#lily is jealous of severus | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sevilynne · 3 months ago

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"B—but... Snivellus is a death eater..."

Listen here, you little shit. For Severus, he got neglected by BOTH parents (and it was implied that he was abused both physically and mentally as well.), gets bullied by two boys because he wanted to go to Slytherin (who sneers back and ends up getting bullied), almost gets killed and Sirius nor Remus gets any consequences other than detention (Really? Is his life worth detention and not Azkaban?), James flexes it to Lily and Lily starts believing James over the victim, Severus accidentally calls his bestfriend a mudblood over the heat of the situation (Lily was about to smile, when James literally used scorgify in his mouth), loses the person thay cared for him the most compared to others (Which Lily isn't even a good friend, so his life is messed up), with Remus and Sirius not maturing (Sirius still calls Severus "Snivellus", and Remus and Sirius spreading lies like "Severus was jealous of James" or "Lily never hated James," when it's the other way around!!! James was jealous of Severus because he existed and Lily was his best friend!

Now his blood supremacist friends are basically recruiting him, and helping him on the way! Basically, the "bad side" is his good side! They are the only ones who "cared" for him when he needed help! He was a death eater for a reason, and people manipulating him because he was vulnerable is a reason.

The audacity of stans trying to make a hotter version of Severus—Regulus? Regulus is basically a walmart Severus but Timothée Chalamet dressed up in wizard robes! If Regulus was told as ugly, nobody would boohoo care about him.

Y'all only hate Severus and love Regulus because J.K. Rowling never made a Marauders era movie! Regulus is basically a blood supremacist with Voldemort shrines and posters who'd call Lily a mudblood! While Severus is basically bullied on a daily basis.

You guys got to see Severus's good and bad things! Like him "bullying" children, but saved the wizarding world. Literally, maybe he targeted children, but so did Minerva! Minerva literally targeted Neville and locked him outside of the Gryffindor common room when there's an apparent psycho killer, and humiliated him infront of everyone! But we all never see that because we are in Harry's POV, she favours him—she only took points and she was apparently fair because Harry's BIASED!!! Just like how all Slytherins are portrayed because of Hagrid and Ron!!! She favours Gryffindor just like how Severus favours Slytherin, except she takes big points away (which is from Gryffindors she doesn't like) and when she's infront of the professors!

Severus is a morally grey character, and Regulus? We basically time skipped him, we skipped all of the bad things he has done while we never skipped Severus's, that's why you don't have a bad opinion about him, but really! In the Marauders timeline, Regulus was a Voldemort fanboy while Severus literally had stuff happening.

This is why you don't hate James Potter, you guys basically skipped HIS timeline and moved to Harry's, which Severus is portrayed to be this big bad bully until DH! And that's why Harry "Snape's #1 Biggest Hater" Potter's vision changed to "Snape's #1 Biggest Defender", just like how his vision changed from "My father is a great man" to "I fucking hate my own father".

But you guys are so deep into these fanfics like CR (Crimson Rivers) or ATYD (All the Young Dudes) that you all forget about canon lore! He physically assaulted, sexually assaulted, and mentally exhausted Severus! We're not throwing the SA word around, because lets think of this:

———

Lily let out a stream of mixed swearwords and hexes, but her wand being ten feet away, nothing happened.

“Wash out your mouth,” said James coldly. “Scourgify!”

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Lily’s mouth at once; the froth was covering her lips, making her gag, choking her —

“Leave her ALONE!”

James and Sirius looked around. James’s free hand jumped to his hair again.

It was one of the boys from the lake edge. He had black hair that fell to his shoulders and startlingly onyx eyes.

“All right, Snape?” said James, and the tone of his voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper, more mature.

“Leave her alone,” Severus repeated. He was looking at James with every sign of great dislike. “What’s she done to you?”

“Well,” said James, appearing to deliberate the point, “it’s more the fact that she exists, if you know what I mean...”

Many of the surrounding watchers laughed, Sirius and Wormtail included, but Lupin, still apparently intent on his book, didn’t, and neither did Severus.

“You think you’re funny,” he said coldly. “But you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave her alone."

Behind her, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Lily was beginning to inch toward her fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.

“Bad luck, Prongs,” said Sirius briskly, turning back to Evans. “OY!”

But too late; Lily had directed her wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James’s face, spattering his robes with blood.

James whirled about; a second flash of light later, Lily was hanging upside down in the air, her robes falling over her head to reveal skinny legs and a skirt.

Many people in the small crowd watching cheered. Sirius, James, and Wormtail roared with laughter. Severus, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though he was going to smile, said, “Let her down!”

“Certainly,” said James and he jerked his wand upward. Evans fell into a crumpled heap on the ground.

Disentangling herself from her robes, she got quickly to her feet, wand up, but Sirius said, “Petrificus Totalus!” and Lily keeled over again at once, rigid as a board.

“LEAVE HER ALONE!” Severus shouted. He had his own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

“Ah, Snape, don’t make me hex you,” said James earnestly.

“Take the curse off her, then!”

James sighed deeply, then turned to Lily and muttered the countercurse.

“There you go,” he said, as Lily struggled to her feet again, “you’re lucky Snape was here, Evans —”

“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like him!" (Severus is canonically a Mudblood because he has dirty blood—Muggle blood)

Severus blinked.

“Fine,” he said coolly. “I won’t bother in future. And I’d wash your skirt if I were you, Evans.”

“Apologize to Snape!” James roared at Evans, his wand pointed threateningly at her.

“I don’t want you to make her apologize,” Severus shouted, rounding on James. “You’re as bad as she is.”

“What?” yelped James. “I’d NEVER call you a — you-know-what!”

“[...], walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can — I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.”

He turned on his heel and hurried away.

“Snape!” James shouted after him, “Hey, SNAPE!” But he didn’t look back.

“What is it with him?” said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him.

“Reading between the lines, I’d say he thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate,” said Sirius.

“Right,” said James, who looked furious now, “right —”

There was another flash of light, and Evans was once again hanging upside down in the air.

“Who wants to see me take off Evans’s skirt?”

———

Now, let's see if this isn't messed up. This is humiliating! Why did Severus leave his female best friend when she was being PA'd and SA'd by a male! Why did he take out his wand too late? Why is he such a coward?

Gender roles do matter in this context, no matter if Severus considers this as SA or not, it's SA and he got his pants stripped down, but it doesn't matter, he's a boy isn't he?

If this was Lily, everyone would care, but no! It's greasy, slimy, old Snape, and he's a boy.

Sirius nor James used dark spells, but they were pretty much using hexes so it doesn't matter—they are basically baby DE bullies but Gryffindors.

Stop attacking Severus and start thinking about this, because he was just a boy.

A lot of people (Not all) cared for Harry when Myrtle basically tried to SA him, why not Severus? He was stripped infront of the whole school! (Not invalidating Harry's trauma), this is just so messed up.

#severus snape #pro severus snape #harry potter #marauders era #i fucking hate james potter

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justagirlwholikesadam · 2 months ago

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This Feeling Will Pass

Severus Snape x Fem! Reader

Summary: About to go on a date with Remus turns into disaster but you find comfort in someone else.

Warning: Remus makes a mistake, kisses, self-doubts, muggle literature, Lily tries her best, reader cries a lot, prank.

A/n: This had been fermenting in my google docs, decided to finish it once and for all. Hope you like it! -L

Word Count: 6.4K

You had feelings for him before Lily introduced you to him. You saw Remus around in the library before, it was his favorite place, he told you. You liked him because he was kind hearted and a gentleman. Opening doors for you, reaching the book for you on the top shelves. Bringing your chair out for you to sit. Studying with him was mostly the only time both of you spent with each other. Some days were quiet while other days the study session of 1 hour became 5 hours. Lily or James would come and find you guys still talking. Lily joked with you when walking back to the girls dormitory.

“I never seen Remus look like that before.”

“What do you mean?” You asked Lily.

“He looks at you with so much love.” Her response makes you laugh in disbelief.

You remember that day, Lily had frowned and told you she knew Remus likes you back but he never gave you any hints that he might have feelings for you. You know that was for a fact when he started to date some girl from House Hufflepuff. You honestly thought it was your last day on earth, he came walking hand to hand with the girl in the great hall. You ignored the look on Lily’s face, you felt like you couldn’t breathe when he introduced her to you. The Hufflepuff didn’t last long and so didn’t the second girl in House Ravenclaw. By then you were better at hiding your feelings for Remus from Lily.

Anthony Setman from Ravenclaw had asked you on a date in your 5th year. Cute, dark haired Anthony had asked you during breakfast just a week before students were allowed to go to Hogsmeade. Lily told you that Remus stared draggers at him when asking you out. You ignored Lily when she brought him up. You didn’t want to think of Remus of a time like this. Someone had asked you out, a boy who likes you.

Remus was waiting for you in the common room when you came back from the date. You never saw Remus so nervous, he had grabbed your hand and pulled you to sit on the couch facing the fireplace. His eyes narrowed when he asked you about your date. You told him the truth, cute and dark haired Anthony was a bit of a let down. He spent the entire time talking about quidditch.

‘What a twat.’ Remus told you, making you agree.

“Yeah, he was but at least I got a free butterbeer.” You told Remus not noticing he got closer to you.

“I feel like an idiot for not saying it sooner, love. Seeing you with him.” Remus then confessed to you how he liked you. He was too nervous and decided to not do anything in fear of ruining his friendship with you.

“I don’t want to lose you.” Remus said.

“You won’t.” You told him before kissing his cheek.

You had James and Sirius to thank for, they were the ones who spoke to Remus about admitting his feelings to you. They had enough when all of Remus’ relationships ended because of you. You were the reason, the girls were jealous of you. They would ask Remus how come he doesn’t look at them the way he looked at you. You believed it truly at first. You believed James, Sirius and Lily. Remus had told you that next week it would be a date. He had planned it all out, he said as the days passed. On the day of the date, Lily and the girls helped you get dressed and did your makeup. You waited in the common room for him. You waited and waited until you saw James and Sirius along with Peter walking in laughing as they held a book from Zonko's Joke Shop.

“Oi! You look gorgeous.” Sirius said with a smile when he saw you sitting.

“The date went well?!” James asked, then looked around.

“Where’s Moony?” Your face fell, they didn’t know where Remus was. You told them and their smile disappeared.

Using the map, your heart fell when you saw Remus in the library with no other than Shelley Mumps. You quickly ran out of the common room. Remus was probably studying with her. Giving notes or tutoring the blonde Gryffindor, Sirius was hot on your trial. James looked nervous. It was the first time you saw him look like that. Cool and confident Sirius Black was looking under the weather when he tried to block the door of the library and you knew something was up. Peter was long gone, he ran away when he got a harsh look from Sirius and James when he told you to use the map to locate Remus.

Pushing Sirius out of the way, you walked inside, looking at the tables. The library was empty since Hogsmeade was open, you walked to the back. Finding the usual table Remus and you study on, you come to a halt when you see him. James calls your name when he walks from behind. His eyes widen to find his friend sitting on a chair with Shelley sitting on Remus’ lap while kissing him. A curse from Sirius drew them apart and Remus saw you staring at him with tears.

“Wai-Sto-It’s no-.” Remus shouts were ignored as you ran away.

Remus knew he was a horrible person. Having a crush on you and Shelley especially when he asked you on a date. He was confused, James and Sirius told him to make up his mind about it. He had a crush on the blonde since he first came to Hogwarts. Shelley who only talked to him when she needed the answers to the Charms homework. Shelley would wink at him when she needed to pass him to reach Sirius who barely gave her the time of day because he was looking at Marlene Price. As the date was coming closer, Remus chose you. He decided Shelley wouldn’t even give him the time of day. Unlike you, Remus liked how you spoke to him. You asked him about his day and how his classes went. You didn’t mind the scars on his face at all, you had even gone far to apply sunscreen on his face when the weather was hot.

Lily hinted at him about your feelings for him and he was happy about it, ecstatic because a girl like you liked him but deep inside he couldn't believe it. Self doubt leaked into his mind. He got an earful from Lily after he introduced the Hufflepuff. She didn’t understand.

‘Someone like her doesn’t need someone like me. Look at me, Lily. How can she really like me with this face? Someone poor?”

“You’re so thick sometimes.” Lily told him before slamming the door behind her.

His relationship didn’t last very long, none of them were like you. He wasn’t interested in them like he was with you. He would come to you when he got excited about something, showing you the newest book in the library. Buying you Hogsmeade sweet when he should be buying it for his girlfriend. The last girl called it quits when she found Remus staring at you when walking into class. You came walking side by side with Mary laughing with her as both of you sat down. Remus smiled at you when you waved at him.

He felt the green monster of jealousy form in the pit of his stomach when saw Anthony walking towards you. The quidditch player gave you a big smile and greeted you. Remus saw your cheeks blush when Anthony complimented your hair. He bit the inside of his cheek when you accepted Anthony’s invitation to go to Hogsmeade. He decided to wait for you to tell you he likes you. Then he wanted to take you on a date after learning about the failed one with Anthony. Sweet kisses were shared between the both of you. Remus walked with you to your classes the next morning. James, Sirius and Peter teased him about it but he didn’t mind. Seeing your smile was everything to him.

A few hours before the date, he decided to catch up on some homework so he would have more time with you. Finishing his essay, he was surprised when he saw Shelley in the library. She walked towards him and asked him the most obvious question: what was he doing? He looked down at the open books in front of him then looked up at her. He was doing homework. Shelley was getting too close and it didn’t set well with him. He blushed when she openly told him how attractive she thought he was. He grew even more red when she sat on his lap, her arm wrapped around his shoulders. She pulled on his tie and told him to relax.

“I need to go-.” She shook her head. “Go where, silly?”

“Have you thought about kissing me, Remus?” Shelley asked him as she leaned close to his face.

“I think about it.” She tells him. Remus couldn’t believe Shelley Mumps was sitting on his lap telling him how she thought about kissing him. She had the top buttons of her shirt undone and her tie was nowhere to be found.

“Can I kiss you?” She asked him, running her fingers through his hair. Remus just nods. They continued on with their kisses and he lost track of time, he gets excited and mistakenly mumbles your name against Shelley’s lips. She doesn’t even hear it, too busy looking behind him at the group of people who covered their mouths, trying to keep their laughter at bay.

Remus hears footsteps and Sirius’ voice, he pulls away and sees you. The look of betrayal on your face makes him come back to reality and dread seeps inside of him, filling him up. James and Sirius give him a look as he pushes Shelley off his lap.

“I don’t understand, mate. I thought you liked her? You picked her!” Sirius asked him after they went back to their rooms. James and Peter look over at Remus who covers his face as he sits on the edge of his bed.

“I know. I like her.” Remus said.

“Then why you fucking kissed SHELLEY?!” James snaps at him.

You ran and ran until you couldn’t breathe anymore. Tears ran down your face as you kept seeing Shelley on Remus, she was making out with him. Her arms around him, his hands on her hips. He ditched you to kiss Shelley. You felt like an idiot for believing your friends, Remus didn’t like you at all.

You ran into the Forbidden Forest and held yourself against a tree. You dropped down on your knees as you began to cough. Not realizing someone was walking towards you. You were crying as they got closer to you. You couldn’t hear them from the sobbing. Wallowing in your pain, you jumped up when you felt someone touch your shoulder. Looking over your shoulder you saw Severus Snape. He stood up straight and asked if you were alright. You knitted your brows in confusion by his question.

Severus Snape never spoke to you before, being from a different house. You didn’t have a need to speak with him. He was in some of your classes but stayed in the back. You sniffed and he handed you a handkerchief from his pocket.

“Thanks.” You said softly, grabbing it from his grasp. He gives you a nod before looking away from you. You noticed the large leather book in his other hand. Lily told you a bit about her ex friend, Severus. Told you how he was the one to tell her she was a witch. She loved him like a brother, she was his only friend. Since she was sorted into a different house, it made it more difficult to still speak with him, especially when James started to bully him. The bullying grew to the point where he lashed at her calling her a mudblood. She told you she didn’t hold any bad blood against him, but she just simply didn’t want anything to do with him after that.

“I’m sorry if I bothered you.” You told him. Severus frowned at your apology, he wondered why you were sorry.

“You didn’t.” He said watching you wipe your tears. Your mascara was smudged under your eyes, he wanted to laugh at the sight of you. He was reading when he heard you. You had completely passed him, he was sitting against a tree when he saw you. He started using the Forbidden Forest as his hangout. No one came here, he was never disturbed until now.

Severus knew who you were. Seen you around and during class. You walked with Lily most of the time, you were always with Remus. He never saw you cry before, you were always smiling and brightened the room with it. He didn’t like how the fat tears were rolling down your pretty face. That’s why he followed you, followed you until you slumped against a tree. You were wearing muggle clothes and he saw how your hair was changed up. You were planning on going somewhere, probably to Hogsmeade. He heard about Anthony asking you. He rolled his eyes at the meathead who was speaking loudly about asking you out. Last thing he heard was Anthony getting annoyed when you rejected him for a second date. He called you a tease for not even kissing him on the first date.

Severus wondered if Anthony had said something to you. The grasp on his book tightened at the thought of it.

‘Fucking asshole.’ Severus curses to himself.

“Was it Anthony?” He asked you, his dark brows rose up when you shook your head.

“It -.” You let out a deep breath and shook your head once more.

“I’m sorry, Severus. I don’t want to bother you with my problems.” You said pushing yourself up. You were about to give him back his handkerchief when you stopped yourself from giving it to him. Severus wouldn’t want a handkerchief covered with snot and tears.

“Don’t be sorry.” Severus said, you were the first person to apologize to him and the first to do it for a second time.

“Did he hurt you?” He asked. You shook your head, “It’s dumb.”

“If it’s dumb you wouldn’t be crying.” He said. When you don't respond, he gives you a nod. He wasn’t surprised, why would you tell him your problems? This is the first time both of you are speaking to each other. He knew since you're friends with Lily, you wouldn’t want anything to do with him.

Severus walks back to his spot a few feet away. He makes himself comfortable and opens his book. He hears footsteps coming closer to him after a few minutes.

“Are you usually here at this time?” You asked him and he looks up from his book.

“Everyday.” He answers sharply. “Can I join you tomorrow, please?”

He wants to say no because this is his spot. His spot to be away from everyone. A spot where he isn’t bullied or made fun of because of his features. But you had asked him so nicely, you spoke to him like a person. He can’t recall the last time someone said please to him.

“Sure.” He said, he looked away from you when you smiled at him. He doesn’t understand why his stomach flips at the sight of you smiling at him.

“Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye.” He doesn't say anything back to you but he watches you leave. He doesn’t look away until you disappear from his sight.

He doesn’t think you would show up after dinner the next day. He’s already sitting down and halfway through his book when he hears you. You greet him and he brings the book down from his face. He can tell you were crying, you had a smaller book in your hand.

He nods at your welcome and watches you sit across from him, leaning against the other tree. You give him a smile before opening your book. Severus can’t concentrate; he's been reading the same sentence three times now. With the book in front of his face, he peeks over at you. You are in uniform, you had a leg over the other as you read your book. Severus has never seen it before, he thinks it might be a muggle book.

The books he reads are only in the library. He never had enough money for books back home. His father had told him it’s a waste of money. The title caught his interest.

Sense and Sensibility

“What book is that?” He asked you after a few minutes of silence. Your eyes came up and you gave him a small smile. You can see Severus’ face light up as you tell him about the author and the genre. He didn’t even notice you getting up and walking towards him handing him the book. Severus grabbed it with caution as he looked at the cover and flips the pages.

“You don’t read muggle books?” You asked him. He shook his head, his long locks of hair is covering his face.

“A muggle book in House Slytherin is a no go.” Severus told you. He knew Mulciber would tease him until no end if he ever saw these types of books on him.

“You can borrow it, read it here and I’ll take it back. Tomorrow I’ll bring it again in case you don’t finish.” Severus thinks about it for a minute, his eyes look up from the book at you.

“Why?” He asked and it caught you off guard. What does he mean by that?

“Not su-“ “Why are you being so nice to me?” He questioned.

“You’re Lily’s friend. You should hate me. You should bully me like those idiots Black and Potter.” You shook your head at him.

“I don’t want to bully you and I am her friend but she never once told me to stay away from you. She also doesn’t have a saying who I can be friends with.” Severus’ dark eyes stared at you, looking for any glimmer in your eyes saying that you were lying but he found none. You were being sincere. He realize you said friends. Since when did you become friends with him? He asks himself.

“What about Lupin? What happened to him? He usually follows you everywhere. Always staring at you when you aren’t looking.” You look down at the ground.

When you didn’t respond Severus sighs before shutting your book. “Look, I’m not going to stay here. Whatever is going on, I’m not looking for those imbeciles to come looking for you and find me. I had enough of those idiots.”

Severus was about to stand up when he saw you were crying. He rolled his eyes and immediately felt bad. He wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings, he didn’t want to be bullied again for being near you. Severus wasn’t stupid, he knew Lupin liked you. Severus was surprised when word got around that Remus was dating some other girl.

Severus watched as you grabbed his handkerchief for your pocket to wipe your tears. You kept it. He thinks to himself. He was sure you would have thrown it out by now since it came from him. Severus calls out your name softly.

“Tell me? What happened?”

Severus frowned heavily while you told him about it. His lips became a thin line as you spoke about Remus and Shelley.

“Sirius was nice enough to tell me what happened. He found me crying in the hallway. He said it wasn’t right what Remus did. Called him an idiot. Remus had a crush on Shelley for the longest. He started to like me too. James and Sirius told him to pick one and they thought he picked me but at the end Remus picked her. He was making out with her in the library.”

“I’m so stupid. I actually believe that he liked me. How can I ever compare myself to her?” Severus shakes his head.

“Don’t compare yourself to her, believe me. That airhead doesn’t know the difference between left and right.” You look over at Severus. “Had her as a partner in potion. She is so irritating and lazy.”

After a while Severus looks over at you and tucks his hair behind his ear. “You’re so much better than her.”

“Thank you, Severus.” You said, Severus tensed up when you walked next to him. Sitting down on the ground and patting the ground next to you. He sat down.

“We can read it together. If we aren’t done, I’ll bring it tomorrow.” Severus sits down beside you and opens the book.

“Maybe you can read it out loud.” Severus doesn’t answer you, he goes to the front page and clears his throat before beginning to read out loud.

Your eyes lifted from the page onto Severus’ fingers. They were long and thin, the book looked so small in his hands. You can see a few light scars on his knuckles and fingers. You knew it had to be from all of the potion making. Severus was well known for it, spending hours in the potion room in the dungeon. His skin was so fair, he was in dire need of suntan. You remember Lily told you that Severus never really goes out. You tried your hardest to remember everything she told you about him. Looking at his head, his hair covered his face, the tip of his nose peeked out and you desperately wanted to see his face up close. As you think about it now you don’t think you ever saw Severus’ face, his hair always covered his face and he always looked down at the ground when walking. Plus he was so tall, some people had to look up just to see his face.

You looked at the book, when he flipped the page. Clearing his throat once more, he read out loud again and you were hypnotized by his voice. The tone of his voice was deeper and he said every syllable in every word with such smooth. You didn’t think it was possible but his voice put you at ease and for the first time in those two days you stop thinking about Remus Lupin.

Meeting with Severus in the forest became a daily thing. After dinner, you will walk to the forest after rejecting Lily's plea to come and sit beside her with James. You didn’t want to see them yet. You didn’t want to see Remus, who was obviously waiting for you to come and sit down so he could speak to you.

“I have homework, Lils.” You kept giving her the same answer that you had homework and left the dinner table quickly. Going to meet Severus to read was the highlight of your day. He didn’t treat you any different like the rest. He didn’t even ask you about it. He always waited for you to say something about it first. He never pushed you for any answers.

A week has passed and your daily visit with Severus was still happening. You had avoided Remus for the most part. On Saturday you didn’t see him and was thanking Merlin, you can have breakfast in peace. You sat down eating your breakfast when Lily came rushing it.

She came running to you, sitting down next to you.

“You won't believe what happened with Shelley and Remus?!” You gave her a look of displeasure.

You don’t even want to know.

“That bitch and a group of Ravenclaw placed a bet on her to kiss Remus. She was laughing about it in the common room.” You felt your stomach turned inside out.

“Remus?” Lily took a deep breath before telling you that he was there, listening with James and Sirius. He ran up to his room and refused to leave.

“That’s terrible, Lily.” You said before turning back to continue eating.

“Don't you get it?” Lily asked, pulling your arm to face her again.

“That kiss meant nothing. Remus likes you and he misses you.” Lily stopped talking when she saw your face of disbelief.

“Remus doesn’t like me, Lily. Even if Shelley did kiss him for a bet he said yes, he kissed her back, and I know because I had to watch them make out. They were making out while I was waiting for him to go on our date. A date that he missed because he was making out with her.”

“ I want nothing to do with him.” Lily remained quiet but still sat beside you.

“I’m sorry.” She apologized to you. “I just wanted both of my best friends to get together.”

“I know.” You told her as you handed her a piece of toast.

Severus listened to you as you told him about what Lily had said. He watched you pace around as he sat down on the ground. He looked so angry when Lily told you to get Remus back. His eyes widened when you told him that you refused too. Remus had made his choice and so have you. As much as you liked him, you had respect for yourself, you would not go back to him. As much as you wanted to kiss him and be his girlfriend you couldn’t because all you can see him ditching you for her.

“I’m glad. Truly am. You deserve better.” Severus told you when you sat beside him to continue reading.

“You know Severus, I know I’m always telling you about my problems, but you know you can tell me about yours. I don’t mind, it’s the least I can do for you having to listen to me rant on and on about Remus.” Severus was touched by your words.

You were always there to remind him that he wasn’t alone. He hasn’t felt this alone this week since you started meeting him in the forest. It was nice to have someone next to him. It was nice to feel your warmth near him. It was nice to share a common interest with someone.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He told you, making you smile as you looked down at the book. Both of you finished the book on the second day, Severus and you were unaware of the time as both of you spoke about the book. He liked the character Colonel Brandon from the start.

“I'm glad he got his happy ending.” Severus said softly looking down at the cover of the book.

“Yeah, after everything he did. He deserved to have it.” You agreed with Severus.

“Do you think happy endings happen in real life?” Severus asked without a single thought and you raised a brow at him. His eyes remained on the cover of the book.

“Absolutely.” Severus looks over at you and you see his face up close for the first time. You were surprised by it. James and Sirius had told you Severus was ugly with a big hook nose. His pale face was unblemished and his thin lips were a pale pink. His dark lashes surrounded his dark eyes. His nose was large but it made his face unique. As you leaned closer to him, he smelled like smokes of potion and cigarettes. You didn't know he smoked.

“If you say so then I believe it.” Severus said, looking towards you.

“If you like this then next should be Jane Eyre.” Severus looks away. “You still want to hang out with me?”

You nod at him. “Of course. I like it. To be honest, I feel more relaxed when I’m with you, just sitting here and reading.”

“Me too.” Severus said. Days passed and you met up with Severus after dinner. Sometimes you would bring your homework and do it while he read out loud. You told him he should do voice acting and Severus just shakes his head.

“You’re the only person who likes this voice.” He told you looking up from the book. You sat cross-legged with a book in your lap. His eyes darted away when he saw your bare knees, the skirt rose up to your thigh showing your skin.

The next day Severus brought a blanket with him. You smiled at him as he placed it on the ground, telling you so you won’t have dirt and grass stained on your skirt. The next day he was waiting for you on the blanket when you brought a small basket with you.

“So you don’t get thirsty when reading.” You told him while taking out a bottle of water from the basket.

During the day Severus was surprised when you greeted him in the hallways, he honestly thought you would pretend that you didn’t know him. Avery was shocked when you waved your hand at him and Severus did the same as you passed by him. Severus had his so-called friends on him the entire day, asking him if he knew you. He didn’t say a word, he wasn’t going to let them ruin the only good thing he had going on.

Severus didn’t want to ruin what he had with you. Reading after dinner was the best part of his day, he noticed how Remus would try to talk to you. Lily being with James, she wanted to talk to you but you always seemed to be with Mary and another girl. When he finished Jane Eyre, you told him about getting another book. He was finishing up dinner when he didn’t notice you walking towards him.

“Hey!” Severus looks up to see you standing in front of him. You grab your bag from your shoulder and he’s so busy looking at you that he doesn’t notice James and Sirius staring at him. Remus just stares in disbelief.

“I have The Great Gatsby and Frankenstein!” You bring the books up to his face and there’s a smile that appears on his pale face.

He excitedly takes them from your grasp and looks down at the cover. Remus tries to ignore the smile you give Severus as he picks one of them.

“I have seen a glimpse of a cartoon about this.” Severus says, showing you the Frankenstein book.

“On your TV?” You asked and he shakes his head.

“In my neighborhood, the tv shop mostly.” You nod at him and can’t help wondering if he ever watches tv. You believe he should since he's half blood. You wanted to ask more about him.

“I was thinking maybe we can walk together to the forest.” Severus nods and grabs his own bag walking next to you.

“What the fuck is going on?” James asked the table as they watched you walking side by side with Severus out of the great hall.

“Have you spoken to her?” Lily asked Remus. He shakes his head looking down at his plate.

====

"I wanted to show you something. I found it when I was looking for ingredients.” Severus said as you guys walked to the normal spot a few feet deep into the forest.

“Really?” Severus smiles at you as he keeps walking into the forest.

“Aren't there like flesh-eating monsters?” Severus laughs loudly at your question.

“Monsters yes, but not flesh-eating monsters.” You come to a halt and Severus turns around.

“There are spiders!” Your mouth dropped and he laughed before walking closer to you.

“Don't worry. You’ll be safe.” You look at him only for Severus to look away from you. His pale cheeks flared up in pink whenever you looked at him straight in the eyes. You did it so often, he still hasn't gotten used to it.

“Okay.” You said, grabbing a hold of his hand. Severus tensed up but didn't pull away. He starts walking, pulling you with him. A few minutes walking further in, Severus took you to a cave. Your ears perked up when you heard a waterfall. Looking at Severus with wide eyes, he nods at you.

“Is that even possible? A waterfall in the middle of a forest.” Severus smiles at your reaction.

“Come in.” He pulls you inside, he pulls you down to crawl into a tunnel. The sound of the water grew louder.

“Careful.” The only source of light was up high, the light showed the 10 feet waterfall. Severus pulls his wand out and without a word, he waves it in front of him. Your eyes widen as the candles around the cave lit one by one.

“Sev! This is amazing!” Severus watches as you walked closer to the waterfall. Looking down, you noticed the dirt was becoming sand when getting closer to the water.

“This is impossible!” You told him as you dropped your bag on the ground and walked closer to him.

“How can this be?” Severus shrugs his lean shoulders at your question.

“Magic.” He said, making you chuckle as you walked back to the water. He saw how you removed your shoes and socks, dipping your toes in the water.

“Should be alright to swim in it, right?” You asked him, looking over your shoulder at him.

===

Remus sat up from the couch when he heard the door open of the common room. His eyes widen at the sight of you. Your hair was damp, you carried your bag and sweater over your arm.

“Hey.” Remus said standing up from his seat. He couldn't help but feel down when he saw the smile on your face disappear when you saw him.

“Hi.” You answered him. “Where have you been?” He asked.

“Out.” Remus nods before sighing. “I’m sorry. I know you must hate me. I just want you to know how truly sorry I am.”

“Are you sorry because you found out it was a bet?” You asked him and Remus frowns.

“No! She was on me and grinding on me. She was on top of me and she asked me if I wanted to kiss her while her arms were on me.” Remus began to rant as he got closer to you.

“Remus.” You called his name and shook your head. “I’m sorry for ignoring you.” Remus felt hope in his chest.

“We were never together. I shouldn’t have gotten mad because we were nothing.” Remus frowns at you and shakes his head.

“It was something to me. You meant something to me.” He shouts your name. Tears well up in your eyes and you sighed.

"If it meant something then why did you say yes to kiss her.”

“It was a mistake.” Remus exclaimed. “I forgive you.” He smiles at your response.

“Let me take you out on a date. A date you deserve.” Remus said holding your hands but you shook your head.

“No. I don’t want to date you.” His hands drop down.

He looks at you with a sigh. “Because of him right?”

You look at him with a curious look. “Severus. The guys don’t know but I know. I didn’t know where you were going after dinner. I saw you on the map with him disappearing in the forbidden forest.”

“Who else knows?” You asked him and Remus answers you with no one.

“Do you like him?” His question made you freeze as you remembered Severus' lips on you.

You had begged him to join you in the water. You have gotten far to turn around so he can get undressed. When you turned around, he stood behind you shirtless. The sound of him whining when you pushed yourself against him filled your entire body. Your ears rang with the sound of your name coming out of his mouth when you cupped his face with your hands.

Remus bites the inside of his cheek when you nod at him. His eyes fill up with tears, at the look on your face.

“Does he treat you well at least?” Remus asked, if you didn’t want to be with him. He hoped the other person treated you better.

“Because if he doesn't, I can treat you well. I swear, Y/n just give me one more chance. This feeling I have of you hasn't changed.” Remus is breathing heavily.

“Whatever feelings you have of me will pass, Remus. That feeling will pass.”

“What if it doesn’t?” Remus asks softly. “I have a hard time believing that. Who wouldn't want sweet and cute Lupin.”

Remus chuckles but his eyes are filled with remorse. “It took a prank to finally help me figure out who I wanted and in the end I lost you.”

“I’m sorry about the prank. It was cruel.” Remus shakes his head and tells you not to worry. James, Lily, Sirius and Peter got Shelley at the end and turned her hair into a troll hair for a month.

===

Lily was surprised when she saw Severus waiting outside of her class. He looked nervous and he called out her name. Her friends glared at him but she dismissed them, asking them to go on without her.

“Hey Severus.” Lily said as she walked in front of him.

“Hi.” Severus said back, tucking his hands in the pockets of his pants.

“I wanted to ask you something.” Lily frowned, She hasn’t spoken to him in a year and all of sudden he wanted to talk to her.

“I know you hate me for what I did.” Lily was about to shake her head and tell him to leave her alone but he raised his hand when she was about to speak.

“I hate myself for what I did. I can’t take it back but I am sorry. I wanted to know if it’s okay with you-.” Lily’s eyes widened when Severus asked to ask you out on a date.

“I’m only asking because if she said no I don’t want you to make fun of her or get mad at her. I have fallen for her, Lily.” Severus flinched when Lily hugged him. So shocked that he didn’t even hug her back.

“Are you serious?! Are you telling me the truth?” Severus nods at her.

“Severus, ask her. If you like her, do it!”

“You won’t get mad. I don’t want you to think I’m stealing your friend.” Lily shakes her head quickly.

“Of course not!” Lily pulled Severus to an empty classroom demanding how this happened. Severus kept his eyes on his lap, playing with his fingers as he told her how he saw you crying. Lily noticed a smile on Severus’ lips when he told her when he realized his feelings for you. His dark eyes sparkled the same way Remus’ eyes did whenever he spoke about you.

#severus snape gets a happy ending #severus snape x reader angst #young severus snape x reader #young severus snape fanfic #severus fanfiction #severus snape #remus lupin angst #remus lupin x fem reader #severus x reader #Remus lupin is dumb #harry potter fanfiction #remus lupin fanfiction

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sssiriusly · 2 years ago

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KISSES; REMUS LUPIN

fem!evans!reader

❛ you are so stupid, Remus ❜

summary: Remus doesn't seem to get enough of his sweet girlfriend.

warning: kisses, idiots in love, lily evans being a good protective big sister, mentions of sex, slight mention of drugs. (I think that's all)

note: my first language is no English, also again this is not edited and written late at night.

masterlist

HIS HANDS WERE EVERYWHERE. On your hips, on your back, on your bum —sometimes trying to reach your breasts. His lips were soft, oh so soft you'd bet you could fall asleep while kissing him, or while he was kissing you. Your hands were placed on his hair —messy thanks to you. He hums as you pull it.

Supposedly you were going to study for potions, this subject was hard for both of you so you decided to have a fun study date together, with chocolate and candy canes and maybe some hot chocolate as well.

It started when you were reading over your notes and you could feel Remus's stare over you; seconds later his hand had found your thigh and his chin was resting over your shoulder.

“I think we've studied enough, you know?”. Quite ironic coming from him, the same boy who would starve himself if it meant getting an O on everything (or at least the majority of his classes) was one telling you to stop studying. Ironic really.

“I still don't get it, Rem”. You sighed, your eyes closing momentarily as you felt Remus' hands wander over your legs, coming up from your knee to your upper thigh and to your knee again. His soft lips slightly kissing your left shoulder, it felt so good. You let yourself dive into the pleasure your boyfriend is giving you. How his long fingers pressed against you, his hot breath against you. Maybe you could study later— no! He was distracting you that sick bastard! But it felt so good.

“We could study later” he kissed your neck slightly sucking on it “or tomorrow” he kissed right behind your ear, you sighed “we could always just copy Snape's notes” you laughed, not because of the kisses but because of the mention of Severus on this intimate moment.

“I—. . . Should I be jealous that you think about Severus when we are kissing” he laughed, his nose digging into your neck, softly biting you shoulder.

“I am so sorry you had to find out this way, love” he kissed your cheek “—but Snivellus now owns my heart” you laughed throwing your head against Remus' shoulder. He kissed you, softly, so softly you could get lost in it.

“you are so stupid, Lupin” you giggled and so did he, his hands leaving your legs and embracing you in a tight hug, your noses slightly grazing each other as he smiled at you, so lovingly, so lost and that dazed feeling took over your head, the pressure in your chest that expanded into a warm wave of love, passion and joy all over your body, you couldn't get luckier, not when this man was in front of you smiling as if you were the last chocolate on his collection. You couldn't get enough of this man. And that's how you ended in this situation, both your tongues fighting as he moved you slightly over his lap. Sighs came out of his mouth as you grazed his growing erection and you chuckled at this. He took your shirt leaving you in your yellow brassier.

His kisses left your mouth and travelled to your cleavage where he sucked and licked until he was satisfied. He reached for your tits, and one of his hands cupped one as the other brought you closer to his body. He sucked on the upper part uncovered by your brassier.

Lost in the pleasure he was giving you, you did not notice when someone walked into your dorm. When Lily Evans walked into your dorm.

“you won't believe what that git Potter just told me!” her back was turned away from you and Remus, giving you time to compose yourself, “he told me— what in God's name smells like that? Honey have you been smo—. . . ew! No! What in the fuck!”. Lily screamed when she saw you both, your neck covered in hickeys, Remus' hair messy from your hands. She turned around, trying to give the both of you some privacy.

“First Marlene and Dorcas and now you two! What a fucking luck I have. . . Luckiest fucking gyal in the entire wizarding fucking world” she was rambling.

Remus chuckled at your poor attempt at buttoning your his shirt “why so surprised Evans? This is a common encounter between two people who loved each other. Of course you wouldn't know about that” you glared at him and he only shrugged his shoulders, a sly smirk on his face. . . What a handsome face.

“Fuck you Lupin”. She said “every day that passes I convince myself more that you should not be dating my sister” Remus laughed when Lily rolled her eyes, such a common encounter between there and it would be funny to watch if it wasn't for that state both you and Remus were moments prior.

“Lils” you called her, driving her attention to you once again. She furrowed her eyebrows as she looked at you.

“what?” she said “this is my dorm too” you could feel Remus' amusement of the whole interaction.

“Lils,” you said again, emphasising her name, moving your head slightly towards yours and Remus' body, he smiled innocently when her disgusted look made contact with his eyes. She rolled her eyes and left with a “fine” while closing the door.

Remus laughed, one of his large hands grabbing you by the waist as he placed you again on his lap, he held you firmly. Guess studying will come tomorrow, or maybe later, you could always ask Lily for Severus' notes anyways.

☁︎☘︎♧︎︎︎

So this is not edited because I am lazy and when I finished it the first time it got erased so I had to do it again, I am so sorry but I have to put me first 😔✊

#remus lupin fluff #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin #remus lupin smut #remus x reader #Remus #marauders smut #marauders #lily evans #harry potter #marauders era #remus john lupin #fanfic #fem!reader #marauders x reader #evans!reader #sssiriusly

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nightingale2004 · 18 days ago

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Fem! Severus Snape hcs pt.2

Personally, I feel like it would be an ugly duckling turn swan situation

Her bullying wouldn't have been as extreme but still extreme, and the 'prank' still would've happened

Is often ignored not just because of her gender but also because of her status in both the Wizarding world and just society in general

Would be a combination of terrifying yet enchanting like a siren drawing you in with her song or a mysterious enchantress

She would be such an older sister in Hogwarts years to all the younger students in her house

She would be a strict but caring mother and mother figure

Since she is head of her house, she makes sure all of her young snakes look presentable and are staying out of trouble

If she sees a hair out of place, something on her students face, or anything on her students' uniform out of place, she will go full mom mode and fix them up to the point of embarrassment

If she sees her snakes acting disrespectful or out of place, then she will scold them the same way a mother will, which ends up with apologies and gifts for their mother

Gilderoy Lockhart has tried and failed to flirt with Sev and impress her. (It ended with him being blasted to the other side of the classroom by her wand)

Minerva would've seen Sev as a daughter figure to her and would've taught her many things about being a woman

Minerva was the one who taught Sev how to accept who she was as a woman and how to never let herself become smaller in a man's world (a queen teaching her princess 😍😍😍)

She is always two steps ahead of everyone

Despite being silent and invisible. She used this to her advantage and has used these skills to benefit herself and the order and knows a lot of secrets

Every student (regardless of house) see her as strict and a bit unfair, but they also see her as a bit of a mother figure and feel oddly protected but at the same time endangered in her gaze

Has a hard sharp stare that will have your soul leaving your body

Narcissa taught her about makeup and has given Sev her old and extra clothes

Give this woman a cauldron, and she will rule the world

She gives advice when her students need it most

Narcissa and Charity have definitely painted Sev's nails black

Bellatrix is secretly jealous of Sev. Not just because of her looks but how Voldemort sees her

Her voice would be comforting when it's calm, but when her tone changes to anger, to means death

She would still be a mad genius and our sarcastic queen

No doubt, in my mind, she would have a few student admirers

She always carries a mysterious aura

Draco will see her as a mother figure and is possessive if her when other students try to get her attention

Would wear pants and skirts when she was younger and still does to this day

Has Morticia Addams vibes

She still does dramatic entrances

Has eyes in the back of her head (not literally)

Minerva taught her how to dance properly, and now she moves like a ballerina

Is very protective of her students

She saw Lily and Petunia as her sisters and would often imagine that she was their sister and living with them

She has scars from the prank but hides them

Wears long sleeves and boots (low heeled and flat)

She tries to keep her hair from getting too long, but when it does, she ties it up in a ponytail, bun, messy bun, or half up

Her features like her roman nose, pale skin, black eyes, and hair are still there, but she has similar features to Maleficent with her sharp bone structure

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sevsbestfriend · 2 months ago

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In a world where Severus and Lily stay friends till their 7th year but lily is still dating James.

"Mrs Evans how have you been?"

"Severus! It's been so long. I am great how have you been? Lily tells me you have been doing very well in school"

"I suppose my performance has been adequate. Thank you for the tea, it is delicious.

"It's chamomile, dear. I..I needed to ask you something.

"Of course, what is it?"

"I...well with Lily dating already and uh...this is awkward. Please say no if it makes you uncomfortable but would you mind going on a date with Petunia?"

"Uh..excuse me?"

"I know I am being nosy but she has been really lonely lately and...I just.."

Severus owed quite a bit to the Evans family. He thought it wouldn't be that big of a deal to go on a single date. Besides Petunia would probably say no on her own when she finds out anyways.

It was quite a shock when, not only did Petunia not refuse she was on her best behavior and seemed to be really into it. She dressed to the nines, always had a smile on her face and laughed at his shitty jokes.

It was an even bigger shock that Lily seemed to be quite jealous of the whole situation.

"Sev she's my sister!"

"I promise I will be on my best behavior and not hurt her."

"She hates me! Why would you go out with her!!"

"Like you going out with the boy who tormented me?"

"So you really weren't fine with me going out with him??"

"Of course I wasn't but it's not up to me who you date! And who I date isn't up to you either!"

#severus snape #pro snape #hp fanfcition #hp fanfic #hp fandom #lily evans #fanfiction #snetunia

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unconventional-lawnchair · 3 months ago

Text

We'll heal together: Chapter Seven

Not Strong Enough Boygenius

Sirius Black x Reader / Remus Lupin x Reader (Ambiguous-Past)

Masterlist

Summary: Remus confiscates the map and sees a name he never thought he'd ever see again/how Remus lost the reader

Cw: Use of {Y/N}, Mean Remus, Jealous/Jerk Sirius, Harry with hurt feelings, mentions of death, mentions of character death, cusses, mild sensual content (please reach out if I missed something}

Wc- 5963

If you were asked in school when was the first time you had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting the eldest Black brother, you probably would have told them your first year when you met with James to be sorted into your houses.

The Grand hall was magnificent, it looked as amazing as you had always guessed, with so many faces you had never seen before, and such a warm feeling that came with it. You looked around, eyes following the floating candles that cut down the middle aisle and tried to stop you before you could reach James.

You were bouncing on your heels, holding James’s arm, and swaying. Sirius didn't say anything to you, but he stared. Stared the whole time James introduced you to Peter and Remus, telling you the story of how they met, luggage mixed up after several of the suitcases on the platform had been knocked over.

You and Lily shared a look and amused snickers at that.

When James got to Sirius, you two shared a look but nothing else. There was a tension in the air, as you twisted your lips into a skilled and annoyed pout that James knew very well. Sirius just scoffed and looked away from you, stepping closer to James.

You gave a small huff, it felt like you were watching a dog lay claim on their favorite human. You grabbed James’ arm tighter and Sirius in turn wrapped his arm around his shoulder. You glared at Sirius while James stood there with a confused but content look.

“James Potter.” Professor McGonagall called to the front, and he wiggled himself out of your grasp, You and Sirius still remained tense. You looked up at James with a hopeful smile, and your jaw dropped as the hat announced ‘Gryffindor!’ and the kids adorn in red cheered.

You also cheered. Then when Lily was called, you gave her a thumbs up as she glanced at you. With your reassurance, she walked forward, nose upward and full of confidence. The hat hardly touched her head before it boomed out the same house. You lit up as Lily looked over to Snape. The boy slowly nodded, as she hurried off to the red table.

“Severus Snape!” She called forward and the boy climbed the steps. He sat down and his face twisted with determination, before the hat gave a scoff. “You can't just ask for a house, boy! There is more to it than that!”

Snape's face fell but his eyes remained closed.

“Slytherin!” The house called and you gave a worried look at how distressed that seemed to make him. You heard a pompous laugh beside you, turning to look at the gray eyes of Sirius Black.

“Don't be cruel.” You hissed at him and he simply stuck his tongue out at you. You gave a gasp and before you could retaliate, the assistant headmistress called you forward.

At the sound of your last name, a few students looked at you wide eyed. Ignoring the attention had become a useful skill you picked up on when you were younger. You walked up and sat on the stool. Closing your eyes tight, you listened. Praying for Gryffindor. The hat gave the best impression of rolling his eyes. “Hm.. A {L/N}, you have some legacy here. Brave, wise for such a young child. Loyal and ambitious.. Oh, very ambitious.” He muttered and you twisted your face. “You, small child, are an interesting one. Mind is nothing like your father’s years ago..”

You slowly peaked your eyes open, looking over at the red table and smiling as James and Lily met your gaze. By chance, you glanced over at the Slytherin table, eyes locking on Snape who seemed so awkward and out of place, People talking to him and he didn't respond, staring at Lily. You frowned and the hat seemed to notice something in you shift, before the rim curled and he bellowed. “Slytherin!”

Your face fell and your jaw unclenched in shock. Standing up you walked over to the Slytherin table, ignoring people as they tried to call out to you sitting by Snape. He snapped his head up as if he was about to snap at you, before he paused. You both held a look at each other before he huffed and laid his head on the desk. You were content with the silence.

You always told everyone that was the day you were cursed with the parasitic knowledge of Sirius Black. For the trained eye, however, like Lily Evan’s, you two clearly knew each other before that.

“So.” Lily mused as she laid in your bed, facing the canopy above her, and legs curled up. One thing you loved about being Prefects, was your dorms were not but a few yards away from each other. All it took was a silencing charm and James’s cloak to get you and the girls together.

Mary was on the floor facing your mirror, using the back end of your comb to line up her eyeliner while Marlene, her usual make up partner, was distracted.

Dorcus, your fellow Slytherin Prefect, was sitting on your bed by Lily, looking down at Marlene who was laying her head on her lap and biting her lip. Trying to flirt with the usually stoic girl. You raised your eyebrows in surprise when Dorcas actually smiled back. James is going to owe you so much money.

“So?” You asked, sitting on your desk and reordering your record collection Lily had slowly smuggled in for you over the years. As it was Lily’s gifts, it mostly consisted of ABBA and Queen, but all songs you adored.

“Well, I’ve been meaning to ask you, when did you meet Sirius?” Lily asked and your face twisted up in confusion. “What?”

“Don't ‘what’ me, there is clearly history there even before you met in the first year. There is so much hate in that boy's heart for you it's unrivaled. I sometimes wonder if James is the only thing keeping you away from meeting the other end of his wand.”

You gave a bitter laugh and rolled your eyes. “As a training Auror,” The girls collectively groaned and you giggled. “I could totally land him on his arse, thank you very much.”

“You're deflecting.” Mary sang from her seat on the floor and closed her makeup, turning to face you four. You bit your cheek as Marlene snickered. “And clearly there is something going on in that pretty head of yours.”

“I have to agree.” Dorcas called over and turned to face you, hands still on Marlene’s face. The glossy almost transparent lipstick stains all over Marlene’s face did NOT go unnoticed by you. You contemplated honesty, biting your cheek before you groaned.

“It's.. It's stupid, really. I know why he hates me, and it's not complete rubbish.” You sighed and set one of the records on to play with a wave of your wand. “He is just a child. Still thinks he's the only one suffering regardless of the situation. Narcissistic and cruel.”

The room was quiet for a moment before Lily gestured you over to your satin green sheets. You sat down and turned to look at her, as she squashed your cheeks together and Mary, feeling left out, hurried over to practically shove you across the bed. You guys fell down, head to head, looking up at the ceiling, and with another glance at Lily you caved. “Well, I may have met him one other time.”

“Where?” Mary prodded as she shifted to her stomach.

“At our engagement party?” You winced out as you cautiously looked at the girls who were all giving you serious looks of appalled shock.

“You're what!?” Lily finally shouted.

~~~

You couldn't have been more than five, maybe six, when you were told by your father that you were engaged. You were sitting in your room, having just finished your cleaning and making sure there were no blemishes to be seen. Your father and mother came in for their nightly overlook.

You stood in the center of the room, head held up, back straight, and your nose turned so you looked like a presentable young lady. Your hands clasped behind your back as your father walked around you and ran his finger along one of the tops of your bookshelf.

“We are going to the Blacks tomorrow, do you understand?” Your mother’s piercing bird-like voice filled the quiet dark room. “The house elf will dress you, but after your next birthday we expect you to be able to do it yourself. Understand?”

“Yes mother.” You mumbled. You hated the Blacks’, Mrs. Black was always so.. cruel. You couldn't imagine her home would be much better.

“What is the occasion, mother?” You asked in a faint voice.

Your father went to stand by her and began to lead her out. “Your engagement to Sirius Black, her oldest son.”

You had to fight to keep your expression even. Oh.

“You will be on your best behavior, understand?”

“Yes sir.”

As promised, mid afternoon next day, you were dressed in a complicated black dress, with frills and feathers to match the Black’s matriarch. You stood at the door, hands in front of you as you presented your full self, as your father always said. You had to fight back the tears as the door opened and it revealed a rather cruel looking house elf.

“{L/N}s, we welcome you to the noble house of Black.” He drew in a slimy way. You pouted and followed him in, your parents following close behind. Your father took off his coat as Kreacher took off your mothers, then yours.

The first thing you noticed when you entered the house was the smell. It was awful. It was a burning rotten stench, like when your father would come back from his meetings with the dark lord. You would speak more on it if you knew more than the hushed whispers between him and your mother. Everything around you was so dreary, so depressing. All black and dark colors, it made you feel smaller,

You were so wrapped up in your thoughts, you didn't notice as the Black family made themselves visible at the entrance of a rather large ballroom.

“Mr. and Mrs. {L/N}, how lovely to see you.” Mrs. Black called out to the three of you dripping in fake honey. Looking at your parents, your mother nudges you with her plastic smile, moving you both forward. “Mrs. Black, lovely to see you again.”

Their little interaction fell on deaf ears as you looked at the boys across from you. The taller one, who you assumed to be Sirius, was standing in front of a shorter boy, Regulus. The younger black was clinging to his brothers tailcoat and half behind him

Sirius was glaring at you, as much as a seven year old could glare. The look made you slowly lower your gaze down to your feet. What have you done? Only two minutes in and your future husband already seemed to hate your guts.

You winced as your father gave you a firm pat to the back of your head when he noticed your head down. You quickly raised it and looked towards the boys. Slowly, you offered your hand. “{Y-Y/N} {L/N}. It's a pleasure to meet you. You waited for Sirius to offer his hand in return, but it never happened,

Your father sent Walaburga a look, and she twisted her lip and smacked Sirius rather hard, and the boy hissed out in pain, rubbing the spot before he took and shook your hand.

That night was spent mostly clinging to your mothers leg as Sirius avoided you. Getting congratulations and proud looks from people you didn't know, and frankly, didn't want to know. Even Beatrix, Narcissa, and Andromeda Black came to congratulate you. Though, the eldest, Andromeda seemed more sympathetic than actually happy for you. The other two didn't have a truly readable look, but Narcissa kept her eye on you for the rest of the party.

When it was time to go, you were at the door waiting for a proper farewell from Sirius, but even at his mothers insistence, he refused to meet your eyes. You didn't really want this to work, you didn't want to marry someone as mean as Sirius. All you could think was that you wanted to see James and hide away at the Potters. They were the only truly comforting family you knew.

“He just kind of.. Hated me ever since. As a kid, I think I can see it. He has associated me with his family since that night. I don't know much about them, but I could make a few guesses.” You rattled on and sniffed, you didn't even notice you began to cry until Lily ran her thumbs across your cheeks. You puffed up your bottom lip and Lily gave a faint laugh at that.

“Why didn't you tell me?” She whispered and you shrugged, moving to sit up. “I don't plan to marry him, you know that. I just have to push it, avoid it until my seventeenth birthday and I have left Hogwarts.” You declared, self assured.

“I will have access to my vault then, and when I move it to my own account I can go back to the Ministry as an Auror, my own person.” You sat up straight as your eyes landed on one of the many books you had read about your hero, Alastor Moody. You scrambled to your feet, past the girls and their sympathetic looks. “I learned not to hold onto it. Sirius will thank me eventually.”

You pulled out a book and flipped a few pages, down to the ‘dedicated to’ page that had Moody’s signature. The only gift your father ever gave you that wasn't about his preset image of your future. The one thing he ever gifted you that showed you he knew who you were. Even if he seemed to hate it.

Dorcas and Marlene shared a look before Mary laid down flat against the bed with a huff. “I never figured Sirius for that kind of person.” She mumbled into a pillow.

“Really?” You, Lily, Marlene and Dorcas asked in shock, making you guys sputter out a laugh. Easily diffusing the tension of the room.

~~~

It had been a few days now, of you sneaking away from the Weasleys to go and watch Harry simply… live. It was the best feeling, watching him exist in the walls you once called home. It was nostalgic, gave you a bit of pride to watch him make choices you knew James never would, and acted with so much of his mothers patience and bleeding heart.

His friends, Merlin his friends, that Hermione girl behaved so much like Lily you caught yourself doing doubletakes whenever she would say something that sounded a bit too much like the red head. Ron, he was like a balancing act, shy like Peter, but his personality reminded you of his uncles. Particularly like Fabian.

You were quite fond of them, following them around almost everywhere you could. Eventually you cut the visits to every other day, you needed rest at some point. So, here you were, following after Harry with his two friends, listening to their complaints about a rat of some kind. The simple reminder of the animal had you huffing.

Apparently, you were a bit too loud. Harry, who was behind his friends, turned his head to look into the forest. He spotted you again, and you simply stared. This time, he smiled at you, and you gave a happy shrill. Your entire body wiggling, from your nose to the tip of your tail. He gave a laugh, and mumbled. “Hello again.”

“What was that?” Ron shouted from down the trail, and Harry only looked away for a moment, but when he looked back, you were gone. He frowned a bit before he hurried down the trail to catch up with his friends.

You followed them all the way down to the river, your ears rotating around as you watched them meet with Hagrid. You tilted your head, curious about the impromptu meeting. You remembered Hagrid vaguely, he was a charming man, but you didn’t have much time to spend with teachers casually. Like… well, a normal student. Hagrid was probably the only exception to this in your eyes. You admired the guy, but he was basically an overgrown child. Didn’t make him any less appealing.

You slipped past a few sticks and twigs to keep your volume to a minimum. That was, until you heard a few snaps behind you. You quickly turned to hide under a bush. You had run into too many wolves and other creatures who were looking to make a meal of you to take any chance.

Your thoughts were derailed when you saw it, however. A muggle dog, larger than average, black and matted, he looked like a stray riddled with mange. You lowered yourself closer to the earth, but then, something clicked. No… truly? That silky fur you knew from his constant pampering, his full coat and frame had been whittled away to nothing, but you knew him. You knew that mutt anywhere.

You took the chance. You ran from cover and bit down on his tail. He gave a yelp and whipped around with a snarl. You held his eyes, it felt like he was moments away from pouncing. You took a shaky breath before you turned sharply and dashed off deeper into the forest. It wasn't long before you heard his heavy footsteps behind you. You ran for a while, until you were positive no one else could see you. You jumped down into a miniature cliff that was once a rushing river that had run dry. The second you jumped down, you transformed back. You raised your wand to the dog before you.

Sirius, those eyes, they were his. He stared at you, and you returned the blank sentiment. He slowly shifted back and you saw him in all his tortured beauty.

He didn't look much better than he did as a dog. Hair patchy, you assumed from neglect, He did always have a hair pulling problem when you were younger, you couldn't imagine what that did for him in Azkaban. “{Y/N}...”

Your name sounded broken coming from his lips like that. He walked closer and you stepped back, He didn't relent, walking you straight against the dirt walls that encased you. He only stopped when your wand hit his chest. He looked from your wand, looking up your arm, and to your face. He gave an almost crazed smile. “Scared of me, pretty girl?”

His voice was haunting. It put a weight down your throat, even in this state he had an effect on you that you could never understand. Your hand began to shake, and he took your wrist, lowering it and stepping forward. His dirty hands took your head so gently. You both stared into eachothers eyes and he gave a crazed and desperate laugh. His grip on your cheeks growing harsher. The dirt that was on his palms and under his fingers stained your skin, “Sirius-”

“Again.”

“What?”

“My name, say it again.”

You stared at him. His voice was so strangled, likely from under use. He wet his lips and you took a shuttered breath.

“Sirius.”

He let out a sound that you were sure only a dog could make. Grinding his teeth, he dug his nails into your cheek and jaw as he forced you to look completely up. Into his eyes. “Where have you been, vixen?”

You raised your hand to grab his wrist in warning, but the crazed man seemed to have come to terms with it. “I have.. Quite the tale for you, Sirius.” You breathed, and he slowly nodded, Hands lowering to your sides and you bit your bottom lip. Looking away from him. Giving him the chance to lean into your ear to speak. “Better make it quick, Vix.”

You almost forgot how to breathe. Struggling to hang onto your anger. This man had gone after Peter alone, told no one, not even thinking about how he was abandoning your godson in the process. Your mind was suddenly fogging once more when his thumbs pushed hard against your waist and his nose found its way to your neck.

You pushed him back just a few inches, turning to face him again, “Let me start from the beginning.”

~~ Harry’s POV~~

He saw the name, he knows he did. Peter Pettigrew. He knew something was off, walking down the hall alone. The steps were getting closer, but the name tag had disappeared. He ran his thumb over the sheet as he stood still in the hall. There was a tense moment, where he was sure Peter was getting closer. He flinched at his own reflection.

He was going mad, looking at this old parchment. Surely, it was mistaken. He had gone on a wild goose chase this whole time. Oh great, now Snape is coming? “Mischief Managed, Nox”

As if he was just waiting for him to hide, a blinding light took over his peripherals.

“Potter.” Snape drawls, his lips curled up in a permanent scowl. “And what are you doing, wandering the corridors at night?”

“Uhm,” Harry stated and began to look around for any excuse he could muster. “Uh, sleep walking?”

He cursed himself as it came out as more of a question than a statement.

Snape scoffed. “You are so extraordinarily like your father, strutting around the castle.”

“My father didn't strut.” Harry snapped back and Snape narrowed his eyes at him. “And nor do I. Now, if you would be so kind as to lower your wand from my face.”

Snape lowered his wand and rolled his wrist. “Turn out your pockets.”

Harry sighed and pulled out the parchments and his wand. “Open it, now.”

He thumbed over the paper and unfolded the map. Snape lowered his wand to utter an incantation, before gesturing to the words. “Read it.”

“...” Harry sighed and lifted the page to his face. “Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Vulpes, Padfoot and Prongs offer their compliments to Professor Snape and..”

“Go on.” Snape insisted and Harry glanced up at him before sighing and looking back down.

“And request that he keeps his abnormally large nose out of other people's business.” Harry remarked as he snapped his eyes up to Snapes, looking him dead in his dark pupils.

“Why you insolent little-”

“Professor?” Lupin called down the hall, turning the nearest corner and narrowing in on the two.

Snape turned sharply and slowly smirked at the fellow professor. “Ah, Lupin. Taking a stroll out in the moonlight are we?”

Lupin resisted the urge to scoff, and looked around him. “Harry? Are you alright?” He called over in a gentle tone. Harry nodded but Snape snapped his hand forward and snatched the parchment from him before he could stop him.

“That remains to be seen. I have just now confiscated a rather curious artifact.” Snape remarked as he looked it over. Lupin felt his heart fall to his feet. He hadn't seen that map since Finch confiscated it, Lupin quickly recovered,as Snape handed it over.

“I believe this is your area of expertise.”

Lupin looked it over with a firm sigh, threw his nose, rolling his tongue to try and stifle a laugh at the words. “Looks to be a parchment designed to insult whoever reads it. Likely a Zonkos product. Severus, but.” He lifted the paper higher as Snape tried to grab it back. “I will look it over. As you said, it is my area of expertise. Now!”

Lupin turned on his heels and gestured to his side. “Harry, a word of you'd please?”

Harry nodded and quickly passed Snape, head down as if in shame.

Once they made it to the classroom, Harry followed Lupin to his desk. The professor was clearly upset, so Harry stayed quiet. He spoke calmly, but his tone was anything but, like he was holding himself back from rage he didn't recognize.

“Now I haven't the faintest idea how this map came to be in your possession, I would say I am shocked you didn't hand it in, if I didn't see James doing the same thing. I am, however, incredibly disappointed in this behavior. Did you stop to think of it? For a moment?” Lupin raised his voice steadily before he took a pause and a deep breath, turning to face Harry fully. “That if Sirius Black got his hands on this map, that this would lead straight to you?”

Harry’s eyebrows raised. It wasn't that he was unused to people's rage being directed at him, or their disappointment for that matter. But something about it being Remus looking at him like that, it broke a bit of his heart. He was just so used to Lupin’s warmth. “... No.” He admitted.

“No. Of course not.” Lupin hissed. “I understand the thrill of it all, I was a student in these halls once too, but it is time to stop looking at this like a game. You are in danger Harry. Danger that your father and your mother lost their lives trying to keep you from. Danger that the people dearest to me were killed and maimed to protect you from! And wondering about the castle with a killer on the loose seems to be a pretty poor way to repay them.”

The professor waved the paper around like it had done some horrible offense. He tossed it on his desk with a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I don't mean-” Harry tried to explain and Remus didn't want to hear it, raising his hand to tell him to be quiet.

“Didn't mean what? To sneak out? Endanger yourself and in turn, this school?”

“I didn't think it was-” He began in bewilderment and Lupin simply raised his voice.

“Do you know how many people were affected by this war? How many people were on the front lines to ensure your safety?”

“No..”

“Fabian Prewett, do you know that name?” Lupin walked up to a letter that rested on his desk. He flicked it open. Harry frowned, hard.

“No-”

“Molly Weasley’s older brother, dead. Do you know Gideon Prewett?”

“No, I-”

“Fabian's twin brother, he was splinched and lost his left arm, moved to America. Marlene McKinnon?” He prodded. Harry looked down at his shoes. “Dead, death eaters killed her entire family. Dorcus Meadows? Voldemort killed her himself after she snapped and went rogue, looking to avenge Marlene. Mary McDonnell?”

“No-”

“She was killed in her safe house days after your parents death. {Y/N} {L/N}?” His voice cracked at the name.

“Yes, that name I-”

“You don't have a clue about that woman! About your Godmother, because she was killed. Killed trying to protect you and saving lives. All of these people put themselves on the line. Not just for your parents, but for you. For the concept of what we believed was our family. Peter Pettigrew faced Sirius Black for you! And to you that means nothing but for a boy like Peter that meant the world.”

There was a thick and tense silence.”Do you know what that means? Family means we look after eachother. In order to do that, you have to look after yourself first.” He tutted as Harry sniffed and looked away. He hated to be this intense about it, but Harry needed to wake up at some point.

“I will not cover up for you again, Harry. Do you understand me?”

“Yes sir.” He whispered low and Remus huffed. “Go to your dormitory.”

Harry had never run quicker from Remus, before he paused and cleared his throat. “Professor?”

Lupin gave a deep sigh and slowly turned to look up at Harry. “Yes?”

“I think it may be broken. It's uhm.. It’s been showing me Peter Pettigrew.” He spoke carefully and Remus narrowed his eyes. Harry gave an awkward nod, muttering a good night before running off.

Remus was left alone with his thoughts, eyes wandering up to the window behind his desk. He thinned his lips as he let his mind wander next. Those names, Maybe it was the date that led him to be so hard, even close to the full moons he had learned to manage his temper for the most part. The date was getting closer and closer to when he made one of the stupidest mistakes he has made in his life.

~~~

The spring formal, in lue of the triwizard tournament in the winter. He remembered when Lily suggested it to the other prefects then to the professors. They hadn’t held the tournament in years, and the kids were close to their last years at Hogwarts.

He thought it was a cute idea at first, having been one of the many students Lily had referenced to get the whole thing reviewed by the professors. Then, he started getting those bloody questions. It started when you were all sitting together in the library, the boys, you, Lily, and Mary.

You were talking Mary threw the process of making liquid luck, when a hufflepuff boy walked up to the table. He cleared his throat and looked at you in a way that made Remus want to pull you closer. His lip twitched and the boy didn't even seem to see him there. You two always sat together, no matter where it was.

You sat up straighter and your knee pulled from his, he almost whined at the loss of your warmth. Merlin, he was a mess.

“{Y/N} {L/N}?” He called over to you and you looked up at him with your beautiful eyes. He saw the boy take a nervous breath and you sat there so patiently, eyes fluttering. “I was wondering, if you had a date yet? To the Formal, I mean.”

Your mouth shaped an ‘o’ and you gave him the sweetest look you could, avoiding pity or sympathy. “Sorry hun, you're very cute, but I am actually waiting on someone.” You remarked, Remus glanced at you to see you were already looking at him with this cheeky look. Didn't know if his blood was rushing to his face or leaving it, but he suddenly felt dizzy. You gave a giggle at his look before you turned back to Mary and got back to helping her. The curly haired girl was staring at you with a slack jaw. “Did you really just say that?” She whispered to you before Lily spoke up next. “Did you really just do that?”

He turned to face the boys and they were staring at him with wide and cheeky looks, all but Sirius who seemed annoyed by the whole thing.

“Well, he knows what I want.” You remarked and he just about fainted on the spot.

You damned Vixen.

That's how he got here, sitting in his dorm room with the boys, as they interrogated him.

“You're not going to ask her? The girl you've been mooning over for years says she wants you infront of everyone and you're not going to ask her?” James sounded like Remus had personally offended him.

“First of all, I resent that. Second, it's only been a year.” Remus muttered the last part, remembering the day he fell for you fondly. Waking up to your warmth after one of the worst nights of his life. You had found out about his condition months ago, he had been avoiding you. You always had a playful and flirty friendship. But when he woke up to you in the chair beside him, sound asleep. He thought he could see that for the rest of his life, and he fell even harder when you let out the most embarrassingly loud snore.

“You flirt with her all the time! What’s so unappealing about doing that for an entire night?” Peter, ever bold when it came to you challenged and Remus sighed.

“When the full moon is close, she can't possibly think I'm serious, and! it's hard to think the same of her when she flirts with Lily and Marlene all the same.”

“She does what now-” James sat up straight like a rocket and that made Sirius cackle.

“It's easier when it's not serious. But, a spring formal? That's like.. asking her to be my girlfriend!” Remus declared in offense and Sirius scoffed, looking over his book as Remus struggled.

“Do you not want that?” James asked and Sirius chuckled. “Must have realized how vile she truly is.”

“Watch it Sirius.” Remus huffed before he looked back at James and Peter. “Of bloody course I want that. I just can't have it.”

James gave him a confused look before he groaned. “This shit again-”

“I will ruin her life! She'll be an Auror the second we cross that lake after graduation! Then what will people think? It won't be cute anymore. A werewolf husband can't keep a job, and I can never have kids. That's the one thing she wants the most. A family.” He mumbled and James sighed. Sirius winced and sunk into his bed a bit more as Remus spoke about his betrothed without knowing it.

He was going to tell them, but you had never made it known if you wanted him to share it or not. Not that you willingly interacted with him after how he treated him. Then you started this fling with Reamus. He figured at first it was to make him jealous, and it worked. Though, the way you looked at him was chilling. He quickly realized he had gone too far, but there wasn't much he could do now. So he stayed quiet.

“Do you think maybe you would be enough for her?” Peter offered and James nodded along.

“I think knowing she settled for me would be worse.”

Remus Lupin, despite his best efforts to prove otherwise, was not stupid. He saw the way you looked at him, the tone you took with him and no one else. You were wild. fun, but responsible and respectful. You were the coolest witch he ever met, and when he first said that out loud Lily gushed like a schoolgirl. Well, as a school girl. He knew that the remark in the Library was true,

He wanted to know what loving you meant. The feel of your hand in his. He wanted to know what it was like being your number one, you already had a way of making people seem special, but to be special to you was something he wanted all to himself. He wanted you all to himself.

He couldn't have that, he couldn't do that to you. To anyone. So, he made a choice that would haunt him for the rest of his life. He would let you go, and let you down easily. Before it got too real.

Remus shoved away the memory as he sighed, pulling open the map and looking it over. “I solemnly swear I am up to no good.” He whispered to it, looking it over with a frown. He curled back the pages, looking over the forest and the names around. It was oddly stimulating, watching the prefects doing their rounds and the occasional professor here and there.

His eyes wandered all over the map, looking to see if Harry was being truthful about it having Peter’s name. He didn't see it, but his nearly dropped the map when he saw his name. Sirius Black.

And he wasn't alone.

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