#listen i love alyx

[needsmoreexplosions]

Just realized that Alyx Vance didn't get to grow up on Bionicle and i'm LIVID at what was taken from her

[infectioustomfoolery]

HALF LIFE HEADCANONS

(feat my man kade)

For all intents and purposes, this is for fun and any time period mishaps should be ignored. Part two eventually.

Gordon Freeman

- 5’10”, green eyes and slutty little waist, he/him, autistic, dumb little ponytail.

- So white. So very very white.

- Makes absolutely no facial expressions ever.

- Talks exclusively through sign language, but even then sparingly.

- Got a major staring problem.

- Probably trans idfk.

- He’s definitely gay or aroace.

- He has no idea he’s autistic, gay, or in love with Barney.

- He has PTSD and because of that he’s a prick to the Vortigaunts.

- Hopelessly addicted to morphine

- Anger issues but no one can tell

- Everyone in Black Mesa wants to fuck him silly.

- Derealization issues

- Really does NOT fw Alyx

- Regularly keeps up with Aperture Science

- Chell’s brother

- “I’m not gay, Barney.”

- He is. He so is.

- Definitely thinks Barney is a sexy beast in the combine uniform

- Plays DND and likes Star Trek

Barney Calhoun

- 5’6”, he/him, spectral heterochromia

- Gay and knows it

- Probably trans too fuck if I know

- Fluffy hair, permanent 5 o’clock shadow. He’s so goddamn hairy.

- If he doesn’t pluck his eyebrows, he’ll grow a unibrow

- Dadbod

- Alcoholic

- Literally never shuts up

- Every single guard in Half Life 1 is Barney. They’re all Barney. Always have been.

- The Blue Shift Barney is “our” Barney, though. I like to think he retained all the other Barney’s memories.

- Frat boy in college. He told them he liked football and now he has to pretend

- Poses infront of the mirror everytime he has a uniform on

- Understands Gordon Freeman perfectly literally no matter what

- He got a fucked up leg from the elevator crash.

- Cries over Gordon at least once a day

- Really hates all the Half Life 1 scientists. They’re douches.

- Gun enthusiast

- Likes conspiracy theories

- Lauren doesn’t exist, she never existed. He’s just a fat liar.

- Listens to Mitski

- Beefs with Adrian because Adrian thinks its funny but really does not care

- Southern as Hell

Adrian Shephard

1.) She’s a FEMALE

2.) She’s not a BOY

3.) and most importantly, She’s a GIRL!

- 6’5”, blue eyes, she/him (she has a preference for she but Does Not Care.)

- Butch lesbian

- Was in the military with Soldier from TF2. She played along with his antics and sort of “trained” under him.

- white, but very tan

- She gets hurt a lot

- Laughs obnoxiously loud

- Wears boxers

- Blonde, either a crewcut or mullet situation

- Probably has an eyebrow slit, but in a scar way not in a gay way

- Speaking of which she is COVERED in scars and bullet wounds

- Also freckles why not

- Very high pain/spice tolerance

- Fucking LOVES nascar (poor and stupid)

- Was able to make it into the military because when she was filling out the papers she wrote "yes" next to sex and the government just thought he was a normal amount of US Marine stupid

- Colette and Gina saw her from across the bar, and they really dig her vibe

- Her mask makes her sound really grovely and awesome (see: https://youtu.be/Fr8Jxm65EC8?si=5WvOpXfQerjM7G79 )

- She beefs with Barney

- Gets a kick out of annoying Gordon Freeman to death

- Probably makes thirst traps on TikTok

- Has really good abs

- Scout’s older sister

- So she’s from Boston

[bookie-bookdust]

Sebastian Sallow Fucking Sucks playlist✨

I'd make a literal playlist and link it buuuuuuut I don't care lol. This is honestly more for me than anything. I tried not to come off too dramatic with my choices, but it feels dramatic anyway. Ao3 and WP fic links here and here respectively.

One More Night by Red Handed Denial

Loveless by PVRIS

April, I'm Dying by KID BRUNSWICK

EVEN by Bad Omens

In the Dark by Solence

ceasefire by STIM

all I know by nightlife

Lose Control by Shallowsky

Famous Last Words (An Ode to Eaters) 1017 ALYX 9SM and Ethel Cain

Y.S.K.W by Catch Your Breath

Hate Me by Caskets

BRUISES by Echos

& Cry! by Middle Part

Spiracle by Flower Face

Ultraviolet by Spiritbox

The Devil in Decisions by Hands Like Houses

Chasing Shadows by Zero 9:36

Hostage by Black Math

Ballerina by VOILÀ and The Word Alive

THE CONTORTIONIST by Melanie Martinez

Please Be Rude by Gigi Perez

Jaws by Sleep Token

Oil & Water by PVRIS

Before You Go by Archers

We Have It All by Pim Stones

Ghost of Me by Make Them Suffer

True Friends by Bring Me The Horizon

Vertigo (Live Acoustic) by Jutes

SOMETHING IN THE WATER by Kami Kehoe

"like seeing spiders running riot on your lover's grave" by Bring Me The Horizon feat. Happyalone.

Enemy by The Plot In You

burn my house down by Architects

guilty by elijah

Woe Is Me...I Am Ruined by The Lonely Forest

If you've read SSFS and have a song in mind, I'd love to hear 🥰 I looooove music and listen to most genres. I listened to like 1300 different artists last year according to Spotify. Just keep TSwift's bony ass away from me sorry I hate her so so much LOL.

[hadesisqueer]

God look at Alyx. I love this design.

Her eyebrows? Her lips? Her curly hair? Congrats, CRWBY, she's gorgeous.

Also, I really appreciate that while CRWBY know how to ignore stupid hate, they do listen to constructive criticism. Last volume, someone pointed out that people with darker skintones have lighter hand palms, and they have listened: look at Alyx's hands, they're properly shaded. They also did this in Arrowfell. Also, some fans also people wished there was more variety in hairstyles for black characters beyond straight hair, and they've also listened! Look at Roane in Arrowfell, or at Vixen and Cyborg in the JL movie crossover.

They do listen and try to get better, and that's something I appreciate because like. Also look at them, they look amazing.

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 1

Propaganda Under Cut

Ginny Weasley

Okay hold on I know Harry Potter is bad its awful I KNOW BUT LISTEN- the way drarries have BUTCHERED and KILLED her character is something that truly needs to be studied because its one thing to make her and harry not date but oh my god they treat her like she is the DEVIL for EXISTING.

Tbh only remember the epilogue where they do a time skip and Harry and Ginny are married then they have a Bunch of kids boarding the train. In fics I see a lot of her either becoming psychotic trying to marry Harry and become lady potter or molly Weasley getting a contract to force a marriage. There’s a lot of m/m ships in the fandom but I think Harry and Draco are the most popular? Just wanted to throw someone different in here

The thing is, the deeper I got into the fics, the worse Ginny got? Like I read plenty of good fics where she was cool, but there was the same amount where for some reason she was controlling, or abusive, or dead. Like for Drarry? Come on! If you think Ginny sucks, I have some *shocking* news about Draco

Alyx Vance

She genuinely gets so much hate from fans who like to ship Gordon and Barney because she's Gordon's canon love interest and it's tragic because she's such an interesting character.

I LOVE HER SM but she's so often mistreated and shoved under the rug by not only ppl mischaracterizing her due to being a woman of color but also to shove her to the side for freehoun (gordon freeman/barney calhoun) bc she "gets in the way" of freehoun by being canonically into gordon ........ i need her to stay safe in my arms

Literally gordon freemans canon love interest, and she loves gordon so much. I love her and i love their relationship even if gordon is a bit of a blank slate character. Anyway Freemance (Alyx/Gordon) is way less popular than Freehoun (Gordon/Barney). Barney is some guy who appeared in half life 1 but didnt even have a name. He appears at like the beginning and end of hl2. He is a side character. And yet for some fucking reason people always push alyx out of the way to ship gordon with this random white guy (Should mention at this point that alyx is a black woman). Alyx and her relationship with Gordon have WAY more development than anything about Barney (did BARNEY get a whole game dedicated to him?). And yet. I literally saw a freehoun shipper try to say that freemance is pedophilia and freehoun should be alyx's "dads." The reasoning for this being that hl2 takes place 20 years after hl1, and gordon, at 27, was put into stasis for those 20 years. When he comes out Alyx is 24 and Barney is in his 40s. The argument is that gordon actually did age those 20 years even though he was fucking suspended in time. They even claimed that "gordon probably babysitted alyx at some point" which there is absolutely no evidence for - meeting Alyx in hl2 is pretty heavily implied to be Gordon's first time meeting her. But like functionally Gordon is 3 years older than Alyx and 20 years younger than barney!!! He did not have any fucking life experience while he was in time prison!!! It's an absolutely insane reach to try and justify why you are sidelining a black woman!!!!!! Basically I love alyx I love freemance and I do not trust freehoun shippers because there is some kind of racism and misogyny happening there to make them sideline Alyx for a random white guy

[deckof-dragons]

After only about a year, I'm replaying Half Life 2 again! It's for that sweet new dev commentary. I was thinking about getting the achievements I missed too but the dev commentary disables getting achievements. Which I guess makes sense, while listening to them the player is invulnerable, still kinda annoying though. I might get them later via going to the chapters they're in directly. It would mean more time with the gnome which would be fun (other than keeping him in the damn car anyway).

And I'd already been thinking about replaying the VR mods for it and then into another Alyx playthrough, using my left hand (non-dominant) for the guns. So I'll probably do that after I finish this dev commentary playthrough.

The Half Life games are real good. I slept on them for way too long. Also, lots of people have already said this but, 2 is free right now and the episode sequels have finally been brought into the fold. The rest of the franchise is also on sale (If you don't have a VR headset I've heard there's a mod for it that allows you to play it flat) so now would be a good time to get into it if you haven't already. (Join me in loving Alyx, please, she doesn't get as much love as she deserves.)

I'm still not letting myself get too hype about the Half Life 3 leaks but ooh, they did this all this cool stuff with HL 2 for its b-day, indicating they care about the series again. So I am a little bit hype. I hope it comes out and I hope it's good. I also would like it if they make it so you can play in VR or flat, similar to how the first Subnautica did but with motion controls. I doubt they'll do that, it'd probably be much more work that wouldn't be worth it for them but ooh, I sure would love that. That's just a fun fantasy though. Like I said, I'm not letting myself get too hyped for it yet, so many things could still go wrong that might result in it not happening.

[roosterm3at]

alyx headcanons please 🤲🤲🤲

alyx!!! hc

she has the adhd to me so bad

shes pansexual

i think alyx for sure has dated a lot of diff types of people, based on how quickly she flirts with gordon i think she is a very flirtatious person but i do think she struggles to actually deepen those relationships because shes scared by becoming too attached to someone and then having them ripped away from her, and it probably has happen before.

she lovvvesss aliens and critters, if there's a way for her to befriend them she will find a way. she will tame a strider if possible

drives like maniac and it makes barney soooo nervous he hates when she drives because barney is an anxious backseat driver and Alyx is driving places no cars should ever be

her and eli absolutely play boardgames together, they play clue and eli always wins

she does graffiti all over city 17 and has made some pretty rocker murals

she loves drawing people, (valhoun crap she has a bunch of doodles of barney in her little sketch book that she did when he wasn't looking)

she listens to loud ass 90s punk music and her dad's old CDs while she tinkers with her robotics

for sure has some stick n poke tats

[octahedral-chaos]

Daylily, my sweet girl!

(I don't have anything in mind, so please feel free to ramble all you want about her!)

Yeah!!!!! The silly ophan who popped in while listening to nightcore-

Okay so more tidbits about her

Uses she/ they (Prefers she/ her)

7'9 (Kind of short for an ophan?)

Favourite animals are wolves (... Yes she would have a sparkledog oc-)

General aesthetics would be similar to cybergoth and scenemo (Clothes-wise... at least-)

LOVES music. Favourite genres are hyperpop, speedcore and metal/ rock (Think early 2000's - early 2010's bands)

If it wasn't for the fact that she's an ophan and is over 7 feet tall, she would wear Green Day merch (Decided that her favourite rock band is Green Day-)

Owns an Idog and Ipod, Carol got those for her as a gift.

Because of trauma, she prefers to hide the fact that they're missing wings. They usually use hoodies and stuff to cover the scars from that... ordeal.

Will use 2000's slang on occasion (The starfolks are mildly confused)

Probably crashes by Carol and Alyx when on Earth, and probably lives with her flock when in the Realms.

Decided that her flock is Hills Delta-Samek. @sqarletsworldlesswandering I might have accidentally made an entire flock-

Anyways... back on her flock! Her "parents" would be tailors or something. One would probably make tapestries and such, while the other would probably be a scribe? Not too sure.

She may or may not be an only child.

Also to explain how she got on Earth in the first place. Basically a storm or some other disaster happened and unfortunately... Daylily and her family was caught at the wrong place at the wrong time: Daylily got swept away during the chaos, before getting yeeted into a rift.

[decks-writing-blog]

How Long Has it Been?

Summary: From Gordon's perspective he's just killed the Nihilanth and accepted G-man's job offer before getting dropped off on the train. Clearly a lot's happened that he missed.

[A/N] I'm playing Half-Life 2 again (the VR mod of it which is awesome, if you have a VR headset, I highly recommend it) and I realized at the start, no one explains to Gordon what's up with the Combine. They weren't around when he was put into stasis by the G-man so in that moment he'd have no idea what's going on. And it's been 20 years so all his friends are gonna be visibly older so that'd probably throw him for a loop too. So in answer to these thoughts, I wrote this. He also gets to have a little sit down because being frozen in time doesn't count as having a break and he's certainly earned one.

~

If Barney hadn’t introduced himself upon lowering the helmet’s visor, Gordon might not have recognized him. He was older, not just older than Gordon where once he’d been a couple years younger but old enough that his hair was starting to noticeably gray. Just a little around the edges, he wasn’t an old man yet, but, unless he was graying super early, it was a clear sign that more than just a handful of years had gone by as Gordon had first hoped upon realizing he’d lost time when stepping off the train.

What all had Gordon missed whilst in stasis? Not just with what was going on with his friends but the world as a whole. Who were the Combine? Did they have anything to do with the aliens he’d fought before? Certainly not, right? He’d defeated their leader, or at least someone important to their attack… somehow, barely. So what was going on? How many years had it been?

He lifted his hands to ask. Too slow though, Barney was already talking again. “When Eli said you were coming, I almost didn’t believe it. And then when I saw you I almost didn’t believe it again ‘cause well… you look exactly the same as you did back when I last saw you. You haven’t aged a day.”

How could Gordon possibly look the same? So much had happened. He’d killed more people and aliens than he cared to ever think about. He’d died and come back also more times than he could ever think too much about whilst also hoping to keep whatever thread of sanity he had left intact. He’d been to an alien world and killed and alien superpower. How could none of that have changed him visually at least as much as the years had changed Barney?

“But man, is it good see you again. I uh… missed you.” Barney sagged a little, the emotion on his face unreadable. A moment later though, he shook it off as he straightened. “But as much as I’d love to chat for a a bit, we don’t exactly have time to catch up right now. We gotta get you to Kleiner’s lab, ASAP.” He turned and started typing into the console again.

A few moments later Kleiner’s face came up on the monitor. He too was visibly older; more wrinkled, balder, and what little hair he had left, entirely gray. Like Barney, he was alive though, he’d survived the Black Mesa disaster. And Barney had mentioned Eli so that meant he’d gotten out too. But… how many more survivors were there? How many casualties? Now probably wasn’t a good time to ask.

“Dr. Kleiner, you’ll never guess who just showed up,” Barney said, whatever somber emotion he’d been feeling before fully gone from his voice now.

Later, Gordon would get his answers later. For now he’d just continue to listen and do as he was told. Barney and Kleiner knew what they were doing, they’d explain it in time. Besides, Gordon had gotten quite good at forging on ahead despite emotionally not wanting to.

~

It wasn’t until the elevator slowed to a stop that it finally clicked who Alyx was, or more like who exactly she was talking about when she mentioned her dad. Perhaps it should’ve clicked with him sooner, especially after having seen visible signs of age on Barney and Kleiner, but he was still getting used to the fact that he’d been in stasis for who even knew how long.

“You’re Eli Vance’s daughter,” he signed before she could turn away as the doors opened with a soft ping. He’d never met her or seen anything more than just the single photo Eli had kept of her on his desk but Eli had talked about her sometimes. Enough that Gordon knew her name. And if she was, there was a good chance he’d have taught her sign language as it was useful for far more than just people who couldn’t speak.

She gasped, almost seeming to flinch a little. “Oh, I’m sorry, are you… do you need me to…” She awkwardly lifted her hands to sign, her movements slow and unsure. “Yes. Eli is my dad. Sorry. I’m… I’m…” She fumbled with her hands, clearly unsure how to say whatever it was she wanted to say.

“I can hear.” Gordon made sure to move his hands a bit slower than usual as she clearly wasn’t very comfortable with this form of communication. “You don’t need to sign to talk to me.” He appreciated the effort though, not everyone did.

“Oh, thank god,” she said, visibly relaxing as she lowered her hands. “For a moment there I thought you missed everything I just said. Dad taught me sign language when I was little but I don’t get many opportunities to use it outside of missions. And for those we we only really use stuff like ‘all clear’ or ‘three Combine ahead’, you know?” As she said the phrases out loud, she also lifted her hands to sign them too. “So I’m not very good at it.”

“That’s fine.”

“All right um… I guess I’m gonna have to practice that, huh? For now though, we should continue. We’re almost there.” She turned and resuming leading the way and Gordon continued to follow. Still no time to waste on talking apparently.

~

Despite never having been in this iteration of Kleiner’s lab, it still felt somewhat familiar and very Kleiner. A cluttered mess that was somehow still organized. The addition of Lamarr wasn’t nearly as shocking as everything else Gordon had seen upon waking up in the new present. In fact, it was the exact kind of thing Gordon would’ve expected from him if he’d been given the time to think about it.

As Lamarr hopped away, Gordon set to exploring. Not counting his time in stasis, it hadn’t been that long since he’d last been in a working laboratory but it certainly had felt like it had been ages. He missed it.

Would he ever be allowed to settle down and just be a normal theoretical physicist ever again? If given the chance would he even be able to? The world had changed so much while he was in stasis and he’d changed so much during the fallout of the resonance cascade. All the killing, violence, and death weren’t things he could just pretend didn’t happen. Surely there could be no peace after…

Something touched his shoulder. Flinching, he snapped around to face it as he reached for a gun that wasn’t there. He scrambled for were his crowbar should be magnetized to suit’s front instead but that also wasn’t there.

“You okay, pal?” It was just Barney looking at Gordon with a concerned expression. His hand was still raised as if he wanted to put it back on Gordon’s shoulder but didn’t dare.

Trying to pretend he wasn’t breathing a bit harder and his heart wasn’t still racing, Gordon stepped back and looked up and around to see Alyx and Kleiner looking at him with similar shocked expressions. They’d been talking to him, hadn’t they? He’d heard their voices but had been too lost in thought to pay attention. Here, that was fine, anywhere else though, a death sentence. Even if he reset afterwards, dying hurt, sometimes a lot. He’d like to avoid it whenever possible so he had to be more wary and honestly shouldn’t have relaxed as much as he had in the first place.

“I’m fine. Continue.” Somehow he managed to keep his hands steady as he signed.

Silence held for a few moments before Kleiner broke it. “Ah well, as I was saying, I upgraded your HEV suit. If you would like to put it on, I’ll go over the specifics with you.” He turned to the keypad in the wall he’d apparently walked over to whilst Gordon hadn’t been paying attention. He input a code, opening the metal door next to him. Inside was indeed the HEV suit.

Of course Gordon had to put the suit back on. He wasn’t here to rest and relax, he had a mission to complete even if he wasn’t sure of the full perimeters of it. He was good at killing people now and even better at not dying because he didn’t stay dead when he did die. There was probably no time to waste either, things were happening, he needed to get a move on. But also…

“How long has it been?” Surely asking for at least that much would be okay, right?

“Since when?” Barney had stepped back from him and lowered his hand to lean lightly on a nearby table but he was still just in arms’ reach.

“Since everything that happened at Black Mesa.”

“Oh, uh, ‘bout twenty years, I think.”

“Twenty years to the the exact date, actually,” Kleiner added. “From the resonance cascade, not since you went to Xen to kill the Nihilanth.”

Oh. He’d lost twenty years. But hey, at least he had a name for the thing he’d killed Not that helped him much. He still missed twenty years of his friends life while apparently the world went to hell even despite his efforts to save it.

“Wait, if he’s been frozen in time since the Black Mesa incident, does he not know what’s going on with the Combine and stuff?” Alyx said it in a near whisper to Kleiner, just barely audible to Gordon from over here. Thanks to the suit, all that gunfire hadn’t damaged his eardrums though so he did hear it.

Kleiner took a moment to respond, his forehead wrinkled in thought. “Now that you mention it… Gordon, do you know what’s going on? I’d assumed you’d been told but if you don’t even know how long it’s been…” He trailed off.

Ah, so they hadn’t been barreling on because they didn’t care, they’d assumed he was caught up. Probably a safe assumption to make since the man in the suit could’ve easily told him something before dropping him off on that train. “I know nothing.”

“Oh dear, we don’t have time for a full debriefing right now but you are certainly owed and explanation. Come on, come over here and sit down and I’ll give you a rundown on things.” Kleiner gestured for Gordon to come over as he walked back over to his desk. “Barney, go with Alyx and help her brush up on her sign language skills, she’s gonna need them now that’s Gordon’s back. Though, really we could probably all brush up on them some.”

The thought of sitting down and having something explained to him was almost too good to be true. Surely something would come up to interrupt them. … If so though, Gordon should hurry over to get as much explanation as he could before that happened. He jogged over while Barney and Alyx moved off to the side. Besides, he’d earned an explanation and a break. Even if it was bound to be brief, he’d happily take it.

[glendover]

new podcasts I discovered this week while I frantically finished a crocheting project:

Syntax - how come I’ve never heard anyone talk about it???? I’m only on eps 8 but is sooo good and Silas is baby girl through and through,,, also pls let me hug J, Alyx and Lissy 😭

Midnight Burger - soooo funny and cool??? Gloria is such a mood and Caspar pls I love him (also I’m on episode 5)

The storage papers - I finally caved in and listened to it, it’s good but Uhm I think I missed the over all plot (or maybe there isn’t one idk I’m just confused 😭💀 but I’m also only on eps 10)

[blankfairy]

✍️ WIP Wednesday Friday SUNDAY✍️

haha i'm not late or anything.... don't worry about it (:

i was tagged by both @murmel-malt and @rainwingmarvel7, thank you guys!! i loved your excerpts :3

i've been reworking the intro to my fic a bit,, it's not too exciting but

[...] Death-touched flesh. Hollowed bones and festering skin. Samsa eyed the crack beneath King Viserys Targaryen's door, tasted the air soaked in sickness and sweetsmoke, and decided then and there that there was no saving him. Three-and-ten, self-decidedly wise to the ways of life and death and the powers that kept each at bay, wondered if her aunt's facade was even worth playing. Alyx continued to fuss with her hair. "You won't do that in the presence of the king." Samsa was too busy trying to listen to the murmuring behind the door to give her lady aunt any attention. "... Do what?" "Disregard me. Ignore someone who's speaking to you. Stare..." The king's voice was a hoarse murmur, and what must have been the queen's was firm, worried. Samsa heard nothing of the Hand. Alyx pressed the underside of Samsa's chin with a sharp finger. "... with your mouth agape like a simpering fool." Her gaze, an indigo as rich as the sky at dusk, was fierce. Still, she found her threats harder to take seriously now that she had to look up into Samsa's eyes.

it's sunday so i won't tag anyone, but, if anyone sees this they're welcome to do it themselves!! just tag me so i can see what you post!! :D

[urmomsfavelesbian]

wooooooo music sharing tag game my faaave, ty @snowflakenali 🥳 im also gonna not do the same artist twice teehee let’s see what we got

willow and aquaria both like this album and it was on my 2023 aoty list :3

im not immune to instagram pseudo hyperpop

okay listen yes i think of that one daya performance (and subsequently ultra rare daya tummy) every Single time but i also just really like this song okay

😭 someone’s gonna perform this at the dyke tour i SWEAR IT anyway i love my lesbian pop princess

brain tingly 😌

im no one without hayden

i-

i had a breakdown and listened to this thirty times like two months ago why is it still there 😳

cuntry

picture me alone in my room listening to this while thinking about daya and geeking

thank you for the taaaag i was way too excited about this clearly !!! no pressure tags @polychromeedge @dayabot @that-art-hoe @thecollectionsof

[skaruresonic]

"Lanolin is interesting because even the sonic series needs moments of negativity every now and then"

Somehow I don't consider the equivalent of an overly bossy store manager to be more emotionally moving than when an entire tribe got wiped out by their god

Lanolin doesn't add anything new. She's just annoying.

You know the character is unpleasant when you love kuuderes and assholes and even you don't want to be an apologist for them lol.

Apologies for the Half-Life talk - how people claim Lanolin is disrespected on the basis of gender reminds me of how Judith Mossman is actually sidelined and disrespected on the basis of her gender. Not only within fandom, but within certain parts of canon too.

Mossman is another strait-laced, uppity mom friend character. She, like Lanolin, has few quirks to speak of. The only thing we know about her background is that she lost a job to Gordon Freeman and likely resents him for it even 20 years later.

Few HL players actually like Mossman and care to examine their reasons for why. It's pretty much a reflex for most players to dislike her, often upon the very moment of meeting her for the first time.

While some of this dislike can be chalked up to Mossman deliberately emitting two-faced vibes, it can't all be attributed to just that. Otherwise you'd have people glibly writing "let's pop a cap in Breen's ass" fics as well. Her gender does factor in.

Mossman frequently rubs people the wrong way. If you pressed them on why, they'd probably say it's because she's duplicitous and hides her real emotions behind a fake smile (much like Lanolin's "plastic smile"), but here's where the double standards emerge. While Mossman occupies roughly the same roles as Barney Calhoun and Dr. Breen, neither Breen nor Barney are nearly as maligned as Judith. Which begs questions of why.

Dr. Breen is so two-faced that it's laughable, and he doesn't receive half as much disregard as she does. Probably the difference is that Breen is eloquent and someone you love to hate while you listen to him bluster on about nothing, so we give him a pass.

Honestly, I suspect that the likeliest explanation is that Mossman reminds people of an evil stepmother archetype. Some authority figure who spoils your fun through strict adherence to rules. That one teacher in childhood that used to piss you off by being so uptight. They're not really looking at her so much as whatever mental proxy she stands for.

It doesn't help that she's the "no fun allowed" guy, literally telling Alyx "the zero-point energy field manipulator is not a toy." And since we're inclined to befriend Alyx, we're inclined to dislike whoever she dislikes.

However, there's more to Mossman than simply being an austere traitor who sugarcoats her words. She shows glimpses of vulnerability, of reconciliation with Alyx, and once she stands up to Breen, she's on our side for good.

There's a lot of potential for depth and complexity with her character and her motivations, which makes it unfortunate that fandom seems more interested in writing 10K-word angsty Barney Calhoun character studies instead. Especially since Barney was created just to be some rando.

Coupled with the way Marc Laidlaw practically forced Alyx to stuff her in the fridge in Epistle 3, these are all reasons why I am the biggest Mossman apologist ever. Normally I would be in the camp that's not too hot on her, but her treatment makes me protective in a way that's simply not present in my feelings on Lanolin.

You mean to tell me we're given the choice to mercy-kill Breen, motherfucking Breen, but Alyx lugs a tortured Mossman around, blames her for Eli's death, and unceremoniously pops one between her eyes once she's outlived her usefulness? Nah, Marc, you're too drunk to drive. Give me your keys.

...Anyway. My point is that you can have negative Nancies, but they need to not be so goddamn dour all the time. Unlike Lanolin, you can see bits and pieces of Judith's humanity peek through the hardened crust of insensitive character writing. That alone makes it worth suffering through the fridging and undercooked portrayals.

Lanolin, on the other hand, doesn't really give us any glimpses, if at all, of a personality to offset her unpleasant demeanor. Assholes aren't assholes 24/7, but it's like every time you see her on the page, she's sneering for no real reason.

[pilot-boi]

Plotbunny AU Anon Here:

Listen to me and listen well everyone.

ARKOS

WILL

GET

THEIR

HAPPY

ENDING

THIS

TIME

So help me, if RT wants to mock us with their angst fuel in recent stuff regarding Arkos, I will make this fluffy fix-it story be their shelter!

The SS Arkos hasn't sunk in this story o-mine, and Cinder needs to get rekked to make it happen then she will not make it out of Vale.

(insert image of Looming Alyx With Glare)

(I already decided a while back how Cinder would meet her end, and fittingly, it all comes back to something Pyrrha once told Jaune that Canon even reinforced for me as a viable tactic > : } )

"They are the darkness, and we are the light."

Oh thank freaking god

THEY DESERVE TO BE HAPPY GOD DAMMIT

CRWBY WHY DO YOU KEEP TAUNTING US

Don’t get me wrong, I love the angst fuel. Jaune being tormented feeds me better than any actual food

But thank goodness they get to be happy in this AU

I’m interested to find out what this viable tactic is to defeat Cinder. Something about literally using light to defeat the darkness, which is a cool idea

[bluerose5]

Stargazing with shavik??? Pretty please??

Love them! Just a couple of soldiers in a post-war galaxy. 🥺

~~~

There came a time in life when the war ended.

The soldiers came home, laid down their weapons, and took a breath.

For once, the impossible seemed possible. Species all across the galaxy banded together. All of Commander Shepard’s hard work finally paid off, and that unity survived into the aftermath of the Reaper War. Recovery efforts were extensive; but for the first time in a long while, hope persevered.

There would come a time when Shepard’s help would be needed again. Of that, they were certain.

And when the call came, they would answer.

For now, however, they were going to enjoy the peace while it lasted.

Calloused fingers reached out at their side, brushing lightly along the tips of tall grass. Each blade danced in the cool, evening breeze, their color slightly washed out in the darkness of night.

Echoes of the past whispered through each individual blade of grass, the effects of the Cipher growing stronger with each passing day. Slowing to a halt, Alyx let their eyes slip closed, and they listened.

Flashes of memories played out like scenes out of a movie. Children chased flying insects native to the area. Young lovers sprinted through the fields with breathless grins. Fires roared while the geth trampled past the destruction left in their wake. Ghosts of an empire cried out as their home was annihilated.

Alyx hadn’t even realized they were holding their breath, not until they felt fingers brush against their own.

They inhaled sharply, and fresh air brought in a rush of oxygen along with it, causing their head to spin.

The memories they could sense around them were replaced with familiar ones, most of them equally as chilling, but familiar nonetheless.

Alyx opened their eyes to stare at Javik.

It was still so strange, seeing him outside of his armor, experimenting with different styles from various species. Civilian attire suited him, though, especially the looser, lighter fabrics that he seemed to prefer.

In spite of themself, Alyx smiled.

Javik spared them a glance, lips parted.

“What?” he asked.

They immediately shook their head.

“It’s nothing.” He leveled them with a curious stare, so Alyx shrugged. “I was just thinking that this is where we first met.”

"That, it is," he replied, then snorted after a second. "Don't tell me you're feeling sentimental, Commander."

"And if I was?" they countered, never one to back down around him. "Would that be so bad?"

He considered that, fingers twitching.

"No, perhaps not." 

For the first time since Alyx knew him, everything about him was so gentle. His voice, his eyes, his touch.

When he reached out to take Alyx's face in his hands, Alyx surrendered to all of the emotions, thoughts, and memories exchanged between them. He traced every single detail, fascinated, and Alyx let him.

Eventually, he asked, "Tell me. What do people like us do when there is no war to be fought?"

A fair enough question. He had been born into battle. It was all he knew when he went to sleep, and it was the first thing he woke up to in a far-distant future.

Alyx knew a time "before" war, but their time on Earth sometimes felt like a battlefield in and of itself.

They placed their hands over his, stopping them in their path, and squeezed.

For that moment, he sounded so lost, and that feeling echoed through Alyx, both of them feeding into the feeling.

That didn't mean they couldn't at least try and make sense of the uncertainty.

"When the war is over, soldiers must find a new purpose," Alyx explained in a whisper. "Easier said than done, I know, but we have to keep going. We build a new life."

They glanced back over their shoulder, the lights from the colony twinkling like stars themselves.

"That's what Eden Prime has always been, right? A beginning and an end. A place where our old lives ended and our new ones began." They took a deep breath to steady the tremor in their voice. "It was where the Reapers' war on this cycle first started, so… I don't know." They gave a half-shrug. "I felt it was fitting to end the post-war victory tour here, to remember those lost."

Even then, off in the distance, they could hear celebrations in full swing. While there was still much to rebuild, scars that needed to heal, the colonists were more than happy to have a reprieve away from all the devastation that had been inflicted upon them, time and time again. They were given a chance to focus on all of the good that life had to offer, so they seized the opportunity.

They definitely earned the break, and then some.

"Figured this was our chance to put the past to rest," Alyx said. Hesitantly, they wrapped their arms around him, but Javik accepted the embrace without complaint. "Together."

Golden eyes stared down at them. For a split second, he glanced towards the colony, humming low in contemplation.

"Together," he said with a hint of finality. "But let's take a walk. You mentioned on the ride here that it's been a while since you've seen the stars from planetside."

"It has been," they stated, wrinkling their nose ever so slightly, "and Earth wasn't exactly known for its views when I grew up there. Too much pollution at the time."

Not to take into account its condition when Alyx was last there, but neither of them mentioned that.

Javik tugged them along instead.

"Then, let's go." He coaxed them away from all of the noise. "We're not going to see much this close to the settlement."

"Yeah," Alyx agreed, "although, if we want the full impact, then we have a long trip ahead of us."

"That's never stopped us before."

"You're right."

And it wasn’t going to stop them now.

They tangled their fingers together, and they set off into the night.

They lost track of time after a while, but that mattered little to them. They continued walking, hand in hand, no matter how many times they faltered.

Cybernetic scars split open Alyx's skin in little, web-like cracks, but they hardly felt as self-conscious about them now as they did when they first woke up after Project Lazarus. The violet lighting glowed, penetrating through the haze of darkness.

Each step forward revealed how Alyx favored one side while walking, a noticeable limp to their right leg that never really went away after the war.

Their right arm was completely prosthetic. Metallic at the moment, but it worked well enough for them.

There were scars from burns that never quite healed right, and pain always lingered, even if nothing more than a dull background noise.

Alyx coped with it as best as they could, took it all in stride, or so they let on.

It was their reminder of all that they had survived, the sacrifices that they made to get to where they were.

It was a reminder that they were still alive, that they got an actual chance to live.

Neither one of them said much throughout their journey, but the unspoken exchanges through touch said enough.

Once they reached the top of a hill that overlooked the main settlement, they came to a stop.

"Shall we have a seat?" Alyx asked, waving towards a spot on the ground.

Javik grumbled, but Alyx knew him long enough to know when he was about to start trolling.

"You mean you didn't bring anything for me to sit on? Unacceptable. I'll have you know that I do not need to settle for these types of condi—"

"Oh, shut up."

With a shove of their biotics, they knocked him onto his ass.

Before he could respond, they were already snuggling up to him, their back to his chest. As they squirmed their way in between his legs, they took his arms and wrapped them around themself, a smug smile upon their lips.

Javik huffed, disgruntled yet fond.

"I think you just like to push me around."

"I like to put you in your place," Alyx corrected, their expression coy. "'Pushing you around,' as you call it, is a part of that at times, but I certainly don't hear you complaining."

A lone grunt of acknowledgement, followed by a pointed silence, was answer enough.

Alyx snickered, nudging him lightly.

"Now, hush. Enjoy the view with me."

Not a difficult order to follow. Away from all the light and noise, the night sky lit up in delight. Stars came out of hiding and brightened for their audience, glittering like precious gems. 

Alyx mapped out that portion of the sky in their mind, seeking out familiar constellations with the eagerness of a child.

Even the soil held onto fragmented remains of those who came before, explorers that charted their course through the vast sea of space.

Perhaps that could be their new purpose. To explore, instead of fighting. Even the Milky Way still had a lot of untouched areas, ready and waiting to be seen.

All things considered, staring up at those stars reminded Alyx how small their corner of the universe truly was.

It might make their lives seem insignificant to some in the grander scheme of things, but Alyx thought that it emphasized the importance of their home all the more, to have so many willing to fight so hard to preserve the integrity of a speck of dust that was lost amongst the sandstorm.

Parting their lips, they released a shaky breath.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" they whispered.

"Yes, you are."

A solid beat passed before they fully processed that, startling even themself by laughing aloud.

"I meant the stars."

"Oh." He sounded extremely unimpressed compared to before. "Then, yeah, they're alright."

Alyx couldn't help but to grin, even as they rolled their eyes.

To think, they had traveled all over the galaxy, met so many people, but they found their solace in the arms of a Prothean. An alien outside of his time.

And while they might not ever be the types for grand gestures or flowery words, they had something that simply worked for them, and that was all that mattered.

Understanding, familiarity, belonging.

Alyx wouldn't trade that for anything.

Turning in his arms, they captured his lips into a kiss. They knew that it was still strange to him, to show affection in such a way, but he never hesitated to kiss them back.

Roaming hands quickly sought out bared skin, so many words communicated at once yet left unsaid.

Right now, they might feel like a couple of worn-out souls, left floating adrift on their own, but Alyx had faith in them. They'd find what awaited them beyond the uncertainty.

Even those lost at sea could one day happen upon a shore.

When the time was right, they wouldn't hesitate.

They would take that first step towards solid ground, towards stability.

And they would do so together.

[skayafair]

Podcasts against gender stereotypes (yay!)

I made a post about the way gender essentially doesn't exist in Arcane, but I also wanted to say a few words about two podcasts I've been listening to lately.

In The Sheridan Tapes, I was struck by the way Bill Tyler and his partner, Robert Quincy, became the emotional and caring core of the searchers team. Sam Bailey was also allowed to be vulnerable, his "Heart" episode was soul-piercing, and his power relies mostly on intuition, on feelings. He literally needs an emotional connection for it to work in a certain way.

Kate Sheridan and Maria Sol, on the opposite, felt more like the action members of the team for the most of S2, very determined and tough when needed, holding themselves together at all times.

Things shifted to more neutral in S3 and 4, but S2 had me pleasantly surprised, because the traditional gender roles were sort of reversed but not driven to the extremes (like a lot of movies deal with 'tough women' nowadays). I'm agender so I like when gender stereotypes are treated as non-existent and the authors write people, not "men and women".

It's pretty much the same with Syntax Podcast. There's no clear devision gender roles wise, but I liked how Silas - not Lizzy or Alyx or even the most sociable of the group and the team leader Cassius - became 'the caring one' for the team: despite his stuck up attitude at first (or it just sounded that way to me in the beginning, I'm relistening and it feels way less so now), seemingly being more of an introvert and just 'on his own wavelength', it's Silas' trailer where everyone ends up gathering when they need support, Cass goes to him right away from the very beginning when they want to have some advice or just to discuss anything, any time a team member is having a hard time he makes sure to come up to them and give some reassurance or ask if they need help, and it was him who was making rounds to ensure everyone was ok when they were waiting out a siege. All this, considering that they have a leader, a medic and a security head on the team as well. So it wasn't strictly necessary, but he ended up taking this role all the same, just like he used to care about his mother's wellbeing since childhood after his father died.

Greg, being the "papa bear", also never shows any callousness despite serving in the military for the most of his life. In fact, his supernatural experience story is concentrated on moral support of his fallen comerades families. Moreover, although he tries to act tough like his place in the team demands, he's still allowed to show vulnerability and takes the chance. Same with J - military experience and no toxic masculinity whatsoever (I mean yes there were a few jokes but he was lightheartedly picking on Alyx and paid for this right away XD).

The girls are never damsels in distress and do a lot for the team.

(I don't mention enbies since I'm not aware if we even have any stereotypes going on for us, assigned gender at birth aside? Anyway, there's none of that bullshit either.)

Well, I may mention Greg being "papa bear" and June behaving like a mother hen but these traits aren't toxic, at least in their case. They feel very nice, and actually these two (I'm in denial S3 ending-wise, I have a fix it au in my mind OKAY) act pretty similarly in their care for the team, although they do it in different ways. Plus, I don't mind gender existing at all, only the expectations related to it being perceived as mandatory.

Everyone is written just as people, and they don't shy away from things that traditionally may be attributed to the opposite gender. I love to see - well, technically, hear - this. Please, more.

As a side note: I'd love not to pay attention to such things in general because to me people are just people as is, but in the society I live in every day gender stereotypes are still shoved in everyone's faces. In my country visibly not conforming to them is edging on committing a crime now. Plus gender socialization is still a thing, sadly, so toxic masculinity and femininity still exist and show up often enough, so I have to consider this as well. All this makes pieces of media like Arcane, TST or Syntax all the more enjoyable as they show the world the way I see it and would like it to be in reality.