart’s desire. She had Ned’s long  face, and brown hair that always looked as though a bird had been  nesting in it. I despaired of ever making a lady of her. She collected  scabs as other girls collect dolls, and would say anything that came  into her head. - Brienne, ASoS  

The girl was too young and too plain to be Sansa Stark, but she was  of the right age to be the younger sister, and even Lady Catelyn had  said that Arya lacked her sister’s beauty.  Brienne, AFFC  

And this is Ned and Arya in KL:

Her father’s voice was curt and hard. “The septa is doing no more  than is her duty, though gods know you have made it a struggle for the  poor woman. Your mother and I have charged her with the impossible task  of making you a lady.”   - Arya, AGoT

This is the Septa:

Everyone said so. “Sansa’s work is as pretty as she is,” Septa  Mordane told their lady mother once. “She has such fine, delicate  hands.” When Lady Catelyn had asked about Arya, the septa had sniffed.  “Arya has the hands of a blacksmith.”  - Arya, AGoT

The septa was horror-struck. “A lady does not discuss such things over her porridge. Where are your courtesies, Sansa? I swear, of late you’ve been near as bad as your sister.”  - Sansa, AGoT

“I don’t sew very well, I mean. Septa Mordane used to say I had a blacksmith’s hands.”…  - Arya, ASoS

And this is the environment in which Arya grew up in. The constant refrain, again and again, that she’s not as good as Sansa, that she is not as pretty, that she has been found lacking by the people responsible for her upbringing.

And this is what GRRM is referring to about his POV characters and the story he is telling

I’ve always had a soft spot for the outsider, for the underdog.  ‘Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things’, as the title of one of the (TV  series) episodes goes. The angst that they have in life makes for more  conflict, makes for more drama, and there’s something very attractive  about that. My Game of Thrones is told by outsiders of both types. None  of them fit comfortably into the society into which they’ve been born,  and they’re all struggling to find a place for themselves in which  they’re valued and loved and respected, despite what their society  considers their deficiencies. And out of that, I think, comes good  stories.  - GRRM

The patriarchal society in which Arya grew up in considers her to be deficient in some way. How she deals with it and comes out of this the stronger is one of the narrative themes of her story.

It has nothing to do with favoritism and no, Ned not scolding her that one time she picked him flowers or getting her a ‘dancing’ master to learn the sword is not indicative of Sansa being jealous of their close bond. Sansa did not even know that this was what Arya was doing. She though Arya was really getting dancing lessons!!

Sansa was not in the least jealous of Arya because she thought Arya was inferior to her in looks and manners, mocked her for her looks and wished she was a bastard while Arya wanted to be like Sansa. That’s their relationship dynamics and that’s the way it’s been through out their childhood.

[kandyrezi]

—galaxy;

PROMPT: Angels of Fumus with a human lover.

. . .

i. Taffy does not want to deal with inevitable heartbreak that comes with having a mortal lover. literally and figuratively, you are worlds apart and so, he keeps his heart closed. he's committed countless atrocities and sins and he wonders how he's still (un)mercifully living and breathing only because his god allows it. you find a confidant in him and he likes listening to you, in return he finds a friend in you and you console his grief to best of your ability, but that's as far as that'll go. it's for the best if he wants to keep you safe and out of reach from lord fumus.

ii. Yuu strays from romantic relationships generally, the chance of happiness is tempting but he resists the temptation for his own sake that would end up being ephemeral in any case. bringing you with him to his world is not an option, so he'll end up asking for advice from taffy – his closest friend and comrade – on the matter, though he has a feeling he already knows what kind of answer he will receive. he doesn't want you to cry over a caged bird like him, he leaves as many kisses on your face as needed until your tears have finally dried. "for... good luck," he'll tell you, not realizing it's the last you'll be seeing of his gentle, red eyes.

iii. Lei Hitotose cannot get enough of the wonder and awe you praise him with, asking how he manages moving around with those three huge wings ("wow, they're even soft like cotton!" you'll tell him) and trying to poke at his halo by standing on your tippy-toes. his sin is that he is self-indulgent to a fault, but he cares very little about it. he'll allow you to touch and pat him wherever you please, so long as he can return the favor with a 'curiosity' of his own by getting to fondle you – you can trust either way that this pervy seraph won't be keeping his hands to himself.

iv. Zero Hitotose reasons to himself he should focus on duty and mission above all else, but he's a fool in love and his mind drifts back to you, inevitably. he can live just fine without you, but he certainly doesn't want to. he's impulsive and not graceful in the slightest and always comes crash-landing out of the blue somewhere near your current location. you'll find him sprawled in a rose bush, and he's embarrassed out of his wits, but when you say you're laughing not at him, but because you're happy to see him, any regrets or second-guessed he had previously fade away in instant.

v. Engetsu may enjoy a little self-indulgent fling of his own, not at all shy to go after something that catches his eye. it's certainly fun for him too, to pretend to just be a normal boyfriend (who just enjoys crossdressing) that you have, to your family or friends, instead of an ethereal being from an entirely another world. he thinks some of them can probably sense something odd about him, those who are more susceptible to the otherworldly. yet at the end of it, he is still a realist through and thorough, knowing you won't be with him forever, as much as he does like you – amongst other complications and it's perhaps best to end it, but trust he'll give you something to remember him by; with long, passionate hours into the night in your room and clothes discarded on the floor.

vi. Fiore enjoys long conversations with you, how you see the world around you is so fundamentally different from his own, and your differing viewpoints keep his interest and attention. it's highly likely he can understand the language you speak, but you can't understand the writings and scripture that's written in the books in his world, so he would enjoy teaching you how to read it. it's undeniable by the feelings of deep affections he holds that it's more than friendship on his side. he doesn't visit often, but he writes letters. some of them are never sent. things he thinks should be said out loud, but won't (or can't) bring himself to do it.

vii. Inga never tells you of the violent conflicts and punishments he endures, but he doesn't always clean the blood and nurse the wounds effectively enough for you not to notice it anyway. he rarely talks about himself, preferring for you to do it instead. being in love with you is just being in another war with himself, and it's an easy victory (or defeat) to accept the hardship of loving someone so pure and worlds away from the source of all his pain. your presence to him is really the epitome of the phrase, "you gave me peace in a lifetime of war".

viii. realistically, Tsurugigozen has no interest in mingling with anyone that much of a lower status than himself. your unrequited yearning fuels his ego, but he keeps you at arms' length, not believing you to be worthy of him. yet he gets pissy when you lose interest due to his 'apathy' and he doesn't get the attention he expects from you, so he'll subtly degrade and make you feel small, but you won't let him get away with it, ("i thought god's angels were creatures of enlightenment, but now i see you're just some phoneys wearing stupid costumes!") and he's deserving of every nasty word – but one has to wonder why has he not just left if he really thinks of you as that insignificant. maybe he isn't as complex as he likes to think of himself as.

ix. Youran is a romantic in every sense of the word, it's possible he'll look at his surroundings with rose-tinted glasses and live in fantasy constructed of false ideals, ignoring all the macabre and the ugly. and you believe him too, with his kisses sweet as honey dew and words of romance like something from your collection of poetry books – but it is him who becomes lost in his own grandeur delusions and wringing you along, one of his comrades will likely have to remind him of the gravity of the situation and who it is he keeps sneaking off for not-so secret trysts under the moonlight and clear skies of stars. it is possible he'll be out of your life as abrupt as he came once the realization finally sinks in for him, making his presence feel like nothing more than a dream due to a fever. but it's certainly enough to leave a lasting ache and a hollow feeling because of it.

x. Aes doesn't remember the last time he really fell in love with someone – it could've been centuries or even eons ago because he's never really been the type to form romantic connections with anyone, but once he actually realizes it, it's an indescribable feeling of being at peace. the sweet blond angel, if only he could, would grant you immortality, but he would never want to subject you to the violence and bloodshed he's surrounded with daily, no matter if it's the devil's or his own god's world he's residing at said moment of time. he wonders of the possibility – if erasing your memories of him would ease his and your pain, knowing there isn't a reality out there where you could be together without a war in between, but he really doesn't want you to forget about him. in and outside the battlefield, his heart remains weak as always, and he himself can't deny it.

[verxn]

Guilty

Description: you guys go on the trip to Italy but it doesn’t end very well

Pairing: Peter Parker x black fem reader

It’s been a while , I didn’t know what to write about please don’t get me 😭 - v

-

They were everywhere…literally everywhere, i couldn’t even turn the corner without seeing them smooching off of each other

We are currently in Italy for a school trip and I kinda regret coming, there’s so much couples everywhere and I cannot seem to escape

Plus looks like Peter is hopping in the bandwagon right behind ned with trying to get with MJ

“What happened to being American bachelors in Europe” I heard peter say to ned

“Dude I’ve changed those were words of a little boy, I’m a man” Ned said to peter

“Jesus Christ Ned you just get a girlfriend now your acting like your some kinda of saint” I said flipping through my engineering book

“Y/n- you weren’t even in this conversation” Ned replied frowning a bit “she’s kinda right through” Peter said to Ned

“Peter you still trying to do that plan?” I looked at him “yeah hopefully I can go through with this without any problems ahead” he said

“When is there never not a problem Peter? Guarantee you might have to pull out the suit” I whispered to him “but anyways enough with the couple talk I can’t stand it” i put my book back in my tote bag

I wore a green tan and brown striped shirt , black slacks with checkered print vans, I put my dreads in a lazy ponytail and I had glasses on even though I could see perfectly fine I just wanted to wear them with my outfit

“Y/n your style is weird” Ned said, I looked up at him “whaddya mean?” He thinks for a moment “I don’t know it’s lazy yet so professional” he added

“Lazy yet so professional? Hm I’ll take it” I said smiling at him “how did you even come up with this style anyway?” Peter said I looked up at him “oh I just had inspiration from certain people” I nodded to myself

“That’s cool, who are those people?” He said curiously “uh- favorite artist like people I listen to” I said to him it was a bit awkward probably because I confessed to him 5 months ago and he sadly turned me down but I moved on …..kinda?

“oh nice nice” he said to me I nodded and folded my arms “well long trip ahead I better go get some snacks” I said to the two and walked away

While I was walking away to one of the random stores I heard “WAIT” I turned around and saw peter running towards me “what the..” I mumbled confused on why he was running towards me

He stopped right in front of me out of breath “are you good?” I said to him “y-yeah I’m fine you just walk really fast” he said to me still out of breath

“yeah I get that a lot” I chuckled to myself “but why did you run over here for ?” “I needed your advice about my plan-” I shucked my teeth and walked away “nope I don’t wanna hear about couples”

-

We arrived at the hotel and everyone else left but, I didn’t feel like going out so I stayed in, plus all that lovey dovey would rub off on me

I sighed and pulled out my phone and started scrolling through social media, but it was filled up with couple posts and pictures of our classmates on the trip

I groaned and turned off my phone “let’s just take a nap” I said to myself, I laid down and got comfortable and drifted off to sleep

-

Knocking woke me up from my nap, I sat up rubbing my eyes “just a moment” I said getting off the bed “what the hell” I said to myself

I opened the door and found peter and Ned standing there “what?” I said clearly tired Ned opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off “wait wait wait, before you start if it has to do with anything couple related I will shut this goddamn door on your face” I said now fully awake

“We got attacked” Ned said “attacked how what?” I said confusedly “actually wait come in” I said opening the door wider so they can step in the hotel room

“What happened?” I said with my arms crossed “some big water giant attacked us” Ned said “thank god that guy was there, without him we’ll be toast” he added

“You got Spider-Man right there what you mean?” I said pointing to peter “did you do anything peter ?” I turned to him

He nodded “yeah I webbed up some buildings so they wouldn’t fall and also held up a tower but it fell” I nodded “okay at least nobody is hurt” i said while sitting down

“But what do you want me to do about this? You guys had to come to me for something” I said looking at the pair

They stared at me

“What…?” I said shifting uncomfortably

“Y/n….can you…”

“Don’t tell me you want me to upgrade your suit” I said grabbing my brown coat

“Listen…I know you only do that if it’s necessary but I really need it” Peter said desperately

I looked at peter “look…I’m sorry but, I have no lab to work in and I didn’t bring my materials with me…I’m sorry Peter” I said looking at him sitting on the bed next to ned

Peter nodded and got up while leaving the room , ned slowly looked back at me and mouthed ‘sorry’ and closed the door behind him

I then plopped down on the bed and held my hands to my face “why the hell would I do that”

[firestarter91]

Dead and Buried, episode 2 - thoughts

Colin looks particularly pretty in this scene, the way the light plays off his lovely face and makes his eyes sparkle, like Cathy I wanted to stare for a bit but unlike Cathy I don't want to ruin this guy's life.

Spoilery musings below.

We pick up the pace this week as Cathy carries on her campaign against Michael and things start getting serious. Half way through this series, I don’t feel much sympathy for Cathy, because the writers haven’t given me enough reasons to do so. Michael comes over as a decent family man grappling with his own internal struggles, he’s trying to get on with life and gain some personal freedom from a suffocating family environment.

The fact he did a bad thing many moons ago doesn’t change that. May be it’s partly because I’m still none the wiser what exactly happened with her brother and how did Michael end up in the situation he’s in now? Although I’m not sure it would make much difference to my feelings as he’s clearly rehabilitated himself. I’m planning on keeping my weekly viewings going rather than binge watching, I just hope this doesn’t go off the rails like The Killing Kind, the previous drama Colin did involving a guy with a dark past.

“I can explain” Cathy tells husband Raymie after being caught outside the front of the McAllister house. Well she does and it sounds exactly as bad as it looks, even her excuse that she's not fucking him but fucking WITH him, doesn’t win her any brownie points. She says she wants revenge, yeah we know. It’s funny how she goes from being all regretful about her actions to offended he’s followed her, like how dare you impinge on my private time whilst I stalk this dude and snoop in his house!

Cathy is also annoyed at her therapist, yeah so am I, I liken them to snake oil salesman. They make you pay good money to do nothing but ask bleeding obvious questions that any sensible person would ask, they supposedly listen, nod their head whilst you talk and then let you go without offering you any advice on what you should do and promptly book you in for another consultation. I just don’t get how that’s a job? You might as well chat to a friend and pay them, they’ll be about as much use and they might just offer you some sensible suggestions, like Cathy’s friend. Not that Cathy is listening to anyone about Michael.

Oh that explains the son’s reaction when he saw Raymie outside the bedroom window, I must have missed that he’s Andrew’s teacher and he thinks he’s in trouble for bunking off, Raymie now realises he’s got McAllister’s son in his class, what a handy coincidence. 😉

Uh oh trouble at home, his wife has found the lace panties that Cathy planted and she demands to look at his phone. He’s in a spot of bother here because whilst he’s not technically been cheating, the messages she finds (unless he's already deleted them) will be enough to condemn him as flirting (literally) with the idea of it. Oh that’s smooth and kind of a shit thing to do, blame the lad for the knickers lol, he even walks away leaving the phone in her hand until she asks does he want it back, that was a disaster well dodged (for now) but the son isn’t so happy, he’s heard them talking.

I love a bit of drunken dancing in the living room and Michael sure as hell needs a release, and that’s found in the bottle and music, he’s clearly unhappy. Next day he’s off with his son to attend a cult Brothers of Caleb meeting and singalong. Cathy is following them, turns out they’re going to initiate a new member as a ‘disciple’, he’s another repentant ‘sinner’ who by joining the brotherhood will have his life tied to serving the cult leader Michael’s father in law, Jack.

Cathy's friend Sally realises she's is out on the prowl again whilst on the phone to her and meets up with Cathy to ask why she’s on a stake out with her son in the back of the car. They can hear singing from outside so Cathy runs up close to take a look, “it’s worse than I thought they’re born again christians!’😂

Poor Michael is sitting there during the ceremony looking like he’d rather be anywhere else, he’s had well over a decade of this shite, having to listen to the ‘we are all sinners’ mantra trotted out by Jack and I don’t blame him for wanting to escape. Worse he can see his son being indoctrinated without having a chance to think or explore the world for himself and that scares him.

Sally tells Cathy she’s almost feeling sorry for Michael, it’s as if Cathy wants him off still killing people the way she’s behaving when the worst he’s done is seemingly join the God squad. Cathy doesn’t care she’s deaf to reasoned argument, at least Sally realises this and walks away. She’s had enough and wants to stay out of it, but in driving off she gets spotted by Jack, Michael and his son as they examine his car which Cathy has scratched with the words ‘cheater’ whilst she was outside the house. I know this is bad news for the friend as she’s going to be fingered as the culprit.

Cathy meets up with Sally a few days later at school, she tells Cathy she looked into his eyes and he seems ordinary, ‘you were caught in his tractor beams’ Cathy jokes (well who wouldn’t he does have such pretty eyes😊), she’s had a long talk with her husband, it’s all out in the open, and everything sorted and done and Michael is buried (not literally obviously), we know of course this is a load of bull.

Therapist again: “how does it end?”

“An eye for an eye” that’s her dream of how it goes, she wants every aspect of his life destroyed. She's on a revenge mission pure and simple, the therapist meanwhile simply pockets some more cash.

Another flashback and we discover that Michael was with a group of teenage boys, one of which was chasing after her at school and after an initial rejection she decides that kind of action is too good to ignore and they have a bit of a kiss and fumble in the back of his car one night, only to be caught by her irate brother Terry and they have a spat. First off I thought it was Michael who was kissing her but I think he was in the front of the car watching them and he tried to break up the fight? It’s rather confusing which one of them is actually Michael during the kissing scene and its aftermath.

Cathy arranges a heart to heart with Michael’s wife at the coffee shop (I just realised it’s called ‘Coffee and Crime’), I like how she manages to coax the wife to sitting down and talking about her own recent issues with Michael, ‘do we stick or do we twist?’ she asks the wife.

Whilst Cathy plants the seeds of further discontent, Michael is having an equally discomforting time with Raymie at school being taken to task about his son’s increased truancy, it’s clear he doesn’t really know what to do about it or say, his wife usually handles this stuff, he had no clue what was going on.

Michael tells Raymie he wants his son to look up to him, he admits that when he was younger he messed up, he was on the periphery of something, got involved and was punished for it. He makes it sound like he was in the wrong place at the wrong time not that he’s some cold blooded killer. We also discover that his son has no clue about his past and Michael doesn’t want to tell him until he’s older, well jesus the kid looks plenty old enough, he needs to tell him before everything goes to shit.

Meanwhile, Michael’s father-in-law is calling in a favour of a reluctant disciple, asking him to check up on the car they spotted driving off after the meeting and find out whatever else he can about her whilst he’s at it, God he’s such a dick.

Michael looks SO GOOD in that blue shirt and suit, wardrobe continue to do the most excellent work with Colin, it's simple but effective.

Is singing a big thing in Irish schools? I can’t remember ever doing that when I was at school, only at morning assembly.

Meanwhile dad has come around to poke his big fat interfering nose into his daughter’s private life and cause yet more trouble, now I’d tell him to bugger off and mind his own business and let me sort my own marriage out but she’s not that type. She’s as much under his control as Michael is and after a heart to heart, daddy says he’s going to find out what’s going on, leaving her all tearful and upset, thinking Michael’s up to no good even though she's convinced he would never have an affair. ‘He’s been straying away from the true path for some time now’ he warns, bloody hell what a nightmare, on the surface her family looks fine but it’s not.

Cathy has messaged Michael and offered a calming shoulder to cry on, he’s told her things are difficult at home but they agree to meet up for coffee, Michael’s wading into increasingly murky territory here, some flirty texting he may just about get away with if he plays his cards right but actually meeting up with that person is crossing yet another line. He knows this of course when he sits down and says ‘but we’re not doing anything wrong..ish?’ 😏 He looks so tempting.

I’m transfixed too much by the pretty to remember much of this conversation but Michael tells her about the knickers. It’s clear he still has no clue who she is but I can’t say that’s odd. She looks so different from those flashbacks, hair was long and dark, and she’s got twenty odd years on her face to grow and fill out as a woman and in any case if you’re not looking for something you tend not to see it. Why should he think it’s the same girl from when he was in his late teens whose now the woman sitting opposite him in a coffee shop intent on trying to destroy his life?

Michael gets a visit at the office from Jack who confronts him about his apparent infidelity, what a nasty git, the not so subtle threat is voiced, 'da' can take everything away from him if he misbehaves. He’s a murderer who got given a second chance by this family, no wonder he drinks, he’s so trapped and fucked he might as well be back in jail. Michael naturally has no clue who the woman was they saw at the house when dad shows him the picture, it’s kind of funny that he’s toying with doing something whilst being accused of actually already having done the deed.

We see Andrew is at home going online to search on Sally.

Is there anything worse than an overbearing, control freaky parent? Yes there is, an overbearing, control freaky religious zealot of a parent, no wonder Michael keeps a bottle of booze in his office desk at work.

Cathy is at a bar, drinking and dancing with Sally, they’re having a gals night out, she walks home afterwards to have drunken sex with her husband, they probably haven’t done it in a good while so he’s a happy bunny. Meanwhile Sally is staggering off to her house, fumbles with the keys outside her door, looks up and gets attacked by a bloke in what looks like a hoodie, he slams her head against the wall. She falls to the ground.

Michael comes home late and obviously drunk to be greeted by his wife, he says why did you tell your dad about the knickers, right then and there you see how suffocated and unhappy he feels with his home situation and I really felt for him. He sounded so broken and upset, her telling Jack their personal issues just piled on the emotional pressure.

His wife is okay but she’s too much under her dad’s influence, she notices he has cuts on the back of his hands, he says he fell over, ‘your dad is such a supersilious wanker’, he’s dead right. He also tells her he’s not having an affair and he’s not a murderer, they both head up to bed and their son appears suddenly from the lounge(?) downstairs (although wearing his black hoodie up he looks like he's dressed for outdoors) where he’s heard everything by the looks of it. Guess it’s a bit late now for Michael to have that talk Raymie suggested.

So the credits roll and we’re left with an interfering dick of a father in law convinced Michael’s having an affair, a strongly suspicious wife, his son realising his dad has a darker past than he thought, a seriously injured/possibly even dead best friend and two possible suspects in Andrew and Michael.

Despite the ending, I continue to feel sorry for Michael, I get Cathy’s upset about her brother’s early demise and seeing his apparent killer has set her spiralling but it's frustrating that two episodes in we still don’t really know what happened back then which is not making it easy to sympathise with her behaviour decades later.

Cathy’s coming over not as righteous but purely vindictive and unhinged, meanwhile Michael is struggling with an oppressively religious zealot of a father-in-law, a cowed wife and a suspicious angry son.

Religion at its worst can be like a cult, it sucks people in, steals their will power and self determination. There’s a price to pay if you try to escape, usually it means you're ostracised from family and friends, Michael was caught up in this "Brotherhood of Caleb" fairly early on by the looks of things and he’s being slowly suffocated by it.

Looking forward to catching up on Monday for the next episode and hopefully by then I'll find out some more about what Michael did to Terry.

[missmaywemeetagain]

Dear Miss Madisyn May,

I don't know if I totally understand how Gala's work, and when I don't understand something I usually hesitate and lurk around, but I've been following your's and worked up the nerve to send you a message. I first found Pink Scarf on A03, and it is something I go back and reread when I want cheering up or inspiration. Like so many I was immediately captivated by your writing and I love your newest fic Broken Glass and also the epilogues/one-shots/shorts you've written. I'm relatively new to active fandom, I have been a lurker for the last few years reading here and there, I feel like I came to fic late in life (32-33ish) and only just started writing it last fall. It has become one of my favorite pastimes and I wish I had found it sooner, but oh well.

I was wondering if you would be willing to share your own process for how you map out where your stories will go and how you work out plots, or find inspiration and work through writer's block, and/or honestly any advice you'd give someone starting out writing fic.

cheers,

norah

A little black-tie a little black-tie E and Frank ready for your Gala...

Dear Lil’ Miss Darlin’ Norah,

Firstly, I’m sorry this took me a million trillion years to respond to!! This is the sweetest and loveliest, and thank you for coming by to share and ask such a great question!! 💜 I, too, came to fic late(ish) and was also most definitely a lurker, so I can very much relate.

Oooh, boy, my writing process is a bit of a mess, honestly. I wish I could say that I was a super outliner/organized writer, but that’s just not who I am, and I think trying to be that writer got in my way for a very long time. I find that I get stifled if I’m outlining really specifically because my brain tries to lock everything in even if the story needs to go in another direction. So for me, I take more of an organic approach.

I tend to think in scenes or beats that I want to hit instead. Often, my ideas start from daydreams, so it’ll begin with a “scene” that I then want to build a story around. Sometimes that scene is really clear but may not happen for many chapters into a fic, so I have to figure out how I actually get my characters there. But giving myself time to daydream is one of the most important things to me as a writer. Usually when I’m having trouble figuring out a scene or arc or pushing through the writing, it’s often because I literally haven’t closed my eyes and laid down and let it play out in my head.

And inspiration can come from almost anywhere! Writing Elvis in particular, I’m heavily inspired by historical events and personal anecdotes. I love weaving real moments into my E fics!! There are honestly too many to count for PS.

For Broken Glass, Dolores came to me first as a character and I was like, “hmmm, that’s interesting,” and I am super fascinated by E’s health journey, so I was like, how do I put those together?

Songs are also often big sources of inspiration, like with Power of My Love and Without Love for PS. I try to consume a lot of media too, which gets my brain going—what I mean by that is the more I’m reading books and fics and watching shows/movies and listening to music, the more goes in my brain bank, so to speak.

I am by no means an expert, or even a professional writer (yet!), so this is just part of my process which (usually) works for me. Take of that what you will, but of course every writer is different and there is no one “right” way. I definitely struggle with perfectionism, and that tends to be my biggest source of “blocks” or frustration. So I’ve found that I just need to write. Practice. Get something on the page, even if it sucks lol! Cuz I’m always gonna go back and revise and tweak it anyway.

Anyway, I hope that’s helpful! Thank you so much for supporting my little stories and wishing you all the best in your writing adventures! 💜 Feel free to drop in my DMs if you have other questions or tag me in your works!

And I looooove me some black tie E and Frank!! To have been in that room…phew! 🥰😏🤩

💗 Madi

[imanes]

hey imane, this is such a dumb question but inshallah you will not hate me for it: how do you not want to die when you go to the gym.... i want to improve my health and my parents doomed me to live in the north where the weather is terrible for most of the year, so the gym feels like my best option, but exercise itself is so painful and sweaty and i have never felt this "high" that people talk about getting from exercise! i would appreciate any advice at all! also i finally caught up on demon slayer because of you, it was so good (should i read the manga?) ☆

naaur it's not a dumb question on the contrary!! I've been struggling with keeping up with going to the gym or just exercising in general because it feels like a task to be done rather than something that gives me a high or something so i totally feel you. i do like moving around and feeling like i'm getting stronger (i mostly lift weight + light cardio) but idk about that mental boost people talk about either lmao.

i can only speak from my perspective so my goal at the moment isn't even to do the most at the gym and get me into shape in a month or something, I'm literally just trying to build the habit of going to the gym. heading there is a struggle too so i have to put myself in automatic mode and go no question asked. i also tell my friend to hold me accountable so i send them a pic where i get there otherwise I've given them license to punch me in the arm lmao.

another thing that helped me is switching gyms to go to one that is bright, well lit, spacious, and never overcrowded. i used to go to a cheaper one and i was pretty regular but i just haaaaated the place so much it was dank dark musty crusty ew ew ew.

having an idea of the workout you wanna do is also important once you get there so you can just go through your workout like a checklist and then head out after a good stretch! I'm getting back into the swing of things so I'm watching beginner videos from naomi kong on youtube, she really doesn't overdo it and outside of my own self-mandated light cardio warm-up (cycling) and finisher (inclined walk on the treadmill) it really didn't break a sweat.

so yeah to build the habit of just doing it, i am actually going everyday until i feel like i can trust myself with doing it every other day. mind you i don't do a "real" workout every day, i actually did a full body three days ago, just light cardio for 30 minutes yesterday to get my limbs moving and my blood pumping, and today was leg day. I'm gonna go tomorrow for a swim i think just to switch up the way i do my cardio and then on Monday it's gonna be upper body day and I'll probably follow another naomi kong beginner's guide to the gym.

so my tips for consistency and learning to like going to the gym:

go as many times as possible during the week just to make you used to going there

don't do big workouts!! your body doesn't need to go into failure every time. my legs used to shake like i was a newborn fawn bc i was following my friend's workout routine and it was not sustainable mentally for me lol. i just do my reps with lower weights than i used to just to get my body used to the movements and to make my mind disassociate "working out" with "sweating and suffering". it's like pavlov lol positive reinforcement is key

switch up your workouts so that it feels fresh! what i did today for leg day isn't what I'm gonna be doing for my next leg day for example bc i get bored easily

speaking of getting bored easily usually i either watch a bunch of youtube videos, listen to podcasts, read a book on my phone, or switch to an audiobook when my hands are busy because otherwise my mind wanders and i want to leave from being bored out of my mind. however today i did have a lot on my mind so i ended up listening to newjeans songs they have the perfect beat for working out

if your gym offers collective classes try one out! suffering together makes the pain easier to bear <3 that used to be what got me through english boxing classes years ago when i used to go... my objective is actually to go back to boxing classes (this time muay thai i think) by the end of the year and then the gym every other day or something for weight lifting, swimming, or a class of pilates or dance or smt that sounds fun

ok that was a really long answer lmao i'm also at the beginning of a journey that i hope will be consistent and sustainable!! i hope we can motivate each other out as northern country dwellers who have to contend with the wind the rain and the snow <3 also yaaaaay I'm so happy you watched demon slayer! and YES read the manga, the next arc is chill and cute but what follows... if you don't binge it all til the end i'd be surprised but also that'd mean you're much stronger than me which is a good thing if you can apply it to going to the gym as well akjfdklgj anyway good luck keep me updated babe insha'Allah we can do it!!

[checkoutmybookshelf]

In Defense of Full-Cast Audiobooks

By the time I was teaching Dracula as a PhD student, I was getting *that close* to being done, I was burned out as all hell, and I just could not bring myself to sit down and read the OG vampire book. I tried. It wasn't grabbing me, and there were days I literally could not make my eyes focus on the words on the page. So I didn't bother reading my physical copy. I'm actually not sure I ever opened this book to read it (although I did use it to check stuff in classes, so like having the physical copy was useful).

Instead, I got the full-cast audiobook on the strength of the fact that I liked Tim Curry's voice work on any number of childhood cartoons and Simon Vance's work on the Temeraire audiobooks. I went from being meh to actively antagonistic with this book to absolutely, completely enamoured with it, and I credit the incredible full-cast audio performance with that. Let's talk Dracula and the merits of full-cast audiobooks.

Reading is reading, whether you do it with a physical book, ebook, or audiobook. That's not up for debate. However, amongst audiobook afficionados, there are generally two schools of thought.

Camp one is the "just read it to me" folks, and they tend to prefer a single narrator (although I've met a few who will accept two readers, one male and one female, to do characters of those respective genders. No word on how that works with nonbinary characters, so if you have a preference on that, let us know!). This camp also tends to be on a sliding scale in terms of how much performing they like their one narrator to do. I've known people on the "yes, do all the voices and put some feeling into it" end and the "the narrator should be more or less invisible" end.

Camp two is those who prefer full-cast audiobooks. These tend to read like full-on radio productions, with voice actors for all the main characters, and sometimes music and/or sound effects for emphasis and flavor. I've been in this camp since I was a teenager and discovered the full cast audio versions of Tamora Pierce's Circle of Magic books. I was sold. I have them basically memorized at this point. And when I found out that I could get Dracula read this way, I leaped on that with both feet.

The audiobook version of Dracula I listened to was the Audible exclusive full-cast version, and I have to say, I think it worked particularly well for an epistolary novel. You never ever get lost or consfused about who the speaker is when every character has their own unique voice actor (which honestly tends not to be an issue for me, but my students would periodically tell me they had this problem when reading). With some music and performance as well, the story really pops. All the interpersonal relationships between characters get just that much more real, that much more impactful.

The ability to "read" the book on my walks to and from school and on the bus to and from work was a massive plus too, because that was right in the middle of my "I'm working three jobs and getting a PhD and TA-ing simultaneously" phase, so using every scrap of time I could was important to my ability to EVEN. I was in a position to pay for the audiobook, but I also tracked down a single-narrator (probably bootlegged, I genuinely don't know) version on YouTube and made that link available to my students in case they weren't in a position to pay for an audio version. I don't know how many of them used the link, or even took my advice to try aduiobooking it if they were struggling to read the book, but I know that the full-cast audio version was how I got through it and how I really ended up loving the book.

In terms of Dracula itself, I don't have a lot to say other than it really IS that good; it's a classic for a reason. The vampire hunting shenangins are never not fun, and seeing vampires before Anne Rice and Stephanie Meyer got on the scene is fascinating. If anyone out there hasn't experienced Dracula, I strongly recommend reading it in your preferred medium, and Dracula Daily is an option as well that I'm planning to get in on one of these years, because I haven't done that yet and I think that would be a truly fascinating way to engage with the novel.

[mxtxfanatic]

Thank you for answering my ask related to analyzing. You mentioned how you taught creative writing courses and that's so cool! One of my goals this year is to get better at analyzing and writing, so we'll see how that goes. By any chance, do you have any rough resources or reading lists you assigned?

So for me, I learned creative writing through experiencing, so that’s how I teach it 😭 (also because creative writing is quickly becoming a legitimate, separate field, a lot of the materials on how to write are really only teaching you how to create formulaic stories for the purposes of being published by big publishing houses, not how to craft anything unique and interesting.)

My biggest advice for learning how to write and analyze is to continue consuming creative works. Watch movies and read books and listen to music and consume comics that catch your attention. Go to an art museum and stare at the works that move you. Take up pottery or crocheting or dancing so you have creative outlets that aren’t just writing (trust me, it works). Literally do anything that gets your creative juices flowing. A certain style of writing captures your attention? Try to replicate it. Something about the last movie you watched made you feel like a key component was missing? Rewrite it and see if you can “solve” that dilemma. Ask questions of everything you consume. Why did the creator choose to do this? What does it do for the work? Why do I love it? Why do I hate it? How can I incorporate this into what I want to do? Never let a creative thread die if you can help it. Even if it eventually goes nowhere, it helped you become a better thinker and a better writer.

Finally, the only “teaching” book I ever received in a creative writing class and from which I’ve taught sections from is Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. Very interesting as it does while it teaches. I personally tend to stay away from books “teaching how to write” because it can make you feel like there’s only one way to write (which is false) and discourage you from writing at all. If you read others’ writing journeys, including and especially those of big-name writers, just remember: you are not them, your stories are not theirs, and your routine may not match their routines. None of this means that your writing or skills are beneath theirs, just that you are different people. Such is the diversity of humanity.

[svartalfhild]

Summer Reading/Writing/Arting Tag

Tagged by @late-nite-scholar to complete this "get to know the author" tag game. Thank you~!

Tagging: @wayfaring-rune, @celamity, @boxingcleverrr, @mxphanes

1) Describe one creative WIP project you’re planning to work on over the summer.

Just one? Well shit, that's tough. I have so many ideas percolating in my noodle, both in terms of writing and art.

Let's see...aside from my current ongoing march of ESO fic which is very likely to continue through the rest of the year, I do have a cyberpunk novel I've been wanting to continue working on. It's currently titled Ars Voltaica, and it's set in Detroit about a hundred years from now. It's about a young woman fresh out of college who gets into a corporate sponsored debt relief program in which she has to sign a contract to work in the data entry department of said corporation for five years and also live entirely on their campus. While she's there, she becomes privy to some information she shouldn't know and oops! suddenly she has to flee for her life. And that's just the beginning! There's a lot of stuff to do with androids in there. One of the central characters, the personal assistant of the corporate boss, is an android, and he's got wild shit going on with him. A lot of my motivation for this story comes out of me being mightily salty about how bad Detroit: Become Human is lol.

Anyway! In terms of art, the main thing on the docket is doing the final player character portrait for my DnD group. He's a Fallen Aasimar Conquest Paladin who's getting his holy power from Bane but doesn't realize it yet. He's played by my friend Jim.

2) Rec a book!

Aw shit I'm not the reader I used to be, and unfortunately I've disliked more of the books I've read lately than I've liked. I can always go back to reccing the Starlight & Shadows trilogy by Elaine Cunningham for the DnD novel inclined who want to read about a drow other than Drizzt or Jarlaxle who is also a lady. The story actually explains why drow magic works on the surface when it didn't used to. Also a good series if you're a fan of fancy wizard/scruffy barbarian romances.

3) Rec a fic! (outside your character tag)

Once again, I'm not the reader I used to be, but every now and again, when I'm thinking about my love for Perc'ahlia from Campaign 1 of Critical Role, I remember AFK: a critrole MMO AU and how fucking good it was, both in concept and execution. The premise is that the characters are living in the modern world and all know each other through playing an MMO together.

4) Rec music!

Kill the Alarm's album Fire Away is nothing but bangers (especially the title song) and tastes of distilled 2008 to me. Been listening to those songs for a looooong time.

Eva Under Fire's cover of Separate Ways fucking slaps and it's been in heavy rotation lately.

5) Share one piece of advice!

Let me share a writing secret from your friendly neighbourhood linguist: in fiction, grammar is your bitch, and anyone who tells you different is trying to sell something. Obviously it's good to know grammar rules, and a certain amount of obeying those rules is necessary for coherent and clear communication, but everything after that is fair game. You can have your characters speak in run-on sentences, because people do that all the time in real life, and it doesn't even always sound awkward. You. Can. Put. Periods. In. Improper. Places. You know why? Because bending and breaking the rules can convey something that following the rules can't. Think of the way people convey tone and cadence in their posts online or in texts. You can totally do some of those tricks in your writing to get the vibe you want, especially in dialogue.

Related: "don't split your infinitives" and "never end a sentence with a preposition" are fake rules literally made up by some asshole scholars during the Renaissance because they thought English needed to be more like Latin. Don't pay any mind to that shit. You can quote me on that.

[ssj2hindudude]

If Valerie like sweets, is she good at baking (not cooking) just baking.

oh she any good with money?

and about tha…1st and 2nd Gen Potatoes: Where do they place from sting to waste their money on the money scale

Ok, first, she's mainly a connoisseuse, so she mostly likes to taste. But she and Kara have made a fair amount of basic and one or two complex desserts so she has most of the basics down. She can make something simple but to get something up to her standards, she has to actually buy it from a professional.

The girl passed college economics before puberty hit. Pretty sure she knows her way around a budget. Heck, she even did Kara's taxes last year.

As for the others...

Aru: Impulsive af and blows most of her cash on stupid stuff. As an adult she eventually sto- PSYCH, she still does it on occasion and it annoys Aiden and Abha to the point where she's been reduced to allowances well into her 40s.

Mini: On top of everything. Conservative shopper that only buys the necessities...by her definition that means having a medical wing built into their house. The woman has tried to get Priya to wear headgear but she's been using the same phone for over 20 years.

Brynne: Responsible spender everywhere that isn't a restaurant. But if the place sells anything edible, there goes her wallet and the restaurant's inventory. Hira and Ghata can't remember the last time they ate out without the place shutting down for a month afterwards...

Nikita and Sheela: Nikita's mostly the responsible spender and Sheela would regularly go to her for tips. After all, you need to be smart with your resources when making top of the line clothing lines. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop them from spending the price equivalent of ten Gucci bags on a tea set they saw in the mall window.

Kara: Read several books on home management and is now smart about spending. Especially conservative about it because even though the Sleeper gave her whatever she wanted, the man was still intimidating. Valerie still struggles to find her a gift for holidays and birthdays because she never wants anything!

Aiden: Responsible spender and manages the house budget...with help from Abha. He's smart, but only she is able to figure out the accounting numbers during tax season. Luckily, thanks to their combined efforts, they haven't gone bankrupt even with Aru buying limited edition LOTR merch every month.

Rudy: As a king, he has countless advisors giving him financial advice... none of which he listens to because Mini forced him to learn how to manage money with her so he doesn't make the common mistake of dividing his kingdom and causing it to collapse in on itself...also it's just the responsible thing to do! It's best this way. If she didn't keep an eye on his spending, he'd probably be in alleys spending most of the royal funds on straws. What? They were bendy with stripes!

Abha: Like I said, she helps Aiden with the taxes and can handle her money well. She's got a monthly budget with some funds set aside for... important things (and by important, she means The Latest Mystery Novels)

Priya: As crazy as her habits are, she's actually got good street smarts when it comes to cash. We're talking Toph Beifong going through the Fire Nation streets making bank good! While Abha is good at organizing, Priya actually knows how to get a good deal anywhere, including the Night Bazaar! You should've seen her the time she got a flying carpet for a quarter!

Ghata: She tries to keep her spending on the essentials like the good noodle she is. She's like Kara, scared to buy things, not because she's scared of her parents, but because she's trying not to waste money. Unfortunately, she's actually gotten more lectures because she almost never tells them when she actually needs something! She actually went barefoot to school for a week before Hira checked her drawer and found all her socks had holes in them!

Suru: He's still working on understanding the concept of money. No literally, he doesn't get why currency is a thing. Something about how everyone should just get what they need whenever they need it, but I'm sure it's nothing the capitalists need to hear. Let's just say he's still learning.

Sydney: A human calculator (ignore the part where they're a robot). Can calculate prices of anything like the dad from Everybody Hates Chris and can make quality decisions about purchases.

[writtenbyevie]

ik it's kinda late... but... can i send you some elemental asks? 🥺

if yes, pls answer me water 💦, rock 🪨, spirit 👻, and fire ❤️‍🔥

if no, then pls take this heart and enjoy your day 💝

it's never too late for asks ✨!!

I'd like to think we are all lying on the floor of a blanket fort together in a sugar comas just talking aimlessly 💖 time does not exist in the metaphorical slumber party

but anywho, the elemental asks 💫

water: how long have you been writing?

I've been writing since I was a little kid (mostly original work until this past year)! Part of my love for it I think comes from my dad. He's a quadriplegic, so we bonded a lot through words. We'd make up songs together, watch movies, and read books a lot. He'd also always tell me the most elaborate, zany, bedtime stories (often half asleep) that we still reference to this day. Combine that with my very, very overactive imagination, obsession with reading, and general curiosity and you get a nine year old writing short stories with a glitter pen on the swing set during recess.

rock: how do you deal with writer's block?

It depends on the type of block. If I lack interest in writing, I've found listening to music or reading something similar to the piece I'm working, while sat at my desk helps. (I primarily try to write there versus my bed. It makes it easier for me to switch my brain into sport mode 🧠🖊️) Walks are also really nice. Get out of the shame loop that I'm not being productive, which only makes things worse. I've found giving myself the opportunity to create without forcing myself is what tends to help me the most.

Now, if I want to write, but my brain says nahhh, I'll do some of the aforementioned stuff, but my main trick is to brain dump. I just put random words on the page related to what I'm trying to say and piece them together into sentences. Literally just words. They don’t even have to be coherent yet. I do it until I can slowly put together the puzzle of my own thoughts.

In the end I think my best advice for writer's block comes from theatre teacher I had who once told me when I was stuck on a scene, "to just write it badly."

Write it badly. At least you wrote. No one can craft empty space into anything, but you can work a surprisingly amount of magic on a pile of shit.

spirit: what's the best compliment you've ever received on your writing?

my beloved isa asked me this earlier!! (tldr: when people think I could be published, or have a strong emotional reaction to my work ✨)

fire: what's a scene you're dying to write?

oh man SO many for star-stitched, which is the sakuatsu fic I'm currently developing.

I know I probably shouldn't do this, but here's a dialogue exchange between Kiyoomi and Atsumu that was part of the inspiration for the star-stitched. I wrote this MONTHS AGO on my phone. I cannot WAIT to write the full scene surrounding this exchange. I'm not providing any context cuz spoilers, but all you need to know is Atsumu has been hurt emotionally and some out of character soup on Kiyoomi's end is involved.

Atsumu: will ya just stop with this bein' nice shit?

Kiyoomi: (slamming a kitchen cabinet) For fucksake, I am not being nice. I am incapable of nice. I've been called many things in my life, ranging from mildly complimentary to completely condemning of my character. But nice? Nice has never been one of them. Now honest? That I have always been. First and foremost, I am called honest. At the end of day, sometimes that is all I have. All I can call my own. I am honest. And you do not get to take that away from me because the truth is incongruent with your baseless self-loathing. Fuck you! I am not nice. I am honest. Your crocs give you cankles; your cologne is too strong; you've never known the meaning of an indoor voice. You are crass and loud and incorrigible and impulsive and beautiful and kind and funny and brilliant and unequivocally and irrefutably deserving of love. I am not fucking nice. I am unabashedly honest and undeniably right. And I will stand here and scream at you, until you believe me.

Atsumu: That may take a while. And you aren't known for your patience.

Kiyoomi: But I am renowned for my resilience. I will not relent. I will not give up. I will not abandon you. I will win. You are worthy of love at a minimum, Miya Atsumu, and there will never be a maximum. Now eat your fucking soup.

ANYWHO!!

like usual, I ended up rambling. thank you so much for the ask cat. I am sprinkling love on your head like its pixie dust ✨💖

[distress]

hii sorry if this is an annoying question but i was curious how you went about learning japanese. are you self taught or did you take courses? any tips or things you wish you knew or did?

Not annoying at all, this is literally the first ask I’ve gotten in over a year LMAO. If anything I hope my response isn’t annoying. But I do wanna clarify that I am absolutely not fluent, I am just pretty good conversationally & pronunciation-wise. That being said I have dabbled in a lot of learning methods though I haven’t formally studied in quite a while (but keep trying to get back into it). This is going to be probably not great advice but pls feel free to ask for clarification/specifics

How I studied at first was self-study over a summer to reach intermediate level because the elementary level classes were always full at my college. When I did that, I used the Genki Textbooks, which I bought at that time since studying with a physical book & workbook is a LOT easier IMO, but you can find them for free online.

Over about 2.5 months I made it through all of Genki I. IIRC I made sure to do 2 chapters a week, all their workbook pages & textbook exercises sans listening. I was on a time crunch, which helped my motivation and is the only reason I did it so quickly.

I then took Intermediate Japanese I & II at my college, and my teacher was not very good, so I didn’t gain much from it outside of the kanji quizzes. Most of my classmates were a bit behind me (like bc they took the elem with the same not great teacher) or literally fluent and taking an easy A lmao.

If you want to self-study, definitely “shop around” to find what method works best for you. A physical textbook & workbook has always been my preferred method. DuoLingo is really good for the absolute basics & REALLY good for learning hiragana and katakana but is dogshit for grammar. Also finding an ideal study environment is super important.

If you are going to self-study but need a concrete goal/motivator, I would recommend signing up to take the JLPT IF IT IS ACCESSIBLE FOR YOU. It is only offered once a year in specific cities however. Here are the US locations for this December: https://www.aatj.org/jlpt-us/ (other locations https://www.jlpt.jp/e/application/overseas_list.html) I live in Florida, and I’m still a 5.5 hour drive away from the nearest test site ( which I will go to -_- )

ANYWAY, if you are starting from the beginning, I would definitely recommend focusing heavily on Hiragana & Katakana until you can identify them (even if you can’t write them all from memory yet). When you start studying vocab and grammar, you should avoid relying on the romaji. Don’t be scared of making mistakes. If you already watch anime, slice of life can be really good for listening practice to hear non text-book language & general pronunciation (beware of anime accent). Kimi ni Todoke is great if you want to test your progress with listening comprehension.

I also follow a lot of Japanese tiktokers, both randos and people doing Japanese lessons. A lot of these accounts are really good for brief lessons on how the language is actually used vs how it is taught.

Finally, don't be too intimidated by Kanji and the alphabet in general. It is the hardest part of Japanese, but it isn't as hard as it seems. Kanji are basically made up of a bunch of stylized/combined katakana, so if you master katakana it will be easier to remember Kanji. I think my biggest regret is not mastering katakana early like I did with Hiragana. I feel like it stunted my ability to learn Kanji. Also, textbooks will make it seem like it isn't used as much as it actually is. Japan has an insane amount of loan words and many of them are only recently being the common use vs non loan version.

cjdidhfjdkdjfjg

Edited to add I am a firm believer that the most important part of using language is being understood. So if you find a place to speak or a conversation partner, don't stop speaking or refuse to speak if you aren't sure you're correct. Like, if you're at a restaraunt and say toire wa koko desu ka (is the toilet here) instead of asking toire wa doko desu ka (where is the toilet), you're probably gonna be understood and you'll be practicing speaking. If you get embarrassed just question if you have ever judged anyone for fumbling your native language. You probably have never paid it any mind! Embarrassment is a HUGE, massive part of why adults do not learn languages as quickly as kids.

[fantasywriter19]

1. Melody Riddle and the Sorcerer's Stone Ch.2 Leaving Home Forever

“A precious find?” I asked dubiously. “What is that even supposed to mean? And why would mom have you take me out of school right now?”

“I can answer everything right now… or I can take you home, and your mother can answer any questions you have.”

I looked around. No one was even doing the classwork anymore, their gazes were so fixated on the man. “Fine,” I sighed, compiling all my papers together to put them away.

As I did that though, he stood back up and walked over to the teacher to talk to her some more. What else could he really ask of her if all he came for was me? I thought, slowing my progress to stare at my teacher. If I really listened, I could hear others' thoughts, but today was an exception. All I could hear was static… like I was being blocked off.

I zipped up my black messenger bag and threw it over my head to rest on my shoulder, wanting nothing more than to go home and find out what the point of all this was. Obviously this man had some type of ability to block me from reading thoughts, so all I could do was hope he answered everything truthfully. I won’t be able to personally get through to his brain. That’s a fact.

“Thank you, Miss Kold, you have been most gracious,” Albus Dumbledore said as I edged toward them. He then turned to me, “Are you ready?”

“I guess,” I mumbled.

“Have a nice day, Mr. Dumbledore!” Ms. Kold said cheerily as I followed him out the room. “We’ll see you tomorrow, Melody.”

“Bye,” I waved apathetically.

I followed him through the halls, staring at his back with uncertainty. If he was really a wizard, then I couldn’t do anything against him. If he wasn’t really a professor of a school of magic — actually kidnapping me — how was I supposed to defend myself? I didn’t have a wand, or any means of knowing how to really use my magic besides for the mind reading — and that obviously wasn’t going to get me anywhere.

I stopped walking, “How do I know I can trust you to actually take me home right now?”

He turned, a small smile lighting his face up, “Did Orele teach you to be this cautious around strangers?”

Orele (uh-rel-ee) is my mom’s name. Personally, I was kind of jealous of it. It rolls across the tongue so perfectly, and it’s simply elegant. My name is basically just another word for pretty music.

“No. I’m just naturally wary of others’ intentions,” I admitted. “Never trusting a stranger is a fundamental rule in my book.”

“Is it only because you know you cannot read my mind that you don’t trust me?”

I took a timid step back, “You sensed that?”

“I am capable of many things, Miss Gray. Knowing when you are trying to read thoughts is one of them. I take it your mother doesn’t know?”

I hesitated. I told her about me reading other people’s minds at the zoo while I was talking to the snakes, but the way I described it was like an accident. If she knew I did it on purpose… well, anyone could take a wild guess at how any good mother would react to that.

“If I keep this a secret, just between the two of us, would it help you trust me?”

What other choice is there? I thought wryly. If he’s a kidnapper, he’s way too good at noticing what’s going on around him anyway. I have no other choice. “I guess so.”

“Just a bit of friendly advice. When you attend my school, the thoughts of both students and teachers are theirs and theirs alone. If I find out you have been invading their private thoughts, the only solution would be expulsion.”

My blood went cold at the thought. I might not have been the most respectful of students, but I had never been suspended or expelled — my mom would kill me, and then revive me just to kill me again… not literally, but she might as well… I sighed thoughtfully, a threat like that could only be given by a school principal, or in his case a headmaster.

“Do I make myself clear, Miss Gray?”

I nodded reluctantly, “Yes sir… let’s just go already.”

We made our way outside, but he stopped in the middle of the staircase leading to the sidewalk.

He held his arm out, “Hold tight to my arm.”

“Why?” I asked hesitantly.

“I am going to Disapparate to the house — call it teleportation, if you must.”

With a shrug, I locked my arm with his, only to be thrown off by the immediate sensation of my feet losing ground. I held onto his arm for dear life as I felt like I was being squeezed through a tube. I couldn’t tell what was happening to my body as it also seemed to stretch out and compress in tandem with the tube… until everything felt normal again, and I saw we were on the front step to my home.

I took deep breaths as I silently thanked the ground for being steady under my shaking legs, touching a hand to my queasy stomach. “Please tell me I don’t have to do that ever again,” I choked out.

He opened the front door to wave me inside, “I can’t promise you anything.”

Why couldn’t traveling for a wizard be less painful? That was worse than a rollercoaster, I thought as I heeded his gestures.

The first thing I saw was mom attempting to find a comfortable position to sit on the couch, looking up in dismay as I entered the living room. “Hi, Honey…” she anxiously stated.

“Okay…” I said, breathing out some more air as I placed my bag on dad’s tan leather armchair. “What is going on with letting this strange guy —” I gestured at the tall man “— take me out of school early?”

She folded her hands together as she looked at me, “I contacted Dumbledore to come here soon as we finished talking about magic. I want you to go to Hogwarts… it’s the best school in the world and, with Dumbledore there, it is the safest… I went there when I was younger, of course, so we’ll have to move to London with —”

“Mom,” I had to interrupt. This wasn’t making any sense. “Why London?”

“The school is hidden somewhere in Scotland, and there’s the station in London where the train travels directly from there to Hogwarts.”

I felt Mr. Dumbledore’s eyes on me, as if he were studying me. I blocked my emotions so as not to look completely vulnerable. Even if he’s keeping my secret, I don’t like him much…

“Why would we have to move? Is there not a school around here?” I asked.

“Well, yes, in Massachusetts… but I prefer that you go to Hogwarts. The school term starts in September, and —”

“Well then, not to be ungrateful about the early leave, but why was it so important for me to be here right now? Why not wait until school is done? What is the importance of this man being here right now when I’m not going to start school until September?” I asked.

Mom sighed, turning to Mr. Dumbledore with a small smile, “I’m sorry, but could I speak to Melody about this alone for a minute? Then I’ll make sure she gets ready.”

“Ready?” I shrieked. “We’re still in May… at least the last I checked!”

“Of course,” Mr. Dumbledore tilted his head and left the room, as though my confusion was a minor mishap.

“Mom, what —”

She looked at me, lowering her voice to a deep whisper. “Sit. Down.”

I paused. That was never a good sign. But come on! I’m frustrated! I have no clue what’s going on! I sat down next to her and she swiftly placed her hands in mine.

“You have a lot to learn about the wizarding world. The best place to do so will be at Hogwarts, even if you’re not enrolled as a student yet. Professor Dumbledore, and maybe others, will teach you.”

“Why can’t you? Aren’t you coming?” I felt a knot appear in my stomach, dreading the answer I sensed coming.

I thought correctly. She shook her head regretfully, “I have some things to take care of here. Besides, I can’t travel with this package.” At ‘package,’ she stared pointedly at her stomach. “I also have to handle your father before I come to London.”

I attempted to snatch my hands away, but she held tightly to me.

“Before you yell again,” she whispered dangerously low, “it’s for the best. I don’t expect you to understand now, but you will in time. He… he can’t know about the wizarding world. It wouldn’t be beneficial to him.”

I built an emotional barrier in my head to keep from getting more upset. Being magical should feel like a blessing, not a curse, “Why can’t I stay here until you can go? It’d at least give me the chance to say goodbye to dad.”

Mom bit her lip, “I can’t teach you what Dumbledore can…. And before you worry so much about your father… you should know that he isn’t your real father.”

She’d said the last sentence so quickly that I wasn’t sure I heard her correctly. “I’m sorry, what did you say? He’s… I mean, I’m not… he isn’t —”

“No. Jim isn’t,” she asserted. “If you’re good while you’re with Dumbledore, maybe then I’ll tell you about your real father. In the meantime… I suggest you forget Jim.”

“It is not that simple!” I snapped, aghast by how suddenly she was trying to brush all the news off. Nothing was making any sense, and she wasn’t even giving me a moment to process all of it. “He’s been my dad for ten years, how are you just going to expect me to forget him?”

Though she was sad, a smile pushed through, “That’s my girl. I’m glad I did one thing right.”

I blinked back at her, “… What?”

A breathy laugh burst from her chest, “You look so lost, let me explain… one of the things I can’t stand in the wizarding world has been Pureblood supremacy. It’s where Pureblood wizards look down on everyone who isn’t. There are the Muggleborn wizards, born to non magical families, and there are also the Halfbloods that are a mix. There are more Halfblood wizards than anything, and Purebloods are dying out, but the last thing I need is for you to fall into the category of kids who will look down on Muggleborns.”

My mouth set into a thin line, I opened my mouth to retort further only for her to quickly place a finger against my lips.

She glanced around warily, dropping her hand from my mouth before whispering, “I know it’s all very sudden, and you want a better explanation, but seeing as we haven’t been given much time to do so… my hands are tied.”

Digesting the information, I looked away to see Professor Dumbledore standing back in the doorway. “Pardon me, Orele, but do you happen to have any lemon drops?”

“On the counter in the kitchen,” she readily answered, not even looking his way.

“Thank you,” he inclined his head and walked away again.

Mom touched a gentle hand to my cheek, tracing her thumb softly against the skin. “For what I mentioned before, ideally I need you to keep that mentality. Don’t look down on others because they were born with Muggles. Don’t even look down on others who — though born to a wizarding family — don’t have any magic of their own — they’re called squibs.

“My other rules, whether during your time at Hogwarts this summer or in the years to come, are these: respect your teachers — I mean it. I’ve been too lenient about you talking back to your teachers here. I don’t need you doing the same at Hogwarts. When you talk to a teacher, you will address them with sir, ma’am or professor. Same with the man in the other room, he is called Professor Dumbledore: say it with me.”

“Mom, I’m not a child, I get it —”

“Say it with me,” she stressed.

I sighed, mumbling “Professor Dumbledore” in sync with her.

“Yes?” he appeared in the doorway, the bowl of lemon drops in his hand while he popped one into his mouth.

“One more thing, Melody,” she said, moving her hand from my cheek to my chin to make sure I looked her in the eyes. “I can’t stop you from making enemies, but I will not stand by you making no friends. Make at least one friend this year.”

“Mom. Don’t I have until the first day of school for you to give me that warning?”

She grinned, “I may forget. Besides, it gives you plenty of time to come up with a plan for making a friend.”

“Thanks for the confidence, mom, I truly appreciate it,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“There goes your sarcasm,” she brushed her hand through my hair. “Now you better go get your things ready. Take Professor Dumbledore with you.”

“But mom…” my emotions were widespread. A large mixture of worried and confused. How am I supposed to pretend like any of this is okay? Or normal? “How long until you come get me?”

"Oh Melody, I know what you're thinking about... your birthday at the end of this month.”

I forced another emotional barrier up and nodded. “I’ve never had a birthday without you and dad.”

Mom entwined her pinkie with mine, “I promise that as soon as I come get you, we will spend a whole day together to celebrate it. It may be late, but it will be the best one yet. Okay?”

Reluctantly, I nodded, standing so I could start packing to try occupying my mind. Some magical day this is. I looked at Professor Dumbledore, “Follow me.” When I led him down the stairs to my room, I barely made it to the bottom before he took out his wand.

My closet door opened, and out shot my black and red suitcase. Once it made it to the middle of the room and opened, everything flew neatly into it. When it zipped back up, all that was left were my bed and bookshelf.

I walked forward and picked it up by the handle. It was heavy, but nothing was spilling out from the weight. I gave him one look and said, “Cheater.”

His eyes twinkled humorously.

Without all my clothes, pictures, and books.. my room seemed incredibly bare. I looked around, knowing it would be forever, perhaps even never, before I saw this room again. The possibility didn’t lighten my mood, because my life seemed to be taking a strange turn… in my own mind, for the worst.

I followed him back up the stairs and through the living room to the front door. Mom was already waiting by the exit.

She threw her arms around me once I set the suitcase down, “I’ll miss you Honey.”

“Jeez mom, I get that I’m going to leave, but you seem to be rushing me out the door,” I said, hugging her back. “Want me to go that badly?”

She chuckled hollowly, “Never. I’ll count the days till I see you again.”

We pulled apart. I reached for my suitcase, only it wasn’t where I put it… it was already outside, floating two feet off the ground next to Professor Dumbledore.

“I take that back. He’s rushing me out the door.”

“At least I know that so long as you’re with him, you’re safe,” mom stated.

My eyebrows furrowed, “This is the second time you’ve mentioned ‘safe.’ Are you going to explain what is so dangerous that I need him more than you and dad?”

“There are a great many dangers in this world, especially the wizarding world. I don’t know the situation in Britain at this point in time, but I’ll bet it’s the same as when I left.”

“Then might I suggest that staying here would be safer?” I had to ask. Last ditch attempt.

She shook her head vigorously, “No. Now shoo.”

I sighed, stepping outside next to the headmaster.

“Take my arm,” Professor Dumbledore said, holding his arm out.

I hesitated, looking back at mom who waved back at me with that same sad smile.

“Don’t worry, you will see your mother again.”

It kind of reassured me, so I put my arm over his, and he Disapparated.

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