#literally I was so surprised when I looked them up on tumblr for the first time

[dontmindme2600]

I had no idea Vashwood was so popular when I first watched Trigun, I find it funny that I just saw the first episode they were in together and was like “Yep. These bitches are gay” with like no context beforehand that they were shipped together so often, or that Trigun even had a fandom

[badbtssmut]

A party for three

As usual, you and your boyfriend Taehyung travel by van to the same festival the both of you have been going to since you first started dating. But when you run into his best friend at the festival, you suddenly end the night with your pussy filled to the brim.

Contains: Everyone is under the influence, drunk, threesome, dubcon cause nobody’s thinking clearly, yn gets called a slut, double penetration in pussy <- yn winces and says it’s too tight but Tae encourages her, yn cries out of pleasure, riding, missionary, doggystyle, boobplay, multi orgasm, just fucking with literally zero thoughts

Admin note: fuck me I wrote this all on the tumblr app and it didn’t fucking save and I had to do it AGAIN!! :)

—

It was a warm night in the middle of summer as you and your boyfriend, Taehyung, pulled up in the parking lot of a venue you knew all too well. The two of you had been coming to this exact music festival for a few years now, and tonight was just the same as any other.

Or so you thought.

You cheered as one of your favorite bands entered the stage and took the crowd by storm, their fans immediately beginning to crowd the stage and the surrounding area.

Taehyung, on the other hand, wasn't even watching the band. He was busy watching you, your smile lighting up your entire face as you swayed your hips to the music and sang along to the lyrics. When you felt his eyes on you, you glanced over at him, smiling at him before you stepped closer and gave him a peck on the lips.

"Are you enjoying the show?" You asked him, giggling.

He shrugged. "I am now," he said, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you against him.

You giggled at his words; not sure if it was because you were tipsy or because you were amused by his cheesiness, but nonetheless he made you giggle.

A tap on his shoulder caught him by surprise and he turned around in confusion before a grin made his way to his face.

“Hey!��� Jimin greeted cheerfully, (he was Taehyung’s best friend), waving at the two of you.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” Taehyung asked, which earned a playful push from Jimin.

“Dude, the same as you two are doing here, obviously, except I don’t have a pretty girl on my arm.”

You smiled at his compliment and reached over to give him a hug, and he hugged you back.

Jimin tagged along with the three of you, and the band was still going strong and performing, so you all decided to continue partying together. The music was loud, the drinks were flowing, and you were definitely a bit more than tipsy at this point. Your head was spinning, your body felt light, and you couldn’t stop giggling as you leaned into Taehyung for support, who was also quite drunk.

The band played a song that was more on the slower side, so everyone was moving along to the music rather than jumping up and down like they had been earlier.

"Hey," Taehyung murmured in your ear, and you turned around to face him, "want to head back to the van and relax a bit?"

You nodded in response.

“Jimin? You coming with us or staying here?" You asked, turning to his best friend.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

And with that, the three of you walked out of the venue and to the parking lot, where you all stepped into the van; it was one of those fancy ones, the really big vans that had a bedroom, a bathroom, a kitchen— it was fucking expensive but Taehyung insisted that it would be cool for road trips and it definitely was.

You flopped down on the bed and closed your eyes, your head spinning, and a few seconds later you felt the bed sink a bit, and you opened your eyes to see that it was Jimin, and he was staring at you.

"Y/N, I have been curious for a while... can I ask you something?" He said, a mischievous grin on his face.

"Sure." You responded, curious as to what he wanted to know.

"Your boobs, they look really soft, can I touch them? I've always wanted to feel them."

You laughed, his bluntness amusing you. “Okay.”

He reached his hand forward, and you watched as he gently cupped your breasts through your bra. He squeezed them a few times, and then he looked up at you. "Can I touch you under your shirt?" Jimin asked, his eyes hopeful.

You were feeling bold (probably due to all the stuff you took), and also very turned on, so you nodded. "Go ahead."

With your permission, he pushed your shirt up and over your head, and you sat up and unhooked your bra, letting it fall off of your shoulders. And then before you knew it, you and Jimin were cuddled up, your back rested against the wall as he laid on top of you, sucking on your tits and groping your boobs.

You had one hand resting on his head and the other found it’s way between your legs, rubbing your pussy through your shorts, moaning at the sensation.

Before you knew it, Jimin’s cock was in his hands, and he was pushing your shorts to the side and grinding his erection against your clit before it slipped in and was sliding in and out of you.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him close as he pounded into you, the two of you breathing heavily.

"Fuck, Y/N, you're so wet, baby," he moaned, thrusting his cock in and out of your pussy, his hips snapping against your ass, "so good, fuck."

You were panting, throwing your head back as his cock slammed into you, over and over.

The door then creaked open, and you looked over to see that it was your boyfriend, standing in the doorway. However, he didn’t seem fazed by the fact his girlfriend was getting fucked by his best friend. Instead, he stepped forward and crawled onto the bed, next to you. He grabbed hold of your face and kissed you, his tongue slipping past your lips, and you could taste the alcohol on his breath. His fingers trailed to your clit, rubbing it with his thumb as he continued to kiss you.

Taehyung pulled away, taking in the sight of his best friend’s cock drilling into you.

“Good pussy?” Taehyung asked with a chuckle.

"Very good pussy," Jimin replied, moaning as he thrusted his cock in and out of you, "gonna beat it up so good, gonna fuck it all up," he groaned, his hand reaching down to grab onto your tit.

“Mmhmm, I know how much she likes her pussy getting beat up. Do you like having your pussy beat up, baby?" Taehyung cooed.

You could only whimper, your mouth hanging open and your eyes squeezed shut.

“She loves it, dude, look at her," said Jimin, smirking.

Taehyung watched in awe as you rode his best friend's cock, your walls fluttering around his thick length. Taehyung could no longer ignore his hardening cock, so he reached down and unzipped his jeans, his erection springing free.

You felt him press his cock against your cheek, and you opened your eyes to see him holding his errection, the head rubbing against your cheek.

"You want it, baby?" He asked, and you nodded eagerly, opening your mouth. He guided his cock towards your mouth, and you opened it wider to take it, allowing him to slide it between your lips.

As you sucked on his cock, he ran his fingers over your arms before he held onto your hand and watched as you bobbed your head up and down, slurping and sucking on his shaft, your mouth full of his cock.

“Jimin…” You whined, spreading your legs as far as they could, allowing his cock to slam into you even deeper, and it was driving you crazy.

"What's wrong, miss Tae’s girlfriend? Can't take anymore?" He teased, grinning as he watched your face contort in pleasure, Taehyung’s cock slipping out of your mouth. Jimin grabbed you by the hips, holding you in place as he adjusted himself, fucking you from a deeper angle. Taehyung wrapped your fingers around his shaft, and you started to rub him off, watching as Jimin drilled into you.

"Such a pretty little slut, taking me and Tae's cock, I bet your pussy's just dying to get fucked, isn't it, slut?" Jimin asked with gritted teeth.

You cried out in response, your eyes rolling back in your head, and soon you were cumming, your pussy squeezing and contracting around his cock.

Taehyung stroked himself faster, watching as you came, and Jimin pulled out, wanting to feel your mouth around his cock, while Taehyung took his place, lifting you off the bed and putting you on his lap, facing him.

You sunk yourself onto his cock, wrapping your arms around his neck as you started to ride him, and he thrusted his hips upward, meeting yours.

“Yeah babe, ride my cock just like that, bounce on my dick," Taehyung encouraged, groaning as he watched you bounce up and down on his shaft, his hands resting on your hips.

Jimin stood next to the bed, jerking himself off as he watched you get fucked, and he stepped closer to you and held his cock out, and you immediately took him into your mouth, moaning as you moved your head back and forth, taking him all the way in.

“Love it?” Taehyung cooed, his hands moving to your ass and squeezing your cheeks.

“Love it so much," you managed to say, the two of them thrusting their cocks in and out of you.

"Love your holes filled with my cock and my best friend's, don't you, baby?" Taehyung whispered as he caressed your face.

"Yes, Tae, love it, love cocks so much, please," you begged, your voice a whimper.

"Gonna fuck you until you're sore and can't walk," he said, smirking as he slapped your ass, "want two cocks in your pussy? Think you can handle that?”

“She wants two cocks?” Jimin pulled his errection out of your mouth, stroking himself as he stared at your pussy.

Taehyung lifted you off his dick, turning you around, your back against his chest and his dick pressed against your ass.

"Jimin's cock is nice and big too, so I think it'll be a tight fit. Think you can handle that, babe?"

“Please, want them,” You giggled, rolling your hips impatiently, “put cock in me, I want it."

Taehyung grabbed hold of his cock and pushed the tip into you, and then slowly lowered you down onto him, letting out a hiss as your sweet pussy engulfed him.

You leaned back into his chest, and he wrapped his arms around your waist, his hands resting on your stomach. He began to pump his cock in and out of you, his eyes falling closed.

"Mmhmm," he hummed, "love your pussy, so good, babe."

"I love it too," said Jimin, climbing onto the bed, his cock brushing against your thigh, still rock hard. “Where do I put it in? Don’t see space, too tight."

You were about to open your mouth to tell him where to put it, but before you could, Taehyung spoke first.

"Just push it in on top of mine," Taehyung told him, "don't worry, she'll make space."

Jimin did what he was told, and you felt him start to push in, at which you winced and whimpered.

"Shhh, you'll be okay," cooed your boyfriend, his hand going to your clit and rubbing it gently, "just relax and let it happen, baby. Don't worry, we're not gonna hurt you, promise.” He whispered against your ear, before leaving a trail of kisses down your neck.

“Too tight, too full…” You whimpered, squirming in his arms, but he held you in place, his grip tightening around your waist.

"Baby, I can feel Jimin’s cock, it’s almost in all the way, you feel it too? He's rubbing his cock against mine," said your boyfriend, chuckling softly.

"Yeah, yeah," Jimin breathed, finally pushing his cock all the way in, letting out a deep groan, "fuck, so tight, fuck."

The two of them started to move, and the sensation of having both their cocks inside of you was almost too much to bear.

"Please, don't stop, don't stop," you chanted, tears streaming down your cheeks as they pumped their cocks in and out of you, stretching your pussy even further, filling you up so perfectly.

They both began to speed up, and the room was filled with the sounds of their grunts and moans, along with the sound of your pussy squelching as they fucked it.

"Shit, she's milking my cock," said Jimin, his hands grabbing onto your thighs, pushing your legs back as he drilled into you. Taehyung never lost his rhythm, pounding upwards with a steady pace, his cock hitting all the right places— while Jimin pushed in, Taehyung pulled out, when Taehyung took a break, Jimin didn’t stop, and occasionally you’d be double drilled when they’d both push their cocks in at the same time, the sensations overwhelming and mind numbing.

You cried out as your pussy began to spasm, and soon you were cumming again, the two of them fucking you through it, their dicks continuing to pound into your pussy, not slowing down for a second.

“Oh, oh!” Your eyes rolled back, mouth wide open and drool leaking from the corner of your mouth. You didn’t know how you were taking two cocks at the same time, but you were, and it felt amazing.

After the double penetrating, you ended up in the arms of your boyfriend who fucked you missionary style, the two of you making out while he thrusted into you, his tongue down your neck and his hands exploring your body, squeezing your breasts as he enjoyed your pussy. Then after, Jimin took over and fucked you doggystyle, your legs spread and back arched as his cock rammed into you from behind, your ass jiggling each time his hips met yours.

You didn’t know how long the three of you managed to keep it up, but you fell asleep somewhere between the sex, and when you woke up the sun was shining through the curtains and you were wrapped in a blanket.

Taehyung was heard in the kitchen, presumably making breakfast.. or lunch.

You sat up, wincing as your muscles ached and the events of last night replayed in your head.

That was just a fucked up wet dream, right?

Your boyfriend stepped into the room, holding a plate.

"Hey babe, here, I made you some breakfast, thought you needed it after last night."

[dwaekkicidal]

Hey cutie, you've done puppy Seungmin and WolfChan, but what about when the bunny reader is in heat? I mean, she's always grinding on Channie, giving him hickies everywhere, just feeling way more possessive than she normally does, she's just onto him 24/7. (Also, if you're comfortable, please could you describe the reader as chubby? Sorry, English is my fourth language lol 😅)

Also, I looove your work. You're one of my most favourite Tumblr writers.

🥲🥲🥲 that last comment got me kicking my feet n shit :')) thank u that means a lot to me <3

wc» ~600

cw» kinda? chubby fem!reader, bunny!hybrid reader, heats, p in v, breeding (everybody act surprised), pregnancy mentions: 'kits' are baby bunnies btw

❥ Chris absolutely LOVES when your heat is coming around. He loves how clingy you get and the way you rub your face on everything you can.

❥ It's just all so endearing to him. The way you stay glued to his arm when you're out and about with him, and then once you're home you just push him onto the couch and throw yourself on top of him, expecting his immediate attention and cuddles.

❥ And the way you rub your cheek all over his arms or his tummy when you're cuddling with him, it being your nonverbal way of requesting his love and affection.

❥ He gets sooo riled up when your heat first hits. He always notices the day it starts, but you never seem to connect the dots. As if the way you latch yourself onto his neck and suck pretty, dark marks into his neck as your nails dig into his arm don't give it away.

❥ Your foggy little brain doesn't really process why the sloppy makeout sessions get you so built up and horny, or why you suddenly need his hands on you at all times during these sessions. It's almost as if you're subconsciously trying to make him claim you

❥ He feels like get into his own "human heat" when yours starts. The way you need him and his seed so carnally at all hours of the day drives him insane. Even more so when he wakes up the next morning to shower and finds deep, red scratches all over his arms and his back- he's almost the one waking you up ready to go again.

❥ It's still endearing even as you grind down onto him on the couch during movie night. Your lack of panties under your shorts being obvious thanks to the slick that's getting all over his sweatpants and leaving a dark spot right above his dick

❥ He'll just sit there with a dopey smile on his face as his fingers dig into the fat of your hips, helping you use him to get off, and even encouraging you.

"Shh... Good job baby. Take what's yours, yeah?"

"Channie's got you, Bunny. Keep being good and I'll breed you nice a deep."

❥ AbsoLUTELY eggs on your desire to get bred during your heat. During downtime will show you pictures of little Bunny-hybrid kits (that vaguely look like one of you) and will just so happen to scroll past baby clothes when he's doing online shopping "for us"

❥ And when he has you below him, bent into a million positions and drooling all over your nest, he's going to talk non-stop about how good you'll look round and full of his babies- of "our kits"

❥ He's gonna pound you so good and so deep as he says all these things, even telling you that he's gonna breed your heat away; that he's gonna fuck you so well and get you so pregnant so often that you won't remember what a heat even is

❥ Loves grabbing onto your tummy and pushing down onto it when he has you in missionary- making you really feel how deep he is and how deep his cum will be soon

❥ Sometimes even just rubs your stomach and says something about how "This is where my babies are" and how he's gonna keep his kin safe no matter what

❥ Is already a huge "boobs guy" and literally jumps off the fucking walls when he latches onto your tits and says something like "I need to enjoy these while I can. When we have kids, I won't be able to see them nearly as often" Will pout sooo hard while saying that and looks at them as if the world is ending

[peachysunrize]

MAMMAMIA ⥃ modern!Aemond + Aegon Targaryen

Summary: Baela finds out about your crush on her cousins, who just happen to be the new rising stars in the music industry. And with the promise of meeting them, she forces you to go with her to one of their concerts. (Listen to MAMMAMIA by Maneskin)

Warnings: 18+ mdni! Smut, p in v, threesome, creampie, oral (F & M receiving), fingering, degradation, Band au, alcohol consume, Aegon gets high, cocaine use, unprotected sex. Basically porn no plot! English isn’t my first language <3 divider by @/cafekitsune

Word count: 3.08k

A/n: do I even need to say anything or you know how unhinged this new photoshoot has made me?? LETS GET FUCKED— sorry if it's bad. I'm sick and it's 2am...

“You can’t be serious!” Baela gasps, chuckling in disbelief, “you can’t be fucking serious, girl!”

“Don’t act as if I’m the crazy one! You-you are the one snooping around my phone!” Screaming, you chase Baela to give your phone back while she goes through all of the posts you have made on Tumblr, all those unhinged comments you made earlier under the posts of the new photoshoot of your favorite band.

“What the fuck— you have a crush on my cousins! You sneaky slut, eww, you want them to do what—?” She gasps, looking from your phone to your face before laughing, flustering you even more. 

You have no idea which post she is exactly looking at, but you know she’d not back down from teasing you until she has you begging with tears for her to stop.

“Give my phone back, bitch—”

“Nu-uh! You want my cousins to dick you down, girlie, you are one sick crazy woman!” She keeps laughing at you, stepping back when you leap for your phone.

“Stop scrolling! Haven’t your parents taught you about personal space— give it back!” You screech at her, trying to loop your arm around her to snatch your phone, but all your efforts are in vain when she dodges you and steps behind you.

“Those are the worst fuckboys I have ever met! And you want to meet them? Are you fucking with me?” She is finding too much enjoyment in tormenting you, chuckling and laughing when she sees how crazy you have gone over the new pictures of her cousins.

“Baela, you are not supposed to see those! If I wanted to tell you, I would! Now, be a decent fucking human and give my.phone.back!”

“Want me to tell you a lil secret, babe?” She leans towards you, wrapping her arm around your shoulder when she hands you back your phone, “They have a concert here, in the town tonight.”

“What?!” You ask, eyes wide and nervous as you look at how she wiggles her eyebrows at you.

“Lucky you! I have one more VIP ticket, guess you’ll be coming with me,” she explains so casually that for a second you’re left gaping at her, jaw on the floor with surprise.

“You can’t be serious, Bae. This is absurd—”

“Girlie, I’m literally telling you that I have a spare VIP ticket and I want you to come with me and meet them! And you call this absurd? You’re one lucky bitch for having me in your life! Now get upstairs we need to choose your outfit!”

“Bae, I can’t accept this! It must have cost a fortune!” You gasp when she pulls on your hand, not letting you recover from the shock she just gave you.

“Lucky and dumb. I talked to Jace, asked him to get me three tickets so me and Rhaena could go and if she wanted she could bring someone! But she didn’t, and now, that ticket is yours! You’re seriously so fucking dumb if you think I paid for anything.”

You open your mouth to say something, but close it abruptly when she looks back and glares at you as she pulls you behind her to your room.

“Alright, alright! Are you sure you want me—”

“Shut the fuck up and pull out every sexy outfit you have! The more cleavage, the better. Aegon would lose his fucking mind if he gets a peek of your boobs.”

You giggle and listen to her, giddy and excited about tonight.

———

You tangle your fingers with Baela, confidence oozing from your every step, and you can already feel so many sets of eyes on your trio as you walk toward the VIP section. Baela forced you to wear a very tight and short leather skirt — she said Aemond loved latex or leather skirts when it came to women — and you obliged, pairing it with a tight crop top that shaped your breasts just perfectly, and for the last touch, she suggested a fishnet that covered your thighs just perfectly.

You are indeed one lucky bitch to have Baela in your life, trying to make you look like a candy in her cousins’ eyes so that you could get your dream come true.

The twins lead you towards the front of the stage, grabbing the beers that are being served among the crowd while you wait for the band to come on stage.

You rock on your high heel boots, biting your crimson-colored lips as you wait for them to come. Anticipation eating you alive while the time ticks away and you sip on your beverage.

Finally, the lights go down and you see Jace and Daeron going towards their instruments. The crowd goes wild as they shout and scream their names, followed for cheers for Luke who joins them and waves at the audience. The two people who you’ve been waiting for the most are only missing from the stage.

As soon as Daeron starts playing his drums, everyone starts screaming and cheering when they see Aegon and Aemond joining the band on the stage, Aegon already making his way towards the center of it as he starts singing, Aemond close behind him with his fingers already doing his magic on his electric guitar. 

 [ Oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, mamma mia-ma, ma-mamma mia-ah

I feel the heat up, uh, I feel the beat of drums

Call the police, I'll do it, they've stolen all my fun 

I'm breaking free, but I'm stuck in a police car ]

From the second you spot them, your eyes are glued to them as you dance with Baela and Rhaena, screaming and having the time of your life. You can’t believe how lucky you are to be standing a few meters away from the men you fantasize about for hours per day.

You and Baela finish your drinks, shouting the lyrics with every breath that you have left in your lungs while dancing and keeping your eyes on the stage. 

You catch Aemond’s eye, feeling your blood pumping faster as he winks at you, moving from chord to chord so effortlessly, his long fingers pressing into the strings with ease and you find yourself wanting nothing more than to feel them on your body, exploring each up and down.

[ Oh, mamma mia-ma, ma-mamma mia-ah

They treat me like if I did something criminal

All eyes on me, I feel like I'm a superstar

I'm not a freak, I just thought it was carniva ]

Aegon keeps singing, his chest in full view as he unbuttons his shirt, moving around the stage gracefully while he sings each note correctly. You look away from Aemond’s fingers only to catch Aegon walking towards where you are standing, a lazy smirk on his face as he keeps singing and kneeling in front of you.

[ Oh, ma-mamma mia, spit your love on me

I'm on my knees, and I can't wait to drink your rain

I'll keep it secret if you let me get a taste

Tell me your limit, and we'll cross the line again

Oh, mamma-mamma mia, ahahah! ]

He reaches forward, cupping your cheek with his free hand while he stares into your eyes as he sings:

[ Oh, ma-mamma mia, spit your love on me

I'm on my knees, and I can't wait to drink your rain

I'll keep it secret if you let me get a taste

Tell me your limit, and we'll cross the line again

Oh, mamma-mamma mia, ahahah! ]

His thumb brushes over your bottom lip, staring into your eyes with a newfound feeling. Your lips part in surprise, ears ringing as you try to realize what the fuck is happening now, and you can feel how he resists the urge to push his thumb into your eager mouth.

Like his younger brother, he shoots you a wink, leaving you breathless and needy as he stands up and moves toward the other side of the stage. 

You can already feel yourself soaking through your panties, following them both as they start singing the chorus together, but you can’t seem to be paying attention to what words they’re saying. All you can do is look at them; Aemond is in a sheer shirt with a long coat and latex pants while Aegon is bare-chested with long white pants. 

They look too good to be real.

After a few seconds, Baela nudges you and brings you out of your thoughts, and you join them again, dancing and singing with the band through the night.

The concert ends sooner than you would’ve liked, but Baela and Rhaena grab your hands to pull you out of the crowd toward the backstage, giggling all the way to the door. The bodyguard does an identity check before letting you three join the band in their rooms.

“Hey, girls!” Jace announces, pulling Baela into a hug before grinning at you, extending his hand to introduce himself.

“It’s a pleasure—��

“Oh, for fuck sake, save your gratitude for the people who matter. This guy doesn’t care,” Baela says, pulling you behind her towards the room with Rhaena and Jace following closely. 

As soon as you step inside, your eyes find the men you wanted to see; Aemond and Aegon are sitting on the couch, each of them having their drinks of choice in hand while a few girls flock around them, rubbing their hands all over them.

“Boys, I brought a fan!” 

“Hey!” You pinch her Baela’s waist.

“Oh, look who’s here!” Aegon says, standing up from the couch without glancing at the pouting women who were all over him, instead his eyes drink your sight up, “saw you out there, doll. You were quite enjoying yourself.”

“Oh, I was! I loved it!” You exclaim excitedly, realizing how desperate you might have sounded, you try to apologize but Aegon’s laugh stops you as he reaches to cup your cheek, another lazy smirk on his pink lips.

“We’re so happy you enjoyed yourself and the show, right, Aemond?” 

The younger one turns his head, a sinister smile on his mouth already when he seizes your outfit, licking his thin lips.

“Of course, when Baela told us she’d bring a friend we didn’t expect her to bring such beauty.” He says, standing up as well before making his way towards his older brother.

You nearly melt under their honey-coated words, a large yet shy smile breaking on your face as you gaze up at them through your lashes, wanting nothing more than to do hear more, but with everyone around it isn’t possible.

“Come! Let us have a drink!” Daeron claps, jumping to give everyone a glass of the whiskey Aemond is having while Aegon leads you and Aemond towards the couch they were already sitting on after he shooed out the other girls.

They make sure you are sitting between them, keeping you closer than before with Aemond’s finger caressing your bare shoulders while Aegon grips your thigh gently.

If anyone notices anything, they don’t say it, letting the three of you have your moment before they decide to change the topic.

“What if we go to the nearest club? I’m sure we can have fun there!” Luke suggests, looking hopefully.

“I rather go to the tour bus and have fun there, you should go though,” Aemond shrugs, already planning his next move on you, knowing how Aegon would catch up on his hints immediately.

Baela and Rhaena agree to go with Luke, taking Jace and Daeron with them before Baela smirks at you and gives you a cheeky wink, leaving you and your favorite boys alone.

“So, doll, do you want to have a photograph? We keep some in the bus,” Aegon tells you, rubbing circles with his thumb on your inner thigh, chuckling when you look up at him with blown pupils.

“I would love to,” you reply, trying to keep your voice down, not really wanting to sound desperate.

But when they take you to the bus, everything takes a turn and you find your lips locked in a passionate kiss with Aemond, his tongue moving along your bottom lip as he invades your mouth.

Aegon’s hands roam the length of your body while he sucks marks on your neck and shoulders, marking you as his and brother’s while they make you ready for whatever is about to come.

Aegon sits on the couch, fumbling with his belt as he watches you and his brother sucking the air out of each other’s mouths. He sighs with relief when his hard cock is freed from the confines of his pants, stroking himself into full hardness before pushing the fabric down to his ankles.

Aemond lets go of your lips, smirking when he finds you wide-eyed with pretty bruised lips. He turns you around before pulling down the zipper of your pretty leather skirt, pushing you on your knees in front of Aegon before he kneels behind you and pulls down your skirt, exposing your lace panties to his hungry gaze.

Aegon keeps stroking his thick cock with one hand, the other one caressing your face while he fists a bit of your hair, pulling you closer until your face is near his throbbing member.

Aemond, behind you, grabs the side of your fishnets, ripping them apart just so he can push your panties aside, groaning at the sight of your sweet and soaked pussy just for them. He has to keep himself away from diving in and feasting on your nectar like a starved dog ready to please his master.

You reach forward and grab a hold of Aegon’s dick, slapping it on your tongue a few times before taking the head in your mouth, tasting the salty flavor of his pre-cum. You kitten lick the angry tip, giggling when he curses and throws his head back.

Moaning around Aegon’s cock, you push your hips back as soon as Aemond licks a stripe from your center up to your clit, taking the bundle of nerves in his mouth. Aegon takes his chance and shoves your face down, forcing you to take more of him.

The brothers take what they want from you; one bobbing your head with his fingers in your hair, the other one buries his face between your thighs and shakes his head side to side, rubbing his curved nose in the right places that has you seeing stars.

Aemond’s fingers join his mouth soon, two digits at once that have you choking around Aegon’s thick cock in your mouth, fucking you at a fast pace.

Unfortunately or fortunately, you can’t form a coherent thought. You just lay there when Aemond pulls his fingers out of you to brush his coat off, pushing his pants down enough to grab a hold of his cock and bring it out of his boxers.

Your eyes water as Aegon keeps his assault on your mouth, the head of his dick hitting the back of your throat as his groans and moans fill the bus, and you can honestly feel him getting closer and closer, but he stops and pulls out of your mouth quickly.

“Turn around, doll, let Aemy see your pretty face as he fucks you stupid,” Aegon says as he stands up and walks to the desk in the corner before Aemond manhandles you on your back, most of your body supported by his strong arms keeping your hips aligned with his weeping cock.

You bite your lips, hands reaching to hold on to Aemond’s forearms as he pushes his fat cock inside you slowly, groaning at the resistance he faces but not pulling out either. With one swift thrust, he sheathes himself inside you completely, groaning at how warm and wet you are for him.

Aegon comes back with a pack of Snow, grinning at the sight of you getting fucked by his younger brother while his cock is still hard and twitchy against his stomach. He crouches down next to you, opening the pack before he lines up two rows of the powder on your breasts, deeping his head down to sniff one, groaning in delight as he licks at your breast after that.

“Keep going, lil bro. We shouldn’t disappoint our biggest fan,” Aegon chuckles, leaning down to sniff the second line as well before he tips his head back, relishing in the moans and yelps of pleasure you let out as Aemond keeps fucking you in a fast pace that has you seeing stars.

“Are you going to join or not?” Aemond asks his older brother breathlessly, his good eye glued to where your bodies are joined.

“Oh, yes, I’m gonna fill her pretty mouth with my cum now,” you moan at the thought of him fucking his load down your throat, “yeah, what a slut we have here, eager to take more than one cock inside her. Pretty doll, ready to serve your favorite celebrities?” Aegon hovers above your chest and you open your lips for him, hands coming for support to his thick thighs before he pushes himself in as well.

Aemond fucks you harder, his thumb going down to rub on your pearl in a fast pace, bringing you closer to your peak. 

Aegon tries to match his brother’s rhythm, thrusting his dick into your mouth intensely, groaning and shaking on top of you as he fucks your throat.

The brothers moan and have their way with you in sync, and with one final moan and a deep rough thrust from Aemond, you come undone, clenching so hard around Aemond that he comes with you as well, emptying his thick load inside your cunt.

Aegon takes a bit longer, so you reach and fumble with his balls, squeezing them in your hands while you give him the best puppy look you can muster, begging him to give you whatever he has.

And he does, coming inside you as he shudders, pressing his hips to your nose until there is no room left for you to breathe, so you lay there and take it, spurting some of his salty cum out of your mouth. 

They both pull away from you, Aegon lies down on the floor while Aemond sits back on his heels, smiling at your filled pussy, watching his cum dribbling out of you slowly, leaking on the floor.

“You’re not going anywhere, doll,” Aegon says, “you’re ours from now. Not a chance we’d let a pretty thing like you flee away from us.”

[emphistic]

"I'm Lactose Intolerant"

Things Reader Should Acknowledge: I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THIS ALREADY BECAUSE I FORGOT TO SAVE IT AS A DRAFT, i have yet to get the hang of tumblr, yuuji hasnt been born yet, the itadori parents neglect their children so grandpa takes care of them, waaaaaay later is when yuuji is born, sukuna gets his tattoos when he is older

Prologue: As summer nears its end, and autumn takes its place, you find yourself in quite the situation. A new family has arrived in the neighborhood, and your parents have tasked you with greeting your new neighbors. A wacky grandpa, a gloomy tween. Seriously, could things get any worse?

A/N: Sukuna is 10 years old, while reader is 9 years old. However, Sukuna was held back a grade, so guess who is joining your class this year? *cue the confetti*

Please REFRAIN from REPOSTING MY WORK (REBLOGS ARE EXEMPTED FROM THIS RULE)

PS: i know little kids shouldnt be walking the streets alone, but lets just pretend the world is a better place

Chores are boring. Errands, on the other hand? Well, not so much.

You shielded your eyes from the rays of the sun as you walked down the street, avoiding the cracks on the pavement. The sky bled as the sun set and the songs of the birds started to come to a halt. It was a typical Saturday, help get the groceries, head home, and assist with dinner as much as possible. However, what wasn't typical was the fact that there was a moving company's truck blocking your way home.

Wow, there's definitely a better way to go about this, you sigh. Mindlessly, you kick a pebble aside and tighten your grip on your tote bag as your stride continues.

Several men in navy colored uniforms carry boxes as another man, who you estimate is a septuagenarian, surveys the workers from the front lawn of his new house. The man, who you also assume is your new neighbor, has his hands clasped behind his back and wears a green wool sweater.

Deciding to be polite, you clear your throat, neaten up your braids, and slowly approach the man, cautious as you try not to give him a heart attack. At nine years old, one may not know much, but one might know that killing your elderly neighbor is a pretty wack first impression.

The man looks quite surprised to see you approach, and even raises a white brow.

Okay, maybe this is a bad idea, you think as your palms start to sweat. You go through several introductions through your mind just to go with the most lame one.

"Hello, sir. My name is Y/N L/N. I'm your . . . uhh, new neighbor," you cringed at yourself before holding out a hand to the man.

"Ah, wasn't expecting to meet my neighbors on the first day here. I am Mr. Itadori, pleasure to meet you," his voice sounded like that of an old man's, yet, it had such a warm, cozy feel to it. He took your hand and gave it a firm shake.

"Likewise," you say, after a few seconds of silence.

"Should a girl, — pardon my rudeness — as young as you, be walking out here alone at this time?"

"Aha, my parents trust this neighborhood enough. And anyway, I was only getting groceries from the store, it's not too far from this block actually." You pointed a finger in the direction of said store.

"Wow, you must be pretty responsible for your parents to be sending you out for groceries, huh? Good to know some children in this neighborhood help out their families," Mr. Itadori turned to face a boy, probably not much older than you, who was carrying boxes into the house when he put emphasis on the word "some".

The boy had pink unruly hair, that was slicked back and spiky. You held back a giggle at the sight.

"Grandpa, I'm literally moving furniture into the house. What are you looking at me for?" The boy grumbled, but he didn't stop as he moved the boxes.

"I never said you didn't help out. I was just simply telling Y/N here, about how some children help out their families. No need to get upset now, Sukuna." Mr. Itadori gave a small chuckle, before abruptly turning to face you.

"Oh, right! How rude of me, I haven't introduced you to my grandson."

"Oh, no worries. You guys are probably busy—" You began, before being cut off.

"Nonsense! Sukuna! Come here, boy."

Sukuna muttered something, and dropped off a box by the front of the house before moving over to you and his grandpa.

Now that the boy was closer, you could make out his red eyes, and the frown on his face. Looking back at Mr. Itadori, you noticed he did not share the same qualities as his grandson, and instead had brown eyes.

"What are you waiting for? Introduce yourself!" Mr. Itadori lightly pushed Sukuna closer to you.

The taller boy stared at you for what seemed like forever, before averting his eyes to the ground and keeping them there. "Name's Sukuna."

"Y/N. But I think your grandpa already mentioned that," you tried to lighten the mood.

You swear you heard him say something along the lines of "pretty name" under his breath, but before you could ask, Sukuna retreated to his boxes. His grandpa looked displeased at that. Actually, that's quite an understatement. He looked furious with Sukuna, but he didn't do anything other than sigh and bid you adieu and good night.

You slowly walked back to your house, your arrival being a little later than usual, which your parents questioned you about, to which you explained that there was a truck in your way.

When it was time for bed, you did as you usually did. Showered, changed into your pajamas and watched a movie before cleaning up and preparing to actually go to bed. As you moved to close your window blinds, you noticed something you hadn't seen in a long time — considering no one's occupied the house next door since it was put on sale — there was a window right across from yours, and the light was on.

You didn't plan on becoming a creep at such a young age, but due to curiosity, you didn't peel your eyes away from the window. It surprised you to see that the room across from yours was a bedroom belonging to none other then Sukuna. When you saw the pink spikes of his hair come near the window, you quickly shut the blinds.

The next morning, your mom shook you awake.

You groaned, "Mom. . . What is it?"

"We have new neighbors, honey! I've already started prepping for baking an apple pie for them—" You let her ramble on while you were still half-awake.

Oh, right . . . you never mentioned your meeting with the Itadoris. Now you have to introduce yourself to them, yet again.

"—I just need you to grab a few ingredients for me, if you don't mind."

"Sure, Mom. No problem." You stretched out your arms and yawned.

"Perfect! I'll let you get ready then. I'll give the list on your way out." Then, your mom got up, and shut the door.

You yawned again and rubbed your forehead. This was definitely going to be an interesting day, to say the least.

You met your mom downstairs and she instructed you on the ingredients you needed to purchase. "Uh huh, got it. Thanks. Bye, Mom!

Still half-asleep, you slowly slipped on your sneakers and headed out through the door. The sun warmed your face, yet sent a chill down your spine.

Apples and lemon.

Apples. . .

And lemons.

You hummed to yourself as you walked down the street, passing by the Itadori house.

Apples and lemons—

"Gah!" A little rock got in your way, and you were about to faceplant onto the sidewalk when you felt a firm hand on your shoulder reel you back upward.

You turned to see who your savior was, and cocked your head to the side in surprise.

"Sukuna? What are you doing out here?"

"No 'thanks for saving me, Sukuna'? Also, contrary to your belief, other people in this neighborhood get out the house too, y'know?"

You scoffed, jutting out your bottom lip, "Thanks."

Sukuna held a smug look on his face.

"So . . . you gonna take your hand off my shoulder, or should I do that tor you?"

He looked taken aback, and swiftly returned his hand to his hoodie pocket. "I have to go get groceries. My grandpa sent me, because our house is basically empty?" Sukuna acted as if that was common knowledge.

"What did you have for dinner last night, then?"

"Ordered in."

You mumbled, "Figured."

"Anyway, Grandpa told me you know where the closest grocery store is? I need . . . directions."

"Oh! Right," you scratched the back of your neck. "I'm actually heading there right now. You can come with." If Sukuna didn't want to go with you, he certainly didn't show it (surprisingly).

"So you're actually going to turn this way, down here, across this weird looking house or something — I actually don't even know if it has someone living in it — then go in front of this—"

"Stop talking, and maybe we'll get there faster," Sukuna muttered.

You turned around to face him; he had his hands in his pocket and wore a bored look on his face. You huffed.

"Go have someone else show you the way, then. Y'know, I was actually trying to be nice to you and all. I'm even showing you the shortcut. And now look at how you're treating me." You turned away from him.

"'Trying to be nice'? Please. You haven't asked me how day was going. 'Trying to be nice' my ass."

You ignored his use profanity at such a young age, and you came to a skidding halt; Sukuna even bumped into your back when you stopped abruptly.

"What is your problem!? So what if I haven't asked you how your day was going? SO WHAT? You haven't asked me either. If you don't like me just leave. me. alone!"

"People are so uptight these days," Sukuna shrugged.

"Uptight? UPTIGHT? Please, be my guest, and show me how I'm the uptight one here." You couldn't believe this dude. He's the only other kid in this neighborhood — besides your sibling — and he refuses to be cooperative, kind, nonetheless, a decent person.

The rest of the walk to the grocery store happened in silence. And believe me, the silence was loooouuuuddd. You wholeheartedly believed Sukuna would leave, but he didn't. Which made you even more mad.

The bell above the door chimed when you stepped in the store, out of pettiness, you didn't even hold the door for Sukuna. He scoffed at that, and you turned around to face him. "Well, here you are. The grocery store. Happy now?"

"I'm never happy."

Wow, he must've been dropped on the head as a baby, because he certainly did not get the personality from his grandpa.

You walked through the aisles one by one and searched for the items your mother requested.

Apples and lemons.

You didn't even bother placing them in a bag, insisting on carrying them yourself. Meanwhile, Sukuna was still trailing behind you, much like a lost puppy. His groceries were all in a bag, and he looked ready to pay, but he was still behind you.

Finally, you got sick of his weirdness, and peered over your shoulder to get a look of his face, which was frowning, "Why are you following me?"

He looked like he was pondering, thinking of a way to answer your question. "Girls shouldn't be walking around alone. Especially you."

"Ugh, there you go again. Always thinking you're better than everyone else. And, whaddya mean 'especially me,' huh? You don't think I can handle myself? Are you here to protect me or something? Swooping in to save the day, my knight in shining armor? Seriously, Sukuna."

He groaned, and dragged his free hand down his face, "I came from a not so safe neighborhood. Can't you see I'm just trying to look out for you? If some man came up and harassed you, and I was shopping in some other aisle, would you blame me too?" His voice softened on the last part.

"Forget it, you're right. I'm wrong," you sighed and walked to the register.

When you got home, your mom ushered you inside and hurried to start on the apple pie. You bit your nails as she worked, and she quickly took notice of that.

"Something wrong, sweetie?"

You shook your head, and mouthed a simple "no".

While you were upstairs reading a book, you heard the beeping of the oven, signaling the completion of the baking process. Before you could even put down your book, your mother called out to you from downstairs.

She welcomed you in the kitchen and took great care in wrapping the freshly baked pie in tinfoil and sending you off to the Itadori house. But before that happened, however, she made you memorize your speech, reminding you to inform your next door neighbors of who originally made the pie. And with a soft pat on the back from your mom, you were off.

It was a quarter past 12 o'clock when you finally found the courage to knock on your neighbor's front door. You heard a "coming!" from inside the house, and returned your hand to its side.

Loud footsteps came closer until finally the door was flung open. You were greeted by the sight of Mr. Itadori in a fluffy red robe, and equally fluffy slippers.

"Ah! Y/N. What a pleasant surprise to see you here."

You stuttered a bit, "Hi, Mr. Itadori. My mom and I wanted to formally introduce ourselves, and welcome you to the neighborhood — I didn't mention our very much brief meeting yesterday."

"Oh wow! You can tell your mother I appreciate her kind welcome." He turned his head into the house, and called for, "Sukuna! Come here, boy."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to be a bother—"

"Agh, you children. Always the same. Nonsense, Y/N. Utter nonsense."

Sukuna stood behind his grandpa in record time, his speed surprised you. "What's she doing here?" He sneered. You offered him a glare in return while Mr. Itadori was oblivious.

"Don't be rude to our kind neighbor. She's here to formally introduce herself."

"Again?"

"Yes. Again."

"Whatever."

Your eyes flickered back and forth between the Itadoris' banter. "I've brought some apple pie — my mom baked it."

Mr. Itadori's eyes lightened up as you presented the tinfoil covered dish to him. "It smells delicious! You really didn't have to, my dear."

"It was no big deal, I promise," you laughed (nervously).

"I will put this on the counter, one second," Mr. Itadori walked away, leaving you and Sukuna alone. The taller boy crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway.

"Apple pie? Really? Are you trying to kill me and my grandpa? I'm lactose intolerant. We're lactose intolerant. He just didn't want to seem rude, so he's putting it away."

"Oh. . . uhh, I didn't know that—"

"I can tell. You didn't think to ask first? How considerate of you, Y/N."

You stumbled on your words.

"I'm just messing with you. Apple pie is his absolute favorite."

Your jaw dropped six feet, before you came back to your senses and rolled your eyes, "Did you have to scare me like that?"

He laughed aloud, "Duh. Shoulda seen the look on your face. Priceless!" He continued to laugh, while your expression remained stoic, trying not to laugh as well. You didn't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking he was actually funny.

When his laughter subsided, he cocked his head to the side. "What's with the face? Girls don't know how to joke around or something?"

You frowned.

Mr. Itadori returned to the both of you and patted his grandson on the back. "Well! Thank you again, Y/N. Tell your family I say thanks and appreciate their kindness."

"Of course. I'll be going now." You waved to Mr. Itadori — feigning ignorance to Sukuna — and walked back to your house next door.

When Sukuna and his grandpa sat at their newly assembled dining table, they both couldn't believe how good the apple pie tasted. Sukuna even asked for a second slice.

Mr. Itadori broke the silence, "So, school starts tomorrow."

Sukuna glanced at his elder, and raised a brow.

"Since you don't know anyone else at your new school, you can ask Y/N for help. She'll be in your grade anyway."

Sukuna sighed, "Grandpa, why are girls so difficult?"

"Ohoho," Mr. Itadori's laughter boomed throughout the house. "You're a funny one, Sukuna," and he ruffled his grandson's unruly hair, messing it up more.

[luckykiwiii101]

HOW TO CHANGE YOUR SELF CONCEPT AND MANIFEST YOUR DREAM LIFE WITHIN A WEEK!!!

——————————————————————————

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

——————————————————————————

(For when you feel like you just can’t do it).

HEY YOU THERE!!!! Are you still in a continuing loop of not seeing ur desires? Of feeling lack? Feeling like there is so much weight on your shoulders and that your desires are out of reach?

Well believe it or not…we’ve all been in that position. We’ve all been in positions where we put our desires above us, too high to reach. That’s just called having a terrible self concept. And if you are familiar with the law of assumption, you know that self concept is REALLY IMPORTANT!!!

If you really believed that you can’t achieve what you want, then you wouldn’t be here in the first place. Reading this post. Surfing tumblr to read success stories and tips&advice. That tiny amount of faith you have says a lot. We’ve all been at that point, having little to no faith. I’ve been there, at one point i start doubting the law. But i knew i didn’t deserve to live a sad life, so i changed my inner self.

You know how the law works blah blah blah. One thing to familiarise yourself with is how “illogical” it is. This was a concept i didn’t grasp before. I thought it was ridiculous for people to wake up in their dream house, with their dream EVERYTHING. It felt so…unnatural and odd. I felt like things like that couldn’t happen. I thought maybe they tricked themselves into seeing that. But when i started to realise that we are just pure consciousness, everything changed.

First of all, people who manifested their dream life didn’t “teleport” to a different realm or anything. They just changed their awareness to their liking. You are aware of not living your dream life, so that is what you see. Everything in your life is based on your awareness. What you’re aware of. Are you aware of being a master manifestor? If so, then you are a master manifestor. Everything you accept to be real is REAL. YOU gave into the 3D and accepted it as real. That’s why every time something bad happens to you, you say “why is this happening to me!!! I’m so unlucky” etc. You accepting your undesired 3D circumstances as real is literally self sabotage. The only time where you can accept your 3D as real is when it is in your favour. The 4D (imagination) is the REAL and ONLY reality because the 3D cannot exist without it. Still don’t believe me? Remember the time when you really believed that something would happen and it did, for example believing that you would fail an exam. Anyway, i’m not going to try and convince you to believe in the law of assumption if you don’t already. Because no matter what, in a week or less your state will manifest. Belief or not. Wanna know why? You’ve manifested constantly your whole entire life before even knowing about the existence of the law. You did all that without believing in it. LMAO you literally manifested to find it difficult, without believing in it. The law is based on faith, not proof. Proof (which for most of you reading this is the 3D). Never see the 3D as “proof” of your manifestation. Why would you do that? Looking in the mirror after listening to a subliminal to check for results is accepting the 3D as proof. Being surprised when your manifestation “didn’t come” in the desired amount of time is accepting the 3D as proof. BUT HELLO?!?! The 4D IS THE REAL REALITY!!! THAT IS A FACT NO MATTER WHAT YOU BELIEVE!!! NOTHING CAN CHANGE THE FACT THAT THE 4D IS THE REAL REALITY!!!

The 4D is all you need when you desire something. Fulfill yourself in the 4D. The purpose of “feeling it real” is not to convince yourself that you have it. It’s to remind yourself that you do. Embody the state of having your desires. If you don’t know about states i really recommend reading a blog about them. It’s literally the foundation of the law!!! Your state manifests!!! Never come from a state of lack. Never affirm from a state of lack. Never visualise from a state of lack!!! When i knew about the law for some time, i thought i was trying to “convince” myself that i had my desires by “pretending” to have them and “acting as if” i had them. That is literally coming from a state of lack. That is literally accepting that you don’t have your desires. But the 4D is the real reality. So stop accepting your 3D circumstances as real, because they aren’t. They are so fake. Faker than my old friends. The 3D is literally just a product of your past assumptions. It is not real!!! It does not exist the moment you accept that it doesn’t. Why do you think people manifest instantly in the void? Waking up in their dream house/apartment with everything they’ve always wanted? Because the 3D isn’t real. It’s like an illusion. Focus your awareness on having your desires and that HAS TO reflect! Failure does not exist!! Failure does NOT exist!!! Got it? Lemme tell u something. One night i was reading a success story about the void state and waking up in a fricking CAR when they went to sleep in their bed. I was low key shocked to be honest but my mindset has improved since then and i’m not baffled anymore (this was about 2 days ago). I had an epiphany from there. I literally started to realise that the 3D is literally not real. You are just pure consciousness. Whatever you are conscious of, you will see. It’s not “teleporting”. It’s not “magical”. You’re not in a parallel universe far far farrrr away from your loved ones, being surrounded by clones (because that was what i thought before and i was TERRIFIED!!!) Look around right now. Look!!! Look at your surroundings. They aren’t real. That’s just the 3D. The real reality is the 4D. You aren’t “creating” anything. You are just focusing your awareness on the REAL reality (the 4D).

You do realise that you have manifested countless things during your life, unconsciously (without knowing). What makes you think that you can’t do it consciously? Why? Do you believe that you are unlucky? Have you brainwashed yourself that badly that you lost complete faith in the law? You literally manifested for things to be difficult for you…isn’t that disappointing? Luckily, you will use your power to your advantage this time, and not for self sabotaging.

I REALLY RECOMMEND READING @piercedblunt posts because she made me understand the law of assumption so well!!!!

You are going to follow this routine for a week!!! I promise it is literally IMPOSSIBLE to not materialise your dream life. Whether it’s:

- Revising people’s deaths, waking up in a mansion, waking up in a different country, waking up with your desired body and face, becoming an alien, being able to fly, growing wings, being able to talk to animals, being able to manifest in under 2 seconds.

STEP 1

- Embody the state of HAVING, not desiring. States are the easiest things ever. So ridiculously easy to embody.

HOW TO EMBODY A STATE:

ANGEL’S FULFILLMENT “CHALLENGE”

READ THIS!!!

PERSISTING = REMINDING

You should acknowledge that those limiting beliefs were just created by your fears CAUSED by the 3D.

LMAOOOO HOW IRONIC! The ONE thing holding you back was the 3D…and it turns out that IT ISN’T REAL!!! Isn’t that so relieving? Literally most and if not all problems people have had with the law of assumption was based on the 3D. Now that you’ve accepted that the 4D as the real reality, this will be so much easier!!! Ofcourse there are things like “intrusive thoughts” that scared you but you aren’t embodying the state of those instrusive thoughts are you? No, exactly, so they will not manifest. Thoughts do not manifest. States manifest.

Remember, when manifesting, the goal is not to “get”. Because you already have it.

IT IS LITERALLY TIME FOR YOU TO ACCEPT THAT YOU HAVE YOUR DREAM LIFE!!!! STOP PROCRASTINATING!!! I promise you, your desired life with materialise in a week or less. Never give up.

SOME SCOLDING RIGHT HERE!!!

[wonwoosthetic]

Hi! So I have a newer idea for Daryl that popped up in my mind while shopping today. It's 100% okay if you don't want to write this, though! It is kind of long so I completely understand if you don't feel like writing this 💜

Basically, Daryl meets reader, aka Shane's fiancé, at the quarry and could instantly notice how toxic Shane was to her. She wasn't allowed to really talk to any of the guys in the camp and was forced to do most of the laundry to keep her from interacting with the rest of the group. However, one day while Shane's off doing you-know-what with Lori, Dale sends reader to go hunt with Daryl with a compound bow that he'd found. To Daryl's surprise, she's amazing at hunting and they have a little convo about Shane. They then stumble across Shane and Lori going at it like rabbits but silently retreat, not making a scene. Back at the camp, when Shane returns, reader simply just places the ring back in his hand and tells him they're over. Being free to do what she wants, she starts getting closer with Daryl over the next month or so, and when they get to the CDC, her and Daryl have this cute moment with a few people watching them and then Glenn, in his drunken stupor, makes a comment about what a cute couple they are. Cue the sudden realizations from both sides that they like each other. Can end with a confession or not. <33

a/n – first of all, to everyone who reads this: you better check Krys out! I am absolutely IN LOVE with everything she writes (Daryl and Hazel is my favourite but literally everything is a masterpiece!) second: to get a request from one of my favourite authors on this app here is an ABSOLUTE HONOUR and I truly truly hope that I could somehow reach your expectations!!!! Thank you so much for sending me it, and I really hope you and everyone that reads this enjoys it ˙ᵕ˙ thank you for marking my start in writing for Daryl now too!😊

A little side note: surprise, I still can’t write short stuff, but bc tumblr is a bitch and is messing with long stuff I post, I decided to make 2 parts, so I can truly involve everything I planned, I hope that’s okay!!🤍🤍

masterlist

word count – 7.4k

pairing – daryl dixon x fem!reader, shane walsh x ex!fem!reader (rarely)

warnings – cursing, mentions of sex, infidelity, toxic man

Don��t Talk To Strangers Or You Might Fall In Love – Pt. 1

Later in the evening, the women gathered down at the quarry once again. With each holding onto a basket of some sort, carrying the laundry of the rest of the camp residents, they had found their usual spot by the water. Their hands were already starting to get wrinkly by the amount of clothes they had to wash - it had only been a couple of days, and there was already a pile of it.

A wince from the oldest woman of the group made all three heads snap towards her, their eye following her carefully.

"Everything okay?" Jacqui asked, stopping mid-movement before she set down the soaked t-shirt she was holding.

Carol was quick to brush off her concerned tone, sending the woman a quick tight smile as she re-adjusted her position on the ground.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she cleared her throat. "Just... a stone."

The other women shared a quick knowing look. Yes, the surface they were sitting on was mostly stone, but not enough to get hurt or even wince the way Carol just did. She must've hit one of her bruises against the hard ground. One of the many that decorated her skin. While some of them she had clearly been able to hide underneath her clothing, the women couldn't help but notice the ones on her arms. And while some seem to fade, it didn't take much longer for new ones to appear just a day later.

"You know," Amy jumped into the conversation. "You... you don't have to share a tent with him." Everybody immediately knowing, who she meant. "You could stay in the RV, or-"

"I'm okay, Amy. Please." Carol's tone made the younger woman stop again, going right back to the task at hand. While you had hoped you'd go back to finish off your work in silence, Jaqui had other plans as she raised the volume of her voice to reach you, who was sitting a little further off.

"Well, speaking of shitty husbands." Getting a scoff out of the older woman. "Where's Shane, Y/N?" A chuckle erupted from Amy. 

"Huh?" Your head shot up at the mention of his name. You found three awaiting pairs of eyes fixed on you, sending an uncomfortable rush down your spine.

"Where's your husband?" Amy repeated the question, her voice holding a slightly more gentle tone.

"He's not my husband. Just... fiancé." You shrugged. "I don't know...," mumbling as you were almost too embarrassed to admit. "He said something about going hunting."

Jacqui let out an annoyed huff of air. "That was hours ago. It's getting dark soon, doesn't he think-"

"I trust him to know how to keep himself safe. He knows what he's doing," you told her mindlessly, pouring the now dirty water back into the river in front of you. 

You knew how most of the group felt about Shane. He had declared himself as the leader of your little group, thinking his status as a sheriff made him the right fit despite some of the eye-rolls and annoyed sighs it had gotten from the rest in return. It didn't seem to bother him, not even a little bit. You had tried to defend him, wanting to explain his plan of action and knowledge to the others, but he had shushed you down quickly. His own stance was enough for him to stand in front of the group of people, promising to lead them well and try to figure out how to move forward in the, what you'd now call, apocalypse.

While he was securing his place as the tough leader, commanding each person around and giving them a set role in the group, you had tried to find a sense of community. If you were to go and travel further with these people, might as well try to create some form of comradery. But that was brought to a halt before you could even truly start. By Shane.

'They're not your friends. They're just random people. We don't know them and we don't gotta know them.' He had told you. You had tried to start an argument, wanting to explain that while you didn't know most of them just yet, you might as well start now if you're going to spend more time in an enclosed area with them. 

'Let's keep an eye out for Lori and Carl. She just lost her husband, for God's sake.' He never really explained just how he knew that Rick was officially dead, but the two members of the Grimes family seemed to be his only concern. The fact that you had known Glenn for a while now and considered him a close friend, almost a younger brother, didn't even register with him. He was just 'another dirty man, just like the rest of them' to Shane. He had made his opinion of the members of your group very clear. They're strangers. If it wasn't about Lori and Carl, it wasn't important. Why you were the one washing their clothes though was still beyond you though.

Jacqui was just about to open her mouth again, not wanting to drop the topic of conversation just yet, but a loud voice from up the quarry got your attention.

"Ya just don't give a shit, ya old bastard!" Daryl's uncanny accent echoed through the open area.

While a deep sigh tumbled from Carol's lips, Amy tried to ignore the fight a few feet away from you and Jacqui shook her head.

"These Dixon brothers, I swear to God... I don't understand why we haven't made them leave yet."

"Daryl's a good hunter," Amy commented quietly with a slight shrug.

"Yeah, and selfish," the older woman spat back, "And Merle? He's nothing but dragging everyone here down."

You decided to leave the scene in silence, not wanting to add anything to the conversation. You believed that everyone had a good reason for acting and behaving the way they were. You'd like to think that your good nature was part of the reason why Shane fell in love with you. Your years of dealing with children coming from troubled families had taught you that there's mostly good in almost everyone, just that most hadn't had the chance to find that side of them yet. In some ways, the Dixon brothers' attitudes reminded you of them. 

Back in the camp, you brought the washing bowl back to where the rest of the clean laundry was already hanging to dry. Before you could go any further, hoping to find some alone time in your tent, Dale's voice made you stop.

"Y/N!"

You looked up at the top of his RV, where he had secured a chair, a small table and an umbrella to keep the sun from frying his skin.

"Hey, Dale," you smiled at the older man, who copied your facial expression. While some had come to find him to be a 'typical grumpy old man' - and by some you mean Shane - you and Dale had gotten closer over the short time you had spent in the group. He reminded you of your dad, who at that point in time was God knows where. You hoped he found a group similar to yours and was trying to find his place in the world you would now be living in.

"You know how to use a bow and arrow, right?" He asked you, remembering the story you had told him.

You nodded, shielding your eyes with one hand as the sun was starting to make them hurt. "My dad taught me a little, why?"

"Look what I found," he grinned before turning around to pick something up. He crouched down, now with a compound bow in his grip as he tried to get it down to you. With quick steps, you got closer, your eyes brightening up at the sight.

"Oh my god... Dale!" Your smile only widened once you got your hands on the bow. You let your hand glide over the metal, finding it to be heavier than expected. It was still in perfect condition, but you couldn't even finish admiring it before your eyes found another item being dropped down at you.

"Those were next to it," Dale added as he handed you a bag holding multiple arrows that were hopefully supposed to go with the bow. He watched your smile as you couldn't take your eyes off the archery tool. "You think you know how to handle that thing?"

"I mean... my dad taught me how to use a longbow, but... can't be that hard, right?"

The older man couldn't even answer you as a scoff erupted from behind you, followed by the familiar scruff voice of Darly.

"Ya think it's that easy." Stating it more than wondering. Knowing not to start a conversation with him unless truly needed, only able to imagine how Shane would react if he found you talking to him, you decided to ignore his comment, focusing back on Dale who seemed to have done the same.

"Where did you find it?" You asked him.

"Oh just... from a house a few minutes away. Thought you could use it."

"I don't know when yet, but... I'll try," you smiled at him.

"How about you go and try it out now?" He suddenly asked you.

His question made your head shoot back up to look at him in wonder. "Now? What do you mean?"

He sighed. "It's gonna get dark soon and Shane and Lori aren't back yet, we should try-"

"Lori?" Her name fell from your lips as you glanced around the area, only finding the youngest Grimes sitting in the grass, entertaining himself with some sticks and stones. "Where is she?"

Dale shrugged. "Said something about finding berries and whatnot-" Another scoff from behind you made him stop to shoot Daryl an annoyed glance. "I think we should try to at least get something to eat for the kids. And if they're not back anytime soon, they won't have dinner."

"What? My huntin' skills ain't enough for you, old man?" The younger Dixon brother shot up from his crouched position on the floor, nudging his head up at Dale, who was clearly annoyed by his attitude.

"A squirrel isn't gonna feed an entire group. Take Y/N with you and try finding something."

"Dale-"

"Shane's not here, honey," he immediately stopped you, apparently already knowing what your argument would be. "I think he'll be okay, knowing you were out finding something to eat for the kids."

"That asshole would rather watch 'em kids die than send her huntin' with any of us!" Daryl spat back, ignoring you standing right next to him.

He turned your head towards him. "Don't talk about him like that." Speaking to him in a much softer tone than he just did, only getting a shake of his head and an annoyed mumble in return before he turned his back towards you, making his way towards the woods. A quick glance back up at Dale made him nudge his head towards the direction the archer had just disappeared into. You could either get sulky and refuse to go with the man who had clearly other interests than to go hunting with you or you could be the bigger person and focus on bringing something into the community. Even if that meant rebelling against your partner's order to stay at the camp and focusing on the laundry in the quarry. You decided on the latter, knowing that he'd find something to get annoyed at one way or another.

With a sigh, you nodded to Dale's proposal and swung the bag of arrows over your shoulder. Turning around to follow the way Daryl had just strutted, your eyes found his silhouette already between the trees. It was uncanny. Anyone could tell it was him. His zero-fucks attitude and his arms just casually hanging by his side- The pop of his hips with each step he took just underlined the sass that man possessed almost making you chuckle.

Unlike a lot of the other members of the group, you didn't necessarily dislike him. His brother was a totally different subject. They were difficult to deal with and most definitely not the teamwork type of personalities - not directly at least. You had noticed the multiple times Daryl would vanish from sight, only to come back a few hours later with a few dead squirrely thrown over his shoulder, that he would then give to the group after skinning them. It was absolutely disgusting, to say the least, but he did his part to be a valuable part of the community, even if he might had been a unique character and more challenging to deal with. 

What Merle's issue was, you had yet to discover, but the man didn't intrigue you enough to bore into his background story.

A good few minutes in, you still hadn't caught up with the archer, his steps being way bigger and faster than yours. Panting, you hoped he would hear you.

"Can you slow down for a second? Please."

Not following your words, Daryl kept up his pace, only turning his head slightly. "Don't need yer husband to see us together out'ere or we'll be the ones rotatin' over the fire instead of a dear."

You couldn't help but roll your eyes at his comment, even scoffing loudly at what you had just heard, and mumbling too quietly for him to hear.

Your reaction made him suddenly stop in his tracks and turn his entire body towards you. "What? Ya think I'm kiddin'? I seen the way he talks to ya and everyone else in that godforsaken camp. Treats everyone like shit if it ain' abou' that woman or the kid."

Your glare didn't even intimidate him a bit. Neither did he budge when you took a daring step closer to him.

"How about you focus on yourself and stay out of other people's business? He's trying to be a leader, alright?"

"More like tryna be a dictator. Mussolini woulda loved him." Without another word, he turned around to continue his way further into the woods, leaving you in slight surprise rooted into the ground. A shake of your head and a deep breath brought you back into the present, making you follow him again. You tried to keep the distance between big enough to keep him away from you, let close enough to still have him in view - you sure as hell weren't going to get lost in the middle of the woods.

Looking down to be careful about each step you took, you held onto the strap across your chest. With your view on the ground, you didn't notice Daryl having stopped again, making you suddenly bump into him.

"Oh- sorry." You took a quick jump back.

He had lifted up his arm to the side, keeping you from going any further. Only after looking up, you could follow his gaze, finding what had gotten the archer so enthralled. Between the bushes surrounding you ahead on a tree, there were two chipmunks perked up on a branch. They hadn't noticed you yet and if it hadn't been for Daryl's eagle eye, you had to admit, you would've overlooked them as well.

Suddenly, overly confident, you realised this was the moment you could prove your skill. A skill you hadn't trained for in a few months, but you had long enough training before that, you believed. Swiftly, you grabbed a bow from the bag on your back and took a slow step back, careful not to make any loud noise to disrupt the two animals. Daryl had his crossbow already sitting on his shoulder, his eye trained on the chipmunks as he kept totally still.

"On three," you whispered as you drew the bow in your grip. You couldn't see the archer's slight confusion as he didn't budge, only knowing he had heard you when he suddenly started counting down. As soon as the number 'three' left his lips, you let your arrow shoot through the sky, him going at the exact same time, pressing the trigger on his crossbow. The two bows hit the chipmunks perfectly in sync, making them fall from the branch and onto the floor.

"Yes!" You whispered to yourself in a cheer, brushing past Daryl with a wide smile on your face as you made your way over to where your prey was waiting for you.

The man continued to stand still, only his eyes following your movements as his eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. Only a few seconds later, he found you standing up straight again, proudly holding up one of the chipmunks. He followed your steps, coming to a stop as he looked down at the other animal still on the floor.

"Was that beginner's luck or...?" He asked you as he gathered it off the ground and took out his arrow before taking its companion out of your hands to put both of them into the small bag he had secured by his hips. Your eyes drifted to his arms. Glistening in the sun behind you. He had been collecting dirt all over his body, but the sweat now on his biceps was making it look only half as bad.

You shrugged, not even trying to hide the small smile still on your lips. "Maybe a little since I haven't used one of these in a while," holding up the compound bow.

"Who taught ya?" In surprise, you glanced at him, not expecting to continue the conversation as you went back to resume your hunting journey through the woods.

"My dad."

You noticed his steps suddenly slowing down again, making you turn towards him in wonder. A finger brought up to his lips told you everything you needed to know. Daryl started looking around carefully, while you just turned in a circle, wondering what he had heard. And then you saw it. A 'geek', as Glenn had labelled them, was making its way towards you.

"How on earth did you hear that?" You whispered at him, but the archer just propped his crossbow up again, ready to take out the thing coming dangerously close towards you. The noises coming from the dead had only then started to register with you too. Maybe it was your hearing turning on you or maybe Daryl had just a trained ear. Realising that he was close to shooting again, you stopped him with a hand.

"Can I?"

With a careful look, he lowered his weapon again, motioning for you to go ahead, bringing a small grin to your face. His hand was quicker than yours as he pulled out a bow from your bag, handing it over to you before leaving you to do your thing. Drawing it tightly, you didn't let a lot more seconds pass before sending the arrow straight through the geek's eye.

"Fuck, yeah-" Grinning to yourself for a split second before you realised the words that had dropped from your tongue. "Sorry," you were quick to apologise, getting a look of pure confusion from Daryl in return.

"What? Ya not allowed to curse or somethin'?" Oh, if he only knew. After years of being with Shane, you had found yourself truly swearing off the usage of any curse words as your fiancé had labelled them 'unladylike', sending you a look of disapproval each time it would escape you accidentally. Strict looks had turned into warnings, which then turned into arguments, so you had just learned to bite your tongue.

You were about to head up to get it back, back Daryl's voice stopped you.

"Stay'ere." He walked past you towards the now truly dead thing to get your arrow back. After ripping it out of its head again, he took a good look around, turning his entire body before coming back to you.

"They're usually not alone," he pushed the arrow into your hands. "Let's see what else we can find and get the hell outta 'ere before it gets dark."

You just nodded in agreement before following him again. This time, you noticed walking side by side with him as he had slowed down his strides.

To you, it seemed like a relatively comfortable silence, but Daryl didn't agree with that apparently as his grunt slashed through it,

"Yer husband know you can hunt?"

A sigh evidently fell from your lips, but you were able to hold back a roll of your eyes. He was trying to keep up the conversation and you couldn't not admit that you quite enjoyed not necessarily having to walk in complete silence. Even if it meant talking about Shane apparently.

"Don't know," you shrugged.

"What d'ya mean, ya don't know? Yer never talked about that? Ain't he supposed to know ya inside out or some shit like that?" You knew, deep down his words held nothing but truth, yet, you had learned to ignore remarks like that, knowing that Shane was just a different kind of partner than most.

"Why should he know about something he's not interested in?" As long as you weren't out on your own and at home in the evening with a homecooked meal waiting for him, he had never truly cared about what you did. Lying, you'd be out with your friends for a few hours while doing something completely different had gotten you far. Him working late hours most days only helped. You never even thought about telling him about the childhood hobby you had started at 8 years old and had carried with you up until well into adulthood. While you had left home as soon as you had turned 18, knowing Atlanta was the place you'd want to study in, archery was one of the things that had kept you connected to home. To your dad.

"That don't sound righ' if ya ask me," he commented.

"Well," you couldn't help but sigh again, "good thing he's not your issue to worry about."

"But he is." His comment made you stop. Daryl was quick to notice you not walking beside him anymore, making him stop and turn. "I gotta worry about him havin' my balls on a stick if he sees me talkin' to ya."

"Then don't!"

"Then why d'ya follow me into the woods, huh?" It looked like you were about to start a fight with Daryl Dixon.

"Because Dale asked me to. Because no one trusts you to do anything good for the group on your own," you spat at him, continuing your way, making sure to bump his shoulder as you passed him.

The archer scoffed, "Yeah because everyone trusts ya lil' husband oh so much to care for every-"

You came to another halt. "He's not my husband! We're engaged, you ignorant fuck!"

"Oh, careful," Daryl eyed you, "What would'e say if he heard ya talkin' like that, huh?" Sending you a provocative look that made you take a deep breath in, trying to contain your anger.

"I think you got a brother to worry about, Dixon. Enough drama there, don't snoop into other people's lives."

That seemed to have done the job as he kept quiet while you walked ahead. It took a few seconds before you heard him behind you again, proud of yourself for leaving him stunned even if it was just for a short moment. You didn't want to snap at him like that, you had to admit. It just came out and if you could take it back, you would've. He wasn't directly snooping, you knew that. You weren't here to make enemies, at least you didn't want to. You desperately wanted to get along with everyone as best as possible. Not meaning that you'd have to become close friends with each person in the group, just good colleagues.

With your mind deep in thought, overthinking every word you had just dropped, you didn't notice the ruffling leaves close by. Not until you felt a tug on your arm that made you stop. Almost annoyed, you turned around, only to find Daryl lifting his finger to his lips, telling you to keep quiet. At first, you looked at him in confusion but the moment you heard a grunt, your ears perked up as you started to glance around. You had just ran into a geek with the Dixon brother reminding you that they usually travelled in bigger groups, meaning the possibility of another one being close by wasn't that small.

The grunting continued making your frown only deepen. It didn't necessarily sound like one of the dead, you realised. Daryl started moving around slowly and as quietly as possible, you following close behind, keeping ducked down just in case.

Suddenly, you caught another noise. One that sounded less like a grunt and more like a... moan? Clearly just as confused as you, the archer turned around to meet your gaze for a split second. 

With each step the two of you took further, the noises became much clearer. Shuffling leaves, grunts, and clear moans were now hitting your ear. One specific huff of air made a cold shiver run down your spine. It's like your body knew before your eyes could even see it.

Daryl and you hit a raised ground that kept you from seeing where the noise was coming from as you were still crouched down. But as soon as you let your back straighten, every last bit of air left your lungs. You saw the auburn hair spread out on the grass first. Directly next to it, an all too familiar head of black curls, the face deep in her neck, muting the moans coming from him. With each pound, they became heavier and louder. You already knew it. Right as Shane lifted his head though, you could feel yourself wanting to scream. And if it wasn't for the hand suddenly covering your mouth, you would've.

You were pulled onto the ground, back into your crouched position, and dragged back from where you came from. As hard as you tried to fight the grip the archer had on you, it was no use as he was clearly much stronger than you. The leaves and branches brushed against your pants as he kept tugging on you to keep you right up against him, not daring to loosen the hand covering your lip

Once it seemed far away enough for him, Daryl let go of you, letting you fall to the ground completely as you desperately choked up for air.

"You bastard-" You went at him, only for him to cover your mouth once again.

He pulled you in hard. "Ya screamin' 'ere and an entire hoard will hear ya. Keep quiet," he hissed at you in a whisper. You never noticed the soft specks of green that decorated his striking blue eyes. Not until then.

A quick moment of silence followed as your eyes suddenly filled with tears. Daryl's gaze softened immediately, removing his hand from you as if your skin had turned into burning hot metal.

While you had started to sob in the middle of the woods, trying to keep as quiet as possible, the archer didn't know what else to do, but to stand next to you, his eyes fixed on your shaking shoulders. He wasn't the right person to console someone. Nor did he even know how.

"I told ya he's an asshole," he mumbled, clearly not at the right moment as you sent him an angry frown.

"You didn't tell me sh-"

"I tried tellin' ya!" Raising his voice just a bit to turn his tone stern, yet keeping the volume low enough. "I told ya he ain't interested in anyone but that woman and her son."

"I want to go back," you sniffled, feeling your chest painfully tightening.

"Go back to 'em?!"

"Back to the camp, idiot!" You snapped at him, your hand flying up to your chest. "I feel like I'm gonna throw up." Trying to take deep breaths in that just continuously proved to be hard as you only choked up more. Coughing mixed with your sobs, you fell onto your knees, your hand clutching the very top of your chest as you tried to breathe.

"Hey-" Daryl fell onto the ground right in front of you, his rough hands grabbing you by your shoulders to pull you straight, trying to get you to look at him. "Calm down," he strictly told you.

"H-He-" you sobbed, "he... fucked her. He just-", coughing again as the air got stuck in your throat.

"I know- hey-" you lowered your head to look at the ground beneath you, only for Darly to grab your chin and make you look back up again. "He's a fuckin' idiot. Don't cry 'bout him."

"W-What did I do?" You asked, technically hypothetically, as you continued to choke on your own cries. "What do- How?!"

"Ya didn't do anythin'," he tried to console you. "He's a dumb fuckin' bastard. A coward. A stupid mongo-"

"Lori... I-I thought-," stopping yourself again as another sob shot through your body.

"It's okay," Daryl whispered, "don't fuckin' cry for 'em. Ya think they would cry for ya?"

"What about Carl?!" You ignored his comment, instead continuing to throw out whatever came to your head.

The archer shook his head, "That ain' your problem to worry 'bout."

"She- she just lost her husband... a-and now this?!" 

Before Daryl could say anything, you brushed off his hands from your shoulders and raked yourself up.

Still sniffling, you looked around. "We gotta go back." Noticing that the sun had already started to set and no one was supposed to be out in the dark.

With a grunt, he copied you, pushing himself up to stand again while his eyes continued to follow you as you tried to get yourself back together. You could feel his gaze burning holes into your skin, making you look up. Cheeks tears stained, burning read. Your eyes were swollen, still letting single drops of tears escape as you slowly managed to even out your breathing.

"Let's go back." You re-secured the bag and bog on your shoulder before turning around to walk to the camp. A sigh escaped Daryl's lips as he shook his head slightly before jogging up towards you, stopping you with his hands back on your shoulders. He swiftly turned you around, only to let go again, his steps slowing down to let you walk ahead. This time, in the right direction.

The way back was spent mostly in silence, only a few remarks coming from the archer each time he had to tell you to either turn right or left. In no time, you had come back, finding most of the group either already back in their tents or gathered by the SUV. The sun had fully set, now the only source of natural light coming from the soft glow of the moon.

"There you are!" Dale called out as soon as his eyes found you. The smile that had started to spread on his lips fell quickly as soon as you got close enough to him to let him see the dishevelled state you were in. "What happened?" He gasped, but you just shook your head and made a quick B-turn towards your tent. The tent you shared with Shane.

The older man's tone changed quickly, clearly blaming one specific person for your mood as he followed behind you not much later.

"What the hell did you do to her?" Dale snapped at Daryl, only to get a scoff in return.

"How abou' you ask her asshole fiancé." The Dixon brother left him with that, ignoring the looks of the people around them. He opened his satch to take out the two chipmunks you had caught, only to throw them onto a set-up table and disappear down towards the quarry.

In the comfort of the plastic walls, with the bow and arrows set down outside, you had let yourself let go one more time, the tears not needing more than mere seconds before running down your cheeks again. You couldn't continue crying about this.

'Ya think they would cry for ya?'

Daryl's words rang through your mind. You hated to admit that he was most probably right.

Your relationship with Shane wasn't tense. At least until a few months ago. It had always been a little bit more difficult than you would've liked to, but you remembered the words of your mother, saying 'marriage is hard', making you realise that most likely each couple had their fair share of issues to work through. And you and Shane seemed to just have a good amount of those. Either disagreements, discussions, or different ideas and wants. Everything from as simple as the colour of your living room walls, to which state you'd have your wedding in - since your grandma was almost bedridden, you had proposed to have at least the officiant ceremony in Ohio, but Shane was, surprise, against that.

You glanced down at your ring. A gold band, holding a small square diamond right in the middle. It was beautiful. Even though you had always solely worn silver jewellery and had mentioned the classic round diamond as your dream style. Still, you had accepted the proposal. You looked past the smirks he would send waitresses and secretaries. Ignored comments he made about other people in your life. You had even given in and promised him not to get too close to anyone in the group that was right outside.

It was never 'controlling' in your eyes. You didn't know any better. But while you had to lock yourself away, making doing laundry your only form of 'entertainment', he was having fun with a presumed widow. Whereas he had told you and everyone else that he would be spending the day trying to hunt down 'something big'. 

You shook your head. You had all the reasons to leave him already months ago and yet you didn't. A lot of your friends had told you you'd regret marrying him. But he had managed to get into your head, making you think that they were the crazy ones. That all of your 'dumb sorority girlfriends' had no idea what they were talking about.

Comments and stares were one thing you could look past, but cheating... you had to draw the line somewhere. You remembered all the times your college friends came crying into the dorm, sobbing into their pillows as they complained about their boyfriends fucking around with other girls on campus. Everyone would gather and support them with one opinion: dump him. Leave him. He doesn't deserve you.

'I told ya he ain't interested in anyone but that woman and her son.'

There was Daryl's voice again in the back of your head. Screaming at you. If even he could see it, yet you were too blind to realise it...

With one final deep breath in, you gathered the sleeping bag you had claimed for yourself into your arms, along with your pillow. You managed to drag everything out of the tent, suddenly feeling more free than ever.

Looking around, you found no one sitting outside anymore, indicating most had gone to bed, but the light inside the RV made you hopeful. You couldn't sleep in your shared tent tonight. Or ever again. And Dale was your only other choice. With everything packed in your arms, you made your way over to the vehicle, knocking on the door with your foot. Two voices made you look behind you, your face immediately falling when you found Shane and Lori coming back from the woods. They took their goddamn time.

The door opened, catching your attention again. Dale looked at you in confusion but before he could say anything, you beat him to it.

"Can I sleep here tonight?"

Forget about your age. Suddenly, you felt like a little kid again. Too scared to sleep on their own, begging their parents to let them sleep in their room.

"Y/N?" Shane's rough voice called out your name, making your heartbeat quicken.

You looked up at the older man in panic. "Please."

With no hesitation, Dale nodded, stepping aside to let you walk in, ushering you inside with his hand. Daryl's remark from earlier had engraved itself in his brain as soon as he found the sheriff strutting over to his RV in big steps.

"What is she doing, Dale?" He wondered, his voice holding slight anger to it. "Y/N!" He shouted out your name again, but you gave him no response.

The older man stopped Shane from coming any closer.

"You better leave, son."

"What the fuck did I do?!" He unknowingly asked before getting the RV's door closed in his face.

The moment silence took over the enclosed room, Dale turned to you, now sitting on the small sofa.

"What the fuck did he do?"

If there was one person in this apocalyptic world that you had come to trust, it was Dale. He had already let you into his home, he deserved to get a reason for it.

You could already feel the tears filling your eyes again. Both of you ignored the knocks on the door, the old man's eyes fixed solely on you as he sat down by the small dining table, ready to wait patiently for you to answer his question.

"He... he cheated on me...," You couldn't hold back the sob that followed. "With Lori." The added remark made Dale's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. He leaned back into his chair, taking off his hat to run a hand through his hair as he huffed out a chunk of air.

"Daryl and I- we saw them in the woods-," You let your head fall into the palms of your hand. The old man was quick back on his feet, on his way over to you.

"Oh, honey," sighing out, but stopping as the heavy knocks on the door continued. With an annoyed huff, he rushed over to the door to pull it open.

"Get the fuck away from my RV!" Shouting at Shane, not even giving him a moment to answer as he smashed the door close again.

"I-I don't know what to do." You admitted in sobs, glancing up at the man as he got closer to you, making space to sit down next to you. A comforting arm found its way around your shoulder while his other hand rubbed your upper arm.

"That man doesn't deserve an angel like you," he whispered at you, hoping his calming voice would soothe your cries. "He clearly doesn't know what he lost with a stupid act like that."

"He proposed to me," you showed him the ring in desperation. "Only to cheat on me?"

"What can I tell ya, kid... young men are...," Dale sighed as he shook his head. "Dumb... and blind. They think they own the world."

You continued to sob in the man's arms. Listening to his soft voice as he spoke to you while you kept on your rambles of despair. Why Lori out of all people? You used to go out on double dates with your partners. You had known Rick Grimes for a good few years now. He was a good man. You had thought Lori was a good woman. But there she went, sleeping with an engaged man. The colleague, and best friend of her husband. Who may or may not be dead. Maybe Rick was gone, but you were still there. Only one partner of the cheating couple was widowed. The other part was still very much in a committed relationship. Or so you thought.

"W-What do I do now?" You wondered out loud. "How am I supposed to continue this?" Not necessarily talking about your relationship with Shane, but the situation altogether.

"You don't." Daryl's simple but straightforward answer made you look up. In the meantime, your sobs had quieted down again.

"What?"

"You tell him," he strictly told you. "You tell him what you saw. And you end it. Men like that... they don't change."

"God...," you fell back into the cushions behind you, running your hands down your face as you wiped the tears away. "Was I just... not good enough for him anymore? Why would he do something like this?"

"I wish I could tell ya, honey. But don't think that this has anythin' to do with you," Dale's stern voice made you glance at him. "Men like him don't think. You think he really thought of the possible consequences of his actions?"

You shrugged.

"He didn't. If he did, he wouldn't have done it. And men like don't deserve a second chance. Hell- they don't even deserve a first chance. But they're charming and whatnot, and before you know it, they're havin' their dicks in other women, breaking hearts of the ones that actually care about them."

You decided to stay quiet, letting his words sink in and register with you.

"You don't deserve that, honey."

Nodding your head, you took a deep breath in, wiping your nose. "I know..." With a sigh, you pushed yourself to stand up. "I have to talk to him."

"You sure, you wanna do that tonight?" The man carefully asked you, but you had already made up your mind, so you just continued to nod.

Quietly, you left the RV, of course not before Dale promised to set up a bed for you to stay in inside his movable home. You knew you had found the confidence to face your- Shane. Yet, your shaking legs and hands almost betrayed you. Realising, you didn't even truly think about how to start the conversation, the anxiety inside of you only started to bubble up more, hitting its highest point when you suddenly saw Shane exiting your tent.

His eyes fixed on you in the dark, finding your silhouette coming towards him thanks to the light shining through the RV's windows.

"Y/N-" he started, but you interrupted him right away.

"It's over."

Shane's eyebrows scrunched together. "What?"

"It's over," you repeated, finding your voice slightly shakier than you would've liked to. You glanced down your hands, almost mindlessly, wrapping your fingers around the gold band. Once, the sight of the shimmering ring on your finger made you smile, now it just shot another wave of sadness through your body. Almost shakingly, you took the last step, pulling the gold band off your finger, the metal leaving your skin, making you breathe out heavily.

"Hey- hey," the sheriff rushed closer to you, making you scoot back in reflex. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"What am I doing?" You spat at him, a salty chuckle tumbling from your lips. There was a slight change in expression on his face as he lifted his hands in defence.

"Listen-"

"No, you listen," you stopped him again. You didn't even let your brain think about what words were about to fall from your lips. "Don't even try-" You had to stop yourself, taking a deep breath in, trying to promise yourself not to cry in front of the man that you had lost so many nerves to.

"What the hell are you doing?" He continued to ask you, his frown only deepening.

But you just continued to shake your head, ignoring the anger starting to lace his voice. You had seen Shane angry before. Even angry at you. And it scared you. But right now, the anger, you were trying to hold back, should terrify everyone involved in this situation.

Taking a few steps closer to stop right in front of him, you lifted your hand that was still tightly holding onto the ring you had once worn and shown off proudly. Once Shane opened his palm underneath it, you let it drop down.

"It's over." Before he could ask you anything more, you left him with one last comment hanging in the air. "Have fun with Lori."

Turning around, you could hear his heavy huffs and the callouts of your name, yet he didn't even dare to try and reach out to you, leaving you to make your way back towards the RV. In the back, the sound of him knocking over some of the empty cans you had gathered, filled the silence. Up ahead, you found a silhouette standing still, almost scaring you if it wasn't for the distinct stance you were able to recognise immediately. The dim light illuminated Daryl's scowl as he had clearly watched the scene from a distance.

Arrived at the door of the vehicle, you wanted to at least send him a tight smile, a goodnight and somewhat of a thank you, but the archer had already disappeared again in his usual nature.

I CAN‘T WAIT TO POST PART 2🙈🤗🥰 I loved writing this so much omg

this is me officially stating I'm writing for the man that is Daryl Dixon now too :)

[rafesbabyg1rl]

The Watcher ~ Part Two

Part One, Part Three

Summary: Rafe Cameron x Reader, Stalker!Rafe x Pogue!Reader Your parents work late on Friday nights, which you spend alone. Except you haven't been alone in a long time, not that you know of at least. Rafe has watched for years, he's very good at it. His idea of staying an anonymous stalker is ruined when you catch him in your bedroom one Friday night. Rafe has to figure out how to fix his mistake before he loses the only thing that makes his life worth living. After you find the surprise he had left for you, you choose to believe that his threats were empty and try to turn him in. But, your plans are interrupted and you take an unexpected visit to Tannyhill.

Warnings: Rafe stalks reader...that's literally the plot. Strong & descriptive language, suggestive themes, death threat(?), manipulation, kidnapping (?). If I missed anything from this part that I should include in the warnings, please let me know!

Word Count: 3.5k

Author Note: Part Two is here!! I know this chapter is shorter than the previous, but I figured it's better to get what I had out. Also...I'm not sure if I like where this is going, so please share your thoughts about this part and ideas for future parts. Thank you all for the support on the first part of this story. Especially with this being my first work I've published on tumblr, I am very pleasantly surprised with how everyone has reacted to it. So, please enjoy and feel free to leave feedback! I love you all, thank you so much!!

CREDITS: The foundation of this fic was heavily inspired by/ based off of one of @faiszt 's bots on character ai. So, if you like this and you like character ai, I greatly suggest that you check out the bot!

The blinding morning light shines into your room through your curtains. You sit up and rub your eyes. You glance at the digital clock on your nightstand which currently reads: 10:34 am. Those sleeping pills really worked, you think. Your parents are already at the restaurant, probably just getting over with the morning rush. 

Your eyes begin to focus, your brows furrow as your eyes land on one of the posts of your footboard. You lean forward to grab the pair of panties you had just worn yesterday which are hanging from your bedpost. You’re pretty sure you had put these in your hamper last night and wait, why are they sticky…? You wonder, you examine them and come to the realization of what it is. Immediately you toss them away, that was not from you. It was your stalker, it had to be. Of course, the first night you spend alone since four weeks ago and he already breaks in. And he does this? You think about his words, “tell anyone and I’ll come back and fuckin’ kill you”, shivers roll down your spine. 

You hadn’t even had time to realize how horny you had been when you had woken up; and now that you have you feel so wrong. But your dream…oh god your dream. You can still remember it vividly, even more so the longer you think about it; you can see the face of the man who fucked you stupid in your dream. You know who it was, who your subconscious mind let you fuck while you slept. It was your stalker. 

Without another thought, you’re in the shower scrubbing the shame and disgust from your skin—or at least attempting to. When you feel somewhat satisfied, which also happens to be when the water begins to run cold, you finally get out. Wrapping a plush towel around your freshly clean body, you lean over the bathroom sink and wipe the condensation from the mirror leaving just enough space to see yourself. Before the glass fogs back up you’re able to see a small part of what appears to be a bruise poking out from underneath the towel wrapped around your chest. You lean in closer using one hand to re-wipe the mirror and using the other to pull your towel down past your boobs. Looking back at the bruised area on your chest, you can see that the closer you look at it, the more it looks like a hickey. You just about stumble backwards at the realization. 

You’ve had enough. After you quickly toss on some clothes, you grab your keys off your dresser with a shaky hand. You rush out towards your car and get inside, pulling out of your driveway carelessly and speeding off. When you arrive at your destination, you take a few moments to rethink this plan. You have to do this. You can’t keep living with some creep sneaking in your bedroom and touching you as you sleep. You twist the keys in the ignition and pull them out, you confidently strut towards the entrance of the building. When you feel the vibration of your phone in your pocket you pause, sighing as you reach back to take it out. When you read the random number, with the same Outer Banks area code as you, your brows furrow. Typically you wouldn’t answer a call from an unknown number, but something in you is telling you to answer. As you press the green button and bring your phone to your ear, you glance up at the building you were about to enter which reads, ‘Kildare County Sheriff’s Office’. 

“Hello?” You ask warily.

After a few long seconds, the person on the other side of the line answers you. “Stop.” The man’s voice sends familiar chills down your spine. 

“Excuse me?” You respond, your voice audibly shaky. “Who…who is this?”

“C’mon pup, you already forgot what I sound like? It’s already been that long?” Your eyes widen at the realization of who this voice belongs to. You’ve heard it one other time, well one time that you remember.

As your head darts around the parking lot looking for your stalker, your voice comes out in a tone that easily betrays you, revealing your fear, “No…no…what the hell do you want?”

Rafe smirks from his truck as he watches you from afar. “I want you to turn around and get back in your car, m’kay princess? And I highly suggest you do what I want.” 

“Or what? What’s stopping me from walking in? Or from yelling for help?” You take a step closer to the building’s entrance.

“Stubborn, stubborn girl…” the man chuckles, “If you don’t get back into your fucking car right now, you’re gonna really fuckin’ wish you had just listened to me. I’m gonna get what I want no matter what, baby. You’re mine.” And with that, Rafe hangs up the phone, still watching you from a distance. 

As much as you want to just run into the building and beg for help, you know that unfortunately since you’re a pogue, the cops aren’t going to believe a single word that comes from your mouth. In their minds, all pogues are liars and thieves. And since you don’t have the slightest clue on who the man you saw in your bedroom is, you figure there’s not much they’d be able to do even if they did believe you. So you reluctantly turn back to your car and get inside. The moment your door shuts you inside, your phone buzzes yet again with another call. It’s coming from the same number, but this time you don’t answer. This was your second mistake. 

Rafe’s already pissed off. You went against his rules, you didn’t listen to him, none of this will work if you don’t listen. He thought he had been threatening enough that you’d behave, but clearly you need another scare. You need to be taught that disobeying him does nothing but hurt you more. When you don’t answer the phone when you definitely know it’s him calling, this is just the cherry on top; the icing on the cake. Rafe is fuming. 

You drive out of the parking lot, breath heavy as you stay on high alert–searching for him. A truck suddenly pulls behind you, tailing right on your ass. You can’t see through the truck's front windshield due to the dark tint. You being paranoid, step on the gas and speed up a bit, well exceeding the speed limit. A few quick seconds pass by and you jump at the sound of sirens. It doesn’t take long for you to check your rearview mirror and realize that the sirens are coming from the truck behind you, which is flashing its red and blue lights. You let out a breath of relief. You’re being pulled over yet you’re relieved because it means you aren’t being trailed by your stalker. The feeling is short lived as you flick your signal on and pull off to the side of the road. You roll your window down and shut off the engine.

The officer approaches you and goes through the typical routine and you try to calm your nerves. All sound is drowned out as you get lost in your thoughts. 

“Ma’am?”, the officer repeats. “Do you know why I’ve pulled you over today?”

The sharp and unintentionally threatening voice of the deputy snaps you out of wherever the hell it was that your mind had taken you to. “Yes, sorry sir, I…I was going over the speed limit.” You submit, wanting to get this over with. You can’t help but worry what your stalker would think if he saw this, he’d probably think you’re turning him in. But, you’re not. Really this whole thing was a misunderstanding, but you can’t explain that to the cop. 

“And why is that?” He questions you ever further, his gaze staring at you intensely. You get nervous and want to look away, but you worry that might make you look guilty of something. You’ve been pulled over before, it’s not usually a big deal for you. However you’re just so goddamn nervous and need this moment to be over. You feel like you’ve done something wrong; like you’re hiding something. But you aren’t.

“I–I thought…I just got distracted sir, wasn't thinking about speed. I apologize for the inconvenience.” You catch yourself, technically you aren’t lying; you just aren’t explaining why you were distracted. The threatening words of your stalker still echo around your head. The deputy gives a small lecture as he writes up a ticket for you. Once he gets back into his truck and drives off, you rest your head back against the seat and let out the breath you’ve been holding. When you start your car back up and finally open your eyes, you look straight out across the road. You can see a tall man leaning against a truck parked across the road, staring right at you. The familiar grin on his face has you sick to your stomach. 

After making direct eye contact with him, you pull off the side of the road and do an illegal U-turn so that you’re heading in the opposite direction, leaving the man behind. You know that he’s following you, so you drive around aimlessly until you get another call from the same unknown number. You want to decline, but you’re too afraid to face the consequences that might follow. 

“What do you want?” You ask, voice full of faux confidence. The only thing you hear on the other side of the line is a heavy breath that causes your skin to become full of goosebumps. 

After you’ve had a few moments to panic, he finally speaks, “Keep driving”. His words are not said lightly. This is undoubtedly a command, not an option. 

“Keep driving to where?” You stammer with nervousness. 

“Tannyhill.” He replies strictly. 

“Tannyhill?” You question before being able to stop yourself. You can’t help the attitude that slips into your voice. When a few more moments of silence pass, you get more and more anxious for his response. “Hello…?” You ask quietly, wondering if you lost connection. Still nothing. “Hello?” You ask again with more volume. After another minute or two, you hear the phone beep; the call disconnects. 

Why the hell does he want you to go to Tannyhill? It doesn’t make any sense. But you don’t exactly have a choice. He’s following you either way and it’s not like he doesn’t know where you live…and just about everything about your life. So, it’s probably best to just play along and obey his commands. 

When you get close to the general destination, your phone rings with yet another call. You answer, already knowing who it's from. This time you don’t speak first, you wait to hear what he has to say. It takes a few moments, almost like he’s trying to wait long enough that you’ll talk. The silence starts to get unbearably awkward, but your mind is set on waiting for him to speak and Rafe doesn’t have the time to wait; having to give you directions and all. When he finally talks he doesn’t greet you. His voice breaking the silence startles you as he instructs you with the directions to get wherever it was he was forcing you to go. 

“Wait…turn left h-here?” You ask, confused at his directions. You had missed the beginning of what he said since you had to collect yourself after being frightened. 

He sighs in impatience, “No dammit, the next one. Were you not listening?” 

“I…no I-I was listening–” you stumble over your words as you turn onto the street he wanted you to. 

“Bullshit. You need to learn how to fucking listen to me, don’t you?” When you don’t respond, trying to focus on remembering the directions he gave you, it only serves to piss him off even further. “Huh?! Don’t you?!” He shouts into the phone as he follows behind you.

You whine in fear, “No..I can listen. I promise I can listen to you.” You practically beg. “J-just tell me where to go?”

Rafe directs you to his house, which you of course recognize as the Cameron’s mansion. You’ve heard about the Cameron’s, but you wouldn’t be able to point them out in a crowd or anything. Besides from the father, Ward Cameron, whom you’ve seen on the news several times. Is he a Cameron? As you park in the large driveway, you rack your brain trying to recall the name of the Cameron son. 

His truck parks behind you, blocking your car in. He quickly kills the engine and exits his vehicle. You don’t notice him walking up to you until he’s yanking your car door open and pulling you out by the arm.

“R-rafe?” You mumble insecurely. He pauses to look at you, chuckling at your words. He mutters a quick ‘smart girl’ before retightening his grip on your arm and continuing to pull you into the large mansion. You start to cry, getting overwhelmed as you imagine the many possible scenarios that may occur. “P-please,” you manage to choke out. “What do you want?”

Unlike the last time you cried to him, this time he doesn’t stop. He drags you up one level of the large, spiral staircase; pulling you into his bedroom. As soon as you see the bed, you’re already feeling it beneath your back when he shoves you down just a few seconds later. As if you hadn’t already embarrassed yourself enough, you can’t help the tears that begin to stream down your flushed cheeks at a flooding rate. 

“Wait…no, please, please!” The way you keep shouting and choking back sobs causes you to gag from how worked up you’ve gotten yourself. All the Cameron son does in response is lean back to get a full view of you as a smug grin spreads across his face. “Please, I—oh god, I’m gonna be sick…” You mumble, which is quickly followed by another gag that interrupts your constant sobs. 

Rafe snakes his hand up from your arm to your hair, wrapping his first tightly around a large section of it. He tugs on your hair to force your head to look up at him, causing a small whine to escape your lips. “Shhh…baby, shhh…” He mumbles, his ‘worried’ tone working to oppose his previous amused expression. “Calm down, alright? Calm down. Ain’t gonna do nothin’ you don’t want, m’kay pretty girl?” The way he says that last part…you’ve never heard his voice sound like that before. You didn’t even think he was capable of talking in that tone. He sounds like he might actually truly care about you. You’re relieved; maybe even a bit…comforted by the fact that he might be telling the truth about not doing anything you don’t want. Well, besides having you basically held captive in his home. 

“What…what are you gonna do?” You manage to choke out between sobs, trying to catch your breath so you can calm down.

“I just wanna talk to you baby. Alright?” Rafe mumbles your name into your ear, allowing you to feel his hot breath against the side of your face. Immediately you’re taken back to the first time you had met him, in your bedroom a few weeks back. You try to push that aside and bring yourself back to the present; the memory only brings back the feelings of complete and utter fear you experienced at that time. Not that the present was any better, hell, it was worse. 

Hesitantly, you nod. He waits a few minutes to speak; waiting for you to catch your breath. Once you’re calmer, at least on the outside, he finally starts to talk. “I wanted to talk about my proposition…” He looks down at you, bringing his hand up to cautiously run through your hair. “Last time I got cut short…remember that?”

You nod. “I…I tried to warn you my parents would come home. I-I swear I didn’t tell them anything.” You say frantically, trying to prove your innocence.

“Hey, shh…it’s okay babe. I know. I know.” Rafe speaks slowly, his eyes never leaving your lips. He pauses to momentarily dart his tongue out to wet his parted lips. “I know. You haven’t told…you’ve been a good girl and listened to me, hm? Haven’t you baby? Haven't you been a good girl?” 

You nod frantically. “I…I’d never turn you in…” The false seductiveness in your voice turns him off, if that’s even possible. 

He pulls back from you and sighs, “Shut up.” He runs a rough hand over his buzzed head and begins to quickly pace across his bedroom. 

“B-but you wanted to talk…” You remind him. The way his attitude was constantly shifting in great amounts had you furrowing your brows as you tried to figure him out. 

“Yeah, I do. But not to a goddamn filthy, lying whore.” He retorts, a large grin appearing on his face while he watches your beautiful features move on your face, displaying your thoughts  as you take in his words. “Just be yourself alright? I can always tell when you’re not you.” He says almost sincerely. “I want…I need you to want this. Don’t try to pull that fake crap on me ever again, yeah?” 

Immediately you nod. “I…yes-”, you stammer, instantly regretting even trying to talk in the first place. Rafe chuckles, making your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. He stops pacing and lets out a long sigh, turning to face you again. His steps pause when he’s standing just before you. 

He leans down to whisper in your ear. “I really need this to work, okay…? This is good, this can be good for the both of us. I can help you; we can help each other, baby.” A silent tear rolls down your cheek from the fear of what’s to come. “I know…I know I messed up, alright? I know. But, you don’t have to be scared, baby. It’s all gonna be okay.” He brushes a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

“Please…I just wanna go home, let me go home!” Your cries are ugly, and very, very real. The fear in your voice only worries him. Worries him that you may never get past this. But you have to. You don’t have another option. And he really, really doesn’t want to have to hurt you. That was never his intention. 

“But you are home, baby. You are home.” He mutters as his fingers brush over your cheeks, smearing your tears. Your breath hitches at his words and your eyes slowly move up to meet his. This cannot be happening. Why is this happening? You think.

“No…please I…just let me go home. I won’t tell. I promise I won’t. I’ll…I’ll never tell anyone about any of this okay, I’ll never say anything about you.”

“I can’t do that, baby…you know I can’t do that.”

“Why not? I swear, I’ll never ever breathe a word of this to anyone.” You say enticingly.

Rafe sits down besides you, causing the mattress to dip and make you lean towards him. He puts an arm around you and his hand lands on the back of your head, pulling it into his chest.

He leans down to speak into your ear while his hand pets over your hair as you cry into his chest. “Because I need you baby, I need you. And I need you to let me take care of you, yeah? I know…I know you’re scared, but you don’t have to be. Just trust me okay…we’re gonna be so good together baby.” He tugs at your hair, gently guiding your face to look up at him. “Just listen to me and nothing will happen, I don’t wanna have to…do anything. I just need to know that you’ll listen to what I say.” Immediately you nod, going along with what he says. He tugs on your hair harder, eliciting a gasp to fall from your lips. “Ah ah, I know you can talk. You’re a big girl, now fucking act like it.” He says forcefully.

“I-I’m gonna listen, I’ll listen to you, just please, please don’t hurt me.”

He smiles softly as his eyes dart across your face, unable to pick a feature to focus on, everything about you is just too damn perfect. “Don’t worry I won’t hurt you, not as long as you listen.” His grip loosens on your hair again. “But you’ll be begging for it soon enough.” Rafe’s whispers are enough to make your sobs start again; in which he pulls your head back into his chest. Your tears soak into his shirt as you have no choice but to cry into him.

To be continued...

Thank you for reading! I hope this was enjoyable. This part took quite a bit for me to finish, since life has been a bit busy and I haven't had much time to plan or write. I apologize for the short chapter, I'll try my best to make up for it with the next part! I never really feel done with anything and as I said before I'm not sure if I'm a fan of this part or not. So, if you have literally ANY feedback, questions, or suggestions, PLEASE feel free to let me know! I don't really have any solid plans for this fic so if you have any ideas I just might include them in future parts. And there's not much I won't write!

[todorkihoe]

Red Hot

Now, he doesn’t know what he was expecting the item to be when he decided to grab it. Perhaps he thought it was a sock or maybe a handkerchief. But what he was not expecting was a skimpy pair of lacy, fiery red panties.

pairing: gojo satoru x reader

genre: smut 18+

content warnings: panty stealing/sniffing/licking, solo (m) masturbation, unprotected sex, some embarrassment/getting caught, oral & fingering (f receiving)

word count: 3.2k

synopsis: you accidentally leave behind a pair of your underwear in the laundry room and your hot neighbor steals them

a/n:  literally like the first thing i’ve written in 3 years lmfaooo but fun fact about this fic is that it was originally a todoroki fic that had been rotting in my drafts and i found it and thought hmmm this could be repurposed. also the actual HELL i had to go through getting tumblr to work before i could post this could not be understated

You were a mess today. Truly a mess.

Now that’s not to say that you aren’t a mess every day, but today is particularly bad. You’re just thankful that you’ve managed to avoid everyone in your apartment building as you trudge down to the basement to get to the communal washers and dryers.

If anyone were to see you they’d be horrified, to say the very least. It had been too long since you’d done a load of laundry, leaving you to wear a too-small pair of shorts, an old stained t-shirt, and mismatched socks. Not to mention the haggard expression on your face from many sleepless nights of studying and working. 

So in short- you were a mess.

You once again luck out as you walk into the laundry room, delighted to see that no one is around to hear you grumble about your chores. You hum quietly as you pull the detergent and scent-boosting beads from your laundry basket and pour a bit of each in, taking a whiff of the fresh scent. Doing laundry was horrible but nice-smelling and clean clothes were not. You continue the task of transferring your dirty clothes in the washing machine until you’re so rudely interrupted by someone else entering the room.

But not just anyone of course. No, because Gojo Satoru is definitely not just anyone. 

He’s the hot neighbor you’ve had a crush on since the day he moved into the apartment across from yours, and you’re not the only one. Nearly everyone in this building has a crush on him and for good reason. He’s tall and strikingly handsome with a strong physique and voice that sends a pleasurable chill down your spine.

You’re hardly able to contain a flustered squeak when he acknowledges you with a smile before setting up at the washer next to yours. You bite your lip to keep from saying anything stupid because his presence is intoxicating and if you lean a just little to the right you’d be able to smell his cologne and-

“Y/N?”

At the sound of your name leaving his oh-so-pink lips, you blink stupidly multiple times to see him looking at you with a slight, knowing grin. Cocky bastard.

“Huh?”

“Oh, I just asked if I could borrow some of your detergent. I accidentally forgot mine up in my apartment,” he reiterates as that stupid grin remains plastered across his face. You rush out a “yes” and hand the detergent to him, unable to meet his piercing eyes after zoning out in a fantasy about him when he was standing right next to you.

You feel your face heat up in embarrassment, knowing that Gojo isn’t stupid. He’s smart enough to know when people are checking him out. The longer you stand next to him, the more you start to overthink the short interaction and the more you want to leave. So you do. You rapidly throw the rest of your clothes in and close the washer before hurrying away without saying goodbye. 

Gojo watches you practically run out of the room in surprise. He knew he flustered you, but did he do something wrong? He ponders the situation while putting his clothes in the washer and looking over at the laundry basket you left before he spots a singular red item in the white basket. Now Gojo knows that he shouldn’t look; it’s not his business if you forgot something so he definitely shouldn’t look. And it’s certainly not the gentlemanly thing to do, but it’s you and Gojo wouldn’t call himself a particular gentleman.

Now, he doesn’t know what he was expecting the item to be when he decided to grab it. Perhaps he thought it was a sock or maybe a handkerchief. But what he was not expecting was a skimpy pair of lacy, fiery red panties. 

His eyes widen in pleased surprise at this unknown side of you and he can’t help the flush of blood to his face and other places. He curls his fist around the fabric as images of you wearing nothing but the underwear flood his mind and he fails to fight the tightening of his pants.

Gojo snaps out of it quickly, realizing he’s standing in the very communal laundry room holding your panties. What should he do with them? There was no way he was going to chase after you while holding your underwear, he couldn’t open your washer and put them in because the cycle had already started, and he couldn’t put them back because when you came back down you’d certainly know that he’d seen them. What was he to do?

Gojo made his decision and turned back to his washer to put the rest of his clothes in before leaving. 

With your panties in his pocket. 

He quickly makes his way to the elevator, thankful that he hadn't run into anyone while sporting an impressively large bulge in his jeans. He steps into the elevator and presses the number of your shared floor before backing up against the wall. Riddled with only mild guilt and overwhelming lust, Gojo lets out a long sigh before the image of you under him once again appears and he slides his hand into his pocket, rubbing the thin lace of your panties between two slender fingers.

When the elevator doors finally open, he quickly walks out and pauses in front of the door to your apartment for a moment, picturing what you might be doing. Picturing what you might look like in… He then walks over to his own door and unlocks it with shaky hands before stepping in and locking it immediately.

His fingers drift into his pocket and he pulls the panties out to look down at them. God this felt so dirty, stealing his neighbor's underwear and getting hard with them in his hand. Gojo knows he should probably feel guilty but at this point he doesn’t care, bringing his hand with the panties down to his clothed crotch and grinding against it with an airy groan. His head falls back against the door with a quiet thud as he continues to palm himself through his jeans.

Gojo imagines you beneath him, wearing only the red panties, calling his name, and begging in your sweet voice for him to touch you. He lets out another quiet groan at the thought of you and makes his way to sit down on his bed. He pulls his shirt over his head, imagining it was your hands stripping him of his clothes. Without thinking, he brings the panties up to his nose and inhales your scent deeply while using his other hand to rub the bulge in his pants.

As his tongue pokes through his lips in an attempt to taste your juices on the fabric, his hand desperately fumbles with his zipper to free his aching cock. He lets out a low moan as he wraps his hand around his long shaft, slowly rubbing his thumb over the leaking tip and gasping out your name.

“Fuck Y/N-” he moans out as he starts to slowly slide his hand up and down his length. His whole body felt hot at the idea of you. As his desperation builds, so does the pace of his hand, becoming tighter and more erratic as an uncontrollable slew of words falls from his mouth.

“Dirty girl…probably left these for me to find,” he groans through clenched teeth. “Wanted me to picture-f-fuck-picture what you’d look like with your legs spread for me u-ugh,”. He brings your panties down from his face to wrap the fabric around his cock, furiously bucking his hips. Seconds later, with a strangled groan, he spills into his fist and all over your delicate lace. 

Satoru looks down at his mess and sighs heavily, laying back in bed and filled with a lust-addled determination to get you in here with him.

Later the next day, when Satoru takes the elevator down to the lobby to retrieve some mail, he spots you unlocking your mailbox and strides over. Upon feeling someone enter your space, you look up and are shocked at the sight of Gojo staring straight at you.

“Gonna run off again, neighbor?”

You sputter out some pathetic non-answer and he only chuckles at you while unlocking his own mailbox, right next to yours. In the past few months that you and Gojo have been neighbors, you’ve rarely spoken or gotten to know one another. As if reading your mind, he asks, “Would you like to come up for coffee? If you’re not busy, that is,” as he grabs a few letters from his mailbox.

You can feel the heat rise to your face and can’t help the look of surprise. You mean to say “yes” or nod but without thinking, simply ask “Why?” giving Gojo a look of surprise as well. You swear you see a tinge of pink on his cheeks as he chuckles and rubs the back of his neck. “Dunno…thought you might like to share a drink. If not, that’s fine-”

“No! Sorry no, I mean I’d really like that, yeah,” you respond a bit sheepishly. He smiles at you and extends his arm, gesturing to the elevator, letting you enter first. He follows in as you press the button to your shared floor, shifting from foot to foot a little awkwardly in the silence. Neither of you says anything as the elevator reaches your floor and you continue in silence, following Gojo to his apartment right across from yours.

Sometime later, after the both of you spent a copious amount of time trying to figure out Gojo’s fancy coffee machine that he had apparently never used, you’re both sat in his living room engaging in light conversation. He seemed to be very interested in your life, asking about your work, education, and hobbies rather than talking about himself. The attention focused solely on you was intense but welcomed, and you were glad that the awkwardness from earlier was gone.

Upon laughing at some stupid joke Gojo made, you spill a bit of your drink on your hands and shirt. “Oh, jeez, would you mind if I used your bathroom real quick?

“Oh yeah, of course. I’m assuming our layouts are the same so you know where it is?”

“Down that hall, right?” you ask, and when he nods in confirmation, you walk in that direction. It appears that your respective apartments were built the same way so you turn right at the end of the hall, thinking it’ll be the bathroom. Wrong. You’ve now accidentally entered Gojo’s bedroom, but before you turn on your heel to go left instead, something that’s bright red in color catches your eye from his nightstand.

You can’t tell what it is from here, but it does look vaguely familiar and you know you should absolutely not snoop in his apartment. You’re a guest and sneaking into his bedroom is just about the most invasive thing you could do but you can’t help yourself from tip-toeing in. When you reach his nightstand, your subconscious suspicion is confirmed: there is, in fact, a very scandalous pair of your underwear sitting on your neighbor's nightstand sporting very curious stains.

You stand in shock for a moment, deliberating your next move. Pretending you never saw this and turning around to go to the bathroom was an option. But the knowledge of this scene would certainly eat away at you in more ways than one. The other option is to confront him about this, and without even really weighing the pros and cons, you hook one finger around your underwear to lift them and walk back into the living room.

“Did you find the bathroo–Oh..” Gojo’s voice trails off weakly when he sees the item in your hand. His mouth gapes open and closed like a fish and a deep crimson begins to paint his cheeks as he struggles to find anything to say. You stand silently and expectantly, warmth bleeding into your face in a similar fashion.

A few more tense moments pass before he attempts to clear his throat and explain. “When we were in the laundry room the other day, you…you left them and I..took them and then-” his voice begins to crack in embarrassment at the end of the statement, the reality of what exactly he’d done with your panties hanging in the air.

His gaze is almost pained as it drops back to the floor, fearing your disgust. But, you don’t feel disgusted, rather you feel quite flattered, and it emboldens you to take a step forward, voice dropping to a lull.

“Y’know..these are my favorite pair and you ruined them.” Gojo flinches and opens his mouth but you cut him off with a seductive whisper, “I think you should make it up to me.”

He lifts his head quickly in surprise, assessing your demeanor closely before a dangerous glint appears in his eyes. “Yeah?” he asks throatily. You answer with a nod, not trusting your voice to be strong enough. He tilts his head, considering you for a moment, and before you can react, he’s stepping forward and his lips are crashing against yours. 

You respond with a fervent kiss back, arms wrapping around his neck as he walks you back against the nearest wall. He groans against your lips while his hands busy themselves with touching you anywhere possible, gripping your hips and sliding up your shirt to paw at your chest. You squeal as he lifts you up to carry you to his bed, lips never parting from yours while your panties lay forgotten on the floor.

He sits back down on the mattress, holding you in his lap as you grind your hips down on his prominent bulge. He lifts your shirt over your head and begins attacking your neck and chest with kisses. “Gojo,” you sigh breathily, threading your fingers through his hair. “Satoru,” he responds, whining when you echo him and remove his shirt to satiate your own desires.

All flushed and pretty he pulls back to ask, “Can I touch you, sweetheart?” and lays you back in the covers as soon as you nod rapidly. 

Your pants are gone in seconds and Satoru pauses to admire the sight of you finally in his bed. You, however, grow impatient quickly and yank his hair, pulling a needy whine from his kiss-swollen lips. “Thought you were gonna make it up to me?” you pout, causing a wolfish grin to spread across his face. 

“Oh, I’ll do more than that.” And then he’s leaning down and pulling your panties to the side with his teeth before diving in. With the way he moans against you, you might think he was enjoying this more than you, tongue laving over every inch of you, flicking your clit, and pushing into you.

“Satoruuu..” you whine, encouraging him to bring his fingers up to rub against your dripping entrance. 

“Fuck say my name again, baby.” You comply with another long moan when he rewards you with his fingers, tongue never moving from your clit.

“I’ll admit…” he begins idly, “You’re so much fucking prettier than I imagined. Fucking gorgeous.” Your cheeks burn and your hands fist the sheets tightly as his palm grinds against your clit, long fingers pumping into you and stretching you out. Satoru has to hold your hips down as you cum with a high-pitched squeal, his own hips pathetically humping the mattress below him.

While you lay panting and recovering from your high, Satoru fumbles to push his pants and boxers down, exposing his aching cock to you. Long, thick, and painfully hard. You can practically see his cock pulsing for you as a little bead of pre-cum leaks down the side of him. Entranced, you reach forward and brush your fingers over the leaking tip, causing him to hiss through his teeth. Looking up at him with wide, lustful eyes, you grin, “Will you fuck me now, Satoru?”

His head drops back and his cock twitches at your words before he’s climbing over you and spreading your legs wide to make room. “You don’t even have to ask, baby..”

You moan as he slides his cock up and down your cunt, coating himself with your slick. Satoru flicks the hair out of his eyes to get the best view as he just barely pushes the tip in, watching how your lips part for him.

You both dig your nails into each other when he finally slides all the way in like that’s where he was meant to be all along. Satoru wastes no time in setting a fast, hard pace that hits the most sensitive parts of you every time he sinks back in. The noises shared between you, the moans, the whines, the wet squelch of your pussy every time you suck him back in..it all makes you feel like you're on fire

“Wanted to-f-fuck-wanted to do this for sooo long, sweetheart,” he moans against your ear, punctuating each word with a deep thrust. Each sloppy drive of his cock into you pushes you up the bed until he wraps his arms around you and drags you down onto him like his own personal toy.

You can’t even think straight with everything he’s doing, it’s all so much. The weight of him on top of you, the force of his hips pressing into yours, the sound of his voice in your ear-all of it just drives you closer and closer to the edge, clenching around his length. You dig your nails deeper into the corded muscle of his back and guturally moan, “T-Toru..g’na cum! Need to-”

“Y-yeah let me feel it,” he croons in your ear and reaches down between you to rub frantic circles over your clit, voice pitching to a near whine when he feels you finally gush around his cock. You shake violently against him, hips bucking up uncontrollably. Your orgasm triggers his and he lets out a drawn-out moan, hips slowing as his cum floods into you and mixes with your own juices.

“That’s it-fuck..take it all, pretty girl,” he moans, continuing to grind his cum deeper into you before collapsing down on top of you. He presses breathless kisses to your neck and shoulder while you run your hands through his damp hair, the both of you sighing contentedly.

Satoru pulls back just enough to grin stupidly at you, “Did I make it up to you?” You only groan and playfully push his face away with a laugh.

Later, when you’re relaxed in bed and tucked into the crook of Satoru’s neck, you giggle.

“Oh, Satoru?”

“Yeah?”

“You owe me a new pair of panties.”

a/n: pretty please alert me to any spelling/grammar errors and I luv him :3

[tonyboneysblog]

MOTHER HEN: PART NINE

parings: hawks x mother!reader

wordcount: 2.8k

notes: IF TUMBLR KEEPS PLAYIN WITH THESE MENTIONS IM GOJNB TK LOZE IT AHHHHH- also I missed you cuties🥴

warnings: none!

summary: you, the mother of Fumikage Tokoyami, are just a simple nurse! Who caught the eye of a certain pro.

Truthfully, hawks was having an amazing day.

He could feel the peep in his step, and when he woke up he almost thought some upbeat pep song start playing because he felt like he was in a damn movie.

He almost skips over to Mirko when he sees her, big smile on his face.

Mirko looks over at him skeptically, “what’s got you in such a good mood?”

Hawks hums, “oh nothing, I was only kissed by a beautiful maiden last night around…I don’t know 12:47?”

Mirko smile suddenly drops as she looks towards hawks slowly.

Then she suddenly catches him in the most disgustingly tight hug, “you dirty dog- why didn’t you tell me immediately?!”

“It was spur of the moment?”

Mirko squeezes tighter, “I know for a fact you didn’t make the first move.”

Hawks chuckles and try’s to raise his hand in surrender.

“You know me, full of surprises”

Mirko drops his, “Alright since you won’t tell me the truth I’m going to his you terrible news”

Hawks raises his brows in curiosity, “and that is?”

Mirko sighs, “HPSC decided to call me since you apparently been AWOL all night…”

Hawks rolls his eyes, “what do they want with you, you don’t even work for them.”

“They wanted me to tell you that they needed your excellence immediately- something important apparently.” Mirko crossed her arms looking away from hawks.

Hawks hums, Mirko seems to be in deep thought but he doubts it about the “important” business that the HPSC wants with him.

Mirko pats hawks back, “you sure it was just a kiss last night, birdie?”

Hawks whips his head towards her, “w-what?! Of course I’m sure!”

“I mean- gone all night?” Mirko giggles- “was she really that-“

Hawks cuts Mirko off, “Stop talking.”

It’s not hawks fault he decided to have a good night sleep with his phone turned off.

And maybe on a different day then events would honestly even more romantic than you made.

But your son was also literally attacked by villains- hawks wouldn’t go all, “come on baby” after that.

Speaking of you and Fumikage, the two of your were in the same spot as yesterday.

U.A. had cancelled school for the week after the kids got attacked- even if they didn’t cancel you still wouldn’t allow Fumikage to go back.

You couldn’t tell if Fumikage was okay or messed up in the head. You’d assume they’d go over some type of mental check before they let Fumikage go frolic with hawks somewhere but it also U.A.

Sure it’s the best hero school- but maybe you should’ve made Fumikage go to Shiketesu instead.

Shiketesu kids don’t get attacked by villains almost everyday.

Fumikage was still sleeping next to you when you woke up on the couch, you were slowly hit with all the memories that happened the night before.

like kissing a pro hero.

moment of weakness? perchance.

You check your messages yet they aren’t any from him, he’s probably working anyways.

You called off for at least two days so you were able to keep an eye on Fumikage so you really don’t have an excuse to ignore a text from hawks if he sends one.

Well you’re a grown woman, face your “mistakes” Y/N!

pretty lady

good morning.

maybe it wasn’t a good idea to text hawks on the job- you don’t wanna distract-

bird boy

MORNING Y/N

we’ll nevermind.

pretty lady

so about last night, I’m

sorry for yknow.

bird boy

kissing me?

bird boy

do it again.

bird boy

wait

bird boy

shit how do I unsend messages

you start to giggle, well at least he doesn’t regret it? thought he doesn’t know how to use iMessage.

pretty lady

haha. It okay keep it there

bird boy

yes ma’am

bird boy

I’m abt to be in some meeting. ttyl?

pretty lady

what?

bird boy

ttyl?

bird boy

sorry forgot you were a fossil

not funny, not even Fumikage calls you a fossil.

Aside from spending more time with Fumikage, your day has been quite boring.

and technically you haven’t been spending time with Fumikage because he’s been asleep the whole time.

Your heart aches with worry, Fumikage never really told you about the events yesterday- just that shadow took control.

You didn’t watch too much either, nor call U.A. Because you could already tell the media was ripping them apart just from looking at your timeline.

you know deep down that Fumikage will return to U.A. no matter how worried or how much you hate it. It is his dream school, he worked hard to get in.

You feel as if there’s something deeper affecting Fumikage- deep down in your bones.

And yeah maybe you’re slightly worried for the boy who was kidnapped.

Yeah, no way U.A. is surviving this.

But all you could really do now is focus on Fumikage and his feelings.

the following days were calm, hawks texted you at night mostly about random things or just his small thoughts.

One time he’s asked you if the moon were a rock or planet, he said he got in an argument with Mirko about it.

sadly he didn’t win it.

Fumikage was lounging on the couch, he would be out training but you begged him to rest.

even better news is that the boy who got kidnapped was found, saw the whole thing on the news too.

All might fought the big bad, and he won.

You never had the best opinion on All might but it’s also the number one hero so you can hate him too much.

You personally like best jeanist the most but you’d never tell poor hawks that.

Fumikage suddenly jumps when there’s a knock of the door, you pat his head in an attempt to console him then go to answer the door.

Imagine your surprise when you see the former number one and Fumikages homeroom teacher standing there.

All might smiles slightly, “Evening Ms. Tokoyami.”

you send a smile back, “evening, what bring you two here?”

All Might fiddles with a loose stand on his arm sling, “we came to discuss a matter with you, about Fumikage.”

“Please, come in then.” You open the door more to allow them into your home.

Fumikage perks up at seeing his teacher, “Mr. Aizawa?”

It was weird to see his homeroom teacher look so…clean?

All might and Aizawa sit on the couch infront of you a Fumikage.

“So, what is it that you need to speak about?” You say calmly.

Aizawa speaks up first, explaining on how they wanted to put the hero course students into dorms as some type of better protection.

it made your blood boil.

“So, will you allow Fumikage to-“

“No, I will not.” You reply curtly.

You can hear All Might whisper a small, “well that’s a first.” to Aizawa.

The silence is akward to say the least.

Alll scratches the back of his head, “is there a specific reason?”

“Would you like me to say it allowed, or put it in an email.”

“Preferably aloud?”

You breathe in deeply, “I don’t even know if I want my son in your school anymore. You’ve destroyed all my trust in this school- and if you think your protecting the students then your just plan wrong because the villains have infiltrated the school not once, but twice. Honestly I can’t even comprehend other parents agreeing to this.”

Fumikage messes with his hands anxiously, slightly embarrassed.

“Ma’am, we understand-“

You cut him off, “I seriously doubt that you under my perspective, you’re not a woman nor are you a parent- let only a parent on your own.”

Again the room falls into a tense silence.

until Fumikage speaks up, quietly.

“I think I would enjoy the dorms…”

You look over to Fumikage, surprise evident on your face.

Fumikage doesn’t look at you, “and I like U.A. too- all my friends are there.”

“Alright, then you can go.” You stay with a small smile directed at Fumikage.

“W-what? But you said-“

You grab Fumikages hand softly, “I can’t control what you want or what you do Fumikage. I’m not gonna force you stay here, you are your own person Fumi.”

All might sighs in relief, until you start talking again.

“But I’m not gonna retract anything I said, your school sucks in my opinion.” You sigh.

All might chuckles, “understood.”

You stand up and open the door for them, signifying that you wouldn’t really like them there anymore.

“Have a good rest of your day, Ms. Tokoyami.” Aizawa says as they leave.

When you shut the door you could almost hear all might a Aizawa sighing, almost like they just encountered a near death experience.

Maybe you could’ve been slightly kinder?

No, no, they deserved it.

Suddenly your phone dings with a text, from hawks more specifically.

bird boy

could I come over?

pretty lady

sure, something wrong?

He never replied though, hawks doesn’t actually ever ask to come over though.

Fumikage and hawks seems to be on alright terms as well, you noticed they both got the same drink when hawks dropped him off.

maybe they’re bonding?

Fumikage starts to tug at your shirt, something he never grew out of, holding his phone to you.

It was open to a text thread, someone named shoji.

“Can I go hang out with him?”

You hum, “yes- but come home early, you know I worry more cause of these villains.”

Fumikage pecks your cheek then runs out the house quickly.

well he’s sure excited to hang out with someone.

About ten minutes after you hear hawks knocking at your door, and when you open he looks…tired? exhausted?

“Hey mama bird.” His voice calls tiredly.

You usher him in and close the door, “everything okay?”

Hawks melts into the couch with sigh, “yeah, just a rough day- where’s Fumikage?”

You sit next to him, “He went out with a friend, did you wanna see him?”

“Nah, better he isn’t.” He chuckles softly.

Should you be worried about that?

You rest your head onto the back of the couch, looking at hawks.

“Why’s that?”

“cause I wanted to see just you.” He closes his eyes, he look tireder by the minute.

You giggle, “You can’t see me, your eyes are closed.”

“Close enough.”

You admire hawks features softly, you notice small bumps and nicks in his skin which are always edited out in the magazine.

Your eyes linger on the small marks near his eyes, you’ve always wondered if it were makeup.

So you check.

Your thumb runs over the marks, making hawks eyes squint softly before opening them.

“What’re you doing?”, He says with a mischievous manner.

“Just checking if they’re real.”

“Did I disappoint?”

you smile fondly, “no, never.”

Hawks analyzes every detail your face holds, every mark.

His smile fades, his eyes look heavy.

He grabs your wrist softly, moving them away from his face.

He looks at you as if you hung the stars.

He leans in, you can feel his breath ghost over your lips.

He hands ,which were ungloved prior, intertwine with your as he leans in.

His lips capture your own, his slightly chapped most likely due to always being in the sky.

He leans in farther, like he needs your kiss to breath, to live.

He needs the comfort of your lips to feel better, he needs to remember the taste, the feel, the smell of you.

The way your lips perfectly mold together like clay.

He feels like he’s flying, no cares in the world expect for you.

Hawks can feel your warm hands slip near his torso, his stomach flutters with butterflies.

You hold onto him, lovingly.

hawks places his free hand into your hair, pushing you closer to his lips.

You can hear a small coo coming from hawks, wonder if he chirps.

He loves the sensation, the feeling you give him.

He wants to stay in your warmth forever, he doesn’t wanna go back to the HPSC, he doesn’t want to do this new mission,

He doesn’t want to sneak into the league.

he just wants you.

Hawks hold you closer, like you’ll disappear until you have to come up for air.

The two of you breathe heavily, slowly coming back down from your little kissing high.

“date me.” He says breathlessly.

You cup his face with your hand, “y-

“What the fuck.”

You and hawks looks towards to door quickly.

“is that the number three hero..?”

only to find your poor son Fumikage and another boy.

mortifying is the only way to describe this situation.

Fumikage turns around to the boy, covering his eyes in what seems to be disappoint.

In return, hawks covers his eyes and retreats into you, covering himself with his wings.

You start laughing, so hard that you can feel your very own six pack growing in.

The boy, which you assume is shoji, starts laughing with you, “hey Fumikage, I didn’t know your stepdad was the number three.”

You laugh even harder, while hawks and Fumikage retreat further.

Later, when the embarrassment and laughter cleared, the four of you sat down at the dining table.

“I didn’t think you’d come home so early Fumi?”

shoji looks at Fumikage, “Fumi?”

“Well mother. I had to come back because I forgot my wallet- I did t know I’d come back and see some…some- some harlot sucking face with my mom!” Fumikages voice grows in pitch with each word.

Hawks gasps, “h-harlot?! And it wasn’t sucking face we didn’t even use tongue!”

Suddenly the table erupts as you sit back and watch.

“Disgusting- you’re illiterate and you can’t keep your hands off my mother!”

“I thought we were bonding Fumikage- remember when you gave me that drink?”

Fumikage shrieks, “I SHOULD’VE LET YOU DIE OF DEHYDRATION.”

“I wasn’t even on the brink of dehydration?!” Hawks says confused.

The small spat continues as you look over towards shoji with an apologetic face.

It was the first time this kid met you and he saw you on a quite personal time…

Shoji throws you a small thumbs up, great kid already.

You can almost hear Fumikage start cawing at hawks.

You try to break up the fight, “Alright— calm down…”

Fumikage sits down and crosses his arms as hawks deflates back into the chair.

“Fumikage..I apologize for kissing on the couch…I’ll take it to my room next time.”

Fumikage squawks, “mom!”

You can see hawks ears go red, his wings puffing.

Fumikage points at him accusatorially, “I know what you’re thinking you…you- you womanizer!”

Hawks gasps dramatically, “I-I’m no womanizer- I happen to like your momma!”

“Point at him too dark shadow!” Dark shadow comes out chanting “womanizer” while pointing at hawks.

Shoji decides to join in as-well…and maybe you too.

hawks sighs in defeat, Fumikage cheers victoriously with shadow.

You expect him to start jumping up and down with shadow as well.

“Shoji- remove the criminal from my home!”

Shoji chuckles, “not doing that..”

You stand up and lead hawks out of the house, you can hear Fumikage and Shoji laughing.

Hawks sits down on the stairs, you sit with.

Hawks sighs, “Not a womanizer.”

You giggle softly, patting his head.

Hawks stays quiet for a minutes wu til speaking up, “so, what’s your answer?”

“To what?”

His ears turn pink, “…d-dating me.”

“I’m surprised that’s even a question.”

“Is that a yes?”

You nod softly, smiling at hawks.

Hawks smiles with you, “can I kiss you again?”

“I’m afraid you won’t be able to stop.”

Hawks wraps his arms around you, “maybe, is that such a problem?”

“Maybe?”

Hawks leans in to kiss you softly, but you pull away.

“Why were you so upset when you came over?” You say while starting to rub soft circles on his hips.

“Not upset anymore.”

You sigh, “You don’t wanna tell me?”

“It’s not that…I just can’t tell you.” Hawks rests his head on your shoulder.

“Jus’ stressed out.”

You crane your head to kiss his temple, “would you like to spend the night?”

Hawks lets out a small laugh, “Fumikage wouldn’t like that.”

“He’ll get over it.” You push away from hawks slowly.

He laughs and follows you in the house, you point towards your bedroom then leave hawks to see Fumikage.

Hawks wanders into your room, it’s nice he thinks.

He removes most of his hero clothes until he realizes he doesn’t have another pair.

You won’t mind if he stole some of your wardrobe, right?

After done telling Fumikage goodnight, who was about to leave to walk Shoji home, you walk into your room to find hawks in your clothes.

how cute?

You make your way to the bed, welcoming its new found comfort.

Hawks seems to be sleeping until he snuggles into your neck, wrapping his arms and wings around you.

Looks like you won’t need a blanket at least?

hawks tries to sleep quickly, big day tomorrow.

infiltrating and gathering information on the league.

he hopes to god you don’t get hurt somehow.

would you be mad at what he’s doing? Or would you clean the blood of his hands.

would you spit on his face or kiss him until he couldn’t breath.

he’s scared for the answer.

Yet he continues to fall farther into you.

TAGLIST!💕

@lost-in-horrorland @boopjuice @validveenus @qardasngan @arminsarlerts @star-the-rabid-dog @bunni-teeth81 @lightsgore @portgasdbruh @camejlo-35 @marsbars09 @tharae514 @yoongiwantsme @kimahrii @pink-jello-fish @l1vvvvv @miy-svz @bumblebeebutter @lacunaanonymoused @emmmeoo

[katalyist]

Life series!Grian a survivor not a traitor

Alternative title: I thought about Life series!Grian for too long again and because Tumblr doesn't have a character limit I'm putting my thoughts on the Internet.

I'm not normal in how while watching Cleo's secret life final episode there was a silent agreement that Grian was no loyal when they had that conversation with Scott when they were trying to convince Gem to be on their side.

"I mean, don't ask about Grian's loyalty"

And Scott response was "I have never seen a man drop a pair of sunglasses quicker in my life. As soon as Joel dropped, the bad boy glasses were off"

To which Grian responded "My boys died, what did you want from me?"

Like how is Grian seen has someone that betrays or isn't loyal to his teammates? HE IS LOYAL, HE IS JUST TOO COWARD. He has never betray a teammate first.

Look, for example to third life: He promised Scar his life, and altough he warns the rest of players at the beginning about the scams Scar was doing, he always do what Scar did, he helped him, he create traps and didn't thought on betraying him until Scar betray him first, until Scar did it, when he recovered he was so mad and just jump to them shouting out that Scar was a traitor. AND THEN when Scar apologies and offers Grian to have the win he refuses because he still considers Scar his ally, and then the cactus ring happens and he feels bad, he feels bad for killing Scar, I don't think a traitor would be that bad to the point of killing themselves

Then in last life, where he killed two of his four teammates and started his reputation as "allies killer". First of all, when he turned red he had the oppurtinity to just turn on them, sure, he went back to the nether and threat Mumbo, but it was mostly joking and I think the most messed up thing was how afraid he was of not having any teammates that he was willed his best friend but couldn't find the courage on himself. The next episode he has already a plan to go back with his team AND get Joel out of red, like- he planned a way to be back with his allies and get his new ally (that if I had to remember you, was the one that killed him, but Grian was perfectly with him because he understands it was for the red impulses) out of red. Once he gets his yellow life back and goes back to the southlanders for a happy teammate reunion and discovers Jimmy was exiled he doesn't hesitate in saying he doesn't want him back because he betrayed the southlands; they have the votation, he says 'no' inmediatly and is surprised that other people said yes but doesn't oppose to it.

When Mumbo and Jimmy turned red he didn't try to kill them until their few attempts of murder, he did not attack Mumbo when he tried to end cristal him, he didn't attack them, even when they had that terrible attempt of a trap for him and Martyn. He attacked them when Jimmy physically tries to punch him to the trap that he looses the little patient he had left and kills him and then Mumbo for trying to stop him. Then Martyn betrayed him because of the boogeyman curse and when Grian finds Impulse he sounds so wounded because of that but even then he doesn't try to go for him, he makes a plan with Impulse to put a Wither on the base of team B.E.A.S.T because they were one of the biggest threats. Once Impulse died he was back with Joel and he didn't betray or left him, even when he had the opportunity to join bigger alliances than him.

With that out of the way we arrive to the fatal Double Life, I feel that this is the catalyst of Grian's character misinterpretation, mostly because of the cheat situation but: 1, that him and Scar and soulmates doesn't mean they are allies (see the two pair of soulmates that were literally divorce) and 2, he really tried to protect Scar and be a good ally. He made a base, he warned Scar to not go to places he could die and he even trust him with the sugar cane, when he lost it he trust Scar the sand he isn't even that angry or dissapointed on him. It also applies to BigB, he was a great ally with him too! He gave him sugarcane, cookies, tnt, they didn't attack eachother and the only reason why he killed him was because he forgot BigB was soulmates with Ren in his red madness, he even had a funeral for him and apologise for killing him. That is not traitor behaviour if you ask me.

And then finally Limited Life (my excuse and the real season I wanted to talk because I haven't left that bread bridge), the season where Grian is in his most loyal teammate arc of all. He is a coward of course, he plays safe always, in every single season, and that is what ends up being one of the reasons why Joel ends up dead. The bad boys were too reckless and idiots (in an affectionate way, I love them) for him to not fear for their lives constantly, and yes they almost felt apart, but that was after Jimmy killed Grian. Grian left Jimmy get the kills, they were trying to save him, when Tango (the boogeyman) killed Jimmy he didn't took the two hours from him because that would had permakill him, at the end Jimmy didn't die because of him, he just slip from the platform. They had the funeral and all, he left diamonds at his grave as an offer.

With Joel it is a little different, Grian didn't betray him, he didn't kill him, but he wasn't there because he was afraid of dying, in the middle episode 7 Joel wants to murder the family because they wanted to kill Jimmy "It wasn't their fault he died" trying to persude him to not do that to which Joel answers "I'm gonna send Scar a message" and Grian almost begs "No Joel, you got to be careful or I'm gonna be alone. I'm gonna be a singular bad boy" but he doesn't follow him, he doesn't go to kill people with him because they don't have a plan and it's obvious they will die.

Grian is a survivor, when he notices things are getting ugly he looks for a way out. When Joel goes on his murderous rampage after they talk to BigB he reunite again with him and Pearl to offer himself as a ally, making a list of all the things he is useful for, selling himself because he knows he will be alone at the end of that episode and alone players are easy targets. At first he wants them to become bad boys, he doesn't want to leave the mark, but they refused, and a survivor has to do what they have to do. He isn't even hiding why he wants to be friends with them and they don't have a problem with that.

"I have already kind of accepted he's gonna die in a way" he says while making a trap for the nosy neighbours while watching how Joel died (again)

"I mean, you completely abandon him at this point" Pearl points out (and if I watched Pearl more I could talk about how Life Series Pearl seems to have really trust issues with people that is so confident in leaving allies behind because she keeps repeating how Grian is not with Joel, she is so 'I will die for you', and it was prove in the final of secret life, I love her so much).

And Grian doesn't deny it, he does try to excuse his behavior with a "Joel reaches a point where he just loses his mind completely and he was way past that a while ago. Jimmy's death has kind of got an adverse affect on him" just to be silent a second, finish placing the TNT cards and going "But I will have to go and see if he is okay in a minute"

He cares about his last truly ally even when he knows Joel will die, Grian can't just stand still and wait for it to happen "I'm gonna have to go and see if Joel is okay. He must be on less than an hour and if I don't say bye, I'm gonna regret it"

And once he is with Joel again he doesn't hide that he has allied with the nosy neighbours from him. It is the first thing he tells him actually "I've just been like making new friends because you have lost your mind". That is not betray behavior, that is not 'I'm gonna back stab you' or 'I'm leaving you now'. And Joel gets it, he gets that Grian is too coward to confront people directly, that he is not a pvper and accepts him like that. And then they have this conversation on Skynet while trying to get kills for Joel:

"Yeah, do you know what would be really funny? If I just knocked you off right now but I won't, I won't, I won't do that"

"I would do that for you. I would do that for you. Bad boys for life"

HOW IS THAT NOT LOYALTY? Grian, the one that is afraid of death, willing to die for his ally? Without hesitation answering that yes, he would do that for Joel. We have the hole "Kill me Joel. KILL ME" dialogue and scene after that even. Grian didn't wanted Joel to died, when he has five minutes Grian tries to tell him to kill him again before Joel denies. When they are going to see who Joel can kill is when he starts hesitating because he would lose two hole hours to get Joel back to just one hour, he is balancing saving his allies with keeping himself alive and at the end Joel's rampage ends up killing him and Grian is without his bad boy.

He enters in full survivor mode and downplays Joel's death in front of everybody but contradicting his discourse of 'It was getting expensive to keep him alive' once everyone is gone he tells Pearl and BigB they should have a funeral for Joel fully knowing they weren't his allies. He makes Joel a grave too, like they did with Jimmy and says some words for him. How could that not be loyalty? The last episode he uses the bad boy skin, all season he forgot to use it and had to be remember by the others to use it, and then he puts it even if he 'isn't a bad boy anymore' to honor his allies.

I think the most close he was to betray an ally was when at the end he enacted the sword and ally with Impulse and Etho whitouth talking it with Pearl and it ending with both Etho and Pearl killing eachother to be in peace. When they first met after Grian enactes the sword and Pearl goes to kill he tries to stop her, but he doesn't defend her (or Etho), he just tells them to stop. Grian character just... always leaves his allies do what they want? even if it is not the best for them, it is something he does with every one of his alliance really, he does his own and they do his own, Cleo actually points it out on their last episode while they are talking to the heart fundation and Grian gets bored and goes to do his plan to get Gem and Cleo is like 'yeah, he does his own things, don't pay attention to him'.

In Secret Life he was also truly loyal to the roomates, in part I think because he was afraid of loosing his only oportunitty to get some friends after three episodes of loneliness. Grian is always so desesperate to make allies every season, make people like him because it would mean someone would fight for him. The rommates is a very solid team and he reassures himself and they how he made the correct decision. They are not as attach as he was with his bad boys (that, talking about them, he had this weird no-alliance with Joel, changing hearts and not really attacking eachother until the very end) but it is stable.

Grian includes them in his plans, if they are not on board he respects it, but when he thinks it is something that can protect them he insists. He insists they should go to Joel's platform where he hide from the zombie apocalypse because it is the easiest to defend and they were chase by the people with more health on the server. When Etho died they took it seriously, when they are scaping he goes first through the portal that belongs to Gem, Impulse and Scott because "No point both of us dying" he could have left Cleo go first to be more safe but he didn't, he tries to make a trap to get Gem and the Scotts and he tells Cleo to back off because they would get hurt if they stay to close because he will manually activate it.

My conclusion? Grian is not a traitor, he has never betray his teammates until they cross the line first. He is a bad teammate? Oh, totally, not because he won't provide his allies with supplies or plans but because the moment it becomes dangerous, too risky for his constant safe plays he distants himself because he doesn't like risky plays, he is an expert in the 'long game' even if he won't win anything with it, he also has some kind of honor (if you want to put it that way) he won't attack the weakest unless he is corner to do it to keep himself alive, he always goes for the biggest alliance, the people with most hearts, the people with most potential of giving to bring them down with the rest.

As always thank you for reading how normally sane I'm about Life series Grian. Again, I write this mini kinda essays on the fly and don't check facts too much but Grian himself implying he is not loyal had me "are you sure about that?" and then this was write on my drafts. Thanks for coming to my Grian talk!

[hypernova-writes]

I've been reading your fics, and I love them! I heard you wanted some long fic ideas, so a medic x reader proposal fic? I literally eat up fluff fics of these folk, even though there's a bunch everywhere.

Also, I'm really happy you can get the appreciation you deserve on tumblr! You definitely know how to write❤️.

A/n: AHHH THIS IS SO CUTTTEEEE!!!! Also thank you!! I used to write fanfic 2 years ago, but never really posted, just wrote them in my notebook like it was a little book.!

Proposal: Medic x Nurse!s/o.

“Ach! Where is it? She’s going to be back soon, where is it!

Medic was STRESSED.

First they were called for a battle last minute, ruining Medic’s plans that he had.

Then the Mercs kept calling him for stupid little insignificant injuries that could have waited!

Now here he was, looking, scrambling for the little velvet box he had bought.

“Ah! There it is!”

Medic reached his hand and pulled out the pretty pink velvet box. This was a pretty little thing that was made for another pretty little thing, his little Liebling, soon to be his kleine Frau.

You, Y/n. His pretty, nursing assistant turned girlfriend of 2 years now. Medic usually wouldn’t do dating, but the way you had him wrapped around your fingers. He was so in love, that even some of his fellow mercs noticed a slight change whenever you were around him.

He had overheard you chatting with Ms. Pauling, you chatted about marriage, and even settling down…with him of all people!

He remembered blushing at this conversation. Medic himself had never really dreamt of being a family man. But when he saw how you gushed about having kids and wanting to give your children a better life than you had.

Suddenly medic was ready to be a father and giddily planning your wedding behind your back.

“Now..All I have to do is ask her.”

“All you have to do is ask me what, babe?”

Medic jumped as he quickly hid the box behind his back, being started by you.

“Oh, mein Liebling! Do not do that, you scared me!”

You giggle as you sat your bag down, you had finished up your work early and came to see Medic. “Sorry~ But no serious, whatcha got there~”

Medic got flustered as you pulled him forward by his tie, you knew what you were doing to him. He could feel his cheeks warming up and he went to look away.

“A-ah..Well that is a surprise! You would have to release my tie and you will see what it is!”

You sigh and give him a peck on his nose before releasing his tie. He fixes his tie before sighing softly.

“Close your eyes for me.”

“You’re not gonna knock me out so you can surgically switch our hearts back, i got used to yours in here.”

Medic chuckles. “No, No. Don’t open them until I say so.”

You giggle and keep your eyes closed, you can hear Medic moving around, as well as him mumbling under his breath for a bit before you hear him clear his throat.

“Open them for me.”

You open your eyes and the sight before you is enough for your heart- well medics heart, to melt.

“O-oh..Ludwig..” You cover your mouth as you had to fight the tears that were going to build.

Infront of you, Medic, Your Ludwig, was on one knee, a box in his hand, opened, presenting a beautiful ring to you. You could see that his face was flushed, a small smile on his face.

“Will you do me the honor, Of becoming my wife?”

You nodded happily, and tackling him to the ground when he placed the ring on your finger. You placed so many kisses on is face, that had Medic giggling as he held you close to him.

“Oh you’ve just made me the happiest Doctor in the world~!, Not only are you my assistant, you are now mein wife!” He says as he hugs you, the two of you sit up, leaning against his cabinet.

“Mhm..and that means we should celebrate~’ You purr, by pulling at his tie. Medic blushes before smirking at you. “Oh really?..~”

Engineer was a walking with Pyro, they both had a question to ask Medic.

Pyro was walking ahead of Engineer and spotted archimedes had been placed outside of the Medbay.

Heading over to the bird, they were confused at why it was outside, and was about to open the door, but stopped, deciding to place their face to the door to listen in instead.

“O-oh fuck..~! Medic..Medic..~”

“Yes, Yes. Moan for your husband Darling.”

Pyro pulled away from the door and stood infront of Engineer.

Engineer tilts his head. “What the matta, Pyro? Is Medic not in there?”

Pyro shakes his head quickly “No” and Engineer then gives a small smile, “Well then that’s alright, Let’s go join the others, I’m sure the doc will be in soon.”

Pyro nods when he follows Engineer back to the common area.

Hope you enjoy!!!

[sicksadgames]

As the Sun Forever Sets - Terror in the time of the Telegraph

It’s nuts I’ve been working on this game for over 4 years at this point. As the Sun Forever Sets is for sure my biggest and most capital G Game. It even has a publisher and everything. It’s also my first game! Wow! It's been tough, though. We'll get into it!

Britain, 1899

As the Sun Forever Sets is a survival horror sandbox based on the War of the Worlds, utilises the Forged in the Dark ruleset, and is about ordinary people surviving a Martian invasion of Victorian era Britain. We play to find out how they rise to meet the storm of destruction, the ways in which it shapes them, and if they survive to see a new world emerge, or die amidst the rubble of the old.

In the last years of Queen Victoria’s reign, the British Empire stretches across a quarter of the globe, and under the guise of genteel progress and civilisation, it commits theft and murder on a global scale. Britain itself is on the verge of the modern era, the Second Industrial Revolution pushing people into the cities to drive the factories and forges owned by the greedy industrialist class. But beyond the common causes of humanity and unbeknownst to the men who impose their rule over it, vast wheels have begun their inexorable turning. Across 40 million miles of void, the Martian invasion hurtles Earthward. Screaming across the stars, instruments of annihilation unlike anything believed possible lie ready for assembly, alongside the Martians themselves. They are truly inscrutable beings, but their intent is as clear as it is terrible – they will suck the literal and figurative blood from the Earth, and nothing less than the complete and utter subjugation of humanity will be enough.

If this sounds cool to you... well, you gotta wait, it’s not done yet. Sorry! But you can come and hang out in the Sick Sad Games discord, where I post excerpts and occasionally organise playtests.

The Hard Times of (Old) England

Be warned, this is a long one - over 4000 words (if you don't have a Tumblr account, you won't get to the end before it starts bugging you to register one, so go read this on Medium instead.) It turns out when you work on a game for a long time, you have a lot to say about it. Strap in, grab your gin and laudanum, and let’s destroy an evil empire just by existing.

Thanks to the wonderful @hendrik-ten-napel for taking a look over my disorganised thoughts.

(Potential) Spoilers for: The Bear, The War of the Worlds, The Last of Us, Children of Men, Threads, When the Wind Blows, Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs, The Thing.

Roleplay in the Pre-Post-Apocalypse

TTRPGs love a good post apocalypse. It's understandable - gas up and ride glorious on the legally distinct fury road, run a commune of like minded weirdos in the ashes of the old world, go digging through retro-futuristic ruins to find retro-futuristic treasures. Who wouldn't want to do any of these? But As the Sun Forever Sets is about an apocalypse as it begins, not after it’s over. 

There's a lot of crossover, of course. There’s a focus on similar things - disaster and spectacle, relationships and trust, scavenging and survival. But the bonus of the world not yet being over, is that we get to roleplay out dealing with that terrible, inexorable reality.

HG Wells wrote a book about blowing up all the places he used to live, and it's a banger. I was surprised to find there wasn't a TTRPG based on the War of the Worlds, being the tantalisingly public domain ur-alien invasion story it is. As the Sun Forever Sets is very explicitly an adaption of it, to the point that before I came up with the name it almost got released as The War of the Worlds: The Roleplaying Game (lol). I'm glad I didn't, doing my own thing has meant both me and the people playing are way more free to fuck around without the expectation that it must adhere to a canon.

The book is good, strikingly modern feeling in parts, and obviously massively influential - so much science fiction can be traced back to our nameless Narrators tormentuous trek across the south of England. But Wells’ prose is typical Victorian - overly wordy and florid (any book that contains the word “ejaculating” meaning “to shout” might be difficult for readers who aren’t used to the style), so when it comes to recommending an actual adaptation, there’s only one true king. Whenever I bring up Jeff Wayne’s The War of the Worlds, the usual reaction from anyone outside of the UK is to say "... they made a what?"

My mom was very keen to get me into musicals, but nothing really stuck until she tried this, the secret best War of the Worlds adaption (sorry Steven Spielberg, but you were doomed from the start.) It's the bombast and drama you'd expect from a disaster film, the horror and pathos of Wells’ classic, all expressed through vivid narration and sick nasty prog rock - wailing guitar and crunchy 70's synths operating at full effect. It's not completely faithful to the book, it doesn't matter. It’s the best.

Ah yes, the film bro's favourite mid 2000's film. Did you see that sick oner? That’s six minutes without a cut, that means the film’s good right? Children of Men is a slow burn apocalypse, dressed up like a world that’s already ended. Plenty has been written about all the little ways the film is prescient about the state of the UK - the slow belly-crawl into facism and nationalist fervour, the particularly British decay and class divide exacerbated by the desperate times, even the willful ignorance and the explicit sense that everyone’s just given up, it’s all here.

All that thematic stuff seems like it’d be really relevant to As the Sun Forever Sets, right?

Unfortunately, we are in fact here to talk about the long takes. The unbroken moment-to-moment action scenes evoke The War of the Worlds to a tee. Theo navigates danger with the same fraught tactical tension as War of the World's Narrator - dashing between doorways, groping for an axe handle in the darkness, desperately trying to start a car as assailants sprint towards him. What’s the best way out of this situation? How do I get from here to where I need to be? He lives his life in rolling, fleeting 5 second intervals, because he’s forgotten what it means to think in the long term - about the future, and what it might hold.

I was always fascinated and terrified by the idea of nuclear war. I guess it comes from watching a lot of 90’s disaster movies, but those are often ultimately fun romps where the day gets saved at the end, or at least the main characters find themselves alive and well at the end of the saga of destruction. Instead, As the Sun Forever Sets asks you to reflect on the horror and sadness present at the end of the world. Things are going to change forever, and change is always hard.

There’s not many clips of Threads and When the Wind Blows online, so it’s a little hard to demonstrate their particular nuclear inflected pitch black darkness. They’re grim - Grave of the Fireflies grim - differing in focus but united in their horrible impact.

When the Wind Blows is a story of an elderly couple living in rural England when the bombs drop, based on the comic by Raymond Briggs. Yes, The Snowman’s Raymond Briggs made a film about 2 lovely grandparents dying of acute radiation poisoning. Jim and Hilda are completely unprepared for what’s to come, their only reference is the Blitz - terrible in its own way, but not a patch on the scale of death they’re about to experience.

They survive the blast and wait for the good old British Government to arrive to save them, as it did in the 40’s. Slowly liquifying in the nuclear fallout, they hold onto each other and keep their spirits up, eventually making the decision to clamber into the paper sacks they mistakenly believed might protect them from the blast. Clutching their medical cards and birth certificates (for the ambulance, sure to be along any minute now), Jim mumbles painfully through a final prayer that morphs into a misremembered Charge of the Light Brigade, and they slip into a perpetual slumber together.

The most tragic part is Jim and Hilda’s unshakeable faith that their government is there for them - ready to catch them when they fall - borne out of Britain’s post WW2 renewal but absent in the 1980’s of the film’s plot, and the Britain of today. It’s a masterful film, shockingly sad, but the shock is the point.

Instead of aiming for your heart, Threads aims for the head. It’s a drama that aims to be as accurate as possible to government research into what a nuclear war might look like, plainly and forensically setting it out without any thought of softening these hard facts for its audience. Rather than focusing on a personal story, Threads flits around several groups of characters - minor government figures and ordinary families. Like Jim and Hilda, they too are woefully unprepared for the end of the world, and those in charge know there’s no way the UK could ever be ready for such a thing.

As mundane life is quietly intruded upon by news updates detailing far off geopolitics and the subsequent escalation that leads to war, the tension rises subtly then suddenly, like a spacecraft on the launchpad. People we’ve seen pottering about their normal lives are maimed and evaporated in the subsequent shocking nuclear exchange, whilst stark statistics flash on the screen - the hundreds of thousands instantly killed, how long the millions more fatally irradiated have left to live, the woefully inadequate tonnage of stockpiled food to feed those who survive. Each zero hits like a gutpunch.

And when you think the film must nearly be over, it keeps going. 1 week later. 1 year later. Threads grinds to an excruciating halt 13 years after the bombs fall, after year upon year of failed harvests from a destroyed earth barely able to support a population level equivalent to medieval Britain. At one point, mute children watch a warped and scratchy VHS of classic kids educational programme Words and Pictures on a TV powered by a steam generator.

The friendly presenter spells out the word “cat” through the thick veil of static, accompanied by a picture of one - an animal the children watching will likely never see. As they watch with blank, emotionless faces, the image of the cat fades to one of its skeletal form. “A cat’s skeleton” the presenter enthusiastically intones. The unrelenting bleakness might feel like a punishment, but Threads doesn’t mean it to be. This is just what would happen, after all.

Love in the time of the Heat-ray

In fact, someone in a Reddit thread said As the Sun Forever Sets “wasn’t just endless misery” and I’m glad that comes across. I wanted there to be moments of tenderness, quiet joy, anger, frustration, love and loss to punctuate the action and the horror.

People are messy and complicated even at the best of times. Under pressure, this is amplified a thousandfold - a little crush becomes a whirlwind romance, small disagreements become full blown fights, and not fully understanding someone might transform them into an enemy in your head.

The little town Bill conspires to be left alone in ends up comparatively untouched by the horrors going on elsewhere, as untouched as anywhere can be in The Last of Us. He hated the world anyways - so he isolates himself as he prepares for it to end, and it makes sense that his life only really begins as the show does. When Frank arrives, Bill is forced not to just engage with the broader world outside of his little enclave, but in the act of truly living in it.

There’s no prepper’s guide to romance. A human heart can’t be field stripped for maintenance. By choosing to exist as a vulnerable, emotional being, Bill opens himself up to a different kind of apocalypse. Frank becomes the flowering vines that slowly crack the flat concrete wall of a world that Bill created, and when those vines die, the wall can only crumble. It’s so fraught and lovely, delicately yet absolutely gut wrenching. At least their apocalypse was one they decided to have together.

“I’m old. I’m satisfied. And you… were my purpose.” - "Long Long Time”, The Last of Us

While several of my TTRPG writing friends were gushing about how great The Bear is, Em Acosta, author of the wonderfully inspirational Exile pointed out something super interesting - a lot of the show is about how you deal with people you’ve found yourself stuck with. No matter how much they piss you off, or whatever they do wrong, there’s something that means you can’t ever let them truly exit your life. They’re there, like it or not, until the bitter end.

Turns out this is very similar to how As the Sun Forever Sets handles Player Character relationships. In both it and The Bear, nothing’s ever truly resolved between characters - every relationship is like a cooking pot perpetually simmering. You might’ve apologised, made a truce, or just ignored your issues for so long that they seem to disappear, but no matter what, you’ve got to keep your eye on that pot.

Because suddenly a crisis will hit, and someone says something, or a diceroll comes up bad and all of a sudden the pot boils over and things are once again fucked. You storm out, start screaming, throw a fork. Even in the worst case scenario where a Character leaves because they’re absolutely sick of the rest of the group, they might show up at the end of the game for one last scene. Who knows how you’ll all feel at the end - nothing is ever truly fixed, and only the dead are truly broken. 

“I quit, chef, is what’s going on. You are an excellent chef. You are also a piece of shit. This isn’t on me. Goodbye." - “The Review”, The Bear

I’ve talked about The Thing a little before, John Carpenters sweaty, paranoid antarctic masterpiece. Along with the incredible effects and the (mostly) restrained use of action and bombast, the thing that makes... The Thing work is that the staff of the stricken research base lack any and all emotional intelligence.

It’s sort of the ultimate reverse Dudes Rock movie. Nobody knows anything about each other, so when their bodies and minds are colonised by the titular chameleon from outer space, they’re just another stranger to the rest of the crew. I’d ask you a question only you would know the answer to, but uh.. I don’t know anything about you. Whoops!

Over the course of the film, the whole operation falls apart as they try their best to work together to deal with the alien interloper, but their complete lack of ability to trust or relate to each other - present even before the crisis they find themselves in - is their ultimate downfall.

That final excellent shot of MacReady and Childs sat in the snow at the end of the film as their compound burns around them is the subject of a lot of unnecessary theorycrafting youtube videos, which kind of misses the point. Each suspects the other, but ultimately it doesn’t matter if one of them’s a Thing. One stranger is the same as another. Why bother getting to know each other now?

“Well...What do we do?” “Why don't we just... wait here for a little while? See what happens.” - Childs and Macready, The Thing

Science Fiction Revenge Fantasy

I’m not a historian, but the parallels between 1899 and now are pretty plain to see. Increasing class disparity, a lack of political will to help those in need, rampant cronyism and profiteering. As long as you’re in the place for it, roleplaying in a fictionalised version of the past to air out the issues of the present can be super fun and cathartic. You’re not expected to get a degree in British history to make it work, either.

The title is a play on the phrase “The Sun Never Set on the British Empire”, and it’s plainly stated in the book that Britains Empire acted as a mechanism of genocidal oppression, and that the Martians are here to end it - intentionally or not. It’s appealing as a premise on the face of it, but it goes a little deeper. Memories of Empire echo across time in Britain like the ringing of a malevolent bell, a cause celebre for braying Tories and fascistic right wing cunts (two very close circles in the venn diagram.)

We used to be a great country before this woke nonsense. Things were better back in the old days. The DEI contingent is trying to destroy our noble past. Yada yada yada, fuck offff. I’m sure someone somewhere will accuse me of “wokewashing” the past for including explicitly trans and queer characters as part of the book, along with the historical facts around how we fit into the oppressive Victorian conception of sex and gender. Unfortunately for them, we’ve always been here.

To be a little pretentious about it, every game of As the Sun Forever Sets reaches back into the past and cuts the myth of a glorious and benevolent Empire, and the good old days enjoyed within it off at the neck, purely in the act of beginning one. That sparks a little joy for me. Destroying a racists dream is fun, even if it’s only in the abstract.

A horror game about the most literalist Victorian industrialist imaginable hearing the phrase “Eat the rich” and getting right on that. I’ve not played Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs despite fond (??) memories of playing The Dark Descent in a room full of jumpy friends, and seeing Dear Esther played live on stage, with a live orchestra and narrator - an exquisite way to experience that game.

The mechanical chops of Frictional Games mixed with the narrative verve of The Chinese Room, how could this game be anything less than incredible?

After The Dark Descent I fell off’ve the “scary guy chases you around” genre of game until Alien: Isolation revitalised it, and the reviews of A Machine for Pigs were mixed - kind of boring, middling gameplay, too dark - so I never went back. I was planning on writing a little about its vibe - dark, gothic Victoriana that rhymes nicely with As the Sun Forever Sets - but after a bit of research, Mandus’ quest for his missing sons strikes an unexpectedly resonant and terrible chord.

The writing and voice acting is phenomenal, Mandus’ split consciousness - the self you play and the other half of him that’s seen the horrors of the forthcoming 20th Century and is compelled to act, imbued into the myopic machine he built - is extremely compelling. He feels compassion for the poor and wants to save them, but they fill him with fear and disgust. He knows the industrialist class is killing the world, but feels a deep shame in the fact that he counts himself amongst them. So his machine grinds the rich into meat for the poor, who it distorts into grotesque pig homunculi and forces them to operate the machine’s inscrutable workings.

It’s Mandus’ twisted way of saving the world - kill the rich for their crimes, enslave the poor for their own good, all hail the new machine/god/manager of the 20th century. It’s a neat reflection of the way modern politicians contort themselves to the whims of big business and AI snake oil salesmen to avoid doing the simple and obvious things that’d better the world. It’s a nightmarish refutation of Victorian Liberalism, that only the upper class know how to fix the problems of the lower class. It’s brilliant, and we should play it. 

"Do you hear me Mandus? This is what you planned! This world is a machine! A Machine for Pigs! Fit only for the slaughtering of pigs! Whores, beggars, orphans, filthy degenerates. Pigs all. But I will purify the streets, cleanse this city, set the great industry free. I will clean the world, make it pure." - The Machine, A Machine for Pigs

Song of the Year, of the Century

Not long after I came out as trans, I was asked what (in an ideal world) would make transition easier. I replied - never having to leave the house. One day I'd shut the front door as a man and another day, months or years later, I'd open it again as a woman, neatly sidestepping the terror of being perceived in a notoriously transphobic Britain.

In 2020 I shut that door and didn't open it for 4 months. At work, I remember calling the nearby shelter to donate our excess hand sanitizer and toilet roll, figuring out at the last second how support workers could take calls from their already isolated clients via their mobile phones, and fixating on the steady stream of scared coworkers leaving early. Tearfully, I felt the urge to hug those that remained as we locked up, before we remembered we probably shouldn't.

I've never been more aware of the minutia of moving through a space on the way home - How many people had their hands on this handrail? Have I touched my mouth or eyes without realising? Is anyone in the office already sick? Or on this train? How many more people are going to die? - My heart was in my chest, I heard the blood whoosh through my head to the beat of my steps on the pavement. At home, I realised my boyfriend had to go into work the next day. After he went to sleep, terrified he might die, I cried.

"I remember I felt an extraordinary persuasion that I was being played with, that presently, when I was upon the very verge of safety, this mysterious death—as swift as the passage of light—would leap after me from the pit about the cylinder, and strike me down." - "The Heat Ray", The War of the Worlds

Writing As the Sun Forever Sets was my way of coping with the disconnect with the world I felt, the fear of both Covid and the rising transphobia kept me inside even as the lockdowns eased. That feeling of throbbing death creeping at the window took a long time to wrestle under control, and getting deeply obsessed with a big project became part of that process. It seems incredibly maudlin to make a TTRPG dealing with darkness and death during a pandemic that killed (and continues to kill) millions of people, but I suppose I’m kind of a maudlin person.

“I haven't written a song in a month, So I'm playing the same chords again. I know I need to get lost in the moment, But I get lost before it begins. Fingers stretching out into space. Reaching as a thought slips away.”

It also burnt me the fuck out. After years of constant work and testing (beginning long before Evil Hat picked up the game), I ran out of steam. I spent the months after Evil Hat’s public playtest ended not really able to write anything ATSFS related at all. The game kind of froze - I knew what I wanted to change or fix or add, but the moment the google doc opened I couldn’t make myself start typing. It was incredibly frustrating to have the switch flip from endless obsessive writing to constant nothing, and I don’t think I truly recognised the burnout I was feeling until recently. It turns out spending years staying up past midnight writing is bad, who know!

A lot of Forged in the Dark games don’t get finished (or more accurately, get stuck in perpetual development), something that the excellent and dearly missed +1 Forward podcast recognised in their episode collecting their thoughts on the FITD games they looked at back in 2021. I think that’s because, at least to me, writing a Forged in the Dark game is like trying to hold a plate of spaghetti without the plate. It’s deceptively simple at its heart, but the system squirms when you poke at it - write one thing and it affects 3 other things. Tug one piece of pasta out and you lose a meatball without realising it.

When I listened to that episode, I took it as a challenge. Part of me now wonders if it was a curse. I'm being hyperbolic, of course. But a little part of me did think it might be better to give the game up.

That’s not going to be As the Sun Forever Sets' fate, thankfully. Evil Hat has been there to support me when I’ve felt guilty about shifting another deadline or replying to a check-in email with another late “Not much progress this month, sorry!” The frozen writers block is thawing, and I’m so tantalisingly close to finishing the final text. This blog is part of that process, another chip in the icy dam.

The wheels of dread Martian terror turn once again, and it feels good. Part of that is down to not beating myself up about a lack of progress. The more important part came when I realised I felt able to return to the world again - living in it, not hiding from it. Staying connected to it, even when there's times I'm not able to inhabit it physically. Covid, Britains particular brand of transphobic brainworms, and the shadow of Empire all continue to exist, and so do I - a weird maudlin transsexual woman - in spite of them all.

“The day seemed, by contrast with my recent confinement, dazzlingly bright, the sky a glowing blue. A gentle breeze kept the red weed that covered every scrap of unoccupied ground gently swaying. And oh! the sweetness of the air!” - “The Stillness”, The War of the Worlds

You made it!

Thanks for sticking with my messy thoughts. If what I talked about here sounds cool to you, please stop by the Discord, we'd love to have you. Look forward to seeing As the Sun Forever Sets come to a crowdfunding platform of Evil Hat's choice (I assume backerkit) at some point in the future ♥.

[seelestia]

— thoughts of saccharine.

two cubes of sugar for each daydream.

#STARRING: wanderer, kaveh, alhaitham, cyno, tighnari, wanderer w/ gn!reader.

#GENRE: fluff, crack-ish but that's just how i write fluff, headcanons/hcs.

#NOTES: mentions of kisses, one implied injury but nothing graphic, cyno's reader isn't a qualified doctor (sorry to the med students).

#THOUGHTS: comically enough, i spent more time on the formatting than the writing itself. maybe i'll play around with them more often? anywho, here is a little smth before fontaine and while i work on other stuff per usual! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

© seelestia on tumblr, aug 2023. do not repost to other sites, plagiarize, translate nor claim as your own.

thinking about . . . how wanderer says he 'could care less' about what you do or where you go, always averting his gaze with that disinterested look. it's true, he hates getting caught up in people's business but good riddance, why does he find himself sticking to your side? maybe, he finds your company tolerable (preferable) or that he might even possibly harbor worry for your safety. the wanderer doesn't have a definite answer to this and so, all he can do is insist that he is only here to make sure you don't do anything 'stupid' — yet, he stays so close to you that he could've reached out for your hand if he wished. right, if only pride wasn't an option.

thinking about . . . how wanderer drums his cold fingers on your bare skin while knowing that they are as cold as ice, for a puppet is bereft of humanly warmth, just to incite a reaction out of you. whether it be little yelps, flinches or frowns, he'll drink them all up with an amused snicker. "too cold?" he'd ask oh-so teasingly — but bring his hands up to your lips and press a kiss to them, then you'd see how his eyes dilate and his lips quiver. who's got the upper hand now? (you do, before he snatches his hand away flusteredly and calls you 'an impulsive fool', that is.)

thinking about . . . how you're the first person kaveh looks for when it comes to everything (literally). sorry, he can't help it; but if you think it's good, then it must be really good, right? his clothes today, menu suggestions, your opinion on a performance you saw at the bazaar together and more — but oh, his architecture drafts can be a different story because he gets pouty with those. (just give him a kiss and it'll wipe itself away, easy peasy?)

thinking about . . . how kaveh would set aside some mora with you in mind. when it comes to food or other expenses, he complains about them with no reservations — but your favorite dish? or the item you were eyeing the other day? knowing that you will tell him not to trouble himself, he can only beg the traveler and paimon to keep quiet when he keeps stumbling into them when he's out buying a secret gift for you. seriously, why does this always happen to him? (huh, who would've thought that kaveh finally learnt a bit more about financial management thanks to you? "how surprising," a certain someone with gray hair and green clothes comments.)

thinking about . . . how instead of one, there are two mugs on alhaitham's kitchen table every morning. as an early bird, he knows that hydration is something much needed in the morning, so he always prepares two; one for his daily dose of caffeine and the other for your preferred drink. you never recalled asking him to do so — "and you didn't," he affirms, he just gradually incorporated it into his routine. alhaitham states it's for efficiency because he can handle sleepiness somewhat better than you (how offensive). but maybe, the way you always sleepily press a kiss to his cheek as thanks meant something too.

thinking about . . . how alhaitham lets out just the quietest sigh of relief when he realizes you're the one entering his office and not a colleague. for someone so diligent about work (he never claimed he is), he sure perks up when you visit him at work. ask him about it and alhaitham will say that he doesn't know what you're talking about — but the moment you go behind the desk and offer yourself for him to lean on, believe it or not, he melts into you so easily. (...just a little, though.)

thinking about . . . how cyno places his hood on your head when no one is around. you're not a hanger for hats, but he says that you're "cap-tivating" so it makes sense (please send help). regardless, the general does it as his own unique form of affection; he only ever takes off his head accessory around people he trusts and he thinks you look adorable with it on. not to mention, it also has his scent so he's technically marking you as his territory. relax, he's just joking. (or is he? just make a note to ask about his shampoo next time... unless he's into that all-natural stuff.)

thinking about . . . how as a general, cyno is used to speaking in a clear and precise tone with his subordinates and co-workers. but when he's here, sitting beside you while your nimble fingers make light work of bandaging his arm, his lips can't part themselves to say anything else besides a "sorry" mumbled with a pang of guilt. you tell him it's alright as long as he comes home to you at the end of the day and he refuses to be treated by anyone else ever since. ("sir, but they're not a qualified doctor." "...your point is?")

thinking about . . . how tighnari's tail always seems to have a mind of its very own; curling around your leg or wrist almost idly, almost as if it's just second nature when you're near enough to be reached. you have a suspicion that he's trying to communicate an unspoken wish — but ask tighnari about it and he'll say it just does that sometimes. you're pleasantly shocked he didn't ask if you sniffed any odd mushrooms that day (...you didn't, you think).

thinking about . . . how tighnari gives your head a little pat after you complete a task he gave (or didn't give) you. finished sweeping the floor? pat, pat. taught collei how to do her homework? pat, pat. oh, you rearranged the bookshelf when he complained about not having time for it last night? pat, pat, pat. at this point, you don't even know if he realizes he does this — but really, this is just a way to say that he's proud of you without being too overly mushy. no, it's not patronizing and no, he isn't going to admit that he has a soft spot for you in a professional setting. though, the way he'd pull back his hand at the speed of light when a ranger walks in on his patting you is a little funny.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─

✰ TAGLIST: @meimeimeirin @hcikazu @tsuk4sa-yug1 @catcze @semi-orangeapple @yuuki4646 @d-a-r-k-s-w-a-n @daisydkj @omgblade-starrail @coquettemaiden @lemontum @herdrops @lleoll @xiaosonlybeloved @chiisananingen @irethepotato @ainescribe @blooodyvampy @starlightaura @jihyuniepark @duhsies @maybemiko @lordbugs @sakkakuu-squared @lupicalbestwolf @c-a-v-a-l-r-y — [ bolded names are unable to be tagged due to visibility settings / unnotified url changes + register here to be a part of my taglist! ]

© written by @seelestia, 2033. do not copy, translate, repost to other sites nor claim as yours.

[actual-changeling]

Welcome back to Alex's unhinged meta corner - although today it is less unhinged and more of a watertight analysis.

What I am about to present you is something most people have probably already noticed, but it has been three months and I still lose my mind while going through the final fifteen frame by frame (which is a normal thing normal people like us do, right? right).

You literally cannot convince me my following meta is wrong, and the only person whose criticism I will accept on this post is Michael Sheen and Michael Sheen ONLY. If you're not Michael Sheen (hi Michael Sheen who probably has a secret tumblr account) then your guess is as good as mine, though again, I think mine is solid.

So.

We all love and hate Aziraphale's "I forgive you", but what I find even more painful is the fact that before that he almost said "I love you". Then he stops himself and changes it, and the amount of micro-expressions on his face as he makes that decision is my current cause of death.

Here's the clip as evidence #1, and while it can definitely support itself, let's dive into the pain a little more, shall we?

One important thing I noticed is that Aziraphale doesn't look at Crowley while he stutters his way through his initial reaction. He blinks up at him for a few frames before averting his eyes again and only holds eye contact after the almost-confession (from here on referred to as IL-).

This is Aziraphale holding eye contact with Crowley (left) vs. him looking away (right):

The frame on the left is from the I forgive you (IFY) part of the scene, the other one from right before IL-. If we go through the above clip little by little we will find that he avoids Crowley's face the entire time and his gaze slips further and further down, which I interpret as him overthinking/trying to come up with something to respond to this entire situation.

He is overwhelmed and surprised, caught between his two main desires: Crowley and being a Good Angel.

Combing through the frames, we can actually nail down exactly when Aziraphale first makes eye contact before the IL- and when he stops. Keep the above comparison in mind! The angle is slightly different because his chin is lower and he straightens up throughout the scene.

So! This is where he starts looking at Crowley:

And this is where he stops:

Hard to see? Let's zoom in on his eyes (numbers are the file names):

Now, you might ask me "Alex, this is all fine, although a bit insane, but why is any of this important?"

Because, fellow tumblr user and good omens enthusiast, I think that looking at Crowley is what changes his mind about what to say.

He doesn't look at him -> about to confess his feelings.

He looks at him -> says the absolutely worst possible thing.

Partly to hurt him because they're both lashing out at each other during this argument, but he looks at Crowley, looks at the person that just kissed him, that told him they could have been an us, that wants him and has always wanted him, screw everyone else.

He looks at Crowley and he wants to say l love you but then what? Once he says those words, he can't leave. He just can't.

We have to remember that they have existed within a complicated dance, a game that they have been playing for centuries without ever telling each other what that game actually is, what the rules are - because they couldn't. It was based entirely on trust and knowing the other person well enough to play it safe.

Crowley just flipped the playing board. Nothing is the way it should be, he is refusing to do their dance, refusing to play. He is looking at him and daring him to stop trying to put the pieces back on the board. The only thing neither of them has done yet is actually say I love you out loud.

Saying those words would mean stepping away from the playing board and acknowledging the room they have been playing in. It would mean saying fuck you to heaven, yes, but it would also force Aziraphale to finally define himself outside of the role he has been playing for both Crowley and heaven, and he isn't ready for that yet.

Additionally, there is the fear and/or knowledge (depending on what else the Metatron might have said or done that we did not see) that heaven will retaliate against him and Crowley if he disobeys them now, and he does not want to risk that either.

All that is what, in my opinion, happens in his head when he averts his eyes and interrupts himself. I do kinda what to make a whole different post about his facial expressions leading up to the IFY, so I will end this one with one more bit of pain.

Ready?

Firstly, the face he makes when he makes his decision.

Look at the tight line of his lips, the pain etched into his face, the pure pain in his eyes.

This is the face of someone who knows exactly how badly he is going to hurt Crowley and himself. This is an apology, an I'm sorry for what I'm about to do, this hurts me as much as it hurts you. I'm sorry but I have to.

And then he winces afterwards. I don't know about you, but this is exactly the kind of face I make when I'm emotionally torturing myself with my own thoughts. For the final blow, please look at the picture very, very closely, especially the last frame, because Aziraphale isn't just sorry and he isn't just in pain.

Aziraphale is scared because he knows* that he might lose Crowley over this. He knows that saying I forgive you is (almost) unforgivable. He KNOWS.

He does it anyway because he will lose Crowley either way but he'd rather have him alive and hating him than dead.

With that I am concluding today's unhinged meta corner, thank you for your attention and you're welcome for the pain.

Also: If you want to call me a 'tin hatter' or insane or otherwise make fun of me - this is very much a girl, what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament moment because you read my meta post all the way to the end. <3

-

*authors note: what Aziraphale thinks he knows and what is actually real is not the same thing but that's a different post

[iridiss]

it’s that time again folks. minecraft block people character analysis time. This time I wanna take an in-depth look at Garmau, Laurmau, and Garrance’s character dynamics, and I MEAN in-depth. I am breaking the canon source material down within an inch of its life. I am going to go until I either discover the character limit for a tumblr post, or reach the end of all Aphverse content, or reach the image limit of a single tumblr post. Whichever stops me first. Which is to say, this is a very long post, so if you want to read a Great Gatsby’s worth of information and analysis and gushing about Garrance, Garmau, and Laurmau, this is the place for you!

To get the party started, something I find to be immediately of notice is that the first thing Garroth ever says to Aphmau is a complaint about how he believes no one will ever listen to the guard (to him) anymore, not after Lord Malik’s “horrible” rulership.

This already paints a picture of a corrupt (or at the very least inept) leader that Garroth followed the word of. And by following Malik’s word, the people’s distrust or disdain for their previous Lord now extends to Garroth by proxy. There’s a sort of running theme with Garroth that I presumed, and it’s that Garroth feels a disconnect from the townspeople. They don’t trust him, he fears their disapproval, he’s a little bit of an outcast, regarded with some level of disdain. In Diaries: Rebirth, it’s instead stated that the guard are being suspected for the murder of Lord Malik and his family, because they don’t have the bodies to prove it wasn’t them, which is a WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL of “not trusting the guard”!! But Donna reiterates this idea in Rebirth, stating how the villagers have lost faith in Garroth.

This brings to mind the idea that Aphmau was likely one of the first few that really did listen to Garroth. If he already felt like an outsider in his own town, then it makes sense he would be drawn to a…literal outsider who’s new in town. There could easily be an aspect to Garroth and Aphmau’s relationship that extrapolates upon Aphmau’s attentive and persistent friendliness and kindness making Garroth feel heard and seen in a way he doesn’t often get.

His first overall impression with Aphmau is on the note of feeling surprised and grateful for all the work she’s done for the town. He thanks her, and offers minor aid/makes requests/encourages her to continue. He appears to only grow more and more flattered by her generosity as she continues, and one notable moment between the two of them I found to be utterly adorable was when Aphmau built him the first guard tower in episode 48:

It’s likely that this is how Garroth first started falling in love with her, through her acts of selfless generosity. The lines that stick out to me here are: “This is too much, you didn’t have to do this for me,” and “No one has ever done anything this nice for me.” Giving the impression that Garroth not only hasn’t received very much kindness in his life, but also feels insecure about being showered in presents from Aphmau, further pointing to this idea that he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. She keeps giving him what effectively feels like the world to him by repairing his withering village, and he doesn’t feel like he personally deserves any of the gifts she gives him, he’s taken aback and flustered by it and it absolutely means something significant to him that she’s helping his case as much as she is.

Plus, the state of the village likely contributes a lot to Garroth being frowned upon by the other villagers, so she, entirely unintentionally, ends up doing a lot to save his skin and make his life better in her casual, day-to-day improvements on the town. Even more so when Garroth becomes her personal guard and right-hand-man. If his name was soiled by working for Lord Malik, I can only imagine his reputation would be healed by working for Lord Aphmau. Which is to say, she makes his life better overall, without even realizing it.

After that, Garroth gets mortally wounded, and Aphmau travels all the way to Bright Port and faces the Alpha of the Southern Werewolf Tribe (and goes to hell!) to save his life. And soon after his recovery, Aphmau finds Levin, and brings him to Garroth.

He automatically volunteers to help Aphmau raise him the second he hears she’s going to raise this child herself, not even sparing a second to ask if he could but just. Without any hesitation or argument, he immediately steps up as Levin’s new foster dad. This blows me away, personally! Not very many people on this earth would just, without any hesitation or question, automatically volunteer themselves as some random kid’s new father figure just so that they didn’t have to watch their friend suffer through the trial of being a single mom. He recognizes that Aphmau is going to struggle to be a single mom, so he immediately takes away as much of that burden as he can by signing himself up as a co-parent. Now it’s Garroth’s turn to help Aphmau <3

To me, the intimacy of this commitment cannot be understated, even though the canon source material doesn’t recognize it as an intimate thing at all, or even as that big of a deal! They are now co-parents!! Well before they’re ever lovers, most likely well before Aphmau even develops any sort of attraction to or deep, personal bond with Garroth, they have become co-parents. They are now a family, because Garroth refuses to let her go through this alone. That shit!! Should mean!! A lot!!! To her!!! I think!!!!!! And should at the very least be the first, most pivotal moment between the two of them solidifying their bond as companions before anything else!!

I’m also beginning to notice a pattern between these two, a sense of “You’re not gonna be alone anymore. I’m here.” That now goes both ways. Previously, Aphmau had unintentionally been making Garroth feel less alone, and now, Garroth is making sure Aphmau doesn’t go through it alone.

Another adorable addition!!!

“In fact, he welcomed it like a proud father, he did!” I’m going to cry. Garroth helped organize a baby shower celebrating Levin’s arrival!! He was so happy to accept Levin as his new son, he threw a party about it!! “Look at my son!! I’m so proud of him already!!! I love him!! Look at him!! Everyone from Bright Port to Scaleswind will celebrate my new son!!!” Papa Garroth is so cute sometimes, he makes me so happy <3

From this point on, I would consider them companions. Garroth might have developed a small crush on her by this point, and there’s a chance that Aphmau has as well, but there’s also the chance that her feelings for him are still entirely platonic and such a thing has never even occurred to her before. They’re not really close at all, but they’re parenting together now. They’re a family before anything else.

I could be wrong about this but I think this is also around the time when Aphmau starts to receive a lot of pressure from people on the outside to Pick A Man And Get Married. A sizable chunk of the garmau/laurmau/etc. shipping content seems to consist of this, sadly. Where everyone else but Aphmau continues to press her over and over again about when she’s gonna shack up with Garroth or which man she should choose, and if I were in her shoes, I’d get pissed with anyone who asked me this. It’d get real old after the second time ‘round of someone else, completely unrelated to my love life, trying to pressure me to hook up with someone when I didn’t want to or didn’t feel ready to. Fortunately, Aphmau has a LOT more patience than me when it comes to dealing with this shit.

Dale asks Aphmau if she plans on hooking up with Garroth. Aphmau says no, she has too much on her plate right now to think about romance. There’s probably something to be said about how her rejection reason is “I’m too busy right now to worry about that” and not “no, ew, WTF, im not attracted to him, why would i ever hook up with Garroth.” Which, in the subtext, would imply that she very well could have some sort of attraction for Garroth or desire to get with him romantically, but since she’s the Lord of a village and dealing with all kinds of shit, she has decided to sweep all of that shit under the rug and just. Not worry about it, and ignore it for as long as she can before it starts to become a problem. Aphmau likes to do this a lot. If there is any romantic attraction in her brain, throughout most of the series she does a very, very good job at refusing to look at it. (which is very reasonable considering how fucked up everything around her is!! girl’s got a lot on her mind!! she doesn’t have time to start worrying about emotional shit, not when lives are at stake and she has a whole ass village to run and wars to fight !!!)

When the townspeople ask her if she wants to hook up with Garroth, her reaction is not “wait, what? why would I hook up with Garroth lmao. no, I’m not interested in him,” her response is “I don’t want to think about that right now.” And that is a noteworthily different thing than saying “ew no.” There is a world of difference between those two replies. And that is fascinating to me.

This is still a strong contrast to Mystreet Aphmau however, especially in comparison to how Mystreet starts with an Aphmau who crushes HARD and LOUD and is an open book with her feelings, it is NOT hard to tell when that freshman has a crush. MCD Aphmau is, from what I can personally tell, such a master of repressing her own emotions that she can easily be mistaken for having zero attraction for anyone at all throughout the entirety of season 1. For her, you kinda have to dig for “tells” that she’s attracted to Garroth or Laurance, up until the beginning of s2. While Garroth and Laurance wear their hearts on their sleeve, Aphmau buries it deep where she doesn’t have to look at it, doesn’t have to worry about it, doesn’t have to make any rash, life-changing decisions, doesn’t have to face the vulnerability of it, and can instead put her energy towards much more important shit, like saving lives and recovering towns and stopping wars.

This is how I interpret her reactions and responses, at least. She seems much more romantically reserved than Mystreet Aphmau ever is, if im being honest

…then of course there’s this classic moment lmao

Garroth prepares Aphmau a chest of supplies she’ll need for her journey to meet Levin’s mother, and inside is a wedding ring. Aphmau is confused to find a wedding ring in the chest, and says “uhhhh…I don’t need that” and sets it aside. Meanwhile, Garroth stands less than a foot away.

My man, you have got to be less subtle than that.

Not that I think she would have accepted the offer if it were bolder, I believe she would still reject him all the same at this point in time, but this also shows how Garroth prefers to handle matters of confessing his feelings for someone. He doesn’t get on one knee and beg for her to marry him in front of everyone in Phoenix Drop, or make any sort of grand love confession—no, he doesn’t even specify that he was the one who prepared the chest!! He tries to be incredibly subtle about his feelings for her, trying backwards silent ways to maybe, quietly, suggest that he likes her. He’s shy about it!! He struggles to make grand gestures of proclaimed affection!! He’s quiet with his feelings and doesn’t talk about them!!

Later on, this will contrast Laurance, who handles his feelings in the POLAR OPPOSITE way, loudly and proudly and utterly obnoxiously even to a highly detrimental point, and it’s interesting to see the differences in Aphmau’s beginning opinions of Garroth vs her first impression of Laurance. She’s civil and friendly and giving towards Garroth, they don’t talk about their intimate feelings (because they’re both chronically bad at it lmao) but they become a family and she trusts him with that, she trusts him with her child and with her life, and goes the limit to save his own life and make sure he’s okay. And meanwhile, her first impression of Laurance is much closer to hating his guts lmao. It’s interesting to think about how Laurance’s bold demeanor clashes with Aphmau’s more reserved demeanor at first, before that boldness ends up becoming something she needs, something that fills a void in her life that she depends on and trusts to always be upfront and honest with her (we’ll get more into that later). And meanwhile, Aphmau and Garroth both matching with kinda-similar demeanors leads to them becoming friends much faster than Laurmau does, buuut it also means it takes them 100+ episodes to actually confront how they feel about each other lmao.

I also want to point out: At this point, Garroth is not just asking Aphmau to maybe consider dating him. He’s going straight to marriage. Which means Garroth—the man infamously known from running away from a previous engagement, might I add—is willing to become her goddamn husband right goddamn now.

This could probably be attributed again to the fact that they’re co-parents together. Something about assuming it’d be “easier to raise a child together and be levin’s mom and dad for realsies” if they were married. But Aphmau’s also just about to travel to meet Matilda, so Garroth knows that there’s a full possibility that Levin may not be their kid to raise anymore when she gets back. If they got married now, before she left, then they may not be parents anymore, but they could still be a couple/a family together. Maybe this was even some sort of last-ditch effort to salvage that and make sure their new arrangement stays, so he doesn’t have to let go of this wonderful thing with Levin’s absence. My man’s got fatherhood and family and marriage on the mind—and meanwhile, Aphmau doesn’t even want to start THINKING about the possibility of romance. When it comes to handling a possible intimate relationship, they’re both really bad at talking about their feelings, but in terms of what they’re willing to face—these two are on opposite ends of the book. He’s willing to become her goddamn husband, but Aphmau doesn’t even wanna think about romance—no matter what she may truly feel.

It is at this point when Laurance enters the scene.

Lmao, MCD!Aphmau has a WILDLY different reaction to Laurance’s advances than Rebirth!Aphmau. Rebirth!Aphmau blushes bright red and feels flustered and confused by his flirting, and meanwhile MCD!Aphmau says he is “creeping her out” and tells him to get the fuck away from her and says “uhhh no thanks!!” To all of his advances. She is NOT a fan of his pick-up lines and finds his advances unnerving, unwelcome, and often frustrating. I like to imagine this is to contrast gentlemanly Garroth, who would never EVER treat a lady so inappropriately. But Aphmau is frustrated with Laurance’s advances for a long while throughout S1, and it’s only as she starts to get to know Laurance intimately as a person and as a friend first that her reaction to his flirting gradually changes from irritation to laughter, teasing him back and playing along with their banter. He ends up flirting with her mostly just to make her laugh, because he knows she’ll crack up smiling whenever he does, and he likes to see her smile. Buuut that’s only when they become closer friends first, right now they’re practically strangers, and Aphmau hates his inappropriate behavior.

(disclaimer to all the fellas in the audience: please don’t ever actually do this in real life. if a girl very clearly says no to all of your advances, back the fuck off and stop. im taking a gentle hand with this because Laurance is a little more complicated of a character whom I adore very much and I want to analyze him and his relationship with Aphmau with an open-minded, gracious hand in order to give their later relationship and true bond in canon a fair and accurate, loving chance. but in real life? its much simpler. this would be considered sexual harassment. please don’t ever do this lmao)

The first ever Garroth/Laurance/Aphmau interaction is when Aphmau gets arrested. I love the contrast here between how Laurance and Garroth talk about each other. “He seems like a nice guy!” VS “How inappropriate. I’ll make sure to have a few words with him…” Garroth’s first impression of Laurance is disdain for his behavior (and for flirting with his crush), and Laurance’s first impression of Garroth is “I like this guy! He’s nice :)” lmao. The feeling is not mutual, Laurance.

Then we have the face reveal scene. Here, Garroth’s deepest shame is put on display. Very intimately, Aphmau is the only one he trusts enough to see him like this, to let her in and see his worst sins.

He feels like he’s failed the village, and has likely failed his people in general, for a myriad of reasons. 1. He feels responsible for Zenix’s betrayal and corruption, because Zenix was his apprentice, he feels like his upbringing is his responsibility, and if Zenix turns bad, it’s therefore his fault for not teaching him to know better. For not noticing that Zenix was even corrupt or a Shadow Knight in the first place. Garroth feels like the attack on the town is his fault, because of this. 2. He left his kingdom behind in their time of need, because he couldn’t face marrying a woman he didn’t love, so he’s already pretty predisposed to feel guilty and ashamed of himself and convinced that he’s a failure. This is why revealing his face to Aphmau brings back the worst of his shame when paired with Zenix’s betrayal. To him, showing her his princely appearance and his true identity (the thing he tries his damndest to keep hidden from other villagers, his skeleton in the closet) is the equivalent of showing her a raw and infected wound. He is deeply insecure, but Aphmau doesn’t see him as a failure. She doesn’t see him for his faults at all and sympathizes with him, insisting that he doesn’t deserve to hurt like this. He disagrees.

Maybe he’s too far deep in his own shame for pretty words to drag him out, maybe he knows that Aphmau doesn’t understand that he’s a Prince yet. She doesn’t understand the full extent of his crimes, so she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. It’s a nice sentiment, but he’s certain that once she learns the full truth about him, she’ll turn her back on him and see that the cruel voice inside his head is right.

Little does he know how truly forgiving Aphmau is, especially with him. She worries for him.

I wonder if there’s an angle to be played that Garroth’s personal shame and self-loathing might effect his ability to open up and be confident and bold on his own—and how that would effect his view of Laurance, as well. Because here’s the thing, Garroth doesn’t know it yet, but Laurance is just as full of guilt and shame as he is. Laurance blames himself for the death of his father figure, Lord, and previous mentor, in the same way Garroth blames himself for Zenix’s attack. Laurance feels like he’s failed as a guard, and it’s easy to think that he would carry that feeling with him going forward. But Laurance handles his shame differently. He handles it by hiding behind a mask.

This clip is fascinating to me because it’s the first time Laurance truly, fully, deeply opens up to Aphmau on a vulnerable level. And in doing so, he lets her peek behind the mask for just a moment, to reveal that this flirtatious Casanova exterior he has is nothing but that—an exterior. An act. It’s something he’s making up to hide the fact that in truth, he’s awkward and doesn’t know what to do or how else to respond to all the one-sided advances he’s getting. He doesn’t flirt with the girls of Meteli because he actually likes them, he does it because… he doesn’t know what else to do. He goes along with the game as a sort of front, and without it, he actually really struggled to talk to girls and connect with others. He never actually forms a more intimate bond with any of these girls, and later on he even reveals that he’d never even kissed a girl before Aphmau. This man is a single virgin who hasn’t even kissed anyone before, he doesn’t actually sleep around or date anyone, the player act is all for show.

And I believe Laurance uses this front to cover up other emotions or parts of himself as well, more than just his true awkward nature and disinterest in any of these women. Laurance strikes me as the kind of guy who uses humor to cope with the pain, or to hide how insecure/scared/depressed/upset he actually feels. Maybe if all of Meteli thinks of him as the confident, sexy, Casanova flirt who picks up chicks all the time, they won’t see him for the failure he truly is: the guard who couldn’t even save his father’s life.

Garroth hides behind a literal mask. Laurance hides behind a figurative one.

But Laurance is so good at pretending to be confident and bold and brave that it’s likely Garroth feels jealous of him. In episode 15 of S2, Garroth says: “…Or maybe, I’m just having flashforwards to things I should have done. I feel like I should have taken the time to know you more as a person, rather than just protecting you as my Lord. In a way, I’m a little jealous of Laurance. He was able to befriend you, and make you laugh. . . . I wish I had the chance to create fond memories like that with you. I wasn’t sure how to approach you, so I just acted as your Guard.” Which is true! Before Laurance showed up, 98% of Garroth and Aphmau’s interactions were purely formal.

It’s funny, despite Aphmau not actually wanting any of Laurance’s romantic advances, Garroth wishes he could be more like Laurance. I can guarantee you if Garroth tried to flirt with Aphmau as obnoxiously as Laurance did, he would still get rejected. Because Aphmau doesn’t really work that way, you need to become her friend first, form an actual bond, before she’d even allow herself to start thinking about romancing you. She’s not one for smooth, confident, hot guys who pick up chicks, she’s got a goddamn job to do (even if Garroth flirted with her, it wouldn’t change the workload she has to focus on instead)

By episode 39, Garroth‘s opinion of Laurance seems to be improving. From nothing but irritated disdain, to “he’s a good man, he’s in my good graces and I’m on friendly terms with him now, but I still don’t like how inappropriately he treats you.” Laurance’s friendliness is beginning to be reciprocated! :D There’s also a blooming impression that Laurance and Garroth are beginning to speak with each other off-screen, especially with Laurance talking about them sharing a previous confrontation over Aphmau off-screen (and Laurance flippantly disregarding Garroth’s request to stop harassing her lol)

And then… Laurance gets trapped in the Nether. He sacrifices himself to save Aphmau (and castor)‘s life, but sadly gets left behind to face Shad all by himself. It’s an incredibly noble thing for him to do, and frankly, it’s a way we can look at Laurance’s actions, and not his words, to see more clearly what kind of person he truly is at heart, and it’s someone selfless and caring and honorable enough to give his life to save an old friend that consistently pisses him off, and a woman he barely even really knew. It’s an act that solidifies an impression on Aphmau, and from this point onwards, she doesn’t seem to treat him like an annoyance anymore, but as a friend that she worries for and wants to take care of.

Garroth’s reaction is more…complicated, however. When Aphmau first arrives on PD shores to tell him the news, Garroth’s reflexive reaction is this:

Garroth doesn’t hate Laurance for “stealing his thunder” and saving Aphmau’s life, it actually hugely improves his opinion of the man. He’s deeply grateful for him and his sacrifice, and values his honor and knighthood quite a lot. He’s determined to save him and bring him back (even though he may pose a “threat” as a “romantic rival”).

…Up until Ungrth comes back with the news of Laurance’s transformation into a Shadow Knight. Now here’s where shit gets dicey. As a Shadow Knight, it would be in Laurence’s nature to kill Aphmau, and he forever will be drawn to killing her. This makes him incredibly dangerous, and a massive risk to Aphmau’s life from this point forward. Understandably, this makes Garroth feel a bit… nervous. Apparently so nervous that he decides to pull this:

This feels a bit cold, to me. It makes sense logically speaking, but like. I’m pretty sure the continuity of the series forgot this rule for a reason lmao, because forcing Laurance to kill himself the second he leaves the Nether would be one HELL of a derailment of the main plot. There’s a potential timeline out there where the narrative didn’t forget about this rule and Garroth could’ve tried to hold him to this, and he tries to pressure him into it, and Laurance gets caught in a binding dilemma as a guard, but also as a person!! That’d be dark as shit!! And very fucked up!! Especially considering the horrific trauma he’s been through and the mental state he’s in once he’s freed!! There’s a world out there where Garroth makes his mental health sooooooo sosososo much worse than it was and Aphmau has to step in and tell him to knock it the fuck off. Would it be in character for him to do that? I dunno! That’s why I’m here! Did Garroth abandon his own rules on purpose? Was it intentional that Garroth never ended up holding Laurance to the rule he created? Is there a world where Garroth gets it in his craw that he needs to protect Aphmau above all else, even at the cost of Laurance’s life, and he hand-writes and integrates a new and damning rule into Knighthood itself to eliminate him as a threat—but then he actually reunites with Laurance, and he sees him for the traumatized, earnest, tender, broken man that he is, and silently decides to never bring it up again? To potentially betray his own honor as a guard by forgetting the very rule he created, because he can’t bring himself to face the cruel reality of actually forcing Laurance to do it now that he’s seeing him face-to-face? Did Laurance’s return soften his heart?

…or was that just a continuity error in an amateurly crafted minecraft roleplay series made in a youtuber’s bedroom lmao.

…Probably just the latter. Either way, I can’t help but just…take note of the vehement 180 he did? When it’s just Laurance by himself, he’s desperate to save him, but when he’s dealing with a Shadow Knight who’s very likely to kill Aphmau, it’s Aphmau’s life over all. She is his Lord after all…but also, the love of his life. Of course he would pick saving her life over making sure Laurance gets out of the Nether alive. He barely even knew the man by this point. He had only just barely started to feel positively about him on a basic level, so of course he would choose to kill Laurance and single-handedly sabotage any chance of bringing him back in one piece, if it meant he could save Aphmau’s life instead.

…now, of course, the narrative kinda forgets this rule and it doesn’t really come up ever again, especially after Laurance’s return, but I still want to point this out as a view into a sort of…darker side of Garroth. For a man with supposedly such a big heart, he does seem to be able to drastically shut it off at a moments notice, if he’s been horrendously slighted in some way or another. Even if it comes at the expense of others lives. It’s cold as fuck of a choice, but it’s also very understandable that he wouldn’t want to welcome a sort of…murderous monster into his home and put the life of his Lord at such huge risk, possibly even his family and Phoenix Drop itself could have been endangered as well. Thats the mother of his child he’s protecting here, and all he knows is that Laurance is pretty guaranteed to try to kill her the second he comes back. They just barely tangoed with the damages of Zenix’s own attack on the village, he does not want to contend with that a second time.

I can’t help but imagine how Garroth and Aphmau might’ve argued and fought over what to do about Laurance.

Aphmau desperately wants to save Laurance and bring him back, despite the risk upon her own health and safety. Garroth, however, stops her, and holds her back. He’s terrified of Laurance hurting her now. Even if he is their friend, he’s not willing to sacrifice her to bring him back. They still care for each other, despite this conflict of interests. Aphmau’s care for Laurance pulls her to him, despite the danger, Garroth’s care for her holds her back, and Aphmau’s care for Garroth brings her to listen to him and continue to do nothing.

I don’t feel like Garroth is doing this to “keep Aphmau all to himself.” I think his love for her is most certainly influencing him to be more protective than usual, but I think the theory that he’s actively sabotaging Laurance’s return out of “jealous rivalry” was proven wrong by his reflex response at the start. Like, if Laurance had gotten stuck in the Wyvern dimension instead, Garroth would 1000% single-handedly fish him out and bring him back to stay at their side. Before Ungrth confirmed that he was being transformed into a bloodthirsty monster, he was desperate to rescue him. But now, he had to choose between Laurance’s life, or Aphmau’s, in bringing him back. He’s closer with Aphmau, he loves her dearly, he’s raising a child with her, a son who needs his mother, Phoenix Drop had just been attacked by another Shadow Knight already, an attack he feels horribly responsible for. So if he feels guilty for leading Phoenix Drop into ruin under Zenix, then he absolutely is going to try his damndest to prevent that from happening again. He will do everything in his power to amend his sins by keeping the village, and his Lord, perfectly safe.

And I think he’s probably even sad that Laurance is gone! “Laurance was a good man and a worthy guard, it’s a shame the order lost him. Ulrich and Luna of Meteli told me so many notable deeds Laurance has done for his people…” He wasn’t intimately close with the man at this point, but there’s a clear solemn respect that he holds for him now that he’s gone. He wishes that it hadn’t come to this, he wishes that Laurance was okay and that this never had to happen. He believes he’s honoring Laurance’s wishes by choosing to keep Aphmau safe, saying if it were him in Laurance’s shoes, he would have wanted him to do the same. This tells me he fully believes that if Garroth had gotten trapped in the Nether instead, and Laurance was left on the other side, he would fully expect Laurance to treat him the same way, to leave him abandoned in the Nether, to suffer the torture and trauma and pain alone.

…I don’t fully think Laurance would do the same, however. I feel like he would have been at least a handful more open to the idea of rescuing Garroth, especially since Laurance felt much more positively about Garroth as a friend than Garroth felt about Laurance.

Garroth and Aphmau make up when Zane arrives. He starts trying to force Garroth to reveal his identity as the Prince of O’khasis. Aphmau doesn’t know that he’s a Prince, however, she only knows that he feels uncomfortable with showing his face for reasons he refuses to talk about. When the High Priest of O’khasis himself demands she order him to take off his helmet, she defends Garroth’s boundaries and refuses.

And even when her hands are tied and he forces her to order him to do it anyway, she finds a loophole to make sure his boundaries stay protected.

This means A LOT to Garroth. Considering how vehemently Zane, his brother, is currently trying to break his boundaries (and the fact that he was forced into a marriage he didn't consent to), its likely that Garroth's family frequently refuse to give a shit about his boundaries or his consent or his opinion about what he does and does not do with his personhood, life, body, and appearance. So to have Aphmau, someone in charge who very much has the power to force him to do what he doesn't want to do, then turn around and respect him as a human being and care for his consent on a level no one's ever done for him before? It means a fuckin lot!!

they truly are the “he asked for no pickles!” couple of all time…… aphmau protecting Garroth as he protects her…… protective aphmau…… aphmau defending Garroth when he’s the one in need of a knight……

This means so much to him, that he decides to...go out in public for some reason?? Anyway?? Despite all that fuss?? And shows up at the reception to ask Aphmau to dance with him. Any strain over Laurance is mended, as they enjoy their night together and share a special moment.

They're starting to really drop their formal, professional behavior from earlier. They really are beginning to draw close to each other now, allowing themselves to joke around more often. Aphmau starts teasing him more, and he lightens up a lot. Aphmau’s own reactions have started to shift from neutral, professional, unbothered, breezing through the scenes without much of a reaction at all on the video cam, to now smiling and laughing along. She grows fond at the sight of him. A playful heart that’s often so buried under the professionalism of their jobs and the stress of their lives bleeds out in the brief moments where they can take a break from it all, in the moments of casual comfort they bring each other.

(also Garroth nearly asking if they could get married…… he tries a second time……)

I do want to note that Aphmau 100% supports Garroth’s decision to leave his throne behind. She doesn’t want Garroth to go back and fulfill his duties, she wants him to stay right here with her and leave the rest of the world behind. She needs him here with her, with their son, with the town that relies on him, as her guard, as her dear companion. This contrasts Laurance’s own opinion, who believes going back and returning to his old throne and marrying Nicole is not only the more honorable thing to do, but would likely get them out of this mess if he did.

He finds Garroth’s refusal to take the throne cowardly, and seems to resent him for it, at least on some minor level. If Garroth just tended to his responsibilities and stopped running away, he could single-handedly take over the threat of O’khasis as a whole and make the world a better place, and they wouldn’t need to suffer through any more violence and war and loss at the hands of Zane Ro’meave or the King. But it means more than that to Garroth. He’s terrified of taking any position of leadership. Partially because he’s just naturally better at being a follower than a leader, but mainly because he refuses to become his father. In episode 68 of S1, he admits that he used to look up to his father a lot, he wanted to grow up to be exactly like him. But then he turned cruel and corrupt with time, and Garroth’s feelings changed. If his father is abusive, it’s likely that he had some sort of realization of the truth about how horrible his father truly was. I do feel like it is NOT a coincidence that Garroth looks almost exactly like Garte and is named after him. It’s pretty much like if he named him, “Garte Jr.” It would make sense if Garroth’s chosen destiny was meant to revolve around continuing Garte’s legacy, taking his place when he’s gone, becoming the perfect King as his father wanted him to become, act and behave. Which is to say, a cruel and corrupt one. It’s easy to think that Garroth, as kind and soft and shy and good as he is, didn’t want anything to do with fulfilling that legacy. He had been running away from his father long before the marriage arrangement. When he was in his youth, he says he joined the Guard Academy specifically so he could get away from his father, saying “one day [he] had enough.” He runs away from the throne not because he’s a coward who doesn’t feel like being responsible—he’s incredibly responsible, when it comes to being a Head Guard—he runs away because he’s running away from his father.

It’s likely he’s running away from abuse. Or at least some sort of toxic, unhealthy, or potentially even abusive family dynamic, given how many examples we see of the Ro’meave being dysfunctional and cruel and uncaring, with Zane’s behavior, with Garte’s behavior, with Zianna feeling the need to cheat and confide in another man due to how bad her husband got, with Garroth running away from his family as far as he can get and literally going under cover just to avoid them. These are not the signs of a happy, functional family unit. These are the signs of trauma.

What doesn’t occur to Laurance is the extent of what he’s asking Garroth to do, by returning to his family and their legacy. To step up and become King. Laurance, the stubborn man who grew up with caring Hayden as a father, with a perfect loving sister, and however Joh was like as a dad, he only sees the potential Garroth has to become the wonderful, good Lord that fixes everything and undoes all the damage and brings peace to the world. He doesn’t see the darker truth that it means to Garroth, the scars that motivate him to hide himself so vehemently, all the time.

I wonder if Garroth would be more confident in himself if he grew up in a healthier family unit. Maybe that’s why Mystreet!Garroth behaves so differently (and was able to confess his love to Aphmau MUCH sooner). He carries this strong sense of guilt, of shame, of feeling like he’s always inadequate and always a failure who doesn’t deserve love or nice things and doesn’t quite know how to love yet. Insecurity that strong usually comes from somewhere, and I believe it came from Garroth’s upbringing/childhood/family/mainly his father. Especially since that level of shame and guilt isn’t anywhere NEAR as present in Mystreet!Garroth. There’s a point to be made about how he always hides his feelings, buries himself deep, and always assumes that it’s his fault when something goes wrong. Especially if part of his guilt stems from…not taking the throne. From refusing to become what his father, his family, wanted him to be, all because he couldn’t take it.

I feel like all of this does occur to Aphmau. And that’s one of the main reasons why she’s so empathetic with him, why she immediately takes his side and refuses to turn him over to Zane and insists that he stay here, with her, and run far away from that arranged marriage and his father. She’s protecting him. Here, he’s safe. Here, she can continue to love him and keep him close. She recognizes his family for the corrupt and fucked up unit that it is and refuses to let him subject himself to that suffering any more. She knows he doesn’t want to go back, doesn’t want to marry Nicole, and she stands by his boundaries and defends them, even with an entire army, even with her life and the lives of her people, if it means keeping him out of Zane’s grasp.

…But also… if he stays with her, and never accepts his arraigned marriage… it means he’s still up for grabs. He stays single… he stays with Aphmau. So if she wants to date him, if she wants to marry him sometime in the future, then she can. I do believe there is a romantic aspect to her refusal to accept the arraigned marriage. It doesn’t feel to me like she’s rejecting it purely only on principle, there’s surely some sort of intent behind making sure Garroth stays single lmao. (especially since this is the aphverse we’re talking about……)

No matter what he does or what horrendous faults he commits, she still clings on tight to him. She refuses to let him go.

Speaking of Laurance, guess who returns from the Nether!!! And Garroth has a turnaround!

I don’t know what happened to “Laurance needs to kill himself the second he touches overworld soil” but I’m happy to see it has immediately vanished from Garroth’s mind. He cares for Laurance, though “I’ll be watching just in case he turns” shows he still has that sense of caution when handling SK!Laurance. He wants to take care of him and make sure he’s okay, and he pities what he’s been through. Saving Aphmau’s life did a lot to improve his trust + opinion of the man.

Laurance hugely confides in Aphmau once he’s returned. But before I get to that, I want to unpack this confession.

Laurance refuses to pressure Aphmau into a relationship. Neither of them are ready for one, and he’s certainly not at a place mentally or physically where he could handle being someone’s boyfriend. He tells her this not to get anything out of it, but because he knows he lives on a timer, and he doesn’t know when it’s gonna run out. He doesn’t know if or when he’s going to hurt her and lose control, so he wants her to know that he loves her. As some sort of parting words before the storm begins, but also likely as reassurance for like…”hey, if I turn and try to kill you later, just know that’s not actually me and I don’t want to hurt you!” He’s also pretty chill about her rejecting him.

That rejection.

See, this is where my job gets hard. As the POV YouTuber roleplaying in a minecraft server, it’s harder to see into Aphmau’s head than it is to see into the NPCs. She’s sort of a…vessel, at times, and other characters often try to decide what Aphmau thinks or feels. There’s a lot of people in the cast claiming that Aphmau has romantic feelings for Laurance and Garroth, but that’s their opinion, and if you remove all the outside pressure and actually look at what subtle, minute actions and reactions Aphmau has, it is very different from what everyone else keeps presuming about her. It’s fascinating how everyone else in the cast just kind of…assumes Aphmau’s feelings for her and tells her how she feels, all the time, while Aphmau herself is a lot more reserved and subtle and harder to read. Laurance states a factual detail here though, she supposedly clenched her grip on his hand when he confessed.

…in real life, this kind of physical reflex would mean jack shit. My hands would be fuckin’ tensing up too if someone I wasn’t attracted to suddenly dropped a love confession on my ass. My hands would tense up if the love of my life confessed to me. My hands would tense up if they said they didn’t care about me. My hands would tense up if the love of my life said there’s a goddamn ice cream truck around the corner and we should go get that sweet sweet creamy sugar substance right tf now. I don’t care. This means nothing. If we’re gonna talk noticing physical details that imply someone is experiencing attraction, Garroth would surely mention something about Aphmau blushing bright red, or Aphmau’s own dialogue options would specify that she starts to blush, as they end up often doing later on. This is bullshit.

So I’m inclined to believe that Laurance is full of shit. But as a writer, I also know what it’s like to use characters dropping facts like this as some sort of way to directly communicate to the audience that they’re dropping an important truth bomb and that another character is lying. So I don’t know for sure. Personally, if we’re going off of Aphmau’s reactions and development up to this point, I’m inclined to believe that she’s telling the truth when she says she’s not interested in him romantically (as per usual) and Laurance is just being the same little shit he always is. But MCD!Aphmau also seems to be the type to lie about her feelings and push them away if she was pushed against some sort of wall and pressured to choose in the moment. So take it as you will, I guess.

Nonetheless, she appreciates the honesty. This hasn’t ruined whatever fondness she feels for Laurance. But additionally, she appreciates the honesty, coming from Casanova Laurance. The man who puts up a mask and fakes being a flirt. If she knows that all the previous times Laurance flirted with her was him blowing smoke and pretending to be something he’s not, then she knows that this confession was as real and true as they come. This is Laurance finally dropping that mask completely and being nothing but his full, vulnerable, genuine self for her, and there’s this potent fondness shared between the two of them for it. That raw intimacy, he shows her what he’s really like underneath, and she says, “I appreciate the honesty.” She appreciates the true Laurance. She cares, deeply, for the real Laurance, and is happy to meet him. “Please do this again,” she communicates to him, “I don’t want my rejection to dissuade you from thinking I still care about you, because I do. You mean so much to me already, and I want to see more of the real you. I appreciate you, I’m happy you’re back. Stay by my side.”

They’re so soft I’m gonna die. I’m gonna SCREAM—

Aphmau immediately turns around and starts teasing Garroth. Lmao look at this loser you guys.

…do you think this means she knows he has feelings for her. do you think this means she has feelings for him. Either way, I love to see her fluster Garroth by being bold and ballsy with her taunting. When she’s comfortable with someone, MCD!Aphmau really can be a flirt at times. ((btw this definitely absolutely counts as a flirt. like this is the kind of shit I would pull on my own crush. girlie you are not fooling anyone))

These two are fucking hilarious. Aphmau like “…what if we ‘pretended’ we were dating……… what if you called me your girlfriend and gave me kisses and called me honeybear in public ……… what if we hooked up but it was all for the joke hahahaha…… purely only for business!!! because all that matters to me is making sure my job of saving the town and my people and my loved ones is fulfilled!!! and that includes saving your life rn hahaha!!! do you think it would save your life if you kissed me” girl. girl come on. at this point you are actively looking for an excuse to allow yourself this. I just love so much that she’s the one who suggested it and came up with the idea in the first place (why were u thinking of pretending to be his girlfriend honey… that’s suspish…), and Garroth immediately turns very visibly flustered and refuses, insisting he could never force her to do such a thing for his sake. Of course Garroth Ro’meave would never ever ever ever come up with the idea of forcing someone else into a romantic relationship they didn’t want to be in, that’s so on brand for you. Of course it would never occur to you to envision a hypothetical scenario where you possibly had an excuse to be romancey with your crush. Loser. Nerd. Doofus. Dork. Dweeb. I want to squeeze his tiny body in my hands and make him squeak repeatedly

The idea that Aphmau searches for an excuse to allow herself a love life the moment it becomes relevant to her “job” because she feels like work is all she’s allowed to focus on… girl……… you have got to allow yourself to live a little I stg

Behold, the beginning of Laurance and Aphmau’s playful back-and-forth teasing banter!!! One of the best and funniest parts of their dynamic. Once Aphmau forms a genuine bond with Laurance giving his life for her and revealing his true self to her from that point onwards (because he’s too fuckin traumatized and depressed to keep up the mask as much as he did before, and Aphmau means way too much to him now to not be sincere and vulnerable with her), she switches how she responds to his flirting and his dialogue, and starts teasing him back. They become much more light-hearted, and in the same way Laurance loves to make Aphmau laugh, it’s heartwarming to see her return the same sentiment for him, making him crack a smile while he’s at his worst. She brightens his day, every way she can. She’s so proud of him. She’s seen how he’s changing, and she’s so, so proud. She sees him smile again, and it makes her so happy to see. She’s so proud of him every moment he smiles and laughs and looks towards something better. She takes his hand!! She holds his hand and happily offers to guide him through!! She convinces him to get back on his feet and go to a party!! AUUGHHH !!!!!! He means so much to her now. Maybe she’s trying to do everything she can to repay the favor of the immeasurable gift he gave her, maybe she’s incredibly grateful for his sacrifice and wants him, the real Laurance, to know that he’s safe here, with her, and he always will be. She was desperate to get him back, and now that she has him, she’s going to do everything in her power to make sure he feels appreciated and happy and safe and cared for. She’s not just tolerating a weird stranger anymore—thats her new best friend.

They’re so goddamn adorable. They turned into something so wholesome. I love them you guys.

Also, remember that I said I would go until I hit either the character limit or the image limit? I’ve hit the image limit now. We’re making this analysis journey a multi-parter. I’ll link the next part here at the bottom of the post (and likely at the top as well) once it’s uploaded! I could and I can and I will gush about these losers all day and night long. See you in part two!