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adorkablephil · 7 years

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Fic: How To Be A Sexy Nerd

Title: How To Be A Sexy Nerd Summary: “If you want something, just do it, Phil.” Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4.7K Tags: Smut, Established Relationship, Light Dom/sub Play, Cum Play, Facials, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Just lots of sex okay? Author’s Note: Inspired by the DanAndPhilGAMES video “How To Be A Sexy Nerd” (specifically, the exchange at 1:10) Also available on AO3 here

How To Be A Sexy Nerd

Editing the wikiHow video for the gaming channel, Dan watched Phil hesitantly pop a single marshmallow into his mouth and then shyly hide behind the bag of candy. Why was it always so difficult to get Phil to just do the things he wanted to do? Phil worried so much about making other people happy that he seemed to feel like he needed to earn any kind of reward for himself. Dan shook his head in fond amusement.

He paused the video, the screen frozen on an image of Phil hiding adorably behind the pink and white bag of marshmallows, his eyes sweet and innocent in his “smol bean” onscreen persona, but his eyes also looking a little guilty.

If Dan had learned anything from therapy, it was that everyone had a right to be happy, even him. And definitely Phil. And suddenly, just looking at Phil’s hesitant eyes above that pink and white bag of candy, he saw his whole relationship with Phil in a different light.

Phil was an extremely considerate lover, always had been. Perhaps because of the difference in their ages and levels of experience when they first got together, he’d always been very focused on Dan’s comfort, Dan’s needs, Dan’s pleasure … and Dan, the selfish fuck, had never even noticed until this moment.

He looked again at Phil’s eyes on the screen. Phil might insist on competing for marshmallows to give himself an excuse to eat them, but Dan knew from years of experience that Phil would also eat an entire bag of marshmallows in secret, indulging himself in private and then apologizing like a guilty child when he got caught. He had the desires, the greed, but he was just ashamed to own them.

What else was Phil wanting, but feeling too guilty to take? What else did he secretly imagine, secretly covet, but feel wrong about? Phil was a greedy little shit when it came to sweets and cereal, so … why was he always so generous in bed? Why didn’t that side of him ever show in their sex life?

Dan fretted about it throughout the rest of the editing process, then couldn’t seem to stop. He couldn’t help feeling like he should have noticed this. Should have noticed it years ago. No matter what they did in bed, and they’d done plenty, Phil was never greedy. Dan felt like a selfish git that he’d been reaping the rewards of Phil’s overdeveloped sense of generosity the entire time they’d been together without even realizing it.

It had been difficult to coax Phil into eating a marshmallow when they were making the video, and even then he’d seemed ashamed of the indulgence. If getting Phil to eat a marshmallow had been that difficult, how the hell was Dan going to coax Phil into taking what he really wanted in bed? What did Phil even want in bed? Dan realized with just the slightest hint of self-loathing that he honestly wasn’t sure he knew.

That night when Phil fucked him, it wasn’t all scented candles and soft music, it wasn’t particularly gentle, but that was because Dan kept grunting, “Harder. Jesus, Phil, harder!” And Phil, as always, gave Dan what he needed, what he wanted, and so Phil thrust into him like a piston, and those pale hands pinched Dan’s nipples and stroked his cock, and Dan came so hard he literally saw stars, and Phil groaned above him, thrusting again and again through his own apparently spectacular orgasm shortly thereafter.

But as he lay there afterward, their heavy breathing loud in the bedroom, the sweat cooling on their bodies, Phil’s arm lying limp and relaxed across his waist, Dan couldn’t help wondering how much more spectacular it might be for Phil if he worried more about his own pleasure and less about Dan’s.

And he started scheming.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” he said the next morning as Phil was stretching and groping around for his glasses.

“Yeah?” Phil asked, then yawned.

“What do you like in bed?”

Phil paused mid-yawn, which looked pretty hilarious, then snapped his mouth shut with an audible clack of teeth. His brows drew together in an expression of obvious confusion, and he put his glasses on as if that might help him better understand the situation. His eyes roamed Dan’s torso, bared by the sheet that had dropped to his waist, then returned to meet Dan’s gaze. “Was something wrong with last night?”

“Of course not, you dork. It was incredible, as always,” Dan leaned in for a reassuring kiss, and Phil’s lips lingered against his. Neither of them had ever let a little morning breath get in their way. “But I can’t help wondering … what would you want to do if you weren’t focusing on me?”

Phil’s brows drew even closer together. Serious frown territory now. “You don’t want me to focus on you? You’re the one I want to have sex with Dan … of course I’m going to focus on you.”

Dan nodded slowly, an idea beginning to form in his mind. “So … you like to please me, right? Sexually.”

Phil’s forehead smoothed and his lips curved in a smirk. “Oh yeah,” he breathed, a hand rising to stroke Dan’s chest, moving slowly, teasingly toward a nipple.

“Well, you know what I really want, Phil?” Dan asked, voice gone soft and low, just the way he knew turned Phil on the most.

“What?” Phil asked, head leaning close, fingers straying away from Dan’s chest now and down below the sheet.

Dan reached down to catch Phil’s hand, interlacing their fingers to make sure it didn’t seem like a rejection. “I want to watch you be selfish.”

Phil’s eyes narrowed as if he expected some sort of trap. “Selfish?”

Dan let his eyes lower to half-mast, arched his neck in a way he knew drove Phil crazy, and moaned, “I want you to take me, do whatever you want, do whatever you’ve thought about or fantasized about but thought you shouldn’t. Do it to me, Phil. Whatever you want. Don’t worry about me. I want this.” He let his voice go even a little deeper. “I really want this, Phil.”

“You want me to,” Phil gulped, his Adam’s apple bobbing nervously, “you want me to … do what exactly?”

“I want you to not worry about me,” Dan reiterated. “I’m game for anything. It turns me on to see you turned on, and the sexiest thing I can imagine is watching you really let go and do whatever you’ve always wanted to do. So…” Dan pushed the sheets down with his feet until they were both flagrantly, gloriously naked in the morning sunlight, “just do it. Whatever you want.”

Phil’s face looked contemplative now. He tilted his head, gazing intently at Dan’s face. “You really mean it.” It wasn’t a question. It was him realizing Dan was serious.

Dan nodded. “I really mean it. Whatever you want. Don’t worry about me. Do what you want and I guarantee I’ll like it, because I’ll love watching you get off.”

Phil’s eyes narrowed as he sent a long, lingering glance down the entire length of Dan’s bare body, then back up to Dan’s eyes. He nodded slowly.

“We’re going to need some breakfast and a shower. Then I want you back in this bed,” Phil said firmly, then glanced uncertainly to gauge Dan’s expression. Dan licked his lips and nodded with a smile.

Phil looked pretty nervous by the time they made it back to the bedroom. They were both wearing pajama bottoms but nothing else. Phil hesitated near the doorway, eyes glancing between Dan and the bed, then down at the floor. Dan realized he’d lost some ground while they were eating and showering.

He stepped close to Phil so that their bare chests just lightly brushed against each other, the glancing touch more exciting than a more overt come-on might have been. He leaned in to kiss Phil, let the kiss grow increasingly heated, let them both begin to press their bodies together, their hands roaming, and then Dan pulled away to whisper in Phil’s ear, “You were going to show me. Right? Please? Whatever you want … I want you to do it. Whatever you want from me … I want you to take it.” He could hear that Phil’s breath had sped up at his words, so he pushed his advantage. He leaned forward to tug on Phil’s earlobe with his teeth and whispered. “Just do it, Phil. I want it. I want you to. Please.”

The fall to the bed knocked the breath out of him, stunning him into silence as he gazed up at Phil still standing beside the bed. Phil had pushed him! Dan lay on the bed and felt a bit of excitement start to build in his stomach. He gazed up at Phil, who gazed down at him. Phil’s face looked a bit like it had when they stepped out onto the stage for their very first TATINOF performance: uncertain, scared, but also determined and really fucking excited.

Dan started to push at the waistband of his pajama bottoms, but Phil said, “Don’t bother. We won’t be getting to that for a while.” He stripped his own pajamas off, and Dan saw that his cock was already half hard. “We’re going to focus on me for a while, since you seem to want that so much.” Phil smiled at him, and it was a lovely smile, a combination of nerves and love and something darker … something Dan hadn’t seen in Phil’s face before. That excited knot in his stomach tightened.

Phil climbed on top of Dan on the bed. Dan’s legs were still hanging off the edge, his feet still on the floor, but Phil just straddled his chest, completely naked, cock bobbing in front of Dan’s face and licked his lips. He took hold of himself and aimed the head of his cock at Dan’s mouth, which Dan opened obediently.

“No,” Phil barked. God, he sounded so different! “Keep your mouth closed.” And then Phil rubbed the head of his cock against Dan’s lips, back and forth a few times, before whispering, “Stick out your tongue.” Dan stuck out his tongue, keeping his lips otherwise closed, and felt the silky tip of Phil’s cock rub against the sensitive skin of his tongue, the taste of Phil’s pre-come hitting his tastebuds. Phil moaned low in his throat, which made Dan moan, too.

“You can put your tongue away for now,” Phil said in what sounded like a perfectly normal voice, but Dan caught the nervous glance he shot toward Dan’s eyes. Dan licked his lips provocatively and then closed his mouth, nodding slightly in case Phil needed encouragement.

“Close your eyes,” Phil said, and Dan obeyed immediately, only to feel the smooth hardness of Phil’s cock rub against his cheek, then his chin, his jaw, all over his face. Not just the head now, but the entire length of Phil’s cock, the occasional tickle of pubic hair, rubbing against his face. “Keep your eyes closed,” he heard, “but open your mouth.” Dan opened his mouth.

Phil eased his cock into Dan’s mouth slowly. Even now he was considerate, of course he was, but this was still the most selfish Dan had ever seen him. He wasn’t doing anything for Dan, just taking his own pleasure, and it was ridiculously hot. “Tongue,” Phil said. “No sucking, just … lick.” Dan did his best. As Phil slowly eased in and out of his mouth, he laved that hard flesh with his tongue, trying to hit all the most sensitive spots, trying to caress Phil with as much of the surface of his tongue as possible. “Oh god,” Phil murmured under his breath. Then his hands came up to softly stroke both sides of Dan’s face as he said, “Open your eyes. Watch my face. And suck me.” He reached up to grasp the headboard for balance and then slowly thrust his cock further into Dan’s mouth, staring down at him to watch.

Without Phil’s hand holding it down, his hard cock wanted to jut straight up, so sucking was really the only way to keep it in Dan’s mouth anyway. He stared up at Phil’s face, those pale eyes wide with pupils gone huge, and sucked as Phil thrust into his mouth, then pulled slowly out again, only to slide back in, over and over. Phil was watching Dan’s lips around his cock, but Dan was watching Phil’s face, just as Phil had told him to do. Phil groaned again. “Jesus. That looks so pretty.” And he reached a finger to touch Dan’s lips where they spread tight around his cock. Phil closed his eyes and his own mouth fell open, his breath fast and harsh. Dan sucked as hard as he could, trying to use his tongue whenever possible, but Phil’s cock was thrusting faster now and it was difficult to use much technique.

Phil’s eyes flew open again and he watched Dan’s face intently for a moment, thrusting a few more times, muttering under his breath, “Suck me. Yeah. Like that. Oh … oh god…” And then Phil’s jaw clenched and suddenly Dan’s mouth was empty as Phil’s hand flew over his cock and come splattered onto Dan’s cheek and parted lips. As Phil’s hand continued to move, Dan felt an additional few drops hit his nose and forehead. Then he felt come hit his chin and begin sliding down the sensitive skin of his throat.

He felt filthy … in the best possible way.

Phil’s hand slowed until he was just sitting there, straddling Dan’s chest, his softening cock in his hand, gazing down at Dan’s face, and he looked almost frightened. Dan needed to salvage this quickly if he didn’t want Phil to devolve into some spiral of guilt and shame. He licked his lips, tasting Phil’s come there, and with a little smile purred, “I like your come on my face.”

A hesitant returning smile quirked Phil’s lips. “Yeah?”

Dan nodded. “And I loved watching you. It was so hot.”

Phil’s cheeks looked a bit pink. “Oh. Um. Good.” He was grinning now, like he couldn’t help it. He started to climb off Dan’s chest, and Dan couldn’t help but reach out a hand to touch Phil’s thigh as it moved.

“We’re not done, are we?” he asked. “Because … you know … that was great … but … isn’t there … I don’t know … anything else you want to do?”

Phil chuckled, and the sound felt warm and dark and deep in Dan’s chest. “We don’t have to do everything all at once, do we?” He pushed at the duvet and encouraged Dan to move up onto the bed so that they lay side-by-side on top of the sheet.

“No,” Dan agreed, feeling a little disappointed. “I just hoped…”

“Okay. Then I want you to use your fingers. Wipe every bit of my come off your face and suck it off your own fingers. Slow.” Phil’s little smile looked more confident again now. “I want to watch you enjoy it.”

Dan bit his lip and closed his eyes for a second. This was turning him on even more than he’d expected … and he’d expected quite a bit. He opened his eyes to watch Phil’s face, stroking a finger along his own cheek and then sliding that finger into his own mouth, sucking slowly, tasting the familiar tang of Phil’s come, enjoying the heat in Phil’s expression as he watched Dan’s lips. Dan threw in a bit of a “Mmmmm” to show his enjoyment, and Phil’s entire expression sharpened. Getting his whole face clean took a little while, but Phil’s eyes never looked away, and Dan made sure to make it clear that he liked it.

When Dan’s face was clean, Phil leaned in to kiss him, slow and languorous. He’d just come, after all, so he wasn’t feeling the urgency that still burned Dan’s body from the inside out. Dan tried to press closer, but Phil pushed him away a bit, chiding him, “Not yet.” Dan shivered, because he heard the promise in those words. Not yet, but soon.

Phil slid his hands along Dan’s arm to his hand, twining their fingers together and then bringing them toward his face. “Sometime,” he hummed contentedly, “I think I’d like to ride you.” He slid one of Dan’s fingers into his mouth and sucked gently. Dan’s cock throbbed at the sensation as if it were imagining itself in that warm mouth. Phil slid the finger out of his mouth and continued, “Not like the other times, before. This time I’ll ride you just how I like. Find just the right angle. Go as slow or as fast as I want.”

“God yes,” Dan breathed as Phil suckled another of his fingers.

“But not this time,” Phil said, and Dan groaned. “This time I think I’ll just play with you until I’m ready to go again.” He sucked another of Dan’s fingers, flicking it with his tongue, and Dan’s hips lifted off the bed without him meaning to do it. “Does that sound okay?”

Dan could still hear just the tiniest hint of uncertainty in Phil’s voice, so he replied quickly, “That sounds fucking fantastic,” and Phil chuckled, sounding more confident again.

Minutes or hours or weeks passed—Dan had no idea because he’d lost all sense of time and space—while Phil conducted the most leisurely and torturous exploration of Dan’s body possible. Always before, Dan had known the touches were for his own pleasure, but now Phil seemed to just be enjoying himself without minding at all that Dan’s cock hadn’t been touched since this all started about a thousand years ago. The closest they’d come had been when Phil had kissed and licked Dan’s belly button and the narrow line of hair beneath, but he’d been careful to avoid touching where Dan most wanted that tongue to stray.

Eventually, when Dan was well past the point of wondering whether it might actually be possible to die of sexual frustration, Phil knelt up and Dan saw that he was slowly wanking himself to hardness again. “Hmmm,” Phil mused, looking down at the cock in his hand, “look at that. I think I might be ready to fuck you now. Would you like that?” Dan opened his mouth to say yes please yes now or I’m going to die, but Phil spoke again before Dan got any words out. “Oh, wait. It doesn’t matter. We’re doing what I want.” Then he grinned, and it was the most evil grin Dan had ever seen on Phil’s face, and it was the best thing he’d ever seen in his life.

“Hands and knees,” Phil commanded, and Dan hurried to comply. Behind him, he felt Phil’s hands stroke his back, his buttocks, his thighs, pushing his legs further apart. He heard the click of the lube bottle cap, and then a cold, wet finger was teasing around the edge of his hole. “I don’t really feel like much foreplay,” Phil said, and Dan almost wept. What the hell had the previous hour or two been then? “I just want to fuck you now. It might take me a while to come a second time, though. I’m sure you won’t mind being patient.” The slick finger slid inside him and Dan thought how humiliating it would be to come from one finger in his ass without a single touch to his cock.

“I’m patient as fuck,” Dan ground out, “as you may have fucking noticed.”

Phil chuckled again. “Oh, this is definitely getting demonetized with all that swearing, Dan.” Dan rolled his eyes, though he knew Phil couldn’t see him. “I bet you’d like me to touch your cock, wouldn’t you?” There was a challenge in his voice.

Dan saw the trick, but he’d started this game. “It doesn’t matter what I want. I want you to do what you want. So what is it you want, Phil?”

A second finger joined the first sliding in and out of him, and Phil replied, “I really want to fuck you. Slow at first, because I like that, feeling every inch of you, how hot you are inside, how tight.” A third finger, and Dan groaned again. When was Phil going to get the hell on with it? “Then we’ll just see where that takes us.” A moment later the crown of Phil’s cock was pressing against Dan’s hole, and as he began a slow slide into Dan’s body, Phil’s hands came to grip Dan’s hips. His fingers gripped hard, harder than he’d done in the past. Dan hoped they would leave marks, so he could look at the bruises and remember this when he showered tomorrow, because this moment was absolute heaven.

Phil had fucked him hundreds of times, but he’d never been this slow about it. Dan wasn’t usually patient enough. He always hurried things along, pushing his hips back to speed up Phil’s thrusting, pulling Phil’s hand around to wrap around his cock; but this time he just let Phil set the pace.

And it was excruciating.

Phil stroked smoothly into Dan’s body and out again, filling him and then withdrawing, glancing against his prostate occasionally as if by accident. And Dan just let him, though his desperation grew with every gliding thrust. It seemed to go on forever. Sweat soaked Dan’s hair, making it stick to his face. He tasted salt on his lips and saw drops of sweat fall off his nose onto the sheets beneath them. He refused to beg, determined to let Phil do this the way he wanted, but he couldn’t contain the desperate grunts and groans issuing from his mouth.

When Phil’s thrusts finally began to speed up, then began ramming into him harder and harder, just the way Dan liked best, he felt the familiar tightening low in his belly, in his balls, and he knew he was going to come even though Phil hadn’t touched his cock at all this whole time.

“Phil,” Dan panted in desperate relief, “Jesus, Phil, I’m about to come…”

And Phil, that fucking asshole—pun definitely intended—abruptly stopped moving. He curled his body so that his chest pressed against Dan’s back, the sweat conducting heat between them like an arc of electricity, the movement pressing Phil’s cock even deeper inside Dan’s body, and they both groaned together.

“You don’t get to come yet,” Phil breathed in Dan’s ear. “This isn’t about you, remember?” Dan felt his balls tighten even more and clenched his eyes shut. Phil being selfish was apparently his new kink. “This is about me,” Phil reminded him in a voice deeper than his usual timbre. “This is about what I want. And what I want is to fuck you, and watch you take it. I want to use you like a fucking sex toy, Dan, and I want to watch your face while I do it … so roll over.”

Dan rolled onto his back faster than should have been humanly possible and thank FUCK Phil pushed back inside him almost immediately. In this position, Phil didn’t hit his prostate as frequently, so Dan’s orgasm receded slightly. But only slightly. He still felt on the knife’s edge. Phil supported himself on his hands so that his face was too far away to kiss, his belly too far away to rub against Dan’s cock, but Dan simply raised his hands above his head and let them lie there on the pillow, showing Phil his utter submission, his complete willingness to experience whatever Phil chose to do to him, and that’s when he saw the expression on Phil’s face twist to something almost like pain as his thrusts grew deeper and harder and faster until—still gazing into that beautifully ecstatic face—Dan suddenly felt orgasm quake through his body like nothing he’d ever felt before, and his hands came up to clutch at Phil’s arms, looking for something to anchor him in this overwhelming sea of sensation. Phil immediately lowered himself onto Dan’s body so that his belly rubbed against Dan’s cock with every thrust, making Dan cry out with the exquisite increase in intensity, and Phil was kissing him as they moaned into each other’s mouths and he felt Phil throbbing inside him, and he knew that Phil was coming too.

He didn’t know how much later—it was possible he’d actually blacked out—Dan found that Phil’s limp, sweaty weight on top of him was getting a bit uncomfortable. For such a skinny guy, he could be remarkably heavy when he was completely relaxed.

Which he obviously was in the aftermath of all that.

Dan shoved at Phil’s shoulder, trying to make the giant lump move, and Phil grumbled drowsily as he slid over to lay by Dan’s side, then cuddled up against him like a friendly puppy. Dan couldn’t help smiling to himself at the sudden transformation. He wrapped his arms around Phil and they just lay there together for long enough that Dan began to wonder if Phil had fallen asleep.

Then he heard Phil say very quietly, “So that was okay?”

Dan actually choked, then coughed, then laughed a little. “Okay?”

Phil leaned away so he could see Dan’s face. “Yeah. I mean, I know I was a little … but you’re not … it seemed like you were okay with it … so … it was okay?”

“You said you like rewards in life, right?”

Phil looked baffled by this apparent abrupt change of subject. “Uh … yeah.”

“I’ll be right back. Stay there.” Dan got up and left the room.

He had a hiding place in the kitchen that Phil didn’t know about. Just an empty space behind the jars of curry, but Phil didn’t know Dan hid stuff there. But that’s where he went now.

A moment later, Dan walked—unashamedly naked and carrying three bags of pink and white mini-marshmallows—back to the bedroom.

“I told you that you can just have the things you want, just because you want them. But if you like rewards, then I will fucking reward the fuck out of you for what you did these past couple hours, because you deserve another fucking BONCA for that!” And he tossed all three bags of marshmallows onto the bed. “If rewarding you means you’ll do it again, I’ll buy you all the marshmallows at the shop. And order more from Tesco online.”

Phil ducked his head, and the blush spread across more of his pale skin than just his face. “So you liked it then.” It wasn’t a question. It was him realizing the truth of it.

“Yes, you complete and utter spoon! If you couldn’t tell that I liked it, then we’re just going to have to do it over and over again until you learn the signs. Like all the moaning. Was that a clue? And what about the explosive orgasm without you ever even touching my fucking cock? Yes, I fucking liked it!”

Phil hid his head in the pillow, leaving Dan uncertain what exactly was going on in that utterly insane, beloved head of his. A silence stretched between them. Finally, growing concerned, Dan crawled back onto the bed and asked tentatively, “Didn’t you like it?”

Like an overly familiar octopus, Phil was suddenly wrapped around Dan, all long limbs and affectionate clinging. “I loved it,” he rumbled in Dan’s ear. “Much better than marshmallows.”

“Wow,” Dan joked. “High praise!” He ran a hand through Phil’s hair, pushing his fringe out of his eyes. “But seriously, you know you can have what you want, right? I want to know what you want, and I want you to have it. I don’t want you to only think about me, okay? Not anymore.” He stopped and considered. “Okay, maybe sometimes it can be all about me, and sometimes it can be all about you … because this was pretty fun … but mostly let’s have it be about both of us, okay?”

Phil nodded, his head rubbing against Dan’s like a weird cranial caress, and Dan wished for the thousandth time that he could actually tweet something real, something completely inappropriate, like the fact that today wikiHow had miraculously improved his sex life.

#phanfiction #phanfic #phan #phan smut #smutty phan #myphanfic #i will have to reblog this in the morning for other time zones

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auroraphilealis · 7 years

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Steal My Heart (steal my whole life too) Chapter Thirteen

Steal My Heart (steal my whole life too) 13/24

Genre: Chaptered, fantasy AU, Prince!Phil, Thief!Dan, romance, enemies to lovers, angst and fluff, slow burn (like serious slow burn)

Warnings: some violence, mentions of death (no main characters), dark magic, descriptions of wounds/blood, some hints of sexual scenes (but no actual smut), murder, dangerous situations, stealing/thievery

Summary: Captain of the Royal Guard and Prince of Morellia, Philip Lester has never been given the chance to find love. Instead, he’s run from a system that works to end class differences and improve equality for its citizens. Happy as he is to make the world a better place, Phil can’t help feeling bitter towards his ancestors for making it impossible for him to find someone who will actually love him for more than just his title, and strives instead for a life of justice and doing good - only to meet his match in the King of Thieves, a man who will change everything he once thought he knew in life. Together, they must depart on a quest to save the kingdom, and, in the process, destroy their differences and find their own form of love.

Word count: 240,000+

Updates: Sunday

Thanks so much to @botanistlester for betaing this giant monster, as she’s been super helpful and encouraging with her little comments and endless excitement. We couldn’t have done it without you <3

Disclaimer: In no way do I claim that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil

For reference, @snowbunnylester is Phil, @ineverhadmyinternetphase is Dan

Hey guys! I just wanted to make a quick note at the top of this chapter. There’s been a lot of… backlash and comments regarding the previous chapter of this fic, and it’s been a bit of an emotional roller coaster for both me and @ineverhadmyinternetphase. We’d like to address a few of these things here.

1. We promised/warned at the beginning of this fic that the rating would never go over pg-13. There will never be an overabundance of nsfw content other than implied and a little bit of nudity. This is down to a few things. I am ace flux, which means that I experience every form of asexuality at different levels at different times. There are days where I am completely repulsed, and days when I am fine, but I am always asexual. Julia, meanwhile, is always sex repulsed. This means that, as a duo, we made the decision to never write anything more than implied smut, particularly as that is something Julia is completely against, and I understand her completely as I have days where I am completely against it as well. I would like to reassure our readers who were worried we’d change the rating or include nsfw that this will never happen, while also informing those readers who are disappointed by this why we choose to keep the rating at pg-13. If this is a deal breaker for you, we apologize, but we will not be changing the rating at any time.

2. The entire debate/fight over Phil being a bottom has extremely upset me. I talked a lot about it on my blog, but essentially, I just want to say that both Julia and I feel that sex isn’t about power, but about mutuality, and affection, and that is why, as you will see, Dan and Phil share a very versatile lifestyle in this fic. Please don’t attack us for choosing to write them in this way; there is nothing wrong with preferring Phil as a top, but there is something wrong in attacking the others for doing something that defies the norm in the phandom.

3. Please do not go to Julia (@ineverhadmyinternetphase) regarding anything that has to do with the implied nsfw content of this fic. I’m super sex repulsed most of the time, so anything to do with asking for smut/nsfw content makes me want to throw up. Feel free to come chat to me about literally anything else though, including why I want to write fics that don’t have nsfw themes (there’s a whole bunch of acearo goodness in that answer xD)

4. We will never write any scene outside of this fic that is nsfw as a side chapter or a bonus chapter etc… This is because this makes Julia incredibly uncomfortable to think of her characters as doing nsfw things in general outside of the implied stuff we did write, and it makes me uncomfortable to even consider writing something without my co author for our co-authored fic, if that makes sense.

5. Please read this post, in regards to some of the unfriendly comments we have been receiving in some ways.

(AO3 Link) (Masterlist) (Previous)

Chapter Thirteen

The stars were out.

Phil was shivering and emotionally drained, giggling against Dan's lips and shuffling to get more comfortable pressed against him, limbs curled around his thief’s. His thief was so warm against him, even in the cold of his cave; maybe it was the fact that he was flushed, or maybe Dan was just always warm, but it hardly mattered. Phil was soaking it all up, warm from the inside out, and impossibly giddy after what they’d just done, what they’d shared together. He’d never felt so… close, to another human being, and to have shared that with Dan… it meant more to Phil than he could explain.

The animal skins beneath their bodies were covered in sweat, but Phil didn’t care. He was too busy kissing Dan, smiling against his lips, enjoying the way the other man had relaxed completely next to him, pliant to his every desire

They were dressed again, sort of. Phil had blushed so much at the end there that Dan had chuckled at him and retrieved both pairs of pants for them to pull back on. It had soothed Phil quite a bit, to not be completely exposed anymore, and Dan had been respectful as always, keeping his gaze above the waist as Phil got dressed. Now, though, now Phil couldn’t seem to stop touching all of Dan’s scarred and exposed skin, drawing pointless patterns against him like the love-sick fool that he was, and teasing at the dark marks Dan had taught him to leave properly.

“How’s that, then?” Phil mumbled, pressing two fingers into one such mark on Dan’s skin - one of the very few marks on Dan’s body that Phil himself had left, rather than - someone else.

Honestly, Phil had so many questions about all that. He wanted to trace every single one of Dan’s scars and ask him he’d gotten them, but he was far too busy feeling all fluttery and giddy inside to bother the warm atmosphere the two of them had buried themselves inside.

Besides… they’d have time for questions later, surely.

Phil was warm, so warm, against him as Dan lay on his bed of furs, their limbs entirely wrapped together. He had his head on Phil's shoulder, with Phil's arms tight around him, and their legs entangled under a soft blue blanket. The stars twinkled delicately through the cavern roof, providing just enough light for Dan to watch the way Phil's chest moved as he breathed, to stare at the contrast in their skin tone as he splayed his fingers out across Phil's ribs.

Dan shivered a little under Phil's touches, as Phil seemed to have an unnecessary desire to touch Dan everywhere, all over his scarred and marked flesh. Dan didn't understand the fascination. His body was a mess, beaten and broken from a hard life on the streets, but Phil... Phil was a creature of beauty, and Dan could stare at him forever.

Lightly, because he could now, Dan's fingers trailed down Phil's chest, exploring again the flesh he'd come to know so well. Phil's skin was soft and warm and so, so smooth, showing his life of comfort, but the way his muscles bunched belied his strength and years of training. Dan was fascinated, and he traced the pattern of Phil's freckles in the same way Phil traced Dan's scars. He could spend hours just lying here, in casual intimacy, tracing patterns on Phil's flesh and watching the way his eyes softened when he looked at Dan. Dan would never be over this. He'd never had intimacy like this before - not after he'd got what he wanted.

Phil was going to destroy him.

The oval locket Dan had given Phil earlier was still around his neck, lying against Phil's chest, and Dan felt a pang of longing when he saw it. It was so right to have it sitting there on Phil - like it belonged, like he carried part of Dan with him. Because he did. Dan had slowly but surely given his heart to this Prince, and there was no taking it back now. Dan was going straight to hell, but as he lay gently on Phil's chest, in Phil's arms, he couldn't even bring himself to regret it.

Dan gave a little shudder when two of Phil's fingers pressed against a mark at his collarbone, and he tilted his head up just enough to send Phil an unimpressed look. "Excuse you. I was busy; quit distracting me." He shifted a little closer, sliding a leg around Phil's and winding his arm securely around Phil's waist, nuzzling his head into Phil's collarbone. He snickered against his skin. "Besides, I think you're a bit more marked up than me. With a bit more practise, we'll get you there."

Phil couldn't help but laugh at Dan’s comment even as the flush raced down his chest all over again. He was so tempted to shove Dan away from him for it, except he really didn't want Dan to move. It felt so good being tangled up the way they were, like nothing Phil had ever felt before. Sure, he and Dan had shared a bed last night, cuddled a few times before now, and even been pressed together more than once, but this? This was different. This was so much more, unafraid as they were to tangle their bodies together completely now they'd seen all of each other.

Besides… it was true that Dan had managed to lay more waste to Phil’s pale skin than Phil had managed to Dan, but he didn’t mind so much anymore. His body still prickled a bit with the feeling it had given him, and that was nice, wonderful even. Phil pressed his nose to Dan’s curly hair instead, and just kind of took all of this moment in.

He was still grinning when he asked, “But I’m distracting you with what, exactly?”

Phil’s fingers trailed up Dan’s back. He could just about see a particularly nasty scar from his position curled over Dan’s head, right at his shoulder blade, and his fingers curled around it automatically. It looked kind of like a stab wound, if Phil had to guess, and it hurt him to know what Dan had to have been through in his short life so far. Still, though… he wanted to know it all.

“I don’t see you doing anything but touching me, after all. I couldn't possibly be distracting you from that, my thief,” Phil said, and pressed a quick kiss to the top of Dan’s head.

Dan stretched out luxuriously under Phil's touch, purring like a cat. He lived for having his hair touched, even in its current curly state, and so he unashamedly pressed his head into Phil's touch to demand more affection there.

"Precisely," Dan sniffed, "I was busy looking at you." He traced his fingers in one smooth swipe down Phil's ribs to his hip, tapping them lightly against Phil's skin and delighting in the way Phil shivered under his touch. Dan wanted to tease every possible reaction out of Phil, to watch his face shift as Dan grew to know his body, grew to know him. He was itching with the desire to be as close to Phil as possible, emotionally as well as physically, in every sense of the word.

Phil's hand continued down Dan's back, and he stretched again, enjoying it, until Phil's fingers brushed a scar just under Dan's right shoulder blade. Dan winced, just a little, and shifted out from under the touch. It was an old wound, but a painful one, and much as Dan didn't want Phil to stop touching him, well, ever, there were some things he was a little vulnerable about.

Dan hated being vulnerable, even if Phil was surrounding him like a warm, comforting blanket. He loved this intimacy, but it would take some getting used to.

When Dan flinched, Phil glanced down to see if he was okay, and then moved his fingers away from the spot he'd been touching before. He reminded himself not to bother that particular scar in the future, and moved his hands instead back up to Dan's hair where he knew his thief seemed to like being touched. In fact, Dan seemed to enjoy any touch to his hair, because there had been a point when tugging on it was a thing, and Dan had only seemed to encourage it.

"Mm, well. I'd much rather be bothering you, so pay attention to me," Phil teased, pouting a bit as he reached down to tip Dan's chin up to look at him, wanting to see those warm brown eyes boring into his own. He grinned when Dan did look up, and leaned down to press a soft kiss to his forehead, closing his eyes when he was done and pulling away on the slightest bit. He wanted to be close to Dan.

After all, he liked the way Dan was so comfortable with him now, and that he himself was able to let Dan touch him so easily. His body still shook under the unfamiliar touch, but it was in a pleasant way, and Phil just wanted Dan to keep touching him like this, in casual sweeps of his hand that showed he loved Phil's body just as much as Phil loved Dan’s. Phil didn't quite understand why Dan would want to look at him though; he was just Phil, bulky and pasty skinned. He personally found Dan far more attractive than himself, but then he figured this whole thing wouldn't have worked out if Dan didn’t feel quite the opposite to Phil.

"And you call me needy," Dan snorted, turning his face up when prompted and grinning cheekily at Phil. He closed his eyes briefly when Phil kissed his forehead, and returned the gesture by lightly running his nose up Phil's jaw until he could press a kiss to his cheek. Phil's hand was back in his hair again and Dan made a soft noise of contentment, curling up even closer. His arm settled around Phil's chest, wanting to hold him, to feel him near.

"So. Tell me something..." Phil trailed off, suddenly a bit nervous. For all that Dan had given him, Phil didn't want to push any boundaries. Moving one hand down to Dan's chest, Phil pushed his hand over a patch of skin that was discolored and patchy. "If I may... I want to hear your stories," he requested, pressing his palm harder over the mark in curiosity, hoping Dan would understand him.

Dan shifted a little, rolling onto his side more when Phil drew a line down his chest. As Phil pressed his fingers there, questioning, Dan blinked and followed his gaze to see a discoloured patch of skin - one of his very oldest wounds, barely noticeable now. Dan had almost forgotten it was there.

"Oh, that old thing." Dan shifted a little further to give Phil more room to explore, glancing up to look into Phil's intense blue eyes. Curiosity was the prevailing emotion there right now, and Dan smirked a little. "Want to hear my traveller's tales, Phil? I assure you, they're not as exciting as you might think. But I can indulge you for a while."

When Dan shifted to move onto his side, Phil followed him, resting his head on a bundle of fur right next to Dan's. He was surprisingly comfortable despite missing the silken sheets of his own bed and the royal pillows that took up a good half of his bed, because he was here with Dan, and there was something amazing about sharing his space, learning about him and the life he lived on a daily basis. Settling in for a few good stories, Phil kept his gaze locked on Dan’s face for a moment, until Dan started to show Phil where his scars lay.

Dan stretched again, lifting his hand reluctantly off Phil's chest to instead trace the mark that Phil was still pressing against. "This is an old scar - from when I was a boy, stealing in the markets the first time I ever got caught. My brother was sick, but I'd used up all my father's old herbs and I hadn't got any supplies left, so I went to try and steal from a healer. Unfortunately, I didn't see her rather large son." Dan shook his head, his tone wry. "He only had a small knife on him, thankfully, and the cut didn't last. My brother laughed at me when I got back." Dan closed his fingers around Phil's wrist and moved his hand away from the mark, instead dragging his waiting fingers over to a thin, jagged line that crossed Dan's hip. “This one, though, is more interesting.”

Phil hadn't known Dan's brother was sick. The thought of it made him ill, and his brow furrowed because his people weren't meant to leave orphans to die on their own. Phil didn't know what Dan's brother had had, but the way he spoke of it, it was something his father might have been able to heal had Dan's family not been gone by then already.

Knowing as little as Phil did about Dan’s family didn’t change the part of Phil that wished he could have saved them all, just for Dan.

Phil’s fingers moved gently over each scar as Dan moved his hand, tracing them softly and memorizing the feel under his fingertips. He wanted to know all of Dan, and this was part of Dan, even if it hurt to hear the dangers he’d faced.

“This one,” Dan murmured, pressing against the jagged line, "I was headed into the capital city for the first time. Ages ago - I was fourteen, so - yes, five years ago. I'd heard there was a royal parade going on for the Queen's birthday, so naturally I wanted to cause trouble." The corner of Dan's mouth twitched up. "I snuck all the way into the Town Hall, where you and your family were up on stage. The King was speaking, if I remember correctly, and I was all set to run up there and make a nuisance of myself, but a Royal Guardsmen caught me before I could get more than two feet in. I ran, of course, but he chased me. Nicked me with his blade just before I disappeared over a wall." Dan chuckled. "I think my dislike of the Royal Guard stems from then, as well."

Hearing that even five years ago Dan had intended to be a menace to the royal family surprised a laugh out of the otherwise horrified Phil, and he had to stop and consider what he might have been doing at the royal birthday party back then, if he’d come close to running into Dan himself, maybe had an encounter he’d pushed away…

Ah. Phil remembered, now. He’d been up on stage next to his father, all dressed up in his royal guard gear, still so young and new to the fold, pretending as though he was keeping his family safe when really, it was the men he’d grown up around always protecting him instead. That hadn’t been all, though; no, ironically, that had been one of the first times Phil had felt confident enough to leave the city on his own, sneaking away when everyone’s back was turned, weapon at his hip ready to pick up and use to defend himself should the need arise.

Nudging Dan, Phil smirked at him.

"I remember that celebration. Mother hadn't wanted anything so grand, but father had insisted, saying the world needed to see more of her, and so she'd gone and let father throw the biggest celebration possible. I remember I used that celebration to my advantage, and for the first time in my life, I ventured outside of the city walls all on my own. With everyone so distracted, I was able to slip off into the forests. I had just turned eighteen, thought I was so cool because I'd finally been named an official Royal Guard, but I forgot all my training that night when I ran into a Unicorn. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen," Phil stated softly. "Nearly let myself be killed when it turned and saw me, but… well, better ending than your night," Phil explained, still tracing his fingers over Dan's wound there.

Dan's eyes widened a little. "You saw a unicorn?" He sat up excitedly, shaking his head. "I can't believe it! They're so incredibly rare." Of course, now Dan thought about it, if anyone he knew was going to manage to see a unicorn then it would be Phil. Phil's good heart and moral compass would be more than enough not to scare away such a shy beast, even if it had almost got him killed. That wasn't the first time Phil had mentioned the forest, either. Dan would ask him about it later.

Unable to help his grin, Phil nodded enthusiastically. He'd never actually told anyone that story before, not wanting anyone to know or use it against him or to find another excuse to "want" him. Dan was the first he'd ever told, and he felt kind of proud of it when Dan actually sat up in excited surprise, a tinge of jealousy showing through his words.

“Maybe I’ll tell you all about it another time, but for now… tell me about this scar,” Phil said, interrupting Dan’s excitement to instead trace his fingers up to a strange white crease on Dan’s shoulder, not wanting Dan to stop talking just yet. He wanted Dan to tell him everything, and Phil feared if they turned the attention back to him instead, Dan would forget himself and avoid any more conversation about him.

Glancing down, Dan watched as Phil traced the oddly shaped scar on his shoulder and successfully making him forget about the unicorn, at least for just then. Dan let out a little sigh, staring down and away from Phil's gaze. "Well. Actually, that scar is a little embarrassing." Dan coughed into his hand, then wriggled himself back in close to Phil, so he could hide his face in Phil's neck.

"I got cocky," Dan explained. "I'd been living out on my own for quite a while, generally terrorising the local villages - no cities yet, I was still working my way up - but people had started talking about a King of Thieves who was plaguing the area. I quite liked the title. So I went into the village centre one night, all ready to break into a house, but there was another thief there who'd beaten me to it. He recognised me straight away, laughed at me for being so young. So, naturally, I, um, challenged him." Dan grimaced.

"You're still pretty cocky," Phil teased, ignoring it when Dan thumped his chest lightly to shut him up. The whole idea of Dan being cocky and stupid enough to challenge someone older than him made him smile, and the only reason he didn’t succumb to the small prickle of fear at the idea of a young Dan fighting someone older than him was the knowledge that Dan had survived, and was here now, safe in his arms. Phil snuffled a bit, and curled himself tighter around Dan.

Dan huffed. "Rude, though I can’t say you’re wrong. Never mind this thief was about twenty years older than me. Anyway. I had a knife I kept flailing at him, but he dodged easily, jumped on me and cut my shoulder." Dan shrugged, lips twitching. "I was furious, but then he cut my knee too - look," Dan paused momentarily to show Phil the matching scar on his knee, "So I couldn't move. I passed out, I think, and next thing I knew he was building me a campfire and offering to teach me how to fight." Dan shook his head, smiling again. "I stayed with him a few months, until he kicked me out to go my own way again. I'd learned a lot, though. I owe him most of my skills in fighting."

At that, Dan glanced back up again and grinned straight at Phil. "And you know how skilled I am at that, hm? I reckon I could still take you in a fight."

Grumbling a bit when Dan started to shift around in order to show Phil his knee, Phil went with it, desperate to take in all of Dan’s body and all of his stories. He wanted to know all of Dan, so he looked at the small cut on Dan’s knee for the length of time Dan was willing to show it to him, and then grumbled a bit more when Dan started to shift around some more, really getting into his story.

Finally, though, Dan stopped moving, and Phil laughed as his thief returned to teasing him.

"I'll be honest,” Phil said in reply, “I'm more than happy he taught you how to fight… but I still think I could take you, my thief," he teased, tugging a little on a stray curl that lay against the side of Dan’s head, before placing it back in the nest of Dan's hair.

Dan huffed at Phil’s response, though he more than happily moved back into Phil's hold, tilting his head and giving a little sigh as Phil continued to run his fingers through Dan's hair. Dan was also pleased that Phil was still calling him his thief. He liked the way that tied them together, but without making Dan feel like he had to change. Dan was starting to entertain the very dangerous possibility that he might somehow be able to remain a thief and keep Phil.

The thought was too precious, and Dan had to let it go.

"Excuse you, I could totally take you in a fight." Dan sounded vaguely affronted. He rolled a little, pressing himself carefully on top of Phil and grinning down at him.

Phil made a small "ooph" noise as Dan rolled on top of him, but he liked the way it looked and felt, head tilted back as Dan hovered over him. It was especially good now, though, after all they'd done, and he grinned, reaching up to press his hand to Dan's dimple again. He knew it annoyed Dan, but Phil couldn't bring himself to care. He just loved Dan's dimple so damn much.

Dan's face screwed up when Phil pressed his dimple again. Phil seemed to have an utter fascination with it, or maybe he just did it because it annoyed Dan. Dan didn't know.

Though he'd be lying if he said he hated it.

Sniffing, Dan added, "I'm not cocky without reason, now. I don't think you ever managed to lock me away in your dungeon, did you?"

Phil shook his head, knowing Dan was right. Phil, as good as he was as Captain of the Royal Guard, had never quite been able to take Dan down.

"But I've also never had the chance to take you in a fair fight, with no advantages on either side. I feel like I might have a chance," Phil explained, tugging Dan down until he could kiss him soundly on the lips, sighing softly and unable to stop smiling into it. He liked that he could do that anytime he liked, now, heart fluttering in his chest as Dan moved to rest against his chest. Legs tangled together, Phil hummed and pressed his fingers back through Dan's hair.

Dan smiled when Phil kissed him, unable to help it. There was something so casually intimate about being able to touch each other whenever they wanted, kiss each other however they liked, and Dan was growing to love it. They could build a life based on this, he thought, if only they could find a way to keep both of them happy.

Still, Dan couldn't let Phil go unchallenged, so he pursed his lips, thinking. "I suppose - if there were no advantages. We're kind of evenly matched. One difference though, my Prince." Dan's eyes gleamed wickedly as he leaned back in, tracing his nose slowly up Phil's jaw until his lips were brushing Phil's ear just enough to tease him. "I fight dirty."

He pressed a kiss there, right under Phil's ear, before moving back around to lie on his chest with a snicker. He could feel Phil shivering beneath him.

It was ridiculous, the things Dan could do to Phil, even now. The way his nose felt tracing just under Phil’s jaw, his lips brushing over his ear, and his voice all soft and heated, made something stir in him again, and Phil could do nothing but let out a soft sigh as he shivered underneath Dan. His lips parted slightly, and his eyes fell closed for just the briefest of moments.

“Fair enough,” Phil agreed lightly when he got his breath back, his heart having picked up speed at the way Dan had spoken to him. Swallowing thickly, Phil tried to clear his mind, and ended up letting out another surprised sigh as Dan shifted on top of him. He licked his lips, remembering that first day he’d met Dan on the rooftops.

“Considering the way you flirted with me the day we met… I can see you playing dirty to your dying breath,” he said.

Dan laughed at the reminder of how he’d flirted with Phil that first day, his eyes glittering as he stared at the mess he’d made of Phil. Reaching up with tender fingers, Dan went ahead and carded his own fingers through Phil’s hair affectionately, before moving to settle himself on Phil’s chest all over again. He may be a tease, but he had no plans to push Phil any further tonight than they’d already gone.

Instead, Dan changed the subject. Besides, he very much still wanted to hear about that unicorn, and his prince’s adventures, so he said, “Anyway, enough about me. You said you knew the forest well?” Dan tilted his head up to meet Phil’s eyes lightly, smiling when Phil traced his fingers through Dan’s hair again. His voice was light hearted now, a bit teasing, but mostly, he just wanted to hear Phil talk.

Dan closed his eyes, and nestled himself close to Phil again, listening to the slow, rhythmic beating of Phil’s heart. “I never ventured there - it was always too risky for me. What’s the forest like?”

Phil didn't really want to talk about himself, was much happier listening to Dan speak, but knew Dan wanted to know just as much about Phil as Phil did Dan, so he rested his head back against the furs underneath him, and thought for a second.

“It’s amazing, Dan,” he started, humming a little. His eyes sought out the night sky above them, in the little hole in Dan’s cavern that Phil couldn’t help feeling Dan was so lucky to have. His fingers played lightly against Dan’s body wrapped up in his arms, and he sighed, smiling. “There are so, so many creatures in the forest that I don’t even have a name for, rare and incredibly beautiful, just like the foliage and plants they inhabit. The further you venture in, the less traversed by humans it’s been, and the paths disappear until you’re left with nothing but natural trails to follow and strange nature to take in. Nothing’s man-made, there.”

Phil couldn’t help wanting to go back there now, thinking of the day he might get to take Dan with him. He’d not seen nearly enough of the forests in his lifetime, not yet, despite the sheer amount of times he’d managed to explore on his own. There was so much in there, so much unstudied and unknown, too terrifying even for most researchers and adventurers to seek out on their own - or at least, those known to Phil’s people. Perhaps their neighboring kingdoms knew more… some day, Phil would travel there as well, to learn… perhaps Dan would come with him.

Phil cleared his throat, continuing.

“I once found a pack of wood mice, down some strange trail I doubt I’ll ever be able to retrace again. They’re just as big as you’d imagine, huge fuzzy creatures with antenna as long as my arm. They sniffed the air when I came near, but didn’t fear me. One turned to me with big, beady eyes, but dismissed me almost immediately. They’d taken down one of the oldest trees I’ve ever seen when I stumbled upon them, and were gnawing at the bark inside, and yet it seemed as if they’d picked the tree on purpose for it’s age, not wanting to destroy the world they lived in… It was amazing, seeing nature at work like that,” Phil explained, thinking back on that wondrous day.

Dan sat up a little, staring at Phil with slightly wide eyes. Wood mice. Dan had only ever read about those mysterious creatures, they played a key part in one of his favourite fairy tales. He’d used to act that out with his brother all the time as a child, in happier times, before he’d fallen sick and Dan had watched him wither away. But wood mice - they were notoriously shy, travelling in their tight-knit groups and rarely seen by human eyes.

For all that Dan had seen and done in his life, there were some things that Phil had done much more.

Jealousy twisted in Dan’s gut for a moment, before he calmed himself. Phil had seen things Dan had only ever dreamed about, or read about in his books, but never thought could be reality. But they were for Phil. For Phil’s world.

Why couldn’t they be real for Dan’s world, too?

Phil smiled to himself, turned his head to face Dan.

“Maybe one day I can take you,” he murmured, and watched as Dan’s lips began to quirk up in a smile. Too afraid to face his response, however, Phil turned his gaze back up to the roof of the cavern, searching out the stars once more.

Dan wriggled. Maybe - maybe it could be real for Dan’s world, too, if Phil wanted to take him there. But that would involve some kind of future where they could stay together, and honestly - honestly, as much as Dan wanted that, it was difficult to imagine.

Phil was still a Prince. Dan was still a thief. They were joined for this quest to save Cornelia, yes, but after that… after that, the royals would have no use for Dan at all. And while he dared to believe that maybe Phil would want to keep him around, it was… hard to imagine. Unless Dan gave up his thieving, but that would mean abandoning all the black markets he’d ever set up, all the ways he tried to help his people.

Could he do that? Would he do that, for Phil?

Phil let his mind wander a bit, thinking of the other strange sights he’d seen in the forest, and then laughed as he remembered one in particular.

“There’s a lake I like to visit sometimes, deep in the middle somewhere. I’ve got the trail memorized, from all the time’s I’ve visited. It’s really peaceful out there, and no one but me seems to know about it, so I’m always able to find security out there. Anyway, I’ve never been in the lake, but I’ve seen something even more amazing than experiencing that water. An Articuno lives there.”

“You’re joking.” Dan shot straight up and raised both brows excitedly at Phil. “An Articuno. Like, actually, actually an Articuno.” They were almost as rare as dragons, talked about in fairy tales with just as much reverence, although they were mostly loved. Dan couldn’t count the number of stories that included a great knight being guided on his way by one.

Well, maybe that was happening now. Phil was a great knight, too, after all.

“I’m not,” Phil explained, his voice going low and conspiratorial. “I swear it. I caught them sunbathing once, and they looked at me with one, huge eye, like they knew who I was, and then flapped their wings and disappeared back into the lake like I’d never been there at all. Legend has it they don’t usually come out when people are around, but sometimes, they toss dead fish up at me, like a peace offering,” he continued, curling his fingers through Dan’s hair.

Sighing once more, Phil closed his eyes, and bit his lip.

“One day… I want to take you there. One day… I want to show you everything.”

He couldn’t help how nervous he felt saying those words a second time, terrified that Dan might reject him.

Dan held in a breath. Slowly, carefully, he lowered himself back down to Phil’s chest and hid his head in his favourite spot in Phil’s shoulder, ducking there to hide his expression for a moment. Phil offering to take him there - making future plans like they were possible - it was doing strange things to Dan’s heart.

Maybe, once they returned, Phil would be able to sneak out of the Palace sometimes. Maybe he’d be able to escape his duties and come and spend time with Dan, at least some of the time. There was also the fact that Dan’s capital city hideout was right on top of Phil’s office, something that Phil was still ignorant of, but maybe Dan could use that to his advantage in the future. The idea of swinging unannounced into Phil’s space… that was a good thought.

If only it was possible.

For now, Dan wanted to enjoy what time he did have. So he lifted his face out of Phil’s shoulder and looked back at him, shaking his head gently. Phil sounded so enamoured whenever he spoke of the forest, and it was evident enough that he loved animals and wildlife. For now, Dan would focus on that.

"Why am I not surprised you went chasing after animals." Dan's lips twitched a little, and he went back to idly tracing patterns on Phil's chest, leaning into the hand in his hair with a low hum. "I sense that's a recurring theme. I'd love to see your forest, Phil. In fact..." Dan trailed off for a moment, tilting his head to to look Phil in the eyes again. "...I think I'd like to see everything you want to show me."

When Dan didn’t reject Phil’s proposal to show his thief the wonders Phil knew, he felt a burst of excitement flare through him. Knowing that Dan wanted to see all that Phil had to show him, just as much as Dan wanted to show Phil so much, made him giddy to the bone, and he laughed as he sat up rather suddenly, dislodging Dan from his chest.

“Yeah?” he asked, rolling over on top of Dan and pushing him back down on the furs below them, arms coming up to cage Dan’s body in. He liked having advantage over Dan, was quickly learning how to play dirty himself, and nudged at Dan’s lips with his own. “You really want to see what I have to show you?” he breathed against Dan’s lips, laughing breathily again when Dan nodded underneath him. “You’ve seen more of the world then me, my thief… and yet, I still want to show you everything I know…” Slowly, Phil trailed his lips down Dan’s sensitive neck, chuckling at the way Dan tilted his head obediently in reaction

Dan gave a disgruntled squawk when Phil dislodged him from his comfortable resting place cuddled up to Phil's chest. He slid onto his back with a huff, though his eyes brightened again when Phil trapped him in place, body folded around Dan's. Phil was growing more and more confident with this, initiating more and more, and it was quickly making them equals. Dan had thought he'd be annoyed by that, but actually, it calmed him. Imbalance did neither of them good. Dan couldn't wait to keep pushing at Phil's boundaries, to see how many things he could teach him, how many firsts he could steal from Phil.

“Though, I do have to admit,” Phil continued, “That I am jealous of all that you have seen. Perhaps it would be better for you to show me the world after all,” he whispered, pulling back to look Dan in the eye, his own twinkling with something more than mirth. He pressed his hand over Dan's heart, lifted himself a bit, tried to take the mood back to something a little more serious rather than sexy. "Would you do that, Dan? If I asked you to? Would you take me away? Show me everything I've been missing out on?"

His eyes bored into Dan's. He wanted so badly to know if that was an option. Would Dan take care of him, look after him, be willing to have Phil so included in every aspect of his life?

"If I wanted to run away with you, even if just for a little while, in small spurts at a time, would you take me anywhere, my thief?"

Phil lifted off him a little, and Dan wound his arms gently around Phil's back, bringing him close. He loved holding Phil, making full use of his slight height advantage to curl his long body entirely around Phil's.

Dan shivered a little at Phil's questions, though. He could see the sincerity in Phil's eyes, hear the honesty in his tone. Phil meant what he was saying. He wanted Dan to show him the world. And if that didn’t tie in with Dan’s earlier thoughts - that maybe, possibly, there could be some kind of future for them. Somehow.

Dan's heart raced a little with excitement.

He reached up to card a hand through Phil's hair, eyes trained on his face. "Do you even have to ask? I'd give you anything you want, my Prince, anything at all to make you happy." He nudged affectionately at Phil, close to kissing him again, but not quite meeting his lips. "If you truly wanted to get away, to come with me - I could show you so many things. You'd love the menagerie in the Arkha mansion to the East, and you haven't lived until you've seen the sunrise over the coast to the North. So much I could show you, my Prince, if you step into my world for a while."

Dan meant the words, spoke them with true honesty, but there was a heaviness to his heart as well. Because however much he might want to, Dan knew he couldn't keep Phil. Phil had his duties, and he took them seriously, and Dan wished he could whisk them away from it all. He meant what he'd said when he declared he wanted to give Phil his freedom.

It was just - that freedom would mean taking him away from his family. From his job, a job that Phil clearly loved, and from a people who loved him back just as fiercely. Dan couldn’t take away their Prince. He couldn’t take Phil away from everything that made him happy.

But, if he was allowed short bursts of time… then maybe, maybe Dan could have that.

Slowly, the grin took over Phil's features all over again, Dan's eyes brilliant and sincere as he stared up at Phil. There was so much happiness bubbling up inside of him that Phil thought this might actually work, and then he was leaning back down and cupping Dan's cheeks to kiss him, open mouthed and giddy. He was grinning far too wide to make much progress here, but Dan wasn't complaining, laughing at Phil despite it all until Phil was pulling away with a happy sigh and settling his weight on top of Dan, resting his head in the crook of his neck.

Dan laughed into the kiss, laughed as Phil pressed close to him, but the sound was one of pure joy. Usually he laughed at someone's expense, the sound snide and jeering, but with Phil, he felt true happiness radiate inside him. It was like Phil reached between all of Dan's nasty little corners and instead found the true, warm, soft person he could be.

It made Phil smile, made him so happy, to hear Dan laughing with him, the sound soft against his lips, soft in his ears. He wanted to bathe in it, find another million ways to make Dan make that sound, and he curled into him, let himself be held, buzzing with more happiness than he could explain. He'd never been this happy, and it was strange because he shouldn't be just then. So much had happened to his family, so many things had changed, and his kingdom was in peril, and yet, Phil just wanted to have this moment with his thief.

"Dan," he whispered, and closed his eyes, searching with one hand for Dan's so he could slot their fingers together again. He wasn't sure if he was pushing too far yet, but there was so much Phil wanted to say. He bit his lip, afraid to scare Dan away, and nuzzled closer still, reaching up with his other hand to close his fist around the pendant around his neck. "Dan," he said again, and sighed.

Dan held Phil tight as Phil nuzzled against him, holding in another burst of laughter. He was buzzing with happiness, listening to the way Phil sighed his name. Hardly anyone knew Dan's name, and no one spoke it aloud without risking Dan cutting them. He’d kind of… ditched it, after his family passed and he became known as the King of Thieves. It was perfect and strange to hear Phil saying it, even now.

"If you promise to take me, if we survive this month... then I promise to go with you," Phil insisted, voice quiet.

Those were the most perfect words ever. A sealed promise that Phil would come with Dan, would let Dan show him the world. That this wasn’t going to be the last of their travels together.

But Dan's eyes narrowed a little at Phil's comment.

"What do you mean, if we survive? I have absolutely no intention of letting you escape my clutches so soon." He ran a hand down Phil's back, digging his nails in just a little, just enough to make his point. "I don't let my belongings get damaged, Phil, and you most definitely belong to me."

Phil's back arched into Dan's touch, a thrill going through him at the use of nails and the way Dan said his name, claiming Phil all over again. He might have once found that horrible, or rude, but knowing that that was how Dan showed his affection when things were getting too close to matters of the heart, when he hadn't yet pushed himself into being open and vulnerable again, Phil didn't mind it. He collapsed back against Dan, his own hand moving up Dan's side's, caressing the skin.

"Protect me," Phil whispered, nosing Dan's neck. "As I protect you.” His lips brushed against Dan’s skin, and he pressed a quick kiss there, gentle as ever. His eyes fluttered closed as he held tight to Dan. He wanted nothing more than to believe that they would both come home safe from this adventure they were about to go on, but there was still something niggling at the back of his mind, a thought he’d had just that morning.

“Can I ask you a question?" Phil asked, waiting for Dan’s hum or approval before continuing on. "You promised my family to bring me back alive. That doesn't mean at the expense of your life, does it?" he asked, voice hushed as his palm spread over Dan's skin, took in the softness of him, the way it felt to be able to touch another human being. He nosed up against Dan's jaw once again, and then adjusted his head, looking up at Dan with something like fear in his eyes. "I know you, or I think I know you, but I don't want you to ever put me before yourself if it means you getting yourself killed."

Dan couldn't help but stiffen a little when Phil asked if he could ask Dan a question. Dan's first instinct was to fear the worst - that this soft moment between him and his Prince couldn't last, that Phil was finally going to ask Dan something that he couldn't answer, or at least not in a way Phil would like. Dan's mind raced with possibilities, thinking how many terrible things Phil could ask him - not least the truth of Phil's Uncle's death, which Dan really did not want to divulge.

He relaxed, then, and even gave a small laugh, when Phil's actual question was of a much kinder nature. He simply asked whether Dan intended to protect Phil's life over his own, if it came down to it. The question was still serious, as Dan could tell by the worried look in Phil's eyes when he looked up at Dan, reiterating that he didn't want Dan to get killed, but there was such a protective nature to it, betraying just how much Phil didn't want to lose Dan. Dan felt his heart expanding in his chest until he feared it would burst.

Dan chuckled again, low in his throat, and tightened his grip around Phil until he was hugging Phil tight against his chest. "You fool," he murmured fondly, and brought a hand up to tangle in Phil's hair. "I don't want to die for you. I'm not saying I wouldn't, if the situation came to it - don't argue with me, the life of a Prince will always be worth more than the life of a thief - but I would much rather we both survive." Dan tipped his head back a little as Phil nosed at his jaw, and he gave a happy little sigh. "Such a fool, my Prince. I'm not going to let either of us die, and certainly not by a dragon, of all things."

It felt good to have Dan tightening his arms around Phil, chuckling as if Phil's question was ludicrous. It helped Phil to relax, the fear that had been plaguing him since before they'd left the Castle finally being settled a bit.

Until Dan kept talking, of course.

It didn't matter that Phil was the most comfortable he'd ever been, didn't matter that Dan had a hand threaded through his hair, didn't matter that Phil didn't want to pop their bubble of bliss. Hearing Dan say that the life of a Prince meant more than a life of a thief, whether or not he bookended that with the reassurance that Dan had no plans on either of them dying, not only broke his heart but pissed him off, and Phil sat up against Dan, pinning Dan’s lower half with his own weight by sitting on top of him.

The glare he sent at Dan was the worst Phil could muster, and he reached down to punch Dan in the shoulder the same way Dan had done to him when Phil had nearly walked into quicksand back there, in Dan’s desert. He was absolutely seething as he stared at his - his - person, his heart beating rapidly in his chest.

“No. Fuck you, Dan. Don’t you dare say those words to me,” he hissed, teeth gritted as Dan stared up at him in surprised awe. “Your life is just as important as mine. If it comes right down to it, you let me die,” he continued, his voice a low growl. Uncaringly, Phil pulled his arm back and punched Dan in the arm, because the idea of Dan dying for Phil, leaving Phil, not least of all because he didn’t think his life was important enough, killed him.

“I’d be more willing to accept that you couldn’t live without me than that you didn’t think your life meant enough in this world. You are just as good, just as important as me, Daniel Howell, and I will personally kill you myself if you ever let yourself leave me for something as - as - ridiculous, as that.”

Phil's chest was heaving, and he thought he could feel the tears prickling again, but he didn't shift away from Dan, just continued to glare at him as he grit his teeth. He realized his words might not make so much sense, but he thought he might have gotten his intent across clearly enough for Dan to get it. Phil wouldn't accept Dan thinking himself less than Phil.

Dan's eyes widened when Phil sat up, pinning him in place, and punched his shoulder hard. He blinked, shocked. Phil was speaking so passionately, as if he truly meant what he said, and his tone brooked no argument. He was adamant that Dan was worth as much as him, that they were equal. That was so rare for their world, and also just not true - if Dan returned without Phil, he had no doubts at all that the royals would not look kindly on him. Losing a Prince, one of the royals, was so, so much worse than losing a thief.

Never mind that Dan literally couldn’t imagine leaving Phil in danger and not doing something about it. He’d promised Phil’s mother that he’d bring Phil back safe. Dan was not one to break his promises.

But still, the fact that Phil was willing to literally punch him to show how much he didn’t want to lose Dan… Phil must truly care about him, then, if he was so passionate about Dan's survival.

Dan knew he couldn't let that stand, though. The thought of living in a world where he'd let Phil die was completely unthinkable, and he had no desire to allow that to happen.

So Dan narrowed his eyes right was back at Phil.

"That's a nice ideal world you're living in, Phil. Do you think your parents would forgive me if I brought you back dead?" Dan's words choked a little, his voice cracking at even the thought. His eyes hardened. "As if I would let that happen. We are equal, Phil, yes, but I will not lose anyone else in my life. You hear me? I'm not letting you in this much just to go and lose you."

Dan's tone was final, and he turned to stare determinedly up at the ceiling, past Phil's shoulder. He didn't want to fight with his Prince, but he could sense a disagreement coming, and it made his heart sink. He didn't want to burst their little bubble, not yet, no matter how much the world was against them.

Phil was choking up, blinking hard to try and keep himself from crying, able to feel the lump forming in his throat. He'd never, not once in his entire life, cared for someone the way he cared for Dan. He'd never thought he could have this, and the idea that he might lose everything was tearing him up inside. But Dan was right. As he spoke, words nearly as venomous and passionate as Phil's, Phil realized where he was coming from, what they were up against, and he let a little sob break through at the reminder that, at least in their society, Phil was above Dan. In the end, if Dan were to allow Phil to die… Dan’s life would be forfeit, whether Phil thought that fair or not.

More than that, though, the last thing Phil ever wanted to do was force Dan to lose another person he cared for, no matter how much he didn’t want to lose Dan. It was just… Phil needed to make it clear that he would rather be dead than live without his thief. The biggest problem was - it seemed the same was true for Dan, and that made it all the harder still, because Phil had this terrible feeling in his gut that if it came right down to it, the person throwing themselves into the line of fire first… would be Dan.

Phil couldn't let that happen.

With eyes burning with tears, Phil shook his head vehemently at Dan, and leaned in close to him. He was not going to let this go without a fight. Not so carefully, Phil moved his hands to grip Dan’s wrists in his, and slammed them to the ground, bracing his body over Dan’s and trapping him beneath him. His thief did not even struggle, something that lit a fire inside of Phil, and then he was leaning down and dragging his thief into a fierce, demanding kiss.

His lips were hot on Dan’s, teeth digging into his skin, nipping and sucking and taking as his tongue pushed past Dan’s mouth to devour him whole. His tears were dripping onto Dan’s face, but he didn’t care as he kissed him hard, sobbing into his thief’s mouth and taking all that he could. Dan gave him everything - Phil could feel it in the way he yielded to him, fingers shifting into fists under Phil’s hold, body pressing up into Phil’s to reassure him that he was here, and alive, and Phil’s.

The way Dan touched him, even without the use of his hands, reassured Phil that this man belonged to him, and slowly, the kiss turned from demanding anger, to soft, desperate love, Phil whining soft cries into Dan’s mouth, panting against his lips, and just trying to… take.

The King of Thieves belonged to Phil Lester, and there was no way in hell he was ever going to give that up.

By the time Phil pulled away from Dan, his grip was bruising, desperate to shackle Dan to him.

“Then we’re not going to die,” Phil insisted, voice broken but hard. “Neither of us, because I am not losing you when I only just found you.”

Dan gasped a little from the ferocity of Phil's kiss, from the sheer, deep, true emotion behind it. He could feel Phil trembling against him, sense a hold hard enough to hurt against his wrists as Phil held him pinned to the ground. Dan had absolutely no desire to move, but he wasn't sure he could break Phil's hold even if he wanted to.

This was strange, for Dan - to feel so loved by someone else, held so dear to someone that the thought of losing him made them react like this. Dan couldn't really remember a time he'd felt love quite like this - and it physically hurt. It hurt, because he wanted to take Phil away from every danger, to stay with Phil in a quiet little corner of the world away from any horrors, and yet, that seemed impossible. Especially now, when they had a Princess to save.

Dan wriggled his fingers a little, shifting in Phil's hold until he got Phil to release one of his wrists, and then his hand went straight to Phil's cheek, holding him in place as Dan looked at him firmly. "As I said - I have absolutely no intention of letting either of us die. You said you'd trust me, my Prince - trust me to keep us safe. Us, together, equally. I'm not going to let you die, but I don't have any plans to die for you, either."

Dan's tone was stern, but his hand was soft against Phil's cheek. Dan caressed the skin there gently, until he had Phil leaning into his touch. Dan kept his eyes trained on Phil's face at all times, hating the hurt he saw there, the fear hidden away in those intense eyes. "Think of it this way, my Prince - I have survived many situations before, and I always live to tell the tale. Now I have you to protect, I just have extra incentive to live. I promise you - do as I say, and we will survive." Dan's lips twitched a little. "You'll have to get better at obeying me, though."

It was hard, to let Dan go, release his wrist and wait out his reaction, purely because Phil didn't want to let go. He just wanted this entire situation to be over and done with, for both of them to be safe and to act as if nothing was wrong. If only there were another way to get that dragon scale, to save his family, without putting either of them at risk. Not for the first time, Phil once again wished he wasn't a prince, that he didn't have duties to a kingdom he half hated half the time, the he and Dan had been handed a different lot in life.

He nuzzled into Dan's hold on his cheek, too scared to close his eyes, and let the tears drip down some more, because what else could he do? Dan wanted him to trust him. Phil did, he really did, but he just wanted things to be perfect and okay. Anything could happen with a Dragon. They were ancient beasts, and they hoarded treasure. They were unlikely to be happy about two grown, armed men walking into their lair, whether they intended to steal their treasure or not. Perhaps their scales meant just as much to them at their treasure.

Fingers tightening on Dan's other wrist, Phil nodded, letting out a watery laugh at Dan telling him to obey him better.

"I'll do anything for you," he insisted, shaking his head and finally closing his eyes. "I'd do anything to stay with you. Don't let me go, no matter what,” Phil begged. “I swear to you, we'll get through every hurdle thrown our way. I don't want to lose you."

Phil's words washed over Dan, and for the first time, he let himself truly believe them. He imagined, for a moment, that what Phil was saying was true - that he'd truly do anything for Dan, go anywhere with him, work to keep him safe and happy. And much to Dan's shock, he felt an odd burning in his throat.

Someone legitimately cared about him, someone he wasn't related to or stealing for or giving handouts to. Someone actually wanted Dan for Dan.

The thought was almost too precious to bear.

Dan swallowed thickly, blinking. The hand on Phil's cheek traced down slowly, wiping away his tears before moving along his jaw and down his neck, until Dan could touch the locket hanging about Phil's neck - Dan's locket. It looked right, there - a reminder that Dan was tied to someone else, tethered to this place by his connection with another person.

The best kind of connection possible.

Dan shivered a little, and despite the serious nature of their conversation, he could feel a smile beginning to spread slowly across his face. He splayed his fingers against Phil's shoulder, and let out a small bubble of laughter.

"I'm just happy," he explained softly, eyes meeting Phil's gaze again. There was always so much emotion in Phil's eyes, like they were saying so much more than Phil could put into words. Dan's smile widened still further. "You actually care about me, don't you? You care what happens to me."

Dan's voice was a little awed, no trace of his usual arrogance. He itched to pull Phil against him again, to nuzzle close, but he wanted to dispel Phil's fears a little more.

"You give me something to live for," Dan murmured, almost too softly to hear, pressing his thumb gently into a mark he'd left on Phil's collarbone earlier. "I didn't think I had anything but hatred and fight left in me, but you - you give me something to live for, Phil Lester."

Phil's heart was in his throat. It seemed like it always was with Dan. Their relationship was just still so new, so fragile with the possibility to break. There was trust between them, but it wasn't as established as it could be. Phil understood that real trust couldn't form without time, and time was something he knew he could give his thief. Whether he was never believed, Phil would always keep his word to Dan, get him out of any and all situations he managed to get himself locked into, and never give up on the bond they'd formed between them. He would never betray Dan's heart.

Phil shivered as Dan's hand moved down his body once again, over his neck and down his chest until he was settling fingers over the very object Phil now treasured above all else. Phil watched the way Dan's lips trembled, watched the way his eyes went soft and clear, the way he seemed to open himself up in a way he still hadn't fully done, until he was looking up at Phil with eyes wide open, a window to his soul.

Lips twitching himself, Phil snorted out a small laugh, sniffling against his tears.

"I care about you so much. I think I always have, really," Phil whispered in return, nodding his head emphatically, sniffling again. "And I will fight for us," he insisted, nodding assertively.

His heart fluttered, body aching where Dan was pressing his finger, reminding Phil of what they'd done, how they'd sealed themselves together in a different, special way that Phil didn't want to break. Leaning forward, Phil kissed him again, eyes closed as he sighed against Dan's mouth. He moved the hand still pinning Dan's wrist down again, and pushed his fingers through Dan's.

Dan sighed against Phil's lips as he was kissed again and again. He could lose himself to this feeling - of being cared for, of being loved. A part of Dan still recoiled at the word, not wanting to admit to such a strong emotion again after so many empty, lonely years, but being here with Phil made everything seem so easy. It would be easy, to let those words slip out for this Prince with the heart of gold and the desire to do what was right, what was good, to make everyone around him happy.

They kissed for a while longer, a sensation that Phil would never get tired of, and he let his eyes drift closed as he let himself slip into Dan, falling in love with him over and over again. He wanted so much, wanted to stay here forever, but he knew this happy little bubble would have to break eventually, and they'd have to move back to the real world. That was never going to change Phil's plans or his words, though. He'd always want all of this.

"You are my reason to live, Daniel Howell," Phil whispered in return, right against his lips.

Dan gave a little start at hearing his full name spoken aloud again. It brought back memories of his family, memories that were all too prevalent lately as he lay curled up in Phil's arms. Dan linked his fingers with Phil's happily, and then rolled them now he was free, so they were lying side by side on his furs and he could get his head resting against Phil's chest again. He loved to hear the steady beat of Phil's heart, reminding him that this was real.

Phil let Dan move them so they were laying side by side again, sighing as Dan settled his head over Phil's chest again, and relaxed, turning his gaze back to the view from Dan's cave to the starry sky above him once again. He couldn't help it as he wished on those stars that things would be okay, and that they could both return here one day, well and alive.

"I could love you, Phil," Dan mumbled against Phil's neck as he curled his long limbs sleepily around Phil's. His restless night in Phil's bed in the Castle, accompanied with the comfort of being back in his own space, was making Dan's eyelids heavy, despite the fact they’d literally stayed in bed for hours. He nestled as close to Phil as he could possibly get, throwing an arm around Phil's waist and holding him close. "I'll fight for us, too. For our freedom. You deserve so much freedom, you know? Your smile is so much wider when you're away from your duties."

Phil glanced down at Dan, unable to help the smile, as he admitted to being able to love Phil, but didn't push it. He didn't think he was ready to say I love you yet either, despite being certain of his own feelings, and let out a small sigh of contentment instead, wrapping his arm around Dan's shoulders to drag him ever closer. They needed to sleep, and the way Dan was cuddling up to Phil told him he was ready to drift away.

Phil had a feeling he wouldn't be sleeping so soon, but that was okay.

He grinned again at Dan's soft words, and then leaned down over him to kiss the top of his head. "Then perhaps we should fight for both our freedom," Phil whispered to him, kissing his head again. "Sleep, my thief. We have a long month ahead of us," he said.

There were so many thoughts and questions and problems at the back of Phil's head that he knew they needed to deal with, but not now. Not now, not after they'd made love, not when things were still so bright and happy and good. Phil had Dan in his arms, never wanted to let him go, and everything else could wait.

Thoughts of Phil's uncle still plagued him, his heart still ached, but he didn't want to push Dan yet. He wanted to give them both some more time, wanted to let them develop more, and then they could touch the hard issues. For now, as Phil stared up at the night sky, the view more beautiful than anything he'd ever seen before, he just wished and prayed that things would turn out alright.

It didn't take long for Dan to drift into sleep after that, Phil's whispered words accompanying him into his dreams. He was comfortable back on his furs, although he had to admit that Phil's bed had been softer, and the royal silken sheets were more comfortable to wrap up in, as well.

Dan could hardly complain about his sleeping conditions when he had a Phil to cuddle up to, though. Phil was warm and strong and his heartbeat was slow and steady in his chest, reminding Dan that he miraculously wasn't alone. He had someone to stay with him, and he was safe in his cavern, which meant that for once, Dan was allowing himself to completely succumb to sleep, rather than nap with one eye open in case of intruders.

It took a good, long while for Phil to sleep, busy as he was dealing with his own messed up and confused emotions. There was so much happiness in his heart, bubbling forth and wanting to leap right out, but there was pain too, and so much worry. Phil was scared. He was scared for his relationship with Dan, he was scared for the future of his kingdom, he was scared about his own future, and he was scared for his family and the Palace and the Dragon he was about to face. Dan could reassure him all he wanted, Phil could trust him to the end of the Earth and back, but he was still scared.

He didn't know if they would succeed, or what casualties would come if they did, and that was the hardest bit for Phil because he was determined to do all that he could to keep Dan alive with him for as long as he could. He didn't want to lose his thief. He truly, truly wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.

The sky soothed him, though, as did Dan's steady breaths and the comfort of being wrapped up in someone else's arms, and soon, he found himself drifting to sleep.

Dan slept soundly, relaxed, curled up in Phil's warmth, right through until dawn sent streaks of light angling through his cavern. Dan stirred reluctantly, not wanting to blink open his eyes. Somehow, during the night, he'd lost all of his furs again, and he was lying mostly bare under the crisp chill of the desert morning air. There was a warmth around his waist, though, and a steady sound of breathing in his ear that told Dan he was still in Phil's arms.

Dan smiled, blinking open his eyes to look at Phil, and oh - that was where his blankets went. Dan rolled his eyes a little fondly. He didn't want to disturb Phil just yet, not even to steal back his furs, so Dan settled himself down onto his stomach, content to watch his Prince's face and maybe drift in and out of sleep for a little longer.

Their little bubble was soon to break, as they had a journey to start and an urgency to their mission. But Dan didn't quite want to give up their newfound intimacy yet.

When next Phil woke, he did so with a giant yawn, the early rays of the sun streaking through Dan's cavern warming up his skin already. He felt kind of sticky and sweaty, and realized with an embarrassed start that he had indeed stolen Dan's furs in the middle of the night. Dan was still in his arms though, neck twisted as he slept on his stomach, breathing even but not like last night. It took a few blinks for Phil to realize that Dan was in fact awake, and he grinned, slow and happy, humming as he unrolled himself from his fur cocoon in order to reach out and touch Dan's cheek.

That warm something that had long since settled in him was back, and fiercer than ever. He could still remember the way Dan had looked at him last night, touched him, and it only fueled everything even more between them. Letting his eyes slip closed, Phil bathed in those memories. He'd given up so many firsts to Dan, firsts that he would never forget or regret.

The touch to his cheek roused Dan again, if reluctantly. He was enjoying simply lying on Phil's chest and savouring the moment, listening to his quiet breathing and feeling safe wrapped up in his arms.

Dan shifted away from the touch, his face screwing up. He grumbled something inaudible and shoved his face determinedly into Phil's shoulder, refusing to wake up unless he absolutely had to. There were precious few mornings that Dan could truly indulge himself, and lying in was one of his favourite things to do. Phil was going to have to learn to deal with that.

"Thought I was supposed to be the thief around here," Dan mumbled slightly louder, shifting around just enough until he could recover the furs that Phil had somehow appropriated while they slept. Phil had unrolled himself now, though, so Dan snatched them back and settled under them, pressing his face back against Phil in a show that no, he definitely did not want to get up any time soon.

There was something particularly intimate and sweet about a sleepy Dan who was also incredibly comfortable with Phil now, and Phil couldn't help laughing as Dan shifted about, stealing back his furs, and slumping back into Phil's slide in an impressive show of not being willing to get up. The entire moment was a stark contrast from yesterday morning, and really made it clear to Phil that Dan had actually slept really well here, compared to in Phil’s rooms’.

Pressing his hand into Dan's curls, Phil slipped his fingers through the soft hair and sighed. They needed to get up and start their journey soon, but a little while longer of resting couldn't possibly hurt, right? And besides, Phil hadn't slept that well either.

On the other hand, he also really wanted to get up and explore Dan's cavern, only he wasn't entirely sure Dan would be okay with him doing that on his own, nor was he sure Dan was going to give up his Phil shaped pillow considering the way he kept shifting his head into Phil's touch like he couldn't get enough.

Sighing, Phil allowed himself to relax a bit more instead, deciding he could get up later. For now, he was just going to let himself enjoy the way Dan nuzzled him and showed him a different kind of trust by being so vulnerable to Phil that morning.

Phil didn't drift, however. Instead, he let his eyes cast about the cavern, taking in all the piles upon piles of objects and lines of exotic plants everywhere. There seemed to be some kind of order to the chaos of the room that Phil wanted to go and figure out. He itched to get up, to discover more about his thief, but Dan was so warm and cuddly right then.

Eventually, Phil couldn't take it anymore. Sure, cuddling with Dan had become his favorite thing, but Phil wanted to see, and so he found a way to finagle himself out of Dan's grasp, stood up with an excited grin, and began to explore. He hadn't had the chance last night.

Dan let out a small muffled groan of complaint when Phil disentangled himself, but he was too sleepy to bother with getting up yet. He missed the warmth of his Prince by his side, so instead Dan rolled himself up in the furs until he was cuddled up in a ball, and stuffed his face determinedly in the rough rug they'd been using as a pillow. It still smelled like Phil - that would do, seeing as Phil had seen fit to abandon him.

Dan could hear Phil moving around the room, apparently stopping to take things in, so Dan opened one eye to make sure Phil didn't accidentally fall on something, or trip and hurt himself. He also wanted to check just what exactly Phil might find - Dan kept his most precious things here in his cavern, and although the significance of most of them would be lost on Phil, Dan was still a little worried about being entirely open with someone new.

And yet, as Dan watched Phil moving around his things, he was struck by the notion that this was completely right. Having Phil among Dan's belongings felt natural, and good, and Dan liked to see him there as if he belonged in this cavern as much as Dan did. Perhaps he could pretend, for a while, that Phil belonged in his world. Dan so wished he could be here permanently.

Dan's home contained a lot of priceless objects and scrolls, but very little of the room was actually made up of gold or jewels or other common objects that the thief stored in his cloak. Instead, there were scrolls and crowns and things Phil couldn't even begin to understand. Of course, there was still the occasional jewel, and as Phil moved about he even found Dan's stash of money, but the more he looked around, the more he began to realize just how much of what he stole Dan actually gave away.

It made Phil’s lips twitch up happily as he looked around Dan’s cavern. The room seemed to hold nothing more than Dan’s favorite things, including the beautiful rugs and draperies hanging on the walls, soft to the touch and full of so much beauty and culture that Phil quickly realized Dan just loved art. Dan seemed to love a lot of things Phil hadn’t realized he might be interested in, and he squatted down next to a bunch of children’s toys, all worn out and old.

Something told Phil that Dan hadn’t stolen these items. Perhaps he’d found them. They were too well loved to be anything Dan would steal away. Phil knew better of his thief; he only took from those who had too much, and no rich child would ever allow their toys to become this worn.

Fingers shifting over item after item, Phil eventually lifted up something very familiar to himself, and he gasped a little as he picked up a little stuffed lion, badly made and rough around the edges, but nonetheless his.

Slow smile taking over his face, Phil brought the tiny item up close to his face, and took in the tiny patch under it’s left foot with a small "M" underneath it.

Martyn had made and given this lion to Phil when he was seven years old and having nightmares every night. It had been a toy meant to protect Phil, and he'd lost it when he was eleven and had gone out into the market alone for the first time, wrapped up in a cloak, and tried to pretend he wasn't the prince.

Dan had found it, and somehow it felt like fate that Phil would find it again here.

Dan watched with mild surprise as Phil paused by the selection of toys he had in the corner of his cave, tucked away like the memories that accompanied them. Dan had kept those from when he and his brother were small - before his brother had died. Mostly they were objects Dan had stolen from market stalls to try and make his brother feel better; even then Dan had taken things from the rich stall owners, even if his parents disapproved. Dan had just wanted to give them a better life the only way he knew how.

Dan sat up a little, ready to stop Phil if he had to - he didn't want to reveal too much about his past - but Phil seemed to be fascinated by a small lion. Dan couldn't recall too much about it - one of the collection of toys he and his brother had played with, before everything got too terrible. Dan hadn’t stolen that one, though, he remembered being gifted it by the older boys he used to run with as a child. Dan had kept it, though, as a constant reminder. He didn't want to forget his past, no matter how much he didn't want to talk about it.

Dan was curious why the lion had caught Phil's attention so much, out of all the many mysterious trinkets Dan had in his cavern. So he sat up a little more, still wrapped in furs, and disturbed the silent peace of the morning. "You know, I thought a Prince might have finer taste than that ratty old thing."

Phil was startled out of his reminiscing by Dan speaking up from across the room, and he whipped his head around to look at him. Dan was sat bundled up in his furs, hair a wreck, and eyes glossy with sleep. It made Phil smile again, and he sat up with the lion still in his hands to return to Dan's side with it.

"Fuck off, I have great taste," Phil complained, though he was teasing. He wasn't too offended by Dan's rude comment; after all, the object clearly meant just as much to Dan as it did to Phil if he kept it here in his cavern, exactly where he kept the rest of his most precious items. Playing with it between his fingers and re-memorizing the feel of the tiny stuffed animal that had seen him through some of the worst few years of his life, Phil let his lips quirk up fondly.

"I think I know where you got this," he whispered, and finally looked back up at Dan. "The market place about… ten or so years ago, right? Twelve," he corrected himself, voice quiet. "I've never been much for the finer things in life. Surrounded by money and able to have anything I could ever ask for, ratty old gifts have always been my most treasured items," he explained, and looked back down at the small, tattered old lion plushie in his hands. He'd loved this thing so much.

"This? This right here feels like fate," he continued. "It's mine, Dan. This toy is mine.”

For a moment, Phil didn’t say anymore. He just kind of stared at the toy in his hands, and played with it between his fingers again, enjoying the silent moment between he and Dan, and reveling in the moment of reveal. Then, finally, he turned back to face Dan with a small grin.

“My brother made this for me when I was seven because I used to have nightmares, and when he gave it to me, he said 'This lion will keep you safe, from now on. He'll be like your spirit animal, and so long as you have his spirit with you, no one will ever be able to hurt you again,’” Phil said, mimicking his brothers voice and laughing a little at how ridiculous he sounded. The memory was a fond one, for him. “At the time, of course, I believed him about spirit animals, and I was convinced that this lion was in me. The nightmares started to go away, and I… well, I got braver. I started to get reckless, to feel annoyed at being cooped up at home, unhappy in my roll as a prince…” Phil trailed off, rolling his eyes at himself.

“How cliche, right? But it’s true. Even then, I was unhappy, approached by girls who wanted me for no other reason than my title. I got my heart broken the same year I lost this toy, the same year -” Phil trailed off, sighing a bit, and running a hand through his messy hair. “The first time I ever ventured out into the marketplace on my own, I was in disguise, and I had my lion on me just in case. I thought he’d give me the strength to survive on mine, that maybe I could run away from my own life for just a little while… but, that very day twelve years ago, I was beaten up in a back alley by some boys. Probably homeless, orphans, like you. They stole all my money, beat me so bad I almost didn’t think I’d survive, and left me to die. If I hadn’t managed to crawl home, I don’t know what would have happened, but a Royal Guard found me curled up at the West Entrance and took me inside. He’s one of the reasons I decided to become a guard, you know, because he took care of me and didn’t rat me out to my parents, offered to teach me how to fight…” Phil trailed off again, remembering, and then shook his head. “Anyway. That was the day I lost my lion. It feels like fate that I would find him again with you.”

Dan listened in astonishment as Phil explained exactly why he'd got so attached to the lion out of all the things in Dan's cavern. The story was an incredible coincidence - and Phil called it fate. Dan had never believed in such a thing, instead sure that you made your own destiny, but this was certainly a coincidence of the highest order.

Slightly in awe, Dan watched the way Phil handled the lion with such gentleness and familiarity. He had no doubt the story was true. Dan leaned into Phil's side a little and grimaced at the idea of a young Phil so brutally injured in the marketplace, his first time out in the market. He must have been young, so sheltered, twelve years ago. Dan felt a sudden ferocious burst of protection for Phil, wishing he'd known at the time, had done something to stop it.

"You should keep it," Dan murmured, his eyes fixed on the lion in Phil's grip. "It's yours, then. I recognise your story. I didn't - I - I wasn't one of the ones there," Dan explained hesitantly, wincing at the idea of hurting Phil, even in the past. "But I - ah - I ran with a bit of a nasty crowd, back then. My father never approved, but my brother was tiny and frail so it was easy for me to slip out, and - there was this group of older boys. Thieves and orphans, mostly, but they gave me stuff if I lied for them, taught me how to steal. They gave me that." Dan nodded to the lion, his voice soft. "I gave it to my brother. We played with it, a lot."

Dan let out a low sigh. His and Phil's pasts, which Dan had always thought were so separate, were in fact not quite so different. At least they intercepted at this one point. It made Phil feel more real - as if he could exist here, with Dan.

If there was anything that could make Phil feel even happier that he'd lost his lion so long ago, it was hearing that Dan had given the toy to his frail little brother, and that the two boys had played with it far more than Phil probably had. Phil had always kept it on his person, tucked away in his pants or shirt pockets, keeping it locked up on himself for every adventure he went on. But knowing that Dan and his little brother had probably given it more love and attention, in a way, made Phil's heart swell, and he shook his head at Dan's offer for Phil to keep it.

"No. It's yours, then. I want you to keep it," Phil said. "It holds so much more for you. I - I'm happy you're the one who ended up with my toy," he explained, and took Dan's hand, turning it over so it was palm side up before dropping the stuffed animal there.

Imagining a young Dan running with a rough and tumble crowd even before he'd lost his parents somehow didn't surprise Phil. Even his brother had been a bit of a horrible menace as a child. It was easy for bigger, older boys to make you think they were cool and draw you in, and the fact that Dan had grown up in the worst parts of the streets made it make sense. Still, there was something else Phil felt like he needed to stay.

"You don't have to tell me you weren't there, Dan. I know you weren't. I think I would have recognized you. But it's important that you understand… I never would have blamed you. If it had been you, if I did recognize your face, if you had beaten me to a pulp...I wouldn't have blamed you.”

Dan tilted his head, narrowing his eyes and studying Phil for any kind of falsehood to his words, because surely he couldn't mean that. He couldn't mean that he'd completely forgive Dan for some of the terrible things he'd done in his past.

And yet, there was nothing but honesty in Phil's face and voice. His eyes held a little sadness, or sympathy, or nostalgia for a time long gone, but he truly meant everything he was saying. And that was just shocking to Dan. How anyone could be so gold hearted, to forgive even the worst of crimes done against them personally - Dan would never have believed it before he met Phil.

“You're quite something, aren't you," Dan murmured with a small shake of his head. He glanced down at the lion in his hand, thumbing over the small 'M' printed underneath it - and now assuming that it stood for Martyn Lester was just incredible. Dan's lips twitched. "My brother would be thrilled. He loved to imagine living in the castle - imagine his face if he knew he'd had an actual Royal toy."

Phil flushed at the compliment, ducking his head and reaching up to scratch the back of his neck awkwardly. He wouldn't say he was anything, really. He was just Phil, and he hadn't always been a good person. In fact, he was of the opinion he hadn't changed for the better until he'd faced off against a great thief who'd reminded him that it was the royals’ fault that bad things happened to good people in the kingdom.

Phil nudged Dan's shoulder as he spoke of his brother, lips twitching and face showing that twinge of guilt and pain that gave away just how much he hurt speaking of them. Yet there was a bit of happiness there too as Phil wrapped an arm around Dan's shoulder. He couldn't imagine what it was like to lose his family at so young an age. He could understand how not speaking of them could be the best way to cope. Phil liked that Dan could open up to him, though.

“I shouldn't have been out that day,” Phil added. “I shouldn't have been carrying so much gold. I shouldn't have been flaunting myself the way I was. Maybe it's hard to believe, but I was so cocky. I'd snuck out of the castle for the first time on my own, I was traversing the streets feeling on top of the world and like no one could touch me, and I'd called those boys out for robbing another kid, acting as though I knew more than I did. It was my fault I got beaten up, and honestly, I think I needed to be knocked down a peg," he explained, grinning.

He remembered that day like it was yesterday.

"It even felt just that I'd lost my lion. I was prideful, even more so then. I thought I was better than everyone. I deserved what I got."

Dan frowned at Phil at that. "But, Phil - I don't ever want to think of you hurt. You didn't deserve it. Cocky or not." He smirked a little. "And believe me, I know just how arrogant you can be. No child deserves that kind of pain, though, and you were just a child. I did far worse, and never had such treatment."

Shaking his head, Phil couldn't agree with Dan. Perhaps he hadn't deserved it, but he'd brought the pain on himself, and it had only served to better him as a person, to help him grow up and make same changes to his character. If it weren't for those alleyway boys, Phil might never have met Dan at all, might be as cruel as those he claimed to fight against the same way some of his royal guardsmen were.

"I quite disagree, my thief. How many stab wounds do you have? I think it may be fair to say you've had just as bad a treatment growing up, and deserved it as little as I did," Phil murmured softly, thinking on the stories Dan had told and the wound under his shoulder blade he'd refused to talk about but which made him uncomfortable when Phil touched it.

Dan pursed his lip, conceding that Phil had a point when he compared Dan's stab wounds to his own upbringing. Dan would never say he hadn't had a hard life, because he absolutely had. He just meant that seeing Phil in pain was never ok, and Dan was going to make damn sure it never happened again. Dan couldn't help but smile a little. "Perhaps, Phil. Though I have to say - the idea of you sneaking out of the Castle is really quite adorable. Tiny Phil wanted to see the world, did he?"

Chuckling, Phil nodded his head, pulling Dan closer and resting his chin on top of his head. "Phil has always wanted to see the world. Phil had always wanted to be free," he murmured, and pressed a kiss to the top of Dan's head. "I think perhaps I was just waiting for you, though," he said and chuckled as Dan shoved him a bit, both men feeling quite playful. Phil meant it, though. Having Dan in his life felt like everything Phil had been waiting for.

"Soppy bastard," Dan huffed, though he was grinning. "You'll never turn me soft." His hands were gentle, though, as he reached up to cup Phil's face in his hands and turn him to face Dan, attention right where it should be.

Phil scoffed, rolling his eyes, but he was grinning so wide, because he most definitely had turned Dan soft. He just wasn't going to point that out yet if Dan wasn't willing to admit it. They both knew the truth as it was, and so Phil just grinned to himself, feeling his insides curl with affection.

"I would give you your freedom, Phil," Dan assured him. "If I could - I'd take you everywhere. All the parts of the world you've never seen, or even the parts you have would look different without a Royal escort. You should see them. You should have the chance, I mean, if you want it."

And, simply because he hadn't spent nearly enough time close to Phil yet today, Dan leaned forward to press a small kiss to the corner of Phil's lips.

Allowing Dan to turn him so they were face to face, Phil's grin softened until it just a small, sincere smile, sweet and softened by love. He took in Dan's alluring features, those eyes he'd grown so fond of, and leaned into him, knowing already he wanted all of that. He was going to make Dan take him everywhere. He was going to steal back his freedom, no matter how long it took.

The moment his family was safe.

Dan's lips pressed to the corner of Phil's, and he closed his eyes, breathing out softly. He leaned his forehead against Dan's, leaned his cheek into Dan's hand, and reached up to place his hand over Dan's.

"I do want it," Phil admitted. "And I'm going to take it. But first... I have a duty I must perform," he insisted, knowing and hating the fact that he would be the one to pop their bubble.

Dan sighed, though he'd known this moment was coming. As much as Dan might wish to stay here, in his cavern with Phil where no one could find them, and keep up their happy little world, he knew they had to move. Phil's family were in danger, which meant Phil might get hurt, and hadn't Dan just sworn to himself never to let that happen?

So, Dan pulled Phil in for one more lingering kiss before pulling back with a reluctant sigh. "You're right. Sadly. Come along then, my Prince."

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #ineverhadmyinternetphase #snowbunnylester #fanfic #fanfiction #dan and phil #writing #fic #fics #steal my heart (steal my whole life too)#chaptered phan

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