#listen. i consider myself to have an overall bad taste in music

[235uranium]

tumblr users consistently have some of the most baffling takes on music

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

A very self indulgent Billford playlist!

Self indulgent, because this music does not appeal to the masses at all; these songs are limited to the stuff I listen to. So I’m being VERY transparent about my embarrassing taste in music right now! Plus, NOBODY ASKED FOR THIS!!! But I hope some of these resonate with you. This is a little collection I’ve formed in my phone notes since I got into this ship a couple weeks ago.

Not a fancy spotify playlist, it’s just links to the music on youtube. 

I’ve got this divided into parts:

-The Billford Songs

-The In This Moment Billford Songs

SO MUCH of their music is enemies/lovers perfection. I’ve thought about so many *killing you but also making out with you* pairings to this shit, because these songs were like, DESIGNED to be recycled for any and all love hate relationships, and still hit insanely hard EVERY TIME. So now that you have these songs under your belt, you have them FOREVER. You’re welcome. I haven’t even listened to all their music, I’m sure there’s more songs for this category that I simply haven’t discovered.

-The…Maybe…Billford Songs

My standards were kinda high for making this list. But every song is about your ship when you’re insane, right??? So these are the maybe’s. One’s I’ve thought about billford to, but maybe the lyrics don’t totally align.

Playlist under the cut! I wasn’t gonna ramble about each song but WHOOPS I DID 🤷‍♀️

The Billford songs:

Monophobia - Deadmau5 (Extended version, cuz it’s the best.)

THE LYRICS… THE LYRICS!!!! Definitely bill pining in theraprism. 

Propane Nightmares - Pendulum

This one WAS gonna go in the maybe’s, but I convinced myself otherwise after listening to it eighty more times, and now it’s up here on top. And fuck it, this is the *self indulgent* billford playlist, so I do what I want. I go into a fucking trance when I listen to this song, so I can’t really explain 110% why this is a billford song to me, but I’ll try.  Apparently, this song is about the heavens gate cult. So not enemies/lovers angst. But looking at the lyrics, you could interpret it as giving yourself to something greater, and coming to the realization that what you pledged yourself to is actually a very bad thing which will ultimately destroy you. (also, you can’t deny that there was some cult like manipulation happening with Bill and Ford. Sense of purpose and friendship.) Definitely billford-y when you consider Fords commitment to bill. And I’ll admit, when I listen to it, there is some pov switching. Because the “trail of fire”,  “we will be as one”, and “bring it on home” is VERY reminiscent of bill executing weirdmageddon. So overall, my interpretation of this song is Ford feeling torn about bill, feeling regret, feeling scared, and Bill of course, just wanting to bring the dimensions together. “BRING IT ON HOME!!!!”  Or I just like the song. 

Rule 34 - Fish in a Birdcage

Bestie recommended this song to me. It needs no explanation.

Painkiller - The Queenstons

…NEEDS NO EXPLANATION DSKFDSKJHF It’s similar to the above, just more… scary imo. Violent. Definitely bill being a little psycho. I really love this song. It’s very recyclable too. You have it for any toxic ship now. 

9V - The Queenstons

One of my favorite Lapfox/Halley Labs songs… I’m gonna give you the lyrics, it’s a bit hard to understand without them. In my eyes, it’s about betraying Ford. Also these vocals (and other music by this artist) works so well for bill because of the synthesized voice. 

LoveBOMB - S3RL

This is a new S3RL song. This song sounds like a tantrum, and I really liked it when I first heard it, but it didn't fit anything I was into at the time. Luckily, bill suffered a horrible breakup, and now this song has it’s meaning. 

When I'm There - S3RL

Bill thinking about joining the third dimension with Ford. 

Click Bait - S3RL

I’ve listened to this one a LOT before this, and I surprised myself with how much it aligns with bill, specifically, him tricking Ford.

Space-Time - S3RL

Speaks for itself.

Sodom & Gomorrah - Dorian Electra

This one’s just funny :)

The In This Moment Billford Songs

Sick Like Me

Sexual Hallucination

This is one of those recyclable songs, but I was damn surprised at how well the lyrics suited them, because it alludes to being out of body, possession, etc.

Blood

Half God half devil

Roots

Whore

Damn it, I cant deny this one suits them.

Big Bad Wolf

DAMN IT I wasn’t gonna include this one, but I just checked the lyrics and fuck, it works. In this moment, how are you so wonderful

The…Maybe…Billford Songs

Illuminaughty - Infected Mushroom

I'm kind of grasping at straws with these lyrics, but with a title like that? Come on

The Pretender - Foo Fighters, Infected Mushroom, Turbo Remix

Three versions, for whichever suits your fancy.

Leopold - Infected Mushroom

This one has NO LYRICS, but it has this buildup that sounds really cool, and it has an abrupt decrescendo. Reminds me of their "friendship" and how it all came crashing down.

Idolize - Dorian Electra

Hmmmmm, I just like Dorian. But the idolization thing works for obvious reasons.

That’s it! Hope you enjoy. Maybe I'll do an expansion pack of sorts if I find enough songs for a part 2.

[zarvasace]

I've been doing my hair in full, tight ponytails more often thanks to a new-ish custodial job, and recently discovered that the practice broke some of my hair around my face into wispy pusedo-bangs. I resolved to do more braids instead and complained about it to my sister.

"Well," she said, "that's just a Long Hair Experience (TM)." (I'm paraphrasing, she doesn't speak like a meme.) At the time, I replied with "yeah, I guess" but after thinking about it, I think I would say something different.

I do a lot of things every day: fail to get out of bed on time, get dressed, figure out how to do my makeup for maximum impact and minimum fuss, make food, buy food, decide what to spend my time on... A lot. I don't call myself very busy, but I do fill my days with things I consider fairly important.

A message I hear over and over again is that what I do is "enough." As a visual artist, I recently got into a conversation with another artist about how I posted something they found very good and I'm not allowed to talk about how I don't think I'm very good anymore. I think there's truth in sentiments like that—what is "enough," anyway? You do need to be happy with your work. You need to enjoy what you do.

Still, that conversation left a bad taste in my mouth. I like what I make, but I want to be better. What I do might be fine. I can be satisfied with that, and not just in art, but I also... don't have to be.

I choose to be satisfied in a lot of things. I don't really work to improve my music skills because I can do what I want with what I have. I don't look up videos about how to be a better driver or a better cook. I don't worry about the zipper of my combat boots rubbing into my long socks, because I decided to not stress about it. I do consciously try to improve my art and writing skills, though, because I'm not satisfied with where they are.

In the same way, I'm always finding little things in my life to do more efficiently or with more precision. I changed my handwriting because I didn't like it. I decided to pronounce my Ss a little differently. I'm currently making an effort to wear more tights because I like them.

People often tell me that I (or my work or whatever) am enough, and I only disagree because "enough" is a flawed concept. In the spirit of the encouragement, I do agree. I can be happy where I am, with the skills and habits I have. But, like I said, I don't have to be. If I don't like something I do, I can change it. I don't have to settle for any reason.

I guess the point is: you can do just as much as you want. Happy with your stick figures? I'm glad! You go! Unhappy with them (as everyone tells me they are when they see a drawing of mine they're impressed with)? You can learn to do better, if you want to!

In my case, I don't like the little wispy bangs. Sure, it's a Long Hair Hazard, but I don't have to be satisfied with that. I don't like them, I can do something different. It doesn't have to be dramatic. I like my life overall—at least the things I can control—and I'm pretty sure it's because I've made a lot of little decisions to improve it in ways I care about. I think I've figured out that I can control a lot about my daily life, and I'm happier because of it. :) I'm going to keep doing more braids in my hair.

TL;DR: You get to decide how good you are at something. You can keep improving or stop where you are, and either is valid. You get to decide what's important to you. Don't listen to haters.

[jintheastronaut]

since i like to consider myself a music enthusiast here are a few music releases that i have been listening to, some are albums and some are singles and with albums i’ll tell you my favorite/s from said album so let’s begin:

first and foremost when it comes to kehlani they never fail, their music always hits and i’m so excited to finally meet them next month on the 27th !!!!

my favorites from this project are:

- love like

- know better

- border

- let me down (san diego interlude)

- slow dance (feat DIXSON)

next we have:

at first i didn’t really like this album other than 2 songs and the singles because i was comparing this to her previous album (emails i can’t send) which was a bad idea but nonetheless the album has since grown on me and i vibe with it so my favorites are:

- taste

- please please please

- good graces

- bed chem

- espresso

- slim pickins

- juno (my favorite off the album)

next we have:

now i love me some big sean, i’ve been a fan of this man for years so i was excited for him to drop a new album but out of the 21 songs on this album i only liked 9 which is like half but i still expected to like more songs but it’s still a good album i like it, my favorites are:

- iconic

- typecast

- break the cycle (feat charlie wilson)

- who you are (superstar)

- yes

- it is what it is (feat gunna)

- on up

- this and that

- my life / happiness (skit) (feat ellie goulding)

up next we have:

when it comes to muni long i’ve never really paid attention to a full album of hers other than singles but she’s got a few really good songs so i took the chance to listen to her new album in its entirety and she really did it with this one ! my favorites are

- superpowers

- made for me

- make me forget

- revenge

- played yourself

- leave my baby (feat glorilla)

- the baddest

- waste no time

- ruined me

and the last album we have before we move on to singles is:

with doechii i never really paid much attention to her other than the song she had with JT from the city girls but i saw her trending on twitter so i was like ok let me give her a try and she did not disappoint, i like her vibe, her flow and her delivery so here are my favorites

- stanka pooh

- bullfrog

- boiled peanuts

- denial is a river

- catfish

- skipp

- wait

- nissan altima

- slide

- beverly hills

and now onto the singles (it’s only one single but anyway) we have:

ms halle bailey !!!! now when it comes to halle she never FAILS, with angel, in your hands and now because i love you ? she knows she’s that girl and i just love her voice period along with her sister chlöe they both slay so !!

and that’s it for today, i honestly want to make this a series even though no one will care but a series so that i can maybe introduce new music to the people who follow me or to the people who find these posts through the hashtags i’ll put for this post or just to reach the people who also like/love the singles or albums i’ll be listing/reviewing ? and just overall show music i like or have been listening to so i don’t know how consistent i’ll be with this because i’d like to do this every friday (because that’s the day new music drops 😁) (and i know that today is saturday, at least where i’m at so hush) but some fridays i might not find anything i liked so i’m not sure but for now let’s call this series “moon’s music fridays” hope you enjoy !!

[suburbanflats]

that interview i linked last night? yeah. i watched the entire thing in one sitting earlier today. i forgot i had a body so out of the way i'm gonna go over very quickly my knowledge on each youtuber featured here ~~~ zack - used to watch him before he even started pvz via another guy. but that's not relevant. he got me into gw zero - i literally picked up some of his speech patterns, he's the reason i got gw2 wolfy - i do NOT like this guy's content but i have nothing against him as a person pvzabfan - i listen to the music rips apple - never even heard of this guy until like a month ago redhead - i don't really watch him twothless - sometimes watch him if i'm bored bob - never really watched and the other two i had never heard of ~~~ i'm gonna talk about each person individually and how they answered the questions and what i got from it ~~~ so zack's segments i really enjoyed listening to but his answers on things were very well........ ZackScott. he plays it very safe even in this interview but i don't think that's bad. it's still nice to hear his opinions that he can't really talk about in traditional gameplay videos. he's not the most attention grabby or flashy guy and that came out in his answers but i found that to fine. i don't remember any specific questions to him though zero's i found SO interesting because of his position, close ties to the companies and also k... kinda villainisation within the community? it was nice seeing him act more relaxed and get a little more criticismy since his channel is overall very cheery (one of the draws imo). i especially liked listening to him talk about how people do not seem to understand his relationship to ea and popcap, since i've seen some straight up Just Incorrect things said abt him on reddit. i also appreciate that he didn't criticise things that didn't warrant criticism wolfy...... i. i did agree with him on most things. which feels weird considering i do not like his content. but it was really nice seeing him articulate his opinions beyond snappy jokes or whatever he does in his videos that makes his fans rabid beasts and i like that he was very straight forward with his answers to things pvzabfan talked about things from a music and mod standpoint, which i didn't care as much for in this case but overall still very interesting stuff apple's bits were fun, though i still don't find him a fun youtuber to watch. he did go very critism heavy which was a fun contrast to zero and zack still trying to overall be positive abt things redhead was pretty neutral for me. i don't really watch him so but it was nice seeing a bfn youtuber, since everyone else was gw or gw2 twothless' i really enjoyed to. it was cool hearing what he sounds like and his story of how he got known by zack. he was a lot more soft spoken so i did zone out a tad bit but i liked what he brought up bob's was also pretty neutral for me. i didn't really get anything from him epnn10's i didn't care to listen to (bit too meta-y for my tastes) and jj(?)'s bits were also neutral for me

~~~ the questions brought up were all pretty fun and i'd love to answer the general questions myself if possible (even if i'm a bit of a late player). the channel tailored questions were also nice and i like that you could see everyone's personalities coming through when they were talking. it really reminds me of why i gravitate towards zero's content while someone else could gravitate towards someone else's, it's not who's better it's who fits what you want from videos and humour the editing on the video was also really enjoyable to watch (yes i sat through the thing watching it, i'll mention why at the end) and i'm genuinely shocked the community hasn't tried doing this more then again considering how weird people are towards zack, zero, wolfy, and say creeps (even if he's a pvz2 youtuber people are relentless to him on reddit). i'm not surprised the reason why i was watching the visuals was so that i could see everyone's visualisers and stuff. i rather notoriously amongst my friends love accents and voices and also visualisers are eye candy for me. but it was FASCINATING seeing who's visualisers would spike where and how far they would go like zero was so fucking loud at so many points, twothless' was extremely "mild" while wolfy's raspiness made the entire visualiser get a bit silly

the video also made me reflect on my opinions on bfn and how weird it was coming to the game over 3 years late like i didn't even know about it until december 2019, to give a reference (which was brought up in the interviews) and the marketing looking in from a later date was weird as hell video link i highly recommend it

[soft-jihoonie]

Hi! I hope you’re doing well? I’m doing pretty alright myself, and I'm having lots of fun answering your reply to my ask 💓 Don’t worry, I understand! Life is pretty busy for me too (and I don’t always have wi-fi either) so no rush 💕 I just reached out to the admin to make sure that my ask arrived safely, since Tumblr really can’t be trusted hahah

I hope you got to spend your holiday in a good way! 💫

Oh, is that so? Still, I find that amazing - to be able to do it for such a long time and even moving to get to work with it… I’ve never met someone who does circus so I’m very impressed ✨ Do you still do circus related things at times or have you completely left it behind? Oh, and I’d love to hear you sing someday if you’r okay with it! ❣️ What songs do you like to sing?

You’re right, working and being a kpop fan takes way too much time so I can’t really focus on my other interests that well either 😅 When did you start writing fanfics, and what was the first fandom you wrote for? Do you have a favourite out of the ones you’ve written so far?

I like to read, draw, do cross stitch, bake, dance, take walks in the forest by my house, spend time with my pets, friends and family… but I’m a musician first and foremost, I play the violin 🎶 Can I ask about what you do at your jobs? (But it’s totally okay of you don’t want to answer that!)

Wow, that means we became exo-ls around the same time! What a coincidence 💖 And same here honestly hahah

Me too, he’s a lovely person and I simply can’t imagine exo without him 😣 I hope they get to see each other lots despite everything ❤️‍🩹Ahah wellJunmyeon caught my attention immediately, and he just keeps surprising me with how talented, dorky and kind he is 💗 I get what you mean! I was the same when I looked Vixx up, I thought I’d like Hongbin the most but then Leo appeared and I was doomed 😆💘

I see! Well it’s the same for me, I discover new groups every now and then but I’ll always return to exo in the end 🤍 Ooh, I also relate to being introverted! And the way you described him - soft yet grumpy? Sounds like a perfect catch hahah 💝 and he gets to produce so many songs too! That’s amazing ✨ I’ll definitely give going seventeen a watch then! Also I listened to q&a - it’s so upbeat and groovy! I really like it (and Unfair is such a cute song too agh) 🎵 Would you say that these songs represent your musical taste overall? 

I’ll do my best! 💞 Would you like me to use a theme or a prompt, or do you want me to come up with something completely on my own? I’m definitely open to both options!

💫 ~I wish you all the best until my next ask reaches you~ 💫

-🎅

Hey! first of all i wanted to say so so sorry for taking forever to answer this, this has been the craziest month for me, just non stop haha! I haven't done circus in a long time, I did pole dancing classes for a bit last year but stopped after getting too busy, I live super close to my old circus now so i'm considering restarting classes next year! I actually have a youtube with singing vids on, i haven't posted one in years but you can still watch vids on there https://www.youtube.com/c/SongsandSilks and i like to sing a mix of stuff but rn it's mostly songs from musicals!

I think I was like 15 when I first wrote a fanfic and it was for the dan and phil fandom haha! My fave fic i've wrote is a tie between #whipped and I Keep Falling For You!

Ooh a fellow cross stitcher! What pets do you have? Omg so cool, i always wanted to play violin as a kid haha, how long have you been playing? I work at a stationary store on the weekdays and then on the weekend I work for a car insurance company handling people notifying us of accidents

Haha i feel like always happens for me with groups, i'm like yeah that one's my bias and i'm basically never right haha

For definite, i love how soft and grumpy jihoon is, I feel bad I haven't kept track of the new seventeen comeback but i just have enough time for exo right now haha. Ahh i'm so glad you like Q&A and Unfair, sort of, I have a really varied music taste, like one minute i'll be listening to upbeat stuff and then it'll be pop punk, and then r&b haha, I just like music haha

I'm happy for you to use a theme, I know i'll love whatever you do!!

Also to answer your other ask, yes omg i saw yeol's new mv, i was like counting down the days to it coming out and then I was so hyped when chingu line was in the mv, literally had me grinning so much. I listen to the song at least once a day at this point

I hope you're doing well!!

[expectingtofly]

Claire Novak's (Surprisingly) Not-So-Lame Day

2k

this fic is written for @dean-has-great-taste as part of @starrynightdeancas' gift exchange. thanks sophie for organizing this, it was a lot of fun <33 and i hope you enjoy this, gen!!

*****

How did Claire find herself joining Dean, Cas, and Jack for an excursion to the mall?

Well.

Cas had texted her yesterday, with an extreme amount of emojis and emoticons that took some time to decipher, asking if she wanted to go shopping with him, Dean, and Jack. Apparently Jack needed new clothes and they needed a gift for Eileen’s birthday coming up, and maybe they could go bowling or something afterwards.

And normally she would’ve said no way because hanging out with old guys was lame and she didn’t like little kids, but she needed an excuse to get out of Jody and Donna’s weekend plans of cleaning out the garage. Plus, Kaia needed to study for a test—she actually enjoyed school, the weirdo—and had requested no distractions.

So that’s how she found herself sitting in the back of the Impala next to a carseat, listening to one of Dean’s old cassette tapes (which wasn’t too bad, but she’d never admit it).

“What’s that?” Jack asked, stretching against his carseat straps to jab at one of the pins Claire wore on her leather jacket.

“It’s the lesbian flag,” she told him. Cas looked back at them from the front seat, smiling.

“This one?” Jack pointed to the rainbow pin on her pocket.

“It’s the pride flag.”

Jack considered that for a moment before announcing, “I want one. And this one.” He pointed to the mothman pin on her lapel, then the big-eyed, green alien. “And this one... and this one, and this one.” (Alex said she had more pins than leather on her jacket, but sue her, she liked making her clothing her own).

Jack, it seemed, also liked… unique clothing. The kid was wearing rain boots even though the sun was out and overalls with embroidered flowers. He dressed weird, there was no way around it. But so did Cas, so there was probably no hope for him, poor kid.

“Okay,” she decided. “I know where to get you some.”

Jack beamed and swung his legs. “Don’t kick the seat,” Dean told him, and Jack pouted at him.

Claire was surprised Dean even let a carseat in his precious Impala. Pulling out her phone, she asked, “Can we listen to my music?”

Dean started to respond with a “Hell no,” but Cas spoke up first, “Of course.”

Dean spluttered as Claire connected to the bluetooth connector Sam had finally convinced Dean to install. The old man didn’t realize it was the 21st century, apparently.

“I wanna listen to Gaga!” Jack said, leaning over to look at her phone.

At first she thought that was some baby talk, then she realized Jack was into pop music. Ugh. But it would annoy Dean, so...

Leaning in conspiratorially with Jack, she let him scroll through her phone and choose which song to play. When “Born This Way” started filtering through the car, Dean groaned.

“Really?” he asked, sending her a glare in the rearview mirror. Mission accomplished.

Jack clapped along and Cas turned the music up louder. “Great choice, Jack,” he said.

Dean, for all his grumbling, didn’t turn down the music, and Claire caught him glancing at Cas, who tapped his fingers on his thigh to the beat. Dean looked like he was fighting back a smile and Claire rolled her eyes. Dude was so whipped.

When they parked at the mall, Cas grabbed Jack’s hand before he could sprint across the parking lot. “You have to look both ways,” he reminded him gently, and Jack nodded.

“Claire’s gonna buy me pins,” he said, jumping onto the curb.

“Yup.” Claire pat her jacket pocket. “Good ol’ credit card fraud.”

“Woah, now,” Dean started to protest.

“You and Sam are the ones who taught me!” Claire reminded him.

“We’ll pay for them,” Cas said, opening the door to the mall. Jack skipped inside, his rain boots squeaking on the tiled floor.

“We’re doing what now?” Dean asked Cas, taking his hand. Gross.

“Come on, Jack,” Claire said, catching up to the toddler. “Let’s go get you some style.” Over her shoulder, she called, “Meet up with you guys later.”

“Have fun!” Cas called.

“Don’t get kidnapped,” Dean added.

As they distanced themselves from the old geezers, Jack grabbed her hand, and Claire startled a little. “Do you like dinosaurs?” he asked.

Someone passing by gave them a smile, and Claire realized people probably thought Jack was her younger brother. She let him hold her hand anyway. “Sure.”

“What’s your favorite? Mine is the bon-ta-sore-us.” He sounded out the word carefully.

“Don’t know. What’s the one with the spiky horns?”

“Ti-ce-a-tops?”

“Yeah, that sounds cool.”

“That’s my second favorite!” He started jumping from one colored tile to the next. “And the T-Rex. That’s Dee’s favorite. And Dad likes the steg-a-sore-us.” He peered up at her. “Did you know he got to see dinosaurs? Right in front of him!”

“You know what that means, right?” He shook his head. “He’s super old. He’s basically a dinosaur himself.”

Jack’s eyes widened. “He’s a dinosaur,” he repeated in a hushed whisper.

“Yup.” Spotting Hot Topical, she headed that way. “You should tell him that.”

Inside the store, Jack let go of her hand to grab a stuffed cat. “Claire! Like yours!”

Claire rolled her eyes. “Yeah.” So, she still had the Grumpy Cat Cas had bought her. She wasn’t cruel enough to throw it away when the guy was trying so hard to make up for walking around in her dead dad’s body. Plus, the stuffed animal was kinda cute. Not that she was going to tell anyone that.

“Here ya go,” she told Jack, finding a box of pins at the register. She brought the box down to his level and Jack ran over to look inside.

“I want a Doc McStuffins pin,” he said, plunging his hand into the box.

“I don’t know if they have those.”

As they rooted through the box of pins, she heard familiar voices and looked up to see Dean and Cas walking inside.

“What are you guys doing here?” she asked.

“I like this store,” Cas said and Dean rolled his eyes. Among the pleather and black, Cas’ dingy old trench coat—over a Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt instead of a suit—and Dean’s ratty flannel and boots only looked more ridiculous. She took it back—even Jack dressed better than them.

“You guys don’t have to be in here,” she told them.

“What, we’re too old?” Dean asked defensively.

“Yeah, actually.”

Cas poked at a toy and it squeaked. God, could they be any more embarrassing?

“Dad!” Jack called, holding out a rainbow pin. “Look, they have soo many.” Cas joined Jack in going through the pins and Claire asked Dean, giving his outfit a meaningful look,

“Was the Army Surplus store too trendy for you?”

“Did they kick you out of Sephora for buying up all the eyeliner?“ Dean shot back.

Touché. In a truce, she held out a pin with the bisexual flag. She wasn’t really sure what Dean identified as, if he even gave it any thought, but guessed it was close enough. “For you.”

Dean rolled his eyes but took it. “I’m not weighing down my jacket with this crap, though.”

“No, ‘course not, that would mean having any sort of style.”

“Can I help you with anything?” asked an employee with two nose rings and jewelry up and down their ears— so cool. Claire saw the way their eyes flicked between them, probably thinking they made a weird group, and she took a step back, trying to silently communicate that yes, she was shopping with them, but no, she was not as lame as them.

“Just looking,” Dean told them.

“I like your drawings,” Jack said and the employee looked down at their arms which were littered with tattoos.

“Thanks.”

“My dad has a drawing. It’s Enochian.”

The employee—Wren, by the name tag—looked at Cas with new respect in their eyes. “Language of the angels. Sick.”

Cas looked pleased. “Thank you. It’s come in handy more than once.”

The employee went back to looking confused and, starting to walk away, told them to call if they needed anything.

“Do you want anything?” Cas asked Claire, and Claire looked through the box. She grabbed a pentagram pin and, seeming to copy her, Jack grabbed another one, clutching several pins already in his fists.

“You like bees, right?” Claire asked Cas, spotting a “Save the Bees” pin. She held it up for him.

Cas’ eyes brightened. “That’s a wonderful message.” He glanced back at Dean and frowned. “Dean, they’re not going to bite.”

Claire looked over to see Dean shying away from a few emo teens. “Look like it,” Dean muttered, joining them. Jack lifted up his hands, asking to be hoisted up. Dean set him on his hip and Jack showed him the pins he’d selected. He held a dinosaur pin to Dean’s collar.

“Do you want one, Dee?”

“He’s too lame,” Claire piped up. Not for the first time, she noticed the healed over piercing mark on Dean’s right ear and pointed to it. “Looks like he used to be cool, though.”

“Yeah, guess so,” Dean said dryly. His hand went to his earlobe. “Pierced it myself, in high school.”

“I think you’re still cool,” Cas told him, and Claire fake-gagged, making Jack giggle.

Cas took the pins to the cash register where Wren rang them up. Dean added the bisexual flag pin and Claire threw in a pair of spiky earrings, because, hey, they were paying.

“15.36,” Wren told them, dropping the pins into a bag.

“My dad’s a dinosaur,” Jack told them, trying to see over the edge of the counter. Wren raised an eyebrow, Cas looked surprised, and Claire stifled a laugh.

“Claire, help me,” Jack said, grabbing the bag from Cas as they exited the store. Moving to the side, Claire helped him attach the pins to his overalls. A smiley face, a pride flag, a grinning Stitch, a sunflower, a dinosaur, and the pentagram. The pins clacked as Jack tugged at his overalls, trying to look at them all. Overall, a chaotic look, but it kinda matched his vibe.

“Lookin’ good,” she told him, and Jack beamed.

“I’m like you!”

Alright, she wouldn’t take it that far, but, “Yeah, close enough.”

Cas attached the “Save the Bees” pins to his trench coat pocket and it ended up crooked. Rolling her eyes, Claire said, “Let me.”

She reattached the pin and stepping back to look it over, decided, “You could actually make that coat look cool if you added more stuff to it.”

Cas looked down at himself. “Thank you.”

“Nothing’s gonna save that sweatshirt, though.” Couldn’t let his ego get too big.

“Dean said he liked it,” Cas said, glancing back at Dean, who was shooting an evil eye at Claire. He quickly wiped it off his face and draped an arm over Cas’ shoulders.

“Yeah, it’s uh… Charming.” He guided Cas away from Claire. “Don’t listen to her, she still thinks sarcasm is a personality trait.”

“Screw you, old man,” she called. Jack skipped after them and she checked her phone to see Kaia had texted her: How’s everything going? They drive you crazy yet?

They’re so weird, she texted back. Then she added, They’re not too bad.

“Come on, Jack,” she said, hurrying to catch up with him, Dean, and Cas. “Let’s go get our ears pierced.”

“Yay!” Jack cheered. He grabbed her hand and tugged her down the mall.

“Woah, woah, you’re not doing that,” Dean protested like the wet blanket he was.

“You can get yours pierced too,” Claire told him, and he faltered,

“I don’t want, we’re not—“

“You know you want to.” She let Jack lead her away and Dean called after them,

“We're never bringing you shopping again!”

Grinning, she turned to shout over her shoulder, “You know you love me!”

[asian-hero]

oh also, wouldn’t it be funny for like, momo, iida, bakugou (basically the parent friends) finding out that their s/o listens to their music on full blast when they’re using earbuds/headphones and is just choosing to go deaf?? (totally not exposing myself lmao -❤️)

A/N: Honestly that’s me too, and every time I have to get my hearing checked I get nervous because of how loud I play my music 

Bakugou Katsuki

Katsuki would be the first to judge you, but have absolutely no room to talk

This man, while it may seem as though he’s reckless and careless, he’s anything but. Of course, he goes to bed at eight, but he also makes sure that he eats a balanced dish for every meal of the day in order to get all of the nutrients that’s needed to sustain his body, he also keeps up with his hygiene, and he also makes sure that whenever he’s listening to music or watching a video, he tries his best to turn it to the lowest volume he can while still being able to hear what’s playing

Though, of course, with his quirk comes some negative setbacks, such as being hard of hearing, which is why he often ends up yelling most of the time, just so he can hear himself and make sure that he’s saying the right thing

However, when he walks up to you one day, screaming your name, he’s extremely surprised to see that you don’t flinch, or even acknowledge that he’s there. At first, he just assumes that you’re trying to be a smart ass by “pretending” to not hear him, so he yells your name again, a bit louder than before. When you still don’t respond, he wonders if he did anything to upset you that day, and takes a seat next to you, finally gaining your attention when he puts his hand on your thigh

Of course, you jump slightly, turning to face him while pulling an earbud out of your ear, looking at him with such a confused expression while asking if he needed anything from you. He stares at you for a few moments, just silently wondering how loud your music was playing for you not to be able to hear him. So, like the gremlin he is, he pulls your other earbud out, and puts them both in his own ears, finding himself surprised when the noise blasting from your phone hurts his ears

Not even a second had passed when he rips them out and yells at you about why your music is up so loud, if you want to go deaf, if you have hearing problems. When you tell him that’s just how you like it, he looks at you as if you’re the stupidest person on the planet. 

Snatching your phone away, he holds down the volume button, and you watch as it slowly lowers down to a more acceptable range for him. He then shoves the earbuds back into your ears and moves your phone away from your grasp, not allowing you to even try and touch the settings

Though you’re annoyed at the fact that your music is much quieter, you feel a sense of giddiness in the pit of your stomach, knowing that Katsuki cares about you, even if it is in his own harsh, abrasive way

Resting your head on his shoulder, you close your eyes, allowing yourself to drift into another place, all the while Katsuki has a pretty pink blush on his cheeks, though if anyone were to call him out, he’d shove you off and vehemently deny it

Iida Tenya

Tenya, while he means well, can often be overbearing and obnoxious when it comes to the sake of your health

Most of the time, he’s extremely strict and responsible, purely because that’s how he’s always been, ever since he was a little kid, but he also tends to be a bit more strict when it comes to you, because he wants you to thrive and be happy and healthy, so he often asks you questions like “have you eaten yet?” or “when did you go to sleep last night?”

It’s very sweet, and you know he comes from a place of good intentions, but sometimes it can be rather annoying

One day, while the two of you were just relaxing on the couch, with him reading a book and you scrolling through your phone, your music blasting through your headphones, he noticed just how loud you were playing your music. After all, he was able to hear it, and he wasn’t even wearing them, so he worried about how loud it was for you. Setting down his book, he gently called your name, waiting to see your response. When you didn’t respond to him, he called once more, except a little louder, and in the tone he usually reserved for scolding your classmate. When you still didn’t respond, he moved himself in front of your face, making you freeze a bit in surprise, before a cute smile brightens your face

Pulling your headphones out, you tilt your head in confusion, asking if everything was okay, how his book was, just mundane things that were making Tenya question whether or not he should scold you for your unhealthy habit. However, his rational side took over, and he asked how loud you were listening to your music, since he could hear it

When you sheepishly smiled, rubbing your neck in embarrassment, he sighed, shaking his head as he started his little rant about how you shouldn’t listen to your music that loud, that it could cause serious damage to your eardrums, and that it would impact your overall health. Of course, he didn’t use his “strict” voice with you, but he did make it sound as though it wasn’t a request to turn down your volume, more so of a demand. You told him that you’d make more of an effort to be conscious of your volume, and that seemed as good enough of an answer for him

So, as the two of you got back into your positions, with you resting your back against his arm, and him going back to the page he bookmarked, you two fell into another comfortable silence, with your music being lowered down significantly

Of course, whenever he wasn’t with you, you’d subconsciously turn it back up, being used to it blaring through your headphones, but whenever he was with you, he’d simply take your phone from your hand, lowering the volume while giving you such a sweet smile that you couldn’t really deny him

Yaoyorozu Momo

There’s a reason for why many people considered Momo to be the “mom friend” of the group

She’s always the one that’s checking up on her friends, making sure that they ate well that day, if they were doing alright, and if anyone needed something, she’d be the first to show up on their doorstep with at least several different kinds of items

When it comes to you, her partner whom she absolutely adores and wants to see succeed in everything that you set your mind to, she almost becomes a mother hen of sorts. She’ll always be fussing about, making sure that you’re as comfortable as possible, even going out of her way to get you things that she knows you like, just so she can see that adorable smile across your face

Momo also texts you at least five times a day, one saying good morning, one asking if you had anything for breakfast, another for lunch, asking if you wanted to eat dinner together, and finally, one that told you good night and just how much she loves you. Every day she texts you that same five core messages without fail, and if you don’t respond to her within thirty minutes or so, she’ll just show up to wherever you are and check in on you herself

So, while the two of you were working out together, of course in her own private gym, she finally noticed one of your bad habits: having your music turned up to max volume while having your headphones in

At first, she was simply doing some cardio, while not-so-subtly checking you out as you lifted weights. However, she could hear something very faintly, almost as though someone were playing music from the floor above. But as she finished up her run and headed closer to you, she noticed that the noise was getting progressively louder and louder, up until she was standing right next to you, and she could hear your music perfectly clear. She waited until you finished up your final set, not wanting to startle you when you were working out, but as soon as you put the weights back, wiping the sweat from your forehead, she simply plucked out one of your earbuds, a small frown on her face

When you asked her what was wrong, she answered you by asking if your ears were hurting, or if you needed something to aid your hearing. At first, you were confused, unsure of where she got that idea. However, as she continued to glance at you, and then to your headphone, then back to you, you finally realized that she could hear you from across the gym. Laughing, you told her that you like to blast your music whenever you’re working out, and that you didn’t mean to disrupt her workout

She instead told you that you could never bother her, but she was concerned about your hearing, and suggested that you lower it just a bit, or, even better, just play it through a speaker, since she didn’t mind your music taste. Because you didn’t want to worry her, since she was always making sure that you were happy and healthy, you agreed to play your music out loud instead

So now every time the two of you go to workout, you connect your phone to the speaker, and the two of you jam out while you work out, and your sessions often end with the two of you dancing together, albeit a little silly. Though you wouldn’t change it for the world

[sigynpenniman]

Julian Bashir Playlist Time!!

Apple Music playlist (if you're a heathen and subscribe to apple music like me) here

I know that there's plenty of people making playlists, but I really feel like this is an under-utilized brand of fan content. Instead of attempting to create a list of songs that Julian would listen to, or a playlist of songs which were all lyrically directly applicable (though there certainly some of those in here) regardless of genre, I tried to create something which captured, above all, his vibes instead, by choosing songs that balance at least somewhat relevant lyrical content with the energy or feel that I associate with the character. What it means matters, but not as much as how it makes you feel. That said, I signed up for apple music and read a TON of those overwrought iTunes store album review descriptions while I was making this, so I have a whole lot to say about all my choices here. In depth explanation of my symbolism and methodology behind each song under the keep reading. (I love tumblr. I want to write 1,000 words of analysis about why I picked songs to represent Julian Bashir and some of you are gonna read it. This is where I get to pretend to be one of those iTunes music writers. I feel joy.)

Good Morning - Two Door Cinema Club TDCC's Gameshow is high on my favorite albums of all time list for nebulous reasons I myself don't really understand. It was this album, though not this song (but one that will pop up later) that actually inspired me to make this playlist to begin with, as for some reason, from the color scheme of the album cover, to the overall vibe, to the ever-present references to illness, injury, surgery and healers in the lyrics, the whole thing feels inescapably Julian to me. And with an opening like I'm a sinner/I'm the victim/I'm an alien when I'm myself/I'm a healer/I'm a fixer/I'm a present danger to my health/I'm so strong/Doing what I'm supposed to do/ There's something wrong/With somebody like me, it's hard NOT to think about Julian when you hear this song, and I can't think of a better way to start this off.

Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood I think there's a joke somewhere about bisexual people all liking Sweater Weather, and yeah, I resemble that remark. Sweater Weather is just good. You'll notice there's a sort of chill-indie-alt-electronic thing going here, and that is very much the vibe I'm sticking with. Sweater Weather slots in beautifully, both sonically and thematically. As the singer looks to warm and protect the person he's with from the cold, you can't help but feel a loving coziness coming off of this one. It always makes me feel cozy, at least, so it's here.

Gooey - Glass Animals I have nothing to analyze here because the artists themselves have said that the lyrics of this song have no meaning, they're just meant to capture a vibe, and capture it they do. Close your eyes and ride the vibes of this one. The energy is right, I love it, it belongs here.

Blue - Mika I could probably write a couple hundred words on Blue alone, in any context. This might be my beloved Mika's magnum Opus. Opening the song with the inherently counterintuitive lyric Blue is a feminine color, Mika manages to pack it ALL into this 3 minute song: questions about gender; concepts of sadness, joy, and their intersections; of the perception of melancholy as a flaw and loving people despite, or maybe because of, those "flaws" and anything else about them; a powerful first person reassurance that made me start weeping in my car the first time I heard it; just the phrase "why are humans cruel to you." And oh boy, ARE there questions of gender. Why is blue NOT considered a feminine color? Is that a good thing, a bad thing? In 3 minutes of artful poetry, Mika manages to wrap up sadness, love, joy, pain, the feminine that exists within the masculine and the masculine that exists within the feminine, in the simple color of blue and then, in one lyric, validates it all. And on a much simpler and more obvious note, this is in fact all a philosophic musing on the symbolic meaning of the color we see Julian wearing almost all the time (when he's not in uniform, almost all his civvies are also shades of blue.) I feel like this is one of those songs that's hard to analyze because it does what music and poetry does best - communicate something that cannot be communicated any other way. With these broad themes of loving others around the things they can't love about themselves, you can decide for yourself if this one is coming FROM Julian or directed AT him, either works. I find myself struggling for exactly the words to explain this one, but listen to it; you'll understand.

Little Dark Age - MGMT Another choice with no obvious lyrical relevance, but the tonal fit was just too good to pass up. The vibes pass.

The City - The 1975 This song is one of several present because it leans on medical symbolism to get its point across, though I would be lying if I said I fully understood what that point was. But the entire second verse, apparently about the song's subject suffering from some kind of illness and reassuring him that the next one's the M.D./You'll be feeling just fine, seems somehow to transmit the discomfort of illness directly to the listener. I don't know how or why, but the effectiveness of the empathy the second half of this song elicits, in me at least, puts it squarely in the "odd medical vibes" category.

Surgery - Two Door Cinema Club THIS is the song that inspired this whole playlist, mostly because of its title and general vibe. Another example (of many) of medical/anatomical references in this album (another of the songs is called Fever, etc), this song just feels like Julian to me.

The Other Side Of Paradise - Glass Animals I really like Glass Animals. That is probably becoming obvious. Aside from its delightfully cohesive vibes, this song opens with what's simultaneously the slyest and most brazen gay lyric I have heard on the radio recently, as the male singer says When I was young and stupid my love left to be a rock and roll star/HE told me... The song seems to be about a man whose male lover left him in pursuit of fame and fortune, and eventually ends up with a woman, leaving the singer behind. It's got simultaneously subtle and obvious gay themes, it's got confused love affairs, it's got so much bisexual energy. I cannot think of anything that could be more Julian.

Sit Next To Me - Foster The People Kind of like Sweater Weather, this whole song is built around a rather cute and sweet "sit next to me," and you can't help but feel a bit warm and cozy when you listen to it. I think it pairs with sweater weather well, and slides in with the rest of the picks very nicely.

Nothing Better - The Postal Service (the original band of the lead singer of Death Cab For Cutie) Another example of heavy surgical symbolism, the very first lyric of this song is Will someone please call a surgeon. This is actually a duet, and the singers speak of their real hearts to represent their emotional ones. Something about Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures always gets me and always will. And it vibes good. It vibes so, so good.

&Run - Sir Sly Sir Sly's &Run is my favorite song for driving too fast. It does an amazing job of musical onomatopoeia, talking about running while making you want to run. It's a song about running out of plans and running as far as you can instead, which is all very "I'm illegal by definition so I went to the farthest possible reaches of space." And like everything else here, it just feels good. It's also one of the only highlights here that I can actually see Julian listening to.

Cosmic Love - Florence and the Machine It's no coincidence that it seems like most of us who are invested in Julian Bashir are some flavor of genderqueer, be it trans, nonbinary, questioning, or something else entirely - the man's got a Gender with a capital G, and there's a whole lot going on in there. Between the words that were written for him on the page, and the words that were actually spoken, and the way he carries himself, Julian always seems caught between the white, western, and frequently toxic masculinity that the writers often seemed to want to imbue him with, and the very different, racially and culturally distinct masculinity Sid actually brought. But there's an undeniable element of the feminine in Julian too, at least by a traditional definition. The presence of this part of him at all, much less the fact that, in-universe, it's the more traditionally "feminine" parts of himself - the caregiving and nurturing aspects - that Julian seems proudest of or to like most about himself, is a large part of what makes his character so interesting, at least to me. So there was no way I was getting out of this without acknowledging that somehow, and I can't think of a better way to acknowledge a complicated relationship with the feminine side of one's own gender than with this world's own Celtic divine feminine, Florence Welch. I can't think of any better artist, at least that I know of, to represent femininity as a nonspecific ethereal goddess-concept. I basically spun the wheel of Florence here, as anything would have worked, but Cosmic Love felt very appropriate for a character who does in fact live in space. There could even be some Garashir in here, I think.

Dream Sweet In Sea Major - ミラクルミュージカル, or Miracle Musical, a sister act made up of members of Tally Hall I also couldn't leave off without acknowledging Julian's affection for classic lounge music, especially since it's the only thing about his taste in music that we actually know. But instead of tacking on some rat pack, instead I'm polishing this off with the incredibly chaotic and somehow also perfectly cohesive and calm Dream Sweet in Sea Major. It's got all of the vibes of a lounge singer but gone completely off the rails, which just seems perfect somehow. And it's also a very nice feeling to be left with, so it seems only right to put it at the end.

and if you've read all of this, I love you. Y'all didn't know I was this into music did you. but I am. oh boy. I AM.

[phoebe-delia]

Hello, Phoebe. I’m back :)

How are you doing? Just put whatever you feel like here! This ask is the Phoebe Show; make it yours!

Lyssa, it is always a pleasure to see you in my notifs, but especially in my ask box! Thank you for filling it with kind words, awesome prompts, and fun questions for me to play around with.

This blog is the closest I imagine I'll ever come to having the Phoebe Delia Show, and since you have given me free rein with this ask, I shall endeavor to make it count.

I've gotten some incredible asks about my interests, but I'm going to answer a question that has been asked by exactly no one and rank Taylor Swift's albums.

This will be in order of my favorites; this isn't necessarily a reflection of what I think the rank would be in terms of objective quality; instead, this is based on my own personal enjoyment of the albums.

As always, I will provide a little explanation as to my reasoning, because I am nothing if not indulgent.

I actually really surprised myself with this ranking; as I looked through the albums I evaluated each by counting the number of songs I liked off of each one, and the ranking I thought I had has now changed. (I will explain in my comments!).

So! With that said. The Phoebe Delia Show Presents: Ranking Taylor Swift Albums.

1. Speak Now--To me, there is only one skip on this entire album; it is bop after bop. (If you're wondering, I think "Innocent" is the skip). Every song is just fun! I should also point out that this is also my favorite in part because Taylor said it was inspired by theater/Broadway.

2. 1989--I'm gonna be honest and say that I'm ashamed to have sort of slept on this album for so long. Don't get me wrong--I listened to and enjoyed it a lot when it came out, but I always sort of automatically pushed it further down on my list in favor of my 3rd choice because I liked the songs on my 3rd choice more. But now that I'm older and my music taste has somewhat evolved, I think I can say that 1989 is my 2nd favorite. There are truly no skips on this album. Yes, I know I said SN has a skip, but that album holds a special place in my heart so it gets number 1. I was thinking it over today, and while Taylor has always been amazing, I think this is the album that launched her into superstardom. We, her fans, knew she could do anything, but she still shocked us all by making the transition to an entirely pop album. Remember the "Blank Space" and "Bad Blood" music videos? I still think those are two fo my favorite of her mvs, though LWYMMD is a close second.

3. Red--Oh, my beloved. This album is wonderful. I have a lot of memories associated with this one, particularly watching the WANGBT music video and the IKYWT parody with the fucking goat that makes me laugh so hard even to this day. I am SO pumped for TV in November!! And while, yes, "All Too Well" is my favorite song on the album (and my fave TS song overall), "Holy Ground" is slept on and amazing.

4. folklore--This album is probably the most meaningful to me of them all just because of when it came out. We as an entire global community were struggling, and I know I had immense privilege to have been healthy and safe during that time. Still, like everyone else, I was depressed, lonely, and felt trapped inside my home and inside my mind. I will never forget listening to this album in my room and gasping when I heard TIMT. Not long after this album came out, I also lost my family dog, and this album was essential in helping me grieve. This album saved my sanity and gave me a cathartic outlet. I will be forever grateful to Taylor for writing it.

5. Reputation--This is another one for which I have a lot of memories. I will never forget when the LWYMMD music video came out and the world lost its entire mind. Taylor said there are still easter eggs we missed and I want someone to find them please and thank you. There are a few songs on this album that I'm not obsessed with, but the storytelling is so cohesive and creative. On the surface, one might think Taylor was being petty or whiny, but if you look closer--and remember the utter hell she was going through at the time--I think there are deeper meanings than her just getting back at Kim and Kanye.

6. Fearless--Oh, this album. It has some of her most iconic songs: YBWM, "White Horse," "Love Story"," "Forever and Always," etc. I truly wish I could tie this one with Rep, but I think Rep edges this one out *just* barely with songwriting/lyrical quality. I also don't know if I'll ever fully get over the fact that she kept "Mr. Perfectly Fine" from us for so long, but I suppose I can consider the 10 min "All Too Well" on Red TV to be proper repayment. ;)

7. evermore--I could not believe my eyes when she announced this album. How can this woman write this fast and this well!! I will never forget listening to "champagne problems," "no body, no crime," and "tolerate it" in particular. I ranked this after reputation just bc I think I enjoy listening to Rep more, but some of the songwriting on this album is *chefs kiss.*

8. Lover--I know, I know, I'm sorry. I don't want to put this one so low on the list but I just kind of can't put it any higher? I really love some of the songs on this album, but SYGB is too sad for me, "London Boy" kinda annoys me I'm sorry, and I just never really got into INTHAF or "Afterglow." But, that said, every other song on the album is a bop, even ME!, although I listen to the live version over the studio recording. It's a great album though.

9. Taylor Swift (Debut album)--I feel a little bad ranking this so low but I cannot honestly tell you that this album is better than her others, and something has to be last on the list. There are also some great, classic songs on this album. So, instead of being critical, I'm instead going to say that I remember vividly seeing a snippet of "Teardrops On My Guitar" advertised on Disney Channel for Radio Disney. It makes me smile to think of how far she's come since then.

And that concludes this episode of The Phoebe Delia Show! Tune in next time where I post some other self-indulgent opinion about one of my interests and hope it reaches people who care to read it :)

Send me an ask about Harry Potter, broadway/musicals, The West Wing, and/or Taylor Swift! Or just about life in general :).

Also, I have a playlist of my 99 most listened-to songs of the year so far. Pick a number 1--99 and send me an ask and I'll write you a fic based on it!

[oneboxofmatches]

Hi!!! May I request a HP romantic and friendship matchup on both eras? (Preferably male), thanks in advance! 💞

𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗦 + 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘

19, Libra, Neutral Good, enneagram is 4w5, Ravenclaw, and my patronus spirit is swan. Bi Pan Genderfluid girl using pronouns of She/Her or He/Him. A friend of mine told me that I (kinda) look like Marinette from 𝗠𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗟𝗮𝗱𝘆𝗯𝘂𝗴, Musa from 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝘅 𝗖𝗹𝘂𝗯, and Alexandra Trese from 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲 (a Netflix animated series), but the exception is I'm short (5'1.2") plus sized Southeast Asian woman with Spanish descent that has messy/wavy brunette medium hair, chocolate brown eyes, oriental skin and a small beauty mark on the forehead. My sense of fashion is in between emo and boyish plus korean glam.

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬

Distant and shy at first cause' I dunno how to initiate a conversation, but a total opposite if I open up---friendly, ambivert, witty, laughing loudly on a daily basis, talkative, awkward, daydreamer (I got embarrassed from knocking at the door even I'm inside the classroom 😂), EXTREMELY clumsy, secretly likes affection, easily overwhelmed, prone to melt over any wholesomeness, flusters on compliments, lightly blushes on cheesy banters, sarcastic person with a lowkey crackhead energy citing meme references, and talented girl who can be your no. 1 supporter and unashamed to be true to myself. In terms of leadership, I only educate and guide than being a prefect (I might take the role seriously), and will lift my group when there's lacking/incompleteness. About doing projects in school, I become too extra and prepared for efforts, but I'll forget the process in the end.

People thought I'm a demure self-effacing woman that looks "idealistic" or "one of a kind," (due to my protective parents, a reason why I've never been in a relationship) but the truth is, I'm eloquent, warm-hearted, willig to help, kind, intelligent, supportive, nice, creative, enthusiastic, determined, tough, competitive, and feisty outside, but a real softie that can be childish and dramatic crybaby filled with doubts, frustrations, and insecurities with fear of failure that pushes off the limits to to please everyone, yet I still managed to be stronger than ever, even it's a slow burn process. I can be intimidating, sassy, and a douchebag if I receive ends. Immature, headstrong, perfectionist, demanding, hesitant, jumpy, very indecisive, overthinker, quick-tempered, sensitive, and anxious (no joke, my nervousness makes me think worse scenario will arrive or I might break a belonging due to my carelessness). Though can be procrastinator and arrogant, I raised as a religious 𝖺𝗇𝖽 diplomatic person, willing to fight what I believe (including my dreams) 𝖺𝗇𝖽 what is right. In addition, I have a habit of staying up late and doing sign of the cross to ease nervousness.

Blunt but the loudest idiotic feeling-brokenhearted and bitter friend in the group who fangirl a lot, swears like sailor, will act like a silent backstabber on people that we loathe, will crack up over your stupid antics before helping, and bring gossips, but a hopeless romantic who tends to banter with sarcasms or pick up lines as an endearment (but gets grumpy if I received sappy or offensive one), still generous and concerned in a subtle way.

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦

My hobbies are singing, drawing, roleplaying, listening to music, chatting/browsing on social media, conceptualizing, writing, and reading some stuffs. 𝖨'𝗅𝗅 𝗂𝗇𝖼𝗅𝗎𝖽𝖾 making corniest jokes/puns, 𝗌𝗅𝖾𝖾𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗀, and dancing when nobody's around or walking like a model if I feel so bold (even I'm terrible at both xD).

𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Loves kittens, eating a lot, cartoons, watching YouTube videos (mostly pageants, ASMR, edit audios, and mukbangs), also enjoys playing games on my sister's PSP. Sucker for arts, choir, night sky, makeup, fun/deep/dumb conversations, Christianity, documentaries (about saints, real crime stories, and inspirational people), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and writings, chilling both indoors and outdoors. Beside that, my music taste are like late 90s-2000s songs (mostly rock, pop, and country) sometimes kpop and ppop, chocoholic, and a sweetooth as well.

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Things that I hate are stereotyping, HUGE creepy crawlies (spiders, toads, snakes, and cockroaches), firecracker sounds, being left out, loneliness, heart break, blackout, and judgemental people. One random fact about me is, I 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 vent out EVERYTHING I despise in my entire existence---from bad soap operas to toxicity and worse scenarios in real life, because it's a big deal for me, and I consider forcing me to do what I'm not into and manipulating me as my major pet peeves.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗦

In terms of triggers...I only have two which are ta𝖨king about divorce/annullment/separation because I came from a generational broken family and religion/beliefs discrimination, cause' there are reasonings that doesn't makes sense because some are too hypocritical.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗔

My best assets are smile, eyes, personality, singing voice, artistic skills, writings, intelligence, and oratorical skills...so I can consider myself as a singer, artist, orator, and a top student who's a former active campus ministry member with three roles (choir leader, psalm singer, and reader). Currently an incoming college freshman, learning how to cook and have so many interests, to the point I don't know what I'm into because of my dreams to become a popular Filipino YouTuber, a novelist, and being part of a successful chorale competing internationally...I also consider joining pageants at school too once the pandemic ends, but maybe.

Thank you so, so much for requesting! I had a lot of fun with this one (as you can tell by some of the really long answers lol) and I hope you enjoy!!

In the Golden Trio era, I romantically pair you with…

CEDRIC DIGGORY

One of the most beautiful things about Cedric is that although he may show some introverted tendencies, he still manages to have a natural gift for connecting to others and allowing them to feel comfortable enough to open up. Really, your initial distance and shyness don't last nearly as long towards Cedric as they would with most other people.

Hearing your laughter brings the widest, cheesiest grin to Cedric’s face. Not only does he adore seeing you happy, but he also recognizes that your anxiety, insecurities, and strong emotions can sometimes cloud up your demeanor. Therefore, it brings him comfort knowing that (for the moment) you’re finding joy. He thrives when you thrive!

However, as much as he loves seeing your more energetic and happier self, it goes without saying that he’s the best comfort for when you’re not having the best day.

Cedric is an excellent listener, so he’ll most likely let you talk without interruption for as long as you need before even saying a word. He wants to make sure he truly understands your current state before acting. He may take a few seconds to process everything after you finish speaking, but then he’ll help you tackle whatever problems you’re facing. He’s especially talented at giving words of affirmation.

Cedric’s listening also comes in handy whenever you talk about your interests! He genuinely loves hearing about the things you’re interested in solely for the fact that you’re interested in them. Side note: you can count on him to be at any music performances, pageants, etc. you may have -- this guy is truly your #1 supporter.

Cedric’s a very good student (though I suspect he’s somewhat of a procrastinator himself), so I can also see you two supporting each other through schoolwork and celebrating each other’s successes.

Like you, Cedric has a strong urge to do the right thing. Talking to him about social issues stirs up a need to help, and I could see you two doing volunteer work together in your spare time.

I like to believe one of Cedric’s biggest love languages is quality time. Don’t get me wrong, this guy loves staying involved and busy. But taking a couple hours to be with you in small ways (even if that means just being in the same room while you scroll through social media) gives him a nice balance.

Overall, this kind boy will be there unwaveringly through the bad times and will laugh just as loud as you through the good!

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

LUNA LOVEGOOD

You wanna talk about the best conversations, relentless support, and overall the most wholesome friendship you could ask for? Luna’s your girl.

Being unashamed to be true to yourself is one of the biggest reasons why Luna is so drawn to you. While she’s very friendly and insightful towards everyone she meets, it can get a bit repetitive for her to constantly interact with people who try to shelter their unique characteristics from the world. In her mind, these unique characteristics are what make people so fascinating! Why should anyone hide who they are?

Luna’s creativity is endless, and I can see it blending well with yours. Collaborating on a personal project outside of school (ex: novel, blog, etc.) together is definitely something I could see you two doing.

Speaking of creativity, finding creative solutions to everyday problems (both in school and in life) is your specialty as friends.

Admittedly, Luna isn’t usually drawn to louder individuals. However, the complexity behind your personality makes it easier for her to know you are much more than what meets the eye.

Speaking of, Luna has a difficult time standing up for herself -- whether it’s because she doesn’t feel a need to or she just doesn’t recognize the meaning behind certain phrases. She NEEDS a friend like you to stand up for her sometimes, and I know you wouldn’t hesitate!

Ranting to Luna is therapeutic to say the least. While her aloofness at times may make it seem as if she isn’t fully paying attention, that couldn’t be further from the truth. She’s actually catching every word, and once you’re done she’ll leave you with a philosophical solution that may seem borderline insane/irrelevant when you first hear it, but it strangely makes sense.

Overall, the lack of judgment from either of you is what draws you together. As a result, you build a unique bond that couldn’t be broken even if either of you wanted it to.

In the Marauders era, I romantically pair you with…

REMUS LUPIN

Let’s be honest, it would take you two so long to ask each other out. You were probably already really close friends, but the insecurities and “what if?” questions from both of you delayed an actual relationship.

When you finally started dating, you were both so relieved. You still share a laugh at how almost nothing changed in the way you interacted with each other.

While with mutual friends, Remus sometimes likes to sit back and just watch you, especially when you get really talkative because this is when you become the most expressive. He has the softest smile when you’re actively cracking jokes, discussing something you’re passionate about, or even calling someone out. Sometimes you may be too distracted to notice, but other times you’ll catch him.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing.” (While that same soft smile never leaves his face.)

You both hold really high standards for yourself in terms of school, so expect late-night study/work sessions to be your best bet for quality time.

Though the occasional instance of walking through/lying on the grounds becomes a favorite for both of you.

Remus listens when you’re particularly struggling through anxiety or strong emotions, but he has to consciously stop himself from interrupting because he can’t stand how he feels knowing you’re going through a tough time.

All he wants to do is soothe you during these moments. If you’re comfortable, he’ll hold you while speaking to you in a soft voice. Remus, the intellectual that he is, is also your best chance at finding a reasonable solution. So if you're not in the mood for calming words, he's also a great person to turn to for answers.

As for your ambitions, no matter what you choose to pursue, you already know Remus is going to be your biggest source of support every step of the way. He’s more than happy to help in any way he can!

Overall, Remus appreciates you, and he’s always going to make sure you know it.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

LILY EVANS

Lily especially connects to you because you manage to be determined, competitive, and intelligent without sacrificing your kindness, which is something she can relate to.

You and Lily are the C.E.O.s of doing the right thing. Neither of you hesitates to back the other up when it comes to confronting someone because you know it’s justified.

As perceptive as Lily is, you never need to tell her when something is bothering you. All it takes is a quick glance before she puts whatever she’s doing on hold to check in with you.

The reverse works as well. Typically, Lily really doesn’t internally struggle too much, and when she does she tries to hide it. You’re one of the only people who can see right through whatever she tries to pull.

The constant banter between you two is unmatched, but you both know it's because you really care about each other.

Overall, you and Lily have each other’s backs through anything, even when the other isn’t actively asking for help.

[doomednarrative]

I’m doing this for fun simply because I'm rewatching them all so,

Here's my personal ranking for Every Gorillaz Music video, based both on song and the video itself:

(This is going to be a long post)

PHASE ONE:

Tomorrow Comes Today: 7/10. I love this song and the video fits its vibe, but its still pretty simplistic and not a whole lot of actual animation and no story, so it gets points off for that.

Clint Eastwood: 10/10. I love this one honestly. Its still so charming after all this time and showcases the band well for their early days. Love the more moody tone of it, and I always love seeing the band actually play instruments in their videos too. Bonus points for Murdoc's laugh opening this one because I love that.

Rock The House: 9/10. Pure fun. I don't have a lot of commentary for it, I just think its fun and I love the song itself too. One point off for Murdoc thrusting his hips too many times for my eyes tho.

19-2000: 10/10. This one was the first Gorillaz video that I saw and it really is just a nice non plot connected video. The 3D animation still manages to hold up because of its mix with 2D animation in my opinion and I enjoy it.

Rockit: 5/10. I like the song but the video is kinda meh.

PHASE ONE MV'S OVERALL: Overall I like phase one and I miss Del. Bring him back.

PHASE TWO:

Dirty Harry: 8/10. 2D is just vibing so hard in this video and I'm living for it. That’s all that matters. (Side note but I love the version of this video they did for the BRIT's as well.)

DARE: 10/10. Noodles time to shine, a perfect song, what more could you ask for?? (Also love the bit with Murdoc at the end of course.)

Feel Good Inc: 10/10. This one is obvious if you know me at all. Murdoc playing his bass is what sells this one for me cause I enjoy the animation. The songs amazing and one I find comforting to listen to, and the mood of the video fits it perfectly. Theres some really fun shots with lighting while 2D is standing at the window too in the tower in here that I've always liked.

El Mañana: 6/10. I love this song but it makes me sad and so does the video.

PHASE TWO MV'S OVERALL: Phase One is iconic for its art style and for being The Beginning, but Phase Two is my favorite of the two for its art. I love how these videos are animated, and even if Demon Dayz is my least favorite album, the songs in these videos are all very good. Pretty solid as a whole all things considered.

PHASE THREE:

Stylo: 10/10 LISTEN, I KNOW SOME PEOPLE HATE THE CGI, BUT I LOVE IT. It’s so expressive, this song is one of my absolute faves, I’m sorry to be such a Murdoc liker but hes so much fun in this video and so expressive and it starts the story off for Plastic Beach. I love it so much.

On Melancholy Hill: 7/10. It’s not a bad video, and I love the song a lot, but...not a lot actually happens in the video aside from the bits with Noodle. Bonus points however go to just how seamlessly it puts 2D and 3D animation together, and for how cute 2D looks this whole video.

Rhinestone Eyes: 9/10. WOULD BE A 10/10 IF WE’D GOTTEN OFFICIAL ANIMATION FOR IT ;-; (The fan animated video for it tho is Very very good and i applaud that whole team.) Amazing song, this video has the most story packed into it so far from all the other videos and it’s memorable from its storyboards for that alone.

Doncamatic: 10/10 Listen...Listen I know its a one off and it doesn't really have anything in it but I’m obsessed because its one of my favorite Gorillaz songs tbh and I love Daley’s outfit in it so it gets a full pass from it.

PHASE THREE MV’S OVERALL: I love every video this phase tbh, none of them are bad. All of them are fun,and even if Melancholy Hill is a little slow, it’s still enjoyable. I love this phase because they all connect and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way either.

PHASE FOUR:

Hallelujah Money: 7/10. It’s not at all bad, but I’m as not fond of this song, and the video itself is much too trippy for me. Still has its own merits tho that I won’t knock it for even if it’s not my personal taste.

Saturn Barz: 10/10. Everything about this video is amazing. Character designs and as a comeback for the bands animated counterparts, it was perfect. I loved hearing them actually speak again too it made the whole thing so fun. The song is fuckin awesome and it fits the vibe of the whole video. Bonus points for the more lineless animation style they gave everyone in this video, it was a really neat change from past phases. My one complaint is again stop making me see so much naked Murdoc, I may like him but not like that.

Sleeping Powder: 6/10. I am so split when it comes to the mo cap models. This songs good but the video is again too trippy for me.

Strobalite: 9/10. Would have been 10/10 if Russel got to dance with 2D and Noodle, but other than that its pretty damn good. The mo cap looks way less awkward in here, particularly Murdoc and Russel. Also hilarious that Murdoc made a deal with the devil, and the guy who played him is actually his voice actor irl. This songs too much fun to vibe to as well.

PHASE FOUR MV’S OVERALL: Not much for story, but makes up for it in updated art and great music again. Solid overall yet again. I like it.

PHASE FIVE:

Humility: 20/10. Literally every single person I know who’s seen this video loved it. The animation is Beautiful, the song is so fuckin catchy, Jack Black is in it! What more do you want!! (The only thing I could have asked for was to see more of Ace but that’s its only flaw.)

Tranz: 9/10. I love this song so much but this video is Again just a little too trippy for me. However, we get to see Ace just jamming out in this video and I’ll take the trippiness just for that.

PHASE FIVE MV’S OVERALL: I was surprised there wasn't at least one more video for this phase honestly? I feel like Kansas or Souk Eye would have made for great videos for this phase. That aside tho, both the videos it does have are a lot of fun. My literal only complaint is that I wanted to see more of Ace. Bring him back in the future.

PHASE SIX:

Momentary Bliss: 8/10. This songs fine, but what sells it for me is the video is more slice of life/a day in the life of the studio. I’m always a fan of those moments. Bonus points goes to Murdoc trying to fuckin poison Jamie and it backfiring on him.

Désolé: 10/10: ooooh this song is so beautiful...I love it so much. 2D Noodle and Russel got to have such a fun time in this video and they deserve it. And poor Murdoc, having his little sad times by his asshole self. I love him but I think he deserved it. The others needed a good break from the bullshit and I’m glad they got it.

Aries: 6/10. Video itself is kinda boring, but the song is nice. Murdoc deserved to be left behind in Désolé after what he tried to pull here.

Friday the 13th: 3/10. I don’t care for this video and I really don’t care for the song. Not much else to say.

PAC-MAN: 6/10. Video’s fine, I like some of the little details in it, but it’s nothing special. The song itself is nice tho, super calming, I like it.

Strange Timez: 20/20 MY GOD I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH...VISUALS ARE SO FUN, I LOVE ROBERT SMITH SO I LOVE HIM IN HERE, ITS JUST A GOOD TIME ALL AROUND!

The Pink Phantom: 5/10 I just don’t really care for this song?? I like Elton John but I couldn’t get myself to like this one no matter how many times I’ve listened. 2D got to be happy in this video tho so I’ll give it a pass.

The Valley of the Pagans: 6/10. This song fuckin slaps but the video feels like a boring redo of 19-2000 except for it’s ending. It gets points for giving everyone Plastic Beach feelings at the end and hyping up the video after it.

The Lost Chord: 20/20. Y’all knew this was coming. This was something I’d BEEN hoping for story wise and I finally got it. Was it maybe a little rushed? Yes. But GOD it was such a nice thing to see them say “hey we’ve wrapped up this part of the story for good and want everyone to move on from it, so we’ve given it a properly acknowledged final send off.” And tangibly seeing everyone's emotions laid out about the island and their times there was very nice. And  I know Jamie and Damon have stated Murdoc is irredeemable, blah blah yes I know hes an asshole still, but I WILL think about Murdoc in this video and how he seemed actually regretful and what that means to me and the fact that it was no one else but 2D himself being the one to reach out to Murdoc in the end to save him until my dying breath, thank you very much. And this song?? Fuckin beautiful, it had those Plastic Beach vibes again and felt good for it’s send off song, I love it.

PHASE SIX MV’S OVERALL: I may be a little split on some of them and on Song Machine as a whole, but tbh I love the phase six art style so much and most times the videos were pretty good. Bringing back PB in the end was something I always wanted too so it really does get bonus points from me for that. I’m 50/50 on them overall. The great ones are great, and the meh ones are just kinda boring, so it evens out in the end.

STAND ALONE VIDEOS MENTION:

Do Ya Thing: 10/10. I’ve said before I love the 3D animation and the slice of life stuff, so this one’s obviously a favorite, and you really cant go wrong with an Andre 3000 feature either. 

Superfast Jellyfish: 3/10. This song is kinda fun but I don’t give a single shit about the music video.

Garage Palace: 8/10. Very fun pixel visuals for a change along with a killer song, super enjoyable.

So what’s my final verdict on Gorillaz and their long music video history?

Honestly for a group thats been going as long as they have, I dont think they have too many misses in their catalog. The ones that aren’t as fun are just kinda there, but the videos that really stand out stand out far above the ones that don’t hit the mark as well and in the end it all feels like a good balance. No band has a perfect video every time, but the ones that Gorillaz did well they did amazing on and I enjoy it immensely when that happens.

Sidenotes after watching all of those:

For the love of god please put Russel in the videos more, please, he deserves it and I would love to see him more.

On that note, BRING DEL BACK WITH HIM TOO!!

And speaking of characters to bring back, I want Ace to come back and join Murdoc sometimes, even if its only once or twice more, I need to see them interact PLEASE.

Last note but Jamie, please, I’m begging, show less of mostly naked or fully naked of Murdoc in future videos, we’ve had our fill by now.

[mc-doppomine]

My Ranking of Fling Posse Songs

All of this is done in good fun and all solely my opinion. My taste of music is not the same as yours or anyone else’s. What hits with me may not be the same and that’s okay! I will not include the battles as they deserve their own list. I will however include Lesson and Once Upon a Time in Shibuya for fun. 

Fling Posse has the best music overall. Surprise, shawty! That’s right, the fucking MTR simp prefers FP music. It just be like that. I just think FP has such a fun energy and it’s high energy and dance-y vibes that are my preference in songs. I’m a sad bean and music gives me joy. I think Fling Posse is my most listened to songs although probably loses only to the battles. I love a lot of voices coming together for a good time, what can I say. Anyway, let’s go!

13) Shibuya Ghost Night - I feel like this is just gonna be a pattern...It wasn’t a bad song but I don’t think of Fling Posse for that style. Honestly now that I am thinking about it, I think I would’ve liked if Fling Posse switched this song with Welcome U. But is still a bop style. Reminds me of old school songs that’d be at my family gatherings. Which is good since that style is really made for booging. I just would not think of doing so with these guys. I’m listening to this as I write...I think MTC would’ve been a good fit too. 

12) Once Upon a Time in Shibuya - Honestly this could’ve been switched with 11 if it really wanted to. It is really disadvantaged by not being on like...the common songs list. But I do understand exclusives and all that but it’s still a shame. I think it’s entertaining for a bit of Gentaro and Dice just going back and forth. But like the champagne problem, the yo’s just wore on me far too fast. 

11) Lesson - Weird to see it so low here considering it’s place on Matenrou’s list. But I hope this shows a testament to how much more I do value Fling Posse’s sound. Ramuda mainly has the floor with this song, which makes sense considering the subject. I just wish it wasn’t such a pain to find. 

10) 3$EVEN - I don’t have much to say on this one. I will say I often mishear what Dice is saying in this one. Like ‘B-E-T’ often just sounds like ‘D-D-D’ to me. It’s not bad, just saying I will usually not hear it as it should be. I think that’s just a part of how Dice emphasizes his words such as such a hard roll of his r’s. 

9) Scenario Liar - All the Gentaro backdrop. The one song I actually looked a lot in the lyrics over. Mainly because I wanted to know what was true and all that. I did initially tie it with Calyx because of the interest in both. However this one got demoted because it is essentially Gentaro talking at us for most of it and just not as fun.

8) Drops - That opening will haunt me for forever. This entire song just makes me think of like a playful jazz walk that I’d almost end off each direction with a kick. Super playful. Thing is while I like the opening for like it’s memery by now, I really wish I would be able to just get to the song part since that is what I mainly listen to. 

7) Black Journey - Oh man I can feel myself getting some serious flack for the placement of this one. It isn’t bad. It’s not down here because it’s bad. I mean I thought Ramuda’s singing in the beginning was very beautiful and melancholic like a swan song. And then they just fire up into their song. It’s great. I just felt stronger for some of their other group songs. 

6) Scramble Gamble - Y’know whenever this song starts off, for some reason I always mix it up with one of the Buster Bros’ songs. I don’t really know the lyrics of this one either but it’s a bop. I do think it’s cute how Fling Posse do reference each other in their own songs such as in this one with ‘not candy that melts and disappears, nor some phantom dream’ and Gentaro and Ramuda do similar in Calyx and Drops respectively. 

5) Jackpot! - I had forgotten this song tbh but in my defense, I binged the series so a lot was a blur. I don’t even remember much of the episode. But some lovely people talking on here made me look it up because I hadn’t known they extended the song for the album. That extension fucking slaps. It has one of my favorite comebacks from Gentaro (the good luck, goodbye) and I love the ‘we’ll kiss the goddess of victory right in front of you.’ Made going back to listen to it all worth it. 

4) Calyx - Pretty sure I already gushed about this one already. But I have to say, Gentaro’s voice is super pretty and would like him to sing more often. I hardly know the lyrics, I’m just here to listen to his voice walking like playful stumble along the grass. It’s a pretty soothing and chill song. 

3) Pink Colored Love - While everyone was hooked by ‘yaa yaa minna genki,’ I was hooked by ‘nee nee onee-san~’ (the phrase will never be the same again, thank you for your service Hayami-san). Eh, it scratched that edgy itch I like. Although it sounds like Ramuda becoming aware of himself and kinda freaking out. I mean rightfully so. But yeah, I just mainly like the sound. 

2) Stella - Can I just say, I know what I said about Gentaro being better as a singer but one song makes me think ‘my god, this man’s flow.’ Like I think this one is my favorite rap of Gentaro’s just based on his sound with it. Everyone just sounds so different from their usual tone to me and I just??? Love it??? Dice going for that seem serious sounding and deeper tone. Ramuda’s darker tone in lyric. Definitely the song that make me think nakama for them.

1) Shibuya Marble Texture ~ PCCS ~ - I can feel the remarks coming on for this one. What the fuck, Kirei? Look, I know what I said and I stand by the whole dance-y thing as my favorite. But I don’t know, it’s just the vibes of this one. It’s a song I just feel good listening to. It’s one to kind of twirl around the kitchen in and one to bop your head to in the car or while out. Like I can feel that colorful world Ramuda talks about with this song. And they just sound so soothing in the chorus.

[sortavibing]

hii there, could i get a male romantic match up pls ?? i’m a infp, 5’3, virgo & slytherin. my pronouns are she/her & i’m bi. i love dancing, learning languages, music, memes, alt fashion, making people laugh, piercings, tattoos, making playlists & affection. i’m v insecure & i also have really bad anxiety so i lowkey need someone to take care of me bc i’m a mess and i always put others before me, sometimes i even forget to eat. my body type is curvyish, with chubby cheeks & brown eyes and i often dye my hair (it’s currently half black, half pink). i’m usually at home, whenever i go out i always put on my earphones. my music taste is very wide, i pretty much listen to everything. however, the bands/artists that i listen to the most are: lil peep, the neighbourhood, arctic monkeys & mother mother. i’m pretty opinionated and sarcastic, even though i’m an introvert i’m not afraid to talk back if i have to. i despise any kind of discrimination, having been bullied myself the first few years of high school. i use lots of “internet slang” on the daily and use emojis ironically. i hate being vulnerable in front of others, that’s why i always put an “idgaf” attitude even though i overthink everything. i kinda have trust issues and i’m very bad at expressing my feelings vocally, so i usually do it with affection, that’s why i consider it my love language. it’s really hard for me to say no to someone so people usually take advantage of me and even if i know it, i can’t stop it bc i just want to make everyone happy ): aaaa this was sooo long but i wanted it to be as specific as possible so it’d be easier for u. thank you so much, i hope you’re taking care of yourself properly. <3 <3

hello! thank you for requesting! you sound like so much fun to be around (we are lowkey the same) and i aspire to have your hair (i kinda screwed mine up today :I). anyways, here’s your matchup!

i match you up with iwazumi!

iwazumi is actually pretty good at comforting and caring for people, because he has so much practice helping oikawa, so he will always be there for you to remind you to eat, help you through a panic attack, compliment you, and just be a very stable anchor in your life that will ground you while still showing you affection.

he also thinks the alt fashion is really cool, and you were able to convince him to get a helix piercing, and though he pretends it was all your idea, he actually really likes it, and often looks for different studs/rings when he is out shopping. his favorite earring he has is one with 2 silver rings that are a little rough and handmade looking.

if you guys are out in a public place, he always brings a spare set of earphones and a portable battery, just in case you misplace your earphones or your phone runs out of battery. he really likes when you make playlists for him, and whenever he misses you, he listens to one of the playlists you made for him.

iwa really enjoys physical affection too, but he doesn’t initiate it that much, so if you guys are walking together, please hold his hand, because that will literally make his day. he would also be really good at giving hugs, so if you ever are feeling bad, he would wrap you in his arms and just stay there until you feel a little better.

he will always offer to help you touch up your dyed roots, and he’s surprisingly really good at it, so iwazumi has now become your resident hairstylist, and he secretly enjoys dying your hair, so while he does grumble a few complaints when he has to help you, he soon gets really into it, and even offers to try something a little more complicated, because he thinks it would look really good on you.

one of your most memorable dates was when iwazumi surprised you with tickets to an arctic monkey’s concert. you guys were almost late to the show, but once you got there, you and iwa spent the whole night dancing and singing with each other, and after the concert, he took you to your favorite place to eat (if it was open), and you spent the rest of the night and the morning just talking with each other and enjoying the city.

when he first saw you voice your opinion against discrimination towards LGBTQ+, and got into an argument with someone about it, he was really surprised and impressed that you were able to hold your ground and still keep your cool. seeing the side of you that was willing to defend what you believe in made him fall in love with you a little bit more, and he was sure to mention how amazing it is that you refuse to let people be discriminatory against others.

 iwazumi refuses to let people walk all over you, so if you ever tell him that you are uncomfortable in a situation and you don’t want to say no, he will immediately be there, in person or on the phone to shut down that person fast. he hates that people want to take advantage of you, so he will do everything in his power to show others that you aren’t just a girl who won’t say no.

he knows you like the alt fashion, so if he ever sees something that he is sure will look good on you, he will buy it and give it to you the next time he sees you, so because of this, a lot of your favorite items of clothing are bought by iwazumi, and whenever you wear them around him, he gets really proud that you like what he bought for you.

overall, you and iwazumi are the peak rbf couple, but you both care a lot about each other. he always makes sure that you put yourself before anyone else, because he just wants you to realize how beautiful and amazing you are. your relationship was built on a lot of trust, and you know he would never lie to you, because he just wants you to be happy.

i hope you enjoyed!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #349

“we’ll meet again, when both our cars collide”

When was the last time you had a PopTart? It's been many, many months. Do you like hot chocolate? Well duh. Who made you laugh the hardest today? I haven't really laughed today. Who was the last person to promise you something, and what was it? Hmph. Would you ever jump into a fire to save your bestfriend? I know I would. Do you have a callus from writing too much? No, I only have calluses on my feet from when I used to walk for hours on end. They just never permanently went away, even with grooming. Who is someone you’ve made a bad first impression on? I dread to guess what the girl Jason dated after me was told about me. I shouldn't care at all, but I do. I have every reason to accurately be defined as "the crazy ex," and I fucking hate it. Who is your best guy friend? Girt, a friend from high school. Do you read cereal boxes while you’re eating? I did as a kid, but now I don't. I just kinda stand and eat. What’s the last thing you accidentally (or purposely) burnt? I kinda burnt the roof of my mouth on pizza the other night. Do you know anyone with a lip piercing? Me, haha. I know others, too. What did the last tattoo you saw, look like? I don't remember. Have you ever given birth? NO FUCKING THANK YOU. Do you enjoy making out? I mean if I'm in the mood to and I love you, yeah. Why exactly do you take surveys? "I genuinely like doing them and they’re great for venting and sorting out thoughts and whatnot. I can just ramble and get things off my chest." <<<< This right here covers it. As well, it's just a boredom killer. And I happen to be bored very, very often. Rockband or Gutair Hero? Both are great, why choose just one? What are you listening to right now? Halocene's cover of "Helena" by My Chemical Romance. It's beautiful. What kind of energy drinks do you drink, if any? None, because I just can't do energy drinks. They taste like pure poison to me. Have you ever been swimming in a river? No. Swimming in a river sounds pretty dangerous... Does your alarm clock wake you with music, or with an annoying buzz sound? Music. When you broke stuff in the house as a child, did you blame it on siblings? I'm hoping you don't mean breaking deliberately, 'cuz I wasn't that kind of kid. But anyway, I don't believe I did. Did you make it all the way through the Oregon Trail game? Yes. I was obSESSED with those games as a kid. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! Which one are you more scared of? Tigers, probably. They're so stealthy and, while I may be entirely wrong, seem like the top candidate of the three to attack a human, be it for food or defense. And have you SEEN the muscles on a tiger? Christ. Describe the best use that you’ve found for duct tape: Uh, taping things lmao. Do you wrap gifts or use gift bags? I use gift bags, because I can't wrap for shit. What fast food place do you avoid at all costs? Arby's is really gross to me. Are you afraid of deep sea creatures? Just giant squid... *shudders* Have you ever agreed to purchase something on Ebay and got scammed somehow? No. I did, however, purchase something on deviantART and never got the product. It was going to be a present for Jason. In dA's defense though, I've bought like... two or three other things from there, and there were zero issues. It's really about the people you trust. If you get a call that says “Unknown”, do you answer it? Nnnnope. Do you have any bobble head figures? No. Have your parents ever left you somewhere without realizing it? I don't think so. Have you ever been in a tanning bed? No. Did your last kiss mean anything to you? Well yeah, I wouldn't have kissed her otherwise. Would you say that you have a nice smile? No; I've been self-conscious of it since I was a kid, mostly because one of my eyes looks more squinty than the other, but they both are to me. I've always said I look high when I smile lmao. Is there an ex you want to make up with? My mind immediately screams "Jason," but I know that's a horrendous idea. Our last talk ended peacefully and even with care and good wishes, and I need my fucking impenetrable head to accept that's where it needs to end. He does NOT need to re-enter my life. It would be so bad for me. Do you remember how you felt on 9/11? I have no memory of it, if I'm being honest. What outfit makes you feel the most attractive? None. Other than yourself, who knows you the best? Really? Whoever reads these lmao. What’s one complaint that you have about school? Common Core and how every student's school experience was not tailored towards their unique goals. Like they try to cram a shitload of identical and usually useless information into a kid's brain to make them a jack of all trades, you could say, but not enough information they need to properly pursue their career future. It causes such an unnecessary amount of frustration and stress. I have many, many complaints about the education system, but this one tops the list. What do you do while you’re on campus but not in class? Back in college, I would just do stuff on my laptop. Do you know anyone who has Autism/Asperger’s syndrome? Yes. Are you open to a same-sex relationship and why or why not? Well, considering I'm bisexual... Do you remember life without the internet? No. Have you ever found yourself to be ugly? I've gone my entire life thinking I'm ugly, if I'm being real. What is your state’s minimum wage? $7.25 a fucking hour. :'''''') Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t/won’t? There's a few people. What is your first memory of being in a hospital? Considering my mom worked at the local hospital when I was a kid, I remember being there quite, quite young, playing with my older sister in Mom's and her coworkers' room. I think Nicole was too young to really "play." Do you have any relatives with red hair? No. What is something good that has happened to you in the past week? I got my first Covid vaccine. My arm hurts like a motherfucker now, but to protect my mom, it's worth it. Please get vaccinated. How much was the rent/mortgage at the cheapest place you’ve ever lived? That's never been my business. Have you ever been to a gay pride parade? No, but I would go to a local one if I could actually walk five feet without being in serious pain and sweating like a pig. Do you still keep in touch with your very first best friend? We're friends on Facebook, but that's it. What was the topic of the last conversation you had with your dad? I can't remember, but it was recent, because we all met at Ashley's house for Nicole's birthday celebration. How often did you visit your grandparents when you were growing up? Pretty much never, given they all lived no less than like, 10 hours (via car) from where we lived. My immediate family are the only people in NC. When two family members are fighting, what do you usually do? Stay out of it, but admittedly try to listen just to know what's going on. Do you like the smell of men’s cologne? Yeah. What’s your all time FAVORITE freezer food? Do you eat that a lot? I survive off of microwaveable freezer food, so this is very hard... uhhhhh... perhaps this Banquet bowl meal that's mac 'n cheese with spicy chicken. It's absolutely delicious, like you'd never guess that sucker was just popped in the microwave. I'd say I eat it a moderate amount; it's a reliable option if Mom's not cooking and I'm really hungry, because it's super filling. Do you like documentaries? Have you ever watched one and find it boring? I enjoy them, particularly when they're about animals. Were you ever a fan of macaroni & cheese? Do you like Kraft dinner? Ha, speak of mac 'n cheese. I love it, and Kraft makes it fine. Do you burn incense? Not as much as I used to. I love the smell and just general vibe, though. What would you consider an unacceptable first date? Going to a bar or something. Have you ever been so sick you had to be taken to the hospital? In the head, anyway. Is there anything currently bothering you? Multiple things. Would you say that you’ve got something ‘special’ about you? No. Do you like things vampire-related? I don't really have an opinion on vampire stuff. Are you the kind of person who does not like talking about their past? I don't care. Have you ever been to a casino? No. What’s the last thing you wore a costume for besides Halloween related events? Back when I still took dance classes and we had the yearly recital. What does your father do for a living? He's a mailman. What’s the last app you downloaded on your phone? Haha, I re-downloaded this ollllldddd game I had before, Nyan Cat: Lost in Space (or something like that?) for my niece to play. She's hooked on it now. Are you in any discomfort right now? Yeah; as I mentioned, my arm really hurts. What do you know the most about? Of all things I know, almost certainly meerkats. Are you seeing anyone? No. Have you ever hooked back up with an ex, just for sex? Was it a mistake or no? No. Have you ever gotten in trouble for using a phone in class? No, because I didn't use my phone in class. Have you seen all the Shrek movies? No, which is a fucking crime. I need to see the last one. Have you ever finished a whole video game? Plenty plenty plenty. Do you know anyone with a pet snake? Yeah, myself included. If you had to live in an extreme environment — think Sahara, Antarctica, under the sea, on the Moon— where would you want to live? Why? Probably Antarctica. I'm sure it would be unpleasant, being that cold, but I feel there's more you can do about being cold than being in the scalding heat of, say, the Sahara. Living on the moon or in the deep ocean sounds super sucky. How was your day overall? It's been okay. Not as bored as usual, at least. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Like... zero. I want to say my dad, and I almost do, just... nightmares make that very, very difficult. Plus his past. What does your mom call you? Normally just "Britt." Write a sentence in another language: Oh god, my German is so rusty... uhhhh... Hallo, ich heiße Brittany, und ich bin 25 Jahre alt und wohne in North Carolina. I think I got the grammar right? Have you ever sent an X-Rated picture to someone? No. Even if I was comfortable with my body, I would be way too paranoid to at any point have a naked picture on my phone, even if I deleted it. Like, hello blackmail, but also, nothing you delete is ever really gone permanently. What big city do you live near? Raleigh is like an hour away. Do you like breaded chicken sandwiches? omg YES Is there a Sonic in your area? Yes, it's my favorite fast food joint. You have GOT to try the pretzel twists with cheese dip. Have you ever gone to a thrift store? Yeah, I love 'em. Do you think Johnny Depp is attractive? I do. Are you happy with the state you live in? No, not at all. I hate this place. Bunch of homophobic, racist rednecks. How many times have you seen the opposite sex naked? It's not like I counted every time I saw my ex naked over three and half years lmao. How many times have you seen the same sex naked? A few times. When days go by, do you cross them off on the calendar? I don't use a calendar. Are you currently counting down to something? If so, what? MY TATTOO APPOINTMENT!!!!! :''') I know I can't stop talking about it, but ugh I'm so excited. May 19th, c'mon already. Do you pay rent to your parents? No. Do you dye eggs for Easter? I used to as a kid. Not so much anymore. Are you in debt right now? For what? Oh god, I don't want to think of this. Would you ever work night crew? I really, really wouldn't want to. Humans are diurnal for a reason. Being awake in constant darkness would depress the fuck outta me, and it'd feel so lonely, with everyone I know asleep. Who was the last person that lied to you, or that you can recall lying to you? What did they lie about? How did you find out they were lying? I don't remember. Has anyone ever called you ugly, straight up, before? How did you react to this? No, not to my face. Who is the most stubborn person you know {excluding yourself}? MY MOTHER.

[womenhoodlooniness]

Mean Girls: Codependency Edition

//TW: Bullying, codependency, narcissism 

This is pretty much a two-parter with another post which I’ll link here. 

So as I mentioned in my previous post, I was ashamed with the realization that my private school girl dream was a not a perfect one. Most of the time it was a fun experience, but like everything else, there was underlining flaws. 

Including the girls that liked to bite back for no reason. 

It’s a shame that not every girl was supportive, friendly, and/or understanding. Sometimes it did kind of plagued the comfy, tight-knit environment the school sustained. Especially since if one thing was said, then next thing you know it becomes a thought in everybody’s minds. 

It was even more weirder since I was a freshman at this new school where I knew nobody. So having to deal with such behavior was always an odd thing because it was either A) I didn’t even know the person to even say such a thing about me or B)  I JUST GOT HERE, HOW IS MY QUIET SELF SO WEIRD TO YOU. 

I think part of the frustration also came from some sort of “culture shock” because I grew up in a school where it was predominantly Hispanic (Thanks to Chicago’s segregation) and now here I am dealing with a bunch of white girls judging me right off the bat. 

Where’s the femme support? I thought we were all gals for crying out loud?!?!

However, there was this one comment I will never forget. The comment that changed my entire life. This comment had a tremendous amount of impact with what had came after. This comment exposed me to a whole new kind of weirdness and uncomfy-ness. 

It was the start of my CODEPENDENCY. 

Me: “Sorry what did you say? I was not listening.” 

X: [Not even being talked to] “Oh that’s probably why you did not get the scholarship.” 

Other girls at the table: *Appalled by what has been said*

Me: *Staying quiet and confused by the weird fuckery these young white girls tend to have for some reason*

BUT YES. IT WAS WITH SOMEONE I KNEW. AND IS THE SAME PERSON THAT DID NOT CARED ABOUT ME BEING BULLIED BY Z. 

Unfortanely, before you know it, we became close and best friends later on...which was of course, 

a HUGE MISTAKE. 

So we became friends at first because we had the same music taste. So I guess from there on, she did not find me weird anymore. Z was still around but she probably did not want me around. She was most likely still bothered by me with my weird looking face and deep voice...

I must admit, there were fun times. I actually needed a friend. Which was probably the second red flag, other than being a good friend of my bully. I say this because this school had a unwelcoming taste to me that I so ignored and having a buddy by my side definitely soothed things out...out of desperation perhaps...

Especially since I was going through some rocky roads with my best friend and boyfriend at the time that I was afraid of losing. Basically, I really did feel like a damsel in distress. 

So what do I do? 

Be friends with somebody that I have a minor thing in common with. 

There were times of annoyance with X that made me question if she was a good friend for me. It was mostly her underlining “bully” humor which I’ll explain more in a bit. Not only with how she found Z’s “jokes” about me funny, but overall how she found the pettiest things funny. 

One time I cracked my phone so bad that I kind of felt like crying and just bothered by the whole situation. X ended up laughing which soon felt like she was laughing at me in the situation. I was too bothered by realizing that which made me whisper to her “fuck off” and other things because it really did not feel like a laughing manner. 

BUT there would be other times where she was going through something even though she did not feel the need to laugh if I poked fun at it. 

It’s as though X can take a joke if she is not perceived as the butt of the joke. Basically, where’s the fairness in that? 

I must admit, these kind of experiences where not as strongly considered as they should of been. To be honest, the desperation for X grew more, especially during sophomore year because I was also going through a rocky relationship with a guy so anything helped during that time. 

ANYTHING for myself to feel okay. 

During junior year was when the codependency grew stronger. We both needed each other’s comfort (Well, at least I did) since we had transferred to different schools due to the private school closing down. It did not help since I was having more trouble adjusting to my new high school, especially since the people who I thought were my friends flaked out on me. 

I had essentially became a lonely wreck since feeling lonely would crush my soul as soon as I would feel an ounce of it - anytime, anywhere, 

So we would facetime hours on end. Did our very best to stay in touch...

Junior/Senior year was definitely the year where the codependency was strong because there was numerous times where X would belittle me for what I knew/not knew. I was very much blinded by the codependency since I took this as guidance and advice. But there would be times where I feel so exhausted from listening to her and/or feeling like something had to be said to me. 

It’s as though X took advantage of my frail self while I was being overcome by the comfort of even having a friend around. 

There was times where I needed space from any kind of social interaction so I would put my phone on “Do Not Disturb” which later on she kind of demeaned me for it by saying 

“You know you can silence your phone while leaving the vibration on, right?”

Another time she yelled at me because I thought the concept of mail-order brides was stupid. But before I can explain myself (with a mind of my own) she got angry and started to explain how such a thing is necessary or what not. 

X was not willing to listen to me, but I was numbed to listen to her. 

Of course, the codependency broke me a whole lot that I never come to thought to stand up for myself. It made me blind to all the red flags. If anything, it’s as if I had forgotten I had a mind of my own. 

I was forgetting who I was, without having to have somebody beside me. 

X’s guiding voice started to have a patronizing tone to it. I was starting to realize that somebody I had looked up to was showing her true colors of being a burnt out gifted kid that felt like she had to be listened to. 

I guess I was never cool to her. I was always just the weird but nice girl to have around. 

It was during freshman year of college where I finally started to realize that maybe we did not need to be each other’s friends anymore. I started to take the red flags more seriously as they came along. 

I started keeping note with how I was more so becoming a friend in the background whenever X and Z and I hanged out with each other. I started to feel like more of the friend they had to invite. I just knew the other times they would hang, it would be responded with 

“Oh, we did not think you wanted to come.” 

Of course I started to accept with that potential thought, until it hit me that they actually could give less of a damn about me in their lives. 

I should of known when they complained about having to drive to my house to pick me up as it was across the tracks and would always ask when I would get a car...if they were really my friends then they would be more than glad to have me join along. 

No matter how bumpy the road would be. 

Every visit to X’s house and every hangout with both X and Z started to feel more weary and more awkwardly new every time. They would be sitting right across from me but I slowly started to feel like I did not know them anymore; they were becoming strangers to me. 

I would never forget what Z had said to X during one of the many times to tell her off....they also had a concerning friendship too of “bantering”

“Let her speak. Stop speaking for her like you always do.”

Z knew.

Overall, I realized X was not willing to see me grow and become a new person. I also accepted how X was not going to change her ways. My last straw was when she told me off about my relationship. I had put my trust in her to talk about such things, not for her to backstab me with information and to be the “know-it-all” of every situation. 

I got sick of it. 

It really bothered me. I found it disrespectful. Better yet, I bet you she does not even find it bothersome herself. I bet you she’s proud of what she said. Because that was her main thing: Not owning up to her actions. 

In other words, not knowing when she has done wrong. 

She was blinded by her own pride. 

After what happened, everything started to become more and more bleak as months went on...pretending to forget about each other. I had officially cut all contact when I had to change my phone number; we haven’t talked ever since last May. 

The best I can do now is accept my past self and improve/create a new one for the future. One that involves becoming the friend I wish I had but for other loved ones in my life. That in itself is a kind deed I’m willing to commit.

It is heart breaking to come to realize that X’s flaws really got in the way of our friendship. I went through so much shit with her only to be aware that she’s not a good friend for me. And to think I had a best gal pal that helped me through so many heart aches, girl drama, etc. only for me to think that it was all probably out of pity. 

Who’s to say if she still saw me as the weird girl that she met in freshman year, and nothing else?

X’s flaws does make me feel like something else was up with her besides being the gifted kid who had to grow up fast. Something tells me that she possess a narcissistic behavior. 

Having to be the “know-it-all”, always listened to, not accepting when they’re wrong, not taking accountability...

It was even worse since I so much of a naive, insecure girl back then. So anything that would of conquered over me, I would of just let it happen without even realizing. Making me not come to touch with the many red flags as well as having X liking how I was in a frail state of mind sometimes. I could not think for myself so it was easy for myself to become a puppet. 

I was easily a target for her desire to feel needed. 

I don’t want to be the ignorant person who’s making a diagnosis through a freaking Tumblr post but, one would wonder. In fact, I am probably the only one wondering and that’s okay! I was the one that got affected by her extreme behavior so I think I at least have the right to wonder if she does possess such a behavioral trait. 

I mean for crying out loud, X thought she did something when she tried to insult me for not getting a scholarship that she won. Mind you, that was our first interaction together too! 

But I am aware that perhaps codependency may not be the best term to describe our past friendship. Perhaps something like “one-sided” may be more appropriate but hey, this is what I saw and what I experience. 

Overall, I have a feeling this is more than just internalized misogyny. Who’s to say if narcissism is intertwined with such a concept? Severe or not? With that said, how many more femme friendships need to be ruined until this is seen as a serious issue? I remember telling my current girl friends: 

“Generally speaking, if we ladies don’t have each other, supporting each other’s backs, then we’re fucked.” 

I do find it ironic how X and Z would love watching David Dobrik (Another shitty Youtuber being cancelled) because of his "humor” of poking fun at things but turns out he could also be a sociopath/narcissist too, especially with the latest drama there is of him.

I guess life does imitate art.