#listen I really don’t want to dox myself

[ripegreenfruit]

’TIS THE SEASON!!

“PIQSIQ’s first Christmas album, Quviasugvik: In Search of Harmony, is a haunting collection of carols sung to the beat of katajjaq, traditional Inuit throat singing. Each track is an eerie and mournful tribute to the complicated relationship many Indigenous Peoples have with the tradition of Christmas. With their dark and ethereal style, PIQSIQ carves out a place to sit in this vast colonial landscape and listen as traditional roots pierce through.”

bro i LOVE indigenous fusion music i love it when indigenous people take traditional practices and language and apply them in new cool ways i love the slow decay and decolonisation of the modern music industry

[aeolianblues]

Everyone (7 IRL people) to whom I’ve been sadly showing this photo has said ‘why don’t you host it?” (Including the local record shop, which I must stress, I am not.

Would anyone in the EST timezone be interested in joining a radio listen party for this album next Sunday? It doesn’t have to be the first time you’re to it, and tbh you don’t actually have to be in EST, just willing to be up at that ungodly hour if you’re further east

[terribleinfluence-tour]

Let’s address the situation

Recently an anonymous reddit/twitter user has accused me of being a stalker of dan and phil because of the way this blog is run.

So, let’s talk about it.

Let’s start with the absolute facts: I have never posted anything to this blog that wasn’t public information.

1. I have never doxxed the location of the tour bus.

Things i have posted about the tour bus: a photo from a crew member where the bus company was visible, a story that Kelly posted that was location tagged to a road in the middle of nowhere showing that dan and phil weren’t in vegas on oct 19.

Reasons why I don’t believe this to be wrong: Any of you who have waited at stage door can see the company is written on the bus, it is not confidential information, knowing the bus companies name does not give you any personal information about dan and phil. As for the location tag, it was in the middle of nowhere, they were already in their next location when it was posted, I was not the first person to post this story, i only posted it cos It was already all over twitter. (however this is the only story i’ve posted that i will gladly take criticism for despite my justifications)

2. I have only posted stories from 2 crew members: Kelly and Sarah. These are public instagram accounts. I only post their stories that are related to the tour itself. I am not the only person and I was not the first person to post these stories anywhere. I have never posted anything from any crew who have private accounts because 1) i can’t see that content cos I obviously do not follow those accounts and 2) i don’t post private information, it’s private for a reason.

I did not seek out the crew accounts, i didn’t not look for them myself, i only knew what they were because multiple people had already been posting the stories from the accounts way before me on both twitter and tumblr. Both these people know phannies follow them on instagram, they’re not going to post anything with information they don’t want you to know.

Despite my justifications, from now on I will be cropping out the usernames of these crew members who do share stuff publicly and in captions i will only be referring to them as crew.

3. Audio Recordings.

First disclaimer: I have never encouraged video recording of the show! I think that it’s distracting to dan and phil and i really think you should be living in the moment when you see this show. There is a reason we have never posted videos of the show on this blog even in our spoiler tag. I believe audio recording to be more harmless because you can just put your phone out of the way and it’s distracting no one at all.

The concept of sharing audio recordings of the show were not my idea, this started on the european leg of the tour by people on twitter, If you look back at the recordings i have posted you’ll see that all the europe audios (apart from antwerp) do not link to our google drive. I did decide to carry this on during the American leg.

I have never forced anyone to do this, I have only approached 1 person directly to see if they could record. The rest were all volunteers who saw my posts asking if anyone would do it and they all came to me on their own accord.

I very much understand the criticism on audio recording shows, however I want to look at this from not only a preservation effort but also as a way to make this show accessible to people who might for whatever reason not be able to attend as well as it being a way for you to go and listen to the show you attend again if you wanted to.

This being said I am no longer going to ask for specific shows and instead say that if you just happen to audio record a show and would be willing to let me post it then you can message me (@danrifics ) and i will post it. (this goes for the australian leg and the UK leg too) I will also at the end of the tour make a post with what’s missing and we’ll see if anyone recorded or not.

Finally I want to thank everyone for their continued support of the blog and its archiving efforts and I hope you all stick with me while we change things a little bit and I look forward to continuing to share content with you all and I can’t wait to reveal a few blog pages we’ve been working on!

- Bethanie

[dee4479]

Ferns a Doxxer? Vee is a pedophile and draws necrophila? Bullshit. I want some textual evidence and images provided otherwise, there’s weird shit going on and some people who hate on them done way worse than they did. I’m willing to go back and back an entire group if I have to, prove your point that that they did all this shit. As matter in fact it’s gotten bad where some of these people actually caused real harm to them, so come on I want the evidence otherwise if this is just pure bullying then you’re just straight up being lying asses.

Not to mention the fuck y’all doing too? Some of you guys actually do this shit and have no evidence, I personally know Fern myself and also the part of sexualizing and ‘pedophiles’ yet you are sexualizing a minor? Ferns literally a minor, not only someone accuse of them doxxing but also the fact we just saw that I provided got turn into this.

If you wanna prove a point, provide evidence but instead some people make it worse. Honestly where do you actually show how they’re a Doxxer and then proceed to sexualize them.

This person says all this and has no proof, some of you guys who believe this are unbelievable. How would you really know if this is all true? I want someone here to actually provide me it.

How about y’all listen to this person? Not only wasting your time and shit, you also don’t have again, EVIDENCE? Yet persists on saying she’s a groomer and shit while clearly there’s nothing brought to the evidence wall. So come on I need more.

Oh and it can be anyone right? Why would this person Racheal draw this, if you wanna prove a point of someone being a Pedophile and then someone for doxxing, yet you are shipping a grown person and a legitimate minor? So technically you’re the one who ever drew it or say sick shit like this deserve to be labeled as goddamn pedophile. So really it’s the group all combined are hitting the A Minor keynote.

Not to mention Faulty Illusion made literally Fern and those other people self harm themselves and this isn’t a joke especially how someone didn’t do anything wrong, yet no one questions that? Be better.

And I will not even provide images but also if Christopher was really a minor then, why would someone draw Vee in his belly being as the womb? She didn’t draw it yet someone drew that and with the drama, it just gets worse, people wanna prove Vee is a pedophile and do the sickening shit with her and Fern. Not to mention to Skellyweb, because of that, this is the dumbest fucking statement. So if you did draw it, and not sexual intent? Yet you drew it like that, what the fuck are you honestly saying? You can't draw that type of shit and say it wasn't intent, you're basically saying it was instinctual? Like if it wasn't for an intent, then why would you draw it. Not to mention, without Vee's consent. Funny right? And for the second part, you basically said Vee is supposedly impersonating and to supposedly make your criticism less valid? How does this make sense, when did this happen in your life? It shows you have some actual mindless thralls in your community that will believe anything and will attack her without any actual evidence of this. Creepy relationship too? Now we're making shit up. You're just shifting the blame for something you drew and get surprised it gets leaked out, so supposedly Vee revealed it yet there's instances you are known to make this type of shit. Why are you surprised? Impersonating a Minor and then making these weird comments doesn't also provide much because you clearly haven't actually had chemistry with her? I know her and she doesn't even do that at all. Stop being surprised someone saw this image too because you make weird shit, its deemed to come out.

Third, it's not even that easy. The fact that we have groups attacking one person, you could say stop and they'll still attack, that just shows how some of your mindless thralls go that far. Acting like its easy yet you don't try, so you're not also in that position and would be saying "OH I CAN"T JUST SAY STOP AND THEY WONT!!" Like you don't even think of someones shoes.

Calling everyone out in this image, not even worth a second to type in. But all these people maybe even more hating and yet none of y’all can single handedly provide anything, if you wanna bring something to the table and prove a point, stop turning up with a fucking empty plate you bring no contribution to the economy.

It’s especially known I’m not leaving out Fanatic Canon, that person is also being hated for being associated. You would attack anyone who’s associated, acting like they were a victim when it’s clear again, you don’t get no reason to be hating on Vee when you can’t give a reason or show the reason.

"Persons a kid, they don't deserve be stalk 24 yo woman!111" Vee isn't even 24? Do your fucking math right? She went to college for 4 years at 18, dumb as hell, she's 22, TWENTY TWO. Not to mention again, and AGAIN, you got groups attacking for blatant ass evidence thats basically cardboard. It doesn't matter if you're a group of kids or adults, maybe go outside or do something?? Play a fucking sport or do something, maybe read some fucking books while you're at it because you're no different than a mature person.

I want these groups to really confront me too, I wanna hear y’all and actually provide something. You attack a persons fanbase and have no actual motive, only just to hate, barking and no fucking bite. You have to be in big groups just to attack the littlest, lower than scum itself, and I’m sure this provides what those people are.

So really are you in a good standing point? The only differences is you’re just some pathetic rioters but no actual grit or anything to get a protest in. You take up a sign and when things don’t go your way you all the sudden start crying and harming people who didn’t do anything.

So really, I don’t give a shit if you’re a minor or an adult, the fact y’all banded together and do this nonsense just shows your no better than an actual mature person. I don’t ride anyone or no one, but it’s what to these people because you want to defend someone who’s clearly not in the wrong. So really, stop complaining when someone just ages a character up a little when they're 17 but no actual intentions with a minor. It's just diabolical literal artists are sexualizing real life people... but self-shipping is an issue? Get a fucking move on. Don't even try to impersonate Vee or Fern for evidence too, I know them personally, and I can just make them show their DM's! So come on.

Stand your ground, prove me wrong for those people.

[jazzy-art-time]

Thanks

CW: cooties

It’s that Turkey thanks day here where I’m at. So I figured I would be that cringe fucker who gets overly insightful on today for a change.

But I figured I would sit down and tap for a second for anyone who would glance over at me today.

This past year has been, a lot for me. Good n bad and stuff but.

I wanted to say thank you to my friends. My dear friends.

I don’t think I would be the man I am right now without you and your support.

Like literally, prolly wouldn’t have been Raymond without you. You helped me test out everything and become comfortable with becoming Raymond. I can never be thankful enough for that, I’m closer to who I am and want to be even. I cannot express my thanks enough for that.

You guys support my artwork and my characters so much. You guys let me yap for so long and you let me send so many paragraphs for hours about my shitty ass stories and OCs. You’ve listened to so much Jolene Bennet and Pinky BrainRot you deserve awards. It seems silly but it means a lot to me that you guys are willing to listen to me insanity. I’m not that interesting of a person, so my characters are all I’ve got going on, it just means a lot that you are willing to listen.

You have also had to bear witness to the Birth of Jarble as well as its continued development. Which is very special to me due to why I made Jarble to begin with. It means the world that I can feel comfortable sharing it, developing it, getting tips and bouncing ideas back and forth. Jarble went from a shitty AU I made to escape from everything into something I hold dear to me. It’s special now, it might have died out and fizzled. So thank you for helping me create something special. Also the fact that I’m willing to share my writings with you guys show how much I trust y’all, my writing sucks and you are the few who get to witness it. I will say however, fuck you for the sheer amount of Jeden emojis, he haunts me and you do this to me I’ll get you /silly

As well as you guys aren’t afraid to call me out on my shit. If I’m doing something wrong, if I’m being out of line or overreacting… you call me out. You come to me and talk and help me get better as a person.

You were in the trenches with me when I became a Aggressive, Distrustful person who snapped and was going crazy because I was being stalked. Helped me gain the courage to speak out when I got doxxed by Travis. Stuck with me when I had to change antipsychotic medications and I went absolutely batshit and had to go to the hospital. When I was stuck in bed for nearly two weeks because I was practically almost dying. You guys… for whatever reason. Stuck with me.

You didn’t have to stick around, I never would’ve judged you if you did. But you stuck around, you came to me and laid it all out on the table. You told me when I was being unreasonable or that I was hurting you with my actions. You helped me when you didn’t… really have to.

And you continue to help me, I’m a better person now and I know that. I don’t think I would’ve gotten as better as I am without you.

You support me, you help me when I’m lost or confused, you talk to me… you share Garfield things with me or if I’m upset you send a picture of your dogs or just.. you do so much for me.

I am forever thankful for everything. I’m not good at expressing emotions, I never have been. So perhaps it’s all just nonsense what I’m saying or maybe I’m repeating myself, I don’t know.

But thank you.

For everything.

I love you guys and I wish I could be better at explaining it… that way I’m not dropping a mile long scientific paragraph on you every few months

And a thank you for my Followers as well.

Which sounds like, cocky or something to say. I don’t know, feels weird standing here going “AND TO MY FOLLOWERS” but it’s hm.

ANYWAYS.

Thank you lot for sticking around!

Within the past year and a half I’ve… been different! I cut off all social stuff for the longest time and then went radio silent a lot posting wise. Almost all my blogs kinda went nonexistent. I deleted a lot.

And then I randomly went “hey guys look at this story I’m working on called Jarble. I will tell you absolutely nothing about it.”

But y’all still? Stuck around.

Which I know I’m just like, another guy on the dash posting stuff. So perhaps it isn’t that deep as I’m making it sound? I don’t know.

BUT REGARDLESS. You guys stuck around!

You guys watched as I went insane over a AU that I never said anything about. Which might’ve been annoying when you guys asked and I just never answered because I got self conscious lmaO. Yet you guys still showed interest and shared support!

When I decided to update my blogs again, welcomed me back and showed support when I expressed interest in doing stuff again.

Even welcomed me back when I decided to attempt to be social again and join discord servers! Which was… hard for me and a 1000% awkward! Cuz I went insane and then shuffled back like a fool. Yet! Here I am!

You guys keep supporting me, sending me asks and supporting me and my work despite it all

And I thank you for that! I appreciate it and it makes me feel special when you guys appear to show genuine interest in my dumb characters and stories…

I know I’m just another idiot on the feed, but it means a lot to me that you stick around and glance in my direction.

So all in all

Thank you guys.

To everyone.

End of cooties

Edit: also thanks to my fiancé I guess. Whatever. You’re sitting right across from me and I might throw a cracker at you. But you alright I guess. 🙄🙄 don’t choke on the Turkey BabyGirl

[baji-sideblog]

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Quinn Arburn

Treats & Punishments

Cw blackmailing (with videos of you two), copying genitalia

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Quinn tends to spoil you since you’re their jewel and must be spoiled for that. Plus they feel smug about you having a lot of gifts from them seeing as how they usually scent them before giving them to you, so their scent rubs off on you. Keeping you smelling like them more often because of that.

Wether it be random figures, games, or a new console they’re getting it for you. Especially a new console and games so you can play with them. Quinn also gives you a bunch of plushies too mostly dragon ones that they commission to look like them.

“Jewel I got you a new plushie! Huh? You’re running out of room for all of them you can always make a nest of out them. Or oh I know let’s go to the store and I’ll get you a bookshelf so you can fit the plushies on it!”

If you want they’ll take you flying some time on their back making sure to keep you safe. And in winter when it’s nice and cold they’ll keep you wrapped up and comfy so you’ll be nice and warm.

They’re always willing to do goofy stuff with their fire if you ask like using it to cook s’mores or other food. Or since they’re pretty fire resistant they’ll pick up any really hot food for you so you don’t have to worry about burning yourself. Plus if you want to get a piercing they’ll go with you and pay for it. (And most likely get one themself they really like them)

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

The types of punishments Quinn does are of a more social variety that can impact your life if you happen to do something bad in their eyes. They’re more relaxed and patient then Mandus or Rider, but you won’t be able to get away with as much like you can with Luka.

For context as a dragon Quinn has no real gender, dragons use magic to make sexual organs when they want to experience sex or to have kids. Because of that Quinn is able to make a vagina or any kind of dick you wish to experience. And if you ask they’ll copy anything you ask for but you’ll have to pay them back for copying something. Which could be a cute little kiss to allowing them to record you two making love.

And if you ever try to leave Quinn they’re not afraid of leaking out that video of you two together. Blackmailing you into staying with them. And if you trying to get the upper hand by threatening to dox them if they release it, they wouldn’t care because they already had accidentally dox themself a while back.

“Listen I’m not asking for much, just stay with me as my jewel and no one sees it my love. I don’t want to release it, I rather only keep it to myself to savor it forever. But if threatening to release it keeps you with me then it’s worth it.”

Quinn tends to be more manipulative then psychical with you. Guilt tripping you into behaving or even using their media following to keep track of you. Say you’re planning on going on a date Quinn comes up to you concerned saying you have to be careful since their fans very much know who you are and it’s been well established to them how much Quinn cares about you, so they’re remind you in a “worried” manner that if anyone sees you doing something it could hurt you. Since some fans don’t hesitate to try and protect their ships.

“Jewel all I’m saying is you should be careful after all you know just how crazy social media can be especially fans. So why not stay in with me and have fun instead of hanging out with whatever jerk you were planning on being with.”

And since they’re know social media real well they’ll look around for any dirt on potential rivals and blackmail them to stay away from you. And Quinn makes sure to store any information they have on you away for later in case anything happens between you two.

Quinn is a very loving towards their jewel, but if you happen to push things a little too far they won’t hesitate to use what they have against you.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[wonik1ss]

౨ৎ Stay Until 2 ? — kim minji

005. autopilot [ halfwritten ] | masterlist

taglist : @technicallyimportantsweets @juhyunsthirdwife @jjkills @kimakento @fluffyji @somedaydream @emphobics @zey1ltn @lovepjohootoa @takpayahtahu @nwjsenthusiast @baewonlove @aeriniee @mygfiswonyoung @heekkicr @jinsoulinator @addorations @ssoursss @klvarchives @yerimbrit @gayforalll @haerinsloverr @slowlydifferentbluebird @yawnzlvr @technicallyimportantsweets @juhyunsthirdwife @kimakento @deersteel @hannibangggg @popasi @rianosis @jkwsel @eternalgayshits @dearyujimin

as you giggled responding to minju’s comment you saw an incoming call. you automatically thought it was haerin since she just loves to random rant about her college work while you listen but when you answered you fell of your bed.

“fuck..!”

“you ok..?”. minji stared at the komatsa nana in hear. when minji got your voice meme and clicked it she felt her heart beat faster. you were just talking about minji shouldn’t bully sick person about her ramen choice but you sounded so attractive. your voice was raspy.. so raspy.

“I’m good just thought you were someone else?”

“your girlfriend?”. Minji dropped her phone on her bed and clamped her hands over her mouth. you chuckled.

“no just a friend I don’t have a girlfriend..”. minji’s heart beated faster.

��so uh.. how’s your streaming going?”

“nowhere I’m taking a few days off cause I’m sick”. minji was fucking simping over a sick persons voice.

“fuck I am down bad..”

“huh?”

“nothing”. you giggled and minji but her lip.

“do you find my deathly sick voice hot or something?”

“fuck no!”

“that was a little to fast”

“ok just a little! but all raspy voices are hot!”. you didn’t notice it but suddenly you were twirling your hair around your finger and smiling so so wide.

“your voice is hot too”

“huh”

“I’m not repeating myself”

“tell me more then..”

“fuck you want me to say?! I’m not letting you listen to this on your down time you weirdo”. as you went on her rant minji started to day dream. was your face round? we’re you short or tall? were your lips plum-

“minnie?”

“mm”

“do you want to play minecraft or not?”

“sure”. as you went on and on minji suddenly had a flash back.

“hyein-a turn that shit down”

“be nice!”. as minji drove in the ran away from with hyein’s school with sullyoon, hyein was watching a stream.

‘haerin what happens when I dox your senior grades?”. hyein giggled and minji rolled her eyes.

“you can watch someone dox someone else with the volume down! or watch it later!”

“but binnie is live it’s a different.. experience like I’m there with her”. minji looked through the rear view mirror and hyein’s eyes were glued to her screen.

minji shook her and got in the bed next to your as your dog jumped up and down on your minecraft bed. binsuya.. binnie.. must be a coincidence right..?

“so we build a farm tomorrow?”. minji’s brain on auto pilot answered but subconsciously she was still thinking about the imagine of you. hanni was right.. she really was down bad..

[claires-thoughts-onthe-mundane]

Today, Claire’s Thoughts are on…

Kpop (specifically the ridiculousness people making fun of others for liking it)

I admit that before I got into any groups myself, I didn’t see the appeal in listening to K-pop. It’s music that you can’t understand unless you hear the music, so why listen to it unless you’re gonna be reading the lyrical translations every single time?

Granted, I indulged in a little bit of Butter and Dynamite by BTS every now and again, sometimes if I really had nothing else I felt like listening to I might’ve let How You Like That by Blackpink play in the background while I did something else. But I didn’t see why anyone would be a full-blown fan. (Note: I personally never bullied or made fun of people. Just plain didn’t see the point.)

Then one of my best friends and I had a sleepover at her house. At one point we were bored and decided to watch some music videos of bands we liked. She asked me if I liked K-pop and I kinda awkwardly grimaced and said I don’t really listen to it outside of the aforementioned songs. She asked me to just try listening to one song from a different group, and she put on the MV for CASE 143 by Stray Kids. Long story short: I’m now a fan of Stray Kids, Enhypen, P1Harmony, and several other groups that I didn’t even know existed pre-sleepover.

Of course, getting into these groups meant I wanted to consume as much media around them as possible. And with all good, there must be bad.

While scrolling through various edits and funny clips of some of my favorite idols, I repeatedly came across videos of antis* making fun of kpop fans for liking the music. It was usually the same stuff over and over — “you don’t even understand them”, “I can’t even tell them apart”, “they all sound the same”, etc. etc. *(Anti = anti-fan, a hater)

As mentioned before, at one point I, too, didn’t see the point. Still, I kept this opinion mostly to myself and never once did I laugh or mock people who did like it. But these antis were being genuinely hateful. They would insult the way idols looked, sounded, dressed, even going as far to say some shouldn’t be alive or shouldn’t be in the groups they earned their spot in**. (**#riizeis7)

But it wasn’t idols that were the focal point of this straight-up cyberbullying. It was the fans of said idols. Antis would go out of their way to harass and make fun of the fans, many often making entirely new accounts solely dedicated to making fun of the fans. Many victims of the cyberbullying were driven off of social media after being malevolently bullied, harassed, stalked, and even doxxed. I’ve heard rumors of some fans being driven to… worse fates, but I’m unsure if any of those rumors are true as of December 15, 2024.

Whether those rumors are true or not, I find myself asking “what’s the point?” Except this time, instead of asking it about K-pop itself, I’m asking it about bullying others because of liking it. What good does it do? Does them listening to K-pop even affect you? Does bullying the idols and their fans make you feel better about yourself somehow?

Really the answers to these questions are as follows: no good, no, and most likely not.

All this to say I cannot fathom why people see the need to hate others simply for liking a kind of media that they don’t like. It’s childish and will get nobody anywhere in life.

To quote James A. Janisse for the second time on this account, Be Good People.

[mushroomwillow]

Random note about my psychiatrist I’ve had sense June

1. He’s the first black psychiatrist I’ve had. I’ve seen idk how many over years and years. Not a single bipoc ever. That’s. Not ok.

2. I was super anxious asking how to pronounce his last name, and he got really excited about it because I guess people just don’t ask ever (I’m not shocked but it does make me sad) (I don’t want to somehow dox him so no I won’t he putting his name)

3. His office always smells SO GOOD. Idk how to describe the incense they use but it’s very warm and comfy. And not overpowering. Fuckin, I want my whole house to smell like it but I think it’s a cultural thing so I haven’t asked about it :-/

4. He has a thick accent, and is always late to our appointments and we lament over our kid/s not wanting to go to school/daycare and how much we wish we could stay home too

Also like, the first psychiatrist who’s actually listened to me when I’ve said I was misdiagnosed at 15. I’m not joking. I’ll be 34 on Tuesday. He’s. The. First. One. So he’s treating me how my therapist and my primary have suggested, and *gasp* to neither his, theirs, or my shock, I’m slowly getting things figured out treatment wise. Wild.

Anyway

If anyone has a way to ask someone who’s most def in a professional role “hey I love the incense you use in your office and would literally eat it if I could where can I buy enough to drown myself in it?!” Without sounding crazy that’d be great

[causenessus]

hi my dearest loveliness !! good evening afternoon OR morning I HOPE YOUR DAY IS GOING WELL TODAY!! AND I HOPE YOUVE EATEN!! i literally just woke up (it’s 3pm…. my parents literally watched me come out of my room and were like ???)(you just woke up???)LMFAO BUT BUT i’m back to work tomorrow so i wanted to sleep in a lot today(I HAVE A 9-5:30 RIGHT OFF THE BAT)(MY WORK HATES ME??)but omg i just saw the ask from sav(sorry am i allowed to call her that too)(IM SORRY IDK) and i was like AWWWW “you and your mango anon” I AM NESS’ MANGO ANON idk why i thought it was so cute and sweet like YOU GIGGLE AND READ THEM?? THATS SO CUTE?? IM GONNA EXPLODE?? but let’s all yap together this is yap central(a safe place for yappers)

omg last night i got so many notifs if you answering every ask bat to bat and I FELT SO BAD BECAUSE I WROTE A LOT YESTERDAY BUT YOU STILL ANSWERED EACH ASK WITH LIKE SO SO MUCH PASSION??(idk if that’s the right word) but you always answer each ask with ur heart like non of it is halfassed(sorry am i allowed to swear)(IVE BEEN REFRAINING FROM SWEARING BECAUSE IDK I DONT THINK IVE SEEN YOU SWEAR OUTSIDE YOUR SMAUS???)(or idk i’m crazy i think i’m crazy)

I WOULD SHARE WHAT CONCERT IT WAS LIKE I WAS GOING TO but i was like omg i’m gonna dox myself LOL BUT actually you know what’s so funny i don’t even live in the states(LORE DROP) ALSO DECLAN MCKENNA?? THATS SO COOL THAT YOU GOT TO SEE HIM i think he’s on tour again right now?? or just performing right now (I THINK) im pretty sure i saw on ticketmaster! i would 100% go but literally my bank account is decreasing a little too much for my liking and it’s time to lock in and go ultra saving mode LOL BUT OMG MITSKI??? stop it if i was rich i would 100% fly over to your state and buy tickets for you and me and we could go together and have our losing dogs moment(on repeat by eggy always in my heart)(literally one of my fav smaus LOL)

ness i will read every single part of your response LITERALLY I WILL READ AND ABSORB EVERY PART SO do not worry your pretty little head(as i said this i imagined myself tapping your head with a pretty little fairy stick)BUT OMG ME AND YOU WORKING AT ILLEGAL AGES(actually actually hold on)okay because i started working my retail job when i was 15 but i was like a week away from turning 16 but they accepted me anyways? idk it’s kind of silly but i remember saying i was 15 but turning 16 in a “few days” (i think it was a week and a bit) and they were like mmmm okay! here’s your training days blah blah blah LOL listen i really wanted a job… i always felt bad asking my parents for money so i was like you know what ILL get my own money(here i am 2-3 years later still trapped in retail)also i totally get the hostess thing because my friend works at olive garden as a hostess and like it SOUNDS SO STRESSFUL? because like… you’re kinda in control of how much tips a person gets? (if that makes sense) and it just feels ITS TOO STRESSFUL FOR ME TO FANTOM LIKE i cant i feel like im too much of a people pleaser where id just be like oh! oh you don’t want this table? okay! oh i have you too many tables? i’m sorry! my bad! let me do it! ALSO IDK i hate fixed schedules like i like the random rotation every week LOL like it’s kinda a surprise!! like omg what days am i working today type of thing you know! BUT OMG THEM KEEPING YOU ON STANDBY IS CRAZY AFTER YOU QUIT LOL they love you so much they want to keep you <3 i can’t blame them <3 ness is a very lovable person <3 but restaurant environments are different from retail idk how you do it like I APPAUD YOU AND EVERY OTHER RESTAURANT WORKER because like dealing with hangry people everyday like… i already deal with impatient customers which make me wanna pull my hair like i remember one time during this rush we had everyone on cash like everyone on the tills right and this guy came up to my till and he’s like “yall need more workers” LIKE CANT YOU SEE EVERYONE ON THE TILLS RIGHT NOW??WE ARE TRYING OUR BEST !! and i was deadass like “haha sorry….. would you like a bag for 50 cents?”

ALSO YOURE SO BUSY WHAT?? your schedule is so jacked up HOW DO YOU DO IT??? like literally uni + job AND THEATRE??? and also the fact that you have more than one job?? PLS PLS PLS EAT AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF LOVE YOURE GONNA BURN OUT </3

omg if i worked lights with you it would’ve been so so so much better like i’m not discrediting the light people i worked with BUT it was the fact that they were a year younger right so they didn’t really know what they were doing since all our light crew graduated and for some reason people didn’t like doing lights as much? so they were just first years doing lights and i had to help out a bunch and kind of guide them BCUZ IDK WHY MY TECH TEACHER DIDNT DO IT RIGHT so i had to focus on sound PLUS helping the lights people which i don’t really mind too much when we’re just having rehearsals but like during shows i was a little more stressed because they weren’t that confident and was always asking just to make sure and it was 100% not their fault of course but I WAS STILL STRESSED and doing my hardest to help him while trying to also keep track of where the play was(sorry very messy)(i too am like you and i do NOT proof read these whatsoever) IF I COULD I WOULD DROP EVERYTHING AND FLY THERE !! we could be the light + sound duo because i literally miss my tech days like i lowkey thought about doing it in uni but IDK WHY I DIDNT !! I SHOULDVE !! also another suna smau would heal me (LMFAO NO PRESSURE) BUT I LITERALLY LOVE ALL OF INARIZAKI?? like they all have my heart(especially kita and osamu like oh my god)BUT OH MY GOD IF YOU DO I THINK ILL CRY LIKE “OMG THATS ME GUYS” “I AM MANGO ANON !!!” BUT you have sooooo much stuff lined up so DO NOT WORRY TOO MUCH!! what you’ve been giving right now (TRY AGAIN AND TONICS <333) is already so good like the idea and concepts AND IM SO EXCITED FOR THEM TOO AHH

THE CAST NOT BEINF ABLE TO PROJECT THEIR VOICES ARE SO REAL !!! maybe i’m just saying this because i only did plays in high school right so it was a bunch of kids right but it was soooo frustrating because like SPEAK UP but also the fact that some cast got better mics than others? like tell me why i can’t hear this lead but i can hear this random person playing a citizen like?? BUT LITERALLY WHEN MICS DIE I LITERALLY WANNA JUST FALL TO THE FLOOR LIKE and the director is just like “keep going” LIKE DONT KEEP GOING WHAT? I CANT HEAR? like i literally feel like i have to focus my energy like some type of anime character to my ears just to hear a SNIPPET of what they’re saying but then sometimes i get in trouble for missing cues </3 LIKE I’M SORRY IT ISNT MY FAULT LIKE MAYBE GET BETTER SPEAKERS AND MICS?? also not you literally running the whole tech crew like rewiring the motherboard and climbing stuff like ness mvp tech girl LOL BUT I GET NOT WANTING TO THINK ABOUT THOSE TIMES LIKE i swear all tech/cast crew environments are SO toxic like i literally remember one of the cast fainting because like we literally got no breaks at all so she was probably overwhelmed with the lighting and everything else then that’s when the director was like ok… let’s take a break like YOU THINK??

ALSO YOURE SO RIGHT if the previous men i’ve talked to is on tumblr reading cutesy little haikyuu x femreader stuff THEN THATS ANOTHER PROBLEM(NO STOP I LITERALLY GIGGLED SO HARD WHEN YOU SAID THAT LOL)(everytime i read your responses im always smiling and giggling like i always reread it too LOL) but omg ness… the quarantine online gaming breakout season is such a canon event like BECAUSE ME TOOOOO LOL(we are so soulmates) mine was a mix of minecraft and roblox and I LITERALLY MET A WHOLE GROUP ONLINE TOO IT WAS CRAZY the ptsd flashbacks is so real but THATS SO GIRLBOSS OF YOU LIKE YES!! CALL MEN OUT ON THEIR SHIT!!(sorry swearing again) BE NO MANS PEACE!! i will literally find him and politely beat him up for you <333 TIME FOR LORE DROP AND IF THE PERSON READS THIS THEN ??? WELL ??? oh well LOL but anyways so i was in this little online group idk i kind of just found them through twitter and i was like WHY NOT so i became friends with this guy he went by socks(discord names are so real)and like we got really close right and like he was the only person i really VC’d with (AND AND TO BE FAIR I THINK ITS BECAUSE WE WERE LIKE THE BABIES OF THE GROUP) like we were the same age while everyone else was like 19-25ish now(idk what i was doing hanging out with them as a minor but oh well)(i’m 18 now so it’s ok!)(but i literally don’t talk to any of them now LOL)but i remember this one specific conversation where he was like teaching me spanish?? because i don’t know i was teaching him viet too so it was just a silly little thing and i translated it(this was through texts like i still have the screenshot LOL) and he basically confessed to me through text in spanish right then afterwards they were like JK JK JK!! IDK idk if it was real or not but we drifted a lot after that so idk! sock if ur out there !! im sorry !! to be fair though they didn’t give me a chance to reply because i had to translate it then when i came back to the chat they were like IM JK IM JK SO idk! I GUESS WE’LL NEVER KNOW!! also i will def report back when i get a poke bowl but im very very picky about the way i eat raw fish bevause sometimes it’s okay but when there’s an overwhelming amount i kind of get scared and im like hmmm maybeeee.. not this time… LOL It really depends for me!! but maybe ill try the imitation crab one if i see it!

AND UR SO RIGHT ONE DAY I WILL COME TO YOU AND I WILL BE UR GUARD DOG AT WORK !!! i’m glad yesterday was better! hopefully it keeps getting better, i will fight off the bad omens for you ness i will stand in the front lines fighting them off I COULD NEVER BE DISAPPOINTED IN YOU but i will be a tiny tiny bit upset because I WANT YOU TO EAT WELL AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF !! eggs and toast is so real but don’t worry :( a meal is a meal and you did good by getting up and making yourself something small! little steps are okay, i will be here along the way so don’t worry! take your time <333 I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT REST OF YOUR DAY!! (it literally took me an hour to write this because now it’s 4:30)(BUT i did eat in between writing) I HAD RICE AND CHICKEN YIPPPPEE!! i had to take a little break to eat then i continued writing LOL(but so real on saying ill go back but you never do because … me too)(i’m too lazy to look back on what i wrote so ill just trust myself) (mango anon loves you very much pls take care of yourself) (ALSO) i just realized i could make the font smaller (thank you again sav for the idea) so it would be easier to scroll pass these LOL BUT ANYWAYS MAKE SURE TO EAT AND REST WELL !!! xoxoxoxo

HELLO MY LOVE!!! MY DAY WAS PRETTY OKAY!! BESIDES THE CAR CRISIS OFC 😭😭 AND PLEASE WAKING UP AT 3PM IS SO REAL I'VE DONE THAT BEFORE </33 AND ESPECIALLY IF U WORK A 9-5:30 TOMORROW DEFINITELY GET ALL THE SLEEP YOU CAN GET!! REST UP AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF PLS <3 MAKE SURE TO DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND BRING PLENTY WITH YOU TOMORROW AND PLEASE EAT!! and don't apologize at all you're def okay to call sav sav as well (i'm pretty sure!!) AND YOU ARE MY MANGO ANON <33 AND I LOVE U SM!! AND I LOVE UR PARANTHESES LMAO THEY'RE SO CUTE <3 YES YAP CENTRAL!!

AND omg mango anon i just have to tell you like how honored i am <3 like i feel so seen by you!! the way you see the passion in my writing and like notice that i don't curse outside of my writing pls :(( my face is literally going :((( rn /pos i try not to curse outside of my writing just bc it's not my thing!! but ofc you can and like sometimes i still do!! definitely do whatever you want AND SORRY FOR ALL THE NOTIFS YESTERDAY AND TODAY SINCE I'M DOING THE SAME THING LMAO 😭 i'm the one that lets them bunch up so dw about them at all!! and mango anon i genuinely love talking and replying to you so so much AND I'M REALLY SO THANKFUL FOR EVERY ASK FROM ANYONE SO OFC I'LL BE ANSWERING IT WITH PASSION!! I GET WHAT YOU MEAN ENTIRELY AND I'M GLAD THAT GETS ACROSS WELL <3 I JUST APPRECIATE YOU ALL SM <3

AND YOU DEF DON'T HAVE TO SAY WHAT CONCERT YOU WENT TO!! I WAS WORRIED ABOUT LIKE THAT DOXXING U OR SOMETHING bc i had no idea you didn't live in the states!!! i definitely automatically assumed that and that maybe u had went to a different state since we were in the same timezone for a little bit but that makes total sense and that was my bad for assuming 😭😭 BUT AA YES!! I'D LOVE TO SEE HIM AGAIN AND MAYBE I WILL <3 LIKE HIS TICKETS DEF ARE NOT BAD PRICING AND HE'S AMAZING!!! i'm just insanely broke and like ik he's touring with sabrina carpenter rn or something??? which is super cool and good for him!! and sabrina's cool but i don't think i'd enjoy or be able to afford her concerts 😭 and that's okay!! maybe my tickets were cheap the time i went to see him bc it was a little more niche <3 AND AAA YES I WISH WE COULD SEE MITSKI TOGETHER!! the entire crowd would be in tears over i bet on losing dogs like that's our national anthem FRFR!!!!

I WAS IMAGINING THE PRETTY LITTLE FAIRY STICK WITH U thank you for tapping my head <33 AND I ALSO READ ABSORB EVERYTHING U TELL ME SO PLEASE YAP AS MUCH AS YOU WANT!! AND DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT SMALL FONT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO <3 YOU DO WHATEVER YOUR PRETTY LITTLE HEART DESIRES!!! (i am giving ur heart a kiss rn mwah <3) BUT PLEASE THE ILLEGAL JOBS FR SOME PLACES BE CRAZY AND THEY STILL GET AWAY WITH IT!!! BUT YOU GET IT EXACTLY like at the restaurant i often work at we often just have a rotation with no server sections bc it's pretty small (i'd only be forced to do sections when i worked with my manager who made me want to DIE and made me cry once i literally ran out and cried next to a steakhouse across from us) and so basically i just sit people at random tables (i always ask them like "is this table okay?" and i'm not really asking them like girl i have better things to be doing than escorting you around this restaurant trying to see what table tickles your fancy the best. i just ask them so i don't sound super forward like "THIS IS YOUR TABLE SUCK IT UP." yk??) and whoever's turn it is next, they get it so i'll tell them like "table three for two people" so like I REALLY DO NOT CONTROL WHAT CUSTOMERS A SERVER GETS BUT THEY ALL COME AND COMPLAIN AT ME FOR HOW BAD THEIR TABLES ARE (probably bc they're trying to guilt trip me or be passive aggressive) BUT LIKE WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT?? I'M NOT PURPOSELY GIVING PEOPLE BAD OR GOOD TABLES LIKE 😭😭 and i'm sure it's even worse at places like olive garden which are way bigger! and you have to work with other hosts and more people so best of luck to your friend she's doing amazing <3 AND YOU GET IT!! LIKE IT'D PROABABLY BE NICE TO HAVE A FIXED SCHEDULE BUT ALSO I COULDN'T DO IT I LOVE BEING SCHEDULED ON RANDOM DAYS EVERY WEEK I NEVER KNOW WHAT'S COMING also the guy who told you you guys needed more workers??? THANK YOU SIR FOR STATING THE OBVIOUS!! I HAD NO IDEA, LET ME, JUST A PERSON WHO WORKS HERE, NOT A MANAGER OR ANYTHING, GO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!! IN FACT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST PUT ON AN APRON AND START HELPING SINCE WE NEED MORE WORKERS!! CONGRATS YOU'RE HIRED!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH MANGO ANON 😭 I ALREADY FEEL SO BURNT OUT I'M REALLY HOPING THINGS WILL CALM DOWN AFTER SEPTEMBER IG (WHEN I STOP WORKING TWO JOBS) OR BY NOVEMEBER AT LEAST (WHEN THEATRE IS OVER) BUT WE'LL SEE </3 i'm sure things will continue to come up but i fr just want to lay down and sleep until 3pm like u did today 😔😔 that sounds so nice </3

AND PLEASE WHY IS YOUR TECH THEATRE STORIES THE SAME AS MINE like i was a run and props kid until my school's musical sophomore year where we got these three boys who all wanted to do tech and we had too many run and props kids so i was like "yk what. let me go to lights so that hopefully u three can be together" which didn't even work out bc one of the boys got thrown into lights with me while the other two were on run and props but were on opposite wings LMAO and so that was my first show doing lights which i did board op for because it was also our last show of the year which was also our like senior who knew everything about lights' last show so after that she GRADUATED and i was the one left to figure everything out 😭😭 and then the year after we lost our senior that knew everything about sound so my senior year was a STRUGGLE omg...bad times. but then i left that department a mess bc i could no longer care. like that lights kid wanted my job so badly? fine, fend for urself bro i'm not teaching u anything (sorry i am spiteful against that kid still LMAO) I ALSO THOUGHT ABOUT DOING TECH IN UNI!! my junior year i was fully planning to go to school to get a bfa for lighting design (new grounds was such a self insert for me LMAO) and my tech director literally pushed me to do it but then i decided i really did not want to be in these toxic stressful environments for the rest of my life 😭 BUT IF I HAD YOU!!! I DEF ACTUALLY WOULDN'T MIND <3 WE WOULD BE THE BEST DUO EVER I KNOW IT!! WE'D BOTH KNOW HOW TO DO OUR JOBS AND THAT WOULD BE LITERALLY GROUND BREAKING!! i mean even just reading ur stories i could feel the stress of like managing EVERYTHING i am so sorry for u mango anon but i am with u completely and from one tech mother to another, thank u for ur services 🫡 (i say tech mother bc WOMEN IN STEM!! in my entire four years of high school our top of the mill techies were always girls until we had this one run and props guy ruin it 🙄 he's actually the same guy who i used to like and the one who my mutual friend tried to get us to go to prom together but like i would NEVER UGHGHGH sorry he's also so frustrating to deal with i need to stop thinking about those times and this is exactly why i didn't actually go into theatre for school LMAOO) BUT YES AAA!! I WILL UPDATE YOU ON THE SUNA TECH SMAU AND I LOVE ALL OF INARIZAKI TOO <33333 haruichi furudate really put his whole budget into that team like please everyone on there is so pretty and beautiful and amazing and pookie shaped i love them sm <33 AND LOWKEY i was feeling like a stage manager reader (probably usually audio head but is stage managing this show) x lights head suna...bc i think that'd just be a crazy dynamic of her lowkey being in a higher position than him and he's just teasing and messing with her the whole time..BUT IDK and ik like theatre works differently in college but THIS IS MY WORLD AND WRITING SO I'LL DO WHAT I WANT!! i also have absolutely nothing actually planned out for the smau so who even knows LMAO THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME TO TAKE MY TIME </3 THERE'S DEFINITELY SO MUCH I NEED TO DO AND TOO LITTLE TIME UEFBIEWIOEGLN

BUT I'M GLAD U HAD THE SAME EXPERIENCES WITH PEOPLE NOT STRUGGLING we did this one horror play (which was SUCH a mess. okay let me just say this. our stage manager full on just gave up like halfway thru and would sit next to me reading vampire books and so same lights kid that kept trying to steal my job decided that it was "UP TO HIM" to save the show HIS WORDS EXACTLY I REMEMBER HEARING ABOUT THIS when literally the entire show was going fine and so basically he was like overthrowing our stage manager and was taking it upon himself to stage manage instead and give cues and just OMG THAT SHOW WAS A MESS BUT ANYWAY) and our main character just would NOT project like she was always cranky the musical we did that year she would just not sing or talk and we were like bro...ur in a musical BUT ANYWAY she wouldn't project we literally ended up hanging a mic and putting a little speaker in the booth so we could hear her bc like it was so important that we heard her lines but we couldn't when we were in a booth behind four windows and a closed door 😭😭

AND HELP YOUR ONLINE STORIES??? I GIGGLED READING ABOUT HIM TEACHING YOU SPANISH AND YOU TEACHING HIM VIET BUT ALSO THE ENTIRE FRIEND GROUP BEING OLDER WHEN YOU WERE A MINOR WAS CRAZY BUT I CAN'T EVEN JUDGE BC THAT WAS ME TOO 😭😭 I FEEL LIKE THAT'S HOW IT ALWAYS IS FOR ME I'M LIKE ALWAYS ONE OF THE YOUNGEST PEOPLE IN A FRIEND GROUP but i cannot imagine what that guy was thinking (i LOVE DISCORD NAMES HOLD ON LET ME GO FIND THE NAME OF MY GUY i think he changed it bc it's froge now...but ANYWAY IT WAS SOMETHING LAME AND SO WAS HIS ROBLOX USER IT WAS PROBABLY SOMETHING LIKE DARK KNIGHT IDK) but i cannot imagine the stress socks was going thru </33 i bet he sent that and then u were like "oh let me go translate it!" and then he was like "OMG SHE DIDN'T RESPOND AND SHE WENT OFFLINE SHE HATES ME" and just flipped and said "jk" bc THERE'S NO WAY THAT WAS JUST A JOKE LIKE U DO NOT TEACH PEOPLE CONFESSIONS LIKE DID THE TAMING OF THE SHREW TEACH U PEOPLE NOTHING THAT IS SO OLD SCHOOL!! (i also never proofread these and just go on tangents and for that, i am sorry </3)

BUT I ALSO DON'T LIKE RAW FISH DW AT ALL!! like they have a hawaiian poke bowl too or something with all raw tuna and i'm like...yeah i'm good actually... and so my only other choice is imitation crab unfortunately 😭 BUT I HOPE YOU FIND SOMETHING GOOD AND LIKE IT!!

MANGO ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND IT WAS SO GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU <3 I ATE A BAGEL HALFWAY THROUGH THIS AS WELL (you can probably tell when i started eating it bc i was only typing with my left hand and probably didn't use as many crying emojis for a bit LMAO) AND I LOVE TALKING TO YOU!! I LOVE YOU <3 AND I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL!! I LOVE CHICKEN AND RICE AND I WILL MAKE SURE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF AS LONG AS YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!! DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SHIFT TOMORROW!! <3

[petitjury]

I was tagged by the wonderful and talented @squimp to do this tag meme and It’s so fun YESSS THANKKKSS HAVI!!

three ships: 

Number one. Jiles

No. two: this version of Jiles

3. Me and the baguette I fondled in the bread aisle at Sobeys

first ship: 

Jesse and Lukas from Minecraft Story Mode. LISTEN when Minecraft: Story Mode came out, I was BIG into that shit. I bought all the episodes on my iPad Mini. I was insane about it. I chose the male Jesse and always thought his thing with Lukas was weird as hell. It turned into a whole thing where I became obsessed with their romance and drew them as anthropomorphic dogs and daydreamed about them to YouTube animation memes. This is them btw.

last song i listened to: 

BARBARIC BY BLUR!!!

I know it got mixed reviews, but The Ballad of Darren is such a wonderful album.

currently reading:

FAWK I’m really good at starting books but bad at finishing them. I’ve been working through Unruly by David Mitchell for a while now, as well as Forensics by Val McDermid. I really like them both. I’m also reading a book by a work colleague and like  I don’t want to dox him or myself but it’s so good and has actually been gaining some traction recently. Really proud!!

currently watching: 

BBC Ghosts and Horrible Histories

relationship status:

Hi I love my girlfriend @/selkiemail

current obsessions: 

Idk if my literal profession counts but I’m forever obsessed with the art and nuance of newspapers. (kyaa) but also Blur and that era of britpop rn.

Also-also recently at work I’ve been writing a lot of city council-related stories and it’s been fucked but I’ve been enjoying that, too, in a really masochistic way. I like how the systems work and guys it’s so awful I'm shuitting the fuck up

currently craving:

A rum and coke which sounds bad but it’s late-late on a Friday. Cheese also.

fave colour: UGLY DESATURATED BLUE

Tagging:

NO ONE but you can if you want. i was just happy to do this thanks again havi

[oh-my-damn]

Wow. You're sure putting in a lot of time and effort into a man you claim not to like. A normal person, with a normal, rational brain, would simply walk away and pay him no mind. Say you're jealous and go because girlie, it's embarrassing as fuck and so many blogs on here laugh at you behind the scenes. There's a whole ass group chat dedicated to just laughing at you and your friend's nonsense. That's how embarrassing you, and your friends, are. ///

Okay. Here we go.

First: this is absolutely not about jealousy. Bringing up problematic behavior and people needs to happen. Here’s the best part: you don’t like what’s being said, so you probably are part of the fucking problem.

@oh-my-damn has done nothing but listen and share experiences POC, myself included, have had with this, and why our feelings are the way they are. We may not agree on real or PR, but that doesn’t affect shit between us because we are fucking adults who can have grown ass conversations.

What she’s done, just by listening and not speaking over POC voices and experiences is way more than other mods on here have done. She posts the food and the bad. And if you’re uncomfortable with that, you’re part of the fucking problem.

Do you really think she nor anyone else who is friends with her actually care that there’s a ducking group chat made just to talk shit? No. Wanna know why? You probably don’t, but I’m still going to tell you.

It’s because she and her friends address the shit talking head on. There are no passive aggressive posts or asks, they don’t need to go on anon to say their piece. They talk about it to and in front of the people that cause the fucking issues in this fandom. Creating a group just to shit talk cause you’re too fucking scared or hypocritical to actually say it outright is being a fucking coward and a child.

Run back to your fucking group chat. You belong there. And trust, that’s not a good thing. Get the fuck on and outta here with this bullshit

Listen. Y'all can make as many group chats about me as you fucking want. Y'all can even try to blame me for doxxing, or talking shit, or being jealous, or being a hater, or whatever the fuck you want.

At the end of the day, I'm here doing me. I'm living my fucking life, I come on here when I have time, but otherwise I go to Law School (yes, you read that right. Keep that in mind next time you want to harrass, honeys. Oh, and that's not even my first degree. It is my second one. So yeah, come suck my dick), I write occasionally about characters or storylines that intrigue me, and I talk to my friends (and also people who are more than friends but I digress), and SOMETIMES I speak about topics that MATTER. They matter to a lot of people and they SHOULD matter to you. And the reason they probably don't, is because you're a bigoted racist. There, I said it.

Fucking hell. Make that fucking group chat. I hope you even put my pfp as your fucking cover photo. I hope you name it "Mandy's Hate Squad". I hope you talk about me all day.

ALL DAY. TALK ABOUT ME ALL DAY.

I am proud that I, little old me who started a blog without even knowing how to fucking use tumblr, am on your mind enough that you NEED A WHOLE ENTIRE CHAT TO DISCUSS ME AND WHAT I DO.

God. What an honor.

I will be handing out headshots and autographs soon.

Stay tuned for my con dates!

And @adulting-sucks? I love you. Thank you for being you, always ❤️

Oh, and I also want to add... That this entire ask from the original anon was created to, once again, DEFLECT. from the REAL ISSUES. Because that's what the Defenders do. They are apologists of REAL SHIT THAT SHOULD NOT BE EXCUSED. LIKE RACISM. AND ANTI-SEMITISM. AND FATPHOBIA.

I am sure they don't understand what it means when people start excusing that kind of shit. But luckily a lot of us do.

So fuck them.

Come suck my big sweaty balls you losers 🥰😘

[lucyandthepen]

i’m going to say this now because it was actually my birthday today and i got a really annoying comment on one of my fics and now i’m just EXTRA peeved bc someone went out of their damn way to ruin a nice day when they could’ve not said anything about whatever they were crying about.

I don’t care if you don’t agree that writing kpop fanfiction is something integral to the fandom experience. the scenarios and portrayals are 100% fictional. i don’t actually believe mark lee is a hot barista; i know very well that he’s out there doing something i know nothing about and that’s his fucking business LMAO i’m not pretending to know about his life or his deepest thoughts. but idols and celebrities always project images that cater to fandom generated content and idols are HIGHLY aware of this. they know their fans like to ship them in fics, so they do fanservice of a similar nature to fuel fandom generated content. there’s nothing inherently creepy about writing about / fantasizing about your in real life crush as long as you aren’t acting on your perversions out of turn either like … what are u talking about ???

i really don’t have to fucking sit here and prove anything but i’ve published a whole paper in an academic journal about the roles of RPF in fandom spaces and in the commercial side of kpop as well. i don’t have to fucking take the time to drag out all the research i’ve done just to tell someone who randomly came onto my blog from reading fucking jujutsu kaisen reader insert fanfiction (??????????????? like if you’re not into it, why the fuck are you here???) to go away and mind their own business.

it honestly appalls me that there are people in the world who are so desperate for an argument they’ll say shit about what other people like. the internet has become such a quick avenue for people to get on their moral high horses about issues that sincerely aren’t that deep. mark lee isn’t ever going to find my blog and be like dam this chick is wack like??? there is sincerely no harm in rpf as long as you’re aware of the fictional portrayals of people ??????? nothing is ever so deep???

the thing i can’t stand with these keyboard warriors is how they just don’t check their own logic either. as per my research back in my undergrad i know fanfiction in and of itself is highly contended because in the context of “respect” it attempts to undermine the author’s own work. thats actually why anne rice has a tendency to attack and dox her fans who write fanfiction — they’re breaking copyright law lmao. by that logic you’re also disrespecting gege akutami by sexualizing gojo satoru, and you’re also breaking some delicate copyright laws. double whammy. THAT i’ve also done quite a bit of research into!

but i’m never gonna make that point because that’d make me a hypocrite AND i like to do this amazing thing where i mind my own damn business!!!!!!!!!! like i don’t care???? the internet is a place where people in the same fandoms can meet and enjoy fan-generated content. stop trying to fucking dictate what other people do then tell them to “get help” as if there’s something ill with what we’re doing lol.

if you’re not comfortable with it, don’t read!!! it boggles me that you actually sat there fuming like “oh my god this random blog i’ve never heard of before has a story i just find disgusting im gonna say something as if what ill say will make them change their minds and repent!!!!”

there are a Lot Of Things i don’t like seeing but i just scroll! its so much easier than leaving an opinion no one fucking asked for. and if you have a problem with rpf, don’t just take it up with me — see your whole argument through and attack everyone who’s ever written rpf!

i’m just gonna say this one more time — if you don’t like what i’m putting out, don’t read. if you want to tell me something about how wrong i am or how badly i write — i don’t care. i don’t have to prove myself to anyone, and i’m not going to listen if i don’t agree, so don’t bother wasting both our times lmao.

lucy out.

[moon-beam-pie]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

thanks @dearcmurphy for the tag!

1. are you named after anyone?

no, but am thinking of using a new name (Zero) which is also not named after anyone but has the added bonus of sharing with a fictional character (Star Trek Prodigy) & Gerard Way song

2. when was the last time you cried?

probably today or yesterday I cry very often, in fact I’m tearing up just thinking about the act of crying lmaoooo. don’t remember the last time I like bawled my eyes out but it would have been in the past week probs

3. do you have kids?

Noooo way I’m only 22 and very single haha; I would not be a healthy parent and no child deserves that

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

Probably, but not an excessive enough amount for me to notice it?

5. what sports do you play/have played?

I played basketball and did martial arts as a kid, but I don’t think either were to a particularly high level, although I did get invited to the black belt club at my studio (not an actual black belt but was very dedicated) - had to stop martial arts when I was about 9 due to breaking my arm a few times and them moving locations

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

I’m not really aware of what I notice but it’s probably vibes

7. what’s your eye color?

Hazel

8. scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings but only because I am too easily affected by scary movies I have never been able to watch thrillers or horror or even listen to scary stories on like school camps and stuff; I’d get mad nightmares and it would be all I could think about for ages - it’s so bad I couldn’t/can’t even watch buzzfeed unsolved

9. any special talents?

depends how you define it but probably nothing I can think of off the top of my head.

10. where were you born?

Melbourne, Aus. No I am not doxxing myself the city has 5 million ppl living here

11. what are your hobbies?

I don’t have anything solid other than stuff that I don’t talk about online. I guess I like drawing but even that I’m not great at and only get into occasionally

12. do you have any pets?

I have a cat! I’ve had him for about 14 years and I love him very very much. We adopted him and his mum together and they were both strays, but sadly his mum passed away in late 2020.

13. how tall are you?

176cm. I feel like this list of questions is about to ask me my mothers maiden name

14. favorite subject in school?

I loved maths and physics and chem

15. dream job?

Anything that involves acting, stage, screen, etc

Not gonna tag anyone cause anxiety but please feel free to take this as a tag if you wanna do it (actually genuinely, feel free to tag me in the post too if you want to!)

[capseycartwright]

Oo if you feel comfortable, I'd love to hear about your crush!!

sjsjsjs i don’t know if it’s interesting bc i also don’t want to like. inadvertently dox myself

but it’s a good friend of mine. and he’s the loveliest man i have ever met. and we spend a lot of time together and he makes me laugh and listens to all the nonsense i hit out with. and i really sincerely hope it works out. that is all goodnight

[volo-thereforeiam]

while it's accurate for males to refer themselves as "radfem allies" than rad-leaning (or any turn of phrase alike) anon you're making such weird choices. if your immediate circles won't hate you for saying what you want, why are you even bothering to be on anon? if they will, why are you around them? lmao speak with the weight of your @ or no one cares, especially especially especially if you have a serious concern.

would've expected rads to get this by now.

op people will value your word less on every issue because your input is coming from someone of a class with higher social authority and who doesn't share our most concerning oppressions and exploitations, though everyone (else except this anon) knows you're already aware of that. keep listening, learning, and helping how you can. some people don't understand the difference between public and private venues.

Thank you for your kind words, but I really am a woman. I don’t know how to prove it without doxxing myself. This isn’t the first time someone’s accused me of being a man (maybe it’s the same person, who knows), and I’ve given up trying to convince them. This time, though, my inbox is flooded with these accusations—probably because some of my reblogs lately aren’t as blatantly hostile to men as anon would prefer. My reply to that anon wasn’t to prove I’m a woman (I’ve accepted that won’t happen) but to hopefully get a rebuttal to the points she disagrees with.