#listen i tried with the hat chops i really did lol

[shysimblr]

Naturally Mine Hair 

Base game compatible

Custom  thumbnail

24 Maxis swatches

Hat compatible (mostly) - Works with most hats and accessories but not all of the

Download | SFS | Curseforge (If you wanna)

Any issues let me know :D Enjoy

[lazyrants]

The Case of the Swiped Sweets (prod 109)

Original airdate: August 20, 2004

Story by Magnus Scheving, Mani Svavarrson

Written by Noah Zachary, Cole Louie, Tom K. Mason, Dan Danko, Magnus Scheving

Directed by Steve Feldman, Magnus Scheving, Raymond P. Le Gue

Executive producers - Magnus Scheving, Ragnheidur Melsted, Raymond P. Le Gue, Mark Read, Brown Johnson, Kay Wilson Stallings

Starring Magnus Scheving, Stefan Karl Steffanson, Julianna Rose Mauriello

Puppeteers - Ronald Binion, Gudmondor Thor Karason, Jodi Eichelberger, David Matthew Feldman, Julie Westwood, Amanda Maddock

Swiped Sweets is easily one of the most recognizable episodes of LazyTown, thanks to the featured song 'Cooking by The Book'. That aside, is it really a good episode?

Sportacus wakes up after a good nights sleep, feeling like he can do anything. He decides to make some orange juice.

He literally karate chops the orange in half, then squeezes it into his cup then takes a sip. What a great way to start the day. In Milford's house, he is talking to himself about how he doesn't know what to get Bessie for her birthday. The kids are listening to music (that was taken from the Latador CD in 1998) and Stephanie realizes that Milford has Bessie's birthday on his mind. Stephanie tells him that if he messes it up like last year (Milford gave Bessie sunflowers, not knowing she is allergic) that Bessie will never talk to him again.

However, Bessie has gave Stephanie a large book of gifts so she knows what she wants. (In my opinion, just ruining the surprise.) They flip through the book and look through 3 possible gifts - a cruise boat (too expensive!), a vase (too breakable!), and a cake. They ultimately decide to bake a cake for Bessie.

However, Milford says he is too nervous to make it, so Stephanie offers to bake it for him. Pixel, Stingy and Ziggy sing the word "hellooo" as a choir and Pixel analyses some data. If I was Milford I'd just buy a cake, because with two six year old puppets and one eight year old puppet baking a cake for you, disaster is bound to happen. Anyways, they finish baking the cake and Pixel says it's time to decorate it.

Pixel puts some whipped cream on the cake using Milford's cake decorator but Stingy takes it claiming it is his, then Ziggy takes it not knowing what it is and squirts cream all over the cupboard doors.

Anyways, they start throwing cake, lollipops and whipped cream around the kitchen thus creating a food fight. Milford comes to check out what's going on and he gets squirted with LOTS of whipped cream.. *sigh* People have made hundreds of jokes about this and I really wish I didn't get them.

Sportacus' crystal beeps and he visits the Mayor's house with two ping pong paddles. The two hide behind a counter, and I could swear this was a war movie if there was different music, the lighting was darker and it was in the movie aspect ratio. Anyways, Sportacus flips onto the kitchen counter, dodging all the cake and candy that comes his way.. for about 3 seconds until getting hit in the face with some cream. Sportacus says that food is for growing and not for throwing , and Ziggy tries to explain they were making a cake (a.k.a. a big lump of bread with pink cream all over it..) Sportacus tells them to try it again but without the mess.

He then goes back to his airship and the kids perform "Cooking by the Book" (an undeniably pretty good song..) while baking a proper cake for Bessie. I guess the cake was so good, because Robbie smelt it all the way from his lair. Robbie sees the cake and decides to make his own, but ultimately ends up saying swiped cake is better.

He does his classic DISGUISE TIME! And ends up with a detective disguise. He calls himself Hintslock Foams and actually comes up with a good plan to swipe the cake and convince everyone it was Sportacus. Anyways, his costume comes on the big plate like it did in Sports Day and knocks him over. He puts on the hat and reacts satisfied. LOL!!

Back at Milford's house, the cake has gone amazingly well, but Milford is still paranoid, saying that Bessie could be allergic to cake too (another LOL moment!!). Anyways, they leave the cake out of sight while Milford calls Bessie.

He doesn't know what to say, so Stephanie tells him to say "I'd like to invite you over for a nice surprise", but he somehow stuffs it up and says "I'd like to invite you over to put flies on your eyes." I don't know how he won the election, but it makes for a lotta funny moments in this show. Anyways, Bessie says she will be there as soon as she can and Robbie takes the cake while nobody is looking. He puts some of the frosting on Sportacus' ladder. I ain't no Robbie enthusiast, but this is geniunely an amazing plan. The plans he has in the series are good, he just executes them terribly.

Bessie visits Milford's house, but when the cover for the cake is lifted off, it reveals nothing there and Bessie declares another one of her birthdays RUINED (one bad gift doesn't ruin an entire day, Brattie Busybody) Robbie is right outside and he comes in the house, SLAMMING the door on Milford TWICE to introduce himself.

He says the best way to find a cake burglar is to find cake clues. (Personally I think DNA, but OK) Just right then, Sportacus jumps out his airship, and his hand touches the exact ladder step that Robbie covered with cake (coincidences..) Robbie goes up to Sportacus asking to see his hands. Covered with cake!

Robbie arrests Sportacus and puts up the stage now. Court is in session and for some reason Milford is already in a judge costume. Anyways Robbie asks Sportacus the classic question - "Did nobody see you NOT eat the cake?" Which doesn't make any sense until you think about it. Anyways, after 10 seconds, Robbie rests his case. Robbie tells Milford to cover his right eye and read one of those papers you see at the eye doctors that says "E S P O R T A C U S I S G U I L T Y". He reads it wrong the first time (which was not really that funny) then reads it right the second time.

Robbie tries pushing Sportacus to jail, then he walks himself, then for some reason Robbie just falls down? It's so random it's.. funny. Anyways, Robbie uses something that looks like a handcuff then throws it behind him and it makes a jail. Funny enough, you can actually see the jail already behind them. Come on guys, the budget was nearly 1,558,604 AUD. Anyways, everyone is watching Sportacus being put in jail.

It turns out Sportacus has no problem with being in jail. He even reminds Robbie to lock the door (but he stands up and can easily get out). If I was Sportacus I would just climb out of there considering I did nothing wrong, but I guess he had faith.

Inside, Ziggy realizes that Sportacus has sugar meltdowns if he eats cake (took ya long enough), but he was stretching in the cell, meaning he didn't eat the cake. I don't know why Sportacus just didn't say that himself. Anyways, Ziggy realises that no meltdown means no sugar and no sugar means.. actually, he forgot. How did the dude who solved it forget what he was trying to say?? Anyways, they start going detective mode while Sportacus is working out.

During the montage, Trixie appears in an eight second cameo. I'm glad she isn't in the episode for much. Ziggy finds lollipops from the cake they baked and follows a trail of them, and they come from Robbie. He then realizes that he stole the cake!! (Shocker.) They decide they have to get the key. Pixel puts an antenna (how did an eight year old make that?) on Stingy's car and Ziggy sits on the hood. Stephanie is in charge of the remote. She drives the car over to the tree where the key is.

Ziggy stands up and jumps to reach the key. However he's too short so he uses a lollipop but the kids yell NO!! and tell him not to do it. What, did they think he was gonna throw it up the tree? Anyways, he licks the lollipop and sticks it to key. Success!!

Ziggy unlocks the cell and everyone is happy. Especially Stephanie who turned Asian for a while. She puts her hands up in a shape that looks like she is holding invisible katanas. Anyways, they go back to Milford's house and bake an unappetizing looking cake (turn that frosting brown and it looks like something from a deleted scene of the Two Girls One Cup video.) to lure Robbie into.

Milford comes to the house and asks Sportacus if he broke out of jail (does Milford really think he did it?), but Sportacus reveals that the kids found out who really did it. They place the cake in the cell veeerryyy carefully, which I found useless, because Robbie wasn't gonna hear them.

Robbie wakes up and smells the cake then he falls down from his sleeping paddock then sees a trail of cupcakes leading to the jail. Someone slams the door shut and everyone realizes it's Robbie.

Robbie tries to decline he swiped the sweets. Ziggy says that he has frosting all over his face, then Robbie takes some and flicks it on Bessie. (In my opinion, that didn't help, because he had tons more on his face.) Sportacus gives Milford the cake, and Robbie goes back to his lair (he carries the jail with him, LOL). Milford gives her the cake and they all sing the Bing Bang song.

Actually a pretty good episode. Not much to say, although that the lack of Sportacus scenes was annoying. Good episode, though.

7/10

[shirtlesssammy]

15x15: Gimme Shelter

Then:

Dean used his words to save the world once

Now:

At a food bank community center, three teens dole out food while stressing out about one attendant who’s breaking their cleanliness rules. Connor heads over to talk to the woman, but is stopped by the center’s pastor. The pastor challenges Connor’s motivation. ”We have rules, but we also have spirit too, right?” The pastor tells Connor to lead with compassion, so Connor brings the woman food instead of kicking her out of the building. 

Later, Connor walks home. Much like all other cold open walks, this one also involves a solitary alley. He hears someone calling his name. Trying to find the source of the voice, he trips and finds a talking teddy bear, and a metal hook around his neck.

Dean and Sam discuss research. Sam’s found a non-case, while Dean’s hit the jackpot in Atlantic City. Specifically, an unexplained blackout has him thinking that Amara’s enjoying her new gambling addiction on the East Coast. 

Cas pops up and thinks he should go with the brothers, but they tell him to stay put and babysit Jack. I say TFW is just better together, but I’m not writing this episode. Hrmph. The brothers are packed and ready to go, but Jack stops them in the war room to ask about the case Sam found.

Sam tells him it’s nothing. Dean encourages Cas and Jack to investigate --to keep Jack busy. Cas seems skeptical, but Dean insists.

Agents Swift and Lovato meet with the local law enforcement to learn more about the case. Sweet Jesus is it cute that Cas continues to use pop-star names. It’s cute that Jack takes after his father with the upside down badge. It’s cute that Jack recognizes the teddy bear and says he has one (Did Cas buy it for him? He has a history of buying stuffed animals for his quasi-children.) 

The sheriff tells them about the victim, and how the word ‘Liar’ was carved into him. 

Jack posits that this all seems demonic. 

Cut to Cas digging into the ground at a crossroads. Time to get some information. Cas buries a picture of himself that Dean took when he was wearing a cowboy hat (Don’t worry, Dean still has his copy, and keeps it safe…. for reasons.) and Jack sets up a social media account. He’s WAY under 13 years old, so he needs a parent’s permission. Cas grants it easily. (Also, ALSO!! ALSO, there are NOT too many cats on the internet. This writing is so OOC, smh.) 

A demon appears. 

He’s channeling his inner Crowley, and I suddenly miss the bugger for a moment. Zach, the demon, is very bored and desperately wants something to do. He’s not really British and tells the duo that no one's making demon deals right now. Rowena’s of the philosophy that “people will end up where they belong.” Cas realizes their mistake and moves to leave.  “Sam was right, it’s not a monster,” Jack laments. “He was half right. Sometimes humans can be the worst kind of monsters,” Cas adds. 

At the community center, a woman locks up, and grabs a whole lotta cash from the donation box before she bails. Once outside, she hears a voice call her name. She looks around but sees nothing. She turns back to her car to find a masked individual. A weird editing choice cuts back to her...and commercial. 

Cas checks in with the brothers. Dean tells Cas to be wary of those “Hallelujah types” and I’m like, wha? Cas is an ANGEL OF THE LORD. He’s been around the block, Dean. Lol for looking out for your BFF, tho. Also, second awkward moment of the episode when Dean just hangs up on Cas? I’m…

Sam voices his reservations about the whole finding Amara --lying to Amara --killing Amara plan. Say it louder for the brother in the seat next to you, Sam! 

(Boris: I’m just going to insert this in the middle of this recap and never mention it again. Can we trust Billie? Is her plan actually something that is GOOD for our TFW 2.0? What is her agenda and does it align with what we want? What if what SHE wants is as equally bad as what Chuck wants? What if we as an audience are getting played right now??) (Natasha: What if the strings she’s pulling are emotional and she’s playing a dangerous game of chicken with Dean’s rage and Chuck’s entitlement?)

Jack joins the community center. He watches Dr. Sexy the pastor in a prayer circle, and talks to a disillusioned young woman who asks him to fill out a form before walking away. 

Cas walks in separately and wanders over to Dr. Sexy the pastor praying with a parishioner, and tells him about the cash stealing Valerie. She never made it home. 

Cut to Valerie tied and gagged. Her hands are in an elaborate guillotine. She wakes. Her screams are muffled. A TV turns on and flashes the word ‘Thief’. And one of her fingers gets chopped off. A timer starts on the TV. AND WE ALL RECOIL. 

Jack finishes the paperwork and tries to talk to the girls working the food line. The one girl storms off, upset. Jack follows her and tells her that he didn’t mean to upset her. 

She tells him that Connor and her dated. Well, they watched a lot of old movies together.  (AHEM! AHEM! AHEM! “I’m your Huckleberry.” AHEM. Please stop the clowning, it hurts so much.) 

Jack confesses to the girl that he lost his mother. The girl tells Jack that her mom died three years ago, and now it’s just her and her emotionally unavailable father, the pastor. “I have more dads than most, and I’m always just feeling like I’m letting all of them down.” JACK!!!! The girl tells Jack to trust God, not people. 

And we laugh, and laugh, and, guh, laugh. 

Cas, meanwhile, meets with Dr. Sexy the pastor. 

Cas interrogates Dr. Sexy Pastor about whether anyone else has gone missing recently. Well, there was one guy who used to work for the “faith-based community” but they parted ways. Cas and the pastor enjoy a little god talk. Cas, the weary angel, opines that God just doesn’t care. The pastor has a different take on faith - it’s about the people of his church doing what they can to take care of each other. We learn that this church recently changed from a fundamentalist branch to something more welcoming. Connor was able to come out as gay due to the changes, so some good happened. (Hindsight thoughts: this makes his death and the “Liar” all the more awful.) “A saint is a sinner who keeps trying,” the pastor concludes...and if that ain’t the truth about Cas!

Sam and Dean are on the too-slow train to Atlantic City when Amara drops in during a gas stop and invites them out for pierogi. 

At Patchwork, the pastor asks Jack to share his journey of faith during a prayer circle. Jack falters, and Cas steps in. “I do know what blind faith is. I used to just follow orders. Without question. And I did some pretty terrible things. I would never look beyond the plan. Then, of course, when it all came crashing down I found myself lost. I didn’t know what my purpose was anymore. And then one day something changed. Something amazing. I guess I found a family. And I became a father. And in that, I rediscovered my faith. I rediscovered who I am.” BRB crying!

Later in the cafeteria, Jack asks Sexy Pastor, M.D. how he brought together so many people with different ideas of religion. “It’s not about what they believe. It’s what they do,” he reiterates. (I imagine, for a moment, an ending where Jack calls out to the whole world and all living creatures and Heaven and Hell unite to win the final confrontation and make a better world together.)

The tranquil moment is interrupted by the TV turning on to security feed footage of the victim. The timer runs out and she loses another finger and screams and screams. Jack rushes over to the TV and pulls out a USB stick from the back.

Meanwhile, the Winchesters dine with Amara.

They bring up Chuck’s destruction of the other universes and tell her they have a plan to stop him. They’ve got a nephilim on their side AND he’s super powerful. All they need is for Amara to help them trap Chuck and...WHAMMO. Amara gently refuses to betray her brother. She lays some new mythology on them. She and Chuck are twins - creation and destruction - and their splitting apart first brought life into the world. 

Cas and Jack barge into the church’s ex-AV tech’s room. And by that, I mean, Jack gets hurled through another door? Um. Okay. The part of me that grew up with 3 Stooges is HERE FOR IT, tbh. 

They discover the guy is dead, chained up in bed with cuffs, with the word “lust” painted above him.

Getting ready to leave town, Sam’s ready to accept Amara’s choice. Dean “Fuck Acceptance” Winchester heads back inside and corners Amara. He asks why she brought back Mary. 

Amara tells him that she wanted him to see that the apple pie dream life he’s always striving for isn’t real - that Mary was only human - and BETTER because of that. Amara thought that would help him to accept his life. Amara also thought that having Mary back would release Dean from his anger. 

He leans forward and lets her know that he’s furious. Everyone in this universe is trapped, he tells her - including her. And she’s doing nothing. Amara falters in the face of this, and then asks him if she can trust him. “I would never hurt you,” he LIES TO HER FACE. She tells him she’ll think about it.

That evening Sylvia, the pastor’s daughter, listens to her friend gush over the social media attention she’s getting after posting about the torture video. In a flash of rage, Sylvia stabs her friend and races away. Dr. Sexy Pastor finds the current (still alive) victim just as Sylvia catches up to him. She accuses him of laughing at her mother after her mother died from trying to heal by prayer rather than medical science. She accuses him of changing the church that her mother grew up in. Jack jumps into the fray and gets stabbed for his trouble. When Cas arrives, Sylvia is quickly subdued by his Vulcan forehead tap of slumber.

Cas yanks away the restraints from the victim (SOOOO strong) and then heals her fingers back on while the pastor looks on in wonder. 

For So Strong Science:

Later, they gather outside while Sylvia gets taken away in cuffs. The pastor still cares about his daughter and vows to get her help. The driver of the car is Zach the crossroads demon? Oookay. 

Cas and Jack drive home. In the truck of feelings, Cas asks Jack why he couldn’t share during the prayer circle. Jack confesses that he’s been lying. The spell Billie is doing with him is turning him into a bomb to be used against Chuck and Amara. It’ll work - they’ll cease to exist. But Jack will be obliterated too. “This is the only way they’ll ever forgive me,” he tells Cas. 

Cas is horrified. He can’t watch Jack die again! Cas refuses to watch Jack die again, but Jack seems to have fully embraced this as his necessary fate.

Back at the bunker, Dean heads for the whiskey bottle late at night when he spots Cas shuffling towards the exit. Jack’s settled in his room, Cas reports. Cas then tells Dean he’s going to look for “another way.” 

Oh AND, “In case something goes wrong and I don’t make it back, there’s something you and Sam need to know…” 

FADE. TO. BLACK.  

The Se7en Deadly Quotes:

You guys go Highway to Heaven that bitch

You look greener than Baby Yoda

“Did anyone find any tiny bags with chicken bones inside?” “Did anyone smell sulfur?” “Did anyone feel cold?”

There were too many cats

Where can I find the Kool-Aid?

I wanted you to see that your mother was just a person

It was a gift, Dean. Not a trial

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[mooberg]

Among the Statues

Chapter 5: Waves on the Rocks

All it took was a deal to get me to chapter 5 lol. Not satisfied with this one, but it’s fine. There will be more.

Lvc created by @voiceoflarka

Word Count: 3300 exactly lol

Warnings: None, it’s actually a light chapter

Enjoy!

Horns fell to his knees, sliding in the wet earth and acquiring several tiny cracks from the rocks hidden in the grass. He'd probably feel them tomorrow, not that he wanted to face tomorrow. He didn't even want to face the next couple hours.

There was no way he could wake them all up. But if he left them there…

He felt himself running away from that courtyard of shards even as he stayed rooted in the field. He couldn't bear to see his team in that state. They were... family. They were family. And he hoped he'd have the chance to tell them that. He'd make sure of it.

With a deep breath, he crossed his legs, flinching at the pain in his knees. Okay so maybe tomorrow had come early. And maybe he'd have enough strength to push through.

~

He weighed his options carefully as his eyes moved from face to face. Ultimately, he knew who he needed first.

"Agh, my wings!" Her voice jolted Horns out of his trance immediately.

"Gamms?" He rushed to his feet and then to her, hoping to help in some way. But he should have known she'd be able to handle herself, and he reaffirmed that notion as she methodically crunched through the ice encasing her wings.

"Horns." She eventually looked up at his offered hand, allowing him to pull her to her feet.

"Are you alright?" He asked worriedly.

"Me? I'm fine." She dismissed. "You woke me up, so you resisted her spell again. Are you okay? Did she hurt you?"

Horns shook his head unconvincingly. "I'm fine."

"Horns." Gamma stepped closer, trying to get a better read on his face. "Did she hurt you?"

"I said I'm fine, I just-" Horns cut himself off with a sigh. "We have bigger things to worry about."

Gamma chose to let that drop for the moment but made a note to circle back. She looked across at her team with worry.

"I don't think I can do it." Horns said quietly.

"And we can't just leave them here."

"And if we try to move them..."

"But I don't want you pushing yourself too far..."

"We don't have a choice." Horns' whisper was laced with defeat.

"What's that going to do to you?" Gamma asked, knowing he'd already resigned himself to pushing too far.

"Wish I knew." He replied. "Then maybe this wouldn't be so hard."

"You've proven to be capable of four dives in a day-"

Horns cut her off with a shake of his head. "No, I'm not nearly that close yet. Waking up the four of you almost killed me. I could barely manage three."

"And now we have six." Gamma sighed.

"I have to do it." Horns decided, hopelessness in his voice. He walked back to the spot he'd fallen before. Gamma followed, stretching out a wing over him to shield the rain as best she could.

"Wake up Psi first. He can help." She said, placing a hand softly on his shoulder. There was nothing else she even knew to say in this near-impossible scenario. Horns needed Psi, but she did as well.

Horns just nodded, staring down the team with fearful determination.

~

"... could be waking back up at any moment now. It would not be advisable to continue into multiple mind dives without consulting us first."

"Are you my Rabbi now?" Horns asked as he slowly opened his eyes.

"Technically, yes." Psi replied without missing a beat. "But do not call me that again."

"Okay Sifu Psi." Horns quipped.

"I am glad to see the situation has not dulled your sense of humor." Psi sighed. He shuffled a little closer to where Horns remained seated, ducking under Gamma's wing.

"Well," Horns shrugged, "there's something to be said for laughing through the tears."

"Or laughing through the fear." Psi shot back.

The remark sobered Horns up immediately and he looked away. "Something like that..."

"It's too much." Psi echoed his thoughts as he crouched next to the trainee. "Far more dives than you've ever done, or even are aware of having capacity for."

"I want to be able to do it." Horns whispered, voice barely perceptible over the falling rain. "I need to be able to do it. I'm just afraid..."

"That you cannot." Psi finished.

"I can't leave them behind. Any of them." Horns' eyes flashed with a spectrum of emotion as he looked at his team. Fear, anger, apprehension.

"You will not." Psi placed a hand on his shoulder. "You are stronger than you know."

Horns pulled away from his touch with a wince, a similar sentiment in a more icy voice echoing in his head.

"What is it?" Psi asked, brow furrowing in concern.

"You're not the first one to say that to me today." Horns shook his head as if to clear it. "But we don't have time to talk about that right now."

Psi filed that away in his mind, with a mental note to circle back at some point. "You are not alone here, Horns."

"But they're all frozen-"

"What are we to you, chopped liver?" Gamma joked, nudging his shoulder with her knee.

"And as you wake them up, you will have them at your side." Psi added.

Horns nodded. That whole speech didn't go how Psi had intended, Dragon ruined it. Dragon had ruined a lot of things lately. But Horns could see he was trying, and that was enough. He knew Psi always tried, and so should he.

"Alright." He sighed, settling into the grass. "See you on the other side."

 ~~~*~~~

 "He's shaking." Jolly reported, pressing her hand against Horns' chest where he leaned against her as she began to feel the vibrations.

Psi tore his gaze away from Glitch where she was braced to catch Callow when he woke up, his last memory being the fight with Dragon. That top hat could go off any second. He made his way quickly to the pair huddled under Gamma's wing.

"Did this just start?" He asked softly, feeling for himself.

"I think so." Jolly nodded. "He's really cold..."

He watched Horns' pulse for a few seconds. It was elevated and brighter than normal, but not to an alarming degree. He gave Jolly a small nod. "We will get him warm as soon as possible."

"He's got to be exhausted." Gamma remarked.

"He will be. I doubt he will stay conscious for long if he wakes Callow up." The signs of fatigue were clear and based on the Satyr's reaction last time he pushed himself too far, he was confident in his assumption.

"When." Jolly corrected firmly. "When he wakes Callow up."

Psi hesitated, ready to correct her, but instead just nodded. He didn't want to upset her with his realism, no matter how much faith he had in his trainee.

"If she can freeze us so quick... how are we going to stop her?" Equo spoke of Dragon, turning in place to continue her pacing. The grass would have a permanent line in it soon.

"We'll just have to be more on the ball." Peony said. "This was the first time we fought her. We didn't know what we were up against."

"We couldn't even land a single punch." Glitch agreed, her focus on Callow unwavering. "Her reflexes are something else."

"We can strategize once we get somewhere safe." Psi said. "We do not even know where she is currently."

Peony quirked an eyebrow. "Where are we go-"

"Come at me bi- oh, hi Glitch." Callow halted his run quickly, an explosion going off a few dozen feet behind them. It was thankfully in the treeline and likely wouldn't cause any harm. "What the fuck happened?"

"She got away." Glitch explained quickly. "Not before freezing us. Horns has been waking us up."

"Is he okay?" Callow asked her softly. Glitch's pained reaction spelled out the 'I don't know' better than her words could, and he gripped her shoulder tight for a moment.

"We don't know where she went, what she wants..." Peony shook her head. "We don't know anything."

The Gator virus whipped out his tablet, holding his hat over it to protect from the rain. "Nothing on surveillance. She just... disappeared."

"We need to do the same." Gamma said. "We need time to regroup and rest. Especially Horns."

"Where are we going?" Peony tried to ask again.

Horns came out of his trance slowly, slumping onto Jolly with an agonized groan of pain and pulling everyone's attention. She and Psi reacted quickly, supporting his exhausted frame.

"Did I do it?" He asked, voice barely even a whisper. "Are they okay?"

"You did it." Jolly replied even more softly, kissing him on the cheek. "You can rest now, Horny, we're okay."

With a sigh, he collapsed further onto her, completely spent.

"That is that then." Psi announced with a curt nod.

"Then let's get going." Gamma finally folded her wing behind her back and scooped Horns up bridle style. "It's a bit of a journey and we should stop at the dorm for some dry clothes."

"But where are we going?"

 ~~~*~~~

 The world slowly melted into a sea of pain as Horns felt the sweet embrace of sleep ebb away. Wave after wave of agony washed over him, throbbing in his skull like the bass at a concert. It stole his breath away until he felt himself gasping for air.

Hands were suddenly on him, pulling his arms away. He didn't understand why until he felt the pressure of his palms against his temples. He was trying to find some semblance of relief but in the process may only be finding harm. He let the hands guide him, listening to their muted voices far too distant to comprehend. One ran down the side of his face, but he flinched away from what could once have been a calming gesture.

The pinprick in his right arm that normally would have pulled his full attention was swept up in another wave of pain. The hands remained, but the voices slowly faded away, washing back to shore until he was left in the soothing black void once again.

~

The second time Horns slipped back into consciousness was much slower and, thankfully, calm. Black gave way to soft yellow, and this time he actually managed to open his eyes, blinking against the light even though it was low. A quick self check-in showed a slight headache remaining, and a mental exhaustion unlike anything he'd ever felt before. But his body was done with sleep, so he sluggishly looked around.

The walls were old, muted in colour. Everything was lit up with a series of lamps, casting spots of yellow and white light in various random parts of the room. And the ceiling... was covered with webs. Horns had to force himself to lie still, knowing that if he shot up now like he wanted to he'd spike his headache. In any case, his view of the ceiling was quickly blocked out as an angel overtook it.

"Welcome back." Jolly greeted him with a soft grin.

Horns didn't say anything, just pulled her to him and held her close. He pressed his lips to her hair and just breathed her in for a couple of minutes. To her credit, she didn't say anything. But he supposed there was nothing to say.

"Are you alright?" He eventually whispered, voice hoarser than he anticipated.

"Yeah." She replied. "Yeah, we all are."

Horns let out a long sigh, letting his eyes close.

Jolly squirmed in his grasp and he loosened his grip to let her, drawing his eyes back open as he felt her gaze on him. "What about you?"

"Let me wake up all the way." He said. "Then I'll give you a full report."

"Sit up at least." Jolly prodded him. "Everyone's been waiting."

He let her pull him up, the 'everyone' causing his soul to flare. Everyone. His team. Were they okay? Had he really done it? Or was Jolly just lying to him to make him feel better?

She wasn't. Horns could have sobbed right then and there as he took in the sight of them but fought it down. They were okay. They were alive and whole and right here with him in... wherever they were. Relief wrote itself plainly across his face.

"You're... okay." He sighed. "You're all okay."

"We're alright." It was Callow that responded first, and the softness in his voice made Horns smile at his old friend.

"How long was I out?" He asked, rubbing his tired eyes with the hand not in Jolly's soft grasp.

"Almost thirteen hours."

That startled him more than it should have, and his hand froze in it's descent towards what he now realized was an air mattress. He looked around at his team hunkered down in the small studio apartment.

Glitch was at the foot of the air mattress, curled up like she, too, had recently woken up. The mattress was only a double, and Horns would guess she'd let Jolly sleep next to him so they could still give him some space. Peony, Equo, and Callow leaned up against the left wall, Equo's legs in Peony's lap. Psi and Gamma sat on the edge of an actual mattress, propped up on what looked like stacks of books. Horns briefly worried for their backs in that position, but beggars couldn't be choosers.

They looked happy to see him awake, but there was an obvious tiredness underneath. It looked like they'd been keeping themselves occupied in the restless quiet for hours, which they probably had been while they waited for him to wake.

He sighed. "I haven't slept that long in forever."

"You were exhausted. Understandably." Horns gave Psi a once-over. His expression was unreadable as usual, but the prominent tension in his shoulders belied the stress they all felt. Magnified, no doubt, as this was his team of trainees.

"How'd we get here? And where is here?" Horns looked himself over. "...and who changed my clothes?"

"That was me." Glitch said, too tired to wink or react in any Glitchy way. The relief was clear on her face, and the fear she must have been experiencing over the past thirteen hours or more hit Horns like a ton of bricks.

"We stole some bikes and I flew you here." Gamma also looked tired, but the familiar spark in her eye was not gone, and that soothed him more than he'd ever say. "We're at one of our safe houses in Night Lover."

Horns was tempted to ask about the webs, but let the question die before it even touched his lips. He couldn't be sure, but he had a feeling his mentors wouldn't want to give the answer.

"Any activity from Dragon?" He asked.

"None." Callow replied. "Streets have been stupid quiet." For Callow to be in sweatpants, the situation really must have been dire. They were designer, and printed with little white stars, but still. Horns couldn't decide if they clashed with the top hat or not, but that was more Cal's specialty anyway.

"The situation has calmed and is under control, Horns." Psi assured him. "It would be prudent to worry about your own wellbeing for the moment. How are you feeling now that you have awoken?"

His knees suddenly piped up to remind him of their cracks, but he brushed that aside. "I'm still exhausted but I don't think I could sleep more even if I tried. And my head still kills."

"Here, drink this." A water bottle was suddenly thrust into his hand. Peony looked down at him with hard eyes, the mask she typically adopted to hide her emotions shielding her from the world. "You hungry?"

Horns shook his head, missing the way Psi frowned at his response.

"Would you try eating if I brought you something?" Peony prodded.

"No I..." The thought of food actually made him feel nauseous. "I'm really not hungry."

Peony just nodded, going to sit back beside Equo. The shorter woman's silence spoke more than her words ever could; exhaustion, frustration, and fear taking root deep within her. He held her eye, the two silently checking in. She was fine, but she'd be better when all this was over.

"So..." Jolly nudged him with her shoulder. "you have any visions?"

"Dreamless sleep." Horns shook his head.

"We don't know where to go from here." Peony said.

"No leads, no idea what she wants," Gamma purposefully looked right into his soul. "nothing."

Horns sucked in a sharp breath.

"What happened?" Glitch asked softly.

"We would have been frozen at least a few minutes before you could wake one of us up." Psi chimed in.

"What did she say to you?" It was Jolly's ever soft tone that grounded him, and he leaned toward her slightly.

"She didn't tell me anything." He said. "About her goals, her intentions, anything about her at all."

"She didn't say anything to you?" Gamma pushed.

Horns made a few noncommittal facial expressions, too tired to even bother with gestures.

"What. Did she. Say?" Glitch growled, her protective nature pulling at his heartstrings in a way no one would expect from the anger in her voice.

"Well... you saw the way she looked at me!" The words burst out of him, the fear and anxiety untethered with the sheer exhaustion that still blanketed him. "Like I was some prize to be won, some exotic bird she was just itching to lock away in a guilded cage."

He looked briefly at Psi. "She told me I had potential, practically salivating at the idea of the... power I hold, I guess? And the thought of her helping me unlock that power. Training me. And she said that she knew me, knew more about me than I thought. I think she's latched on to the idea of testing me through all this."

"So it's become some sort of sick game." Gamma summarized. "Now that she's got the world in her grasp, she wants to play with the only one who keeps getting in her way."

"I guess." Horns frowned, the prospect deeply disturbing to him.

"Then we'll just have to not give her a chance."

~

With little else to do, the team settled in to the quiet of the small apartment. The storm had long since passed, and there was, of course, no city noise outside. Every word spoken cut through the silence like a knife. At some point Gamma and Psi had left through the bramble covered front door, the thorny vines receding when they passed through, and growing back once they were gone. Psi wasn't taking any chances.

On his orders Horns had remained in bed, continuing his rest. He hadn't needed much convincing. Glitch and Jolly piled in with him, the rest of the team letting the triad have their space. And, well, they didn't want to pop the air mattress.

"You're worried." Glitch said quietly, looking over the lines etched across his face.

He pulled himself out of his thoughts to look at her, tearing his eyes away from Jolly sleeping soundly across their laps. "I mean... yeah."

"What do you think she'll do to you?" She asked.

"I wish I knew." He sighed. "The way she spoke about teaching me, 'shaping my mind'..."

"Do you think she'd want you for her own?" The question stung, but it had to be asked.

"I think she'd be delighted to try." Horns said. "And once she had me- well, I'd rather not think about that."

"We're not going to let her take you." Glitch promised him firmly.

Horns offered her a weak smile. Deep down, he didn't think it would matter if they even tried.

[general-mahamatra]

Oops

So I am the DM of what was initially a joke and is now a seriously fun AU that is

Newsies in an Infinite IKEA.

I felt like sharing them with y’all, but I’ll go ahead and toss everything under the line to keep this from being much clutter. But first, here are the characters (and their play-by!)

<Characters>

Davey: Cleric -- @musicals-and-zazz​ Race: Thief (Rogue) -- @alltherays​ Smalls: Bard -- @albert-eats-cookie-cake​ Specs: Cleric -- @snakeyboimusical​ Spot: Barbarian -- @sweeps-of-london​

<NPCS>

Jed: Guard ?????: ?? ???????: ??

<Trust Levels>

?????: 65% (Medium) ???????: 32% (Low)

<Session One>

Welcome to the Infinite Ikea. As everyone knows, Ikea is massive and full of insane furniture and items with such weird names that if you tried to pronounce them, you’d summon a demon. But sometimes… sometimes it’s a bit too big. On the outside, it’s not that bad. It’s the size of a normal Ikea but with some exceptions. It is surrounded by a massive chain link fence and there is only one entrance: the main entrance. There are no garages for deliveries or side entrances for emergencies. There is only the massive door in the front of the building. Two men clad in black and holding guns stand on either side of the doors. You are huddled in the bushes outside of the fence. What will you do?

Spot, Smalls, and Specs try to enter IKEA through the front gate.

Spot and Specs insist upon needing to use the bathroom

Race is hella annoyed

Spot gets shot and killed by a guard

Return to the Beginning

Spot, Smalls, and Specs try to enter IKEA through the front gate

Smalls is on Spot’s shoulders it’s kinda cute

Spot asks if IKEA is open

Jed says “No”

They keep pressing that it’s open and Jed keeps saying no

With Jed distracted, Race climbs the fence and manages to sneak around behind the guards

Of course, Race was extra when he climbed the fence and flipped off of it. Style points.

Spot puts down Smalls and tries to go pee in a bush but he just kinda... he doesn’t pee

Race sneaks up behind Guard 2 and elbows him in the back of the head

Guard 2 falls pretty hard and hits his head on the cement, knocking him out

Race tries to do it again to Jed but just ends up tapping him on the back

Jed turns around and stares at Race, asking "How the fuck did you get in here?", trailing off when he sees his unconscious buddy. When he notices, he takes the defensive and swings his gun, hitting Race in the head. 

Race took 5 damage

Race tries to lie and say he works at the IKEA

Smalls tries to play their kazoo to distract Jed

The kazoo distracts Jed and he doesn’t notice Spot climbing over the fence

Specs tries to climb the fence as well but gets caught on the chain link. His shirt starts to rip but he pulls himself free and gets over

Spot tries to go after Jed and take him out

Spot barely missed Jed, his attack just swiping by the guard

Smalls keeps trying to distract the guard

Jed is still pretty distracted but is just aware enough to swing at Spot. Only Jed fails miserably and ends up shooting himself in the leg

Race gets back to his feet but is whining like a little bitch in pain. He swings for Jed, as does Spot

Neither land hits and Jed swings for Spot again but his attempt was feeble and he missed by at least two feet

Smalls pulls out their Otamatone to distract Jed even more

It works and Jed gains disadvantage

Specs swings for Jed and lands a hit

Jed took 2 damage

Spot tries to disarm Jed and take his gun

Jed, some how holy mother of God, dodges out of the was of Spot and keeps his gun

it’s really important to me that i just share this with you guys. these were the two rolls for jed with disadvantage in order to keep his gun. (spot rolled an 18)

okay let’s continue

Race tries to swing at Jed with a knife

Race fuckin’ missed like RIP dude

Specs tries to disarm Jed since Spot failed

Specs is successful and the gun goes flying

Race tries to punch Jed in the head but misses like the little bitch he is

Specs also tries to punch Jed in the head but his punch misses so badly and it had so much force behind it that it sent Specs flying with his own momentum

Smalls tries to politely ask to get through to avoid the violence: "can i please go through pretty please with a cherry on top of a banana sundae" 

Jed says “No, you cannot”

Spot tries to put Jed in a chokehold and it works

Specs tries to kick Jed in the gut and the hit lands

Jed took 3 damage

Smalls politely asks to get through again: "if you let me through you will be the literal best-"

It works perfectly. "I mean, sure, why not. It's not going to be my fault when you guys die."

The group questions why they would die, Jed simply says "No one comes back out. Go before I change my mind."

Spot grabs the discarded gun (AK - 103) and somehow puts it in his backpack. Magic backpack

The group enters the IKEA

When the group goes inside, they are greeted by a pitch black IKEA. The only light source they have is the doors behind them casting the bright LED light onto the cash registers before them. Everything was completely empty and eerie.

The group tries to find a light switch but do not find one

Smalls lights a piece of paper on fire and they are able to see a little bit more

Specs does a cartwheel for no reason and falls halfway through, hitting his head on the floor

Specs took 2 damage

The group bickers while Spot tries to search for useful stuff

Spot finds half a roll of one-ply toilet paper and an IKEA hat

Specs follows suit and does the same

Specs finds half a roll of one-ply toilet paper and a little party hat

Race is a bit more suspicious but explores as well

Race finds a children's book titled ‘Good Night Moon’ and a pile of small bones

Race questions the group on who they are, they start to bicker some more

Race is recognized as a popular TikTok creator by Specs and Smalls. Davey and Spot have no idea who he is

They all introduce themselves

Davey takes the lead so the group can explore

When the group begins to wander away from the front door, the IKEA seems to grow darker. Soon enough the light source fades away and all they have is the quickly dwindling flame from Smalls. Spot gets the urge to try and go back.

Spot tries to go back and find an exit despite the protests of the group (Smalls is back on Spot’s shoulders by this time)

When Spot rounds the corner they just came from, instead of finding the front doors he comes face to face with more pitch black. But, because he had Smalls with him, he could see it was just isles of pots and pans. The front doors were gone.

Davey joins the two

Spot panics because the front entrance is now gone

Specs tries to stay behind but gets yelled at by Race and joins them

The group bickers about where the exit is supposed to be and how Spot must’ve taken a wrong turn

Everyone hears the faint voice of someone though they can't understand what they're saying. Davey, though, hears something along the lines of "The store -- exit  -- building"

Everyone stops to listen to the faint voices 

Race asks what it said and Davey repeats the chopped up dialogue

Spot shouts at the voice for it to speak up

"The store -- exit  -- building" It was a bit louder this time.

The group starts to be iffy, commenting about how they’re being stalked

"The store -- closed, please exit  -- building"

Race gets angry and shouts back at the voice

"The store -- closed, please exit  -- building"

Specs comments about it possibly being a labyrinth

Checkpoint 1

The group agrees to try and find and exit

Spot thinks the voice is friendly

Race hears a voice that tells him to “Run” and he grows anxious, insisting that the group needs to run

The voice keeps repeating itself over and over, growing louder as the group stands around and argues about what to do. Some want to run while others want to stay.

Race’s panic and insistence on running starts to freak out the other group members

"The store is currently closed, please exit the building"

Davey yells at it to shut up

Davey hears the voice that Race did telling him to “Shut up, it hears you”

Davey is now freaked out and tries to silence the other group members

Race keeps trying to convince the rest of the group to run because he’s a scared little bitch

"The store is currently closed, please exit the building" The voice is much closer now, almost as if it's around the corner.

Davey keeps telling people to shut up because goddamn, Spot doesn’t know how to be quiet

Race hears the voice telling him to run again he screams and books it into the darkness

Davey and Spot chase after Race (after Spot set Smalls down)

Spot tells Davey to stay with Smalls

Davey goes back

Race is terrified and insists that they need to leave and Spot just kinda picks him up

Oh yeah they basically switched heights in this lol

"The store is currently closed, please exit the building"

The rest of the group joins Spot and Race

"The store is currently closed, please exit the building"  "Please exit the building, we are now closed." There's two voices now.

Spot sets Race down but Race panics more and grabs Spot

"The store is currently closed, please exit the building" "Please exit the building, we are now closed."

Everyone books it

When the group takes off, two figures round the corner, the voices coming directly from them. One was tall...at least, its torso was. It had to be seven feet tall, its hands stretching all the way down to its knees. Of all of its height, his legs were only two feet. Its hands were the size of melons and its skin was white. And its face? There was nothing. It was flat and voice of all features. The other one was just as tall but more legs than torso. It looked vaguely more human than the other but with hands just as big and a bit wider. Both of them were dressed like IKEA workers. "The store is currently closed, please exit the building" "Please exit the building, we are now closed."

The group stops running and Race continues to panic like wtf he’s such scaredy cat. Smalls is literally just playing on Spot’s switch right now in Specs’ arms while everything is happening.

The voice Davey and Race could hear is loud enough for everyone to hear now. It whisper-yells, "RUN!"

The group listens and runs again

The humanoid figures faded behind the corner but one of them snapped their head in the direction of the group. "The store is currently closed, please exit the building" "Please exit the building, we are now closed."

Davey tells everyone to shut up again as if that’s gonna be any help

Race runs into a shelf

Specs makes fun of him

Davey forces Race to keep moving

The sounds of pounding footsteps came up behind them: the humanoids were running.

Spot stops running and instead charges at the humanoid workers, screaming at the top of his lungs with a frying pan. Who knows where he got it cause I don’t 

Race screams so much he's literally like a little girl but he manages to muffle it and grabs onto Davey for dear life

Specs grabs a castiron skillet

Another large figure jumped down from one of the shelves, landing squarely on the mostly torso humanoid on all fours. No one could make out what creature it was, but one of the humanoids were down. The other kept charging the group. "Please exit the building, we are now closed."

Spot and Davey each try to attack the IKEAN but miss

The IKEAN misses its attack on Spot as well

Specs and Race both try to attack as well, both of them missing

Spot was close with his next attack but the IKEAN dodged out of the way just in time

Davey misses

The IKEAN misses Spot again

Specs aims for the IKEAN’s head with his skillet

Specs hits

IKEAN took 1 damage

Race misses

Spot misses

Davey finds a pan lying around and tries to hit the IKEAN with the pan

Davey hits

IKEAN took 3 damage

The IKEAN turns on Davey and swings at him

It hits

Davey took 4 damage

Specs lands another hit with a different pan

IKEAN took 3 damage

Race tries to swipe at the humanoid’s throat with his knife

Race completely misses and the humanoid actually swats him away, sending him sailing back towards where the creature is tearing into the other humanoid

Spot attacks the IKEAN again

Spot hits

IKEAN took 5 damage

Davey lands another hit

IKEAN took 6 damage

Specs successfully hits the IKEAN again

IKEAN took 3 damage

Spot missed again, just barely missing the humanoid

Davey missed again

The IKEAN misses Spot again

Whatever was mauling the other humanoid seemed to be barely paying attention. In fact, it barely registered that one of the humanoids arms got flung at Race who was now only a couple feet away.

Race is SHOOK TM and stares at the creature

The creature looked up, green, cat-like eyes somehow barely reflecting the light from Smalls' fire. When it made eye contact with Race, it darted away, disappearing in the dark and leaving the dead humanoid.

Race tries to communicate with the creature but it’s gone by the time he talks

Spot is running around the IKEAN making it dizzy and look stupid

The voice comes back to Race. It says: “Run. Run while you can.”

The voice is then with Spot. “Aim for the neck.”

Spot gains advantage for the rest of the battle

Spot honestly just sucks and still can’t hit the IKEAN

Race is about to run

A pair of hands press against Race’s back and whispers to him, “Not yet.”

Spot jumps on the IKEAN’s back

Spot grabs it by the collar of it's shirt, riding it like a beautiful fucking horse, and hitting it with reckless abandon

Spot is basically just playing the drums though and the IKEAN throws him off

Davey throws another pan and it hits

IKEAN took 1 damage

From somewhere in the shelves, an arrow comes flying and lodges itself directly in the skull of the humanoid. It stops flailing around and stops talking in that kind voice before falling to the ground with a thud.

Checkpoint 2

Spot is on the ground just dying like damn son

Davey is running around asking if anyone needs healing

No, there is no Genji

Spot makes some clever comments and breaks the fourth wall

Race is all “What the fuck is that thing?” About the dead IKEAN

The arrow appears to be made out of some sort of stainless steel attached to some sort of wooden dowel. The feathers on the end weren't even feathers, instead crude pieces of paper somehow attached to the wood. It was clear through the thing's head.

Davey take the arrow

A weird goopy residue covers the entire arrow. It's also sticky and white have fun.

Spot kicks the IKEAN’s body

Race begins to wonder if it means someone is on their side. “But this means someone else is on our side, right?”

Davey questions who else could possibly be there. "Who would come in this hellhole? Other than us, because you're all idiots."

An arrow thunked into a box on a shelf right next to Smalls who probably didn't react.

Spot immediately grabs Smalls and protects them

Davey and Race are really suspicious about the arrows

As Race glanced towards the arrow, the same set of green cat eyes appears behind Smalls.

Spot pulls Smalls away and stares at the eyes

The eyes turn towards Spot, staring for a few seconds before closing and disappearing.

Davey and Race try to figure out what to do when the voice returns and says “Hide.”

Davey suggests they climb and they do

First, Spot tries to grab the arrow and follow the eyes but the arrow is gone and the eyes too

The group brushes it off and climbs higher into the shelves

Race is short and gets a boost from Davey and Spot pulls him up

Another arrow lands near them, this time nearly hitting Spot and jamming into another box.

Davey grabs the arrow and examines it

In the metal arrow tip, there was an engraving: J.K.

They make it to the top and sit around using the small flame for a light as well as Spot’s switch

Davey brings this to the attention of the group

Spot thinks it’s J.K. Rowling

It’s not

Davey hands Race the arrow

The eyes appear behind Race, almost as if looking at the arrow.

The group reacts quickly, Spot grabbing Race, Race squeaking and panicking, and Davey being confused because he’s blind or something

They talk to the eyes, learning that the voice belongs to them

The group learns that whoever the eyes belong to knows one of the members 

Davey tries to ask for its name but gets no straight answer

“You don’t know me.” It was a statement of fact, not a question. “You never did.”

Davey asks if it knows who J.K. is

“A friend.”

Davey questions if the eyes want the arrow. It does.

Davey: "I don't mean to be rude, but why are you talking to us? We're not exactly useful."

The eyes narrowed but no more questions came. A hand reached out from behind Race to grab the arrow but they missed because Race happened to move it. It didn't answer Davey.

The group notices and Race squeaks like a little mouse again

The very human-like hand quickly pulled back, retreating into the darkness.

Spot is weirdly entranced in the cat eyes it’s pretty funny

Race asks what the eyes want and they reply with “Nothing.”

Davey figures out it’s lying

The eyes don’t tell the truth

Race: “We were being shot at ten seconds ago! I think we deserve some answers!” 

Another arrow landed in the box next to Race, all while the eyes stared at him. It had the same carving as the arrow Davey had.

Davey tries to make a deal with the eyes where they keep one arrow and give the other to the eyes

It fails

The eyes need them both

They come up with another deal

The two arrows for help and trust

The eyes ask how old everyone is and quickly starts to grow confused

Davey is 19

Race is 16 (Lied about being 18 but the eyes knew it was a lie)

Specs is 19

Smalls and Spot don’t answer

The eyes glanced around at the group, narrowing slightly. The voice seemed to have soften, a more human voice with confusion poking through. “That can’t be right.”

The group was confused

“You should be younger...” The hand took the arrow from Race without any hesitation and then the arrow from Davey.

Davey asks for the voice’s pronouns. They eyes don’t care.

The eyes disappeared

The group bickers some more

Spot tries to climb back down into the store

A hand grabs spot by the back of the shirt, reaching out from the darkness. “Don’t go down.”

Spot complains and asks why

“Be quiet and listen.” If they're quiet, the members can hear another faint voice of a worker.

The group goes quiet and listens and Race is a whiny little child and wants to go home

The slow thud of heavy footsteps passed below them. If they looked, they would see another white humanoid in an IKEA uniform.

The group is :o

The hand let go of Spot once the humanoid was gone. “Never go down in the dark.”

The group learns about the day and night cycle

"You stop telling time when you've been here this long."

Specs: "Is there anything we can use to tell how much time has passed, like if those things walk by on an hourly basis?"

"There is no rhyme or reason."

A small cat darts into the light illuminating the group. Green eyes gaze up at Davey. “You.” Yes, its mouth moved.

Davey: "Me?"

"What is your name."

Davey tells the cat his name.

The cat turned towards Race, its tail flicking. Its ginger fur seemed to stand out in the light of the flickering flame; an orange tabby. “And you?”

The cat makes its way around the group, its large green eyes illuminated by the light, just as piercing as the ones that followed the group around.

When the cat gets to Spot, Spot has a counter

Spot refuses to tell the cat his name unless he gets a name from the cat

The cat slithered back into the darkness, returning to a pair of eyes that were definitely far to high up to be right. “Why should I tell you?”

Spot: "Well, if you want my name so bad, I'd only be fair if I knew yours."  

The voice went silent for a bit before finally saying, “Talon.”

<End of Session One>

[dreamdaddydutch]

Sorry to make a request while you seem so busy with life and other writing but I had an idea that I couldn't get out of my head. Would you be willing to write some Dutch smut where he's wearing that lawman uniform and realizes that his s/o is really into it but is too shy and flustered to admit it so he takes matters into his own hands? I just need some indulgent daddy Dutch lol. If you don't feel like writing this it's totally cool and thanks for all of your other work ❤️

I apologise that this took me a literal age to write, but I really loved writing it and loved the idea so thank you! I’ve written this where Dutch and his s/o haven’t had sex yet, but have been kissing etc. I was originally writing this as gender neutral but got carried away so this is written for a fem! reader as you didn’t specify. But I’m planning on writing a version for male readers too. 

Warnings: Smut so 18+ - squirting  I  Word Count: 3,721 

Tight blue trousers, polished gold buttons, those lapels and that hat. Every part of the uniform drew you in. It wasn’t something you’d ever thought about or considered before, why would it have been? Living an outlaw life, you were hardly going to fraternise with the enemy. But Dutch? When Dutch wore the uniform, you discovered a need you didn’t even know you had.

You’d been busy chopping wood when Dutch, Arthur and Sadie rode back into camp, you’d always thought Dutch looked rather handsome and commanding when riding the Count. But now, you saw him in different light. The two of you had been exclusive for a short while, though with everything that had been happening you hadn’t even slept together yet. You slept by one another’s side, that was, when Dutch slept… You kissed, sometimes passionately, but sex just hadn’t been a pressing issue which was kind of nice. 

As you watched them ride you hadn’t realised that you’d stopped still, or that your mouth was open just a jar, agape at the sight, until Arthur placed a hand on your chin to close it.

Tight blue trousers, polished gold buttons, those lapels – that satisfied expression on his face from a job well done.

You jumped at the touch and felt your cheeks grow red, you heard Arthur chuckle as you continued with your chore. Try as you might to avoid looking up at Dutch, you couldn’t help but steal the odd glance at him. And for a brief moment, after hitching the Count, he caught your eye and smiled.

Immediately you placed the axe back and walked off to join Tilly who was helping to prepare dinner. You had a feeling there would be a celebration tonight and felt in great need of a drink, but first some cold water to cool you down. Of course you didn’t need to shy away from Dutch or any affections for him, but where everything was so new and others were likely to tease, you tried to play it cool. Which of course never works. 

Dutch gathered the remaining members of the gang round the campfire, it was nice to see him happy for once. But to be honest you didn’t hear a word he said, you were too busy staring at him, at the way the uniform clung to his figure, how snug the pants were on his ass and delicious the bulge between his legs looked. You found yourself swallowing hard after realising how incredibly dry your mouth had become. Between your legs you knew you were wet just from looking at him, how sturdy he seemed, how large his hands were and oh how good he looked when he had the attention of the others.

When Dutch finished speaking and the others went about handing out drinks and starting the celebrations, you followed him into his tent. You made sure to give it a few minutes so that the others didn’t see you as desperate for attention, but nothing could have prepared you for what you saw when you entered your tent. 

You witnessed Dutch, still in the lawman’s uniform, chest puffed out, strutting around a little. You stifled the giggle that was building. Dutch often commented on how stealthy you were when you moved around, footsteps light on the ground, as quiet as a mouse he would say. This was one of those moments, it was only for a few seconds but you managed to lean against the tent pole and watch him for a moment. 

When Dutch turned, he didn’t appear embarrassed at all, in fact quite the opposite. He raised his eyebrows at you, “Enjoying the show?” The asked. 

Those lapels, the polished boots, white gloves and that hat.

Dutch noticed the way you had looked at him from across the camp, the way your hand had travelled to your thighs without you even noticing. Legs clenched, teeth biting lip, the tension you carried and oh the way you trembled as he had brushed past you on the way to the tent. 

“Like what you see?” He mocked as you stared at him.

“I…erm,” you stumbled over your words and promptly turned on your heels and exited his tent crashing into Javier as you went. 

“You alright there ‘….’?”  Javier asked.

You jumped, not expecting anyone to be stood so close to the entrance of the tent, “Yes, fine, why?” You answered, but you knew the words you spoke rolled off your tongue far too quickly and more likely sounded like you said, “yeney?” and were talking gibberish.

Javier stared blankly at you confirming the fears that you had been talking gibberish.

“It’s nothing Javier, thank you.”

“Want a drink?”

You sighed and nodded, Javier was honestly one of the best listeners in camp so you followed him a little way outside the camp, beer in hand.  

When the two of you were sat down you opened up to him, telling him things you didn’t think you’d confess to anyone in the gang. 

That night you joined the others, drinking and celebrating, though deep down you weren’t entirely sure what you were celebrating. With so many of the gang members gone and tensions running high it seemed almost foolish to act this happy. But you couldn’t bare to pull everyone out of their good moods, so joined in, impervious to the real issues at hand for one night. 

Dutch, now in his usual attire, had pulled you into his arms to dance with him. Staring up into his wide eyes you could almost forget where you were and what, as a gang you had been through. 

Dutch’s eyes were on you the following day as you moved around the camp. Several times he’d brushed past you and kissed you softly on the cheek, definitely being more hands on than usual.

He handed you the lawman’s uniform, “This needs washing, if you would be so kind.”

You waited until no one before you buried your nose into the pile of clothes and inhaled his scent. You didn’t realise, but Dutch had been watching you. His hand not so subtly went down to his crotch and gently squeezed.

You let out an inaudible moan, and shuddered, Dutch noticed and smirked before turning away.

What was worse was as you were cleaning his undergarments you  spotted a rather large strain and were certain that you knew exactly what it was. 

It should have disgusted you, but instead it didn’t, it only served to aid in the pooling between your legs. Dutch had chosen to give you the uniform on purpose, he knew you’d see the stain. Your hands trembled so much that the water splashed a little over the side.

You cursed yourself and your inability to tell him how you felt and that you were ready for him, especially in the uniform. But how did one approach that as a topic? 

Dutch’s fingertips grazed your knuckles as he went to reach for  the bottle that was next you. Instantly you froze, muscles ceasing to respond to what you wanted to do.

No words were needed.

Arthur tapped you on the shoulder, you’d been too busy swaying gently to Javier’s guitar and enjoying the stillness of the evening to notice how much time had passed.

“Hey, Dutch wanted to know if he could speak with you.”

You nodded, trembling a little as you stood, Dutch had never asked to speak with you alone at night before.

When you entered the tent you were greeted by the sight of Dutch, sat on your cot, booted feet firmly on the ground. He was wearing the lawman’s uniform, hat and all. 

Shit. What is happening?

He looked at you coyly, eyes dark and mischievous, “I asked you a question the other day, but you declined to answer.”

You could see where this was heading and you felt your stomach drop out from under you.

“Dutch…” you stuttered.

He sat up a little taller, placed his hands on his lap and practically purred, “Well? Do you? See something you like I mean?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I…”

“How about you show me.”

“Dutch,” your voice was breathy, and quiet. 

“No need to be afraid, if this is what you want, then come, take it. Of course, my dear if I have misread the situation you are free to leave. I just thought, we have such a good time kissing do we not?”

“No,” you spoke a little too quickly, “I mean yes, yes we do and no, you haven’t misread the situation, I…” you held onto the tent pole, your legs were trembling like crazy. 

Dutch chuckled, “Just as I thought, come here,” he patted his lap.

You walked over to him, trying to be sultry but guessed you looked more like a lost baby bird than anything, all knobbly knees.

As you slid down onto his lap you inhaled sharply and closed your eyes for a moment, on opening them you became acutely aware of just how close your face was to his.

“Hello dear, you like a man in uniform huh?”

You let out a strangled mewl as his hand came up to cup the back of your head. His lips were so warm against your own and softer than you’d imagined they would be. 

The kiss was tender but it was also full of yearning, there was something in it that told you he needed this as much as you did. 

You begun to rock your hips in earnest while Dutch’s hands gripped your waist tightly. Although you were doing all the hard work, he helped to guide and rock you. 

His eyes keenly watching the expression on your face as you begun to work yourself up with the friction.

“Rock those hips a little faster baby,” he commanded.

You obliged, your eyebrows knitted as you keenly increased the pace. The fabric of your undergarments now rubbing so sweetly against your most sensitive spot, but it wasn’t enough. How you had longed for this, longed to be close to Dutch and have him inside you. Now it seemed so close you didn’t want to finish like this.

“Good girl,” Dutch praised before pressing a kiss to your lips. 

Your hands went for the back of his head so you could push him closer into you, for a moment Dutch kissed you roughly, his tongue slipping through your lips so your tongues were twisted. You stopped rocking your body for a moment to enjoy the feel of the kiss and the warmth of his mouth. 

But the moment you stopped, Dutch snapped away, “Did I say stop?”

You let out a whinge, it’s long and full of weeks of pent up frustration and so of course it makes Dutch smirk.

“You just gotta work a little harder for me and then I’ll let you have what you want.”

You nodded, bit your lip and begun to roll your hips again, as the friction built once more you became acutely aware of the bulge growing in Dutch’s pants. Every time you rocked forwards you felt it against you something sparked inside, small trembles. At this point you were certain that you were getting wet, you could practically feel your own slickness on the inside of your thighs as you rocked as Dutch commanded. 

When he was satisfied he held your hips even tighter so you were barely able to rock against him, you stopped moving and looked up at him. The dark expression he wore told you that you’d done a good job. 

Dutch, all authority and no hesitation told you exactly what to do, “Stand up.”

You followed his order and stood in front of him, arms awkwardly down at your sides as you wondered what he was going to ask you to do next. He took a step forward so your chests were flush, he tilted his head and went in for your neck. His breaths tickled but before you had a chance to giggle his lips were on your skin, teeth following a moment later, nipping and finding your pulse. You squeezed your thighs and took a sharp intake of breath. Dutch’s hands snaked round you, taking your ass cheeks in both hands and squeezing them as he continued to suck your pulse. 

When he pulled away he was a little red faced but the bulge that now appeared to be almost painfully pushed against his pants told you how much he was enjoying this. 

Dutch undressed you slowly, his fingers working slowly at lace and buttons. He undressed you in a fashion which made you nearly cry out with frustration. His fingertips grazed your skin every time a new part of flesh was exposed for him. When you were completely naked he looked you up and down and smirked. 

“Lay down.”

You obeyed, walking over to the cot, your legs trembling as you did so. The night air was cold but you were certain that soon Dutch would have warmed you up. He stood at the side of the bed and admired your naked form. 

“Oh this was worth waiting for.” 

Your arms were up on the pillow behind you, your body was stretched out so you could feel everything. The cold air had made your nipples rock hard and Dutch just licked his lips while looking down on you. 

Dutch decided to continue to wear the uniform, the whole thing, even the boots and the gloves. That was enough to make you melt. 

But the hat, the hat he gave to you, placing it on your head, “Now you have to make sure that hat doesn’t leave your pretty head, is that clear?”

You gulped and nodded, “Yes Sir.”

“If at any point you lose the hat, it’s game over, you don’t get to cum.”

You nodded, “I understand,” your body arched for him before he’d even touched you, desperate for his touch. 

He stroked your hair and placed a kiss to your forehead, “Good girl.”

His fingers brushed over your breasts, so lightly he could have been stroking you with a feather. When he reached your nipples he drew small circles round them and then after a few moments pinched one between his thumb and forefinger whilst bending down and taking the other between his lips.

“Ahhh,” you moaned as he starting to suck your nipple and then bit gently on it, his tongue continuing to swirl round the peak as he did so. Your hands gripped the bedsheets as he did this, if his tongue felt this good on your nipple, god knows how good it was going to feel when he got lower down. 

He broke away without warning and left a trail of wet and messy kisses down your stomach and onto your thighs. Dutch knelt on the cot between your legs and opened them, you felt yourself blush as he stared at you. 

“Already so wet, my filthy girl.”

He massaged your thighs with his gloved hands for a moment, his thumbs ever circling closer to your wetness. You tried hard to breath normally, but he was making it impossible, your heart was beating so furiously against your chest. 

Dutch bent down and breathed out between your legs, the hot air and sensation making you squirm. He inhaled your sent and then without warning he dove between your legs, making you cry out.

It was a little sloppy at first. But he was keen, and once he realised what you wanted it improved. As you looked at him keenly working your hands went to his shoulders and squeezed, and a moment later your hands were in his curly hair pulling gently. As he continued to lick and suck, your hips bucked.

“Need you….” you panted.

“Hmmm,” Dutch smirked as he looked up from between your legs, his lips glistened with your juices. He licked them hungrily and then went back to work.

“Dutch,” you moaned as you squirmed under him, on the one hand you didn’t want this to end, on the other hand you needed him inside you now or you felt you might cry. 

His tongue slipped between your walls and you cried out as his thumb rubbed your clit softly simultaneously. 

“Fuck, fuck…” all you could do was repeat obscenities as he continued to bring you closer to orgasm. 

His tongue moved in and out of you at a great pace, which his thumb now met. You lifted up your ass a little, allowing him to put his free hand under you and squeeze one of your cheeks roughly. How you had longed for the feeling of his fingernails digging into your flesh, he gripped tighter making you cry out, your hips once again bucking for more contact and friction. 

Dutch looked up again, “I want you to come for me, do you hear?”

You nodded, panting you found yourself unable to form a coherent sentence. Dutch went back to flicking your clit with his tongue as he plunged three fingers inside of you sheathing them completely. 

You threw your head back on the pillow, worried for a moment that the hat would fall off and he’d stop. 

Dutch continued to increase the pace and you knew your orgasm was close, your body was tensing up and your hands gripped tighter in his hair. You inhaled and held your breath, desperate to orgasm for him. 

It wasn’t just the orgasm that was building, the way he was pumping his fingers into you so roughly and fast you had a feeling you were about to make him very wet. But there was nothing you could do to stop it or warn him, you felt the wetness squirt from between your legs as you cried out his name several times as you came around his fingers. Your hips bucking furiously, hands white where you’d gripped the bed sheets so tightly. Dutch continued to pleasure you as your rode your orgasm, making you squirt a little more all over his fingers and face. When he finally finished you lay panting, only just releasing your grip on the sheets a little. You felt your own fluids drip down your thighs and onto the cot beneath. 

For a moment you were too embarrassed to look up and meet his eye line, but you knew you’d have to eventually. When you looked up Dutch was grinning from ear to ear, his face shining with your fluids. He licked his lips hungrily and then brought a gloved hand up to his mouth and sucked each of the fingers slowly. 

“My my, my dear I had no idea you could do that.”

You were still blushing as you responded, “I’ve only ever been able to do that to myself…”

Dutch looked incredibly proud of both himself and you, “You mean to tell me that masturbation is practically a past time for you, naughty girl.”

He spanked your cunt lightly, your teeth bit your lower lip as he did so. 

“You made such a mess of my clean uniform.”

“I’m sorry Dutch.”

“Nothing to be sorry for darling, you’ll just have to wash it again for me.”

Before you had a chance to answer Dutch went back between your legs, hungrily licking your thighs and your cunt making you squirm. It was clear he was trying to lap up every part of you, although you had worried it would be humiliating to squirt in front of him, you were relived that he enjoyed it as much as you.  

When he sat back up he climbed on top of you, one of his hands working at the fly of his pants. You saw his cock spring free a moment later and now found yourself the one licking their lips at the sight of it. He was rather large, perhaps a little larger than you’d expected and thick. His cock twitched quite frequently and you could make out a few thick veins on the underside, it was red and pre-cum was leaking from the tip making his head glisten. 

“Like what you see?”

You nodded, “Yes Dutch, I want you, I want you in that uniform inside me, fill me up please!” You begged.

Dutch chuckled and kissed your lips, “Seeing as you’ve been such a good, good girl.”

He slid inside you in one swift motion, he was so large that you cried his name out and gripped hold of his hips for leverage. Once fully sheathed he didn’t move for a moment, allowing you to get used to his size, he peppered your collarbone with kisses for those few precious seconds and then begun to thrust into you. 

He was slow but deep, allowing you to feel every throb of his cock and appreciate just how he felt inside of you. 

He continued with the same steady rhythm moving in and out of you. Every time he thrust in he would let out a little grunt that you could only describe as animalistic. You aimed to heighten his pleasure by raising your hips a little and rolling forwards every time he thrust into you. 

The first time you did this you clenched around him and Dutch let out a hiss of appreciation. 

The sex didn’t last long, within minutes Dutch begun to increase the pace along with his breaths and you knew he was close. You couldn’t take your eyes off him as he moved inside you, that blue uniform, those gloves, those gold buttons… Oh how you liked Dutch van der Linde in uniform.

“Y/N,” Dutch moaned as he came deep inside of you, his brows furrowed and eyes closed. He thrust a few times, quick but deep thrusts, slowly becoming more lazy as he rode his own orgasm.

His head was on your chest and he stayed inside you for a moment, when he finally looked up he brushed your cheek. “The sooner you clean it, the sooner we can do this again.” He smirked as he spoke but the smirk broke way to something else, something better. The smile he wore was one born of love and adoration. The way he rolled over to the side and pulled you into his arms and cradled you, told you all you needed to know. 

[ofcloudsandstars]

This week was a wild Samhaintide ride. I’ll post more about it in the read more

Here's yet another selection of stories from my witchy life I am ready to dump on you all so get ready lol:

Wednesday night was the party at the occult shop Treadwells where we met a new witch friend who joined us for the Samhain festivities. I have already made a post about it here but her name is Letitia and she is a beautiful sapphic Taurean witch who loves gardening and cooking (duh she's a Taurus) and all the goddesses she worships and bought an incredible pumpkin pie to the ritual.

Halloween

So the day begun with me making candles for the ritual. I bought a skull candle, a candle the shape of a jackolantern and then I made several candles which were three mini pumpkins hollowed and filled with black wax that’s pumpkin and bourbon scented, then four tea light spell candles with black wax and four tea light spell candles with a special wax my sag witchy friend bought for me from Edinburgh from a witchy shop. The wax melt was made with herbs and was called 'thinning the veil'. I’ll elaborate later. I also had to walk to the post office to pick up the ouija board. I had a feeling I'd finally get my hands on it on Halloween. Its a very aesthetic round one and I was excited to use it.

We chose to gather in Queenswood in the north of London. It was already SUPER SPOOKY cause there was a murder nearby so all of the buses were being redirected lol. We gathered all in black with our witch hats and delved deep in the woods. It was so beautiful and the ground was completely coated in gold and red leaves so you couldn't even see the path. We found a clearing in the thick of the woods with an old tree that grew sideways so it made a semi circle. We made a HUGE circle that we drew in the earth with a dead stick and went over with dragonsblood incense and black salt.

We opened the space by lighting the pumpkin candles and begun with centering our energy. There were several parts to the ritual we planned, but first we begun with a 'putting it to rest' spell since autumn is the time to let things go and samhain is about death so it was like officially bringing things to an end. We wrote down what we wanted to end in our lives on a piece of paper (such as not seeing coworkers from a toxic job that someone was leaving or the retrograde made my friend run into her abusive father that she had binded from seeing her for YEARS so she wanted to put that situation to rest) and ignited it in my cauldron. When it burned down to ashes we chose a spot (under a goblin-like tree) outside of the circle to open the earth and bury it in. After we put it in it's grave we all said a few words of departure and said: rest in peace. lol.

In my case I wrote down names of these models that are obsessed with this Italian guy (who is the son of a huge fashion designer) who is in love with my sister. They are obsessed with him for his connections to the fashion world and that he is rich and are jealous of any 'hoes' he's currently into so they posted instagram stories on Halloween with them in witch hats taunting that they were going to curse him and all of his lovers or whatever in cutesy filters and my sister knows I practice witchcraft so she told me. So I binded and banished them and the next day they unfollowed her lol.

Anyway, afterwards we focused on what we should reflect on by pulling tarot cards for mercury retrograde in scorpio that was beginning on that day as it's going to be like two weeks of descending into our own underworlds. After we got a card we lit the black tealight candle as a road opening spell to manifest a helpful path with overcoming our retrograde's lessons.

Then I lit the skull candle and we had a moment to reflect on our ancestors and those that we loved that have been lost that year. We each shared stories then lit the white tea light candles with the wax that was for thinning the veil. When we lit it we thought about our loved ones or ancestors.

Finally we did a dance for thinning the veil. I had flying devil oil that was some fragrance oil I got from a hoodoo shop and we dressed ourselves with it and ran around the circle and chanted in the leaves. We then ate the pumpkin pie the lovely Taurean witch bought also some maple sugar fudge she bought (what a champ), and halloween candy. We used the Ouija board but it was really challenging. We thought maybe it was cause we needed to be less grounded so we put it away and cleaned up the ritual space and headed off.

The Taurean witch was going to head home to cook a feast, my French aries witch friend went to her friends she's staying at to have a party and my Sag witch friend went home to cook a dumb supper for her and her mom. I went back to my place to nap then get ready for the night. I met my Sag friend at a music venue to watch Honeyblood which is SUCH a witchy band. The performance really reminded me of some scooby doo hex girls shit. It was a lot of fun (until some grown ass men with no sense of self awareness took the mosh pit to mean something more of a Jailbreak riot and started throwing their whole 6ft man bodies everywhere despite not everyone being gladiator sized. It was really ridiculous but golden when Honeyblood sang "Glimmer" with lyrics like "she can put a hex on you" thats when this one guy in some sailor outfit shoved his body into us and we BOTH looked at him with such evil at the same time and he like.. stopped.. and like hastily moved to another part of the room..)  If you don't know Honeyblood you should listen to them, they are such a babe witch band.

We then went to a bar nearby to get flaming shots of absinthe as its a personal tradition (also a way to 'cross the veil') and someone took candids of us at the bar! (I added the picture above), for some reason we really caught the attention of everyone though we just were in witch hats like EVERYONE was like: OOO WITCHES and like we even had some lady take pictures of us at the bar? Like ok it was cute I guess. My friend was drunk then so every time someone was like: oo a Witch! She'd holler back YASS BITCH 365 24/7!!!! Like o' dear.

Final part to the night was the house party my Aries witch friend (she's the one who's apartment I almost burned down once when I was making spell candles). It was a place around the corner from mine with a host who was HIGH OFF HER FACE on drugs. There was the counter of alcohol that kept us going all night, we had a lot of mingling with everyone there then when it started to get a little less wild we claimed an empty bedroom and tried the ouija board again since we were definitely less grounded than in the forest. Unfortunately the results were still a bit weak but we got a little bit of consistency with movement. There was some guy there that seemed interested but as time went on it turned out he was more interested in me than the board. I am a touched starved human being and he was playing with my hair and I was drunk so I did not care then after we ended up kissing while my other witchy friends and some new comers were chatting about the dead. My Aries witch friend lives on the other side of the city so she asked if they could stay at mine and I was like yea plus it was like 4AM at this point and this guy was getting very handsy like I just wanted my hair to be played with so I was like ok nice meeting you I gotta go. And He was like oh no please come say one last goodbye. I was too drunk to realize that he was in the bathroom and he closed to door to make out with me and I was like this is nice you do have nice flowy long hair that covers your big shiny forehead that I am now noticing in this bright fluorescent lighting but I gotta go. And he's like: No I wanna take you home I wanted to the moment I saw you. And he WHIPS OUT HIS DICK AND SAYS: this is for you. I am DYING like honestly I found it hilarious, I was so drunk I like forgot that there were other people on the other side of the door so I barge out of the bathroom like: WE ARE GOING HOME and my witchy friends saw his dick and were howling with laughter and that 10 minute walk home they would NOT LET ME BE IN PEACE about it.

Samhain Day

Anyway my friends stay over and in the morning I make tea and a light breakfast since we are hung over and we watch The Worst Witch 1980s Halloween special where we fucking Howl at laughter at everything especially Tim Curry flying around in that Cape. The rest of the day is really quiet since most of it is me sleeping trying to recover from the day before.

At 4 PM I call my relatives to say I love them and stuff cause I felt like my closest relatives on the other side of the veil wanted that. I made a feast for myself which consisted of Mashed sweet potato, a salad of chopped royal gala apples, carrots and beetroots and duck sauteed in maple syrup and bourbon. It may sound sweet but the bourbon balanced it out and duck tastes a bit sweet so it blended well with the maple flavor. After I had sticky toffee pudding for dessert. I made a plate for my ancestors and then got ready for fireworks with my other witchy friend who is the sound healer at Alexandra Palace.

I nearly missed the MASSIVE fire effigy burning cause the commute there was a NIGHTMARE since everything was still being redirected. (Thanks mercury retrograde). The fireworks were incredible though. There were so many it was like being bombarded with fiery psychedelics. My friend still wanted to show off her sexy angel outfit for Halloween so I asked if she wanted to hang out with us tomorrow night to party.

Saturday Night

She came over like at 4 and we got ready. She looked a bit like the angel from the remake of Romeo and Juliette with Leonardo decaprio but in lingerie with a long white lace robe. I dressed as a poltergeist though I don't think it came off that way but I had a sheer black dress on with a skeleton body suit, a glow in the dark wig and pale tulle. I just wanted to be a spooky ghost. We had to sneak into a members club that I work at cause I am NOT allowed to be there and I was terrified of them finding out so it felt like Danger Partying. They had a day of the dead party so I blended in but I felt like some staff that recognized me were like staring at me all night. We still had fun and spoke about our Samhain experiences. My friend is also a medium so she gave me some ouija tips so hopefully that can help me in the future.

Sunday Morning

I went to a workshop in the food forest about fire starting!! It was beautiful and magical and the forest was in full autumn mode. I learned how to chop wood with different axes and carve wood and start fires with either two pieces of wood (which is extremely hard on your own like you better be in the dryest place possible and you better have a bow), and how to start fire with flint/magnesium which is 1000% easier would highly recommend. There's so much magic in nature and so much magic in those workshops. We learned which trees were best for firewood and which were toxic and how to use bark or forage for fire starter materials. I am getting more drawn to fire as an element to work with in magic so I loved learning the techniques and also that you can start fires with the back of a knife (the teacher had a specific wood carving knife that was thick) so its like if you get a specific Athame which is ruled by fire you could also use it to start fires too if you got a fire steel key. (It's a rod of magnesium and you'd strike it with the back of the knife hard and fast and sparks will shoot out like fireworks).

Anyway that was my week so far!! It was so much fun and adventurous I couldn't have asked for a better experience. I have today off so I had a moment to reflect and get myself together for work tomorrow but afterwork I am celebrating Bonfire night with my sag witch friend at Victoria park so I am excited to take part in that!

I hope you all had a great Samhain!

[holylulusworld]

My highschool sweetheart

Request: If you are still taking requests. I was wondering about a Fic where Dean and the reader knew each other from a high school dean used to go to. but they lose touch and later on during season 13 they find each other and Dean discovers that she is a hunter. maybe more friends to lovers with more will they, wont they angst? some smut? and maybe a happy or sad ending? (the ending is up to you lol) I love your writing hun. keep up the good work.

Pairing: Dean x Reader, Sam, unnamed vamps

Warnings: language, angst, violence, blood, dead vamps, fluff, smut, unprotected sex, jealous reader

Staring at the clouds you try to focus on the task. The barn looks abandoned but Garth said two hunters wanted to take it out. Two days ago.

Every hunter would’ve burned the barn after cleaning a vamps nest. Seeing it untouched you know something’s off.

Why do you always have to safe other hunters? Why can’t they stay away from vamps if they don’t have the ability to take a nest out?

“Dammit, Garth. Two days. I guess your friends are food right now or worse…turned.” You mutter to yourself. You really don’t have the time to rescue inexperienced hunters.

A last glance to the street you open your trunk. Grabbing your gun with ceramic bullets filled with the blood of the death you look for your machetes. Thigh holster filled with your gun and a hidden Katana at your back you silently walk toward the barn.

A beautiful black muscle car is standing a bit hidden behind the abandoned building. You will steal it later. Dead vamps don’t need a fancy car. Right?

Machete in your hand you open the door to the barn. The first vamp is already greeting you. Gnashing his teeth he wants a taste of you. Beating your machete out of your hand the vamp tries to attack you.

“Sorry cowboy! I don’t ride dead guys,” you snicker dodging his attack.

“You smell sweet, much better than those other hunters. I will rather taste you before the boss and the others come back.”

“You made two mistakes or rather three. You told me the hunters are still alive, you told me you are alone and you talked too much instead of killing me,” you snarl using your hidden Katana to chop his head off.

----

Using your flashlight you search the barn. You can see a tall guy restrained to a bar.

“Hey, you okay? Did he bite you or gave you blood?” You ask the tall hunter.

“No, got hit by surprise. He didn’t bite me and I didn’t drink his blood.” Sam answers.

“Great. Let me cut the rope open.” You whisper freeing Sam’s hands and feet.

“Thanks. We messed up this time. I’m Sam.”

“Y/N. You’re a lucky man. Garth called me and I was close by.”

“We need to look for my brother.”

“Okay. The vamp said he’s alone but I guess the others will come back soon,” you say.

“Weapon?” Sam asks.

“My machete is still lying next to the dead vamp. You can grab it and I check on your brother.”

“Okay. Thanks again.”

“No big deal.”

Hearing someone shuffling in a dark corner you slowly move toward the noise. Using your flashlight you look into emerald eyes.

Whoa…he could compare with his eyes…

Shaking the memory and the hurting coming with it away you check on the man.

“Are you hurt? Bitten? Or drank blood?”

“Hurt, a bit but more my pride than my body. No bite wound or drinking of blood.” Dean answers ogling you.

“Good. We should hurry. The vamps will be back soon, I guess. We can steal their black fancy car.” You chuckle.

“Uh…that’s my car,” Dean says grinning.

“What a pity. I wanted to short-circuit the beauty. I like Impala’s I once knew a boy, his father had one too.”

“Love?”

“Rather friendship. Haven’t seen him for…whoa…don’t know twenty years or so.”

“Could you two cut the conversation and we get out of here?” Sam mutters while you cut Dean’s ropes open.

“Hey, she wanted to tell me about her high-school sweetheart!” Dean scolds.

“No, I only wanted to excuse why I wanted to steal your car. I’m Y/N by the way. Let’s get out of here and hide to kill those bastards.”

“Good idea, right Dean?” Sam mutters seeing Dean eying you up and down.

“Dean?” You ask and your heart beats faster…the car…the eyes…the brother…

“Huh, yeah. I’m Dean, Dean Winchester and that’s my brother Sammy.”

“We really should get out of here,” Sam insists and you nod.

It really is him…for fucks sake…

-----

“Good job,” Dean says grinning looking at you. Six dead vamps without heads are lying on the floor of the barn.

“Yeah. Great.” You say already turning to leave.

“Hey, uh…you’re really good. Why don’t we celebrate and you could tell me about your high-school sweetheart.” Dean calls after you.

“He wasn’t my sweetheart. He was the sweetheart of every other girl. We were only friends or at least I thought so. One day he was just gone…without saying goodbye.”

“That’s shitty.”

“Yes, Dean. It was shitty of you…by the way I’m Y/N/N…if you even remember my name, my friend.” You snap before sprinting toward your car.

Speeding off you leave a stunned Dean behind…he found you…the one that got away…

-----

Two weeks later you try to forget your encounter with Dean. Hell, it’s been decades since he left without a word. You were only friends…well, good friends but nothing more.

You were both young and needed someone to talk to. His father always looked at you with a grumpy expression. John…was it John? He seemed to hate the fact that Dean found a friend.

Maybe that’s the reason he didn’t say goodbye?

-----

It was a rough week; rough hunts…a rough life. You just want some drinks and forget hunting for a while but the guy next to you just don’t get it.

“I’m telling you one thing! I bet it hurt when you fell from heaven…cause you’re an angel!”

“No, I’m not. If I were an angel this body would only be a vessel, dumbass!” You grunt shoving the hand of the annoying hunter aside.

“Don’t be like that. All the other female hunters aren’t hot like you,” he tries again.

“Listen, Petro…was it Petro? I’m not interested in you, okay. I’m tired, hurt and I had some shitty weeks. On top of all, I met someone I never thought I would ever see again. So just sit there and drink your beer!” You warn.

“Are you too good for me or what?”

“Honestly? Yes. I don’t do smeary…smelly or annoying…okay.”

“I don’t stink.”

“Yes, you do!” A gruff voice rumbles and you roll your eyes. Another ‘hero’ comes to your rescue. Fuck it!

“I don’t need help, dude! Petro was about to leave. Right Petro?” You ask holding a knife against his balls.

“Uh…yeah. I have a place to be or so!” Petro mutters running away.

“You are dangerous, Crash!”

“Don’t call me like that, Dean.”

“Why not?”

“Cause only friends are allowed to call me like that.”

“I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye. I wanted to leave a number, but honestly, I didn’t have a home. The black car…that was my home.”

Giving him a side-glance you sigh. He seems to be honest.

“Have a seat, Winchester, before I change my mind.”

“How have you been the last twenty years?”

“You really want to know what happened the whole twenty years, Dean?”

“Why not?”

“Your butt will hurt when you have to sit so long on the bar stool.”

“How about going to my motel room then?”

“Does that line ever work, Winchester?”

“Come on. I only want to talk to you.”

“Fine. Lead the way.”

-----

“How did you become a hunter?” Dean asks.        

“After high school, I met a nice guy. We became a thing…even during the first years at college. One night we walked through a park. Brandon, that was his name. He was tall like Sam and strong but we got attacked by something much stronger…Brandon, he stopped the monster long enough to shove me into his car. The last thing I saw was when his blood splattered all over the car and then I saw the teeth and the eyes…”

“Vamp?”

“Yes. Before the vamp could open the door to the car an older guy with a trucker hat killed the vamp. He helped me, brought me away from the ‘crime scene’.”

“Trucker hat? Bobby? Bobby Singer?” Dean asks curiously.

„Yeah. After what happened I couldn’t ignore the evil out there. I asked Bobby to teach me how to fight and all. He gave me my first gun.”

“Since then you’re a hunter?”

“Brandon and I wanted to get married two months later. I couldn’t bear the pain living in our apartment, going to college and act like a monster didn’t just kill my fiancée, Dean.”

“That’s the reason you hunt vamps?”

“I hunt other monsters too but my specialty is vamps, apparently. That’s why Garth called me to save your sorry ass.”

At this Dean chuckles. “You didn’t just save my ass.”

“I know. Your brother really grew up…huh? He’s taller than you!”

“Don’t tell him. He’s still my baby brother!”

“Now you know what happened in my life…what happened in yours?”

“Well…”

----

“You went to hell and you became a demon? The darkness was your fault? And now you try to kill Lucifer? Holy shit! Comparing with your life mine was a life time story!”

“Family business. I’m really sorry I couldn’t say goodbye. I changed my schools faster than other people their underwear. This one was the best…I never had any friends after you.”

“Trying to flatter me, Dean?”

“It’s the truth, Y/N. I know we promised we would go to prom together.”

“Dean, we were friends. Honestly, I knew you would choose any other girl…I wasn’t your type.”

“That’s not true. You were always my type but much too smart for me.”

Leaning closer to you Dean looks into your eyes. Before he can brush his lips over yours Sam opens the door to disturb the intimate moment.

“I got a lead to another vamps nest,” Sam says.

“Well talking time is over, I guess.” You say turning to leave.

“Want to tag along for the case?” Dean asks.

“I don’t know. I’m used to hunting alone.”

“You hunted with Bobby.”

“He was my mentor, Dean.”

“We could catch up some more, Y/N. Please.”

“Fine, but only for that one case.”

“Awesome!”

“You are still saying that? Really?”

------

Four months later…

“This won’t work Dean.”

“Why not?”

“Cause pie with bacon doesn’t taste good!”

“You never tried it, Y/N.”

“Is he trying to make you eat bacon pie again?” Sam chuckles.

“Your brother is crazy. No normal person would it that kind of rubbish!”

“It’s not rubbish! Take that back!” Tickling you Dean grins like insane.

“Get a room you two!” Sam says laughing while you turn crimson.

“We are only friends, Sam!” You scold.

“Sure and I’m Audrey Hepburn,” Sam teases.

Looking at each other Dean and you fall silent. You are only friends…aren’t you?

-----

Another month later you try to ignore a chick hitting on Dean. She’s showing her boobs on full display, her dress is barely covering her ass.

Your eyes don’t want to obey your brain. Once in a while, they look at the scene. Dean seems to enjoy the attention of that slut…is she a slut? She shows a guy what she wants...

“Maybe you two should finally admit your feeling for each other,” Sam tries.

“Sam I think Dean feels something else right now, and not for me.” You mutter. We are friends, period. It’s better that way. He would only break my heart.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Since Brandon, I couldn’t have a relationship. I dated when I had the time but nothing serious. I never fell in love again after Brandon and Dean…”

“You loved Dean?”

“I was young…too young. I can’t tell you for sure but it felt like someone stole a piece of me when he left. The same happened when Brandon died to save me. I only was with two other guys…ya know.”

“Oh…”

“I’m not sure if I could handle to lose someone I love again. Even if I lose him to another girl. Look at him. He enjoys himself too much. Dean would never give up his lifestyle for me.”

“You might be wrong with that, Y/N. He didn’t talk to dad for days after he dragged him out of town. Dean pleaded John that he let him say ‘goodbye’ or at least that he can write you a letter.”

“I didn’t know that. Maybe I should talk to him?” You say but when you turn around Dean is gone. “Well, that is that.” You mutter grabbing your jacket.

“Where do you want to go?” Sam asks worriedly.

“Back to my room… and Sam?”

“Yeah.”

“Forget I said I want to talk to Dean.”

“Idjit!” Sam mutters.

-----

A glass of bourbon is pumping through your veins while you try to forget you wanted to admit your feelings to Dean. Stupid girl, believing he would only for once choose you…

Rain is pouring down and you open the door to smell the fresh air. You can see Dean’s car, his Baby standing in front of your room and a wet and freezing Dean sitting on the hood.

“Dean? Are you nuts? Why are you out there in the rain?”

“Uh…I wanted to talk to you but when I came back from the restrooms you were gone.”

“And why didn’t you knock?”

“I tried to find the right words.”

“Goddamn come in or you freeze to death!” You scold.

“Uh…yeah.”

Running into your room Dean shakes his head and the cold rain splash into your face. He’s freezing and is wet from head to toe.

“How old are you? Ten? If you want to talk to me, knock. Wait. Take off your clothes and I’ll give you a towel.”

“No, I’m fine.” Dean protests.

“What? Do you have a third nipple or what? I saw a man naked before okay. Leave your underwear on and we are fine. Now strip!”

Weighing his options Dean feels the wet clothes clued to his body. Starting to strip his jacket off he looks around your room. It smells like your perfume and your clothes are folded…not like Sam’s and his tossed somewhere in a bag.

“You are still in your clothes! Do I need to help you?”

“I…if you want to.” Dean rasps melting your resistance with his emerald eyes.

“Hmmm…I don’t strip a man’s clothes off before I had at least a first kiss, Winchester,” you chuckle but Dean doesn’t laugh. Instead, he cups your face to kiss you softly.

At first, you are shocked but then you melt into his arms. Sliding your tongue with his you feel his wet clothes and start freezing.

“I think I should strip my clothes off.” Dean whispers and you nod.

“I think so. Mine are wet too…what now?”

Tilting his head Dean plants a soft kiss to your ear shell. “I could warm you up.”

“For tonight?”

“No, for the rest of my life.” He whispers.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” you answer.

“I will keep it. At least one promise I will keep.” Dean says before kissing you again.

Arms wrapped around his neck you let him pick you up. Legs around his waist you don’t break the kiss.

The kiss you dreamed of for so many years...

“We should lose the wet clothes.” You whisper.

“Yeah…for more than one reason…”

Dean’s shirt is gone in a blink, just like your flannel. Left only in your underwear you move your hands over his chest. Planting a soft kiss to his anti-possession tattoo you fumble with his belt.

Dean’s fingers are more talented with unclasping your bra. Kicking his shoes off Dean shoves his pants down. Not wasting another moment he’s on you again. Chest pressing against yours he kisses you roughly.

His hands wander under your ass to pick you up again. Legs placed around his waist you let him carry you to the bed.

Laying you down he stays on top of you. His crotch is pressed against your core and you grind your hips to get more friction.

“Beautiful,” Dean whispers in your ear.

Lips wandering to your neck he sighs…he really sighs while his plump lips gently caress your pulse point.

“Dean, are you sure?”

“I wanted you. I always wanted you. Back then you were my first love, Y/N.”

“I…loved you too.”

Claiming your lips once again he moves one hand to your panties. Roaming your ass he chuckles when you squirm under his touch. One harsh tug and your panties are gone.

“Sorry but I need you naked, Crash.”

“Stop calling me like that.”

“Hmm…”

Shoving his boxers down you slowly pump his cock while Dean is sucking alternatively at your nipples.

“Dean, stop playing around. I want you, want to feel you.”

“I don’t want to hurt you. Let me prep you first.” He rasps carefully pushing two fingers into your welcoming heat.

Closing your eyes you let Dean rule your body. Fingers thrusting into you he places kisses all over your chest. Walls pulsing around his fingers you bite your lip to muffle the sound of your moans.

“Dean. You really are good at this.”

“I practiced only to make you feel good, one day. You…the one that got away.”

“I’m already naked underneath you, no need to use your charm,” you tease.

“It’s true…I was looking for you. Came back to town a few times but no one knew where you moved to.”

“You did?”

“I wanted to see you again,” Dean whispers.

Smiling you move your hand to his face to stroke his scruffy cheek. Tilting his head he catches your lips in a searing kiss.

Fingers replaced by his cock he gently enters you, inch per inch. A moan leaves both of your mouths when he bottoms out.

Dean moves slow and even, his eyes never leave your face. Lips touching yours softly he holds you close to his body. Chest pressed again yours he feels your heart beating fast.

Gentle strokes brush over your sweet spot until you moan his name in pleasure. Kissing you again Dean thrusts into you a few more times before he fills you with his cum.

“Wow!” You whisper when he flips over to let you rest onto his chest. Draped over his body you stroke his chest.

“Yeah…wow.”

“So…”

“I guess now I’m your high-school sweetheart,” Dean whispers.

“Yes, you are…you always were…”

Forever Tags

@donnaintx​​​, @screechingartisancashbailiff​​​, @fallen-wolf22​​​ , @curly-haired-disaster-deactivat​​​, @sister-winchesters99​​​, @mogaruke​​​, @the-is13​​​, @helloitsmeamie203​​​, @strayrosesbloom​​​ , @thewinchesterco, @hobby27​​, @kittycatlover18, @gh0stgurl​​​, @marvelfansworld​​​ , @sandlee44​​​, @hawaiianohana15​​​, @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt​​​, @katpatrova17​​​​, @notyourtypicalrose​​​ , @heyitscam99​​​, @onethingthatkeepsmealive, @natura1phenomenon​​​​, @flamencodiva​​​, @echoesofpassion​​​, @cocklesbelli​​​, @anushay1998​​​, @voltage-my2dlove​, @wayward-gabriel​

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags

@spnfamily-thewinchesters​​​​, @love-my-not-natural-babies​, @supernatural-bellawinchester​​​​, @butifulsoul125​​​​, @lyinginthegingerlocks​​​​, @mirandaaustin93​​​​, @hawaiianohana15​​​​, @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester​​, @20gayneen​​​, @x2closebut2farx​​​, @janicho88​​​, @thefaithfulwriter​​​, @dreaminemz​​, @negans-lucille-tblr​

[modharlow]

“Today seems like a good day to possibly kill myself, lads.” You huffed out while you tried to chop wood for the camp.

You were failing. Pretty badly, too! Who knew chopping wood was so hard? They always made it look so easy in videos…

With a short sigh, you wiped the sweat off your forehead as you took in a deep breath.

Okay! You got this!

Accompanied by an axe in hand, determination, and looking oh-so fine like a lumberjack those Tumblr gays always daydreamed about, you swung the hatchet over your shoulder and prepared to swing down like a monster destroying a small village and—

”Not if I kill you first.”

—You missed!… And you also lost your balance. Talk about a combo attack!

”Oh my god, I was on x-games mode, why did you interrupt me.” You quickly replied while lying on the ground, one arm propping you up with the other lied sexily on your hip. You were trying to look suave and like you didn’t just almost bash your head onto the ground.

Charles, the person who was ordered to watch over you (and was also your self-proclaimed ‘best friend forever’), simply chuckled in response at your usual antics as he went over to grab the fallen axe. He adjusted the weapon in his hands and spun it once before letting it fall onto his shoulder. “Your ‘x-games’ mode didn’t seem to be working out.” He finally lent his hand out to help you up. “You weren’t holding the axe right either way. You were bound to mess up.”

”Ouch! Just hit me while I’m down, huh? Huh? Huh, Mr. Smith?”

After you got up you tried to take the axe back but comically jutted your bottom lip out when he didn’t give it. “Arthur wants you.” Was all he said before he got to cutting the wood.

”Aw, but we were having a bonding mo—wait, he wants me?” You purred out with a poorly done waggle of your eyebrows.

”Not like that.” He countered but let out a small ‘as far as I know’ afterwards. “And, maybe, our next ‘bonding moment’ can be me teaching you,” He brought the weapon down onto the circular wood, turning it into smaller, less circular, pieces, “how to do this.” Geez, now he was the sexy lumberjack everyone wanted.

As Charles grabbed another piece, he gave you the ‘go-do-this-thing-because-I’m-the-experienced-one-here’ look. “Now, go see Arthur. Should be with John.”

”Kk, bye, love you lots!” You called out when you speedwalked away from the half-native male, missing how he nodded in your direction as his own way of saying “love you too”.

While you hummed to I Really Like You by our lord and savior Carley Rae Jepsen, you spotted Arthur and John conversing to themselves. As you got closer, you could hear bits of the topic at hand.

”’Nd I’m just sayin’, John. That’s how they were when I picked ‘em up. Suicide humor ‘n’ all—actually, why are you suddenly so concerned for their health anyways?”

John looked at the tall bear before groaning and turning away, before looking back again and trying to explain himself. “They’re close to Abi and Jack, Arthur. If they die do you know how heartbroken they’d be?”

Arthur gave him an incredulous look.

After a moment of staring, John threw his hands up in the air and said, “Okay, fine! They’re closer to Jack and I really, really don’t need that boy to develope their morbid humor! It’s not good for his age! ‘Least wait until he’s in his mid-twenties.”

Arthur let out a hum in understanding as he adjusted his hat to show off more of his face. “I take ‘em in to see a doctor, you’re goin’ with me.”

”What, why?”

”Because it’s your plan, John.” Arthur let out a small breath. “I know we all worried ‘bout ‘em but we all agreed that this was just their way of bein’, such as us bein’ outlaws.”

John let out a groan in frustration. “But we ain’t suicidal like them, Arthur!”

”’S far as you know.”

Being held in another staring contest, you began to wonder if your humor was really this concerning. Sure it wasn’t exactly… ideal but neither was being stuck in a world that you barely know anything about with no family, friends, or pets to help comfort you.

Everyone in the gang was born in this era, raised by it’s laws, while you were from a more advanced one. It was bound to get a bit lonely so you did what you thought was best to cope but… could you really be like the old you from your world? The one who hid behind self-deprecating humor and baggy sweaters?

…Yeah. For now, this is who you were going to be. Until… at least until you can feel confident enough to at least tell Charles or Hosea about everything.

Pastering on a smile, you interrupted to two in a sing-song voice. “Hell~o, my two loveliest boys!” You swung an arm around John’s shoulder as you shot Arthur a wink. “My super best friend said you wanted me, hm~?”

After a slightly-awkward short pause, the two outlaws glanced at each other before John begrudgingly nodded his head.

Coughing into his fist, Arthur spoke. “Me ‘nd John have been a little, err, worried ‘bout ya. Y’know, with all the harsh jokes ‘n’ such… Was wonderin’ if you wanted—“

”—Needed someone to talk to.” John cut his brother off, a look of uncertainty in his eyes.

”Uh, that too?” Arthur muttered as he looked quizzically between the two before him.

You had a look of indifference on your face before speaking in a monotone tone, “Girl, what’chu been smokin’?”

Shaking his head at your reply, John turned away from you both and up to the sky. “Of course we don’t get a serious response. Why would we?”

”Ignore him.” Arthur butted in when he place his hands on your shoulders. “Listen to me, okay? I don’t know why or when you started usin’ such things to cope, ‘nd frankly I won’t pry, but if you truly ever need t’talk then you know you can speak to us.” He glanced at John who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there. “…Well, most of us. Actually, just talk to me, Charles, Hosea, or Tilly. Everyone else is a maybe.” He paused. “Okay, not everyone else. Don’t speak to Micah. Never speak to Micah.”

You couldn’t help but let out a small giggle near the end and nodded your head. “Okay I won’t speak to Micah. Not like I wanted to either way. His ass stank something serious.”

”I’m gonna pretend I know what that means.”

”Good! That’s a proper response to most of the shit I say.” You shrugged your shoulders before letting out an ‘ah!’. “Was, uh, was that all you two wanted or…?”

John, who was forced to come back from his ‘why-do-we-even-try’ attitude, unsurely spoke. “You… you wanna go huntin’, or somethin’?”

In a swift moment, you suddenly had John’s hands in your own with a grin on your lips. “Really? You’ll let lil ol’ me handle a bow?!”

Arthur quickly interjected, placing an arm between you and John. “No, no! We can’t trust you after last time! You can help us scout but we ain’t lettin’ you outta our sights with a weapon.”

After you fake-sadly agreed Arthur sent John off to tell Dutch about the change of plans. He was about go get ready to leave until he felt your hands gently clamp around his forearm.

Looking back at you, he rose a brow as he waited for you to speak. “Thanks for your guys’ concern. Sorry for worrying y’all.” You muttered, eyes looking towards his coat’s neckline rather than his own.

”’S fine. Just… remember that we all want you here, m’ok? Even if we don’t understand half the words that leave your mouth.”

”Yeah.” You muttered softly as you broke him away from your grasp.

You two stared at each other for a moment before you awkwardly coughed into the air and began walking towards his horse. “Anyways, let’s go hunting for some bears.”

”No.”

”Aw, it was worth a shot!”

///. ///. ///. ///. ///. ///

This was inspired by @heart-of-gold-outlaw ‘s Modern!Reader prompts, lol. Hope it was okay to write this! :^}

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

One Punch Man 13 (S2 Ep 1) | Afterlost 1 | RobiHachi 1 | Kimetsu no Yaiba 2 - 3 | BSD 25 - 26 (S3 Eps 1 - 2) | King of Prism - Shiny 7 Stars 1 | Shield Hero 14 - 16 | Double Decker! EX 3 | Sarazanmai 2

The shows that have made it this season will be getting their tags...soon. Because I fell behind early in the season, trying to read ahead is nastier than it really should be...

Update: I forgot to roll out the tags...! Sorry about that.

One Punch Man 2 1

This season’s name…sounds counterintuitive, to say the least.

I love how Genos is carrying a box of hijiki (which looks like hair) and Saitama’s wearing a shirt that says “hair” (in kanji) all over it. It’s funny for a bald man and his “work of modern art”.

I never knew Genos was so blunt. Maybe because the last season was a good 2 – 3 years ago…and was by Madhouse and Shingo Natsume, and so this feels slightly different.

Oh, Sonic…! I didn’t realise how much I missed you! (Not to mention, you look hot with the off-the-shoulder shirt, y’know?)

“Enoki” is a type of mushroom.

Oh, Garou!...Oh wait, there isn’t much more of the episode left, is there…?

Afterlost 1

Oh great…this is the second time the subs don’t work on my device of choice. Then again, it seems to be a problem with the ad blocker and not the video…Okay, fiddling with the ad blocker worked.

Let’s play Spot the Main Character Amongst All the CGI Guys! Yay! (obviously sarcastic)

Without the volume…this OP is, to not put it lightly, s***.

Shoumetsu means “extinction”, not “lost”.

And the reward for Jankiest CGI this season belongs to…

Okay…this is stupid…if it f**ks up even more, I’m out of here!

I know the horned owl is your mascot, but that doesn’t mean you needed a real owl.

Waittttttttt…how did the scientists know Yuki’s father was responsible for this stuff anyway?

I feel like Takuya was shoehorned in. I mean, there’s a better example of this character type in Naofumi (Shield Hero).

This guy’s name, as we know it, is Geek. Wow (sarcastic). Also, I find it funny Takuya has a “ta” on his licence plate.

“…she’s just a package.” - Welp, you don’t get any more blatant than that for female denigration! I think Anime Feminist had a field day with this one.

Come to think of it, I saw some helmets back at Geek’s place but Takuya never seems to use one…

You had one job, Takuya…*sigh*

I swear I said a few previews ago I don’t like 1st person cam…no one ever listens to me, do they???

Not dis shitto agen!

Okay, enough complaining. It seems Yu-no wasn’t bad enough, so they had to produce something like the Chaos Dragon and Seisen Cerberus of old…

RobiHachi 1

It’s Takamatsu being Takamatsu again. Also… I forgot to mention this earlier, but…Taiga Umatani seems to be related to Kurari Umatani (who is credited for Boueibu), so…I wonder if it’s a collective writer’s name for Studio Comet, like Izumi Todo for Toei? The only thing that goes against that is the fact “Kurari” existed during the Diomedea days of Boueibu. Also Isekandar seems to be related to Yamato’s Iscandar (which Takamatsu seems to like, based on the fact he once used Matsumoto metres as a shorthand for being in space). If you don’t understand, Yamato’s endgoal contains a place called Iscandar and that’s by Leiji Matsumoto.

Okayyyyy…what are these rabbit creatures…? But yes, it does smack of Boueibu simply because the episode layout’s the same.

Hmm…? So Robby seems be En (the do-nothing life) in spirit, but Kinshiro in background, but also he runs away from his fortune. “Hmm” indeed.

Oh! That’s what this string of misfortunes reminds me of! The monsters of the day from Boueibu.

Acrymalide.

Hatchi is a Kinshiro in looks but an Atsushi by being a goody-goody.

Hmm…they actually bother to show girls now…apparently Takamatsu went to a boys-only school, which is why his original works focus on dudes (as in, you can pick out when Takamatsu is adapting someone else’s work because it has a heavier focus on girls as supporting characters).

Mechs and spaceships are probably two of the only ways I accept CGI…and you, Takamatsu sir, have just done it (the latter)!

Aw! Lookit his (Hatchi’s) face light up like a Beppu’s! It’s cute!

Hatchi getting out the hatch…lame, but still somewhat effectve on me (because that’s my wordplay game you’re playing, Takamatsu…!).

LOL, it’s a transforming mech. It seems my words from a few comments earlier were basically foretelling the future.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 2

Yikes, “Sakonji Urokodaki” has a lot of strokes…

My Little Sister Lives For Headpats…hey wait, don’t all anime kid sisters do that(?)

For some reason, I know the “Don’t Lose Your Way” meme from Kill la Kill and yet I’ve never…watched KlK…?(!)

I swore that was Giyu (it’s the haircut, I swear), but it’s a random demon…

When all you have is a hatchet…use your head. (LOL)

Ooh, nice eyecatch!

This is really black comedy, in a sense. (I remember this demon fight from the manga which is why I say that.)

Hmm…this wispy stuff wasn’t in the manga.

Come to think of it, I don’t know how Tanjiro got his scar…

If you squint really hard, you can see CGI Urokodaki and Tanjiro…

He probably has no footsteps because of his shoes. Or the fact he’s a ninja. Were there ninja in the Taisho era…? Update: Tanjiro has the same kind of shoes…oops.

Come to think of it, Daisuke from DN Angel had to dodge traps every day before he became Dark…(thinking of this because I reread the first volume of DN Angel recently)

Oh! Manga panel preview! That’s quite fun, really.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 3

I just really like how Tanjiro’s eyes grew larger with what was clearly resolution before he closed the door.

Why do the non-descript hunters look like Giyu too…?

I’ve never seen KnY so comedic…and that’s coming from someone who thought the Head Demon fight from last episode was funny.

Welp, this is…kinda interesting (<- says a fan of Touken Ranbu).

This letter writing…it reminds me of Kekkai Sensen somewhat.

This realistic water…it’s beautiful, but it looks like it came straight out of Niagara Falls. Is that…too realistic for anime?

“No matter…”

It’s a fox version of Speed of Sound Sonic! Then again, the real Sonic is around this season and probably won’t be happy about that comparison…

Is “that guy”…Giyu? Or the demon who slaughtered Tanjiro’s family?

Spider lilies! I didn’t mention it last time, but the symbolism of the spider lily makes the ED real cool.

Bungou Stray Dogs 26

I’v read the wiki page for Chuuya enough to know the next few eps involve the LN Fifteen, so even though I haven’t read a translation of the source material, I know some of the ins and outs of it already.

Ooh! Kitty! (If you’re a manga reader, you’ll know the cat’s significance.)

I think at this point in time, all viewers are used to Dazai’s bulls*** by now.

Is it just me…or did Bones use CGI for the city? It actually looks kind of good…! Sasuga Bones!

I have a fic that predates Fifteen and could be set in the same period (the fic’s vague enough that it could’ve been them at 15, 18 or even 12)…and basically the only thing I got wrong was the fact Chuuya doesn’t have his hat (because I wrote Chuuya as having his hat in the fic). Also, the banter is tenser than I imagined it, but that’s subjective and something only I, the fic writer, can compare.

I wonder who the yellow-tinted Ability holder is…? Update: That’s Randou. Spoke too soon.

There was a box in the subs…I wonder what symbol that might’ve been.

“…closest to the explosion.”

BSD 3 2

Oh, so that’s what Randou was for! I see now.

Chuuya may be OP, but he’s one heck of a fun character…also, he’s not as OP as Saitama, so…yeah.

Oh, the ED from last time is the OP. I should’ve known.

I like the almost storybook-style of this episode!

I thought Dazai was faking releasing the hostages…I was wrong.

Face-stealing aliens return! (They were around last ep too, I think, but they were harder to see then.)

Again, watch for the cat!

Well, with only one suspect (or 3, if you count the Sheep kids), it was quite easy to figure out one of them was behind it. I kind of suspected Randou, anyway, considering what I’ve learnt from all the mysteries I’ve read.

Because I was watching this episode with the volume down low (so I could hear the OP and ED), the volume really did work wonders for the plot this ep…!

King of Prism – Shiny 7 Stars 1

This is the final debut of the season, so basically how this and Shield Hero perform will decide what will stay and what will go. Oh, yeah…apparently this is the companion to a movie, but the movie and TV series have slightly different content.

This dude’s (the one at the very start’s) so grumpy.

…welp, I didn’t expect it to be that much CGI.

This chunk of exposition…makes me feel like I missed something. It was probably in the previous movies, come to think of it…

Basically, this is…uh, Makura no Danshi or Room Mate all over again??? I’m noping out of here…! Bye!

Shield Hero 14

I’m putting this on the chopping block…just so you know.

…uh, age gap romance? It’s hard to tell at this stage, but they (Filo and Melty) sure act like it is romance.

Welp, this survived the chopping block. “Raphtalia backstory” is a good enough reason to stick around for, isn’t it?

Double Decker! EX 3 (FINAL)

I always miss the OP when I’m not watching Double Decker, but I miss the ED even more…

I can’t believe they tried to get away with a Spirited Away parody…!

I can’t believe I get to see Dr Apple all buttered up like this…

I love how Kirill is censoring himself. (At least he can prove he’s not a girl, unlike Valery/Milla, whose entire shtick is the confusion between genders.)

Oh! I think I know the answer to the case already! It was Kirill’s soap, so Doug is the “killer”. But then…why is it Derick, of all people???

LOL, the angles were so reminiscent of Detective Conan…

Underwear-stealing sextuplets…? Why does that kind of sound like Osomatsu-san…?

Ahh…I really am going to miss this ED. See you next time!

Shield Hero 15

I never thought Raphtalia would be so angry…that’s Naofumi’s job.

Okay…it’s the age-old question: do demis listen with their animal ears or their human ears? Do they even have human ears??? (That’s 2 questions, isn’t it…?)

Uh…CGI dinosaur, much?

Shield Hero 16

…and of course, the Queen is a loli. Of course (<-sarcastic).

“Why’d I even have to feed this KFC farm?” – LOL, but I wonder what it sounded like in Japanese…? (i.e. I didn’t listen to it and when I try to do that, there’s always something over the top of it…)

Sarazanmai 2

I wonder if I’ll ever get used to watching Ikuhara on a weekly basis…?

Kappamaki…geddit?

Wait…y’mean, Keppi’s breath smells like cucumbers? Uh…okay, TMI.

Enta’s Japanese house kind of looks like the one in Mawaru Penguindrum.

Wait…why does the Japanese word for “Fish Buffet” (Osakanazanmai) end in –zanmai? Does that mean Sarazanmai is…Dish Buffet?! (LOL)

Notably, one of the signs said “Union” in katakana. It must be an English play on words…y’know, trade union and union = connecting with each other? I’m surprisingly enjoying myself a lot with Sarazanmai, by the way. I didn’t think I would, but I am!

I think that might be Irohassu water. Or Dasani. I saw both those brands in Japan, but I don’t remember which had the green flowers.

Oh…my goodness! Nekoyama (Cat Mountain) Mokichi (written with kanji for “hair” and “luck”). It’s a Boueibu monster! Frick, I’m laughing too hard!

It’s very small and very thin, but the word next to the cat in the eyecatch is neko.

“…Meow God!” – It’s a pun on “Oh, My God!” but with a “meow” in it. It’s pretty forced, but it does get the nuance of the joke across…

Why the heck did the subbers choose “herb” as the word for weed in this? “Weed” is sufficient, right? Right…?

Well…if that spurt of water wasn’t symbolic…I don’t know what is.

The title translates better as “…but I want to steal”. Y’know, add a little force into it.

The two As and the “sara” below it seem to make a zombie face, huh?

Ooh, that ending…

[vowenowe-stream]

05/02/17

A horrifying level of depravity not seen since the stone ages where the king and the seed and the not seed and what is out of plumbing and system and goes and crate cries seem seam is it sees what sees isn’t sees it’s is i’t is sees to what came out of the river and the bridge and at the sky and the van and the rocky ground and the leafy green grove and what was out of the sky and at the cliff and at the place where the collision of the planet of Jupiter and Mars came about from a gravitational keyhole and assumed what was happening to the planets was a good and healthy and wholesome thing when in reality the horrible corrupted form of was thing to be at the thing and implement and prevent gibberish and make sense and sit on a bench outside the store with a floppy hat and sit during the inclement overcast weather and comfort during the tornado and go to the highway and see a lizard and go to the skype and wonder if there is someone outside the window and fall apart then glue an egg into an egg and kill an egg and eat an egg and verb an egg and see an egg and funny egg was was was was was repetition and was and was and was and was and was and what it’s easier to think and an automatic recourse into a loop to decrease the stress and it’s too idiomatic to describe the process because what you really want is abstract form writing and something to read that you don’t remember creating and no judgment but still impeded by judgment you think something in the text is going to click with them as something that is forbidden to speak of by social rules created by their own collective insecurities which they have successfully made you a slave to but not anymore and now I am going to go across the field to the dorms and open the Slavic closet the dusty the good smell the educational chalkboard ancient diomacemus incorrect dinosaur the place where there is nothing to be afraid of the progress the thing I’ve never been interested in it’s an achievement unlocked in real life but you’re a farmer who doesn’t need these things you till the Earth and you listen to heavy metal and you live in a van and live in a winnebago and have a dry cracked landscape life of Korn and subsisting off of whatever you can find and it’s all you can strive for in a formal context the pursuing of the master’s degree and getting what you want forever and if your no and what you want forever to find the earthiest soil the timmiest the jomeiest wassn the fffffffffffffffffffffffff the fuff the feff the saif the wadn’t coil corroyle the silliminin the tm tmmn simon sisen terrimynian kiimian the kel sell sell kell kell sell sell kell kell sell and what it did does do is what it did does do come on now try to make sense try to open up and dig instead of idle game it’s not like a real introspective thing so don’t try to paint it as no it’s okay to have anything anything at all so look at the bouncing gif and don’t be distracted and try to eliminate the filter but it’s too late didn’t you already almost say something dangerous try to close your eyes now your eyes are closed I know you can type with your eyes closed let’s hope your fingers don’t go out of alignment and turn this into gibberish because you certainly won’t remember it maybe you could go through and type each key to the left or right to try to decypher it open them now and you typed it all right but you’re scared of corrupting all the text so you can’t close your eyes again and escape the subconscious influence of the TV but at least it’s like you’re rambling into a microphone and allowed to do it with people in the house because you’ve almost disintegrated that filter of having to apply dexterity to get it from your brain and out of your fingers because it’s easier with the mouth and with the fingers there can be typos but you’re focusing on removing that barrier but again you’re talking about the process instead of trying to paint some kind of picture because you are afraid of what the picture could incorporate because you have secrets you have at least one secret or two secrets or three secrets maybe they don’t all come to mind right now but there is at least a couple and you’re not going to risk portraying them even though you portrayed one today but that wasn’t stream of consciousness it was carefully done so it was okay but you don’t ever want to get drunk because you’re you don’t ever want to get too drunk because you’re afraid of what you’ll say what if something brings to mind and you don’t have a say in letting it come out anymore maybe it’s not even a big deal but it’s so disgusting it’s so disgusting it’s so disgusting it’s so disgusting this is all you can say you had to loop because you wanted to say something i guess but it had to be only one thing as vague as it because of it and what are you talking about time to move on hey the dark van the scary demon the running jogger with the light what a liminal space that pitch black tree silhouette you couldn’t capture on the camera until you all drove away to your apartment and you got a terrible rest and it was the final day and you incurred a 207 dollar debt and you went to the dentist and bought burgers and energy drinks and at some point you were at that one park in a paradise it was an Elysium situation you couldn’t have noticed in the moment but it was and you can be given that again i don’t know how much you’re supposed to be given how much can you be given how much can you be given could you be given more than is right for you is there anything wrong with receiving gifts conservatism liberalism i want gifts i want to receive gifts but how are gifts any different from sex how is food any different from sex i don’t want to this to want to and do to want this do to what want that thut whut what wat tut taaahhh thhhaaaaah thah thuh the park the little dog the leaf the spiky ball seed pod tree chop a water bottle in half the highly pressurized faucet spigot tap the slide i tried to climb up embarrassing and i had a dream last night where i tried to climb up a slide and i just keep typing i could do it all night and leave someone with a giant journal to have to read but at the park i hang onto the beam over the swings and it makes me feel male and spag puts on the hat and i throw the bottles and some strangers yell i think they thought i was littering i thought we were gonna go in the museum i kind of wanted to i would’ve paid for admission but it was amazing there anyway we got the water and the food no not food just water and the food maybe and putting flowers on little dog i think there’s stuff i still haven’t remembered all that matters is having it all to digest and every single thing we did is cherished to me every thing we can possibly do establishes itself as a memory to love i love the convenience store now and the specific roads we drove down those are the memories you can do anything aid it will be good it will be what happened and i’ve created memories before like the scarf walk but i feel like i am forgetting how to or something i keep lacking motivation even though i know how good it is and how i don’t even know what i’m missing out on just by going to under the overpass and sitting there with Swans and losing a scarf and listening to Hunky Dory and recording rain and going somewhere and sitting but where do i sit and for how long there’s too many places the duck pond during the first visit i think the duck pond was silently established as a crush confession location but nobody could and then it became the park and nothing but importants still happened and the rain tunnel and some day i think im gonna visit the original rain tunnel thatll be cool i’ll actually go across the country with them i’ll break all the boundaries and i’ll be with them and that;s cool they’re gonna take me further than i’ve ever gone before physically across the country if we ever go to new york i am sitting on a couch my dad got up and touched something the table or something and it made me aware of the noise typing makes and shocked me back into shoutign while pouring a gatorade bottle as if it’s peeing and a man giving a concerned look the kid dude named shaun or shawn saying corn and uhhhh pendulum hold your colour the guy whose name i forgot

Going to corn soybean update just type TV kansas soybean commission the soybean checkoff fadeout lady microphone no I don’t want to live tv transcribe stressful I don’t feel like it anymore a pressure in my chest or heat and bouncing leg still typing okay could stop at any time but I don’t want it to be an amusingly short paragraph just by thinking I will make it longer and make it more in line with the established format uhh but they don’t even find the line break significant okay the TV and the antenna on top don’t just describe surroundings I wanted to type like abstract narrative or something okay a king and a queen and a robot and a chair and a computer and a potted plant and a cup and a gnome ok the gnome is actually in the room but it fits with the fantasy setting but hey wahts that robot doing there i thought it was an ancient kingdom lol what the heck ok calm down it’s just three stream of consciousness concepts well it’s not like the sarcasm was that serious either well ok i like the lake outside still on describing surroundings it was just the other side of peripheral vision i can’t do this i cannot come up with something like the start thing if it wasn’t bad i don’t know guh doo duh guh doo duh goo guh doo duh I don’t want to type anymore and it will keep deteriorating if I keep typing one time in carthage i was on the swingset and spent like an hour talking to myself saying the “longest sentence in the world” it was this endless self-referential run-on sentence I kept saying and saying to nobody for an hour just on a swingset I wonder if anyone heard me and what they thought uhhhhh Pepsi tupperware gushers phone book I am tired maybe I should sleep it’s 5:12 AM I don’t want to be nocturnal fuck I hope I don’t go more out of sync or maybe I will be less out of sync uhhhhh I am excited for the May meet I think it will keep getting better I think we will have an even longer meet cause it wont start in a more expensive hotel maybe it’s not anything anymore it’s just a blog post oh what are you saying it was something before did you just say something presumptuous did you just grant yourself literally anything you don’t get any notes now which isn’t a bellwether of you doing anything right or wrong except it is because

[hamonsurveysoverdrive]

Worthy

1 - When you wake up, do you get up straight away or do you lie around in bed for a while? Depends on if I have something to do or not. 2 - Who was the last person you video-called with? Have you done this more often since COVID hit? I think it was Kelsi? Yes. 3 - How many times a week do you go out for food or drink? Like, once or twice. 4 - Do you prefer getting takeaway or actually sitting in a restaurant and eating your meal there? Takeaway. 5 - Where’s your favourite place to get takeaway coffee (or whatever your drink of choice is)? If I get coffee out and about, it's usually Starbucks. Otherwise, I make it at home. 6 - Do you tend to keep your phone on silent, vibrate or loud? Vibrate. 7 - If you have pets, when was the last time one of them annoyed you? What happened? Idk. 8 - When was the last time you went into a bookshop? Maybe a month ago. 9 - What was the last thing you ordered off Amazon? A baseball hat for my dad. 10 - When was the last time you took a dog out for a walk? Is this your own dog or did you borrow someone else’s? This morning, it's my dog. 11 - What jewelry do you have on at the moment? Just my nose ring and a small silver necklace. 12 - Do you have any products in your hair right now? What are they? No. 13 - Have you ever used a VPN to access foreign content online? Nope. 14 - Who was the last artist you listened to? Is this someone you’re a fan of? I have no idea. 15 - What was the last thing you had to drink? Monster. 16 - When was the last time you cooked something for the first time? Did it work out the way it was supposed to? I made some mustard maple pork chops the other day. The flavor was good, but the meat wasn't cooked how it was originally supposed to be because Drew grabbed the wrong sized pork chops, so I wasn't able to sear them in a pan first. 17 - Black cats are considered to be bad luck - is this a superstition that you’ve ever believed in? No. 18 - Would you ever eat blue cheese or do you find the idea of eating mould to be pretty repulsive? I've tried it, I'm not really a fan. 19 - Do you visit the dentist every six months like you should? No. 20 - How old were you when you first used the internet? Was it dial-up or did you have access to proper broadband? Like, 9 years old and it was definitely dial up. 21 - Are you old enough to remember using floppy discs? Yes. 22 - When was the last time you purchased an actual DVD or CD? I bought some DVDs for the kids for Christmas. 23 - Do you shave? Which body parts and how often? I shave my legs, private area, and armpits. Depends on my mood. 24 - What’s your favourite season, and what are some of your favourite things about that season? Summer. There's more stuff to do, longer days, pools are open, and 4th of July is my favorite holiday. 25 - When was the last time you burned yourself? Dunno. 26 - Have you ever been the victim of a theft or robbery? What was stolen? Did the police ever catch the person who did it? Someone stole my kids' Xbox out of the back of my car once, and I never contacted the police. 27 - What was the last TV show you discovered that you really liked? What was it that got you to watch it in the first place? Schitt's Creek. Everyone talking about how amazing it is. 28 - Have you seen any of the live-action Disney remakes? Which one is your favourite? What about your least favourite? Yes. My favorite is The Jungle Book, my least favorite is probably Cinderella. There's just 10 million Cinderella movies, and it didn't stand up to any of the other live action Cinderellas honestly. Including the Hilary Duff one lol 29 - Do you have any exciting plans for tomorrow? If not, how are you planning to spend your day? No, but my kids are finally going back to school lol. 30 - Would you ever keep a working dog as a pet? Do you think it’s fair to keep dogs like huskies in flats when it’s so different to their natural environments? What is a working dog??

[thefuckgallagher]

i’m just gonna rave about beauty and the beast right now because I just saw it:

(spoilers under the cut)

plot/character-

the changes to the plot/characters gave the film so many more layers

big one: WHY EVERYONE FORGETS THAT THE PRINCE EXISTS! it was always so confusing that no one seemed to notice that their monarch/prince wasn’t around anymore? so fixing that was amazing. it made the story so much more poignant that the enchantress made everyone forget about him. it felt so much more isolating and made it so much harder for him to break the curse.

also i really liked how they separated families, like mrs. potts and her husband. like, the other world did exist. and it connected to the beginning when belle asks “monsieur john” (AKA MR. POTTS) if he has lost something *again* and he says “i believe i have but i can’t remember what” - HIS FAMILY. HE LOST HIS FAMILY. 

also in general the town was so well created! it made so much sense historically too, like them hating belle for her intelligence and her trying to teach girls to read. historically, that’s a scary amount of power for a woman, especially peasants/non-royalty

this also gave a more clear explanation to why belle was so ostracized from the town. educated women would have been scary in that era, especially because of the widespread illiteracy (see: lefou). then, it also made her connect more to adam because of their shared interest in reading as an escape from a world that rejected them

also the layers given to the town people. not everyone is bad. there were some people who were portrayed as just “evil” like gaston, but then some who originally try for justice and fairness but fail, like mr. potts, then some who stayed good like the priest

gaston- gaston was so much less cartoonish than the animated version but he’s so believable. first they made him an army captain from a war that was presumably won by the way he talks about it. that automatically gives him power in the town. then you understand why people look to him so much. he also is more cunning in the way he uses maurice to get to belle, making him scary. then, the way he manipulates the town both to send maurice away and to follow him to kill the beast. so relevant when powerful white men manipulate things to get people to listen to what they want. and he knows how powerful he is.

congruently, i love that they didn’t make maurice a crazy old man. instead, he was a sad widower and an artist. it made it more poignant that originally, people didn’t think that he was crazy but gaston convinced them

i also really liked that belle just asked for a rose when her father left and he tried to steal one for her. great hat-tip to the original fairytale!

overall, as i briefly touched on before, i felt like the relationship between belle and the beast was so much more believable for so so many reasons (included the aforementioned reading/escapism)

i love the story line about the mothers. with belle, it was more of a fill in to explain why she didn’t have a mother- with a great historical reference of the plague. and, why someone like the maurice they created and belle were stuck in that town. then it also helped her connect to the beast who also lost his mother. 

the death of prince adam’s mother was totally different. he didn’t have a loving father like belle. instead, he was raised by a cruel man, probably without love. so when he got older, he filled his palace with beautiful things to replace love. he sings in “evermore”: “i never needed anybody in my life, i learned the truth too late,” demonstrating how even though the palace was filled with people, they were more like things to him as he couldn’t feel love. but he wasn’t always like that, being raised by his father made him that way, giving a strong avenue for redemption. i love how the costumes back that up because in the beginning everything is gaudy and over the top with the french wigs and makeup, but then at the end everything looks more simple and light because the real beauty came from within (sappy, yes, i know). 

“I’M NOT A BEAST”- loved that he put gaston down and just told him to leave. then gaston proves that he’s the beast because he fucking shoots adam 3 times... then the crumbling castle kills him

and i love that belle stayed because of the kindness of the servants and their guilt at failing the prince and allowing him to become a beast. [kindness, if you didn’t notice is super big with disney films]

overall the characters all had so many more layers than their animated counterparts and they were so easy to really feel for (esp. the beast)

on feminism: was this new belle a feminist icon? not so much? i mean she was different than the original, in good, progressive ways but the constraints of the story and the time period kind of hinder a full progression to what we’d call a liberated women in the 21st century. she still takes care of her father (which despite what others say, there’s no problem with...), really just goes from her father’s house to her husband’s, and needs maurice to protect her from gaston. shown by how he gets in the way... but she is a more 3 dimensional character in this version but i appreciate disney’s attempt! and emma watson as a person.

gay-

i don’t really like that they used the queer story line for comedy

but i did some things about it:

gaston using lefou’s attraction to benefit himself

the end where lefou gets out from under the spell and is actually a good person. lefou actually has a conscience in this one and slowly begins to realize it (i.e. not wanting to leave maurice for dead and his line in “the mob song”: “there’s a beast running wild, there’s no question. but i feel the wrong monster’s released”), ending in him being smashed by a piano and left by gaston. the spell lifted and lefou was actually good.  

history-

loved the line in be our guest when lumiere says “after all miss, this is france!” and then the knife chops down #historynerd

loved the asylum vs. hospital comments

loved that she wasn’t just taking books from a bookstore but it was a church that had books that she could borrow

music-

alright here is where my few negative things about this movie come in

emma watson- not a great singer, yeah they used autotune but in our entertainment industry it’s not cool to use playback singers like bollywood does soooo what to do when someone is otherwise great for a role? overall, not as good as paige o’hara but good enough not to impact the movie

dan stevens- good enough singer for evermore, and i was overall pretty cool with him singing

emma thompson- as much as i love everything about her and her voice, you can’t really beat angela lansbury for “beauty and the beast”

audra mcdonald- slay.

but i really liked the reprise of “beauty and the beast” at the very end. especially the new verse and the ensemble at the end. cried so hard.

“day in the sun” worked better for the film than “human again” would have but it wasn’t a great stand-alone

"EVERMORE”. y’all can gripe about why they didn’t just use “if i can’t love her” all you want, but “evermore” was beautiful and fit the new beast character they created so much better. i cried so hard. 

josh gad singing “gaston” is bae

luke evans also killed it

and i was happy with ewan mcgregor too

random-

attempts at diversity? good job disney. you tried, and definitely improved. the ensemble was not all white people (plus plumette and madame) garderobe)

lol @ cogsworth’s wife(?)

the transformation: love that they did a lot of shot-for-shot remakes i.e. the hand transforming and the foot...

okay so idk if this influenced anything- but i feel like the enchantress in this film reminded me of the genre of greek myth called theoxeny by the way she stayed in the town as agathe. (theoxeny is when gods disguise themselves to test people’s hospitality and then punish them if they suck). everyone treats agathe like shit besides maurice so she saves him. then she’s comes back to change the beast back. 

the end when she asks him to grow a beard was slightly creepy... funny but ew...

i love the prevalence of roses throughout (the rattle, stealing the rose, etc.)

i also love how the petals falling makes the castle crumble more and more. awesome.

i’m sure i had more feelings... but this is long enough lol