#literally a day after getting back from vacation

[devotedlyandrogynousyouth]

I know this sounds so boring but what Bruce with a polite, wise gentle girlfriend? This is so boring 🥹🙂‍↕️ I’m sorry🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

No omg I actually love how like domestic this request is, in a way?? Literally in love with the amount of creative freedom that you guys let me have with reqs.

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BF! Bruce Wayne w/ a Wise/Caring Girlfriend

BF! Bruce Wayne who you're convinced really doesn't have a chill button. There are only a handful of times over the past few years you've been together where he's been home, unoccupied, and not pacing around the Manor like a maniac.

BF! Bruce Wayne who's always just so sore, achy, and tired. This comes into play especially when his age finally starts catching up to him, depite how hard he pushes his body. The best thing, however, is that if you get him to sit down for more than five minutes, you'll get to rub his back.

"Sit."

"Hm?" He was pacing the lavish master bedroom again, his mind working overtime to plan ahead for a recent situation with his 'nightly extracurricular.' In all honesty, he wasn't paying attention as you watched him from the edge of the bed.

"Come sit with me, Bruce." You repeat softly, moving to lay back against the pillows and holding your loving arms out for the tired man beside you.

"I can't-"

"You're going to burn out if you keep going at this rate, Bruce." You don't even give him the chance to protest before you're leaning forward, grabbing his wrist, and pulling him to lay on top of you with his head burried into your chest. There's a few moments of domestic bliss as he tries to find the will to pull away and fails. "Sometimes..." You start softly, the heels of your palms gently digging into the knotted muscles of his back and shoulders, "Sometimes I think you forget to breathe."

A deep breath and a soft sigh can be heard, although its slightly muffled by your chest. "I know." He whispers after a few moments. "Im sorry."

"Don't be." You respond without hesitation as you continue your gentle ministrations. "You shouldn't apologize to me. Ever, Bruce." You pause for a moment as thoughts gather. "You should, however, apologize to yourself for what you keep putting yourself through.

BF! Bruce Wayne who doesn't realize it, but needs your help so much more than he'll ever need anything else. It doesn't matter if you know that he's Batman or not, you somehow just... Know what needs to happen. Bruce, of course, tries not to let you in on exactly what problems he's facing, but he swears you have a sixth sense for this kind of stuff.

BF! Bruce Wayne who absolutely melts every time you make him dinner, even though he likely won't be home to eat it. He often forgwts to eat between work meetings and beating the everloving shit out of criminals on the Gotham City Streets.

The feeling of a large, caloused set of hands resting on your waist was enough to pull you out of your own thoughts as you put down the spatula in your hand. "Somebody's home early." Your voice is almost a teasing jest to Bruce, but he knows just how much you've missed him over the past few days.

"I heard that a certain lovely woman was in need of attention." His voice is slightly muffled by the skin of your shoulder and fabric of your shirt as he practically buries himself into you, pressing a soft line of kisses up your neck.

"You can't just keep cancelling work meetings for me, handsome." You turn to face him for a moment, pulling him down slightly to press a kiss to the tip of his nose. "You need to start doing things for your own sake."

BF! Bruce Wayne who refuses to go on a vacation for years. Until you listen in on some banter between him and a few of the 'Elite Gothamites' at a Wayne Gala and find out where he's always wanted to go. And proceed to drop subtle hints that you want to go there until he finally gives in, because how could Bruce ever resist that begging tone? After all, it made him feel less guilty that it was for you (it totally wasn't) and less selfish for taking time away from the city forgotten by God.

"You have impeccable taste in locations, beautiful." He mutters before pressing a kiss to your warm cheek, broad arm already around your shoulders as you basked in the setting sun of the private beach he rented out for a few days.

"Maybe you should listen to your girlfriend a little more, Mr. Wayne." You tease softly before gently grasping his chin in one hand and pulling him in for a soft, sweet kiss. His lips mixed with the faint taste of liquor are as close as you feel you'll ever get to heaven.

BF! Bruce Wayne who, if you know about his identity as the Caped Crusader, goes to you for help as little as possible. You undertsand that he's doing it for your own protection, but you can't help but feel a little upset over him.hiding even more from you.

"No, there will be too many thugs waiting at that entrance." He mutters softly, eyes trained on the flashing and blinking lights displayed on the Batcomputer forming a map of a warehouse inhabited by the Joker.

"What if you went in through those vents?" You ask softly, moving the hand not on the back of his rolling chair to point out a hidden ventilation system. "Sure, I get that it's a tight fit, but you could probably take of the utility belt for a few minutes, right?"

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Masterlist

[melanated-writersblock]

⋆˙⟡♡₊˚⊹.Lunch Rush.⊹˚₊♡⟡˙⋆

[CEO!Husband!Yunho x BlackFem!Exec!Reader]

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾. Where you and Yunho wanted to start trying for a baby, and with a long lunch break in your schedules, you decide to pay him a visit to try your hand at conception.

content: car sex, semi-public sex, thigh riding, cloth-ripping, piv, unprotected sex (wrap it up irl pls), cowgirl, doggy, full fledged backshots, like 2 creampies?

word count: 3.4k

a/n: This fic cost me 5 FUCKING DOLLARS TO MAKE?!?!?! I had to pay to use a fake text generator, so if any of you have a site or app that I can make fake text messages FOR FREE then PLEASE let me know😭. This was self indulgent but I wanna dedicate this fic to all my fellow Hotteoks🫶🏾 And the bitches that fantasize about getting nutted in and getting it poppin’ in the back of the parking lot (in theory of course)! WwaBRiM!

‧₊˚✩. ˚. ♡ ☁︎

To this day…you and Yunho’s BIGGEST regret in your relationship…is and ALWAYS WILL BE….agreeing to go to the christening of your friends’ 6-month old baby boy.

Everything was beautiful. The ceremony, the cathedral, the way the baby nestled into Yunho’s arms so naturally, and reached out to play with your bangles with such curiosity and wonder. It altered both of your brain chemistries, and you weren’t sure if it was for the better or not.

Your friends didn’t help either, saying things like “Parenthood would look so good on you two!” and “I can’t wait for your baby shower invitations.”.

How could they…….

After you pushed your meetings back to later in the week. After Yunho gave his team a free day when they could’ve been in the office perfecting the play-through on his new game before its release. Two very busy people with very busy work schedules, and you carved out time to come support your friends and their son, and they pay you back with…….

BABY FEVER?!?!

You and Yunho planned your futures out to a T. Go to university, get your respective degrees, join a company that you interned with, work your way up, become the boss, get married, honeymoon in The Maldives and spend your paid vacation days in The Swiss Alps.

Starting a family was definitely in there somewhere, but everything fell in line so well that it got lost. You’re at the top of your games…Yunho, figuratively and literally, with his gaming company being the best in the country and all…and you became the creative director for a top cosmetic brand. It really was all good. But it was lacking. And you both felt it. Ever since that christening.

You felt it every time one of your work partners went on maternity and paternity leave. Every time there were children in the offices on ‘Bring Your Kids to Work Day’. Every time Yunho saw posts or videos of kids around the world dressing up as characters he helped create. Every time your homegirls would send you milestones of their babies taking their first walk, or biting into a lemon for the first time. You two worked hard and accomplished everything you wanted to, everything except starting a family. It resonated for days after that christening.

For Weeks.

Months, even.

The energy around the house shifted. Yunho would steal glances at you as you did the simplest of routines, imagining your belly being round as you sip your favorite tea in the kitchen, waddling from room to room barefoot and pregnant. And you’d watch attentively as he’d play his video games, envisioning a child full of joy as he teaches them how to defeat their first villain. After a while it got to a point where neither of you would hide it. It became all too real, too wanted. And why not? What was stopping you two?

Everything was green lit once you and Yunho put it into the atmosphere and finally discussed it. You both were just about ready to start baby proofing the house and nothing even happened yet, becoming more proactive than you already were. Tracking apps were monitored, routines were tweaked, and everything seemed to be doable…but your work schedules…your jobs were the biggest obstacle. Just when could you slip away for a bit to see each other? When would be the right time to make a ba-

“Hey, I’m picking up my kid so we can go to lunch. I’ll be back in 2 hours!”

Your Editor in Chief pops their head in your office briefly before heading down the hall to the elevator, snapping you out of your rambling thoughts.

…………..Lunch Break.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾. ‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾. ‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾. ‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾. ‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

You reverse your sedan into the space next to him before hoping out and swishing towards the driver’s door, knocking softy. Your ears perk up at the sound of r&b playing and a silent laugh escapes you. The dark windows of the door lower, revealing Yunho in the driver’s seat, fully reclined with the top buttons of his shirt undone and the silver crucifix you adorned him with for your anniversary gleaming.

“For a second I thought you were backing out on me.” He smiles at you, his voice deeper than usual, evidence of a brief stolen nap. “Traffic was hell, I would’ve been here in half the time otherwise.” The door unlocks and you climb in, grazing over Yunho’s body as he adjusts the driver’s seat sitting up slightly, he grabs ahold of you to help you straddle him, and like clockwork, you lean in beginning your onslaught of abuse on his lips.

Snaking your hands into Yunho’s hair, he moans, deepening the kiss, his tongue dancing ever so eloquently with yours. “I missed you.” He says breathlessly between kisses, “You saw me this morning before I left boo!” You tease him, fixing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose that slid down in the midst of your passion, “That’s too long.” He pokes his lips out, and you console him with light pecks to ease his playful angst. “You’re so needy, you know that right?” “And you love me for it.”

Yunho starts to undo his shirt more, a sinister smile on the corner of his lips as he looks you over. “Come here,” You lean into him, your hand placed against his bare chest, the rock on your wedding band a flashy contrast to his skin. “Lift up for me baby.” You lift off of Yunho for a second as he helps you readjust yourself, now straddling one of his thighs. The pinstriped black skirt you wore for work today riding up your thighs. You let out a huff, immediately feeling the pressure of Yunho’s toned thigh on your bundle of nerves. Your black tights and panties not serving as any sort of buffer to the sensations. Your pussy lips spread apart feeling the course texture of his slacks. You let out a staggering sigh, reality finally setting in what you were about to do. “That’s right, you’re gonna ride me and come all over my thigh, and thennn~” Yunho begins to rock your hips back and forth on his thigh. You lurch forward, your right hand immediately planting on the interior wall of the Rover, “Damn, feels good right?” “Yeah, yes it does. Fuck.”

You place your other hand on his shoulder, stealing support as you rock onto him quicker, a few front strands of your freshly done soft locs coming undone from the high pony you put them in this morning, to his delight. Yunho enjoyed the sight of you working yourself on him, he loved how neat you looked before you climbed in the suv with him, and is obsessed with the thought of how disheveled and fucked out you’re gonna look when he’s done and you climb back out. Fuck, it’s all he’s thought about since you mentioned it in the texts. He couldn’t wait to get his hands on you, to touch you, to feel you, to fuck you, to ruin you, to caress you, to make love to you, to put a baby in you……finally.

You watch Yunho as he closes his eyes, deep in thought, mindlessly guiding your hips against him, as if he’s immediately feeling all of the pleasure that you are in that moment. You begin to rock against him quicker, an impending climax moments away. Yunho opens his eyes, watching you as your moans get louder, less polite, more shameless. You lean your head forward trying to compose yourself as much as you possibly can in this situation, and he smiles at the sight. “I’m close………..fuck, I’m close.” Your hand now caresses his face as you lean your head on his shoulder, hunching him like a bitch in heat. “You’re close?” “Yeahhhh~” “Fuck, you’re gonna come all over my thigh like that?” “Yeah!” “Yeahhh, just like that?” “Yes! Yes! Just like that!” Yunho bounces his leg softly as you continue to rake against it, riding out your high as a warm dampness spreads on his designer slacks. He moans at the feeling, damn near coming untouched just from witnessing your pleaser unfold before him.

You steady your panting for air. Embarrassed, you pat at the wet spot you left on your husband, “I did not expect that I-“ “I did, you’re ovulating.” Yunho caresses your cheeks fully heated with shame, and kisses you, laughing into the kiss. “I don’t think you understand how hot that was, don’t apologize my love.” He gestures to the passenger seat, helping you off of him and guiding you there to sit tight and catch yourself for a second. He then leans the drivers seat back fully again, stepping over it to sit in the spacious middle seat. He unbuttons his shirt the rest of the way before removing his glasses, tossing them somewhere far in the back seats. He holds one of his hands out to you, patting his thigh sharply with his other, ordering your immediate presence.

You crawl over the front armrest and take Yunho’s hand as he helps you towards him. You start to kneel down in front of him and he stops you, “Nooo no, no, none of that today.” “But I really want to.” “I knowww, and you do it so well, but we’re kind of on a fixed schedule.” Yunho gestures behind you to the time on the soft glowing screen on the dashboard. You sigh in agreement, “I wanted to get you ready too.” “Oh babe,” He begins to undue his belt buckle and pants, his fully hard cock slapping against his lower abdomen as he slides his pants down lower freeing him. “Does it look like I need to get ready?” Your mouth waters, his cock glistening as precum trails down the tip, and you moan at the sight. “Oh my God.” He laughs at your eager demeanor, “Come here baby,” he pats his thighs again signaling you to straddle him once more, your legs on either side of him cushioned by the materials used to adorn the luxury car seats.

Yunho hikes your skirt up higher, sliding his hands underneath to trail down your sheer-tights-clad inner thighs and up to your panties. Your breaths were short, shallow, hesitant. You closed your eyes as Yunho felt you up, getting you worked up again in the process, unbeknownst to himself, or was this all part of his plan? “These weren’t too pricey, right?” He pinches at your tights, “No they weren’t, why?”

****rrrr-rrrrrr-rrrrrrriiiiippp!****

You gasp as you feel the force from Yunho ripping your tights right down the middle, smacking his shoulder. “They weren’t pricey but they were my favorite!” “Shhh, I’ll buy you 10 more.” You lean your head on his shoulder, pouting…until you feel his slender hands move your panties to the side. Your breath begins to get shallow again, feeling his warm tip slide up and down your wet folds. You moan involuntarily, “Awww, come on baby I haven’t even put it in yet.” “I knowww, I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.” “I do,” You feel him slowly push into you, leaning your head back as you cry out. “This cunt was just waaaiting to get fucked, because today is a little different than the other days,” He picks up his pace, fucking up into you steady but firm, “Today your pussy is a little bit more needy for me,” the recoil of your ass sending vibrations through your lower body as Yunho’s movements are relentless. “Today you’re gonna let me get you pregnant.”

And there it was. Your brain immediately shuts off. “I’m gonna fuck you so good, and so hard-” “Unnnnhhhhhooohhhh my Godddddd!” “Yeahhhhh, yeah let me hear you baby,” You grip the disheveled collar of Yunho’s shirt, completely at his mercy, taking what he gives you. “I’m gonna cum all in this pretty fucking cunt and get you pregnant, I’m gonna make you a Mommy.” “Yunho Please! Pleaseee~” “Please what my love?” Yunho lifts your chin up to meet his gaze, your dark brown eyes staring several miles into his own, communicating beyond a frequency that sound couldn’t even capture in that moment, and he understood every bit of it…but figured it would be fulfilling just to hear it fall from your lips, “Pleaseeee? What.” “Please make me a Mommy~” In seconds, he snakes an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest as he drills into you. “Ahhhhhh!!!!” The sound of your screams, bounce off the interior of the car, and you pray that the seats absorb it all.

“Yesss, yes! Let me hear you Mama. Fuckkkk let me hear you!” “Fuckkkk!” “Uh huhhh~ Fuck! You sound so good taking my dick like this! Ughhhh~” You both were a mess, fully enraptured in pleasure and no longer prisoners to time. You place your forehead against Yunho’s now eye to eye as he continues to lean into you with force, your breathing syncing with his, both chasing your highs. “You’re gonna cum, aren’t you.” He asks you with dark eyes, almost as if it wasn’t a request. Suddenly you’re whimpering against his lips, “Yeah you are gonna cum, you’re close, so close for me.” “I’m-“ “I’m gonna-“ He mocks, imitating your whines, “You’re gonna what, cream around me and take this cum like a good little wife?” All you could do was gasp at his sharp remarks, “You’re gonna cum for me like a good little wife? Hm?” “Yeah!” “Yeah? You’re gonna take my fucking cum like a good fucking wife?” “Yes! Yes! Ye- Yes! Yes! Yes!” You gush around him, repeating your words like a mantra against his ear. He returns the favor, “Good Girl’s” replaying in his surprisingly vulgar vocabulary as he finishes inside of you. You collapse against him for some time. Aligning your heaving chest with his as you both come down. Clammy from the altercation. You swivel around some assuming it may help with the progress, and he moans a little.

“What are you doing?” Yunho laughs at you endearingly, watching you be an unintentional menace. “I don’t know I just thought it might do something.” You giggle some, lifting off of his softening length with your combined messes drooling out of you and down your inner thighs. Yunho takes it all in, shaking his head in amazement at the fucked out state of you. Just as he imagined it, better than he imagined, even. Staring him down, you study his body language, how he looks subtly exhausted but not TOO drained. Almost as if on a bodily timer, your temperature starts to rise again, “You’re plotting.” you narrow your eyes at him. Sucking in a sharp breath between teeth, Yunho helps you up, only to place you over the front armrest.

You squirm as your stomach and breasts make contact with the cold leather. “See I KNEW you were plotting!” “Oh hush, don’t act like you’re not excited.” Yunho makes light work of your tights, pulling off and discarding what was left of it, and sliding your panties off of one of your legs in order to spread them further apart. Your breathing catches at the gust of air that hits your pussy. Yunho’s cock inches away as he works his hand over it. He reaches his hand around holding it out to your mouth, “Spit.”, and you oblige him. He continues to work himself hard again, one hand bunching your business skirt up your waist, exposing your bare ass. His hand slides down to caress it, before landing a harsh smack, resorting back to soothing over the stinging spot. All marks undetectable on your brown skin, he lands a few more smacks on both cheeks, knowing he’ll be safe. You jolt and whine at the barrage of sharp pain and he leans down to pepper the side of your face in kisses, rubbing your attacked spots to soothe the pain.

“Don’t forget to breathe my love.” You didn’t realize you weren’t until he mentioned it, immediately offloading a heavy breath. Yunho clicks his tongue as he braces one hand on your shoulder to hold you in place, fiddling with the bunched up hem of your skirt. Your body stiffens as you feel him use his fingers to collect your cum and push it back into your pussy. You shudder in pleasure, still recovering from your last high, not too far from another if touched too much. You feel him shift behind you again as his cock teases its way past your entrance one more time. “Mmm, You wore this skirt on purpose Mama?” He glides into you with ease, bottoming out effortlessly, and you sink into the armrest, your moan resembling that of a pornstar’s. “You knew you were gonna see me to get this pretty pussy filled, Hmm?” Yunho immediately picks up the pace, keeping his hand firm on your shoulder, guiding you back onto him. “Ooooohhhhh~” “Yeahhhh? You wore this skirt because you knew you were gonna get knocked up with my babies? Huh?” Yunho’s words started to slur as they turned into shameless moans, “Yeahhh~ keep moaning for me, it’s just us here, keep going, I wanna hear youuu~” even he started sounding pornstar-like, it was music to your already ringing ears.

He began to pound into you with fervor, your tits now hanging over the armrest, bouncing violently as you grip the seating of the driver’s and passengers seat to avoid going headfirst into the dashboard. “Oh fuckkkk I’m gonna cum again, shit- shit- shittttt~” Yunho plants a foot on the flooring of the suv to steady himself as he leans flush against your back, engulfing you. “Yes, yes, yessss~ come inside of me pleaseeee~” Your final plea sends him over the edge, ultimately setting off a chain reaction that makes you cum around him all over again.

You shudder with each thrust as he slows his pace gradually before coming to a complete stop, staying in the same position as he bear hugs you from behind over the dashboard. You laugh to yourselves as you match your breathing once more, an exercise you both had been doing since the start of everything. Thank God workers at Yunho’s job actually took advantage of leaving the facility for lunch, or else your windows definitely would’ve been knocked on. Sure, the 5% tint helps, but you’re sure the car rocking would’ve given enough away.

Yunho peels himself off of you and helps you up, sitting you down next to him in the middle seats. You lay your head on his shoulders, the both of you visibly fucked out, his shirt open and hanging off of one shoulder with a button or two missing, crucifix chain crooked yet still sitting proudly on his chest, even after such a sinful act, your soft locs fully down, and splayed along and running down the side of Yunho’s torso, your skirt and his pants still undone, your blouse surprisingly still somewhat presentable. You both sit in solitude and enjoyment of each other for a little while. Yunho looks down at you lovingly, watching as you pull your phone out to do something. “Are you doing what I think you’re doing?” “Letting the Editor in Chief know that I’ll be out of the office for the rest of the day? Noo, I couldn’t possibly…” “Oh well that’s a shame…” You look at your husband, waiting, “Because I told the team to take the rest of the day off.” THAT’S why the deck looked so lifeless. “I can’t believe you set me up!” He peppers your face in kisses one last time.

“Alright, let’s get out of here, we defiantly need to change. We’re celebrating tonight.” “Tonight? Forrrrr?” “For theeee…..you know…..” Yunho gestures towards himself then your stomach, and you grin knowingly. “The lunch rush?” “Exactlyyy, the lunch rush.” He says before pulling you in for one last kiss. Yunho helps fix up your appearance before assisting you out of the Range Rover and back into your car. Kissing you for the last time yet again. “I’ll be right behind you.” He starts back to his vehicle, looking over to you, “Oh, feel free to put me in your schedule whenever you have an hour or two for lunch. Just to make sure it takes.” Yunho winks at you, getting back in the car as you both leave work for the day.

‧₊˚✩. ˚. ♡ ☁︎ If you liked what you read, please let me know, it gives me hope. Comments and Reblogs are always appreciated ‧₊˚✩. ˚. ♡ ☁︎

[sigritandtheelves]

this fic is so close to done, but it has been a stupid insane week and i'm at 0% brain capacity just sitting here like 😐 every night

[vampyroteuthid]

that was probably the worst day i've had at work so far which is saying QUITE a bit not even counting the potential rabies exposure. even the one remaining tech (again the only person doing most of the work) is talking about threatening to quit (for the second time) because of the vet's bullshit.

[marciliedonato]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY FELLOW BEAUTIFUL ‘99 BABY I HOPE YOUR DAY IS PERFECT ❤️❤️❤️

OH HI ANGEL !! UR....AN ANGEL THANK U MWAH it's definitely been real lol mostly good vibes but it feels like it went by too fast lmao how is it 10pm already??😮‍💨😭 one year closer to my milf era ig ✌🏻

[possum-tooth]

I MIGHT NOT HAVE TO GET A SECOND JOB OVER THE WINTER!!!!!!!

[dubacheryking]

HELL YESS MOTHERFUCKERS I AM GETTING MY FUCKING APARTMENT BACK IN LIKE A WEEK YESSSSSS

[applejarjar]

Why is it so hard to deal with other ppl

[batshit-auspol]

I just spent some time scrolling through this blog and am suffering from sever laughter. Thanks so much for collating the countries craziest moments. One of my favourites is when Scott Morrison was in Hawaii while the bushfires where burning.

December 2019: As Australia's east coast is engulfed in the worst bushfires in living memory, rumours begin to circulate that Australia's Prime Minister Scott Morrison may have secretly fucked off for a holiday in Hawaii.

Keep in mind, this is what is going down in Australia at the time:

The Hawaii rumour is initially written off as a fringe conspiracy, because surely nobody could be that fuckin tonedeaf, and it was quickly forgotten about... until an Australian man visiting Hawaii UPLOADED A SELFIE ON THE BEACH WITH THE PM THROWING A SHAKA.

At which point all hell broke loose.

Overnight the formerly popular "Scomo" became the most despised man in all of Australia. Think "firefighters shouting out of their windows to news cameras" level of despised.

After about two days of radio silence and pretending like he was still at home running the country, the Prime Minister's handlers finally dragged him onto call with an Australian radio station, where he pinky promised to return to Australia as fast as he could in an attempt to calm things down.

Unfortunately Scott's empathy consultant (a real job) then had to watch Scott pour more gasoline on the dumpster fire by uttering the now famous phrase "Look I don't hold a hose mate" when asked by the radio interviewer why the fucking fuck the fuckhead wasn't fucking in Australia doing his fucking job during a massive fucking crisis.

Testing just how much worse things could get, Scomo then proceeded to NOT rush back to Australia as promised, instead attempting to complete the rest of his holiday, a fact that was exposed when a passerby snapped a picture of him still lounging on the beach two days later.

Eventually, holiday complete, Morrison did reluctantly slink back to Australia, and in an attempt to calm things down, he decided to pay a visit to a small town that had been destroyed by the fires.

Which was a big mistake.

Scomo still had not registered how absolutely and totally he had screwed the poodle with his Hawaiian beach vacation, and he walks into what is now taught in PR classes as one of the greatest examples of "what not do do in a crisis" in all of history.

Scotty from Marketing, as he is now dubbed by the nation, spends a painfully cringe-inducing hour wandering around a burned down town with TV news cameras in tow, having to FORCE PEOPLE TO SHAKE HIS HAND in what is some of the most awkward footage you will ever see.

At this point it's probably also worth mentioning that, before becoming Prime Minister, Scott Morrison's biggest claim to fame in politics was being the guy that was so far up the coal lobby's arse that he literally brought coal into parliament and waved it around, claiming it doesn't hurt people.

So when a protest was organised it turned out to be one big national fuck you to the Prime Minister, the likes of which the world has never seen before or since.

Needless to say, at this point Scomo's career was dead in the water, but thanks to the rules brought in to stop Australian political parties from knifing their leader every two weeks (a popular Aussie passtime) Morrison basically couldn't get fired until after the next election.

And so, when the election rolled around in 2022, we decided that was an opportune time to travel over to Hawaii to erect this bad boy tribute to the Prime Minister, on the very beach where Scomo had sat and drank margaritas that one fateful week in December as Australia burned (thanks to @chaser for funding the ticket)

[luludeluluramblings]

One thing I always wonder in Neglected! Reader scenarios that I haven’t seen anyone explore is Married/Single Mom! Reader. It’s drama and angst potential.

Like Reader having a boyfriend and getting pregnant while still living in the Wayne manor, and everyone just takes a little too long to figure out. Maybe they do find out early with the morning sickness and whatnot but the thought of Bruce looking at Reader like 6 months pregnant and being like “Wait a minute… 🤨” and Reader wasn’t even trying to hide it that much.

And same scenario except Reader moved out either while pregnant or got pregnant after, Batfam forgets all about them and when fate does bring them together (like the Bruce/Selina wedding concept) she is literally about to pop or has a whole baby with her. Cue Bruce (and later everyone else) losing his shit because omg??? 😧 that’s his first grandchild and he had no idea!!

… And then if the Reader is married in this scenario, makes it all the more complicated (she didn’t invite anyone to her wedding? what do you mean Alfred attended when we had no idea?). Everyone is straight up hostile towards her spouse (Damian, Bruce and Jason are insufferable) and safe to say he won’t be around for long. Single mom Reader though, the amount of emotional manipulation about kids needing a family and father figures and you should move back in so everyone can help with the baby… Yeah.

Platonic!Yandere!Batfam x SugarBaby!Reader x Older!Husband

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N:OOOOO, I have something I was working on that I was having fun with that you might like!

A/N:Neglected!Reader with Older!Husband. (It's husband because it's based of that meme Your daughter calls me daddy, too. And, Reader is Female, because we're making a baby in here.)

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

You, sweet thing, do the typical thing and run off from home, once you turn the legal age. Checking in with Alfred on occasion, but just living your best life. Only, in typical fashion, all those years of neglect lead to severe daddy issues. And, a minor itty bitty attraction to older men.

You get lucky though because you manage to find a fine one that loves to spoil his baby girl with vacations and spa days. All the best for his baby. He loves taking you places and showing you a good time. So, it's no wonder he plans a Babymoon for you when you're expecting your first child. Anything for you.

Unfortunately, Daddy gets called into work right before the vacation. And, despite you insisting you stay, he makes you go and promises to join you as soon as possible.

(No, the man isn't cheating. He just gotta make the money for his baby.)

You have a good time, pregnant on the beach. Getting massages and spa treatments. Video calling your husband every time the baby kicks and flutters.

Unfortunetly, even though you haven't used the Wayne name since you've been married, some drug lords recognize you and decide to ransom you. Dragging you back to Gotham in your little sundress the just so hides your baby bump.

Gotham media runs with the story. Lost Wayne heiress held hostage. No one is ignoring that.

The bat's pull off a daring rescue, but you being stubborn, try to escape on your own. Fearing for your baby's life if they just happen to chose not to come. They never came when you were little, why would they come now.

You happen to injure yourself while escaping. But, manage to make it to an on scene ambulance while the Bats take care of the thugs. You happen to faint on the way to the hospital, leaving the doctor's discover you pregnancy.

Already the media is surrounding the hospital for the most drama filled story of the year. Thankfully, the paramedics have some compassion in hide the bump when rolling you into the ER.

With the media's attention, your husband flies into Gotham and makes it to the hospital just in time to ask the nurse where you are in front of Bruce.

Bruce, of course, bristles when a man his age burst in the hospital demanding to see you, but is using the wrong last name. The nurse saying only family can see you.

"That's my daughter," Bruce will say. Assuming this man is trying to claim you as his. But, he already did.

Making Bruce, the family, the nurses, the patients, and the reporter who managed to sneak in freeze when he says, "That's my wife."

Imagine the doctor that just finished checking on you and your baby walking in right after announcing that you were both okay. The look on Bruce's face when he realizes that this man, his age, not only married you, but had the audacity to put a baby in you.

Even better, the smug way your husband looks at Bruce when he brushes past him to follow the nurse to your room because husband beats father and you demanded to see him.

The drama that follows is going to be legendary.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: I had this idea jotted down and fluffed it up just for this. I'm not sure you wanna know who I had in mind for Reader's husband. (Dude is from another franchise.) But, the thought of him interacting with Bruce as the guy who married Bruce's daughter and knocked her up, delights me in such a visceral way.

[xjulixred45x]

I could't contain myself guys sorry--

Bro, do you realize how scary it would be to have Vox as a Yandere?

just imagine it. You could be one of his workers, maybe too good at your job, because not only do you do what Vox tells you without asking questions, but you also know what to say and what not to say to avoid a "tantrum" from him. or rather, when his insecurities attack with force like when Alastor returns.

Vox would probably be a somewhat condescending yandere (as seen with Val) but don't think you can't turn tables easily, if you stroke his ego enough, you can have him around your finger. but that doesn't make it any less dangerous for those around you.

He makes the typical 180 degree turn in attitude when it comes to Other Employees and when it comes to You. Damn, you may be the only one of his employees who gets paid vacations (or even vacations) or even birthday bonuses, things like that. He likes to give you his things or products with the excuse that "they are for testing" even if they have already been released on the market.

Like:

Vox: who the fuck eat My leftovers!?! WHENEVER WHO WAS I'M GOING TO-

Darling: it was me sir.

Vox:--give You the rest and take You out for lunch, You haven't eaten in the whole day AGAIN, didn't ya?

He definitely avoids conflict with you by hypnotizing you, when he starts to feel hostility, fear on your part or that you want to leave, he makes you "out of nowhere" have "ONE MORE TASK" and you can't help but do what he says.

and IT IS NOT just to avoid fights or for you to leave, it is something CONSTANT (once every two days MINIMUM), although Vox is not worried about your brain turning into mush due to its powers, it always keeps nutritious things in your diet and they come out relatively often , as you have to follow him everywhere.

Eventually he becomes more clingy and needy in this case, it's practically not that he's proposing to you or anything, he's just slowly dragging you into a relationship without you realizing it (because you're not lucid enough). Unless you develop a higher level of tolerance to his hypotonic trick, I don't think you'll notice his Red Flags.

I think it would be ESPECIALLY BAD if Darling is also a Sinner, because then they wouldn't even be able to get out of the pride ring to run away from Vox. leaving you with many fewer options and having to avoid all of Vox's technology, which you could only achieve by 1- going to the Cannibal Legion or 2- going to the Hazbin Hotel.

Running away is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT, not only because of his hypnotic trick, but because he literally has EYES EVERYWHERE, on every screen in hell. If you somehow manage to get away with it and run away, Vox would be SO ANGRY and looking for you all over hell with their screens.

Although definitely if you were gone more than a day, he would be more distraught than angry and would begin to despair. Even Val and Velvet would give him a hand because of how bad it would be.

Just imagine, thinking that you finally lost sight of Vox's search drones, without realizing that you stand in front of some store and VOX ITSELF appears on the screens :)

If you made the stupid decision to go to the Hazbin Hotel, Vox would be distraught and would even think that Alastor was somehow holding you hostage, obviously! Why would you go there if you knew his biggest enemy was there? Alastor must be using you as a bargaining chip! How dare he!?

(in this case, fortunately, the punishment is much less severe, but he would definitely monitor you for the rest of your life)

When he eventually gets you back (after a few days or even WEEKS of anguish) expect, first of all, to be in a mortal embrace that lasts AT LEAST 2 days and then receive your "punishment" which would be to be under hypnosis for AT LEAST 1 YEAR to be sure that this NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN.

Although calm down! He gives your mind breaks periodically because 1- he doesn't know if that would ultimate mess with your head and 2- it's nice to hear YOU talk instead of the robotic version.

When that year FINALLY ends, you will be a much more obedient, more terrified, sweeter version of You, according to Vox, like a frightened Deer. It was a long and hard process, but the good thing is that you don't have to do anything anymore! absolutely! Just do what he tells you and everything will be fine.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

Not one of the Best yanderes to have, but Def not the worst

[starlostseungmin]

husband!chan

✰ notes: the second entry of husband!skz series!! this is just for the meantime since my brain is still not ready to write a lot. i hope you guys enjoy!! not proofread. DO NOT FORGET TO REBLOG, COMMENT AND LEAVE TAGS! thank you <33

seungmin（ chan ）lee know , jeongin , han , changbin , felix , hyunjin.

ꔛ

Husband Chan who got down on one knee and asked, “Will you marry me?” on a private beach—just the two of you—because it was his ideal proposal and you gladly said yes. 

Husband Chan who took you to (name of country) for your honeymoon. 

Husband Chan who would take you to Sydney for a vacation and meet his family. 

Husband Chan who suggested to make Berry as your child while you were still thinking about having literal kids. It doesn’t matter how long, he only needs you and Berry to make him happy.

Husband Chan who has seven children to feed and declare you as his wife. 

Husband Chan who puts you first before everything. 

Husband Chan who loves to send pictures with the caption “For your eyes only,” and giggles to himself while reading your replies saying how much he looks cute or handsomeーhe can imagine your reactions. 

Husband Chan who loves movie nights and lets you decide which one you’d be watching so you better wear the most comfortable clothes and prepare a bucket of popcorn. 

Husband Chan who cooks you a lot of food and loves spoon-feeding you because you are his precious baby. 

Husband Chan who pretends he doesn’t know about you stealing his hoodies. He doesn’t mind and gets all giddy when you wear them since they look cute on you. “I’m not giving them back,” You said. “What’s mine is yours, baby,” He smiled. 

Husband Chan who invites you out on a dinner date on a casual weekend because he knows you would enjoy it. After dinner you would stroll around the city, holding hands. 

Husband Chan who carries you to your shared bed when he finds you sleeping on the couch while waiting for him to come home from work. 

Husband Chan who writes love songs about you and gets teased by Han and Changbin. 

Husband Chan who gives you the silent treatment but can’t put up with it for hours so he just pretends nothing happened and cuddles you. 

Husband Chan who knows what exactly you want when you’re upset and would gladly take you in his arms. He never leaves your side unless you want some space but you can’t be away from him for too long. 

Husband Chan who scolds you when you are not resting enough when he’s out there overworking himself. You decided that both of you should take a few days off which he willingly agreed to so he can spend more time with you. 

Husband Chan who lets himself be vulnerable when he’s with you because you’re the only one with whom he could let it all out. 

Husband Chan who loves to spoil you with hugs whenever you need them. 

Husband Chan who listens and understands whatever situation and dilemmas you have without any judgments rather he reassures you that everything will be okay. He gives you his full support for your decisions. 

Husband Chan who knows everyone in the industry so he knows a lot of controversies. He would share them with you on a random Sunday to gossip and giggle. 

Husband Chan who loves to make dad jokes and relays pick-up lines just to make you laugh. He gets embarrassed when it’s not funny so he hides in the bathroom until you get over it.

Husband Chan whose love languages are physical touch, words of affirmation, and acts of service. 

Husband Chan who has the most precious smile and laughs adorably makes your heart leap. 

Husband Chan whom you love the most in the world and will not let anything hurt him. 

Husband Chan whom you want to spend the rest of your life with, forever and always. 

Husband Chan who will never leave, never lets you go, and never allow you to divorce him because there’s no reason to begin with. He loves you, you love him, same story. 

✰ taglist: @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly , @sleepyleeji , @starseungs , @midsoulz , @oddracha , @armystay89

©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.

[ceesimz]

Daydream

You go on vacation with Alexia, Mapi, and Ingrid. (Autistic reader)

Set after Wilted, which covers the journey to the UCL final. Other parts of Reverie can be found here. This is a very long but fun one!

Contrary to popular belief, travelling was something you adored - flying especially. Being 36,000ft up in the air, literally having the best view in the world with absolutely zero responsibilities or expectations? Heaven. Working in an industry that took you not only around Europe, but around the world too, really was a dream come true. And it just so happened to be that the Champion’s League Final you would hopefully be playing in, another dream come true, was hosted in one of the few countries you were yet to visit.

Portugal. It had been high on your travel list for a while, and the moment Mapi had suggested a couples’ vacation in said country after the biggest game of your life, there was no way you could say no. 

Initially, you had your doubts though. Going on vacation straight after such a high-profile game, the most important one of the season, might not be the best idea. You had faith in your team, just not in yourself. And with so much at stake, it was difficult not to worry anyway. If you lost, you’d most likely want to lock yourself in your apartment for a week before the utter embarrassment wore off. But at the same time, if you did win, the whole experience would probably be so overwhelming – in a good way, of course – that after endless celebrations, you’d most likely just want to recharge your social battery in bed. 

However, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity that you simply couldn’t pass up on. Recovering from a harsh loss on some of the most gorgeous beaches in Europe sounded like bliss, or exploring a whole new country after winning the most prestigious tournament in the footballing world might be the best reward possible. 

So, after some in-depth discussions with both Alexia and Ingrid, the vacation was booked. The first couple days after the final would be spent in Lisbon, two of the best rooms booked at a five-star hotel that allowed for plenty of time of rest and recovery after god knows how many celebrations. Then, from there, the four of you would make your way to the astounding island of Madeira, the main place that attracted you about the country. 

And when it came to the long awaited day, the dream scenario occurred: not only did you play in the Champion’s League final, you scored in the Champion’s League final. It was the winning goal too.

Football didn't really get much better than that. 

The feeling was euphoric to the highest degree, something you hadn't experienced before. You were addicted to it, wishing you could ride the adrenaline wave forever. This was why you played football, why you got out of bed in the morning, and why you chose to live even when it was difficult to want to.

To top it all off, you were surrounded by the best people whilst achieving your dream. In the changing rooms, a medal around your neck and champagne being passed around the room whilst people danced arm in arm to the music blasting from a speaker, you looked around and let it sink in that these people were your family now. They knew you, truly knew you, and even with all that knowledge they carried on loving you anyway.

You looked back on all your memories so far, when it was so terrifying to be stood in the same building as these football giants, nevermind the same room. But, nearly a year down the line, they were family. You stood in their presence, adorning the same iconic crest and the same gold medal as them all, feeling like you belonged.

That realisation winded you a bit, because it was something you had struggled with all your life. For so long, deep down, you worried that if you did achieve your dream, you still wouldn't feel worthy of it. Yet, that feeling was long gone. There was no negativity dragging you down, no voices pulling you from the moment and suffocating you in anxiety. All that was there was complete and utter joy.

So, when that sunk in, you sat down in your cubby and slumped back against the wall. The festivities continued around you, but you wanted to take a moment to capture it and live in the present. You could enjoy it later, for now you wanted to see it from the outside before you got lost in the celebrations.

You just wished one person was beside you, rather than being stuck with media commitments down the corridor.

"You okay?" Esmee had come over to sit next to you at some point, having noticed you were a little subdued.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm okay. It's... it's crazy, isn't it? To be here, with this team, this medal. I'm just taking it all in." You explained, watching everybody lose themselves in the glory high.

"It is crazy. I remember feeling overwhelmed the first time I won it here. It's amazing but a lot to take in. Don't feel... embarrassed, or something, if you need to step out. I can come with you if you'd like." The Dutch girl told you, suggesting an idea that sounded like something you could do with at that moment.

"I think I will. I'm going to go see what Ale is up to, see if she's finishing up anytime soon. Thanks though, Esmee. I appreciate you a lot." You stated sincerely, pulling her in for a brief hug.

"You too, MVP." She grinned, giving you a gentle shove as you stood up and walked away.

Just as you turned the corner out of the locker room, you bumped into the one person you were looking for.

"Oh, engel, is everything okay?" Alexia asked, her hand holding onto your hip to steady you.

"I'm okay, just getting a bit much in there. Esmee said it best, I think I'm getting a little overwhelmed so I was just going to..." You trailed off, unsure what you were actually going to do next. You didn't know the stadium well enough, nor did you know where you were actually allowed to go.

“We can find somewhere to go. Come.” Alexia took your hand in an instant. 

Little things like this, Alexia saying ‘we’ and opting out of celebrating yet another trophy with her team in favour of helping you, they weren’t little. They meant the world to you.

She led you through a few corridors, smiling and waving at a few people she walked by that lit up at the sight of her. But you were more important to her. A few polite rejections later, and you had made it to a more secluded side of the stadium where the only people there were workers. The midfielder spotted what looked like an empty office, sparsely decorated apart from a desk and some chairs. 

“Are we allowed in here?” You wondered as Alexia ushered you in and closed the door behind her. She shrugged and smiled at you when you sat on the edge of the desk. “How was the media stuff?”

“Same as always.” Alexia answered, taking a seat in the chair opposite you, shuffling it close enough that you could rest your feet on the edge of it. “How does your leg feel?” 

“It aches a bit but it’s okay.” You told her, smiling bashfully when she leaned forward and started gently massaging the underside of your thigh, the one that you injured a couple months ago and had only recently come back from. “Thank you for taking me here.”

“No problem, mi amor. It does get a little crazy sometimes for me too. I’m more than happy to be here with you. You just won your first Champion’s League.” Alexia stated with a proud grin, unable to stop herself from laughing with you when you giggled at the ridiculousness of her statement.

“You just won your fourth.” You reminded her with a shake of your head only for the woman across from you to shrug again.

“Winning it with you, it feels like my first all over again.” She said simply, as if the sentence wasn’t one of the sweetest things you had ever heard. “Did I tell you how amazing your goal was? I’m pretty sure I had the best view in the whole stadium. It was really incredible, engel.”

That compliment didn’t just mean a lot to you because it came from your girlfriend, but because it came from the world’s best footballer. Two time Ballon d’Or winner, two time FIFA Women’s World Player, and so many other awards that would take too long to name, was gushing about how good of a player you were. She complimented you all the time, but this particular moment tugged at your heartstrings so much you felt like tearing up.

“I love you.” You replied, because those three words seemed like the only ones in the world to convey your gratitude as intensely as you felt it.

For some time, the pair of you sat in that room together, in the stadium where your wildest dreams had come together to exist in one space, and relished in the present. Some minutes were spent talking, about everything and nothing, whilst others were spent in silence, simply enjoying the other’s company and coming down from the adrenaline rush that the day had been.

The only downside was that you couldn’t spend forever in an empty office, which you were reminded of when some rushed Spanish caught Alexia’s attention down the hallway outside. It sounded awfully like some of your teammates, and your girlfriend took that as your sign to leave. She told you just as much, though as she got up and headed to the door, you were glued to the wood underneath you.

One thing about falling in love with Alexia is that, over time, it’s become so much harder to hide things from her. Your resolve collapsed so quickly around her. And you were beginning to realise that you loved it. Not only did it make your life quite a bit easier, but you loved that you had a person so dedicated to you that you could be completely yourself around her, that you had a safe place for the bad to go in hand with the good. You hadn’t ever experienced that before like this.

She took one look at you and saw straight through the flat expression you wore when something was plaguing you.

“Cariño.” Alexia hummed quietly, catching your attention properly as she stood by the door with her hands on her hips. “There is something on your mind. What’s wrong?”

“I… I don’t know.” You mumbled with a shrug. Alexia moved then, coming to stand in front of where you still sat on the desk. “I guess…  I am worried about the vacation.”

“Why?” She wondered, and you sighed. It sounded silly to say that, considering you had just achieved your dream yet there you were worrying about your vacation. Luckily for you, Alexia always knew what to say exactly when you needed it.

“I have been on vacation with Ingrid, multiple times. I’ve never been on vacation with you or Mapi before. So… I’m scared, I think, of what you both might, um… think of me. Seeing me in a different light, a different environment, for two weeks straight. That’s a long time.”

Of all things, Alexia couldn’t ever have guessed it was that which was making you so anxious. 

A frown quickly formed on her face, hating that even after months of being together, you still had doubts when it came to your own relationship. If she could take them all away and carry them for herself, she would. She hoped that, one day, you would be able to understand the depths of her unconditional love and realise there was nothing about you that would drive her away.

She delicately cupped both your cheeks and tilted your head up as she towered over you, before she leaned in to firmly but tenderly kiss your forehead. A combination of physical touch and words of affirmation, your two favourite love languages, would have to do for now. 

“I mean it when I say I love all of you. I promise you don’t have to worry about Mapi and I judging you. I have been so, so excited for this vacation because I get to spend time with you away from our busy lives. Away from the pressure and the stress. We can be just us on vacation, we’re not footballers or ‘celebrities’.” Alexia said that word with such distaste, a slither of an amused smile formed on your face. “I normally find it difficult to fully switch off and relax on vacation during the summer break. But I have a feeling that it will be easy this time, because you help me relax. Did you know that?”

“No, I didn’t.” You admitted. Alexia smiled and ran her thumbs along your cheekbones.

“It’s true. When I am around you, it is like all my thoughts disappear. All I can think about is you and how… calm I feel when you are around, like everything is as it should be. How happy you are, how carefree you can be, I love it so much. I’m so excited to wake up with you every morning, to go to sleep every night with you, to spend every day with you. You are my favourite thing in this world, engel, nothing could change that.” 

Her voice was so soft and sincere, it left no room for any more of your doubts. All you could think about after she finished talking was the adoration in her voice when she spoke about you. 

“I’m excited to spend every day with you too.” You whispered shyly, a sheepish smile on your face. 

Alexia beamed with a smile then, and her hands dropped from your face as she sat back down in the chair from before. With confusion etched all over your face, Alexia chuckled before she carefully slid you off of the desk and onto her lap, sitting you sideways and turning your head to face her with one hand under your chin. The other arm wrapped around your waist to keep you secure in the position, and when she knew you were comfy, she leaned in and kissed you. It didn’t last too long simply because of the smiles on your faces.

The blonde rolled her eyes as you laughed quietly, a grin full of unbridled joy on Alexia’s face as you rested your elbow on her shoulder and started combing through her hair in a soothing gesture. You hoped the minor action would communicate how grateful you were for Alexia and how she always knew exactly what you needed to hear, even if your words couldn’t get that point across.

“We will have the best two weeks ever.” Alexia sighed in contentment, her eyes falling shut as her forehead fell forward to rest on your cheek.

“If I carry on doing this, you’ll fall asleep, won’t you?” You teased after a moment of quiet, shaking your head when Alexia hummed noncommittally.

“No, because I am thinking about how I get to see you in a bikini everyday for two whole we- why did you stop?”

“I can’t believe after the conversation we just had that you would say that.”

“It’s the truth, I can’t wait to- ow! Don’t pinch me like that, cariño!”

—

A day as monumental as the Champion’s League final where you were running on adrenaline the whole time, it either led to an energy dump where you slept for twelve hours, or to a night where you didn't sleep at all. 

On this occasion, it was the latter. There were so many feelings coursing through your veins and, not even Lisbon’s top hotel with the comfiest bed you’d ever seen with your girlfriend beside you could lull you to sleep.

Sleep was something you'd always struggled with, even since you were a baby, so you were well versed in dealing with it. When it hit 7am the day after the final, despite the fact you and Alexia had only reached your hotel room after 2am, you got ready for the day and headed out on a walk.

The previous night of celebrations was the cherry on the cake of the biggest win of your life. Most of your teammates were so drunk, you'd be surprised if they even remembered their own names when they woke up, but you remained sober the whole time. It allowed you to take everything in, to bottle up the experience of winning the one title you had dreamed of all along so that you could remember the feeling forever. 

So you walked mindlessly around the city of Lisbon, looking around in awe at the sights and scenery around you, until you found yourself along the coastline. You found a bench and sat with the beautiful view and your thoughts. With the city waking up behind you as the waves lapped against the cliffs below, it was then that everything sunk in. You weren’t sure how long you stayed there, deep inside a daydream about how far you’d come. 

You thought about your time in Norway and all the challenges you had faced there. You thought about Germany and everything you overcame even when it seemed impossible. You thought about Spain and how much you’d achieved but not in terms of football, even though a quadruple was pretty damn impressive. Instead, you just smiled, because all you could think about was the fact that yes, you’d had meltdowns and days where you couldn’t physically bring yourself to get out of bed, but those were things that would happen no matter what. What was different was how open you were, how you allowed people in even when your brain tried to reject the vulnerability you desperately wanted. Those things and many others had enabled you to perform better than you ever have before, as well as letting you get close to your team in ways you never had in the past… literally.

It was only when you heard a certain Spaniard calling your name that you realised you had been sat there, watching the world go by for god knows how long, paying no mind to your actual life instead of the endless stream of daydreams going through your head.

“Hola, preciosa! What are you doing here?” Mapi slid into the space beside you with a cheerful grin, a pair of sunglasses seated on her nose with the string you always teased her for around her neck.

“I went for a walk, couldn’t sleep.” You told her with a smile, watching as she nodded before averting her eyes to the view in front.

“No, I didn’t sleep much either.” She hummed distantly, a hint of a smirk on her face that had you scoffing.

“I think I can imagine why.” You muttered, shaking your head at how her smirk only deepened.

“Sí, they have really great champagne at our hotel, you know? Makes for a fun night.” With a roll of your eyes, you elbowed the defender in the side and grinned at the yelp of pain she let out. “You are just jealous.”

“Sure. The only thing I’m jealous of is the fact that Alexia is back at the room sleeping still.” You grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest. Mapi’s excitement faltered a little then, a small frown forming on her face as she slung an arm around your shoulders.

“You did not sleep at all?” She wondered in concern.

“No. Not for a second.” You sighed, leaning into Mapi when she pulled you closer to her side.

“That is what vacation is for- staying in bed the whole time.” She said, before pausing. “Ay, I did not mean for that to sound… dirty.”

You rolled your eyes yet again, though you smiled regardless. You really valued your friendship with Mapi. She didn't have to be your friend just because you knew her girlfriend, but she chose to anyway. That wasn't something you took for granted.

“How'd you know I was here anyway?” You asked out of curiosity because really you had no idea where you were.

“I was going to get some coffee for me and Ingrid from a place a few streets away from here, then I saw your location so I came to check on you.” She replied simply, a sweet smile on her face that emphasised the kindness embedded in her words. “So, how are you?”

“I'm tired but okay. I'll live.” 

The defender to your right nodded in understanding, though the two of you fell silent after that. All that could be heard was the coastal city waking up behind you and the waves hitting the rocks below. It was peaceful, perfectly serene, and exactly what you needed after such an intense day. In fact, the landscape around helped to ground you. Not everyone has the chance to experience playing football in front of tens of thousands people packed into one stadium, which also means not everyone understands how strange it is to go from that company to this silence, save for the sound of the passing world. Those two contrasted each other so heavily, even after being in this career for over a decade, it was still hard to get your head around it. That was one of the reasons why you eventually decided that this vacation would do wonders for you.

It served as a perfect, necessary reminder of what your life actually was away from the football pitch when you were getting so wrapped up in the intensity for it. If you basked in that intensity for too long, it would do more damage than good. So yes, the vacation was a tremendous idea, because being sat there with one of your closest friends and taking in all of the calmness that the earth had to offer was so important to you and your mental health.

“What about how you feel after winning your first Champion’s League?” Mapi turned back to you and asked a question she hoped she would hear a positive answer to. Ingrid and Alexia had both been aware of your struggles with impostor syndrome and feeling like you belonged, so the query was a bit of a loaded one. She couldn’t have been happier for you when she heard your response.

“I feel good. I’m overwhelmed, but not… not in a bad way? Like, I don’t feel anxious at all, which is new. I just feel happy. It’s all sunk in this morning and I don’t feel like I’m drowning under all the new emotions I feel. I’m… happy. My chest doesn't feel suffocated like it does when I feel anxious, it feels light because I know I'm happy. And I'm proud of myself.” 

You were proud of yourself. 

That was a statement you had probably never made and meant it until that moment. But you were proud. You made this life for yourself and you allowed yourself to reap the benefits and thrive, anxiety-free. This might be the peak of your career and you weren’t even afraid of that fact, it didn’t fill you with fear or doubt. It filled you with pride.

“You should be so proud of yourself. I am so proud, Ingrid I know is so proud she could cry. She did cry actually, when we were walking back to the defence after you scored yesterday, I looked at her and she had tears in her eyes.” Both her arms came to wrap around you as she squeezed you tight, somehow resting her chin on top of your head despite being the shorter one.

“She's gonna be mad that you outed her like that.” You said, but there was love swelling in your chest at the thought of your best friend being so happy for you, she basically cried. That was unfathomable to you.

“Hm, well, she's done worse to me. She will forget about it when I bring back coffee and breakfast in bed to her. You want to come with me, get something for Ale? It is easy girlfriend points.” She grinned at you and it was easy to give in, not that it would have taken much convincing anyway. 

“Sure. You have to lead the way though, I have no idea where I'm going.” 

Mapi did lead the way, taking you to a café hidden away in a side street that had the most amazing pastries on display in the window. Even hours later, Alexia hadn’t called yet, which you knew she would when she woke up, so you took that as a sign that the blonde was still asleep. She’d had a few drinks at the party but not much, though you figured she would still wake up feeling a little rough. As you waited for Mapi to order, stood in the queue behind her, you smiled at the thought of Alexia still snoozing away back at the hotel. And as ridiculous as it was, you couldn't wait to get back to her.

A while later, you let yourself back into the hotel room, a cardboard drinks tray in one hand and a paper bag in the other. The door shut too heavily for your liking behind you, and you grimaced at the disgruntled huff that came from the bed in the main room. Though, you couldn’t help but laugh quietly at it as you padded your way over to where the sound came from. After placing everything down on the bedside table, you slipped your shoes off and clambered onto the bed. Alexia lay on her stomach, her arms crossed under her pillow as she hid her face to block out the light.

“Alexia.” You hummed, lying beside her and leaning up on one elbow whilst your other hand softly ran up and down her bare back, save for the sports bra she wore. “Wake up, Ale.”

“No.” She grunted, not moving an inch. You laughed again at her, to her annoyance, and she turned her head in your direction to glare at you with one eye. 

“It's ten in the morning, lazy bones.” You whispered, shifting down the bed and copying her position, your faces now right in front of each other.

“Shh. No hables.” She grumbled, closing her eye again and letting out another huff. “Sleep.”

“I can’t sleep, sleep is boring. Waking up to make your girlfriend happy is so much better.” You couldn’t see her mouth, but you saw the way the corner of her eye creased, a sign that she was secretly smiling. She unfolded one of her arms from under her and slung it across your back, pulling you a little closer.

“You did not sleep?”

“No.” You responded dejectedly a few seconds later. Alexia could hear the frustration in your voice, even in her tired state. “I went for a walk instead. And I got breakfast too.”

“Hm, what did you get?” She opened her eyes properly then, and you smiled at how sleepy and peaceful she looked, more than all the times you had seen her in the mornings beforehand combined. If this was the version of her you got everyday for the next two weeks, you weren’t sure you could let it go.

“Coffee for you, and some food. You can decide what you would prefer though it might be the end of us if you choose wrong.” The midfielder hummed and smiled over at you, her hand moving to cup your cheek and stroke the skin there with her thumb.

“You brought breakfast.” She murmured, looking at you so earnestly soft, you didn't know what to do with yourself under her gaze.

“And coffee. For my amazing, lazy girlfriend.” 

The blonde didn't even retaliate to your claim this time, she was too wrapped up in you. And as you turned over and sat up to reach over to the bedside table to grab the food and drink, a strong arm pulled you back by your waist.

“Good morning, campeona.”

She smiled lazily before surging up to slowly, tenderly kiss you. It distracted you, pulled every thought from your mind, and you gladly indulged in it, because you could. Because you were on vacation, and you had all the time in the world to kiss your girlfriend as much as you wanted for the next two weeks, just like she had promised. 

“What did you get?” She wondered when she broke it off, not a hair out of place meanwhile you were breathless and a little mindless at her actions.

“Um…” You breathed out. “I-I got you a coffee, and then some pastries and a smoothie bowl. Your choice what to have.”

“I think I remember you saying you will break up with me if I have the pastries so I will choose the smoothie.” She smirked, though rather than sitting up she simply just laid back down again. “But I would prefer to lay with you for a bit because I think it is unfair that you left me before I woke up.”

“Unfair? I got bre-” You were cut off by two hands carefully pulling you further down the bed and a body landing heavily on top of you. “Ale, what about breakfast?”

“Breakfast can wait. I want to cuddle with you.”

There was a part of you that knew these next two weeks could quite possibly be the best of your life.

—

The couple days in Lisbon were exactly what you hoped for them to be. A lot of time was spent relaxing, whether that be beside the pool or in the spa or in your hotel room. On the final night, the team held a celebratory dinner at a nearby restaurant that was as chaotic as anyone would expect. All of them went out afterwards to some bar or club, but you decided to slip away quietly with nothing more than a simple text to the group chat and another to Alexia. However, just as you rounded the street corner to get back to the hotel, a hand grabbed your arm and scared the life out of you.

When you turned around, there Alexia was. 

“You didn’t tell me you were leaving?” Alexia frowned, a little breathless from running as she came to stand in front of you.

“Those things aren’t really my scene. I thought you would have wanted to stay and celebrate with the team.” You said shyly, crossing your arms over your chest and looking anywhere but at her eyes. If you had been looking at her then, you would have seen the utter confusion on her face as she frowned impossibly more. 

“No, amor, I want to celebrate with you.” She stated firmly, gently pulling you into a tight hug and kissing your cheek. “You are part of the team, you are my family. I am pretty sure you are my soulmate, so of course I want to celebrate with you. There’s no fun going to a bar and watching them all get drunk when I know I could be with you. You are always my first choice.”

You couldn’t help the bashful smile that forced its way onto your face where you rested your forehead on her shoulder, and you unfolded your arms from between you both to wrap loosely around her waist. Despite the guilt you felt at dragging her away from your teammates, you couldn’t help but revel in the fact she had chosen to stay with you instead. Even if it was just another evening spent in the hotel room, neither of you could deny that it was so much better than being surrounded by twenty-something drunk people, especially with a flight to Madeira the next morning. 

Said flight was painful for a certain Spaniard, and it wasn't your girlfriend. You and Alexia arrived bright and early at the airport, checking your bags in before heading for breakfast at one of the restaurants they had there. About half an hour after you arrived, Ingrid showed up with an amused look on her face, which was initially confusing before a rough looking Mapi rounded the corner. She had sunglasses on, headphones, a hat, and her travel pillow around her neck. You and Alexia couldn't help but laugh.

“Don't annoy her. She's threatened to cancel the villa booking since it's in her name.” Ingrid murmured, sliding into a chair beside you as the defender slowly made her way over. 

“Oh, she wouldn't dare.” Alexia grinned, and you could tell by the glint in her eyes that she was about to fully take advantage of the situation approaching her. That situation being a very grumpy, very hungover Mapi León.

As soon as the shorter woman sat down, Alexia patted her on her back in ‘greeting’ before slinging her arm around her shoulders and yanking her headphones off. It only got worse from there. 

The seats for the flights were in pairs, two in one row and another two behind them. Rather than sitting with you, Alexia quickly side-stepped Ingrid and took her seat next to Mapi. This side of her was something you didn't see often, but you couldn't lie and say you weren't loving it. She had turned into a menace towards her best friend, there was no other way to describe it, and if Mapi wasn't so annoying like Alexia was now all the time, you and Ingrid might have felt bad. But you didn't.

In fact, the in-flight entertainment provided by your captain was better than any movie you could have watched. You knew Mapi would get Alexia back when she wasn't feeling like she'd been run over by a truck, but you kept your mouth shut for your own selfish wishes to see them both bicker it out for two weeks. Ingrid barely blinked an eye at the two’s behaviour, she had seen it for the past four years she'd been at Barça, whereas it was still a novelty to you and you thought it might always be.

“I’m not sure those two will make it out of this vacation alive, nevermind as friends.” Ingrid commented, making you laugh as you heard Mapi scold Alexia once more whilst your girlfriend pleaded her non-existent innocence. 

You both watched the pair of them for a little longer before you dived off into conversation of your own, leaving those two fools to their own accord. It was a fairly short flight, so a little over two hours since you found your seat, you were heading down the steps with Alexia behind you as Mapi stormed off ahead. 

Not that you were entirely surprised, the taxi ride to the villa was mostly silent, even when you arrived outside the beautiful house that had been rented for your time here. The shorter defender gave a very brief, mumbled explanation of the layout before trudging away to the bedroom she had apparently designated for her and Ingrid. The door slammed shut behind them, and you had a feeling they, or Mapi at least, wouldn’t resurface until the evening. That left you and Alexia to your own accord.

Your girlfriend was glancing around the room still as you looked over at her with a shyly excited smile, your hands fidgeting with the straps of the rucksack on your back like a child on their first day of school. Alexia took in your silence and sensed your gaze, so turned to look at you, a grin of her own forming.

“I think it’s about time we did some sunbathing, hm?” You suggested, noticing the glint to her eye much the same as the one back at the airport and giggling as she nodded emphatically. 

“And I think you should let me choose which bikini you wear.” She murmured, reaching out to link your fingers together and nodding her head for you to lead the way to the bedroom. 

It was beautifully decorated, exactly as you pictured a Mediterranean AirB&B to look like, and the view outside was even better. There were some sliding doors leading directly out into the backyard, where there was an outdoor kitchen you could already imagine Alexia and Mapi fighting over who was the chef, as well as a pool and some garden furniture you wouldn’t mind having in your future home one day. Hopefully with Alexia. And maybe even in Barcelona, permanently.

A small amount of unpacking was done, but you both were honestly too eager to transition into vacation mode to focus on boring details like that. As promised, you let Alexia choose which swimsuit to wear and she ushered you into the ensuite to change whilst she picked out one for herself. You finished up before her, so you opened the door to find her staring out the glass at the view of the ocean beyond the garden whilst she finished tying the last knot of her bikini bottoms. She hadn’t heard you, as far as you were aware, so you quietly padded through the room to come up behind her.

Gently, without spooking her, you wrapped your arms around her bare torso and settled against her back, sighing contently. Your hands sat on her hips where there was only a small string separating you from her soft skin, and her larger hands covered yours when she moved them. Neither of you spoke, both more than happy to indulge in the silence and the company of the other. 

This, you could quite confidently say, was bliss in all its entirety.

Hundreds of miles away from home with nothing planned but to spend time with your girlfriend and two of your closest friends. Doesn’t get much better.

—

“Alexia, for the last time, hurry up!” You groaned whilst pounding your fist on your shared bedroom door. 

You, Alexia, Mapi, and Ingrid were all set to go for dinner on the third night, finally deciding to actually spend time as a four rather than staying in separate sickeningly-sweet loved up bubbles as couples. However, Alexia had kicked you out of the room as she finished getting ready, leaving you stuck in the lounge with two women that could hardly bear tearing their eyes away from the other.

“What is she doing in there?” Mapi asked in amusement, a smirk to her face that only added to your frustration.

“I have no idea but she is going to make us late.” You sighed, slumping down on one of the sofas. 

Still, a few more minutes passed by and there was no sign of Alexia. The three of you could hear her in the other room, yet you were left alone with two women that looked like they wanted to jump each other’s bones everytime they caught the other’s eyes.

“Can’t you guys stop eyefucking each other for more than five seconds?! God.” You scoffed, shaking your head as Ingrid blushed and Mapi grinned manically. 

“I cannot help it. Look at her!” The defender argued, only for the bedroom door to open as she was talking.

“Look at who?” Alexia wondered, trying to hide her smile when everyone in the room turned to her, especially you. “We can go now.”

“Finally.” Ingrid grumbled, grabbing Mapi’s hand and leading her outside where the taxi was waiting. 

Meanwhile, you were still hung up on the sight of Alexia. More specifically, the dress she was wearing. There hadn’t been many other occasions for her to wear something like she was now, considering you had gotten together in the Winter and had been busy with the tail end of the season… until now. Maybe your behaviour was a little objectifying but you knew she wanted that reaction out of you. Well, she had gotten it.

“Engel?” She hummed, trying to avert your attention back to her eyes. “Oye.”

“Hm?” You blinked up at her, rather gormlessly. Then you snapped back into reality and out of your… daydreams. “Sorry! You just… ugh.”

“I guess that is a good reaction?” She smirked when you dropped your head into your hands. 

“When the hell did you buy that?!” You exclaimed as you abruptly stood up, eyes almost bugging out of your head.

“After the Madrid game! You were in bed next to me when I was ordering online!” Alexia laughed at the situation she found herself in; deep down, a tiny part of her was weirdly proud of herself for guessing that you'd react like this. She was learning, something she worried about. Even if this occasion was unrelated to it all, and only about your… attraction. To her.

“Well, I- it's ridiculous! Ridiculous that you are dressed like that! And I thi- this is unfair! Taking advantage!” Safe to say, your mind was in overdrive. 

“I'm taking advantage? I had to tell you to look at my face!” This back and forth, it was addictive. It wasn't arguing, it was a love language.

“Because you look too fucking good for me to react normally!” You pinched the bridge of your nose and took a deep breath, attempting to regain some composure. All it took was one look back at Alexia for it to fly straight out the window. “Okay, we have to leave, like, right now.”

At that, you turned on your heel and started marching towards the door. Only, there were footsteps following behind you that sounded awfully faster than your own. That thought became a fact when a hand grabbed yours and stopped you in place by the front door. Before you knew it, a body was in front of you and two hands were on your face, tilting your head up as lips crashed against your own.

It was the kind of kiss that melted your mind completely, your mouths moving together in a perfectly rehearsed harmony, charged with hunger. You didn't have time to think as Alexia controlled it, deepening it and suppressing her grin when you whimpered desperately. Dinner was the last thing on your mind at that moment, but the same couldn't be said for your girlfriend, who pulled away just as you had caught up. 

“Come on. Let's go.” She said simply, using her thumb to wipe away a bit of smudged lipstick before turning to open the door. You were frozen on the spot still, since your world had stopped turning when the blonde had kissed you and it was taking a little while to start spinning again. 

“You… kiss me like that again and we'll never get anything done, ever.” You replied breathlessly, staring up at her like she was the only person that existed apart from you.

“No, I can think of many things I would do.” Alexia shrugged, the corner of her mouth twitching with her stupid smirk.

“The universe hates me.” You grumbled, pushing her out of the way to open the door and storm out.

And it was just your luck that you opened the door to the taxi and the last seat available in the back was next to Mapi. Alexia had already taken up the front seat beside the driver.

“Can't you guys stop eyefucking each other for five seconds.” The shorter defender mocked in a high pitched voice under her breath, yelping and almost scaring the driver when you elbowed her sharply in the side.

After that incident, the four of you made it to the beach-side restaurant thankfully unharmed. When you arrived, the sun had just begun to set, turning the sky a hazy orange colour that perfectly matched the beautiful set-up of the restaurant. 

Your table was right beside where the golden sands of the beach began, trailing off into the distance where the calming ebb and flow of the waves began. You knew, as you took your seat so that the view was on your left, you would most likely spend more time gazing off into the horizon than partaking in the dinner conversations. What was even better, though, was the fact that none of the three you were with expected anything less, yet they still chose your company time and time again. Alexia sat beside you to your right, and once the starters of the meal had been decided, your eyes immediately averted to the left. It didn’t take long before a hand settled on your thigh, palm facing upwards for you to hold with one of your own whilst the other took turns fidgeting with her rings, her bracelet, or just mindlessly tracing shapes across her already tanned skin.

There was something so comforting about being in a group of people that were your closest friends, knowing that the rest of them would happily take up slack of the conversation whilst you sat and listened. It was weirdly relaxing, being surrounded by people you love, and who loved you enough to let you unmask and bask in their company in whatever way you wanted to that day. Turns out, you were in a quiet and content mindset, having let go of the inhibitions that held you back in most other settings and being whole-heartedly yourself. Not for a second did Ingrid, Mapi, or Alexia shy away from that, and whether you were in a mood where you could talk for the whole of Europe, or you just wanted to mindfully enjoy the setting you were in with the presence of your favourite people in the world, they were happy because you were happy. 

Shortly after the dinner orders were placed, the starters came and went, the other three passing their dishes around for each other to try them whilst you were more than content with your own… even if Mapi did try and steal some off your plate. It was then that one of the waiters came over and said the main meal might be a little longer due to it being a busy evening, something that didn’t bother any of you, not much could in such an incredible location. But, you decided to come up with an idea to pass the time after seeing others scattered up and down the beach doing the same thing.

“Ingrid, come with me to take some photos on the beach. The lighting is perfect.” You suggested, your best friend nodding eagerly and immediately standing whilst reaching for her own.

Before Alexia and Mapi could get a word in, you and Ingrid were already out on the beach, shoes slipped off and left behind as you walked closer to the sea. The two Spaniards allowed the silence to sit between them as they both watched the women they loved, separate soft smiles on their faces that held the same meaning. They let it be for a while, occasionally sipping from their wine and laughing at something you and Ingrid did, until Mapi spoke whilst her eyes stayed glued to her girlfriend.

“Those two are something, no?” She commented, Alexia humming in agreement as her smile grew wider, cheeks starting to ache. Mapi turned to look at her then, though there were no teasing tones to her voice, only sincere honesty. “I heard a movie director say something once. He said that time goes on but friendship doesn’t age. When you have known someone from when you were younger, no matter how old you turn, when you’re together again you instantly revert back to being the ages you were when you met. Those two met when they were teenagers, and when they’re both in this mood together, it’s like they’re sixteen all over again.”

Alexia looked at her friend, her eyebrows raised a little, not expecting the defender to say something… quite so profound. She’d hit the nail on the head with it though, because when she turned back to her two favourite Norwegians, all she could see was a joy that wasn’t quite childlike, but something strangely akin to it. The realisation made her heart ache, unknowingly raising a hand to rest over the organ that had been unnoticeable to her before you came along. You had stoked the fire and made it come alive, she believed, even if that made no sense at all.

“Since your girl moved here, I have seen a different side to Ingrid. I feel like I have fallen in love with her even more because of it.” All Alexia could do was nod, because she was truly speechless. Anything she could say in that moment wouldn’t live up to the pricelessness of the conversation.

Meanwhile, some hundred metres away, you and Ingrid were none the wiser.

“What is happening over there?” You said to Ingrid, distracted by the two left back at the table as they… stared at each other? 

Ingrid, behind the camera as she photographed you in front of the ocean and the setting sun, stood up straight and turned around. She huffed in amusement at it and shook her head, turning back to her phone to look at the photos so far.

“They’re probably in some kind of stand-off. Idioter.” You smiled at the Norwegian term directed at them both, but it didn’t exactly seem like they were arguing.

“No, it looks like they’re both in some American movie, like they’re about to stand up and dramatically hug the life out of each other. Like it’s the first time they’ve seen each other since coming back from the war or something. So dramatic. I’m weirded out, and a little scared to go back over there.” Ingrid laughed and you did too, laughing at the ridiculousness of your words and whatever was happening back at the restaurant. 

You joined them not so long after, the Spanish pair seemingly have gotten over whatever it was that was happening and brushing it off. You figured that it didn’t matter and forgot about it as soon as your dinner was placed in front of you later, though Alexia had pulled your chair a little closer when you had sat down, something that had you blushing unnecessarily, which Alexia didn’t miss. 

However, Mapi’s words had sparked something in Alexia, adding fuel to the fire of a thought she'd had for a while already. You could tell there was something on her mind throughout dinner, when you weren't distracted by the scenery around, but you decided to leave it until you got back to the villa later. 

The thing is, from the moment Alexia realised that she might actually have a chance to love you, she was worried that she wouldn’t be the right partner for you. So she made an oath to be the best version of herself, the most selfless and dedicated and caring partner she could be. It had worked out so far, though she was only human after all. The doubts still crept in, sometimes keeping her up at night, anxious that she didn’t know enough or that she wasn’t trying hard enough. She worried, overall, that she wasn’t enough. If only she knew.

“Alright, what’s up with you? What’s on your mind?” You hopped up on the bathroom counter later that night as Alexia stood in front of the mirror to take off her makeup. 

“Nothing, why?” She brushed it off, saying the one word that meant the exact opposite to what it tried to convey.

“You have been oddly quiet since dinner, Ale, I wanna know you’re okay.” You told her, watching the tiny frown that tugged at her lips at how she’d been caught out. 

She washed her face quickly, drying it afterwards on the towel before sighing and turning to lean back against the countertop as she figured out what she wanted to say. Opening up about months worth of anxiety wasn’t what she planned for vacation, she had spent so long shoving them down and hiding them, she never really… planned for them to become a shared thing. Just a burden she didn’t want to drop upon anyone else. 

“You don’t need to hear it, it’s nothing, really.” She shrugged. You saw right through her, like always.

“No, what I need is for you to be okay, and not encumbered by thoughts that would be much easier on you when you can tell me. A sorrow shared is a sorrow halved.” You told her, smiling softly when she turned her head to look at you. She nodded then, and you didn’t miss the gulp when she averted her eyes away again.

“I make you happy, right? I… am I a good girlfriend?” Her voice, even in the quiet of the bathroom, could hardly be heard. But you heard it all, from the vulnerability and fear in her tone to the gravity of her words.

“Come here. Stand in front of me.” Even though she was confused, she did as you said and stood between your legs, unable to stop herself from leaning into your touch when your hands settled on her cheeks. “I can’t fathom that you have these thoughts, Alexia, because loving you and being loved by you is the best thing to ever happen to me. Nobody makes me feel the way that you make me feel. Nobody makes me feel more seen, and… normal. Like I’m more than the label I got stuck with. You don’t make me feel like I’m childish for needing more help with things than most people my age, you don’t make me feel stupid for not being able to cope with certain environments, and you definitely don’t make my meltdowns seem so scary when… I know you’re there to help me pick the pieces back up. You make me the happiest I have ever been, and, to me, you are the best person in the world.”

Alexia didn’t quite know what to do with herself, under your gaze as you spoke the most meaningful words she thought anyone had ever said to her. Her eyes burned with the threat of tears, and to hide that, she turned her head to quickly peck your palm before moving forward and wrapping her arms tightly around you. She carefully slid you closer to her on the counter, so you crossed your ankles behind her back and returned her heartfelt embrace, knowing it was the one thing she could do in that moment to try and express her gratitude.

One conversation wasn’t enough to entirely dispel her doubts, you both knew that, but Alexia was caught off-guard at the effect your words had on her. Then again, she was always happy to be surprised by you and each unravelling of your character, because like Mapi had said earlier that evening, she just fell more and more in love with you.

“What would I do without you?” She breathed out into your neck, smiling when she felt goosebumps rise on your skin. 

“Well, maybe you wouldn’t be a four-time UCL winner, so that’s one thing.” You couldn’t help yourself, and it was worth it when the blonde lifted her head up and laughed. “But, really, please don’t hide these things from me. I can handle it, all I want to do is help, and I don’t like the thought of you going through stuff like this alone.”

“I know you can handle it, engel, I don’t doubt that you can. Sometimes, being open like that doesn’t come so easy to me. I’m not really… used to it.” She looked down as she spoke, her hands on your thighs messing with the hem on each leg of the shorts you wore.

“I know. And I don’t take it for granted when you are, it means a lot to me. I just want to help you and care for you in the same way you do for me.” The midfielder glanced back up at you and smiled, her thumbs tracing light circles on your sun-kissed skin.

“You do. You really do. I love you.” Alexia stated with a glint in her eyes that told you exactly how she was feeling… as did the fingertips that slowly started making their way higher up your thighs.

“Te amo, Ale.” You hummed against her lips as you linked your arms behind her neck and quickly pecked the corner of her mouth. When you went to move back, there was a hand under your chin that gently pinched your cheeks together and pulled you in for a mind-numbing kiss like the one earlier. You weren’t quite so willing this time. “You taste like garlic.”

“Qué?” Alexia breathed out, eyebrows furrowed as she looked at you in confusion. You just shook your head which Alexia responded to by trying to kiss you again, only for you to cover her mouth with your hand. The blonde tugged it away by your wrist and you had to stifle your laughter at the outraged look on her face. “I can’t kiss you now?”

“Absolutely not. I hate garlic and that’s all I can taste. Disgusting. Brush your teeth please.”

“I have to brush my teeth to kiss my girlfriend!?” She exclaimed, huffing and cursing under her breath as you finally laughed at her.

“If you want to have sex tonight, then yes.” You grinned cheekily at her whilst she glared at you, eyes wide with nostrils flared and all. At that, you hopped off of the counter and scurried away back into the bedroom, leaving a somewhat frustrated but mostly amused Alexia in the ensuite.

—

With this vacation, there were perhaps two things you didn’t think about. The second thing settled a little heavy in your chest as the vacation neared its end, but the other was a welcome distraction. That being that Mapi didn’t really think before she acted sometimes, a trait that was funny… most of the time.

“Wake up, wake up! You will make us late for this hike, and I will not b-” As soon as she was one foot in the room, she cut herself off with a sharp gasp, slapping a hand over her mouth before laughing giddily.

“Fuera! Fuera ahora mismo!” Alexia shouted, clutching the covers tightly against you both so that Mapi didn’t have to see anything else she really didn’t need to see.

“Vale, vale! Lo siento, por favor! Mis ojos, dios.” The defender quickly backed out of the room, shutting the door with a heavy slam. “Get out of bed and get ready!” 

You and Alexia stayed silent as the footsteps ran away from outside your room, until you knew the coast was clear. When you knew it was, Alexia slowly pulled the sheets away a little and looked down at you, grins on both your faces that quickly turned into full-blown belly-laughing. Your cheeks were red, completely and utterly embarrassed by what had just happened, whilst Alexia ducked her head into your neck where her lips had been before the interruption. It wasn’t your proudest moment, being caught by Mapi then of all times, but that was long forgotten when Alexia’s mouth resumed her ministrations, only she began moving lower this time.

Another example of Mapi’s spontaneity was when she was so bored out of her mind, seemingly having had enough of R&R, that it meant that nobody else could have an ounce of peace until she was entertained. Really, the three of you should have realised this before the inevitable happened. The previous day had been a long one, the hike was much more difficult than any of you expected, probably as a result of the burning hot Portuguese sun. It had been decided that the day after it was solely designated for recovering, since each of you had aching legs and a healthy side of sun stroke too. Mapi wasn’t best pleased at that decision.

One moment, you were heading inside to get bottles of water for everyone, the next, you were in the water. You had stepped out of the open doors that led into the backyard and thrown two bottles over to Ingrid who was on one side of the pool, a magazine in front of her that she was flicking through, and another two to your girlfriend. She was on the other side, laying on a sun lounger, the one beside her empty where you once sat. The grin on Mapi’s face should have been enough warning for what was about to happen.

Alexia watched the scene before her with a quiet laugh, knowing you would try to fight for her to be on your side, whilst Ingrid barely blinked an eye at it all. Meanwhile, you resurfaced from having been pushed into the pool, gasping for oxygen that promptly left your lungs before being plunged into the warm water unexpectedly. 

“Mapi!” You shouted, pushing your hair out of your face and glaring at the shorter woman who was keeled over, laughing so hard she was completely silent apart from the sharp breaths in every so often. “I’m gonna kill you! Why?!” 

She ignored you still, so whilst she was thoroughly pleased with herself and distracted by her own hilarious joke, you got out of the pool and gave her the exact same treatment. You heard Alexia laugh behind you too, making you grin whilst Mapi flailed around in the water in the same way you had. Ingrid, unhappy with the commotion now and the splashes that had been sent her way twice already, closed her magazine and glared over at the two of you.

“Children. Honestly.” She grumbled, moving further down the sofa in the hopes of escaping the chaos and trying to stay dry. She had only washed her hair the day before, she refused to get it wet. If only.

“Wait, fuck, look at that over there, is that smoke?” You gasped, pointing off in the distance, immediately averting Mapi’s attention away like the toddler she was. With her focus elsewhere, you turned to wink at Alexia quickly before diving into the pool beside Mapi, a cannonball that sent water everywhere. 

Your girlfriend’s approval in the form of some of the loudest laughter you’d heard from her was well worth it, even when Mapi forced you back under by pressing on your shoulders. This back and forth of utterly childish fighting went on for only a minute, in which probably about a quarter of the water was thrown out because of it, and one person eventually had had enough. 

The sound of feet slapping against stone could be heard as Ingrid stormed off inside with a huff, Mapi noticing and immediately turning to look in that direction.

“Ingrid, princesa, where are you going?” She asked whilst you and Alexia shared an amused glance.

“To shower, because you two are so annoying.” All it took was two words for Mapi to shoot off after her girlfriend, leaving the two of you outside on your own as they slammed the doors shut behind them.

“Alexia.” You hummed, moving to the edge of the pool and crossing your arms on it. “Get in with me.”

Alexia thought she might have never been happier than she was in that moment, after diving in in the same way you had a minute prior and getting to hear the giggle you let out as she did so. Seeing you so carefree as your true self, not afraid of what anyone thinks, is something she cherished and hoped to witness for the rest of her life. 

The third and final instalment of Mapi’s behaviour was her delight in bickering with your captain. In any setting, any scene, she will find a way to push her buttons, and it never got old for you. 

On one of the last days of the vacation, when it was a particularly warm evening, it was decided that the outdoor kitchen would finally get used. Yourself and Alexia had gone shopping together to get everything for the night, and Alexia had been chosen as the cook. Something Mapi was not best pleased with. 

Throughout the whole duration of the night, you and Ingrid sat on the sofa outside and watched them fight over who did what. It quickly turned into a competition, of what kind you weren’t exactly sure, but it was enough cause for concern for you and Ingrid to come up with a plan that the Spaniards would probably get angry at. 

When the smell of burning slowly overtook your senses, you knew it was the right idea. 

“Why is there someone at the front door?” Mapi scrunched her nose up in confusion after hearing the doorbell go, meanwhile you jumped off out of your seat and ran inside to get it.

“You two are probably getting told off by the neighbours for being so loud all the time.” Ingrid told her, kicking off yet another argument between them, each one saying they weren't loud and that it was the other's fault. It was like a broken record was playing over and over, every time they spoke.

They went silent the second you stepped outside with two boxes of pizza in your arms.

“Here you go, Ingrid.” You beamed, heading over to the taller woman and handing her one of the boxes. Alexia and Mapi stared at the two of you like you'd just committed a truly awful crime. 

“La audacia.” Mapi gasped quietly, Alexia putting her bottle of beer on the countertop with a rather loud clunk. 

“No lo creo. Increíble!” Alexia exclaimed, shaking her head whilst you and Ingrid pretended to ignore them. 

“Why have you done this to us?!” Mapi shouted, her eyebrows so high on her forehead you wondered how they hadn’t shot off yet.

“María, open that grill. Now.” Ingrid said. Her girlfriend looked at her sceptically before doing precisely that. A not so healthy amount of smoke flowed out immediately. “You spent so long arguing that you burnt everyone’s food. I don’t know about you two, but we are not going hungry tonight.”

“And no, I am not sharing my pizza with anyone. Every man for themselves.” You smirked, purposefully meeting Alexia’s eye as you took a bite and groaned at the taste.

“I am never going on vacation with you again, Mapi.” Alexia grumbled, dramatically slamming down the dish towel that had been on her shoulder onto the counter, beside her beer, and walking away from her shorter friend. She came over to you and went to snatch a slice, only to have her hand slapped away and the lid of the box slammed closed before she could even try again. “Engel, this is not fair!”

“Hm, well, you guys should have thought about that before having an ego-off.” 

Mapi and Ingrid were left to their own devices as you deflated a little, watching Alexia roll her eyes and walk away back into the house. You couldn’t help but feel a little guilty, worrying you had perhaps taken it a step too far this time. Apparently Ingrid wasn’t so happy with your lack of determination to make a point.

“Hey, don’t go in after her, they have to learn!” She argued, but you shook your head and stood up.

“I have to do damage control, I’m sorry! My relationship is still fairly new, you two are like an old married couple! Ale doesn’t mind me being autistic but maybe she draws the line when it comes to food, who knows?” You rambled, only making Ingrid and Mapi laugh as they watched you run after Alexia.

The blonde was in the kitchen, grumbling under her breath and staring into the fridge like her anger was enough to kickstart a miracle in the form of a plate of food magically appearing in front of her. There was a small seed of anxiety beginning to grow, genuinely concerned you had annoyed her, but fortunately for you the solution for that was already planned.

“You are evil. You had no faith in me. Evil.” Alexia complained, closing the fridge and turning to you with an especially grumpy face. 

“Well, no, you don’t have any faith in me.” She scoffed at your smug face, though her attitude changed instantly when you reached into the microwave and pulled at a takeout container. You looked at her with a grin and passed it over to her, watching her reaction closely as she took the lid off and breathed out sharply.

“You got my favourite pasta? Even though Mapi and I were acting like stupid teenage boys?” She wondered, a shy smile on her face, seemingly having realised how ridiculous she had acted.

“I did, because my superstar footballer girlfriend can’t go unfed even if she did burn the food I bought.” You grinned. There was a pause, only briefly, until Alexia placed her food down and stepped over to you. Her arms were around you in an instant, sweeping you off the ground and hugging you way too tightly for what was just a serving of pasta. 

“So I found someone that finally puts up with my stupidity?” She murmured into your shoulder, nuzzling her nose in the juncture between your neck and collarbone. 

“You put up with a lot more than I do, so I should probably put a limit to my teasing at some point.” All she could do was chuckle into the thin material of your shirt and smile, because she was so overwhelmed with complete contentment that her mind was too high on that joy to do anything more complex than that. 

Yet, it was that point for you when you realised the second thing you didn’t think about before booking this vacation. The days passed by way too fast for your liking, and a thought you had never had in your life slowly became more and more prevalent.

 You didn’t want to go home. It wasn’t feasible in the slightest, but you wanted to stay here forever. 

That might not be strange to most people – it was to you. Every vacation you’d ever had, there was always a point where you started feeling a little homesick and burnt out. That couldn’t be further from the truth in this case. 

When you got back to Barcelona, you had two days before Alexia was off to international camp before the summer’s tournament, which meant you’d be stuck at home alone with nothing to do but get up and go to pre-season training everyday. Otherwise known as your least favourite time of the year. It was always a challenge to get through, and even though you had Mapi and a few others in training, it would still be lonely. And undoubtedly difficult. 

Normally, knowing that you always had football to go back to no matter what brought a great amount of comfort to you. However, on your last day in Madeira as you packed your stuff back into your suitcase, all you felt was a healthy mix of dread and anxiety. The sight Alexia walked in on after doing an emergency shop ruin exemplified that perfectly.

“Min engel, what is happening here?”

Packing for a vacation was something you perhaps weren’t so skilled in, especially when you were feeling how you were. The way you did it, it was an art form. It was a completely and utterly confusing thing for everyone on the outside of your mind, and Alexia received the full brunt of that when she walked in on a scene that could only be described as the aftermath of some kind of natural disaster, or a run-in with the Tasmanian Devil. 

You were sat on the floor of the bedroom, with what looked like every single item of clothing you had brought strewn around the room. Not to mention your suitcase, a new one borrowed from Alexia, was in front of you but completely empty. Why, Alexia wasn’t sure. 

“I am packing.” You mumbled dejectedly, which was enough for Alexia to feel alarmed.

“This does not look like it is going successfully.” Alexia commented lightly, regretting the words as soon as they left her tongue.

“You think?” You muttered, dropping your phone to the floor and bringing your knees up to your chest, crossing your arms atop them and resting your chin there.

“It’s okay, I can help.” She moved beside you then, glancing around at the chaos and quickly coming up with a plan to get this done as quickly and pain-free as possible. “We can do this, amor. One bit at a time. Do you have your list on your phone?” 

“Mhm.” You replied, though didn’t show any intention to pick it back up again.

“I’ll find everything if you just read things out to me, then we’ll figure out getting it all to fit. One step at a time.”

With her years of experience when it came to packing, a not so fun perk of her job, Alexia helped to get the job done in much less time than it would have taken had you done it on your own. You didn’t really do much, too clouded by the swirling cycle of thoughts running rampant through your mind, but Alexia didn’t mind. She never did.

“Bueno! It is closed, finally.” She let out a breath as she set your suitcase upright after taking a while to get it closed. You were sat cross-legged on the bed, eyes averted downwards to where your hands fidgeted with a thread on the cuff of your girlfriend’s joggers that you had stolen from her. 

“Good.” You glanced up at her briefly and smiled for a second, before going back to what you were doing a moment ago. Now that the main task was out of the way, Alexia could finally focus all her attention on you. 

A quiet sigh escaped her as she sat next in front of you on top of the white sheets, her hand reaching for yours and pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles.

“Are you sad to be leaving?” She asked tentatively, and it surprised you a little that she seemed to already know what was disturbing you.

“Yeah, basically.” You mumbled, closing your eyes momentarily when her other hand gently tipped your chin up to meet her gaze. When you opened them again, you saw her sad smile, one that always managed to entice the words out of you, no matter how much you didn’t want to.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” The midfielder whispered. It was like clock-work; your thoughts came pouring out then.

“We’re going back to Barcelona, and we’ll have two days together before you go away for god knows how long. And it’s for football, so I’m excited for you, but I’m… I’m sad. I don’t want to be without you for the summer. It’s kind of stupid how much I’ve come to rely on you but I hate pre-season and when I get home I’ll be burnt out from this vacation even though it was perfect – like honestly perfect – and I’ll be alone and stressed and out of routine, and I just- I’m scared. I don’t want to do it.”

You were rambling, and there was a shakiness to your voice that wholly encapsulated just how anxious you were about it all. When you were finished, you let out a sharp breath and shook your head slightly, biting your lower lip to hide how it trembled. Alexia’s thumb carefully tugged it down to stop you from doing that, before stroking along the skin of your jawline. 

“You won’t be alone. I won’t be there in person, but I promise that you can text or call me whenever you need it. No matter when or what it’s about, just call me. And it’s not stupid that you ‘rely’ on me, that’s just what relationships are. I adore you too much to think you rely on me too much or that you’re clingy or whatever, I’ll happily take all that I can get of you because I ‘rely’ on you just as much.” She admitted, a comforting smile on her face now. “We’ll get through this summer, we’ll learn how to cope with the change, together, and then I’ll be back before you know it. Before I go, I will do anything you need me to do to help you adjust back into your routine at home, okay? Not only that, but the team will help you with pre-season too. As will Mapi and Pina and everyone else that will be there with you. You won’t be alone, engel, that I can promise too.”

You knew a lot of your anxieties were irrational, that was one of your most prominent traits. You’d dealt with them all your life, yet they still got under your skin every once in a while. This was one of those occasions, and thankfully it was the type where getting them off your chest lessened the burden of them. Alexia’s words were the bandaid you needed, a temporary fix for now, and some of the tension in your body left with the sigh you let out. 

Everybody needed a reminder, every once in a while, that the challenges that faced them weren’t quite as daunting as they seemed at first glance. That’s exactly what Alexia had done for you, and you had a certain feeling she always would. The love she provided you with was second to none, it was the greatest treasure you had come across. Being loved by her truly was an honour, just like you had told her when she was the one with doubts. She made you feel like her equal, like you meant something, which most people did the opposite of for your whole life. That wasn’t something you would forget anytime soon. 

There was one thing, however, that your doubts couldn’t dispel:  your humour, and for that, Alexia was glad.

“If you’re leaving me for so long, you better win the damn thing.” 

—

feel bad that this doesn't exactly have a strict plot point like all my other stories do, since this is just 12k of fluff and that's not my usual style (?) but i wanted to write it anyway so why not post it if it's being written regardless. it's definitely way too long than it needed to be and im not expecting it to be so well loved but i had fun writing it and it brought me a lot of comfort during two very awful weeks. a very self-indulgent one but i hope there's some people that enjoy it :)

[ennabear]

i beg of you to write more mean abby.. i reread all of ur mean abby works religiously i swear i just love her too much ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

ʕ≧ᴥ≦ʔ NONNIEEEEE STOP THIS JS TOO SWEET!!!! IM BLUSHING IM BLUSHING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!! sorry this is a lil bit messy, i haven’t really had time to lock in on anything official I HOPE THATS OKAY!!!! here are some thoughts… 18+

i think mean!abby is one of those people who are discreetly rich. she’s not the type of person to go on big fancy vacations, or buy expensive sports cars, or to always have the newest technology. before she met you, she probably spent most of her money on books or expensive brands of tea imported from countries she’s never even heard of. after she met you, though? she’d swipe her card a million times a day to see you smile.

the best way i can describe her personality is like some old cranky grandpa, the scary guy on the block who never smiles but is very confrontational. if you’ve seen her around, you’d know that she’s always wearing a scowl, only leaves her penthouse apartment early to go to the gym, and has beef with most of her neighbors. but if you know know her? she’s a sweetie pie. she loves spontaneous sweet treats, slow dancing to 70’s music, old horror films (mean!abby letterboxd goes CRAZY i just know), and most shockingly, her cats.

and she LOVES those fuckers. it’s so perfect how she can have a companion who’s quiet and small and independent, and two of them? barely any responsibility. they have an automatic feeder, entertain each other, and only bug her about once a day for attention.

as for her job, i could see her having two possibilities. one being an extreme workaholic. maybe an office job or a surgeon or something?? (NOT a nurse because they’re supposed to be good at talking to people…) OR she only really works part time, some freelance job that doesn’t really have any rules. a photographer or a tattoo artist or some sort of small business that she can mostly manage on her own. money has never been an issue for her, coming from a family of doctors. her ass was spoiled rotten as a kid, and after her dad died she inherited all of that money.

she’s the biggest protector in the world. someone was talking shit about you? she’s breaking their nose right now actually. i think the biggest reason she’s “mean” is because she actually just has anxiety. the last time she felt a love this strong, it was for her dad. she can’t afford to lose you like she lost him, so she always has to make sure you’re safe and sound. it’s not like she’s trying to be controlling by texting you every half hour, she just worries that maybe she won’t be able to protect you for once, and it’ll be at the worst possible time.

ok lock in here are some nsfw thoughts :3

you know that trope that’s like “big mean stoic character is actually the subbiest bottomest little puppy in the whole world.” yeah…. if you don’t agree what are you still doing here.

it definitely took her a while to be this vulnerable, but jesus christ is it worth it!!! the way you get to watch her squirm and whimper underneath you, knowing that you’re the only one who can make her feel this way. to give your big protective guard dog girlfriend a night off, to take care of her in return for all that she does for you.

and she lovessss being tied up!!!! something about the intimacy of knowing you’re gonna give her a good time makes her submit to you almost instantly. she has to trust you on this, has sit back and relax and let her brain melt because she physically can’t do anything about it.

when she does dom i imagine she’s a pretty big brat tamer. c’mon, not everyone has the luxury of having a girlfriend like her. if you don’t act grateful she’ll whip you in to shape. literally. she’s not afraid of a good spanking.

also she’s strapped up 24/7 but this is canon in every universe… no matter what she’s doing or where she’s going or who she’s gonna meet, the strap stays ON!!! just in case she may need it….

but she’s the aftercare QUEEN. of course. apart from the basics like food, water, cuddles, etc. she has tonssss of knowledge on proper aftercare. you’d never have to worry about being hurt or getting a uti or feeling unloved because she’s read every forum to exist about aftercare!!! i just know this bitch runs a tumblr kink blog like it’s the military… 🤦

that’s all…. going to eep now……

[pseudowho]

Okay, hiiii, hello there, your Papamin writings are awesome and literally healed my depression?? They're so wholesome and cozy it gives me funny fuzzy feeling in my chest, thank you so much.

I'm so pleased you love them! I've been having a lot of fun doing them, usually just as they pop into my head. I'll keep writing them, as and when they occur to me.

In case anyone wants to read any of the Haitch's Nanami x Reader & Yuuji Papamin series, I've linked them below.

I'll keep this post as the Master link for the Papamin/Yuuji series, and update it regularly.

Haitch's Nanami x Reader & Yuuji Papamin Masterlist

Updated: 3rd October 2024

Requests considered.

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Fathers Day -- Yuuji tries to buy Kento lunch, and Kento misses the point. Papamin x Reader.

Disappointed -- Yuuji puts himself in danger, and Kento chastises him for his poor decisions. Papamin x Reader.

Con-Artist -- Kento has plans for the summer vacation- not that he'll tell Yuuji about them. Papamin x Reader, conning a teenager together.

Conbini -- Itadori Yuuji didn't like Kento, at first.

Next of Kin (feat. Bonus Papa Higuruma) -- Yuuji is arrested on a mission, and Kento calls a friend to help bail him out. Papamin x Reader, feat. Higuruma Hiromi.

Shaving Lessons -- Kento teaches Yuuji to shave. Papamin x Reader.

Not-Father -- Kento tries to hide his care of Yuuji from his new girlfriend. His girlfriend shows Kento exactly what she thinks of that. Papamin x Reader.

Playtime Heroes -- Kento tries to rescue you from your daughter after a long week...so Yuuji rescues him.

Simp -- Yuuji calls Kento a simp, so Kento shows him what it means to truly love someone.

Millennials -- you and Kento are thrown by Yuuji's Gen Z vernacular, so clap back hard.

First Impressions -- Yuuji needs to make sure he's getting off on the right foot, the first time he meets a new member of the Nanami family.

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[vroomvro0mferrari]

LN4 | Vexing Vacation – Part 2

Summary: When you agreed to join your brother on his vacation, sharing a room with his best friend wasn’t part of the plan. Now, that you’re constantly stuck with Lando and his relentless teasing, you’re not sure whether you want to strangle him or kiss him.

Lando Norris x Fewtrell!Reader, one-bed trope, a lot of banter and a hint of forced proximity :)

WC: 3.6K

Warnings: mentions of sex/sexual insinuations, and curse words

Part 1 | Masterlist | Part 3

She didn’t know how, but Y/N had eventually managed to fall asleep in that freezing cold room. It actually didn’t even feel that cold anymore when she woke up in the morning. Nevertheless, she tugged the blanket up higher and buried her head further into the pillow. That’s when she noticed it –  the heavy weight that was tightly gripping her waist, and the source of warmth against her. How had this happened? She was not even five centimetres away from the edge of the bed.

That little fucker.

Poor Lando wasn’t even properly awake when he was basically flung across the bed. He blinked groggily, rubbing his sleepy eyes. He looked up at her in confusion. “What the hell?” he grumbled, still trying to shake off the sleepiness.

Y/N, fuming, sat up and glared at him. “You were practically spooning me, Lando! What the hell’s wrong with you?”

Lando, rubbing his eyes, mumbled defensively, “I didn’t mean to! I must have just… rolled over in my sleep.”

She narrowed his eyes at him, pointing a finger in his face. “I warned you about this, Lando! I told you if you would cross over to my side I’d get Max to take care of you!”

Lando, now more awake, sat up and looked at her, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips. “I believe there was a promise of choking involved, too?”

Y/N’s jaw was slack in shock at his boldness. “Don’t be smart!”

“Come on, you were pretty cosy with me, too—”

“Cosy with you? I was on the edge of the bed! I literally would’ve fallen off if I moved any closer to the edge,” Y/N protested.

“You didn’t seem to mind the extra warmth,” Lando shrugged.

She glared at him. “Oh, please. It’s not like I had much of a choice with you clinging to me.”

Lando shook his head at her fiery temper; it was far too early for this. “Well, it’s not like you tried to push me away. I think you’re just too scared to admit you liked it,” he said, his smirk widening.

“Are you kidding me? I was practically falling off the bed. That was not enjoyment, that was survival. If you think that’s what enjoyment looks like, you’re obviously not very good in bed,” Y/N huffed, getting out of bed to collect her stuff.

“Wow, okay. I’ll have you know I’m very skilled, I get compliments all the time.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Overcompensating much?”

Lando smiled suggestively, “If you want, you could find out for yourself.”

“Ugh, gross. Absolutely not. One night of accidental cuddling is more than enough.”

“If you change your mind, I’ll be more than happy to provide a demonstration,” Lando smirked.

“Dream on,” she concluded, stalking into the bathroom.

– – – – –

Half an hour later Lando and Y/N had joined Max and Pietra downstairs for breakfast, the intense discussion long forgotten. The soft sound of clattering plates and cutlery filled the hotel restaurant when they sat down. The group slowly ate their breakfast while they talked about possible activities for the day. After a vote, the plan was set: a morning hike, followed by an afternoon of exploring the town – especially the cute stores they spotted on their way.

And so, soon after they finished up their breakfast, they set out for their hike before it got too hot. The scenery was stunning; different types of trees and plants lined the pathway they followed, the sun shining through the leaves above them and every now and then, through the heavy bush, they could see the beautiful view of a lake nearby with tall mountains in the back. Unfortunately, the gorgeous sight was marred by Lando’s presence. Of course, he had to walk right behind Y/N, and couldn’t keep his mouth shut to save his life.

“Careful there, don’t trip,” Lando told her as she manoeuvred over a large rock with little grip.

Y/N shot him a glare over her shoulder, mistaking the sincere concern in his voice for teasing. “I’ll take you down with me.”

Lando was surprised at the sharp response – he didn’t mean to insult or mock her. Y/N had always been witty; she always had a comeback ready for whatever Lando said, but she had never been good at noticing when Lando was genuine instead of taunting. She usually took all his comments as banter, even his attempts at flirting. Her consistent rejections made him play along; turning it into a joke instead of a true effort at pursuing his best friend’s sister. Maybe it was for the best; the dynamic worked, and Max would never allow anything more than friendship between them anyway. 

When the group reached the edge of the lake, they decided to take a break. They climbed down the rocks carefully and perched themselves on large stones scattered at the waterfront. Max searched through his backpack for the snacks Pietra had made them bring and offered everyone some. They drank water, ate something, and took a few pictures of the gorgeous view before continuing their hike.

Lando was the first to climb up the steep rocks back to the trail. He looked down while he waited for the rest, watching as Y/N struggled to find solid footing for the rather difficult climb. 

“Let me help you,” Lando offered, holding out his hand for her to take.

She glanced up at him. “I’m fine,” she said dismissively, right as her foot slipped. Before she knew it, she was reaching out for his hand, grasping it tightly while he steadied her. His grip was strong and he knelt closer to offer his other hand in case she should need it, gently pointing out where she should step next. His unwanted help annoyed her; she could do it herself, she just needed to regain her balance first. Regardless, she followed Lando’s advice, his casual yet firm guidance impossible to refuse. 

Once back on solid ground, Y/N felt a flush creep up her neck, embarrassed by her misstep and flustered by how unusually kind Lando had been. She avoided his gaze, brushing off her clothes as if that would somehow dismiss the moment. "Thanks," she muttered quickly, hoping to move on.

"No problem," Lando replied, his voice softer than usual. He felt a pang of guilt in his heart for making her uncomfortable; his only intention had been to help. As he watched her avoid his gaze, he couldn’t help but think she looked cute – adorable, even, all flustered and embarrassed. The way her cheeks flushed slightly warmed his heart. Normally, she would only show him her strong and independent side, always refusing to accept his help or express her true emotions when he was near. She didn’t want him to see her in a vulnerable state, but sometimes it couldn’t be avoided. And whenever Lando managed to catch a glimpse of that softer side, like now, all he felt was the overwhelming urge to protect her.

Lando shook his thoughts away, and continued his way, not straying from the trail this time. He walked next to Max, while Pietra followed Y/N closely, letting a distance grow between them and the boys further ahead.

“What was that?” Pietra asked her.

“What?”

“You know, Lando helping you, and then you blushing like crazy,” she clarified.

Y/N laughed nervously, “What? It was nothing!”

“Mhm, sure. You guys already seemed weird at breakfast. Did something happen last night?”

Y/N sighed, checking how far ahead the boys were. She deemed them far enough to be unable to eavesdrop. “Lando cuddled me tonight,” she admitted hesitantly.

“What?” Pietra nearly screeched.

“Yes. I don’t know how it happened. I was as close to the edge as possible, like five more centimetres and I would’ve fallen off,” she told Pietra, looking at her over her shoulder, “I even threatened that I would choke him in his sleep if he crossed to my half of the bed, but it made no difference…”

“So Lando cuddled you in his sleep, and now he helped you up the rocks? I have a feeling he’s got a crush on you, babes,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Y/N laughed, “Oh, please, P. That’s not true, he’s been bothering me for five years now.”

She merely shrugged, a knowing smile on her face. Y/N rolled her eyes – she knew better than that.

They finished the hike half an hour later, not counting the brief stop at the viewpoint. Once back at the hotel, they quickly freshened up and wasted no time heading out again, eager to explore the nearby boutiques and picturesque streets lined with quaint houses. After grabbing coffee and a pastry at a small cafe, they began exploring the local shops.

The group split up as they wandered off to different stores. Y/N found herself drifting toward a small bookstore tucked away on a quiet street. She’d forgotten to pack a book for the trip – not that it would have fit in her overstuffed suitcase anyway. She picked up several books from the English section, reading the backs one by one, trying to decide which one she should read this vacation.

“Now that seems like a good literary piece,” Lando said from behind her, startling her.

“Jesus, Lando. Why would you do that?” She said, grabbing her chest with her free hand, nearly dropping the heavy books in the other.

Lando grinned. “You’re too easy to scare,” he teased, casually leaning against one of the shelves. “What are you looking at anyway?”

Y/N handed him one of the books. “Hm, a romance novel?” He said curiously and she flushed at the implication. 

“Not just a romance novel, it—”

“Anything where the main characters kiss is automatically romance, isn’t it?”

She sighed; Lando grinned.

“Why are you here? For as far as I know, you don’t read,” Y/N told him, taking the book from his hands, weighing her options.

“Thought I’d check on you. Make sure you didn’t get lost,”

Rolling her eyes, she put all books but one back in their places. “More like make sure you had another chance to annoy me,” she huffed, grabbing another book off the shelf.

Lando watched in amusement as she flipped through a few of the pages before putting it back.

“Okay, I’m buying this one. Do you want to look at a book for yourself, or can we leave?”

“I’m good,” he responded with that annoying smug smile of his tugging at his lips.

“Alright, then.” She nodded before heading to the register and paying for the book. Lando followed her out of the store and led them to a different one where Pietra and Max were waiting. They visited more stores until they felt it was time for dinner. As they were already in the town centre, they just walked around a bit until they found a restaurant that seemed to please everyone.

Y/N sat down at the table they were directed to, hanging her bag with the book on the chair. When she looked up again she saw that Lando had already claimed the seat next to her. She shot a questioning look at Pietra, who was sitting across from her, subtly signing with her eyes, ‘What is up with him?’ Pietra’s lips quirked into a knowing smile, her eyes glinting with amusement. She gave a small shrug as if to say, ‘You tell me’.

Dinner went much smoother this time around, especially since Lando couldn’t constantly stare at her face from her side. They had enough to talk about after all they had seen and decided to discuss their plans for tomorrow ahead of time. It would be a beach day, so the timing of buying the book was perfect. 

Halfway through the meal, Y/N felt the light pressure of Lando’s arm casually resting on the back of her chair. It wasn’t touching her exactly, but it was close enough to make her aware of his presence. She froze for a second, her fork hovering in midair as her body tensed.

Lando didn’t say anything, just continued eating as if nothing had happened.

Y/N glanced across the table at Pietra, widening her eyes slightly, slightly nudging her head to Lando’s arm. Pietra took a sip of her drink, suppressing a smirk as she met Y/N’s gaze.

She looked at Lando in annoyance before shifting in her seat, leaning slightly to the other side to put more distance between them.

Lando, of course, noticed. He turned to face her straight away with a confused look.

“Get your arm off my chair,” Y/N said harshly.

Lando raised an eyebrow, his expression mockingly innocent. “What? I’m not even touching you.”

Y/N glared at him, her voice firm. “You’re close enough.”

Lando chuckled under his breath, clearly amused by her irritation. “Oh, come on. I’m just being friendly.”

“Friendly would be keeping your hands to yourself,” she shot back, trying to ignore how much his teasing actually made her pulse race.

Lando raised his hands in surrender, but his eyes gleamed with amusement. “No need to get all worked up.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, but she couldn't stop the warmth creeping up her neck. “You wish I’d get worked up over you. I’d just prefer if you didn’t touch me.”

Lando shrugged. “For not wanting to touch me, you seemed to hold onto my hand pretty tightly earlier,” he teased, leaning closer while Max eyed you in surprise.

Y/N’s eyes widened slightly as she recalled the moment he helped her up, a blush once again covering her face at the memory. “I was trying not to fall, I wasn’t touching you voluntarily.”

Lando chuckled softly, the sound annoyingly charming. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that.”

Y/N gaped at Pietra, who was still staring at her with a knowing smirk. She groaned in frustration before the conversation continued. Only a second later realising Lando still hadn’t removed his arm, she sent him another glare but didn’t bother asking him again.

The rest of the dinner passed relatively smoothly. Lando didn’t provoke Y/N much while they all chatted about tomorrow’s beach day and laughed about Max’s story of how he got stung by a jellyfish a few years back. By the end of the meal, Y/N had only needed to throw in a few comebacks and thought she kept her temper pretty well.

They paid the bill and left the restaurant, where the cool evening air greeted them. Y/N wrapped her arms around herself, the lingering warmth of the meal dissipating quickly in the cool night breeze. The four of them strolled back towards the hotel, the streetlights casting shadows on the pavement.

In the elevator, Max and Pietra talked about what time they’d set out for the beach tomorrow, while Y/N leant against the wall, tired from the day’s activities, trying to ignore the fact that she and Lando would be alone again once they got back to their shared room.

When they finally reached their floor, Y/N said a quick goodbye to her brother and his girlfriend before trailing after Lando. She kicked off her shoes as soon as she entered the room and went in search of her toiletries. Once she’d gathered everything she needed, she made a beeline to the bathroom. “I’m taking a shower,” she announced, before promptly closing the door behind her. 

The clattering sound of the running water was a welcome distraction from her busy mind which, for some reason, kept replaying the moment in the forest. She could feel Lando’s calloused hand holding hers tightly every time the image reappeared in her head, the same tingling feeling emerging along with it, too. She could see the gentle look on his face, and feel her embarrassment at nearly falling on her face – it was like she was there again. The repeating memory was just as annoying as the man prominently featured in it. The man who seemed to always find a way to irritate her, even when she was alone, in the shower. 

She banished the recollection to the back of her mind and finished up her shower. She quickly dried herself off and put her underwear and top on before she reached for her shorts, only to realise they weren’t there. She sighed deeply, mumbling to herself, “Of course, I forgot my shorts. Why would anything go my way for once.” 

She groaned, running her hands over her face when another realisation came, “God, why did I only bring thongs?” 

She squealed into the towel, a loud high-pitched sound, at her own stupidity. 

”It’s all Max’s fault. If he hadn’t screwed up and gotten me my own room, everything would have been fine, but no!” She grumbled leaning her elbows on the counter, burying her face in her hands. “I’m going to kill him one of these days.”

Meanwhile, Lando had settled onto the bed, leisurely lying back, hands behind his head while he watched a random movie. Unbeknownst to Y/N, he could hear her frustrated mumbling coming from the bathroom, but he chose to remain silent until he heard her voice calling out louder.

“Lando?”

“Hm?” He responded uninterestedly.

“Could you please hand me my pyjamas? I forgot them…”

“Nah, I’m comfy. You’ll have to get them yourself.”

Y/N poked her head out the door. “Are you serious, Lando? I literally only have my underwear in here.”

Lando shrugged, not looking away from the TV, causing Y/N to sigh.

“Lando,” she warned, “if you don’t hand them to me, I swear—”

“I won’t look, promise,” he said, and she could hear the amusement in his voice.

With a deep sigh, Y/N tightened the short towel around her before she carefully stepped out of the bathroom, scanning the room to make sure Lando was keeping his word. He was lying in bed, hands behind his head, eyes lazily watching the TV playing some rerun of an old movie.

She tiptoed to the chair, where she thought her pyjamas were, but they weren’t there. Her eyes narrowed. Of course, they’d gone missing.

Muttering under her breath, she began searching through the drawers, still holding the towel tightly around her body. She bent down, checking the bottom drawer when she heard a low, barely audible curse behind her.

“Fuck,” Lando muttered, breaking the silence.

Y/N froze for a second before whirling around, catching his eyes very clearly locked on her. “What the hell, Lando! You promised you wouldn’t look!”

“Well, you said you only brought thongs. That’s not exactly encouraging me to look away.” 

“You heard that? You know what, never mind. Fuck off, Lando. Where’s your decency?”

“Non-existent,” he replied with a smirk.

“Look away, Lando.”

“I don’t see the appeal,” he said, his smirk growing.

“I swear to God, I’m going to kill you someday.”

“Have you thought yet about how? ‘Cause I’ve got a suggestion.”

She glared at him from across the room. “Do I even want to hear it?”

A playful grin spread across his face at her frustration, “Having you sit on my face seems like a pretty good way to go…”

“God, Lando. Get your head out of the gutter!” She exclaimed, mortified at his blunt response.

Y/N huffed in exasperation, her cheeks burning with embarrassment as she turned her back to him, tightened the towel, and continued searching for her shorts. “You’re impossible,” she muttered under her breath, rummaging through the drawers with a little more force than necessary. Did he have no shame?

Y/N’s eyes scanned the room in growing frustration, her shorts nowhere to be found. She groaned softly, starting to doubt herself. Maybe she hadn’t packed them at all? No, that couldn’t be right, she wore them last night. They had to be around somewhere.

Lando, who had been watching her search in mild amusement, raised an eyebrow when she turned back to him with an accusing look. "You didn’t take my shorts, did you?"

He sighed, shaking his head in disappointment. “Why do you always assume the worst of me?”

“Because the worst is usually true!” she snapped back, still glaring as if that would somehow force him to confess.

Lando chuckled. “I swear, I didn’t touch them,” he paused, a mischievous smile on his face,  “but you might want to check under the closet.”

Y/N narrowed her eyes but reluctantly looked under the closet, this time turning her back away from Lando – he had seen enough of her. Sure enough, her shorts were hidden underneath the closet, all the way to the back.

“Of course,” she muttered under her breath, feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over her.

Lando shot her a smug grin. “See? Sometimes the problem isn’t me – sometimes it’s you.”

She ignored his comment and grabbed the shorts, quickly making her way back to the bathroom to change. She let out a deep breath as she slipped into her pyjamas, mentally cursing herself.

Once she was dressed and ready for bed, she walked out, trying to keep her expression neutral. Lando was now walking around the room, collecting his toiletries and making a big deal of grabbing his pyjamas before disappearing into the bathroom while she settled into her side of the bed. She busied herself with her phone as she waited for Lando to come back before she turned off the light.

She pulled the blanket up high and immediately turned on her side. “Goodnight,” she mumbled, “you better stay on your side tonight.” 

“Goodnight, Y/N,” Lando replied overly sweet, as if mocking her warning.

She felt Lando shift in the bed as he lay down, but it stayed at that. Maybe she would have a peaceful night tonight.

– – – – –

Part 3

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